#i did not expect the first song to be released so early on

[we-stan-eurovision]

Eurovision has officially started with the release of the first song and tbh I like France's song. His voice imo is just very good. I'm excited to see what songs will be competing next year!

[eddies-ashtray]

♡ falling asleep on eddie’s bed in the middle of the day & the sweet things that ensue after. (cw: g!n reader, eddie calls reader ‘pretty’ once).

Eyes still closed, you smile lazily as you tune into the rattling and whir of the yellowed fan. Basically all it does is push around warm air, but its gentle gust brushing your bare shoulders pleases you nonetheless. Sometime in the early afternoon when you’d first dozed off atop Eddie’s covers it stood, unplugged, on his side of the bed.

You know he’s next to you before you’ve fully woken from your brief slumber. The dip in the mattress, the quiet scratching of a pencil on paper. These signs not only alert you of his presence but encourage you to blink your eyes open as you draw in a deep breath.

Your gaze settles at his hip. The curled edges of Eddie’s cut up band tee rest just below his waist, exposing a sliver of pale skin.

“Mmh,” you grumble, squinting up at him as the sunshine casts a glow across the bed. “What time is it?”

Eddie’s eyes, appearing much lighter as they soak up the glowing rays, crinkle in the corners as they meet yours, a smile playing at his lips. “Hey, sleepy.”

“Dopey,” you greet in jest.

He smiles bigger, squeezing his eyes shut as a quick breath escapes his nose.

“Very original.” Eddie’s deadpan tone does not match the delight kissing his features.

You shrug with some difficulty (only one shoulder lifts as the other is pressed into the bed), as if to say ‘What did you expect? It was right there.’

Rolling over onto your back, you stretch out like a cat, your whole body lengthening as your arms reach above your head, and release an involuntary groan of pleasure feeling as your muscles stretch.

Outside, trees rustle in the breeze and children shout and laugh as they play in the summer sun. They’re such nostalgic sounds they make your heart ache for the briefest of moments, like they’d evoked a sweet childhood memory which melted away before it could fully resurface.

Sensing his eyes on you, you peek back up at Eddie as your right hand comes to rest on your stomach, the left one falling palm-up by your side.

“You look pretty when you first wake up,” he expresses, all warmth and love.

“No way.” No one does. He just loves you.

“Yes way,” He mocks lightly as he stares down at you, his hand coming to settle over your forearm as he rubs his thumb into your skin.

You concede because you know you could both go back and forth like that forever. And because you’re too warm and feel too much like jelly to argue.

Instead, you sigh contentedly before pushing yourself up so you’re shoulder-to-shoulder with Eddie.

Lolling your head onto his shoulder, you whisper, “Time?”

So apparently taken by your slightly puffy face, he’d likely forgotten you’d even asked.

Immediately, he extends his left arm out to you so you can read the watch settled on his wrist.

2:22pm.

Tugging his arm gently to your face, you press a quick kiss to his hand, “Thanks.”

He hums as you place your head back on his shoulder, the sound reverberating deep in his chest. Despite the warmth in the room the sound gives you chills.

“Watcha drawin’?” You sing-song, though you can see his sketchbook from this angle.

“Watcha think?”

You almost jest, say, feet, before you realize, “Are those my hands?”

They must be. You know it not because of how detailed the drawing is. It’s more of a sketch so far. You know it because of the ring on the middle finger.

Eddie had found it while thrifting and gifted it to you one day. It wasn’t a birthday or anniversary or holiday. Just a normal day in March. It was a particularly frigid day, all grey skies and icy window sills. You’d arrived at the trailer after your shift about 20 minutes before Eddie. But when he did arrive, he went straight to you, and he said, I got ya somethin’ with that charming smile of his, all fidgety and excited like he was about to open presents on Christmas day. And then presented you with that beautiful ring he’s so carefully sketching onto your graphite hands.

“Mhm. You’ve got nice ones,” he says, taking hold of one of yours and softly tracing the ridges of your knuckles before thumbing the silver ring. It never comes off.

Your heart aches in the best way. You feel so content being here with him. Napping on his bed and waking up to him drawing you, caring for you, loving you. You squeeze his hand in yours before tilting upwards to press a sweet kiss to his cheek.

“Keep drawing, please?”

You can’t believe you get to sit here next to him in the middle of a balmy summer’s day while he presses pencil to paper with that rickety old fan sitting on your side of the bed.

[k-zuzulibrary]

Jeongin hard thoughts?

Imagine you and jeongin were having sex when he finished first so you ended up faking an orgasm. A few days later he overhears you telling a friend over the phone abt this. When you wake up next to him the next morning you find yourself tied to your headboard, unable to escape. You are completely naked and jeongin comes in. He eats you out and forces orgasm after orgasm out of you until you are crying and he is completely relentless. He finally let's up after your 15th orgasm and you are relived, until you see him take the vibrator from the drawer and turn it to the highest and holding it against your clit while he fucks you coaxing about 20 more orgasms leaving you feeling exhausted. He says he only did this to pay you back for the orgasm he owed you.

If you do this, could u pls tag me? <3333

스트레이키즈

yang jeongin 𖹭 afab!reader

what i owe you.

synopsis: an insecure jeongin wants nothing other than to make you feel good.

content: explicit sexual content (mdni), pwp, afab!female reader, established relationship, pet names (babe, baby, innie), dubious consent but it all works out, mentioned faked orgasm, yandere!jeongin if you put glasses and squint, they have a safeword but the reader doesn't use it, not proofread, lowercase intended.

explicit warnings: dom!jeongin, he is a little mean/aggressive but sweet and calm?, cunnilingus, fingering, edging, overstimulation, using a vibrator, bondage/eagle

zuzu's notes: hiii! sorry this took so long, it was in my drafts for awhile. idk if it's okay that i answered your ask or if you wanted me to just make a post and then tag you but... well, amazing ask, girliepop! i love the idea so much, but you made it sound complete so i didn't know what to add, i hope you enjoy anyway hehe. writing this kinda reminded me of seven by jungkook ft. latto, so maybe that's a song rec while reading this lol. ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

"don't get me wrong, i love jeongin..."

i.n didn't intend to eavesdrop. he arrived home a few hours early to surprise you, but his curiosity piqued when he heard your soft voice when you were supposedly supposed to be the only one he would come home to. as he crept closer to the door of your shared bedroom, expecting the worst that he pushed to the back of his mind,

he knew that you were talking about him. he let out a breath of relief when he saw that you were on the phone. he wanted to know more but also he felt guilty for violating your privacy... it was your shared home anyway, he felt somewhat justified in his behavior.

"i guess he has been a little stressed lately and needed a quick release. i just had to fake mine,"

i.n's heart dropped to the pit of stomach. fake? he felt a gnawing sensation. as he listened closely, they prayed that you were referring to something else and not your intimate moments together. the uncertainty was weighing heavily on his mind and he felt a sense of insecurity about your pleasure. he wondered when else you would fake and he didn't realize. your words continued.

"otherwise... i don't know, he could have been embarrassed since he could always make me release before him... it's my first time having to fake it—"

without warning, i.n burst into the bedroom and loudly announced himself. "babe, i'm home!" he exclaimed, immediately capturing your attention. he proceeded to remove his shoulder bag and neatly comb his hair, all while putting on a convincing performance that he had just arrived.

"oh!" you exclaimed, hanging up the phone and rushing to put on your slippers and greeting i.n with a warm, loving hug that i.n struggled to return properly. "you're early, baby!" you said cheerily, planting a kiss on his cheek. "how was practice?"

"practice was a little tiring," he forced a smile. "i wanted to take you out to dinner."

"oh, really? let me get ready then—" you pulled away from him, looking around before heading toward the closet.

"ah, babe," he called out, following you into the bedroom and wrapped his arms around you from behind. "maybe after dinner, you'd wanna...?"

"oh," you paused. a bead of sweat dripped down i.n's forehead as he awaited your response. he felt a little nervous but he wanted to make up for your lost orgasm tonight until he heard your response; "maybe not tonight, baby." you smiled and patted his hand around you as you searched for an outfit.

"ah, okay, then..." i.n promptly removed his arms around your body and decided to wash up as well.

dinner went by quickly and quietly, probably like last night. i.n couldn't get the thought of your phone conversation out of his head and decided to plan something for the next morning.

"dinner was amazing, baby," you kissed his cheek as you opened the door to your apartment. "we haven't been able to eat out in weeks."

"that's why i wanted to surprise you..." he gave you a sweet smile.

the night ended peacefully, it was dark and quiet, the bedroom was well ventilated, and you were actually a bit chilly, so you cuddled up to i.n's broad form. curse you for being so cozy that night, you ended up having the deepest and best sleep of your life until you woke up to a sensation.

your eyes fluttered open and you look down to see i.n's head between your legs. slowly, your mind woke up along with your body and you grew alarmed, shutting your legs together, only to not. they were tied down to the foot of the bed, you tried to move your arms but they were tied to the end of the bed. "jeongin-" you rasped out.

he lifted his head from your legs, "oh, you're awake." he said blankly and wiped his bottop lip with his thumb as he sat up.

"what are you doing? untie me," you whined as your arms and legs struggled to escape the restrains.

"shh, baby, calm down..." he shuffled up, legs straddling your stomach as he leaned down and placed a tender kiss on your cheek, then your soft lips. he pulled away and stared into your eyes. "i'm simply making up for a lost orgasm the other night."

"babe, i have a meeting to get to,"

"tell them you're sick." he went back down and laid his tongue flatly on your clit, kitten licking it, earning a soft moan from you. "i'm sure you will be soon."

"baby, please-" you cried when he fit two of his thick fingers knuckle-deep effortlessly into your pussy, you were so wet from arousal and his saliva that he didn't struggle. he curled his fingers, hitting your g-spot repeatedly. "ah, baby-" you moaned out. fuck. he hadn't given you this type of attention in months, maybe it was okay to call in sick today. you were a bit overwhelmed and you could only move your hips against his hand.

"you like that?" i.n asked quietly as he watched your hips rock against his hand, eyes flickering to look at your already fucked out expression. "you must really like it..." he whispered and pulled his fingers out.

"innie!" you whined out, your disappointment was short-lived when he began lapping at your cunt again, sucking and eating you like there was no tomorrow. "don't stop like that..." you moaned, you could feel your climax building up as he sucked harshly on your clit and licked your hole. he let out a low moan as he felt your cum build up on his tongue.

"mmm, babe, you taste amazing. i can't believe i missed out on this for months..."

slowly, you caught your breath, but you felt his tongue on you again. "ah, innie, stop- i- can't..." you whined, moving your hips away from him.

"ah ah, quit moving, babe. i need to make you feel good." jeongin grabbed your hips in place and continued his job. you whined in his grasp, helpless. "if you really wanted to stop, you'd say the safeword, no?" he put his middle finger and began fingering you aggressively. you blubbered as you felt another orgasm building. "come on baby," he said, voice low as he quickened his pace, finger unrelenting, his thumb moved to rub your clit and you creamed around his finger.

"ah, baby... please..." you moaned out, eyes fluttering shut. you hadn't had to consecutive amazing orgasms forced out of you liked that before. "please..." you blubbered.

"please what?" jeongin asked, his finger began pumping inside you once more, this time he fit in his pointer and his ring, he pushed them in so deep you felt the cold silver of his rings against your folds. you whined out at the sensation. "please what baby?"

you were left speechless, your voice exhausted from the relentless stream of orgasms jeongin had wrung from you. his fingers continued to work their magic, adding another orgasm to your already impressive tally, he began to eat you out once more. and more. and more. this continued for about 10 times before he finally stopped, pulling away from your quivering pussy and sucking the evidence of your cum from his fingers.

"mhgh... baby, are you done now...?" you asked weakly, your voice barely audible. your eyes fluttered open as jeongin stood up and walked towards the bedside table, pulling out a vibrator with a wicked glint in his eye. your eyes widened.

you had a long day ahead of you.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆.˚

main masterlist.

©️ 2025 k-zuzulibrary All Rights Reserved.

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Everything we know about Yellowjackets Season 3 so far (and some theories)…

Please feel free to add on if I missed anything in a comment or reblog!

Filming schedule and potential release date

Yellowjackets Season 3 filming began on May 14th and will wrap up on October 24th. They are filming primarily in Vancouver, Canada.

According to an article from Deadline, Season 3 will not be released until “early 2025.” However, if we look at the filming to release date patterns for Seasons 1 and 2, we could potentially get Season 3 a bit earlier or, at the very least, in very early 2025. Season 1 wrapped filming in September 2021 and started airing episodes in November 2021. Similarly, Season 2 ended filming in February 2023 and started airing in March 2023. So, feasibly, we could get Season 3 any time from December 2024 to February 2025🤞

There will be a time skip in the teen timeline (and possibly the adult timeline)

So, as many of us know, official Yellowjackets social media accounts posted these behind the scenes photos for the first day of filming Season 3 on May 14th:

These photos are for the filming of 3x01, and they show that the girls are clearly not struggling to survive the winter anymore. There is no snow on the ground and everything is green and growing, indicating that it is now Spring in the teen timeline. A short video of the Yellowjackets theme song with clips of flowers growing interspersed throughout it was also posted on the Yellowjackets social media accounts, supporting that Season 3 takes place in the Spring.

We see some makeshift shelters made of wood in the background of these photos, as well, so it looks like there will be a time skip to when the girls have started to build a new civilization for themselves. It is unclear if we’ll see any scenes immediately following the cabin burning down, or if they’re just going to plop the viewers down a few months later in Spring. I’m hoping they explain how they got to this point at least a little bit, though! Even if it’s just through flashbacks. Season 2 did start us off 2 months after Jackie’s death, though, and we never really got to see any scenes of the immediate aftermath of that.

And there may be a time skip in adult timeline, as well. Someone on Twitter (can’t remember their username, please share if you know!) shared this photo of a Yellowjackets filming site:

The photo shows a poster for an art museum exhibit taking place at the end of 2023. The Twitter user said that the bus stop and poster shown here were built by the Yellowjackets crew and were taken down when the filming wrapped at this location, which means this poster was created specifically for the show. Also, this exhibit doesn’t exist in real life and that photo is a stock image. This implies that there will be a 2 year time skip in the adult timeline, as Seasons 1 and 2 took place in 2021. Once again, I hope they show us some of the immediate aftermath of the Season 2 finale and don’t just skip over it! I want to see how the survivors handle Nat’s death!

Walter is back, the actress for Gen was replaced, Nat’s hair is grown out! (finally), and Nat still wears Jackie’s heart necklace in Season 3…

Yellowjackets also posted a behind the scenes video of their first day of filming Season 3:

Walter is back for Season 3 as Elijah Wood states in the video. Many of the other cast members are shown as well, (Jasmin, Sammi, both Sophies, Courtney, etc.) all of whom we expected to return.

But one person that is absent from this video is Mya Lowe, the actress that played Gen in Season 2. Mya appears to have left Yellowjackets in pursuit of a Netflix show she is filming right now, and therefore she has been replaced by actress Vanessa Prasad, whom we can briefly see in this video.

We can also see that Nat’s roots are finally growing out! And Jackie’s gold heart necklace that Shauna placed around her neck before the hunt scene in 2x08 is still on her! Which might mean the heart necklace now serves as a symbol of her leadership (at least until it gets placed on Pit Girl’s neck).

Ella Purnell’s possible return

There have been quite a few clues that Ella Purnell, who played Jackie Taylor, may be returning for Season 3 despite the death of her character.

First, this photo was posted to Instagram, which shows Ella Purnell in Vancouver during Yellowjackets filming dates:

Yellowjackets does film in Vancouver, and Ella Purnell didn’t really have any excuse for being there at the time. Her time there would definitely align with the Yellowjackets filming schedule.

Also, Ella posted a picture of herself in a filming trailer that looks identical to the filming trailers used on the Yellowjackets set, as we can see in this photo of Sophie Nelisse (young Shauna) in her trailer:

Literally identical (look at the lights, the cabinets, the microwave!) Could the “new project” Ella is referring to be Yellowjackets Season 3?

Lastly, we have this IMDb screenshot for 3x03, which lists a person playing Ella Purnell’s stunt double:

This could be an error on IMDb’s part but with all of the other clues it’s looking like Jackie might make a Season 3 appearance! She could be appearing as a ghost/hallucination again like she did in Season 2, or we might be getting some pre-crash scenes! Especially considering that there’s a stunt double needed, maybe we’ll get pre-crash soccer scenes?

Adult Taivan scenes!!

Reddit user galaxyvixen claimed to be an extra on Season 3 of Yellowjackets and posted these behind the scenes photos:

It appears that adult Van and Tai are going to see Kill Bill together in this scene, and they look pretty cozy together (look how close their hands are!) so I think it's very likely that we'll see a romantic reunion plot line between adult Van and Tai this season. Also interesting to note, the Reddit user who posted these photos captioned them "Columbia St, New Westminster B.C. Can't wait for December!"

What do they mean by December???? Could that be the release date for Season 3? The original poster never really explained this and has now deleted this post. Take the December information with a grain of salt, though, because I highly doubt that the crew would tell an extra on set a highly secretive release date.

Jennifer Morrison Directing (and BTS adult Lottie shots!)

Jennifer Morrison (known for playing Emma Swan on Once Upon a Time) has been confirmed to be directing at least one Season 3 episode (but maybe two?) She posted a confirmation to her IG story and some BTS photos and videos of her directing Simone Kessell (AKA adult Lottie) were released.

Notice how Lottie's jacket here is so similar to the one she wears in the Wilderness! Also, she is exiting what appears to be a government building called "Atlantic Coast Trust." Maybe she's settling her father's estate? Maybe it has something to do with her getting out of the psychiatric hospital? Maybe she was summoned to court for some reason?

The bonus episode

Both the cast and writers have confirmed that there will be a bonus episode in between Seasons 2 and 3 to make up for the fact that Season 2 only had 9 episodes. Ashley Lyle, a show runner and writer, has said this bonus episode will release "closer to S3." The episode has already been filmed and features Melanie Lynskey's husband, Jason Ritter. Sophie Nelisse has said that she and the rest of the main cast were not present for filming, indicating that none of the main characters will be in this episode. Some photos from the set of this bonus episode were released:

These show Jason Ritter holding a baby, and he is wearing the plaid coat that the girls found on Cabin Guy's body in the attic. The cabin also appears to be in the background. Because of these photos, many people think the bonus episode will be about Cabin Guy. We got an interesting piece of information from a deleted scene in the script of 2x07:

The letter Van finds in this episode seems to have been written by Cabin Guy's wife or Cabin Guy himself. It mentions a baby, possibly the baby seen in the leaked photos. Bear with me here, but I think that this baby could potentially still be alive and could actually be the "friend" that kept Javi alive during the winter. She may have run away after something bad went down with her father, and found refuge in the tree stump all these years. She could be a teenager like the rest of them now and could be responsible for moving Crystal's body. Maybe the bonus episode will reveal this? Either way, I do think there is a good chance that the bonus episode will be centered around Cabin Guy. I think the episode could be released around Halloween or maybe in December around Christmas.

The FBI is involved?

Someone found a Yellowjackets filming location at Trout Lake and snapped a photo of the set:

The photo shows an FBI truck on the set. Could this be a post-rescue scene? Or perhaps the FBI has launched an investigation into the deaths of Adam Martin, Kevyn Tan, and Natalie in the adult timeline? Either way this photo has me excited.

More behind the scenes photos

Sophie Nelisse posted (and promptly deleted) this photo on her story. It looks like we'll be getting a scene of Shauna in the lake. Many people have said that the other girl in the white dress is Courtney Eaton, so Lottie may be involved in this scene too (and possibly wearing Laura Lee's night gown?) As much as I would love this to be a Shauna baptism scene, I just can't fully tell if that's Courtney or not.

And then we also have these set photos posted by Sammi Hanratty which have also now been deleted. They show some pretty impressive wooden huts and structures in the background, showing that the girls are really building their own little society out in the Wilderness. I also love the detail of the airplane seat placed by the firewood.

Joel McHale

Yellowjackets posted on all of their social medias recently that Joel McHale (Community, The Bear) will play a new recurring character in Season 3. Some people are speculating that he may be playing an older Paul (Coach Ben’s boyfriend), and I do see the resemblance and would personally love that.

Interviews

Christina Ricci had this to say about Yellowjackets Season 3:

And Ashley Lyle said the girls are "thriving" in Season 3 in the teen timeline and stated that Season 3 is a "return to Season 1" in terms of vibes and general atmosphere.

--

Overall, I am so so excited and they need to hurry the fuck up with this season! I literally cannot wait any longer. Here's to hoping that we'll at least get a release date confirmed soon...

[oacest]

Oasis' Noel Gallagher is like a bad boyfriend. He doesn't call when he says he will, and when he does show up, it's usually too early or too late. With a new album - "Don't Believe the Truth," out Tuesday - and a pending worldwide tour, he's too busy these days to squeeze chats in between television interviews in Paris and jumping on the Eurostar back to London. But like any bad boyfriend, once you get him on the line, he's as charming as all get out. Cocksure, glib and playful, he's without any of the mean spiritness you might expect from the outspoken rock 'n' roll star whose well-documented battles with other bands and his younger brother Liam are what rock legends are made of. Don't believe the stories, Noel says. "It often sounds to me a lot more vicious than it is," says on the way to a London gig. "It's all said very tongue-in-cheek, ya know? But when it's in black and white, obviously you don't see the smirk on [our] faces when [we're] saying it." But don't expect the bash brothers to let up on the fighting any time soon. "It's something that comes naturally to me," he says, adding, "I quite enjoy it as well." Recently Noel said Liam was like a woman with constant PMS, while Liam called Noel a "f---in' smug c---." But Noel wasn't upset. In fact he embraced it. "Well I am a f---in' smug c---," he says, with a smirk. "Wouldn't you be?" Sure, why not? The Manchester band's latest disc is being heralded as their best effort in years - a return to old-school Oasis - and the four-piece Brit-poppers sold out their first Madison Square Garden date, on June 22, in an hour. "It's quite amazing. I'm quite upset we didn't do it before," he says. "We don't want to go slapping each other on the back yet. We haven't done the gig yet." Oasis wants to make sure they aren't rusty. The band hasn't released anything in three years. They recorded an album with electronica duo Death in Vegas as producers, but scrapped the effort. "The songs weren't good enough. It's as simple as that really," Noel says. How did he know? He gets help from his five-year-old daughter Anais. "She said, 'Daddy I like that one. It's cool. Record that one,'" he says with a devilish laugh. "Of course, that's not true. It would be great though, wouldn't it?" They're also getting older. Noel turns 38 today, but he hates celebrating birthdays and doesn't exchange presents with his brother any time of the year. At times he seems like he only tolerates Liam. "He's good to be in a band with, but I wouldn't go down to bingo with him," he says. In fact, if they weren't brothers, Noel and Liam wouldn't be in the same band anymore. "If I didn't have a band with relatives in it I would be solo, beyond a shadow of a doubt," Noel says. That said, Noel says he looks out for Liam, as an older brother should. "I wouldn't like to leave Liam on his own," he says. "He'd get in too much trouble." Awww. That's so nice. "It is, innit," Noel says.

-NY Post, May 29, 2005

[grussellsprout]

Is This Where It Ends?

Authors Note: this is my first smau fic I have written or fic in general so please leave any suggestions down in the comments that I could do better on when writing and feel free to write any requests in my inbox for current or past drivers on the grid! This is probably gonna be multiple parts and is inspired by Bailey Zimmerman's "Where it ends"

Pairing: Logan "wanna be Captain America" Sergeant x mixedblackcountrysinger! reader

fc: Various pinterest girls

Trope: Childhood best friends to lovers to ex's to ?

Warnings: Logans gonna be problematically toxic sorry guys.

Background: You and 2023 F1 rookie Logan Sergeant grew up together while being neighbors and moms being best friends with each other growing up. The both of them trying to push their kids into a relationship since they were teenagers because of their own teenage dreams of becoming each others in laws. What happens when Logan and you finally give in and give it a shot falling in love however with your music sky rocketing and his racing career going not as expected. What happens when your sweet childhood best friend turned "love of your life" gets resentful of your success and taking you, your love, and support for granted

youruser

liked by logansargeant lilymhe and 954,649 others

youruser Finally got around to making my debut album after much anticipation from y'all. American Romance is out now! featured pic of the inspiration of the album overfilled with love and admiration for the absolute love of my life.

Tagged:logansargeant

logansargeant I love you so much my cowgirl. So proud of you baby!

| youruser awww I love you too Logie Bear thank you sm honey 💕💕💕 liked by logan sargeant

user3 Anyone else feeling incredibly single after listening to her album? just me?

| user2 ALL OF US DO

| landonorris felt incredibly single mate after that listen

| user2 LANDO? damn even the album got to him

lilymhe When do I get my own song or an album @youruser ???? Thought I was the love of your life

| francisca.cgomes get in line for your own song I get one first bc I'm really the love of her life????

| youruser You both will gotta leave the best for last @francisca.cgomes @lilymhe

user7 mother is mothering again

user5 SLAY THE HOUSE DOWN Y/N

With the debut of the new album my social media was exploding and the songs were absolutely everywhere you went. I had interviews left and right on the most know late night shows, even getting to host an episode of SNL as the music guest. Even reaching the media on the paddock being a topic for everyone on the grid as it was blowing up. However it was the only thing that they were discussing with Logan, I could tell it was starting to get to him especially with the his and the team performance in Australia and it heading into the Montreal GP. I tried to make him feel as supported by me in his career as I could. I started to cancel interviews to go to every GP there was on the calendar for the season when he started to show the slightest of signs the media attention getting to him but he just kept pushing me away. No matter what I did to try and give him the support and attention I thought he needed or wanted from me. However it just never felt enough even though I was giving it my all. Showing up to all the sessions with him (attempted to be hand by hand) early in the morning and not leaving the paddock until he was done and set while giving my entire attention to him, even while he was in the garage talking to his mechanics; there I was following him around like a puppy just happy to be there. Meanwhile whenever he did seem to acknowledge my presence, his girlfriend's presence, all he could do was give me a scowl because I was in his way, or distracting the team, or something to get me away from him. We were never like this before, he was never like this before. I was starting to regret releasing the catalyst to what feels the ending of my relationship with who was my everything, who i thought was gonna be my forever.

F1gossipandwags

F1gossipandwags Fans saw y/n l/n looking extremely shocked and confused while upset outside of a restaurant in Miami on Sunday night after Logan Sargeant’s DNF earlier that day. Reports shown while in the restaurant y/n with Sargeant she seemed to be comforting her childhood love while it was only appearing to be irritating Sargeant causing him to “flip out” and storm out of the establishment dragging the music star with him breaking off the 3 year relationship.

user43 WAIT WHAT??????

[morganas-pendragons]

The Prophecy | Celebrimbor

Guys. The brainrot is all consuming. Send help.

I was listening to the Tortured Poets Department the other day and felt like this really fits with what I’ve written for him so far. I know I’m writing this plot out of order, but it will eventually all make sense. I am still training at work, and while that constitutes nothing for me, it means I have too much time on my hands.

This will fit into the 3 part fic called Where Are You? that will cover 2x06-2x08. I haven't rewatched 2x08 yet, but that's coming. I have so many ideas for you guys that I may just start rapid fire releasing the drabbles first.

next fic is for High King Gil-Galad

Secondly, this concept is turning into an OC fic. It will be on Ao3 by the end of this year!

Tag: @pentaghasm @celebrimbormylove @thesolarangel @wild-typo-turtle @ladyoflindon @sandwichmustbetasty

Song inspiration: The Prophecy - Taylor Swift

Prompt: You ruminate on what little you remember in your purpose of being in Eregion while Celebrimbor sleeps at your side. The Valar may grant mercy on occasion, but you wonder if this ends in doom for you both.

***

Things are beginning to come back in pieces. You aren’t exactly sure why. There are flashes of gentle eyes and gray hair. Whispered words in Quenya as you perfect your natural healing ability. Your name, the real one given to you, but you don’t remember by who. Not yet.

You prefer the name given to you by Celebrimbor.

Said elf lays beneath your palm, breathing steady even as he sleeps. You had been the one to seek him out for comfort this time. It was a rare night of him succumbing to sleep early, and so you had sought him out in desperation, aching for the comfort of Celebrimbor’s embrace to shelter you from your memories.

You’d forgotten until you’d fallen into his bed how far away he was. It didn’t matter that you could feel his heartbeat, or touch his skin. He was worlds away from you.

And all because of Annatar.

Now you lay here, head pillowed against his chest, fingers tracing shapes against his abdomen, too distracted by your racing thoughts to sleep. Annatar’s constant demands and high expectations in the crafting of the Rings had put you both on edge. Celebrimbor had been elusive as well. So much of his time was spent locked away in The Forge, just out of reach.

He’d never deny you. Not even with the distance between you both.

No one but you could feel the dark magic in that room. The shadows that shrouded the elf you love, even now, so suffocating that it remains difficult to breathe.

“Please,” You whisper. No one may be listening. You have no idea. You would beg whatever entity did listen for this. “Please do not let this end in doom.”

With the trajectory of what was occurring, you had been trying to fight the impending sense of doom lingering in your heart for weeks. The nagging feeling in the back of your head that you are to be preparing for a funeral for you or Celebrimbor by the conclusion.

Or both of you.

You shiver at the thought and bury your face in Celebrimbor’s shoulder. His arm tightens around you instinctively, like the elf you’ve fallen in love with still resides deep within the recesses of the mind he’s been made prisoner in.

Please, I’ve been on my knees

Change the prophecy

“He’s so good,” You whisper. “Everything he does is from the goodness of his heart. A kind heart.” You hold your breath as your tears collide with Celebrimbor’s skin, causing him to shift beneath you and press his face into your hair with a quiet grumble. You don’t dare speak again until you’re sure he’s asleep. “All of Celebrimbor’s intentions have been pure. He wants to do right by his people and rectify the sins and shortcomings of the House of Fëanor. This should not end in ruin. Not his.”

Don’t want money, just someone who wants my company

Let it once be me

You wish you could pull him out. Use your magic to break through the darkness that has settled upon this city, settled upon him, and force your way through the walls Annatar has erected to keep him complacent. It is Celebrimbor’s own chains that keep him prisoner.

Chains built by pride and ambition.

No. If anything, Celebrimbor will have to awaken from the depths of this illusion when the stakes are too high and he has something to lose.

Who do I have to speak to

About if they can redo the prophecy??

You run your free hand to rest your fingertips against his temple, smiling against the curve of his cheek as Celebrimbor begins to stir beneath you. Heavy lidded eyes flutter open to meet your own. In those few moments of silence, you can see him.

“Why-“ Celebrimbor starts, cut off by a yawn as he buries his face in your neck and rolls to slot a leg between yours. The action has you blushing as you raise your hand to tangle your fingers in his hair. The action usually puts him right back to sleep. “It isn’t even dawn yet, love. Why are you awake?”

You contemplate an answer for several seconds. Part of you wants to tell him, to confide in him about that underlying fear of ruin, but you don’t. You don’t know what he’ll say if you directly mention Annatar.

You don’t even know if you could trust in him not repeating what you’ve said to Annatar.

So you instead allow him to place a lingering kiss at the corner of your jaw, humming softly as his fingers soothe your body's aches by massaging at your hip.

You’re so tired.

“Too much to ruminate on. My mind will not let me rest.” You reply. Celebrimbor frowns, the furrow in his brow deepening as concern flashes behind his eyes. “I will be fine. You sleep, my love. I will be here when you wake.”

Celebrimbor does not complain. He can't. Too many times have you been the one to hold him, to shelter him from the storm of his own mind as he wakes briefly enough to seek you out. Too many times have you been the one to leave food at his table, to bring him tea, to offer him your company when his solitude becomes too great to bear.

Too many times have you fallen back asleep while Celebrimbor wept in the silence.

You hear Celebrimbor whisper his, "I love you." before settling again, this time with his hand pressed against your stomach and his hair tickling your nose. The sheer vulnerability of being so willing to sleep in a position like this when you've been apart for weeks has tears burning the back of your eyes.

Who do I have to speak to To change the prophecy?

You hold him there on the precipice of sleep and allow, for just this moment, your fear to breach the surface.

"Please," You whisper. "Please, just this once, grant us mercy."

***

And far above the reaches of Middle Earth, she heard you.

The Lady of Mercy and Grief did not ignore the suffering of those who dared to reach for her.

[exitvelocities]

2023-2024 cdramas year in review

i'm borrowing this idea from thai bl tumblr, but with less fun categories because i'm tired. i'm including shows from this year and last year since i mainly watched a mixture of the two in 2024.

tagging whoever wants to do it!

overall favorite show (2024): fangs of fortune it's gorgeous, i love the characters, and it's got one of the most shippable poly casts i've seen in basically ever.

overall favorite show (2023): mysterious lotus casebook i actually did watch this one last year and i liked it, but it wasn't until i rewatched it again in 2024 that i lost my mind over it.

favorite character: di feisheng from mysterious lotus casebook my love my darling my heart. i adore him with every fiber of my being. i honestly never really noticed xiao shunyao too much before this but he's sure got my attention now.

favorite character runner up: pei sijing from fangs of fortune sorry, you can't give me a badass kuudere archer and expect me to NOT be absolutely nuts about her. cheng xiao has also improved SO much from her early days acting and i think it's super neat that they incorporated her dancing background into her fight scenes.

favorite ship: dihua from mysterious lotus casebook see above about losing my mind. it's got everything i love in a ship: history, tension, longing, being totally obsessed with one another. i've written so much this year and most of it is for them.

favorite ship runner up: jingxiao from fangs of fortune GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS i love them and they love each other. i love how flirty wx is with psj and how sincere and open psj is with wx.

favorite canon ship: song mo/dou zhao in blossom this is still airing so i hope they don't fuck it up, but it's such a refreshing dynamic. they're really partners, and he's so gone for her.

favorite canon ship runner up: gu jiusi/li yuru in destined i'm not really a fan of straight romance dramas but the strongest arc of this show is undoubtedly the first one, where they unwillingly get married and slowly fall in love. bjt is particularly charming in this role and song yi is lovely per usual.

favorite fl: dou zhao in blossom i love that she's careful and meticulous but not omnipotent. she's working at changing what she can but she's not a miracle worker. she feels warm and human and fallible in the best way. also mzy is gorgeous and i love her, fuck the haters.

favorite fl runner up: xue fangfei in the double she's batshit overpowered and it's still contrived in some instances but wu jinyan sells it enough that i just eat it up hahah.

favorite ml: li lianhua in mysterious lotus casebook his burnt out gifted kid ass is captivating. he has so many complex layers; it's a role that really gives cheng yi a chance to stretch his muscles and i think he did a great job.

favorite ml runner up: pu yiyong in oh no! here comes trouble he's a dumbass delinquent with a hereditary power to see spirits and release them, what's not to love.

favorite female supporting role: yang ying in a journey to love one of the best character arcs i've seen in a long, long time. i love her journey and where she ends up and i hope she gets everything she ever wants. iconic role for helan dou imo.

favorite female supporting role runner up: feng baobao in am nobody she doesn't understand human interaction and she loves knives and is good at them. she was made for me.

favorite male supporting role: yu shishan in journey to love breakout role for fang yilun, suave playboy with a heart of gold, faithful brother in arms. i adore him.

favorite male supporting role runner up: wang ye in i am nobody lazy, lowkey, and the best in the world. a good look for hmh also.

favorite antagonist: shen yurong from the double what a thoroughly unhinged man. i particularly loved the middle section of the show and the back and forth between him and xff. i wanted him to take a different path, but he couldn't.

favorite antagonist runner up: li lun from fangs of fortune oh my beautiful, bitter, lovelorn tree demon. he's like catnip for me.

favorite antagonist honorable mention: gong shangjue from my journey to you so intense, so brooding, so murderous.

bonus 2023 thai show section

favorite overall show: moonlight chicken i just really loved this show. i like both gemfourth and earthmix and while i did not enjoy the bit of firstkhao pandering at the end, i thought it was a generally thoughtful exploration of human foibles.

favorite cast: my school president they're adorable and i love them. this is overall such a fun, feel good show with great music. tinngun are wonderful and so are the secondary couples. special shoutout to babygirl por's outfits.

most ridiculous sex scene: bed friend you know the one.

biggest disappointment: only friends i still haven't finished it. i'm just not invested in anything or anyone. i think part of it is that i don't really love the cast, out side of neo and mark. i do like first and khao but not really together, sadly.

[aayakashii]

I always considered fiction my main way of escapism from my own troubles and the world's troubles. After yesterday, I feel like we all need a little bit of escapism and comfort, and I did the only thing I can offer, which is to write. I hope this can bring a little bit of comfort to anyone who's feeling depressed or scared. I hope my blog can be a little safe space if you need to escape. Please take care of yourselves and ily <3

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, actually a lot of comfort, Luca helps reader cope with their feelings

Frostheim always made you feel inadequate. Small. Wrong. Not enough. Your blood wasn't blue and your voice didn't have the sound of centuries of generational wealth, unlike all of its students. Thus, you had no place in speaking up, or expressing your discomfort. Much less saying no.

Which was why you found yourself stuffed inside itchy, uncomfortable clothes that had been bought with Kamurai money – another reason why you couldn't run away from that place – nursing a glass of champagne that you would, most probably, not drink.

Frostheim's balls were a whole different torture on its own.

It's not surprising that the rich would pride themselves in following obscure little etiquette rules that made them feel like they were better than everyone else. It was fine, really. They could choke on their diamonds and coins and silver cutlery for all you'd care.

It's the fact that you had to endure them that truly abhorred you. Endure the waltzes, and the fancy canapes, and the constant flood of drinks, and the stares and the whispers and the stares and the whispers.

The stares and the whispers.

You knew how much people loved to gossip in that godforsaken dorm, but you hoped your professional (and almost friendly) relationship with both the Captain and Vice-Captain would keep them at bay, at least in front of you.

But you forgot that rich people have no respect for those they deem less important than them.

So you were standing on your own, in the corner of the giant ballroom, as you counted how many people would pass by, stare you down and snicker.

Your record for the previous ball was a little over 20 people. This time, you were already on 23.

What a lovely setting.

All you wanted to do was run, go to the campus’ store and beg Benkei to give you a little discount on a bulk of instant noodles and cheap wine. You refused to eat their expensive food as much as you refused to get drunk in front of them.

That was your plan, until the loudspeakers, carefully placed in every corner of the giant room, began playing a gentle tune that reverberated deep inside your bones, and caused you pain you weren't quite expecting.

At least not at that moment.

Much to your dismay, your eyes began to sting as the first words of the oh-so familiar song reached your ears and your grip on the glass tightened instinctively.

It was such an old piece. A cheesy, melancholic little tune released back in your early teens. Back when your biggest worry were your grades and being noticed by your cute classmate.

You downed the champagne in one go, trying to force the lump on your throat to disappear. Breathing became a little bit harder as you felt your chest squeeze with painful nostalgia and you stumbled towards one of the many balconies of the vast building.

You knew they would most always be empty due to the harsh winter weather right outside its glass doors, but you didn't mind. You needed space. Air. And if you were going to ruin your makeup, you wanted to do it on your own.

The singer's voice was slightly muffled, but you could still hear her. The lyrics lamented a wasted love, but all you could think of were the memories associated with the song.

You remembered carrying your childhood dog in your arms as you danced to it in your old bedroom, thinking about fairytale romance and the bright future ahead of you.

You remembered crying to the sound of it after your first heartbreak and the taste of salt on your tongue while your parents drove you to the beach, the song playing softly in the car's speakers.

You remembered sleeping soundly in a friend's room during a sleepover, the song playing time and time again after you all forgot to turn off the computer and the old music player.

You remembered your past life, seeming so far away from you despite you still being so young.

White, glittery flakes barely fell despite the biting cold that enveloped Frostheim like a snow globe. You shivered constantly, but were focused on how strongly you were biting your bottom lip, trying to keep the tears at bay. Your hands gripped the balcony's railing tightly, as you tried to ground yourself.

You missed the sound of the door opening in your intense focus, only snapping out of your daze once you felt a warm coat being draped over your shoulders.

“You shouldn't be outside without a coat. You could catch a cold, or worse.”

Warm breath tickled your cheek and you turned around, only to face two bright violet orbs that widened as soon as you showed your tear-stricken face.

“What happened?” Luca placed his hands on your shoulder, squeezing them lightly, voice frantic. “Are you okay? Did someone say something to you? Did you get hurt?”

You sniffled, quickly shaking your head in order to stop the barrage of questions. You enveloped yourself with his coat a bit tighter, finally realizing how cold you felt. The scent of bergamot on his clothes managed to ground you better than your own nails ever could.

“No, I'm fine. Nothing happened.” You murmured, looking down, a bit ashamed that your breakdown just had a witness.

“Something must have happened. You're crying. If you're distressed, you can tell me.”

You stared at Luca's worried expression for a second before sighing. He walked to your side, leaning onto the balcony's railing like you were just a few moments before.

“It's… nothing important, really. It's just a song that was played there.” you murmured.

“A song?”

“Yeah, I… it's a song I used to listen to when I was younger. It made me remember, you know? Stuff. My life out of here.”

Luca's worried expression morphed into one of sympathy. His lips pursed as he nodded, understanding what you meant without needing other words.

“You must be missing a lot of people.” He said quietly as you settled yourself beside him, looking at the winter wonderland that were Frostheim's gardens.

“Haha, yeah…” You sighed, tired. “A lot of people I didn't get to say goodbye to, nor explain anything. People that probably miss me too. My pets as well. Friends. I had a lot out there. It wasn't much, but it was mine.”

Your voice became strained as your eyes watered once more. You cleared your throat, trying once again to push down that lump. You might have ruined your makeup, but you didn't want to cry even more in front of the boy – you didn't want to feel like you were victimizing yourself, even if deep down you knew you were anything but guilty of your situation.

Luca placed his hand on your head, his touch heavy and warm despite the ambient. His violet eyes looked at you with a swirl of empathy and pain.

“I understand you.” He said, swallowing hard. “It's jarring. The sudden changes, the fear of the unknown and what the future holds. I miss my family too.”

“Right… you came from another country.” You felt dumb for a moment. For venting your anguish onto someone that was living something so similar to you. And in Luca's case, he was all alone in a foreign place.

You suddenly felt small.

“Yes. And it's hard sometimes. Most times, actually.” He chewed on his bottom lip before giving you a small smile. “But I try to keep my mind set on something so I won't get lost in my emotions. Nor in my grief.”

“Your brother…”

He nodded.

“I set my mind into finding a way to get him back. And I won't back down from this until I've done all I can, until I have him back with our family. But also…” His eyes flickered towards yours, scanning your face.

“What?”

“I do have another goal to keep me afloat. Something else I fight for, so I won't give up despite how hard it all is.”

You tilt your head in curiosity. Luca places his gloved hand onto yours, the warmth seeping into your skin as he squeezes you tightly and his eyes burn with determination.

“I also want to find a way to cure you of your curse. To send you back to those people you love and miss. I want to help you get your future back.”

You couldn't help the way your eyes welled up once again, this time out of gratitude for the boy that stood right beside you.

You knew how Luca had to consciously choose to fight against the odds time and time again, despite how others didn't understand his drive and even deemed him weird or inconvenient. You knew how he worked so hard to one day achieve his goals and to have him so openly offer his hand to help you achieve yours warmed your heart.

“Luca…” You muttered, feeling the tears freely run down your cheeks.

“You won't be lost if we're like this.” He raised the hand that was intertwined with yours. You nodded, drying your eyes with the flimsy sleeve of your clothes.

“I'll help you find your brother too.” You announced, as determined as him, through a stuffy nose and dry mouth.

“Thank you.” He beamed at you, his smile blindingly bright. “And when you feel like this again, when you're lost in your own grief… I hope you know you can count on me. As much as I will count on you when I need your help. Okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded. “Let's just ask Tohma to delete that song from his playlist, please.” You added and Luca laughed in agreement.

He pulled you towards the glass doors, leading you back into the warmth of the ballroom.

Before he opened the doors, he looked at you one more time.

“Let's help each other stay afloat?” He asked, smiling gently.

You smiled back.

“Let's. Thank you, Luca.”

“It's what I'm here for.”

He opened the doors and ushered you inside, shielding you from the cold outside.

[caesium-55]

—everything is orange. [ i ]

pairing: lando norris x kpop idol! reader

summary: a racecar driver who needed a fake girlfriend to dispel rumors and a kpop idol who needed publicity for her song. somewhere in between orange cars and orange sunsets, stands something they're afraid of naming.

author's note: i wont take tags for this im sorry 😭 also, i changed the faceclaim

masterlist.

The room is dimly lit. You didn't like dim lighting. It reminds you of your childhood bedroom. A barely functioning lightbulb hanging on the ceiling, your mother never bothering to change it. You were too short to change it yourself. You asked your neighbor once to do it for you but he had asked for a night with you in exchange so you kicked him out of the house before he could change the light bulb. You chose to study under the sucky light which became the reason behind your poor eyesight today.

You sit on a chair across Atty. Kim Jin Hwang, HAN entertainment's legal representative and one of the best lawyers Seoul has to offer, with a table dividing the two of you. He’s a man in his fifties, quite close to the age of retirement. He’s a veteran and despite his age, his mind is still sharp. 

You refrain yourself from tapping your foot against the floor anxiously. Anxiety does not look good on you and you refuse to show people that you're anxious. Anxiety is weakness so you keep your posture straight and make sure to keep eye contact with Atty. Kim. If you look away first, you're a coward.

“Tell me honestly. Is this you in the pictures?” Atty. Kim Jin Hwang points at the pictures sprawled across the table. They’re blurry and grainy and incredibly zoomed in. You can't even tell it was you from some angles. You look quite different from the person that you were when you were sixteen. HAN Entertainment is particularly fond of investing in their idol’s plastic surgeries and while they only fixed your crooked teeth, removed the hump on your nose bridge, altered your uneven ears, bleached your skin, and plucked your brows—which are quite minor changes—you still hold very little resemblance to the teenage you. 

You grew up well. Thankfully, you inherited only the best parts of your parents. Or at least, the best parts of your Mom. You have no idea what your father looked like, only knowing that he was from Brazil or some country in South America.

“Yes,” you answer immediately, not bothering to lie. What is the point of lying anyway? People have been calling you all sorts of malicious names across different social media platforms and you’re sure Atty. Kim has seen some of them. There’s no point lying to his face and saving your image anymore. Might as well admit that you are exactly the kind of person they’ve been yapping about. An illegal driver. A criminal. 

“Why did you do it?” Atty. Kim asks and truthfully, you did not expect the question. You expected the what and how and where and when but never the why question. You fall into a thoughtful pause.

“I was sixteen,” you shrug your shoulders, almost uncaringly so. “I wanted to leave home as early as I could and to do that, I needed money. Nobody wanted to accept student part-timers and I tried doing stuff like tutoring and doing other people’s assignments but it wasn't enough. I have a friend who joins street races. He’s not a good driver but he’s got a good car. He really wants to win so he cheated and let me drive his car on the condition that if I win, he’ll split me the winner’s money. I did it. I won races in that car, acting as if he was the one driving it.”

Atty. Kim gives you a long look. You don’t know what it means. 

“Alright,” Atty. Kimlifts his chin and rises from his chair. “That concludes our meeting. In the meantime, you lay low. We’ll handle everything.”

You nod, “Okay.”

True to Atty. Kim’s words, HAN entertainment handled everything. They released a statement that you watched one race because you were sixteen and clueless and didn't know you were getting yourself involved in an illegal activity. It helped that you drove under a different name so people were easily convinced of this lie. You knew your friend—the owner of the car— wouldn't even reveal that it was you who’d driven the car. His ego would be bruised once the people discovered that he cheated on the street races and a sixteen-year-old girl with no license and no personal car outperformed him. 

Additionally, HAN announced that you were to depart your group—ORACLE—which absolutely destroyed you because ORACLE had been the place where you felt like you belonged. ORACLE had been your goal. You worked yourself to the bone to the point of collapse because you wanted to be in ORACLE and wanted to remain in ORACLE.

Nevertheless, you accepted your fate easily. There was no point destroying the other members because of your fault alone. 

Your members cried for a whole week after the announcement was made public through HAN Entertainment’s official social media platforms and you spent every single day you could still spend inside the dorm reassuring them, telling them that you’d still be there for them, that you’d be standing behind them in each step to their success. You loved your girls so much. You wouldn't even choose to leave them. If only fate was a bit kinder to you. If only life was less brutal.

Furthermore, HAN made you publish a handwritten apology letter. You couldn't remember what you wrote anymore but you did remember how heavy the pen felt, how your hands trembled as you wrote each sentence, how writing the damn letter took three hours because you kept breaking down midway. They announced your hiatus promptly after. They used the term indefinite hiatus but it might as well be retirement.

You can't believe that you suffered through sixteen years under the same roof as your incredibly abusive mother, left home with only a backpack and a paper bag of cash just as you hit eighteen years old, worked your way in the harsh world by juggling three part-time jobs and a scholarship-shouldered university education until a scout noticed you, undergone the rigorous and borderline suicidal training of a KPop idol to-be, and sacrificed everything you had—mental stability, blood, sweat, and tears—just so you could pass every monthly evaluation and become your company’s darling, only to have everything disappear because someone found pictures of you predebut in an illegal street racing event. Fuck. 

You were fucking sixteen at that time! You didn't know any better. You only wanted money. You didn't have a license. Getting one is too expensive. You borrowed a car from a friend. It's an unregistered car. You drove the car. You won races. You stopped when you turned eighteen. That was it. 

Knetz decided to crucify you for a sin born out of your desperation when you were sixteen. When a dog was hungry, it ate whatever was thrown its way, uncaring if the food thrown at it was good or not because its primary instinct was only to cure its hunger. It was not as if you sexually assaulted someone. It was not as if you bullied someone and involved yourself in school violence. It was not as if you drank alcohol and drove or even involved yourself in gambling. Sure, street racing was illegal but you never even hurt someone! You never even crashed into someone mid-race.

You’re sure you’re going to leave the company and you won't fight their decision if they want you to do so. People spit out their gum when they lose their flavor. That's also what the industry did. You saw it happen too many times to too many idols. They collect pretty faces, push them to their limits until they could be loved by the public and once the public decides they’re not worth loving anymore, they’d spit them out. You are a gum in this story.

You feel like you’re eighteen again. You want to run away from home all over again. You ran away from the house you were born in once and now, you’re going to run away from the house you worked hard to live in. You want to pack your bags and board the next plane to another country even before the light of the rising sun touches the ground. That gnawing feeling of not belonging to a place that’s supposed to be home kept tormenting the cracks of your heart and the only way to seemingly get rid of it albeit only temporarily is to pick up on your feet and run away, never to leave anything behind you. Not ghosts, not traces, not memories—nothing.

But HAN entertainment won't let you. Yoon PD-nim knocked on your door, a contract in hand. He offered you an apartment to live in, a salary, a place in the company, and told you to keep creating songs. HAN Entertainment knew your talent in song making and producing was partly behind the success of ORACLE, their rising girl group. You were too useful to get rid of easily. 

And like that, you spent the last two years making music for every kpop group under HAN Entertainment. You mostly made B-sides for the junior girl groups, AURORA and PRIZMA, and the title tracks for boy groups, HIRA and 1THEBOY. You worked for soloist, Ciel, once for his last comeback before his mandatory military service and worked on half a mini-album’s worth of songs for ORACLE every comeback. Thankfully, the songs gained positive feedback from the general public. That was your ticket to keep staying in HAN entertainment as a ghost producer and ghost song-writer.

Two years. You rotted in your apartment and the studio. This felt no different than the time you lived under your parents’ roof. You felt like a ghost, present but also not quite there. It's quite fitting, you think. You're a ghost producer and a ghost song-writer. 

This was not a life worth living but you’d rather a life not worth living than have nothing at all. 

You empty your fifth cup of coffee for the day—an unhealthy brew of Americano with five shots of espresso—before standing up from the ergonomic chair where you’ve glued your ass on in the last two to three business hours. The demo for Sunset Paradise is almost finished. There are still a few parts that need major adjustments and refinement but you’re confident that you’ll be done by midnight.

Manager-nim enters the studio just as you reach the door. You jump, almost kicking the indoor potted plant inconveniently positioned near the door. The caffeine made you extra jumpy today. Once you get over your tiny shock, you bow your head in greeting. Manager-nim mirrors your actions.

“You're still working?” he asks.

“You're still bald?” 

Manager-nim rolls his eyes at you, smiling. You chuckle. 

Manager-nim, or rather, Song Dan, is ORACLE’s manager. He is a middle-aged man who only came up to your shoulders. He’s shaped like a square with round glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He treated you and the other members of ORACLE as if you were his daughters. 

“I’m going to go get coffee. You can sit here for a while,” you invite, gesturing to the tiny cream couch. You use your feet to nudge the potted plant and clear Manager-nim’s path.

“No coffee,” Manager-nim stops you, taking a seat. “That's enough coffee for you today. Sit down here. We need to talk.”

“You can't kick me out. I won't give you Ciel’s first post-military mini album and ORACLE’s summer title track if you do.”

Manager-nim’s eyebrows draw together, a vertical wrinkle appearing between them, “What? No. We're not kicking you out.”

Your shoulders sag, relieved.

“Yoon PD-nim wants you to release a single.”

At that, your entire body stiffens, eyes going wide as saucers. You let out a noise in disbelief.

“You're joking.”

Manager-nim’s face doesn't shift in the slightest.

“You're actually serious,” you rub your chin with your hand. 

What is Yoon PD-nim trying to pull now? Two years have passed since you’ve disappeared from the limelight. You're certain that you're not returning to the world of flashing lights and stage performance anymore and you’ve already accepted that your career has ended.

“Why?” your voice slightly wavers as you ask. Manager-nim sighs heavily, patting the vacant space beside him.

“Take a seat. We’re going to be talking for a while.”

The girl in the mirror stares back at you. She looks exhausted. She has deep bags underneath her eyes. Her shoulders are bony. They look like they're about to pierce through her pale skin. Her lips, which should be a nice shade of pink, are pale. Her eyes hold emptiness.

You pull your gaze away from your reflection and direct it to the bathroom sink, where a hair brush sits on the white tiles quietly. Fallen hair gathers up in its numerous sharp teeth. At this rate, you’re going to end up like Manager-nim—bald. 

You can't go bald. You have a weirdly shaped head.

“Yoon PD-nim wants you to release a single but before the release, he needs you to be in a PR relationship with someone.”

You hiss loudly, slapping a hand on your temple. God, you want to act like Manager-nim never said that. You don't want to remember it.

You? A PR relationship? With someone you don't know? How atrocious. You didn't even need to hear Manager-nim out until the end. You are out. You do not vibe with romantic relationships. They make your skin crawl.

“Listen, [Name]. This might be your only chance to come back again.”

“What if I don't want to come back again?”

“Then why are you still here? Why are you still making music? You're good at leaving so why didn't you?”

The public still terrifies you but you will never tell that to anyone. You can’t even go out and buy groceries without trembling. So many eyes. So many judging eyes. They're all waiting to destroy you again with their stupid eyes and stupid mouths with sharp teeth. A stupid PR relationship won't save you.

But what if it will?

You hold the edges of the sink and lean the majority of your weight against it. Your knuckles slowly turn white. Your knees feel weak. You close your eyes and let out a shaky sigh.

Why are you still here? A voice in your head asks.

I just want to be home. You reply.

Do it. This is your ticket to go home. It says.

You open your eyes and gaze into the mirror. 

Do you want to be home?

More than anything.

With a nod, you push yourself away from the sink and exit the bathroom.

Yoon Sang Hyuk, CEO of HAN Entertainment—the black marble desk name plate indicates; the text an intimidating shade of gold. The owner of the name sits behind the table, his legs crossed over the other. His face is sealed with a neutral expression. Suddenly, a satisfied smile works its way across his face and you swear the wrinkles that permeated his entire face doubled in amount.

“I knew you still had it in you,” he says calmly. “That's good.”

“Thank you,” you say, your tone coming out bland. 

“I’ll give you a manager and you are to leave for Singapore tomorrow.”

You nod, “Yes, Yoon PD-nim.”

“Oh and [Name]?”

“Yes, Yoon PD-nim?”

“I know you're smart and you're hardworking and you're strong,” he begins. “I am confident you’ll do well so when you fly out there, don't be intimidated by any of them. You're as powerful as them. Remember the reason why you're there in the first place and do what you think is best.”

“You're putting a lot of trust in me,” you observe. 

It's questionable; the amount of trust he’s giving you. You already expected that Yoon PD-nim would send out an entire escort team just to make sure that you're not going to mess up again and get yourself involved in a PR nightmare incident. Who knows? Maybe someone will dig up pics of you copying homework from your seatmate in middle school and crucify you for being an academic cheater while you're out there holding hands with your fake boyfriend.

“I know you won't make the same mistake twice.”

You finally catch the underlying message behind his seemingly harmless words.

Focus on coming back and don't make another mistake. 

You nod, “Yes, Yoon PD-nim.”

“Lando Kinder Norris,” you read the name on the folder, brows furrowing. That's a rather unique middle name. “British-Belgian. Born November 13, 1999—” 

It's good that your fake boyfriend and you were born in the same year. You're not very fond of age gaps.

“—in Bristol, England. Currently racing for McLaren. Car number 4. First entry is the Australian Grand Prix.”

Below is a series of long paragraphs detailing his racing history that you’re definitely not reading. Shoving the folder aside, you lean back into the seat and cross your arms over your chest. Your eyes flutter close. Jinnie, a HAN entertainment manager who looks like she’s half white and half Asian, gives you a judging look from her seat. 

“You should read it,” she advises.

“No,” you say.

“I spent hours compiling that information,” Jinnie frowns. 

“You compiled the wrong info,” you tell her, not even bothering to glance towards her. “Nobody will believe we’re real if I only know the things written in Wikipedia. You should have asked his PR team how he likes his coffee, if he prefers brunch dates or dinner dates, if he likes staying in or going out, if he likes the sunny weather or the rain, if he’d rather get food delivery or cook, if he’d like to hold hands and walk side by side or walk ahead of you so he can act like your guard dog. Those things.”

To be loved is to be known.

“You speak as if you have romantic experience.”

“Do poets have to experience the things they write poetry about?” you retort. “Immanuel Kant believed that everything depended on how individuals interpret and respond to his environment based on their personal opinions and feelings. I don't need to experience it to know.”

Recurring observations are your common source of knowledge. Reading is another.

And besides, this isn't your first PR relationship. You like to think that you know exactly what you're doing.

“Tell me something that's not written in the folder, Jinnie-ssi,” you open your eyes and tilt your head so you can lock eyes with her. “For example, why does a distinguished racer need a fake relationship? I can’t be the only one benefiting from this agreement.”

Jinnie purses her lips, “I don't know much.”

“But you know something,” you rest your chin on the palm of your hand. “Tell me.”

“There have been rumors that Lando Norris got a girl pregnant. The woman marched into Woking and demanded to see him. Apparently, he got her pregnant when they slept together in a bar,” Jinnie shakes her head. “It's a messy ordeal but McLaren recently proved that Lando wasn't the father. Too bad though, the public isn't believing them.” 

“And they think giving him a girlfriend would somehow make the public love him?”

“They need to show the world that their boy isn't an asshole,” Jinnie says. “That he’s a loving, loyal partner. That he isn't capable of committing fuckboy crimes because he has a girlfriend waiting for him at home.”

You snort. McLaren really decided that you’ll be the best girlfriend? How did they even know your existence? The KPop community and the F1 community are worlds far away from each other. It's easier for them to choose a supermodel, an American actress, or even a pop star. But no, they really decided that a washed-up KPop idol is a good girlfriend for their star boy. You can think of a few reasons why they chose you. 

“Are you sure he really isn't the father?” you ask. Companies can ignore morality for the sake of protecting their golden images. HAN Entertainment is no different. For all you know, you’re going to be fake dating an asshole who made a woman pregnant and refused to take responsibility. He’d be no different from your father who left your pregnant mother.

“Beats me.”

An hour later, the plane lands in the most expensive city in the world, Singapore.

You have three choices: a VAQUERA blue devil sweatshirt, Motel Rock chute trousers, and a Adidas forum low shoes combo, or a varsity baseball jacket, Bonbom rhee cargo pants, and a Curetty C round toe mary janes combo. You went with the varsity jacket-cargo pants-mary janes combo. You put on a bonnet to finish the look. When Jinnie enters the hotel room and sees what you're wearing, she immediately says:

“No. You're definitely not wearing that.”

“What's wrong with this?” you ask, looking down at your fit. This is what you usually wear. They're comfortable and acubi fashion is a trend nowadays. 

“You're a WAG now. Dress like it.”

Your eyebrow arches.

“WAG?”

“Wife and girlfriend,” Jinnie replies. Your confusion isn't absolved, not even the slightest. Your mouth pulls to the side.

“And how does this correlate to my fashion sense? Do race car drivers control their girlfriend’s fashion style?” you genuinely question.

“No,” Jinnie says. “But they’d prefer it if you dress in something befitting for a WAG, you know? Elegance? Classic timely looks?”

You put a finger up, “No.”

Jinnie huffs, “I’m not taking a no for an answer. Wear a satin dress. Wear cotton trousers and silk blouses. Look like you're from an old money family, not some hip hop dancer from the streets. You're no longer your own person, you are an extension of Lando Norris. You have to look a certain way, act a certain way, talk a certain way. Your goal is to make Lando Norris look good.”

You push your tongue to the inside of your cheek, annoyed. Your jaw is tense.

“And when Lando Norris looks good, you’ll look good. Good enough that the public will love you again to support your new song. Do you understand?”

She's right.

She's right.

You hate that she's right.

No matter how bitter the truth tastes, you are irrelevant and Lando Norris is your ticket to going back. In any other world, you will never ever allow yourself to become a jewelry for a man to wear. So you grit your teeth, keep the ugly prideful monster within you at bay, and clench your fists. You have nothing and when you have nothing, you need to be resourceful and make use of the people who have the things to push you to the top again.

You let out a sigh, “Jinnie, choose my outfit for me.”

Jinnie nods and leaves the room immediately.

It's three days before the Singapore FP1 2023. Jinnie drives you to meet Lando in his hotel. They organized a lunch gathering with you, Jinnie, Lando, and the other McLaren PR representatives who are responsible for this entire PR scam. 

You're wearing a Versace tweed cardigan and a boucle tweed skirt paired with high heel leather boots and Greca goddess large shoulder bag. All black in color. Jinnie is the one who styled your hair. She insisted on it actually, claiming that your beach waves hair isn't doing it. She flat ironed the hell out of your hair so now, it's straight as a pole. She also sprayed your bangs with strong hold hairspray to keep them in place.

The outside world is nothing but a blur of high-rise buildings and cement pavements as the car runs. You're picking on your nails. They're clean but bare of manicures. Your two pinky nails are a bit too short. You tried to stop yourself from biting them in the airport but you can’t resist.

Two years is a long time. A bit too long in your opinion. You don't remember the things you learned in your etiquette classes anymore—how to stand in the public, how to walk, how to pose in front of the cameras, how to smile, how to greet people, how to look completely in your element despite being anxious of having a thousand eyes staring at you, how to act as if you're not crumbling at the pressure of looking good for everyone. That's the only way they’ll love you. If you look good in their eyes.

“We’re here.”

You blink.

“Come again?”

Jinnie points outside the car window. The car stopped and you didn't notice.

“Sorry,” you mutter, flipping your hair over your shoulder. You let out a breath, roll your shoulders back, and push the door open. Your entire face relaxes and you smile politely at the valet when Jinnie hands him the keys of the car. You ignore the starstruck expression on his face as you gesture to Jinnie to lead the way, following after her but not before saying your thanks to the valet. You're polite. You're trained to be.

You keep your shoulders square and your walk confident as you enter the hotel lobby. There aren’t a lot of people inside. There's a family of four in a corner, a group of elderly people sitting in the waiting area, and a group of posh friends chatting near the front desk. You can see a few heads turning in your peripheral vision. You can't blame them. You can be stunning if you try to be.

Your heart begins to ram violently against your rib cage. A million butterflies infest your intestines. Your ankles feel like it’ll snap in half a few minutes later. Your mind chants: DID THEY NOTICE HOW SCARED I AM? DID THEY NOTICE HOW TERRIFIED I AM? DID THEY NOTICE? DID THEY?

You want your ball cap and your sunglasses and your face mask. You want to hide your face.

You have to control your breathing as subtly as you can but you continue walking as if you're the prettiest yet the most down-to-earth creature to ever grace the planet. You fix your hair again once Jinnie and you stop in front of the elevator. Jinnie presses a button and you wait. While waiting, you twist the sole of your boot against the floor. It's better than tapping it against the floor. The elevator dings and the two of you enter the empty box.

When the doors close, your knees give out. You slam your hands against the stainless steel walls to stop yourself from dropping to your knees on the floor. Jinnie’s hands wrap around your waist, supporting as you pull yourself up. Her face contorts in worry.

“Are you alright?” she asks. You nod quickly.

“Yeah, yeah,” you lay your palm against your chest, right above your drumming heart. “Thanks.”

You straighten up, tugging the hem of your Versace tweed outfit to smoothen the creases and fixing your hair again. You clear your throat. The elevator dings and the doors open. You step out and your mask slides in place. 

Jinnie leads you to a private dining hall. In the middle of a hall is a table occupied by five people wearing tacky orange-black polo shirts. You recognize one of them to be your fake boyfriend, Lando Norris. 

Jinnie had already shown you what he looked like in her tablet and a few printed pictures but the pictures didn't do him justice. He looks extra charming personally.

He's still not your type.

The entire group rises to a stand just as you and Jinnie reach the table. You give a ninety degree bow, hands flat on the collar of your top so you won't accidentally give the McLaren people a view of your chest. (It's not like they have something to see anyway. Your chest is flatter than a rice field.) The edges of your lips curl upwards in a polite smile. You see Lando, your supposed fake boyfriend, try to imitate the bow, although he doesn't go as deep as you did. Your head tilts slightly at his action. 

Jinnie is the first one who speaks, stretching a hand in front of her to shake hands with the McLaren team. She introduces herself in fluent English, “I’m Jinnie Jo of HAN Entertainment. It's a pleasure to meet you. This is [Name].”

They each introduce themselves one by one. Nicole, Greg, Kyla, and Louis. You try to memorize their faces and their names, drilling it into your brain so you won't forget. You're going to be working closely with them after all.

“Hi,” you greet them. You also shake hands with each of them. It feels weird, shaking hands as greetings. You are more accustomed to bowing. 

“Wow, Jinnie, your accent is good,” Kyla compliments your manager.

“Thank you,” Jinnie smiles pleasantly. “I was born in Chicago. English is my first language.”

“How about her? Does she speak English?” Louis inquires. He's giving you a funny look. You ignore it.

“She does,” you smile at him pleasantly. “I’m very fluent. You don't have to worry.”

Risha, the Canadian member of ORACLE, was the one who helped you master English. You even have a Canadian accent when you speak English because of her. Additionally, you also took language classes when you were a trainee—Japanese, Chinese, English, and you even requested Portuguese, Spanish, French, and Korean sign language. You dabbled a bit on Tagalog, too, because you know how large the ORACLE fanbase is in the Philippines. You continued taking the classes up even after debut, even after all the members of the group had stopped, because you wanted to master the languages for the fans, to be able to hold conversations with them, to connect with them. You only stopped going to the classes after leaving the group two years ago. It's nice to see that your English skills are still in perfect shape.

“Please take a seat,” Nicole invites. You and Jinnie sit down. You place your bag on the empty chair beside you and when you pull your gaze up, you coincidentally meet Lando’s eyes. They're blue and green with flecks of hazel dusted in the middle. It's the first time you've seen someone with eyes wielding three different colors. They're stunning.

You smile at him. He smiles back and then averts his gaze. You turn to Nicole, who’s sitting beside you.

“Now,” she says, putting two folders on the table. She slides them towards you and Jinnie. Jinnie picks them up. You don't. Instead, you stare at them. 

“What are these?” you question, slowly bringing your eyes up and meeting Nicole’s gaze.

“Contracts,” she answers.

“Contracts?” you echo, picking the folder up and opening it. You take your sweet time reading from top to bottom, tilting your head a bit to the side.

“You don't have to read it all. It's all just formalities. Just sign it,” Louis inputs. “Reading can be hard for you since it's not your first language—”

“I read just fine,” you interrupt, not glancing up as your eyes thoughtfully scan through the words printed on the paper. “Thank you for the concern but this is a contract that involves me and my future. I wish to know what I’m agreeing to.”

Louis wisely keeps his mouth shut. You put your hand on your mouth so you can discreetly smirk.

When you finish reading, you slowly set the folder back on the table. You press your tongue against the inside of your cheek as you tap your finger on the wooden surface of the table. 

“This is unfairly written, don't you agree?” you ask. “You're putting rather lots of demands on me but so little on him.”

From beside you, Jinnie thins her lips. You know she's also thinking the same thing. Fucking HAN Entertainment. They didn't even make sure that the contents of the contracts are not disadvantageous towards you. You are disappointed but not surprised. They really just sent you to be devoured by wolves and demanded you to not make a mistake.

McLaren also thinks they can just choose a washed-up KPop idol to cosplay as their golden boy’s trophy girlfriend and make her do all their demands with little benefits and zero complaint. They deliberately chose someone who still holds popularity but little power. Someone who needs them as badly as they need her. They chose you.

Assholes. The two of them.

“What do you want him to do anyway?” Louis sneers. His face is beginning to look a little too annoying. “He's busy building his career. All you have to do is support him and make sure everyone knows it because you have none. That's all. Or is that a little hard for you?”

Louis is getting this all wrong. Jinnie told you that you're going to fix his reputation for him so his career wouldn't be ruined. In exchange, he gives you publicity so you could bring your career back from ruination. This is not a parasitic relationship where only their side gets the benefits. How could you even work on that comeback of yours if you're going to be glued by his side? 

Your jaw ticks with restraint yet you choose to smile, “He’s not the only one building his career.”

You pick up the folder and toss it to Jinnie, who catches it skillfully. 

“Throw that away. We're flying home. I don't need a PR relationship to promote my single that much.”

Satisfaction fills you when their faces grow alarmed. 

Ha.

“Wait,” Kyla stands and she shoots a dirty glance towards Louis. Your eyebrows scrunch a little. “The contracts are open to revisions.”

You clap your hands together, smiling widely.

“Perfect. Jinnie, hand me a pen.”

The team leaves you and Lando alone in the hall to eat, to give you both a chance to get to know each other. 

You allow your eyes to scan the hall. It has a bright spacious ambiance. The windows are stretched from the floor to the ceiling, allowing as much natural light inside. Singapore looks absolutely breathtaking down below. The flooring is made out of natural pine and a crystal chandelier hangs atop the table where you and Lando ate. You keep thinking: what if it'll fall? You shake the thought out of your head and put a fork full of pasta into your mouth.

“Is the pasta good?” Lando asks. You nod, humming and smiling. You don't like it one bit. You're also mildly allergic to shellfish. You're definitely going to get a bad case of rash later. You hope Jinnie is prepared with a medicine kit. You forgot to bring yours.

You wipe your mouth with your table napkin, announcing, “I’m full.”

You have only eaten half the plate.

“Oh you have a…” Lando points at the corner of his lips. You wipe the same area in your face. “No, the other side.”

You wipe the other side, “Is it gone?”

“Allow me,” he says, standing up from his chair and leaning across the table to thumb the stain. 

“Is it gone?” you ask again. Lando nods.

“Yeah, it is.”

He goes back to his seat.

“Thank you,” you smile. “You're already doing great with the whole fake boyfriend act.”

A flustered smile splits Lando’s face, shaking his head.

“I try.”

“By the way,” you begin, leaning a little forward. “Did they also give you a folder with my information?”

Lando nods, “Yeah.”

“Did they also suck?”

He purses his lips.

“Well….” he drawls.

“You can tell me if it sucks. The one my manager gave me looks like it's copy-pasted from Wikipedia.”

Lando chuckles. 

“I mean, your biography is very…detailed? Too detailed, I think. I didn't remember most of them, sorry. I only remember a few of them. Like your birthday. January 1, 2000.”

“1999.”

“Pardon?”

You wave your hand in a theatrical flourish, “I was born in 1999. The company manipulated my public information.”

Lando’s brows raise in surprise.

“They do that?”

“You’ll be surprised,” you lean back into your chair.

“But why?”

“So every member in ORACLE can be born in 2000. I don't know,” you shrug your shoulders. 

“That seems like an unnecessary change.”

“It is,” you agree. “But HAN wants everything to be perfect. They see a flaw. They fix it to their liking immediately.”

“What are the other things that are a scam in your biography?”

“Scam is a big word,” you tell him, amused. “But I’ll tell you. In exchange, tell me about yourself. Not the info I can read in Wikipedia. In order to make this work, I have to know you.”

To be loved is to be known.

“Alright,” Lando says. “We can take turns asking each other questions.”

“Cool,” you bring a glass of water towards your lips, taking a sip. “I’ll start. How do you like your coffee?”

[xanticore]

𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑

Genre: fluff

Note: this is my first metallica fic so pleaseee keep that in mind. I hope whoever reads this enjoys.

Setting: late 90s ~ early 2000s..ish

Summary: Kirk is on tour and he decides to stop by the local guitar store. He ends up staying longer than expected when he overhears a riff that sounded impressive. Assuming it was a guy, but was taken aback when it was a girl...a girl who doesn't seem to know who he is.

It was the weekend and I was starting my weekend off, our next show being on Thursday and Friday of next week. This gave me time to myself to find local comic stores and guitar shops. I was honestly in my own little world as time passed by quickly; I didn't mind at all because I was going to do the whole process again on Sunday. I left the comic book store with a new manga and some new released volumes. All Junji Ito works, no surprise there.

The next stop of the day was the guitar shop. The air was cool and the store was just so fucking huge, It was heaven to me. The store had a variety of items. Vinlys, cassettes, cds, and even some band posters...but my main focus was the guitar wall. All different types of styles and colors, different collaborations of pop culture, anything you could think of-this store probably had it.

A guitar that has been newly stock was the black and red Les Paul. It looked so gothic and vampiric. Younger me was just screaming at me to get it...which It was my plan. I asked a worker to take it off the shelf so I could practice some riffs on it. Just as I imagine; it was a smooth and crisp sound. A sound I was looking feel and I probably would make this guitar debut when I head to Japan.

It was already 5 pm and James was just blowing up my phone. I forgot all about our band dinner. I sighed packing up my things and unhooked the guitar from the amp. On my way towards the front to ring up my guitar, I overheard a riff coming from a room that was being occupied. It looked like it was a guitar lesson in session.

I continued to listen and soon heard a solo. It was definitely in the metal genre. Whoever that dude was; shredding that guitar like it was the last thing on earth. It intimidated me how good it sounded. Almost making me jealous of how I didn't think to use this type of style in a song.

I heard them stop and minor shuffling going on in the room. I quickly walked away and acted like I was looking at the vinyls. I glanced over at the door and saw a tall beautiful girl. She nearly took my breath away. The way she played really matched her style of clothing. She was a goth but it was familiar style I've seen in Japan. Her hair was dyed a dark red and her make up was flawless.

I needed to compliment her and asked her about that solo of hers. I was stupidly stuck in my place but managed to get to her with a sudden boost of confidence. "H-Hey, nice guitar. I heard you playing in that room. You sounded amazing." I complimented her with a smile in admiration.

She smiled back and looked somewhat excited. Did she recognize me? Did she not expect a guitarist from the most known metal band of all time-

"Thank you so much! Are you also a fan of Malice Mizer? I was playing one of their songs."

"Malice Mizer? never heard of them.."

The girl frowned but soon lit up when she started to explain the band to me. "It's a rock band from Japan. Visual Kei style of music over there. I'm really into bands like X Japan and Dir En Grey."

I've never heard any X Japan songs but I definitely seen posters of them in Shibuya. I know they are well loved and idolized in the era of rock music over there.

"There's actually a Malice Mizer cassette next to you of their new album. You should buy it and give them a listen? They won't disappoint." She giggled. I eyed her movements when she moved closer to me, only to pick up the packaged cassette tape. The cover had a silver cross and the band's name in black in the middle. But enough about them, her little giggle was just so cute. If only I could hear that from her more often.

"I'm Kirk."

"(name)"

A beautiful name as well. I didn't want to add anymore details of my name because I knew it wouldn't matter and honestly...i'm really enjoying that. It felt more natural to speak with a non fan. Nothing was forced and she genuinely seemed to enjoy just talking about her favorite music; unlike some girls i'd meet at clubs.

"Well Kirk, I hope to see you around?"

I didn't say a word but I just nodded. I tried to stay positive but it was a pain I wasn't gonna see her again. I bought my guitar and cassette watching the cashier put it in a case. I left the store happy and somewhat sad, but, seeing that girl smile just brighten up my mood...

I hope to see her again.

a/n: so what we thinking?? yay or nay?

gif from: @ba11ltongue

dividers: cr to owners

[oh-saints]

You could write something like friends with benefits with Ruben Dias but he really falls in love w reader 😬 ? you can decide the rest just make it angst

you really can blame back to december (taylor's version) for this. who's ready?

saudade

(portugese) a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent; desiderium.

it was a word rúben only learnt in front of his oldest flame. his favourite flame. however, between the two of them, did time heal everything?

rúben dias x doctor!reader word count: 4.5k prompts: above + summer fling + @julianalvarez9's post here (sorry, girlie, gotta twist your idea a bit) tw: explicit foreplay but suggestive smut 👀 note: y'all can blame ms. swift's newly released album, okay? well, aside from the depressive mood lately and recent work stress, the particular song kickstarted me to write my arse off like i just broke up with my ex (when it's an old news already lol). but as usual, i happen to write this at dawn so not beta-read yet. song: back to december + all too well

“oh, there she is!”

oh for the love of god, you know you were late, okay? when you hadn’t stopped running back and forth for two consecutive days straight to save everyone and their mother’s lives, it was pretty understandable to take the chance of hibernating the first thing you had a day off, right?

“after an eon of disappearing,” the groom—your favourite cousin but god did he love basking attention—raised his glass towards you, and you could only smile his way through the gritted teeth. “I’m glad you decide to grace us with you presence, Your Majesty.”

but of course your family wouldn’t understand that, for they lived a totally different lifestyle to yours, despite begging you to enrol yourself to the most prestigious medical school. ironic now that they were the ones who always begged you to come home when you felt like you’ve moved to your home the moment you got accepted to the most reputable cardiology and cardiothoracic department in the country.

so you smiled wider—for the appearance, of course—but you said nothing back.

you were still regulating your breaths, palpable by your huffs and puffs as you took the empty seat—god if the bridezilla got mad because you took the wrong seat, you’d fight her because it was already a sacrifice on your end to drag your ass to this weekend full of wedding festivities—and before you could do anything else, a glass of water was shoved your way gently.

“you look like you need one.”

you were not surprised by the voice. he sounded like he looked like—rough, buff, strong, bulk. you were rather surprised at the small smile thrown your way when he handed you the crystal, filled with clear liquid.

oh, the choice of drink, too, by the way. in a weekend that would soon be filled with endless flow of champagne and other alcoholic and questionable options, he chose still water.

realising you were still eyeing the glass in his hand, his demeanour changed slightly. “not a fan of water?”

“I thought you’re kind of a beer guy.”

your response sent him into a laughing fit because honestly, rúben was expecting you to throw a flirty banter. with an evening gown that rocked a thigh slit as high as the bride’s ego, you looked more ready to have some fun from the get-go.

but the sound of that deep, masculine laugh did wonders to you. heat immediately run through your entire body, and you immediately knew you liked it more than you thought you should because you kept wanting more. more of his laugh, more of his voice, more of his smiles, more of his scent. more of him.

“it’s too early for that, no?”

with the way he lifted his eyebrows teasingly, you almost questioned your decision to become a doctor. you’d definitely been missing out this special specimen beside you, due to burying yourself in between your patients’ body—literally, in order to save their lives. you really need to go out more often.

or maybe, you need to step up the game while you can before hospital took your fair share of fun as soon as you landed back home. shivers ran down the underside of your arms at the last thought.

fuck it, then. if there was one thing hospital taught you the hard way, it was to might as well enjoy things while it lasted.

you grabbed the glass of water from his hands—his skin felt exactly like it seemed—before signalling for two flutes of champagne. the server went to grab your request as you shoo away your thirst with the water and then proceeded to down the champagne when the server was back in the vicinity, all while never straying your eyes from his. “in Italy, nothing’s too early, no?”

and that was another laugh you’d come to like. god, if coffee did no longer work on your bloodstream, someone should get her that as her daily fix of adrenaline dose before her night shift started.

the man in front of you took his portion of champagne and said his thanks, his eyes held yours like there was no tomorrow. despite the roughness in his facial features, stubbles and all, his smile was warm. and for you, the whole combination was what made your knees weak.

how could someone look so sexy and smug in all his friendliness?

“it’s rúben, by the way.”

with the small smirk slowly tugging the corner of his lips as he sipped the champagne, rúben should really consider himself lucky you didn’t jump on him and replaced the crystal flute under his lips instead.

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despite your initial dislike towards the bride—purely because you thought she had a severe princess disease—you tried so hard not to rain in her parade. no matter what, it was still her special day, probably one she’d been dreaming since she was a toddler.

also, have you mentioned that the groom was one of your favourite person on earth?

so you didn’t even dare to move anywhere outside the safe sanctuary of your table because you knew you’d be bombarded by the elders for how rarely you showed your face again in family functions like these, or for how you could not even show up with a boyfriend in tow. amongst the lineage, you were the only one left without a lover or some sort, but instead of draining your energy to explain how exhausting it was to live so that other people can live too, you stayed put.

that, and the fact that rúben provided 1001 reasons why you should stay behind with him. yes, sexiness aside, you found yourself able to converse so many things outside the medical jargons and it kind of made you miss it—the ordinary life everyone else was leading. you missed talking about the latest blockbuster movie, you even missed wearing something else than the hospital scrub and your favourite crocs for more than 10 hours straight.

you even missed the flirting phase, thanks to rúben’s impeccable ability to chime in some subtle but straightforward seduction. rúben himself already exuded some hotness, his laugh and words managed to shoot some warmth throughout your body, and the champagne tripled the heat all over you.

rúben was only downing another glass of negroni and you were only watching the liquid move from his mouth to his throat, but you needed to excuse yourself. your brain was no longer cooperating with every other organ intact to your body—you couldn’t shouldn’t think all of these forbidden thoughts inside of your mind because rúben had been nothing but a gentleman, yet you were the one who kept wanting to cross the line.

yes, rúben might’ve dropped some not-so discreet touches down your arms, on top of your knees, under your knees. yes, he twirled with your unkempt hair, tucked them behind your ears. but the groom used to do that all the time with you, just to tease you around, so what made this time different?

“I thought you hit the jackpot or something.”

and there was rúben again, his voice matched the concern written all over his face. even in times like this, when her inside was a mess all over, rúben managed to think of her well-being. damn it, he really made it so hard for you to contain the burning desire.

there, she said it. desire—a word so foreign in her dictionary recently, for she’d momentarily lost her want to study the human anatomy since the moment she walked into this party late.

“what, you’d run away or something if I did?”

despite you hyperventilating earlier, as you ran towards a balcony of this huge Italian castle looking for air, you were sure rúben couldn’t see a trace of it anymore. you were already sporting the provocating look you’d come to realise only come into the surface when stirred right—aka only rúben managed to do so by far.

and only rúben could take the outmost pride in enticing such vixen from her hiding place. you wouldn’t have braved the face to sport such dangerous dress if you didn’t have the energy in you, and he was more than glad you ended up taking your seat beside his, despite knowing you were supposed to be seated somewhere else later into the night, for he could satisfy himself with the sly and slightly naughty look you only threw his way whenever he wanted.

he’d be the worst liar on this planet if he said he wasn’t tempted to kill distance between your lips and his, so many times tonight. but his father taught him courtesy, and to do such radical act in a room full of other people’s guests would be an insolence and disrespect to the bride and groom.

but now that the matter of prying eyes was gone…

“I’d brush your teeth, of course,” a small gasp from you didn’t escape his ears. “what do you take me for?”

you smiled but you were shaking your head disapprovingly as you folded your arms in front of you. “when are you going to stop being a gentleman, rúben?”

“why should I?” the man stepped closer to you, and you wished he was still wearing the dark blue vest because you certainly couldn’t handle those specs ghosting behind the white shirt. “do you want me to be a bad guy?”

but you couldn’t also deny you’d want to see those chiselled chest. combined with that smirk and fascinating kind of mirth dancing in his eyes, would you be dead and sent to heaven? “can you?”

you were both now so close, rúben only needed to lift your chin towards his face to claim your lips. “oh, is that a challenge?”

he could easily did, by the way, with the way your lips were gaping as soon as he gripped his chin gently. but he decided to tease you more, as his nose reached down to touch yours while his body pushed you to the railing, giving him the excuse to catch your body in his arms.

your brain was now completely unwired, your limb was moving the way rúben orchestrated yourself like a maestro to his favourite instrument. all you remembered was to hold on to the back of rúben’s neck and the side of his strong arm, as he gathered you in his sturdy embrace, and chanting don’t fall, don’t fall to your now-airhead.

when he finally tipped your chin to his desired angle and your lips caressed one another, your breath turned shaky and it gave him an immense sense of pride. he’d been wanting to have this, dropping hints here and there so you’d let yourself free of expressing your inner self, because he knew you wanted the same thing too.

“what do you want?”

if anyone went wet at his usual voice, wait until you heard this version of rúben.

you could already feel yourself turning into a weak excuse of a puddle. your brain was melting, your inside was evaporating.

“tell me what do you want, baby, and I’ll give ‘em to you.”

it wasn’t that you were shy to voice them, but it was because you couldn’t find the words. funny how you could read endless words and medical jargons and yet, gone was everything inside and outside of yourself, including your so-called dignity you were often praised for when you were doing your rounds, when he dropped the word baby to call you with.

so you raised yourself on your tiptoes and pushed yourself towards him.

“uh, oh,” damn it, you forgot he was a footballer. he was paid to use his reflexes on weekly basis. avoiding your advances were nothing against his job. “words, baby.”

“you,” you managed to breathe out the simplest word you could find in the currently short-circuited brain of yours, but the very word seemed to please the man, whose smirk went wider oh-so sexily. “want you, rúben.”

if it wasn’t for the fireworks going off at the background five minutes later, rúben would’ve succeeded in making you fall apart in record time. but rúben didn’t know the word give up so while he kept to himself for the remaining of the night, he’d come looking after you as soon as the party ended and everyone went back to their respective suites.

you, too, certainly didn’t see this coming. but when rúben immediately kissed you senselessly as soon as you opened the door—well, as soon as he pushed you inside and opened your pathetic excuse of bathrobe, that is—you weren’t complaining. you even helped him shed the rest of your fabrics before unbuttoning all of his, all without separating yourself from him, because the last time you did, you never got the chance to chase your high.

“but, rúben, tomorrow’s the wedding!” you squealed as he lifted your body, your legs immediately locked your position against the large man, as he walked you both to your bed. “we’re so gonna be late, rúben.”

he was peppering your neck with kisses as he placed you down the mattress, rousing giggles from your end. “that will give them a story to tell, no?”

“you’re crazy—oh, oh,” the crispiness of your laughter was interrupted by the sensation of rúben’s tongue devilishly sucking your sensitive spot. “oh, fuck! fuck, rúben, fuck!”

if his tongue wasn’t twirling the bruising skin so well to soothe the pain, you’d smack the smile you felt against your skin. “well, they say that what happens in Italy, stays in Italy.”

“I think you’re mistaken for what happens in las vegas, stays in las vegas—oh, fuck, rúben…! don’t fucking stop.”

“is that so?” oh, how dare he stop?! you sat up when rúben halted the wet ministrations of his tongue against your breasts, about to protest the footballer, when he pinched your budding nipples. your head immediately fell back to the pillow, surrendering yourself instead. “can’t seem to remember. you keep distracting me, meu anjo.”

the sensation of his warm saliva against the coldness of his fingers’ pads were unlike no other that you mewled out the loudest moan you’d ever done. so disgusting you had to bring down his lips towards you to shut yourself up. “should we go to las vegas instead?”

“tonight?” rúben popped a now-hardened nipple of yours, and the sight was definitely something you could not erase from your memory. “I can call my plane.”

“don’t tempt me, rúben, because we know this weekend is going to be boring from the looks of it.”

“let’s bring las vegas to us, then.”

long story short, rúben brought you las vegas and its glory every chance he got during the weekend.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

“must we go back to reality tomorrow?”

the giant central back chuckled at your submission. you were tucked under his arms, your fingers were drawing air on his chest, and somehow he knew you were pouting as you did so. it never ceased his wonder how you could be a temptress for a minute, then turned into a cutie-patootie—your words, not his—the next second.

it never ceased his wonder too as to how you’d always spurt out the same question all over again, every weekend you both got the chance to escape reality, despite knowing the definite answer of yes, we all have a life to lead tomorrow from him.

many of your colleagues had inquired about your relationship with the familiar face they’d seen over the weekend on their TV screens, but you didn’t know what to answer them. you were texting and flirting all the time but you were certainly wasn’t dating. you had sex, and you happened to repeat them whenever things got tough for either of you.

it was starting to become a vicious cycle, you and him. it was an impending doom, escaping the harsh reality only to seek for harsh and explosive sex instead of facing them head first.

he should’ve said no to every of your calls, but you crying over another life you failed to save wasn’t something in his card to ignore.

you should’ve said no to every of his calls, purely because you knew you were another rebound or another anger fuck from the losing game, but you didn’t have the energy in you to think of any reason to say no, not when you’ve racked your brain to save the failing life of your patients.

you both became a constant fixture, the only thing guaranteed good, when all else failed in your respective lives.

including the romantic aspect of your life.

but how could it not fail when rúben always picked up your calls when you had a bad day—that bad that you didn’t have the energy to have sex with him? he’d listened to you crying before stopping yourself, he’d listened to the silent you gave him because you were processing things. he’d listened to them all before offering to pick you up from work, no matter how stupid it looked like for him to slide in his vehicle at 5 in the morning when he had to be back at the training centre at 9 sharp.

when he couldn’t be around when you were having a mental breakdance, rúben would send you and your team a mini buffet for your lunch so you could share happiness the same way you shared him your devastation. so you could be back on your feet in no time because time is of essence for your job, your patients need you to be strong and healthy so they too could do and feel the same.

rúben—bless him—even spared his time to visit your patients when december came around the corner. he’d cheered them up, like the way he always did around you and for you, and even gave the kids and their caretakers gifts so they didn’t feel bored spending the festive holiday at the hospital. the next week, he brought over his entire football team just because one of the elder patients said he was a fan of his team.

he did all that, like a true gentleman you’d met the first time at your cousin’s Italian wedding, only to drop you the biggest nuclear bomb right on top of your head, right on christmas eve.

it was a dinner hosted by one of his teammates. he’d asked you to come because he knew you didn’t prepare for any last minute plan when your surgery schedule fell through—the patient died before you could save her—and thought the merry atmosphere would turn your sour mood to a better one.

you, from the beginning, didn’t want to go because you didn’t feel like intruding. and maybe, you shouldn’t have come.

the host, rúben’s captain, asked what kind of relationship you both were having, just as you were about to call for the men to join the women in the kitchen because the food were all ready to be served by now. but you never joined either side because of rúben’s answer.

“I’m getting married,” you remembered vividly. “she was nothing but a good fuck.”

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

but that was—what, five years ago?

you’d moved on with life, and that included moving far away from home to london. you obtained your specialist degree and was now under the tutelage of the best cardiovascular professor in town. you were often credited as prof. nagelsmann’s golden child because of how much the professor adored you, for your vast knowledge and eagerness to learn, as well as your hardworking attitude.

if people knew that you were studying till you broke your neck and had constant nosebleed till exhaustion took over your body at first only to put your mind somewhere else…

well, they didn’t need to know that. people only needed to know that you lived and breathed for the hospital now, because you’d now come to terms that life and death was two of the things that you were sure of to happen. nothing else were as definite as those two.

well, maybe also the jinx when you stashed away your hospital scrub for ordinary clothing as you clocked out of your shift.

as soon as your junior called your name, just five steps beyond the hospital territory, not even your car in sight yet, you knew you had to go back inside and save your kdrama marathon for another time. “code blue?”

your junior nodded and immediately jumped to describe the dire emergency. you were also handed the patient’s medical record. “male, 35 years old with CoA[1]. his stent’s infected so we have to do replacement but his CT scan shows hemothorax[2] and raptured aorta as well.”

your legs wanted to give away when your eyes spotted the name.

it’s ivan dias.

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rúben couldn’t believe his eyes.

there you were, explaining the whole procedure his brother would be going through. clad in your hospital scrub with no make-up, you were still as beautiful as he’d remembered. not even signs of time grazing your skin, as if the cold temperature of the operating theatre froze away the concept of time from your face.

your natural look was what initially drew him into you. in a room full of people caking their faces in the latest make-up trend, you definitely stood out in his eyes. you even outshone everyone else, including the bride, if he was being honest. and when he found out you were more than a pretty face, it didn’t take him another minute to settle his decision to make you stay behind in the table with him, so no one else could take you far away from him.

possessive, people would say to him. a trait he thought he’d hated in everyone else, but a trait that turned out to be something that showed up only whenever you were concerned.

but god, did rúben want you. so bad he felt like he could kill anyone else who casted you a seductive glance, despite you not acknowledging them.

and it made him hate himself because he was turning to be everyone else he’d come to hate. he didn’t want to be selfish, he didn’t want to push everyone else for what he solely wanted. he didn’t want you all for himself—he shouldn’t want you all for himself.

you both were only friends after all.

at least, that was rúben used to think of. because who the hell listened to another person crying for hours, if not for friends? who the hell picked up another person at 5 in the morning, if not for friends? who the hell reminded another person to eat so they could take care of their patients, if not for friends?

so he did everything he could, including dating around till he painted the town as red as the possessiveness he wished to hide, in hope he could diminish this niggling feeling that was bothering him day and night. he sought help and read endless books, just so he could validate the peculiar emotions he was feeling, that only vanished when you were around.

but nothing satisfied him. nothing was the answer to his long-standing question. even when he decided to jump the big gun and got married with someone else that didn’t even understand a simple arithmetic question, rúben still felt the gnawing hole inside of him, that was still thirsty of something he didn’t know of.

the hole grew into a big, black, gaping hole as his marriage went on. the hole even swallowed the existence and the idea of the two of them, the couple that could perfectly plaster the covers of bridal vogue, into a mere memory, burned to ashes and blown to the sky.

even then, too, rúben only wanted to see you. because being around you always brought strange waves of calmness to him.

so he did, only to find you go off the grid for good. he’d asked for you to everyone he knew and everyone he thought could possibly knew of your existence, to no avail. he’d thought of going to your home and asked to your parents but he decided to go against it because he respected you and your decision—he always does from the first moment he met you.

he remembered he didn’t even want to touch you until you succumbed yourself entirely to his palm, and he promised you he’d do that and he intended to keep his end of words, be it when you were around or not. he could only pray to God to meet you again in due time and course, when you were ready to see him again.

but now… god, did he want to scream out loud in happiness. you were still as gentle as ever, having handled fragile lives in your hands of both the parents and the guardians. your voice still reminded him of an umbrella under a blazing hot day, as you elaborated ivan’s condition to his parents. your hands still reminded him of a silk handkerchief tucked properly under one’s suit, as you touched his parents in reassurance.

only then did he realise that this sharp feeling inside of him, only you could provoke such intense emotions like a dagger stab to his heart, was longing.

he’d longed to have you in his arms again, despite having you there all his previous times with you. he’d longed to have you around him again, despite being around you. no distance was still a distance per his standard. and he realised he’d made the biggest mistake by not proclaiming you when he had the chance.

fuck possessiveness, he wanted you back.

after all these years, he still wanted you so bad.

“I knew you’d succeed,” rúben sat down with two cans of your choice of beer. “I haven’t had the chance to congratulate you. congratulations, by the way.”

“thank you,” while you flashed him a smile, you smiled rather awkwardly and scooted further away from him. like you were scared of him. like a child was scared of what a stranger had in their hands. “i—”

he didn’t like that you were getting further away from his reach. he couldn’t launch his old moves on you again if you did. “I hope you still like Budweiser.”

“I do, but I’m sorry, do I know you?”

but it seemed like he’d lost you now, the way he’d lost you years ago.

[1] coarctation of aorta; a birth defect in the aorta, where it is far narrower than normal, blocking the blood flow to the body. on severe cases, it is so narrow that it can back up the blood flow to the left ventricle, forcing the muscle there to work twice as hard in order to distribute blood the way it’s supposed to be.

[2] hemothorax; a presence of blood is detected between the chest wall and the lungs. commonly, may be caused by blunt trauma or by complication of a disease.

[forjongseong]

medialuna // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader (part 12 of the series)

genre: office!au, fluff, smut (minors dni) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; mentions of anxiety, pregnancy; oral sex (m. receiving, f. receiving); unprotected sex; profanity; semi-public sex? (jay uses a sex toy on y/n); mentions of death; CEO!yn has a health scare towards the end // wc: ~11k

previous (and upcoming) chapters:

(check the whole masterlist here!)

summary: married life with Jay turns out to be even better than you can ever imagine, but work-life seems to be wearing the two of you out, and sometimes certain things do come when you least expect them.

author’s notes: he's back! and I'm back! welcome back!

I cannot believe the last sec!Jay episode was posted literally IN MAY 2023!!! I am so sorry! I had it all planned out... I was going to celebrate this series' first anniversary and have it end in the same month... and I swear I already started writing part 12 even before I released the last two minisodes, but then I got stuck for the longest time, and also busy, but now I am back, so here is part 12.

if you check the lyrics to this song that I used as a title you'll see why I used it. as always, if you find any typos or grammatical errors please message me!!

taglist: @thots4hee @jayked @end-hyphen @nyanggk @yoursjaeyun @maggstar @bucketofhiros @dimplejaehyuncutie @excusememissiloveyou @shinkenprincess-oh @mochimchimo @jongseonglogy

(send an ask if you want to be added or removed)

It was dark and cold when you opened your eyes. You blinked a couple of times before your gaze shifted to your right, and sure enough, you found his side empty. There was a lump in your throat, and somehow you felt parched. You touched your face only to feel dried tears staining your cheek.

After a couple more seconds, you started to panic, yanking the blanket away from your body and frantically searching for the only source of comfort that you had. The bathroom was empty, so you walked out of your bedroom and scanned the huge living room. You only found unpacked boxes and your sofa still wrapped in plastic, and even the lights in the kitchen were off.

Your hands began to tremble as you made your way to the center of the room. Your head began to spin, and your heartbeat gradually became faster as you tried and failed to gain enough consciousness so early in the morning. Your eyes flickered and you whispered to yourself.

“Phone.”

You went back to your bedroom and immediately grabbed your phone that you had placed on the end table since the night before. You unlocked it and somehow managed to feel even more let down at the lack of notifications. Just as you were about to lose it, you heard the door unlocking and the familiar sound of footsteps entering the house.

Jay was trying his best to make as little noise as possible, but when he saw you walking out of the bedroom, his eyes lit up. Once he registered what was going on though, from the expression on your face, he became worried.

“Hey,” he said softly, just seconds before you threw yourself into his embrace.

You began sobbing on his chest, drenching his shirt in your tears. Your hands were grabbing on the back of his shirt, and with every breath you took your shoulders shook with you. Jay enveloped you in his arms and started making shushing noise.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, squeezing your shoulders. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

Your cries did not seem to be stopping soon, and the sound of your wails created a huge lump in Jay’s throat too. His eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to pull you closer, resting his chin on the top of your head. He did not stop rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you, and once he heard you quieting down, he started speaking softly.

“Was it a bad dream?” he asked in the lowest voice he could muster.

You merely nodded your head, still burying it in the crook of his neck as you sniffled the tears.

“Were you looking for me?” Jay asked again. You nodded softer this time, and Jay felt horrible. “I’m sorry. I should have left a note or texted you. I didn’t think you would wake up so early. I think I spent way too much time at the gym too.”

You responded only with a sniffle, and you began to loosen the grip on his shirt. Jay immediately took one of your hands off his back and grabbed it tight.

“Here, let me look at you,” he said, trying to pry you away from his body.

You shook your head and hid your face on his chest again, refusing to make eye contact. Jay calmly opened your fist and made you palm his face.

“I’m right here,” he said, placing a hand over yours so you would stay cupping his face. “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head again, and Jay assumed that it meant he did not have to apologize. It was killing him the way you refused to look at him, though, but in reality, you were just embarrassed that you broke down over something so trivial.

Jay turned his face to kiss your palm, and the warmth surged through your whole body. You regained composure, and once you felt calmer, you tilted your face up, nudging your nose to his jawline. In an instant, Jay placed his hand on the back of your neck and pulled you into a kiss.

You kissed him desperately, like you had not seen him in years, and to him it felt like you were trying to breathe in the air inside his mouth. His lips gently danced with yours, stopping in between to let you breathe. His hand never left the back of your head, nor did his arm around your waist, and at that moment you were willing to give anything to make the time stop.

“I love you,” you said as you broke the kiss. Your voice came out as barely a whisper.

Jay nodded, brushing his nose with yours before kissing the corner of your lips softly. He trailed soft kisses from there up to your cheek before stopping on your earlobe. His hand moved up to stroke your hair, making you close your eyes as you listened to his raspy voice right in your ear.

“I love you more.”

---

Jake and Heeseung’s screams of frustration accompanied with Sunghoon’s victorious cackle made the whole room shake. You almost let a clean mug slip out of your hands from the shock, and Jay chuckled at the way you ever so slightly flinched. You looked over your shoulder and saw that the three guys were hunched together, while Isa and Yoon were sitting on the lounge chair across them, eyes glued to the TV.

“I’ll tell them to keep it down,” Jay said, closing in on you and pecking your cheek before he made his way to the living room.

Isa and Yoon’s eyes lit up the moment they saw the tray filled with cold drinks in Jay’s hand, and Sunghoon had to shout at Jake for almost knocking everything down from being so jumpy and chaotic. Heeseung cleared the table to help Jay set the tray down, and then each of them started asking questions about the drinks.

You joined them only after you replied to a couple of messages on your phone, and as you slipped your phone into your pocket you noticed that everyone was already holding their own beverages.

“An informal toast!” Yoon said, raising her glass of iced latte. “To the new house.”

“To the new couple, Mr. and Mrs. Park,” Jake joined in.

“And to Heeseung, for being one of the awardees of our company’s scholarship program,” you ended with a smile.

Heeseung’s jaw dropped, and his eyes widened. Jay was already chuckling, amused at the faces his friends were making.

“Are you serious?” Heeseung asked, looking at you. He then looked at Jay, then at you again.

“Congratulations, buddy,” Jay finally intercepted, nudging Heeseung’s arm with his elbow.

“Cheers!” Sunghoon shouted, surprisingly being the loudest of the group at that very moment.

Three people started talking at once, and you had to jump from one group to another to tend to all their questions.

“So, this housewarming is actually also like a mini wedding reception and like a congratulatory party too? Who is the main character of this party?” Isa asked you, genuinely confused.

“All of you guys, the invitees. And the house maybe,” you replied, smiling sweetly at Isa. “Thank you for coming, girls. I know that you don’t like it when I mix two different groups of friends.”

“That’s bulls, you always nail it when you intentionally introduce your friends to each other. Wasn’t that how we became a trio?” Yoon chimed in, not taking her eyes off her drink.

You continued to talk to the girls for a while until Jake interrupted, claiming that he needed to go to the bathroom, but Sunghoon was taking too long in the guest powder room. You calmly asked Jay to point out the bathroom in the main bedroom before you excused yourself to the kitchen to get a refill on the snacks and drinks.

Not long after, you heard the soft footsteps of Jake waddling towards you. You locked eyes with him, and he was making a concerned and rather uncomfortable face. You immediately started to frown before asking him.

“Is there a problem in the bathroom?” You asked, resting your hand on the counter.

Jake stood beside you and leaned in to be discreet. “You left your sex toy in the bathroom.”

“What?” You half-shouted, half-whispered. “What do you mean?”

“What’s going on here?”

Jay’s voice was calm, but he had it in that lower register that sort of just vibrated, and both you and Jake jumped a little in your places.

“Jake said there’s a sex toy in the bathroom,” you calmly reiterated.

“The fuck are you talking about?” Jay almost spat back in response. You snorted at his reply.

Jake looked at you apologetically before dragging Jay back into the bathroom. You made sure that the others were preoccupied before following the two of them. When you reached the bathroom, you heard Jay’s loud sigh.

“What?” Jake asked, holding up the ‘sex toy’ by its little handle.

Jay’s reaction immediately made sense. You started giggling softly, trying to suppress it from turning into a huge cackle.

“You think that’s a sex toy?” You asked. “That purple spiky-looking thing?”

“Yeah, what do you think we’re supposed to do with it?” Jay added.

Jake visibly cringed. “Ew? I don’t need to know what you two do behind closed doors. I’m just saying if you’re inviting people to your house maybe put away these types of stuff.”

You walked towards Jake, took the ‘sex toy’ from his hand and started pressing it onto his head.

“Noona!” Jake shrieked in horror.

“It’s a scalp massager, Jake! What, just because it’s made of silicone, you automatically assume it’s a sex toy?”

Jay was wheezing against the doorway, and you turned your head to him.

“Baby, don’t laugh like you didn’t think of the same thing when I first bought this.”

Jake’s initially embarrassed face was instantly replaced with relief. The two men then started laughing and yelling at each other while you shook your head and tidied up a little around the sink. When Jay brought up the idea of having a joint get-together of your friends and his, you did not expect it to be this chaotic, but you were glad that you agreed to it.

---

You walked out of your bedroom, one hand rubbing your eye as you tried to stifle back a yawn. The sound coming from the kitchen woke you up, since it was repetitive, and Jay did not seem like he was trying to be quiet. In his defense, he wanted you to know that he was there, so he made loud noises on purpose.

“There’s my beautiful wife,” Jay greeted you as soon as he caught you in his sight. He was doing the rest of last night’s dishes as he waited for breakfast to cook.

“Really?” You chuckled. “I have dried up drool on the corner of my mouth and my hair looks like a bird’s nest.”

“Signs of a good sleep then, that’s nice,” Jay replied nonchalantly. “That means last night I did tire you out, didn’t I?”

Holding back a smile would be useless as Jay was already looking at you with his signature smirk. A proud smirk, you thought. Last night was probably one of the best nights you had with Jay, if you could even list down your favorites.

You had been watching House of the Dragon for a while, and although Jay wasn’t the biggest fan of fantasy mixed with gore, he still sat with you through every episode. It melted your heart that every time a stomach-turning scene was about to come up, Jay would always lean into you and let you hide your face in the crook of his neck until the scene ends.

This time, though, the scene came on without warning and you both gasped loudly at the same time. Your mouth hung open and you knew Jay had the same face despite him rubbing his hand on your shoulder to console you. When the episode ended, you turned to look at him and he smiled apologetically.

“Sorry I wasn’t fast enough to catch that,” he said, pouting.

You quickly turned the TV off and moved to sit on his lap. You thanked him with your mouth, not with words but in a way that you were certain he would appreciate. After a hot minute of making out, you hopped off the sofa and kneeled in front of him, knowing how hard he had already become.

Jay grasped onto the throw pillows and blanket on the sofa as you gave him the suck of his life. He couldn’t stop moaning whenever his tip hit the back of your throat, and the view of him with his exposed and clenched jawline and his eyes rolled back just motivated you to go even harder. He thrusted his hips up and grabbed your arm, which you thought was a warning, so you calmly stroked his thigh until he came in your mouth.

You had to very carefully pull away to not let any of his cum drip to the floor. As you did so, a drop of it trickled down your chin and you swore Jay let out the shakiest breath ever. He sat up and wiped his thumb along your bottom lip, catching the remains and thrusting his thumb into your mouth, making you lick it dry. After that, he rested his hand behind your neck and pulled you into a deep kiss, tasting himself on your tongue.

“Bedroom?” He whispered after you pulled away to catch your breath.

You nodded enthusiastically and the next thing you remember was being naked with him on your new bed with brand new silk sheets. The feeling of the soft sheets contrasting with the way Jay was holding your hips made your heart beat a lot faster, and you desperately tried to slow things down as you took the lead, grinding your hips on his lap as he sat up with you, his cock twitching inside of you every time you clenched around him.

Your hands were touching him everywhere, his cheeks, his jaw, his neck, his shoulders, and as you mustered all the energy you had left to keep the pace, Jay kissed your chin before lifting you up and instantly switching your position. You were now lying on your back, and Jay held your legs spread open as he started to thrust into you faster than before. Your breath hitched and you grasped the sheets behind you, while Jay chased his own high and squeezed your boobs as he released his seed inside of you.

Your heavy breaths were now in sync, and you saw Jay panting, which was something that rarely happens. Usually, you were the only one out of breath, so you couldn’t help but form a small triumphant smile.

“How are we feeling?” you asked as Jay managed to maneuver you both, lying sideways and facing each other without him having to pull out of you.

Jay chuckled softly before kissing the tip of your nose. “I’m so beat right now, fuck.”

You laughed softly and started peppering kisses all over his face, loving the way his arms automatically wrapped around your waist.

“Wasn’t I the one that tired you out?” you said, snapping back to the present and trying to dismiss the image of last night. You did not need to get wet so early in the morning, not when Jay was making breakfast for you both.

“Alright,” Jay replied, wiping his hands on the apron he was wearing. “Let’s say we both did.”

You nodded once and let Jay get back to his thing. He had told you several times that he did not mind being the only one busy in the kitchen, and having you eat whatever he had prepped was rewarding enough.

For you, though, seeing him in the kitchen was a reward in itself, for Jay often cooked or cleaned with sleeveless shirts, or shirtless, or in a unique combination like right now.

“Is that apron really necessary when you’re shirtless like that?” You asked as you sat on the stool facing the counter. You placed your elbows on the counter and rested your chin on the back of your hands.

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something so why don’t you get to the point?” Jay asked back, smirking at you before diverting his attention back to the meal he was prepping.

“You look very fuckable, husband.”

Jay let out a breathy chuckle before turning around and serving you a plate of omelet with mushrooms and a small portion of salad. You looked at his plate and he had the exact same thing except with cherry tomatoes.

“As much as I’d like to have you for breakfast,” Jay began, “we have a very important meeting this morning and I need you to not skip a meal.”

“Fair,” you replied, smiling when Jay pecked your cheek. He took his apron off before sitting on the stool beside you. “This looks amazing. Thank you, baby.”

“Anything for my queen.”

---

The computer screen in front of you was already set to a dimmer light, but despite that it still hurt your eyes. You had already taken a power nap, finished a cup of iced latte, yet the drowsiness remained. You heard a knock on the door and waited for Jay to let himself in.

“The last meeting of the day is in fifteen, Boss,” Jay said as he walked to you, spinning a pen in his hand and having his iPad secured in his arms. “Still sleepy?”

“You know me best,” you answered, leaning back on your seat and stretching your arms as much as you could. You yawned and Jay had to look away to not catch it too. “I’ll just get cold water.”

Jay looked like he was contemplating something as he watched you walk to the mini bar. After a couple of seconds, he rushed out of the office and before you could even say a word, he returned less than a minute later, holding a small package in his hands.

“I was gonna wait until we got home, but…”

You eyed the box in his hand. He was already smiling at you.

“What do you have there?” you asked, almost too scared to find out the answer.

Jay peeped his head out your door, making sure none of your employees were around. He reckoned that Hwiyoung was on a coffee break, so he calmly closed your door before he made his way back to you.

“Don’t get mad at me, but I ordered this for funsies,” Jay said, giving the box to you.

“You open it.”

Jay sighed and shook his head, thinking that it had been years at this point of him taking orders from you, but he would still do it for another thousand years. He grabbed a pen from your desk and used the tip to break the seal, and within seconds you were looking at a sleek box with a vague image on top of it.

“Is it like a massager? That would make me even sleepier, Jay,” you complained before you could even see the actual item.

“Stay with me,” Jay replied calmly, completely unboxing the item.

It was a two-piece device, one remote and the other…

“It’s magnetic,” Jay explained. “You can clip this to the inside of your panties, and I’ll hold the remote. Wear it during the meeting so you can be alert at all times. When I catch you zoning out, be ready for it to vibrate.”

“You’re fucking joking,” you said, chuckling to yourself. “Right?”

“Baby, I’m very serious,” he replied in his actual serious voice. “When naps and caffeine don’t work, I had to get creative to find a solution.”

“This sounds like more fun for you,” you sighed, taking the device from his hands and examining it up close.

“Well, yes, but you’ll feel the pleasure.”

As you were holding the main device, Jay pressed the remote and it vibrated in your hand. You almost jolted from the shock and you both laughed out loud from your reaction. Jay quickly turned the device off and took it out of your hand.

“I understand if you don’t want to try it now. We can always do it some other time,” Jay said, turning his back to you and already packing the device back into its box.

You licked your lips before you made your decision. You took a step closer to Jay and held his wrist, stopping him.

“I’ll do it.”

---

During most meetings, your presence is usually needed to review your team’s ideas and give necessary feedback. This means that you rarely had to speak, and around eighty percent of the time you would always be listening to other people speak. When you’re sleepy and losing focus, this easy task could be particularly hard to follow.

You and Jay were sitting at the end of the table, the farthest from the whiteboard and the chairs where the speakers were gathered. The meeting room was large enough to have everyone sit with ample space between each other, making them have to lean in if they wanted to whisper a thought. You had both your hands clasped in front of your face, your lips touching your thumbs as you were listening to Keeho’s presentation.

Jay caught you slow blinking several times before you shut your eyes for more than two seconds. He reached into his pocket and pressed a button on the remote. Your body jolted awake, and to quickly hide the reaction you faked a sneeze.

“Bless you, Miss,” Keeho said without missing a beat before continuing to talk.

You side-eyed Jay and he immediately mouthed ‘sorry’ to you. He winked and took his hands out of his pocket, and you relaxed for a moment. The meeting carried on and you started making notes on your journal while waiting for the next speaker to set up. Jay then noticed that the movement of your pen paused, so he slid his hand into his pocket again and pressed the remote.

The shock you expressed this time was in the form of a slam on the table. Your team thought you were losing patience and they apologized to you in an instant, almost in unison. Jay had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from laughing, and once Beomgyu started his presentation, you lightly slapped Jay on his thigh.

You were now paying close attention to Beomgyu and you even commented on a few things, earning more comments from the rest of the team. While Yeji was telling you about her thoughts on one of your remarks, Jay pressed the button on the remote. You couldn’t hold back from letting out a moan this time, but you were quick to put a hand over your stomach.

“Sorry,” you quickly muttered. “That time of the month,” you continued, faking a smile.

“Oh, I can talk to you about this some other time, Miss,” Yeji replied, smiling back with concern. “Maybe Beomgyu could wrap up.”

As your team refocused their attention back to Beomgyu, you shot daggers at Jay with your eyes and a look that said, ‘what the fuck was that for?’. Jay only threw a smug smile as a response.

The meeting was eventually adjourned since it was getting late, and you had always been against your team working overtime unless it was absolutely necessary. That, and the fact that Jay could not stop pressing the remote and driving you crazy.

“You seem to be having way too much fun,” you said to him as you stared at the elevator waiting for it to arrive.

Jay stood proudly beside you, both his hands in his pocket and his head tilted up slightly. You had never seen him this cocky. The elevator then dinged and as you entered, you were relieved to find it empty. However, you heard several people talking and before you knew it, Yeji, Beomgyu, and Keeho joined in the elevator.

“Miss,” Keeho greeted you with a smile. “Going down?”

Beomgyu was about to press the lobby, but you shook your head and Jay cleared his throat.

“Back to the office, actually,” Jay clarified. “You guys can go home though.”

Beomgyu nodded and pressed the number to your floor. The three of them stood in front of you, talking to each other in whispers. The elevator ride down felt like it took so long, and it did not help that Jay pressed the remote in his pocket, again.

“Shit,” you muttered, leaning into Jay and grabbing his arm for support.

Jay’s cocky smile quickly shifted into fake concern once he noticed everyone looking at you.

“Are you okay, Miss?” Beomgyu asked.

“Miss, I have painkillers but they’re at my desk. I can go get it for you,” Yeji chimed in, reaching to touch your arm.

You merely grabbed onto Jay and squeezed his arm unnecessarily hard. Jay winced and chuckled to defuse the tension.

“I got it from here, guys. Thanks,” Jay smiled at them, putting his hand over yours and caressing you gently.

You arrived at your floor and as you exited the elevator with Jay, your employees waved at you still with concerned looks on their faces. As soon as the elevator door closed, you yanked your hands off Jay’s arm, and he cackled as he followed you back to the office.

You had dismissed Hwiyoung earlier, so you did not have to worry about any employees lingering around your office. You swung the door open and pulled the hair clip off your hair, throwing it haphazardly on your desk. Jay followed you and closed the door behind him before taking the remote out of his pocket.

“Mission accomplished?” Jay asked, dangling the remote in front of your face.

“Shut up.”

You threw your body towards him and he caught you in his arms, also catching your lips in his. The remote dropped from his hand and you continued to move closer to him, making him take several steps backwards until he hit a wall. Your hands were firmly cupping his face so you could dominate the kiss, but his hands were roaming freely all over your body.

“You made me all wet,” you whispered, kissing his cheek. “That wasn’t the goal.”

Jay smiled, pushing your skirt up your thighs and reaching for your panties to detach the device. “But what if it is?” he asked as he got rid of it. “What if the goal is exactly to make you wet?”

“Then you’re gonna have to clean up,” you muttered, pulling him by his tie and switching positions, making him cage you with his arms. “Be a good boy, will you?”

You placed both your hands on his shoulders and started pushing him down to his knees. The moment he realized what was going on, Jay chuckled and ran his hands down your sides as he went down. He even dragged your panties with the hook of his fingers and carefully took them off your feet.

He looked up at you with his gorgeous, gorgeous eyes and you took a deep breath before you witnessed his face disappearing under your skirt. You let out a soft whimper when you felt his plush lips kiss your folds, and it did not take long for him to completely devour you, making your lewd moans escape your lips. His hands were parked on your ass firmly, and you began slowly grinding your hips while you placed the back of your arm against your mouth to conceal the noises you were letting out.

Your other hand snaked down to the back of his head, and you tugged on his hair. Jay moaned into your cunt and kept his pace until he noticed your legs tensing up. The grip on his head became stronger as you reached your high, and he was moaning softly along with you, his voice muffled by your own heat.

Jay lifted his head up to look at you, and he was proud that the look of your fucked out face was the one to greet him. You looked at him and saw that his face was a mess, his drool mixed with your cum stained all over his mouth, so you calmly wiped his lips with your thumb.

“Stand up,” you whispered, licking your lips.

Jay did as you said and you greeted him with the softest kiss, feeling him melt into your touch.

“Do you think we can do that again?” Jay asked, brushing his nose against yours.

“Yes, but not in front of my employees,” you answered.

Jay chuckled and you smiled at him. “Out in public, maybe?”

“Sure,” you replied. “But only if you fuck my brains out afterwards.”

“Deal,” Jay said in a split second. “That’s an even bigger win for me.”

---

You were sitting on an outdoor lounge chair by the porch, legs up and facing the beach that was walking distance from the villa. On the coffee table was your laptop, showing several windows open as well as a pile of documents to its side with your sunglasses case acting as a paperweight. As you were reading a chat from your phone and crosschecking it with a document on your screen, you felt a soft tap on your arm.

“Auntie.”

You turned your head and smiled as soon as you saw Ayun.

“Can you brush my hair?” she asked politely, holding up a hairbrush with one hand.

“Of course, darling,” you replied, setting your phone on the table and patting your thighs. Ayun immediately climbed to sit on your lap.

From inside, Jay was prepping the ingredients for an early dinner, and he could see the porch from the huge window on the side of the kitchen. He paused cutting up the potatoes to watch your interaction with Ayun, and soon after, Seungho entered with a couple of snacks and drinks in his hands.

“In case you need refreshments,” your brother said, setting the snacks on the table and heading over to the fridge to store the drinks. “Whatchu got there?”

“Oh, uhm,” Jay stuttered at the sudden appearance of your brother. “Just Japanese-style curry, if that’s okay?”

Seungho chuckled. “What do you mean ‘if that’s okay’? You’re the chef here, we’re definitely just gonna eat what you make. Oh, by the way, Byunghee can’t handle spice.”

“Noted,” Jay replied. “I’ll have the chili flakes separated and served on the table later.”

“Awesome.” Seungho smiled and took a few steps closer to where Jay was standing. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can help you with? I mean, I did hear from my sister that you’re very much a lone chef…”

Jay nodded. “And she is right. I’ve got it covered. Thank you, though. And thanks for inviting us to stay for the weekend.”

Seungho smiled and waved his hand. “It’s nothing. I really wanted to spend more time with family, and I figured the only way to make my sister come down here to Jeju is to forcefully book her tickets and let her stay in this beach house—oh, my God that is adorable!”

Jay blinked and quickly joined Seungho looking out the window. You were holding up your phone, having it on selfie mode, while letting Ayun sing whatever song she was trying to belt out. Ayun was giggling because of the cat filter you had put on.

“For someone who says she doesn’t like children, she really is good with them,” Seungho said, sounding a little solemn.

“She is,” Jay responded, almost a whisper. He then cleared his voice and continued with the meal prep.

“I’m actually glad that we decided to adopt Ayun. I don’t know if my sister had told you, but initially we wanted to be child-free. Some time along the way I think our views both changed.”

Jay had to stop chopping a carrot to gather his thoughts and process Seungho’s words. “I think you both made a great decision. Ayun seems to be happy having two great dads.”

Seungho chuckled softly and smiled to himself. “Thanks for saying that. I’ll get out of your hair now.”

Just as Seungho reached the doorway, Byunghee appeared.

“Go get our daughter and play with her for a bit. I wanna talk to my sister,” Seungho said, placing a hand on Byunghee’s shoulder.

---

You were drying your hair in the bathroom when Jay entered after knocking on the door softly. He gave you the warmest smile and you noticed the hint of fatigue on his face.

“Ayun doesn’t seem to get tired easily, does she?” you asked knowingly.

Jay pouted and nodded, and his adorable expression made you laugh. He stood next to you, and you made room for him, scooting to the side so he could use the sink.

“I had a long talk with Seungho earlier,” you said as you watched him reach for the toothpaste. “He seems to be very proud of Ayun and is having a blast raising her with Byunghee.”

“I can see that,” Jay replied, his voice muffled by the toothbrush in his mouth. “And Ayun is such a nice little girl. I’m sure they’re doing something right.”

You nodded and fell silent as you put away the dryer and began organizing the skincare by the sink. Jay noticed your unusual behavior and quickly wrapped up brushing his teeth.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he said after rinsing his mouth one last time.

You tilted your head and hesitated for a second. “I know that we haven’t really talked about it before we got married, and that’s on me, but what are your thoughts about having children?”

Jay smiled at you softly and turned to face you. He began rubbing both your shoulders with his hands. “Is this what you talked about with your brother?”

“Answer the question, Jay.”

“Alright, Boss,” Jay chuckled, leaning in to peck your cheek. “It’s your body. If you want children, then I will be happy to have them with you. If you don’t, I respect that.”

“Are you being honest?” you retorted, furrowing your eyebrows.

“When have I ever lied to you, Y/N?”

You were about to list all the excuses he had given you before, but you realized all of it was to keep the proposal a surprise. Every little white lie he told you was a cover up that led to him proposing to you, so you couldn’t really count those.

“Really? Playing with Ayun all day didn’t make you feel some sort of spark?” you asked again, this time crossing your elbows in front of your chest.

“How about you?” Jay asked back. “You spent a lot of time with her today. Did it awaken something in you?”

“You always ask me back my questions without answering,” you pouted, shoving his hands away and turning away from him.

Jay smiled and looked at you through the reflection in the mirror. “If I don’t Uno-reverse you, how will I ever know what you really think? I can’t read minds, my love.”

You pouted even more and began leaning into Jay, throwing all your body weight on him. He responded by circling his arms around your waist, pulling you into a hug. You continued to look at each other through the reflection.

“I don’t like kids in general, but maybe I’d like them if they were ours?” you asked, unsure.

“If we had a mini-me and mini-you that would literally be the most adorable thing,” Jay agreed. “But again, it’s your body. I know the thought of pregnancy isn’t that dreamy to you, so we can consider adopting if you really want us to raise a child? We can follow in your brother’s footsteps.”

Hearing Jay’s suggestion, a smile creeped up on your face. You closed your eyes and tightened your arms around his body, nuzzling your face to his neck.

“I married the right man,” you mumbled, taking in his scent.

Jay smiled and moved his head to kiss your temple. “Aren’t you glad?”

You pinched Jay’s waist as a response to his remark and he winced before letting out a hearty laugh. Your nose brushed against his chin as you attempted to kiss his jawline.

“So, ultimately I get to decide because it’s my body, right?”

Jay hummed as he squeezed you tighter, trailing his hands down from your hips to your ass.

“There’s a part of me that’s yours too, though,” you whispered, resting your head on his shoulder and looking at him through his reflection again.

“Your heart?” Jay replied.

You let out a breathy chuckle as you shook your head. “God, you’re such a romantic.”

Confused, Jay pulled away from you to look you in the eyes. You grabbed his hand from behind your waist and guided his palm to touch you between your legs.

“Oooh,” Jay reacted, nodding his head. “I get it now.”

“Idiot,” you muttered, pulling his face in for a deep kiss.

Jay kissed you passionately, pressing his body onto yours until you had to arch your back, feeling his hands squeezing your ass. You held his face firmly, moving your lips in sync with his and letting your tongues dance together. He bit your lower lip gently and you chuckled softly.

“Minty,” you commented.

Jay smiled and pecked your cheek three times. “Better than morning breath, right?”

You grinned and shook your head as you took his hand in yours and led him to the bed. You sat down on the edge, and he watched as you began to undress, leaving nothing on your body. You then wondered why he was just standing there doing nothing.

“Baby?” you called. “What’s wrong?”

Jay shook his head, never taking his eyes off your body. “You’re just so beautiful.”

You scoffed. “You’ve seen me naked a million times…”

“Take the compliment, Y/N.”

The tone in the way he said your name made you visibly blush. You brought your hands up to cover your mouth because you did not want to let Jay see your stupid grin.

“And you’re a professional panty-dropper, Jay, so please just get naked with me.”

Jay laughed at your ridiculous remark, and you laughed with him, waiting patiently until he got rid of all his clothes. When he was finally naked, he lifted you up by your waist and you shrieked as he moved you to the center of the bed.

“Sssh!” Jay said in a hurry, bringing one hand to cover your mouth. “I think your brother is still awake.”

“Jay, we’re adults, they are adults, they know what we’re doing anyway.”

“Yeah,” Jay replied, his hand moving to caress your face. “But if I had a sister, I wouldn’t love it if I could hear her getting railed.”

You groaned in disgust and Jay just laughed, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Are we doing this or what?” you complained, lightly slapping his arm.

“Be quiet for me, okay?” Jay said as he began rubbing your waist.

“I thought you liked to hear me moan,” you complained, pouting.

Jay let out a moan of frustration and you chuckled before he silenced you by shutting your mouth with his. You both smiled into the kiss before you felt his hand squeezing your ass and moving down to spread your legs. The soft chuckles you let out turned into whimpers, and your body twitched whenever Jay put pressure on your folds with his fingers.

“Jay,” you called out breathlessly after minutes of him playing with your cunt. “I want you.”

He kissed your cheek and let his lips linger there for a moment before he whispered in your ear. “I know.”

Jay coated his fingers with your arousal and spread it all over his shaft. You licked your lips in anticipation as he aligned himself with you, and you took a deep breath as you felt him enter you. Your mouth hung open and your eyes closed, and as Jay began thrusting in and out of you, he intertwined his fingers with yours, placing your hand above your head.

He knew what he had to do to make you moan, he knew all the right buttons to push, so out of courtesy, tonight he took it agonizingly slow. Every deep and slow thrust he made only made your breath hitch, and the loudest sound you let out was a whimper. You felt his hand grab your thigh and you instantly wrapped your legs around his waist.

His chest was pressed onto yours, and the heat of his body was enveloping you and beginning to cloud your senses. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you whenever you clenched harder, and you were delighted to hear his soft little grunts by your ear when it happened. His arms flexed as he continued to hover on top of you, and you started to caress his shoulders to soothe him.

“I’m close, baby,” you whispered, grasping his shoulders.

“Cum for me first, love,” he replied, brushing your hair back.

Jay leaned into you and began sucking on your neck softly, knowing just the right thing to make you reach your high faster. He noticed your body tensing and he sucked harder, deciding not to worry about the mark that would be left on your skin. As you climaxed, you whined near his ear and he calmly shushed you, kissing your cheek.

“I love you,” he mumbled, lips brushing yours. “So much.”

You felt him release his seed inside of you and you hooked your feet together, pushing his body even closer to yours. His hips rutted and he groaned softly into your ear, so you brought your hands up and entangled your fingers in his hair. Jay licked his lips before he pushed himself up to get a look at your face.

“I love you,” you mouthed, smiling when he leaned in to kiss your lips.

Jay smiled and carefully pulled out of you. When he moved to the side, he placed one hand over your core, and as he felt his cum dripping out of you, he slid a finger over it and stuffed it back into your cunt. You almost hissed at the feeling, grabbing onto his shoulder again.

“Wouldn’t want to waste a single drop,” Jay whispered, kissing your chin. “Also, I don’t want to dirty these expensive looking sheets.”

You laughed but it came out as a snort, and Jay found it hilarious that his body began to shake with the silent laugh that he let out.

“Not too loud!” Jay half-whispered, half-shouted.

“At this point my brother is going to think we’re just watching Netflix in bed,” you whispered back.

“That might seem like a better option,” Jay replied, bringing his hand back to your waist and squeezing it softly. “Do you need another shower?”

You shook your head. “I kind of like the feeling of being sweaty after having sex with you.”

Jay smiled, proudly. “Good. Me too.”

---

The ride to the office was quiet since both you and Jay were busy with your own gadgets. Jay was reviewing a presentation that he had made, while you were checking unread messages on your phone. Your hand stopped scrolling once you read a status from an old friend, and you immediately set your phone gently on your lap and brought one hand to cover your mouth.

“Is something wrong?” Jay asked, noticing the shift in your gestures.

“An old friend from college passed away,” you muttered, moving your hand to massage your temple. “I knew that she was sick, but I haven’t checked on her over a month.”

Jay deemed that the situation was too delicate for him to even comment, so he set his iPad down and grabbed your hand. He held you tightly, intertwining your fingers and caressing your hand with his thumb. Once you adjusted your seat and took a deep breath, he looked at you carefully before he spoke.

“If you wish to visit her family, I can cover for you,” Jay said, looking at the road ahead.

“It’s all the way in Busan,” you replied, already sounding so defeated.

“I’ll book you a flight.” Jay squeezed your hand before letting go. “We’re here. I’ll ask Hwiyoung to sit in for the meeting while I handle the rest of it.”

“I’ll be on standby, Miss,” Mr. Lee chimed in, smiling at you through the rearview mirror.

You sat still in your seat as Jay grabbed his bag and opened the door. Mr. Lee even turned around slightly to look at you both.

“I got this, Y/N.” Jay leaned into you and kissed your cheek. “Mr. Lee, if you don’t mind would you kindly drive her back home so she can pack? I’ll text you the details of the flight later.”

Mr. Lee nodded and waited for Jay to close the door. He then rolled down the window for you and Jay bent over to look at you. You had tears welling up in your eyes and you could only mouth ‘thank you’ to him. He smiled at you and blew you a kiss before standing up straight and turning around.

---

The day went by in a flash. You arrived just in time for your friend’s funeral, and you were glad that you chose to wear all black when you were getting dressed earlier in the morning. After giving your condolences to the family, you had to stick around for a meal and ended up meeting other friends that you met back in college. The brief catch-up was quite pleasant, but you left with a heavy heart.

Jay decided to pick you up from the airport himself, since you insisted on flying back the same night instead of the next morning. You did not have to wait long until your car pulled up, and when you hopped in, Jay leaned over to place a soft kiss on your cheek. He let you both sit in silence, knowing that it wasn’t the right time to be asking you a bunch of questions. At almost every red light, when Jay’s hand was idle, you intertwined your fingers with his and he gave you a reassuring squeeze before the light turned green again.

When you arrived home, Jay quietly took your bag and your jacket and waited for you to walk ahead of him towards the house. He began tidying up a little as he let you unwind and do your own thing, and he turned on the jazz instrumental playlist that you had displayed on the TV. You checked on him once in a while as you took your make up off and undressed to get into the shower, and you saw him cozied up on the sofa with a book. You had no idea that the respectful silence he gave you would make you feel comforted and guilty at the same time.

You still had a towel wrapped around your head as you walked towards him in your new silk pajama set. He looked up from his book, and before he could say anything, you spoke first.

“Namjoon was there.”

You noticed the subtle shift of emotion in his eyes before he straightened his position and made room for you to sit.

“My friend,” you began, “may she rest in peace, was the one who introduced me to him, so it would be weird if he wasn’t there.”

Jay looked at you and found you staring blankly at the coffee table in front of you.

“Everyone else was there too. Some I haven’t seen in years, and they thought that Namjoon and I were still a thing.”

You could hear rustling beside you and you noticed that Jay was quietly putting his book away.

“We talked a lot, all of us. And just the two of us too. It was nothing important…”

You began to realize that Jay had been quiet for longer than usual, and it had never happened before, so you stopped mid-sentence.

“Please say something,” you whispered, almost to yourself.

Without a word, Jay moved closer to you and pulled you into his embrace. You cried, staining his shirt with your tears, and as you were shaking in his arms, he tried his best to console you with his warmth. He rubbed his hands along your arms and your back while he repeatedly whispered ‘it’s okay’ into your ear.

“You’ve had a long day,” he finally said, pulling away from you. “You need to get some rest.”

“You’re not mad?” You asked, eyes still teary yet beaming at him.

“Why would I be?” Jay replied, wiping his thumb along your cheek. “Go to bed, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

You nodded and let Jay help you stand up before you turned and headed towards the bedroom. After getting rid of your towel and sliding underneath the blanket, you realized that Jay was probably going to take some time to wash up, so you decided to go on your phone and backtrack the chats and interactions that you had with your friend.

First, you went to your phone’s gallery, but you could barely find any pictures of the two of you, so you went to your cloud storage to dig for pictures dating back to more than a decade ago. You found screenshots of your chats with her, and you made yourself laugh as you reread the chaotic conversations you used to have. Your weak smile was instantly replaced with faint sobs as you let the thought sink in—that you were never going to have a chat with your friend again.

You almost jumped from the bed when you felt Jay’s arms sneak around your waist. With one hand, he gently took your phone away from you, setting it on the end table. He then pulled you into his arms, caging you completely. You could not muster a word out of your mouth, so you brought one of his hands to your lips and kissed it, leaving a tear-stained mark on the back of his hand.

---

You woke up to complete silence. The sun was already shining brightly, and you did not have to squint since the curtains in your bedroom were left closed. It took you a couple of seconds to register the faint noise in the background, seemingly coming from the kitchen. As you turned to look at Jay’s side of the bed, you found it empty, and you saw a note sitting on top of his pillow.

“Be ready for breakfast once you wake up,” it said.

Smiling to yourself, you shoved your blanket away and went straight to the bathroom to wash up. All you did was brush your teeth and wash your face and put on the quick version of your morning skincare routine. You changed into a new crop tee but left your pajama pants on, thinking that you look pretty enough from your torso and up.

Your slippers made a muffled sound and as you reached the kitchen, Jay turned around to face you. He gave you a big smile before plating the pancakes he just made on a plate for the both of you. You chuckled when you saw your plate with perfectly stacked pancakes and garnish that was obviously carefully put, while Jay’s plate had three stacks of pancakes that almost looked like the leaning tower of Pisa with the fruits haphazardly spread around the edges.

“Perfect timing,” Jay said, wiping his hands with a tea towel before taking his apron off. “Good morning, my love.”

You walked towards the counter but completely ignored the breakfast. Instead, you took a couple more steps to reach your husband and threw yourself into his arms.

“It’s always a good morning if I wake up to the sound of you,” you murmured, lips touching his neck. You could hear him chuckle softly.

“I’ve trained myself to be only slightly noisy if I wake up before you,” Jay replied. “Now let’s dig in.”

You shook your head, bumping it with his shoulder. Jay had to take a step back to look at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” You asked, tilting your head.

Jay smiled before pecking your lips. “Even if you don’t tell me, I already know.”

You hummed as you let him pepper soft kisses all over your face. “So can I still show you even if I don’t tell you?”

Now it was Jay who was tilting his head. “What do you mean?”

You sighed and shook your head gently. Then you placed a hand to cup Jay’s face and kissed him on the chin. “Take the hint, Jay.”

“Uhm,” Jay gulped. His eyes fluttered shut as he felt your lips trailing wet kisses along his jawline. “Okay.”

You both laughed at his awkward response but then Jay quickly silenced you with his lips. The way he kissed you with force made you arch your back, almost losing balance, but his arm was firmly wrapped around your waist. With every aggressive kiss that landed on your face, he took a step forward until he cornered you to the counter.

“Thank God our kitchen is huge,” Jay whispered, picking you up by your waist and making you sit on the counter.

You giggled and nodded, resting your arms on his shoulders. He stood between your legs and stared at you for a while, eventually making you blush and look away.

“My gorgeous, gorgeous wife,” he said, cupping your face and turning your head to face him again. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I could ask myself the same thing,” you replied. You did not blink as you grazed your lips along his.

When Jay latched his mouth onto yours, your hands immediately slid down his biceps and made their way to his abs, lingering for a second before you slipped one hand into his pants. He gasped slightly against your lips as he felt your fingers wrap around his hardened length.

“Good morning to you, Sir.”

Jay almost snorted at your remark, but he quickly set the mood again by resting the palms of his hands on your ass and squeezing them. You yelped at the gesture and buried your face in his neck to laugh wholeheartedly. Jay managed to find his way back to your lips, kissing you endlessly, passionately, like you were the only thing he needed to breathe in.

Everything else went by so fast but so slow at the same time, you felt. In mere seconds, Jay got rid of his pants and yours too, and the next thing you remember was him thrusting into you at a frustratingly slow pace. You wanted him to go fast, but you also wanted to savor every moment. You wanted him to go hard, but you also wanted to feel every part of your skin light up whenever he touched you, or whenever he twitched inside of you.

Jay kept the slow pace as he rested his forehead against yours. He was breathing through his mouth, and you could feel the air around you turn into his scent. His sweat trickled down his face, and you caressed his cheek and rested your hand there, closing your eyes while you bask in the feeling of being completely enveloped in his warmth.

Your moans were repetitive in his ear, but there was no sound that he wanted to hear more. The way you grabbed on his shirt and bunched the fabric in your fist just made him want to thrust into you more, to be deep inside you even more. He placed a hand on the small of your back, gently pushing you more towards him, and you wrapped your legs around his waist and latched your feet together, locking him in.

“Jay,” you whimpered, slowly losing your breath.

“I got you, baby,” Jay replied, kissing the back of your ear.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and felt him rut his hips into yours, and seconds later you felt the warmth of his cum coat your insides. Jay tilted his head to kiss your neck and suck your soft skin a little more intensely, sending you to your own high too.

You both stayed in the same position, panting almost in unison. When you felt him starting to pull away, you placed a hand on his back.

“Stay,” you whispered. “For a bit.”

Jay adjusted his position and placed his palms on the counter, lifting his head to look at you. His smile looked tired, so you gently caressed his face and brushed his hair back.

“Jay,” you began speaking in the softest voice you could muster. You saw his eyes lock with yours. “I need you to know that I’m yours. Heart, body, mind, and soul.”

Your statement was merely met with a blink of his eyes, so you decided to elaborate.

“I know I might not say it as much as you do, but I truly love you. And I might not show it in the same way as you do, and I don’t know why, but I try to, and…”

Your sentence was put to a halt because of your sealed lips. Jay pulled back from your lips with a smack.

“I know,” he said. “Believe me, I do. So don’t you worry.”

You had to fight back tears from streaming down your face again, so you pulled him into another hug. He took in your scent and breathed against your shoulder.

“I’m yours too,” he mumbled. “Completely.”

---

The next months, you swore, went by in the blink of an eye. The last quarter of the year was always the busiest period for almost any company, and it included yours. You were having back-to-back meetings, flights to cities you had never been before, and you also had to supervise a new group of interns that your staff had hired.

Jay was surely the most valuable person through it all. He always made sure you were taken care of, both at the office and at home. He also kept a close monitor of his own health, claiming that he could not take care of you if he was not in his best condition. He would forget small things occasionally, but you never gave him hell for it.

You found yourself more accommodating as well, saying yes to almost everything he suggests related to your best interest. You had been having fewer arguments, but more comfortable silences. All in all, the hustle and bustle of your daily lives somehow made your relationship even better.

Until that one fateful day, where you had to attend an important meeting that clashed with another scheduled meeting in your office. After a slight panic in rearranging things, you decided to delegate Jay to the meeting outside so you can handle the one in your building. Luckily, Yeji was right by your side to take over Jay’s usual position.

You were feeling off from the minute you woke up, but you tried your best to hide it because it was an important day. Jay had even more things to worry about too, so he wasn’t exactly as attentive as other days. In fact, you managed to breathe a sigh of relief the moment he told you he was leaving for the meeting.

The sharp stabbing feeling on top of your left eye did not wear off as you tried your best to focus on the presentation. Yeji glanced at you whenever you brought a hand to touch your forehead, and eventually you did it so many times that she just had to ask.

“Are you alright, Miss?” She leaned into you, trying to keep her voice low.

You nodded gently. “I think I need to use the restroom.”

The large meeting room was on the floor above your office, so it would take too long if you used your private bathroom. You turned your heels towards the women’s restroom, gently letting the door go and close behind you.

It took a while for Yeji to notice that you were taking a bit too long. She only noticed after the other attendees started getting restless because they expected to hear direct feedback from you. Yeji then quickly stood up and excused herself to go fetch you from the bathroom.

“Miss?” She called, pushing the door open.

You had your head down facing the sink, and your hands were grasping the edge of the counter so hard that your knuckles were turning white.

“Miss?” Yeji started to sound worried. “Miss, are you—”

Your hand slipped and you almost hit your head on the floor as you slowly slumped, but you could hear Yeji’s breath hitch as she desperately tried to reach you before you could hurt yourself.

“Miss!”

You were losing your vision, but you felt your head resting on Yeji’s lap. You heard Yeji saying that your lips were so pale and your hands were cold as ice. In the midst of her panic, and feeling her body rustle under you as she reached for her phone in her pocket, you could feel your consciousness slipping away.

“Park, please,” Yeji said into the phone, almost breaking into a sob. “She’s about to faint.”

You could hear Jay’s faint sound through the phone, asking about your location, and the next thing you knew everything was black for a short moment. When you opened your eyes again, Yeji’s lap was replaced by Jay’s, and before you could register anything else, you threw up all over his chest.

“It’s okay,” Jay muttered despite being worried sick himself. “I’m here, just let it out.”

You blinked several times and saw Yeji holding her phone and furiously typing on it as she stood by the entrance, also holding the restroom door open with her body. You looked up at Jay and you had never seen the type of expression he was wearing on his face.

He brought up one hand to your face to wipe the vomit off your chin, but he was clearly trembling. “Yeji,” he said before clearing his throat. “Medic?”

“On their way,” Yeji replied in an instant. “Should I—”

“I’ll carry her down,” Jay said, carelessly wiping his shirt with a paper towel that Yeji gave him.

“I’ll come with you,” she said after she was done typing on her phone.

Jay was now rushing, seeing that you had closed your eyes again. “Stay back and notify the people at the meeting,” he said, grunting as he picked you up in his arms. “In both meetings, actually. I had to leave mine too. I’ll meet you in the hospital.”

Yeji nodded and held the door open as wide as possible to let Jay pass with you in his arms.

---

The consistent sound of the repetitive beep on your left was what made you wake up. You blinked and looked to your side, only to find Yeji’s eyes widening as she slowly stood up.

“Miss,” she said softly. “Stay here, I’ll go get a doctor and find Park, okay?”

You gave her a faint smile and then chuckled to yourself. It wasn’t like you could move anyway. You had an IV drip inserted into your hand and your body still felt heavy. You stared at the ceiling for a while and then noticed that the walls were painted a nice shade of ivory, and a moment later you heard the sound of footsteps rushing towards the door.

Jay entered first, locking eyes with you instantly as he made his way to your side. He took your free hand and made you cup his face. He still looked worried, and you couldn’t tell if the sparkle in his eyes were tears that he was holding back or the reflection of the lights.

You were so focused on Jay that you didn’t notice the doctor speaking to Yeji on the other side of the bed. Their muffled voices slowly became clearer to you, and you were able to make out the last part of her sentence.

“…at least until the baby comes,” you heard her say, clutching the stethoscope around her neck.

You turned to look at Yeji’s direction and you felt Jay’s hand squeeze yours gently. “What?” You asked, the only word you managed to let out.

Yeji covered her wide smile with both her hands and looked at both you and Jay. There was a brief exchange of glances before Yeji and the doctor excused themselves, leaving you and Jay alone.

“You knew?” You asked Jay, watching him get comfortable as he leaned on the bed closer to you.

“I did have a short conversation with the doctor before you woke up. Before that, I didn’t. I’m sorry I didn’t notice the signs, my love.”

Your eyebrows began to furrow, and the grip you had on Jay’s hand began to loosen. Jay quickly reached for your hand with both of his, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.

“It’ll be okay,” Jay said. “We’ve got this.”

“It’s not what we planned,” you croaked. You could already feel the tears welling up again. In all honesty, you were not sure how to feel.

“We can adapt,” Jay replied. “It’s what we do best.”

You watched as Jay lifted your hand and gently brought it to his lips, kissing your hand and lingering for a while as he closed his eyes. You felt his breath on your skin, the warmth of his hands, and as he opened his eyes you knew he was happy, and that was why his eyes sparkled.

Trying your best, you reached out both arms towards him and he immediately scooted closer, helping you sit up to properly embrace you. You sobbed softly as you rested your head on his shoulder, and he calmly rubbed your back and your sides as he showered you with words of affirmation.

Once he was certain you had calmed down, he pulled away and kept his hands on your shoulders.

“Alright, love?” He asked, bringing his hand to your chin to tilt it up.

“Your shirt smells like vomit,” you replied weakly before turning your frown into a smile.

Jay chuckled silently and moved closer to leave a kiss on your forehead, and in that instant, you felt a thousand times better.

-END-

© forjongseong 2024, all rights reserved

SECRETARY!JAY will return…

[nadas-dirthalen]

A Veilguard Achievement Icon Opened My Eyes on 15 Years of Lore... but Was I Right?

PART ONE: Rambling First Impressions & Overview

[ 2 ]

Hello again, friends and travellers. Now that I've beaten Dragon Age: the Veilguard, I wanted to go through all those 30,000 words of predictions that I wrote in the ~11 days leading up to its release. I'd seen an achievement icon that pieced together a lot of Dragon Age lore for me.

But, I hadn't played Veilguard. All I had was the footage from September 19, the achievement list, and anything else BioWare had released.

So... was I right? And if so, how much was I right about?

This is your warning: This post will contain spoilers for the entirety of Dragon Age: the Veilguard, and all Dragon Age content made before Veilguard.

(no, this screenshot isn't a spoiler, I just like it.)

Welcome Back for Round Two. >:)

Stating right off the bat: I have only played Dragon Age: the Veilguard 1.5 times and so this collection is very, very incomplete. There's no way for me to learn every codex before they're even all on the wiki. If I've missed something, let me know!!

I don't know how many parts this is going to have. This has been a very fun, but very sleep-deprived week. Expect no sensible organization here; we're letting the ADHD reign!

That said, here's what I'm going to attempt to do:

A Recap of My Grand Theory: Solas was the Blight's Beginning, and Mythal was Responsible

How I Made My Predictions: A Study in Context and Pattern Recognition

What Did I Actually Get Right? (An Overview, Anyway)

Early Signs Veilguard Added to My Theories

A Recap of My Grand Theory: Solas was the Blight's Beginning, and Mythal was Responsible

I really don't have space to go in depth on what amounted to 30,000 words of theorycrafting (which still boggles my mind, how did I do that and still find time to sleep). Instead, I'll link every post and make a bullet point list of what big guesses I made in each.

Part One: Solas was created from spirit and lyrium, crafted in one of Mythal's lyrium coffins that we see both in the Temple of Solasan and Trespasser. That means that some part of him was part of a Titan, once. There were hints about this across all three preceding games, and these hints re-contextualize those games and their place in the Dragon Age narrative. The Titans are likely the Forgotten Ones, because Fen'Harel walked among both the Forgotten Ones and the Evanuris in his legends.

Part Two: The Mythal lullaby in Trespasser is the story of Solas' creation, specifically. Da'durgen'lin refers to 'little stone boy.' Solas' twice-used phrase Ar dirthan'as ir elgara, ma sula e'var vhenan is him speaking to lyrium itself, which he does both with Sera (ancient elvhen? andruil memory? people go into more depth on this than I ever do) and the Eye of Kethisca. Elven phrases and pieces of writing/song from everywhere point to Solas' backstory and are all possibly written/sung by Solas. The codices in the Temple of Solasan are also referencing his backstory. There is a larger narrative at work happening in the random elven literature we find, and it suggests a lot of things about the world.

Part Three: The Titans are definitely the Forgotten Ones—at least, part of them (more on that later). They have all been sundered. One part remains in the Abyss; the other in the Fade. The Fade, in fact, is every Titan's consciousness, all sundered by Fen'Harel. This is the "leg" that the wolf chewed off to "escape the trap": Solas' connection to ir sa tel'nal, isatunoll. This is why he loves the Fade: he's reconnecting with the consciousness he broke himself apart from. This is also why he has Titan/Stone magic. This is also why lyrium grows both in the Abyss and in the Fade.

• Oh, and spirits seem like they might be the thoughts of Titans.

Part Four: The Chant of Light tells the story of the Evanuris, from their manifestation as spirits to their mining of lyrium and war with the Titans to the Makers' creation of "everyone else." The archdemons and Magisters Sidereal are also explained in its verses. The Chant also suggests the Maker is a Titan whose mind and body are sundered, and that Andraste's hearing the "voice of the Maker" is her hearing the Titan's song.

Part Five: The tragedy of the Evanuris, part 1/3: Mythal is known to have mined people from lyrium. Elgar'nan probably sundered spirits, notably Dirthamen and Falon'Din. Falon'Din seems to have wanted to attack Titans that "belonged" to other Evanuris to gain more "worshippers" (lyrium people; slaves) for himself.

Part Six: The tragedy of the Evanuris, part 2/3: Sylaise probably made the Scaled Ones. June probably is responsible for not just lots of inventions, but the invention of the geas. Dirthamen's "secrets" are "thoughts" (spirits) forced into the bodies of his worshippers... and animals... and trees (AKA, he made a lot of abominations).

Part Seven: The tragedy of the Evanuris, part 3/3: the blight seems to be the Titans' defence against repeated attacks. Crucially, all of the Evanuris made the Titans this way... but Mythal made them that way first. The reason the Titans are "forgotten" now is because Mythal tried to erase all memory of them so that none would find the blight again. (She failed. Thanks, Andruil and Ghilan'nain).

Part Eight: The story of Solas, part 1/3: Solas came from an un-sundered world where both "mage magic" and "Stone magic" were the same thing. He was created in the Temple of Solasan, where "icy terror" became the first blighted Titan. Solas' existence was significant to the Evanuris because it suggested that one can survive the blight, and his moniker (the Dread Wolf) comes from the fact that he was a wolf (elven general) that came from the terror Titan (dread).

Part Nine: Since Solas' origin story is the start of the blight, then all of Solas' story from that point is not the story of just him, but the story of the blight. This signifies his place in Dragon Age's entire narrative, and also spells out what the overarching Point™ of the series is. Backed into a proverbial corner where none of the Evanuris would stop the things that angered the Titans, Solas' only choice was to sunder the Titans from their consciousness. He misses the Stone, also.

• He also imprisoned the Evanuris in Stone, something called "gangue" in Hissing Wastes codices.

• His ultimate goal is to return consciousness to the Titans, fixing the "wound" he made when the Veil went up.

Part Ten: The Inquisitor is special because their spirit is from the same Titan as Solas. The Breach is a threat because if the Veil comes down too soon, all the Titans will come back blighted and angry. The Veil disintegrating means all the Titans are waking anyway, little by little. The Dread Wolf shape is actually an aspect of Terror that can kill people with fear. The Evanuris who've been killed before have potentially had their spirits "recycled" and might be reincarnating into mortal people now. Oh, and a bunch of predictions on the companions, Solas/Mythal, etc, that I'll go over again down below.

How I Made My Predictions: A Study in Context and Pattern Recognition

I've had a lot of people ask how I... y'know. Did that. How one person could write 30,000 words of guesses in the week and a half before Veilguard, citing so many sources, and... not be that far off, probably.

Honestly the short version of this is, "I read the Chant of Light as it appears in World of Thedas, not with the canticles out of order like they are on the wiki, has anyone else done that?"

The longer version of this sounds even shorter, at first: I started playing Dragon Age games in March 2024, and I have ADHD.

Oh, and I'm a writer who's always been interested in game development, with dreams of maybe one day working in games or on video game IP. That helps shape my understanding of what games might need to accomplish, narratively, and the mechanisms they might use to accomplish those goals.

I was able to play all three games this summer. In fact, I finished Inquisition for the first time after Veilguard's first trailers this year, on June 26. What that means is that my first real experiences learning the finer lore of Dragon Age were all this year, and had the context of Veilguard's trailers. We knew we were getting a narrative followup to Trespasser, and so where did I center my focus? Trespasser. Everything I learned about Thedas, I tried to make sense in the context of Trespasser. Every piece of lore had to fit with Trespasser. Not just the environment of the Crossroads or the companions' banter, but what Trespasser was trying to teach us.

And most of its codices are about the Evanuris warring with the Titans. The Titans, who we'd just seen in Descent. The storytelling point of Trespasser was to make us question the nature and morality of Fen'Harel by giving us context about the Evanuris and their own history, then letting us ask for Solas' perspective on it.

That's the thing about Dragon Age. Very little of it is there pointlessly. Every level, every DLC, every codex, is there to teach you something. Even the smaller codices, which don't seem to mean anything tremendous, are there to teach you how to parse the voice of all the other codices. So even beyond the games, I asked myself: what is Tevinter Nights trying to teach me about how Thedas works? What is The Masked Empire teaching me? Is it the same? And what about World of Thedas, volumes 1 and 2, written from the perspective of Thedosian historians, deliberately written to misdirect the reader with the historians' biases?

Whatever I found had to work with what was promised in Veilguard: a controversial Solas. New understanding of the Evanuris. Harding's new magic. Regions of Thedas we never explored, and why those places would all matter.

Knowing the three act structure, as a writer, and knowing that ensemble casts all need to bring a puzzle piece of the grander theme into the main plot through their own personal quests, I had a vague skeleton of what I would need to find. The shape of the information I found would have to fit the world and the relationship dynamics advertised in the Veilguard. Origins would have to matter to the Veilguard; same with DA2; same with Inquisition. Despite the series being disconnected by featuring different leads, the worldbuilding is very much connected between instalments, and so Veilguard would have to be one logical step past everything that developed in Inquisition. (Nevermind a whole host of other criteria that honestly deserves its own post).

It's very hard to describe how the pattern recognition in some ADHD brains works. What I will say is... I noticed something. Every mistranslated elven codex where it deliberately says it has been mistranslated is an invitation for you, the player, to try and figure out what is correct. Everywhere that World of Thedas says that something must be preposterous to the historian narrating it is an invitation to ask yourself: could this be possible? How would that work?

Things like the linguistic overlaps between the elves and the dwarves are intentional. Words that are phonetically similar are far more often intentional than simple oversight. Every scrap of lore holds some significance.

Because in Thedas, every perspective is right, to some degree. Including the Chant of Light. Including ancient elvhenan. If you try and make them all reconcile with each other, and you've also done so in the context of the Veilguard, and you've also got ADHD and a near-photographic memory that is strongest with emotional memories and rules/systems? Well... You get me. You get 30,000 words of "one single picture of lyrium-spirit Solas cracked all of Thedas for me in the span of one mind-blown week while I power-read World of Thedas to check all my facts and essentially lived inside the Dragon Age wiki."

(AKA, you get Bellara in human form. Sorry, Bellara. It's rough out here. But now you, reader, know the reason that this blog was renamed nadas-dirthalen in late September—and why I, when I embraced my nonbinary identity, chose the name Lore for myself.)

And what was promised in Inquisition, as well as in Veilguard's marketing? The Evanuris, Titans, and the blight. They would all have to tie together—and they did.

What Did I Actually Get Right? (An Overview, Anyway)

I'm going to try and categorize this. Oh god. These are going to be such disorganized posts, but I want them done before much information comes out, so bear with me.

What I Got Right:

Solas and Mythal: Yep. He caused the blight; she made him do it. He created the Veil and wounded himself. They weren't romantic; they were trauma-bonded. She wasn't a paragon of good. They both tried to stop the blight anyway.

Sundered Spirits: The sweet, sweet vindication of learning that Dirthamen and Falon'Din were sundered all along. Thank you, BioWare. We also learned that this happened to the Titans (more on broader implications in the last category in this section).

Titan Stories In Elven: Bellara sang "Ir sa tel'nal Mythal las ma theneras" and my heart soared. :) My ego swelled. :) That's all the confirmation I need right now that I hit the nail on the head with the elven lullabies and Solas' backstory.

The Chant of Light Told the Story of the Evanuris: The demons that would be gods. We know now that all the Evanuris manifested physically from their original spirit forms. The Chant called it.

Mythal, Andruil, and Ghilan'nain's Roles in the Blight: Mythal created it, but wanted it sealed away; Andruil found it again; Ghilan'nain made it grow and grow.

Taash, a little? I hypothesized that fire-breathers might come from the Scaled Ones or otherwise have been engineered by an Evanuris. I know they were engineered for the purpose of war, but not by whom (I... think. Needs a replay to confirm).

Davrin: Yes! Davrin was the one who connected that Solas feels responsible for specifically the blight and conveyed that to the rest of the team. He questioned the nature of the Grey Wardens and helped to choose a path forward without any archdemons left.

Harding: Yup. Titan connection. Yup, our narrative path to finding out about angered Titans.

"Do We Win?/Do We Stop the Blight?" Well, in Solas' good ending, we do get what I thought we would: the Evanuris all gone, the Titans on a path to restoration.

What I Definitely Did Not Get Right:

VARRIC?!?! When I said, "If you know, you know. Lyrium dagger, dwarf. If you don't know, close your eyes and pretend you read nothing" — GUYS I THOUGHT VARRIC WOULD GET MAGIC HE REALLY HATED AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY WHEN I SAW WHAT HAPPENED :(

Lucanis: I really thought Spite would be a Forgotten One. However, it's stated a few times that Spite is not a run-of-the-mill demon, and Lucanis is not your average abomination. I wonder if there's banter I'm missing, or if something will happen with that in DA5. Poisoned fruit, and all that.

Emmrich: I really thought Emmrich would do world-changing "give all the spirits back to the Titans" stuff. I think my error with most of the companions is that I forgot how much information actually can feasibly fit into a game without it being 300 hours long or melting the brains of its players.

Neve: Nothin' happened with gangue mentions, or Archon mentions! I was way, way off with Neve.

The Eclipse: It did not have anything to do with the Bird Boy Evanuris™ :( But Elgar'nan moving the sun and moon was badass as hell, and I honestly loved Elgar'nan far more than even my highest expectations.

What I Haven't Gotten Right... YET:

Bellara….?????? Guys I thought there was a Dirthamen connection and they put a codex in the game that says specifically that Dirthamen held a fondness for frogs, same as Bellara. And then they gave her a brother who... ya know... was... presumed... dead... AKA, on the other side of the Veil... for a while... And then they gave that brother a sundered piece of Bellara's own vallaslin. John Epler, where are you going with this please I wanna KNOW, the Bird Boys™ occupy my mind at all hours. (But also? Surprise Forgotten One mention with Bellara, and surprise Anaris mention specifically, and I'm going to pat myself on the back for being so oddly focused on Anaris in my predictions.)

Chant of Light Confirmations: I actually have yet to see a single Chant of Light verse in Veilguard. I think they're saving that one for later, keeping it up their sleeves for the next games. The needle didn't move with confirming/denying anything in the Chant except for the Evanuris as spirits that manifested into physical shape and then sought to conquer the Titans.

Titans-as-Forgotten-Ones: For a time, I thought they disproved me on this, showing Anaris as a spirit, the "eighth" while the "sixth and seventh" roamed free. Showing Anaris craving a body to wreak his evil (?) machinations upon the world. But then I got to thinking, and I realized: they never said the Forgotten Ones are spirits, they just showed one being a spirit. What did they say about spirits in general, or the Titans' relation to the Fade in general?

Titans-and-Fade Connection: I theorized that the Titans' consciousness is the Fade, and the Veil is what keeps them all sundered. I theorized that spirits are thoughts, either floating around in the Fade or held in lyrium. For a long time in Veilguard, I thought I was being disproven. Solas' memories don't say that the Veil sundered all Titans, and they don't say that Titans' consciousness is the Fade, either. But, as I went through Veilguard, I realized... they also didn't not say it. And that's when I knew.

I have to go digging again. And after 8.5 days, here's what I think I've got. It's a start, but a promising one.

Early Signs Veilguard Has Added to My Theories

Remember how I said that there are very few in things in Thedas that are there for no reason? Well, Veilguard has given us plenty of tie-ins to previous material already, just with the stuff I remember off-hand from the past week, no wiki entries to go by yet.

(Please bear in mind that I have had this game for 8 days and this is just barely scratching the surface of its content!)

Let me re-examine some of the things I mentioned above:

Titans-as-Forgotten-Ones

The Nadas Dirthalen's very first word is Sulahn'nehn. Remember how I said many things in Thedas are there intentionally, and that World of Thedas is a book made up of invitations to solve puzzles? This is no exception. World of Thedas states that, translated literally, this common word for "rejoice" actually means "sing again."

That word might be a rallying cry for the spirits of Titans who'd, I don't know... lost their song. A promise of plot to come, made a decade ago. Why else would they include that word, instead of anything more frequently used by characters/the fandom?

I also noticed: the Nadas Dirthalen looks to be contained in a lyrium crystal, specifically. We already know that lyrium is used to store memories! It may be that the Nadas Dirthalen, the inevitability of knowledge, was Anaris storing his knowledge and memories in an attempt to pre-empt the creation of the Veil. Nadas Dirthalen might be a promise: a promise that the Forgotten Ones will return to sing again, and that their knowledge and memories will guide them to victory.

But if I was going to hazard a guess that this is the case, I couldn't base my theory on just this line of dialogue.

Titans-and-Fade-Connection

First and foremost: Neve and a couple codices say that Solas' ritual to create the Veil went wrong. We all heard Solas cry out in pain at the moment of its creation!

Second: defeating one of the revenants, whose name is something like "The Slaughtered Pillars," made my ears perk up. I noticed in the combat with the Betrayal of Felassan that the dialogue lines are supposed to be Solas' regrets, given voice.

You wanna know what it says when you fight the Slaughtered Pillars?

"Light and song, stolen."

You wanna know what the Chant of Light refers to the Fade as? Three guesses. C'mon. :)))

That's right! Light! But why would the slaughtered pillars of the earth complain about their light AND song being stolen? Well—I'm guessing that their Light is the Fade; their consciousness. And without their consciousness, their dreams, all concept of isatunoll was lost to them.

When I heard this line, I threw out what I thought I had been told about the Forgotten Ones being spirits, not Titans. Now, I have a new idea (one that still needs verifying and much codex-reading): the Forgotten Ones are those sundered spirits that Solas severed from the Titans. The entire Fade being cut off from Thedas was an unintended consequence that hurt him as badly as it did the Titans he meant to put to sleep.

(We don't even know that he was in uthenera by choice, with how often he talks about being weakened.)

Suddenly, "Sing again," makes total sense as a rallying cry for Anaris and the Titans, both. I very much look forward to digging through the minutiae of every codex to see if I can find anything else that backs this up!

Terror/Horror Mentions

I need to really examine this one, ideally with the help of a wiki that doesn't quite exist yet for this game, to get all the exact lines. But I swear that fear is mentioned almost constantly in Solas' memories, and also a lot in conjunction with Anaris and with Harding's Titan.

I'm not letting go of my "Solas was crafted from Terror/Dread" theory. Not yet. Not yet.

Bellara and the Bird Boys™

I think BioWare's favourite game, at this point, is teasing us with sneaky little mentions of Dirthamen and Falon'Din. In Veilguard, we went to Zazikel's skeleton in the Cauldron. In Arlathan, owls were just... glowing. Everywhere. Why? I don't know! Rook also doesn't seem to know! But they mention it many times over, and that is always a cue for us to pay attention and ascertain why.

I don't know what Bellara's sneaky little connection to Dirthamen and Falon'Din could mean for the two sundered Evanuris. I don't know if it means that I'm right, and that Dirthamen escaped Fade Jail when Corypheus and the Magisters Sidereal entered the Black City. I don't know if it means that, when Dirthamen and Falon'Din died, their spirits fused back together (because... Mythal's didn't?).

I just know that this has worsened how I constantly search for the Bird Boys™ in everything. Something is happening here, I just need to figure out what.

What Do I Think This Means?

I think this means that BioWare are about to make good on their promise shown in the Poisoned Fruit post-credits scene. Dragon Age 5: Something Something Something Forgotten Ones, ooohhhh, spooky, Terror Terror Malice Fear Nightmare Time, Featuring Solas (reluctantly or gladly) Helping Heal the Titans. And did we mention that the Forgotten and the Forbidden Ones have always been more closely linked than most of the fanbase thought?

But I can only guess at that for now, and I've got some serious reading to do before I say anything more specific than that.

-----

As always, if you read this far, you're one of the real ones. This has been a jumbled mess of midnight thoughts, but I promise you this: I'm only just digging into Veilguard's finer workings. I'm only just starting to put its many pieces together.

And like every Dragon Age game, I can tell that there is something big lurking between the lines of every one. I just need to read something like 135 mementos and [redacted] codices from everywhere else several times over in order to figure out what it is.

But this is just Part One. I promise: the second it clicks for me, I'll write it all in a rambling frenzy for you, too.

It's still super up in the air, but I think for the next one, I might try and tackle What Dragon Age: the Veilguard Did Narratively—and What DA5's Story Will Likely Do to Follow. We'll see what happens to me 50, 100, or 200 codices from now. :)

[solarwynd]

It's amazing how much can change in such a short time. Just 4 months ago, a lot of people were convinced that JK was BTS' most successful and popular member and JJKs were very loud and smug about it.

Now, while there's still obviously a lot of people who think JK is more popular and successful, I'm starting to see a lot more people "think" it's Jimin (or that he's at least equal to JK) because of WHO. Things were so different in 2023.

It literally went from seeing JJKs' taunts on a daily about how the #1 on Billboard made PJMs think they "touched heaven" and now they're making up false narratives about how JK is a fraud and an industry plant simply because they can't deal with the reality of JK taking all of Jimin's records and proving more successful.

Now it's like you can sense there's this insecurity in their spaces. Not that it wasn't already there - they have been obsessing over Jimin way before solo era after all - but this time it genuinely feels different. First when they came across just one post talking about how Jimin seems more successful than JK in the US, they'd come to laugh and boast like they genuinely believe what OP is saying is ridiculous. Now half of the time they come to respond with "please keep JK out of your mouth"

I also love that people aren't afraid to point out the fact that JK was extremely advantaged with Seven and Golden when there's a debate about Jimin vs JK. JJKs absolutely hate that because they can't give an effective counter-argument to that. There's also the annoying "I'm surprised Jimin is more successful than JK in the US" comments (like where have you been, it's been 9 years) but it's whatever. I'm just happy that this type of discourse is becoming so prominent when a few months ago it was seen as something "delusional Jimin solos are pushing and trying to force on everyone"

For a year JJKs and ARMYs were too comfortable with that guy on "the throne". Now you can feel the cognitive dissonance in their fake, OT6 closeted Taekooker diet JK solo envious-and-irrationally-biased-against-jimin brains.

MUSE and WHO truly came like a gift from the Gods. It feels like I'm finally breathing for the first time in a long time. Initially I didn't like the fact Jimin was releasing an album while he was away and couldn't promote. I didn't think it'd flop (that's impossible for Jimin) but I did believe it would fail to exceed or even come close to making the numbers that FACE did, the major reason bring that I thought they'd sabotage him even more than they did FACE. Little did I know it would exceed my expectations, that it would come like the angel of Karma and Retribution herself to avenge Like Crazy and FACE, and wipe all our sorrows😭 (I (know we'll never ever truly be able to just get over what happened in 2023 tho... All that great potential wasted.. LC would have hands down been Jimin's Espresso had it been nurtured the way it was supposed to)

I will be honest, however, and say that I'm feeling anxious about all these rumours that JK has new singles coming up, because we all know Scooter Braun is gonna do everything in his power to give him records that exceed WHO this time. The payola is about to "never like it's nevered before", and we'll basically be back to square one with his solos and ARMYs.

I simply can't stand it. I can't stand when those people are happy, hyping lies and corruption and defending it with their lives.

But whatever is meant to happen will I happen, I guess. For now I'll continue to bask in this glory..

I thought we'd sadly have to wait until after 2025 to shut motherfuckers up and humble them, but Christmas decided to come early.

Even when JK releases something new, I don’t think it’ll be another Seven in terms success. A slightly more successful 3D or SNTY maybe. (if it’s a solo song)

If they’re set on outdoing Seven, Scooter would literally have to give JK Taylor Swift numbers and nobody is doing that outside of her. (Even that fraudulent ass 15.9M he asked one of his contacts at Spotify HQ to type in is still is ridiculous to this day.) Ntm, we’ve already seen what he does without Scooter giving him a boost with NLG. To all of a sudden triple those numbers, inexplicably going back to debuting with 2M+ in the US after not entering US Spotify at all and scrapping the bottom of hot 100 with barely any streams would just be entirely too obvious. (Though I’m sure Bang and Scooter would not care)

If anything, Jimin isn’t even the one to beat, it’d be Rose with ATP. Because Bang was so sure that having a collab with a western artist to get big was his solely his brainchild. But now Atlantic swooped in and disproved that. They probably will have him comeback with yet another collab though instead of solo to hide that fact, which would be the smartest thing to do. But again it’s just proving that these k soloists cannot stand on their own unless they’re backed with payola or hiding behind a western feature. So there’s really nothing to be anxious about.

So kpop stans and armys can say or believe whatever they want to. It’s never changing the fact that Jimin is objectively the most impactful and successful Korean SOLOist out here.

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - I’m pleased with what’s airing, but conflicted about what’s ended & getting started

Aug 2023 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 4 of 8 - Omg the way the bodyguard (handler?) looks at the rich kid. Gah. I see why @heretherebedork​ loves these 2. But I really hate him (not the handler, the kid). Fun fight scene. I love lawyer babygirl SO MUCH. HE WILL BE MY 2023 FAV CHARACTER. I’M CALLING IT. This ep, Srs? You’re killing me. Suits! Pussycat bows! And then... The Public Claiming!!!!! One of my favorite tropes! And openly flirting? Boys. I’m getting spoiled. Wait… is that…? NO SINGING. Ah well, Thai BL giveth and Thai BL taketh away. 

Hidden Agenda that isn’t hidden (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 4 of 10 - I like the script for this. It feels like the conversations they have are very honest to a uni experience. It’s comfortable and breezy. I did not expect the kiss. Bit early in the arc. There is either going to be a lot of backend drama, or a long domestic honeymoon period. (Bet you can guess which one I vote for.) 

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 5 of 8 - It’s moving along in a Ghost Host kinda way (minus the killer chemistry). I’m not mad about it, I don’t think I'll remember it tho. 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 5 of 12 - My ambivalent relationship with this drama continues. Cohabitation trope. Punn is basically a huge puppy trying to spoil/cuddle/fuck his pretty kitty prince. It is what it is. Meanwhile, I just want more of Big Daddy & the Hot Doc. (Also the name of my burlesque show.) Why does Kevin have more chemistry with Ashi in a 1 min long scene than Punn has had… ever? Is this nascent bad boy effect or nascent 2nd lead syndrome I’m feeling? (Meanwhile Ben! Hi! Long time no see!) 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 11 of 12 - Whatever. Trash(ish) watch here. 

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 eps - Aw pretty baby is unhappy his bf got injured. But also very blushing maiden. This is profoundly NOT GOOD. 

Wedding Plan (Weds YT & iQIYI) ep 3 of 7 - I have decided that Lom’s theme song is BigBang’s Monster. Listen. You’ll see what I mean. Also BigBang = also very problematic but banging. What I’m saying is, I wanna punch Lom so bad, I went slightly bonkers. Water sports are addressed. A trash watch is happening!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thurs Viki) 3 of 8 - How DARE they make me love this show so much? I feel personally attacked. The smell thing! Gah. The way they automatically go informal in private. The flirting. The language. The suits, the EVERYTHING. It’s embarrassing how much I rewatch the final bits of each ep. 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 6 of 10 eps - I adore this ridiculous show. (I just realized that the actor playing Jiang Chi played Ray’s evil 2-timing bf in About Youth). Baby boy is quite clueless. Sweet dreams tho. I love them both so much. The washing his jersey scene was so fucking cute. Couple’s numbers, couple’s keychains, bridal towel, kisses. Thank you Taiwan for NOT activating blushing maiden. However, confident gay/confused bisexual is a go. And we got us some justifiable angst. Sigh. I’m so happy. 

Sing My Crush AKA Follow The Wind (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 eps - supposed to have released in the first half of 2022 this is a adaption of Myung’s webtoon, from the director of My Sweet Dear, and Love Tractor’s production house, basically Korea does About Youth. It’s sweet (the singing bits are easy to skip) and very much a story of young first love but less stiff than KBL’s usual high school fare (kinda Taiwan feeling). I like it but that very imprecision in production makes me concerned for an HEA, especially with such a low MDL rating. 

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 8fin  - Rough final episode, but it does end happily. Fortunately, I had some warning for my personal triggers, but this is Japan and they did go dark. Full review below. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 5 of 12 eps - Shin is so cute and proud and boldly out. I love him. Movement in the relationship with both couples, even if it’s movement into arguments and misunderstanding. I suppose we got 12 eps they need to do... something.  

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) 1 of 5 eps - It’s confusing. And… not good? Some flashbacks some present day? 

It’s airing but ...

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.

Review: Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa

I had to chew on this for a while but here’s where I ended up. 

Two young men with a shared tragic past reunite and fall in love all over again, but the past will not stop hunting them. Based on a manga, this office set reunion romance is GREAT… damn it. It’s Japan in full on soft focus which means it gets emo, abusive, and chewy. These two characters are giving parts of their souls away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other. 

Japan gave us the Bed Friends that Thailand could never even imagine. But here’s the thing: I don’t enjoy my BL this heavy and cutting. I know that for The 8th Sense crowd this is peak BL and I can’t argue with the fact that the romantic devotion, domesticity, script, and acting IS all on point. It’s just not my personal preference for that point to be so damn sharp. I appreciate that this being 2023 I have the luxury of consistent quality (especially from Japan) and thus the ability to say… 

I acknowledge that this SHOULD get a 9/10 but I can’t emotionally go higher than 8/10 

RECOMMENDED BUT KNOW WHAT KIND OF BL THIS IS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS LIKE CRAZY 

Japan = sticking to its lanes like their BL is on rails. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting: 

8/11 Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) 10 eps 

8/12 My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) 8 eps 

Still Coming August 2023

8/19 Love in Translation (Thai Sat One31) ? eps - Two strangers start working in a cafe together.

8/19 I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thai Sat Gaga) 12 eps - The time travel historical romance many of us have been waiting for. 

8/20 My Universe series (Thai Sun iQIYI) 24 episodes - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, not sure on the order they’ll drop. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, mostly fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct several.

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues ????) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer, Viki or Gaga will get this one.  

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo. Tong is in this one too?

8/? Why R U? (Korean remake) is supposed to be out this month, filming started in sept 22. I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for six short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.

Oh yeah, Only Friends is coming. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda. I love them. 

Public claiming with the waist grab maneuver! A true hero. 

But I think we can all agree that THIS is the hero all love triangles deserve. (both Laws) 

(Last week)