#i couldnt pick just 5 so have 10 instead lol

[starlightkun]

HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE ADHD AS WELL?! I JUST STARTED RITALIN THIS MONTH HOLY SHIT

Its crazy finding out so many people I admire have adhd as well. A youtuber i watch (jessica kellgren fozard) also found out she had adhd recently and i also found out that park bom has it and ive always felt really connected and sympathetic of her struggles. I guess since our brains all function similarly, we probably found the way others with adhd talk and present themselves easier to understand and more relatable even if we had such different lives and interests. It makes me feel less alone and really protected knowing that there are successful and lovely people who have succeeded without sacrificing any of the traits in myself which I used to hate and instead outwardly projecting and celebrating it as part of them.

It makes me feel really hopeful for the future since ive been surrounded by so many really driven and successful people at school and was beating myself up for things that I didnt know was adhd.

p.s. im so happy that adderall is working so well for you, im starting at low doses of ritalin at the moment and was facing quite a bit of side effects which were quite tough but you being so happy with your results makes me more optimistic and excited about continuing this process.

-✨anon

omg i love jessica kellgren-fozard! and yeah, i was technically diagnosed w adhd in 2017 but my psychiatrist never actually told me or (allegedly) my mom. and my psychologist at the time looked me in the eyes and told me i dont have it. but i've been struggling a lot recently with just doing daily functioning tasks, and i've related to ppl w diagnosed adhd for so long i've always suspected i had it?? so i recently requested my medical records from my old adolescent psychiatrist and literally first session in 2017 she diagnosed me w adhd primarily inattentive type. and just didn't fucking tell me. so i finally got a new psychiatrist and he was like "oh yeah lol let's get u on some adderall rn wtf"

yesterday was just day 1 on the lowest adult dose tho and i am having some side effects (suppressed appetite, sleep disturbances) but they're pretty manageable imo. im used to a depressed appetite from another medication so i have strategies for nutrition like this, and hopefully that and the sleep will even out after a little while (even if they dont, it's worth it imo. like i simply cannot keep living like i have been. i had a cardboard box from an online order sitting on my living room floor for 5 months bc i just. couldnt pick it up for some reason. i didnt have the pick-up-the-cardboard-box button in my brain. for 5 months. but yesterday i threw that out and cleaned my whole kitchen easy peasy.)

i really hope you get your medication sorted out! i know the struggles of adjusting meds, and side effects, and switching, and the like (i think i've tried like 10? for my chronic migraines in 2 years) and ik it can rlly suck :// but i wish you the best!!! we've got this!

[nesurii]

MY TOP 5 10 HATS req by @feedcowplant​

1. felt hat by simtone 2. daydreamin cap set by pralinesims 3. cinamoon hat by candysims4 4. simlish beanie by buckgrunt 5. cheetah hat by forthesimculture 6. chain cap by waekey 7. palm tree hat by candysims4 8. beret by casteru 9. bucket hat by qwertysims 10. teddy hat by biffybobs

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[detective-gum-chew]

okay okay okay

i know this isnt an orginal idea by any means but roleswap!narumitsu is just so good

so youll have to indulge me because this lives in my head rent free and i want to write it down concretely somewhere (also this gets LONG so ill pop a cut in here)

alright so:

1. at least in my writing of it, this is also a no-dl6/gregory lives au. but as well at that, miles and phoenix didnt go to school together

2. this means that there was nobody to defend phoenix at the class trial (yes i know the money stolen was edgeworths but shhh lets pretend it was someone elses, kay?) this lead to phoenix becoming not only bitter, but somewhat obsessive over the idea of punishing people that do wrong

(if someone can find that quote where phoenix talks about how he could have become a prosecutor because of the trial i will give u a gentle kiss on the forehead) 

3. Edgeworth was raised by Gregory and ends up becoming a defense attorney

4. in this, Von Karma goes down and Franzy is adopted by Gregory, and she assists Miles in his cases. (she can still have a whip, as a treat.)

5. anyway with that set up, lets get into some cases

6. Larry gets accused of Cindys murder, Miles defends with Franzy

7. Lets say Mia was in the crowd of that trial and decided to contact miles, seeing as he appears to be another uncorrupt lawyer and asks him for his help in taking down Redd White

8. He agrees, and she sets a time for him to meet at her office so they can talk. Mia then calls her sister and updates her on how shes going to recruit another person (Redd White hears this)

9. Much like the original case, Mia gets murdered, but this time, Maya isnt here to be blamed. Instead, its Miles himself, as the name that White heard over the phone (so basically we’re speed running to the “defend yourself in court” part)

10. the prosecutor today is Phoenix Wright.

11. but before that lets go into some backstory actually. Phoenix had encountered Mia previously during the Terry Fawles case. He had respected her as a peer, if not for just her determination and deductive skills. (After all, he was young at the time and solely focused on punishing the wicked) After Diego’s poisoning, he had briefly reached out for condolences

12. but anyway, Phoenix had distantly respected Mia, and now that she was dead, he was going to be tough on whoever he thought murdered her.

13. Miles proves his innocence, although it takes some baiting to get Redd White out of his building and actually into court. 

14. Wright is... not pleased about this, but theres not much he can do. His displeasure for Mias murder has shifted, but theres a new displeasure for Miles, the man who could beat him in court. (”well well well, you managed to save your own skin. But you should hope you get as lucky as you did in your next case”)

15. Next case! We know Miles is a steel samurai fan, so even without Maya it takes very little convincing for him to take the case. (Fran is not as amused but trusts her brother... enough.. to follow his lead)

16. Case proceeds mostly as normal, with Phoenix requiring Dee to re-do her testimony (maybe something deep within him still itches to put the true bad guy away, even if its harder than the accused)

17. I dont think Phonix would deliver the unnecessary feelings line, although there definetely is that moment in the lobby where hes like “hm. maybe you arent a bad person, but that doesnt mean i have to like you.”

18. and now, now now now, we finally get to the part where i somehow managed to put the most thought into. (for context it is nearly 2 am when i am writing this)

19. sleep schedule aside, you couldnt have thought i would made this WITHOUT some good angst, so here we go. case four is similarly structured to the original, but with an extra side of Phoenix angst.

20. Miles wakes up to Franzy shaking him. She points to the television. the news is on, but the voices are drowned out by a distant ringing as he stares at the image on the screen.

Famed Prosecutor Phoenix Wright Arrested For Murder

21. it just doesnt make sense. So he gets out of bed and into the closest clothes he can find and out the door with his sister in tow. He sits in the cold detention room, thinking about the other side of the glass.

22. Phoenix Wright looks dull. He asks what they want. Miles says he wants an explanation. Wright sneers and asks why. For some reason, that pisses Miles off. He slams his badge to the glass and Wright looks surprised.

“Do you know what this is? It’s my attorneys badge.”

“the badge doesnt mean youre a good lawyer.”

“Well Mr Wright, its 2-0, so i dont think you have any right to say that.” Miles glares at him and Wright sits back in his seat. He watches Miles for a long time.

“If im going to defend you, you need to tell me what happened.“ Wrights eyebrows shoot up and Franziska squawks at his side

“What do you mean defend him!”

“What she said.”

Miles narrows his eyes at Wright as he ponders to himself the answer. Why is he doing it? the answer comes to him. 

“Because i dont believe you did it.”

For all his snark, Miles cant bring himself to believe that the man in front of him would kill someone. Theres something about him, either in his eyes or the way he carries himself that makes the idea itself preposterous. Wright looks at him for a long time after he says it.

“Very well.”

21. Miles doesnt seem him until court, but at least he testifies. The next person up, a red head by the name of Melissa Foster, gives a testimony that seems airtight.

22. that is, until he looks over at Phoenix, who is pale as he looks at the woman on the witness stand. Phoenix catches his eye, and very carefully, very slowly, mouths one name.

Dahlia Hawthorne

23. (I really wish i could continue with the more narrative parts of this but im honestly running out of steam and ill get to the point lol. Maybe ill finish it later.)

24. Terry Fawles dies on the stand. Diego Armando falls into a coma. Dahlia Hawthorne walks free. Even after what happened to Diego, Phoenix is convinced he can do better. He sets up a meeting with Dahlia.

25. Doug shows up, trying to persuade him away from it, saying he overheard Dahlia’s plan to kill Phoenix when she arrives. Phoenix is cocky, and the pair fight. Doug gets shoved into the powerline. Phoenix, thinking him dead, panics and runs.

26. Dahlia, having overheard, goes back and finishes him off, drops some poison into his mouth perhaps. With an accidental death with a cause so obvious, nobody bothers to run blood tests (until Miles)

27. Its years later, and Phoenix gets a note that tells him they know what really happened to Doug. Phoenix arrives to a meeting place to find a dead body. He picks up the vial of poison almost absently. 

28. After all, Dahlia had gotten rid of Diego and Mia was dead. Now all she had to do was get rid of Phoenix

29. It plays out similarly to case four, with Phoenix being absolved of the first murder, then confessing to the old one. Miles has gone through the work to save his life once, that he cant not do it again.

30. but happy endings (ish) for all, with Phoenix being freed, Dahlia imprisoned and Miles having a better understanding of both him and Phoenix.

31. maybe more happens but we’re at bullet point 31 so its time to stop for now lmao. uh but yeah! roleswap au..... brainrot really.

[tchaikovskaya]

world’s most annoying petulant whining about stuff i know im wrong for not being more than satisfied with under the cut bc im the woooorst :)))

ok so i took the gre today and i did SUPER well, i took it last year w/o studying and got 160 V/ 163 Q, which happens to be like ~83th %ile for both of them. definitely not bad and served my purposes (i knew i only needed a 300 to get into my undergrad university’s masters program so i didnt bother with buckling down and studying lol) but i know/knew i could do better if i actually prepared for it. so this time i did, and every practice test ive taken has been like mid-low 160s for the verbal and almost never below 167 for the quant. i know theyre not a very faithful measure for the real test because the real thing has the difficulty adaptive scoring algorithm so i didnt reaaaally know what to expect. 

so test day arrives! i did well on both verbal sections, i wasnt agonizing over any of the questions tbh, it went fine. i had 3 quant sections which means one of them was experimental and didnt factor into my score, im almost certain it was the last section bc its difficulty level was generally normal after having a normal one first and a harder (adapted) one second. i am about 99.99% positive that i got every single question in the first quant section correct. i even finished with like 10 minutes left and went back and completely redid the handful of problems i thought were relatively difficult and confirmed my answer. and because of the adaptive difficulty method, since i did so well on the first section, the second section’s questions were ALL at least moderately hard. the jump in difficulty was honestly insane and it really flustered me lmfao.

so i basically ran out of time with 2 questions left, i had 30 seconds left when i finished the 18th of 20 questions. one of them was a question where you had to type in your answer, so i couldnt just pick a random answer choice and have a 1/5 chance of it being right. then i had 10 seconds left and i looked at the last question and it was a “select all choices that apply” question with a full paragraph of text so i was just like lol nope and clicked the answer in the middle thinking here goes nothing. and the section timer ran out and auto-closed the test section literally 1 second after that. so im guaranteed to have gotten at least one wrong, almost certainly at least 2, and most likely 3+ bc the preceding 18 questions were so difficult and time consuming to solve.

so... the tests ends and my scores pop up on the screen and.....

i got a 166.....?

the gre quantitative section’s grading curve is generally much less forgiving than the verbal section’s (i guess a disproportionate number of STEM people take the general gre test? idk) so missing 2 questions means your score drops by 2 or more points (usually more than 2 lol), and i’ll never know for sure thanks to how the adaptive scoring thing that i already mentioned works, but if i’d had time to actually attempt the last two questions and gotten them both right i most likely would have gotten a perfect 170 so lmfao fuck me :)))))

i know that sounds so annoying like boo fucking hoo i scored in the 92nd %ile instead of the 99th :((( woe is me! but its just frustrating knowing that i COULD have, yknow? i feel like if i had finished all the questions and felt good about it and gotten a 166 i’d be over the moon with that

honestly idk what scores i was hoping to get but i really just wanted to break 330, which i accomplished, and i was terrified that my scores would either stay the same or drop the 2nd time so deep down i know im definitely happy with it but :/ ugh

[jbuffyangel]

Is Buffy the first show that you fell in love with ? I mean where you couldnt wait for the next episode? What is your first cliffhanger where you couldnt believe that the writers did that, it was so shocking, that you remember till today , and you had to wait for a whole week, winter/ summer break to find out what comes next ?

Ooh good question. I always loved television even as a little kid. I would watch All My Children with my mom instead of Sesame Street. lol Buffy wasn’t the first show I loved but it was the first show I fell into a deep obsession over. I cannot describe to how deep this hole was y’all. I lived and breathed that show. I’m still a little amazed I graduated high school with high honors. Probably just out of pure terror my parents would take the TV away and the access to Buffy would be cut off. It was a strong motivator.

Here’s some of my all time best television shockers: SPOILERS

Pam dies: Dallas Season 10 finale  “Fall of the House of Ewing”

This was a traumatizing moment for me as a child. I thought the actress really died and my mom had to go over real versus fiction again. I was six.

Buffy sends Angel to hell:  BTVS Season 2 finale “Becoming Part 2″

I started watching Buffy live in Season 3, but a friend told me what happened in S1 & S2 to get me to watch. So, I knew Angel would go to hell BUT it was torture waiting all summer to see how they would bring him back.

Angel leaves Buffy: BTVS Season 3 finale “Graduation”

It was hell waiting for Angel’s spin off series to premiere. I was so freaking excited y’all have no idea.

Tommy dies: Arrow Season 1 finale “Sacrifice”

Half the Glades were destroyed and Tommy died. Well... what the hell Arrow?

Did he mean it? Arrow Season 2 finale “Unthinkable”

OF COURSE HE MEANT IT. Waiting for him to tell Felicity was torture though. Of course, I joined fandom that summer and had a blast with y’all waiting.

Felicity in the tax: Felicity Season 1 finale “Felicity Was Here”

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHO DID SHE PICK? Horrible summer. And then she picked wrong. UGH. Still mad.

Elena dies:  The Vampire Diaries Season 3 finale “The Departed” 

I WAS A WRECK. Sobbing hysterically. One of the best season finales ever and I was dying (pun intended) to see Elena as a vampire. I knew Stelena would break up and she would be with Damon, but I was excited to see a darker Elena. But the real torture was STEFAN DIDN’T KNOW ELENA CHOSE HIM. We had to wait all summer and could only imagine how she would tell him. 

Denny dies: Grey’s Anatomy Season 2 finale “Losing My Religion”

I still can’t talk about it. I will love you forever Denny Duquette. It was horrible waiting to see if McDreamy dumped Addison and if Meredith was going to pick him or Hot Vet Chris O’Donnell. Also, how does Izzie get her job back? 

George dies: Grey’s Anatomy Season 5 finale “Now or Never” 

I am hard to shock. Not to toot my own horn, but I get an inkling where shows are going a lot. There were rumors for awhile that TR Knight was leaving Grey’s, so when we found out in the episode George was joining the army that’s how I thought they were handling his exit. I was not remotely prepared for what happened next and I was DESTROYED. The summer wait wasn’t particularly difficult because even though we had to wait until S6 to find out he was dead, I knew TR Knight had left the show. But damn that episode blew my mind.

Sybil dies: Downton Abbey Season 3 Episode 5

I was spoiled on Matthew dying but I didn’t know about Sybil. I wasn’t prepared at all. Holy crap was I a wreck. It hit particularly hard because I developed pre eclampsia and I nearly died in childbirth, so yeah. Hitting on all emotional cylinders.

Lucy dies: ER Season 6 “Be Still My Heart and “All In The Family”

Listen y’all. ER was mandatory viewing. There were no spoilers available. You sat your ass down and watched with your family absolutely riveted week after week. But NOTHING will ever beat Carter and Lucy stabbed at the end of “Be Still My Heart.” It gave me nightmares. We had to wait a WEEK which felt like an entire three months for “All In The Family” and it was probably one of the scariest, most emotional hours of television I’ve ever watched.

Vaughn is what now?: Alias Season 2 finale “The Telling”

Sydney was missing for two years? Uhhhh come again? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A WEDDING RING VAUGHN? End credits. Cue my screaming.

“I take thee, Rachel”: Friends “The One With Ross’s Wedding Part One”

Ross said Rachel’s name annnnnd see ya next fall! I hate you Friends.

Down comes the wall: Game of Thrones “The Dragon and The Wolf”

I am clueless when it comes to Games, but I binged all six seasons and was spoiled on a lot of the really big shockers. So, Season 7 was my first season watching it live and y’all I’m dying for 8. Jon is the heir to the iron throne. Jaime  ditches Cersei and is going to be reunited with Brienne. All surviving Starks will be reunited. OMG APRIL 2019 IS TAKING FOREVER. How did y’all do this for seven years?

I binged Breaking Bad and West Wing otherwise I would have included them on the list too. I didn’t have to wait long to find out what happened next because I could just hit play but all the well known shockers blew my mind. Josh being shot and Zoey being kidnapped for West Wing. And basically everything that happened on Breaking Bad ever. I’m also binging Lost (NO SPOILERS) and I’m done with Season 3. Charlie’s death and Walt being kidnapped were big WTF moments. But I did figure out that it was a flash forward in the Season 3 finale. Yeah me!

[purplesurveys]

526

Where did your last kiss take place? My car. I was dropping my girlfriend off at her place. Who is someone you look up to? My friends who’ve been in rough patches more than once but still manage to keep on keeping on. I’m just grateful that we’re all still here. The police just called your house. What is the reason why? It would most likely be because something happened to either my sister or my grandma (mom’s mom).  Look to the left. What catches your eye first? A gray pillow, a part of the wall, and a window slightly covered by a curtain. What was the last thing you ordered at Mcdonalds? I got iced coffee and curly fries last week.

Are you thinking about someone right now? Nah not really, I’m mostly thinking about the slew of emails I have to answer lmao ADULTHOOD  How many fingers do you have? 10. Why is Myspace copying Facebook? I barely caught Myspace so I wouldn’t know. Current smell? I can just...smell what our house smells like. Homey. Current taste? I had adobo for dinner but the taste isn’t lingering in my mouth anymore. Who are you talking to right now? Just this survey. Are you dating anyone? If so, how long have you been together? Yes, three years. But if we count the on-and-off-ness, it would be five years in 2019 hahahaaaaaaa What is your ringtone? I have an iPhone so I have the default ding sound for everyone, but Gab has the Marimba tone so that I’d know if a text came from her in particular. Everyone also gets the default ringtone for calls, but I changed Gab’s to the Alarm tone for the same purpose. How old will you be in 5 months? I’d still be 21, just a little older. Where is your Mum right now? She’s watching TV upstairs with my dad. What do you like to drink in the morning? Collllld water. But if I’m a little sleepy, I like to rely on coffee. Name of your pet? Kimi. Would you rather be attacked by a bear or a swarm of wasps? I’d rather like not be outside tnx. Make a shout-out to somebody: To Gabie’s former schoolmate: I never met you nor did you ever know me, but I hope life on the other side is treating you well. What piercing/tattoos do you have? Just my earlobes have piercings. I don’t have any other, nor do I have tattoos. I’d probably get a tat of my dog’s paw, but I don’t know when that would be. Last television show you watched was called? Breaking fucking Bad. What colour is your hair? It’s black. Is it naturally that colour? Yep, never dyed it before. How was your summer? It was pretty awesome. I interned at a PR company for a month, which was super eye-opening and fulfilling and basically secured my desire to be in PR instead of journalism. It exhausted me though so I spent the entire next month just bumming at home, which I didn’t regret at all – I deserved that break haha.  Did you go away on Holiday? Yeah. There was a long weekend recently because one of the Mondays was a local holiday, so we went out of town for that. Do you believe there is life on other planets? Why or why not? Yes. The universe is unimaginably huge and there’s no way we’re the only ones who managed to fully develop out here.

You have to make a sandwich. What do you put in it? I Google banh mi and just take the ingredients from that. What is a word that rhymes with “Umbrella”? Tarantula? What were you doing at 10:30 PM last night? I think I was taking the last survey I took before this. Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone? Gabie, this morning. I wanted company for a bit while driving. Would you rather have a pet shark or a pet snake? Idk if keeping them is good for either animal, but I’m *KIND OF* not opposed to having a snake. Name the illegal drugs you have taken in the past 4 months: None. What kind of shampoo do you use? Just normal, good ol’ shampoo. If I say “Lemons” what would you say? Stream Lemonade on Spotify. Hot tea or iced tea? Iced. You are at Starbucks, what are you about to order? If I didn’t have to worry about budget? A grande iced caramel macchiato and a Monte Cristo sandwich. Who is the most beautiful person you know? Audrey Hepburn. Does pepper make you sneeze? Haha yeah, but only when I breathe or sniff directly into the shaker. Otherwise it’s fine. Do you miss anyone right now? I miss my girlfriend, my original friend group from my org (most have graduated and there’s like, 4 of us left still enrolled), and people from high school. Is there something blue within 10 feet of you? I’m wearing a navy blue hoodie at the moment. What colour is your bedroom painted? Do you want to re-paint it? White. I wish it were a very light pastel pink. What is in your pocket? Nothing. My ID was in it today but I’ve since taken it out. Arent you excited for the new Alice In Wonderland film to come out in 2010? I wasn’t. I didn’t see it. Hottest actor in your opinion? Kristen Stewart. You are making a film about your life. Who is starring as you? ^ Her, plz. Current song you are playing: Unconditional Love by Against Me! What was the last thing you put into your mouth? Coffee that’s gone cold. Where will you be within the next hour? I think I’ll be upstairs in my room by then. Ever wanted to tell someone something, but couldnt? Yes. I dunno if I’ll ever have the courage to tell Gabie I keep a Tumblr where I answer thousands of questions just about myself hahaha. I don’t know if she’ll get it, but I’ve been itching to tell her for a while now. Name 5 things you look for in a relationship: I’m a demi, so it really varies. I just have to have a close bond with the person, and the qualities would follow suit. What size is your shirt? Extra small. Extra extra small, if possible.  Is anyone getting on your nerves right now? LOL for a while now. Someone from the org who has never contributed to any of the projects we work on.  Who was the last person you held hands with? Gab. What did you eat for dinner? My dad made adobo wings for dinner. He was supposed to make like WINGS wings, but my mom suddenly texted him to pick her up, so he had to make something else on short notice. Adobo’s the easiest dish to make, so he whipped that at the last minute instead. What time is it currently? 9:32 PM. Do you know how to use chopsticks? Nah. Whenever I do, I 100% fake it. Trust me. When was the last time you went to the dentist? Couple of years ago, I think. If an ex said they hate you, what would you say? I don’t have any. Can you honestly say you would die for someone? With no hesitation. One wish: A big house.

[pidgezero-one]

does using a blogging site for #pastebinmonday defeat the purpose? who cares

speedrun PBs:

overall this has been a great year for me. i didn't meet all the goals i set at the start of the year, but some of them i became less invested in while developing others.

i achieved top 300 in super mario kart, which is a big deal for me considering the level of competition in that game developed over 19 years. pretty proud of that, and i know i have so much more potential to climb.

i'm pretty happy i got a bunch of people to run crystal caves for a while. i talk a lot of shit about my runs but my WR is actually not that bad. i think with the route i'm using i can save half a minute at most. i'll get it soon.

i got a time i'm somewhat happy with in smrpg any% and took a hiatus from that category. i started running smrpg most of the stuff and it quickly became bar none my favourite thing to speedrun. i almost have my time under 4 and a half hours, currently sitting at 4:31:56. that's wild considering how good i thought my 4:47 was, lol. i'm having so much fun improving my times and finding time saves and helping flesh out the route and all that. i also had fun routing Beat Culex and am going to return to working on that category soon. think it'll always be my favourite game.

dkc2 is hard but i'm enjoying learning it.

i'm very happy with my mario land 2 time. submitting to agdq for the first time and not seeing a wall of red was neat even if it is a lottery. i was only a backup runner but i know that my time being decent allowed for that. i'll grind this game again soon.

i dunno if im gonna return to EB pajama. i really liked the all sanctuaries routing, and it's obsolete now. we'll see.

current plans:

i haven't streamed much this week because i'm having capture card issues =( so instead i've been doing the following:

-uninstalling drivers from device manager and reinstalling over and over

-trying old drivers

-attempting to test in amarec, which crashes, bc the native software also crashes

-testing from usb ubuntu, which wouldn't load and started hanging when i tried to manually run casper

-testing from usb linux mint which worked, but i don't wanna change OSes

-forcefully installing an obsolete windows 7 update to bypass a sha256 error

-bricking my OS with the above step, unable to boot to command line or use system restore from repair disc

-taking the drive out of my laptop and using an old win7 install on a 3rd hard drive to copy my files on the dead drive to an empty partition on the laptop drive

-the copy operation froze up so i made a backup instead

-was able to unbrick my OS after all and deleted the backup

-deleting the empty partition and attempted to fresh install windows 7 on it

-turns out my optical drive isnt reading discs at all which explains why i couldnt run startup repair

-made a boot usb of windows 7

-saved an image of my OS to the empty partition

-reinstalled windows 7 on my drive

-swapped the pcie slots of my cap card and usb card

-tried very old drivers to flash the card which also hung when i let it run overnight

-card somehow flashed itself successfully after i uninstalled the drivers

-upgrading to windows 10 which i left running while i go to work

so yeah... this is an adventure lol. as soon as i can restore my OS i'll get back to streaming, speedrun calendar coding, and drawing your emotes

luckily there's plenty of stuff i can stream that doesn't need a capture card! until i can get game capture working again, i will likely be streaming the following:

-return to the Crystal Caves 1 any% grind! my standing WR has about 30 seconds of mistakes in it. would like to get that 22.

-maybe i'll pick up CC1 any% cheat codes... /maybe/

-got lots of smrpg science to do. i'm planning on documenting every timed hit in the game. i might stream this casually

-speaking of smrpg science, i'm planning on rerouting the Beat Culex category to skip pandorite, i might stream that too since i can do it mostly with web tools

offline i'll practice dkc2 and mario kart.

other speedrun stuff:

rpg limit break 2017 was a huge turning point in my "career". i'm very grateful i had that opportunity and did a good enough job with it. to this day i still have ppl contacting me on twitter to say how much they enjoyed my run. that's cool. i will be submitting smrpg most of the stuff to 2018.

doing a billion marathons was great. i love to entertain, i love to perform, despite being mildly antisocial irl lol. got to meet a lot of amazing people that way and have no regrets.

thank you everyone for the support this year, it makes it a lot more fun. it's still wild to me that ppl actively wanna watch me play video games

i don't know what marathons i'll be going to next year.

smash stuff:

i miss you guys so much you have no idea

good personal stuff:

holy crap guys i got really thin, im not sure if 160lbs is a good goal anymore. if i see my ribcage protrude too much more i'll stop lol

i'm still reeling from friday. if you don't know what happened friday, read this thread: https://twitter.com/pidgezero_one/status/941905358259408897 i love my friends so much and i'm very very lucky to have you guys in my life... i dont even have the words for what i was feeling during and after that

in case it wasn't obvious enough from that thread and also this https://twitter.com/pidgezero_one/status/942742039158018048, grats to everyone who suspected that i'm in love with mishrak! unfortunately i dont have a prize 4 u. but this is definitely why i've been in higher spirits lately, lol

is it too soon to fall for somebody again after my last relationship only ended 3 months ago? idk. you can't really control at what time someone amazing shows up in your life and steals your heart. but that's why the option of taking things slow is there. anyway he's great and i'm really really happy. this is also why idk what marathons i'll be going to in 2018 yet :)

selling all that stuff helped me a ton financially. debt escape will be soon hopefully.

im gonna start resuming language lessons soon. time to stop being lazy.

i put a bag of frozen shrimp and a canister of lawrys salt in my lunchbox today rofl

bad personal stuff:

i'm still hurting over losing my best friend. it's been almost 5 months now. i miss him so much every day. i never got any closure or real understanding, so i'm doing everything i have to do to not let it consume me anymore. this means i've left some of your discords and i'm sorry about that. i just wanted my life back and to not be overwhelmed with anxiety all the time. but i'm trying harder to just focus on the friends i have who never left my side and make me feel cared about and made me keep my head above water when i wanted to sink. thank you and i'm sorry i was absent and unreliable for a long time. i feel like i took the people who care about me for granted and i'm just trying to do better.

[radicalseabies]

top 10 anime ops, go

omg so i got this ask like 2 weeks ago or something, and this took hours of intense listening and deep thought and introspection, and then i went away to sydney for like 4 days and then i forgot about it. anyway, it pained me deeply to have to leave a couple out but here we go (in no real particular order… i think)

「Great Days」 - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable (OP 3)

*pointing to the sky* LET THE VOICE OF LOVE TAKE YOU HIGHER~

i love this OP so much. like, sooooo so much. all jojo OP’s are incredibly high quality affairs, but the first time i heard great days i literally felt like my life was changing, like i was having some kind of religious experience. it was just that good. it’s so upbeat, it radiates warmth and optimism, and it makes me feel so good to listen to, and that combined with the stylish and evocative visuals makes this hands down my favourite jojo OP, and one of my favourite anime OP’s of all time.

ambiguous - Kill la Kill (OP 2)

if i absolutely had to pick a favourite anime, id probably say kill la kill. it’s just so special to me. it’s so cool and wild and silly and over the top and so much fun. watching it each week is still to this day the most fun i’ve ever had watching an anime, and this OP is just such a banger. that part with ryuko and satsuki fighting, sending hundreds of one-star students flying everywhere, and eventually creating the logo out of debris and blood from their fight is one of the coolest title drops ive ever seen in an anime OP. this OP got me hyped up every time. still does.

Peace Sign - My Hero Academia (OP 2)

ohhWOAHH OHHohh, ohh OHH Ohh ohh, ohh OHH Ohhohh oohhhhh…oh my god i love this song. this song manages to encapsulate the tone, feel, and spirit of the series i love so much so perfectly, it actually blows me away. i really like the visuals too, theyre quite simple but effective, but the song is what really stands out to me here imo. OP’s will come and go as the series continues but in my heart Peace Sign will forever be THE theme of My Hero Academia. i dont have much else to say about it. this song fucking rules.

LAY YOUR HANDS ON ME - Kiznaiver

this anime ended up being only Okay in the end, tbh, tho i definitely enjoyed it. id give it like maybe a 7/10 overall. but holy moly, that OP tho!! this song is AMAZING and idk how to even describe all the feelings it stirs within me, and combined with the vibrant, kaleidoscopic visuals, this OP is simply breathtaking imo. 7/10 anime, 11/10 OP.

Hyadain no Kakakata Kataomoi/Joujou Yuujou - Nichijou

ok im cheating by including both nichijou OP’s in the one slot but u know what i DONT EVEN GIVE A CARE. nichijou is honestly the best anime ever made and it deserves it. i couldnt possibly separate its two OP’s, they’re a package deal tbh and they’re both the toppest of top tier. nichijou is love, nichijou is life.

Flyers - Death Parade

EVERYBODY, PUT YOUR HANDS UP, SAA FLYIN’, TSUBASA NI NAREholy hell this song is a bop. a show this sad had no business bopping this hard in the OP and yet it does and its fantastic. enough said, really.

Soundscape - Hibike! Euphonium (2nd season)

who expected such a down-to-earth drama abt a high school concert band would have such an absolute banger of an OP?? the first season of eupho was one of my favourite animes of 2015, so to have the highly anticipated 2nd season a year later kick off with such a fun, high energy OP just got me so dang excited!! also worth mentioning is at the beginning of the season, the OP is presented mostly in black and white, but after they win the competition and get to move onto nationals at the end of ep 5, it gets changed in the next episode onward to be completely in full, vibrant, beautiful kyoani colour, and it just made me so !!!!… ya. good stuff.

99 - Mob Psycho 100

no jokes this might actually be the best OP ever made tbh. it’s a 100% fucking masterpiece in every way. going into detail abt everything that makes this one so good would make this post like 3 times longer than it already is. its JUST THAT GOOD. 

THE HERO!! - One Punch Man 

ONE PUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNCCHHHH

i really dont have much to say abt this one other than it’s hands down one of the most bangerest bangers of all time. i know it, you know it, we all know it. one punch man is getting a 2nd season, and i simply cannot fathom it having an OP better than this. they may as well just reuse it instead of trying to live up to it.

Sorairo Days - Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

Mark my words. This drill will open a hole in the universe, and that hole will become a path for those behind us! The dreams of those who have fallen; the hopes of those who will follow! These two sets of dreams weave together into a double helix, drill a path towards tomorrow! That’s Tengen Toppa! That’s Gurren Lagann!! My drill is the drill THAT CREATES THE HEAVENS!!!

and then the chorus kicks in!! chills of hype every time!! i can’t believe i almost forgot to include this one, despite being so iconic of my life and having such fond memories of it. 

and there u have it. if you’ve been following me long enough or just know me well enough, there’s probably basically ZERO surprises here lolol, but shrugs, y’know?? i’m pretty transparent abt what i like LOL.

[queenmabscherzo]

I wanna send you asks, but I just finished a show and I'm sleep deprived, so imma just send random number and hope they're good questions. 6, 8, 33, 45

6. how did writing change you? i have answered this before and said “it didnt” which is still true, but i’ll say that getting back into fanfic has only made me 1000% happier so 10/10 would recommend just have fun and post ur nonsense fam

8. what time are you most productive? it fluctuates! it used to always be late at night, like 11 pm-1 am. but i recently finished my fic for the sam wilson birthday bang, and at least half of it was written in the mornings. not early but like, before lunch (except that one time i couldnt sleep so i got up at 5 and wrote a whole chapter #shrugemoji)

33. alternate ending for [insert story title]: i suspect you were “supposed” to pick the story for this so i’ll just do a few ........ Targeting: i left the door open a long time and almost had bucky go to the hospital after the championship and had steve/isaiah/sam visit him there. also considered a bar fight before the natl champ game, which involved bucky taking the fall and sam having to sneak out ....... but that would have been so difficult to justify, they def would have been suspended for the game. which is why it got axed/reworked. The Lonely Harbor: the dwarves all settling down in Dale, instead of sticking with the pirate thing... Music is Good to Hear: the obvious, the alternative, is that Dean moved and they did the long distance thing. i left that one open for myself for a long time, too. i still like both possible endings lol.

45. Share the synopsis of a story you’ve worked on but haven’t published yet: OH PERFECT TIMING!!!! I post my Sam Wilson Bday Bang fic on THURSDAY! (SHAMELESS SELF PROMO!) the Official Summary: 

In 2014, Captain Wilson recognized the Winter Soldier as his long-dead partner, Riley Reyes. In 2016, Hydra, Crossbones, and the Winter Soldier all resurface at the same time, and everything explodes in Sam's face--literally and figuratively.

The UN proposes a Superhuman Registration Act. Crossbones complicates things; Misty has a decision to make; Sam and Rhodey butt heads. Meanwhile, Riley rants about another Winter Soldier in Siberia.

[just-keep-breathinggxx]

ayyo whats up

I haven’t been feeling like posting daily recently soz. this past week has been a bit crazy for me. i’ve been logging on mfp of course tho. convenience in just logging weight and calories rather than my day’s events and emotions. the point of this is to see trends in my emotions and eating habits bc duh emotional eater here. ig starting where i left off. Monday my parents left for a 5-day hike, so i was left to my own devices for a while. Tues June 4 I was pre-occupied with trying to schedule my weekend and somehow still go to a twenty one pilots concert. I hit the 1200 cal limit (just over actually) mostly bc I had potato salad for dinner and chocolate chip cookie from wawa left over from the day before. Again, its all about convenience... maybe i should start meal prepping so its “grab n go” convenience all week. Anyway Wed June 5 I was able to snag top pit ticket for about $50 which is hella cheap (face value was $100) and sold my tix for the AC show (for below face value, but enough to pay for my other ticket). I was able to fast til the afternoon. Went to Sorrentino’s for a high fat Porkroll and Cheese sandwhich and got half a turkey and cheese sub for later. Also drank a sugar-free 8oz redbull on the way to newark and a bud light tall boy when i got there. Only ate half of my half sub so what that’s like 3 inch sub? quarter of a whole sub? Anyway my calories for Wed was under 1000. Thurs June 6 I woke up starving so ate the other half of my turkey sub for breakfast. I didnt eat again all day til like 7 pm. I really gotta stop going to wawa bc I always end up getting a milkshake and cookie with my sandwich (chicken bbq strip hoagie = 520 cal) which always sends me over 1200 cal. Didn’t eat the cookie though bc 16 oz milkshake is a struggle enough to finish on its own. all in all 1400 cal. Fri June 7 i did okay. Sometimes I dont feel hungry in the morning, and sometimes i’m ravenous when I wake up. Luckily it was the latter. I just had some coffee and did barn chores all morning. I ate the cookie for lunch though (convenience). I knew I had a busy day coming up on Saturday, so I went to Walmart last minute for a few things. Walked down the frozen dinners aisle cuz i knew I wouldnt have the time or energy for making dinner that night. Got one of those one serving Fit Bowls (Stouffer’s Beef with Brocolli). I hate how high in sodium they are though. I got Tollhouse cookie dough while I was there so I had cookies to bring to Jessie’s party the next day. ngl I had like a spoonful or two which is essentially a cookie or two in itself... Without the cookie dough Friday was 862 cal according to mfp. Sat June 8 I started out the day strong but mostly bc I knew I was gonna party moderately hard that night lol. Parents came home around 2am, which I had to let them in for. I had coffee when I got up later around 7 and went to Joe’s walkathon at Allaire. They had all kinds of snack foods spread out for the walkers. Sometime before we started, I had a small generic granola bar. After the walkathon I had to rush to get to Jessie’s new place for the housewarming party. Ya know, I never thought about how many calories are in beer let alone an IPA, otherwise I wouldve stuck to something lighter. Picked up a 6 pack of Dogfish Head cuz I couldnt find any Long Trails. Idk If I had the whole thing or not (blacked out around 4/5 beers lol). Hey, dont judge I literally only ate a tiny granola bar and a hotdog when I got there and im already a light-weight. I also couldnt pass up the cookies I made when I walked past them from the bathroom lol. I remember having two and mentally telling myself no more. Yesterday Sun June 9, I woke up kinda hungover. Dad asked if I wanted something from Sorrentino’s and i knew a Porkroll and cheese would help my hangover. Mom ditched to flipflop the longtrail again. I felt like shit from what I’d been putting in my body this past week and sorta fell down an *d rabbit hole on youtube and was sorta influenced to fast. So, yesterday, that was all I had. Lots of coffee and a breakfast sandwich. 637 cal. Today Mon June 10, Dad asked if I wanted to go to Sorrentino’s for breakfast. Tbh I woke up simultaneously straving and nauseous (hmm wonder why lol). So I agreed but instead of something heavy and carb loaded, I did the “no carb” platter. Scrambled eggs and bacon, hold the homefries and toast. I think if I do get hungry later today, I’d just have some tea and be good. Hopefully my dad won’t invite me to dinner with him and Susan later. My weight has been fluctuating around 145-147. Also forgot how much clothing can weigh ( about 2 lbs) bc I weighed myself in just my bra and underwear at 144.3 lbs after breakfast. Problem is, its my parents scale in their bathroom so normally when they’re not in I just dash in there (no shoes of course, but still clothed) and weigh myself. So, I put my clothes back on and weighed in at 146.3 lbs. Week average of 145.8 lbs. Honestly not complaining too much cuz that’s still down 3.2 lbs since I started two weeks ago. If i keep fasting and maybe doing omad I can get below 140 a few weeks.