#i could scream if i even had energy but i dont so i guess ill just fuck myself up real quick

[gh0st1nth3shell]

Te extraño

Its been a while since I was last really invested in Tumblr. Lost the one I had since middle school 4 years back and had to restart. Kinda demoralized me so I just haven't been on it. I have like 2 followers and I haven't bothered to even see who they are. I doubt they know me so that makes this a lot easier. Besides using Tumblr to cope and escape as a kid, I also used to be very invested in writing as a medium for release and clarity. Starting now, I guess Ill be combining the two.

Abuela, to you I dedicate these words to. Pero primero, I must apologize to you. I'm currently off two grams of shrooms, 5 blunts, and 4 shots of tequila.

Ill start by saying Im not sure what Im trying to accomplish with this. Maybe Im just looking to vent without a response or judgment. Im not certain if these words and the sentiment behind them will ever reach you but I pray in my heart they do. Ive always been better at expressing myself through pose rather than articulation and I guess that's for the better. Speaking is a waste of breath anyway.

Lately youve been popping up more and more into my mind. Its more than likely the seasonal depression Ill never escape from, but I also just feel like maybe you've been trying to reach me. These last 4 months out of the year are always the hardest for me.

You dont know this, very few people do besides now I guess the people who come across and read this, however, I was 4 in 2001. I was in Manhattan at daycare since neither of my parents could take care of me. We were only a few blocks down. I'm not sure why, but the memories of that day have been coming back to me and more vividly each time. I can recall being fetal position lined against the wall. Your daughter, my aunt, was the one who picked me up. You already know she was a New York City EMT, as well as her service during the attack. She escorted me to the medical van. I didn't get to enter before seeing the second plane hit. I can only see smoke now, the brilliant flash of orange and dark red, a fireball that was enveloped by smoke, and screams and panic. Im 27 and only able to conceptualize now, the fact that I watched hundreds of people die with my own eyes.

October Isnt terrible, but its cold. It brings me back to Melrose, South Bronx. My mother used to try and force some feigned happiness between her and her children. Everything she did was for show and tbh the hassle of getting dolled up in whatever costume she decided to put me in at the age of 5, made the shit more traumatizing than anything. Her birthday was last month but seeing as to how we don't talk at all anymore, or rather she denounced me as her son, these two months together kinda rub salt into an open wound. I can only recall the anxiety associated with her. Everything she wanted was a mandate. I realize now that I had no free will, opinion, choice, or respect when it came to my place under her. I have nightmares of her a lot now starting around 2 years ago. Im always running from her. Always hiding in some way or another. Always imprisoned or trapped, anxious or afraid.

December is most-likely the reason for that. I was 3. I don't remember shit from my younger years. I was always switching boroughs since I was a victim of a stupid ongoing custody battle for 10 years. Most of my time focus and energy by the time I was 3 was dedicated to raising my younger sister and brother. The thing is they weren't in the picture when this happened so I must've been just 1 and this would've been my first Christmas. We would've been living in Flatbush, Northside of Brooklyn, since that's were I was born. I can still generally remember the day decently well. My mom and dad weren't married long at all and when they were I could tell they weren't in love. The same way I feel around my mother is the same she felt around my father. That was obvious then and it is now. She cooked for my father and me and Im certain Brussel sprouts was in the food because it the one thing I wont eat besides olives and I remember your son bitching at me about it, to be respectful and grateful for the food my mom spent all day cooking. (He was decent on solemnly rare occasions). There always seemed like their was a static in the air that day and even now, I will never understand what it was... I just know that my first Christmas and my first exposure to domestic abuse was on the same night. Lights were up, there was a tree, there was my goldfish Elmo (sesame street was my shit), presents... all of it was destroyed by the end of the night. I unfortunately cannot escape the memories of seeing the different weapon, the rage and fear, the helplessness. My dad using anything he could to break down the door where me and my mother were behind to try and get to her. 1 year old me really tried holding the door back as if I could do shit.. it felt straight out of a fucking horror movie. I don't think Ive ever truly escaped that panic and fear. I can still recall my mothers bloodied face, bruised and bloodied body and her busted lip and tears as Brooklyn police took my father out in cuff. Nothing but wreckage and my futile attempts at consoling my mother by offering my teddy bear. I was never aware that that same exact abuse would be targeted at me.

While thats is probably the most tragic, unfortunately, Its very close with having unknowingly lost you in November so many years ago.

I apologise again, because I wasnt there in your final moments. I never thought the last time I would ever see you would be when I was 11 or that the last time I would ever hear your voice was when I was 13. Im convinced your son and daughter, my father and aunt, both very much hated me. Nothing else really seems to make sense. Everyone was aware except me. My brother and sister knew. My mother fucking knew and it feels like legitimately everyone held that information from me the whole time. I didn't know your last moments were spent bed ridden. I wasn't aware there severity of your mental condition and your overall health. No on told me you had passed. No one invited me or told me about the funeral, the burial service or the wake. My father had denounced me before that point sure, but to have been neglected in such a way as to deny me a chance to see you off, it kills me in ways I cant describe.

You have been the only woman in my entire life to show me unconditional and consistent love. You were the only one who allowed me to cry and to be aware of my depression instead of trying push it down. You were probably the only person who saw things for what they were, I was traumatized since 1, I was a parental child by 3, deeply traumatized by the age of 4 and suicidal since the age of 5. You saw how smart, loving, and full of light I was but also all the darkness around me. Spending nights under your care in Queens was probably the only time I felt safe and at peace in my forsaken childhood. You exposed me to arroz con leche. You put cinnamon sticks and nutmeg in it. Ive been in love since and if I had to think on it, its my comfort food and overall second favorite meal.

I felt safe snuggling in bed with you and watching Telemundo news and dramas even tho I never knew what they were saying. I can barely remember what you smell like anymore. Im starting to slowly lose sense of what your voice sounds like. Its getting harder to remember what you look like. Ill never forget your name though. Ill never forget the feeling of warmth and safety Ive felt in you arms and in your grace. Thank you for doing your best to protect me. Thank you for being the only person who was ever proud of me. Thank you for being the only one to see and accept me for everything I was and am. Thank you for being the only woman and the only person to love me with no condition, expectation, judgment, or sacrifice. Lastly, please forgive me for not being able to stop crying almost ten years after your death. Youre Johovahs witness so I know your up with Father God in your rightful place in heaven. You don't like Halloween at all, but you made Thanksgiving warm when I was blessed enough to share it with you.

Ill be alone for the holidays this year. I know at the very least you'll be with me so Ill try to cook something nice for us for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I at least want to make Arroz con Leche for you, by your recipe.

Abuelita, Grandmother Ilma. I miss you so much I want to fucking die. But I push on in your honor and love. Please continue to protect me, my love. Rest in peace and Heaven, my angel.

-With so many tears, sincerely Junior.

[milkf1ud]

...

[whumpingcrow]

Pt.18 "Poor Thing"

CW: noncon (explicit, 18+ please), dubcon, blood mention, injury mention, multiple whumper mention, whumpee in a collar, death mention, captivity whump, panic attack, alcohol, verbal abuse, homophobic slur, creepy/intimate whumper, August is pretty foul in this chapter so general warning for him, slight dehumanization (let me know if I missed anything!)

August didn't want Elias anymore. That had to be what was happening. Why else would he not come looking for him, why else was he allowing him to be used up and abused by all these strangers in this room the entire night? It seemed like each time one person came in and did something to him, they would leave and tell someone else, and it felt like it had stretched on for hours, and still August never came looking for him. He felt dirty, sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, covered in a sheen of sweat and tears and blood and people's disgusting fluids. His shirt was torn in some places, his shorts riding low on his hips, the only thing that remained perfectly intact was the collar around his neck, which someone had tightened further at some point and he couldn't figure out how to loosen again. August didn't want him anymore, so he was giving him up to be used by whoever else wanted to use him. And that was more painful than anything that had been done to him the last hour or two.

When the door opened again, Elias could have let out an anguished scream, tell them to leave him the absolute fuck alone and suck themselves off or use their left hand, but all he had the energy for was a hopeless flinch. He didn't even want to look up, a fire went shooting up his neck and through his jaw when he moved his head. He closed his eyes when the person approaching crouched down in front of him. Maybe if they saw how tired he was, they would take the hint and leave him alone. Instead, he felt a few slender ice cold fingers wrap around his wrist, slowly lifting his hand away from his body.

"I...I can't," he sniffled weakly, his voice wobbly and far away, "please. Please, I can't." He said it without much conviction, all hope that anyone would be able to understand him was long gone, and so his begging had been reduced to tiny, feeble whines, for the most part.

The person let out a soft hushing sound, then something cool and smooth was pressed into his palm. When he got up the courage to open his eyes, he was surprised to see a glass of water being pushed into his hand. He looked up at the person, at the young woman with wild orange hair and a round face that he couldn't find any outright malicious intent behind. She let go of his wrist, then tipped the bottom of the glass until it fell against his lips. He didn't realize how thirsty he was until the cold liquid hit his parched throat, and he guzzled it down gratefully. It tasted better than anything he'd ever had, he felt tears in his eyes at how grateful he was for it.

"Are you hurt?" She finally asked him. Her accent was heavy, her voice low and silvery. He could openly sob at how kind she was speaking to him, and the fact that it was in English.

"Oh," he breathed, his chin dropping to his chest as he relaxed from the stress that was turning his muscles to stone, "p-please can you find...can you help me find August?" He begged.

"I...I can. But are you hurt? You're bleeding." As she said it, she reached out with the skirt of her dress and wiped away some blood from his mouth.

"I'm ok. Th-think I got slapped a couple times." He took a deep, shuddery breath, then all at once realized she wasn't going to hurt him and he felt an overwhelming relief set in, one that tore a broken sob through his throat. "Oh god. Jesus fuck."

"You're alright. Do you have a name?" She sunk back to a sitting position, one that probably would be considered unladylike in her flowing dress, and watched him carefully. He was confused as to why she was sitting at his level, looking right at him, having spent the last few hours with people towering over him or suffocatingly close on top of him. He saw her eyes flick down to his collar, the tag there, but she didn't say Bunny, she only looked back up at him expectantly and waited for him to answer himself. He loved her at that moment.

"It's Elias." He cried, using the back of his hand to wipe the tears and sweat and grime from his cheeks.

"Ok Elias. My name is Camille." She hesitated for a moment, then readjusted her skirt. "Can I get you anything?"

Elias shook his head quickly, sniffing a few times. "Please don't leave me alone in here," he was rushing, pleading, "someone else will find me, please don't leave me here-"

"Ok, ok," she soothed, "I won't." She shifted a little, glancing up at the door nervously. "You...You’re not supposed to be here, are you? You have somewhere else you call home, right?”

Elias blinked at her, beginning to tremble all over. He thought about the truth, that he only came so that he didn't have to see someone die for the second time, someone that he loved more than anything. Suddenly he couldn't breathe, couldn't see anything, hear anything, besides Tyson crying, bleeding, begging him not to leave, as if he had a choice. He wanted nothing more than to be back in his arms, but he also knew August wouldn't just leave it at that, he would come back and hurt them both. He wasn’t worth all the pain and trouble, Tyson deserved better.

"I...I want to go home but it's not s-safe." He covered his face with shaking hands, trying to mute his frightened sobs.

"Why isn't it safe, Elias?" Timidly, she leaned forward, rubbing gently at his arm to try and calm him.

"August will hurt me... he'll hurt me and Tyson if I go back home. It's easier if I just stay here." Even as he said it, rushing the words out like he was afraid August would come and hear him speaking ill of him, his shoulders shook with his cries and he could hardly stay sitting upright.

Now Camille was silent, then she quickly pulled him against her chest and held him close, stroking through his unruly hair. The whines of despair he let out made her chest ache with pity, and she couldn't do enough to comfort him. She was so frightened for him, this was beyond what she was used to seeing, a person being kept in this condition. He was so torn up, so traumatized and haunted, and she didn't really want to think about what had been done to him before she found him. She'd heard others mumbling about a new toy in the other room, had heard “pet” thrown around a few times, but she didn't expect a person. And in this state, she could never live with herself if she just left him here.

"Listen to me," she began, using all of her might to keep her tone calm and even, "I'm going to help you. Where's your home?"

He was so tense and rigid in her arms, she could practically feel the conflict he had about telling her, he wanted to leave but he was so afraid, and she could feel his hopelessness starting to drip off of him and soak through her dress and onto her, too. "In Los Angeles," he breathed, "w-with Tyson Banks."

"Ok. I'll find him, and then I'll come back for you. Ok? Can you wait for me?"

He wept again, forcing himself to nod his head. He could wait, if it meant he could get back to Tyson, get home, he could wait.

She pulled away from him then, telling him that she would leave the room so that he could calm down. He felt better when she promised she would wait just outside the door for him, make sure no one would come in to bother him, and he could come to her if he needed anything.

The room was silent for the few moments that Elias was alone, and he could hear the laughter and loud voices of the drunk people through the walls. He couldn't comprehend how any of them could be having such a good time after seeing him in the state he was in now. He guessed that it was different to them, that it felt good to be the one in control, but he still felt baffled by it.

He didn't have much time to dwell on it before the door was swinging open. August stomped in, throwing a bitter look at Camille, who had foolishly just tried to convince him to stay out of the room. He shut the door behind him hard, then approached Elias with his face set in a frown.

"Where have you been?" He grumbled, taking in Elias’s newly disheveled state. "What happened to you?"

His tone was angry, and Elias realized then that August hadn't known what was happening, that what he allowed all of those people to do to him was wrong, and his lungs burned in newfound anxiety.

"I'm s-so sorry, August!" Elias cried, reaching up to grab at August's shirt to try and steady himself. His apology was desperate, despite how he couldn't force it to be very loud. He pulled himself to his wobbly knees with a huff. "I didn't want to do an-any of it but you told me...you told me I was made to be used and they wouldn't listen to me b-b-but I tried I t-"

"Shut up, Eli," August snapped at him, setting him on the edge of the bed and staring at him hard. Elias tried to sit straight, to not look so god damn used up and ugly, but he didn't think there was much he could do to pull that off, his grime felt heavily visible. August's voice was gravelly when he spoke again. "Who did this to you?" He looked over Elias again, shaking his head disdainfully at him when he was still silent, then snapped, "who the fuck did this?!"

Elias flinched, his eyes squeezing shut so he wouldn't have to see the strike he felt was coming. "I don't know! E-everyone! People just kept coming in and...and then when they left more people... I do-dont know!" He froze when August walked toward him, grabbing his shoulders aggressively as he did.

"What did they do?" Now his voice was eerily steady and calm, and he sounded bitterly furious, and Elias was shaking in every inch of his body. "What did they do to you?"

Having to think about it again, about the hands and the noises and the bodies and the constant breathlessness made Elias panicky again, and with an anguished sob he became pliable in August's bruising grip, subjecting himself to any punishment August saw fit. "E...everything." He cried, whimpering at how August's fingers pressed harder into the soft skin of his arms. "I'm s-so sorry!"

When August tossed him to the ground, he couldn't help the loud shriek of pain that he let out. He was already so tired and sore, he couldn't even peel himself off of the carpet once he was down. He felt...broken. Pathetic.

"You really are just a stupid fucking idiot, aren't you?!" August shouted at him, his voice erratic and full of poison. Elias had heard him angry before, sure, but he didn't think he'd ever heard this much fury in his words. He must have really messed up. Terror tightened around his lungs when August crouched down and grabbed the collar with both hands, yanking him forward until their faces were intimidatingly close and Elias could smell the alcohol on August's breath. "Does this mean nothing to you?! You are mine, you pathetic little faggot!"

He should apologize, he knew he should beg and plead and say that he was sorry because he was so disgusting and horrid, but he couldn't get any words out, he couldn't even breathe. He was completely paralyzed, aside from the horrible trembling, blown eyes staring into August's face as tears spilled down his cheeks. With hands at his throat and his windpipe uncomfortably crushed, he felt an icy dread, a realization that he wouldn't be saved this time, this time death would take him and keep him, and he was afraid. That girl, Camille, was going to help him, she said. She couldn't help him if he was dead.

"P...please, August," he finally forced out in a whisper, barely audible. "I-I-I’m so s-sorry, August. I'm y-yours, I know tha-that. Ple-please."

People were still laughing just outside. August was breathing heavily, Elias hardly at all, and for a moment, couldn't have been longer than one thud of Elias's wild heartbeat, August looked just as frightened as Elias felt.

Maybe it was how quiet Elias was, how he could barely get the words out, how horribly he was shaking and utterly unable to do anything to fight back or struggle, or maybe a combination of them all; but something about the way Elias was so pitifully shattered made August just...let go of him, dropping him back to the ground with a deep, tired sigh. He stood up, looking down at Elias as he curled into himself and choked out a few feeble whimpers. He stayed down for a few more moments, then he forced himself back up to his feet with a breathless whine, feeling August's interested gaze on him as he stumbled forward. August was waiting for him to topple over, with how run down he looked. He looked just about on his last leg, like a wounded beyond recovery animal that should be put out of his misery. August was starting to hate himself for selfishly keeping him alive in these conditions. Poor thing.

"They hurt you?" August asked, although his voice was only vaguely interested. Elias ignored the question entirely and instead nestled into August’s chest, not even caring that he didn't reciprocate the touch.

"M'sorry," he sighed heavily, closing his eyes, "s-so sorry, August."

With a disgruntled hum, August moved Elias away from him and started to undo the buttons on his shirt, watching him start to squirm, physically overwhelmed by the fear of being touched anymore than he had already been that night. He was silent, didn't have the means to beg August not to, but his body language practically screamed don't do this to me please no more I can't take it.

"Not gonna do anything, Bunny," August assured him, pulling his ruined shirt off of his slender shoulders carefully, "you're filthy, just gonna clean you off." Now that he was looking him over without the haze of anger over his eyes, he could really see how scared he looked, and he was appalled at himself on Elias's behalf. To be used and hurt and defiled by all those strangers, and here August had wanted to take it out on him, make him think it was his fault. Somewhere in his explanation he mentioned how August had said he existed to be used, he was only doing as he was told, how dare August punish him for that? And he couldn't be too sure, but he did sound remorseful with his apology, like he truly believed he was in the wrong, even though August knew he wasn't. Usually he loved when Elias was apologetic like this, but now it seemed to weigh so heavily on him and it was only depressing and bleak, not tragically beautiful like usual.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper with you," he said grudgingly, stroking Elias’s hair back and out of his face. His fingertips caught in a few knots and tugged just a little, and Elias flinched. "I'm just...I'm pretty drunk and I was upset that you'd disappeared."

Elias winced at the apology, like he couldn't handle the idea that August was in the wrong. "I told them I didn't want to. I said that you wouldn't like it, that I shouldn't, they didn't listen to me-"

"Angel," August cut him off, swiping at the tears on his cheek, "Elias, listen to me sweetheart. You're alright, I shouldn't have reacted that way." Elias whined in response, refusal to accept the obviously misplaced apology written all over his face. August could see the distant storm clouds of panic cycling back across Elias's face, in the way his eyebrows twitched and his eyes darted around the room, blinking furiously.

"N-no, I messed up. I messed up and I'm so fucking sorry I'm so sorry August ple-" before he could escalate back into hysteria, August pulled him into a tight embrace, swaying him side to side slowly. Every now and then a tremor made him collapse further into the hug, and he let out a small, pathetic mewl, and August wondered if it hurt to stand. Instead of asking, he just scooped him up into his arms and took him to the bed, holding him to his chest as he sank down to the mattress.

Because of the way he answered, August wasn't sure exactly what all those people had done to him, but it must have taken quite a toll on him, because within 15 minutes he was asleep, melted against the bed and August's chest heavily. August could feel Elias's fingers twitching slightly as he stroked his fingertips over his skin and through his hair melodically, telling himself it was just to make up for all the harshness of the past few hours, pretending he wasn't enjoying holding him so close and touching him so innocently.

He tried to ignore the buzzing of people just outside for a little longer, pretend that all the intolerable people weren't really there, drinking his booze and messing up his house like they hadn’t just put Elias through hell, but he had to slide out from under Elias eventually to get them to leave. He was glad that there were only a handful of stragglers left, all left with no issue. He poured himself another drink and forced himself to tidy up a little, but he couldn't find the motivation in his drunk, distressed state. Instead he went back to the bedroom, shedding his own clothes with exasperated grunts here and there, surprising himself by not spilling the drink in his hand.

He stopped in the doorway of the second guest room, observing Elias sleeping for a few minutes. He was still in the collar, his frail arms wrapped around himself to replace the warmth that left when August did. He wondered if Elias was really sorry, if he really believed he belonged to August, if any of what he said in his panicked or tortured states were true. He wanted it to be, he wanted his twisted pet to be devoted to him only, to need him, to ache for him, that was the point of all of this, wasn't it?

After he polished off his drink, he crawled slowly on top of Elias, watching him stir just a little before settling back into sleep. He kissed his nose gently, then his cheek, watching his lips twitch slightly when he kissed him there, then he let out a soft hum when August kissed his shoulder. His body was clinging onto sleep still, he probably wasn't even aware of the minuscule sounds he was making every time August's lips pressed into his skin. It was when his mouth was against Elias's rib cage, lapping at the rapid thumping of his heart and the uneven rise and fall of his breath, that he finally woke up, his hands dragging along the sheets until his fingers brushed against August's wrist.

"What are you doing?" He grumbled, his nose wrinkling as he forced himself into consciousness. He blinked a few times, looking fearfully up at August.

“I feel awful about what happened,” August mumbled, trailing his thumb down Elias’s sternum teasingly to his naval, “And I bet you none of those bastards even thought about making you feel good, huh? They all took whatever they wanted and didn’t think twice about you, right?”

A light blush caught on his tired face, and Elias had to tilt his head back because when August was looking up at him, so close, eyes hooded with alcohol and lust, it was too damn hard to look at him head on. He let out a soft sigh, too exhausted to beg August not to keep touching him and talking to him that way. "R...right."

"Poor thing. It's a damn shame, for them," he continued, "they don't know how much fun it is to make you feel good." He ran his palm the rest of the way down his stomach until his fingers latched onto the waistband of his shorts, tugging at them lazily.

"August I-" he began, but he was silenced as August reached up to hold his face. There was no use protesting, there never was. And August had been so unbelievably angry earlier, Elias didn't want to risk setting him off. He had to play it safe, he reminded himself, had to survive until Camille came back for him. He took his bottom lip into his mouth, could taste blood from the busted part of his mouth when he did.

"You can sleep if you want, Bunny. You just lay back and relax, let me take care of you." His finger trailed over Elias's throat, just above the tight collar he still had on, watching him quiver at the touch with a grin. Finally, he offered a reluctant nod, turning his head to the side in a sort of surrender.

August was still drunk, so it didn't take long for his touches to go from trying to make Elias feel better to selfishly toying with him. He had said Elias could sleep, but the closest he got to that was closing his eyes tight and pretending he wasn't awake, or there, or alive at all, feeling tears streaming down his cheeks. August didn't care that he was crying, in face at one point he leaned over and kissed a few of the tears away, whispering something of a lewd compliment in his ear.

Elias tried to convince himself that, despite how it felt, August using him like this was different than the others, better in a way. August knew him, there was some type of affection behind it, something besides sick lust. But even though he wanted to believe that, when his eyes were closed, August was just another body, taking what it wanted, making itself feel good at Elias's expense. Elias wondered if that's all he was, too, just on the other end of the spectrum, he was just a body to be used.

At one point, he really did fall asleep, his body too exhausted to stay awake, even more tired out from struggling against August every now and then. He lay under August, head tilted back and brow furrowed slightly, tiny whines and breathless moans were slipping past his partly opened mouth. August pulled off of him soon after that, pulling the blanket over the both of them, holding Elias close against his chest as he slept. Against his better judgement, he left the collar on, listening to Elias's weak gasps as he tried to breathe around it. He'd slip it off later, he just wanted to enjoy it for a little longer. That was his dynamic with Elias, after all, forcing him through pain and discomfort until it was too much, and then more, just for good measure. Through his drunken haze, August felt pride in his work, in how much he'd broken him down. All of the guilt he felt days ago for how much he'd hurt him was gone then, replaced by a warm and fuzzy fondness. He watched his perfectly trained pet sleep for awhile longer, than eventually the booze carried him into a dark and dreamless rest as well.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

"No. Absolutely not. Cancel it." He growled while you made a hurt and desperate sound at the immediate answer of your boyfriend.

"Kai please! My sister don't have anyone else to take care of her kids, and she is desperate!" You pleaded while he only arched one eyebrow at you.

"Then she should had hired a babysitter. Not give trouble for their sibling." He scoffed and returned his attention to the papers in front of him.

You sighed out loud and burried your face a bit in your hands.

"Then I guess I'm sending her a message to take them to my old apartment instead..."

He stopped abruptly on his reading to look at you.

"That won't be possible either." He said nonchantly while you arched a eyebrow.

"W-why not?"

"I sold your apartment." He said normally whil eyou widen your eyes in horror at your boyfriend's words.

"wHAT?!" you almost shouted while he sighed for you to lower your tone of voice "K-k-Kai! Why?!"

"First, you are living in here long enough, so that place won't be useful for you anymore. Second, we were in need of money and I talked to you about it."

"I don't remember you saying ANYTHING about selling my apartment!" He lifted one finger for you to wait before showing you in his cellphone a chat that you two exchanged.

Damn your distracted brain...

"Why do we again need that much money?" You sighed in hopeless.

He... wouldn't talk much about that issue right now... he was first going to talk with Pops. Later you.

"Is just a project from the yakusa angel, nothing to fuss over with."

You sighed again before frowning at your cellphone nuzzling on the pocket of your jeans.

"Anyway. The kids and I are staying in here aparently."

You merely deadpanned at his glare before you heard a muffled honk from the outside.

"You know, I can talk with that sister of yours and then-"

"Kai, no. Thanks a lot, but no. I know how my boyfriend is." You giggled while he frowned and debated with himself if he should lock the door or not...

He never met those one, but... he wasn't a fan of children... in the slightest.

It didn't take much for you to enter house with one girl and one boy holding each hand of yours, the girl had a wary look on her face while clinging to you while the boy looked around with nothing but interest.

"Its such a big place in here auntie (Y/n)!" The boy exclaimed while you laughed at his energy.

"Alright guys, remembering that this house has extremely importance; and quite honestly I have no idea how your parents let me take care of you two in here; so please be careful alrighty?" You crouched down to be eye level with the children, teh girl nodded while the boy smiled and high fived your hand.

Kai watched with a wary look on his face your interactions, sighing in defeat and choosing to place his hands on his pockets and come to you.

"Ah! Kai!" You smiled at him while the boy chosed to tilt his head at him while the girl stared blankly at him back "Those two little precious thing are my nephews! (B/n) and (G/n)!" You looked at them back with a smile that made both ease a bit their nerves.

"I see. Just instruct them to not cause any messes. You know how much I despise it." He said nonchalantly while making his way out... only deadpanning when he heard the boy asking why he said that and you simply answered that he was a cleaning maniac.

He is going to have a long talk with you.

~

Your laughter along with the kids made him lose focus more than once...

What it was so fun about those little pests? Children are loud, annoying, never follow your orders correctly and dirty... he couldn't get why and even how you could be genuinely happy around one of those.

After two screams of the kids he made his way out, thinking about the worst and his heart almost jumped at seing you layed on the grass with eyes completely closed and the kids shocking you a bit.

"I told you it was a bad idea you idiot!" The girl said in irritation while she shook you and begged you to wake up.

"It was just to be a little scare! Not to make aunt faint!" The boy exclaimed while doing the same thing as his sister.

His jaw clenched as his hands turned into fists, already preparing to demand answers from those brats on what they had done with his angel before you suddenly opened your eyes and screamed to scare them.

"Ha! Think only you two can do pranks?! Take that then!" You grabbed both of the children and gave each one of them raspberries on their necks, the boy succumbed into laughter as the girl squirmed and begged for you to stop, trying her hardest to not laugh.

... huh. So he didn't needed to worry. The sign in front of him seemed almost... cozy even.

Wait... what?

~

He walked through the halls, screeching a bit his wrist from all of his writing before he heard your voice from the kitchen.

"So you kiddos want what for eating? Already warning that junk food is not a option..." he heard nothing for a bit seconds before you whined "I'm sorry! Please dont do the pouts! I can make something else though!"

"Oh!" He heard the boy's voice "I know something then!"

Curiosity spoked louder than his knowledge so he peaked a bit on the kitchen, enough to look but the necessary for not being caught.

"Peanut sandwich!" The boy exclaimed while the girl arched a eyebrow at him.

"Mommy doesn't let you eat those things." The boy pouted at her before making a 'shh' sound to her while she rolled her eyes at him.

"Thanks for the honesty (G/n). Mommy also told me this due to your allergy mister!" You poked teh boy's nose as he poked his tongue out with a smile.

"Hum..." you brought your hand and poked your chin a couple of times with your index finger a bit before snapping your fingers "How about some sandwiches that are not all boring healthy neither much junky then?"

The kids looked at eachother before nodding while you giggled at their actions and quickly made their specific ones.

He noticed that the girl was by one or two even years older than the boy, and was definitely more reserved than her brother while the boy was simply the energy itself. But even the two being so different, both widened their eyes in awe after they took their bites when you handed their lunches.

"Amazing auntie!" The boy exclaimed before unpolitely digging his food while the girl simply stared in awe.

"Aunt, please cook instead of my mommy. Please."

"God no." You said in exasperation "She might kill me for that sweetie, dont do that."

He smirked a bit at that as he made his way out with hands on his pockets.

"I can see that when we have children she is the one spoiling the brats..." he muttered to himself before abruptly stopping on his tracks and widening his eyes in horror of what he just said.

Him? You? Children? You guys weren't even marriage! Why the hell was he even speaking about damn brats?!

No way that you and him were going to have a kid. Those gave much work, planning and pacience-

"You kiddos want me to what?" His attention got back to you as he listened your voice this time coming from the living room... aparently you just got there since minutes ago you were in teh kitchen.

"Tell is a story!" The boy exclaimed while the girl hummed in agreement.

"You always comes with the best stories aunt, please?" Teh girl asked while he followed your voices, catching the you had sitted down and the kids on both of your sides.

"Alright then..."

You chosed a fairly tale, a not much know of but it was slightly impressive how calm and... gentle you were with your words, the way you carresed the kids hair was similiar with how you carresed his own hair on a bad day..

He never noticed neither catched that you looked like the best example of a... real mother. Caring and loving... his own mother he couldn't point neither convince himself of only one time that she acted like this way with him.

He had so many troubles with his biological... that he never thought that true love with a child was even possible. He owned his life to Pops, but the yakusa was almost deprived of womans, and even some of them were generally like their atmosphere. Rigg, cold, reserved...

Yourself acted like that as well when the necessary time came... but never with him. And aparently you loved your nephews to treat them like he did.

He immediately got out and walked through the houses with a frown on his forehead... thoughts of you holding a baby on your arms and being just as or even more gentle and lovingly with a child that was also... his. A child thhat he had no shame neither disgust to have with you...

Dear lord what was happening?! When his heart started to beat so fast? When he started to care for children in the first place?! God you two weren't even marriage why on hell he was-

"Chisaki?" He snapped from hsi thoughts to see Pops looking at him with a concerned face "My boy, I called you at least five times and you didn't even listened?"

"I'm sick." He said nonchalantly to the elder "I need to find a cure or a treatment."

The old man only got more concerned as he looked at his sucessor.

"What do you mean? You seem perfectly fine at least physically. What is the issue?"

"Ever since (Y/n)'s nephews got here it started." He brought his hand to hold his chin in thought "Maybe it was because of them... I'm not sure, they are too young to have a quirk so it's not that either."

"You're feeling like you have a fever then young man?"

"No. Is not that. Ever since they came I can't stop thinking of (Y/n) with a child on her arms, a toddler or even a infant. That looks like me and her, a mix or whatever."

The elder let out a disbelieving laugh which only triggered Chisaki even more.

"So you're telling me that you're having baby fever?" Thhe way Chisaki's eyes widen in horror were quite concerning for Pops and he almost went to speak if it wasn't-

"You're joking that is a actual illness... Fuck, I need to find a cure, buy it or something-"

"Kai. I raised you better than this... please." The elder interrupted while Chisaki only glared at the man, whose face was just as unimpressed as his.

[kyber-kisses]

Southern Nights (2/4)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: all of the feels, and fluff. Dean being the softest boi

Summary: After a situation with the BMoL, Dean finds himself running towards the person he fears for the most besides his brother. But even when he finds her safe and alive, he can see that something isnt right.

a/n: Ahhh so you know how i said it would be two parts? I lied. Its gonna be four. Anyways I hope you enjoy and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Part 1

You had been uncommonly quiet.

Throughout the day Dean had continued to watch you closely, like he could somehow piece together what was going on with you just by watching. Even after they had packed it all in for the night, you remained much more quiet than normal as you moved around the kitchen to make dinner. Every once and awhile you would hum along to a tune on the radio but that was about it.

“You okay, Dean?”

The hunter sat up straight at the sound of his name on your lips, his arms folded over the kitchen island. “Me?”

“. . .Yeah?” You paused cutting up an onion to look at him. “Who else would I be talking to named Dean?”

He swallowed before quickly nodding. “Yeah, yeah im fine. Why do you ask?”

Shrugging you went back to work, the sound of the knife hitting the cutting block muffling radio momentarily. “You've just seemed quiet that's all.”

“Me? You're the one that's been quiet all of today!”

You looked up from your work once more, eyebrows raised at Dean as you slid the contents off the block and into a pan. “I haven't been quiet. Ive talked to you and Sam today-”

“No that's not-” letting a hand slide down his face he stood up, walking around the island towards you. “I'm just saying, you haven't been as talkative as you usually are. You haven't cracked a single joke today. Not one.”

“I'm sorry?” you tired, not really seeing where Dean was going with this.

“You're always cracking jokes and making lighthearted comments. You haven't done that at all. Whats going on?”

“Why do you think somethings going on if im not telling jokes?” You laughed lightly, reaching around him for a pepper.

“Um- because that's who you are? energetic, lively, funny Y/N.”

“Well I’m sorry, I was a little busy helping you and Sam find your missing mother.” You began, your knife going through the pepper with much more force than needed as you began dicing.

“I just want to know if your okay, that nothings bothering you-“

“Dean, I am Fi--” Your words were stopped short as you yelped, knife dropping to the block as you drew your hand back. “Fuck-” sure enough you had managed to cut yourself, the blood leaving the slice in your finger to run down your wrist.

“Jeez, Y/N-” Dean was in action before you could stop him, moving forward to gently guide you towards the sink. “This might sting for a sec.” Flipping on the faucet he let your put your hand under the flow of water.

“Ive been through much worse, Dee. I think ill live.”

“Im sorry, this was my fault.” Dean sighed, inspecting the slice in your finger.

“Last time I checked I was the one wielding the kitchen knife.”

“I know- but I-” You pressed a finger to his lips, shaking your head. “Don’t. If you wanna really help me you can grab the first aid kit that's in the cupboard.” You nodded your head in the direction you were talking about. “Got it?”

“Mmmhmm.”

Lowering your hand you gave him a soft smile. Why was he always doing that? Blaming himself for no apparent reason. Putting your hand back under the faucet you focused back on the cut until Dean was back at your side.

“Will you at least let me patch you up? To make up for pestering you?” He tried, clicking open the lid and rummaging through it for bandages.

You let out a dramatic sigh before sitting yourself down on the kitchen island. “I guess . . .i mean, it is very hard to say no to that face.”

that got a chuckle out of the hunter before he slotted himself between your legs and carefully taking your cut hand in his to inspect. “I know, I'm a goddamn gift aren't I?”

“Oh, I wouldn't go that far.” You smiled, using your free hand to prop you up as you watched him disinfect and wrap the cut. Every once and awhile Dean would look up from his work, eyes finding yours before giving you an almost timid smile.

Bastard. He really had to stop doing that if the two of you were going to try to continue only being friends. You could hear the little voice in your head screaming arms length away! Arms length away!

At that same moment one Sam Winchester came walking back into the room, hair still wet from his recent shower. At the sight of the first aid kit and the scattered materials he paused on the other side of the island.

“What the hell happened?”

“You're brother stabbed me.” You stated bluntly, sliding back off the granite counter and bumping your chest against Deans as you did. Weasling past him you gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“hey, no I didn't!”

“That’s exactly what a person who just stabbed someone would say.”

“Why you little--” You cut him off yet again, this time handing over the kitchen knife to him with an amused grin. For a moment Dean could see the normal you again, and he couldn't help but smile back.

But something was still there. He could see it under your smile and the glint in your eyes.

“You goin somewhere?”

“Uh, yeah. I called dibs on the shower next. You two can finish up dinner.” Backtracking away you gave them both a wink before disappearing around the corner. Once you had vanished Dean let the facade drop before whirling around to look at his brother.

“What?”

Dean waited another second, making sure you were out of earshot before planting his palms firmly on the island. “Alright, tell me if I’m crazy— but Y/Ns acting a little off isn't she?”

“Off in what way?”

“Off in like- she’s not her usually energetic let’s go kill some monsters attitude.”

“I mean. . .maybe?” The younger Winchester shrugged, not quite understanding what his brother was getting at. “She did say she was spending the week resting up after that rugaru Hunt. She’s probably a little drained from that.”

Dean ran his palms down his face, “yeah, but think about it. Jody said she had been here for almost five weeks. Five, Sam! Five! When have we ever known Y/N to stay in one place for that long? Hell, even during thanksgiving last year she only stayed a few days before running off towards another case.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Dean. Maybe if you’re so worried about her just try talking to her?”

Dean sent his brother another glare. “Have you not seen me trying to do that all day? She just keeps acting like she’s fine- and I know for a fact that she is not.”

Shaking his head in defeat, Sam moved past his brother to continue making dinner. “She loves you Dean. Anyone can see it, and I know you can too. She’ll open up as long as you actually try. And if you love her, you will.”

*        *         *          *

Thankfully Dinner had been more lively than the rest of the day. And for awhile you actually had managed to almost convince Dean you were fine. The three of you spending a good few hours seated at the kitchen table and reminiscing about days gone past. You were cracking jokes again, and laughing at his. From across the table Dean would watch as the corners of your eyes would crinkle and you would double over in laughter. If he could he would stay in this moment forever. One where you all were happy and full of energy.

and then that perfect little image had to fade.

It was almost like you ran out of steam or something because your laughter slowly pattered out and it was like watching you cave in on yourself. You became quiet again, losing yourself in thought as you washed the dishes. Dean couldn't stop himself from glancing over at you each time you passed him a plate or dish to dry. That dullness behind your eyes. Leaning backwards, he made eye contact with his brother. The younger Winchester slowly beginning to see what he was talking about.

“You know what, I can finish up here Y/N. You've already done so much for us.” Sam pipped up, putting a reassuring hand on your back.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Raising your hands in surrender you backed away from the sink. “Well then go for it I guess.” You sighed. “Ill be on the porch if you need me.” retreating from the kitchen once more, you paused at the threshold. “Dean, you comin?”

“Oh, uh- yeah. Yeah ill be out in a sec. Im gonna help Sam finish up.” Dean quickly stuttered. He watched as you gave him a puzzled look before walking away. Not a second later a soapy hand smacked the back of his head.

“Why'd you do that? That was probably the perfect time to talk to her.”

“I. . .Panicked?”

“You-” Sam paused, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You panicked? Since when do you panic around Y/N?”

“I don't know! Sue me!” Dean whisper snapped, rubbing the suds off the back of his head from where his brother had smacked him.

There was another round of silence before a grin slowly spread across Sam's face as he watched his brother. “God, you are so in love with her aren't you?”

“Shut up.”

“Its cute.”

“Dammit Sammy, I said shut up.” Dean growled, wiping his hands off with a towel before throwing it on the counter and walking out of the kitchen and in the direction you had gone.

Dean was expecting to have to search for you, but it only took two steps out the front door to find you. Between the string of yellowish porch lights and the yard lights in the planter boxes you were easy to find. The sun had set hours ago, but the night air was still warm, and the stars were brighter than usual. You were stretched out in the grass, drowning in the sea of life around you as blades of grass tickled the soles of your feet. You were fiddling with the dials of your old radio when you heard the bang of the screen door, looking up.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Sam again?”

“. . .Yeah.” Dean sighed, making his way down the steps before stopping and sitting on the last one. “But its nothing. You dont need to worry.”

“I always worry.”

“I know.’ He paused, watching as you sat up and swung your body around to face him. “You must really like it here.”

You shrugged, setting the radio down in the grass as some oldies playlist softly fell through the speakers. “Yeah. Its quiet here. Unlike every sketchy motel in America.”

“Yeah. You’re right about that.” He lightly chuckled, pausing only for a moment when you got up and moved to sit down next to him, hands wrapped around your knees.

The two of you sat like that for awhile, letting a comfortable silcen fall between you. No words spoken. Just easy silence. During that time it felt like the world had stopped. The only sound being the soft hum of the radio next to you and the even softer drone of katydids and crickets that seemed to come from everywhere. At some point a yellow tabby cat slunk across the grass just beyond reach of the porch lights, jumping up to swat at a lightning bug.

After a few minutes you spoke up again, your voice soft. “Thats another thing I like about you.”

“What?”

“Your a good person to sit with. You always offer silent comfort when needed. Sometimes before I realize I even need it.”

A small smile fell across his lips as he turned his head to look at you, surprised to find you already looking back. You were much closer than he originally realized, and he felt his breath hitch in his throat. You could feel his breath fan across your lips when he exhaled.

God, you were so close- so fucking close. The temptation to close the remainder of the gap between you had Deans heart doing barrel rolls. It was like some silence dance between the two of you, both set of eyes meeting before focusing on lips- and then back up to eyes.

And then the moment was severed when you pulled back, shaking it off.

Dean sucked in a breath after watching you for another moment. “You gonna really tell me what’s going on with you?” He finally spoke, making sure to keep his voice soft as yours, afraid to disturb the serenity laid out in front of you.Somewhere in the distance a dog barked.

“Does it really matter?”

“Yes. Because I’m worried and can see that you aren’t your usual self.”

You didn’t make eye contact, instead you kept your gaze on the tabby stalking through the grass. Why were you so afraid to say it out loud? It had been gnawing at you for days now but actually saying it? And to Dean no less?

“Dean, I think I’m gonna quit hunting.”

SPN Taglist (Still open!)

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[wakandascrystal]

BET. II

Erik x BlackReader

Summary: Erik and his friends place a bet to get with you little does he know who you and family are.

Part 1

......................................

“Ahh Ray Charles.. Ray Sings, Basie Swings. How did you know? I’m going to enjoy this..“ Your father held the vinyl closely reading all the fine print on the back of the casing.

“How could I not? Ray was all you listened to back then. Your one and only obsession.“ You smiled fondly at the older man. He seemed to be really happy about the gift. That made you feel good. Job well done.

He called one of the four men that stood guard around his office. Dressed in black suits with black earpieces. One hurried towards him. With quickness he took the vinyl from his hands and pulled out the vinyl to insert it into the gramophone.

He dropped the needle and Oh, What A Beautiful Morning started playing. Ray Charles voice filling the wide space. Your father's office was the backdrop of your childhood when you were still innocent and hopeful. You used to run between the wooden chairs and hide behind the large curtains. Minding your blissful business.You missed these days but thinking about the past did nothing but let pain into your heart. Now you were back years later, a grown women. Wiser, intelligent and sometimes harsh.

 Your father's smile took you out of your train of thought. He seemed happy these days. You didn't live with him so seeing him was a treat. You would told anyone this but you were much closer to him the your mother. There were reasons for that, none that made your mother seem unfit but you felt more willing to share your woes and problems with your father. It just felt right.

Next moment the guards left, moving swiftly and closed the door behind them. Offering much needed privacy. While they left he poured himself a glass of whiskey. 

“Thats is not true, Ray is not my only obsession...speaking of..how is your Mother doing?“ He carried on the conversation as if nothing had happened.

“For a divorced couple you both do sure ask about each other a lot.“ You placed your bag on his wooden table and sat down on the leather chairs. Your large dreadlocks laid down the sides of your body. 

“She is the Mother of my beautiful children how could I not care about her well being Y/N?“ He was being sarcastic to cover up his true feelings. He felt bad that you had figured him out already. He sometimes forgets how in ture you are with people's motives and emotions.if only he knew that you didn't judge him one bit. You loved that he wanted her back but you couldn't make your mom fall for him. Not after what happened. 

“I guess, but I know you miss her ...and not in that way in the other way...in the making a 4th child way.“ You took a sip of his whiskey since you already decided to be cheeky with him.

“Y/N!! I am your father!!“ He gently reminds you.  

“And I am your daughter, who can see through your bullshit....I have a good idea! Marry her again!!“

“Y/N!“

“Okay I'm sorry about swearing but you know i'm right.“ You cross your legs and arms.

He leaned back and siped what was left of his whisky. A coy smile on his face thinking about his ex wife.

“How are the twins by the way?” 

“They are fine. Somewhere in Spain, partying. They are young, Dad. Let them live okay. Don't do what you did with me.  Look, now i'm a introverted bitch who cares more about her hair care collection than a real relationship. Call them ...ask how they are doing...show them ...that you care even if it looks small. We love affection.“

“Okay I won't be strict on the boys and ill send them love letters every 2 seconds”

You rolled your eyes

“- But your mother will defendant be strict with them. I can't help you there. Speaking about relationships..you still up on my offer?”

You let out a sigh thinking about his offer. 

“No..I love you dad but i have to decline.I appreciate it I really do but..but you know I'm not a fan of your line of work... and I know what your gonna say. The money raised us, yes and it came when we really needed it. It's a double standard but I can't have someone with such a risky ...lifestyle. I worry about you and Uncle Ronny too much already. Just for my piece of mind I can't go out with the men you have in mind.“ 

“Don't worry sweetheart. Your old man understands.“

“I mean do you know any teachers, bus drivers, an IT guy...hell you know any barrestas.“ He laughed and your sense of humour.

He was glad you were very open with him. Unlike your younger brothers you had reached maturity that surprised him but sometimes you being alone with no one did worry him. 

“Dad Im happy. Don't worry. I really dont need a man. I'm good.“ You tried to convince him.

“I wouldn't be this...concerned if ...if you were active.“ 

“No! I'm not having this conversation with you.“  You were shocked. He had due restriction when it came to your sex life.

“Baby listen you can't be ...scared your whole life. I know what happened when you were young and I know how damaging that experience was to you. You were so young and brave-.“

You cut him off.

“Brave? I wasn't brave dad. I just.....I just layed there and he-” Your voice cracked. You squeezed your thighs remembering the pain “..I Know I can't think like that, that a man who wants me will treat me that way but ...it's so hard. The thought of opening up to a stranger ..it's bit crazy.” 

You wanted him to knew you were afraid but at the say time you didn't. You wanted to live up to this strong daughter image but you had your moments of weakness. Bearing them deep in your soul was better than reliving them. 

“You forgave him, made some calls and you took care of him.”

“Is that what we calling murder now.“ You pushed your hair back.

“You know you didn't have to do it.“ He leaned back into his chair. The smirk on your face worried him.

“I'm glad I did.“

“but... you became stronger. I dont think you should let that event lead you stray from love..potential love. You are-”

“Putting a bullet through his head was never going to take the pain away.“ You whispered

“Does it make me a bad person that I loved the sound of his ...agony... The scream he let out when Uncle Ronnie started cutting off his fingers. Does that make me a bad person?” You voice was soft and dry.

“You wanted revenge....Anyone would have. You a good girl Y/N. You deserve to be happy, I'll make sure of it. If anyone tries anything. I mean anything with you. They so much as move a hair out of place. Call me and they will wish they were never born.“

You wink at him trying to lighten the heavy mood

“Speaking of that..... I did met someone!“ You looked down fearing his reaction. It was bad timing but you wanted him to know 

“Really now?“ he looked surprised.

“Yes..and I have his number. He seemed kind and he said he came out of a bad break up about a year ago. I'm not sure about him but he..he made feel comfortable.“

”Well I’m very happy to hear that. When are you planning to meet the young man.“

“I’m not sure maybe tomorrow maybe next week, maybe never.“ 

“Okay then. Tell me when you or if you do meet him. But I do need to leave unfortunately. I'm leaving the country for a bit. Business of course but please do get comfortably. I will see you in 4 days.“

You got up from your chair and gave your father a hug. He was warm and large just how you liked. Your face rested on his chest. Hearing his calm heart beat.

“Thank you for being understanding, for being patient with me and supportive. Please stay safe and come back in one piece.“

“Always. Now please. Get some rest. Eat something.” He gave you a kiss on the cheek and you left his office.

You strolled making your way to your ride. You instructed Frank, your driver to take you to the Hilton hotel. You had been living there since you arrived. The suite you booked was beautiful and you wish you could live there forever. There were no memory, no stress, no anxiety, no fears. when you layed in your bubble bath in the lavish hotel room you at peace. Milky bubble bath sat still around your curvy brown form, hair up away from the fragranced  soapy water. 

You remember telling your father you didn't need a man. That was true you didn't need one but having someone would be nice. The gilded hotel rooms, marble floors and first class flights to any country. They would be so much better with someone. Someone who cared and loved you. Maybe giving Someone a chance would a right start but you really didn't want to date. The process seemed tedious and time consuming. 

But Erik seemed....different. Well that's what you thought. He was a gorgeous black man, there was question about that but beautiful men are everywhere. Your priority was finding someone with a good heart, maybe some who is simple. No flashy lifestyle. Someone would have patience and be slow with you.

Taking a chance climbed out of the warm tub heading to get your phone on the messy bed...Wrapped in a towel you decided to call him.

***************************

“You are a punk, look hoe I'm beating your ass.“ Erik shouted

They were in a heated basketball video game. The guys had brought drinks, weed and snacks to Coles place. It was a friday so they wanted to unwind. 

“Trey, I will body you next round I swear. How could you let this fool win.”  Jadyn complained 

“...And you put money on this nigga.“ Trey called Cole out.

“”What? I thought I could win...I really did have it..“

“Don't lie! You never had it.“ Erik mocked him.

“Ahh I wouldn't be talking if I was you ...shawty still hasn't texted your ass..“ Cole gave back the same energy.

“..She will ..just give her time.“ Erik really didn't expect you to take time long to text him. It pissed him off. He underestimated your thirst.

Any girl with half a brain would have texted him by now.  He was used to that. There was no instant gratification with you. He felt ashamed a bit that you didn't fall to his feet and he tried to avoid talking about the bet.

“..Stop all that..just reload the next game..i'm going to the bathroom... “

He up and left. Minutes later he heard Cole telling him he had a phone call from an unknown number.

“Let it ring...“ He shouted back as he dried his hands

“So E who’s calling you so late. Its almost 11. Early booty call.“

Erik made his way back to the living room.

“Nah all my booty calls are saved. I have Friday Linda big Titties, double cheek up Nikki, Lisa Titties could be bigger ....and my absolute favorite.....Nasty Keke. Now that bitch is crazy. “

“Call it back maybe it's an important call from the hospital or something.“ He stopped playing the game.

“Man why would you say that...playing with my guilty conscious and shit.“

He dialed up the number and called it.

It would be an understatement to say he did not expect your voice. It was sweet with just enough of nervousness to make it sound more attractive.

“Hey“ Erik’s voice involentarly went high as well and all the 3 men in the room with him looked at him. 

“Are you alone?“ You asked. Erik signaled them to turn of the games and stay quiet then proceed to put the call on speaker.

“Yeah It's just me. I..I didn't expect you to call.“ 

“Oh ...Im sorry. Its just I feel like calling is better? Don't you think?“ You waited for him to answer. Tip toeing around your room. 

“Don't apologise...I mean..Yeah..Calls are more personal. Makes the person in the other end feel..... real.“ 

All 3 men knew Erik was talking shit but for a small moment Erik forgot about the Bet. It was actually nice to have a female call him like this. It had never happened before. They always just texted him. Texted him where to pick them up and when to. They never really wanted to get to know him. 

“Did your father like the gift?“ He asked 

“Yes, he did. He’s a big fan of Ray.“ You hated how nervous you were. It really annoyed you. You didn't understand because you weren't this emotional when you meet him back at the music store. Why did you feel like this now. You liked how deep his voice was, You tried not to be affected by its smoothness.

“ - and hows that heart of yours?“ Erik remembered the lie he had told before.

“His doing much better now that you called. You made a brother wait 2 weeks.”  You let out a playful laugh

“Believe or not but I have other things to deal with...but you're very corny Sir. Do you know that?“

“Yes. I'm just trying to be myself. Corny all day. How was your day Y/N?“

“Well, I facetimed my brothers, Dwayne and Dean. They on vacation right now. Then I visited my dad. I actually gave him the ...gift today. Now i'm at home...its a hotel but still.. Nothing much really and you? A handsome man like you surely has tons of women -“

Erik knew that in order to gain your trust he had to destroy any doubt you might have about him. That yeah, a tall, handsome man could be available like that.

“Its 11: 20 and Im on the phone with you ..what women?”

The line went silent for too long. You didn't know what say. Erik and his friends could hear your soft breaths. You were lying face up on the bed now.

“You still there“ he asked.

“There’s a Japanes restaurant downtown... Nine o'clock sharp. Tomorrow.“ You hold your breath.

Erik stood up and did a victory dab and the men smiled

“Let me pick you up, Where do you live?“

“No you dont have to...you know what yes“ Erik thought your outburst was strange but he didn't dwell to much on it.

But that would be hard to explain. Why you had a 6.2ft armed guard following you at all times ....at any given moment he was always next to you. You didn't want him to see that. It would be too early to explain to him. Joe, your bodyguard didn't like leaving you alone. He would meet your father's wrath if anything happen to you. So you would have to talk to him and make sure he stays low.

You would just cross that bridge when you got there.

 “......Yeah. I'm excited.“

You regretted saying that. It just came out to fast. You really didn't want Erik to think you were forward.

“Me too.“ Your heart melted a little. For some reason you thought he would make fun of you.

“Have a nice night Erik. I'm going to bed now."

"Okay goodnight Princess."

You bit you lip and hung up before you moaned out loud. Rolling around in bed you giggled from the adrenaline from the pet name paired up with his voice. You couldn't believe what you just did. You felt a sense of victory. You felt proud of yourself. You hoped Erik felt the same.

**************

He hung up and the boys went wild with excitement.

" fuck that....I'm not letting you anywhere near my girl no more. You too smooth nigga." Trey said laughing with excitement.

"She eat that shit up like breakfast. I hope yall have got my cash ready."Erik said 

“You better send us some evidence though.“ Trey reminded him

“Yeah whatever. I need to leave anyway get ready for my date and shit. I think i'll stop by Tati’s house first. That girl knows how to throw it back. I'm out.“ He got his belongings and left. Meanwhile you left to call Joe. He had rather stand guard outside the hotel door then inside. He liked to give you your private space. You called him. 

“Joe could you come in for a bit i need to talk to you.“

“Sure.“ By the time you had slipped into pjs he was standing in the living room area.

“Joe...Please take a seat. There is something i need to tell you....“

“Yes “ the incredibly large man sat down legs wide on the soft couch.

“I'm going on a date tomorrow.“ You would be lying if you said you didn't expect his reaction to the new.

“..and who the fuck is that punk.“

Joe had watched you grow up in front of his eyes. he was assigned to you when you were 12. He knew you better than most people in your life so he cared for you a lot and he had his own way of showing it.

“Joe please. He’s nice. And he's taking me out tomorrow.“

“Is he that nigga that was bugging you at that music shop. Him and his friends were acting too fresh for my liking. Eyeing you like a piece of meat. “

“okay i get it men are weird but the reason i called you in ..was to ask you ...to not come.“

“Forget it. If something happens to you ..your father will kill me.“

“I know...Its just i dont want him to know. Can you at least just keep a low profile.“

“Okay. I'll try...but if he so much as hurts you ill...“ You covered his mouth quickly.

“I think you forgetting that i can take care of myself.“

***********************************

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[50-percent-winchester-sister]

The Emo Phase

THIS IS MY FIRST SISTER WINCHESTER ONE SHOT PLEASE DONT HATE IT I CRIII

Dean: 26

Sam: 22

Y/N: 15

When you were 15, that’s when you had an emo phase, and Sam and Dean were NOT pleased

You had a short temper and a prissy attitude and they were not having any of it. You wore all black and according to Dean ‘slutty’ clothes, which made you more mad at him

You snuck out all the time and each time they got tired of you so Sam grounded you for 2 months

“What? You can't ground me what the fu-”

“I think I just did. Room. Now.”

And when Sam grounds you, you know you can't get out of it easily. Even so, instead of being a good kid and saying sorry, you slammed and locked your door.

You were so mad you balled your hand into a fist and shattered your mirror and threw the stuff that was on your dresser on the floor. Let’s just say, your room didn’t deserve the things you did to it.

About an hour or so later your energy drained because you were mad at Sam. Mad at Dean. Mad at yourself

You cried for hours and when you woke up you looked like a mess with red puffy eyes

Until it hit you. You woke yourself up, Dean didn’t come in and call you Princess, he hasn’t in a while…

You opened your door and walked to the kitchen doorframe to see Sam and Dean at the kitchen table, Sam on his laptop and Dean drinking a beer looking at the newspaper.

You just stood there silently for a minute until you decided to walk past them to get something to drink

Dean looks up and sees you saying “There’s our little ball of sunshine” sarcastically

“Bite me” “Hey I’m not the one who got grounded by Sammy”

“Whatever don’t talk to me” You grab yourself a glass of milk and go to your room to get dressed for school.

You walk into your room and “Wow...Did I do all of that?” You were so filled with adrenaline and hate you blocked out most of what happened last night after you got grounded

You got dressed and went into the kitchen to achieve your backpack, glasses and the ribbon your mom got you.

“Y/n your rooms a mess you’re gonna clean it up when you get back fro-”

“Yeah no shit, it's not like I’m gonna keep it that way, Sam”

You didn’t want to stay there any longer and decided to walk to school. Your school is a few miles away and one of your brothers usually takes you, but you could bare being near them right now.

You were already 20 minutes late to first hour and frankly, you didn’t give two flying fucks

You decided to skip 1st hour because honestly they're’s no point on going anymore

You skipped second hour because you hated the teacher and skipped third hour because that teacher always gives you a hard time.

In fourth hour (the hour you FINALLY decided to come to class) you got sent to the councilors office

“Are you Y/n m/n Winchester dear?”

“Yeah, why?”

“The principals have contacted your guardians to come to this school to pick you up, you’re suspended for 4 days”

“Wait for WHAT? What did I even do??”

“We’ll talk about that once your guardians are here”

Your back is turned away from the door and once you heard that door open you KNOW you’re done for. For the first time in a while, you’re scared to be near your brothers.

“Are you two Sam and Dean Winchester?”

“Yes we are, hello”

Sam on your left and Dean on your right, you can't leave even if you tried

“We have called you in here today to inform you that y/n has been suspended for 4 days due to breaking Sabrina Gillie’s nose and breaking Callie Monoys’ arm”

'Oh right… that’s what I did' you thought while trying to remain calm

It was silent for a few moments which felt like forever

“Thank you so much for telling us we’ll take the right disciplinary action”

You, Sam and Dean, walked out of the office and were walking through the hallways to get to the Impala.

You usually like quiet but right now you were going insane.

You hated the silence, it was digging into your skin like needles

You, Sam and Dean, were in the impala when the silence broke in 3...2...1...

"Y/n, what the hell were you thinking?" Dean says with venom in his voice

"Yeah okay, ask me what I was thinking and not what they were thinking, sure do that"

"Son of a bitch y/n I know you think you're 'so' cool now but dammit come on, you broke a girl's nose and another girl's arm"

"Fucking hell Dean it's not like I 'wanted' to do it, they deserved it!"

"No more out of you Y/n, once we get in the bunker you're going straight to your room and staying there, you got me?"

"No," you say like a calm but dark undertone.

"Excuse me?" Sam says looking back at you

"I said no, me, Claire and her friend Alex are hanging out tonight at Claire's house"

"The hell you are," Sam says "You're still grounded, missy"

"Do NOT call me missy you asshole, and screw you I can just sneak out"

"I'll lock your door"

"I can go out the window"

"you're room is upstairs"

"I have my ways, Sam"

"THAT'S IT!! Y/n, I'm tired of you acting like just because you're our sister you can get away with the shit you're doing!" Sam says as he wipes his face with his hands

"That's not-"

" No! I don't want to do this but Dean, you think we should send her to Jody's for a few days?"

"WHAT?" You say in a piercing, sinister scream enough to make Dean stop the car and look back at you

"I am NOT going to Jody's! You can't make me, Sam!"

"If you don't want to go to Jody's, then all this attitude of yours has gotta stop, okay?"

You three finally are at the bunker and you get out of the Impala before it fully stops and head inside and ran up to your room. You stayed in there for a good two hours cleaning up, but its because you wanted to, not because of Sam and Dean. It's 7:25 pm when you heard Dean call your name, reluctantly, you did as told. "Me and Sammy are going on a hunt, you need anything while we're out?"

All you did was look down and shake your head no and walk back to your room. no "Ill miss you two" or "Be safe, call me and ill be there," just....silence, and honestly Dean didn't know if he should be nervous or not.

You turned your phone off because honestly, you didn't want to be bothered by anyone, all by yourself with your thoughts. 'Wow I'm such a disappointment to them' 'Im such an awful sister, they want to send me away to Jody' 'God why can't I just do shit right for once?"

They left a note on the kitchen counter saying they will be back by later tonight so you thought of making them some pie, Karjalanpiirakka. Karelian Pie that Claire taught you how to make a couple of years ago

When it was finished you decided to clean up the kitchen, library and living room while you still had the time by yourself. When you were done, saying you were happy for yourself is an understatement, you were damn proud! It was 2 am by the time you settled down and watched Spiderman-Homecoming on the big tv screen.

About an hour later Sam and Dean enter the bunker and looked honest to god shocked on how clean it was.

"Sammy? Do you see this shit? Are we high?" 'Yeah I see it, you think she's okay?"

They see you sleeping on the couch, sitting up and Sam walks up to you and wakes you up, he says "Why don't you sleep on your own bed bugaboo, it's more comfortable there" "Its alright Sammy, I was trying to stay awake for when you two came back home to make sure you two were alright"

A smile was dragged across Sam's face when you said that, he like this, he liked this y/n, the y/n you used to be before all...this happened

You walked over to Dean and asked if he was okay and he said only a few manageable cuts. you nodded and walked to your room to sleep.

When you left Sam said to Dean "You think that Jody trick worked?" "That was a trick?" "Of course it was Dean, I know she loves Jody but even if she doesn't like being away from us for that long" "well I guess we'll see tomorrow."

When you woke up you ran downstairs to see your brothers in the kitchen, Sam making breakfast and Dean at the kitchen table talking to Sam. Sam notices you and smiles, "Mornin Sunshine. since you're still grounded you're getting waffles instead of pancakes." You look at him for a second and start to laugh. He looks at Dean, then back to you, "What?" "That's the best you got? pfft come on Sammy you can discipline me harder" you say during laughing fits. "Okay then, no breakfast?" "That's more like it"

You start to walk to your room when you turn around and asked Sam "Hey Sam?" "Yeah?" "I-" You realize if you asked him, you would cry in front of him, and you don't want that. "I- Nevermind its nothing. I'll be in the training room if you two need me" You turn around to walk into the training room and start working out. an hour and thirty minutes later you turn around to see Sam with his arms folded leaning on the door frame

"Oh, hey," you say out of breath

"Hey yourself. What were you wanting to say to me a while ago?" You looked a bit shaken up but you let out an "Its nothing I said, don't worry 'bout it." Sam looks a little bit worried but with everything that's going on with you, he needs you to talk. "Come on bugaboo, let's talk and Dean doesn't have to know unless you want him to" "Sam its nothing okay? Drop it" "y/n-" "Sam, dammit I said I don't want to talk" Sam jumped at the sudden snap of your voice. "I'll be in the library if you want to talk"

You're in your room doing fuck all since Dean took your phone and your tv when you hear a knock on your door.

"Its Dean can I come in?" "......Yeah"

Dean comes in and sees you laying down on the floor with red eyes.

"Talk to me, why did you go all 'hulk' on Sammy?"

"No, I don't want to"

"Sucks to be you, Princess, you don't have a choice"

"The hell I don't" you sit up and turn to him "You can't make me Dean"

"The hell I cant" mocking you "I'm not leaving till you decide to make this into a chick flick moment"

"I thought you hate chick flick moments"

"Yeah I do, now talk y/n"

"Dean I cant"

"What do you mean you cant?"

"Dean I-, I just cant"

"So you want Sam to take you to Jody's and keep you there?"

".....No"

"Then talk princess"

You high in defeat "It's complicated"

"Well you better find the right words hon, or its gonna be a long night"

Dean walks away and you feel like you just left earths void.

Dinner was grossly quiet, and you knew it was because of you. After dinner, Sam and Dean left to go to the library to read up on some lore and thirty minutes later you walk up to the library door frame and just stood there for a solid minute and they didn't notice you. "Hey." They jump at your voice and look at you "Hey y/n" they both said in unison. "I just wanna say sorry for the way I've been acting lately. I've been a total dick towards you guys when I know you two are just looking out for me. I bet I was hell to raise and pulling this shit is just adding more stress to you guys"

They both had a face of both shock and...relief?

"Y/n, come here," Sam says. You hesitate but you do so anyway "You have no idea how happy I am that you said that" He gives you a big moose hug and you hugged him back. "And yes you were absolute hell to raise" "Dean!" "What? She said it not me" You laugh and let go of Sam to hug Dean. "Sammy?" "Yes?" "No Jody's?" "No Jody's" you right in relief. "Not unless you start acting like miss priss again" You fastly stare at Dean "Call me that again and I'll show you a miss priss" Sam and Dean both laugh. "Am I still grounded?" Sam laughs and says "You got suspended of course you are" You frown and that's when Sam said "Two weeks." You turn to see him and smiled brightly. You start walking away when you say "God I love you boys" under your breath, but nevertheless they heard you and you know they'll be teasing you about it for weeks

[ninaahelvar]

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (11/23)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: WEDDINGS ARE A GREAT PLACE FOR DISASTER, DIDN'T YOU HEAR?? 👀👀👀👀

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

7:30am - Sansa: you guys….i look amazing 

7:31am - Jon: k? 

7:31am - Sansa: bitch dont ‘k’ me, i am a delight 

7:32am - Bran: your personality tho…

7:32am - Bran: 

7:34am - Arya: what if i said i look amazing

7:34am - Rickon: rare. Suspiciously optimistic. Must be true. 

7:35am - Robb: agree with the above sentiment

7:35am - Bran:  i believe her 

7:36am - Arya: i’m also wearing what sansa is wearing, so we’re both equally beautiful, now compliment the eldest daughter before i murder everyone

7:36am - Arya:  including you robb, don’t think I’ll go easy on you just cause you’re getting married 

 *~*~*

 7:40am - Sansa: 😘

7:40am - Arya: 😘

Arya threw her phone aside as she tried to think of shoes that she could get away with. The heels were a pale blue colour, but the height of them frightened her more than any other heel she was challenged with in her life. She’d be about Rickon’s height in them, which felt like a lot when she stood in front of her mirror. She knew she wasn’t tall, but the heels made it obvious that she was like a stunted idiot. 

But their height was going to be the give away that she wasn’t wearing said torture devices. Pulling the strap onto the back of her ankle, she stood with the cascading silk running over her body, and from once she thought of herself as a woman masquerading in the beauty, it had now become her - for that how she always saw herself. Her make up had been done that morning alongside Sansa, the two sisters chatting over coffee that was fuelling their lucidity. They were excited for the coming day. 

Arya and Sansa had come up with a code around others when regarding Gendry. If they wanted to keep Arya’s happiness a secret for a little while longer, he was referred to as Joe. He was Arya’s boyfriend, and that she was seeing that day, he was going to the wedding, but he wouldn’t be able to stay long. 

From the information Arya gathered before the two were separated, was that Sansa’s boyfriend wasn’t attending at all. Arya knew that was a lie because Theon was one of the best men. Maybe it was because he was forced to attend, not just being her date. Made sense to Arya. 

Then, Arya got changed. She slipped into the dress and was left to get her things in order. There were still a few hours between then and when the wedding was meant to start. The girls had gotten up early due to the excitement. It was the first time one of their siblings was getting married and it was exhilarating. 

Overall, she just wanted to see Gendry. 

Since the dress fitting, it felt like the two months flew by without a breath in between. It took away most of her free time with the planning and helping out where she could. So, less time for Gendry, less kisses and all around job. But they found some spare moments to hide away and enjoy the seconds they could spend with one another. 

It meant everything to her that he dropped just about everything to be by her side. 

Well, given that every time she messaged him, she said it was an emergency, and he came running - it meant he was doing his job correctly. But still, she loved watching his face fall from horror to joy when she stood coyly at a cupboard door. 

Arya sent a text. SOS. 

Gendry replied, asking to meet her round side of the palace. 

She knew his spot.

Picking up the ends of her skirt, she went racing down the steps, a smile pinned into her face and there wasn’t any use trying to hide it.

 *~*~*

 Gendry had shrunk away to the side, making sure that his position wasn’t compromised in his absence. It would only be for a few minutes. He just needed a second. With the wedding and everything, it became harder and harder to fulfill his role as personal bodyguard, as he was subjected to be an everything sorta guy. He was on perimeter, for the palace and the churches venue. It wasn’t far off the palace grounds, as a Stark wedding needed to be close to the Godswood for part of the ceremonies purposes. Gendry wasn’t subjected to know what any of that would entail.

So, for the short time, he allowed himself to smoke, to set the edge off and allow himself to relax. It wouldn’t be long before Arya got there, and sneaking one in wouldn’t hurt. She kept getting mad at him for the sudden habit, but it had been something he had tried to stop since he started his job. It was an old army thing that he hadn’t quite shaken - it just helped with nerves that wouldn’t shake loose. 

“I thought we agreed that the smoking was going to stop,” he heard a voice nearby. He turned, seeing a radiant visage in front of him. He had never thought Arya could look anymore beautiful than when she was in that ball gown all those months ago, but she had just kept stunning him every day. That day, in that dress, she was like a walking goddess, someone that had stepped out from heaven to grant him some form of miracle. 

“You look beautiful,” he said, cigarette still in between his lips. Arya walked the distance between them, taking the cigarette out, letting it drop to the floor and he lifted his heel to stamp it out instead of her heels. 

She grinned before she replied. “I know.” 

“You’re gonna be amazing today,” he said, reaching over to her, taking hold of her waist as he fell back against the wall. From his positon, they were nearly the same height, though Arya was still a few inches from him. Arya’s arms went up and around the back of his neck, falling into his easily. 

“You think so? All I’m really doing is standing around looking pretty,” she 

“You’re already doing it, so you’re gonna nail this,” 

“Shut up,” she said, sneaking into his space and kissing him. Gendry sighed as her lips touched his. 

The crawling sensation that ran up his spine made him feel queasy, that he needed to grab hold of the gun on his hip. Something was wrong but he couldn’t work out what. He pulled away from Arya, holding onto her hips tightly as his forehead rested against hers. “Hey, is something bothering you? I feel like somethings off?” 

“No? I feel fine,” Arya shrugged. Gendry couldn’t shake it, like something was in the air that clung to bad energy. Arya sighed, hand running up the back of his neck and fingers lacing into his hair, “come here,” she said, and before he could ask, her lips were on his again, more fully and deepening like she meant for it to lead back to her room. He couldn’t argue with that. Hands roaming around the back of her waist, he pulled her flush against her, hand sliding down her back and finding the round softness of her ass. “You nervous now?” she asked, pulling away. A need tugged at the pit of his stomach. 

“I’m going to lie and say no, because I want you to kiss me again,” he replied with a smirk.

“Your wish is granted,” she smiled before pulling him down once more. He guessed he was right - he was definitely there to grant him some form of miracle. 

 *~*~*

 As 9:30am came around, Gendry was in personal bodyguard role. They had to make a royal entrance, the church on the property, but in order to feel more open with the public - it was the first televised wedding, with almost full access to the people, after all. So, they were to do a full, formal parade out of the palace grounds before re-entering and welcoming all the guests. 

Gendry rode in Arya and Sansa’s car, the windows wide and the ability to see inside made Gendry’s stomach ache from all the possibilities. It didn’t matter though, as they continued on, waving to the people of the nearby town. Gendry even saw his mum out, waving frantically to his car. He smiled before returning to his concern. Overall, the entire thing went off without a hitch.

For Northern weddings, everything was different to what Gendry knew in the South. Regardless of family members part in the wedding, they needed to greet the bride or groom as a formed pack. Everything was about unity, especially family - the introduction of a new member was fital to the survival. There had been times in the past where Northerners wouldn’t attend their siblings wedding, as a sign of disrespect and ill-trust of the one entering the family. 

That wouldn’t be the case on that day. 

Each guard took their respective person down the aisle of the church. Robb was waiting alongside Jon, then it was Sansa and Sandor, then Arya and Gendry, followed by Bran and Pod, then finally Rickon and Osha. 

Robb was dressed in his military uniform, a bright red coat with a bright blue sash over his chest. Over his shoulders sat a traditional wolf pelt, synthetic fur as times changed, that all Starks wore - each gifted one when they were born and would use on certain occasions - marriage, birthdays, coronations, and finally when they were laid to rest. It was morbid, sure, but the North was built on traditions.

Along the way, Robb was making a grimacing face, the two sisters looking at each other before Sansa gestured to the side. From the corner of his eye, he saw the person that, under any other circumstance would have the girls screaming in joy, but they contained themselves. 

Arya reached into the pocket of her dress and quickly typed out something. His phone went off a moment later with the notification. Gendry checked, and rolled his eyes. 

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: IS FUCKING RICHARD MADDEN AT THE WEDDING?!?! IRGHWORIGOWR GUYS SOMEONE GET A SCREENSHOT I’M GONNA FUCKING DIE

Gendry pocketed his phone in his breast pocket once more, leaning down to Arya. “Stop tweeting about Richard Madden,” he whispered. Arya scoffed, putting her phone away and stopping as Sansa kneeled before Robb. 

“He’s right there, Gendry! How am I not meant to -” 

“We get it, he looks like your brother, but you have to admit, Maisie Williams looks a hell of a lot like you,” he reminded. 

“She wishes she looked like me,” she scowled, before moving off and Gendry moved to the wall. He had to stay there for the entire ceremony, unless he felt like Arya’s life was in danger. Any moment he was with her, his mind raced with that possibility, but he was on extra alert in case someone got ballsy for the occasion. 

His hands behind his back, he watched Arya stand next to her sister and brothers, the perfect line of Starks, authority ranging down the line. From his attention on Arya, Gendry heard a giggling close by and a cocky scoff at his side. Rolling his eyes, Gendry jabbed his elbow into Podrick’s side. 

“Please stop making eyes at the other royals here,” Gendry groaned under his breath. Pod shifted beside Gendry, turning to him as he rubbed at his side. 

“Not like they’d touch you with a ten foot pole,” Osha replied nearby and Gendry held in a laugh that desperately wanted to come out. Podrick straightened out and moved back to his original position to look at Bran in his chair. After the accident, it seemed like he became a little more reckless than before - wheeling himself back and balancing there, much to Rickon’s delight. 

“You’d be surprised how they want to touch me,” Pod said and both Gendry and Osha groaned in disgust. 

“God I wish I could use this gun on you and then myself,” Osha said, adjusting her uniform. Gendry always found that Osha didn’t like being a bodyguard - not for royalty anyway - she found the strictness of it all to be too confining, and dispised most of the people around her. She only really cared about Rickon, which got her in good graces with the King and Queen. 

“We’re not allowed to use our guns for personal use,” Podrick reminded.

“I don’t think that’s what they mean,” Gendry said, then poked his head out to see Osha,  “but he is right.” 

“Not like I’d ever get any repercussions for it,” she countered. 

Gendry raised his brow in surprise, nodding as he realised she was right too. “Stop making it seem like a fun idea.” He shook his head at it. 

She scoffed, fixing up her knotted bun when Rickon waved to her. “It is when Pod’s around.” 

It wasn’t long before music started to play, heads turned to the open doors, and the hundreds of people at the gates turned from average cheering to deafening wails of joy. Gendry took one look at Robb, who had to remain facing the opposite way, smile to himself. Jon leaned over, whispering something to him. It only made Robb laugh. 

Gendry wondered, in a very selfish way, if on his wedding day it would be like that, to be a spectacle in front of many, but joy filling him regardless of the attention. He would just be happy that Arya would be walking towards him, in whatever she would feel comfortable in, a beautiful and elegant woman that blew him away with every passing second. 

He hadn’t realised it when it was running through his mind, that marrying would entail Arya, and only Arya. It was selfish, and quite possibly cocky, but as he looked at her, her cheeks plump with rosy delight, he didn’t care. Gendry wanted to marry Arya Stark, the third in line for the throne, but her title meant nothing to him. It was just her. 

When she walked down, the voices and heads kept a good view of Talisa, but when she came into his line of sight, Gendry felt like Robb was a very lucky man. She was the perfect vision of a waiting bride and future royal all in one. 

Talisa wore a white dress with grey finishings, leaves and vines scattering the skirt, with the bodice resembling that of holding the whole garment together. It was something that a forgein bride would wear, as wolves were customary in the northern designs. What Talisa wore was exotic, regal, and the tiara that sat upon her head was wrapping vines meeting at the jewel - held together by two opposing wolves. It was the only wolf attire that she wore. 

In all, she looked like she were transitioning to a Stark, a slow and gradual way, though many of the royals considered her family already. Ygritte followed behind, flowers in hand as the bridesmaid. She forced a smile, seemingly uncomfortable with being a spectacle, but soon, she went to her place as a bridesmaid as Talisa went to next stage in her progress into becoming a Stark. 

At the foot of the alter, the Stark children greeted Talisa. A hand to the left side of the chest, a vow to love with all their hearts and welcoming her to the pack. They would kiss her cheek on either side and bow before going to their seat. Bran was unable to bow, per say, so instead, he let his head fall, to which Talisa kissed at his crown. When he looked back up to her, a bright smile, like one that he had been ashamed to show, came out in full force. 

Arya, who looked like she wanted to embrace Talisa more than just give her a sign of respect, beamed a smile and whispered something to her future sister in law. As Arya went to her spot beside Ygritte, followed soon after by Sansa. Jon was even given a moment of respect from Talisa before she was met by the King and Queen. King Ned had regained most of his mobility, but occasionally required a cane to help him around. On this day, he looked like a mighty King, proud and regal as any other healthy king. To that, Talisa knelt all the way to the floor, her dress fanning out, her head bowed to them as they rested hands on either shoulder, speaking good wishes upon her marriage. Then, as they departed for their seats, it was finally time for Robb to see his wife to be. 

When he turned, Gendry understood the joy, a smile breaking out onto Robb’s lips that captivated his entire face, making the wrinkles around his eyes even more pronounced. He chuckled as he saw her, and she did the same, their dignities lost to the joy they felt coming together in a union they had decided upon.  

The ceremony was as dragging as any other wedding Gendry had been to - they weren’t as exciting as others made them out to be. Yet, the intriguing part was a portion of the ceremony that was seen by only the bride and groom, their priest, and gods - to take place in the Godswood. From what Gendry remembered, it was very important that the Godswood was respected, as it would bless the couple with good fortune, children, and health throughout their marriage. He wasn’t sure what was said, but when they had returned, they held hands, bound together with a red ribbon, keeping their union together. 

The interesting part for Gendry was now, Talisa wore Robb’s cloak. It hung off her shoulders in a heavy garment, but she didn’t seem to mind. She still looked like she belonged amongst the family that stood before him. 

They exchanged a kiss for the public and cheers were heard roaring from beyond the church’s walls. Gendry smirked, joining in on the gathering applause for the newly wed. 

As the royals left the church, Gendry and the other guards all took stations to make sure they were secure as they made their way to the palace. It wasn’t a long journey by any means, but it was to be safe nevertheless. Once instead, they all moved to the top balcony, one in which the people waiting at the gates could see. Gendry waited inside the palace, keeping an eye on everyone as they passed through. Arya gave him a wink as she went through the doors and he smiled to himself. 

Then, as Robb and Talisa made their way onto the balcony, the people roared to life once more, celebrating the married couple. They kissed and embraced without restraint. It wasn’t common for royalty to be outwardly affectionate to the public, but they were - they couldn’t help themselves. Gendry knew, if he lived a different life, he’d always be seen with Arya, giving her every ounce of affection he had to offer her. 

Coming in from the balcony, the royal family were gathered, arranging when and where everyone was needed for coming photoshoots. Arya snuck to the pack of people alongside Gendry, hiding them from sight, and finally having a moment alone. In a split second between worry and longing, he reached down between them. Gendry held her hand, winding his fingers with hers in the depths of the crowd. In his mind, Gendry was hyper aware that people were around, but in the chaos of a loving day, he didn’t care. He wanted to hold hands with the princess that was his girlfriend. He wanted to love her as freely in public as in private. Looking up to him, fingers tightening around his own, her smile told him that she was feeling the same. 

The commotion of a coming opportunity to act like idiots the family was used to doing, Arya bound towards her siblings, and Gendry was whisked around to keep an eye on them all from the sidelines. With predictions on course, all the Stark siblings climbed over each other, posing with Talisa who joined in on the joy of being an idiot amongst idiots. When they decided they all had to climb on top of Bran’s wheelchair, Catelyn finally chimed in and got them to behave. 

After taking formal photos, they gathered downstairs in the ballroom for the guests that had arrived from nations far and wide. In the midst of the night, Gendry watched Sansa and Arya scream and pounce on a foreign Queen, who did the same when she saw the sisters. They laughed and joked before a brooding man hovered over the Queen’s shoulder. Gendry thought he was a bodyguard until he smiled to the sisters and Gendry was set at ease. He recognised the man. 

Khal Drogo.

 *~*~*

 In spite of knowing he was arriving for the wedding, Arya was knocked completely for a loop when Drogo hovered over Dany’s shoulder, then broke into a giant smile. 

“My little princesses!” he yelled, accent thick and broad, gathering Arya and Sansa into his arms and picking them effortlessly off the floor. He held them tight and hugged them with all the force his arms could muster. Setting them down, he focused on Arya first. “You’ve grown! Tiny angry one even fits in dresses,” he said, he flicked her nose when she pouted. “My fire cracker, how are you? Still ruling world?” he asked Sansa, raising his brow and making her laugh.

“Always,” she nodded, regaining composure and raising her chin. Drogo nudged the edge of her chin and she laughed again. 

“Tiny angry, still kicking ass?” he asked, leaning down to her. She punched into his shoulder, making him stand up straight again.

“Always.” She smirked. 

“Perfect. Love strong women,” he said, his english stunted, but passion was true to form as he looked at Dany with a fondness that none of her other boyfriends had ever shown her, “now! The wine!” he called. When there was little response, he began to chant. “Wine! Wine! Wine! Wine!” 

“Khal!” Everyone turned to see Arya’s father almost charging across the room. 

“Ned! You half dead bastard, come here!” he yelled, Drogo picking up Ned just as briskly as he had picked up the petite women before. 

“Sorry, he doesn’t always know when to be quiet,” Dany laughed. 

“I’m sure,” Arya smirked. 

“You’re gross,” Dany scolded, and Arya couldn’t remove the smile from her lips.  

“Tell me I’m wrong,” she shrugged, and Dany shut her mouth quickly, a bright pink hue illuminating on her cheeks, “that’s what I thought.” Dany broke into a laugh, moving the distance between them and kissing Arya’s cheek, doing the same to Sansa. 

“It was lovely seeing you. I have to go rangle a giant man from killing your father.”  Her brow quirked and the girls laughed as they watched Dany almost racing over to their father and Drogo, who quickly tucked her underneath his arm and kissing at her crown. The admiration he held for her was so clear - a love that was so deeply rooted that neither of them could explain how it sprung about, but it was sprouting before they could question its origins.

During the rest of the afternoon and night, the family and guests gathered for dinner, and celebrated a true Northern feast. Arya would occasionally catch sight of Gendry who seemed confused by the feast, the one long table that made people jump up and walk around with food in palm. To him, it must have been strange, but it was everything that Arya had grown to know as fact over the years. 

When Robb and Talisa asked everyone back to the ballroom, the true party started, as the dance was a waltz for a short time, before the drinking brought everyone to their feet and dancing like the awful dancers they all were. Drogo showed off his amazing skills, as well as scaring half the elders of the Northern council. 

Romantic moments left Arya and Sansa sighing wistfully, pining for men they couldn’t be publicly seen with. Though, Arya wasn’t sure why Sansa hadn’t taken her relationship with Theon to the streets; he was a Lord afterall, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Arya, on the other hand, had to get through Gendry’s job and well...her mother, in order to go public. 

Arya, for the most part was happy with her happiness, for now at least. 

With drunks everywhere, Arya feeling a little tipsy herself, had been socialising amongst royals, lords, and friends that had been coming to such events for years. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw large arms flagging her down, waving wildly in her direction. Part of her thought it was Gendry, only to be met with a stumbling Drogo, moving towards her. 

“Tiny angry one, come here,” he said, a half drunk daze. Arya crept over to him, his arm over her shoulder as he whispered to her, “would you like to know secret?” 

“Yes,” she smiled, beaming up to him.

“I can speak your language perfectly, I’ve been faking it for years,” he said, a grin of a man that was proud of his accomplishments. All forms of drunk behaviour faded away. Arya stared up at him in shock.

“What? Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Because no one...will ever believe you,” he said, pulling away slowly, grinning to her, and maintaining eye contact.

“You sick son of a bitch,” Arya spat. When she was about to accost him for being an absolute prick all these years, when they both saw Dany waving him over. 

“Khal! Come here!” she called, and he smirked, wandering over like he had done to Arya not a moment before.

“I come moon of my life!” he said.

“I will expose you!” Arya shouted, Drogo turned with an exaggerated shrug. 

“I know not what that means!” he said, laughing as he raced over to Dany. 

All night, she realised, she had been watching Drogo and Dany; the love that they gave without hesitation, unbridled affection that never seemed to end - it was their first public outing, and yet, there wasn’t an ounce of fear among them. It made Arya jealous.  

Glancing around, she saw Gendry whisper to Pod, who nod and let Arya’s bodyguard walk away. Sneaking off to follow him, she watched as he had rounded a corner out the back, and lit a cigarette. Before he could get anything from it, Arya stepped into his line of sight, and spoke. 

“You shouldn’t sneak away,” she said, and Gendry snapped his attention to her like he had that morning, a bright smile forming on his face. Arya, once again, walked the distance between them and dropped the cigarette to the floor. “And you know smoking makes me want to kiss you less,” she reminded. She expected Gendry to huff out of the loss of his secret habit, but instead, he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her into him.

“Sorry. I promise I’ll stop,” he said, forehead resting against her own.

“You should. Otherwise you won’t be able to get to do this,” Arya’s voice trailed off into a whisper before she shoved him hard back against the wall and forced her lips to his. Gendry gave into it easily, giving as much as he got in return, hands tightening into her waist before they slid down her back, fumbling with her dress, riding it up her leg. Every trace of his fingers on her skin was electrifying for her, sending her into a frenzy to get more of him in such a short kiss. 

Gendry pulled away, though Arya had doubts that he truly wanted to do that. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this in public,” he panted, hand still firm in her ass. She didn’t care, the way his other hand raked up her dress was enough to have her eager for more. Pulling on his collar, she urged him off. 

“Then, take us somewhere private,” she said, kissing him again, teeth nipping at her lip as she deepened it the way she wanted. Why did he have to be the way he was? It drove her nuts, that she needed to be under his clothes and have him be with her, bare and free of everything that gave them names. Naked, alone together, in a bed that would only hold the two of them for a short time; they weren’t a princess and her bodyguard, they were just two people that loved one another without hesitation. 

“Arry,” Gendry panted, and Arya whined. 

“Gendry, move your ass.” 

“Get here,” he snarled, tugging her up from the ground, holding her bridal style with ease. She squeaked as she fell into his arms, and he smiled. “Can’t have a princess walking around with those tender ankles,” he teased out their forthcoming lie if they needed it.

“You’re an idiot,” she said, kissing him before he took them to her room. 

She had doubts that when they arrived, the passion and tension between them would still be firing, until they got there and the time lapsed was like nothing. Gendry put her back on her feet and kissed her as feverishly as she had outside. They scrambled over her room, tripping over themselves before landing at her chest of drawers. Gendry dug around in her draw, getting one of the remaining condoms and took his cock from his trousers. It took little prompting to have Arya up on the drawers and Gendry adjusting her underwear to the side, as he stole a heated kiss, he drove into her, making her pull away and moan with all the air left in her chest.

They were desperate for friction, for the other to just reach their end before they eventually caved. It was always a challenge with them, one that they both thrived on. Caring was a hopeless affair, as she clawed at Gendry’s back, panting as he made her chest of drawers rattle with the force of each thrust. With their bodies coming together, they kissed one another, breaking apart the moans that would have definitely kept the room a fountain of nonstop sex noises. 

But they didn’t care, as their lust out won them both, colliding together until they were panting for more. Arya came apart first, nails clutched into the back of Gendry’s neck as she held back her moan with lip between teeth. Gendry snapped his hips to hers in one final motion before he stilled for a few moments, breathing in hard puffs before his fingers came loose, no longer binding into her with desperation, but held her in affection, love, care. All wrapped up into their silent moment of breathing together. 

“I love you,” she panted, cheek resting on his shoulder before he cupped her cheek and stared into her eyes. 

Gendry kissed her over and over again, whispering words that made her heart flutter more than the sex did. “I love you too.”  

Everything else didn’t matter. 

It was only them. 

That’s all that mattered. 

In that moment, anyway. 

 *

 Arya sat down at the table for family breakfast, head and thighs aching. Everyone, including Robb and Talisa, were slumped in their seats, nursing coffees in silence in an attempt to quiet the pounding drums in their heads. The table was loaded with eggs, toast, fruit and cereals, everything you could want first thing in the morning, but Arya's stomach called for carbs, anything that could absorb whatever alcohol was left in her system. Either she was still swimming in it or she was still riding the high from last night, regardless, her body was barely functioning and she has never been more grateful for the closed curtains around the room.

Robb and Talisa sat opposite Arya - they were set to leave for their honeymoon the day after next, as Talisa wanted to go to a medical conference, but the date of the wedding had already been set. Not one to argue with his fiance, now wife, Robb agreed and they planned their honeymoon around Talisa’s wishes. It warmed Arya’s heart, but also made her want to throw up with how cute they were acting with one another over breakfast. Maybe that was the hangover still speaking, but she couldn’t have been sure. 

Rickon had been tossing his cereal over and over again, a grim look on his face 

Arya’s phone started to go off to everyone’s annoyance. 

“Family breakfast, Arya! No phones,” Jon groaned, head down on the table, Ygritte patting his back, and eating her breakfast like it was no problem. She drank Jon under the table like it was nothing. She matched with Drogo once, but the Starks hadn’t known her then - probably one of the reasons Jon loved her so much. 

“Sorry, it’s the twitter account. I left it on after Richard Madden hugged Robb last night,” Arya said with a mouthful of bread. 

“Did you post about it?” Robb groaned and Talisa giggled, remembering it just as clearly as Arya and Sansa had.

Sansa laughed, tossing over her eggs once more before putting the bacon between her teeth. “You should see how much people are freaking out.” 

“You sure Robb doesn’t have a twin,” Rickon asked, the family turning to Ned and Catelyn. Ned grinned over his coffee, and Catelyn groaned. 

“I gave birth to him, so yes, I’m sure, now eat your breakfast. And turn off your phone, Arya.” 

Arya nodded, putting her phone on silent, seeing the first notifications roll over her screen, and her curiosity was taken.

@wetbreadoffical: is this deadass???? #gendrya

@wetbreadoffical: @TheRoyalMemeFamily are yall forreal???

@wetbreadofficial: the clouds have parted, the sun shines through and princess arya has found love on this beautiful day

@aryastanstark: @TheRoyalMemeFamily OIEBDFOIERWG THIS CANNOT BE REAL, RIGHT?! @AryaStark @GendryWaters

@gendryaisreal: @TheRoyalMemeFamily WE FUCKING WON! We stand legends only 

@brekkersgendryl: @TheRoyalMemeFamily ARE MY FUCKING FAVES REALLY? We thrivin

@brekkersgendryl: if people are really trying to start shit like he’s doing this cause she’s royal never saw him at that event, himbo was all heart eyes SKJSJSHDB

@wetbreadofficial: u know when u remember that princess arya has found love and u just :')))

Arya’s brow furrowed as she tried to click on links, hand going over her mouth as she saw the headline. It was the worst thing she could have read that day. It couldn’t have been real. Could it? Maybe she was still dreaming? Fuck, this was bad. 

Putting the Body in Bodyguard

Under the headline were scattered photos from over months, secret moments that Arya thought were for only her and Gendry. The last few that were shown were ones that her mother would gasp at - Gendry groping into her backside, his hands hiking up her dress, him carrying her off to the palace. 

The article could have said a million things, saying all they wanted about Arya, all they wanted about Gendry, but it was too late - the world knew. 

Panic set over her entire body, and she couldn’t breathe suddenly, like her vision became tunnelled and everything around her meant nothing but the article that sat in front of her. 

Something had been off for months, and they both knew, and did nothing. 

Gendry. 

“No no no no no,” she muttered to herself, the chorus of her family’s voice asking if she’s alright.

“Arya, what is it?” her mother asked, Sansa leaning over to her to see the article.

“Shit,” she swore as Sansa mumbled the same sentiment. “shit!” Arya said, combing her hands through her hair. Arya shoved herself away from the table, pocketing her phone as Sansa got hers out, sending around the article. She watched as her siblings went tight lipped, and immediately sympathise with her. There wasn’t judgement, just worry. They all felt it. The urge of panic that came with this part of their lives. 

Her mother snapped at her. “Arya, please watch your -” 

“I have to go,” Arya yelled back, running out of breakfast and trying to remember the winding halls of her home. In the end, she just ran wherever her feet would fucking take her. 

 *

 TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

9:26am - Jon: Gendry and Arya?

9:26am - Sansa: Please keep up

9:27am - Robb: ...but the newspaper have just….

9:27am - Sansa: hence her freak out, KEEP UP!

9:28am - Jon: wait you knew?

9:29am - Bran: everyone knew, stupid 

9:29am - Rickon: even I knew, and I don’t get told anything 

9:30am - Sansa: you know what this means 

9:30am - Jon: please dont

9:31am - Sansa: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:31am - Rickon: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:32am - Robb: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:32am - Bran: You know nothing Jon Snow

9:34am - Jon: fuck you guys

9:45am - Jon: arya not replying isn’t a good sign is it?

9:41am - Sansa: no it isn’t

9:41am - Sansa: high alert, starks. High alert 

 *

 By the time all of her hiding places were searched and gone up in smoke, she pasted by the security offices, seeing the commotion of those around. In a split moment between wondering if she should ask them, she turned to see Brienne with Gendry on her heels. He looked like a mess, his uniform out of order, tie tugged almost completely out of its knot, and his hair was far from professional looking. 

Arya’s stomach twisted. 

She ran to him regardless. 

“Gendry!” she said, latching her hand onto his wrist, trying to pry him from the situation. 

“Not now,” he grumbled, pulling her hand from his arm. She tugged on him again, making everyone come to full stop. 

“Please don’t shut me out,” she whispered, her hands touching at his face, making him look at her. His eyes were dark - they lost their spark. He wasn’t the Gendry she knew anymore. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” 

“Arya,” Brienne started, “please move away from Gendry.” 

“Brienne, this isn’t -” 

“Princess!” Brienne raised he voice, and for the first time ever, Arya jumped at the sound of it. “Move, please,” she asked once more, and Arya stepped back. Gendry looked forward 

“Arya, come here,” a voice asked behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she saw her mother, a scowl written into her features. 

“I’ll wait right here for you,” she said, looking back to Gendry, trying to reach for him. In the second where they could, he reached back towards her, fingers lingering on hers before it faded from her skin. 

“Arry, just go with your mum,” he said, and turned to go with the rest of the security officers. 

“Arya, come here right now,” her mother warned, and Arya swallowed, watching the door slam and everything had changed for them. Turning to her mother, it was clear that whatever was going to happen, Arya was in for an earful. Dread set in. 

They were taken to her mother’s office, and as she sat on the side of the desk, Arya craved her father’s presence. Did he even want to look at her after thought pictures? He had to have seen them if her mother had. He was the king, everyone told the king every small detail of people’s lives, especially his children. Gods, the look her mother was giving her in that moment made Arya truly want to be sick. 

Sansa sat next to Arya, holding onto her hand with all the force a supportive sister could muster in her palm. It didn’t lessen Arya’s nerves. 

“You’ve made a spectacle of our entire family,” Catelyn huffed, folding her arms after she turned her computer screen towards the sisters. “on the day of your brother’s wedding.” Of course the day half of the pictures were taken would rattle her mother - taking away from the future king was awful according to her mother. 

Arya shouldn’t have thought that, they were both frustrated, and her mum was just taking aim at what was already gaining the family attention. 

“I’m not going to be judged for the company I keep,” Arya said, trying to sound defiant, but all she could think of was the look on Gendry’s face. He looked so broken. 

“He is not company! He is here doing a job, and you two decided to jeopardise that for some flirtatious behaviour,” Catelyn snapped, her hand going to her forehead. 

“Mum, I don’t think you can call it that. I think it’s more than -” 

Sighing, she looked to her eldest daughter. “Sansa, you’re in an equal amount of trouble for keeping this from me.” 

Sansa stood up to her mother, something she rarely did. Walking to the desk, Sansa planted her hands on the hardwood and stared down their mum. “Why should I tell you when Arya loves someone? It’s not like she ever did that to me. It’s a personal matter, and it was hers to figure out on her own! I’m not going to make her feel like falling in love is against royal protocol.” 

“Falling in love with her bodyguard is against protocol.” 

“Whose? Did you make a law that Arya falling in love with whoever she wanted to was wrong?” Sansa snarled, anger billowing high. “Mum, I know you don’t mean to, but Arya isn’t a lady. She’s never been that way, and controlling her is like controlling the wind. You’re causing more harm to her than you are mending anything. If you made it -” 

“Sansa, it’s ok.” Arya interrupted, her voice so weak, she was afraid it wasn’t going to come out. 

Wither hands in her lap, she picked at her skin, wishing that her heart would stop hammering away in her ribcage, but it was too late for that. Swallowing down fear, looking up at her mother and wondering if she could still love her after all of this. She hoped she would. 

“Mum, all I did was fall in love. Sure, I didn't mean for it to happen, and I sure as hell wish it wasn't my bodyguard, but only because of his job. If he wasn't my bodyguard and we had met differently, I can tell you right fucking now, I’d feel exactly the same. And he’s still doing his job of protecting me. It's not like it's stopped him, to be honest he's somehow even better than before! 

He's my best friend. And my boyfriend. And the love of my life. Neither of us planned it and we sure as hell fought it, because we were scared. Not of being in love, I have never been scared of being in love. But we know the risks, Mum. I'm not an idiot and neither is. I'm scared of your reactions and the public's reactions, but mostly I'm scared of losing him and it being my family's fault.”

“Arya,” she started before she sighed, and relaxed back into her chair, annoyance running over her. “I wish you would have told me. So I could prepare myself for the mess that has come.” 

Arya scowled, watching as her mum reached over her desk, planning something out - that she was going to repair this somehow. “Was I always going to be a mess in your eyes?” 

Catelyn sighed again. “That wasn’t what I meant.” 

“I know what you meant. But you never have seen me as perfect. You’ve always seen me as something you should fix,” Arya shot back. 

“Arya, please don’t twist my words.” 

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Arya waited, to which Catelyn opened her mouth to defend herself. It closed quickly and Arya scoffed. “You can’t though, because what do you do every day? You check to see if I’m the perfect little princess, scowling when I’m not. I’m just Princess Arya, the girl that fights, the girl that runs away from home and talks with the people. I’m just me.” 

“I know you are,” Catelyn said, reaching out over her desk for Arya’s hand. 

She ignored it. “Then why does it feel like you hate me?” 

“Arya, I -” 

“I need to find Gendry,” Arya said, getting up and walking out of her mother’s office. The feeling in her chest was a hollow one, spite winning over her in a moment of pain. 

Racing back to the bodyguard offices, she waited for only a few minutes before Gendry came out, he looked worse than when he went in, but in complexion only - a different man than she had ever known. 

“There you are!” Arya said, going to his side, but Gendry walked as if she wasn’t even there. She pursed her lips and followed after him. 

“Arya, go back to your parents, I need to get out of here,” Gendry said, tugging on his tie until it came loose and he took it off, shoving it into his pocket and trying to find something in his other pockets. 

“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” Arya asked, walking beside him as he finally got his phone. 

“Take a fucking guess what the problem is,” he snapped, looking at the screen of his phone, stopping as he read something. He went pale and Arya felt her heart spasm. Gods, this wasn’t happening. She was downright scared. Arya was never scared. 

“We can figure this out. It’s going to be hard at first, but I promise it’ll be worth it,” Arya tried, but as Gendry looked to her, she knew something was so far gone, that the rage that had built within him was going to tear him apart. Or worse. 

“You don’t get it, Arya! You are constantly in the spotlight, and now so am I, and my mum too. We aren’t like you, we don’t have people protecting us from danger! We’re going to get harassed, and there’s nothing we can do.” 

“Gendry, we’ll work it out, just -” 

“No! I’m not doing this,” he shouted, and Arya held her breath, binding his fists. 

“Doing what?” 

Gendry looked over her face, scattering for the words. “I’m not...We’re not…” 

“Don’t.” She stopped him, heart pounding in her chest. “I know what you’re doing and think about this,” she warned him.

“I have. I have to think about my family.”

“I could be your family!” she shouted back, moving into his space, trying to hold his hands. He didn’t truly know what she was asking of him. 

Gendry stepped back, pulling away. “Don’t make me choose between you and my mum, Arya,” he said, voice soft. 

“I’m not!” she begged. It was the last one that would come out of her lips. 

The look in his eyes told her enough, the words that would tear them apart were close, but she knew he’d never say them. He’d break her heart more easily than that. 

“I'm sorry, Arya.” Gendry walked away, slow and hurt, no pride or dignity in the way he moved. 

“Coward!” she yelled. Gendry stopped for a moment before he continued off. Arya didn’t mean it. She was just scared. And she knew, that whenever he walked away from her, her heart was going to break. 

Above it all, Arya never thought she’d die of a broken heart, but now it seemed all the more real. 

Gendry broke her heart, and she’d never be the same again.

[coolingdownanddrawing]

heres some idea’s for redesigns along with some bulletpoints on what I was thinking for story stuff involving remaking the series

Im having trouble reading off the screenshots so Im gonna write it out under the cut along with probably adding some ideas or expanding on the bullet lists (future me here: I wrote a Lot)

Sam Manson:

-Rich Activist, meaning she’s kinda blind to some troubles going on or doesnt full understand how others are doing financially, along with being raised in a house with people who arnt exactly empathetic and more focused on appearances then worker rights, sam can come off as shallow to others doing activist work.

 it could be a really interesting character arc for her to realize some of the things going on outside of her school and plants that she can help with, along with dealing with that sense of helplessness she feels at being to normal to help anyone she expresses in the show.

-Goth, but cheery? One thing i noticed in the show is how overall cheerful sam can come off while toting goth ideal’s, which may be a part of why she isnt shown to have many goth friends with them seeing her more as a poser becouse their teenagers and teenager Be like that sometimes.

 It’s not a problem in my book but it could be fun to see tucker or danny question it when in goth spaces and sam basically saying the truth that you dont have to be miserable to enjoy dark subject matter. maybe with tucker and danny getting a small interest in some of the “lesser” goth stuff sam introduces to them.

-fights everyone, becouse teenager with boundless energy and Ghosts attacking all the time. sam didnt fight much in the original series and thats a shame.

-facinated by ghost, becouse duh

-I was kinda thinking of her and tucker being introduced by them competing for class president, becouse that seem’s like a position both would be interested in and it be more interesting then having tucker face dash

Tucker Foley

-Likes to influence others is a general statment, but its true tucker likes to be involved in other peoples lives and generally have his oppinion affect people in possitive (or negative) ways. he likes seeing that his involvment matters and he suffers when people ignore him or take his oppinions for granted and id love to see stuff centered around this trait

-level 1 leader/planner, sorta connected to the influencing people thing I think tucker really would thrive in leadership roles that danny just isnt suited to handling, big mobs of people and sam on his side and he is a force to be recond with. Tucker thrives in getting big groups of people to side with him esspecially since technology profficientcy isnt a sign of weakness in this day and age. 

plus him working on his public speaking lines up with his motivation of wanting to be attactive to ladies. 

also Having him working on public speaking stuff and general people person scenario’s gives a lot of reason for the group to interact with the A listers in a less hostile scenario

-tech god I guess, becouse tucker foley

Dan Phantom

-Incarnation of discomfort being the unintentional (At least the first time) fusion of a stubborn 14 year old and his crazy 40 year old father figure with very different morals and oppinions makes existing very, very akward for dan, but great comedy fodder!

-dan is able to have legs or a ghostly tail whenever he pleases unlike vlad or danny, becouse I figured it be a good way to make fights more interesting and their fighting styles different becouse I want more vlad involvement and having  them be extra different types of ghosts makes watching either of them fight much more interesting

-wishes to not exist, esspecially in the presense of either danny or vlads love interests becouse WOW thats akward

-WAAAAY more powerful then danny and vlad, partially becouse making dan a final everything is going to hell desperate final action for danny and vlad would make dan’s appearances more interesting but also becouse of difference’s about vlad plasmius and danny phantom I will talk about when I get to them. 

Dan Discomfort Masters

-“Vlad’s nephew” becouse if you’re meeting this guy stuff has gone horrible wrong on the de-fusing front  and he needs a reason to be in either fenton on masters house hold to get whatever he needs to fix the ghost catcher 

- big ol liar pant’s, partially becouse danny and vlad are Huge Liars but also becouse of the whole, I need shit to stop existing 

-Trying to keep it together becouse he’s probably made to interact with people vlad and danny have Opinions On and honestly he cant decide if he wants to viciously prank jack at every oppertunity or punch himself for thinking of being mean to jack, among other such mixed feelings.

Vlad Masters

-Certified genius due to a number of thing’s including his obession, and becouse being smarter then jack makes him happy and if jack ever expressed interest in a subject He Must Be Better, he might not be trying to kill jack becouse he doesnt want to deal with a ghost hunter ghost for who knows how long but he wont be lesser then jack in ANYTHING.

-fruitloop, still has some backwards logic and morals such as having valarie become a ghost hunter to offer a sparring buddy to danny and whats a better motive to shoot at someone then they ruined their life right but he’s generally such a over the top bird brain trying to show off to everyone that fruitloop is the only description he can be given.

-less evil is a Big Thing, he’s still objectively not a very good man but I want him and danny working together and sharing a roof on the weekends but that means not shooting first and asking questions later on site, so a less evil vlad is needed, plus it just generally makes there interactions more fun and less dangerous which is what im going for, since walker can take over a lot of vlads antagonist role in the story plus danny and vlad making agreements to get stuff out of eachother sounds like a hell of a lot of fun, i liked eye for and eye vlad sue me.

- as a side not I want vlad to be a lot less physically fit and practiced with doing things as a human, seeing him as a man who lords his power over others when he can he prefers relaxing and working as plasmius more then masters, which affects his health and serves a purpose in story for a lesson id like made after watching phantom planet last night

Vlad Plasmius

-loving guardian in that he really, really does want to be a good father and mentor figure to danny even if their relationship is rocky due to long standing lies he’s been feeding him and how tight a grip vlad has on his familys financial health. as well as the whole snatching partial costody as soon as costudy was called into question after dannys accident (Ill get to that) vlad’s babysat in the past for the fenton which is part of it, along with his desire to be better at jack in every aspect.

-great implorer, in which he likes to get minions when he can and usually only grumbles if his minions already have plans when he calls for them, pays great by ghost zone and human standards and usually offers a full health plan, though skulkers case that full health plans is for when he gets his head up his ass and thinks he can actually get either danny or vlads pelt, one of skulkers suits is on vlads lab wall with a nice hole where its face should be as a reminder to those who cross him.

-only legs,  meaning he uses 100% more kicks and ground based attacks then danny and can kick below the bet where danny cant, this plus his fire core making him have to get creative lest he burn his surroundings to the ground has him fighting in a very different way to danny, along with his 20 years of experience. vlad tends to fight ghosts with less reason to leave the ghost zone, and invading lairs to get what he wants, leading to more serious encounters then what danny faces in the begining.

-loves dramatics, becouse vlad plasmius everybody he’s a cookyier villian here

-less evil and more ruthless and efficient to those who get in his way, that arnt who percieves as family 

-Plasmius’s obsession is teaching people lessons, in all the good and horrible ways that can imply. halfa’s have more broad and less restrictive obsessions then other ghosts which makes them more dangerous and able to ammas power.

Danny Fenton

-Fenton works heir, which is played up a lot more in this with vlad backing his family and giving them chances to disgrace themselves on public telivision and get shamed out of wherever their currently living, leading them on a series of moves throughout dannys life before amity park show off their inventions to the world! Since Jazz aggressively refused the role it fell on danny and he actually takes it pretty seriously, believing as a little bab in ghosts and being convinced of their evil from a young age by his parents which you can only imagine does great things for him when he becomes a halfa and learns unkie vlad is one as well.

-has been haunted by the creepy ghost boy title his whole like due to his situation and the fact he is usually made to assist in showing off his parents weapons publicly as a apprentice ghost hunter, one such invention was the fenton portal that had a wire loose during the presentation, when he went in and put it back the doors automatically shut him in and jack and maddie didnt notice he was in there still until the screaming started, this led to some public outcry over weather jack and maddie are fit to raise kids and vlad swooping in for partial costudy of both fenton children “to ease the masses, and besides he’s basically helped raise them anyway whats garenteed weekends at one of vlads places going to do?”  it was a sucky situation.

-bad reputation due to general protectiveness of his parents along with terrible social skills, along with his new trouble of hiding and controlling emerging ghost powers.He doesnt leave a initial good impression on sam and tucker when he first meets them as fenton, and people tend to avoid him to keep away from his parents wierdness anyhow.

-is less good in the traditional sense but wants to keep people safe and happy if he can help it, though its argueable if thats simply a manifestation of his obsession or if its just becouse he’s a sweet kid, once he gets it into his head that ghosts arnt always evil he tries really hard to be nice to ghost too and even tries to save them from his parents when he can. putting his neck out for them.

Danny Phantom

-just wants a lair is a shorthand for wanting to just experience regular ghost things when he’s going ghost, he’s less inclined to fight every ghost he see’s unless their actively hurting people and tries to talk them down, not wanting his afterlife filled with enemies when he officially keels over. 

he has big dreams for a super cool lair of his own that are explored upon the one time he’s split apart by the ghost catcher, mostly becouse phantom rips the  door to his room from its hinges and zooms into the ghost zone as soon as he’s out, found aimlessly wondering helplessly looking for the PERFECT location to start building. he tends to day dream about the lair of his dreams in class.

-no leg’s leading to more air combat and trying to immobalize people with his tail, usually fighting fairly though with his moments of cheap shots in partiicularly deadly battles,, he usually fights people like johnny 13 who mess with people then he does generally harmless ghosts like box ghost in the begining, plus with his in development abilities that include a versatile ice core his fights are more strategy  then sheer beat down or creative weapon making (or heating whatever metal the ghost is wearing to the point of insanity) 

Danny also has this little problem where he “died” in a anti ghost hazmat suit made of stuff to weaken and harm a ghost who comes in contact with jack and maddies little boy and it means its harder on him to access his powers, taking more energy to do things that most ghost would find easy like intangibilty and invisibility, which is a major problem for him esspecially at first, danny’s only made aware of this though vlads help and their working on a way to trick the hazmat suit into changing material with what danny was wearing under the suit, since its being difficult with changing on dannys command, he can put stuff over and under the suit but the suit itself is hard to make budge.  the outfit shown above is after danny learns how to at least add stuff over it with vlads help.

dan does not have problem’s with the material of his costume making him have access to all dannys abilities easily, along with vlads experience and power and dannys creative thinking dan gets the nickname of the ultimate enemy with good reason

- Loves exploring, esspecially the ghost zone its so interesting and full of enteraining characters and the food is Amazing at least in ghost form and vlad’s show him some pretty incredible places in the zone when they agree to work together in the sense of vlad stealing madde and jacks thermoses at the end of fenton fights and danny helping him spelunk in the ghost zone,  its a guilty pleasure to be able to show sam and tucker around when they become friends, natural portals are a tempation danny has a hard time ignoring when he see’s one, much to his loved ones annoyance.  wolf is a terrible enablr of a friend.

- due to his obession with proving himself (its the wording i go with now i might change it to something like control or being loved) danny tends to want people to like him and seeing a opertunity to get them to like him sorta throws him off balance and out of fight mode, usually leading to him cuddling up to them, in phantom form dannys a great cuddler. take caution though he’s been known to trick enemys into thinking he’s gone out of fight mode and either shove them into the nearest portal/thurmos or later freezing them where they stand.  dannys terrible with crowds, esspecially crowds of people who dont like him he freezeses up.

Danny to-tired-to-function (school and not working with parents danny)

-cant wait to to graduate, with no plans to go to college becouse he’s not paying for more hell

-is really in a bad place socially and mentally in the begining, but will become a lot happier once he befriends sam and tucker, though before that he tends to do some pretty desperate and embarrasing things to get attention and has a problem with letting people drag him into trouble on the promise of friendship.

Danny’s Chore’s list:

-deadly laundry with ectoplasm contaminated laundry machines to content with

-helping whoever wants to cook, cook, or being in charge of dinner most nights unless someone else wants to cook (breakfast is jazz’s job, maddie and jack are gently discouraged from cooking, jazz and danny usually or use to just grab take out for lunch if they had time)

-cleaning the lab

-dishes with ecto contaminated dishwasher are always a little dangerous damn appliances and their wills to reak havoc, jazz likes to help make sure it doesnt hurt anyone since its more dangerous then the laundry machines

-assembling weapons with parents for the vault, or incase of a huge ghost invasion so everyone has a chance at a weapon, danny usually just assembles the less dangerous stuff that doesnt require a lot of welding

-general house maintense, vacuuming and window cleaning while jazz mops and dusts 

-jazz cleans the weapons vault after learning dannys secret becouse its a lot less dangerous for her then for him and hes infinitly grateful

AND DONE thats some of my thoughts on what could be done with a re design of the characters and story beats listed, im tired of writing now but enjoyed getting this out

[thunderstruck-amanita]

if you would like....one that's very self indulgent on my part and very specific: “I think we should stop before I throw up again.” prompt for host and dark (you just write them so well!!) maybe, if you desire, specifically with dark pushing host past his limits with his narration powers/overusing host's powers....but asdjadj only if u want!! dont worry abt it

I love this prompt.  So much.  I loved the details you added and kind of went ham with it.  It ended up getting waaaaayyy longer than I intended, but I hope you enjoy!

~~~

Something was wrong.

Host knew it from the moment Dark had entered his room.  No knock, no greeting.  Just a tension that Host could feel without even narrating it.  Just the crackling of astral projections shooting off of Darkiplier like static electricity even though he normally had them so under control.  Just a frantic energy that Host recognized instantly but hadn’t felt from him in a very, very long time.

“Host, I need your help.”

Host frowned.  On any other day, he would’ve snapped back at him.  Maybe made some snide comment if he was in a good mood or growled and gone back to his radio station without a second thought if he was in a bad one.  But today wasn’t any other day.

Host’s mood didn’t matter.

There was something coming that was bigger than either one of them.

Host slowly slipped off his headphones and placed them on the desk.  One nod was all Dark needed, and the work began.

It was slow going.

Urgent bursts of narration, hushed and hurried thoughts, then fervent narration again.  It went like that for a long time, and Host was beginning to feel the strain.  His stomach lurched in pain, exhaustion tugged at his limbs, old wounds from his countless deaths began to open up again.  He was always losing blood, but rarely did it affect him the way it was starting to right now.  The light-headedness, the dizziness, the sharp, shooting pain in the sockets where his eyes used to be.  He was fast approaching his limit, but Dark showed no signs of stopping any time soon.

“Dark…” Host muttered, interrupting what the other was saying.

Darkiplier stopped talking but bristled in annoyance all the same.  “What.”

Host took a deep, shaky breath.  “I need to stop.”

“Oh.  You need to sSTOPp, do you?” He glitched in the middle of his sentence, throwing the emphasis of the word into disarray.  “Well, we need to SToP too.  Do you know what we need to stop? Hmm? Or did you forget?”

Dark stood up and began pacing around Host’s chair.  Slowly.  Purposefully.  Almost like a wild animal hunting his prey.  Almost.

“WE need to stop that masochistic mANIAC before he ruins our f***ing LIVES beyond repair!”

Dark slammed his fists on Host’s desk, and things shifted.

They shifted.

They were launched into a dark and empty dimension as a multitude of tortured projections erupted from Darkiplier.  They screamed, screeched, scratched the empty air for purchase.  The noise was almost enough to make Host’s ears bleed, and he dryly hoped that at least one of his four senses would be unscathed by the end of the day.

But they returned to the room just as fast as they had left.  Nothing in his bedroom had changed aside from the disrupted dust that was beginning to settle and the microphone that now laid on its side on the desk.

Darkiplier was not to be trifled with today.  He was aggressive, assertive, maybe even desperate… but Host also sensed something in him that a true predator didn’t have.

Fear.

Host wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he knew that feeling.  He had thrived on one side of it and survived on the other.  The thrill of writing stories that would send a reader’s heart pumping, send shivers down their spine, move them to the edge of their seat… and the agony of experiencing it himself.  Every time he had to enter another of his horror stories to serve his penance, he knew what would happen.  He knew every step he took would inevitably lead him to his impending doom.  But knowing the next chapter didn’t stop the fear from clawing at him and staying with him as scars that would never heal.  So Host took Dark’s words, bitter and caustic, and swallowed them down with his own thoughts.  If Dark was this scared, this desperate, then this could be the final stretch to Mark’s demise.  Yes, he knew what it was like to fear, perhaps better than anyone.  And he knew that anger combined with fear would make the sweetest revenge.

So without a word, he picked up his microphone again and continued to narrate.

~~~

It was hardly another hour before the pain became excruciating.  The gunshot wounds, machete slices, and chainsaw gashes were gushing now.  Host could tell that he was pale, that he was going to faint at any moment.

But he didn’t stop.

That is, until he spun his chair around to vomit onto the carpet.

Dark grew quiet as the room filled with a nauseating scent of bile and blood, waiting patiently as Host heaved and heaved until his stomach was entirely empty.

Host wiped the vomit from his chin with the back of his hand and turned to where Dark had last spoken from.

“Well,” Dark stated, unphased.  “Are you done?”

Host growled from his throat as he grabbed the arm of his chair and stood on his wobbling legs.  “Yes,” he replied through grit teeth.  “Very.”

He leaned against anything he could grab onto as he made his way towards the door.

“Then where are you going?” Darkiplier snapped, jumping out of his chair.

“I’m going to the doctor,” Host snarled right back.

“We’re not finished yet,” Darkiplier said.  His tone held a challenge, daring Host to disobey him, to change the rules of the game that Dark was playing.

“Well.  Call me ludicrous, but I think we should stop before I throw up again.”

Host continued to make his way to the door.  It was unsettling, feeling like his body could fall apart at any moment.  He grimly imagined connecting and leaving him in a pile of jumbled up pieces before shoving the thought away.

“I’m not-”

“We’ve done enough!” Host screamed.  It was a wild, guttural, barbaric sound that sucked out too much of his already depleted energy.  “I’ve narrated all f***ing day, and if we’re not any closer to getting Mark, that’s your fault.  Not mine.”

He didn’t even have the strength to slam the door behind him when he left.

He would probably pay for this.  Darkiplier would hate him for a good long while.

He ground his teeth together and focused on getting downstairs.

If that was the case, then so be it.

~~~

It was a week before Host saw Dark again.

He had expected to see him much earlier, to pick up where they had left off.  Then again, the look of rage on Dr. Iplier’s face when Host had collapsed on the floor of his small home clinic should have let him know that Dark wouldn’t be visiting any time soon.

“You were ill.  You warned me and I should have listened.”

Again, Dark had entered without knocking, without any introduction. And the words were Dr. Iplier’s, clearly. He had probably threatened the man to come in here to apologize from the way Darkiplier ground the words out of his mouth, like he wanted nothing more than to be done with this apology and get back to work.  Host suppressed a smirk.  The man’s reluctance only made the apology that much better for him.

“Yes, you should have,” he snarled as he sat up in his cot, holding back a wince.

He was pieced back together again.  Mostly.  Dr. Iplier suggested another few days to rest, but Host was itching to be back in his studio again.  The clinic was fine every once in a while, but it was too spotless for him to think straight.  And the overwhelming scent of citrus-scented cleaning surprise was disgusting.

Dark made some grunt of annoyance, and Host felt him sit down at the edge of the bed.

“Time is short.  Things are happening and it seems like he’ll be coming soon.”

Host nodded.

“I guessed that from your panic,” he stated as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.  Darkiplier tensed up again, but before he could speak, Host continued.  “But trust me, I want him to meet his end just as much as you.”

Darkiplier sighed.  “I know.”

They sat for a moment in silence.  It wasn’t friendly.  It was hardly civil.  But both seemed to find comfort in the common hope for revenge that accompanied them.

Host stood up, slowly, before straightening out to his full, intimidating height.  He turned his head to where Dark was still seated.

“Let’s get back to work.”

[blookmallow]

i dont have the energy to go through all my outlast 2 screenshots right now, i have one liveblog post drafted that i was working on before, and now i have a huge pile of screenshots to go through again so there’ll be. at LEAST two more... play by play type posts lmao

so anyway the order’s gonna be kinda weird but my brain is screaming and ive been going through wiki pages for like 2 hours so heres. some thoughts and a lot of questions and some observations i think im. sort of starting to get it,

---

ok so... knoth believed the antichrist was going to be born, apparently he DID think it was going to be from one of his own people, but then. blake and lynn obviously aren’t from his people so i have no idea why he suddenly decided it was on them 

marta was his “angel of death” hitman going around murdering people in the name of god

people who got sick (definitely STDs, believed to be the Curse of Sin or whatever but it might have just been anyone who was diseased at all) got banished to the scalled village where they all got HORRIFICALLY sick and infected and have completely lost their minds now abandoned by the church

val broke off from knoth’s church and started the heretics cult, they seem to be. satanists now and are trying to allow the birth of the anti christ but are also constantly trying to kill me to death too 

according to the wiki val is almost definitely a trans woman, which. the Only trans character in outlast is a woman who is a violent sexual predator who might be a devil worshipper and has wet dreams about child murder. granted everyone in outlast is fucked up but THAT’S A PARTICULAR KIND OF FUCKED UP

lynn was not visibly pregnant when they crashed, blake claims they hadn’t been sexually active in months so if she was pregnant, it’s not his child. when he finds her again she’s not only very visibly pregnant, but actively going into labor. she calls it “our baby.” blake doesn’t have the chance to ask her how this happened. this is never fucking explained : )

like it doesn’t look like lynn was just like.... reverse c-sectioned and even if someone raped her to force pregnancy she wouldn’t have gone through an entire 9 month pregnancy in ONE NIGHT, so what the FUCK was that about

the wiki mentions its possible the baby isn’t actually real, it apparently doesn’t cast a shadow and lynn has the “there’s nothing there” line, but even if blake hallucinated the pregnancy and the baby (which. at least would explain how the process of “giving birth” took like 3 seconds and she became suddenly 9 months pregnant in one day) why would lynn be reacting as if she was pregnant too. or if they both hallucinated it why did she say “there’s nothing there,” wouldn’t she be able to see it too 

anyway jessica, lynn, and blake were all friends in. high school middle school whatever age.  it seems like there was some kind of love triangle going on, jessica seems into blake in the flashbacks, blake seems unsure

he starts getting lynn and jessica confused near the end so he might’ve had some kind of feelings for her though, the wiki mentions his complete obsession with saving lynn might have been partly fueled by “i couldn’t save jessica but im going to save lynn im not going to lose them both i HAVE to succeed this time” to the point that they just kind of became the same person in his head by the end 

there’s some weird parallels with jessica playfully jumping on him and val pinning him down so its very possible jessica was acting... sexually aggressive toward him, on a much smaller scale of course, but enough that val’s assault triggered the memory

jessica was almost definitely being molested by one of their teachers/church leaders/whatever and blake seems to blame himself for not doing anything about it

i thought jessica killed herself and blake felt responsible for it, maybe figuring the abuse she was enduring from the teacher (and possibly her father, she reacts very afraid when he threatens to call her father) might have been one of the causes, and he didn’t help her 

but the wiki says the teacher actually may have killed jessica and forced blake to help cover it up as a suicide, hence... finding her on the stairs. which i guess makes sense too 

but the whole flashback thing is never explained?? i guess maybe it really was just trauma manifesting in really fucked up ways and like, that’s still narratively interesting but the fact that it kept crossing over into the real world (the recordings from the flashbacks showed up as corrupted files, so Something happened and it wasn’t just in blake’s head, frequently you get stuck somewhere you can’t escape from, get pulled into the other world, wake up somewhere else entirely) means it’s not just internal so why the FUCK is he crossing dimensions. they don’t tell you!!! i had to go digging on the wiki to figure this shit out

from the wiki:

“The "apocalypse" Blake had witnessed, as well as the nightmarish flashbacks to his childhood, were all just hallucinations induced by the Murkoff Corporation's local Radio Towers.“

WHAT???? IT WAS MURKOFF THE WHOLE TIME 

but like. are you telling me it was all a hallucination that was just kind of vaguely mentioned Once. the big reveal/the truth behind it all was literally just hinted about in One Note/One weird encounter with a distant radio tower in ONE SCENE randomly in the middle of the game and never expanded on. what the FUCK kind of writing/game design is THAT

it looks like the “voice of God” knoth was hearing was actually the murkoff frequencies too, but like. fucking why. why were they telling this guy to kill babies and create a murder cult. was it just a “how far can we take this” experiment like the “how badly can we fuck someone’s mind up if we take away their meds and exacerbate their mental illness” thing at mount massive. i mean i guess a corporation that would do That would also probably fuck with a bunch of hyper religious hillbillies too but it just seems way too convoluted for “idk just wanted to see what would happen” 

and “maybe if we hide subliminal messages in the radio frequencies we can convince some random guy we’re the voice of God” is. way too specific to actually Work, i guess maybe if they could induce hallucinations they could maybe manipulate peoples’ minds that much more efficiently but like. still. it doesnt fucking make sense!!!!!! why would it manifest as “flashbacks of childhood trauma” in blake and “suddenly im pregnant” in lynn and “God Said I Gotta Kill Everyone” in knoth and “satan said i gotta fuck everyone” in val NONE OF THAT MAKES ANY FUCKING SENSE!!!

APPARENTLY there’s a whole mess of comics that go along with this and hopefully explain shit a little bit more but “explaining what the fuck happened in your game by means of a side comic that isn’t mentioned in said game” is : ) 

I DONT KNOW. iM SO TIRED ITS 1 AM SOMEHOW

ill go through all my screenshots and shit later maybe that’ll help. something :’) god. I MEAN TO BE FAIR, outlast’s strengths have never been its story telling, it’s a great game for being absolutely scared out of your fucking mind and boy did they ever deliver on that front so like... i guess ultimately i got what i wanted out of it but im still CONFUSED,

i should really have expected this though lmao this is the same thing that happened at the end of outlast 1 i didnt understand anything until 900 wiki pages later and still hated the ending even when i finally did sort of almost understand it 

[brynhildr13]

MY personal unofficial live report of NYC!

Again, this is NOT OFFICIAL. I was NOT PRESS. This is just MY PERSONAL account of my amazing experience!!! I copied it from my Facebook post i made. @baby-come-bach is "Melissa".

Okay. So now that im home and safe and I committed everything to memory i wanna talk about the show!!! IF you wanna just skip down to the meet and greet go down below the line. The stuff above is what happened during the concert.

The live was AMAZIIIIIINNNGGG!!! EVEN BETTER THAN THE LAST SHOW.

There was the stage, then the pit, then behind the pit was about 6 steps and a platform with a railing. Behind that was another set of steps and a railing and seating in the back. Once we got into the venue i told Melissa to take my poster and go get me the spot i wanted while i got merch. We were behind the pit at the railing on Uruha's side. He's my fave bandman and OHHHO MY GOD THE VIEW WAS. PERFECT. Melissa must have read my mind because she knew i like uruha but didnt know what side he stood on. Lolol. She guessed correctly and stayed to the right. I stayed in line for merch and got my stuff and went to meet her. I couldnt have asked for better view. We werr SO CLOSE. And above the pit so i didnt have to fall victim to my stature.

So we wait and then they start the show. And they all walk out all stoic and tall and QIDNWODNWJD. Kai came out first, then aoi and reita and uruha, then ruki last. And they went right into their songs. They sounded SOOOO good omg.

My highlights from the show:

Uruha was HEADBANGING ALL NIGHT and SPINNING AROUND AND SMILING HE WAS SOOOO INTO IT HE BROUGHT SO MUCH ENERGY.

Ruki kept dancing and shaking his shoulders and hips. He cant dance that well so it was endearing and funny but also kept the mood.

Kai was smiling like the sun the whole time. He LOVES to perform and it shows.

Reita kept bending down really low and slapping his bass really hard. Especially when they played one song that featured him. (the mortal) He went HAM. IT WAS AWESOME.

Aoi was so majestic. He didnt really MOVE much but he did walk around the stage with the others a lot. He was so captivating just like before.

And there were two or three 15-30 second pauses. Their english was WAY better than last time, especially Ruki's! He said "we were so excited to come to New York!! We're so happy to be here!!!!" And then they riled us up with call and answer. It was great!!!!

The second pause was Kai!! I didnt even know it was him until I heard talking and didnt see Ruki on stage!! But Kai said, "i love new York!! I love you guys!! We are so excited to be here!!" And then he did a call and answer with us.

I SWEAR THEY ALL LOOKED AT ME LIKE 25 TIMES DURING THE LIVE. It was like they wanted to see EVERY FAN. They kept their eyes up and out to the crowd most of the time!

I TRIED to show them support but i also wanted to actually stand and WATCH. So I really only Committed to Ninth Odd Smell, UGLY, abhor god, and Filth in the Beauty. The rest I was more tame on cuz i wanted to SEE them. But all those songs get me HYYYYPE so i had to give it my all.

They played Suicide Circus again too!!!!! And Inside Beast this time!!!! Those were the two songs Melissa knows best so she got to hear stuff she enjoyed! Also, we made sure to watch Aoi in the second verse because he bowed most regally with his arm up and he twirled his wrist as he brought it down into the bow. Just like in the music video!!! It was AMAZING. SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL!!! And Ruki's rapping was SO COOL TO HEAR LIVE AGAIN. it was even better than last show!

ONE THING I always enjoyed was when Ruki adds a little improv to long outros. For Sono Koe Wa Moroku which is a slow ballad he added his own little wisps of vocals and screams which was so cool!!

They ended the set with filth in the Beauty and the crowd kept trying to call for encore but no one knew how to keep time so everyone kept thunderclapping instead of joining together in one voice.

One girl in the pit got on someone's shoulders and lifted her top and flashed the camera that was recording us. I couldnt tell if they kicked her out or not. All i remember thinking was "thats DEFINITELY not gonna make them wanna come on stage any sooner." Also no one crowd surfed that I saw like last show. And this girl behind us was yelling "WE /DESERVE/ AN ENCORE." which irritated melissa and i a bit. Like, bitch, no you dont deserve it. You deserve the OPPORTUNITY for it. What a gross fan. I hoped they werent VIP cuz I wouldnt want her to be a bad fan to them and say anything rude. When they did come on stage that girl was acting like she single-handedly brought them out on stage. She otherwise didnt bother us. We ignored her the rest of the time. She was gone from my mind in two seconds once they came back out.

They played 3 encore songs and ended with Tomorrow Never Dies!! Which is a good song to end on. It has a beautiful message of hope. Once it was over Ruki kept saying "thank you!!" And we'd answer with a cheer and he said "we will see you again real soon!! Good night, New York!!" And then as we filtered out they checked our wrist bands and we were allowed into the seating part to wait until they were ready for the meet and greet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They called row by row and we were in the middle of the last section so we scooted out and ran to the top. I wanted to be LAST FOR THE MEET AND GREET. And we ended up DEAD LAST. We were next to these girls who flew FROM JAPAN to see them. I would have liked to talk to them but I was so nervous to, so i just quietly listened to them converse in japanese.

When they called us we filed down! And we went thru these doors and there were small steps and THERE. THEY. WERE. right there!!! I saw Reita's mask and hair and my stomach dropped cuz it was ACTUALLY THEM. So melissa helped me get the poster out and I unfolded it and I get up to Aoi and I was so star struck I forgot EVERYTHING I was gonna say. But i saw him look down and see it and he said "oh wow!!! Design?" I couldnt even answer. The staff beside him thought I didnt understand so she said "he asked if you drew this." And i said "ohhh my god. Yes. Yes. Design. Yes." And he looked at me, IN MY EYES with these bright wide eyes and he said "thank you! So cool! Thank you" and he took my hands in his and we looked in each other's eyes and I saw warmth and love and dedication. Im sure he saw pure terror and awe in mine but we said thank you. I slide it down to Reita and i see him look down and his eye we could see through his mask, which up close almost looked like cloth and not plastic, got so big and he has a deeper voice so he just said "WOW!!" AND stared for a second and then he looked at me and said "you draw this??" And I still had no words so I just nodded and said "YES. YES. DRAWING." And we still held eyes and he said "this is amazing!!! Thank you so much!" And he took my hands in his and shook and we said thank you!! Then I slid it down to Ruki and OH MY GOD RUKI WAS PERFECT. From my peripheral i glimpsed aoi and reita following with their eyes. And ruki saw it and his face LIT UP and he said "WOW! YOU DREW THIS?!" And I found my words so I said "yes! Kakimashita! I drew this!!" And he pointed to himself and he smiled and said "I LIKE THIS!!!! I LIKE THIS!!!! THANK YOUU! THANK YOU!!!" and he grasped my hands in his and we shook and said thank you. Then I move to Kai and he says "HI!!!" AND I SAID "HELLO!!!!" and i show him and he SMILES SO BIG and he said "oh wow! A drawing!?" And I said "kakimashita! I drew this!" And he looked at me and said "its amazing!!! Good job!! Thank you!!" And his smile WAS EVEN BIGGER AND HE just MELTED MY HEART RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!! AAHH!!! and he grasped my hands in his and shook and we ssaid thank you to each other and last was MY FAVORITE URUHA and let me tell you. He recently dyedd his hair blonde and I did not like it. It was cut like a bob and it was super "I wanna talk to your manager." Our ongoing joke was to call him Susan. But i saw HIM. AND HIM AND HIS HAIR WAS A FOOT AWAY FROM ME. AND HE LOOKED. BEAUTIFUL. IMMACULATE. I ALMOST HAD THE NERVE TO APOLOGIZE. But I showed him my poster. His reaction was my favorite. His eyes got real big and he said "ooooooooooooooohh!!!! Wow!!!!!!!" And i said "kakimashita!! I drew this!!" And he couldnt even speak he just kept saying "wow!!" And he looked at me and I looked at him and we shook hands and he took my hands in his and he said "thank you so much!" And I said "thank you!!!" And then i don't remember but i think uruha was still super close to me after we let go and i turned away and i think i turned back around and black out yelled "OMG YOURE MY FAVORITE." AND I think he smiled embarassed and said "thank you so much!" And then we tried to fenangle it back into the box and i caught the smallest glimpse of Aoi and Reita leaning over the table to look and see. Eventually we got the plastic on and the staff member said "ill take it." So we handed it over and then I both hand waved and said "BYEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!" AND OH MY GOD ALL 5 OF THEM LEANED OVER AND LOOKED AT ME AND WAVED AND SAID "BYEE THANK YOUU!!" and then they gave us our VIP towels and we were told to scoot so we went down the hallway and out the door!! And that was IT!!!

I. MET. THE. GAZETTE.

This is what I gave to them and Showed them.

I. SHOWED. THEM. MY. ART.

THEY. LLLOOOVVVEEEDDD. MY. ART.

AS MELISSA SAID, "it was a Total Eclipse Of The Art."

MY BIGGEST DREAM CAME TRUE.

[jadeender]

Becoming Savage

“We need to move as much as possible it's not safe to sleep out in the open.” Hyrule said leading the pack. “Unfortunate things happen here at night.”

Twilight walked on near the front of their group, his senses tuned as far out as he could, he wouldn’t let them be mobbed again. This was his job, his pack and he was going to protect them.

After what happened with Legend everyone was introspective it seemed, the talk having once again dried up. Not that Twilight particularly cared he was used to silence and more so since his fight with Savage. Twilight could still see the vision of the other wolf laying at his paws bleeding out.

Normally he would have been ashamed to have fought like that, to maul someone else to death, but he could say the situation made him all the more….. savage. Internally laughing at his own pun Twilight turned his attention back to their surroundings, considering shifting into wolf form to further enhance his senses. From what Hyrule had said they shouldn’t be taking any chances.

Twilight's eyes wandered to Time as he thought, his mentor looked better than he had all morning. But the man was in his element, Time was a fighter and damn good one though he tried to deny it.

“Eternal’s better.” Savage spoke from within his mind.

Twilight didn't rise to the bait but instead replied smoothly, “Time still won his fight. Like I did.”

Savage snarled. “For now mutt.”

Twi pulled out Savages mirror or as he had come to think of it, his own. Before their fight the back had portrayed a wolf in side profile one eye glaring out, but now it showed the a wolf laying with a snarl a symbol of goat like horns above it, the horns being the same that adorned his Ordon Shield.

Flipping the mirror to the reflective side Twilight looked at his reflection as it morphed into that of his dark, the darks golden eyes now unmasked starred into Twilight’s with hatred. A collar was around his neck obscured slightly by his dark wolf pelt.

“If you really think this is the worst thing I ever been held in then you’re sorely mistaken.” Savage said the mouth of his reflection moving in sync with his words.

Twilight looked up from the mirror once again checking his surroundings. “If you could break free you would have already.”

Savage remained silent but starred at Twilight defiantly unable to look away due to the confines of the mirror. Twilight broke eye contact and packed the mirror away in his bag.

The party continued on through the late evening. This Hyrule was abundant in monsters, they had stopped to fight battles at least ten separate times. They fought more Moblins, Goriya, Keese, and Lynels. By the time the sun had completely set their entire party was exhausted. They’d used so much energy, weaponry, and magic that they were down to their last reserves.

They made camp against a mountain side and set up a guard rotation with two guards instead of the usual one just in case. Twilight volunteered to take the first shift along with Time whom they all knew would be up all night. The others passed out quickly having eaten only apples for dinner as sleep became more important than food.

Twilight and Time took an uneventful first watch having to fight off a lone pair of Stalfos but otherwise they remained safe. Near the end of their four hour watch Time walked up to Twilight who had recently returned from scouting just outside of sight.

Twilight knew something was wrong when he saw Time’s scared eye open from the distance, and when he saw that eye was red his fear grew. Savages fear was noticeable in Twilight mind and only served to augment his own, attempting to calm down Twilight faced the man who was using his mentor.

“Come on mutt.” Eternal spoke as he walked past Twilight and kept moving away from camp. Deciding listen was the best option Twilight followed the man.

“You need to give me control now if you value your life.” Savage practically screamed.

“I can handle this, Time wont let him hurt me.” Twilight replied inside his head.

Savage laughed snidely. “Time can’t help you when Eternal is drowning you in his water. Dammit let me out.”  Savage pulled against the bond between their minds and tried to jerk control but Twilight stood fast.

“Ill handle this.” Twilight affirmed, he thought for a second. “Make my eyes red.”

“Why would I do that for you?” Savage sneered. “And how do you even know I can.”

“To make him think I’m you.” Twilight replied ignoring the second question.

“Are you planning on getting us killed?” The dark growled. “Because it seems like you are.”

“Just do it.” Eternal had stopped walking and was waiting. As Twilight stopped by Eternal he felt a shift he dearly hoped where his eyes changing color.

“Stop here mutt.” Eternal said looking back at camp before continuing. “It seems I’m the only one who remembered what we’re supposed to be doing. Oh well you want something done right you gotta do it yourself.”

Twilight stood still and waited for Eternal to continue speaking trying his best to guess what his dark must act like.

“The bottom line is, we are never making it to this witch.” Eternal said his cold red eyes glinting as he seemed excited about the prospect of being joined with his light forever. “I almost have full control of this body and I expect you take control of yours.”

Eternal starred Twilight down, the kind of glare that makes you stop in fear and squirm under it. “Or dont. I’ll just kill this lights pathetic body and wait for you to reform. You wouldn’t dare run away from me. You know the consequences for that, for yourself and for him.”

Twilight gulped keeping quiet. Savages voice was quiet as well the dark holding back for the palpable fear he held for Eternal.

“Well say something you weak excuse for an Erembour.” Eternal said his voice growing angrier.

“Y..yes Master.” Twilight squeaked slightly hoping to pass his hesitance off as lack of control. Eternal just waved him off.

“Be prepared, I’ll let you know when its time. You won’t disappoint me.” There was a finality to Eternal’s words as he moved past Twilight and headed back towards the camp as he walked past Eternal’s left eye turned blue once again and his still red scarred right eye closed.

Breathing out Twilight relaxed slightly and watched the body of his retreating mentor. Obviously the relationship Savage and Eternal had was not that of a student and teacher but that of a master and slave.

“What did he mean wait for you to reform?” Twilight asked the dark feeling the magic that masked his eyes dissipating.

“I’m not going to tell a light our secrets, I wasn’t raised by a fool.” Savage commented. Twilight once again pulled out the mirror so he could look at Savage face to face, or face to mirror as it were.

“No you weren’t.” Twilight commented looking at the dark, though he maintained the same bluster Savage was deflated his body language defeated. “I’m not going to let Eternal win you know.”

“You wouldn’t be the first to try and defy him, and most of that short list are dead. If you intend to keep up this charade of being me you need to learn how to drop the quivering voice, Eternal doesn’t take well to weakness, But neither do you, after all with what happened between us you’re the savage one.” Savage finished making a jab at his dark, he may have been somewhat co-operative but that just reminded Twilight he is dark and always would be.

Twilight packed his mirror away and made his way back towards camp to wake his replacement.

[kyuala]

monsta x in são paulo (19.07.19)

hey y'all this post is to tell my experience during my concert and hi touch event of the we are here world tour last friday night 🤩 so buckle up bc its a LONG ONE but i divided it into categories so u dont have to read everything if u dont want to!

the concert in general: ok so the concert was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. there were about 7 songs i didn’t really listen to a lot or liked before the concert but even those were amazing and had me jumping and screaming and going crazy. they’re all SO much more beautiful irl which is like !!!!!!!!! HOW. and they’re so so SO talented all the choreos were incredible and their voices!!! sound even better irl. hyungwon asked minhyuk to sing a little bit of play it cool acapella for us and his voice 😭😭😭 so sweet it’s like honey. they brought hero back to life which was. an experience to see live tbh. i got to the venue line at 9:30am (10.5 hours before the concert) and i was about maybe 15? rows away from the stage (bc i had to go pee real quick as soon as they let us inside) but im like 158cm (5'2) tall so even tho i was standing on this little protection thingy to be taller i still couldn’t see them that well :( i dont think i saw any choreos in full bc of that but it was still amazing to see them do it irl. they all introduced themselves in portuguese during the first ment it was super 🤩 adorable! most of them only said “oi, eu sou ___” (“hi, i am ___”) but some of them had longer phrases prepared (maybe kh, jh and ck? i believe) which was so awesome to see!! during the second ment, hw talked about how some of their songs were composed by their own members and he did that to introduce “our maknae’s song” (aka mohae) and my soul left my body. after jealousy there was the first vcr which was like a youtuber au vcr and it was so!!!!! cute hyungwon, minhyuk and wonho giving us styling, skincare and exercising tips respectively, jooheon making a burrito he named "honey-to", kihyun and kyun teaching us how to make coffee and how to speak english resp and of course nunu's famous asmr mukbang 🥰🥰🥰 it was honestly superrrrr cute and funny i remember hyungwon trying to spell a word in english and just going "..........ne" after the first two letters and then kyun snickering skejdkksdk and jooheon making fun of ck for something and ck laughing the fakest laugh i ever seen in my life lmao and i also remember ki telling us to be careful about a lot of things but most of all our hearts bc he's gonna steal them 😷🤒🤕 but yes i loved it it was v cute and v funny and i loved how they were all interacting with each other even tho it was separate videos. after the unit stages, hyungwon revealed that joo had actually changed up his routine for a more samba-like beat specially for brazil 🥺 he confirmed that and we went INSANE and started showing them our own beat (a classic carioca funk "tchu tcha tcha tchu tchu tcha" that we fo with our mouths/words) and at first they were all like ??????? but then they LOVED IT and joined in on the fun. mh and kh were dancing to it the most and it was so funny. hyungwon or minhyuk then asked jooheon if he could incorporate our beat into his beatboxing and he said it was possible and then we were all just going TCHU TCHA TCHA TCHU TCHU TCHA while he was beatboxing along and he said it was difficult skdjkekddk around five or six different times they told us to take steps back and step a little bit away from each other so we wouldn't hurt ourselves or feel ill (hyungwon did it the most, he actually spotted a girl nearly fainting in the front rows and brought staff's attention to her and he only stopped talking about it/got more relaxed when they did something about it). during this same ment they talked about sn's and wh's different choice of clothing for their unit stage and said it was more daring and sexy and shownu said that kihyun actually chose those clothes for them lmao and ki said he chose them bc he knew us brazilian mbbs would love it and we were like wow. They Know we're whores love that. then someone was like "u chose that?? ur kinda conservative tho????" and ki said he's been "open-minded since birth" KDJSKFKDK rip conservative brothers but the way the lady translated it accidentally kinda made it sound that he was like. open for romantic/sexual advances and we were all like 👀👀👀 OKAY. oh also sometime during the concert one of them slipped and nearly fell doing something stupid (i think wonho or changkyun) skndkskdk the second vcr was the seven deadly sins themed and wow. the PRODUCTION. the absolute ARTISTRY of it all. wheres their oscar. it was honestly super cool but minhyuk was the only member that hadn't appeared yet and the only sin left was lust so we were all like 👁️😏 but then it said AGONY. ????????? it was kinda confusing but amazing nonetheless kyun wanted to shoot hyungwon but then he didnt bc the underlying message was that they all committed sins and blamed themselves but managed to find forgiveness by being together aw <3 a random moment that i dont remember when it happened was when kyun was speaking portuguese to us and he was trying to say "vocês querem curtir?" (which is something like "do you want to have fun?") but he messed it up a bit and accidentally said "vocês querem cu...?" which means "do you want asshole?" and we were all like BOY DKEJDKEJDIDKFKS i dont think he knows what it actually means but he corrected himself real quick and moved on to the next song 💀 for the second to last ment they tried to convince us the concert was ending (lmao) and there was only one song left, so we were all shouting "não" ("no") and they were like "we cant go??????" and we were like "no!!!!!" and they were like :/ oh well guess we gotta stay kdnskdjs they had the brazilian flag up there for some time but they also somehow got an lgbt pride flag there too for the pics??? before the ending ment kihyun said that they all have strengths, as i recall kyun's was writing cool songs/lyrics, shownu's was being fun, i think minhyuk's was having a voice like honey? and i dont recall the rest but when he got to hyungwon he just said "being very tall" and we were all like LMAO SAY SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT HIM!!!! and then he said an actual compliment lol for the actual last ment they each said goodbye to us, i specifically remember wonho telling us that the energy we had and him performing on stage for us reminded him of why he was a singer and why he had to be on stage 🥺🥺🥺 and shownu agreed 🥺 kyun(?) said even though he's going back to korea he's gonna feel incomplete bc he's leaving brazil, ki said he liked us so much he could have another 6 concerts here bc our energy would be enough to keep him going and then said something really greasy that i dont remember but obviously loved at the moment. and then they said they're coming back next year 🤩 and they told us to take care of ourselves and wait for them and come back next year (in a bigger venue, they said!) and they all had their pinky fingers up and were saying "promete" ("promise", but as in the imperative verb) to us 😭😭😭

the songs: i was going to put my videos in this post but there’s a video limit so i’m gonna post them separately later but the first song was shoot out and unfortunately i didn’t get to film any of it because i was in SHOCK that they were REAL PEOPLE and RIGHT THERE u know dkjskdkd then was hero and it was INSANE to see it live??? seeing them do the “i can be your hero i can be your man” move IN REAL LIFE????? not to be a kihyun stan but i had kihyun tunnel vision during the entirety of the song lmfao then it was trespass and the energy was INSANE everybody was going absolutely crazy to it esp during the chorus and jooheon’s “excuse my charisma"s!!! after the ment they performed party time and we had this fan project and the people in my area had yellow cellophane on their phone lights and the people in the back had green ones (brazilian colors) and we had them on during the entirety of party time bc they mention brazil in the song and it was just so 🥰🥰🥰 such a vibe! one of the only songs i actually danced to lol party time was next and also a ~vibe~ we all danced a lot to it and after it was over, during the ment, hw asked mh to sing a little of it for us and he was sooo happy to see us sing along and sing the entire chorus even after he had stopped! it was super cute to see him smile so proudly like that. and then it was the loml, my fave mx song, a booty call anthem that somehow moves my heart, miss mohae and as soon as i heard the first few beats i SCREAMED and i was the only one doing that before everybody else realized the song had already started but i didnt even have time to be embarrassed bc i was literally tearing up. honestly hearing it live was one of the best moments of my life bc i have this huge emotional attachment to the song and it was just all super special, i was screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs and dancing and jumping and yelling. seeing kyun’s rap live was amazing and you could actually SEE how proud he was seeing so many people sing a song HE composed you know? he let us rap most of his part bc he was just in awe and wanted to see us sing it back to him. and hyungwon tried to rap jooheon’s part but he got it all messed up halfway through it was SO CUTE and jooheon had an arm around him and was BEAMING WITH LOVE the entire time 😍😍😍 everyone was fonding HARD at him. and the crowd was SO loud during the "don’t kill my vibe, i be on your way, i be, i be on your way” part it was actually deafening. i only recorded one of the choruses bc i wanted to enjoy the rest of the song but here it is! the next song was one of the other lomls, miss jealousy!!! it was absolutely STUNNING!! and yes the crowd went crazy when wonho mentioned shownu and yes that hyungwon+changkyun part IS as overwhelming to experience irl as it looks. after the youtuber vcr came the unit stages and oh. my. god  mh, hw and kh came out first and it was just. so sexy and elegant. and the vocals? 10/10 LOVED that men in suit shit. then was jooheon's and changkyun's stage and HOLY. FUCKIN. SHIT. absolutely my favorite performance of the night it was EVERYTHING to me. the energy was super fuckin cool and we were all jumping around and screaming while they rapped in sexy robes over a cool ass beat it was awesome. in the middle of the performance joo tried to flip a water bottle (???) and he actually failed lol but we were so hype we didnt even notice/care we just hyped him TF up. he later apologized for it during the next ment and the real time translator lady said "desculpa" ("sorry") and changkyun said "yeah, desgupa" immediately after 🥺 then jooheon had a drum solo which ??????? i had zero fucking idea about i was just kinda standing there in shock while he absolutely murdered that drum set right in front of our eyes. AND THEN ck came back and started to rap along to his drumming and i know im saying this a lot but it was SEXY okay i have no other words they were both in muscle tees just out there being their sexiest selves UGH. and AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH then came wonho and shownu's stage and uhhhhhhh wow. SEXY AS WELL but also kinda angsty? idk but i loved it they absolutely killed it with the dance and they were wearing see through shirts and the crowd went insane. after that there were the songs i didn't listen to a lot or liked before the concert but they were all still amazing to me!! honestly, i do love u, white sugar and no reason were all SUPER cute!! AND THEN. miss myself came on and oh my god. it was a spiritual experience to see it live. absolutely amazing and breathtaking even though it's so simple. like it's just so elegant and moving. i had to close my eyes a couple times to feel the moment and it was an amazing sensation. also!! a few girls gave us free banners to lift after kihyun's high note and they said 주변을 돌아봐 내겐 다 너니까 꿈이 아냐 (shownu's line, "turn and look around, because you're everything to me this isn't a dream") and it was SO emotional to see a sea of these red banners showing them our love!! 

it was amazing AND THEN. dramarama oh my god it was so freakinggggg cool! to see the performance live, jooheon milly rocking right in front of my eyes... amazing. everyone went insane during rapline's first part. one of my fave performances for sure!! next song after the ment was oh my and IT WAS AMAZING!! the choreo was just stunning and the energy!! everyone was just jumping around and screaming the lyrics, esp kihyun's line before the last chorus!! and im absolutely obsessed with the choreo, honestly. then special and fallin' were SO COOL, just like the other upbeat songs, the energy was amazing, everyone was jumping around and screaming the lyrics. fallin' was especially hype as hell and minhyuk did this funny low voice dkjskdkd then it was alligator and listen. i hated it when it came out but when they performed it i had never loved a song so much in my life. it was CLEAR it was one of the performances they were working the hardest on and their talents were really shining through 😔 i had ki and shownu tunnel vision unfortunately i missed kyun's iconic hip thrusts sksjdks but theres always next year i guess! so they had just convinced us it was their last song but after a few mins hyungwon came back out and we met H.One hehe i didnt think i would like it bc i thought it would be mostly edm and i dont really like edm but it was just some really good remixes?? he played taki taki and mi gente and everybody went fuckin insane like i remember my knee hurting super bad during this part and he was just. chilling on the stage sjejdjsk BUT THEN CAME THE TRUE GO CRAZY AAHHHH GO STUPID MOMENT OF THE CONCERT: RODEO. boy was it a fuckin ride. truly the time to fuckin wild out at an mx concert. i think it was during this song that minhyuk (?) put a brazilian flag around jooheon's shoulders so we were even more hype!! last song was by my side and it was super calm and bittersweet and like a "goodbye, ily" song :( we had these paper hearts someone gave us and we kept them up for them during the entire song, it was so lovely

the hi touch: ok so the concert ended and we waited around 50 mins for the ht event to start and we were all in a single line that went behind a curtain and THEY WERE ALREADY BEHIND THE CURTAIN SO THERE WAS NO WAY TO PREPARE FOR IT KDJDJDJD they were all standing behind a table and on the other side of the table was some of their staff on a single line to keep people from taking pictures of them and we had to go through the line of staff and the table to see them/touch their hands. it was SUPER rushed i dont think i spent 3 seconds there. my brain absolutely froze bc it was my first time at a hi touch (or first time meeting a celebrity, ever) and it was like 7 people i love and admire all at once so i couldn't manage to say more than "hi" to them and just look at them in shock and i was going faster as they (staff) told me to go faster (stupid) but they were also telling us to use only one hand and not touch their hand with both of ours but fuck that lol so in general they are all real people which is insane??? but also they ARE all SO much more beautiful in real life. like they literally glow. my friends told me they would seem taller and skinnier than i thought but i honestly didnt have the time or the brains to think about that or notice any of that. hyungwon IS tall as fuck though

kihyun: just my luck, my first bias was the first one of the line. as i walked behind the curtain there was a taller girl in front of me in line so i couldn't see much so i had like no time to process anything ksjskdks as soon as i saw it was him i went "oh my god, hi" (yes in english bc i know he understands basic english and doesn't speak portuguese lol) and he was SO sweet like it was literally half a second but his face softened and he said "hiiii" back and gave me the sweetest smile :( hes an angel on earth and i can prove it ok. hi touch aside, he's VERY confident onstage and also VERY greasy lmao he was shooting greasy stuff at us left and right and we ATE IT ALL UP. but he's also incredibly sweet and funny but like we been knew. every time he said something greasy he would expectantly wait for the lady to finish translating so he could see our reaction and afterwards he ALWAYS had that smile where he gets those dimples below his eyes :( he's one of the most talkative members!

shownu: mistre hyunwoo was second in the line and i was still in shock from seeing the loml so all i said was "hi" and he honestly seemed confused that i, a brazilian, was trying to speak english to him, a korean DJJSKDKD but he said hi very quick and had this small smile. he's taller than he seems?? i think? at least onstage and he's also very bashful no matter what he's saying lol unless it's serious stuff like him agreeing with wonho during the ending ment

wonho: ok so i dont remember the order exactly after the first two bc i started to like. have brain death but i THINK it was wonho but i saw him VERY quickly. idk if it's bc i saw him right after shownu or if he was bending forward or what but he's actually shorter than i thought he was. he had the HUGEST smile on his face and was super excited to say hi back to my dumbstruck face lol he's also?? surprisingly commanding?? like he's not imposing or anything bc he's super gentle but he told us to be quiet while he was speaking (.......lol) bc we were screaming and when he started to speak again this group of girls continued screaming and he looked at them DIRECTLY, FROM THE STAGE, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MENT, POINTED AT THEM and deadass went "i have already told you to be quiet twice" and everyone was like??? in shock bc we didn't know if he was serious so we were just like 😳😳😮😮 it was very bizarre honestly a surreal moment to see wonho talk like that to any monbebe ever (for the record im not saying he was rude or anything, it was just very surprising to see that happen). i clearly remember these 3 older ladies referring to him as "primo" ("cousin") for some reason during the entire concert and idk why but that's so funny to me? it's kinda stuck in my mind now im gonna start calling him primo. he ripped his shirt off a total of two (2) different times, maybe three, one of them unprompted and unrequested, during a slow song. love that for him

hyungwon: oh boy. here we go. when my friends told me he was the most different one irl and that he was incredibly prettier i was like ok and then i saw him on the stage and was like yeah alright he's a little different but nothing too exceptional but holy. crap. he was never my type but when i saw him face to face i think my mind literally blacked out. like my body was still functioning but my mind just completely shut down when i saw him smiling at me and saying hi. like that didn't happen with kihyun, one of my ULTIMATE BIASES, but it happened when i saw HIM, that's how beautiful he is. im not using any of these words lightly, but he's beautiful, pretty, stunning, overwhelmingly handsome, an angel. he's just indescribable. his hair is so long and pretty and his face is just so soft and beautiful and he has the prettiest looking lips. has heavy vampire boyfriend vibes also. one of the quietest members, i barely have any pics of him bc he was rarely ever on the big screen bc he didnt say much. tall as hell too

minhyuk: listen i am SO SAD about this i was so overwhelmed by hyungwon's face my mind completely blanked when i got to minnie and i have no idea what i did, i don't even know if i said anything or if i just stared at him dumbfounded sjejjdjsd i have no recollection of his face at ALL like my mind was not able to process anything after hyungwon BUT i know he is pretty as hell (wbk) and he's also even sexier on stage!! like his presence and his moves are just very sensual and he is one of the most talkative ones too! we already know that but he is SUPER funny he never missed an opportunity to do something completely bizarre i just love that funky lil cowboy HE HAD A COWBOY HAT OVER HIS CAP DURING RODEO AND HE ALSO WORE THE FUNNIEST BRAZILIAN FLAG SUNGLASSES DURING HIS ENDING MENT HERE HE IS

jooheon: yall. he is SO. so so so SOOOO much prettier irl like he doesn't LOOK any different like hyungwon does but he's just even more beautiful up close and he also looks taller than i pictured? his whole face was just lit up seeing us and he was super excited to be saying hi to me it was so sweet :( like i am actually even more in love with him now after experiencing that i even dreamed about him that night lmao and oh god I cant even describe how cute his eyesmile + dimple combo is irl 😔😔😔 he talked a lot too and he literally speaks in POUT whenever he said something most of the time it sounded like he was whining it was so cute jdjdjfjd but when he's performing he's a BEAST his stage presence is un-fucking-paralleled he definitely has the strongest one in the group. his mere being there just commands you to pay attention to him in awe it's just very inexplicable. he's just super cute and nice and an angel 

changkyun: oh god I didn't wanna write about my experience with him during the hi touch jsjsjdjs but im gonna try to keep this as neutral as possible. so after i got to jooheon he was the last in line (which was my ideal situation, my two biases - ki and him - in opposite ends so even if i did freeze when i saw one id have time to get over it before the other one) and when i got to him he didn't look at my face, he was looking at the beginning of the line (???) for some reason, so even though i grabbed his hand and said hi i dont remember if he even said it back and i didn't get to look him in the eyes like all the others, which made me really angry as soon as i walked out and then really upset bc i spent 110 reais to see them and one of my two faves didn't look at me when i was right in front of him, but u know it is what it is. i dont think he did it on purpose or that he's an asshole or anything like that, it's just something that happened and upset me. but aside from that, the thing that stuck with me the most out of the entire concert: HE IS INCREDIBLY!!! SEXIER IN REAL LIFE like all my friends who saw mx say hyungwon is the most different but for me it was kyun. he's SO MUCH MORE HANDSOME than in the internet, pictures really do not do him justice. and he has this really hot careless, cool guy attitude in general, like when they/we were hyping him up bc of mohae he was like 🤙🏼 he stared at the floor a lot while the others were talking and like. he knows he's hot thats VERY clear lmao. he's surprisingly talkative. he's very effortless with his moves when he's dancing and that's not saying he doesn't put in effort he just makes it seem so. easy and nicely flowing idk. he was wearing a cap during the hi touch and holy fucking hell he has the nicest profile ive ever seen. thats all

sidenote: PLEASE be careful when camping days before a concert or even hours. a LOT of the people who had spent too much time in line to be closer to the stage had to leave the concert halfway through bc they were literally about to pass out after having spent so much time with poor sleep and unhealthy eating/drinking. enjoy your concert but also take care of yourselves!!

[controloffandoms]

Paparazzi (J.A.)

Prompt: Requested by anonymous for a friend. (I’m sorry, I lost the ask so I came up with this without the prompt)

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader, slight Thomas Padalecki x reader

Words: 3193

Warnings: cursing, Paparazzi, panic, anxiety

Notes: I may or may not have been reading a lot of fics about the daughter/dad relationship between Jensen and his daughter, the reader. For the purposes of this story, Thomas is 17, Shep is 10 and Odette is 5. JJ is 8, Arrow and Zep are 4. Maison is 13 and West is 16. Obviously I’m changing the years of birth :)

Part 2

Ever since you could remember, you had been put in the spotlight. Your father, Jensen Ackles, was a huge star in the show Supernatural and everyone wanted to know about his personal life...and that included you. Not to mention that you had a weird family from the cast of Supernatural. You had your Uncles Jared, Misha, Jim, and so on. You had you Aunts Ruth, Kim, and so on.

The nice thing was that you could shield your younger siblings from the paps. You could almost make their life normal. You were the oldest, you could grab all of the attention in the room in order to keep your siblings at a safe distance from those who would try to get too close to your younger siblings.

You weren’t Danneel child biologically. You did call her mom, though. Your mother had dropped you off at Jensen’s when you were just a baby. That had been eighteen years ago. You’d met Danneel in 2007. It had been a while since your father had met someone and you knew he was seeing someone, but you hadn’t gotten to meet her until about a year after they had started dating. You were seven at the time and loved her instantly. When you turned nine, Danneel and your father were expecting their first child and you finally got your wish for a little sister. When you turned thirteen, you got two more siblings and you loved them all unconditionally.

You would do anything for them. Which is why you were in your current situation. “You remember the store Mom went in, right JJ,” you asked her quickly.

“Yeah, the Victoria Secret store,” she replied.

“Good, take your brother and sister into the store and find Mom, okay? Tell her that we need to be leaving soon,” you gave your sister a tight smile, trying to keep calm.

You watched as they left through the back of the music store. You watched as some of the paps went to follow and you had to think fast. You started playing the piano in a rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody accompanied with the singing. That certainly drew the paps eyes. They swarmed you and you inwardly cringed. You hated singing and playing any instrument in front of anyone, let alone paparazzi.

As you finished the small segment of the song, you stood from the piano and tried to make your way out of the store, but there was no out. Your breath picked up slightly. You hated being trapped. The paps just kept shouting questions at you. Some of them on how you learned to play the piano and sing, others on very personal matters, others you couldn’t distinguish. “I need to go-please.”

You tried to push through the paps, but they kept pushing you back. “P-please, I need to leave. I have-I have to go,” you whispered.

They kept shouting questions and kept preventing you from leaving. Your breathing continued to get faster as tears started to prickle at your eyes. You don’t know how long it was until someone was pushing their way through the crown and putting an arm around your shoulder, shouting back at the paps and forcing his way through the waves of men and women trying to get a story.

Once you were a safe distance from the store, the person stopped walking. “Hey sweetheart, are you alright,” he asked.

“Daddy,” you buried your head in his chest and wrapped your arms around him tightly. He wrapped his arms around you just as tight, placing his chin on the top of your head and talking calmly to you.

“It’s okay, don’t work yourself up. I’m sorry they attacked you like that. I thought y’all would be fine for a couple of hours by yourselves,” he hugged you even closer, running a hand over your back in an attempt to ground you.

“They-they just came out of nowhere and I was-I was with JJ and the twins and I knew that they would be scared if they stayed and I told them find Mom and then some of the paps wanted to follow them so I had to distract them and then they just all crowded me and they wouldn’t let me out and they just kept coming and screaming at me,” you sobbed slightly, holding your dad tighter.

“I’m sorry baby. I should have been there sooner.”

“Are Mom and the kids okay,” you asked after a quiet moment.

“They are just fine. They’re waiting in the car. Dani’s worried about you,” your father responded, pulling away from you slightly. “Ready to go, kid?”

A couple of weeks passed and you were finally feeling less afraid of leaving the house. As you walked through the door of the house after your classes, you were met with an eight year old running into your legs followed by the four year olds stumbling over each other as they ran towards you. “Hello, what’s the occasion for you all to attack me the second I get in the house,” you raised an eyebrow at your parents as they rounded the corner with smiles on their faces.

“Mommy and Daddy can’t take us to the park and said that maybe you could! They have work,” Arrow smiles up at you.

You chuckle but nod. “Hmm, I’ll have to check my schedule. Let’s see, I did have that scheduled tickle monster attack for my siblings at 3 PM, but I guess I could bump that up in order to take y’all to the park, Munchkin,” you raced towards JJ and picked her up, tickling her relentlessly.

“No, stop it! (Y/N),” she whined. You laughed and put her down.

You turned to your parents and smiled, “when should I be expecting y’all back?”

“We will be going to dinner at Jared’s house around seven. Do you think you could bring your siblings over? Dani and I will be coming directly from work.”

“Sure, Dad. We’ll go to the park, maybe get a light snack and either do something in town or come back here until it’s time to come over for Dinner,” you stated.

“Great, thanks baby, you’re the best,” he responded, placing a kiss on your head and doing the same to your siblings.

“Really, you’re amazing. I don’t know what we would do without you,” Dani added as she brought you into a huge hug while kissing the top of your head.

“Mom, it’s not a big deal. I love watching out for the little ones. They remind me of the energy I use to have and wish I could get back.”

“Don’t we all,” she responded.

“Alright, Miss JJ, I need to change and then we’ll head out. Help your brother and sister with their shoes,” you called out. An excited ‘okay’ was called back to you and you went to your room to change.

“JJ, don’t go to far away. I need to be able to keep an eye on you,” you called as you pushed the twins on the swings and JJ played around with a couple of the other kids at the park.

“Single mom,” the woman next to you asked.

You laughed slightly, “no, oldest sibling that only has two hands.”

“Think of it this way, the day you have your own family, it will come much easier after doing all of this now,” she responded, “and I’m speaking from experience.”

“I would hope so.”

JJ came running back over, “can we go get snacks,” she asked, face flushed from the running around she did.

“Yes, please (Y/N),” Arrow yelled, clapping her hands.

“Snacks,” Zep asked.

“Okay then, let’s go find a place to get something to tide you over to dinner.” You grabbed the twins hands and instructed JJ to walk close to you.

You walked a couple of blocks until you found a place to go. “How about we get ice cream? Just don’t tell Mom and Dad,” you winked at JJ.

“Yes,” the twins shouted. JJ nodded, bouncing on her feet. You decided to save yourself some trouble and sit the twins down with JJ in charge of making sure they don’t get up. You went to get the ice cream for the four of you.

You paid for the ice creams and sat a table. JJ took a huge bite out of her cone. You set your ice cream aside and get Zep and Arrow ready to eat theirs by trying to protect their clothes the best you could. Finally, you gave them the cups of ice cream and turned to yours, taking a bite. “Try not to get it on your clothes, Jay.”

You spent a couple of hours walking around town until it was about six twenty. “Okay, who wants to go see Uncle Jared and everyone else,” you asked. You got variation of happy sounds so you headed towards the house.

You were almost there when things turned sideways. You tried not to stop, but they swarmed you. You gave your phone to JJ with your dad’s number already dialed. You put had her get on your back. You put a twin on each hip and hugged them close and they returned the favor by burying into you. The second you heard one of the twins start crying, you lost it.

“HEY! BACK THE HELL UP, YOU ARE SCARING THE CHILDREN,” you yelled. The paparazzi went quiet, but you didn’t stop. “You guys would do anything to get a damn story and I’m fucking tired of it! There are better ways to get your stories than ganging up on people! Back the hell up and let me through or I swear to God it’s not going to be pretty,” you glared at the paps in front of you.

They moved slowly to let you through. JJ quietly handed your phone to you as you moved through the crowd who was slowly starting to get louder. “Dad, yeah. I’m three blocks away. Concord Street. Please hurry, I think they’re gonna start up again,” you quietly whispered through the phone.

Not only were the paps freaking your sibling out, but they were freaking you out, but you didn’t get to hide away from them because you were protecting your siblings. You sure as hell weren’t going to let them be even more freaked out by the jackasses.

You backed up from the paps-who were starting their shouting again. “You want a story? Why don’t you write about how paparazzi don’t understand the term ‘personal space’ or how the paparazzi are willing to scare the hell out of three children in order to try and get the juiciest story? I don’t care if you swarm me when I’m alone, but don’t you dare do it when I have my siblings with me! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

More questions were shouted your way and you ignored them. “You wonder why no one wants to talk to you and this is why. You take and take and take and never give back. You do anything for a story that isn’t even true. You twist the words and situations and you give bad reputations to people who deserve so much better than that. Fuck off and stop scaring my family,” you growled, chancing a look behind you to see your father, Jared, and Misha hurrying towards you.

You placed Arrow and Zep down and they ran to your father. You let Misha take JJ and Jared took care of you. Before you could completely walk away, you turned back and got out of Jared’s grip. “And another thing, why don’t you try being decent enough human beings to try and get the stories straight. Stop scaring the shit out of people and book an appointment to talk to someone. Or is that too complicated for you to follow? You should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves! You made children cry, you scarred them and for what? For me to yell at you? For me to yell at you and you to make up a story about how mentally unstable I am? To shine a bad rep on my family? Yeah you should be fucking ashamed,” you growled and let Jared lead you away.

You climbed into the car, biting your lip. All attempts to talk to you slowly died out once you got to Jared’s house. You quickly got out of the car and walked into the house. You bypassed Dani and the others, heading straight for a bathroom. You locked the door behind you and looked into the mirror. You hadn’t realized you’d started crying.

You wiped your tears and let out a couple of shaky breaths. You turned the sink on and splashed your face multiple times before wiping it off. You looked at your form in the mirror, seeing the shaking easily and you took a couple of deep breaths to calm down.

A knock shook you out of your head. “Just a minute,” you called out quietly.

“It’s Tom, open the door, Ackles.”

You debated for a minute before unlocking the door to let him in. He walked in, closing and locking the door behind him. You had sat leaning on the cabinet before Tom had turned to look at you. He joined you on the floor, sitting close enough so that the sides of your bodies barely touched.

It was quiet for a few minutes before Tom spoke. “They don’t know when to stop. They don’t know boundaries and they think that they can do anything. I’m scared of them too. I hate being in the spotlight. It’s okay to be afraid,” he stated.

You leaned a head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist, “I know...it’s just like they’ve been targeting me and Jay and Arrow and Zep and they freak me out but I can’t show that to my siblings or else they would be even more scared. So I push it back and handle it. Then it all catches up and it crashes down all at once,” you whispered back. Tom’s arm pulled you closer, his head resting on top of yours.

“It’s going to be okay. They’ll find someone else to chase after soon enough.”

“But they shouldn’t! It’s fucked what they’re doing and they know it. They made all three of my siblings cry today, Tom! That’s not alright,” you brought a hand to your face, wiping away your tears.

“I know that. Them making you cry isn’t alright either...but there’s not much we can do about it. We just have to keep moving on and making sure you and your siblings are alright.”

You sighed and nodded slightly. “Yeah...but I need a moment to pull myself together,” you responded.

“And I’m right here to help you get it together.”

Everyone had decided to stay at Jared’s for the night. He had plenty of rooms to share anyway. You couldn’t sleep though. The paparazzi swarm had really gotten to you. Slowly over dinner, you had forgotten about it, even if it was just for a little while, but now it was coming back full force.

You got yourself up from the bed and quietly made your way to the kitchen. You grabbed a glass and filled it with water. You sighed and leaned against the counter. “Couldn’t sleep,” Tom asked from the doorway. His tall frame was covered in shadows.

You shook your head. “My brain won’t shut off,” you whispered.

Tom walked into the kitchen and began getting things out from the cupboards. “I have an idea.”

You shook your head as Tom started putting ingredients into a bowl. “You are insane, Thomas Padalecki,” you laughed and started to help him.

You relaxed into the couch, Tom sitting beside you as you both were eating the cookies you’d made and were drinking the milk. “I’m surprised, they actually taste good,” you looked at Tom.

He fake gasped and placed a hand to his heart, “I’m offended. I am a wonderful cook and baker.”

“The last time you cooked, you burned the pasta.”

“That was one time,” he quietly exclaimed. He placed an arm over your shoulder and leaned further against the couch.

You relaxed even more against him, feeling sleep pull you in. “Thanks for this, Tom. You didn’t have to stay and put up with me,” you yawned.

“I’d do anything to see that beautiful smile on your face,” he responded as you fell into the arms of sleep.

You slowly woke to the sound of muttering voices. As you slowly became aware of everything around you, you felt the arm around your waist. You could also feel the mattress below you moving….wait, that wasn’t a mattress. You opened your eyes and squinted at the light. Somehow during the night, you and Tom had moved to lay fully onto the couch with you on top of Tom.

The voices got slightly louder as they entered from another room. “We should wake them up,” your father stated.

“It looks like they had a long night, Jens, let them sleep,” Gen replied.

“Yeah, let them sleep,” Tom’s chest rumbled under you. His voice was deeper from lack of use. His arm around you tightened slightly as he started to doze off again.

You flushed slightly and bit your lip. “You should see your faces,” Misha lost it. Curious, you looked over the couch to where your father and Jared had varying degrees of shock, excitement, and amusement on their faces.

“Your faces are kind of funny,” you mumbled and placed your head back on Tom’s chest, feeling the tiredness sink in again.

“Oh no you don’t,” your father responded. “Time to go (Y/N).”

“I don’t want to,” you grumbled and snuggled more into Tom’s chest, wishing to go back to sleep. You heard multiple choked laughs at the response. You assumed your father was giving them a look that made them try to be serious.

“Tom, (Y/N) needs to go,” Misha stated.

“No,” he responded.

You laughed quietly. “We can do this again sometime. We can talk later,” you whispered, not really wanting to make your father angry.

Tom made a sad noise but his arm slowly released you. He sighed and sat up. Because you were on his chest, you went with him. “Hello there,” he smirked as your faces were inches from each other.

“H-Hey. Um, I have to-I’ve got to g-go,” you quickly got off Tom and leaned down to give him an awkward hug. “Talk to you later,” you rushed.

“Yeah,” he smiled genuinely. “Maybe next time we won’t be so rudely interrupted,” he smirked.

Your face flushed even redder and you made a couple of unintelligible sounds. “I-uh-I d-don’t think-that’s not-I-bye Tom,” you stuttered and hurried out of the room, catching small glimpses of the adults’ faces. Most were close to cracking up. Jared had a proud but amused look on his face and Jensen’s was stone hard. This was going to be a fun ride home.

Supernaturalites

@dragon-star-light @lifelovelaughangell123 @clarinette07 @jessikared97 @the-wintergirl

[negasonicimagines]

Gladdest (Soulmate AU)

For this, I’ll be using the soulmate AU where what happens to your soulmate’s body happens to you. I’m not sure who originally came up with this. Basically, how it works, is like, if your soulmate gets punched in the face, you feel like you’ve been punched in the face. If your soulmate dies, you don’t die, but you feel it. Same with broken bones, you’ll feel it, but your arm won’t actually be broken. But not just pain, other stuff. Like if your soulmate cries, you’ll feel it, but you don’t cry unless they’re super heartbroken, or if they get a really good hug you feel it, too. In my version of this AU, the pain and other feeling doesn’t start until you turn sixteen. Imagine how fucked up it would be if that wasn’t the case and you had a partner older than you? Like, while 13-year old Bill gets in a fight, his soulmate, who is only 3, feels the same punches and kicks. It’d be so fucked up.

warnings: nsfw (but no actual sex, just a lot of talking about it [and masturbation] and some sexually tense scenes), the reader nearly has a panic attack (again, i know, sorry. what can I say? I project), & reader has a thing for.... erotic asphyxiation. let me know if i missed anything.

I am very open to writing a part two with smut... I just chickened out with this because I felt it wouldn’t be good writing.

You’d been sixteen for a little while now, and there hadn’t been much contact from your soulmate aside from the occasional feel of a phone falling on your face and smacking it.

It’s the beginning of a new school year at Xavier’s, and you’re pretty thrilled. Your roommate this year is your best friend, Ellie. Okay, not just your best friend, she’s your crush, too. Do I really have to say, at this point?

“Hey,” she greets you, sounding rather sullen as she enters your dorm, where you sit on the edge of your bed.

“What’s up?” you ask.

“I turned sixteen over the summer and I haven’t felt anything to give me a hint. All my soulmate does is cry.”

“All my soulmate does is drop their phone on their face,” you offer a complaint in return, and the two of you lock eyes for a moment, one of realization.

“No,” Ellie says. “No.” She’s bright red, immediately thinking of just how many hot summer nights she was kept up, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, gasping for breath at the way her soulmate’s fingers curled just right, just fucking right. There’s no way you, her crush and her best friend, were that good.

“No, can’t be,” you agree.

“Could be,” she reminds you.

“It’d make sense,” you admit.

“I hate everyone else but you.”

“We could try to find out,” you suggest.

She pinches herself.

“Ow! Not like that!” You whine, clutching at your arm. “Oh, well, I guess it’s too late th-” Ellie cuts you off with her eyes alone.

“Where does all that energy come from, Y/N?! What are you, the Energizer bunny?! At least three times a night, every night! What the hell?!”

You blush deeply, scratching the back of your neck. You hadn’t exactly expected you’d meet your soulmate anytime soon, or that they’d be bold enough to comment on your habits.

“I dunno, I thought it was normal for kids our age…” you mumble.

“Oh, yeah, well some people like sleeping and not screaming into the pillow because their soulmate has a little too much fun doing the five finger shuffle!”

“Please, louder. I think a few people in Antarctica didn’t hear you,” you retort, looking up at her from where you were sitting with a challenging expression.

“We’ve been friends for all this time and I never knew what a horny bastard you are,” she remarks.

“Well, I’m not the one who was ‘screaming’ in pleasure,” you mutter.

“I heard that!” she says, her expression still adorably indignant.

“If you hated it so much, you should’ve just got those over the counter meds, Antifel or whatever.”

“I- I…” She sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t hate it that much,” she admits, and you smile a bit. “But I wasn’t a fan of the choking,” she adds, gesturing at your scarf, your favorite one that she never would’ve guessed hides the bruises from where you’ve choked yourself with a belt, at least not before. “I’m more of a choker than a ‘chokee’, but, I guess that’d be obvious, wouldn’t it? Considering we’re soulmates and all.”

You nod, your eyes now on your lap, the floor, her tee shirt, the lamp in the corner, anything that isn’t her eyes, and she smirks.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?”

“A little,” you quietly reply, and she sits next to you on your bed.

“Let’s cool down,” she offers. “We’ve just seen each other after months of purely texting and the occasional phone call.”

“Thanks,” you respond, finding it easier to breathe.

“Why were you crying so much?” Ellie asks, addressing her original observation.

“Just depressed and lonely and stuff. I don’t have friends in my hometown, not like you.”

“You’ll always have me,” she says. “I mean it.”

“I’d hope so, soulmate,” you laugh off the seriousness of the conversation, and she sighs, looking to your eyes with her own soulful ones.

“I’m glad it’s you,” she tells you.  “I don’t think I’d be able to stand anyone else.”

“Yeah, right!” you huff out a laugh, confused at her sudden emotional openness. Sure, she was more honest about her feelings with you than anyone else, but that didn’t mean that she was a completely open book. Who was?

“You’re not disappointed, are you?” Ellie wonders because of your remark.

“God, no! I- I actually have a really big crush on you,” you admit.

“Yeah?” she asks, the cutest little grin on her face, you know the one. “I have a crush on you, too.”

You blush again.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m not very good at flirting or anything like that. I don’t really care about much of anyone at all, and you’re definitely the only person I’ve really cared about in a romantic way, so…”

“No, it’s not that! I- You- You being really good at flirting is what’s got me like this. And the fact that I’m a dork who’s really bad at flirting contributes,” you explain.

“I am? Good at flirting, I mean.”

“Well, with me, at least,” you tell her.

“Um… Sorry if it’s lame to ask, but… Can I kiss you?”

“Of course! And it’s not lame to ask at all, El, I appreciate it actua- Mmf!”

You could live forever in the feeling of her lips on yours, her hands oh-so carefully holding your cheeks.

“Sorry,” she shyly says, as she slowly pulls away from you, looking in your eyes. “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a really, really long time. Pretty much since we met, actually.”

“R-really?” you ask, a bit breathless and definitely still flustered.

“Yeah, you’re perfect. In, like, every way. It’s the worst and the best.”

“I’m perfect?! But you’re- You’re you!” you argue, and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m so lucky.”

“No, I’m the lucky one,” she disagrees.

“We can both be lucky,” you tell her, and she sighs.

“I suppose that’s a good compromise,” she decides. “So, what should we do before dinner? We’ve got a couple hours to kill, but I don’t think either of us has much more to say that wouldn’t be repetitive or… Something.” She blushes again, cheeks bright pink.

You blush back, reminded that she knew all about you and the things you did to yourself behind doors. “R-right,” you reply. Hey, you may be a horny motherfucker, but that doesn’t make you any less of a bottom.

“Can I see?” she asks, touching at your scarf. You nod, and she unwraps the scarf. She carefully touches the spotted bruises with her fingers. “With the belt you’re wearing?”

You can’t even speak. You nod, and the ghost of a smile graces her face before she just barely presses her lips to the bruises closest to her, on the side of your neck. Your hand quickly grabs her bicep tightly, and she stops, looking to you with concern.

“I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried aw-”

“No, no, it’s good, I’m just… Sensitive there,” you admit, and one of the biggest smiles you’ve seen her wear is on her lips.

“Yeah?” she asks, taking her crossbody bag off of her shoulder and opening it. She takes out a bottle of Antifel pills. “How sensitive?”

“Oh God, um… I- Um…” Your nerves are really getting to you, and your breathing gets heavier as you stare at the bottle. This is really happening. It’s really happening. You’d always wanted to, especially with her, but now that it’s a reality, you feel on the brink.

Ellie can recognize that look in your eyes, and it’s a look she’d hoped she’d never be the cause of.

“Shit, Y/N. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I- Um, I just- I want to? But I- I just- I don’t know, it’s just getting really hard to breathe, and uh, not in a hot way,” you joke nervously.

“Hey, you can want to and not be ready to right this minute. We haven’t even been on a date yet, okay? I’m really sorry if I made you feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to,” Ellie tells you, and she feels immensely guilty either way.

“No! I liked you kissing me, especially where you did, but, you’re right. We should probably adjust to the news and put a label on whatever this is before we do anything too serious.”

Ellie nods. “You always were the more logical one. I’ll put these in the medicine cabinet and we can just… Talk about stuff, like we always do.”

“But with more kissing and cuddling, I hope?” you request, and she nods, going to put the bottle away before returning to find you bundled up in her comforter. “It’s so cozy…” you practically sing, at least to her.

“This is a dream,” she sighs happily, slipping off her shoes and joining you in her bed. You spoon her side, and she hums in content, stroking your hair.

“You’re in a good mood,” you comment. Ellie is not a very cheerful person, at least not openly. So, to see her like this was surprising.

“Yeah, of course I am. It’s you. It’s really you. I’ve never been happier in my life,” she says, having really been hit with the fact that you’re her soulmate. All hers. “All mine…” she hums.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special… I mean it. I’m really not all that.”

“Please be my girlfriend,” she requests.

“Only if you’ll be mine,” you reply, and she scoffs.

“I think that’s how that works, babe.”

Your heart skips a beat and you stare at her in wonder.

“Sorry for not asking if pet names were okay…It’s just something I like, it’s really stupid.”

“No, I really like it, hence the dumb stare and the lack of breathing.”

She chuckles, holding you tighter. You smile with her, glad that she’s happy.

“I hope you don’t feel like you have to over-exaggerate how happy you are. It’s okay if you’re not ridiculously happy about finding your soulmate.”

“Oh, no, I’m as happy as I sound. I’m, uh, definitely a textbook case of Lesbian That’s A Grumpy Bitch Til She Gets A Girlfriend. But then again, I’ll probably just be a significantly less grumpy bitch to everyone but you, sorry.”

“I don’t mind, I like you being your bitchy self,” you reply, being rewarded with a kiss placed atop your head that sends tingles dancing down your body. “Mm… I like that.”

“Good,” Ellie responds. “I’m glad.”

“I’m gladder,” you tease.

“I’m gladdest...”