#i could only see their friends messages and we all just started playin together. it was this weird evolve your creacher game

[jadeneppy]

Ojuuhh the roads still look kinda bad from the snow but i gotta go pick up a packagie

[watevermelon]

✧ Jealous!Atsumu x Reader; Finally returning home after traveling with the MSBY Black Jackals, Atsumu stakes his claim over you. (nsfw)

➳ A/N: TYSM!! Message received ;) ➳ Contains: jealous smut; possessive / dominant sex; semi-public; some light choking; Osamu calls during sex and Atsumu makes you answer ✧   Masterlist

-----xXxXxXxXxXx-----

“Atsumu, please.” You moaned out, “ We should go home first...”

“Don’t ya worry yer pretty little head.”

Eyes forcibly shuttered closed, you were basically begging Atsumu to stop.

The setter just continued to ignore you, his fingers settled inside you as you uttered contradictory pleas. You wanted more pressure, but you also wanted to do this at home. Your begging rotated between asking for more and attempting to persuade him to finally go to your shared apartment.

But there was one thing for sure, no matter how much the logical side of your brain screamed at you, your body was yearning for Atsumu right at this moment.

There was no doubt that your longtime lover was a near-expert when it came to your body. Any of your qualms would be easily pushed aside as you silently gave into his scandalous touches. And despite the latent fear of being caught by bystanders outside of the steamy vehicle, it was getting harder and harder to care.

The two of you had just left dinner with the rest of the old Inarizaki team. Having reunited after all these years, many of the others were catching-up over the lost time. A couple of them you had seen intermittently throughout the blank period - Suna and Aran stayed on the professional scene and you saw Osamu basically every other day.

As a professional athlete, Atsumu was always busy. Playing volleyball full-time was his dream and while he was proud to stand on the national stage, there were some drawbacks that the both of you had long conceded to. Often, he would be out traveling somewhere with the team, whether to stadiums in the far reaches of the country or dealing with PR that came with being a renowned celebrity.

You texted and called during your times apart, but there was nothing that could replace actually being there with someone. The physical affection that you missed from your lover could never be replaced with your own touches. 

But as long as Atsumu returned back to you, that was enough to fill your heart whole.

And so you often hung around your own friends and even Osamu. He often teased you were his future sister-in-law, despite nothing being set in stone and not a single rock on your finger. You would reason that Atsumu was a handsome athlete on the world stage meeting plenty of people, but even Osamu had adamantly stated that you alone were his fated future sister.

If only the asshole was as thoughtful around his brother as he was around you.

Osamu was probably trying to push Atsumu’s buttons on purpose, but now you were the unwilling collateral damage.

It started simply, about the new dress you bought in anticipation of Atsumu returning home. You ate lunch with the onigiri twin and were walking together when you passed a boutique with a simple, red dress that flirted high above your knees in the display. You thought about getting it and, with nothing to do for the rest of the day, Osamu hung out with you as you tried it on.

It was all coincidental and you thought nothing of it as Osamu brought it up at the dinner table as you were wearing it now. But when the twin complimented your sense of style, the team seemed to egg you on.

“Ya look so nice today, (L/N)!” Ginjima added.

“Out of all of us, (L/N) has always had the most style.” Suna snidely commented as he gestured to the twins with his chin.

“(L/N)-chan has always been beautiful.” Kosaku complimented, earning a small nod in agreement from Kita.

You glanced at Atsumu in the corner of your eye. And while the smile on his face spelled peace, you knew from his hardened eyes that he was not happy.

It was one thing to accept the compliments of the others, but you were admittedly openly basking in their undivided attention. If he were in a more steady head-space, Atsumu would have frowned or pouted or even took action to put the others in the place. But you hadn’t really seen each other in weeks and he was looking forward to spending individual time with you.

Of course, nothing went his way and instead of the hot night he was looking forward to, instead you ushered him out of your shared apartment to this reunion dinner. 

Osamu sat on your other side while Atsumu had to sit there and listen to the two of you chat like you were the ones dating. It was a stupid thought filled with only jealousy, but it only fostered the small pit in his stomach that seemed to grow in recent times.

Atsumu knew that the love you shared between each other was true, but it silently broke his heart every time he had to say goodbye to you knowing that the next time he would see you would be in days or maybe even weeks. You had complained a few times, but you did everything the two of you could to keep your bond. Video chats and texts were one thing, but seeing you constantly on his brother’s social media was another.

Lunches, hang-outs - what else was Atsumu missing?

And seeing the two of you openly talk about it now? Right to his face?

Atsumu wanted to claim where you sat.

And that predatory stare, that possessive claim Atsumu held over you all night as he draped an arm across the back of your chair, came to fruition the moment you two were alone. 

You waved goodbye to the rest, Osamu even shooting you a smirk at what he knew his twin was eager to do. A part of you was worried about your body for the next few hours, but when Atsumu tightly squeezed the side of your hip, you knew it would be worth it.

And so he near dragged you two where you parked earlier, you were unceremoniously tossed in the back of the car, Atsumu locking the door behind him as he clamored in. His lips were on you instantly and if not for the tinted windows, you would have pushed him off.

He ravaged you with the intensity of a man starved, sucking at your neck and making his way down your body. There was no hesitation on his end, his hands eagerly pushing your shirt and bra over your breasts. The moment you felt the chill on your skin, he latched onto an already beaded nipple.

“I’ll make sure ya only remember my name by the end of tonight.” He whispered against your skin possessively.

Atsumu maneuvered you around the back seats, pushing away clothing as your skirt bunched up around your hips. Your underwear was thrown away, somewhere on the floor of the car. There were surely red splotches in his wake, kissing at your chest before making his way further down. He dipped a playful tongue in your belly button as he went, surprising you into sitting upright. 

He lifted you by the hips, athletic strength more than enough to handle you. You had no firm grasp on the cushions, hand moving to one of the head-rests but having no way to move without having to ask the setter to do so. Atsumu held you completely in his grasp, back arched as his lips trailed down to your awaiting cunt.

“Who do you belong to?”

Atsumu watched as you squirmed uncomfortably. It was obvious you wanted more pressure, more anything, but he was conducting you to the beat of his drum today. He sucked at your clit and watched you cry-out his name in response, near begging him for more. 

There was no denying it at this point, evidence of your want all over his face. Atsumu shoved two fingers, to the knuckles, inside you. You threw your head back at the movement, but the setter made no effort to actually move inside you. He pumped once, twice, before pulling out of you entirely.

“Please.”

Atsumu playfully scoffed and you felt the vibration against your skin. You pushed your hips up in response, which only made him back off more. 

The teasing asshole.

“I asked ya a question.”

“It’s only ever been you!” You replied, almost sobbing as you looked down at Atsumu, that infamous smirk still on his face from earlier.

“Oh? Why don’t ya prove it?” Atsumu stated, placing you back down on the seat. That second of peace was followed by the setter gripping your neck and pulling you to him, not enough to make you panic, but more than enough to make you aware of the possessive hold.

Atsumu was up on his knees while you were eye level with what he was surely going to have you full with in a second.

“Do I have to do everythin’ myself?” He asked, a hint of impatience in his teasing words.

His hands were still around your throat as you reached for his belt, unclasping and then bringing down his pants. It stayed bunched around his knees and all that was left in front of you were his boxers.

“Feelin’ meek or somethin’ today?” Atsumu spit-out, “Why don’tcha put yer mouth to good use?”

He was being such an asshole and you loved every second of it.

Not that would admit it to the already big-headed setter.

You slowly peeled down the cloth, his awaiting cock springing up against his stomach as you went. Large and veiny and all yours, you admired it for a quick second before licking from the base to the tip. Atsumu groaned as his hold went from your neck to your hair, harshly carding itself in your locks.

Your playful attempts at licking his dick met an impatient scoff from the setter, until he finally gripped his dick and angled it to your mouth. While Atsumu knew your body well at this point, the second could be said about you to him. You sucked eagerly at the head, the vibration going straight to his groin as Atsumu moaned heavenward.

“Oh, playin’ dirty?” He asked, between huffs. “Yer gonna get it in a bit, don’t worry.”

A part of you was overly eager for his promise, almost making you want to act out on purpose if only to get a harder sentence later. But when Atsumu pulled at your hair again, you wanted to make him feel real good. After all, this was the first time you had his dick down your throat in weeks, you wanted to taste him fully.

You sucked at his dick eagerly, your hands going to the space your mouth had not yet reached. Slowly picking up the pace, you watched Atsumu go from a hard stare on you to getting lost in the euphoria of your greedy mouth.

And so you hollowed your cheeks, taking him in all the way to the base as his cock hit the back of your throat. You breathed in through your nose calmly, steadying your breath as you looked up at Atsumu. His eyes were fluttering to the back of his head, leaning backwards slightly as only a hand on the seat held him upright.

There was barely any room to move your tongue, but you did your best to feel against the veiny underside of the setter. His groans only got louder and louder, the grip in your hair incredibly painful as he continued to spiral under your pleasure.

It was only a slight surprise when Atsumu pushed you off. Flipping you over the seats, Atsumu leaned down to whisper against your ear, “Only ‘cause ya’ve been good so far”

You steadied one arm and leg on the cushion beneath you for you while the others stretched to the floor to keep you upright. Stomach against the car seats, you were more than ready for this moment. Atsumu wasted no time angling himself with your heat, immediately sheathing himself to the base the moment he got his bearings.

The car was filled with grotesque, wet sounds as his hips met your own. Atsumu barely gave you any time to adjust, thrusting up into you with quick, deep motions. Your own hand gripped the cushion firmly, nails almost digging into the fabric as if it would give you physical reprieve against his strong thrusts.

“Fuck.” you moaned despite yourself.

You were still in the car, plenty of opportunities for anyone to catch you two.

Not that you really cared anymore.

“Only I know what you like,” Atsumu murmured against your skin, his lips latching to the side of your neck. “Only I know how tight this pretty pussy is.”

When you didn’t respond immediately, the setter slowed down, almost taunting you that you were nothing but an eager slave for his dick. You groaned at his teasing, trying to move your hips back to him, but a steady hand on your waist kept you in place.

“Or am I wrong?” He asked against your skin, a hand trailing up your spine.

“Only you.” you groaned back, reaffirming his words.

It was not that Atsumu was not usually as dominant as this, because usually he was like this. But it usually came with some type of warning or reasoning. Last time it was from hanging around beefy boi Bokuto too much and it seemed now his twin was the new target. 

No matter, you secretly loved dominant Atsumu.

“And who’s the only one who will see ya like this?” he asked, almost with an innocent twinge as his hand snaked around the back of your neck.

“You!” You out-cried in between thrusts, head angling upward as you tried your best to get even closer to him.

“Say my name.”

“Fuck me harder, Atsumu! Please!” you whimpered, losing all your faculties.

“There’s my girl,” he praised before sucking another spot on your shoulder. 

You could almost feel the smirk of his lips on your skin.

At least you were getting what you wanted. And as Atsumu picked up back to his rigorous pace, you almost thanked the volleyball god’s for finally getting the much needed friction. The sounds of wet slapping and parallel groans promulgated the car, pedestrians outside innocent to the steamy happenings in Atsumu’s car.

“Fuck!” you screamed.

“That’s it.” Atsumu teased, “Let it out, princess.”

His pace was fast and hard, uncaring of the world around you as Atsumu lost himself in your tight hole. From him to be this brutal, you wondered if Atsumu had been envisioning you like this the entire meal. And now you were going to know exactly how much Atsumu had yearned for you. 

His fingers curled tightly around your hips, bringing you back to meet his every thrust. There was barely anything you could do against his onslaught, gripping the seats around you as if to give you any physical reprieve.

Your brain was focused on nothing but Atsumu, not even realizing that there was suddenly another sound in the car. The heat of the euphoria covered over the sounds of something vibrating somewhere in the car hadn’t even registered in your brain. 

But you surely did not miss the fact that one of Atsumu’s bruising hands had left your hips. And instead, that free hand began to feel around on the floor for the lost item.

“Ay.” Atsumu greeted into his phone, “Somethin’ wrong, ‘Samu?”

You shot a look over your shoulder, confused and wondering why on god’s earth was he saying his twin’s name at this moment. It was only when you saw his phone that you blanched, instantly trying to pull away from the setter. But Atsumu had you pinned, not stopping in his pace as he continued on the phone.

“Ah, (F/N) forgot ‘er phone?” You wanted to wipe the smirk off the setters face, but your hands were occupied in either keeping you help up or covering your mouth from letting out a peep. 

This was Osamu of all people! You saw him on a daily basis and if you were caught on the phone for this you would hardly be able to look him in the eye anymore.

Atsumu took one look at your desperate face and decided to make the most of it.

“Lemme put ‘er on the phone for ya.”

The look of realization must have been obvious on your face, for Atsumu’s smirk only grew as he stared back into your eyes.

Atsumu picked up the hand that was holding you upright on the seat and instead put the phone there. You tried to make a fist instead, a silent warning for if he continued this stupid act, but the setter just ground his hips against yours. You stumbled over a moan and Atsumu shot you a conspiratory look, pressing a finger to his lips to signal you to be quiet. 

“Hey, Osamu?” You attempted to greet in your usually cheerful tone.

“Hey, (F/N).” His voice sounded through the receiver, making you realize that this was well and truly happening.

“I forgot something at the restaurant?” You asked straight to the point, trying to keep your voice even as Atsumu kissed down the valley of your spine. His pace was still slow, but his small caresses were keeping you actively aware.

“Yea, I have yer phone with me since ya left early.” Osamu stated, his voice casual as you heard his loud dishwasher in the background, signalling he was already home.

“Ah, thank you! I can pick-it up next time I see YOU!” You stuttered over the last word, Atsumu pulling out completely just to fill you to the brim in one thrust.

Atsumu’s quick thrusting resumed from earlier and there was little you could do to hold in a small moan this time. Thankfully, Osamu on the other end had yet to catch onto what was truly happening, since he was recounting your next lunch a couple days from now.

“Is that safe? Goin’ a few days without yer phone?” Osamu asked.

“I - maybe?” you panted in response, not even sure what the question was.

Osamu paused, silence reining for a few seconds, enough to make you panic that he had caught on before he asked. “Ya know both ‘Tsumu and I would kill for ya if somethin’ happened cause ya didn’t have yer phone. Let’s try to stop that from happenin’ before.”

Was what he did say and also what you did not hear.

Instead, you felt your hips rocking back to meet Atsumu as he continued thrusting upward into you. One of his hands around your waist followed the arm holding the phone, pushing it back up to your ear as if to remind you of the painful phone call you were on. His other hand went around your waist, traveling to your clit between and rolling it between his fingers. 

This time, there was little you could do to muffle your surprised gasp.

“Whatever, (F/N). I know you can defend yourself, but this is not somethin’ you should fight.”

That wording was odd, you thought in your mind briefly. But any additional thoughts were slammed away with Atsumu’s persistent thrusts.

“I know,” you settled on replying back between pants before stuffing your face back into the car seat.

You expect some type of response back, only continuing to push against Atsumu as the hard slap of skin filled the car. You hadn’t even realized how long Osamu was silent for, before his voice nearly pierced your skin.

“Don’t tell me yer getting dicked down right now.”

Your head shot up immediately, your grasp on the phone tightening as both you and Atsumu heard Osamu hit the nail right on the head with his observation.

There was already an excuse on the tip of your tongue when Atsumu pulled out entirely again before sheathing himself in your dripping cunt. You moaned loudly at the combination of being filled and what his fingers were doing to your lower pearl. There was nothing you could say to get you out of that one.

To your surprise, Atsumu grabbed the phone this time. “Listenin’ to that? She’s mine on every fuckin’ level.”

You heard Osamu laugh through the receiver, before he continued talking. What it was about? You had no fucking clue, the sound just a small murmur in comparison to the sounds of your bodies meeting.

“I hate you so much,” You moaned back, Atsumu still on the phone with his twin.

“Oh? Are you going to cum?” He teased you before turning to the phone, “Ight, talk to ya later.”

How the fuck the both of them could be so casual about this, you didn’t want to know.

Throwing the phone somewhere else on the floor, Atsumu lifted your knee and brought it up to his shoulder. You had very little control in this situation, grasping onto cushions simply to keep from falling. But Atsumu had full control, maintaining his almost impossible rhythm in this deeper position.

“Ahhh, stop.” You weakly protested, “Atsumu, you’re gonna make me…”

“I know exactly what’s going to happen,” he countered.

The speed of his fucking, coupled with the relentless toying of your clit, pushed you over the edge. You came with a near-scream, angling your back as your eyes rolled heavenward. Near simultaneously, you felt Atsumu unload himself within you, holding his hips against yours to make sure you received every single drop.

It was only when your shared essence dripped down to the seat that you realized you hadn’t used a condom. And while you would had usually sighed at the clean-up, especially in a public space like this, Atsumu was already at your back, kissing along your spine.

“Thanks for the creampie, asshole.” you groaned, dropping your head onto the car seat.

“Ya know ya love it, princess.” Atsumu countered, leaning over you as he flipped you onto your back, placing light kisses against the nape of your neck. 

You pushed his face away when you fully realized what just happened, “Fuck, Osamu really heard that.”

“Good, now he knows who you belonged to.” Atsumu stated with a level-expression.

“Everyone knows I’m yours, you asshole.”

“It’s still good to send out reminders.” Atsumu replied, “Especially with the way everyone was openly leering at you today.”

“Fuck, you planned to do this, didn’t you?” you asked, not remembering the last time you ever lost your phone. You swore it was in your bag before you left, even taking a selfie with the old crew before.

But Atsumu just smirked and continued to place butterfly kisses on your skin, not dignifying your question with an actual verbal response was enough of an answer.

“Yer beautiful tits, yer legs… these pouty lips.” Atsumu murmured against your skin between pecks, “All mine. Right?”

Something in his voice just screamed at you that he wanted a real answer. His brown eyes bore into your own, an oddly serious expression for having teased you the pats half-hour. Was he jealous of Osamu? Of how much time you spent together? That was nonsense, he was going to be your future family and your heart only beat for Atsumu.

“I’m all yours.” You answered, putting a hand beneath his chin and lifting it to you. He met you halfway, pulling you into another bruising kiss. 

One of his hands went back around your waist to pull you close to him, your skin felt lighting aflame for the second time as it touched. You felt Atsumu harden within you again, athletic stamina already preparing him for another round it seemed.

“I love you, Atsumu.”

“I love you, too.”

✧   Masterlist

[pockyxx]

“ seijoh 3rd years as boyfriends ”

oikawa toru x reader, iwaizumi hajime x reader, matsukawa issei x reader and hanamaki takahiro x reader

genre: fluff

oikawa

would be the type of boyfriend to send you those lovey dovey good morning texts 

even if they were cheesy as hell you’d know they were sincere 

he’d always be there to reassure you when you felt insecure 

this includes when you’re insecure about all his fan girls constantly giving him attention 

tight hugs 

this boy may be scrawny but I know he’d squeeze the life outa you

you’d bully him along with iwa-chan 

he’d text you at ungodly hours with new alien conspiracy theories 

would take you to instagram-able places for dates 

definitely would initiate the cuddles 

would force you to wear his jersey on game days 

his love language is words of affirmation 100% and will always remind you how much he loves you

“Hurry up shittykawa, you were suppose to be warming up five minutes ago!” Iwaizumi scolded him in the hallway of the recreational center that the volleyball tournament was being held at.  Oikawa stuck his tongue out at his childhood best friend. 

“So mean iwa-chan, can’t you see I’m with n/n-chan.” He called you by the nickname only he called you. Your cheeks begin to heat up as Iwaizumi had caught you mid kiss. The ace rolled his eyes and went back to join the rest of the team. 

“Where were we? Oh right, my good luck kisses!” He snickered, waiting for you to get up on your tiptoes to plant a handful of kisses on his lips. 

“You heard him shittykawa, you’re game is starting soon!” You denied him, dragging him towards the court he was to be playing on. 

“Not you too!” He whined in an over dramatic fashion yet he couldn’t help but think how cute you looked dragging him, his hoodie draping over your figure perfectly. 

iwaizumi

tries to act tough and manly but is really a big ole baby 

wouldn’t be much for pda except for the occasional hand holding and waist grabbing 

in private tho... this man would cling onto you like no tomorrow

loves when you touch/ play with his hair--its softer than it looks 

forces you to watch his godzilla movies but in return you can make him watch whatever you want

his love language is definitely physical touch 

he loves idle touches, just feeling your skin against his 

walks you home and waits for you to step into your house before leaving 

great big bears hugs, no one can tell me other wise 

hits the ball extra hard when he knows you’re watching 

always wants to know about how your day’s been 

You cuddled up to your boyfriend’s side, as his eyes are glued to the screen; as if someone was going to kill him if he looked away. Yawning slightly you lay your head in his lap as you grab his hand to play with his fingers. 

You’d lost interest in the plot, finding Hajime’s reactions much more enjoyable. Watching his expressions change from excited to sad to anxious was enough to make you laugh. 

“What’s so funny babe?” He looked down at you, finally taking his eyes off the movie. You looked up at him as his larger hand was still in yours. 

“You’re really cute Hajime. Did you know that?” You giggled, making his face blush a deep shade of red before he snapped his head away from your gaze.

You sat up, forcing him to lock eyes with you, laughing again at the sight of such a macho man being so flustered just by words. 

“Don’t act like it’s a bad thing.” You leaned forward and kissed him softly on his lips, “you’re a softy deep down.”

Iwaizumi’s heart went into overload. He brought you into his arms, in a bone-crushing and laid back down on the couch to finish the movie.

matsukawa

definition of dating your best friend 

enjoys listening to you talk about your day 

would send you really funny memes in the middle of class just to see you get red as you try to hold into your laughter 

your laughter is like music to his ears 

loves pda, as long as you’re okay with it 

would take you to mcdonalds anytime of the day, just say the words 

besides memes and reaction pics, his camera roll would be filled with stupid pictures of you 

surprisingly good at cuddling 

place things high out of your reach just so you can ask him to get it down for you 

silly pet names; like that are overly absurd

he would get involved with your interests/ hobbies or a sport you play  

Class was just so boring, especially with your teacher being a rude old fart. You sat near the front and as your sensei wrote something down on the chalkboard you looked behind to catch a glance at your boyfriend, Issei. 

He was looking at his phone as per usual, probably messaging his friend Makki in the class next to you. His dark eyebrows had been raised, his lips tugging into a half smile and you could tell he was up to something. 

On your desk, your phone buzzed and you could only attribute it to your boyfriend sending you a message. Of course you were right and went to check it out. 

matt-sunshine: *attachment one photo* this could be us but you playin 

You looked back at him hesitantly but Issei had gone back to paying attention to the lecture. Biting your lips, you opened the picture your boyfriend had sent and you then proceeded to pray that you’d be able to keep your mouth shut. 

The picture in question had been two feet mimicking holding hands, except it was toes. For some reason that picture with what Issei had captioned it had sent you over the top. You let a loud, ugly laugh slip past your lips.

As you excepted, your teacher had issued you three days of after school detention for that. You glarred at your boyfriend, upset with him getting you in trouble but it was soon forgiven after he offered to take you out to eat after your detention. 

hanamaki

similar to mattsun: he’d be your best friend and lover 

when you’re feeling down he’ll do/ say funny thing to make you feel better 

you dye each other's hair 

lots of teasing on both ends 

this boy is always hyping you up no matter the occasion 

is mutual to pda, it all depends on how you feel about it 

loves to kiss all your ticklish spots just to see you giggle 

convos with him would be like you saying something funny, then makki following it up with something even more funny and so forth until you’re both about to pee your pants 

no matter what’s happening, he’s got a meme for it

religiously quotes the ‘ily bitchhh, and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitchhh’ vine when talking to you 

You sat in Takahiro’s room, waiting for him to come back up with snacks for your video game session, something you and him took very seriously. You leaned back in the bean bag, thinking about what the loser’s punishment would be and right as an idea popped into your head, your boyfriend walked in. 

He placed the candies, chips and sodas on the small coffee table and passed you the Wii remote. 

“So my precious booger,” cue the disgusting nickname he swore on his grandfather’s grave was suppose to be endearing, “what will the looser have to do this time?” Takahiro flopped down next to you. 

Pressing your lips together, cautiously bringing up what you had in mind.  “Loser has to dye their hair hmm... green!” he laughed and agreed to the idea. 

The two of your then wiped off the cutesy faces before starting the game: Mario Kart. You looked at him, a competitive glaze coating his eyes. You knew for sure you didn’t want to loose. 

After a grueling final race, the winners slides popped up and to your surpirse you were the winner. 

Makki threw his control in disbelief, “it’s rigged, I swear!” He huffed, crossing his arms but you only got up in his face, teasing him with your victory. 

“Now you’re going to be the booger-head, Hiro!” He rolled his eyes, gentally hitting your face with a pillow before standing up. 

“Where are you going?” You wondered, drinking some of the soda he’d offered you earlier. 

“That hair dye won’t buy itself.” 

[weasleyslag]

me and your girlfriend (fred weasley x f! reader)

summary: You're tired of waiting around for Fred to get his act together while he parades other girls around you, so you try to move on. Fred is unreasonably upset by this and tries his darndest to scare your new boyfriend off.

wc: 3063

warning(s): 18+ (not smut, but several mentions of sex), jealously, lowkey toxic relationship (don’t worry, it mostly gets resolved in the end)

a/n: this is my first HP fic I’ve written since I was like 8 years old so I am so sorry if you stumble upon this. Also, I noticed that most of the writing perspective is third person using y/n but the last fandom I wrote for, almost everyone wrote in second person, so I’m in the habit now. I’ll try to change that in the future.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30625835

“George, Georgie!!!” You called as you ran into the Gryffindor boys’ bedroom.

“Yeah?” George responded, looking up from his trunk of clothes.

“You will never guess what happened earlier!”

“Moody’s coffee had a hair growth potion in it. That was me.” He told you smugly.

You rolled your eyes. “Not that. That wasn’t nearly your best prank. You’ve been slacking, Weasley.” You slapped your friend on the back.

“Fred’s been distracted. He’s been with a new girl named… hmm what was it… Natalie? Natalia? It’s hard to keep track.” George explained, not trying too hard to disguise his dismay in his brother for slacking when it came to pranks.

“I can’t believe there’s another one. He just met someone else last week. And now there’s her too…” Your words trailed off. You really didn’t want to sound jealous but it was hard not to. George knew your feelings for Fred, Fred knew, Hell, Natalie (or Natalia) probably knew. It wasn’t really a secret.

George, wanting to relieve your discomfort, tried changing the subject. “So what was it that I can’t believe?”

“Lloyd Baker asked me out! He picked me flowers and everything.”

George let out a whistle. “Heard he’s a catch within the Ravenclaw house. He suits you. Kind and smart and-“

“And not Fred.” You finished your friend’s sentence for him.

“That’s not what I was going to say but yeah. I know you care about him but he’s being an ass to you. I think it’s good for you to explore your options. Don’t tell him I said that, though. Don’t fancy getting my ass beat.” George patted you on the shoulder.

You nodded. “I just hope I can get over Fred so this relationship can be healthy. Lloyd is great but I’m not even sure if I like him. I don’t really have eyes for anyone but Fred. You know that.”

“Fake it until you make it.” George shrugged.

George may not have had a problem with you being semi-fake in your new relationship but you sure did. Lloyd was a nice guy and you didn’t want to hurt him in an attempt to get over Fred. But you’d already agreed to go out so you supposed you’d take it as you went.

The next week went by like a fairytale. Lloyd walked you to every class, brought you sweets when you were craving them, and listened attentively to every word you said. You were starting to think that this was actually going to work out.

Spending all this time with your new boyfriend meant that you weren’t seeing your friends very often. You weren’t planning on that becoming commonplace, but you thought it wasn’t that weird to spend most of your time with your boyfriend considering this was all so new. You still saw your friends at least a couple of times a day, talking to Lee, Angelina, or George in passing. You saw very little of Fred, which was a little odd. The two times you saw him over the course of the week, however, he winked when he caught your eye before quickly scurrying off. You were convinced that Fred was trying to make this as hard on you as possible.

It was the weekend and you had decided it was time for your friends to officially meet your boyfriend. You weren’t really worried about what Lee, Angelina, Alicia, or George would think. The tall, kind faced boy was a perfect match for you, at least on paper. You were a little scared to think what Fred might do, though. Although to your understanding, he was bringing Nadine (you had been wrong about her name this whole time) to this Hogsmeade's meetup so he didn’t have any right to step out of line when he met Lloyd.

You squeezed Lloyd’s hand before walking into The Three Broomsticks.

“You okay?” You asked him.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He looked at you quizzically.

Oh, ok. He wasn’t nervous at all. So you were the only one that’s heartbeat was out of control. You weren’t the one that should be nervous, but for some reason you still were. Well, you knew the reason. Your stupid bastard best friend Fred Weasley.

You two stepped through the doors of the establishment. “I need to go to the bathroom real quick before we get started. You’ll be alright, yeah?” You looked up at your boyfriend, searching for any sign of unease.

“Yeah. I’ll just look around and when you come back you can introduce me to your friends.” He flashed you a dazzling smile and you skipped off to the bathroom. Little did you know, that was a huge mistake.

Fred had not taken his eyes off of you since you had walked in. Everyone else at the table felt uncomfortable, knowing from Fred’s scowl that he was about to make a scene. Nadine tried desperately to try to get her date’s attention, but he just waved her off.

“In a minute, love.” He faltered at the term of endearment. It felt forced.

He didn’t even know why he had invited Nadine to The Three Broomsticks. He had been seeing red ever since George had first informed him that you were seeing Lloyd. The Gryffindor boys would have been deaf to not hear the shouting match that occurred in the boys’ bedroom the night that he had been told. Fred was mad that George encouraged you to date Lloyd and George was mad that Fred had been such a dick to you lately, parading girls around like you two didn’t have a “thing”. He guessed that he had invited Nadine along today in an attempt to one up you and make you jealous but he knew that wouldn’t work anymore. You were beyond that point. He would just have to have a word with Lloyd to let him know exactly where Fred stood.

Fred walked over to Lloyd. When Lloyd noticed him, he gave him a warm smile, the likes of which Fred did not reciprocate.

“Fred Weasley. Can’t believe we’ve never met. I mean you must be real important to my bug, but I can’t say I’ve ever even heard her talk about you.” Fred told the boy coldly.

Lloyd shifted back and forth uncomfortably “Your what?”

“My bug. A term of endearment. You wouldn’t understand.”

“It’s cool that you and her are so close, I guess.” Lloyd didn’t know what else to say.

Fred chuckled at Lloyd’s visible uncomfortableness, not saying anything else for a moment before getting a wickedly awful yet brilliant (in his mind) idea. An idea to make sure Lloyd got the message that you were meant to be Fred’s, not some heartthrob Ravenclaw prat’s.

“Say Lloyd, did you know that my dad works for the Ministry? He works in proximity to Muggle culture. So I know all about Muggles.”

“Okay…” Lloyd responded, unsure of where Fred was going with this.

“Wanna know my favorite Muggle song at the moment?”

Lloyd nodded, desperate to ease the tension.

“It’s called Slumber Party by some girl named Ashnikko. My favorite lyrics are,” Fred accentuated what he said next, not keeping a melodious tune but rather just speaking as if he was informing Lloyd of something, “Me and your girlfriend playin' dress up at my house. I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch.” He gave a sickly smile when he finished what he was saying.

It didn’t take a genius to understand what Fred was getting at. Lloyd immediately understood. Why the Hell would you start dating him when you were so clearly involved with Fred?!? Lloyd didn’t know quite what to say.

“I- what?”

“Thought Ravenclaw’s were supposed to be smart,” Fred snorted. “One word from me and she’ll be leaving you in the dust. Trust me, mate.” Fred’s eyes grew huge as he heard you exiting the restroom and he ran over to where he had been sitting before and put his arm around Nadine like nothing had happened. Everyone at the table had heard the discussion and looked at Fred in shock, besides George who glared at him with disgust.

“Okay I’m back!” You grabbed Lloyd’s arm and were surprised when he pulled away from you a bit.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him.

“Nothing.” Lloyd lied straight through his teeth.

“Okay…” You replied, uneasy. Nevertheless, you guided him over to the table where your friends were seated.

“Lloyd these are my friends. Angelina, my best girl friend. The Gryffindor team captain and the best Chaser I’ve ever met.” Angelina beamed at the words. “Lee, he’s annoying but he’s hopelessly in love with me so he gets to stay.” Lee choked on his drink before flicking you off. “Alicia, best giver of advice in the universe.” Alicia gave a small smile and a wave at Lloyd. “This is Nadine, I don’t know her very well but she’s a very sweet girl.” Nadine nodded and thanked you for your kind words. “And my best friends since first year, Fred and George.”

“The very best!” Fred beamed and you smiled at him. You were glad he was taking this so well. Maybe it was for the best that you both moved on, not that you were too sure if he had ever properly fancied you in the first place.

“I wish you could meet Oliver but he’s long gone now. We’re still super tight, though.”

“Yep, she’s super tight… with Oliver” Fred stared directly at Lloyd, who was looking at him, mortified.

The crude joke, however, went straight over your head and you just smiled at Fred. You couldn’t help the butterflies you felt in your stomach when you looked at him but you still tried to push them aside. You were blissfully unaware of the air of discomfort around the table. Fred and you practically ignored the others for two hours while you talked about anything and everything under the sun.

“I think it’s time for us to go.” Lloyd suddenly announced, pulling you two out of a Quidditch discussion.

“Aww really? Already?” You pouted at Lloyd but he just looked at you stonefaced. You had no idea what you were thinking but it couldn’t be good.

“Don’t worry, we can continue this discussion tonight, bug!” Fred told you, winking. You winked back at him playfully, not even noticing that Lloyd had let go of your hand entirely and Nadine had removed Fred’s arm from her shoulders.

“Ok, see you in the common room then!”

“The common room. Sure.” Fred said sarcastically. You found yourself confused, not understanding what he meant. But the words had hit exactly who they were meant for.

Lloyd practically dragged you outside and began walking swiftly back towards Hogwarts. You kept asking him what was wrong but he wouldn’t answer you. He speed walked all the way back to the castle, with you trying your best to keep up with him. Once you reached the gardens, he finally let everything he had been feeling go.

“Why are you going out with me when you’re so obviously with Fred?” he huffed.

“I’m not. Fred’s with Nadine.” You told him, very puzzled. But deep down, you still felt caught. Maybe he had caught on that you had feelings for Fred, even though those feelings were unreciprocated, or at least if there were feelings on Fred’s part, he wasn’t taking it very seriously.

“Yeah, right. That’s not what Fred said.”

“What are you talking about? Fred didn’t say anything to you.”

“Yes he did. While you were in the bathroom. He basically said that you two had a wild sex life and if he asked you to, you’d immediately drop me. And and-“ Lloyd ran out of things to say but he continued huffing and puffing.

“I have never slept with Fred.” You scoffed, ignoring the last part of Lloyd’s sentiment because you knew it was true.

“So he’s never eaten you out? Because he said that. Or at least strongly indicated it. And his comment about you being tight...” Lloyd’s eyes pleaded for you to tell the truth.

“No! I’ve never done that with anyone, promise. I haven’t done anything with him besides kiss him.” You were telling the truth, but Lloyd seemed dismayed that you had even kissed the boy before.

“Why’d you kiss him? Doesn’t seem like something that people who are just friends do.”

“I don’t know. I was just bummed out that I had never kissed anyone before. It wasn’t a big deal. And that was forever ago.”

Lloyd seemed slightly put at ease by that sentiment.

“So you haven’t kissed him in a really long time, then? And he’s just being an ass for no reason?”

“Being an ass for no reason? Yes. And I’ll talk to him about it. He’s totally crossed a line. I can’t just not be friends with him but he can’t say shit like that. But uh, the years ago thing, that was just the first time we kissed. Uhhh it’s been more than once.” You faltered, looking down at your shoes.

“So when was the last time?” Lloyd demanded.

“When did you ask me out?”

“Last Friday.”

“Errr that Thursday night then. But I haven’t done it since. I would never cheat.” You said honestly.

“Seriously? Look, you’re a nice girl and all but you clearly have an unresolved relationship with your friend and it’s just not healthy for me or you,” And so it went. You knew by his words that he was breaking up with you. You knew he was right but you were still royally pissed at Fred for ruining everything. “I could tell you’re in love with him just by the way you spoke to him today. And he-well he certainly feels something for you.”

“A possessive bugger, he is.” You agreed, trying to remain as lighthearted as you could while you fought back tears. You should just face it, you were never going to get over Fred Weasley.

“I’m sorry. I really am. But this is all too much of a mess for me. I’m sure you understand. I umm,,, I wish the best for you.” Lloyd said awkwardly before disappearing into the castle. And just like that, your first proper (albeit short) relationship had ended.

You ran to the Gryffindor girls’ bedroom to find Angelina, tears streaming down your face (the tears not so much because of being broke up with but because of the fact that apparently Fred thought it was appropriate to dictate your dating life while he could screw the whole school). Of course, Angelina wasn’t there. She was probably still at Hogsmeade. You needed to talk to somebody. You could probably confide in Hermione if you really needed to but she was in a fight with Ron and you didn’t want to add any more bad energy to her life at the moment. And Ginny, well you were afraid she might slaughter Fred.

Hoping that George had happened to walk back before the others, you called into the Gryffindor boys’ room.

“George? Are you in there?” You sniffled.

“Come in, love.” Your heart sank. It was Fred, not George.

“I don’t want to speak to you right now.” You told him coldly, walking into the room anyway.

“So you heard about my little stunt then?” He chuckled before looking over at your tear stained face. “No, bug, come here.” He grabbed you into a hug and you immediately started crying harder and pushing against him. He was stronger than you and wasn’t letting you go, however.

“I hate you, I really do. I know you’re going to say I don’t mean that but I do.” You cried, hiccupping at the end.

“But you don’t mean it. I’m sorry.” He kissed your forehead.

“Don’t do that, damn it!” You rubbed your hand over your forehead in an attempt to undo the action. “Why did you say all that to Lloyd today?”

“I was jealous.” He admitted.

“And you don’t think I’m jealous of Nadine?” You asked angrily. What was with Fred and his double standards?

“Don’t worry about that. I broke it off with her. She wasn’t too happy with me, anyway. I shouldn’t have even brought her today. I was just trying to one up you. But it just hurt everyone involved.”

“You breaking up with her doesn’t make everything better. It definitely doesn’t mean we’re going to go back to the way we were before.” You tried to break away from him again and this time you were successful.

“I don’t want things to be the way they were before.” Fred said quietly. You weren’t even sure you heard him right.

“What?” You asked, feeling a jab at your heart. You had just said that it wasn’t going to be like that anymore but hearing that he didn’t even want you anymore hurt profusely.

“I want it to be more than that. I know it’s gonna take a while to get there. I’ve really shown my ass.” He hung his head low.

“And not in a good way.” You giggled.

“See, that’s my girl!” He smiled.

“Don’t think that gets you out of hot water, Weasley.”

“‘Course not. I’ve been a proper idiot. But I’ll make it up to you over time.” Maybe against your better judgment, you let him kiss you. “I was scared for some reason.” He continued.

“Scared?”

“Yeah. Felt suffocated. I don’t want to end up just like my parents. Meeting someone so young and never experiencing anything else and getting a boring old job and doing that for the rest of my life. But I was focused on the wrong stuff. I can make my life different in so many different ways than going through a fuckboy phase. I really care about you, you know? And I want to be with you.”

“We’ll figure this out. Besides, I hate seeing you be so heavy with stuff. Where’s the silly boy I love?”

“You love?” Fred cocked an eyebrow and smiled wide.

“Oh come on, it’s just a phrase.”

“I think you’re psychologically trying to tell yourself that you love me.” He squeezed you and kissed your cheek. “Can’t wait to be with you good and proper.”

“One rule: don’t tell everyone about our sex life. We don’t even have one yet and you’re already telling people about it.”

“Noted.”

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 13)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Billy Russo x Reader Word Count: 2663 Warnings: fluff, light angst, brief mention of smut

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: I’m still sorry... or am I? 😂

PART 12 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

Sunlight filters in through the part of the window not blocked by opaque curtains, the golden glow reaches Billy’s eyes making him throw an arm up to block out the brightness. He’s careful of his movements, not to disturb you as you sleep against him.

He had a good time last night bowling and meeting all your friends but when you accepted his offer to come back to his place that was when the real fun began. In the comfort of his apartment you sat curled against him on his couch, feeling warmth spread through your body from the amber colored drink in your hand, though Billy was more intoxicating.

You quickly found your way into his bed, tangled together as your hands and lips explored every part of each other until you reached soaring heights of passion and pleasure. Billy was an incredible lover and you hadn’t thought that simply because he had broken your dry spell. He knew how to please and did so generously. You didn’t intend on staying over but truthfully your legs felt like jelly afterwards you couldn’t do anything but stay beside him, falling asleep in his arms.

Billy puts his arm down, shifting just a little so he could face away from the sunlight, the slight movement unintentionally waking you. He felt bad, watching as your heavy lids blinked themselves open a few times before they focused on his beautiful smile.

“Sorry, go back to sleep babe,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

A smile pulled at your lips as you felt the soft lingering touch of his lips. “S’okay, I want to stay awake.”

Billy smiled at the soft noises you made as you took in a stiff inhale of breath, your body tensing up as you turned away from him, bringing your hand to cover your mouth as you yawned. The feel of morning breath was heavy on your tongue so you decided to go to the bathroom, hoping there would be mouthwash you could freshen up with.

Goosebumps prickled at your skin when you pulled off the sheets, sitting up as you scanned the floor for your clothes that had been scattered around the room amidst the throes of passion. Billy’s eyes roamed your bare skin, memories of last night bring warmth to his body, feeling himself ache for you again the longer he stared.

You spotted your sweater, pushing yourself up from the low platform bed to grab the crumbled fabric from the floor, stretching it over your skin. Beside it was your pants though you picked up your lacy bottoms and stepped into them before leaving his room to find the bathroom.

Billy leaned back against the arm he folded under his head, not feeling like getting up to find his phone wherever he last left it. He didn’t need to distract himself anyway since you walked back in, slightly shivering as your bare feet walked along the cold floors.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling back the blanket.

As you began to get back in bed your movements were halted by “nuh uh” as Billy shook his head. “No clothes in bed, it’s the rules.” He smirked, sitting up towards the edge of the bed.

A giggle escaped your lips as you moved towards Billy’s side of the bed, standing in front of him. His hands went under your sweater, holding you firmly by your waist.

“Those are the rules, huh?” You repeated, grinning coyly as you let your hands glide up his arms, caressing his smooth skin until your fingers met a raised ridge along his left shoulder.

Your brows furrowed with concern as you stared at another scar on his chest, having missed both in the dimmed lighting last night. They were clearly old but by the way Billy’s jaw tensed you suspected they weren’t fully healed.

His dark gaze wandered as he focused on something behind you, his trance dissolving from the sound of your sweet voice saying his name.

“There was… this guy, Arthur. He volunteered at the Ray of Hope group home I was in. We all thought he was so cool, playin’ stickball and hoops with us. I was ten or eleven at the time.” Billy clenched his jaw, clearing his throat of the lump that formed there.

His hands dropped into his lap and he began wringing them. “When a grown man tells you that you’re pretty you know nothing good is coming. Let’s just say I wasn’t interested in the kind of games that he had in mind. I went after him with the stickball bat, caught him a few times before he broke my arm… ripped my rotator cuff in three places.”

You had been listening quietly as Billy spoke, not realizing you were holding your breath until his hand cupped your cheek and you let it out shakily. His story wasn’t new– no, unfortunately you had heard about this situation too many times but despite being familiar with this in your line of work Billy’s story really affected you.

No matter who the person or what their story is, you care deeply about all the cases you have from Metro-General but Billy was different. You really liked him and hearing him talk about the terrible memories from his past reminded you about Pietro and what could have happened if someone had been there to help. Growing up in the system is hard enough as it is, but if the caretakers aren’t doing their job to protect these children…

Sighing, your lips flattened into a line of frustration. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Billy.”

“Hey… don’t, okay?” His hands wrapped around your waist as he looked up to meet your sympathetic eyes. “Everyone’s got a story, this one’s mine.”

His lips stretched across his face into something that wasn’t quite a smile but not a frown either. You knew it wasn’t easy to share, something he clearly can’t forget though you appreciated his openness, feeling closer because of it.

Leaning down you cupped Billy’s cheeks, feeling his scruff scratch at your palms as you placed a gentle kiss to his lips. You felt him smile against you as he kissed back, his hands grabbing the hem of your sweater and breaking the kiss for him to pull it over your head.

Billy kissed your exposed skin, softly, slowly as he laid you down on the bed. His touch was like heaven, setting fire to your soul, and together you climbed higher and higher until you reached the apex of pleasure a few more times over.

You got home late in the afternoon knowing you had a novel’s worth of texts to return from your friends, mainly the girls wanting to know all the details. Bucky’s was the only text that you replied to right away. He hoped you would get home safe, and behind your shared wall he let out a sigh of relief, reading your message that you did, even if it meant you were only getting home now.

Bucky shuffled reluctantly to his door, wondering why there’s a knock. Looking through the peephole, he can’t help but let a smile stretch over his face.

“Hey neighbor!” you said, with a beaming smile.

He hadn’t seen you in a few days, throwing himself deep into his work, thankful for the distraction. “Hey Y/N.” Bucky takes note of what you’re wearing, a comfy hoodie and oversized polar bear pajama pants. You always had the cutest pajamas.

“You busy? I was gonna watch a movie and order a bunch of food since my period came and all I want to do is eat. Sorry was that TMI?” you asked, seeing his expression change in a multitude of ways.

He let out a slightly uncomfortable laugh. “Where’s Billy?”

“Working.”

Bucky wasn’t happy with that answer, making him feel like you were settling for plans with him since Billy was busy. He was about to decline, making up a lie about anything just so he didn’t have to feel bad about himself before you continued.

“But I’d rather hang with you anyway. Not that Billy would care about my period like that but, I don’t know, we’re not at that point yet, you know? Like I feel like I can always be myself around you.”

His blank expression turned into a smile as Bucky nodded his head. “Yeah, yeah I get that. I feel the same about you.”

Bucky felt a weird sensation in his stomach as he stood there smiling at you, breaking out of his trance as you spoke again.

“Okay so hurry up and come over. I don’t know what I want to eat. I kinda want tacos, but also pizza. And if you have cookies bring them over because I already ate the ones I had.”

It felt right, sitting beside you on the couch, stuffing your faces and laughing as you watched a movie. Bucky took it upon himself to grab the bottle of Advil from your bathroom, bringing over a full glass of water for you to take for your cramps.

“Thanks. You know, I know you hate relationships and stuff but you’d make a really good boyfriend.”

Bucky was frozen, the only sound he could hear was that of his heart drumming rapidly in his ear. “Y-you think so?” he croaked out, swallowing down the thick knot in his throat with a gulp of his drink.

You nodded, leaning forward to set the glass down on your table. “Why, you don’t?”

“No, that’s… That’s not it.” He turned away from you, silent and contemplative.

It wasn’t always like this. Bucky was a young boy that grew out of the idea that girls had cooties long before his friends did. It started with Olivia. They met in sixth grade, two nervous kids in a brand new school that happened to sit next to each other in homeroom.

Her eyes were like honey and Bucky was stuck, letting himself get lost in her beauty. He memorized the freckles speckled across the nose and cheeks of her sandy brown skin like a galaxy of stars, each one more dazzling than the last. Her hair was polished bronze packed in tight corkscrews that Bucky loved brushing aside so he could kiss her; every morning before they got to class, during lunch where he neglected his food in favor of her lips, and after school when they parted.

Bucky loved her as much as a young man could love a young woman, his first love, the girl he thought he would have everything with. He was a fool to think he could have it all, blinded by his utter devotion to Olivia before he realized his relationship was more one-sided than he realized.

They spent seven years together and not once did Olivia tell him she wasn’t planning their future the same way Bucky was. Olivia meant everything to him and when she was accepted to college on the West Coast Bucky immediately started looking into transferring to a school out there. It didn’t matter that their music program wasn’t as accredited, he was willing to do anything to make what he and Olivia had last.

What Bucky didn’t know was that Olivia didn’t feel the same. Not anymore. She fell out of love with him and was hoping to use graduation as a clean break. She broke his heart and Bucky was devastated.

He didn’t understand how she could stop loving him just like that. How it was so easy for her to let go of all their history; wondering what the turning point was in their relationship and why she didn’t tell him. His trust was broken. She strung him along for months, years maybe? It wasn’t just the fact that they broke up, she had moved on. Olivia was with someone new and every day Bucky asked himself why he wasn’t worthy of love.

He shut down, losing himself in composition, letting the melody of strife carry him through the sea of heartache. It was decided then, by a boy who was barely a man, to take what he needs and never be vulnerable again. It was easy.

It was easy.

Over the past few months everything has changed. There was a moment Bucky was ready to abandon his beliefs. He had grown up, matured; he knows his boundaries and knows there is so much more of himself to give to someone.

Bucky thought that someone could be you. It was a silly idea. You were just friends. But he was friends with Olivia first too. He felt the same ease as you did with him, enjoying spending time with you even if you did nothing. He thought there might have been a chance, somehow for him to break free of the mold he set upon his life and ask you out but someone beat him to it.

You and Billy had been seeing more and more of each other. He remembers that feeling from so long ago, desperate to spend every waking moment with the person that sent your heart a-flutter. Bucky understood when you cancelled plans with him, for the times Billy was able to make a last minute date after work arrangements changed. He understood, even if he didn’t like it. He couldn’t object even though he wanted to. You were happy and Bucky felt worse the more he thought about even thinking of taking that away from you.

He changed the subject, letting the movie resume but the thoughts never left his mind.

For the first time in a very long time Bucky is lonely. While the world is out overspending on chocolates and roses, fancy dinners and champagne Bucky lays in bed, trying to distract himself with a movie. He’s usually alone on Valentine’s Day, by choice. It’s too complicated to sleep with one of his regulars, not wanting to get their hopes up by any means on the day that celebrates love.

Bucky exhaled a heavy breath, upset with himself for being unable to keep his mind off everything. His heart is a dilapidated shack lost in a desolate wasteland. Abandoned after so many years, it’s dust covered, with a haze of cobwebs clouding over the part of himself that used to thrum with life.

And suddenly the walls become unsteady. His heart begins to crumble at the sound coming from the other side of the wall. It’s you, with unmistakable cries of pleasure, in a duet of passion with Billy.

Bucky shudders, feeling uncomfortable for being able to hear something that should be so intimate. It’s payback perhaps, a taste of his own medicine for all the times he’s disturbed you in the same way.

His mind runs wild against his will, imagining you in bed as the soundtrack of your lovemaking permeates the thin walls. It’s bittersweet poison to his ears.

Bucky throws the blankets off him, nearly tripping over the boots he haphazardly toed off earlier as he rushes towards his desk. He grabs his headphones to block out the sounds, a painful reminder of what could never be.

He grabs his phone, scrolling through his contact list. So many names and yet he feels nothing for them. He stops at your name, his chest hitching with agony. He wants what you have. To love fully, and give himself completely to someone. To renovate all the broken pieces inside of himself.

His fingers tap away and Bucky refuses to stop himself of their doing. He’s scared but excited, knowing the threat of getting hurt again is very real but he’s had enough of telling himself that the way he’s been living is what he’s really wanted.

With his own melodies playing in his ear Bucky is ignorant of the way you cry out Billy’s name. He is blissfully ignorant, opening the Tinder app he’s just downloaded, creating a profile because he’s finally ready to give dating a real shot.

PART 14

[hsbeloved]

night drive

hihi! just a short little (y/n) friends to lovers thing (minus the lovers part. sorry, no smut this time) kinda hate how this one ended, felt a little rushed to me but in my defense i wrote this at like 3am in about 40 minutes. messages with input are always appreciated! <3

warnings: none

word count: 3.1k 

I had been mindlessly bingeing some new netflix show when I'd felt my phone vibrate on the bed next to me. I was almost tempted to ignore it. Scared it was my best friend with yet another invite to some trashy party her new boyfriend was throwing at his frat house. I had never once accepted and yet that never stopped her from trying to get me to join her. I knew deep down she was just trying to be a good friend. I almost felt bad. Almost.

When it turned from incessant thumping to a high pitched tone indicating an incoming call, I decided it had to be important. No one ever called me unless it was. When I picked it up from beside me, I squinted at the screen that was slightly blurry from my eyes not yet adjusting to the brightness. Instead of trying to read the name, I blindly swiped to answer.

"Hello?" I croaked out, my voice cracking a little from not using it for a while.

"'Hey y/n! Whas'up? Too busy sleeping to text me back, huh?"

Gasping a little, I sat up a bit straighter. Goosebumps immediately etched themselves upon every inch of my skin. It was Harry.

"Uh hey Har. No, not sleeping. Just busy doing uh-" I searched my eyes around my room looking for an excuse that wasn't me being a loser and watching tv by myself on a friday night. "Cleaning. I was cleaning. Everything okay?" I rushed out.

He was silent for a moment before I heard a slight chuckle. "You? Cleaning? Thas' funny, love. Can't remember ever seein' yah tidy up anything before"

I couldn't help but giggle a little at this. He was right, of course. I hated cleaning and he knew that. "Hey! I clean. I'm a very cleanly person, okay?"

"Alrigh' alrigh', calm down. Was jus' teasin'. Was actually callin' to see if yah wanted to come for a drive with me. Need to clear my head a bit and could use some company" I couldn't be sure, but he sounded dejected.

"Har. Is everything okay?" I was barely talking above a whisper. Nervous that if I spoke too loud he wouldn't express how he was feeling to me.

I heard a sigh and then some rustling in the background, like he was moving around on his bed. "Jus' had a pretty rough argument with Rachel. Kinda need a friend to hang with to get my mind off of it. Plus I jus' miss yah. Haven't seen yah in forever, bubs."

I couldn't help but perk up at the nickname despite the sourness I felt at him mentioning his girlfriend. It wasn't like I wasn't happy for him. Rachel seemed like she was a nice enough girl. She just so happened to be dating the person i've been secretly and ridiculously in love with since I met him a year ago at university.

"Sorry to hear that, Harry. Do you wanna talk about it?" I wanted to be a good friend and offer my advice if I could, but mostly I just wanted to hear him talk more. His voice was a sickly sweet song that my heart almost always craved to hear.

"Nah, really jus' wanna pick yah up and head somewhere for a while. That okay?" I could hear him already getting up from wherever he was sitting and gathering his things. The tell tale clink of his car keys a reminder that I needed to get dressed and at least a little presentable.

Picking at a loose string on the hem of my worn out t-shirt, I sighed and replied a little slowly. "Yeah, 'course it's okay. Just text me when you're here. Drive safe, alright?"

He let out a soft chuckle before breathing out a short reply of "Always do." and hanging up.

When all I heard was silence on the other end, I threw my phone to the side and got up to head to the mirror hanging across from my bed. Examining myself, I figured I didn't want to try too hard or he'd know something was up. I threw a black knit sweater over my shoulders and replaced my sweatpants with a pair of leggings, tugging my hair back into a loose ponytail on top of my head.

After another fifteen minutes filled with me brushing my teeth and washing my face, I felt my phone go off in the pocket of my sweater. I pulled it out and saw that Harry had messaged to let me know he was in my driveway. Grabbing my purse, I headed toward the door to give myself one last look in the mirror before opening it and locking it behind me.

When I turned to see him sitting in his idling car, my breath caught in my throat and my heart skipped a literal beat. Like, an actual hitch in my heartbeat. The light from his phone flashing across his dazzling eyes in the darkness of his car made him look angelic. There was a small crease in his brow and his lips were slightly downturned, and yet he was still magnetic. It never got easier to look at him.

As soon as I reached for the door handle of the passenger seat, I heard a click and the sounds of laughter from inside. My hand reacted before my mind could catch on and when I attempted to pull the door open, I was met with resistance. Of course he had locked it.

"C'mon Har, not funny. Open up." My plea went unanswered, though. His smirk the only acknowledgment I received.

I put on my best pleading face, pouting with my bottom lip jutted out above my top and my eyebrows scrunching together in playful sadness.

"Pleeeeeease open the door, Harry?" I clasped my hands together in front of me and gave him the biggest doe eyes I could muster before I heard another click.

Taking the opportunity before he could change his mind, I yanked the door open a little too harshly and threw myself into the seat with a grin.

"Knew you couldn't say no to me. You never can." I muttered before placing my bag by my feet and strapping myself into the car.

When I looked up at him across from me, he was staring at me with a strange look I'd never seen on his face before. It looked like he was deep in thought but also like he was in pain. I wasn't sure what to say so I just slapped my hands down against my thighs and let out a deep sigh before speaking.

"So! Where to, Mr. Styles?"

Still looking at me, he shook his head in confusion as if he forgot where he was. Once he collected himself, he plugged his phone into the aux, handing it to me with a nod to pick some music.

"Figured we could jus' see where the night takes us, love. Hang out for a while. That still alrigh' with yah?"

He seemed almost nervous when he spoke, which was an unrecognizable emotion on him. He was always so sure of himself. He carried himself with confidence and a bit of cockiness to be honest, but not in an overwhelming way. He was just aware of himself and his affect on others. All I could do was stare at the side of his face that now was looking out at the road ahead of him. His jaw was clenched and his grip on the wheel looked like it could break it if he really tried hard enough.

"Of course that's okay, Har. Why wouldn't it be?" I questioned.

He exhaled a breath before letting one of his arms bend and fold onto the center console to rest between us, his hand dangling slightly off of the edge.

He turned to look at me and then quickly whipped his eyes back toward the road before muttering out "Jus' didn't wanna waste your friday night s'all. Know you could be doing somethin' a little bit more fun, ya know?"

I was quick to shake my head and grab at his free hand, bringing it onto my lap to hold in-between my own.

"Where is this coming from, Harry? You know I don't care what we do. I just like spending time with you."

He looked down at where our hands were joined, my fingers absentmindedly twisting one of his rings while I stared at the perplexed expression gracing his beautiful features. He's never acted like this with me. Every time we hang out, it's filled with his newly acquired joke of the day and an eventual headache from how hard he makes me laugh. Tonight though, he was so closed off. It was starting to worry me.

Just as he's about to speak, he suddenly freezes and breathes out a laugh so small I think I imagine it.

He brings his hand that's still connected with mine up toward the screen on his dash and points to the song that had just started playing, before letting it fall back into my lap.

"This song was playin' the first time we met, ya know." He looks over at me expectantly. I look at the screen and then back at his face, a smile gracing my lips.

"There's no way you remember the song that was playing, Harry." I reply dryly with a laugh of my own before continuing my assault on his ring. I loved playing with them, and he knew it. He would act like it bothered him. Tried to feign offense at how cold my hands always were against his intensely feverish skin, but we both knew he enjoyed it as much as I did.

He scoffed. A look of annoyance dancing around his emerald eyes as he took his hand from mine to point a finger at me.

"I absolutely do! Got a mind like a whip, I'll 'ave you know." He swiveled his head back toward the windshield, putting his hand back on the wheel. "I remember everything when it comes to you, love" He uttered in a hushed tone. Like he was afraid of even saying the words.

My mouth hung open the smallest bit before I could stop it. Sure, Harry was affectionate with me. A little more than was friendly sometimes, but never so outwardly sweet with his words. He was more of a cuddle and hug type of friend. Even an occasional kiss on the forehead if I was lucky and he was tired enough.

I reached out to him and grabbed his hand once again, rubbing my thumb in circles against his heated skin.

I wanted to tell him I loved him. Wanted nothing more than to grab his face and kiss him, let him know just how much I adored him. But I was scared and he was in a relationship. So all I could muster the confidence to say was "That's really sweet, Har."

He sighed and gave me a lopsided grin while muttering out "Yup, tha's me. Sweet ol' Harry."

I could tell he wanted to say something else by the tone of his voice, but didn't want to push it. Instead deciding to point out all of the constellations I knew by heart out of the window.

Harry did his best to follow along and listen intently, but with his eyes needing to focus on driving, he was more so just nodding along to make me happy.

In the middle of my explanation about how older stars start to turn red as they run out of hydrogen to burn, I notice the car slowing down to a stop against a patch of grass on the side of the road.

"Wait why are we stopping? Everything okay?" I question with concern laced in my voice.

Harry puts the car in park, unbuckles himself, and immediately turns his whole body to face mine. His hand is still enclosed in my own, so he takes it back and places it against his thigh before running his other through his already messy hair.

Sighing deeply, he lifts his eyes to mine and opens his mouth to speak but doesn't actually say anything.

"Harry, you're kind of scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong. You can talk to me" I start to reach my hand out to stroke his arm but he holds up his own to stop me and I physically feel my heart stop for a second.

"Did I- did I do something?" My voice comes out so small I don't even recognize it.

He scoffs for the second time since I got into the car. The hand on his thigh joining his other in the mess of curls on top of his head, pulling at the roots before dropping them into his lap and staring at me once more.

"'Course not, bubs. I did."

"I don't. I don't understand. I-" Is all I'm able to get past my lips before he's rushing out words so fast it's hard to keep up.

"I broke up with Rachel. Well, she technically broke up with me. Said somethin' 'bout how she can't be with someone who isn't able to commit." He was getting flushed from how upset he was. I could see it even in the dark. A splotchy patch of red was making it's way up his neck and I wanted to reach out and hug him. Comfort him. But he wasn't finished, so I sat on my hands to control myself and let him talk.

"Thought it was a load'a bullshit at first but she said somethin' that really stuck with me, and I can't seem to stop thinkin' 'bout it." He narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing.

"Need yah to help me figure somethin' out. Promise I won't be mad if yah don't wanna. Just need'a try. Jus' once." He was whispering. His usual boisterous and lively energy was nowhere to be found. He was looking at me with such a serious expression on his face that it made me shrink back a little and avert my gaze to the side of the dashboard to compose myself.

When I chanced a glance back toward him, his face was so close it made me gasp and jump back.

"What are-"

I couldn't even finish my sentence. He was inching closer and closer, my breathing getting more shallow with every second that ticked by.

"Tell me to stop. Push me away if yah don' wanna do this. I won't be mad, bubs. I promise." His angelic voice was so quiet I had to will my heart to stop beating so violently against my ears so that I could hear him properly.

I exhaled the breath I was holding, but couldn't find it in myself to move. I'd thought of this moment every single day for a year, and it was finally happening. I wanted this more than anything, the anticipation was making my chest ache in such an intense way that all I could think to say back was "No."

Harry stilled immediately. His face scrunched up in hurt as he started to move himself back into his seat. Before he could get too far, I yanked a hand out from under myself and used it to pull him back toward me by his chin.

When I saw the confused expression on his face, I realized what I had said and tried to explain the best that I could with my brain suddenly a pile of goo from inhaling his musky scent just seconds before.

"I meant. No. I don't want you to stop. I just-" I sighed heavily and shook my head while closing my eyes briefly to control my fluttering eyelashes.

Opening them, I was met with his own that were now wet with substantial emotion, making the green of them so vibrant it made me lose my breath for a second.

"I want-" another sigh. "I want you to kiss me."

He audibly gulped, his adams apple bobbing up and down as he stared at my lips. "Yah sure?" he probed with a glance up at my eyes.

"I'm sure, Harry." My head was now the one leaning toward his own. The hand that was placed on his chin moving to the back of his head to pull him in closer. My eyes closing once again as I felt his top lip brush against my bottom one so softly it almost felt like I imagined it.

Just the smallest touch from him and I was already buzzing. My stomach tied up in knots and the butterflies in my ribcage fluttering like crazy. My blood was boiling. I felt cold and way too hot all at once.

I heard his light gasp before I felt his plush lips press against mine with a little more pressure and confidence. He slowly slid his hand onto my cheek, taking his time to explore this new sensation. I kiss him back lazily, reveling in the softness of him. We exchange a few more pert kisses before it suddenly becomes more heated, the atmosphere shifting from tentative and cautious to more concrete in its intensity.

He grips onto my shoulder for purchase, bringing me even closer to his chest. He kisses me harshly, each kiss he breaks is released with a soft, smacking sound that grows sharper each time. I move my hands to fist the soft material of his shirt behind his back, my brow creasing in pleasure while I sigh into his mouth. He swallows every noise I make, groaning out a few of his own before a breathy whimper escapes my mouth as his tongue slides along my bottom lip.

When he hears the noise this time, he breaks apart from me and moves his forehead onto my shoulder, our collective breathing heavy and loud in the quiet of the car. My lips tingle, already missing the fullness of his against them.

"Wasn't expectin' tha'." He pants into the skin of my neck, gently holding onto my arms. "Guess Rachel was right after all."

"About what?" I ask, trying and failing to catch my breath.

He lifts his head slightly away from my body to look into my eyes as he softly says "I really am in love with my best friend."

At his confession, my breath gets caught in my throat and my lungs shrivel up. My eyes suddenly get weepy and I'm unable to stop the stray tear that falls onto my cheek. Harry takes his thumb and swipes it away before asking me what's wrong with gentle eyes.

"Just never thought you'd feel the same way." I whisper.

He gasps, smiling so bright and large that his dimples become a deep pool inside of his cheeks. "C'mere" he wheezes out before crashing his lips back against mine. His teeth clash against mine a bit from how much he's grinning, but it doesn't matter. It's still without a doubt the best kiss I've ever had.

[siancore]

Games We Play

Summary:  Teens Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, and their friends play a couple of games like Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle. The truth is, Bucky is only playing because he might get to kiss Sam Wilson.

Content: Shy Sam Wilson; Foul-Mouthed Bucky Barnes; Misunderstandings; Mutual Pining; Crushes; First Kisses; High School AU

Words: 2,541

The warmth indoors made the teens forget that it was a chilly evening outside as they sat about enjoying one another’s company. Some popular song or another played in the background as the group of friends laughed, cheered, and teased one another. The party was at James Rhodes’ house, in the garage turned-kickback-space. The game: Spin the Bottle.

“We’re too old for this,” Steve had said. “We’re seniors. It’s for kids who haven’t made-out with anyone yet.”

“Yeah,” replied Natasha. “It’s for you, Rogers.”

“I’ve made out with people,” Steve had argued back, his face turning red. “I’ve kissed people.”

“A peck on the cheek from your grandma doesn’t count,” Natasha replied, causing everyone to chuckle and join in on the harmless teasing until Steve relented and the game got underway.

The group sat in a circle on cushions on the floor. It was the second go around and Steve had gotten to kiss Sharon and T’Challa – he was looking quite flustered. Bucky was next to Steve, anticipating his turn, and trying to keep his eyes from wandering to the newest member of their group, Sam Wilson. He had started hanging out with Steve a little over a year ago and fit in well with Steve’s other friends. Bucky had seen Sam around school before he had started hanging out with them. Actually, Bucky had noticed him. He was kind of hard to miss with that face and that smile. Bucky had himself a little crush on Sam, but he wasn’t going to tell anyone, apart from Steve.

Bucky had already kissed Natasha, who was seated at Sam’s right, and Misty, who was seated at Sam’s left, but he was aiming for Sam. Just couldn’t get the bottle to stop spinning in the right spot. He glanced around the circle, and then looked over at Sam who was looking back at him, somewhat shyly. Bucky kept staring until Steve cleared his throat and nudged Bucky’s arm.

“We’re waiting, Barnes,” Natasha said, and Bucky mumbled a smartass retort before spinning. It landed on Carol. His face dropped, it seemed.

“God, I know you’re into dudes and all, but don’t look so disappointed,” she ribbed, before Bucky rolled his eyes and leaned in for a quick peck.

He stole another glance at Sam whom he swore looked a little disappointed as well.

Once it was Sam’s turn again, Bucky had to try his hardest not to bite his lip. He was holding his breath, though, as he watched the bottle spin counter-clockwise and then slow down the closer it got to him. He felt his tummy do a little flip as it slowed in front of him, and then stopped in the middle of him and Steve.

God. Damn. It.

“Ooh, it’s a toss up between Barnes and Rogers,” said Rhodey, excitedly.

“Nah, I think it’s closer to Rogers,” Natasha interjected.

“Yeah, Rogers,” said Scott.

“Definitely Barnes,” T’Challa proffered.

“I dunno, it might be closer to me,” Steve, the asshole, chimed in.

“I actually think it’s dead in the middle,” said Carol. “Go on, Sam. You have to choose: Barnes or Rogers?”

….

Sam looked one hundred percent flustered as his face grew warm and he eyed the two best friends. Steve was cute and all, but Sam thought Bucky was hot. If he kissed Steve, it’d just be part of the game and he wouldn’t feel weird about it because they were just friends. If he kissed Bucky, he just might make a fool of himself and possibly ruin any future, non-game-related kissing between them. What if Bucky didn’t like it? What if Bucky didn’t think he was hot in return? Why was he overthinking it?

“Sam?” Natasha pushed. “Who’s it gonna be?”

“Steve,” said Sam quickly, noticing how Bucky’s face remained straight.

He had made the right choice. Bucky had no reaction at all. He didn’t care. Sam had done him a favor.

…..

Bucky felt his heart sink.

Sam Wilson didn’t want to kiss him.

Cute, funny, hot as fuck Sam Wilson did not want to kiss Bucky.

It’s just a stupid fuckin’ game, Bucky silently reminded himself as he kept his expression neutral. He kept his head down as Sam’s perfect lips met Steve the Traitorous Bastard Slash So-Called Best Friend’s.

…..

Sam was distracted a moment by Misty tickling his side when he heard his name and a chorus of oohs. He looked up and saw the bottle pointing in his direction and Bucky Barnes looking at him.

“Sorry, who spun?” asked Sam, softly.

“Barnes,” Rhodey said.

“Oh,” Sam found himself saying, even though he had not meant to.

“It’s okay, Wilson,” said Bucky, brusquely. “Don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, I – I was just – it’s fine,” he said while shuffling forward a little hesitantly; Bucky mirrored him.

They leaned in and closed their eyes just as their lips met.

…..

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Don’t get a boner. Don’t get a boner. Don’t get a fuckin’ boner.

Bucky didn’t get a boner, but he swore he fell in love with Sam Wilson the moment they pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss.

Fuck.

He was so gone.

…..

The first game was over and done with, and the winner was T’Challa, who had received more kisses than everyone else, followed by Steve, who had received more kisses from T’Challa than anyone else. Steve definitely had a crush on T’Challa. He was preoccupied when Bucky sidled up next to him and said, “Come to the kitchen?”

“For what?”

“More soda.”

“There’s soda right there,” Steve replied.

“Just come to the fuckin’ kitchen, Stevie,” said Bucky grabbing him by the arm.

When they were away from earshot of the rest of their friends, Bucky let go and then stood in front of Steve. He folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes.

“What?” asked Steve, confused by his friend’s odd behavior.

“What?” Bucky mocked, scrunching his face up. “I think it’s closer to me.”

“What’re you talkin’ about? The game?”

“Did you want to kiss him?” asked Bucky, stepping a little closer.

“Who? Sam?”

“Yeah, dickhead, Sam,” Bucky said sharply.

“It was a game, Buck.”

“Fuck, you did wanna kiss him,” said Bucky, and Steve could hear the hurt in his voice.

“No, Buck. Honest, it was just a game. Sam’s my friend. I didn’t wanna kiss him like you wanted to. I know how much you like him. I’d never kiss him like that.”

He watched as the relief washed over Bucky, before a forlorn expression settled on his face.

“Don’t matter anyways,” Bucky said, as he dipped his head, placed his hands in his pockets, and scuffed his sock-covered toes against the hardwood floor. “Sam doesn’t like me back. He didn’t even wanna kiss me and he kissed everyone else.”

“He did kiss you, though.”

“Yeah, but you know what I mean,” said Bucky, as he hugged himself in a self-soothing manner. “If it wasn’t part of the game, he wouldn’t wanna.”

“How do you even know, Buck?” asked Steve with a concerned look on his face. “Have you ever even asked him?”

“Fuck off. I’m not gonna go up to him and say, hey, wanna touch your mouth to my mouth for a little while?”

“Yeah, don’t say that,” Steve replied. “But maybe ask him out and see what he says?”

“I dunno, I mean, have you seen him, Stevie? Ugh. He’s so fuckin’ hot I can barely function around him. How would I even get the words out?”

Steve let out a little amused chuckle and clapped his hand to his friend’s shoulder and said, “Slowly and one at a time.”

…..

“You guys playin’?” asked Carol as Steve and Bucky returned with more sodas.

“What’s the game?” asked Steve.

“Truth or Dare.”

“I’m out,” said Bucky, taking up a seat at the small table as he placed the drinks down; he noticed Sam was looking at him and it made him feel warm.

“I’m in,” said Steve, flopping down on one of the mattresses suspiciously close to T’Challa.

“Awesome, I’ll start,” said Natasha. “Truth or dare – Carol.”

“Dare,” she replied with a smile.

“I dare you to text your crush and tell her you think she’s hot.”

“I don’t have her number,” said Carol.

“Wait, who’s your crush?” asked Scott, with a handful of chips in his mouth.

“Maria,” said Carol.

“Hill or Rambeau?” asked Rhodey.

“Rambeau,” Carol replied.

“Send her a DM,” Natasha said, and Carol proceeded with her dare.

She showed everyone that she had sent the message, and then got a notification soon thereafter.

“What’d she say?” asked Natasha, excitedly.

“Umm, nothin’ much,” said Carol, with a wide smile. “But let’s just say I have her number, now.”

…..

The game progressed with dares outweighing the truths. It got back to Natasha and she looked about the room to formulate her next dare should the target of her question choose that particular option.

“Sam,” she started. “Truth or dare?”

Bucky lifted his head and looked at Sam, though he was pretending to be more interested in something on his phone.

Sam shrugged a little and then said, “Truth.”

“Boring!” said Scott.

“Shut up, he’s shy,” Rhodey replied.

“Everyone shut up,” said Natasha. “So, you’re going with truth, Wilson?”

“Yep,” he replied somewhat bashfully.

“Okay, so, tell us truthfully who do you think was a better kisser: Rogers or Barnes?”

“Nat, come on,” Steve said, looking over at Bucky who looked like he was about to be sick.

“Hey, I can ask. He chose truth.”

“I – I dunno, Natasha. This feels mean,” said Sam as he glanced over at Bucky.

“Who’s the better kisser: Steve or Bucky?” she repeated, just as Bucky got up abruptly from his seat, mumbled something to Natasha in Russian, and then stormed out, not bothering to grab his jacket or even put on shoes.

…..

 It was cold out, as it was nearing midnight, but Bucky needed to get out of there. He wasn’t going to sit there and hear Sam say Steve was a better kisser. He was not going to subject himself to more humiliation. He exhaled loudly and watched the steam slip from his mouth while he rubbed his hands together. Just then, he heard the door open and someone step out.

“Not in the mood, Stevie,” he said, not looking up.

“Sorry,” said a voice that definitely wasn’t Steve. “I just – I umm, I thought you might’ve. Sorry. Never mind.”

Bucky looked up to see Sam standing there with a blanket wrapped around himself and an apologetic look on his face.

“I’ll just go,” Sam added.

“No,” said Bucky quickly, just as Sam turned to leave. “It’s okay. Stay. Please.”

Bucky’s heart felt like it was in his throat. Sam gave him a coy smile and walked closer to where Bucky was sitting on the garden bench. He lifted his arm and the blanket to offer Bucky some of its warmth. Bucky accepted and they sat side-by-side wrapped in the blanket with heat radiating off one another.

“Sorry about before,” Sam said, his arm and leg pressed against Bucky’s.

He smelled so good, Bucky mused before saying, “Thanks. Wasn’t your fault. Natalia was just bein’ a shithead.”

Sam smiled and said, “What did you say to her, y’know, in Russian?”

Bucky smiled and said, “Called her a shithead. It’s cool. We’ve been friends forever. Immigrant kids and all that.”

Sam nodded his head.

“I’m still sorry. That last truth. I didn’t want you to feel bad or anything.”

“I don’t,” he said too quickly, almost defensively. “Doesn’t matter what you thought.”

“Oh,” said Sam, letting his head drop. “Okay.”

Fuck, you’re screwing this up, Barnes. Get a grip, Bucky mentally chastised himself.

“No, no. Not like that. I didn’t mean it like that,” said Bucky, as he turned to face Sam. “Of course it matters what you think. You’re probably the only person outside of Steve whose opinion really counts to me.”

“For real?” asked Sam, turning himself slightly in Bucky’s direction.

“Yeah, man. You’re super smart and friendly,” said Bucky as he stared into Sam’s pretty brown eyes. “You’re nice to everyone when you don’t have to be. Even to me and I’m a moody asshole.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole,” said Sam with a small smile. “I think you’re awesome.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“I dunno,” said Bucky, as he wrung his hands together. “I just – never mind. It’s silly.”

“No, go on. Tell me.”

Bucky took a deep breath and said to himself, “Okay. Okay. Slowly and one at a time.”

Sam smiled a little and said, “What?”

“Sorry, I’m just trying to psych myself up.”

“For what?”

“To tell you that I think you’re awesome, too. I think you’re more than awesome. I think you’re amazing, actually. And I like you.”

Sam’s smile grew wider and Bucky’s heart skipped, but he kept going.

“I really, really like you, Sam. And I know the kiss was just part of the game, but I really liked it, too.”

Sam smiled shyly at Bucky, but said nothing. Bucky felt panic set in at the silence, so blurted out his next words.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Sam replied.

“When the others said to choose who to kiss outta me and Stevie, why’d you pick him and not me?”

Sam’s smile fell away and Bucky immediately regretted asking. He went to apologize, but Sam spoke up

“I chose Steve because I wanted to, ya know, kiss you,” he admitted softly before dipping his head and looking up at Bucky through his lashes.

“What? What does that even mean?” asked Bucky, mesmerized by the way the light was washing over Sam’s face.

“I picked Steve to kiss ‘cause I was worried that if I chose you, you wouldn’t like kissin’ me. And I wanted you to like me. Then we needed up kissing anyways, so —”

“Okay,” said Bucky, taking a steadying breath. “Okay, so firstly, I do like you. So fuckin’ much. And I liked our kiss. I loved it. Best kiss I’ve ever had. Secondly, because you’re so pretty and so close and my brain can’t function properly, I’m gonna need you to clarify: Are you sayin’ you like me back?”

Sam gifted Bucky with a cute little smile before saying, “Yeah. I like you, Bucky.”

Bucky let out a relieved laugh and beamed brightly at Sam. Somehow their hands became entangled before Sam added, “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Bucky replied.

“I dare you to kiss me again.”

Bucky let out a little huff and then brought one hand up to gently cup Sam’s face.

“Just so you know,” Bucky started, as he leaned in. “I don’t need to be dared to kiss you, Sam. Happy to do it any time, any place, as long as you want me to.”

“I do,” said Sam as he closed more distance between them. “I want you to.”

Bucky smiled and then pressed his lips against Sam’s. It was even better than the first time. It was soft and sweet and spread warmth through both boys. They were so wrapped up in the moment, they didn’t hear the cheers coming from their friends who were spying from the garage window.

[crystalrose555]

Slap me, I dare you! pt.4

“Marley.”

“...”

“Marley, I’m speaking to you.”

“What do you want, Lucifer? I’m doing homework right now.” Marley snapped back with a growl.

Lucifer just sighed as he held his temples for a moment. Instead of responding, he just placed the D.D.D. on the desk next to her.

“What’s that?” Marley asked, pulling herself away from her books.

“This is your D.D.D. that you were supposed to receive when you first came here.”

Marley raised an eyebrow as she pictured up the device and looked back at the eldest brother.

“And you’re giving me this now? Don’t you think you’re super late on this?” She teased cheekily.

Lucifer, on the other hand, was not amused by her observation.

“Yes, but I didn’t think you were smart enough to figure it out when you first got here.” He sneered back.

“Touché, prick.” She answered flatly.

“Regardless, it’s already programmed with everyone’s numbers along with a number of apps that will be useful. So if there’s any future trouble, you have the means to contact someone.”

Marley looked at her new phone before looking up at the eldest brother with a smirk across her face.

“Contact someone or contact you directly? Because it sounds like the almighty Lucifer is worried about my wellbeing.” She poked verbally.

Lucifer’s eyes just narrowed in annoyance.

“Don’t get cute, I’m only doing this so I don’t have to punish another noble because of you.” He claimed as he headed toward the door.

“Don’t hide your feelings, Lucy!” She called out to him.

Lucifer snapped his fury-laced gaze back at the smiling selkie who cat-grinned in return.

“...I’m gonna put that as your contact name.”

“If you do, I’ll put you in study hall for the foreseeable future.”

“Hey, that’s an abuse of power!” Marley pointed out.

Lucifer just smirked in triumph as he finally left Marley’s room. With a snort, Marley turned back to her desk with a slight pout. She then picked up the phone to inspect and play with it, scroll and tap the different icons. With a final glance over her shoulder, she casually changed the names in contacts, starting with ‘Lucifer’ being turned to ‘Lucy’ with a low snicker.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Uuuuh, shut uuuuup...” Marley groaned as she shed her pelt.

She reached out slowly to pull her D.D.D. close as the blinding screen pierced her tired eyes. Skimming the screen, she groaned harshly as the cheery pinging of her text notifications quickly began grinding on her nerves. In less than a week, her phone was at the center of all the texts from and between the brothers of the house. At first, it was relieving since she could be part of the action without having to stop her studies but now it was becoming a pain in her stubby tail. It was late and she didn’t have the brain power to deal with the mass wave of messages, especially considering she barely had any sleep for the past week. Clearly, the boys can figure out their own problems without her input.

“Well, looks like I’m sleeping in the tub tonight.” She grumbled as she peeled herself from the bed and dragged herself to the personal bathroom, leaving her D.D.D. on the bed to vibrate away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Marley, are you in there?” Levi asked softly as he knocked on Marley’s door.

Levi took in a deep breath as he weighed his options. He sent countless messages to Marley since now they could share memes and inside jokes without his brothers butting their heads in their business. However, she suddenly stopped replying to him and has gone silent. Was she finally sick of him, did she finally decide that he wasn’t worth the trouble being friends with? Levi’s envious thoughts and insecurities began to swirl in his mind, forming a dark storm of potential envy. He was so lost in his own thoughts he couldn’t even sense his surroundings and was only brought back to reality when Asmo blew air over the edge of his ear, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin.

“What the hell, are you trying to make me summon Lotan!?” He squealed sharply as he turned to his brothers.

“Oi, we were tryin’ to get your attention but you were zonin’ out like a creeper.” Mammon pointed out.

“Who are you calling a creeper, you scumbag!?”

Mammon and Levi argued back and forth while Asmo took the opportunity to let himself into Marley’s room. He took a look around to see that the room was barely customized with any type of decoration, with the only difference being the table filled with papers and a laptop in power saving mode. He pouted to himself, saddened by the lack of personalization, Asmo made his way to the book-filled bed where he sat and picked up the abandoned D.D.D. with peaked curiosity.

“Don’t even think about it, Asmo.” Levi ordered as he finally got the nerve to enter the room.

“What? I was just going to give her a truly beautiful background for her wallpaper.” He chimed.

“Let me guess, a picture of you?” Mammon answered flatly as he snatched the phone from his younger brother’s hand.

“Yep, she hasn’t answered any of our texts. She’s got some nerve.” Mammon pointed out with a grumble.

“Ok but where is she?” Levi asked as he looked around desperately.

Mammon only answered his brother by shushing him as a faint whistling sound caught his ears. Realizing it was coming from the bathroom, he motioned his siblings to follow him as he gently picked the bathroom’s lock. Once inside, the demons surrounded the tub and stared down the source of the whistling. There laid Mochi, floating in the half filled bathtub, whistling with each exhale through her nostrils. Her flippers were folded in and cradling her round, blubbery body as she bobbed up and down in the water.

“Aww, she’s sooo cute~” Asmo managed to squeal at a low volume.

“Shh, are you trying to wake her up?” Levi reacted.

“So she wasn’t answerin’ us because she was sleepin’ in the tub? Guess it would be hard to text with flippers.” Mammon claimed with a shoulder shrug.

Eventually, the demons found themselves on their knees, resting along the edge of the tub as they watched the sleeping seal, whistling and bobbing in the clear water. Occasionally, out of boredom and curiosity, one of them would poke her to watch her sink and rise with the motion of the water while another would take pictures while snickering. As she bobbed back and forth, the boys were so fixated that they failed to realize that their jesting was starting to stir her from her slumber. Her eyes slowly blinked only to snap open upon seeing herself surrounded by noisy demons. In response, she slapped violently and splashed the water of her tub at the intruders. Asmo shrieked as all the surrounding brothers got up as the cold water threatened to drench them.

“Mochi, no, not my hair!” Asmo cried shrilly.

“Oi, what’s with the splashin’, fuzzball!?” Mammon yelled out as he held his hands up to block some of the water.

Mochi didn’t turn back into a human to answer, she just hissed harshly at the intruding brothers which caused all of them to jump.

“I didn’t know she could hiss! I thought she was like a dog!” Levi cracked out as he tried to protect his phone from the oncoming water.

The sounds of hissing and screaming eventually caught the attention of the other brothers who came only to discover Mammon, Levi and Asmo soaked to the bone while bracing against the bathroom door. Lucifer just crossed his arms in disappointment.

“I honestly thought the three of you were old enough to not play in the bathroom.” Satan commented disappointedly.

“We weren’t playin’, Mochi just went nuts and tried to splash us to death!” Mammon yelled back.

“My poor hair, it took me forever to get it just right.” Asmo sobbed as he combed his fingers through his wet locks.

“Move aside.” Lucifer commanded as he made his way to the bathroom door.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Lucifer.” Levi whimpered.

“Nonsense, it’s time for classes and to end this foolishness.” Lucifer harshly claimed as he entered the bathroom.

There he stared at the heavily breathing animal who suddenly looked up at him and growled. Lucifer just stared down with his arms crossed.

“Good morning Marley, I take it that your wake up call was pleasant but it’s time for you to get up.”

Mochi just hissed harshly at the first born while slapping her side.

“I don’t have time for your temper tantrum and I definitely don’t care for your tone.”

“Can he understand her?” Beel whispered to his twin.

“No but he can understand when someone’s sassing him.” Belphie quietly answered.

The younger brothers watched on as the room began to steam from the sheer aggression that was radiating out the bathroom. The sound of Mochi’s hissing and slapping echoed along the bathroom’s walls while Lucifer remained stone faced with an icy glare.

“Enough, you’re going to suffer greatly if you don’t get yourself together right now!” He roared.

And just like that, Mochi’s last nerve snapped as she answered the angered Morningstar. Not with words but with retaliation as she violently splashed him with nearly twice the amount of water that his brothers received, thrashing about violently while hissing, barking and snorting like a feral beast. However, despite the perceived fury from the furry creature in the tub, the remaining brother stood silent, nearly shivering as they watched the water drip down the soaked Lucifer. He remained motionless, his face absent of wrinkles or a frown, instead a gentle smile that was accompanied with a gaze that transcended wrath and anger.

“So you’ve chosen...” He calmly claimed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Right here it says that seals become aggressive when they’re exhausted. They’ve been known to lash out at researchers that try to study them too closely.” Satan exclaimed as he flipped through the pages of his book.

“So that’s why she went crazy. Poor Mochi was completely burnt out~” Asmo cooed as fixed up his hair in the mirror.

“Yeah, that makes sense since she’s been doing school work nonstop since she got here. So why don’t you go easy on her, Lucifer?” Beel pleaded.

Lucifer gently dried his hair with a black towel before resting it upon his broad shoulders.

“What do you think? Should I go easy on you?” Lucifer asked with a smile upon his face.

Mochi hissed and growled as she clawed at the eldest brother who smiled sweetly at her. However, none of it mattered since she couldn’t reach him through the prison sphere that she was stuck in. Bright purple and hollowed, Mochi was trapped in a bubble of solid demonic energy and every movement she made only caused her to roll around chaotically. She tried to freeze her way out only to fog up her sphere.

“I’m sorry, dear, I didn’t quite catch that. You need to speak up.” Lucifer teased.

Mochi barked aggressively as she tried to ram Lucifer with his own sphere. However, the eldest simply stopped her with his foot resting against the surface.

“Uhh, don’t you think you’re being childish?” Levi weakly asked.

Lucifer wasn’t listening to the poor otaku as he began to spin the pissed off selkie with his foot. Skillfully, he spun her hard enough that she circled the room without hitting any furniture or anyone before she returned underneath his shoe, dizzy and disoriented.

“Oh come on, Lucifer, even I’m gettin’ embarrassed watchin’ this!” Mammon called out as he recorded the entire thing in secret.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

The Spidey Squad Playing Among Us

Masterlist

Welp, this game is all the rave all of a sudden and irdk how since the game's pretty much been here forever lol but it's still fun so I had to jump on the bandwagon and here we are! Make sure you check go out @chaoticpete's new fic. Anyways here it is! If this gets enough likes I might do an avengers headcanon too.

Thanks to @angelsparkers for helping me realize I wasn't writing complete garbage and helping me to get through it even though she didn't even know she was doing that. So yeah thanks for that.

Peter

Crewmate: Peter is that crewmate that will 100% call you out on your bs, because he knows the game a little too well for you to be able to pull anything over him(because of all that free time waiting on patrol). You think all that stuff with the avengers didn't teach him strategy? Ha! This guy is PEAK detective. Gets his tasks done fast and when he's done is probably spending his time monitoring people on security or vitals. It only took him like 2 weeks to memorize all the maps and where everything is, so if you say you were in navigation, you better believe he's gonna ask you what task you were doing there. And if you don't answer to his liking, Peter will sound the "sus" alarm on you in two point five seconds and have everyone voting you out. He's probably the only person that could figure out MJ when she's the impostor. So if you're the impostor, watch your words and make sure your alibis are strong cuz little Petey ain't playin' no games. Definitely gets attacked from time to time by those people that are always like "sMaRt PpL rUiN tHe GaMe"

Impostor: He's pretty much the most average impostor. Sometimes he doesn't know what to say when people call him sus and he'll get voted out because he's being "too quiet" or because Ned keeps defending him. He'll mess up every now and then but for the most part, he's pretty decent. His style is usually to stay in the vents most of the game and kill when only one person's around. He probably bribes Ned to not rat him out by promising him that he won't kill him.

Name: It used to be just Peter, but soon he wanted an actual cool name so he chose Sherlock because of all the times when he was "too smart" and won the game too quickly and people would go "pack it up Sherlock" and vote him out.

Favorite color to be: It used to be red, but he quickly found that the more he was red the more people found him "sus" so now he's usually either blue or cyan

Ned

Crewmate: Pretty average crewmate. 80% of the time is covering for Peter, even if Peter is the impostor. Won't do much calling people out unless he's absolutely sure that he saw a kill or vent. Pretty chill and easily persuadable. You'd definitely want him on your team. If he ever gets wrongfully ejected he's the one that pitifully tries to plead his case saying stuff like "what???" and "guys it's not me!!!!" which doesn't really convince anyone and just makes him look more guilty. He'll still do his tasks after though.

Impostor: He's the impostor that doesn't want to be the impostor. If you're texting then maybe he can hold his own, but if you're doing voice chats, there's no way this guy is getting past ANYONE. He has so many tells that it's ridiculous. Is actually scared to vent too much because he's always paranoid that someone's gonna be right there when he jumps out. 8/10 the crewmates win when he's the imposter because he'll just kill like only two people the entire time or gets caught really early on.

Name: Probably some sci-fi reference like r2d2 or Potter

Favorite color to be: Yellow or white because he says those are the most "innocent" colors and he'll be less likely to get voted if he's those (not true but we'll let him believe it)

MJ

Crewmate: Suspicion times 100. Her motto: trust no one. Will get you kicked out in a heartbeat with a quick "trust me. if it's not them vote me next." An absolute unit but will never be caught getting emotional over a game. If she's ever wrongfully ejected her last words will be "whatever. go ahead. vote me and lose." She'll just come back in the next game with a vengeance and false accusations ready, not caring if the entire team loses because of it. She's especially dangerous to have because people usually trust her word. She always finds a way to seem the least suspicious. Though sometimes she'll get suspected because of her quiet nature. There's always that one guy that's ready to go "uR qUiEt ThAt'S sUs!!"

Impostor: If MJ is the impostor, you can just throw your whole phone away. You're not winning that game. Like, ever. She will do whatever it takes to win, even sell out her own her partner. On the off chance that you catch her being suspicious, she'll sabotage a bunch of things so that you can't call meetings and then she'll kill you when no one's around. She is ruthless and will hurt your feelings with the way that she will own everyone in the game. Hardly anyone ever expects her. Thrives on venting. You won't see her you'll just be doing a task and suddenly you'll be dead.

Name: Used to be just MJ but she got annoyed with all the people in the messages who always assumed she meant Michael Jackson or Michael Jordan so she changed it to Michelle

Favorite color to be: She literally doesn't care either way. Won't change the gameplay so why bother? Whatever color she ends up with she'll be fine.

Betty

Crewmate & Impostor: The most average player of them all. She wins some, she loses some. Nice partner to have though, because she'll never give you away. Probably the first to die most times. If she ever gets wrongfully ejected she's the one that uses her last words to say who she thinks it and doesn't even try to plead her case once it starts to look bad for her. She just finished the rest of her tasks.

Name: Probably either her name or some nickname or inside joke. Idk she just seems like the type of person to have a reference to something that absolutely nobody knows

Favorite color to be: Pink. Just because she likes pink.

Flash

Crewmate: Claims things are sus even if they aren't. Will totally be biased based on names. Anybody who knows him will never count him as a credible source. Gets voted out quickly alot because of how annoying he is in the game.

Impostor: He's the easiest to figure out. He's the impostor that obnoxiously accuses literally everyone else. And in all capital letters too. "ITS RED I STG. IF IT'S NOT HIM VOTE ME NEXT!" Calls everyone sus and always claims he's seen people running from the body. He usually self-reports and goes for the easy marks in electrical. He's not that good (even though he thinks he is) and it takes anyone with a brain to figure him out. Peter and MJ are bane of his existence in that game. If he gets wrongfully ejected he'll rage and probably leave the game like the little crybaby he is.

Name: Spideys#1 because he's really just THAT obsessed. Or when he's really feeling "teenage boy" he'll be cOchieman

Favorite color to be: Red because sPiDeRmAn'S hIs BeSt FrIeNd (ahahaha if only he knew)

May

She didn't know this game at all until Peter introduced her to it one day because he was bored. She LOVED it. He had to pry it out of her hands after she kept repeating "Hold on, one more!" So she downloaded on her phone and now she plays it whenever she's bored.

Crewmate: Average. Same as Betty.

Impostor: The way May can actually dominate being the impostor is sort of scary. And she'd always be the last person you'd expect because she just has that trusting vibe about her. Sometimes she'll mess up and give herself away, but for the most part, she's pretty good. Doesn't vent much. Just like Ned, she doesn't trust it.

Name: Madonna

Favorite color to be: She doesn't care much but she prefers to be purple, cyan, or orange

Funny Moment

《Peter calls an emergency meeting 10 seconds into the game》

- Michelle: what

- Betty: what

- Michelle: skip

- r2d2: bro already?

- Sherlock: okay everyone just listen

- k0chieman: bruh

- Michelle: okay listen to what

- Sherlock: flash what task are you doing

- Betty: alright were listening

- k0chieman: the divert thingy in navi

- r2d2: pete what is this

- Sherlock: yeah dude that diverty thingy is the second of two steps

- Sherlock: u never did the first

- Sherlock: which means ur an impostor faking

- Michelle: flash?

- k0chieman: no

- k0chieman: i did do it

- r2d2: the times low we gotta decide guys

- Sherlock: if you did it wouldve taken you 12-15 seconds to get there and were not that far in the game

- Sherlock: u cant already be doing it

- Sherlock: everybody vote flash

- r2d2: petes on x games mode

- Michelle: damn dude

- k0chieman: wtf parker

- Sherlock: bye dude

- Sherlock: worlds greatest detective strikes again

- Michelle: okay calm down pete

《couple seconds later》

. 　　　。　　　　•　 　ﾟ　　。 　　.

　　　.　　　 　　.　　　　　。　　 。　. 　

.　　 。　　　　　 ඞ 。 . 　　 • 　　　　•

　　ﾟ　　 Flash was An Impostor.　 。　.

　　'　　　 1 Impostor remains 　 　　。

　　ﾟ　　　.　　　. ,　　　　.　 .

Best Imposter Combos

Peter & Ned: Goes without saying. Nine times out of ten they're in the same room while playing this so they can just talk strategy to each other and take everyone out really quickly. Really annoying for everybody else, but they'll win so they're happy.

MJ & Peter: These two together are a force to be reckoned with. The second they see that they're both impostors they call each other up and get to business like they're on a mission. This stuff is serious. (More for Peter than MJ. She has to keep telling him that it's just a game.) He stays on security stuff, telling her when it's safe, and she racks up the kills. When things get heavy, they sabotage and then go on a spree. These two hardly ever lose. (When the whole squad is together whoever's in charge [if it's not Pete or MJ] usually puts the kill cooldown at max just in case these two get that they can't be at full power)

MJ & Betty: Betty isn't afraid to sacrifice herself so that they'll win and MJ is ruthless and quick with her kills. Both have the smarts to be able to be extremely persuasive and you'd hate for them to pick you to frame. Because being put against those two in the chatroom will lead you nowhere but abyss of space.

May & Peter: Parkers united. 'Nough said.

Tagging: @spideyyeet, @soft-petey, @spidey-reids-2003, @spidey-boy-89, @sovereignparker, @bubblebucky, @underoosjae

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[bijvoorbeeldja]

HERE SHE IS

The full enemies-to-lovers, “You’ve Got Mail” Sobbe AU, sprinkled with a few little surprises ***

I was NOT playin around when I said I was going to write ALL the fics during this quarantine y’all ain’t ready

Hope you enjoy! <3 I’d love to know what you think (even if you hate it)

……

Robbe’s phone buzzed on his nightstand.

earthlingoddity: good morning

He smiled into the screen, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

sterkerdanijzer: already awake?

earthlingoddity: yep

earthlingoddity: had some early morning inspiration

sterkerdanijzer: r u gonna let me see what you drew this time?

earthlingoddity: nope

earthlingoddity: against the rules

Robbe sighed, shaking his head.

Rolling out of bed, he contemplated what to type in response. This back-and-forth had been going on for months now, always coming back to this: the rules.

Clearly, they could text all they wanted. But that was it: just text. No voices, no photos showing their faces, locations, or anything else personal. Like drawings, for example. Nothing personal.

But really, everything they had been doing, all they had been talking about, felt personal to Robbe.

Screw the rules, Robbe thought. Even just through texts, he’d gotten closer to this person than anyone else in his life. Their conversations often started at dawn and spread throughout the day, lingering into the night until one of them fell asleep.

Of course, he’d agreed to the rules at the beginning. Hell, he’d made them. It was just talking, nothing else. But the more they talked, the more he wanted.

….

In a weird turn of events, Robbe had met Earthling in the comments of an Antwerp street art Tumblr, where teenagers flocked to share and comment on their latest masterpieces. Masked by alias handles, no one involved in the group knew the identities of the others. When they met up to tag at a location, everyone wore masks, hoodies, and dark clothes. Then they rehashed their work online, sharing photos and comments before planning their next meetup.

Robbe, using his disguised handle, had commented on a photo, when a stranger named earthlingoddity had commented back. Robbe had laughed and responded. The two passed banter back and forth before finally moving to DMs.

earthlingoddity: so you’re an artist, then the stranger had written him.

sterkerdanijzer: no, definitely not

sterkerdanijzer: I’m just in it for the vandalism

earthlingoddity: Hahahaha fair enough

earthlingoddity: u live in antwerp tho right?

sterkerdanijzer: pretty sure we’re not supposed to share details, STRANGER

earthlingoddity: ;-)

earthlingoddity: youre right. but i mean, we are talking now. and we’ve probably already seen each other

sterkerdanijzer: yeah maybe

earthlingoddity: I probably would have recognized a vandal tho…

sterkerdanijzer: not a chance. you’re probably one of those uppity art hoes who makes his masterpiece and doesn’t even acknowledge the little people

earthlingoddity: so you’re short then

sterkerdanijzer: enough! no personal details

Earthlingoddity: ok, so no names, no locations, no personal details. Any other rules?

sterkerdanijzer: uhm

sterkerdanijzer: no phone calls. And NO pics of your artwork. I might recognize it 

Earthlingoddity: so definitely no dick pics, then

Robbe had nearly choked at this. Even though their chatting had started as nearly nothing, it had rapidly become...something.  At least for Robbe. The past few weeks, their conversations had grown from occasional back-and-forths to constant communication, nearly-endless banter, and then...not-so-subtle flirting. Whatever was going on with this stranger, Robbe couldn’t bear to lose it. 

…..

Once he was finally ready for school that day, Robbe grabbed his skateboard and headed out to the street. Before mounting his board on the sidewalk, he opened his last chat with Earthling, trying to muster the courage to send him the message he’d been wanting to for days.

sterkerdanijzer: what if we said screw the rules….and met up? Like IRL?

Robbe’s fingers hovered over the keys, trying to gather the courage to hit send. It was stupid, he knew, but he was so terrified of scaring this stranger away. For reasons he didn’t fully understand yet, he needed him. Assuming it was, in fact, a him. I guess it was bold of him to assume Earthling was a boy. And gay. He took a breath and kicked off, starting to roll down the street. 

Then, out of nowhere, he was crashing, thrust back off his board and onto the ground as he collided with something. Or better, someone. 

Ugh, he groaned. Slowly rising up, he grabbed his phone and bag, which had been expelled violently from the impact. 

“What the hell, Robin?” the boy said, picking himself back up off the sidewalk where he’d fallen. “Why don’t you watch where you’re going?! Do you even know how to ride that thing?”

Brushing the dirt off his hands, he looked up, already feeling stiff aches form in his joints from the fall. Looking up, he groaned again.

Of course, it was Sander Driesen. He should have known immediately. No one else had the nerve to call him Robin.

Robbe rolled his eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t be meandering in the middle of the sidewalk,” he threw back. “Pick a side and stay out of the way of people who actually need to get somewhere.”

Sander scoffed, dusting himself off and grabbing his bag, rearranging the now-disorderly contents inside. “Right, I forgot. You’ll be late for class,” he said, the words dripping with disdain. “Ahh, to be young and only concerned with high school drama.” 

Oh, how Robbe hated Sander Driesen. 

Clad head-to-toe in black, with a noisy leather jacket, combat boots and a shock of (badly) bleached-blonde hair, he was a walking cliche. 

The two had grown up together, coexisting side by side in school and social circles. But the two could not be more different. Because of this, their relationship didn’t amount to much more than swapped insults in passing, tense confrontations, and merciless teasing. Now that Sander had graduated high school, their interactions were fewer. But for Robbe, that was still too often. 

“So tell me, O Wise One,” Robbe  shot back. “If you’re so above all of us children, why are you still dating Britt? She’s not too ‘high school drama’ for you?”

Sander grimaced. “I’m not with Britt,” he said, almost clenching his teeth.

“Right, whatever,” Robbe said, ready for this encounter to be way past over. “I don’t give a damn about your personal life. In fact, I don’t give a damn about anything involving you. I have to go.”

He turned to leave, realizing he skateboard was still on the ground, rolled out of his reach, an end tucked under the heel of Sander’s boot. He smirked at Robbe. 

“Oh, right. Your toy.” Sander rolled it back to Robbe, staring him down with an obnoxious smile. “See you around...Robin.”

Robbe grabbed his board and walked off in a huff, flipping Sander off as he passed. “Screw you, Sander.”

Rounding the corner, he stopped to steady his breathing. Why must his day be tainted with the influence of that fake blonde, edgy wannabe pyscho? Inhaling deep and taking advantage of his high tide of emotions, he pulled out his phone again, returning to his chat with Earthling. Do it, he told himself. Do it before you lose your nerve. Typing fast, he wrote:

Sterkerdanijzer: what if we said screw the rules….and met up? Like IRL?

He hit Send, waiting breathlessly.

Within seconds, three dots appeared. Earthling was typing.

……

The music was blaring, thumping against Robbe’s heartbeat. The crowd at the party was so thick that he was pressed up against Jens and Aaron, their combined heat making him slightly nauseous. 

But all he could focus on was the neon glow of the screen in front of him, and in his mind running over and over the words Earthling had texted him hours earlier: Earthlingoddity: probably not a good idea.

Robbe had stared at it again and again, feeling that same nosedive in his stomach as he had when he first got it that morning on the street. He didn’t want to meet Robbe. So all of it had been...nothing after all. Deep down he’d known that. It was just talking. But it still felt like rejection. How could he so intensely have misread their connection? Even virtually, Robbe had felt the magnitude of it. Or so he’d thought. 

All of this considered, he hadn’t been a very good wingman for his friends tonight. They’d dragged him to this party at Noor’s, scanning the room intently, looking for girls to pursue. Robbe just stood by, slumped and sipping lukewarm beer that just made his stomach turn.

Earthlingoddity: probably not a good idea he read again. Ugh. He was going to be torturing himself all night.

“Dude,” Jens elbowed him suddenly, or maybe just shifted, their proximity making it impossible to tell. “Dude, ten o’clock. That guy is totally checking you out.”

Robbe scoffed, not even bothering to look up. Gay guys at this party? He doubted it. 

“Seriously, Robbe,” Jens pushed again. “He’s definitely staring. And he’s actually pretty hot.” 

“Yep, totally,” Aaron agreed, nodding as he took a swig of his beer. “Definitely your type.”

“I don’t have a type,” Robbe sighed, finally tucking his phone back in his pocket and looking up. Shifting his gaze to his left, he looked in the direction the boys had indicated, trying to find a pair of eyes seeking his.

Whoa. Okay, so he was pretty hot.

Tall with messy brown hair, a boy with blue eyes was meeting his gaze. When the corners of the boy’s lips lifted in a smile, Robbe blushed, looking down. Now he looked desperate. Super.

“Go get another beer,” Jens said, shoving him forward. “See if he follows you. And act cool!”

“What? I—” Robbe protested, but the two were now pushing him together, forcing a parting of the crowd in front of them. 

Robbe swallowed, palms starting to sweat. He wove slowly through groups and couples dancing, making his way to the kitchen. Inside he sought out more drinks among the counter full of bottles and cups. It only took a few moments before he heard it.

“Hey,” the voice behind him said, deep and raspy. 

Robbe turned slowly, trying to swallow the dryness from his throat. The tall boy stood behind him, his beer dangling from two fingers. He leaned down to Robbe, putting his mouth close to his ear. 

“I’m Nathan,” he leaned back again to look Robbe in the eyes. 

“Uhm,” Robbe stammered. “I’m Rob-Robbe.”

“Hi, Robbe,” Nathan said, smiling. “Do you dance?” He took a step forward, dangerously close.

“Not if I can help it,” Robbe laughed nervously. The boy laughed too, revealing a set of perfectly white teeth and dimples. Robbe wiped a hand across his mouth, worried he was drooling now.

“Maybe another drink, then?” the boy asked. Robbe just nodded.

Nathan smiled and reached around to the counter, searching through the bottles. When he finally found an unopened one, he popped off the top easily, making Robbe’s stomach flip. So hot.  

Nathan handed it to Robbe, smiling. As Robbe took it, their fingertips brushed together. Robbe looked down, blushing. Then, again, the boy’s face was leaning down. They were cheek to cheek. 

“Want to get out of here?” he whispered, sending a wave of goosebumps down Robbe’s arm and spine. With a small nod, Nathan grabbed Robbe’s hand, leading him through the crowd.

…..

Outside, the air was much cooler, and Robbe felt like he could breathe again. The music blared from the door of the apartment building onto the street, but now it was just a dull throb instead of a deafening pulse.

Deep inhales of the outside air made his head feel lighter, his thoughts clearer...that is, until Nathan would brush his arm. Then he felt fuzzy again. With one arm leaning against the brick of the building, the other was casually touching Robbe’s every few minutes and Robbe could feel his knees going weak.

They had been talking for almost forty-five minutes and Robbe forgot how nice it was to talk intimately with someone he could actually be face to face with. Why had he even been bothering with Earthling? Clearly, that was going nowhere. Nathan, on the other hand, had potential. He was interesting, asking Robbe about his life and sharing details about his own. They talked easily, their touches getting progressively more frequent. Then, Nathan went silent, his gaze flicking down to Robbe’s lips. Robbe’s stomach was fluttering, licking his lips in anticipation. Nathan was leaning in, the hand against the brick sliding down to Robbe’s waist….

“Well, well well,” a loud voice behind him announced, breaking violently through their moment, causing the two to pull apart quickly. “If it isn’t my pal, Robin!” 

Sander Driesen, in dark jeans and a white t-shirt, appeared next to Robbe, followed by Britt in tow. He looked from Robbe to Nathan, smiling widely. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Robbe muttered under his breath. Nathan looked confused, glancing from Robbe to the bleached-blonde boy.

“Robin?” he asked, biting his lip in bewilderment.

“Ignore him,” Robbe said, grabbing his shoulder. “C’mon.” 

“Aren’t you going to introduce me, Robin?” Sander replied, cocking his head and raising his eyebrows at Robbe. 

Robbe groaned. “Seriously, Sander,” he said, “Not now.”

“Oh, c’mon, buddy,” he gave Robbe’s shoulder a soft punch. “Introduce me to your friend,” the last work thick with implication.

Robbe rolled his eyes as Sander stuck a hand out to Nathan, who took it with a polite smile.

“I’m Sander,” the boy said. “Robbe and I….well, let’s just say we have a looooong history.”

Robbe glared at Sander. “We’re going now.”

As he was leading Nathan back down the street, Sander called out again, louder.

“We didn’t mean to interrupt the moment, love birds,” he said, smirking. “Carry on!” With a chuckle, Sander threw an arm around Britt’s waist and walked into the apartment.

A few feet down the sidewalk Nathan turned to Robbe. “Who was that?

“Nobody,” Robbe answered quickly, trying to turn the conversation anywhere but on Sander. 

“It didn’t seem like nobody,” Nathan said quietly, rubbing a hand through his hair.  “Is he...an old boyfriend, or something?”

“What?!” Robbe near-shouted, stopping to look right at Nathan. “No. No. Not even close. He drives me crazy.”

Nathan bit his lip. “Look, Robbe. I should probably get going.”

“What?” Robbe said, his face dropping. “Because of him? You can’t be serious—”

“I was probably moving too quickly,” Nathan said slowly. “I’m sorry.” He gave Robbe a quick kiss on the cheek and walked away, turning the corner out of view. 

…..

Robbe didn’t care who was spilling drinks or getting their feet stepped on. Plowing through the crowd with his elbows, he found his way into the party and back to Jens and Aaron, who were in the middle of telling a story to two girls bearing plastic cups and bored expressions.

“Uhm, hey guys?” Robbe said, tapping Jens on the shoulder. “I’m going to take off.” Jens turned, quickly motioning a be right back to the girls, who nodded vaguely. 

“Wait, what happened with the guy?’ Jens asked eagerly. “Are you going to his place?”

Robbe frowned. “No. It didn’t exactly...work out.”

“Sorry, man,” Aaron said, slapping Robbe’s shoulder. “Want us to come with?”

Robbe shook his head. “Nah, you guys stay. I’m going to call it a night anyway.”

Finishing his goodbyes, Robbe ditched his bottle and stepped back out in the night air, now considerably cooler. Finding his bike, he started unlocking the lock when a voice behind him again shook him out of his thoughts.

“Headed home already?” Sander. Again.

Robbe whipped around on him, finding him alone this time. 

“Seriously, Sander? Can you please just leave me alone?” Robbe said, almost whining now. “You already managed to ruin this night for me once.”

This sobered Sander a little, who swallowed and took a step forward.

“Robbe, I—”

“No, I mean it, Sander. Go back to Britt, who’s apparently not your ‘girlfriend,’” Robbe did air quotes, making Sander clench his teeth again, “and leave me the hell alone.”

There was silence for a moment before Sander spoke.

“I’m sorry, Robbe.”  

Robbe shook his head and turned back to his bike lock.

“I was doing you a favor, okay?” Sander spoke, his voice insistent. “That guy seemed like a real douche.” Robbe scoffed. Seriously? 

“I mean, did you see his hair?” Sander continued. “Total poser.”

Robbe laughed to himself. “Yeah, like you’re one to talk,” he mumbled back at Sander.

Sander smiled at this. “Touche.” 

Robbe had his bike unlocked now and he started to wheel it down the street. 

“See you around, Robbe.” Sander called out.

“Yeah, don’t count on it,” Robbe replied.

As he mounted his bike, his phone vibrated. A message.

Earthlingoddity: You know what, forget what I said. Screw the rules. Let’s meet. When? Where?

………

Robbe didn’t respond to Earthling’s message for several days. When he did, he wanted to come off cool, casual. He drafted and redrafted the same message in a hundred different ways. Finally, he sent back:

Sterkerdanijzer: Yeah, okay. I guess we can. I can do Friday at 18h. Drinks at Jardim Antwerpen?

He got a reply almost immediately.

Earthlingoddity: Absolutely. I’ll be there. Without a mask ;-) 

So there he was, sitting at a table watching the sun go down, turning a near-empty glass in his hands over and over again in his hands. Even with the condensation from the glass, Robbe’s palms were clammy. He was so nervous he had to occasionally reach down to calm his shaking legs. 

Milan had helped him pick out an outfit, a white linen button up and jeans. Zoe had mussed his hair until she insisted it was “perfect.” But he just felt ridiculous. Why was he even doing this? If he’d learned anything from the past few weeks, it was that he knew nothing. And he was probably going to be single forever. And for all he knew, Earthling would turn out to be a serial killer. 

At 18h15, Robbe started to get antsy. He messaged the boy:

Sterkerdanijzer: I’m here. White shirt, brown hair. U close?

But he got no response. He bit his lip anxiously, checking his phone constantly. At 18h45, after he had downed one more drink than he should have, he got up. Leaving a tip on the table, he shoved his phone in his pocket and headed to leave. This was a ridiculous idea, he scolded himself. So stupid. Of course he wouldn’t show.

As he neared the exit, he saw a flash of white in his peripheral. Turning, he saw a boy sitting at a table alone, phone in his hand. Sander.

As if he’d spoken his name out loud, Sander looked up, green eyes glowing. He smirked. “Small world,” he called out to Robbe. “What are you doing here?”

Robbe glared at him. “None of your business. What are you doing here?”

Sander just looked at him for a minute. “I’m, uh...waiting for Britt. She’s supposed to be here soon. Were you waiting for a date?” His knowing smile made Robbe’s insides twist. 

“Right,” Robbe said, nodding. “Well, I’m going to…” he turned again to leave.

“Uhm, actually, Robbe?” he called out. Robbe turned back slightly. What was he going to say now?

“Do you think I could borrow your phone to text Britt? Mine is dead.”

Robbe hesitated. Gone from Sander’s tone was any hint of teasing. He sounded genuine. He sounded desperate, almost. 

“Yeah, fine,” Robbe seceded, walking over to Sander’s table and handing over his phone. 

“Thanks,” Sander said, giving Robbe a small smile as he met his gaze. 

Robbe stood there as Sander typed, concentrating hard on the screen. Waiting, he glanced around again. No sign of anybody new. No sign of anybody looking for him. He was so stupid. 

“So, were you supposed to meet Nathan here?” Sander asked, not looking up as he continued to type.

“Why do you care?” Robbe asked.

Sander looked up. “I’m just making conversation. I hope it wasn’t him, though. You could do better.”

Robbe scoffed. “Okay, thanks for the tip, Sander.” He turned away again. ‘Cause Sander cared SO much about him. Right.

Then Sander stood, downing the rest of his drink. “Look like she’s not coming.” But as he handed Robbe back his phone, he didn’t look sad. He was smiling. Walking toward the exit, he turned back toward Robbe. 

“You coming?” Sander asked.

“What, me?” Robbe asked incredulously.

“Uh, yeah you, Robin,” Sander laughed. “Let’s go.” Walking away again, Robbe stood there, mouth open. 

“Come!” Sander’s voice reached Robbe again. He was probably too drunk to think straight because next thing he knew, he was following Sander’s silhouette into the sunset. 

…..

“Sander, you cannot be serious,” Robbe stood obstinately away from the door, shaking his head at the boy, who was jiggling with the lock on a door, labeled boldly with a “No Trespassing” sign. “I assumed your plans were more drinks, not jail.”

Sander kept his hands on the door handle, but turned to face Robbe, a teasing grin on his face.

“Would you chill? We’re not getting arrested. I’ve done this a hundred times.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that makes me feel better,” Robbe retorted. 

Sander just laughed and continued jiggling until click. The door squeaked open. He turned and raised his eyebrows at Robbe. “Come.”

Robbe shook his head again. He could not believe this. Not only was Sander trying to ruin his social life, he was trying to get him arrested. But Sander had disappeared behind the door, and finally, reluctantly, Robbe followed behind him.

Illuminating the stairs inside with the light on his phone, Sander led Robbe to the top, where he held his hands out in a ta-da! motion, so clearly pleased with this reveal. 

Reaching the top and taking in the scene, Robbe’s jaw dropped. A large, open-air pool laid out before him, neon blue water rippling with the cold wind.

“No,” Robbe started, his voice escalating. “Sander, no. We are not—”

But Sander was starting to shrug out of his jacket, then reaching down to undo the laces of his boots. 

“C’mon,” he whisper-yelled. “We’re doing this!”

“You’re insane!” Robbe yelled. “There’s no way I’m getting in that pool. We will die!”

Sander laughed as he lifted his shirt over his head. “We will not die, Robbe. Just come!”  

Robbe just stood there in disbelief as Sander kept shedding clothes, not stopping at his briefs. In a blink of an eye, he was completely naked and running towards the pool, jumping in with a yelp.

Robbe’s jaw dropped. Sander was actually insane. And was his skin always that golden? And did he have abs?

Emerging from the water with a screech, Sander called out again. 

“Robbe, come! It’s amazing in here!”

“No,” Robbe said defiantly. “No way.”

“You’re missing out, Robin,” he called out to him in a sing-song voice.

Robbe shook his head. “It’s freezing cold!”

“Yeah, it’s freezing cold,” Sander said. “But you have to do it. Get in! Now!”

Treading water, the light from the pool making his blonde hair glow neon, Sander waited for him, smiling.

Before he could think, Robbe started unbuttoning his shirt, dropping it on the concrete. Stepping out of his jeans, he watched Sander’s eyes roam across his bare chest. He swallowed hard.

Down to his underwear, Robbe started toward the pool, berating himself for giving into the demands of a pretentious — but weirdly captivating — boy. 

Okay, that was clearly the alcohol talking, he thought, shaking the idea from his head. 

“Hey, hey!” Sander yelled, stopping Robbe in his tracks. “All the way or no way.”

Robbe balked at him. Was he serious? He exhaled, biting his lip. Reaching down, he stripped off his underwear, now completely bare in front of Sander Driesen. He was going to regret this. But for now, he jumped into the pool.

He had been right. It was freezing. Easily the coldest water he’d ever felt. When his head exited the water, he yelped. 

“Oh. My. God.” he squealed, teeth chattering. “I am going to kill you, Sander!” He splashed around violently, trying to keep his limbs from going numb. 

“Dude, can you even swim?” Sander yelled, laughing.

Robbe splashed water Sander’s way. “Are you kidding? I can swim better than you any day!”

“Was that a challenge?” Sander quipped, circling around Robbe. 

“Well, yeah, I think it was!” Robbe answered. “You scared Driesen?” 

Sander smiled at him. “You’re on, Robin! First one to that opposite side of the pool wins! On three!”

“One….” Robbe started.

“Two….” Sander echoed.

“Three!” They yelled in unison, taking off for the pool’s edge. 

Robbe stroked, gasping deeply as he tried to find his stride. He was not going to let Sander beat him, no matter how drunk he was.

But when he reached the ledge, cheering in victory, he couldn’t see Sander. He wiped the water from his eyes, and looked beneath the water for Sander. He couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Sander?” He called out. “I totally kicked your ass!”

Still, nothing. Now, Robbe was starting to panic.

“Sander?!” His yelled, desperation creeping into his voice. He was about to call out again when Sander popped out of the water directly in front of him, so close, stealing Robbe’s breath and pinning him against the ledge.

“Sander, what the hell? What are you—” Robbe started, but before he could finish, Sander grasped the ledge behind Robbe, covering his body with his. Robbe felt Sander’s chest rise and fall against his as he tried to catch his breath.

“You won, Robin,” Sander spoke deeply. 

Then, he was kissing Robbe, keeping one hand on the ledge, the other sliding down to Robbe’s waist, holding him in place. Sander’s hand was firm, making Robbe melt beneath him. Robbe reached back a hand to hold himself to the ledge and the other found the nape of Sander’s neck. Using his fingers, he pulled Sander towards him, then let those fingers tangle themselves in Sander’s hair. Feeling his pull, Sander kissed Robbe deeper, grasping at any part of Robbe’s mouth he could find, sliding down to his jaw and his neck, sucking the skin there. Whining, Robbe’s eyes rolled back. Sander found lips again, tugging on them gently. Robbe licked the soft skin of Sander’s lips and heard a gentle moan escape the boy’s throat. It was happening so fast. Their limbs and breath were tangling, mixing together in explosive energy that made them both weak. 

He was kissing Sander Driesen. He was kissing Sander Driesen. When these words came together and made sense in his mind, he startled, shoving Sander off of him. 

“What are we doing?” Robbe spoke, trying to catch his breath. “What are we doing?! This isn’t….we’re, we’re drunk!” His voice was rising, filling with disbelief and exasperation.

“Robbe, I—” Sander said, water dripping off his golden skin, tempting Robbe more than he wanted to admit. He approached Robbe again slowly. 

“No, no,” Robbe said, reaching for the ledge and hefting himself out of the water. “This was a huge mistake. I’m drunk. We’re drunk. We shouldn’t have—”

“Robbe, wait!” Sander called, swimming towards the ledge and following Robbe out.

Robbe ran and gathered his clothes. “I have to go, Sander. Let me go.” 

Sander stopped, a look of confusion and hurt painting his face. “Robbe, don’t….”

Robbe spun on him, his voice rising. “Don’t follow me, Sander. And don’t you dare tell anyone about this. Swear it.”  

Sander just looked at him, lifting up his hands in submission. “I’m sorry, I swear I won’t—”     

Then Robbe ran down the stairs, struggling to pull his clothes on over his soaking-wet body as he left Sander behind him.

……

Robbe had hoped that when he woke up, the whole night would have been a dream. A ridiculous dream that would have made him blush...and probably need to take a cold shower. But still, a dream. A dream he could forget about. But the pile of wet clothes on the floor and phone full of messages from Sander proved otherwise. He groaned, aching from the memory and the hangover. 

His phone vibrated again and exasperated, he turned to silence it when he saw it — a message not from Sander, but from Earthling. 

Earthlingoddity: Hey….I know that there is probably nothing I can say to you right now that will make up for what I did last night. I didn’t mean to stand you up. I promise. Something just...came up and I couldn’t make it. I promise it wasn’t you, okay. Please, please forgive me? 

Robbe just stared at the message. As he did, another message from Sander came. 

Sander: Robbe, please answer me. I’m sorry about last night. Can we please talk, face-to-face?

Robbe rubbed his face. What was he going to say to either of these people? Why was everything such a mess?

Kissing Sander last night...that had been the biggest shock to his system. Sander hated him. He hated Sander. That was their relationship. But in an ice-cold pool they’d entered some alternate universe and crossed a line. They were drunk. That was it. Right?

Robbe went back to the message from Earthling. Typing slowly, he sent:

Sterkerdanijzer: you were right. We should have never agreed to meet.

He got a response back almost immediately.

Earthlingoddity: No! No, it wasn’t a mistake. We should meet. I promise, something just came up that I couldn’t say no to. I want to meet you so bad. Please, can you give me another chance? I’ll do anything.

Robbe closed the message. Not now.

Taking another deep breath, he opened Sander’s message. 

Robbe: Fine, we can talk. Come to my house in an hour.

Sander: I’ll be there. 

……

After Robbe had showered and straightened up his room, he took a deep breath. He had no idea how he was going to survive this interaction with Sander, after all that had happened between them. They’d kissed. ALOT. They’d been naked, for heaven’s sake. Robbe groaned, flopping back down on his bed. What was happening to him? The world was turning upside down.

With that, there was a knock on the door. He could hear Jens shuffling to get it, but he raced to the door, sliding past Jens. 

“I got it, I got it.” 

Jens just looked at him, yawning. “What the hell?”

“It’s...it’s uhm...for me. I’ll get it.”

Jens stared blankly. “You’re being weird.” But he just went off towards the kitchen, yawning again.

Taking a breath, Robbe opened the door. 

Sander stood there, his hair also wet, clearly brushed into submission. He had on a cream-colored sweater, which shocked Robbe. He looked good. 

“Robbe. Hey.” He smiled, taking a deep breath.

Robbe just stood there, unsure of what to say.

Sander smiled again. “Soooo….can I come in or….?”

“Oh, right. Yeah, come in.” Robbe opened the door wider so Sander could enter. 

Glancing towards the kitchen, where Jens was making coffee, glasses clinking, he motioned to the hallway. 

“Let’s go to my room and talk,” Robbe spoke quietly.

“Sure, yeah,” Sander nodded. “Lead the way.”

Robbe walked hesitantly toward his room, opening the door for Sander. He entered, looking around. 

“Nice place,” he commented, looking at Robbe with a wink. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Robbe smiled, feeling flushed all of the sudden.

Sander went and sat on the edge of the bed. Robbe followed.

Sander cleared his throat. “So, I know what happened last night surprised you. I know it surprised me.” He smiled to himself. “I just wanted to say that….I’m not sorry.”

“What?” Robbe looked up at him, confused.

Sander was firm, sure. “I said, I’m not sorry. For what happened. For kissing you.”

“You’re….not sorry….” Robbe repeated slowly, trying to understand.

“I wanted to kiss you and I did. And I don’t regret it. I know we were drunk, but I think you wanted to kiss me, too.”

Robbe felt heat rise to his cheeks. He spoke quietly. “Sander…it doesn’t make sense. We don’t make sense. At all. We are at each other’s throats constantly.”

“So what?” Sander asked, laughing. “Maybe what we thought was hate was just passion.”

“Passion?” Robbe choked. “Passion? We can’t stand each other! We drive each other completely crazy!”

“Well,” Sander began, biting his lip. “That, I guess, is true. You do drive me crazy. But not for the reasons you think.”

What? 

“Sander, what are you—” but Robbe stopped as Sander turned towards him, sliding a hand to cup his jaw. 

“You do drive me completely insane, Robbe,” he said gently. “But in a way I want to feel all the time. That kiss was….” he put his hands together over his head, imitating a mind-blown gesture, “pppppffffffeeeewww.”

Robbe’s lips were curling up in a smile he couldn’t hide. He felt warm. But something nagged at him.

“Sander, I can’t do this,” he admitted quickly, before he could stop himself. “I know this sounds silly and stupid, but….there’s someone else.”

Sander sat back. “Who, Nathan?”

Robbe shook his head. “No, not Nathan. You ruined that one, remember?” He slugged Sander’s arm.

“No, it’s….” Robbe put his head down, embarrassed. “It’s someone I don’t even actually know.” He covered his face in his hands. “I know, it’s so stupid. But I think I really care about this person.”

To Robbe’s surprise, Sander didn’t laugh. Or come up with some stupid insult. Or even seem surprised by his revelation at all. 

“Okay,” he began. “So, who is he? Where did you meet him?” 

“Well,” Robbe said, blushing again. “We met online. On a stupid street art blog. We talk through DMs all day, everyday. Yesterday, when we ran into each other, I was waiting for him. We were supposed to meet each other for the first time in person. But….he stood me up.”

“Hmmm,” Sander sounded. “Sounds like a real asshole.”

Robbe laughed. “He’s not, though! Sure, I was devastated that he ditched me...and then, we kissed...and, everything is just a mess.” He fell back on the bed again, hands over his face.

Sander was silent for a minute. “So did he apologize? For last night?”

Robbe sat up slightly. “Well, yeah. He messaged me again saying he was sorry, and that it wasn’t me.”

“So?” Sander asked, probing for more. 

“So what?” Robbe asked.

“So, what are you going to say? Are you going to forgive him?” Sander asked.

“Well...I don’t know,” Robbe admitted. “I want to. You’re going to insult me mercilessly for the rest of time for saying this, but...I think Earthling is my soulmate.”

Sander grinned. “I’m sorry, who?”

Robbe laughed, embarrassed again. 

“Earthlingoddity, it’s his handle. I just call him Earthling.”

Sander looked down at his lap, biting his lip to hide a grin.

“I knew you would make fun of me!” Robbe shoved Sander. “I knew it!”

“No!” Sander held his hands up innocently. “I’m not making fun of you! I think it’s cute. I mean, it’s a Bowie reference, he’s obviously got good taste.”

Robbe smiled. “Yeah, he does,” he said.

“So,” Sander continued. “If you think this guy is your soulmate, I think you should talk to him. Give him another chance.”

“What should I say?” Robbe asked. “Do I ask him to meet up again?”

Sander thought for a minute. “I think you need to give him an ultimatum. His last chance.”

“An ultimatum?” Robbe asked.

“Yep.” Sander said, scooting to sit cross-legged on the bed. “Take out your phone.”

“What, now?” Robbe asked incredulously. 

“Yes, now!” Sander said firmly. “C’mon. Get your phone.”

Robbe shook his head. Of course, his rival, the guy he’d made out with last night, was now helping him attempt to snag a man. He officially understood nothing.

Taking out his phone, he pulled up Earthling’s message. 

“So what do I say?” He looked at Sander.

“Just say….” Sander began, looking off in thought. “You hurt me yesterday. This is your one chance to make it up to me. Meet me tonight or we’re done with this. No more talking, no more messages. This is it. Your last chance” Damn. Looking at Sander once more, he typed it out. Taking a deep breath, he hit Send.

“Oh no, oh no, I sent it. What now. What if he doesn’t answer? What if he thinks I’m desperate?” Robbe rattled off, starting to hyperventilate.

Then, Sander’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out. 

“Sorry, hold on a sec,” he said. “I gotta respond to this.”

“Sander!” Robbe whined. “Focus! I need you! If he responds, you have to help me!”

“Don’t worry. Robin,” Sander said with a smirk. “He will. And I will.”

Sander typed quickly, then put his phone back down on the bed. He was hiding another smirk.

Robbe glared at him. “Sander! Are you texting Britt right now? Should I remind you that we’re focusing on me right now? Or should I remind you that you kissed me last night? What is wrong with you?!”

Sander shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t texting Britt, Robbe, calm down.” 

But Robbe ignored this as his phone buzzed again.

“Oh my god, okay, it’s him,” he cleared his throat. “This is what he said.” 

Now, Sander was laughing. Loudly. 

“Sander!” Robbe whined again.

Sander tried to stifle a laugh with his palm. “Okay,” he tried to turn the laugh into a cough. “Right, I’m focused. Well, what did he say?”

Robbe swiped and opened the message.

“He said...I choose you, Robin. Always, one hundred percent, forever.”

Robbe’s phone fell in his lap as he looked up at Sander. 

“Sander…..what kind of joke are you—”

Sander just shook his head and grinned. “Don’t call me, Sander. From now on, you have to call me Earthling.”   

Then, Sander was crawling over to Robbe, pushing him back down on the bed.

Hovering over him, he spoke gently. 

“When I saw you with Nathan at the party last week, I got jealous. You looked so hot and I knew I was starting to want you. It scared me. I knew you hated me. But I did. I wanted you. Trust me, Britt and I aren’t together. I just wanted to make you jealous. And that obviously backfired,” he said, laughing.

He continued to Robbe’s breathless stare. “Then I found out it was you I had been messaging when I borrowed your phone at the bar yesterday,” he said. “I saw the messages I’d sent you as Earthling. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe Robin was the boy I’d been talking to. The boy I’d been falling in love with, online and in real life. I was going to tell you right there, but you were so mad at me and so cute and I couldn’t resist trying to see if I could get you to fall in love with me, too. As Sander. And after that kiss, I knew what we had was real. Whether over text or in a freezing cold pool, it was real.”

Robbe blinked in disbelief. Was he really hearing this? It wasn’t some colossal joke Sander was playing on him? 

“Sander….” he said carefully. “Is that true? Is that really—” but before he could finish, Sander was kissing him again, winding a hand into his hair, immersing him completely, deeply into him.

It was true. 

.....

So, telling their friends about their relationship had been interesting. 

First, Jen had walked in on them, sloshing coffee all over himself when he saw Sander pulling off Robbe’s shirt. That had been a hard one to explain.

But the weirdest part was that no one had really seemed surprised. Sure, Jens was taken back initially, but as they sat in the kitchen sharing coffee (after Robbe had reclaimed his shirt and gotten dressed), Robbe sitting on Sander’s lap, Jens had smiled at them like a proud dad. 

You’re like yin and yang, he’d said. Somehow you two just fit.

And they did. In so many ways. Their minds, their souls, their bodies...

They just fit. 

[blissfulalchemist]

"Why... why did you just take off your shirt?" + "Does my being half-naked bother you?" for Victorious Secret

Thank you for this Kate! Here’s more of their new canon!

Fourteen days. That’s how many days in a row Wes had seen Chance, including weekends, from exactly six in the evening until nine at night, except on Fridays when Chance had a lab night and they met for some dinner in the dorm hall from five to seven thirty. Wes didn’t mind, even if it was late on the weekends, good parties didn’t start till ten anyway, he got to be with him and get to know him, well, as much as one can in between research for their project. It was Saturday with the only difference being that for once they started earlier in the day, the deadline a week away. Chance’s nerves must have been starting to get to him as the two were in his dorm instead of the library, their textbooks and notebooks sprawled across the floor with no care as Chance didn’t have to share his room for the next week. 

Wes felt himself start to nod off as the words became blurry and lost their meaning the more he looked at the textbook trying to annotate it to Chance’s standards. They had been going at this for almost four hours straight. Wes rubbed his eyes looking up to Chance as he sat in the cloth chair next to the desk, his feet propped on the ladder of the raised bed, eyes glued to the supplemental book on Jar Head’s approved list. Wes stared at him, noticing the way Chance’s mess of curls were starting to fall into his eyes as he shifted sliding down farther off the chair, Wes felt tempted to brush his brown hair out of his eyes, make life easier for his friend, It looks like it could be really soft. Chance blinked a few times before looking over to Wes, his green eyes sparkling in the last bit of sun filtering in, “You getting lost?”

In your eyes, “No,” he said, looking back down finally realizing he hadn’t turned the page in almost thirty minutes. Time to give up, Wes thought as he adjusted himself on the futon sofa below the roommate’s bed. 

Chance looked around the room frowning, “Have we been sitting in complete silence for the last,” he glanced over at Wes, “What time is it?”

“Almost four.”

Chance’s eyes widened, “Four hours?! We’ve been sitting in silence for four hours,” he groaned leaning back covering his face with the book. “No wonder I’ve been staring at this page for at least thirty minutes,” his voice muffled by the book. 

Wes couldn’t help but notice the way Chance’s shirt pulled up his body exposing a sliver of his abdomen, “Break time?”

“Damn right,” Chance said, tossing the book on the built in desk, rubbing his tired eyes, “Should we get dinner?” He looked out the window behind him, watching as the big snowflakes started to fall, “Dorm food or order in?”

“Not hungry,” Wes said, stretching out his muscles. 

“Dude, I haven’t eaten all day so you haven’t eaten all day,” Chance pointed out, “Here toss me my phone.” Wes picked up the red and black phone in its case flinging it his way, almost hitting Chance in the eye, Oops. “Careful,” Chance opened the phone scrolling through the places that delivered to the dorms and weren’t that far away, “You ever had Pita Pit? Never mind don’t answer that. You probably haven't,” Wes gave a small shrug, Chance wasn’t wrong. He placed his order pushing his hair back, “You want me to pick for you or do you want to scroll through the menu?”

Wes held out his hand, “I’ll do it.”

Chance handed it over standing up, reaching his hands up to the ceiling, distracting Wes as he watched taking in Chance’s lean muscle that he could see as his shirt raised up. Wes quickly looked down to the phone quickly picking something that looked good, “Get a breakfast one too,” Wes looked up through his lashes, at Chance as he pointed out the window with his thumb, “In case the snow gets bad and you gotta stay here for the night.”

“Oh,” Wes looked back and just ordered whatever Chance had ordered, “That why we came here?”

He nodded, “Yeah. Here all day cause of the deadline, Seed hates us, and lastly, perfect timing that my roommate went ice climbing with his family.” Chance took the phone back placing the order, “What should we do while we wait? We can play games, power nap, or watch a show.”

Power nap, “Whatever you think best,” Only one useable bed. 

Chance rubbed the back of his neck moving to sit with Wes, “Maybe some games while we wait,” he said grabbing the controllers, “Might fall asleep and miss the food with the other options.”

“Can we nap after,” Wes asked.

“Yeah,” Chance patted Wes’ shoulder, “Sure big guy. We can nap after we eat, you’re not leaving until nine anyway,” Wes gave him a smirk, “Unless the weather gets bad.”

“Right,” Wes agreed, his mind saying silent prayers for blizzard-like conditions. 

Chance handed over the controller, “You fine with fighting games, or do you want to play something like Halo?”

“Uhm,” Wes hadn’t really played any video games, sure he watched when his two roommates played against each other but he never joined in. “Fighting….games?”

Chance was turning the console on getting ready to sift through the digital library, “Sure. I got Mortal Kombat, Blazeblue, Injustice one and two, Marvel vs Capcom three, uh, let’s see what else,” Chance leaned forward looking at the squares on the screen.

“Whatever’s easiest to play,” Chance looked up to him, his green eyes curious, Wes gave a shrug looking away, “Never played.”

“Huh,” Chance leaned back clicking on a game that Wes didn’t catch, “Thought you would have.”

“Why’d you say that?”

He gave a shrug, “Cause of your roommate, the short one.”

“They’re both short,” Wes retorted.

Chance gave a laugh, “Fair. Everyone’s gotta be short to you, except maybe me on a good day.” Chance turned the tv volume down, the sound loud enough to trigger a small headache, “The not so hot one. She dresses in flowers.” Wes knew which one he was talking about now, “Anyway I remember seeing her at the game store, she kicked some ass during the Injustice tournament, thought you’d have played against her at home.”

Wes shook his head, “No. Wren plays with her though.”

Chance gave a sly smirk, “Plays with her or plays with her?” Chance laughed getting a small shove from Wes, “Joking jeez, but Wren though, that’s her name. Pretty,” Chance said her name once more giving a small nod, “More serious note, are they together? Are you all together, like some kind of poly thing.” Wes gave him an exasperated glare, this wasn’t the first nor the last time Wes had been asked this, Chance held his hands up, “No judgement here, just curious is all.” Chance snapped his fingers to point at Wes, “If it is though, you’re one lucky guy, get to go home to them every night, livin’ every guy’s dream.” Chance turned back to the tv the game starting up. 

Wes hesitated in answering, he could easily lie and say that Wren was taken, stop Chance from ever trying to hit on her. Then again, “No. To all of it.”

Chance gave a slow nod, “Nice.” Wes knew Wren wasn’t that into guys like Chance, but if he believed it then maybe he’d come around more. Chance’s phone lit up as he got the beginner settings set up with Wes’ controller. It was a text message from someone saved as 413, asking if he’d come down and help keep them warm with the incoming snow tonight. It was cheesy and Wes noticed there were a few other messages like that on his phone, some with names more cryptic than the others.

“You’re popular,” Wes commented, Chance glancing down at his phone rolling his eyes.

“Gotta block ‘er,” he shook his head, “Texts me twice a week at least. Don’t want to hook up with her again ‘nd she can’t take the hint apparently.” 

“Whatta ‘bout the others?”

Chance handed the controller back over to Wes, “What about them?” Wes took the controller, “You’re here, don’t have time for them.”

Them, he keeps saying them, Wes turned the words over and over as Chance explained the game, Was it possible that Chance was bi. Could I actually have a shot at this? By the time they started playing Wes forgot all the basics that Chance had just explained, hitting whatever buttons he felt would do something. It wasn’t lost on Wes that Chance held back letting him get a feel for the game and it’s mechanics, which just meant that Wes was able to become semi-competent in the team Chance helped him pick out. 

“Alright now the real competition begins, button masher,” Chance said as he picked a new team for himself. 

An idea came to mind, Wes unable to stop his mouth from holding it back, “We play like strip poker?”

Chance didn’t even look Wes’ way, “Yeah, sure man. Whatever you want.” Wes gave a small, sly smile before turning to the screen. The fight itself didn’t last very long even with the second round that Chance started to really determine a winner, then again it didn’t help that Wes only learned one move for each character he could successfully repeat to do more than just basic punching and kicking. Chance threw his hands up in victory as Wes set his controller down in his lap, pulling his shirt over his head. Chance did a double take, “Why-Why did you just take off your shirt?”

“We’re playin’ strip fight,” Wes felt his heart race, “like strip poker.”

The slightest bit of red started to creep up Chance’s neck, “Uh. Oh, well, I thought you were asking to play Street Fighter after this.”

Wes swallowed, sifting for another excuse to want to pull off the impulsive idea, “It’also kinda hot in ‘ere.” He heard Chance hum a tune Wes didn’t recognize, “Sorry.”

Chance shook his head, his eyes looking over Wes’ bare chest briefly, “It’s fine,” Chance felt the blood make its way up his neck higher towards his cheeks. 

Wes felt himself at an impasse as to what his next move to be, after seeing the brief, very brief, running of Chance’s eyes on his body. The blush was hard to make out of it being from being uncomfortable or from some form of attraction. On the one hand he could keep up the temperature lie, see if Chance would look at him again, or just put the shirt back on and hope he didn’t just screw things up. “Does it bother ya? Bein’ half-naked ‘nd all.”

Chance blinked a few times, “Well, no, if it’s too hot in here for you. Hard to control the temperature in here,” he stammered, heart racing and ignoring the pull in his abdomen. “So if you want to you can stay as you are. Shouldn’t care too much anyway cause it’s just toxic masculinity and all that.” Chance needed to shut up, he looked for a change in subject as he rubbed the back of his neck, his cell phone ringing. He let out a breath of relief as he recognized the delivery driver’s number, “Looks like the food’s here.” Chance made his way to the door grabbing his keys, “Go ahead and pick something for us to watch,” he switched the lock on the door. “So no one walks in and gets the wrong idea about you. Some of the guys here can be mean,” Chance justified seeing the worried look on Wes’ face. 

Chance walked out the door, quickly making his way to the stairs to walk down the ten flights to the lobby. Wes sat, his heart slowing as he put his face in his hands, rubbing his temples, “Hope I didn’t fuck up.”

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter three: fire and lemons

“i'm goin' back, of course i am! as if i ever had a choice. back to what i always knew i was on the inside. back to what I really am.” -”burning bright (field on fire)”, nine inch nails

It would be another couple of days before Sam heard a peep from Joey again. In the meantime, she had picked up Metallica's phone numbers given she knew she would have more encounters with them in and around their shows, and she made a promise to a tipsy Lars to share some of her drawings when she found the chance.

Cliff offered to take Sam home but she had already been promised a ride from Marla, Frank, and Charlie back up to the Bronx; Joey hitched a ride with them given he was in no shape to drive back upstate. The last thing she saw before she left the restaurant was Cliff's thoughtful facial expression, there right behind James and Kirk; Legacy, meanwhile, were headed on back to their hotel somewhere down in Manhattan. Sam peered out the car window in time to see that boy with the little white tuft in his hair at the curb: darkness shrouded his face but she could make out the shape of the small piece of white through it all.

The warm spring night greeted her and Frank once the two of them had returned to the apartment complex for the night: Sam's knee still ached a bit as she took the steps up to her place, but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it used to be before. She made a mental note to head on back to Frank's apartment to fetch that journal and make some more drawings, that time to show to Lars.

In the meantime, she used a small journal she had delved out from the bottom of her bag for doodles. She kept her mind fixated on Cliff, especially since she knew it was him at that point. Indeed, when she fell asleep on the couch that night, he appeared in the wake of her dream. The white stripe bled away into darkness and into a pair of snakes atop his head. His handsome face gazed back at her like the old stone face of a statue.

It wasn't him, but it also was. The man of her dreams, same as he ever was and always will be to her. He was in between something, somewhere, someone who graced the earth. It was Cliff. It wasn't Cliff. Somewhere in between there.

She reached out to touch him, to feel him, to get to know him, and yet he drifted away from her, much like that of a ghost in the shadows. He wondered around her as if he was about to circle his prey, but he never said anything. His deep set eyes watched her, even as he walked behind her and underneath her.

She awoke with her arms outstretched before her, such that they dangled over the edge of the couch cushions. She let her fingers curl back towards the base of her palm. So close and yet so far away from her.

Sam also recalled the promise she made to Joey, to go and hang out with him at some point that week. She had made a couple of calls to him over the course of two days but he never picked up once. She did, however, pick up his answering machine and the sound of his soft voice coupled with his distinct upstate accent. Every single time she did, she closed her eyes to relish in it.

“Hey, this is Joey Belladonna—I'm either out jammin' or playin' hockey, but you can leave a message if you'd like, please and thank you.”

It was only for a few seconds, but it was something.

He finally made the call back to her early one morning, but she was quick to pick it up there in the kitchen as she began to brew a small pot of coffee for herself.

“Hey, my li'l Sam I am,” he greeted her in a soft, broken voice.

“Hey, Joey! I've been wondering what's been going on with you.”

“I had a feelin' that was the case.” A gentle crackling noise on his end caught her attention.

“Is everything okay?” she asked him. “You don't sound good.”

“I just woke up,” he answered, “I haven't been able to get back to ya 'cause I was nursin' the hangover.”

“Oh, I see.”

“It was also one of those things where it was like—I kept forgetting to get back to you. That's kinda my fault, though. I kept forgetting and by that point, it was always like almost midnight and I figured you had already gone to sweet. So—but here I am now! How is everything?”

“Oh, you know,” she replied with a shrug of her shoulders, “—just waiting to hear back from the admissions desk at my school and doodling and whatnot. I can foresee hope of paying my rent soon.”

“That's so good,” he remarked and the crackling noise emerged from the background again. “So, uh—what you wanna do when we see each other again?”

“What do you have in mind?” Sam leaned back against the edge of the counter and folded her arms across her chest.

“Well, Metallica's coming back out this way—not this week but next Friday, I think? They haveta finish up on some important stuff for their new record. Apparently they recorded it over in Denmark so they left for there just last night and then they're comin' back here.”

“Wow. Why Denmark?”

“I dunno—sump'n 'bout the studio being cold so everything stands out better. Scott, Frankie, and Charlie know about it way more than I do. Legacy are comin' back over this way around then, too. I guess they'll be playing at L'Amour again.”

“Oh, how fun! I'd like to see them again—I wanna get to know them more.”

“Right? They're kind of at the tail end of this whole wave going around here and back out West, too. This wave of... 'speed metal' as it's known. Everyone is calling Metallica, Anthrax, and two other bands outta California, Megadeth and Slayer, as like the ones who're leading the way. Like the big ones.”

“The big four?” she followed along.

“Yeah, they're like the big four! The big four of the whole thing. And Legacy are kinda at the tail end of it 'cause they started a little later and they're still shuffling around.”

“A 'transition stage' as Zelda described it,” she recalled. “And you're part of it!”

“And I'm part of the big four! It almost feels like a movement of sorts. Although Anthrax to me feels like the oddball of the bunch 'cause y'know, we're from New York and those guys are all from your neck of the woods in California.”

“But they all frequent out this way, though,” she pointed out. “At least Metallica and Legacy do anyway.”

“They all do, yeah—we should meet up with Megadeth and Slayer at some point. The couple of times I got to meet Slayer, they were—for lack of a better word—fucking badasses. These seemingly scary looking dudes but they were real cool, though. Real friendly and genuine buncha guys. I haven't met Megadeth yet, though. We all should have a big party together some day.”

“All the parties and all the rage,” she remarked.

“All the parties and all the rage, all the world's a stage,” he waxed.

“That's good, you should write that down.”

“I ain't no song writer, though. Some people are good at that sorta thing—I don't really see myself as that.”

“But that was good, though! I liked that, Joey. You should do something of your own some day, like Stormtroopers of Death.”

“Do my own shtick and release under the label down there in the City,” he joked.

“Yeah, exactly!”

“But anyways, that's next week when Metallica are coming back from Denmark, though,” he continued, that time in a serious tone. “What about this week and before you hear back from the school people is what you wanted to know, though.”

“Exactly.”

“Well, let's see—I'm not doin' anything together. And I haven't been able to do anything, either, 'cause—you know.”

“Hungover.”

“Hungover—that lasted a little more than a day, too. But I'm back and invigorated, though.” He fell silent for a second, and the rustling noise caught her attention once again.

“What's that sound?” she asked him.

“What sound?”

“I keep hearing like this crackling sound on your end.”

“Oh, I'm layin' on my couch and there's a bunch of newspapers down on the floor and I keep brushing my foot up against it. Sometimes I don't even pay attention to what I'm doin' when I'm on the phone and—ah, shit—” More crackling on his end.

“What happened?”

“I kicked it over—hang on a sec.” Silence fell on his end: she could hear him shuffling around and doing something off of the phone. But within time, he returned to the phone and let out a long low whistle. “Here's an idea—how 'bout I drive on down there to the Bronx and come on over to your place and we play by ear there?”

“Sounds good. I'll be waiting for you.”

“It's gonna be a while—like—well, you've been up here before. It takes a while to get on down there. So—take a shower if ya wish. I know I'm gonna do that.”

“You wanna look good for me?” she teased him.

“Well...”

“Well?” She raised her eyebrows even though he couldn't see her.

“I won't deny it, but I also need a shower,” he finished in a single breath. “I smell like an empty liquor bottle.”

“Oh, yeah—get in that shower, big fella.”

He laughed at that and within time, they hung up, and Sam made her way to the bathroom for a warm shower and a fresh change of clothes. She knew she would have to return home from her day with Joey soon enough given the thought about her attending school hung over her. An excuse to get away from there and a reason for him to get away from that awful feeling.

Indeed, as the warm water cascaded over her head and shoulders, she figured she could help him out of that. That night in the alleyway told her that he was a boy in need of help. There was no way she could fix him but she could at the very least be a friend to him and dig him out of the alleyway once again.

Within time, she had dried off and ran a brush through her hair. A knock on the door caught her attention and she flung it open to find Joey standing there in a little white shirt and fitted black jeans. His jet black flyaway curls glistened under the ambient sunlight of the hallway and his sun kissed skin looked so soft and smooth. His black Chuck Taylors fitted his feet like a new pair of gloves. Meanwhile, the marker ink had stayed intact on his dark skin even after a couple of days and after he had cleaned up for her.

She noticed a flat silvery metallic band on his right wrist: something she hadn't seen before with him.

“What, no flowers?” She was taken aback.

“Was I supposed to get ya flowers?” he asked her, slightly hurt.

She hesitated for a second, and then she realized what she had done.

“Can I ask you a question?” she started.

“Yeah, sure,” Joey raised his dark eyebrows at her.

“Is this your first date?”

He stopped with his eyebrows still raised up into his bangs. She gazed into those dark irises.

“You really wanna know?”

“Please.”

He nibbled on his bottom lip.

“Is this a date?” he asked her.

“It's a date if you want it to be one,” she pointed out. “It can be a play date.”

“Nah, it's a play date if you and I are jammin' together.” He hesitated. “Do you—”

“Do I what?” She turned her head a bit to make sure her purse was within her arm's length on the hook.

“Play an instrument at all?” he finished with a bit of reluctance.

“I don't. I probably should, though.”

“Yes, you totally should.” His face lit up at that. She showed him a smile and then she reached to her right for her purse.

“Shall we?” she started.

“Yeah, let's,” he said as he lifted his elbow up for her to link up. She slung the purse over her shoulder and she closed the door in one fell swoop. The two of them made their way outside to the bright sunlight and the fresh aroma of springtime. Joey reached into his jeans pocket for his mirrored sunglasses: with one hand, he put it on over his dark eyes and his straight Roman nose. The lenses shone in the bright yellow light; Sam squinted her eyes once they reached the sidewalk.

“There's a little park over here,” Joey told her with a point up the block. “Like, around the corner. We can hang out and take a walk around the place.”

“Is there a lake or something there?” she asked him as she shielded her eyes from the midday sun with her free hand.

“I don't think so,” he confessed. “I didn't see one. I also saw a hockey rink not too far from here.”

“You wanna show me a little round of hockey, don't ya?” she teased him.

“If ya don't mind,” he replied with a little shrug of his shoulders and a lopsided little smile.

“Can we walk?”

“We can,” he said, and he ran his fingers through the fine, minute ringlets on the side of his head.

Joey linked up his right elbow with her left and they strolled together down the sidewalk to the corner. Sam peered past him to the narrow side street and she spotted the narrow strip of grass which he called the park.

“That's more like a dog park,” she declared.

“Yeah, now that I look at it—I imagine a bunch'a little dogs running around there now that I really look at it.” He lifted the sunglasses from his face for a moment; once they crossed the pavement, he brought them back down. She spotted the hockey rink in question, a long low dark building set back from the blacktop.

“I should've brought my skates with me,” he confessed over the noise of the street. “But then again, I don't think either of us can go onto the ice without one of us asking.”

“You could always say you're a hockey player,” she suggested as they looked both ways before they crossed the street.

“Yeah, but I'd need to do a little more than just say it, though,” he pointed out. Stray, damp black curls flew out from the back of his head as he led her across the first two lanes of the street. He paused at the center divider to let her catch up to him.

“You sure can run fast,” she remarked with a bit of a pant.

“That's part of the trade,” he replied with that lopsided grin back on his face. “Here—” He extended his hand for her and he guided her across the other two lanes to the sidewalk and ultimately, the hockey rink. Joey's black curls sprawled over his shoulders once they were in repose so as to catch their breath.

“For a skinny little guy, you sure are strong and full of stamina,” she said as she adjusted the strap of her purse.

“As I said, it's part of the trade. The strength of the whole thing will make you help the others find it for themselves. C'mon...” He led her to the hockey rink, which had been closed for the springtime, but he was willing to look in through the front window at the dark front room. She joined in next to him: through the cold shadows, she could make out the sight of a low bench and a series of lockers on the side of the wall.

“God, this takes me back,” he said in a low voice. “It seems like a lifetime ago since I would sit on a bench like that and lace up and put on my knee pads and my jersey.”

He turned to her with a serious expression on his face.

“Do ya think maybe you'd be up for a game of hockey at some point in the future?” he suggested. “I can show you how to do it if you don't know anything.”

“It'll be a while, though, Joey,” she pointed out.

“Oh, yeah, for sure,” he nodded at her with haste. “But I wanna show you the world that came before I turned into Joe the singing drummer—or Joe the drumming singer, whichever suits best. And I'll see if I can find a pair of skates for ya. And now that we bring it up, I kinda wanna show you something...” His voice trailed off and he turned his head. Without hesitating, he ducked over to a white plastic pipe laying on the grass. She stood there before the window and watched him.

“I was a goalie for a long time,” he called out; he held the end of the pipe with two hands, and he held it down by his slim waist. He spread his legs so it looked as though he was about to brandish a sword. “I did act as offense and defense a few times in the past, but I was mostly a goalie.”

“Did you have those big pads on your knees?” she asked him with a gesture down to her own knees.

“Oh, yeah—they stuck onto my knees and went all the way down to my ankles. I had these big oven mitts for gloves to protect my hands. You don't really think of the goalies taking a lotta shit, but we do. Well, I did, anyway. I got hit in the head and in the stomach a lot. Anyways, I'm holdin' this pipe like this 'cause you never wanna raise the hockey stick any higher than this. Any higher and you hit the guy next to you right in the face and you get sent to the box, too. You don't wanna be in the box.”

“Do I have to spread my feet like that, too?” she asked him.

“Nah. I'm only doin' it out of habit. When I'm on the ice, I wanna steady myself so I have a good shot for my teammates. C'mere—” Sam sauntered over to him and he handed her the pipe. She held it by the opposite end with both hands herself.

“And when you're swingin' it, like you're hittin' the puck with it, you wanna put the hand you write with closer to the head. Which hand do you write with?”

“My right.”

“Okay, so, here—” She moved her right hand down the pipe right as Joey stood right behind her. “Just like that, yeah! Well, not that far—” She moved her hand up towards her. “—yeah, that's better. And now put that end down to the ground—” She did just that and her purse slid off of her back, but she didn't mind. “It's a lot easier if we're movin' around and we're on the ice, like it just becomes natural to you.”

Sam stood back upright and held the pipe as if it was a baton.

“I was going to say, I can see this being real hard on your back.”

Joey shook his head a bit.

“It is kinda, like at first it was for me. But you get stronger with each time and on top of that, like I said, we're usually moving around at a real pace so you don't really think about it too much when you're playing a round with your team or you're hanging out with a bunch of friends.” He ran his fingers through the ringlets on the side of his head yet again.

“Wanna take a walk?” he suggested.

“Yeah. I haven't really seen much of this neighborhood since I moved here. I've either been hanging out with all of you guys or concerned with school and my own things.”

“Or it's been snowin',” he added.

“Or it's been snowing, right!”

“I'd put that pipe back on the ground, too—I saw something crawl out of it.”

Without even thinking for a split second, Sam tossed the pipe off to the side and they made their way down the sun bathed block. That time, they didn't link arms, but Joey walked side by side with her. All of the buildings were made of faded pale brick, but the whole neighborhood of the Bronx was in stark contrast to the rest of the city with all the little shops and the apartment complexes that lined the street.

“Maybe at some point, I can take ya a little bit upstate,” he said at one point.

“We can go now if you'd like,” she suggested, “you know, if you're not doing anything else today.”

“You wanna?” He showed her a grin.

“Yeah, let's do it! I only saw the one part of it when we went to go get you.”

“Alright—let's get on back and I'll drive you up to Poughkeepsie. It's one of my favorite places to play a gig at. It's a little bit of a drive, but I think we do it, though.”

It took them a little bit to return to Sam's block and to climb inside of Joey's beat up car. The same car that broke down in the months before out in the middle of the harsh New York winter. The same car he almost froze inside of.

“You still haven't gotten a new car?” she asked, stunned, as she rested her purse upon her lap and rolled down the window.

“There hasn't been any money,” he admitted with a solemn look on his face. He slipped the key into the ignition. “Trust me when I say this, though—the second there is a bit o' money, the first thing I'm getting is a new car.” It fired up without any roughness, but once they made their onto the parkway outside of the Bronx, Sam could feel the car was nearing its final miles: the way in which it seemed to struggle with staying in a straight line on the hard black pavement and also with staying up to speed with the rest of the traffic.

“I don't know if we'll be able to even get there,” he confessed at one point. She peered out the window at the sight of one of those green road signs, and its decreeing that Poughkeepsie was eighty miles away.

“You were able to drive down this way with no problems, though, didn't you?”

“Not at all. So this—this kinda worries me a li'l bit, if I'm honest.”

“What do you think we should do?” she asked him.

“Well—let's see. Keep an eye on those payphones out there. If we break down either out this way or on the way back, we're gonna haveta hit up either Frankie or Aurora or somebody to come and get us on one of those. I'll do the same if it breaks down and you're not with me.”

They drove up the wide four lane parkway for a few miles when the whole car began to gyrate and shake while in motion. Sam caught the smell of something burning.

“Shit,” he blurted out. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit—shit!”

“What the hell is that? What's wrong with it?”

“It's overheating.” Joey shuffled his feet underneath his seat. Sam clutched at her purse. He drove towards the far right lane and the guard rail. He hit the brake pedal and the car screeched to a stop. The second they were at a halt, hot steam emerged from underneath the hood. The steam was then followed by a short flame out the front grill.

“Oh, my god, this car is dying, Sam!” He hit the edge of the steering wheel with both hands and bowed his head in frustration. “This fucking piece of shit!”

Sam climbed out of the front seat with her purse in hand and she made her way towards a tree on the side of the road to be away from the burning car. Joey followed suit right behind her. They stood together several feet away and watched the whole front of the car catch on fire.

“I'm sorry, Sam—I didn't mean for you to see that part of me,” he sputtered; Sam looked into his face to see tears in his eyes.

“Joey, you did what you could. That car was going to die anyway.”

“It was, yeah.” His upper lip trembled and she moved in closer to him. Sirens down the parkway caught her ear.

“Joey—I don't want to fix you. I want to be a friend to you. You're a sweet boy. You are. You are!”

“But I'm fucked up, though.”

“You're not! You're not fucked up, Joey. You like to party and have fun, and sometimes things like a burning car happen. But it's not your fault, Joey. I promise you. None of it is your fault.” She threw her arms around his slender body and she held him close. She leaned the side of her head against his chest so she could watch the back end of the car ignite into big hot yellow flames. They stood a ways away from it to keep away from the smoke, and the black column rose in the other direction from them, but she could feel the heat from the inferno.

“Thankfully I took my blanket out of the back,” he tearfully said. “That thing belonged to my grandma.”

“And thankfully, we're out of there,” she pointed out; she peered up at him and she brushed a tear away from his face.

“What the hell am I gonna say to my dad now?” he asked, and his brown eyes grew wide with concern.

“Tell him the truth,” she advised. “That's all I can tell you. Just tell him what happened.”

“I don't wanna lie to him after all,” he said with a sniffle and a shrug of his slender shoulders.

Within time, a fire truck and an ambulance showed up. But at that point, the car had burned down to the axles and Sam had already hunted down the payphone to give Aurora a call.

“They're taking us down to the station to check on us,” she told her. “Okay—call Marla and Charlie and tell them what happened. I'll give you a ring when we get there.”

Neither of them had inhaled any of the smoke given they stood so far from it and the column billowed in the opposite direction, but Sam could hardly shake the image of those bright flames from her mind as she and Joey rode in the back of the ambulance back to the Bronx.

“Why do I always get into deep shit when we're together?” he pointed out to her as they neared the familiar neighborhood. “Like it almost feels like karma is working against me whenever you and I hang out.”

“Why would karma work against you?” she asked him.

“I puked my guts out twice, the hockey rink was closed, and now my car caught on fire. It's almost like the universe is telling me we shouldn't hang out together.”

“I drew your face, though,” she pointed out. “It's in my journal—the same journal I handed in to get myself into school.”

“Oh, shit. I don't wanna jinx it then.”

“You won't jinx it,” she insisted.

“But that's my fear, though.”

They reached the driveway of the hospital, where a pair of nurses checked on them to ensure they didn't inhale that acrid smoke or received a bad burn of some sort. Sam recognized Marla's orange hair in the afternoon sun at the far end of the driveway.

Charlie reached them first with his arms wide open and he was quick to embrace them both.

“God, I'm so glad you guys are okay,” he murmured into Sam's ear.

“It was so scary,” she told him as Marla pushed him out of the way to embrace her.

“What were you guys even doing?” Charlie asked them.

“I was gonna take her up to Poughkeepsie for the day,” Joey explained, “we got a few miles out of town and the damn thing started overheating. It started shaking like a boiler, and then I pulled over and that was when the radiator went out and it caught fire. She got out of there so fast. Like she saw the steam rising and she just bolted. Right, and I'm the fast runner.” That coaxed that lopsided grin out of him, and a slight chuckle out of her.

“So what happens now?” Marla asked him.

“Bunk with me?” Sam suggested. “My couch is so comfy.”

“You're gonna make him sleep on the couch?” Charlie cracked.

“Where else is he gonna sleep at? On a hook?”

The two men burst out laughing at that.

“Yeah, I don't see why not,” Joey replied with a shrug. “I need to call my parents and tell them what happened, too.”

* * * * *

Given he had no means of returning home and fetching a fresh change of clothes for himself, Joey stayed in the same shirt and jeans for the next couple of days before Frank offered to take him home on Saturday night. But he lay on her couch with his sock feet and he greeted her every morning with that crooked smile plastered on his face. He always asked her how she slept the night before, and he always offered to help her out whenever he could.

On Thursday night, right before they turned in for the night, she realized that she was correct about him. Joey just needed someone to talk to in the whole grand scheme of things, being the boy from upstate New York and the guy thrust into the music scene from the hockey world. He only drank as much as he did because he needed a means of escape. He took it out on himself because of that old stone face that stared back at her through the darkness as she switched off the light.

The next morning, Sam was jarred awake to the sound of the phone ringing in the kitchen. He caught it first given he lay there on the couch partially awake.

“Yeah,” he was saying in a broken voice; she stepped into the room right as he turned to face her. He showed her a smile. “Yeah, yeah, she's right here.”

And without changing his expression for a second, he handed her the phone. “I won't jump to conclusions but I think you're in business,” he told her with a twinkle in his eye.

Sam gasped and she brought the receiver to her right ear.

“Hello?”

“Is this Sam Shelley?” a man asked her.

“It is.”

“I'm Bill Gaunt—the man from admissions you gave the journal to about a week ago.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember you well.” She couldn't resist the excited smile on her face.

“Well, all I have to say is we love your art so much that we need to meet you and we need you here with us.”

“Seriously?” She brought a hand to her chest. Joey leaned in closer to her with his eyebrows raised high up into his bangs.

“Seriously, seriously. If you can come down some time today or Monday—the sooner the better—we'll figure out a grant for you. Welcome aboard!”

“Oh, thank you so much! I'll be there soon.” She hung up and she turned to an excited Joey.

“I'm in!” she declared. “I'm an art student!”

“Oh fuck yeah!” He threw his arms around her and she leaned her head against his chest. “Oh, my god, Frankie and Charlie are gonna freak when they hear about this.”

“Make a pot of coffee,” she told him as she stepped towards the kitchen doorway. “I'm gonna tell Frankie about it.”

“Is he even up?”

“I don't care if he isn't,” she quipped, “this is a time of celebration!” That brought a laugh out of him, and she ran out of the apartment in her pajama bottoms and her camisole; down past Emile's place and down the hall. She pounded on the door panel with both hands, and Frank greeted her with bleary eyes.

“Sam? The hell's going on?”

“I got into art school!” And his face lit up.

“Holy shit! See? I told you you'd get in!” He threw his arms around her. “Oh, god, that just made my life!” His chest shuddered a bit from the feeling. She pulled back to look into his face and he wiped away some happy tears.

“Oh, fuck—fuck, man.” He then rubbed his hands together. “I've gotta call Charlie and Marla and tell them—they're gonna be thrilled.”

“I'm gonna call my parents,” she told him. “I owe them absolutely everything.”

Frank returned to his apartment still with tears in his eyes and she ducked past Emile's apartment right as he poked his head out to the hallway. “What's all the commotion, Miss Shelley?” he asked her.

“I got into school, Emile! I'm gonna have some money coming in!”

“Excellent!” He showed her a thumbs up.

Sam hurried up the stairs to call up her parents and to have a cup of coffee with Joey. Every step up felt lighter and swifter. It was like a dead weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was finally a part of New York City, and she was going to let everyone know it.

Indeed, when she and Joey made her way down to Manhattan together so she could do it that day, and he didn't want her to go alone, she had a desire to tell everyone on the subway about it. She had to stop herself given she knew what Charlie had told her about living in the city. Joey huddled close to her on the other side of the support pole but he never touched her. He only showed her a big, excited smile and the twinkle in his eye.

“How exciting!” she decreed as she clutched the strap of her purse.

“Got a hand in Anthrax's world and now you're about to embark into art school,” he said with a nod of his head; the smile never left his face as they arrived in Manhattan and they surfaced from the subway to the bright sunshine outside.

“I'm just dyin' of thirst right now,” he confessed to her over the noise of the street. “I'm gonna grab a glass of lemonade. Would you like one?”

“Yes, please!”

Joey made his way down the block to one of the cafes on the side of the street. Right across the street, she spotted a tall man with a big floppy hat atop his head. She recognized him even from a distance. She hurried towards him right as he reached the street and turned in the opposite direction.

“Cliff!” she shouted over the noise of the street.

He never moved, even as she reached the corner of the side street.

“Cliff!” she called out again, and that time, he wheeled around to look at her: that black brim cast a soft shadow over his handsome face, and thus she could see into his eyes as they crinkled up at the corners with his big greeting grin.

“Hey!” he answered in a big bold voice; he set his hand on top of his hat. She peered both ways on the street, and then she darted across the pavement to meet up with him. He never dropped the grin from his handsome face as she came within earshot. She put her arms around his long torso and he returned the favor.

“What the hell, I thought you guys were in Denmark all this week?” she asked him as part of her greeting.

“Yeah, we were but we came back early, though,” he explained.

“How is it there?”

“Beautiful. It's springtime so the darkness and the daylight is perfect at the moment before it falls out of wack again.”

“Joey told me that you guys went there for the perfect sound of your new record,” she said as he led her away from the crowded street.

“Yeah, we were told—it was like a warehouse, this big empty space in the heart of Denmark—it was cold enough for Lars' drums and for the three of us to work harder. So what'cha doin'? I was just gonna go into his little book shop here.” She turned her head for a look at the cozy shop nestled in between a restaurant and a tattoo parlor.

“I got into art school!” she declared with spirit.

“Oh, that's so cool! I'm sure Lars'll like the sound of that.”

“Joey's across the street getting lemonade, but—I don't really wanna stand there on the street, though.” Without hesitating, Cliff held the creaky wooden door for her and she stepped inside of the cozy shop first. Right before her stood a low wooden table covered in books and faded papers: beyond that was a series of bookshelves, and to the right stood a short staircase. Cliff stepped around her and took off his hat to reveal the crown of fine brown hair atop his head. The black stripe was missing that time, to which she frowned at the sight of it.

He gazed on at her with a puzzled look on his face.

“What's the matter?” he asked her.

“For a second, I swore you had a black stripe in your hair,” she confessed.

“I don't,” he promised her, and he showed her a lopsided little grin. “But I can see how it'd confuse ya, though. My hair likes to change color depending on the lighting. One time, I went out with a girl who thought I had some white hairs on the side of my head.” Indeed, he gave his hair a toss back with a flick of his head and it looked as though his hair was comprised of a myriad of different colors. But she spotted a black stripe and a white stripe on the side of his head. It might have been part of the lighting after all, because the colors disappeared and returned to plain brown.

“You are a man of many colors,” she remarked with a grin upon her face. He set his hat down on the edge of the table and he picked up a book from the table in front of him: a blue paperback about the size of his hand from the base of his palm to the tip of his middle finger.

“What book is that?” she asked him.

“Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse—guess it's about Buddha? It's got a picture of Buddha on the cover.”

“Oh, yeah!” she squeaked with a wave of her finger. “I remember reading that when I was in high school.”

Cliff opened up to a random page near the back.

“'I have always believed,'” he read aloud, “'and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.'” He glanced up at her with his eyebrows raised and his eyes big.

“I remember it well,” she said in a low voice.

“Sam?” Joey's voice floated in through the door behind her.

“Oh, there he is!” She opened the door for him, but he stood there on the sidewalk with glasses of lemonade in either hand. “How'd you know I was here?”

“Saw you walk in,” he explained, and he lifted his gaze into the shop. “Hey, Cliff!”

And Cliff nodded at him and showed him a smile. Sam took the cup in Joey's right hand.

“I gotta go,” she confessed to him, and he nodded at her, still with his eyes big and his face warm and soft. Before she followed Joey out to the street, and with the glass in hand, she stepped closer to Cliff.

“Call me when you get home,” she told him in a low voice.

“That is if you call me first,” he vowed to her with a wink.

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

sprung spring | take you home; adam page [m]

Prompt Used:

  “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.” + comfort sex + drunk sloppy sex + “Oh my god you’re so much better than the last person I was with.” + A breathy demand: “Kiss me” - and what the other person does to respond. + needy/clingy sex

Notes: 

Okay, so… I have literally… Never… used my given name in a work of fiction before and… ya girl found out it’s hard to write dirty things when the OC has your name. Pure self indulgent smut because fuckkit yolo, I needed this. Some of the dialogue prompted above was changed to reflect the situation these two were placed in, fyi. This is mature content, so nobody under 18+ up in these parts. Also, I owe a serious hug to @heelsamizayn​ & @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure​ because no matter how many times I whined and bitched and got all squirmy whilst writing this, they really kept me going and I love them for that.

Warnings: 

alcohol tw ( it’s the OC this time), clingy unprotected sex, sawwwft!Adam, lots of teasing (and hopefully tension, I was  really trying to play at heightening that here) and yeahhh.. It’s tame. I promise ya’ll… I’m going to write actual harder / filthier prompts, I just… had a mighty need. Anyway, that’s all the warnings.

Pairing: 

Adam Hangman Page x OFC, Ashley

Ashley narrowed her eyes at the bottle before glancing up at Shane and shaking her head. “I-I’m good.”

“Aw, c’mon hon. It’s just a little drink.” Shane was stepping closer, right in her space all over again. He’d been plying her with drinks and trying to get her to dance or talk to him -or the most annoying request he’d made so far, “Smile, darlin. Ya look prettier when ya do.” and it was starting to rub him the wrong way, the way she kept resisting. She could almost feel it radiating off of him.

Ashley was at that state of drunk where it was more annoying than endearing and now that it seemed to be irritating him that she wouldn’t just give in, it only gave her all the more reason to resist. It wasn’t as if it wasn’t almost cringe inducingly clear what the asshole thought he was doing and she just wasn’t having it.

At all.

Not even slightly.

Rather than even partially entertain his offer for another drink or to go dance with him, Ashley sighed and rolled her eyes in sheer boredom, taking the drink and taking a sip as she scrolled through her contacts list.

As usual, she hovered over Adam’s number in her phone and that loneliness crept in all over again. More pronounced. More tinged with regret.

She found herself missing him so much that before she even realized it, she’d pulled up the text bubble from their last text conversation and she found herself grimacing at the date.

Had they really not spoken at all in nearly 3 weeks?

And then Ashley found herself going back over the last time they had spoken face to face. Before she realized the true depths of her feelings and Adam drunkenly tried to kiss her and in a blind panic, she’d backed away.

Not because she hadn’t wanted him to kiss her, but because she’d been afraid of what might happen if he did kiss her.

And now, Ashley thought bitterly, hugging herself a little as the thought came, I’m lucky to get a Hi, how are you over text out of him..

With a sigh, she finished scanning their last brief text conversation and then, when Shane cleared his throat impatiently, she remembered that apparently, this guy expected her to pay all her attention to him and she put her phone down. Biting her lip, she settled warm brown eyes on the other man.

“I asked ya if you wanted to dance, darlin. They’re kinda playin our song.” Shane chuckled, holding out his hand. When she started to shake her head no, he gave her a sort of put off glare and muttered something to himself about tonight being a complete waste. All his buddies told him not to walk over and try talking to her; they all told him she was bound tighter than molasses from the knees down and every single night she’d come in this week so far, she’d managed to shoot down anyone who thought they might possibly stand a chance of takin her home. I clearly should’ve listened, Shane found himself thinking, because now I’m out fifty bucks and she looks more annoyed with me each second that passes and that real gorgeous chick I know I coulda won over left an hour ago with Greg.

“W-we don’t have a s-song?” Ashley’s brow quirked and she shook her head, holding up her glass. “I-i’m good, actually.” Ashley muttered as she took a long sip.

Moron, do you seriously think I want to dance to this song… with you? Because no. Ashley thought to herself as she glanced around the crowded bar, face falling when she remembered that Adam wasn’t in town right now, he was on the road. When Ashley realized what Shane had just muttered about the night being a total waste, she mildly shrugged. “I-i don’t r-recall askin y-you t-to come up n’ t-try pourin the booze to me, either. Play s-stupid games, w-win stupid p-prizes.”

As Shane grumbled “Fine, suit yourself, darlin. Don’t come lookin for me when it’s late and you can’t find a ride home.” and made his way onto his next target, Ashley let out a long and deep breath, blowing at dark bangs as they flopped right into her eyes, laughing off Shane’s words.

She went back to her phone, scrolling through her contacts.

“Maybe Shayna’s up.” Ashley mused to herself as she pulled up what she thought was a text conversation she’d been having with her friend earlier in the day while they were both stuck in their office working through lunch.

What she didn’t realize -and wouldn’t just yet, was that she hadn’t texted Shayna at all.

She’d texted Adam… The subject of the earlier conversation.

→ First of all, pretty sure I just completely eviscerated this one guy’s poor ego. *eye roll*. Guess whose NOT having the sex right now bc she gets mouthy when she drinks?

→ This bitch, that’s whomst. In my defense, he was the one who kept pouring the drinks to me. I just took ‘em. You know me, guy stood about as much a chance as… Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I chased him off. Like usual when we’re out at this bar.

→ But seriously though.. Maybe it’s the alcohol and the fact that I’m lonely and I’m salty because I’m not getting cuddles rn like youuuuu but…

→ Okay, u were right earlier.

→ It’s late and I’m drunk, otherwise I’d never say that. Maybe a little lonely too. Enjoy your shallow victory and the sex you’re probably getting rn, lmao. ILY Shayna!

→ I know ur probably busy with Samuel - sexy times and all that but… You win. You’re right.

→ I love him and god… I miss him so much it’s making me an even bigger bitch lately, so.. Sorry for that I guess. I wish I’d just… Kissed him back. Climbed him like an actual tree, giant he is… Shoved him against the wall, tangled my fingers in that hair and tugged his mouth against mine. Maybe even rubbed myself against him a lil bit too, just to see if that yummy cologne he wears all the time rubs off. At least then I’d… Well, I sure as shit wouldn’t be sitting here, shooting down pushy douchebag assholes and drinking alone.

→ Anyway, have your moment. I love Adam Page. I always have and it scares the living hell out of me. You were right. Now there’s only one problem… How do I make the big idiot answer my calls?!?

→ don’t answer that rn. Tomorrow… When drunk Ashley isn’t out and doing dumb shit and can think clearly.

→ Okay, no… answer meeee… I just… I need to know what to do here? Pls. I beg of you. If you don’t answer me, I swear to God, I’m gonna wind up drunk dialing.. >.>

–

The cell phone was going batshit crazy on the bathroom counter and Adam mostly ignored it in favor of soaking under a long hot shower. It had been a long drive; made longer by the fact that he was all beaten and banged up from the past few shows but trying to soldier through as usual. Parts of him admittedly ignored the phone because he thought it was most likely one of three people and none of them he wanted to talk to right now.

No, Adam thought to himself, the one I wanna talk to more than anything I can’t talk to now… He sighed as he thought about the way he got too drunk; out of control. He’d tried to kiss her that night and just the sheer look of panic in big brown eyes right before she bolted the hell away in a hurry had been more than enough to make him realize where he stood.

He couldn’t face her after that either, so he’d been keeping a low profile. Trying to distance from… his actions.

Just thinking about it had him both cringing and feeling that raw surge of pain he felt that night all over again, fresh as ever.

She hadn’t texted him or tried calling either, so that only further confirmed his suspicions. And now, Adam thought to himself as the phone buzzed one last time and he stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist after drying off his face, you lost your best friend. The one you could talk to about anything. You messed that up. Being a jerk that night and coming on way too strong.

He picked up his cell phone only halfway glancing at it at first. But when he actually read all the messages, he wound up dropping the phone on the bathroom tiles with a quiet thud. Then he stood there, trying to get his head around everything he’d just read, all the texts from Ashley to what she apparently thought was her best friend Shayna.

About him.

He took several deep breaths and then got himself at least partially together before even attempting to answer the barrage of texts.

← Where are you?

← Are you drunk right now?

At re-reading that her shooting down men when she went out with Shayna was apparently a common thing, Adam let out a few shakier breaths and bit his lip, raising a hand to his head and dragging thick digits through damp hair as he let it sink in.

Blue eyes scanned the next message after hitting send.

← Nevermind, screw it.

← I’ll be there in 10.

← And me and  you? We’re gonna have ourselves a serious talk.

After throwing back on the jeans and tee shirt he’d had on before showering, he grabbed his keys and headed out. He knew the bar she always went to because they’d hung out there on more than one occasion.

“Bastard who was pourin the drinks to her better hope he’s long gone when I get there.” Adam muttered as protective urges reared their head and he found himself more than a little worried. Ashley wasn’t a drinker by any stretch of the imagination. And given the rambling in the texts she thought she’d sent to Shayna just now, it was.. A safe guess that she was at least two thirds of the way to being too drunk to function.

And it had him more than a little concerned because he knew how the guys at this particular bar got when they saw a pretty girl sitting there, drinking alone. His grip tightened on the wheel as he sped towards the bar in question.

When he was in the parking lot, he tried to call her cell phone but it went straight to voicemail. Without wasting any time, Adam killed the engine to his truck and got out, hurrying into the bar, blue eyes darting around all over as he tried to pick her out in the crowd.

Maybe she hadn’t left yet. God, he could only hope.

–

“I-i’m gonna stop you right there. Just because I-i’m a lil tipsy right now..” Ashley stared up at the man who’d taken the seat next to her at the bar after Shane vacated in a hurry earlier. “Don’t mean I want any part of y-you.”

“Aw, c’mon darlin. Pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be sittin here, drinkin all alone. C’mon.”

“I’d a-actually prefer it, if you w-want the honest G-god’s truth.” Ashley waved over the bartender, signalling for more bourbon in her glass. She fixed her eyes on the man and raised the glass to her lips. “Thanks f-for the drink though.”

Before the guy even got a chance to respond, a throat cleared loud; almost protectively, from behind the two. Ashley didn’t even have to turn around to know exactly who was standing behind her, but what she was having trouble grasping in her tipsy state, was what exactly Adam was doing here now.

“Just do yourself a favor and leave, buddy.” Adam stared down the man intently, arms folded over his chest, moving to step closer to Ashley’s stool, lightly pressing against her from behind.

“Adam? W-what the hell?” Ashley drawled, turning on her stool almost immediately, brown eyes locking on him with a questioning gaze. “I… y-you w-weren’t home.” she could feel herself starting to sober up just a little at his sudden appearance. She frowned a little, shook her head sadly.

Adam moved to step between her legs and he leaned in and down, brushing his lips against her own as he muttered quietly and firmly, “Kiss me.” catching her chin with his finger curled beneath it just when she went to look down. “My eyes and mouth are right here, darlin.” Adam coaxed, gazing at her mouth intently.

“K-kiss me, he s-says.” Ashley drawled, biting her lip, staring right back at his mouth just as intently as he stared at hers.

Her hand raised, resting across the back of his neck, fingers tangling in and tugging his hair free from the bun he’d thrown it into, threading through it once she had. Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer and her other hand curled in the front of his tee shirt, tugging his mouth down to her level a little better. Once she’d done that, her lips trailed lazily over his mouth, tracing the shape of his lips, making him give a quiet groan and his eyes flutter open and closed. By the time her tongue was slipping past his teeth, his tongue was fighting against it for complete control of the kiss and he’d leaned into her so much that her back was right up against the edge of the bar. His teeth scraped at her lower lip as the kiss deepened, both of them panting for their next breath and dizzy from it.

His hands slid beneath her ass and he scooped her up, not bothering to break the kiss just yet or untangle her from his body. Her legs squeezed his waist harder and she rubbed against him more than a little. Once they were out in the parking lot again, Adam stopped, sitting her on the railing around an outdoor sitting area, pulling her into another deep and almost bruising kiss.

“I-I was just… about to l-leave. Walk.”

Adam chuckled and shook his head no, nodding to his truck. “I’d feel much better if you’d let me take you home, darlin.”

Ashley eyed him, hints of a pout on her lips. “Y-you s-stopped e-even t-talkin to m-me.” she sighed and shook her head sadly, muttering under her breath, “I-it is m-my fault.” and Adam tilted her chin to make her meet his gaze when she looked down, shaking his head. “It’s not, darlin. Not at all.”

“I-I fucking r-ran. S-seriously?” Ashley whined, her legs squeezing at his waist as she wrapped them around him all over again, staring at his chest for a few seconds, blowing out an exasperated breath, because the more she thought about her choice to run the night he finally kissed her, the more it did truly exasperate her. Of all the times to panic… It had to be then. The worst possible one.

Adam chuckled and leaned down, muttering softly against her mouth, “If it makes you feel any better, darlin.. You made up for it. And it drove me crazy, not talkin to ya.”

“G-good.” Ashley giggled and poked out her tongue as she looked at him. “B-because it m-made m-me really cranky. H-holy s-shit, so cranky.” she giggled again, making Adam laugh and scoop her up into his arms, making his way towards the truck. “I know.”

“H-how?” Ashley’s brow raised as she stared up at him, resting her head against his shoulder. “I-I literally o-only told Shayna…”

“You texted the wrong person, actually.” Adam teased as he unlocked his truck, sitting her into the passenger seat. Ashley’s mouth opened and closed and she palmed her face, groaning in sheer embarrassment while laughing softly.

Adam got into the truck, starting the engine and Ashley was raising the console, curling into his side as soon as she’d moved to the middle to sit, tucking her legs on the seat beside her. Adam chuckled, slipping his arm around her shoulders. “You’re awfully cuddly tonight, know that?”

“Mhm.” Ashley purred, her lips brushing against his neck, making him grip the wheel just a little tighter. By now, the embarrassment over what she’d done was melting away and her internal filter -the little she actually possessed to begin with, was at an all time low thanks to having drinks poured into her all night by random and far lesser appealing men. “Is that a b-bad thing?”

Adam bit back a groan and barely resisted bucking his hips as he felt her lips clumsily moving along the side of his neck as she nuzzled into him and chuckling quietly, he gave an answer. “Not at all, darlin. Except for the fact that you’re getting me all sorts of stirred up right now.” he muttered, the truck coasting to a stop beneath the red light a block away from his place. When he did, he turned to look at her, wasting no time in pulling her mouth up to his as his hand went from squeezing her thigh to slipping between them, rubbing her through her jeans as he swore quietly because he could feel how warm she was and it only made him think about how wet she might actually be.

“Maybe t-that’s what I’m trying to do.” came pouring out before she could stop herself from saying it. Not that she would have either way, but she was at least trying to show a little restraint, still partially shocked that he was there and that she’d somehow managed to confess everything to him under the guise of texting Shayna.

Maybe it was a good thing that happened, Ashley thought to herself as she slipped her hand down, trailing it along the inside of his thigh, then up… Sucking in a sharp breath when her hand settled palm down against the bulge already straining and growing, pushing against his jeans. Adam’s hips snapped and he locked eyes with her, biting his lip, the hand between her thighs starting to move a little harder and a lot faster. Ashley rocked her hips against his hand and sucked in a sharp breath as Adam leaned in, teeth tugging at her earlobe and catching as he muttered against it in a whisper, “If that’s so, darlin.. You’re in for it. Just wait.”

“What if I don’t w-wanna wait, hm?” Ashley muttered as her lips brushed against his neck again and Adam’s breath caught in his throat before making the remark aloud, “Got a lot to make up for, me and you.”

“Mhm.” Ashley could feel herself getting wetter and wetter with every single word he said. She knew he had to feel her thighs clenching tighter with each word he said because his hand was currently buried between them, palm down against her dripping and throbbing heat, rubbing through her jeans and by now she’d trapped his hand where it was. A shiver passed through her body as she continued to rock her hips against his hand, a quiet whimper of frustration coming when all that lead to was him, slowing down way too much for her liking at the moment. She pouted up at him and bit her lip as he leaned in, closer and closer, pulling her face towards his.

“Could take all night.” Adam was turning his head slightly, tugging her neck closer as he ghosted his lips along it, the pressure of his hand reaching an almost feverish frenzy as he growled against soft skin, “Maybe even tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Ashley’s eyes fluttered open and shut and she bit her lip, her hips rocking faster to meet his hand and the way it cupped and rubbed at her heat. Just enough to make a little friction, not by any means enough to give the amount of friction she actually craved.

He was teasing her.

Just the thought had her pouting in sheer frustration as she locked eyes with him. “Tease.”

“Ain’t exactly teasing if I know exactly what I’m gonna do to you when I get you home.” Adam pointed out, giving her a smirk. Ashley swallowed hard, breath catching in her throat at his words. Her mouth opened and closed and it had Adam chuckling quietly because this was one of very few times he’d truly seen her with a complete lack of something clever to say in response.

“Cat got your tongue, darlin?” he practically purred the words as his hand started to massage all over again and almost instantly, she started to rock against it more urgently.

“Adam… Fuck.” she gasped quietly, eyes fluttering open and closed as she started to palm at the way he was strained against his jeans.

The light went green and the careful and almost teasing movement of her hand in his lap felt so good that for about half a second, Adam didn’t realize it had.

“Light’s green, Adam.” Ashley’s voice was teasing, she gave a soft giggle as Adam took a few shaky breaths, nodding as he hurried from beneath the green light, turning down the next street. His house was in view, only a few seconds away and yet… It felt like a million miles away.

Almost the second he was parked at the curb in front of it, he was reaching out, pulling her over the console and into his lap, his hands and mouth all over her, mouth latching onto her neck and leaving a string of hickies down the side as he bucked himself into her from below and his hands disappeared up her shirt, slipping beneath her bra before finally getting frustrated at how in the way it was and unfastening it, gripping her breasts in his hands, palming and squeezing at them as he growled against her mouth when his mouth finally rose to meet and conquer her lips again.

He leaned into her so heavily that her back met the steering wheel and the horn in the center, making them both laugh only to have the sounds of their laughter swallowed by a deep and frenzied, needy kiss. The kiss broke and Ashley backed away slightly, biting her lip, wiggling around in his lap, bucking herself right against the prominent bulge strained and about to burst through his jeans. “I think that’s our sign to go inside, Adam.” she muttered the words as she felt her face burning hot and she bit her lip, squirming around in his lap just a little more, harder, desperate to keep the friction going. Adam nodded, killing the engine and getting out of the truck, carrying her up the steps, stopping to unlock his front door, with her body pinned between his body and the door as he did so. Twice he had to grip harder just because she started to trail her lips down his neck and chuckling quietly into the kiss he stole, he gave a triumphant and joking ‘Yee haw’ when he got the door unlocked at last. Ashley gave a soft whimper as he stepped through the door, shutting it behind him and locking it. He sat her down on a sturdy console table that ran the length of the back of his sofa and stepped away to pull off his boots and Ashley took a few deep breaths, tried to pull herself together.

This was really happening.

Finally.

Adam met her gaze as he straightened to stand again and he stepped between her legs, devouring her mouth hungrily, his hands cupping her cheeks and caressing. “You’re sure, right? Because once we cross the line, darlin…”

Ashley gripped his jaw, guiding her mouth back down against his greedily as she whispered needily into the kiss, “Fuck me, Adam. I don’t wanna remember anyone else but you.”

Adam’s teeth clenched her lower lip; tugging. She was clinging to him and it was driving him crazy because there was… Still too much clothing in between them, keeping them apart. He scooped her up off the console table he’d sat her on to take off his boots and started to carry her down the hall, stopping halfway to put her back against the wall, tearing her shirt up over her head, tossing it onto the floor. Ashley tugged impatiently at his tee shirt, finally getting it up and over his head, tossing it onto the floor a few feet away from where her own shirt lie. Adam did away with the pesky bra next, letting it hit the floor softly, an almost primal growl bursting from his lips as he dipped his head low, dancing his mouth over the tops of her breasts, leaving behind beard burn and littering soft skin with bites with each time his mouth connected with her bare skin.

Ashley writhed around in his grasp, rocking herself into him, gripping his hips tighter with her legs, whimpering aloud, her head falling back and softly hitting the wall as her eyes fluttered open and shut. Her hand gripped his shoulder, fingertips digging into and dancing over his skin, sending a shiver through his body and making him groan as he glanced up at her, biting his lip. Ashley stared right back, both of them struggling to catch their breath but too caught up in the moment to bother putting a halt to the deep and biting and almost bruising kisses. She took his face in her hands, pulling his mouth deep against her own, her tongue trailing over the outline of his lips before parting them, her body rubbing against him even more frantically. Her hand raised to tangle in his hair and in the process, a photo clattered to the hallway floor noisily.

“Let’s take you to bed, hmm?” Adam’s breath against her skin as he mumbled the words into her neck quietly had Ashley whimpering and rocking against him even more frantically. Adam growled quietly as he bucked himself right back against her, starting the walk down the hall to his bedroom all over again. He kicked it open, a quiet creak of the frame echoing through the stillness as he stepped inside and shut it behind him, tossing her against the mattress as he stared down at her hungrily. Ashley went to raise up, reaching for the waistband of his jeans but Adam pushed her back against the mattress all over again, making her pout and give a frustrated whimper as he chuckled softly and leaned down, hands going down her bare skin, sending goosebumps to it’s surface as he lowered his mouth down, ghosting it slowly over her abdomen before raising to whisper next to her ear, “Uh uh darlin. Let me take care of you.” in a husky and firmer tone.

He started to lazily trail his mouth over bare skin all over again, the blunt of his teeth tugging at her nipples as his tongue circled them and he caught her eye, winking at her, his hands drifting down between them, unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans, lingering to rub and squeeze her cunt before hooking in her waistband to tug her jeans and panties down all at once. Ashley tried to rock her hips upward, desperate to feel any kind of friction, frustrated beyond belief by all Adam’s teasing, but almost the instant she dared it, Adam was on his knees, kneeling in front of her, parting her legs with his hands and ghosting his mouth up the inside of her thigh slowly, occasionally placing a soft bite against her skin.

When her fingers tangled in his hair, he grunted against her skin, grazing his teeth against it, his tongue slowly making a lazy broad swipe upward. Ashley whimpered when she tried yet again to rock her hips against the way Adam had her pinned, just hoping to at least make an attempt to steer him where she needed him most, but he chuckled quietly, the shake of his head that he gave making soft hair brush against her skin and sending a shiver through her body. “I’m holdin you still for a reason, darlin. Now c’mon, be a good girl. Be still and let me take care of you.”

“Adam, please.” Ashley begged, trying again to rock her hips upward, only to pout when she realized just how determined Adam was to hold her in place and tease her relentlessly.

“Be patient, darlin. We got all night.” Adam’s tongue was trailing lazily over her folds as he said it, the taste of her on his tongue making him half growl his words as they left his mouth. He smirked a little to himself when he felt her not only try to rock her hips upward to meet his mouth but her hand curling in the comforter on top of his bed and in his hair, tugging as she whimpered and whined, her cries of frustrated pleasure echoing off the walls of his bedroom and shattering the silence around them.

Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his tongue make a long stripe over one side of her cunt. And then, straight across the middle, finally, another long stripe across the opposite side to which he lazily chuckled “A.” as he met her gaze with a teasing smirk. Ashley rose up slightly, staring down at him, biting her lip as a series of needy whimpers and loud whines left her mouth and her toes dug into the comforter. One long and broad stripe and then another curved stripe had her shivering and arching her back, fingers tangling in his hair as she tugged gently, “Fuck.”

“D.” Adam was at it again with the smirk, lowering his head almost a split second later to get back to what he was doing. His tongue trailed a familiar pattern over her folds and he muttered quietly against her cunt, “A”. and Ashley shivered even more because it hit her what he was doing, spelling out his name. “Adam, please… Need you, baby, please.” she begged almost frantically, desperate to ease some of the ache rapidly building because of all his teasing. Despite the urgent begging, Adam’s tongue rolled lazily, the one slanted stripe required to form one side of the M and then the two stripes required to form the middle of the M and finally, the last stripe. “M.” he groaned as his nose bumped right against her pelvic mound and he buried his tongue as deep in her pussy as he could, tilting her hips upward, pulling her closer to his mouth as he savored the taste of her as it started to fill his mouth. He could feel her body starting to tense up and another smirk came, pressing against her soaked warmth as he started to slow way down on the movements of his tongue. When he felt her fingers tugging at his hair again and noticed that she was digging her toes into the bed too, the smirk on his face grew.

Yeah, he was teasing. Taking his time with her, making this last. He’d waited so long already, now that it was happening, he was just… Really savoring the moment.

“Adam, please!” Ashley choked out, back arching away from the mattress slightly, eyes fluttering open and shut as she tried to keep frustrated tears at bay. When she felt him leaving a string of bite marks on the inside of her thighs, she whimpered and tried to rock her hips against his grip at them to no avail.

“Not yet, darlin. Just a little longer, I swear.” Adam breathed against her cunt as his tongue rolled lazily over the folds before slowly slipping in all over again, starting over with his little teasing torture. Ashley’s grip tightened in his hair and he paused, glancing up at her with lust blown eyes. “Pull as hard as you want while my head is buried between your thighs, darlin. C’mon. I like it.” his tone was firm, almost demanding.

And it only served to make her even wetter, she could feel the wetness coating her thighs, dripping. Adam growled quietly, tongue moving a little faster, flicking over her clit, lingering and trailing a lazy circle, grazing his teeth against the circular bundle of nerves as he chuckled against her, “What’s wrong, darlin?”

“You know what you’re…” Ashley writhed beneath the grip Adam had on her lower body, keeping her legs spread wide for him as his tongue slowly dove into and out of her soaked heat, “doing. Tease.”

“Oh, I’m not teasin at all, darlin.” Adam chucked again quietly, “Just said you better not dare cum yet.”

“Adam, it’s all I want to do! Fucking… ahh, hurts. I’m aching, baby, c’mon… Please?”

Adam continued to lick, adding two fingers and Ashley hissed sharp, her breath catching in her throat, her entire body tensing as she tried to do as she was told and resist the urge to cum. The more teasing she endured at his fingers and mouth, the harder that became.

He could feel her body tense up so tight, the way she was propped on her elbows to watch him had her arms shaking. He definitely felt her toes digging into the comforter by now too. Giving a soft nip to the inside of her right thigh as he stopped for a second or two, he muttered quietly, “Okay darlin. Now.” before raising her hips just a little, burying his tongue back deep inside her, rocking her hips against his face faster, his tongue swirling inside her cunt in a frenzy as he felt her shaking all over, heard her gasping for her next breath as she moaned out loud over and over, her cries of pleasure and his name filling the air and driving him over the edge, making him lick and suck harder, faster. He loosened his grip on her hips and she rocked them against his face almost shamelessly, he muttered quietly against her skin, “C’mon, darlin. Don’t stop.” breathing heavily.

Ashley’s hips started to slow and Adam lowered her legs, crawling up her body after dragging the back of his hand across his mouth, his eyes locked on her intently as he leaned down, pulling her into a deep kiss, breaking the kiss quickly to raise up, his hand lowering and wrapping around his thick length just to trace the tip right over and slightly between her folds, shivering himself in anticipation, growling quietly. His hips pinned her hips against the bed and she dug her nails into broad shoulders as he sank into her slowly, carefully, stopping to kiss her cheeks and mutter against her mouth, “You okay, darlin?”

“Yeah.” Ashley answered, trying to rock her hips against him once she was adjusted to the way he stretched her out and filled her up. Her nails trailed lightly across his shoulders, digging in slightly when he sank into her even deeper, his hips smacking against her hips softly and slowly, placing kisses all over her mouth and face, trailing them down her throat as he muttered lazily, “So sweet I could eat you up.” as he met her gaze and slowly licked his lips. Ashley wrapped her legs around his hips and the new angle had him groaning, his hips sporadically crashing against her own for a few seconds as she took his cock as deep inside her as he could go, buried to the hilt. Her hands moved over his face, raising, dragging through his hair after pulling his mouth against her own for a deep and slow and greedy kiss. The kiss broke and he gave a lazy peck at the corner of her mouth, driving deeper and slower into her as he did and muttering softly, “Gonna get way too used to this, I think.”

“I already am.” Ashley breathed out against his skin, making him shiver. He’d always had a weakness when it came to gentle touches against his neck. The fact that she seemed to be enjoying brushing her mouth against the spot, or gently nipping at it with her teeth only had him giving a quiet growl and slamming himself into her slower and with much longer strokes. When she tried to speed him up, he chuckled and his hands lowered, gripping her hips, holding them so that he controlled the pace as he muttered against the shell of her ear, “What’s your hurry, darlin? We’ve got all night.”

Bleak sunshine was starting to peek through the curtains by now and Ashley giggled softly against his neck as she clung to him and he continued to attempt slowly and deeply fucking her into the mattresses on his bed, “It’s morning, actually.” as her forehead softly bumped against his collarbone and he chuckled as soon as the realization hit him too. “Well then, smarty pants, we have the rest of the day. Either way,” Adam’s mouth trailed lazily over her skin, leaving an erratic trail of marks in it’s wake, “we’ve got nothin but time.”

“You make a good point.” Ashley’s breath caught in her throat as his cock bottomed out, brushing against a spot that felt almost magical with each time he did so. She clung to his body, her moans and whimpers only drowned out by his answering groans and the occasional growl.

“I’m so.. Fuck, I’m so close. Please?” her begging had him giving a soft and quiet laugh, capturing her mouth in a deep and breathtaking kiss as he muttered into it, “Me too, darlin.. C’mon, let go for me.”

He sped up his thrusts, almost frantically chasing his oncoming orgasm as she dug her legs into his sides and her nails into his shoulders, raking them down his back as he growled against her skin, feeling her clench tight around him, feeling her body start to spasm, feeling her biting at his skin gently as he fucked her through her orgasm and straight into his own. He tried to stop but every time he tried, she’d grab hold of his hips and rock against him, begging for more until finally, he was throbbing, emptying inside deep, filling her up as he pressed into her heavily, covering her face in kisses before lazily kissing her mouth and having her deepen it as she breathed against his lips, “ That was amazing.”

“Better than the last guy, right?” Adam was only half teasing, but her answer really went a long way to fully reassure him when as he sank back against the mattress, pulling her on top of him and wrapping his arms around her while staring up, she smiled and gave a soft giggle, nodding as she leaned down and mumbled into his mouth, “You were so much better than the last guy. Ten million times better, baby.” before deepening the kiss he gave…

[twoidiotwriters1]

Starcrossed Losers XIV (Josh Wheeler xReader)

A/N: This is officially the largest thing I’ve ever written on tumblr and I’m proud of it. Pardon my use of PUBLIC, the playlist demanded it (not really but I make the rules) I hope you like this chapter!

Words: 8,639

Warnings: Fights, cursing and blood.

Previous chapter // Next chapter

So now that I embrace my new title, things seem easier. Fuck it, I save lives (not really but you know what I mean), I’m creative, people come to me when they have problems normal solutions can’t fix. I’m awesome.

After I help to clean the store, I look for KJ since I’m already running late. I find her... talking with Josh. I analyze the scene, my friend is holding a book and he goes frantically through the pages as he talks to her. Next to me, I hear some ruffling and I see a small figure peaking through the garbage.

“Hello,” I lean over the pile of trash, I hear a yelp, “what are you doing dressed like a piñata?”

“Watching their interaction,” Replies Angelica, “since you’re going with Alex at least Josh seems to finally make up his mind”

“And that’s a victory cause..?”

“He needs the rebound sex!” I can picture her rolling her eyes, “I get it if you’re virgin and don’t want to lose it with Josh-”

“Hey, my thing has nothing to do-”

“He needs a distraction, if KJ can do that for him then I have to kindly ask you to not get involved!”

“What is he holding?” I cross my arms, now just as invested as my friend on the scene unfolding before us.

“A Chinese-English dictionary, he’s trying to speak in her language”

“That’s so dedicated,” I'm touched by his actions, “he doesn’t need to...”

“Let him be a gentleman!”

“That’s not why I said it!” I poke her head, “Anyway, I think you’re wrong. He’s not asking her out.”

“Why do you think that?”

“A hunch,” I shrug.

“Or jealousy?” She says in a suggestive tone.

“You’ll see I’m right,” I start to walk over to where they are, ignoring Angelica’s hurried whispers.

“Hey!” I put one arm around his shoulders, it’s hard since I can barely reach them, “What’s up?”

I see KJ’s eyes widened for a moment, maybe thinking that I’m about to uncover her secret. I wink at her in complicity.

“Hey,” Josh smiles at me, lifting the book so I can see it, “I was asking KJ about her headphones, I think we could use something like that for the noise problem”

“You don’t say,” I pretend to be surprised, KJ snorts but she manages to change it into a sneeze, “Bless you! So uh, tell you what then, you bring as many headphones as you find and I’ll tell KJ about what we’re trying to do. Give me...”

I gently take the book from him and start rummaging through the pages, pretending to look for some words.

“You sure?” He asks, starting to walk away, “You’re the best Y/N! See you in a minute!”

He runs off excitedly, KJ and I start laughing.

“I have to admit, his effort is kind of endearing,” She smiles.

“Just when I think he can’t get cuter, he does this,” I point to the book and leave it on top of the beauty stand.

Ah, fuck. Why I never think before I talk?

“Cuter?” She smirks, “Are you crushing on Josh Wheeler?”

“Are you?” I ask out of pure panic.

“Hmmm, not really,” KJ shrugs, “but... I can’t say that I haven’t thought about it”

“Hah,” Her words sting in my chest, I try to play it off as casual as possible, “the headphones, then. Let’s go over to the stage and see if we can make it work”

“Cool”

Josh comes back with a bag full of headphones and wireless earphones, looking different than the first time we were standing here today.

“You told her?” He asks, carefully leaving the bag on the DJ’s table.

“She’s in,” I smile innocently, “should we start?”

“Yeah,” He nods excitedly, grabbing three sets and handing us one to KJ and me.

“What’s your plan for this super-amazing-legendary Homecoming do-over?” I ask while breaking the package of my earphones.

“Well, now that you mention it...”

Alex passes by and calls out my name, I look up to see what he wants.

“Should I wear a tie or a bow-tie?” He inquires.

“Whatever you prefer Al,” I grin.

“Alright, don’t say I didn’t ask!” He walks away, raising his hands in defeat.

“He’s taking the dance too seriously”

“I think he’s just making sure everything goes according to plan, maybe he’s worried about our matching outfits not really matching or something...”

“Match?” He frowns, “Why would he... oh”

“Oh?” I frown, “What?”

“You’re going with Alex?”

I really wish this question didn’t make me feel so awkward.

“Uh, yes. He asked me today after I went to the pharmacy... it’s his way of fixing things”

“No, I understand,” He scratches the back of his neck, “you... you wanted that, right?”

“I don’t know if I wanted... it feels nice, getting my best friend back like old times”

“Old times...” He nods, now somehow quieter, “I’m happy for you, Y/N”

“Thanks?” I abandon my earphones on the table, “Is everything okay?”

“Huh?” He looks back at me, “I... I was thinking about the last dance I ever assisted to back in Canada”

“Was it fun?”

“Fuck no,” He chuckles, “I never asked any girl so I always went alone. I had this coach that made us dance with a mop to get the extra credits”

“You went with a mop to your last normal dance?” I ask in disbelief.

“Don’t laugh.”

“I wasn’t going to,” I reply, laughing.

“Stop!” He whines, focusing on his headphones, “I’m aware of how shitty that sounds, no need to rub it on my face. I bet you have this really cutesy story of your last dance”

“I went with my group of friends. We refused to ask someone so we all just went together. It was fun.”

“You always did that?”

“I never thought it was a big deal”

“I did,” He shrugs, “I had a plan for this Homecoming... I asked Sam”

“She said yes?”

“She did,” Josh puts the headphones away, “can we not talk about that right now?”

“Totally,” I reply, picking up my earphones.

KJ speaks up (in Chinese) and points to the DJ’s dashboard, then to our headphones.

“I think she’s saying it’s ready for testing,” Josh says.

“Put them on...” I put on mine and Josh follows my lead.

KJ gets closer to me and whispers.

“Connect your phone to the dashboard and pick a song, it should work.”

“Thanks,” I do what she says.

Since I’m still in the mood for PUBLIC, I grab the phone from my back pocket and open the music app, searching.

“Ready?” I ask, both give me a nod of approval.

“Sweet,” I mumble, pressing play.

And the music starts playing, but this time, only for us to hear.

I’m thinking about what Josh said to me. He asked Sam to the Homecoming dance, How tragic could things get before they stop? I’m starting to rethink my decisions, maybe getting too close is too dangerous. Staying is going to get me killed in more than one way. 

Although how could I leave, when that means abandoning a newfound family.

“I’m a playin' it safe? I've been here for too long Haven't made a mistake There's a reason to stay - 'Cause I feel so alone”

Josh’s face lights up when he starts hearing the music, nudging KJ’s arm and nodding. The girl smiles and waves, her way of saying “Welp, my work here is done!” As she takes off the headphones and gets off the stage.

However, Josh and I stay to listen to the music, I see him mouth a “Well done!” and I answer with a “Same to you!”

“Make up reasons to wait Run so nothing goes wrong But everything that she said, I'm overthinkin' while I'm drivin' back home”

I start to follow the rhythm with my foot, sort of awkwardly dancing to it. 

I won’t overthink what Josh said, there’s no point. Like I said to Angelica, he’s here and he’s staying and so am I. 

Why would I be afraid? He’s told me before he’s not leaving me behind. I’ve said the same thing, I got his back.

“'Cause she said, 

"Call me up when you're all alone 'cause I'm down for hangin' out

We'll stay up all night and I'll just crash on your couch.”

Josh starts dancing as well, we’re goofing around and not really showing our best moves, kinda like the hand-holding thing a few hours ago.

I’ve noticed how I do silly things with him often just for the sake of it, ever since he told me about his fight with Sam we have that sort of dynamic, we can act stupid and the other won’t judge.

“...Maybe that's her, that's the girl I'm just terrified And maybe that's her...”

Does this count as the soundtrack of my life? I mean we attached this song to a memory permanently. Who cares if it’s another PUBLIC song? Their songs are good, don’t underestimate them!

“How will I know if I never try? Maybe that's her, that's the girl, that's the girl I've been waitin' for”

He extends his hand and I take it, dancing in unison. I gotta say, we look pretty stupid. But it’s that spark in his eyes that makes me throw all the embarrassment out the window so I can get an extra minute with this side of him. 

We’re laughing, loud. I know it even if I can’t hear us. I know it for the way his shoulders move and how it gets harder to breathe.

We have our own party going on, I accidentally trip on some wires so of course, I fall forward and Josh catches me.

Am I clumsy or is my body just sabotaging my plan to not flirt with Josh until I think the time is right? 

Or is this just happening for the reader’s entertainment? We will never know.

The thing is that it happened and now Josh’s arms are on my waist and he’s chuckling and saying something that I can’t hear, he lifts me up so I’m standing on my own again. The music has gotten to the part where it’s a bit slower, and suddenly the choir seems to be ten times clearer than before.

“Am I playin' it safe? I don't know anymore Do I keep pushin' away 'Cause I'm just too afraid that someone's gonna get hurt”

Oh, fuck off, PUBLIC. I don’t need you spreading my thoughts out there like I’m desperate to send a message. 

Though I did pick the song myself, maybe I did do it expecting Josh would understand that I’m scared of what I’m feeling. Maybe I’m hoping he’ll understand without me having to say anything and then he can kindly reject me and I can move on with my life.

Please, please just listen to the song, Josh.

For a moment I think he does, his stare suddenly gets all serious and he opens his mouth like he’s about to say something. He steps back so he’s no longer holding my waist and takes off his headphones, I take off one of my earphones and look at him, my hands are shaking.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, trying to sound calm and mildly confused.

“I...” He looks down at his headphones and lets out a short laugh, “I didn’t know you like this band”

“They’re not bad!” I complain.

“Yeah, I know. I like them,” He smiles, “I mean I’m not a huge fan or anything but... you know how I said I had this song in mind apart from Mastermind?”

“I do,” I give him a small smile, “you refused to tell me which song was...”

“It was a PUBLIC song” He grins, “a recent one. I can’t remember the name, that’s the reason why I didn’t choose it but the music video had this cool story where they’re in like a movie set? The singer has a crush on the actress..?”

“I know which song it is! It’s-”

“You guys fixed the problem?” Angelica climbs over to the stage, “wireless headphones? Nice!”

“Thanks,” I reply, “it was Josh’s idea. He asked KJ how did she set up hers so we could do the same with these”

I give her a pointed look and she just scoffs, then she looks to a side and nudges my ribs.

“Look at that...”

I look at the main entrance of the mall and I see Maya heading out.

“Where is she going?” Josh asks.

“Y/N kicked her out”

“You- What?” He says with wide eyes.

“It’s a long story,” I shrug it off.

“It was really badass,” Angelica adds.

“Later,” I insist, “we have a decoration to finish”

“C'mon Y/N, I wanna hear!” Josh insists.

“Basically Maya was throwing a tantrum cause she couldn’t find her knife-”

“Actually it was because I discovered the real reason why she isn’t with the Cheeramazons. It’s cause they kicked her out, but go on...”

“No way!” The boy exclaims, mouth agape.

“Let me finish!” Replies Angelica, “So anyway, she was running around Y/N’s pharmacy and when she walked in I hear Maya screaming at her and I was ready to set her on fire when I heard she was looking for her stupid knife. I took it cause I was helping with some decorations and we needed to cut papers and stuff”

“Maya lost her shit when she saw An holding it and then started to scream louder, then took the knife and cut her”

“My finger,” Angelica proudly shows her bandaid, “and then Y/N lost it.”

“What do you mean?” 

“She told Maya that she needed to leave, cause her job as Healer was to make sure everyone was alright and since she hurt me she couldn’t stay”

“We need to surround ourselves with people that have some limits,” I try to explain so I sound less like an asshole, “Maya had none, she always expects to be the leader or the star of the group, this is how she reacts when she can’t have it. Besides, no one gets to touch Angelica on my watch. No one.”

“I’m not judging you,” He raises his hands, “if anything, I’m proud.”

“You... What? Why?”

“You found your thing,” He adds in a teasing voice, “Healer.”

“Ah,” I roll my eyes, smiling, “I figured that since you keep calling me that against my will might as well own it, right? I got an assistant and all! Alex is great on his job and calls me boss,” I grin.

“You do a pretty decent job,” Angelica shrugs, “just don’t fuck up”

“It’s getting late,” I see Angelica’s watch and realize the night is getting closer, “we get ready for the dance”

“Right!” Angelica perks up, “Eli is looking for you. He said he wanted to talk and that you could meet him back in the salon”

“Okay?” I frown, “I better go then...”

“Have fun!” She smiles, walking off the stage.

“I should go get dressed too,” Josh mumbles, leaving the headphones on the table next to him.

“I should do that after I talk to Eli as well”

“See you... Y/N?”

“Hmmm?”

“Bow-tie or tie?” He asks with a smile.

I let out a laugh, thinking about it for a second.

“Bow-tie. I think it suits you.”

“Bow-tie it is,” He gets off the stage as well.

The store is crowded, I’m starting to think maybe Eli is no longer here when I hear him calling my name from the back.

“Your campaign failed? Are you going to kill me with scissors?”

“What? Nah. I decided to not run for the crown.”

“Why?” I frown, getting closer to where he is, “Wasn’t that your goal?”

“I have a bigger goal now, which is not die,” I’m about to ask what the hell is he talking about when he speaks up again, “I’m giving you a makeover”

“How about no?” I backtrack, trying to be as far as possible from his grasp.

“Don’t be shitty, you know I used to work with my aunt!”

“I don’t need or want a makeover”

“You don’t wanna feel pretty for one night? Do a Cinderella entrance when they see you come down the stairs and all that shit? Do you even know what you’re gonna wear?”

“I was thinking black jeans..?”

“Good fucking- Sit on the chair, Y/N.”

“But-”

“You need a break. You’ve been curing all the kids since you came back and you have a sprained wrist. When was the last time you slept properly like, on a bed?”

“Not that much,” I huff, “like... a week?”

“It shows,” He gets closer and pushes me towards one of the chairs, “sit and relax, princess. I got this shit. When I’m done with you, you’ll look like real-life Barbie”

“How exciting,” I snort, “including the outfit?”

“That’s all on you. I trust you’ll pick something better than jeans. Ask Wesley, he’ll know how to capture your vibe”

“I think I can do it alone”

“Uh...”

“I used to dress up on my own before this whole thing happened,” I say, “the reason why I didn’t want to be all fancy this time it’s cause I just don’t see the point, it’s a made-up dance.”

“So were the ones back at school,” He retorts, already putting some sort of oil in my hair “the difference is that you didn’t plan those. This thing is to help us forget the bullshit, just play along”

I never thought I’d say this but maybe I should follow Eli’s advice. We’ve been through a lot of shit and this thing helps us cope, mend our inner wounds as a true healer would say.

He doesn’t let me look at my reflection until it’s done. He turns around my chair and sets me in front of the mirror. I don’t know how to react to what I’m seeing.

“So?” He inquires, raising a brow, “Will you let me handle those curls without doubting my abilities next time?”

“I...” How did he do that? My hair looks so soft and... clean. Hydrated as well, I have no split ends and it’s just so... in place, I look amazing. 

And my makeup? Yes, he did that too. And I don’t know how did he manage but I don’t regret it at all.

“Eli,” I gasp, “you’re my favorite boy right now”

“I tend to have that effect on the ladies,” He smirks.

“I love you,” I say mesmerized, softly passing a hand through my hair, “don’t take it the wrong way, I don’t wanna date you”

“You don’t need to specify,” Eli scoffs, “I know that you only have puppy eyes for dumbass Josh”

“Oh, come on,” I groan, “you too?”

“Princess if you wanna keep it casual then don’t drool all over the floor,” He replies, “even Crumble can notice”

“Shut up,” I complain, standing up and brushing little hairs from my overall, “I’m gonna go get changed. You better start to get ready as well.”

“Bold of you to assume I don’t have my suit ready. I might have quitted the throne, but I’m still ruling hearts”

“Sure,” I stifle a laugh, “get them all, tiger”

I spend the next two hours searching for something my size and not claimed by the other kids. One hour trying to find them in a color that could match in a killer outfit. In the end, my look is not devastatingly perfect but it’s enough and it makes me feel good, I can’t complain.

Alex finds me when I’m walking out of the store, fully dressed and ready to dance.

“Holy shit, I feel like a proud father right now!” Alex takes my hands and makes do a quick twirl so he can see the result, “I wish I had a camera with me”

“Wait! I have a phone”

“Didn’t you lose your phone when... you know”

“I got one after I left the jocks,” I pull the phone out of my pocket and open the camera app, “you take it, I’m terrible taking selfies”

“Happy Homecoming do-over!” Alex presses the icon on the screen until he feels satisfied, we check to see if we like the pictures and then he gives me the phone back so I put it back in my pocket, “Ready to dance all night?”

“As long as my wrist allows” I lift my hand, still covered in bandages, “I’m ready to have fun”

We walk in and I freeze, amazed by the final result of all our efforts these past days. It looks great, I even start to consider that maybe this wasn’t a waste of time.

“Neat, right?” Wesley walks up to me, giving Alex and I two sets of earphones so we can listen to the music, “I made it work, which means you lost.”

“Not now,” I whisper once that Alex puts on the earphones, “let’s wait until tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Na-ah,” He frowns, not even in a playful way, he looks genuinely upset “tonight’s the perfect romantic setting and you’re thinking about wasting it? You’re thinking about wasting your shot when you’re looking like that? Not on my watch, sister.”

“Wesley...” Alex looks at us slightly confused and I shake my head, “listen, I’m here to have a fun night with Alex and it’d be rude to leave him only to go and flirt with some other dude”

“I’ll only say this once, but you’re losing precious time Y/N,” Wesley warns me, I get the feeling that he’s hidding something from me but I can’t think of anything in particular, “just like you lost your chance to add a song to the soundtrack of our lives. You never told me your choice!”

Shit, after what happened with Maya I totally forgot I was supposed to tell Wesley which song I wanted. Still, I don’t worry too much about it, my mind lands immediately on a song.

“Am I still allowed to tell you?”

“Depends. Which one is it?” I lean closer and whisper the title to him, along with the name of the artist, “I don’t know who that is.”

“Just type it like that, it should appear right away,” I insist.

“Is it good?”

“Hey! You told me I could pick any song, so just add it to the list!” I push him towards the stage, all the way Wesley curses under his breath.

“You need to calm down!” He backs up, “Don’t ruin the suit!”

“You gonna play the song?”

“Yes, now leave the DJ alone.”

“Fine,” I go to find Alex again, he’s waiting for me next to the food and quickly takes off one of the earphones so he can talk to me.

“You want a drink?”

“Does the punch have alcohol?” I say as I put on only one of the earphones, keeping the other in my pocket.

“I don’t know?” He frowns, leaning closer to the bowl.

“I don’t wanna get wasted,” I shake my head, “can’t risk another injury so soon”

“I’ll get you coke”

“I’ll go with you”

We move around the mass of bodies until we reach the other table. There, we see Josh dancing with... a mop?

“Josh?” He’s wearing earpods, so I have to poke his arms to get his attention, when he turns and sees me, he immediately takes one off, “What are you doing with that mop?”

“Hi-woah! You look... so...” Josh looks at me and then at Alex, maybe hoping to get some help from my friend but Al stays silent, waiting for him to end the sentence himself, “you... Hi.”

“Hello,” I chuckle, “I see you’re wearing a bow-tie”

“I see you kept the aesthetic and just changed the overall for a... more fancy overall”

“It’s called a romper,” I clarify, “yes, it’s a fancier version but just as comfortable as the original. I’m also wearing heeled boots so you can’t say I’m not trying.”

“No, I wasn’t going to,” He corrects, “I think you look great. Both of you. Hi, Alex.”

Crap, I forgot I was with Alex. I’m a terrible friend.

“Hi Josh, your date seems pretty shy... Are you going to introduce us?”

“Yeah,” Josh smiles, “Y/N, Alex. Meet Mop-Sam. She’s here to represent real Sam now that she can’t be here”

“Hi Mop-Sam,” I tilt my head, “is this some kind of regression? Are you going back to when you were thirteen and your coach made you dance with a mop as a coping mechanism?”

“No. I just want Sam to have one last good night”

“Fair, but you could’ve used a mannequin,” I agree, “Why a mop?”

I stay quiet as I see the realization hit Josh, he stares at the mop with a new found resentment for his lack of brain.

“I didn’t think of that,” He whispers.

I pat his back.

“You should’ve asked me first, buddy,” I shake my head, “enjoy your night with mop-Sam though, she looks nice.”

He glares at me as I giggle, walking away with Alex beside me, casually holding me by the waist.

“Josh is really weird,” He says while handing me a soda, “yet, he’s got good intentions. I get why you like him.”

I choke with my drink. I don’t even try to deny it, apparently there’s no use to it since everyone has a radar to identify my crush from miles away.

“I just think he’s really fun to be around,” I shrug, “it’s thanks to him that I found you so I’m thankful that he found me”

“I can tell he’s glad that you found him,” Alex raises a brow, “why didn’t you come to the dance with him?”

“Because you asked me first.”

“You could’ve said no. If you wanted to come with Josh I would’ve understood. Don’t use me as an excuse you had all the time in the world to ask him and you didn’t, you don’t want to admit that you chickened out on the last second.”

“What if I did?” I reply sternly, “Is not like he wants to be with me, I’ll get hurt if I try”

“Dude, didn’t you see the way his brain short-circuited when he saw you? I could practically see the hearts floating around his head”

“But Sam-”

“Sam’s gone. If he can accept that, Why can’t you?”

That’s a good question. Why can’t I? 

Josh and I could be everything I always wanted, why am I so against it? It isn’t Alex. Josh wasn’t dating one of my friends, he’d broken up with Sam way before I had even returned to his life and we’re both so fitting for each other, why can’t I let myself enjoy life in the apocalypse? Why do I always have to feel sorry for myself?

“I think I’m still not over it,” I say, voice hoarse, “part of me doesn’t think I deserve something good happening to me after what I did to Katie.”

“That’s bullshit,” He frowns, “you spent most of your life looking after me whenever my parents weren’t home, made sure I always had food and slept well. You make sure all these kids are safe and clean their wounds when they need it, even with a sprained wrist. Shit, Y/N you’ve grown to be strong and you’ll be bigger than what you expect but please cut you some slack, let yourself be happy.”

“I think...” 

The music is loud on my left ear, barely leaving me room to think. What Alex wants me to do is to follow my heart, that I can hear loud and clear even with all the noise surrounding us tonight.

“I want a break. I wanna have all the little, ridiculous nice things that used to make me go all giggly inside”

“That means?”

“How about we dance until I can’t feel my feet?”

“And after that?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Seems appropiate”

Time flies when you’re having fun, specially when it’s during the night. I only realize it’s been three hours when Eli walks up to us and asks if we voted for a homecoming gender-neutral royalty since it’s about to close so they can start to count the votes and tell us who won before midnight.

Alex and I step to the voting box and when we’re done he lets me know that he has to go to the restroom so I’m left alone. 

I decide to use my free time wisely. I walk towards the stage and after a mute conversation Wesley agrees to put the song I asked for, I make my way towards Josh, who’s still cheerfully dancing around the mop.

I poke his back again and he turns around, smiling brightly when he sees me. He’s about to take off the earpods but I stop him, signaling him to listen to the next song.

I promise, dear reader, that this is the last time I’ll use PUBLIC as the soundtrack of my life. You can agree with me when I say this one demanded a place on the list. After all, it was Josh’s song but it also means something to me, the lyrics now more than ever, say everything I can’t dare to say directly at his face.

So now I’m asking you and Josh, to dance along to the beat of my love declaration.

“Oh, here we go again, on this ride Incapable of just being friends Always on my mind...”

He lifts his head up as soon as he hears the first few seconds of the song, smiling. I can read his lips saying “You found it!” and I nod, just as happy as him. I extend my hand and ask him quietly if he wants to dance this one with me and he takes my hand with no hesitation.

I know I’ve only known Josh for like, eight days. Without counting the time in highschool cause we didn’t know each other that well. 

I know that’s not enough time to say I love him, or that he’s the love of my life. Yet, is enough to know I like him and that I would love to know him better. I want to be with Josh as close as possible, all the time. Maybe the feeling will fade away, maybe he’s not the love of my life. 

I rather be with him until it fades away than letting the feeling die without trying.

“Waiting for something A message late at night Are you gonna say what you wanna say? Are we gonna do this right?”

At first, we dance awkwardly, slowly from one side to the other cause we don’t know how to dance like this: So officially. This is not a random day when we’re fooling around and dancing like stupid people. This is the homecoming do-over and we’re supposed to do it right.

Then we share one look of panic where both of us are like “oh my god, what the hell are we supposed to do with our arms?” and instantly relax cause we remember: “Hey, this is us, why are we trying so hard?”

“But I'm hesitating when I'm around you I can't escape that look in your eyes It's getting late and we're just talkin' My feels locked inside”

He takes my hands and makes me twirl and slide, we get stuck in some movements but none of us gets stressed about it. Meh, whatever, we’re having fun.

We aren’t talking, yet I feel like I’m having a whole conversation with just our eyes, he laughs when I accidentally step on his foot and I do it when he trips on his own feet. I’m not capable to look away, it’s just us here.

You know, maybe I’m imagining this, maybe I’m exaggerating what’s going on between us during this song. Does it matter? Life would be so dull if we saw our reality only in one way. Isn’t it better to think you’re the only person left in the world and witness as time stops for you to remember every single little, ridiculous detail that makes your life worth it?

This right here, is what makes my new life worth it: The people in it, the feelings I have whenever I’m around them.

Josh.

How everything is possible when I’m with him.

“'Cause you're the one that I want 'Cause you're the one that I need I just wanna fall in your arms So I'm begging down here on my knees”

He pulls me closer and I put my arms around his neck. I’m nervous at first, I’ve never been this close to him, besides the times when I crashed into him or that time back at the factory where I lost my cool and hugged him in front of everyone... okay fair, I’ve fallen into his arms plenty of times before.

This hits different because of the pretty lightning, the music that we both like, we’re wearing fancy clothing which is always a nice plus, the ambient feels so... normal. Finally, I got to have a little piece of my old life back.

I imagine that this is the actual Homecoming, Alex is somewhere with Stuart and somehow Josh and I kept talking after our school project, one thing led to another, then we came to the school dance together.

Think of all that could’ve been, if only I had decided to let go of my feelings for Alex sooner, to give this a chance. I could tell Josh was something special even if I didn’t like him that way, he always caught my eye one way or another.

Maybe if I’d talked to him one day back in Highschool to say more than just ‘Hi’, if I had invited him over to the movies with the rest of my friends, things would be different. I don’t know exactly how different, but perhaps, better.

The solo comes in and Josh uses the opportunity to take off one of his earpods and asks me to do the same. 

“This is the song you chose for the soundtrack?”

“You like it?” I grin.

“I can’t believe you used your only chance on a song that I wanted, that’s not cool!”

“Hey, who said I did it for you?” I tease, “I love that song, it’s a banger”

“You don’t think it was too much?”

“Why would it be too much?” I frown, “it’s good, not as corny as you make it sound”

“It wasn’t the song what I thought it was too corny,” He rolls his eyes, “I was planning on dedicating the song to someone”

“Oh,” I feel my blood run cold, and burn my chest at the same time, “to who?”

“Not important,” He shrugs it off, “she’s not available”

That’s it. That’s how the spell wears off. Josh has a crush on someone else.

Wait.

How can Josh be crushing on one of the other girls? For all I know, he barely knows like five people out of everyone here. The only girls he talks to are Angelica, KJ, Crumble and I. Angelica is a child, KJ has no dance partner, Crumble is like ten years older...

Is he talking about me?

“I wanna know, wanna go to the deep end Tired of all this actin' shy I wanna know, wanna go to the deep end”

He puts his earpod back on and I do the same. My mind is running wild to search for the next step after the song ends.

Should I tell him everything? How crazy will I sound if I tell him, ‘Hey, guess what? This was supposed to be my love declaration and it’s my way of saying I’m crushing on you, my friend.’

No, this is nuts. I can’t do it.

Oh my god, I can’t tell Josh.

I’m a coward. I’m such a gigantic coward but fuck, I can’t.

I feel his hand pressing lightly on my waist and I look up, his eyes are blue but they’re so clear that they reflect all the lights in the room, two little kaleidoscopes. I can’t stop looking, I’ve never been able to look away.

He asks me if I’m okay and I silently reply that he has nothing to worry about.

It’s true, he doesn’t have to worry, I will keep my mouth shut forever.

‘Y/N, what if he does have feelings for you?’ You're back with the nosy questions. Well, if he does, it’ll pass. Love isn’t constant.

It’s better this way, right? No strings attached means no one gets hurt and we stay together as a whole tribe.

Right?

“'Cause you're the one that I need That I need”

The song ends and we stay close to each other. Josh has this cute, tiny smile while he stares at me, I probably look like I’m worried sick. 

Shit, I need some time to think.

I take off both my earphones and step back.

“Thank you for allowing me one song with you,” I mumble, too nervous to speak like a normal human being.

“That’s cool, Mop-Sam was getting tired of me kicking her bucket anyway” I laugh, it’s a tense grin, barely cheerful. Josh notices right away, “It’s something wrong?”

“Alex must be looking for me,” I change the subject, playing with the straps of my romper, “I should go find him” 

“Alex,” Josh’s demeanor changes, now acting distant, “he’s probably worried.”

“It was nice,” I add, slowly backing up, “we should make this more often”

“Sure...”

I find Alex in no time and I decide to tell him everything, he’s completely understanding and I’m so relieved to have him back.

It’s like I’m so much lighter ever since... Ever since Josh found me.

“You need space to think,” Alex agrees, walking me towards a set of stairs, “go to the second floor, no one’s there right now. Clear your head, make a decisión, come back when you know what you’ll do and then we’ll enjoy the rest of the night without you overthinking every little detail” 

“Okay...”

“Promise?”

“Don’t get so pushy, Alex,” I complain, “I’ll try, okay? I can’t promise I’ll fix it tonight.”

“Fair,” He huffs, “now get your shit together, I’ll dance with Angelica in the meantime, I like her”

“Have fun...”

I do as Alex told me to, leaning over the rail so I can watch my former classmates dancing to a song I only hear on one ear, keeping the other earpod inside my pocket so I can listen if someone looks for me.

Should I accept my stupid fate? Give in and be like, ‘welp whatever God wants for me I’ll have it’ cause I’m honestly getting tired.

I’m an orphan with a bunch of kids I have to look after and a crush that is not over his dead girlfriend. I’m dumb. I need a good night of sleep and something besides pre-packaged food or I’ll die before I turn twenty of heart disease.

“There you are,” I turn around to see Josh, he already fucked his bow-tie, “I was starting to worry”

“Why?”

“I saw Alex dancing with Angelica, don’t take me wrong, that’s cute and all but... did you guys fight?”

“No?” I frown, “I needed a moment to clear my head. I’ve been stressed lately.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Josh stands beside me, “do you remember Sam’s video here?”

“The compliments video?” I smile, “It was sweet”

“You’re in it,” He grins.

“No, I’m not?”

“You are,” He pulls out his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, “I was watching it this afternoon while I was getting Mop-Sam ready and I saw you... There!”

He gives me his phone, the video is paused where Sam is holding the camera and Josh is the one facing it. Behind him, a bit far but still able to recognize our faces I see Alex and me, walking out of a shop.

“That’s me!” I exclaim, “I’d never noticed before...”

“Sam and I never saw you there,” He adds, “where were you?”

“Oh, we left early that day,” I reply, nervously avoiding any further explanation, “We had an argument, sort of, so I left”

“That’s too bad,” Josh frowns, “I’m sure Sam would’ve chosen you guys for the compliments”

“Maybe,” I sigh, “I wasn’t hunting for compliments that day”

“Or ever,” He jokes, “always running from compliments...”

“Hey! I can take a compliment,” I lightly slap his shoulder.

“Really?” My friend smirks, “okay then, let’s see...”

He takes the phone and steps back, pointing the camera to my face.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m about to make a compliment video”

“Please don’t.”

“You said you can take a compliment, I’m only checking if that’s true”

“Josh...” I whine, turning away from the phone.

“Y/N,” He speaks up, grinning, “Y/N! I wanna let you know that I think you’re cool and that your weapon is actually more badass than my katana. You looked really scary the first time I saw you hit a Ghoulie with that thing. Also, you have a terrible taste in colors but you’re clothes are always fun and you’re not afraid to wear them. You are fucking impressive, I’m impressed. All the time.”

“What?” I look over at him, still a bit camera-shy, “Josh, stop!”

“And your healer abilities rule. I think you should learn to use a skateboard, just cause it would look badass on your resume,” He laughs, “you make the best instant chicken noodle soup I’ve ever eaten and that’s important, I usually hate fast food.”

“I think that’s enough,” I chuckle, walking over to him and trying to put down the phone. Josh is taller so he easily avoids my hand, “c’mon!”

“You’re hilarious most of the time, the best sense of humor I’ve seen in years,” He continues, holding his phone above me and smiling like an idiot, “By the way, I was too blown away a few hours ago when I first saw you to say it, but you look beautiful tonight. You look good all the time. I like how you look all the time but I mean-”

“You’re rambling!”

“I... yeah I am,” Josh grins, “sorry. What I’m trying to say is... you’re so, so nice.”

I laugh loud enough to feel like I need to cover my mouth since everyone is silent downstairs, Josh and laughs with me, finally putting the phone away.

“You’re better now?”

“After that whole pro speech?” I joke, “Obviously, I’m ready to keep on dancing”

“Great,” He throws a fist in the air, guiding me towards the stairs, “It’s almost time to know the gender-neutral royalty”

“Where’s Mop-Sam?” I ask while we go downstairs.

“She got a bit jealous after we danced, I’m giving her space,” He whispers like is serious business.

“Oh, damn,” I put a hand in my mouth, faking surprise, “should I go over to apologize?”

“Nah, she’ll be fine,” Josh shrugs, “how about we get drinks instead?”

“I’d like that,” I nod, “before I go back and steal Alex from Angelica”

“Ha, yeah,” Josh passes a hand through his hair, “Oh! Do you mind if I put back both airpods? This is the song I asked for the soundtrack of our lives!”

“Not at all,” I smile, “How about you enjoy the song and I bring the drinks?”

“Thanks,” He says, putting the airpods back on.

I walk towards the table and see Wesley making his way over to Josh, I glance at them for a second and I notice how nervous Wesley looks. I stay still, listening. 

“I need to tell you... everything”

I put the cups downs and I listen as Wesley rambles about him and Turbo, I want to stop him cause I know Josh isn’t listening but I’m not sure Josh needs to listen to all this tonight. Why is he telling him this tonight?

“...You’re going to die because my ex-boyfriend can’t stand that you and I are friends”

Oh. Okay, that’s why.

Josh takes off one of the airpods.

“You put my song on the soundtrack of our lives,” He says, deeply touched, “Deltron 3030? Thanks for making me feel so cool, man”

“Did you hear what I said?” Wesley asks in disbelief.

“I thought you were just singing along,” Josh shrugs.

“I heard,” I get to Josh’s side, “all of it”

Now I understand why he insisted so much on me making a move tonight. he didn’t want to kill Josh before I could confess.

Wesley’s eyes widened and he starts to speak, the buzzer sets off and cuts his speech. It’s time for the gender-neutral royalty. Everyone applauds and cheers, I step closer to him and I whisper.

“What the fuck did you do?”

He gives me one desperate look before his name is mentioned and he has to go over to the stage, along with Mop-Sam. I look around and I lock eyes with Eli, who has a panicky expression, I immediately know he’s also in this. I walk over to him and I give him a pointed look.

“You’re planning on killing Josh?!”

“How the fuck did you find out?” 

“How the-? Oh my god, you were going to do it. I can’t believe it,” I hiss, “Was... was the whole makeover a distraction? It was, wasn’t it? Eli I... I trusted you”

“That’s exactly why I’m doing this,” He shakes his head, “I’m trying to protect all these kids, that’s what you want, right?”

“I want us to be a good tribe, a loyal one! Not a fucking Game of Thrones rip-off!” I exclaim.

“Is not important anyway!” Eli exclaims, “He was supposed to die with the crown but Wesley won, he’s gonna die instead!”

“He what?” I turn to see Wesley walking up the stairs, deadly silent, “Oh, you fucking stupid martyr”

I run over to the stage, the kids don’t let me get any closer. I scream his name, but so are the rest of the children. 

I’m not gonna make it, Wesley will die. 

They get closer to put the crown on top of his head and...

“STOP!” He slaps the hand away, the crown flying to the floor, “No one touch that crown!”

“Thank god,” I clean my forehead from the sweat and whisper: “man, you are stressful!”

“Turbo told me that he’s gonna come and kill you all. But I have a plan.”

“Oh, so you did have a better plan?” I frown, speaking loudly this time.

“I know how we can fight back,” He replies, then looks back a Josh, “you have to trust me”

Josh shakes his head clearly pissed, then looks down at where I’m standing.

“We don’t have time,” I cross my arms, “let him talk”

Wesley talks and we set up the mannequins, we wait.

Turbo gets here in no time, breaks the door’s chains and throws punches in the dark like a madman, he stops until every mannequin is on the ground, realizing his mistake. We walk out of our hiding spots, I had to go over to the pharmacy to get my hammer, I feel more than ready to break some bones if I have to.

“You’re not supposed to fight,” Josh whispers beside me, “your wrist is not okay”

“I’ll manage,” I reply dryly.

The fight begins. I don’t break any skulls or knees but I do manage to break bows and swords, I feel like I’m kicking serious ass when someone throws me on the ground, I fall on my face.

“Are you protecting all your children, Y/N?” Maya sneers above me, putting a foot on top of my head, “I bet you’re having fun-”

I hear her grunt and suddenly her body falls next to mine, someone grabs me by the arms and lifts me up. 

It’s Alex.

“You can eat shit, Maya,” Alex replies, handing me my hammer, “your wrist is swelling again, you have to stop”

“I’ll stop with the hammer,” I kick a Jock in the crotch, “I’ll start with my legs”

“Good enough,” Alex nods.

Suddenly a loud scream echoes in the room.

“Turbo’s hurt! Retreat!”

It’s almost like the room is on fire, the Jocks run away picking up their weapons and lifting up their friends from the ground. I don’t see Maya, yet I know she’s with them. I don’t see Turbo either.

We’re left a mess, all our things are on the ground and the floor is slippery, mixed with blood and soda. Alex was right, my wrist feels awful as well.

Josh waits until everything is deadly quiet and looks over to Wesley.

“I have to lock you up”

As soon as he says it, a bunch of kids surround Wes and drag him to the nearest store, I see Eli quietly chuckling and I speak up.

“Eli helped him,” I point over to him, “he has to go too”

“I was only trying to help!”

“You hid important information to the group, we can’t trust you as long as you keep playing to your convenience,” I reply.

Another group of kids take him, pulling the heavy metal curtain so they stay in their place.

“Y/N?” Angelica speaks next to me, “you need something for your wrist”

“I’ll ask you this one time,” I say, ignoring her comment, “Did you know what they were doing?”

“No!” She responds in honest outrage, I believe her.

“Then you’ll keep an eye on them while I go and take something for my wrist”

“I already have it here,” Alex throws a small container with pills that I catch with my good hand.

“Thanks,” I look over to Angelica, “you think you can do it?”

“I’ll be more than happy,” She replies, already sitting on the ground, facing the store.

“I’ll stay with her,” Alex says, “I think you should check on Josh... he just got a death threat and immediately after had to fight for his life. He might need to talk to someone”

“I’ll be right back,” My mind is a bit too fuzzy after the fight, but I think I can have a small conversation with Josh, “I’ll do that...”

I walk around asking if anyone has seen Josh, one tells me they saw him walk out to lock the mall’s doors again.

I find Josh in the middle of the parking lot, he’s standing there quietly.

“Josh?” I inch closer.

I get no answer, I can only see his back.

“How are you feeling?” I’m merely five feet away from him.

“Did you know?” He inquires coldly.

“What?”

“What Wesley and Eli were planning,” Josh explains, “Did you know?” 

“No,” I say, “I had no idea. I heard though, when Wesley was talking to you moments before the crowning”

Josh turns around, tearing up.

“You didn’t help them?” He steps closer to me, his breathing faltering, “You swear you’re not lying?”

“No!” I repeat, this time exasperated, “Josh, I would never hurt you. I promised, remember? I’m with you.”

He looks at me with the same odd expression he makes every time I say something he’s not expecting to hear. 

My wrist is hurting but there’s also a warmth that spreads through it thanks to the ointment and the pills. I stand there, with nothing else to say. 

I don’t know what to ask. Josh doesn’t want to talk, I can see it on the way he keeps his mouth tightly shut.

Instead, he kisses me.

“And they all fall down...”

Taglist.

@letsbloodmagic @slythermyg  

[aleapoffaithfiction]

XIII.

I wanna know how much time you spent on them paragraphs Where you're getting me All that grey in our conversation history, you Playin' mind games, when you sayin' things 

“Stop, stop, stop. I’m done for the day. I’m…done.”

Beads of perspiration tickled the edges of my forehead as I quickly snatched a towel off of the couch and hobbled out of the living room. My momma’s sigh was loud enough for me to have heard it as I continued to distance myself from what was mentally and physically draining me minute by minute. Hisses spilled from my lips with every step that I took, but I continued to walk as best as I could until I was secluded from the hecticness happening within the house.

Dorsiflexion, plantarflexion, inversion, eversion, bilateral calf raises, unilateral calf raises, and everything else; I couldn’t take another second of it no matter how hard I tried to push myself through. With every movement, there’s this terrifying anxiety that washes over me and it causes me to want to take a seat and leave my ankle alone. I’ll never forget the feeling of when it snapped as I hit the ground. The wail that left me still haunts my conscious. As I was carted off of the field to be seen by the medical staff, I leaned over and threw up by the time we were deep into the tunnel. The excruciating pain evoked a trembling that I could not stop and the reality of my season being over worsened it. They didn’t have to tell me what I already knew.

The angst I dealt with while in the hospital took just as much of a toll on me as the injury itself. It might have even been worse. No matter how many drugs they pumped into me just to comfort me enough to send me into a slumber, I could still feel almost all of the discomfort and a never-ending throbbing from the surgical procedure performed to repair it. My stomach remained in knots while waves of nausea would randomly hit me from all of the morphine. My momma and Sarai kept stuffing me with food to decrease my complaints about it. With every doctor and nurse that walked in and out of the room for the week that I was there, it felt like a whirlwind that I was never going to be able to get out of. I’m thankful for my loved one’s efforts to be up there with me as much as they could, because I know I would have had some kind of a breakdown if I weren’t distracted by their conversations, jokes, card games, and overnight stays.

I’ve been doing two sessions of physical therapy per day for a little over a week now and despite their insistence that all is well, I can’t help but to feel like one wrong move will have me starting this process all over again. My ankle doesn’t feel the same. No matter how much they emphasize the fact that I’m still within the healing phase, it doesn’t stop me from noticing how unsteady I feel without the walking boot on and the difference in how the bone used to feel. Time is of the essence. I know that now more than ever, but my mental state isn’t there just yet.

During interviews, I get asked all the time, what would I be doing if I weren’t playing football and half of the time I either give a bullshit response or I genuinely respond that I don’t know. I really don’t know and I don’t want to know. Ever since I was a kid, I knew I’d be professional athlete. Whether it was basketball, soccer, baseball, or football, I was assured in myself making it. Football came to me the easiest and put me in the best position to go pro, so I put my all into it. I love my job. It can be a rollercoaster ride of different emotions and predicaments, but I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. God has to be on my side with this. My ankle has to heal right.

“Hey. You okay?” Her soft tone immediately caught my attention and I panned my eyes in my momma’s direction as she stood in the doorway. Her lack of entry was her way of giving me some space.

“I’m good. I’m good.” At least, I want to be.

“What’s bothering you?”

“It just doesn’t feel the same. I’ve been injured before. You know I fractured two bones in my back at Newman. Of course, my rookie year in the league, I tore my hamstring twice. But this shit? I don’t know. I was confident in my comeback for those, but it’s hard to paint the picture now with it feeling like my ankle is capable of snapping again at any minute. Excuse my language, by the way. Sorry for cursing.”

“You had more x-rays done two weeks ago and we spoke to both the surgeon and the specialist. There isn’t a better fix than the one that you have right now. You wouldn’t have been cleared for physical therapy if it wasn’t time. You’re still healing son. It’s not going to happen overnight. This is much different from your fractured back and hamstring issues. Give it some time.”

“I’m trying to.”

“It’s only been a little under three months since the operation. The road to full recovery continues.”

“Right.” I didn’t mean to sound dismissive, but I’m tired of thinking about it. None of this was on my mind while I was in New Orleans.

“Why don’t you try the aquatic therapy before you end the day? It’ll be like yesterday with you just lying in the water. He said it’s the last thing he wanted to do with you before they get out of here anyway.” I rarely ever take naps, but I’d rather do that so that I can shut down my thoughts for a while rather than sitting in some water and wallowing in them even more.

“Alright. Give me a minute.”

I was in no rush to move. What should have taken two minutes or less turned into ten. My slow trailing to the master bathroom was deliberate and yet the patience remained between both my momma and one of the many physical therapists and trainers I’m going to be working with before this entire process is all said and done.

“Give me twenty minutes Beckham and you’re done. I won’t push you any further. You’ve done very well today.”

“Alright. Cool.”

In an effort to shift my thoughts elsewhere, I put my wireless Beats headphones over my head. Drake’s “Nothing Was the Same” served as my sitting soundtrack. His discography was the last thing I was listening to anyway, so I might as well continue on with it.

I miss you.

An alert with Sarai’s message popped up at the top of the screen and my eyes instantly narrowed at the words she chose to send. Thoughts of her is something else I’ve been trying to avoid since I opened my eyes this morning and it’s been the hardest task of them all.

I knew life would go back to normal once the jet landed in Teterboro, New Jersey and we were back into the reality of our lives outside of one another but I didn’t know it would turn into over a week of nothingness. I know the hours she works five days a week can be exhausting, so I’m more than willing to come to her to make it easier but Taylor being in town has kept me at way more than just an arm’s length away from her.

All I’ve been left with is watching her every morning on the show and the occasional text messages she’d send to check on me; not even phone calls. Yesterday afternoon, she told me that she planned to come and spend the night with me and I eagerly held her to that until she flaked on me late last night with an excuse of being too tired to move off of her couch. So, her missing me isn’t holding much weight right now. I don’t doubt it, but I’m ten minutes away. It doesn’t take much to see me.

I thought I was going to sleep with you last night and waking up to you this morning. You wouldn’t have had to miss me if that happened.

I believe in the savior, I read the bible, although it’s not as often as it should be, and I wholeheartedly believe in all of the plans that he has for me. I’m not as prone to look into anything beyond that when it comes to souls and spirituality but I’ve found myself in a space of wonder and now a quiet acceptance at what I’ve felt since we landed in my home. In my choice to invite her out there, I thought it would be a nice getaway for herself and a way to further us getting to explore things about one another that you’ll never be able to find on the internet. That exploration has emotionally driven me to a point of no return.

Just the sound and sight of her laughter evoked responses from my body that I know she didn’t notice with her keen eyes but I certainly felt within me. Whether it was the fluttering with my stomach or my need to protect her intensifying; it was there. Every conversation we shared stored into my memory, word by word, and played back many times over so they’d forever be engraved.

Our quiet outings with one another didn’t feel like dates. I feel like there are expectations and far too many impressions that you need to leave on a person whenever the date title is involved, although I don’t mind using it. With Sarai, it just felt like I was hanging out with one of my best friends. What impressed us didn’t involve extravagance. She actually scolded me for renting such a massive space for us to reside in during our stay. All we did was eat and bask in one another and the time we were able to spend away from here. Mentally, I never mustered up a single thought about our intimacy going beyond us only spending time together without any outside interruptions. Despite my quiet yearning for her, there was no pressure or haste for any of that. Throughout that day, I could feel a shift in the energy between us. I couldn’t quite explain it or comprehend what it meant, but the way it radiated between the two of us said far more than any words spilling from our lips ever could.

Our limbs only responded to what our souls were calling for. Every inch of her connected to me in a perfection that I’ve never experienced in the life that I’ve lived thus far. Her taste; my God. Anything that has gone through the test of my tasting is incomparable. Her nectar distinctively tastes like it’s made solely for me and I’m drunkenly hooked; I can never have enough of it.

As my flesh drowned into hers, I lost myself into her world. My awareness solely became hers. It became my mission to learn her every tick, gasp, and need. Nothing else mattered. Her haven welcomed me, leaving me safe and sound within her arms. The tears that filled her eyes evoked a flood of them into mine. She rendered me to speechlessness.

I could only show her my every emotion. I didn’t know I was waiting for her until now. I didn’t know how much I needed her until now. How could such flawlessness exist? I….just. How can I put it into words? It’s never been this way for me before. I’ve always been someone in control of most things about myself and of what I allow into my life but Sarai? She’s shaken me up to the core. I am willingly at her mercy. I know no other way to be for her.

It’s unnerving and yet beautiful all at once. I find myself laughing at myself because I never thought I’d be here. After all of the juvenile conversations I’ve had with my pops and a shit ton of my friends, I figured the bachelor or temporary relationship life would be it for me until I randomly settled down with some long-term girlfriend later on down the line. As they all put it, it would be less troublesome and no paperwork involved. I could see why the easy way out is appealing, but the harsh reality is that it wouldn’t be worth it.

I’m sorry, babe. I really was tired. After finishing up an episode of the Podcast yesterday evening, I ended up having to head right into the city for a birthday dinner. By the time I got home, I had no energy to do anything other than sleep.

I don’t even want to argue. What’s the point of doing so over something that’s such an easy fix?

So, what’s our plans for tonight then?

Shep is throwing Chanel a surprise gathering in a venue room in condominium they currently reside in. He’s proposing to her at some point today and then the party is celebrating that and her birthday tonight. He and I had a couple of conversations about the deep love that he has for her and he’d been telling me that he found the one for him maybe a month or two after they got into a relationship. I remember when he came over here to tell me that he planned to propose and I wasn’t shocked in the slightest. I just told him how proud I am of him for taking such a huge step and jokingly said that I wouldn’t be doing it any time soon.

Sterling reached out to me and invited me to a party tonight for Chanel. I’m sure that you know about it and will most likely be there. I have an event that I have to go to prior to it but I may stop by to give her my love.

I almost ruined the surprise aspect of the party two days ago. I was in the car with Shep and I took the phone from him and told her that we’d see her on Friday for her birthday, but thankfully she didn’t think anything of it. He didn’t tell me he was inviting Sarai though, with his sneaky ass.

And after that?  

If my ankle wasn’t in its current state, I’d suggest that we go skiing this weekend. I can’t afford the possibility of falling though; at least not right now. We’ll have to hold off on that until next year around this time.

Your place.

Taylor must still be around.

I’m holding you to that.

If she shows up to the party tonight, we can just proceed back here from there, hopefully together.

You have my word. See you tonight.

Now what the hell am I going to wear?

“Where you heading to momma?” I pulled my red Supreme x Louis Vuitton hoodie over my head before glancing over at her. The comfort wear she had on earlier was gone and she switched up into stuff she typically wears when she’s heading out for a night on the town. The Chanel bag on her shoulder is one of those random gifts from me. I picked it up the other day because I felt like she’d like it. I got something for my baby too.

“Dinner with Tammy. You need anything before I head out?”

“Nah. I’m good.”

“Make sure you give Chanel and Sterling my love. Tell them I said congratulations. I’m so thrilled for them.”

“I will.” With the pictures the two of them shared on social media, the news is already heavily circulating around all of the social media apps.

“You coming back home tonight?”

“Yeah, why?” A snicker slipped out as I glance over at her again. Where did that question come from?

“I don’t know. It’s the weekend. I figured you’d be hanging out or something.”

“Yeah, I’m going to the party. After that, I’m supposed to kick it with Sarai here.” That’s what she really wanted to know but she just didn’t want to be obvious with her nosiness.

“Oh good. That way you can stop moping around here.”

“Moping? I haven’t been moping.”

“Oh yes you have. The last time I seen you smile extra hard was over a week ago when we all had breakfast together before you two left to fly back home. Since then, you’ve been around here with the sour face. Oh, young love. I miss those days.”

“Yeah, okay momma.” As I playfully rolled my eyes, she giggled and shook her head. She’s nearly as blissful about this as I am. She spent more time conversing with Sarai in the kitchen than she did with me the morning before we left. It turns out they share quite a bit in common, including running track and field in high school and their love of fashion.

“Give her my love too. Maybe she and I can have that lunch date we spoke about. I’ll shoot her text tomorrow.”

“I will.”

Once I grabbed my phone to look at the time, I immediately sucked my teeth because I’m damn near late. That brief nap I took ran over far more time than it should have. I should have been ready a long ass time ago and I’m still standing here in the mirror, putting on jewelry.

“I need to get out of here. I hope the driver is outside.”

I would have driven myself over there, but I don’t know how much I’m going to drink tonight and I’d rather not risk having to sleep on Shep’s couch on the night that he got engaged to the love of his life. That’s cockblocking on a whole new level.

“Be safe tonight.”

“Will do. I left the car keys on the coffee table for you.” As soon as I clasped my watch on my arm, I slipped my phone into my pocket and shut all of the lights off in my bedroom. Yet again, I sucked my teeth and turned around to turn a few of them back on. I couldn’t leave without making up the bed. It would be tasteless of me to have her lay in it with the blanket and the sheets all over the place. Lastly, I jogged into the closet and grabbed one of my practice t-shirts to place on her side of the bed so she’ll have something to sleep in.

“The car is here!”

“On my way down right now.”

I didn’t even bother with turning off the lights again. I just grabbed Chanel’s gift, trekked down the stairs, gave my momma a kiss, and ran out of the door. I already know Shep is like five seconds off of calling to see where I’m at.

When we first spoke about the surprise party, initially the plans were to do something bigger but after taking Chanel’s personality into consideration and the importance of the moment, the intimate setting fit better. From the time I walked through the doors, I appreciated the vibe. There’s nothing industry about it. There’s no paparazzi flooding the front of the building, like it would have been if he booked out some nightclub in Manhattan.

There are no cameras or media personalities walking around the partying looking for some hot take to post for the sake of driving up the website traffic for whatever publication or blog they work for. The only camera being worked around the room is Jeff’s and he’s doing so to create memories for the happy couple. Aside from our teammates, who we consider to be our brothers, no one here is really what anyone would consider to be industry and I’m glad of that.

“This nigga really has on a Supreme walking boot. You can’t get no swaggier than that.” Otto drew attention to my boot as soon as he pointed down at it and I instantly stuck out my foot to show it off in a playfully exaggerated manner. Every time I wear this thing, it’s pointed out with some kind of commentary. It’s definitely something I would do, but I can’t take credit for it this time. Sarai gets it all, though I can’t brag on it by saying that.

“Aye, you know me.”

I dipped my chip down into the dip bowl for yet another round of the snack that I’ve damn near eaten all of. It’s been a minute since I’ve been to a party with a good ass dip. Shep gon’ have to tell me where that came from.

“Thank you for the gift lil’ big bro. I can’t wait to wear it.” Chanel wrapped me into another bear hug. I’d gotten her a diamond necklace made with Shep’s number on it that’s identical to the one that I got for him. I remembered her talking about stealing his, so I figured I’d get her one made so it wouldn’t have to come down to that. It falls right in line with that corny couple shit that they love anyway.

“It’s no problem. I’m happy for ya’ll. I appreciate you for making my lil’ brother happy. You really are his whole heart.”

“And he’s mine.” Her eyes panned down to my phone for a brief second. I’d just liked the picture Sarai shared on Instagram. She’s covered in velvet from head to toe and she looks absolutely incredible. I couldn’t just skim away from it like I’d do any other picture on my timeline.

“And she’s yours huh? I think she’s coming tonight.”

“I heard.”

“Look at how your eyes just lit up. I’m happy for you too.”

“Happy about what?” As hard as it is, I had to play it off for the sake of practice. I’ve always been private and reserved about certain aspects of my life, but with this, sometimes I just want to proudly scream it from the mountain tops. Sometimes I want to be just as proud as the next man who is happily committed to someone.

“You know what I’m happy about. Besides, your boy can have a big mouth sometimes. I’ve heard about a lot, including the trip.” Her wink immediately made me look over at Shep, who had been dancing by the ping pong table for the past couple of minutes.

“Aye Shep! We on that table!” I shouted loud enough to be heard over the music and he instantly threw me a thumbs up in agreement for the ass whooping that’s about to come. He’s not seeing me in ping pong.

“Aw. I didn’t mean to put you in the hot seat.”

“You didn’t. It’s cool.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s cool. I’m good.”

I don’t know what to say about her and I. I know what I want to say but none of that can be it. I had to choose somebody to fully confide in and Shep was it. I just needed an ear to not only vent about the frustrating times we’ve had thus far, but also to excitedly discuss how joyed I am. I figured if anyone could relate to me and what I’m feeling right now, it had to be him so he’s my go to. While my momma and siblings know the basic aspects of she and I, Shep knows it all…down to the ultimate intimacy we’ve shared.  

Based upon Sarai’s standards, that’s probably one too many people. I stand firm in my belief that no one on her end knows about me; not even Taylor.

“You ready for this ass whooping?”

“A hundred dollars on it?” I knew he’d turn it into a bet.

“Bet.”

What started out as an intense and yet hilarious game turned into nothing more than us dancing around the table to Future songs. Our locker room antics made its way to the small area that didn’t have any furniture and a dance off began. Aside from being on the field, it’s what I’ve been missing the most. After practice or after one hell of a game, we ease the tension away by putting on a Beats Pill in the locker room and just rocking out right in the middle of the floor. Sometimes we’ll even get Eli’s off beat ass into the mix.

I catch plenty of criticism for all of the dancing, but I really don’t give a fuck about any of that. I’ve learned since coming into the league how much people aim to deliberately steal your joy because they’re either miserable or just don’t want to see you being happy. I can’t live my life trying to please people like that because I’ll end up in that same mental space.

“Throw on that Free Smoke!”

Italian bergamot sprinkled with warm cinnamon slithered past my nose. Cocoa and hints of jasmine left me in a state of total surrender as I stood still, looking like the odd one amongst the rowdy crew. I smelled her before I could see her. It’s the same exact scent that oozed from her skin the night I left my kisses on every part of her that I desired to. Those chargrilled oysters we had with the crawfish were nothing in comparison to the aphrodisiac that is her scent. I can feel myself flinching in my pants and I’ve yet to turn around.

All it took was a glance over my shoulder for me to see her wrapped up into Chanel’s arms. In her hands were two shopping bags from Gucci. Like women tend to do, they were fawning over one another with compliments and kisses to their cheeks. Her milk chocolate skin illuminated under the dim lighting with a glow unlike any other woman in the room, including the bride to be. I know it to be true, because what was once a crew of dancers, turned into an audience for her.

“Sarai!”

Shep left us all to stand there looking like morons. As the seconds went by, I was the last moron standing in place. If they weren’t going to greet her, they were going to meet her. Though she’d protest against anyone ever deeming her to be anything of the sort, she became the power in the room just that quickly.

Our eyes met briefly. Her wave was like that of one that she’d give a stranger randomly walking by. It was calculated and without emotion. I could only nod in response to it. The table I was once sitting at awaited me and I returned to it without much said. What could I say anyway?

“You good?” I threw back another glass of Ace of Spades with a nod. I could smell the Hennessy on his breath as he flopped down into the chair next to me. My stomach couldn’t handle dark liquor tonight, especially not mixed in with champagne. I’ll be throwing up my insides in no time If I try it.

“I’m good.”

“Otto tryna’ steal your girl.” Oh, I know. His mouth may not be saying it, but his eyes are. If he bites his lip one more time, I just might launch this bottle at his head. He’s over there deliberately standing amongst the women just to be in her face.

“I know. I see him.” The amusement on Shep’s face said it all. He’s entertained by all of this.

“You should see your face. You look like you want to kill him. That’s why I came over here. Cool down tiger.”

“I’m cool.”

“You in love huh?” I don’t even want to talk about love and if I’m in it right now. Love is complex. Is that why I’m in a maze right now?

“Shep, my girl is in the room, and I can’t speak to her. I have to sit here and watch my teammate all but ask for her number, and I can’t say a motherfucking thing. You want to talk about love when we’re in that type of space?”

“Yeah, because you wouldn’t be reacting this way if it weren’t involved.”

“I’m not reacting.”

“But you are. I just said that you look like you want to kill something. You look like one wrong move and you’re going to fuck up this party.”

“I would never do that.”

“I know that, but you’re on the edge. You’re my brother. I can see it. It’s nothing wrong with it. She is too. You just have your heart on your sleeve.” And that’s the frightening part.

“Yeah, just me.”

“Not just you. Just you within this moment.”

“Why did I have to go the complex route? Look at you and Cha Cha. Ya’ll are happy and just living life. There are no restrictions or obstacles in your way. My situation? It’s nothing but that. I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life, bro. At one point, all I could think about was winning chips. It’s what drove me, aside from making sure that my family is good. It still does, but now, the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning is her. I’m going to sleep thinking about her. I’m thinking about shit for my life that I swore off.”

“So, love.” His laughter wasn’t loud enough to draw attention to us but I could hear it well enough as I watched her shake hands with Brad. He and I go way back to LSU, but I’ll still check his ass if need be.

“Whatever, man.”

“Nothing worth something comes to you easily. That can be said for anything in life. Chanel and I were not as easy as you assume. We just worked at it from the very beginning and shit just flowed. She played hard to get for a lil’ minute. You know that.”

“I know.”

“Ya’ll got something special. I know it because I’ve never seen you like this before. I’ve never even heard you talking like his. We talk about God all the time. What you were once just admiring and thought was a silly crush made its way into your life and proved itself to be something for you. I don’t think that’s some coincidence. What’s for you is for you. Trust it. Those are your words, not mine. I just believe in them just as much as you do now.” During one of our earlier conversations about all of this, I did say that. I still don’t think it’s a coincidence. It’s a blessing for sure, but even your blessings come with a couple of lessons to learn.

“I hear you.”

“Alright then, so get your ass up.”

I thought we were going back to the ping pong table, but he was pulling me out there to dance. This time around, it wasn’t just an all guy thing. We got the women in the room involved in too. Sarai? Not so much. She sat with a cup of soda in her hand and exhaustion in her eyes. The long work day and whatever event she attended tonight drained out whatever energy she had left.

“Bruh, I might shoot my shot. I know so many have tried and failed, but fuck it. I’m willing to take the L.” Liquid courage revved up Otto’s boldness as he hung off my shoulder and ogled at the prize; my prize. In an instant my jaw clenched.

“She doesn’t look like she’s up for that.” And neither am I.

“She looks like she’s chilling to me. You got some gum or something?”

“Nah.”

“Aye man. Chill out. Abort that mission immediately. She out of ya league playboy.” Shep’s joke earned laughter out of the both of them. It served as a much needed distraction. Instead of approaching her, he was now wrapped up in a senseless conversation while I leisurely made my way across the room to be within inches of her presence.

“Tired?” As soon as I extended my hand, she latched hers onto it for a handshake. The warmth of her palm soothed the pressure within my shoulders and back effortlessly. Apprehension filled her eyes as she turned her head from side to side to take in the room.

“Very.”

“Head start?” I reached into my pocket for my keys and slowly withdrew them. Her eyes instantly widened.

“Beckham.”

“No one is paying attention to us. Just shake my hand again.” As she had done just a moment ago, she placed her hand onto mine and just like that, my house keys were in her possession.

“See you in a bit.”

I walked away before she had a chance to tell me to do so and within minutes, she began to make her rounds to bid her goodbyes to those who she knew. She spoke with Chanel for an extended time, as I expected, and with a final wave and thanks for the invitation, she left out as quietly as she came in. Her head start wouldn’t be too extended because I’m getting out here soon. I don’t need to become any tipsier than I already am. The next morning hangover is never pretty.

“We don’t have save the dates or anything like that ready, but I’m telling you now that I need you as one of my groomsmen.” I immediately dapped him in appreciation. I’ve only been to one wedding in my life and the experience was boring as hell if you ask me. I need some sort of redemption and I’m honor to be a part of one of my closest friends’ big day.

“You got it brother. Just let me know when and where. We gon’ make that bachelor weekend something epic.”

“Ya’ll better. Not too crazy though.”

“Look at you. Already washed up and you ain’t even walk down the aisle yet.”

“You starting to look a little washed too brother.” His laughter was solo. If he didn’t think I lived out Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin” verse every day, he wouldn’t find any of this so funny. I was and am not that damn bad.

“You know what, I’m out. You clowning.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know where you’re rushing too. It’s cool. Hit me tomorrow.”

“Bet. Congratulations again. As your pops, I couldn’t be any prouder of you son.”

“Man, if you don’t go somewhere.”

After our shared hug, I didn’t go around the room for any goodbyes, because if I did, I would have been there for another hour. My parting was general and I left out after using the bathroom.

Having to ring my own doorbell may have been the funniest part of the night. Initially, it was awkward, but I ended up slightly laughing when an annoyed Sarai opened the door after I pressed the bell one too many times.

I didn’t expect so much darkness when I stepped into the house. She hadn’t gone anywhere besides the living room because it was the only light on. My momma beat us here, because the car’s in the driveway. She has to be sleeping.

“Really?” I figured she’d go straight to bed, but instead, she returned back to her position of being sprawled out on all of the floor with not just Mowgli and Eris, but Khan and Blackjack too. She had The Wood on to preoccupy her time. She hadn’t even taken off her jacket. The heels were off though.

“If I didn’t stay awake, how else were you going to get in?”

“I thought you’d at least change your clothes.”

“You want me walking around your home in a t-shirt while your mother’s here? That may not be the best idea.” Usually as soon as I walk in the door, all four of the dogs are at my feet and awaiting my attention. Tonight, they didn’t even flinch at the sight of me. She’s not only casted her spell on me, but on them too.

“You hungry or thirsty?”

“I had some coconut water when I came in. I’m alright. I think I may be coming down with something. Like a flu, maybe.”

“Like a stomach flu?” As she leaned forward, I flopped down on the couch behind her and she leaned her back against it again. My next move was to grab her ponytail so that I could run my fingers through it.

“No. Like a cold or something. I have a headache and my throat is slightly sore. Maybe it’s because I’m tired and have been talking all day. I hope it’s that.”

“Want some aspirin?”

“I took some already. I keep a bottle in my bag.”

“You should just go to bed then. It’s not like you have to get up in the morning. You can sleep in. I won’t bother you.” We’ll be sleeping in together, because I’m tired my damn self. I’ve been up since six. That nap did nothing for me.

“After the movie. I just put it on. You had therapy today?”

“Yeah.” Though we can talk to one another about anything, I didn’t want to say much of anything about that. After today’s frustration, I feel like somewhat of a failure.

“How was it?”

“It wasn’t my best effort. Every time I step down on it with all of my weight, it just feels unsteady. The discomfort isn’t easy either. Shit, I’m feeling some soreness from all of the dancing I was doing tonight.” The movie became an afterthought as she turned around and reached for the boot, she gifted to me. The dogs and myself looked on as she slowly released the straps and pulled it off. Relief washed over me when I felt the freeness.  

“What are you doing?” My feet aren’t the prettiest. I didn’t expect her to pull my sock off but she did. Slowly, her fingers kneaded into my ankle. Yet again, it’s another moment of me wondering if she’s real or mythical.

“You have to trust it. Most of all, you have to trust yourself. Once you do that, all of the worry will be behind you.”

“I’m working on that.”

“You know your body better than anyone else does. You take better care of your body than most people I know. I read how you put at least three hundred thousand dollars into your body during the off season to make sure you’re well and ready for the fall. This is no different. Believe in your process and the ankle will follow.” She leaned her head down and aligned her lips at the beginning mark of the surgical scar. Finally, she trailed kisses down its entirety and back up to the beginning point where she started. Chills gradually trickled all over my frame as I lay there in silence. Sometimes I can’t stand the sight of that scar and here she is, kissing it.

“Flaws and all, Beckham. Flaws and all.”

“Thank you.”

It’s one thing to quietly hope that someone accepts you with any flaws that you may come with, but it’s something spiritual to hear it being told to you. I’ve known of her acceptance since she stood up for me. It was the first time in a long time that I not only felt understood, but also properly seen, heard, and genuinely applauded.

“Just trust it.” She placed one last kiss over my scar and lazily flopped back down into the position she was once in before.

Though she missed a few minutes of the movie, she didn’t bother with rewinding it. My fingers found their way back into her ponytail as I attempted to watch it along with her. It failed to keep my attention for more than ten minutes. No matter how hard I tried stay awake, my body’s plea for sleep won.

“Sarai.” The TV read just ten minutes after five in the morning. What started off as a comfortable sleep turned into me tossing and turning for more space than I had. I should have gotten in the bed in the first place.

“I know you not asleep on that floor.”

The dogs were still there but she wasn’t. The boots were no longer alongside the couch and instead of her black bag still being on the coffee table, my keys were there.

Suddenly the urge to fall back to sleep ceased as disappointment overwhelmed me.