#i could only commit to this for like an hour and a half lol sorry

[keplercryptids]

[image description copied from alt text: a cartoony drawing of an npc from my d&d game, z'ress. they are a slender drow with dark purple skin, white freckles, and white hair in braids. he's wearing a cropped baggy gray hoodie, black sweatpants and yellow boots. One hand is resting on top of their head and they're looking at the viewer with a slight smirk. The background is yellow, fading to white at the bottom of the frame.]

just a quick cartoony dood of the dude

[twstjam]

Lost Invitation (Part 2) - Respond, if you please

Sorry, I said half an hour, but blocking people took a bit longer than expected <3 Starting from now I'll be blocking everyone who likes Lost Invitation without reblogging it. If you reblog it onto a sideblog and I've blocked your main, do tell me or you might miss out on updates!!

Characters: Malleus Draconia, Meleanor Draconia, Levan Draconia, Lilia Vanrouge, Silver (brief), Sebek Zigvolt (mentioned), Yuu (mentioned) Word count: 4.6k (sorry, I got carried away writing the draconia fam lol) Summary: You're committed to helping Riddle Rosehearts and his card soldiers in a war against followers of the Jabberwock looking to usurp the rulers of Red and White. You're also in love with a stranger you met in the woods who wants you to run away with him. Whoever said that love and war weren't so different might've been onto something. In your experience, they're both equally difficult. Nobody ever said that you had to choose between one or the other though. Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Prince Malleus Draconia is not lonely.

He hasn't been since before he hatched, his mother had made sure of it. He has faded memories of dozing off to his mother's soft singing, listening to his father's long ramblings, and curling up in the safety of the right-hand general's presence.

After hatching, his mother had doted on him like any prince of the Briar Lands deserved to be. Her and Father had indulged his every whim and desire. The servants bowed and trembled before the wrath of a newly-born dragonling who, though only three feet long, snarled his grievances accompanied by licks of fire and brewing snowstorms. Lilia Vanrouge was the only one to not kneel so easily.

Malleus Draconia was a prince and a hatchling, but Lilia did not treat him as such. Lilia scolded him like he would Mother, a matured dragon, and only complimented or rewarded him when he earned it. Needless to say, he was not favored amongst the little prince's guardians… or so Lilia says as he laments on the times Malleus used to set his hair ablaze. It had enlightened Malleus as to why the general currently wears his hair so short as opposed to the portraits he'd seen, but the prince—as it is the nature of fleeting old memories—cannot vividly recall his caretaker's tales. They also struck him as incredibly odd and he concluded that as an infant he had been a foolish thing (despite his parents' insistence otherwise). After all, Lilia is his most favored caretaker. This favoritism had even led to Malleus seeking Lilia out when he had hidden himself away one day, giving the prince the honor of being the first to meet the general's adopted son.

Silver had been an enigma to him. How could a meek little human infant, a species which his mother mocked frequently for their weakness and stupidity, appeal to a hardened fae general? It was even stranger to him that Mother seemed to completely forget her disdain for humans when she saw the little bundle in Lilia's arms. Though he would never say it aloud, Malleus had felt betrayed when his mother had asked to hold the child and took him from Lilia eagerly.

This little… thing, could not even hold itself up or eat solid food, let alone seek it out itself. It was useless and weak and nothing like the fierce creature Malleus had been when he broke out of his shell. Or at least, that's what Malleus used to think.

Truly, Malleus must not have been as exceptional of an infant as his parents insist. Malleus had spent 20 years crawling, meanwhile Silver mastered walking on two legs in mere months. Instead of cawing and snarling, the child babbled and laughed, elicited smiles from those around him, made warmth swell in Malleus's chest when he called the prince's name for the first time. The boy had still been small, not even 5 years old, and yet he had been able to climb up Malleus's legs and sit on his lap when he had invited him to read with him.

Sebek exhibited similar speed in growth. Malleus had blinked, and suddenly the little halfling had risen from a screeching newt into a strong guard that rivaled his own grandfather. Sebek likes to shadow him, always quick to see to his every need and always eager to win his approval. It's overbearing at some points, but the boy is growing and learning and has come to put his loyalty to use for only matters worthy of it, learning from Lilia and Silver to not merely agree to Malleus's every breath.

The revelation for such a change brought all four of them closer. It's not rare to see the two young knights by the prince's side, the former general watching after them from not far off.

Suffice to say, Malleus Draconia is not lonely. Absolutely not.

As a matter of fact, he quite likes being alone; the peacefulness of isolation, the escape from his demanding responsibilities. He has to return to the castle at some point of course. He has duties to his kingdom, but no matter how brief, he takes the opportunity to have some time for himself. To have some time to indulge his desires instead of being Prince Malleus; to be away from the expectations of his subjects and parents and instead cater to only himself.

He never quite expected to meet someone searching for something similar. At the very least, not at the same place, and you continued to surprise him in ways he could have never imagined.

After all, who could have predicted that a revered dragon prince of the fae would fall in love with a human?

----

Perhaps to any other, days at Wild Rose Castle could be considered dull, either because of the dim lighting and black walls or the castle staff that always hurry by without a whisper of a breath and with bowed heads.

If one were to ask Malleus however, he would say that days at the castle are always hectic. It's a good day when the castle is serenely dark and gloomy, but on others…

"Your DISGRACE of an offspring is a pathetic sprite unworthy of my son! How DARE you even consider a courtship between them?!"

Lightning fills the throne room with a bright purple light. Three aristocrats yelp and scramble to avoid the strikes of lightning coming down from the ceiling. Princess Meleanor's glare is deadly as she lifts and aims her staff to bring down another volley of lightning.

"P-p-please forgive us for our transgressions, your excellency!" the patriarch weeps as his family collapses to the floor in frantic bows. From his throne, Malleus can see the family's young heir trembling with choked sobs. His mother isn't the least bit appeased, her glare hardening and her staff crackling with power.

"ENOUGH! I will not tolerate any more nonsense out your blabbering mouth! You have come into my home, insulted my son, and dirtied my floor!" Meleanor raises her staff with a furious snarl. The magic surrounding it strikes the ceiling and deflects into multiple bolts of lightning throughout the throne room. "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT AND DO NOT DARKEN MY DOORSTEP EVER AGAIN!"

The nobles scramble back onto their feet and skitter out with fearful screams. The wails of Malleus's attempted suitor echo through the halls of the castle until the doors slam shut behind them.

Meleanor raises her head proudly, huffing a satisfied plume of smoke out of her nostrils. Beside the sighing Lord Levan, Lilia Vanrouge has his head in his hands.

"What nerve, to ask permission for our Malleus's hand whilst showing such disrespectful behavior!" Meleanor spins around with a flare of her cloak and seats herself on her throne, one leg crossed over the other. "I should have incinerated that child where they stood!"

"I'm quite certain your outburst had spoken the message quite clearly, my lady," Lilia says with no small amount of disapproval.

"I agree with Lilia." Malleus's mother whirls around to face him with a betrayed expression on her face. "It is no fault of theirs that I failed to give my full attention to them. They had every right to call out my rude behavior."

Meleanor scowls and tosses her head again. "If you exhibit overly courteous behavior then those stuck-up aristocrats will become too comfortable to speak ill of you. As a dragon, you must present yourself as one!"

"That courteousness is the only reason the staff does not perish within breathing distance of him," Lilia argues. Meleanor shoots him a glare but he isn't deterred. "The poor boy already has issue forming relationships. Your volcanic temper is not doing him any favors."

"I will deal with those interested in the future king of the Briar Lands and my son however I wish! In case you have forgotten, I am your princess and his mother!"

"He is 178, he is not a hatchling, Meleanor!"

"Regardless of his age I have no intention of allowing him to be mistreated or his heart to be broken."

"At the expense of others?!"

"Yes!"

"Ah, there he goes."

Meleanor straightens up from how she had been bent over to glare at the short general and they both look over at Levan. They follow his gaze and briefly see Malleus's tail slipping out of the throne room.

"Darling!" Meleanor gathers her skirt to dash after her son. As Malleus makes his escape, Lilia groans and slumps over the arm of Levan's throne. His friend pats his back in sympathy.

"You really must do something about that wife of yours," Lilia grumbles. Levan laughs nervously, but there's also fondness in his eyes.

"She is simply doing what she thinks is best for our son."

"It isn't and you know it is!" Lilia huffs, craning his neck to glare up at the lord. The corvid fae smiles sweetly and leans towards him with his elbows resting on the armrest.

"Have I told you how much cuter you look when you're angry?"

Lilia sputters, face turning vibrant red. "Be serious!"

"I am serious," Levan hums as he reaches to tuck some hair behind Lilia's ear. The other general swats his hand away and he laughs at the flustered pout on the smaller fae's face. "I pity those nobles, truly I do, but like you and I, I have a feeling our Meleanor knows that our young prince is keeping a secret. So at the end of the day, there is no harm done, hm?"

Lilia gapes and blinks at Levan in bewilderment.

"He told you?"

Levan smiles secretively, a hint of mischievousness in his eyes. He must know as much as Lilia does then, and though he is relieved to know that his friend is supportive of Malleus's feelings, he still dreads the inevitable of Meleanor discovering it for herself. Meleanor is both temperamental and viciously protective of her child, especially since his life had been threatened after she laid his egg during the human invasion centuries ago. It's quite easy to imagine her most likely reaction to her son being interested in courting a human.

"He did. He also requested assistance from me." Levan looks up and his eyes brighten. "There it is now."

Levan waves his hand. Lilia's keen ears catch the sound of beating wings and he turns around to see a window opening. A raven flies into the throne room and settles on Levan's offered arm. The bird caws a greeting to Lilia before bowing its head to the lord.

"Welcome back, my friend," Levan coos as he strokes its wing. "What news do you bring from the Rose Queendom?"

Lilia perks up at mention of the Rose Queendom and looks at the bird with interest. The familiar makes a series of clicks and squawks. Lilia isn't the most fluent in corvid speak so he waits for Levan to translate, but when he looks to his friend, the other fae's smile has turned into an ominous frown.

"…It's not good news, I'm guessing."

----

Malleus typically finds comfort in isolation. It brings him the silence he requires to think and focus on both official and personal matters. Unfortunately though, for his current predicament, his most trusted method of comfort only seems to distress him more.

The conflict between the Rose and Lily Queendoms is taking it's toll on you. It's inevitable—He sees it a lot in Father and Lilia, how their gazes would sometimes look haunted by ghosts unseen to him even when doing the most mundane tasks —but that does not mean Malleus has to like it, or that either him or you should simply allow it to wear you down.

Sometimes, when he is speaking with you, you would get a faraway look in your eyes, lost in thought. During those moments the bags beneath your eyes look more prominent, your body thinner, your skin paler. You would apologise for losing track of the conversation and Malleus would excuse it, but within his chest a pit grew deeper and deeper, filling with irrational concern for you.

The desire to hoard and care for those most cherished to him isn't a foreign feeling to Malleus. He recalls that at a young age he would nest with his parents at night and steal Lilia and his father's weapons to stop them from leaving the castle for their duties. Now, he watches over Silver while he sleeps and sits at the water's edge when Sebek practices his swimming.

It is something normal for dragons to want their loved ones happy and safe, but the way he feels it with you is incomparable. He cares for you, (which had initially surprised him, to care for a strange human) there's no doubt about it, but more than anything else he wants to be the one to care for you, to ensure your safety. To take you away and tuck you inside his wings, to gift you all the luxuries you could ever need so that you would no longer be hurt or troubled.

And the strangest thing? He desires the same thing from you as well. For you to care for him, cherish him, want him, love him. For you to take his hand and let him whisk you away to somewhere the two of you could see and speak to each other every day, where you could sit and listen contentedly to him and him to you and help him with his woes like he wishes to help you with yours.

Confiding in Lilia had been what led him to realise his feelings for you. The older fae's recollection of his parents' courtship had been… concerning, but it reassured Malleus that his desires were not unusual and that, most importantly, his beloved caretaker accepted you.

It had taken more courage to approach Lord Levan, but he should have known that his understanding father would support him wholeheartedly. At Malleus's request, his father had sent one of his ravens to the Queendom and Malleus now spends almost every waking moment anxious for its return.

Telling his mother about you is… another matter entirely.

You were right that it wouldn't be wise to bring you into his home. He loves his mother, but like him, she possesses the nature of the dragon. She is caring, excessively so, and… incredibly protective, to say the least.

And to say that Malleus is fearful of her discovering his romantic feelings for you, a human—a race she loathes with her entire being—is an understatement.

You are fearless, perhaps a little foolish, but not saneless. She will chase you off as she has many others. The incident today was only one of many.

Regardless of his mother's ill manners and your reluctance to be with him, Malleus's heart does not stop yearning and yearn he does as he sits alone in his rose garden, innocent red rose in hand, plucking each poor petal after the other as his thoughts whirl around his mind uselessly.

Perhaps he should have been more insistent. Perhaps he should have taken you back anyway. Perhaps—

"Malleus?"

The click of his mother's heels on the garden's stone path grow louder with each approaching step. Meleanor appears beneath the rose arch to the gazebo and Malleus hurriedly brushes off the petals that have gathered on his lap.

"There you are. I have been looking for you, dear." Mother smiles as she walks up the steps of the gazebo, the long train of her skirt dragging behind her. She eyes the rose petals scattered around him. "What are you doing?"

"Ah. I am picking rose petals… for tea." His mother raises an eyebrow at his reluctant tone so he quickly diverts the topic. "Am I needed somewhere, Mother?"

"No, no." Meleanor sweeps up her cloak to that it isn't trampled beneath her when she takes a seat next to him. "I was merely worried." With gentle claws, she cradles Malleus's chin and lifts his gaze to hers. "I did not scare you, did I?"

"No—" Never, he wants to say. Even if she can summon the most destructive storms and move mountains with a snap of her fingers, Malleus can never be afraid of his mother, but the churning feelings in his gut lodges the words in his throat.

Malleus pulls away from her touch, looking away before he can see her frown. "I apologise, Mother. I exhibited behavior unbecoming of a prince in front of our visitors."

Instead of reprimanding him, his mother laughs. She's always so self-assured; with her magic, with her choices. It's one of the many things he admires but also envies about his mother. If only he can reach that point of confidence in his life much sooner.

"My silly little beast. There is nothing to apologise for," his mother coos, brushing a lock of hair out of his face with a careful talon. "You did no harm. After all, you have been so distracted because you already have your eye on someone, don't you?"

Malleus turns towards his mother, wide-eyed, and her eyes glitter with excitement as she grins.

"How did you—" Malleus stops himself. How is he supposed to tread this? "…Did Father tell you?"

Meleanor's smile falls. "No, but I am hurt you chose to tell him before me."

Malleus swallows. He laces his fingers together in an effort to make himself feel less unsteady. "How do you know, then?"

"Come now, you didn't think a mother would not be able to see that her son has fallen in love, did you?" Meleanor giggles behind her claws, eyes bright with eagerness. She leans in towards her son and lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Tell me, tell me; what are they like? How did you meet? And most importantly: When will I meet them?"

Malleus opens his mouth and pauses. What does he tell her? Every scale on his being is restless, eager at the presented opportunity to talk about you, but certainly, he cannot tell his mother about you. About your humanity. She would, as Lilia frequently describes it, erupt. He did not need that display from earlier in the throne room to know this well.

(He grew up all his life with it after all; His mother losing her head at every slight insult or threat towards him and striking it with bolts of lightning until it runs away screaming.)

Malleus does not fear his mother, let alone resent her, but he does rather often catch himself wondering what it would be like if she were not so hot-headed.

"They are…" Malleus quickly trails off as soon as the attempt begins. He glances at his mother warily. She is giving him her full attention. The support should be encouraging, but the dread within him only increases. "You cannot meet them."

His mother reels back as if he had shocked her with electricity. Her eyes widen and then narrow. Her brows furrow and her lips pull into a displeased pout.

"Whyever not? …Are you ashamed of me?"

"What? No, of course not!"

"Embarrassed, perhaps?"

"Far from it."

"Then do you fear that I would scare them off?"

"Yes— Ah, I mean—!" Malleus screws his mouth shut and looks away again. Meleanor chuckles in amusement.

"Silly beast," she tuts. Behind him, Malleus's tail thumps agitatedly and she twines her own around it to soothe him. "I am flattered that you think so highly of me, but I assure you that any mate worthy of you will not cower so easily before me."

Malleus wraps his tail around his mother's offered one, but his expression is one of scepticism. "How do you know for certain? Do you truly have so much faith in my choice of a partner?"

"Oh, of course not! You are still just a little beast after all," Meleanor teases with a light pinch to his cheek. "What I mean is that, whoever you choose, we shall know if they are truly the correct mate for you if they remain beside you regardless of any trials."

"Oh… I see…" Malleus lowers his head. He clasps his hands tightly together. He can still remember the phantom feeling of your own hands on them, of you pulling away from him. Of him watching your retreating back after once more rejecting his offer to take you away.

"Darling?" His mother places her hands on his and the memory fades away. "Is something the matter?"

"I… I want you to meet them, truly I do, but…" Your face flashes before his eyes again, with it your shy smile and your voice whispering,

"Someday."

Malleus gathers his resolve and faces his mother. "Not anytime soon, I fear."

His mother pouts again. "Oh, come now—!"

"I don't think they would fear you." There's no way to know for certain until you actually meet her, but it is something he's fairly confident in. "It is that… they are currently occupied and will not be able to make time to come to our lands in the near future."

Meleanor's eyes light up with newfound interest. "Oh? They are not of the Briar Fae?"

Malleus bites his lip anxiously. "Er, no. They are—"

A bird sings overhead. The two dragons on the gazebo lift their heads and see a silver-haired knight walk through the rose arch.

"Lady Meleanor, Lord Malleus." Silver dips into a quick bow and rises again. "I apologise for interrupting."

"Oh, Silver! What a pleasant surprise. Have you finished your training today? Come, come. It has been too long since we last spoke." Meleanor beckons to the young knight to sit next to her.

"Er, if I recall correctly, we spoke just this morning—!"

Meleanor doesn't let him hesitate for long. She crooks her finger and wisps of purple magic tug on his uniform until he's standing on the gazebo.

"I apologise profusely, my lady," Silver stammers as her magic fades off of his clothes. "But I'm afraid I cannot stay long, my father requests to see Lord Malleus—"

"Does he!" Meleanor's eyebrows are arched, her expression devious in a way both boys know does not hold good intentions for their respective fathers. "How fortunate, I was hoping to speak to him about Malleus."

"Mother—"

"Lady Meleanor—"

Before either boy could get a word in, magic begins to swirl around the princess's fingers and she chants, "Come, my eyes and ears, my wings and feet."

Magic swirls and shimmers around her. Beneath her feet, her shadow ripples, and a raven bursts out of it with a frantic caw.

"Now why are you in such a hurry?" Meleanor tuts, easily catching the bird out of the air before it could fly off. The bird squawks and flaps its one wing that hadn't managed to be caught in her hand. She directs a firm gaze on it and it freezes, letting a pathetic noise out of its beak. Malleus winces in sympathy.

"Where is my Right?" Meleanor looks down at her shadow, displeased, but quickly smiles again when she turns to Silver. "Give me a hand, dear."

With them pointing downwards, Meleanor pinches together the thumb and forefinger of her free hand. She makes a pulling motion and a squealing bat emerges out of Silver's shadow. It manages to escape the princess's grasp on it but only briefly before she catches it by its legs.

The bat squeaks and screams, no doubt profanities blasphemous when directed at the crown princess, but she is unfazed. Silver looks down at the poor creature apologetically as it clings to his uniform in an attempt to shake off the dragoness's claws.

"What is the matter with you? Stop behaving so childishly. Look, your son is being much more mature than you, how embarrassing." Meleanor forces the bat to let go of the boy and holds it upside down, continuing to be unfazed as it claws at her lace gloves angrily. "You should know better than to ignore a summons from your mistress."

She shakes the bat in a not-so-gentle manner and the animal grows in size and changes shape until Lilia is hanging by the ankles. The raven does the same, but Meleanor lets Levan go so he can perch on her arm more comfortably.

"—the matter with you! You absolutely insane princess!" Lilia yells once he's finally taken his two-legged form again.

"Yes, you're very adorable, dear," Meleanor says dismissively with a pinch to his nose. Lilia hisses at her, but despite his complaints there's no real heat to them and he calms down quickly. "Now, my loves, when were the two of you going to tell me that a secret someone has caught our Malleus's interest?"

"I sincerely apologise, darling," Levan says mournfully, and any amount of aggression in his wife's expression fades away when he pecks a kiss on her cheek. "but it was not our secret to tell."

"Alright, I suppose I can forgive that. I'm sorry, dears." Meleanor looks at her son and husband fondly but scowls when she turns to Lilia. "Not you."

Lilia sticks his tongue out at her without remorse. With difficulty, he twists around to address Silver. "You've found Malleus! Well done, my boy."

"Thank… you, Father."

"What is it that you wished to speak to me about?" Malleus asks, tilting his head in an effort to meet Lilia's eyes. The bat fae exchanges a look with the prince's father and then glances at the princess holding him captive.

"Perhaps we should wait until later—"

"Wonderful, since I wished to speak to both of you about a different matter." Meleanor's expression turns into a deceptively sweet one that immediately has Lilia's face souring. "My loves, would you tell Malleus that you also desperately wish to meet this secret potential mate of his?"

She flutters her eyelashes for good measure. Malleus sighs and shakes his head.

"Mother…"

"I know what you said, but perhaps with encouragement from all three of us we can twist a few rules…"

"Actually, my love, what we wish to discuss concerns this… person." Meleanor raises an inquisitive eyebrow at her husband sitting on her arm.

"What?" All eyes turn to Malleus. The prince suddenly rises from his seat, pupils thinned to slits. Leftover rose petals scatter to his feet. "Has something happened to them?"

"I apologise, Malleus, but Lilia is right." Levan casts a quick look towards Meleanor and Malleus understands immediately.

Meleanor looks frustratedly between her son and husband, unhappy at being the only one uninformed. "Now what is this about? Why are you so reluctant to speak of this person within my presence?"

Lilia purses his lips, determined to not say a thing, meanwhile Levan looks towards his son again meaningfully.

Malleus takes a breath.

"It is what I have been meaning to tell you. Mother…" Malleus glances at Silver standing to the side, at attention. "Silver is a human."

Meleanor blinks. She looks at Silver, back at Malleus, and then bursts into laughter.

"But of course he is, silly beast!"

Malleus attempts to continue, but she doesn't stop laughing like it's the most hilarious joke she's heard in a century. He looks to his father helplessly. Levan gives him an encouraging smile but the doubt that twitches the edges of his lips isn't very reassuring. Meanwhile, Lilia sighs exasperatedly and Silver frowns in confusion.

"Well, Mother…" Meleanor keeps laughing and the longer the seconds tick by the more his confidence falters. Perhaps… If he says it now, she won't hear and she can remain in ignorant bliss. "This person I am in love with is a human as well."

The laughter stops so abruptly that the deadly silence sounds as loud as a crash of thunder.

"What."

[sscieloz]

Hi! I just found your blog and I’m looking forward to your works. Could I request a Seulgi angst fic; where you and Seulgi have been in a happy, loving, fulfilling, committed relationship for the past 3 years, but one day when she came back from practice with the girls you two got into a heated argument about how she’s always canceling dates with you because work related things come up that she “can’t miss” and she ends up bringing up something that you had confided in Her about awhile ago and uses it against you; to which she immediately regrets and tries to take back and can you take it from there? Thank you! I look forward to it:)

Missing you

Kang Seulgi x reader

Warnings: toxic!relationship, angst (dw it’s all good now)

Word count: 3.7k

Notes: hi!! sorry for taking long <3. I kind of struggled to think of a motive of them arguing bc it kept getting too dark (as in they wouldn’t be able to get past this lol) and I kinda wanted a happy ending. I hope this is to your liking!! Kisses mwah mwah.

Your gaze flew to the clock for the 30th time in a spam of five minutes, making you sigh in defeat. Seulgi had promised you she’d meet you at your favorite restaurant for dinner, as a way to make up to you for being so busy over the past weeks. Yet there you were, sitting alone with a glass of bitter wine for over two whole hours before you finally gave up and went home, realizing she wouldn’t come. Again.

Babe <3

Hey baby, rehearsals are going up until late since we still have so much to work on

I won’t make it to dinner. Sorry.

Next week, though? I’ll make it up to you. I promise.

I love you

You got into your apartment just as her message lit up your phone. You threw it over the sofa, preparing yourself a long bath to try to relax. You took a deep breath before entering the warm water, the bubbles and the silence easing your tensed muscles. You tried not to think about your girlfriend or your relationship, knowing it’d only make you even more upset, but your thoughts didn’t seem to let you rest.

You and Seulgi loved each other, you knew that much. You’ve never loved her any less in those three years you’ve been dating, but it pained you to see how much you’ve drifted apart lately. You felt like you were the only one trying to spend time with her, and it wasn’t like you weren’t busy yourself: being an intern in one of Seoul’s top hospitals while studying for residency was tiring and difficult, specially since you’ve always been a bit behind your colleagues, having to push yourself harder than the most to simply be at their level. Still, you always made sure to make some time for Seulgi. Why couldn’t she do the same? Were you not important to her?

Those thoughts made you sigh, your body immersed in the water until it went limp and the water grew cold. Part of you wished you could be somewhat more imposing: demand more from her, confront the woman over your issues, telling her how you felt. You couldn’t, though. You were too weak for that. Which was the reason you dragged yourself to bed, rolling over to set your alarm on your phone before allowing your body to be dragged by sleep.

It’s ok.

Next time, then

Gnight love

Seulgi’s reply came hours later, although you were fast asleep.

Sweet dreams, dearest.

-

To say you were having a bad day was a euphemism. Your preceptor had given you the biggest, shittiest lecture over nothing (so what if you couldn’t get the stupid procedure done at the very first try? He had no right to scream at you to get out of the OR like that, let alone yell at your face for over half an hour about how dumb and unprepared you were, compared to others. Preposterous piece of crap). You nearly fell down the stairs on your way to lunch and, to make it better, your umbrella broke, making you run all the way home after being dropped at the bus stop to try to get less soaked. It didn’t work, and you entered your place with chattering teeth and the feeling of the wind carved deep in your bones. Your body was trembling so much from the cold and the stress, you dropped your keys twice before you managed to open the door, finally sighing in relief.

That relief, however, ended just as you spotted your girlfriend’s silhouette leave your kitchen and enter your living room, smiling as if she hadn’t fucked up hard by leading you on for so long.

“Jesus baby, you’re soaked.” She frowned, giving you a peck on the lips. Your body went rigid at her touch, exhausted from everything, which made Seulgi confused. She was finally able to make some time and come see you, so why weren’t you happy?

You simply murmured something along the lines of hello and so nice to see you, before hurrying to your room to get rid of the wet clothes that clung to your body. You took the hottest shower of your life, trying to wash all the discomfort away, which didn’t work in the slightest.

You loved Seulgi so much it hurt, but the last thing you wanted for the day was to see her. You felt drained, your body ached, and you so desperately wanted to hide under your sheets and cry yourself to sleep. You didn’t want to talk about your day—about anything, specially not to her. It’d demand too much energy to explain what was going on with you over the past few weeks, since you never seemed to properly talk to each other, anymore. You had no energy for that.

And you’ve always sucked at communicating, anyway.

You forced yourself to leave your room, dragging your feet in tiredness, and found Seulgi setting up the table for two. You sat down, still silent, and watched as she put some Tteokbokki for herself.

“I’ve already eaten at the hospital.” You told her, returning her stare with a shrug. Seulgi sighed at your pettiness; perhaps you did get mad at her for canceling on you on the prior week, unlike you’d told her. And the week before that. And-

Ok. She might deserve a bit of your cold shoulder. But you simply had to understand her: she was working so hard with the girls to prepare for their comeback, and there were still many things to be adjusted. Their expected date was approaching, and you’ve always been so comprehensive. Sure, she knew you often masked your feelings or simply dismissed them to try to please others, but she’d asked you about it so many times. If something was making you uncomfortable, you’d sure tell her. Right?

“So,” She grunted, adjusting herself in the chair. “How was your day?”

“It was fine, thanks.”

“Okay.” Seulgi murmured, not touching her food either. She was beginning to get irritated at your distance now. Sure, she knew being a doctor was exhausting and time-consuming, but it wasn’t like she wasn’t having one hell of a week, either. Her fingers twitched under the table, and she no longer stood the awkward silence between you. Rolling her eyes, she added, “Are you just going to be a bitch all night? Because I got here straight from practice, I’m tired as fuck and the last thing I want is for you t—“

“What are you doing here, then, Seulgi?” You interrupted her, feeling the anger rise on yourself too. “Don’t you have rehearsals and recordings to be too busy with? Or should I just be so fucking grateful that my girlfriend decided to grace me with her company? Am I not paying enough attention to your liking?” You usually tried your best to not be rude to others, keeping your sarcastic thoughts to yourself, but your sudden anger flared up and forged a cloud over your mind, making it hard to see clearly through it. “Should we call the others, then? The girls you spend all fucking day with?”

Seulgi rose from the table, her face heating up at your words and suggestions. You played low at that, you both knew it, but now you’ve gotten her way too pissed to think about consequences.

“What the fuck, Yn? What’s gotten into you?” She screams, leaning forward so you two were face to face, “I know it was not ideal at all to skip our dinner.” Multiple ones, you both knew it, but neither pointed it out loud. “But you know I can’t miss work. Please understand.”

Seulgi was just so mad and frustrated. Her times with you were always stress-relieving to her, but lately all you’ve been doing is either argue about minor stuff or simply not talk at all. It was taking a toll on her when it shouldn’t, not with her comeback so close and her stress levels already escalating. It wasn’t good for you either, with your crazy work routines and weekly exams at the hospital. She knew that.

But you couldn’t seem to make it work.

“What’s gotten into me?” You stood up yourself, too, towering over her. Since you were always so sweet and patient, Seulgi would often forget how much taller you were— in fact, it was one of the things she first noticed when you first met; it had gotten her attention instantly. She hated it now, though— how small it made her feel. “What’s gotten into me is that it seems like I don’t even have a fucking girlfriend anymore! You ignore me all the time like I’m just some friend and not someone who matters! I don’t even know what you’re doing half of the time, with God knows who.” You threw your hands in the air, exasperated.

Her expression turned into a scowl, and she rolled her eyes, palms curling into fists to shake the urge of grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking your insecurities away. Seulgi hated when you implied such things. You were the love of her life, and she’d never, never cheat on you, no matter how distant you were. But you were (deeply) insecure, and she knew that. She was also so, so enraged and stressed.

“Jesus, why are you always so fucking dramatic?” she was quick to snap back, defensive. “Acting like I’m going to leave you for the first person I see in the stree…” Seulgi’s words died on her mouth, immediately realizing the power of her words, making both of you gasp. She tried to reach out to you, but you pushed your chair roughly to get away from her.

Your body went rigid, countless memories of you crying to her flagged your mind. You’ve confessed to her many times about how much it bothered you to not have her around as much. You missed her deeply, and even though you trusted her completely, your mind was always playing tricks on you — not only about her, but with everything: how you weren’t enough at University, always behind your friends in grades; not interesting enough to make long last friendships, as you often saw in big groups of friends; not pretty or talented enough for your girlfriend, who was constantly around so many amazing people. That’s just how your mind worked 24/7; constantly wondering.

And now, Seulgi made sure to tell you just how much she hasn't forgotten any of that. Any of the things that made you deeply insecure.

“Get out.” You told her, hugging yourself to hide the urge of running straight to her arms.

Seulgi took a step forward, but it only made you back away twice as much. “Baby, I’m so sorry… listen, I—“

“I said get out!” You screamed this time, the tears you were fighting so hard to contain rolling freely on your face.

All the sensations you were suppressing all week erupted, boiling over your surface as you brushed past the hallway to try to get to your room, to the bathroom, anywhere small were you could be confined and finally let it all go. You were straight up sobbing now, your body hot from moving roughly alongside your heavy breathing. You were so sick of everyhting. Work, your friends, her. Her words hurt, and all you wanted was to disappear. You didn’t quite feel your body as the tears clouded your eyes, and suddenly very light, delicate hands were lifting you up —you now realized you’d simply sunk in the middle of the hallway, hugging your knees as strong as you could— and guiding you to your bedroom. Seulgi helped you to get under the covers as she lay down beside you, careful to not overwhelm you even more. When the older woman saw you’d settled down a bit, she opened her arms, making you cling onto her immediately. You knew you shouldn’t, but it was so comforting, and you loved her so much… You’d allow yourself just that, only for a few moments.

“I-I don’t want to do this anymore.” you muttered against her neck, wetting her shirt with your tears. “I’m so tired, Seulgi. I can’t.”

You felt her tense before you for brief seconds before her soothing touches went on, kissing your forehead ever so gently— almost as if you were made of glass. You certainly felt like it, at the moment. Like you were a glass full of cracks, threatening to shatter.

“Shh, it’s ok.” She cooed, running her hands under your shirt to draw small circles on your bare back, as she knew it soothed you and made you sleep almost instantly. “You’re too tired right now. Sleep, ok? I’ll be here when you wake up, then we’ll talk.”

You didn’t like the idea of talking things out with Seulgi. It would be too tiring, and maybe, just maybe… you were postponing it for so long because you feared what the outcome would be.

You were too afraid to lose her. So you’d rather leave things as they were, no matter how broken and uncomfortable they might be.

Your eyes, however, were already closing on their own, the warmth of her body making it so easy to just give in and rest.

“Okay.” You whispered, hugging her closer. “Tomorrow.”

You fell into a sleep without dreams soon enough.

-

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was how messy the right side of the bed— Seulgi’s side was. You’d missed the wrinkled sheets and how it always looked like a hurricane had passed over your bed whenever she came over, from how much she moved in her sleep. It made you smile to yourself as you got up, bare feet on the ground, while you hesitantly looked around for her, too scared to call her name out loud and find her gone.

It wouldn’t be the first time she broke a promise, after all.

You’d forgotten how much all the little things with her made you happy.

“…Hello?” You asked— secretly relieved, at the sight of your girlfriend kneeling on the ground, little wrinkles adorning her face as she tried hard to shove too many clothes on your washing machine.

She looked up, startled by the sound of your voice, but quickly smiled. “Hi. Did you have a good sleep?” Seulgi sounded genuinely concerned, making you curse yourself silently for worrying her.

Are you ok? She wanted to ask you. Seeing you so distressed had gotten her so guilty and concerned. She hated to see you like this, and it killed her to know she was to blame. I care.

“Yeah, I did, thanks.” You shrugged it off, standing awkwardly at her sides. “You don’t have to do my laundry, you know.”

“Well, someone has to.” Seulgi scoffed, rolling her eyes as she finally managed to close the machine’s door, even if with a bit of an effort.

You opened your mouth, faking being offended while bringing your hands to your heart. “I was going to do it, okay? On…”

“Saturday.” You both finished, together. Saturdays were laundry day for you, though you rarely followed your schedule through. It made you smile, to know she remembered it, and you said nothing, trying to not break the nice moment you were having.

“So, do you want to have lunch? We can go out, if you’d like.” Seulgi suggested, her tone careful as she fidgeted the hem of her big sweatshirt.

You simply stared at her, confused. Lunch? Had you really slept for that long?

“You slept for 13 hours, babe.” She clarified, looking at your confused face, making you quickly check your phone to confim the truth: it was, indeed, nearly lunchtime.

You’ve never been so grateful to be on your day off as much as you did now, or else you would’ve sure missed your pre-rounds at the hospital.

“Oh, ok.” You answered, a bit ashamed for dozing out for so long. “Let’s have lunch, then.” You realized she must’ve been skipping work, too; which was why you added, frowning. “Don’t you have to be in the company? It’s ok if you do. I can wait until nigh—“

“Don’t worry about it.” Your girlfriend clarified, motioning for you to get ready. “Let’s just have lunch, ok?”

You took a deep breath, knowing what she meant; it was urgent for the two of you to sit, talk and solve things. Giving in, you followed her, changing from your pajamas and fixing your hair as she grabbed some of your clothes (that were too big on her, as always. she loved it.) to go out.

“Ok.”

-

You played with your hands, sitting in front of Seulgi at a local restaurant near your house as you waited for your food to come. The cozy atmosphere didn’t do much to easy your discomfort, and you tried hard to not bite your (already deeply bitten) nails off. Seulgi’s eyes were trained on you, making you feel as if hundreds of tiny needles were piercing your skin through her gaze. To your surprise, not once had she checked her phone, unlike all the times you’ve been together over the last few months. Instead, her sole attention was on you, like you dreamed of so many times in those last weeks.

Now, however, her current focus only makes you want to throw up, from the nerves of the situation.

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself.” She expressed, as a matter of fact. It was true, but her accusation made you defensive, eyes snapping to her as you took a deep breath.

You were tired of arguing, and this was one of your favorite places: you’d rather not cause a scene. “Seulgi.”

“Am I lying?” Your piercing gaze was enough for her to roll her eyes, hands up to show you she wasn’t looking for a fight either. “Ok, let’s not go there.” Her tone dropped an octave, “I just worry, ok? You seem to be having it pretty tough.”

She wasn’t pressuring you to say anything before the two of you actually discussed your issues— you knew it as much. It as just hard for you to express yourself, now even more to do so without crying. And you didn’t want to cry in front of her.

“This rotation has been tough, like I already knew it would be.” You told her, refusing to meet Seulgi’s eyes. “It’s ok, though. It’s nearly over, now. Things will get better, then.”

You’d talked about it before your rounds started, Seulgi remembered. Flashes of you, worried, flashed through her mind, with herself assuring you she’d be by your side to help you on each step of your journey.

The memory made her want to throw up, too.

“Look at me, baby.” You heard her say, yet you still refused to meet her eyes. Instead, you felt her hands holding yours, her touch firm. “Yn, look at me.”

You closed your eyes to prepare yourself for whatever was about to come, a few quiet moments amidst the storm of both of your minds. When you opened them, she was ready to welcome you. “I’m sorry, ok? I truly am so, so sorry for those last couple of weeks— hell, these couple of months. I’m such an idiot for leading you on like that and for not treating you like you deserve it. I love you, God, I fucking love you more than anything in this world, Yn, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Her grip went tighter, but you didn’t care. You could only listen to her words. “I promise I’ll do better, to show you how much you matter to me. I’ll be here for you, just like you’ve always been, for me.” She murmured, taking your hands to your lips as she kissed them gently.

Little droplets of tears still threatened to fall from your eyes as your voice faltered, a bulge forming in your throat. You loved Seulgi and needed her like the air you breathed, and sure missed her every second of the day, when you weren’t together. But her distance had hurt you, deeply.

She was crying, too. You realized you’ve actually never seen her cry, in the 3 years you’ve been dating.

“Your distance really hurt.” You managed to voice it to her, between hiccups. “I-I felt like I was doing something wrong all the time.”

“You weren’t. You’d never, baby.” She reassured you, running her hands through your hair to get it out of your wet face. “It was my fault. You’re mine and I’m yours, ok? We’ll start over, and I’ll show you how much you matter to me. I won’t fuck up our relationship anymore.” She looked at you timidly, adding, “And I’m sorry for what I said yesterday, too. It was not my place to use something you confined at a moment like that. I was such a huge bitch.”

“It’s ok.” You muttered, though still hurt.

“No it’s not.” She exclaimed, serious. “It was horrible, and I’m deeply sorry for that. It’s not going to happen again. Ever.”

Instead of answering, you lunged forward, kissing her urgently— fuck the restaurant and etiquette. Seulgi kissed you with equal fervor, savoring your taste. God, she’d missed you so much.

“I love you.” You told her, smiling as you ended the kiss, leaning on the chair. She pouted, but opened a big smile as she saw yours. “And I don’t want us to end. We’ve been through so much. I want to be by your side, with anything that comes.”

“I love you more, Yn. We’ll be together, always. Nothing will fuck us up anymore. No rehearsals, recordings… nothing.” Her hands brushed your lips as she stared at your face, enamored, before adding. “Now tell me about everything I’ve missed. And I mean everything. Don’t save your words.”

You laughed at her, nodding as you quietly started from the beginning: you’ve told her every bit she missed, and Seulgi told everything about herself, too. You ate your food with content, exchanging every single moment with her until hours had passed, and you’ve decided to return home.

And as you walked in the park together, the windy breeze calmed your soul, and with your love by your side, you felt much, much better.

As it should always be.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

I don't remember where I read this small fic about Reader and the BAU team getting in a car crash but I honestly need more lol

Male Reader isn't a driver, he's more into motorcycles because they don't need as much spacial awareness as cars do. But ue does know how to drive since you need a drivers license to get a motorcycle license. Well during a long drive to find an unsub's location out in the woods, the team took turns driving. Derek knows that Reader is uncomfortable being behind a wheel and volunteers to stay up with him, making sure he's okay like the dad friend he is.

What the team doesnt know is that the unsub knows they're being followed and so the unsub decides to cause a wreck by speeding down one of the darkened trails in the woods and hits the BAU car

You can decide how injured everyone is and I hope this is an okay request

Is there a possibility it was this fic ?

Word count: 1152

Warnings: car crash, impaled, injuries, blood

"How far out is this place?" JJ asks. Your current suspect (who you were almost 100% sure was the unsub) lived in a remote cabin in the middle of the woods.

"Four hours,"

"I'm sorry, it's four hours out?!" You exclaimed, head whipping in Hotch's direction. "He's driving four hours to dump a body? That's commitment..."

"What's the driving schedule?" Emily asked.

"Me, Morgan, Rossi and then (Y/N)," Hotch said.

"I don't know if it's a good idea," You say, hesitant. "I don't drive that often..."

"Hey man, I'll stay up, keep you company," Morgan offers with a grin, knowing that being the only one awake would add to your worry.

"Thanks," You give him a grin.

"What is it with you and motorcycles, anyway?" Emily teases.

"I don't need as much spatial awareness with them," You explain with a smirk.

She turned to Hotch, "Are we really letting this guy drive?"

"Just get in the car," Morgan laughed. The first two and a half hours of the journey, you were fine, not too anxious, knowing that you had a while before you actually had to drive. Then during Morgan's shift, he decides to stop for coffee - and naturally, you drink one too. Which was a bad move because now you're anxious as fuck. It starts with your knees bouncing, hands shaking, before you force your eyes closed and picture a variety of different movie scenes - mentally rewriting them so they ended the way they should have.

And, soon enough, it's your turn. Morgan makes sure to sit in the passenger seat, so that when everyone goes to sleep, at least you have him to chat to without worrying so much that you might wake the others.

Morgan, as promised, stays awake and you both find yourself debating the alternative movie endings you came up with earlier. Apparently, Morgan doesn't believe that Tony should have lived at the end of Endgame (and honestly, he's wrong - and you make sure to tell him that).

You pause the current conversation, squinting into the darkness, trying to figure out what it was exactly you could see just past the light of the headlights. "What the-?"

Morgan joins you in your confusion. You get slightly closer, slowing down just in case. And you can see the number plate, "Is that the unsub's vehicle?" Morgan asks, you're about to answer when the lights flick on and the car's speeding towards you with no sign of swerving.

"Shit!" You yell, swerving until a tree seemingly appears from nowhere and you slam the breaks, but it's too late and the car collides with the tree and then unsub's vehicle collides with the SUV. Your grip on the wheel is tight, even as the car crumbles, even as the metal dents around your legs and sides, even as the air bag activates and winds you, even as a sharp pain hits your torso. And then your grip loosens as you lose consciousness.

When you come to, the first thing you register is the pain, every part of your body hurts. "Is- Is everyone okay?" You ignore the tears that are starting to build, both from the smoke and the pain.

"We're all okay back here," Hotch answered with a small groan, moving his hand over his face.

"Is everyone awake?" You asked, various voices chimed in, confirming that they were all awake and okay. "Morgan?" You turned your head, panic gnawing at your stomach when you saw that he was still unconscious. You reach out, biting back a yelp when pain spread through your arm - you ignore it and lightly tap his face. "Morgan? Derek?"

"I think he's out for the count," Hotch mumbles and you nod, anxiety gnawing at your stomach. And pain. You let your eyes flicker down to your stomach, just to make sure you're okay. You know it's probably a few bruised ribs, maybe a few broken, but nothing major. But then you see the metal rod and your stomach drops.

"H'tch-" It comes out as a whisper, "Hotch-"

"(Y/N)? (Y/N), what's wrong?"

"I-" You have no clue how to even describe it. There was fumbling and the sound of a low groan, Hotch. You shut your eyes, trying to get rid of the mental image of a metal rod sticking out of your abdomen. You open your eyes when a hand gently taps your cheek, Hotch gives you a small but reassuring smile. "Hotch,"

"I know," He replies, eyes not leaving yours, "I know, but you're going to be just fine, alright?"

When you nod, he turns behind him, "Can you check on Morgan?"

Then there's movement to your right, "Morgan?" JJ. Okay, someone was looking after Morgan, that's good.

"Hey," You look back at Hotch. "The ambulance is on its way, okay? You're going to be okay,"

"There's a whole ass metal rod in my stomach right now Hotch-"

"Let's not think about that right now,"

"Okay, yeah, that sounds like a good idea." You nod. "Is Morgan okay?"

"He looks okay," JJ reassures, "I think he's just unconscious,"

You nod and sirens fill your ears and you let your eyes close for just a moment.

As it turns out, it was not for 'just a moment' but rather several moments. Many hours worth. In fact, since closing your eyes, you've had surgery, nurses have monitored your other injuries, set your arm in a cast, and bandaged you up. Derek had also woken up as the ambulance arrived, confused and dazed to say the least, but otherwise okay. He's not happy with the idea of staying overnight in the hospital, but a firm look from Hotch has him sighing and nodding.

You wake up, three hours after the surgery with a groan, you felt a dull ache, despite the numbing effect of the drugs. "(Y/N)?"

"H'tch," You give a small smile, despite the ache. "Morgan okay?"

"He's okay, everyone - including you - is okay,"

"That's good," You hum before you wince slightly, throat hurting. With a small roll of the eyes, Hotch hands you a small glass of water.

"Small sips," He reminds you, studying your face for a moment before turning back to his newspaper ('since when did Hotch reads newspapers?'). "They didn't have any good books to buy in the shop," Hotch answers.

"You're such a dad," You snort.

"Yep, now get some sleep or I'll ground you and that includes visitors," He answers. When you stare at him in confusion, trying to figure out if he's joking, he looks up and you and you quickly screw your eyes shut - just in case.

Turns out, it's a rather affective way to get to sleep and soon enough, you're waking up. This time, Morgan's there and you immediately grin. "Morgan!" You cheer and Morgan laughs.

"Mornin' sleeping beauty," He teases.

"Whatever," You scoff, "I didn't have the chance to tell you, but how dare you say Tony Stark shouldn't have survived after defeating Thanos."

[lostgracestories]

YES tis me just checking on you, and sorry to hear about your family

if you want requests I'd love a little varré femdom? with extra sugar n a cherry on top

❤️🩸

Thank youuu <3

Of COURSE I have GOT you hon

also, sorry this took so long, I kept restarting this cause it just wasn't turning out the way I wanted? Eventually just committed to it cause fuck it. So, if it seems a little half-baked, sorry!!! <3

TW: public sex, femdom, hate(ish) sex?, oral sex (Fem receiving), handjob (Male receiving) --- (idk, if there's more then let me know I'm tired lol...) also no blood this time, shockingly

WC: 1.3k (eat up~)

Eat Up

There was a sort of peaceful quiet to the Mohgwyn dynasty, especially when Mohg wasn’t dishing out orders for Varre and Ansbach left and right. Of course, it was never anything serious, he was simply a bit of a diva… Well, here you were. And all of this? It was new. What wasn’t new, however, was Varre. Ever since you as a tarnished had arrived in the lands between, he had seemed to be a consistent presence in your journeys. Unfortunately, he always seemed so grumpy. And he was a bitch… a hot one though.

You had spent many days coming to bother Varre at Rose Church when you ventured into Liurnia. You did many of the little chores he asked of you until there were none left, so finally he gave you a pureblood knight’s medal. And told you not to use it. So of course, you obeyed. Anything to be near to him. 

Of course, he always wore that freaky mask but there was one time, one single time where you’d caught him without it, washing his face in the water surrounding Rose Church. For all his annoying bitching, you reasoned that if he were this hot under the mask? It was worth it.

All hells, what had you been doing? Right.

There weren’t many places to sleep in Mohgwyn dynasty so you had come out to stare out at the surrounding landscape just across from the palace approach ledge-road site of grace. The sites of grace always gave off a comforting warmth, making it easier to sleep even in uncomfortable situations. After a little more glancing over the terrain, you turned to see if the nearby Albinaurics were still scattered about the land. They were, but most slept. That was it. You could sleep now. And with a deep breath, you laid next to the site of grace and closed your eyes, slowly falling into a decent sleep.

.

.

.

Something mere hours later jolted you awake as the feeling of a nearby presence, other than the Albinaurics, pulled you out of sleep. Your wide eyes searched only briefly as you sat nearly straight, looking across the site of grace at Varre. Piece of shit… was he watching you sleep? “Oh, my deepest apologies Lambkin, did I wake you?”

Of course he did. And you know he knew that. He was being an attention whore. As usual.

“Yes… Leave me be Varre. I am trying to sleep”

There was a bitter tone to your voice that Varre quickly picked up on causing a chuckle to escape his mouth

“Oh, so pointed, Lambkin… no need for such hostility-”

Wrong.

You wasted no time in leaning forward and grabbing his masked cheeks in your hand and grumbling to him, nose nearly touching the nose of his mask. His eyes were wide under the mask. You could see it. This hot asshole was going to get it.

“No? Who was the one that was watching me sleep?”

You cocked a brow and the way you spoke drew a shudder from him. You needed more. You needed to see this man writhe.

But of course, you still had decency left in you. You weren’t that cruel.

“Do tell me to stop if you please, hm?”

Varre gave a confused look through the eyes of his mask before being shoved to the ground, mask torn from his face. He was at a loss for words. But he made no complaint. Especially not when you captured his lips in a searing kiss, fingers hooking into his trousers. He almost wished you wouldn’t ask permission…

But you did. You pulled your lips off his.

“May I?”

He grumbled

“Do not cower now… continue”

And you seemed to like that answer a little too much. He let out a more than embarrassing whimper when you captured his lips again and ripped his trousers down, free hand clutching his hair in your hand, tightly.

He could have sworn he saw stars when you gripped his cock without warning and ripped your lips away from him.

“Beg me to touch you”

He halted, mouth slack and open in shock 

“P-pardon?”

He stuttered through your gentle touches over his cock. It was divine of course he wanted you- no, needed you to touch him.

“Beg me to touch you”

You spoke again, stern and commanding, tugging at his hair as you slowed your movements over his cock. He let out a sharp gasp finally. His face was red, he was embarrassed. Perfect.

“P-please… do not stop… touch me further”

Varre’s voice was a cracked whimper and it seemed to satisfy you because you wasted no time in stroking his cock as quickly as you could, leaving him gasping and whining like a bitch.

He was a bitch.

You sped up your motions, eyes trained over his features, mere inches from his face. His head was tilted back, his jaw was slack, his eyes were closed, and his brow was knit as he succumbed to pleasure.

Then you removed your hand from his hair and gripped his face by the jaw, tightly. His eyes snapped open and he damn near scowled at you.

“Aw… tch… such an ugly look for a pretty boy”

You cooed in reference to his scowl and he all but moaned as loud as his lungs allowed, your hand picking up speed with your own words. It was all he needed to suddenly send him over the edge, release dripping down your hand and his cock. You let go and he watched as you licked his release off of yourself. Filthy. He shuddered.

“You want more, hm? You want me to make you feel even better, hm?”

Varre, ever the prideful man, simply whined. That was not enough. You squeezed his jaw a little tighter in your hand and made him look at you. “Look and answer me- before I grow impatient”

Varre let out an unholy groan and gasped.

“Yes- yes please-”

And that was enough. In about 30 seconds time, you had stripped off your own trousers and smallclothes. Varre looked at you like a man starved. He was practically drooling. However, he did not expect for you to place yourself over his face, cunt waiting for him and a smirk on your face.

“Eat up, baby, maybe I’ll let you fuck me if you do a good job”

That, again, was all he needed before he surged forward, lapping at your folds before delving his tongue into your cunt, the feeling caused you to shudder but you bit your lip and simply released a shaky breath.

“Mhm… fuck baby, such a good boy for me…”

You cooed, keeping yourself together pretty damn well until his lips found their way to your clit and he sucked like a man starved. You let out a gasp and loud moan. You could feel him smirk underneath you… he would regret that.

Varre continued to attack your sensitive bundle of nerves, occasionally stopping to circle his tongue around it before continuing to suck at it. You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening and threatening to snap, praises falling from your lips as you neared the edge and finally, crashed over, legs shaking as you spilled over his face. And the damn bastard drank it up, his eyes watching you.

“Mph, fuck baby… did so good…”

You cooed the words out and to him, they were like honey in his ears. Finally as you moved off of him and reached for your trousers, he propped himself up on his elbows in confusion… he’d expected you to go all the way. You simply turned to him with an innocent smile as you clothed yourself once more.

“Didn’t say I’d let you fuck me right now~”

Oh you were good… Varre simply gave in, huffing out something that could come off as a chuckle. Perhaps next time…

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, please forgive me if this sounds deranged. I understand if you don't reply, but I don't know any older women like me to go to for advice. Also, please disregard this if i forget to press anon (paranoid lol)

I never thought I wanted kids, my fiancé says she doesn't (sometimes she says things that make me think otherwise, but im going to say she doesn't because I have to take her at her word)

The thing is that recently it's been more and more in my head. Im in my early 30s so I don't know if it's a biological clock thing, I know I should say it to her but im not sure if I should either because I don't want to cause problems in our relationship, but also I don't even know if I understand how I feel about it (this is made worse by the fact that, while we live in the same city, we have temporarily had to live apart for financial reasons while saving for a mortgage)

The thing is, I feel like I'm starting to really want kids, which I know I should say to her

But

I feel like I only want kids with her if that makes sense? If I was with anyone else, I wouldn't want to

I'm not even sure if I actually want kids at all. It's more like (sorry if this is gross or anything). i have this increasing... need for want of a better word? To have with her what straight people have, I wish I could get pregnant by her somehow, I wish I could make a person who is made of me and of her, this makes me feel guilty and pained and confused (just to clarify this is not sexual confusion, I am and have always been exclusively same-sex attracted) I guess I just am at the point where I love her so much that I want something that I can't have, im not sure whether I actually want kids or whether it's some hormonal thing but (I know this sounds weird) i3 guess I wish I could express our love in that way? But I'm kind of in my feelings and confused about it, I dont know where to start or whether to tell her or what I would even say to her about it. Also most of my friends are either younger (wouldn't get it) or straight (and it would be humiliating to me to go to them over something that they could do without a second thought)

Anyway, i thought I'd come here because I know you have a lot more experience than me, and i was wondering what you would do in my position

I am one of those moms who never wanted kids. I am a realist and understood from a pretty young age that kids are a pain in the ass. They are expensive, a lifelong commitment, noisy, unpredictable and invasive. I was raised around nephews and nieces and younger cousins .I saw women my age get pregnant in high school. I grew up in the 80’s where half the “After School Specials” were about the hardships of teen pregnancy and a fair amount of books for teen girls and sitcoms aimed at my demographic featured young women having and raising unplanned kids. I very clearly saw the writing on the wall and wanted NO part of it. I wanted MY LIFE to be mine. 

     I have 5 kids all adopted from foster care and the truth is I didn’t want ANY Of them. I stated in my dating profile that kids were a deal breaker. I communicated over the course of my second relationship that kids were of negative interest to me and my life. My mind never changed and in all truth I just got tired of saying no and we became foster parents. MY ex loved the “IDEA” of being a parent but not the actual work. I understood this about her which was one reason I pushed back for years before giving in and agreeing. I know, based on my parents and my siblings I would be a decent mom, I just didn’t want to be. My kids are all grown except my 17 year old. They are 25, 25, 26 and 23. I have a pretty good relationship with them. My oldest daughter has a daughter who is 21 months. I am not a wonderful grandma. I work all the time and we live hours apart. I am focused on my life and home and future because for a 17 year marriage I neglected it. My kids all know I was a reluctant parent because we have a very open and honest relationship.

      Parenting with my ex was horrible. I worked two jobs, budgeted, did the majority of the homework, bedtime ritual, morning prep and house work and I spent years being exhausted. I partially stayed with her because until the final adoption we could not legally be married so I had NO legal right to the older 4 and was not about to abandon them to my wife. 

      I am telling you this background so you understand that I have a unique and possibly skewed perspective about parenting as a lesbian. It is totally normal to be unsure about wanting kids. I would say most straight people also go back and forth between the emotional idea of having kids as an extension of love and of a good use of their compatibility and partnership, to have and raise a happy, healthy child (ren) AND knowing the stress of money, unpredictable times, and the fact that, no matter how great parents are , kids are people and they very quickly for their own idea, personalities and who KNOWS what can happen given those facts. The difference is just that lesbians can’t accidentally become parents so we have to either overcome the fear and want the kids more than we don’t OR stay childless. Many great parents did not get there with careful planning, just one day they are thrust into the role and step up to the task. 

     My advice is to keep talking to your partner about your thoughts." I think I might want kids” is not the same and “WE MUST have kids or I won’t be happy”. Communicate your confusion and insecurities about it and also the good things you see about becoming parents.  I highly suggest volunteering for Big Brother Big Sisters, or even getting a foster care respite license. When you do respite you are essentially babysitting kids so adoptive and foster parents can get a break. These kids can be everything from charming and sweet to struggling with mental illness and trauma (which is why it requires training).. You can get a lot of fulfillment, experience and learning moments plus you are giving exhausted caretakers a break. Offer to babysit a friend's kids. See if the local Girl Scout needs volunteers, A lot of nature centers run kids summer programs or weekend programs like birthday parties and always need volunteers. Consider taking some childhood or first time parent classes. All of this is to give you a well rounded perspective of how kids can be, which is sometimes awful but very often wonderful and sweet and even when they are misbehaving you can feel joy in watching these tiny people learn and grow. 

You are correct about the idea of biological children vs adoption. They are not the same. I know a lot of people want to believe that they are exactly the same connection and bond but in my experience that is a lie people often tell themselves.  The fact is, parenting a child that is not biological does take a little more effort to bond and connect. Eventually it strengthens and can be wonderful but it is unique. Not better or worse, just different. My kids were all older, 4, 7, 8, 10, and 16 when they came into my life so they were already established in personality and habits and world view so it took time to align with each other. We are now all more like friends than a parent/child relationship but perhaps that just happens with age and maturity.  Adoption is by far cheaper with more available resources (through foster care) than using a sperm bank or asking a friend to donate so one of you can be pregnant but each couple needs to weigh what works for them. 

     I would suggest putting off major discussions until you can see each other but if not, do it over zoom or facetime so you can see each other’s expressions and have a nuanced conversation. I would not make any major purchases like a house until you are settled a bit and you both are at least on the same page with kids. That page might be neither of you are sure yet or that you both think it should wait until life is less up in the air to decide together. If you land solidly in the “i must have kids” camp and she says “NO”, you might have your answer. Then you must decide between letting go of the need for kids or moving on from the relationship. The worst thing you can do is push someone who is expressing that they don’t want kids into having kids. This is a bad deal. 

I know this is a lot. Kids are a big deal to both the relationship and to the kids who are brought into that relationship, no matter now that happens. I wish you the best and I hope, together, you can talk it out and get some clarity.

[wooahaes]

Hi, hope you’re doing well. If possible, I’d like to request #1 “I’ll be there in 10” and #6 “Be more careful” with Seungcheol, please and thank you! I hope this prompt list helps you get out of your funk. Take care! ❤️

stormy weather

pairing: non-idol!s coups x gn!reader

prompt: 1 + 6 from these prompts   

word count: 0.7k

warnings: storm w heavy rain mention!! worried cheol. implied shower together post-fic but its not rly written to be sexual. intentional lowercase + no proofreading!

daisy’s notes: im doing ok!! kinda trying to fix my sleep schedule a lil rn since i can afford to now lol its been helping a lil when i can sit down and write! you take care as well <3

seungcheol had reread your last text to him about twenty times over the past half-hour: i’ll be there in 10!!!

of course, that was sent almost thirty-five minutes ago, and seungcheol was starting to worry. it was raining hard outside, so he’d eased off at first since public transit could take longer when the weather was bad. he texted you a few minutes after your estimated arrival time to ensure that you were in your bus to zero response. seungcheol had started pacing near the entryway to your apartment, eyeing up his own raincoat. he knew where your stop got off... he could at least go wait for you so he knew you came home safely.

seungcheol let out a long sigh and could already hear your playful nagging. that you’d be home soon enough, that he worried too much over you (he never saw it that way: it was dark, the weather was awful, he worried the right amount about you getting home safely), that it was just “a little rain” and that you wouldn’t melt from it. the elevator ride down to the lobby of your building was enough for him to start planning: he’d just go to your stop. if he found you walking home, then that was fine. either way, he’d be there waiting for you.

except he took maybe three steps into the lobby before he watched you talk in through the front door and immediately slip upon trying to dry off before you trekked too much water into the building. seungcheol quickly made his way over to you to steady you.

he’d already begun scolding you for not texting back, and then frowned when you fumbled with your umbrella. “be more careful,” he said, fingers fiddling with the buttons on your raincoat. “i was about to go looking for you--why didn’t you answer me?”

“my phone died,” you looked up, “and you took my portable charger.”

that he did. he frowned again, wiping away a drop of water from your face. he took your hand, holding it tight within his own to keep you steady as he guided you back to the elevator. soon enough, he’d leave you within the front door of your apartment to find towels for you. when he came back, you were pulling off your soaking wet shoes to put them away. he merely threw a towel over your still-wet head, beginning to dry you off despite your whine.

“i can do it myself, you know,” you reached blindly for his hands, pulling them away. he watched as you pulled the towel back, leaning in for a kiss that he dodged. “cheollie....” you pouted, “i didn’t mean to scare you.”

“what happened?” he took your hands, guiding you with him. “was your bus late?”

“the traffic was bad so i got off early and decided to walk,” you said with a shrug. “the street was empty, it didn’t take that long. i was only off the bus for maybe ten minutes. the traffic was bad.”

“how long after did you regret it?”

he watched the way you sucked in your lips, fully caught in your regrets. “like. three minutes later, but the bus was already gone so i decided to commit.”

“i would have paid for your taxi,” he pouted, before leaning in to press a kiss to your temple. “go take a shower or you’ll get sick.” 

“then join me and i will,” you teased. you looked up to see seungcheol, unimpressed, and staring back at you. “oh. cheol,” you frowned, the weight of his worries finally hitting you. “i’m sorry--”

“it’s not your fault--” he immediately said, pulling you in to rest against him, “i just want you to be safe. okay? it’s my fault for taking your charger, too,” he shut his eyes.

you reached up for one of his hands, just to curl your fingers around it. “i’m home now. and you saved me from busting my ass downstairs--”

he chuckled softly. “go turn on the water,” he said, letting you go. “i’ll be there in a moment.”

you’d laughed after saying something that, on a good day, would have made him blush and whine at you. the idea of cuddling with you in the shower (and, maybe, cuddling with you in bed, too) felt better once he let go of the worries he’d been carrying still. you were home now, after all. now it was his turn to make sure you didn’t get sick after your rainy adventure home.

if that meant staying in the warm water with you for a few extra minutes, just to hold you close? then so be it.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune

[storiesofsvu]

Alright, thanks to injury we are home on a Thursday rather than stuck working a function so we’re here and ready to go for law and order!!

Okay this mothership episode isn’t grabbing my attention too much so far, if I have nothing else to say, don’t blame me lol.

Dude… im not sure if this is the actual plot twist cause we do have half an hour more to go, but I called it being the partner right off the bat.

I wasn’t fully paying attention, but like… they can and will subpoena this cop into testifying right? Like if he doesn’t, he gets charged/fined/goes to jail? Correct? Wtf dude…

Okay, I do dig Jess. She’s growing on me. I also really like how she’s always in t shirts while her detectives wear full on suits LOL. I’m glad we’re getting more background info on her as this season goes on. I feel like we already know more about her than we knew about kate.

Im sorry? Is her having a meeting/getting investigated by IAB supposed to be a surprise? The other captain literally said they would fire him if he testified to the thing she ended up testifying to??? Like… duh??

Alright, svu time. I’ll actually be paying attention, promise LOL.

“youre a defense attorney, why don’t you try defending me for a change!?” LOOLLL. Carisi…. That was a good line.

GOD the hesitation and not wanting to take off his wedding ring… ahhhh. Our sweet little in love boi.

Now watch the entire fandom try to figure out what 0188 means to carisi.

Amanda hearing this and knowing that the fear of getting shot/killed in the field was one of the reasons she left the job in the first place and thinking their little family was safe and now carisi has got himself stuck into a similar situation. UGH. Let them be fucking happy.

“you really think you should be down here?” oh fuck you buddie, obvi she’s gonna be there…

I get that the older guy is fucking insane and like, just wants to commit crimes, but if “we wanted to drink, need money for that. Saw the store had an atm, the girls had cards” why not just fucking steal the booze???

How do cops not burst into laughter at the ridiculous demands some of the low life low brow criminals demand in situations like this?! Lool

Honestly it’s pretty surprising it’s taken this long for olivia to end up heavily involved in the situation lol.

I REALLY hope that next time we see our squad that Velasco and silva actually get some screen time. This is getting fucking ridiculous. We have an ensemble cast, it’s small, but they exist and are each supposed to be in each ep. I get that ice has an entire career outside of svu and he’s only there for the paycheques so he can dip in and out whenever he wants. But how about we let the ones who are new actually get some character development. Like, kate and joe have had max two scenes with like, three lines each so far and Bruno and fin are nowhere to be seen. (again, I know that we get heavy carisi involvement and they’ve got to pay kelli, but still. It’s an ongoing trend, not just tonight.)

Also lowkey surprised amanda hasn’t kicked down the fucking door and burst in there guns blazing herself. Cause if it wasn’t for their kids, she would have.

Amanda looking more stressed/worried/heartbroken about olivia going inside to swap for carisi is…. Something… lol. Jemily. It’s giving jemily. Yeah I know it’s rolivia, but you know what I mean if you watch both shows.

Were the swat guys not already like half storming the door the moment the shot was fired, why was there enough time for all of that before they got in? they easily could have busted it down/broken the glass and unlocked it.

See. First thing carisi does is put the ring back on. Im telling ya

That ending was just fucking depressing. Like, OBVIOUSLY HE’S NOT OKAY. And him turning down therapy is… expected, but also like, he needs it. If amanda finally buckled down and went, I think he can handle that. He never got any closure/help/comfort the last time he was held at gunpoint. Now this time, he’s going to be holding onto guilt and the blame of both people that died, the girl who was raped AND the fact that he lied to the younger perp. ALL of that is going to be a dark cloud over his head for god knows how long and he’s just going to clam up and say he's fine and not talk to amanda about it until it blows up way too big and late. AND we have to wait til January to get any kind of follow up? Ugh. Honestly, it’s time for him to retire/shift jobs/shift boroughs.

Neither episode tonight was great tbh. Peter’s acting was good, kelli’s was good. Those are about all the notes I have.

I’ll be watching Grey’s later and 911 likely tomorrow or whenever it decides to pop up on Disney.

[miharuhebinata]

monthly game tag time!

this is going to be a veryyyyy long post, so buckle in

may

1. Hollow Knight

[played on ps4.]

thoughts: i know i literally just replayed hollow knight back in like, what, last august? but i had a strong urge to play it again and after the shitshow that was my life in march/april, i decided what the hell. i'm probably going to be doing a yearly replay anyway, though i won't hold myself to any kind of strict schedule in regards to that. i'll just play it when i feel like it and keep track of when and how it goes with these posts.

but anyway, on to my thoughts (yes, i still have thoughts on this game lmao): the game is definitely getting easier with every replay, which makes me very very happy. don't get me wrong, there are definitely still plenty of challenging bits (looking at you, trial of the conqueror. bane of my fucking existence -_-), but apparently i've managed to memorize a good chunk of the attack patterns for most of the boss fights. hornet and the mantis lords are the most obvious example of this, as i literally beat both on my first try. which was a tiny bit disappointing, just because those fights are so fun, but also extremely satisfying. literally had me feeling like a pro gamer LMAO

2. Princess Peach: Showtime! (Demo)

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: i've been so excited for this game ever since i saw the first trailer, and the demo certainly didn't disappoint! the two levels you get to play, as swordfighter peach and patisserie peach, were very fun, and just everything from the level designs to the gameplay to, of course, the costumes are so cute. i definitely want to play the full game! ....unfortuanately i've heard the game is actually pretty short overall? supposedly it's around 6-8 hours of playtime, which honestly just seems absolutely ridiculous considering it costs fucking $60 for a game i could (theoretically) knock out in a day but hey, that's nintendo for you 🙃 so, yeah. not entirely sure when or even if i'll get to play the full game. which is a damn shame.

3. Agatha Christie - Murder on the Orient Express (Demo)

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: seems like a fun game! although i will say, it was quite jarring to realize it takes place in the modern day. hercule poirot does not look like a character who should know what a smartphone is, i'm sorry 😂 but yeah, i'm definitely interested in playing more, although i'll probably wait for it to go on sale. i liked it but i don't need to play it right now or anything lol

4. NOX

[played on mobile.]

thoughts: a quick little better-than-average mobile puzzle game. tbh i enjoyed the first half more than the second half. by the end i was just like meh, but i guess i still recommend it if you're looking for a decent puzzle game on mobile

5. Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion

[played on mobile.]

thoughts: i've been wanting to play this for a while, and it did not disappoint! such a fun, silly little game. pretty much my only complaint is that i wish it was longer, but apparently now there's a sequel? so i guess i can always try that! :)

6. Blossom Tales: The Sleeping King (Demo)

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: seemed fun but also the demo was extremely short so idk. i liked the obvious zelda inspiration, but it mainly just reminded me of chrono trigger. honestly i think i'd be more interested in replaying that than in playing this, but who knows. maybe someday!

7. OneShot

[played on pc.]

thoughts: I ABSOLUTELY ADORED THIS GAME!!!!!!!!! everything about it is so beautiful, from the story to the graphics to the soundtrack (which, if you know me at all, i'm a sucker for a good video game ost and this one DOES NOT DISAPPOINT 🥰). i don't want to say too much, because i really think everybody should play this one for themselves, but i will say it is EXTREMELY meta. which is not a spoiler, as you find this out very early on, but again, the less you know the better. so i'll just say this: make sure the name on your computer matches your real name! i believe the game *does* give you the option to input whatever name you want (i'm not 100% sure, but i think so), but i feel like the story will hit harder if you use your real name. plus, if you've changed your name recently but forgot to update the name on your account (like i had), this is at least a good reminder to do so :)

8. Ib

[played on pc.]

thoughts: while i played the remake, i can definitely see why this is a rpg maker horror classic! like honestly, idk what else there is to say about it that other people haven't said already? it's not super long and though it's not pants-shittingly terrifying or anything, it's got a very strong, creepy atmosphere to it. now that i think about it, it actually reminds me a lot of alice in wonderland.... which is such a huge plus to me, you guys don't even know :3 i especially adored the character design, particularly ib who reminds me of one of my oc's <3

9. A Short Hike

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: i want to live in this game <3 seriously, if you're looking for a nice chill game to play this one should be right up your alley! it's not long but i promise it is still so, so worth it. beautiful pixel graphics, lovely soundtrack, and a surprisingly poignant story....yeah i loved this one a lot. my one and only complaint is that the beachstick ball minigame can rot in hell LMAO

june

1. Moonlighter

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: idk about the pc version, but PLEASEEEEEE DO NOT BUY THIS GAME ON THE SWITCH. IT SUCKS ASS. for as enjoyable as the actual gameplay is (which honestly, was not even that fun after the first couple hours), the game is buggy as hell. especially when rolling. do NOT roll near walls, or you risk getting stuck inside them. which is especially annoying inside the dungeons, getting stuck inside a wall on some random floor long before you ever meant to have to leave.... pretty much ruined my whole experience. i could barely even bring myself to finish the game, but i forced myself to do it, because i had been meaning to finish this game for forever, and i just wanted to be DONE with it, and so i did, and i was so SO happy....aaaand then i discovered there was a whole new post-game storyline to play through in new game+. -_- at first i felt obligated to finish that before i could say i completed the game, but after playing a few hours, i just said fuck it. honestly the new game+ stuff wasn't even that bad, but i was just so ready to be done with it by that point. fuck this game. absolutely adorable graphics and a nice soundtrack, but buggy-as-hell gameplay and an anticlimactic story. completed ruined it for me. boo. boooooooo. such a disappointment.

2. Another Code: Recollection (Demo)

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: seems like a very fun game, and i really do want to play the full version! …just not for full price. especially because, after playing the demo, i already had some gripes:

the controls are kind of wonky and by that i mean this just feels like a game that would be better played on pc (yet it's a Switch exclusive).

the (english) voice acting is… definitely not my favorite, to say the least. (that scene of ashley crying as a kid was so fucking annoying, and it went on for wayyyy too long.) ashley does not sound like a 14 year old. which ties into my next point:

okay so i actually FULLY admit this one is mostly on me, but i legit thought ashley was college-age until she explicitly mentioned being 14. like, obviously i understood in retrospect that the story literally said she was 14 long before that (i believe the letter from her father mentioned her 14th birthday?), but because i was pretty tired when i played and also because the character model does not look like a 14 year old girl aside from her being shorter than the adult characters, the voice does not sound like that of a 14 year old, AND she was wearing a university sweatshirt, i thought she was, like, 19-21 and that she for some reason had only recently received her dad's letter? IDK DUDE I'M A LITTLE BIT SLOW 😭

honestly this just kind of made me laugh but i did think it was a bit silly how ashley made a big deal of "yeah sorry D, but i can't help you get your memories back. i've got my own problems. sooooo... yeah, bye." then literally she walks down some stairs, he helps her open a door, and she's immediately like "okay i'll help you and also we're besties, obviously 🤗" like, i'm not saying the game has bad writing (i didn't get to play enough to truly make an accurate judgement) but that felt like the kind of contrived thing i would have written when i was in middle school ngl. but maybe that's the point, since ashley's so young? idk

anyway, i know i've kinda been ragging on it, but like i said, i do still want to play it. the story seems interesting, and i really want to see where it goes! just definitely not for the price of $60 lol

3. Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown (Demo)

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: it was fun! like a mix between immortals fenyx rising, hades, and trine. all of which are right up my alley! but also i was not very good at the combat, which definitely detracted from the experience a bit. i imagine if i was playing the full game i could eventually get used to the combat, but there just wasn't enough time for me to do that in the demo. but i did like it, and i'll definitely consider picking it up if it ever goes on sale for a more reasonable price.

4. Chants of Sennaar (Demo)

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: i enjoyed it so much i actually bought the game. stay tuned for my thoughts on the full game!

5. Growing Up

[played on pc.]

thoughts: so, full disclosure, i only played through one of the routes in this game (richard). when usually i would play through all the route's (or at least more than one) before counting it as finished, honestly i just cannot be assed this time. which isn't to say it's a bad game! it was a very fun game (at first), with interesting stat-building mechanics. i especially enjoy that my previous character + whoever i ended up with become the parents in a new playthrough. however, despite the fact that i had already started having new events when i started a second playthrough, i don't think the gameplay is interesting enough for me to want to replay it multiple times just to see the new events/meet new characters, at least not any time soon. at the very least i wish there was some kind of carry-over bonus. for example, since my character ended up with richard, maybe my current player character could have a boost in empathy? or intelligence, since my previous character's intelligence was so high. something like that.

also the parents sucked, they had nothing to do with anything unless they were giving me their stupid parent expectations goals, which got really annoying by high school age because the goals often took up desperately needed schedule slots. also especially bitter because literally right after i had completed a goal of tutoring 10 times in a row, they gave me a goal of helping out some neighbors (aka buying groceries ten times in a row) and when i had my character be like "will i get paid?" stupid fucking idiot dad was like "omfg why are you so selfish??? 😤" BITCH I JUST TOOK UP A BUNCH OF MY VALUABLE SCHEDULE SLOTS TO DO TUTORING FOR ONE OF YOUR STUPID FUCKASS GOALS????? KYS YOU ANNOYING BITCH OMFG

6. Harmony: The Fall of Reverie (Demo)

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: of the few (spoiler-free) reviews i've seen, reactions seem kind of mixed overall, but personally i really enjoyed what i got to play! the art is beautiful and the game mechanic of the augural is definitely unique and interesting. unless the story really starts to branch out though, i don't see there being much replayability; which makes me just a tad reluctant to buy it, even on sale, especially seeing as it's apparently only ~10 hours long. speaking of, i am VERY surprised the demo is as long as it is. hard to put it into hours, since i'm a slow reader, but you get to play 2 out of 5 chapters, i believe?? it certainly got me hooked and invested in the story, but that also just seems crazy, letting you play that much in the demo. so i guess, taking all of this into account, i think i'll just wait for a really good sale. like, i do want to eventually see where the story goes, but not for more than $10 lol

7. AI: The Somnium Files (Demo)

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: seems like a fun game, but also kind of weird. one of the characters blew up a balloon to comical size and the main character's response was something like "i wish your boobs were that big" whshgsjsjlskdj ???????? still planning to play it eventually lmfao but i'm gonna play it on pc. definitely seems like a game that's better on pc

8. Chants of Sennaar

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: ah, what a fun game, and such a beautiful artstyle too (it actually reminded me a lot of sable!); however, while i did really like the game overall, i will say that— as with most people who have played both games— i can't help but compare this against heaven's vault and, personally, even with all the issues i had with it, heaven's vault is definitely the better game in my eyes. while i wouldn't say the translation mechanics in this game are at all easy, it was easier than in heaven's vault. in this game, all you really had to do was match the right glyphs to the right pictures. which, obviously was often a challenge, don't get me wrong, but it was at least somewhat easier than i originally thought it would be: i thought i had to get my guess at the translation right too, but that part of it mainly seems to be so you can remember what the glyph means (or approximately what it means) before you actually verify it. so that was a little disappointing, although it certainly helped make things easier in the long run. which turned out to be a good thing that was actually a bad thing, because i'm not gonna lie, i played the majority of the game over the course of a single day. this was not a good idea (obviously), because it resulted in sleep-deprivation and me hurting my wrists/palms from holding the Switch for so long. clearly this was my own fault, but it did still detract from the experience, unfortunately. the inability to fully concentrate really kept me from fully immersing myself in the latter half of the game, which is likely why the ending fell a tiny bit flat for me. also, i have to mention. there was one puzzle i had to look up a guide for how to solve it, and even now i still don't get it and idk if i ever will. so, i'm kind of bitter about that 😭 but yeah, i don't want to keep ragging on the game, because overall it was great! definitely worth the hype imo. and if the core game mechanics of translating made-up languages sounds fun to you, i definitely recommend checking this one out! just maybe remember to take breaks and get some sleep so that you don't ruin your own experience like i did mine :/

9. The Roottrees are Dead

[played on pc.]

thoughts: if you like mysteries, difficult puzzles, or even just family drama, this is the game for you! it's actually been compared to the likes of return of the obra dinn and the case of the golden idol, and that definitely holds up imo. not in terms of graphics, but just in that you are given a mystery that you need to solve (or an extensive family tree that you need to fill out, in this case) and the game does not hold your hand. i will say, although it's been a while since i played either return of the obra dinn or the case of the golden idol, i think this game was definitely easier than those two (shorter, too). but it was still very rewarding! like i said, it was easier, not easy. honestly i really hope this game gains some traction, because we definitely need more difficult mystery puzzle games like it!!!!

10. Unpacking

[played on pc.]

thoughts: don't really have much to say except that it was a nice chill game 👍

11. Tunic

[played on nintendo switch.]

thoughts: i actually started this soon after chants of sennaar, but i finished it last (the roottrees are dead and unpacking serving as breathers). i really REALLY liked this game at first. it was different than i thought it was going to be, but i was still enjoying the challenge even when i wasn't, you know? aaaaand then i kind of hated it, because certain parts of the puzzle you have to solve in order to achieve the true end were extremely frustrating and overly convoluted imo. but overall, after seeing the end credits you get after the true end, i think i left off on a good note. at the very least i would definitely recommend this game to anyone who enjoys a difficult challenge not just in terms of combat, but in solving deep intricate puzzles as well <3

started but not finished yet:

Sea of Stars (Demo) - started in june. won't be finishing, but only because i decided to buy the full game!

Neo: The World Ends With You (Demo) - started in june. won't be finishing, because the gameplay just seemed a bit monotonous.

Paleo Pines (Demo) - started in june. won't be finishing, because the artstyle was not very appealing to me.

Tangle Tower (Demo) - started in june. won't be finishing, but only because i think i'd prefer to play it on pc.

Who's Lila - started in june. probably won't be finishing, because it just didn't seem like the game for me. which sucks, because i had been looking forward to playing it for a while :(

[thetruemek]

think I just might have killed myself with Knoppers Riegel. rip, insert chestburster scenes 1-12, it is half past 10 pm good night everyone sorry no open casket I might jump out and attack someone lmao also the aquarium was overrun today on the day I didn't have a lot of classes and I really wanted to go but then the coat check was before??? the ticket guy and I was like hey sorry I only got big mula. so she's like oh you could pay for your coat when you leave instead?, i'm like lol yea sure and turn to the ticket guy with my mula who's like nah sorry bitch, tickets only AT THE FUCKING ZOO ENTRANCE and im like but but but I already gave the lady my jacket why- what- UGH FINE aight

walk out of the aquarium, cursing myself for not simply buying a ticket online like last time but then again I wasn't rly sure if I wanted to go today- anyway, it's fine, everything's FINE we'll just get the fucking ticket from the zoo's main entrance and OMFG WHY'S THERE LIKE 40 PEOPLE IN LINE???

it's STILL fine I'll just wait a little in the cold, no jacket, jup, 's cool, imma tough noodle yuppp. 15 minutes later I finally get to the ticket booth and sigh, relieved: one (small tiny almost childlike could've probably passed for 15 lol) adult ONLY for the aquarium (because the prize combined with the coat check would've been the 3xact amount I had on hand) cashier lady is just like "yeeeaaaah no, we all booked out bitch, new tickets in about an hour lmao"

me, on the verge of tears, the icy wind biting into my cheeks almost mockingly now: "haha aight guess no aquarium for me this week lol byyyyeeee" head back to the aquarium and the coat check, barreling my way trough the exit because I unsubscribed from waiting in line for the next year thank you, look at the lady and just press out: "hey uh yeah, can I have my jacket back??? They don't have any more tickets and I just wanna go."

when I tell you this bitch had the AUDACITY to look at me as if I SOMEHOW, MIRACULOUSLADYBUGLY COMMITED SOME SORT OF CRIME, before handing me my fucking jacket to protect me from the harsh elements to trudge back to my hotel room and mope for the next 6 hours before binging myself to death and (hopefully) falling asleep soon....

Yeah, sorry, no fish-pics for you this time guys, sorry

Imma die now

[superfluouskeys]

need to vent a lil bit

so this fall term is going to be really busy for me, I know this I have planned for this.  I have to do like an “experiential learning” thing that will amount to approx 25 hours of work per week and tends to be a whole thing.  BUT, a few weeks back my fave professor asked me if I was interested in interning for a judge which is like a really good thing to do and to have on your resume, and since I had her pushing for me specifically I had a much better chance of getting it bc she’s very well-known and well-respected.

so I had this whole crisis ALREADY of like oh no this would be a LOT this would perhaps be TOO MUCH am I sure I can handle this I do not want to accidentally overextend myself and FAIL MISERABLY at everything.  but I thought about it and I was like you know what.  this is fine.  it will be a lot but it will only be a lot for like 3 months, and it’s too good of an opportunity to pass up.  and I might not even GET the internship so.

but anyway I asked my experiential learning director professor if it was okay to apply, she said that’s fine good luck, the application process moved REALLY fast so as I was having 3 separate mental breakdowns it was literally like Wednesday evening fave prof told me to prepare my documents, Thursday morning I submitted, Friday morning I got an interview, 2 hours later I got the offer – and I was insanely excited like this is honestly a pretty big deal, I am both personally excited to do the work and excited in the sense that it will look amazing on my resume!

so I had to submit an application to get class credit for the internship, it was a whole thing but I assumed it would be fine since I had everything settled, it’s GETTING A LITTLE LATE since school starts in a week and a half so I was starting to feel like uhmmmmmmmmm hello.  I need to do admin things pls approve my thing.  but today I finally get an email and it’s like soooooooooo have you talked to your experiential learning prof about this?  have you talked to the judge about this?  we need to have a conversation about the time commitment here.

so I sent an email back like yes I’ve already done all that do you want me to send the email where the prof said it’s fine? and I have gotten NO RESPONSE and in the meantime I have become insane all over again LOL like you know how sometimes someone gently suggests to you like “hmmm that’s pretty hard what you’re trying to do are you sure you’re up to the task” and you’re like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh I was sURE BEFORE BUT NOW IM PANICKING AGAIN LOL

like I’ve literally been mentally preparing myself for this for months at this point, I knew it was going to be a busy term before I even got the internship and had to kind of re-evaluate/rearrange things to accommodate internship bc again, it’s an opportunity I cannot pass up, but UGH you know I’m just like having the crisis all over again sdjfnjkjnfkjfnf

I had some pretty serious depression/anxiety issues when I was in undergrad and just ZERO tools to deal with them, and so there were times when I really struggled to keep up with everything and completely failed to keep up with certain things, and like………..for the most part I have accepted that I was doing the best I could, that I am a completely different person now and generally do a VERY good job of managing everything, that like I had a pretty bad mental health incident(tm) my first year of law school and have had a few other minor hiccups and handled them all very well and didn’t have any serious problems with school or anything so like IF something were to go wrong like I do think I have the tools and fortitude to deal with it and not let anything vital slip.

but idk I’m just annoyed that I already went thru this whole thing multiple times and now I have the bad brain again LOL like pls just approve my application and let me worry about my terrible choices okay sorry just needed to get this off my chest as you were

[gaybd1]

okay sorry I need one more vent post

my roommate at the old place, I’ve always gotten along great with (our dogs are best friends and she pretty much raised mine when she rescued his as a baby)

is there a bit of a language barrier there? yeah

but also she’s just passive aggressive like I never cleaned the house a lot but tbh neither did she. and anytime I did do anything I think she just assumed it was her boyfriend who’s ALWAYS there? but we would never have a conversation about a single thing house-wise

like okay, if I’m cooking I’m gonna wash all the dishes in the sink, not just my own. But several times I’ll leave like. A cup in there for a day (it’s just one cup!! it needs friends before I can wash!!) but then she uses dishes and washes allll of hers but leaves me the cup? Shit like that. But like overall it’s been fine

We had a two year lease and we just finished one year (we lived together somewhere else for a year before that) and

1. only her name is on the lease. hehehe fine by me

2. she knew the landlord prior to renting (a former student’s parents I think?)

3. this house was tiny okay

So anyway in the last year her boyfriend has been totally living there full time which we never really had a discussion over and somehow I’m still in charge of 14,000 of the 25,000 rent (my room is bigger but ????) and half the utilities

So I got a job out of town and the conversation evolved from

“I got a job out of town but I’ll keep living here bc I know we committed to two years and it would be shitty to leave you”

to

“Actually what if I did move out?” to which she was like “okay sure, I can find someone to move into your room”

Wow, permission, great

I started looking at places but it took about a month to land anything. Work hasn’t started yet anyway.

The first week I start going up for the new job I casually mentioned my move in conversation to which she was like “wtf I thought you weren’t doing that anymore? you just never left so I told the person I had lined up that they can’t have the room??” and I’m like. Okay all of this is brand new information to me, I didn’t know I was on a time crunch??

anyway I did find a place and signed for it and was like “listen I know this is a shitty situation (and I know I make way more money- I didn’t say that part) so I’m offering to keep paying for my room here even though I’m not living here” and she was like “that’s crazy I can’t ask you to do that” and we never even continued/revisited that conversation??

Anyway as soon as she knew I was leaving she just mentally checked out and the interaction between us wasn’t huge. I think she judged me for some reason? like she didn’t think I was putting my dog in the best situation by moving to a bigger city?

She recently quit her job (she’s opening a restaurant now or something?) and randomly MARRIED HER BOYFRIEND who STILL for some reason won’t take over my part of the lease like girl you were so ready for me to be out of there anyway.

Anyway not that I expected it but she didn’t help me with this move at all. Not even for like translation things that we both know would have helped me. I even asked if someone could be down at the old house to help load the movers when I waited for them up here with the dog and she made some excuse, like okay

So this has been HARD to do all alone (she forgets, she’s been in a relationship for years) especially being gone for work 12 hours a day without a day off. So I forgot some small stuff moving (also I’ve never moved out of a place still being lived in- that’s hard to make sure you’re not forgetting anything) and like. I had some extra moving boxes (brand new) that I left for her bc why not and she wasn’t home for me to ask if she wanted them

So anyway she’s been texting me

1. you forgot your pictures on the walls! (“omg no way I will have to make time to come get them”)

2. all these cleaning supplies in the bathroom? im gonna throw them away for you I guess idk why you forgot them (lol I know you’ve never cleaned a bathroom but ??? I left those on purpose bc you’re still living there?????)

3. you left some food in the cabinet I’ll help you throw it away (it was like. rice and vinegar. again, thought those might come in handy)

4. “did you forget your boxes?” “no I thought you might want to use them” “so I think you should take them with you when you come get the pictures” “lol I mean if you don’t want them you can just recycle them?”

and then she went OFF on me like “I’ve been dealing with your mess ever since I got home and I just really hate that dismissive tone you used just now”

like ?????????

yoh I know this is a long ass post but wtf do I do about that like I’d like to continue being friends even though she’s seemed far from interested in that for a while now…

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Hen mayhaps?

Yep :D

Aww :))

Awww that's cute 🥰🥰🥰

I love them :DD 🥰🥰

Awww Bathena :DD

AWWW he got her flowers :'DD

AAAHHHHH SO DID SHE!! :'DDDD

Y'all I can't 😭😭❤️ I love them so much :'))) 🥰🥰

Awww I love them ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰

My babeys <333

AAHHHHH EDDIE NOOOO

He's gonna meet somebody isn't he 😭😭

Okay so I'm currently catching up on liveblogging (having had to take breaks to do other things) so it's like two hours later l, but when I was watching I was like, really unenthusiastic xDD

So I'm gonna change that a bit lol xD

Just like, the stuff that was already there but buried under my yelling lol xDD

Okay I just accidentally fell asleep, hi it's morning now, we're just gonna ignore it xdd

Also I finished this in the morning from here but then my wifi was weird as I tried to post it and switching to data didn't help so I lost the whole post :'))

So I'm recreating it to the best of my ability xdd

Oope 👀

Is that the girl from the other episode (as in the other day)?

OHH noo (not oh no but oh, no it isn't), it's that girl from that call!!

Right?

Yeah I think so XD

Bye girl :)

Not that I think we're actually saying goodbye to her xd

NOOOO EDDIEEE

DON'T GO BACK AND ASK HER OUT OR SOMETHING

P h e w

Lol

Sorry girl I just love Buddie xD

Speaking of lol

Since it's the other half of Buddie

Heyyy Buck xd

Lol pickles XD

Okay but like could she not find anyone else to stay with xdd

Like this is barely not a studio apartment xD the loft is the only thing separating it lol

You better not end up getting with her sir xdd

Aww I am sorry though Buck :(( xd

AAAHHHHH C O U C H

Sorry just xD yk, I love buddie

And phew Buck didn't give any sign of thing to have any kind of thing with her xd

Anyway

Sorry Buck xdd :(( <333

AAAAHHHHHHH awww :)))

AAHHH they're so adorable :')) 🥰🥰

Lol it does kinda fit him xD

SKFJFHDLKSJKDFGS YES GINA YOU GOTTA TELL HER YOU PROPOSED!!

OHH right XDD you gotta tell her that you found the ring lol, so you're not commiting insurance fraud XDD

Scarring our daughter XDD

Lol you idiots <33

That's who you're marrying :')))) :'DD

AAAAHHHHHHH MARRYINGGGG :'DDD 🥰🥰🥰

Aww my babeys :')) <333

I love them 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️

[yariktrapov]

I was at my 9th year of school and i just transfered to a new school. It was half a city away so i had to wake up early to catch a bus. And i also got extracurriculars. And i got into sports club. And there i met a bunch of queer ppl and we made our own gay school club which we disguised as a board game club.

A month in i joined a biology competition and won the first round. So as a present from our lovely headmaster (❤️) i got unlimited 'skip class' pass. I was USING it. >:))) i still got my reading done and was studying on my own, i just haven't attended class. I was at school mostly to hang out with friends, play games, do cool extracurriculars and work at the library sorting books for our elderly-ish librarian. And after maybe do a workout. The only shitty thing was the school cafeteria lunches that always made me nauseous.

So i was waking up at 4:20 (i could have woken up at 4:30 but i commited to the bit) and coming home at at 21:00 and then promptly falling asleep. Or sometimes i would spend my time near a toilet, heaving.

Basically, my life was poggers.

At the same time i was working up my courage to come out to my mom as bi. She's like.. super homophobic, but also loves me. And at the same time my friend came out and was disowned (i was totally seeing myself being in his shoes). So i was doing some precautions. I asked my friend if i could crash at their couches some time. Asked a few monasteries the same thing lol. Got some money for food. Found out where i could take a shower for free. Where i could charge my phone. Where i could store my stuff. That stuff.

Sooo. After all that i started getting some stuff out of the house.

Sooo. That's my side of the story. Here's what my mom saw:

Daughter, 16 y.o. transfered to a new school. Started dressing up, leaving the house at an ungodly hour, coming back only to sleep. She was skipping classes, avoiding her mother and was throwing up on a regular basis.

She thought i was pregnant O_O

So, like, a few days before i got to my final stages, she cornered me and asked what i was hiding.

And i thought she somehow found out!

So i started crying uncontrollably which didn't help the situation at all. And she was stern and all like: stop crying and tell me what happened. So through hiccups and tears i told and she was.. chill with it? She was confused that's for sure, asked me some questions like: why did i think i was bi, what my experiences with girls were. And then reassured me she loved me no matter what.

We had a lovely night chatting about stuff. She told me she thought i was pregnant. I laughed way too loud for 11 pm (sorry not sorry, neighbours). Found out SHE had a crush on her bff when she was my age. And then she told me it was normal. Now i have a big suspition my mom might be bi as well and just doesn't want to admit it and is also actively fighting anyone wjo can publicly admit that.

After that we talked about how we don't spend any time with one another and i invited her to my sports club. We worked out together once every week and i made some time to go with her to the pool every sunday! Some nice Mom-Daughter bonding. We even bought some icecream afterward.

So! Everything ended good. Yay! Happy ending!

She still 'hates the gays' but i know she loves me and she also pays my tuition so i'm not gonna start a drama about that now.

The end.

say interesting things to me before i blow up

[witchywomanrunningupthathill]

Will You Hold Me?

Request: Hello! I was wondering if I could request a blurb or something similar abt hugging Paul Atreides (as best friends (gn reader))? I feel like he'd give great hugs and I'd never pass on a Paul hug lol. Thank you in advance!

Pairing: Paul Atreides x gn!reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Description: Paul gives you a (much-needed) hug

Warnings: depression, suicidal ideation

A/N: Sorry for the mini-writing drought. I’ve been trying to figure out my life and have been super uninspired lately b/c #depression, but here’s my attempt to both fill this request and convince myself that I don’t feel like dying on the inside :/

Only three hours had passed since you last thought about throwing yourself off one of the Arrakeen Residence’s balconies. It was a long way down the brutalist palace reminiscent of the Egyptian pyramids that were once on Terra. In truth, you didn’t really have much time to lend to these violent thoughts, whether it was the pitching yourself off the balcony or otherwise. You’d thought about the sand worms and the Fremen, and you doubted you’d stand a chance against either. Sometimes you even wished the Harkonnens, in all their entitlement and vitriol, would return to “their Dune” and off you once and for all. 

As these thoughts crossed your mind, hot tears streamed down from your bloodshot eyes. You sat in your chambers, staring across to the single window — if you even wanted to call it that. You sniffle before covering your face with your hands and sobbing silently. You didn’t want to feel like this. Miserable, helpless, misunderstood. 

You’d pray to the stars to fix you, take your pain away, rebalance your body, mind, and spirit. But despite your distress and sincerity in those requests, it seemed that your prayers had fallen on deaf ears. Maybe this was just the cruelty of the Universe. 

Or maybe you were just weak and unwilling to go out and actually do something about your pain. Pull yourself out of this mental hellhole. But it hurt so badly. Your soul ached. You longed for home — for Caladan, for cool breezes and rushing ocean waves, for the sound of the wind rustling through the trees, all of the things that helped you come back to reason when everything started to feel like it was spinning out of control.  Now all you had were the recordings of those sounds from a Caladan filmbook Paul had given to you ages ago. A far cry from the real thing, though, because you were constantly fast-forwarding, rewinding, pausing, and then playing the recording to avoid the commentary on the planet. It was too much work, to be honest. So, you usually found yourself sat on your unmade bed, frustrated and livid that the rest of your life was to be spent on a giant sand dune with half of the universe counting the days to House Atreides’ extinction. 

Perhaps no one would even notice if you did go through with the business on the balcony. Everyone was too busy running around, whether it was attending council meetings, going on aerial excursions around the desert, or even so desperately trying to find a moment for themselves, no one seemed to notice that you hadn’t been present for breakfast nor for your fight training. 

Except, he had. Paul never spent a day without the thought of you crossing his mind at least once. You two hadn’t had the chance to spend much time together since the move to Arrakis just five days ago. He was busy being a prince and you had your own commitments to attend to. Your spiraling thoughts halt as you hear the doors to your chambers slide open. You quickly wipe your tears and opt to lay down again. You pull a pillow up to your face in an attempt to conceal it. 

“Missed you at breakfast…and at fight training…” Paul says, trailing off. You smile sadly at him before turning your attention back to the pillow. He’s still in his fight training clothes, the linen top unbuttoned revealing his pale, lean chest still glistening with sweat. 

He comes to sit on the side of your bed. “You wanna talk about it?” he asks. You frown, keeping your head turned away from him as your face begins getting hot again, tears threatening to fall. 

“Not really…” you croak out. Paul studies you for a moment before pulling off his boots and scooting up next to you. 

“Please, can I see you?” he asks, combing his hand through your hair. His lips are centimeters from your ear. “Please?” he whispers, dragging out the word. You turn over, shoving aside the pillow you’d been using as a shield. 

“Will you hold me?” you mumble, failing to meet Paul’s sympathetic gaze. 

“Come here,” he says as he pulls you tightly into his chest. He kisses the top of your head as you snuggle closer to him. Then the floodgates open. You grip onto the thin linen of his top as you sob, the sounds echoing out into your chambers. Paul just holds onto you, rubbing your back. He’s not exactly sure what to do, but he recalls how his mother would comfort him when he got upset. So, he did his best to do what Lady Jessica did until your cries began to die down. Your forehead brushes against his damp chest. 

“Ew,” you grimace. 

“What?” he asks. 

“You’re sweaty,” you say, pushing away from him slightly and sitting up. 

“That’s never stopped you before,” he declares, trying to tease a smile out of you. Paul sits up and leans against your stone headboard. He directs his attention to the filmbook that’s still playing, its projection slightly grainy on the opposite wall. The filmbook was currently detailing Caladan’s agricultural industry. Something about pundi rice fields. You nudge your head back into his shoulder, giving him permission to embrace you again. 

“I can’t do it, Paul” you admit. 

“Do what?” he probes. 

“Everything. It’s just too much. My brain is like…overloaded with all of this. I feel paralyzed. I don’t want to do anything. But I feel hopeless if I don’t, if I just keep laying here…Everything is just really hard for me to do right now…I feel so alone.” 

Paul doesn’t say anything for a while. He rubs your shoulder, pondering his next words. 

“You don’t have to do anything right now, okay? This move has been hard…and things will probably stay challenging for a while, but we’ll get over this hump.” He looks down at you as you wrap your arm around his abdomen. “And you’re not alone — you’ve got me and mother and father…Duncan…even Gurney!” 

A knock sounds at the door before a young Fremen girl appears from around the corner. 

“Sorry, Samira, could you come back a bit later?” you ask, sniffling. 

“Of course. My apologies, jalalatukah” Samira says before quickly bowing and leaving the chamber. 

You turn back toward Paul, closing your eyes and resting in his embrace. 

“Let’s get you out of this room. Take a walk with me?” Paul suggests. You huff out a breath, considering his offer for a moment. 

“Okay” you say. 

“Yeah?” Paul asks as he pulls his arm from around you and moves off the bed. As you swing your legs over the side, Paul slides your shoes over to you before pulling on his boots. You mirror him. “Ready?” Paul asks, holding out his hands. You take hold of the boy’s hands as he helps you up. 

*jalalatukah - your majesty (my embellishment of the Arabic)

[softguarnere]

The Freudian Slip (Part 2/2)

Part (2/2) - you can call me names if you call me up

Joe Liebgott x reader

A/N: You guys ever mishear a song lyric and center a fic idea around it, only to realize later that you've been singing it wrong for months? Yeah, that's me with "3 Nights" by Dominic Fike. I could have sworn the lyrics were "you can call me names if you call me yours", so at this point, we're just gonna have to commit to it, because this fic took me way too long to finish to change it now lol. (This is written for the fictional depiction from the show -- no disrespect to the real life veterans!) Also thank you to all the lovely tumblr friends who helped with ideas for this fic or offered encouragement 😌 I'm honestly so honored that people reached out to tell me they were excited for part 2💕🕊️

Warnings: depictions of war, language

Things have been different since that day in the foxhole. But you can't find the words the express why it feels that way. Or at least, you can't until Liebgott swipes some Hershey Bars from Luz and tosses one to you.

"He's acting so weird," you confide in Luz, who shoots you a mildly annoyed look when you rip open the wrapper and take a bite. The radioman sighs as he readies himself for the patrol. You roll your eyes, gently knocking your foot against his leg. "I'm sorry I got one of the chocolate bars. You can have half if you want."

Luz laughs, but it's not his usual upbeat chuckle. "No, (Y/N). It's just that he was right."

"Who?"

"Liebgott."

"Well I guess even a broken clock is right twice a day. What was he right about?"

"You." George gives you his full attention. He looks exasperated. "You really haven't picked up on any of his hints." When you raise your eyebrows in question, he sighs again. "(Y/N), are you telling me that you really haven't realized that Liebgott has feelings for you?"

The next bite of chocolate almost lodges itself in your throat as you take a surprised inhale. Carefully, you finish chewing it, wrapping up the rest of the Hershey Bar for later before you ask, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Luz curses softly under his breath. "I can't believe it."

"George, I don't even know what you're talking about. Liebgott hates me." I don't hate you, he had said back in the foxhole that day. "Okay, he doesn't like me very much. That's why he's so mean to me."

Except for recently, when he's suddenly been so different around you. While you've still been tossing teasing remarks his way and trying to ignore the affection you've developed for him through the course of the war, Joe has suddenly stopped his teasing, instead settling for always making sure that you have a K Ration before anyone else, or that you're okay after any sort of run-in with the Germans.

But what does that mean?

Almost as if he can hear your thoughts, Luz provides an answer. "You guys were always sort of hard on each other. But then when he realized that he had feelings for you --"

"How would you know?"

"Because he told me," Luz deadpans. "After Bastogne and Foy and everything, we got to talking one day, and he said that after what you said he realized that he liked you. I told him I didn't know how you felt, but that maybe if he changed how he acted around you, you would catch on."

More questions swirl through your mind at a million miles an hour. You manage to catch onto a few of the more coherent ones. "You mean you knew? And you didn't tell me?"

"He came to me because I'm your friend. I thought that you would catch on and you guys would work it out. I didn't know it would get dragged out like this!"

"And what do you mean, 'after what I said'?" Nothing particularly interesting had happened in the foxhole. Liebgott had established that he didn't completely despise you, you had acted perfectly normal considering that you were stuck with your crush for a whole day, and then he had let you rest. There was hardly any conversation, all things considered.

George's eyebrows scrunch together as he thinks. "Something you called him. Sweetheart, or something. But in German."

"Liebling," you translate automatically.

It feels as if ice water has just been dropped over your head, chilling your spine and then settling in the pit of your stomach. Oh no. Liebling. Liebgott. What did you do?

Before you can even start to think that maybe calling the man you've secretly been in love with Darling isn't as bad as you might think, Luz's mouth falls into a capital O. The icy water in your stomach churns. "I've messed up."

Instead of grinding to a halt, the world around you continues on. Luz even begins readying his gear again. But you need time to think.

"What do I do?"

"Well that depends," your friend says. "How do you feel about Liebgott?" He shoots you a quizzical sideways glance. When you bite your lip, you suddenly have his full attention again. "Oh shit. So you do like him back." There's no question in his voice -- it's a statement of fact.

The very fact you had hoped to keep hidden. The fact that you somehow revealed to the person you were trying to hide it from.

"You're not going on the patrol, and neither is he," Luz points out gently. "Maybe . . ."

. . . you can talk to him while everyone else is away, he doesn't finish, but for the first time in forever, you manage to take a hint.

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth while you think. "Yeah. Maybe."

--

By some stroke of luck – good or bad, you have yet to figure out – you get paired up with Liebgott to man one of the machine guns on the American side of the river. Not the most appropriate time to have a conversation about your feelings towards each other. But then again, there’s a war going on. If not now, when? Something else will always come up. There could always be some other excuse not to talk to him, and then you would just put it off forever. No time like the present.

If only you could find the right words . . . like you had back in the foxhole, when it had been an accident.

“Something wrong?” Liebgott asks as you set up the machine gun. Down below the building, everyone who will be crossing the river is starting to group up, getting final orders before they head out.

“Just thinking. I’m glad it’s not us.” It’s only half a lie. You are glad that you’re not going to be in a tiny boat on a cold river. But it’s not necessarily the thought at the forefront of your mind.

Liebgott nods. “Yeah, well, they didn’t need three translators. High time that Webster pulled his weight around here, after four months in that hospital.”

There’s something about the way he says it that makes you suspect he had something to do with the last-minute notice that you wouldn’t be crossing the river. “Did you do something?”

“Technically, Webster came to the decision on his own. After I pointed out that his German is just as good as ours.”

Just as good as ours. Huh. In the past, he was never willing to put the two of you on par with each other. In your chest, your heart fumbles and it feels like tripping over your own feet when you run.

“Thank you.”

“For what? I didn’t do anything.”

“No, but . . .” Damnit, where are the words when you need them? You huff a sigh. “I’ve been thinking. About when you got hit in the neck in Holland.”

His eyebrows disappear beneath the brim of his helmet as he raises them. “And why is that?”

Your throat goes dry. A second before, you had convinced yourself that there was no time like the present. And now that it’s here . . . You’ve been less nervous in high-stress combat situations.

“That was when I realized how I felt about you,” you admit, the words tumbling out in a rush before you can hold them back. “That was when I realized that I like you.”

Cool, confident Liebgott is good at keeping his face neutral when he wants to. It’s one of the things that you’ve picked up on from watching him, one of those little things about him that you’ve come to adore just because it’s part of what makes him him. For a split second, he freezes. Being so close to him, you can’t miss it. His face starts to go neutral, but the side of his mouth twitches upwards a bit.

“(Y/N), if you’re fuckin’ with me . . .”

“I’m not.”

He laughs louder than someone trying to set up in a stealthy position probably should. It’s not his usual laugh; its half relieved, half confused. “You called me Liebling, but kept pestering me like it was any other day.”

“You used to poke fun at me all the time!”

“Yeah, used to. Then I realized why I was doing it. I thought you would have figured it all out.” He smirks. “I kind of miss giving you a hard time, though. Calling you names and challenging you.”

“Well, you could call me names if you call me yours.” You both blink, taking in what you’ve said. His careful expression cracks to reveal a smile.

“You called me Liebling,” Liebgott remembers. For the first time – or actually, the first time that you’ve noticed – he looks at you with a soft expression as he fondly takes you in instead of sizing you up for competition. “So how does that fit into this?”

“To be fair, I don’t remember saying it,” you admit. You rush on before he can look disappointed, “A Freudian slip; I was worn out and kind of excited about being a foxhole with you.”

He gives you one of his goofier smiles. “Well if I had known that at the time . . .”

You roll your eyes. “Oh yeah. What an experience that would have been.”

“Still . . .” He steps around the machine gun, closing the distance between you. “Do you want me to call you mine? Even if I tease you sometimes?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then.” Liebgott’s smile is bright enough to light up the night and give away your position. “But what if I call you Darling instead?”

Keeping your eyes on him, you reach out and find his hand, intertwining your fingers together; it makes it feel official, somehow. “Then I would like that very much.” You squeeze his hand. It’s surprisingly soft, like his heart, which he has chosen to expose part of to you. “And what should I call you?”

“Anything you want. As long as you call me yours.”