#we achieved nothing with this ep yet I have THOUGHTS

[chalkrevelations]

Oh. My god.

So, last night, I reblogged a gifset of that conversation Pete has with Pol when they’re on stakeout, tailing Vegas, sitting around in the car, and Pete wants to know who Pol thinks would do a better job – Vegas’s bodyguard or Pete? And I added this bit of commentary:

My theory on the closest thing Pete has to a sexual fantasy at this point in the narrative and his life: Pete saves Vegas's life in some kind of shootout or assassination attempt that no one else could have protected Vegas from, thereby earning headpats from Thee Vegas Theerapanyakul, who Everyone Knows is a completely detached sociopath who usually has no more use for his bodyguards than as human bulletproof vests (which is somehow different from the main family for no reason I can discern but apparently exists?). Only now, Pete has proven himself and is both Noticed By and Special To this violent, emotionally inaccessible man (who, as an added bonus, is in a position of power over him). I mean, for whatever variables of "special" Pete can even conceptualize at this point, anyway. And I wonder how many times he's imagined this. It's Pete's very own mafia-filtered version of the Bad Boy fantasy in which you're the only one he cares about - you're the only one who can have that effect on him - and that makes you the Most Special-est Girl. C'mon, who's the most inaccessible Bad Boy in Pete's sphere? Certainly not Kinn, who'll just up and tell Pete that he trusts him the Very Most - even more than Pete's best friend! who Kinn is fucking! - the hot minute that Kinn's coercing Pete into doing something he really, really doesn't want to do. And you know Pete's daydream version of what makes him the Most Special-est Girl involves killing someone the best and quickest and most efficiently - because if he wins in the ring a fight, then the most emotionally inaccessible, violent man he knows (who, as an added bonus, is in a position of power over him) will love him, right? Not to mention, a guy with that many gun posters doesn't get stuck on Tankhun-babysitting detail and not have fantasies about proving his worth via violence. Listen, he just spends an awful lot of time standing around in Vegas's right-hand man spot like he's trying on the position during Ep 7, is all I'm sayin'.

… in which the vague allusions to Pete’s Daddy Issues were absolutely intentional. And I’ve also commented before about Pete finding another home with an angry man at the safehouse. And yet it wasn’t until yesterday’s post rolled up on my own dashboard and I saw it again today that the Brick Of Revelation hit me in the head and I thought about this through the framework of - my god! Pete and Vegas really do play out the very scenario that Pete warns Vegas about when you’re seeking the approval of your father abuser!

In the safehouse, Pete wins. He achieves his fantasy. He pulls the thorn out of the lion’s paw, and he gets the notice and special regard of Vegas Theerapanyakul, and he gets his world rocked on top of that, and then … then it turns out nothing changes. Vegas – the guy who expected that Pete winning in the ring would mean that his father would stop beating him, the guy who continues to seek his own abusive father’s approval, who keeps trying to win against Kinn, in the hope that Kun will stop treating him as a disposable whipping boy – Vegas goes right back to physically and emotionally abusing Pete. On top of that, the fantasy doesn’t play out in reality; Vegas literally tells Pete that he’s nothing special. (I mean, lies, of course, but the fact is that Vegas says it right to his face.)

I just. This is another one of those instances where I walked up to this revelation and even walked all the way around it, poking at it, but I just never looked at it straight on until this moment - the way Pete’s experience in the safehouse so closely mirrors his experience with his father. We watch Vegas continue to recreate the cycle of abuse, and we're like, "oh, dude, you need to make some better decisions," but we've also just spent 2.5 eps watching Pete, dispenser of this very wisdom, fall back into the same patterns he warns Vegas about. Because breaking that cycle and changing your behavior and your expectations is hard. Even when your head knows better. The things this show says about generational trauma and intimate violence and patriarchal control, I just ... god. Just, don't mind me, I have to go claw at some drywall for a while.

Also, it makes me wonder if Pete did kill his father. Because if he ran from home the same way he ran from the safehouse, if we’re supposed to look at this echo forward into the present of what happened in the past, then are we supposed to think that maybe there was a similar confrontation in the past, in which Pete struck out before he extricated himself from the trap he was in and ran?

Vegas is a lot younger and more resilient (and used to being knocked around) than Pete’s dad probably was, at that point.

[bbgliker-teehee]

thoughts on ep 8 (huge spoilers):

-the only thing i had a good laugh at was katie killjoy's "congratulations for charlie and her crew for not being fucking useless for once", and nifty killing adam.

- was alastor's use of the word "fuck" supposed to be intimidating?? it just... ruins his character imo. pilot al would never.

- i despise charlie in that ep ngl. you're the princess of hell, and yet you're completely useless? i swear if she actually stepped up, we could've finally had a female character achieve something, but no. charlie is a baby, and lucifer had to come save her. she had no growth at all. maybe finally tossing the "kind" act to save the people she loves, but no. even pentious dying didn't do anything to her in terms of useful enragement or power. vanny (god, i refuse to call her vaggie) had a whole arc on ep 7 about fighting for the people she loves and how the thought of losing that should empower her, and it did. but with charlie, she just stayed the same. fuck, even angel had more development even if it also doesn't make sense (he is still chained to val and not free, nothing has changed) you can definitely tell viv plays favorites. also, dazzle died and she just?? doesn't acknowledge it???? and "dad pls stop adam has had enough 🥺". he. literally. slaughterd. thousands. of. sinners. for. eternity. what. is. your. issue. you're all about "my people shouldn't be slaughtered" and then defend the guy who is directly responsible.

-its so madly disappointing that in H*B the other sins get over-complicated and large designs when enraged and charlie is just. tail & horns. i like lucifers a tiny bit more but even the literal ruler of hell has a weak "beast" form. also how can they have a whole hellborn species directly referencing baphomet (the candle demons) and then lucifer literally has the horns & the flame too???

- ofc lilith is bad. bet she made a deal to stay in paradise and away from adam.

- "hey one of your patrons died. lets build a new hotel"

- more V's in season 2? oh god. please do one tying right and kill val off. or put him in suffering for all eternity. best thing: angel takes over, kills him, and becomes an overlord replacing val. istg since angel is still stuck i wouldn't be surprised if they did something like episode 4 again.

- i desperately wanted to like something about this show, but its impossible...

sorry for the insane long rant...

The finale was just a big old nothing Burger to me honestly...

Hell, just to be nice I was gonna name something interesting that I actually liked and I couldn't name anything lol

[jmdbjk]

Episode 6: Begin and Again

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

Why is it titled Begin AND Again and not Begin Again? That was my question. Let's delve...

It opens with Hobi working on PROOF, the anthology album. I'm guessing the clip we see was filmed late 2021. Maybe between October and December. He says the concept of PROOF was to organize their numerous narratives and many other parts of their story.

Recording Yet to Come...

While being interviewed individually, I think the question proposed is what are the thoughts that come to mind when thinking about the past ten years and Tae says this: "The vigor of youth, our time as young boys, the time we didn't receive any acknowledgement, and when we pressed on in spite of that, I think that time was the most passionate moment in my life."

Yoongi said perhaps because of their situation at the time of trying to gain ground in their career, they set very high goals and when they achieved them, they weren't satisfied, they wanted to press on to the next goal and that desire was their strength and their weakness, as he says: "their weapon and the chink in their armor."

Jungkook says he often thinks of what he would have become if it wasn't for BTS. He has received so much positive influence from those surrounding him. He feels very lucky to have met the members and believes BTS and everything related to BTS are what created the path for him to mature as a singer and as a person.

Watching them record Run BTS (the song) was amazing. I love that song and watching them have fun in the studio is a healing sight.

They cherish their youth, their first ten years, their "Chapter 1" but they agree, its time to open a new chapter. Begin and again. The pause of the pandemic and beginning again after it was over. The pause for enlistment and the need to begin again when they are back. A lot of beginnings and agains. Begin the period of personal growth. Become BTS again at some point.

PTD Seoul in March 2021 was a situation where a limited number of attendees would be allowed and they would not be able to stand or cheer or sing along or any of those normal things that audiences do during a live concert. It would be a unique situation and possibly may never happen again in the future of live music concerts.

K-Army were thrilled, nervous, excited.

Waiting to go up on stage for sound check they already notice how quiet it is. They speculate amongst themselves whether Army will accidentally cheer. It's funny because we can see both sides as it happens. Yep, the audience accidentally let out an excited cheer upon seeing BTS for the first time after so long and the members are amused when they hear it.

They get started with sound check and reassure Army that they will get through this together.

In the second half of Ep. 6 each member speaks about their thoughts in this initial period where they are beginning "anew" after the pandemic, after they've achieved everything they have so far, after reflecting back on where they've been. They are doing personal things, Jin is fishing, the rap line working on personal projects, etc.

Yoongi says (at the time of this interview) they don't know what to do next (as a group). This is the beginning of their next chapter. Personally, Yoongi says again for the nth time that nothing goes as planned or expected. He would like everyone to have time to figure it out. He personally needs to reconnect with himself.

One of the moments is when Yoongi is in LA recording his part of the collab with Juice WRLD. He is telling the producer that he doesn't want to ruin Juice WRLD's song and the producer says to him: "you can't ruin it, you are only going to make it better"... Suga of BTS is still coming to understand the status he holds in the music industry.

Hobi tells us he will not waste the time until the group is whole again. He has things he wants to accomplish, personal dreams he wants to fulfill. I believe this is one of the reasons why Jack in the Box was ready first and why he enlisted earlier than the others. He was restless to get back into his work.

Jin is a simple guy. He talked about how (at the time of this interview) they had made it to the top and whatever happened, happened, he just wants all the members to live their lives as they want to. As BTS, he wanted the group to be able to do whatever they and the fans wanted to do. He was simply excited to bring back fresh fish to the team and staff after a day-long fishing trip.

RM says the team was telling each other their thoughts on what BTS could be in their 30s and mentioning he was working with The Neptunes which is Pharrell's duo. I wonder when that collab will see the light of day.

The maknae line was wondering how to find themselves since they have tied their identities to BTS, they don't know who they are yet as individuals and they wonder what it will be like. Jimin says they won't know until they live it.

Yoongi says, this is the time for them to get to know themselves.

[jinxini]

was ranking netflix icons with my brother today and as we were looking at the arcane icons i asked him if he has seen the show.

”of course not.”

”why not?”

”it’s about fucking league of legends. i’ve never played that game.”

and i was just like. ok.

—————

UPDATE:

Forced him to watch the first episode with me because i’m annoying af

He said it was fine, he was excited to recognize some of the voice actors. I asked him if he’d like to watch more at some point and he said yes.

So it’s going great! I love being the annoying older sister who wants to share everything

—————

UPDATE 2:

Took a while to get him to watch it but we successfully finished ep 2. He thought it was okay but slow and that it was too repetitive and that not much happened.

He's 100% sure Viktor is evil and he can't understand how everyone around him doesn't instantly see it. Especially since his eyes are yellow (kingdom hearts fans will get it)

He does not like Heimerdinger because a) he looks like he's from a completely different show and b) he hates his name, he said that it sounds like a last name they would use on the simpsons to mock the character

He's so happy about mylo because he's voiced by yuri lowenthal

He says that Jayce looks way too old to be 24

"There's no way Vander will survive this season. Don't know if they're going to kill him off right away or if he's going to die in the last episode. An older mentor who is also kinda responsible for the deaths of the sisters' parents, yeah he's definitely going to die."

—————

UPDATE 3:

We finished ep 3. Sadly, I can tell that he's not really feeling it, not sure why :/ don't know if we're going to keep watching or not, only time will tell.

But here are some of his thoughts about the episode anyway:

My brother said he hopes Heimerdinger gets robbed. He said he hopes he gets robbed multiple times during the show.

Looking at Vi and Powder: "How can these poor people afford to constantly dye their hair"

About Jayce and Viktor and their experiment: ”…so what have they achieved exactly? 😐” THEY WERE FLOATING IN THE AIR AND HE WAS NOT IMPRESSED LMAO

Mel: The era of magic. / Jayce: The era of Hextech. / My brother: Magic sounds better.

"Is she hugging him? Can’t she just look at his face and tell that he’s evil, it’s so obvious. But I guess not, clearly she really is that stupid. [I remind him that Powder is still very young] I would get it if she was like 4, but she’s at least 9. Does she not realize he tried to kill her whole family?"

”They really just killed off like 80% of the characters. No one else is left except for Silco and the sisters. And the council members but I don’t really know them yet. [I remind him that Ekko is still alive] Oh right! They’re not going to kill him, he’s too young.”

”Nothing happened in episode 2 and everything happened in this one.”

[wataksampingan]

Spoilers for Ep 69 COZ OF COURSE I'M SCREAMING (as well as Ep 70 and beyond coz I apparently hate myself and spoiled myself on Naver Webtoon. Again.)

It's a SUPREMELY interesting choice of translation in that scene where Theo has to pretend he knows how to behave like a normal loving husband. The English line the translator chose is "Isn't that right, Pereshati?"

Which is fine, coz 1) he doesn't call her anything different, and 2) this is a far more subtle shift - Theo only says her name in highlighted moments (e.g. when he fell off the bed, when he noticed her a little unsettled by his ferocity in the last chapter). Otherwise, his dialogue doesn't use her name at all. So this is him trying to emphasise their closeness... by using her full name (Lord love you Therdeo Lapileon, you hopeless dork)

However. In the original hangul, he outright calls her 부인 (buin) - 'wife'. Just to hammer in the awkwardness of "HI YES HELLO WE ARE EXTREMELY MARRIED, YES THIS IS MY TRUE, LEGIT WIFE, NOTHING ELSE GOING ON HERE" (the Webtoon comment that called him "an underrated comedy king" should be one of the top comments of the YEAR coz it's truer than we could've ever hoped)

Anyway, in modern usage(?) apparently its considered impolite to refer to your own wife as "buin" (someone better versed in Korean, please enlighten me)? It's more appropriately used to refer to another person's wife. But technically speaking, MILAOWM is set in some... 18th-19th century world so I would argue it could be okay to use...?

It's possible that it could be an equivalent to the way "madam" was used in the Regency era when men would and did call their own wives "madam". It was considered a proper term of address back then so I can only suppose "부인" in this regard can act the same way. But, I also recognise it would be a pain in the ass to translate it as "isn't that right, madam?" and then have the entire fanbase go berserk over why he's calling her something we mostly recognise as a formal term for strangers these days.

The... unofficial, let's say, translation went with "isn't that right honey?" which, while it would have achieved the same effect as 부인on the readership, also isn't quite the most accurate read on the line.

Literally speaking, the translation would have been: "Right, wife?"

...which would have been hilarious, but also WAY too close to Borat and just... undermines his dignity as a ML, possibly to irreparable extents (maybe? I don't think I would have minded coz there is really no fooling us at this point: Theo can do cool things if he puts his mind to it, but his default is Socially Awkward)

But because I'm biased: just you wait, Perry. We're all waiting with you for the time he smiles at you with his whole heart and you MELT - JUST WAIT.

Anyway, I thought that was just interesting and just makes me determined to keep Google Translating my way through the Naver versions. Also reading it on Naver is how I found the April Fool's 4koma and let's not go there coz I'm already thoroughly distracted.

The hand holding is just icing on the cake. Theo shattered me into pieces for a variety of reasons, but the hand holding is just *chef's kiss*. At this point, this is all progress on Theo's part ("if it's Pereshati, it's okay also I'm in love but no one say anything about that yet") it'll be another long wait until she figures out that she's fallen for him (so we hope) We are all Vicountess Otiz at this point.

We are also all Gloria Lapileon. MADAM. YOUR GRACE, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING.

That determined LOOK on her face in Episode 70 after she sort of denies Daniel a chance to play Cupid since Theo clearly hasn't made any progress in wooing Perry. That is the expression of a Grandmother with A Plan to Help Her Awkward Grandson Win the Hand of the Fair Lady who Saved Her Great Grandson/Family. I know she's been given the idiot ball to hold this whole time with regards to her own family and their household, but I love this matriarch and I wish her every success.

Meanwhile, the other current love of my life, Pereshati - is so tired of shenanigans and having to worry about so many people. I'm crying. She literally mutters to herself, "Why am I surrounded by weak* men?" and the bodyguard nearby, in utter shock, thinks to himself 'd-does she mean even the Grand Duke?'

[*the 'weak' here can refer to physically weak in hangul]

Just to preempt the "PERESHATI DON'T BE MEAN" comments, look at this from her perspective:

Count Jahardt: been sickly most of her adult life

Theo Lapileon: has just recovered from seizures, severe blood loss and a 3 day coma, and is honestly more fragile than he lets on

Adeus Potson: has been hurt twice, looks like a puff of air could blow him over

Celphius Lapileon: probably not included in her list, but he's still a wee babby, also full of toxic blood, and must be protected at all times

She's just so tired, guys. Exhausted by everything. Men, essentially (the women are also exhausting but they're not as fragile).

Also she doesn't have the full picture of the kind of demons Theo has been fighting/Adeus' true motives (though that is about to come SHOOTING OUT THE LEFT GATE) so we'll see how this shakes out eventually if/when she finds everything out.

I am not ready for Ep 75 being the season 1 finale. Truly I am Not Ready, but it must be done of course. I don't know how seungu is doing but I hope they're able to rest and recuperate and take care of themselves so this series can continue fucking me up being lovely and the target of my current obsession.

Shout out to Islette and Phineas - please let this father-daughter side relationship be given a spin-off/side stories coz poor Islette has been subjected, undoubtedly, to Phineas' unceasing tutoring coz he's a well-meaning worrywart and probably wants her to get up to the level of literacy she should have at her age (regardless of the trauma) and I just want to see how Phineas learns and grows to become the most whipped papa in the world

Honestly: who run this world? Girls.

(Okay, girls AND Marvin and Celphi, coz that map foreshadowing is heavy; why is Schwartz not considered a vassal state of Castor, despite having been defeated recently? HMMM.)

[backjustforberena]

When the ep first aired i thought corlys going to war right after the death of his children was some form of escapism, a way to not deal with the grief, the blame and whatever else he was feeling or even to deal with it by externalising all those emotions in the form of violence (i'm reminded of rob stark slashing a tree with his sword when he got the news of ned's death), hurting others so as to numb his own pain. I think he also couldn't deal with rhaenys's pain and the idea that she might blame him for everything, or the idea that the massive loss they suffered could finally be the thing that breaks them (they already seemed to be experiencing a rift when it was only laena, so i can't imagine the tension in the room after laenor died too)

'To elude a storm you can either sail into it or around it, but you must never await it's coming'. Corlys leaving as the storm gathers and staying away for years... but coming back ready to give up everything, to count his losses and his blessings. Coming back to make things right with rhaenys and he doesn't waste a second to do it.

On the other hand Rhaenys stayed in driftmark, ruled it and fostered baela. She faced her grief every day, she hardened with pain, with resentment to the people responsible for her children's deaths, with resolve to survive and to love. She walked through the rooms where her children lived and died, where she was happy with the husband who then sailed away.

'With a glad cry and a crack of her whip she turned Meleys toward her foe...'

(And then there's laenor quoting his father as he plans to join another war that will take him away from the problems at home; there's laenor facing the storm that gathers around him and chosing to sail away. There's laena who knows she's gonna die and with the little energy she has left she stands up and walks towards it, demands that it happens on her terms.)

Firstly, I am so sorry this has been languishing in my inbox. I should have answered it sooner than this. Thank you for sending it in, I do love it when I get long asks like that that just want engagement and a chat and just general nerdiness over whatever character or show we share in common!

I totally understand your feelings regarding Corlys leaving as some form of escapism. I think that's part of what it was. Not all. But definitely part of it. It's Corlys returning to a place where he is, ironically, at his most comfortable: battle. The black-and-white battle where all you have is your goal and the way to achieve that is simple. No hesitation, no greyness, just survival. Victory or loss. Alive or Dead. Good or bad. Something or nothing.

I've said this before but I'd be really interested to know what Steve and Eve were told about this second massive time jump and about the circumstances that separate Corlys and Rhaenys. I think there's enough to go on to get a reasonably accurate inference, but obviously, we have nothing explicit.

My other reasons that I think Corlys goes off to sea is not only for escapism and to wrestle with his own grief but it's also something to do. And Corlys has been shown, again and again, to be a pretty bolshy man, pretty proactive, pretty self-serious. He has his version of justice and an honour code, whatever you may think of that, and so his normal recourse, as the quote you give alludes to, is to do something.

The thing is that, after Laenor's death, he can't do something. Whatever justice he wants for his son, he cannot get. He can't even try. We have the version of the book where Corlys is front and centre in the aftermath. It happens on his own turf (not as close as in High Tide but the impact is still there), he collects the body himself, and it's whispered that there was a plot to kill Laenor, but also that the murderer was identified:

Yet there was no shred of proof, then or now, though the Sea Snake offered a reward of ten thousand golden dragons for any man who could lead him to Ser Qarl Correy, or deliver the killer to a father’s vengeance.

Whilst the circumstances surrounding Laenor's death are drastically changed, the impact on Corlys's character is probably very similar. We don't see if this line of the story was followed (reward, search, blame on Qarl), but Corlys, in the show, wholeheartedly believes that his son was murdered and the murder was caused by Rhaenyra, and by extension, Daemon as well.

Corlys has all the gold, might and anger that a man can have... but he cannot touch Rhaenyra and Daemon. Nor can he make peace with that fact. Nor is he content to sit and watch it all play out. I can absolutely see a situation where Corlys wants to do something and, once again, Rhaenys has to talk him off the ledge because they have their grandchildren to think about. Rhaenys wouldn't have been able to stand having access to those kids revoked.

So Corlys leaves. He thinks he's disappointed his wife. He can't get justice for his son. He's lost his daughter. He thinks it's all for nothing. It's too much. If Laena's death exposed the rifts, then their son's death broke them. If Laenor had lived, I believe, with time, they would have been fine. But losing Laenor and everything that comes with that and that fallout... that breaks them. Corlys wants to achieve, to prove himself, to gain glory and victory, probably, and do something right, when he let his family down. To perhaps feed his own ego, to prove a point to himself... but I wouldn't be surprised if it is, in his own way, a way to make amends with his wife. A way to prove that he isn't useless: that he can protect what is left of their house. I think Steve said that he leaves the family home because he thinks he let Rhaenys down.

And Corlys can leave, because he's a man. Rhaenys can't. Rhaenys is powerless to face anything other than her grief. It's the same as the chat by the fireside. Corlys leaves her and Rhaenys stays seated. He can look away from the situation and Rhaenys has no choice but to face it. Rhaenys is relegated to a role that relies on passivity but engagement. An "almost but not quite" state. She rules, but only as a regent. She's a political player, but only on the outskirts. She's a Targaryen, but not really. A Velaryon, but not really. She's a mother... but she isn't. A wife, but with no husband. A player, but in the shadows. She sees everything, and predicts it all, but she cannot prevent it and she cannot shape it.

It's interesting that you tie her continual role as an observer and griever alongside her death because, thinking about it, Corlys and Rhaenys are exceptionally well-balanced. It can cause friction, and does cause friction, obviously, but it also means debate. When one is on the sidelines, the other is in the fray. When one is speaking, the other is listening or observing. When one is in front, the other is defending. When one wants to deal with a situation, the other practices caution etc etc etc. They have each other's interests and each other's back. There always seems to be this binary strength to them - a yin and yang that's not quite opposites attract but certainly makes them a well-rounded, formidable couple. It seals them together as a unit.

[vinxwatches]

the bad batch season 2

really liked season one, trough probably too much because i headcanon Omega as trans.

Omega is badass now? cool.

Cid is damn manipulative... by having a valid point.

the call for adventure of the season: help people. they are good people, helping when the opportunity arises, seems like they'll be making the step to looking for places to help.

i just realized something i really like in this over clone wars: people can't die. don't get me wrong, it was neat, but it also meant you wouldn't get to know the cast. in this the cast is an actual cast.

oh, that's one fucking cliffhanger, strong opening.

stop being stupid, you can't run on a broken leg... i mean you can, but you shouldn't.

they were hunted by Wilco... the name sound familiar, but my memory for names is ass. also he's dead now, so not that it really matters. i literally caught it on his death grunt.

i do like the message, but i wonder where they'll be going with it.

Crosshair episode? also cody again, probably about to die too.

there's always something neat about a sniper just sniping overly well.

maybe not, maybe cody is able to leave and live. more likely not. the only reasonable way to achieve that is by linking up with Rex or task force 99. and i don't recall him being with Rex in rebels.

well damn, he went awol. hope we'll see him again.

i love a good race, especially layed out well, and it was. good episode

ok i'll admit it my gay hart is losing it over phee, worried she'll turn out to be the villain, or at least not trustworthy.

pre jedi stuff. how will not force users make it trough here. also they're going big with the music.

i was sure it would be a kibar cristal (lightsabre core). oh, it's big.

so i really did recognise him... HOW?!

the message of the show seems to me "people need their people". now this isn't a bad message, but is easily malformed.

ah, so wookies are argonians.

"don't stand where i'm flamethrowing"

i really like where she moved. how she seems to have grown... it's probably going to get her killed isn't it? ep 7 btw.

i love the leitmotifs.

damnit two parter? i need to prepare, not need to watch part two... oh well.

Echo's role is always the most questionable to me, but here they really found a role for him.

fuck he's such a politician. (yes that is obviously an insult)

feels fitting for Echo, the old squad reuniting... yet also we know this isn't where he ends up. after all i watched rebels.

hello purple hair, should i know you already?

and it's given proper weight, nice.

tech is autistic isn't he? because my god can he be almost stereotypically oblivious. damn growth for tech. also yea you'll always lose against water.

oh, this really just is the neurodivergent episode... and i think it's handled pretty well. episode 9. Techs and Omega's conversation around 22 minutes is very good.

nope purple hair is not someone we know, and definitely doesn't have cool feather hair.

ugly and disabled means evil... not a fan.

the workers suffer while and to increase the profit of the company? what a new story, good thing such things never happen in the real world /s. if only the solutions were ever more realistic. revealing the truth never changed anything. but obviously disney doesn't want to tell that.

a broken space dropping out of hyperdrive?

oh shit, they're continuing with what i thought was a dropped plotpoint. but why though? what do they plan to do with this plot now?

Rex? doesn't look like him, but certain talks like him. and i don't just mean same voice. i mean how and what he says. ep 12

oh, is this the deserting episode? they have been building it up.

in case it wasn't obvious enough the empire was evil and a bunch of dicks.

welcome to cold, the cruellest, slowest killer. the cruellest part may be the hope. there's nothing you'll survive better then cold, because while it kills you it also preserves you. you can hope to make it, until the moment you die. and the people who find your body will feel that same hope until your corpse is warmed up. it's a blessing too, for you'll survive it more often then drowning, but the hope is cruel.

damn that ending though.

are they planning to split to group up further? i mean probably the right decision, but not healthy for the series i think. they are making this play too idyllic, like 80% sure it'll either be destroyed or secretly evil. the only reason i'd say maybe not is because they seemed to have put too much afford into the assets to throw it all away. of all the enemies to throw at the it, this is one of the most mundane and with that cool. especially in it's accuracy.

also did they hint at this ship before? i didn't notice it but i'm notoriously bind to this type of ship. or did they introduce it in this episode.

that ship sure looks like the ghost.

"i suggest i you proceed before i come to my senses"

two things i still really like: Wrecker is allowed to be afraid of heights and it's not a flaw. a hinderance and a weakness, sure. but everyone has those. it's not something that's wrong with him that must be changed. Omega is trusted with important tasks and is competent. she's not just a tag along kid, she's an actual member of the team with useful skills like any of them.

there's going to be more then one team working here, that'll be a problem. called it, and called it... fuck. this season won't end in a successful rescue. they better be getting a season 3.

on no. i see the solution, Tech does too. please don't. yet you must. fuck. come on, it's too early in the episode for a mayor character death. right? unless the rest of the episode it to come to terms with the loss. i'm wrong... right? i mean... the start of the episode did set it up, but, like.. no?

this feels like an episode where they all die... but that can't be. they have an unresolved plot. whatsit fuck face needs omege, she needs to be captured and then rescued. that's how those plots go. everyone can't die, not yet at least, the plot demands it... right?

ok... they "salvaged" him. that has to mean he's alive... right? fuck i already know a friend of mine would call out my hopium.

another female clone? the fuck? also how can you be here? do what you do? that just doesn't make sense? trying to improve the system from the inside? that won't work with the empire, and if you were a mole you'd be a shit one. they're really hoping they'll get another season.

[my-mt-heart]

I have a hypothetical question. When you have two relatively famous people with a solid fanbase and you want to do a project with them. You're using their names to promote the project even before certain plans were made. You're using the current project to hype the new one, with interviews, maybe callbacks and you work hard to achieve the best possible foundation for your new project for bigger profits, right?

It happened as soon as they announced the SO.

What might have been the reason to push one out? There was always the possibility to loose the hype, a solid fanbase and might lessening the profit?

The first announcement said, "creative decision". What might that mean?

They thought one main character might be more favorable? They wrote the storyline and thought, it's not what we envisioned? The two main cast members wanted different routes, different storylines and wouldn't find a common ground? (Would back up the rumors months before announcement)

The second statement was "relocating became impossible". Well, the plan was always different, for years and was published and mentioned multiple times even in the main show.

Why would they take such a risk and not fight for a better solution and then continuing with one person? Why?

Then the surprising announcement of yet another show...

The first 8 months of 2022 were just a weird collection of wrong choices and especially bad PR. (Which doesn't seem to end)

Hypothetical, what must happen to make such a decisions? I don't understand why someone thought it was a bright idea? Saving money (millions) for another project? Favorising one star for his creative imput and more freedom story and location wise? Someone who stated he wouldn't do it without his best buddy? (Obviously not his co-star)

Why would anyone take the risk?

If MMB had backed out, she would have to pay a shit ton of money at that point. Wouldn't she have been more supportive with a fair deal?

I don't understand the logic? Have you heard of something similar before? How did that play out?

There's nothing hypothetical or similar about what happened to the original spinoff. It's a unique situation that was handled extremely unprofessionally.

Here's Gimple's explanation of what he thinks a "creative" decision is (From the NYCC press conference in October):

For the record, everything he says is a smokescreen. There is no creative reason to write Carol out if Melissa already signed on. He's just rationalizing why he didn't want Melissa in S1, why he had no use for her in S1. A creative decision, as opposed to creative differences, is not something any PR team would approve of, hence why TVLine amended it after breaking the story.

The location issue is the reason both AMC and Melissa's team legally agreed to, but it falsely assumes every fan who reads that doesn't understand how contracts work. Unless there was a medical emergency/illness, which there was not, the only way she could back out is if AMC wanted her out. They bought whatever misogynistic bullshit the EPs tried to sell them, misreading the market themselves, probably because they failed to do any real market research at all just like with the title. They thought Daryl was the most essential character. They not only pushed out Melissa, but also a highly profitable fanbase they had in Caryl fans. The backlash and the numbers for S1 should've been a huge eye-opener, but even with Melissa back now, a lot of Carol/Caryl fans are still being alienated with ridiculous comments like Gimple's above, and things that Norman, Nicotero, and Zabel are saying as well.

So, anon, if your main question is how are all these decisions being made, the answer is pettiness, ego, misogyny, and poor business ethics. As others have said, I was so hopeful it would all end with Melissa's return, but that's not what I'm seeing.

[major-knighton]

Akdjslfjs understandable. There are three dark-haired bewhiskered dudes in this show.

Anyway, let's do this. I rewatched the series and realized they do interact but never for a long time, but just long enough for Little to demonstrate himself the only officer somewhat capable of handling Hickey, or at least stand his ground against him, which is noteworthy bc Little's biggest character flaw is letting people walk all over him. That interaction is in Ep 6 when Hickey makes a dig at Crozier's "gastritis" and Little just kinda stares silently at him like he's a mouldy potato for a minute until Hickey leaves. Nothing spectacular but much better than Crozier, Hodgson or Irving have ever achieved with him. Just thought it was an interesting tidbit.

So, what makes me say they're mirroring/narrative foils is that one might say they're the two that get the most shit from Crozier. (Jopson has to put up with a lot but Crozier acknowledges him positively and Fitzjames gives as good as he gets). The first difference is obviously that Hickey classes very low in the hierarchy and Little is literally the second in command, most important man after Crozier himself. And yet! Crozier seems to occasionally forget that Little is like... A human being. Who shouldn't be sent out 4 times in a dangerous storm just to fetch him some whiskey without a please or a thank you (or at all) in Ep 5.

Hickey gets the violent bit of Crozier's disdain, with the lashing, Little gets the neglecting one.

So they'd have more or less equal reasons to mutiny out of spite, especially since Little was already effectively running the ship during Crozier's detox. The mutineers clearly thought so, seeing how Tozer makes two or three attempts to rope Little into the plot with decreasing subtlety. But Little doesn't give in or waver in his loyalty, he even tries to convince people to save Crozier after he's captured, and won't even let himself die until Crozier finds him again at the end. None of his resentment against the captain is ever expressed or exteriorized unless you count his perpetual sad face, bc as previously mentioned he lets himself get bullied pretty easily. So he's kind of a foil to Hickey, who obviously grows to hate Crozier more with every slight, be it real or perceived. They're the too extremes : too much resentment pushed past rationality and not enough.

This is where I find it fascinating that, despite not liking Hickey himself, Little is the one to come to his defense twice. First, in Punished As A Boy, he reminds Crozier that there's a procedure to follow before you can lash someone, and Crozier shoots it down. Tbh that is Little's role as First Lieutenant, to kinda keep the captain in check. But the second time, after Irving's murder, Little has a brief moment of growing a spine and questions Crozier's certainty that Hickey killed Irving, and even insists so much that Crozier threatens him too.

Hickey is a nobody who hoisted himself into the spotlight at any cost, Little should be second only to Crozier but is almost a non-entity. Hickey gives himself agency, somehow Little loses all of his very quickly.

And I'm thinking, why? Is it because Little knows how Crozier can be when he doesn't like someone, with or without reason? Because he feels like he must protect the men against Crozier's anger? Does he feel a bit of pity/sympathy for Hickey? Or not trust Crozier's judgement? It's so weird trying to reconcile that with his unwavering loyalty for the man.

(I'm tempted to go for the second option, because as much of a doormat as he is for himself, the few times we see Little oppose Crozier are to defend someone else - Hickey but also Silna)

And then, there's the fact that while he corrupts Hodgson and stabs Irving, Hickey never directly tries anything with the first lieutenant (lesson learned from their almost-wordless face-to-face in Ep 6?) and when it comes to confronting him over the armory, he delegates to Tozer instead. Which is weird, bc surely the abuse of one Very Tired Edward Little would not be a secret for Hickey, why would he not even attempt to use it to his advantage? One gets the feeling that they are, on some level, almost aware of their mirroring each other, and give each other a wide berth bc neither of them like what they see.

But what wouldn't I have given for a full conversation between these two. About Crozier. About loyalty. About responsibility. About self-esteem. About clemency. About privilege, too. And above all about the choices that they made, or were unable to make, that led to them being where they ended.

Sorry I can't word this coherently but your Hickey and Crozier meta is always fire so. I think I noticed a strange, very discreet mirror situation going on between Hickey and Little.

My first point of reference was that there are several instances where Crozier is planning to punish Hickey and Little is like uh sir he does have rights there's a procedure here ("a full court martial is required" |"what evidence do we have against him?") and it made me think how Hickey is actively leading the rebellion amongst the various men who feel wronged or abused by Crozier, and that he gets on it basically the moment Crozier hurts him

And then Little gets treated like absolute shit by Crozier almost the whole time and he never wavers in his loyalty, even when Tozer is outright calling it all out during the mutiny. He even wants to go rescue Crozier from the mutineers and holds off dying until he is sure Crozier is still alive

And like. It kills me that they never interact? Bc I feel like they could've had a really interesting conversation? The fact that Little is the only officer who tried to kinda defend Hickey but also the one who opposed him the most in terms of their relationship to Crozier?

Idk man I'd love to hear your thoughts

i'm so sorry man, this seems really well thought out on your part. but i don't remember which one little is.

[whence-the-woody]

Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 

[baureidalvez]

Angels Chasing Demons • Spencer Reid

This is my first Criminal Minds blurb! I'm new to the fandom and haven't even watched the whole thing yet (at the start of s11!) but I couldn't resist writing a little something. Feedback and reblogs would be SO appreciated, as I'm a little nervous to post this!

Summary: you try to hide your feelings from Spencer after he got shot, with little success. Mainly just lots of fluff and emotions!

Word count: 2,181

Episode: 🚨S9 ep 23/24🚨

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?”

You plump up the cushion behind Spencer’s head, being careful not to jostle him, noting the wince in his throat as he settles against the sofa. He nods as much as he can, a small smile on his lips, now that he’s out of the stiff hospital bed and back in your flat where he belongs. He’s on strict bed rest; Rossi told you to hide his work phone for at least a week, but you know he won’t allow that. You know it’ll barely be a few days before he’s asking for it again.

“I think I’m as comfortable as I can be for someone who just got shot in the neck,” He replies, the usual sarcastic twinge to his voice. “You know, the doctor told me that the bulle-“

“Babe,” You swallow the lump in your throat and try not to let Spencer see the tears in your eyes, this being one of the reasons having a profiler as a boyfriend is so inconvenient. You can’t hide anything. He narrows his eyes as he observes you, a free hand reaching to squeeze one of yours. “When it’s been more than a few days and you’ve healed and rested, you can tell me all about the science behind you being shot. For now, I don’t want to hear it.”

He nods once more and remembers that you haven’t seen the things he’s seen; it’s not part of your daily routine to find dead bodies and analyse every aspect to work out who committed such a thing. It’s engrained in him now, it’s second nature – you can listen to so much, but when it’s regarding the sweet man sat in front of you, you can barely look at him without wanting to burst into tears. There has been many tears over the past few days – first following the call from Garcia, and then again in the waiting room as Blake tried to keep you sane.

“I do need one more thing,” He murmurs, his hand still clutching yours, thumb stroking over the back like he doesn’t want to let go. “Will you lay with me?”

There’s nothing you want more than to be close to him, yet you know you need a minute to compose yourself. From hearing that he got shot to waiting for him to come out of surgery, to then hear that Garcia had saved him from being shot once more in a place that should have been safe – it’s all been a little too much. You lean forward to brush a chaste kiss to his lips, his gaze set on you as he waits for your answer. “Of course. Just give me two minutes, okay? There’s definitely three more care packages outside the door that I need to bring in before one of the neighbours takes them.”

“Okay.” He whispers, and you kiss his forehead before tucking the thick blanket over his lap, with a promise to be back in a moment. He sighs and knows that you’re not okay. He’s not okay either – he knows it’s only a matter of time before the nightmares start again, and he won’t be sleeping, but somehow it was easier to deal with when it was just him alone. Now you’re around too, he hates being the cause of your upset. He lays back against his cushion as you close the door to the apartment, and it’s barely a few seconds before tears are slipping down your cheeks. You were right, there is another care package sat on the doorstep, which you know is from Garcia. It’s not the reason you’re out there though, in the silent hall, the only sound being the sobs you’re trying to conceal at the thought of your boyfriend inside. It’s so hard seeing him in pain. He loves everyone around him, he loves his job, he’s dedicated his life to catching the bad guys and protecting people, no matter what it takes. He doesn’t deserve the pain he’s been through, and every time he’s called to a case, you pray to some higher being to keep him safe. Nothing makes your heart race more than an unexpected phone call or a text, your mind instantly going to the worst scenario possible. In this case, it almost had been.

Spencer may be off work and on bed rest, but it doesn’t stop the profiler part of his brain from being awake. He hears the sound he was expecting to hear as soon as you close the door, and it goes straight to tug on his heartstrings. Sometimes he doesn’t have all of the answers, and he doesn’t know what to do. He knows he shouldn’t get up from the couch, and he’s not sure he’ll physically be able to without injuring himself further. He clears his throat before trying to call out your name.

“Honey…” He calls again, when your name doesn’t get your attention. Not enough to come back inside anyway. “I really want to be able to comfort you right now but I physically can’t move, so, can you come back inside please?”

You chuckle behind the door through your tears and shake your head, feeling silly for thinking even for a moment that he wouldn’t know what you were doing. Swiping the tears from under your eyes, you compose yourself as much as you can, picking up the picnic basket full of snacks and tea before pushing the door open again.

“I manage to salvage this one before next door got hold of it,” You try to laugh it off, but he hears your voice wobble, and his eyes follow you as soon as he spots you. “It’s from Garcia again, she left a not-“

“Babe.” He sighs, cutting you off from rambling about anything other than the current situation. “Come here, please? You don’t have to hide from me.” Warm tears are cascading down your cheeks once more when you realise there’s no concealing it, there’s no way to keep it hidden anymore. You don’t want to push him away, but somehow your upset seems less valid than his – he’s the one who had to go through the physical pain, he got shot, it should be you taking care of him. Spencer doesn’t see it that way, though.

“Please don’t cry because of me, love,” He murmurs as you sit down next to him, pressing your face against his sweater covered chest. He wraps his arms around your body and pulls you in close, tucking your face against his shoulder, wetness from your eyes hitting the material as you cry. “Shh, I’m right here, now.”

He lets you cry it out for a few minutes, soothing sounds slipping from his lips, a warm hand rubbing the top of your back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You know you should, that you’re going to have to at some point, although you don’t even know where to begin. Spencer stalls for a few moments though, giving you another minute to calm down.

“Did you know, crying is actually a good thing? Research has found that crying actually does make you feel better, and the lump that you feel in your throat, isn’t actually a lump at all. It’s your autonomic nervous system going into high alert, which enlarges the glottis, the opening in your throat which allows you to get more air in to your lungs. It’s the tension between trying to open and close your glottis that makes it feel like a lump.” He keeps going and all you can do is smile, even though the words aren’t registering; you’re just happy to have your Spencer back and in one piece. “But.. even though it’s a good thing, it doesn’t make it any easier for me to see.”

Spencer feels an urge to comfort people, he hates seeing people cry. He remembers the unsettled feeling in his stomach that he feels whenever he sees JJ cry, or he finds a survivor who can do nothing but let out their emotions. He’s no stranger to crying himself, and if he’s honest, seeing you fall apart in his arms has his own eyes burning.

You rub your cheek against the material of his sweater, the smell soothing and familiar, much different to the clinical scent that clung to him after his hospital stay. “Spence… we almost lost you.”

Your mind flashes back to the beeping of machines, Blake’s arms wrapped around you in the waiting room, clinging onto any shred of hope that he was going to pull through the surgery. You vaguely remember a conversation between Blake and JJ, about how Spencer wants to have kids, and Rossi saying he’s too smart to die – he has too much to live for. It’s all true. He has the rest of his life to live and knowing he got close to almost not having that, is enough to scare you to death.

“We didn’t know if you were going to pull through. My heart sinks every time my phone rings, I just get so worried about you… and then I actually got that call.” You explain, unsure where you’re headed, but knowing he needs to hear it. He listens as you cry in his arms, his thumb gently brushing each tear away as it falls. “I know this is your job, your life, and I would never take that away from you. You’re amazing at what you do, and the world needs you. I just wish I could know that you’re safe. People shouldn’t be allowed to hurt someone like you.”

He exhales through his nose as he thinks of the situation from your perspective. Obviously, he was worried, but he always pushes it to the back of his mind when he’s in the heat of the moment, doing anything he can to protect others around him. He pushed Blake out of the way to keep her safe, and he’d choose that option every time. In the moment, he doesn’t think of the repercussions. It always happens so quickly, and the next thing he knows he’s in the back of an ambulance on the way to the hospital. He hates seeing people that he loves in pain, and he hates getting those calls too. He’ll never forget the feeling of finding out that Garcia had been shot, or that JJ had been tortured. It’s a ball of anxiety that sits in the pit of his stomach, and he realises that must be how you feel, every time he goes on a case.

“The world would be a better place if no-one ever got hurt. I like to think my job plays a part in trying to achieve that,” He replies, fingertips trailing up and down your back as he speaks. “There’s always going to be more cases, more bad guys, but every day, we put more of them away. I know it’s dangerous, but it’s a part of me now..”

“I know, and I don’t want to change that about you.” You assure him, squeezing his hand to get his full attention. “I’m not asking you to change anything. I just wish you didn’t have to get hurt, or be in pain. I’m too scared of losing you. You have too much to give back to the world for that to happen.”

“I love you.” He murmurs, making sure to look right at you, your eyes locked on his. “I know I’m not easy to be with, I’m away a lot, and I get hurt… but everything feels easier with you around. And I wish I could move my neck so I could kiss you right now.”

You laugh and carefully sit up as not to jostle him, moving your face closer so the tip of your nose nudges his. “I love you, too.”

Spencer steals the first kiss, his soft but slightly chapped lips brushing yours, moving his head as much as he can so your foreheads touch. You kiss him back with as much love as you can muster up, wanting him to feel every inch of it, knowing that he does. You sigh contentedly, feeling better after your discussion, but knowing he has a long way to go to heal. The kissing is interrupted by the sound of his phone, and you shake your head, remembering Rossi’s orders to keep it away from him and to not let him answer.

“My phone, can you get it? I can’t move,” He asks, looking around the room from where the sound is coming from.

“Nope,” You reply, shaking your head, punctuating the sound with another kiss to Spencer’s lips. “Strict orders from Rossi, no phone for at least two weeks. You need to rest, and I’m about to go and turn it off.”

He watches as you push up from the sofa, going to find his bag, and pulling the vibrating phone from the front pocket. He shakes his head as he hears you head to the bedroom, keeping it tucked away whilst he recoups. He’s in pain, and he knows he doesn’t have an easy road ahead, but with you to take care of him… somehow, things don’t feel so bad.

**

Feedback would be appreciated! Let me know what you think here <3

[nolabballgirl]

What do you think of the season so far? To me it just seems they created a nice version of Constantin along ismail side for mlm shippers idk it’s just ok. I guess the final build up will be is he gonna stay by sasha side or Constantin/Lou and that is kinda boring to me ngl

hi, Anon! thanks for your ask! so it’s wayyyy too soon to make a judgment call (let’s not forget eps 1-2 of eskam s4 😬) but it’s okay enough so far. there are things i like, a lot i’m mostly meh/ambivalent about, and things that i dislike. like you said, i do hope they don’t substitute the constantin/lou vs. sascha dynamic in place of a real reckoning between ismail/ava because that would be such a cop out and not that interesting. so a few thoughts:

what i like:

aesthetics/framing: the season is aesthetically pleasing so far. the scenes solely focused on ismail interacting with the world are quite nice.

ismail’s family: i’m such a sucker for immigrant family dynamics and the use of turkish not just by mama inci but even between the next generation (ismail and umut) when they are by themselves is so refreshing and true to life. and i want to see more of the ismail/umut dynamic after that tough clip. shades of bilal/zak from skam france. and of course more exploration of being turkish in germany and what that means.

meh/whatever:

sascha/lou: yeah i’m not particularly taken with either of these new characters yet. as jen pointed out in her ep. 1 master post, there’s really nothing we get from sascha that couldn’t have been achieved using ava so idk.

instas dynamic: sorry but the instas don’t seem to have changed or really had all that much growth yet (with some limited exceptions from kieu my and zoe) to have me as invested in them or care about them as i do about the cashqueens. i mean what’s ismail even thinking re: past conduct/bullying? has it sunk in? but whatevs, i’m guess i’ll always just be a girlsquad supremacist. 💁🏽‍♀️

no me gusta:

no more jünglinge: so from what i’ve seen online and reinforced by flora’s post, it seems like there will be either a very reduced or complete lack of involvement by the jünglinge team this season. which just makes me so sad because they were really a breath of fresh air in the skamverse. and will always appreciate the diverse and thoughtful casting decisions they made. (and their absence may explain all my issues with this season thus far tbh).

lack of nora/josh/sidelining of ava, etc.: the complete lack of anything about nora/josh is so noticeable at this stage and for me, makes the transition away from the cash queens feel all the more jarring. at least drop some social media or something. i mean we had a lot of the other characters throughout the other seasons so it stands out to me more now. (others have said this but not the best first week for the social media team). and i really hope we get more with ava and ismail and not sascha as a proxy for ava. enough dancing around the issue.

[oatmilkovich]

I'd really love if you made a post about Noel's acting this episode! If you still want to

hey!! <3

this episode reminded us (not that we needed the reminder, looks at the writers) what the show is missing out on when they reduce the characters and their storyline’s down to comedy with very little substance. 

this is the first time in a long while that it feels like mickey’s trauma surrounding terry has been giving the time, space and the dialogue it deserves. I’ve been waiting many, many years for this sort of resolution for mickey...

my thoughts on noel’s performance under the cut (it’s a little lengthy!)...

as always, disclaimer: this is all my opinion, but i did go to drama school and have a degree. there’s a pandemic and nothing else to do, i just like talking about it. 

firstly, something I’ve always admired about noel’s work is his ability to tell us a thousand things without saying a single word. we’ve seen it from the very first season – there’s very few other actors on the show that consistently carry that much power with their silence and noel really did the most this week. let’s look at this moment:

mickey doesn’t say anything until prompted by ian and yet because of the intensity in noel’s look and the sheer amount of tension he’s carrying, we’re completely aware of mickey’s feelings in the moment without having to hear any dialogue. his physicality tells us more than any dialogue would. his shoulders are tense, his face is fight – it’s a deep, visceral reaction to seeing his father. noel has clearly thought about mickey’s pov here – not only about terry, but about this moment in general, about the first time he sees him after coming home from the hospital, about watching the man who tortured him for years finally be met with even an ounce of the same pain he was subjected to. immediately, we’re thrown into the heavy weight of the moment and when mickey does speak, it only echoes what we already know from his physicality. the dialogue complements noel’s performance, rather than solely carrying it. he’s managed to tap into the perfect balance of allowing the lines to come from truth — they don’t feel planned out or rehearsed but delivering them in a way we can tell that mickey has thought about it – mickey’s history with terry is lengthy and incredibly complex and that’s completely embodied in how noel delivers each line. It’s important to me that we can feel the history there, but that history is left at the door when it comes to his work in the scene. he’s not displaying the history, he’s existing in it. 

my personal ‘acting theory’ (to avoid sounding like a wanker) is that you don’t act as your character, but that you exist as yourself under those circumstances. mickey’s circumstances in the scene are noel’s circumstances and he reacts — as he would — in the moment. prep work for this is key. noel has said in previous interviews that when approaching mickey in the earlier seasons, he focused on having a secret and lengths he would go to protect it. knowing this, we have a small idea on how he approaches mickey now. he clearly has taken something in his own life and used it to personalise this situation with mickey, he’s thought about how he himself would react in those circumstances, because he is himself in mickey’s circumstances — this is why it feels so personal, this is why his performance is still so consistently nuanced all these years later. this is why he can tell us so much in a simple shift of the eyes. 

take emma’s performance during this episode – in the moments she’s talking about sandy and how upset she is (eg: inside the ambulance with ian and mick) she’s very much really going for the oh my heart is so broken blah blah, but it doesn’t land because you don’t believe her heart is broken. the lines are empty. you compare that to the subtleties noel shows us throughout the episode and it’s almost unfair that they have her scenes next to his. this isn’t to roast her, but just to highlight the differences in nuance and depth. allowing dialogue to carry a performance vs actually living in the performance. 

discomfort played a huge part in noel’s performance in 11x06 too and discomfort in scenes can bring wonders. mickey is uncomfortable — he’s faced with some horribly difficult decisions. we see a stark difference from his easy going ‘just pull the plug on him’ energy vs when he’s actually given the chance to. the stakes in the scene and situation are extremely high – mickey is quite literally battling with an opportunity he’s been waiting his entire life for. the weight of those stakes are heavy on his shoulders and the highlight of the episode for me was the physical journey on noel’s face as he holds the gun to terry's chest. noel gives us mickey’s internal battle – there’s the pent up rage he clearly had been carrying with him on the ride over, then the irritation, the fear, the sadness, the frustration. you can almost see everything mickey has ever had to go through because of terry in the way he looks at him. 

this shot above in particular has really, really stuck with me. the way he doesn’t respond to ian, keeping his eyes firmly planted on terry – he’s lost in his thoughts, in his history and you can feel everything behind noel’s eyes. 

it’s such a fantastically layered performance that he makes it impossible to look away. he allows the moment to play out and live and doesn’t speed run to achieve anything in his performance. he doesn’t push. noel doesn’t walk into the scene and go ‘oh i’m gonna make mickey feel this on this line and this on this line’ – he gives the emotions their time and place to land, we see and feel mickey’s journey without a single word. it all comes from his natural reactions to the circumstances. he doesn’t try and show us what mickey is going through when faced with the option to kill terry — he lives it, he sits in it and he exists in it. 

we also had a great example of noel’s range this ep. he delivered his funny, usual one liners like he has done throughout this season but really hammered home his talent when given dramatic scenes. it was a refreshing balance. 

overall, noel’s performance in this episode is a great example of how a well acted scene doesn’t have to contain screaming or crying or overt, obvious dramatics in order to be categorised as ‘good’. similarly to what I said in my post about ian’s vows, some of the smallest and subtle moments can carry as much as a 5 minute monologue or an intense shouting match. 

this is long and probably a little boring, but I could honestly talk about his work for ages. thanks for the question (and the other anons too!) and please feel free to send me anymore – especially as we now have a 3 week break before the next episode <3

[bankaqlota]

Writing idea: The World.

Just a thought I had and needed to get out there. Please be kind with comments!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a final gasp, The World was created. Alpha took another shaky breath before finally looking over his creation. The entire group behind him looked at the creation Alpha made and were in awe.

It was on the smaller side as creations go, with 8 planets on a focal star orbit with lots of smaller dwarf planets, asteroids and meteors. Each planet was quite unique (one was completely red!) However, the star of the show was the third planet that had a strange blue and green patchwork to it.

“What’s going on with that one? It looks strange.” A soft voice brave enough to dare ask what was on all of our minds.

“Which one are you on about? They all are strange; I mean some have hoops around them!” came the booming voice soon after.

“I believe you’re asking about Earth, Zeta. Those aren’t hoops Beta, they’re planet rings made of ice and planet dust and I think they suit them. Especially when the planet’s gravity is that strong.” Alpha's airy reply came to them.

“Rings on 4 of your planets? Really?”

“Well I like it.” The group turned in stunned surprise at that bold statement. “It suits them as it suits you.”

Eta's statement was both expected and not, it’s quite the oxymoron. Eta and Alpha were known by the group to have something towards each other, hate or love is still undecided. Her flat out admission of liking Alpha's creation all but assured everyone that Eta would be involved in this World.

“What’s Earth, Alpha?” Epsilon's timid voice asked again.

Alpha absolutely beamed at Epsilon and launched in explanation about Earth, the Humans, the Animals, the other planets, the orbit of each planet and so on. For Omega, Alpha was beginning to get boring in explaining everything.

The group have seen it all. They’ve always been and always will be. There is nothing they can’t do for they have tried everything and never missed anything. Omega thought back on his first eon and the creations they had done and undone, the forms they made and broke, the unbridled joy and achievement each creation brought in the groups heart. After an eon of eons, it was all faded to be so terribly boring.

This World of Alpha is definitely different to their other creations. Certainly limited in diversity compared to the Gaal of Eta's creation and yet more substance to it as opposed to the light and breezy M’nik’en of Beta's creation.

“... and I thought it would be interesting if this time we join this creation and become Deities. Now I do have some guides for us that I thought would be of help but I am open for suggestions if you have any. Questions before I explain my guidelines?” Alpha's abrupt suggestion gave everyone pause, even Omega was pulled from his musing at this odd phrase. Seeing all the confusion, bewilderment and outright intrigue pointed at him, Alpha thought it only appropriate to ask, “What?”

“I think I’ll start first with what do you mean be part of this creation? We create and observe. That’s what we collectively have been doing all this time. I don’t understand what you mean by your statement Alpha.”

“That’s what caught your attention Delta? I want to know what a Deities is and if it’s another creation that links to this one.” Eta's excitements at the odd phrase seem to be contagious as the next moment came Epsilon's comment.

“What if it was a mirror point creation with a parallel to this? Is it a complete or partial inverse, do you suppose?”

Alpha watched the group dissolve into questions and squabbles about theories with no end in sight. He blew a soft sigh of slight exasperation before looking to Omega for aid. He caught his eyes easily and clearly pleaded for help without a word. A slight nod of his head and Omega clapped his hands once for silence. The World, now behind Alpha, gave a small shiver at the sound while silence descended once more.

Calmly Alpha proceeded, “To answer you Epsilon, this is only a single creation, no mirror, points or parallels. As for you Eta, a deity, or deities for the plural, are supernatural beings considered divine or sacred by Humans and can be called god or goddess. They would worship us, pray to us and give offerings to us while we in turn do what we want. We can walk among them as long as we don’t tell them who or what we are and do not mess with their lives. Isn’t it an interesting idea?”

Omega scoffed, “There’s no balance in that Alpha and you know it. We already know what happens when it becomes take, take, take. We will have to give something back in return should we become Deities on Earth.”

“Why? Why should we? I made them and I can destroy them just as easily. I don’t understand your constant need for balance Omega. It’s fine if we take without give.”

“That’s not what we do this for, Alpha, and you know it. Without give we all wouldn’t be here, we’d still be in non-existence with no start in sight.”

“We would have existed even without any give!”

“No we wouldn’t!”

“Yes we would!”

“That’s enough you two!”

The eerie silence after the final explosive was deafening to the group. The anger was thick and both Alpha and Omega were so close to each other they could have touched had Eta not stopped them.

This was an argument often visited between them. When their existence came to be, there was a give in the Creation of things. This give came in the form of Creation itself giving them separate conscious thought, but because Creation split itself into their individual consciousnesses, none of them knew why. Each had a thought, a belief of what happened but even in the eons together none of them could figure it out. The one and only mystery left for them to discover was the very one with which they came into being.

“Neither one of you will concede on this so stop. I believe we are all interested in giving Alpha's thought of being deities a chance, however we do believe Omega has a valid point in stating there has to be a give and take or the humans won’t make it.” Eta continued, thoroughly frustrated at the two for once again starting this nonsense.”I believe in exchange for the worship and praise the Humans may request aid from us. Not direct aid but our aid could be a passive kind, something within our means of control.”

“But why even bother?” came Alpha's frustrated plea. ”Why? It won’t matter what they do they will never be more than what I created so why care what happens to them?”

“What if they could be more?”

The muttered question came from Delta who seemed in thought. As if realizing he spoke aloud, Delta raised his eyes to the others and asked again, “What if they could be more? Achieve a higher level than present?”

“So, we would collectively try to aid the Humans to reach a higher level as a give from our side? Is that your great plan, Delta?”

“Why not? We have not tried that yet. In our eons we have discovered 2 full ideas we have not tried yet and I dare any of you to deny the excitement under your skin at the thought of something new.” Eta's words cut the indecision clean through. All present showed excitement at the idea of new.

“I motion ahead as long as the guides remain that we aid the Humans passively as they in exchange give us worship and offerings.” Omega moved towards The World, clear in his intention to participate but also appearing as a guard in case someone were to disagree.

Alpha's eyes narrowed at Omega. Displeased at the nerve of Omega but eager to try his plan out he answered Omega, “I motion forward with the amendments accepted.”

Cheers and joy burst from everyone at that, eagerness to start boiling up. At once all rushed forward and Alpha directed the flow into establishing what constitutes a prayer, worship and offering. Once all were agreed they ventured to form themselves onto Earth.

From there everything changed.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

[ninjago-bingo]

final month recap

wow, everyone.  we’re here.  we’ve made it.  we’re reached the end of our bingo time, and i’m absolutely floored by the sheer creative output that i’ve seen over these last four months.  everyone, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back!!!  no matter if you made 1 piece or 10, there’s now a work of art out there in the world that wasn’t there before.  and truly, that’s super heccing rad no matter how you look at it.

so let’s celebrate!  for this recap, we have a total of 20 new pieces, bringing the total amount of ninbingo pieces up to 50.  in the span of four months, this little event has created 50 individual works (five of them in the last day!)  holy cow ya’ll.

i’m putting out this recap now, but don’t worry, it’s not the end yet!  any submissions made to the end of the 30th still count and this post will be updated accordingly :D

fic:

all the things i’ve never done by @sa-you-na-ra. tumblr || prompts: competition and teasing

It’s always a funny thing when the ninja realize new things about each other. Even though living with each other meant they had to see each other all day, there were still small habits or actions that amused the others.

(mod comments: all these little interactions made me smile so much :D looking forward to the rest!)

error 404: answer not found by @m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: memories

Akita and Zane talk after the battle in ‘Awakenings’. The conversation… doesn’t go as either of them expect.

(mod comments: the nuances in this fic are fantastic!  also Akita is always a win :D)

Five times kai was a good brother by @/master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: nightmare and brother

I'm writing kai centric stuff again.

(mod comments: kai IS the big bro of the team!!! i support him all the way!!)

How Garmadon became a chauffeur by @master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: driving

"um...Kai? Don't you think we should go Slower?" Garmadon asked nervously trying not to panick as they raced down the road at what had to be over the speed limit.

(mod comments: who let Kai drive?  no but honestly this is canon alskdfj)

little things by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: hugs and crying.

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things." -Kurt Vonnegut

Lloyd’s tired of being left behind. How is he meant to be the green ninja when he always has to work harder, train better, and wait longer to go on missions with his team? He wants nothing more than to be their equal.

At least, that’s what he thought he wanted.

(mod comments: a post-ep-18 resolution scene?  SIGN ME UP!)

Neither Snow Nor Rain by @fangirltakesall. tumblr || ffn.net || prompt: post-fight

After their return from the Never Realm and all its troubles, Zane is quiet and Nya is incredibly worried. A call to action to a peculiar sort of battle might be enough to change both of those things.

(mod comments: the concept of these two on their own mission together is just so good! excited to see how their dynamic plays out!!)

Never Put Off Until Tomorrow by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: video games and chores

…what can be done today, yada, yada, yada, we all know the saying. So do the ninja- when Master Wu is drilling it into their heads every minute of every day, it’s kind of hard to forget.

Naturally, it only takes them a week (and the biggest new video game in Ninjago) to do so.

(mod comments: this is so in character that it’s frustrating lol.  also Pixal ftw!!)

oh take me back to the start by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: comfort and 3 am

The past should be left in the past. Or, at least, that’s what Jay keeps telling himself. Nadakhan is gone. It’s not logical to still be afraid. But he is, and now everything that he left behind suddenly feels like it’s never going to be the same again.

Cole isn’t so convinced.

(mod comments: Cole is truly the man we all deserve in our lives.)

On Our Own by @redefine-your-identity. tumblr || prompt: home

It’s been a few weeks since Kai and Nya’s parents disappeared without a trace. Needless to say, they’re struggling.

(mod comments: OU C H no poor babies 😭 the relationship dynamic here is great!)

orange and gold by @/m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: cooking

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

(mod comments: I also always need more Vania content!! the puns in this were breadful!)

permafrost by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: loss of control and promise

It’s not like this is the first time this has happened. It’s not like none of his teammates have ever suffered this kind of guilt and pain. It’s not like Zane himself hasn’t walked through hell before and come out the other side (mostly) in once piece.

Except, this time, it is. It shouldn’t be different, but it is.

(mod comments: super sweet moment between two ninja who deserve more interaction like seriously!!)

Precautionary Tale by @/fangirltakesall. tumblr || ffn.net || prompt: protective

Fighting is different now, and Zane doesn't know why. Yes, he is titanium now, but why should that change anything? It seems to be changing everything, although is all really as it seems?

(mod comments: a great start to a zane-centric fic!  interested to see where it goes next :D)

Star-Ninja! by @rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: siblings and competition 

What happens when the loveable gremlin the ninja adopted off of the streets introduces them to Starfarer comics?

Chaos ensues, of course.

stuck with you (through bright and blue) by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompt: protective

Kai only wants two things: to protect Lloyd, and to give him the best birthday ever. Unfortunately, Lloyd seems hell-bent on making that as difficult as possible. Kai’s always prided himself on achieving the impossible, but dealing with human emotions is much more complicated than beating up Garmadon’s generals or shooting enemies with fire, as he quickly learns. Movie!verse

(mod comments: happy birthday lloyd!! look at him getting the love he deserves uwu)

Take a walk in the rain. by @/master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: rain

Cole had always loved the rain, the way it smelled, the way it felt on his skin, and especially the mud! Whenever it rained his Mother would put on his rain coat and boots And they'd both go out and splash around in the puddles and make mud cakes and do all sorts of things.

(mod comments: this fic made me smile a lot :D loved the way it was arranged!) 

the hues of an empty sky by @/m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: crying

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there’s one thing Jay’s leant over the last few weeks, it’s that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a ‘they tell everyone about the erased timeline’ fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don’t actually tell the other what exactly they’re alluding to the whole time’ fic that I wrote at like one am-

(mod comments: Skybound resolution? SIGN ME THE HECK UP YES)

The Make-Cole-Realize-How-Much-We-Love-Him Competition by @21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: bets and competition

Jay and Kai share a horrified look.  “He really doesn’t get it,” Jay says.

Kai shakes his head.  “We need to show him somehow.”

“Show me what?” Cole asks, exasperated again.  

“How much we love you!” Kai exclaims.  “Somehow, it’s not getting through your thick skull that we want to sit next to you because you’re you, so I’m gonna have to just prove it to you.”

(mod comments: a silly little movie fic!)

twitter was a mistake by @/21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: teasing and birthday

Kai 🔥 @flaminhotninja ☑

so who was gonna tell me that Jay used to be a game show host huh

🌺✨ the Gift of Jay ✨🌺 @zaptrap ☑

Replying to @flaminhotninja

NO WHO SHOWED YOU

(mod comments: twitter was a mistake)

two halves of a broken whole by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: scars and post-fight

The Sons of Garmadon have been defeated. Garmadon is in prison. The city has been saved.

In the aftermath of the battle, Nya is more than ready to take a much-needed break. But the life of a ninja is messy. Recovery is never that simple. Although the wounds may have healed, the scars still remain.

Zane’s scars seem to match up, though. And maybe together, they can begin to heal.

(mod comments: aggressive care is my jam, and this is it!)

wait by @rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: home and memories

Lloyd’s not so great at being patient. It’s not his fault though- maybe he would be better at it if waiting didn’t always end up being so disappointing- if people actually kept their promises. But this time’s going to be different, he knows it. His father will come back for him. And Lloyd’s going to wait.

As long as it takes.

(mod comments: baby.  baby boy.  baby.  protecc him plz.)