#Beck Bridgerton

[chewbacca]

S1E07: Oceans Apart S3E01: Out of the Shadows S3E05: Tick Tock S3E06: Romancing Mister Bridgerton

[ladiesblr]

BRIDGERTON S3E07: Joining of Hands

[fanfics-and-shlt]

PLS READ!!!

Im too busy to write so I’ll probably just reblog any good fanfic I find

[nezuscribe]

𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: you have everything you could have asked for in life. a beautiful home in greenwhich, just far away from london so that you don't have to mingle with city life, but close enough to be surrounded by the ton. a library with all the books you could ask for and a friend you care for dearly. all except for the man of your dreams, who just so happens to be your best friends brother. worst of all, he only sees you as such. his sisters best friend. (bridgerton!au)

warnings: 18+ mdni, gojo doesn't know how to communicate his feelings, slight angst (with comfort), smut, eating out (fem! receiving), fingering, (happy ending)

word count: 17.3k+ (i have no idea how)

note: yes, this is inspired by penelope and colin. yes, i know that colin isn't a viscount. their story is coming out later than expected so i took matters into my own hands. tysm @jadeisthirsting for beta reading! (if you saw this the first time no you didn't, i hope tumblr doesn't glitch out again)

jjk masterlist

You had a great life, as far as it went. 

You were born into a wealthy family, far more wealthy than they deserved to be. You had maids at your beck and call and did not need to worry about the future as long as you acted correctly. You had book upon books, as many as you could dream of, so long as you didn’t bore your mother too much with them. You had any sort of food you could dream of and you had the most caring friend in the world who loved you very much. 

Honestly, what more could a woman ask for?

“I say we move the whole ordeal to Friday, seeing how Satoru is only arriving on Wednesday. But my mother insisted that we keep in on Thursday because the rest of London just couldn’t wait to see my dashing brother…” Lily continued her furious rant as she paced back and forth the vast expanse of your family’s drawing room, shaking her head in clear frustration. 

“And you want it to be a day later…because…?” You sipped quietly on your tea, trying to keep your smile at a minimum. It was hard not to get giggly when Lily’s face got red and her eyes bugged out of her sockets. For such a pretty girl it tended to shift her features whenever she got angry or annoyed. 

“Well, he’s going to be tired!” She stopped her pacing as she stared at you with her mouth a bit open as if it were the most obvious answer, “And whenever Satoru is tired he’s so difficult to deal with. He’s going to want to talk about his travels for at least three days before he’s ready to mingle with the rest of the works!” 

You nodded heavily, showing her that you were completely on her side. 

“Has he written to you?” She asked and then quickly shook her head, despite the fact you were going to answer with a quiet yes to her question. He had written you a few letters, all of them stashed in your vanity as you read over them, each going over his travels, sometimes sending you little knick-knacks he saw. 

“Not the point. What I’m trying to say is that my mother always goes over the limit with how much she welcomes her children. And Satoru for that matter! Christ, he’s twenty-five and unmarried!” 

You wanted to sink into your seat in embarrassment. You were only so much younger and had never had even an interaction with a suitor before. 

Life was great, for the most part. 

As much as you couldn’t complain, there was a small matter at hand that was growing increasingly more alarming the more the years went on. 

For as long as you could remember, you and Lily were set on never getting married. Ever since she read that one Jane Austen book she was hellbent on independence and no men. You tagged along, seeing how that was a better excuse than admitting no man had even asked you to join him to be his partner to dance before.

Lily didn’t seem to care much for this. While she was set on her celibacy pact, she had been approached before. It doesn’t change much, but it did at least show her that somebody wants her. You were either such as a spinster or married to some ancient man your mother had to dig out from some corner of the market. 

“And Satoru…” Lily rambled on, but all it did was remind you of an even worse fact. 

You were terribly in love with her brother. 

You have known the Gojo family for ten years, five months, twelve days, and two hours, and you have been in love with Gojo Satoru for ten years, five months, twelve days, and thirty minutes. 

Their family had immigrated from Japan months before the oldest child was born, but they had only moved to Greenwich ten years, five months, and ten days ago. You met them only two days later when you accidentally wandered into their gardens, unknowing that a family had just moved in. 

The first time you met that particular Gojo, you were thirteen and facing serious issues with yourself and your own family. You wanted to move to America in hopes that the boys over there would fancy you more and your mother forbade it. Satoru laughed when he saw your horrified face popping up from their blackberry bush, definitely not expecting to see anybody there. 

“Hello there,” the stranger called out. You thought he was a grandfather with the way his hair was artic white, but he only seemed to be a bit older than you the closer he got. 

“I’m not stealing from you I swear!” You cried out as you let the blackberries tumble out of your stained hands. You cannot be taken to prison, you simply wouldn’t survive. 

“I can see that.” He crossed his arms as he tried not to laugh at the way your dress was stained a dark blue color. 

He introduced himself, and Lily, and soon, you and the girl were attached at the hip. 

It didn’t help that as kind and as charming as he was, he only saw you as his sister's closest friend. It also didn’t help that every other woman in high society seemed to be in love with the man and it certainly made it so much more horrific that he seemed to have his eyes on everybody else but you. 

He, much like his sister, was averse to the idea of marriage, but for a completely different reason. 

He seemed to despise the idea of being committed, which is most likely why he had been traveling the entirety of Europe and Asia for the past year or so. Despite his mother’s frantic worrying about setting him up with a respectable lady, he pushed them all aside and fled (in some sense) and will be making his grand appearance a couple of days from now. Everybody is chattering with excitement. You’re trying not to fill with total impending dread. 

It had already taken everything you had to pretend that he didn’t exist and that he had simply disappeared, and you knew your wretched mind would fall for him just as quickly as it did the first time around when you were set to see him next week. 

“...and, are you even listening?” Lily asked, her voice garbling back to life as you snapped your eyes back to hers, covering your mouth with your teacup as you insistently nodded, trying to keep your smile from faltering as she squinted her eyes to look you over and see what was wrong.

“I’m totally in tune with you Lils,” you insisted, nibbling on a cookie to help you with nausea which only seemed to make it worse. 

“Hm,” she grunted, not seeming to believe you but not truly caring as she continued, “And thank the heavens you’ll be there beside me, for who knows what would become of me in such an unruly crowd of men and women just waiting for my brother to make his entrance. I’d lose my sanity.” 

Yes, you thought, how lucky. If only love worked that way, of ignoring it until it faded. If only.

“I’ll be there.” You promised. 

For better or for worse, you’d be there. 

---

The ball was just as you had imagined it. 

Extravagant, elegant, large, and incredibly crowded. 

One of the perks of being an outsider in these sorts of scenes is you didn’t have to dance anymore (no matter how much it stung the first time around getting used to this fact). 

Lily was off somewhere, being forced to socialize. Your other sisters were also lost in the crowd, either dancing or being swooned by a potential match. 

You were yet to see the man of the hour, but then again, so was everybody else. He was either hiding away or being swallowed whole by the hoards of people eager to get a glimpse of him. 

Not that you wanted to see him, of course. Just curious. 

The food was, as always, a bonus. Nobody was going to judge you for scarfing anything down when you had begrudgingly sworn off marriage, and perhaps one of the good things about Lily's pact was that you didn’t care much about the public eye anymore. 

“Please, at least act like we’re not starving you.” Your mother pleaded, unfortunately, stuck to your side for the night as she eyes you and your plate. 

“I’m trying my best,” you reasoned, making sure you didn’t drop anything on your dress. 

“The Viscount is coming tonight,” she tried to think and you snorted, earning some distasteful looks from the widows around you. 

“And he’s just dying to see me, I suppose?” You rolled your eyes at the idea, to help the sting from your own words. It was better to be rationable than to be delusional. 

“Well it doesn’t hurt to-”

“Try?” You cut her off with another laugh as you chew on an eclair, “Might as well. Right after the Princess introduces herself I’ll go up.” The two of you eye the girl in the diamond-encrusted gown with an equally bright tiara on her head. Your mother gave up the argument. 

For the last couple of days, you have been at a mental war with yourself. On the one hand, it surely must mean something if he wrote you letters. On the other one, he wrote it to his entire family and he probably views you as such. No matter how much you want to pretend that the Gojo cares for you, it won’t be in the same way that measures how much you care for him. 

“I’m going to get some more of these macaroons, I’ll be right back.” You excuse yourself as your mother pressed her lips into a thin line, wanting to push you to dance but knowing no amount of persuading was going to change your mind when it was already set on something. 

Wading through the dense crowd was certainly a feat, but you did it nonetheless. From the dessert table, you could barely make out the pop of chartreuse that was Lily's gown, and you wondered how much longer until she’d be free to giggle and gossip with you. 

Your eyes scanned over the little sweets carefully as you mentally weighed which one would taste good and which one would be a surprise in the kindest sense of the word. The colorful ones were often pretty but they tested either too bland or too bitter and the ones with caramel side sugar tended to be too sweet. All the good macaroons with the pistachio filling were gone, which was odd because you could only count on your fingers how many people aside from you tended to favor that one. 

“Looking for something?”

A green macaron was held in front of your face, slowly forcing you to turn your head in its direction as it began to pull away from you

Him. 

“Oh!” 

Oh? If only you could hit yourself in the head that would be great. 

“Oh?” Gojo chuckled, his brows pinching together in slight confusion at your reaction as his lips threatened to pull into a teasing smile, “I haven’t seen you in a year and that's what you’ve got to say?”

You try not to let your heart flutter at his cheeky manner as you roll your eyes, your smile growing as you take him in. 

He’s gotten taller if that was even possible. His hair is still as white as it was, and it seems that no amount of sun was going to change that. He’s gotten a little bit tanner, no longer that frigid pale hue to his skin that made you worry he’d drop dead at any moment. He’s unfortunately more muscular, which just means you have to cast away the scrawny image you’ve made in your mind in hopes that he’d come back anemic. 

His eyes are just as captivating as ever, blue and inviting. His jaw is sharper and yet he has no facial hair on his face. Which you prefer on most men but you’re glad he’s never given into that trend. 

Most importantly, he still looks like that boy you fell in love with so many years ago, and no time away would ever change you at your core. 

You try to not let your neck prickle with heat as he seems to assess you the same way you're doing to him, try not to feel self-conscious as his eyes roam over your features. Sure, a person can change in a year, but you wouldn’t bet you’ve changed that much that would warrant this amount of staring.

“So…?” 

“‘Toru, hi!” You snap out of your state, watching as his face picks up and breaks into a grin as you set your plate down somewhere, seemingly now realizing that Satoru is here and in front of you, “My, you’ve grown so much!”

“Really?” He looks at his torso and his arms as if he can’t believe it. 

“Well, a bit,” you curse at your awkwardness as he cocks a brow, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit out of my element tonight. I apologize for my earlier reaction.” You duck your head down for a second as he waves it off, hopefully not offended. 

You’re glad this little table is tucked away in an alcove away from most of the public eye, and the only people around the two of you are older people and the people standing outside in the gardens. Either they don’t see the man or they’re being somewhat human and granting the two of you some privacy. 

“Apology accepted, but not needed,” he teases, patting your shoulder affectionately as you try not to act as if that single touch made you reconsider the idea of marriage. 

“How are you?” He asks after a beat, not affected by your out-of-character attitude as he tilts his head to the side. 

“As good I could be,” you offer him a wink that came off as an elongated blink, “Whatever Lily filled you in on has most likely happened to me too.” He chuckles, his laughter the sound of melted honey. 

Fuck, you’re never going to get over him. 

“And you? How were your trips?” You egged him on, eyes tracing him, watching as some pink dusted over his cheeks. 

“Boring. Couldn’t wait to come back.” He says, but you can hear the sarcasm in his voice. Mixed with the way he couldn’t contain his bits of laughter, you laughed alongside him. 

“I’d believe it if not for your tan and newfound outlook on life, or so it seems from how Lily describes it.”

“She exaggerates everything,” he waves it off, and you wonder what that double-edged sword implies. 

“I-”

“He’s here!” You hear a loud voice cut you off as the two of you look over your shoulder to see his mother leading the awaiting princess and her train to where the two of you are standing, “He seems to be getting warmed up with this fine lady!” She says your name as heat rushes to your cheeks in embarrassment. 

It was only seconds before you were surrounded by men and women you had never seen before, all hanging off of Satoru’s words as he scrambled to answer all of their questions. 

And so it begins, you say to yourself as you push away from them, going to find Lily as you wonder why you even try. 

You miss the way he calls out for you, quiet enough so that nobody else hears it, but loud enough that his chest tightens in confusion at the sheer desperation of it. 

---

“I despise men!”

You’re at the Gojo estate for once, and Lily has started a new tirade that has lasted for the last hour. 

“What brought this on?” You press, exchanging worried glances with Satoru and her younger sister as she groans, jamming her palms into her eyes as she vehemently shakes her head. 

“Does this,” she shoves her hand, more importantly, her ring finger without a ring, in front of your face, “Look like I’m keen on getting married to you?”

“No….?” You mutter, scared of what she would say next. 

“Does it look like an invitation to barge into my home?”

“Not exactly,” You say, earning a sympathetic look for Satoru as she glares at him. 

“Does it look like I want to get frisky in the broom cupboards?”

“Christ! Lily, your sisters here!” You shout, jumping to cover the young girl's ears. Lily waves it off and Satoru just chuckles, a twinkle in his eyes as you usher the girl out of the tea room as you slam the door shut. 

“This certainly beats the beaches in Venice,” Satoru says as you near the table again, winking at you as you laugh quietly. 

“I’m so glad I’m not getting married. You should be too,” she points her finger at you as you look up at her, “Men are nothing but evil, money hungry, sex driven-”

“Charming, majestic-” Satoru talks over her as she talks even louder. 

“Dirty animals!” She finishes with a cry. 

You and Satoru share a glance as you try to laugh. She’s not wrong, far from it. The majority of men in this place needed to be sent back to their creator, but Lily had a vein in his forehead that was protruding at an odd angle. 

“You laugh now, but you’ll be thanking me fifty years from now.” She warns as you nod, acting totally compliant with her. 

“You’re still with her on her no-marriage pact?” Satoru asks as he stands up, walking past Lily as he looks out from the window, seemingly admiring the gardens outside. He glances over at you as you sink into the satin cushions beneath you. 

“Yes,” but your answer came out shaky and unsure. 

“Of course she is,” Lily answered for you with a definite nod, “And besides, she’s the luckier one. It’s not like any man has even asked her to marry anyway.” She says jokingly, shoving a biscuit in her mouth as she plops herself down beside you, nudging your shoulder with hers as if it were the funniest thing in the world. 

You wish the sofa could swallow you whole. 

“Hey,” Satoru turns around, brows furrowed as he looks at his sister, but the door opens before he can finish his sentence. 

“Miss Gojo,” their butler, Fred, who you’ve known since you’ve known Lily announces for her as he stands at the foot of the door, “Your mother has requested your presence in her quarters.”

Lily stands up with a groan, wiping the crumbs off of her dress as she makes sure there’s nothing around the corners of her mouth. 

“I’m needed elsewhere,” she pats your arm caring for it despite having her words wanting to make you plummet yourself off of a cliff, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You give her a weak goodbye, watching as she leaves with the door shutting behind her as you sit up a bit straighter, getting ready to leave yourself. 

You stand up, careful not to make any eye contact with Satoru out of sheer embarrassment as you smooth out the wrinkles in your dress, hoping the silence would suffocate you faster than it would him. 

“Lily talks too much sometimes,” he finally says, stepping away from the window as he takes a two closer to your direction, before passing, “I’d apologize on her behalf but I’m pretty sure she’s already forgotten what she’s said.” He tries to lighten the mood and bless his soul, but you can already feel your spirits for the day sour. 

“It’s alright,” you promise, though he seems to disagree but you continue anyway, “I know her, she doesn’t mean it.” Still doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt, a part of you chides. 

“Are you leaving?” He asked, taking another tentative step forward. 

“I was planning on it,” you say with a little chuckle, hoping that your eyes watering up wasn’t too noticeable, “Is that alright with you?”

He looked at you with his bright eyes and just blinked, taking a while to reach his senses. 

“Y-yes! Yes, quite alright. Let me just get my coat…” He muttered, brushing past you as you quickly tried to reject his incoming offer. 

“There’s no need!” You run a bit to catch up to him and his fast pace, “My house is barely two skips away,” you lamely joke, hoping he’d give it up. You wanted to wallow in your self-pity on your walk home, not have to converse with the one man who’d inadvertently give you more to pity over. 

“Not a chance,” he argued, draping the coat in question over his arm, “What sort of person would I be if I let you walk out alone?”

Any other person, you wanted to say but stopped yourself. 

“I don’t mean to bother you…” You wrong your hands in a nervous state, eyes darting everywhere but his. 

You were trying to work on your silly crush this past week, which had unfortunately ramped up ever since he came back. In response, you worked out that the best solution to getting over it was to act like he didn’t exist and ignore him whenever possible. Clearly, it was working out completely in your favor. 

“Not a bother at all.” He insisted, linking his other arms with yours as you jumped a bit in surprise. He was forward, if anything. 

“Fred,” he calls out, getting the butler's attention as you try to hide yourself away, “Tell my mother I’ll be back in a bit.” The man just nods, opening up the front doors as Satoru leads the two of you out. 

The sun was out and working away, which didn’t help with the heat already prickling away through your skin. The Gojo estate was large, but hidden away, and for that you were glad. You could only imagine the gossip that would arise if certain ladies in society were to see you (helplessly) draped over the bachelor's arm. 

“Are you enjoying being back here?” You asked, trying to exert your confidence when you were feeling anything but. 

It’s not like you were unsure of yourself at most times, it’s just that when you’re around the one man you’ve been in love with since childhood and he feels nothing of the sort, you can’t help but be more conscious over everything. 

Satoru looked at you, shrugging as he pursed his lips, thinking of an answer. 

“I missed it,” he says, “But I mainly came back for my family and my friends and well…” He trailed off, chewing on his lip as he waved off his thoughts as if it didn’t matter, “Nonetheless, now that I’ve been around them, I remember why I wanted to leave.” 

And sometimes, despite him not wanting to, made you feel as if you were the most important person he’s had the pleasure of talking to, when in reality that’s just in his nature. 

“Is Lily pestering you too much?” You tease, a little smile on your face that wrinkles the edges of your eyes. He simply stared at you again, his eyes bright. 

“That,” he playfully tugged on your arm, “And the fact that my mother has bombarded me with the idea of marriage. And Luke is having troubles with his fiancé  and Annie doesn’t want to learn to read…it’s all just very chaotic.” He finished with a tired laugh, as if that’s all he could muster up. 

“Seems like a normal day in your house, if I’m being honest.” You lament, kicking a pebble with the point of your shoe. 

“I guess so,” he heaves a sigh that comes out dramatically, “Honestly, I don’t know how you’ve put up with it all these years.”

You scoff, digging your elbow into his side a bit to show that you were offended by his statement. 

“Your family is perhaps the closest thing I have to a second family!”

“And who says family can’t get on your last nerve?” He argued, and that shut you up. He was, indubitably, correct. 

“Yes, well,” you stumble to find some reasoning and he laughs seeing you falter, knowing that he got you cornered, “‘Toru, you are simply a horrible influence to be around.” Is all you can come up with, and despite the severity of your words it only seems to spur him on even more. 

“And yet you can’t seem to get enough of me, can you?” 

You almost stopped in your tracks, your heart seizing in your chest as you try not to fumble up your well-made facade of indifference. 

All you could remember upon his statement were the words he spoke so long ago, not knowing you’d heard them. 

“Charles, you don’t get it, I don’t want a wife!” Satoru exclaimed as he snapped at his friend. It was a gala held at the queen's palace and you had strayed too far away from Lily and found yourself hiding behind a wall as you eavesdropped on the conversation. 

“Not even the Princess?” Another man pushed as you heard Satoru let out a heavy sigh. You peeled around to see him pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“I don’t want to be tied down. You saw what happened to my parents.” He argued. A part of you sympathized with him. 

“Well,” you could make out this voice as his younger brother, two years older than you he went to thinking, “What about that friend of Lily’s? She seems nice enough.”

The hair on your arm pricked upwards. Surely they couldn’t be talking about you. 

“Who?” Satoru asks and his brother says your name in a hushed whisper, as if you held more weight in your title than the Princess did. 

“Her? No, absolutely not,” he said with such disgust that his friends thought he was joking, “You’re out of your mind if you’d think I’d want to court her.”

Your heart, full of love and hope and dreams cracked, crumbled in your chest. And you left, running away because that’s all you knew how to do and sobbed your eyes out to Lily, stating that you heard somebody talking bad about you, refusing to admit that it was her own brother that was causing you to break in front of her. 

A part of you felt pathetic for still caring for him after that night, but there’s not much fight in you when it comes to the people you loved. You pulled away, sure, and stopped your lame excuses of flirting, but you never stopped. He never found out that you heard, so he continued as your friend and you continued as the shameless woman. 

“Right,” you swallow thickly, glad that your estate is now growing closer and closer, knowing that you feel sick and can’t handle it anymore, “Thank you so much for your help, but I’m sure I can make the treacherous journey on my own now.” 

You wring your hand away from his arm, you smile wobbling as you tip your head in his direction, watching him try to make sense of your quick change in nature. 

“Let me take you up to your door,” he started but you raised your hand to silence him, shaking your head. 

“That would be too much to ask for. I will leave you here…um, Satoru,” you say politely, not noting the way his jaw clenched at your sudden formality when addressing him, “I’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully.”

And you left quickly before he could say anything else. You must stay focused on the reality of your situation;

Your best friend's brother just simply wasn’t in love with you. 

---

“Miss,” 

You perked up from your chair in your quaint little library, setting your book down as you watched one of the maids, Ella, politely calls from the door. 

“There’s a gentleman outside calling for you.”

Your brows furrowed as you found a marker so that you don’t lose your place and purse your lips together in questioning. 

“Do you know who…?” Your head cocked to the side as you stood up, walking near her as you wondered if it were that delivery boy who said he’d come with the new copies of the Brontë books you’d been eyeing for the past month. 

“It’s the Viscount Gojo, miss.” She said simply. 

Your face dropped, and you watched as confusion spread across hers. 

“Him? Here? Did he say what was wrong?” You began to rustle around, trying to find something to throw on top of your slip. 

Did something happen to Lily? Did she run away? Was their mother in trouble? You could recall her telling you that her head was aching, could something serious have happened because of that? Christ, you should have told somebody about it rather than comfort her and make her tea. Was he leaving again? Perhaps-

“He said he wanted to see you miss, that’s all he told me.” She seemed apprehensive, judging your face to see if you were maybe feeling ill due to your reaction. 

“Um, alright, just,” you hurried around, trying your fastest to get to your room, “Tell him I’ll be down in a few minutes! Don’t tell him I’m preparing myself, just say that I was discussing matters with somebody!” You call out as you sprint across the halls, not hearing any confirmation as you lock yourself in your room, ransacking your closet to find something not too flashy but not too boring. 

It took a good four minutes just to find a suitable dress and another five to make your face and hair look presentable enough as you scampered down the stairs only to find said Viscount waiting in the foyer. 

His face turned to yours as he heard your heels clicking on the marble, growing into a bright smile as he dipped his head down to greet you. 

“Hello,” he said your name with that smooth voice of his as he took his jacket off and kept it on his arm, “I’m sorry for turning up on such short notice.”

“It’s no problem,” you try to catch your breath for the first time in the last ten minutes as your chest heaves slightly up and down, “No problem at all. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He takes a second to respond, eyes scanning your features, your clothing, your chest as it tries to catch a solid breath, and you feel yourself look down to make sure there aren't any noticeable wrinkles in the fabric. 

“I, I just wanted to drop in. See how you were doing.”

You tried not to look even more startled, but your brows creased once again as you gnawed on the inside of your cheek. 

“I’m quite alright…thank you…?” You couldn’t look that out of the ordinary, right?

“Good, that’s good,” he watched as you finished your descent down the stairs, slowly coming towards him as you waited for him to finish, “I’m sorry if I interrupted your conversation with…?” Ella did give him a name you wanted to guess. 

“Lord Cornwallis.” You finished for him, not knowing why that was the first name that came to your mind. It was true that he had been here yesterday, but you didn’t talk much to him in his brief visit. 

“Lord Cornwallis?” Satoru repeated back in shock, his brows shooting upwards as he did nothing to hide his outburst. His face quickly turned into one of disgust, which accurately represented the emotions you felt yesterday when you eavesdropped on the conversation he had with your mother behind closed doors. 

“Yes, you just missed him. He went out through the back door,” why were you making this web of lies even bigger? You have no self-control, do you?

“What was Cornwallis doing here?” 

You but your tongue, having to come up with a lie or tell the truth as to why he had visited yesterday. Either way, both options turned out with horrible results. 

“He asked for my hand.” The truth it was, then. 

His brows seemed to disappear into his hairline as his jaw slacked, mouth wide open. Damn your mind, you should have just lied. 

Lily was wrong in one thing, perhaps. You have gotten a few marriage offers in the last three years, but by all men who were older than your grandfather. You hadn’t even told Lily about them and now you were telling her brother. 

“I…” Satoru couldn’t even find the right words to say. You wanted to bury yourself in a hole. 

“…Cornwallis? Isn’t he-”

“Pushing ninety-nine? Yes.” Nobody was sure of his age, and ninety-nine was perhaps even being too generous. Everybody knew that Cornwallis was simply ancient. 

“Did I save you from the conversation at least? I must say, if there was any man I would wish ill upon, it’s certainly him. He’s a lying old cheat.” He tried to joke again but you swallowed thickly. Perhaps if he came at the same time yesterday he might have. But he didn’t and you had to sit through an hour of him pleading with your mother as the two of you just stared in abject horror and surprise. 

“Yes well, thank you…for doing that.” You lied, cleaning your teeth together as you tried to smile, not wanting to hurt his feelings as you came up closer to him, desperately hoping to change the topic of the conversation. 

“Is everything alright with Lily?” You asked his eyes that were focused on the floor jumping to yours as your lips parted, worry still clear on your face. 

“Yes, of course, I just wanted to ask a favor of you. But, judging from your encounter with men today I would understand if this is pushing it,” he cut right to the crux of the matter. He seemed nervous, which was an odd emotion to see on a man otherwise very confident and sure in himself. It unsettled you. 

You tilted your head, waiting for him to find his words and continue. You could make out the slight blush on his face, the pink hue that spread across his cheeks, and the tip of his nose. He was, by all means, the cutest person you’ve ever seen. 

“My mother's holding another ball, two weeks from now, you see,” his lip caught between his teeth, “And she’s been bugging me about having a date for the night. She wants to appease the rest of the gentry, I suppose. Would you, by any chance, like to be that?” 

You stopped computing his words. 

“...It’s honestly just to get her off my back. And you wouldn’t have to stay with me the entire evening, you could do whatever you’d like after we get some of the necessities over with. Lily was the first who suggested the idea, she said you wouldn’t be doing much other than gossip with her. Of course, if you don’t want to I certainly won’t force the idea, but it’s merely a suggestion.” His blue eyes, ever so convincing and round and caring bore into yours, and despite your better judgment you find yourself nodding. 

“I wouldn’t mind it,” you say a bit breathlessly, completely forgetting about Cornwallis and the way you were debating it and the fact that this means nothing at all, and would most likely cause you more harm than good. 

His nervousness washed away into a big smile, and you cursed yourself at the little flicker of hope you felt deep in your soul as he scrambled to find the right words to say to thank you. The flood of gratitude and appreciation stabbed deeply into your heart as he kept repeating friend, but you were too hopeful for love. 

Your mother always said that loving would always be your greatest weakness. 

---

You should have said no. 

The amount of eyes that were focused on you was enough to make you nauseous, and you couldn’t get sick for you hadn’t had anything to eat today with how hurried everything was. 

Your arm was draped around Satoru’s, and he held tightly onto your hand. He was the image of luxury and charisma right now, and if you were in the crowd looking as he made his way through the crowd you almost would have wanted to bow. 

Time came by a lot faster when you were totally freaking out over it, and before you knew it, you were put in a dress you hadn’t even picked and corseted to the heavens. Your hair was done with extra detail, and they even went as far as putting some Swarovski’s into it so that when the candlelight hit it, you’d sparkle twice as much. 

Satoru, ever the gentleman, had picked you up from your estate as he walked you to their home amidst all the chaos of getting ready for another ball. In all honesty, you have no idea how their mother manages to keep her sanity through all of this.

You were still a bit giddy from your earlier interaction with Satoru, although it didn’t do much to calm your nerves now. 

“I’m sorry for taking so long!” You had said as you rushed down your stairs, careful not to trip over your train as you put your earrings in. Ella said that he was waiting for you downstairs, you just underestimated how early he’d be. 

“Don’t apologize…” He had turned around from admiring a painting, his eyes widening a bit when he saw you. He quickly shut his mouth, but you had already gauged his reaction. You tried not to let it get the best of you, but you could have sworn he blushed more often than usual when you interlinked your arm with his.

“You’re cutting off my blood circulation.” He whispers in your ear as you try to smile, your eyes nervous as they dart around the room. How could it be even bigger than that last ball? Did they suddenly meet thirty new people? 

“Maybe you could cut mine off.” You snap back through your teeth, your hand gripping his wrist as tightly as you could. 

“How are we supposed to dance if one of us is dead?” He grumbles back, putting on a little grin as he makes eye contact with his mother, and then goes back to whispering, “It’s just one song and you’re done. You’ve done this before.”

You wanted to shove him to the ground. 

“No, I haven’t!” You say loud enough that he hears but try to mask it so that nobody else does, “I told you yesterday this is my first time dancing with somebody!” As embarrassing as it was to admit, right now you couldn’t be bothered to care as he led you to the middle of the room, standing in first position as you two waited for the orchestra to begin. 

“Are you saying I’m your first?” He teased, his tongue poking out from between his lips as he watched you grow mortified, rubbing the back of your hand in a comforting way as his means to apologize. 

You wanted to go ahead and argue but the cello and violins started and you were whisked away by his calculated movements, and the only thing you could do was follow in his lead. 

The two of you practiced a bit in the days leading up to this, but it was a lot different when your only crowd was Lily and her constant whining about how boring it was. 

Now, with everybody staring at you and him, it was far more daunting. 

“Don’t look at the ground, look at me,” he whispered in your ear, smiling when your eyes traveled to him. He tried not to crack when he saw the pure loathing and hatred in them, but at least you were looking up and not at his shoes. 

“‘Toru I’m never doing a favor for you again, you owe me.” You groan, letting him twirl you around in a circle as some of the ladies give a polite clap. 

“Name your price.” He egged you on, bringing you back flush against his chest as his hand found purchase on your waist. 

“Not money,” you grumble, eyes twitching as your heart beats rapidly in your chest, you’ve always wanted to dance with him, sure, but not under these circumstances. 

“Books?” You consider it but shake your head. You deserve something bigger for what you’re putting yourself through. Shocking enough, after being a wallflower for so many years, you weren’t handling being in the spotlight too well. 

“I’ll think about it. But it has to be big.” You warn and he lifts up his pinky on your waist to show you his unbridled loyalty to keeping true to your words.

“Where are you going after this is done?” He spins the two of you around, and you watch as more couples rush around the two of you. It’s less stressful when others are dancing, but you still feel tense. 

“I’m probably going to stay with Lily outside.” He seems to deflate a little, though he still stands tall, his suit never crinkling through his movements. 

“No more dancing?” He teased but you vehemently disagree with the idea. 

“Never again.” It’s not as though you hate it, in fact, a younger you would have been jumping with glee to be able to dance with Satoru. But after years of growing accustomed to watching rather than participating, you can’t grow out of that habit. 

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around to see the Princess herself as she looked at you with pleading eyes. 

“Would you mind if…?” She motioned to Satoru and then to you. You barely noticed the number coming to an end, and the rupture of applause was the last thing you heard before you scrambled away from him. 

You didn’t even notice how he had held onto your hand tighter, not wanting to let you go.

“O-of course, your majesty.” You winced at your select choice of words and how you said her title almost as if you questioned it. 

“Thank you.” She mumbled and for somebody of such high regard, you wouldn’t think of her to need to plead with somebody, especially you, to be able to have a dance with Satoru. 

Your job for the night was done, successfully might be too loose of a term, but finished nonetheless. You chose not to look back at Satoru, knowing that the wide grin he’d save for the girls he was interested in would only twist that knife deeper into your heart. 

You were a sadist in the most pathetic way possible.

You waved goodbye to Satoru as another number started again, and tried your best to get away from all the twirling bodies as you headed out to find Lily. 

It didn’t take long until you found her trying to weasel out some information from her brother, tapping him repeatedly on the shoulder as he tried to fight her off. 

“…what did you hear, what do you know?” She pressed as he groaned, obviously trying to have a private conversation with the lady next to him. 

“Nothing Lily!” He locked eyes with you as he almost begged silently for you to take her. 

“Lily, I’m here. We can go now.” You looped elbows with her as you dragged her away, giving her brother a quick smile that said you accepted his gratefulness. 

As you walked through the stone path in the garden, she muttered dejectedly about how she was just about to get some good information out of him. 

“How was dancing with Satoru?” She finally asked after a while. The two of you weren’t alone, but far less crowded than it would if you had been inside. 

“Stressful, but the song was short so I wasn’t needed for too long.” You tell her honestly. If there’s one thing you can’t do with Lily it’s lie, for she’ll sniff out of you the moment you come up with it. 

“You look flustered.” She noted, looking over your face and the sweat that dotted over your cheekbones. 

“You dance in a sweltering room like that with the entire ton looking at you and try not to get flustered.” You reasoned and she seemed to buy it. It wasn’t a total lie, but a stretch of the truth. 

“You know,” Lily had terrible balance and often collided with you as she walked, “I was talking to my mother and despite her insistent warnings, I think we should make it official.”

“Make what official?” The lights from the candles above you illuminated her face and she had that look of mischief that either excited or frightened you. 

“That we plan to be unwed.” She grinned cheek to cheek and all you could feel was that same wave of nausea that had been prickling at you since the start of the night. This was the last thing you needed to hear about right now. 

“They’re going to think we’re either lunatics or lovers.” You say with a sullen and heavy sigh, looking up at the sky in some sort of desperate manner as you wait for some sort of angel to save you from this conversation. 

“And what’s the issue with that? Let them think. You have always said you’ve wanted this, so let’s let the world know.” 

Something you wish Lily was was to be more aware. As loving, thoughtful and caring as she was, she never seemed to pick up on the little things. For one, you doubted she noticed just how quiet you got whenever she brought up this conversation. You’d give her the benefit of the doubt and say that you rarely talked much when it came to marriage, but that was just so that you could save yourself from the ongoing embarrassment of never having experienced love or some sort of feeling that somebody would feel towards you to genuinely want to be your husband. 

Not only that, but far from Lily's point of help, is the fact that ever since Satoru has been back, your childish feelings have come flooding right in with him. No matter how many tea sessions you have with Lily and have him sitting in the background, either reading the morning's paper or jotting things down in his journal, it always spins to him sitting right beside you as you talk about anything under the sun. 

And while you know your hopes of marrying him are just too far-fetched, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic. Something Lily just hasn’t ever been able to pick up on when around you. Which is shocking, seeing how the only novels you’ve read for the majority of your life was centered around such a topic. 

“Listen, Lily, I’ve been thinking,” you pause for a second in your place, staring at the pebbles arranged in the formation of a star as you swallow your bile, “That maybe…” 

You were nervously wringing your hands together, a sign that Lily knew all too well. She could read you like any of her books, and she let out a gasp, covering her mouth with a shaky hand as she pointed an accusatory finger at you. 

“No,” she dug the finger into your chest, “You’re thinking of breaking up the pact?” It comes out breathless. Her soft curls of white that had been done up beautifully were slowly falling down as she shook her head in pure shock, not giving you a chance to talk. 

“I mean this is just brilliant. Brilliant! What am I supposed to do now, go out into the world alone as a spinster?” 

You stuttered, your fingers interlaced with one another as you tried to calm her down from causing a scene. Trying to shush her came to no avail as you wring your hands away from her, acting as if your touch was burning. 

If the Gojo’s were anything, it’s overly dramatic in places where dramatics were certainly not needed. 

“Please be rational,” she urged you as she clutched onto your wrists, suddenly pleading to you with her wide eyes, “The season is almost over and you haven’t had any offers. Sooner than later we’re going to be thirty, then forty, then fifty, and husbandless. We should say it now so that it doesn’t come off as a pathetic cry to hold onto what little decency we have in the future!” 

Christ, you hated that she was being somewhat logical. But her rationality stung, the way melted wax does when it burns the skin. She didn’t know just how much she was hurting you, and you doubted she ever would. 

“Look, I know I’m probably not going to be offered a chance at marriage, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least try.” You try to reason with her as she sniffs, her eyes squinted as she looks at you in anger. 

“This was our pact and you’re going against it! What’s next?”

You were going to argue that this pact was only made on the basis of her having too much champagne to drink and you being sullen over her brother, but you were cut off from getting the chance to do so. 

“What’s your issue?” 

You turned around at the familiar voice as you saw Satoru nearing you, Lily continuing her rant as she seemed to completely miss that her brother was coming towards the two of you. 

“What?” You felt overwhelmed with having two Gojo’s corner you, both rather angry from the looks of it. 

“I know that this isn’t your scene but you said you’d be my date. You don’t have to dance with me, but at least be there.” He looks like he’s seething, and you’ve never seen this look on him before. It’s jarring, to say the least. 

You feel like your head is about to explode. 

“I just-”

“....and my mother was only more confident in the idea if you were doing it!” Lily exclaimed, causing you to look back at her as she urged you to think about it. 

“...my mother has given me at least twenty women to mull over in the last twenty minutes. It would have been none if you just acted as my date for the night!” Satoru’s voice rose, and you felt like your heart was going to actually stop. Your head was spinning, your vision was blurry, and you couldn’t hear anything besides a loud ringing in your ears. 

“I’m sorry but-” The two of them talked over you, so stuck in their own worlds that they didn’t notice the tears pricking at your eyes or the way you seemed to be short of breath. It would probably be one of their greatest flaws, never noticing something until it was far too late. 

“Stop!” You cried out, earning some looks from the people around you as you rubbed at your forehead, already feeling it ache under your touch, “Please! Listen, just for a bloody second!” 

You took a deep breath and began. 

“I’m a fucking romantic Lily, and nothing’s ever going to change that! I always have been! And I want to get married, I just agreed to your pact because I know I’m probably never going to get that chance! And god, how can your only takeaway from reading Persuasion be to abstain from marriage?” Your nose crinkles in anger as you turn around to point your finger at her brother's chest, watching as he takes your reaction in obvious surprise. 

“You!” You cry out and he almost backs away, “I was trying to give you some courtesy by leaving! God forbid you gave anybody the idea that you were courting me!” You quickly wipe at your eyes but it does fuck all of hiding how you truly felt as your lips wobbled.  

“Why would…?” He's breathless, no longer angry, just utterly confused and a wee bit frightened. 

“We both know you’re too good for that. How’d you phrase it, you’d be out of your mind if you did such a thing?” You throw his own words back at him, and you watch in some sort of mixture of triumph and heartbreak as realization washes over his features. 

He finally remembers. 

“I…” he swallowed thickly, running a hand through his hair as it fell out of his face, rubbing at his jaw as you looked at you from beneath his lashes, “I didn’t…” but he can’t finish his sentences and instead stops, sharing an unreadable look with his sister as they then look at you. 

“I’m going home.” You say after a beat of silence, breathing deeply through your nose as you look away from the two of them. 

“Let me-” Satoru started but you raised a hand to stop him. 

“I think I’d be better off alone.” You snap, nostrils flaring as you shake your head, pinching the bridge of your nose as you try to stop the already impending migraine that is about to come. 

For once in your life, you didn’t care about the eyes boring into your back or the way that whispers flew around you and twisted around your throat like a vine. You were glad that nobody else other than the servants was home as you ran up into your room, locking everybody else out as you sobbed into your pillows. 

---

The days following your (well-deserved) outburst were more than rough. 

To your knowledge, Lily has visited a total of ten times in the past five days, sometimes twice in the same one, while her brother has visited a grand total of zero. You didn’t expect much from him, but this really cemented your quickly growing disdain. 

Your mother informed you constantly that she was trying to put out the fires from that night but you couldn’t bring it to feel too bad, after all, you were glad that you didn’t say anything more drastic. 

“This is just so unlike you!” She cried, shaking in disappointment as you munched on some sweets you nicked from the kitchen. 

“I know,” you chuckled, “I’m so proud of myself.”

She just throws her hands in the air as a sign of utterly giving up and storms out of the room, most likely to meet with somebody else to “clean up the mess.”

She was right for some part, you can’t remember the last time you actually told somebody how you were feeling. It’s not healthy on your end, but growing up with three older sisters who always got it their way meant that you had some lack of backbone. 

Lily and Satoru, as much as you cared about them, didn’t live like that. Their mother loved them all equally and she made sure that all of their voices were heard. She was always making sure that their priorities were met and she never made them feel inferior. 

Which somehow, didn’t pass on to you. 

Loving the way you do got tiring when you got nothing back, and giving everybody your all when nobody seemed to notice it felt as though you were alone in a world full of people who cared for each other. You’ve read the books and heard the stories, but you eventually realized that it simply just wasn’t in your cards to be dealt the same thing. 

They cared, you know they did. But sometimes, it felt like they expected your care in order for them to show it to you. 

“Miss?” you heard a faint voice and a knock at your door. You sat up from your slump as Ella slowly came inside, shutting the door soundly behind her. 

“Did my mother ask you to make sure I haven’t flung myself off the balcony?” You dust away any crumbs from your pull over as you stare out the window. 

“I’m making sure you didn’t.” 

Your head snapped over at the familiar voice only to see Lily standing at the foot of your bed, looking out of place with her bright purple dress. She looked like she was teetering back and forth between staying out and sprinting away, and you admired her courage after how many times you’ve turned down her offer. 

You glared at Ella but she was no longer there, leaving you and Lily alone. 

“You’re just in time then.” You say blandly, standing up from your bed as you make the covers and are careful not to come too close to her. She seemed to notice. 

“We can’t go about this forever,” she stated, rounding the corner of your bed as she took three steps forward while you took one back, not wanting to be cornered again the way you were that night, “This silent treatment is killing me.”

“Then die,” you don’t mean it and she knows it, but her face wobbles for a second and you watch in horror as tears spring to Lily's eyes. 

The last time Lily cried the two of you were fifteen and her brothers had effectively ruined the singular dress she had actually been looking forward to wearing by staining it with ink. You spent at least an hour calling her down and trying to rationalize with her until you finally gave up and offered to cut holes in all of their suits. 

You’re not sure you could do that now. 

“I’m sorry!” She sprung herself forward at you with full throttle as she hugged you tightly, “You’re right! There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic!” You don’t know what to do as you stand there in shock so you awkwardly pat her back, her long white hair never loose so you’ve never really seen it to its full extent. 

“My brother and I have been at war with each other trying to put the blame on somebody else but I’m sorry! You of all people deserve to find love,” she looks up and her eyes just look like oceans and it’s unfair how pretty she looks when she cries because you just look like a mess, “Please, please forgive me.”

You look as she refuses to pull away from you, clutching desperately onto the thin fabric of your nightgown that your mother reprimanded you for not getting out of, and slowly feel your hands circle around her back as you pull her into a hug. 

“Honestly,” you shake your head as she looks up at you, cheeks rosy with streaks of tears and her lip wobbles violently, “I’m probably going to be on that pact ten years from now. But I just-”

“Want to try!” She finished your sentence for you, something the two of you always prided in being able to do, “and that’s respectable too!”

You try not to smile but the corners of your lips tug upwards as you nod, Lily waiting with bated breath as she scanned your reaction. 

“Don’t ever treat me like that again, you hear me?” 

She vehemently nods, pulling away as she wipes at her eyes, holding out her oinks finger as she waits for you to latch on. Sure, it was a childish way of making a promise, but Lily was never the serious sort of person. If anything, this is the most you’ve ever seen her apologize about something. 

“I promise with the depths of my soul. If I do, brand me with an iron.” Your eyes widen as you go to disagree but she won’t take it. 

“I swear.” She repeats gravely. 

You look at her pinky for another second before you bring yours up, not believing that this is still how the two of you go about making amends. 

“Alright then,” you heave a sigh, “I forgive you.”

Her face breaks into a wide and toothy smile as she pulls you in for a tighter hug, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs as she pulls back away. 

“You’ll never regret this, I swear,” she looked radiant, but quickly stopped as she looked down at the ground, trying to gather her thoughts on how to break the news to you, “Now, be prepared for another one.” 

You blink slowly, brows furrowed in confusion as you lean on your bedpost, arms crossing as your lips purse. 

“What?” 

She almost looks ashamed again, looking at the clock on your wall. 

“My mother’s invited you over for dinner. Get ready to see the other Gojo.”

---

Your mother, as difficult as she was to deal with at most times, somehow understood the concept of showing off through a good wardrobe. 

You wouldn’t put any bets on the fact that if your outfits were significantly better you might have had at least one man approach you in all these years, but it certainly could have been a possibility. 

The cut was lower than all your normal dress, and with the help of your corset, pushed the sisters up a considerable amount. 

The color was the most flattering you’ve ever seen, and through the utilization of crystals and diamonds encrusted in the fabric itself, it shined perfectly when the light hit it. 

For the first time, you were glad your mother picked out your outfit. 

Unfortunately, the outfit gave you only so much confidence. When you walked into the Gojo estate, thankfully with Lily on your side, all the memories from that night came flooding back and your stomach flipped upside down. 

You were glad that Lily was seated next to you at the dinner table as well, but it didn’t help that Satoru was seated in front of you, glaring daggers into your face as you tried to avoid looking at him. 

“Now, you didn’t tell me about your plans for the next year, with the season already coming to an end.” Their mother, bless her heart, asked as she loaded some peas into her fork, looking at you with her kind eyes as you struggled to think of a good enough answer. 

“I’m planning on taking a marriage offer up, actually,” you say, trying not to look at Lily for you knew she was already giggling.

In the past five hours, you filled her in on everything, and she decided the best way to get Satoru to say something was if you went with the idea. 

“Oh?” You watched as she perked up in interest, as did the rest of the Gojo family. An offer? 

“Yes,” you nodded, “Lord Cornwallis, actually, if you’ve heard of him?” 

Lily was gleaming as she saw her brother clench his jaw as he stared at the side of your face that was still looking at their mother. 

“L-lord Cornwallis?” You felt bad for lying to her, but you could just come back later and say you’ve changed your mind, “He must be at least-”

“Ninety-nine?” You answered for her as her cheek warmed, “Some say he’s just in his prime, yes.” 

She drank some of her wine. 

“Isn’t that desperate?” Satoru finally said and you heard a loud clatter from the end of the table as their mother angrily sat her cup down, glaring at her son. 

“Satoru!” She exclaimed, the rest of the girls and boys watching in tense silence as they waited for your reply. 

“It’s alright,” you shrugged, fiddling with the bracelet on your wrist, “And yes, it could come off as desperate. However, I would rather go to a man who finds no problem in courting me rather than somebody who’d tell the whole world just how much it would disgust him to be seen with me.”

You could swear you heard a tooth crack. 

“I’m sorry, am I missing something-” One of the brothers piped up but Satoru acted as if he hadn’t heard him. 

“Well if that man were drunk out of his wits-”

“Then he let his sober thoughts reign free.” You finish for him, nostrils flaring as Satoru twisted the ring on his forefinger back and forth. 

“Again, Miss Gojo, I’m simply thinking over his offer.” You finish, seeing how she could barely take her eyes off of her son as she blinked towards you, giving a shaky smile as she nodded. 

“Of course, there’s no…no problem in that.” She swallowed uncomfortably, as did everybody else. You peeked over at Lily to find her just as you suspected, beaming with silent joy. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, I think my dress has come a bit undone. I’m going to call for somebody to fix it.” You say, excusing yourself as you try to go ahead with the plan you had set in the first place. 

“Make him mad, really mad. Say something about Cornwallis, he despises him,” Lily muttered, sitting cross-legged on your bed as she urged you to listen to her directions, “Then excuse yourself. Say you’ve got to use the privy or something, doesn’t matter.”

You nodded, listening intently as she laid it on thick for what she had been picking up on for the past couple of days. 

“Go upstairs and find his room, you know where it is. Be quick with it too, but there’s this box on his desk that’s full of letters. I swear on my Austen collection that there is a letter with your name on it.”

You felt your heart tumble. 

“Are you sure?” You asked, glancing at the clock to make sure you wouldn’t be late to dinner. 

“Positive. And I’d get it if I could, but he’s so secretive with his room that this is probably the one time it’s going to be unlocked. He’d never suspect anybody going snooping at this hour.”

You grinned, knowing that if you finally got that little something to use against him, he’d have no choice but to grovel at your feet for the rest of his life. 

You quickly scampered up the stairs, telling one of their mates that you’d be able to fix your dress on your own and that you’d be stashed away in Lily's room for the time being, and mentally times yourself as you quickly paced through the halls, looking for the familiar dark oak that would be Satoru’s room. 

Just when you were about to get lost in their maze of a house, you stopped triumphantly behind the last door at the end of the hall, staring deeply at it as you weighed your options. 

You quickly caved, slowly reaching out to the doorknob to see if it was locked. 

It swung open, and you let out a sigh of relief and looked around a final time to make sure that nobody had followed you before you fully let yourself inside. 

It was dark, and you left the door slightly open so that the light from the halls could sleep in a bit, and you went to work on locating the box on his desk that Lily had described to you. 

You squint your eyes, wincing as you bumped into furniture as you made your way to the corner of the large room, blindly reaching and grabbing for anything on the mahogany desk that would resemble a box. 

You let out a sound of triumph as you found a square-shaped glass-feeling thing filled to the brim with papers, holding it upwards to the sliver of light as you quickly ran through the letters with your fingers and you tried to find one with your name on it. 

They seemed like they were all unsent, with many of them labeled to his mother or siblings, and a few to his friends, but you didn’t find any of them labeled to you, and you quickly felt your heart and hopes sink. This was taking far too long.

Just as you were about to give up, you passed a smaller shaped letter with cursive that looked familiar, in the sense that you had seen it addressed before, and pulled it out only to see your name staring back at you. 

A part of you almost wanted to sink into the chair behind the desk, your heart beating rapidly in the small vastness of your ribcage as you held it back up to the light, seeing a note tucked neatly away through the transparency of the envelope. 

Your nimble fingers went to rip the seal of wax off, but stopped as the door swung open. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Satoru stood at the doorway, blocking the rest of the light as his shadow cast over you. 

You dropped the letter, quickly hiding it behind your back as he stepped in, getting closer to you as you abruptly stood up, trying to come up with a feasible lie as you rounded away from his desk, trying to get away from him and his massive build. 

“Oh?” You looked around as if suddenly realizing this wasn’t the place you were supposed to be, “Is this not Lily’s room? Silly me, I couldn’t make it out in the dark. I’ll be leaving now if you’ll excuse me…” You turned around, brushing past him but stopping when you felt his long fingers circle your wrist, turning you around as his eyes squinted. 

“Bullshit,” you flinched, never having heard him curse before as his hands felt around yours, finding the letter you were doing a terrible job of hiding, “You know this house better than your own. Why the hell are you in my room?” 

You didn’t say anything as he brought your hand out from behind your back, opening up your closed fist with much ease to reveal the crumpled-up envelope. Your chest heaved up and down, waiting with bated breath as he stared silently at the letter. You balled your fists back up again, stepping away from him as he followed you quickly in your footsteps. 

“Give that to me y/n,” his voice was low and commanding, unlike anything you’ve ever heard before, and if you weren't in your rebellious mood (and somewhat in your independent, not totally in-love-with-him mood) you would have caved, but you shook your head, looking behind you as to make sure you didn’t back into his bed frame. 

“It’s got my name on it.” You argued, knowing it was a terrible excuse, and you watched him chuckle darkly, knowing that you had no good reason for being in his room and sifting through his letters. 

“And yet it was in my room, in my letterbox, on my desk.” He snapped, eyes a deep blue and different from the usual lightness they carried. He wasn’t joking and he wasn’t lying, he needed that letter back. 

Which just made you want it even more. 

You didn’t know what to do, so the only logical thing in your sporadic mind was to shove it down your dress, hiding it in your chest as Satoru watched your movements like a hawk, not saying anything as you defiantly showed him your now empty hands. 

“Get it now Satoru,” you challenged him, not realizing you had backed up into the wall until your head lightly bounced off from it, wincing at the sting as you looked back behind you. 

He didn’t say anything, and it seemed like his mind was running as quickly as it could as he tried to deal with whatever it was you were doing. Instead, he just three more languid steps forward, nearly face to face with you as he stared down at you, eyes darting from yours to your lips and chest. 

Under any other circumstances, you would have felt like shedding your clothes off from how heated you felt under his gaze. Here, your only resort was to keep them on, to see what was so important about that letter. 

“I came to find you to apologize,” his voice is low and calm, his cool breath hitting your cheek as you struggle to keep your composure, “To be civil. To tell you that I didn’t mean anything I said that night.” 

Despite your mixed emotions, you felt your brows furrow at his select choice of words. 

“Are you here to tell me now that you actually meant every word?” You couldn’t stop the words as they tumbled out of your mouth, knowing that the answer would probably send you into a state you could never get out of as the person you’ve loved for the majority of your life confirms your biggest fears.

But shockingly, he just shakes his head, his lips pink and plush and you’ve never found yourself focusing on them more than you are now. 

If only you knew that he felt the same as he looked at you. 

“No,” he stepped closer, if possible, but still had room to shove him away. But you didn’t, not now, you couldn’t, didn’t want to as his nose nudged yours a bit, your lashes fluttering against your cheek as your lips parted, waiting for him to do something, 

“I’ll show you that I didn’t mean them.”

You couldn’t breathe, your lungs contracting as his face fell towards yours, your lips meeting ever so slowly as they finally landed on yours, soft and somehow delicate as they pushed against yours, finalizing the kiss as he began to move them. 

You’ve never kissed anybody before, often dreaming about it as you lay in bed hopelessly in love, but never thought you’d be here from the man you’ve imagined on the other side doing it with him. 

He moved slowly as if he knew that this was your first time, and you didn’t know how to handle your emotions as he angled his chin to get closer to you, his lips capturing you in such a heated and feverish pace that you knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep tonight as you thought back on it. 

His hands slowly came up to your waist, tugging you flush against his body as your hands somehow found their way behind his neck, finger curling into his long strands of arctic white as he groaned against you when you tugged a bit, the sound coming from deep within his chest. 

You were impatient, always have been, and it probably took him a little bit by surprise as you quickened the pace, hungry after so many years of starving for this as you pushed against him for more fervor, feeling him smile slightly against your lips as he met you in the middle, fingers digging into the fabric of your dress as you whined slightly as the feeling. 

He nipped at your lips, his tongue poking out from in between yours, and you absentmindedly opened your mouth a little bit to make room for him, heart and mind working in tandem as he brought up a hand to cradle the back of your head, making sure it didn’t hit the wall as he pushed against you. 

It was messy and hurried, and for once, it felt as if he felt the same you were feeling. As if he too wanted this, needed this more than air itself, and that thought alone made your mind stop functioning. 

Your hands moved from his neck to his chest, fingers clutching onto the satin fabric of his suit, wrinkling the fabric as your noses bumped against each other, sheer desperation showing from the two of you. 

“Viscount Gojo?” 

The two of you almost jumped at the knock that sounded from the door. 

“Your mother is asking where you are. She’s worried about the lady as well,” Fred didn’t peek his head in, and for that you were grateful. You were sure you looked like a total mess at the moment, but Satoru spoke, glancing at the door as he took a deep breath, almost as if it was his first time breathing in a couple of minutes. 

“Tell her that we’re working things out. It’ll take a bit more time.” His voice sounded steady enough, but from where you were standing you could see how swollen his lips were, the fact that they were red and glistening with sweat. His hand on your waist tightened as if he didn’t want to let you go, and your hand lay flat against his chest.

“Of course,” Fred answered, “Take your time.” He shut the door completely, and the two of you waited until you heard his footsteps becoming softer and softer until you could no longer hear them. 

You waited, looking in the direction for another second before you looked up at him only to see his eyes gauging yours for a reaction, somehow a storm going on behind them as he battled twenty different emotions. 

“I’m still hurt Satoru,” you whisper, his eyes never changing but his shoulders tense a bit as you drop your hands away from him, as if you were suddenly coming to your senses and realizing what you had just done, “I can't forgive you this easily.”

You don’t know how to handle your feelings sometimes, and sometimes they catch up to you later than they should. You could still hear his words from that night ringing around your mind and nothing was stopping it no matter how hard you tried. 

“Come get the letter when you’re ready to apologize with more than just your lips.” 

You look back up at him one more time before you push away, feeling him lightly move away from you to give you space as you smooth out the front of your dress, touching your face to make sure that none of the makeup and powder that was swiped against your face wasn’t wrecked as you left. 

You don’t look back as you left him silently in his room, shutting the door behind you as you stopped, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves as you went back down to dinner. 

---

A week passed since your night with Satoru, and you’ve come to terms with the fact that he regrets it. 

It hurts, it hurts even more when you convince yourself that he probably was trying to take pity on you and test how true his old words were, but you couldn’t spiral, knowing that it would cause even more turmoil. 

Lily came by regardless, under the impression that you and her brother made up and are on better terms, and you're in no rush to tell her the truth of what happened. 

She asked about the note, but you insisted that you couldn’t find it. She grumbled that he probably threw it away after she pestered him constantly about it. 

“What about Lord Balfour?” She was sprawled out on your bed, her legs crossed resting it up against the wall with her head at the opposite end, looking on a piece of parchment in which she had gone around asking for men looking for marriage (and a true romantic connection, she stressed). 

“Hm, too bald,” you said, sitting in your vanity, washing off the rest of the powder on your face as you dipped the soft cotton cloth back into the pitcher of water as you looked at her through the mirror, “Isn’t he a year younger than us?”

She pouted as she thought, looking back to her list as she crossed off that name. 

“Count Alexei?” She seemed to like this one and you set your towel down, trying to place a face to the name. 

“Isn’t he from Russia? Wouldn’t it be difficult for him to come back and forth?”  You asked and she nodded, although she seemed more sad that you didn’t want him. 

“Have you just gone around the ton asking if anybody’s looking for marriage?” You teased and she turned around, sitting up as she wiped the hair out of her face. 

“I take your journey to find true love very serious,” she argued and you snorted, knowing that it was a kid if that and the fact that she liked judging the men of the higher class, “Are you complaining?”

“No, of course not.” You turn around from your chair as you face her, urging her to continue. 

“Duke Cambell?” She looked up from the list with a raised brow, only to find you looking the same, taking more time to consider the name. 

“He explicitly stated he’d consider marriage? With me?” You tilt your head to the side. Surely it would be too good to be true. He wasn’t too pretty, nobody was like Satoru, but he wasn’t that bad to look at either. 

“He seemed quite eager about it, actually.” She said, and you smiled a bit, feeling like a silly schoolgirl with the way you ducked your head. 

“He’s a bit shy, isn’t he?” You said with a little giggle and she snorted, nodding as she circled his name and put a question mark next to it. 

“Just means he’s more apt to moan louder,” she said blandly and your mouth dropped, burrowing your face in your hands at her very open nature. Even after ten years it sometimes caught you off guard. 

“Lily!” You shouted, trying to hold in your laugh, and she just looked at you as if you should have expected this as she rose from your bed, stretching her arms above her head as she let out a frantic yawn. 

The sun had already set and she knew her mother would be expecting her to arrive soon, and you went to stand but stopped you. 

“No need to stand, I’ll bid farewell from here.” 

You rolled your eyes at her dramatics, picking up the cloth again as you dabbed at your cheeks. 

“I assume you’ll be here tomorrow?” Crossing your legs as she shrugged as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. 

“Yes. In fact, I’ll leave this prized list with you so that you can mull it over,” she walked over a bit and set it down on the top of your vanity, looking at you as she put a solemn hand on your shoulder, “Do think over Count Alexis. He is rather dreamy.” 

You chuckled, waving goodbye to her as she left the door with a litter thud, blowing kisses as you snorted at her exaggerated act, turning back around to your mirror as you wiped away the remaining bits of your makeup. 

You were already in your dressing gown, the material soft and light on your skin as you set the cloth back down, drying your face off with another one as you got ready to sleep. 

With meticulous care you took your earrings off and began to work on your necklace but struggled with the finicky clasp, your thumb slipping just as you were about to get it. You let out a quick groan of frustration, shutting your eyes as you tried not to lose your temper over a necklace.

“Do you need help with that?” 

You were getting better at controlling your reactions, but your eyes snapped over to the top of your mirror as he stood there, shutting the door behind him. Your hands fell to your lap as you silently seethed. 

Ella was never going to hear the end of it. 

You said nothing and he quietly walked over to where you sat with your back to him, opting to look at him through your mirror as his slender fingers slowly came up to your neck. 

“I’m getting rid of my maid.” You mutter eyes dropped to your lap as you try to control your breath as his fingertips touch your delicate skin, gingerly getting to work of undoing the clasp. He didn’t say anything and the only sound that filled the room was your slow little puffs of air, trying to get your pulse to stop from doing the strange rhythmic beating it always did when you were around him, as if he somehow became the conductor of your heart. 

You heard a small click and the necklace became undone, and he gathered it in his palm as he set it down next to your little trinkets, dropping his hands from your shoulder as his cerulean eyes found yours once again, and you looked away, his deep stare burning through yours. 

“Don’t,” his voice came out rough as if he hadn’t made much use of it for a while, “She’s always turned me away when I came asking for you. I weasled my way through her right now, almost blew my cover when Lily was leaving.” 

Oh.

“I’m over it.” No, you weren’t, but you wouldn’t admit that out loud.

You opened up the drawer to the left of you, moving some little cases of jewelry around as you found the letter you had hidden away as you brought it out, setting it on the desk as you stood from your chair, pushing it back in as you faced him, “Take it. I didn’t read it.” Despite how much you wanted to, you just couldn’t bring yourself to stoop that low and read through something he didn’t want you to see. 

He glanced over at the letter and then at you, taking the letter with careful movements as he found the letter opener scattered on your desk, ripping through the wax as he opened it up, passing the envelope back to you. 

“Read it.” 

You certainly weren’t expecting that. 

“What?” You couldn’t blink, looking at his outstretched hand that held the very thing that had been bothering you as if it was nothing, “I don’t-” 

“Go on,” he urged quietly, his voice caught in the back of his throat, “Read it out loud. Please.” 

You looked at him once more to make sure he wasn’t going crazy before you gently took it from his hands, your fingers brushing past each other as you opened it up, taking out the letter as you unfolded it, taking a deep breath as you prepared yourself for the worst. 

“I’m terrible at writing letters, you should know,” you start, squinting as you move closer to your candle so that you can read it better, “And you should know that I’ve written this twenty other times. I have-

“Twenty balled-up pieces of paper next to me,” Satoru finished the sentence, not looking at the letter once as he read it from memory, “If only you could see the mess,” he paused, his hands shaking a bit as he continued, “I apologize for not sending as many letters to you as I should, but aside from my travels which have proven to do nothing other than make me regret leaving, I only have one other thing left to tell you. 

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I thought that it would do me some good to leave and get some time to think about how bad it would be if I said out loud that I was in love with the girl who’s my sister's best friend, but I’ve simply gone mad over needing to see you again. I’m in Paris, which is coincidentally the city of love but I’ve grown bitter and resentful over the fact that the woman I love is an ocean away from me. I can’t do it anymore. No, scratch that, no, I can’t do this other letter…” 

“...It’s too pathetic. You’re worth more than this.” You concluded, reading along because you couldn’t be yourself to look up at him, knowing that you simply would break apart and couldn’t take it as you heard the three words you’ve wanted to hear from the man that you never thought would say them. 

You looked at the paper, eyes scanning each word again as you let out a heavy sigh, feeling like you were living in a dream that was wrapping its arms slowly around you and whisking you away. 

“That night, I projected. I don’t know why I said what I said, I just know that thinking it over told me everything I needed to know and I acted like a coward and a fool and I hurt you when really, I love you. I love you, I’ve never stopped. I burn for you, and I always will.” He whispered, his eyes wet with unshed tears as he cleared his throat, wiping at his nose as he sniffled. 

You’ve never seen him like this, exposed and raw. But you knew that you mirrored his emotions, knew that you were in the same state that he was for he carefully brought his hand up to your cheek, wiping a tear away as he cupped your face in his hands. 

“I know that it would be too much to ask for your forgiveness, but please, I don’t know how much longer I can go without at least seeing your face, hearing your voice, your laugh, you’re kind, kind heart.” His hands trailed down your face, down your arms, and your waist, settling on your hips as he ducked his head downward, tears sliding down the curve of his nose as he did something unexpected. 

The Viscount Gojo Satoru began to kneel. 

You froze, looking down in shock as he bowed his head in shame and apology. 

“‘Toru, please, I,” your voice broke and you quickly wiped your tears away, taking his hands that were sprawled out across your waist as you held them, not knowing how to handle this display of vulnerability as you gently made him look up at you, “Just tell me one thing.” 

His thumb caressed the back of your hand, giving a soft nod as he whispered; “anything,” and his hand moved up your waist, holding your back as your hands unknowingly went to his hair, moving it away from his face as your fingers twirled and played with his white strands, basking in the sense of having him at his knees for you. 

“Why did you wait so long to come back?” Your voice is barely audible as it cracks, a year of missing him and ten years of longing for him coming out as he shakes his head, almost as if he was more remorseful about it than you could ever imagine, and he shifted so that he wasn’t resting on his ankles anymore, digging deep into his pocket as he brought out a little box. 

“I went back to Japan. I was trying to find this little ring my father gave my mother back when he started to pine after her,” he opened up the box, a delicately cut blue diamond rind resting on a thin gold band stared back at you, shining in the candlelight, “I wanted to give it to you as a promise…” and he trailed off, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he suddenly became a bit embarrassed, pocketing the box again as he looked back up at you. 

“What was the promise?” You can barely hear your words over the thumping of your heart. 

He swallows, slowly coming to standing back up, never losing his hold on you, clutching onto your thin nightgown as if it was the only thing grounding him to reality. 

“That I’d marry you one day.” He whispered back, his voice hushed as if he didn’t want them to escape the vicinity of your room, this shared space between the two of you in which you stripped each other bare to the soul, only the find that they longed to be in each other's place even when they were miles apart. 

Just as he did so many nights ago, he leaned closer to you, giving you time and space to push him away, to yell, to scream, but you didn’t, nudging his nose with yours as your lips found each other, this time quick and rough and not wanting to be patient because there was no room for such a thing. 

He let out a small groan as you tugged on the hairs at the back of his nape, pushing you further down until your back hit one of your windows, feeling the cool night air from the glass as it traveled through the thin cotton of your slip

It seemed like something in him was finally let go, and you as well, and everything came tumbling down in the best way possible. 

It was so messy and rushed and desperate that you felt like you were going to faint, the air from your lungs being stolen by his hungry and greedy lips as he pushed back roughly against you, needing to taste you, feel you, or else he simply wouldn’t make it. 

Satoru tapped the back of your thighs, urging you to wrap your legs around his torso as you pulled away slightly, questioning him as he scoffed at your doubt. 

“I spent a year getting bigger and stronger for you,” he murmurs against your lips, “and the first thing you said when you saw me was oh. Come on,” he nipped at your lips, his boyish and charming smile growing when you whimpered, “Test me out.” 

You gave in, standing on your toes as you did what he asked, and you let out a little laugh of surprise at how he wasted no time wrapping his arms tightly around your waist as he smirked, going away from the ball as he led you to your bed, basking in the sound of your twinkling laughter as you admired him in all his glory. 

“I shouldn’t have doubted you,” you tease and he snorts, fixing your gown as he hovers above you. He was huge, so much bigger than you anticipated in your imagination, but it was so much better than you ever could have thought. 

“I’d never lie to you,” he promised, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips that left you breathless as he continued downwards, pressing kisses down your jaw, and your neck, spending time as he sucked at one of your vital points, enjoying the way you sounded like you had run a marathon. 

He looks stunning here; his lips look bruised and swollen, pink and wet with spit. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of your body, and if you weren’t crazy about how he looked at you, you would’ve shielded yourself away in embarrassment. 

But he didn’t give you any time to think it over, pushing past your loose nightgown as he pressed delicate pecks to your shoulders and upper chest region, looking up at you to make sure it was okay to continue. 

You quickly nodded, eager to see what he was going to do. 

“Mind if I take this off?” He asks, tugging at the ends of it as you look at him from beneath your lashes, trying to feel indifferent as you shrug, but the way you smile giddily gives away just how badly you want him to. 

“I wouldn’t mind.” You help him move it upwards, your arms coming out from the sleeves as the chilly air hits your naked skin, and you suddenly realize just how out in the open you are compared to him. 

Out of second nature, you go to cover your chest but he tsks, gently pushing your hands away as he eyes your breasts, looking like he had just come back from staring at the sistine chapel with the way he looks at you. 

Your nipples harden from how cold it was, and he slowly dips his head down to one of your tits, kissing the soft and supple skin as he inches closer to your bud, finally latching his mouth onto it as you throw your head back, arching your back into his lips as he sucks like his life depends on it. 

“S-shit, ‘Toru, so good,” you mewl, wrapping your hands around his neck as he flattens his tongue against your nipple, his teeth grazing the sensitive area as you whine even louder, not seeming to care if anybody outside your door could hear. 

His other hand lathes onto your other one, not wanting to leave her unattended as he pinches your nipple between his two fingers, twisting it just enough to make you shut your eyes at how good the attention feels. 

“Let me hear you,” he groans into your skin, looking up at you as you try to cover up your mouth with your hand, “I’ll stop if you cover up that pretty mouth of yours.” 

You simply nod, leaving your shaky hand to grip your bed sheets as he switches his mouth and hand with each other, giving you different sensations to wrap your hands around as you feel a deep part of your pulse, needing more of him. 

“‘Toru, please,” your voice comes out shaky as he releases your tit with a pop, his hands going down to hold onto your hips as you bring his chin up for another kiss of swapping spit with him, growing to appreciate the lewdness of it all as you lay feather light kisses on his jawline, feeling him shudder beneath you, “Wan’ more.” 

At any other time, he would have drawn this out, would have teased and prodded at you to use your words, to tell him where you needed him most, but he couldn’t wait with you, wanting to have a taste of you himself. 

So his wolfish grin comes back, his hand traveling down your stomach, stopping just above your mound as he cocks a brow at the way you seem to grow impatient, reaching the place you seemed to have in mind. 

“Here?” He asked quietly, his pointer finger moving to find your clit as you let out a quiet gasp, his expert fingers having nothing on your inexperienced ones. Sure you’ve touched yourself deep into the night when you made sure everybody was asleep, but it never felt like this. 

You couldn’t speak, so you nodded again, and that seemed to be good enough for Satoru as his finger moved down to your lips, a deep groan coming from within his chest as he felt how wet you were, and prodded his finger at your tight walls, slowly pushing past them as he seemed to be in a trance. 

You sucked him in so delightfully, pulsing against his as your slick stained his finger, making it easier for him to fuck you with a little bit more pace, careful not to hurt you, as he brought it back up to circle at your clit, trying to find what places you liked to be teased most. 

“O-oh my god,” your eyes rolled back in your head as his long find pushed back against your gummy walls, his other thumb finding your nub as you whined even louder, not used to feeling this good, spreading your legs out even further as you tried to make room for him. 

“There you go, s’perfect,” he said against your skin, dipping down as he moved a hand to keep your thighs further apart, “Mind if I have a taste?” And you were in another dimension, just cradling his neck as you pushed him to go further. 

He chuckled darkly, nearly going insane as he neared your glistening pussy, eyes growing dark as he moved his fingers away so that his tongue could have its turn, and you swore you almost came right there. 

He licked gingerly, savoring you first as he groaned, his thumb never giving up on circling and massaging your clit, but he began to eat you out as his life depended on it, licking and sucking like you were his last meal. 

“‘Toru, ‘Toru, fuck!” You screamed, biting your lip harshly as you kept your finger tight around his hair, “Don’t stop, please!” 

“F-fuck,” he murmured, coming up for a quick breath as he looked at you from his long white lashes, “Fucking kill me if I ever stop, okay?” 

He goes back in with the same amount of fervor, your chest moving up and down as you arch into his mouth, your jaw going slack as you quickly feel that rope in your stomach tightening, embarrassed at coming so early but knowing that there was no way you could stop yourself with the way he fingered you out at the same time he ate you out. 

“I’m yours,” he said against your skin, “I’ll always be yours.” It was out of place, but it seemed like he was branding it into your skin so that everybody else knew, knew that he belonged solely to you.

It was too much, and you felt like you were slowly losing your ability to think, talk, or do anything, and the only thing you could feel was him, and you felt it all coming to a crescendo as his mouth latched onto your clit, letting it all go as you came into his mouth. 

“‘M c-coming, mmmm fuck!” You couldn’t even believe the sounds you were making as you clenched around his finger, your essence coating his chin and hand as your legs were trembling, glad that he held a stable hand on your waist. 

You saw white for a couple of seconds, taking even longer to catch your breath, your tits rising and falling with each heave, and you suddenly felt like you came back down to earth, peeking out from an eye to see Satoru smiling down at you, his face soft and you whined in shock at what just happened, hiding your face into one of your pillows as he laughed lowly, the sound dripping down your ears like warm honey. 

“You just came around me, no need to be modest now.” He gently moved your face away from the sanctuary of your pillow so that you could look at him again, and he leaned down, pressing one final kiss to your lips, letting you taste yourself on him as you let out a muffled moan. 

“How do you feel?” He asked as he pulled away, sitting on his haunches, letting you drape the blanket around your sweaty chest as you tried to sit up, shaking a bit as you tried to recover from your mind-breaking orgasm. 

“Good,” you say groggily, wiping at your eyes as you give him a lazy, languid smile, “Really good.” 

“Yeah?” He asks, chuckling as you nod, finding his hands as you play with his long fingers, and he lets you watch as you let them entangle with each other, somehow feeling more connected through this than the previous activity as you slowly pull him back down towards you, wanting nothing more than to curl into his chest. 

“Give me a second love,” he wanted the same thing, but he pulled away, “Let me clean you up.” 

You didn’t fight it and let him go, watching as he found the pitcher of water on your desk as he found a clean rag and wet it, coming back to your bed until his eyes caught something under the sheets. 

He picked it up, reading it as he sat down next to you, running the cold towel across your thighs as you let out a little whimper at the temperature. He pressed an apologetic kiss to your forehead as he turned the paper around in silent questioning. 

Your eyes widened, trying to take it away but he held it above your head. If you had more fight in you, you might have wrestled for it, but you gave up, letting him clean you up as he tried not to laugh at how measly it was. 

“I doubt Cambell would know how to make you come.” He finally says, throwing the rag away somewhere as you groan, pushing his face slowly away as you try to fight the giddy laugh that was going to bubble its way from your chest. 

“Stop! Lily was just trying to help!” You argue and he waves his hands, loosening the buttons of his tunic as he crawls in next to you, pulling you flush against him as he kisses the tip of your nose. 

“It’s fine love,” he nestles his nose in your hairline, smiling when you hitch a leg over his, “You’re mine now.” 

You look up at him, tracing over his features with the light touch of your fingertips as he leans into your warmth. 

“Do you promise?” 

He gives a single nod, sliding the delicate ring over your finger, and closes his hand around yours. 

“Promise.” 

[dragon-kazansky]

Bridgerton shade of blue

Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader

The Viscount is set on finding a wife this season, and you are trying again for your second season. While Anthony is dealing with trials between Edwina and Kate Sharma, you are dealing with trials of your own. Benedict Bridgerton is ever present in your life, but your pursuit to find a husband must come first. Society is ever so exhausting.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Season Two

Chapter Twenty - The sisters

You step out of the carriage and look around you. The first ball of the season was always a grand affair. This one in particular as the queen had not yet chosen a diamond.

Last season, Lady Whistledown called Daphne Bridgerton a diamond of the first water, which made her stand out in the ton. Now, the queen was expected to choose a diamond every season. One lucky debutant would sparkle among all the others.

You take your mother's arm and head inside. Many were already present. Lots of lovely young ladies looking for partners for the evening. Your mother leaves your aide to go speak to some of the other mama's.

You stand alone near the entrance and look around. You couldn't spot anyone you knew. You decide to take a walk around the room.

Nerves were setting in. It was strange. You felt like you were doing all of this for the first time again. A few gentlemen glance at you as you pass by. You smile. They smile back. You keep walking.

As you make a turn about the room, you spot the Bridgertons arriving. You see Eloise dressed in a beautiful gown, yet looking uncomfortable. Violet looks very proud and excited. Then there's Benedict. Handsome and smiley.

You move quickly out of sight to avoid him. The way he had sketched you yesterday and what he had said had caused butterflies to rise in your stomach. You're not sure what to make of him right now.

While you try hard to avoid the gaze of the Bridgerton family, you do not escape the sight of Lady Danbury. As she sees you loitering around corners, she calls your name. Startled, you turn quickly in her direction. With a beck of her finger, you make your way over to her.

"Lady Danbury."

"Allow me to introduce you to my guests this season. Lady Mary Sharma and her daughters. Miss Kathani Sharma and Miss Edwina Sharma."

"Delighted," you smile at them.

Mary smiles politely at you. Her daughters do, too. Edwina, in particular, shares a striking resemblance to her mother. You take a look at the two sisters. Kathani is taller than Edwina, who is rather petite. Both of them have eye that sparkle in the lights of the ballroom. Their smiles are kind, though you sense a little nervousness from Edwina.

"A pleasure. You must call me Kate," the eldest of the two says, stepping forward ro greet you properly.

"Kate. I am looking for friends this season, I would be delighted to help make you both feel more comfortable this season if Lady Danbury agrees?"

Lady Danbury gives you a nod with an amused glint in her eye.

"I would be delighted. As would my sister, I'm sure." Kate turns to look at Edwina.

"Very much so." Edwina smiles.

Edwina's voice is higher than Kate's. She speaks softer, too. There are clear differences between them, but at the same time they are rather alike.

You smile at them both.

Lady Danbury comes up beside you and leans in rather close. "Avoiding your friends?"

"Not exactly."

"No? It looked to me like you were hiding." She chuckles.

"I was merely taking some time to myself. I need to get back into this. Last year did not quite go to plan." You avoid looking at her.

"Good things come to those who wait. I recommend branching out and growing your social circle. Miss Penelope Featherington could perhaps use another friend."

You look in the direction Lady Danbury is looking. Penelope stands among mamas gossiping, no doubt. You get the hint and make your way over there, hoping to spend time with the Sharma sisters again soon.

Perhaps this year is, in fact, a good time to make mkre friends. It gives you an excuse to avoid Benedict for a while, too.

"Penelope," you greet her softly.

"Oh, hello." She smiles shyly.

"May I keep you company a while?" You ask.

"Would you not prefer being among the others?" She asks in return.

You glance around the room and then back at her. "For tonight, no. I think I would much prefer to be a wallflower."

Penelope smiles slightly.

"How are you?"

"I am well." She nods. "Just... biding my time, I suppose."

The truth was that Penelope was watching and listening. Though she couldn't quite tell you that, or for what purpose. You would never believe her anyway.

"Is that Lady Mary Sheffield Sharma?" Portia asks, watching the Sharma family walk by. Kate smiles at you as she passes. You smile back at her. "I can't believe she would show her face here again," Portia continued.

"A scandal, mama?" Cressida asks her mother.

"Lady Mary was the incomparable of our season, until she fell in love with and married some kind of clerk, I hear. The two of them absconded to India, thereafter."

"A maharajah I would have understood, but the man was no more than a common worker who already had a child." One of the other mamas chimed in.

"That must be her. The older one," Portia points out toward Kate. You look at her from beside Penelope. There was no denying Kate was gorgeous.

"Lady Mary's parents, the Sheffields, never lived down the shame, did they?"

"Too ashamed to show their faces in London."

"If only every family could be as respectable as ours. Yes, Lady Featherington?" Lady Cowper chuckles softly.

You don't see Portia's response, too focused on watching Kate and Edwina.

You turn to Penelope. "No luck for you either?" You ask softly.

"Hm? Oh. No..." Penelope looks down shyly. "Excuse me." She leaves your side and walks away. You sigh softly. You ignore the chuckle of Cressida behind you and walk off in the other direction.

You have so far managed to successfully dodge Benedict, and for that you feel great relief. He must be preoccupied elsewhere. As you walk about the room you spot Edwina being asked to dance by Lord Corning. He's a tall handsome fellow with a good background. Edwina dances elegantly with him.

"Do you know him?"

You turn to find Kate looking at you. You smile and shakes your head. "Not personally. I know of him. He's very kind."

Kate watches her sister quietly.

"Are you not dancing?" You ask.

"I am here for my sister. Hers is the only match I care about. What about you?" She asks in return.

"Oh, no. I don't think I fit into society. It's too busy, too wanting. I don't think there is a perfect match for me. I got close last season, but it did not work out."

"What of him?" Kate nods across the room. You follow her gaze and find Benedict looking at you. He makes his way over once you spot him.

"I must go," you excuse yourself and flee.

Kate watches you go, and then watches Benedict follow the path you have taken. She wasn't sure what that was about, but she felt inclined not to intervene.

You find refuge in a dark corner behind some flowers. You sigh as you lean against the wall. Dodging Benedict all night was going to be harder than you thought.

"Are you hiding from me?"

You jump and turn to see Benedict looking at you. "No."

"It seemed like you were."

"I just need some space. All that dancing..."

"I didn't see you dancing." Benedict reaches for your dance card. "Your card is empty."

You take your hand back and sigh. "I'm sorry. I was just... confused."

"About that?" He asks.

"Forget about it. Why aren't you dancing?" You ask.

"I'm avoiding the mamas."

You chuckle softly.

"Dance with me?" He asks.

Your heart skips a beat. He offers you his hand and you know you can't really say no without making him worry. You take his hand and let him guide you to the floor. You join in with the dance.

Benedict looks at you as you both dance. "So tell me, why have you been avoiding me?"

You know he's not going to let this go. "I was embarrassed, I suppose."

"Embarrassed? Why?"

"Can I ask you something?" You ask softly.

"Of course."

"What do you see when you look at me?"

Benedict is struck into silence. He wasn't expecting that question from you. He has to remind himself that you're both dancing and take care not to step on your toes.

"You're beautiful, kind, honest, smart. You brighten up a room just by being in it. Your smile is genuine. You worry a lot, but I like that about you. It shows just how much you care about things and people. If I like you, other shall surely adore you."

You feel breathless. Benedict always knows just what to say to send you into a tizzy, but his last few words stung. He likes you, but not like that.

You put on a brave smile.

"Thank you, Benedict."

You both finish the dance, and he escorts you over to the refreshment table. He grabs you a glass and takes one for himself. You both sip your drinks. Before either of you can pick up the conversation, Violet comes over and leans into Benedict's other side.

"Have you seen your sister or your brother?" She asks, looking rather flustered.

"They managed to escape you? Good for them." Benedict smiles.

You nudge him harshly with your elbow. Benedict lets out a quiet ow and walks away, leaving you with Violet. You turn to her with a soft smile. "I'm sure they're not far."

Violet smiles softly and nods. "Have you two made up then?" She asks, referring to you and Benedict.

"Made up?"

"I was under the impression something happened." She looks a little confused.

"All is well. Your son has helped me see something in me I hadn't noticed before. That's all."

Violet smiles and then shifts her gaze as Lady Danbury approaches. You greet the other woman and she nods at you with a pleasing smile.

"Lady Danbury. Splendid evening," Violet comments.

"For the most part. There are a few guests whose absence I might not have regretted."

Lady Bridgerton laughs. "I do hope I'm not one of them."

"You and I have common interest this season, it seems." Lady Danbury tells her.

"I heard. Your wards, I look forward to meeting them."

"I met them earlier," you chime in. "Two very beautiful ladies."

Violet seems pleased by your words.

The two ladies talk away, and you find this a good opportunity to sneak away. You miss Kate and Edwina leaving rather quickly from the ball, unaware what had occurred between Kate and Anthony in the garden.

Benedict finds you again rather quickly. He comes up beside you and looks around. "Has my mama ended her pursuit?"

"I don't know why you're worried. She has her hands full with Eloise and Anthony. I don't envy her position with those two."

Benedict chuckles. "Is my mama not helping you, also?"

"She has offered her assistance, yes. Yet, I do not expect to come first. Her own children are her priority, and for that, I understand. I think I shall push the subject to the back of my mind for now."

Benedict regards you quietly and then nods.

The rest of the evening passes in quiet company with the second eldest brother. He sees no reason to leave your side when he's finding himself enjoying his time so much.

He even escorts you outside at the end. Everyone is too occupied with themselves to pay any attention to you two.

Benedict sees that you get in your carriage safely and bids you farewell. You wave as the carriage leaves. He watches you go before joining his family again.

Another season, another opportunity for chaos to arise.

@callmemana - @lilscast - @imgondeletedis - @benedictbridgertonss - @clownsdiehard - @wxnterwidow333

@sillynilly27 - @autumn-slaves - @ben-has-arrived - @ajdelilah - @aadu2173

@booknerdlife - @tamlinrose - @sarahskywalker-amidala - @cheryyluv - @louschan - @lou-la-lou - @cultish-corner

@hopshusushi - @katherinejess - @nannabug - @afunkyfreshblog - @f0x33 - @dd122004dd -

@jupitervenusearthmars - @orchiidflwer - @bespinnn - @captainlunaxmen - @winchestersimpalababy - @acupnoodle

@ms-fandomgirl - @fablesrose - @anyaisinyourcloset - @meowzerzstuff - @orchiidflwer - @crazymar15

@cosmixstar - @bree3parchen - @berrnuu - @charmainemaclendon - @pinkpantheris - @krismdavis

@biancamde - @ifgslsofbsodbf - @kniselle - @berarenado - @grassclippers - @bwormie - @avengersgirllorianna

[storiesforallfandoms]

Masterlist 3!

Here’s the third masterlist for all of my works! If you want to check out more of my work, here’s the links for masterlist one and masterlist two Imagines marked * are smutty imagines! Imagines marked ` are requests! Imagines marked ⭐ are personal favorites!

IMAGINES

STRANGER THINGS small ~ jim hopper` dance with me ~ eddie munson ⭐ starry night ~ steve harrington* (part five) ⭐ at the hip ~ steve harrington` ⭐ triple date ~ steve harrington (part six) ⭐ the freak ~ steve harrington (part seven) ⭐ oblivious ~ eddie munson ⭐ jason doesn’t know ~ eddie munson ⭐ this is music ~ eddie munson` ⭐

SUPERNATURAL strange human feelings ~ castiel` cleaning ~ dean winchester`

HANNIBAL into fiction` sob story ~ hannibal lecter

THE BOYS obsession ~ billy butcher* ⭐ herogasm ~ soldier boy* ⭐ alone on christmas ~ billy butcher can’t get too close ~ billy butcher ⭐ change in a heartbeat ~ billy butcher ⭐ the bad room ~ homelander ⭐

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY life father ~ diego hargreeves` rescue mission ~ klaus hargreeves’ ⭐

THE LAST OF US (HBO) friendly neighbors ~ joel miller ⭐ too sweet ~ joel miller

BARRY attraction ~ barry berkman` treat him better ~ barry berkman

AMERICAN HORROR STORY late night sins ~ xavier plympton (1984)*`

VICTORIOUS lost dog ~ tori vega` junker ~ beck oliver

HEMLOCK GROVE i don’t ever wanna see you with him ~ roman godfrey ⭐

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES roses are red ~ damon salvatore` ⭐

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH captive ~ blackbeard/ed teach ⭐

PEAKY BLINDERS moved on ~ thomas shelby

FUTURE MAN winner ~ josh futturman* ⭐

GAME OF THRONES littlest lion ~ oberyn martell (part one) ⭐ freedom ~ oberyn martell (part two) ⭐

THE WITCHER destiny ~ geralt of rivia

DOCTOR WHO looks of a princess ~ eleventh doctor ⭐

BRIDGERTON by the lake ~ benedict bridgerton

THE GENTLEMEN the assistant ~ raymond smith ⭐

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN spirit of nature ~ jack sparrow`

THE MAZE RUNNER i’ll keep you safe ~ newt`

MARVEL how things are now ~ marc spector and steven grant` ⭐ kneel ~ loki* the most wonderful time ~ bucky barnes fast ~ pietro maximoff ⭐

1917 early morning ~ will schofield*`

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT happy birthday ~ javi gutierrez ⭐

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S i need someone older ~ william afton ⭐ the ice cream girl ~ mike schmidt

SALTBURN new toy ~ felix catton ⭐ partners ~ oliver quick ⭐

THE SANTA CLAUSE santa’s sister-in-law ~ bernard the elf

8 MILE one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr ⭐

THE FALL GUY the space cowboy and the pa ~ tom ryder

A QUIET PLACE i’d find you in any life ~ eric ⭐

GLADIATOR II betrothed ~ emperor geta ⭐

PETE DAVIDSON your gift` favoritism`

HARRY STYLES the perfect tree a star in the making` sleepy head`

MACHINE GUN KELLY baby mama` ⭐ my queen*` getting your attention*` all the mistakes` not what it looks like` can’t keep doing this*`

EMINEM may the best artist win*` too close for comfort` ⭐ when it’s wrong but it feels right` in the dressing room*` he’s acting different` we have to stop meeting like this` every inch*` let’s surprise the world` i’m sorry i let you down`

GOODGUYFITZ wake up call*`

CORPSE HUSBAND letting go` they forgot` ⭐

ASHTON IRWIN home life` cover me*`

CONAN GRAY pushing`

MATTHEW LILLARD accidental drunk confessions`

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE feeling good*`

ALEX TURNER more than a song*` ⭐

BO BURNHAM can’t handle this right now ⭐ look at me*`

KRISTEN STEWART special customer`

TARON EGERTON he already has my approval ⭐

ROBERT PATTINSON my favorite superhero

GERARD WAY good girl*`

GWILYM LEE history repeats itself`

RYAN GOSLING play date`

JOSEPH QUINN bad idea, right? ⭐

RANBOO fluffy haired gamer boy`

JACOB ELORDI height advantage`

MOTLEY CRUE she is mine ~ mick mars`

CHRIS EVANS not used to normal` ⭐

SWAGGERSOULS our next step`

JSCHLATT too far ⭐ the hotel room* ⭐

JOHNNY DEPP just for us`

TRAVIS BARKER the parent trap`

SHIPS

family reunion ~ hermione granger x draco malfoy`

HEADCANONS

showing pedro pascal fan edits ⭐ sitting on jschlatt’s lap ⭐

NSFW ALPHABET

rook (jp capellette)*` eddie munson* ⭐ billy butcher* ⭐

[thebadgerclan]

Pall Mall

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x reader x Kate Sharma

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: Your first trip to Aubrey Hall...

A/N: My masterlist will be updated on FRIDAY this week because I’m on vacation all mext week!

Anthony had finally found a gap in his schedule wide enough to take you and Kate to Aubrey Hall.  Violet was wrapped up in preparations for Eloise’s debut, and the rest of the Bridgerton siblings were otherwise occupied, leaving the country estate unoccupied except for the three of you and the staff.  All of the servants who were employed at Aubrey Hall knew of your relationship with the Viscount and Viscountess, and knew to keep quiet about what they saw.

It was a well-deserved and much needed respite from the bustle of city life; waking to the sound of birdsong rather than hoofbeats, having your lovers able to dote on you rather than attend to their various duties.  As he had every morning, Anthony woke you by pressing kisses to your face.  “I have an idea, dearest.”  You stretched, brushing against Kate’s bare skin, the woman still asleep.  “And what might that be?”

“I believe it is high time we introduce you to Pall Mall, sweetest.”  Kate had stirred, groaning a bit as she stretched.  “Do not play dirty, Anthony,” she said, rubbing her eyes.  “Poor thing does not yet know the rules.”  You laughed, cocking your head.  “Is it not a spin on croquet?” you asked, and Anthony smiled, kissing you soundly.  “Oh my love,” he chuckled, a warm, dark sound.   “You are in for a surprise.”

***

Pall Mall, as it turned out, had very few real rules.  Sabotage and subterfuge were perfectly acceptable, and were in fact encouraged.  You thought that Anthony would go easy on you, as it was your first time playing, but his first move had been to hit your ball as far away from the wicket as possible.  “Anthony!” you cried, making him laugh.  “How was that fair?”  “It was not, my love,” he responded, shaking his head as Kate hit his ball further from the wicket.  “But that is how the game is played.”

Kate, at least, was on your side.  She guarded your ball from Anthony’s attacks and whispered bits of strategy into your ear.  When you landed a perfect hit–your ball sailing through the wicket while simultaneously sending Anthony’s ball into the trees–she whooped with delight, lifting you into her arms and kissing you.  Anthony chuckles as he retrieved his ball.  “Clever girl,” he said, trudging out of the wooded area with mud on his boots.  “But do not think I’ll go easier on you.”

After nearly another hour of play, the three of you were in a standoff at the last wicket.  “I propose a wager,” you said, catching both of your lovers’ attention.  “Oh?” Kate replied.  “And what might that be, darling?”  Anthony was watching you with interest, and you pressed on.  “Whoever gets their ball through the wicket first will have the other two at their beck and call for the rest of the evening.  In whatever regard they wish.”

Your implication was clear, and Anthony was immediately interested.  “And what of the other two, hmm?”  You smirked, leaning on your mallet slightly.  “They shall happily obey the victor, of course.”  The Viscount smirked, moving to press a kiss to yours, then Kate’s foreheads.  “Well then, my loves, I hope you’re not sore losers.  For I plan to make this a rather swift victory.”

Before he could strike, you raised your mallet and swung, sending Anthony’s ball flying 20 feet from the wicket.  “I do not plan on making it easy for you, Anthony,” you replied, and his grin could have lit up an entire ballroom.  Unseen to either of you, Kate took her shot, her ball flying straight through the wicket.  “Well,” she said, her voice perfectly prim and composed.  “I do hope the two of you got a good night’s sleep last night.  Because I do not plan on letting you rest much tonight.”  And she sauntered away with a wink, leaving you and Anthony helpless to do anything but follow in her wake.

[benedictscorner]

Benophie AU: enemies to lovers (modern times)

!!WRITTEN BY LIA!! (twitter: benedictslady)

"𝓢𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓶𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼, 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓲𝓽 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓴, 𝔀𝓱𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝔂𝓪?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sophie was searching for her clothes around the room, walking around with only an oversize T-shirt covering her petite body. HIS T-shirt: she wasn't home, she wasn't where she was supposed to be at that hour and she knew that who was waiting for her would be really mad at her. And it was all his damn fault. His, the rain, his, the cold, his, the weather, did she say his???

A gasp left her lips when she heard the door of the bedroom, behind her, opened and she recognized those steps, that breath and that cologne that hit her nostrils the second he entered the room: a shiver ran on her back when he let out a chuckle and a small noise, like a shift, was heard, sign that he was leaning against the doorframe.

"And here I thought I'd be the one to leave after last night, but here you are, already gathering your belongings. Why, do I scare you that much, Beckett?"

That deep voice. That deep, dark, sensual voice that used to mess with her head since the very first day she met him. Used and still did. She tried everything, she tried to focus on her life, on herself, but he always found a way to be there and tantalize her.

Sophie inhaled a deep breath and breathed it out, before gathering all her courage and turning to face him: his dark curly long nest, his big deep blue eyes, hidden behind a pair of black glasses, his muscular and sculpted body covered by a grey, a bit ruined sweater, a pair of black pants, which were a bit dirty with dust and his feet were comfortable inside a pair of black socks. Benedict Bridgerton. Her archenemy. Her thorn on her side. She hated him with all her might, with every cell in her body...but she always ended up in his grasp, always arguing, with him always having the last word. She wanted to punch him on the face so bad, but also wanted him to grab her and kiss her as if no one was there to separate them, stop them, as if they weren't the hero's and villain's sidekicks anymore. Just them, just Sophie and Benedict. In a perfect world...but she knew that this world was far from perfect.

When her brown eyes spotted her folded clothes inside his muscular arms, she immediately, almost ran, to him and grabbed them and, before he could even speak, went to hide in the bathroom in the room, locking herself inside with a swift motion. Another chuckle of his could be heard, while his steps approached the door: she knew, she knew, that if he would ever dare to open that door...it would be the end for her. And oh, if he would dare, that's one of the reasons she hated him.

"So, Beckett...are you, perhaps, hungry? I mean, we didn't eat much last night, seeing what happened. And I must say, Beckett...you're quite the allure when you yell at me: those red cheeks of yours, how those veins on your small neck show up, how I get you all riled up. You're a sight to behold, Beck-"

"I'm going back to him. Thank you for letting me use your house as a shelter for the night."

She cut him off, she knew where he was heading and she wouldn't allow that. Never. She wanted, oh how much she wanted him to continue, to let his filthy words get to her, bringing her down to her knees in front of him, to open that damn door...but it was only her heart whispering to the brain, who locked the door and threw away the key. No, she knew better. She couldn't. She mustn't.

After taking off that oversized T-shirt that was intoxicating her with his scent, almost making her feel dizzy, she wore her cable knit beige sweater, messing up her dark brown long curls a bit before pulling them out her sweater's neck. Something surprised her: silence. It was weird, he would usually use one of his comebacks to win their conversations. But all she heard was him cleaning his troath and his back leaning against the wall next to the door, before he spoke up again and she was sure, but convinced that it was only her imagination tricking her, that she heard a slight sense of sadness in his voice. No, Sophie. It was her subconscious wanting to make fun of her. How foolish she was.

"Ah...So you're still going to crawl back to him, hm? And forgetting what he did- Oh no, wait, right, what he didn't do last night? Beckett, you'd be a damn soaked and freezing mess right now, laying down on that cold road, if it wasn't for me. And where was your High Mighty, oh so dear, hero? I know where he was, not there to save you and your damn ass-"

"Didn't I already thank you, Bridgerton? I'm his sidekick, I have to go back and I accepted the risk of that position when I accepted it, so yes, I almost-"

"Oh no, you take that 'almost' back, Beckett dear"

"-I almost died there on that cold street from hypothermia because of the damn weather, the damn air and the damn rain, and yes, I survived because of you. So thank you, Bridgerton, again, but I can handle myself and my life. These are my risks, that I take and I do not need you to teach me how to live my life-"

"BUT I CAN'T JUST STAND THERE AND WATCH HIM RUIN YOU, SOPHIE!"

She gasped as her delicate hands stopped buttoning her pair of pants that she wore while talking back to him. He yelled. She never heard him yelling, not even while fighting him. And, most important, he never used her name. Always her surname. And it felt...so forbidden, but also so damn good. She wanted him to say it again, and again, and again, oh she also wished for him to moan it, but her brain scolded her heart once again, repeating how idiotic she was being. She gulped and she heard him inahling and exhaling deeply while turning and resting his forehead on the bathroom's door, his heavy breathes filling the silence, before his voice filled it again.

"Sophie, I can't. I stood back when I saw you losing fights against the villain, since I'm his sidekick, but...it wasn't any fight of ours last night. Damn it, he sent you to fix one of his problems, clean his mess, like always! Six men against one of you. Six, Sophie! Goddamn it, you took all of on your shoulders, all of those beatings- Jesus Christ, they even had guns and fights and, as much as I admire you for fighting by yourself, I just- I couldn't-..."

She was dumbstruck. He was...worried for her? Hell, he even sounded scared. Afraid. But for her? When she heard a noise out of the door, coming from his lips, her heart stopped immediately: a sob. That was a sob...right? She didn't imagine that. She even pinched her arm, but she heard another one the second later. No, her mind wasn't tricking her this time. He was sobbing. Her archenemy was crying and she was the cause of it- well, not really her, but she was blaming herself as always.

"Sophie, I couldn't let them hurt you. Or take you away from the world, from...me. Who would beat me up if you would be gone, hm? Who would I tantalize everytime? Who would scold me for being who I am? Who would I admire for their courage whenever they take all the world on their shoulders? Who would I-"

"Benedict-"

"No, Sophie, damn it, don't interrupt me, I've kept this hidden for too long! Who would I keep falling for, if you wouldn't be here anymore?' Who would I feel butterflies for, who would I fight for? You don't know, do you? The things you do to me- God, those things. Oh, how I tried to push them aside, in the back corner of my mind, away, only to protect you. I am not...a good person, I never was, but with you, Sophie, you make me feel like I can redeem myself. You make me feel alive, like if I'm learning to love all once again. You...You make me feel human while the whole world yells me that I am a beast. We are both tainted, we are both taking our bosses mistakes and problems on our backs, we are slowly destroying ourselves piece by piece. But I'm tired of doing it alone and I'm sure you are too. We are too young for this cruel world, Sophie Beckett, and I know that I'm a hotheaded, heartless, dumb, foolish, thickheaded bastard, but Good Heavens, I want to be a hotheaded, dumb, foolish, thickheaded bastard with you- And the only reason I'd be heartless while being next to you, it'd be literally, because I'd grab the first weapon I'd find and tear my chest open until I bleed, only to let you in and let your small delicate hand grab my heart. It's already yours, you may just take it, Sophie. It has been yours since the start"

She was the one sobbing right now. Her whole world crumbled down and she made a choice, the one that was screaming from the back of her head, inside that basement hidden from her brain, but now? Now she was letting her heart speak and she was sending her brain to Hell. She didn't want to listen to it anymore. She wanted her heart. She wanted him. She wanted Benedict Bridgerton. No. She loved Benedict Bridgerton.

After finally buttoning those damn jeans of hers, she started to try and open the bathroom's door, failing because of her head reeling, her tears streaming down her cheeks and her heart racing. A gasp left her lips when Benedict broke down the door and she saw his panting, tall figure, his big deep blue eyes red and puffy from crying but also filled with a desire. Desire to hold her. Have her. Love her.

The moment he grabbed her face with his big warm hands and their lips met, everything disappeared and they were alone. They weren't archenemies anymore. They weren't sidekicks. They were themselves. They were Sophie and Benedict. Benedict and Sophie. They were finally free. They were humans. And all they wanted was a life with eachother and to forget about their problems, healing and helping one another.

A gasp, which transformed into a giggle a second later, left Sophie's lips when she felt Benedict's strong arms lifting her up and making her sit on the sink, still during their kiss, while her small hands found their way on his dark curly long nest, grabbing onto it and messing it up, as if it wasn't messy already, and she was sure to feel him smiling in the kiss and heard him chuckling, before he backed off to meet her brown eyes with his big deep blue ones, both of them panting and holding onto eachother, like if they would disappear in a snap. They both started to laugh, a laugh filled with happiness, freedom, love, joy, contentment and relief. She blushed when he sighed as he nuzzled his head against the crook of her neck, leaving a trail of kisses from there to her ear, slowly and enjoying the way she would squirm under him and her soft moans, before leaving a last, long, loving kiss on her ear, exhaling there like if he had just been released by a big chain and a big ball holding him away from her. He smiled and rested his chin on her shoulder, whispering those words who caused her to feel butterflies- no, a whole zoo inside of her stomach, while her cheeks turned redder than a strawberry.

"You're my favourite sin, Beckett"

!! WRITTEN BY LIA !! (twitter: benedictslady)

[herwritingjourney]

Anthony Bridgerton - The Gentlemen’s Code

“Come and be with me. I’ll provide for you. A house, beautiful dresses, servants at your every beck and call, you’ll never have to lift a finger.” Anthony’s voice cut through the comfortable silence and echoed through the room, bouncing off the tall ceilings. You stifled a laugh.

“What do you mean my lord?” You pushed yourself up from his chest to look at him, a playful smile on your face. From the tone of his voice, you couldn’t tell if he was being serious about his request. Well, he couldn’t be. He’s Anthony, the Viscount to the Bridgerton house, and you… well you’re just his oldest family friend. Imagine how scandalous and damaging that would be to your family names if people found out about the two of you.

The moonlight slipped through the closed curtains and highlights his handsome features. You could see his scrunched up eyebrows as he looks down at you, cheeks lightly flushed and mouth slightly a gap.

Oh dear…

He was indeed being serious.

“You’ll have to stay in another estate but I promise I’ll come and spend the days with you once I’m finished with my daily affairs.“ he continued on.

“You’re joking aren’t you?” You stopped him mid way. You further pushed your body up and away from the bed. Hastily, you picked up the silk robe that had fallen to the floor from the steamy rendezvous you had earlier in the night, and wrapped it around your naked body. “You can’t joke about things like this Anthony.” You said pointedly, annoyed that he even suggested it.

“I wouldn’t joke about this. I’m being serious. I can’t live if I know that I would have to share you with another man one day. You’re mine and mine only.” He sat up on the bed, looking back at you. You brushed your fingers past your brown locks and crossed your arms afterwards.

“Are you out of your mind? What about the Viscountess? What about your family? Your honour would shred to nothing if people find out about us.” You said exasperatedly. You turned away from him and started to pick up loose articles of clothing from the floor. “And what about yours? Do you really want to be known as tainted goods?” he countered. You heard him get up from the bed and within seconds, he’s standing behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulled you into him and nuzzled his face against the side of your neck, peppering it with light kisses.

“You know that my relationship with Kate was arranged. We don’t love each other like the way you and I do, and besides she already knows about us from the start. It’s just the rest of the world that needs convincing.” his voice was warm, and his hands tightened their grip on your waist. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you.” You whispered, slowly melting back into his kisses. “She might not love you then but she does now.” You tried your hardest to keep your voice from shaking and your knees from buckling. Anthony has always had that effect on you. From the first moment he laid his eyes on you to the moment he took your innocence away, he has always been able to melt you in any way possible.

Anthony’s kisses on your neck doesn’t falter even after hearing what you said. “I don’t care, I only want—“ suddenly, his voice was interrupted by the sound of the bell ringing frantically.

“Ring the doctor! The Viscountess needs help!”

You shared a look with Anthony and quickly put on the clothes that you had gathered. You hastily tidied up your hair and pulled it back with a ribbon. Then, without caring if Anthony was following behind you, you rushed out from the room.

—

In the main wing of the house, all the help had gathered around the Viscountess’s quarters. “What happened here?” You pushed yourself through the crowd. When you finally got through, you were greeted by the pungent smell of vomit and sweat. The Viscountess was lying down on the floor, eyes barely open and face almost as white as the sheets.

You immediately sprung into action. “Help me carry the Viscountess back to her bed.” You ordered and just then, you felt a pair of arms scoop her up from the floor and then watched as he gently placed her back on the bed. He caressed the side of her head and wiped the sweat from her eyes.

“Are you okay? What happened here?” he asked worriedly. Kate’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of Anthony’s voice. “I’m so sorry I just wanted to get a cup of water but then I just felt so dizzy and the next thing I know, I’m on the floor.” her voice was raspy as her eyes welled up in tears.

“Make way, the doctor’s here.” Anthony’s butler paved the way for the doctor and he immediately began checking up on the Viscountess. He mumbled some things to Anthony and he nodded his head in acknowledgment. “Clear the room. The Viscountess needs her space.” Anthony’s voice thundered. Without a second delay, everyone moved out from the room and the doors closed shut right in front of you.

It was only days after the incident when you finally managed to get Anthony alone again. The past few days, he had been actively avoiding you and every call you made to his quarters was just returned with radio silence or apologies from his butler.

You wanted answers and answers you shall get.

As the clock ticked close to 11, you bid your mama and papa goodnight as they retired into their quarters. You gave a knowing look to your help and she scurried off into your room and locked the doors shut, an act that the two of you had perfected ever since you and Anthony got together. You pulled on your cloak and set off into the night.

You made your way up the trellis vine and onto his balcony. As always, the back doors were open wide, as if it was waiting for your arrival. There he was, Anthony Bridgerton, his body defeated as he sat at the edge of his bed, his face buried in his hands.

“Anthony…” You whispered, a gust of wind followed after. You turned to close the doors behind you but you were stopped by his body and arms engulfing you. “I’m so sorry”, was the first thing he whispered into your ears. All the rage you had felt the past few days completely dissolve as you moulded your body against him.

His hands moved quick against your dress, un tightening the corset you had on. His other hand held you close and his lips ravaged the exposed skin of your shoulder. “Anthony stop…” you were weak against him. You had longed for his touch but you were here for answers.

“You didn’t answer any of my calls. Where were you?” You asked but instead of answering your question, his kisses only got more hurried and his actions sloppy. “Anthony, you can’t just ignore me one day and then act like you want me the next.” Your voice stronger now. When he still refused to answer, you mustered all the energy you can get to push him away from you. “I need answers Viscount.” you said, eyes locking on his. This was when you realised just how terrible he looked.

The bags under his eyes, darker than you’ve ever seen. The stubble on his chin growing and how caved in his cheeks looked.

What is going on?

What could have been so bad to make him look this half dead?

He perched one hand on his waist and the other rubbed on his face.

“Kate’s with child.” he confessed.

You felt your heart drop. “Is it yours?” Your voice wavered. “I thought you said you didn’t love her.” You continued. He looked up at you, eyes welling up with tears. “I don’t know how it happened. We did have a few drinks the other day but I didn’t think anything happened because —“ You had heard enough.

“Mistakes happen all the time. Isn’t it a gentleman’s job to make sure you take responsibility over your actions?” His eyes rounded in shock. “What are you saying?” he asked. “You’re the Viscount Bridgerton and the Viscountess is carrying your child. That child is going to carry the Bridgerton name for centuries to come. You know what I’m saying.” you started tidying yourself up.

Every part of your body burned. Jealousy, rage, disappointment, every negative feeling you felt.

“Goodbye Anthony Bridgerton.”

[big-barn-bed]

tagged by @goldslick ! ✨🩷 MWAHH

Rules: answer and tag people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!

favorite color: brown 🐻🍂🤎 or maybe green🌲🐢🥦

last song: hey diddle (dixon van winkle mix) by paul et linda mac

last movie: late night with the devil 😵‍💫🪱

currently reading: vera wong’s unsolicited advice for murderers! and by currently reading I mean it is sitting on my nightstand waiting to be read

currently watching: eagerly awaiting part 2 of the new bridgerton season. hopefully there will be more tits! 🤞

currently craving: I want a snow cone SO BAD but where does one aquire one?? As a child I never appreciated the seemingly abundant sources of people with snow cone machines at my beck and call

tea or coffee: tea tea tea!!! I love coffee too but she doesn’t love me <\33 I can take two sips before the heart palpitations start. Me and tea are in a healthy, stable relationship and I shan’t take her for granted.

tagging @monkberryfields @fkajohnlennon @adriennefrombrooklyn @notgrungybitchin if it pleases ye💜💜

[infiniteimaginings]

List of upcoming requests would be lovely 🙏

Upcoming posts!

This is a list of stories requested that I’ll be writing and posting soon. Those that have dates next to them are complete and will be posted that day!

(I hope this helps with the waiting and stuff!! Please let me know if this was good or any info i could add!)

NR = Not Requested (It's something I personally wanted to write)

Will be slow coming back, life is crazy and motivation is low

I've Always Been Here (Penelope Featherington x Fem!Reader) [Bridgerton] - August 2nd

I Adore You (Klaus Baudelaire x GN!Reader) [A Series of Unfortunate Events] - August 7th

How Was Your Date? (Max Thunderman x GN!Reader) [The Thundermans] - August 14th (NR)

Why Didn't You Tell Me? (Henry Hart/Kid Danger x GN!Reader) [Henry Danger] - August 21st (NR)

You're My Hero (Phoebe Thunderman x TransMale!Reader) [Platonic] [The Thundermans] - August 28th

No Need For A Second Date (Benny Weir x Fem!Reader) [My Babysitters a Vampire] - September 4th

Reckless (Book!Percy Jackson x GN!Reader) [Percy Jackson] - September 11th

(Currently Unnamed) (Moose x GN!Reader) [Step Up] - September 18th

I've Never Had a Sister (Skylar Storm x GN!Reader) [Platonic] [Mighty Med] - September 25th

How to Confess to Your Friend in 10 Steps (That aren't needed) (Beck Oliver x Fem!Reader) [Victorious] - October 2nd

Camping Was A Bad Idea (Benny Weir x Fem!Reader) [My Babysitter's a Vampire] - October 9th

I Just Don't Like Her (Cat Valentine x Male!Reader) [Victorious] - October 16th

Farwell. /A Part Two to 'You Caused This?/ (Anthony Bridgerton x GN!Reader) [Bridgerton] - October 23rd

Me And You (Gabe Duncan x GN!Reader) [Good Luck Charlie] - October 30th (NR)

[Surprise halloween post, Person and Title wont be posted until fic is posted] - October 31st (NR)

I Can't Keep Doing This (Austin Moon x GN!Reader) [Austin and Ally] - November 6th

Stage Fright (Benny Weir x Fem!Reader) [My Babysitter's a Vampire] - November 13th

The HoneyMoon 'Phase' (Anthony Bridgerton x GN!Reader) [Bridgerton] - November 20th

Hopeless Crush? (Carlos De Vil x GN!Reader) [Descendants] - November 27th

Dates to be determined (since they're so far out):

I Think You're Great (Adam Davenport x GN!Reader)

Empty Dance Cards (Penelope Featherington x Fem!Reader) [Bridgerton]

Haunted Houses, How Ironic (Benny Weir x GN!Reader) [My Babysitter's a Vampire]

For Some Reason I Love You (Harry Hook x Male!Prince!Reader) [Descendants]

Lost But Now Found (Audrey x Sibling!GN!Reader) [Platonic] [Descendants]

Always In Your Shadow (Kate Bishop x Sibling!GN!Reader) [Platonic] [Marvel]

We Can Just Sit Here (Kate Bishop x GN!Reader) [Marvel]

Ice Dates (Benny Weir x GN!Reader) [My Babysitter's a Vampire]

First Light (Eloise Bridgerton x Fem!Princess!Reader) [Bridgerton]

You Are Home (Chase Davenport x Fem!Reader) [Lab Rats]

We Aren't Friends (Harry Hook x Fem!Reader) [Descendants]

I Feel Like I Know You (Quigley Quagmire x GN!Reader) [A Series Of Unfortunate Events]

Always and Forever (Jay x GN!Reader) [Descendants]

Oblivious (Ethan Morgan x Fem!Reader) [My Babysitters A Vampire]

I Can't Help But Protect You (Hercules x GN!Reader) [Once Upon A Time]

Different (PJ Duncan x GN!Reader) [Good Luck Charlie]

I Though I Could Protect You (Kate Bishop x Brother!Male!Reader) [Platonic] [Marvel]

I Know What You’d Choose (Justin Russo x GN!Reader) [Wizards of Waverly Place] (NR)

Yeah, I Know Who You Are (Jack Brewer x GN!Reader) [Kickin’ It] (NR)

You’re My Brother, Always (Sister!Bree Davenport x Trans!Male!Reader) [Lab Rats]

I Might Lose You (King George III x GN!Reader) [Bridgerton]

A Gentle Kind Of Love /A Part Two to ‘A Courtship?’/ (Violet Bridgerton x GN!Reader) [Bridgerton]

A Bond That Never Truly Breaks /A Part Two to ‘The Wasabi Code’/ (Kim Crawford x Sibling!GN!Reader) [Platonic] [Kickin’ It]

We're Family (Wasabi Warriors x GN!Reader) [Platonic] [Kickin' It]

I Want to be More (Henry Hart x GN!Reader) [Henry Danger]

Closer /A Part Two to 'Lost'/ (Ravi Ross x GN!Reader) [Bunk'd/Jessie]

Not A Spellmaster (Benny Weir x Fem!Reader) [My Babysitter's a Vampire]

Secrets Have a Way of Coming Out (David Nolan/Prince Charming x Fem!Reader) [Once Upon A Time]

Our Future (PJ Duncan x GN!Reader) [Good Luck Charlie]

Know it's for the Better (Max Thunderman x GN!Reader) [The Thundermans]

Not Much Of A Beast (Ben Florian x GN!Reader) [Descendants]

Song Of The Sea (Ben Florian x Fem!Reader) [Descendants]

I'll See You Again (PJ Duncan x GN!Reader) [Good Luck Charlie]

Love Potions (Benny Weir x Fem!Reader) [My Babysitter's a Vampire]

I Came Back For You /A Part Two to 'You Forgot About Me'/ (Evie x GN!Reader) [Descendants]

Some Type of Fairytale (Benny Weir x Fem!Reader) [My Babysitter's a Vampire]

Please, Please, Please (Max Thunderman x GN!Reader) [The Thundermans] (NR)

[dvar-trek]

Romance Roundup: Part 2

the full list:

loved | liked | okay | didn't like

 ●Captive Prince Trilogy by C.S. Pacat     ○Captive Prince     ○Prince's Gambit     ○Kings Rising     ○The Summer Palace  ●Whyborne and Griffin Series by Jordan L. Hawk (there are like 11 of these in total, but this is as far as i got. this is not the only reason i stopped, but this series does contain a sex scene wherein sliding back the foreskin is described as "peeling". and i just. i simply don't think you should peel a dick. i don't think it's good for them.)     ○Widdershins     ○Eidolon     ○Threshold  ●Sweet Disorder by Rose Lerner  ●Sailor's Delight by Rose Lerner  ●Something Human by A.J. Demas  ●Doomsday Books by KJ Charles     ○The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen     ○A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel

 ●Old Bridge Inn Series by Annick Trent     ○Beck and Call     ○The Oak and the Ash  ●10 Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hall  ●Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall (okay, listen, the first chapter hits you with a high concentration of cringe, and is therefore difficult to read. but the cringe concentration lessens considerably as you go along, and this ended up being one of my faves.)  ●Husband Material by Alexis Hall (again with the cringe, but it's not a strong enough book otherwise to make up for it, imo. the first book stands up great without having to bother with the sequel)  ●The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever by Julia Quinn  ●Bridgerton Series by Julia Quinn     ○The Duke and I     ○The Viscount Who Loved Me (there are six more of these, but i simply couldn't go on)

 ●The Mystery of Nevermore by C.S. Poe  ●Turner Series by Cat Sebastian     ○The Soldier's Scoundrel     ○The Lawrence Browne Affair     ○The Ruin of a Rake     ○A Little Light Mischief  ●The Last Binding by Freya Marske (these are kissing books, but i didn't like the actual romances so much as the. like. plot.)     ○A Marvellous Light     ○A Restless Truth     ○A Power Unbound  ●Lucky Lovers of London by Jess Everlee     ○The Gentleman's Book of Vices     ○A Rulebook for Restless Rogues  ●A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland  ●His Heart's Obsession by Alex Beecroft  ●Seducing the Sedgwicks by Cat Sebastian     ○It Takes Two to Tumble     ○A Gentleman Never Keeps Score     ○Two Rogues Make a Right  ●Hard Sell by Hudson Lin  ●Green Men World by KJ Charles     ○The Secret Casebook of Simon Feximal (can be read as a stand-alone. is also not really a romance, per-se, although they sure do fuck. more like if shelock holmes had been a ghost-hunter, and watson had told us about all the sex they were having)     ○Spectred Isle (n.b. this was meant to be the first book in a series that is on hold indefinitely, though i enjoyed it plenty on its own)

 ●Winterbourne series by Joanna Chambers (there's one more novella in this series but none of my libraries has it)     ○Introducing Mr. Winterbourne     ○Mr. Winterbourne's Christmas     ○The First Snow of Winter  ●The Vicar and the Rake by Annabelle Greene  ●The Gentleman and the Spy by Neil S. Plakcy  ●The Lord and the Frenchman by Neil S. Plakcy  ●Unfit to Print by KJ Charles  ●Brook Street by Ava March  ●Enlightenment Trilogy by Joanna Chambers     ○Provoked     ○Beguiled     ○Enlightened     ○The Bequest (epilogue novella)  ●Unnatural by Joanna Chambers  ●Restored by Joanna Chambers  ●Society of Gentlemen by KJ Charles (another one where the whole series is worthwhile for the story, even if i didn't love all of the romances. the characters are endearing and there's an excellent little series epilogue availble on the author's website)     ○The Ruin of Gabriel Ashleigh (prequel novella)     ○A Fashionable Indulgence     ○A Seditious Affair     ○A Gentleman's Position

 ●Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall  ●Hither, Page by Cat Sebastian  ●The Missing Page by Cat Sebastian  ●Sins of the Cities by KJ Charles     ○An Unseen Attraction     ○An Unnatural Vice     ○An Unsuitable Heir  ●Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston  ●Bright Falls series by Ashley Herring Blake (I'm still on a waitlist for the third book, which just came out)     ○Delilah Green Doesn't Care     ○Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail  ●Fake it 'til You Make Out by Isla Olsen  ●The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite  ●The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows by Olivia Waite  ●The Lilywhite Boys by KJ Charles     ○The Rat-Catcher's Daugher (prequel novella)     ○Any Old Diamonds     ○Guilded Cage     ○Masters in this Hall (sequel novella)  ●England World by KJ Charles     ○Proper English     ○Think of England  ●Will Darling Adventures by KJ Charles     ○Slippery Creatures     ○The Sugared Game     ○Subtle Blood

 ●The Lady's Secret by Joanna Chambers  ●A Charm of Magpies series by KJ Charles     ○The Magpie Lord     ○A Case of Possession     ○Flight of Magpies  ●Other KJ Charles book linked to the Magpies world     ○A Queer Trade     ○Rag and Bone     ○Jackdaw  ●Wanted, A Gentleman by KJ Charles  ●The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting by KJ Charles  ●A Thief in the Night by KJ Charles (novella linked to Gentle Art)  ●Band Sinister by KJ Charles  ●Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian  ●A Duke in Disguise by Cat Sebastian

romance roundup part 1

[storiesbreathed]

#STORIESBREATHED : independent selective multimuse of theater, film, literature penned by ali, she/her, 24

rules / muse list | interest tracker

highest inspiration characters : annie cresta ; ariel ; arya stark ; astrid becke ; binx choppley ; carina smyth / barbosa ; christine daae ; cyriel ; dea ; elizabeth turner ; eloise bridgerton ; eurydice ; fearne calloway ; francesca bridgerton ; johanna barker ; joy ; kate sharma- bridgerton ; leona de rolo ; matilda bishop ; ‘mj’ michelle jones ; satine ; sophie beckett ; tashi duncan ; tessa gray

also found at :

@slautertm ( with sideblogs @yellowjacketm & @hatchetfieldgazette ) | the tiny town of hatchetfield

@cupcaketrickster | jester lavorre

@firepassed | keyleth of the air ashari

@dawnshe | vex’ahlia vessar

[taleswritten]

Under the cut is a list of muses I have for those who can’t open the google doc. Note: the google doc has detailed information about them so if you can, please open it up.

Bold is primary, italic is secondary, regular is by request.

TVD/TO/LEGACIES:

ELENA GILBERT

KATHERINE PEIRCE

DAMON SALVATORE

ALARIC SALTZMAN

LIZZIE SALTZMAN

josie saltzman

caroline forbes

bonnie bennett

Klaus Mikaelson

FINAL FANTASY:

CLOUD STRIFE (ff7r)

aeirth (ff7 remake)

tifa (ff7 remake)

Jill Warrick (ff16)

Clive Rosfield (ff16)

snow villiers

THIRTEEN REASON’S WHY:

Justin Foley

Bryce Walker

Jessica Davis

Clay Jenson

911/911 LONE STAR:

ATHENA GRANT

MADDIE BUCKLEY

OWEN STRAND

TK STRAND

GRACE RYDER

AHS:

Brooke Thompson

Montanna Duke

donovan

BBC SHERLOCK:

SHERLOCK HOLMES

BRIDGERTON:

Simon Bassett

Daphne Bridgerton

kate sharma/bridgerton

Penelope Featherington

BTVS/ATS

Buffy Summers

CORDELIA CHASE

CAOS:

SABRINA SPELLMAN

ONE CHICAGO:

natalie manning

JAY HALSTEAD

ADAM RUZEK

KIM BURGESS

Hank Voight

CRIMINAL MINDS:

Spencer Reid

Emily Prentiss

DAREDEVIL:

MATT MURDOCK

DEXTER:

DEXTER MORGAN

DCTV:

SARA LANCE

JOHN CONSTANTINE

SPOONER

EUPHORIA:

JULES VAUGHN

RUE BENNETT

FROM DUSK TIL DAWN:

Seth Gecko

Kate Fuller

GOOD GIRLS:

BETH BOLAND

Greys’ Anatomy:

meredith grey

JO WILSON

CARINA DELUCA

Ameila Shepard

GAME OF THRONES:

DANY

Jon Snow

Sansa Stark

NCB HANNIBAL:

WILL GRAHAM

HAUNTING OF BLY MANNER:

DANI CLAYTON

PETER QUINT

HEMLOCK GROVE

PETER RUMANCEK

HTGAWM:

CONNOR WALSH

LAW AND ORDER SVU:

OLIVIA BENSON

Elliot Stabler

kathleen stabler

alex cabot

casey novak

LOST GIRL:

BO DENNIS

LUCIFER:

CHLOE DECKER

lucifer morningstar

mazikeen

MINDHUNTER:

Holden Ford

POSE:

ANGEL EVANGALISTA

BLANCA EVANGALISTA

PRODIGAL SON:

MALCOLM BRIGHT

RIVERDALE:

ARCHIE ANDREWS

BETTY COOPER

TONI TOPAZ

CHERYL BLOSSOM

FP Jones

JUGHEAD JONES

ROSWELL NEW MEXICO:

MAX EVANS

LIZ ORTECHO

STRANGER THINGS:

NANCY WHEELER

BILLY HARGROVE (BILLY’S TATTOOS POST SEASON THREE HERE )

STATION 19:

Vic Hughes

SUPERNATURAL:

Dean Winchester

THE MAGICIANS:

ELIOT WAUGH

MARGO HANSON

THE WITCHER (GAME, TV SHOW, AND BOOK MIXED MEDIA):

GERALT (please note, geralt has cat-eyes. not the eyes we see in the show. if you need a visual, think game geralt)

CIRI

TRUE BLOOD:

SOOKIE STACKHOUSE

TARA THORTON

jessica hamby

JASON STACKHOUSE

SAM MERLOTTE

WYNONNA EARP:

WYNONNA EARP

WAVERLY EARP

NICOLE HAUGHT

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY:

KLAUS HARGREEVES

ALLISON HARGREEVES

VAN HELSING:

Vanessa Van Helsing

YOU:

BECK

JOE GOLDBERG

LOVE QUINN

THEO

FORTY QUINN

DCU:

WONDER WOMAN/DIANA PRINCE

HARLEY QUINN (au verse 1 here)

DESCENDANTS:

HARRY HOOK

MAL BERTHA

EVIE GRIMHILDE

MCU:

DEADPOOL/WADE WILSON

EDDIE BROCK/VENOM

STEVE ROGERS/CAPTAIN AMERICA

WANDA MAXIMOFF

BUCKY BARNES

NATASHA ROMANOFF

YELENA BELOVA

THOR

LOKI

MICHAEL MORBIUS

Peter Parker (the amazing spiderman)

POTC:

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW

ASSASSIN’S CREED SERIES:

JACOB FRYE

EVIE FRYE

EIVOR

KASSANDRA

DETRIOT BECOME HUMAN:

Connor

DRAGON AGE:

MORRIGAN

FENRIS

GARRETT HAWKE

MARIAN HAWKE

CYBERPUNK:

V (both male and v, both streetkid and corpo)

JOHNNY SILVERHAND

JUDY ALVAREZ

LAST OF US:

joel miller

ELLIE

LEGEND OF ZELDA:

LINK

RESIDENT EVIL:

ADA WONG

LEON KENNEDY (previously traumamade)

ETHAN WINTERS

LADY DIMITRESCU

Claire Redfield

dimitrescu daughters

TOMB RAIDER:

LARA CROFT

UNCHARTED:

NATHAN DRAKE

BLEACH:

ichigo kurosaki

GRIMMJOW JAEGERJAQUEZ

VAMPYR:

JOHNATHAN REID

BLACK BUTLER:

SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS

BLUE EXORCIST

RIN OKAMARU

HELLSING:

SERAS VICTORIA

INTEGRA HELLSING

NARUTO:

NARUTO UZUMAKI

TSUNADE

SEVEN DEADLY SINS:

BAN

VAMPIRE KNIGHT:

yuuki cross/kuran

ZERO KIYRUU

OUAT:

Regina Mills

Emma Swan

SOA:

JAX TELLER

VENUS

GEMMA TELLER

WHITE COLLAR:

Neal Caffrey

FAR CRY:

FAITH SEED

NEW AMSTERDAM:

MAX GOODWIN

CRUELLA:

CRUELLA DE VILLE

MASS EFFECT:

JOHN SHEPARD

JANE SHEPARD

KAIDAN

SAMARA

KASUMI

MIRANDA

DOCTOR WHO:

rose tyler

GOSSIP GIRL REBOOT:

ZOYA LOTT

MAX WOLFE

DOOM PATROL:

JANE

LARRY TRAINOR

A WAY OUT:

LEO CARUSO

CASTLE:

RICHARD CASTLE

BITTEN:

ELENA MICHAELS

TEEN WOLF:

CHRIS ARGENT

ALLISON ARGENT

SCOTT MCCALL

LYDIA MARTIN

STILES STILINSKI

THE FLASH:

BARRY ALLEN

NORA WEST ALLEN

BART WEST ALLEN

IRIS WEST

CAITLYN SNOW

KILLER FROST

SUCKERPUNCH

BABY DOLL

SHADOW HUNTERS

ISABELLE

ALEC

HOUSE OF ASHES

JASON

THE MEDIUM

MARIANNE

THE LAST KINGDOM

UHTRED RAGNARSON

Iseult

MOON KNIGHT

STEVEN GRANT/MARC

FIRST KILL

Calliope Burns

Juliette Fairmont.

THE QUARRY

Kaityln Ka

Dylan Lenivy

Laura Kearny

THE SANDMAN

Dream/Morpheus

INTEVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

Louis De Pointe

Claudia

HORIZON SERIES

Aloy

THE VAMPIRE ACADEMY (TV SERIES)

Rose Hathaway

NETFLIX’S WEDNESDAY

Wednesday Addams

Morticia Addams

Enid Sincliar

DAYS GONE

Deacon St. John

QUEEN CHARLOTTE - A BRIDGERTON STORY

Queen Charlotte

MAYFAIR WITCHES

Rowan Fielding

Critical Role (currently caught up to episode 97 and both seasons of the animated show)

Vax

Vex

Keylith

THE EVIL WITHIN

Sebastian 

Baldur's Gate 3:

Astarion

Karlach

Orin

Hazbin Hotel:

Angel Dust

Charlie Morningstar

Niffty

Alastor

Outlander:

Claire Fraser

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

New-Adjacent* OCs

(*some of them aren’t actually new but recreations!)

Gilmore Girls: Kirsty’s Dance Squad ( a group of senior dancers, all two years older than Kirsty, who are Kirsty’s closest friends in Stars Hollow )

1. Anna LaCosta — Miss Patty’s daughter, named after Anna Pavlova, part of Kirsty Gilmore’s dance squad ( recreation of my old Nikiya & Kitri LaCosta )

2. Catalina Pérez — part of Kirsty Gilmore’s dance squad ( recreation of my old Monroe Pérez )

3. Gen Saylor — part of Kirsty Gilmore’s dance squad ( sort of recreation of my old Tally Fincher )

4. Chandler Beck — part of Kirsty Gilmore’s dance squad

5. Benny Flynn — part of Kirsty Gilmore’s dance squad

PJO

Mila Bellamy — Daughter of Aphrodite, x Percy Jackson

Cyrus Allegro — Son of Apollo, x Percy Jackson

Merlin

Elsine Pendragon — Arthur’s younger sister; the golden witch of Camelot

Princess Aelia — Foreign princess with a secret, betrothed to Arthur

Glee

Hillary Holliday — Holly Holliday’s daughter

Gotham

Lorena Falcone — Gotham’s mob princess, Jim Gordon ship

Once Upon A Time

Calleigh Sheridan — College Student, Clara Stahlbaum in the Enchanted Forest

Odelia Kowroski — Ballerina, Odette Reisinger in the Enchanted Forest

Bridgerton

Bea Kelley — Modern Bridgerton OC, Simon x Anthony ship

[juliaswickcrs]

Spotify Wrapped Game -- 3, 13, 23, 33, 43, 53, 63, 73, 83, and 93!

Damn...my ADHD can't comprehend that many numbers at once hold up:

3. Sextet Montage: Tick Tick Boom!

Honestly? I think this fits all of my Bridgerton OCs. The hectic atmosphere, the "everyone who ever was or ever will be anyone will be there" the idea of getting invited to an exclusive party where your entire image is on display? It's all very Bridgerton in my opinion.

13. Primadonna: MARINA

Damn okay. This song could fit SO MANY of my OCs.

I think though, I'm gonna go with Aurelia Lestrange. She's just...such a bitch and makes all the guys around her fall in love with her without even blinking.

23. Enchanted: Taylor Swift

Again, another Bridgerton couple: Benedict and Lizzie Aldridge.

This song just SCREAMS them, even if they were friends before everything went down, Benedict has been in love with Lizzie for far longer than anybody realizes.

Also just cause it's so them "this is me praying that, this was the very first page not where the storyline ends, my thoughts will echo your name until I see you again"

33. Kings & Queens: Ava Maxx

Nymeria Martell. The beat, the vibes, it's immaculate

43. The Very First Night: Taylor Swift

I gotta go predictable and say Jess and Lexi again.

Tbh a lot of Red TV fits their relationship.

53. Death of Me: Saint PHNX

Allison Potter. I use this song whenever I write or make edits for her cause GDI it fits so well.

63. The Skye Boat Song: Bear McReary

Well I mean...I gotta say my Outlander OC Katherine Branson otherwise it just doesn't make sense.

73. Cleopatra: The Lumineers

Actually? I'm gonna say this one goes to my Star Wars OC Bryn Organa and the love of her life Obi Wan Kenobi, particularly this line.

"I was late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life. and when I die alone, die alone, when I die I'll be on time."

83. Someone to You: BANNERS

Emma Beck and Peter Parker. I can't explain it, except I can definitely see them kissing in the rain to this song.

93. Welcome To the Black Parade: My Chemical Romance

You know what? Because this was on the playlist I made for them, you get a Bad Kids OC reference.

This song reminds me of Marina Mondraia and the Bad Kids. The vibes, the imagery, I have conducted and directed an entire music video in my head to this song about Marina and honestly it's what she deserves.