#i could write a fucking book
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How It Should Have Ended
#revolutionary girl utena#attack on titan#i am currently watching the latter half of the anime after dropping off at season 2#i resumed because i watched FD Signifier's video on just how BAD the ending was#and i got sucked down a wiki hole and came out the other end needing to see this trainwreck for myself#i have THINGS to say about this doomer fable#this nihilistic bait-and-switch#this 94-episode suicide note of an edgy grimdark anime#i could write a fucking book#and one of the chapters would be a comparison between it and utena#oh yeah did you know aot has its own rose bride??#who they handle in a really gross way#anyway i'm saving the rant for my forthcoming PhD dissertation on this fucking series#this is an exaggeration and i am not in a PhD programme#but holy fuck do i have CRITIQUES#also whoops forgot to tag#aot spoilers
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today on "absolutely unhinged things for stover to put on paper and lucas to approve," the depiction of obi-wan's self-aware attachment to anakin here, how ready he'd be to kill yoda for the greater good, and how he'd let yoda kill him too, but anakin is the exception to their entire order and to obi-wan's moral judgment.
all three of them here, arguably the three most important jedi in the galaxy, they all know with wariness that anakin, the chosen one, has failed to grasp the central tenet of their code, and they don't know what to do about it. obi-wan thinks he failed him, failed to teach him; he knows anakin failed to learn, failed to accept it, how he'd would never let a friend go.
obi-wan here offers keen, intimate analysis of anakin's inner workings, shining a light on who darth vader really is in his heart, his loyalty beyond any moral or ethical bounds. obi-wan is painfully aware of how he is complicit in fostering this inappropriate attachment, only encouraging anakin's behavior. we see why he apologized in the kenobi show, how he was already sorry.
tbh this page changed me—my understanding of the characters, and my appreciation of the entire tragedy, like.. look how anakin has compromised obi-wan, and look at how much obi-wan loves him anyway. look at how the heart of this incipient monster is described with tender, ruthless clarity by the one who knows it best... on the next page obi-wan's literally crying about what they've done... i'm astrally projecting into the sun
#obi-wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#darth vader#obikin#rots novelization my beloved#sw books#sw#the way this frames the battle at mustafar like#god i could write pages of analysis about Them#fuck
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some of you moved on from this way too quickly. i, however, DID FUCKING NOT!!!
#the goldfinch#donna tartt#theo decker#boris pavlikovsky#boreo#that’s fucking cinema#this whole scene being so book accurate kills me#and the fact that roger deakins did the cinematography…#LIKE THIS SHIT HAS BEEN OUT FOR FIVE YEARS AND IM STILL CONVINCED IT ISNT REAL#if i could eat a scene i would fucking devour this shit#plate licked fucking clean#could actually write an essay on this i stg
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i just finished the prologue of the mota book and i don't know how i haven't seen a single post talking about how after john and gale's stalag reunion, they were then separated for another four months.
my heart is aching so bad. imagine being reunited (after almost three weeks, oct 8–26th) and having that tiny feeling of 'everything is going to be okay' and then being ripped apart again for four fucking months. 120 more days of not being able to be at each other's sides.
#let out an actual pained noise when i processed the sentence#went back and reread three times to ensure i wasn't reading it wrong#johnslittlespoon mota book#<- gonna be posting stuff from the book there as i read#but yeah what in the fucking sick twisted joke#how did they not mention this in the show#also the way john is called 'johnny egan repeatedly' makes me want to put my fist thru drywall#do you think they could see each other/talk through the fence#i can't do this i rly can't#there's no way i'm not gonna write a oneshot about the second reunion that comes after those four months#johnslittlespoon brainrot#buckbucky#buck x bucky#clegan
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Rhysand really thinks his trauma trumps everyone elses trauma
Ofc i feel bad cause rhysand was obviously abused UtM but that doesn’t excuse the fact he 1- does shit things to other people 2- can act like since he was traumatized he is morally superior.
and i know the rhysand-ites will yap about how “he knows hes not good” or “he doesnt think that at all!” but the narrative certainly thinks so. sjm jumps through HOOPS to convince you rhysand is a great and amazing person no matter what and good god it’s annoying
#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#rhysand#anti rhysand#sjm#sjm critical#most annoying male lead and ive read some bad books#rhysand strikes pure anger in my heart#part of it are the literacy blind people who just believe everything they are told in the book#which i blame poor writing and the fact people didnt pay attention in english class#the curtains could be blue for a fucking reason#im tired of books that try to spoon feed you the point of the story#they try to take away the nuance and good god chill out
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I think it's really annoying that leo has completely falsified memories of jason too and this is barely acknowledged in the books
#it is also barely acknowledged by the fandom but I blame the books for that#call me crazy but I think that's a big deal actually!#he grew up with nothing! no close friends! now his memories of his best friends are fake!#the whole tlh gang obviously become close in the end but I just think leo and jason in particular warranted more thought#rick clearly doesn't dwell on it with leo bc friendships and romance are not given the same weight#one of the first things pov jason says about leo is “if someone like this guy is my friend then my life must be messed up”#(not a callout of jason I think it was hilarious and understandable. he is So Confused)#but idk instead leo's reaction in the books is mostly framed as Ok finally I don't have to be the third wheel anymore#Wait fuck they're dating again anyway!#which is also understandable but I would love to also see him Struggle More with the fact that those memories aren't even real to begin wit#something something friendships are just as valuable and significant and consequential as romances#leo valdez#jason grace#rr crit#<- this is barely a fleshed out criticism of the books themselves but just in case#pjo hoo toa#I could say something about how people hate jiper for this same reason but I won't bc I don't care about jiper really#beyond my general feelings that the way their breakup was written was one of rick's worst writing moments
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could you imagine how good spirit animals would be if it wasn't written as a children's series
#thats the country that is bad and full of bad people that deserve to be mistreated and suffer a horrible disease that is easily curable -#- that the rest of the world has access to because a long time ago they started a war#i feel like bc they were kids books they couldnt really touch on the horrors of war#or how vile The Many were#it could also explore the greencloaks more in the way that they werent good guys. in the slightest#it would have so much more nuance#GOD IMAGINE IMAGINE IMAGINE#IT COULD BE SO SO SO GOOD#i need someone to write the books in a grittier way.#i mean obviously they touched on the fact that these kids were fighting in wars at 11 years old#and that stetriol was justified in rising up#and shane is already a really complex character but we never really got to see the like super gritty side only glimpses in the book of shan#spirit animals books#spirit animals series#and the fucking bile???? thats a terrifying concept that didnt get treated as seriously as it shouldve i think#especially how the fact it can turn regular animals into brutish killing machines was mentioned only once or twice#the amount of proper angst you can explore in the main four as well holy shit
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Vi is gifted kid burnout but in the english major way
#she’s the best characterization I’ve seen of gifted kid burnout outside of super-genius characters#like. as a burnt out gifted kid by legal designation. she is me#trying to succeed at everything because that’s what you’re told to do or what you think needs to be done to be worth anything to anyone#being rigid to change because it’s not being done right but at the same time accepting change so long as people stay with you#and also how that ties in with being an eldest sibling#because ik folks love the whole ‘gifted kid jinx’ thing (not me but ya’ll do you) but ya’ll—#YA’LL DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR BURNT OUT ACADEMIC VI—#because Vi never got the chance to be a kid and learn and grow and find what she actually enjoyed in the world outside of the last drop crew#but look at her. the way she speaks and the way she tried to teach powder the lessons she earned the hard way in the gentlest way possible#in the way she so desperately clings on to people and memories#my girl would be a WRITER#my girl would be writing poetry drunk in her shitty basement apartment after hooking up with a girl#my girl would be writing novellas in prison and getting her degree#because you know she sees the world like a romantic. her world is art and emotion and devotion. to her family. to anything she cares about#i need more literary! student vi. i need more academic vi. i need more grudging debate-team captain vi#i need vi getting her own place and having an extensive book collection that she develops because of the loneliness#Her gkb is going from a leader & soldier to someone who could be useful regardless to someone who is useless & being okay w/ it ->#to being needed again and not knowing how to handle it but knowing she refuses to fuck it up this time#GIVE ME VI W/ MY GIFTED KID ARCCCCCC#this probs makes no sense and is like 4 tangents but I’ll expand on it later ‘cause im tired#coherency is for losers and the well-rested#vi arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#vi
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drabbles about the deer imagery in The Secret History (specifically in relation 2 Camilla) because her becoming a deer/believing that she did stuck in my mind (although this post will mostly take Camilla and the other's recollection of events to be as they recount it – if i examine it in it's effect as an incorrect account, that would be in a separate post)
Obviously there's, on a meta level, an irony to it – Camilla and Charles are named to make fun of the Princess Diana scandal that was happening at the time, and so ironically Camilla transforms into an animal sacred to Diana.
There's also a parallel that I think could be interesting to make between Camilla and Taygete, who for anyone unfamiliar, was turned into a deer by Artemis to protect her from Zeus' sexual advances. Although I think that what happened in the Bacchae was concensual sexually, I think it could possible be indicative in Camilla's narrative role as the "wanted"/"desired" one within the greek class – by Charles, Henry, Richard (although he wasnt there) and even Francis, although he wants to be her more so than actually wanting her.
Additionally, outside of how it actually functions within the story, her transformation into a creature associated so closely with innocence, especially in relation to Diana/Artemis' virginity, might perhaps be tied to Richards view of her as this "pure" and "virginal" person – obviously we know this is far from the truth, and he himself learns this later, but I think it definitely ties into this flawed angelic idea of her he so covets.
I think this interpretation ties into the myth of Actaeon (in terms of "deer transformation myths") although its very interesting to me that they different at key points – Camilla, the "virginual" character, is the one transformed, rather than the sexual transgressor (Charles) or the one who introduces miasma (Henry). But, like Actaeon, she is pursued and hunted – which, another key point – Actaeon is pursued and killed by his own hunting dogs, and Charles returns from the ritual with a bite mark, perhaps tying him into the myth thurther?
#sillies sillies#gay people will really write 5 paragraphs of analysis about a book written in the nineties instead of studing#(talking about himself)#~350 words isnt much BUT i dont write much literature analysis 4 myself outside of class#so I'm quite happy with this#feel free 2 add stuff on 🫡 I'm more familiar with Homer's works (and bits of Ovid) than i am wider greek myths#so if im missing any interesting deer transformation myths let me know :D#LOVE carmilla. obviously as flawed as any character but she's so interesting 2 me#both of the twins are honestly. what the fuck was their childhoods like that made them like that#cause. we know bits and pieces about francis and Henry's childhoods#and obviously Richard's#but i feel like we know so little about the twin's...#anyways#the secret history#the kat speaks#camilla macaulay#charles macaulay#francis abernathy#henry winter#richard papen#again not tagging buns cause hes not in here#although i wanna talk about his youth imagery @ some point#he's very Paris 2 me /pos#LOATH henry (ik hes as complex as the rest of them but he just rubs me up the wrong way. dont even hate him 4 the murder) but i really wish#i could hear his opinions on the character of the iliad#WHAT DID HE THINK OF PANDARUS. my boy my love#asshole in my class civ class who's name is very similar 2 henry's called him stupid... arse#he literally ticks every box of the homeric hero whats not to love#anyways. absolutely ESSAY of a post and tags#soz guys
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Cursed fanfic idea:
Shen Yuan transmigrated into a colleen hoover book. He's never read one but his mother and some of his relatives definitely have and he is NOT excited. Let's say he specifically gets transmigrated into ugly love or smth as the dead wife/step sister of the love interest in that book. People may also know her as the mother of the "we both laugh at our son's big balls" baby.
Shen Yuan only knows the basics of basics from a brief plot synopsis his mom gave him and he is soooooo not amused by the prospect that hes now:
In a woman's body
A woman who's destined to fall in love with her step sibling
A woman who's destined to fall in love with her step sibling and have a child
A woman who destined to fall in love with her step sibling, have a child, and her and the child then die in an accident.
He would like to go home please and thank you!! None of this poorly written melodrama that people read at the beach or at the airport!!! He's not into this shit!!!
#the only thing stopping me from writing this is that this would require me to fucking properly read colleen hoover.#to effectively know what im talking about to properly parody her work.#this post is sponsored by my endless frustration evertime i see someone check out a coho book at the library (happens everyday)#WAIT WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT. SHEN JIU IS THE STEP BROTHER/LOVE INTEREST. WHOS SUPPOSED TO GET TOGETHER WITH THE MC BINGHE AFTER SHENYUAN DIES#itd be sooo MESSY. man. i wish i could write😭😭#svsss#throwaway post#scum villains self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan
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this outfit is my roman empire. my superbowl. my tour de france. my presidential election. my olympics. my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.
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jackie & shauna // the book of goose, yiyun li
#yellowjackets#yellowjacketsedit#jackie taylor#shauna shipman#jackieshauna#edit*#why did you love him when you could have loved me :))#this book is bonkers bc like. the '''''boy'''' in question is literally the friend Pretending to be a guy and writing her love letters#insane. 10/10 no notes.#u would Think looking at these edits that this is THE dynamic of the show for me#actually it isnt. i just happened to have read a fucked up girl best friend book .
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just thought of a jegulus they both die at the end au and suddenly I'm thirteen again
#that fucking book was my everything at thirteen im sorry#but also i thought of james climbing into regulus' grave with him#because reg was terrified of dying and doing anything to make it happen faster than it was already happening#and then#AND THEN#it would be sad james too#and he'd spend the whole day being okay with it you know#but then by the end of the night when he knows his death is coming he realizing how badly he wants to live#but it's too late by then#like MAN#i love that shit#like it's absolutely horrible and awful#it's a tragedy but something about james finding a reason to Want to live is everything to me#anyway#i cant have a new wip#but i could write a tbdate au that's so fucking good#i dont even like the book anymore#but damn#anyways#i shouldn't have put this all in the tags#jegulus
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emily carroll has once again permanently changed my brain chemistry
#i got my hands on her newest book recently and god. GOD#i finished that book and just lay down on the floor for an hour because i had to just absorb it all#it felt like coming out of the theater after watching ATSV for the first time#i was so full of adrenaline and the sheer impact of everything i read was hitting all at once#so perfectly paced so intuitively panelled#it feels so reductive to call myself a comic artist when emily caroll does too#shes so. she's just in an entirely different league#it feels like there should be a different word for her#im so far away from creating anything half as lifechanging as that book was#its so motivating and inspiring but its also like#fuck#FUCK#my work feels so damn juvenile in comparison#emily carroll i owe you my life#i need to rip this book apart (not literally)#i have so much to learn about writing and art#everyone read “a guest in the house” by emily carroll#i hope she gets all the accolades she could ever want or need#god#i need a tattoo of this book#expeditiously
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never in my life have i wanted a Daddy more than i do rn 😭
#personal#i'm going to ramble and drop it all in the tags#i'd like to have a pity party for myself thanks#the election?#fucked i've just been scrambling for a week now to prepare for the worst that feels like it's rapidly approaching#vaccines updated birth control bought out stockpile of food started passport appointments made tasers and protective gear purchased#banned books put on a wishlist#the holidays?#trying to make them enjoyable instead of so so so triggering#husband's new job?#barely home he's barely home i feel like a solo parent#i'm absolutely drowing at home mainly alone with two toddlers who have found their spirit and resilience and attitude...#the new house?#we've been fighting we are not vibing it's taking forever for me to feel in love with it#we do not get along rn lol#writing? personal time? self care? nonexistent i have no time alone during the day and then i spend the two hours i have to myself at night#fighting sleep and doing nothing#took a shower today and when i got out my eyelash line started burning and then my eyes were burning and then my nose was running and#then my eyes were watering and i could barely open them and goop started building and then they were SWOLLEN to the point where i could see#the muscles bulging and then i couldn't move them left or right#so i drove I DROVE myself to the urgent care#turns out my water has way too much chlorine in it and now that i've started taking hot as fuck and steamy showers it's just made me#susceptible to severe allergic reactions to chlorine?#it's been horrible my eyes are so sore now and they're just now not sopping in goop#and yeah#just...#i live the same day every day and i'm spiraling and drowning and about to go off the rails while also trying to SUCK THE JOY out of the las#month we have before democracy crumbles so#i just wish i had a Daddy to take care of me and tell me things are going to be okay 😭#preferably a Big Daddy that would let me sleep for days and would bring me food and let me hug and snuggle on him and not talk
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*holds you by shoulders*
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT 1082 I WAS SURE IT WAS SHIPPY THING AND NOW I NEED TO KNOW
*starts sobbing while slowly falling to my knees*
…….please
I SAW THIS YESTERDAY NIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND I JUST WOKE UP EARLY TO REPLY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES FOR THIS QUESTION I AM GOING TO KISS YOU ANON-
I do love and adore the shippy part of 1082 because I am a very intense Shuggy shipper and I had been waiting to read their break-up for sooo long. But it's not exactly what made the chapter life-changing for me, tbh.
Buggy's speech is... Is incredibly beautiful and encouraging. It explains so much about his character, the dynamic he has with Cross Guild, and why he's so resentful toward Shanks. Throughout the manga, we've seen him in serious moments, yes, but usually, Buggy is pretty much used for comedy relief more than anything. This is one of the first times we've seen Buggy realize the position he has now and say "Fuck it. Already on the verge of dead for these two, might as well do something with this shitty situation because for once, I have the opportunity to be brave and be more than what people think of me". There's literally nothing stopping him right now, and he prefers to risk his life enraging Crocodile and Mihawk than letting this opportunity of showing who he truly is slide.
And tbh, we haven't seen them ever since (I am starving please-) but I am really hopeful his speech somehow makes Crocodile and Mihawk have a little tiny itty bitty of respect for him at least. Because out of the three? Buggy is the one who deserves the title of pirate more.
Mihawk and Crocodile don't have dreams or ambitions and see pirating as a business. Even when Crocodile did have ambitions (remember when the silly rubber guy destroyed all of his dreams that was a funny arc haha) his whole personality has always been more of a mafioso than anything. Mihawk is a simple man and is bored with life being at the top of the top, he clearly wants something interesting to happen but doesn't see any use in looking for it himself. They care about their commodities and wealth. But out of the three, Buggy is the one who had to give up on his dream and now he has the opportunity to fulfill it.
"How can you call yourselves pirates with schemes like that?! You're doing it all backwards!! [...] Way back when... What did you guys want to be?! [...] I wanna be king of the pirates!! Wealth? Power? Why stop there when we can have it all?!"
This is something a real pirate would say. He talks like Roger here, I am going to curl up and cry don't look at me-
What I like about One Piece is the constant use of themes like dreams and freedom etc, etc... That's something we all know. But you wouldn't expect it coming from Buggy, of all people. And I think I'm pretty fond of him being brave and finally acting upon what he truly wants to do. What makes it great is that you have this comedy relief character standing up for his dream in front of clearly two other antagonists that have control over him in, well, strength and everything. But Buggy has something they don't and it's so, so much ambition and a dream that could be considered childish but it's the representation of freedom and doing things because you want to follow your heart. This is kind of why I always say Luffy would be more fond of Buggy if he knew the whole story and would probably support him a lot--
What I like the most about this chapter is both Buggy's character development through a speech + flashback and Mihawk and Crocodile being completely stunned by it because they weren't expecting this to happen from Buggy of all people. I know I sound like a broken record but I really, really, want them to respect Buggy a little bit more after this. Also, Buggy doesn't do this only to announce he's going to follow his dream now that he's on equal footing with Shanks. He does it because the other two mention needing overwhelming power over the rest. Buggy isn't stupid and knows how manipulating people works. The thing that makes pirates work harder isn't money, it's a dream. And there's nothing a pirate desires more than the One Piece, so that's kind of why he announces it publicly. First, to establish power, and second, so that way Mihawk and Crocodile don't get rid of him because seriously, Buggy is a better boss than these two because their followers appreciate him and don't feel forced to follow him.
Not to mention that the whole thing also shows more of Buggy's relationship with Roger and how left out he felt because people thought highly of Shanks instead of him. But Buggy, even if he was jealous, was willing to follow Shanks despite his feelings because he accepted being less worthy of respect than him. Shanks shone brightly and Buggy decided that, even if he wanted to be seen like that too, he'd give up on his dream and support Shanks instead because at least they'd do this together, just the way they did everything back at the time.
But then Shanks hesitates, and I think that's Buggy's last straw because he sees giving up going for the One Piece as something disrespectful to their captain (dad) and thinks it's unfair that Shanks is so respected by everyone even though the one wanting to follow their captain's steps right away is him. It's honestly frustrating. And then you understand better why Buggy is angry at Shanks-- Yeah, he made him eat the devil fruit and lost the map because of him (not really but whatever), but the way I see it that's just a metaphor for the real reason why Buggy is so resentful. Shanks' existence, even if it was not on purpose, made Buggy feel so powerless he gave up on his dream. And eating a devil fruit means the sea hates you and you can't have any independence in the pirate world, and losing the map is kind of like losing the only thing that guides you. He left Buggy with nothing and let him carry the burden of a lost dream.
This is funny because Shanks did absolutely nothing wrong and everything is a product of jealousy and miscommunication, but I understand why Buggy blames Shanks and this chapter makes it clearer and explains it perfectly.
Basically, it's such an amazing chapter for Buggy's character and it's definitely my favorite for him specifically. Although the flashback does wonders for my Shuggy heart.
Also, adding more points for the revolutionary plot in the end and Sabo showing up because I adore him <3
#also for people who have given up on their dreams because their ex bff was better at fucking everything and now they feel worthless#this is their roman empire okay#definitely not projecting haha this has absolutely nothing to do with me relating to buggy here i swear#i love him quite a lot <3#i could talk more about this chapter tbh this is a summary and mix of my thoughts but uhhh yeah i don't want to write a whole book rn#but this is my dearest most favorite and precious chapter#also sabo is really cute with koala at the end and i appreciate that a lot#one piece#buggy the clown#shuggy#op chapter 1082#cross guild
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