#i could not make most of the tattoos look good so im sans tattooed here

[ritualis]

Twenty Eight (Sept 2022) i hope you make it to the day you're twenty eight years old

original art. do not repost or use | I appreciate reblogs and comments though

i know something is off about it but this is still my favorite self portrait and probably my best portrait in general.

[finelinevogue]

hii im so sorry to bother, i’m trying to find a fic where harry and reader are best friends and its about how he wrote fine line for her and they listen to it together for the first time?? sorry again it’s ok if u don’t want to answer!!

hi i’m really bad at finding fics for people but maybe ask like a fic rec account idk?? i decided to write my own for you, though, in case you never find the others again!! i’m not sure whether it’ll be as good as the others but i enjoyed writing it;

Harry was really fucking nervous.

You were currently setting yourself up on the couch, along with Mitch, Jeff, Tyler and Kid, about to listen to Harry’s album for the first time. You were tucked on an arm chair by yourself and had a blanket draped over your body to keep you warm. The rest of the guys were on the L-shaped sofa, passing out beers between them. This was such a big day for Harry, because he would get to see you listen to his heart and soul through Fine Line.

This past year had been really hard for him, what with losing a relationship with Camille Rowe. Despite what had gone down between the two of them you thought that she hadn’t been a good person for Harry to be around, but that might be your jealous-ego speaking a bit too loudly. Jealous, because he had given his heart to someone that wasn’t you when your heart was waiting for him. Jealous, because you loved him so much and yet you were his best friend. You knew exactly who and what this album was going to be about, and it pained you that you’d have to lie about whether you were okay listening to it.

You weren’t, but you were his best friend so you had to be.

“Corona or San Miguel H?” Mitch asked Harry, from where he was setting up the audio features in his house so he could bluetooth his phone to the ceiling speakers. He was going to put those bloomin’ speakers to use since he paid a legs worth to install them.

“Don’t mind, Mitchy.” He shouted back and you smiled at the simpleness of this whole situation.

You loved getting to see Harry in his real life. He was so soft and comfortable with the people around him and you were honoured that you got to be one of the people to see him like this. You were his best friend after-all, so he’d want no one else by his side but you. You calmed him and grounded him when he needed it most and he owed a lot of his success to you, that’s why he was letting you listen to the first run-through of the final product. That, and he wanted his inspiration to hear how’d you’d impacted him.

“Y/N?” Mitch held up both bottles of beer and was silently asking you to choose.

“I’ll just stick to my cuppa tea, thanks Itch.” Don’t ask why you called him ‘Itch’, but you just did and it had stuck. He liked that he’d been given a nickname though - one different from anyone else.

Harry came into the room, beaming with happiness. He was wearing cream coloured pants with a blue and white striped shirt, an added bandana around his neck for good measure. He wore bright pink socks on his feet and had his sunglasses tucked into his hair as always. He looked just like your Harry from 18 years ago, but just with a beard, a tan and tattoos. He was still yours, even if he didn’t quite see that.

He walked past Mitch to claim his beer and thanked him along the way. You thought he was going to sit with his buddies, but he came over to sit with his best buddy instead.

“Up.” He demanded of you, making a grabby hand as if that was miraculously going to make you get up. You didn’t question him and just did as you were told, gripping the blanket still around you. Harry tucked himself onto the chair that you’d just been sat on and then pulled at your waist for you to sit back down, on his lap this time.

This, right here in this moment, is the reason why people often mistook you for being a couple. Not that you complained or corrected when they did.

“I’m not squishing you am I?” You asked, tilting your head to the side to catch his pretty face.

“No, not at all love.” He smiled at you, before turning back to the rest of the room - no matter how hard that might’ve been for him. He’d pick looking at you all day, every day, over anything, but he was so oblivious to you feeling exactly the same way that he didn’t want to seem like a creep - you, likewise.

“Ready for this H?” Tyler asked, his long jesus-hair reminding you of what Mitch’s used to be - what Harry’s used to be.

“Wonder what the trumpets on Watermelon Sugar are gonna sound like?” Kid asked, knowing how badly Harry had wanted to add trumpets to the song but had never stayed around long enough to actually hear them be added. He was in for a treat.

“You named a song Watermelon Sugar?” You chuckled at him and Harry frowned at how you were so quick to tease him, before even listening to the song.

He poked your side with his free hand - you knew this was a bad idea sitting in his lap.

“Oi no more spoilers, otherwise this one is never gonna want to make me play it out loud.” He spoke to the wider group, still tickling his fingers into your side like the wanker that he was.

You huffed and grabbed his sunglasses off his head and placing them on your face, covering your eyes over. They had an orange tint to them and it was trippy to see the world a little more burnt. Harry was quick to whip them back off your face, nearly poking out your eye in the process, and putting them bad on his messy head of hair.

“Woah! I looked good in them too, dickhead.” You scoffed at him, bringing your mug of tea up to drink.

“Yeah, but I wanna see your face when you listen to m’songs.” He replied, the tea steaming up your face a bit - or was it him?

“God, that’s a lot of pressure.”

“Only 12 songs.”

“I don’t have enough facial expressions to get me through 12 songs.” You tried to joke, putting him at ease because you could tell that he was becoming very nervous over the fact that he was showing you his most treasured baby.

“Just promise me you’ll tell me if y’hate something.” Harry made it clear that your opinion was his most important from the start of this project, and he needed it now more than ever. You’d only been let in the studio to head clips of some of the melodies and Harry would sometimes ask you for words that rhymed with other words, but you hadn’t fully heard any songs and you certainly hadn’t heard the album in full. It was both exciting and terrifying.

“Could never hate anything you produce, sunshine.” You turned to smile at him, tuning out the conversations that the other lads were having in the room.

“Thank you, Y/N.” Harry spoke sincerely, looking deep into your eyes to convey that he really meant it.

“For what?”

“For just being here. For supporting me. I feel like I don’t thank you enough for everything you do for me and have done for me, so thank you.” You choked up a bit over his words, finding your heart tighten and expand at how precious he was. He always managed to find ways to make your heart take more of him.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” You shook your head at him like he was being silly.

“I do, so will you just humour me and take the gesture?”

“Okay.”

You had to turn away from him, otherwise he would see your tears in your eyes and you didn’t want him to see them. At least not yet. You didn’t want him to think you were so overly emotional just because of some little words he said to you, however much they weren’t just little words to you.

“Ready?” Jeff asked, before he could press play on the phone that held the album on. A phone that had been purchased specifically for the album and had no trace to Harrys phone or anything, for the protection against it being hacked.

There were a few nods of heads and a couple of yes’, but you just focused on Harry’s words; “This is for you.”

You couldn’t get any words in before the introduction to the first started playing. It started off as some sort of piano and cymbal playing that made you almost want to get out of chair an start tapping your foot. You jolted back as the prime of the song started, making Harry chuckle at your reaction. The song made your feel so happy and all you’d heard was melodies.

“Oh I loved making this one!” Mitch exclaimed, shooting back a sip of his drink. Everyone looked really happy over this song and so you couldn’t help but smile too.

“Let me guess, Golden?” You asked.

“Mhm.” Harry nodded, proud of you for guessing right.

The lyrics were so well written and they fit the melody so well. It was such a happy and upbeat song, but you could hear the sadness behind the lyrics. His pitch was perfect and the way he complimented his own voice was beautiful. The bridge sounded like a little fairy dance and it made you dance a bit - it was just so catchy.

“Damn that guitar though Mitch!” Tyler shouted above the noise, praising Mitch’s skill on the guitar. He was a beast.

“Oh man this song is just so good!” Kid exclaimed, tapping his hands away on his leg to the song.

When you felt the song come to an end, the lyrics fading out and the tinkering of the cymbal continuing you felt so elated. That was such a go-happy song and if that was only the start of the album, you couldn’t wait to hear what else was to come. You felt Harry’s gaze on you and you just had to look at him. He was looking at you with nervous anticipation.

“Put me outta my misery already.” He said and bit his lip, waiting to hear what you had to say.

“I think that you’re so golden.” You smiled and he knew, no matter how cornily, that you had loved the song.

“Hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

No, he didn’t.

You looked at him again, knowing what he was thinking and feeling so engaged by his love in that moment. You wanted to learn the meaning behind the song and all the rest you’d get to hear. You were desperate to understand the way he felt whilst writing the songs and listen to the story that went along with the lyrics. He was a very private man, but for you he was so open. It made you think about the lyric in Golden; ‘I know that you’re scared because i’m so open’ and how it fitted perfectly to your relationship with him, which got you thinking more about the lyrics and what the song meant to him.

“Fuck, Harry, that was such a buzz!” Jeff shouted, breaking the moment between you and Harry. You looked away from him, after scrutinising every minute detail on his face, and coughed under your breath ready to listen to the next song.

“Yeah, thanks man.” Harry chuckled, only thinking about the last minute he’d spent looking into your eyes and your beauty and how much you truly meant to him. It was like he needed listening to his new music, which some was written about you, with you to make him understand the importance and significance of you in his life - to him.

He needed you more than a best friend. Want wasn’t a part of it anymore.

“Watermelon Sugar?” Jeff teased.

“Let’s have it!” Tyler replied.

“So excited to hear this trumpets, bro.” Kid spoke quieter now as the song began to play. It was so magical getting to see people so infatuated with music, like it was a passion within their soul. It made you want to learn and understand it all more. You wanted to under Harry’s world that bit more.

Another happy-feels kind of song.

“This is cute.” You told him.

“Cute, yet highly erotic.” He corrected you, making you shoot your head to watch him drink a sip of his beer.

“What?” You laughed.

“Just listen, y’pest.”

And you did. Fuck, he was right. This song was more than the strawberry picnic it sounded like it should be about. It wasn’t talking about the strawberries on the summer evening, it was about what pussy tasted like on a summer evening and how it tasted like strawberries. Watermelons too. It was about the euphoric pleasures of giving head and receiving it too. Harry’s lyrics sounded like he was starved for this kind of pleasure. He’d never wanted to taste something so badly.

It reminded you of the picnic you’d had with him. It had been around the end of june, beginning of July, and you were back in Holmes Chapel to see friends and family. He’d taken a picnic for you both and you’d gone to sit by a stream to eat it. It had been such a beautiful day. Full of laughter, watermelon and strawberries— My god. He was painting a picture of this exact evening through music. You wiggled in your posture, trying to ignore the feeling of your pussy heating up at the thought of Harry having such erotic thoughts over you. Had he really thought about what you tasted like? And wrote it in a fucking song to tell the whole world?

“Is this…” You couldn’t even finish the question. Hell, you didn’t even know what the question really was.

“You’re pretty darn good for inspiration Y/N.” He whispered in your ear, trying to make sure you didn’t run your arse over the stiffie he was now sporting in his trousers.

“Guess I can’t tease the song anymore.” You whispered back, earning a private low chuckle from the boy you were dying to make yours behind you. You were only two songs into listening to his album, yet you felt like the dynamic between the two of you was shifting - had shifted. You felt like he was becoming yours as he opened himself up through the art of his music.

“Keep teasing me though, sunflower. Get my inspiration from you, remember?” And there it was again - the butterflies in your stomach from your best friend. Should you really be thinking these things about your best friend? Then again, he was clearly thinking these things about you.

“Those trumpets, man!” Kid wolf-whistled and stomped his feet on the ground in love of the song.

“Oh shut up about y’bloody trumpets!” Harry laughed, making everyone else laugh.

“Sounded good H.” Mitch added, smiling at his best friend in pride.

“All you Mitchy.” Harry said, knowing Mitch had done a great deal of the melody writing on that particular track.

“Can’t take all the credit.” Mitch winked over in your direction and you thought he’d been winking at Harry, but when Harrys hand came and rested on your thigh - squeezing it slightly - you second guessed that maybe he had been winking at you. You cleared your throat and waited for the next song.

The next two songs were perfect; Adore You and Lights Up. Both were as good as each, which were equally as good as the two before that. Harry hadn’t written a bad song - not that you were expecting him to. It was clear that his musical talent had gotten better and he was a lot more open with this album than his previous. He was a lot more accepting in himself with this album and you didn’t miss the opportunity to tell him how you felt about all of this.

“Proud of you.” You told him, as the album had been paused so Mitch could go grab another crate of beers from his car. They’d been through enough beers for a family reunion of 108 between the 5 of them, leaving you to quietly sip on your tea. The other guys had gotten up to stretch and go for a wee, but Harry had said he was perfect with sitting rest with you.

“Means so much t’hear you say that, sunflower.” He smiled at you, you twisting yourself so you sat perpendicular to him - laying across the width of the chair and his lap. He placed his hands over your legs, cupping your kneecaps for extra warmth.

“Means so much that you trust me to listen to the album.” You cupped your hand over his and he twisted his fingers so your fingers intertwined with his. He loved the feeling of your soft and warm hands coat his, and he never wanted you to let go. Ever.

“You’re one of few people I trust, Y/N, so thanks for being one of them.” He was using every and any opportunity to say thanks to you and he was completely open about it. You appreciated his thanks, but he didn’t have to give it to you.

You squeezed his hand, suppressing a smile when he squeezed back. You didn’t want to look like a love-sick puppy today.

“Enjoying it so far Y/N?” Tyler asked you, the boys falling back into the room and back to the sofas. Mitch had a crate of beers and passed Harry another one, earning a thanks from him in response.

“So much, yeah. You’re all so talented.” You shared the praise, not being oblivious to the fact it didn’t take just Harry to create this album.

“Even me?” Jeff asked, making the guys chuckle.

“Yeah, even you Jeff. You’re the one who has to kick this ones backside half the time!” You laughed, Harry whining in response because he thought he was delightful - well he would!

“Pretty sure that’s your job, sunflower.” Harry added, earning a quick slap to his arm from you.

“Knobhead.” You argued.

“Oi big mouth, shut it.” Harry flicked your arm in return and earning an ouch from you to signal that that’d actually hurt.

“Ow, y’prick.”

“M’sorry.” He rubbed over your arm where he had caused you pain, hating to think that a bit of playful banter had actually ended up in him hurting you - that was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

“Know you are, y’knob.”

“Should write a song about all the lovely and colourful things y’call me.” Harry joked, wanting nothing more than to put a smile on your golden face again.

“Oh yeah? And call it what?” You asked, playing along.

“Probably something really crap like ‘Tainted Tongue’, or… oh I don’t know.” Harry rolled his eyes, but you had to gulp down the words that were on the tip of your tainted tongue. You wanted to tease him, but you just couldn’t because you could tell that he was genuinely considering his words.

Considering your tainted tongue, even.

“Sounds Grammy award-winning.” You told him, squeezing his hand again before returning your attention to the rest of the room. Everyones conversations were coming to a unified end and Jeff asked whether everyone was ready again. It was yes’ all around.

“Okay, here’s Cherry.” Jeff announced, making Harrys grip on your knee tighten for some reason.

The intro started with a woman’s voice cooing and then straight into some ethereal guitar playing. It was so pretty and you closed your eyes to picture yourself on a bike ride through some flower fields. Harry’s words were so mellow and soft, it ran chills through your body. You listened to the lyrics carefully and tried to match it up with his real life, piecing together his story.

As the song progresses you could start to understand what, or more who, it was about. It was the lyrics such as “I just miss your accent.” and “don’t you call him baby.” that gave it away. That and the expressive voicemail that perched on the end of the song so beautifully. It was about Camille, or more for Camille. It was amazing and you were so proud of Harry for being so open. Camille’s and Harry’s relationship had become very toxic, so for Harry to be open about how she still held a place in his heart was something you were very proud of him for. He was being true to himself and was being vulnerable.

“Take risks, Harry. Be vulnerable, that’s what people want.” You had told him before he started writing the album and he’d done just that.

You slowly opened your eyes as the song ended, tears in your eyes for some unbeknownst reason. Harry chuckled at you. “Oh you big softie!” He brought the blanket up to wipe the corners of your eyes. “Y’crying ‘cause you hate it or because it was just that awesome?” He asked.

“I’m crying, y’tool, because you actually listened to me.” Knowing he would know what you meant.

“‘Course I did. Take y’advice above anyone else’s.” He was clear about that, you thought.

“Camille will love it.” You spoke softly, knowing it was important to him that the person he wrote the song about was okay with a song being written about them.

“Thank you.” He replied, bringing your hand up he could leave a simple kiss to the back of it.

“What did you think of the guitar playing H?” Tyler asked, opening another beer with a poof.

“Loved it man. Sounds better toned down a bit.” He answered.

“Happy with the voicemail too?” Tyler asked again, wanting Harry to understand it was no big deal if he wanted it out.

“No. I want to be take risks and be vulnerable.” Harry admitted proudly, and you shuffled your body around to curl into him and rest your head upon his shoulder. You could smell the Tom Ford perfume he loved so much in its’ strength against his neck and you loved it just ad much. It smelt familiar and warm. It smelt like home.

The group of you continued to play the songs, running through Falling, To Be So Lonely and She fairly quickly. Falling had, obviously, brought you to more tears and it had nearly brought Harry to tears too. You knew it was about Camille again and were so proud of him for being so open about his wrong-doings. He’d cheated and painted himself as the bad guy, but people didn’t know that she had too. He was too good to write that part in though. His ‘wandering hands’ portrayed such a powerful image and you got choked up on the power of it all. To Be So Lonely had made you tell him off for calling his mum a bitch, to which he groaned for missing the genuine meaning behind the phrase.

She. Well what a fucking song she was.

You wanted to turn the lights red and slide down a pole and into Harry’s lap. You had to adjust yourself in Harry’s lap, feeling uncomfortable with the way you were becoming a bit too wet down there. The sonf brought out you inner-stripper-ego and you wanted to just put on a tight leather dress and work your way across a guys lap, until you had him writhing underneath you - specifically Harry’s lap.

“Well that was fucking hot.” You chuckled to the group, knowing that Harry would sense the tension between you two and know your words meant more than just the song. It meant how hot it would be to get fucked to that song. How slow and passionate getting fucked so deep would feel so euphoric whilst ‘She’ played in the background. How empowering for a woman it would be to listen to that fire of a song.

“Told you the album was for you.” Harry whispered against your ear and you had to bring your mind to think of old people dying alone, before you jumped Harry right here and right now whilst forcing She to play all over again.

“That was the only song that Harry wouldn’t tell us the meaning behind.” Mitch told you, making you inwardly smug at the thought that you already knew what it was about.

You felt like that song was yours and Harrys dirty little secret and you were about to get high off the thought of that.

“Next we have Sunflower. Vol, 6.” Jeff announced before pressing play.

That made you sit up.

“Did he say Sunflower?” You asked, smiling so brightly at Harry whom was smiling just as brightly back. He loved you at your happiest. He loved that it was him who had put that happiness there.

“I don’t know? Did he?” Harry teased you and you playfully punched his arm, but you looked off to find a nearby wall really interesting as you took in the first bit of the song.

Now this was a vibe.

You felt like you were in some alternate 70s universe, where everything was happy and yellow. The lyrics were so happy and reminded you of yourself. Every time he said the word sunflower, you couldn’t help but let your heart flutter at the thought of him talking about you. You were his sunflower. ‘My sunflower’ he repeated and you wanted to kiss him for it. You couldn’t sit here and listen to this without dancing, so you didn’t.

You stood up quickly, pushing the blanket off of you, and holding out your hands for Harry. “C’mon then.” You spoke urgently, not knowing how much was left of the song and wanting to feel the rhythm of this song with him before it ended.

“Things I bloody do for you, aye?” He laughed, but took your hands anyway to pull himself up. His old knees cracked as he did so and the others laughed at him - calling him ‘cripplez’, and yes with a ‘z’.

You took one of your hands in his, planting the other behind his neck whilst his order went on your waist. Your body was set alight by his touch. You began to dance like you were the only people in the room, getting lost in other’s presence and happiness. You swayed to the beat and Harry twisted you around a few times when it felt right to. He brought you close back to his chest, holding you close as you swayed together, for the end of the song. When the little boops played you were so confused.

“What the fuck is going on?” You laughed as everyone else laughed too. Mitch and Kid followed along with the boops and sang them too, whilst Harry’s head was tilted back in laughter over seeing your reaction to them. “Seriously?”

“He was high on shrooms Y/N, so fuck knows.” Tyler laughed and you shook your head at the silly man in front of you.

“What the fuck Harry?” You laughed, letting him sit back on the chair first before he assisted you in sitting back on top of him.

“So…” He waited for your response, feeling somewhat nervous about this one.

You kissed his cheek, letting your lips linger there for longer than one Mississippi. “My sunshine, I loved it.”

At the tip of Harry’s tongue he wanted to say ‘I love you’ back, but he didn’t want to ruin the happy high you were on. Little did he know that you thought that the moment would be complete if he spoke the three words that held you back from becoming completely his. You loved that song so much and would be playing every day of your life to remind you how lucky you were to have someone so special in your life.

“Think that one was a hit, H.” Jeff laughed, others following with their own chuckles.

“Too right.” You answered for Harry and breathed out a sigh of joy as you relaxed into Harry’s warmth again.

“Ready for the next one?” Harry asked you, not wanting to cut you shirt from the high you were feeling. You hadn’t even focused on the lyrics you were so caught up in dancing with your favourite person.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” And so you did.

First, came Canyon Moon. What a beauty she was. It reminded you of sunsets and ice cream and cacti and long-drives. It was a summer song and it was a forever-love song too. It sounded like a reminder that whatever happened, Harry would always be coming home to where he belonged. God, you only hoped that was you - but you’d be narcissistic to ask that aloud. Secondly, and penultimately to the whole album, came Treat People With Kindness. You thought it was a genius of a song and something the fans would really love. You pitched the idea of maybe even creating a dance routine to it, but Jeff joked how a piece of wood had more hip movement than Harry. Both songs were fabulous and really made the album into something fun and refreshing.

Tyler cleared his throat, making you stop laughing at something Harry had just said and focus your attention on him. When you did you noticed how Mitch and Kid were stood up, looking like they were ready to leave. Jeff was handing Harry the phone and Tyler then stood up to.

“Where… Wait, I thought you said there were 12 songs? We’ve only listened to 11.” You sat up more, wondering why the guys were leaving now.

“There are 12.” Harry stated, making your eyebrows furrow in even more confusion.

“We’ve just listened to this last one more times than we have fingers and toes so…” Kid explained, but not really. Why are they passing the opportunity to listen to this song again? For the final first time too?

“You can stay though, for one more time.” You offered, but kept still in Harry’s lap.

“We’re going to get some food and bring it back instead.” Mitch smiled, smirking when his eyes caught Harry like they were having some telepathic conversation. Were you missing something? You felt like there was a big red flag somewhere within all of this and yet you were too stupid blind to see it.

“Want anything in particular?” Jeff asked, rustling around in his pockets to find his keys.

“I’m fine with whatever.” Harry answered vaguely, bur you were more definitive.

“Um i’ll have a Subway please. Just build it however I don’t really care. I’ll eat anything.”

“H, Subway?” Mitch checked with Harry, incase he was fancying something else.

“Yeah, sounds good to me. I’ll have the same as Y/N.”

You didn’t miss the way Mitch mumbled ‘course y’will’ under his breathe, but they were all out of the door before you could say anything.

“Ready for this last one then, m’sunflower?” Harry asked, returning and devoting his entire attention to you.

“Why do I get the feeling that you sent them away so we could listen to this one alone together?” You knew Harry, for Gods sake. He couldn’t be this smooth with someone who was his best fucking friend. This song obviously meant a lot to him and would maybe mean a lot to you too, so that’s why, you think, he wanted you to be alone for it. You liked that, though. You liked that he’d written something so personal that he wanted to listen to it with solely you. It made you feel purposeful and special - like you were his.

“Just shut up.” He rolled his eyes and smiled, clearly catching him in the act of his plan.

“I’m going to cry, aren’t I?” You rhetorically asked already knowing the answer.

“Maybe, I don’t know. No pressure.”

“Ohh, so you’re going to cry, that’s it isn’t?”

“Y’such a wanker, you know that?” He teased you before bringing the phone to hold in his hand and switching it on.

“You and your Tainted Tongue.” You teased him back and he looked up at you, but did nothing. Just looked at you and held your gaze. You felt powerless under his gaze because for once, you didn’t know what he was thinking. You both loved and hated the feeling.

“The honours are all yours.” Harry passed the phone to you, the giant ‘play’ button waiting to be pressed. You looked at Harry again to see he was looking at you still - oh so this is how it’s going to be, huh? A good old staring match to see who’s emotions would crack through first. Game on, Harry.

“Okay. Let’s play.” Harry didn’t miss the double meaning behind your words.

If there was ever a turning point in your life it was the next 6:18 minutes of you life.

The song started off really quiet and you thought that it might turn into some bashful tune to exit the album with a bang. You did not expect the mellow guitar to start playing. Looking up from the phone you met Harry’s gaze and caught him looking back at you, smiling softly because he knew that you knew this song was going to change things. Change you. Change your heart. Change the relationship between you two, forever. If you’d let it - him.

The lyrics were so delicate and his voice was high pitched. Your eyes started watering when you listened to the lyrics, instantly being able to pinpoint the memory Harry attached to each line. It hurt to think that this was your, plural, song. The meanings behind the lyrics were memories where you and Harry had gotten into rows and fallen out so hard that you thought you might lose each other. Your tears were flowing down your face, Harry’s eyes matching yours with his own tears.

Harry reached his hand up to your cheek, pausing for a second but not stopping until he’d touched skin with skin. You flinched a little but your tears also became heavier.

“Love, don’t.” Harry spoke softly, leaving his hand on your cheek and pulling you forward so you’d come closer towards him.

“I’m so-sorry.” You chuckled, but Harry just shook his head.

“Stop. Nothing to be sorry for.” Harry’s tears ran silently whilst yours were a lot more laboured, your chest hiccuping under the touch of how close he was to you.

“No I do. I hear you Harry. I do.” Referring to all the shit that Harry was referencing in his beautiful ballad.

“Yeah and do you hear that i’m telling you we’ll be alright, hey?” He chuckled, making you sob.

“I… I..” You struggled to get out your words, keeping your face close to his and looking deep into the emotions behind his eyes. There was love and sadness, but there was hope. Hope for you. For you together.

“It’s okay. You’re alright, love. Can tell me anything, I swear.” He made clear, caressing your cheek like it was the easiest job in the universe - yet his trembling thumb made it clear it was hard for him.

You wanted him to know how you feel for him. You wanted him to know that your heart was completely and forever his. He could have it all. You loved him more than anyone else in this fucking universe and he would always be your person. You saw in his eyes that he was waiting for you to tell him all of this. For the longest time all you wanted to yell your strongest feelings for him, but now you were frozen. Paralysed by fear that was becoming so real. He could be yours, but it was so devastating to think that it could all be broken years down the line.

“Stop thinking and just talk to me sunflower.” He softly spoke and you dropped your head to his chest, resting your forehead on his heart.

“I love you!” You shouted and then repeated more quietly, “I love you, Harry. I love you.”

“I know, I know.” Harry kissed the back of your head. “I love you too.”

Your head moved up and you looked at him deep in his eyes. You were both crying and the song was coming to an end now. It felt like such a powerful moment and you never wanted it to end. You felt strong. You felt loved, safe and happy.

“You know i’m going to have to kiss you now?” Harry chuckled, moving his face closer to yours so you could taste his minty breathe on yours.

“At least wait until the song’s over.” You smiled at his eagerness, but not meaning a word of what you just spoke. Harry knew that too.

“Oh fuck the chuffing song, c’mere.”

His lips sealed upon yours and fit together as perfect as Cinderellas foot and her glass slipper. Your stomach felt like it had been set alight by a match and your heart beat faster than you thought possible. You cared for nothing but his lips and the man behind them. Your heart felt so full and your lungs so empty. Harry had stole the air right from you and given life to himself, and you were so okay with it. Harry, less so.

“Y/N baby, y’gotta breathe sunflower.” He mumbled against your lips, but you only whined and pressed yourself more against him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of his hands came to steady you at your waist. God, he couldn’t get enough of you. “Hey, no, no.” You pouted when he pulled away. “Don’t look at me like that.”

You took in a deep breathe, not realising how little air you had in your lungs. You were silently thanking him in your head, but would never actually say it to him out loud. He gave you a look though that told you he knew you knew he was right. Fucker.

“Dickhead.”

“Enough with the pleasantries, you already have me under your spell woman.” He teased you as if your crude language was getting him off.

“Wanker.”

“Yes, keep them coming.”

“Asshole.”

“Baby, oh ye—”

“We brought subs… Okay yeah we’re going to come back later.” Mitch started and walked through the door at the same time you and Harry were doing whatever the fuck you were doing. You buried your head against Harrys chest to hide both your embarrassment and your tears from earlier. You did really want your sub, but Harry you wanted so much more.

“Thank you, bro!” Harry called back.

“Yeah, just keep whatever is happening between you and your girlfriend down. Some of want to eat their salad in peace.” And with the sound of the door shutting you knew you were alone again.

You looked up at Harry to see that he wanted to burst out laughing and as if by rehearsal you both started laughing at the same time. You were in hysterics, not understanding what was even so funny in the first place. All that was understandable was how much you loved this man and craved the thought of officially being his forever.

“Sounded pretty good didn’t it?” Harry asked, coming to a natural pause in his laughing fest causing you to stop too.

“The album? Yeah I told you it—”

“No not the album,” You looked at him in confusion, straightening the sunglasses on the top of his head, “Mitch calling you my girlfriend.” You pursed your lips and kept your eyes down, fiddling with the bandana around his neck now to keep you busy.

“Yeah.” You said shyly.

“Yeah? Did you like it?” Harry asked, pulling up your chin to meet your beautiful eyes - his favourite feature of yours.

“I did yeah.”

“Wanna be my girlfriend?”

“Are you asking nicely or?” You messed with him, but also feeling like you deserved a bit more of a proper ask - you’d not waited all this time for a little half-arsed question, but neither did you want the full shebang.

“Y/N L/N? My sunflower? The absolute biggest pain in my arse and most hugest tit on this planet?” You couldn’t help but belly laugh as he incorporated your longest running joke with each other, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Hmm…” You pretended to think on it and Harry’s eyes turned to worry for a second.

“Please?” He softly asked. “Say something.”

“I say yes to you and that Tainted Tongue.” You kissed him again and you felt his smile against your lips. He was happy. You were happy. You both knew this was the kind of happiness that would last forever.

You gasped against his lips as he picked you up and held you against his waist, carrying you like a koala bear clutching a tree. You felt his hands grasp your ass and they felt so good situated there.

“Let me show you exactly how tainted this tongue is baby.”

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 49 - Ioka Kazuto's New Years Eve tattoo problem.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again this week.

T: What is the celebratory sake for?

K: Well, this is our first recording of the new year..

J: Yes

T: Happy New Year

J: Happy New Year. By the time this is broadcast it will already be well into January though.

K: Yes, so..for good luck.

J: Ah, that would be welcome....but Im not gonna drink it.

K: Why?

J: Um, I've said this a few times before, but my resolution for 2021 is to not go so crazy when drinking alcohol, to not get too carried away.

T: Hahaha

J: I've already decided on it.

K: Don't you always say that?

J: No, no, no. Um, recently...was it on the 27th? After the live broadcast? I left afterwards with Tasai.

T: Oh, yeah.

J: We left together, we got a taxi. Then when I arrived home, it was about 2am, right? When I tried to get in my house, I didn't have my keys.

T, K: Eh?!

T: Really??

J: I didn't have my keys..what could I do? I think i actually left them somewhere before i arrived here, and I hadn't been drinking before that. But in the end, I went to a hotel in my neighborhood...like, please let me stay here, I'll pay so please let me stay. So, I woke up the next day and called the real estate agent to ask if they had a spare key..they didn't. They said they'd given all the keys to me. So, I called around a few other places, and by about lunch time I managed to get hold of a key. But I had to go and do a live radio broadcast in this kind of messed up state, so..

T: Eh?!

J: Well, I mean, it wasn't the fault of alcohol this time, but I have lost my pocket wifi before while I was drunk, and my glasses...and Im constantly telling dirty jokes while drunk...so this year..., well, I will drink alcohol, but Im not gonna go wild.

T: Hahaha

K: Thats impossible!

J, T: Hahaha

Kami: Joe san, Joe san...

J: Oh, Kami? What is it? Kami's here.

Kami: Joe, you've become a boring guy.

J, T: Hahaha

Kami: You're trying to play it safe.

J: No, no, no. Can I really carry on? Drinking and going crazy this year too?

Kami: You need to be free. Please don't hold yourself back.

J: Haha 

T: When we were going home in the taxi, you said, 'I think I've messed up'...

J: I was doing a bit of self-reflecting.

T: Your true voice slipped out.

J: I think it did.

K: What? Why, what happened again?

T: Yeah, what was it again?

J: Well, I think it was me just going a bit wild. It felt like I got carried away.

T: You felt that in yourself?

J: Well, I do, don't I? When I drink alcohol?

K: Well, yeah.

J: Kaoru, we've done a lot of events together, right?

K: Yeah, most of the time I'm like, 'Joe, calm down!'

J: And Im supposed to be the moderator!

T: You change places!

J: Right!

K: Also, he had to read out things written in Katakana and stuff, but he couldn't read the difficult words*1

J: There are a few reasons for that. After I've had a drink, I can't read difficult kanji, and also I have bad eyesight. Katakana has loads of spaces in it, right?

T: Maybe we should have let Tasai do it.

T: Yeah, I should have done the reading.

J: Kanji just turns into clumps.

K: Ok, well, today...Tasai, could you get us started?

T: Yes, this is about the big match on last New Years Eve. Its boxing news. It was the WBO super flyweight title match between Ioka Kazuto and Tanaka Kōsei. Ioka won the match, but this news deals with a slightly different aspect. Ioka's tattoos were visible during the match. The boxing commission have said this is a violation of the rules, and are considering imposing a penalty. Questions have been arising on social media like, 'Isn't this a mistake?', and, 'What about individual freedom?' Did you watch the match, Kaoru?

K: No, I didn't, but I saw it on the news.

T: Yeah. And, Ioka had actually covered his tattoos with foundation to hide them before getting in the ring, but sweating made the foundation come off.

J: I see.

T: So, its become a bit of a talking point, what to think about this.

K: This isn't the first time he's done this, right? He covered his tattoos before in other fights?

T: Yeah, to stop the foundation coming off he...

K: But foundation?...can you really hide them with foundation?

J: Haha, yeah, maybe not. They are too solid. So, he went ino the ring without foundation this time?

T: No, he had it on, but it came off with sweat.

J: Wouldn't that happen anyway?

K: If it did, that means its come off everytime up to now.

J: Right? Its not like its only come off this time. Its hard to understands why the JBC are raising this problem only now?

T: Well, its in the rules. The rules for matches are...in the rulebook, Match management section 4, conditions for boxers article 86, it says for things that make spectators feel uncomfortable, such as tattoos...if a boxer has tattoos, they must not appear in the ring.

J: Oh, thats written?

T: Yes, thats written in the rules. There have been cases in the past of boxers getting tattoos surgically removed in order to be able to compete in the ring.

J: Im not sure about this. Feeling uncomfortable just by seeing a tattoo...?

K: Regular people do though, don't they?

J: Do they?

K: Not people like us here, regular people are different.

J: Haha, of course.

K: But its Japanese people...foreigners have seen tattoos as pretty normal for quite a long time.

J: Right. Their police even have tattoos.

K: But we havn't got there in Japan yet. They are still thought of as scary. Even me, if I see someone with tattoos walk in, I don't say anything to them, but I do notice and look at them if they have tattoos.

J: Well..

K: You look though, right?

J: Well, I would think 'oh, they have tattoos'.

K: Yeh, but you would say ????*2

J: Well...

K: You would!

J: Would I? But...this is boxing, right? The spectators have come to watch people hitting each other.

K: Well, yeah, thats right.

J: For example, if a kabuki actor suddenly revealed tattoos all over their body, I have a feeling it wouldn't go down well with people who are going to see traditional arts, but if they are going to see people punching each other, would they be that bothered about tattoos?

K: Its because the rules havn't changed since a long time ago.

J: Yeah. Hmm, Im not sure about this. What's it like overseas?

T: Its totally fine overseas.

J: Its ok, right?

K: They don't mind if foreigners have them.

J: Ah, foreign boxers with tattoos are allowed to fight in Japan?

T: Yes.

K: So I think this is good. It could change how we do things *3

J: Yeah, it creates a stir, because there are quite a lot of people who know about this old rule. Um, even at events and stuff (I MC at a lot of events), some guests are instructed to wear long sleeeves when they attend. This is what Japan is like with tattoos.

T: But I think I read somwhere that the NBA also has the rule to cover tattoos. Like, they will wear armbands and stuff to cover them.

K: Even in baseball, the Giants have banned facial hair.

J: Have they?

T: The Giants have an unwritten code, let me think who had a beard....do you remember Ogasawara Michihiro/Gatz?

J: Oh yeah, the left handed player?

T: Yeah, when he joined the Giants he shaved it all off etc. That type of thing still happens, even now. Have a look next time the Giants play, none of them have facial hair.

J: I don't think foreign players will like these rules that Japanese have. This seems like its against the Constitution. It really does.

Kami: Its discrimination, right?

J: Yes, I agree.

Kami: Nishinari people are sensitive to discrimination.

J: Yeah, I mean, if they are gonna have this rule, they should ban tattoos for everyone in boxing, but to say its ok for foreign boxers but not Japanese ones.. its a bit...

Kami: Its unconstitutional. Its discrimination.

J: Yeh, I think its discrimination. But looking at some of the comments, some say that although its written in the rules, it can't be helped these days.

Kami: Its not fair though, letting Ioka get this incredible win, and then afterwards saying, actually, no.

T: Yes, thats right.

Kami: When I was younger I won at pachinko..

J: Haha, all of a sudden..

Kami: I had quite a babyface, and would get mistaken for being underage. They never said anything to me when I lost...

T: But when you handed in your tickets they told you no because you're underage?

Kami: Yeah, yeah. Even though they said nothing to me when I was losing. Its like they come to stop you after you start winning.

T: I see.

Kami: They will take all the benefits, but when it starts to get unfavorable...I sense that unfairness.

T: Ah, yeh. Well, its true that the boxing commission already knew that Ioka had tattoos. And they asked him to take part.

J: Yeah. Its not like he got the tattoos right before this match.

T: Thats right. Incidentally, he got this particular tattoo in America in 2018, September, to show resovle and determination for his comeback fight. And this time, he has also added his son's name as if to say 'lets fight together'.

J: Oh, thats a nice meaning....Sue them!

T: Sue them?

J: Yes, Tokyo Sports should sue them.

T: Why just us? haha. We should together.

J: ???*4

K: I wonder how this will turn out though.

J: Yeah. Is Ioka following the boxing commission then?

T: He is still waiting to see what they decide.

J: Ah, ok.

T: He is still waiting for their judgment.

J: So like, it will depend on the level of punishment he gets.

K: They'll just say its the rules.

T: In that case, he might just go to America, if he can't fight any matches in Japan.

J: Well, yeah.

T: I think this would be a bigger problem if it happened outside the ring. But its happened within the ring. Its still a fact that tattoos are seen as scary in this culture.

K: It seems so to me, speaking as a person who has tattoos.

J: Thats what you have felt from experience?　Exactly.

K: But you could say that he knew this when he got the tattoos. He knew they would tell him to stop.

T: Like, boxers definitely understand this.

K: He knows it, but he is still appearing in the ring, so if he has determination and resolve, its great. If he doesn't, its no surprise if he gets complaints.

J, T: I see.

J: Well, considering he did try to hide it, but the covering just came off, I wonder what will happen. Its not like he can wear clothes over it, right?

K: He could have put tape on it.

J: Oh, right, you can hide it like that too?

T: Yeah, there might be something like skin coloured tape.

J: Kami, can we have a last word from you on this?

Kami: Well, whatever the rules, making them only apply to Japanese is strange, right?

J: Well, yes, thats true. We'll have to keep a look out for what happens with this from now on.

K: Well, yeh.

T: To see how it develops, yeh.

K: Yeah. Kami seemed a bit lacking in vitality today, didn't he?

J: Yeah, he seems down. Kami, did something happen to you at new year time?

Kami: No, no, Im fine! Don't I sound it?

K: You sound like you are lacking a bit of punch.

J: With it being boxing, you'd expect him to have more 'punch'.

K: He just seemed a bit...regular.

J: Yeah.

Kami: Regular? haha.

K: He's laughing, haha.

T, J: Haha

J: The staff are making me laugh.

K: Ok, shall we finish here for today?

J: Yes

K: Ok, please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1, 3 Not sure this is right.

*2, 4 Couldn't make out

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[hongism]

Hi! So I'm that one anon that once asked if moc Joong's class had been confirmed but I was a bit shy to talk about my speculations but it was mentioned in one ask so here I am

hi bestie!!! im answering separately since this is gonna be SUPER LONG BUT!!! let’s get into this bc these are so fun for me to answer and respond to 😎

First of all, we know for sure he is not a berserker because no red eyes=no berserker and Joong has been described more than once as having dark eyes. He is not an elitist either because while it hasn't been straight up denied (I think?) it has been implied more than once, like I read somewhere that him and Yeo had quite a bit of clashing because of Yeo's way of thinking as an elitist, but an even more giving point is that the people who participated in the mutiny claimed to want a more capable, ELITIST leader.

so YES and YES, these are the two definitive classes that hongjoong has been proven to NOT be. you hit the nail on the head with the reasons for both too and yeo did mention at one point that he’s the only ‘true elitist’ on the crew, and he said that for a v specific reason bc i was trying to drop more hints about hongjoong’s identity there.

He is probably not an spectre either because I don't think he would have a reason to hide it or not use his abilities (unless there is some trauma or other reason to hide it), and that takes us to the two last classes that he is most likely to be

this is a really good point. there’s not really any evidence against him being a spectre, but just based on logic alone, it’s just like you said. if there are no internal reasons, then why would he be so mum about being a spectre? and we’ve never seen him use any sort of abilities either, so it’s hard to reconcile that he might be a spectre

First of all, normie. On one side it would make sense why he was looked down by the rest of the crew during the mutiny. It could also be a bit of a plot twist that one of the most feared pirate captains is actually a normie, bUt then we have San's ring, he said that it amplifies class abilities, but normies don't have any,,,,I'll come back for that after discussing about him being a siren. It would explain a lot of things, why he hides it, how he took over the ship even if he was a slave (thanks siren abilities) AND we know that he wants to find the treasure for something more than just find it, what if he wants to find more sirens to help them or to be with more of his kind? On the downside...why hasn't he gone to the dreamscape? Apparently sometimes sirens don't really control whether they go or not, they just wake up there. Like with yn I kind of get it, he almost never sleeps and she hasn't been on the ship for more than a few months at most, but Woo? I don't think they haven't been alseep at the same time on the time they have lived together. I don't mention Hwa because I'm pretty sure he would know if our lil captain was a siren. Then again, he seems to have investigated quite a bit about sirens, has he found a way to block the dreamscape?

now onto the last two options which are probably the most viable right now! normie and siren... i think there are pros and cons to each side, and there are lots of ways you could look at the Bigger Picture of it all, and there are bits and pieces that could imply it going either way. and while i’m not saying this to confirm or deny anything, we do have information from daichi all the way back in the first act about ‘someone dangerous being nearby’, and up until this point, we still don’t know who that is or what that is. could it be hongjoong? if it were, why would it be him? could it be seonghwa or wooyoung? why would it be them? then we have the dreamscape. we’ve never seen him there. we know wooyoung and y/n can reach each other from VERY far away, but keep in mind that y/n could only reach seonghwa when she was right next to him in bed. the only person she’s seen who she wasn’t in ultra close proximity with was wooyoung, and those were special circumstances. as for woo: if he knew what hongjoong was (in this theory, a siren) - would he say anything? is he lying when he says seonghwa is the only one he’s known? or is hongjoong secluded enough on the ship to a point where he knows no one in the dreamscape can reach him? and if anyone is going to know, it would be seonghwa, and we haven’t heard anything from him yet. another interesting anecdote is that hongjoong already has tattoos, we’ve seen his chest tattoos before but we’ve not seen his back which would be the most telling part. and lastly... according to seonghwa, hongjoong is the most knowledgeable person on sirens aside from the scholar that hongjoong knows, so who’s to say hongjoong doesn’t know some other things or has his own set of abilities IF he’s a siren?

Now going back to the ring...we know it amplifies class abilities with the wearer's energy and can conduct it through physical contact, but how exactly does it work? Does it store an user's energy or it just works with accessible energy? Can it work between different classes or only in the same class when it comes to contact? Those could be very important points because if it stores an user's energy + works between different classes, yn would have used San's energy with the door even if Joong was a normie. If it only conducts the energy between the same class then Joong would be a siren too. Then again, if he was a normie, why would San give it to him in the arena? Regardless of if it stores the wearer's energy or if it does not, he would find no use to it without abilities of his own. This also makes me think that San knows what he is or at least that he is not a normie, unless he had just given it to him blindly and Hongjoong being like "😀 well I'm a normie so I can't use it but thanks anyway"

as for the ring, i know i didn’t get into it super deep, and i wanted to delve deeper but the timing was a little narrow because of the time sensitive nature of their mission, so i couldn’t spend a TON of time on it but! i wrote this little ‘entry’ in my notes about conductors:

conductors: small trinkets (ranging from necklaces to hairpins to rings) that allow the wearer to conduct the natural energy stored in the body into a shared storage. these trinkets can be used to do one of two things: be an ‘amplifier’ and allow the wearer to amplify their own natural powers while draining from the self’s energy storage, or, option two, to act as a ‘conductor’ for an outside source.

in the event of the second option, the wearer’s body operates as the ‘shared storage’. the trinket pushes the energy out into an outside source, typically through physical contact, and that energy in turn flows into the secondary source. this method is doubly as draining as the first because the wearer is pushing their natural energy into a secondary source that demands much more than just using it as an amplifier. however, this allows for a special phenomenon where even Normies can be used as sources of energy to conduct between two sources. the natural energy storage levels of a Normie are significantly lower than all other classes, making this method both inhumane in military practice as well as dangerous even in practical settings.

SO! all that to give a rather simple answer of, hongjoong having the conductor one way or the other can’t really be the most telling in terms of his class. it could go either way, and it could mean that he’s a siren or that he’s a normie, or even that san had other implications in giving the ring over to hongjoong at the time!

Aaaa this was long but I have been thinking about that for a while so let's see how close I am from the truth 😭😭

i can’t give you a straight yes or no on whether you’re 100% spot on or not, but i can say that you’re certainly thinking about the right things and you’ve got your EVIDENCE! 🤓

[jt-artsandfics]

Mantis blades and Gorrila fist pt 5

~~~~~~

Woah chapter five I'm quite happy with myself

I hope you all enjoy and I can't wait to make more

~~~~~~~

V woke up a little after 9am still wrapped up in the sheets of his bed while laying onto of Oda. The Arasaka guard was running his fingers thought Vexrins messy and tangled blue and red hair humming lightly.

Vex moves a little to meet the Pale grey eyes "Good morning" Oda lent down and places a soft kiss on Vs lips, a soft dreamy look on his face as he lays back down.

They layed in silence for a good five minutes before Oda groaned about having to get up and get ready for work.

"Vexrin your gonna have to move I need to get ready for work" V grumbs before rolling over onto the bed and pulled the sheets up aroudn his chin as he watches Oda move around the apartment picking up his uniform along with he boots.

This time he doesn't retreat to the safety of the bathroom to get changed. Vex watches him strip and gets a good look at the cybernetics on his throat.

They run out lightly onto his shoulders and down his back a little. And that's when he sees the beautiful work of art on Oda's back.

Its a white tiger with bright blue eyes surrounded by tiger lillies "I dont know you had a tattoo!" Oda looks over his shoulder to where V was laying.

"I got it very shortly after I began working for Hanako-sama. Takemura-san also have a tattoo down his back. It is something that means alot too me. Both Takemura and I got them right after I was assigned to Hanako. His is a fox and Wolf with cherry blossoms and Iris. He said flowers have meaning to them and the ones you pick define you for who you are. What of you Vexrin do you have flowers that have meaning to you?" Oda begins pulling his uniform pants up and buckling them.

As V gets up off the bed he part of his pants down to show a small ring of flowers on the side of his him. "Violets and For get me not?" Oda asked looking at the tattoo of the small blue and purple, red and yellow flowers.

"Forget me nots had a big meaning to me when I was younger while violets I loved becuase my little brother and used to have a small garden filled with both of them, some times we would make tea with the Violets" V explains as he moves behind Oda to run his hands over the Tiger on his back.

"It's beautiful craftsman ship, I used to want to follow my dad's footsteps and me a tattoo artist but then it became easier for people to get tattoos" Vexrin smiled lightly tracing the lines down Oda's back. Oda turns around to face V. "Your father was a tattoo artist?" Vex let's out a small chuckle as he inspected the detail in Oda's Ink. "Yea he was, he was really good at it two, Indian I got to learn more about it"

Both pale grey and black and white meet again. "I've seen you have another tattoo on your chest it's a snake of a sort?" Oda asked as he pulls his shirt on and begins to button it up.

Vexrin pulls his shirt off to show the tattoo of a colourful snake that wraps around part of his body with a small heart tattooed on his chest.

"Ngalyod or the Rainbow serpent, Im orignally from Austraila. my nanna would tell stories about my ancestry that she was told when she was young. We used to have her tell them to us as bed time stories. But the rainbow serpent was one which I always loved to hear about, learning about part of my culture that we didn't really learn about when my mother and father past. But both poppy and nanna told up a all the stories"

Vexrin smiles lightly remembering all the good times from his childhood from running aroudn on the small farm he lives on got he dream time stories that his family would tell so that they would not forget who and were he came from.

Oda had finished pulling his uniform on and enjoyed the recountings of V's family and story. "Your family where are they now?" He asked.

Taking a seat to do his shoes. "My little brother Dustin moved to Night city with me when I was given the chance of a corpate job, he is going to school at one of the higher education schools. While my nanna passed away 5 years ago my poppyis still living out on his small farm in Queensland I send him money when I can so he can keep the farm going.

He didn't want me to work for the big cooperations, said he feel it in his bones that something would go wrong. I guess he was right" Oda can feel The sad smile of V's face he pulls him in for a hug placing his chin on Vex's head.

"I apologise for asking, I did not wish to bring bad memories" V let's out a small laugh before moving slightly. "Can I kiss you?" He asks very lightly and if Oda didn't have his enhancements he most likely wouldn't have heard him.

Oda leans down and places a quick kiss on V's lips. He pulls away picking up a bag with the rest of his gear in it. "I have to head to work now but am aloud to come back later tonight?" He asked hoping that this wasn't a one time thing.

V pulls him back into a kiss this one was sweet and quick and V let out a soft laugh again. "You are welcome over anytime" he gives Oda a quickpeek on the forehead before pushing him to the door.

" Now go to work or you are gonna be late!"

V watches as Oda leave his apartment before finally heading back inside, he moves around getting ready for the day when he get a call for Misty.

"Hey V I was just checking in on you again I know it's been a few weeks, I did a reading for you, I did a past, present and future spread and well you got the Tower reversed, death upright and the Lovers upright. So its very different" v stood there for a while trying to recall the meanign for the card.

" I remember death upright is something to do with change and transformation but I do remember the other too, I swear the death cards my friend at this point " misty has a light laugh before she continues.

" tower reversed can mean  Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster. All decks are different so they could have different meanings. Death upright is Endings, change, transformation, transition and as you have said your familiar with this card and the Lovers upright is love, harmony, relationships, alignment, choices so it's very different from. What you normally have. So my question is there someone you are seeing?" Misty asked making Vex blush.

"Maybe.. well I don't know what it is but like yes. No? I don't have a clue.. ok he's coming over tonight" misty is laughing on the other end of the call.

"Well how about you come stop by the shop which I close up for the day and we go out for the day!" V smiled at the suggestion. " that be awesome Misty I'll meet you at the shop" with that there call ended and Vex got read to leave as he does he decided to shoot Goro a message.

Vex: hey, hey Goro, was wondering if you could forward me Sandayu's contact, Please and thank you!

Takemura: I must ask Why Vex, had Oda been a bother again?

Vex: hahaha no but we have started talking and I i forgot to ask him for his holo, he's been sparing with me a little But we aren't at each other's throats anymore.

Goro: that is good to hear :), I will forward his contact to you shortly,

Once Oda had left Vexrins he had arrived at work with 30 minutes to spare. As he walked into the Estate he gave a quick bow to the other guard as he made his way tough being checked.

He gets a notification the only people who would be messaging him would be Hanako, Goro and his parents. So when an unknown number pops up he is hesitant but decided by her to get it out to the way.

.....: Hey Oda it's me Vex, just letting you know that spare keys are in the broken light on the door"

He lets out a small chuckle before sending but a message

Sandayu: thank you Vexrin.

He quickly sets V's contact up.

Name: Vex-kun

Number: ////////////

He has a bit of a laugh to himself about it but in the end leave it.

After that most of the day had been staying within the room which Hanako was or following her where ever she needed to be.

As the day slowly turned to night they had arrived back at Hanako's estate, Oda was watching the time almost like a hawk at this point and it didn't go un noticed.

He still has alteast half an hour until his shift ends, he had never feel that time going so slow until now.

"Oda?" He turns to Hanako again she had a light smile on her face as she calls him to take a seat. He walks over and sits down.

"Will you be staying and watch old movies tonight, you seem like you want to be anywhere but here" he lets out a sigh. "Forgive me Hanako-sama, that is not my intention, just excited and nerves" that peaks Hanako's interest. He can seem the small smile as she bring her glass to her lips. 

"And what could have you so distracted, should I say who?" They share a small laugh and it goes quite again. "A man, I... I trust you Hanako-sama and.. fuck it's V" he closes his eyes and a blush can be seen across his cheeks. Hanako let's out a laugh before placing her hands on his shoulders.

"If he makes you happy then I have no problem with it, if he hurts you not even Takemura will save him" the next half an hour was Hanako asking question and Oda answering them.

When his shift was over Hanako waved he out with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list @simping-for-sandayu-oda @gvitch @v-is-for-witch @hippiefricked @inkrabbit @shitposting-for-the-soul

~~~~~~~~

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[therainroguefanfiction]

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 011 [A Hero’s Style]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 2,490 ☁

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

〈“It’s the very first breath, When your head’s been drowning underwater, And it’s the lightness in the air when you’re there.” Logic ft. Alessia Cara, “1-800-273-8255″〉

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

The door to the nurse’s office slid open and the boy with the messy green hair stepped inside. He was cradling his right hand, the index finger swollen and badly bruised. I sat up on the bed, rising a brow at him. “The fuck happened to you?”

His gaze shot up, a blush covering his freckled cheeks and nose. “A-Ah, it was n-nothing, really!”

My eyes narrowed at him. “Pretty sure a broken finger ain’t ‘nothing’, but okay.”

“W-What about you?” he asked, softly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He refused to meet my gaze. “A-Are you okay, Winchester-san?”

The door slid open again and Granny stepped inside. “Can I help you, deary? What happened?”

He handed her a slip of paper, his green eyes trained on the ground. “I, umm… I got hurt…”

“Well, I can see that.” She brought his hand to her lips and gave it a smooch before having him sit down to wrap it up. He thanked her before swaying out of the room, tiredly. She glanced over at me. “Feeling better?”

“Define ‘better’,” I scoffed, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. “I could go for some tacos, if that’s what you mean.”

“That’s the best I could hope for,” she smiled, patting my arm. “You’re free to go.”

I gave her a lazy salute before leaving the room. I stopped off to change back into my uniform before heading back to class. A couple students still lingered inside, turning to look at me when I slid the door open. Didn’t anyone ever teach these brats it’s rude to stare? I scowled, grabbing my bag from my desk before leaving the room.

“Young Jen!” A woosh of air rushed past me before Toshi appeared in front of me, his large hands on my shoulders. “I was looking for you!”

“Well, you found me. And you know where I live, so.”

“Come with me, please!”

It was a bit hard to avoid drawing attention to myself when I was being dragged along by the most attention-grabbing hero in the fucking world. He led me to a small room with a couch and coffee table, where three cups of steaming tea sat. Aizawa was sitting in an armchair with his eyes closed and arms crossed.

“Please have a seat,” Toshi held out his arm toward the couch and I plopped down on the end closest to Aizawa. He sat beside me, angling his large body, which slowly fizzled out to his skeletal form. He coughed a few times before speaking. “Will you tell me what happened today?”

“With the green-haired kid? Yeah, I was wondering about that, too. A broken finger is pretty crazy, huh?”

“Jen,” Aizawa shifted, giving me a pointed look.

I shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t fucking know. One minute I was fine, the next I’m being subdued by Magic Eraser over here.”

Toshi put his hand on my knee, giving me a kind look. “You know you don’t have to keep secrets from us. You can be honest, you can trust us, we won’t judge you. We just want to help you.”

I clicked my tongue, lifting my leg to rest my ankle on my knee to remove his hand. “That’s pretty unfair, Toshi, when you have so many secrets of your own. Trust you? That’s rich considering you won’t even trust me.”

“What are you talking about, Young J -”

“You know a shit ton more about my dear old mum than you’re willing to tell, aye?” I forced a smile, standing up and shoving my hands in my pockets. “Probably about me, too. And this damned quirk. But that’s fine. I really don’t remember anything that happened so can I go now?”

The two of them exchanged a look.

“This isn’t over,” Aizawa responded, but his voice was softer than it had been earlier.

“Sure, sure.” I waved at them over my shoulder before closing the door behind me.

As I walked home, my phone started to buzz in my pocket as a new message came through. Another a few minutes later. And another. My eye twitched, already annoyed. I swear to god if Murder is spamming me again… but I knew it could only be him. I only have three contacts in my phone – Aizawa never texts me and I knew Toshi would be giving me some space for a while before trying to talk things out.

At that moment, I was overcome by a loneliness fiercer than I had ever felt before.

‘Oi, extra’

‘Dont ignore me’

‘I want a rematch’

The hell is this kid on about now? I replied, ‘U won last time bro…’

‘Its not a win unless i destroy u completely!’

I rubbed the back of my neck, ‘Im really not in the mood for this’

‘Che what crawled up ur ass and died?’

I hesitated, stopping to look up at the sky. The blue was replaced by hues of orange and red as the sun sunk low on the horizon. We’ve only talked a few times, but I felt… a bond with Murder and, right now, he’s the closest thing to a friend that I’ve got. ‘Hey… I wanna tell u somethin’

‘Oh god i dont want ur nudes’

This fuckin’ brat… ‘I said tell not show dumbass’

‘The fuckd u just call me bitch?!’

I slid my key into the lock, stepping into the silent apartment. I kicked my shoes off, pushing them against the wall so Toshi wouldn’t trip when he finally returned home. Falling onto the couch, another message came through.

‘Well r u gonna tell me or nah’

I smiled, sadly and began to tell him my story. I told him about how I got here and about the shadow man with his weird-ass warp quirk, about Gramps and how my mother was apparently a hero. I left out names and key details, of course, but I told him mostly everything that had happened over the past year. He would chime in with some smart ass remark every now and then, but I ignored them and continued to pour my heart out to this guy I had only just met a few days ago.

It felt so goddamn nice to get everything off my chest. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

That night, I slept better than I had since I arrived here.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

“I am… HERE!” The door to class 1-A slammed open and Toshi leaned into the room, standing on his tiptoes and holding the outside of the doorframe. “Coming through the door like a hero!”

If that’s how heroes make an entrance, count me out. It seemed to impress the other students, though, as a murmur of excitement filled the room. God, these kids are too easily amused.

“I can’t believe it’s really All Might!”

“So he is a teacher! This year is going to be totally awesome!”

“Hey look, is he wearing his silver age costume?”

“I��m getting goosebumps, it’s so retro!”

I fell onto my desk with a sigh. It’s like a bunch of little kids meeting Santa at the mall. I guess I could kind of understand it if he had powers but they didn’t, but they do. They’re no different from him, they’re just younger. I was thankful to be sitting behind Big Boobs – between her tall frame and gravity-defying hair, I was completely hidden from Toshi’s line of sight. We hadn’t talked since yesterday. I was asleep by the time he came home, and he was gone before I woke up.

“Welcome to the most important class at U.A. High – think of it was heroing 101!”

I don’t think ‘heroing’ is a word. Or is it? Scratching my cheek, I pulled out my phone, hiding it under my desk as I typed the word into the Goggle. Oh my god, the first result that comes up says the word ‘heroing’ means the opposite of being a hero! There’s also a mention of something about heroines. I scoff, earning a glare from the Peppermint that sits beside Big Boobs.

“Here, you will learn the basics of being a pro! And what it means to fight in the name of good. Let’s get into it! Today’s lesson, we’ll pull no punches!” He held out a card that said ‘battle’ in large, bold letters.

“Fight training!”

“But one of the keys of being a hero is~” Toshi pointed to the left wall as thin shelves emerged from it, holding numbered cases. “Looking good! There were designed for you based on your quirk registration forms and the request you sent in before school started. Get yourself suited up and then meet me at training ground beta!”

“Yes, sir!”

I waited until he left the room before standing up and grabbing case number twenty-one, following the throng of students as they rushed to the locker rooms to get changed. I went to the back of the room, hoping to avoid the other girls before sliding my shirt off.

“Woah, you have a tattoo? That’s so cool!”

I glanced over at the Punk Girl, earphone jacks hanging from her ear lobes. I grunted in response, turning my back to her. She muttered something about being rude before walking away from me. I glanced over my ‘costume’ before grunting in approval. Honestly, I had expected them to fuck it up, especially since Midnight didn’t approve of it, but I was surprised that they had kept it just as specified.

Black, steel-toe combat boots accompanying black baggy cargo pants with plenty of pockets for knives. A black belt with a silver skull buckle. A white wife beater, over which was a white overshirt, the sleeves stopping just past my elbows. I glanced in the mirror, putting my pendant under the tanktop before tucking the front of it behind the belt buckle. Damn, I really like this look.

I stepped out of the locker room ahead of most of the girls, seeing a few guys leaning against the wall outside, waiting. Fumi was among them, dressed in a black cloak that completely covered his body. He glanced at me when I approached, red eyes scanning my body.

“You look nice, Winchester-san.” He said, politely.

I chuckled. “You can use my first name, it’s easier. And you don’t look so bad yourself, Fumi.”

“Fumi?” he mused, following in step beside me as we headed down the hall.

“Don’t like it?” I asked, glancing at him.

“I don’t particularly mind,”

I hummed.

As the group reached the end of the long hallway, I could hear Toshi’s booming voice before I saw him.

“They say that clothes make the pros, young ladies and gentlemen. And behold – you are the proof! Take this to heart, from now on, you are all heroes in training!” His shadowed eyes scanned the crowd. “This is getting me all revved up! You look so cool! Now, shall we get started, you bunch of newbies?”

My eye twitched. Who the fuck is he callin’ a ‘newbie’? Didn’t that insult die like five years ago? We’ve talked about this, man, don’t try to be hip, you’re just gonna embarrass yourself, bro. I sighed, shaking my head. This is gonna be a long-ass day.

Footsteps came from the tunnel and I glanced over my shoulder. Is that… a green bunny? No, no, no, there’s something familiar about that costume, but what is it? Ugh, this is gonna bug me.

“Now that you’re ready, it’s time for combat training!”

“Sir!” Prep was encased in a suit of armor. “This is the fake city from our entrance exam. Does that mean we will be conducting urban battles again?”

“Not quite!” Toshi held up two fingers and at first, I thought he was flashing us the peace sign. “I’m going to move you two steps ahead! Most of the villain fights you see on the news take place outside. However, statistically speaking, run-ins with the most dastardly evil-doers take place indoors. Think about it! Backroom deals. Home invasions. Secret underground lairs. Truly intelligent criminals stay hidden in the shadows. For this training exercise, you’ll be split into teams of good guys and bad guys, and fight two on two indoor battles!”

Good guys and bad guys? That’s such a gray area, ain’t it? I leaned my arm on Fumi’s shoulder, scratching my cheek. Is anyone truly ‘good’ or ‘bad’, really?

“Isn’t this a little advanced?” Frog-girl asked.

“The best training is what you get on the battlefield! But, remember, you can’t just punch a robot this time. You’re dealing with actual people now.”

Actual people, huh? Should I avoid using my quirk? If I lose control again, there’s no Aizawa around to stop me. Someone could get seriously hurt or… I shook my head. Come on, don’t think that way. Just take a deep breath, you got this.

“Sir, will you be the one deciding who wins?” Probably.

“How much can we hurt the other team?” How villainous.

“Do we need to worry about the losers getting expelled liked earlier?” No, ’cause Toshi ain’t Aizawa.

“Will you be splitting us up based on chance or comparative skill?” Should be obvious it’s gonna be random.

“Isn’t this cape pre chic?” What the fuck is wrong with you, French Fry?

I sweatdropped. These guys are really fucking nuts, aren’t they?

Toshi held his head back, his voice strangled. “I wasn’t finished talking…” He reached into his costume, which I didn’t know had pockets, and pulled out a small notebook about the size of his palm, flipping it open as he held each side with one hand. “Listen up!”

Oh my fucking god, he wrote a script for this? “This class is a hot fucking mess…”

“The situation is this: The villains have hidden a nuclear missile somewhere in their hideout. The heroes must try to foil their plans. To do that, the good guys either have to catch the evildoers or recover the weapon. Likewise, the bad guys succeed if they protect their payload or capture the heroes. Time is limited and we’ll choose teams by drawing lots!” He held up a bright, yellow box.

“Isn’t there a better way?” Prep asked.

“Think about it,” Green Bunny responded from beside him, holding up a gloved finger. “Pros often have to team up with heroes from other agencies on the spot. So maybe that’s the reason we’re seeing that here!”

“Yes, I see. Life is a random series of events… Excuse my rudeness!”

I should really learn these guy’s names, but how can I do that without actually having to interact with them? I wonder if Aizawa or Tosh would let me see the student files… that seems pretty doubtful. Plus, Tosh hasn’t looked at me once so he’s probably still upset with me.

“No sweat! Let’s draw!”

Yup, this is definitely going to be a long-ass fucking day.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

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[sorenfm]

           choi  san  .  cis  male  .  he / him  or  they / them  .  /  soren  shin  just  pulled  up  blasting  late  night  by  goldlink  ft.  masego  .  --  that  song  is  so  them  !  you  know  ,  for  a  twenty  four  year  old  socialite  and  illustrator  ,  i’ve  heard  they’re  really  -vexatious  ,  but  that  they  make  up  for  it  by  being  so  +  alluring  .  if  i  had  to  choose  three  things  to  describe  them  ,  i’d  probably  say  graphite  stained  hands  gripping  the  neck  of  a  bottle  of  remy  martin  louis  xiii  ,  gucci  sneakers  tapping  rhythmically  on  museum  floors  ,  and  unread  texts  and  unanswered  phone  calls  clogging  his  lockscreen  .  here’s  to  hopping  they  don’t  cause  too  much  trouble  !

           hmm  ,  yes  .  this  two  gif  thing  with  block  quotes  is  just  as  extra  as  i  was  hoping  it  would  be  🥰  .  that  being  said  ,  hi  babies  !  my  name’s  koa  (  pronounced  like  co - uh  )  ,  and  i’m  really  excited  to  be  here  !  my  pronouns  are  preferably  non - binary  ,  but  please  feel  free  to  use  she / her  as  well  .  i’m  not  going  to  get  upset  if  you  do  ,  promise  🥺  .  i’ve  been  dying  to  play  san  for  quite  some  time  ,  so  with  that  comes  the  birth  of  my  absolutely  vile  son  known  as  soren  !  he’s  like  ...  fresh  from  the  box  brand  new  so  i’m  working  out  kinks  and  stuff  ,  but  everything  mentioned  in  this  intro  is  pretty  much  set  in  stone  !  i  won’t  ramble  on  for  too  long  ,  but  i  can  share  my  discord  if  that’s  the  easiest  or  most  convenient  for  you  ,  but  i’m  also  down  to  plot  in  the  im’s  !

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  .

BIRTH  NAME  :  shin  jin - hyeok  .

PREFERRED  NAME  :  soren  shin  .

NICKNAME(S)  :  jinnie  (  by  his  mom  ,  only  )  .

BIRTHDATE  /  AGE  :  december  25th  ,  1996  /  23  .

ZODIAC  :  capricorn  .

HOMETOWN  :  atlanta  ,  georgia  .

GENDER  :  cis  male  .

NATIONALITY  :  korean  american  .

ETHNICITY  :  korean  .

HEIGHT  :  5′10″  .

LABEL(S)  :  the  artisan  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  gregarious  ,  the  icarian ,  and  the  thespian  . 

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  :  biromantic  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  :  bisexual  .

OCCUPATION  :  socialite  and  freelance  illustrator  .

LANGUAGES  SPOKEN  :  korean  ,  english  ,  and  conversational  spanish  .

POSITIVES  :  alluring  ,  veritable  ,  altruistic  ,  unconstrained  ,  and  urbane  .

NEGATIVES  :  domineering  ,  sardonic  ,  quick - tempered  ,  shallow  and  vexatious  .

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝  .

it’s  nearly  impossible  to  think  about  the  atlanta  social  scene  without  the  shin  family  coming  to  mind  .  both  of  jin - hyeok’s  parents  did  not  come  from  money  ,  but  they  both  lived  comfortably  .  both  were  children  of  immigrants  from  south  korea  ,  and  that  is  what  caused  them  to  work  as  hard  as  they  did  .  woo - yong  and  eun - mi  met  one  another  when  they  were  both  accepted  into  the  same  culinary  school  ,  but  eun - mi  originally  had  no  interest  in  woo - yong  .  he  was  known  around  their  school  as  something  of  a  player  ,  and  for  the  longest  ,  she  always  shot  down  his  advances  .

eventually  ,  eun - mi  decided  to  go  on  one  date  with  him  ,  and  it  was  history  from  there  .  they  were  married  within  two  years  ,  and  they  eloped  at  the  city  of  atlanta  courthouse  and  their  honeymoon  consisted  of  getting  matching  tattoos  on  their  ring  fingers  because  they  couldn’t  afford  rings  at  that  time  .  the  couple  worked  hard  through  the  years  ,  and  they  eventually  opened  the  first  location  of  their  korean - american  fusion  brunch  restaurant  .  the  restaurant  opened  to  strong  success  ,  and  they  brought  in  over  a  million  in  profits  in  their  first  year  ,  which  turned  their  lives  for  the  better  .

the  day  they  went  to  finally  purchase  their  wedding  rings  was  the  day  eun - mi  told  woo - yong  that  they  were  having  a  lil  squish  .  said  lil  squish  came  seven  months  and  two  weeks  later  in  their  master  bathroom  tub  (  because  jin - hyeok  refused  to  be  in  there  to  full  term  )  and  it  was  the  happiest  day  of  their  lives  .  throughout  jin - hyeok’s  childhood  ,  the  couple  continued  to  pursue  their  restaurant  dreams  ,  and  opened  four  more  locations  in  buckhead  ,  sandy  springs  ,  morningside  ,  and  brookhaven  by  the  time  he  was  ten  .  

while  growing  up  ,  jin - hyeok  always  took  a  liking  to  his  creative  side  ,  and  it  was  mostly  due  to  his  parents  being  creatives  themselves  .  when  he  wasn’t  in  the  kitchen  with  them  ,  he  was  reading  webtoons  and  mangas  ,  which  sparked  his  own  interest  in  drawing  .  he  was  100%  self  taught  ,  and  used  to  spend  hours  watching  videos  on  how  to  do  do  certain  things  .  by  the  time  he  started  posting  his  art  on  the  new  platform  that  was  instagram  ,  jin - hyeok  had  begun  going  by  the  name  of  soren  shin  since  he  kept  his  art  mostly  to  himself  at  the  time  .  to  get  an  idea  of  what  his  art  looks  like  ,  check  out  my  favorite  artist  laia  lopez  on  instagram  !

he  went  to  the  coveted  scad  (  savannah  college  of  art  and  design  )  where  he  studied  fine  arts  .  he  graduated  in  the  spring  of  2018  , and  he  continued  posting  his  art  on  instagram  before  he  was  approached  by  a  publishing  company  to  create  a  book  of  his  own  art  !  he’s  released  a  few  of  them  leading  into  this  year  ,  and  has  drawn  the  illustrations  for  a  few  graphic  novels  throughout  the  years  .  moved  to  los  angeles  for  the  big  dreamz  but  in  reality  he  doesn’t  do  a  damn  thing  but  post  on  his  personal  account  and  go  to  fashion  shows  .  he  still  does  art  and  everything  ,  but  his  life  as  a  socialite  is  more  prominent  for  him  at  the  time  .

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬  .

baby  is  an  artist  !  despite  him  having  no  interest  to  hold  down  a  day  job ,  he  mainly  focuses on  his  art  throughout  the  day  .  he  definitely  doesn’t  like  to  be  interrupted  when  he’s  drawing  so  if  he  answers  the  door  with  an  attitude  ,  then  you  know  why  .

he  does  not  answer  the  phone  and  don’t  expect  him  to  !  he  will  intentionally  leave  you  on  read  and  watch  his  phone  ring  until  it  stops  .  really  ,  he  doesn’t  know  why  he  needs  a  phone  outside  of  social  media  ,  but  if  you  want  to  get  in  touch  ...  dm  him  .  he  might  answer  .

his  favorite  food  is  sushi  so  for  the  love  of  everything  that  is  holy  don’t  let  him  pick  where  to  eat  because  he’ll  say  sugarfish  or  nobu  every  single  time  .

he  wears  all  black  ,  but  like  ....  expensive  all  black  .  he  will  wear  his  berets  and  his  garrett  leight  glasses  and  his  cartier  bracelets  and  his  fancy  clothes  literally  every  day  .  don’t  ask  him  about  casual  clothes  .  they  don’t  exist  .  his  casual  is  a  silk  pajama  set  .

drives  a  white  audi  q7  and  lives  in  the  hollywood  hills  .

don’t  ask  him  to  go  on  a  date  because  he’ll  just  wanna  go  to  art  exhibits  ,  art  festivals  ,  and  museums  .  ya’ll  will  go  to  dinner  and  he’ll  talk  your  ear  off  about  it  ,  but  he’ll get  all  shy  and  rosy  cheeked  when  someone  asks  about  his  own  art  since  he  doesn’t  really  share  it  that  often  .

owns  every  piece  and  collection  of  the  fenty  beauty  line  .  curly  bangs  in  his  eyes  25 / 8  .

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲  .

i’ve  pretty  much  said  everything  in  the  headcanons  ,  but  he’s  really  a  charmer  at  heart  but  he’ll  also  make  you  panic  .  since  he  doesn’t  answer  the  phone  people  tend  to  think  that  he’s  fallen  of  the  face  of  the  earth  or  god  forbid  he’s  gone  missing  ,  but  chances  are  he’s  in  his  house  ...  ignoring  you  lol  .  he’s  really  about  his  looks  and  won’t  leave  the  house  without  making  sure  that  he  looks  impeccable  ,  and  he  will  go  home  if  he  feels  ugly  .  he  can  be  really  sarcastic  and  it  doesn’t  take  much  but  a  couple  of  words  to  put  him  into  a  sour  mood  ,  so  he’s  a  real  testy  one  .  above  all  else  ,  though  ,  he  really  likes  to  have  fun  and  he’s  really  social  so  please  come  join  him  at  his  house  for  some  reality  show  viewing  with  wine  and  junk  food  .

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝  𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬  .

idk  why  i’m  envisioning  this  ,  but  someone  he  drew  inspo  from  for  the  manga  he’s  working  on  .  they  could  either  m  ,  nb  ,  or  female  of  course  and  it’s  more  so  based  on  their  looks  than  anything  else  ,  but  he’s  always  going  to  them  and  wanting  to  show  the  progress  he’s  making  !

i’d  die  if  he  had  an  angsty  ex  boyfriend  kinda  thing  because  honestly  👀  i  wanna  have  my  wig  snatched  thank  u  .

a  best  friend  !  

someone  that  tries  to  make  him  workout  but  in  reality  he’s  sitting  and  eating  a  bagel  on  the  weight  bench  .

some  generic  tingz  like  neighbors  ,  friends  with  benefits  ,  confidant(s)  ,  good  or  bad  influence  ,  one  night  stand(s)  ,  a  current  fling  ,  enemies  with  benefits  ,  and  frenemies  !!!

honestly  i’m  a  sl*t  for  angst  and  everything  that  comes  with  it  so  please  hand  it  over  or  i’ll  start  crying  .

[sarakuper]

Minca, Santa Marta (again), and Palomino

Stop #9, February 5-11

Ugh. Here we go! While I’m writing this post its actually February 18th, and I wrote nothing during our time in Minca, Santa Marta (again), and Palomino, Feb 5-11. So here’s my best shot.

We took a collectivo (a van) about 45 minutes from Santa Marta to Minca. Right when we arrived we noticed two things: 1- everyone here is backpacker (unless you work in tourism, then you’re Colombian) and 2- everyone’s arms and legs looked diseased, but really they were just completely covered in what we thought were mosquito bites, but learned later were bites from sandflies.

We climbed all the way up to our hostel, Casa Loma, which had excellent reviews. It was all the way up in the mountains at the perfect angle to watch the sunset. This place didn’t have a kitchen for the guests but offered meals all day, only serving vegetarian dishes “that will make you feel like you’re eating meat”. We got a private room, but after our first night, and eating their delicious tacos, I woke up not feeling well at all. We had to change rooms because our private room wasn’t available for the 4 consecutive nights we planned to stay. So Sean packed up all my things and moved us to our other room. I hated the rooms. Im sure it was partly because I was sick, but also they were basically huts with no where to put your things. It was only big enough for a bed and nothing else. You couldn’t even stand in it! It looks really nice and rustic (I think so anyway) but while they looked pretty they lacked comfort in so many ways. The mosquito net around the bed was also super small making everything feel claustrophobic. Anyway, I had the same illness in Jardin, so at least I know what to expect. It was also very hot in Minca, and there was absolutely no breeze or circulation in the rooms. There was barely electricity, so asking for a fan was out of the question. Luckily, when Sean told them I got sick, they were willing to give us a refund for our last two nights. We left the morning after our second night and went straight back to La Guaca, my favorite hostel. La Guaca had A/C in the rooms and honestly, that’s what I really wanted while feeling sick in 95 degree weather!

Sean didn’t like Minca anyway. It was waaaaay too white, too accommodating for tourists/backpackers. It didn’t feel Colombian at all. And, while it was beautiful, we felt we had experienced the things Minca could offer but back in San Rafael, the very Colombian town where we did our first workaway. 

So, adios Minca! It was nice knowing ya! Back to La Guaca Hostel in Santa Marta :)

At this point it was the 8th and we had a flight out of Santa Marta to Cali on the 11th. We spent the next few days in typical Santa Marta fashion; slept, ate, relaxed, beached, snorkeled. It was wonderful, I must say. Over this time I became friendly with Ana, one of the receptionists at La Guaca, giving her henna tattoos, and then Ana, her boyfriend Ash, myself, and Sean, hung out and played Uno. 

On the Sunday before we left we headed to Palomino for a day trip. We had heard a lot about Palomino from the backpackers but only made time to go as a day trip. And wow, we are really glad we did it that way! Palomino is basically a long dirt road loaded will hostels. Again, a town 100% accommodating to tourists and completley without locals (except those working in tourism). Once we got to the beach we walked down a long ways and found the most beautiful area. One of the things Sean learned from our summer camping trip is to always travel as far down the path as possible, not stopping when you think you've found a good spot. Then, by the time you've reached the end you will truly know if you've found the best spot. The ocean was so strong, it didn’t seem safe or appealing for swimming. But, we walked to where the river meets the ocean, and this is where all the locals come to spend their time. It was filled with both tourists from all over the world and also from Colombia. We found a spot to lay nestled under tons of palm trees and enjoyed the rest of the day admiring the gorgeous scenery of all the things you didn’t know you could see in one place: The ocean, river, snowcapped mountains, and a forest filled with palm trees. AMAZING. We really enjoyed this day trip. Completely without wifi or technology, in an amazing place. Sean and I were so relaxed and so connected. All was absolutely wonderful. Oh, and did I mention the adorable puppy and dogs running around? We named this cute puppy, Boyle :)

On our last full day in Santa Marta we went to Migración Colombia, to follow up with our visa extension. We are given 90 days of travel without a visa, and apparently you can extend it another 90 days via a form online, but it hasn’t worked for us. That’s a whole mess that still isn’t fully resolved, so I’m not going to bother getting into it! Needless to say, we wasted an afternoon and a morning at the migration office making little progress.

Next stop is Cali, the salsa capital of Colombia! We are heading down there as our furthest point south before making our way back to Medellin. 

Thanks for reading fam, love you all.

[glassworkspiderlilies]

giyushino week wrap up!

aaaaand that’s a wrap!! thank you to the moderators of giyushinoweek, and to everyone who liked/reblogged/commented on/sent me asks about my fics!!

it was a wild ride to write 8 fics in basically a week or so; i keep saying the fics were hastily or frantically written but LMAO considering how little fic i put out nowadays and how long it usually takes me to write because i edit as i go (which means i take f o r e v e r ), i was seriously just screaming like I JUST GOTTA DO IT I JUST GOTTA GO WITH IT I DON’T HAVE TIME the entire time haha. it was really good to be able to just think of a thing and run as far as i could with it, though!! it’s been quite a long time since i was able to do that, and it was really nice to have a project to work on in the back of my head. <3

ideally, if i work myself up to it, i’d like to revisit all of these and spruce them up to post to ao3, but we’ll see. :’) 

under the cut is just some thoughts on my process during this and also writing each of the fics, if you’re interested! favorite prompt, the most difficult parts to write, what the fic was originally was, things like that. 

thank you again, everyone!! back to hibernation and occasional slow snail pace writing i go, haha.

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re: writing process -i tried writing a fic per day during the week before the actual event, which...kind of worked!! ideally, i was going to write a mostly complete fic each day, and then spend the week of the event editing each one before i posted it. what really ended up happening was that i partially wrote several, but not all of them, during the previous week, and then spent the week of finishing up, editing, or writing the whole thing more or less the day before the prompt was “due”, LMFAO. my weekday schedule is pretty structured because of work--I have maybe an hour or two of free time before i have to sleep--so i doubled down a bit more on the weekends. i know like it wasn’t imperative that i meet the “deadline”, but i really, really wanted to!! i figured i’ve written a fic per day for fandom weeks before so why can’t i do it again, but BOY i don’t know who i was back then. i mean, i still did it (yay!) but it seemed so much easier then?? either i was just writing more back then or less afraid or...something, or it’s just been so long that i don’t remember what i felt, LOL.

-i was really quite nervous in the beginning to post the fics, since again, they’re pretty hastily written and my usual writing process is much more “careful” and drawn out. but, it was also freeing as the week went on to just post and not worry, because the point of the week was to have fun, and not necessarily to write the best work i expected of myself within a limited time. (oh, how the perfectionist in me still hisses, though.) still, i’m glad people liked them, and even the extra notes that i just kinda spit out for some of them. :’) i do wish that some had gotten more attention than others, but those ones don’t show up in the tags and i’m not sure why, so. alas. 

re: the fics -confession: as of now, i feel pretty neutral about all of them, since i wrote them in a frenzy. at some point i’ll probably go back and read them and feel differently (and catch my mistakes! oh no!), haha. -a lot of them ended up being AU, which is...??? unexpected?? but i think it was just easier to put them in an entirely different setting, so i could play a bit more loose with their characters, haha. 

day 1 - glance (or hug) -this one...im pretty sure was one of the ones i waited until the last possible minute to finish up. it’s pretty basic event-wise, one of the few more regular slice-of-lifey ones for the week. it was surprisingly hard to get down the “movement” of it all; a glance is hard to describe in detail and in any other way, but i had really wanted to create kind of this...fleeting, almost nostalgic atmosphere in the back and forth of “he keeps looking, she keeps missing”, if that makes any sense. oof, it’s still hard to describe what i had wanted to achieve even outside of the fic!!

day 2 - soulmate (or family) -this one was SUPER HARD to write!!! originally i had wanted to go with a “A sees flashes of what B sees” soulmate prompt, because i figured that would be SO disorienting and would be fun to play with. but i ended up not being able to run with that one. i had also wanted to do the “soulmates write on themselves and the words show up on the other’s arm” idea, based off of what i had started in a 100 word drabble i did, but that deserved wayyyyyy more exploration and angst i was able to write in the time i’d allotted. i do like the “tattoo” soulmate aus the best, i think, and i did want to explore the one i did more, buuuut. alas. soulmates aus are something i prefer to read rather than write, i think, they can get so complicated!! 

day 3 - AU (or touch) -i’ve already made enough notes on this haha, but this ended up being a little too ambitious!! it wasn’t originally supposed to stop where it did, but i just...kinda got stuck and couldn’t bring myself to continue it, because i knew it would just keep going and needed more thinking out. so i just stopped it at the scene break, and hoped it would be decent enough. :’) surprisingly people seemed to enjoy this one most of all????? or maybe it was just the au itself that was a appealing, haha. regardless, i was surprised at the amount of notes this got!

day 4 - demon & wedding -soooooo this might’ve been my favorite prompt LMAO, like when i realized what i wanted to do for this day, i got excited because like, oooh yeah, pain. definitely wanted to go in on this to flesh out and explore various aspects more than i did, but i think of all the ones i wrote, i might be the most pleased with this one so far. 

day 5 - moon (or angst) -honestly, it’s a surprise i didn’t choose angst for day 5. writing about shinobu’s death would’ve been so easy, but i’ve seriously been putting it off since i started writing for kimetsu no yaiba. both “a blade of honey” and “if not cut at dusk”, which are my longer fics, were intended to be about shinobu’s death scene and turned into something completely different, and i ended up avoiding it for day 5 even though it could’ve been so easy. it’s denial, probably! anyway, shinobu’s MAD BOLD here. she would never. maybe. there’s two shinobus that i think about--the "usual” one, modeling herself after kanae, and one who’s more in line with her younger self/inner feelings. i think i went with the latter for a lot of these fics, because i didn’t have to be as careful with dialogue. giyu might’ve suffered character-wise, though, woops. but again, maybe shinobu would, in the vein that she wants to win and have the last laugh, haha. still, i feel more like she wouldn’t. :P oh, also, do you remember ages ago, when AMVs were still widespread, that scene that was everywhere in naruto where hinata’s bathing/training at the waterfall and it’s like really pretty and cool and stuff? yeah. that’s what i wanted this one to be, a little, LMFAO. genuinely surprised that people thought this one was pretty spicy!!

day 6 - kiss (or ocean) -confession: i wrote all of this while i was at work LOLLLL. it was a slow day, i promise. this might’ve been the easiest one to come up with, because the “quick, kiss me!” to escape situation is a classic. the characterization is preeeetttyyyyy loose here, but it was also kind of fun, honestly. my day 5 and day 6 run in pretty similar veins though, so i had kind of wished the endings were a bit more distinct from each other. 

day 7 - date (or crossover) -honestly i had wanted to do like, a soul eater crossover!! really i was planning out an au, but i think a crossover specifically has characters of two series interacting, and then i was Tired and was like, i can’t do that. crossovers aren’t something i usually read, either, so the planning got too complicated and i gave  up. the date idea was also one that came much later and one that i finished up last minute; i’d wanted to make it a little more cohesive and come up with better things for sabito’s list, but. eh. it got longer than i expected too! ideally there would’ve been more of the college life, and sabito and makomo. i thought about doing another additional notes for this, but there was wasn’t enough i had wanted to add on. really it was just the majors for them i’d been playing with--shinobu as a med student (possibly a minor in horticulture/botany, SOMEHOW), sabito & giyu as hydraulic engineering majors (sabito more on fieldwork, giyu more on research), and makomo as a marine veterinary student. shrug!! the lines of “you do realize we were set up, right” and “this was a date, tomioka-san” were the highlight for me, haha. and i’m inordinately fond of the title.

day 8 - halloween (or n*sfw) -sexy stuff isn’t my forte at all!!!! so halloween it was, but. i was thinking of skipping out on this one, and then was like, oh what the hell, you’ve come this far, of course you’re going to go the last leg, too. already wrote enough notes on this one too, but yeah, this one really was quick, and just barely meets the prompt, i think, lmao. ended up being more of a fantasy au, which was fun, though there was a lot left unexplored. ultimately just glad that i was able to come up with something for the last stretch. :)

please feel free to drop me an ask if you have any thoughts or comments! i’d love to hear your thoughts on the fics for the week, if you’d like to share. :) 

thanks for reading!!

[halfgclden]

character meme for cleo;;; brotp meme for: l/katie, l/keaton, chase/ellie, chase/lulu, parker/kerri, parker/faye, jordan/victoria, ime/fizz, cleo/fizz;;;; headcanons: ☆ for chase, ☮for parker/faye, ★ for ime

Cleo

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod: The Orion Experience - Cult of Dionysus, Chance The Rapper - Cocoa Butter Kisses, San Cisco - The Distance, ABBA - Voulez-Vous (fun fact: Cleo only has two tattoos that are pure text and one reads “VOULEZVOUS” and the other reads “ANGELEYES” because she Knows what’s up)

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep – where they’re not supposed to: it’d be in the woods or the strawberry fields, but this happens very rarely

the game they’d destroy everyone else at: she loves pool and loves making people think she seems bad at it so that she can bet them lol 

the emoticon they’d use most often: ok it’s between 💕 and the pleading face but that won’t show up on the computer so

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep: she gets pretty cranky lol. it’s like when she can’t choose an outfit normally she just figures something out but when she’s tired and can’t pick out an outfit she wants to cry and not get out of the shower until the water runs cold.

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.: she likes chai lattes or mulled wine, depending on the mood

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump: she likes to take baths but she can’t really do that at camp lol (which makes her extra sad), so she’ll do yoga, light some candles, and then play sad music over her headphone and pretend she’s in a music video as she stares out the window (bonus points if it’s raining and/or she’s on the bus)

what they wanted to be when they grew up: a writer, and then an architect (the second of which she’s actually got a degree in)

their favorite kind of weather: she likes it when it rains, but a warm rain, because it reminds her of home

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?): she’s got a pretty good voice that she doesn’t do anything with but sing along to the radio/her playlist (but also get her drunk enough and she’s way down for karaoke)

how/what they like to draw or doodle: she mostly draws plants and things of that nature (ha, get it?)

L/Katie

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: L and every single time she pretends she didn’t do it and then laughs her head off at her own joke

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: gonna ignore this bc ya

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: i can’t see either of them getting arrested but maybe katie because L went to a protest or something and got caught up in arrests???

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: katie seems like she’d give good advice. she was probably like “L what’s up with you and Blue n Rosie?? stop being a useless lesbian” so ya c:

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: i feel like katie does this and L just giggles

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: ummm they both seem like they’d be like “no, you take what you want” “no, no, i insist, take what you want” lol

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: L starts them and they both get tired rather than anyone winning

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf would either of them??? 

L/Keaton

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: see above lol, but she’d take them from Keaton less often and offer some of her own as well

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: ha neither they’re both like “EW”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: keaton is so tame but i can see some unfortunate thing happening that he got caught up in and he calls L all embarrassed bc he’s like “i don’t want rory to worry too much”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: i think L is the one that gives more advice and comfort!!

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: L and keaton lets it slide because she’s a goober

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: lol L so that keaton can get the bottom bunk with his leg

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: they seem like they’d each throw a pillow and L would flop dramatically and give a death monologue 

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: neither?? idk

Chase/Ellie

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: chase always and ellie’s like “YOU HAVE UR OWN” and chase is like “YA BUT URS LOOK BETTER”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: look ik its always chase in jail but ellie has such a temper i feel like she’d be the one to be arrested lol 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: umm chase gives comfort, not advice, and he also doesn’t date so i guess that answers that

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: lol chase?? he’d cheat by changing his card to say what he wanted it to with his powers

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: chase says give me top bunk or give me death

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: i feel like chase would start one jokingly and end up yelling “i surrender!!!” over and over again as all the siblings team up against him

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf definitely not chase. i feel like ellie WOULD tho and chase’s hair would turn bright pink 

Chase/Lulu

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: they each steal so many fries from each other that they might as well have eaten their own fries

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: it’d have to be lulu

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: ok it’d be lulu busting chase out but also the idea of lulu going to jail and then making friends w all the inmates is so funny to me lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: they seem like they both wouldn’t?? chase might be like “u have any crushes?? is it carly?? u should do an interpretive dance to her favourite song i bet she’d fall for u then”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: lulu and chase is like “oh!! i can not see! i must be blind!”

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: i feel like they’d actually race each other for it lol. chase pulls her off as she’s going up the ladder, lulu oils it so he can’t get up, they both have to sleep on the floor

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: lulu starts them, chase is too good at them, but also i can see her and logan and carly all teaming up against him here too

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: gods why can i 100% see lulu saying this and chase being like “noooooo”

Parker/Kerri

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: parker and kerri is like “why didn’t you get two orders????” and he’s like “bc you got one that i could eat (:”

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: lmao parker and kerri’s like “get ouTTa here valentine”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: i can’t imagine why parker would go to jail but it would probably be kerri busting him out lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: hmmm kerri bc parker’s not good at advice oR comfort lmao

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: kerri only did this once when she realized how dumb the move was in chess and just took it back. parker didn’t even realize what her mistake was

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: parker would want the bottom bunk tbh

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: kerri and parker’s like “oh so thAt’s how it is???” and she gives up before it gets too intense

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf parker?? but only when he’s in a certain mood and then kerri’s like “you can’t sAy that”

Parker/Faye

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: parker tried once and got one warning. next time he’s getting stabbed

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: neither, faye just gags loudly

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: lmao parker and he’s like “tsk tsk” and she’s like “not another word”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: lmao they don’t talk about this stuff with each other

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: um if parker tried this he Would get stabbed

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: faye calls dibs on whatever she wants that day and parker’s like “ugh” and argues for like five minutes just to argue and then lets her have whichever she wants

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: they don’t pillow fight anymore because every time they did it would get too serious lol

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: um this seems like more of a faye line but would she say this to jack ???

Jordan/Victoria

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: jordan doesn’t get food, he just steals victoria’s fries and then she’s like “vvvvvvv why didn’t you just sAy you wanted friES????”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: if jordan ever got caught, victoria. but also if victoria ever got caught doing something w cyrus i doubt she’d call jordan lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: umm they Don’t

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: they shamelessly cheat in other ways lol

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: jordan teleports there and sticks his tongue out and she’s like “well i wanted the bottom bunk ANWAY asshole”

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: jordan starts them and nobody wins them bc he runs away but vic counts that as him giving up so she wins lol

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: both of them are like “ew” but also vic would just to annoy him

Ime/Fizz

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: hmm fizz steals them and ime lets her

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: ime has to bust fizz out and fizz is like “don’t say it” and ime’s like “u shouldn’t have gotten caught” and fizz is like “i told u not to say it!!!” and then she’s like “ugh just don’t tell alec they’ll cry” and ime’s like “hmmmmmmm… ok”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: lol ime gives advice and fizz is like “omfg did i ask??”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: neither of them need to do this they just play and let their powers go wild

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: hmm fizz

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: umm ime starts fizz wins?

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: ime says this to caine and fizz is like “i’ll kill u”

Cleo/Fizz

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: ummm fizz but cleo would offer anyway

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: lol cleo would

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: cleo does nOt seem like the person who fizz would call but she’d come get her if she did

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: cleo’s like “ugH i like someone” and fizz is like “can u be a little quieter abt that please that’s gross”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: they cheat in other ways thank u v much

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: ummm cleo will say she’s fine with either and then fizz chooses the one she wants and cleo sulks lol

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: cleo starts them by accident, fizz wins

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: fizz?? to make fun of cleo mostly

Chase

☆ - happy headcanon

chase will leave post it notes on his sibling’s doors/on the bathroom door/mirror to remind them to take their vitamins, grab their glasses on the way out the door, or pick up milk (and things like that). it started as a way to remind jesse that he should wear his glasses more but now caspar or ellie will also wake up with a little note on their door with a doodle that’s like “don’t forget an umbrella today! its supposed to rain!!

Parker/Faye

☮ - friendship headcanon

parker loves having a friend that he can be competitive with and also kind of be a total bitch with. he likes the fact that they banter and don’t talk about anything too serious

Ime

★ - sad headcanon

ime’s grandmother died only a few months after they arrived at camp. they were able to go home for the funeral, but they didn’t even know that she’d been sick and feel as though they never had a proper goodbye

[journalistquinnfabray]

Tagging: @doveportcedes

Time frame: Post the accident 2/14

Location: Hospital 

Notes: Directly post accident. Mercedes feelings about it and Quinns feelings about her life/ seeing puck again. 

Quinn:  Quinn pulls her car up to the scene, the flashing lights making her unable to see how bad it is. She had gotten a text from her boss about a crash and how she had to go report on it for the morning. Grumpily, she left Oliver behind and drove to the scene. The closer she walks to the scene, the more is revealed, and Quinn feels like shes walking into a horror scene. She knows that car, the black four door car. Her heart sinks as she approaches, seeing blood and glass scattered across the asphalt. Shes startled when her phone rings, dropping her camera.

 "Hello?" Quinn answers. "Is this Lucy Fabray?" An unkown man asks. 

 Quinn almost forgets her own name for a moment. "n- Yes this is her" "You're Mercedes Jones' emergency contact, theres been an accident." 

 The rest of the call fades out into a blur as Quinn realises its true. This is one of her closest friends cars. Crushed like a can, sitting infront of her. She searches out for a body in the car before realising the flashing lights are getting further away. She runs back into her car, almost forgetting to pick up her camera before speeding off to the only hospital she knows.

Mercedes:  It had been hours before Mercedes had awoken. The room was dark and she knew it was early morning, it was just a feeling. For a moment, it was all a dream, for a moment she was in bed and the rest of the world had just witnessed her concert, she saved a cat and she was on top of the world. 

But then the pain started, her head, her body, her leg. She heard movement and noticed someone sitting across from her. Her eyes adjusted and she realized it was Quinn. "Q?" She said hoarsely and trying to sit up.

Quinn: Quinn was starting to drift off sitting on the couch. She was worried for her friend, and the anxiety had been eating her up inside, but shes had to wait hours and its getting kind of late. The doctor told her not to expect Mercedes to wake up anytime soon, and she doesnt feel bad if she takes a quick 20 minute power nap. Just as she starts drifting off she hears a hoarse voice. Sitting up quickly, she can see her friends eyes open, and shes struggling to sit up. Her heart blooms with happiness that her friend is alive. "Mercedes!" She almost yells in her excitement "Thank god! Here, let me help you" Quinn rushes over to help her friend sit up.

Mercedes:  Mercedes stared at Quinn and accepted her help sitting up. "Q what happened?" She ran her hands through her hair but stopped feeling a bandage on her forehead. "It wasn't a dream was it?" She swallowed remembering the accident. Her leg being crushed by the door and steering column. Connor telling her everything would be okay.

Quinn:  Quinn looks at her friend with pity as she watches the revelation come over her. "There was an accident. Some idiot ran a red light and crashed into you. It wasnt a dream." She holds her friends hand, hoping to be the support the girl needs.

Mercedes:  Mercedes felt tears come to her eyes. The averted down to her leg. She couldn't bare to look at it, to move it, if she lost it... She was about to ask Quinn about it when the door opened and the nurse walked in. 

 "Oh good you are awake I was just coming to check on you." She said softly. "I know you must have a ton of questions, I can get the doctor for you." 

 Mercedes just nodded, still trying to process it all. She looked at Quinn as the nurse stepped out and squeezed her hand. "You look tired Q, tell me you haven't been here all night?"

Quinn:  Quinn watched Mercedes with sad eyes. She wished she could take the pain away from her friend. "How could I leave you here? I didn't even know I was your emergency contact" Quinn sighs "I came to report and saw it was your car, and then I got the call" She rubbed circles into Mercedes hand. "I couldn't go home without seeing that you were okay, regardless of what the doctor said"

Mercedes:  Mercedes nodded. "Sorry Q I meant to tell you." she said softly. "I have you and San." She exhaled laying back for a moment. "I am so happy you are here,  I don't want to be alone. God Q i was so scared...I thought." She shook her head as she closed her eyes.

Quinn:  Quinns glad that Mercedes chose her to be an emergency contact. "Its okay, I know now. Thank you for picking me" Quinn looks down at the cast, worried about her leg. "You're okay, I promise. The doctors even think you'll get back most of your motion"

Mercedes:  "I might?" She couldn't believe this was happening.  She looked at her friend and forced a smile. She knew Quinn, knew she felt it all. "Hey, hey its okay, I am okay."

Quinn:  Quinn smiled at her friend, trying to force happiness for her. "The good news is that we have tons of time to catch up on brooklyn nine nine?" She says, it coming out as more of a question than a statement. She hugs her friend. "I'm really glad you're okay Mercy"

Mercedes:  Mercedes tried to smile widely but only got halfway. "For sure! The new Season started and I am so behind." She hugged her back. "Me too Q." The doctor walked in with a soft smile. 

 "Well nice to see you among the pand of the living Mercedes. Your dad would have my hide if anything happened to you."  

"Hi Dr. Carter." She said hoarsely.

 "So looks like you had a very bad accident. You suffered from whiplash which is normal and a minor head lack, but your leg is what we were worried about. Your femur bone was fractured from the crash, and you ankle was broken. Most femoral shaft fractures take 3 to 6 months to completely heal. You will need therapy but the worst of it is you need to stay off your leg for at least 8 weeks if not more." 

 "What!?!?!"

Quinn:  Quinn swallows. This is not good news. She worries for her friend, and she hopes her face hasn’t gone pale. “Mercedes, the most important thing is that you’re alive okay? You can overcome all this other stuff”

Mercedes:  She may have nodded at Quinn, but her mind was running rampant with thoughts of fear and loss. Her future, her life it was all gonna change. And she wasnt ready to face it. "Yeah you are right." She lied.

Quinn:  Quinn rubs more soothing circles into Mercedes hand "Anything you need, I'm here for you okay? I'll help you get better. Its only a few weeks and you'll be back to normal! You're so lucky"

Mercedes:  Mercedes sighed. "Thanks Q, I am so glad you are here. I dont know what I would do if I were alone." She squeezed Quinns hand.

Quinn:  Quinn softly smiles. "You know I'd always be here for you." Squeezing her hand once again "So, tell me all about how you felt at the concert!"

Mercedes:  Mercedes sighed closing her eyes. "I felt complete. Like, like that is what I should be doing every day of my life. I love my job I love my patients but Q, I belong on that stage." She looked down to her leg. "Or at least I did."

Quinn:  Quinn feels so much sadness for her friend. This was supposed to be the night of her life, and now here she is in the hospital. “You’ll get back there, I promise. You killed it on that stage”

Mercedes:  Mercedes shook her head. "This just proves that I need to stay put and not venture away from what I know."

Quinn:  "No!" Quinn states. "Mercedes, you cant let this stop you if its your dream. What if this is just the lord testing you? Maybe he wants you to fight for it"

Mercedes:  Mercedes stared at her. "How is this a test? Its devastating. My heart was so full and now im certain that I was never meant to do this." Could it really be a test? Could she really be happy not being on that stage again?"

Quinn:  "I don't know. We both know he works in weird ways. I know you were meant to do this. You were up on that stage, and you just looked so at home. You're supposed to do that 'Cedes. Dont let this stop you, let it make you stronger"

Mercedes:  Mercedes sighed with tears in her eyes. "Q what if I can't walk the same or stand the same? What if I can never do it again?"

Quinn:  Quinn doesnt know how to answer her friend. She can say the right thing, but it may not be true. "I don't know. You might not be able to. But that cant stop you, please don't let it stop you"

Mercedes:  Mercedes wiped her eyes before closing them. Her hands wrapped around Quinn's hand. She knew Quinn was right and maybe just maybe she could make it this time. "I won't."

Quinn:  Quinns glad her friend seems to listen. She'll follow up with it later. "I'm glad. How else have you been?"

Mercedes:  Mercedes sighed. "Nothing really I have been so busy with work and the concert I dont think I've had a life."

Quinn: Quinn smiles, a thought coming to her head. "How about I tell you some stories from my fucked up life to distract you? The Quinn Fabray show always seems to have drama"

Mercedes:  Mercedes sighed moving slowly to make room for Quinn. "Come on lay down and tell Cedes everything."

Quinn:  Quinn lays beside Mercedes, tucking her head carefully onto the other girls shoulder. "Well, for one, you'll never guess who lives in this dumb town. Puck, as in, that Puck"

Mercedes:  Mercedes eyes widened. "No, Quinn no! Noah Puckerman is your "Puck?"

Quinn:  She expected Mercedes shock, heck, even she was shocked herself. "Yup, the one and only. I couldn't believe it! and to make matters worse, I literally ran into him on a beach when I was already trying to calm down"

Mercedes:  Mercedes knew about their history and knew how hard seeing him had to be for her. "Q, oh I am so sorry. What did he say?"

Quinn:  Quinn sighs. "It was a kind of awkward catch up. Did you know Sarahs pregnant? We're getting old. And he has heaps of tattoos now" Quinn sniffles, hes not the easiest topic to talk about.

Mercedes:  Mercedes leaned into her and took her hand. "Had I known... I am sorry you had to see him like that."

Quinn:  Quinn shakes her head. "You couldn't have known. I barely told you about him, its alright. It just bought up all those feelings about Lily that I thought I was over"

Mercedes:  "Q, you will never truly be over any feelings about Lily. Its not in you. He just brought them to the surface. I wanna punch him for hurting you."

Quinn:  "Don't punch him, you can't run away right now" Quinn chuckles, hoping its already an appropriate time to make jokes. "I had stopped thinking about her you know? I wasn't stuck in my head anymore about it. Yeah, I still think about her daily, but it wasn't torture. And now, its all back."

Mercedes:  Mercedes couldn't know the pain Quinn was feeling, but her heart broke for her best friend. "You did what you had to do. There is no need to feel tortured I know you can't help it but I wish you could see that."

Quinn:  Quinn sighs, she always feels so heartsick about it.  “I don’t know. He’s all mature, and adult now. I can’t help but think about what it would be like if we could’ve kept her. I know we made the best choice at the time, but we were kids who didn’t know better”

Mercedes:  "Trust me Noah Puckerman is not all Mature." She leaned against Quinn. "You gave Lily a life, you gave her a chance. And that was you being her mom."

Quinn:  Quinn nods, she tells herself those words all the time but shes not sure if she ever believes them. "He's much more mature than back then. He used to spend hours lecturing me on the different super Marios and why 2 was the best”

Mercedes:  "Okay he has grown up, yes I guess but he's still the ass who hurt you and I am not here for that."

Quinn:  "Please don't go fight Puck right now. Hes not worth it. The good news is, I think I might actually be getting over him"

Mercedes: "Why?" She whined but then smiled. "Getting over him?!?!? How whats up?" 

Quinn:  "Because you're literally injured Mercy. He'll still be there to fight when you heal up." Seeing Puck was a shock for sure, and it reminded Quinn of all her relationship fuck ups. "Well I think I was in love with him for a while back then, and then he you know, took off and ran, so I never really got closure. But seeing him, it kind of made me realise just how much he wouldn't fit into my life anymore."

Mercedes:  Mercedes sighed. "Fine." she whined. "Your life is so much better than it was and you are right he doesn't fit. And I am happy about that."

Quinn:  Quinn nudges her friend, looking up at her. “I love you, you know that? Today has reminded me just how grateful I am to have you in my life.”

Mercedes:  "Oh Q. You are my best friend. I am grateful for you too. And i know seeing him was hard, but I am so proud of how you handled all of that."

Quinn: Quinn presses a kiss to her friends cheek. "My life does seem to be an endless list of fuck ups doesnt it?" 

Mercedes:  "No." She assured her. "This is all about finding our way. Finding your way and you are already there."

Quinn:  “Ah, I dunno. I still have a lot of things I need to check off my adulting list” Quinn jokes.

Mercedes:  Mercedes laughed. "You and me both. But if anyone can reach their goals and check em all off its you." She sighed. "I don't know where I would be without you Q, thanks for being here with me."

[lovebunnie]

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

[synnematic]

DAY 3: Letters to A Loved One

for @saboace-week

TWO PARTS:

Letters to No One ( written by me ) multiple chapters

a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955610/chapters/32125773

A Couple Years Too Late ( written by @reiji--san ) single chapter

a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955889

Summary: 

A collection of letters written over time with no set destination, but always a person in mind.

Letters to No One

Dear Sabo,

This is stupid.

Makinos got this idea in her head that I’m sad. Which I’m not. Im not sad anymore at all. I’m not. Its just hard. Youre not  When you died FUCK. Whatever. fuck spelling and whatnot too. not like you can read this anymore anyway. look. this is suposed to help i guess. a coping mechi mechen method. i write this letter and she stops naging at me. whatever it takes to make them all stop loking at me like im going to snap any second or try to run off again. not like i would anyway.

i know youre not coming back.

you’re dead

you left and you died and theres nothin i can do to turn back time or bring you back or get revenge becus the people that killed you are already GONE and i didnt even know until it was already to late

but im fine

im fine

im not fine

luffy is well hes been better but hes always been a crybaby so he’ll get better. im supposed to be strong now, stronger but i dont really  i don’t know how to handle the emotions and whatnot. not like you did. you always seemed to just GET it always sayin the right things, calmin me us him down. i can’t do that but im trying. im getting better i think.

we’ll get thrugh it

fuck this is stupid

what’s the point in writing a letter youl never read? or writing at all damn it

you taght me how to do this bulshit but i never thought id have to use it like this

fuck im not supposed to cry. messed up the ink now. not that it matters but still i wanted to fuck i dont know what i wanted anymore

sorry

im sorry sabo. i should have been i dunno. something. its different without you. too quiet and theres this pain in my chest all the time. like i’m the one that got shot. don’t get it but i hate it and it hurts and i just i wish you were here. i really wish you were here

i miss you

    ace

sabo,

hey i uhh found the other letter. never ended up giving it to makino but i think she knew i wrote it at least. luffy did but i don’t know what he did with his. i kept mine in the tree house, under one of the loose boards. its a little water damaged but i don’t think you really care huh?

this is still weird, talking to you like this. even though its not really a talk if its only one way. just like talking to an empty room but not even talking out loud

sorry

its been two years now to the day. maybe thats why i ended up finding the old letter in the first place. havent really been to the tree house much since then anyway because

well you know

went to the cliff tho. the one we used to sit at? i went there first yknow when i got youre letter. took me a while since im still not great at reading. getting better tho. it was quiet. always kinda is but really quiet this time with just a little wind. I think it would be a good day to go sailing. was it like this when you left too? dogma said it was a nice day but i dont really remember it that way.

i dont know why i do this to myself. same as last time i always get   i dunno. my chest still hurts. theres a doctor in foosha i went to once a while ago. thought maybe something was wrong with me. he said it was heart break. youd think this is something id get over but i guess not

youre still dead and im still breaking

i dont know when its gonna stop

if it does at all

    ace

sabo,

Is it nice where you are?

Overheard some people talking about it today. Talking about death and what comes after. It sounds nice. Heaven. If thats where you went. I think it should be. Where you went, that is, but nice too I guess.

It sounds warm.

I wonder sometimes if my mom went there too. Still dont really know much about her but she sounded nice. Maybe youve met? Is my d   Nah it doesn’t matter. I hope its nice there. I dont really beleive in that kinda stuff normaly, still kinda dont but i hope its true and youre happy there. Happier than you were here

I know its probably a stupid thing to ask but do you think ill ever be able to join you there?

The waves were choppy at the cliff today. Almost angry. Theres a storm comin but i think ill still go there later. Maybe

Ive been thinking about death a lot lately

    ace

Hey

I didn’t jump, obviously, since i’m writing to you now. Again. Sorry for the silence. Sometimes I just— I dont know. Everything rushes to my head all at once. It helps, occasionally, but then there are the times where my head fills with one singular drive or emotion and thats it, that’s all I can focus on. It used to be anger. So much anger. That was easier than the sadness though. Or the guilt.

There’s things I haven’t really told you. A lot of things actually. I was trying to be strong I guess. Still am. But Makino was right about one thing. It does help, these letters. I like to think sometimes that you just know. That you can read them or that my words somehow magically transfer to you. Wherever you are. But I know that kinda stuff doesnt happen. Not really. So this is more me talking to myself then. That I can do.

So for starters I guess, I had a dream about you last night. I used to have dreams about you a lot. Nightmares too. It’s been a while though, at least a few months since the last one. Normally the dreams are the same, extended memories or something small but usually just the two of us, sometimes luffy. Last night you turned to me in my dream but your face wasn’t right. And I think that’s more terrifying than any of the nightmares i’ve had.

I’m starting to forget what you look like, what you sound like.

It’s been six years now. Longer than the time I knew you. All I have left is the flag Luffy and I found in the wreckage of your ship. I tried to look for more but most of it’s been buried now and i’m afraid. I don’t know what Id do if I found your bones there.

We never took any pictures, never saved enough for something as meaningless as a camera and i regret that now.

I think i’m going to get a tattoo soon. Before I leave the island. Even if I forget what you look like and the sound of your laugh I still want to take you with me somehow. So you can sail the seas instead of — well.

I just don’t want to forget you sabo

    Ace

Me again,

I got that tattoo that I said I would in my last letter. It’s been a while now but it still itches every once in a while. Hah, you should have seen the guys face when I explained what I wanted done. People still keep mistaking it for a mispelling. As if I didn’t know how to spell my own name.

Anyway, got that done a little before I left Dawn and a lot has happened since then. I have my own crew! And a devil fruit too, though man was that a surprise. Still don’t really have the best of control over it and I set random things on fire sometimes but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m a CAPTAIN now! Got my own flag and everything. We’re the Spade pirates. Isn’t that cool? The Ace of Spades is supposed to be a card that symbolizes death but I don’t think we’re so bad. Hell, we’ve actually helped a lot of people so I hope you’re proud of me. Still wish you could have been my navigator but we probably would have ended up fighting all the time huh? Can’t have two people that want to be captain in the same crew obviously. You would have loved this life though.

I know you’re probably in a pretty nice place yourself right now but the open sea on a clear day is the most beautiful thing. And the STARS Sabo — when the sun sets down low you don’t even need the moon to see, the stars are so bright. Brighter than they ever were on the island.

You’re up there somewhere huh?

Is the view better than the one I’ve got right now?

Seven years is a long time my friend. I’ve grown a lot since I last saw you. Do you grow at all where you are? I bet I’d still be taller than you.

Wish you were here

    Ace

Hey Sabo

I think I need some advice right about now.

It’s been 103 days since Whitebeard defeated me and took me onto his flagship. Yeah, uhh, probably should have updated you on that sooner, huh? My bad. My crew was defeated not that long after I was too. We’re all here now but we’re fine I promise. Actually, that’s kinda my problem.

I want No, I wanted to kill him at first. Whitebeard. All this time hearing about my dad and all he accomplished in life, all he did. So many people that respected or hated him and I just — I don’t know. I heard that Whitebeard was around and I figured if I could just be the one to take him down, the one to kill him even when Roger couldn’t then maybe — Maybe I could prove myself. Prove that I’m stronger than him, than Roger. That I’m better somehow. Or at least different.

Not that that really worked out.

Could have killed me but instead he took me here and made this stupid speech about family and trust and wanting me to be his son or something and I told him no. Obviously. I don’t need a family after all, or at least more family. I’ve got Luffy. And you. Plus I wasn’t  I’m not about to just throw away my own ambitions yknow? I promised you, I PROMISED you that we’d go out to sea and live free lives, the life of pirates. I don’t want that to end, not when I wanted to take you with me on that journey, the life you never got to live.

So I kept fighting and fighting and fighting over and over again, new tactics, new plans. But Sabo I’m so tired now.

So tired.

And they’re really starting to grow on me. As much as I’ve tried to avoid the crew or even piss them off. There’s this one guy, Thatch, in particular that is just too god damn nice ALL THE TIME. And Marco too though he’s kinda stuck up. And they keep talking about family. About belonging and — I don’t know.

Is it bad that a part of me wants that? To have an actual home? To belong?

They don’t know though, not yet at least. They don’t know who I am and maybe — FUCK I don’t know. I don’t know how they’d react to knowing who I am, what I am. I’m scared to find out. But is it worth trying?

Would you hate me if I gave up a part of my freedom for something more?

I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. But at the same time I think you would want me to be happy too.

I don’t know yet for sure but maybe, maybe this is my one chance.

    Ace

He KILLED him.

One of the few genuine friends I have and he’s dead. All because of GREED. Why does this keep happening. Every time I grow attached and start to feel safe something like this happens again just to prove how messed up the world really is. Over a stupid FRUIT and now thatch is dead and— fuck. A member of my own division too. My responsibility and I failed again. Just like I failed you.

I can’t protect ANYONE. Even after all the training and the fighting, the missions and responsibilities. But when it actually matters I’m not even there and my friend gets stabbed in the back and left to DIE.

The blood’s on my hands. I should have known. Should have picked up on the signs and done something — anything . But I was too late. Again. And now he’s gone and that TRAITOR is who knows where.

Well not this time.

This isn’t going to be like what happened with you, with an enemy I never knew and had no chance of finding.

This time I’m going to find him and I’m going to make him pay.

I don’t care if I’m cursed. Maybe I brought this on them in the first place, just by being here. But I’m not going to just sit by and let this happen again. I couldn’t take revenge for you but I can for Thatch.

I can at least do that.

Sabo,

I’m getting close.

I know you probably don’t care, but writing to you like this is the only thing that seems to be keeping me sane recently. It’s like I’m chasing a damn shadow. Every time I get close or feel like I’ve finally caught up the bastard does something to out maneuver me or fuck me up somehow. It’s been months now but this time I think I’ve finally cornered him. Teach is apparently on his way to Water 7 now and there’s a little island, Banaro, that he’s sure to stop at. If I can get there before he leaves then I can finally avenge Thatch. I can make up for my own failures and make sure that he never hurts anyone from my family again.

I dunno how it’s going to go yet but he hasn’t had much time to master his new fruit yet so I should have the upper hand regardless of whatever that rat has planned.

Short letter this time, I know, but I don’t really have a lotta time to waste right now. I’ll be reaching port soon and from there — well, who knows. Guess I’ll probably update you again afterwards though, or whenever I get back to the rest of my crew.

It’s nice to know that I’ll finally be able to avenge someone important to me. Risky, but I know you’d do the same.

    Ace

Sabo,

I’m being executed today.

Guess that’s a solid way to start off my last  this letter, huh? Yeah, nice going Ace, well done. I really know how to keep things upbeat in these damn things don’t I?

Damn it.

Teach, well he, FUCK— sorry.

I don’t want to do this.

He beat me. I don’t have any excuses, nothin I can say to make up for what happened or explain it in anyway. He just did. Just another reason to hate him I guess, but if the alternative was joining him then this is better. Much better, Still, uhh, it hasn’t exactly been fun. Impel Down was just about as bad as I expected, maybe worse even. There’s— you know what, it doesn’t matter what it was like. You don’t need to know that.

Maybe I’m just stalling now.

They don’t really give a lot of time for these things apparently, even when they’re last requests. Bullshit, but I think they just don’t want me to be late for my closeup. Gol D. Roger’s only son means I’m about to broadcasted all around the world. Thanks dad. Great perks. Though, I expected as much. Just proving what I always feared.

ANYWAY, at least I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. Don’t actually know how long I was locked up in there but the silence does things to people, to me. I didn’t dream much while I was there, kinda hard to sleep, but I thought about you a lot. Actually, been thinkin about you a lot for a while but this was different I suppose.

The guys down there like to talk a lot. It helps pass the time but most of them are kinda shit people so I didn’t reply much. Still listened though.

Y’know, in twenty years, I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot— more than most my age, but there’s a lot I didn’t get to do too, didn’t learn about.

I never really thought about love until recently. It’s not really a pirate thing, huh? High seas and all that nonsense but life moves fast and a lot happens all at once. Not a lotta time to sit around and, I dunno, dream?

Whatever. Well, the guys down there talked a surprising amount about it, like it’s something magical, better than any other treasure, and it got me thinkin. I’ve never really cared about that stuff, haven’t since I was a kid. But I guess that’s because I figured no one would be able to stand me for long, no one would actually accept me for who I am. But, that’s not really right, huh? Since you did that right from the start. I’ve known that for ages but guess it didn’t really sink in until now.

Call it childish innocence or whatever, but you accepted me even back then when I was broody and angry and maybe a little murderous. You knew who I was, my history, my dreams, and you didn’t laugh or run away or anything like that. You smiled that stupid smile of yours and just accepted me, all of me.

Here I am about to— about to leave , and it’s because there’s a whole fucking WORLD out there that can’t seem to do the same thing a five year old noble brat could — no offense.

And y’know, if that’s the closest I get to love then I’ll take it. Hell, maybe I even love you too. Actually, no. I don’t think maybe is even a factor anymore. Seems stupid now that I think about it, but I probably loved you even back then. From the very start. Little late to be figuring that out now, huh?

They’re rushing me. Marine bastards.

I know I’ve talked a lot about, well, death. So many years spent just thinkin that I deserve it, just because of who my father was, but now that there’s this whole messed up world agreeing with me, is it wrong that I’m— fuck — I’m scared Sabo. Absolutely terrified and there’s nothing I can do about it. All these years I’ve practically asked for it and now—

I know it’s late to start saying this, way too late now, but Sabo, I want to live.

I want to do so much with my life than this. I want to explore more, see more. I want— I want what I can’t have anymore. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks, but this is how it ends for me. Goin out the same way my shitty pops did. Apparently. What a sick joke this all is.

But I'm running out of time now. Guess I’ve spent what time I had. Garp knows what to do with this after... after everything. I know it won't matter in the end, but I think all of these should be together, y'know? Just in case. It's nice to know that he still considered me family, even now. He's the only one here that seems to actually care. You would think these assholes would cut me a little slack now that we’re here but I just… I don’t think it matters to them that I'm about to die. Not even a little bit. Shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I’m still human after all. Just like them. But maybe they don’t see it like that.

I’d pray for miracles but I don’t think there are any gods out there to help me. I still don’t think there are any gods at all. Doesn't really bode well for what comes after, huh?

Luffy’s going to be mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn’t die.

Maybe we can both watch over him though? You’ll probably be mad at me for saying this but a part of me is a little relieved. At the end. At least I’ll get to see you again, right? I don’t even know if we’ll both end up in the same place, but I can hope. I really, really hope. It’s selfish but I’m glad that I won’t be alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

    Ace

A Couple Years Too Late

Dear Ace,

         It’s been a while, has it not? I’m sorry, but man do I have some things to tell you.

If only I could tell you.

I got your letters. Well, more like I found your letters. Stored away in a box at our old tree house. Can you believe it’s still intact after all these years? Pretty good for a couple of kids huh?

.

.

.

Dear Ace,

         I’m sorry. I can’t believe I stopped so soon. Not even a couple sentences in and I had to leave the room. What an idiot. Let me start again.

Hey Ace. How are you? Are you eating well? Getting enough rest? You have to make sure to take care of yourself, I’m not there to nag at you anymore now. You’re all grown up. I sound like such a parent I’m sorry. I just care and want the best for you. I got your letters. I’m sorry the delivery took so long. Way too long. It’s a shame this is how we reunite. I hoped I could have seen you at least once before

.

.

.

Dear Ace,

          I did it again. At this rate I’ll clean out Headquarter’s paper supply. I’m sorry. It’s just, every time I write, my vision gets blurry and I can’t see anymore. How can I properly reply to you if I don’t know what I’m writing? Would be embarrassing if I had a bunch of spelling mistakes especially since I’m the one that taught you how to write.

Speaking of which, you’ve gotten a lot better! I can see from the different letters you wrote. It makes me happy to see that, shows you practiced a lot. Did you help Luffy too? I only taught him so much before I left, I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard on you.

It must have been really hard on you…

I’m sorry. I keep speaking nonsense. I just don’t know where to begin, what to say. This is the third time I’m trying to write to you and you are right—it’s pretty stupid. Maybe a part of me is just hoping that the same thing will happen with you. That you’ll get this letter in 10 years or so and then maybe we could meet again, somewhere in this wide ocean.

Or maybe somewhere in skies up above.

I can dream, right?

.

.

.

Hey Ace, Is this how you felt? When you wrote every one of those letters, did it hurt this badly each time? I’m sorry, I should’ve come to get them sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t even be writing this right now if I had. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to write them if I had come sooner. I’m sorry. I really made it hard for you huh? I’m happy you wrote though. It feels as if you are here, talking to me. Telling me of your struggles, your adventures. All the good and the bad—even though I already knew some of this. I’m happy for you Ace. Truly I am. I wish I could’ve been there when you sailed out to sea, we could’ve sailed out together. Met your first crew, that I wouldn’t be a part of because I would have had a better crew.

When you found a family .

I’ll have to visit them one day, and properly thank them. It’s the least I can do.

Hey, remember the declarations we made back at the cliff? I still haven’t done mine, been busy, it’ll probably take a while. Still, you did yours did you not? You let the whole world know who you were. Fire Fist Ace, that’s a pretty cool name they gave you. You were always the better big brother so I’m not surprised you beat me to it. Mine’s a little bit harder so cut me some slack okay?

Weird how the past couple days I struggled to write and now it’s all just pouring out, I’m sorry it’s such a mess of words. I still don’t know what to really say. My vision is still blurry but I’m fighting through it. I’m sorry the paper may be a little wet.

…I’m sorry.

Twelve times. Twelve times I’ve said those two words but nothing changes, nothing will change. I’ve come to that conclusion. Took me a while.

A long while.

It’s been two years or so since you left. Every night I have the same dream. And every time you’re always out of reach. Every single night I wonder “Would things have been different if I was there?” People kept telling me there’s no right answer to that.

Would you be alive right now if I had remembered just a little sooner?

Ah that’s right. I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it would matter if you knew since it wouldn't change anything, I’m sorry. Thirteen. I lost my memories. Pretty shitty thing for me to do right? I know. While you were suffering I didn’t even know you were a part of my life. While you died, I paid no mind because I didn’t know. You must be really mad at me. For forgetting so easily.

And then life rewards me my memories when I see your death mention in the papers. That’s pretty fucked up huh? Maybe I should’ve looked at the papers sooner.

Hey Ace, do you know now? Is it pretty up there where you are? Have you met your mom? She’s up there too right? I’m sure she is. If there is a Heaven I know you’re there. Regardless of what people say, what they may have called you, Heaven is where you belong. The image of an angel truly suits you, you know. Maybe you always were an angel, and god sent you down to me. Can I let you in on a little secret? Thanks to you, I was able to become who I am today. If I hadn’t met you that day you pulled me out of the Grey Terminal I probably would’ve been back in that castle, suffering. You changed my life for the better and I’m eternally grateful. And seeing as you brought it up first; I love you too. Always did. Even during my amnesiac years, I’m sure that part of me was still there. Loving you even if it didn’t remember you. Sad that we’re sharing such things now huh? It’s almost laughable. Yet not even a smile comes to my face right now… What am I saying? I’m sorry, I ramble a lot.

Fourteen.

It’s been almost two years since then Ace and the pain just gets worse. Does it ever go away? Did it ever go away for you? It’s like a nail is constantly being hammered into my chest. Some days they slam the hammer harder than others. Some days they slam it so hard I can barely breathe… I can cover it up better than before at least, can function in my daily life. Oh yeah—I’m a Revolutionary, have I told you that yet?

Do you think if this world was different, you would still be alive? I wonder.

Are these letters really supposed to help? The only thing it’s helping with is making the pain worse. Will you even read this? Maybe if I send it flying high enough, will it reach you? Or maybe you're watching me right now as I write it? If you are then well…

I miss you.

God I miss you so much.

It’s not fair. Why did you have to be the one to leave? My first friend, best friend, my partner, my brother, my… There are so many things I want to share with you. I want to see you again. See you smiling, laughing, angry—I just want to see you. Even if it’s just one more time.

Would it have been better if I had died that day? Would I be with you right now? I’ve had that thought so many times. And maybe I tried to join you…so many times.

But I’ve thought a lot. Luffy is still out there is he not? I can’t just leave our little brother like that. I’ve already fucked up enough as it is. Even if he hates me, pushes me away and never wants to see me again—I’ll protect him. I asked you to take care of him before, now it’s my turn.

By the way, I’ll be visiting you soon—no, not like that. Sadly. I’ve avoided doing it for a while because I didn’t want to believe it but I think it’s time now.

I’m sorry…that I can’t be with you, not yet. But you aren’t alone. I may not be next to you, but I’m always thinking of you. Every waking moment and every time I close my eyes. You’re there.

Fifteen.

We’ll meet again soon. There are just some things I have to take care of here first. It may sound a little selfish but please wait for me okay? Just a little longer.

         Sabo

[fabianbutler]

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[aggresivelyfriendly]

~Meet Me In The Hallway~ huge thanks to @emulateharry for the beta!! Chapter One-Terminal 

That was all I wanted to do. I just needed to pass through. That was the whole fucking point of a hallway, right? To get from point A to point B? It didn’t have to be damn metaphor for being stuck, being unable to move on.

 I was there, and I wanted to be, now I’m not and I can’t move to the next place, so I wait in a long lonely corridor and wish for yesterday.

Yesterday and Tuesday are gone with the wind though. And I was glad of it. It had been years since I’d seen his face, and frankly, that was better for me. It’s how I had gotten better. I’d even managed to avoid nearly anything and everything about him. That was easier out here. The east knew his name, but it was not the brightest nor the biggest.

It was almost like when we started. His star was ascending, but his name didn’t come with a trademark quite yet.

I’d toured with his openers, someone’s little sister cum make up artist. But I was actually good, and I didn’t mind being around a bunch of gross boys either. That was what I’d grown up with, and so my brother and his band and the biggest band, idiots all, brought me right in. Gave me a spot, a job, a family, a goddamn complex with all of their teasing.

Except for him, Harry. He had not immediately seen me as one of the boys, despite the jeans I hadn’t washed in many many moons, and the vans someone had puked on, and the t shirt I’d found on the floor of the bus between stops. I expected to be one of the boys, but he made me feel like the only girl.

It started in a hallway, but of course. I’d gotten kicked out, well, shoved out, by a groupie with a killer bod and a rep for head. The sock was on the door and I knew the rules. It was late, everyone was drunk, and I was homeless.

I sat down in the hallways and laid my head upon my knees and hoped I’d had enough beer to put me right to sleep. I had not.

I sat and played music, as loud as I dared, to drown out the sound of my brother getting off. Gross. But so fucking familiar. He was just old enough to be in charge of me and young enough to know better but not care. And we were close enough in age that it wasn’t that weird. Except it was always my friends. Let me tell you, the last thing you want to hear is your best mate screaming your brother’s name.

But the girl in the hotel room was far away from my mate, she’d looked at me like she couldn’t figure out where the fuck I came from and what I was doing hanging with baby rockstars.

“Who’s she?” She’d asked like I wasn’t able to hear as my brother pulled her into the room.

“My little sister.”

“Oh,” had been her disinterested reply as I’d been dumped in the hallway. Lovely.

It was an auspicious start. I should have known with a beginning like that, an end was inevitable.

Something started that night in the corridor. I think it all started for me that night. After our first hallway rendezvous, I gave Harry years of my life. Always meeting him in the hallway, sneaking into his sheets, and trying to work it out. It ended in a hallway too. He left me and I stood there hoping we could work it out for too long, years maybe. But then, I walked away, and I got better. Seeing him here, tonight, another sparse but posh place that wasn’t, felt like I’d walked into a time machine. Like I’d just left his bedroom. His hair was short, like it had been when I fell for him. I thought I had gotten up, but I know now I was still on the floor.

I watched him, his back was to me, but I could tell by the loop of his stride, the set of his shoulder, the occasional smack of his gum, that it was him. He has yet to see me. If he did he must have been disinterested. Apathy is the worst, I hate it more that hate.

Harry had never shown disinterest in me, though I guess he wasn’t interested right away, polite and kind I’d say. But busy and charming and rolling in girls. So, imagine my surprise when he fell for me. Though it would be lie to say I didn’t fall first.

“Hey,” I looked up at the voice while I sat wishing for my ear phones that first leg of tour. He was all mussed curls and bare torso dotted with nonsensical ink.

“Hey, Sorry, was the music too loud?” I picked up my phone and notched it down.

“Nah, I heard you get the boot. I waited to hear another door, then heard the music. Figured you could use a refuge.”

I smiled brilliantly at him. I’d had a crush from the first time I’d met him that had only grown in magnitude as I watched him navigate around the first arena we rocked up to. He was in a muscle t, riding a Segway, and later, I watched him when he wrestled and sloshed beer with the other rowdy boys, the same shirt had got stretched and see through and he’d caught me trying to read the words at his hip. He’d quirked a brow.

“What’s it say?” I’d asked.

“‘Might as well.’” He quoted

“Just fuck?” I finished and slapped my hands over my mouth. But he sneezed or laughed and wheezed before being pulled back into the joyful altercation.

I could definitely read the lyrics the night he invited me in. I’d say to his hotel room, but I got into so much more than that. His good graces, maybe then his good books, and at one point, I’d thought his heart.

He’d set me up with a beer and a controller and we’d played xbox until ridiculously late.

“You’re really good,” he bemoaned after I’d beaten him for the 14th time.

“Yeah,” I shrugged and tossed some more crisps into my mouth. “Boys play on the bus. There’s not much else to do. What aren’t you better?”

“I sleep a lot.”

“On the bus?” I pointed at the tv as I selected another round.

He nodded his delight and we started in again. “Pretty much anywhere I can. Our schedule is crazy. We’re always on planes, and I hate sleeping there. So, I sleep on the bus and whenever I can—”

“Why aren’t you asleep now?”

“Another part of the merry go round, I can’t sleep after shows for a while. I’m all wound up, so then I’m tired the next day, but we are often on a plane, where I can’t sleep, so I—”

“Sleep where you can when you. So you miss out on fifa?”

“Pretty much,” he dimples at me and I felt so happy he had opened his door.

We played for a while longer, until I caught him yawning and called him out for it. “Tired? Ready for bed?”

He looked sheepish, “Yeah, should sleep, Sorry.”

“No,” I got up and grabbed my trash, “I’ll go, just let me see if the damn sock is gone,”

I’d just gotten a glimpse that the sock was still very present on the door across the hall when he pulled me back. “No, you can crash here. I just meant I needed to lay down.”

“Mkay, I’m not to proud for the couch. Looks like it’s there or the floor out there,” I gestured. I kept talking, I couldn’t seem to stop my mouth. “This is a nice hotel, but the floor is still pretty grotty.”

He scratched the back of his neck and I catalogued the new tattoos the move revealed to me. I could see no relation between pieces or how they’d fit into a sleeve. Maybe after a few more nights of video games I’d get really brave and ask him.

He must have felt braver than me, “no, um….this isn’t a come on, k?”

He paused for my reaction but my 3 am brain was sluggish and I just stared until he continued.

“I figured you could sleep with me, just to sleep. I like a body next to me, but…” he trailed off and stared at his feet. The toe of his right sock had a hole near his big toe, I could see why, his nail needed a clip.

“But?” I prompted.

“I can’t sleep with the girls I hook up with, because who knows who will find out, and I can’t handle another segment on tmz. I’ve watched you around. You’re not a big talker. You listen a lot. I like that.” He smiled a little and I returned it.

“You listen a lot too,” I commented. “You pretend to be life of the party, but I catch you hovering round the edges all the time.”

He stubbed his foot down, “I like being around people, just gets tiring to be on all the time.”

“You can turn off with me.” I meant it and caught his hand as I said it.

“I know,” he said. “I can tell. Know you know some dirty shit about all of us, never hear about it from you. Think I can trust you. Not gonna have to confiscate your phone.”

“Well good luck there, babe, not relinquishing my phone. Only line I have home while I’m out trying to keep up with you ragamuffins and keep my stupid brother alive.”

He laughed and then yawned.

“Bed,?” I suggested.

“Bed.” He pulled me behind him. “You can have a shirt if you want?”

“No, I can sleep in this.” I went around him to the unpopulated side of the fluffy white bed and sat down to pull off my shoes and socks before I slid in under the covers.

“Not in the jeans,” he shook his head, “that’s so uncomfortable. I’m sleeping in my pants.”

“Feel free, your bed and all, but your ploy to see me in my knickers is going unmet, Styles,” my laugh was an attempt to cover my nerves. “cant, cuz im not wearing any.” I laughed.

“You’re not wearing any what? Any knickers?” He blushed.

“Nope, had to rush out this morning. Sans pantaloons I’m afraid.” I’d arranged myself under the blankets and was trying to look cool as a cucumber while he’d fish faced across from me.

Finally, he about faced on his heel and I wondered where he got to. He returned with a fresh pair of boxer briefs. “You still can’t sleep in jeans, be right un comfy, an I don’t want them rubbing on my legs.”

I don’t know where it came from, but I took the pants and met him cheek for cheek by standing and sliding my jeans down my legs and slipping his blue shorts over my hips.

“You’re gonna catch flies,” I quipped and slid back beneath the overs and shut the light.

And that was how I came to sleep with Harry Styles in his underwear most nights for years.