#angel cas endgame human cas endgame somewhere in between

[angelsdean]

oh I love being a lover of multitudes of headcanons !! different and conflicting headcanons co-existing. Like i want to entertain ALLL the scenarios !!! they can be compelling in different situations, different narratives !!!

[naruhearts]

I’m done keeping my composure.

Sorry, this will be a LOADED post! (And I’ll be repeating the points others have made)

for real, to everyone being nasty and telling heartbroken fans that “Dean was always supposed to die get a grip you’re just butthurt etcetera etcetera—” F you royally.

How dare you police the brutal feelings that’s been embroiling us since the Finale That Must Not Be Named aired. 

The show you think you all watched, the show you all believe was the same SPN from Season 1-4, changed at some point. Kripke wrote his original vision, put it to screen, saw it through in S5 as he intended, and closed the door on that era.

In 2008, Supernatural was adopted and inherited. As you know, there was a supreme paradigm shift post-Kripke era. The show FLOURISHED (we won’t talk about Gamble thanks). It evolved, transformed, grew beyond trauma-induced self-worthlessness and toxic masculinity and endless death and hegemonic social ideals and conservatism and repressive anti-revolutionary ideas. Castiel, the iconic favourite and beloved staple of the series portrayed by Misha Collins, was introduced in Season 4 as the core lead character, and he ushered in a brand new era of Christian mythos that SPN took advantage of. Longevity SKYROCKETED. Audiences were INTERESTED. SPN amassed an incredibly groundbreaking fanbase infused by non-nuclear principles. A massive subversive wave began, fighting the Status Quo of the times since 2008. It’s precisely why such an abysmal ending to a show of extensive Freud-Jungian metanarratively meta META complex stature and social POWER will render us totally and unbearably broken for years to come.

Point is, DEAN WINCHESTER NO LONGER WANTED TO DIE. HE WANTED TO LIVE. HE WANTED TO SIT ON THE BEACH, PLUNGE HIS TOES IN THE SAND, AND SIP UMBRELLA DRINKS WITH HIS BROTHER AND HIS BEST FRIEND. He said this in Season 13. And then, a season later, he told the ghost of his long-deceased father — the source of his deep-running trauma and the figure of self-reductive authoritarianism permeating his arc since Season 1 — after being questioned why he didn’t pursue the Nuclear Fam, that he already has his own: his brother Sam, his adopted child Jack, and Cas.

Dean’s best friend Cas. Oh god, Cas, who made his inevitably permanent mark on Dean’s soul beyond allyship. Castiel, renamed to Cas, God’s -iel removed by Dean. Dean, the human spark that lit the fire of pre-existing autonomy in the inherently rebellious angel who was, this entire time, the catalyst for free will in God The Writer’s puppet show. Their friendship set on goddamn fire. I can also write paragraph upon paragraph about my love for Cas while devastated tears stream down my face, but I digress—

Cas’ romantic love for Dean pushed our main Heart of SPN to love himself. Love is free will. Free will is also love. Of note, Cas’ love confession in 15x18 was supposed to offset something so vastly important and fundamental...to maybe (read: most likely) pull the trigger on SELF-TRUTHS in conjunction with free will. And The Great Anticipated Follow-Up to the episode penned by the passionate Berens should have included (read: seemed like it was going to be) Dean, closeted trauma survivor in love with his best friend, being given the opportunity to do it right: to SPEAK HIS TRUTH, and then that very singular opportunity was STOLEN so grossly. After poring over it for days, I refuse to believe we made their years-long story up out of thin air, spun it out of fantastical-delusional dream cotton candy, because we DIDN’T. IT WAS REAL.

As I said in another post: “I’ve just been feeling physically ill for the past >40 something hours with the terrible knowledge that 19/20 undid years of vital progression towards healthy interdependence, autonomy, and a positive endgame, where Sam, Dean and Cas close the ring of found family in final empowering self-fulfillment...where Dean, no longer repressed and set free, is able to use his words and speak his truth as a queercoded trauma survivor, henceforth confirming and self-affirming his own bisexuality since S1 by reciprocating ��� by telling Cas that he always loved him, too, loved him endlessly, which would have altogether divested Supernatural of its cult status and catapulted it into global worldwide significance as the longest running sci-fi genre show in American broadcasting history that actually dared to defy and, by proxy, empower LGBTQ2IA+ everywhere who found profound personal meaning in Destiel through VALIDATION,” — found themselves mirrored in Dean and Cas’ respective character journeys individually and as each other’s queer love interests.

THIS IS WHY DEAN WASN’T MEANT TO DIE.

THEY WERE SO ESSENTIAL, NOT JUST TO THE OVERARCHING STORY AND HEALTHY INTERPERSONAL THEMATICS OF MODERN SPN, BUT ALSO TO THE SOULS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD WHO FOLLOWED THEIR JOURNEYS, HOPED FOR THEM, ASPIRED TO BE LIKE THEM, TREASURED THEM, WEEPED FOR THEM, AND FOUGHT FOR THEM, LIKE YOU AND ME.

Heck, how could anyone think Sam Winchester had a well-deserved characteristic ending? He didn’t. Dean’s brother was shafted so badly. He stopped hunting when seasons ago, he had canonically accepted that he no longer wanted an apple pie life. He simply...turned the lights off in a resoundingly empty bunker and left — abandoning his dead brother’s room — never to return (he did return later to get the Impala, family photos etc, I mean this symbolically)...as if — dare I say it — Supernatural itself eerily told us, in the negative-spaced pitch blackness, that the organic show and the wonderfully complex, matured characters we’ve grown to love weren’t going to survive or be revisited...that it was all going to perish, and that they no longer gave a single shit about their own show, which, to me, is the worst cardinal sin, because how dare they throw Team Free Will, an immovable and indomitable and passionate found family they built from the ground up, a found family CHOCK FULL TO THE BRIM OF LOVE AND LIFE RAGING AGAINST THE AUTHORITARIAN MACHINE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE FREE WILL, under the bus no matter who is to blame. Growth was stomped on.

Then Sam married a faceless wife who wasn’t his textually established (and deaf) love interest Eileen, named his son Dean Jr., and grew old miserably, still mourning the passing of his older brother, shaken and sombre. Back to square one. IT WAS ALL ANTITHETICAL, even OUTSIDE a shipping context, and I ripped my hair out at this point in sheer disbelief.

This 15x20 ending would have fit somewhere between S4-7. Now? IT DOESN’T FIT. IT’S A JAGGED PUZZLE PIECE THAT DOESN’T BELONG ANYWHERE. IT’S THE FOREBODING UNKNOWN STRANGER IN ITS OWN LAND, BOTH LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY. This kind of ending was basically an illogical, unsound cluster of metastasized cells that, to me, ruined the viability of previous seasons to sustain bold praise and respect and dignity and rewatches and classic nostalgia in such insidious ways.

Dean Humanity Winchester and Cas, after everything they’ve been through, were silenced and lost in death, ripped apart from each other, unable to love each other the way they deserved, because of disappointing, vile incompetency and homophobia. The greatest love story ever told, again obliterated in less than 60 hollow minutes.

You know what this tells your audience, CW SPN? Death without self-growth is the way to go, and no one is allowed to forge their own path to freedom.

HOW INSULTINGLY HARMFUL IS THAT?

I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving.

We all deserve answers.

[rotomcity]

complicated feelings about cas endgames tonight. I tend to prefer cas staying an angel endgame to human cas endgame, but that’s partially because cas as he is isn’t fully an angel? hes Somewhere between human and angel. it’s why he can relate to his son. I just feel like a fully human cas endgame negates the very interesting middle ground he sits in

[hawkland]

Dear Fandom5k Author

My AO3 account (sidewinder)

Hello and thank you for writing for me! I’m excited to give this exchange a try for the first time and cannot wait to read what you can come up with for one of my requests. Please note I’d love any of them equally, no matter if I have more prompt ideas for one or the other. Some I seriously would love just about anything about since they are so rare, others I have more specific requests to scratch itches I haven’t seen written before (or that much.)

General Likes:

Soumates with a twist. I love soulmate/soulbond AUs, as long as it’s just not a shortcut to happily-ever, no-conflict fluff. I want there to be some difficulties or angst involved. For instance, I’d love seeing any fusion/inspired-by fics based off the concept of the AMC Soumates series - where there’s a newly-developed scientific test a person can choose to take to find their soulmate (if the other person out there has also taken the test). That way it’s a choice to find out or not. Would an already established couple want to take the test to find out if they’re really “meant” to be together or not? What if they find out other people are their “soulmates”? What about the possibility of platonic soulmates vs romantic? Discussions for the future if/when one partner dies before the other? I’d love to see these questions played out with one of my fave ships in either a  happy or somewhat angsty/dark way.

Vacation/travel stories. Being unable to travel this past year+ thanks to covid-19 has me desperate to explore and live vicariously through my favorite characters! So I’d love a story involving travel to somewhere new (to them). It could be a romantic getaway/honeymoon trip to somewhere special - and I love it when an author “takes me” to a favorite city/place of their own. Or two friends just going on an escapade together, maybe one sensing the other needs some time away from a stressful situation or workplace.

Smutty likes: I love extended kissing scenes, frottage, light restraint play, sharing-one-bed-for-~reasons~-ooops-how-did-we-wake-up-cuddling, bathing/caretaking an injured partner-turns-erotic, desperate/reunion sex.

Canon-divergent AUs - I’m always good with fix-its, shifts in canon that only change one thing and see what happens next or instead.

Do Not Wants:

A/B/O dynamics, mating heats. (I do like Supernatural fics that explore Castiel and the angels having bird-like behaviors and instincts, however.)

animal abuse/death

anything related to pregnancy/childbirth/kidfic (except for Jack in SPN)

formalized BDSM relationships

scat/watersports

unrequested alternative-universe scenarios such as high school/mundane/genderswap/coffee shop/fantasy/etc. There are a few ships/groups where I would enjoy specific AUs, and those are outlined below.

Completely sad endings/permanent character death or injury that isn’t part of canon

Rape/non-con between requested characters. Dubious consent is fine in situations like magic spells/possession/fuck-or-die, however.

Supernatural

AU - Canon Divergence, Character Development, Established Relationship, Getting Together, Fix-it fic, Interpersonal Drama, Smut, Angst, Canon-Style Plot - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery/Procedural, Slice of Life, Worldbuilding, Horror

In general for SPN, I love canon-divergence AUs at pretty much any point in time (especially as they kept having so many dumb reasons in canon to keep Dean & Cas apart just when one or the other seriously needed support or TLC!) I’m okay with post-series Heaven fics as well as canon fix-its/completely ignoring the finale, and I like exploring both human!Cas as endgame or Cas keeping/getting his full angelic grace back (which is a slight preference to me, as he repeatedly seemed to genuinely value/want to be an angel? But exploring all possibilities in fic is cool for me.)

I’m a sucker for Castiel Whump/hurt!Cas in general, so long as the author remembers Cas is a bad ass and not just a baby in a trenchcoat. If he’s going to suffer, I want him to suffer stoically until he just cannot keep up the facade any longer.  

SPN-specific DNWs: mentions/implications of Wincest, past or present; extreme bashing/characterization of John and Mary Winchester, or Jimmy Nowak, as homophobic. 

Group: Castiel/Dean Winchester Group: Castiel/Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Give me all the finale fix-it fics - no I’m still not over it, I’m still happy to read any new twist on how Cas got out of the Empty and got back together with Dean (and Sam). If Dean still dies early/ends up in Heaven, I’d like a story that explores what happens when one gets bored of peace-and-happiness-ever-after. (Yes, I’m a big fan of The Good Place and as such it makes me wonder if eternity with no conflict and everything you could ever want would just melt your brain and identity after a few millennia.) So what then?

I’m also stealing a Tumblr rant as a prompt I’d love to read, if you want to get into some good dirty smut:

ive had it up to here with fictional gays being like “i love you and if all i can ever have is that knowledge it’s enough for me” we need more “i have been struck down by horny insanity and i beg you to fuck me once. i’ve had three smirnoff ices and i’m gonna be crazy now. we can pretend it didn’t happen i don’t give a shit just gimme daddy’s blunt instrument” it’s more realistic [x]

Um so yeah. I’d love an au where, anywhere along the line when it’s been their/someone’s/the universe’s life on the life, Cas takes the initiative decides they’re gonna have crazy sex even if it’s just once before the end of the world/we die. But then, oops, we’ve survived, now we have to deal with it. ...Please?

For something different, maybe more romantic/fluffy, I’d really love a vacation/getaway story here, since they never really got anything like that of substance on the show. I want to see Cas take Dean somewhere beautiful and amazing in the world he’s never gotten to see before. Show him there’s more than just greasy diners and the landscape of America to enjoy and experience. If you want, they could stumble on a case/haunting/monster from another part of the world while they’re at it...but I just really want to see Dean having some mind-opening and expanding experiences beyond what’s he’s known and seen so far in life.

In specific with Cas/Dean + Sam, I love another tumblr idea I saw recently where Sam totally keeps bringing up the idea of “Sastiel” as a fun joke between him and Cas, and Cas plays along, and it drives Dean up the wall. Cas has to just keep re-assuring Dean that no, he doesn’t see Sam that way...but why does it bother Dean so much? A.k.a. Dean has to finally own up to the fact that it bothers him because he wants Cas to feel that way about him.

Castiel (Supernatural)

I just love Cas, period, end of story, he’s my One True Character of SPN. I love any stories that try to explore him more fully—be it his relationships in the past with other angels and being a BAMF commander/warrior of Heaven, or what specifically it is that keeps him so tied to the Winchesters. I love stories that feature his true-form in some fashion or try to dig into the alien/different nature of angels vs. humans.

Also, another Tumblr-musing-turned-prompt (I lost who posted it, sorry!) I'd love to see explored in a canon divergence fic focused on Cas. Specifically: 

"I would have loved an arc for Cas (after he got his grace back) where he wanted to help people, like he was helped. Spending time in soup kitchens or healing people, and through that developing a sense of self purpose, leading to his grace replenishing unexpectedly. Sort of fulfilling the traditional angel role (as we know it nowadays) by replacing his faith in heaven/dean with faith in himself, to redefine himself as a protector of humanity instead of heaven's soldier."

Group: Castiel/Dean Winchester & Jimmy Novak Group: Castiel & Jimmy Novak

We know Cas carried a lot of guilt for what happened to Jimmy and his whole family. So I'm interested in a post-finale, canon-compliant (I guess?) fic where Cas tries to reconcile things with Jimmy in Heaven. Maybe Jimmy & Amelia were one of his first "projects" or test cases in trying to build a new and better Heaven with Jack? (And it's what he was so busy with while Dean was still alive.) Or, is it weird in Heaven with Cas and Jimmy looking so similar? Does Cas still fight doubts as to whether Dean really loves him, or just desires this body/form that isn’t his own?

Otherwise, I've been thinking about Endverse!Cas, who had lost his grace/powers as the angels have all left and abandoned humankind. What happened to/where is Jimmy in all of that? (If we go by the canon that Jimmy was not killed, nor went to Heaven, until the end of Season 5, when Lucifer blew up that vessel and Cas was resurrected by Chuck.) Are they now two "mortal men"/souls trapped sharing one body? Is that why Cas is so messed up/always seeking an escape through drugs and sex? (Besides of course Dean having changed so much.) This is one prompt where I don’t mind a very dark/not-so-happily-ever-after ending.

The Police

Angst, Character Development, Established Relationship, Getting Together, Humor, Interpersonal Drama, Smut

Group: Sting/Stewart Copeland

Yeah I’ll always request these two together even though I know it’s a long shot to find anyone else as obsessed about them as I am. Really anything at all whatsoever would make me happy for this ship: Reunion Tour-era fic, early punk days before they grew successful, soulmate AUs...

I’d also love a spooky story where they’re on tour/on the road somewhere and end up in a haunted hotel. Or their tour bus/van breaks down in the middle of nowhere and they have to seek shelter in an abandoned house or farm or something...and supernatural weirdness ends up affecting them or bringing them together.

If you want to go the crack route: it wasn’t enough for Miles to take them all around the world to tour in “exotic” locations back in the day. He’s arranged for them now to go on the ultimate tour...of outer space and alien worlds.

Crossover Fandom

Action/Adventure, Character Development, Interpersonal Drama, Angst, Canon-Style Plot - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery/Procedural

Group: Abe Morgan (Forever TV) & John Munch (L&O: SVU)

I’ve had a long running headcanon that these two could have been friends back in their respective 60s/early 70s hippie days. I’d love either a story set back then, “pre-canon”, or them running into each other in NYC later in life. Munch ending up in Abe’s antique shop, for instance, while on an investigation?  

Group: Dean Winchester (Supernatural) & Ezekiel Stone (Brimstone) Group: Castiel (Supernatural) & Ezekiel Stone (Brimstone)

I’m fascinated by the idea of crossing over these two canons. Even if there’s some conflict in their approach to Hell/Lucifer/demons, there’s still a lot in common. Dean & Ezekiel having both put in their time in Hell and being demon hunters, for instance, and their complicated relationships with (fallen) angels. I’d love to see them bonding over their experiences (Maybe they even meet in Hell? Time DOES work differently there…) Maybe somehow after Ezekiel completed his mission for the Devil, he did get his second chance at “life on Earth”…but the devil’s trick is that it’s not HIS Earth, it’s in a different dimension (Supernatural’s). I’m also curious how Ezekiel might respond to Castiel as an angel–perhaps he mistakes Cas for a demon at first, with his powers, but then they realize they are in fact hunting the same demon? Cas is stuck in an alternative dimension and recognizes Ezekiel as a similar soul to Dean’s, and seeks out his help?

Basically I’d love some kind of casefic/demon hunt here, with the characters bonding over their shared/similar past traumas, taking care of each other when/if injured on a hunt, and/or perhaps helping them sort out their complicated feelings for another (ie, background Cas/Dean and/or Zeke/the Devil are TOTALLY welcome here, as I ship both of those ships.)

Law & Order: SVU

Group: John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola

Character Development, Established Relationship, Humor, Getting Together, Interpersonal Drama, Canon-Style Plot - Freeform, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery/Procedural, Slice of Life, AU-Genre shift

Munch/Fin is one of my eternal OTPs so I’m always happy to see something new featuring them! I’m always good for procedural/case-fics. And this is one request where I’d love to read some AU-Genre or setting shift, reimagining the two in some other situations besides police work. I’ve always loved the idea of John hosting a conspiracy/weird news radio show or podcast, and Fin as someone completely skeptical but who gets wrapped up in one of John’s mysteries. Or John as the owner of a bar somewhere that Fin is one of his regulars, and over time their friendship develops/deepens into something more.

Supernatural RPF

Misha Collins/Jensen Ackles Established Relationship, Getting Together, Smut, Fluff, Slice of Life, Humor

It’s odd for me to be into an actor RPF fandom (I usually only fall for music/band-related ones), but what can I say...these two just make it almost impossible not to see the possibilities!

I was thinking I’d love something set post-Supernatural...their first time seeing each other again after a long time apart? (What with the show ending, covid, Misha’s surgery, etc etc.) Could be at a convention or maybe they get to go off on a getaway together somewhere private/romantic and it’s...kind of tense and maybe nervous/angsty at first? Like with doubts about whether they can/should go back to the way things were before.

Or: putting tin-hatty speculation about the “secret/real identity” of Alma Perpetua aside, I love their poetry and I’d love any “Cockles” fic using one of their poems as inspiration.

[bogunicorn]

I used to be very pro human!Cas as his endgame, but I think that as I got older, and as I became more aware of my own non binary gender identity, I appreciate that Cas didn't need to fundamentally change more than he wanted to in order to be happy.

Cas's story is, intentionally or not, a very trans-esque arc. He's (more or less) canonically agender, and makes a very physical transition between angel and human. As a nb person, the idea of Cas being able to be somewhere in the middle, having ownership of his human body without sacrificing his angelic identity entirely, understanding the world from a unique blend of human and angelic perspectives, is really attractive. He doesn't have to choose one or the other to be with his family.

I find that a lot more emotionally fulfilling now than, say, Cas permanently sacrificing his grace for Dean under any circumstances. Cas shouldn't have to become 100% human to be understood by the people he loves, especially when he's done so much to understand them in turn.

[winsister91]

Make Amends

Part Fourteen - No

This series is a sequel to Breaking A Promise.

Characters: Dean x reader, Sam, Cas

Warnings: Language, ANGST, violence and gore, sad boys, one fucked up reader

Word Count: 2200~

A/N: This...for some reason hurt.

Series Masterlist Full Masterlist

~ Series and forever tags are open! ~

You watch Dean, Sam, and Cas looking up at you. Sam and Cas’ eyes are wide as they scan the destruction around, the bodies, the ceiling still engulfed in fire. Dean’s eyes are firmly on you, narrowed and his jaw clenched sternly. Your jaw trembles, still clutching the Bartender Demon in your grasp and not knowing what the fuck to do.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stutter with a choked voice, “I can’t stop it.”

“We’re going to help you,” Sam urges desperately, weary as the building groaned threateningly, “Just stop and come back with us.”

You exhale shakily, your heart thumping erratically, “She won’t let me.”

“She?” Dean questions, taking a daring step forward.

The Demon in your hold squirms, trying to wriggle free. You keep a tight hold on him while your heart thuds erratically against your rib cage, “Dean,” you look to him with wide, pleading eyes, “I don’t know what to do.”

A sharp pain floods your head and you cry out, dropping the demon and clutching at your temple.

“No!” you scream, the pain seers white hot, a sharp ringing attacking your eardrums.

S’not my fault you wasted your moment.

With another cry of agony, you notice your limbs moving against your will. A smile spreading on your face that you didn’t want. You got back up to your feet, turning back to the Demon who was now trying to scramble away. Your hand raises and he freezes on the spot, an aura of blue light surrounding him. Clenching your palm into a fist, you hear yourself giggle as his head literally pops into a bloody mush on the ground.

“Oh I do love magic tricks,” you hear yourself giggle, your heart thumps with panic as you try to fight back for control.

“Y/N,” Dean starts, his face flinching slightly at the gory mess you created, “Whatever is going on, we’re going to fix it, okay?”

“That isn’t Y/N,” Cas intervenes, scanning you up and down with suspicion, “She’s...changed…”

“Oh I think you’ll find it is Y/N,” you taunt, shrugging and folding your arms on the stage, looking down at the trio, “Think of me as...an upgrade.”

The building groans again, larger chunks of burning debris crashing to the floor, prompting a giggle from your lips.

You are not me.

“I’m the part of her with no filter,” your eyes glow and the fire across the ceiling burns brighter and fiercer, “The part of her that loves the power…” you look at Dean, poking your tongue between your teeth in a tease, “The part that ‘likes the disease’.”

A small growl rumbles from Dean's throat as he scowls. Seeing him look up at you with such disgust like he is now, makes your heart clench before it breaks.

“The part of her that will do anything to reach that endgame,” you continue, moving your gaze to the younger Winchester, “Even though she knows it’s wrong and addictive.”

Sam breathes out heavily, his chest heaving and the corner of his lip twitching as he furrows his brow.

“That rebellious anger she constantly buries,” you sigh, now dropping to sit on the edge of the stage, picking up a discarded blade and balancing the handle perfectly on your fingertip, smiling at the blue aura that kept it stable, “Go against her family and use this amazing power to…” you giggle, now winking at Cas, “Become a God in her own right.”

“You are not a God,” Castiel’s shoulders bunch up as he glares back at you, “You are human, and the human body can’t take this much power, at this rate you’ll burn out.”

“And what do you know huh!?” you snap, the blade on your fingertip suddenly flying through the air and hovering in front of the angel’s unflinching face, “How many people like me have even existed huh!? I’m a freaking powerhouse!”

Stop it. Please.

“Y/N that’s enough!” Dean bellows, his eyes burning angrily straight to your soul, “I know you’re still in there somewhere and I am not losing you!”

“Sweet Prince…” you pout and hold your heart overdramatically, “You’re making my heart all fluttery.”

Your eyes drop to your palm holding your chest, it’s trembling involuntarily and your head tilts in surprise.

“Oh ho!” you cheer in shock, holding the shaking hand out, “What do you know? Humanity can muster up some strength occasionally.”

“Y/N!” Dean shouts again, and your hand shakes more violently, “Come back to me Baby, fight it!”

“I’m bored of this now,” you tut, dropping from the stage onto the floor and idly strolling towards the boys who all arch up defensively in sync, “This is me now boys, you don’t like it? You’ll have to kill me.”

Your eyes flit to black, and a simple flick of your wrists send Sam and Cas hurtling through the air and into the walls behind them. You giggle as Dean charges forward, and you effortlessly stop him in his tracks, holding him still on the spot with your powers.

Stop it!!

You sidle up to Dean, hovering your lips over his and smirking. You can see him shaking with an uncontrollable rage, the mark on his arm suddenly glowing brightly as he struggled to fight against your magic.

“Hey…” you coo, biting your lip and summoning the still floating blade into your grasp, “D’ya think if I go ahead and slice that pretty little throat of yours, the irresistible Demon Dean comes back to play? I liked him, so….wicked.”

“Y/N, please, fight this,” he growls through gritted teeth.

You so much as lay a fucking finger on him...

“You’ll do what huh!?” you shout out loud at yourself. Dean’s brow furrows again as he watches you, “So many empty threats girl! You want this to stop then, by all means, stop me!”

There’s a moment’s silence. Dean watches you, internally pleading for anything to happen. Something to end this fucking torture. He couldn’t watch you turn into this monster, if it came down to it, he knew what had to be done.

Your ears prick up to the sound of shuffling. Sam and Cas coming around.

“Well, time’s up,” you shrug, shooting Dean a mock look of sympathy, “Sorry, Prince. I was going to keep you alive and slowly tap that fucking wonderful nectar that pumps through your veins. But if I just end you, she might shut up and cower into some dark quiet corner of this over-crowded head.”

Twirling the blade in your hand, you swing, aiming for a direct jab at his throat.

The sound of Sam and Cas’ cries flood your ears. You can hear them scrambling, running to stop you. There was no doubt in your mind they were ready to take you down, you kind of wanted to let them, but you weren’t going down without mustering every last ounce of fight in you.

“No!!” you scream harshly, and your swing stops mere centimeters away from Dean’s jugular.

The flames that licked at the ceiling melted away into nothing. Whatever hold you had on Dean was suddenly gone, and he was quick to realize it. A half-moment passes before you feel the knife slapped from your wrist and it clatters to the ground. You gasp heavily, looking up into his eyes as he watched yours turn back to normal.

“Y/N?” he breathes.

“Dean…” you whisper shakily, your entire body trembling, “I...I’m-”

Oh please, you caught me off guard. That’s all.

You feel your head instantly begin to throb like before. You pull at your hair, grimacing at the pain and pressure already began to build back up.

“S-she’s fighting back,” you panic, losing your balance and stumbling into a nearby table, “I- I can’t…”

“Baby,” Dean grabs your arms, holding you firm and steady as he looks intently into your eyes, “You can. Stay with me.”

You whimper in pain. Before you can speak another word you feel his lips on yours. You melt into him, your heart stopping for a moment in shock. You couldn’t believe after everything he still refuses to give up on you. Clutching him back, you let his kiss keep you at the helm.

Do you hear that?

You notice a thumping sound. Rhythmic like a heartbeat. It pounds in your eardrums, louder with each thump. Something stirs in your guts. A hunger. A too familiar hunger.

You hear that sweet blood coursing in his veins? The Mark’s blood. So much power you can taste it. You could so easily just take it.

The pain in your head reignites with ferocity, making you whine and shove Dean back.

“No,” you mumble, shaking your head and repeating the word over and over again as again you clutched at your hair, “No. I won’t!”

“Y/N?” Dean looks at your, his eyes full of pain and worry. You can still hear his pulse, thudding endlessly in your ear drums no matter how much distance you put between the two of you.

“No!” you shout, dropping to your knees and hunching over.

“What do we do?” Sam questions aloud, at a total loss at the entire situation.

Cas approaches you, trying to get close and see if he could help but every time you shook him off as the Demon voice in your head continued to taunt.

Man, you are so fucked up. What even are you anymore? So much hunger and you really don’t want to feed it? Look at this buffet! We got Mark of Cain blood, Angel grace...Hey! Maybe even some Azazel tainted blood huh? Three perfectly good sources to feed and you really think you won’t succumb eventually? C’mon now. You’re a freaking monster, start acting like one.

“I don’t know,” Dean growls, his shoulders dropping hopelessly and frustration evident in his voice, “Fucking knock her out or something!?”

Your eyes widen, an idea striking you. Risky, but...doable.

“Dean,” you strain to speak through the pain, “G-get some dream root.”

“What?” he narrows his eyes at you in bewilderment.

“Why do we need dream root?” Sam lowers himself to meet your eye level, “You’re not making sense.”

“I tried to finish it, the-” you stop and wince in pain, hastily trying to explain while your head screams, “I-I haven’t tested it yet…” A hot sticky sensation covers just above your top lip as your nose begins to bleed from all the pressure building. Time was nearly out, you had to do it now before you lost control again.

You quickly mumble an incantation you never thought you’d ever speak, and the boys watch as your body suddenly becomes limp and falls the floor.

“Y/N!!” Dean cries, dropping to your side and lifting you into his lap. He brushes the hair from your face, holding you tightly as his eyes began to burn, “Y/N!?”

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

The Bunker was eerily quiet. Dean was at your bedside, refusing to leave. You’d been completely KO the entire drive back. Not even the smallest sound passed your lips. Cas had tried to bring you out of it to no avail, he had no clue what was wrong or what you had done, but you were alive.

Dean held your hand tightly, the iron shackles around your wrist cold against his skin. They weren’t taking any chances that you’d still be you if and when you awake. It had been an entire day now, and Dean stayed by you. He hadn’t slept or eaten, he couldn’t bring himself to. Much to Sam and Cas’ protest.

“C’mon Sweetheart,” Dean wiped a hand down his face, groaning as his eyes were painfully heavy, “I need you. Fucking, yell at me for not sleeping or eating or something. I can’t handle another day of this..”

As expected, you don’t react or stir. Just like the past numerous times he’d helplessly tried to talk you out of this apparent coma.

“How did we end up back like this…?” Dean sighs, his face grimacing while his heart wrenches painfully, “I thought we were finally past all this...potion crap. Then the whole Angel Radio stuff started happening…”

His words trail off into a deep sigh. Every fiber of his being wanted you to be able to hear him, but he knew the reality that you couldn’t. Your face blank and eyes firmly shut. He could see your eyelids twitching with movement constantly, like you were having some kind of endless vivid dream.

He feels his eyes beginning to burn again and he fights to hold it back. He kisses firmly on the back of your palm that he held and then sucks in a deep breath. His foot taps on the floor anxiously, the click from the sole of his shoe hitting the hard floor becoming the only audible noise.

“It’ll be okay Baby,” he mutters, more to try and convince himself, “We’ll get through this. We always do.”

Tags! Forever Posse: @sofreddie @chelsea074298 @ria132love @untitled39887 @chicagolove88 @akshi8278 @sis-tafics @younoeatcheeseyounobefat @mandilion76 @teamfreewill92 @supernaturalmagicfolk @emoryhemsworth @musicistobeheard-blog @pheonyxstorm @mrswhozeewhatsis @turnttoverr @itspronouncedsatanbitch @the--real-wombat @xagateophobiax @samisimportant @jensen-gal @castiel11235 @waiting-to-find-myshadows @19agbrown @mogaruke @nyxveracity @cole-winchester @esoltis280 @maui137 @internationalmusicteacher @meganywinchester @sweetness47 @roonyxx @imperiusimpala @lazinessisalliknow @thisismysecrethappyplace @choosemyname @dean-winchesters-bacon  @stoneyggirl @hunterswearingplaid @bella-ca @curly-haired-disaster @rainflowermoon

Dean Darlings: @annoyingpeople-postingthings @hobby27 @sleepless-sin @keira1416 @imascio08 @starry-chaos @xalgaliareptx @polina-93 @andkatiethings @assassinofmasyaf @adoptdontshoppets Make Amends Squad @rosethesupernaturalhunter @shayla-markele @justballoonfishthings @iamcraving @disneychic8 @earthtokace @drakelover78 @cookiechipdough

[amwritingmeta]

Can we talk about that gas and sip episode? Like at the end were it's night time ever and Dean asks Cas "were to?" And the very next scene it's MORNING and Dean is dropping Cas off at the gas and sip. WTH?

Oh, my darling! This is SO late. I hope you can forgive me… I’ll try and make it up to you by saying YES WE DAMN WELL CAN TALK ABOUT THIS FANFIC GAP BECAUSE IT IS EPIC!!

:P

So I think you may be aware of how much I love this arc and how much I love human!Cas. I love it because it focuses Cas in a way that not many other moments in his progression has managed to do and it tells us, in no unequivocal terms, what his endgame is. He’ll reach it when he’s made the choice that will answer the question posed to him: Angel or man? Right? YES!

So this question comes at him by the end of 9x06 - the episode where the moment you’re referring to occurs - and this episode as a whole is a thing of beauty, especially where Dean and Cas are concerned. It gives us SO MUCH. (I know that this is not news) (as with most things I’m certain there are reams written on this episode and this arc) (but I haven’t written much on it save for in tags so I’m excited I get to tackle it) (and yeah this will probably get kinda long…) (ahem)

Okay, I’m going to answer your question, but first I want us to have a bit of an overview.

Firstly, consider the reason Cas isn’t in the bunker –> Gadreel. 

Because of Gadreel’s objections in 9x03, Dean asked/told Cas he had to leave.

Yeah, so now Dean gets a call from Cas and Dean is so fucking pleased, though a little thrown, and he tries to chat, gets told Cas is only calling him because of a case Dean might want to look into, further getting informed that Cas is “busy” and realises Cas just blew him off. 

He’s busy? Busy with what exactly and is he okay and what was that noise in the background? 

So. 

Dean doesn’t just go to where Cas said the case is, oh no, because Dean Winchester - hunter extraordinaire - tracks Castiel - former angel of the lord - down and in the process tells Sam, not once, but twice, that he absolutely does not need Sam’s help or want him anywhere the fuck near this case because then, due to that cockblocker Gadreel, Dean definitively will not get to spend any time with Cas. 

Which is the primary reason Dean gets on the road and the only reason Dean gets on the road without Sam and then goes on to assure Sam he’s got it covered and doesn’t need him to come join him. Like, yeah, Dean, you’re feeling all kinds of mixed emotions, right? Guilt, longing, need, worry? And you want to see Cas and you want to make sure he’s okay.

That is, if Cas even wants to spend time with him, which Dean is still unsure of. Hence the hesitation and frown-y face as he watches Cas through those big Gas ‘n Sip windows. 

Seriously, is he okay? What the hell is he doing? This is the last damn place on Earth that I’d ever thought I’d find him and what exactly is the dude wearing?

But Dean braves it. With a grin. Because he’s nervous as all hell that he’ll get shot down after he behaved like a complete asshat, throwing Cas out of the bunker like that, and Cas only called about a case so Dean showing up here might not be welcome. In fact, he might get asked to get the fuck out of there. (even though Cas did pick up the phone to call him so…)

Now, Cas – sorry - Steve – does look taken aback. Actually, he looks downright shocked to see Dean’s face. Like he expected he never would again, at least not so soon, and not here, like he genuinely expected Dean to only be interested in the case. (damn these men and their inability to openly communicate) (of course also bless them because it is what makes their interaction so fucking enticing) (that they’re both such major idiots)

All this said, it could be argued (let me headcanon ok?) that Cas, somewhere, in the back recesses of his mind, hoped that placing a call about a case in the very town he’s staying in would mean they’d run into each other.

Running into each other so that Cas could show how well-adjusted he is, of course. That he’s got a job and a… place to sleep. Which is in the back of a Gas ‘n Sip, but Dean wouldn’t need to know that anymore than Cas’ boss knows. Well, she does now, but she thinks he’s just a dedicated employee. She doesn’t know that he’s homeless. (or quite possibly she does) (she seems to take Cas for who he is, not what he is) (and sees the core kindness of him and doesn’t question it but repays it)

Well, there’s no run-in on the street in the cards for Cas and Dean, is there? Nope. Because Dean is far from as casual about the whole thing and he wants to see Cas and he tracks him and finds him. And now here Dean is, face to face with Steve, and he cannot believe this is where Cas has ended up.

Mostly because Cas is fine. Cas is more than fine, he’s a little pissed off and clearly wholly dismissive and obviously uncomfortable with Dean invading this new life he’s building, but other than that, he seems to be okay with being human.

And Dean tries to needle an admittance of doubt out of him. Dean, naturally, thinks this gig is way, way below Cas, right? Out of all the things he could’ve chosen to do, he finds the most menial task a person can engage in (pardon me, all you Gas ‘n Sippers out there, I mean no offence, but compared to what Cas has done in the past…) Cas has chosen to engage with something that doesn’t speak to his skill set at all. And Dean is like WHY??

So he tries to make Cas admit that working at a gas station is below him, that he thinks he deserves more than this, more or less steering Cas towards admitting that his humanity is a burden and he hates it and all he wants is to be an angel again. Only, Cas doesn’t. 

Why? Again, because Cas is fine. Fine with being human. Fine with this being his reality. Fine, fine, fine. And Dean still can’t understand why, until it’s revealed that Cas has a hot boss. It’s about a girl! Wonderful. Awesome. Very human. And terrifying. Because where exactly does all this leave Dean? He shut Cas out of his life in order to protect Sam, and now it turns out Cas is happily shutting him out, because he never really needed Dean’s help. Did he?

So what’s the one thing Dean Winchester - hunter extraordinaire - can think to do? Well, how about hooking Cas into considering what they used to share? 

Come on, Cas, come on this case. Remember how much fun that used to be? Remember the good old times? I’ll remind you. I’ll damn well remind you of what you’re giving up. 

Needy, Dean. Very, very needy. Just let him go, man. He’s okay. You didn’t break him by throwing him out. He’s fine. Leave it alone. But of course, Dean doesn’t. And they go investigating. And Dean comes to realise something: 

Cas is fucking mortal. 

He can die. Yes, remember that, Dean? Now he does. Because Cas suddenly expresses his own fear of dying, telling Dean that things are different now. Things feel different. Such a wholly human thing of him to say! *heart eyes*

And the shoe drops: Dean doesn’t need any more prompting. He tells Cas to stay safe, to go on that date, to live a normal life. And Cas isn’t happy with that wording, because he feels like a fucking coward, but yeah, he doesn’t want to die. Again. (also he promised Dean he wouldn’t so…) And Nora is nice and going on dates is something humans do.

So there’s another gap here, you realise? Because it’s broad daylight when Dean and Cas go to check out that high school crime scene, and then it’s 7pm when they drive up to Nora’s house. So what did they do in the interim? Maybe they went to a pub or a bar for a beer and a chat, or maybe they even went to get Dean a motel room, because he hadn’t done that yet. Wouldn’t surprise me if he, way too eager to see Cas, just rolled into town. :P

Then, of course, we get the reveal that Nora thought of Cas as the Babysitter (which is so ironic I don’t even know what to say about it) (the term has been tossed around throughout the series) (especially in later seasons) (for example when Dean calls Cas out on acting the Winchester’s babysitter in 12x19) (and there’s more to discuss on this topic but I’m leaving it) and left alone in Nora’s house Cas gets a visit from Ephraim, the angel of mercy, who wants to take all his pain and confusion away.

Noteworthy is the fact that Cas didn’t want to walk into danger, but when faced with it steps between it and the innocent child he thinks is threatened. He will always, always act the shield. This core trait instinctively wipes away any fear or second thought for his own safety. It’s pretty fucking glorious to behold.

We also learn something here: Cas is in pain. The truth is that he is forcing himself into a role he’s not designed to play, submitting to his mortality and making a go of what he assumes is the human way of doing things because…

Because he was rejected by Dean.

I mean, it’s quite simply this exact thing that’s made him embrace his humanity in this non-Cas way, because he’s alone and without a rudder and all he can think is that he’s useless without his powers, and what is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to help? April nearly killed him. The angels all hate him and rightfully so. He’s hiding and trying to forget about all of it, except he can’t entirely - hence the taking note of the nearby case and calling Dean in to take care of it.

By turning himself into Steve, Cas is going against his core traits: to help and to protect. This isn’t a good place for him to be. (hence the change of name) (he’s literally acting a role he’s assigned himself) (the human version of him needs a name not tied to Heaven) (he’s pretending he doesn’t have a past because the guilt of what has happened is so extreme he doesn’t know how to even face it) (because he feels utterly powerless)

So the lesson he’s meant to learn in this episode is exactly that. He can talk big and tell Dean that he’s found purpose and dignity in what he’s chosen for himself, but the truth is that what makes him special - as Nora tells him - is the way he cares. 

A rose by any other name, Castiel. You cannot wipe out who you truly are by pretending to be someone else.

Nora’s dialogue as Cas leaves her house more or less serves to shine a light on the truth of Ephraim’s challenge, because the challenge for Cas to decide how to continue - as an angel or as a man - isn’t really the choice Cas has to make for himself. It’s whether he continues to stick his head in the sand when he’s needed the most, allowing his fear of dying to give him a free pass, or whether he chooses to face this fear, and play big, in spite of it.

(let’s also not forget about this gap between when Cas and Dean together defeat Ephraim and Nora comes back from her date) (because they straight up looked after a baby together) (and I want to see that on screen more than I want to see them in Dean’s procured motel room tbh) (oh wait) (now we have JACK) (god I love S13) :P

So when Dean asks Cas “Where to?” the grim expression on Cas’ face has everything to do with the fact that he hasn’t decided how to answer that question yet. He has no fucking idea where to go from here or even where he wants to be headed. 

So here we now land in my reply to your actual question. 

I’m going to give you my way of filling in the gap of this night we never got to witness, and it’s platonic af. Yeah, that’s right. P.l.a.t.o.n.i.c.

I mean, I think Cas stayed quiet in that car, lost in thought, and Dean suggested hey, you hungry, grab a bite to eat? So maybe they went to restaurant and talked and it was all good, or maybe Dean asked him where he’s staying and Cas just muttered and Dean suggested hey, why don’t you come back to the motel, huh? Because of course Dean wants to drag this out for as long as possible and there’s beer and they can get some food on the way and just… hang out. And maybe Dean was thinking and hoping that maybe Cas, who clearly wants to get laid again, would be up for flirtation, but —

– but here’s the thing. The way I read Dean, especially where he’s at in his progression at this point, considering that he’s on the precipice of letting his self-hatred get the better of him in such a way that he decides to take the MoC on himself, my reading of him is that he’s simply not in a mindset to make a move on Cas. He just doesn’t have the balls to risk this incredibly important relationship because he’s horny. (remember he hasn’t admitted to himself yet exactly how much he fucking LOVES Cas, right) (that won’t happen until S11 and Mildred’s hand placed over his heart)

If Cas instigated it, oh, fuck yeah. I think Dean would’ve happily engaged in a night of debauchery and his self-loathing would then have explained it away as nothing but some fun between friends, going so far as to completely convince himself that of course Cas doesn’t FEEL anything. Oh, and neither does Dean, because love and happiness are such scary concepts (because Good Things Don’t Last) that even the thought of them are suppressed swiftly and efficiently and all that this ever was, for the both of them, was sex between friends, nothing more. But —

– but Cas is in no state to instigate anything here. 

He’s low. He’s had severe blows delivered throughout the episode and the only thing keeping him up is the fact that Dean’s there. So even if they don’t have a deep heart-to-heart about the decision Cas is about to make for himself, the fact that Dean is there as support, I believe, has a huge bearing on where that decision actually lands. 

So, we have a Cas who is feeling low and, I’d argue, doesn’t have his mind set on sex as emotional consolation, mostly because he’s still unsure of what exactly that longing he feels from Dean means. He’s still unsure about what it is he feels. You know? He’s just now starting to suss out the vastness and depths of human emotion - he says as much in this episode when discussing Ephram’s motivations with Dean. It’s still a confusing jumble, just as it is for most humans. 

I believe what Cas needs when he gets into the Impala is a friend. And beyond that what he needs, more than anything else, is a hot meal, an even hotter shower and a warm, soft bed to sleep in for the first time since… Well, a very long time, I’d say. 

I do headcanon with my last breath, though, that this is the night when these two fell in love for real. Like they were attracted to each other and there was respect and intrigue and they were doing a joint circling of falling in love (hello that year in Purgatory) (but of course Dean told himself that was all about comrades in arms) (and Dean being hellbent on finding Cas and bringing him home was all about how Cas said “I’ll go with you” and then he died) (even when he didn’t want to face any conflict) (because he backed Dean) (and Dean wasn’t just gonna leave him in fucking Purgatory was he…?) but this is where that emotion manifested, irreversibly, for the both of them. 

Like they got to see new sides to each other that they had never been privvy to before. Instigated by them fighting off a death threat as a team, but really deepened by them taking care of a baby as a borderline couple and seeing what that domesticity could be like, and then Dean showing support and understanding and them simply having a low-key evening together, staying in the same room with absolutely nothing more needing to happen than them falling asleep after hours of talking about life and their past and just getting to know each other on a completely different level.

Because with a Dean that is way too insecure and in no mood of doing something stupid that might jeopardise his friendship with Cas now that his last stupid thing has been put behind them, and with a Cas equally in the process of finding his footing as a human and individual and really not being about the sex, but much more about making a connection, I just don’t see them getting it on in this episode.

That’s not to say that it’s not open for that interpretation. This is MY reading, peeps. And I love toying with the idea that something happened. But to me it doesn’t fit in with how I read the canon narrative, is all. And it doesn’t have to. I’m just basing my reply on that reading, rather than all the possibilities if venturing away from how I view it. :P (I’m also not saying I’m the only one to view it this way) (I’m just not going to bunch people into a we when I’m not entirely sure who the we is) :)

Moving on.

After the lessons learned in this episode, in 9x09 we get to witness where Cas lands, which is in the decision to don fed threads and insert himself into the brothers’ investigation, going head first into a situation to do with angels warring with each other, stating that this is something he should be involved in.

In other words, a 180 in attitude from the start of 9x06 and his fear of facing possible death. (as well as, of course, facing the anger and disgust of his kin) (fleeing responsibility as a human) (finally coming to the realisation of his own accord that not only does running away go against everything he believes in) (but everything that truly makes him him as well) (he can’t just turn his back)

It makes me teary eyed and emotional. He’s been told by Dean to go live his life, and this is what he chooses for himself. No more aimlessness, no more questioning where he should be or where he belongs, he steps into that crime scene intent on being a part of the fight Dean told him isn’t his anymore. *head fucking exploding with joyyyyy*

Now, on that note ^^^ let’s look at the very final scene of 9x06.

So, Dean apologises for telling Cas to leave the bunker, something that’s been weighing on him ever since he first laid eyes on Cas in that Gas ‘n Sip, I’m sure. Like, why not open with this, Dean? 

(because he’s a scaredy cat and he wanted to charm the pants off…… well……. Cas and suss out if their friendship had been seriously damaged before even breeching the subject of how he failed to be there for Cas when he needed him the most) 

And then Dean tells Cas he’s proud that he’s adapting to this new life, even if it’s been hard. 

And that’s a complete 180 with regards to what his attitude was at the start of the episode. It’s a brilliant emotional bookend for our Dean! 

Instead of being needy and trying to get Cas to come play with him as in Please, remember the good times, Cas! Dean is letting go. He doesn’t want to. Like, he really, really does not want to. (Jensen plays this scene so well) (and God Misha is amazing in this episode) (GAH) 

But this choice of letting go isn’t just because of Gadreel now, it’s because Cas doesn’t want to die. And Dean doesn’t want Cas to die. So, Dean forces himself to because it’s the right thing to do and he tells Cas to go live his life. And, again, I don’t think he’s fully come to terms with how in love he really is with Cas, but we know, through this action, exactly how much he loves him.

And the narrative knows. And sets up a big reward, even though Dean can’t quite see it as such, when Cas chooses to return to him in 9x09.

I mean, Dean sees Cas being reckless with his life. Again. But, really, if Dean hadn’t come to the Gas ‘n Sip and instilled a sense of having faith in Cas even without his powers, Cas might not have come to the realisation that he was lying to himself about what his purpose ought to be. All that pain he’s been suppressing, all that worry and lack of self-worth because he wasn’t entirely sure why Dean had rejected him, it eases when Dean shows up unannounced and encourages him that they should work a case together.

Dean: So? I’ve never had any powers.

I think that’s ^^^ a pivotal line in this episode and something Cas has to understand. Still. Going on six years later. His powers do not define him. His powers are not the reason he’s valued and important to Dean, or to Sam. 

Anyway, for 9x06 what he had to understand is that deep down he’s a shield and a protector, always and forever. He’s not meant to nuke nachos and keep bathrooms clean. And he does understand it. If human is what he’s going to be, then he’s meant to be a hunter. Plain and simple. So, a hunter in training he’ll be. And off he goes. To help the angels. (and to be close to Dean again)

There. One simple, straightforward request for a bit of a discussion on one fanfic gap in an episode became four and a half pages of meta analysis and headcanon and spec about intention and the characters’ emotional architecture for you. And flailing about one of my favourite episodes of this show. Like hands down top ten. Easy peasy don’t even have to ponder it. 9x09 and 9x10 belonging high up on that list as well. 

Right. I could write an essay about this arc and how important I think it is, how it becomes an axis that turns and rotates the entire series in a new direction and informs not only the love story, but so much of the codependency and the main characters’ individual arcs as well. It’s just full of bright, bright moments and horrible heartache and it’s all so part of the reason why we love this damned show, right?

Thanks for the prompt, my lovely. And do excuse my reply being so abysmally late!!

xx

[hufflepuffdean]

Dean/Cas Fic Recs

I don’t think I’d bothered to update my fic recs since like, mid-S9 MAYBE. dozens of my faves were missing. so of course this is what I did with my vacation time. long fics, drabbles, and all seasons included here - enjoy! I really could have included so many more; fandom is so great and talented. <3 (alphabetical order, and I separated canon and AU.)

CANON

Absolution by omphalos and wolfling. 100K+, NC-17. Against his better judgement, Castiel offers Dean a way to save Sam. (Part of a three-part series, the third part of which was never written. Absolution stands on its own, though, as does its sequel Kin.)

alive with closed eyes by MajorEnglishEsquire. 1K, NC-17. i will take the sun in my mouth

All the Neighbors Might Think by murron. 5K, NC-17. It’s not like Dean needs company on Christmas Eve.

All the Pebbles in Your Path by thegrrrl2002. 12K, NC-17. Dean takes an unexpected trip. It's up to Cas to get him home again.

The Allure of Hidden Lace by Dangerousnotbroken. 9K, NC-17. Now that they've got the bunker, an actual home to live in and a place to cultivate comfort, Dean finds himself creating routines, exprimenting in the kitchen, and enjoying life off the road. He also finds that it's pretty impossible to escape the watchful eye of a former angel who seems pretty goddamned observant.

Après by imogenbynight. 24K, NC-17. When the angels stop falling and Castiel makes his way out of the trees, he finds himself alone and oceans away from the Winchesters. For once, Dean flies to him.

Assimilation by komodobits. 6K, PG-13. Mary always thought you were supposed to be able to tell. That you could just look at someone and know they were – you know. One of that sort. It’s not supposed to happen to her son.

A Baby, a Lizard Monster, Two Hunters, and an Angel Walk Into a Bar by planiforidjit. 13K, NC-17. A baby shows up on front steps of the bunker and Sam and Dean have no choice but to take it in. They don't know where it came from or how someone knew to drop the baby with them, but with Cas's help they're trying to find out.

Beneath Your Bones, Where I Reside by wolfrock. 3K, NC-17. Set right after "My Bloody Valentine." Castiel hears Dean praying out in the scrap yard and goes to extremes to show him that Famine was wrong when he said his soul was broken.

The Best of All Instructors by theskywasblue. 2K, NC-17. Dean teaches Cas to shoot, Cas teaches Dean something entirely different.

The Best of Fools by fanforfanatic. 1K, PG. ‘The label is misleading’ is Cas’ initial reaction. There is no music on Dean’s Top 13 Zepp Traxx, at least not until the very end.

Blueberry, Rhubarb, and Apple by chellefic. 5K, NC-17. Castiel may just be rhubarb.

Bodies Shine Together in the Darkness by dorkilysoulless. 5K, NC-17. Angels aren't marble statues. Not really. And who better to teach Hannah those lessons than Castiel? (Endgame Dean/Cas/Hannah.)

a breathing thing by mishcollin. 1K, G. She's always been a home to Dean's love -- this is her purpose.

Bring Up the Deep by beenghosting. 23K, NC-17. They went back and forth on whether or not to make the drive until Sam found an article in the town’s local paper dated a week earlier about a lobster fisherman who swore a monster sank his boat.

Build a Home by domesticadventures. 20K, PG. After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t.

Bulletproof by nyoka. 5K, NC-17. It’s been weeks since Purgatory, but Dean still feels it on his skin.

Casturbatus Interruptus by smallhorizons. 6K, NC-17. Dean walks in on Cas masturbating. He’s doing it all wrong, but when you’re a bazillion-year-old virgin, that’s to be expected. Dean decides to lend him a hand in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. Things get a little out of control.

a cave, a cathedral. by orange_crushed. 2K, PG. He does come home with you. He does.

Come Again? by xaandria. 17K, NC-17. The unintended application of an ancient nuptial blessing leaves Cas and Dean at each others' mercy, having bestowed upon them the ability to both experience and influence the other's sexual sensations for the space of ten days. Any other two people with sense would swear off any and all carnal activity until the blessing runs its course, but when have Cas and Dean ever had any sense when it comes to what the other is feeling?

The Consequences of Falling by FayJay. 37K, NC-17. A story in fifteen parts, in which the angel Castiel finds himself put in an untenable position, and consequentially loses his grace. In which he goes on a roadtrip with a demon, discovers the delights of tequila and french fries and pie, plays a starring role in a virgin sacrifice, is deflowered by his favourite Winchester, and then gets some very unpleasant news indeed. (Spoilers: the MCD in the tags isn't permanent and the non-con isn't between Dean and Cas.)

Crossing the Sea by thegrrrl2002. 21K, NC-17. The apocalypse is over, and Dean has Sam back, safe and sound. All should be well with his world, but Dean's still coping with the emotional fallout and feeling more than a little off-balance, Meanwhile, Sam is convinced there's a monster living in Lake Superior but they can't seem to find it, although there's plenty of good pie and fishing trips to be had. Plus there's Castiel, who pops back into Dean's life, and gets way into Dean's personal space. He's dealing with his own issues -- being the new sheriff of heaven isn't turning out quite the way he thought it would.

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx by pantheon_of_discord. 82K, NC-17. Dean and Cas and the open road, to the tune of Led Zeppelin.

Deeper and Deeper Into the World by peridium. 47K, NC-17. When Metatron breaks free of the library, Castiel’s grace in hand, and disappears, Castiel is left human-- and angry. Angrier than he’ll admit until, late at night, Dean coaxes it out of him: Castiel is pissed and he wants revenge. He wants it enough to pursue Metatron, reckless and without a plan, across the Atlantic with Dean at his side, knowing how badly he wants Dean and how likely it is that one or both of them will die along the way. Their search takes them all across the world, from London to Omsk to Tokyo and between. Far from home with no one but each other, Castiel’s grace missing and the Mark still on Dean’s arm, Dean and Castiel find the flimsy barriers between the two of them dissolving.

The Distance of the Setting Sun by murron. 18K, NC-17. With the apocalypse off the table and Sam returned from the pit, Team Free Will finds themselves at loose ends. When Sam suggests they take a holiday, Dean expects many things. Wearing flip-flops isn’t one of them.

Do What Feels Good by catchclaw and cymbalism. 13K, NC-17. Castiel learns to love alone time in the shower. And then he learns to share.

Dog Shit, Traps, Trouble and Other Inconvenient Things to Fall Into by proxydialogue. 2K, PG-13. There's an argument in here somewhere for Castiel's skill of inconvenient timing.

Dream of Now series by sass_master. 124K, NC-17. Various moments in Cas and Dean's relationship. (Technically a WIP but you can read any individual story and be satisfied. In more ways than one eyyyyy)

An Empty Cup by peridium. 3K, NC-17. It takes almost no time for Dean to get used to the coldness of space. The darkness, the emptiness, the nothingness. Actually, he kind of likes it at first. And then Castiel comes to visit.

Except Thou Bless Me by architeuthis. 11K, NC-17. Castiel is wroth, and Dean is having a great time.

Eyes on the Road, Hands on the Wheel by Chiyume. 11K, NC-17. After being nagged into it by his brother, Dean takes on the task of teaching Castiel how to drive; a task that turns out to be harder to accomplish than one would have thought since neither Cas nor Dean seems capable of watching the road...

Fata morgana. by orange_crushed. 7K, PG-13. The endless asphalt and broken road, the empty land and piles of human garbage, the unwanted ends of life, the cracked toys and broken screens and burning cars and gravel. Dean Winchester is the king of hell. "Oh," says Bela. That changes certain things. (D/C is more implied.)

Feast of All Saints by oselle. 30K?, NC-17. It's 2015 and the world's gone to hell in the Croatoan apocalypse. Separated from their group of virus survivors, Dean and his erstwhile guardian angel find themselves stranded in Appalachia.

Forget the Sky by loversantiquities. 26K, PG-13. After years of bum luck on lottery scratch offs in almost every state in the nation, Dean strikes it rich on a ticket and comes into the possession of fifteen thousand dollars—after taxes. After finishing a near-fruitless hunt with Castiel at his side, and with decades worth of exhaustion in his bones, together they come up with a plan—throw a dart at a map pinned to their motel wall, and fly to the first place it lands. Only, Dean never anticipated that traveling to Japan would involve staying so close to Castiel at all hours on unsure footing, and thousands of miles from Sam and his home, everything from simple touches to sideways glances, it all comes to a head in the middle of the night—How is he supposed to enjoy his vacation when he's sleeping next to the love of his life?

free fall by anastiel. 7K, R. He’s not used to this, the constancy of Cas at his side 24/7, with no random potential deadly trips to Heaven, no fear that Cas will leave him and never come back. There’s no more Lucifer, Amara, and no potential end of the world. Cas is just here, he’s himself, and everything is mostly okay. In reality, Dean’s pretty sure he’s dreaming and in two seconds he’s going to wake up and a Djinn will be sucking him dry. There’s no way his luck could be this good.

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock. 15K, NC-17. While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

Good Things Do Happen by trinityofone. 11K, PG. A Winchester Family Christmas, 2010. AKA, Best zombie Christmas ever!

Grapple by loversantiquities. 3K, NC-17. He swallowed, throat tight – you can do this, Winchester. It’s just Cas. Your best friend, remember?

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built by MajorEnglishEsquire. 15K, PG. Castiel travels with the angel tablet and without the Winchesters. One day, Dean gets a text from some anonymous number.

He Begins the Work of Exploration by dorkilysoulless. 3K, NC-17. Castiel chooses humanity, and he delights in the pleasures of the flesh.

Heart of Glass by omphalos. 17K, NC-17. He's the one who was punished, severely, because of his feelings for Dean, but who still gave up everything for him in the end. Surely there should exist between them a better level of comprehension than this.

Hell or High Water by electricskeptic. 25K, PG-13/R. Wherein Dean and Sam are killed by forces unknown (again), and Castiel is willing to do just about anything do bring them back. However, things aren’t quite as straightforward as they seem, and the civil war in Heaven reaches an unexpected climax when Raphael shows his hand. A story about faith, morality, and the ultimate cost of free will.

Here the Deadened Strain Revive by demonology. 43K, PG-13. Banished to Purgatory, Castiel must rekindle his friendship with Dean and mend his damaged mind as they fight for their lives and search for a way back home. With only each other to rely on, they navigate a horrific wasteland populated with creatures both new and familiar, and as the dangers mount they realize that there might be more to their bond than they ever could have imagined.

How Still My Heart by cadignan. 71K, NC-17. Charlie hadn’t been waiting for the call, but it’s not exactly a surprise to hear from Dean. "Cas? You want me to find Cas?"

Howling the Moondogs by kelpiethethundergod. 42K, PG-13. Fallen and slowly being eaten up by guilt for having helped Metatron empty out the skies, Castiel seeks refuge at the bunker and tries to find a way to set everything right. He clings to the one connection that he has always trusted to anchor him over the years, until it starts to crumble under the weight of all their combined responsibilities and finally disappears into the dark without a trace.

I Beg of You Now by kelpiethethundergod. 11K, NC-17. Birthday parties are a thing normal people do, and Dean isn't normal people. He sucks at those things. He doesn't want to mess it up for Claire. So, Dean's kind of nervous. Cas, though, Cas is worse.

i crippled your heart a hundred times by bravest. 19K, NC-17. One night Castiel comes to Dean and says three words he wasn't ready to hear.

I've been laying down in the devil's lair by dontbitethesun. 5K, R. What's a fallen angel to do when his fearless leader fails to get him killed? Join the army, apparently, or at least what's left of it.

If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found by WinJennster. 25K, NC-17. Days after "I’m No Angel," Castiel finds himself exiled from the safety of the bunker. The money Dean gives him runs out all too soon. Luck, or perhaps divine providence, lands him on the Amish farm of Jacob and Lydia Bieler. The Bielers take Cas in. Despite the Amish’s general distrust of outsiders - Englischers - the strange man who can understand their language and isn’t afraid of hard work seems a natural fit amongst them. Castiel thinks he might just go ahead and stay - the farm seems like a good place to heal his broken heart, and maybe forget who broke it. Meanwhile, Dean finds himself so wracked with guilt, he can’t stand to see his own face in the mirror. He doesn't know what's worse; the fact that he threw Cas away or that Sam’s unwillingly - and unwittingly - possessed by an angel. Charlie comes for a visit and decides to stay, and it takes her no time at all to call Dean on his bullshit. With her help and encouragement and a plan to deal with the angel in Sam later, Dean and Charlie set out to find Cas and bring him home. But when they find him, Dean’s surprised that Cas doesn’t want to come home, leaving Dean to face some difficult truths about himself - and how he feels about Castiel.

Immigrant Song by trinityofone. 47K, NC-17. A hypothetical season six in which Dean, Sam, and a newly-fallen Castiel encounter vengeful gods, secret societies, a box of dangerous magical artifacts, and something they're all going to pretend wasn't actually faeries. Meanwhile, Dean suffers a sexuality crisis, and Castiel has a secret that could change everything.

In a Twist series by annundriel. 15K, NC-17. Castiel buys Dean a little something. Dean likes it. A lot. (It seems like she deleted her LJ, which is a shame, but everything by annundriel is great!)

In the Bee-Loud Glade by clockworkrobots. 18K, PG. Set four years after the events of season 9, this is the story of how Dean and Cas take over Sonny's home for boys when he retires, as a retirement of their own, of sorts, from the hard life of hunting. It's also the story of how Claire Novak, now of age, tracks them down there to hopefully find the answers she never got as a child.

In the Evening by suqua. 3K, NC-17. At the end of the day, Dean and Castiel have each other.

In the Secret Places of the Stairs by thevinegarworks. 20K?, NC-17. Castiel has soothed his nightmares since the first night, though Dean will never know of it. Castiel has accepted this invisibility willingly; if it helps Dean Winchester grow into his role, he will oblige without argument and with no need for recognition. He simply wants to help.

Just Another Word for Intuition by cymbalism. 3K, NC-17. As an angel Castiel had put Dean together, healed his wounds with a touch, made him whole. Now, as a man, he takes him apart.

Leap that Makes the Fall by miss_anthropic. 50K?, PG-13. With no explanation for how or why, Dean and Sam find themselves with a fallen angel on their hands. (Also worth reading the sequel, Loving the Fall.)

Let It Be by Persephoneshadow. 143K, R. The one where Mary lives, Cas is there, and nothing and everything changes. (Sort of AU? A canon AU? You'll see what I mean when you read it, but it's definitely wedded to canon.)

Love: A Retrospective by xylodemon. 41K, NC-17. Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.

Mind Over Matter by rarelypoetic. 16K, NC-17. Castiel and Sam perform an ancient angelic purification ritual on Dean in the hopes of curing him of the Mark, but it has some unexpected consequences. In the process of trying to figure out what went wrong, Castiel realizes a thing or two about angelic history, Dean discovers that the boundary between divinity and humanity is not quite as delineated as he had thought, and together they learn that some things are a long time coming.

Moon Going Down by nyoka. 4K, NC-17. Somewhere in Nebraska at the end of the road, it's the darkest night he's ever known.

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by tuesday. 11K, R. Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this.

My Eyes Are an Ocean by entanglednow. 10K, NC-17. It's amazing what you decide you can get away with when you can't see a damn thing. (Also worth reading the sequel, An Eye for an Eye.)

Named by RC_McLachlan. 95K, R. Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

Nowhere Else by xxenjoy. 10K, NC-17. Between Cas' lost grace, and Dean's accidental confession to Sam, it's been the same overbearing concern - that Dean really, really does not need - for weeks. He can focus on Cas and do his job at the same time. This is not the first case the two of them will work together, it's not even the first case Cas has worked as a human. It may be the first case the two of them have worked alone since the whole 'I'm in love with Cas' fiasco, but Dean's a professional, he knows what he's doing. They'll be fine. Cas will be fine.

One Cold Night by xylodemon. 17K, NC-17. Dean shivers again. His teeth clack together. "Jesus Christ, it's cold."

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict. 22K, NC-17. While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Only Fools Rush In by baka_sensei. 18K, NC-17. Cas lets his feelings run away with him, Gabe is a total dick, Sam is concerned, and Dean has to make a choice.

The Path of Fireflies by museaway. 64K, PG-13ish. After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.

Picking Stitches by sky_reid. 2K, PG-13. Dean likes his women curvy, his men rough and his Cas just the way he is.

Put Up Your Dukes by saltyfeathers. 38K, NC-17. Dean can't sleep. Cas offers to tire him out.

Risking Everything by twisting_vine_x. 20K, NC-17. When Castiel goes missing after a battle with Raphael, just how far will Dean go to get him home safely again?

Seventeen Kisses and Counting by chellefic. 5K, NC-17. "You're sexually attracted to Dr. Sexy."

Shambala by anythingtoasted. 4K, NC-17. “You’re a Buddhist now?” Cas shrugged, trailing his fingers over the smooth gold head of the Buddha statuette. He tapped it affectionately before he turned to look at Dean, who once again was in his cabin, completely unannounced. “Sure. Why not? I figure, keep trying; something’s gotta stick.”

Show Among Us Secret Wisdom by dorkilysoulless. 8K, NC-17. When Dean wakes up female, he and Sam struggle to find a cause. To find a solution, Dean has to expand his horizons: new ride, new bodily functions, and a whole new awareness of angels.

sinfonia di luce by mishcollin. 1K, PG-13. When you first met, you remember, he blew the lights out.

Sing a Song of Sex Puns by Persephoneshadow. 33K, NC-17. That one verse where Dean and Cas are good at talking during sex but not about the fact they're having sex.

Soldiers of the Dust by nyoka. 6K, NC-17. Sometimes in the dark they touch.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me by ellispark. 46K, R/NC-17. Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight. Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there.

Still Life by catchclaw. 16K, NC-17. Dean'd always thought that falling in love was a capital letter kind of thing, an Important Event you carved into the calendar of your life and never, ever forgot. But with he and Cas, it wasn't that simple.

Sum of My Regrets by LoveIsNotAVictoryMarch. 21K, R. In which Dean Winchester travels through time, learns a thing or two about best laid plans, and falls in love with an angel -- all over again.

Take Me Home Country Roads by saltyfeathers. 125K, R/NC-17. Dean dies with the Mark of Cain on his arm, waking up with black eyes and hellfire licking at his heels. Cas, sick on the stolen grace that's rotting inside him, gives chase. As his pursuit and Dean's evasion ebbs and flows, they begin to figure out the difference between marks given and marks received, and what it means when one such mark is faded but not forgotten.

ten thousand words by bree_black. 13K, NC-17. In 2009, a man who claims to speak to God gives the not-quite-an-angel-anymore Castiel his Polaroid camera. “Use it wisely,” he warns. “Cameras are a strange sort of magic. They hold on to the energy of the moments they capture and keep it alive past its time. That’s why we should only take photographs of our happiest moments. There’s no sense prolonging our pain or sadness, but love and joy are worth saving.” During the next five years, Castiel superstitiously takes nine photographs of his happiest moments. When a second Dean arrives from the past, Castiel knows he’s been sent to witness something catastrophic, something so terrible Zachariah believes it will scare Dean into accepting his destiny. He senses the end is near, but Castiel can’t quite bring himself to take the final photograph. Dean does it for him.

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays. 20K, R/NC-17. Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

These Are Not Real Problems by scaramouche. 31K, NC-17. Castiel used to be a god. Dean took that away from him, and now Castiel's stuck in a hell of his own making.

This is just one version of the way it could go by zelda_zee. 9K, PG-13. There are as many ways that this story could go as there are writers of this pairing. This is just one version.

This Isn't Where We Intended to Be by PorcupineGirl. 14K, NC-17. Fallen, Castiel struggles to figure out where he fits in the human world—and in Dean's life.

This Story Needs More Power Ballads by pyrebi. 3K, PG-13. In which Dean has an angelic boyfriend and Sam is a better brother than anyone gives him credit for.

Three Is the Magic Number by Persephoneshadow. 7K, NC-17. The one where Dean and Cas have a threesome with the cute waitress because Dean can't deal. (What it says on the tin, but it is endgame D/C.)

Tripping by Hatteress. 49K, NC-17. That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Trope Springs Eternal by VioletHaze. 41K, NC-17. Dean's in love with Cas. Cas is in love with Dean. That much is obvious to everyone who sees them. But instead of acting on it, these two idiots seem bound and determined to score gold medals in the pining olympics. The staring, the longing, the unresolved sexual tension that's strong enough to combust and engulf the planet…is there anything that can push them out of their safe, cowardly positions? Leaving them to their own devices hasn't worked so maybe it's time to pull out the big guns.

True North by zatnikatel. 4K, NC-17. “You’re fundamental to me,” he murmurs. “You always have been.”

The Tunnel of Love by xylodemon. 21K, NC-17. "We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss." Dean just stares at him.

a turn of the earth by mishcollin. 95K, NC-17. In which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.

Twelve Arches Facing the Sea by MajorEnglishEsquire. 43K, NC-17. If Cas says anything else, Dean can't hear it. There's a hand over his face, a wetness at his mouth, and the volcano's deafening silence rushing through his head like pyroclastic flow, like a landslide rolling over everything in sight and drowning it in death.

The Unmade Bed by 60r3d0m. 5K, R. He’s only three steps down the hallway when he turns back. He’s three steps away and he’s anxious and his heart’s beating fast and then three more steps and he’s back and he...he doesn't know what he's about to say. Cas has moved since he left. He’s wandered over to the little Men of Letters safe that’s in Dean’s room and Cas’ fingers are running over the metal. “You can’t leave,” Dean says, because of course that's what comes out of his goddamn mouth. “You stupid son of a bitch, you can’t leave anymore, alright?”

Unsuffer Me by janie_tangerine. 22K, NC-17. After the end of the world I just wanted to rest and chill out, not to re-build my life from scratch around the fact that I can’t hear shit and that I look like the fucking Phantom of the Opera.

Untitled by proxydialogue. 1K, PG. Sam had never heard (or read) a definition of love that didn’t bore him to tears.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi. 4K, PG-13. In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

The Vessel by chellefic. 8K, NC-17. When his vessel goes missing, Castiel turns to Dean for help.

Veteran by liadan14. 8K, R. Dean's been thinking about changing things much more often recently, what with Cas being around the way he is now, and with what Ellen left him in her will.

victorious secret by mishcollin. 4K, NC-17. Cas has a surprise gift for Dean, which turns out nicely for both of them, in the end.

We Are Such Stuff by inevitablethief. 62K, NC-17. Dean and Sam are apparently captured by a djinn, but, while their mutual fantasy world gives Sam the life he'd always wanted, Dean finds himself in a world fueled by desires he'd yet to let himself admit. Faced with his unspoken feelings for Castiel, Dean may be unable to resist temptation.

We Both Kinda Liked It by elizajane. 14K, NC-17. A panty fic that's only marginally about the panties.

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon. 15K, NC-17. Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

We still want to be reminded (that the pain is worth the plunder) by blue_fjords. 12K, NC-17. Sam and Dean's first case after Sam gets his soul back leads them to rural Maryland. There's pie, an old naked guy, and a little less angst then you'll find on the show.

We Were Promised Mermaids by shireberries. 2K, NC-17. “Seriously, Sam?” Dean whines, already sweating in his jeans and boots. “The honeymoon suite?”

what fun it all would be by 8sword. 23K, R. Nothing dies in Purgatory, but they are forever finding corpses. (I feel the need to note this is the lone fic on both lists with an unhappy ending. But if you’re in the mood for some heartbreak, it’s wonderful.)

What Has Eight Tentacles and Isn't Allowed to Eat Pie? by scaramouche. 16K, PG. Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.

When the Bough Breaks by captainshakespear and deanisthesun. 74K, R. Years after the Darkness has been defeated, Dean and Cas are living the apple pie life in small-town Kansas. They don’t hunt anymore, and would like to keep it that way, but some young hunters knocking at their door have different plans. Dean, Cas and Sam reluctantly agree to help out, but what ought to be a simple case becomes way more complicated and dangerous than they counted on. And when the hunt starts to invade the normal lives they've carved out for themselves and their kids, Dean and Cas begin to wonder if escaping the hunting life altogether might have been wishful thinking.

where the weeds take root by beenghosting. 30K, NC-17. “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

Where your treasure is. by orange_crushed. 2K, PG-13. He blinks the sleep away from his eyes and looks down and finds Castiel kneeling on the floor, holding Dean’s naked foot in both hands, his palm cupped under the heel. He’s still wearing the dorky snowflake sweater Dean bought him as a joke, but now there’s a towel tied around his waist, too; one of the bath sheets from the shower room. Behind him, the television plays an infomercial for holiday bakeware.

Who If I Cried Out Would Hear Me by misachan. 7K, PG-13. Dean goes missing on a hunt; Castiel can hear him but can't find him, and longer the situation drags on the unhappier Cas gets. An angry angel of the Lord is not someone to be messed with.

with these aching bones by casfallsinlove. 5K, NC-17. The lakehouse they’re renting is less of a house and more of a cabin, a little rundown around the edges with leafy green tendrils creeping up the windows and tangling in the splintered wood. The front door sticks when Dean pushes it, the pale blue paint cracked and peeling, and the inside smells strongly of the wet sand they dragged in with them on the bottom of their boots.

Zenith by anactoria. 33K, NC-17. Still relatively new to humanity, Castiel struggles with both Dean’s confusing behaviour and the loss of his angelic faculties. When a pissed-off witch restores his ability to see the supernatural, the curse seems like a blessing. He can help his friends again – and when Dean’s lies blow up in his face and Sam is once again left hovering between life and death, Cas is happy to be useful. But his abilities keep getting stronger, and they might just be more than a human brain can handle.

AU

All the Way by cadignan. 81K, NC-17. Castiel spends the first two weeks of college in much the same way he spent the previous years: alone with his books. He’s fine with it—he enrolled in college to learn, after all. Then in his first chemistry lab, he has the bad luck of being paired with snide, good-for-nothing Ruby, and the further misfortune of sitting behind Dean Winchester, the world’s most beautiful distraction. Ruby catches Castiel staring at Dean and makes him an offer.

Any Little Heartbreak by followthattardis. 77K, NC-17. Dean Winchester knows everything there is to know about the human heart. Well. Anatomically speaking.

Asunder by rageprufrock. 24K, NC-17. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Bird of Paradise by trinityofone. 34K, R. When Sam Campbell is chosen as a tribute for the Games—an annual fight to the death between twenty-four of New Eden's unlucky children—his older brother Dean volunteers to take his place. Dean fully expects to die so that Sam can live, but once he enters the arena, Dean discovers that what's at stake in the Games is far more complicated than simple life and death, and nothing and no one is what they seem.

The Breath of All Things by KismetJeska. 65K, PG-13. Dean Winchester was twenty-six years old when a car accident killed his father and left him paralysed from the waist down. A year and a half later, Dean is in a wheelchair and lives in a care home in Kansas, where he spends his days waiting to die. It's only when Castiel Novak starts volunteering at the care home that Dean starts to wonder if a changed life always equals a ruined one.

Broadway Musical by Griftings. 12K, R. The romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general. (Only sort of AU, but entirely hilarious.)

Carnival Oasis by violue. 43K, NC-17. The adventures of Dean Winchester and his sin eating boyfriend.

A Chip on My Shoulder and a Halo on My Head by thepinupchemist. 6K, NC-17. Dean finally meets the professor that Sam has been talking up for the entire semester and can't help but think the guy is a total dick. A sandwich, a plaid shirt, and one hell of a first date later, Dean has to admit...he was so, so very wrong.

Clean Air by anactoria. 122K, NC-17. Centuries after the surface of the earth was devastated by an unknown disaster, the remnants of humanity live in a series of vast underground silos, each unaware of the existence of the others. For the inhabitants of Silo 34, the silo is the world, and the only world they know. Questions about the outside world are forbidden, and asking them is what got Dean Winchester's parents killed. He isn't even sure himself that they weren't crazy. That all changes when he hears a voice on the radio -- a voice from another world. (My fave.)

Convenient Husbands by scaramouche. 39K, NC-17. "It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

(Dis)Affection by justkeeponwriting. 74K, NC-17. When Dean and Castiel are tricked to go on a date, neither is happy about this. To get back at their deceitful friends, they hatch the perfect plan: pretend to be dating, and gross out their friends with their over-the-top, disgustingly cute romantic relationship – and then break up in the most despicable manner imaginable. As it turns out, you can learn a lot from someone just by pretending affection.

Florence 'verse by ShastaFirecracker. 143K, NC-17. Castiel Novak, anthropology professor and recent divorcee; a half-drunk hookup with the bartender from his brother's bachelor party; cue the morning after, with full attendant nudity, awkwardness, walking into doors, and running into one of his students at the worst possible time.

For Science! by pm_lo. 23K, NC-17. Selected transcripts and supporting materials from Dr. Castiel Williams and Dean Winchester’s seminal study on physiological and psychological sexual response by gender designation. (a/b/o.)

Go Down With This Ship by PorcupineGirl. 31K, NC-17. Since he has to stay deep in the closet to protect his job as a children’s librarian in conservative Wichita, Kansas, Dean’s main outlet for sexual frustration is writing and reading slash fiction for his favorite show, Devil Boys. When he starts corresponding with AngelofThursday, another male slash writer in his ship, he really is just looking for friendship… but when it seems like more might be on the table, he’s not going to turn it down. If only he didn’t also have a crush on Cas, the hot volunteer at his library branch…

Good Hands by aileenrose. 13K, R. Cas is the owner of a failing—and falling apart—B&B. Dean might be able to help with that. Dean’s good with his hands.

Grown-Ups Making Grown-Up Choices by Carrieosity. 81K, NC-17. Dean is a grown-ass man - he can take perfectly good care of himself, thank you very much. Except that sometimes the easier or more fun choices aren't always the right or best ones, and, all right, maybe thinking ahead and working the long game isn't his strongest suit. It's fine! He's fine. When he meets Castiel, he realizes that flying by the seat of his pants may not be the best way to attract the super-serious (gorgeous, funny, genius) Alpha. Dean's shrink has been telling him he needs to start making "grown-up choices," and if that's what he has to think about in order to make Cas fall for him, then he'll give it a whirl.

Have Love, Will Travel by squeemonster. 94K, NC-17. Castiel Novak is a reclusive writer with a childhood so tragic it's left him terrified to leave his home—until his overbearing brother, Gabriel, drags him out for a night on the town full of booze and strip clubs, and he encounters Dean Winchester, a mesmerizing and mysterious stripper with secrets of his own. Both men find themselves inexplicably drawn to each other, and soon Dean's private dances for Castiel become much more, as both men confess their troubles and find solace in each other's company. But neither can seem to find the courage to take their relationship further than the intimacy of the club's VIP Room—and just when Dean's own brother gives him the excuse he needs to finally admit his feelings, Dean discovers something that brings it all crumbling down. Will they find a way past their demons and their trust issues, and back to each other?

Into Your Hideaway by thepinupchemist. 177K, NC-17. Driving down a deserted road in the Rocky Mountains, Castiel finds something unexpected: An omega. Not only an omega, but a naked, injured, pregnant omega. Dean doesn't talk much at first, but that doesn't change the brightness of his soul. It also doesn't stop Castiel from falling in love with him.

Jeté by cadignan. 11K, NC-17. Castiel has been photographing their ballet company for two years now and he and Dean have barely exchanged six words, and yet somehow when Dean breaks his leg, it's Castiel who takes him home from the hospital and takes care of him.

Just Turn Around and Go by PorcupineGirl. 11K, NC-17. Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives. It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas.

Kingdom Come by cheesewithmy. 98K, R/NC-17. Dean’s life is all work. He’s either at the bar that’s been left to him, serving drinks and cooking with his friend and partner Benny, or tinkering with prosthetic limbs. The rest of his life is one unhappy mess after another. Finding a stranger in the bathroom of his bar, after hours, doesn’t necessarily improve anything. (The author deleted all their work, but if you follow the link there's a download there.)

Kiss the Baker by Ltleflrt. 113K, NC-17. Jo is pregnant and craving something a little bit unusual. When she sends Dean on a mission to find her some chocolate cake donuts with bacon sprinkles, he's sure that he'll fail. Luckily his partner Benny comes to his rescue and introduces him to a quirky little bakery that sells all kinds of weird (and delicious!) baked goods. And they do special orders! Dean finds excuses to keep going back, and Castiel finds excuses to keep giving him special treats.

Like a Parched Land by Las. 9K, NC-17. Reverse!verse: Castiel is the Righteous Man and Dean is the angel who drags his ass out of Hell.

Like Real People by charvelle. 135K, NC-17. Though he's determined never to admit it, the only thing Dean's ever wanted was an Apple Pie Life: it's something that's been dangled in front of his face, though he's certain he could never deserve it. While Dean struggles to come to terms with the isolated, lonely life he's made for himself, a disruption comes in the form of Castiel Novak, Lawrence Private's newest faculty member. Those blue eyes and raspy voice are things Dean can't ignore for long, and when he's forced to stop fighting his affections, Dean finds his lonely life turned upside down. Is it possible he could deserve an Apple Pie Life after all?

Living in Agony by ChasingRabbits. 120K, NC-17. Dean Winchester's life is... well, it's not great. He's a gym teacher, he's in his thirties, and he can't seem to keep any part of his life straight. When the aftermath of a one-night stand goes awry, Dean is dragged kicking and screaming out of his cozy little closet and into the harsh light of reality. Enter: Castiel Novak, the new history teacher, who knows full well that life gets crappy when you don't allow yourself to live it in the way it needs to be lived.

Long Nights in Cold Months by pyrebi. 2K, PG-13. When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.

Out to Drift by beenghosting. 21K, R. Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before.

Plus One by ceeainthereforthat. 91K, NC-17. Castiel Novak might have to attend three weddings in two months, but he’s not about to let his brother play matchmaker. His family’s Internet streaming company is too important to let a relationship steal his time, but he knows exactly what to do–hire someone to pretend to be his boyfriend. Dean Winchester has worked five-star hospitality long enough to know how to fit in with Castiel’s crowd, and this job could score him the connections to make his acting career take off. It’s a business deal, no matter how they’re drawn to each other. When the lines of their contract start to blur into real feelings, can they withstand Castiel’s family and jealous fans working to split them up?

Reckless and Free by GotTheSilver. 29K, NC-17. There’s a photo hanging in the hall of the Winchester home, Dean’s maybe three years old, and he’s on his dad’s bike, hands gripping the handlebars with a big grin on his face. Next to it, his mom and dad’s wedding photo, dad with his kutte and mom with a tight-ass dress on, looking like they had the world at their feet. Him and Sammy, in another photo, playing with toy guns and his mom laughing in the background. Then, Cas and Dean at fifteen and sixteen respectively, hands clasped tightly, sitting on the hood of the Impala and making faces at the camera. It’s a simple little bundle of his past, present, and future in a life that isn’t ever simple.

The Request by cloudyjenn. 37K, PG-13. When Sam Winchester prays for his brother, Castiel is finally sent on his very first assignment. But what should be a simple love match turns into much more and Castiel finds himself risking everything to ensure the happiness of his extremely frustrating charge.

Run Boy Run by DarcyDelaney. 42K, PG-13. Cas likes to run. He likes that it’s something he can do alone whenever he wants, something to clear his head and decrease his anxiety. All that changes when his sister, Anna, volunteers him to be a guide for a blind runner who wants to participate in the Boston Marathon. Cas is completely, totally, 100% against this at first, but once he meets said runner, the snarky and (if Cas is being honest) ridiculously attractive Dean Winchester, he starts to have a change of heart. Maybe running with a partner won’t be so bad after all.

Shoulder to Shoulder, Hand to Hand by cornelius. 58K, PG-13. After release of his memoir, the last thing former fighter pilot Castiel wanted was more time in the spotlight. But when a chance comes up to be on a celebrity ballroom dancing competition show, he knows that drawing attention to his cause is more important than his own comfort. Dean’s danced on Ballroom Superstars for nine seasons without a single win under his belt. With his tenth season coming up, and a man for his partner, he worries that the championship is forever out of his reach. Castiel and Dean both want to win for their own reasons, but they’ll have to figure out how to work together, and manage their mutual attraction, if they want to become the new Ballroom Superstars champions.

Some Day Soon by Persephoneshadow. 11K, NC-17. Castiel doesn't mind his job as lawyer just like he doesn't mind that he's alone on Christmas Eve and working on Christmas Day. That's just the way life is - a dull slog of work and duty and not much else. The only thing he wishes he could change is to maybe get up the nerve to really talk to Dean Winchester, the gorgeous process server who Castiel has harbored a crush on for months. But maybe with a little meddling and some holiday magic, they'll both get what they want for Christmas.

Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) by kototyph. 24K, NC-17. Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.

Till Human Voices Wake Us by saltandbyrne. 21K, NC-17. In a world of hippogriffs, hydras and flying pygmy elephants, intrepid explorer Dean Winchester was sure he had seen it all. When a monster destroys the only home he's ever known, Dean finds himself falling for his strange rescuer and struggling to face his past.

What Happened in Vegas by Ltleflrt. 18K, NC-17. Long time friends Dean and Castiel are road tripping from Chicago to San Diego for Sam and Eileen’s wedding, and a pitstop in Las Vegas turns into drunken love confessions and a surprise marriage. Turns out the pining has been mutual this whole time, but now they’re finally together and on cloud-fucking-nine. Until they remember that this trip isn’t supposed to be about them. To avoid undermining Sam and Eileen’s important weekend, they decide to keep their new relationship status a secret. They’ll keep the heart eyes toned down and their hands to themselves, but the struggle is real.

[tinkdw]

oh and do u think that dean/cas could be interpreted as brotherly affection? its a complex question cos cas doesnt really know what (human) family is and dean has only really had sam as a long term family member (excluding bobby + we dont talk about adam lmao)

Dean and Cas: 

A brother/buddy or a romantic relationship?

I just literally just had this conversation with @godshipsit & @floralmotif today :)

So, according to Truby’s Character Technique we have a difference between a romance and a buddy story which are the 2 relationships he talks about (I take brothers as buddies as the key is the romance part and, just, no) that I will summarise here (full details follow the link):

1. Love story: The central concept of love stories is quite profound. Love stories say that a person does not become a true individual by being alone. A person becomes a unique and authentic individual only by entering into a community of two. It is through the love of the other that each person grows and becomes his or her deepest self.

(PS IM DYING AT THE USE OF THE WORD PROFOUND. I CANNOT FLAIL ANYMORE. IM DEAD).

2. Buddy story: The buddy strategy allows you essentially to cut the hero into two parts, showing two different approaches to life and two sets of talents. These two characters are “married” into a team in such a way that the audience can see their differences but also see how these differences actually help them work well together, so that the whole becomes greater than the sum of the parts. As in the love story, one of the buddies should be more central than the other. The buddy is a kind of double of the hero, similar in important ways but also different. 

These are quite similar but there is a clear line between the two:

The community of two: It is through the love of the other that each person grows and becomes his or her deepest self. They have a deep, profound impact on the CORE CHARACTERISTICS of the other, not one or two top level changes / improvements to their character but it goes deep, to the CORE of what we characterise them as.

Note how relevant this difference between the romantic v brotherly/buddy relationship is to Sam/Dean who are kind of a weird amalgamation between the two for narrative reasons of this show, but remember that the endgame for Sam and Dean is different, they want different things (I could bang on about this for hours, but it's canon, it's repeatedly and consistently referenced on both sides through the years to hammer the point home) therefore their endgames are in fact to END the codependency and have a happy healthy relationship apart from each other,or at least, not on top of each other and not codependent. 

Thus they can’t enter a community of two and become their deepest selves together, which makes perfect sense because they haven’t yet done it in 12 years of being together, precicely because they’re both holding each other back (see every time Sam tries to get out of hunting and Dean drags him back in, see every time Dean gets close to Cas and looks warily at Sam before no-homo-ing his way out etc etc etc).

So, you must detail the needs of both characters at the beginning of the story…

~ Dean doesn’t have faith in God, Angels or himself 

~ Cas is a soldier and Angel of the Lord with authority issues, used as a soldier but he canonically just wants to help and save people when given the chance

~ Dean has abandonment issues 

~ Cas wants somewhere to belong

- Dean has codependency issues with his brother and sexuality / various character repression issues from his childhood

~ God makes Dean pancakes and has faith in Dean because Dean is the ‘firewall between Light and Darkness’, Dean represents Free Will and Humanity, Dean and Cas came to Chuck and Cas told him ‘we’re making up as we go’, because Dean taught him Free Will (the circle is complete, it completes me *satisfied face*). 

~ Dean starts to believe in himself and has faith in/textually prays to Cas 

~ Cas rebels and does it, all of it, for Dean  

~ Cas ignores God and has faith in Dean 

~ Cas always comes back to Dean

~ Cas knows he belongs with Dean and Sam (they’re his family). He becomes part of TFW: hunting things, saving people, the family business.

~ I also believe Dean’s codependency issues and repression issues are being addressed this season, these are more relevant to Mary though, but they absolutely are relevant to Cas and I really do see him coming into play around the sexuality issue of course but also as Cas is canonically supportive of Dean in his lowest moments and Dean opens to him more than anyone, see the Gadreel torture scene, the burger date etc etc (and Crowley to a point, who is a Cas mirror).

In conclusion, Dean and Cas are canonically central to each other’s CORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and their endgames are INTERLINKED.

[amwritingmeta]

Cas’ Deciding Moment in S13 (this is so Wild Spec)

Please, please, don’t read this if the idea of human!Cas in any way upsets you, okay? I’m not writing this post to anger or appall. This is entirely my own speculation regarding Cas’ arc this season, based in my own hopes for his character progression. I know how much we all love him, and I sincerely don’t want to get anyone in a slapping-faces-because-I-can’t-take-this-shit type of mood. You may slap me if you forego this plea and read this post and want to slap me. *perhaps this post is a ploy to get people to slap me* *shhhhh*

What I Hope Happens to Cas, in Some Narrative Shape or Form, in S13:

1. I hope we see, or it’s implied, that he’s faced with a choice in the Empty and that it’s his own choice to go back to Earth fully-fledged.

2. I hope this is the right choice made for the wrong reasons, meaning–

–to go fight a war –to raise Jack right –to protect the people he loves –Cas once more dresses himself as the weapon, believing, as ever, that his grace, his wings, his powers are the only things about him that will make him a force to be reckoned with –Cas still believing this is true makes returning fully-fledged a choice made for the wrong reasons –but it’s the right choice because Cas has to come back fully-fledged in order to finally gain perspective on what his grace, his wings, his powers really are, what they’ve always been: a yoke, something to hold him back and keep him in his place, a place he’s never chosen for himself, merely been duty bound to.

3. I hope, at some point this season, that fully-fledged, reset, BAMF Castiel is faced with this truth and that it’s delivered through a situational challenge–

–that situational challenge could be Cas being told to bow down to Heaven fully (a Heaven possibly under the new direction of the fanatical Michael, if he crosses over between worlds)  –in this situational challenge, Cas finds himself reminded of Naomi’s brainwashing, of her saying he came off the assembly line wrong, and finally he’ll begin to see his powers for what they really are: a weakness. –I hope that whatever the circumstances surrounding this situation is - hopefully one that is overtly dramatic and foreshadowed - they serve to lead Cas into doing what Anna did, that the circumstances lead to him cutting off his wings and choosing to become human, because he refuses to serve Heaven for another second.

(as he’s already in a vessel we’ll just forget about Anna falling from Heaven and being separated from her grace etc.) (I’d love for Cas’ humanity to be wholly an individual experience… but, again, not terribly fussed)

4. I hope human!Cas happens, and I hope he happens sooner than later, because to me it feels imperative to his character progression that he takes this leap and faces this oncoming war as a human.

This also makes sense to me where the narrative stakes are concerned –>

–> fully-fledged Cas poses a problem because he more or less negates the stakes (the brothers are never in peril of death when they can call out for Superman… sorry, for Cas and he appears) so to have him come back in order to guide Jack in how to open up the rift, for example, and have Cas with his angel mojo back, only to pull that safety rug out from under him in some way… oh it could be beautiful and so fitting for his individual arc.

5. It also gives me this immediate sense of balance because of the Battle of the Brothers angle, where - if we get human!Cas - Michael represents Heaven, Lucifer Hell and Cas Humanity, all three of these concepts knitted together in Jack, who is also the knitting point for TFW, while TFW - with human!Cas onboard - are completely equal for the first time ever (since there’s no cock blocker angel named Gadreel to put the power of Heaven in Sam).

But leaving that for another post.

6. I have a second scenario in mind, where Cas’ refusal to bow to Michael (because he’s powerful enough to do rip another angel’s wings off…) makes Michael do just that - tear off Cas’ wings - and tell him that if he loves man more than his family, he can live and die as a man.

Cas having the choice stripped off him, like it was stripped by Metatron, would serve as punishment for not learning his lessons and choosing to come back fully-fledged, his forced humanity enabling him to learn his final lessons so that he can reject an offer of his powers restored to him by the end of the series.

But I’d rather he makes the BAMF choice for himself now.

They could still have him grappling with it, with the enormity of it, but also show him embracing his new existence even more than he did in the previous human!Cas arc.

7. I love the idea of all this tying into Dean’s freak-out in 12x20, where he did not see Cas looking back at him. The way I see it, the guy he did see was Castiel, which was why he was so utterly freaked: all that growth reduced to nothingness and Cas, his Cas, gone. Dean saw this BAMF Angel of the Lord, who was reliably unreliable and came and went as he pleased, who was such an overwhelming, startling, breathtaking presence that Dean tried - and most often than not failed - to bring him down to Earth as his Cas was burned away. (wrong of course - all wrong wrong wrong) (but it’s an intriguing thread that they might be playing with here)

So, yeah, I think we’re getting Castiel back not only because it’s important he goes through this final stage before his transformation can actually be complete and his choice to become human feels fully informed by the shit-fest that is Heaven, but because Cas returning as BAMF Warrior of Heaven on a mission to protect Jack is going to throw Dean off completely. 

I mean, Dean won’t know what the fuck to do, right?

He’ll be so ecstatic to have Cas back and alive, and he IS Cas… and still, he isn’t. I can’t wait to see what they do with it!! It’s a remarkably effective way to slow the love story down, now that Dean is poised for self-examination and real fucking growth. If Cas had come back human then, yeah, the way that they’re truly going balls out with Destiel this season means it simply would not have worked. But if Cas is fully-fledged and becomes human by episode… idk, timelines are so fucking hard, but say by 13x12… 

Oh my God, the brain delights if we get that slow build between human!Cas and Dean. Like super slow. Like the human!Cas arc and all the innuendo and flirtation was like a blitz view of what they could be like if both were feeling somewhat on equal footing. 

And do you know what else it might mean, if this wild speculation is even in the ballpark of what is up ahead for Cas and Dean?

It might mean that they are building the love story from scratch, tying it back to the beginning for more callbacks than in 12x19, more callbacks that aren’t just spot-it-if-you-know-it, but that actually draws on that old amazingly taut chemistry between these two men, who are so alike and equally stubborn and omfg it could be glorious. Thelma and Louise moments, PLEASE, give us loads of Thelma and Louise moments. Awkward!Dean is my sweet cherry pie!! (and yours too I bet) (if you like sweet cherry) They would do this to ease the GA into the very real realness of how these two men are meant to be together.

I’ve said all this before, many many times, but I’ll say it again and again because goddamnit if this isn’t where this is headed. *hat-eatage*

Here’s what I see: 

I see them pushing Dean’s character progression so that, once Cas comes back, Dean is ready to relate to him differently. The fact that Cas has had a reset should, absolutely, give Dean pause, and Cas pause, too, but my hope is that Dean is way too far gone now to even start back peddling. He’s in love with Cas and he has, by some miracle, gotten Cas back, so Dean will try to, awkwardly, show his feelings. Dean wants to show this angel that he matters to him. And it’ll be tentative as all fuck, and it’ll be scary, too, but Dean won’t back down because, damnit, he lost Cas once and he cannot do it again.

((The strain on Dean of fully-fledged Cas fluttering in and out, though. Oh man. And will Cas start out with ties to Heaven again, or purely Jack?? What about that smiley angel who stood by his dead body on that table? What’s her play?? Will Cas’ possible ties to Heaven grow and solidify as the episodes roll by? Oh so much fun!! They can have so much fun with this!!))

I see them reliving Cas and Dean’s greatest hits, putting them face to face in long silent stares and Sam somewhere nearby clearing his throat. While Jack observes them, entranced and fascinated. And of course there’ll be head butting and I really really want protective!Dean, wether Cas is an angel or not, because Cas has died - every time except for one - as an angel, so his powers don’t exactly mean he’s invulnerable and the last time he damn near died for good so Cas can just stay behind him, thanks very much. Ohhhhh. PLEASE PLEASE. We want it! We all want it!!

Keep them together! Please. If it’s made sweet and irresistible and undeniable, the GA will be as enamoured with them as the rest of us have always been. And if they’re not - FUCK THEM. My God, Dean and Cas deserve this. They both deserve to be happy!! Together! But the deciding moment will be when Cas decides, for himself, to become human, and the beauty of the above setup is that even if we see Dean trying to show Cas how he feels, fully-fledged and utterly graced Cas will not be able to relate to Dean’s flirtation (I mean, hell, even very humanised Cas in S12 still squinted at Mandy flirting with him in the absolutely most audacious manner one can flirt with another person) and the love story won’t kick off before Cas is human.

And once he is human, well, then there’s the fear as an obstacle to overcome because, all of a sudden, the thought of a future together will seem very real. And possibly probably very, very, very scary. :P *crossing fingers and toes*

I so see positive endgame, my peeps. All the way!!

[astermacguffin]

WARNING: This is very much A Post. This is certainly A Post. You've been warned.

Okay, so. I wanna combine my Destiel 2.0 agenda (the ship between Dean—Sam's son—and Garth's son, Castiel) with This Poast™ to create the most awful AU I can think of lol.

So. Ummm. Dean's dead, right? So Sam and Cas end up bonding over their grief and they have grief sex and what do you know? They have a baby now. (Up to you if want Cas in a female vessel or if you want Jimmy's body to endure mpreg for the third time. The important thing is that they have a nephil now and they fucking name him Dean because they're not normal people. Sastiel rights, I guess??????)

They raise Dean Jr. in a way that lets him have a choice between hunting or a normal life. (He swings both ways—pun intended—in honor of his namesake). In one hunt, Dean meets Garth's son, Castiel. They start working together: cue another decade long slow burn gay romance, but this time between a nephil and a werewolf.

Here's a list of things I wanna see in a fic set in this au:

I want Dean to be able to see what's happening on Earth. I want to see Dean's reaction in finding out his brother and his best friend having a fucking baby.

I wanna see how Dean, Cas, and Sam reacts to Destiel 2.0 and how it unfolds over time. Will it also end up a tragedy? Will they have a happy ending?

Oh, just to be clear, Sam and Eileen still end up together in this au. In fact, Eileen kinda finds it hilarious that Sam impregnates Cas while she was Gone Somewhere. (Don't ask me where she was during their grief arc and why Sam didn't know she was alive, shit happened okay? Plot reasons lol)

If we wanna go with the tragedy path, I can see two options, both of them inspired by the B-plots from a fic by @sobsicles

First, we have the bittersweet option where they end up with a heaven endgame, just like what happens in this sobsicles fic that originally inspired my obsession with Destiel 2.0.

The other, full on tragic option is inspired by the gay erotica subplot in this recent sobsicles fic (where Dean reads gay erotica about an angel and a human and gets upset by the book's ending). Destiel 2.0 gets a similar ending, which upsets the original ones even more.

I honestly forgot the original point of this post, I genuinely lost the fucking plot lol. Is this a comedy? A tragedy? An excuse to make Cas pregnant a third time? I don't know. @autisticandroids how do you feel about this Poast

Evil post incoming, im sorry

[amwritingmeta]

Since Sam and Dean don't exist in au, Michael and Lucifer definitely skipped the true vessel bs then went to war with angels and demons in their true forms (angel blades sticking out of the ground proves it). That means au Cas is in his true form and Jimmy Novak is probably dead in a ditch somewhere. I hate the idea of Jack resurrecting Cas cause that'd be too easy and basically turns him into god. So when Misha comes back, how can they bring Cas back with him?

Nonny 1: i saw the ask in which the Anon is wondering if they would make Misha play AU Cas, but i don’t believe they would do that, in fact it really wouldn’t make a lick of sense, because Cas in that AU aint Cas, what made Cas the angel we know and love is that he was the one who pulled Dean out of hell, Dean who changed him and taught him free will, and in that AU dean was never born to begin with, so AU Cas would be just an angel.

Nonny 2: Hello! I was wondering about the possibilities and any possible theories on the bizzaro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world. Do you think that it could be explored, or that we might see AU! Cas? Not as in an outright replacement, but maybe 1 or 2 episodes with him as a commander of a garrison of angels? You’re by far one of the most optimistic meta writers I’ve met and I really need some happy speculation to get me through hellatus. Sorry if you’ve covered this before. Thanks!

Hello, lovelies!

So, three wonderful asks that all have to do with this AU World that’s been so suddenly thrown into the mix. I’m glad I get to tackle this topic! Thanks fawert and Nonnies! (and forgive my reply taking sooo long!)

The basis for the following speculation is that I believe the narrative is closing as the writers are moving it towards endgame. Everything in S11-S12 is telling me this because S11 began the movement by forcing Dean Winchester to admit to himself that he is properly, truly, madly and deeply in love with Cas. Read more on my thoughts about this here.

In short:

Dean Winchester is our Protagonist

His character growth is what informs the narrative

He wouldn’t have been set on this particular path of character growth if he hadn’t met Cas

Dean’s growth is what is allowing him to let go of Sam, ending the brodependency, and granting him the insight to find his true self-worth, through self-acceptance

His self-acceptance has a whole lot to do with letting go of his toxic masculinity spiel

His letting go of this will be most clearly demonstrated by him fully embracing the fact that he’s in love with a man

Happiness with the man he loves is Dean’s reward for completing his character growth, reaching the internal goal of his character arc: which is self-acceptance

(yeah) (he knows)

Now, I don’t know that this is where they’re taking the narrative, okay? Let me be perfectly clear about that. No one knows exactly what they’re planning (except the fuckers themselves) and they might go absolutely crazy in order to drag the narrative out for six more seasons.

However - and this is a big however, you guys - the writers have consistently, and with extreme due diligence, built a slow-burning love story between Dean and Cas that is beginning to peak - that’s what S12 gave us - meaning that going absolutely crazy to drag this love story out will jar with everything that’s come before.

Let’s not forget that our story is about love, and sacrifice, and love.

Love is mentioned twice by Metatron because our story has always been foremost about love.

The love between the brothers and the love between Dean and Cas. Without all that love - no sacrifice. (or manpain) (oh the manpain)

The fact of the matter is that the love between the brothers was set up from season one to evolve beyond their brodependency, and it would never have done that if it hadn’t been for Cas affecting Dean’s character growth. 

I know I’ve said it before, but hell, let’s say it again: 

the Destiel love story is integral to the narrative because it informs Dean’s character arc. 

And Dean is our Protagonist. 

His character arc informs the entire narrative and every single secondary character arc within it. Including Sam’s. It’s true!

Here’s a very recent example that proves it:

Dean shooting off that grenade launcher, and tearing down that first symbolic wall in 12x22, is what set off the amazing steps away from the brodependency that both brothers had managed by the end of 12x23. 

Dean shooting off the grenade launcher:

a) injured Dean, which brought him tob) telling Sam to go lead the attack on the BMoL without him

I could meta about the symbolism here until my fingers go numb, but this is not the post for that, safe to say: Dean tearing down walls is what led to him letting go of parenting!Dean, finally seeing Sam as the adult he is and being able to place his full faith in his little brother’s ability to manage by himself, and to lead, without Dean there to watch over him or guide him.

Fuck. Yes.

But to surmise: it was Dean the Protagonist who had to let Sam go - Sam couldn’t break free from Dean on his own.

Because Dean is the one who, primarily, needs to learn the big lessons that the narrative have been setting up for him through his character arc.

So my point is:

if they hurt the Destiel love story 

this love story, which is the very cornerstone of Dean’s character growth

by turning the tables and stalling said love story by, oh, I don’t know

bringing Cas back, but as a different character 

a character that doesn’t actually know Dean or have the shared history with him that our Cas does

->then they hurt the entire narrative they have built

And I cannot for the life of me believe that they would ever do that.

Not after nine years of carefully keeping this love story burning, removing a few coals now and again so that it wouldn’t flame up and singe the more delicate viewers, but still allowing it enough air to spread a lovely, warm glow, and (okay, enough of that now) (fine)

But you get my meaning here? Let’s boil my meaning down even further:

AU!Cas would effectively kill the love story

which would severely damage the overall narrative

would rob Dean and, by extension, Cas of their endgame rewards

which would cancel out the deeper purpose for all of Dean and Cas’ character growth

And so the mere thought makes absolutely no sense anywhere at all.

There will absolutely NOT be an AU!Cas to replace our Cas.

And I could slap Misha Collins for even hinting at the possibility of it, because he must know that all he’s doing is setting the speculation ball careening through the fandom. And it’s sadistic. (you are a sadist Misha Collins)

(see???)

fawert: I’ve already told you in a different post how much I loved your observations regarding the probable rules and circumstances of the AU World - eye-opening and I’m bound to agree with you because it looks the most plausible and, also, it’s gorgeous! And feeds my brain with all types of scenarios for Mary trying to survive that dystopian, war ridden place. *crackle*

Now, as for how they can bring Cas back, I’m speculating on what so many have already pointed to and speculated about (props to those who mentioned this first, I don’t know exactly who you are, sorry):

Spec 1 - Jack’s grace still lingering in Cas and reviving him

Though I sincerely don’t know how likely this is, I still feel the writers left themselves a loophole, because that grace can clearly perform fucking miracles and it was so obviously shown to us in 12x23 that Cas still possessed some of it, even if he couldn’t use it to ice Lucifer.

There should be a reason for it planted as a visual when he heals Dean. That visual didn’t need to be there: Cas tells Dean in dialogue that he can’t use the nephilim’s power anymore because killing Dagon took both him and Jack, so why the visual? If the lingering nephilim grace is useless anyway, why have Cas use it in order to heal Dean at all? Why not have Cas simply use his own powers, as he has all season? Hmmmmmm. *brow in deep creases*

So I strongly speculate that what we have been shown is to set up that Castiel the angel of the Lord is dead. Him dying an angel death for the first time ever was not for nothing. Dean’s angel is truly gone, and should be mourned.

But also because of this angel death, and thanks to the lingering nephilim grace, Cas is about to finally get the full human experience. *crossing fingers*

Spec 2 - Jack reviving Cas

Personally, I don’t think this is likely. I was convinced Kelly would survive the birth, that Jack would end up healing her or saving her rather than killing her, and her “I love you” right before Jack bright-light shone his way into the world makes me feel slightly vindicated. Because Kelly is the Good Mother who loved her son and willingly sacrificed her life to ensure he was born with all of his powers.

So, to my mind, baby Nephi was Good.

But Jack, in the form he is in now, leaving smouldering footprints on the floor, scaring the bejesus out of Sam: this Jack is most likely not going to simply touch Cas and bring him back to life. 

Firstly (and to me, most importantly): because Jack reviving Cas immediately and somehow brainwashing or controlling him or convincing him to stay as his Protector cancels out Cas’ dramatic death, and the effect it should have on our Protagonist. 

Cas died to further Dean’s character growth (and ultimately his own as well, of course) but if Jack revives Cas now, there’s no growth to be had for Dean.

We have seen Dean bereaved of Cas: Dean drinking himself into a near year long stupor

We have seen Dean pine for and wait for Cas: he kept Cas’ coat in the boot of his many, many different cars, expecting his return

We have seen Dean fight for Cas: he spent a year in Purgatory, keeping himself alive with the one aim to bring Cas home

We have yet to see Dean Winchester grieve for Cas without getting stuck in one of the 5 stages (and yes, everyone grieves differently, but for the sake of my argument, I’m assigning Dean the need to move through all 5 stages)

We have never seen him truly, deeply believing there is no hope for Cas to ever come back to him and accept this as a fact that is entirely out of his power of control.

For us to watch him, for the first time, go through each of the 5 Stages of Grief, he is first going to have to bury Cas’ body, put it in the ground, and yes, deny, bargain, get angry, get depressed over Cas’ death - he needs to go through all of this - but once he reaches acceptance for the first time in his entire character arc, then I would love it if this is the moment Cas is revived and finds his way back to the brothers. I would absolutely fall to pieces with happiness.

Especially if it’s human!Cas who’s finding his way back. I mean, just imagine the possibilities for character growth, for the joint love story to evolve and deepen into something undeniable.

It would do such wonders for both Dean and Cas’ character arcs if Cas came back as a human and came back early in the season, so that we get to watch him do all that character growth, finding his place, finally, in himself, and through it, with the brothers, within the world at large and, ultimately, taking up the space next to Dean in the Impala. 

(Because Sam will be MoLing)

Secondly: because Jack reviving Cas immediately and somehow brainwashing or controlling him or convincing him to stay as his Protector only works if Jack indeed chose Cas as his Protector, but, to my mind, based on how I read the narrative of 12x19 and baby Nephi being good, Jack didn’t chose Cas: baby Nephi chose Cas.

The nephilim’s angelic side chose Cas.

Jack, as I see it, is the Opposite of the nephilim’s angelic side, and so I would put forward the possibility that this Newborn Jack will not feel tied to Cas in any way.

Newborn Jack could, absolutely, be the spitting image of Daddy Devil. Newborn Jack could be the Corruptor and Deceiver, and I believe this is the whole point for the Opposites, shown to us in how baby Nephi was presented through the 12x19 narrative rejecting Evil at every turn, and how we are presented to Newborn Jack through Sam finding him, smiling, in the corner of the darkened nursery.

(first impressions will hopefully not last)

Now, here’s what I’d like, because my brain *crackles* with the dramatic conflict:

Rather than Newborn Jack darting off - which is one of the possibilities at the back of my head - I think they’ll choose to keep Newborn Jack with the brothers, keep his actual intentions ambiguous, and leave us wondering whether he’s an angel or a demon or a little bit of both, but mostly demon, it seems, or is he actually good? Hmmmmm? We just won’t be able to properly tell.

I can see them playing with a Dexter sense of danger around Newborn Jack, where he’s observing them all like they’re lab rats, but where, ultimately, their behaviour and TFW placing true faith in him making the right choices will lead to him connecting with his inherent Humanity.

Spec 3 - Regarding the bizzaro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world

(Would love for this to be the official fandom denomination, btw - let’s throw it in the hat!)

Do I believe they’ll explore this world?

Yes: if the question is with regards to Mary being trapped in it.

They may choose to build it as part of Mary’s self-acceptance arc, where she gets to see what the world would be like without her boys and what her choices actually did for the world. Namely: save the hell out of it. It could be poignant that Luci is stuck over there as well, but more for the plot than his character arc, I should think. He’ll come back all threatening and badass, I’m sure.

No: if the question is regarding expanding the SPN Universe to now include this other dimension, and possibly more of them, spinning the series into a time-traveling multidimensional party cracker of narrative possibility that will last for years and years to come.

No.

I sincerely doubt it.

Because of the aforementioned reasons of Dean as our Protagonist and his character arc and growth and endgame and building the narrative around this for twelve years. (more or less for twelve years) (I know Sam started out as the Protagonist) (though I would like to call bullshit on this for reasons) (whatever)

Spec 4 - Do I believe the bizarro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world will affect the SPN reality we’ve come to know and love?

Possibly.

I can see something slipping through the cracks. Or Mary and Lucifer both returning with new information and it becomes a race to outwit the other, find the key to the universe first (or is that what Jack is supposed to be) or something crazy and huge like that.

But I am of the impression that the AU World is nothing more than a plot device, used to show us - the audience - what our world would be if it weren’t for the Winchesters.

As the narrative has entered the final act, as they are tying it up, looping it back to the beginning with callback after callback, this underlining of how all the misery, and heartbreak, and manpain that the brothers Winchester have been put through, has all been worth it makes perfect sense, and underpins the validity of the narrative as a whole. Which I like.

I truly can’t see the AU World serving any further purpose than that of the pure plot device that was Purgatory, which the writers cleverly used to show us exactly how much Cas means to Dean, and vice versa, and to grant Cas the chance to repent, so that he’d be able to believably move on from the severe error in judgment he was guilty of when he let the Leviathan into the world. This time it’s Mary’s turn to repent and to forgive herself, which goes nicely with her and Cas paralleling each other’s arcs for all of S12.

Spec 5 - Will we see an AU!Cas in any shape or form?

Possibly through Mary, yes, but I sincerely doubt they’d bring AU!Cas into the middle of the heartbreak that will be grieving!Dean. I mean, they could. They might very well do that. But it’d be fucked up. And I agree with both fawert and our other Nonny who pointed out that Castiel would, most likely, not even be possessing Jimmy Novak anymore. (aka Misha Collins) (…the sadist) 

So what would be the point of bringing Castiel the angel of the Lord into the mix?

Castiel in our reality is dead. He has died. 

We need to feel his death with Dean. 

We want to feel it with him, not be distracted by some Cas wannabe stomping onto the scene, taking up our Cas’ vacant space. No, thank you. Right?

I think the writers will want to torment us (they are sadists along with Misha the sadist Collins) (all writers are) (yours truly included) (so, you know, stones thrown at glass and all that) Anyway, they won’t just revive Cas within minutes or even within the first episode. I believe he’ll be put in the ground. Or, to be honest, I would like for him to be put in the ground. Obviously they won’t burn him.

So, to point to the most important sentence on offer in this post:

There will not be an AU!Cas to replace our Cas.

Ever.

(also Misha Collins is a sadist)