#i could never subscribe to just one definitive set of headcanons

[angelsdean]

oh I love being a lover of multitudes of headcanons !! different and conflicting headcanons co-existing. Like i want to entertain ALLL the scenarios !!! they can be compelling in different situations, different narratives !!!

[kaciidubs]

Camboy!SKZ Headcanons | Hyung Line

❣ Summary: What it would be like if the SKZ boys were camboys? An idea brought on by @onmykneesforchanlix ❣ ❣ Warnings: Camboy AU, kink discussion [daddy kink], sex toys ❣ ❣ Additional Tags: Slight crack energy, Chan is referred to as Chris, Changbin is a gym buff ❣ Maknae Line ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist ❣

Chris

His username would be something painfully simple, like cb97xx or xxWolfChanxx, he’s never escaping the early 2000’s username tropes, I’m sorry.

Started camming to save money for music tech, and he was gonna quit once he earned enough money but he slowly found himself getting hooked on the praise of thousands of unknown faces.

At first he didn’t show his face, keeping the content to shoulders and below, but one night he gets up to turn the stream off and they catch a glimpse of his lips and there’s a rapid fire of tips flooding in;

Would give anything to have those lips on me

What the fuck what the fuck??? Those lips?? So biteable??

Bubblegum pink, new favorite color

From then on, he kept his camera at an angle just high enough to keep his lips in frame.

Definitely finds himself pandering to the daddy kink side of the internet and ends up developing the kink for himself [this is a lie, he knows he’s had it since before the cam boy streams, but who really needs to know that?].

Loves when his fans comment on how good his hands look bc he doesn’t find them appealing himself, but if hundreds of people are begging him to choke them, how could he deny it?

Paints his nails by the recommendation of his subscribers each month, and it turns him on even more when he’s camming and jerking off with his freshly dried polish.

Wants to grow his community and isn’t shy about collaborations with other creators because baby boy is just a social butterfly - no matter if they’re clothed or naked in front of thousands.

Ultimately treats his lives like a genuine livestream, even if his dick is leaking precum in his fist.

Minho

First off; username is leeknowswho, convince me otherwise - man did not care about his username in the slightest

Only made an account to support his other streaming friend, quokkasungie

But when he saw the money he was raking in, he decided to throw his hat into the ring because “Getting off in front of a camera? How hard can it be?”

Spoiler alert - very.

Extremely, when you don’t even use a webcam.

The first few streams were experimental, a black screen with the subtle sound of him jerking off and breathing into the mic - that is, until he read out a chat asking for a description.

“What? So needy you can’t imagine it for yourself?”

Apparently the chatter liked that, and so did a grand number of people after that on his next stream.

Thus, the leeknowswho degradation corner was born, and it’s been a hit for two years and growing.

Constantly teases his viewers, toying with them that maybe one day he’ll turn on his camera, and even going as far as setting a donation goal for him to do so - but the limit is never reached since he often takes part of the money to donate to charities.

“You’d rather see my dick than an organization help get stray kittens off the streets? Yet I’m the fucked up one?”

Sometimes he goes live and doesn’t even jerk off, just doing an asmr stream teasing and degrading and toying with his fans, getting a kick out of the ones actively using his voice to get themselves off.

He’s a menace but the people love him.

Changbin

BinnieDwekki or Dwekkisgym, I really can’t decide but he definitely gives off cute username vibes.

Genuinely wanted to use the platform as a way to document his growth from working out, but of course using a camboy website probably wasn’t the way to go about it.

Has a whole room for his setup - though in reality it’s just his in-home workout room, but who really needs to know the truth - and takes pride in showing off his whole body.

He worked hard for those muscles, why wouldn’t he want to flex in every angle?!

Blushes at the chat messages where people say they want him to choke him with his biceps, or squeeze their head between his thighs until they pop like a watermelon.

Blushes even more at the chats praising his physique and wondering how someone with such a cute face could have such a killer body.

The first time he pulled his dick out on stream was when he was showcasing some of the workouts he does on the daily; the adrenaline and built up energy from his preworkout giving the chat a glorious reveal of the thick outline in his compression shorts.

Fuck choking me with your arms, choke me out on your cock

There wasn’t much left to the imagination, and with the addition of that chat message he figured that maybe taking care of the problem on stream wouldn’t be a bad idea.

And boy, was it the best decision he’d ever made.

If his fans weren’t on board for the strained grunts and breathless groans from him working out on camera, then they definitely were for the dick that looked just as beefy as he was.

His version of being a camboy is probably the most wholesome out there, ranging from motivational talks and advice moments [while shirtless, of course] to being stark naked and jacking off after a live workout session.

Hyunjin

Another one who signed up with intent - and hear me out.

He wanted to use the money to help get him into art school, but after seeing his first major check after the span of a few months, he figured he could get on well without it.

Username is princehhj, he knows how to pander to his features which helped him grow a fanbase like it was nothing.

Has been camboying the longest out of the hyung line.

He also has a set for his streams, but it’s just a corner of his art studio where he has a cozy little couch where he can stretch out on [in more ways than one].

His streams usually involve toys of various types; silicon grinders, fleshlights, buttplugs, dildos - his collection isn’t one to joke about, only using his hand got boring after the first week of streaming.

Most of the time he doesn’t even have to be doing anything explicit, simply sitting there with his pretty black hair tied back into a ponytail, a bottle of lube and a toy or two sitting right beside him is enough for the donations to come rolling in.

His favorite toy to use is his tenga egg - the stretchy plastic egg fits perfectly in his palm and doesn’t take too much concentration to use, which makes it easier for him to read his chat and reply as if he’s not touching himself.

Aside from the toys, however, he may also have one or two sets of lingerie that he brings out on milestone streams as a treat to the scream [and himself]. Nothing too wild, just your simple lace panty set and garters, and the chat goes wild for it.

Can you truly blame them though? He’s the prettiest prince out there.

❣ Any type of feedback is appreciated! Whether it be a simple like, reblog, or keyboard smash and the most essay-like comment, feel free to share your thoughts. ❣

[cuubism]

can't stop thinking about like. the shift in dream and hob's dynamic between pre- and post-fishbowl.

before dream got captured, he kind of had the upper hand in most of their meetings? he was the one setting them. the one watching, observing what hob did each century. the one with all the knowledge, the one who knew or learned everything about hob while hob never got to know anything about him. he was the powerful creature - being - devil? - god? (to hob's mind) while hob was just a man. etc.

and this does even out a bit over the centuries as they get more familiar with each other, as hob clearly gets more familiar with him and bolder with him (this starts to pop up more clearly in 1789, i think, he asks dream's name, he asks to get drinks later, and so on), but dream still ends up the one making final decisions over the meeting, and, in a sense, the relationship.

in 1889 hob flips the fucking table over.

in one statement: i think you're lonely, i think we're friends. suddenly it's hob who knows dream, who sees dream; suddenly dream's not there for idle curiosity, but out of some need; suddenly it feels like dream coming to hob instead of hob coming to dream. hob holds all the cards. hob's 'hosting' the meeting.

needless to say dream does not tolerate that very well. that shift in dynamic is summarily rejected.

the post-imprisonment meeting though...

by this point, any upper hand dream had in this dynamic (other than the basic knowledge of who he is) has been obliterated. he did this partially to himself by storming out in 1889 and setting up a situation where meeting hob again in any capacity was essentially admitting defeat on the 'we're friends' issue. then he's forced to miss the 1989 meeting (i'm still undecided on whether he would have gone or not if he hadn't been captured but as it stands the choice was made for him), setting him back even further with hob because now hob is, very definitively, the one who's arranging the meeting, the one who's hosting, the one who's waiting, and the only possible dynamic now is dream coming to hob. because they're friends. because he wants to. the 'experiment' is over, the illusion of distance has been dissolved and dream couldn't get it back if he tried.

dream goes to hob anyway.

knowing all of this, knowing he's forfeited pretty much all power in this dynamic, knowing he's admitting friendship, defeat, need, want, in doing so, knowing that for the first time hob could reject him, if he so wanted. still he goes, to hob's inn (if you subscribe to that headcanon), the place hob built for them, a declaration of his friendship and care that dream rejected last time they met. the absolute last thing dream needs after the incredibly shitty hundred years he's just had is to be berated for and called out on his past choices, but he goes anyway and puts hob in the position to do just that. and the flipped dynamic is so evident in the way hob is so established in the inn, waiting, while dream steps in slowly with almost a wariness in his step...

and he receives absolute grace and acceptance.

hob has the complete upper hand in that moment and he uses it for nothing but making dream feel safe and welcome. even his you're late comment is teasing and fond rather than critical. and the smile he gives dream, it's not exactly like the smile of meetings past, its not infatuated or charmed, it reads much more as like, i knew you'd come back. welcome home.

dream sits down and their relationship stops swinging back and forth and just clicks. into friendship. and equality.

where was i going with this? oh yeah just screaming eternally

[simplytheevebest]

Headcanon Time: Farah's Recovery (from the opinion of a non-doctor who did surface-level research and absolutely doesn't claim to know what she's talking about)

Considering how involved and concerned Terra was with Musa's magical recovery, I can only imagine how involved she'd be with Farah's. Musa gave up lost her magic but Farah was "dead" for an indeterminate amount of time(? I can't remember if it was said how long), came back as a force ghost trapped in a fern, and then had to recharge her magic and strength to regain her corporeal form (this is what happened, fight me canon).

But like, taking away the death-not-death magical aspect and just looking at a physical recovery, and setting aside that canonically Farah's body would've needed to be "regained" because I personally much prefer the headcanon that she rose from the grave, spirit and body intact, you can't just jump up from such a lengthy period of inactivity and be fine. It's been anywhere from a few months to a year since the events of season 1 (if season 1 took place during the winter semester and Rosalind took over for the spring semester it's been a few months; if we pick up during the new fall semester it's been about half a year). That's a long time not to be moving or working your brain (also depending on when she was found). Terra mentioned physical therapy for Musa concerning her wounds, and I personally know people who have had surgeries and recovered from horrible injuries and had to relearn how to walk, talk, eat, etc. So I definitely subscribe to the idea that Farah will need this too.

Combining my love of angsty realism and the magic of Fate, Farah has a long road of recovery ahead of her and she's never going to be just as she was before. Like even if you injure yourself in some smaller way, it can impact your health years into the future. I almost broke my toe over a decade ago and to this day it aches in the rain and humidity. Farah's likely already got scars from serving under Rosalind, which isn't going to help her recovery from literally dying either. So right out of the gate she's probably definitely going to have to regain motor function and she's highly likely to need to regain mental strength as well. And realistically there are other world doctors who would step in to properly assess but that sounds exhausting so instead, Ben and Terra are in charge of Farah's recovery and Terra is absolutely going to make sure Farah sticks to it because lord knows Farah won't be diligent. Yet she'll be impatient and frustrated at herself for not being able to walk short distances without her legs shaking or running out of breath, or being unable to pin up her hair because her arms can't support themselves. She might struggle to get her fingers to cooperate to write, or muddle words and phrases in her head and be unable to coherently express them. She won't be able to teach a class, or go on walks, or maybe even eat without assistance at first. She won't be able to do paperwork, or speak her thoughts clearly, or write down what she wants to say if she can't speak it.

There's a whole host of other things that could impact her: impaired motor function, nerve damage, brain damage, crush syndrome, respiratory issues, cardiac issues, seizures, numbness, organ failure, paralysis, etc. Like I've never been buried alive so I can't speak from experience nor do I know anyone that has, but just imagining, magic aside, that she was essentially in a coma underground for a week at least definitely means she's not coming out unscathed. And considering the magic would've saved her from the worst of it (the irreparable life-threatening complications like necrosis or organ failure) I still choose to believe she's going to have to relearn some skills and rebuild her strength because even if she remembers how to walk, she might not have the muscle strength to do so.

Which of course opens the door for so many angsty hurt/comfort fics (and I have read some excellent ones that are escaping me, forgive me) of the teens convincing Farah to take it easy on herself because they love and care about her, or Saul helping Farah with her hair after she tearfully concedes she needs the help. Because Farah is strong and proud and she won't want to admit weakness even when she has so many to support her. And sure, perhaps her recovery isn't that extensive, it depends on your interpretation of her injuries, but these are just a few examples of ways she could be impacted.

And then there's her magic. She's a mind fairy, so if her mind itself is healing there's no way she's going to have total control over her powers from the get-go. Which means intrusive thoughts and feelings of others in her head without being able to block them out, accidental projecting onto others, headaches, and that's just the mind. Farah is also a master of the other magics, so now we're considering random lights going on and off or exploding, liquids boiling over or freezing solid. Plants growing out of control, random flying objects from her haywire telekinesis. We had a glimpse into out of control magic when the Winx channeled it into the stone and forgot to cut it off. Farah is unfathomably more powerful than them, so her magic going off the cuff is problematic and potentially dangerous.

The magic is what's going to get to Farah the most, I think, because so much of her identity is rooted in being the powerful fairy she is, and especially because of Rosalind's influence. With her magic being so uncontrollable, she's going to suggest that the runic limiters be put on herself, and there's not a single person who will agree to that. Farah is going to have to practice what she preaches and be patient and kind with her own magic rehabilitation just as she is with her students. And I think Stella would be an excellent candidate for this, because she's benefited from Farah's teachings the most. And for all of s2's faults, I really did love and enjoy the character development with Stella because she really came into her own this season and demonstrated, to me, the kind of queen she will be, which according to her positive feelings towards Farah in the prequel, is likely very much influenced by Farah. So to have Stella directly involved in helping rehabilitate Farah's magic as Farah did for her is, I think, a great little parallel moment.

Again, I'm not a doctor, nor do I possess any reliable medical knowledge beyond my obsession with medical dramas, which is to say I have no clue what is and is not something that could be a side effect of being comatose and buried alive while also spreading your life force into the plants around you. But this is a show about fairies and magic so I'm allowing myself a bit of slack with accuracy here, because it's become my personal headcanon that Farah required physical, mental, and magical therapy after her nap and it was a long, slow process hindered by her own impatience and final confrontation with Rosalind, in which she was definitely not up to full power and probably would've died for real if, say, Bloom hadn't stepped in to vaporize Rosalind to save her headmistress. I'm just drawn to the idea of Farah's recovery having that ounce of realism that means she doesn't just wake up and go about like it's a normal day. Let her injuries be real and life changing as is the case for so many people, and let her have the support and love of others to rely on. No quick fix. But that's just me.

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Big Baby Sick Baby~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

@zuffer-weird-girl​  I def wanted to post this waaay earlier but I was just too beat to do it. I would like to contribute to the sick Kai headcanon pool asap lol)

One of the main reasons you weren’t having/adopting kids anytime soon was because sometimes you were stuck seemingly raising a grown man yourself. How unfortunate for Pops who asks you for grandkids on the daily! You’d need to put it on hold especially considering the fact that Kai was not as mature as he let off to be all the time. One of the times was now.

You stood with your hand on your side while the other held a bottle of semi thick, smooth liquid to be drank. You tapped your foot impatiently as he grumbled and looked up at you. “I’m not taking that stuff so you can piss off immediately.” He wasn’t usually this blunt with you...well not more than you’re already used to of course, but today was different. Today he was sick and by God it reflected on his expressions, appearance, and actions as well. He was sluggish, slow and bumbling. It was shocking to most men to see him make so many mistakes. On top of that, he had refused to eat or drink along with announcing a headache as well. His eyes were lackluster and held their share of baggage underneath, creating dark circles. Even his skin was noticeably more pale today. Anyone with eyes could see the Capo was sick but in case this wasn’t enough to see with eyes, you could hear it in the way he spoke with a rasp and by the various couching and sneezing fits as well. “Chisaki please, I’m begging you here.” You pleaded with him and he scoffed from his desk. He paused trying to do his work and look up at you with enough annoyance that you would’ve thought he was blaming you for this. “I’m fine damn it. I’m not sick, I can’t be sick. Look at all the precautions I take.” He waved his hands dramatically and you sighed. “Kai please...everyone here knows you’re sick. I can tell too. Not to be rude but you literally look like shit right now. Can you please just cooperate just this once? I’ll give you anything you want if you just come with me.” You tried to negotiate/bargain with him but he wasn’t having it. “And neglect my work? Absolutely not, kiss my ass.” This would be the equivalent of a child refusing bedtime. 

Well fine. If he was going to act like a child then you would have to treat him like one...

“Kai Chisaki if you don’t get your ass up and come with me to the surface I WILL TELL POPS.” He paused for a moment and thought this though. Pops would most definitely tell all the men to halt the business for today and send EVERYONE home. Pops may have passed the Hassaikai crown to him, but the old man was still behind the scene taking over from time to time after self proclaimed retirement. Pops would also be the one to come down to his office and grab him by the ear and literally yank him up to the surface. He sighed and slowly stood up, reluctance clear by the way he glared at you. “Fine.” He grumbled while shutting down his operations and calling it a day. You breathed a silent sigh in relief as he trailed behind you to the upper layer and to your bedroom. Once inside, he leaned against the door and watched as you prepared the bed for him. “Don’t just look at me, silly! Go on, go get in the shower. Drop this on the floor when you get in there, okay?” You reached into a plastic grocery bag and handed him a vapo-shower tablet packet. “When did you get this?” He asked with genuine curiosity. “Hmmm? Oh! I actually noticed you earlier this morning and how you were behaving. I went out to the store real quick and picked up some important stuff because I planned on getting you in here today. Now go shower.” You kissed his cheek and he complied. Once out of the shower, he dressed in his pajamas and laid on the bed where you prepared a spot for him. By now you had the lights off with the curtains and blinds closed. There were some dim nightlights glowing in their usual spot, and the humidifier was running as well. 

His tired eyes carefully watched you dig through the plastic bag and pull out various items: a thermometer with disposable sleeves/covers, chicken noddle soup, ginger ale, saltines, a set of three simple face towels, aloe infused fuzzy socks, and some unfrozen popsicles. Not to mention the liquid medicine sitting next to what looked like ibuprofen. “My angel, have you become my health care provider?” He pathetically flirted with you as you rolled your eyes. “Oh hush. Even if I did, you couldn’t be flirting with me like this in here anyway. Doctors can’t have relationships with patients...right?” He chuckled at your pondering and you looked down at him with a smile. “Enough of that haha. Let’s try this real quick, okay?” You reached for his lips with the thermometer and he complied. His temp wasn’t too bad. He was running a low grade fever but knowing how rare it is for Chisaki of all people to get sick, of course he would be feeling like dying at the moment. You started by pouring the grape flavored medicine onto a spoon and holding it towards. “No, I-” as soon as he opened his mouth to deny it, you shoved it inside and he was forced to swallow. His face afterward was priceless. “That tasted like absolute shit. Please never give it to me again or else.” He threated and you rolled your eyes. “Or else what? What can you do, huh? I don’t work for the medicine company that makes it. Now be quiet and take a few ibuprofen.” You smiled at him and handed him the pills. He swallowed them down dry before letting his head flop back down onto the pillow with a groan. He took a few long blinks when suddenly there was a comfy, cold, damp rag on his head forehead. He wiggled his toes and realized the socks were on his feet as well. His sleepy eyes scanned the room for you when suddenly the bedroom door opened. 

“Heeeey yoooou. You finally woke up.” You spoke softly as you entered the room with a tray. “W-what?” He was thoroughly confused but also disoriented from his little nap apparently. “Yeah you fell asleep for a little while so I went downstairs to prepare the food stuff I got you. I also went to get a bottle of water.” You rounded the bed to take a seat next to him. By now his hair was disheveled a tiny bit but he looked to be a little better. He would still need to hydrate and get plenty more rest, but for now he would need food. “I got saltines and chicken noodle soup since it would be more filling and also easier to keep down. The ginger ale should help with an upset tummy and look there. The popsicles are finally frozen and I got your favorite, the blue one. The coolness should help soothe you a bit.” He nodded and slowly sat up, moving the damp towel to the bedside table and holding the tray on his lap. He began eating and his eyes watered just a bit. “Kai what’s wrong, is the food not staying down? I can bring you the trashcan to puke in real quick!” You almost stood up but he stopped you just in time. “The food is just fine. I suppose I’m just extremely thankful to have you taking care of me like this. I’m grateful to you, and I love you my angel.” He looked up at you with such emotion in those eyes that you knew it to be nothing but the truth. “I love you too Kai. Finish your food and get some more rest so you can get better soon. Okay?” You wanted so badly to sneak another kiss on those cheeks but you knew the risk of couples getting sick and continuously passing it to each other. 

He finished his food and drinks before slowly laying back down and bundling himself in the soft blankets, sighing with glee. “Get well soon, love.” You stroked his hair gently until the sound of faint snoring could be heard.  

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNMJH7vHL7APNobUykhK4w?view_as=subscriber

[homeformyheart]

Hi I already love Nora with my entire heart and am requesting from dialogue prompts:

#19 “I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”

- ❤️ PD

from these dialogue prompts (always accepting)

ahhh thank you PD for indulging me <3

author’s note: thank you so much @wayhavenots for requesting this and for indulging my Nick x Nora headcanons. More of the backstory and context will be written up in a separate fic, so this fic takes place about six months of these two agreeing to give each other a real chance. I hope you all enjoy! *fyi, Nora is Nick’s LI in all of my MB universes, and Nick’s features will vary based on that, so feel free to self-insert or use one of my Nicks’ below :)

copyright: all characters, except the oc and oc button, are owned by jo o’connor @mindblindbard. series/pairing: mind blind – nick wiseman x f!oc (nora mcconnell) rating/warnings: 14+; swearing, minor angst, fluff based on/prompt: dialogue prompts // 19. “I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me.” (in bold) word count: 1.7k summary: six months into their relationship, nora freaks out when she finds out nick is falling in love with her.

permission

nick’s hand brushed nora’s as they walked side-by-side toward his house. he held his fingers near hers and looked at her imploringly, making sure that she knew he was giving her permission while giving her the space to set boundaries.

nora smiled and closed the gap between their hands, intertwining her fingers with his and inching closer. the instant their hands were flush, a simmering warmth bloomed from their joined fingers up her arm and passed through her chest.

happiness. joy. peace.

even below the surface.

she was getting better at recognizing and reading the emotions of others without skin contact. eight months working for unity gave her the opportunity to hone her skills and she could read surface-level emotions from up to two feet away and read deeper, repressed emotions with prolonged touching. she was reluctant at first, but rosy and adsila had demanded insisted that she be trained properly lest it distract her on the job.

throwing open the floodgates to all the emotions around her had been excruciatingly overwhelming. nick had ended up being a supportive presence throughout it all, helping her learn how to narrow her focus and practice differentiating between her emotions and his. they set boundaries, but he offered to be a lifeboat whenever she felt like she was drowning.

it still took her a long time to be convinced that he wanted something serious with her – that his playboy days were over.

he yanked her gently out of her reverie by pulling her close, his other hand coming up to her waist to hold her against him.

“what are you doing?” she asked, a laugh escaping her as she brought a hand to his chest and looked up at him.

“i’m just happy,” he said, his eyes sparkling with sincerity. “permission to kiss you?”

she nodded and nick leaned in to capture her lips with his.

nora didn’t think she’d ever get tired of the way nick kissed. each time was unique – sometimes soft and featherlight that made her want to chase, and other times so deep and consuming that she wanted to drown.

and these were perfectly in-between. his soft lips pressed lightly against hers in rapid succession, the pressure deepening incrementally once she matched his tempo in return. she started to smile into the kiss as she felt his hand tighten at her waist.

after a few moments, nick pulled back slightly to rest his forehead against hers. she could feel his emotions pulsing under her hands, a warm leggero of affection, happiness, and lo—no. not that.

anything but that.

panic started rising in her throat and she clenched her fingers where they rested on his chest, scrunching the fabric of his shirt. she needed to stop him from saying it anytime soon. it shouldn’t come as a surprise, but she had gotten comfortable with the idea that he’d never fall in love with her.

love came in a package deal with hurt and she refused to subscribe.

she didn’t need her powers to recognize that she was starting to spiral inwardly. but then she noticed that nick hadn’t moved or said anything.

maybe she was in the clear. she started to let out the breath she was holding, relief beginning to settle into her lungs.

“i think i’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me,” nick said quietly.

her body froze, the breath in her lungs trapping the relief that had started to seep in before, holding it hostage against her ribcage. she didn’t know how to process what he just said so she pulled her head back to look at him.

nora blinked rapidly to keep the tears in her eyes at bay. “i can’t—i mean, we can’t—”

“hey, hey, hey, it’s okay,” nick murmured, trying to pull her back into his arms. “i’m not expecting you to say you feel the same.”

she took a deep breath and forced herself to look up at him, pushing his arms away from her. the goosebumps on her arms punctuated how much she already missed his warmth. his eyes swirled with hurt, and she could feel his confusion.

“no, you don’t understand, nick. you can’t fall in love with me. i’m not—” she bit her lip. “i’m not someone who can love you the way you deserve. i’m sorry.”

nora turned and walked away as briskly as she could, wiping away the stray tears that slipped down her face. she headed toward the nearest metro station, digging around in her purse for her card. her fingers brushed against the off-brand kirby trinket hanging off her keychain and she pulled it out to look at it.

the features on the trinket did not look anything like the famous video game character. its eyes were too far apart, and its smile was definitely creepy. but nick found it hilarious and insisted on pretending it was kirby, attaching it to her keychain and checking for weeks afterward to make sure she kept it.

it was from one of their first dates and possibly, her favorite – he absolutely surprised her by not taking her to some fancy restaurant. and when she tried to call him out for the lack of originality in a navy pier date (since anyone who’s grown up in and lived in chicago for some time has been to navy pier at least a half dozen times), he simply responded that he wanted to show her more of who he was outside of being a ment and ucrt’s leader.

it was the most fun she’d had in a long time – and seeing nick genuinely enjoy himself brought out a side to her that she had long forgotten about. the side of her that wanted to let loose and be child-like for once. it helped that his ment abilities were useless against rigged carnival games – the great equalizer, she had teased him at the time as he tried (and failed) to win her a big prize.

off-brand kirby was the consolation prize and a perfect reminder of that night.

nick made her want to bring down her carefully and rigidly designed walls that she clung to after her dad abandoned her family. she had grown too comfortable behind the walls – they protected her time and again from getting hurt. after all, if she didn’t let anyone in, then they couldn’t leave her behind.

but she didn’t consider the fact that nick willingly let her in, and she may have just done more damage to him than he deserved by leaving things the way she did.

she clutched the keychain in her hand and walked right back to his house. she knew that he’d see her coming, but she still hoped that he’d answer the door. she steeled her nerves and knocked with three, quick raps on the door, nearly tapping nick’s chest as the door swung open after her third knock.

“what do you want?” nora cringed at the harsh tone of nick’s voice.

“you don’t have to forgive me. but you deserve an explanation,” she replied, fiddling with the keychain.

nick just stared at her for what felt like minutes, eyes darting to the keychain in her hands and back up to her face. nora wondered if she should just walk away. maybe it was too late to explain. after a few awkward moments, he turned and walked back toward the living room, leaving the door open.

nora took a deep breath and followed him, closing the door behind her and joining him on the opposite end of the couch.

“please know that the way i reacted didn’t have anything to do with you. i have a lot of baggage and you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t scare you. someone who is worth it in the end.”

“you don’t scare me, nora,” nick said quietly.

“but you said being in love with me scares you?”

“i’ve never been in love before. and i’m scared you’ll decide one day you need someone more mature or interesting or—” he took a deep breath. “i’m just so goddamn happy with you that i don’t want to lose that.”

the distance between them felt stifling. nora couldn’t read him beyond surface-level from this distance but it didn’t matter, the hurt and longing in his eyes said everything. she wanted to reach out to him so badly that her chest ached. but his arms remained folded over his chest, a visible signal that she needed to stay where she was.

he wasn’t giving her permission to come closer.

tears welled in nora’s eyes. “i’m terrified of losing you, nick. you run headfirst into dangerous situations and have this—this self-sacrificing nature that might get you killed one day. and then you’d be another person who’s left me behind.”

her voice dropped to a whisper as she stood up to leave. “i can’t go through that again. i’m sorry.”

nick finally looked up and made eye contact with her as he stood from the couch. “i won’t leave you and i’ll be more careful, i promise. i don’t want to lose you.”

he held out his arms toward her, eyes vulnerable and open. “permission to fall in love with you, nori?”

she almost chuckled at the nickname, reminiscent of a date night where they dissolved into giggles while attempting to make sushi. her heart leapt toward him before her body could react, but she followed the instinct and moved into his arms. she nodded against his forehead resting on hers, his arms wrapping around her lower back.

“only if you give me permission too, nicky,” she said softly, daring herself to look into his eyes.

she can tell he’s trying hard to be serious and not break out into an ear-to-ear grin, but a smile escaped him anyway. “yes, please.”

from these dialogue prompts (always accepting)

* * * * * taglist: @pearlsandsteel; @anotherbeingsworld; @sosolenoo; @mevnraels; @wayhavenots; (if you don’t want to be tagged for nick x oc, let me know!)

[countessofbiscuit]

What are your Bobasoka headcanons? I've already gone through all of the (criminally little) fic on ao3 and I especially loved Smothered and Covered, and I saw the majority of the fics in the tag were gifted to you so I'm assuming you're the OG shipper. Feel free to essay if you like!!

Thanks for the ask and kind words about that fic :3 

Oh, Bobasoka … where to begin? It’s a pairing that’s been bumping around in exchange requests for a few years — I figure it’d be easy for anyone invested in Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones to be compelled by the idea. Lledra used to draw Boba and Ahsoka interacting, and it was probably a few panels of their incredible Destinies comic that set my Bobasoka wheels turning. I’m also drawn to them because their journeys traverse so much canon; there’s not just a sandbox to play in, but a whole goddamn stretch of beach, stretching far out into the horizon ...  (#AhsokaLives #BobaSurvived :D)

I have to lead with the proviso that almost everything I write/daydream about/headcanon has a groundsheet of Rexsoka. Ahsoka’s interest in Boba, in my head, is intimately tied up with her attraction to and/or relationship with Rex — or, at the bare minimum, her intimate fellowship with the clones. She went through puberty (maybe with heats!) surrounded by a literal army of handsome, roughly college-aged dudes; that must’ve been a heady mix of heaven and hell. If she didn’t quench her thirst before war’s end and her (eventual) separation from Rex, she’d probably be pretty dehydrated when stumbling across Boba. As for Boba’s attraction to Ahsoka, well ... she’s very pretty, she’s potentially useful, she’s not likely to skewer him in his sleep (+2) on account of being a Jedi (-1), and now she’s the one down on her luck; if he falls in bed with anyone, why not this girl who isn’t afraid of him and stares a lot at his lips?                         

And Boba is like a hot shipping potato — satisfying, hard to fuck up, goes well (read: makes for an intriguing story) with almost everyone. And I think it has everything to do with his liminality, something he shares with Ahsoka and probably recognizes.          

Their neither-this-nor-that-ness overlap in such interesting ways, and they each bring their identity issues to the table — Ahsoka as an on-again, off-again Jedi; Boba as a clone who isn’t a Clone™, a Mandalorian by birth and bearing, but not by the book. At different points in their stories, they identify as different things, and that would affect their headspace and color their view of the other. They wrestle with themselves and each other. Force-user and bounty hunter; privileged topsider and orphaned juvenile delinquent fugitive; GAR commander and outcast clone; Jedi and Mandalorian; Disillusioned veteran and disaffected army brat; Rebellion agent and Imperial contractor.

And as much conflict is baked into these dynamics, it also generates a certain magnetism; and I believe they recognize, on some level, their shared trauma and the symmetry in their experiences. Boba and Ahsoka both have happy childhoods with very little to distress or vex them (beyond the art, I do not jive with Age of Republic: Jango Fett, a Disney-canon comic that not only doubles-down on the Jango-wasn’t-Mando nonsense, but shows him being rather cavalier about Boba’s life); Geonosis happens and their adolescent lives are dominated by war (which is how they came to actively threaten each other as space!secondary-schoolers — whaaaaatf!); they are both dubiously (even wrongfully) imprisoned; and they both suffer alienation and incredible personal loss.  

Boba was set apart from the clones before he was even pulled him from the jar, othered and elevated from the beginning. He never bonded with brothers, he does not identify as a clone. And while there are examples of clones making overtures to him, canonically his relationship with them is fraught and probably made worse when he gets banged up in Republic Central at the tender age of eleven or twelve — and of course, Ahsoka is an accessory to this, the second chapter in his tragedy at the hands of the Jedi. He needed help (whether he wanted it or not), it was not given by clones or Jedi alike (hamstrung by bureaucracy, sure, but surely some other means of intervention might have been lobbied for?), and Boba becomes a right teenage disaster, well-balanced only in the sense that he has a chip on both shoulders.

(n.b. Putting my RepComm hat on for a second, I can’t help but sniffle-laugh at the idea that the Alphas watched him get thrown in a maximum-security slammer and were like “Ah, there he is, the feral vod’ika. First time, we’ll let the little snot earn his stripes. Second time, we’ll bust him out and send him on a tough love retreat with A’den or Jaing.”)

Ahsoka, meanwhile, is part-and-parcel of the institutions that Boba sets himself against, even after she too has been cast out by circumstances beyond her control. She grows up in a supportive Jedi community and then spends some seriously formative years with a whole slew of brothers — brothers that should have been Boba’s! 

Boba, on the other hand, is a great example of the proverb that a child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. (As he tells Hondo, “Why should I help anybody? I’ve got no one.”) 

The resentment that must create! But also, later, the quiet empathy too — maybe when Boba’s having one of his better days and Ahsoka’s obviously not. 

And all of the above is interesting enough, without also touching upon the wildcard that is Mandalore.

Boba’s relationship with Mandalore .... well, that’s contested in- and out-of-universe and I won’t allow myself to essay overmuch. I subscribe firmly to a Mandalorian Fetts construction of canon, even though Boba must be someone who struggles mightily with Mandalorian identity. He’s raised by a bona fide Mando, a solicitous, loving father who’d have no reason not to pass on his language and beliefs; but at the same time, it takes that village, and when Boba’s clan of two is shattered, he has no one else. The loss of his dad unmoors him from his only anchor to Mandalorian culture and clan.

If Boba had been close to the Cuy’val Dar, one would think he’d have turned to them rather than fall in with Jango’s criminal acquaintances; or maybe the bounty hunters just scooped him up first, and troubled lil’ Boba was shepherded through bereavement by folks who enabled and encouraged him to externalize his anger in a way that gave him a (false) feeling of agency and strength. 

Whatever the reasons, Boba does not repatriate himself to Mandalore (much to Fenn Shysa’s melodramatic dismay). He strikes me as a lapsed Mandalorian; he doesn’t exactly follow the creed besides wearing the armor (scavenged? his dad’s sans helmet? canon is confused on this point, but he doesn’t go Mando until the unfinished arcs at the end of TCW, either for lack of stature, lack of armor, or lack of enthusiasm). I feel like if someone rocked up to Boba in a cantina and had the balls to ask “hey, so you a Mandalorian?” Boba would be like “<ominously slow helmet tilt> who’s asking” and never give you a straight answer.

Meanwhile, Ahsoka gets a crash course on Mandalore from none other than someone who, at one point, belonged to a sect that wanted to expunge Jaster’s legacy from the galaxy — and at the very least, had reason to dislike clones. This isn’t the place to explore my Boba/Bo-Katan feelings, but know that they are fathomless, and I would pay good money to be a fly on the wall of that Kom’rk when Bo-Katan gives Ahsoka Mando History 101 with her own special sauce. Ahsoka is probably more up-to-speed on Mandalore than Boba, and at one point, she may even own more beskar than him! (n.b. After the crash, I think one of the first places Rex and Ahsoka bounce is just inside Mando space, to scope out the Sundari situation and maybe try to scramble a signal to Bo-Katan; she’d have the goodwill to at least get them back on their feet if she can’t help them lay low herself. For a variety of reasons worth maybe ficcing down the line, they aren’t successful.)

I don’t really have a concluding statement except, I just think Bobasoka’s neat :) They hit all my depressed-Millennial buttons.

Headcanon by bullet-point isn’t really my style, but this is tumblr so ... tl;dr:

They recognize a lot in each other, even if they’re slow to admit it, if ever. Boba’s a cagey bastard and Ahsoka doesn’t ever like him enough to be emotionally honest.

They bump into each other during Ahsoka’s walkabout(s) ‘cause Coruscant’s Underworld ain’t big enough for the two of them. Without Slave-1, Boba couchsurfs at Nyx Okami’s garage, but he does his laundry at Rafa’s. He might even borrow the Martez’s new, useful friend for a job or two. 

Ahsoka eventually matures enough to be sensitive about her use of the Force on and around clones, and she definitely doesn’t use it around Boba. Definitely not during sex.

Boba is privately weirded out every time Ahsoka uses Mando slang she picked up off the clones or the Nite Owls.

Boba absolutely kills Cad Bane in that shoot-out, keeps the hat, and lets Ahsoka have it. She shoves it out the airlock and uses it for target practice. 

So many great smut flavours! Hatesex. Acquaintances with benefits. “You’re traumatized and touch-starved and you look just like him/them, and I know how to be gentle and what to do, so maybe we could … ?” They’re both privately comfortable with their bodies and sexuality, but Boba’s got trust issues a parsec long and Ahsoka’s lost confidence; it’s always an awkward affair, but desperation wins out.

They exchange comm codes every time they run into each other, which is kind of pointless because they both use burners.

Ahsoka hitches a ride on Slave-1 more than once. There really is only one bed, so it’s either sleep upright, sleep in a pokey prisoner hold, or sleep with him.

For a few years, Boba can pass as a last-generation clone — the ones that got sold off in bulk units to slavers before Kamino sunk another three years’ food, board, and training into them. Boba pretends he doesn’t notice, easy to really, since he tells himself his helmet is his face. But occasionally, when Ahsoka can convince him there’s profit in it, he agrees to play sleeper agent and assists in liberating a few here and there. 

They don’t talk about Aurra Sing.

When an Imp really crosses him, Boba passes on intel to Ahsoka to ruin their day.

Once, when they’re both super skint, Ahsoka volunteers to get handed in to some relatively minor and out-of-the-way Imperial garrison, so Boba can collect, bust her out, and split the pot with her. It’s the closest she ever comes to telling him “I trust you” — and when he brushes the idea aside, citing something about risk, it’s the closest he ever comes to telling her “I love you.”

Boba sees Inquisitors as muscling in on his game. There are so many lousy Force-users around nowadays, it should be easy pickings, but Inquisitors get privileged information. So he makes sport out of misdirecting them, especially from Ahsoka. 

When he pisses her off, Ahsoka fantasizes about Bo-Katan taking Boba down a peg or two while she watches :)))

Boba experienced Ahsoka’s heat once, secondhand through a cabin wall. He thought he was being clever by shooting Rex up with some Nevoota stim pollen, locking him in with Ahsoka, and hijacking their locked ships. Longest three days of his life, limping on broken hyperdrives and shared fuel stores to the nearest waystation to a soundtrack of violent lovemaking : \

Bounty hunters invariably bump into spies and agents because they work in the same areas. The agents pretend to be bounty hunters, eccentric business people, sex workers, or a range of other things. Sometimes each party knows all about the other, but it’s only polite not to mention it. This happens to Ahsoka and Boba A LOT, especially once she becomes Fulcrum; rebel cells and Imperials often want the same people. Occasionally they exchange fire. A couple times Boba gets imprisoned in Ahsoka’s own brig. Once, Boba blows her cover and definitely lives to regret it. 

(this essay was originally punctuated with pics, but replies with images won’t show up tumblr tags so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 

[silvokrent]

So since Tyrian's arrest screen didn't list everything he was wanted for, what else do you think he did? My brother thinks arson, I think more along the lines of torture.

It’d probably be easier to ask, “What crimes didn’t he commit?”

I think you’re both right. Arson and torture seem like equally valid possibilities, but they’d have to be the result of context and circumstance. On one hand, Tyrian always struck me as someone that’s adaptive, flexible, and capable of improvisation, which is why I doubt he’d be averse to either. On the other hand, Tyrian appears to have a modus operandi—speed and stealth. Like most Faunus, seeing in the dark (presumably with tapeta lucida, the eyeshine a lot of nocturnal and crepuscular animals have) affords him an advantage many of his victims lack. That, coupled with his stinger, sets him up by default for a very specific tactic: hit-and-run assassinations. Catch your target off-guard, deliver the killing blow, then melt back into the shadows before anyone’s the wiser. Fire lacks discretion, and torture involves prolonged interaction with the victim (which increases the odds of him getting caught, as time/duration would be proportionate to the risk of being discovered).

If a situation called for it (like setting a car on fire in order to distract pursuers), or he was contracted to complete a specific job (like torturing someone for information), then I could definitely see him committing arson and torture. But if he’s recreationally killing, then I think it’s more likely that he’d indulge in his preferred repertoire, envenomation and stabbing.

The nice thing about his criminal record being truncated (with a “see attachment for more details” appended to the file) with multiple redacted sections is that it leaves a lot of room for speculation. Bear in mind that much of this is either conjectural with little supporting evidence, or my personal headcanons.

One of the things that I found interesting about Tyrian’s character was his reverence of Salem. “Goddess” isn’t just an affectionate title or a term of endearment—he literally apotheosizes her. Compare that to how his teammates interact with her. While they treat her with respect, none of them use the same venerating language as Tyrian (“Your Grace,” “my lady,” “our divine savior,” “our goddess”). This tells us that his worship of her isn’t the norm amongst her followers, which also means that he has a reason for doing it.

Personally, I’ve never been a fan of labelling people who commit heinous crimes as crazy or insane—not only because it implicates nonviolent mentally ill and neurodivergent people, and scapegoats them for the actions of others—but because in this instance, it robs Tyrian of the complexity that comes with rationalizing one’s choices. Tyrian’s decision to deify Salem shouldn’t stem from some sort of psychopathology, but rather a logical, personal, or historical precedent.

Let’s reverse-engineer this thought process:

Tyrian worships Salem.

Salem (in Tyrian’s eyes) is the extreme embodiment, manifestation, or expression of cathartic violence.

Tyrian worships this form of violence.

And what else in RWBY’s universe embodies those traits?

The Creatures of Grimm.

So, with that in mind, let’s talk about all the illegal things Tyrian’s done over the course of his life, and more specifically, why.

Archotherolatry: This is a term I coined for my RWBY worldbuilding blog. If you break down the etymology, archotherian (Greek - ruling beast, the scientific term for Grimm) + -latry (Late Latin - worship of), it translates to “the worship of Grimm.” The practice was outlawed by the King of Vale (King Ozark) after the Great War. While the decision was rooted in common sense—like, you really don’t want people to see the Grimm as gods for fairly obvious reasons—Ozark had ulterior motives for outlawing it. You see, Ozark was one of Ozma’s incarnations, and the immediate predecessor of Ozpin. While archotherolatry had been falling out of favor over the last few centuries, it was still a religion with a presence in certain corners of Remnant. Salem used to recruit these cultists directly into her ranks. By making the practice illegal, Ozma was hoping to cut off a potential source of followers.

Prior to meeting Salem, Tyrian was one of the surviving few practitioners of the faith. Not only that, but he had a particular mania about it. Grimm worship in Remnant changed depending on where in the world you went, but one of the recurring practices involved human sacrifice. Now, while Tyrian didn’t subscribe to any specific holy doctrine and wasn’t a member of any secret groups, he did adhere to certain rites and ceremonies. He savored the taking of lives, but even more than that, he enjoyed offering up his victims to the Grimm. During the months that Pickerel spent hunting him down, his trails would often lead him to secluded areas outside cities or towns. There he’d often find a large ornately-detailed circle on the ground painted with blood, with the tattered corpse of the victim lying in the center. The surrounding trees and rocks would sport eye-like patterns drawn in blood, similar to the patterns seen on the bony white protrusions on a Grimm’s body.

When selecting potential victims, Tyrian didn’t discriminate. Gender, age, nationality, race, economic background—they all bleed red, so it didn’t matter. Not technically, anyway. That wasn’t to say he didn’t enjoy abducting business owners that were prejudiced against Faunus, or that he didn’t find ironic humor in sacrificing Huntsmen to the Grimm. He just wasn’t particularly choosy about who he sacrificed.

In a similar vein, I think this is how Salem first learned about Tyrian’s existence. Whenever her scouts or sentries returned to Evernight and reported in, they’d inform her about a man that would drag people into the woods and invite the Grimm to feast upon them. This possibility excited Salem for several reasons: not only was he predisposed to loyalty to her, but the fact that he’d clearly been doing these sacrifices for some time meant he was talented. It took a lot of skill to kill so many people without being caught by the authorities. She needed an assassin, and he would do perfectly.

When Tyrian wasn’t feeding people to the Grimm, he probably murdered for sport. He thrilled in the hunt, in the dizzying slick of blood beneath his fingers, the intoxicating coppery smell, the beautiful song of his victims as they cried, begged, and screamed. Acts of violence honor the Grimm, but in addition to that, he simply relished in the joy of killing. And he was good at it.

Of course, sacrificial manslaughter doesn’t pay the bills, so Tyrian had a day job. Well, I say “day job,” but it was more along the lines of contract killer/thief/kidnapper/smuggler. Tyrian operated largely out of Mistral’s criminal underworld, particularly in the capital (though depending on the work he was doing, he’d travel to Wind Path or Kuchinashi). Potential clients sought him out and hired him for any number of jobs: collect the debt that this person owes me and kill them if they refuse to pay; abduct the member of this rival syndicate and bring them to these coordinates; assassinate someone for me, and bring back proof that they’re dead; transport this contraband (weapons, drugs, Dust) and ensure the shipment arrives safely; kill these people and destroy the evidence; capture this person and extract information from them by whatever means necessary; follow this person without being detected, and collect information about their routine. Although Tyrian preferred jobs that involved bloodshed, he’d still accept contracts for more mundane work (even if he found it somewhat boring). Tyrian didn’t have a ton of dealbreakers in terms of jobs, though he refused to do anything that involved sexual assault. (Even serial killers have standards.)

Destruction of public and private property was likely an unintended or indirect consequence of his work. As much as Tyrian enjoyed wanton carnage, he prided himself on being stealthy and thus had to exercise some level of restraint, so as to not leave behind damning evidence in the form of collateral damage. Breaking a window or kicking in a door is a liability. Accidentally setting off a Dust explosion is a good way for the authorities to track you. That being said, there were a few memorable occasions where Tyrian absolutely wrecked shit up. Perhaps the most noteworthy of these was the day that he was finally captured by Atlesian and Mistrali law enforcement. On the day of his arrest, Tyrian caused nearly 50,000 lien’s worth of property damage, including the destruction of three Paladins.

Tyrian’s name, while spoken among the criminal element, was unknown to the public. Even so, he garnered a reputation as Anima’s most infamous serial killer. People often referred to him by his title: The Ghost in the Mist. (Years later, a documentary by the same name was released. It was an hour-long production that detailed his activity in Mistral, all of his victims, an analysis of his signature, and other relevant or interesting trivia. It even featured an interview with Pickerel, prior to his death. Tyrian absolutely loves this documentary and has re-watched it several times.)

I’m sure there’s more that he’s done that I can’t think of presently, but hopefully this gives you a general idea of all the criminal activity I think he’s committed.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Raphael and madzie!! please I will sell you my firstborn for some Raphael and madzie content. Like him babysitting and sleepovers and playing dress up and watching Disney movies together. Raphael wearing this tiara and him and madzie playing together. Baking and singing together, going on trips to the park together and Raphael just being so happy.-

-Like if you think about it they are technically cousins🤔 with the whole found family thing, Catarina and Magnus are siblings Raphael is Magnus’ son ergo madzie and Raphael are cousins but they still think of each other as siblings. Raphael is her big brother! Please🥺

ok anon i hope you know that you are literally my new favorite person in the whole wide world and this ask is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i will literally never shut the fuck up about raphael and madzie i will make this brotp a thing if it KILLS me just you watch

idk if id say they are technically cousins because i don’t know if catarina and magnus consider themselves siblings - definitely family for sure, but i get the feeling it’s more of a “generic” family feeling rather than a Specific Dynamic you know? but either way this is found family so it’s not like family tree/architecture is actually that stiff and matters that much, RAPHAEL IS MADZIE’S BIG BRO idc

and it’s literally canon that raphael is the best, most thoughtful, caring and dedicated older brother so like!!! honestly it’s what madzie deserves. she has a wonderful mom (two if you subscribe to dotarina raising madzie together <3) and underful uncles and a wonderful brother who is always on her side and would do anything for her, and that! is! fantastic! 

especially because like madzie is implied to be used to big families, since iris was going around making an army of warlocks basically lmao and like of course that was an abusive family dynamic but the point is that she was used to having siblings. but she was also implied to be the eldest and now she is the youngest! and she gets to have a nice big bro who takes care of her and plays with her and has her as a priority and i just 🥺🥺🥺

and god not to be a slut for raphael and rosa but i picture raphael just telling madzie all that he could about rosa?? you know??? he’s all like “you have an older sister too, you know? it’s a shame you never got to meet” and madzie kind of tilts her head and asks him to tell her about it. so raphael does. he sits down with her and shows her pictures of the both of them together from their childhood up until her death, and he tells her all the stories he possibly can. he says, “she would have loved you just as much as me. she always wanted to be someone’s older sister. said she wanted to take care of them like i take care of her” and madzie is all like “she sounds sweet. i wanted to know her, too” and raphael tears up slightly and he’s like “yeah. yeah. me too, cariño” and she hugs him

and like not to slut over this but i like to think that raphael teaches madzie about the monarch butterflies and día de los muertos and one day they are playing outside and a monarch lands on madzie?? and madzie calls it “rosa” and the butterfly is just flying over her head, alternating between her and raphael, for the whole afternoon? and raphael chokes up. fuck it all the legends are true, i love this alright

just like.... obviously raphael’s relationship with madzie is not some kind of substitute for his relationship with rosa, because madzie deserves better than that and no one can be rosa but rosa. raphael loves madzie for madzie, because she is sweet but fierce, extremely intelligent and with a playful/slightly mischievous (in a good way) side that is slowly blooming as time goes by and she heals from her abuse more and more. she is also good, endlessly caring, kind, compassionate, imaginative, affectionate. madzie is madzie and that’s all she needs to be. but the idea that raphael has someone to share rosa with, even if madzie obviously doesn’t feel about her the same way raphael did as they never met, but to bring her into this new family in a way... and let madzie knows that she also has another sibling looking out for her, even if from another plane... that’s nice and good food okay. and i think madzie would want to know about her, just like she tells raphael about her other siblings from when she lived with iris, even if they never got to be too close (cuz i doubt iris would risk letting them become very close and eventually realize her abuse and possibly rebel against her) 

maybe it’s madzie herself who brings it up, she asks raphael about the pictures in his home or about his “ave rosa” plaque 🥺 and he tells her about it and makes sure that she knows that he doesn’t love rosa more or less than he does madzie, just differently. they are both his little sisters no matter what

anyway! onto more rapha&madzie focused headcanons. first of all you are so correct about playing dress up and shit, raphael is a SIMP and a sucker for his lil sis so he absolutely will wear a tiara if she asks no questions asked. simon sees it one time and he doesn’t even consider making fun of him because raphael shoots him a glare that absolutely reads as “i double dare you, motherfucker”. not because uwu girly stuff just because he has this whole serious vibe and there he is with a tiara and tiny braids. we stan

also look i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, raphael absolutely learns how to handle black/kinky hair for madzie. he was used to doing rosa’s hair but that was very likely straight or just wavy hair. madzie’s hair texture is different and raphael makes it a point to learn everything he can about how to take care of it and make hairstyles that she might like and won’t hurt her, okay? and yes i know that madzie straightens her hair but i like to think that over time she stops. i kinda headcanon that one of the reasons she did it was to look closer to iris, plus just the fact that as a white abuser i doubt she exactly planted it on madzie to love her natural hair. but over time living with catarina and being closer to a mostly-poc family and seeing maia and other beautiful black women with their natural hair and/or afro hairstyles, she stops straightening it, and everyone encourages her, raphael included. he even uses that, like, “i’ve been learning how to do these hairstyles for you, you know” and he shows her some and she gets so excited about trying them and it’s great

(initially he has catarina’s supervision, because again black hair is important and even if raphael is a moc he’s still nonblack. but catarina trusts him and he’s always so careful and makes sure to always listen to what she says, asks questions and all but takes notes lmao, so it works) 

and baking!!! i mean look madzie is gonna be naturally prone to liking to bake, as a warlock and shit. and if regular kids already play with making potions, warlock kids are definitely even worse, especially because she does see catarina, dot, and magnus doing that all the time so it’s one of the things that she likes to mimick. and baking is basically potion making but edible and solid lmao. but like she loves it, mixing the batter, adding sprinkles, seeing as the textures change and the taste builds and stuff like that, you know? she’s definitely fascinated by it especially because she does it without magic and it’s just, wow, so cool to her?? and raphael as the cook that he is is more than happy to teach her, bake with her, and see her enthusiasm. raphael with oven mitts taking a batch of cookies out of the oven yall. i need a second

and like i absolutely subscribe to genius madzie because LOOK that girl is endlessly fucking smart and so intelligent especially for her age, not to mention powerful and observant and just, she’s brilliant. and with both catarina and magnus, huge nerd extraordinaires, and possibly maia because i like to pepper in the fact that maia and raphael are dating, she gets all the incentive she could possibly want to want to learn about both mundane science and magical theory

but in short like! raphael getting her those chemistry sets for kids, you know? where you have some recipes and you can mix up ingredients and they change color or otherwise change and shit? my friend had one of those when we were kids and my god i loved it so much, i was just fascinated. i think madzie definitely would love it, and raphael knows that she will, so he takes a whole day off for when he brings her this gift because he knows they will be playing all afternoon. and they do! she’s super excited about it and raphael as usual is all careful and teaching her how to do it properly without spilling and taking the measures appropriately and stuff. and it’s super sweet

initially they follow the recipes and raphael’s autistic ass is just delighted to do that, but madzie quickly starts doing some #improv, and again, because she is a genius, she quickly starts to figure out what each substance does. so she’s texting theories, trying out experimenting, seeing if she’s right, trying to asses her work? you know? basically literally a mini scientist using the scientific method and stuff and raphael is so proud of her and in awe of how smart she is and he tells her that she’s the smartest kid he’s ever met and kisses her forehead and she giggles and is just super excited?? 

also sometimes she asks raphael what he thinks and he’s just like “uhhh” because he has no idea lmao he’s just happy to see her do her thing and help her with the practical parts. and she giggles at him and she’s lowkey outraged but again, she’s just sweet and he loves her

i also 100% think it was madzie who figured out a potion to make raphael able to eat (oh look what is this fic that mentions that doing here) because FUCK mundane raphael all my homies hate mundane raphael, the heavenly fire made him a daylighter. and she could see how sad raphael was that he didn’t get to eat at all, especially because he clearly loved food and he always had this sort of longing when they were cooking together, you know? it also made her sad that he couldn’t try her cooking, and he was always telling her that to cook, you need to always taste what you’re making, and once she says “but you can’t do that” and he looked so sad she immediately felt bad about it, even if obviously it isn’t her fault

anyway my point is she knows how much this means for raphael and she wants him to be able to eat human food again, both for him and for herself. so she spends a long time studying vampire anatomy/digestive system, food properties, and magic, and she eventually figures out a potion that he can take before a meal that makes him able to eat. it goes slowly, initially he can only drink, but eventually she does figure out a way to make him eat anything and he just cries like a baby tbh. she is worried for a second but then he takes her in his arms and hugs her fiercely and peppers kisses on her face and says that this is one of the best things anyone’s ever done for him and that he’ll “forever be in her debt” or something that makes her laugh because raphael doesn’t owe her anything, he’s her brother. and he tears up all over again

of course that takes some years but they’re immortal so who cares. and catarina is SO proud of her little genius for that, too. raphael and maia include the potion as courtesy for any vampire who orders food at taki’s and share the recipe and it’s just a small revolution in the vampire world and madzie is already making history like hot damn. GENIUS MADZIE OKAY

but of course first and foremost she is a kid and deserves to be a kid, i just love her being naturally curious and interesting in researching and learning and stuff. but of course they also play a lot, and keep trying to out-cheat each other as she has magic and he has super abilities and the game becomes more seeing who can cheat the most and get away with it than anything else lol. and it’s its own brand of fun

also, raphael keeps trying to get madzie to eat healthy but the second he averts his eyes she’s like “abrakadabra this is now ice cream” and he’s SO frustrated. absolutely nothing can stop her from doing it. “if you eat these carrots i’ll buy you ice cream later”. guess what she can just turn it into ice cream now. your tactics are meaningless

also madzie playing dressing up! and she wants to be Stylish like her mom and her big bro and her uncle magnus but of course she’s a kid so her sense of style is essentially book magnus lmao but raphael 100% indulges her in all her endeavours and helps her make her outrageous outfits and shit. she likes colorful stuff as we’ve seen and he paints her nails and stuff. sometimes she makes herself mini suits mimicking or straight up matching raphael’s and raphael thinks it’s the cutest thing. especially when she like, imitates his blazer but keeps wearing a boa as well or something. aioudjsauihda i love kids and fashion can you tell

and she sometimes picks out clothes for him and guess what? raphael 100% wears them because it’s madzie and he is s o f t for her

and singing!!! and DANCING!!! there is no way raphael can’t dance no matter how hard he tries to pretend otherwise, and between him, dot, and magnus, madzie just loves to dance and becomes a great dancer in no time. raphael loves twirling her around. also him teaching her the jarabe tapatío you can’t tell me that she wouldn’t be all over that shit. the playing with the dress, the bright colors, dancing around the sombrero.... bitch she would love it. and they have so much fun doing their little improvised version of that and she claps and he has his hands behind his back and has the greatest smile on his face and she’s having so much fun

also raphael loves reading for her!!!! and eventually when they move away from reading books with pictures she starts creating her own “holograms” to illustrate the stories with magic, and raphael is so proud of her!! she’s just immensively creative and makes such beautiful illustrations for the stories and as raphael reads she changes around the setting she’s creating and it’s so fun and they both like it so much?? and she eventually falls asleep on his lap and he tucks her in and kisses her forehead and 🥺🥺

she also likes to paint and idk why but i have a feeling that raphael fucking sucks at painting, so that’s funny and he smiles and says that she has so much more talent than him... 

and every time they are together raphael has the hugest smile on, it just doesn’t leave his face for a second. especially when they are playing outside in the sun and he just so fucking happy and basking in the warmth and playing with her, you know? and as madzie grows older, talking and just chilling together as well? you know? he just loves her so much and his cheeks almost hurt by the end and just aaaaaaaaa they are the sibling dynamic we DESERVE and DEMAND 

[cerisol]

Gamer!Phoenix Headcanons Part 2

This part two focuses on the 7 year gap, not including the start of Apollo Justice. I think I’ll do more of a bulleted list this time, as I hope to eventually string all of these parts together into one fic lol. Also this is most definitely not going to be posted in chronological order because, why not haha.

Also this is literally just if phoenix wright had a lil gaming career on the side lol

Beanix

During the 7 year gap, Phoenix has much more time to stream due to getting disbarred.

He has to find a way to provide for Trucy after all, and the money that he used to make during college from streaming was pretty decent.

At first he had wanted to revitalize his old channel, but he decided that he needed a fresh start.

He creates his new channel, Beanix_, and resumes streaming on Twitch going by Beanix_ with the use of a voice modulator.

It’s hard to get publicity at first, but he reaches out to some of his old streaming friends through his old channel and they do a couple of collabs together so he can gain some followers/subscribers. He emphasizes to them that he does not want to be associated with his college channel.

Phoenix still takes time to take care of Trucy as well as his continue his investigation on Kristoph.

He streams a wide variety of content but mostly focuses on speedrunning, challenges, or competitive games, all sprinkled with tasteful commentary on how his life is going, advice, or any other topic that might arise in chat.

His streams tend to be pretty chill, but whenever he gets caught in a laughing fit, the chat goes wild, and honestly it’s what they come for.

After a couple of months have passed, a new name starts trending within various gaming communities.

Rumors arise about the mysterious streamer, Beanix_, that always seems to place very highly or even dominate the tournaments that they enter, regardless of the game.

No one has a clue about who Beanix_ actually is or what he looks like or even sounds like because he never shows his face and uses a voice modulator whenever he streams or is at competitions.

His account begins to amass new followers and subscribers who have become entranced by Phoenix’s online persona’s ability to seemingly win matches out of nowhere(The first Smash tournament he competed in, he got to the finals, which had a system of first to three wins. He lost the first two games but he pulled an insane turnabout, clutching three wins in a row).

He sets a poll up during one of his streams, asking viewers to pick the next game that he would play, and of course, they want Beanix_ to play poker, as there is no way that he could possibly win all of the time in a game that could have so much variation.

Phoenix accidentally signs up for a poker website that requires voice chat without any modifications to the input and already had made the deposit of money before realizing this.

Instead of having a voice reveal, he asks Trucy for her help and lets her be in charge of mic duty while he listens to the others and plays his heart out.

Surprisingly, he manages to win all of the games that he plays on the first stream. He climbs the ranks of the poker website and soon he is playing with extremely high stakes.

Occasionally he gets dms from those who want to see if his skills hold up in real life, offering him a prize if he can actually beat them.

Phoenix of course agrees to play against them, as money is money after all. Ge still maintains his anonymity though, and meets them to play at various bars around Los Angeles, with the Borscht Bowl Club being the epicenter of it all.

He still streams other challenges but he keeps a small win/loss counter about his poker games in the top right of the stream, taunting those who wish to try their luck.

He starts his Youtube channel and uploads compilations of him winning poker games, skillfully edited videos of his challenges, and the occasional speedrun world record video.

Beanix_ still manages to keep his 7 year win streak of both online and in-person poker.

At this point he has accumulated around 2.3 million subscribers on youtube as well as about 500,000 on Twitch.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank y’all for reading if you got here and stuff. This section ends just before the beginning of AA4.

[guilianafms]

            new  york’s  very  own  guiliana  rasananda  was  spotted  on  broadway  street  in  gucci  marmont  logo - embellished  leather  sandals  .  your  resemblance  to  lalisa  manoban  is  unreal  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  had  your  twenty  third  birthday  bash  .  while  living  in  nyc  ,  you’ve  been  labeled  as  being  doctrinaire  ,  but  also  pragmatic  .  i  guess  being  an  aquarius  explains  that .  three  things  that  would  paint  a  better  picture  of  you  would  be  the  lingering  scent  of  her  perfume  after  she’s  long  gone  ,  a  fenty  beauty  gloss  bomb  as  her  staple  to  any  makeup  look  ,  and  the  glitter  of  diamond  encrusted  jewelry  on  tanned  skin  .

            hello  ladies  ,  gents  ,  and  nonbinary  pals  !  my  name’s  jin  and  i’m  super  stoked  to  be  here  !  i’ve  seen  this  group  in  the  tags  over  the  years  ,  and  i  decided  that  it  was  high  time  for  me  to  slide  in  (  and  now  that  my  school’s  closed  ....  indefinitely  ....  i’ve  got  the  time  )  .  giuliana  is  fairly  new  so  i’m  still  working  out  some  kinks  that  may  arise  ,  but  i  have  a  pretty  good  idea  of  the  direction  i  want  her  to  go  in  !  i  can’t  believe  that  this  is  my  first  time  playing  lalisa  in  a  couple  of  years  ,  but  since  the  chance  arose  ,  i  decided  to  take  it  .  i  won’t  chat  too  much  ,  and  i  need  to  make  a  new  d.iscord  since  i  forgot  the  password  to  my  old  one  but  if  anyone  wants  to  plot  ,  feel  free  to  slide  into  my  dms  (  or  i’ll  slide  into  yours  !  )

basic  information  .

FULL  NAME  :  guiliana  kanya  rasananda  .

NICKNAME(S)  :  gigi  ,  lia  ,  liana  ,  ana  .

BIRTHDATE  +  AGE  :  february  12th  +  23  .

ZODIAC  :  aquarius  .

HOMETOWN  :  new  york  ,  ny  .

GENDER  :  cis  female  .

NATIONALITY  :  thai - american  .

ETHNICITY  :  thai  .

HEIGHT  :  5′6″  .

LABEL(S)  :  the  amaranth  ,  the  vixen  ,  the  trust  fund  baby  ,  and  the  princess  .

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  :  biromantic  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  :  bisexual  .

LANGUAGE(S)  SPOKEN  :  english  ,  thai  ,  japanese  ,  and  learning  spanish  .

OCCUPATION  :  socialite  ,  ‘  model  ’  ,  and  youtuber  /  social  media  influencer  .

POSITIVES  :  clear - headed  ,  assiduous  ,  self - reliant  ,  pragmatic  ,  and  cosmopolitan  .

NEGATIVES  :  disputatious  ,  exigent  ,  doctrinaire  ,  selfish  ,  and  unscrupulous  .

PLAYLIST  :  roxanne  /  arizona  zervas  ,  bad  guy  /  billie  eilish  ,  body  /  loud  luxury  ft.  brando  ,  nasa  /  ariana  grande  ,  mother’s  daughter  /  miley  cyrus  ,  sway  with  me  /  saweetie  w.  galxara  ,  say  so  /  doja  cat  ,  mad  at  me.  /  kiana  ledé  ,  apeshit  /  the  carters  ,  elastic  /  joey  purp  ,  watermelon  sugar  /  harry  styles  ,  ain’t  my  fault  /  zara  larsson  ,  lemon  /  n.e.r.d.  ft.  rihanna  /  nice  for  what  /  drake  ,  sugar  /  brockhampton  ,  icon  /  jaden  smith  ,  zimzalabim  /  red  velvet  ,  come  thru  /  joji  ,  in  my  head  /  ariana  grande  ,  broke  bitch  /  tiny  meat  gang  ,  honey  /  lay  ,  deserve  /  kris  wu  ft.  travis  scott  .

biography  .

let’s  see  if  we  can  keep  this  short  ,  am  i  right  ladies  ?

ratana  saelim  has  humble  beginnings  in  bangkok  .  her  parents  owned  a  small  restaurant  in  their  neighborhood  ,  and  they  lived  comfortably  ,  but ratana  still  had  to  work  hard  to  ensure  that  she  got  into  college  and  could  stay  in   college  .  she  often  did  her  homework  behind  the  counter  of  the  restaurant  ,  and  eventually  went  on  to  attend  bangkok  university  .

she  met  her  future  husband  at  bangkok  university  ,  a  fellow  student  named  kamnan  rasananda  .  he  was  studying  business  while  she  was  studying  law  .  in  contrast  to  ratana  ,  kamnan  grew  up  in  an  extremely  affluent  home  and  was  set  to  inherit  his  family’s  company  .  he  was  a  year  older  than  ratana  ,  and  the  two  got  married  after  her  graduation  with  her  master’s  degree  .  they  settled  in  bangkok  following  their  wedding  .

the  years  passed  ,  and  the  couple  established  themselves  in  their  respective  fields  .  kamnan  started  his  own  business  in  real  estate  and  construction  ,  so  they  decided  to  expand  out  of  asia  and  into  the  states  .  they  made  their  home  new  york  city  ,  and  settled  easily  into  a  multi - million  dollar  penthouse  on  the  upper  east  side  .  since  they  were  to  focused  on  their  careers  ,  it  wasn’t  until  they  reached  their  mid - thirties  when  they  had  their  first  and  only  child  ,  a  daughter  they  named  guiliana  .

guiliana  was  a  beautiful  little  baby  who  has  an  infectious  personality  while  growing  up  .  ratana  and  kamnan  may  have  been  busy  people  ,  but  they  never  had  an  issue  with  putting  work  on  pause  to  spend  time  with  their  daughter  .  the  couple  supported  their  daughter  in  everything  that  she  did  ,  and  that  even  included  when  she  turned  fourteen  and  decided  that  she  wanted  to  start  doing  youtube  videos  . 

going  through  high  school  ,  guiliana  had  been  a  member  of  the  photography  and  yearbook  clubs  ,  and  this  was  at  the  same  time  that  she  started  to  truly  focus  on  her  channel  .  of  course  ,  her  content  at  the  time  was  quite  cringy  (  shoutout  to  that  one  song  that  everyone  used  in  morning  routines  )  .  as  the  years  passed  ,  she  obtained  the  right  equipment  to  make  her  content  better  .

by  her  senior  year  of  high  school  ,  her  channel  grew  to  massive  numbers  .  she  dropped  the  makeup  videos  since  she  found  that  she  was  more  interested  in  fashion  than  makeup  ,  and  was  comfortable  with  sharing  her  personal  style  .  she  got  a  lot  of  backlash  because  she  grew  up  rich  and  people  often  felt  that  she  was  ‘  flaunting  ’  her  lifestyle  ,  but  really  ,  most  of  her  clothes  from  the  places  that  were  often  the  rage  at  the  time  (  urban  outfitters  ,  brandy  ,  etc  )  with  the  occasional  luxury  piece  like  a  purse  or  something  .

now  ,   she  isn’t  that  active  on  youtube  anymore  since  she’s  grown  into  more  of  a  socialite  ,  but  she’ll  still  do  weekly  vlogs  ,  catching  up  videos  ,  and  her  fashion  videos  .  despite  not  being  that  active  ,  her  channel  is  still  growing  and  has  now  amassed  five  million  subscribers  .

personality  .

guiliana  has  been  a  part  of  youtube  since  she  was  a  fourteen  year  old  ,  so  she’s  been  able  to  start  ignoring  the  haters  !  quite  honestly  has  the  most  idgaf  attitude  towards  people  who  have  anything  to  say  about  her  only  showing  luxury  outfits  and  such  on  her  channel  .  that’s  all  she  knows  since  she  grew  up  in  that  ,  but  quite  frankly  she  doesn’t  care  !

out  of  all  of  her  labels  ,  i’d  say  she  mostly  resonates  with  the  trust  fund  baby  .  outside  of  her  youtube  channel  ,  guiliana  doesn’t  do  much  other  than  spend  money  and  sleep  until  eleven  so  don’t  expect  her  to  be  out  there  making  businesswoman  moves  .

don’t  give  her  a  compliment  because  what’s  the  saying  ...  give  her  an  inch  and  she’ll  take  a  mile  ?  that’s  guiliana  to  a  T  !  she  knows  that  she’s  cute  and  her  parents  have  only  ever  praised  her  ,  so  she’s  got  something  of  an  over  inflated  ego  at  times  .  she  can  go  on  and  on  ,  so  please  tell  her  ass  to  shut  up  if  she  starts  taking  it too  far  !

headcanons  .

a  born  and  bred  new  yorker  ,  guiliana  doesn’t  possess  a  driver’s  license  .  she  gets  driven  around  in  a  bentley  bentayga  and  when  her  driver’s  not  available  ,  she  exclusively  uses  uber  black to  get  around  the  city  .

her  style  is  pretty  similar  to  lisa’s  where  one  day  she’s  exclusively  wearing  streetwear  ,  another  day  she’s  a  bit  more  feminine  ,  and  then  sometimes  she’s  wearing  pieces  straight  off  the  runway  !  when  it  comes  to  her  more  feminine  style  i  think  of  the  youtuber  kerina  wang  .

she’s  most  comfortable  when  she’s  in  her  apartment  .  usually  ,  she’s  only  wearing  a  lingerie  set  (  not  the  entire  thing  )  and  lounging  around  .  she’ll  throw  on  a  robe  or  something  to  answer  the  door  ,  so  just  call  her  ahead  of  time  .

i  can’t  make  up  my  mind  on  how  guiliana  usually  has  her  hair  (  since  lisa  switches  between  long  and  short  )  so  we’ll  just  say  that  she  gets  extensions  a  lot  !  currently  ,  i  love  her  long  brown  hair  so  click  for  reference  here  .

she  has  no  real  plans  for  the  future  ?  she’s  kinda  of  taking  it  day  by  day  and  enjoying  her  twenties  while  she  has  them  .  right  now  her  main  focus  is  her  instagram  and  her  youtube  ,  and  she  has  no  real  aspirations  to  do  anything  outside  of  that  at  the  moment  .

never  leaves  the  house  without  wearing  a  pair  of  heels  ?  even  when  it’s  cold  outside  ,  she’s  wearing  ankle  boots  with  a  heel  or  the  ever  elegant  over - the - knee  boots  .  

her  go - to  drink  from  starbucks  is  a  cold  brew  with  vanilla  sweet  cream  .  she  doesn’t  drink  coffee  with  sugar  .

wanted  connections  .

            i’ll  more  than  likely  end  up  reblogging  things  into  the  tag  i  made  for  these  ,  but  since  there’s  nothing  there  right  now  ,  i’ll  just  list  off  some  specifics  that  i’d  love  to  have  !  if  none  of  these  are  to  your  taste  ,  we  could  always  brainstorm  ,  work  off  chemistry  ,  or  let  me  know  if  there’s  something  that  you  think  guiliana  could  fill  !

i  might  end  up  sending  this  in  to  the  main  ,  but  i’d  love  to  have  the  fiancé  that  she  left  at  the  altar  !  truth  be  told  ,  i  kind  of  feel  as  though  she  may  have  done  it  simply  because  she  finally  realized  that  things  were  moving  too  fast  and  she  kinda  of  needed  to  pump  the  breaks  ?  she  definitely  didn’t  do  it  in  the  best  way  ,  but  it  could  be  an  interesting  relationship  /  dynamic  to  explore  .

she’s  been  in  new  york  since  forever  so  i  just  imagine  there  being  a  slew  of  connections  stemming  from  that  ?  friendships  ,  rivalries  ,  and  romantic  connections  !  idk  why  i  love  them  so  much  ,  but  i’d  really  love  for  her  to  have  an  ex  best  friend  .  we  can  determine  why  their  friendship  ended  ,  but  i  really  love  exploring  the  demise  of  relationships  .

my  brain  is  blanking  so  🤠  .

[madeleinesfm-blog]

             *  𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨  𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞  !  i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  (  and  actually  coming  back  ,  but  i  decided  to  change  my  alias  because  i’m  a  certified  child  )  ,  but  if  you’ve  been  here  since  opening  ,  then  you  once  probably  knew  me  as  kris  .  i  prefer  she  /  her  or  they  /  them  pronouns  ,  i’m  21+  ,  and  reside  in  the  est  timezone  .  nonetheless  ,  i  missed  six  and  i  decided  to  come  back  ,  but  this  time  with  my  woman  crush  everyday  ,  madeleine  kim  .  she’s  a  spoiled  brat  and  quite  literally  an  asshole  ,  so  please  bear  with  me  for  this  lengthy  intro  !  

            (  rosé  .  cis  female  .  she  /  her  .  twenty  four  )  omg  !  i  was  walking  yonge  street  downtown  ,  and  you’ll  never  guess  who  i  saw  .  madeleine  kim  !  i  just  saw  a  post  about  them  on  sixsecrets  !  i  think  it  said  something  like  ‘  madeleine  kim  gets  in  a  twitter  war  with  anti  -  fan  ,  and  we’re  living  for  her  clapbacks  !  ’  .  isn’t  that  wild  ?  i  guess  it  makes  sense  though  ,  since  they’re  apparently  contemptuous  and  loathsome  ,  but  i’ve  heard  they’re  also  unadulterated  and  companionable  .  i  mean  ,  it’s  not  like  i  know  them  personally  —  they’re  a  famous  heiress  and  youtuber  !  you  know  ,  i’ve  actually  heard  rumors  that  redacted  ,  but  they’re  just  rumors  ...  i  think  .  if  you  happen  to  run  into  them  ,  tell  them  i’m  their  biggest  fan  !

i.  statistics  .

NAME  :  madeleine  kim  .

NICKNAMES  :  mads  +  maddy  .

AGE  +  DATE  OF  BIRTH  :  24  +  june  19th  ,  1996  .

ASTROLOGICAL  SIGN  :  gemini  ,  gemini  sun  +  cancer  moon  .

MYERS - BRIGGS  PERSONALITY  TYPE  :  estp  .

MORAL  ALIGNMENT  :  neutral  evil  .

ENNEAGRAM  TYPE  :  the  observer  .

GENDER  +  PRONOUNS  :  cis  female  +  she  /  her  /  hers  .

PLACE  OF  BIRTH  :  ascot  ,  queensland  ,  australia  .

PLACE  OF  RESIDENCE  :  toronto  ,  ontario  ,  canada  +  click  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  :  bisexual  .

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  :  biromantic  .

OCCUPATION  :  social  media  influencer  ,  heiress  +  model  .

NATIONALITY  :  australian  .

ETHNICITY  :  korean  .

PINTEREST  :  click  .

ii.  biography  .

madeleine  kim  was  born  to  tae - min  and  min - ji  kim  during  the  summer  of  1996  in  sydney  ,  aus  .  tae - min  had  already  been  growing  a  fortune  as  he  was  one  of  the  top  real  estate  agents  within  the  city  of  ascot  .  min - ji  was  a  woman  who  wanted  everything  handed  to  her  ,  and  thus  ,  when  madeleine  was  two  her  parents  had  gotten  a  divorce  .  her  mother  went  off  to  marry  another  man  ,  and  she  hasn’t  seen  her  since  she  walked  out  with  her  louis  vuitton  suitcases  .

for  the  next  five  years  ,  tae - min  put  romance  on  the  back  burner  as  he  continued  to  build  his  real  estate  empire  .  eventually  ,  he  left  the  agency  he  was  working  with  to  open  his  own  ,  and  the  agency  was  an  instant  success  due  to  previous  clients  continuously  sending  their  referrals  to  him  .  the  agency  slowly  began  to  incorporate  custom  builds  into  their  system  ,  adding  on  to  the  empire  .

for  little  madeleine  ,   she  was  the  apple  of  her  father’s  eye  .  he  was  continuously  spoiling  her  and  getting  her  whatever  she  wanted  .  if  she  wanted  a  princess  themed  birthday  ,  then  she  was  getting  a  custom  made  dress  and  a  little  tiara  to  match  .  there  was  never  a  day  where  she  didn’t  get  everything  that  she  asked  for  ,  and  she  especially  would  always  clasp  her  hands  together  every  night  and  ask  to  not  have  a  new  mommy  .

sadly  ,  this  was  the  one  time  where  madeleine  didn’t  get  what  she  asked  for  as  she  was  soon  introduced  to  her  step - mother  ,  bo - ra  jeong  ,  when  she  was  thirteen  years  old  .  bo - ra  was  a  nasty  woman  ,  a  woman  who  didn’t  want  children  ,  and  believed  that  children  should  neither  be  seen  or  heard  .  although  madeleine  didn’t  know  her  biological  mother  ,  she  definitely  took  after  her  in  terms  of  personality  as  she  continuously  bumped  heads  with  her  step - mother  .  there  was  never  a  moment  where  the  two  weren’t  at  each  other’s  throats  ,  and  madeleine  was  especially  upset  with  her  father  for  never  taking  her  side  .

thus  ,  madeleine  became  an  angry  girl  who  took  all  of  her  frustrations  out  elsewhere  .  during  her  high  school  years  is  when  madeleine  made  her  youtube  channel  .  originally  ,  it  could  have  been  seen  as  a  place  where  she  ranted  out  her  frustrations  about  her  step - mother  ,  but  she  primarily  liked  the  aspect  of  doing  something  creative  .  for  the  first  year  ,  she  transitioned  out  of  ranting  lol  and  into  doing  things  she  actually  enjoyed  .  she  often  talked  about  clothing  ,  hair  ,  and  makeup  ,  but  the  subscriber  count  was  very  slow  .  

during  that  time  ,  madeleine  was  faking  being  ‘  relatable  ’  as  it  was  the  most  popular  way  to  grow  a  channel  ,  so  she  often  hid  the  designer  labels  in  her  bedroom  and  filmed  in  one  of  the  smaller  rooms  in  their  home  .  thanks  to  this  ,  her  subscriber  count  began  to  slow  ,  and  she  slowly  changed  back  to  her  actual  personality  where  she  began  to  show  off  the  things  she  or  her  father  purchased  for  her  .  

it  was  in  2014  when  madeleine  graduated  from  high  school  ,  and  her  step - mother  pushed  for  her  to  move  out  .  madeleine  was  annoyed  by  this  ,  but  with  her  channel  growing  ,  she  knew  that  she  was  able  to  do  so  .  not  only  that  ,  but  she  now  had  access  to  the  money  that  her  father  had  been  saving  for  years  ,  so  madeleine  left  and  decided  to  make  toronto  her  new  home  .

as  an  eighteen  year  old  moving  to  a  new  country  ,  madeleine  decided  that  she  would  document  the  journey  through  a  series  on  her  channel  ,  which  aided  in  the  boost  in  her  follower  count  .  she  showed  the  process  of  finding  an  apartment  ,  purchasing  furniture  and  moving  in  ,  which  led  to  a  lot  of  chaotic  vlogs  and  people  really  enjoyed  seeing  her  personality  shine  through  .

madeleine  has  now  been  living  in  toronto  for  the  last  six  years  ,  and  has  been  gaining  subscribers  slowly  but  surely  .  although  she  does  weekly  vlogs  ,  she  still  does  sit  down  videos  for  makeup  ,  fashion  ,  and  hair  .  

iii.  social  media  statistics  .

YOUTUBE  :  23.5m  subscribers  .

INSTAGRAM  :  21m  followers  .  

TWITTER  :  9.8m  followers  .

TIKTOK  :  3.2m  followers  .

iv.  temperament  .

she’s  a  bitch  and  that’s  that  on  that  OUYHUYOIU  .  she’s  very  blunt  and  doesn’t  find  a  reason  to  hold  her  tongue  because  how  the  hell  else  is  she  supposed  to  get  what  she  wants  .  of  course  ,  she’s  really  easy  to  get  along  with  but  it’s  also  equally  as  easy  to  get  on  her  bad  side  ,  so  she  can  turn  into  an  asshole  real  quick  .

madeleine  has  a  HUGE  superiority  complex  ,  and  it’s  so  ugly  !  she  doesn’t  outright  brag  because  she’s  really  not  that  bad  ,  but  it’s  not  unheard  of  her  to  make  little  subtle  remarks  in  reference  to  the  amount  of  money  her  family  has  .  to  put  it  simply  ,  madeleine  is  the  mean  friend  .

she’s  a  person  who  likes  to  challenge  almost  everything  ,  so  she  has  a  habit  of  coming  off  as  someone  who  creates  chaos  just  for  the  sake  of  it  .  she’s  definitely  not  a  stone  cold  bitch  by  any  means  ,  but  depending  on  certain  situations  she  can  sometimes  lack  sympathy  /  compassion  and  will  straight  up  tell  someone  to  ‘  get  over  it  ’  .   she  might  not  be  the  one  to  start  arguments  ,  but  she  will  finish  them  .

v.  headcanons  .

she  is  never  without  her  vlogging  camera  !  she  always  has  extra  batteries  in  her  purse  just  in  case  ,  so  she’s  ready  to  whip  out  her  camera  whenever  the  moment  calls  for  one  .

madeleine  is  a  pot  stirrer  and  she  wears  that  badge  with  pride  .  do  NOT  tell  her  a  secret  because  she  is  not  one  to  be  trusted  with  such  information  .  she  will  spill  the  beans  ,  tote  the  news  to  her  friends  (  especially  if  she  doesn’t  like  you  )  ,  and  be  hella  shady  .  she  will  literally  spill  your  tea  and  own  the  fact  that  she  did  .

her  hair  is  canon  to  rosé’s  as  she  was  a  strawberry  blonde  for  a  very  long  time  before  dying  it  with  a  silver  tone  with  blue  highlights  .  has  a  habit  of  always  touching  her  hair  and  forever  has  a  scrunchie  in  her  bag  because  she  can’t  live  without  them  .  

the  spare  bedroom  of  her  apartment  is  reserved  for  filming  ,  so  she  set  up  ‘  stations  ’  where  one  side  is  made  for  doing  makeup  videos  ,  another  is  used  for  fashion  /  standing  videos  ,  and  the  back  wall  is  where  she  films  sit  down  videos  .  she  mostly  loves  making  vlogs  ,  though  ,  and  she  does  weekly  videos  .

madeleine  is  calm  chaos  ,  which  is  the  best  way  to  explain  her  .  she  doesn’t  hold  her  tongue  (  per  her  headline  )  ,  and  she  doesn’t  really  hold  her  tongue  either  .  very  much  has  twitter  fingers  but  she  backs  it  up  .

vi.  wanted  connections  .

            my  favorite  part  aka  plots  !  i  find  rich  kids  rps  having  room  for  plenty  of  stuff  ,  so  if  none  of  this  works  or  if  there’s  something  else  you  want  to  do  ,  please  let  me  know  !  all  of  these  plots  are  open  to  female  ,  male  ,  and  non - binary  pals  ,  so  if  something  interests  you  as  well  please  yell  at  me  about  it  because  i  love  yelling  about  plots  NJFBHDBSJHDS  .  

give  me  an  ex - girlfriend  or  give  me  death  !  i’m  thinking  about  something  that  was  cute  and  soft  ,  someone  who  appeared  in  her  vlogs  a  lot  and  someone  who  her  subscribers  absolutely  adored  !  i’m  thinking  that  they  broke  up  on  relatively  mutual  /  good  terms  ,  so  they’ve  become  good  friends  since  their  break  up  !

due  to  her  personality  ,  i  wouldn’t  be  surprised  if  madeleine  found  herself  in  a  toxic  relationship  .  lots  of  back  and  forth  ,  lots  of  arguments  that  ended  in  them  quite  literally  kissing  and  making  up  ,  but  give  me  something  i’ll  dream  about  KNFDBSIFDS  .

i  don’t  really  have  a  label  for  this  one  ,  but  something  that  was  highly  disapproved  by  their  friends  /  inner  circle  ?  this  would  require  a  little  more  plotting  just  to  get  dynamics  down  ,  but  i’m  just  picturing  something  where  when  they  made  it  official  their  friends  were  like  ‘  why  would  you  date  them  ?  ’  so  there  was  probably  a  lot  of  moments  where  they  felt  like  it  was  them  against  the  world  but  i  think  it  could  be  an  interesting  dynamic  to  write  !

the  way  that  madeleine  has  enemies  is  sickening  !  i’m  looking  for  something  where  they  genuinely  hate  one  another  and  there’s  no  chance  of  them  EVER  becoming  friends  .  i  have  no  clue  as  to  why  they  wouldn’t  be  friends  ,  but  i  want  is  please  .

some  collaborators  !  people  who  show  up  on  her  igtv  reels  every  so  often  or  even  in  her  youtube  videos  (  in  videos  like  ‘  what  my  friend  wears  to  fashion  week  ’  or  even  general  vlogs  )  ,  and  they  go  on  little  adventures  with  one  another  !  i  just  think  it  could  be  something  cute  and  fun  !

[stvlti]

And so I leap, widowed at twenty-seven, From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven. WIDOW WIDOW WIDOW. I like this line 🍸

Pick a passage (500 words or less) from any fanfic I’ve written and I’ll give you a “DVD commentary”

rules of the ask game | my AO3

oh my god, okay. I really do appreciate you sending this in, I was hoping to get a serious one for this ask meme. but I have to be honest, I have pretty much not looked at that poem since I first wrote it back in 2015, so when I received this ask I was scratching my head asking myself what the fuck was even going on inside my head when I wrote that last line (“lest I too be shriven”) 5 years ago.  the subsequent guesswork + digging through multiple online dictionaries / articles it took for me to compile a response... *lies down*

it’s ok though, it was fun trying to piece it back together. so, without further ado: this is False-Eyed Doll, a Death Note poem.

CW: REFERENCES TO SUICIDE & CANON CHARACTER DEATHS

– also, spoilers ahead! turn back if you want to read the poem first –

So the lines you submitted are the last 2 lines of the poem, which was written as a derivative form of the Sonnet, making these 2 lines the final couplet of the Sonnet. 

Now the thing about Sonnets is, if you are following the Shakespearean format, the ‘turn’ (volta) occurs right before the final couplet, meaning this couplet is the ‘conclusion’ that follows the ‘twist’ of the poem’s narrative. 

Now He has Her slain; oh, will l remain Wilting in His wake, maddened by His maw?

Yet He by own pen dies, man who became Law. And so I leap, widowed at twenty-seven, From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven.

I wrote this poem as a ‘Misa poem’, and I meant for it to reappropriate certain canon events in Misa’s POV. So the poem’s narrative begins with the thesis of Misa being introduced to Light and his Kira world order (in stanza I), then sets up her relationship with Rem, her "guardian angel" Shinigami with differing opinions on Light (in stanza II) as the antithesis. The main thrust of the narrative concerns itself with Misa’s conflicting position between the two. However in spite of Rem’s warning, Misa chooses Light, because with the Kira crusade she has finally found a tentative foundation she could grow into and reestablish her footing in this world after her own tragedy (“in His embrace I shall rule again”). 

That was the trajectory of her life plans. So the ‘twist’, the turn, comes when not only Rem dies but Light, her new foundation, does too ("Yet He by own pen dies, man who became Law”). Of course, this is not a surprise for us the readers, since we know how the story ends in canon, but it’s a huge double whammy (heh, Wammy) to Misa. 

So then we arrive at the final couplet, which centres on Misa’s response to this ‘turn’ of events.

And so I leap

“So she leaps”, because this is the only logical conclusion she could come to after losing her “Law” and foundation. She sees no other future ahead with all her plans in ruins, so she climbs to the top of the investigation tower and chooses* death. (This line is a reference to the anime post-credits scene, where it’s implied she commits suicide.)

widowed at twenty-seven

Honestly I’m cringing a bit that the word choice, “widowed”, was what caught your eye. I’m not sure that’s my proudest detail in this poem 😬 I guess I was really leaning into the MisaxLight component there. There’s always been this underlying sense of commitment that Misa has projected onto Light in canon, from her wanting to start that kind of married, domestic life with Light during the Yotsuba arc, to her trying her hand at playing the stay-at-home housewife during the Light-as-L arc (albeit imperfectly) - there are so many aspects in her interactions with Light that simply screams marriage, at least from Misa’s POV. And on a meta level, she definitely promises her mind, body, and soul to Light’s Kira crusade, trading away her lifespan, altering herself to carry the Eyes for Light, and at the core of it, giving her heart over to Light completely. She has effectively married herself not just to Light, but to Kira, too. So to call Light’s death and the loss of everything that comes it a sort of “widowing” is simply the truth. It is Misa’s truth.

And I fought hard to keep the aged “twenty-seven” detail, because I always found it sort of fascinating that Misa qualifies for the 27 Club. She’s a star in the entertainment industry, at this point she’s amassed a successful mini empire with a career spanning modelling, fashion, cosmetics, TV acting, etc., and yet she’s gone too soon at just 27, because she chose* death to escape a tortured existence... (Just like many other legends have before her, who passed away from their own coping mechanisms in addiction and etc.) It’s definitely tragic, but there’s also a sort of dangerous romanticism that certain people associate Club 27 with, which unfortunately I think would be in line with Misa’s worldview too. 

(HUGE DISCLAIMER HERE, ok, I do not condone this sort of thinking! This poem is a persona poem! The views represented here do not represent my own. But it is in my opinion the sort of unhealthy ideas Misa would’ve believed in. )

But you know what though. Insisting to keep “widowed at twenty-seven” on this line had its consequences too, because then I had to find a word that rhymed for the last line, which brings us to...

From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven

Bro, this line gave me soooo much trouble trying to piece back together the thought process behind it. The front part is pretty self-explanatory, it’s a “made Heaven” because Kira’s empire is just made by one man claiming to be God. It’s an artificial Heaven, not a real one. But dang, “shriven”??? 

2015!me was being too clever for my own good. Forget all the wack shit I was shitposting in the fandom about, this is the thing that’s ultimately come back to bite me in the ass, isn’t it

Ok but we’re here now, and we gotta finish this ‘DVD commentary’, so let’s get into it. Obviously I was trying to keep up the whole motif of God and Heaven and religion, so I went looking for a word that would fit the theme. Except, to be completely honest, I was raised irreligious, so when I chose the word “shriven” I kinda just chose it because (1) it sounded cool; (2) it rhymes. I don’t have any emotional connection to the word and I certainly don’t have a nuanced grasp of its meaning, which, really bad form of me as a poet. I don’t do that anymore. (And it’s probably the reason why I kept this in the fandom corners and never shared it in class back then 😭 I was hoping I wouldn’t be quizzed on this lmaooo)

But what I do know, is that “shriven” means to confess and receive penance for one’s sins. And I was aiming for meta here - because there is the Catholic concept of punishment and repentance for one’s wrongdoings, but there is also the secular, judicial concept of punishment and reform for one’s crimes. And, okay, I was making some assumptions* here, i.e. even without her memories Misa could guess something happened to Light, and that something had to do with the Kira case. She’s a bottle blonde, but she’s not dumb dumb, so she could’ve reasonably made an educated guess. So then, “lest I too be shriven”: in a way, Misa is choosing* suicide in fear of being “shriven” by the criminal justice system much the same way they’ve done Light in. And even without the judicial component, she could (and logically, should) be wary of the general persecution and social stigma that comes with being involved in a high-profile criminal investigation like this. (Because it wasn’t just any other criminal, it was Kira, the world’s most wanted killer and mass-murderer, and there’s still plenty of people left in the world with a bone to pick with Kira’s ideology, methods, and many more left with a vendetta for the loved ones Kira has taken away from them.) So this line sets up a nice subtle dichotomy, one that flips the script, because now she’s not the one who passes ‘divine’ judgement, delivers punishments and ‘shrives’ the criminals by Kira’s side, now she’s ‘fallen from grace’ (so to speak) from their 'made Heaven’ and she’s the one running away from being delivered justice and penance.

Pretty cool, right? But honestly, if I had a chance to write this poem again I would not do this to myself ( T д T ) The cool rhyme scheme is not worth all this mental gymnastics just to get at the idea I was trying to communicate ( T _ T )

(*) Note: 

I kept talking about Misa “choosing” death, but the very idea itself is also a bit of an assumption on my part. Sure, at face value we have no reason to suspect it’s not an act she chose to commit of her volition. But, there’s also been talk about whether her choosing to commit suicide at 27 is simply a result of her shortened lifespan after her having traded her remaining years away twice. Like it was simply time’s up for her at 27, and she had to die one way or another. Another consideration is the fact that Ryuk has stated all users of Death Note are cursed with an unhappy life / end eventually. There’s no telling whether that’s another contributing factor to Misa’s suicide, too. But for this poem and the sake of its concentrated narrative focus, I’ve chosen to go with the interpretation that Misa chose to commit suicide of her own accord. That bit of commentary on “lest I too be shriven” also subscribes to the particular school of interpretations / headcanons that Misa possessed far more cognizance than we expect throughout the whole investigation and story of Death Note. Like I said, she’s a bottle blonde, but she’s not dumb dumb. I like the fanon that’s been gaining popularity in recent years, the idea that Misa is plenty capable and cunning for a normal civilian and young entrepreneur. She just seems dumb next to literal geniuses.

[livlepretre]

what do you imagine Tatia was like? I know Nina said that she played Tatia as sort of pure but idk

Oh, hell no! There’s no way she would be considering how Katherine and Elena are. 

Okay, so to get into this, I need to unpack a few things-- some is headcanon, some seems like reasonable supposition, and some flies in the face of the retcons we were handed later on in the show (Amara who? Never heard of her) 

First off, I think the doppelgangers are exact copies of each other, body, soul, and mind. There’s absolutely nothing about the flashbacks we’ve seen of Katherine, and the way Elena’s character was developed, to suggest that they’re not on completely parallel paths. I subscribe to the theory that the only differences in their personality comes from their lived life experiences; their nurturing differs, but they have the exact same nature. The major deviation point is actually Klaus’s murder of Katherine’s entire family-- from that moment on, Katherine has absolutely no one in the world left to care about, other than herself. We’ve seen how Elena always flirts with setting down this exact same path, especially after Jeremy dies in season 4, and how she can be just as much of a ruthless liar as Katherine. (my reasoning on them being the same metaphysically hinges on the nature of the sacrifice itself: the whole point in having a doppelganger was to replicate the act that created the vampires, with the same blood being used to free Klaus as was used in the initial dark ritual that bound him-- it stands to reason that this would only work if the identity of the girl were mirrored as well, down to the soul, so that an indistinguishable from the original was being sacrificed) 

So, what does this mean? I think all signs point to Tatia also having these inherent qualities-- like her descendants, she would be vivacious, caring, wonderful at reading people; also, capable of twisting people around her fingers to get what she wants; clever; resourceful; definitely polyamorous, as Elena and Katherine both repeatedly fall in love with multiple men at the same time; mischievous too. She must have been fascinating. 

I don’t at all buy this idea that Tatia was some pure naive girl. I think she was a single mother, living a hard life, but ambitious and witty and romantic enough to secure the devotion of at least two eligible men. The tragedy is what their parents did to her because of that. 

A few asides on this topic-- I don’t really put much stock in the Originals twist that Elijah actually killed Tatia later. Part of this rejection is that I also totally block out any memory of the Amara/Silas/they were the original doppelgangers storyline. For me, and for my fics, Tatia is the originator of the line. So, I stick with the original story handed us, that in order to turn their children into vampires, Klaus’s parents took the girl he and his brother loved, chosen for no particular reason except they needed a blood sacrifice and wanted to punish this girl for loving both of their sons, and they murdered her. 

So, if Tatia is the one who originally had the face, that would mean a few final things. I’ve always thought that the Petrova doppelgangers must have something really uncanny about their faces-- some supernatural allure that would make people notice them, be able to recognize them for what they are, even without ever having laid eyes on them before. (How else could Trevor have known that Katherine was the doppelganger if there wasn’t something... bewitching about her face?) Perhaps this only applies to them when they are mortal, because they become a different sort of supernatural entity if they transition into vampires. But, Katherine and Elena have always had a strong Helen of Troy quality to them. The face that launched a thousand ships. Tatia wouldn’t have had that. She would have been exquisitely beautiful (I mean, Nina Dobrev!) but not hauntingly, maddeningly so the way I imagine Katherine and Elena to appear. 

But, I think it’s the force of her personality that would haunt Klaus and Elijah a thousand years later. 

Hope that answers some things/made sense! 

[hanabiira]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES (??)/ NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES (as a captain, by default she should be considered strong. Whether or not people take that seriously is another question lol) / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / She’s an oc. lol.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES (but only in my head lol) / NO 

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES ( again, as a captain, she ought to be known by at least name, whether people acknowledge that is another thing as she is an OC) / NO

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — I’m a little bit of a stickler when it comes to following canon. I do it to the best of my ability and try not to bend the rules to much to the point where it may seem far fetched. As an OC, I’m inserting something made up and non-canon into something canon. For me, I want her to be as believable as possible. I want her to fit in with the rest of the characters and story without disrupting that original story too much. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  In canon, there’s no character quite like her in Bleach. Bleach has a surprising amount of rather diverse female characters, but I really liked the idea of having someone who was strong, at their top of the game but wielded an ability and set of skills that is classically “feminine”. Her love of flowers, gardening, and being soft and gentle doesn’t compromise her ability to lead or to fuck up your shit. She’s honed her skills so much she can turn the division into something of her own, much like Urahara did by turning the 12th into the research division (a specialization that remains even after his exile) and made a name for herself that is wholly unique. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  People may find her interests boring or on the surface, her avenues of interaction repetitive. Maybe they can’t see their character interacting with a captain or someone from the soul society. Maybe they find her bubbly and friendly personality boring to interact with, because they prefer dramatic or angst driven story lines. 

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  I’ve had Miki for a long ass time. Her original inspiration is shallow and embarrassing, so I’m going to pretend not to acknowledge it and simply say that I really wanted a shinigami that had a flower based zanpakuto. Like literal flowers, not just the aesthetic of flowers (like Byakuya). 

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  The people that I rp with frankly! I love my gorl, but it’s the other people I really write with that help bring her to life in a certain way. Oh no. My answer is just “the friends we made along the way” lmao. 

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. (I’ve written quite a few over the years, the longer i go on the rarer they tend to get) 

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES  (I like them, but I haven’t written any in a long time!) / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES-ISH / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I’m always open to constructive criticism. I think without it, it’s hard to grow as an artist/writer (I’m leaving this thought of Lainey’s bc I agree lol). But its one thing to come and bash when you are only scraping the surface level of someone’s portrayal. Like, you can’t come to me and offer “criticism” if you haven’t bothered to read all the information that’s available to my character. As for my writing in genral, I welcome it. I’ve never professed to be a strong writer, I actually never really liked writing when it came to school, it is not a flowing talent for me like it is for others. I know sometimes I can get stuck in loops or sound repetitive. Sometimes I sit there and I know the feeling I want to portray but just can’t come up with the right words. So really, if you know of a way to shake that up, tell me! 

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  Yes!! Though sometimes I feel brain dead and don’t know how to answer lol...but I do my best! 

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I mean, unless it’s something that blatantly goes against something in canon, since she’s my own character no one can really say shit. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — Tell them they can go if they don’t like it??  I understand that she will not be everyone’s cup of tea and can’t possibly hit everyone’s boxes with her but...if she doesn’t vibe with you I don’t need to hear it, you can just go and not interact with me, lol. 

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  Obviously, since she is a character of my own creation, I DO want people to like her. I also realize that not everyone is going to like her though, by virtue of people being people and her characterization. We all have preferences. If you really HATE HATE her I’d maybe like to know why..because that seems like a really strong emotion and naturally we are curious. If it’s like “I hate her bc you make titty jokes sometimes” then get outta here, lol 

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  — Yeah, please, just fix it for me if its in a reblog. I’m pretty good with grammar but sometimes I just miss stuff and don’t catch it before it goes to post. Do me a solid. 

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I”d like to think I am very easy going, but I also subscribe to the stupid idea that no one actually wants to talk to me, so I tend to keep to myself a lot and I find it hard to get really friendly with new people. I have my handful of people that I know I can say anything to, but it’s taken a long time to get there. But seriously, I don’t bite. I am a nice person. But also, don’t just come up to me and be like “whats up” and then when I respond you’re just like “cool” and nothing else. Fuck outta here with that. 

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @elxfi​ Tagging: Do this if you have an OC haha

[seize-the-sprace]

(Sprace) The Extra Chicken Deal

Pairing: sprace Summary: A special promotion at Race's favorite chicken joint prompts a more serious conversation. Word count: 1430 Read it on AO3 (Shoutout to @crystallizedtwilight for making up headcanons for Race's and Spot's jobs and first meeting so I didn't have to. You’re the best!)

“Oh my god, yes. Yes yes yes, I am so ready for this—”

“Race.”

“Hmm?” His mouth is already full of meat. Spot thinks he’s drooling.

“It’s chicken.”

“So?” Race says between chews. Half the meat is already off the drumstick, and Spot is sure he’ll watch the rest disappear in just a few short seconds. It fascinates him in a morbid sort of way, how much Race is enjoying today’s special promotion.

“So? You’re eating the chicken, not having sex with it.”

“Jealous, Spotty?” Race winks. Per Spot’s prediction, Race tears off the rest of the meat from the bone, which he discards immediately while his spare hand reaches for another piece.

“Honestly? A little. I don’t get it, didn’t they announce this beforehand?”

“If they did, I didn’t hear anything. It’s not like they have a newsletter.”

Spot raises an eyebrow. “If they did, would you subscribe?”

Race scoffs. “Of course. Especially for a deal like this. For a limited time only, buy two pieces, get one free!” He slowly waves his hand as he says it, as if tracing out an invisible headline between them. “And they’re geniuses for making it a surprise.”

“You don’t know it’s a surprise.”

“I know it’s limited time only.” Race waves his second chicken bone at Spot. “Gotta indulge while I can.”

Spot looks down at his own tray. He bought the standard two pieces—they’re big pieces, to be fair—but he won’t deny feeling a tiny rush of pleasure when the cashier double-checked his understanding: “You know you can get three, right? No charge.” He only moderately likes fried chicken, but it’s a good deal. Almost too good to be true.

Race, on the other hand, has ordered no fewer than three two-piece combos. Put another way, he has obtained nine pieces of chicken, so many that Spot can’t make out the placemat on his tray under the baskets. He’s almost certainly going to regret it, but in that Race-style “hashtag worth it” brag that will have Spot secretly smiling as he reaches for the antacids.

His curiosity is flagging. Spot picks up his chicken and takes a bite before it cools and he loses his nerve. It’s good, but…

“It’s nothing special,” he tells Race, who raises both eyebrows.

“You wanna try that again?”

“It’s fried chicken. How good is it supposed to be?”

Race sets down his chicken, and Spot knows he’s in for it—Race is going to need gestures for whatever he says next.

“Spot,” he says with a breathy sigh, “this goes beyond fried chicken. Imagine, if you will, the most comforting thing imaginable.”

Spot blinks when he realizes Race is actually pausing to let him come up with it. In bed with Race raining warm blankets nap flits through his head. He nods for Race to go on.

“Now imagine it in food form.”

“What if the thing I thought of was food?”

“Knowing you, it was probably protein powder, and thank god I’m here to save you from yourself.” Race winks at him as if to reassure him that he knows Spot is more complex than that. Spot never doubted that, but he still frowns minutely. He wonders if Race knows what he was actually thinking. He thinks he does, but now he's not sure.

Race takes the frown as an invitation to elaborate. “See, this ain’t the first time I’ve been here,” he says, gesturing around at the kitschy red and white décor of the joint. “I know you CUNY folk don’t hang out much with us NYU kids, but this is where we, and particularly I, spent a lot of really late nights. Sometimes to study, sometimes for wrap parties, sometimes just because we were too drunk to go home.”

“You, drunk?” Spot can’t help but smirk. Race is a bartender; it’s how they met, with Spot’s friends pushing him towards the beanpole whose smiles went a bit beyond good service. Spot’s seen him drunk, but nowhere near the plastered levels he hears about from Race’s circle of friends.

“Don’t you wonder where all the legends come from?” Race laughs along with him. “Yeah, the nights of my youth usually ended right here. Sometimes at this table.”

“So it’s not just the chicken, then.”

“No, it’s definitely partially the chicken. This stuff soaks up alcohol like a sponge, or at least drunk me thought so. Enough to get me down the subway steps, anyway.” Race shakes his head. “But also it tastes like home, you know?”

“Sounds like your arteries are already clogged with this stuff.”

“If this is how I go, it’s how I go.” Race flashes his boyfriend a grin and reaches for another piece of chicken. Spot watches him silently, thinking of how Race all but blew up his phone while he wrapped up his last client’s tattoo. Spot had kind of thought Race was in the hospital until he managed to check his messages and scroll through the texts consisting of nothing but exclamation points and excited emojis.

“Imagine,” says Race suddenly, as if the thought he’s been trying to express has finally popped up in his brain, “imagine that suddenly you could get more of something you already wanted. I mean, whatever the reason, happy memories or whatever, I love this stuff. I come here when I’m down or tired or stressed, and I always leave in a better mood because of this chicken. Why wouldn’t I want more when they’re giving it away for free?

He seems to have finished his thought, because he returns to his meal. Spot takes another bite too, but he’s lost in a different world from his boyfriend. There’s a half-formed thought rolling around in his head, something to do with fried chicken and happy memories and getting more of what you want.

Race’s near orgasmic groaning when he took his first bite of chicken was amusing, but also, in a weird way, Spot can empathize. He feels that blissful relief every day, but he doesn’t get it from food—he feels it when he comes home and Race is there. He doesn’t even have to be conscious. He can be sprawled out on the bed, drooling in his boxer shorts, and Spot will do nothing but drop his shoulders and crawl into bed beside him.

“Race,” he says. Maybe if he starts the sentence, he’ll figure out how to finish it. He’s a lot better at cheek kisses and completed chores than he is at actually voicing how Race makes him feel.

“Hmm?”

“I…” Damn it. “You’re my fried chicken.” Spot puts his head in his hand as soon as he says it.

Race sputters out a laugh. Spot looks up at him only to make sure he’s not choking. “Okay,” he says when he’s gotten the worst of the laughter out, “you know you have to elaborate on that one.”

“Never mind,” Spot grumbles.

“No, seriously.” To prove his sincerity, Race pushes his half-full tray to the side of the table and leans on his elbows. “Tell me about my deep-fried beauty.”

“I’m not saying you are fried chicken,” Spot says, still with his head in one hand. When Race doesn’t retort, he dares to look up. “I just…when you have a surprise night off, or. When I come home and you’re on the couch crying at Queer Eye. I like that as much as you like this stuff.” He gestures to the trays with the hand that was once holding his head. “And I’d…definitely take more if I could.”

Hesitantly, his eyes meet Race’s, hoping his boyfriend doesn’t think he’s gone insane for the metaphor. They’ve been dating for a year and a half now, and they’re well past love confessions. But every so often, Race deserves to hear him repeat it in words, even if they’re not exactly the ones he means to say.

Fortunately, Race seems to understand what he’s trying to say. Under the table, his leg extends to rub against Spot’s ankle. Above it, Race’s smile has turned gentle and a bit proud.

“Yeah, well,” he says, “maybe one of these days we can put that option on the table. More of what we already want, and all.”

Spot is still for a second. Then his shoulders jolt in a sudden laugh, and he examines Race to confirm he’s hearing right.

“Make it good, Conlon,” Race says teasingly. He leans back against the booth, but his ankle hasn’t left Spot’s. “I ain’t gonna be proposed to in a chicken joint.”