#i did Not want to see them and i actively cursed every time more ppl walked in

[orcelito]

Honestly shoutout to me going thru an active mental breakdown while working but still managing to smile and take orders just like normal

I was Goin Thru It today

[rafecameroninterlude]

hi victoria!!! i love ur pogue!sweetheart!reader and i was wondering if u could do a lil hurt/comfort thing where one of rafes friends tells reader she talks too much/is too loud and she gets super upset? i’m a super big crybaby and i talk a LOT and i’d love to see how you write how rafey defends n comforts her :,)

warnings: protective!rafe, topper and kelce are pretty mean in this one >:(, rafe defends you <3, sight angst, fluff, rafe being the king of reassurance

a/n: i have personal beef with anyone who tells ppl to quiet down when they’re excited for something, or just naturally outgoing. also idk how to play poker so excuse the way i explained it if it’s incorrect lol

before you, friday nights were always reserved for rafe and his friends, the group of them either going out for a beer or staying in and betting money on card games. but now? rafe spent his friday nights buried inside of you, both of you laughing and kissing each other in the dark until one of you fell asleep first. and rafe wouldn’t have it any other way. his friends however, weren’t very fond of your boyfriend choosing you over them.

which would explain their impromptu visit while you two were mid-makeout session. “so this is why she has you locked away, huh?” you jumped, rafe covering you with a throw blanket as he slipped his shirt on. “what the fuck, guys?!” rafe glared at kelce and topper, your skin hot with embarrassment. “you left the door unlocked, playboy.” topper pushed a twelve pack of beers into rafe’s chest, the pair of friends walking to the kitchen.

“are you okay, baby?” rafe leaned down, wanting nothing more than to sucker punch his idiot friends for making you feel mortified. “i’m in my bra and panties!” you whispered, scrambling up from the couch and running up the stairs to rafe’s bedroom. rafe pinched the bridge of his nose, cursing under his breath before meeting topper and kelce in the kitchen. “y’all should’ve called me or something.” his tone was harsh, kelce holding his hands up defensively.

“she has you so pussy whipped bro, would you have even answered?” no, the answer was no. “it doesn’t matter, you two shouldn’t have walked in like that.” topper scoffed, popping open a can of beer. “chill, man, we just came to see our boy,” kelce slapped rafe’s shoulder, “and beat your ass at poker.” he added. rafe laughed, muttering a ‘not a chance.’ before going upstairs to check on you. “y/n?” you were fixing your disheveled hair, your lips still swollen from your previous activities.

“hey..” you turned, rafe pulling you in for a hug. “why don’t you come downstairs? be my lucky charm for the game we’re gonna play.” you shook your head, recalling topper’s words from earlier; ‘so this is why she has you locked away, huh?’ locked away? really? “i better not, you should go have your ‘bro’ time, i know it’s been awhile..” you smiled, hoping he didn’t catch the way your gaze faltered. he did. “i want you with me.” he pecked the tip of your nose, your eyes shutting momentarily.

“what if they don’t, though?” rafe was already dressing you, waving off your words. “well then they can leave.” he shrugged. you sighed, letting him walk you downstairs where topper and kelce had the game set up on the table. “the girl scout is joining us?” you didn’t miss the way topper exchanged looks with the boy on his right. “yes, she is. is there a problem?” kelce mumbled a ‘no.’, followed by an awkward clearing of his throat.

rafe pulled you onto his lap, the guys starting the game as you rested your head against his chest. you didn’t know a thing about poker, your lips quirking every time your boyfriend shouted excitedly. “there’s no way!” topper slammed his losing cards on the table, “i have nothing!” kelce was getting frustrated, the chances of him winning decreasing with each turn. “if i flip this card and it’s right, i take all of this.” the guys had already put in well over four hundred dollars, the tension in the room incredibly thick.

“with this money we’ll get you that mixer you been wanting, how does that sound?” you nodded, both you and rafe leaning forward in anticipation. as soon as rafe turned his last card over, you screamed, jumping up as topper and kelce heads fell down in defeat. it was the first time you had even opened your mouth tonight, and kelce wasted no time in shutting you down. “calm down, do you really have to be so loud?” your smile dropped, along with rafe’s. “forreal.” topper glared at you before pushing the money in your direction.

“what’s up y’all’s asses? she’s just cheering,” rafe pulled you to his side, “just a reminder that you two came here on your own accord and interrupted us, not the other way around.” in that moment you felt like a little girl again, always having someone to tell you to quiet down and suppress your excitement. you couldn’t help the tears from welling in your eyes, their judgmental looks making you want to disappear. prior to you and rafe being together, topper and kelce had always been nice to you, but all of that seemed to go out the door when your boyfriend stopped participating in their little get togethers.

“we hardly see you anymore, bro, we just don’t understand why she can’t lay off sometimes.” topper looked over at you, his jaw ticking as rafe laughed bitterly. you couldn’t believe your ears. if only they knew how much you encouraged rafe to hang out with them. “has it ever occurred to you that maybe i rather spend my time with my girlfriend than hanging out with you two? get the fuck out of my house.” topper and kelce looked like they were at a loss for words, both of them apologizing to you under their breath.

“and not that it matters anymore, ‘cause you two are so convinced that she has me trapped in her evil lair somewhere, but she encouraged me to come down here by myself before i dragged her along with me. you don’t even know what you’re talking about.” rafe basically pushed them out before shouting, “and i’m keeping the beers assholes!”

rafe shut the front door, making sure to lock it this time before he scooped you up in his arms. “don’t cry, sweetheart, they’re both idiots.” you sniffled, laughing softly. rafe smiled at the fact that he knew how to make you feel better. “talk my ear off while i order that mixer, i love hearing your voice.”

[syuga-s]

feelings are a fickle thing

w.c 15.2 k pairing. Jungkook x gn!reader, Yoongi x gn!reader genre. PURE ANGST bc I'm f*cking insane, suggestive themes, ANGST! a/n. MDNI!!!!! I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word “sex”. this is not inspired by Jungkook or Yoongi whatsoever, they're just my in my brain 24/7 and thought they'd fit well in here. Jaehyun and Yugyeom cameo!! I truly apologize bc this is not a nice story, it's full of immature (wounded) ppl that don't understand themselves, there are no ill intentions but it's just very messy.

Ever since you took Jungkook with you to Olivia’s birthday, all of your best friends haven’t stopped asking about him.

You met Jungkook in college. You hadn't come across him until your spring semester, but you officially became friends when you were sophomores. (around the time he started taking the same classes as you). Soon you became close friends and every free period was spent together.

Classes were over for the day? Time to go get some drinks with Jungkook. You didn’t eat breakfast today? Jungkook would take you to the nearest café just so you could grab something. You had time to kill until you had to go to your extracurriculars? No matter how many hours, Jungkook would stay just talking with you.

It’s safe to say you did everything with him. There were even times when instead of going out with your best friends, you would make plans together, just the two of you. You just fit together with him so well.

Of course, both of you had your own lives outside your friendship. It never crossed your mind why you would never talk about if you were dating or something. But you felt it would be better not to pry into his love life; simply because you didn’t want him to ask you about yours either. It was like some unspoken agreement. You made sure not to talk about the drama outside your friendship under no circumstances, it was better for both.

Keeping everything fun.

Two years into your friendship, other people started questioning the nature of your relationship. Every classmate was so sure that he was in love with you or that you were in fact going out. For (both) your sake, you just ignored them. You refused to be awkward about the closeness you had built with Jungkook. Moreover, you wanted to avoid ruining your friendship for that matter.

But your feelings changed once you graduated.

In the blink of an eye, you got yourself an internship in another state and had to move. In just a few weeks, you were already more than 2,000 miles away, but you certainly didn’t stop talking to Jungkook. Naturally, every day you were apart, it made you miss him more. Your conversations remained uninterrupted, day after day. Both of you texted non-stop. And when you weren’t texting, it was because you were already on a call or face-timing. Not for a moment did you get tired of telling him about your day and every little detail about your mundane activities.

And it turned out to be the same for him. He was always excited to hear how was your day. Just by talking to him and hearing you say, “I’ve been dying to tell you this all day!” made his whole week.

You weren’t even going to stay there permanently. He knew you were going to come back in a few months, still, he felt like part of him was gone for good.

Around three months had passed, and he needed to see you asap. One day, you told him you were craving one of the rum and cokes he used to sneak in when you were in college. And that was it, the perfect excuse for him to make a quick trip to see you for the weekend. The fact that you were like 40 hours away didn’t stop him whatsoever.

After that, you realized how good he was at surprises. You had absolutely no clue that he would fly to you. He had your schedule memorized, so he knew you wouldn’t be busy once he arrived. And well, he had actually asked you in the past days what were you going to do on the weekend, just to be extra sure.

”nothing really, you know I still feel like an outsider around my coworkers lmao, I’ll probably have a few drinks while I watch a movie”, “why do u ask?”

“I wanted to face-time you, we can drink together then 👍”

Just like that, his plan had been accepted, authorized, ratified and ready to be implemented. He could only hope for you to be happy to see him after all these months.

His flight would depart Friday at 5 a.m. and he asked Jaehyun and Yugyeom a few days ago if they could give him a ride to the airport. He asked them to stay at his place the day before, and they didn’t waste any chance on teasing him once they arrived at his apartment.

“The lengths you go for love, couldn’t be me”

“Dude, at least tell me you’re already together or something”

“I can’t believe you’re traveling that far, man”

“They’re my friend, I want to see them”

“Yeah, your friend without benefits.” The silence after that lasted for a few minutes, and there was a smug smile plastered all over Yugyeom’s face. It screamed that he was pleased with himself and his remark.

Jungkook was confident about what he was doing. The only thing in his head was that he wanted to see you. It didn’t have to mean something else. He didn’t have any other intentions. He just wanted to be with you, like when you were back in college. You had been part of his life for almost 4 years, and now he had the chance to go see you, so why wouldn’t he do it?

He kept speaking with his two friends about his plan and aside from their bantering, they were actually happy for him. They didn’t mention it in front of him, but they could physically see he felt different about you. Jaehyun admired everything he had done for him to drop everything for a few days just to spend them with someone whom he had yet to admit he had feelings for.

Yugyeom didn’t buy either that you were just friends, but he was supporting Jungkook nonetheless.

It was time to get some sleep, and he couldn’t close his eyes. He started getting nervous about how would he spend the weekend with you? That was the only thing he didn’t think through. His head was running in circles. Already 3 a.m. and he didn’t get any rest whatsoever. As he was showering, he had an epiphany. How could he not think about it sooner? He was determined on taking you to all the touristy places you wanted to go but haven’t been able to since you moved. Consciously or unconsciously, he just wanted to see you happy around him.

The drive to the airport was silent. While Jaehyun was focused on driving, Yugyeom was fighting to stay up and Jungkook’s mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The car smelled like coffee, and Yugyeom couldn’t remember the last time he was up before it was dawn.

“Thanks for driving me guys, I owe you” Jungkook squeezed their shoulders while he was filled with anxiety. ”Yeah, no problem man, how are you feeling?” Jaehyun asked and eyed him through the rearview mirror. Catching on how he was fidgeting with his phone.

“Didn’t get to sleep, so kind of worried but excited, you know?”

“Man, you should ask for one of those sleep masks at the plane”, Yugyeom chimed in, “you'll have the best sleep ever, I swear.“

“What makes you think I haven't slept on a plane before?”

And he actually did sleep. Twice. The only flight he could find on such short notice had a layover, he didn't have to wait much, so he didn't mind it at all. He fell asleep once again on the second flight and woke up more excited than ever.

He really was dying to see you, and suddenly felt like it had been years since he had you in front of him.

As soon as he got out of the airport, he searched for the nearest store to buy what you had mentioned to him. The rum and coke that sparked his trip.

Now it was time to call you. He didn't want to lose any more time and simply tapped on your contact.

Nothing felt off to you. Jungkook had already told you he would be calling today. It was a bit earlier than you had expected, you were just arriving at your place, and you hadn't even got the chance to get out of your clothes. Still, of course, you answered him at the second ring.

“hello? who is this?” you asked before he could speak.

Him, quickly catching onto you, “hello this is your Uber speaking, I'm currently outside.”

You were bad at this, you couldn't continue joking with him even if your life depended on it. All you ever did was laugh as soon as any word came out of his mouth. Just like you did now.

“I thought you were gonna call later, and that it was going to be on FaceTime if I recall?” You asked while you put your phone on speaker. Soon, you started undressing to get out of your work clothes.

“Yeah about that…” he sounded unsure on how to continue his words and after a loud sigh, he simply uttered, “I just flew 8 hours to come see you.”

Huh?

His words left you standing in your underwear, asking yourself if you heard him right. Your heart didn't even know if it should get excited or scared.

Jungkook called your name. A good minute had passed without a sound being heard from your side of the line. He laughed and added, “I’d really like to say that I am outside right now, so I need you to text me your address, alright?”

You were still confused, but finally blurted an “okay”.

You heard his laugh again. He was endeared by the way you were acting, your little to no words were making his heart skip a beat.

For you, hearing him laugh like that at you, made your cheeks turn pink. And when he told you “I’ll see you in a few minutes then, and calm down it's just me”, it made you mentally slap yourself, he wasn't meant to notice how he caught you off guard.

“Text me when you're here” was how you ended the call and proceeded to send him your address.

Well, how are you not going to be caught off guard when he says he's at the same geographic point as you???? When just a few hours ago he was at your hometown or so you thought?? When even a few minutes ago, you still believed he was just calling you? BUT NOW HE’S ON HIS WAY TO YOUR PLACE?? AND YOU’RE GOING TO SEE HIS FACE AFTER WHAT FEELS LIKE YEARS?

You were still in your underwear with all these thoughts running through your mind. You had no business blowing this out of proportion. Jungkook was right, it was just him.

And it hasn't been years, easily it's been a little bit more than three months. Three months that you haven't seen the person you’ve liked for over a year, but that you recently came to terms with. Nothing more.

You pulled yourself together and quickly dressed up. You also managed to clean your place up a bit, already assuming that Jungkook would stay. More like wanting him to stay with you.

His text came too soon, you were still mentally preparing yourself to see him when you were replying that you were coming downstairs to get him.

Once he got his eyes on you, he proved to himself how much he had missed you. In his eyes, you looked even better than before. Like an even freer version of yourself. Living on your own and doing your own thing suited you so well, and he felt something swell up in his chest.

You wore a beaming smile on your face, one that was just for him. You could swear he got even taller. His hair was definitely longer, and it was a look that had you daydreaming about running your hands through it.

There was just fondness behind the eyes of both of you. And both were terribly awkward about it. One couldn't even tell you were friends from the way you were acting around each other.

Both managed to giggle a bit. Jungkook’s coolness, absolutely gone the moment he put a step into your personal space. But now you were positive you could be excited, having him next to you made your soul know that something had come back into place.

You walked back to your apartment, your heart frantically beating and your head unable to imagine how you came into this exact situation.

Jungkook started to feel a little nervous around you, not necessarily a bad feeling, but his body kind of forgot how it felt to be with you. He just liked you too much to ever admit it to someone else, let alone admit it to his own heart.

You let him into your place and asked him to get comfortable, it didn’t leave your mind when he said he flew 8 hours to get here. You went to get him a glass of water, while he left his backpack in some corner of your living room. Then he placed a brown paper bag on your coffee table before he sat on your couch.

To you, the situation felt like it came straight out of your dreams. To be fair, this was one of the most romantic things someone has done for you. You started zoning out in the kitchen for a bit, soon to be brought back to earth when you heard Jungkook’s tired sigh.

You came back to the image of him pushing his hair back while his eyes were closed, and you almost tripped on the carpet. When he heard you back, he sat straight again and reached for the glass that was in your hand. “Thought you were going to bring out the good stuff.”

You chuckled at that and sat on the armchair next to him. “Kookie, I really don’t mean to sound rude, but what made you come here?” You said with an airy laugh, trying not to lose your smile to make him answer you. He left his water on the coffee table next to the bag, which you hadn’t noticed until now.

He had a smug expression on his face and signaled you with his eyes to grab said bag. It certainly had your curiosity, so you got up to see the contents of what he had brought. You still had your smile on you, which quickly broke into a laugh as soon as you saw what it was. You playfully hit his leg, and his face seemed pleased about your reaction.

“What?! You said that you wanted one!”

“Well yeah, but I didn’t think you’d come all this way for that!”, “i’m glad you’re here though, I was really looking forward to drinking with you tonight.”

Jungkook thought it was great that you didn’t put much thought into what he did. Because he clearly hadn’t come here just to bring you something you could have bought yourself. It even made him feel at ease that you could spend some time as friends. Restating that there were no other intentions for him besides seeing you.

The night went by fast, he made you the drink you had been longing for the past week, and then you switched to the beers you had in your fridge. All those hours were spent talking and talking. One would think that you had already told him everything about your life here, but you didn’t even know how there were more and more things to talk about. Ultimately, you ended up gossiping about both of your friend groups. Both of you only knew them by name, so it was all on good intentions. This was thanks to the alcohol you had just downed and the fact that you were in your little bubble, far away from everyone you knew.

And basically, that’s how you spent the whole weekend with him. Never-ending talks while you visited all the spots filled with tourists. Every meal, snack, and drink was shared with Jungkook. As if time had brought you back a few years ago. But it had this different feel to it. Something that you couldn’t accurately pinpoint.

Could it be the fact that you were older now? Or that you didn’t want to let him go after spending the past days together? Maybe you didn’t want to hide your feelings for him any longer.

You knew he eventually had to go. But Sunday came much too fast for your liking. And Jungkook was also upset. Upset that he had to go back to his reality far away from you.

You hugged him for the first time in three days. Somehow, both didn’t realize that there had been no physical contact between you until now. And he hugged you back. His discontent about leaving, melting away in your arms. A moment where just the two of you existed. You softly said to him, “thank you for coming all your way here, I never imagined you would do this.”

He stayed silent and preferred to keep holding you, he was afraid he would end up doing something else if he looked at you in the eye.

“I’d like for you to come back again sometime, but I’ll be back home before you know it.” You broke the hug at that and gave him a feeble smile.

“You promise?” he raised his brow and put his hands in his pockets.

You rolled your eyes at him and assured him that you would return soon. You said your goodbyes and urged him to leave before his plane took off. “Please text me when you land home, Kookie.”

Jungkook ended up way more confused about his feelings when he returned home. He still thought about you all day, just like he did before he went to see you. But now it felt borderline obsessive. You consumed his every thought, and he started thinking that he couldn’t handle it.

How did you end up not talking with him anymore?

●○●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●○●

Back to first semester at college, that’s when he met Mai.

They were such good friends for years that not even Jaehyun nor Yugyeom, and most definitely not you, noticed that they had been friends with benefits since you were all first years.

Mai has always been sweet. Almost overwhelmingly full of energy. You were aware she and Jungkook knew each other, but never did they make it seem that they were more than friends.

You had the chance to meet her when you shared some marketing classes once. And one day, you ended partnering up for a final project, who would’ve thought that she’d become one of your closest friends since then.

You loved talking to her. It was one of those really good friendships where you feel like you’ve known each other for years. You hadn’t been able to form a relationship like this with someone else from college, so you made sure you talked every minute you had together.

One day, after your classes had ended, both decided to go for some coffee.

That afternoon, she told you all about her past relationships, and you did the same. You understood each other so well as if you had been living the same life, but there was this particular story about someone from campus. Someone whom she referred to as her ‘fuckboy’.

She never wanted to tell you their name because she said that you knew them. And to be completely honest, you weren’t dying to know who this ‘mysterious fuckboy’ was. Your mind was somewhere else in that period of your life.

Once you were gone for your internship, all your friends from college kind of drifted away, except for Jungkook, obviously.

But for him, it was different. At least it had been different with Mai. She was still there for him. She’d always been openly in love with him.

So, their thing never ended. Not even when he just came back from seeing you. He still kept looking for her. Called her every other night when he was longing for someone he couldn’t have. In his mind, a relationship with you wasn’t something that could happen. He wasn’t in love with Mai, but she was all he had.

He was so sure that he could never have you, even though you’ve never done anything for him to think that way. His brain couldn’t amount to believe that he could be in a relationship with his perfect friend, so he had settled with having you as that. His best friend, who knew almost everything about him. Everything, but the fact that he liked you a little too much.

To him, that was the only way he could have you in his life.

Even after the remaining six months of your internship, you still felt the same way about Jungkook.

You wanted to feel excited about coming back and seeing him again, but ever since he visited you, you felt him switch. He started keeping many things to himself. His replies came hours later. He was no longer asking you about your day. He just felt off. And for your well-being, you wanted to assume he was having a rough time at work.

When you were finally back in town, Olivia and Van went to pick you up at the airport. Days ahead, you had planned a little get-together at a restaurant with your friends, just so you could quickly catch up with them. You had missed being with the people you loved. And as one would expect, Jungkook was one of those people.

When you let him know about your plan, he bluntly replied, “Sure, I���ll be there.”

Aside from those three, you invited a few more friends, one of them being Mai, too of course. To your surprise, she was the first one who arrived at the restaurant, and she gave you one of the most effusive and affectionate welcomes you could have expected from someone.

It made you happy to see her again after graduating, you didn’t talk much all these months, but the friendship was still there, and you loved that. You introduced her to Olivia and Van for the first time, and all of you started chatting about your return.

After a while, Mai and you turned to talk to each other, while Van and Olivia talked about who knows what.

Minutes were still passing and there was no sign of Jungkook, so, you excused yourself and went out of the restaurant to give him a call. No answer.

You let a few minutes pass and tapped his name again. This time he picked up.

“hey you” you gently greeted him. And just with that, you made him feel weak. Weak for you.

There was no way he could reply rudely to you. To someone who made him feel that way with just their voice.

“hey there stranger.” He said while pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling dumb for not knowing how to talk to you all of a sudden.

“By any chance, do you remember if you had something to do today?” you started telling him in a teasing tone.

He let the silence take over the call.

You were confused, and a little anxious that he was acting this way. Yet, you still tried to reassure him. “hey if you’re worried about meeting my friends, you don’t have to talk to them…”, “Mai is here too if that helps in some way!” Not even knowing if that was the case.

Your friends were never the problem. And of course, he knew, there was no way that he would forget that you were back. That you were finally on the same time zone as him. But he also knew that Mai was going to be there. She had asked him if he was going to show up. And he wasn’t sure that he wanted to do that. He felt somewhat guilty about it all.

Although, to the onlookers, which included you, Mai, literally everyone; there was nothing wrong with the situation.

He apologetically mumbled your name and replied, “It’s not that, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it”, “I’m really sorry.”

Trying to find out why he wouldn’t go was pointless. You wanted to avoid interrogating him, so you simply accepted his words. You were sad, yes, but you thought that now that you were in town, it would be easier to plan something and go out with him any other time. “Don’t be silly Jungkookie, there’s nothing to be sorry about, we can go out another day!”

He chuckled at your attempt to sound bright, and he felt even worse. There was nothing that he wanted to do more but to see you. Yet, his head was battling with his poor heart.

“We can talk later, okay? Have fun with your friends, please.” And then he hung up.

You were dumbstruck at that, but made your way to enter the restaurant again.

Olivia was the only one that saw your face as you were walking to the table; and somehow she knew it was something that she couldn’t ask right at this moment. Her eyes remained on you, slightly worried about how you were feeling.

You didn’t want them asking what happened or who’d you talked to. There was no need to feel upset or down when you just wanted to enjoy being with your friends. You could perfectly mope a little when you got home.

Now, while your plates were empty and with more drinks on their way, all of you started talking again. This time, it was Mai’s turn to update you about her life. Everything started well, she told you her niece was born a few weeks ago. You stayed on the baby topic for a while, just for her to change it up to her new job. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then suddenly, she dropped a bomb. A landmine of some sort.

“god i’ve been dying to tell you this”, she paused, not knowing how to string together the piece of information. “okay so, you remember that I told you I had a ‘fuckboy’, right?”

You were even excited to hear about it. To you, it was just some juicy detail about her life. Idle talk. So, you nodded at her, your anticipation on an all-time high.

“i’m actually relieved he didn’t come because i was looking forward to talking to you about this!”

He? You didn’t invite many guys. The others weren’t here yet, and the only one that knew Mai was. Oh…

“ it’s Jungkook!!! there i said it” It came as a soft shout, and she immediately kept talking about everything that has happened with them lately.

There hasn’t been a time when you turned your eyes so fast to look at Olivia. Both of you shared a look that lasted a millisecond. You were able to tell her, “ARE YOU LISTENING WHAT I’M LISTENING?????” without uttering a single word.

It’s obvious to mention the fact that Olivia knew how you felt about Jungkook. Someone had to know about the little crush you had on your friend. She knew every thought that has ever crossed your mind about the ‘bond’ you had with Jungkook. So, to be hearing what your other friend was saying about the relationship she had with him, was a shock. Olivia couldn’t even begin to imagine what you must be thinking.

First, it felt like something shattered inside you. You’re not sure if you heard a glass breaking in the restaurant, or if it was just your heart. But there was no time to feel something else. You had to collect yourself because you couldn’t let Mai see you wearing your heart on your sleeve. You had to act like everything was alright and shifted your resentment into excitement. Putting on the act that you were surprised about this piece of information.

She ended up telling you that they were still seeing each other. Most importantly, that he was the one who always called her. Inviting her to stay the night every so often.

Suddenly, you got the whole picture. You came to realize that they’ve been together all along, even before you met him, and that they’ve had this thing going on for about 4 years AND still counting.

All you could think was, “We’re friends, being involved with Jungkook is not okay, at all.”

You were truly pissed, even though it wasn't your place nor your right, to get mad about this simply because, he can do whatever he wants.

You've never been in a relationship whatsoever, he didn't owe you anything, but you were still hurt.

What if you got everything wrong, and he just sees you as a really good friend? And now, how could you let anything happen between the two of you? How, when Mai told you all that’s happened between them?

Everything that happened after that conversation, was a blur.

You vaguely remember which ones of your other friends arrived, let alone at what time or what you spoke with them.

Thankfully, no one noticed your mind had you on autopilot in some way. But now you wanted to run away from there. It had been too much for you.

When all of your friends wanted to jump into another bar nearby, you apologized and gave them the first excuse that came to your mind.

”You should go!” — “i’m starting to get tired from the flight actually, i didn’t really sleep much last night because i was eager to get here so…” you stated with a soft laugh.

“Oh my god, you’re right! i forgot you came here straight from the airport!”

“Aaw babe, you should go home and get a really good sleep”

You took out your wallet to leave them part of the bill, but everyone stopped you and Van spoke, “it’s our treat, don’t even worry about it, we’re here to take care of everything for you, we missed you.”

All of them insisted, and even one of them chimed, “you’ll pay for all of us next time, so don’t think this will happen again.”

Everyone broke out in a laugh at that, and you gave up on trying to leave them money. After that, you got up to individually hug them while telling them goodbye.

You loved your friends, but honestly, this was taking too long. You tried to keep your words to a minimum, hoping they would catch on to your tired self. In the end, you raised your voice so all of them could hear that you were more than grateful that they came to see you and that you were feeling happy thanks to them. Which was partly true, but some things were occupying your head, thus making it hard for you to focus on the people you were supposed to be valuing the most.

Olivia, who was now next to you, whispered, “want me to take you home?”

And you shook your head. She brought her hand to your cheek and both wore a dim smile on your faces. Your best friend, understanding your need to be on your head for now. “i’ll be there in the morning then.” You closed your eyes and nodded at her, accepting her company, knowing you would need someone to talk with about what you found out tonight.

With that, you waved at your friends for the last time and got out of the restaurant.

You waited for a taxi for what seemed like forever. Everything and everyone, always taking too long, exactly when you need to get away from the world. Squeezing your eyes shut, you softly spoke, “please, i just want to get home.”

And the universe did listen. A woman pulled up right in front of you, and you felt relieved.

“Where to honey?” You gave her your address and she nodded once. “Got it.”

On the way home, as you looked out of the window, you started feeling numb. You let out a heavy sigh and your driver asks, “heading home hun?”

“yeah, it’s been a really long day” and you threw your head back on the seat. She noticed your voice was taut. She didn’t voice her concern, instead, she tried to comfort you, saying that you were just a few minutes away.

“Thank you so much”, as she was speeding a bit more, she answered with the same friendly smile she had when you hopped into the taxi.

Looking out the window once again, you started feeling at home. Your building now in front of you and the woman gently lets you know you had indeed arrived.

You paused your movements, your body no longer in sync with your impatience to enter your place. Managing a tight-lipped smile, you blinked yourself back to your surroundings. Finally, you took your wallet out and handed your god-sent driver the cash you owed her and made her keep the change at the premise of swiftly making you get home.

She looked at you through the mirror. “Thank you honey”, “and also i want to say, whatever’s making you heavy, just sleep on it and i’m sure you’ll know what to do in the morning.”

As you were gathering your bags and making your way out, she says, “take care, alright?”

“You too”, “thank you so much once again, i mean it, have a good night.”

The darkness of your place washes over you once you’re inside.

You left your bags and suitcase at the door and turned a lamp on your way to your bedroom. As you were walking, you made a mental note to thank your brother tomorrow for keeping your apartment this nice and clean. Something less on your list to worry about.

You finally got into the comfort of your room and felt that the only way to get on your bed was to throw yourself face down on it.

After a while, you turned to face the ceiling for a few minutes. You were tired, but there was no sign of you actually wanting to sleep. It was an emotional weariness. An exhaustion you did not know how to get rid of. But it surely would not go away with a nap.

You leaned back on your elbows, and suddenly the emptiness of your room made you feel strange. There were little to few clothes hanging in your closet. Your desk with no sign of you either.

You knew that you had taken most of your things with you when you left, and that you put away the rest of them.

But you didn’t consider that the lack of life in your room would make you feel worse. As if you didn’t exist.

“what the hell”

You knew you had to calm down. There was literally nothing you could do about Jungkook and Mai.

Talking to yourself was the only option now.

“I doubt that the right thing to do is act upon my feelings”, “i can’t be the person that dismisses the feelings of my friend just because i wanna act on mine.”

“And why am i getting ahead of myself? What if he’s not even remotely interested in me?”

You brought your hands to your face and groaned at your thoughts. It was way more uncomfortable hearing yourself say these things out loud than you thought.

“who knows, maybe something will happen in another life”, “if i’m lucky, later in this one.”

You were so annoyed, your eyes were still closed, and whined a small ‘i don’t know'.

“I don’t know if i should simply let go right now or try something. Maybe i’m not ready for a relationship despite how I feel, but when would be the right time? There’s no such thing as that. I can’t leave it in the hands of time, i know i should do something because if i don’t, i’m gonna regret it for years, so what’s stopping me?”

While contemplating your last question, you fell asleep.

The next day, you decided to stop talking to Jungkook altogether. there would be no action directed at him anymore. didn’t search for him again, so your chat abruptly died.

He didn’t look for you either after, so you were sure you did the right thing.

Months passed, and occasionally, you’d see Mai’s Instagram stories just to be hit with the fact that they were still going out?, not knowing if they were officially together was unnerving. it was the first time you wanted to know something so bad just to have some sense of peace of mind.

Olivia heard your complaints every time you saw they went out or were at his apartment. and especially when Mai would post pictures of him playing the guitar.

Once in a while you would see how you left your conversation and hate Jungkook’s existence a little, but then you’d get further up on your texts and see how he made you laugh and how constantly you told each other ‘i miss you’, ‘i want to see you’ and even the simple ‘love you’s’ within your goodbyes.

One day, you were at your desk, wrapping up something you had been working on, but you didn’t get up from the chair. The need to write a letter to Jungkook came over you, and you immediately tore off a blank page of your journal.

“I don’t know if you wonder why I stopped talking to you, but I feel like I’m ready to explain myself. Also, I want to start by saying that I’m genuinely sorry and this isn’t an excuse for ghosting you. I want you to know that when I distanced myself from you, it was because I thought that drifting away was my only choice. I was having a really hard time with my emotions and to be completely honest, the only way I know how to deal with my feelings is to disappear. It took me so long to overcome my anger towards you and how you made me feel. You’ve always been my friend, so when I finally accepted how I felt about you… I found out about so many things that got me confused and made me realize how messy everything was. I’ve never told anyone that I’m actually dying to talk to you because I don’t know anything about you anymore, I’ve been in the dark about your life for so long that I don’t know if you’d want me back in your life after what happened. Not only that, but I’ve never thought that acting on my feelings was the right thing to do because I can’t ignore what I know. I felt selfish and dumb for being unreasonably optimistic, I dare say even hopeful that something would happen between us. But after all, I want you to know that I’ve never stopped caring about you. You’re so important to me.”

You never sent it, of course. Yet, the act of writing what you had on your chest, helped you more than you thought. The idea of Jungkook and your emotional distress started to lose their depth after that. A rush of calmness washing over you for once.

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Today was one of your best friends' birthday, Gigi’s birthday.

There was nothing out of the ordinary going on for you this particular day. You got up, cooked something, did laundry for a bit, went to pick up the cake you bought for your friend, got back home and started cleaning the mess you’d left in the kitchen, wasted some time on your phone, and then you started getting ready.

If you had known you were gonna take this long to find an outfit, you would’ve started HOURS ago, but thanks to your poor time management, you were now running an hour late.

You hadn’t actually met Gigi’s friends before, so you struggled a bit with your awkwardness. Everyone at the table was already eating when you arrived, so you had to wait until another one of her friends got there to order something. You were relieved that you weren’t the last person to show up.

An hour later, your phone screen lighted up with a notification. Someone unknown was trying to send you a message through Instagram. You quickly dismissed it, thinking it was one of those spam accounts, but then the same person contacted you through Facebook too, so now you were curious and went ahead to reply.

You thought that, whoever sent them, didn’t really know you.

For starters, you don’t like flowers.

Second, why would they send them anonymously? It was fucking creepy, to say the least.

You felt it was a really shady because who actually knew your address well enough to send flowers? You were thankful that you weren’t home because you would’ve pissed yourself.

But on second thought, it had to be someone that you knew. Someone who has taken you home before, but who?

You can’t get out of your head that if they thought it would be this big-ass romantic gesture, it wasn’t.

Also, the note had you racking your brain, there was simply no context to it.

’Bouquet of flowers that goes well with a soul made of colors’

No one that you know has ever told you ‘your soul was made of colors’ before.

Gigi said, “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that it isn’t true, you’re the light of my life, but, i really don’t understand? like, give me some context.” Your friend getting annoyed with a piece of paper.

There was just no way to recognize that verbiage. That incidentally sounded very cliché too.

You knew the flowers weren’t at fault, they were cute, but you couldn’t help but look at them with dislike?

You never thought of asking who sent them, you kept it to yourself in hope that, that someone, would reach out and ask, “did you get my flowers?”, but that text never came.

Not only that, but you wanted to believe they came from the one person you missed the most. But you wouldn’t even dare to mention his name every time one of your friends asked, “who do you think sent them?”

The following days, every time you would glance at the flowers while you were cleaning, you’d spend a good number of minutes just asking yourself the same questions over and over again.

One day, you even sat on the table looking at them with your chin on your hand, brows furrowed, not knowing who had sent this to you. It wouldn’t stop being a big question mark to you.

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Jungkook never reached out to you about the flowers. He had never done something like that for someone, so, he didn’t know what to do after they told him they had delivered them to you. When he thought about it, he was sure you’d know he was the one who bought them for you. He wanted you to know that he was sorry and that he was thinking about you still.

Sorry that everything turned out an absolute mess. But he didn’t want you to think about the negative side of it all. That’s why he came up with that poetic little line. Always in love with how you’d dye your hair different colors without a care in the world. To him, it was a reflection of your soul. Dying to be seen by everyone.

His mistake was that he never mentioned any of that to you. That’s why he never got a text from you. His hope for talking to you again, soon gone.

He wanted you back in his life. He felt miserable without seeing you. You two were in the same town, but if felt like you were miles away from him once again.

It was hurting him more than any other breakup he had experienced before. He saw how you just disappeared from his life. You were like a faint ghost, yet when you gave signs of life in your account, he saw how happy you seemed, just living life. Always with your friends and as pretty as ever.

He didn’t know what to do after he left things with Mai. He never told her why they couldn’t see each other anymore. She would rather not hear that he was in love with someone else. Because after all those years with him, she already knew that.

Mai would have wanted to ask him to stay with her at that moment. But she knew that she’d be prolonging his resistance. Conspiring with his discomfort. Jungkook has been already ‘gone’ for a year, at least. So, she preferred her words stay with her.

No matter how many years Mai had been expecting this talk, she never wanted to be ready for it. All she could muster up saying was, “let’s hope you don’t regret this.” All the hurt from her heart poured into those words.

Jungkook didn’t want to feel guilty anymore. He had the vague idea that you knew what was going on between them, but Mai didn’t know how he felt about you. And that made him decide he didn’t want to deprive you of the affection Mai felt towards you.

“I don’t think I will.”

He was tired of feeling like he’d handled everything in the worst way.

Jungkook felt lost and slightly confused. He wished he knew how to stop thinking about you. He felt like he was missing a piece of his soul. Definitely missing his peace of mind.

He remembered the last words you exchanged in that phone call and felt knots in his stomach. Wishing he had done something different. Hell, even said something different.

What have they done to me?

What have I done to myself?

There’s no point in wishing something else, it won’t change what had already happened.

Jungkook couldn’t deny anymore that he’d been feeling your absence in his core. Not quite sure what he’s supposed to do next, but, remembering your eyes and the way you smiled never failed to make him get annoyed at himself for having all these details about you, carved into his head. The notes of your voice and your laugh still playing in his head.

He promised himself then and there, that he’d try everything in him, to get you back.

He would stop denying the love he felt for you. Stop denying himself of being truly happy with the person who understood everything that he was. Only after messing up, he realized that he never should have run away before giving himself the chance to let you know how he truly felt.

A few weeks passed until he ended up building his courage to talk to you. Also pondering which way would be the best to reach you.

Just like that, all those months without talking to each other came to an end.

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It was February.

You woke up to get ready for work. Without opening your eyes, your hand reached to grab your phone and turn off the alarm. An eye open now, you scrolled through the multiple notifications from different apps. Next thing you knew, you had a text from someone. Someone you didn’t expect, at all.

Jungkook

“today is a perfect day to be happy”

That text, single-handedly, made you get out of bed.

What was the reason for that? You haven’t talked in months.

Why did he reach out to you today? On Friday? Out of all days?

You knew he was joking with what he said. It was something your mom would send. He always chose not to be serious, so it kind of made you laugh. Knowing he hasn’t changed after all.

That text, had you confused all day. Should I reply? Do I want to reply? What can I say to that?

You hadn’t been able to focus on your work all day. You were slower and kept spacing out a lot. Not one of your coworkers had seen you like this, they were even unsure if they should ask you what was going on. And thankfully so, they never asked because how would you explain that?

The friend I was in love with and mind you, I never knew that he was fucking with one of our friends for 4 years, just texted me this morning after us not talking for months.

Luckily, despite how you felt, the day went by fairly quick.

Once you were home, you decided to follow his game. You answered, “why”.

The conversation kept a casual note. You just talked about work and all you’ve been doing lately. Before you knew it, everything felt as if nothing had happened between you. As if the recent blank period hadn’t existed at all.

Valentine’s was coming up this week, and you had zero expectations for it. There was nothing for you to do. All your friends had plans with their partners, so that left you to spend the whole day eating and catching up on your dramas and anime.

You talked on the phone to Olivia the next day, her mostly wanting to talk to you about what she did with Kevin, her boyfriend. And for you to help her what to give as a gift for her upcoming anniversary. But she suddenly brought up Jungkook into the mix.

“what have you been talking about, then? it’s been like a week, right?”

Your laugh came up like you were nervous of talking about him. “mostly work, why?”

She laughed about your response and went straight to the point.

“he didn’t invite you to anything yesterday?” Apparently, it was a laughing fest because that made you chuckle once more.

Then you hummed, thinking about the best way to put yesterday’s situation. “i don’t know if i imagined it or if i wanted to believe that, but i thiiiiiink he was throwing hints about going out.”

“i played dumb though”, “also got me thinking that maybe something happened between him and Mai.”

Your friend couldn’t believe how dense you could get at times. But she didn’t say anything, she simply asked you, “something like what? like they fought or something?”

“not like that, but i don’t know, i’m just making up theories” your giggle coming out once again.

“i saw that she went out with another friend and JK kept telling me that he wanted to go out, but none of his friends wanted to haha.”

“mmmm, he definitely wanted to go out with you. maybe he was hoping you’d take pity on him and end up telling him ‘aw, we should go out then’, I’M SURE OF IT.”

“yea- about that, we kind of already have plans sometime in the next week, hah.”

You heard your friend mumbling something that sounded very much like an ‘oh my god’.

Then she laughed loudly into the speaker. “WHERE ARE YOU PLANNING TO GO, TELL ME EVERYTHING.”

Nervously, you started explaining how the conversation went. “mmmmm, i don’t know yet.”

“he just asked if i was busy next week and i said ‘not that i know of’ and he asked if i wanted to go out and i said yes and THAT’S IT.”

“mmmmm let’s see what happens”, “and listen i didn’t know if i should say it but i thought it was weird that he texted you after all this time, i know that technically you never stopped being friends but, you know, feels kinda sus BUT, who am i to know… just keep me posted about your plans.”

With that, your conversation about Jungkook ended, and you moved onto another subject.

Days were passing and Jungkook actively chose not to tell you where you were going nor at what time you’d see each other. All you knew was that it would be on Saturday.

He’s always been like this.

But that’s exactly what you liked about him. He was always spontaneous. Life felt different with him. Freer. Like nothing could tie you down. Always up to do something new without being scared of the ‘what if’s’.

The weekend came. And it’s been the most nervous you’ve ever been this year. But you could also say that you were excited.

Because it’s been a long time since you’ve seen him.

Your mind refused to think about what happened last year. The memories you had with him before all that, flooded your mind. And it somehow made you hopeful. Hopefully, maybe nothing has changed between you, and maybe, just maybe… you could carry on with how things were on that weekend you spent together.

All you could think about was how you felt back then. How happy you were when you saw him at the entrance of your building. How attracted you felt to him. How your heart jumped when you heard his voice in person once again.

You were hoping that, all that happened one more time, today.

When you finally arrived at the restaurant, he told you, he was already there waiting. His eyes were searching for you incessantly, that when they found you, the weight of the past few days, weeks, months was lifted off his shoulders.

It was the same thing all over again. Both of you were awkward enough to act like you’ve never met before. Afraid of giving each other a hug after all this time.

Once you were past that, you started talking like you always have. The same friends from 5 years ago. Sharing laughs over something one of your friends did. Telling the other how someone from work got you frustrated, complaining about it, like you were talking about homework or a school project.

He had seemed to be doing well at his work. He sounded happy talking about it. But the conversation eventually came back to talk about the dream he’s had since forever. Thrilled just by contemplating going some place far away and live off music on his own. Kind of lonely if someone asked you.

What you didn’t know is that he has never talked about that with anyone but you. He always felt comforted telling you about everything that was on his mind because you never questioned his feelings, you always supported him in what he thought he wanted.

While you talked, Jungkook started thinking deeply. How did someone like them came into my life?

In his mind, it was very present how he managed to lose you once. He wanted to imagine how you felt when you grew apart these months thanks to him. Had you been angry? Sad? Did you hate him?

But none of that mattered anymore. While looking at you, he didn’t see any trace of resentment or hatred. He knew how you were towards people you didn’t like, and he felt like he wasn’t part of them and felt relieved.

A few beers later and you still weren’t drunk. Nor tipsy.

Unconsciously, or possibly, ignoring on purpose that you were feeling a bit on edge with this situation.

It wasn’t that late, but a sudden shift in you made you want to leave. Jungkook hadn’t done anything wrong, but your gut was telling you something and your head didn’t want to ignore it despite not understanding.

“i have to head off now, Kook, it’s getting late for me.”

“ah, don’t say that, i was about to ask you if you wanted to come home and have some shots.”

Your stomach twisted at those words. Were you disgusted at that? Was it your nerves? They weren’t butterflies fluttering, for sure.

In the attempt to not turn things awkward, you pretended to be surprised and asked him what kind of shots.

“i think i just have tequila right now, haha”

You playfully looked at him with narrowed eyes as if you were considering going along with his plan, when in fact you just wanted to run from there.

A single glance to your phone and you declined his offer. “i really need to go now haha, i’d like to but maybe next week or something? what do you say?”

Jungkook naively smiled at that and nodded. “sure, we can do that, just tell me when you’re gonna be free.”

You got closer to him to give him a kiss on his cheek and part ways. While walking away, he half-shouted “tell me when you get home!” which you responded by waving at him.

On your way home, something felt off to you. And it was really hard to shake off that feeling. Everyone always says you need to trust your gut, your instincts, intuition, or whatever. But no one tells you how to navigate through those things, those emotions that seem to be overpowering your thoughts.

You didn’t know for sure what Jungkook’s plan entailed. Maybe you were getting ahead of yourself, already anticipating an outcome you didn’t like. Countless “what-ifs” flash through your mind, and every single one leads you to him trying to have sex with you.

For the second time tonight, you felt uneasy, your stomach twisting uncomfortably.

His words repeating in your head.

ask you if you wanted to come home and have some shots

ask you if you wanted to come home and have some shots

ask you if you wanted to come home and have some shots

Why weren’t you trusting him? It genuinely made you believe he wanted more. You were starting to feel a little disappointed in yourself for having those thoughts.

It’s always been the two of you. Many times you’ve spent time with him alone. But some lines were never crossed. Not even when he slept at your place a year ago.

Somehow, him taking you to his home, changed everything.

Were you going insane? After all, he’s a man, why else would he invite you back to his place so soon? And just to have a few drinks? You were sure his vibe was somewhere else, and the last thing you wanted was to complicate things after him coming back to your life.

Tonight you were able to realize that things change and nothing can come back and be how it was. You were excited, and you thought you would feel a million pretty things to be exact, but that wasn’t the case, maybe your expectations were a little too high.

Being able to experience this was definitely something, kind of eye-opening, so you could know that you have no control over love.

As you were thinking that, a text, from someone who refused to let go of you (it was mutual to be perfectly honest), lighted up your phone screen.

Yoongi.

He always appears at the worst best times. Just like that first night, when you decided to go out by yourself to a bar in a city where you didn’t know anybody, thanks to Jungkook messing with your feelings.

Your gazes found each other in the crowded room; the spark of attraction ignited. You talked, danced, laughed, shared a few drinks, a joke and, before you knew it, he said: "your place or mine?". Neither of you were looking for a serious relationship but somehow one night turned into a week, then a month and here we are, a year and a half later.

Things with Yoongi were easy. Your talks were funny and cute, you felt at ease around him, like you had known each other since forever.

But all he was, was your something. And both of you were perfectly good with that.

In one of your many nights together, you told him you lived in another state. “i figured.”

“it would be too much for this poor city if we could actually be together.”

You laughed and followed up his thought, “we could end up being a public menace with the way we’re always all over each other.”

You were curled up against him, and he was rubbing your arm.

“Do you already know when you’re leaving?”

You pursed your lips and told him, “mmm i still have like six more months.”

He seemed to think it over. But he already knew what he wanted to do before his words came out.

“Well, i don’t know about you, but i’m not letting you run away from me that easily”, he paused. “would you like if I went to see you once in a while?”

All you could do was smile. You wanted to toy with him or say something witty, but your head quickly decided to eagerly nod at Yoongi.

“Are you serious? You would do that?”

The look you had in your eyes made him giggle. “well, obviously, I’d rather not stop seeing the person whom I can’t seem to get my hands off.”

“Plus, i don’t want to forget how your tongue tastes in my mouth.”

“We can’t let that happen, right, baby?”

The hand, he had on your arm, had now moved onto your thigh. The air in his room no longer felt cold. And the way he called you baby, had you breathing embarrassingly heavier.

With his other hand, he grabbed the right side of your face and took his time inspecting it. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, and it just made him crave you more.

When he finally kissed you, you moaned. The tension he built up made you needy for him. Adding the fact that, just minutes ago, this man had told you he wanted to keep seeing you, the distance not fazing him at all.

“Did you just moan?”, “how are you so shameless?” He said while smirking. Clearly satisfied with your reaction.

You hid your face in his chest and mumbled, “it’s your fault, shut up.”

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Amazingly so, no one knew about that thing you had with Yoongi. He was your precious little secret and well, it was kinda hard to explain what you were doing. There was no reason to talk about him since you weren’t living in the same town.

It didn’t mean that he wasn’t part of your life though, he was actually very present in your day-to-day.

Even though you both were overwhelmed with work, you made time for each other almost every night, even if it was just an hour.

In this time apart, you actually got to know each other even more than you thought, and your head started thinking about him way more than before.

You already knew he was an audio engineer, but until now, he told you how much he enjoys being in concerts and festivals. That his job makes him travel a lot, but it’s not as fun as you would think.

After finding out you had similar taste in music and that you loved being in that environment, he started inviting you to countless concerts. Concert invites turned to visits to your hometown, and those visits turned to promises of traveling together some place else.

This time around, Yoongi had you excited about life.

Your daydreaming started to include him.

And soon, you began to feel confused. This was the first time in your life that you had been talking to two guys.

Last year, you wouldn’t have imagined you’d feel this way about Yoongi. Just until now, you understood what ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ really meant.

Maybe you never saw it as something potentially romantic because your heart was still set on Jungkook at the time.

But situations change. And it’s more than possible for one to feel different about someone because nothing’s the same anymore. It’s not because people change, essentially we do, but it’s mostly because something made us think differently. You opened your eyes. And there’s no way to fix that, you just have to let it happen.

Even though you took some time apart from seeing Jungkook, you still talked to him. You just needed time to sort out your thoughts about that last time you saw him.

You still like him very much so, and your newly found confusion about what to feel for Yoongi, made you want to search for Jungkook again.

You were sure you were doing something wrong. Nothing was set in stone, but that didn’t stop you from feeling guilty about it.

Exactly when that guilt was running through your mind, Yoongi texted you.

“i miss you, i’ve been thinking about you all week”

“i’m going to be there next month for a few weeks, so don’t make any plans”

“can’t believe i didn’t know i was one of those people that catch a 6-hour flight just for some kisses”

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There are days when things happen too quickly. Things you never planned.

You had a couple of days when you just wanted space. Maybe it was because you haven’t allowed yourself some time to process the past rollercoaster of emotions you got yourself into.

But that’s all you wanted, a few days to have some time alone, to recharge, before Yoongi arrived next week.

You’ve been doing this for years, and people were always concerned with you when you disappeared for a few days. You really wish you could follow the same advice you give to your friends.

“Don’t run away when things are hard, your friends are here for you.”

“Don’t drift away from me.”

But that’s all you’ve ever known, dealing with yourself on your own. You’re aware that it may not be healthy, but when you’re alone, you try to overcome your problems, feelings, or whatever’s bothering you. How can a little time to self-reflect be wrong?

This time, Olivia and Van exaggerated a bit. It had been like four days you hadn’t talked or texted anyone and their mind went to think the worst had happened to you. What ticked you off, was that four days had to pass before they checked on you, but whatever.

Turns out that Olivia and Van reached out to you because Olivia’s birthday was coming up on Monday, and they wanted to know if you were going out with them on Saturday.

obviously, yes, what kind of friend do you think I am???

Saturday came, and you never imagined this day would turn out like this.

First. You had been with Olivia since early in the morning. Breakfast was nice cause you were able to catch up on everything that happened since you last saw each other. Later, you decided to go get your nails done for tonight, but Olivia’s car died at like 1:00 p.m. Totally out of nowhere.

“Has this happened before?” You asked. “No, never, I really don’t understand why it won’t start.” Olivia started getting nervous because she didn’t have someone who could run to help. Her ex wouldn’t even answer her, and everyone else was far from where you were.

And you thought life wanted to have some fun because maybe it was a coincidence that Jungkook’s work was nearby, and he was just getting off. Really JUST a coincidence. “Don’t worry, actually I think Jungkookie can come to help us, just let me ask him.”

But tell me, why are you nervous to call him? It’s just him.

So, you called him to ask for help, and he was a lifesaver in its absolute glory. He arrived in about 15 minutes and got the car started immediately. You didn’t even say hello properly, you just waved at him as soon as you saw his car approaching you.

“He looks nice.” Olivia whispered to you while Jungkook was closing the hood of her car, then said to him, “I can’t believe you got here so fast, my dad or my sister would have got here in at least an hour!”

You could only manage to see their interaction unfold in front of you because you had no words. It’s been years since you were speechless because of someone. You literally couldn’t find the reason for being on edge like this. He giggled and told your friend “well, you’re lucky I work close by and that I got off early today.”

You were leaning against his car now, and it got you even more nervous that you couldn’t see his eyes because he was wearing sunglasses.

Well now you have to say something, now that you’re feeling two pairs of eyes on you.

“How was work today? wasn’t there a lot of traffic on your way here?” You finally spoke, your eyes directed at him, and he just smiled as he heard your voice at last.

It has been more than a month since he last saw you and, currently, he was certain that he had missed you.

“Yeah it was cool, and you know, you can’t escape traffic.” You nodded shyly and Olivia wanted to help you, she hasn’t seen you behave like this in a while.

So, she asked, “Have you eaten already?” and before he could say something she kept explaining, “We’re gonna go eat with my family for my birthday, you can come if you'd like!”

Now it was his turn to be a little uncomfortable at this. He would rather not get in the middle of your plans as much as he wanted to spend time with you, so he declined.

“No, don't worry about it! I’m actually going to see one of my friends to grab something.” You asked him, “Are you sure? I mean, you did us a big favor with her car” And he said almost exclusively to you, “It’s okay y/n, you know you can ask me anything.”

You would be lying if you said you didn't have your body on fire with those words.

But you were still feeling awkward around him, and you just wanted to get into the car again. Olivia took her chance to talk again. “You could cut the tension with a knife in here, right?” She felt an intense glare coming from you and continued, “Well, if you can’t come with us, we should get going y/n.”

You turned your eyes to Jungkook and said, “I guess we’ll see each other another day”. He gave you one of his biggest smiles and replied, “Sure, just tell me when”, “bye Olivia”. You got close to him and hugged him. Almost a whisper, “Thank you for this, I mean it.”

And with that, you got into Olivia’s car and asked her, “Are we really going to go with your family?” She was retouching her makeup a bit, as you were putting your seatbelt on, she let out a weird laugh, “Oh god y/n no, I was just trying to be polite with him, I saw you being weird so… that's why we're ‘eating with my family’” Olivia made quotes in the air, so you could finally understand what she meant.

“Can we go for something to drink? I’m dying for something, coffee, tea, 5 shots of vodka anything please” Olivia laughed again as you told her this. The weather today was really hot, you mentally patted yourself in the back for your outfit choice, you could be ugly sweating if you had chosen something else.

As soon as you got yourselves a bubble tea, you started to calm down and process everything that happened half an hour ago. “Can you please tell me why the fuck I was so shy back there?” Your head now in the dashboard of your friend’s car.

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Evening came, and you honestly just wanted to relax and have some drinks to celebrate your best friend’s birthday. However, the interaction you had earlier with Jungkook would not leave your head.

At the time you arrived to the bar with Olivia, you were feeling somewhat anxious. You wanted Jungkook to be there with you.

You were waiting in the queue until the staff could assign you a table. Van and her boyfriend were the first ones to arrive, so they took the task to adopt you tonight, the reason being that you were the only single person in the group.

I want to invite him.

You’ve been texting all day, but you weren’t sure you could show up with him tonight. You didn’t know who did Olivia invite, and you were worried that it was inappropriate to treat this as if you could invite whoever you wanted.

The first drink arrived. It was very naïve of you to think it would relax you whatsoever. All that alcohol did was make you desperate to have Jungkook right there, next to you.

I really really want to invite him.

Eventually, (like 10 minutes later), you finally asked Olivia if it was okay for you to ask him to come with you. Just after she told you it was totally fine, you thought how dumb it was for you to worry about something like that.

It didn’t take you more than once to ask Jungkook if he wanted to come, he almost ran to you. You could’ve sworn he was ready to be there even before you thought about inviting him.

You weren’t even halfway of your second drink when he called you to say that he had arrived at the bar. In the matter of a few minutes, you no longer were the ‘single’ friend in the group. Now you had your Jungkookie.

There are days when things happen too quickly. Things you never planned.

‘Things’ meaning ‘kissing’.

The thing is, that first kiss you shared, was long overdue.

All your emotions were conveyed in the touch of your lips. From your frustrations, resentments and regrets to your purest ones, as affection in its greatest form and lastly, the burning desire that had just ignited inside both of you.

It all happened on pure instinct. You hadn’t shut up for 5 minutes, and he was hearing you intently, looking straight in your eyes.

Then the urge to kiss was all you could think of. He could no longer focus in what you were saying, and neither did you. why am I talking?

Jungkook’s heart started beating faster. Not because he was nervous, but because your face was so close to his, and he could smell your perfume fused with the alcohol you’ve been drinking. Even though none of you was able to register how fast it happened, it still wasn’t happening fast enough.

For a long time, Jungkook kissed you. He pulled back a little. He was still staring at you, and you stared right back as Jungkook kissed you again, entirely different from the first time.

You blushed at the thought that there were people watching you share this moment. But you were happy. You weren’t confused right now. It just felt right to be here with him.

You didn’t think you’d get to do this in this universe. Kissing your friend whom you had been pining for 2 years.

“I think we should get back.” You shyly told him with a smile.

He returned you his most precious smile and his hand slid down your arm until it reached your hand and intertwined your fingers with his. “Let’s go then.”

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You stayed with your friends through the rest of the night, but you never let go of Jungkook’s hand, and he wasn’t planning on it either.

The night ended when Olivia got much too drunk to stand up on her own. Van and her boyfriend handled the account at the bar, while you and Jungkook took care of taking your best friend home.

He drove you to her home while you stayed in the back seat with Olivia to help her stay conscious in Jungkook’s car.

You got closer to the console and rested your head on the side of the driver’s seat, your hand dying to get a hold of Jungkook again.

“Thank you.” It came as a soft mumble, and suddenly the traffic light turned red.

Jungkook turned his head to see you, and the way you were looking at him caught him off guard.

Your eyes were looking upwards at him, with stars in your eyes, sparks falling on him, and you spoke again, “you’ve saved us twice today.”

His gaze was still fixated on you, he smiled and said, “i already told you, you can ask me anything and i’ll do everything for you.”

The softness in your voices made you think that you would never forget a single detail of this night. All you could do was appreciate how strange and brief the most beautiful moments in life are.

You got to Olivia’s house and Jungkook helped you carry her all the way to her bed. And as much as you may have wanted to stay one more hour with him, you kissed him goodbye. And kissed him again. Then he kissed you. And his hand went behind your neck and pulled you closer to his face, even if it was physically impossible. He wanted to kiss you until one of you couldn’t even breathe anymore.

That feeling. That desire. Where was it coming from?

“I’ve been waiting for the longest time to have you like this.” He spoke to your ear while catching his breath.

“You’re the one who was late, dummy”, “but we can’t do this tonight.”

“I know, but I just don’t want to leave you here. I feel like you’re going to disappear from me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Kookie.” You moved your hand down his face, and rested it on the back of his neck. He tightened his arm around your waist, and you closed the distance again to give him a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you next week, alright?”

He nodded at your words and as he was pulling back from you, both his hands hastily went to grab a hold of your head just to give you the last kiss of the night.

Neither of you said anything else, you just giggled at his actions and sent him off to his house.

You both could not help but be drawn to each other.

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Monday and everything was going according to plan. In perfect harmony.

Yoongi was finally arriving tonight and you couldn’t be more excited to see him. It was almost a joke when you told him you were counting the hours until you were next to him.

But first, you were going to spend all day with Olivia, celebrating her birthday.

After collecting her birthday cake and flowers, you made your way to pick up your best friend to take you to the restaurant where Van, her boyfriend and your other friends would be waiting for the two of you.

After all the birthday antics directed towards your best friend, you almost felt bad that now all the attention had been brought to you and what happened last Saturday.

Even Olivia’s attention was all over you, urging you to tell them everything, EVERY-THING.

Van’s boyfriend was the first one to literally ask about Jungkook. “So who’s the handsome guy, huh? I liked him.” One raised eyebrow, eager to hear what you had to say.

Everyone went quiet, listening carefully to basically your whole story with Jungkook until the other day. Faint gasps were heard. Hands over mouths, eyebrows raised. One would think you were telling the most dramatic story ever heard in this century.

You started telling it with a lot of enthusiasm, but as you went on and thought back about why you stopped talking to him, it all felt so vivid once again. It was upsetting to feel like that over something you thought you had already put behind.

Once you finished, Van spoke, “Well, I know I didn’t see much of him but, he seems really nice towards you, I could tell he likes you a lot.”

“He actually helped us get my car going the other day, he REALLY is nice, like, he didn’t have to go do all that, but he got on his way as soon as y/n called him, fucking Kevin wouldn’t have done that for me…”

Van’s boyfriend had his chin resting on his hand, just nodding at everything your friends were saying, taking in all the information. “We should go on a double date.”

“Like, this Saturday.”

You laughed almost in disbelief. Brows furrowed “Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn't I be?!! I told you I liked him!”

“Babe, you like everyone…” Van said while patting his hand.

“Well I like him most, he looks cool and like he can hold his drinks”, “text him right now and tell him that.”

“Tell him that I INVITED him!”

“Not fair you guys”, Olivia told you and pursed her lips. “I want to go tooooooo.”

“Well you can go but, heads up, we’re all gonna be busy eating each other’s faces.”

Van raised her index finger, clarifying that thought, “WITH OUR RESPECTIVE PARTNERS.”

You did send Jungkook that text and he responded straight away, but you kept joking around with your friends, that you forgot to text him back. “Of course I’ll go, I’m dying to see you” “tell them I say thanks for the invite too 😉”

But also because something else was on your mind.

Your attention went to your friends and occasionally to your watch. The thrill to see Yoongi, after a year of him existing solely through your screen, was on a new height.

The thought of him being already on his way to see you had you acting 100x sillier with your friends. And you actually couldn’t wait anymore to be in his arms.

Soon, a text came.

“I’m waiting to pick up my bags, it’ll take me around 20 minutes I think?”

“Where are you? are you still with your friends?”

You didn’t waste any more time at that and you hurriedly said goodbye to everyone. It almost seemed out of the blue. But you couldn’t care any less, you needed to be with Yoongi now.

You went to the airport as fast as you could and thankfully, you were the one that waited Yoongi for a couple of minutes.

The instant you saw each other, Yoongi dropped his bags and opened his arms. This made you run towards him to not hug, but to cling to his torso.

His scent assaulted you. This fresh citrusy smell, like warm wood, was all you could perceive. It reminded you of the countless days and nights you spent with him. Wrapped in his clothes and arms. You missed him.

He beat you to say it first though. “i’m not gonna deny that i missed you a lot.”

“Yoongi… i really really wanted to be with you.”

“I’m here now.”

With a groan, you buried your face in his neck and he quickly began stroking your hair. “i missed you Yoongi.”

He was thankful that you couldn’t see his face right now because he was flushing. He giggled and told you, “me too y/n.”

“I say we should get going now so I can show you how much I miss you, what do you think?” He finally put you down, still in front of him. Then when you bent down to help him with one of his bags, he stopped you and took your hand in his. “Tell me.”

“what? you want me to tell you how needy I am for you?” You wanted to give him the most puppiest eyes ever, but the way you were craving him got in the way you held your gaze.

He grabbed his bags and then whispered to your ear, “it would be nice, but i already know how needy you get around me.”

He was right, still you smiled like a kid caught doing something naughty.

“do you now?”

“you shouldn’t be surprised baby, just because we didn’t see each other for a year doesn’t mean i forgot everything about you”, “i couldn’t stop thinking about every little thing that i like about you.”

“god Yoongi, please stop talking or i swear i’m going to do something indecent.”

The smirk in his face hasn’t gone for a while. “when has that stopped us before?”

“but alright, i’ll be a good boy and wait for you to be indecent at your house.”

He ended with a kiss on the top of your head and both started walking towards the exit. You went for one of his bags to help him carry it, mostly with the intention of holding his hand once again.

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I don’t know why I always want to run away?

I want things I can’t have.

I’m confused now. I felt so good on the weekend, but I don’t know what to feel as of now.

I want Yoongi. I don’t know if I should wait for that possibility but, he’s what I want.

And now that I experienced what I always wondered and wanted, and actually enjoyed being with Jungkook, I can’t see past that. Is it normal? Is it bad?

Am I getting my feelings mixed up? Right now I feel like I don’t know myself. I was so happy on Sunday. I felt so calm, life was treating me so well.

But until yesterday, when I started telling my friends about Jungkook, I started to remember about last year and, I got so insecure.

Today I craved Yoongi’s attention. I felt so needy. Why are my feelings suddenly so strong with him?

I know I can’t keep myself closed up, that I need to experience relationships, but I also feel like I’m in no hurry. But when I say that, I feel like a coward. Just keeping myself safe without learning. I know I shouldn’t be scared of getting hurt, but I can’t help it when I literally don’t trust anyone.

As much as I love Jungkook, I can’t trust him.

Strangely, I don’t even want to know what he’s thinking. I just want to be sure of what I feel, because when I know that, I’m certain that I won’t be afraid of the outcome.

What’s making me feel like this? Is it him? Is it my fears or something else in me?

I don’t recognize my feelings right now, I’m not even worried, I just feel uneasy.

Maybe it’s uncertainty? I hate not knowing what I should do.

When will I make up my mind?

Maybe if it were someone else, I wouldn’t be overthinking this.

Something tells me that things with Jungkook won’t be right. I can’t see my future with him.

I have this idea of what I want to feel when I’m sure that I’m in love and I don’t know if I’m romanticizing it too much, but this isn’t it.

I have the sensation that my freedom’s been taken away.

I don’t understand myself, while I wasn’t sure of anything, I still feel like it was nice to be with him.

But now I know that I don’t want something serious with him. He’s not my person.

If he was, I wouldn’t be thinking of someone else.

I wouldn’t be thinking of how much I want to be with Yoongi and do everything with him.

I’m not in love.

I won’t keep this going, because I know it won’t make me happy.

I don’t want to sneak at night. I don’t want to tiptoe in the mornings so no one knows I was there. I don’t want silent awkward car rides. I want to feel loved.

I don’t know if I’ll hurt him, I feel guilt all over again. But I haven’t forgotten what I promised myself. That I won’t make myself go through things I don’t want to do, just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Maybe this was bound to happen and maybe I just messed up our friendship.

But it’s just another ending. Feelings change and I can’t do anything about that. I won’t force them on me just for the sake of someone else. How could I know that I’d end up feeling like this?

I shouldn’t have kissed Jungkook.

[muqiing]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[hikari-writes]

❅A Love Letter I Have to My Lovely and Beloved Friends❅

(I just know that 30 july was a national friendship day and today is like 31 july already at where I am but,,, just pretend that this is also for National Friendship Day 🤡🔫)

As you all know, it's been confirmed that I'll be going on a hiatus two days from now that I really don't know how long it will go on. So, with that in mind, I wished to leave this message to all the wonderful friends I've made while I was active here on Tumblr during quarantine.

I've started this writing blog a few months ago, to be precise, on May where life in quarantine was starting to become a norm. In the few months until now, I did my best to start writing and drawing more using all the free times that I have.

I wouldn't have expected this blog to grow so much in such a short time. To me, it was really mind blowing, seeing that there's a lot of other great content creators here on Tumblr. Yet, the 300+ people who stumbled upon my blog still decided to follow me.

I was really happy to have made many contents that I'm actually proud of posting. And I still can't believe there are people out there who love them. Seeing every one of your comments and reblogs and likes really, really, squeezed my heart and I couldn't be more thankful for your support.

And during these fun times, I was able to make friends with many amazing, talented, fantastic and all the good words I could find in the dictionary people on here. You all are a real gift to me and I hold you guys close to my heart.

I still can't believe I was able to befriend you guys though, like, y'all are so amazing and I was just here like squeaking my name to you like a shy mice lmao. =///= Anyways, thank you for all the good and fun times. Thank you for being with me and helping me with lots of things. Just, thank you for everything. (I'm writing this at 1am like it's sad hours yall I'm crying :')))

If you are ever feeling down, do not ever forget that, even if it's only me, I'll support you to the end of the world because you're just so amazing and fantastic. I love you and never let any hate that's thrown at you let you down because they aren't worth your time.

The people I'll be mentioning below are my dear friends or just people that I have been interacting with during the times I was online, little or not, I still consider you guys to be my friends (very self-proclaimed here sorry)and I'm still honoured by that fact.

@your-local-bnha-writer -Bean, you and your posts are always so wholesome and cute and I love them. Keep being amazing, and we may not interact much, but I still appreciate every little convos we had. Also, wish you luck on tpn, that shit hurted :')

@identifybby -Liaaaa, omg im so v v grateful we became friends. You've helped me with a tons of things and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to me. You're just so amazing and thank you for always putting up with me, i love you sm.

@minteasketches -Mintea! You're such an amazing artist and I rlly enjoyed our conversations! You might not see this since you're off socmed but just wanna let u know that thank u for being my friends.

@yandere-of-your-dreams -Heyyy sis,, you're always such a sweet bean to me and showering me w love and i appreciate them, stay amazing and I'm sure you'll become an amazing writer.

@shotobabe -Ren, wifey, ilysm thank u for always being with me. You're such an awesome person and keep on being yourself. You're perfect and talented, don't let others tell you otherwise. AND while I'm gone, don't forget to drink lots of water okay? I won't be able to remind you while I'm on a hiatus, but please always remember to drink water. That'd be the first thing I'll ask you once I'm able to be online. And please try to eat more okay bb? I love u.

@takumipineapplexd -Taku! Amazing writer and amazing editor, yes I'm talking about you. You're amazing and keep on making cursed content and being crackhead, i love them.

@bnhabadass -We might not talk much, but I just want to let you know that you're so amazing and I look up to u v much. Literally had a heart attack when u commented on angel wings lmao.

@tomomoni -Mon, love, soft bean, I LOVE U. You've always been so wholesome and cute to every one of your followers and seeing ur interactions literally heals my heart. Your art is amazing so continue being amazing ilysm thank u for being an amazing advisor and listener, I'm v grateful for that. You have no idea how blessed I am to have you as a friend. Meeting you through turn on your airdrop's fanart was F A T E.

@kamabukokompachiro -First time u asked my permission to read my fanfic, I legit teared up. Thank u sm for asking, I couldn't be happier to know that my fic is worthy to be read over for a yt channel. Keep on being amazing and ily.

@kaminii -Kamiiiii, sweet child, you're always so matured and calm and I really adore and respect that part of you (unlike me im v childish and rash) You're an amazing writer and editor and ur aesthetic? 100/10. Love it. You're so talented despite being so young and I'm just, WOW. Ily and thank u for being friends w me. And please fix your sleeping schedule bb. It's rlly not good for your health, like please? Ily.

@katsucutie -I love you and your writing so v much, and I rlly enjoyed talking to you, discussing about Burn Book was rlly fun. I might not be able to know the ending since im gonna go on a hiatus but I'll be sure to catch up to it once im back. Keep being amazing and awesome.

@isolshi -CHERIE, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING. Don't be so insecure about your writing. They're amazing. And you're also one of the sweetest and cute person I've met here. I always love teasing you cause your reaction is always so funny and cute. Keep being awesome. And please, please, please get enough sleep and drink LOTS of water. I legit would cry if you don't drink more water cher.

@mirakeul -BIANCAAAAA LOVE YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND SWEET LiKE--- please, I love talking to you and thank you so much for always reminding me to eat. Your calligraphy and handwriting are awesome, shshh i don't take criticism. Never stop writing, I love them. And please never forget I love you and you're my best friend okay?

@roxybefab -You've always been the first to ask me to be on my taglist and I'm so v happy because of that. Thank you for everything, and keep on being awesome. You can do this, ily.

@princessofdawn718 -Talking to you about Hamefura has been so fun! I haven't talked w many ppl about isekai so im rlly glad I could talk about them w you. Katarina x nicol ftw! Thanks for talking to me, it was such a pleasure rlly.

@softkodzuken -Maam your writing is A M A Z I N G. I love anon sm and you're rlly so sweet for always replying to every single comment on them. Don't be so insecure about them, they're amazing and i will always stand by that point. Wishing you the best of luck for Undercover!

@lolitsleia -Your art is *chef's kiss* i love them so much, I still can't believe you hadn't had more recognition like why?? Ur oc alex is the cutest thing ever and i love her. Thank you again for drawing Yuki. She looked really beautiful and cute in your drawing.

@samanthaa-leanne -We may not talk much, but when you first followed me back, my heart goes B O O M. You're so amazing and keep being like that. And uh,, good luck with Violet Evergarden if you ever plan to watch it. Prepare a couple of tissue boxes....or dozens.

@miyumtwins -Fellow android users! I first saw you through Bean's post about a tag game and i was like *gasp* another androiders..! I swear that one time i was interacting w you, I didn't actually meant to go off anon,, yes im dumb lmao. Anyways, you're rlly amazing and I'm rlly honoured to be followed by you.

@kawasuno -Your smau? 100/10. Your sense of humour 100/10. They're just so perfect *chef's kiss* I love every one of your updates and they always managed to put a smile on my face, i was like, how did you do that? My sense of humour is nonexistant, teach me your ways sensei. But anyways, you're rlly amazing and awesome. Keep up w that.

@kukusbabe -Tsu, I've never said this, but it's you. It's always been you all along. What i mean is, I've followed you first (i knew u through zara's flopping server yeah!) And when i looked at my dash and saw all your interactions w your moots, despite me haven't legally started haikyuu yet, i decided to follow all of them, soooo if it's not for you, we may not have met each other. Everyone in the kita family, Tsu is the MVP here muah. Also your aesthethic and writing and everything is so kajsjhendnd amazing i LOvE---

@iwaixiumi -King Nami, you're so awesome and amazing,, and I'm really glad to be able to interact w you. All those songs you recommend? Yeah, I'm going to listen and love all of them, thank u so much for the recs. Keep being amazing and to everyone reading this, PLEASE INTERACT WITH KING NAMI MORE SHE DOESN'T BITE---

@shoutodoki -Hello, you're so amazing and talented and im just,,, kekkdjfjdj when you followed me--- and when u figured out i was the anon talking about oboro i was OAKSJEJDDJ please, i was so honoured u know, like ???? Anyways, keep on writing what you love and your art maam? THEY'RE AMAZING LIKE BOTH YOUR ART AND WRITING IS SO KAJSJDJDN pliS im so v honoured to be able to talk to you.

@lisarillia -Please excuse me while I go shout in the corner of how much i LOVE your arts. They're amazing and being able to talk to you was a real pleasure. Keep on doing what you love. They'll be amazing no matter what i swear.

@cutiedrawsbnha -Cutie, honey, you're amazing and your art is so cute! Don't let what haters said get to you. You're going to grow into an amazing artist. If you give in and listen to what they said, you're going to end up like what they said so ignore them honey! I believe in you so keep shipping izuocha, todomomo, and kamijirou and making arts. Lotsa love!

@lilikags -Heeyyyy you sweet cute innocent bean! Don't ever stop writing what you love, you'll grow into a big blog soon enough, before you know it. Just keep making what you love, and as time pass by, I'm sure there will be many people who will find appreciate everything you do. I'm always supporting you.

@baeshijima -SOPHHHHH YOU SWEET CUTE CINNAMON ROLL WAKATOSHI'S WIFE EYE--- You have NO idea how much i love you,, you're so sweet and I honestly don't know what did i do to deserve you. Srsly you're a blessing to me. Thank you for the sweet daily reminder in my inbox, i love each and every one of them. Keep being so cute and wholesome, love you.

@shinsuque -ANAAAAA Thanks again for the Bakugou's memes! I may not be able to do it before i go on a hiatus though *sobbing* Keep being so awesome! I love seeing all your interactions and you're so amazing i honestly don't know why you followed me----

@semiluvr -LYDIA *SOBBING* THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO THE KITA FAMILY. Even though we've known each other in less than a week, it already felt like I had known you guys for so long like whotttt. Keep being an amazing and sweet person ily muah

@dumbass-lev -MOMMY, MUI, ILY THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO SWEET YOU'RE AMAZING,,, u have no idea how happy (and also flustered) I am when i saw you asking you want to adopt me like,,, whot I've never been asked to be adopted online b4 so you asking that was a big surprise to me and just,,, remember that i love you and you're an amazing mommy. Hope i wasn't too much too handle as your child lol and thank u, for asking to invite me to the server. It has been a real pleasure to me to be there.

@pudding-head-kenma -DANIE!! We haven't talked much and I've only known you for a short time but I really love your detailed analysis. They're amazing and you're amazing. Thank you for being so sweet and cute. Ily.

@/🦋 nonoi -🦋 NONOIIII!!! IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY EMOJI ANON! I love you you're so sweet and bb please please please don't forget me id cry,,,

@astereim -Rein!!! I know we just talked and all but you seem to be a reaally cool and amazing person,, we might not be able to interact much since I need to go prepare things b4 i go on my hiatus though, but just wanna let u know that ily!

@tokoyamis-luv -please don't come for my neck i haven't been active on the server Lol but anyways, zara, you're amazing and your simping for Kurapika is always fun to watxh. Also all the lin manuel edits are *chef's kiss* we may not talk much but i was rlly honoured to be able to interact w you, even a little bit.

@engel-hageshii - YOU, MAAM are a literal angel, and your comments on my fics always managed to make me smile so much. I love you, please never stop being such a sweetheart.

@laylahoran -I've always loved and appreciate every comments you make. I'm v happy I was able to create a content that you can love. You and engel has been some of my firsts followers and I'm really blessed to have you two.

@oyasenpai -Diemmy! You're so sweet and cute and seeing your interaction w my moots (kami) was what made me follow you. Don't let what others said bring you down, okay? Just do what you want because there're always many people supporting you for it.

Special message to the kita family server;

Meanwhile while you guys were talking about me there, I was just innocently scrolling through Tumblr, not knowing what kind of fate I'll be receiving 👁👄👁 No wonder I was sneezing so much 🤧🤧🤧

So, I was just scrolling through the pinned messages and I saw tsu said "mui: can we invite hikari? Everyone here: kakskejdjdjdn" and i was just like,,, ??????? I wasn't expecting u guys to have that kind of reaction i--- yall have no idea how much i was grinning while I scroll through those messages. Thank you so much for inviting and accepting me, it's really fun to be with you guys and your crackhead energy 🥰🥰 Thank you to mui for suggesting you had no idea I was really really happy. 😭 Y'all are so amazing and sweet and cute and beautiful kakjdjdd

To all of my dear friends that I've mentioned above, I LOVE YOU LOTS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO MET YOU GUYS. Quarantine time has been stressful for a lot of people, and Tumblr can sometimes (a lot of times) be kinda whack but I was really happy to met you guys during my time here. Our time together may have been short, but i feel like we've known each other for more than a year, no caps. I love you all very very much. Thank you for talking to me and befriending me. Remember to get enough sleep, drink lots of water, stay safe and healthy, eat enough meals and, take care of yourself. I love you guys.

And lastly, to everyone reading this, whether i know you or not, or interacted with you or not, or follow you or not, or you follow me or not, just REMEMBER that you are worth it and I love you. Keep on being awesome, and always remember to smile, laugh and live. Don't forget to always DRINK LOTS OF WATER, GET ENOUGH SLEEP, and EAT ENOUGH MEALS.

Signing off,

Hikari.

[socialwriter]

Ch.1- Welcome to the Moulin Rouge

Listen alongside: This and this

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Female Reader

1.5 K words

TW: Prostitution, cursing, insinuations of criminal activity

A/n: This is chapter one of my Moulin Rouge series, I hope you enjoy! This is mainly to set up the coming chapters, so it will get better!

Our story begins in Paris, at the turn of the 20th century…

 It's a crisp night, and all the patrons rush into the Moulin Rouge to escape the weather, the anticipation of what the night may hold causing a jump in their step. They would get a show complete with singing, dancing, and the fulfillment of their wildest, lust-filled fantasies. Liquor flows freely from bottle to cup, the intoxication of the guests no doubt a ploy so that all frugality may be forgotten while in the establishment. They were destined to see the performances of many, but it was unspoken common knowledge that they all came for one person. Her…

 As the lights dimmed and latecomers scrambled to their seats, Topper Thorton, the owner and MC of the establishment, made his way onstage. He had built the business from the ground up, a way to provide housing and an income for many girls with no other option, living on the streets. He had begged, borrowed, and stolen, and was willing to do anything to keep the establishment open. It may not seem like it on a surface level, but Topper deeply cared for the girls, and in fact, what he did to keep the business running, he was really doing for them. Without the Moulin Rouge, most of his performers would be left homeless and hungry, a fate that Thorton would not accept, no matter what it cost him. He was hopeful that with the plan he had enacted involving his right-hand woman and best performer, he might save the place from going under. 

 "Hello, chickens!Yes! It's me your own beloved Topper Thornton in the flesh! Welcome...To the Moulin Rouge!" He exclaimed, earning polite applause from the night's audience. 

 "Now, are you ready for our dazzling opening duo… Sarah and Kiara!"

  The curtains were pulled back, revealing the two girls clad in red corsets and black fishnets. Thornton had learned his tricks throughout the years. Put your top performers first to initially  pull the audience in, and leave the best for last so that the audience stays engaged throughout the show. Sarah and Kiara were some of his best, ruthless in their pursuit of position as the best performer of all the girls of the Moulin Rouge. They used all the tricks in the book. Their voices. Their dance moves. Their bodies. Never had they had a dissatisfied customer. They made Topper proud, never doing any wrong. Yet they could never be at the top of the pecking order. That spot was reserved for one person and one person only. 

 The Moulin Rouge was a prime example of the economic divide, with both the rich and the poor flocking there to spend whatever money they could on a fun night. The rich aristocrats with their pristine suits and crisp white shirts sat in booths, sheltered off from who they deemed the lowlife Bohemians. These lowlife Bohemians, while clad in their best attire, looked unkempt compared to the rich. Their pants donned holes and stains, while their jackets frayed at the edges. And as Topper's top priority for his business was money, he made sure that the aristocrats received the best services, copious drinks, and the best seats for entertainment, while the Bohemians were left with the scraps.

 The wealthiest and most pompous of all the aristocrats had to be Rafe Cameron, the Duke of Monroth, sat in the centermost booth. All the performers were instructed to visit him and his posse most often, as he always paid with the biggest bills. Rafe Cameron was to be used as a cash cow, milked for every penny he would give, all in an effort to save the Moulin Rouge. He was, at best, an asshole to those he disliked and at worst..well at worst, he wasn't able to be called a name at all. 

 The two Bohemians that had been a thorn in Thornton's side the entirety of his time at the Moulin Rouge were no doubt John B Routledge and Pope Heyward. The two of them always snuck in, never paying, distracting from the performances, and mooching off the wealthy for free booze. They were bad for business, but like cockroaches, they never could be exterminated, and they now had added a third member to their band of misfits: JJ Maybank.

----

 JJ ventured through the streets of Paris that afternoon, absorbing all the new city's sights. The blond was fresh off a boat from America, and he had moved to France, hoping to share his music with the world. However, his quiet walk around the city was interrupted by the bickering of two men a little ways away. They were loudly arguing and flailing their arms, but the second JJ heard them aggressively singing tunes at each other, his interest was piqued, and he approached the two men. "I'm sorry, but what exactly is going on?"

 The dark-skinned man stood up, placing his hand on JJ's shoulder, much to JJ's surprise. He had just met the men, but he had been told that the people in France were often more affectionate than those in America. "We can't decide what sounds better for our show. I think that the line should go 'the hills are alive, with the sound of clanging.'" The man with his hand on JJ's shoulder explained, to which the brown-haired man stood up, shaking his head.

 "No, it should go 'the hills are alive, with the bells and chimes."

 "See, that just sounds wrong."

 "If I'm wrong, then you're really wrong."

 JJ furrowed his brow, glancing between the two bickering men. He didn't need his musical abilities to tell you that neither option sounded good. "Um, actually, what if you went with 'the hills are alive, with the sound of music'?" He sang out, looking at the two men who both had a look of shock on their faces, mouths slightly ajar.

 "That's...genius!" The brown-haired man exclaimed, looking at his friend, both grinning. "You must work with us on our show, it's going to be the big-ticket item that gets us out of this hell hole. So, what's your name, friend?"

 He hadn't really noticed it before, but it appeared that JJ had stepped into the poorer part of the city, which was presumably where the two men lived. The paint on the walls was chipped and faded and the only bench on the entire street were the two crates that the men were sitting on earlier. It seemed like these two men just wanted to make it big and create a better life for themselves, something JJ had always hoped for. And if he got to share his music with the world while he did it..well he was sold. "JJ. My name's JJ Maybank." He said, shaking the hands of both men.

 The more affectionate man grinned, patting JJ on the back. "Well I'm Pope Heyward, and he's John B. And Mr.Maybank, we may need to use you for more than your musical talents." Pope uttered seriously, looking JJ directly in the eye. "I,um-what?"

 "You see, the Moulin Rouge is the most well known theatre in all of Paris. You get your show in there, and you're guaranteed success." John B explained to the blue eyed boy. "The problem is, our reputation," he gestured to himself and Pope, "precedes us at that place. We need a new face like yours to get our show even considered by the big dogs. We're gonna need you to talk to the it girl of the club. Thornton will do anything she wants, so you convince her, we're in. Can you do that for us JJ?" 

 Both Pope and John B looked at JJ hopefully, and JJ didn't have the heart to tell them no. Despite only knowing them for a short time, JJ had the feeling that he would grow very close to them, forging a bond of brothers. "Okay, I'll do it."

---

 The trio of Bohemians had snuck into the Moulin Rouge after the show had begun, the dark lights making it difficult to see exactly who was sneaking into the building. "All right, one of the middle booths is open." Pope whispered to the other two boys, to which John B excitedly quickened his pace to snag the seats. JJ didn't see the big deal, it was just a set for crying out loud. 

 When the three were situated, John B leaned over to JJ, filling him in on the ways of the Moulin Rouge. "You don't know it, but we just snagged the best seats in the house. This is where all the girls give their attention to, making your 'mission' that much easier." John B clarified, causing JJ to form an 'o' with his mouth. 

 "She'll be on any minute, JJ, get ready," Pope murmured, the energy at the booth going from joking and fun to serious. These boys had a mission, and JJ didn't want to let his new friends down. But nothing could have prepared him for what he was in store for.

 "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you our "Sparkling Diamond" The unique, the indomitable, the one and only! Y/n." 

 The curtain rose, and JJ's mouth instantly went dry when the most beautiful woman he had ever seen walked onstage. Immediately, butterflies erupted in his chest. He realized that this mission of his was going to be much harder than he had initially anticipated. 

 Tags-

@normatural​ @thelonewolfdies​ @bricksatanakinswindow​ @ssjiara​

ppl who expressed interest (I’m only tagging u for this chap dw)- @heliopvth​ @girlsru1eboysdroo1​ @spilledtee​ @obxmxybxnk​ @denimandcurls​ @pogue-writings​ @adoreyoudrews​ @stargazingstarkey​ @queenk00k​ @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar​ @downbytheouterbanks​ @summerintheobx​ @shawnssongs​ @lefthandwritings​

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep24

This is a buildup ep for the finale. looks like furuba’s tradition for awkward buildup eps continues as this ep is clearly divided into two parts: machi & zodiac banquet.

-Killing the Vibe (furuba style):

Usually when writers buildup an emotional moment, they either go with it right away or if it is not its time, they slowly dissolve it or gradually redirect the story somewhere else. But the most important thing is that you hold on to the feeling they worked so hard to build but know that it will be dealt with later. Usually this is done with minor visuals such as quick flashback to the main event & the character taking deep breath ignoring it. But it is acknowledged that now it is not the time. Furuba doesn’t do that. If they build high moment & decide it is not the time to continue with it, they drop it abruptly, using the ending ost as a closing sign....which is odd cuz this is not episodic eps but continuing plot. They did it twice now: (a) tohru’s nightmare ep 19. it was treated as cliffhanger, but the next, we opened with yuki’s narrative where we see tohru normal. I know tohru’s issues will be dealt with later, perhaps season 3. But the nightmare moment was left hanging weirdly!! we never saw tohru deciding not to focus on it or anything! then (b) the kyo/tohru moment on stage & the symbolic tearing image ep23. Big moment which I  know will be focused on later. But it is so freakin odd that we see them so normal in their daily activities..as if nothing happened. Not a slight visual hint that either one is troubled... I praised how in ep, 23, they showed tohru face worrying abt bits & pieces here & there. These visual hints connects the plot.. For a moment I thought Cinderella play is a filler!! but I don’t think so, since 3 major things happened (Tohru’s near confession, machi’s opinion of yuki, arisa’s recorded outburst) two of which dealt with this ep. I know they want the focus to be on yuki, seeing that his plotline is moving smoothly without awkward breaks, but why not smooth out the other’s plotline with minor visuals without the jarring jumps. Ending ost is not automatic shifts in continued plot. Oh well, it is a minor thing I felt, no big deal.

-Machi pov is here!:

I never expected to see machi today! nice surprise! So machi is not only lonely, she lives alone! that’s odd & tragic! how can a junior high school student live alone? since when was she living alone? & her mom calling to check on her or insult her or scold her! I never wanted a phone call to end this fast. Machi’s monologue was amazingly done. Rather than describing her feelings to us or stating what we are already seeing, the words came cold.. automatic.. slow.. without much emotions. Exactly imitating how machi feels abt herself. DULL. She never thought abt things such as fave color or fave place. never thought abt anything that requires personality or preferences. The imagery they used while she was walking in the street is epic! It explained her mentality! honestly even if she said nothing around that time while she was walking, the image would’ve done enough! Machi was able to see the change in yuki cuz she was able to sense that yuki too was dull/boring or felt he felt so. Now he laughs, jokes, interacts, & joins outside school activities. Negating the dull persona. Now, it is only her. machi questions if she can do the same but her question comes out loaded with her negativity. Instead of can I do the same? it is “ why Am i here? Her bad habits are pulling her back & resisting the change.

- Since they’re deciding to embark into the romantic aspect of mach/yuki & to further add contrast to his interaction with tohru, machi is shown so struck by yuki’s presence, she falls. Typical romantic moment that I appreciate for machi who thinks she isn’t typical girl. but dull girl. Yuki finding the leaf & being happy that she treasures it adds to his self-esteem as it tells him that he is worthy to be treasured. I love machi’s indecisive responses! It gives her personality! as she is reluctant between denying or telling the truth. She was never in such situation, so she doesn’t know what to do!! blushing red like her leaf, machi didn’t only go with friends, she also learned her fave color! yuki, developing the future boyfriend detective sense like kyo, guessed it that machi likes red. You remember things abt ppl you find interesting! Machi felt that perhaps to yuki she is not dull, but interesting enough to want to learn things abt her!

-Tohru is a grown woman!!!

trust me to take 5sec interaction that involves my girl & write a deep analytic paragraph! Call it building sandcastles out of nothing but I don’t care! XD. tohru deserves some spotlight! I’m a bit disappointed that the scene is shown form a far to include yuki & shiggure..(WHY???. They can have their moment later! let my girl have a screenshot for a change!!) & the art quality is the lowest in the ep, lol & but whatever~~~ let’s focus on the positive side! my tohru bought sth for herself!! tohru who spent her hard earned money on buying candy ingredients for the filthy rich sohma’s instead of paying her tuition fees?!! tohru who wore a worn out swimsuit for school & didn’t see the value in buying new one ?! tohru whose school bag have seen better days as hiro said?!! tohru bough herself a scarf with pompom!!& she’s PROUD!! & she goes & shows kyo!!!! cuz she loves him & cuz in SE01 he was mad she doesn't buy herself stuff & cuz she knows he’ll be proud of her & cuz she want show off her cuteness & get his attention & cuz she wanna tease him!! Did you see my girl deliberately hit him with the pompom??? my girl is feisty!! She teases!! Tohru has this feisty, forward personality that she hides but peeks in certain instances!! Like when she teased kyo that he’s still scared of the stain on the wall..like when she calls him cute later this ep!! I’m so happy for every tiny teeny moment of tohru where she is herself & not the worrying mom or friend, when she is focused abt what she shows & what she wants & right now she wants kyo to notice her! GIRL HE ALREADY DOES! you are killing him already tohru..he’d be dead by now if he wasn’t a cat with 9 souls! XD.

-Yuki is leaving Akito’s side:

coming to the big moment in this ep. Akito is loosing yuki. Not only yuki decided by himself to attend the banquet that he avoided last year, he also talked to akito & forgave him for everything before. Yuki is letting go of the past. Forgiveness is a cure ppl! it’s the hardest achieved cure. it cuts the ties to negativity & free the person from the painful feelings. Akito knows she’ll be loosing a zodiac member soon! she reacts the same way she did with hatori! violently resisting change, violently making a statement that I’m the ruler of you. However, unlike when it was hatori, no one came to her. Kureno stopped her. but the rest went to yuki, to the rebel, to the one who caused her pain & rage. Akito is not only loosing yuki...she is slowly loosing all of them.

- Yuki continues the next step in his growth & frees hatori from his sins. By allowing himself to accept that he is not a helpless victim, yuki was able to see the others plain as well. Before, in his mind, he was the only one suffering, others are cruel, but now, he sees the criminal who erased his friends memories was also suffering all along. Perhaps yuki thinks that akito is suffering too? That’s why chose to forgive her & tell her that I don’t hate you anymore or hold grudge.

Side Notes:

I’m so glad kakeru had so little to do with machi & yuki interaction here. He is a character that demands spotlight & if his role was bigger, machi would disappear, it will be another yuki/kakeru moment. Also, since machi/kakeru parallel aya/yuki, you bet kakeru will be more involved between them in order to get closer to his sister & fix the gap like aya did, so I appreciate the moment of only yuki/machi now as it is unique moment without any parallels involved.

After learning of Shigure’s correct line, I can now see how things would’ve been better for akito, if she learned from yuki’s rebellion. loosing one is less painful than loosing them all, which she will. Shigure was eager for her to be spared the pain. or he might be eager for sth else entirely! but he wants this to end.

Shigure sure wasn’t himself this ep! he was restless & his jokes were all over the place, he nearly caused a misunderstanding between hatori & Mayko. I think shigure is hearing the curse breaking!!!!!

Rin & kyo!!!! I never knew I needed this!!! like last ep, I was celebrating hana & kyo, & the return of kyo & haru!! but rin & kyo is unique duo since it is not a teasing dynamics! it is a we-are-too-similar dynamics! XD

Kazuma is luv!! ugh!! my heart! what a man!! so caring & kind & ever so gentle! look at him going to rin to invite her! no kid should be alone in new years! look at him teasing his son!! look at him out polite tohru! just look at him!!!

I appreciate that the boys (kyo,yuki.haru,momiji) have different body types from each other. however, since kyo’s body changing is mentioned in the story many times, they focused on showing him growing since the 2nd ep of season 2 & more so in the beach arc & they steadily continued ever since!!! this ep, even with the low quality they showed his Adam’s apple & he is taller next to shishio. Also his baggy clothes help defy the lanky art style. With yuki, since his beauty is mentioned in the story, they’ve been focused on his face, giving him HD quality beauty all the time, but not much when it comes to his body. but today, he looked a lil bit older in machi’s scene? I duno if it is the new clothes or they’re finally allowing his body to grow?! I hope so. They are still making him so lanky as his legs were only a bit meatier than machi’s in the fight scene, but hey lankiness is the show’s art style, just look at hatori </3. They focused on making Momiji baby as it is mentioned in the story that he doesn’t look like a highschooler at all, but I swear he looks a bit older this ep!! right???

Speaking of hatori, hello there~ doc~ I never knew I needed hatori in Japanese clothes this much! It hid the lankiness & gave him the adult manly look he deserves!! so hot!!! I heard his grunt in my heart as he took his clothes off! XD. Soyou’re attached to the school sensie now~~ a lit bit worried your filthy buddy is putting hands on her..huh? oh!, if only you knew that your goofy pal is the master mind behind your new love story! I think he knows tho~

I never expected machi to be that cute!!! machi/yuki is so cute!

Rin sleeps sitting...like a horse? rin didn’t feel haru? i thought horses are as jumpy as cats! lol

Tohru & kyo are having quality flirting time with no interference from either shigure or yuki. lol.. shishio is amazing! XD

Kureno has the DVD now..let the war begins!!!

[usertoxicyaoi]

I can however argue that 2gether would not have been successful if it wasn't for the fact that Bright and Win are gorgeous + the other side actors are very invested and active. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the show and very excited to get some more content for it. Though, the production was sloppy and the show had its flaws, it felt rushed and unfinished but it pulled through thanks to the characters and the fact that they managed to get some dynamic and pretty faces.

hiii anon!!! mmmmm yes. i mean, yes brightwin are v good looking, but also lets not forget here how win was practically forced to lose 10kg in 2 months to fit tine's character description. so yes, looks did play a part. but in terms of this toxic ""aestheticism"" culture we have (for the lack of a better word), in all shows now, looks of characters Do play a part in the whole appeal and selling of a show and a character, whether we like to admit it or not. bc we associate looks of characters very heavily with the character themselves. whether thats their hair colour, tattoo use, outfits, accessories and jewelry, makeup and styling, facial hair, weight and height etc, amongst so many other things.

but i think the timing of 2gether coming out was its biggest bonus/asset, along with how it skyrocketed on social media, again, bc of the time it got released, which meant international access to it was made v v v open and easy and simple. it could be marketed v v v easily to a global audience by social media bc there was no other way to market the show humanly due to lockdown. so it gained attraction at a much larger scale. thats ultimately why 2gether got popular on a global scale, if you're talking about solely viewership, international outreach and numbers.

talking about it from a storyline pov, as a drama, the story was just ... refreshing, in that, yeah, it was nothing new. it was simple. and it was light hearted and fun and a proper rom com. i think for me personally, it also just really neatly dispelled many toxic lgbt+ tropes too. it showed lgbt+ love in a completely normal, chilled out way, just how rom coms do. and the characters have their individualistic appeal to them. other things helped, like the music and the cinematography and the colours too - it was a warm colour palette show. it didnt take itself too seriously but still managed to show depth. yeah, every show has a couple of bad episodes, which show doesn't? but pining the whole show down on to just those 2 episodes and a goddamn cursed high-5 alone, and overlooking the rest of the entire show seems unjust tbh. like i keep saying, when the show was airing live, nobody was complaining then!

so yeah, whilst the success does partially lie with having a good looking, social media active cast, you sorta have to see why social media played such a HUGE role in 2gether's success, especially in the circumstances and time period that the show was airing. its the backbone of it. but i wouldnt say having a good looking cast = instantly successful show. the show had appeal to the masses bc of the things the show had in it, which weren't perfect 100% of the time, but being critical means looking at both the good and the bad, not just the bad only, before making a judgement on something. and most people i know take 2gether's bad with the good, and say they enjoyed the show! so its no surprise that still2gether is monopolising on the back of 2gether's success. people want more of these characters bc they love them and their storylines, the actors who play them show sincerity, love and respect to their characters and (lgbt+) audiences, p'aof as an lgbt+ writer, director and producer can authentically write stories for lgbt+ characters and audiences, and so ... why would an entertainment/production company not use that to their monetary advantage as well?

bc now, gmmtv's budget has skyrocketed, they'll invest even more money into still2gether, which is why people are saying that still2gether's budget has increased bc just by the trailer alone, ppl could immediately tell there's been a budget raise. so ya know, who knows, still2gether's (production) quality could be much much better and less sloppy than 2gether's was (which imho, wasnt even that bad tbh, aside from certain plot points during ep 12 and 13). so then, i wouldnt be surprised how much more still2gether will appeal to the audience, not just bc of the good looking actors, but bc of the whole show itself increasing in quality. and so of course countries like japan and taiwan and the philippines, and broadcasters like netflix, wetv etc have signed deals with gmmtv to broadcast 2gether as well as other gmmtv shows, i'm sure in the future too, in their countries/platforms, and big magazines like vogue and gq as well as domestic thai brands are jumping on brightwin's current success.

bc i can hand on heart say, that nobody, and i mean nobody, expected 2gether to ... well, reach the popularity it has. win was practically nobody before this. bright was literally on scraps getting side role after side role. i'd say apart from like frank, drake, gunsmile, guy, toptap and gun, maybe even mike too, the rest of the cast had unseasoned/not that well known actors (inc. khaotung, jj and pluem). and then, 2gether happened. so. yeah. a lot of factors come into play.

[chatchalita]

I feels like writing something, since I rarely write things these days and I feels like my English will go down the drain soon, if I’m not writing.

Since I impulsively bought a plane ticket again, it’s time for me to summarize my other two trips I had this year as like a build-up for my upcoming new adventure the Taiwan trip in November. 

This first post is about my side trip from business trip...I guess

I don’t know how I usually start my traveling post, I guess I start with a disclaimer that this post is not informative at all, just me writing about my trip for future me to reminisce about it.

It has been 2 years since I last visit Mikawa Anjo, the last time was for internship purpose, (which I happened to not write about the experience :/)  I was greeted by the familiar feelings, I missed this place.  I finally semi-ly made it back.  I worked hard in this company for the past 1 year and I feels like it paid off a little.

This trip was my 6th time in Japan and took 14 days (Aug, 18th- Sep, 1st).  Since this is a business trip, I’m able to ride Thai Airways, finally something that not low-cost and I’m able to load my luggage lol. The flight is TG644, I arrived at Japan around 8am, I decided to stop by my hotel for luggage storage, then go on an adventure to Okazaki Castle.  

Before Okazaki Castle, I visited about 6 Japanese castles, so I know what I should expected from the castle.  And spoiler alert, it was disappointing for me, I don’t know why, maybe because I’m burned out from visiting castle, or maybe because I saw a greater castle?  Or maybe because I expected something from the castle that said to be the birthplace of Tokugawa Ieyasu? The Evangelion exhibition saved this castle from a total disappointment, at least there are something interesting.  

After the castle I went back to my hotel and then meet up with my boss and some Japanese co-workers for a little nomikai.  Alcohol intake, not that much.

The second day, which is Monday, it’s the old atmosphere everybody was as welcoming as ever.  I only spent half day there because I had to visit other supplier factory in Gifu, I’m still cursing myself for not taken any photos in my phone (for the location purpose), then that night another nomikai, and this time I drunk so much sake that actually made me drunk and made me worry for tomorrow.  I’m not the kind of person to have hangover, so I didn’t worried about that, I was more worry about  how much alcohol I will have left in my blood, since Tuesday, I will have to attend welcome party.

Tuesday, another nomikai, thank god my body can handle another round.  That day, I was not drunk whatsoever, but I did drink Calpis sawla for at least 5 glasses, and other other things...overall probaby 15-20 glasses of alcohol.  Those are nothing to sake I previously drunk on Monday though.

Wednesday, nothing worth mentioning ohh except I walked 2 km for Matsumoto Kiyoshi to get the stuffs ppl asked me to buy for them.

Thursday, yakiniku with my co-workers.

Friday, actually nothing?

So one week has passed, most the weekdays activity either hung out” with my co-workers or went to grocery shopping, my co-workers (in Thailand) asked me to buy kimono for them, and they keep called it yukata.  It was a short kimono that you wear with hakama, these people want to wear them as “fashion”, these really culture appropriation *sigh*

Saturday, Saturday, where did I go on Saturday...oh Meiji Mura...again.  I actually went there two years ago to dress in Hakama while this year is to see very small fireworks with actual same age people.  Because I already went there once, not many pictures were taken 

Sunday, the manager in charge of me took me to Iga, MIe to see some ninja.  Iga Ueno castle is actually in the list of castle I want to visit.  If you talking about Iga ninja, Hattori Hanzo, probably the famous ninja from that “school”?

The ninja demonstration was interesting, idk what I expected, I guess I did low-key expected movie stunts ninjutsu, but it turned out to be just ninja technique.

I do loves Iga Ueno Castle since I could see both the life of ninja and samurai in one place.  The ninja village is really fun place and touristy.

So far the day went very well and pretty much free since the manager paid for everything, but my dumbass has to be extra and went to Nishio to see lantern festival (alone).  And you know what, the taxi cost 6000 yen round-trip just for the station to the festival ground.  And this is what 6000 yen gave me...

It only 8pm and the festival already over.  I learned something new every time I went to Japan.  Apparently, 8pm is late for the festival.  I live in the city, 8pm is still early for me.  

Monday, kaiten sushi with the same age people

Tuesday, in the afternoon I went to Toyohashi to see printing factory and the person asked me what is the food that I want to eat but have not eaten yet, and I replied “unagi”, which is something very expensive.  

I think this was about 5000 yen for a set.  In the evening, he treated me tempura like in actually tempura shop, where the chef actually fried tempura in front of us.

As a nekojita, I was suffering but it was so delicious.

Wednesday, I got stood up by the manager that took care of me 2 years ago.  No biggie.

Thursday & Friday, spent my last day in Anjo as lonely as ever.  (and spent 2 hours try to figure how to pack everything in my suitcase because of what people asked me to buy)

Saturday, I bought a day tour from Klook to Takayama and Shirakawago, the thing about tour is it convenience and probably cheaper than finding the transportation myself, but the downfall always, the time.  There are not enough time!!  I guess that is something I have to accept when it a day trip.  In the bus, I was the only non-Chinese speaking person there.

Takayama...I was eating, so I didn’t had much time to explore, but you know what I feels like if you went to Kyoto, you don’t need to go to Takayama.  It has it own charmed, I just didn’t had enough time to enjoy its charm.

The raw beef is the best out of the 3, this Hida beef made visiting Takayama worth it.

Next stop, Shirakawago, the highlight of the trip.  The sunlight and everything made the pictures look colorful and amazing.  The photos taken there was one of my favorite set of photos of all my trips. 

Shirakawago, a place I would loved to visit again during winter and spent more time there.  Due to the lack of time, I can only take pictures of here and there instead of absorb myself.  I wanted to visit more museum, more historical stuff, but the time is limited :/

After the day tour, I went to Hikone and stay at the hotel there.

Sunday, the last day let’s make it count.  I first planned to go see Tonbokiri in western shiga (which I forgot the name of the place), but because it was so far away and I don’t want to wake up early and my main goal was HIkone castle.  I ended up with visited Nagahama Castle in the morning.  That Sunday probably the day I cursed google map the most because the train schedule in there just not right!  I didn’t missed the train, but like the map told me it departs at 9, I arrived at 8:50, the trained in the google map is the train that not stop in this station like what’s going on.  And that happened a lot that day, I probably spent like almost 2 hour in (different) train station because the time in google map was earlier than the actual train. 

Anyway, back to Nagahama castle, a castle built by Totoyomi Hideyoshi

In my opinion, definitely better than Okazaki, the overall atmosphere made it “feels” more significant than Okazaki castle.  The view from the tenshuu is very pretty, in which you can actually see Biwa lake.

I just loves this kind of scenery.

After Nagahama, I went to Omi-Hachiman for some unknown reason.  I’m like that awkward person that wouldn’t push the stop button because nobody seem to get off at this stop, and just kept riding the bus until many ppl get off.  I mean they are Japanese people, they know what’s good right?  Turned out, the popular spot Japanese people are going is like a “dessert park” called La Collina, I called it dessert park because they mainly sell dessert there, and “park” because they have large greenery area.

Their most famous dessert is Baumkuchen, I personally not that big fan of it, so I bought the small size along with macaron.

Then, I followed google map to Omihachiman canal area to find the bus to get back to the station.

The canal area is what I intended to go.

I’m glad I was awkward and decided to follow Japanese people because I got have variety of scenic photos.

Next stop, the highlight of this trip Hikone Castle, 1 of the 12 original castles yayyy.

I love Japanese garden, so first visited the garden in the castle area and just like other garden I visited (except Kokura Castle garden), i was not disappointed.

The Hikone Castle, I loved the castle that I have to work my way to see the tenshu.  I love climbing, just to see castle.

The view from the tenshu also amazing.

After HIkone, I went back to Nagoya to see my same age co-workers? friends? comrades? again for the last time, and we ate “Taiwanese Ramen” which just spicy ramen

And then I got back at the airport, which seem very empty at night.

Good bye, Aichi.  I hope they will send me there for business trip again next year.  

If you read this far, stay tuned for another Japan trip, which is like 2 weeks later from this Japan trip.

[cheshiresense]

Hello! I adore all your works and devour them whenever I see something new. I totally binged on your dreamwidth stuff yesterday and I read that Lin Chen/Changsu snippet you posted and my feelz are just all over the place. So I was wondering if you had anything else on these two? Streams of consciousness or headcanons or anything? There's not enough fics for them and I'd love anything you came up with. Thank you!

I’m glad you liked it! I can’t say I have anything really concrete written down, I love NiF but I’m not actively writing much for it atm. I have the rambling beginnings of a fic with these two if you want that? It’s not much but I started this a while ago so you can tell me if I should quit while I’m ahead lol~

Pinglist: @yoshifics @bewarethemandragora @runeofluna @selenedreamwalker @hypnos28 @verticallychallengedintrovert @fandommaniac2401 @lovingempress @cynthia-of-the-wallflowers @shadowsofmoonracer @pairp @warriorofbooks @charlottedabookworm @lyra689 @sheyrenawyrsabane @sora-the-empress @xadriannax @yumeniai @arrysa @lirial89-fanfiction @skysong246 @caiahat @grimreaper19 @arosethornbyanyothername @mtkiseki @kaminoko-x @nesskyru @tatarako @parklena42 @zibeth-a @aerdnanocte @timegrenades @healingmichiko

(I’m not sure if I should ping ppl for this, how many of you even read NiF fanfic, but whatever, just ignore if you’re not in this fandom.)

Summary: After he finds justice for his family and Prince Qi and the Chiyan Army, after fighting off Da Yu for Jingyan, Lin Shu finds something else to live for. Lin Chen’s waited fourteen years. And Nihuang’s kept faith for just as long. The least Lin Shu can do is try, for them.

A/N: My plan for this fic - if I ever actually get around to writing it - is endgame Lin Chen/Lin Shu/Nihuang. I thought it could be an interesting dynamic to explore, and not one I’ve seen before.

Lin Chen has always had the uncanny ability to see rightthrough him, but Lin Shu is willing to bet he doesn’t know one thing - Lin Shuhas never once been able to look at Lin Chen without wondering why he choosesto stay.  One, two, twelve years and he never once strayed, never stoppedtaking care of him, never washed his hands of him even though Lin Shu knowsfull well he’s probably the worst and most difficult patient in existence, andthat fact has very little to do with his illness and everything to do with histemperament.  But Lin Chen stayed through every animal noise and wretchedscream in the early days, and every stumble and fever and frustrated curse ashe learned to eat and stand and walk again. He stayed through Lin Shu’s transformation into Mei Changsu, through hisrise as the Lord of the Jiang Zuo Alliance, and at the end of it all, he waseven here to witness the culmination of Lin Shu’s vengeance.

And now here they are, fourteen years after they first metin the aftermath of the massacre at Meiling, and the Master of Langya Hall -distantly omniscient, removed from world politics, peaceful, neutral -is still here and about to follow him into a war.

Lin Shu can understand Fei Liu’s loyalty, he can understandLi Gang’s and Zhen Ping’s and Gong Yu’s, even Meng Zhi’s and all the people whofeel indebted to him for one reason or another, but Lin Chen owes him nothing -if anything, it’s definitely the other way around - and Lin Shu has no ideawhat he did to deserve any of his devotion.  So it chafes at something inhim, something like guilt and horror and old family honour, something that scoldshim in his mother’s voice - how could you, Xiao Shu - because they bothknow Lin Shu isn’t planning on coming back from this, that this is as much asuicide as a blade to his own stomach would be, and Lin Chen is the one who isgoing to have to shoulder that weight too, who is already shoulderingit.

He glances at Lin Chen again now, sidelong and discreet, andnot for the first time.  The man is dressed in imperial armour and has hisback turned to Lin Shu, occupied with adjusting the straps of his horse’sstirrups.  He looks strange.  Wrong. No matter how good a fighter he is, and Lin Shu knows he’s excellent,Lin Chen should not be here.  He belongs in sweeping white sleeves andplum blossoms and treetops, in white doves and rice wine and laughter, and allthe freedom the world can give him.  He has his own responsibilities ofcourse, his own work, his own duties, but this certainly shouldn’t be one ofthem.  Lin Shu shouldn’t be one ofthem.

He knows he’s a selfish man.  He does what he wants,and he gets what he wants (most of the time).  He’s lied and brokenmore promises than he cares to count (he counts every last one of them)because he can’t bear to deal with the grief that would come from facing thetruth (sometimes it feels like he’s never stopped grieving).  Sohe’ll do this too, go to war at the northern border once again, and part ofthat is for Jingyan, as everything always has been, but he can dress it up allhe wants and it still won’t change the fact that this too is for himself.

Dying on the battlefield where his father and fellowsoldiers died, where he should’ve died all those years ago, is farbetter than wasting away in bed for what little time he still has left. He was almost relieved when Da Yu attacked as he predicted they would.

And yet…

He didn’t expect Lin Chen to insist on coming with him, eventhough he probably should have.  The Young Master of Langya Hall shouldn’teven leave Langya Mountain, or at the very least the jianghu, but he came toJinling anyway, didn’t he?  For Lin Shu, again.

“Shu-ge.”

He glances to the side as Nihuang rides up beside him,straight-backed and tall on her horse as always.  She still looks a littlepale, a little tired, and more than a little unhappy, but her eyes are dry, andthe stubborn ferocity that he’s always admired in her is back in thedeceptively delicate lines of her face.

“Nihuang,” He says, and even tries to smile.  Itdoesn’t quite work, if the quelling, unimpressed look Nihuang directs at him isanything to go by.  He sighs and doesn’t try again.

For a while, they both remain silent, watching theirsoldiers begin riding out instead.  Some of them won’t come back.  That’s a fact of war but, well, Lin Shu willtry.  He catches sight of Yujin andJingrui, and he knows that for those two at least he’ll do everything in hispower to return them home alive.  Uncle Yan didn’t say anything eventhough he did randomly come by the Su Residence and sit down for tea one lasttime a few days ago about two hours after Meng passed along the news that Yujinhad signed up for the army, and Lin Shu hasn’t even seen Aunt Liyang since theevening of the Emperor’s birthday, but he knows what they both would want toask of him.  He’s not actually sure if they know the truth by now, if theyknow who he is (was, will never really be again, not entirely), but LinShu or Changsu, they would still want to ask.

They don’t have to though.  It’s the least Lin Shu cando for them.  All of them.

His gaze slides, unbidden, back to Lin Chen, who’s swunghimself up onto his horse by now and is leaning over to say something to FeiLiu.  Fei Liu doesn’t smile but Lin Chen doesn’t either so Lin Shu doubtsthere’s any teasing going on.  It’ssomething he misses already.

[ultralaser]

i'm just gonna go ahead and spoil the fuck out of hellboy 2019 bc it's awful and i can't think of a good reason not to

thomas haden church shows up as lobster johnson! but he looks ridiculous, like, a cheap halloween costume version compared to, say, the period costumes in captain america or wonder woman. and he has NO SET UP so he just comes off like a joke, it's not, oh this is a wierd noir pulp hero in **gotham city**, it's, lobster johnson, nazi hunter. is hellboy a world with cool superheroes, and if so, why isn't hellboy one of them? is he an x men now? idk it doesnt work tho

baba yaga shows up! she has a house on chicken legs that's rendered beautifully, but then she has one of the worst face prosthetics i've ever seen, it literally looks like a cheap monster mask from party city. so much for the grace and elegant spookiness of a doug jones suit, this baba yaga mask can't even lip sync well

guy davis kaiju demons show up! but they aren't, cool, they're just, they have as much screen time as the ogdru jahad in hellboy 04, but they show up and start just gruesomly killing ppl, like same with thr giants fight earlier on, the movie uses the r rating to push a lot of just dismemberment, disembowelment, graphic bodily harm, it's gross and mean and dumb and out of character for the comics. therr's the helicopter shot of the tall man walking through the tower bridge, then two bat demons fky up in front of him and tear someone in half and all their guts fall out. what? why

king arthur and merlin show up! merlin is, christian for some reason? and king arthur is boring. this sequence is nearly saved by ian mcshane's narratiom, but not really. witches bad, she created a plague but not, the plague? england is the most important place in history, blah blah, no. king arthur legend of the sword does more with excalibur as a magic artifact, and drunk merlin from transformers the last knight is way more compelling than Christian Merlin, warrior for god

they do the quick ww2 origin flashback, ala thomas and martha wayne, joe chill, pearls. kroenen is there and looks bad, ilsa looks fine, rasputin, tbh feels like they got the same actor who did a poor job in 04, he's generic in a boring way, the whole scene is unnecessary

okay, so, then halfway! through, after hellboy has been sent to england to help the rebel general from rogue one, and they name their perennial giant hunt 'the wild hunt', and they all betray hellboy and stab him with a bunch of spears, and are killed brutally by giants, and then hellboy brutally kills the giants, and is rescued by new girl, who talks to ghosts and was rescued by hellboy from being replaced by a fairy changeling (who is back, running around putting milla back together after king arthur dismembered her and locked her still-living pieces in boxes around england?), and hellboy both knows her from all along but also hasnt been back since, and knows shes a psychic but also hasnt seen her since she was a baby, depending on the scene?

THEN finally daniel dae kim's ben daimio shows up, and he's NOT EVEN IN THE BPRD, he's with british intelligence, and he takes hank's anti-mutation polyjuice serum from days of future past to repress his were-jaguar form, and he has a special gun designed to KILL HELLBOY because he doesnt trust him not to be the actual devil, despite, HIMSELF, being cursed with a monstrous destiny

the scene in the trailer with hellboy, new girl, and daimio on a bprd mission, with hellboy punching daimio to activate his hulking out? THAT'S IN THE **SIX MONTHS LATER** EPILOGUE. the movie ENDS with the three of them finding abe sapien

so this whole thing? is a fucking ORIGIN STORY. it is EVERY SUPERHERO MOVIE FROM 78 TO IRON MAN TWO, it is ONE HERO, ALONE, IN A WORLD WITH NO OTHER HEROES. it's not even the x-men because they're not recruiting hellboy to join their team, it's like if the x-men were just xavier and logan and a nunch of fbi guys.

meanwhile, ddk and new girl are both americans doing british accents, david harbour is still playing hellboy as a 75 year old teenager, and ian mcshane, bless him, is just playing ian mcshane

also, just, i think the intent was for harbour to play it as the stone right hand is just really heavy? but it ends up looking like a cosplayer who misjudged the weight of his prop hand an hour into the con. i want to say del toro did a better job of making it look like, this is actually hellboy's hand, and not, this is ron perlman wearing a wierd prosthetic.

and also, amazing advances in prosthetic technology aside, why didnt they just get dave bautista, if they wanted surly hellboy, or dwayne johnson, if they wanted comic accurate charming hellboy, because neither of those dudes would have needed a muscle suit. hellboy ends up (AGAIN) looking like one of the fucking dwarves in the hobbit, who wore fat suits to look like they were built like john rhys davies, but if they turn their head wrong you can see their prosthetics floating like trump's wig

have the balls to give him his wierd jawline from the comic, or don't fucking bother

okay, okay. OKAY. so, you guys remember the BLOOD TORNADO from blade one, the 'original ending' on the dvd where frost turns into a whirling vortex of blood, and they superimpose the dorff's torso just kind of leaning out of it? and it looked awful both because it's super fake anyways but also unfinished? so, there is an EXTENDED scene where professor mcshane comes back as a ghost, and it's ian mcshane's head pasted onto a super fake ectoplasm tail coming out of new girl's mouth (which also, gross), and they forgot to give him a neck, and he's naked? and it's awful and only not laughable bc, frankly, ian mcshane is a treasure and spends the whole moving swearing a lot

and honestly, the most annoying part is that hellboy 19 cribs the ending from hellboy 04 where hellboy is about to give in to his cursed destiny and join team evil, until some white dude says 'no, stop, you have a choice thanks to your father'

hellboy popped into our plane in 1944 and it is 2019, dude is SEVENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. he is smarter than this shit, or at least, old enough to know better. i'm half his age and i can tell when someone is not negotiating in good faith.

and at least in 04 he was doing it to save liz, in the new movie witch milla ALREADY KILLED IAN MCSHANE and it still takes ghost mcshane to cuss hellboy out back to team good, talking him into using EXCALIBUR to rekill her instead of, destroying the world

and do they reconcile that EXCALIBUR was the key to the hellmouth, that hellboy pulling the sword from the stone started the biblical apocalypse? that england is the villain here? no, they joke that now hellboy is king.

OMG and i forgot merlin shows up again to tell hellboy HE IS LITERALLY DESCENDED FROM KING ARTHUR. his human witch mother fucked satan in the 1600s and gave birth to hellboy in hell, and then four hundred years later rasputin and the nazis summon him to earth as he's still a baby. does this make sense? no. is it comics canon. idk, who cares, it's BAD.

this movie is B A D in almost every way, it is amazing how bad it is. it is clearly a 'gritty' remake of the 2004 film, not in any way a new take on the comics. there are FIFTEEN YEARS of new bprd comics put out since that film for these guys to riff on, and they are still fundamentally misrepresenting beloved characters while also just, making up new bullshit.

but when del toro did that, it was del toro's cool bullshit. this is hellboy from the guys who said 'lets have jaime rape cersei on joffrey's tomb'

[gallivantingheart]

Lyrical Hearts (Part 9)

Synopsis: Post-What Can I Do/I Loved You/When You Love Someone Saga. Young K - Brian - Younghyun - whatever you wanted to call him - was known for being unknown. At least until you caught him and his band practicing late one afternoon. This is the narrative of your soft, tentative beginnings with the gruff bassist.

Pairing: Young K/Brian/Younghyun x fem!Reader

Genre: Romance. General? Acquaintance-to Friends-to Lovers?

Word Count: 2331

Listening Recommendations: Bolbbalgan4 - Some & ViVi -  Everyday I Love You (Feat. HaSeul) &  Hyunjin -  다녀가요 (Around You)

A/N: I’M BAAACK!!!! I went through a bit of a writer’s block-cross-plot muddle-up, but whatever. Thank you for being patient and I hope it’s good (??)

The Beginning || Part 8

It’s been a little under a week since your altercation with Haebin and so far, no repercussions. Maybe between your ferocity, Younghyun’s hand taking up permanent residence on your shoulder or Dowoon’s sudden close proximity to you, they’ve gotten the hint. So, honestly, you’d hoped that it would all blow over, everyone’s attention on the next episode of high school drama.

It’s Saturday and you’ve herded your history project partners, Sungjin and Wonpil, down to the library for some blissful quiet to work in. Contrary to popular belief, you’re one of the few people in the world who actually like group projects. You like sharing the load and bouncing ideas off one another. Maybe it’s only because you’ve had a good track record with your groups.

The three of you work fairly seamlessly, murmuring something here and there about Joseon architecture. You’re admiring Wonpil’s handwriting, fine and delicate the way he is, along with the swift, sentimental speed at which he thinks. The someone speaks, casting your name out in a whisper.

“You sure cut down Haebin, huh? Haven’t heard a peep out of her all week - Dowoon’s living the dream.”

You blink, following the source of the sound up to Wonpil’s kind face. “Uh, yeah. People are still giving me funny looks for it. So what, I raised my voice and got a bit angry.”

Sungjin surfaces and nods, humming in agreement. The days that followed entailed curious looks and awe-filled questions. You must have sounded like a broken record by the end of the week - you certainly felt like one. You scribble a writing idea down in your margin for later - mermaids are still cool, right?

“Why did you get so tense about it, anyway? A shut up would have done the trick.” Wonpil adds, fluffing at his fringe.

Your mind is quiet. He’s right.

You stop twirling your pen on the pages of your notebook. “I...I don’t know.”

Really, you don’t. As much as your works with Young K were true, the passion that fuelled it didn’t completely stem from the injustice you heard - you have never been that possessive and righteous. It wasn’t that serious.

On the way home, the sun just kissing the horizon, Wonpil takes a detour for his sister - her birthday is coming up. So Sungjin and yourself are the only ones at the bus stop. You’re still thinking, anything and everything irking you. Sungjin had a chuckle at your vague, but creased expression.

You look at him ever so slowly, straightening out your willowy pastel top. “Yeah? Did I miss something?”

“No, not at all. You just look like something is on your mind.”

Sure is. Your mind has since drifted from Haebin to Younghyun though. The various expressions that flit across his face in a day, each one just as interesting. An easy laugh that you’re happy you get to hear. The moments when you walk home that his fingertips brush yours. It hits you soft and hard, like a breeze tickling your cheeks and a punch to the stomach all at the same time. You curse, dark and loud.

“I think I might have a crush on your bassist, Sungjin-ah.” You mumble grudgingly.

Sungjin laughs, low and warm, puffing out your name on a disbelieving breath. “A crush, huh?”

You stamp your feet on the cracked pavement, kicking out at his shin. He curls forward and groans on impact. The sun turns his hair a kind red-brown, ruffled from the spring breeze.

“Don’t make fun of me!” You whine.

“Sorry. But I could already tell how you felt about him. You can’t hide your emotions very well.” He says, shrugging.

You lean against the side of the bus shelter, shock securing that blank look on your face again. You have been hiding them? This feels like a fairly recent development. A dramatic revelation. Sungjin is talking about this as if it’s been like that since the beginning. A gust of wind whistle through the shelter and between you but you don’t jump at it like before. The husky singer grins proudly at all of this.

“And what - what makes you think you know me?” You say thin, but lightly mocking.

“Didn’t you say it yourself? You’re an open book.”

That shuts you up again.

Oh, now comes the panic. When you get in, you fling yourself on your bed, denim skirt riding up horribly as you stare blankly at the ceiling. Truly, you are in some high school themed drama. How long have you liked him? Does he know? Is your new friendship the price you’re willing to pay for this?

[You] @stoneface-dan @somimimimi so, I like Younghyun?

[Stoneface Dan] And?

[You] so this really isn’t a new thing.

[You] HOW LONG?

[Somimimimi] a little while

[You] HOW COULD I NOT HAVE KNOWN?!?!?!

[You] HEY!!!

[Stoneface Dan] 😒 Shush. It’s easy to mistake fondness and affection as friendship. You’re just really bad with it.

[Somimimimi] yu hang out with him all break - is that not eough?

[You] I thought I was being a good friend! I was interested but also BORED because two of the most important ppl of my lives DITHCED ME.

[Stoneface Dan] Uh, no. You can’t pull that one on me. I offered.

[Somimimimi] 😭😭😭

[You] Shut up. You guys suck.

[Somimimimi] We thought you knew!

[Stoneface Dan] How can you not know yourself?

[You] THAT’S WHY I’M ASKING YOU.

You try and distract yourself from the running thoughts of Young K with homework due in, but after an hour and a bit of reading most of the same sentences over and over again, your usually flowing writing grinding to a halt, you toss it in. It’s late, but still relatively active outside. It can’t be healthy to think about this so much, nor try and study the way you currently are. So, ignoring the signs of the weather and the chill still nipping the breeze, you break for air, glad it’s a weekend. Pulling out your old bike and pedaling down to the riverside park, ignoring the potential for bugs. You didn’t usually go this far seeing as of course, bugs, but also the fact that it’s further than the park by the convenience store. How can everyone have seen it but you? These are your emotions after all. Your heart potentially on the line.

You don't know when you start missing his closeness - always standing by your side, close enough to touch, but not quite. The evenings spent dutifully walking you home, having him on speaker phone as you change - while you shimmy out of your school skirt, no longer feeling odd about the ignorant intimacy you feel.

That close, quiet conversation at night, whether it be verbal or written (if he’s on shift). Where you know about everything and nothing, including his debilitating crush from his previous school he still thinks about and your barren relationship history as well as your softest niggling fears from it.

When sharing his spoils of tardiness stops feeling funny. Or how easy it is to fall into step with him and tell him about your day - listen to him do the same with growing softness and light that his eyes bare.

Laughing because he is and feeling like you’re breathing in a whole new life every time. Knowing his music inside and out; that his songs are the same as your stories. Another language to some, his truth to you. Appreciating every note because they were all supposed to be called Younghyun.

Describing Younghyun as Youth. Endless laughter, sunshine smiles, moonlit hums, the thrill of summer.

You must not look very approachable as your walk your baby blue bike to your favourite bench. Aimed facing the river, right by the bridge, the Seoul city lights a twinkling cluster of vitality. A mix between a pout and a scowl resting on your face, you’re almost stomping along the pathway with shoulders of stone. You’re even more disheartened and emotionally charged when you see a lanky shape meeting you halfway. Wandering aimlessly, with his pale hands stuffed in his pockets, dark thick fringe hovering over his brows. Even you have to admit though - he does look good in green.

“Donghae.”

“Donghae.”

He looks up to shift his focus better, smiling a little as he says your name in greeting. “It’s really late. What are you doing out?”

“I could ask you the same.” You retort, with cautious side eye.

“But I asked first.”

You shrug, slumping a little on your hip. “I just needed some space to think.”

You plant yourself next to him after propping your bike against a tree. Looking at him in the dim light makes you a little uncomfortable. How his elbows rest on his knees and all his limbs reminding you of a praying mantis. His fluffy, windblown fringe evens out his sharp visage though, as do his patient doe eyes - nothing like the overbearing gleam to them by day - sorry, by Somi.

“Ah, I see.” He says nodding sagely. “Something on your mind?”

You shoot him a glare. What hasn’t been on your mind today? “Since when are you my therapist?”

“Since, you’re my dear Somi’s friend. Besides, you’re never this worried - it makes me nervous. I promise I’ll listen well.”

You eye him wearily, the silence stretching between you. He waits steadily and you think you’ve never seen him so quiet or still. Finally, you relent, knowing that if you didn’t he’d still wait - one thing you could give him was persistence. Anyway, what’s wrong with an outside opinion? You try as best as you can to make your story vague, leaving out identifying details.

The more you talk, the more you’re able to put together your thoughts and fears. Details start to slip with passion.

You squeeze your eyes shut. “I’m afraid of what he’ll say - what it will mean for our friendship. It’s so fresh and important to me. We worked really hard on understanding and discovering each other to get to where we are. I don’t want to lose him.”

“There’s every chance you might lose him, whether you say something or not. Say something and it’ll either be happy ending or broken hearts. Scare him off to the hills and make it even harder to get back to where you both are now. A few words can change everything. But,” he holds your gaze, doe eyes gone and replaced with something far deeper and harder to describe, “say nothing and you may lose him to someone else without knowing how he felt. I’ve learnt that the unrequited, unknown heartache can be the worst of all. You won’t know Brian - uh, Young K’s thoughts unless you ask.”

“I guess Donghae - hey, how -”

“Everyone knows, isn’t that what you said?” He crips with a smirk on his full mouth.

You scowl and turn away from him. You feel the wood creak under you as he leans back, peering up at the sky, the city lights polluting the stars to invisibility. Only the waning moon is left.

“I know this stuff - why else do you think I confess to Somi? So I know I don’t have regrets.”

“But why so often?”

You glance at him, barely, trying to be discreet about your curiosity. His mouth pulls at a hazy smile, a pleasant sight on Donghae’s usually animated features. His head lolls to face you.

“So I always know how she’s feeling. Sounds silly to you because you’re her friend. She’ll always tell you her emotions. The same can’t be said for myself. And sure, right now there is no affection - it may never happen. Things change, though. I can hope.” The wistful tone to his voice is heartbreaking, a feeling you never thought you would have for the boy. “You don’t have to. But what have you really got to lose? Regret?”

You put a hand on his arm and draw him fully out of his thoughts. His lashes are startingly long as they flutter you into focus. A car beeps across the bridge and the river still ripples quietly. The wind, while getting warmer, still rips through you.

“Thanks Donghae. I do hope you’ll find someone who will love you.” You say gently, only broken by a shiver - leaving the house in your skirt and thin shirt was a bad idea.

“Me too. You’re cold.” He unzips his jacket, throwing it into your lap. “Put this on and I’ll walk you home. It’s late.”

You’re halfway back when you ask, “so, why were you out so late, Donghae?”

“To think about Somi. A little time to be wishful, a little time to be sad. At least before I got back to life and my quest to gain her heart!” He throws his fist in the air, something like an anime character.

You want to laugh - really, you do. But you can’t bring yourself to from the way your heart pulls for Donghae’s passionate love endeavour. Time for Somi. You screw your nose up to stem the sting in your eyes.

“O-of course.” You manage to choke out, trying to fall back into the same sarcastic, protective snarl from before. You can’t though so you add, “pro-tip - try being sincere - you don’t need to show off for her.”

He stares at you owlishly, trundling your bike for you on the roadside as you look away so he doesn’t catch the emotion in your eyes.

You thank him greatly for walking you back and insistently shove the jacket back into his hands. With a smirk and a firm good luck, you see him off. It’s not until his figure wanders to the bottom of the hill that you let your bright visage crumble for him, swiping roughly at the tear or two that escapes.

Donghae is right. Better to confess and not regret than pine and wonder and wait until it’s too late, being forced to let him go.

Soon, you tell yourself. Soon.

[crowned-ladybug]

@theglitterbombsystem @janisilverstorm <3

Okay now I realise that the catalyst for me giving this AU more thought was probably this fic, which I read a couple days ago when I was feeling too shit to even sit up (and if you like V:LD and feel up for a long fic, I highly recommend you read it. It's amazing). I've been wanting a more magical AU where magic is a more everyday concept for ages and I guess this fic gave me the final push for it (esp knowing I got hopelessly stuck with "Normality"/the Mundane Magic AU and I’ll forever mourn it).

Also, if you notice any egos missing from this (which you will), it's bc I have no idea yet how to put them into this. Suggestions on that and just in general are absolutely welcome

Tbh the basic idea was just that what if Marvin had a magic shop but not the kind where he sells like loaded dice and weird card decks and other fake magic props but one that's like. actual magic. like he sells spells and charms and actual magic ingredients and supplies and breaks minor curses and stuff.

The whole shop is just a lot of clutter but in a very endearing fashion. There's countless shelves full of containers labelled with indecipharable handwriting and all sorts of books, from recent paperbacks with white lines all over their covers and spines from being opened so much, to heavy leather-bound ones written in all sorts of languages. There are plant pots sitting on every horizontal surface and hanging from the ceiling, housing all sorts of herbs and some entirely decorative plants, the labels stuck to each pot already too faded to read, and Marvin doesn't bother to redo them because he knows what all of them are anyway. There's charms and strings of beads and ornaments made of glass and wood and clay hanging from the ceiling, from the corners of shelves and from the armada of lopsided hooks in what little free space remains on the walls. Most of the lighting is via floating balls of light, easily spells maintained constantly by Marvin's magic. A lot of them are placed on the shelves here and there in jars, because they have a habit of wandering off, getting stuck behind stuff or bothering the costumers by getting tangled in their hair or clothes or somehow making their way into their bags. There's a counter in the back where Marvin spends most of his time, made of now scratched and scorched mahogany wood with golden ornamentation, more fit to be a hotel's reception desk than the counter in a small, cluttered magic shop in a thin old town street. The windows have colourful patterns and pictures painted over them and when the sun shines in through them, the same colours are cast onto the floor. Inside the shop everything seems to have a golden tint to it despite the windows otherwise just being regular glass, and it smells of the potted herbs and a bit of cinnamon.

Varjú the hooded crow is Marvin's familiar and assistant. He knows the name of p much all ingredients and trinkets and can fetch them for Marvin, but then again, Marvin can just levitate them to himself too. Varjú's more important purpose is watching the shop if Marvin is not there, helping deal with costumers, keeping Marvin company and helping his magic remain stable and focused during harder tasks. He can also deliver things to frequent costumers if needed, or go shopping for tiny things at vendors that already know Marvin (Varjú has a lil pouch for carrying money and whatever goods he can't just pick up with his talons).

Magic in this world is an ordinary and accepted thing, tho not everyone has it. One's chances of being born with enough magic to actually do something with are probably about the same as being left-handed, maybe somewhat higher. So maybe half of Marvin's costumers are actual magic users, the other half are regural people looking for magical solutions to their problems, which is just as much of a normal thing to do as shopping online is.

I don't know Everyone's place in this, but there are the ones I do:

Signe is a witch, not incredibly powerful but with a lot of love and contentment towards her craft. She mainly deals with nature magic, and Marvin buys from her about as much as she buys from Marvin. A lot of times there isn't even an actual exchange of money between them, they just trade. They help keep each other's herb supply balanced and usable at all times, and sometimes she tempts Marvin into trading with her by offering art supplies and not magical items, which Marvin accepts very enthusiastically. A lot of the ornaments and charms hanging in the shop were made by Signe, and most of them are for sale. Signe doesn't have a shop of her own, so she brings her creations she doesn't plan on keeping to Marvin, who enchants them (bc magic items made my multiple ppl are stronger) and usually ends up selling them p quickly, and they split the profit fairly.

I have no clue whether Seán has magic or not but I do know that he keeps adopting the light ball things that end up the most hopelessly tangled into him, and Marvin lets him bc he can always just create new ones. Seán already has like three or four of them floating aimlessly around his office and he has names for each of them.

Jackie doesn't seem to have any magic in him at first glance and I honeslty don't know if he does have any magic at all. He just showed up at Marvin's shop one day seeming like an ordinary one-time client, looking like a giant nerd and acting kinda shy. He asked for a protection charm (like an actual physical charm not a magic spell), and Marvin assumed it was out of a history of bad luck or anxiety, which he could definitely understand. And because the unique items like charms don't have price tags, he gave it to Jackie cheaper than usual without mentioning it. (He tends to bring down his prices a lil if a first time costumer is exceptionally attractive or nice, or if they look like they could put the bit of spare money to good use.) But a week later Jackie came back to buy another one, and then later another. When finally Marvin asked him why he needed so many, he eventually gave in to his conscience and said that they keep running out (breaking, burning up, falling apart, etc, which protection charms only do when protecting their wearer from really great danger and thus their magic runs out) and thus he always comes back to get a new one. Marvin is baffled by how such a meek looking guy could get into mortal danger so frequently, but he doesn't pry.

Anti is, well, interesting. My original plans for him were just a kinda mysterious human with insanely strong magic and then I kicked that whole paragraph out the window. Anti was the reason Marvin met Seán and Signe. He rarely leaves shop to do his work, but he was asked so nicely (and promised a great bonus for his troubles) to come take a look at some guy's computer that they have the suspicions either got cursed or posessed by something, because it's acting seriously freaky. Usually exorcising minor demons ends with the demon either being weakened so much it has no other choice than to flee, or the demon being destroyed completely. But this demon was more than just a half-sentient inconvenience and...it didn't seem hostile either? It was defensive when Marvin tried to mess with it, sure, but otherwise it seemed more collected and maybe a bit scared, or curious even once Marvin ceased his own hostility. He decided to give talking to the demon a chance, and found that it possessed a human level of sentience and intelligence (and even a name, Anti), and that it - he just wanted an entertaining place to live (which a computer with lots of games and activity definitely classifies as) and has frankly grown kinda fond of the computer's owner too. Marvin managed to coax him out and into some other item on his person (since at the time Anti wasn't yet able to take up a corporeal form), but when it became obvious to Anti that Marvin wanted to take him away, even if he did promise not to kill him, Anti absolutely freaked out. This was his home, he wanted to stay here and befriend these people living here if they were okay with it, he didn't want to leave, he didn't want to be taken away. Marvin had to present Seán with the situation - "Look, it is a demon, but he's also pretty chill and likes your taste in video games. He doesn't mean any harm and would like to be your friend, if you'd be okay with that? I don't need to get rid of him if you don't want me to." Seán and Signe gave it some serious thought and then accepted and let Anti stay and gave him an old phone (like an iphone or something they didn't use anymore not a nokia brick) to talk and see through until Marvin taught him how to take up a corporeal form. He's now completely capable of disguising himself as human, he technically lives with Seán and Signe but he also spends a lot of time in Marvin's shop (and later with other ppl like Dark and Chase as they come into the story).

Schneep is a healer (of the magical kind), who mainly has his own herb supply to sustain his patients, but when that's not the case he comes to Marvin for a short chat and to buy some. Aside from that, he periodically buys stuff to help him sleep or concentrate (mostly lil packets of assorted herbs he himself doesn't have, and a dangly charm he hung above his desk that also just looks great). After a while he started taking two packets instead of one, saying it was for a friend who also has trouble sleeping.

Said friend is yet to show up, but instead of him (and instead of Schneep getting stuff for him) his boyfriend, a tiny man with a bowler hat and a snazzy mustache by the name of Jameson, has become another frequent visitor of the shop. When he first came in, he started talking to Marvin by writing stuff down on a notepad in his hand, and he was very relieved when Marvin told him that he knows sign language, so if Jameson does too, it should be easier. He never buys anything for himself (he has more than enough magic to sustain himself), instead he comes in for stuff to help his boyfriend Shawn with his sleep problems and hallucinations, mostly herb packets, potions and charms that get used up alarmingly fast. After a handful of times of coming to the shop, Jameson brought a crow figurine for Marvin, as a gift from Shawn. Now besides Signe, Shawn is Marvin's most important charm supplier, because while Signe's charms mostly appeal to teens and adults, Shawn's creations are toys. And I mean, what's better than a teddy bear that's a child's favourite toy being enchanted to keep the child safe or grant them good luck?

I don't know much about Angus aside from that he shows up every once in a blue moon and trades Marvin rare supplies and ingredients he found on his journeys in exchange for potions and spells.

The only Iplier I know stuff about for now is Dark, who doesn't have a fuckin ounce of magic in him, and it probably frustrates him a lot bc he slowly becomes quite the frequent visitor of Marvin's shop. He's always very polite and reserved and gets straight to the point, simply asking for this or that potion or spell, scratching Varjú's head while he waits, paying and leaving. Marvin finds him strange but doesn't mind him. The first time he comes in while Anti is hanging out in the shop, Marvin almost bursts out laughing at the blatant look of interest on Anti's face. Anti flirts up a storm, Dark is very perplexed, and once he's gone Marvin threatens to kill Anti if he just scared off one of his best costumers. But Dark isn't that easy to scare off, he comes back after the same amount of time he always does, and he even offhandedly asks why Marvin's outstandingly extroverted friend isn't present. (I have no idea how that line of the story continues tbh but it does. somehow.)

Robbie I'm still a little unsure about, but here's the idea for now. Anti spends plenty of time digitally snooping around in places he shouldn't, but he usually leaves his friends out of it. One time tho he shows up at Marvin's place in the evening, asking if he wants to do something very dangerous, probably very stupid, but probably also kinda heroic, and of course Marvin is in. Turns out, Anti had managed to track down some ppl dealing with zombies, which is a multiple times illegal thing bc 1. they rob graves, 2. they commit illegal magic and 3. they sell the thus created, mostly docile zombies as "low maintenance workforce" (in other words, slaves). When Marvin and Anti get there it turns out that these particular ppl aren't exactly experienced, only have one zombie on their hands currently, and thus they kick their asses very quickly. The singular zombie is heavily sedated, really loopy and the most interested in Marvin's shiny jewellery. They fuck off, rescue zombie included, before the police get there, bc they don't trust the police to handle a confescated zombie properly either. Back at Marvin's shop they try to get the zombie back to what seems to be his full capacity and find out that he has the intelligence of a twenty-something but the mentality of a child. When asked his name, he can only say "Rroooo....RoooOOOOOoooo...." and doesn't seem to remember the rest of it, until Anti guesses "Robbie" and the zombie devolves into happy squealing and flapping. They don't exactly know what to do with him, and after weeks of fruitless search for his family, they give up on handing him over to someone else. Robbie (who in the meantime became trained in some simpler forms of magic, tried to eat one of Marvin's magic light ball things and found himself a place in the hearts of everyone he's met) ends up living with Schneep, who has a house too big for only one person anyway and is v happy to take him in. He still spends a lot of time in Marvin's shop, tho usually in the back room/office practicing magic or crafting stuff bc he's scared of the costumers and the costumers are scared of him.

Pff, I think that's all I have for now.

[sonyasongwriter]

John 8:36“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

Christ Jesus came to this world pre-ordained by God The Father                          To set the Captives be set free The only way to Our Father God  is by way of the son Christ Jesus. Without Christ Jesus there can be no deliverance daily we are to ask the Lord to deliver us from self and lustful desires of this world amen

Galatians 5:17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.

*AFFLICTED AND ADDICTED SEVERELY*

This was me 15 YEARS AGO until one morning I woke up with the Bible on my on my bosom opened to Psalms 116 laying flat on my back my arms folded across my bible across my and feet crossed as someone had laid me in that position. (peacefully resting) My entire living room destroyed as if there had been a brawl of several ppl But in fact it of from the struggle of my self and the supernatural unseen entities that manifest this particular night. I was severely afflicted and addicted on the path to self destruction a path that was leading me directly in the mouth of hell had not the Lord answered just in the nick of time. The grip of death had taken hold of me but Lord himself apprehended the Strong man within me removing It. For it had me bound had come to take my life that night all my warnings and chances had ran out expired

    *THE ENEMY BECKONING GOD TO REMOVE HEDGE OF PROTECTION*               Mocking my Condition asking God for my life

I was drinking alone util the last drop as usual I found myself standing in front of the bathroom mirror I found myself holding the Bible in my left hand In my right hand I was holding a bottle of VSOP Brandy

That is when the entire atmosphere changed and things shifted instantly It went from these entities mocking and questioning God To remove hedge of protection from me turn me over to a reprobate I leaned in towards the mirror and saw 2 pure black balls eyes They where looking back at me filled with intense hatred

I was very frightened at this point I dropped the bottle and the bible That is when the physical realm around me opened up as portal And the hounds of hell where able to manifest themselves.

*THE SUPERNATURAL MANIFESTED INTO THE NATURAL*

I DID EXPERIENCE THIS AND IT IS HORRIFYING WITH ONLY A LITTLE BREATH DURING THIS DESPERATE SUPERNATURAL STRUGGLE SOMETHING OUT OF A TV MOVIE IT WAS. I WAS AWARE THAT SOMETHING WAS INSIDE OF ME UNTIL THIS NIGHT THIS DEMON WAS VERY ANGRY IT TOOK OVER MY LIMBS COMPLETELY AND MY VOICE

I HAD VERY LITTLE STRENGTH DO ANYTHING I WAS BEING TOSSED ALL AROUND LIKE A RAG DOLL . AS I TRIED TO SCREAM FOR HELP IN MY NATURAL GOD GIVEN VOICE THE VOICE OF THIS DEMOM WOULD SPEAK AND SILENCE ME I COULD FEEL A GRIP A STRONG GRIP AROUND MY THROAT CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME.

I KNEW ENOUGH TO TO CALL ON THE NAME OF AND I DID AND INSTANTLY IN DESPERATION IN COMPLETE FEAR I SCREAMED OUT "JESUS HELP ME" AND INSTANTLY THE ATMOSPHERE CHANGED.

*THE LORD GOD HIMSELF REBUKED SATAN FOR ME* He Rebuked The Devour For My Sake Supernaturally Spiritual Realm, Dimensions, The Supernatural

Last thing I remember was seeing I was on my stomach like a snake moving Still being slung around all over the place multiple things going on at once During all this activity I had been trying to free myself of these entities but I could not up until the point when I called on the Name of Jesus!

A HOST OF BEINGS THAT WHERE NOT OF THIS EARTH I HAD NEVER SEEN PEOPLE THAT LOOK LIKE THIS EVER ( ANGELS ) 2 OF THEM TO BE EXACT Fierce looking body built much stronger than a human body These supernatural beings where at least 10 ft tall or more in statue (Giants) Their color was that of a pale grayish clay pale color with should length hair Why I was allowed to see this and live to tell of it I did not know then but I now know why.

I saw dragging a black figure one on each side and this thing on it's knees Attempting to resist but it could because the had it bound in chains Later on as years went by I began to study on this type of thing and the Holy Spirit revealed to me that this thing had manifest out of another dimension between the 3rd and 4th dimension.

Portals had Opened up doors that had been opened in my life Allowed for this evil spirits to take possession of my physical body Excessive Alcohol Use , Witchcraft that had been sent to me, And the absence of God in my life and Generational Curses.

You see I would have surely died that night after what seemed forever of fighting with these evil spirits for my life from being physically choked and tossed around like weightless rag doll . Tormented manifestations of all sorts until I had given up only thing I knew to do was call on the name of Jesus with all my energy and might !

You see The Lord had enough of me and my wicked filthy drinking My strong hold was not men, not money, not jealousy , not homosexuality Not Whorish ways. But rather the strong that had me bound sucking the life out of me was alcohol and the sprits attached to it low self esteem, no self worth, rejection, depression & witchcraft (please do some research on why alcohol is called "Spirits"

I WILL FOREVER BE IN THE DEBTED TO CHRIST JESUS FOR NOT ALLOWING SATAN TO REMOVE ME FROM MY FAMILY AT THE AGE OF 33 BUT RATHER UNDENIABLY ADDED YEARS TO MY LIFE THIS I KNOW WITHOUT A DROP OF DOUBT.

*WARNING TO THE MOCKERS & UNBELIEVERS* Those Who Mock The Supernatural Power Of God

MANY OF MAY BE LAUGHING RIGHT ABOUT NOW BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT I'M FREE, FREE ENOUGH TO SHARE MY TESTIMONY WITH YOU AND NOT BE ASHAMED OR CARE WHAT MANY WILL THINK INCLUDING RELIGIOUS PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE NOT IN THIS TYPE OF THING YOU SEE WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS THAT THE LACK OF KNOWLEDGE TO THIS TYPE OF THING IS SETTING MANY UP FOR FAILURE EVEN DEATH

MANY OF YOU ARE HOST TO THESE ENTITIES AND DON'T EVEN KNOW IT WICKED EVIL SPRITS THAT HAVE BEEN SENT BY GENERATIONAL CURSES, WITCHCRAFT , EXCESSIVE WILLFULLY SINNING JESUS HIMSELF REBUKED SATAN FOR ME INSTANTLY YES HE DID AS I SIT AND WRITE ABOUT IT TEARS FLOW FROM MY EYES STILL TODAY HE WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU TODAY IF YOU SINCERELY CALL UPON THE NAME OF JESUS.

THE WORD OF GOD SAYS MY PEOPLE PERISH FOR THE LACK OF KNOWLEDGE, ROOT WORD OF KNOWLEDGE IS (KNOW) HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF GOD HIMSELF DOES NOT REVEAL IT TO YOU THE WISDOM OF GOD IS UNLIKE THE WISDOM OF THIS WORLD FOR IT REVEALS REVELATION AND REVELATION REVEALS ALL THING SEEN AND UNSEEN.

PROVERBS 29:18 Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom's instruction

HOSEA 4:6 6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.

      *FINAL WARNING BEFORE DESTRUCTION*                few days prior to deliverance

In my sinful state 1 week prior to the night of this horrible manifestation I heard the Voice of authority God speak to me and tell me in a clear voice I'M GOING KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING "BEING A FILTHY DRUNKARD "

 I WAS WARNED BY THIS VOICE IT WAS NOT THE VOICE OF SATAN FOR SATAN WANTED TO SIFT ME LIKE WHEAT AND WAS PREPARED TO FINISH ME OFF WARNING ME NO NEVER SATAN. PLEASE DON'T TRY TO PERSUADE ME THAT GOD WILL NOT SPEAK TO YOU DIRECTLY AND CLEARLY AND TELL YOU YOUR TIME IS ALMOST UP FOR I KNOW ALL TO WELL MYSELF FROM EXPERIENCE.

*DENIAL OF ALCOHOL ADDICTION THAT LEAD TO POSSESSION* Of My Physical & Mental , Mind Control A puppet of satan They Are called The Manipulated Walking Dead

LYING TO MYSELF SAYING I WAS STRESSED AND DEPRESSED EXCUSES OF A BAD MARRIAGE ONE THAT CHRIST DID NOT EXIST IN USING THOSE EXCUSES TO DRINK 24/7 EVERY DAY ALL DAY AND NIGHT     I WAS ALWAYS A PERSON OF DEEP COMPASSION TOWARDS OTHERS.               EVEN THOUGH I WAS A FITHLY DRUNKARD I LOVED CARED FOR PEOPLE

ABOUT 4 WEEKS BEFORE THE ONSET OF ALL THIS ACTIVITY                         I TOOK IN A PERSON WHO HAD AIDS AND HAD NO WHERE TO GO

NO-ONE ELSE WANTED TO CARE FOR THIS PERSON AND SHUNNED THEM MY COMPASSION ALLOWED FOR ME TO REACH OUT TO THEM

I BATHE AND SPOON FED THE PERSON THEIR HEALTH WAS FAILING                SOMEHOW UNAWARE I NURSED THEM BACK TO HEALTH THEY COULD NOT EVEN LIFT A SPOON TO FEED THEIR SELF .

NOW THAT I LOOK BACK ON IT MAYBE THAT PERSON WAS TEST 

 CAME TO ME  IN THE FORM OF HUMAN BUT WITH TEST YOU SEE I DO LOOK BACK ON IT ALL AND I DO BELIEVE TODAY  IF I HAD REJECTED 

THEM MAYBE GOD WOULD HAVE REJECTED ME AND NOT GIVEN ME THAT FINAL WARNING & COMPASSION FOR I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF AT ALL AS THIS PERSON COULD NOT DO FOR THEMSELVES.

WHEN I LOOK BACK I CAN HONESTLY SAY  I BELIEVE BECAUSE OF MY COMPASSION TOWARDS MY FELLOWMAN (HUMANITY)  THE LORD GOD HAD MERCY AND COMPASSION ON ME .

AT THE TIME I DID NOT SEE IT THAT WAY I WAS SIMPLY OVERWHELMED BY THE SUFFERING OF THIS PERSON IT WAS TO MUCH TO BARE I HAD TO DO SOMETHING I DID AND IN RETURN GOD GAVE ME A SUPERNATURAL MIRCLE WITH SUPERNATURAL BEINGS THAT CAME TO MY RESCUE 

I DID THIS ACT OF KINDNESS EVEN IN MY SINFUL STATE OF MIND I WAS NOT LOOKING FOR ANY REWARD OR ANY PAY OR RECONNECTION AT ALL THIS WAS MY CHARACTER I ALWAYS WENT OUT OF MY WAY TO HELP THOSE WHO WHERE HURTING . 

I NOW REALZE THAT GOD HAD TO PROVE TO SATAN WHAT TYPE OF PERSON IT WAS THAT HE HAD BOUND IN BONDAGE I WAS WONDERING WHY GOD DELIVERED ME INSTANTLY LIKE HE DID BUT NOW I KNOW.           LOVE AND COMPASSION ABOVE ALL THINGS PLEASES GOD  GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE IS GOD AMEN. (do not take love thy neighbor lightly or in vain amen

I WAS BEAUTIFUL ON THE OUTSIDE WELL KEPT IN APPEARANCE ETC... BUT FILTHY AND POSSESSED ON THE INSIDE LIVING WITH DEMONS LORD JESUS JUST TO THINK ABOUT IT I SHAKE MY HEAD IN TEARS IN TEARS OF JOY STILL UNTIL THIS DAY AND THIS WAS 15 YEARS AGO

You see I was messed up inside out tore up from the floor up! See what had taken over me had possessed me completely! Alcohol 24/7 Morning,Noon,Night You see God Spared me from death To 1.Many Times ! DWI headed straight on for 18 wheeler 2.Intoxicated driving the Lord took me away from the city in a direction In an open field In A Brand New vehicle going no where straight to hell !

          * FINAL WARNING BEFORE DESTRUCTION*                    few days prior to deliverance 1 WEEK PRIOR TO THIS HORRIBLE MANIFESTATION AND GREAT DELIVERANCE I had wanted alcohol so bad one night got up out my bed in my pajamas And went to a bar there in Houston Tx Blalock Street to be exact I was only a few minutes from my home not even 2 miles from my home But Upon leaving this place which was on minutes from my home I found myself far far away from my home traveling on a dark country road Seem there had been a loss of time hours woke up In A field not recalling much except that I was safe with no harm to me not one scratch.

In this field where cow, horses, sheep other live stock I plainly remember it like it was yesterday for it is branded in my mind never to be forgotten. You see satan had a plan to make sure I was murdered in the city for he had beckoned God for my life. But the Lord let me drive and drive in a rural area In a pasture of animals is where I ended up the Lord once again intervened and allowed for me to not drive into the dangerous city limits or even be killed in a crash but allowed for me drive on a rural county road.

A road that I had never been on before an unfamiliar area Now that I look back I know that even the Lord God taken me in a entirely new direction that something was about to change. As a spiritual war is fought by spirit also must manifest in the natural Amen. We are not Mortals and not Immortals so this war has to be fought with a balance the natural and supernatural (INTERCESSION)

           *FINAL WARNING BEORE DESTRUCTION *             missing time or time unaccounted for

From around 3am-6am I experienced something that till this day I can't explain Missing Time In the pasture In which i have no memory from that point of what happened . I only can tell yo where I was and my surroundings and that I was eventually able to navigate my self back home at the break of dawn.

The area full of sheep and cows in a green pasture Was I afraid? No I was not Was I harmed in anyway ? No I have prayed about this event for years and some answers I have gotten some answers at this time I will not elaborate on it. But in the future if released by God to do so I will open up about it!

Just know that I was sheltered by the hand of God kept safe Prepared for deliverance which was to come 1 week and it did I do believe this night as well that I had a divine visitation One That I can't recall much about only what God wants me to know at this time.

             *THE SOVEREIGN WILL OF GOD*       God’s sovereign or decretive will is also called              His “hidden” will It is “sovereign

Something had been done pertaining to my memory I could not remember my name for a briefly couple hours Wondering how I had gotten there in this field puzzled in dismay I started my my vehicle and just began to drive in any direction I came to a gas station I asked them what area was this

My memory began to come back I remembered my name And that I had a husband & family and I needed to get back to them I had never stayed away all night from my daughters (never)

God had warned me but I disobeyed to answer the call and he still was giving me a change to come back to my first love before he allowed for my life to be snatched from me.

This Chapter of my life I have been in prayer about over the years And some revelation has come but for the most I'm grateful For the Lord did make th me to lie down in green pastures  PSALMS 23 Literally applies to my life.

All I have to say about this is that God sometimes spares of from destrucion He will examine the heart of men like only he can if he sees fit to Sometimes Many of us that should have met destruction are still here! By the Sovereign Will of God .

    *THE SOVEREIGN WILL OF GOD* God’s sovereign or decretive will is also 

                           His “hidden” will It is “sovereign

God is preeminent in power and authority. God’s sovereignty is a natural consequence of His omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence. What’s subject to disagreement is to what extent God applies His sovereignty—specifically, how much control He exerts over the wills of men. When we speak of the sovereignty of God, we mean He rules the universe, but then the debate begins over when and where His control is direct and when it is indirect.

God is described in the Bible as all-powerful and all-knowing (Psalm 147:5), outside of time (Exodus 3:14; Psalm 90:2), and responsible for the creation of everything (Genesis 1:1; John 1:1). These divine traits set the minimum boundary for God’s sovereign control in the universe, which is to say that nothing in the universe occurs without God’s permission. God has the power and knowledge to prevent anything He chooses to prevent, so anything that does happen must, at the very least, be “allowed” by God.

                  *THE HOUR OF TRUTH HAS COME*

                  When you are chosen and you defy God                         what are the consequences

I had become a stumbling block for others and standing in the way of my family members receiving salvation So Time was up for me and I knew it I could see the spirit of death that took firm hold of me. To many doors had been opened doors leading to hell and destruction they needed to be closed right away or I would have been in my grave at the age of 33 years of age!

1 week exactly after this particular event with loss of time Is when I experienced the night of Supernatural Deliverance From the most High God still drinking shaken up about not being able to account for a loss of time.

If I would have not remembered my First Love Christ Jesus And called upon him that night I know without a doubt that That I was finished the handwriting was on the wall events that had happened the prior week had shaken me to the core.

Be it Chosen or not when God gets tired of our disobedience It often causes of to live a short life cut off in our prime (premature death) untimely death.

And God does get tired for this he let it rain down fire and Brimstone On Sodom and Gomorrah God has flooded the earth of the wicked and all things saving only a few obedient Noah and his seed. Satan often comes before God as he did with Job asking God to remove The hedge of protection from around Job and God did

For God has examined Job's heart and knew that it was pure As today God is examining mans heart and God himself and only God can see the impurities within a man and the pureness of a man That is one of the reason that some of us are still here Today And the reason that some of us are not here.

           *RETURNING BACK TO MY FIRST LOVE*                        IN THE NICK OF TIME

Actually these events put the Fear of God back within my heart and opened my eyes to things that you will not often learn in a Sunday School lesson or Bible study. But yet I know for myself that I had a visitation from the presence of Angelic beings not of this world Am I ashamed to tell it knowing that I may be ridiculed even mocked. No I'am not because I can no longer keep this to myself God has released me to speak on it no matter what man says It was not man that SuperNaturally and Instantly Rebuked the Devour of Satan upon me It was Christ Jesus that Allowed God to move on my behalf Amen I will forever be over grateful and sold out as a servant of the Most High God. ( Thank You Master Glory to you Father)

        *THE WISDOM OF GOD REVEALS REVELATION*              Revelation Reveals All Things & Unseen

Getting drunk a drunkard is the equivalent of a Swine is FILTHY LIKE A SWINE WADDLING IN A PIG PEN. EVER SEEN A PIG PEN ? I HAVE AS A CHILD IN THE COUNTRY AND IT IS FILTHY THE PIG JUST ROLLS AROUND IN THE MUD EATING ANYTHING EVEN HIS OWN FECES EVER IN HIS WAY. I REMEMBER THE CARE TAKER SAYING THIS IS WHAT WE FEED THEM IT IS CALLED SLOP IT IS ALL KIND OF LEFT OVER FOODS AND IT SMELLS HORRIBLY.

SLOP IS WHAT THE DRUNKARD ABSORBS INTO THIER BODIES POURING EVERY TYPE OF POSION LIQUOR INTO THEIR SYSTEM SOMETIMES EVEN GETTING ALCOHOL POISONING. GUESS WHAT PIGS DON'T EVEN HAVE PORES SO ALL THAT CRAP THEY EAT STAYS INSIDE UNTIL EXCRETED BUT HUMANS HAVE POURS SO WE ARE ABLE TO SWEAT THE ALCOHOL OFF OR EVEN VOMIT IT BACK UP.

PIGS WILL EVEN LICK UP THIER OWN VOMIT I WAS EQUIVALENT TO A FILTHY PIG GOD SHOWED ME TRYING TO HELP YOU GET A REVELATION YOU BEETER GET THIS! THE WISDOM OF GOD IS UNLIKE THE WISDOM OF THIS WORLD FOR IT REVEALS REVELATION AND REVEALS ALL THING SEEN AND UNSEEN.

         *BACK TO THE SUPERNATURAL EXPERIENCE*                after the final warning God said enough

This supernatural event with Angels and set date with death that I did not see for God canceled it out Amen. After seeing these angels apprehending this strong man (Demon) I was put to sleep and rested in Peace woke up with the very Bible I had been holding earlier .

The same Bible I was holding in one hand and a bottle of Alcohol in one hand This Bible ended up on my chest turned to psalms 116 never in my life had I read this particular verse before ever but when I did that morning it did not strike me like it would later for I would full understand what had happened in fullness Amen !

I know that I know that I know with every ounce of understanding within me Christ Jesus Himself Rebuked the devour of satan on my behalf. Not because I deserved it , nor because good needed me, nor because I was special but because I called on the name Jesus in all sincerity when hell and it's hounds had a grip on me a Strong Hold

           *A DIVINE APPOINTMENT AT THE ALTER*               Pre-ordained by a Father God himself

The Lord still working on me from the am morning hours until day break I woke up in a peaceful state of mind the Holy Bible was opened to Psalms 116 laying across my chest I removed it and read the scriptures My God I was then guided to by unction of the Holy Spirt to a small church in a county town of Jasper Texas.

I did not exactly know what was going on but I knew there was an urgency for me to get to this church a . ( URGENCY SO I OBEYED) I now know that I myself had been apprehended by the sovereign will of God . And was under the the unction of the Holy Spirt and was moving with an urgency Life or Death depended on it.

Back then I was unaware of this but today I understand that the Lord Most High God was going to complete what he had started in me. I walked in the church walked to the front pew and sat there I remember service was almost over I was right on time for my divine appoint with God at the alter for further deliverance to be completed amen. (Glory to God )

The Apostle of the church called alter call I got up went forward And so did several other people standing there wanting prayer for whatever their need was. I remember the preacher going down the line asking each individual what they needed prayer for when he got to me It began he bent down looked in my eyes shook his head and said church in now dismissed you all may leave I heard him say over he microphone ( if you are here you do not believe in the power of God then you should go

I heard him say to remove all the children from the church and to open the front doors of the Church I grabbed his hand tightly in desperation and said to him if you do not pray for me I'm going to die and I went limp and collapsed to the floor at the Alter. You see for those who don't understand let me clarify it for you God had sent Angels in the morning hours to remove the strong man that had me bound a prisoner in my own body in my own mind.

I don't think you hear God rebuked satan on my behalf yes he did removing the strongest demon from within me . But there was purging that needed to be done and with this purging out came the smaller spirits with no place to go but back to the dry places.

I see now why the Apostle asked for the front door to remain open The revelation of God reveals all things seen and unseen I keep repeating that so that you will catch on and understand what I mean I'm a living witness to the Supernatural and that is real just as real as you or me there are things seen and unseen in this world be not deceived my brothers and sisters.

Luke 11:24 When an unclean spirit comes out of a man, it passes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.'

Matthew 12:44 Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' On its arrival, it finds the house vacant, swept clean and put in order.

            ( THE ANOINTING THE CALL OF AN APOSTLE )                   THE 5 FOLD MINISTRY EVIDENCE                   CASTING OUT UNCLEAN SPIRITS

Apostle Kelvin Hall My beloved spiritual father whom labored and toiled over me transferring the mantle upon my life , exhausted but he never quit obedient to the call of God upon my life.

I'm forever grateful to you man of God concerning my life thank you for being obedient and continuing my deliverance @ the Alter when I collapsed from being used up by Satan surely I would have surely died the following month or days Yes death was all over me ! (God himself rebuked Satan for me) Thank you man of God For keeping the church doors open way longer than usual !

He stayed and he prayed me through rare something you don't see Pastors take the time out to do today. Thank you Lord for you obedient Apostles that do your will Father. Thank you Lord for the True Holy Ghost Fire Thank you Lord for setting me free I was a captive held prisoner I don't think you all hear me.

After 3 hours purging, demonic activity resisting to flee but they had to go because this appoint was pre-ordained before time God knew that I would call upon him in all sincerity So it was God that set a date for my deliverance

My God and he will do the same or you or your loved ones amen When the Lord God has a set Divine Appointed Time concerning your life and circumstances not a demon in hell can can control it not a one Not even legions, Generals, Captains, in satan army GLORY TO GOD AMEN .

AFTER 3 OR SO HOURS I GOT UP OFF THAT FLOOR IN THE NAME OF JESUS AND RAN AROUND THAT CHURCH LIKE I HAD WON THE LOTTERY MY GOD NOBODY HAD TO TELL ME TO RUN

I BROKE OUT LIKE A FRESH WIND MY GOD IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE BURDENS THAT HAD BEEN LIFTED THE PRESSURE THE STRONG HOLD SPIRITS THAT HAD BEEN CAST BACK TO THE DRY PLACES

BE NOT DECEIVED MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS SATAN WALKS T AND FRO IN THIS LAND SEEKING WHOM HE MAY DEVOUR!

YOU BETTER WAKE UP AND START READING THAT SCRIPTURE WITH MORE CLARITY AMEN.

  *PEACE OF MIND MADE BRAND NEW physically & supernaturally *

LET ME BLOW YOUR MIND WITH THIS ON MY WAY BACK HOME THAT NIGHT AFTER A LONG DAY BEING SET FREE FEELING VERY STRANGE WEAK AND FATIGUED WHAT AN ORDEAL I NEEDED REST HOLY SPIRIT STILL RESTING HEAVILY UPON ME . I FELT LIKE A LITTLE GIRL WHO HAD NEVER LOST HER INNOCENCE A NEW PERSON MY SPIRITUAL EYES OPEN EVEN MY EYES WHERE VERY SENSITIVE TO LIGHT YOU SEE ON MY WAY BACK HOME TRAVELING 2 HOURS BACK TO MY CITY I PASSED IN AND OUT OF A DEEP TRANSE THIS WENT ON FOR THE ENTIRE RIDE HOME 2 HRS.

I WOULD WAKE THEN I WOULD PASS OUT I COULD FEEL LIKE I WAS BEING WORKED ON IN MY BODY I COULD SMELL THE STENCH OF ALCOHOL BEING RELEASED OUT OF MY PORES AS THEY OPENED AND CLOSED ! REMEMBER THE EXPLANATION OF THE COMPARISON OF A DRUNKARD IS EQUIVALENT TO A SWINE WELL LOOK AT GOD WAS DOING STILL WASN'T DONE WITH ME DETOXIFYING MY BODY A PURIFICATION WAS TAKING PLACE .

        *( BEING OPERATED ON BY HEAVENLY HANDS)*             THE SUPERNATURAL INTERNAL HEALING

AS THIS WAS HAPPENING IT MUST HAVE BEEN PAINFUL I SAY IT IN THAT MANNER BECAUSE I PASS OUT FOR 10 MINUTES OR SO THEN I WAKE UP DROWSY LIKE I HAD BEEN UNDER ANESTHESIA THIS HAPPENED ALL THE WAY BACK TO HOUSTON TEXAS

AND INBETWEEN BEING GENTLY BE PUT INTO A TRANS LIKE STATE I COULD HEAR THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MUSIC I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY MY ENTIRE LIFE MY GOD THE SOUNDS I HEARD SOUNDED LIKE A SYMPHONY OF ANGELS SINGING SO HIGH PITCHED NEVER IN THIS LIFETIME HAVE I HEARD ANYTHING THAT COMES CLOSE OR EVEN COMPARES TO IT

Listen to these sounds the very last pitch on the video and magnify it to the loudest  MHz you can imagine  earthly  glass shattering in the natural it would be multiply it  by many voices. That makes a perfect melody this is what i heard in my left ear only ! After this happened I had the ability to write music and songs. Something that i did not do at all  before I heard this symphony of heaven that’s what I call it because it was just that !  

 https://youtu.be/4Tno4L-6vP4 

I KNOW NOW TODAY THE VOICES THAT I HEARD WAS NONE OTHER THAN THE HEAVENLY SYMPHONY OF GOD REJOICING REJOICING FOR MY SOUL HAD BEEN SET FREE THIS DAY MY GOD IF YOU ONLY KNEW THAT CHOIRS OF HEAVEN ARE REAL AND THEY SING PRAISES TO THE MOST HIGH GOD AND THEY DO REJOICE WHEN A SOUL HAS BEEN SET FREE FROM CAPTIVITY AND THE OPPRESSION A STRONG HOLD AMEN!

THE LAST THING I REMEMBER I SAID SHALOM IN A SOFT WEAK VOICE A WORD I HAD NOT EVER HEARD OF UNTIL THAT DAY THEN I RESTED PEACEFULLY IT WAS DONE A FEW MONTHS LATER I LOOKED THE WORD UP AS I WAS ONLINE ATTEMPTING TO RESEARCH THESE EVENTS THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME ONLY TO LOOK THE WORD UP AND TO FIND OUT IT MEANS

                     (SHALOM, REST AND PEACE )              JESUS CAME TO SET THE CAPTIVES FREE

Shalom (Hebrew: שָׁלוֹם‬ shalom; also spelled as sholom, sholem, sholoim, shulem) is a Hebrew word meaning peace, harmony, wholeness, completeness, prosperity, welfare and tranquility and can be used idiomatically to mean both hello and goodbye.[1][2][3]

As it does in English, it can refer to either peace between two entities (especially between man and God or between two countries), or to the well-being, welfare or safety of an individual or a group of individuals.

MY FAMILY WATCHED OVER ME NOT KNOWING GOD WAS FINISHING WHAT HE STARTED MY DELIVERANCE TRUE DELIVERANCE SOMETHING GOD DID IN 4 HOURS AT THE ALTER SOMETHING AAA MEETINGS COULD HAVE NEVER DONE FOR ME. GOD THANK YOU JESUS IF I COULD ONLY TELL IT ALL HOW WORTHY AND MAGNIFICENT YOU ARE LORD A Strong Man (strong hold ) There is nothing The Blood of Jesus cant't break (Generational Curses The very root of it The Blood of Jesus Will Will Up root Curse it to die and wither up yes he will ! Deliverance is real strongholds are real generational curses are real and they will not be broken until You cry out and call Name of Jesus denounce and follow the instructions of God concerning this it.

                     *( SINCERITY  AND REPENTANCE TO GOD)*  

In Desperation for life and death for real not all this faking and shaking' see that will get you hurt or killed by these dark forces ! Instantly the Lord Rebuked the Witchcraft that had been sent to destroy me In the prime of my life very satanic powers that tried to take me out So I could not be here to tell you this Testimony Today! UPROOTED AND DRUG BACK TO DRY PLACES ! Am I ashamed to tell it NO! I'M NOT! I'm free set free by the Blood of Jesus Play time is over Satan is here to kill anyone he can and will because our disobedience to the call of God

IT NOT ABOUT YOU OR ME IT'S ALL ABOUT GOD People of God It is the Anointing over your life the enemy is after he does not want it to come fourth ! BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ANOINTING HEAR ME WELL IT'S ABOUT OBEDIENCE AND HUMILITY TO GOD

Because he knows you will be a major hitter against his kingdom of darkness he knows that you will be one to be obedient and go where God sends you AND TO WHOM HE SEND YOU . AND YOU WILL DO IT IN OBEDIENCE AND LOVE MOST OF ALL AMEN! BOLD ENOUGH TO CORRECT BUT IN LOVE SET APART AND SOLD OUT FOR CHRIST JESUS AMEN! You will the one as David to take on Goliath in whatever form that serpent comes in you will be ready to slay it A intercessor to do battle in Heavenly HIGH PLACES IN USEEN REALMS AND Dimensions AMEN.

            *RETURNING BACK TO MY FIRST LOVE*'              FROM WHENCE  I HAD I STRAYED , FALLEN              FROM REBELLION TO OBEDIENCE

To further Confirm my deliverance and my healing about 2 days after everything had settled down and i was back home shaken up in disbelief somewhat  but I knew i had to remain in a quiet place and think of all that had taken place . 

So for 7 days I was weak my bones weak I could not walk without trembling was like a new baby beginning to walk  feeling tired.  It was my appointed time of rest from all the ware and tear that I had put on my body over the years. 

Like i said to confirm what had taken place and 5 year old little girl walked up to me and said do you see the Angels they are sewing up your liver they gave you a new one!!!!  At this moment i was speechless and in shock in spite of all I had seen prior to this.                                                                                                    How could a child walk up to me without me saying a word to her and speak these words to me   ( i asked the child who told you that and what do you know about a liver she smiled and said I just know I see it you can’t see them they just finished .    

                                                               I trembled with the fear of God since that day a reverence (respect                       I knew I had been made brand new without a doubt in my mind I knew this       I have no desires to drink nor indulge with the wicked nor do I envy the wicked   but rather SOLD OUT FOR CHRIST JESUS

As A Heavenly Angelic Host Invisible to the Natural Eye go before you You see I got saved at age of 10 experienced the Holy Ghost God marked me for such a time as this Like he had marked many of you And there comes a time when God comes to collect he gets tired of the playing fed up with the filthy lifestyles

And don't you think for one second that God is not a wrathful for destroyed the inhabitants of earth numerous times for DISOBEDIENCE YES HE DID AND HE IS STILL THE SAME GOD AND HE CHANGES NOT MERCY AND GRACE YES BUT GOD JUDGES ALL SIN

EVEN HARDER ON THOSE WHO KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG THOSE WHO HAVE FALLEN FROM THEIR FIRST LOVE JUST AS SATAN HAS FELL FROM HIS FIRST ESTATE CORRUPTING EARTH GOD BELOVED CREATION HUMANITY YOU AND I THE ONES HE MADE IN HIS OWN IMAGE

But don't think the Lord does not get fed up with us because he does ! Thinking we can go on playing games and playing saved playing with the HolyGhost less you will be turned over to a REPROBATED MIND

No people of God Time to call on Jesus People he can Deliver you for real not this play thing that's going on see many of you are going to church full of demons and going back home full of demons .

All in your home all in your children and their children generation to generation you are traditional and you stand for wrong because God has not truly cleaned you saved but no evidence of the Holy Ghost don't even know what the Holy Ghost is and been in church 30 years .

No respect of Fear or Reverence for the Lord Most High God Just comfortably living with Lucifer walking side by side with you're co -existing with him and most of you are fine with it pray for deliverance so that you can pray for your children and their children and get a prayer through to God for salvation is crucial in this hour souls are important.

You see this war is for souls did you not know that every man or woman That hears God voice but answers not to the call and rejects God ' That man or woman is in danger for each man hold another man path to salvation within him .

We are either obedient to the call Many are called Chosen are Few or we simply deny the call of God therefore becoming a stumbling block for others around us Those in our paths those that we are suppose to reach but rather we we stand a the door of Hells fire for being the reason that people around us are not getting saved.

You better hear me and understand this is not a game of checkers this is Chess and God is playing for keeps so is satan because he knows his destiny and divine appointment with Hell

It is not about us It is about the KINGDOM OF GOD HEAVEN WHICH IS TO COME ALL ABOUT SAVING MEN SOULS FROM THIS SPIRITUAL WAR THAT WE ARE IN. HOW WILL GOD BE EVER ABLE TO SHOW YOU THINGS IN OTHER DIMENSIONS WHEN HE CAN'T EVEN SHOW YOU YOUR ERROR IN THIS EARTHLY REALM

YES WE ALL FALL SHORT AND DISOBEDIENCE COMES IN BUT WE ARE NOT TO REMAIN IN SIN WADDLING LIKE A PIG IN A PIG PEN FULL OF MUD. Without Deliverance we can't do anything effectively Lord wake us up from this deep slumber and sleep !

FATHER GOD IN JESUS NAME TO THOSE THAT ARE READING THIS AND THE MAY BE LOST RIGHT NOW FATHER MAY NOT KNOW YOU MAY BE ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL OR DRUG ABUSE OR ANY STRONG HOLD THAT HAS A GRIP UPON THEIR LIFE DELIVER THOSE THAT ARE TRULY SEEKING YOU FATHER THOSE THAT CALL ON YOUR NAME INTERVENE LORD YOU REBUKE THE DEVOUR OF ENEMY FOR THEM FATHER THAT THEY MAY BE DELIVERED FROM A STATE OF CONFUSION NO LONGER A MANIPULATED DEAD BUT AWAKE WITHIN THEM FLOWING LIVING WATERS FATHER IN CHRIST JESUS NAME AMEN!

WE ARE NOT IN A WAR AGAINST MEN BUT RATHER  THE EVIL SPIRITS THAT ARE WORKING THROUGH PEOPLE THIS IS MY TESTIMONY HOPE IT HELPED SOMEONE ALL EVENTS I HAVE STATED TO YOU ARE TRUE (TRUE EVENTS ) THERE WHERE WITNESSES TO IN MY HOME WHO SAW THESE THINGS THERE WHERE WITNESSES INT HE CHURCH AS WELL WHY THIS IS THE PATH THAT MY LIFE TOOK I QUESTION NOT ALL I KNOW IS THIS AND I KNOW IT WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT

John 8:36 “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

SO IT’S OK IF YOU LOOK AT ME DIFFERENT READING THIS BLOG.                  MANY SOULS ARE IN BONDAGE AND CAPTIVITY AND ARE IN NEED TO BE SET FREE AMEN.  JESUS CAME TO SEPARATE WITH A SWORD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS HE DID NOT COME TO BRING TOGETHER BUT RIGHTFULLY DIVIDE AMEN.

Matthew 10:34 King James Version (KJV)34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 

We are working on a autobiography & book on the supernatural  new music  If in the will of God amen. Our Ministry is without walls Is preparing for  summer  of 2018 we will be Ministering the Gospel, Food Ministry to the homeless , Clothing Ministry , Deliverance Ministry FULL CIRCLE GLORY MINISTRIES  Prophetess Sonya Lorraine                                                                         

[herotheshiro]

ok so i’m gonna actually write out a post instead of reblogging and commenting bc i expect to go a little longer than i have patience for via tagging. EDIT: ok yes this did end up becoming a monster of a post. i apologize to those who actually try to read this/manage to read the entire thing

so this manga is called will you marry me again if i am reborn, it’s abt a couple who meet when they are 5yo and 9yo respectively (if i remember correctly, i just know their age diff is 4 yrs) and they basically have feelings for each other from day one so they get engaged at 26 and 30yo (synopsis basically of ch 1 lol). the manga consists of basically one-shots covering both the mains’ experiences growing up together and the experiences of the fam/friends around them. (i say one-shots bc the “story” usually gets resolved in 1 ch, there technically is a linear plot connecting the chapters but the main meat of the ch is usually not covering that plot specifically but rather talking abt things that come up due to that plot. this makes more sense if you actually have read the manga)

classic me decided to look this up on a whim despite having schoolwork to do after seeing it while going through my IG saved (i had seen this manga at least a yr or so ago but never looked it up) and damn ngl i was expecting it to be a one-shot but nah it’s 4 volumes and ongoing .......

at face value, i do like this manga ... the main couple is sweet and i’m weak to cute scenes, the women in this manga are badass and physically and emotionally wrecking havoc (not in a bad way, just like in a headstrong way) while the men weep (not like in an abuse way, just like they’re uselessly crying abt stuff), and i think the way the manga covers the history of this family/related ppl is interesting (i.e., it’s not a completely linear way, like 1 ch is this person. now the next ch is their mother. now the next ch is their father, etc etc). this manga does take place in japan in the 40s though, so note some social things still remain despite the switching of stereotypical gender roles (e.g., everyone is married at 25-30yo. like i kept getting caught up on this one like ‘why the fuck is every character married. like chill, you don’t gotta be married--oh wait nm i forgot back then ppl tended to get married p fast/early’).

on that note. probably my biggest complaint with this manga though is (spoiler) the pairing of chizuru and toyokichi. who have an age gap of 7yo and 32yo (AT STORY INTRODUCTION. thankfully they don’t get together/are really romantically involved until later but hold on let me say what i want to say first before i go into that). that’s right, what i thought was a joke premise (‘a pathetic man like you is still single rn? well i’ll let you marry me once i become of age if you’re still alone’) was NOT actually a joke bc later chapters reveal that they did get together as adults. which is FUCKED UP !!! like sure i feel like there are het couples irl who have huge ass age gaps and these relationships are for the most part accepted (or tolerated) then in the 40s and even now but that is so fucking weird that this man 25 yrs a girl’s senior still for whatever cursed reason married the girl in the end. (like legit. when the girl said that statement above, the man was like ‘damn i’d be committing a borderline CRIME if i did that’. not in a romanticized way though, like he was weirded out and that is so damn sad that i feel the need to clarify that. i have read too much shit and unfortunately some ppl do like that) 1. i don’t understand why ppl need to pair up all of their mains/introduced characters so bad. like... if needed it’s ok to introduce a side character who doesn’t get much focus. you don’t need to pair everyone up ages be damned; 2. the acceptance of such shit ... idk. i’m not saying older generations are all necessarily fine with such age gaps but also idk if maybe that shit just flies with older ppl and it’s not a big problem (i say that bc the adults in the story don’t really seem to be saying much abt it). then again, i haven’t seen what their getting together story is yet (we’ve only been seeing them together as they are in present time aka as adults) so idk if maybe ppl were against it but they still got together but man. that shit rubs me the wrong way.

as of right now, the ongoing story is focusing on the effect of ww2 on the mains’ and their families. tbh i was kind of surprised at how this story turned into a war story; i mean it’s to be expected if your story is in the 40s, i think most stories around the world that take place in the 40s HAVE to talk abt ww2 bc it’s not really something that can be glossed over easily since it really did impact daily life so much. but also i didn’t expect it ... i don’t really enjoy reading war stories, not only are they sad to read sometimes but also i feel like sometimes it’s glamorized to some degree. i don’t feel like this manga glamorizes it but i’m gonna be real i’m always kind of uncomfortable bc i’m used to hearing/reading abt nationalistic depictions (aka “hell yea go [insert native country], we are the best and fuck everyone else. also look at our causalities, we deserve to fight the other side for doing this to us”) and i never know if the author is suddenly gonna go in that direction. based on what’s been presented i don’t think it’s gonna veer in that direction but yeah.

otherwise, i think this manga is a cute read. it’s well-written enough that i kept going despite the hiccup covered 2 paragraphs ago, and i think emotional parts are handled relatively well. i think the characters are enticing for the most part, however i do feel that characters get paired up too fast (or the implication that they’re gonna get paired up). i understand that many of the characters’ stories are really only covered in 1 ch so you gotta just pair them up quickly, but for example the burned eye girl and the ex-yakuza ... i wish they hadn’t INTRODUCED the burned eye girl as being romantically interested in the latter even if it is true esp since their story is ongoing and wasn’t just limited to 1-2 chapters. like i get there’s history and we’re looking at “present day” where she’s head over heels for him but like ... idk. i’ve never been a huge fan of stories where it’s basically stated outright ppl have feelings for one another, like tangent but that’s why i didn’t really like j*son x p*per from the HoO series (i never finished this series btw lol. i think i only read up to h*ouse of h*des and even then i’m unsure if i even finished that book) bc they were basically introduced AS a couple and i’m like bro i barely know these characters, let me figure them out first before i pair them together. yes they took a break for a bit bc j*son literally lost his memory but all of their interactions from early on were then romantic to some degree as a result and i’m like bro. (on the other hand, that’s why i liked h*zel x fr*nk better. yes i believe fr*nk was introduced as having a crush on h*zel but i feel like their early development was relatively separate. also i’m censoring everything bc i don’t want the risk of pj0 ppl coming at me) i’ve also only been reading BL recently so i’m like ‘damn ok too many het pairings and not enough lgbtq content’; i mean it’s the 40s but also gay ppl weren’t invented afterwards or anything lol (that’s sarcasm. supposed to be a reference to that one tumblr post i saw where they’re like ‘we can’t have black ppl in this period piece’ ‘what, were black ppl not invented yet?’)

next paragraph despite same point bc these paragraphs are literally becoming walls. but while i think it’s cute, i prob won’t be actively following. i feel like it’s pretty standard fare for genres/topics like this despite the more unconventional storytelling. it’s relatively well done but there’s not really much new grounds being covered with this story so i don’t feel particularly inclined to pay strong attention. now that i’m at the end of this review, i’d just like to say godDAMNIT (spoiler) kenji died, and the irony hurts that kenji was like ‘kind ppl like you will die in war’ but then he ended up dying bc of his own kindness towards toyokichi ... i mean i knew he was gonna die, that’s just how the story was going but also damn it ... also if main guy’s older bro doesn’t personally meet main girl’s older bro in the story ... wtf. everything is pointing towards that happening

[iimmcrtalis-archive]

DA verse

a summary post of all my active muses verse(s) in dragon age because i’m f EELING IT BOYS. except terry for rn bc it’ll be Hard. one day. gonna try and go in a from least knowledge bout their verse to extensive knowledge of ‘em so. ayy

this is a pretty long post i apologize to those on mobile!!

Nova; mage(???), human ( ? ), possibly a distant noble

probably a mage? because blue space magic is her jam. though she’s actually more of a combat & tech. she was like well rounded in that regard so i’m considering iunno??? battlemage maybe w/ lockpicking who knows. she’s a sneaky mage that can stab u real good.

would probably also assume she’s pretty good as inquisitor because she would treat it as her role and thing she still has to bare and takes it seriously. like nova is no nonsense as inquisitor but absolute nonsense when she’s not playing that role lmao. 

Morgan; mage?? human af ye. defo a noble blood t BH. 

i unno man. iunno. is he a mage? yeah probably. would he be a legit battlemage + arcane warrior? probably. Would i say he uses a real sword? pro b ab ly. like listen he’s a beefy mage who wears normal armor and probably looks like a fckn non mage but bOOM SUDDENLY LIGHTNING FROM HIS HAND W H AT 

iunno he’s a mage and he’s aggressive as FUCKKKK. aggro as fuck. probably sides withhh iunno both he’d want both and think it’s wasted potential to only have one lmao. iunno he’s hard to figure out man. he’d ultimately probably be like templars because actual ppl who know how to fight. but also wouldn’t wanna condemn the mageS??? so who knows who knows. 

anyways he probably likes blackwall and the iron bull and viv and cass?? and just ye. chills w/ them a lot probably. probably would flirt w/ cass tho god. butw/e no he’s uhhhh real aggressive as a fckn inquisitor like every body getting beheaded. except a few probably.. he would probably make uh... whats his name... tranquil tbh. worse fate than death that yes he would wish on his enemies bc otherwise they get what they want & too risky otherwise. 

Igne; old af elf, probably an assassin combo w/ magic??

like listen if you tell me that they can’t be both ima fckn punt u bc really that’s dumb. defeats the point of multiclassing in the fantasy genre of g am es. anyways really tho they’re old. old as balls. probably? iunno. probably served like... andruil for a while or somethin! got a lil lil corrupted but didn’t want it and wanted freedom so they were like FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUTTIE 

how’d they live? no idea. not a single clue bc i just don’t know jackshit bout ancient elf shit anymore (when did i ever) but honestly. it’s probably a thing right? old af elves everywhere. but no no they’d probably even annoy sera bc like they’re literally?? nonsense. violent af nonsense. hanging off a roof with a fckn potato in their mouth & lookin ready to murder. 

it’s a look™  but nah thinkin that u hhh corruption shit is probably what gave them a red eye ayyy

inquisitor igne is like dagger eyes at solas but doesn’t snitch on him ever not even once. she’s got his back man. she’d be like cool i’ll plaY BOTH SIDES SUre. sure. no mercy run on ppl tho god 

EVELYN / ISENE; old af elf. got that fckn combo again

it’s a theme really, combo classes. all my muses? multiclassed fuckers.  for a detailed everything, please refer to her old blog bc this is gonna be a stupid summary of it so ayyy.

old as dicks dude. lost her arm in the rebellion, against the rebellion. served elgar’nan because he fits her the most tbh. still sort of serves him i guess. like if he showed up she wouldn’t hesitate to follow his orders is what i mean here. otherwise she keeps up the facade of being a former dalish elf mercenary. and definitely doesn’t shy away from admitting she’s got magic. never calls herself a mage because  like lmao 

she has a fckn big ol sword she carries around one handed? and if ur like UR JUST A MAGE she’s gonna use said big ol sword to chop ur head off. not a fan of modern mages tho lmao. at all. like not a lot of sympathy for them. but she would also just kick a circles door in and be like cool leave gtfo you weaklin lil fucks jfc go learn somethin. 

would fight solas in a denny’s parking lot at 2am if she knew jack shit. but she really doesn’t so she’s like ur weird and i dont trust you  butyeah lm ao

Eludysia; ngl i unno if she’s old old but she’s Old. Old seer lady. 

honestly i think she’s not gonna have much of a da verse in general but it exists enough that i feel like i should cover it here. but essentially she’s an old elf seer in rivain. leader of a port side town. No chantry or qunari around its a lot of elves tho. refugees and what not from kirkwall and stuff. 

i unno if she’s an ancient elf but i know she’s old. like real old. so who knows

if she is ancient she probably woulda been like a priestess to ?? falon’din or dirthamen??? because seer shit but like even in a current state she’s fairly devoted to on e o f them or both? probably both lmao. so it’s w/e. 

she’s the former keeper of the clan revas got sent to, which is where revas’ mom is also from and how she gets to that clan. but she was keeper of the clan for like.. a long time like a long time. like that bald fuck from da:o  but without plaguing people with a curse. iunno how she did it but magic and better than that shit. 

more important if revas is inquisitor because lmao she’d probably be like.. welp im gonna come guide you?? probably.   shit she’s probably like emerald knights old tho shit but no fuckin!!! probably comes to be an advisor. 

i think if u go revas as commander/advisor or inquisitor in a thread eludysia’s probs gonna show up and be like sup  but otherwise she’s mainly just a contact in rivain for info and resources!! no special quest or anything u can just contact her for stuff. 

Warren; half-elf, half-qunari. big man w/ a bow.

&& a thick af accent let’s be real here. 

i haven’t made a post about his shit yet so! this one might be a lil longer!! 

grew up in/around starkhaven. in an alienage somewhere really! but he’s got that starkhaven accent. probably just fumbled his way there because honestly he got fucking ditched by his people and has no idea who his parents are lmao. just knows his mom died during child birth and he was fuckin cursed essentially via his?? clan or something. that qunari bit of him is real obvious as his horns grew out and probably had a harsh life in an alienage. 

because he’s not an elf. but he’s not human. and he’s not a qunari. so he’s just. him. 

eventually falls in with some ppl who teach him to steal. so he does a lot and then gets busted and they fckn break his horns off and chop his ears!!! and throw him the fuck out. as you do. but they taught him to use a bow so he’s good with that. and knives. good at close quarters and a long range.

gets better with a bow. real top knotch stuff. ends up in a mercenary crew (same one as qunari inquisitor? probably.) enjoys his merc lifestyle ya know has a good time killin shit 

anyways. companion warren is p much like ‘Strength & force.’ because he has no tact and doesn’t care about politics. like one day i’ll have his approval / disapproval shit. but today is not that day.

but the same applies to his inquisitor shit. he’s fucking brutal as an inquisitor. cares about the little people but FUCK the rich. takes the well for himself ( tho if i would also say revas is there bc i can and she’d take it) but generally just!! give him power and let him kill shit!! that’s all he cares about. tho he wouldn’t kill samson or calpernia bc he doesn’t see them as enemies or villains truly? just pawns in a big scheme and he’d probably stare corypheus in the face and be like get fucked you saggy fuck 

he’s great, great guy. 

Revas: Keeper. Dreamer. Dalish elf. 

literally like most people know Revas’ Dragon Age basics!! but if you don’t i’ll just direct you to her old blog, so you know what’s up.  i’ll put it into a summary the best i can tho! 

Backstory: short and simple? #fucked.  expanded? she was born to the lavellan clan to one of the head hunters & warriors. ended up having magic so she was sort of training to become second, or first, till her moms old clan was like hey we need a new first so uhhhh help us out. and they traded some goods and revas went on her way. ended up being a fucked up situation where the previous first was murdered by two clanmates who eventually tried ( and did) murder revas but she came back bc lmao spirit help & ended up killing them and leaving for her actions.

Dragon Age: Awakening:  full page about it Takes place shortly after this event happened. she lived on her own for awhile, protecting people as much as she could from darkspawn during the blight. ends up going to the wardens because someone doesn’t appreciate her help since she’s a Mage.     The choices made by the warden in regards to her effect how she becomes a warden and the rest of the timeline. Sort of a branch off feel. highly recommend taking a look at the page and also this post. 

DA 2:  If not in the Awakening verse, Revas travels around to the clans. becoming a traveling keeper & helping the clans the best she can. As well as finding ruins and exploring man memories from lost objects. Eventually finds her way to Kirkwall to actually speak with Merrill. But some other shenanigans play out and some stuff goes down. Ends up helping in the fight at the end and leaving with Zevran ( @allurfavesrqueer‘s zevran only lmao. )

DA:I     Companion: Shows up in fereldan with some tree peeps. gets some elvhen shit. offers her services to the inquisition bc that’s what her spirit told her to do. and ya know real fucky. shares some approvals as solas but usually has some pretty contrasting opinions on things! Will defo take on the role of like older sibling or sibling figure with the inquisitor if they’re close enough. Be kind to elves & mages and you’re good.  ( also she’s an option to take the well if the inquisitor doesn’t want it) 

   Advisor: Takes up an offer by the inquistor to become an advisor which is more or less her using her network with the elves around the countries to do certain objectives and what not. acts a bit like an ambassador for the elves & mages in the meetings to give them a voice and remind the human board of trusteeeess that they’re fucking not the only ones around :)) 

  Commander: Mainly with @desiderrium‘s Cullen. Basically Revas takes over for Cullen? at his request kinda because she’s like what the fuck you’re whAT. and gets pissed at everyone else for keeping him on when he’s Not Okay even if she’d rather kick his teeth in 99% of the time. why revas take over? because she’s actually p fuckin qualified, gestures vaguely towards being a first and the advisor au. like she knows how to lead ppl so ayy. 

  Inquisitor: Same ish backstory happens except her parents died to the blight and she left the clan for the other and ye same shit happens. but the clans ask her to go check shit out for them and shes like of course and gets caught up in the mess so. 

ALRIGHTY !! 

so that got long but yea!! hopefully this is a more condensed version of stuff and good for reference later.