#i couldnt help myself but cringe at some parts

[mondglocke]

I don't know WHY, but till the end of the episode i totally believed we would see the Gullet (and Jace) go down in the Finale. Even just seeing an arrow fly through the Sky during the battle, a fade to black after seeing Jaces Face, foreshadowing of what WILL happen at the start of S3 would have been enough for me. I thought it would start and end with the death of a Son😭

[castlebyersafterdark]

secondhand embarrassment is so real! i usually have quite a high bar for cringe, because i find embarrassment as an emotion really fascinating. interviews i love love love, but my limit was those little fanmio zoom online meet and greets? when i was deepdiving ST interviews i tried watching some of finn's meet and greets fans had recorded, and already i was uncomfortable because paying dollars to meet someone you admire who has no idea who you are is not something i can relate to. but i pushed through as an experiment because finn had also said he used these meets to help with his anxiety, so it seemed like both parties were getting something interesting out of the scenario rather than just celebrity/money/promo related, you know?

finn kept looking to someone off screen and it made me wonder if it was family there for moral support, or if he was doing it as part of his anxiety therapy. but he would often look so nervous and literally be shaking so much he could barely speak and it was so.... i dont know. not sad, because its brave. but so unusual. i had honestly never encountered a situation like it. he wasnt nervous like at a red carpet, understandable in its intensity, but he was in his own place and doing this thing out of choice, and yet that doesnt mean anxiety is any easier to manage, you know? he was unrecognisable though. i wondered if the fan should even have uploaded the video because it seemed so intimate and personal, but half of them couldnt even recognise how he was presenting/feeling because they were so excited to meet a hero. but it was like witnessing someone pushing their personal limits to the max and it was just so humbling and odd, i could barely watch but i just appreciated this man so much more afterward.

and ofc there were some hilarious moments where the fans spent literally the whole two minutes screaming with delight in his face, which makes me laugh but also makes me so uncomfortable and angry and also sad hahahaha.

a rollercoaster tbh, i had to have a stiff drink after watching only like 10 mins of footage hahaha

Oh no, poor boy!! That genuinely sounds like a nightmare to me but aww that he was most likely using that to work through his anxiety issues. I can totally relate to that though, it's so difficult. I consider myself to be quite an extroverted person, but I've always struggled with massive anxiety. Even posting here, sometimes I'll hit post and I'll literally look at how overly wordy and excitable I was and feel slightly nauceous? So weird, but I get him. So, more power to him for trying!!! Especially since he works in an industry where its unavoidable.

Even if I absolutely know I couldn't sit through those interview/meet and greet videos oh boy 🫣 still respect him for trying it and powering through, and these days he seems a bit more comfortable in his skin. Growth. Comes with age, learning yourself more and more. Know that life. I guess I'm just highly sensitive to awkwardness because I then start to feel anxious if other people are obviously uncomfortable.

[kfairies]

temptation ; part 2 ; miguel o'hara smut

PLEASEEE SCROLL DOWN FOR PART 1 -

PLEASE BLAZE , like ,etc! IT TOOK A LOT TO MAKE THIS WITHOUT CRINGING

Enjoy! ======================

He grabbed my face and started pulling me closer. I tried to resist but I couldn't bring myself to do it, he was a great kisser. He pushed me into the kitchen and closed the door behind him. He started kissing me, my lips, down my spine, down my legs, and up again. He gave me hickeys on my neck, and I felt a sharp pain, like teeth; but I said nothing about it. He slowly touched my waist and pulled me closer. He pulled my pants down, then my underwear. Then he would put one finger down there. I couldnt help but moan quietly. He put 2 more. I moaned even louder, afraid that some of the people eating outside could hear me. He pulled down his boxers and pushed me onto the floor. He didn't waste any time and stuck his penis into my pussy. He thrusted me really fast, and I screamed when I moaned. I fingered the top of my pussy and started cumming. "AH,ah.." I screamed, "fuck..." and tried pushing him off of me, but that made him thrust even harder. He pulled my hair to make my arch perfect. He would pull out his penis to cum and I got up, my legs wobbling. He picked me up and put my legs around his torso, he inserted his penis in me and started doing the cowgirl position. He started thrusting harder and faster, and I felt my orgasm coming. I screamed out in pleasure as I came, and he soon followed suit. He collapsed on top of me, both of us panting and sweating in the aftermath. We both lay there in silence for a few moments, before finally getting up and cleaning up the mess we had made. We dressed in silence and he walked me to the door, giving me one last kiss before I left. I felt so guilty, so I walked to my boyfriend's house and let myself in. 'Xaiver..." I said. He walked out and hugged me. "Whats up" "Nothing much" We cotninued small talk until we started eating some leftover piza he had. "So.. y/n?How was your day?" I was zoning off and didnt bother to answer. "Y/n?????" I snapped with a "Huh?" quickly stopping my drift off. "You're acting off." Xavier said, cutting a tomato and sighing. 'What? Off? Pfft." never me. 'Y/n, do you have something to tell me. A secret perhaps?" He replies. 'Nooo! Calm down Xavier." I replied.." I replied. "That's not it, is it?" Xavier said looking at me, with a raised eyebrow. I sighed and told him the truth. "Yes, I do have something to tell you. I just don't know how to say it..." I said. 'What is it.." making up a quick lie, I said; "When we were dating, and you were 22, I hated that necklace you gave me, and only wore it whenever you were around." I said. "Oh. Mhm. Yeah, ok." he said muttering in disbeleive Xavier laughed and shook his head. "That's hilarious," he said. "And here I thought you really had a secret!" I scratched my head, feeling nervous i just lied to my boyfriend. My leg started twitching. I nervously laughed along with him, trying to keep up the facade. I knew I had to tell him the truth soon, but I was scared of what his reaction would be. I just hoped he would forgive me. After a couple of hours hanging out, I left; I was walking alone and I got a call from contact: Miguel. "Hello" he said over the phone, the soothing voice that I was missing. "Hello, Miguel; I've been meaning to tell you that I really can't do this, I have a boyfriend I just cheated on and I can't keep lying to him, I'm sorry and I hope you understand." I hung up, and deleted his number off of my phone.

2 days went by until a polcie officer called me; "Hello, Ms. Y/n Taylor, sorry to deliver bad news; But your boyfriend Xavier Riley was killed, tragically. He was found with 2 fang marks in his neck, and was hit in the face, the punch was so strong that it killed him. No human could' ve possibly indented a punch into his face, nor fangs. We only told his family and close friends. I'm so sorry, Ms. Taylor."

I tried to break down into tears, but I couldn't cry. For some reason my body wouldn't let me. I fixed myself up, and told the officer; "I'm devastated, thank you for letting me know.

[littlenahsstuff]

In love, I swear.

A/n Literally my first time writing actual fanfiction. This might be a flaming dumpster fire idk. I will persevere and cringe later, but for now, enjoy.

supreme!Cordelia Goode x reader

TW:nothing much, just a big old fluffernutter sandwich. A little angst. Swears I guess.

Synopsis: Cordelia has just recruited you to be a counselor at Robicheauxs and it's safe to say you are head over heels for the supreme. Unfortunately, you aren't the one to tell her.

You always thought that you weren't too special of a witch, you had the basic witchy spells down and specialized in the people who struggled on the inside... but in a more witchy sense. You also helped the witches who needed to get their powers more developed or who ones that are just behind in school. A sort of glorified counselor you suppose. It's sorta funny, especially since you aren't the most confident, how you can talk to all of the girls. When it boils down to it you are just a witchy gal searching for love. Specifically Cordelia's. It could never happen though.

Your love life wasn't the only area you lacked in before Robicheauxs, you had been struggling to find a job suited for your interests. Let's just say that you have a lifetime ban from one of the Mcdonalds in Louisiana. Fire and grease doesn't mix.

Of course, if it wasn't for dear, sweet, precious, Cordelia, you would be living on the streets. Luckily that didnt happen and so here you are today, three months in to your teaching position at Robicheauxs.

Oh, the moment, "You're hired. I look forward to expanding the academy's family and getting to know you better especially," left the Supremes lips, the better off you were.

And yet, even with all of the joy that comes with finally getting paid, there were the challenges as well. For starters, everyone was extremely nice to you, even though you kept mostly to yourself, there was this one person that made this heaven more hellish. Madison the bitch witch Montgomery.

You had been warned by Zoe, your closest confidante in this new place and also Madisons freaking girlfriend, that she was no pleasant peach. Never in all of your doubtful thoughts, had how bad it actually was crossed your mind. It was never the cockiness that got to you, you had a different appreciation for it than most. Found the confidence refreshing almost. No, no no no no. It was in fact, that she was constantly trying to dig up dirt on you.

"You're too much of a goody two shoes y/n," she once stated with a glare. The same day you had heard Zoe squabbling about something and your name came up. Your name and the fact Madison had stolen your wallet to look at your license. It turned up later on your bed stand.

Madison's a lover of Zoe and drama you've come to find out.

It's harmless though really, you dont mind the extra bit of attention that comes with it. Its flattering so no need to complain to anybody, especially not Cordelia.

Cordelia, mmm, yeah now shes the biggest threat here. She is the reason you got this job and might be the reason you lose it.

She once caught you with your doodle journal. It was a harmless question,

"Y/n, what're you drawing?" She looked over your shoulder. You almost jumped out of your skin and your sketchbook went flying.

"Oh dear, are you alright?" She worried her lips a bit. Her big, plump, kissable lips. Come on Y/n, get out of it.

"Yes," you squeaked. Sinking farther into the sofa. She chuckled her beautiful chuckle and sat on the couch arm.

"So, what was my favorite school counselor drawing just then?" She questioned. Glancing to the thrown book.

Your face went red.

"Uh-" you paused, come on you're making it a bigger deal than it has to be, "you." You couldn't look into her eyes.

She gazed at you at you and it felt like a hole was being burned into your skull.

"Okay," Cordelia said, leaving it at that. Stood up and made to walk away.

"Wait!" She paused and turned back to you, seeing you scramble to get your sketchbook.

"Yes?" Her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I- don't you want to see it?" You said and you slapped yourself mentally for about the hundredth time she walked in.

She smiled softly at you, "Of course, I thought you didn't. You looked scared to death, like bambi."

"Okay," you flipped back towards the page and cringed. It wasn't your best peice. You could never capture her beauty right.

Her eyes scanned over it, widening before squinting with her grin.

"It's so good!" She gasped.

"Yes, that is Cordelia Goode," you joked in a monotone manner. She slapped your shoulder jokingly, making you snort.

"You nerd, I didn't mean it that way. Either way, you did a fantastic job! I wished I looked as good as you make me seem," she muttered the last bit, bit you heard it. It saddens you to remember the damage Fiona did.

"Hey, Cordy," you started. You realized that you used a nickname that Madison did, but she doesn't seem to care.

"You know what I think? I think that you're wrong. You see I just can't for the life of me get your soft proud loving smile right. Your eyes aren't as warm and glowing as they are in reality. I couldn't manage to picture the right placement for those worry lines or crowd feet you have. You might not like them, but to me they show that you worry and care and that you laugh at the stupidest of things, which is a trait I adore. You are more perfect than any Davinci or Van Gogh," you say. You don't like when your friends feel bad about themselves.

Cordelia's tearing up a bit and wiles it away. "Didn't know you were a goddamn poet too?" She joked with a giggle, "thanks y/n, sometimes I need to hear something like that."

"No problem Cordelia," I can't help it, you're my muse, is what you want to say.

"Well, I have some paperwork, but it was nice to see ya," she hurriedly excused and rushed out.

Unbeknownst to you, Madison was watching. She knew exactly how to get dirt on you now. She had something all along.

The next week you spent daydreaming about Cordy...elia, you couldnt help but go back to that conversation. You needed to be more discrete, way more descrete.

So you made sure to draw your crush no more. That didn't change the fact you forgot to destroy the evidence in writing.

You had slept in a little too late, so in a rush you were to get to your office. The reason you had being you daydreaming about Cordelia and yours faux life together a little too long.

A bunch of new juicy stuff for Madison as she snatched it from your bedside table. It was too easy really.

She opened it up to the first page. It acted like a normal diary, just stating checklists of things to do and things you did. The size was fairly large, so skipping a few pages till she got to the juicy stuff and the part where you actually did know Cordy wasn't harmful.

It was a barf fest of emotion. "Oh Cordelia is so awesome, oh I'm so lucky to work with Cordelia, oh my, I won't ever get a chance with Cordelia, she's the supreme!"

"Ew," Madison groaned, whipping out her phone.

Then she found it, the goldmine of confessions. It was all the way in the back, meaning you had wrote it recently.

"Dear, myself

Cordelia today caught me drawing a picture of herself and said something I didn't particularly enjoy listening about herself. I can't believe Fiona would send her into such a deep hatred of herself that even with her gone she's hurting. She's no mother. Cordelia is the love of my life, even if I'm not hers, she deserves all the love I can give. She's not broken, but she just needs someone to love her and I do. I promise to give her as much love as possible without her finding out what kind it really is, I'm in love, I swear.

Sincerely, Y/N."

So she snapped a picture of the page.

After school was over Cordelia was not expecting Madison to barge into her office. Let alone with something regarding YOU of all people.

"Cordy, I've got something to tell you about y/n!" Madison sang out, waving her phone in front of Cordelia's face as she sat on top her desk.

Madison was just careless with others and too carried g about herself. It was the perfect storm. The only person who could ever take it too far to just prove a point. That there was something wrong with you.

If Madison Montgomery had taken one moment to actually think about it, she was just jealous. Jealous that another person at the coven was better than her to Cordelia. She was one spoiled bitch growing up. Guess it backfired.

"What?" Cordelia questioned in concern, "Is she okay? Madison what did you do to her!?" Her thoughts raced, Madison's pranks often went a little too far. She did kill Misty.

"Now now Cordy, don't get your panties in a twist. Here read this," Madison demanded to her supreme, she shoved it into her face and Cordelia grabbed it.

Her eyes expected headlines on the news or a mugshot, but she realized it was just your writing.

"Madison," she warned.

"Come on, I know you can read!" Madison poked Cordelia's forehead, prompting a slap from the Supreme.

Ms. Goode exhaled, "Fine."

Her eyes fluttered over the words, brows furrowing with every sentence. She couldn't comprehend, could she read?? It seemed to her as if her brain was creating what she wanted to see, but no, you wrote it. Unfortunately.

Everything's silent. Then the thought flits across her head, you like her back.

"In love, I swear."

Oh she's mad. Not at you, no, she could never. Madison on the other hand better,

"Get out of my office right now," Cordelia whispered. Madison's smile faltered.

"What, didn't you want to know your feelings are reciprocated? Come on, I'm just trying to get you two to speed up the process." Madison hopped of the desk and sauntered out.

What has she done.

Cordelia was wracked with guilt for awhile, with no way to tell you either. How does one even go about telling someone they read their deepest darkest secrets. How!?

She couldn't, so she did what she could. She pulled away from you and into her work. All of those lunches spent together stopped. The nights in the green house gone. Reading together on the weekends by the fire, gone.

And it left you empty. You had no idea what you did, but you must've done something.

So you decided to confront her, you hadn't gone much sleep since, so you were literally and figuratively tired of all of this shit.

Your knock on the door startled Cordelia, but your presence startled her even more. Both of you looked like wrecks.

"Oh, Y/n! Please, come in," Cordelia gestured and you did, closing the door behind you.

It was then that you finally broke down.

"What did I do Delia!?" You sobbed, falling to your knees. Yes it was dramatic and not even you expected it but you were holding your emotions for so long.

"Oh," Cordelia briskly moved over to you, concern painted on her face. She was watching you carefully, you looked so fragile. Just like she had felt at times.

"I'm sorry," you whimpered, "What did I do?" Her hand tilted your head towards her, but you still couldn't look into her brown eyes, opting for the floor. If you did, you probably wouldn't be able to look away.

"Y/n look at me sweetie," the nicknames never failed to make your heart soar. It was your weakness, your eyes met and they were glued there.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing nothing!" She took a deep breath, "I saw a page from your journal."

You froze, terror crept up your spine.

"Oh my god. Um Cordelia I am so sorry, you, wow I- god I'm so creepy! It's perfectly fine if you want to not be my friend or fire me. I didn't do it to be weird, it was how I expressed myself. I was trying to hide it I promise, i dont even know what happened!?"

"I'm gonna kill Madison, faster than my mother did," Cordelia groaned.

"Wh-" your brain malfunctions. Is-Is Cordelia kissing you? Right now?

Indeed she was and just like you dreamed about, her lips were so soft and her kiss gentle.

Maybe Madison could be forgiven... but not without a harsh talk.

"In love, I swear," she repeated in a whisper against your lips.

[vampelune]

does anyone have a weird nostalgia and appreciation for the adolescence of our generation (old zoomers/young millennials) growing up online. 

sometimes very unique about being a 13 year old who was experiencing so much grief that the only means of coping was drowning yourself in online communities and often too dark anime & roleplay or whatever. Stupid shit like kin drama and black square profile pictures when you were having a depressive episode or breakdown

Like . i guess kids around that age group are having their own run of that now and im annoyed by it because im an adult or whatever but fuck. that part of my life still probably meant something and was still deeply difficult and even if “cringy” it was my means of expressing myself

this is incoherent im just. Thinking about it? how the tropes of scene/emo/weeb kids online are mocked mostly because it was afab & queer kids engaging in it but i dont know why we consider it cringe. we obviously all acted like that for a reason, most of had difficult lives and no means of expressing it so that was how we ended up doing so

even if the “sad anime profile picture” or the black square are kind of memes now its kind of cathartic to remember that that was a way of us expressing our sadness to the people around us without having to come out and say it, something infinitely harder than changing a profile picture. even if it was “attention-seeking” i dont think being attention seeking means it’s a bad thing necessarily. a cry for help is attention seeking too

and drawing or writing weirdly graphic and depressing art too. god i remember the stupid “outside im smiling inside im dying” but that shit resonated with me so hard when i was in middle school lmao? because it was true. i had so  much shit going on internally but i couldnt deal with it, i didnt know HOW, so i just acted happy until i got home and could roleplay some depressed anime girls

anyways i also find it funny that this specific era of internet is now a tumblr core tag 

[collectionofcherries]

👀couldnt help but notice you talking about hannibal in your billy loomis imagine 👀 also couldnt help but to notice thats in your fandom list 👀 maybe you should shoot your shot with an imagine with hanni 👀

So over on my Naruto blog I did a little fluff piece called Morning Coffee that everyone seemed to enjoy so I thought I'd bring it here. It’s a simple concept, it follows your morning to the start of your cup to the end of it. Hope you enjoy! --- ☕ Morning Coffee ☕

---

written in the mind-frame of a Female!Reader but there are no pronouns mentioned nor gender specific anatomical body parts.  Warnings: None, flirting with the idea of smut but no actual smut. Sexual longing maybe? Word Count: 1,155

--- Hannibal Lecter

   Having coffee with a friend shouldn't have been this stressful, being this stressed in the morning couldn't be good for you but it wasn't like you could help it. How are you supposed to dress for morning coffee with a man who practically lives in three piece suits? Formal? Business casual? Casual casual? Your clothing covered floor seemed to bare no answers as you stared at what you swore was everything you owned...had everything always been this ugly? God! Why did you even propose a breakfast together? Hannibal does dinner but no you had to pitch breakfast to be different and try to impress him, yeah you're sure he'd be impressed by the amount of clothing on the floor. If you'd been like everyone else and just gone for dinner you'd have more time to try on clothes but a look at the clock told you that you had to leave now or you'd be late and that'd be terrible, that'd be rude and Hannibal can't stand people who're rude. However messy your floor was it was worth it for the compliment you got when Hannibal opened his door to greet you. “I don't see you in colour often, red looks lovely on you.”     Well, guess you're wearing red for the rest of your life.     "Oh thank you.” Finds it's way out of your throat as your face is painted the colour that apparently looks lovely on you.     “Please, come in.” He welcomes stepping to the side to allow room.    You never gave much thought to what a foyer could be, yours is technically where you just kick off your shoes and put your keys but this, this was proper foyer. Just the entrance to his house was nice. God it was big too, he could probably rent it out to a poor college kid for like 500 bucks if he wanted not that he looked like he needed the extra money. Did you even know how to say Foyer properly? You bet Hannibal did, without a doubt he knew all those fancy French words--was that word even French? Oh no, what if you were stupid and it wasn't French? What if this wasn't even a foyer? How dumb were you? H-- hands came up to your shoulders jolting you out of your spiral. Hannibal gently pulls the edges of your jacket and you immediately understand. “Thank you.” You repeat once again.    He smiles with a nod as he slides your jacket off of you with your help and hangs it up on a beautiful wood stand you're sure costs more than half your rent. Thinking about how much money was within these walls could make your head spin but that spinning is halted by the soothing tones of his voice. “Lost in thought?” He inquired.    “Uh, just early morning brain fog you know?” You try to bluff.    It's not convincing but he nods anyway. “Perhaps some coffee would help.”     “Sounds good.” You agree.    Following him through his house only furthers your awe, you could spent a lifetime in here just looking at stuff. “I thought it'd be pleasant to make breakfast together instead of having it ready, eating together is one experience but preparing a meal is another entirely.” He explained    The idea of sharing an experience with Hannibal was one that filled you with butterflies, the more you thought about it you didn't think you'd heard of Hannibal cooking with anyone else, maybe the stress of this morning would pay off after all. “I'm not a chef but I'll do my best, what're we making?”     “Uova al purgatorio.” Which leads to a bit of a blank stare on your end, as pretty as it sounds you've got no idea what that means. “It's an Italian dish, eggs in Purgatory.” He explained.    “Sounds interesting.” You quip.    “It is, the name comes from the eggs sitting in a tomato base, the white of the eggs floating within the red sauce giving the illusion of souls trapped within the unknown of Purgatory.” He explains as he prepares the boiling water for your coffee. “Even at breakfast it seems we wonder where our souls go to lay.”     “Well makes sense for Italy home of the Pope, I'm sure there's religious overtones at most meals.”    He smiles a little and nods. “During my time in Italy it truly does surround you, it's an interesting feeling, almost euphoric to be encapsulated by it at every

turn.” He remarked.    “Wow, you spent time in Italy? It looks beautiful there.” You say, trying to stray a little further from the religious aspect, you don't exactly know where Hannibal falls on that spectrum and the last thing you want to do is come across rude or disrespectful to him. “Coffee smells great.” You add as he pours the boiling water into his very fancy looking French Press.    Your attempt to change subjects doesn't go unnoticed at all but he once again nods as he looks at you. “Yes, I traveled quite a bit in my youth, I called Italy my home for some time.” He explains.     “Do you ever miss it?” You ask    “I take with me what I relish in the places I've been, while I may no longer be surrounded by the Primavera or the walls of Santa Maria della Concezione dei Cappuccini they are ever present in my mind, reproduced with the utmost detail.” You could listen to Hannibal talk all day, it wouldn't matter what he said you just like the way he said things, the timbre of his voice. “Have you ever given thought to travelling?” He prodded.    “Course, who doesn't think about travelling? See far off places, experience new people, new things, different cultures.” You reminisce.    “What stops you?”     You shrug a little. “Funds mainly but I'd want to take the time to learn the language of where I'm going, understand the culture so I don't offend anyone. I don't want to be one of those tourists that makes an ass out of themselves.” You said cringing at the end.    “It's considerate to take the time to understand a culture you will not live in, many go on whims like they're visiting amusement parks.” He agreed. “Would Italy be a place you'd like to visit or would you find their taste for religion leaving a sour taste in your mouth?” He asked.    Did you really think you'd get out of a question Hannibal wanted answered? You shrugged a little once again trying to make sure you phrase things that wouldn't step on toes that were in shoes that likely cost more than your rent. “I'm unsure...I don't know if my broader and more open views would be welcome in the narrower scope of such a religious place and I wouldn't want to impose myself or my views upon anyone.” You slowly clamber out as he pours two cups of what smells like incredibly coffee. “Thank you.” You quickly add as you take it from his hands.    “While I do know you enough to welcome you into my home, I'm not sure if I know you well enough to know of the open views you believe would be scrutinized under the gaze of the Church. Do you speak a broader view of all religions? Racial rights? Sexual appetite?”     You stomach almost leaps into your throat at the last question, talking sexual appetites with someone who could feed that said appetite for the rest of your life? How were you supposed to talk about that? You didn't want to impose but you certainly didn't want to miss any chance of feeding that appetite. “All of the above, you know?” You pitch at first. “I'm a big believer in religious freedoms for everyone, from anywhere--just freedom for everyone in general.” You tackle first, that's the more important one and the one that won't get you into any trouble. “And um--yeah I suppose my sexual appetite wouldn't please the Church.” You say with a small laugh breaking your gaze from Hannibal and down at your coffee cup. “Not exactly a born again virgin.” Smooth. Great job. Wow. Fuck. Maybe you could drown yourself in this coffee? You take a sip and to spite being too shy to ask for sugar or milk this coffee is great, actually smooth. Unlike you. “This is great, what is this?” You try.    Why do you try? He always notices, you're luckier than you know that it endlessly amuses him rather than annoys him. “It's Peaberry Coffee from Tanzania, it's a rounder sweeter bean, almost tea like.” He explains, allowing for a moment for you to believe you've somehow fooled him into letting his prior question go thoroughly unanswered. “It can take a more refined palette to taste all the notes.” He remarks.    “I don't know how refined mine is, I just know it's nice.”

You admit with a small laugh.    “Usually our tongues know more than we think, close your eyes and allow the flavours to dance over your tongue.” He instructed.    Hannibal could tell you to jump off a cliff and if he said it nice enough you probably would. You take a small breath and take another sip and try your damnest to impress Hannibal if only even a little but as you swallow you know your guesses are little more than shots in the dark. “It's sweet...kind of like a berry...?” You weakly pitch.    You're not wrong but Hannibal can tell your guess isn't confident. “Do you know you have a habit of coming in on yourself when you're unsure of what you're saying?” He asks letting you know he's been on to you for much longer than you would have hoped. He comes around from his large kitchen island to stand in front of you and you fight the urge to step back and away which only adds to how hard your heart beats in your chest. “Coming in on ones self allows negative neurons to fire, by simply lifting your head you'll allude more confidence and though red looks lovely on you so does that.” That compliment alone made your head spin so his next action of bringing his warm hand up to gently lift your head? Your entire body felt weak. It was laughable that the simple touch of his thumb resting on your chin and his forefinger below it could have such an effect on you, looking up at him him with unsure eyes as to where this went next was laughable to him. You were putty in his hands, vulnerable in every meaning of the word. "Try again, close your eyes and when you take a sip allow it to work around your mouth, to explore every inch of your tongue.”    Was this porn? This could be porn, this might as well be porn as far as your body was concerned apparently. It took you a moment to actually get your limbs to move and grab your coffee again and it felt good to close your eyes, you liked Hannibal but being so close and having him stare back at you was overwhelming. And he knew it, there was something very satisfying about your kind of vulnerability, it was raw and open for him to touch and mold with his hands. You brought the cup to your lips and took another sip and once again tried to find a defined note in this coffee and maybe it was having your head tilted up, maybe it was having him so close but an answer did come from your mouth. “Cedar?”    Opening your eyes you knew you'd gotten it right by the contented look you were rewarded with. "I had a hunch your tongue knew more than you were letting on.” He teased.    He let his thumb trail back and forth on your chin before moving it away and your head felt like it was floating. “What does your tongue taste? I'm sure it's much more experienced than mine.”     You're sure if you didn't feel so floaty such a blatantly flirty question wouldn't have come out of you but it seemed to fly just fine as a small amused breath made it's way out of him. “Your assumption would be correct.” He let you know. “The notes in this coffee I've become very acquainted with over the years so it wouldn't be much of an exercise in taste for me to tell you them all. Perhaps another breakfast we could expand upon both our tongues.” Your entire body clenched and you had to practically drown out your whine of want by taking a sip of your coffee. “For now we'll be expanding on yours, come, wash up I'll show you how to make uova al purgatorio, a taste from my past.” He said walking back around the kitchen island.    You follow him around the island and with one last sip put your empty coffee cup into the sink. --- ~Admin Coral 🍒 Buy Me A Coffee?

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Ships and Shells (Pt.1)

-------------------------

There were a great many things that Virgil didnt know, how to solve complex math equations, how to balance a book on his head, how the ocean could be so close to him yet so obscenely far. Really that was what confused him, a title of 'Prince of the Seas' and yet he hadnt set foot near one once in his life.

For a kingdom based so heavily around aquaculture, it was rather odd that his parents seemed to fear water more than they feared the idea of poison in their goblets.

Of course, that didnt mean they'd halted the economy all together, oh no, it was perfectly alright for other people to do the dirty work of the oceans, so long as the nobility stayed away from it.

But that's the thing about keeping an eighteen year old boy trapped in an expansive palace with windows pointing out to a place he wasnt allowed to go. It never worked.

In the case of this particular rebellion, Virgil had strayed off nearly every day at night to watch the tides, to feel the water on his feet, to call out to the distant shore that seemed oh so welcoming when he wasnt allowed to accept its invitations.

And if he couldnt sneak out, he watched ships dock and leave from the harbor as often as he could, his mind swimming with ideas of what it might be like.

"But mother I dont want to go to my classes! The instructor is all boring and- creepy-" Virgil complained, dragging his nails along the table and pouting slightly.

"Well if you didnt want extra classes than maybe you shouldve paid more attention the first time," the queen responded coldly.

"Well how can I! You've placed the classroom right next to the ocean! If you wanted me to pay attention so badly why would you give me a view like that!" Virgil responded, throwing his arms up.

"Well I'd expect you to have a little more self control than that!" And that settled it, if Virgil's mother was mad, there would be no further questions. Virgil mumbled a bit before he stormed off to his classes, fidgeting with his hoodie strings as he walked.

Of course, he still didnt pay a single lick of attention, simply stared out of the window and cringed at his professor's comments until it was over.

And then it happened, he'd walked out of the study, and heard a loud crash from outside. He raced to a farther window, pressing his face against the glass.

A large black ship was docked in the harbor, and the harbor itself, was on fire.

Virgil had to duck as something hit the window, a quick look allowed him to recognize it as a grappling hook. So Virgil began to run as fast as he could, watching pirates was one thing, getting taken by them was another.

Unfortunately for Virgil, he was fast, but pirates with ropes were much faster. Virgil froze as he heard boots land on the floor in front of him, and attempted to turn back in the other direction, only to run into another pirate.

"Aaawwweee, poor thing, he thinks we're gonna hurt him doesnt he!" Said one of the pirates, cackling. Virgil looked up and spat in his face. The man blinked, pouting slightly.

"Well fine, since you want to be so rude about it, Janus? Roman?" The man looked over Virgil's shoulder, Virgil attempted to break into a run again, only for his arm to get caught by someone else. He swilling around and attempted to bite his captor, only to feel someone else press against his neck, his vision went spotty, and then faded entirely.

He woke up in a cell, the smell of salt water filled his nostrils, he had cloth wrapped around his mouth, wrists, and ankles.

"Terribly sorry for the lackluster greeting, we're not used to skittering mice," Virgil glared at the man standing outside of his cell.

"Gee, you could kill a man with those eyes," the man cackled. Virgil let out a low snarl.

"Oooohhh, I'm shaking in my boots!" The man leaned against the cell, lifting on leg up and propping it on a barrel behind him.

"Tell me, what exactly do you think you'll be able to do to me when you're stuck in there, and even if you were out, pompous prince like you couldnt even throw a proper punch," the pirate said with a grin, Virgil noticed silver fangs glinting at the front of his mouth. Virgil lunged at him slightly, only to end up falling on his face. The silver-fanged man let out another sickening cackle.

"And dont get any ideas about escaping, you're on Captain Remus Duke-Prince Kingsley's ship now, and you'll abide by my rules, or you'll find yourself hanging from a fish hook off the hull," the Captain's voice took on a sudden threatening tone that sent chills down Virgil's spine. Virgil watched as Remus turned on his heel and strode out of the room, wishing ever so intensely that he couldve broken his bonds and strangled the man before he even set foot outside the door.

It felt as though Virgil had been alone in that cell for hours before someone showed up, he was short, with messy auburn hair and bright green eyes. He looked guilty, sad even.

"Here's your food, I'll uh- get that cloth off now-" he stammered, slipping the tray through a slot in the cell, Virgil turned his back to the man, waiting patiently as he felt the man's fingers working through the cloth bindings. Almost as soon as he felt the last piece of cloth fall from his body he bolted upright and tried to push his way through the cage bars. The man who'd delivered his food gave him a pitying look, but didnt stop him. It wasnt until Virgil had managed to tire himself put and collapse onto the floor that he spoke.

"Well, I suppose if you're quite finished, youd like to ask questions, then?" He said, raising an eyebrow. His face was soft, even the mildly annoyed look spread across it now didnt take away from the rosy flush of his cheeks, nor the faint glimmer of his irises.

"Yeah, question one, what the hell do you think you're playing at," Virgil said, slamming his arm against the cage bars again, ignoring the vibration it sent through his body.

"Ok, dont get mad, which is probably a redundant statement since you already look like you're going to explode, but, I cant answer that particular question yet," he said, the guilty expression quickly resurfacing.

"Ok, sure, fine, can you at least tell me what you need me for? Because it clearly isnt a ransom or I'd already be dead," Virgil grumbled, smirking slightly at the worry this seemed to cause the man.

"Well uh, I dont have all of the details, but uh- well- Remus says- I think- we need your help with something? Like- finding something, he says we cant do it unless you're with us," the man stuttered, shifting his feet on the ground.

"Oh really? So if I were to- say, remove myself from the equation, you'd be at a loss hm?" Virgil said, the man let out a terrified squeak. Virgil gave a merciless laugh, for a pirate, whoever this man was, he was nowhere near as threatening as his captain.

"Well uh- yes- that's, how I assume it would work- but uh- I dont think it would be very beneficial to you either-" the man continued, his boots now tapping more frequently on the ground.

"You and I have very different ideas of beneficial," Virgil replied.

"Roman? Is everything alright my darling?" Virgil paused as he heard another voice, this one deeper, almost silky in tone.

"I'm alright Janus-" Roman replied, Virgil heard shuffling.

"Are you going to eat? I dont think it wise to starve yourself, after all, a prince of the seas die in the middle of the ocean? There are far less ironic alternatives, and with much more bravado than that," Janus said, Virgil muttered a bit before he turned to the tray, which was, by some odd miracle, still hot. He glanced in the direction of his co-captors to get a better look at the second figure. Janus was tall, with wavy brown hair that was parted to the right, the left side was shaved, there was a very prominent yellow snake skull drawn on the right side of his face as well, and he, to, had metallic fangs, though his were gold, and were visible even with his mouth closed, Roman, it seemed, had no such additions. Virgil eyed them both carefully before he started eating, and he hadnt realized how hungry he was till that exact second.

"And dont worry about excercise, you'll only be trapped here until we're in the next town, of course you wont be getting off the ship, so dont get any ideas," Janus said calmly.

"And what makes you think you can stop me?" Virgil said, glaring up at him.

"Who exactly do you think incapacitated you upon our arrival at the castle?" Janus said plainly, flexing his hands, upon which were gold accents that seemed to trace it like a skeleton.

"Well, enjoy your meal, and dont sit still for to long, it gets dreadfully uncomfortable for your joints to get that stiff," and with that, the pair were gone, Janus fixing his hat, and Roman clinging to Janus' arm like a lovestruck puppy.

And there was Virgil, alone, and very much unhappy.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@thefivecalls

@willowaudreykeyes

@pricklyfish777

@the-sad-strawberry

@itsnithbabey

@private-snippers

@extercs-experiences

@rich-flower-17

@theonetruebeepboop

@mycatshuman

@teamplutoforlife

@melodiread

@meowthefluffy

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

[i-have-feelings-bitch]

some thoughts on ÉLITE s4 immediately after finishing it

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD, obviously

so. i have some thoughts.

i really disliked how they kept on piling up problem upon problem and i’ve seen that a couple dozen times by now and it always ends the same - nothing gets solved. Not really, anyway. The solution usually is; another problem happens, but its bigger and far more important and severe than all of the other ones combined and it overshadows everything that had happened before.

on that note, and to be fair, this is a teen’s drama show. So i don’t mind it, just to be clear here. i enjoyed the heck out of this season, right now, it’s my favorite season of all. That might change later, as all of this still is so new and fresh and exciting so my mind naturally snaps onto it.

first things first; Omander went just like i predicted - they broke up just so they could get back together eventually, after some hardcore drama. (i cried anyway. a lot.)

there’s one character i liked throughout the whole season. no, wait, two actually. first is rebeka. i feel like her decisions made sense. i liked her story arch a lot. the second one is azucena. what a queen.

.........guzman has a really bad temper. always had and probably always will. (to the samu/guzman/ari drama; why couldnt they have a pretty threesome, ari was quite obviously polyamorous (but i guess nobody has ever heard of that lol) and samuel and guzman almost fucked any second anyways so what exactly was their problem)

surprisingly enough, i liked Patrick in a lot of moments, about 50%. i absolutely despised him in the other 50%. tbh im really not sure about his character like with him, i don’t see any reasoning or goal or whatsoever. i have no clue what he wants to achieve?? guess he just wants to be gay and fuck around and honestly? fair enough

Mencia. Oh, Mencia. i liked her a lot from the get go and i still think her character is cool as shit, but there were quite some moments when i wouldve loved to smack her across the face. i also cried a lot when it came to Mencia/Rebeka. when Samu said “Fuck, you two are cute”? i felt that. i very much cringed at the chocolate scene, but to each their own i guess.

Ari; about 95% of the season disliked her. i didn’t hate her, but she was like a knockoff version of Lu? listen, i know i’m being biased here and it’s very unfair towards her, but to me, it just felt like she always tried to be the mean girl but never really succeeded. my opinion of her skyrocketed in the last few minutes of the last episode, though. we love some good sibling care in this house. not like it had been like that in the beginning, mind you.

i. fucking. hated. Benjamin. like the whole time. i think there was legit one single moment when i thought like “okay hold on that was the first (and last) good move you made this whole season” and it was when he offered Mencia to listen to her anytime she wanted or needed to. otherwise. fuck him. his attitude, his way of talking, his way of acting, fucking everything. (in the very last scene, when he destroyed the table? like yeah, i get that you’re emotional and angry and shit but my dude, your youngest daughter just told you she basically got r*ped on a daily basis by the guy *you* invited to your house because you only saw his money. can you please show some motherfucking self-control and not scare said daughter to fucking death oh my god i hate this guy so fucking much) also because he kicked out azucena. on that note, ander being protective of his mom? absolutely living for it.

aaand Ander. here we go. oof. i did not like him for a good part of the season. actually, i think it probably started in episode one and ended in the last one, lol. i just felt like there were little things that made sense? i appreciated him telling Omar that he finds this other guy (aka Patrick) hot, but like some time later, they break up in this really horrible and heartbreaking sequence and a minute later, Ander goes whoring around like there’s no tomorrow? like, literally? huh? i found myself really torn between who to dislike more; Ander or Patrick. nice el desorden reference. (both the shot where he masturbated alone in the shower and the book, lmao)

as for Omar; can the writers just leave him the fuck alone please? what did he ever do to yall to ever deserve all this shit he has to go through constantly in this show holy fuck i HATE how he got treated by Ander and Patrick and Benjamin. This boy deserves so much better. he did seem a little out of character sometimes, i gotta say. not sure why tho. most times, he was the sweet, empathetic cinnamon roll we know him as. like idk man he does so much for his friends?? the thing with Philippe and Caye at the bar was adORABLE

which leads us to

Philippe. dude. what. was his character. most of the time, i felt kinda bad for him, like his so called friends literally all just saw the royalty in him (not that he made the impression that he didnt like that in the first few episodes, but yeah it’s a thing so i reckoned that would come up later on). also i was so happy for Cayetana ughguhghguhghh they were really cute together......but then he gotta pull this shit, like what??? in the actual fuck. he’s just like “yeah some girl tried to sue me, saying i r*ped her” and then later he’s like “so yeah i’m actually a r*pist, whoops, sorry, can you stay pretty please?” like ex fucking cuse the shit out of me sir. no. the problem is i *want* to like him because pol granch is a fucking sweetheart and i’m catching myself thinking stuff like hes kind of aware that hes a borderline r*pist and that hes also very aware that it’s not okay? but like? he doesn’t try to change? don’t even get me started on his mother. ugly ass bitch. that’s all i have to say.

so i didnt like Cayetana for a major amount of s3, like at all. but yeah, what can i say. shes just a sweet girl okay and now i have a soft spot for her. much like Omar i feel like, she gets a lot of shit, completely uncalled for and there’s nothing she can do against it she just like stumbles into the pile of crap and then is knee-deep in. i feel very sorry for her man i just wanna hug her.

just for the record, there was not a single second that i thought Amomrdm(shit i forgot his name lmfao) -the bad guy- was just being nice and helpful. tbh he just deserved what he got. whoops, there, i said it.

the build up in the last episode was very nice, i gotta say. it was low key obvious who would be the one to attack Ari, but it’s alright. i did not expect the thing with Guzman tho lol. You go man. (but still, aggression problems.)

side note; dude it really sucks that guzman and samuel were too busy fighting over Ari to actually notice her missing lmao

oh also - Rebeka’s ninja kick on the dock??????? HELLO????

guzman and ander leaving made me so fucking emotional?????? excuse me??? who gave them the right?????

edit; (a day later)

just noticed i completely forgot Samu, lol. hes just so far away from my type and i dont really have an opinion on him like yeah hes kind-hearted and cares for his friends, and thats sweet, but uuuhhhhhh. i was only there for the lil gay moments between him and guzman. there were a lot of them. i was really happy when he and Rebeka made up and talked to each other again, that was kinda wholesome. aside from that tho? idk hes just kinda [shrug-emoji] for me (like he had been from s1 all the way on to be quite honest)

that said, i’m sure theres lots more thoughts in my mind but the heat is making my head hurt lol ok bye

[katherinewilliams221b]

For A Greater Good Fun Facts and Self Assesment (spoilers)

Long Post

What worked and what didn’t:

I think the overall structure worked pretty well. The most difficult part was, with the plot and subplot already created, scattering all those ideas throughout the text in such a way that at least made some sense. I regret not writing more about Mer Yankelevich, I feel like the crumbs I left on the way were not enough; in my attempt to make it subtle it lacked information about her. The key piece was of course her sister, and I should have introduced her sooner.

MC’s evolution. I feel like Kate’s learnt a lot with this experience (I’m not only referring to the Deathly Hallows or Grindelwald) When it started, she was very discreet and kept a low profile, not knowing what to do really, not taking more risks than necessary. And then she ended poisoned and splinching just to protect a document she thought was important. I hope her evolution is noticeable for the reader.

Worldbuilding. Grabbing HP concepts that were forgotten and full of potential, plus a dash of original ideas from me and blending them with muggle features was my absolute favourite part of the process.

On that note, I dont own these concepts: Durmstrang, Igor Karkarov, Nerida Vulchanova, umbrella flowers, fanged geraniums, billywigs, Appare Vestigium, glow-worms, trick wand, chamaleon ghouls, 

If you’ve read the fic and thought: “everything happened so fast” or got a general odd feeling about the timeline it's because I made a series of  monumental mistakes: setting a chapter limit, telling you about it and then tried to stick to it.  At first the idea sounded nice: this is my first “big” story  with complicated components. I should (and I did) do an outline of what I want to happen in each chapter and stick to it methodically so I don't forget what's happening or lose track of the plot. Well...it kind of backfired. So I wrote the first 3 chapters and at that point I thought “okay everything is going as planned, I’m going to put it out there”, bam, instantly cursed. After that it got ridiculously difficult to make the story that I wanted. Why? I needed chapter space that I convinced myself I couldn’t add. Dumb.

The major consequence of this was the lack of character backgrounds. It started out good, but as I kept writing and publishing I realised that I missed some great opportunities to make amazing ocs. That’s Corentin’s fault in a way: he wasn't going to be a major character, really, just a piece to help Kate a bit. But we all fell in love with him so what was I supposed to do? Also, Sheyi Mawut owns my heart and he got just a bit of spotlight. A shame.

I wish I had written more about them, but I think I wasn’t ready just yet to make it even more complicated.I just wanted to prove I could concoct a mystery plot and now that I know I can manage a fair amount of information I think I can take it a step further and deepen new ocs a little bit more.

I’m thinking about the datura series and I know why I got blocked and tired of writing it; it wasnt going anywhere because I wasnt prepared, and I didn’t do the months of outlines and planning that I did with this one. I’ll come back to the datura story one day, subjecting it to a sever rewrite. The ideas are there, I just need to be organised.

Although the chapter limit was problematic it was also a good exercise of managing space and deciding which things were unnecessary for the story. I dont think there’s any filler chapters, perhaps the last ones, but there is important information there too so... However this sentence  from the blog  wordsandstuff reassured me (and I think I did a good job at that?)

If you set out to write 10 parts and you write a fantastic story in 8, you haven’t failed and it’s not too rushed. Concise writing is an underrated talent. Focus on how effectively you engage the reader, not for how long.

I spent more than year writing this! When I started, I had a lot of ideas, I wrote the last two chapters then the first 3 and I really thought it was going to be that way with the rest of the story... okay... lesson learnt. #humbled

Other thoughts:

I received a couple of comments on ao3 that said that they were pleasantly surprised. Maybe I should change the tags because they are misleading? Clearly this wasnt what people were looking for lol.

One particular comment stood out to me and quoting it said:  “You did not choose the easy way with a fiction with so few characters from the fandom.”  And I’ve been thinking about this since I read it. It didn’t occur to me that there were few mystery fics (maybe I should write more things like that? Maybe throwing some power couple detective work 👀 ) In any case, I’m glad  I contributed with something different to the fandom, and the fact that the Charlie bits are very scarce but people who read it still liked it is really flattering.

I wanted to make sure that all the characters had strengths and flaws, I didnt want to severus-snape them so maybe I overdid it with that bit of introspection kate does at the end...

Also, I did the kiss and fade thing twice to mention sex. I know some people dont like that but since it wasnt the point of the story and I havent done research on how to write sex scenes I didnt include them. I have that on my “to learn” list.

Conclusions:

Writing the whole thing was incredible. It's my first ‘big’ project and its not a great work (there are some things I wish I did better, thats what you get when you are an agatha christie wannabe) and not writing more character backgrounds will haunt me to this day,  but I think it's at least good for a first series and I’m proud of it. I loved spending hours doing research and trying to piece together this puzzle. And of course I’m not an expert and I dont want to sound pretentious (like this is my first story) but if you are planning to write this type of genre I can be another source of tips and tricks for you.

If I read the story after a while and I dont cringe, I would call that a success.

FUN? FACTS!

Bakunawa really belongs to Filippines mythology

Snapdragons have different meanings, one of them being: “grace under pressure or inner strength in trying circumstances”

The entrance to Grindelwald’s room was going to be in the duelling classroom, strangely shaped as a triangle. I had this system where one of the round candle lamps descended and lined up with a line on the floor (serving as separation for duels) it created the Deathly Hallows symbol. I couldn’t make that work because it wouldn't make any sense for Nerida Vulchanova to shape a room like that.  Here are some sketches:

Lucius Malfoy was going to appear as the Ministry employee that goes to Durmstrang, but after revising the events of the OoP I realised it was impossible.

Kent Jorgensen was going to be around Kate’s age and the charms teacher and he would have a small crush on her. After seeing some pics of Pen Medina, I rewrote the character completely.

The series was going to be 6 chapters long (I’m glad I decided not to) one for each month. The chapter names were ridiculous: January of Beginnings, February of reputation, March of Students, April of Discoveries, May I? and June of Endings. #tragic

The Dolohov family was going to be a part of the plot but I had to erase that part because it was unlocking another layer of complexity that I just couldnt handle.

I dont remember exactly the chapter but I got really confused with the names Rhode and Hodges and there’s one chapter where I accidentally mixed them (I corrected it I think), but for a while I could stop calling Rhode, Hodges, and vice versa lmao

Here are some sketches that helped me describe and imagine things

Thank you for accompany me in this journey, especially if you endured the process with me lmao. You’ve been here for over A YEAR! <3 Mindblowing

Also I’d love to know your opinions about the way you read the story, I mean, I know some people read it as I published, and some other readers found the story already finished, what are the differences? Should I stop the updating system and drop a story all at once? I know it is difficult to keep up with a complex story if there’s a lot of weekly or monthly gaps between the chapters, so I wanted to know.

Sending you a virtual hug 💜💜

[shhh-no-ones-home]

loud mouth colson baker(mgk) x reader

+++++++++ So I had a dream about him and it's all I've been thinking about all day so here ya go, this seems to be a theme lately lol

Song: aint talking bout love by van halen

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

"Wow you really know how to make a mess don't you."

My friend said, looking around at the room piled with clothes. I picked a shirt up and tossed it at him.

"Shut up, I told you I needed to clean out my closet."

He laughed at me, folding it and putting it in top of my desk.

"You're gonns need some serious help with this."

I began plucking clothing items off my bed and folding them.

"Yeah I know, colson's coming over later and so is Bree."

I watched John pick up another shirt and fold it.

"Lucky me for getting here early."

He joked. I sent him a knowing smile.

"Hey at least Id already started, everything is out of the closet and half of it I'm getting rid of."

I said proudly. He laughed a little at me.

"Okay, please tell me you are losing this one."

He said, hopeful, holding up a very old and worn out mgk shirt. I frowned and snatched it away from him.

"Of course not, colson gave me that the first time I ever went to one of his live shows."

John crossed his arms across his chest at me. Then there was a knock at my bedroom door, drawing our attention to colson standing in the doorway.

"I hope you don't mind I let myself in, the front door was unlocked."

He said with a smile. I dropped the shirt to the bed and went in for a hug.

"Of course not, I told you you can come in any time."

He held me with one hand as he fist bumped John, letting me go a second later.

"So, this looks a little crazy."

He said finally looking around the room. I let out a nervous laugh, going back to my spot at the end of the bed.

"I know it does now but once everything is sorted it'll be a breeze to put away."

He kind of looked at me like I was crazy before stepping over some clothes and making his way to me.

"Okay, where do you want me to start?"

I looked around for a second.

"Um, John's doing shirts, I'm doing this... Wanna start folding and stacking pants?"

I asked, pointing to them. He shrugged.

"Sure."

He walked to the pile and dropped to the ground, sitting with his legs crossed as he began pulling things out.

"So, what did I miss?"

He asked, John sending me a knowing look.

"Not a whole lot."

I said condescendingly, throwing the shirt back at John.

"She won't get rid of this."

He said holding it to his chest and looking down at it. Colson laughed a little bit.

"You still have that? That merch line hasn't been around for years."

He said in wonderment. I put my hands on my hips as he kept folding and stacking.

"You gave that to me, of course I kept it. Do you even remember that night?"

I asked pointedly. He thought for a second before shrugging.

"I don't know y/n I don't remember a lot of shit."

I rolled my eyes as I went back to folding and stacking too.

"It was the first of your live shows you invited me to. When it was over you asked if I was going to that party with you. of course I said I couldnt stay too long but you said I had to anyways. We were at that dude's house till, God, it must been like four in the morning."

We both laughed at the memory. He nodded his head.

"Yeah I remember now, you were so drunk. But that one chic spilled her entire glass of wine down the front of you and it's all I had when we got back to my place."

He laughed, John looking between us with a smirk on his face. I couldn't help but think fondly of that night, even if it did go quite awry.

"Sounds like quite a night."

John mentioned, sending me another knowing look.

"It really was."

Colson stood up and placed the stack of pants on the bed next to the one I was working on.

"If I remember correctly, that was also the first time you had drank yourself into a hangover. Literally."

I cringed.

"Yeah, I was so sick that next day, I was honestly just glad you were there."

I turned to John as he sat.

"I literally couldn't walk, I was violently sick the whole day, and the headache I had was like none I've ever had in my life."

Colson laughed a little bit, nudging my arm with his elbow.

"Lucky for you I'm a great hangover doctor."

°°°°°°°°° I looked to Bree as she handed me another hanger, the guys in the other room deciding on dinner. We had been at this most of the day and I was beginning to wonder who the hell let me do this to myself. There was a mountain of clothes by my door that was all stuff I had planned to get rid of. Part of me felt refreshed but I still had to finish putting away what was left.

"Aw I remember you telling me about this one."

She said picking up the shirt we had talked about earlier. I smiled to myself as I put it on the hanger.

"Ya know we had just finished talking about that night right before you got here."

She pouted.

"So I missed the best story about you two? No fair."

She protested, sulking down into her seat. I laughed a little bit.

"As if you don't know every detail anyway."

She perked back up as she handed me another shirt hanger.

"Well yeah but I still love hearing about it. That's when it all started."

She said winking at me and I waved the shirt in my hand at her.

"That's our secret ma'am."

I said through gritted teeth and she just laughed at me.

"They aren't in here what does it matter."

She said at me.

"You just love a man Willing to take you... Oops I meant take care of you."

My eyes went wide, my mouth dropping as I playfully gasped at her.

"Excuse you! He's just a friend."

I said matter of factly and she raised an unimpressed brow at me.

"Sure he is. It's not like you two don't flirt relentlessly at each other all the time or anything."

I rolled my eyes as I finished hanging the last few things up.

"What about it? Friends flirt with each other all the time."

"Really?"

She said flatly. Then John came in the room, colson hot on his heels.

"Pizza."

Was all he said. Bree and I looked between them.

"Okay?"

I asked and he held the phone out to me.

"Holy shit."

I said taking it from him.

"Do we really need all this food for just the four of us?"

Colson stepped to me and took the phone back.

"Come on y/n, if we're staying the night like you planned you know it's gonna get eaten."

I sighed.

"You buying?"

He grinned widely at me.

"Yes ma'am."

I caved.

"Fine."

"Yes!"

He said giving John a high five and finishing the order. I shook my head.

"You two are ridiculous."

Colson grinned widely at me.

"Yeah, ridiculously hungry."

I laughed.

"You should put that in a song loser."

He handed the phone back to John, him walking back out into the hallway.

"Ooo wait! Are you getting barbeque?!"

Bree yelled, following him quickly. I laughed to myself as I pushed my clothes around in the closet, making sure everything was in its right place. Colson draped his arm over my shoulder, admiring my work.

"I'm proud of us."

He said.

"We got a lot done today."

I nodded against him, bringing my arm around his waist.

"Yes we did, and thanks again, it really means a lot. I definitely needed the help."

I said smiling up at him. He was already staring down at me. I let out a nervous laugh.

"What?"

He grinned widely.

"I wasn't gonna say anything, but Bree is kind of loud..."

My mouth dropped open, taking my hand from his back and covering my face.

"No."

I groaned into my hands as he laughed, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head.

"Don't be shy baby."

He said, pulling my hands down. I couldn't help the mad blush making its way to my cheeks.

"What did you hear?"

I asked hesitantly, him snaking his arms around my waist.

"You like a man that can take you and take care of you."

He said proudly, a lazy smile playing across his lips. I held my breath and closed my eyes.

"Oh god."

I sighed out. He laughed again, rubbing his finger tips into my lower back.

"Hey, don't feel bad, we've been friends forever. Nothing I can't handle. Besides, I wouldn't flirt back if I wasnt a little interested."

My eyes went wide at his words.

"What are you saying?"

I asked skeptically. He smirked at me.

"Kiss me and find out."

He said lowly. I just stared at him. My brain couldn't comprehend what was happening. Before I knew it he was moving towards me and I couldn't breathe. A second later his lips were on mine and I was kissing him like my life depended on it. He dipped me down, holding me tightly to him. When he pulled away I inhaled sharply, needing as much air as I could get. Or at least that's what it felt like. My lungs burned and my brain was misfiring. He half smiled before pecking me on the lips again.

"God I should've done that ages ago."

He breathed out and I nodded.

"Agreed."

I said, pulling him back down to me and kissing him passionately.

"Yes!"

I heard Bree shout, making me smile against him. When he pulled away we both looked to the doorway, Bree dancing in place as John stood there with his mouth open.

"How long has that been a thing?!"

He said shocked. Bree punched his arm making him flinch away. She ran to us, giving us a collective hug.

"I love you guys."

She said looking between us and I couldn't help but blush again.

"Thanks Bree."

[la-vie-en-colour]

hello epic mofos. i have some shit to say.

BEFORE I GET INTO IT, spoilers for chicago med s5-6 and chicago fire s2-3 so youve been warned.

date: 1/20/21

FIRST OFF- HA! i can officially say i liked crockett before the majority of the fandom did. and he’s continued to grow and develop into a very interesting character, so im impressed with the writers that they managed to do at least something right. and the most recent ep w him and nat on the roof? i nearly cried. im not the biggest natalie fan but their dynamic is adorable, yes some scenes have been a bit cringe between them, especially the “i run hot” bit, but for the most part it makes me happy. i feel like theyd be good together, crockett isn’t like will, who was basically nat but a dude, so theres a healthy difference between them, enough so that i couldnt see them being a shitshow like manstead was. the only obvious road block to that is his backstory and the pain its caused him. he doesn’t seem to want a serious relationship at the moment, and whether that’s because he’s punishing himself for what happened to his family (btw, the writers said we’d meet his ex wife soon so uh thats exciting) or because he’s not ready im not sure, so theyd be better as a slow burn. he definitely has some stuff he needs to sort out before he gets into anything above the one night stands. another thing i want for him is for him to go to therapy, clearly he’s having trouble dealing with whatever went down before he came to chicago and in order for him to be ok with that he should talk about it, stuffing it down until 3am doesn’t seem to be working lmao.

2- For the first time, im watching older chicago fire eps because they’re now free on peacock- i only came to the fandom last year and basically just kinda learned everything myself. That said, im at s4 now and DAMN s3 was rough. On everybody but especially sev :( the poor guy lost his best friend and the way he spiraled after that was heartbreaking. What was especially infuriating to me was that nobody noticed, or at least had the guts to confront him about it (with the exception of chief, but he gave up and it was more of a slap on the wrist than anything serious). The only person who did anything really helpful was casey, and even then he was only really giving him a bed and a roof over his head- the drinking and partying didn’t stop and casey knew that and didn’t do anything about it, i dunno, it just really made me mad. I understand that he’s an adult and casey wouldn’t have wanted to babysit him, and severide wouldnt have wanted to be babysat, it was just frustrating that no one came through for him. And that scene with erin (i believe it was ep 4? 5? She told him she didn’t want to be the girl at the restaurant waiting for him but she wanted to be there for him as a friend) You guys--- i knew they were some kinda brief thing because ive watched half of cpd (then stopped for reasons ill explain later lol) but i didnt know they were anything beyond hook up partners, that scene was so sad on so many levels that i cant :,) i cant explain it, it was just, i felt for both of them. And in conclusion 51 shoulda done something about what severide was going through.

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[whence-the-woody]

Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

HIStory’s ranked (no one asked, but here i go)

so i was sittin here, talkin to myself about the HIStory series’ and was like ‘hey, i should rank them’ (which i’ve seen a few other people do, but mines a lot more rambling than there’s because i can’t shut up lol) 

so here’s my views lol (ordered from worst to best, imo):

6) My Hero (HIStory1) -

probably universally acknowledged as the worst episode, and i’d be inclined to agree with the masses on this lol... not only is the tone and humour of this series so weird and disjointed, but the entire story line literally makes no sense lol?? it’s unclear who the audience should be rooting for (especially as it goes out of it’s way to paint our protagonist as really unlikable lol, not to mention the love interest is the dullest character ever conceived like ???), as well as this the ending feels completely unrelated and bizarre... 

i think this concept /could/ have worked if the guy the woman was inhabiting (which sounds weird without context, but like she’s dead lol) was somehow also inside his head? or if she got to see his memories or whatever & tries to adjust her personality to match the guy’s, causing love interest!dude to fall in love with the guy... (like i could go into more detail, i basically hav an entire au written in my head lol, but yh...)... that way, her letting go of him in the end would feel so much more well set up? especially if she was generally more understanding and likeable.. 

i think overall this series just fails in telling a decent story lol... & the cringe is even beyond what i can handle lol

5) Obsessed (HIStory1) -

people might be surprised to see this one so low down, especially since i know a lot of people really love this series (& if u do, no hate to u btw, ur allowed to like whatever u want idc), but i realllllly don’t like this series... like at all ...

the plot is weird anyway, which isnt inherently a bad thing, but then u add on the really bad couple and it’s just...... bad lol... like everything about their relationship is built on lies and deceit, and even more so than that it’s built on a lack of mutual respect and fundamental trust for each other! tall guy (i don’t know names soz) feigns memory loss in order to get closer to short guy (btw, the scenes with them being domestic were really sweet, & i firmly believe this could have been an alright series for the actors if the story line wasn’t so bad), short guy’s whole existence in that universe was a lie lol (like i know there’s no easy way to tell someone ‘lol well i’m technically from the future’ but still), then there’s the whole resolution at the end & it’s just so ??? frustrating lol!

nothing bugs me more than seeing conflict in relationships (on screen or irl) that could be solved simply by TALKING TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT & isnt lol... my other issue with this series is the fact tall guy 100% forced himself upon short guy in the tent & like we’re just supposed to accept it cos ?? he’s saying no and pushing away but actually he wants it because he loves tall guy ?? like fuck no i’m not accepting that lol! 

basically, bad & bizarre story & characters, & gross tropes just makes this hard for me to watch and enjoy lol... i think, like in my hero, this could’ve done with being a different story altogether lol... (maybe tall guy actually did lose his memory & he falls for short guy all on his own with no predatory intentions?? idk something like that)

4) Right or Wrong (HIStory2)

this one & my number 3 are very much tied tbh, but this one is just slightly lower just because i’m not as big into the couple as i know a lot of people are... & it’s not necessarily the age gap, cos i dont actually mind age gaps in pairings (just as long as the younger one isnt a minor, obv... and also i think any gap that’s 30+ years is a bit weird lol..).. i think my big problem with this is i dont really see why younger guy (again, i have no idea of any of these characters’ names lol) would fall for the older guy? like the older guy is obvs going thru some issues, and hasnt been taking care of himself or his kid properly because of them, but like we dont rly see a lot of why he’s a great guy? like we get the sense young guy is attracted to him, but like love is more than just thinkin they’re hot lol... idk lol this might just be me tbh i just couldnt see why he’d be interested lol

i did like the whole family side though, and showing how a man who was previously with a woman can still end up with a guy (bisexualityyyyy (or some variation of that thereupon)) is something you dont always see in media, so i thought that was pretty cool! (even if the ex-wife thing was kinda lame lol...) 

i think overall i see what this series was going for, and that it actually did an alright job in some parts... the biggest problem is that it’s kinda just forgettable lol... maybe that’s why people like obsessed so much lol? maybe it was a train wreck but ohh boy at least u wont forget it in a hurry lol!

3) Stay Away From Me (HIStory1) -

i’m a bit torn about this one, cos there are parts of it i actually really like (them going from rivals/enemies to being good friends to being more), and other parts i really didnt (the stereotypical squealing yaoi fangirl friend)... & tbh, i kinda wish this had just been a show about the budding friendship between the 2 guys... it almost feels too forced to me that they’re made to ‘fall in love’ when i actually think them both becoming less selfish and learning to respect each other as step brothers & friends is actually already a really great story (& i know that it doesnt fit with the whole ‘HIStory’ thing, but stories of platonic brotherhood/’bromance’ are just as important as gay representation... isnt a /substitute/ for representation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always so beautiful to see decently portrayed non-toxic friendships between guys... ok this is a rant for another day tho shhh)

i think maybe why i like this one more than the other HIStory1′s is because kinda nothing happens lol... it’s not overly complex with weird unexplained magic things happening, it’s just a simple story lol... is it still tropey as hell? of course lol! but i think the ‘realism’ of the world really helps, and i def think this was incorporated more into HIStory 2, which i’m really glad about...

overall, this is a relatively harmless series & is actually quite sweet at times... the kiss is awkward as fuck tho (there, i said it lol...)... it suffers the same forgetability as right or wrong tho... 

2) Crossing the Line (/Boundary Crossing) (HIStory2) -

ok, so here’s a series i 100% love & totally agree with the hype around lol! i hav no interest in volleyball (or any sports tbh), but the way this show handles the friendships and dynamics between the characters is really well done, especially for a series that’s only 8 episodes long! i also really love that none of the characters really fall into any stereotypes (which is a great improvement from HIStory1 i can tell u lol), and are given the space to actually have some growth & nuance at times?! 

(nuance? in MY HIStory series?? it’s more likely than you think!)

the main couple have really amazing chemistry, and the way they get together doesnt feel too out of place or that it’s going to fast, it just sorta flows really nicely... even the side couple are pretty well done (though i wasnt that big into them on my first watch, just cos the whole overbearing older brother thing was kinda annoying... i liked them more as the series went on tho...)

i kinda dont have any major complaints? which is bizarre cos i always hav complaints about things lol... maybe my complaint would be that they all look way too old and attractive to be whatever teenage age they’re supposed to be lol... (but tbh that doesnt take anything away from the story so i’ll forgive them lol...)... i think maybe i wouldnt consider it my favourite because the story line didnt grab me like the number 1... but i really cant fault it in terms of what it delivers lol, legit such a well put together series!

1) Trapped (HIStory3) -

lol i think anyone who’s been following me for the past few months aren’t in the slightest bit surprised this is my number one... i just love it too much lol!

from the incredibly well written and well acted characters, to the interesting and engaging (even if a bit ridiculous) plot, to the beautifully told romance , it really has it all doesn’t it!!! & i think even if this wasnt an enemies to lovers thing (aka one of the most godtier of all fanfic tropes), there’s so many things going for this series that make it worth watching! i have a few complains about editing choices and a few bad trope plot points which were just unnecessary (plus the fact we missed out on a lot of background info on some major characters lol...), but like despite everything this series rly struck a chord with me deep down in my soul lol

i could go waaay more into detail (and maybe i will one day lol... tho not rn, i’m v tired), but the gist of the matter is: i really love trapped lol

(conclusion)

Even though i’ve complained quite a bit here, i am so grateful for the HIStory series’ for bringing really interesting, and a little mad, stories with gay characters and story lines, with a big emphasis on happy endings! there are so many lgbt stories/characters in things that end up dying or just have bad endings, which just sends this horrible message that lgbt people aren’t worthy of having happy endings, which is completely untrue! 

So i look forward to future HIStory’s, even if some of them are gonna be bad (& maybe none will live up to the trapped!shaped bullet firmly lodged in my heart lol)

fin~

[writingeverynowand-then]

Say my name. (Modern Ubbe)

“He’s dating?” Came out from Freyja’s mouth without thinking, she was very surprised and her heart felt like it had stopped. 

“Yeah, he and Asta have been hooking up for about a week now” Her friend replied, whilst they ate at the school cafeteria, how could this pass Freyja?

Ubbe, her platonic love since she was nine years old, was dating the girl that was her complete opposite? That was obvious, the girl was gorgeous but if he had at least dated someone that seemed like her it’d give her some kind of false hope that they could be an item some day!

“Good for him” Was her lame reply, the girls looked at her with simpathy, they all knew of her forbidden love for the second oldest Ragnarsson. Her father being best friends with Ubbes father it was normal to assosiate both families.

“You should tell him you like him Freyja”

“Yeah, i would rather not”

“Why? I bet he’s thought of you differently as their family friend”

“Nu-uh, he sees me as a little sister, i’m sure of that”

“Well, make him see you not as a sister”

“and how do i do that?”

“You act differently, Freyja it’s so easy, just smile at him when you walk by him at the hall then do something flirty i don’t know you can like, bite your lip softly and pretend you do it all the time and not just for him, or you can be bolder and wink an eye at him”

“I could never pull that off!”

“Okay, don’t then, stay watching how some other girl takes the love of your life from you”

“You’ve been reading too much fiction”

“Maybe, but you’re a loser too” The girls laughed and the sugestion got stuck in Freyjas mind, it wasn’t such a bad idea to do little things in order to catch Ubbes attention.

------------

“Freyja why don’t you help Ivar choose his outfit?” Auslug asked her when she, besides her family who were sitting in the Lothbroks living room, was waiting for all of them to be ready to go to the cabin they always rented two weeks before the christian holidays.

“Sure” She got up and walked to Ivars room, she knew this house like her own. She couldn’t help but to walk past Ubbe’s room and saw him sitting on his bed frowning over something in his phone.

She didn’t think twice and knocked, Ubbe looked at her and smiled, that soft and warm smile he’d always have for her.

“Hey Frey, what’s up?” He was always so educated, she hated that he was forcing himself to be casual when something was clearly messing him up.

“Nothing, you lot are taking your time getting ready” she replied, pretending she hadn’t seen him frown earlier, she got in his room. Ubbe chuckled, “are you okay?” so her pretending didn’t last long and she could not for her own sake keep her questions to herself,

Ubbe looked down. “I got sent pictures of Asta from a party last night”

“oh, and .. you’re sad you weren’t there?” there was a bitter taste in her mouth asking this

“no, she uh, apparently got drunk and made out with someone else” he frowned again, then he let himself fall on the bed, he couldn’t believe it.

“wow” Freyja exclaimed, she wasn’t good at this at all “have you talked to her?”

“i don’t think i will”

“she doesn’t deserve you, you know that right?”

Ubbe saw her, still lying on his bed, and smiled that true caring smile, she loved it so much it made her hate it, it was so incredibly cute she was dying to kiss it.

“i got you to remind me”

----------------------

A/N:

Okay y’all i have a lot of opinions:

*i started yesterday watching vikings and got so jealous of that FREYDIS OR FREYJA being ivars interest like WHY, WHY COULDNT THEY KEEP HIM LONELY FOR US??? lmao im cringing bout myself right now too i can’t believe im so passionate for ivar man still i guess ill be pissed the whole season for her alone, so expect more ubbe stuff lmaoooo

*rollo man, i’m a slut for all the cast honestly but i’ve missed him, my puppy eyes rollo gosh

*also update remember how i was like send me slutty vibes back in july? i did go on holiday and i liveeeeeeeeeed wink, wink so i do have some inspiration from that ;)

*this will obvs have a second part and it’ll maybe maybe not smutty

ill shut up now hope you enjoyed, love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thanks for following me even though i haven’t posted that much

*ps. alfred turns me on man, him being on charge like oh god

[thorsonofodinsgirl]

Characters: Thor x Reader Tony x Platonic!reader, all the Avengers.  ( Takes place in Age of Ultron and I am considering making this a 3-5 parter. )

Warnings: None, just some fluff? Lifting Mjlonir ? Do they count? 

N/A: I haven’t ever written a Thor imagine before. This is my first one, so forgive me if he isn’t quite in character, I haven’t actually written in an imagine in so long so i’ve started to do them again especially with my love, thor he needs more appreciation. so have any requests? send them in! 

You’d of course been involved with the Avengers for almost a two years now, you were Tony’s assistant and had been since you’d left college and gotten lucky enough to land the internship which turned finally to a job given by the man himself. Sometimes however you were a bit overwhelmed sometimes with the workloads he left you with but you never once complained. You were a lot like Tony which you thought was probably the reason he hired you, you were smart, and as he’d put it “not bad to look at” either although after months he’d warmed up to you completely and now treated you more like a sister or a daughter than an assistant.

However on this particular day, whilst you were working one member of the team had stopped by to see you and you just hadn’t expected it. “Lady Y/N.” The deep but booming voice had instantly brought you out of your thoughts and you had dropped the part of Tony’s armour you had in your hands and you whirled round. “Thor! Hi.” You smiled softly hands clasping behind your back. It was obvious to everyone around you, except for the god of thunder himself, that you had a massive crush on him. Tony teased you about it constantly. “What brings you here?” You asked.

“I was passing by and I thought I’d stop by and ask if you were going to Stark’s party.” Were you going? Was he asking you to go? Did he WANT you to go, did he want you there? Your thoughts running a mile a minute so you didn’t even think before you replied to him. “Yes.” You had actually no intention of going to Tony’s party, you’d declined it already but Tony knew you weren’t one for parties you were more happy to be yourself when you went home. But you’d just said YES to Thor so what the hell would you do now? “Then I will see you here tonight.” He gave that crooked grin of his that you were completely in love with.

“See you..” You called after him as he walked off, your thoughts trailed, many things running through your head as you smiled like a love sick idiot. You stared after him, almost jumping out of your skin when someone cleared their throat. You turned to see Tony smirking at you. “So you ARE coming to the party?” He asked and you sighed in defeat. “Looks like it.” Tony walked over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Don’t worry kid, I’ll make sure you have some fun and let loose.” He smirked again and walked out. “I don’t need to let loose, Tony!” You shouted. Hearing only a ‘Yes you do’ in response.

You’d gotten ready the minute you’d gotten home, you had one dress in your wardrobe, well you had two or three but this one was special. It was one you’d actually picked yourself and your best friend hadn’t picked it for you for some stupid night out. This was for  when you were ready to impress and right now you were ready to impress. Thor especially. Although you felt a little self conscious you felt good. Your hair was all done up, you had some light makeup on and you walked in coming across Steve first.

“Y/N wow look at you.” He said motioning with his hand and he smiled down at you. “Heya Stevie. That look at you is a good thing right?” You ask him curiously but a smile plastered on your face and he nods. “How else can I mean it?” He asked and he nodded his head towards the door to go in further. “Come on we’ll get in, these types of parties aren’t my thing but..” he shrugged and you laugh. “I know they’re not but you’ve got me for company.”

He nodded laughing as the two of you walked in and he wet his lips before you look around finding yourself  looking around for Thor but you couldn’t see him anywhere and Steve nudged you, motioning with his head and you followed his gaze and your eyes landed on the blonde god. He took your breath away, he looked so casual, hair drawn back but loose strands falling against his face, that low cut t-shit. if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were standing with Steve you’d have made your way over to him.

But watching and admiring him talk, laugh and whatever else with some other people was enough for now. But he turned and he finally caught your eye, his face lighting up with a full blown grin on his face and you smiled back at him with Steve pushing you in his direction and before you knew it you were right in front of him. “Lady Y/N you look ravishing tonight.” He smiled and you felt that blush creeping along your skin. “You look good too, as always.” He let out this laugh, booming, loud, that had a few people staring but it made your heart beat all the faster.

And the next few hours happened to be the best you’d had, you were around all your friends, but   eventually the party had died down leaving you, with the Avengers and a few other people. You sat on the floor against Thor’s legs your own stretched out in front of you. Natasha had almost made Steve talk about that ugly date he’d been on but Clint decided to talk about Thor’s beloved hammer. “But it’s a trick.”

You look up at him a laugh leaving you and shake your head. “No, no, it’s much more than that.” Thor spoke holding his flask out to Steve. Clint lifted his hands in exaggeration. “Oh, Who shall ever be worthy shall haveth the power! Whatever man it’s a trick!” More people laughed but you let your head fall back against Thor’s knees to look up at him and he winked at you and looked back to Clint.

“Well please, be my guest.” He gestured at Mjolnir and you smiled looking back at Clint. “ Really? He asked. “Yeah.” Thor spoke and Clint got up walking over to it as if he honestly thought it was some sort of party trick. “Oh this is gonna be beautiful.” Rhodes spoke and you looked over at him with another laugh, being tired, you just didn’t have the energy to actually make anymore conversation.

“Clint you’ve had a tough week, we won’t hold it against you if you can’t get it up.” Tony was now the one to speak and you honestly almost rolled your eyes at him refraining from laughing because you knew he’d make a sex joke but you snicker anyway and look back at Clint as he stubbornly looked back at them all. “You know I’ve seen this before right?” He attempted, and failed to lift it.” His groans as he tried to lift it ended up laughter. “I still don’t know how you do it.”

“I can smell the silent judgement.” Tony snickered and Clint looked over at him gesturing to it. “Please, Stark, by all means.” And of course, Tony got up ignoring the things everyone was saying and he glanced at you, so you all silent gave him a thumbs up. Part of you wanted to see your boss and mentor lift the hammer. “Never one to shrink from an honest challenge. it’s physics..” he trailed off as his fingers went through the leather loop on the end of the hammer. “so if I lift this, I.. I then rule Asgard?”

“Yes of course.” Thor said and you turned your head to look at him again, only for him to smile brightly at you and you looked back to Tony who put his right foot on the table. “I will be re instituting prima nocta.” he said and he went to lift it and he couldnt. So he disappeared coming back a few minutes later with part of his armour and you laughed almost doubling over. “Come on, man. That’s cheating!” You laughed.

“Shut up, Y/N” He smirked and eventually Rhodes ended up helping him. “Are you even pulling?” He demanded and Tony glared. “Are you on my team?!” Tony demanded and you could hear the laughs coming from everyone else and Bruce next. “Just represent, pull” He tried, even pretending to be Hulk when he did.

Steve was next. “Come on Cap.” Tony encouraged and Steve the sweetheart placed both hands on the handle and tried to lift moving the hammer just that slightest little bit and you looked up at Thor with a grin but his eyes had widened but when Mjolnir didn’t budge after that he relaxed and he smiled. “Widow?” Bruce asked looking over at Natasha who instantly shot it down. “Oh, no, no. That is not a question I need answered.” And instantly she looked towards you. “Y/N.”

“What?” You asked looking over at her and she nodded towards the hammer. You cringe as you go try and say no but Tony pipes up. “Come on, Y/N. Just do it.” He says and you puff out some air. “You just want to see me embarrass myself, Stark” You glare at him and he laughs  pushing yourself up off the floor from against Thor’s knees your hands wrap around the hammer’s handle.

You debate whether or not to pretend just not too and you decide that’s what you’re going to do but when you fake trying to lift it, everyone falls silent because you have in fact lifted the hammer right off the table, you’re holding it as though there was no weight to it, effortlessly, and you swallow a lump in your throat as you stare at it. You open your mouth to say something, but no words come out.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Tony speaks and you look at him. Thor has now stood up, eyes wide but a smile on his face. You whirl to face him and as if it’s some sort of way to embarrass you, you push the hammer against his chest, a heat in your face as it has now gone bright red and he looked down at you as you stalk off without so much as another word filled with something you aren’t quite sure about. You’re out of that room with the Avengers and making your way out of the building altogether.

But a hand grabs your arm and whirls you around and your eyes fall on Thor. “Where are you going?” He asked. You shrug gently freeing your arm from his grasp. “Home... You had to have done something so that I could lift that.” You pointed at the hammer in his hand and he shakes his head at you. “No... Lady Y/N You really lifted it on your own, there’s nothing I can do to help someone to lift my hammer.”

You stare up at him full of scepticism and he smiled down at you. “You really are worthy, you lifted Mjolnir.” He said and You try to stop the smile but it creeps through anyway. “Really?” You ask and Thor sets the hammer down as he nods at you. “So what does that.. what does that mean?” You ask and he just shrugs his shoulders without saying another word his larger hands place on your face and he pulls you in for a kiss. Which sends your heart sky rocketing and you melt against him, hands on his that are placed on either side of your face.

The kiss however is interrupted by whistling, shouting and everything else as you both look up to see that the full team are watching you and you have no idea what to do but laugh and hide your face against Thor’s chest and that’s when the real problems begin.