#i did a rewatch of basically everything the past few days which led me to make this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

boognish-worshipper · 4 years ago

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ok so like i had this idea for a while n it took me MONTHS to finish bc i was nvr content w/ my writing n whatnot yadda yadda yadda anyway,, this is basically a what if thing about the triads shooting trevor in ludendorff n michael realizing how dumb he is

(my apologies that it’s so fuckin looooooong but I didn’t wanna leave it on a short note that felt incomplete. hope y’all like it !!!!! sorry for any grammatical errors or if the formatting’s funky)

Why didn’t he realize it sooner? Was he stupid? No, no. He was just blind. Blind for the past 10 years. Who knows. Maybe even longer than that. Fucking Michael. It always came back to that venomous shithead, constantly ruining everything for him. Did he just... forget? Was he so focused on that bloodsucker when he was “dying” in front of him he completely forgot Brad got shot first? That Brad died first? He didn’t even really think about him when shit went down. Or care much about Brad in general for that matter. The guy was a dick who just worked with other dicks back in the day, eventually joining their motley crew. A fading memory more than anything. His primary focus had always been Michael, who he thought was his right hand man. Trevor always knew that there was something different about him. As frustrating as Michael could be, it still didn’t change how he felt deep down. Michael wasn’t like the others. Or at least, that’s what he had thought. The night he found out that Michael’s lie ran deeper than he led on was one he wouldn’t forget.

He arrived at Michael’s house in a short amount of time. Hopping up the steps he made his presence known, standing in the entrance of the living room. He plopped down next to Michael, who scooted away from him slightly, still not ready for close contact from Trevor.

“Family ain’t back yet, huh?”

“Nope.”

“She’s a Goddamn fool, man.”

Trevor was never one to hide his jealousy towards Amanda. The two had been going at it for years, and it was always regarding Michael. Catty behavior between two people who had complicated relationships with the man, in their own unique ways. Amanda was scared of Trevor, but was never afraid of talking shit to his face. It was never any serious threats whenever they shot petty quips at one another anyway. She knew Trevor would never kill or harm her, all thanks to Michael, who spoke up again.

“Despite all the chaos of these last few weeks, I think I finally figured it out… I know, it sounds ridiculous-“

To Trevor, the thought wasn’t ridiculous. He knew Michael would never change. He would always be a killer, a man of action through and through. He was wasting away on a couch, rewatching classic Vinewood every night. To him, it only seemed right for Michael to keep taking scores.

“You’re back man!” He proclaimed, emphasizing his next line, “We are back!”

With excitement in his eyes, Trevor went on to boast about the little clique they had formed, and how they only needed to bust Brad out to fully reunite. Michael looked solemn, shaking his head slightly.

“That’s not it. I got money, it just makes you miserable-“ Now it was his turn to have excitement shine in his eyes.

“I wanna make movies.”

“Great. That’s great… and uh, so where exactly does this leave me in the second act of your life?”

He felt his stomach sink somewhat, regretting having asked that question. Michael would always tiptoe around it, avoiding the inevitable. But he couldn’t run from the past anymore. It would always catch up to him.

“This is not a game to me! Alright? This is a fuckin’ way of life.”

“I got a fuckin’ family!”

“Yeah, well, I got nothin’! No one gives a fuck about me!”

There was a pause. A hesitation. Amber eyes looked sorrowfully yet savagely into pale blue ones.

“I do.”

Something in Trevor snapped hearing those words. He couldn’t stand the audacity of Michael saying that to him. Because to him, Michael didn’t seem to give a fuck about what happened to Trevor. No matter how many times he lamented to him about everything he went through.

“Oh… Fuck you.”

Trevor rose from his seat, beginning to pace around the room, stabbing a finger in Michael’s direction. He did nothing but stare between his feet, not bothering to look up at Trevor.

“I saw your grave. I mourned you. And then it turns out that everything I fucking thought about you was wrong. Everything! You’re not dead, and you’re not a man.”

Michael shot up from his seat, cool demeanor abandoned in a fit of anger.

“Well, what the fuck are you?”

“I’m your fucking nightmare!”

“Yeah, enough with your Goddamn threats!”

Trevor did nothing but scoff at him, backing away like he was about to leave the room. Instead, some kind of alarm went off in his head, urging him to stay and ask the question he pushed far into the back of his mind. The inevitable was happening, and he couldn’t ignore the need to ask anymore. If Michael himself stood before him alive as ever, then who the fuck was in Michael Townley’s grave? Then suddenly, and ultimately, it clicked for him. Fucking Brad.

“You treacherous piece of shit! You’re fuckin’ dead! You’re fucking dead!”

As it clicked for Trevor, it clicked for Michael.

“Oh, fuck! Trevor! Hey, T!”

He peeled out of the driveway in Michael’s car. God, it smelled just like that fucking prick. It made him want to cry.

“Fuck!” He screamed out to no one in particular.

He slammed on the gas and wiped away any forming tears. His phone began to ring and he saw an all too familiar photo appear. Michael. What the fuck could he possibly say or want right now?

“Fuck you.” He spat out.

“Hey, come on. Where you going?”

“You know where I’m going, fuck you!”

The fucking nerve of him to ask that. What was wrong with him? The rest of the conversation wasn’t any better. It sounded like some stupid break up between two teens, as if Michael had cheated on him with some hooker instead of lying about the past decade or so.

“Trevor, come on!”

“Fuck you Michael! Soon enough, I will.”

He was on his way to the air field, and dialed up Ron as soon as he could. He needed to get out of here before Michael could stop him.

“Trevor? It’s great to uh..”

“Is there a plane I can use? Get me across country?”

“Sure! Sure. We got one fueled up for a trip south of the border.”

“I’m taking it.”

“Is everything okay, man?”

“Everything is not okay. Nothing has ever been okay but I’m going up there to see it for myself. I’m going to see an old friend alright? If you’re where I think you are buddy...”

Trevor gripped the steering wheel harder until his knuckles turned white. Tears stung his eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to let it out.

“I don’t know why I didn’t see it. I guess.. I guess I didn’t want to. Fuck!”

He clutched his phone tightly as he spoke, cracking the already shattered screen more. His voice was faltering, and it became harder to speak clearly.

“Maybe I knew all along. I’m gonna find out for sure and I’m gonna... do something about it! God there was always something wrong with that job, what went down after I guess I-“

The tears made their way down his face. His voice trembled and threatened to crack.

“I guess I wanted to believe- Fucking.. Fucking flea circus!”

He couldn’t hold it in any longer. Too many things began to resurface. Seeing red, he just cried out to Ron, still on the phone patiently listening to him rant.

“Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

“I’m sorry Trevor...”

He slammed on the gas as he approached the airfield. Running over to the plane, he hopped in and began his journey to Ludendorff. As he left, storm clouds poured in and darkened the sky. A thick rain accompanied by the thunder and lighting combo shook the small plane he was in. He braced himself for the rest of the trip there and kept going.

Ludendorff was just like he remembered. Cold, empty, and super fucking depressing. Why was the midwest like this all the time? Sure, living it up in Sandy Shores wasn’t the most ideal but for fucks sake, at least it was warm. He pulled up to the cemetery shortly after landing, and hurried off to find that God forsaken grave. After glancing at each passing gravestone, there it was. The late great Michael Townley’s place of burial.

“Who you got in here..?”

He scoffed, knowing his answer.

“As if I need to ask...”

It took forever to reach the coffin. The wood was brittle, which meant it would be easy enough to pry open and see who was actually in Michael’s place. He had been so caught up in his digging he didn’t notice a set of steps coming at him.

“You’re wasting your time.”

Trevor was wasting his time? No, he was making perfectly good use of it. Michael was wasting his if anything. Flying all the way out here for what? No, don’t say it... Was it finally gonna happen? Was Michael waiting for the opportunity to finally take a pop at him and leave his carcass for good? To toss him right into the grave with Brad? He didn’t want to believe so but hey, it’s Michael. Who knows what he’ll do. He couldn’t bear to listen to another word that came out of his mouth, and knew he needed to get the jump on him.

“You reptilian motherfucker!”

How did it end up here? Why was he pointing a gun at Michael? What the fuck was he doing? He didn’t want to kill him. He never did, even if he had a million justifiable reasons to.

“I didn’t want it to have to come to this.”

There it was again. The fucking lying. That same exact fucking lying that got them here to begin with.

“Yes you did! You just don’t have the fucking balls to do it! But I do!”

But Trevor was also a hypocrite. He didn’t have it in him to ever go through with killing Michael. No matter what the son of a bitch did to him, he meant too much to Trevor for him to ever consider killing the man himself. He didn’t want to think about being the cause of him dying for good.

“I’ve got more to lose than you!”

“Never a truer word has been spoken, brother.”

He said that with as much malice as he could muster. Michael was the farthest fucking thing from being a brother. This was a man he had loved. Hell, still loved, despite it feeling more and more like a stranger before him with each encounter they had.

“Now.. pull the fucking trigger.”

The air was too still. It was choking him, making him feel frozen. Sure, weather played a part in the feeling but this... was different. His blood felt like ice. He couldn’t do it.

“You ain’t got the guts.”

Neither of them could do it. Even if he fired he knew he’d miss. Michael had the upper hand here.

“Take the fucking shot!”

Wait. Was Michael... crying? No. No way the great Michael fucking Townley was actually crying over this. That motherfucker. He’s such a fucking fraud. A coward. Always running. Running from Trevor, his past, his problems, his family and his fucking emotions.

His train of thought had been interrupted when he heard snow faintly crunching not too far from them.

“What was that?-“

A noise shot through the tense air that surrounded them. Woosh. Fuck. No. It couldn’t be- Ow. No. No fucking way. He looked down in awe and there it was, a distinct bullet hole, pierced through his torso. It nearly missed his heart, but was most certainly in a spot to do enough damage to him. He looked back up at Michael, mouth slightly agape leaking with the blood that began to pool in his mouth. Peaking behind him, he saw two figures lingering far behind. The fucking Triads. Of course, how could he forget? It’s not everyday you slam the head of a Chinese mobster’s son into a post. Fucking shit. If only he hadn’t messed with Tao…

He was fucked, and he didn’t know what to do. All he knew was that he felt himself wanting to collapse on the ground. Michael looked at him in pure disbelief, eyes wide enough to pop from his head. Normally Trevor would giggle at the sight, but any noise from him would be a gurgle of blood in place of it.

“…Trevor?”

That was enough to knock him to the ground.

“Mr. Phillips! Mr. Cheng wants a word with you!”

Michael whipped his head back, and began dragging the two of them to cover. Was that supposed to be a fucking warning shot?? The one who shot Trevor spoke in Chinese to the other gunman, then spoke in English to the duo.

“Phillips! You and your boyfriend cannot hide from us!”

Michael grabbed his gun and started firing back, clipping the two in the front instantly.

“Trevor… what the fuck did you get into?! What are they on about? I… I’m not…”

Trevor couldn’t speak. He could only murmur at the man beside him.

“Trevor, seriously, you better answer me because I’m pretty fucking lost here-“

He angrily turned his head back to find Trevor on the verge of slipping out of consciousness, his face dropping at what was before him.

“Ah, Trevor! Shit!”

Before Michael could help him out, a van burst through the gate to the left, and more yelling ensued.

“Get out the van! Go find them!”

Michael panicked, pushing his gun into Trevor’s limp hands so he could grab the dead Triad henchman’s sturdier gun. He fired and clipped a few more men, trying his best to keep an eye on Trevor. His breathing was shallow, and he attempted to prop himself up so he could fire at them too.

“Trevor, what the fuck is going on? Who are these guys?”

“It’s the fucking,” He winced, pushing himself onto his knees so he could grab the side of the grave they hid behind. He spit out some blood that leaked from his mouth, staining the snow beneath them.

“The God damn Chinese, sugar tits.”

“Why are they-“

“Ask questions later, I’m fucking bleeding out here.”

Trevor forced himself to fully stand, his legs wobbling slightly. He fired a few more rounds, face contorted in pain. Another bullet flew by him, grazing his side.

“Fuck! Ow!” He growled.

“T, what in the hell are you doing?! Get down!”

“Fuck off you fucking leech! I can-“ He spit out more blood.

“I can handle this myself!”

He groaned, keeping his aim as still as he possibly could, which wasn’t very still at all. Stubborn as ever, Trevor went in guns blazing. He used not only the gun Michael had forced into his hands, but also the one he had brought with him. Several more shots fired at him until he felt a hand yank him back to the ground. He fell with a slight thump, and pain jolted through him again.

“You crazy bastard! We’re getting the fuck out of here, but that can’t exactly be accomplished if you’re dead!”

“Oh please! You already want me dead you fat fucking snake!” He wheezed out.

“Jesus Christ- Trevor. I already told you-“

“Shit, Mikey-”

Before either one could do anything about it, a Triad that had snuck up on them pistol whipped Michael in the back of the head. Trevor scrambled backwards and attempted to get on his feet, but to no avail. In a last minute effort, he lifted Michael’s gun and fired. For someone who was labeled a lousy shot by his partner, he felt that Michael would’ve been proud of his aim at that moment in time. A clean shot, right between the fucker’s eyes. He grinned slightly, adrenaline still coursing through him. He barked out a laugh, forgetting how much of a chore it was to allow any noise to escape him. It caused him to break into a coughing fit, spitting up more blood onto the snow. He looked from the small circle of blood that formed in front of him, back to Michael’s limp body. He shoved him slightly, trying to nudge him back into consciousness.

“Mikey. Michael. Get up. We gotta go like you said-“

He heard another van pull up. Then another. Fuck.

“You gotta be shitting me..”

Trevor, disregarding his wounds weakening him to the point his vision grew spotty, swapped his handgun for the gun Michael grabbed. He tried his best to prop the other man up against a grave, well out of the Triad’s line of sight. He pushed through any pain he felt, still riding his adrenaline high, wiping the rest of them out one by one. He rushed back over to Michael, who was stirring awake.

“Michael, for fucks sake get up already! Jesus I’m still fucking bleeding and I have to save your ass right now? Come on!”

He was finally able to stand, and Trevor slung Michael’s arm around his shoulder, helping him regain his balance. They helped one another walk through the mess of snow, blood, and bodies to get to the rental car, which surprisingly was still in alright shape. Across the train tracks, one more van started to pull up, right before the nightly train passed through town.

“Haha! Thank you train for being useful this time!”

He forgot how much it hurt to laugh, clutching his side and muttering curses under his breath as the two raced over to the car. Michael hopped in the driver’s seat after placing Trevor in the passenger’s side. Trevor’s adrenaline rush began to die down along with the rest of him. Michael raced out of the cemetery, narrowly escaping the left over henchmen. Glancing over at Trevor, he realized how shit of a shape he was in. Despite not living in North Yankton in close to 10 years, he still remembered where all the nearby hospitals were. It wasn’t ideal, considering what they were doing up there and who they were and what not, but it was better than having Trevor die on the spot.

“Hey, don’t you fucking die on me right now buddy. There’s no way you ain’t surviving the shit show we just went through, which only happened thanks to you.”

Trevor asked himself why Michael was still giving him snide remarks about his unruliness. He figured now wasn’t the time to really argue, but still tried nonetheless.

“You… fuckin’ snake.. you think you’re so..”

“I’m so what Trevor? No you know what- Don’t speak right now, but try to stay awake, please?”

“Mmph..”

The ride out of Ludendorff was quiet. The radio was off, and neither one chose to speak. Michael of course was driven mad by the silence.

“…Look. Trevor I- I fucked up. There’s nothing I can do now to fix it, no matter how many times I apologize. But you do- You do know that I cared about you then, and I care about you now…”

Trevor did nothing but grunt in response, eyelids heavy. Michael sighed.

“We’re almost to a hospital. They’ll fix you up good, and- and you’re gonna be fine. You ain’t dying on me yet. I mean- you’ve survived worse? You.. I…”

He huffed out a breath, gripping the steering wheel tight. The rest of the ride was silent, save for Michael making sure Trevor was still alive and conscious. They made it to the hospital, with Michael carrying him fireman style, seeing as Trevor was very lanky compared to him. He called out for someone to help, using his gift of lying to say that Trevor was just shot by a random mugger, so the report back wouldn’t seem too suspicious. He patiently waited for word back from a doctor, eventually seeing someone come to him with a clip board.

“Are you… Franklin?”

Michael had been smart enough to give them both fake names, but he just blurted out the first two names that came to mind. Right now, he went by Franklin, and for all they knew Trevor was Lamar.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Your friend is in critical condition, but you got him here just in time. Any later and he wouldn’t have made it.”

The last sentence caused Michael’s ears to ring.

“He’s going to be out of surgery soon, the bullet wound was pretty deep.” The doctor narrowed their eyes slightly, getting ready to write the report down.

“You said that he was mugged?”

“Yeah. The guy fired at him and ran off. Didn’t get a good look at his face.”

“Hmm… well alright. I’ll let you know when your friend is ready for visitors.”

The rest of the night was painfully slow. By the time Trevor was out of surgery, he was still hopped up on morphine, allowing him to rest properly for the first time in forever. Michael sheepishly walked in, careful not to be too loud. He made his way over to Trevor’s side, sitting in the seat next to his bed. He hadn’t seen Trevor look so content like that in so long. Not since... those days. He spoke to himself, seeing as Trevor was fast asleep.

“You worry me so much you dumbfuck… why do you pull the shit you pull? I mean.. shit. I… I love you, man. I do. But what if you died without ever hearing that from me again? Is that the reason why you get like this? Shit. Right. I’m such a fucking idiot.”

Besides everything about Ludendorff, it angered Trevor to his core that Michael could never admit he loved Trevor unless he was drunk or alone. In this instance, he technically was. Trevor was peacefully dreaming, while Michael felt restless. He proceeded to fumble around for his cellphone to reach out to Franklin, who had been wondering what happened to them. He knew Franklin would probably be up anyway.

Yo Mike, where u at? Trevor too, Lamar n I gotta do one last job wit him.

Currently in North Yankton kid. Trev found out about Brad. Some Chinese gangsters rolled on us, T got shot. Be home soon hopefully.

Oh shit. Stay safe out there homie. See u soon ig.

Michael let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, looking back up at Trevor. He tried to think about what he would do next. Knowing that visiting hours were limited, he felt a twinge of guilt knowing he’d have to leave Trevor alone for a night after what happened. But it was late, and he couldn’t stay there overnight. He figured he’d have to bunk in some cheap motel for the time being. Just until Trevor and him were ready to leave North Yankton. He spoke to the doctor from before to let them know he would come back the next morning. When he arrived at the nearest shit motel, he still couldn’t find it in him to sleep. He was tired, sure, but his mind wouldn’t allow him to drift off. Even if he did, he would find himself jolting awake, the scene of Trevor getting shot playing over and over in his head. He’d almost been responsible for Trevor’s death once, he couldn’t let it happen for real. What would he do anyway if he did die? He quickly brushed the thought off, not wanting to consider the possibilities.

He returned to the hospital the next morning, half awake from the lack of sleep. Visiting hours were early, and he wanted to get them both out of here as fast as he could. Walking to Trevor’s room, he saw the man sitting upright looking out the window. North Yankton may have been cold as a bitch, but from time to time it had real pretty sunrises. He knocked lightly on the door, and Trevor turned to face him.

“Hey, T…”

He couldn’t read the expression on his face.

“I thought you left.”

“Visiting hours are limited, T. You should know that by now.”

He didn’t say anything in response, facing back towards the window instead. Michael sat down in one of the chairs across from him.

“You.. you worried me. I thought-“

“You thought what, cupcake? That I’d just die on the spot, and you could just leave my dead body there-“

“Trevor! For the last time that wasn’t my fucking plan!”

Their voices steadily increased above the normal level it should’ve been for a hospital setting.

“Then why did you have a fucking gun, huh Mikey?”

“I could ask the same for you!”

“Oh of course, turn the situation onto me again-“

“You brought a gun for what, Trevor?!”

“That’s not the issue at hand here!”

“Yes it is!”

A voice chimed into their argument.

“Excuse me. You,” A nurse who walked in pointed at Trevor.

“You need to rest. And sir, I’m not sure who you are, but if you want to stay as a visitor I suggest you lower your voice and behave.”

The two men looked at each other angrily before sitting back down. The nurse exited, most likely wanting to return later so Michael could discuss discharging him. Silence filled the room briefly.

“T… I meant what I said.” His voice had dropped to a whisper.

Trevor didn’t look him in the eye. His arms were crossed, and he just looked out the window.

“I could’ve lost you.”

The other man still said nothing.

“I could’ve lost you and you would’ve died not knowing I..” He trailed off.

Trevor turned back to look at Michael while speaking.

“Knowing what? You hiding something else from me, porkchop?”

“I…”

“Spit it the fuck out Mikey or I swear to God-“

“I love you.”

His felt his stomach twist uncomfortably, and his hands became clammy. He finally forced the words out, sober.

“I love you.” He repeated, shutting his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Trevor while saying it. He chose to look at his feet instead.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. And I just.. kept thinking that you could’ve died not hearing that from me ever again.”

He didn’t notice it at first, but tears brimmed his eyes. Trevor’s scowl fell and his face softened.

“What?” Was all he could choke out.

“Don’t.. don’t make me say it again.” He said, face flushing red.

“You..” Trevor didn’t finish his sentence. He shuddered in his seat, ready to cry himself. He buried his face in his hands, muffling something incoherent.

“What?”

He lifted his head up, tears streaking his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, Michael.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For.. being like this.”

Trevor was a lot of things. You couldn’t just describe him in only one word. Michael tried sifting through the options of what he meant.

“I pushed you so hard back then I.. I thought I was losing you. I didn’t want to. All it did was make you want to leave even more.” Trevor kept sniffling.

“Trev…”

“Why Michael? Why do you do this to me?”

He wanted to ask him “Do what?”, but they both knew the answer. Michael never let his feelings be more than surface level. He was repressed and Trevor hated it. Trevor continued to cry, and the tears that Michael held in spilled.

“Hey.. don’t… don’t apologize, T. Please.”

“I..” He hiccuped.

“I’ve loved you for so long. Why couldn’t you have done the same?”

Michael kept his head down. He didn’t want to see the heartbroken expression on Trevor’s face. It only made him feel worse.

“You left me.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“But you still did. Telling me that doesn’t change anything. You became another person in my life that I loved and then you left. Same as always for me.”

Everything Trevor loved was always out of his reach. Flying, his mother, Michael, Patricia… He could go on. Nothing was ever gonna be permanent for him.

“But I’m here for you now, T. I’m not going anywhere.”

He finally looked up to see Trevor’s sad eyes burning a hole right through him. His silence told him it’d be a long while before he could believe his words.

“Now.. uh. Let’s get the fuck outta this place.”

It didn’t take long for Trevor to be discharged. The doctors had told him he should stay for another day or so, but only got an irritated response from Trevor. Figuring the duo wouldn’t budge on wanting to leave, he was signed off for clearance. They eventually found the plane Trevor flew in on, and made their way out of the state. Neither one knew if this would change anything between them, but Trevor felt more at ease around him. It would still take time and effort for any left over wounds to heal, but for right now, Trevor was content.

#gta v #michael/trevor #trikey #fanfic #this is my first fic #i’ve never done this before #i really hope you guys like this despite how fucking long it is #sorry for any errors #or typos

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preciouspeterbparker · 4 years ago

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i wish i were

inspired by conan gray’s “heather”

warnings: stepsibling incest (not yet but that’s the whole premise), underage masturbation, underage sex, angst. peter’s like 16 and a half, Tony’s almost 18

word count: 2.2k

summary: peter’s in love with his big brother. no biggie. (spoiler alert: it’s a big deal)

(A/N: okay this has been living in my head rent free for over a month. i've written more, but it's not fully fleshed out yet.

i figured i would post this and see if anyone is interested in reading it before i put a bunch more effort in lmao. this is filth. most of the angst comes later lololol (and more filth).

i hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think / if you'd like to read more!

- bloo)

PART ONE

Peter stands at his locker, desperately trying to blend in and remain unseen as he switches out his English textbook for Physics. The school year is basically over, given that it’s the last week of May but he’s still not comfortable in the junior-senior hallway. He’s always been the youngest (and therefore smallest) kid in most of his classes, given that he’s been in the ‘gifted & talented’ track since middle school. (He’s on track to graduate next year, taking his last few mandatory classes and completing an internship for additional credit.) This year, Peter feels even smaller than usual; maybe because most of the seniors are already eighteen, while as a sophomore, he isn’t even seventeen. He doesn’t have many friends this year, because of it. Ned moved away last summer because his dad got a new job, and, well, he’d never really needed more than Ned before.

“Hey Pete-squeak,” comes a voice from behind, making him jump. Rolling his eyes, Peter pivots slightly to face the newcomer. The infestation of butterflies that he's been harboring for the past few months begins to flutter immediately, tickling the walls of his stomach as his cheeks flush lightly.

The voice belongs to a tall (or, well, taller than Peter, anyway), ridiculously handsome boy with dark hair and dark eyes, walking towards Peter with his hands in his pockets. The cheeky smirk on his face is all but permanent, but the small, genuine smile it slips into is something that Peter holds close to his chest, something that is typically reserved for him.

Tony, his older brother, is pretty much Peter's favorite person in the world. Technically, he’s Peter’s step brother. Maria, his mom, and Peter’s dad Richard got married when Peter was a year old and Tony was almost three. They’d essentially spent their whole lives together; neither of them could really remember anything before. They’ve always been close, but that’s changed a little bit this year.

“Hey Tony,” Peter chirps, reaching back into his locker to grab his physics binder. He tries to act natural, even though he feels anything but. His heart’s going a mile a minute inside his rib cage. He feels a little ridiculous, he has for the past few months. Swallowing, he manages to sound relatively calm. “You read the last 2 chapters of Beowulf, right? Mrs. Herrera gave us a pop quiz last period.”

The older teen groans. Closing his eyes, he throws his head back, a metallic thunk sounding as it collides with the locker he’s leaning back on. “Fucking hell. The final paper is due in like four fucking days! Is that not enough?” It’s quiet for a moment as Tony pauses before he opens one eye, cutting it to look at Peter. “What were the answers?”

Peter snorts in response, shutting his locker. “Not happening, T.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time and lets the left side of his body rest against the cool metal. Three minutes til the bell rings, and Mr. Riley’s class is right across the hall. So he’s essentially got three minutes to indulge himself and the fuzzy warmth that’s running through his veins. He loves any time he gets to spend with Tony. “You’re lucky I told you at all, be grateful.”

Tony wrinkles his nose at him. “Rude,” he scoffs in mock offense. “I know you can remember them,” comes his teasing accusation. (And he’s right. Peter can recall the entirety of the quiz, but he’s still not going to enable Tony.) Then he pauses and raises an eyebrow at his younger brother. “Is that my sweatshirt?” The garment in question is a worn and slightly faded black Led Zeppelin USA 1977 crewneck sweatshirt. Peter’s wearing it over a charcoal and white check button-up. The sweatshirt is one of Tony’s favorite pieces of clothing, he wears it all the time (hence why Peter...borrowed it...without asking).

Having mentally prepared himself to be questioned at some point, Peter’s reply is already on the tip of his tongue. “Yeah, it ended up in my laundry and once I put it on it was too cozy to take off. And it looks good with these jeans and the button-up. And my boots. Trying out a new look,” he finishes, smiling as he pushes his glasses further up his nose. Tony often teased him about the thick, clear-but-slightly-pink frames, but Peter hadn’t wanted glasses at all (he doesn’t need any more reasons to be teased, thank you), but he likes these. They make him look cute, more feminine. More like someone Tony could want.

“You’re right,” Tony smiles. One of his hands comes up to playfully ruffle at Peter’s russet hair. “Looks great on you, kid.” There’s warm affection in his voice.

Peter feels his cheeks go hot again, and he wills the flush to go away. He can’t take compliments from Tony, now- they make him ache and preen simultaneously. He knows that Tony doesn’t mean it the way he wants. Peter knows that Tony would never speak to him again if he knew what was really going on inside his little brother’s head. The thought makes him sick to his stomach.

Speaking of stomachs. “Hey,” he starts as he fingers through the papers in his physics binder, attempting to find the problem set that’s due today. “Did you ever catch up on Hell’s Kitchen? I’ve been rewatching episodes trying to wait for you, but you’re taking too long. You saw the episode where Gordon-” Peter’s heart falls to his stomach and he abruptly stops speaking when he looks up to notice that Tony isn’t looking at him anymore, barely seems to be listening.

It falls completely out of his ass when he sees just what, just who, has stolen his attention.

“Sorry, Pete, gotta go,” Tony mutters once he realizes that Peter’s stopped talking, shooting him a hasty smile and shoving off the navy metal. He skirts past Peter, a slight skip in his step as he makes his way down the hallway.

Peter's swallows and clenches his jaw as he watches his brother walk straight to her, the bane of his existence. The reason he and Tony don’t spend as much time together anymore. The object of Tony’s affections. Pepper. She's...everything Peter wishes he could be, honestly. Tall, somehow a perfect mix of skinny & curvy, bright blue eyes, long strawberry-blonde hair. She's perfect. And not only in looks; she's also ridiculously smart. If Tony wasn’t valedictorian, she surely would be. She even volunteers at the local soup kitchen every weekend, and Peter’s pretty sure she reads to dogs at the animal shelter once a month. He hates that Pepper is so nice; he hates that he can't hate her without hating himself for it.

As if he didn't have enough self-loathing already.

***

Peter exits the bathroom that connects his bedroom with Tony’s after gently flicking the lock on his brother’s door to disengage it, the soft ‘snick’ ridiculously loud in the quiet of the house. He’s the only one home; Mom and Dad are at some sort of event for Dad’s law firm, and Tony went to a party at Rhodey’s house. (Tony had insisted that Peter was invited, but he had to know that the younger would never go- why would he want to be surrounded by drunk, horny, belligerent teenagers? The last thing he wanted to see was Tony and- )

There’s a dark gray towel loosely wrapped around his waist, so loose he has to clutch it in his hand to keep it from falling. He closes his own bathroom door behind him and drops the towel, digging through his underwear drawer to pull out a random pair of plaid boxers.

After sliding them on, the brunette takes a deep breath and lays back against the pillows, arms behind his head. He tries to consciously relax his muscles, the tension of the day not having melted away during his shower like he had hoped. Time for Plan B. It’s never let him down before. Peter reaches for his phone and unlocks it before swiping through his apps to open Spotify. The sound of “Dazed and Confused” fills the air through his speakers, and he sets it to repeat on a loop. It’s a little fucked up, the way he’s conditioned himself to respond to this song, but- Peter knows the whole thing is fucked up; he’s fucked up.

Closing his eyes, he does the only thing he’s been capable of for months: he thinks of his older brother.

He’s growing fond of the new facial hair Tony’s trying out; he wonders how it would feel against his skin. Which areas would be the most sensitive to its touch? His thighs? His neck? Peter’s head tilts back and to the side as he imagines wet, warm lips and the scratch of stubble. Just the thought, the phantom sensation, makes a soft mewl leave his mouth. It’s a little ridiculous how easy he can get himself going, when he thinks of Tony’s touch, of his body. Of his love. In his boxers, his cock shifts against his thigh as it begins to fill out.

The sensual, plucky bassline and wailing guitars of the song drag along, and so does Peter’s breathing as he brings a hand up to pinch at one of his nipples. He imagines the way Tony would tease him until he was whining, begging for release. He supposes it wouldn’t be dissimilar to his older brother’s typical manner of playfully taunting him. Maybe Tony would pin him down like he did when they were younger, climb on top of him and hold him there with the muscles he’s gained from boxing in the garage. The opportunities he’s had to see the older teen breathing heavy, shirtless and glistening with sweat, would be forever ingrained in his mind. The mental image sends more blood rushing south and his dick throbs as it quickly reaches full hardness, drawing a gasp from his mouth.

Peter takes himself in hand, studying the details of his cock. He knows he’s not huge, but he’s at least on the larger side of average. It’s flushed a deep, mauve-y pink, and he traces the line of a vein on the side with the tip of his pinkie. A shiver shoots down his spine. He wonders how similar it is to Tony’s. Is he circumcised like Peter is? Is he bigger? Longer, thicker even? Sure, he’s seen him naked before, when they were younger changing or in the bath, but that stopped around the time Tony was seven or eight.

(Tony and Peter had come home from school one day, and Peter’s head had been reeling over what he heard some older girls saying on the bus. He’d decided to ask Tony about it. His big brother knew everything. ...Mom & Dad caught them kissing in their bedroom. That was the end of bathing together, and Tony got his own room, too. Peter never forgot about the way his big brother’s lips felt against his own.)

A bead of precum oozes out of his tip and Peter rubs his thumb over it, smearing the liquid over his cockhead. Robert Plant’s voice moans over the speaker and Peter echoes the sound as he slowly strokes himself with a loose grip, his hole tightening around nothing. Biting his lip, he hesitates before slipping his left pointer finger into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it sloppily. Once it’s wet, he reaches down and gently presses the pad of his finger against the tightly furled muscle between his cheeks. His breath hitches as the sensation; he’s only touched himself down here a couple of times before.

The tip of his finger begins to breach his opening and a whine leaves Peter’s mouth. It stings a bit so he tries to relax, muscles fluttering, making a mental note to grab some lube next time he goes to the drugstore. He wants to be able to stretch himself out more, to imagine Tony’s fingers, Tony’s cock, splitting him open and stuffing him full. Fuck-

Tightening his grip on the base of his cock, Peter grits his teeth and grunts softly as he pulls his finger from his ass. He can’t cum yet- he’s not done. He reaches under his pillow, pulling out the balled-up t-shirt that’s taken up residence there. The black fabric has faded in some spots, and the Black Sabbath logo is cracked and worn; it’s one of Tony’s favorite shirts. Peter brings the soft cloth up to his nose, fumbling with it to find the area with the strongest smell. There are hints of Tony’s Old Spice deodorant mixed with a scent that’s distinctly Tony, a warm, masculine musk that has saliva pooling in Peter’s mouth. Delirious, fucking his hand to the beat, he wishes he had dug a little further in the hamper, pulled out a pair of Tony’s briefs.

That’s the thought that does him in. Peter cums into his fist, gasping his brother’s name, the sound getting muddled in the maelstrom of guitar and drums. Thick ropes of jizz splatter on his stomach and chest, entire abdomen heaving with his breaths.

He wipes the mess up with Tony’s t-shirt before tucking the fabric back under his pillow for safe keeping.

to be continued???

#starker #starkercest #peter parker x tony stark #peter x tony #bloo writes bad things (tm)

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kats-kradle · 4 years ago

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Hi hello yes I actually found your blog while I was looking for Ronon Dex whump, something there is not nearly enough of, and I just wanted to say that should you ever want to share your thoughts about him, whump-related or otherwise, I'm around to hear them,,, I care him very much (which is why I like to see him hurt... funny how that works).

OHOHOHOHOHO DID SOMEONE SAY THE MAGIC WORDS “RONON WHUMP”????? And yes there is not NEARLY enough Ronon whump!!! Buckle up I don’t think you know what you’ve unleashed by offering to let me talk about this XD i have 43 (i counted thats not an exaggeration) unfinished fics where i whump this man so i have A Lot of Thoughts on this so i’ll try to keep my headcanons and general thoughts from getting mixed up so here we go (also I haven’t actually seen past season 3ish but I know like everything)

Just general thoughts

I just love the team dynamic in general the actors had great chemistry with each other

They don’t whump Ronon enough and that is A Crime.

But when they do whump him OH BOY ITS GOOD

Just off the top of my head I can think of the episode where John and Elizabeth were possessed by those people who wanted to kill each other and ronon got SHOT that was dope especially when it showed the surgery but I was so mad there was no aftercare

Also just the fact that after Ronon was shot the guy possessing John said (about John) something like “if only you could hear him right now he is screaming so loud” or something to that effect and I’m not really a John whumper but oh boy the thought of John fighting as hard as he could to try and get control back because he wants to help Ronon rlly adds to the experience

After atlantis flies and John is going around checking the damage and he finds Ronon with the shard of glass in his shoulder juts the way he kneels down next to him is so soft and his voice goes soft too its great

I haven’t gotten there yet but ohoho the enzyme episode where Ronon gets drugged and then has to go through withdrawal ohooho I may have watched that scene a few hundred times

I just love also how fiercely loyal Ronon is and how much he trusts them

That ep where those villagers were going to give them to the wraith and Ronon literally would rather die than let his friends be taken to the wraith I love how John and Teyla go through like 45 heart attacks that’s one of the ones I haven’t gotten to yet but ive seen gifs and oh boy oh boy does it look good

The way I generally describe Ronon is he’s like a bug fluffy dog. Like he’s kind of silly sometimes and he’s very loyal and will kill without hesitation if it means keeping his friends safe

Also just that whole scene when Ronon arrives when John is asking Elizabeth if he can stay is just like a kid asking his mom if he can keep a dog he found

And Ronon has such a sweet smile also I love it when hes happy (but also I love it when hes in pain)

Stargate Atlantis was very well directed because for most definitions of “good acting” you can see “oh this character is sad. Now they are happy” which I do understand that many people prefer this because they have difficulty interpreting facial expressions but I absolutely adore how subtly expressive the actors are because to me it’s fascinating to decode what the character is feeling. They act like real people and talk in the way real people would and it seems super natural and not scripted, and you can just tell in their interactions that the characters care for each other a lot and its beautiful

Now that I’ve said something vaguely scholarly-like its time to move on to the mess of headcanons

Headcanons

So when rewatching season 2 with my sister I realized the amazing potential for angst involving Kell (his old commander who he killed) so in my mind even though he’s very loyal to John at first it was more of a “you saved my life now I’ll watch your back because I owe you” and he had difficulty trusting any of them but especially John this changes over time ofc but he can’t help being wary of command

I also hc that Kell would punish the soldiers in his division for being “unfit” for battle so like if they broke a leg or something they would be punished (this is mostly just for my guilty pleasure of ANGST) so that way they would “be more aware” of their surroundings and whatnot

Also disobey direct orders was a big no no and you know how laid back John usually is with orders so the first time Teyla disobeyed a direct order after Ronon joined the team John was grumbling about it in a way Teyla knew wasn’t serious but Ronon just kind of panicked and started lying his ass off and saying he threatened her into doing it and he should take the punishment which led to an awkward conversation (awkward for Ronon, it left his teammates ready for some murdering)

He hides injuries because he was alone for so long and never had anyone to take care of him so he just forgets that he has to mention it and in his mind some injuries might not be that bad

Beckett is constantly chasing him around after missions desperately trying to get him to hold still for long enough to do a check

Ronon hates pain medicine because it tends to dull his senses so in his mind all the more reason to avoid Beckett

He is really good friends with Beckett but just not when he’s hurt

Usually he wanders into the medbay after bad nightmares if Beckett is on night shift and will just sit there

One time he hesitantly asked if Beckett could check to make sure that the tracker was actually gone for good

Ronon was expecting to get laughed at but Beckett took the request with the upmost seriousness and ran all the tests he could think of to calm Ronon’s fear

One time Ronon stumbled into the medbay and he obviously hadn’t slept in a while and was flinching at every noise so Beckett made up an excuse to “take some blood to test and see if it would be compatible with vaccines for the common sicknesses humans get” and just like. Sedated him. Ronon felt betrayed at first but quickly realized that Beckett only did it because he cared about him and wasworried. He did try to get more sleep after that tho

Oh and you can bet Beckett goes off at him if he ever ends up in the medbay which he does to everyone but especially Ronon because usually he’s either dragged there or he’ll come in like “yeah so three days ago for the last mission I got hit in the side and now I’m coughing up blood so…” and then will just like pass out

While he was a runner he trained himself to be a light sleeper so adjusting to Atlantis was difficult because the ocean would wake him up every night at first

Also thunderstorms are The Worst to him because 1. It gives him PTSD for when he was a soldier and the wraith were attacking and 2. When he was a runner thunderstorms were almost a death sentence because the wraith could track him but he couldn’t hide he couldn’t hear and he couldn’t see so yeah thunderstorms are real bad for him

He has a constant fear of leading the Wraith to his new home and his new family oh also I decided that he doesn’t know if his mother died or not so every place they go he’s hopeful he’ll see her

This is a hc I had before I knew it was basically canon but he and the team hang out in the cafeteria a lot especially after nightmares they just all gravitate there

Also I haven’t gotten here yet so I’m just going off of what I know but he kind of tried to leave after Beckett died because he managed to find a way to blame himself also one of my hcs is that Beckett would tell him about Scotland all the time and had decided that if they ever got the opportunity to go to Earth then Ronon was coming to Scotland with him sooo ehehhe the angst of Ronon going to earth for Beckett’s funeral and going to Scotland with Beckett but not in the way either of them wanted

On to softer hcs just cuz

He loves hugs. 7 years of being alone would make anyone want a hug.

Children gravitate to him for some reason. Logically it doesn’t make sense because he’s so big and a bit intimidating but children just adore him

He carries extra snacks for Rodney

He can’t swim. Somehow he went his entire life without knowing how to swim which Rodney is astounded by and goes on about it for a minute or so

John took it upon himself to give him swimming lessons. John was a terrible teacher but Ronon managed to get the idea

He loves cocoa, specifically loaded with marshmallows. Teyla jokes he likes the marshmallows more than the cocoa

Wow this has gone on so much longer than I thought it would

So that’s it! you unleashed the beast. I now demand to hear your thoughts on ronon because boy oh boy hes a great whumpee and im not sure ive met many if anyone who likes to whumpe him so im super excited!!

#whump #angst #ronon dex #stargate atlantis #headcanons #this was so fun you hav eno idea how long those thoughts have been rattling in my brain with no one to talk to about #asks #ronon whump :)#(:

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mrsgreenworld · 4 years ago

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Sen Çal Kapımı Episode 15 aka Soulmates

I know it's never taken me this long to gather my thoughts on a new SCK episode. But as I mentioned in my previous post Mike Flanagan's shows happened to me 😭😩😱

However, I also think it's because I had some mixed feelings regarding the episode. I guess while I was trying to watch it live (trying being the operative word here) the problems with the live stream influenced my overall first impression. I wasn't able to watch a good chunk of the episode and, of course, it got me annoyed and that, I guess, mixed up with my feelings about the episode. But after having rewatched it with subtitles I have a full and clear picture.

All in all it was a nice episode, very light compared to a much heavier angst of earlier episodes. I liked that light-hearted moments and humour were back. It was also a shorter episode which served it well. However, it felt a lot like a filler episode which, in my opinion, did nothing to move the story forward.

The things I loved / liked:

☑️ Eda: she was a true star ⭐ (ahah, pun intended) and the main highlight of the episode for me;

as a woman I was so proud to see her handle this situation with such strength, dignity and self-respect;

unfortunately, despite the old gender stereotypes slowly dying out, despite the fact that women are becoming more and more independent and aware of their value, we are still often portrayed as a weaker sex; I am not talking about physical strength, of course;

we are the ones left, we are the ones who suffer, we are made to love men with everything we have, we build our whole lives around them, we let our world revolve around them... so, when they leave or we lose them for any other reason - it's the end, everything falls apart, we fall apart; I am so sick of still seeing it on screen; that's why I freaking LOVED seeing Eda not fall apart, or at least she didn't fall apart for long;

I loved that she allowed herself to grieve, to cry, to be angry and to express this anger straight to Serkan's face; I think we saw Eda go through her own 5 stages of grief; but she didn't let depression take away more than one night of her life;

I love that Eda found out that Ayfer had contacted the grandma and, while her reaction might have been a bit too emotional (which is actually normal and understandable given she's still hurting after having had her heart broken and stamped on), I really enjoyed Eda protecting her personal boundaries and basically saying to stay the *uck out of her life - you go, girl!👏💪😎

I enjoyed the way Eda handled herself at the office and how she behaved around Serkan; she wasn't stealing lovesick glances at him or just brooding, she wasn't overly hostile, she wasn't running away;

oh, and when Seyfi brought that box, how she handled that - a standing ovation👏👏👏, everyone bow down to my Queen! 👑👸

speaking of that box where Serkan asked Seyfi to gather all of Eda's things, how he ordered to put away all her gifts - as Eda put it "he's trying to get rid of any trace of me"; in a way she's right; Serkan is trying to get rid of everything that could remind him of her and their shared moments but we know it's not because he doesn't love her (like Eda thinks), it's because he does and it's too much for him; and it's such a contrast to Eda who actually said to the girls that she wouldn't throw away or burn or whatever any of Serkan's gifts or other things that remind her of him and them, she openly said that she's not the one to run away from the memories; and it was so powerful - seeing the writers make a woman so undeniably stronger than a man👌👏

I also liked Eda around Efe, there wasn't anything romantic, I think it was completely professional and it didn't feel or look (at least to me) like Eda was trying to use Efe for petty reasons like make Serkan jealous (but of course our boy was jelly nonetheless 👽😁)

the little moment with Aydan: it was nice to see Aydan trying to comfort Eda (I guess she earned a few points for that) and I really liked the message she was trying to deliver - you can find love and happiness again;

I loved seeing Eda take that in, accept the message, agree that she will be ok one day; and I also liked seeing her not accept Aydan's support which felt a little bit like pity; Eda didn't want to be pitied and she said what she thought to Aydan's face; was it a little harsh? maybe, yes; but I understand where it came from and, given how insensitive, hostile, rude Aydan had been towards Eda in the past, Eda not really buying this whole support thing is pretty understandable;

☑️ Edser: whatever state these two are in - deliriously in love, flirty, pissed off, annoyed, lovesick, heartbroken - if they're together on screen it's always glorious;

do I like seeing them angsty and heartbroken? of course NOT! but the longing between them is SO GOOD!😍🤩

I loved that they introduced this soulmate theme; it wasn't there front and center but rather woven subtly through the episode: first, of course, pretty openly stated at the very beginning of the episode, in the parallel conversations Eda / the girls and Serkan / Engin; then symmetrically at the very end of the episode - the papers with the names of the drivers for the race, then Serkan being the one to notice Eda's absence, him just feeling her and being led by his heart until he found her - not bad for an emotionless robot, huh?😏😉

THE RINGS!😍😍 glad that they brought Eda's💍ring back into the picture; she demonstratively put it on the middle finger of her right hand; obviously she did it on purpose, she even explained the reason behind this decision - from now on it will serve as a reminder what kind of person Serkan Bolat is; but of course I think there's something deeper at play here; Eda could have easily put the ring on her left hand but she went with her right hand instead, with the middle finger which is so close to where it used to be, where an engagement ring should be - on her ring finger; so I think it's also a way for Eda to be closer to Serkan, it's almost like a phantom of what they used to have as well as of all the things they won't have... I am also 99% sure I am overthinking here and the intentions of writers were much simpler 🙈😆

anyway, I loved that Eda and Serkan both noticed and pointed out aloud that the other was wearing their ring; also Serkan's reasoning "to keep other women away" - why don't you tattoo "I am the property of Eda Yıldız" on your forehead, mister?👀🙈😆 could he be any more obvious?

the coffee scene was priceless 🤣🤣🤣 Serkan was so damn confident that Eda poured that cup for him and then him mumbling "for Efe" under his breath... like an offended child 🙈😆

them fighting looked a lot like flirting and the electricity⚡generated during their arguments could easily power their whole office building - I am sure;

the car ride to the presentation and that presentation itself - while I didn't entirely enjoy it and how controlling Serkan was I cannot help but admire the way his mind works; I also think he was doing it for Eda, it was his way of supporting and looking out for her without being too obvious; this way they also get to work together and even if it's just for work he will be closer to her;

Serkan showing up at that sport motivation thing like a boss 😎 and shamelessly checking Eda out 😏 I mean, was he aware there were other people around? and how is it possible that Eda was still buying the emotionless robot crap? the emotions the guy was looking at her with were enough to melt the glaciers 🔥🥵

and finally - that moment at the sea when Eda told Serkan that he wouldn't have apologized if he hadn't feared for his life; his immediate response was that it wasn't about that, "what if something had happened to you?"; when Eda answered with "Does it matter?" I swear I thought Serkan was gonna take her by the shoulders and shake her;

that jaw tick? man, he was pissed 😤

at Eda - for saying something like that, for being so careless with her life;

at himself - for allowing her to think that it wouldn't absolutely destroy him if something were to happen to her;

but the moment Eda left all anger left him and Serkan just looked... defeated;

☑️ Eda and Efe: might be an unpopular opinion but I actually liked their dynamic in episode 15; as I have already mentioned I didn't see or feel anything romantic and while I still don't trust Efe (him being from Mardin - a coincidence? nope, don't think so🧐) I liked how supportive he was with Eda; I think she needed that push to get back to work; okay, there is very likely some ulterior motive here but at least in this episode he seemed pretty genuine and it didn't look like he was using Eda; he wasn't provoking Serkan that much either;

☑️ Selin and Serkan: a short scene with the two of them in Serkan's office and Selin's reaction to Serkan and Eda's breakup; maybe to someone it may seem too strong but I actually liked Selin calling Serkan out on it like that; honestly I half expected her to find excuses for his behaviour;

☑️ Engin: keeps being a loyal friend who doesn't just offer silent support; I like how he always tries to reason with Serkan, doesn't shy away from telling him unpleasant truth;

glad he was there for Serkan at the very beginning of the episode;

loved how he checked on Serkan at the office and then tried to convince our RoBo that it's ok to not be ok and maybe take a vacation;

then the exchange:

Engin: "So, out of sight, out of mind?"

Serkan: "Exactly"

Engin (spotting Eda coming into the office with Efe): "Interesting how that's gonna work out for you" - interesting indeed 🙈😆;

Things I didn't like / was annoyed with:

❎ Serkan: yes, my baby boy made it into this category - there's first time for everything 🙈😆

just to be clear - he is still my cupcake and I love him dearly but here's the thing: we don't always like those we love;

I think in episode 15 Serkan was controlling and childish; and I completely understand where these tendencies come from but it doesn't mean I am gonna turn a blind eye on this or try to justify his behaviour;

that "Efe left but Serkan is here" scene was intented to be funny and endearing I guess but it was highly manipulative; and when during the car ride Serkan commented on Eda behaving like a teenager I was like "excuse me?! have you met yourself, mister?!" because that manipulation to make Eda go with him was worthy of a 12-year-old 🤨;

❎ Selin: when is she not annoying?🤔 while I liked that she didn't take Serkan's side and called him out on his change of heart, unfortunately, she still managed to make it about herself; it never fails to amaze me how selfish and self-centred this character is;

❎ Alptekin: what a poor excuse of a father and a man he is... almost feel sorry for him;

don't apologize on behalf of your son - he's a grown ass man who is capable of speaking for himself;

apologize for yourself, your mistakes and if you're not ready - then don't go to Ayfer just to make yourself feel better 😤😡;

❎ that almost copy-paste from Erkenci Kuş at the end:

getting lost and falling down into a pit in the forest? been there, done that in EK episode 19;

okay, we had beautiful sea views and they placed it at the end to add more suspense but all in all it was awfully similar and also kinda came out of nowhere;

after that emotional scene between Eda and Serkan we were whooshed into "Eda is not here, let's go find her"; I have no problem with the absence of the moment where she actually fell into that pit - wasn't that necessary - but a scene that could have served as a building block to this would have been good - show Eda going for that walk.

And... that's pretty much it.

Gonna get down to episode 16 now

#sen çal kapımı #sen cal kapimi #sck #sck episode 15 #sck episode 15 thoughts #sen çal kapımı episode 15 thoughts #edser #eda ve serkan #eda x serkan #eda yıldız #eda yildiz #serkan bolat

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xsecretblastsx · 5 years ago

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1x08 - Seventeen Candles

It took me longer than intended (again) but here’s the recap for this episode, which is another of my all time faves.

Once again posting under a break because this got way too long.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

The start of this episode is hilarious. There’s being melodramatic, and then there’s Blair Waldorf, guess that’s what happens when one surrenders their virtue to a self absorbed ass.

Seriously the way she describes the whole thing to the priest is so funny. Also 20 minutes? wow girl. Thank god he’s a total pig who will act as if it never happened... yeah

Vanessa? Serena. To be honest I wouldn’t put it past him

One wants to be open minded and be kinder and objective with characters I hated the first time around, but God Vanessa is so annoying

Blair coming out of the church, exchanging her little facinator for those glasses, “one week of danger” playing in the background is just one of those scenes that really got stuck in my mind, girl’s killing it

“Would you consider avoiding me over breakfast?” this is so one of my fave scenes of them, it sets the mood so much.

Nate’s parents are so patronizing

Remember when mp3 players were a thing?... somethings never change though, like parents having to deal with teens isolating themselves via earphones.

I still don’t like the Vanderbilt Ring, also llike “im not asking you to get engaged son, but please give your girlfriend this engament ring” and the way Anne say’s it, Nate’s mom is such a pro at emotional blackmail.

Blair jumping around in her room, thanking God because her boyfriend bought the diamond necklace, aww. Also this is so relatable, the jumping around obviously, not the diamonds.

I sort of have a soft spot for Chuck standing akwardly behind the door not knowing how to deal with his best friend..,this is such a disaster waiting to happen and I’m loving it

Smooth Chuc, hiding the little gift back before Nate notices it (gotta confess I didn’t notice he did this the first time around, oh the pleasures of a rewatch)

Typical, your best friend that never pays attention for once is catching up on the little facts, like you shouldn’t know he broke up with his girlfriend

Though... If the town car was waiting for Nate to take him to Victrola, and it’s Blair the one that ends up using, shouldn’t have Nate realized that Blair and Chuck saw each other last ninght

The good old days when Chuck cared only about three things “Money, the pleasures money gave him, and Nate”, and even then when he’s saying it, is already kind of a lie.

He may have his own agenda, but yeah regardless Nate did needed to put a stop with his parents

She’s been in like three episodes and she already has invated herself to like two UES parties already, wow Vanessa.

“you wish, no you wish” and then the butterflies!!!!! This is a scene that admitedly I’ve seen more than once already and I love it every time. Chuck’s a delight here.

The real first of one of those shared moments of Jenny and Nate... the fist tase I would said.

“Blair about Vanessa being like This is such a problem” you don’t know the half of it.

That little wage was so pointless, as if Chuck would have left Blair alone.

Watching them play guitar hero is making me so nostalgic.

“You didn’t tell her?” she may say it wiht a smile and innocent eyes, but no Vanessa, I don’t buy it, and it was bitchy.

You get grosser by the minute, and you get older” :’) also, that’s a really pretty cake.

Happy Birthday B! What a bitch

Nate finally growing some spine and putting a stop to his parents manipulations.

Seriously how pretty is that necklace. Also I’ve never really thought it but Blair probably wore that dress (which I love) and her hair up because her previous call to the jeweler.

Serena’s face in the end is prceless is just like “oh god no, what a mess”

I missed Lily

Honestly 1x07&1x08 are some of my favorite episodes in the whole series. And this rewatch hasn’t changed that. While 1x07 is in some ways the turning point of the show, this is the first episode that Chuck and Blair are one of the main plots, and since the start it doesn’t dissapoints.

One of the things I love about this episode is how teenage-ry it feels. The focus of the episode is typical teenage drama: break ups, hook ups, a bit of jelousy between the girlfriend and the best friend. Made me a tad nostalgic, and much more interested in the storylines involving the young cast. In part because I honestly don’t care about the Humphrey family drama, and by this point is obvious how shitty Nate’s parents are. Also there was no rufly which I’ve enjoyed a lot the past few episodes.

So, this episode is the one where the little animosity between Serena and Vanessa comes to an end, and it just shows that in the end Serena is very understanding and also really friendly, I do like that it never actually evolves into a catfight, seriously is a shame to see girls fight for a guy, worse if the guy is Dan Humphrey. There was also Nate and Jenny, which I enjoyed because this was the first real tease of what could be between them... it’s also the moment where Nate finally decides that the best for him and Blait is to break up, so far my main issue with Nate is that he lacked the nerve to really do what he needed to do, from breaking up with Blair to standing up to his parents, he does both this episode. Finally

Obviously Chuck and Blair were my favorite part or the episode. Lowkey is a very telling episode about how they see each other, and their eventual dynamic.

One side there’s Blair. Beyond how hilarious it is to see her confessing at church after sleeping with Chuck Bass, one line in her tirade is quite interesting: “he’s a pig who will act like it never happened”. If one thinks about what we been showed of Chuck so far this is in many ways a very logical conclussion. To Blair’s surprise he does no such thing: he seeks her out for breakfest and it’s clearly no interested in pretending it never happened, he’s actually embracing it, Blair wants to go back to how things were before; the only life she knows

Sure last night she realized that her relationship with Nate had reached it’s end, and that there was much relief in that because in many ways her failing relationship with Nate was a constant reminder of all her insecurities, and that relief led her to just be and do whatever, and what she did well that wasn’t on the plan at all. “No one of my friends would understand” and I guess in a way she doesn’t understand her impulses either, and Blair doesn’t deal well with change, and so she goes into denial mode, and that means gaining her boyfriend back.

And so the episode goes and we see her on and on trying to grasp to her Nate once more, and Chuck is constantly there telling her basically two things: 1) let’s do it again because what happened yesterday won’t leave my mind, and that’s weird and 2) accept reality, in this case you and Nate are done. She stubornly holds to her ideas until everything crashes around her, and once it does Chuck’s still there, and she finally sees him, listens and gives in. And just like the song last episode in retrospective is almost a preview of how their relationship is going to play out, their behavior this episode is also a preview of what ends up being a predominant dynamic their whole relationship, the details and circunstances are going to vary, but Blair’s going to hold with eveything she has to what she believes her life should be, the script she wants that it’s probably best without Chuck and him trying to prove her wrong and that best option is them.

Whereas Blair’s actions are consisten to what we know of her so far, Chuck’s actions doesn’t. So far he’s been a giant asshole to all the female population, a self absorbed womanizer who once he got wanted is like “thank u, next”. Sure he and Blair are close friends but still, to him sex is just sex and she knows how he is, that’s why he asked her if she was sure. That’s what we know and what we could have expected of him. Instead he seeks her out, and when he rejects him, he still doesn’t hesitate her and he goes out a buy hers the gift she’s expecting from her boyfriend. Who happens to be his best friend

From the episode where Nate gets tricked by Carter we learned how loyal Chuck is to Nate and that their friendship is really important to him. And yet he doesn’t hesite to try to stir him far far away from Blair, sure the advices he gives him is good for Nate but he says more in the vain of keeping Blair single rather than in Nate’s best interest. Chuck schemes,we know but up until now it was hard to picture him scheming against him.

The more interesting bit for me is however the first scene between him and Blair at the balcony; not only because it points to the fact that these characters are equals “you forget who you’re talking to, so do you” but mainly because of the answer he gives when Blair ask him if he likes her, he doesn’t denies it he even admits to having butterfies and sure he claims he is ashamed and suprised by it even bactracks a little but it’s a very quick admission anyway, and it makes me wonder the why of it. Why is he so eager to explore this? It’s not his style and if he wanted only sex he knows he could achieved that easily some where else

It’s obvious they had chemistry between them, and that in itself may be a good reason, but to me it’s probably because on some subconcious level he liked her even before this. It’s not that I picture him pining for her in the background for her waiting sadly for the day she dumped Nate, more like he was lowkey always fascinated by her, on the earlier episodes there is more than one shot of him in the background watching her closesly, with a knowing smirk and amused by whatever she did.

So there’s this girl he finds interesting, extremely atractive, and also a close friend that he gets along really well to the point of being the one he takes to see his first business venture, and know she’s unattached and he also enjoyed quite a lot having sex with her, and for the first time he really stops to think about it and it’s quite obvious there was something there, fluttering, he’s just noticing it now because he can.

That scene where he gaves her the necklace he has being somewhat in smarmy mode before but when he see she’s hurt he tries to make her happy and as honest as he can be, last episode when it was just a dare between friends he tells her she’s ten times hotter than the dances, this episode he says “something this beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of it’s beauty” the diference in sentiment is amazing because now there’s feeling behind it, and it’s such an honest and tender moment, this is the moment when the posibilty of Chuck and Blair finally takes root in both their minds (also that shoulder kiss is one of my favorite details ever through the show)

For the longest time I didn’t believe he felt something for her pre limo, but the more I think about it especially the way things happen later, for him to be that into her since the first moment and how it hit him when things went wrong it had to be because it was something he had felt in some way for a time, he’s not surprised because he felt something for the first time, I think he’s surprised by how much and because he quite can’t believe it’s a possibilty, this something he never dared to really think about.

Random bits:

Silas was the creepy monk in the Da Vinci Code right?

They actually used the demo version of “one week of danger” in this episode, I’ve heard the actual finished one, but I’m ruined and prefer the demo one.

Search TM, because we can’t use google’s name

Falling like Britney at the VMA’s, it’s hard to think that was so long ago.

I love Serena’s dress, chic and comfy.

#gossip girl #gossip girl rewatch #gossip girl recap #chuck x blair #1x08 #seventeen candles

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brihana25 · 6 years ago

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In “Defense” of John Kreese

NOTE: Okay, here goes. I wrote this weeks ago, when I was still processing Season 2 (which, honestly, I’m still doing), and I wrote it in reaction to some of what I was seeing about Kreese in the wake of it. It’s long, so there’s a jump.

To say I was surprised to see the posts about Kreese would be an understatement. I meant and still mean no offense to anyone who expected more than we got, but it truly baffled me, because we got exactly what we were promised. I saw the betrayal coming from the last seconds of Mercy Part II, and I didn’t understand how other people didn’t.

So, this is me trying to explain why I felt and feel the way I do about Kreese. And for better or for worse, since I’m posting it, it’s open for discussion.

Wow. Talk about five words I never in a million years imagined I'd type.

I watched Season 2 of Cobra Kai within fifteen seconds of it dropping. Once I started, I didn't stop. I didn't pause. I was far from the only one. A little over five hours later, I'd seen the entire thing. I was devastated, of course. We all were. I intended to do an immediate rewatch, but I couldn't make myself do it. I was left reeling, numb, and completely emotionally drained for the rest of the day. Again, that's not unique to me. We all were. And even though I have rewatched it since then, more than once, that feeling hasn't really faded. I'm still having a hard time putting my thoughts and feelings into words. I know it's only a television show, but the impact it has had on me – on all of us – cannot really be explained. We're all shocked. We're all stunned. We're all feeling and dealing and still processing it.

If there is one word to sum up Season 2, it is this: brutal.

And no one was half as brutal as the man himself, the creator of Cobra Kai, the puppet master who holds everyone’s strings and pulls them to make them dance, knows every character's buttons and how to push them: John Kreese.

I know a lot of people are upset about Kreese still being bad. And not only is he bad, but he's possibly even more despicable and irredeemable than he was in the movies. I know a lot of people feel that they were lied to, or somehow misled, into believing he'd be a good guy by the end of the season.

I'm going to defend not only the pre-season interviews that may have led fans to believing that, but also the character of John Kreese himself. And those of you who know me and what I have said about this character in the past will understand what an odd thing this is for me to do. But one of the things I love most about this show, and about the movies that spawned it, are the characters and their development. That does include John Kreese, and it always has.

If you think back over what we were told about Kreese pre-season, no one ever said they were going to redeem him. The Big 3TM said they were going to make him human. They did. Martin Kove said he was "a little bit good, and a little bit bad." He is both.

First, to The Big 3TM's statements that either said or implied they were going to make him more human: they did. They made him much more human than he was in the movies; they just didn't make him a good one. Instead, he is devious, manipulative, abusive and cruel. And those are things that only humans can be.

He's always been a kind of caricature, a stock character "baddie" with memorable lines and no discernible motivations for being the way he was. The most human we saw him in the movies was at the beginning of The Karate Kid Part III. We see him walking down the street, alone, dejected. He is a broken man. He has lost everything and everyone, and he knows it. He has hit absolute rock bottom, and he does not know how to climb back up.

That doesn't last very long, of course. He walks into the dojo, glances at his bills, half-listens to his answering machine, picks up a newspaper article about Daniel's victory, and immediately, his dejection turns to anger. His desolation morphs into a singular obsession with destroying the old man who humiliated him and the child who dared to defeat him.

Terry's words to Daniel and Mr. Miyagi in the garden, about karate being Kreese's entire life, about losing his students (mostly Johnny, we now know) breaking his heart - I believe this was entirely true. It's probably one of the few honest things Terry said in the whole movie. It is also probably one of the purest descriptions of John Kreese’s motivation we have ever been given. There was a glimmer of hope at the beginning, in Kreese's conversation in the car with Terry, when it looked like maybe he wasn't wholly evil. But as we realized later, his protest to Terry that he didn't "need to do this" - didn't "need" to torture Daniel and Mr. Miyagi - was token only. He wanted it to happen. I'd go so far as to say that he played on Terry's love for and protectiveness of him to make it happen. That became obvious later in the movie, when he came up with the "brilliant" idea of making Daniel's knuckles bleed. And now that we have seen just how manipulative and calculating he can be, it fits with who and what he is.

Does he have PTSD? Certainly. He told Johnny as much when he said the psychiatrists wouldn't let him re-enlist. Does it stem from the Vietnam War? Again, there is very little doubt. Is he still fighting a war in his mind that never ended for him because he wasn't allowed to finish it? I don't question that for a second, either. Do any of those things excuse what he did - to children and adults both - after he returned? Absolutely not. Understanding his mind and seeing the world through his eyes gives us insight into why he is the way he is, but it doesn't excuse what he's done. And it doesn’t justify what he may do in the future.

Humans aren't always nice and decent. All people aren't basically good. Daniel learned that when he was sixteen years old. Johnny learned it at fifty-one. John Kreese is 100% human, and that's undeniable. They gave us exactly what they promised us.

As for Martin Kove's assertion that Kreese is "a little bit good, and a little bit bad": he is. This is where understanding his mind becomes vital. Kreese's "bad" qualities are on clear and open display for us to see. His "good" qualities aren't as obvious, and some would say they don't exist at all. That is because his definition of "good" is warped, and it doesn't fit with how we understand that word.

Also, I believe very strongly that John Kreese loves Johnny Lawrence.

No, it doesn't look anything like love to most of us. It looks like control, and domination, and manipulation. It looks like abuse. And that's because it is. It is dysfunctional, and destructive, and based on a power imbalance that Kreese cannot let shift in Johnny's favor for even a second. But in John Kreese's mind, it is love.

Make no mistake about it, Kreese abused both of these men when they were children. He abused Johnny - mentally and emotionally - for five years. Whether the karate training ever rose to the level of physical abuse is debatable, but after what we saw in Season 2, in Johnny's memory of receiving his blue belt, the rest of it is inarguable. The hardest concept to grasp, after watching just that one small memory and the impact it still has on Johnny almost 40 years later, is that Kreese honestly believed, and still does, that he was doing a good thing.

Listen to the things he says. Really listen to him. Even after everything that happens, even after Miguel and Robby, and Tory and Sam, and even after the destruction of everything and everyone Johnny loves, Kreese is still convinced that what he's doing is what's best for Johnny. He truly, honestly believes that he's helping him.

In his mind, he is making Johnny stronger. He is making him better. He is turning him into a good little soldier who will follow orders to the letter, because if he does what Kreese tells him, he will not and cannot lose. He is doing this because he doesn't want Johnny to feel the things he felt. He doesn't want Johnny to ever feel the sting of a defeat he had no choice but to accept. He sees in Johnny his chance to redeem himself for all the losses he himself has suffered, and he will use any means at his disposal to get him there.

His abuse of Daniel is strictly about punishment. He doesn't love him. He didn’t want to make him stronger. He didn’t want to turn him into a winner. His abuse of Daniel was purely for revenge. He smiled about it. He laughed about it. He wanted to see “a lot more” of it. He tortured a child, and he enjoyed it.

As much as John Kreese loves Johnny Lawrence, he hates Daniel LaRusso.

He hates him for forcing defeat on Johnny. He hates him for being a better student, or a better fighter, or a better anything than Johnny. He hates Mr. Miyagi for being a better teacher, or a better fighter, or just a better everything than him. Mr. Miyagi succeeded in turning Daniel into what Kreese failed in getting Johnny to be, and so Daniel - at the ripe old age of sixteen - gets the dubious distinction of being the living embodiment of both Johnny's and Kreese's failures. Kreese will never forgive him for any of that.

And so, Kreese (in conjunction with Terry Silver, of course) brainwashes him. They convince him to torture himself, and they torture Mr. Miyagi through him. They turn him into something he isn't and never has been. They turn him into the opposite of what Mr. Miyagi taught him to be. They send him home every night, bloody and bruised and completely oblivious to the fact that he's a nothing more than a pawn to them. He's a toy. If Johnny is Kreese's good little soldier, Daniel is his cannon fodder.

Kreese loves Johnny, and he hates Daniel, and he destroyed them both. But what has to be understood is that in his mind, everything he’s done have been "good" things.

To redeem Kreese now, to turn him into a "good guy," to have both of his victims forget and forgive him for everything he did, would not only be wholly unbelievable, it would invalidate everything they've been through. It would erase everything that turned the children they were into the men they are. It would cheapen and dismiss everything Kreese did to them.

It wouldn't just "flip the script" on their story. It would rewrite it wholesale.

At its heart, Cobra Kai is Johnny's and Daniel's story. Kreese plays a large part in that story, absolutely. But it’s not his. What they suffered at his hands shaped who and what they are, what they feel about each other, and what they believe about themselves. For better or worse, he is Cobra Kai.

He is their boogeyman.

And if the show is about Johnny and Daniel, then it has to be about them dealing with the impact Cobra Kai - and John Kreese - has had and continues to have on them and the people they love. For that to be possible, Kreese has to remain what he is and has always been.

A little bit good, and a whole lot bad.

#cobra kai #cobra kai season 2 #john kreese #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #i essayed a thing #fangirling again #meta ahoy!

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its-love-u-asshole · 7 years ago

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Franchises, Feuds, and Too Much Tension [fic]

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei/Kuroo Tetsurou

Summary: Sometimes, Tsukishima wonders if his relationship is too good to be true. Kuroo is everything he's ever wanted and more, pardon his cheesiness, and there's never a doubt in his mind that he loves him. Of course, he should've expected a fight like this at some point or another, though he can't say he'd been prepared.The only thing Tsukishima knows for sure is that one way or another, this is all Terushima's fault.

Rating: E

Tags: fluff, fluff and smut, established relationship, kurotsuki argue about dumb things like horror movies and then bang p much

Note: Yooo I managed to actually get something done for @heartykurotsukiweek! I've had this wip sitting in my docs for a while now and then the prompt list came out and day 2 gave me the perfect excuse to finish it ;) and it's smut too which is odd for me these days pft it's torture to write but hey, kurotsuki deserves to get laid always. Big thanks to @emeraldwaves for reading this over!

AO3

Tsukishima was a good, reasonable person.

For the most part.

Therefore, it was important to note how much he did not and would not ever deserve this level of disrespect, from someone he loved no less.

Tsukishima took exactly ten steps into their apartment, not bothering to look at Kuroo until their privacy had been secured. He stopped at the couch, glaring at the few DVDs which were strewn about the rumpled cushions. All good picks, quality thriller movies which he and Kuroo had decided to rewatch the previous night.

He had been a young, naive fool then. Completely unaware of the secrets boiling beneath the surface.

It was like those movies were laughing at him now. Bitches.

How could he have missed it? It was the most obvious horror/gore franchise and yet it had never come up...

Here he was, thinking he and Kuroo were movie buffs when they had never even had the real nitty gritty conversations.

They were frauds.

The front door shut, and the muffled chatter of their neighbors in the hallway was cut off in a split second. Tsukishima could feel Kuroo standing there at the door, staring at his back, but he felt too stubborn to turn around and make the first move.

Man, things could get ugly here. Tsukishima hadn't fully realized it until just now. The silence around them was suffocating, thick with the strain of their thoughts.

Eventually, one of them would have to begin this bloodbath, and once more, Tsukishima was left to marvel at how stupid they both were. Why can't we have normal fights...

They'd never know, but oh how Tsukishima wished they'd never crossed the line into such dangerous territory.

How had this happened again?

It had been a normal night, and honestly, maybe that should've been the first thing to tip Tsukishima off. Things had been too peaceful, too calm, and without a trace of tension in the air when those cursed words had left his mouth, condemning him to a sleepless night.

Perhaps the worst part was the subject matter, but he stood by his opinion, and overall he blamed Terushima for the entire incident.

Some things to take into account before he continued:

1) Tsukishima was right. No matter what anyone said, he'd rather get smashed by a glass pane (ha), than give in to his boyfriend.

2) Final Destination was a terrible series. It had some arguable gems, and it was enjoyable to watch some of the grisly deaths and laugh at the dumbass characters. He'd never try and deny that if he saw it on the T.V. guide, he would click in an instant. Still, most of the films were awful, with less than acceptable effects. Moving on...

3) Kuroo Tetsurou was supposed to be the love of his life, but goddamn if Tsukishima wasn't considering poisoning his water.

4) Addendum. Kuroo Tetsurou was fucking wrong, and Tsukishima hoped he was ready to face the wrath that had been building in his debate club brain for the past hour and thirteen minutes.

Now that the basics are cleared, back to what happened....

They had been at Terushima's house late in the evening, drinking and yelling at each other after a few failed games of Monopoly. Everyone refused to read the instructions no matter how lost they were, but that was irrelevant at this moment in time.

Eventually, they all calmed down as the sun dipped below the horizon and Terushima supplied them with more beer. He and Kuroo had hardly drank, more content with watching their friends make fools of themselves for future blackmailing purposes.

The conversations ranged from embarrassing high school memories, to the famous mint chocolate ice cream debate, most of which Tsukishima gladly tuned out in favor of focusing on Kuroo's hands. Tsukishima had managed to practically seat himself in his boyfriend's lap without calling too much attention to them, the perfect vantage point. Especially when Kuroo's nimble fingers began to massage his exposed hip bones, kneading the soft skin and curves while Tsukishima greedily moved closer.

The touch was familiar, welcome, with something burning and desirous just below the surface. But given their public situation, the fire dwindled, and Tsukishima let himself relax as the ministrations continued. There was no rush, no urgency. They had all the time in the world that Friday night, and they basked in the jovial atmosphere.

That is, until the subject of the newest horror movie came about.

It was silly probably, how fast he and Kuroo's heads shot up, like dogs hearing their kibble pour into bowls, but they couldn't help it. They loved anything to do with horror and suspense; haunted houses, slasher films, whatever.

(Minus the time they'd gotten so scared from one particular movie they couldn't sleep, but no one had to know about that. They'd both agreed long ago on taking that one to the grave.)

But otherwise, it was their calling. They already had their tickets pre-bought for the movie everyone was currently discussing, and they jumped in, scattering their own predictions and opinions without care.

Naturally, one thing led to another, and the conversation turned into a full-blown comparison of different horror franchises, either in support or contempt of the new upcoming film. Whatever. Kuroo and Tsukishima had this shit. They’d made their predictions already, knew the director, had bets placed. So truthfully, this was more of a trip down memory lane of all the shitty and spectacular films they’d watched ever since they’d become brave enough to sneak into R rated movies.

Not to mention all the films they’d seen together, an excuse to hold each other close and makeout during all the boring scenes with dull characters. It made Tsukishima somewhat excited for either outcome. If the movie was good, then he’d enjoy himself and would also have a new movie to rewatch on chilly nights. If it sucked, then he could make Kuroo fall apart, movie forgotten. Wins all around.

So yeah, bringing up both the duds and hits of the horror world made him satisfied all around.

But then, Terushima went and did it, that bastard. He said the measly string of words which would later cause Tsukishima's mind-numbing headache.

"I don't know, it looks like a Final Destination rip-off to me."

And oh, what an insult.

Both he and Kuroo recoiled just a bit, not knowing where to start. What exactly did he mean anyways? They were two completely different plots, new actors, there was no supernatural element at all…

“I mean it looks too over the top,” Terushima continued, smirking slightly at the glares he received from the couple.

“Funny coming from someone as dramatic as you,” Tsukishima shot back, and in true Terushima fashion, the drunkard sloshed his drink in Tsukishima’s direction, eager for a fearful flinch.

Tsukishima didn’t move. A chorus of childish ‘oos’ echoed around them. The stare down between them didn’t last long though, in part because of Terushima’s one too many beers and Tsukishima’s good mood. They both maintained the scowling eye contact for a few seconds before they burst out into a fit of laughter.

Kuroo’s hands tightened on him at the sound.

Horror fan reputation be damned, Tsukishima was ready to ditch the party in favor of seeing exactly what those hands had in mind for him.

But of course, the universe, and Terushima had other plans.

"Those movies were a trip though," Terushima went on as his laughter died, his words slightly slurred from the amount of alcohol he'd inhaled throughout the night. The hiccups made everyone around him giggle. "My far...my fav was the--the one with the cars? The race track! That was epic."

And as predicted, he and Kuroo exchanged amused glances, their thoughts completely in sync. And how could they not be?

‘Pft, the fourth FD is a joke.’

‘I know right? Worst film, best title.’

“Oh Yuuji, how the hell did you get to be so uncultured?” Kuroo sighed dramatically, shaking his head. Tsukishima had to give it to his boyfriend, there was real pity in those eyes. “That’s probably the worst film of them all.”

“Ah fuck off,” Futakuchi’s voice drifted from where he sat, face buried into the couch cushions. Damn, Tsukishima thought he’d died thirty minutes ago.

“Yeah, you’re the ones who’ve seen every damn movie,” someone on the staircase said, and from the tone, Tsukishima could tell it was probably one of the Atsumu twins. Oh, so now everyone had their two cents… “Probably more than once…”

“For research purposes,” Kuroo called back, his grin staying firmly in place. Tsukishima wanted to kiss him for it.

“Oh yeah, well what do you assholes think is the best one then?” Terushima said, swirling around his drink with an air of confidence he did not deserve. It was like he was some rich business investor with expensive wine in his glass and not a broke college student drinking cider out of a Naruto mug.

But Tsukishima didn’t need to point that out, his answer would speak for itself. And it was a no brainer for him. He didn't even have to think as he said, "Oh, the fifth for sure."

At the exact same fucking time, Kuroo went: "The second one."

And that’s when the night fell right down the shit hole.

What.

The observing crowd must’ve realized what an affront this was, what a rare occurrence it was to see them disagree on something so close to their hearts. Oh, the silence which followed could’ve been akin to a cemetery even, but with twice as much dread and foreboding.

Kuroo and Tsukishima looked at each other in an instant, eyes stupidly wide and any other shit-eating words dying on the tips of their tongues.

Tsukishima didn’t have anything to say, could barely process his feelings on the subject. Deep down, he knew this day probably should’ve been expected at some point, but wow, what a fucking inconvenience.

Tsukishima’s mouth opened once, then twice, before he eventually surrendered to the fact they were screwed.

Lastly, the only person who could seem to formulate a response in that moment happened to be Terushima, who simply wheezed in laughter, throwing back the rest of his drink before he spoke in sports bar level excitement. “Oh. Shit.”

Aaaand now they were here. A car ride of silence and two ice cream sundaes (both for Tsukishima) later.

Kuroo clicked the lock on the door, sealing them in for battle, and Tsukishima took one slow, deep breath.

Yeah. He was ready.

The stupidest part was probably how they met each other halfway in no more than five steps. At the time, it felt serious, but Tsukishima knew later he’d want to jump off a cliff.

Kuroo nodded to him, eyes brimming with something so ridiculously nerdy one would think they were in high school mock trial. Basically, it was a look that said, ‘Yeah that’s right. Go first. Bring it.’

‘I fucking will.’

Tsukishima raised his hands, the only thing keeping him from just hitting Kuroo with the nearest pillow. Or…any object really. “Tetsu.”

“Yes, my love?” Kuroo smiled sweetly, and yeah, Tsukishima was so ready. No amount of sappy endearments would change that.

“How the hell can you say the second Final Destination is the best? Did you watch the same movie I did? Surely you could’ve have, dear.”

Tsukishima saw the brief hesitation, the way Kuroo had to smother the immediate instinct to just tackle Tsukishima and kiss the daylights out of him for the petname, but man, Kuroo must’ve been as serious as Tsukishima right then. He powered through it. Damn.

“Oh I’m sorry for liking believable suspense,” Kuroo said, motioning to nothing in particular, as if the gestures somehow made his points more legitimate. “That movie had deaths better if not equal to the first.”

Pure blasphemy.

Tsukishima blinked, shaking his head as he tried to make sense of the words. “B-Believable...wha—Tetsu, a girl has a vision on a freeway.”

Why was the freeway aspect more startling than the vision part? Who knew.

“A believable vision, you can’t trust those fucking log trucks!”

That…was correct, but not the point.

Tsukishima clapped, actually clapped in triumph. “Ha! See! You just like the disaster scene, you’re letting that get in the way of the fact the rest is shit!”

Besides, even if Tsukishima could admit the disaster scene was wonderful, the rest fell flatter than three day old soda.

“Oh, because you totally don’t like the fifth one just for the disaster scene,” Kuroo scoffed, rolling his eyes. “A bridge collapse? Seriously?”

“More original than some glorified car accident,” Tsukishima shot back, crossing his arms in hopes of looking more menacing. Too bad that strategy no longer worked on Kuroo.

“The logs Kei, the logs.”

“If that’s all you have to offer, then you’re not as good at arguing as I thought,” Tsukishima sighed in pity, a tone normally used for provoking Kuroo into…different situations. He’d happily employ it for this fight, no doubt.

The last Final Destination may have had subpar effects, but the ending and the deaths were so well crafted, he refused to let them be overlooked.

“Oh really now? What are your points then? I’m sure someone as devoted as you has more to dish out than insults…”

Tsukishima nearly winced. Kuroo, regardless of his sweetness and the fondness he held for him, had a sharp tongue on him all the same. Tsukishima loved him, but this was not helping.

Not that he was at a disadvantage. Oh no. He would gladly pick apart all the excellent points of the fifth Final Destination if Kuroo wanted him to, but really, his biggest point said it all.

Tsukishima sniffed, aura haughty and just the right amount of bratty to drive Kuroo up the wall. “Why should I? It’s obviously the superior film.”

“So help me, if you say it’s because it connects to the first—”

“It connects to the first film—”

“Kei.”

“—and it does so flawlessly! Admit it!”

“Never!”

Tsukishima turned on his heel, holding his breath as he walked to the end of the living room and back to face Kuroo. It needed to be done. He was about to lose it.

Kuroo either didn’t sense that or wasn’t scared to test it.

“You’re the one letting personal preference get in the way of which one had a better plot Kei, the second one has better acting and—”

“How is tying back to the first one not a better plot? It’s a prequel, a surprise prequel! Also what the hell, they all have the same plot!”

“That’s crap, I know you don’t believe that!”

(Tsukishima did not but okay, technically it was the truth. A director could only take a concept so far.)

Kuroo laughed, somewhat crazed, as he finished his spiel. “Final Destination 2 is better in every way, I liked the characters more, the deaths were better, and it stood on its own. It didn’t have to rely on the first film—”

“It…it completely relies on the first film!”

“—in order to be successful. You probably just don’t remember because you were too busy watching the cash grab that was the fifth movie.”

Tsukishima, had he been more on Kuroo’s level of drama, might’ve gasped, hand on his chest and everything. But no, he steeled himself, squinting because like hell would he blink. Blinking meant defeat.

“The critics hated it,” Tsukishima seethed, as if that meant anything at all. A low, pathetic blow even for him. Was he losing?

“The people loved it,” Kuroo said back, his grin wide and so telling. He thinks I’m losing. Me.

Unacceptable.

The problem there? When Tsukishima got competitive, part of his rationale flew out the window. Therefore, stupid, impulsive decisions could slip through.

Kuroo’s next words were all it took.

“A true horror fan would know, amidst all the movies in the franchise, number two is the shining star,” Kuroo sighed, placing a hand on Tsukishima’s trembling shoulder with confidence all too grand. “It’s okay babe, I still love you, flaws and all.”

Fuck. You.

“Well, we—we’re just gonna have to watch all of them then!” Tsukishima yelled, the fierceness of competition flaring up without control. “We’ll see what the shining star is!”

“Fine!”

“Great!”

Oof.

Or, not great. Not one of his best ideas in hindsight, considering it was already close to midnight. But he was committed.

This, this would surely show Kuroo how wrong he was. The middle movies were a fucking slog and they both knew it. Kuroo would crack in no time, begging Tsukishima to just skip right to the last film.

Fuck yeah.

Unfortunately, he overestimated several things. One, his own patience, and two, his ability to stomach more than two of these shitty ass movies in a row.

Hint: he could not.

It was halfway through Final Destination 3 that Tsukishima had enough, mostly because both he and Kuroo didn't care for this particular installment to the mediocre franchise and also because…as sad as it sounded, he sort of no longer knew why they were fighting.

Glancing over at Kuroo from the corner of his eye, Tsukishima could make out the bored stare mixed with stubbornness and just a tad bit of disgust (the tanning salon death always did sort of freak Kuroo out). Tsukishima couldn't help but grin at the small bit of knowledge, and he cursed himself. Why was being mad at Kuroo so hard?

Maybe it's because you're arguing about Final Destination, Tsukishima's brain supplied, quite unhelpfully.

Kuroo's hands were clenched, gaze flickering towards the remote as if he was contemplating giving in and turning the cursed thing off.

He wouldn't though. They were both far too prideful for that.

No, if Kuroo was going to concede, Tsukishima would have to employ other tactics, and he momentarily let himself cast away any remaining dignity. He couldn't half-ass this, and once his plan was put into action, he wouldn't be able to turn back.

I can't believe it's come to this.

More unbelievable still was the way a rush of anticipation ran up his body, the beginnings of a desirous heat coiling in his abdomen. Like a reflex, a preview of what was to come.

He wondered if his heart had started to race yet, his pulse picking up...

He'd been complaining earlier, but it truly was hard to stay mad at Kuroo. He was....well, he was Kuroo.

Just the name made him relax, and Tsukishima didn't bother scolding himself. What was the use? This would be over soon, given how grossly affectionate he was feeling.

At the thought, Tsukishima looked back at his boyfriend, noting the way the shadows and flashes from the T.V. danced across the curves of his face. The light flecked in his golden eyes, subtle and far too mesmerizing considering the movie playing. Those eyes, framed by long eyelashes and the occasional sand had held Tsukishima's gaze so many times. In fact, Tsukishima had stared at Kuroo's entire face more times than he could count, but he always found himself observing the same things over and over. The light crease on the bridge of his nose during allergy season, the discoloration on the tops of his cheeks due to too many beach trips.

Tsukishima could almost feel the textures from memory alone, each bump, every contour.

Seeing him sitting there, so content and at home regardless of their stupidity, made Tsukishima's heart squeeze, and an easy admission floated into his brain.

Kuroo, with all his dumb reasonings and silly jokes, was handsome. Tsukishima knew that, but it had been a while since he'd reminded himself. Maybe he was setting himself up for disaster, but whatever. He always did like sticking to facts.

Tsukishima didn't feel the need to add more to the observation, and if he had to write a book, he doubted Kuroo's description would be more than a few lines long. Kuroo's smooth edges and searing gazes were too much to describe, but to Tsukishima, they felt so simple. So right. He didn't have to make a case for Kuroo's looks, they stared him in the face everyday, woke up with him, laughed with him.

Not bothering with subtlety anymore, Tsukishima moved his body away from the television until he was facing Kuroo, hugging his knees up to his chest as he continued his musings. Plus, he'd seen this movie enough times (more than enough, fucking hell) to recognize the events. Some guy in the drive-thru was about to get bladed through the head, truly, Final Destination 3 deserved to be in a national archive of some sort. Best film ever.

As if sharing the sentiment, Kuroo chuckled, rolling his eyes at the display of gore.

Yeah, that's my guy, Tsukishima thought, without much resistance. Kuroo never disappointed him, Final Destination 2 be damned.

Tsukishima bit his lip, noting the softness as he stared at his boyfriend's creased brow. He never realized how soft his lips were until he started dating Kuroo. The raven liked to bite on them, pull and suck...

A second tremor came then, and now Tsukishima knew it was over.

Fuck this.

"Like what you see?" Kuroo's soft, amused tone floated in his ears, and he didn't flinch. Tsukishima knew Kuroo had noticed the staring from the beginning, but he was patient with Tsukishima, letting him collect his thoughts for a bit.

God, you're the worst.

And just like that, the last of Tsukishima's willpower was gone.

"Mm," he hummed, moving slowly until he was comfortably seated in Kuroo's lap. "I don't know. The gym death is kind of lame."

One of Kuroo's hands automatically came up to grab Tsukishima's hip, while the other laced their fingers together. Such a sweet, intimate gesture, all to the sound of Lewis Romero's delusional theories.

"The lamest," Kuroo replied, eyes never leaving Tsukishima's lips. The blond briefly wondered how he did that, how he could read the atmosphere so well nowadays. Kuroo was so terrible at that in high school, accidentally offending people, including Tsukishima on a few occasions. The doofus apologized genuinely each time, but still, it was impressive to see how far he'd come.

Now he could read the room like a telepath might, feeling the shifts in mood and atmosphere, knowing exactly what people wanted.

And right then, he could probably tell just how much Tsukishima wanted to be fucked against the nearest available surface.

Side note: Yes, he knew how weird it was to become unbearably horny during a rewatch of a horror franchise, he couldn't explain it and didn't really want to. End of story. Besides, he was allowed, especially after the time Kuroo wanted to get dicked after watching A Christmas Carol, there were some things they just refused to acknowledge.

“Final Destination 2 is pretty lame too you know,” Tsukishima jabbed, but the animosity from before wasn’t there anymore, replaced now with a soft whisper as he tapped his fingers against the back of Kuroo’s hand.

“Mmhm, and so is Final Destination 5,” Kuroo nudged, moving his hips to let Tsukishima slide closer. He happily did so.

“The whole franchise is.”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Without a doubt.”

“The worst.”

Each exchange only made their stupid smiles grow, and Kuroo nuzzled Tsukishima’s neck to hide his face before it made them both blush.

“Hey…you know what’s not lame?” Kuroo asked, and Tsukishima rolled his eyes before the words fully left his mouth. Oh no…

Of course, there was no real dread to be found as Tsukishima touched their foreheads together. “Stop.”

“The most beautiful person in the world—”

“No.”

“Light of my life!”

“Tetsu.”

“The future Kuroo Kei, beloved husband.”

The words made Tsukishima halt, especially with how Kuroo’s tone trembled on the last syllables, as if he hadn’t meant to say such a serious thing. He didn’t have to worry, because the words only made Tsukishima wonder how he’d ever been mad at this fool in the first place.

He didn’t let the silence sit between them long, not when Kuroo sat so tense beneath him. Dummy, as if I’d be mad at that.

“Tsukishima Tetsurou,” he whispered into the small space between them, their breath mingling. The admission the reinforcement brought with it, the fact he’d revealed he actually pictured them married, made Tsukishima’s cheeks heat up.

“Huh?” Kuroo choked out, as if he totally hadn’t heard the words loud and clear. Tsukishima laughed lightly, shaking his head.

“It sounds better…that way…you know?” The explanation was poor, but Tsukishima couldn’t sound smart right then, not with the butterflies in his stomach, or the constant heat beneath his skin. To think, they could’ve been this close, touching, this whole time.

Slowly, Kuroo touched their lips together, a peck far too innocent for how in the mood Tsukishima was. Damn Kuroo and his ability to turn every moment sappy. Did Tsukishima understand it? No. Would he change it? Never.

“Yeah, guess it does,” Kuroo said, smiling in a way which would surely kill Tsukishima if he continued.

“So…truce?” Tsukishima tried, moving his hips in hopes of getting that dumb look off of Kuroo’s face. “I’d like to pick up from where we left off, if you don’t mind.”

Being sappy was fun and all, but that was their entire life pretty much. Right then, Tsukishima wanted primal, needy, and nothing would get in the way of that.

One more purposeful grind, and Kuroo got the picture.

Grinning in that lovable, aggravating way, Kuroo met Tsukishima’s movements. “About time.”

I’ll say.

A shiver ran down Tsukishima’s spine as any thoughts of movies or terrible gore effects were forgotten, and he succumbed to the atmosphere, wanting more and more of it.

"Hey...what was that thing at the party you were doing?" Tsukishima asked, ready to dissolve the tension around them and take the plunge. He'd been thinking about this throughout the party, and not even the interruption of Final Destination could smother the flame building between them. He was tired of waiting. The moment of confusion on Kuroo's face didn't last long when Tsukishima placed both of Kuroo's hands on his hips, shivering at the touch on the bare skin where his shirt rode up. Why did he have it on still again?

The recognition in Kuroo's eyes made Tsukishima feel so small, something only Kuroo could do from such a vulnerable position. It happened to be the only time Tsukishima allowed it. And yeah, it was a great look on his boyfriend, as if it was taking all of his willpower to not fuck Tsukishima into the couch right then and there. Kuroo was such a pleaser though, wanting to draw out every touch, every position so Tsukishima could feel everything.

Tonight though, Tsukishima wanted to be the pleaser too, and a wicked thought crossed his mind as his mouth salivated.

I want it in my mouth...

It was the least he could do, after destroying his boyfriend so badly in their fight. Or maybe he just wanted to suck his dick until Kuroo begged to come. He didn't care much anymore about pretenses.

Kuroo chuckled darkly, unaware of how in control Tsukishima was (but honestly, when wasn't he?), and dug into his soft skin with poorly masked greed. "Somehow I doubt that's all you want me to do, love."

And this time, the endearment made him want to surrender.

Kuroo bucked his hips up, grinding their growing erections together, and Tsukishima laughed lowly even as a shudder racked his body. Of course not, but it's a good place to start.

Kuroo's hands traveled up his chest, ghosting over his nipples with his palms slowly. It was as if Kuroo was the conductor of Tsukishima's pleasure, the only one who got the notes and cues exactly right. He grinned as Tsukishima's hips dipped lowly towards him, seeking more.

Tsukishima moaned, and he figured it was alright, since soon Kuroo would be as undone as him.

The sensation of Kuroo playfully tugging at his nipples almost made his plan blur in his mind, his back arching into the feeling, but the determination drove him forward. Perhaps too roughly, he undid the buckle on Kuroo's belt, and in record time, he flung the damn thing to the floor.

Much better, but not enough.

Smirking, Tsukishima leaned forward, licking into Kuroo's mouth until their breath grew hot and frantic. It could hardly be called a kiss, the way Tsukishima would tease with his tongue, coaxing Kuroo's to meet him and make those obscene smacking noises they both loved so much. Shamelessly, he tugged on Kuroo's waistband as he moaned into the kiss. If that wasn't enough to get Kuroo moving, his next words certainly were.

He pulled away, letting a string of saliva connect them as he squeezed Kuroo through his underwear. The captivation on his boyfriend's face made his own cock twitch in his pants. "It's not what I want you to do, it's what I wanna do." Another harsh tug. "Off."

He loved when Kuroo moved fast sometimes.

In a matter of seconds, rough hands returned to his hips, seating him on the couch cushion as Kuroo stood up and kicked off his pants and boxers in a few fluid movements.

The pure obedience did something to Tsukishima he couldn't properly explain, but he squirmed where he sat, trying not to moan at the sight of his boyfriend's cock as it hung heavy between his legs.

It probably didn't matter, since the way Tsukishima immediately moved off the couch and onto his knees spoke for itself. His mind was already racing with the desire to make his boyfriend come, to suck on the head until Kuroo begged for more, to choke on his cock...

"Wait!" Kuroo's voice made him freeze though, and he looked up at Kuroo as the raven sat back onto the couch. He probably looked so sex drunk already, from how Kuroo's eyes flashed with something carnivorous. Stroking his cock, Kuroo laughed at the way Tsukishima's eyes followed the movement, and then pat his thigh. "Come up here."

At that, Tsukishima actually snapped out of it for a bit, blinking in confusion. "But I want to--"

"I know you do, and I'm gonna let you," Kuroo said, and his smirk actually made Tsukishima glare. "But you deserve a consolation prize too."

Tsukishima scoffed, standing to shuck off his pants and briefs.

"It's not a consolation prize if you're the winner," he replied, and still unsure of Kuroo's plan, he hopped back up onto the couch until his breath fanned over Kuroo's cock once more.

The tremble in Kuroo's voice made him wiggle his hips, and he made sure Kuroo watched.

"What happened to a truce?" Kuroo's voice shook as Tsukishima gave his cock a few firm strokes, and the blond didn't care what Kuroo was planning, he wanted more of that desperation now.

"I needed to tell you something," he said slyly, and before Kuroo could retort, he took the head of his cock in his mouth, sucking like he yearned for it. Kuroo choked out a moan as the milky precum met Tsukishima's tongue, and he swirled it around lewdly in his mouth.

Kuroo's hips twitched from the pleasure, and Tsukishima keened, the vibrations driving Kuroo mad.

"Fuck baby, that's right," Kuroo groaned, his hand digging into the cushions clumsily until he found their bottle of lube. Tsukishima didn't understand at first, but the realization dawned on him as soon as he felt a large hand kneed his ass.

Oh. Oh okay. Yes please.

Sticking his ass up higher, Tsukishima began to suck Kuroo off in earnest, making the show of it as he went all the way down on his cock. The sloshing and choking noises probably weren't necessary, but he loved the way they made Kuroo grab his blond hair and pull.

"Fuck Kei, you're amazing."

Tsukishima drank in all of Kuroo's babbles, all the praises and embarrassing comments.

"Want me to stretch you open? You're so dirty, bouncing your ass like this..."

"I'm gonna make you come hard with my cock in your mouth, Kei."

Tsukishima whined, trying his best to keep a good rhythm so Kuroo wouldn't come so fast. But god, it was tempting, especially when all he wanted was to pull off and tell Kuroo to come hard down his throat.

All coherent thought left his mind when Kuroo's lubed finger prodded at his entrance, teasing the rim until Tsukishima's whines turned even brattier, just how Kuroo liked. Tsukishima never liked to show that side of himself, no matter how much Kuroo told him it was okay. But when he did, something in Kuroo snapped, and he was no better than an animal.

He worked Tsukishima open, the lust taking over as he spoke mindlessly. "Fuck babe, your mouth is good at everything huh? So smart, but you can't say anything right now can you?"

He pulled Tsukishima off his cock, and the blond gasped.

Kuroo cursed under his breath. "So sexy..."

At the same time, Kuroo pushed in another finger, teasing the bundle of nerves inside Tsukishima with practiced skill.

Tsukishima got the picture as Kuroo kept him off his cock, but he wanted more than anything to keep going. Kuroo was close, but he obviously didn't want the fun to end. Tsukishima licked the head of his boyfriend's cock instead while Kuroo fingered him roughly, eventually scissoring him with three fingers after Tsukishima loosened up for him. And yeah, Tsukishima couldn't say anything at all, could just moan and push back wantonly.

Kuroo must've used more lube on purpose too, because the way his fingers plunged in and out of Tsukishima's ass filled the room with sloppy, indecent sounds which made Tsukishima glad they didn't have close neighbors.

"Tetsu, ah--I'm--fuck," Tsukishima's words quickly turned to mush when Kuroo pressed firmly against his prostate, and Tsukishima spasmed around him, like he wanted to keep his fingers locked there so badly.

But Kuroo really was a genuine bastard.

He pulled his fingers out, his palm connecting with Tsukishima's ass cheek with a resounding slap.

Tsukishima's back arched, and he stroked Kuroo's cock as best he could with trembling hands.

"Don't stop..."

"Hm, tempting," Kuroo sighed, groaning when Tsukishima licked a long stripe up his cock. "M-maybe if you admit I was right."

Seriously.

Tsukishima huffed, but he was too far gone to stop this, he felt so good. He just wanted to come, wanted to make Kuroo come..."I hate you sometimes."

Not that the words landed in the slightest when he was drooling over his boyfriend's dick. Or when Kuroo abruptly thrusted his fingers back inside of him, Tsukishima's moans way too happy to carry anything convincing.

"Aw, you hate me now? Is that it?" Kuroo said, amusement clear as day as he let Tsukishima feel every slow drag of his fingers inside him.

The rough, breathless syllables pouring from his lips made Tsukishima's mind swim, his body twisting at the sex-drunk words. Kuroo's speech abilities varied, and so far tonight, his debate skills hadn't gotten him far. Now, he was giving 110% to cover all that lost ground.

Tsukishima keened, and fuck, he didn't even bother glaring as Kuroo continued. "Hard to believe. You're so tight around me...."

Fuck, fuck, fuck...

“Mm, I wish I could hate you," Tsukishima sighed out, nails digging into Kuroo's thigh as he felt the familiar coiling of heat in his gut.

I'm gonna come, please make me come...

"But?" Kuroo's grin was most likely of the shit-eating kind, but Tsukishima didn't have it in him anymore to mind. He'd take everything Kuroo offered.

Thinking actions would speak louder than words, Tsukishima took Kuroo's cock back into his mouth, his pace merciless.

Come on, fall apart for me.

And Kuroo certainly did, all inclinations to tease or argue out the window. Neither of them cared about words, not with the pleasure building, not with Kuroo whimpering into the air of their apartment as Tsukishima took him deep.

He felt Kuroo's thrusts quicken, knew his fingers must've been cramping by then, but he kept going, eager to make Tsukishima feel as good as possible.

In the last few moments, a surge of affection welled up in Tsukishima's chest, and the noise he made around Kuroo's cock finally sent him over the edge.

Kuroo threw his head back, his hand leaving Tsukishima's hair to grip the armrest. "Oh god, oh shit, baby I'm coming, I'm--"

The feeling of Kuroo's cum shooting down his throat, along with the rough press of his fingers, sent Tsukishima toppling over the edge. He pulled off as he sobbed out in pleasure, some cum dribbling from the corner of his mouth as his body trembled.

He moved his hips shamelessly, riding out every last shock wave as he released into his hand. At least he'd had enough sense to do that right before his vision blanked out, his toes curling.

So good, so good.

Collapsing, he gave one last jolt as Kuroo pulled out his fingers, the sound absolutely filthy. Spent, their labored breathing filled the room, and Tsukishima lazily wiped his hand on his discarded pair of pants.

"Wow," Kuroo sighed above him, and Tsukishima simply hummed in response. His throat was sore, and his body still tingled from his orgasm. He was perfectly content with silence, and Kuroo's comforting touches.

Or, almost.

One last thought did cross his mind, and he turned over onto his back, letting his head rest on Kuroo's thigh. He felt the blush spread across his cheeks, a reaction he found annoying each time. No matter how many times he said it, it never got less embarrassing. "I love you too much to hate you by the way, shitty movie opinions and all."

Kuroo probably knew that already but...he felt he had to say it. The night couldn't get weirder anyways.

Tsukishima saw the exact moment Kuroo's brain and soul combusted from the statement, and before he knew it, he was being tackled onto the floor, his limbs too relaxed to protest as Kuroo smothered him in affection.

Oh well, if terrible movie marathons ended like this each time, Tsukishima couldn't mind it.

Much.

As if remembering the reason for all this mess, Kuroo lifted his head, glancing over to the home screen of the next installment of the franchise. The fourth one. Terushima's favorite.

Looking at each other, the consensus was reached, and the mutual hatred was all they needed as they both uttered the same response.

"No."

And yes, the truce persisted.

#kurotsukifestweek #kurotsuki #adri writing #tsukishima kei #kuroo tetsurou

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ybyg · 6 years ago

Text

Another round of TGD theories (no reviews and The Guest this time, because I’m feeling like shit and I can’t think. Give me 10 drinks, then we can talk.)

After the Chuseok cutoff, it’s hard to make any theories and that’s sad because two of my theories from last week were debunked. The ‘cliffhanger’ timings are all off due to this. I meant to discuss, but I don’t feel like it. Maybe in a few days when my brain works again.

If you’ve read my posts before, you know the drill: This Post Contains Ghost Detective Spoilers because I’m an asshole who has to reveal everything, so if you’re trying to avoid spoilers, don’t read until you’re all caught up. I have no idea how to write a goddamn show and I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I just love typing and talking and thinking and giving unsolicited opinions. No, seriously. Ask my friends.

BTW, if you’re reading this, why are you reading this?!

How did Dail end up in the middle of the street?

Let's get one thing straight: the 'jump' between 'Dail in the interrogation room' scene and 'Dail in the middle of the street in broad daylight with bloodshot eyes and seemingly had sucked out the bad juju' scene is... drastic. So who did he meet in between these scenes?

Based on the first scene, Dail entered the interrogation room in the most dramatic way possible. He forcefully turned Deokjoong's face as he realised that the latter was mind-controlled by Hye because the sclera turned red (heh I slept in science class, so thanks Google). In order to turn Deokjoong's face, he has to touch him. Right, there was no pain response from Dail. Should he be in pain, the response would be immediate. Cut to: Jungdae in his superior's office. Then, we were greeted by a shot of Dail somewhere in Seoul with bloodshot eyes, black veins visible underneath his skin, in pain, and he looked lost.

It's worth noting that all the pain responses Dail has gotten were moments he touches ghosts like Hye and the tunnel ghosts. When it comes to the victims of mind control, like Deokjoong in the interrogation room and the boy at the hospital, Dail has made contact with them, and yet hasn't shown any signs of being affected by the pain. But why were his eyes red? He could touch ghosts without his eyes turning red. So this means he was angry, and his evil side emerged (since Evil!Dail will only make an appearance when he's angry).

What happened in between the two scenes? Who did he meet that made him angry and simultaneously sucked the bad jujus from? He can't meet Alive!Hye, because, at that point of the story, they have yet to cross paths. He won't be able to meet the tunnel ghost because the helpful half (Chaewon's spirit mother) is gone for good (or is she?)

Since TGD has a track record for answering theories (doesn't matter if they're debunked or turned out to be true), I should expect to find out about this bit because it's been bugging me. If the intention of this scene was used in a way to establish the moment of realisation where he had heard the tourism fair jingle, then it's a huge loss for the story. If it's left unanswered, then it will be a frustrating loophole, and we want to avoid that.

The 'Can Chaewon Hear Dail' Saga Continues (because it's been bothering me)

We've previously established that Chaewon is one of the mysterious characters in the show. This has led me to believe that one of my theories about her to turned out to be true: as much as she's the outgoing character we all have fallen for, she's secretive and has a dark past. In this section, we'll talk about how this very character fucks with my emotion and why I'm starting to doubt my formerly 'confirmed' theory.

In the last review/theories post and also on Reddit, I theorised that she hasn't told the truth about the ghosts she can hear or see hence, we get to see her interacting with the grandpa ghost in Ep. 7/Ep. 14. But in Ep. 8, she was in a 'conversation' with Dail (patience... we'll get to this), it seemed like she could only see the silhouettes of the ghosts and not hear them, just like how we see Dail through her eyes. As of now, it's conclusive she's able to see only ghost grandpa and the tunnel ghost.

...or is it?

[Dail enters the elevator. We don't see Dail, but we know Chaewon does.]

Chaewon: Did you find anything?

Dail: Sunwoo Hye isn't here. Maybe she already approached everyone and controlled them to commit suicide.

Chaewon: It's impossible to control many people at once.

[Dail does a double-take. He expects to be in a one-handed conversation because Chaewon can't hear him.]

Chaewon: [cont.] If that was possible, she should've done it when she was in a coma. Point 1

[Dail looks at her up and down in confusion.]

Dail: You can hear me? Point 2

[Chaewon smirks.]

Chaewon: You're quite taken aback, aren't you? Point 3

[Dail looks away. Possibly feels awkward, but definitely confused.]

Chaewon: [cont.] I don't know about anything else, but I know what you might want to ask me. Point 4

[At this point, Dail shoots her another bewildered look in her direction. After she says her line, he relaxes.] Point 5

Dail: We need to find out how she's going to try and kill everyone.

[An idea hits Chaewon.]

Chaewon: Let me tell you something I found out yesterday.

Okay, let's stop right there and try to analyse the italicised dialogues and action.

It sounded like she could hear him and replied his query. She answered his question and didn't even hesitate. Her timing was spot-on too. Interesting.

Dail looked genuinely perplexed. He wasn't sure if he heard her right. Honestly, same. For that one second, he seemed convinced that she could hear him and that she replied to his remark. Remember: she wasn't supposed to hear him, but we've seen her doing this before and it was revealed that she could see him... well, not like how Yeowool sees him, but you get the picture.

Again, she answered him, but in an indirect manner. Instead, she posed him a rhetorical question or Dail simply just couldn't reply because he was baffled. Yay vagueness! On the other hand, Chaewon also didn't answer him with a definite answer like "Yes, I could hear you all along!" and we don't know for certain if she could hear him. We know that she is secretive and we discover more about Chaewon when she thinks if it's appropriate for her or when someone finds out about her (examples: Yeowool instructing Sangseob to find out about Chaewon, and when Jungdae finds out about her ability as he peeks from afar.)

This one frustrates me because I'm not sure if it's something that gets lost in translation, or if I'm the one who just couldn't understand it. If it's the former, I'm not blaming the translators because these things happen and not everything is translatable. K-dramas have the tendency to use flowery, vague-ass language, and since we only have one line to work with, let's try to dissect it. I'll be honest: I don't see how that very line connects with their previous questions or remarks. What about Chaewon expecting Dail to ask her a question, and her knowledge on this 'thing' is limited? We might be able to look at it this way: she can't hear him, but anticipates questions from him; basically, she'll blurt whatever she thinks Dail wants to know. If that's the case, how could she be certain that's what answers his questions? And her reply to him ten seconds prior to this 'revelation' was very specific. From here, the Dail's-and-Chaewon's-conversation end up being a one-sided conversation once again. Is this the writer's way to tease (in both sense) the viewers?

And Dail lets his guard down. Why? Probably there are more important matters at hand? Could he realise that Chaewon was just pulling his legs? So far, Chaewon hasn't tricked him about her abilities and everything she said and had done reveals that she knows what she's saying and doing, and she had done it with purpose. If this character is just playing that 'Haha, got you!" card, then it's a waste of time and is directionless.

As I rewatch the flashback scene with Chaewon and ghost grandpa, she did make an attempt at talking to the ghost child by asking it a question. She asked, "What do you want?" before ghost grandpa interjected with the information about how the other ghosts died.

Once again, when it comes to revealing her secrets, Chaewon does them whenever no one's watching, especially without Yeowool, Sangseob and Jungdae around. By right, based on this elevator scene, this means she could hear him.

So, could she really hear Dail? Is Chaewon taking a shot at answering Dail's questions, hoping that she answers his question? Could she just be playful and tricking him?

Why is Hye still so powerful?

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide.

So... Hye's not dead? And she's committed to terrorise everyone's lives, especially our Korean Scoobies'. We have six episodes (or twelve episodes, depending on how you see it) left for this drama, and we've just witnessed what might be one hell of a stretch so far... but with worldbuilding (which is our keyword), anything is possible.

The biggest questions like why Hye is the murderous rampaging bitch she is and why is she adamant on killing everyone have been answered. I guess in this particular story, anger is justifiable for acts of violence and manipulation... by a 12-year-old. Young!Hye didn't want to die, so she switched the laced Coke with her father's and fessed up to Dail, saying, "Yes, I killed [my father]!" rather than rationalising it as an act of self-defence. What can a 12-year-old do except to feel angry about what she had done when she was alive? Also, what can a child rationalise?

I have to say I don't get why Deokjoong said those words because he was the only adult who was with her since the death of her family. This is why Hye was angry: to hear someone say that she should be killed and that she's not able to survive alone is disheartening. He was guilty of encouraging a traumatised 12-year-old to attempt suicide, and he hasn't made an attempt to rectify his words or tell her what she's done is wrong and it's not her fault. What the writer didn't explain was this: was Deokjoong an idiot that he didn't realise how damaging his words were, or was he under some kind of influence (at this point, not Hye's) to say those horrible things? Could it also mean that 12 years-old Hye misinterpreted what Deokjoong was saying?

Alright, let's talk about why Hye might be able to retain her psychic powers. (Again, this is worldbuilding and has got nothing to do with how real life operates. Duh.)

Theory 1: Dail realises and knows a fetch's powers are learned skills. For example, if you know how to build a table from scratch, you should be able to do it from scratch, regardless of your form as a person or a fetch. Like Dail, he's still a sharp detective, and he knows his shit even when he's a fetch because that's what he's good at. Whereas Hye who have been a fetch the majority of her existence is good at mind manipulation. What she learned as a ghost gets carried to when she's alive.

Theory 2: I've mentioned show Hye's a great manipulator, and how she tricked both Dail and Yeowool into believing that only one of them has the power to kill her. Let's say Dail was the one who wasn't supposed to kill her, and it's Yeowool who was supposed to do it (which I think is the truth), Hye wasn't 'properly' killed, and with him doing the deed, he entrapped her spirit. Someone who's been in comatose for 25 years is basically dead, for lack of better word, despite Deokjoong going out of his way to keep her alive, hence why he wanted Yeowool's body to become Hye's new host. But what had happened was that it was Dail who'd done it, and he used the weapon that killed Yirang. So back to Theory 1: because of this, she was able to return to her body along with her powers.

It's safe to say that in a fictitious story, in my aunt's words, the bad guys will have the advantage, and the good guys will need to struggle in order to defeat the bad guys. However, there's a downside to Hye being advantageous (alive and possesses mind manipulation powers).

I'm not going to pretend as if I liked this Alive!Hye thing. I genuinely don't like where it's going. We've seen Dail and Yeowool in distress in their attempts at defeating her, and Hye's always been the strongest, and just like a sadist, I love it. To end Fetch!Hye, it'll be an equivalent to a boss level fight. It would've been fun to watch them go through Hell in order to defeat her, and in return, we'll be able to see better characters' development especially Dail, Yeowool, Sangseob, and Chaewon. It could be done with the involvement of Dail's newfound powers; how he insists on gaining and perfecting the powers he gain, and he ends up being an evil spirit (because we can't all win.)

Alive!Hye's appearance was great -- it created a buzz. Despite it being exciting, I can't help to feel like the writer chickened out from a crazy yet effective plan because they can't outline what will lead to the final battle. It's too easy to kill Alive!Hye, but had it been harder, it'd be worthwhile. For the sake of the story in a long run, it's a half-hearted and desperate attempt to find an easy way out/way to end the story after what the writer had panned out at the beginning of the drama which was very promising.

I enjoy overthinking things. Anything you folks have in mind? :)

#the ghost detective #qila rambles

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tavarillasgalen · 4 years ago

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2020

This year, oof.

My mental health was the worst it's been since 2016 for a lot of it. I was unemployed for 3 months, desperately trying to find a job but couldn't, ended up using up my savings and having to start over when I got a new job. I cut off a bad family member which led to me not really being able to participate in family things because they were always there. It was not an easy year, not at all, and I know that has been the case for pretty much everyone.

Um. Idk. What good things happened?

Pre-pandemic, I was in a quasi-leadership position at my job! My family and I moved. Spinning Out came out, and I think I binged the entire thing on New Year's. I rewatched it multiple times throughout the year. I was able to visit my s/o in Boston for our 4 year anniversary. We went to some hot springs the week before lockdown. Crescent City came out! I commissioned a custom funko of the MC of the project I started working on.

Then the pandemic, and getting hazard pay. Motherland: Fort Salem was airing, and I looked forward to new episodes every week. I was sort of part of writing twitter, and had started working on a new wip while still sending out queries for my first ms. I did Camp Nano in April and ended up finishing the first draft of artist wip that month. I clocked some of the biggest wordcount days I ever had; 7000 for some of them! I started beta reading for an indie author (The Cute Mutants books, if you want to look them up!) and would continue to do that throughout the year as they churned out more drafts.

I got sick, lost my job. Was entirely too optimistic about how easy it would be to find something else. I ended up regressing back into my eating disorder and was extremely suicidal as days turned into weeks turned into months and I... Was unemployed. My s/o and I went 5 months without seeing each other due to distance.

I turned 24. Went to a national park w my dad. I started revising artist wip and somewhere along the way, started drafting my current wip which I am still plucking away at. I want to finish it this year. I also wrote a bit for my first ms's world for fun. I read a lot.

Idk. Most of this year is a haze from just how brutally depressed I was. I'm kind of unsure of timelines for things and everything, lol.

But I worked out, on and off. Visited my horse during the early hours of morning or late at night when I could avoid the anti-maskers. Went on a lot of canyon drives.

My car ended up having engine problems, and since it was 10 years old and with over 250k miles, my dad replaced it. That was quite something.

I got a job at Wal-Mart - the worst i've ever had, lol. I wanted to cry within the first 2 hours of my first shift and wished I could quit by the 4th hour, lol. People treat workers there so terribly, and the workers take their frustrations out on each other. I wish people would just be decent to each other.

My s/o and I deliberated over if me going to visit him would even be a safe thing or not; we ended up going with yes. He paid for the whole thing since I had hardly any money at the time. Again, I am very lucky.

I ended up quitting Wal-Mart after literally everyone in my life was telling me to, lol, and got another job in... August? September? That I have had since and is my current job. I hope this year I can find something that pays better and that I enjoy but for now... I have a job.

I ended up trying out meds for my bipolar. I couldn't tell if they were working or not, but my s/o says he noticed a difference. I fell off them a couple months ago after trying and failing for weeks to get ahold of my doctor about the side-effects I was experiencing. I would like to try meds again, though.

My s/o came back! No more long distance after 2 years! Having him here has been so nice. I can't wait to move in together. We've done little roadtrips to scenic places and a national park, and it has been so nice.

I found Sense8 on Netflix, and binged that. I tried new things, like authentic ramen. I have a savings again. I read, a lot, lol.

Biden won! God, the relief. I ended up buying pretty masks instead of just the disposable ones, bc who knows how long this will go on, you know?

And... Yeah. I've basically just been working, reading, spending time with my s/o, visiting my horse when I can. I haven't written much the past few months, but i've been thinking/brainstorming for them a lot.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot but... There we are. 2020.

#personal

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aghiadghazal · 5 years ago

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Genghis Khan

Around this time, two years ago I started a project in collaboration with the university of Luxembourg where I had to stay down there for about a month. I remember renting a small room at the university’s dorm since it was right next to the university which was almost 20 km outside Luxembourg city. I was picked up at the airport by my project responsible and driven to my new temporary home. The room was empty except for a bed, pan and a pot which reminded me a lot of the first time I moved into a dormitory room for my bachelor’s degree almost 10 years prior. The room had a nice view, with a train station and rails in the distance, separating Luxembourg from France.

You see, one month is a tricky period of time to stay in another country, it is not so short that you can just stay at a hotel and eat at restaurants and stuff your laundry in your suitcase until you get back home, and it’s not long enough to settle down and buy cutlery and a coffee machine therefore I had to find a balance and make do with the basics. Besides being excited about the project which I was about to start, I was also excited about being only 230 km away from Frankfurt where a very close friend of mine lives. Not knowing anyone in Luxembourg meant that I was probably going to spend every weekend either hosting my friend or visiting him in Frankfurt which was exactly what transpired. Apparently there was no major highway from Frankfurt to Luxembourg and the 230 km took my friend over 4 hours to drive (which costed me many swear words by my friend). As the first weekend of my stay approached, I called my friend and convinced him to drive to Luxembourg and the conversation went something like this:

Aghiad: Hey man, have you ever been in Luxembourg? friend: No Aghiad: Yeah well maybe you should come by friend: you know what? My boss said he had a business lunch in Luxembourg once and he said it was nice, so .. yeah, ok, I will come (that summed up my friend’s knowledge of Luxembourg) Aghiad: alright cool, buy some nice whiskey on your way friend: alright, I also have a nice a bottle of champagne which I will bring .. I get off work at 7 pm, I will drive straight from work .. see you at 11 pm.

As planned, he was downstairs from my building a little past 11 pm, complaining a bit about the windy road and the lack of a proper ‘autobahn’ connecting Frankfurt to Luxembourg. Excited about seeing him, we climb upstairs to the 5th floor where I was staying, he looks around and says “Aghiad where the hell will I sleep?” I said we will figure something out (we didn’t, we tried to get a room at a nearby hotel at 5 am and we couldn’t so he ended up sleeping on the floor)

As usual, being diehard George Wassouf fans, we started listening to a mixture of George’s music and some Um Kalthoum sung by George, watch some of the concerts on Youtube, rewatch the ‘amazing’ parts, repeat the ‘solo’ parts, repeat the parts where the band couldn’t keep up with George, etc.., having the door to the balcony open with autumn night breezes blowing gently in the room. I look at my friend and say, when the hell are we going to attend a George Wassouf concert together? He loses the usual smirk on his face, and says “are you serious? there is one in two weeks in Paris .. for the love of God let’s just buy tickets now, if you don’t go this year, you may never get the chance to see him live since his health is deteriorating fast, etc..“ and sat by the laptop looking up tickets! We called another diehard fan friend of ours (who lives in Dubai by the way):  Aghiad: Hi Sultan, there is a Wassouf concert in Paris in two weeks, would you be up for it?

Sultan: Sure, count me inI Was amazed how quickly he said yes without hesitation or even checking his calendar or ‘thinking about it’ like I’d always do (him=cool .. me= not so much). My friend volunteered to take care of buying the tickets, and he bought us amazing seats (second row) and it still baffles me how he managed to buy second row tickets on such short notice for a Wassouf concert in Paris.For you who don’t know who George Wassouf is, simply put, he is the Michael Jackson of the Arab world. He started singing at the age of 9, loved by millions with a very loyal fanbase, sever cocaine addiction, few strokes, your perfect rock star (except it’s Arabic Tarab music he sings).

Tarab music is a form of Arabic music, traditional, old school, lengthy songs, it is basically what Arabs listened to since Ziryab’s time in Andalusia in year 800 AD and remained popular up until the 70’s of last century before the rise of ‘short pop songs’. You see, Tarab music is among the few things I could never explain to my non-Arab friends. Sheila puts it this way: (I guess unless you grew up with it, it’s impossible to fully embrace the beauty of it .. I can understand how amazing Um Kalthoum’s voice is, but I can’t fully grasp the magic of it)The concert was hosted by the prestigious Folies Bergères. A music hall from the 1869 in the heart of Paris. Beautiful fancy hall with rich history and heritage.

Baffled by how many people flew from all over the world to attend the concert, everyone excited about seeing the Sultan (George’s nickname is the Sultan of Tarab, not to be confused with my friend, Sultan) We sit in the second row, amazed by how close we are to the stage, not believing that we were about to see the Sultan in person since I have never had the chance to attend any of his concerts before. The warm-up singer was horrible though, we couldn’t wait until the first half an hour of the show was over.Then the curtains came down, and the lights dimmed, waiting for the Sultan to come on stage, but all of a sudden, one of his many bodyguards approached us in the second row, motioned with his index finger and said to me softly ‘the Sultan would like to talk to you’. The blood froze in my veins, and I stood there not knowing what to do, the Sultan wants to talk to me??! Why me??! This is the moment every person dreams of, meeting their favourite artist in person.Then in a split second I started wondering, what would I say to the Sultan that would leave a mark and make him remember me? or find me interesting? Imagine meeting your favourite artist tomorrow, and having 10 minutes with him/her. What would you talk about? Surely you will express how much you love his/her music and how they were the centrepiece of your childhood and how you grew up to their music bla bla bla … it’s nothing they haven’t heard from millions of fans before you.

Of course we always want to make an impression and leave a memorable moment on our favourite artist, hell , you’d love to become ‘best friends forever’ with your favourite artist so the question is, what would you say to them in those 5-10 minutes that would make that a reality? Are you interesting enough to catch their attention? This also reminds me of being asked, if I were to meet anyone in the world, including historical figures, who would I want to meet? Einstein, Newton, Niels Bohr, Muhammad, Jesus, Elvis, Hitler, Genghis Khan, etc… (assuming no language barrier) but imagine actually meeting these people, what would you say to them and what kind of conversation would you have with them? Would you be even interesting enough for them to have a conversation with you? which also led me to think about the dating world.

I remember having guy friends telling me “Ahhh Aghiad, other than being beautiful, I would like to meet an interesting, intellectual girl, full of knowledge and things to talk about” but somehow we never ask ourselves, are we interesting enough to catch the attention of an interesting, intellectual girl? I remember reading a book on dating during my single days few years back. It was called ‘The Game’ I am sure many of you are familiar with the book. The book became a huge success and caused lots of controversy because it reduced women to simple equations, once mastered, the book promised that men would be scoring ladies by the dozen. The goal of the book was to help guys understand what makes women tick and how to catch their attention. But the core idea of the book was basically how to fake being interesting! ‘proven’ lines and strategies to basically look smarter and more interesting than you actually were, since the goal of the book was to get men laid (short-term affection) rather than build real long relationships (where women would actually discover what a bore you are). It amazed me that the book didn’t encourage men to genuinely and sincerely be more curious, knowledgable and interesting (ok, in all fairness it did promote working out and looking trimmed).To come back to the concert, everything I said was true, until the part where the bodyguard approached me, of course I wasn’t asked by the bodyguard to come talk to the Sultan, it was simply my vivid imagination thinking ‘what if’. We just waited until the Sultan came on stage, barely able to walk, sang for an hour then disappeared behind the curtains, only leaving me with the paralysing question … am I an interesting person? End.

Sept. 8th 2019

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chromsai · 8 years ago

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Sai, I just went and watched Yugioh Everything's video on Yusaku and Aoi having Autism and Depresson, respectively. While he makes some solids points and I agree with them having mental problems, he basically said Vrains is the first yugioh to talk about 'such dark topics.' If your up to it could you bring up some characters in previous ygo series (Arc-V or all your choice) that implied to have mental problems cause Vrains is not the first by a long shot lmao.

Lmao sorry this answer is kinda late since the past few days have been busy for me and ironically enough you sent this right when I just got back from a grad school info session (regarding psych programs ofc) which made me realize I kinda wanna pursue a career more along research in the field of abnormal psychology which is one of my stronger areas of knowledge in psychology already anyway. I just really like it that much.

So yeah I did see this ask like almost right when you sent it but it was late and I had just gotten home after a nice day and YE’s videos haven’t been making me too happy lately so ofc sorry I kinda avoided watching it that night cuz I didn’t wanna ruin my nice day (just in case). But now that I watched it, well as far as I can remember he didn’t outright say that this is the first time a Yugioh’s dealt with these issues before (but I can see how you got that he perhaps implied it).

That all being said, I still have just a, I’d say, general yet above-average knowledge in these subjects (hey I have a degree in Psych, yes, but that doesn’t make me an expert by any means and I’m not afraid to say that, hell I love learning new things about psych all the time) so please keep that in mind (also please keep in mind too that I cannot professionally diagnose anyone, but for the sake of discussion about the psychology in fiction, I can definitely give my thoughts on what would be the most probably diagnosis for certain characters). Besides that though, if YE does actually believe that this is the first time these kinds of issues have ever been dealt with in Yugioh, well wow idk how much he’s been paying attention before this...

(Long read with further examples + explanations from characters in each series under the cut)

Regarding his statements on the Vrains characters and the disorders he mentioned, I’ll give it to him. In fact, I too am pretty sure by now that all of Yusaku’s “quirks” point to Autism, though, and YE didn’t mention this so idk how knowledgeable he is regarding other personality disorders, he also seems to show symptoms of OCPD (obsessive-compulsive); these include being obsessed or preoccupied with making lists and keeping track of small details, over preoccupation with work or meeting goals to the point of neglecting your social life or forming close relations, unwillingness to see ethics or values in someone else’ light, being stubborn, etc. Wouldn’t surprise me if he has both since there’s a high co-morbidity between ASD and OCPD.

In regards to Aoi, again yes I agree. Girl has depression. It’s very obvious (this I can say with confidence as someone who has suffered previously from it [note: I sought help and let’s just say I’m very glad I did]. The Paranoid Personality Disorder... (I’m gonna be honest.... I didn’t pay enough attention to Aoi’s character enough to determine a firmer answer and I don’t really feel like rewatching the ep). According to him, it’s a possible thing. He did mention that she could just be acting that way because her whole entire life she’s been kinda used so she has a general distrust of people, but that’s just the thing. If in fact he’s correct about her symptoms matching up, it doesn’t necessarily matter if she’s acting this way due to her childhood trauma, in fact, that’s even more reason to validate her suffering from PPD (another area I feel more confident about in psych is child/adolescent development and hey guess what, lots of personality disorder symptoms start showing up during childhood or are even a direct cause of childhood trauma).

Speaking of childhood trauma, you wanted to know characters from other series that have mental illnesses/suffer from personality disorders? Well... (*cough cough* as a psychologist, why do you think I enjoyed Arc V so much?)...Here’s a quick list of just a few select characters I can think of:Arc V:-Yuya (remember, the childhood trauma I mentioned): Oh my poor boy suffers from dysthymia. Again, I’m pretty confident here because I can relate (because I suffer from it too ahaha). While we don’t know exactly for how long, it’s been at least three years with it (ugh) since his father’s disappearance and all the bullying. He shows so many signs of it throughout the show (it would be pointless to get screencaps because the signs are literally everywhere): dysthymia (sometimes called “persistent depressive disorder”) is noted by sadness, anger, irritability, mood swings, loss of appetite, insomnia (did you notice in Synchro when we was feeling depressed in his room he didn’t eat at all and stayed up all night despite being noticeably tired), indecisiveness, low self-esteem, among others. I’m sure people might argue against me, trying to say “oh well he’s energetic for the most part and still smiles a lot” well guess what, there’s lots of entertainers, comedians, performers, and just overall really sociable people who do a terrifyingly good job hiding it.I saw someone once mention that they headcanoned Yuya also has Histrionic Personality Disorder and well... he actually does show signs of it but not so much that he actually meets criteria. Even for being an entertainer tho, he shows this more than the others (either Dennis, Yuzu, or even Yusho), but again, can’t be diagnosed with it.Lastly, and this is more of a post-canon thought regarding the prognosis of his mental health... he’s definitely gonna deal with some dissociative symptoms for the rest of his life (or until somehow, some way they find a way to separate him and the other Yuus, and even then still...). There is just no way in hell you can convince me that he’s not gonna experience dissociation on a regular basis with 3 other people living inside him. Same goes for Yuzu. (Side note: RIP my heart.)

-Shun: He suffers from PTSD. Oh man he’s kind of textbook PTSD: irritableness, mistrust, social issolation, flashbacks, hostility, fear, anxiety, paranoia, agitation, hyper-vigilance, etc. (I’d also say Yuto and Kaito suffer this too).

-Reria: Also suffers from PTSD, but since Reira is much younger, coping with childhood PTSD is a lot harder and leads to more frequent panic attacks, flashbacks, intrusive or unwanted thoughts, nightmares, avoidant behavior, etc.

-Yuri: Conduct Disorder, aka the precursor to Antisocial Personality Disorder. He’s 14 so he can’t really be diagnosed as the second. Anyways, what really tipped me off about him having this is his blatant disregard for any remorse towards harming others. He just doesn’t feel it. On the contrary, he straight up says he enjoys it, says he needs it “just like breathing”, he’s an overall really violent kid and starts fights with literally anyone that gets in his way (like... it’s even his catchphrase “You’re in my way!”), has no knows long term close relationships with anyone (reeaaally wish they had given us more of him and Dennis together tho...), and he’s known to deceive, trick, or lie to others with no guilt at all. (He’s also seen as similar to past villains of Yugioh, outright disproving the implication that Vrains is the first Yugioh to deal with personality or mental disorder issues).

-Zarc: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Again, another textbook example. And yes, similar to Aoi’s possible Paranoid Personality Disorder, this is canonically induced into his personality as a result of the society he lived in praising his violent duel style and eventual lust for power due in part to the same reason. But just because it was induced due to circumstance doesn’t make it any less valid. It’s another form of trauma, just like Aoi’s whole “being used all her life” led her to develop PDD.

And well there’s more examples in Arc V (you can also argue that Shingo also suffers from NPD to some extent, etc.) but I think those are the biggest ones I can think of right now.

And of course, though I’ve seen them all, I know Arc V the best + it’s just the one that’s in my most recent memory so it’s easier to talk about them, but some other quick examples from the series that I can think of:

DM:-Kaiba: Again, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.-Marik: I think he’s a strong candidate for being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (at least the way his villainous arc portrayed him as).-Bakura: Actually an adult so actual Antisocial Personality Disorder.

GX:-Judai: Depression & Dissociation. Yep.-Ryo Marufuji/Hell Kaiser: Definitely could argue that he displays signs of Sadisitic Personality Disorder, just keep in mind that it is no longer included in the DSM-V so it is not something someone would be typically diagnosed with professionally.-Manjoume: Another Narcissist.

5D’s:-Jack Atlas: Okay so he’s more of an accurate example of Histrionic Personality Disorder, minus the sexual criteria (which, if the Yugioh anime genre/audience allowed, I’m sure would be plausible since he also displays signs of NPD, implying that he might actually want that kind of physical/superficial attention).-Aki: Also like Aoi, displayed symptoms of PPD, though I’d argue she definitely has it and just learns to cope over time after befriending Yusei & co.-Sherry: Shows signs of high functioning ASD (being perfectionist and being obsessed with finding out about her parents murder), but ASD isn’t something I’m too confident talking about yet so maybe don’t quote me on this.-Divine: I’d say you can argue he’s has Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Zexal:-Vector: Another one with.... I mean... he’s not really 13 or 14, he’s actually, what, like 100s of years old? So instead of Conduct Disorder, he actually has Antisocial... technically...-Fuya: OOOOOHHHH You thought I wouldn’t remember a character like him??? (Again, as a psychologist, these are the characters I like the most). He’s memorable to me, despite being a minor character, cuz I’d say he definitely displays signs of having Avoidant Personality Disorder, especially with regards to using his Esper Robin personality to avoid all those intrusive, self-conscious thoughts he doesn’t find pleasant.-Shark/Ryoga/Nasch: Also has PTSD.-IV: He’s borderline Antisocial. Not quite. But almost there.

OOOKAYY Well anyways, those were just a bunch of examples. There’s way more, I’m sure that I missed A TON. But yes it’s as you said, Vrains is definitely NOT the first time in Yugioh history where characters have had to struggle with mental health / personality disorder issues. Far from it.

And wow actually thank you for the ask! This was really fun to think about and I welcome the discussion any time! Anyone, don’t be afraid to let me know if there’s stuff I might have left out or if there’s anything wrong with this or any arguments for or against any of this.

#skittymon #ask #reply #skitty #ygo #psych stuff #and wow i got carried away how is it 4:30am already #i should sleep #thank u day off #*prays fam doesn't wake me up early in the morning like they said they would*#ugh #i'm not tagging all of this so RIP #long post

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ostrich-on-a-rampage-blog · 8 years ago

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Crutchie, Cursed: Chapter 1

So, here’s the first chapter of an Ella Enchanted AU that I accidentally fell in love with. A couple people seemed interested, so here’s the start of it. Basically, what happened is I started rewatching that movie last night and kept thinking how Newsies characters could fit in here. And then I texted my roommate and she just said, “Go for it, Ostrich.” I went for it.

Also, as a side note, I have read the book, but back when I was in elementary school or junior high, so I have no memory of it. In other words, this will mostly be based around the movie. Which, also means that there will be some movie quotes in here because some of that dialogue is just too perfect to neglect. Plus, I have changed a couple of the scenes, settings, etc. It will all make sense, trust me. Do tell me how you like it, though! Reblogs and comments will encourage me to finish the next chapter sooner!

It wasn’t as if Crutchie hated his life. No, that wouldn’t be fair to say. There were lots of aspects of his life that he absolutely loved. His godmother, Medda, for one. His best friend, Katherine, of course. The fact that he was passing all his community college classes and had even managed to be recognized in his speech and debate class—although that was probably due to all of Katherine’s help—were definite pluses. Really, everything made his life just fine, all added together.

“Hey, crip! Get down here!”

Except, no, his life was not all that great, despite the smiles he faked. Years ago, Crutchie’s father died and his mother, a rather forgetful, hapless woman, never seemed to truly understand the impact of his death on her son. Sure, she had held him close and promised that everything would be okay. Crutchie wondered if she ever meant the promise, or if it had just been something nice to say to her hurting son. Only a couple months ago, she had remarried to a small, shriveled man by the name of Wiesel. She had explained that he had the money that their family needed, and, as much as Crutchie appreciated the full cupboards and the warm, plentiful meals, he almost wished they could go back to the time when he had gone to bed hungry, but had been happy. When it was just the two of them. Or, rather, when it was the three of them, and Crutchie had never foreseen the dark storms and heavy grief ahead of him.

“Move slower, ya stupid crip, I dare you!”

Wiesel had brought his two sons along with him: Oscar and Morris. While Morris tended to be quiet and brood in the corner of the room, a small black book in hand—Crutchie suspected it to be a collection of Poe’s poems, after he heard Morris mutter something about a sepulchre by the sea—and a quick frown for Crutchie whenever he entered the room, Oscar was more vocal with his dislike towards his new stepbrother. Both stepbrothers looked remarkably similar. They had dark brown hair and sported twin sneers, especially whenever Crutchie was present.

“I’m coming,” Crutchie said, trying to force his suddenly leaden limbs to move faster.

That was the other problem. Upon his birth, a benevolent—though, Crutchie wasn’t sure he quite agreed with that terminology—fairy granted him the gift of obedience. Which meant that Crutchie was stuck obeying every small command uttered around him. It had led to all sorts of unfortunate experiences, including, but not limited to, the time he punched a bully, the time he ate a worm, and the time he couldn’t tell anyone about the mean kids that teased and bullied Katherine for her big books and owlish glasses.

“Took you long enough,” Oscar remarked once Crutchie entered the living room. “Today we’re going to the rally for the Prince. I do not want to see your ugly mug there. Got it?”

Crutchie nodded, muttering under his breath, “Won’t be that hard with your eyesight.”

“What did you say?” Oscar challenged.

“Nothing. Have fun supporting a politician that has managed to destroy over a century’s peace. And all because he thought free labor would have no consequences, even though if he had ever taken the time to study a history book, he would see—“

“Shut up,” Oscar snapped.

Crutchie’s rant immediately stopped, all words dying in the back of his throat. His silence didn’t keep him from glaring at Oscar and Morris, as they headed out of the door, chattering eagerly about the Prince’s new hair style and how it compared to how he had worn it the previous spring.

Prince Jack was the talk among every citizen of marriageable age. The rumor was that the Prince would need to marry someone before he could actually be officially coronated and named King of New York, great land that it was. Men and women, alike, fawned over his deep, chocolate eyes and his wavy, brunette hair. Oscar had even been elected president of the Jack Fan Club that had been organized in Manhattan. Crutchie still scoffed whenever he entered his step-brother’s shared room and noticed the many posters of the Prince on the walls. Really, it was all a publicity stunt to distract the idiot townspeople from the atrocities being committed around them. And, much to Crutchie’s dismay, it was working.

A knock on the door interrupted Crutchie’s thoughts and he grinned when he saw his best friend waving through the window. “Hey, Kath,” he said, letting her bounce through the door.

“Okay, I painted all these great posters for the rally,” Katherine said, unrolling a poster that called for the end of ogrecide and equality among all. “I tried to see if Specs could come, but Romeo got sick, so it’s just going to be the two of us. Is that okay?” she asked, her eyes crinkling with worry behind the clear frames.

“Of course, Kath. And these look great.”

Katherine smiled. “Thanks, Crutch. Now we better get there before the mob of our great Prince’s fans manages to bring the rally to an end.”

King Snyder—for only a few short days more, until Prince Jack would be crowned the rightful King—stepped out into the bright sunshine. He blinked at the sudden sunlight, waving cheerfully to the crowd of people who had shown up to the rally for their King and Prince. He started speaking, but Crutchie wasn’t paying attention. He noticed that Oscar and Morris were at the front of the group of Jack’s fans, homemade hearts pinned to their chests. Oscar’s head started to turn and Crutchie reacted instinctively. Crutchie immediately ducked behind a pillar, his body acting on its own. He couldn’t be seen by Oscar, he couldn’t be seen by—

“What’s wrong?” Katherine asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Crutchie said, playing it off with a laugh. “Just, uh, like the shade, is all.”

“Well, we’ve got to be out in the open, where the King and the Prince can actually see the posters, or else all this work will have been for nothing.”

“Um, yeah, of course,” Crutchie said, peering around the pillar. Oscar wasn’t looking his way. He stepped out around the pillar, lofting the poster into the air. “Let’s do this, Kath. Show ‘em what’s what.”

As soon as Prince Jack stepped out onto the stage, the crowd burst into cheers and screams and catcalls. The Prince smiled weakly, waving to his adoring fans. He opened his mouth to say something, but Katherine began shouting, “Say no to ogrecide! Say no to ogrecide!” Her voice carried loud and clear over the rally’s crowd, catching the attention of the King, the Prince, and everyone in the square.

Normally, Crutchie would be proud of his friend taking a stand for her beliefs, but not when Oscar’s scowl deepened at the sight of his step-brother. Oscar shoved a couple of the rally-goers aside, stomping angrily towards Crutchie. A slightly-confused Morris followed along, glancing back at Jack longingly. “What are you doing here?” Oscar demanded, ripping the poster from Crutchie’s shaking hands. “I told you not to show your face here. Go home,” he commanded.

Crutchie winced, before muttering softly, “I gotta go, Kath. I’ll see you around.”

“Crutch, wait!” Katherine tried, but Crutchie was already limping out of the square, ignoring the stares from all of the citizens.

“That was a waste,” Crutchie muttered, wiping angrily at his nose. All Crutchie had ever dreamed of, since he was young, was making a difference in the world. But, how could he ever do that, if he continually was forced into following others commands. It wasn’t fair. No one else had been cursed at birth. Only Crutchie seemed lucky enough to have been blessed with some fairy that apparently had decided his life wouldn’t be crappy enough between his twisted leg and his father’s sudden death, and had “gifted” him with obedience.

Crutchie barely had time to notice the sound of screams echoing throughout the forest, before someone grabbed him, dragging him to the ground. He immediately elbowed his assailant in the stomach, but that only managed to trigger a small grunt of pain. A soft hand was clamped over his mouth, while his attacker hissed, “Shh.”

A crowd of men and women, all wearing those tacky “I Heart Jack” pins, ran past them, screaming excitedly. Once they had passed them, Crutchie’s assailant let him go, muttering a small apology. Crutchie turned, surprised to discover that assailant was, in fact, Prince Jack. “That’s a fine way to treat your citizens, shoving them to the ground,” Crutchie muttered, standing up and brushing the dirt from his pants.

“I’m Jack,” Jack introduced himself, handing the other man his crutch.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Oh,” Jack said, running his hand through his brown locks. Crutchie started away, but Jack caught up. “Hey, I never got your name.”

“They call me Crutchie.”

“Do you like the name Crutchie?”

“It’s a far cry better than ‘crip,’ or whatever semi-clever insults the kids on the playground could think of,” Crutchie remarked.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said, but Crutchie shrugged his concern off, continuing on his way home. “You know,” Jack continued, “you’re the first person who hasn’t swooned at the sight of me.”

Crutchie snorted. “Then maybe I’ve done you some good.”

“No, I meant—“ Jack fell silent, as a strange sound emanated from the forest on the side of the road. “I’ll go investigate,” he explained, pulling his sword out of its sheath. “Stay here.”

At the command, Crutchie’s feet seemed to freeze in the center of the dirt road. “Jack!” he tried to call, but the Prince either ignored him, or didn’t hear. “Great,” he muttered, tugging uselessly on his legs and trying to will them to move, even though he knew none of his efforts would be successful. Eventually, Crutchie simply gave up, scanning the forest and waiting for his prince to come—Crutchie rolled his eyes at that particular thought—and free him from his temporary stasis.

A quiet rumbling surprised Crutchie. He hadn’t expected any sort of storm, especially with the sky so clear of clouds. As the rumbling grew louder, he glanced behind him, immediately discovering the source of the noise. Some madly drunk man had whipped the horses driving his carriage into a frenzy, and the carriage barreled towards Crutchie, with no sign of slowing. “Jack!” Crutchie shouted again, annoyed at the note of desperation that colored the name. He wasn’t desperate, he wasn’t—only, he was, because his feet still would not move and the carriage was getting closer and—

“Move!”

Crutchie immediately obeyed, leaping out of the way of the carriage and the cackling drunkard. For a moment, Crutchie merely laid on the ground, breathing deeply and thanking everything that he was still alive. His fingers shook, but he quickly fisted his hands to hide the trembling. Ignoring the slight tremor in his voice, Crutchie shouted, “What the hell was that?”

Jack blinked in surprise. “What was what? You weren’t moving; you were just standing there!”

“Clearly, I moved out of the way in time,” Crutchie said, levering himself up with the aid of his crutch. “No thanks to you. How was your little romp into the woods?”

“It wasn’t an ogre.”

“You find a scawy wabbit?” Crutchie teased, focusing on annoying the Prince instead of the way his knees still shook after that near-death experience. He could’ve died, he could’ve died.

“Oh, shut up.”

Crutchie’s mouth snapped shut, but the Prince didn’t seem to notice, as Oscar and Morris ran up to the pair. “Jack!” Oscar called out, taken aback by the appearance of the Prince with his step-brother. “H-how are you? You’re looking,” Oscar paused, examining the Prince’s body, “swell.”

Crutchie snorted, catching Oscar’s attention. “And, Crutchie, take Morris home.”

“Oh, come on,” Morris complained, pouting. But, he listened to his older brother and motioned for Crutchie to come home with him.

“Watch out for rabbits,” Crutchie told Jack, a farewell, of sorts.

“And you stay away from carriages,” Jack told him, a soft smile at his lips.

Crutchie nodded his good-bye, before joining Morris on the road home. “I don’t see why you get to meet Jack,” Morris complained. “Sometimes, Crutchie, I think you’re the luckiest guy alive.” And while Crutchie had never been inclined to agree to a statement such as that, he found himself wondering if this was a start of a new, luckier chapter in his life.

#newsies #ella enchanted au #jackcrutchie #this should be fun #tell me how you like it!#my fanfiction #my writing #crutchie cursed

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rumpikerzzzworld · 6 years ago

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April, You Will Be Remembered

It’s the 1st of May!! I want to post about some unforgettable April 2019 moments because I want to keep the memories that someday I want to remember again. So many things happened in the month. There were some heart-breaking incidents and of course there were some enjoyable moments as well. I’m just gonna highlight the things I want to remember the most. Here they are!!

BLACK HOLE

It is announced that on 10th April 2019 a group of scientist from the international Event Horizon Telescope (EHT) releasing the image of a black hole to public. This project was began in 2006. It took supercomputers, eight telescopes stationed on five continents, hundreds of researchers, and vast amounts of data to accomplish (source: the verge).

(cr: Event Horizon Telescope)

I was not someone who understands much about space life, even though I studied the basic knowledge when I was in secondary and high school. However, I appreciated a lot this not easy job. I used to have a dream to be an astronomer when I was a kid, but i have to come to realization that I’m not smart enough to pursue the dream, lol. I’m currently into astronauts’ life though. I watch documentaries, read articles and other sources about astronaut’s and space’s life. So that, it made me happy to read this news. Moreover, one of the computer scientists in the team who led the development program to get the first-image of black hole is a woman named Katie Bouman. She is just 29-year-old when she did that. She is amazing!! I always wonder what kind of method those people use when they are studying. I mean, how could they be so smart? I feel like I’m such a useless and stupid human being. I’m nothing huhu. Anyway, I’m happy to witness the history of the first image of black hole.

GAME OF THRONES

FINALLY, WINTER IS COMING. I might not be the fan of the show since day 1. I just started watching game of thrones in 2017. Ever since I watched the first season, I started becoming a fan and addicted to the show then finished all of the 7 seasons in a few weeks. The show is that addictive, it made me threw any dramas/movies for about 6 months because I felt that the show was too well executed and any other movies/dramas in that time period I was watching the show felt bland. I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to belittle other shows. It’s just the thing I felt that moment. I was so mesmerized by the storyline which literally beyond my expectation. It was so good. I know there are a lot of people who don’t like the show, and it’s okay as everyone has their own preference. But to me, this show is so far my very favourite one.

It took me 2 years to wait for the last season which is season 8 to be aired. I cant contain my feelings as I was so excited about this. AAAANNDDDDD IT’S FINALLY HERE. GAME OF THRONES SEASON 8 IS HAPPENING. 14th April 2019 should be put as a history date as the show was aired on that day. Actually, I’m pretty sad that there will be just 6 episodes. I wish they make it to 10, but who am I to complain?

Okay, back to the show. The most talked episode is episode 3, the Battle of Winterfell, which was shown in that very episode. The episode lasts for about 80 minutes long. The thing that has been waited since season 1 was the war between the alive and the dead. There are so much reactions and opinions regarding the episode, fans are splitted into two groups, the one who enjoyed the episode and the one who disliked the episode as it didn’t reach their expectation. I’m the one who included to the first one, I pretty enjoyed the show although I think it wasn’t the greatest battle in Game of Thrones. My favourite battle was Battle of Bastards as it was really tensed. But, I still like the Battle of Winterfell though. As of now, I want to put aside the negativity and just enjoy the rest of episodes. I’m planning on reading the books after the show is over.

One thing that I really like about episode 3 is the hyped from the people who watched together in cafes, restaurants, and other place. Their reactions were priceless. See these videos that went viral on twitter!!

1 2

ELECTION

One of the most tiring to bear ever since social media era existed is election. The countries that pursue democracy usually conduct election to choose their own leader, including my country. In the past, there weren’t much sources to search about election information other than from tv and newspaper, so that the backlash could be reduced. But it’s different now. In this digital age, people can share everything including the positive and negative contents. Social media as one of the tools for people to do campaign and spread either good thing or black-campaign for the election candidates. ISTG, this is so tiring to witness people bashing each other and most of them have crossed the line. I’m so done!

In Indonesia, for 2019’s election, there were some changes compare to the previous election. They were included the period of time of campaign which was so long (about 7 months) and also adding the other 3 elections of legislative to be held in the same very day. It used to be held in different months, but due to the lack of participation in legislative election so that they were all conducted together.

Indonesian Presidential Election Candidates (Left: Jokowi-Amin, Right: Prabowo-Sandi)

(cr: Media Indonesia)

I was eager for this to end soon. It finally happened on 17th April 2019. But, something bad happened again. The incident which happened in 2014 was re-enacted as both candidates claimed they win. Even though the quick count results from about 12 institutions showed that Jokowi-Amin led the vote by gaining about 54% votes while Prabowo-Sandi gained around 44% votes. I’m so done with this. I will just wait for the official results to be announced and I wish on that day there will be no chaos happen.

Aside of that, something that breaks my heart is there were a lot of election officers died and fell sick due to exhaustion from working way too hard as most of them working until very late night and some even worked until the next morning because there were so many jobs to do, including counting the vote for legislative elections (DPR, DPRD, DPD). Although there were no major incident happened during the election process itself, but still this thing supposed to not happen. There is definitely something wrong with the system and it should be fixed so that there will be no victims anymore.

MOURNING IN SRI LANKA

21st April 2019 is Easter Day. Things supposed to be calm and sacred on that day. But disgusting act ruined it all. Multiple bombing attacks happened in several places in Sri Lanka, including at churches and hotels. Hundred of people died and many people got injured. Some extremists claimed they are responsible for the attacks, SMH. I wish the ones who dead are resting in peace, while the ones who got injured will get well soon and receive some strength to continue life. and for the terrorists, I wish you die in suffer and go to hell!!

I don’t get why in 2019, hatred ideology is still growing fast in this world. Sadly, in some developed-countries which the citizen are more educated, this ideology also exist. People should learn that the differences that make this world beautiful. Why some people feel like they want to hurt each other just because they have differences in term of race, skin colour, religion, countries, ideology, etc. We need to respect each other differences as long as it doesn’t violate the rule of law.

I think there should be a formal lesson in school to teach students to respect the differences. Parents should teach their children right too. Sadly, I found a lot of parents who taught their children to hate people who are different from them. This needs to be stopped. Everyone deserves to get equal treatment. We all want a better future. We cant reach this as long as we still fight each other because of the differences. Just put aside it and look the bigger picture, the same goal we want to pursue. As of now, i’m kinda sceptical if we can reach peace in the near future. However, someday in the future, I wish the world will be a better place to live in. Amen

(cr: wisdom quotes)

AVENGERS ENDGAME

Marvel fans have anticipated the final movie from Avengers United. They are excited as well as sad as the avengers series come to end. Avengers Endgame was screened since 26th April 2019 in my country. There were so much fans who purchased pre-order ticket in a few days prior to the movie screening. It’s kinda cray because the cinemas are full packed with the audiences. Most cinemas even dedicated all of their studios for this movie as the demands are very high then putting aside the other movies. I feel bad for the other movies as they didn’t get time slot for their movies in cinema because of Avengers movie. I wish this wont last long as other movies deserve to get screened as well.

Okay, back to Avengers Endgame movie. Just in March 2019, I watched Captain Marvel movie and in April, I got to watch the last movie of Avengers. I’m actually not a big fan of Superheroes movies, I’m just a casual viewer who enjoyed the movies and i enjoyed watching this one as well. Avengers Endgame runs for 181 minutes, it’s pretty long. I came to bathroom in the middle of movie though, lol.

Overall, I like this movie as I think everything was executed very well. The cinematography, the sound, the edit, the effect are totally top-class work as well as the casts and their act. It really gives everyone goosebumps during the war between Avengers United and Thanos and his soldiers. I couldn’t blink my eye any second because I didn’t want to miss anything. Even though, I felt like I wanted to go to number 1 again in the middle of war scene, but I held it until the movie was over, lol. The movie is worth the hyped though. It’s indeed a masterpiece. I think I’m gonna rewatch it later. But, first I need to watch several marvel movies that I haven’t watched yet so everything will connect and make sense as I still didn’t understand some part. Anyway, thanks marvel for presenting a very well done job!! Goodbye or See you (?) Avengers!!

(cr: marvel)

Bye April 2019. Welcome my month, May!!

xoxo

mels

#black hole #katie bouman #game of thrones #election #sri lanka #avengers #avengers endgame

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edsmysterygirl · 8 years ago

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92 TRUTHS - tagging @justaboywithaonemanshow @givemeedplzfanks @edandanniina

THE LAST…

1) Drink: Forest fruit squash. 2) Phone call: My mom. 3) Text message: A friend from uni. She asked me to proof-read her thesis. 4) Song you listened to: I’m A Mess. I’m rewatching Glastonbury. 5) Time you cried: Friday, when I had my mental breakdown. Good news though, I get until the end of August to finish my thesis!

HAVE YOU EVER…

6) Dated someone twice: Nope. My current boyfriend is my first boyfriend ever. 7) Been cheated on: No. 8) Kissed someone and regretted it: No. 9) Lost someone special: I mean, a lot of family members and family friends. But is it bad if I say the worst ‘someone’ that I lost was my previous dog…? I never knew two of my grandparents and I lost one when I was 3 and the last one when I was 7. I feel like I never got to form a bond with them. And I wasn’t very close with the other people that I lost. 10) Been depressed: Never had the official diagnosis, but came close to it. People have been wanting to put me on antidepressants probably since I was 16 – but I have always refused. Let’s just say I have a lot of problems and have been in therapy on and off for 13 years now. It’s a long story. 11) Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope, I don’t drink. 😊

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS…

12) Blue. 13) Yellow. 14) Red.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15) Made new friends: In RL, not really. On Tumblr? Hell yes! 16) Fallen out of love: No. 17) Laughed until you cried: Yes. My boyfriend will sometimes make me laugh till a point where I basically can’t stop laughing and start crying. Fun times. 18) Found out someone was talking about you: Like, behind my back? Probably. 19) Met someone who changed you: Does discovering Ed count? 20) Found out who your true friends are: Yes. I’ve basically isolated myself socially in the past few years. The people that still check on my even though I don’t check on them (I know, I should…), those are my true friends. 21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Well, I’m friends with my boyfriend, so yes.

OTHER…

22) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: I don’t see everyone regularly, but I met all of them at least once in RL before I added them. 23) Do you have any pets?: A dog and a cat. 😊 24) Do you want to change your name?: My last name, sometimes. No one ever gets it right. I guess marriage may fix that one day though, lol. 25) What did you do for your last birthday?: Make a Tumblr, LOL. 26) What time do you wake up?: Sometimes I wake up at 7:15 AM, sometimes I wake up at 4:00 PM… My sleep schedule has been all over the place lately. It’s messed up. If I had nothing to do I would probably sleep from 2 AM until 12 PM. 27) What were you doing at midnight last night?: Watching a Supernatural episode with my boyfriend (over Skype, because LDR). 28) Name something you cannot wait for: The day that this freaking thesis is finished!! 29) When was the last time you saw your mother?: Monday morning when I left for uni. I’ll see her again tomorrow when I go back home for the weekend. 30) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: My mental health? 31) What are you listening to right now?: Nancy Mulligan (still watching Glastonbury). 32) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: No actually? I know a Tim. And a billion Thomases. But no Tom. 33) Something that is getting on your nerves: My thesis. 34) Most visited website?: Facebook? Though maybe now Tumblr… 35) Elementary: Not that great. I got bullied a lot. Didn’t have many friends. Other than that alright, I guess? 36) High School: Okay. Bullying turned into ignoring me. Still didn’t have many friends. But these were the years that I discovered my love for languages and strangely enough I really enjoyed high school. 37) University: Still enrolled at the moment. Hoping to finish my Master’s degree in translation this year. 38) Hair color: Brunette. 39) Long or short hair?: Very long. 40) Do you have a crush on someone?: My boyfriend. And Ed, of course. 41) What do you like about yourself?: That’s a difficult question that I can’t really answer at the moment… 42) Piercings?: None, not even earrings. 43) Blood type?: No clue… Probably should find that out at some point. 44) Nickname?: MG on here. 😂 I don’t really have a nickname in RL. My mom calls me Josephine sometimes, which has nothing to do with my name. 45) Relationship status?: I have a boyfriend. 46) Zodiac sign?: Gemini. 47) Pronouns: She/her. 48) Favorite TV show: I used to watch SO MANY TV shows. Back when I was in high school I would watch 12 at the same time (like, as the episodes came out). For the past 2, 3 (?) years I have sort of stopped myself from watching TV shows. Because I get obsessed with things. Like with Ed right now lol. I will still occasionally watch an episode (like last night), but I’m really behind on everything. My enthusiasm for TV shows is probably what led to me studying English in the end. And Supernatural was the common interest that matched my boyfriend and I. 😊 49) Tattoos: None. 50) Right or left hand?: Right hand, though I can write with my left hand if I have to. But I don’t consider myself ambidextrous.

FIRST…

51) Surgery: Does a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) count? Probably not. Felt like one though. I have a medical phobia and about a year ago they suspected meningitis, so I had to have one. One of the most traumatic experiences I have had. They had to sedate me because I was so panicked. The whole hospital must’ve heard me scream and I pushed a doctor away (not on purpose, but if I’m yelling “STAY AWAY FROM ME” in your face and you approach me with a weird object that looked like something they were going to do the puncture with, well…) So they ended up sedating me and luckily I don’t remember a thing from the procedure itself. But they must have hit something, because my legs were numb and I couldn’t feel whether my bladder was full or not for like a week after. I’d just go to the toilet at times where I would usually go because I just didn’t feel anything. Plus I couldn’t stand up for longer than 10 minutes or my legs would collapse. Luckily all that went back to normal, though I still get this weird back pain from time to time that I associate with that. I don’t know how I will ever survive a proper surgery… 😭 I just can’t handle pain. 52) Piercing: Still don’t have one. 53) Sport: I don’t know which one came first, horse-riding or table tennis. Started both when I was 11. I stopped playing table tennis when I was 20, I stopped riding horses when I was 16. I don’t miss any of my hobbies that I’ve given up, except for horse-riding. 54) Vacation: We used to have a caravan/travel trailer when I was little. We’d go to the same camp site every year where we had our own spot with a shed and stuff. We’d go there in the weekends and during the summer. Later we bought a mobile home at a different camp site, but that camp site closed down when I was 20. Now going to see my boyfriend (and him coming over to see me) just counts as vacation for me. But that will change once I finish uni, I guess. 55) Pair of trainers: No clue? WHY IS 56 MISSING 57) Eating: Of the day? Ice lolly… 58) Drinking: Water. 59) I’m about to: Make dinner, mac & cheese. 60) Listening to: YNMIDNY. 61) Waiting for: My motivation to kick in. 62) Want: To sleep. All day, every day. 63) Get married: I’m not married yet. 64) Career: Don’t really have a career yet… I have a student job at a holiday resort with villas. And before that I worked as a cashier in a supermarket. I’d like to become a subtitler eventually.

YOUR TYPE…

65) Hugs or kisses?: I could live without kisses, but not without hugs. Not that I want to live without kisses... But if I had to choose, I mean. 66) Lips or eyes?: Eyes. 67) Shorter or taller?: If you would have asked me this a couple of years ago, I’d say taller. But my boyfriend is shorter than me. That’s what you get when you date an Englishman as a Dutchie. 😊 68) Older or younger?: Older. 69) Nice arms or nice stomach?: Arms. 70) Sensitive or loud?: Sensitive. 71) Hook up or relationship?: Relationship. I don’t think I could ever just hook-up with someone. Maybe Ed, lol. 72) Troublemaker or hesitant?: Out of those two, hesitant I guess?

HAVE YOU EVER…

74) Kissed a stranger?: No. 75) Drank hard liquor?: No. 76) Lost glasses, contact/lenses?: No. I’ve never lost my glasses, but I’ve sat on them before, lol. 77) Turned someone down?: Relationship-wise? No. In general? Probably. 78) Sex on first date?: No. 79) Broken someone’s heart?: No. 80) Had your heart broken?: No. 81) Been arrested?: No. 82) Cried when someone died?: Yes, obviously. 83) Fallen for a friend?: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84) Yourself?: No…t really. 85) Miracles?: No. 86) Love at first sight?: No. 87) Santa Claus?: No. Funnily enough most Dutch kids don’t believe in Santa Claus. They believe in Sinterklaas instead. He’s a saint (Saint Nicholas) who gives presents to kids (in the weeks leading up to and) on the 5th of December. Some parents decide to have their kids believe in both, but I think most Dutch kids grow up with the idea that Santa Claus (or the Christmas Man, as we call him) is simply fake. Not sure why little me never questioned the existence of Sinterklaas, though… 88) Kiss on the first date?: Since I met my boyfriend online and the first time I met him in RL was after months of Skyping and already sort of being in a relationship, yes? 89) Angels?: No. I don’t believe in a higher power, though sometimes I wish I did.

EVEN MORE…

90) Current best friend’s name: Merel. 91) Eye color: Hazel? 92) Favorite movie: All of the LotR movies?

#personal

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