#i could talk about this dynamic forever but then i might spoil the rest of the fic :')

[joltiion14]

II episode 18 spoilers, BUT HERE'S A HUUUUUGE RAMBLE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

PAYJAY IS CANON PAYJAY IS CANON I'M FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT YAOI WHEN CAN I HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE

ahem anyways

episode 18 had me and my sister at the edge of our seats HOLY SHIT I LOVED THIS EPISODE... KNIFE X MEPHONE4S GUYS GUYS WHO'S WITH ME... ALSO KNIFE'S SACRIFICE TO SAVE MARSHMALLOW CAME FROM SOME FUCKING PEAK CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. THEY COULD NOT HAVE KILLED KNIFE OFF IN A BETTER WAY THAN THAT. SPEAKING OF SACRIFICES, my boy mepad... MY BOY MEPAD AHAHGSHSHAGHH rest in peace I LOVE YOU MEPAD....

I wanna quickly point out how emotional I got when cobs started threatening and beating mephone4, as a victim of child abuse this hit haaard. they did great writing the dynamic with those two, it felt realistic even in a fictional world. I FELT SO BAD FOR MEPHONE THAT ENTIRE TIME I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM FUCK YOU COBS.

also I may or may not be a box kinnie now. I GOT SPOILED THANKS TO A THUMBNAIL I SAW OF A LEAKED II18 VIDEO, SO I KNEW BOX WAS GONNA BE IMPORTANT, but holy shit I did not expect them to be one of the most relatable characters the SECOND they came on screen and started explaining their story.

I might get blocked by multiple people for saying this, but since the last 2 episodes, I've been shipping tacophone. HEAR ME OUT. microphone and taco talked things out some, mic forgave taco and understood her and gave her a chance to improve, and so she did, thanks to microphone willingly giving her a chance even after everything. sure, a relationship between the two would be toxic in the previous episodes, and I fully agree. But toxic or unhealthy relationships CAN be fixed if both partners are willing to try and repair their relationship. AND PLUS, THOSE TWO ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER I JUST AAAGHHHH.... I can't get over the fact that soap pulled the "if you hurt her, I will hurt you" kinda thing on taco, once microphone introduced soap to her. I developed a headcanon that mic and soap are like sisters about a year ago and I guess that goes to show some more now

anyways, I CANNOT leave out the fact that SUITCASE FUCKING WON. I FULLY EXPECTED NEITHER OF THEM TO WIN, BUT OH MY GOD DID SHE DESERVE IT. Her and knife both deserved it actually. It's hard to truly decide LMAO

anyways, mephone4 in that episode... I love him your honor he's my new son FUCK YOU COBS. anyways, just like mic and taco, he tried to fix his mistakes with everybody. he apologized to... EVERYONE. Even toilet , who genuinely was someone mephone4 didn't deserve as an assistant considering how much of an ass he was towards him in the earlier season. Even then, toilet stayed with him to the bitter end, and stayed loyal to mephone. And in the end, he got to see mephone4 turn into a better person. Even bad people with the worst backgrounds or childhoods can become better, and that's what Mephone4 did. he apologized, then made the decision to stay away from everybody and give them space after what he did to all of them, and I think that was amazing on his part. He didn't tell them what to do next, and let them all know that they were free, they always were. AND THEN WE GOT THE MASHUP BETWEEN ALL OF THE SONGS IN THE SHOW YEAAAAAAAAA

overall, id rate this episode AND THE ENTIRE SEASON AS A 49/40 (reference heh). Inanimate insanity has been my favorite show for many, many years and I'm so glad it got an ending as good as this one. I will forever be grateful for the show Adam, Brian, Justin and all the rest of the cast managed to create for us. Thank you. PLUS ALL OF MY DREAMS CAME TRUE

except for the fact that lightbulb and paintbrush didn't kiss when can we have that

[ms0milk]

I always love the type of relationship where the bully— for lack of better word— has this moment of going “oh this doesn’t happen in a vacuum and my actions have consequences towards how people perceive me.” Within the millisecond of realization of how you think he’s not a good person, there’s a reassessment of all your behaviors and it’s like “oh you weren’t being annoying you were deeply on edge the entire time. Oops.”

Like reader is tasked with playing 5d chess the entire time trying to figure out like, being respectful while keeping his temper at bay and doing their job—which is exhausting and can make you a little insane, all the while Bakugou is like “our relationship is simple. I’m great and they suck.” And he’s just now seeing the crazy board reader has been dealing with for most of their lives. He probably doesn’t even understand most of it. He just knows it’s complicated beyond belief and he is the reason for it.

Oops.

this!! spot on anon, oops indeed

I love this dynamic too (mostly because so many fic-fav-characters are genuinely a problem™) and then for hymn to black water I wanted to add a romance element without making it so unbelievably abusive. The chess board is a great analogy because in order for the bully to realize the existence of the game at all, they gotta face the horrifying ordeal of empathy.

I think with bkg in particular you already know-- as a fandom enjoyer and from elements of this story-- that he does in fact have friends, can love, and is loved. He doesn't think he's a bully the same way others might take pride in their abuse. It's just like you said, "I’m great and they suck." Simple as that.

So, I've had tons of fun exploring how he might treat a character who has only interacted with him a few times and who he doesn't deem significant at all, and how this person could ever manage to become a fixture in his life ('manage' is doing a lot of heavy lifting in this sentence but you know what I mean). There are so many fun ways I get to tangle these two together!! albeit carefully

[echo-of-sounds]

daddy dom

Headcanons on the types of Daddy Dom Aizawa, Gang Orca, and Hound Dog are. 

I was going to include all six guys in this but it got so much longer than I initially planned. Toshi, Hizashi, and Fatgum are coming tomorrow!

Warnings: Daddy Dom relationship, (the rest is only mentioned, there’s no real detail) punishments, choking, slapping, spanking, spitting, hair pulling, and rough sex

Aizawa Shouta

Shouta had an inkling he was interested in dominance when he started having sex. The Daddy Dom surfaced after a one-night stand happened to moan ‘Daddy.’ He enjoyed it, looked into the subject deeper, and realized that’s exactly what he wanted, needed. However, he hasn’t had a relationship where he’s felt comfortable enough or been in one long enough to practice it. 

As your relationship develops, it is something he brings up because he isn’t shy about it. He wants to be your Daddy. He wants to be his girl’s protector and her anchor. He praises you when you’re doing well. He says how proud he is. He loves and cuddles you on your bad days. When you’re crying and scared, he’s right beside you, huddling you to his chest, protecting you from whatever you fear. 

Pet names are a rarity. On the odd occasion a good girl slips out, it’s a telltale sign he’s in a highly dominant mood. You’re expected to listen, do what you’re told, and say, ‘please and thank you.’ To make you feel fluttery and happy, he’ll call himself Daddy as he’s helping you.

Kitten is even more limited. He uses it when you dress up in the pink lingerie he bought you. It has a little collar with a bell, a cat-eared headband, garter bands, and cute, frilly panties and bra. There’s also a cat tail butt plug you can play with. But there’s a catch- there’s depreciation. If you use it too much, he isn’t as excited and it’s clear to see. You need to keep the lingerie away until you’re in dire need of your Daddy and a good fucking.

He takes pride and joy in seeing your smile at a new, fancy bracelet or an adorable teddy bear. But he’s uncertain when buying. He knows what you like, yet he just can’t decide on which dress you’d prefer. Despite his self-doubts, his presents are usually excellent, especially any soft, thigh-high stockings or cute, striped panties he brings home.

Though you won’t ever be able to tell, sometimes it is hard for Shouta to discipline you. He enjoys your bratty moods and how you ignore his commands to sit still. Your whimpers and whines and facial expression are incredibly cute. But at the end of the day, he is your Daddy and it’s his responsibility to keep you on track and provide stability. His go-to punishment is no orgasming… for a long time. You can’t touch yourself or grind on a pillow. If you beg, it’ll only extend the punishment. Occasionally, spanking is also used, particularly when you’re riding him and not listening.

Highly dominant doesn’t always mean rough. Yes, he is that most of the time. But he has periodic moods where he won’t use discipline. It’s when he’s in a coddling mood. Daddy becomes gentle, erotic, intent, and intimate. Don’t hold back your moans. Please, whine and whimper and fuss and mewl. Your soft cries and little wriggles please him so. 

When he is rough, you’ll be leaving red streaks down his back. He loves seeing them in the mirror the next morning, so he strives to get you that aroused and pleasured every time. And nothing is truly off the books for him. Whatever you wish, he’ll command: slapping, spanking, choking, hair pulling, and spitting.

Shouta is more of a nonverbal Daddy. Both of you know he’s dominant and it’s your job to behave, so he doesn’t feel the need to command you as much as others may. He just yanks your body around as he pleases, slaps and chokes you when you don’t listen or get off-topic, and spits on your tongue to get you to quiet down. Now that doesn’t mean he won’t talk. At your misdoings, his steeled voice is gruff and guttural, commanding, punishing, and asking what you did wrong. 

Daddy gets even more domineering when you cum without permission. That’s the one rule you should never break. If he’s feeling charitable (which is rarer than a blue moon), he’ll let you cum. Other times, he’s deepthroating you, cumming down your throat, and making you swallow it. And that’s all you’ll get. Again, don’t beg. That’ll worsen the punishment. All you can do is be a good girl and hope he lets you cum in the next few days.

Gang Orca

Kugo never considered himself a Daddy or any sort of dominant man in general. The few times he’s had sex, he was more on the submissive side, letting his partner lead and ride him as they wished. His fear of hurting his partner really held him back. However, the instant he hears you softly, weakly whine Daddy, gently pawing his chest, pining for him to make you feel good, the switch is flicked and there’s no going back.

Before he fully engages in the Daddy Dom relationship, he does a lot of reading and asks you question after question. If he ever hurt you or pushed past your limits, he’d all but die inside. You need to ease into it. Let him become accustomed to the power dynamics, the dirty talking, what’s expected from him, and the lifestyle.

In the beginning, he’s as sweet as can be. You’re his little one whom he loves to spoil. He buys you dainty panties, comfy sweaters, and dresses for every occasion. You should always model clothing for Daddy. He’ll appreciate your appreciation. As you turn around in a cute, lace nightgown, his fingers flow up your thighs, caressing between them, gently brushing along your new panties, making sure everything fits perfectly. 

He gradually leans into the discipline aspect as the relationship grows. Once comfortable with himself and you, the punishments come frequently. They depend on the severity of your bad behavior. If you don't listen, you don’t get sweets. If you didn’t listen twice, you have extra chores to do. If you didn’t listen three times, no sexual gratification of any kind for however long Daddy deems necessary. 

In spite of that, he is a weak Daddy when it comes to his little one. Your puppy-dog eyes burrow into his heart. Your wiggling thighs get him heated. Your little mewls for your Daddy’s attention haunt him. But he doesn’t give in all the time. He still has structure, stability, and dominance to uphold.

Kugo is truly a safe Daddy. He’s your secret place where your every thought, desire, emotion, and fear will always be heard, understood, and respected. Whatever you tell Daddy when you’re curled up on his chest, snuggled in his arms, stays with Daddy. He guides you through the crowded mall, nurses the cuts on your legs, acts as an anchor through depression and anxiety, and protects you from the rumbling thunder. And by God, is he protective. 

Protectiveness is his main characteristic. He wants you to wear his T-shirt and sweatshirts. When he cums, he seats himself fully insides, letting him empty out completely. His hands rub your lower stomach like he’s feeling his property. Even as he falls flaccid, he stays inside. He needs to make sure everything has drained. If he could, he’d keep you filled with his seed forever.

Tender, slow sex involves you riding Daddy. He squeezes your thighs and tummy as you bounce. He praises every movement, every part, every itty-bitty sound. Your passion is so important to him. Seeing your body seek out its pleasure and rapture in the safety of your own little world fills his heart with love.

Dominant Daddy is less common yet so fulfilling. His thick, wet tongue washes deep. Fingers spread you wide. His erection spreads you further. You’ll be thrown on the bed, stuck under him for multiple beautiful orgasms. As you cum, moan ‘thank you’ again and again. Your gratitude encourages him. He’ll keep you moaning into the morning. 

Hound Dog

The second Ryo entered that seriously horny stage of puberty, he knew his dominance. As he started having sex, it only flourished. He’s rough, fast, controlling, and one-hundred percent, hands down a brat tamer. Your whines and protests are cute, but he always wins. Hearing his rasping, growling voice is enough to get you to concede to his demands.

Aftercare and any delicate aspects will take time and learning on his part. He wants to be so gentle, caring, and sweet with you. His natural rough nature gets in the way. As any good Daddy is patient with his little girl, a good girl needs to be patient with him. And when he gets there, he gets there. You’ll be swaddled in a warm blanket, given candy and drinks, and your favorite bed-time Tv will play while you wind down. His warm, smooth tongue laps over bruises and scratches.

There’s one big thing about this Daddy: God, he just loves to watch you suck: him (specifically his foreskin), his fingers, your fingers, a lollipop, a pacifier, whatever. Lay on his chest, wrapped in a blanket, and nurse on a binkie as you fall asleep. The most common way sex starts is with a blowjob. It commonly ends that way as well. He either makes you finish him with no pleasure for you or, after you’re finished, he lays you down and deepthroats you.

Right off the bat, punishments are a main part. There’s a written list on the fridge you must obey. Though he doesn’t spank. You might act up just to get spanked, and he won’t have that. The discipline always matches the offense. Are you back talking? You’re eating something you don’t like. Is your temper too hot? You’re taking an ice-cold shower for five minutes. Are you ignoring him? Daddy’s going to rile you up then leave you hanging and whining, showing you what it’s like to be neglected.

After the punishment is complete, Ryo transitions right into aftercare. Daddy loves you enough to punish you. That love is strengthened after by his licks and kisses. Besides, Daddies who don’t show their little girl compassion and care afterward, aren’t good Daddies. He loves and respects you and wants you to know, see, and feel that.

And the punishments never push past your boundaries. You’re never put in danger. In any way. The safe word is always available. He won’t give you food you truly can’t handle for whatever reason. He’s right beside you as you shower just in case something goes wrong. The moment the water’s shut off, you’re immediately swathed in a cozy towel.

During one of his more… inflamed moods, you’re fastened in a collar. It’s pink with little flowers. The heart decoration on the front is a padlock. Only he has the key. It has ‘Daddy’s Girl’ inscribed on the back. It goes on as soon as you get home. And it stays on until you leave. There is a leash he’ll use if you aren’t behaving, holding, leading, and controlling all your movements.

There are times when he goes into (sort of) a heat. It could be a quirk side effect. It could just be him. Either way, you’re going to get completely dominated. Your hair will be pulled. Your throat will be choked and fucked. Your cheeks, both sets, will be red and raw. Scratch marks and dark bruises will stain your neck, legs, and back.

His favorite is any doggy-style position. It’s carnal and crude. Daddy has total authority since his weight bears down, caging you to the bed. Use your voice. Let him hear every gasp and cry. Beg for him. Plead for more. Pray for just one more orgasm as your hair’s tugged and clit’s smack sore. The harder you crave, the harder he thrusts.

Sweet sex is a rare time when he kisses and cuddles. Heat surrounds you. Muscled thighs and callused hands direct your weak, longing body. His tongue never leaves your mouth, licking over yours, causing drivel to drip down your chin. It may not be rough, but the sincerity and intimacy provide more than enough pleasure for an amazing orgasm. And Daddy passionately walks you through it.

[viscountessevie]

Beckett Begins

Masterlist | My AO3 A/N: Hello, everyone! I know it's been a minute since I've written for this blog and truth is I got burnt out with school but now I'm back with a piece that is incredibly close to my heart. This ficlet is centred on Sophie and a love letter for those discovering themselves and who they are outside of the usual societal norms with a side of Benophie fluff. I won't say more because I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Also shoutout to @sharmasandcorgis and @missfairygodmother for hearing out my ideas and it was so fun bouncing ideas off each other! And @pensbridgrton for getting me on board the Theo/Ben train and the Trans!Sophie agenda which inspired me to make Trans!Theo an old boyfriend of Ben's.

Happy reading everyone! I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved writing it!!

Ships: Benophie, Past!Grenville/Benedict, Past!Theo/Benedict

[FCs: Elliott Page as Trans!Theo and Ian Alexander as Sophie]

Benedict wasn't picky when it comes to dating - he has dated them all since he was 16. Men, women and everyone in between. However there's only three times Benedict would ever say he was in love - or at least thought so for the first two times. #1: It's debatable whether this person would be his first love considering the original power dynamics. As a junior in college, Benedict applied to be a Art History TA for one Professor Henry Grenville. Professor Grenville served as Benedict's mentor all the way to graduation. A couple of years later, once Benedict was settled into the postgraduate program, did they reconnect. It was a whirlwind romance that all the summer romance songs could be written about. As we all know, winds merely breeze through for a period of time and eventually dies down. As did their romance. ~~~ #2: In his mid twenties, Benedict was able to secure a day job as a museum curator to get his foot in into the art world and potentially get exposure for his own art works down the line. That's when he met Theo Sharpe, a graphic designer and the Musuem's Head of Marketing. Or rather re-met him. Benedict had known Theo under a different name and gender. Theo had quite the laugh when it finally registered to Benedict they had been acquaintances in high school. Eventually,  they realised they had different priorities in life and parted ways amicably. They still are friends today.

~~~ #3: She might be the third person he's fallen for but in his heart, Sophie Beckett will always be first. His great forever love. Anyone who knows them knows how they met. Sophie was new to town and was searching for temp jobs in the local newspaper when she saw an ad for an au pair placed by one Mrs. Kate Bridgerton-Sharma. After the first interview and meeting the children who loved her, Sophie quickly became a part of the Bridgerton-Sharma family unit. Benedict met her a few weeks later when visiting his nephews and nieces. The rest as they say is history. We all know that story, this isn't that story. Benedict has known all his life he would date anyone regardless of gender so he didn't bat an eye when the love of his life came out to him as non-binary. ~~~ Sophie Beckett never really thought about their gender. They have always felt like they had followed society's expectations for what it meant to be a woman or a feminine person. Not to mention they were too busy trying to find a way out of their stepmother's guardianship, to even think about who they were. But now after all these years, they were happy and healthy. Safe with Benedict and were able to explore themselves. They remember the moment it dawned on them that they realised they didn't quite align with being a woman. They were watching a couple of YouTube videos and one of their favourite content creator was talking about how they realized they were non-binary. In that moment, it clicked for them. Hearing another non-binary person talking about their experience contextualised their own experience. They hated how Araminta would have to force them into dresses when they preferred something more neutral. Or how they were shamed by Posy for wanting their hair just a little too short and 'boyish' at times. Every choice they ever wanted to make with their appearance was shamed and their femininity felt so performative and exhausting. They wanted to exist without labels and binaries. They were too busy trying to get out of their situation with Araminta that it never occurred them that they could fall outside of the binary scale. Until now. And the next step was telling Benedict. For some reason, they were nervous. Fiddling with their fingers, their voice was shaky. They knew Benedict was bi, but still was unsure how he would take it. "Ben, I think I might be non-binary." He looked up casually from his painting, "That's great, love. What are your pronouns?" "Can we try out they/them? I've always just felt neutral and indifferent to she/he." "Sure. How do you like the sound of this; Sophie is the best person ever. They are the love of my life." He declares it proudly. It was amazing to them how one change of pronouns could do wonders to affirm their gender. Although Sophie...it didn't quite fit anymore. It was lovely name but just wasn't theirs any no longer. It felt like a relic of the unhappy times in their life before the Bridgertons. He catches them frowning and raises any eyebrow, "What's wrong, love?" "Sophie...it doesn't feel like me. There's a lot of pain attached to it." "Maybe we can find you a new one?" He pulls out his phone and starts tapping away. He sets down his painting and crosses the room to go sit next to them. The two of them spend the afternoon scrolling through names and testing them out. They mentioned wanting to keep an S name, just a little small part of their old self. So they looked through the S section of gender neutral names. "Sabin? Sy? Sydnee?" "I like them but they aren't quite fitting." "Maybe another initial letter?" Benedict ponders out loud. They consider it. They took a few days to ponder on it. They looked through their memory box of various momentos they managed to save before leaving her stepfamily behind. While shifting through the things, they found a picture of their mother. Running their fingers across the photo, they are struck by how much they looked like their mother. No wonder Father never acknowledged them. Then just like that, it came to them. Beckett. Their only connection to a mother they

never knew but still missed and loved. They immediately went to call Benedict. "Benny, I think I've found it!" He knew what exactly what they were talking about. "Ooh, pray tell what is it, dear?" "Beck."

[sunflovverharry]

Driving Home for Christmas

a/n: hii! i wanted to make this a super cute dad!h during christmas fic so i hope you enjoy! this fic is a part of @goldenbluesuit ´s christmas song fic challenge which i’m honored to be a part of! It's the first fic challenge I’ve entered and I’ve been nervous to post something along with all these other amazing writers, but I'm excited to post this little piece centered in the dad universe. Happy reading, and remember to read the rest of the entries as well (which I’ve read some these past two weeks and they’re fab!) <3

pairing: dad!h + y/n

warnings: none! just a cute dad!h piece

word count: 3.8k

Harry was loading the trunk of their Audi, putting all their packed suitcases and bags of presents in there. The car was smack full as this year they had another addition to their family, waiting patiently for her mum to feed her before they left the city. It was snowing heavily and Anne made sure they knew they didn’t have to drive up today with the weather making the roads worse than usual. Y/n also told him a hundred times it was his decision as he was the one driving. Harry didn’t budge though, telling his mum they would definitely be there by tonight.

This year's Christmas celebrations were being spent in Cheshire with Harry’s family seeing as they were with her family in Nottingham last year. They’ve found it works best this way rather than splitting it up to go both places every year. After four years together and buying a house at the start of this year, y/n thinks this might be the last Christmas spent out of their own home. They have their two cats (Nellie and Sunny) and having their first child it might be time to start celebrating the holiday at their own house.

«Babe, did you remember to pack the board games?» Harry heard his girlfriend ask from the threshold where they had hung a mistletoe and had Harry not been busy trying to make everything fit, he definitely would’ve turned around, ran up to her and gave her a big smack on the lips. He settled for giving her a thumbs up not swirling around as he was too busy trying to figure out how he could make most of their things fit in the trunk, thinking it was just like a game of tetris. While Harry had been doing the heavy lifting and packing; y/n had put a cute Christmas onesie on the still tiny body of their daughter, definitely small for her age but she was eating like her daddy so where the weight went they had no idea.

Olive was a generally happy, cuddly baby who more often than not reached for her dad over her mum. It didn’t bother y/n that she was a daddy’s girl, knowing how much Harry loves children and now that he has his own he’s all over her. She finds the two cuddled together on the sofa, their bed or the armchair in her nursery at least a couple times a day. Her phone is now overflowing with photos of the two and she’s hoping to put together a photo album for Harry’s birthday filled with them - knowing he’d cherish it forever.

Half an hour later they were pulling out of the driveway. Harry had checked multiple times that all the lights were out, the doors were locked and the alarm system was functioning properly. Olive was smiling as she sat still in her car seat behind y/n. She had wondered if sitting in the back with her daughter would be better, but decided against it. If she got fussy they’d stop at a gas station and she’d move to the back.

The couple was tremendously excited to bring along their little bundle of happiness and get to show her off to all of Harry’s family and friends. Of course, his family have seen her when she was a newborn but living quite far away most of them only get to see them once or twice a year. It’ll change the dynamic of how they celebrate the holidays for sure, but it's a positive change. Anne will spoil her rotten, just like she does to y/n when they visit - making her tea whenever she wants some, washing their dirty laundry (which y/n didn’t care that her mother-in-law saw her underwear cause she didn’t bring anything too scandalous) and heading to the shops when they needed even the smallest thing. Really, y/n thought she was too kind for her own good. At the same time though, y/n always did play a good host when Anne visited them - spoiling her with the comfiest bed sheets, making the food for every meal, not wanting her to lift a finger as if she was the queen.

Olive was eight months - a fairly active one at that - and loves to crawl everywhere, especially to follow her mum or dad around the lower floor of their (way too big) house for only the three (five) of them. Since the pair hadn’t brought Olive with them for such a long drive, the longest being an hour, they were anxious to find out how she’d react to being confined over a longer period of time.

Half an hour in and Olive was babbling away to the teddy bear in her arms (she got it from her nephews when she was born and has been attached to it since) as Harry and y/n talked about how excited they were for their daughter to explore her daddy´s hometown and how his whole family and friends would fall in love with Olive even more. With their little girl just starting to sleep all through the night in her own room, Anne wanted to make sure she got her own room at her nana's too, so apparently she’s cleaned the office and made it into a makeshift nursery for her granddaughter.

Y/n doesn’t know who’s more excited to see all the familiar faces, the family that’s become not only important to her in the last four years, but now also to their baby. The last time they visited Cheshire, y/n was barely two months pregnant and as tough as it was to keep it hidden from Anne for another month, they managed to keep it to the two of them (with just a handful of slip-ups). They were sure Anne knew they were having a baby with the small smirks she gave y/n and harry when she didn’t want the wine - Harry keeping to non-alcoholics in solidarity with her - which was unregular for her, normally jumping on the thought of having a glass or two after a long day.

“You know mum won’t give her up after she gets her hands on her right as we walk through the front door? Might want to hop in the back and get your fix before we get there.” Harry let out a chuckle with y/n joining in knowing just how true his words were. Anne was a godsend of a grandmother, taking Olive in her arms doting over her until she’ll start crying for her daddy. Though everyone gives her all the attention she could wish for, no one could ever do what Harry can. He’s her favorite, no matter how much I wish I could be.

Another half hour later and we were making our first stop at a local gas station in Aylesbury. We were about a third of the way in, but the weather was getting harsher with the snow falling harder and the wind picking up just a little bit. While Harry filled the car up with gas and made sure Olive didn’t start fussing, y/n went inside to get a couple snacky items for the three of them and a filled up cup of coffee for her boyfriend. Coming out of the station she could see Harry in the back with his love bug, bringing her out of the car seat as her cute little wails haltered. She was due for a feed, so they found a secluded space to park so no one would stare at her while breastfeeding their daughter.

Sitting in the front passenger seat with her daughter attached to her nipple with her baby daddy sitting in the driver's seat next to her they spent the next twenty minutes singing along to the Christmas songs playing one after the other on the radio.

Y/n had always loved this time of year - the snow, the songs (which - admittedly - she listened to throughout the entire year), the decorations, the joy and cheer. With y/n and Harry moving in together a month before Christmas, only half a year after they first began dating, they had a mutual understanding for how they would go all out with lights, trees and decorations both on the inside and outside. Though their house was gated with a high fence along the perimeter of their entire land. The trees lining the driveway all the way from the gate to where the gravel road extends into two, one leading to the garage and the other to the front door, were now lit up with strings of light going through them. It was only the beginning to their decorations, but it couldn’t be seen from the gate. More lights were lit along the house, windows were accentuated by red tape creating squares with spray along it, making it seem like snow on the glass. Though there aren’t tons of colourful lights, outside at least, the inside is littered with different colours, shining and sparkling along the staircases, mantels, dressers, counters and tables.

Olive felt like there was something new to look at, touch and be amazed by in every room of their house. As the clock sets seven in the morning, like clockwork, Harry hears Olive’s wails for him to get her out of the crib so she can move around. He kisses y/n’s forehead as he lets her sleep for another half hour to an hour like every morning before pulling on a pair of boxers and some pajama pants if it’s cold to get his daughter from her nursery across the hall.

The two of them were like two giggling girlfriends when they finally saw each other for the first time that day, not being able to keep their smiles from their similar lips. Walking downstairs Olive points at the garland wrapping the staircase and every time she sees it, a small sound of surprise and excitement exit her puckered lips. Harry talks to her about how good her mama is at decorating their house and how good it looks good for Christmas (he only helped her put up decorations, following her direct orders). Y/n had a certain way she liked to decorate and with this being the first Christmas in their house she wanted everything to look perfect.

Coming into the kitchen after turning the dimmed lights on low to have some lighting in the morning dark they had a little shimmy along the floor. Olive babbled along with Harry’s singing and mumbling to her explaining how the buttons on the walls turned on the different lights. She probably didn’t understand or care about the lights, but the two continued singing and talking about nonsense along the way. In the kitchen, Harry made her a bottle she demanded having before getting started on the omelette he makes for him and y/n every morning he’s home without fail.

When they finally got back on the road the snow was coming down heavily and the only thing they could see were the lines of cars in front of them on the M40 pushing the break every few seconds before accelerating again moving only a couple meters before breaking again. Y/n didn’t have a lot of patience in traffic - or in general - and quickly became annoyed making Harry laugh at her telling her to calm down (she wasn’t even the one who had to drive through this horrible weather). This lasted for another forty-five minutes before the snow let up just a little bit and the cars seemed to roll along the road like normal.

“I didn’t think driving home for Christmas would take this long. At least, I hoped it wouldn’t.” They’d been on the road since nine thirty this morning and now, two and a half hours later, they still have at least another two hours left until they’re at Anne’s. It wasn’t unusual for y/n to call Anne’s home, having stayed there for weeks at a time during the almost five years her and Harry have known each other. Harry isn’t unknown to calling y/n’s parents’ house his home either.

“I know. Wish it didn’t have to take this long and I’m sure little Ollie is going to get antsy soon. If the weather continues like this and we don’t have to take more than one more break, I think we’ll be there within three hours, but if we run into traffic, we might have to take more stops along the way.” Harry wanted to move along quickly to get to his mum’s before Olive’s nap time around three, if she didn’t end up sleeping in the car. We knew when we decided to drive in the morning that Olive would probably stay up the whole way, too engrossed with the cars and lights along the way to ever be able to fall asleep.

“You know what we should do to keep her happy for another half hour at least?” Y/n turned to look at Harry with a smile grazing her lips. “Play some Christmas music! She loves when we sing and dance around the house.” Playing the memories of hearing Olive’s belly laughter through the house while Harry and her danced in circles around her like another pair of idiots.

Putting on the same Christmas song list they’ve played since making it together all those years ago, the first song coming on shuffle being Santa Claus is Coming to Town. The noise was at a comfortable volume so they could still hear Olive if she started fussing though it’s unlikely and for it to not be too disturbing for Harry’s driving. With Olive seated with her back to them she couldn’t see her mummy dancing in her seat while they sang along to song after song, but she heard her parents’ voices singing out to the songs she’s heard oh so many times before.

“This is accurate, huh?” Harry snickered as Driving Home for Christmas began playing through the speakers.

“You don’t say.” It was one of their favorite songs and it fit the scene they were in, driving home for Christmas, excited to see their family, singing along the slowly getting better traffic. Looking around at the cars next to them, most of them looked to be families also driving home to be with their families for this year's holiday celebrations.

The rest of the drive was filled with more singing, two more stops for Harry to give his baby some cuddles and walking around one of the local Tesco’s they stopped at to get some more drinks and snacks. Olive was waving at everyone walking past us and talking all kinds of gibberish. While y/n grabbed the snacks, Harry had Olive walking along the aisles in between his feet while holding her little hands in his following her around the store.

A quarter to three they finally made it to Anne’s home, reversing into the driveway so they could get their baggage inside easier later in the day. Y/n saw Anne open the front door in the rearview mirror when Harry was pulling in the last meters. There was a bright smile on her face when we got out of the car. The snow had laid thick on the ground up north and the slick ice underneath made it harder to walk without having to make sure every step was carefully thought out.

Just minutes later Olive was already crawling with her little legs all over her grandma’s home, interested in anything and everything she could get her chubby hands on not seeming to be tired at all. They decided to forgo her nap and hope for an early night, which isn’t likely with everything going on around her. Anne was on granny duties right away telling the pair to sit down and relax with the tea she had prepared while she took care of the baby. There was no doubt she loved the attention from the person she might not remember from this summer but quickly became attached to, almost as much as she is to her daddy.

Harry found his place on the sofa, head in y/n’s lap and feet hanging over the armrest demanding her fingers curling through his locks. It wasn’t surprising to her that he was tired from driving the entirety of the way in traffic and tightly packed snow at times. Sure, if needed he could have stayed awake, but with his mum taking care of his little love he didn’t care much, falling asleep to his other love combing her fingers through his hair. It didn’t happen too often that they could have a cuddle in the middle of the day - just the two of them - with Olive needing their attention at all hours of the day so when the opportunity arose he wasn’t going to turn it down. He admits, though this is nice as well, that a naked cuddle in bed would definitely top laying on the sofa with his mum and daughter running around them. Maybe tonight, he thinks, as he finally falls asleep to the sound of Olive’s giggles.

As nighttime inched closer and Olive’s bedtime was passing them in the chatter and laughter, y/n told Harry to get their things from the car while she nurses Olive before getting her ready for bed. While they took care of their daughter, Anne made a nice spread of cheese and crackers for them to indulge tonight while catching up on everything that’s been going on in their lives since the last time she visited them in London.

Harry found Olive’s bag first, choosing a pair of christmassy pajamas from the mountain of clothes they had brought for her. Y/n walked upstairs to the nursery Anne had set up, seeing Harry already unpacking her bags into the cute vintage turquoise chiffonier Anne had bought from a neighbour only a couple weeks ago immediately falling in love with it.

«Would you like to have a cuddle with daddy before bed, Ollie?» Y/n firmly believed her daughter needed the nightly cuddle from Harry, just like she does, to fall asleep. She was already reaching out for him with her nimble hands waiting for him to take her in for a snuggle in his arms. There was no armchair in the makeshift nursery like they had purchased for Olive’s nursery back home where they always sat but Harry made it work. Anything for a cuddle with his baby growing way too quick for his liking.

It was no secret Harry loved babies and that only heightened when he had his own baby. With how good Olive is and how lush it’s been having a baby around and it not be just the two of them, he had thought about what it would be like with another baby around. Another little love for them to have, give Olive a sister or brother to play with. He hadn’t said anything to y/n about the thoughts he’d been having, not knowing if she'd agree with him. It’s been eight months and when they had talked about it before they agreed on a maximum of two years between their children.

Only a couple hours later they headed to bed themselves, ready for a good night's sleep before another long day tomorrow. Harry had been debating with himself whether he was going to mention babies to y/n or not - ultimately ended up with yes, he would mention it. Now they were finally alone with y/n resting her head on Harry’s pillow, her fingers delicately drawing patterns on his chest.

“I have something I’d like to discuss with you.” Harry’s voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper, not wanting to ruin the calmness around them. He wasn’t nervous so to say, but he felt his pulse quicken the tiniest bit at the thought of getting turned down. Y/n turned her head to watch Harry as he pulled her in as close as he could without suffocating her.

“It’s been lovely having Olive, right? Seems like it was meant to be to have a baby and during the holidays it’s been so fun watching her so interested in everything.” Y/n murmured her answer. She had loved having a little one to care for and to fill their days with joy over the last eight months.

“Well, with how well it’s been going with her, I was thinking we could talk about having another little one? Maybe discuss it a bit. What do you say, let's make Ollie a big sister?”

“I think we might be well on the way to making her a sister, bub.” Harry turned his head at lightning speed hearing her words, not knowing if he heard her quite right. His open mouth and big round eyes weren’t something she saw often combined as she wasn’t always the best at surprising him, but this time she was sure her secret had come as a big shock. It wasn’t as if they had been trying for a baby either, only forgetting a condom a handful times when they were too in the moment to care for it.

She found out only a week ago, thinking she could keep it to herself until Christmas day. It wasn’t difficult to hide it from him, not struggling with morning sickness and only craving sweets as if she was on her period. Knowing they had agreed on the number of children they wanted - four - she wasn’t scared of him reacting badly.

“You’re not joking, right?” Harry smashed his lips onto his girlfriends when she shook her head - no, i’m not joking - kissing her slow and long, showing her just how happy he was. They spent the night talking about how thrilled and excited they were to expand their family with more children and how great of a sister Olive would be. Baby names were flying between them, agreeing to never naming one of their babies after a city, but rather continuing naming them something more unique than Chloe or Adam.

The rest of the holiday spent up north with Harry’s family was relaxing and lovely all around. Playing board games, exploring the city with Olive (who was way too fascinated by all the snow), family dinner parties and having fun with friends they didn’t get to see all too often. Olive was wiped out after opening her presents on Christmas morning and spending all her energy on all the toys she got and the paper ripping she played with (more than the toys to be honest).

This year had been special for the family and Christmas was just the same. Olive was lively and it made y/n and Harry exhausted with everything going on, but they wouldn’t change it for the world. After all, Olive was their little girl and soon there would be another little love in their family. Trying to keep the pregnancy from their family and friends was easier this time around as she could blame not drinking alcohol on her breastfeeding and decided they would keep it hidden from everyone until the last possible minute.

[p---ink]

Stark Contrasts: Chapter Two

Author’s Note: Hey guys, an anon asked for angst, so I gave them a bunch of drama with this chapter. Though I personally wouldn’t classify this as angst, im gonna tag it that way. I think angst is more like a story with a depressing tone, but this is more so dramatic if anything.  But don’t worry I sprinkled in a bit of fluff and some smut to lighten it up a bit. This is a sequel to Stark Contrasts, which I recommend reading first in order to get a background of what led to this chapter. Caution, I used google translate, to add in some French. If any French readers find it offensive or wrong, let me know so I can take it out or edit it. I really hope you enjoy reading this chapter, it took me over a week to write due to writer’s block, but I am pretty happy with the outcome. Once again PLEASE DON’T REPOST MY WORK! 

Summary: Edward Stark realizes the errors of his ways towards the reader, and tries to woo her in order to save their relationship.

Warnings: Smut, Angst, cheating, age gap, daddy kink, etc. 

Song: From Eden by Hozier for the first half, and Run by Hozier for the second. 

Word Count: 11.2k.

Parts: one | two | three | four | five

Chapter Title: Daddy Issues. 

So much had changed since your night with Tony. For one, the entire dynamics of your relationship. Long gone were the unsure lovers with unresolved sexual tension. You two were more confident in your affections now, and this made you reach a new level of comfort within each other and within yourselves. Through the eyes of a stranger, the description would be that of an old—in love, married couple. 

Though he was much older, you were the more mature one. Tony enjoyed doing things just to annoy you. He found your irritation both adorable and sexy. You would get so pouty, and your voice would go up at least three octaves. If he really did his job right, you would end up banging your small fists against his chest, which he thought was the cutest shit in the world. He took pleasure in poking the sides of your stomach, when you were performing tasks that took your attention away from him. “Kitten,” he’d whine when you were entranced in a book, “put that down, and come and play with me.” Then he would lay his head in your lap and talk about absolutely nothing until you noticed him. He only ever drew the line in his endeavors when you were studying. He preferred his head attached to his neck, rather than rolling on the ground. 

Besides always trying to piss you off, he religiously spoiled you rotten. That extravagant lace pale blue body con dress that you saw in your favorite shop? Better believe you’d find it on your bed the next day after Edward left for work and you were getting ready for classes. He would place expensive Cartier bracelets around your breakfast muffins, and bvlgari necklaces around the necks of gifted stuffed animals. He loved buying you luxurious gifts, ranging from earrings to bags. But besides your pleading for him to stop, he knew you struggled to find ways to hide it. If he happened to notice it, explaining to Edward where you got the money to pay for diamond encrusted rings would prove difficult. You were only able to wear your shiny new gifts when you were out with Tony; he found other ways to spoil you however. There were many days, where you had nothing planned, and he’d surprise you with a day at the spa, or a night on the sky in his private helicopter. If it had been up to him, everyone in the world would know you were his, but he just couldn’t risk being seen with you. Because of this fact, he had to become creative with the ways he treated you. From the rooftop dates in secluded towns to the lavish wine tastings alone in Napa, you had experienced more with Tony than you had in your entire life. When he could arrange bullshit business events for Edward to attend, he gave you bullshit reasons to fly with him to Paris, Italy, Greece, and everywhere in between. While Edward had his trips, the two of you had your own. 

Of course you always felt it was too much when he would do all of this. However, no matter how much you begged him to stop spending money on you, he never listened; it was like second nature for him to give you the world and more. He felt it necessary for someone he believed created the moon and stars. 

Most who knew him closely thought he was an asshole. He would often over-talk, dismiss, and challenge others. They always pinpointed on his shortcomings, forgetting that he was a good man in the process. He was a genius billionaire philanthropist, for fuck-sake, who many a time sacrificed his own desires for the wellbeing of others. This is why he always felt guilty. The one thing he kept to himself, the one thing he was not willing to give up, was you, even though you belonged to someone else. 

He just wouldn’t give you up though. Tony adored you. When the rest of the world felt like pollution in his lungs, you were his breath of fresh air. He was intoxicated by you. Enamored in your existence. He saw you as perfect which he knew was impossible in a world full of imperfections. 

He became obsessed with your hair, curious as to how it could defy gravity some days, then dance on your shoulders the next. He needed to know the secret on why the sun resided in your skin, giving it a mahogany glow, with golden undertones.  Your soft full lips, coffee-colored with a tint of pink, were his eternal bliss. It didn’t matter if you smelled of his sex the morning after or if your tired eyes were baggy from a night of studying, he knew you were the most beautiful person he laid eyes on. It was just as simple as that.

Tony wasn’t the only one to change. One could argue you became more bold. Where he showed his love through gifts and adoration, you showed yours through care and touch. “Tony, you’re working too hard. Come to bed now," you’d urge when you’d find him in his study hunched over a stack of papers at his desk. If he had too much on his hands, you would happily take over to help him get done sooner. You were surprisingly stubborn, and would stand firm in your attempts to get him to take care of himself. Though Tony loved annoying you, he hated when you were worried. If he was sick, you’d drop everything to tend to his needs. Whether it was making homemade soup, or driving halfway across town to get a specific type of medicine; you would do it for him no hesitation. It got the point that whenever he wasn’t feeling well, he tried to hide it. In a way being ill made him feel insecure and old. You couldn’t give a shit about those silly worries of his though, because if he needed to be taken care of, that’s what would happen. When nameless idiots over the internet spoke bad on his name, you were the first to draw your sword to defend him. You could never tell him that, but the screen name Tonysbitch99 wasn’t really fooling anyone; how could it when the anonymous face behind the name would say exactly what you would? To you, your love felt minuscule in comparison to his. It’s the reason you hated when he spoiled you. Tony however, appreciated your gestures, and felt that he was the one that was lacking. In reality your love language complemented each other perfectly. His love for you was loud and vocal, whereas yours moved silently. He needed you to ground him, while you needed him to drown out any shadow of a doubt that his actions were genuine. Besides, what could you possibly do for a man that had everything in the world?

Among other things that were now different was the constant sex. You two fucked like rabbits. He once cleared out an entire store just so he could fuck you in your dressing room. Your favorite times were when he didn’t clear the store at all. “Daddy, someone might hear us” you’d moan into his skin while he thrusted into you against a wall. “I want them to.” He would counter, before picking up the pace to build your reaction. On the way home from dining out, you would often ride him in the backseat of his car, the two of you clawing at each others skin desperate to get closer. When you just couldn’t wait to get home from your outings, he would start fingering you underneath the restaurant table while whispering sweet-nothings into your ear; this usually resulted into you getting dragged to the nearest bathroom stall. On nights where Edward was home, he would come up with any excuse to get you alone so he could bury himself into you. The two of you were playing a dangerous game, but Tony was an addict and he didn’t plan on stopping any time soon. 

Perhaps the person to change the most though, was Edward. Whether it was because he learned to work hard for the things he desired in life, or the fact that said things could be taken away from him in an instant, he was changing. Most importantly, he saw that you were changing. Tony and you may have thought him to be a self-absorbed idiot, but he saw the fading love marks that littered your neck. He saw the expensive shopping bags filled with shoes and high-end lace, carefully tucked away in your shared closet as if it was meant to be hidden. The new housekeeper bought your hand-stitched lingerie in with the laundry, smiling to him relishing in how lucky he was. But you didn’t wear that for him. He saw the way you bounced around without a care in the world, even though he had not done right by you for the entirety of your relationship. Who was all of this for? Whose texts were you chuckling at while you laid in bed so late at night? Whose scent was embedded in your bedroom sheets? Whose hickeys bruised the surface of your skin? Who was all of this for? 

It was true that he was somewhat of a different man now. Edward in the past would have accused you of being the biggest slut in the world. This Edward however, knew that he had no room for anger. He had absolutely no room for judgement. He had cheated on you since the genesis of it all. That didn’t change the fact that he loved you. He meant it when he said you were his forever girl, and that you were the best thing to ever happen to him. How could he be so foolish and let you give his love away?

“Dad,” he started, looking up to observe the older man. He and Tony were currently sitting opposite in their breakfast nook. Tony with his legs folded, newspaper in hand, orange juice in the other, hadn’t even looked up to acknowledge him. All that could be heard was a barely audible “Hmm?” 

“I think maybe I need some time off from the company” He stated.

Expecting his father to just be okay with that, he was slightly taken aback when Tony replied, “Why is that?” briefly meeting his eyes before returning to the words on his paper. 

“Well, its actually about Y/N” at this, he had his full attention. 

“What’s wrong with Y/N? Is she sick?” Slight panic dripping in his words.

“Well no but…” he began, trying to find the words to say. 

“But what Edward? Use your words, kid!” He demanded, tone a few notes away from a shout. He saw the surprise in his son’s face, so he straightened himself and said “Sorry. It's just you know how close we are. She’s my best friend.” He wanted to say you were his girlfriend, but best friend reigned true as well. 

“Well,” Edward began again “Our relationship is in shambles. I’m pretty sure she’s cheating on me and I don’t want to lose her. She might be the only woman who’s gonna put up with my shit. And I know she’s genuine because she doesn’t ask for my money. I feel like if I’m here more, I have a chance of rekindling our connection” Edward stated, confiding in his father, hoping to find some sense of relief. He hadn’t realized how hurt he was. Is this how he made you feel? Tony almost felt guilty. But protectiveness over you soon clouded his sense of remorse. Who was he to try and take you away from him? 

He examined his son. The younger boy looked like he hit copy paste on his mother’s genes. They shared the same facial features, down to her high cheek bones, only Edward had raven black hair and dark brown eyes. He was more compared to Robert Pattinson than he was to his own father, even though he looked nothing like either of them. Man, genes were a funny thing. 

Tony thought about his words. It was true that you were humble and any other woman with an ounce of self-respect would have hit the door running the minute they found out how sleazy Edward had been. You almost did, until you met his father.

He put down his newspaper, turned to Edward and took in a sharp breath before saying, “She is taken care of, so you have nothing to worry about. There isn’t any unknown man coming in from off the street sniffing around your woman.” Tony chose his words carefully. They were cautiously crafted so that he technically told the truth. He was many things, but he hated to be called a liar. 

He read the uncertainty in Edward’s face, then continued his case. “In all honesty, Ed, you know I need you at your desk. You wanted this, are you really gonna let your insecurities get in the way of that? If so, maybe I should find someone better to take your—” 

Quickly interrupting his rambles, “No dad, listen. I don’t want to give up my seat. I’ll just have to find some other way to solve our issues.” 

“Exactly what issues do you have?” Tony pressed, eyebrows knitting together. 

“Don’t ask me how I know, but she’s cheating on me. I’m sure of it.” He confirmed, staring blankly into his father’s eyes. What does know? Tony thought to himself. Does he know it’s me? “Besides why are you getting so defensive?” Edward challenged. “It almost sounds as if you’re mad.”

“It’s just I know what kind of girl she is.” He defended, throwing his hands up and sitting back in his seat a bit. “She wouldn’t cheat on the man she loves. And I’m sure she cares about what you think.” Taking in his words after a moment, Edward chuckled to himself. His dad was right, you had to care about him. Why else would you still be here despite how much he had put you through. 

“Thanks dad. I think I was worried about nothing for a second there.” In the back of his mind, he still knew you were sleeping around, but now he was certain that it was all done as a cry for help. You just wanted his attention. He felt silly. He smiled to himself, then to his father. Tony returned a weak smile; the rest of his face couldn’t fake the empty sentiment. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, you came in to distract them. You came bounding down the staircase on your way to make some breakfast before your trek to school. Both of the men instantly averted their attention away from each other, to instead lay it onto you. 

It was a cool fall day, so you were wearing a cropped white turtleneck that you paired with a pleated floral skirt. Long tan thigh high boots hugged your brown legs in just the right way, and you wore a simple (but expensive) necklace that Tony purchased for you. You used to care, but now you thought nothing of it since you knew Edward never paid any attention to you. Today happened to be one of those days that you were wrong. While Edward silently fumed over your choice of jewelry, Tony thought of new ways to violate you. With your consent, of course. 

Focused on the iPad in your hands, you failed to notice anyone else in the room until you heard the creak of a wooden chair. Looking up from your device, you were greeted by the men of the house eyeing you meticulously. “Oh sorry. Good morning” you smile, shy from the sudden attention.

“Good morning sweetheart” “–Morning babe.” Tony and Edward say simultaneously, surprising each other, and surprising you. As they say it,  their necks snap towards each other for just a second and their expressions match; furrowed brows and clenched jaws. Your eyes widen for a second before you continue on with your business. 

Before swallowing the awkward silence, Tony begins, “You’re down here pretty early. Do you have something important to do?” 

“I don’t have anything planned, I just wanted to wake up early to get some things done before class.” You returned, searching the cupboards.  

Upon hearing your plans to do nothing, Edward sparked up an idea. He cleared his throat, and rose from his seat to hesitantly trudge over to you. At the moment, you were standing on your toes trying to reach your favorite coffee mug in the top of the cupboard. Tony always placed it there to watch you struggle, just like he was doing right now. While taking pleasure in how cute you looked bouncing up and down, he hadn’t noticed Edward leave from his seat until he blocked his view. He shadowed your form to place a hand over yours bringing down your mug. Slightly startled, by his touch, you dropped it. It fell into his hand before it could shatter on the floor. “I’m sorry for scaring you.” He chortled, turning his lips into his famous sexy grin. It did nothing but repulse you. 

“Its fine.” As you take your mug and turn away from him to pour your coffee, Edward wraps his hands around your hips to turn your body towards him. You were now facing Tony, but even if you weren’t you would be able to sense the daggers he was throwing into Edward’s back. His orange juice glass was on the verge of shattering, and the wood on the table threatened to splinter his fingers, from the grip he had on it. He wasn’t supposed to touch you. 

“So I was thinking” Edward began, dragging his thoughts out. “Since you don’t have any plans, I’m taking you out tonight.” You mentally cursed yourself for going into detail about your day in front of him. Mouth agape in utter disgust, you were at a loss for words. Tony could think of a few he wanted to say; however, but he stayed silent. Edward took your silence as surprise. In his eyes, you were happy to finally be spending some time with him. Everyone just stared at each other. Edward at you, you at Edward, and Tony back and forth between the both of you. “I can tell you’re happy.” His hands began to roam up and down your sides as he spoke. He drew a line up your spine, and pressed his lips to your ear before whispering, “Make sure to wear something sexy—”

“Edward sweetie, as the boss, don’t you think you should be at work bright and early.” Tony advised. Saving both you, and Edward. He worked very hard to ensure his words didn’t fall through gritted teeth.

Without taking his eyes off of you, Edward rolled them and smirked at you, as if you too were frustrated with Tony for cock-blocking. He quickly pecked your lips and went to grab his workbag. Your eyes followed his movement about the room. Just before exiting the house, he turned back to you to say “Be ready at seven” and then he turned the knob to leave.  

You, Tony, and silence were all alone together. You didn’t dare look at him, but the side of your face was burning from the glare he had on it. Acting as if nothing happened, you turn back around to prepare your day.  

Still staring in your direction, it was now Tony’s turn to get up. He leaped from his seat to take long strides towards you. He stopped just short of where you were standing, waiting for you to acknowledge him. You tried to busy your hands with your current task, cracking eggs into a bowl, waiting for him to break the silence; he was waiting for you to do the same. The sound of egg yolks hitting the surface of the bowl, followed by the stirring of a whisk were the only noises to be heard in the kitchen. 

“Yes, my love?” You ask after a few moments, the quiet becoming too unbearable. 

“Why aren’t you looking at me?” He replied, eyes boring into the side of your head. 

“Tony what are you talking about. I’m busy.” You sigh, growing annoyed. 

“Well fine, if you won’t look me in the eyes, can you at least answer me this? What. The Fuck. Was That?” He asked, soaking his words in drama. He placed his hand flat onto the counter awaiting an answer.

“I honestly don’t know.” You answer truthfully, still whisking your eggs. 

“Well did you two make up?” Tony pressed.

“No, I guess—”

“Well then why did he kiss you?”

“Tony, I don’t know wh—”

“Well then why don’t you know?”

“Could you let me finish!” You shouted before giving him your undivided attention. Your outburst both surprised and shut him up. “I don’t know why he kissed me. I don’t know why he asked me out on a date. We did not make up, because as usual we don’t say a word to each other. Fucking hell, this has been the first time in a year since we’ve been in the same room for longer than a minute, besides when we’re asleep.” You end your rant with this “All that I know is this, I don’t care. I’m not going on that date because I would rather spend the night with you. To be completely frank, I think I’d rather spend the night in a closet with murderous clowns, than go on a date with your shitty son.” With that, you walk away to aggressively click on the stove to begin cooking your breakfast. 

“Well,” Tony began, only slightly taken aback. “I know he’s shitty, but you didn’t have to say it. He is still my son, so I’m the only one who reserves the right to call him a shitty.” He chuckled, leaning opposite to you against the counter, looking down to observe your actions. 

“And to that I say, when you do a piss-poor job at raising a man to respect women, then anyone reserves the right to call them shitty.” You comment, meeting his eyes with a small smile before turning back to your  cooking. 

Tony smirked at your remark. “Blame his mom, because I’m a total feminist.” He grasped your chin to turn it towards him, bringing his face down to kiss yours before abruptly stopping. He took a paper towel from the bar, and began wiping your lips, earning a glare from you, that soon turned into a fit of laughter. His smirk only grew wider at his successful attempt to diminish your anger. 

“You make me sick.” You roared, calming down from your fit, before wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in for a deep kiss. When you were ready to let go, Tony wasn’t. Ignoring his needy looks, you turned back around to your task at hand. Like that, the mood changed from light-hearted, to serious in an instant. Unsatisfied, Tony moved from his spot at the counter to wrap his arms around your middle, pulling you flush against his chest. 

“You know I could get used to you yelling at me. It really turns me on” he said, rocking from side to side which made you sway in his arms. 

“Babe.”

“Hmm.” He hummed, rubbing a finger down your spine the same way Edward did earlier, only this time instead of chills and shivers, you felt warm tingles. 

Not now.” You warned, already knowing where this was going. He pushed a bang behind your ear to admire your neck.

“Why not. Can’t you skip school for just one day?” Tony responds, fanning his lips over your ear.

“ No. No I cannot.” You reply, trying to overlook the kisses he planted against your neckline, and the traveling hands against your curves. 

“Then just be a little late.” He said, palming your chest, taking his time to massage the fleshy mounds. You lose your composure as he brings a hand down your sternum to dip underneath your skirt. You both groaned, him at how wet you were, and you at how good his hands felt. “Besides I know you wanna stay a little longer.” His voice was shaky and husky, and he was about to snap, which made your knees like jelly. 

“Tony, please.” You were going for stern, but your demands came out in labored pants. You felt his hardened member pressed against your ass and back, and you knew if you didn’t stop him now, there was no way you were leaving the house any time soon. You unfastened his hands from your waist, and pushed him away from you before continuing your cooking. You cleared your throat to say “Maybe later.”

Seemingly defeated, Tony started with a sigh “Fine. No more teasing. But I’m hungry.” 

“I have time to make you some French toast or pancakes.” You respond, placing your cooked breakfast on a plate and turning the stove off. 

“I think I’ll have you instead.” He says, before planting one more kiss beneath your ear.

“No thanks love.” You chuckle. 

“I wasn’t asking,” he retorted, before hoisting you up by your knees and placing you on the island away from the stove. You laugh in the process, knowing that this was inevitable. Upon sitting you down, his lips were on yours in an instant. Hurried sloppy kisses, covered your mouth and jaw as he explored your body with his fingers. As he traced his the index along your collarbone he realized he found new things to worship every time. His lips were hot and wet on your skin, both burning and soothing everything in their path. Breaking the kiss for just a moment, he brushed passed your shoulder  to push everything that was on the kitchen-top’s surface to the ground. 

“You’re cleaning that up this time.” You exhaled, before grabbing his face to bite his bottom lip, something you knew drove him crazy. 

“Fuck it princess, it’s worth it.” He groaned, before roughly pushing you down, while being careful enough to not injure your head. He reached up your thighs and under your skirt, to pull your panties down your legs and over your boots. 

“Let me take these off” you suggest, lifting the band to your shoes, but he raised his hand up to stop you, eyeing you through his tousled brown locks. 

“I like them on.” He pressed a gentle kiss against your exposed skin, before saying “I’m keeping these by the way.” in reference to your lacy black underwear, before stuffing them in his back pocket. He bent down to pepper love-marks along each leg before lifting your skirt to place a soft kiss against your entrance. There was no time for him to be a tease, so he quickly dived his tongue between your folds, and he began writing his full name into your lips. The name Anthony Edward Stark felt both long and short, as it was being etched into your core. Shocks of what felt like electricity rippled through your spine, as your pussy purred to his beckoning. You were a fucking mess. He let a string of spit fall from his lips and onto yours, before flattening his tongue to gather the mixture, slurping and suckling in the process . Your eyes started to roll to the back of your head, until Tony pinched your clit. This became his favorite signal for you to give him your attention, the jolt always conflicted your pain and pleasure receptors. You loved and hated eye contact. That feeling of vulnerability sent your mind into a frenzy. But Tony refused to let you look away; he was obsessed with the way your face looked when you came undone. He began making the lewdest sounds against your cunt, tonguing it in the same way he’d do your mouth. You made a mess of his face. Your juices were dripping down your folds and in between your cheeks; what his tongue didn’t catch spilled onto the island. With his face buried in your box, his nose would lightly brush your clit, sending you straight into ecstasy. 

You slightly squeezed around his head, only to have him pry your legs open. His tongue fucked your hole, making you clench around it.  You were already so close, but Tony wanted this to last—that way, you’d be bursting at the seems by the time he was finished with you. “Someone wants to be fucked senseless, doesn’t she?” He asked as he raised up, licking his lips. Smirking down at you, he lifted your sweater up to your chin, in order reveal your happy breasts. He then pulled your bra under them to get a full view of the spread.  

Dragging you closer to the edge, he massaged his fingers into your pussy, running them through your lips, while watching you squirm underneath his touch. He placed a hand between your thigh, kneading the immediate area with his thumb. He was enjoying the view, but knew that he only had a few minutes left; so, he pulled his pants down, coated his length with the hand he previously used to massage you with, and sunk into you no warning. 

You took in a sharp breath, tears welling in your eyes and chest rising and falling. As many times as you had been with him, you still weren’t used to his size. “Shit, kitten. I’m sorry, I thought you were ready for me” he swore, grunting at the feel of you. Despite the overwhelming pleasure, he wouldn’t move until you said it was okay. 

When the pain subsided pleasure quickly took over. You looked him in his eyes to say “Please wreck me baby.” He crooked his neck to look at you sideways for a second as if to ask ‘are you sure?’, dick twitching inside of it. You were more than sure. Then, before you were able to comprehend he snapped his hips forward, drilling into you at a brutal pace. Your moans and pants turned into screams, and you braced your hands against his abs. He grabbed your wrists to steady himself, so that he could thrust deeper into you. He loved this shit. The way your chest bounced. Your broken moans and cries. Even the expressions you wore, were enough to spur him on. 

“I can do this all day!” He growled, relentlessly hammering into you. He thought your tight little cunt was euphoria. At this point you felt like he was in your stomach, threatening to go further. You felt your dam about to break once more, but he was a step ahead of you. 

He sat you up and pulled you off the counter, quickly turning you around, ridding you of your orgasm again. Frustrated, you wiggled your ass, and pressed it against him, desperate for his touch. This earned you a harsh slap against the cheek. “Don’t play that game with me, unless you don’t wanna walk for a week” he warned before digging his nails into your skin. Within a second after that, his cock vanished behind your walls, instantly hitting your g-spot. You yelped throwing your hands back to cushion the slaps between his thighs and your own. Tony grabbed them, and like before,  used them to pull you back onto him. “No, no princess. Take all of me baby. I want you to feel it all.” He growled, slamming his frustrations into you. The cabinet doors below you were shaking from the impact of your thighs. Your nipples, slid across the cool countertops as Tony stroked in and out you. You laid your head down on the counter, strength leaving you as he rocked you back and forth.

To reach a better angle, he grabbed one of your knees, lifting it to lay beside your hip against the counter. He then leaned over, so that your back was against his chest. “This pussy is mine, do you understand?”

“Yes daddy.” You whimper. 

“I’m sorry what was that?” He challenges, grabbing a fistful of curls to yank, lifting you both back up.

“I said yes daddy” you shout, approaching your orgasm once more. 

Tony roughly grabs your chin to turn it towards him, pressing his forehead against yours. “I can tell you’re close princess. I can feel you getting tighter around me. But good girls always ask before they cum. Beg for it.” He whispered. 

You knew he wasn’t joking, but you wore your worried expression on your face. “Don’t be shy kitten. It’s just you and me.” He assured, lightly kissing your lips as he spoke. 

“Please let me cum Tony.” 

“Do you think you deserve to?” He questioned, suddenly ticked off from Edward’s bold gestures earlier. His lips ghosted over yours and he began slowing his moments, to really pound himself into your core. “You’re a filthy little slut for letting another man touch you.” On any other occasion, his words would have pissed you off, but in this moment they just made you wetter. 

“I only want you to touch me daddy, I’m sorry” You whine, throwing your ass back onto his cock, determined to take your orgasm, but wary of the consequences if you do. 

He gripped your neck with one hand, and grabbed a tit with the other. He fondled and massaged the breast, while applying pressure with the hand on your neck. He places his face to the side of yours, chin hairs tickling your cheek.“Do you promise to never let that happen again? Hmm?’” He presses, squeezing your breast and tweaking your nipple. All of this was happening while he was continuing his movements in and out of you.

“I promise baby, please just let me cum.” You screamed. You were losing your composure, and your vision was becoming blurry from tears. He had denied you one too many times, and you didn’t know if you could hang on any longer. You were pleading with him at this point. 

“Cum” was all he said, as you coated his dick in your juices. Tony followed you not a second after, shooting his load up, feeling it come oozing down his member. He bit into your shoulder-blade to suppress his moans. You however lets yours come out in an almost embarrassing shriek. You had no shame though, Tony had brung you out of your shell many, many orgasms ago. 

Now a sweaty mess, he unsheathed himself, and leaned down to place a kiss on your back before readjusting your sweater and skirt. He then turned to readjust himself. 

“I know you’re gonna hate what I am about to say,” he warned, buckling his belt and bracing himself for your reaction, “but you should go on the date.”

“What, why?” You questioned, turning to face him, confused by his suggestion. Was he tired of this? Was he tired of you?

“I just don’t want this to end. So…to not raise any suspicion, you should go out, and have fun.” He stated before averting his gaze. He clearly didn’t want you to, but he knew you needed to. 

“Tony I’m not going.” You stated, fixing your hair and walking away to collect your items for school. “He didn’t even ask me, he told me. So I don’t want to do this.” You pout. 

Trailing behind you slowly, he asked this question “So if he had asked you, would you have been more willing to go.” You were kneeling down to adjust the straps on your school bag at the moment, but you stopped to survey him. His hands were buried in his pockets, and his shoulders were squared. He wasn’t the usual sure of himself cocky man you’d come to know, for a minute he seemed insecure. 

“Tony, I wouldn’t want to go period.” You confirmed, raising up to stand at his level. You unplanted his hands from his pockets, and clasped them to your own, stroking his knuckles. 

“Sweetheart,” he started. He let go of your hands to so that he could cup your cheeks. “I think you have to baby.”

“Ugh.” You loudly scoffed, letting his hands go to walk back into the kitchen and grab your breakfast. Your eggs were cold now, so you searched for an apple and a granola bar instead,  as Tony continued his case. 

“Listen, Edward knows about us. Well, not us specifically, but he knows you’re with someone. Without him, there is relatively no reason for us to continue…us. It would look bad if we still remained close with each other if your relationship with him ended.”

“Tony I’ve been living here for over a year now. I think it would be even weirder if I just cut off ties with you completely” you sneered, violently flinging the refrigerator door open in search for the string cheese. Tony mirrored your movements, and slammed the door back. 

“Sweetpea, could you just think about it.” He pleaded, while talking with his hands and peering down at you with his chocolate orbs. Butterflies started to flutter in your stomach, at the new pet name he assigned you. He always tried out different ones for different situations, and this one just happened to fit this one. “We always knew this was a difficult relationship. Even if you guys ended on good terms, dating me right after would not be the greatest idea. At least if you’re with Eddy, we have more time to figure things out. Please.” 

Contemplating his words, you knew he was right. But that didn’t change the fact that you hated it.  “Fine. I’ll go on this stupid ass date.” As you said it, the word date was laced in venom, venom that you wished to reserve for Edward’s veins. “How are you okay with all of this though? Whats your secret?”

He thought about it for a moment, and then replied, “I’m not” before pursing his lips and looking down at his feet.  Weirdly enough, you needed to hear that. Knowing that you both were going through this dread together oddly made you feel better. You grabbed his chin to lean in for a passionate kiss. Your taste from earlier still lingered on his tongue. 

“Everything is going to be fine.”  You assured, gazing up at him. 

“Ya, I know.” He smiled, before looking down at his watch. “Well not everything, because you’re late for class again.”

“Shit!” You screeched. He watched as you sprinted through the door after scrambling to grab your stuff, all before he could even blink. 

“I love you, Y/N.” He said to himself, as he waved at your fleeting car. 

——————————————————

“How does this one look?”

“No. No. No. That slit is entirely too high!”

“Tony, it’s literally below the knee. And you’re the one that chose it!”

“Too much skin. Next.”

“Yea well he has seen me naked before so.” You mumbled. 

“What was that? Yea maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. You were  right kid, take it off and we’ll come up with an excuse as to why you couldn’t go.” He was worried. He became worried after the first dress. Though he would never admit it, you knew when he was upset. He would place his glasses on his face and get to talking faster than normal. 

“Baby, like I said earlier, everything is going to be fine. Trust me.” You assured, as you went to get changed into the 7th dress of the night. 7:00 o’clock was approaching faster than normal. You had been home for a few hours now, so you and Tony mentally prepared yourself. He drew you both a hot bubble bath to calm your nerves, but it didn’t do much for them.  As the time got closer, it got harder to convince each other, that this was fine. At the moment, it was your turn to persuade Tony.

You came back into the room, in a flirty fit and flare dress. Though the dress was less than a foot away from your ankles, it hugged your curves perfectly. “Hell no. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” He shouted. He had crossed and uncrossed his legs so many times at this point, you thought he’d pull a muscle. He got up to pace the room. You had never seen him worry this much. 

You met him from across the room, skipping to stand behind him. As you hugged his back, you stood on your tippy toes to press your chin on his shoulder. “Honey,” you cooed, “it might help if you told me exactly what you were afraid of.”

“I’m a grown ass man Y/N, there isn’t much that I’m afraid of.” He retorted. 

Aware of the sudden attitude, you reply “Fine, maybe afraid is the wrong word. Let’s say nervous. What’s got you so anxious?”

He placed his hands on top of yours  before sighing, “I don’t want him to steal your heart. But I also don’t want my son to be hurt. I really don’t want to lose you, but I also feel like I am being selfish towards you both.” He turned around after making his last point, entangling your fingers together. “Most of all, I don’t wanna lose you.” 

You placed your head on his chest and chuckled, the gesture sending small vibrations through him.“You said ‘I don’t wanna lose you’ like three times already.”

“Well I don’t. And you know what, who gives a fuck about me being selfish. I am that way when it comes to you. And don’t I get to be?” He asked the question more to himself than to you. 

“Yes pumpkin.”

“I know. I mean, I’ve failed him as a parent you know? If he doesn’t have the decency to appreciate someone as wonderful as you, then I have failed him. I don’t know what to do. I usually do, but I just don’t this time.” You had never seen Tony be so vulnerable before. Over the past year, he had seen you in so many compromising situations that would have made any other man run straight for the heels. But you seldom saw him in those same compromising situations. This was new, and while you always liked new, this was scary. You feared, that he saw an end to this before you could. 

“It is going to be okay.” That was all you could say. He sighed, and placed a kiss against your forehead before speaking. 

“Y/N,  I’ve been wanting to tell you,—”

“Dad! Y/N!” You heard Edward yell. You two quickly removed yourself from each other, just before he could make the room. You ran back into your bathroom to slip into another gown. When Edward came in, he was surprised to find his father in his room. “I was looking for you, but I didn’t expect to find you in here.” He began changing out of his work clothes, to freshen up. 

“Well yea, she asked me to help her pick a dress.”

“I hope you helped me out here. I am trying to get laid tonight.” He admitted, winking at his dad. Tony just stared at him blankly. Taking his expression as disapproval for his choice of word, he awkwardly laughed, “Oh come on dad, don’t get stiff on me now, you know you taught me everything I know.” He began changing into his date attire, before realizing something was missing. He went to look in your shared bathroom. 

Attempting to walk in, the door was immediately slammed back into his face. He was embarrassed that it happened in front of Tony, who was currently chuckling on your bedroom couch. Regaining his cool, he knocked on the door. “Babe, I need to get in for a sec.”

“I’m in here.” You replied, with short words and short tones. 

“Yea babe, I know you’re in there, the thing is I need to be in there too.” He was annoyed, but you were already pissed about going out with him. Especially since he interrupted his dad from earlier. What was he gonna say? You thought. 

“Well you’re gonna have to fucking wait Edward.”

“Listen, if this is about your dress, I’m gonna be happy with whatever you put on for me okay?” He assured. 

“No, Edward. This is about me not wanting you to see me naked.” You corrected. “Now you could either wait, or forget about the entire date.”

“Well, I guess that means you’re not getting laid tonight.” Tony teased, fighting the shit-eating grin, that threatened to plaster his face. It got harder when Edward looked at him with the biggest death-glare .

Why does the bastard seem happy about that? he thought to himself. “Whatever. There’s always next time.” He stated matter-of-factly, not noticing the joy that left his father’s eyes. “Do you have any cologne that I can borrow?” He was still annoyed but it was fleeting. You two were not going to ruin his night. He would have you by the end of it. 

“Uh, yea I left it in the downstairs bathroom, follow me.” Edward found it hard to read Tony at the moment. As mentioned before, the older man rarely lost his composure. Those closest to him, knew his ticks, but by no means were Tony and Edward close. Father and son, maybe, but they would never be friends. Edward always took to his mother, listening to the poison she spewed in his ears from the time he was old enough to understand. To him, Tony was a terrifying, self-entitled, know-it-all, who never granted mercy tho anyone, even those he loved.  

Up until recently, he saw that that wasn’t true, or if it had been it was in the past now. As he followed him down the staircase, they reached the bathroom where the cologne resided. Tony, trying to play nice, handed Edward a tiny glass bottle. The bottle itself probably cost over a thousand dollars, what did that say about the tawny brown liquid inside. “Thanks man.” Was all he said, as he carelessly took it. 

“Hey, you be careful with that! It cost more than your entire outfit.” 

He spritzed the liquid onto his collar and wrists before speaking “This smells really good. What is this again? I feel like I’ve smelled this before.”

“Forget about the damn cologne Edward. We need to talk about Y/N.” His demeanor turned serious, as he addressed you. 

“What is there to talk about?” He questioned, tousling with his hair in the mirror.

“She’s fragile right now, and I just don’t think you should force yourself onto her.”

“Woah, woah, woah. I’m not a rapist.”

“That’t not what I’m saying at all. The very fact that that’s the first thing your mind jumped to is alarming to say the least. Whatever, anyway, I’m saying that you can be a little aggressive with your approach. She doesn’t appreciate your selfish nature.”

“Selfish? Did she tell you that?” He stopped with his hair and eyed him through the mirror. 

“All that I am saying is that you may win more points with her, if you ask her about what she wants.” Tony didn't even know why he bothered trying to help him. In all honesty, he was just trying to to help you.

“Dad, you just let her call me selfish? I am your son, shouldn’t you care more about what I think?”

“You literally just proved her point. And shouldn’t you want to be more attentive to your girlfriend’s needs?”

“Why are you two so close? Don’t you think that’s a little weird?” He inspected his father skeptically. He turned around to slowly look him up and down before continuing “Whose side are you on?”

Tony stood firm. He made sure to show no sign of weakness. “I’m on her’s.” His eyes burned a hole through Edward, and the younger boy bit back his anger to cower his head away from his father’s menacing look.

“Let’s go, before I change my mind.” They both perked their heads up to look at you standing through the bathroom’s doorway. 

You were wearing a silk mauve spaghetti-string top, paired with pearl colored high-waisted wide-leg dress pants; those were held together by a simple Gucci belt. A chic baggy blazer that matched the pants graced your arms, and three-tier pearl earrings dangled from your lobes. Your perfectly manicured cream colored nails clutched a large white wristlet against your person. You sported a curly shoulder-length bob, and your makeup was done to look natural. On your feet were a pair of costly looking suede heels whose color resembled your top; their points were so sharp they could puncture skin. You looked more ready for a business meeting, than a date. 

“Wow babe” Edward started, eyeing you in detail. “You look great, but I thought you were gonna wear something a bit more comfortable.”

“Well Edward, you said you would be happy with whatever I chose.”

“I mean I am but—”

“You look amazing.” Tony interjected, eyeing you a little too long for Edward’s liking. 

“I mean don’t act so surprised, I am a boss ass bitch” You respond feeling shy all of a sudden. You broke eye contact to bite your bottom lip and examine your feet. How could your stomach still swarm and your face still heat up after all this time. 

He cleared his throat before saying, “Right well, you guys have a date to attend. I hope you have fun” He turned to Edward to adjust his collar, “But not too much fun.” He left it at that for a moment before adding, “Because ya know, I’m too pretty to be a granddad right now.” He patted his chest and turned him so that he could push him out of the door.

He stopped you before you could follow, to say in a hushed tone,  “You look beautiful. Hurry back please.”

“I’ll try. Don’t worry.” You gave him a small smile, before turning to leave. 

He grabbed your hand to whip you around and slam the door. He pressed you against it, hands on either side of your head. 

“Tony what the fuc—”

“Say the word and we can call it off.”

“Honey, at this point it’s too late. He’d know something is up if we did that.”

“Do you think I give a flying fuck what he thinks. Come on just say the word.”

“Tony, I am going. We won’t be long. So don’t worry.” You grabbed his cheeks to peck his lips. 

He released his hands from their spot on the door and reopened it to a confused Edward. “Sorry.” He directed towards him. “It looked like she had a gaping hole in her pant leg. Couldn’t let it ruin your date.” He was always a terrible liar, and as he said it, he watched your retreating movements to the vehicle. 

“Thanks for looking out,” Edward said sarcastically before following your steps. He tried to open it for you, but you ensured that you could open the door yourself in a cold manner.

When you got into the car, you prepped yourself for the long night before you. If you had looked back at Tony’s expression, you may have never left with Eddy. 

———————————————————————

Shit. You thought, as you pulled up to the restaurant. Of course it had to be one that you and Tony frequented a lot. Every time they saw him, they called you both by name. You should have known something was up when the drive took an hour outside the city. 

“Eddy, why don’t we go somewhere else.” You say as you slide down in your seat. “This place looks expensive.”

“I want to try this. I’ll take care of the bill.” He was being short with you now. It was due to the lack of communication during the entire drive. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t get more than two words out of you. You almost felt bad, but that diminished when you saw him shamelessly checking out a girl who was passing by your car. You didn’t even care about it, you were just annoyed that he did it in your presence even though it was his idea to take you out. 

“Fine.” You retort, unbuckling your seatbelt to beat him inside. You felt that if you got in before him, you could warn the staff not to mention Tony, or your being there before. Too bad Edward’s legs were way longer than yours. 

“Slow down, I’m the one who made the reservations.” He ran up to walk beside you. He sensed you sense him checking the other woman out, and took your sudden mood shift as jealousy. “Don’t worry baby, she wasn’t even that pretty.” He snaked an arm around your waist, which made you recoil away. He opened the glass doors for you, and you were immediately embraced with the familiar smell of French cuisine. The ambiance was soft and warm, and the lights were dim as golds and yellows lay in the scenery. Being here without Tony wasn’t the best, but at least you felt somewhat at home.  

As the two of you approached the maître d’s desk, the jolly man lit up at the sight of you. Samuel was the sweetest, and sassiest person you had ever come to know. The fact that he could be both was why you loved him.

“Aww ma cherré! C'est si gentil à vous de nous rejoindre ce soir!” Samuel exclaimed. He was elated to see you since it had been a while. 

“Tu m'as manqué Samuel!” You were happy to see him as well and expressed how much you missed him. 

“You two know each other?” Edward inserted, causing Samuel to focus his attention on him. 

“Well no. I just read his name tag.” You said nervously.

“Qui est-ce?” Samuel asked, trying to figure out who Edward was. He was currently sizing him up. This wasn’t his precious Tony.

“What did he say? I knew I should have gone somewhere, where they speak English” Edward complained. 

Samuel mumbled something about Edward being an entitled prick, which made it hard for you to suppress a smile. “He asked what was the reservation name under.”

“Ahh, it’s under Stark! I am the one who called ahead 3 hours ago!” Edward shouted, like the asshat he was.

“Monsieur, I understand English. I’m from New York.” Samuel stated with an attitude. “However speaking French helps set the tone for this environment. Also, if you yell at a person who you presume to speak a different language, it makes you look like an obnoxious prick.” You couldn’t suppress your smile this time. 

“Is it customary to speak like that to your guests too?” Edward challenged, making both you and Samuel’s smile falter. 

“Non monsieur.” He replied, the confidence from before had left now. 

“Yea I didn’t think so. I would like you and your staff to speak English to me for the rest of the night.” He informed, a menacing smirk playing on his face. “I should see that you take care of those who give you service.” 

“Yes sir. Allow me to lead you to your table.”  You tugged on the cuffs of his jacket to look at him with sorry eyes. “ Ahh Mrs. Y/L/N, will you be taking your usual spot on the roof—”

You looked at him with wide eyes before you said “Monsieur!” You shouted. You guys had stopped, “Could you show me to the restroom! I am sorry I cannot hold my bladder any longer.”

“But you already know—” Samuel you idiot! You thought to yourself. 

“Restroom please!”

“Okay okay, just a minute!” Your outbursts were out of character, so he was just now realizing something was wrong. “You can sit here sir. Right this way ma’am.”

When you two got  out of earshot, that’s when you tackled him with a hug. “I am so sorry he treated you like that.”

“It’s not your fault, my dear. But who is that son-of-a-bitch.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed before saying, “That’s Tony’s son. We are dating.”

“Wait! No what happened with you and Tony!”

“Nothing, we are fine…we just met at the wrong time.” 

“Ahh, does he know that you are dating his son?” You basically just told Samuel that you were dating two people who were blood-related, and he didn’t bat an eye-lash. 

“Of course he knows! Edward doesn’t though, so if it isn’t too much to ask, please tell everyone to act as if they never met me. I would really appreciate it.”

“Anything for my favorite girl! You stupid bitch, I can't believe you didn't tell me all this juicy gossip.” He winked at you before leading you back to your table. 

You sat down in the booth and let your blazer fall from your arms. All of a sudden you felt nervous, but determined to play nice. Edward’s irritation took on a new level, and you forgot that you were supposed to be “rekindling” your relationship. All you had done this entire evening was make it worse. You almost forgot how to talk to him, being alone only made things worse. He was sitting opposite to you, examining his menu. And when he spoke it was cold. 

“I took the liberty to order us some drinks while you were off talking with that server.” So he knew you had lied about the bathroom, yet his eyes hadn’t left his menu. Maybe he was trying to decipher the French, and wasn't really worried about you.

“I don’t drink anymore.” You declared.

“So much has changed about you. Like you speak French now, when did that happen.” His voice was like liquid turned into stone. Hard but smooth at the same time. 

“I took an online class.” You lied. Tony was the one to teach you. “I have an internship in Paris that requires me to learn it.” That part was true though

“Does that internship pay you ahead of time?” He glanced up from his menu to meet your gaze.

“It doesn’t pay me at all.” Your brows furrowed. Where was he going with this? 

“Oh. You know I just thought it did, since you can afford Gucci, and what is that?” He asked referring to your wristlet “That’s a Valentino right? Oh and let’s not forget the Louboutin’s on your feet!” He was losing his cool now. 

“Eddy you’re gonna cause a scene. Lower your voice.” You hiss. 

Fortunately your waitress came over to distract him for a second. “Bonjour, je m'appelle Elise. Je serais heureux de te servir ce soir.” You knew Elise, but you had to act as if you didn’t. You hoped that when she looked away from her notepad, she wouldn’t recognize you.

“English please. I already told your host this.” He was already an ass, but now he was being plain rude. 

The peppy red-head looked up from her notes to examine him. Her doe-like eyes wide in terror that quickly turned into joy upon noticing you. 

“Y/N! It’s so nice to see you!” She looked around for a second before looking back to you, “Where is Mr Stark?” You held your breath at the mention of Tony. I guess Samual hadn’t warned Elise yet. 

“I am Mr. Stark.” Edward rudely inserted. You were relieved he didn’t realize the error, until he spoke again “Look. We’re not ready to order yet. So why don’t you come back later. Fuck off” He waved his hand in a dismissive behavior, before turning back to you.

You watched the girl bow her head before quickly retreating.“Why do you have to be such a fucking dick?” 

“What? Do you think I hurt your little friend’s feelings? Why did you act like you’ve never been here before.” His nostrils began to flare, as he sat up from his seat.

“I haven’t—.”

“Don’t fucking bullshit me Y/N. I heard him ask you about your usual spot on the roof. You must think I am an idiot.” He snarled. “I asked about it before reserving the restaurant. My point is that I know it costs more than your tiny bank account could hold. So what, did you plan on freeloading off of me and my dad, while your sugar daddy takes care of you too?”  

“Don’t speak to me like this.” You state through gritted teeth. Your eyes were starting to water from his interrogation, but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. 

“Who pays for it? Hmm? Is it the same person who put those hickeys on your chest? Or is it the person who bought you that cheap ass bracelet.” Before you knew it, he grabbed your wrist to snatch off the Cartier bracelet Tony got you for valentine’s day. It meant the world to you, since he had the words ‘My heart belongs to you, T.S.’ engraved inside it.  You watched the jewels bounce and clatter on to the hard-wood floor. Rolling under feet and nearby tables. People were starting to look over, but you didn’t care. You also didn’t care about the tears that spilled from your eyes. 

Edward sat back in his chair, and rubbed a hand through his hair while acknowledging your tears. He coldly mocked these next words “What’s wrong. Can’t he afford to buy you a new one?” 

“Yea.” You said, voice shaking, while your eyes remained on the floor. You turned back to him to say, “Maybe if I fuck him good enough, he’ll get me an even prettier one.” His hands began to shake as you watched him go red in the face. He balled his palms into fists, knuckles turning white; a sharp contrast to his crimson fingers. He unexpectedly slammed them on the table, causing you to jump, and the conversations around you to cease. 

“Well maybe he should give you a ride back home while he’s at it, you fucking bitch!” He shouted, spit flying from his mouth. He got up to storm out of the door, pushing passed Elise who was coming back with your drinks. He left you embarrassed, without a way home, and alone. Oddly enough, you weren’t crying because of Edward. You were crying because you felt like you failed Tony.

————————————————————

You arrived home over four hours later, after hailing a taxi. You would have been home sooner, if you didn’t spend the night with Elise, Samuel, and the rest of the staff, insisting on helping them close. You partly helped to make up for the scene you and Edward had caused, and you also wanted to give Edward enough time to get home and go to bed. From the looks of it, he had made it there in just a little under an hour, because that’s when Tony started lighting your phone up. That’s why you stayed longer to wait for him to fall asleep as well. You were an even bigger idiot than Edward if you thought he would be asleep before you made it home. 

He was sitting on the staircase when you unlocked the door to come in. “Are you okay?” He asked, leaping up to stand before you. 

“Yea I’m good.” You respond, tiredly. 

“Good. Because I am fucking livid.” He said in a frantic tone. “What’s wrong with your phone?”

“Nothing. Where’s Edward?”

“He’s asleep. So why didn’t you answer you phone?”

“It died.” 

“Was that before, or after you turned it off? Because I know for a fact that’s what you did. That’s always your excuse when you don’t want to talk to someone.”

“Can we not do this tonight.” He grabbed your shoulders and bent down so that he could look you in your eyes. 

“I would prefer it if we did this now.”

“Well it’s not about what you fucking want all the time,” You snapped.

“Hey. That’s not fair.” Hurt was plastered on every inch of his face. You saw it, so you began to apologize. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice cracked, and you were about to cry again. “Tony I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live in this house with him anymore. I can’t live this lie any. more.” The tears spilled, and you couldn’t tell who was more hurt at this point, you or Tony. 

He pulled you into his chest, which muffled your sobs. “What am I supposed to say, when you get like this? I can’t bear seeing you cry, princess. What do I do?”

“Please just hold me. Don’t let me go.” You mewled. 

He pulled back to wipe away your tears with the backs of his thumb. “Now when have you ever known me to do something stupid.”

“Everyday.” You laugh. He tapped your nose and gave it a quick kiss, while still cupping your cheeks.

“Yeah, well besides then.” 

“Never.” You whispered. He stared into your eyes lovingly. You two stayed mesmerized in each other for longer than usual. 

“I love you, Y/N. I guess that goes without saying, but I thought you should know.” He confessed. Believe it or not, it was the first time. The two of you never had to say it, because you just felt it. Just knowing it, still wouldn’t beat hearing the actual words though. He had just made it fact in your heart. 

Speaking of your heart, it was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings, threatening to leap from your chest at any second. The butterflies he gifted you quickly turned into elephants, that threatened to trample your insides, and replace the remains with Peruvian lilies.  Your cheeks were now hot to the touch, and your mouth searched for words that came out in random incoherent spouts.

Tony, suddenly overcome with unsureness started with, “Maybe this wasn’t the right time to—”

“No!” You shouted, “I love you too.” You cried, smiling before you stood on your toes to wrap your arms around him. His arms dropped to your sides, and he pulled you in by your shirt, latching his mouth on yours. This kiss was different from the rest. They all felt good, but this one felt better than them all combined. Taking in all of you, your scent, your taste, your feel, he felt spoiled. He grabbed at the sides of your face to deepen it, while you grabbed at the back of his neck. You both tried your hardest to get closer, but it may have not even been possible, since there was no space left between you. 

You were the first to pull back for air, while Tony still pecked at your lips, stealing wet kisses, that trailed from your mouth to your forehead. He peppered them over your eyelids, nose, and cheeks, desperate to cover every perimeter of the skin. 

You fluttered your eyes open when he was done, smiling up at him though your lashes. His chocolate brown orbs danced with more joy, than you had ever seen, and his pearly whites peered through his goofy grin. He eskimo kissed you, and rest his forehead against yours. You were happier than you had ever been. 

You both snapped your necks towards the sound behind you before you heard Edward say “I should have known it was you.” He, like his dad before, sat at the bottom of the staircase watching the both of you. You two were so wrapped up in each other, you didn’t even hear him walk down.

And just like that, your happiness left the chat. 

  A/N: Sooo... tell me what you think? Also, I proofread, but please let me know if you see any errors. Please like comment and share. To  @swaggysposts​ @scarletsoldierrr​ I am so sorry for posting so late, but I really hope you are still interested. Please tell me what you think!  PART 3 here 

[imaginesfora3]

It’s About the DRAMA [Sumeragi Tenma]

(Another commission by an awesome person who is endlessly patient with me! There’s a second part that has smut in it that I’ll be posting at a later date. Please enjoy! And if anyone would like to commission me, please message me over tumblr so I can give you my details~)

After the spring plays production, you thought it would be smooth sailing when it came time for the summer troupes.

You had managed to gather enough people, all of who had interesting characters, but you’d dealt with that before, right? Part of being a director was overcoming the challenges and obstacles that were presented even if you never knew exactly what would be thrown your way. You were eager to help these young actors learn how to grow, to see them on stage with your own eyes after you watched them put their blood, sweat, and tears into practice. At least, you felt that way about every single one of them aside from their leader, the one who had the most acting experience and who you thought would have an easier time.

You and Tenma hadn’t exactly started off on the wrong foot but it was made apparent to him from the beginning that you weren’t one to be trifled with, quickly shutting down anything rude or demeaning he had to say to his fellow troupe members. Tenma had never worked alongside someone like you as most others were just used to putting up with his attitude and accepting him for who he was but you had no intentions of doing so. You called him out, you criticized when necessary, you proved every day that you were seeing him as he wanted to be seen, not movie star Sumeragi Tenma but newbie to the stage Sumeragi Tenma. As much as he felt like you put your foot down on his actions more so than any of the others in the troupe it made him crave your praise knowing it would be genuine and not just because of his reputation.

Tenma wanted to do good.

He wanted to impress you.

But why did it seem so damn hard to do?

“We need to talk.” Tenma cringed at your tone of voice, immediately feeling like a child who was about to be scolded by their mother. His own mother had hardly taken that tone with him as she wasn’t in his daily life often enough to do so but he’d heard it from the TV moms who he acted alongside. He bit his lip to keep himself from showing his discontent verbally, simply nodding his head and following you out of the room where the rest of the summer troupe were practicing.

“Tenma…” He already knew what you were about to say from the mildly annoyed look on your face and the way your arms were crossed, but that’s not all that was there. There was concern, too, some worry that perhaps maybe Tenma wasn’t suited for the stage life after all and that set him off.

“If they don’t listen to the advice I give then what’s the point!” He threw his hands up, trying to keep his voice even but knowing the two of you were likely being eavesdropped on anyway. “I don’t think they’re completely unredeemable but…!”

“Have you considered changing the tone of your voice when you’re delivering your advice? Or even thinking about the way they perceive it when you’re barking orders at them? Tenma, you’ve got talent and you’ve got plenty of potential, no one is doubting that. But you have to realize you’re part of a team now. Why do you always think you have to do everything on your own?”

Because he’d always done things alone. He’d been independent since he was young, he had to be as he was left to his own devices and then when his own acting career began, he was thrown into a world of adults that forced him to grow up quicker than he’d like. He mimicked the way the others around him talked, the way they treated each other, and he’d never been reprimanded by anyone the same way that you were. He can tell that it’s not out of anger, that it’s not that you have something against him personally, but that he’s holding himself back by not allowing himself to make connections with everyone he’s acting alongside including you.

“Sometimes they might not understand how important your words are or they think you’re just looking down on them when you’re not, and when that happens, I’ll be there to support you Tenma.” He’s all too aware of the hand you’re putting on his shoulder now but he makes the extra effort to keep looking into your eyes, though he can’t say that calms him down. All he can think about is how he’d never had someone clash with him like this before, how he’d never had someone willing to tell him what he needed to hear rather than what he wanted to. To have you not only want to do that for him but also acknowledging his talent, saying that you wanted him to stay as summer troupes leader, it spoke volumes. “Now stop acting like a spoiled brat and go be a leader!”

Tenma scoffed at your clear teasing, thinking about how cute the mischievous smile on your face looked right now, “Yeah, yeah. Takes one to know one.”

Tenma returned to practice that night a new man, willing to listen to the other troupe members and learn how to help them on an individual level. He found that they were people with passions much like him, people who loved acting and wanted to throw themselves in, and he found himself a little proud that, when he actually opened his eyes and stopped being so angry for no reason, he found they appreciated his acting skills more than he’d first realized. He knows he never would’ve changed if he hadn’t met you, if you hadn’t been the person who was willing to stand up to him, and for that he’s forever grateful. The words you said to him that day, that you’ll be standing behind him when he needed you, meant more than anything.

Tenma just didn’t realize how far down the rabbit hole he’d gone.

The summer troupe didn’t find many moments to rest as they were on an advanced schedule as it was, trying to pack practice into just about every spare moment they had. But you’d scolded them more than once on pushing pi too far, Tenma included, which is why this little movie night had been thrown together. Tenma figured it could be a teaching moment even if it was technically downtime, knowing a few tips and tricks that could be translated over into stage acting when they popped up; he’s actually happy that even Yuki agreed to sit down with the rest of them, perhaps he’d even be able to teach him a thing or two and get some praise from you for a job well done.

The movie was your standard romantic comedy but the dynamics of the characters had always been interesting, and he found the others were picking out bits and pieces that they identified with. The movie and acting talk had Tenma opening his mouth more than usual, explaining how certain scenes were acted out and what might’ve been going through the actors head while said scene was going on; it was a lot different than acting on stage but the groundwork is what helped Tenma flourish, so hopefully he could translate the same thing to his team. Things got quieter when the more romantic bits popped up with everyone watching quietly, waiting for the scene’s end to chatter about the chemistry between the two characters on screen.

“…Doesn’t that remind you a bit of something?” Yuki piped up, glancing at Tenma from the corner of his eye but looking away when Tenma turned to him with an annoyed expression. Was he trying to call him out on something?

“You’re totally right!” Kazunari laughed, turning back to grin up at Tenma. “Man, it’s just like you and…!”

“Don’t say it!” Tenma growled out, already knowing where this was heading and wanting to cut it off before it went too far. He’d already been teased relentlessly and called a whipped dog by Yuki for how often he tried to avoid arguments with you now, he didn’t need to add more fuel to the fire by having to defend himself from these accusations. Plus, why was it any of their business if he felt some type of way about you? Clearly things wouldn’t work out considering you were older than him and probably not interested in some kid but… He was getting too far into his head now, a blush rising to his cheeks as the possibility of getting to be your boyfriend flashed before his eyes. This was not going to go the way he wanted it to.

“Sorry Tenten! You’re very obvi about it, you know? I can’t blame you~”

“I’m getting a drink,” Yuki suddenly announced as he stood up from the couch, “I’ll be back.”

Without the main instigator there to start another fight about Tenma’s unspoken feelings he finds himself relaxing as Kazunari’s attention is turned to Misumi, who was changing positions rapidly to find the most comfortable way to lay on the ground. He watched with minor amusement even if he pretended to be annoyed with their antics, knowing he cared about them all far more than he wanted to let on. Perhaps Kazunari did have a point, maybe his feelings for you were really obvious, but again he wonders if that even matters. If he confessed to you right now what would you say? Would you be shocked to hear it or would you nod as though you’d known all along? He disliked getting caught in fantasy situations but this is one that had plagued his thoughts while he was curled up in bed at night, and with no one to shake him from them, it invaded his mind now, too.

A few minutes pass before Yuki returns with his juice in hand.

“You took a while,” Tenma grumbled, “We want to finish this movie tonight.”

“Sorry, I was busy talking with the director. She was getting herself something to eat.”

Tenma doesn’t recognize he’s being baited at all because his thoughts are still almost solely on you, about you, and he realized that he missed you. It had been a few hours since he’d last seen you at dinner but he could spend all day by your side without getting tired of you, in fact, he’d prefer to do that. He gets antsy in his seat as he doesn’t want to pause the movie yet again but what if you were in there still? He could casually chat with you, see how you feel about how everyone’s coming along, ask if you’re starting to appreciate what a great leader he is for his troupe…

“I-I’m kinda thirsty. Just keep watching without me, I’ll be back.”

“…Why didn’t you just ask me when I went in there a second ago?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t get me anything, brat.”

A fair point but a smirk found its way to Yuki’s face and he kept his mouth shut for the time being despite the variety of snarky comments that wanted to spill out. This fight was better saved for later tonight when the two were alone in their room as Kazunari and Misumi continued to be distracting. Tenma returned from the kitchen a few moments later without a drink and looking rather sullen, refusing to meet Yuki’s eye even as the boy verbally snickered at his downtrodden expression.

“Where’s your drink?” Kazunari asked innocently, head tilted so he could look back at Tenma.

“Nothing I wanted to drink in there. Shut up and pay attention to the movie.”

Tenma was in a sour mood the rest of the night and felt incredibly grateful when it was time for bed, ready to be done with reality and get lost in the dram world where things were exactly as they should be. It was unfortunate for him that Yuki was his roommate as there was no such thing as peace for him. No safe retreat for him to curl up in and think about all the things that he wished could come true, to think about your happy face after he performed perfectly in this play, maybe you’d even give him a kiss on the cheek as congratulations for being so successful-

“I finally figured out why a hack like you chose to stay with a group like Mankai.” Tenma knew it was going to be the start of another fight but his emotions got the better of him as they always did and he whipped his head over to glare at his younger roommate who was still casually getting ready for bed. “I didn’t know cougars were your type.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

“This is exactly why you’re a hack, hack! You can’t even hide your feelings for her. Going into the kitchen right after I said she was in there… You really thought that was true?” Yuki scoffed as he made his way into his own bed. “Whatever… There’s no point in arguing with someone as deep in denial as you. Not like you have a chance anyway. Goodnight.”

Tenma wanted to argue but his heart ached at the truth in Yuki’s words, his mouth hanging open even as the lights in the room were turned off and Yuki’s breathing evened out. He wanted to argue until he was blue in the face that he didn’t have romantic feelings for you, that being around you definitely wasn’t the highlight of his day, and that having you as his director was certainly not one of the best things that had ever happened to him. But how could he fight against the truth? The worst part was he was painfully aware of how he felt, of how much his daydreams helped him get through each new day where you weren’t his,  of how fruitless this situation felt due to all the differences that divided you. The heart wants what the heart wants is a saying that now plagued him daily.

The next day only proved to be worse.

Hearing that his father had found out all about his joining the Mankai Company left him in a worse mood than usual, and he had no intentions of backing down. He’d worked so hard, he’d started to bond with you and the members, and despite the short amount of time he’d spent around all of you he didn’t want to imagine a life without Mankai in it. His words were confident as he told everyone in the troupe that he’d convince his father one way or the other but in reality, he knew his father was as stubborn as he was when it came down to it. There might be some drastic measures Tenma had to make to get his point across but he couldn’t leave you like this. He couldn’t make you scramble to find someone without even half the talent he had.

It went better than expected.

When he’d stormed back to the house later that night he hadn’t expected to see you waiting up for him and he internally panicked, not wanting you to see the new black eye he was sporting. He and his father had gotten into it, the fighting becoming so passionate even his mother couldn’t separate them. The punch had shocked him to his very core but he didn’t let it deter him, still determined to not let his hard work all be for nothing. Tenma had walked out of that house with his father cursing at him, perhaps even hoping Tenma would fail just to prove a point, but he tried not to let that get to him. He got to go home back to you and that was enough to keep his body moving despite how exhausted he was.

“Tenma!” Your eyes widened as they immediately found the wound on his face, “What happened with your dad?!”

“He punched me. Hard.”

��I can tell, thanks!” You grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him into the kitchen, settling him down into a seat as you listened to the rest of his story while looking for the first aid kit. He didn’t think it was a big deal at all but you seemed incredibly worried about him, fretting over his well-being while cursing his dad under your breath. Tenma had nearly laughed when he heard you mention something along the lines of ‘I’ll punch him in the face and see how he likes it’ but he worked hard to keep a straight face, finding that extra hard to do once you were seated in front of him and scanning his face again.

Tenma felt like his heart might beat right out of his chest with how closely you’re scrutinizing him, an odd weight settling itself on his chest after all that had just happened. His father’s physical punch hadn’t hurt nearly as much as the emotional impact it had on him, the only thing able to distract him from that pain right now being you. You were doting over every little bruise and cut on his face, fingers brushing against his skin. His heart fluttered hard in his chest and he tried not to show his discomfort on his face as the feelings you were bubbling closer to the surface. Every touch sent electricity through his veins and finally, finally, it became far too much for him to handle.

“I’m not a kid, I can take care of myself!” He insisted, pushing your hands away and refusing to look at your face; he knew you’d be giving him a disapproving glare for his outburst when he’d let you dote over him for this long.

“If you’re not a kid why are you acting so damn childish, Tenma? What are you trying to prove here?”

He wanted to prove that he was a man, that he was strong and that he could take care of himself. Who would want a boyfriend who couldn’t say those things? Who would want a boyfriend with so many familial issues he was actually so touch-starved that even the simplest of your touches nearly brought him to tears? He bit down on his lip hard and you could see all that he was going through, the pain on his face translating over quite well. You wanted to continue what you were doing but there was no point in pushing Tenma’s boundaries more, not when you’d already made so much progress with him. You sighed in defeat but reached over to grab the ice pack from the fridge, brushing his hair out of the way and placing it on his cheek where the punch had landed.

“Just put the ice on your face and be quiet,” Your tone is one that tells Tenma you have no intention of backing down no matter how much he rejects your care and he can’t tell if you’re doing this out of obligation or genuine worry for him. He knows which option he wants more than anything but denied that you’d ever feel such a way about him, also denying his own disappointment that he already saw you as being unreachable. He’d never felt so close yet so far from a person before in his life but everything about you seemed to keep him drawn in, refusing to let his heart move on.

Time healed all wounds, didn’t it?

In the end, Tenma hoped that these unwelcome feelings would make themselves scarce, that perhaps it was just a puppy love that would fade away with time.

He didn’t realize how wrong he was.

[metalandmagi]

Hogwarts House Anime Recommendations pt 2!  Ravenclaw!

I’m just going to use the same intro every time. A couple years ago, I made some posts with anime recommendations based on Hogwarts houses. And in case you haven’t noticed, there’s been a lot of new anime that’s come out in that time, and I’ve thought of some other things that I think people may have missed. And I was bored...So if you have ever wanted some anime recommendations with the same general themes and tones, maybe you’ll find something here.

Other house recommendations:

Hufflepuff pt 1

Hufflepuff pt 2

Ravenclaw pt 1

Gryffindor pt 1

Gryffindor pt 2

Slytherin pt 1

Slytherin pt 2

This time I’m focusing on RAVENCLAW, the house that values wisdom, creativity, learning, wit, and cleverness.

Princess Principal: A steampunk mystery/thriller that takes place in an alternate 20th century about a group of girls who masquerade as normal students during the day and kick ass as secret agents/spies for the Commonwealth at night. It’s a super fun spy show with cool female characters and a plot that will leave you constantly guessing how things will play out until the last possible second.

This show was so cool and everyone slept on it when it came out, but what could be more Ravenclaw than a bunch of spies using espionage to overthrow the government and solving mysteries? The main character Ange kind of toes the line between a Slytherin and a Ravenclaw, but I think she’s a Ravenclaw at heart. All the girls are clever and creative in their own ways, and it had one of the best OPs of 2017!

Kino’s Journey- the Beautiful World (Kino no Tabi): This is another anime that was rebooted in the last couple years, but everything I say applies to both the original 2003 anime and the more recent 2017 anime...except the 2017 one has much better animation, and the English dub won’t make your ears bleed. 

Kino’s Journey is about a girl who travels to different fictional countries on her sentient motorbike named Hermes. She only has one rule for each country she visits: she can’t stay longer than 3 days in each country before moving on. It’s a raw, character driven episodic story with one of the most surprisingly funny and interesting protagonists I’ve encountered. Each episode will leave you thinking about life and humanity in a different way, and it will definitely make you want to see the world.

This is a show that is hard to get people psyched up for because it can be so quiet and thought provoking, kind of like Natsume Yuujinchou. But I think it’s a great Ravenclaw show because Kino’s main drive in every town she visits is to learn. She may seem like a Slytherin at times, because she can be quite...callous and devious without seeming to care about what happens to people (like in the coliseum episode), but overall I think she just wants to take in information. Nothing Kino does is to get ahead of people or is done purely out of malice. She wants to learn about the world and what makes people different. She is calm, indifferent, and cool headed in every situation, not to mention she always has a clever plan and keeps her wits about her. As a side note, I should mention that the 2017 anime only remakes a few of the more notable episodes from the original show, and the rest of the episodes are new content; it’s not like the 2017 anime is a complete remake of the original, so keep that in mind. I recommend both. This is the kind of show that can keep going forever and still find new, interesting stories to tell. 

Death Parade: Okay, this one’s hard to summarize without spoiling the first episode, but it’s literally in the title. After death, a pair of humans will materialize in the mysterious purgatory of Quindecim (which basically looks like a fancy bar), and the two are forced to play a game to determine which person will be reincarnated and which will be pushed into oblivion. Each episode focuses on a new pair and a new game while delving deeper into the mysteries of Quindecim and how people are judged.  Fun fact: this is actually based on an OVA called Death Billiards, which not a lot of people have seen, but it’s the same judge character dealing with a pair of humans. 

This anime was so mysterious and interesting right from the get go. It’s first episode is so hookable it should stand alongside Dr. Stone, Gravity Falls, and Yuuri on Ice for shows you know will suck you in immediately. This is a hard core Ravenclaw anime, because much like Kino’s Journey, we deal with an indifferent main character whose only purpose is to judge others and who is constantly learning about humans. Every episode will make you strategize to try and stay ahead of the game, as if you were the one being judged. Not to mention the mystery of how the hell this Quindecim place actually works and what mysteries are really behind the arbiters of purgatory will keep you intrigued all the way through.

The Promised Neverland: I know I’ve talked about this one a lot, but this is one of the most Ravenclaw animes to ever Ravenclaw so I have to mention it again.This is a thriller anime that follows the children of the Grace Field House orphanage, where everyone is a happy family and there are definitely no terrible secrets about what happens to the children who leave the house...right? Really it’s about a trio of children named Emma, Norman, and Ray who are forced to break out of the orphanage and outsmart one of the most interesting anime villains of the last 3 years.

Like I said, this is one of the most Ravenclaw animes to ever Ravenclaw, and by that I mean all of these children are geniuses. The main character Emma might be the definition of a Gryffindor, but this show is the epitome of all things Ravenclaw at heart. The tactical brilliance and creative solutions to the adults’ mind games in these first 12 episodes are enough to get anyone interested, but this is only the beginning. Going by the manga, this dystopian future is mysterious enough to rival the early episodes of Attack on Titan, and the subtle clues about the outside world will have you making a conspiracy theory chart in no time (or just rushing off to read the manga like I did). Personally, The Promised Neverland is my pick for anime of the year- as of right now anyway- because I just love the execution of this brilliant battle of wits! 

Dr. Stone: When all of humanity is mysteriously turned to stone, a genius high school boy named Senku and his…less genius friend Taiju awaken 3,700 years in the future and are tasked with rebuilding civilization and unpetrifying humanity with the power of science! There’s also the underlying mystery of why humanity was turned to stone in the first place. It has great character dynamics, and it’s so educational that there’s literally a warning in every episode that tells you not to do the science experiments because some of this stuff is illegal. 

This show hasn’t even finished airing yet, and I can still say it’s a perfect Ravenclaw anime because the whole freaking thing is about learning and science! Despite Taiju not being a scientific mastermind, he’s still clever in his own way...sometimes...and Senku is the epitome of a smartass who was definitely too school for cool. And remember how I said this has one of the most perfect first episodes in history? Yeah, it really does because I was kind of down on this show before I even started watching it, and after the first episode it skyrocketed to being the best new anime of the summer. And I’m sure it will be a lot of people’s anime of the year.

I also want to include a bonus anime: Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu 

This is a historical drama anime about the Japanese theater art of Rakugo, where a person literally sits on a cushion and tells a comedic or dramatic story to an audience...there’s a lot more to the plot, and it’s cooler than it sounds I promise. The first season takes place during World War II and the second season is set in modern day Japan with the main character as an old man. I put this as a bonus anime because I can’t quite put my finger on what makes it a Ravenclaw anime, I just know that it is one. It’s in the atmosphere! It just has a general vibe of intellect and creativity that’s impossible to miss. If you like historical dramas with really interesting characters that focus on art forms you’ve never heard of, this is the show for you.

[immortalbutonlybyname]

Reviewing Drama’s I Have Watched Pt 2

My rating system goes like this: 1- Did not like, 2- Enjoyed but probably wouldn’t watch again, 3- Enjoyed and would watch some episodes again (or for movies may watch again), 4- Enjoyed and would watch again, 5- Loved

Korean Drama 

Strong Girl Do Bong-Soon: 4/5

             Strong Girl Do Bong-Soon is about a girl with super strength that is passed down through her family to all the females. She begins working as a bodyguard for the CEO of a gaming company, An Min-Hyuk, who is being targeted for inheriting his father’s company. This is another one that had a love triangle but was well handled so I actually enjoyed it. I love the character dynamics, Do Bong-Soon was strong but still very kind and humble which I think is hard to find anymore. Min-Hyun is arrogant, hilariously dorky, and rather naïve. I started it thinking that it would be funny and cute, and while it definitely was, I was not expecting the darker tones that quickly took over the show.

The Liar and His Lover: 4/5

             The Liar and His Lover follow a genius music producer, Han-Kyeol or K, of the band CrudePlay who keeps his identity a secret, and a high school student who dreams of becoming a singer and is a huge fan of CrudePlay and its mysterious producer. It deals with the difficulty of achieving your dream, sticking to your morals, and opening up to love. This was really great, some of the later episodes got a little boring or annoying but overall it was really good. It took me forever to finish though as the episodes were hard to find when I tried to watch them, might be easier to find now though (update: It is now Netflix for some countries). This was the first show I had seen with Red Velvet’s Joy and I must say her acting was really great, she was super cute and really convincing. The song I’m Okay is one of my favorite songs ever, it is so soft and cute. I highly recommend this show.

 High School 2013/ School 2013: 4/5

High School 2013 is about the struggles of being both the student and the teacher in a high school. It follows Namsun as he struggles with his past and the guilt from it, while learning to move on.  While the main character seems to be Namsun, this show actually follows a lot of other characters stories Mrs. Jeong is an idealist teacher who was assigned to class 2-2 also known as the difficult class as it has many underachieving students. While Jeong believes that all students need is love and support, the new teacher Mr. Kang believes in a more strict, academic side of teaching. The two must learn to get along to help the students cope with both school and life. Meanwhile, many of the students are dealing with problems of their own like bullying, prepping for college, and the traumas of their pasts.  Warning: This show does contain triggers such as suicide, abuse, and bullying. I really enjoyed this show, I finished it in exactly a week around school, work, and just general life. To be honest, while I love Namsun and he is my favorite main character, I do have a soft spot for Kim Min-gi, his storyline made me feel all the emotions and he had such amazing character development. I personally think he had one of the best, if not the best story line and character development in the show. Namsun and Heung-Soo was such an amazing storyline and friendship too. I especially love how they didn’t focus on romance at all really and mostly conveyed friendship and it’s own set of struggles which was really refreshing. The ending was a little more bittersweet but I guess that life, you can’t win every time.

Korean Web Drama/ Mini-series 

Another Parting: 4/5

             Another parting is about an alien who comes to earth for 24 hours to find the reason humans cry and a woman who just lost everything. It is a rather strange mini-drama but still so good and it keeps your attention throughout the whole series. I was confused by the ending, but I would definitely watch it again.

Love for a Thousand More: 2/5

             Love for a Thousand More follows an immortal woman who hates men and love but works as a love counselor. When one day, a noisy neighbor moves into the apartment above her, she begins to question her stance on love and men. This show was pretty good but a bit on the boring side for me personally. It had its funny moments and a few plot twists but overall was a little lackluster. It was good during study breaks, but I probably won’t watch it again.

Ma Boy: 5/5

Ma Boy follows Geu-Rim as she enters an arts high school for the elite. She soon finds life at this new school won’t be exactly as she was hoping, especially when her roommate and the schools #1 female CF star, Irene, has a huge secret that Geu-Rim must keep. Absolutely love this one, definitely my favorite mini-drama. I watched this one in between study sessions and it is perfect to relax to and just enjoy for an episode before getting back to studying or just when you want to watch a cute show really quick to cheer yourself up. I will definitely be watching this again when school starts again. It is a bit goofy and cheesy at times but super cute and the parts that are awkward are great for a laugh.

Magic Cell Phone: 4/5

             Magic Cell Phone is about a young man whose childhood friend and crush has become a popular idol. When he discovers that she is in a dangerous situation he is determined to protect her. During a walk at night, he comes across a lady who gives him a magic cell phone that allows him to protect his crush only three times, with some very dangerous consequences. I loved this mini-series; it was super cute with a darker twist. The storyline was adorable, and the actor and actress were super cute. I would watch this again when I’m back in school as each episode is the perfect length for a study break.

Unexpected Heroes: 5/5

             Unexpected Heroes is about three teenagers who gain superpowers after their respective transplant surgeries. They begin to have dreams about the man who they received the organs from and use their superpowers to find out what really happened and if their donor’s death was really an accident. I love this Web drama so much; I have watched it a few times already and will watch again. It appears to have been set up for a second season however I don’t think there will ever be one which is so unfortunate as I have so many questions.

Chinese Dramas

Meteor Garden: 4.5/5

Meteor Garden is loosely based off the manga Hana Yori Dango, or Boys Over Flowers. When Shancai is accepted into the most prestigious college in China, she thinks school life will be a breeze. Unfortunately, that is not the case once she encounters the F4, a group of rich and handsome seniors who are the most popular, top students in the school. Si, the leader of the F4 who starts out as Shancai’s enemy, begins to fall in love with her, but Shancai has a crush on Lei, Si’s friend and the quiet musician of the F4. I love the dynamics between the F4, you can definitely tell they are childhood friends, and each has a very distinct personality. Some of the characters can get pretty annoying but they are still likable most of the time. At first, I was completely against the main couple and hated them so much. Especially after a certain scene, which I will not spoil but those who have watched it probably know what I’m talking about, but as the show continued, I started liking them more and more. The reason this show has a 4.5 is because I loved it so much and still do love it. However, towards the end it became very repetitive and kind of annoying to watch, almost like they ran out of ideas. I swear I watched the same story arc two to three times just in different cities. Despite the repetitiveness at the end I still love this show so much and would definitely watch again. My friend and I actually binge-watched a solid half of the series in two days during a sleepover, then took about five more days to finish the rest because life happened. It has some awkward parts with both the writing and the visuals but overall really great.

Chinese Web Drama/ Mini-Series 

Intouchable: 3/5

Intouchable is about a high school girl whose boyfriend has disappeared after a date. She receives a card and meets a butler who tells her that she has to travel to multiple worlds and eras in order to find all 10 butlers and complete a contract with them in order to get her boyfriend back. This show was pretty enjoyable but rather cringy and confusing at times. They took inspiration from Twilight, Hunger Games, Game of Thrones and I'm sure many other popular books. This was actually one of the first dramas I watched, and I still do enjoy some of the episodes but I'm not too big of a fan. The actors were pretty good, but the storyline and writing could have used some work.

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

[emilococo]

What is the Real Deal with Mr Parsons?

[TOP SECRET]

THIS INFORMATION IS STRICTLY CLASSIFIED, IT MUST BE KEPT UNDER LOCK AND KEY AND NEVER REMOVED FROM OFFICE. THIS MUST BE FOR INTELLIGENCE MESSAGES ONLY.

You know that I talked about the underrated cartoon The Cramp Twins before, quite frequently in fact. It seems like it's my duty to go into detail with this show if no one else will. But even then; they're still some aspects I've yet to touch upon; whether it be the characters, the setting or the production history. One of those things I'll be discussing relates to one of its supporting characters, Seth Parsons.

For those unfamiliar, Mr Seth Parsons is one of the remaining swamp folk of the fictional town of Soap City. He lives on the only patch of swampland in the city, with his wife Lilly and family of six kids. He works by farming the land but he's also skilled at wood carving, handling creatures, magic tricks, acrobatics, comedy, he even has his own plumbing business to support such a big family. But what he's best known for is sharing his infinite wisdom of the swamp with his son Tony and Lucien Cramp. He's an overall handyman who cares about the swamp and his family, and the best father anyone could ask for. But what if there is more to this man than he lets on? What is he's hiding from Soap Folks? Could someone who's a great family man be so suspicious? Join in as we unravel the clues to what is the real deal with Mr Parsons?

The swamp people have this saying; which translates to 'the deeper you go, the more you know'. To better understand the deal with Mr Parsons, we're going to have to look at the episode 'The Bad Seed'. For those who aren't familiar, this episode talks about a masked outlaw who once terrorised Soap City. I've discussed this episode before in my list of the best Cramp Twins episodes, but I didn't go into detail about it so not to spoil the crucial plot points. But now I want to use this chance to put those plot points into perspective. Though I do encourage you to watch the episode before you could read this article. Anyway, the Bad Seed was a juvenile delinquent who wore a mask to hide his identity along with his accomplice Little Hat. They were a dynamic duo who caused trouble by disturbing the peace, that is until they were caught and unmasked. 

By the end of the episode, it was revealed that the bad seed turned out to be non-other than Lucien's ancestor who looked exactly like him. And Little Hat was Seth when he was young. 

First of all, we see that Mr Parsons had a checkered past as one of Soap City's former criminals. It shows that even back then he had a connection with the Cramp family. We learn that Seth once had a rebellious side to his personality, back when he was young and did not know any better. Though if Seth and the Bad Seed were anything like Tony and Lucien, could it be possible Seth committed these felonies to stand up for the rights of the swamp people and revolt against the totalitarianism of the Soap people? Even though some of the crimes he committed have become tamed, could it be that the bad seed was a misunderstood anti-hero? Like a western version of Robin Hood, who knows? Seth even stole a page from the City's records which shows him being unmasked. Though he admits he took it because he likes how he looked in the picture, rather than keeping people from knowing about his past. 

Which begs the question, how has Mr Parsons been alive for so long? You cannot say that it wasn't that long ago, because there's evidence that proves otherwise. As its shown, the Bad Seed was alive sometime during the old west. It's also indicated that he did this when Soap City outlawed wearing odd socks under penalty of hanging. So how could he have possibly survived all these years and not look so incredibly old? We have ourselves a conspiracy theory here people.

The swamp has had a fascinating echo-system, but who would guess that one of its inhabitants would be the most intriguing? I'm willing to believe that Seth's vast knowledge and wisdom comes from living for hundreds of years. Despite this, he appears to still be agile and was able to have children. Now The Cramp Twins was always grounded in reality, and yet Seth was one abnormality to be walking among the neighbourhood. Could it be possible that Mr Parsons was cryogenically frozen for many years, or maybe he has a special swamp herb that keeps him alive, or here's a crazy thought he might have used supernatural forces to gain immortality? Alas, we never got an answer, and fans of the show are still wondering to this day. I can't say for certain that my speculations are true, as I've yet to contact any of the crew members regarding this. But surely the people behind this show could have given us revelations for Pete sake. [UNSOLVED]

One thing is for sure, that Seth Parsons is the character who drew us into the history behind Soap City, the swamp and the people who inhabit it. The fact that he has a dark past and the mystery around him make him a complex character. If only we had clarification on these backstories, as well as Seth's. Leave me a comment on what you think is the reason Seth has been able to live for so long. With these entertainment companies exploiting people's nostalgia, I think The Cramp Twins needs to have a proper conclusion. If you're a fan of the show or you just want it to tie up the loose ends, please contact Cartoon Network Europe or m4e in demand for it to be revived. Go to social media sites and type the hashtag #bringbackthecramptwins. Or you could sign this petition here:

https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/bring-back-the-cramp-twins

With your help and support, then this speculation will be put to rest.

"And we can have forever" "And we can love forever,""Forever is our today".

"Who waits forever anyway?"

[frozenmikan]

My Girl “VOICE ACTRESS EDITION” vol.23 - Interview with Suwa Nanaka

“Everyone in Aqours is my rival.”

Suwa-san, are you the type to care a lot about winning or losing?

Hmm... I hate losing, but I don't really think about that on a daily basis.

Then, are there any memorable events that happened because of your desire not to lose?

That'd be my club activities in high school, I guess? We were putting on an English play, and we wanted to win so badly that we practiced almost every day. Like, six or seven times per week.

In particular, what was the most challenging part of that?

Being together with the same people every day would inevitably lead to conflicts, and it was difficult keeping my focus throughout the entire period. Also, in our club, we didn't just put on the play, we also made the props by ourselves. During summer vacations and the like, I literally left the house before sunrise and only got home after the sunset.

What about your work? For example, does your desire not to lose show itself during auditions and the like?

I think it does. I view each audition as a competition, and I frequently pick out clothes that fit the character's feel for them. I even go so far as to buy new clothes when I don't have any suitable ones.

I see. Do you think it's because your emotions change with the way you dress?

I'm already usually the type to wear all kinds of clothes, so I guess... I wouldn't say that it's a huge change from who I usually am (laughs). It does make me slightly more motivated, though.

Doing that might appeal to the people conducting the audition as well.

Yup, you're right.

Tell us a little about wins and losses in your private life recently. Were there any moments where you thought "I beat this!" or "I lost to this"?

Oh, the one thing that comes to mind is gluttony, I guess. I always end up snacking late at night, so you could say that I'm fighting a losing battle against it (laughs).

What kinds of snacks do you like?

Potato chips, ice cream... Watching a movie or anime while munching on an entire packet of chips is just so blissful.

I can relate to that. What about sloth or greed?

I guess I do have a strong desire to sleep; I constantly hope for a full eight hours of rest. That's why on days where I don't get enough sleep, I can't wake up without Red Bull (laughs). I just really like sleeping. I even slept for sixteen hours straight once.

You're really faithful to that desire, huh.

Yup. If I have no plans on an off day, I can continue sleeping forever. Also, about the greed that you mentioned earlier, I do end up buying a lot of new clothes every month. I would even say that clothes make up the largest part of my monthly expenditure. Being in this industry often requires you to supply your own clothes, right? Since that's the case, I think to myself "It's fine, since it's for work" when I overspend; that's how I justify it to myself (laughs).

I see (laughs). Do you ever reflect on your actions, though?

I'm the type to spoil myself, but I do think I watch too much TV. On an off day, I'm the type to keep the TV on from when I wake up to when I go to bed. Though I only actually pay attention to what's on when it's a show I really like (laughs). I end up watching it while gaming quite often.

From the theme of "competition", let's move on to something related, "rivals". Who do you regard as your rivals?

Everyone in Aqours.

Oh, is that so. When do you feel the desire to not lose to them?

I always think that they're really amazing during rehearsals and such. I try to emulate them when those thoughts cross my mind.

If you were to talk about anyone in particular?

Kobayashi Aika-san is really good at both singing and dancing. I'm pretty sure everyone else in Aqours thinks the same way too. That's why I sneak glances at her during rehearsals and try to copy the parts I found good.

Being in the same group as someone like that must be something to be proud of. Though it does motivate you to not lose to them, right?

Yup, it makes me work even harder.

Are there any things that you pay particular attention to during rehearsals?

I... I manage to remember the steps during the rehearsal itself, but I forget them almost instantly (laughs). That's why I'm now working on trying to keep those steps in my mind so that I can recall it at any time.

What do you do in particular to achieve that?

I rewatch the dance step footage at home. I'll totally forget if I don't do that (laughs). It was fine in the beginning since we didn't have that many songs, but my brain is definitely over capacity now. So I'm trying my best (laughs).

Having so many songs is tough, huh. Going back to an earlier topic, you mentioned that you think of everyone in Aqours as your rival?

Yup, that's right.

If you had to draw a pie chart of what you felt towards them, would it be 100% rivalry?

Hmm... I guess it'd be 50% rivalry and 50% friendship. Of course they're my previous friends, and I frequently get motivated by seeing the others succeed. I get stimulated by their activities outside Aqours; I'm actually the type to get easily affected by things like that.

I see. Are you the type to reveal these feelings? Like "I should have done better!"

Nah, I don't show it. I'm the type to pout about it at home (laughs). Maybe I just find it a little embarrassing to be doing that in front of others.

“One thing I'll definitely bring overseas is a bottle of green tea.”

When was the first time you traveled overseas?

During the later years of elementary school, I went to Hawaii with my family.

Oh, that's nice! Was the trip fun?

Actually, at that time, I wasn't really into it (laughs). I went along with my parents because they wanted to go, but I was so overwhelmed by being in a foreign country that I stayed in the hotel most of the time (laughs).

Was that your rebellious phase?

Something like that. I'll go if I'm forced to go, something like that (laughs).

What overwhelmed you?

I didn't do too well with the ocean at that time. So I wasn't particularly excited about it.

Going to Hawaii or someplace warm as someone who doesn't do well with the ocean is a little... huh (laughs). Then, is there anything that you remember about Hawaii?

There were so many Haagen Dazs stores. That really left a strong impression on me. I don't think you can see that here in Japan now. Apparently you could some time ago though.

Ice cream shops would pique the attention of any young child, huh. Are there any instances where you were affected or stimulated by being in a foreign country?

I studied foreign languages in high school, so I was constantly around exchange students. Also, my family hosted a student for a homestay once, and that was really fun. We would go to school together in the morning and spend time together after coming back home... Things like that. She's from the United States and is the same age as me, and apparently, there aren't things like karaoke over there. So I brought her to karaoke, and we also went to eat sushi together.

That sounds really fun! Is there anything you learned from her?

I guess it'd be vocabulary. She studied Japanese as well, so we spoke to each other both in English and in Japanese. Being able to communicate using a common language really makes things more enjoyable.

Were you lonely when the homestay ended?

It was only for a short period of time, but I was really lonely since we were always together. We gave each other presents from our respective countries.

What kinds of presents?

She gave me some snacks and cosmetic products you could only find in the United States. Their cosmetic products are so much shinier than the ones you can find here (laughs). As for me... I'm pretty sure I gave her something Japan-like, but I can't really remember.

So you don't remember (laughs).

But I'm pretty sure she enjoyed them!

You had a really valuable experience with international friendships in high school, huh. Let's move on to your work life. Were there any memorable instances?

That'd be when we visited Los Angeles last year for a live, I guess. The audience was super into it. It was about as hyped up as it could get. I felt like that was something you could only see with overseas fans (laughs).

They really have a dynamic range of expressions, huh.

Yup, they cheered so loudly when we just appeared on stage. Of course, they could remember the Japanese call and responses, which made us, the performers, hyped up as well.

When you're overseas for work, I guess you'd speak English most of the time, since you're good at English. right?

Yup, I speak English a lot. Being able to get my point through is really fun.

Are you still studying English now?

I took the Grade Pre-1 Eiken test (TL Note: Second-most advanced level of a ubiquitous English certification exam in Japan) when I was in high school, but I didn't pass since I didn't really study for it (laughs). If possible I'd like to go all the way to Grade 1 (TL Note: Most advanced level of abovementioned exam) someday...

But you don't really have the time to do that.

It's really difficult. You degrade really quickly if you don't keep up with studying too.

Forgetting a language just because you stopped using it is really a waste, huh. But, when going to English-speaking countries, wouldn't you say that it motivates you to do more about your English?

I guess it does. I went to Guam some time ago with my friends, and we actually visited the more rural areas, where there were barely any Japanese people. In the tourist spots, the shop employees spoke fluent Japanese, but there they really only knew English.

Then what happened?

I realized that it's better when only English works! (laughs) When you're in the city where there are lots of Japanese people, I'd get spoken to in Japanese even though I wanted to speak to them in English. When that happens, I'll go "But I wanted to speak English..."

Although they're just trying to be friendly, it does leave you with this sense of disappointment, huh?

It was one of my few chances to do so too...

But you managed to speak English in the more rural areas of Guam. Were your friends fluent in English too?

Yup, mostly. I helped them a little with the parts they couldn't quite catch. I was glad to be able to help them.

Then, do you have a favorite country? Are there any countries you'd like to migrate to?

I don't think there's any country that I'd actually like to migrate to... The United States is a really nice place, but their toilets don't come with bidets. If that became a thing I'd totally move there (laughs).

Perhaps not going so far as to migrate there, but are there any countries to which you'd like to study abroad in if you had the time?

Oh, I actually wanted to study abroad in an English-speaking country in the past. If I were to go I'd like to go for a year. I have a lot of friends who've studied abroad before, and it seems like they flew from country to country when they were there. Hearing that makes me just a little envious.

I guess everyone has the desire to experience studying abroad for once. Actually, are there any good things about Japan that you only realize after coming back from an overseas trip?

How the people here are really kind! Of course, there are kind people in every country, but aren't there countries where you just feel a little suffocated? Coming back from places like that really calms me down a lot. Also, the words. English is still fine, but I can't read Chinese or Korean at all, so I realize how blessed I am to be able to read Japanese when I come back (laughs).

(Laughs). Just being able to understand the signs at airports or the menus at a restaurant is the best feeling, isn't it?

Yup, that! It just gives you that peace of mind.

What about the food? Is there anything in particular that you need when you travel overseas?

This might just be me, but I feel like South Korea has a lot of sweet drinks. Like their milk tea is so much sweeter than what we have here.

Ah, I guess that's true depending on the store you go to.

That's why I'll definitely bring a bottle of green tea with me when I travel overseas. Oh, instant miso and glass noodles as well. It's really vital for when you just crave it while overseas.

“It feels like I'm one and the same with Kanan.”

Lastly, I'd like to ask about Aqours. As of this interview (late May), what kinds of activities are you engaged in?

We've been doing rehearsals for the upcoming 3rd Live Tour. For our 1st Live, the thought of whether we were actually going to do it occupied most of my thoughts, but that's not the case now. I guess it'd be finding ways to enjoy the live while still being somewhat nervous in my heart.

You've managed to get yourself into that mental state after going through your 1st and 2nd Lives, huh.

Yup. It's just that the preparation time we have decreases with every live (laughs). I sometimes wonder if we're actually going to make it (laughs). My mind is optimistic, but...

It's a worry of whether it's physically possible, huh.

Yup (laughs). But, I'm sure we'll make it somehow.

I suppose you're right. Has the way you regard the other members of Aqours changed after being together for so long?

We were total strangers when we first met, so our interactions were mostly exploratory, but everyone has become like the air around me recently. In a good way, of course. It feels like I can talk to them without thinking about anything now.

You've gotten used to their presence.

Yup. So much so that not meeting them for about a week or so feels like a really long time.

It does remind you of when you were still a kid, huh. Not meeting your classmates for an entire long break feels like forever.

Yup. I didn't expect to have someone like that even after I'd grown up.

This question might be a little specific, but what are your impressions of Saitou-san and Suzuki-san, who's also featured in this issue? Starting with Saitou-san.

We're usually very close so we can talk about anything with each other. This may sound a little weird, but it doesn't feel like she's younger than me... (laughs) While being cute in the way only younger sisters can, she really has it together on the inside. That's why I can talk to her about serious matters as well.

How about Suzuki-san?

I frequently go for meals with Aina after rehearsals. I would say I'm the closest to her among everyone in Aqours. She's also younger than me, but I guess our wavelengths just match. So I feel like we can talk about anything at all, and that's reassuring.

I see. Then, what about the character you voice, Matsuura Kanan?

Oh, it feels like we're one and the same. Kanan is a really sporty person, but I'm not that good at physical activities. I was really conscious of that difference between us at the start, but I guess you could say that we've melded together recently.

Was there anything in particular that led to that change?

Well, I don't think there was anything in particular. I guess it's just that I've spent more time with her...

Have your thoughts regarding the Love Live! Sunshine!! franchise changed over the years?

I started from absolutely nothing, so it really was a lot of "firsts" for me. We've been given the opportunity to do so many things that I can't even imagine being somewhere else that'll allow me to experience the sheer number of "firsts" I have here. So I'd say it has been a very enriching experience.

Do you feel that growth personally?

I don't really think that I've grown all that much, but people have said things like that to me. Like about my singing and such.

Being praised and recognized by the people around you must make you glad, huh.

"Aqours is performing in a never-ending tour"

Let's talk about Aqours' future. The single Thank you, FRIENDS!! is slated for release on August 1, and your 4th Live has been planned for November.

It's right after the end of our 3rd Live Tour in July, so my honest thoughts about it would be "That's way too soon!" (laughs). Aqours really is performing in a never-ending tour.

(Laughs). But you've finally made your way to Tokyo Dome for the first time. It probably isn't the easiest of things to perform there, but do you have a few words for us about that?

It's where we saw μ's Final Live, so I still can't believe that we're going to perform there. I'm really excited at how quick things are developing, but since our 3rd Live hasn't even ended... It's still a mystery (laughs).

Well, I guess that'd be the case (laughs). Actually, what were your impressions of μ's Final Live?

I guess I'd say I really felt the sense of unity. It was a space filled to the brim with everyone's love for μ's.

I'm looking forward to seeing the legend that Aqours will create there. The movie's release date has also been set for January 4 next year, right? There's still more than half a year to go, but do you have a few words for the fans eagerly looking forward to its release?

Many things have happened up till now, and I feel like I've been able to experience many things just like everyone did. That's why I'd be glad if you could continue supporting us in not just the movie, but also in writing more and more stories. Please look forward to it!

“I get stimulated by their activities outside Aqours; I'm actually the type to get easily affected by things like that.“

Aqours’ new single, Thank you, FRIENDS!! releases in August. The Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours Club Activities - LIVE & FAN MEETING 2018 Subunit Battles Countrywide Tour begins in Sapporo on September 9. Their 4th Live will be held in Tokyo Dome on November 17 and 18. Suwa Nanaka appears in the broadcast "Fuwasata" and "Suwa Nanaka's Suwawa World" on Niconico Douga. Please visit her official Twitter for more details.

TL: xIceArcher QC: Cornsplosion Scans: Hellfire

[diarythebookwyrm]

Thoughts on Stranger Things 3

So Stranger Things 3 aired almost two weeks ago. I binge-watched the entire season on that Friday afternoon/evening/night. Naturally, that meant I had to take some time to sort through what I had just watched. I have since sorted through my thoughts and decided to share them.

Below the cut, because this is gonna get long and I don’t wanna spoil anybody who hasn’t caught up yet.

So...first, some character thoughts.

This season absolutely cemented in my mind exactly which characters are my favorites and which I couldn’t care less about. This is particularly true of the two main characters who just rub me the absolute wrong way; Jonathan Byers and Mike Wheeler.

Now, I’ve had issues with Jonathan since season one. Let’s explore why that’s the case, shall we? Within the first half of the season, Jonathan not only stalked Nancy but took pictures of her naked and having sex without her knowledge or consent. That’s already pretty damned creepy, but it gets worse when you remember that Nancy is a minor. Jonathan’s pictures count as child pornography by the modern definition. Yes, this is in the 80s, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy. Yes, he and Nancy have “shared trauma” after being in the Upside Down for a short time, but that...is not enough to build a relationship on??? Then the way he and Nancy do end up together is sketchy at best.

So...yeah. Jonathan is not my favorite character.

As for Mike...

Mike, Mike, Michael, Mikey. He is my absolute least favorite of the original Party. Why? Because he’s a selfish, entitled little asshole. I have two younger brothers; one five years and one ten years younger than me. I’ve lived in a house with a 13-15-year-old boy when I myself was 18-20. It was...a trial, to say the least. But Mike takes the typical early teen boy angst and dials it right up to thirteen. Not eleven; thirteen.

In this season, that was just emphasized even more than the past two seasons for me. His behavior towards Hopper has always been a bit of a pain for me to watch, but this season it just got worse. Just because Mike is El’s first boyfriend, he acts like that means he’s entitled to all her time and attention. Hopper was completely justified in flipping out the way he did.

Which brings me to Hopper’s characterization this season. I thought it was perfectly in line with the man we’ve spent so much time with so far. For one thing, this is the mid-to-late 80s. 

Let me put that in perspective for everyone. My dad was about Steve Harrington’s age in the mid to late 80s (my mom was about Nancy’s age). My dad was a bit of a...snark as a kid. My grandfather was and still is a very down-to-earth and straight-shooting man. He did not put up with my dad’s bullshit. Full stop. End of story. Hopper is similar to my grandfather in that respect. The scene where Hopper gets Mike alone and then lays down the law? My grandfather would have pulled that if he had a daughter with a snarky, disrespectful asshole of a boyfriend.

Hopper is also raising a teenage girl for the first time. His daughter died before she ever reached her teen years, so Hopper is figuring out what is the best method for handling things like a first boyfriend or a girl’s nights at the house. This is a man who spent years after his daughter’s death living as a confirmed bachelor who was a bit of a slob because he was also self-medicating with alcohol. I’m honestly surprised he didn’t actually follow through on the thought to kill Mike.

Joyce was, as always, my favorite of the parents. She’s a wonderful mother who is just trying to keep shit going for her boys’ sakes more than her own. I can’t really blame her for wanting to move out of Hawkins after what happened with Bob. Did that mean I enjoyed that plotline? No, of course I didn’t. But that doesn’t mean it was a bad one.

Murray was...Well, Murray. I did like his interactions with Hopper and how he’s the only person who actually was calling Hopper by his first name.

Nancy’s plotline in this season...it felt a little weak to me, I’ll be honest. Ever since Nancy and Jonathan got together last season (which...again, I think that was poorly handled from the start), Nancy has not been my favorite person. Am I saying she should have stayed with Steve? Absolutely not. It’s very clear that Nancy was not nearly as invested in that relationship as Steve was. I honestly think that if Nancy were not in any relationship, her story might have been a bit better written. As it is, she just feels like she’s filler alongside Jonathan while Steve actually grows as a person.

Steve, as always, is continuing to grow and develop in ways neither Nancy nor Jonathan has in the course of the show. When we first meet Steve, he’s the hot man on campus, the popular jock, etc. etc. etc. Did he do and say some problematic things? Yes. But, I would like to remind everyone of just what kind of dumbasses we all were at seventeen. Do you remember being seventeen? I do. I was a bitch. And it’s very clear in season one that most of Steve’s assholery comes from having shitty friends as much as anything. He had a point about Jonathan being a creep, and while breaking the camera might have been extreme, it was certainly justified. I think the worst thing he did was helping with spray painting Nancy “The Slut” Wheeler on the sign, and that was clearly more something that Tommy H. came up with. He even stayed behind to help clean the graffiti up. Was Steve an idiot in season one? Yes, but I still loved him even then because I saw potential and he has more than lived up to that.

The rest of the Party along with Max and El remained pretty firmly where they had been in my estimation before season three with only Max and Will moving slightly higher up on my list. Lucas has never been my favorite, but neither is he my least favorite. Dustin is my son and I will protect him. Will has grown on me and I just want to bundle him up in a blanket and feed him cookies. El is, as she always has been, a badass. Max wasn’t necessarily my favorite last season, but I didn’t dislike her, and she’s certainly grown on me with this season.

Robin and Alexei are darlings and I love them both dearly. Erica...yeah. Those of us with younger siblings either are like “yeah, been there” or find Erica a bit too close to home to enjoy. I’ll let you judge for yourself where she falls.

Now for the one character I never thought I would ever feel sympathy for: Billy. When Billy entered the show in season two, I hated him. I hated everything about him, and that was kind of the point. We were supposed to hate him. What I think is a great credit to both the writers and Dacre Montgomery’s portrayal of Billy is the fact they did invoke sympathy from me this season. Billy has still done awful things, but as I watched him become the pawn of the Mind Flayer, I actually felt sorry for him. Dacre was amazing in this role, and I’ll never forget the scene where El and he are facing off in the Starcourt Mall. It’s one of the most poignant scenes in the entire series, as far as I’m concerned.

Moving past the single characters and into the relationships:

I...have never shipped Mileven or Max/Lucas. Why? Because they are children. Mike and Eleven are about 12-13 when they meet, so...for me, the idea of shipping children has never sat well with me. It’s part of why I don’t actively ship series-era Kataang in Avatar: The Last Airbender. By season three, Mike, Eleven, Lucas and Max are about 14-15 which...is better, but not by much. I’m twenty-nine, so for me, those are babies. Also, they’ll grow up and probably have other loves in their life. Shipping children that young is problematic because most people don’t stay with their first love forever. It’s considered healthy to have multiple early loves, and I think that’s part of why I was so adamantly against Mileven this season.

I’ve already addressed some of my biggest issues with Jancy from last season, and I mentioned that I just felt like they were filler this season. Also, Nancy talking about “what if I just...don't let you go” made me facepalm so hard. Again, Jonathan is one of Nancy’s first loves. Few people stay with their high school boyfriend for the rest of their lives. True, it was certainly more common in the 50s-80s, but that doesn’t mean it’s something that should inspire great shipping material. Nancy is at least 17 or 18 in season three. She’s still figuring out what she wants out of life, and so is Jonathan. Making them out to be this great romance that will last forever is just...weird?

Jopper...Jopper broke my heart this season. I’d shipped it on the side since season one, but put it on the back burner when I saw how happy Joyce was with Bob. This season, it just reminded me why I love the dynamic between Joyce and Hopper. I’m so sad that they’ll never have that date at Enzo’s, and I wish the writers would stop making Joyce watch the man she thinks she could settle down with die horribly.

The plot:

I knew the Mind Flayer was going to be the Big Bad, so that was no surprise. What was surprising was the army of the Flayed, and I rather enjoyed that. The Russians were a wonderful addition as far as I’m concerned. I loved the way it was handled, both comedically and dramatically. It makes sense to me that if American scientists discovered the Upside Down, the Russians would have too. I mean, this is the end of the Cold War after all. America and Russia were constantly racing against one another to find the next great discovery first.

Overall, I loved this season. It was not a let-down in any way for me, apart from the focus on certain characters that still irk me. Also, I’ll just be in my lovely house on the river Denial quietly shipping Jopper.

[wiseabsol]

WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 1: Hell

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/1/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula's defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister's plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.  

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 28 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 1!

CHAPTER 1: HELL

Hey there, Aurelia!

I’ve finally decided to start my “Dominion” reread and reviewing spree! Or at least what I hope will be a spree; this might take a while, knowing me. I’d meant to give you my comments on chapter one a few days ago, but then I kept reading past it, and by the time I read chapter six, I realized that chapters one through five are really just one chapter split into five parts. Ideally, I would like to cover them all in one to reflect that, but once I started writing the review for the first chapter, it turned out too long for me to do that. So I’ll just do this chapter by chapter, like I’d originally planned!

Let’s start with the first line - “Have you found her yet?” Its repetition was largely the reason why I think chapters one through five were meant to be read in one sitting, despite their length. They flow together well due to it, making for a solid prologue. The action proper doesn’t start until chapter six, which I’m now considering chapter two in my head because of this. What I’m trying to say is, you did a good job on making your introduction so engaging to your audience that they can be 50,000 words into “Dominion” and not realize that the main story hasn’t even started yet. I find that very impressive!

Anyway, in the present day, Zuko is being a lurker at his own party and reminiscing on Azula’s progress (or lack thereof) in the asylum that he tossed her into. Which is a harsh way for me to put it, but here’s the thing. When I originally read this story, I was sympathetic to Zuko, since I was just coming off the show. My impression back then was that Zuko became…less sympathetic…in chapter seven of this story, and his behavior afterwards made getting through his sections feel like scrubbing my face with sandpaper.

Now that I’m a more critical reader, I’ve realized that Zuko was behaving…less than heroicly, shall we say…from the very start. And I don’t quite know if that is your interpretation of the character at work, either, because Zuko never struck me as out of character in this story. None of the characters do. But I would definitely say that the version of him here is more flawed and troubled than the show probably intended. That being said, given that this story is for an older audience and that it’s meant to be a deconstruction of Zuko and Azula fanfic, I also think that is appropriate.

Which is my long way of saying that I’m now going to gleefully call out Zuko’s shenanigans in this, even though I enjoy him as a character, both in the show and in this story. Because if there was ever a character who fit the trope of the Designated Hero, it’s Zuko.

Before I do that, though, I wanted to mention this little thing that I enjoyed: the description of the now teenaged Toph “barking” with laughter at one of Sokka’s jokes. It was one of the first details that gave me a sense of how much time had passed between the show and the start of this story, and it fit those characters well.

Moving back to Zuko. I can’t help but think that he’s a bad brother for visiting his sister only once. I get why it would be hard on him, but he still sucks for that. I do find myself grateful that he decided to not visit in his Fire Lord clothes, though, given what we learn in later chapters. That would have been awkward at the very least. And you know what else is awkward in retrospect? This fun line: “He wished she would curse him, or lie to him, or put him down, or dig her sharp nails into his skin.” Be careful what you wish for, Zuko.

“It seemed she was determined to remain utterly unreasonable when it came to the subject of their mother.” Excuse me? Zuko, you both know that Ursa didn’t love your sister. How can you blame Azula for feeling bitter about that? Though I suppose blaming her is second nature to you….

Ugh, just thinking about how Ozai might have punished Azula for asking after her mother makes my skin crawl. Her brother doesn’t even ask her what that punishment entailed, either. And you know, I’ve just accepted it as my headcanon that Ursa didn’t say goodbye to Azula before she left, which I suspect is due to how well it works in this story. Namely, Azula recalling how her younger self saw Ursa say goodbye to Zuko, and then went to her room and waited for the same thing, is one of the most deeply painful things I’ve ever read. And I’ve read the rest of this story, so I know there is comparable heartbreak later on. It makes me want to hug Azula, even though I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate it.

And then Zuko wants to shake Azula out of her breakdown and I go from wanting to cry to wanting to scold him, because you don’t do that! You don’t shake people! There’s never any reason for it and you could hurt them!

Moving on, the description of Azula’s broken laughter is beautiful. I adore the turns of phrases and comparisons you come up with in your writing, Aurelia. But then, uh…Zuko gets a commanding tone and seizes Azula’s face, and I’m pretty sure she mistakes him for Ozai in that moment, considering that face- and neck-touching seem to evoke that reaction in her later on (especially neck touching).

Also…(sigh)…Zuko, when Azula says things that you don’t like, such as there never being anyone there with her, please don’t make her pain all about /you/. I feel like the normal reaction to that would be to feel bad for your lonely and hallucinating sister, not feel offended on your own behalf. Ugh, he’s just so self-absorbed!

What an awkward scene for the doctor to walk in on. That face-touching is a little too intimate for siblings. Azula’s tart response that yes, she can still breath fire, makes me laugh, by the way. She’s always going to be the best firebender around and I adore her for it (though there are many other things about her to love, such as her sarcastic wit). As such, muzzling her, while it makes sense in this context, makes me seethe. In the words of one of my friends, who I got to binge-read this a few months ago, Azula is a crispy cinnamon roll and deserves to be treated better than this!

Moving on. When Zuko says “I am the Fire Lord,” all I can think of is Tywin Lannister’s disdainful comment that a man who has to say that he is the king is no true king at all. I feel like Azula is thinking something along those lines, too. Also, this whole bit about Azula at least having her father’s love, but Zuko not being sure that that was a good thing – well first, Zuko, I’m not convinced that Ozai is capable of loving someone, and second, no, it was definitely /not a good thing/!

“I never hated you” – I think that might be the greatest instance of self-delusion in this room, Zuko, and I’m saying that while your sister is hallucinating. Azula’s line following that, where she says that they each had what the other wanted most, and that they could have been a whole person together – that’s a haunting one. It also encapsulates the conflict of the story and central character dynamic between these two, so kudos on that!

Ugh, the next few paragraphs are ugly thoughts for Zuko. “He would protect her” – this reads as sweet, until you realize that that’s probably the only way he feels comfortable around her: when she is in a position of dependence upon him and not a potential rival. Then he thinks the “Azula always lies” refrain and a part of me is like, “Really? I’m pretty sure she tells the truth more often than not, but YOU don’t like it, so you try to deny it instead!”

Then he tells her, “I chose right,” which is so condescending that I want to kick him in the face. “Right” is a matter of perspective, and it’s easy to claim that you were right when you were on the winning side. Obviously the war needed to end and Ozai needed to be stopped, but it’s not as if Azula is wrong in her assessment of Zuko’s decisions towards the end of the war. From her perspective, he betrayed their nation and their family and was rewarded for it with a crown. I can’t imagine that that feels “right” to her, considering.

Azula then raises the idea of being lobotomized, which makes everything inside of me shriek with horror. Fortunately, Zuko has the same reaction, because he doesn’t even consider it. We then get Azula’s line of “What I want doesn’t matter, if it ever did,” and I cry forever remembering what we learn in later chapters. Zuko’s response to her makes me scoff, because clearly Azula wouldn’t be in an asylum if he was willing to give her what she wanted. Him claiming that he’ll come back is also painful, since we know he’s only visited her one time as of this chapter, and it’s been years since that visit.

“The man pinning her down was as powerfully built as their father, and seeing Azula at his mercy – It didn’t seem right.” Excuse me while I fight the urge to throw up from the comparison, Zuko. As for his reaction to her screaming that no one would have her – again, he’s making it about himself, thinking that /she/ is rejecting /him/. He’s missing the point entirely.

Just another little note, but I like that one of the guards has dark skin. It’s nice to have some diversity among the unnamed characters.

After that, Zuko concludes that Azula is going to be in the asylum for the rest of her life, because it doesn’t seem like the doctors could be of much help, and she appears to be getting worse. I would call this a hasty conclusion to jump to, since it’s only been a few weeks since her nervous breakdown. However, given the limited understanding of mental illness in this world, I can see why he would make that assumption. We readers, of course, know that that can’t be the case – that there wouldn’t be a story if Azula didn’t recover enough to be functional in society – but seeing how she gets there is part of the journey.

In any case, those are my thoughts on chapter one! I’m looking forward to going over chapter two soon! Best of wishes to you, Aurelia!

Sincerely,

WiseAbsol

[seenashwrite]

The Nail: June 2017

The Nail isn't about perfection. It isn't about award-level contenders. It's about seeing focus and effort and hard work radiate off of the screen. 

The Nail's purpose isn't to highlight genres of fics or specific ships written during a certain time frame - the sole focus is quality.

Character dimension. Writing with clever readers in mind. Solid world-building. Tension through boundaries. Crazy crisp dialogue. Incredibly tight plotting. Big emotion.

And though yours truly - nice to meet you, new folks, I’m Nash! - is editor of the list, the goal is for YOU to curate the content. 

Read more about how all this came to be, find past editions, see what factors are considered when constructing the list, and learn how to get your recommendations in HERE.

Now - on to the stories!

For your reblogging convenience, here’s The Nail Master Post of Editions!

* ~ * ALL FROM THE WORLD OF "SUPERNATURAL" UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED * ~ *

Stand-a-lone stories with moderate-to-heavy sexual content will have 😳 beside them; series with such must have this either clearly noted in the overall info and/or clearly note it in the chapters/parts which contain such, so you'll need to check those on your own.

SPEED READS [from scene do-overs to gif-inspired one-shots to dripping drabbles, all less than 500 words]  

These won't be reviewed separately in Nash's usual three-point manner à la #Nash Gives [Feed]back due to their length, excepting those cases where the author pulled off a fleshed-out plot/character or had a unique take that was well-covered in the short amount of space. If there is no title provided by the author, Nash/the curator will pick one for them.

A HORRIFYING CONCEPT  - @ozonecologne

A visitor to the bunker offers Dean a chance for closure that empty bottles can't provide.

.

MAKING IT WEIRD - @helvonasche

This is the tale of that time Cas discovered porn, and with your help, he’s actually going to get some answers this time around.

.

12x21: A SCENE RE-WRITE - @prettymessedupsituation​

In script format, a better way of handling an incident that hit a sour note in the fandom is proposed that is logical, loving, and legitimately canon-worthy.

.

HOW THAT 'DUE DATE' TALK SHOULD'VE GONE - @tippitv

Dean and Sam discuss what just might be panning out to be more pattern than coincidence... after twelve years.

.

CLEAN-UP CREW - @senselesssamii

We all need help cleaning sometimes, that’s the simple truth. And some of us will need, shall we say, more specialized cleaners than others - get ready to giggle through the gross.

POEMS & POETICAL PROSE [mostly quick reads, these are actual poems of any structure/length, as well as short prose that sings like a songbird]

These also won't be reviewed separately in Nash's usual three-point manner à la #Nash Gives [Feed]back due to the typically short lengths & structure. An excerpted line is used in lieu of summary. If there is no title provided by the author, Nash/the curator will pick one for them.

WHAT IF - @saminzat

"Because once you’ve crossed the event horizon there is no going back."

.

MAMA TRIED -  @ariannnawinchester

“Dean is the boy your Mama warns you about.”

.

AN ANGEL'S PROMISE - @webcricket

"I promised you forever, and forever doesn’t end."

.

THE VALIANT - @littlegreenplasticsoldier 

"A valiant brother took the weight, the fall; The valiant’s brother took a throne, and guilt.”

* Nominated by @butiaintgonnaloveem, who said: “A poem from Dean's point of view that made my heart ache for him, from the way the guilt settles deep within him and how he contemplates his situation."

.

CASTIEL'S FALL - @vintagesam

"I fell at 60 miles per hour, on a back road in the middle of nowhere."

ON THE SHORT SIDE [500-ish to 1.5K]

STRATEGIC MOTHERING - @butiaintgonnaloveem    

A look at how Mary Winchester, in the words of the author, "deal[s] with trying to control her hunter’s instincts while living the civilian life", and the pros-and-cons that come along with them.

.

BREATH(E) - @withthedemonblood    

A well-written, thoughtfully played-out vignette on brotherly bonds that captures both sides of a stressful situation.

.

SO WHAT - YOU LIKE HIM BETTER, OR SOMETHING? - @atwistoffate

It's a simple question, and it should be a simple answer, but when dealing with the Winchesters - can it ever be?

.

FOR CAS - @jhoomwrites / @casbakespie 

A stunning coda to the season twelve finale, looking into a focused, driven, yet serene Dean’s response after he rose from his knees.

.

THE LITTLE THINGS - @melissaj616

A nice little piece showcasing Dean's observations of a hunter colleague who could be more, but there's no rush on either of their parts.

.

GOOD BOYS - @defilerwyrm

A poignant look into an alternative history wherein John Winchester chooses to allow Dean and Sam to be adopted into a nurturing home, far from the supernatural - to say more would spoil, though rest assured: the ending will take your breath away.

MIDDLE-OF-THE-ROAD [around 1.5K - 2K]

SPRING BREAK - @winchester-family-business

Fun, witty, easy read of a story about that time the Winchesters showed up on the author's doorstep... and proceeded to drag her along for a helluva ride.

.

SHOCK HORROR - @lipstickandwhiskey

After Dean is dealt a blow by a witch on a case, his closest friend offers support and stays by his side, carefully navigating over, around, and through the initial stages of shock.

.

HALLOWEEN HIJINKS -  @roxy-davenport

This is a tale of what it's like for Crowley to date a younger [and in a centuries-year-old demon's case - *much* younger] woman, one who still gets excited for the supernatural crowd's least favorite holiday: Halloween.  

LONGER [2K to  3K-ish]

IMPERFECT - @zepppie

Lives weave together, then pull apart, happens every day - this is the story of a hunter looking back on the portion of her life spent with Dean, told with such fluidity your heart will be ached and be soothed, all at the same time.

DEEP DIVES [3K and beyond, including completed multi-parters with lengthy chapters]

😳  NOT EMPTY NOW - @sp-oops 

This is a heart-grabber, one that will make you think and laugh and sigh, the story of the evolving dynamic between a hunter and an archangel, featuring a pristinely characterized Gabriel from beginning to end - and it's a damn fine ending.  

.

😳  5, 6, GRAB YOUR CRUCIFIX - @butiaintgonnaloveem

A story rife with sexual tension built around a bartender's most recent entanglement with Dean - now with his inner demon in full effect -  written with a slow build that doesn’t limit its evocative nature to just the bedroom.

.

A HAUNTED LIFE  -  @idontneedasymbol

Deferring to the author's on-point, pitch-perfect summation: "Some hauntings require salt and fire. Others aren't that easy. Dean runs into someone he knows, and Sam tries to make things right."  What I call in my own works a "Behind-the-scenes canon compliant", this is a piece that fits that bill, as it rings absolutely true/plausible, and all characterizations feel real/accurate. 

.

A LESSON IN INTERNATIONAL ETIQUETTE [Part Two] - @imagines-oneshots-blog

A certain Mr. Ketch may very well have met his match in an experienced, no-nonsense hunter who can go toe-to-toe with him, be it in attitude, in wit - or in killing.

SERIES SPOTLIGHT : SUPERNATURAL & SPN CROSS-OVERS [works that are ongoing series with at least 3 parts already published / completed series]

Due to time constraints, series are not read in full. They are given a cursory once-over for the quality basics, most importantly that the author has put maximum effort into world-building. 

The first chapter / first handful of chapters / first third of the first chapter - depending on length - are read to ensure there are no gross grammar / spelling errors, as well as ensuring the story's premise is made clear.

Thorough summations of the overall series, brief summaries of each individual chapter, and master indexes are highly preferred. Descriptors below are taken directly from the author/the story, edited only for length/clarity if needed. Same applies to series from other fandoms featured on the list.

THE PERFECT CRIME  - @mysaintsasinner

"Another storm is on the horizon, a war unlike any New York has seen before, and [Detective Sam Winchester] is about to find himself smack bang in the middle of it. Secrets will be revealed, bonds will be tested, and the perfect image Sam held of his parents will be distorted forever."

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HUNTERS ON THE HELLMOUTH - @whatdoyouthinkmyjobis

[Supernatural + Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

"After a last-minute rescue from the clutches of Lucifer lands them in Sunnydale, California, the Winchesters run into an unusual hunter."

* Nominated for inclusion by @impandagrl , who said: "This exceptionally-written crossover series manages to believably blend the worlds of two of my favorite series while somehow nailing each of the many characters and treating them with equal care. It always leaves me anxiously awaiting the next chapter and is packed with all the action, humor, snark, drama - and occasional smut - that fans of either series should expect." 

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CELEBRATE ME HOME - @callmesweetheartifyoumeanit       

"If you took a moment to ask her how long she’s been driving, she’d tell you she doesn’t know. Not because she doesn’t remember or because she doesn’t know where she started, but because after a while, all the roads just sort of blend together..."

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SONS OF LAWRENCE  -  @mrs-squirrel-chester

[Supernatural + Sons of Anarchy]

"The Winchesters run the most notorious biker gang in Lawrence. They traffic illegal drugs, weapons, and anything else that makes them money and keeps them on top."

RANDOM FANDOMS  [all types, all lengths, all the things that aren't SPN but are still pretty dang super]

5/4/17, 18:00  -  @buckykingofmemes [Mod: @hellenhighwater ]

[FANDOM: Marvel - Avengers]

In which Friday kindly provides the transcript of a conversation between Bucky and Steve, so that a question may be answered with accuracy.

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WHO'S STEVE? - @bjorkshirepudding

[FANDOM: Marvel - Thor I & II / Avengers + HIMYM]

Have you heard the one about Steve Rogers walking into MacLaren’s Pub and running into Jane Foster’s research assistant Darcy Lewis, who’s sitting in a booth with Barney Stinson and the rest of the “How I Met Your Mother” gang… including that gal who bears a striking resemblance to Maria Hill?

* Unfortunately, this author has left Tumblr as of June 16th & the links have been removed so as not to cause confusion, however you can still find their [extensive!] body of work HERE at AO3, should you desire. - Nash *

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BECAUSE I COULD NOT STOP FOR DEATH - @withstarryeyes

[FANDOM: Marvel - Avengers]

A short vignette taking a look at a moment in Bucky Barnes' life, how it feels for him to just be, to simply stand amongst the living.  

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THE PART THAT COUNTS  (in-progress series, parts 1 -5 reviewed as of this writing) - @youre-on-a-starship

[FANDOM: Star Trek (current cinematic)]

"Two weeks after waking up with no recollection of the people and ship around you, you take your future in your hands and try to piece together your past and the events that lead up to you losing your memory of the last five years."

ORIGINAL WORK [anything from haiku to novella]

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE MONSTERS - @rainygalaxynerd

A short pop of a gut punch to the senses, wherein the author drops you into the middle of a conversation - a situation - with no real bearings of which way is up, no way of knowing whose side we should be on, and then starts dropping revelations as fast as you can pick them up. It is bare, it is dark, it is gritty, it is unapologetic, it is chilling, and it reads like a scene straight out of a Scorsese flick.  

Happy reading & see you in July!

* ~ * Shameless Self-Promotion * ~ * 

[ariannnawinchester]

Better late than Never

Characters: Dean, Reader, Sam, Jess, Meg, Charlie and Amara.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Just swearing. And waaaaay too many eye rolls and sarcastic scowls. FLUFF! (Dean being a sweety)

Summary: College Au. Everyone meets up for drinks as friends usually do and things take a very interesting turn. The reader finally admits how she feels.

A/N: This is for @dancingalone21​‘s AU Funny quote Challenge and I picked, “I have this code. No cash for ass.” I just wanna say congrats on 2K followers, your work is stellar and you deserve everyone of them. I hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing this. Thank you for reading and if you thought it was great, feedback would be appreciated. Lots of love!

You weren’t even supposed to be out tonight, you were supposed to be stuck in your room with your head buried in your biology books and studying for the test on Monday. But, here you were standing at  the counter of a bar Charlie worked at because Meg, was way too persuasive for her own good.

“I don’t want a beer” you whined and pouted like a spoiled child, “I want shots, preferably vodka or whiskey because tonight we get to meet Dean’s lovely new girlfriend.” you rolled your eyes with a sarcastic scowl on your lips

Jess scoffed, some beer flying out of her mouth as she tried to choke down her laughter, “Wait, how many is it now? Like five or six  in one month?”

“Uhh, try eight.” you stated.

Meg looked over her shoulder at Jess and you, “Yeah, the librarian’s assistant and Anna. To be entirely honest, Dean gets more ass than a toilet seat.”

You couldn’t help yourself, laughter bellowed out of your chest as you held onto the counter trying to catch your breath.

“Don’t forget psycho Lydia.” you heard Sam’s voice behind you as he wrapped you into a bear hug and went to give Jess a kiss hello.

“Trust me no one is gonna forget that one.” You stifled a chuckle as Meg began to stick her index finger in her mouth and make gag gestures.

“Oh, she made sure everyone in our building heard her having multiple big O’s. She’s just a drama queen.” Jess stated, disapproval coating her voice, “I can’t believe she leaves her adorable baby girl every night just to hook up.”

“That’s kinda why she got pregnant in the first place.” Charlie added her commentary when she popped up from the other side of the bar counter.

“Damn it!” you grasped at your chest, “You scared me Red.”

She giggled, winking at you then placed the whole bottle of vodka on the counter, “A gift from me to my beautiful friends.” she cocked to her head to the side and grinned, “especially for Y/N because I heard tonight you get to meet the new bird that’s been pecking after Dean.”

You rolled your eyes at Charlie, faking your annoyance, “Less talking Red and more drink pouring. I wanna pass out and get carried to the car like Meg last weekend.”

“Heeeeey!” Meg squealed in offence, but then her lips turned into a sloppy grin, “It was a great night. I finally got a chance to get into Cas’ neatly pressed chino pants.”

“What?!” Jess exclaimed whilst the rest of you stared with wide eyes and mouths agape, “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?!”

“What?” Meg shrugged, a smug smile on her face, “You all were dancing and we were alone. In the laundry room. I gotta say those months I spent pining over his pretty face was so worth it.” then she turned to face you, “Now it’s time for you to make your move. Dean’s blind. You have to spell it out to him. Or you’re gonna be waiting for him for your whole life.”

The atmosphere suddenly changed and you felt all their eyes settle on you. They hated seeing you pine after him for all these years, yet you never had the courage to say anything. You didn’t want to change the dynamic because once you unsettled things, there was absolutely no way to go back. You were afraid. It was weird, guys never ruffled your feathers, you never had a problem with getting them or keeping them but when it came to Dean, all your wits leapt out off the window and all you could do is stare at his pretty face until you snapped out of your daydream, where he was hopelessly in love with you as well.

Trying to ease the tension, “Come on guys, then i’d be having so much sex that we won’t have time to hang out.” you joked, punching Sam playfully in the arm, “Besides I get the feeling all of you will miss my cute little face way too much.”

You let out a deep breath when the chorus of laughter filled your ears, conversation diverted! Mission accomplished! Just as you were about to do another shot, Jess nudged you in the ribs whilst she motioned with her eyes to the direction of the door. You gulped at the sight of Dean and a girl clinging onto him. Unconsciously, your face had twisted into a disgusted scowl which earned you narrowed eyes from Charlie at the end of the bar counter, as if to say play nice.

How could you? This girl was a disaster. Where does he find them? You tried reasoning to yourself that maybe she was a great person but you could feel the jealousy boiling beneath your skin.

“What the fuck?” Meg mouthed at you before turning to face Dean and his date with a megawatt smile.

“Vodka!” she squealed, reaching for the bottle on the counter which caused her already tiny skirt to hike up higher displaying her butt cheek which didn’t concern her at all, “Can I borrow your glass? I’m borrowing your glass.” she said way too excitedly, before prying the shot glass out of your hand.

Everyone watched on with stunned expressions on their faces, just blinking at her. You could see heat rise up to Dean cheeks as he turned to everyone with a sheepish embarrassed smile on his face.

“You’re Amara right?” Sam attempting to make conversation.

“Yip, Amara. That’s me.” her speech on the verge of being slurred, “I was so excited to go out with Dean and to meet you guys. You are all so cool. I was passed out last weekend, you know at the party, and Dean helped me” she downed another shot then smiled goofily

Midst this chaos, Dean’s eyes met yours , sparks flying as usual but this time instead of staring on, you looked away and asked, “So you go here, to Stanford ? I’ve never seen you around.”

She giggled, the sound annoying you even though it really shouldn’t, “I go here.” her fingers gesturing quotation marks, “Just because my parents forced me, ya know? I wanna travel the world and party until I drop. Because what’s life without a little fun.”

“Riiiiiight.” the word dripping with cynicism out of Jess’ nude pink painted lips.

Half a bottle of vodka later, Amara had tugged Meg onto the dancefloor. If looks could kill she would have been dead five minutes ago and brutally by the looks of the murderous rage in poor Meg’s eyes

“Sorry.” you mouthed to her and shrugged with a grin on your face.

“Hey.” Dean’s gravelly voice tickled your ear, suddenly making your body way too aware of his close proximity, “are you still not talking to me?”

You pursed your lips, looking way more irritated than you were and still not turning to face him, “what makes you think that I’m ignoring you?”

“I sent you like a 500 hundred texts and you responded by saying K.” he whispers in your ear furiously.

You turn towards him and shoot him a death glare, his green eyes softening at the anger he could feel radiating off you, “You know I have a life and it doesn’t revolve around you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he narrowed his eyes, his pouty lips curling into an annoyed snarl.

“Nothing.” you plastered a fake smile onto your face, “It means nothing. You sure she’s not a hooker? Trying to swindle you?” you couldn’t help the scoff that bubbled in your throat.

“Me? With a hooker? Never gonna happen.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“See, I have this code. No cash for ass.” he smirked, looking at you with a smoldering gaze as he took a swing of beer.

“Fair enough. Dean “The stud” Winchester.” you said in the tartiest voice you could muster. “I still don’t get it though.” you shook your head at him, “how do you even choose them? Do you not want an actual relationship?”

He only answered after a moment passed, your heart thrumming in your ears because you feared what he might say, “Look at Sammy and Jess.” he pointed to them as they were snuggled together in a corner booth, eyes only on each other, “That’s what I want. No games, no tricks, just the promise of being together no matter what. And right now, chicks just wanna fuck. I’m not complaining but sometime I just wish-”

“For more.” you were hanging onto his every word, you hadn’t even realized your lips were just inches away from his, you could smell his beer/peppermint breath that was fanning across your lips.

“Y/N. You wanna know why I’ve never asked you out?”

“Why?” the word barely came out of your mouth. Your chest was heaving, your breathing unsteady because his gaze made you feel like the only girl in the room.

“Because when I ask you to be my girl, it’s not going to be for a few weeks or months or years. I want it to be forever. I want you to be sure that you want to be with me forever. I don’t want you to break my heart and I don’t want to hurt you because you deserve more than that. You’re the girl that I wanna marry.”

He set your blood on fire and sent it racing through your veins. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes to calm yourself before you cupped his scruffy cheek, “Dean I was sure the moment I saw you, freshmen year.”

“Finally.” he whispers, pressing his lips to yours and taking your breath away, “Finally.” he shouts so the whole bar can hear, “She finally admits it.”

You furrow your brows, confused when everyone drops what they are doing and starts to clap and cheer for you and Dean. You glance at Jess and Sam and they are hooting, then at Charlie who is whistling, at Meg who throws you a naughty wink and then at Amara who’s clapping louder than everyone.

“No way!” the realization dawns on you as Dean wraps his arms around your waist, “You planned this. And to think I was going to punch you for being a man whore.”

A loud rich laugh made his chest rumble just before he took your face in his hands and kissed you so soft and tender, it made your knees go weak. The years pining for him was so worth it, if this is how the rest of your life with him is going to be.

[murasaki-murasame]

The Empty Box and Zeroth Maria Reread: Volume 1

I’ve been waiting so damn long for this to get an official English release and it’s finally here. I’m not entirely sure yet if I’m gonna bother writing about each and every volume as they come out in English, but I figured it’d be interesting to revisit this series, since it’s been like four years since I read it. Hopefully it’s as good as I remember it being.

Technically I never read the final volume, and I honestly don’t remember much from the volumes I DID read, so a lot of this is probably going to feel fresh enough that it might be a bit inaccurate to call it a reread. But I’m just gonna call it a reread so people know that I’m not going into this blind, and that I might end up spoiling stuff from the later volumes.

Anyway, let’s get into this.

This was one of the first light novels I ever read, so I can’t help but feel weirdly nostalgic about this series. It’s going to be really fun to slowly re-experience it as it comes out in English, even if I might not bother writing about each volume. I’m still kinda amazed that this series even got an English release, especially since it’s already been over for several years, and has always been a bit of a cult classic series. But I’m still really happy to finally own an official English release of it.

To start things off, this is a really weird series. It’s kinda hard to even tell if it’s necessarily ‘good’ on an objective level, especially since I have a lot of nostalgia towards it. The actual story is really good, but the writing can be kinda . . . bland and repetitive. I don’t think this is a fault of the translators. In fact, as a translation it seems better than I expected. I think that the writing issues were just there from the start. It’s not terrible, but just kinda boring. It sort of clashes with the intense, psychological story going on. Anyone reading this has already read the book so I’m not gonna writing out a synopsis of it or anything, though.

Separate to all of that, there’s also the topic of the characters. This is where I really wish I had a better memory of the later volumes beyond just the broad strokes of their stories. It’s kinda hard to remember exactly where the character arcs and stuff go, but reading this first volume again made me remember that I’ve always quite liked the characters in this series. It’s kinda hard to explain why, though. The rest of the series delves really deep into at least some of them, but even this early on you can tell that a lot of these characters are kinda abnormal.

Even though Kazuki kinda beats the reader over the head with how normal he is, even this early on the overall story is making it clear that his obsession with normalcy is really abnormal, and that he’s willing to go to great lengths to preserve that normalcy. It starts off fairly benign here, but I remember that it becomes more and more of a big deal as the story goes on. I’m not entirely sure if I’d say that I like him as a character, but I don’t dislike him. At least in this volume he mostly exists just to be the person who the story happens to.

There’s not a whole lot to say about Haruaki, Kirino, and Daiya as characters in this volume, but they still work well as supporting characters. I’ve always had a soft spot for how casually vicious they can be toward each other. It’s a fun dynamic. I don’t remember if much of anything happens with Haruaki and Kirino as the series goes on, but I’m pretty sure that Daiya gets majorly important later on.

Maria as a character is definitely one of the best and most memorable parts of the series. She’s really great. I love how much her role and your perception of her shifts throughout this volume, even though her motives and personality stay largely the same.

The whole premise of this volume, and the main scene that sets it up, has been stuck in my mind ever since I first read it. It’s not super complicated or anything as an idea, but the image of the mysterious transfer student announcing to the protagonist that she plans on breaking him, and the psychological horror time loop that follows, has always been very memorable to me.

I kinda forgot just how much stuff happens in this volume. It’s not even very long as a book, but it still feels like a lot happens. Probably because there’s so many twists and turns and complete shifts in the dynamic of the story.

It’s hard to judge the mystery of this volume since I already knew the identity of the owner in advance, but I still think it’s handled really well as a mystery. The weakest part of it is probably just that if you exclude Kazuki and Maria, there’s only like four major characters who could be the owner, so there’s not really too many options. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people just kinda meta-logic’d their way into guessing it correctly.

The story does a good job of throwing you off the trail and making you suspect Kirino, though. Even as someone who already knew the general answer to the mystery, I got genuinely confused at parts and thought that they really were talking about her instead of Mogi, even if Kirino still wasn’t the owner of the box. Obviously there’s a few big sections which are narrated by an undefined female character, and the way that they’re about Mogi when she used to be sociable and friendly makes you assume it’s Kirino, but there’s also stuff like the scene where Mogi stabs Kirino, and when Kazuki arrives at the scene the narration describes him as seeing ‘Kirino and someone that used to be Mogi’. The immediate assumption is that it’s talking about Mogi that way because she’s dead, but as you find out soon after, it was phrased that way because she stopped being Mogi once she succumbed to the endless repetition of her box and became a murderer.

Which is also an idea that’s presented in a really cool and disturbing way. It’s hard not to be really sympathetic toward her by the end, as you learn about what her wish was, and how she became stuck in this loop of loving someone in a way that could never truly be requited, but being unable to escape the loop without dying. Which slowly drives her insane, leading to the emotionless person we see in the main story.

Even though for most of the story you assume that the owner of the box is completely composed and in control of things, and that them being aware of the loop gives them the advantage, but I really like how that idea gets turned on it’s head as you see how Mogi being stuck in this loop and being aware of it the whole time was exactly what wore her down. The part where it shows her going to Haruaki for advice in each loop about how to deal with people she doesn’t want to see anymore, and him always jokingly suggest she just murder them, was a really good way to illustrate the concept of how even one of the random people in the loop can unwittingly torment the owner of the box.

In general, I really like the psychological horror vibe of this volume. Especially as you get further into the book and plot points like more and more people in the class slowly being ‘rejected’ come up.

Mogi’s whole part in this story is really depressing and messed up in it’s own way, but I also can’t help but feel bad for Maria during all of this. She’s just stuck trying to complete her mission and take control of the box, but she has no real idea how to do it and she winds up basically spending decades trying to find the owner. There’s also the fact that she has to actively make it so that she remembers each loop, and that if she slipped up and succumbed to despair, she’d just become another person looping forever and ever without knowing what’s happening. The whole plot point of how people in the loop manually make it so they keep their memories is kinda . . . vague and hard to wrap my head around, though. The most I can grasp is that it’s tied up in witnessing the car crash at the end of the loop, but I at least feel like Kazuki should have been involved in that more times than what we saw.

Although there’s also the whole part where we find out near the end that Mogi has the power to erase people’s memories once they find out about her identity as the owner, which I kinda forgot until just now for some reason. It helps clear up a lot of things, since it at least helps explain why it took Maria so long to successfully stop her. The fact that she did, but she just failed to stop her each time and wound up forgetting about her, goes a long way to explain it. Especially combined with Maria’s pacifistic nature.

Even though I like the weight it brings to the story, I definitely still feel that the number of loops in the story is slightly absurd. It’s hard to imagine the events of the story being spread out over such a long period of time. I mean, 27,756 days translates to about 76 years. It sorta strains my disbelief a bit. It’s not a huge deal. Mostly, it just makes it kinda weird to consider how spaced out the murders of everyone in the class must have been. Even though Mogi murdered the first person on the 10,000th loop, that still leaves like 50 years of time for her to kill the rest of her victims. Which makes them seem weirdly spread out.

Anyway, back onto the topic of Maria, she was really in an awful position, especially since she could only ever be a transfer student. She had to continually be reset back to when nobody in the class knew who she was [more or less], and so forming lasting bonds was impossible. Which is why I really like the scene at the end where you see how the first loop went, with her explaining to the class that for the sake of her own sanity she’s going to have to close herself off from everyone else, and even take on a fake name in order to truly embrace her role as an illusion. It makes me glad that, now that she’s broken out of the loop, she can actually be herself and make friends.

I also like how they bring up the whole ‘why not wish for infinite wishes’ concept by having that basically be what Maria’s entire existence is. That she’s effectively a box that can infinitely grant wishes. It’s a really neat idea. Especially combined with the whole point about how, since she can’t stop herself from still thinking that wishes can’t be granted so easily, her whole power basically doesn’t work right. I can’t remember if it’s that she ends up causing the person whose wish she grants to die, or if their wish just gets corrupted, but still.

In general I like the whole theme of wishes and their consequences, which is a pretty huge element of this series. I mean, this volume’s whole story is built upon Mogi’s wish to live without regrets, and how that ends up creating this unending time-loop because her wish can’t truly be fulfilled, at least as far as she knew, since she thought that the accident was going to kill her, and so anything that happened in her box would just be a meaningless, artificial afterlife of sorts.

I also quite like the idea of the Boxes as a concept. Mostly because it’s surprisingly unique to imagine a box as a wish-granting item. But it works really well, with how it sets up this whole idea of the box making up this artificial space based upon the person’s wish.

I don’t really have much to say about O as a character, mostly since I can’t really remember what we find out about them in later volumes, and they’re very mysterious and unexplained in this one.

There’s a lot that I haven’t really gone over deeply, like the whole theme of people acting the same way across the loops and how that can be both good and bad [in particular I still like the scene where Haruaki talks about how if he’s going to act the same in every loop, then it means that he’ll always believe in Kazuki and stand by him], but this is going on long enough and this whole post is messy and unorganized enough as it is, so I should probably stop here.

Again, I’m not entirely sure if I’ll bother making posts about the later volumes, but I still plan on buying and reading them as they come out. I still really do love this series, even if it’s kinda hard to articulate why.

Sadly I think I remember the second volume basically being the low point of the series, so that’ll be a bit disappointing, but we’ll see how I feel about it upon a reread.