#i did not expect the cartoonish humor from this comic

[tickledpink31]

Remember when I said that I was reading the Wei Dong Chen Journey to the West comic?

Yeah I love this comic.

Also have a Flat Stanley Wukong:

[jimpluff]

Godzilla x Kong: First Impressions

Short review: Delicious fast food kaiju

A little bit longer now (avoiding spoilers and just giving overall impressions, so feel free to read even if you haven't seen yet): No, really, this movie's tickets should literally come with a Happy Meal set and one of the blind crystal mini figures. It is a very specific, deceptively expertly crafted junk food pleasure that I sometimes find hard not to love.

I went in expecting a passable but somewhat embarrassing mess. It was a lot better than that, and I actually think Wingard is something of a genius at walking a particular action/comedy/blockbuster tightrope. So many elements are done just enough to satisfy, not so much as to annoy or ever slow the pacing, just the right amount of comic relief, and a sprinkling of drama that's actually fairly tasteful despite being puddle deep. He's also quite the visionary for thinking up ridiculous moments that pay off enough to make you forgive how outrageous they are. I genuinely laughed several times, a first for a MonsterVerse movie, and there really wasn't a tedious moment.

And the thing that will catch the most flak? The new mantra that will annoy the Godzilla world more than even Can't Bin the Shin? Ackshully, Godzilla x Kong is quite a lot like a Showa film.

A few other statements: +Bernie is the best human character in the Monsterverse, and it's not close. +The humor and the Easter eggs in this movie were both done more deftly than in any other Monsterverse film. Did you all catch the 2014 poster in Bernie's place? Did you catch "Punch punch punch?"

+The music was cool, and I'm happy Wingard really put his '80s electronic, neon light stamp on this movie. His confidence in his own tastes shone on virtually every frame, and even when I didn't share every particular preference, it was just a pleasure to see a filmmaker commit to it, even knowing some would sneer. +I was skeptical about all the monkey business, but it was actually all right, and Skar King was cool enough. Shimo looked fairly impressive, too, and grew on me the more it reminded me of Ray Harryhausen's dragon from The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad. + I'm tempted to make a midwit curve meme with GxK on the dumb and brilliant ends and Godzilla Minus One at the 85-115 curve. But that would be hurtful, so I won't. (for the curve peakers - this is a joke)

Criticisms -The biggest one, which others noted and which was apparent from the trailers, was the cartoonish movement of the kaiju. This was most an issue in the final battle, which would have benefitted from a little more money and time just to make it feel more impactful. But the whole movie is loaded with action and Shit Happening that, drawn out toooooo much more, and it could have felt exhausting like KoTM sometimes did. Again, Wingard has a supernatural sense for how long he can get away with things and played it safe and light. -By now, I'm sure everyone knows about Kong's glove. How he gets it is almost laughably glazed over, but again, Wingard knows we don't really care for a drawn-out explanation and sequence there. The ridiculousness of it and the visual flair with how it's executed makes you throw up your hands and say, yeah, I mean that was dumb as hell but pretty sick, and here comes the next crazy moment. -Less a criticism than an anticipation of the objections to positive reviews, but yes, if this type of movie were all the Godzilla franchise had to offer, I think I would tire of it. But we already had Sukiyabashi Jiro level sushi in Shin Godzilla and Gion Kyoto-level Kaiseki-ryori in Minus One. It's cool to also treat the palate with a McDonald's double cheeseburger, fries, and a classic Coke whose sugary sludge we know is going to lead us to needing a very special false tooth. There are many kinds of pleasures in the world.

[jazzforthecaptain]

Guess who's back on her Fast & Furious bullshit.

Is the new movie good?

I mean, how do you define good? Did I have to suspend disbelief about a lot of things (gravity, friction, inertia, technology, projectiles, the towing capacity of a Dodge Charger, etc.)? Yes. Absolutely. 100% from about 20 minutes into the film.

Was it fun? Fuuuuuck yes.

Did it pass the found family vibe check? For sure. It referenced people I'd almost forgotten about. They pulled the original actors to play all of them. The movie even has a discussion with itself about how quickly and completely people still get pulled into Dom's orbit, which is a great bit.

There's some eyeroll inducing lines - there always are - but this iteration seems more aware of itself than past films, and the writing is better than 8 and 9. Even when someone says something worthy of a comic book font, it matches the tone of the scene. The action sequences are outrageous and the movie knows it. It's fine with it. We live in a world where the heroes discover a massive explosive in the back of their vehicle and nobody even says "WHAT?" This are roads we know.

It's fun. It's a greatest hits review of the good stuff from F&F. Charlize Theron is somehow better in this than she was when she first showed up in the franchise to chew the scenery. John Cena is, frankly, adorable in his role. And Jason Momoa's sheer chaos energy - this man has range. Over the years I've watched him go from Ronon Dex to Conan the Barbarian to Aquaman to Duncan Idaho, but I never expected Dante Reyes. There's so much personality in this character that it escapes into everything he's wearing and driving. Momoa's humor and comedic timing shines. Dante makes a Joker for Dom's Batman and his Justice League of associates, literally assembled out of DC and Marvel actors.

The plot is whatever. It mostly connects, even if it pushes past belief before the first half hour. Did you come here for the plot? This franchise? The one with the car chase against a submarine, against a tank, against a plane? The franchise where a shadowy agency airdrops muscle cars into a combat zone? Where our heroes drive a car out of one high rise and into an adjacent high rise? Where they launched a Fiero into space to ram a satellite and hitchhiked onto the ISS?

I stopped being here for the plot after Fast Five. Honestly I should have given up sooner but what can I say? I'm stubborn. I mean, for a movie where people chase cartoonish bombs through Roman fountains and back cars out of low-flying planes, it's ironic how ultimately safe and predictable the storyline is. But like... it's a pretty satisfying story. It's a bedtime story for a baby Toretto, where the good guys face impossible odds, get framed for something they didn't do, and have to fight their way out of corner after corner with ever-escalating stakes; but where love and community always saves the day, and nobody ever really dies.

So was it good? I feel like that's the wrong question. Was it what I wanted? Yeah. Things suck right now and this was a silly, feel-good treat for myself. It was fun to get dressed up in my Fast & Furious shirt and go to the theater. It reminded me of all the things I love about the franchise and better still, it owns the franchise from start to finish. It doesn't try to be anything else. The Fast & the Furious, Fast & Furious, and Fast Five are always going to be where my heart is. This touched on those vibes without dwelling too long on them. When it hurt, it was a good hurt, and then we got on with things.

[sallertiacallidus]

Artist's wrapped, 4, 7 and 20?

4 - How many different styles/medium (e.g., digital art, traditional art, comics, sculpture, paper craft, etc.) did you try this year?

Medium: traditional art, digital art, and some quick and humorous comics.

Styles: chibis, children’s book style, heavily cartoonized (specifically, I was trying to emulate the style of the animation Becky Prim), SHAPED and SKRUNKLY

Then there’s what I call my “default” style, which evolved and got influenced by all these styles I experimented with. Going from “anatomically consistent, if stylized” to more and more cartoonish with time, where anatomy is all but a suggestion.

7 - What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

I’m– very bad at expecting things from my works (I mean, I do want it to receive attention, but I’m never sure what exactly to expect?). Like, I’ll throw it to the void, and then take cover as I wait for something to happen. So, anytime it passes double digits (past 20, to be more precise), I’m like, wtf??? who are these people???? Much less triple digits on a post about a crack-y AU of A Court of Fey and Flowers.

In short, this post about the Three Goblins in a Trenchcoat AU.

20 - Is there anyone you'd love to collaborate with next year?

I’m not exactly sure how collaborative pieces work (only did it once), but I would love to try again given the chance (and if I have the energy to).

(psst– @kronehaze, @arcadeology, if y’all ever want to...)

[avatarcompanion]

I finally watched the netflix live action. Binged in a few days with a friend.

Overall verdict: it's good, of course doesn't surpass the original, but brought a few interesting new angles.

My main complaint is it's kind of dull, particularly in the beginning. Not so emotionally engaging, every character has been toned down in some way, they took out most of the cartoonish humor and heartwarming moments and just quirky shit that made Avatar special - obviously it's to "age it up" in the tone and themes, which is fine, but they need to replace it with some other kind of soul.

Visually, it's perfect in my opinion, they re-created the visuals of the show in live action in a way I found impressive - I feel like I am in the Avatar world, all of the casting is at least decent, however the direction and some of the writing didn't make me FEEL like I was watching Avatar.

This aspect did improve gradually through it's 8 episodes, making it more engaging to watch as we went along, with more emotional engagement and heartwarming moments that made me enjoy the cartoon series. Then again, I'm honestly not sure I would be hooked on this franchise just watching the first few episodes of the original cartoon - at least, I think most hardcore fans would admit their deeper engagement grew throughout the show.

In the end, I felt convinced I'm watching the same characters in the same world and an overall similar story, albeit an altered one with a different take. It's clearly a re-interpretation that doesn't pretend to be otherwise, and I rolled with that. No, I don't really mind some moments were "OOC" or off, because that's what it is - it's fanfiction, and I found it entertaining to be thrown off my expectations and see this AU version of the story and characters. They are allowed their own interpretation, as far as I'm concerned, and I can take it or leave, it doesn't move the cartoon 1 mm. I prefer it this way, so you can't let the characters from the live action inform the original, except if I want to.

I was happy when the live action veered off from an exact retelling of the cartoon, because when they re-created almost the same scenes, it was hard not to compare mentally with the cartoon and analyze for the "flaws" in recreating something that was already loved. In the end, I felt like I didn't have too, because they'd changed too much.

I was fine they cut-off some of the fillers and really childish elements, and instead included worldbuilding from Korra or the comics. I honestly I didn't really mind they put away some of the focus from the younger characters (Aang and Katara) to the older characters and including Azula, because they weren't really trying to pretend like that's not what they were doing. (Unlike the cartoon which presents as being all about Aang, and then let's Zuko take over lmao). I think in the end the series can find it's own balance, and some developments might go differently and a bit slower. Clearly Aang and Katara is still a main relationship, even if it's not as explicitly "the heart of the show" and probably some romantic undertones will develop more slowly, which I do not mind.

Probably the most interesting aspect was making a canonically consistent, yet completely different angle for the presentation of Azula, actually. I'll make a separate post on that.

One issue with the marketing is they sold the show as a pretty 1:1 re-telling of the cartoon, and it wasn't. Likely they wanted to distance themselves with the movie-that-won't-be-mentioned, and this is obviously much, much better than that. However, it's not the cartoon, it's not trying too hard to be, and that's kind of great.

So not perfect, but worth watching. It's Avatar, but it's completely it's own take on it, it lets new things come out and some stuff die. They want to do their own thing, and what they should improve is developing more soul of their own, not becoming more purist canon or whatever.

[themovieblogonline]

Deadpool & Wolverine Review: A Bloody, Action-Packed Marvel Adventure

“Deadpool & Wolverine” heralds Deadpool’s eagerly anticipated inclusion in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, along with the unexpected, jaw-dropping addition of Wolverine. Finally, fans get their wish to see Deadpool and Wolverine unite on screen in a film that remains true to Deadpool’s irreverent spirit and opens doors to exciting new stories within the expansive MCU landscape. Deadpool & Wolverine Review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjX4shWoK7k The Good: Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman worked perfectly. Their chemistry was outstanding. Both actors gave excellent performances in the characters they know all too well. I appreciated that Jackman maintained his character's gruff and stern composure and allowed Reynolds to be the comic relief expected from Deadpool. There was also an emotional element to the story, which both actors were able to really dial in during the more dramatic moments in the story. You really felt bad when Wolverine verbally digs into Deadpool. You also connect with Wolverine's pain when you learn more of his backstory. All of that was elevated thanks to both actors' performances. Deadpool And Wolverine Looks Great Another highlight is the action. From the opening scene, the tone is set for how bloody and gruesome the film will be. The fight scenes are some of the best in the MCU, thanks to excellent choreography. The opening fight and the car battle are standout moments. The action is graphic and aggressive, true to what we've come to expect from Deadpool. The cinematography is solid, enhancing the viewing experience with unique camera shots. Director Shawn Levy captures memorable scenes, including well-timed slow-motion moments and a 2D, side-scrolling shot reminiscent of Daredevil's hallway fight scene. As many would expect, Deadpool and Wolverine delivered a plethora of cameos. The guest appearances were fun and satisfying every time they came on screen. The cameos accomplished the difficult tasks of appeasing fan service while not compromising the story. It's important to note that these cameos will land ten times more effectively the less the audience knows about them from spoilery trailers or internet rumor leakers. Without going into spoiler territory, my favorite cameos were the deep-cut characters from the comics and the more "comic-accurate" portrayals of some characters. To be honest, I even screamed for joy for a certain cameo. Laughing From Beginning To End Last but not least, the best thing going for Deadpool and Wolverine is the comedy. Thankfully, the humor was right in line with the previous Deadpool films. Thanks to Deadpool being able to break the fourth wall, the off-the-cuff jokes about real-life situations were really funny too. The most entertaining jokes were all the ones that poked fun at Marvel Studios itself. The self-awareness of the multiverse saga, Phase 4, and so much more felt refreshing when they were made at Marvel's expense. The Bad: One of the main weaknesses of Deadpool and Wolverine is the writing of some characters. Cassandra Nova came off as one-dimensional. Despite being a terrifying villain, her character could've used more backstory. She felt like a shoe-horned villain with little to no real connection to Deadpool. Mr. Paradox is another character poorly served by the writing. His motivations are not compelling, and his character seems cartoonish at times. Matthew Macfadyen's performance doesn't help, especially when he engages in comedic moments. His best scenes are when he plays "the straight man" opposite Deadpool. There were moments when his character was written to be funny, and I thought it disrupted the chemistry and flow. Unnecessary Spoilers Finally, while this isn't a major flaw of the film, the marketing of the film did have a bit of a negative impact. There's a character that was advertised in the movie that took away some of the impact of their appearance. The film set up audiences in a way that made this character's arrival feel like a real surprise. However, if you were one of the audience members who saw the final trailer from Marvel, or the numerous thumbnail images from news outlets about this character, then that's just one more surprise taken away from your movie-going experience. The Verdict: Deadpool and Wolverine was a bloody, action-packed, cameo-fest all wrapped up in a heartwarming love letter to Marvel fans. All of the fun comic references, Easter eggs, and cameos make this sequel the most Marvely MCU film since Spider-Man: No Way Home. It was a great sendoff to the Fox universe and more importantly, it's probably the best Deadpool sequel. I cannot express enough how gratifying it was to see Marvel recognize and acknowledge, even through its characters, that they know they've fallen short with their recent films. Deadpool and Wolverine gives me a spark of hope that the MCU isn't dying and is fully capable of capturing the magic audiences have grown to love over the past decade. Final Thoughts As for saving the MCU, that depends on your definition. If it means breaking the trend of disappointing movies with a good film, then yes, this film gives the MCU a great adrenaline shot. If it means bringing a clearer sense of direction for the MCU, then no, this movie didn't accomplish that. Either way, this was a very good Deadpool sequel. It felt more like a standalone film than a sort of pre-Avengers setup. Keep your expectations in check. There's plenty of rewatch value and laughs. There's only one post-credit scene, which is a joke from earlier in the movie. Be sure to check out Deadpool and Wolverine in theaters.     Director: Shawn Levy Writer(s): Shawn Levy, Wendy Molyneux, Lizzie Molyneux-Logelin Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Emma Corrin, Morena Baccarin, Rob Delaney, Leslie Uggams, Karan Soni, and Matthew Macfadyen Deadpool  & Wolverine comes to select theaters July 26, 2024. Be sure to follow E-Man’s Movie Reviews on Facebook, Subscribe on YouTube, or follow me on Twitter/IG @EmansReviews for even more movie news and reviews!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Space Jam/Space Jam: A New Legacy

I am genuinely confused, guys. Space Jam: A New Legacy has come out, and it is just getting a critical thrashing on all fronts. It is being derided as being a retread of Ready Player One, it’s being mocked as a shameless commercial, it’s being called the ‘definition of corporate’… And all of this is just baffling because this is literally no different than the original film, which was based on a commercial and just made to cash in on 90s culture. The original is a cult classic now and something of a meme in its own right, but it is undoubtedly a big fat commercial made to cash in on the times and boy did it ever because we still remember it fondly to this very day.

But I think there’s plenty of value in this new film, and I think a lot of it might be fondly remembered by younger generations down the line like the original is by people like me. What helps is that, in a lot of ways, this movie does things way better than the original… though I certainly won’t say this new film is perfect by any means. You’ve gotta go in with the mindset that this is just a dumb, silly commercial that you’re watching for cartoon antics and shameless product placement, first and foremost. Do that, and you might be able to handle all the stuff I’m about to talk about.

The obvious starting comparison for the films is the leads. Michael Jordan in the original is, to put it lightly, not an actor. He puts in a very corny performance by even the nicest definitions. But still, I think that lends him a charm all his own, and he’s not detrimental to the film at all. In fact, his lack of acting talent is easily smoothed over by the general charisma Jordan brings to his role. In comparison, LeBron James is a much better actor (though let’s not pretend he’ll be winning an Oscar any time soon), but he lacks a lot of the charisma Jordan brought to his role. That’s not to say James is weak, though; he acts just enough to bring the awkward, dorky charm of someone not an actor by trade trying their best to the role. It’s hard not to like him, at least a little bit, and he does have some decent interactions with the Tunes, though I think Jordan definitely has him beat there.

Speaking of the Tunes, they are a clear improvement over how they were in the original film. A common criticism of Space Jam is that, as fun as the Tunes were, a lot of the time they were a bit out of character, and the one newcomer (Lola) was nothing but oversexualized furry bait who existed to be a love interest and whose personality began and ended with ‘girl.’ The new movie fixes this by giving the Tunes a lot of fun, cartoonish antics that feel far more in line with how they are usually portrayed. Bugs is back to being a tricky rascal, Daffy is an egomanical jackass, and so on. Much like a lot of modern portrayals, the movie fixes Lola by amping up her badass qualities while still staying true to her original appearance by having her be good at basketball, but not to the point she overshadows everyone. There are some issues with the Tunes, such as the weird stunt casting of Zendaya as Lola and Gabriel Iglesias as Speedy instead of using their more modern voice actors, as well as using a voice for Bugs that makes him sound really off at times, but overall the Tunes are treated far more respectfully and with far greater dignity than the original afforded them (except my man Marvin, they really did him dirty in this one).

When it comes to the main villain, there is absolutely no contest here. Swackhammer is a bland, horribly forgettable corrupt corporate executive archetype with little to no interesting twists to him, and he commits cardinal sin of cinema by wasting Danny DeVito. A New Legacy, on the other hand, gives the Oscar-nominated superstar Don Cheadle a hell of a lot to do in the movie. Al-G Rhythm is a sentient computer virus who wants to capture LeBron James and use him to churn out lazy, soulless cashgrab films, and he does it all while hamming things up to the high heavens. Cheadle looks like he’s having an absolute blast, and he’s definitely one of the most fun villains in a kid’s movie in a long while (especially since Disney doesn’t seem to be able to make good villains anymore). Unfortunately, this does come at a price it seems. In the original, the opposing team is comprised of the Nerdlucks/Monstars, who all build themselves up throughout the movie as an actual intimidating threat. The opposing team here gets no buildup, being conjured up solely for the big game at the end, and while they’re not awful, they really aren’t particularly memorable either.

Speaking of the big game, I’m just gonna say it: A New Legacy blows the original completely out of the water in this regard. The cartoonish antics are through the roof and are mixed in with video game antics, Don Cheadle hams it up to the high heavens, and there are cameos from the most ridiculous array of Warner Bros. Properties you could imagine. This has become a prominent source of derision, but if you feel no joy at seeing Arnold Schwarzengger’s Mr. Freeze, the Droogs, Pennywise, and one of the nuns from The Devils doing idle animations and losing their shit over a Looney Tunes basketball game, I’m not particularly sure I care about your opinion. This is the exact sort of stupid fun I’d want from a movie like this. I’ll certainly take it over Bill Murray showing up out of nowhere for no good reason, that’s for sure.

The humor of A New Legacy far outshines the original for the reasons I mentioned with talking about the portrayal of the Tunes, but there are some issues. The montage where Bugs and LeBron recruit all the Tunes is a bit rushed, and the concept (the Tunes have migrated to other Warner properties) is really glossed over save for Daffy and Porky in the DCAU and Lola training to become an Amazon in a comic book-style take on Wonder Woman (complete with the now-iconic theme!) that really goes to show she should replace Gal Gadot. Other than them, we get Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner in Fury Road, Sylvester and Elmer in The Spy Who Shagged Me, Granny and Speedy in The Matrix, and Yosemite Sam in Casablanca, and while all of these gags are great and funny, they’re over far too quickly and could have been expanded into a whole sequence of their own rather than just a montage. I don’t know about you, but I really am far more interested in seeing what the hell Game of Thrones is like with Foghorn Leghorn as Daenerys than I am most other things in movies. It’s just a whole lot of missed opportunities. I’m less forgiving to the out-of-nowhere rap battle in the middle of the basketball game, but is it really worse than the out-of-nowhere Pulp Fiction reference in the original or, again, Bill Murray just showing up at the end?

Look, I’m not trying to say either film is some masterpiece of emotion or storytelling or anything like that, but both films have their place. The original is a fun, corny piece of 90s nostalgia that manages to be fun almost in spite of itself, while the new film is a fun, goofy spectacle that takes everything good about the first film and makes it better while still hosting problems of its own. They’re fun, flawed, amusing, and stupid commercials, and they absolutely deliver on what you want them to be. The Looney Tunes play basketball with a superstar against a bunch of crazy opponents while a cavalcade of cameos watches from the sideline… If you’re expecting anything more, you’re watching the wrong movie.

[nitrateglow]

What I’ve been watching:

Gambit (dir. Ronald Neame, 1966)

This movie gets compared to How to Steal a Million often since it’s a genre-bending heist/romcom but it has its own unique vibe. The romance between Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine is less steamy than what we got between Peter O’Toole and Audrey Hepburn, but they still have great chemistry. The plot involves Caine’s cocky cat burglar trying to pull off the perfect heist with MacLaine’s aid—only he might actually be the worst con-man in the world, constantly misreading and underestimating his marks. It turned out to be much better than I expected—highly recommended if you liked HTSAM.

Dial M for Murder (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1954) [rewatch]

On my first watch, I agreed with Hitchcock on this one: too talky and more of a technical exercise than an engaging suspense plot. However, I rewatched Dial M recently and enjoyed it a lot more. Ray Milland’s performance has a lot more subtleties than I originally picked up on: his expressions, his ironic line delivery, and his use of props are all on point. I also had much more appreciation for the clever camerawork and the performance of John Williams as Inspector Hubbard. While I still don’t consider it top tier Hitchcock, it’s definitely more fascinating than it initially seems.

What Lies Beneath (dir. Robert Zemekis, 2000)

Sorry to say I was disappointed. I love me a good Hitchcockian thriller, but this one had two problems for me: it’s way too long and there are too many fake-out jump scares. Were it not for those issues, I would have probably enjoyed this one more, because the acting and atmosphere are genuinely impressive. And the last twist did actually get me, so kudos there.

3 Bad Men (dir. John Ford, 1926)

I’ve been trying to watch more westerns recently. It’s not a genre I’m especially familiar with, but I find the mythology behind the western as a genre rather fascinating, especially in how the western has crossbred with other genres (samurai films, space operas, etc.). This silent western from John Ford probably doesn’t count among his career best, but I liked it a lot. I love eccentric criminals in my movies and the titular “bad men” are a trio of oddball thieves out to rescue a town from a corrupt sheriff. There’s a lot of humor here, but the ending is genuinely powerful and dramatic.

Damn Yankees (dir. Stanley Donen, 1958)

I’m by no means a Stanley Donen expert, but of all his work, I found Damn Yankees the most underwhelming. Gwen Verdon is about the only reason to watch: she just glows. The plot itself is flimsy and aside from “What Lola Wants,” I cannot hum any of the other songs.

Ella Cinders (dir. Alfred E. Green, 1926)

This is a silent film you hear about when you first become a fandom novice. Just about every silent movie nerd watched Kevin Brownlow’s Hollywood documentary series and Ella Cinders is featured prominently in one episode, so it’s been on my watchlist for about a decade now. The film itself is a cute trifle elevated by Colleen Moore, perhaps my favorite silent movie comedienne. She’s playing a comic strip character and just brims with cartoonish energy. She’s so adorable that I wish the movie was longer and had a less episodic plot, but maybe that comes with adapting a newspaper comic strip.

Fedora (dir. Billy Wilder, 1978)

Oh God. BAD. This was b-a-d, BAD. I cannot believe I am saying that about a Billy Wilder movie. The guy is a favorite of mine. His weaker movies tend to be underwhelming rather than rotten, but this—oh man, it’s like a burlesque on Sunset Blvd, only sleazier, poorly paced, and packed with characters who commit the mortal sin of being simultaneously uninteresting and unsympathetic.

Basically, Not-Joe-Gillis, a washed-up Hollywood producer, goes to a remote island to lure Fedora, an Old Hollywood movie goddess, out of retirement. She’s basically a Greta Garbo expy who has somehow defied the aging process. She’s interested in his new version of Anna Karenina, but her servants, personal doctor, and the severe Polish countess she lives with basically tell her no and keep her a prisoner. Shortly after, Not-Joe learns Fedora has committed suicide and then learns her dreadful secret.

Needless to say, learning the twist is not worth the watch, especially because you can guess the twist within the first half hour of the movie. The whole movie feels like unintentional camp—and worse, like a sleazy, cheaply made TV movie. There’s a smallness to the film’s presentation that does not jibe with the outlandish plot and grand figures of Hollywood’s past. The only interest it has is as a time capsule, giving us a glimpse of an Old Hollywood giant yearning for the past and resenting the present (Not-Joe laments that “the kids with the beards” have taken over the movie industry). Like Fedora herself, the film comes off as pathetic rather than ironic or bittersweet.

[gabrielbigbang]

POSTING DATE: March 29th

AUTHOR: @senoritablack​

ARTIST: @casslastheaven​

STORY TITLE: Miscellaneous Drawer, Two Toothbrushes

BANG SIZE: Mega

RATING: Explicit

SHIPS: Sam/Gabriel, Dean/Castiel (Background), Sam/OC (Briefly) 

TAGS: Humor, Fluff, Slow Burn, Obliviousness, Enemies to friends to lovers, Angst, Domesticity, Canon Typical Violence, Canon divergence, Continuity errors, TW for mention of depression, TW for mention of homophobia,  Top!Sam, Oral, Handjobs

SUMMARY: When Sam finds out that Gabriel's been resurrected and lying low in the bunker for months, he goes through the all stages of grief. There's denial, some anger, a brief stint in bargaining, but he skips depression and is forced into acceptance. Sam's so preoccupied with how Gabriel shouldn't fit into his life, that it takes him a year to realize that Gabriel's shown Sam that he does. Somewhere down the line all of Sam's routines change and it's all because Gabriel grossly overstays his welcome. 

Excerpt below the cut...

EXCERPT: Sam expects old aches in new places. New grays are a non-issue. He accepts the latest latent hang up, re-emerging like a stalking piranha, biting him in the ass and holding on until he is so hurt and uncomfortable with himself, that he’s sighing curse words into the crook of his elbow before stubbornly hurling himself into the day. Sam will fix his bed, take a leak, then, and despite his aging body’s protest, there’s a quick warm-up before an hour sprint. Teeth brushing, showering, drying off and dressing is a short affair because his stomach will remind him that he’s fasted for 8 hours. He goes for something lean if he’s heading out for work. It's 3 eggs scrambled in an unforgivable amount of butter and the deli meat of the week between toast, if he’s to be at the bunker. 

All to say, Sam's mornings come with little to no thought at all, pass with zero surprises and don't usually involve the reflection of a bare-ass archangel presumed to be dead. They don't include a seemingly not-dead archangel turning towards a shocked Sam at the counter to—without so much as a flush or hello—wash their hands and leave just as insouciant as they’d sauntered in. Matter of fact, Sam never stubs his toe trying to compose himself. He doesn’t, ever, make sounds like an angry chihuahua whose paw has been stepped on and doesn’t usually have reason to go for the gun strapped under the sink. So, he's never been prompted to limp after an assailant at ass o’clock in the morning, and in no instance beyond that, has his welcoming shot been responded to with an uninterested, “Oh, hey, Sam.” 

The bullet falls to the polished concrete of the bunker with an almost comical ting and the sound reverberates in the silences that hangs between them. 

“Who the hell are you?“ Sam asks after a beat.

Then he's not waisting anymore time, never lowering his gun as he toes towards his chest of drawers. He snatches the silver blade that lies there. The being wearing Gabriel's vessel has the audacity to look unimpressed.

“I get that I didn't replace the toilet roll the other night, but you didn't have to shoot." It says. 

“I thought that Dean had—hold on—no, who are you?” Sam asks again. 

“All archangel, kid, but sure, have at it.” The being says, extending a hand. 

Sam pulls the being closer by the wrist and drives the sharp blade across the offered palm. There's blood but somehow the being looks more inconvenienced than in pain. Sam frowns. Then fixes his shoulders. He drags the being a few steps towards his bed, diving under his pillow for the holy water he stores there and washes over the already healing cut. But still, nothing. Not a demon either? 

“What are you?” Sam demands this time. 

“Already bored.”

“I won’t—” Sam says, backing the being into the closest wall with his forearm. 

He presses deep into the being’s neck, waiting for it to choke, to splutter, to fight back. But it doesn't. 

“Kinky.” It gurgles and goes slack against Sam’s increasing pressure. 

“—ask again.” 

The being frowns. Sam relents some.

“Company be damned, you come in any closer and I can’t be reliable for how my dick responds.” The being says. 

 Sam looks down and quickly back up again. His neck goes hot.  When Sam rectifies the situation with some distance, he clears his throat.

“There's no way.” 

“There was one way, obviously. Mean, I’m here aren’t I?”

“How? Was it another trick? How did you fool Lucifer? Were you in hiding all this time? What.”

“Does it really matter?" It asks. 

“You're kidding right, yes! Yes, yeah, it matters, dude. If you're really who you say you are, how the hell are you here?”

“Well after saving your asses from being deity chow—you're welcome by the way—and having my own bro put me down for the long nap I sorta just… woke up.” It makes a a vague, sweeping gesture that does nothing to clarify what it's saying. 

“You woke up—okay, sure, whatever. So was it Norse magic? Was it angelic? God himself? You’re not giving me a lot to go on.”

The being shrugs and with a snap, the room around them turns. The beings in a heavily pillowed wicker loveseat and Sam’s lying on a fold-out that’s a foot too short for him. 

It's the snap that keeps Sam from protesting again, triggering a thunder of emotions, because he's momentarily thrusted into a reel of memory. Lewd suggestions and apparitions, and ludicrous just desserts. Cartoonish deaths, strawberry syrup, a steak, a plea, and finally, a Wednesday.  Playing an angsty doctor, arrogant cop, game show contestant, playing their roles and winning.  Thinking it’d been Loki, figuring out different. Figuring out what that meant. Sam remembers Gabriel. Gabriel the archangel, who’s mask they had confiscated all those years ago when they had trapped him in that holy oil, a mask they held in their hands well until they met again at the hour of his last jest. Before his more cunning brother saw through the trick and took his life. He gave Dean, Cas, and humanity a chance. He gave Sam a damn chance. And Sam felt like there was finally an x in the map, and all he had to do was stick to the trail. He felt hopeful. And Sam’s finding the rings again, thanks to Gabriel. He's saving the world. But then he’s falling. Burning. Despondent. Waking, remembering and not caring what he was. Waking, forgetting, uncovering and hating what he was. 

When Sam’s brought back from the memories, he’s sure they’re the same being. Sam didn't expect to grieve Gabriel's death. But he did. He wasn’t a friend. He was barely an ally. He simplified it to empathy, in the end, knowing what it meant to acknowledge every mistake but not live long enough to correct them and stoped being confused by the feelings. Eventually, he stopped wondering about Gabriel's what-ifs all together. Still, it's been years. Sam swallows down the mixture of new and old hurt, keeps in everything he wants to ask, to argue. He bolts upright, stares at the being, after Gabriel, because even as experience gives reason enough to deny all this, his instincts won't let him. It’s totally Gabriel. Gabriel with all his five foot eight of inexhaustible condescension, looking at Sam with familiar honey-colored haughtiness, lips curling as if he knows all of the embarrassing thoughts and misgivings that Sam wakes up to. Gabriel, using humor as his sword, aflame and so bright, that it wards off anyone who can’t be bother to wait long enough. But Sam had waited for the fire to die down before. He could wait again.

[funnuraba]

A Rough Moral Overview of Archie Comics: Teen Propaganda Machine

Part 1: The 1940s

1941: Archie first appears in a small feature near the end of PEP Comics #22. His popularity builds rapidly, with the audience apparently writing in to express immense interest in the short monthly Archie comic.

At first the Archie story isn’t even mentioned on the cover, but Archie himself slowly starts appearing on the cover, always with PEP’s big star at the time, The Shield. The Shield on the cover is at first much larger than Archie, but he shrinks over time, and after Veronica’s introduction, she and Betty start to feature on covers as well. The Shield continues shrinking...

And by issue #49, the magazine is PEP Comics: Starring Archie Andrews! Archie quickly becomes its own imprint, and the only one of PEP’s lineup that survives into the present day. Ads in the magazine advertise an Archie radio show that was spurred by what was a apparently a massive outpouring of interest from PEP’s teenage subscribers. The concept of teenagerhood itself was a new invention dating from 1944. Archie’s reality included things like school, dating, and modern teen problems like trying to maintain a car and deal with wartime rationing.

Also, sending your dog to fight Nazis. (Note: the above are two separate stories; no Nazis ever actually invaded Riverdale. Oscar, Archie’s dog, gave birth on at least two occasions, including during her army tour, and eventually faded from existence.)

At this stage, minstrel-style caricatures of black men appear on occasion in Riverdale (as train attendants and no-account bums who steal clothing out of the trash), and Yellow Peril-style caricatures of Japanese people are a regular fixture in other PEP features like “Captain Commando and the Boy Soldiers”. As a side note, Chinese people are depicted quite differently in Captain Commando. At this point in US history, they were seen as important potential allies in the war against the Japanese. In Captain Commando, they’re drawn like actual humans in comparison to Japanese soldiers. One story shows a Chinese warrior who’s been bamboozled by foolish Buddhist ideals of peace, but finally snaps out of it and gets his followers to join up with US forces in resisting Japanese occupiers. Chinese-Americans were depicted less frequently, but also running in PEP for a time was a rather remarkable depiction (for the time) of a Chinese-American hero: Fu Chang, International Detective. Chinese people would later be collapsed into the Yellow Peril phenomenon in US pop culture and there were some very racist depictions within Archie Comics, but in the 40s there was a different perspective on display for a while.

(Captain Commando and his Boy Soldiers have since lapsed into the public domain; evidently the heroic quality of child soldiers lost its gleam after WWII and reviving the property was never deemed profitable.)

Also in the 40s, many, many stories end with a quite literal punchline in which Archie gets taken out to the woodshed and beaten by his father for causing trouble. This was PEP’s light-hearted humorous fare that apparently spoke quite deeply to a teenage audience of this era. The depiction of corporal punishment is neither “pro” nor “anti”, it’s simply an unavoidable consequence handed down from on high. Archie’s misadventures lead inevitably to physical punishment from an authority figure, no matter how much or how little he’s to blame for things going wrong. Mr. Andrews himself is sometimes a figure of fun during this period, but the 40s and 50s are the time when he most often feels like a self-insert for the writers and artists, who would have been closer to his position in life than Archie’s.

Archie’s position, though, isn’t entirely as the object of abuse. It’s pretty safe to assume that the writers and artists also grew up with corporal punishment and can sympathize with the experience--though they’ve now entered the stage of life where they understand that it was done only for their own good. Archie at the end of these stories is both resentful and rueful; he wishes it hadn’t happened, but there’s no room in the pages of PEP to contemplate a world where it doesn’t have to.

Violence was much more accepted in the 40s, including against the girls themselves--for their own good, in this case, but it’s still jarring to see a man give Betty and Veronica black eyes. Their crime in this case was, of course, being so silly and man-crazy that they nearly drowned him and themselves.

Often the violence was more cartoonish in nature, but it was only in the 40s that you’d see Betty showing up at Veronica’s door with Moe Szyslak’s weapon of choice.

The porter in this panel is one of the kindest portrayals of a black man in this period; the others (and the one depiction of a black woman that I noticed) are frankly unreproducible without heavy content warnings. Also in the 40s, fat and/or ugly women exist only as an object of fun or outright cruelty.

Vague “reducing plans” were advertised in the pages of Archie in the 1940s. This particular method was, as the name suggests, seaweed pills that were also marketed as chewing gum.

You may notice in some stories that the “ugly” and undesirable woman has very nearly the same face as Archie himself; the irony here is very likely unintentional. It’s rarely (seriously) suggested that there’s anything morally wrong with Archie aspiring to a girl much prettier than he is, but an ugly girl expressing interest in any boy is a figure of fun right up into... well, the present day. The Gabby pictured in the panel above her was a semi-recurring character, one of the only plus-size recurring characters ever depicted in Archie. As her name suggests, she was a gossip and one of the undesirable girls, but she was sometimes allowed to be friendly with Veronica or Betty without immediate karmic punishment. She’s also notable because she’s not only one of the only plus-size characters, she’s one of the very few plus-size female or teenage characters. Mr. Andrews, Mr. Weatherbee and Pop Tate all survived the 40s, but Gabby didn’t.

Betty at the inception of “Archie” (the comic) was just Girl. She rather liked Archie and he liked her, and he would try to impress/date her but end up having his monthly funny adventure. But only once Veronica was introduced did she start to gain more dimension, this time as Other Girl. Veronica was rather nice to begin with and it took a short while for them to start getting played off each other as “characters”. There was still little difference. Veronica was always rich and as a result became snooty fairly quickly, but her flaws were the flaws of an object. They existed to create difficulties for Archie, in his struggle to impress her, and Betty was differentiated only by not being snooty.

When Betty and Veronica were allies, it was because Archie had blown it somehow, and they were naturally compelled to be allies by virtue of both being girls. (When they didn’t like each other, it was also because they were both girls, and such was the natural state of being girls.) The panel above--both in the same pose, their identical faces lifted in scorn towards all men--would be echoed in other later stories, whether by chance or by accident.

Their posing in the 40s was frankly pretty ludicrous and transparent in its intentions.

Sexual attraction wasn’t explicitly commented on in the 40s comics in the way we understand “explicit” today, but it’s allowed to exist more openly than in later years. The va-va-voom effect highlighting the breasts would have to become more euphemistic as the decades passed.

In general, there was very little pretense in the 40s.

Artists had no qualms about showing the girls nearly in the nude (I cropped out a panel of Veronica in the bath above), nor about showing adult men leering at them. Even Mr. Weatherbee was occasionally moved by their charms. Generally adult men were “punished” for showing visible attraction, but only in humorous ways. It was more common for the teenage boys to drool over the girls, but the only disapproval shown when grown men did it came from women their own age, playing the role of scold or prudish spinster. There was also the occasional gag in which an adult man was misunderstood as a “masher” or peeper and received undeserved punishment from the supposed target.

There were various write-ups of celebrity activity in the 40s and 50s, and there too the attitudes towards women were pretty much what you’d expect, but even in the late 1940s the realities of life were not entirely veiled from teenage eyes. There was room for what would now be considered adult jokes.

Also in the 40s, Archie cross-dressed, like, a lot, in a way that noticeably vanished once the 50s rolls around. It’s always as a gag, and it’s usually noted that he makes an ugly girl, but in this era it seems to have been an idea that could be poked fun at without threatening the moral fiber of all America by the mere suggestion.

In fact, one semi-famous 1948 story, “The Battle of the Jitterbugs” (reproduced more fully elsewhere) revolves entirely around the girls and the boys competing in a “fair contest’ to see which sex is better at dancing--since boys only lead and girls only follow, it’s impossible to determine who can dance better overall. The obvious solution is for two girls to dance with each other and two boys to dance with each other.

Crucially, the idea is suggested by Reggie, the prankster of the group, framing it as a joke from its inception. Archie, the main character, follows through with it as a means of asserting male superiority. There’s also no possibility that two boys could dance, or two girls could dance, without the conceit of one performing the role of the opposite gender. But in practice, the whole thing does involve a lengthy depiction of two boys dancing together, and indeed, jokingly flirting with each other.

Again, the joke-flirting comes in the form of mocking from Reggie, both en femme and en homme. Archie, the protagonist and everyman, is uncomfortable throughout and finally throws Reggie right out Pop Tate’s door after Reggie goes too far in impugning his masculinity.

At this stage, the usual band of crones step in to punish him for imagined crimes against women, and he finishes the story sitting in bed with a broken leg, making a pronouncement that stands out rather sharply to the modern eye: “Confidentially, Jug! I’m no longer interested in women... or dancing!”

Veronica and Betty are significantly more comfortable with each other. In fact, it’s a rare 1940s story where they don’t quarrel with each other at all! Veronica’s femininity is seemingly unthreatened by the hat and pants, even though Archie Comics would continue issuing dire warnings against women in pants up through the mid-1970s.

It’s hard to imagine they lost after this! The tone of this page is downright celebratory, a rare occasion of early Betty and Veronica working together and coming out the victors of the story, not by one of them winning Archie, but by both of them showing their own skill at something without trying to show the other up. “Battle of the Jitterbugs” is a true rarity in these early years, a depiction of female triumph that doesn’t exactly defy the era’s pop culture as a whole--women were creating their own art even in the 1940s--but it does defy nearly every other Archie story up to the mid-1970s.

[zixzs-ajk]

As expected, he was a bit of a wimp.

Maybe "wimp" was a bit harsh. Ralsei was still a Delta Warrior, after all. Saying he was a wimp was just an old habit Susie had yet to work on (or even really acknowledge). He was just… well, "squeamish" was probably a better way of putting it. Despite his status as the de-facto medic of the three, making sure everyone was healthy and prepared to avoid battle, Ralsei tended to avoid the more grotesque or ghastly sights of blood like the plague. Couldn't even handle a bit of cartoonish dismemberment, poor guy.

Susie also had to remember she had a bit of a leg up on him in that regard, too. Who knew how many R-rated slashers she snuck under the radar by now. That was also a bit of a habit, hence why she'd decided one such movie was a perfectly acceptable introduction to modern films for Ralsei. Didn't have a second thought about the conflict, really. At least Kris didn't seem to care one way or the other.

Well, maybe they did. Susie didn't hear either complaint or approval at her choice of movie. She did hear Ralsei's apprehensions when the comically bloody title card had faded in, and until that point, was ready to sit back and watch the carnage. Now she was ready for… well, she didn't really know, she guessed. Point was, she wasn't expecting Ralsei's aversion to slashers, but actively thinking about it, the case made sense. Even if it was kind of a downer.

To Ralsei's credit, he wasn't particularly vocal about his unease. They'd settled in about a half hour ago, letting the grainy audio of the television fill in the otherwise silent night. Not even the neighbors' lights were on, leaving only the brightness of the screen as some kind of illumination. More often than not, that left the spacious living room they sat in bathed in a deep crimson on account of "Blood-Knife III" being primarily about blood. Real shocker, there.

Kris, sitting atop the couch, seemed confident that their father wouldn't find out about what exactly three high-schoolers thought was an appropriate viewing experience. Susie didn't even know if their dad was in the house or out on some errand. As long as they didn't have any interruptions, she couldn't care less.

Susie had sat on the opposite end of the couch at first, chowing down on the combination of stolen popcorn and candy she'd thrown together (a classic of hers). She had decided that maybe if Kris and Ralsei weren't total dorks, then, maybe she might have potentially thought to get a bit more of her movie-going snackage on, if she hypothetically wanted to share. Or she just wanted an extra helping of food for herself. Unfortunately, the biggest bowl Kris had still wasn't enough, and for every fistful of popcorn and candy she yanked from the bowl, about half a fistful spilled out onto the floor. Hence why Susie was now sitting there instead. Didn't want that stuff to go to waste.

Ralsei had sat in the middle back when Susie hadn't noticed the recurring avalanche of lost snacks, and seemed quite happy, at first. Not only was he getting introduced to one of the most entertaining things since toilet paper, but he was spending time with his two best friends. There was a definite sentiment that he was more than eager to make a note of. Somehow, it actually sounded endearing to Susie. Not that she told him as much, but still. It was pleasant enough that she'd offered her bowl of mixed treats, to which he happily obliged. So, thinking back on it, that must've been why he'd joined her on the ground when she moved there earlier with the bowl.

Then when it came to actually watching the movie, Susie had the odd thought that food wasn't his only motivator.

For the most part, Ralsei had been quiet after realizing what kind of movie Susie had chosen for everyone. It was one of the older ones, where most of the effects were cheap plastic masks and an excess of "blood" in every scene, so Susie had treated it as more of a comedy than anything else. Ralsei, though, didn't quite find the humor in how pathetically bad the movie portrayed itself. He simply sat there, occasionally wincing whenever the more "in-your-face" shots were shoved on the television screen. A couple glances at him told Susie enough. Every few minutes, she'd look over to Ralsei to see him curl up tighter and tighter into the slightly oversized shirt they'd found for him.

It was kind of… endearing. To look at.

Somehow.

What dampened the agreeable feeling was his expression. Not necessarily displeased, but more… scared. With the movie being as laughably over-the-top as it was, Susie couldn't immediately get why seeing some grainy splotch of red and black with a rubber machete covered in ketchup was unnerving. But again, she had to remember the gap of experience she and Ralsei had with this kind of movie. During one of the quieter scenes, she leaned to the side, mumbling through a mouthful of popcorn.

"'s not real, y'know," she told Ralsei, her tone deadpan. Ralsei about jolted from her voice, probably being captured by the movie's silence prior. He hummed, loosening his posture with that continually perturbed grimace. Then he nodded with what he probably hoped was a casual shrug. It wasn't too convincing.

"I-I know," he said back. One of his hands moved to adjust his glasses. Susie grunted with a much more authentic shrug, shoving her hand back into the bowl of food. There was still plenty to go, despite her best efforts.

A contemplative frown fell over Susie's features. The girl looked over the bowl at her side, then to Ralsei's troubled features. He could probably use some kind of distraction right about now. Not that Susie was explicitly worried about making him feel better, just that… well, in a way, it'd make the movie more enjoyable for herself.

Best just leave it at that.

"Here," she offered simply. Ralsei tore his eyes from the veritable lake of fake blood on the television to see Susie scooping out a massive handful of intermingled delicacies, more than a few bits scattering onto the carpet. She'd get those later. Wordlessly, she pushed the semi-crushed clump of candy towards Ralsei, feigning disinterest. After a few blinks, Ralsei smiled a little; the first time since they'd delved into the slasher flick, actually. The sight was kind of endearing, too.

Ralsei reached a paw towards the food, then paused. Confused, Susie tilted her head. Some more seconds passed, then Ralsei awkwardly cupped both of his paws underneath Susie's filled fist. They were a bit smaller than she anticipated. Another delay passed. Then Susie awkwardly relaxed her grasp, letting the bits of food she held spill into Ralsei's paws. They overflowed from the difference in size regardless.

"Thanks," Ralsei granted, looking over the candy and popcorn. As awkward as the exchange was, he did seem grateful. And sure enough, Susie found herself enjoying the movie that much more.

Well, she enjoyed herself a bit more, at least. Not necessarily the movie. Watching Ralsei ended up being more entertaining, as far as Susie was concerned. He carefully moved back against the couch, carrying his bounty with him and probably working out how exactly he was going to eat it without just shoving it all in his face at once. Susie was a little curious too. His relatively higher standards prevented him from just setting the pile on the floor, and the scattered nature of the food also kept him from just laying it on his lap. While the usual stingers and splatters played from the TV in front of them, Ralsei tried moving his hands multiple times to portion part of the food he held.

Three unsuccessful attempts later, Ralsei hummed, looking back to Susie. Then he saw how amused she looked, realizing what she'd just witnessed. A light pink tinted his cheeks.

"Um…" he uncertainly started, quiet. Susie kept her eyes on him in silence, still smirking. Both her hands were purposefully kept at her sides.

"Well?" she questioned. A fake air of offense could be heard in her tone. "You gonna eat that or what?"

The implication that returning Susie's offer would be rude, even though it really wouldn't be, incited Ralsei to nod. One more glance was given to the assortment of food in his hands. More sounds of rubber props and ketchup followed. Then, in what Susie could only describe as an equally desperate and incredible power move, Ralsei brought his paws directly to his mouth, chomping a huge chunk of food before struggling to chew it.

Susie stared at him. He stared at Susie. All the while crunching candy and popcorn as best as he could, cheeks bulging obscenely. An eternity later, he gulped with an audible gasp for air.

A few moments passed.

Susie snorted, then broke out into full-on laughter, throwing some more of the popcorn/candy combination from her bowl in the process. Ralsei had joined her about a half-second later, making a similar mess in how loosely he held onto the rest of Susie's gift. Now his posture had completely returned to normal, the prince relaxing as he chuckled alongside his companion. To think he'd been curled up in fear just a minute ago.

Suddenly, a shrill scream echoed from the television, startling Susie enough to make her recoil. She didn't panic, per se. Ralsei did.

All Susie initially noticed was the movie she'd been ignoring. Blinking, she looked towards the screen, catching a glimpse of the comparatively higher volume now displayed over the array of red the camera was so focused on. Then she looked to the side to see Kris holding the television's remote, an irked expression on their features. They'd brought a single finger to their lips in a "shush" kind of motion. Susie grumbled, rolling her eyes. Only then did she recognize the furry grasp around her, and her eyes promptly broadened.

Ralsei's panic was unique in that, rather than jump a little and accidentally slam his elbow into the couch like Susie had, he grasped for whatever kind of security his arms could find. That security ended up being Susie. He held himself close to her, burying his head into the crook of her neck, face just above her chest. One of his horns poked at Susie's jaw. Weirdly, it wasn't that uncomfortable. Neither was the awkward stiffness of his glasses. Something still felt uncomfortable enough for a light warmth to flood Susie's face.

She glanced to the side for a moment. God, he was soft. Ralsei was silent, still holding himself tightly against her like a defunct action-gripping toy. Seeing his expression was currently impossible, but Susie had to guess that he was more than startled by the movie's spike in volume. Did he even know what he was doing, or…?

For a brief couple of seconds, Susie hesitated.

Aw, he was shaking a little…

"Ahem," she eventually cleared her throat. The noise was almost lost in the television's audio.

Still, Ralsei heard her, reanimating again over the next dozen seconds. He opened his eyes in surprise, slowly peeling himself away from Susie. Didn't seem to be in much of a rush. Susie watched his movements, ignoring the now louder slashing sounds coming from the television. At least Ralsei was also able to ignore them. He handled himself like glass, eventually able to make eye-contact with Susie. His arms took longer to move. If his eyebrows went any higher, they'd probably fuse with his horns.

"S-sorry," he stuttered out an apology. Saying he was embarrassed was an understatement. Susie, strangely enough, didn't really tease him about it, though. All she did was shrug meekly, turning to watch the movie again. Ralsei did the same. Something felt too different for Susie to pay much attention (not for lack of trying, though). The bowl at her side went untouched for a good while. Though she'd been so entranced by the film's terrible quality earlier, all her brain could put together now was, "Wow. He is unbelievably soft."

It wasn't even an exaggerated opinion, it was an absolute fact. Nothing Susie experienced before had come close to matching the feeling Ralsei incited. She wasn't thinking out of some weird fascination with Ralsei. He was just genuinely, incredibly soft. To a level that stuck with Susie so much that she couldn't even find the same entertainment in the fake blood being thrown around on the television. Her hand laid in the bowl of food at her side, still as a statue.

Though she didn't sneak as many glances at Ralsei now, she had to notice that he didn't seem too aware of the movie in front of him either. Some lingering embarrassment ensured his cheeks stayed pink. He was huddled up like before, though probably for a different reason. Judging by how much more flustered than scared he looked…

Well, he had to still be scared, right? If he was paying attention to the movie. Which he wasn't, but he'd probably return to it eventually, so… if helping him forget about it earlier made Susie feel better, then…

Now Susie frowned. That was kind of a jump in logic, especially for her. Her eyes stayed forwards, pretending to watch the television. Meanwhile, her non-eating arm relaxed itself, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible. Slowly, very slowly, Susie lifted a scaled hand behind her, pretending to stretch onto the couch. She had to hope Ralsei hadn't been aware of the cliche since he was still new to movies.

The prince's eyes were still focused forwards. Susie hesitated for a moment, thinking. This wasn't… weird, was it? She just… wanted to enjoy the movie more herself. Like before. Comforting Ralsei was just a byproduct; the means to an end, nothing more. And, maybe, if she found out she wasn't misremembering and Ralsei really was that soft, then, hey, lucky her. The dozen or so seconds he'd panic-hugged her didn't leave her too sure of the fact. Yeah, that was it.

Briefly, Susie glanced to the other side of the couch, seeing Kris with her peripheral vision. Her head didn't completely turn towards them, but she could've sworn they were giving her a thumbs up. That didn't exactly motivate her. It didn't stop her either, though. Swallowing whatever definition of pride she had, Susie untensed her arm, gradually bringing it off the couch behind her.

Slowly… slowly…

After what felt like years, her hand reached about the height of Ralsei's midriff, hovering next to him. Still he was looking at the movie intently. That didn't necessarily mean he was unaware of Susie's movements, but she hoped so. Nearly a minute passed. Then Susie forced her arm to tighten a fraction, and her hand came into contact with Ralsei's side.

There wasn't some bolt of lightning or flash of fire, despite Susie's paranoia. Ralsei didn't even recoil from the abrupt touch. He did straighten his back a little, though. The illusion of interest he awarded the television faded as he swiveled his head towards Susie, eyebrow raised in curiosity. Susie felt a bead of sweat on her brow. What was she supposed to say? Was she supposed to say something?

"Um," was all she could muster. That probably wasn't it.

Ralsei simply looked at her with those green eyes of his. From what sliver of contact Susie could feel from her hand, he seemed to relax a fraction. Then, surprisingly, Ralsei just smiled in that weirdly soft way of his. It had a similar effect to his literal softness earlier. The next thing Susie knew, her hand more securely grasped around Ralsei. Sure enough, he was soft as hell. Almost like a plush toy. That effect was almost… intoxicating.

Weird.

Ralsei said nothing of Susie's grasp, which was completely fine by her. She was paranoid enough already. With that small bit of contact established, Ralsei looked back at the television again. The one difference was his smile. Susie couldn't say exactly when Ralsei had adjusted himself closer to her, as he moved about as slowly as she had (or maybe even slower). But he definitely was closer to her. Maybe in more ways than one.

[camomills]

Title: Next Time Pairing: Silica/Sinon Fandom: Sword Art Online Word Count: 2,431 Summary: Shino visits Keiko in a snowy day. One of them has to open up so the other can, too. Notes: Made for SAO Pride Week - Day 2: Trust. I’m a bit late in posting this due to a power outtage in my neighborhood. Thanks to @thegayfromrulid​ for beta reading.

AO3 Link

-

It was snowing outside.

Keiko patted inside the tall kitchen cabinet and her fingertips gathered dust brushing against the wooden cover. Feeling the cold metal surface of the can she looked for, she grabbed it and closed the door. Following into the next room, she was greeted by a small, fluffy creature that rubbed itself against her legs and purred softly.

“Are you really being affectionate or is it just the food?” She asked her cat and almost expected an answer.

She unsealed the can with the jagged opener, sneering at the unpleasant smell oozing from the container. She dumped the wet contents on the tiny bowl that read “Pina”. The feline’s ears bristled upwards as it gracefully walked to the pot, stuffing its face with the kind of gross-looking food.

There’s my answer, she thought.

Crouching, she caressed her pet’s head, a sigh of defeat escaping her mouth.

“You really are the worst kitty ever, you know?”

The cat continued to munch on the contents of the bowl, unfazed by her accusations. Stepping into the next room and slouching on the sofa in the living room, she stared at the ceiling for a while.

A few hours earlier, her parents had once again invited her to a family gathering, and once again, she’d refused.

She hated seeing her family. They asked too many questions about her time in the floating castle, too many inquiries of years she’d rather forget. She loathed seeing her relatives and the judging stares that they directed at her, and no amount of scolding about “her growing reputation as a shut-in” could change that or convince her to go.

Unsavory thoughts of her time in Aincrad swirled in her mind, but she quickly swatted them away. Letting those feelings fester for too long tended to give her headaches, and that wasn’t the time for–

The doorbell rang.

Her heart skipped a beat. She knew who stood behind the door – they were expected, after all, and there weren’t many people who would visit her dormitory, especially at this hour.

She walked to the door, somewhat anxious. Looking through the peephole, she saw the distorted image of a girl, her black hair tied with white ribbons on both sides of her face. The girl behind the door rubbed her palms together, hands bumping into her half-rimmed glasses as white smoke released from her mouth. The harsh December winter bit into her, leggings and coats and all, and it didn’t seem like the snowfall outside would stop any time soon.

Keiko opened the door, the cold wind sending the hairs of her nape on end. Some warmth from the house’s heater escaped through the entrance. Keiko, whose pigtails were so customary both in the real and in the virtual world they could as well be her trademark, wore her hair down, which gave her a slightly more mature air than her usual juvenile looks. The one-size-too-large sweater featuring a cartoonish goldfish over her chest seemed to act as a proper counterweight to that, though.

She couldn’t help but notice how comically burly Shino looked in her three-- four? layers of clothing. Her wool muffler hid the lower half of her face and she looked like a human spring roll.

Waving a hand, the visitor greeted: “Hello, Silica.”

“Come on in, Sinon,” the shorter girl replied with a smile, and Shino obliged.

The two picked up the nasty habit of calling each other by their avatar names in real life, but at that point, they just couldn’t help it. Their time together in the virtual world made these sound much more natural to say out loud.

Closing the door after entering the house, Shino untied the muffler around her neck and placed it on the makeshift hanger by the entrance, along with her coat. Keiko went ahead to the kitchen to start heating the tea. Taking off her boots before stepping into the hallway, a noise similar to a softly revving engine distracted the bespectacled girl.

As she saw Keiko awkwardly shooing the cat away from the kitchen, she realized the source of the noise.

“Oh.”

Slowly and warily, the furry source made its way to her.

Shino stood still, watching as the cat circled around her once, then brushed its white fur against her black leggings the second time around. She felt a mix of confusion and joy from the unexpected greeter.

**

Shino’s call earlier was a bit sudden.

“Is it okay if I visit you today?”

That was her simple request upon calling. Keiko had invited her to her house once before, and had no reason to decline, but she couldn’t help but notice something off about Shino’s voice; her tired tone, the light rasping, the subtle panic embedded into it.

“Are you alright?” she’d asked.

A weak “yeah” succeeding a short pause was all Shino said. Keiko didn’t push her.

Shino often felt a bit distant, like she’d prefer biting her own tongue off to opening up. A past of hurt had forced her to build walls around herself. Keiko didn’t know how to convey that desire, or even if it was her place to do so…

But she wanted to tear those walls down.

**

“Sorry for the wait,” Keiko said, entering the room.

She quickly directed her gaze down to the creature resting on Shino’s lap.

“It’s okay,” Shino deadpanned, pointing at Pina. “This little guy kept me company.”

Keiko wasn’t able to hold back the sheepish chuckles that escaped her mouth. Shino squinted at the sudden laughter.

“Sorry, sorry,” Keiko replied, shaking her head side to side. “You just said that so seriously!”

Shino scratched her cheek at the odd explanation, the hint of a smile making a way to her lips.

“I’m surprised, too. He generally doesn’t just approach people like that.”

As if on cue, the cat ran away from Shino’s leg pillow, darting back to the kitchen. At that, Keiko again seemed oddly amused, trying to hold back her joy at that simple event.

It wasn’t uncommon for Keiko to laugh at seemingly trivial matters, and albeit she’d never admit, the dark-haired girl found joy in being accidentally amusing in this way. She never found humor to be her forte. Keiko’s promptness for laughter seemed twofold whenever Shino was around – not that the girl knew that, obviously. She just assumed that was part of Keiko’s constantly cheery personality.

Finally setting the tray on the kotatsu, Keiko sat beside Shino, a tinge of nervousness prickling them both as she did so.

The guest took hold of the cup before her, warm ceramic heating cold hands, the lemony smell of honey revitalizing her body. She raised the drink to take a sip, feeling as the hot drink soothed her light shivering and a familiar taste stuck to her tongue.

The cup made a dull sound as it was gently set on the table, a tense silence filling the room for several seconds. Keiko was the one to break it.

“So, is everything okay with you? Anything you wanted to talk about?”

Shino averted her gaze down to her cup, inviting silence once more. She swirled the contents of her mug, avoiding eye contact as she thought on how to answer.

“Nothing in particular. You mentioned I should come visit a couple of weeks ago, and today just happened to be a good day for me. You said something about a movie last time I was here?”

“Ah, I see! That uh, that makes sense.”

Her voice seemed clearer than during her call, but something still seemed off. Failing at getting a read on her again, Keiko pursed her lips.

Maybe this is none of her business. Maybe she should just watch a movie with her friend, and stop being so nosy…

Unsure or whether or not to push further, she took the laptop by the side of the table and opened it, both of them staring at the screen as Keiko tried to remember the name of a movie she mentioned in passing weeks ago.

It might be how long it’s been, or that she only brought it up because she wanted to watch it with the girl next to her, or, perhaps more likely, how worried she is about her friend right now, but she struggles with the name.

Catching a whiff of the scent of the tea again, she remembers – both the name of the movie and something else.

“You know,” Keiko started as she began her typing, “I have trouble sleeping sometimes. Nightmares.”

Shino turned back to her, shoulders instinctively tensing upon seeing Keiko’s melancholic smile.

“Ever since I had to leave home and come to Tokyo, well, I was– am, a bit scared. I barely left the house back then, and then the SAO incident happened, and then, just when I thought things would be normal again… The only school that would accept me was hours from home, and I had to move here by myself, away from my family, and they blame me for it, somehow.”

She said that with a cheery expression, along with a cracked voice that unmasked her grief.

Keiko knows this is a bit sudden, and maybe somewhat awkward, but she doesn’t know how else to get through to her.

Shino stared at her speechless for a second before nodding, prompting her to continue.

"And so every night since, I feel this… guilt that makes me want to hurl,” she continued, clasping her hands in a cute, unfitting way.

Shino felt an urge to reach out to the girl next to her to comfort her, but something inside herself stopped her, wouldn’t let her. She simply clenched her fists.

“But,“ Keiko continued, “you told me about this blend of tea, a couple of months ago, I think? And I know this is silly, but ever since I started trying it a while before bed it’s been better.”

Shino wore a puzzled expression hearing this. Keiko continued, a bit fidgety.

“Uh, well, not a lot better? Just not as bad! I mean, it’s just tea. And I mean, I know this is silly,” she stammered, “but I guess it helped. Tea sounds like one of those silly things people who don’t really… get it recommend, but there was something about it, small as it was, that helped me shuffle a little less in my sleep. So,” she sounded a bit embarrassed saying the last part, “it’s like you helped me, in a way.”

Keiko put her hand over Shino’s, amber eyes uncharacteristically piercing as she stared the sniper down, a firm, reassuring squeeze draped over Shino’s knuckles.

“Now, I get the feeling you asked to come here for a reason. Because you had something troubling you.”

A short silence followed, and Shino just stared, perhaps a little more stoic than intended.

“… And I guess, I want to help you, too?”

She thought it was a bit embarrassing making her comfort pitch following a talk about the magical wonders of tea for anxiety, but at the same time she couldn't think of anything better to say. She just figured opening up first would be the best route there.

Keiko started fumbling, scratching her neck awkwardly.

"W-well, not that it’s uh, my place to say any of that, or like you have to talk to me about anything! I’m just rambling here, really! Haha!”

Shino laughed sheepishly as Keiko’s ears turn pink through her clarification, and a small “it’s fine, it’s fine,” is all she said before going back to silence. Given a moment, she grasped Keiko’s hand in return, her calm voice breaking the silence.

“I get nightmares too,” she confessed. “And, honestly, I’m afraid of being alone with my thoughts for too long, being all by myself in my apartment.” She fiddled with her fingers a bit, as if to focus on something keep herself talking.

“I guess I just wanted to hear someone’s voice. Be with someone for a while. You were one of the first people who came to mind, really.”

Sinon thought back to a few months ago – before BoB, before meeting Kirito, before meeting Silica and his other friends, and she can’t imagine herself being so frank to someone like this. The fog in her mind that tried to close others off seemed thinner. Easier to navigate through, if only slightly.

Keiko wasn't quite sure how to react at first. She just squeezed the other girl’s hand tighter; to remind her that she’s there. She’s a little surprised Shino puts enough trust in her to tell her this – honored, in a way. She felt a prickling in her eyes that threatened to turn into tears, but she knew that wasn’t the time.

“I’m, I’m glad, that I can be a person like that for you. I understand how it can be, to feel like you can’t talk about these thoughts with anyone, but…”

She moves her face closer to Shino’s.

“… You don’t have to, you know. If you’re okay with me.”

Keiko took note of how smitten Shino’s gaze looked at her, and finally noticed their faces were almost touching. Both girls’ cheeks tinted with a faint red at that moment, hearts skipping the same beat.

Shino quickly averted her gaze from Keiko’s, who in turn chuckled at the display of bashfulness that seemed more and more common for the girl she once perceived as a cold markswoman.

A wandering hand reached out from behind Shino’s neck to her shoulder, gently pulling her closer to the girl sitting next to her. The warmth brought her a sense of tranquility.

“You don’t have to be so shy about those things next time, you know,” Keiko’s soft voice explained.

“I’ll keep that in mind… next time,” Shino replied warmly, the last part uttered with a certain longing to it. She playfully bumped her shoulder against Keiko’s.

Shino leaned in closer and laid her head against Keiko’s shoulder, making herself comfortable as they finally started the movie waiting on the nearby laptop’s screen.

They didn’t know how much time they had to be like that, hands interwoven under the heated table, cozily leaning onto each other. They did know that then, however, nothing could touch them – the swirling white cold dancing through the biting winter winds outside, the expectations of judging relatives, the foreboding loneliness of an empty apartment. That small dormitory, with its small laptop, was their bunker, offering them the chance to be together.

When they were together. Those were the moments they could allow their worries to melt away like driven snow.

[spaceorphan18]

Marvel Movie Night: Blade

I’m kicking off my Marvel Movie Nights with the first decently produced major motion picture based on a Marvel property with Blade.  Before then, it’s really, really bad direct to video or completely unreleased films (which I may or may not get to at a later date) and Howard the Duck, which is bad enough by reputation that I just couldn’t bring myself to start there.  

So, here I am, at Blade, a film about a half vampire who hunts other vampires.  I really expected this film to really suck.  I really did.  But surprisingly, it’s not that bad! It’s not great or anything, but I’d definitely rewatch this over any of the 90s Batman films.  Blade came out in 1998, just as Superhero films were getting into a lot of black leather and techno, and kind of feels like a relic of that time period.  I’m unfamiliar with the director - Stephen Norrington (who apparently has only done four films), but considering this film actually functions on a competent level and suffers only from a pedestrian plot and lacking special effects, I have to say he did an adequate job!  

 The funniest thing, to me, about this film is how hilariously by-the-numbers superhero-esque this film is.  Brooding superhero who lost his parents at a young age? Check! Superhero forced to face whether he wants his powers or not? Check! Older mentor who dies half way through the film? Check! Love interest with special skills and is used for bait? Check! Bad guy with a quirky sidekick who wants to take over the world? Check! People claim the MCU is formulaic - but hey, I think the two hour action flick had a standard structure way before the MCU grabbed hold of it.  

Nothing about this film feels original - but I’m looking at it with twenty more years of experience.  The only worth talking about superhero films that came out before this one were all Superman (heroic and innocent) and Batman (gritty and weirdly dark then just straight up campy) films.  While Blade seems basic and unoriginal now, at least it had its own style and isn’t as campy, cheesy, or overly Burton-esque as the DC films of the time.  Blade is also rated R, so I expected it to be a bit more explicit than it was.  Yeah, there’s an abundance of blood everywhere, but it’s so fake looking that it feels almost cartoonish, and the only other reason it’s has that rating is all the f-bombs dropped.  (The villains know they’re in an r-rated film, every time they drop an f-bomb, there’s a hard emphsis on it -- I know I’m in this fucking movie.  It’s kind of hilarious.)  

I kind of expected there to be some partial nudity - but there wasn’t, to my surprise.  Usually R rating means boobs flying everywhere, and this film was pretty tasteful when it came to that.  Good for them. 

The action sequences aren’t bad, but suffers a little from the one-on-one style.  (Ngl, this was produced by New Line, the same company that did the original TMNT film, and there was something about this that reminded me of that, though I’m hard put to say what, exactly.) There isn’t much in the way of special effects, but that’s for the better - because the few times they melt a vampire or one explodes or something it’s… not great.  But being in the late-90s, I’ll give them a pass.  It could be much, much worse.  

Wesley Snipes famously plays Blade, half vampire himself, out to kill all the vampires because, well, vampires suck.  Can’t say I know that much about Blade from the comics (I haven’t read much with him in it) but I think Snipes really embodies Blade pretty well.  He looks good.  Fights pretty well.  And Blade has such little dialogue, not a whole lot of acting is necessary.  He does, every once in a while, have some random one-liners, which injects a little humor to the film, again to my surprise.  The film doesn’t take itself too seriously, and it’s a nice touch, but it doesn’t get too campy either. 

Anyway, Blade is helped by his mentor figure Whistler - a grumpy and gritty Kris Krisofferson, who doesn’t really do much except give exposition and die so to motivate Blade to finally get all the vampires! I don’t really have a whole lot to say about him because he’s just… there.  And then he’s not - serving his purpose and then stepping off to stage left with some dignity.  

But the main plot is really driven by a woman named Karen played by N’Bushe Wright, a doctor (who specializes in blood diseases!! Because of course she does) who is bitten by a vampire.  While she’s definitely in the damsel in distress camp (Blade has to save her a few times, plus she’s bait, plus she has to do the whole - sacrifice my blood so the hero can go on thing (in a vampire blood sucking moment that’s almost an awkward sex scene)), she’s pretty badass herself.  She can hold her own with Blade, manages to find a cure for vampirism in two days, manages to climb herself out of a pit, and kills a few vampires herself.  And now that I think of it, other than the weird-ish sacrifice moment, there’s no romantic tension between the two of them the whole movie.  Interesting.  

Granted Blade’s so focused on his own mission that he doesn’t have time for any of that.  

Meanwhile, opposing Blade is Deacon Frost whose evil plan is to bring back an ancient evil vampire lord and take over the human race.  Because why not.  There’s a bit in here about how he’s a turned vampire, and not a pureblood, which seems to make him enemies with his own kind - but, as you guessed it, he’ll get back at those nasty ole purebloods, too.  He’s got a quirky sidekick named Quinn who just won’t die (it becomes sort of a joke) and a lady friend named…  what? She doesn’t get a name! Why would women need names, gosh…  

Anyway - of course everything comes down to Blade vs Frost and I’m gonna let you figure out how that goes.  

One of the weirder things to happen in the film, though, is that Blade’s mother - whom you assumed was dead, is actually alive and a vampire.  And while him having to deal with eventually killing her is on the table, what’s weird about it is that she’s oddly seductive towards him in all her scenes with him.  Why? I don’t know.  It’s super uncomfortable that she’s basically coming on to her son.  But, that was the only real unexpected thing that happened in the whole movie.   

Rating: 3 out 5 Silver Stakes.  Overall, it’s not a deep film.  There’s nothing new here that you haven’t seen a thousand times other place, and probably done better.  But I give it credit for being the actual first black led superhero film (the black cast is great! It should really be recognized more for that).  And it is a fun film for the mindless vampire hunting flick that it is.

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

Essay on my opinion about shock humor and gore in animation under the cut, please note that everything stated in this post is my own point of view and that I’m not setting myself up as an authority who thinks that his word is somehow what everyone should think (*cough* Nostalgia Critic *cough*) but this is a topic which I have thought about for a bit so I wanted to write about it and get my own views straightened out. 

Basing your whole career on shock humor is a bad idea. It gets boring after the first time and generally you need to have more types of humor at your disposal to be able to have a well-rounded career in comedy. It’s the equivalent of jump scares in horror--they can be done well and used to great effect, but only if your film isn’t just “Jump Scare--the Movie!” 

In animation aimed at adults, shock humor ABOUNDS, and there’s a stereotype that it has to do the joke of having a character get seriously injured and have it be really gory. This is something that is especially prevalent in things that have come out since the 2000s, with the idea being that in order to push the envelope of what’s acceptable on TV, we have to show more gore than ever before, and the whole underlying joke of this is:

“haha, cartoon man bleed!”

The basis of this joke is simple: since classic cartoon characters don’t usually get seriously injured (see Who Framed Roger Rabbit where the fact that the Dip can dissolve toons where nothing else could harm them is a major plot point), reversing the idea and having actually realistic harm come to them is somewhat funny because it’s unexpected.

The problem is that animation has expanded to the point where death and violence are a major part of them anyway depending on the film (look at something like The Lion King or Into the Spiderverse), and that people have done this same “joke” so many times that all of the shock value has disappeared and it’s boring. 

But let’s look at classic cartoon violence for a moment and see why that works and why it’s funny, before looking at how some adult-oriented shows treat violence. 

When most people think of cartoon violence they think of Looney Tunes, the series that perfected the convention. In the world of Looney Tunes, there are several rules about violence that are more-or-less consistent throughout:

1) Only the character who INSTIGATED the violence gets injured. In the Wabbit Season/Duck Season shorts, Daffy is specifically trying to get Elmer to shoot Bugs because it’s actually Duck Season (cue a ton of fake Rabbit Season signs placed all over by Daffy). Everyone has experienced something like this at some point in their life, someone going out of their way to hurt them in some way, so it’s cathartic to see Daffy try so hard to hurt Bugs only to fall into his own trap and get shot OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITHOUT LEARNING.

2) The injuries are almost never serious or life-threatening. Daffy gets shot a lot but all that results from that is his feathers are blasted off and his bill pushed into a different position on his head (and in one memorable instance, his entire head got blown upside-down somehow). This is because for the majority of human beings, seeing blood gushing everywhere isn’t funny, it’s disturbing, so while we want Daffy to get his deserved comeuppance, we also want to see it happen in a way that is more humiliating than harmful, to paraphrase Chuck Jones (who should know). Occasionally characters are killed in massive explosions but this is usually presented as an ironic twist at the end of a cartoon (the audience finally applauds Daffy after he blows himself up, but as his ghost rising towards Heaven laments, “I can only do it once!”) and they’re back to wreak havoc once more in the next one.

The problem with the “haha cartoon man bleed!” joke is that it destroys everything that makes classic cartoon violence funny in favor of shock humor. The characters who are hurt AREN’T bad people getting their comeuppance and their injuries AREN’T comparatively mild enough that even when they are the villain it’s not funny to watch. And then they just wipe away the consequences in the next scene anyway so there was no real point to maiming the character that gruesomely if you’re not going to own it and have them be dead for at least the rest of the episode.

While this specifically is what people are usually riffing off of when they have blood and gore in their cartoons, not all shows aimed at adults do this, and there are different ways to approach violence that go beyond “haha cartoon man bleed!” that more content creators should make note of.

1) In The Simpsons, some violence is cartoonish and consequence free (Homer strangling Bart for instance, or Sideshow Bob’s numerous run-ins with rakes, cacti, and other various items familiar to Wile E Coyote), while others are serious (Mr. Burns ended up in the hospital after being shot, Homer was in a coma after being blown up and also thought that he could die after eating incorrectly prepared sushi), but that tends to be based more around the tone of the event in question, so it’s flexible enough to give the writers some leeway. And in the Treehouse of Horror annual Halloween specials, the joke isn’t just that the characters are dying but that this goes against all of the rules of the world of The Simpsons and therefore the excesses that they go to are ludicrous.  

2) In South Park, the tone is generally more like real life than The Simpsons, with fantastical elements stuck in for good measure (Trey Parker and Matt Stone having been inspired by urban legends surrounding the titular community that they heard while growing up). Seemingly belying this though is the running gag of Kenny’s deaths in every episode, something which Parker and Stone later abandoned because it got too tedious to try to come up with funny new ways to kill him. It was later retconned into his parents being cursed by Cthulhu so that every time he dies, not only is he reborn but everyone’s memories of him dying before are wiped clean. What Parker and Stone are good at with South Park is in using shock humor as social commentary--their whole movie is about their view of the quixotic nature of censorship and how parents will blame the creators of content not made for children when their kids see it rather than being good parents and being a part of their children’s lives, and this carries over into their treatment of violence. While their creative decisions aren’t ones that I agree with most of the time, I can still see that they are actually putting thought and care into their work, something that absolutely can’t be said for everyone in the adult animation industry.

Which leads us to

3) Family Guy and the rest of Seth MacFarlane’s oeuvre. Family Guy is what happens when you take the Treehouse of Horror segments and divorce them of the context that This Is Not Normal, and add in South Park’s shock humor as social commentary without the social commentary. The result is something where one of the primary jokes is “haha cartoon man bleed!” when the tone is more like a weird heightened reality and therefore it doesn’t “land” as that sort of joke except in the fact that it’s animated. Peter Griffin and the rest are so very clearly not “cartoons” in the way that Daffy Duck or Wile E Coyote are, so it’s basically like if you had a live-action film where people kept getting grievously injured but also erased the consequences of that for the next shot. This is the apogee of lazy writing on par with MacFarlane’s other stock joke, “haha animal and baby talk!!!” 

4) In The Venture Bros., we’re basically treated to a live-action show that is animated, and violent death is a HUGE part of every single episode since the premise is “adventure series with kid sidekicks but done with real world rules”. The joke is that if people acted like characters from those old books and shows did in real life, they’re either incredibly stupid or violent psychopaths. It’s still shock humor, and it’s usually not particularly well done beyond “BLOOD!!!!!” but it still beats out Family Guy because the joke isn’t just “haha cartoon man bleed!” but rather a social commentary about our world. (The fact that their view of the world is EXTREMELY nihilistic is a topic for another day.) 

5) Similarly, the “lore” of the game Team Fortress 2 has a ton of violence but differently than The Venture Bros., where morality is only found in the naive title characters and even then it’s more a product of them being too stupid to have a different worldview, most of the main characters of TF2 aren’t actually evil. They just happen to have the job of Blowing Things Up and Killing Enemies, and the comics even make it clear that in their world, there’s a difference between having that job and being an evil person. They’re also the only franchise on this list who actually do jokes featuring gore that go beyond the fact that it happened and are more akin to the “splatstick” style of Peter Jackson’s early films, which whether or not that’s something you can stomach gives them a point for more creativity. 

All this is a very long way to say that people involved with the cartoon industry need to realize that expecting the joke of extreme violence to be funny in and of itself is both a bad strategy and is making it so any hacks can write a show without putting any thought into it and it gets approved because that’s what shows “do”. And creators need to realize that just because South Park or The Simpsons did something, you can’t just copy them while getting rid of the context that actually made the jokes land and expect to have something good. 

[plldetectives-blog]

My feelings on the PLL Finale

This is the post I promised about all of my feelings about the finale and the show, now that it has come to a close. I don’t have many good things to say about it so I am warning you now before you start reading. If you enjoyed the finale and are the kind of person whose mood (and in turn opinions) can be affected by those of others if they don’t match their own, don’t read on. Unfollow me, because a lot of what I post or reblog from now until I stop using this account will not be positive.

I envy any of you who loved the finale, as I mentioned yesterday, because this show has been really close to my heart, and I wouldn’t want to be the person who ruins those memories for you because I know how easy it is to change your mind about how you feel about something if everyone (or at least the majority) around you doesn’t feel the same way as you. If I were you, I would guard my feelings fiercely (if I were content with the finale) and keep away from all accounts that might make me second guess my views. However, if you are interested and can tolerate diverse views, or if you share the same frustrations as me, you’re welcome to read on!

Starting with the positives, things I liked about the finale:

The music. It really did make it feel like a movie, and I got the feeling that it would be a very special episode (which I was proven wrong about shortly after).

Ali and Emily with their adorable girls. That made me smile.

“I may not be able to see, but I can smell a BITCH from a mile away.” I really don’t need to say more on this except that this has probably become my favourite line of the whole series.

Mona getting her happy ending and winning the game.

SPOBY SCENES! I’m not a crazy shipper (haleb is my favourite) but spoby won my whole heart that episode. The scene where Spencer and Toby are the only ones outside before she asks if she can join him in his room, the exchange that happens and the playing of the scrabble, and the scene where Toby recognises Spencer from Alex were just perfection.

Wine moms. I could have used more of that in the episode.

The way we found out about A.D. Despite not being a fan of the reveal, I thought that was pretty epic and clever.

The flashback of Alex and Charlotte. That was the only part where I got slightly teary-eyed when I found out what the Patsy Cline connection was.

Where it all went wrong (which was, most of it for me):

The time dedicated to the mystery was so little (and no, I don’t count Alex pretending to be Spencer mystery oriented because there was no information given to us at the time) that I felt like Marlene forgot she was writing a FINALE. It didn’t feel like a finale. I never felt on the edge of my seat. I was never scared for Spencer, nor Ezra.

The one year time jump was so useless and done only for the purpose of making emison (fans of a RELATIONSHIP, not mystery which the show has been built on) fans happy by getting them to see their babies. What was the point of the time jump for the mystery? You’re telling me A.D. took a year off, chilled, saw Ezria were to be married a year later, and decided it was time to take Spencer’s life? Why didn’t Alex do that before? It doesn’t make sense. Again, an utterly stupid decision to flash-forward a year.

The British accent. I got really annoyed by it because I didn’t find it believable at all. Some might say it is just because we weren’t used to hearing Troian speak that way but that’s not the case. We saw Archer drop his phony American accent in 6x20 but that helped form his character because it not only worked, but because Huw is British it was done well too. I understand the reasoning behind wanting Alex to sound Essex-like (how Troian described it) but I couldn’t stop ignoring the accent, and couldn’t try to understand Alex beyond it. The_pll_sherlock on Instagram explains it perfectly here: “Whenever either one of us expresses our disdain for Alex’s accent, we get dozens of comments educating us on class. So here’s a clearer explanation of what we’re saying. By a Londoner: No one’s suggesting that Troian should have adopted a more upper-middle accent! 😂 Julian’s accent IRL is hardly “posh” & wouldve been perfect for Alex. I can’t imagine that anyone actually from London would call what we heard true Cockney. As for Essex…two things. Essex isn’t actually in London & it’s not ‘working class’ as many have suggested. But all of this is irrelevant because the reason why we point it out is - as we’ve both said multiple times - that IT WAS DISTRACTING 😩. It felt cartoonish. I found it a little upsetting as I was jolted out of the story every time she spoke.” My point is, Marlene shouldn’t have chosen Alex to be British. Andrea managed to play Mary flawlessly without changing her accent. She used her aesthetic, facial expressions and body language to make us believe in Mary. If the same choice was made for Alex, I may have believed in her. 

This links in with my previous point but just the way Alex Drake was developed and played. I kid you not when A.D. was revealed, for most of the finale I was expecting her to take her mask off. We didn’t get enough backstory and not nearly enough flashbacks. We were promised a heart-breaking story but they failed to deliver it. Yes, it is horrible that Mary sold her and she lived on the streets and grew up without a family BUT we didn’t really see Alex feeling remorse over it. She found everything she did humorous, like someone with too much time and money on their hands. She didn’t show emotion, and that’s why I struggled to believe she was a real person. They didn’t humanise her. Why weren’t we shown a flashback of Alex visiting Charlotte’s grave? Why weren’t we shown the harsh details of the difficult life she lived? Why weren’t we shown flashbacks of her with Wren, Archer and Charlotte?

I’ve mentioned this before here that in my opinion, Troian was the wrong choice to play the ultimate villain on the show. I love her to death but I could not picture her pulling this off successfully. To play a villain well, you have to make the audience somewhat fear your character, or fear for the character in danger because of them, which didn’t happen for me. I found Alex to be comical rather than a villain I could take seriously. There are many other cast members who in my opinion were a much better fit to play a villain. I’m talking about Sasha, Janel, Torrey, Tammin, Vanessa and Ian. First 5 actors in particular, are probably the best out of the entire cast.    

There were not nearly enough clues pointing to Alex. Marlene kept on saying 7B has tonnes of clues. WHAT CLUES?? I found nothing aside from the Wren and Toby scene that pointed towards Spencer having a twin. Even those scenes only make Spencer shady. The_pll_sherlock again, explains my point well: “When you say “I knew it” or when Marlene talks about leaving eggshells, all I think is “well, yes, everyone SAW the strangeness of Spencer.” But those weren’t real clues. There was absolutely nothing pointing to the ENGLISHNESS of a twin (other than Troian’s interview with the bros, but no one thought that then lol) or to other aspects of her story. And that’s why Twincer made no sense. We all saw the physical signs Troian was giving us, but they seemed (and SEEM) random & irrelevant to the plot. It’s probably also why a lot of Twincer supporters aren’t happy, despite being right. You were sure it would be her (even though you could never have guessed the “why”….which was just handed to you). I had a similar problem with the CeCe reveal. But at least in her case, we could see clues in previous seasons. There are clues pointing to Spencer having a twin, yes. #shadowhastings. But Marlene didn’t try to weave them in; there’s nothing referring to Alex until season 7. Remember Mona? Clues pointed to the 'who’ AND the 'why’”. There were probably more clues for people who weren’t A.D. than for Alex herself.

Inconsistencies were also a huge issue for me, as were character choices in the finale. Alex’s motive was to find and punish Charlotte’s killer yet instead of doing that she recruits Mona to help her in her final game against her sister who has NOTHING to do with Charlotte’s death. You expect me to believe that Alex, who has probably grown up without the privileges of most people, would use the carissimi money, not to build herself a better life but to buy supplies (for spying, the board game) for torturing the girls?? Black hoodies. We see Alex throwing them away and then buying new uniforms, saying she hides in plain sight yet we see her wearing the hoody numerous times in season 7. How does that make any sense?

Mary Drake. Why didn’t she tell Spencer she had a twin? Why was she working for her if she cared so much for Spencer? Why was she at the blind school when Alex shot Spencer? Her character makes no sense to me anymore.

Interviews

This was the thing that let me down the most - lies and building false expectations of fans. Setting aside Marlene comments (because we know by this point she lies as much as she breathes), Keegan lied in SO many interviews claiming, the reveal makes the show “rewatable”, it “ties a lot of plot points” and “it’s so clearly in every episode.” Lucy said it’s “the real A”, Janel said clues are “sprinkled throughout the series”, Ashley said this person has been behind “all of this” and “for the last 7 years.” Not a single of those statements is true, or close to it. Why would you say that, I want to ask these people. You literally told us to expect this explosive reveal that’ll tie all 7 seasons AND clues will go all the way back, and now knowing that they don’t no wonder so many of us are deeply hurt by it. All that time theorising, rewatching the whole series the way I did, I’ll never get back the time that I wasted. Even when I go back to rewatch the show (I don’t even know when that’ll happen), I’ll never be able to watch an episode the same way again. Plot holes will remain just that, and I will forever dwell on the missed opportunities in the plot lines that would have made the show end amazingly.

Marlene didn’t write this finale for us that began watching this show to find out what happened to Alison, she wrote it for those who have been cheering on the problematic Ezria romance ever since their famous kiss in the bathroom. She wrote it for those who wanted Emison together despite the fact that Alison is not a good person. The saddest thing of all is, Marlene and her team of writers forgot about the people who made this show what it became, and she forgot what Pretty Little liars was really about - a mystery.

[themovieblogonline]

Deadpool & Wolverine Review: A Bloody, Action-Packed Marvel Adventure

“Deadpool & Wolverine” heralds Deadpool’s eagerly anticipated inclusion in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, along with the unexpected, jaw-dropping addition of Wolverine. Finally, fans get their wish to see Deadpool and Wolverine unite on screen in a film that remains true to Deadpool’s irreverent spirit and opens doors to exciting new stories within the expansive MCU landscape. Deadpool & Wolverine Review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjX4shWoK7k The Good: Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman worked perfectly. Their chemistry was outstanding. Both actors gave excellent performances in the characters they know all too well. I appreciated that Jackman maintained his character's gruff and stern composure and allowed Reynolds to be the comic relief expected from Deadpool. There was also an emotional element to the story, which both actors were able to really dial in during the more dramatic moments in the story. You really felt bad when Wolverine verbally digs into Deadpool. You also connect with Wolverine's pain when you learn more of his backstory. All of that was elevated thanks to both actors' performances. Deadpool And Wolverine Looks Great Another highlight is the action. From the opening scene, the tone is set for how bloody and gruesome the film will be. The fight scenes are some of the best in the MCU, thanks to excellent choreography. The opening fight and the car battle are standout moments. The action is graphic and aggressive, true to what we've come to expect from Deadpool. The cinematography is solid, enhancing the viewing experience with unique camera shots. Director Shawn Levy captures memorable scenes, including well-timed slow-motion moments and a 2D, side-scrolling shot reminiscent of Daredevil's hallway fight scene. As many would expect, Deadpool and Wolverine delivered a plethora of cameos. The guest appearances were fun and satisfying every time they came on screen. The cameos accomplished the difficult tasks of appeasing fan service while not compromising the story. It's important to note that these cameos will land ten times more effectively the less the audience knows about them from spoilery trailers or internet rumor leakers. Without going into spoiler territory, my favorite cameos were the deep-cut characters from the comics and the more "comic-accurate" portrayals of some characters. To be honest, I even screamed for joy for a certain cameo. Laughing From Beginning To End Last but not least, the best thing going for Deadpool and Wolverine is the comedy. Thankfully, the humor was right in line with the previous Deadpool films. Thanks to Deadpool being able to break the fourth wall, the off-the-cuff jokes about real-life situations were really funny too. The most entertaining jokes were all the ones that poked fun at Marvel Studios itself. The self-awareness of the multiverse saga, Phase 4, and so much more felt refreshing when they were made at Marvel's expense. The Bad: One of the main weaknesses of Deadpool and Wolverine is the writing of some characters. Cassandra Nova came off as one-dimensional. Despite being a terrifying villain, her character could've used more backstory. She felt like a shoe-horned villain with little to no real connection to Deadpool. Mr. Paradox is another character poorly served by the writing. His motivations are not compelling, and his character seems cartoonish at times. Matthew Macfadyen's performance doesn't help, especially when he engages in comedic moments. His best scenes are when he plays "the straight man" opposite Deadpool. There were moments when his character was written to be funny, and I thought it disrupted the chemistry and flow. Unnecessary Spoilers Finally, while this isn't a major flaw of the film, the marketing of the film did have a bit of a negative impact. There's a character that was advertised in the movie that took away some of the impact of their appearance. The film set up audiences in a way that made this character's arrival feel like a real surprise. However, if you were one of the audience members who saw the final trailer from Marvel, or the numerous thumbnail images from news outlets about this character, then that's just one more surprise taken away from your movie-going experience. The Verdict: Deadpool and Wolverine was a bloody, action-packed, cameo-fest all wrapped up in a heartwarming love letter to Marvel fans. All of the fun comic references, Easter eggs, and cameos make this sequel the most Marvely MCU film since Spider-Man: No Way Home. It was a great sendoff to the Fox universe and more importantly, it's probably the best Deadpool sequel. I cannot express enough how gratifying it was to see Marvel recognize and acknowledge, even through its characters, that they know they've fallen short with their recent films. Deadpool and Wolverine gives me a spark of hope that the MCU isn't dying and is fully capable of capturing the magic audiences have grown to love over the past decade. Final Thoughts As for saving the MCU, that depends on your definition. If it means breaking the trend of disappointing movies with a good film, then yes, this film gives the MCU a great adrenaline shot. If it means bringing a clearer sense of direction for the MCU, then no, this movie didn't accomplish that. Either way, this was a very good Deadpool sequel. It felt more like a standalone film than a sort of pre-Avengers setup. Keep your expectations in check. There's plenty of rewatch value and laughs. There's only one post-credit scene, which is a joke from earlier in the movie. Be sure to check out Deadpool and Wolverine in theaters.     Director: Shawn Levy Writer(s): Shawn Levy, Wendy Molyneux, Lizzie Molyneux-Logelin Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Emma Corrin, Morena Baccarin, Rob Delaney, Leslie Uggams, Karan Soni, and Matthew Macfadyen Deadpool  & Wolverine comes to select theaters July 26, 2024. Be sure to follow E-Man’s Movie Reviews on Facebook, Subscribe on YouTube, or follow me on Twitter/IG @EmansReviews for even more movie news and reviews!