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amwritingmeta · 6 years ago

Note

Can we talk about that gas and sip episode? Like at the end were it's night time ever and Dean asks Cas "were to?" And the very next scene it's MORNING and Dean is dropping Cas off at the gas and sip. WTH?

Oh, my darling! This is SO late. I hope you can forgive me… I’ll try and make it up to you by saying YES WE DAMN WELL CAN TALK ABOUT THIS FANFIC GAP BECAUSE IT IS EPIC!!

So I think you may be aware of how much I love this arc and how much I love human!Cas. I love it because it focuses Cas in a way that not many other moments in his progression has managed to do and it tells us, in no unequivocal terms, what his endgame is. He’ll reach it when he’s made the choice that will answer the question posed to him: Angel or man? Right? YES!

So this question comes at him by the end of 9x06 - the episode where the moment you’re referring to occurs - and this episode as a whole is a thing of beauty, especially where Dean and Cas are concerned. It gives us SO MUCH. (I know that this is not news) (as with most things I’m certain there are reams written on this episode and this arc) (but I haven’t written much on it save for in tags so I’m excited I get to tackle it) (and yeah this will probably get kinda long…) (ahem)

Okay, I’m going to answer your question, but first I want us to have a bit of an overview.

Firstly, consider the reason Cas isn’t in the bunker –> Gadreel.

Because of Gadreel’s objections in 9x03, Dean asked/told Cas he had to leave.

Yeah, so now Dean gets a call from Cas and Dean is so fucking pleased, though a little thrown, and he tries to chat, gets told Cas is only calling him because of a case Dean might want to look into, further getting informed that Cas is “busy” and realises Cas just blew him off.

He’s busy? Busy with what exactly and is he okay and what was that noise in the background?

So.

Dean doesn’t just go to where Cas said the case is, oh no, because Dean Winchester - hunter extraordinaire - tracks Castiel - former angel of the lord - down and in the process tells Sam, not once, but twice, that he absolutely does not need Sam’s help or want him anywhere the fuck near this case because then, due to that cockblocker Gadreel, Dean definitively will not get to spend any time with Cas.

Which is the primary reason Dean gets on the road and the only reason Dean gets on the road without Sam and then goes on to assure Sam he’s got it covered and doesn’t need him to come join him. Like, yeah, Dean, you’re feeling all kinds of mixed emotions, right? Guilt, longing, need, worry? And you want to see Cas and you want to make sure he’s okay.

That is, if Cas even wants to spend time with him, which Dean is still unsure of. Hence the hesitation and frown-y face as he watches Cas through those big Gas ‘n Sip windows.

Seriously, is he okay? What the hell is he doing? This is the last damn place on Earth that I’d ever thought I’d find him and what exactly is the dude wearing?

But Dean braves it. With a grin. Because he’s nervous as all hell that he’ll get shot down after he behaved like a complete asshat, throwing Cas out of the bunker like that, and Cas only called about a case so Dean showing up here might not be welcome. In fact, he might get asked to get the fuck out of there. (even though Cas did pick up the phone to call him so…)

Now, Cas – sorry - Steve – does look taken aback. Actually, he looks downright shocked to see Dean’s face. Like he expected he never would again, at least not so soon, and not here, like he genuinely expected Dean to only be interested in the case. (damn these men and their inability to openly communicate) (of course also bless them because it is what makes their interaction so fucking enticing) (that they’re both such major idiots)

All this said, it could be argued (let me headcanon ok?) that Cas, somewhere, in the back recesses of his mind, hoped that placing a call about a case in the very town he’s staying in would mean they’d run into each other.

Running into each other so that Cas could show how well-adjusted he is, of course. That he’s got a job and a… place to sleep. Which is in the back of a Gas ‘n Sip, but Dean wouldn’t need to know that anymore than Cas’ boss knows. Well, she does now, but she thinks he’s just a dedicated employee. She doesn’t know that he’s homeless. (or quite possibly she does) (she seems to take Cas for who he is, not what he is) (and sees the core kindness of him and doesn’t question it but repays it)

Well, there’s no run-in on the street in the cards for Cas and Dean, is there? Nope. Because Dean is far from as casual about the whole thing and he wants to see Cas and he tracks him and finds him. And now here Dean is, face to face with Steve, and he cannot believe this is where Cas has ended up.

Mostly because Cas is fine. Cas is more than fine, he’s a little pissed off and clearly wholly dismissive and obviously uncomfortable with Dean invading this new life he’s building, but other than that, he seems to be okay with being human.

And Dean tries to needle an admittance of doubt out of him. Dean, naturally, thinks this gig is way, way below Cas, right? Out of all the things he could’ve chosen to do, he finds the most menial task a person can engage in (pardon me, all you Gas ‘n Sippers out there, I mean no offence, but compared to what Cas has done in the past…) Cas has chosen to engage with something that doesn’t speak to his skill set at all. And Dean is like WHY??

So he tries to make Cas admit that working at a gas station is below him, that he thinks he deserves more than this, more or less steering Cas towards admitting that his humanity is a burden and he hates it and all he wants is to be an angel again. Only, Cas doesn’t.

Why? Again, because Cas is fine. Fine with being human. Fine with this being his reality. Fine, fine, fine. And Dean still can’t understand why, until it’s revealed that Cas has a hot boss. It’s about a girl! Wonderful. Awesome. Very human. And terrifying. Because where exactly does all this leave Dean? He shut Cas out of his life in order to protect Sam, and now it turns out Cas is happily shutting him out, because he never really needed Dean’s help. Did he?

So what’s the one thing Dean Winchester - hunter extraordinaire - can think to do? Well, how about hooking Cas into considering what they used to share?

Come on, Cas, come on this case. Remember how much fun that used to be? Remember the good old times? I’ll remind you. I’ll damn well remind you of what you’re giving up.

Needy, Dean. Very, very needy. Just let him go, man. He’s okay. You didn’t break him by throwing him out. He’s fine. Leave it alone. But of course, Dean doesn’t. And they go investigating. And Dean comes to realise something:

Cas is fucking mortal.

He can die. Yes, remember that, Dean? Now he does. Because Cas suddenly expresses his own fear of dying, telling Dean that things are different now. Things feel different. Such a wholly human thing of him to say! *heart eyes*

And the shoe drops: Dean doesn’t need any more prompting. He tells Cas to stay safe, to go on that date, to live a normal life. And Cas isn’t happy with that wording, because he feels like a fucking coward, but yeah, he doesn’t want to die. Again. (also he promised Dean he wouldn’t so…) And Nora is nice and going on dates is something humans do.

So there’s another gap here, you realise? Because it’s broad daylight when Dean and Cas go to check out that high school crime scene, and then it’s 7pm when they drive up to Nora’s house. So what did they do in the interim? Maybe they went to a pub or a bar for a beer and a chat, or maybe they even went to get Dean a motel room, because he hadn’t done that yet. Wouldn’t surprise me if he, way too eager to see Cas, just rolled into town. :P

Then, of course, we get the reveal that Nora thought of Cas as the Babysitter (which is so ironic I don’t even know what to say about it) (the term has been tossed around throughout the series) (especially in later seasons) (for example when Dean calls Cas out on acting the Winchester’s babysitter in 12x19) (and there’s more to discuss on this topic but I’m leaving it) and left alone in Nora’s house Cas gets a visit from Ephraim, the angel of mercy, who wants to take all his pain and confusion away.

Noteworthy is the fact that Cas didn’t want to walk into danger, but when faced with it steps between it and the innocent child he thinks is threatened. He will always, always act the shield. This core trait instinctively wipes away any fear or second thought for his own safety. It’s pretty fucking glorious to behold.

We also learn something here: Cas is in pain. The truth is that he is forcing himself into a role he’s not designed to play, submitting to his mortality and making a go of what he assumes is the human way of doing things because…

Because he was rejected by Dean.

I mean, it’s quite simply this exact thing that’s made him embrace his humanity in this non-Cas way, because he’s alone and without a rudder and all he can think is that he’s useless without his powers, and what is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to help? April nearly killed him. The angels all hate him and rightfully so. He’s hiding and trying to forget about all of it, except he can’t entirely - hence the taking note of the nearby case and calling Dean in to take care of it.

By turning himself into Steve, Cas is going against his core traits: to help and to protect. This isn’t a good place for him to be. (hence the change of name) (he’s literally acting a role he’s assigned himself) (the human version of him needs a name not tied to Heaven) (he’s pretending he doesn’t have a past because the guilt of what has happened is so extreme he doesn’t know how to even face it) (because he feels utterly powerless)

So the lesson he’s meant to learn in this episode is exactly that. He can talk big and tell Dean that he’s found purpose and dignity in what he’s chosen for himself, but the truth is that what makes him special - as Nora tells him - is the way he cares.

A rose by any other name, Castiel. You cannot wipe out who you truly are by pretending to be someone else.

Nora’s dialogue as Cas leaves her house more or less serves to shine a light on the truth of Ephraim’s challenge, because the challenge for Cas to decide how to continue - as an angel or as a man - isn’t really the choice Cas has to make for himself. It’s whether he continues to stick his head in the sand when he’s needed the most, allowing his fear of dying to give him a free pass, or whether he chooses to face this fear, and play big, in spite of it.

(let’s also not forget about this gap between when Cas and Dean together defeat Ephraim and Nora comes back from her date) (because they straight up looked after a baby together) (and I want to see that on screen more than I want to see them in Dean’s procured motel room tbh) (oh wait) (now we have JACK) (god I love S13) :P

So when Dean asks Cas “Where to?” the grim expression on Cas’ face has everything to do with the fact that he hasn’t decided how to answer that question yet. He has no fucking idea where to go from here or even where he wants to be headed.

So here we now land in my reply to your actual question.

I’m going to give you my way of filling in the gap of this night we never got to witness, and it’s platonic af. Yeah, that’s right. P.l.a.t.o.n.i.c.

I mean, I think Cas stayed quiet in that car, lost in thought, and Dean suggested hey, you hungry, grab a bite to eat? So maybe they went to restaurant and talked and it was all good, or maybe Dean asked him where he’s staying and Cas just muttered and Dean suggested hey, why don’t you come back to the motel, huh? Because of course Dean wants to drag this out for as long as possible and there’s beer and they can get some food on the way and just… hang out. And maybe Dean was thinking and hoping that maybe Cas, who clearly wants to get laid again, would be up for flirtation, but —

– but here’s the thing. The way I read Dean, especially where he’s at in his progression at this point, considering that he’s on the precipice of letting his self-hatred get the better of him in such a way that he decides to take the MoC on himself, my reading of him is that he’s simply not in a mindset to make a move on Cas. He just doesn’t have the balls to risk this incredibly important relationship because he’s horny. (remember he hasn’t admitted to himself yet exactly how much he fucking LOVES Cas, right) (that won’t happen until S11 and Mildred’s hand placed over his heart)

If Cas instigated it, oh, fuck yeah. I think Dean would’ve happily engaged in a night of debauchery and his self-loathing would then have explained it away as nothing but some fun between friends, going so far as to completely convince himself that of course Cas doesn’t FEEL anything. Oh, and neither does Dean, because love and happiness are such scary concepts (because Good Things Don’t Last) that even the thought of them are suppressed swiftly and efficiently and all that this ever was, for the both of them, was sex between friends, nothing more. But —

– but Cas is in no state to instigate anything here.

He’s low. He’s had severe blows delivered throughout the episode and the only thing keeping him up is the fact that Dean’s there. So even if they don’t have a deep heart-to-heart about the decision Cas is about to make for himself, the fact that Dean is there as support, I believe, has a huge bearing on where that decision actually lands.

So, we have a Cas who is feeling low and, I’d argue, doesn’t have his mind set on sex as emotional consolation, mostly because he’s still unsure of what exactly that longing he feels from Dean means. He’s still unsure about what it is he feels. You know? He’s just now starting to suss out the vastness and depths of human emotion - he says as much in this episode when discussing Ephram’s motivations with Dean. It’s still a confusing jumble, just as it is for most humans.

I believe what Cas needs when he gets into the Impala is a friend. And beyond that what he needs, more than anything else, is a hot meal, an even hotter shower and a warm, soft bed to sleep in for the first time since… Well, a very long time, I’d say.

I do headcanon with my last breath, though, that this is the night when these two fell in love for real. Like they were attracted to each other and there was respect and intrigue and they were doing a joint circling of falling in love (hello that year in Purgatory) (but of course Dean told himself that was all about comrades in arms) (and Dean being hellbent on finding Cas and bringing him home was all about how Cas said “I’ll go with you” and then he died) (even when he didn’t want to face any conflict) (because he backed Dean) (and Dean wasn’t just gonna leave him in fucking Purgatory was he…?) but this is where that emotion manifested, irreversibly, for the both of them.

Like they got to see new sides to each other that they had never been privvy to before. Instigated by them fighting off a death threat as a team, but really deepened by them taking care of a baby as a borderline couple and seeing what that domesticity could be like, and then Dean showing support and understanding and them simply having a low-key evening together, staying in the same room with absolutely nothing more needing to happen than them falling asleep after hours of talking about life and their past and just getting to know each other on a completely different level.

Because with a Dean that is way too insecure and in no mood of doing something stupid that might jeopardise his friendship with Cas now that his last stupid thing has been put behind them, and with a Cas equally in the process of finding his footing as a human and individual and really not being about the sex, but much more about making a connection, I just don’t see them getting it on in this episode.

That’s not to say that it’s not open for that interpretation. This is MY reading, peeps. And I love toying with the idea that something happened. But to me it doesn’t fit in with how I read the canon narrative, is all. And it doesn’t have to. I’m just basing my reply on that reading, rather than all the possibilities if venturing away from how I view it. :P (I’m also not saying I’m the only one to view it this way) (I’m just not going to bunch people into a we when I’m not entirely sure who the we is) :)

Moving on.

After the lessons learned in this episode, in 9x09 we get to witness where Cas lands, which is in the decision to don fed threads and insert himself into the brothers’ investigation, going head first into a situation to do with angels warring with each other, stating that this is something he should be involved in.

In other words, a 180 in attitude from the start of 9x06 and his fear of facing possible death. (as well as, of course, facing the anger and disgust of his kin) (fleeing responsibility as a human) (finally coming to the realisation of his own accord that not only does running away go against everything he believes in) (but everything that truly makes him him as well) (he can’t just turn his back)

It makes me teary eyed and emotional. He’s been told by Dean to go live his life, and this is what he chooses for himself. No more aimlessness, no more questioning where he should be or where he belongs, he steps into that crime scene intent on being a part of the fight Dean told him isn’t his anymore. *head fucking exploding with joyyyyy*

Now, on that note ^^^ let’s look at the very final scene of 9x06.

So, Dean apologises for telling Cas to leave the bunker, something that’s been weighing on him ever since he first laid eyes on Cas in that Gas ‘n Sip, I’m sure. Like, why not open with this, Dean?

(because he’s a scaredy cat and he wanted to charm the pants off…… well……. Cas and suss out if their friendship had been seriously damaged before even breeching the subject of how he failed to be there for Cas when he needed him the most)

And then Dean tells Cas he’s proud that he’s adapting to this new life, even if it’s been hard.

And that’s a complete 180 with regards to what his attitude was at the start of the episode. It’s a brilliant emotional bookend for our Dean!

Instead of being needy and trying to get Cas to come play with him as in Please, remember the good times, Cas! Dean is letting go. He doesn’t want to. Like, he really, really does not want to. (Jensen plays this scene so well) (and God Misha is amazing in this episode) (GAH)

But this choice of letting go isn’t just because of Gadreel now, it’s because Cas doesn’t want to die. And Dean doesn’t want Cas to die. So, Dean forces himself to because it’s the right thing to do and he tells Cas to go live his life. And, again, I don’t think he’s fully come to terms with how in love he really is with Cas, but we know, through this action, exactly how much he loves him.

And the narrative knows. And sets up a big reward, even though Dean can’t quite see it as such, when Cas chooses to return to him in 9x09.

I mean, Dean sees Cas being reckless with his life. Again. But, really, if Dean hadn’t come to the Gas ‘n Sip and instilled a sense of having faith in Cas even without his powers, Cas might not have come to the realisation that he was lying to himself about what his purpose ought to be. All that pain he’s been suppressing, all that worry and lack of self-worth because he wasn’t entirely sure why Dean had rejected him, it eases when Dean shows up unannounced and encourages him that they should work a case together.

Dean: So? I’ve never had any powers.

I think that’s ^^^ a pivotal line in this episode and something Cas has to understand. Still. Going on six years later. His powers do not define him. His powers are not the reason he’s valued and important to Dean, or to Sam.

Anyway, for 9x06 what he had to understand is that deep down he’s a shield and a protector, always and forever. He’s not meant to nuke nachos and keep bathrooms clean. And he does understand it. If human is what he’s going to be, then he’s meant to be a hunter. Plain and simple. So, a hunter in training he’ll be. And off he goes. To help the angels. (and to be close to Dean again)

There. One simple, straightforward request for a bit of a discussion on one fanfic gap in an episode became four and a half pages of meta analysis and headcanon and spec about intention and the characters’ emotional architecture for you. And flailing about one of my favourite episodes of this show. Like hands down top ten. Easy peasy don’t even have to ponder it. 9x09 and 9x10 belonging high up on that list as well.

Right. I could write an essay about this arc and how important I think it is, how it becomes an axis that turns and rotates the entire series in a new direction and informs not only the love story, but so much of the codependency and the main characters’ individual arcs as well. It’s just full of bright, bright moments and horrible heartache and it’s all so part of the reason why we love this damned show, right?

Thanks for the prompt, my lovely. And do excuse my reply being so abysmally late!!

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spiked-tea-writing · 4 years ago

Text

Haha We’re Married

Wilbur Soot x Fem!Reader

Summary: After successfully hiding your relationship for years, twitter fucking comes and exposes you

Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1kish

A/n: TBH I’ve only listened to Wilbur’s music, I don’t watch his streams. I just really wanted to write this trope for a streamer. This was kinda self-indulgent *cough* hella self-indulgent *cough*, so sorry if it’s choppy and poorly written. Also I’m trying out headcannon forms. Unedited and unproofed

The situation at hand was very complex

The two of you had been able to keep your relationship under wraps for a very long time.

-Since you were both pretty major streamers on the platform, it was just easier to eep your relationship a secret instead of in the public eye

Y’all were young when you got married had already faced judgment from the surrounding community, and you guys didn’t want to deal with the entire fucking internet questioning your relationship

The decision was made before he joined SootHouse, mainly so that your entire personas wouldn’t be based on being a couple.

It wasn’t that hard, considering that your internet careers had started separate from each other, but it was increasing in difficulty as your popularity grew and you guys had to interact more, especially on Dream’s sever

Then when Wilbur had started streaming in the apartment, avoiding revealing everything became damn near impossible

Of course, there was speculation, rumors, fanart, and a lot of shipping, but the two of you had never addressed it.

Fun fact: One fanart of you two was so good it was hung up in your flat, right next to a picture from your wedding lmao.

Twitter was always breathing down your necks, especially since yall both wore wedding rings, but there was never enough evidence to put two and two together

They were thrown for one hell of a loop after both of you had been on Love or Host

The backlash got so intense to the point where you both made statements about how you both weren’t cheating since the relationships on Love or Host aren’t always real-life partnerships.

Since you were known for your chill streams one day you were streaming a “painting and inevitably smudging my nails” stream when someone made a donation

It was for eight pounds, and the automatic voice read “when is your birthday, and what is your zodiac??”

You let out a giggle

“Um I’m in September and a Virgo I believe. Actually, funny story, my husband and I share a birthday which makes us both Virgos so I’m actually not sure what that means for our compatibility”

The stream carried on like normal and you didn’t think much of your answer

Then the motherfucking robot voice came for your weave as you were blowing on your fingers

“Are you and Wilbur dating???”

You went beet reed.

“Haha no, we aren’t. I’m happily married.”

And yet again, the stream went on with any further hiccups.

After the stream ended, you went to find Wilbur somewhere in the kitchen.

“Hello darling”

His arms wrapped around your waist as you let out a sigh.

“Stream was very long but at least my nails look nice”

He laughed and started fidgeting with your hands

Your wedding band caught his eye

“I’m glad I tied you down.”

“My husband, the romantic.”

Smiles grace your faces but the sweet moment was interrupted by a phone call coming from your streaming room.

“Ahh fuck, I should get that. Could you call the Thai place for takeaway??”

“Sure thing.”

You made your way down your phone kept ringing

You glanced at the caller id which read Father-In-Law before picking up

“Hey, Phil what’s up?”

“Hey, you need to check Twitter. And get Will.”

The line went dead

You were wondering if that was a advil enduced fever dream when you called for your husband

The sound of shuffling feet against the carpet followed by your lank boiTM walking into your room snapped you into reality

“I was thinking Pad See Ew and-“

“Phil called and told me to check Twitter, and I’m hella scared.”

You could see his face drop. Twitter never meant something good/ Either someone died or someone got canceled for being a perv

“Might as well rip off the bandaid and look.”

You nodded and pulled up Twitter

The number one hashtag on trending was #SootMarriageGate

“What the actual fuck.”

“I’m scared”

With a bit of hesitation, you clicked on the hashtag, which directed you to the top of a thread

“After Y/n’s stream today, I’m thinking that her and Wilbur are actually married. Like it’s no longer a bit”

That tweet had an insane amount of replies, and before you could change your mind, you started scrolling

There were a few arguements, but most of the replies consisted of evidence the audience had found of your relationship.

There were so many clips that either had you mention something about the other person, to that time you walked behind Wilbur’s chair, face just out of the frame of the webcam.

Unfortunately, people seemed to really be catching on

On reply had caught your eye

“We know Wilburs birthday is September 19, and if you look at Y/ns last birthday post, it was the nineteenth of September. And remember, she and her husband share a birthday. I think that that’s not a coincidence.”

You turned to Wilbur

“Maybe it’s time we just straight up tell them.”

“You’re right. Should we tweet it?”

“Or maybe stream. Just confirm it and answer a few questions. Is that alright?”

“Of course. Should we do it tonight with the Thai food and make it chill??”

“Sounds like a plan.”

And so you guys waited for a few hours before streaming, during which you guys kept an eye on Twitter and got the food. You built a sort of nest on the floor in the streaming room to eat dinner in and give the stream some cozy vibes.

After stalling for long enough, twitch got booted up and a stream was started.

“Hey guys I got Wilbur here with me and we are having a chill stream and eating some Thai.”

The stream was just y’all chatting about the food for a few seconds, ignoring chat until finally Wilbur casually said,

“Oh, and what do you want for our wedding anniversary?”

He turned to look the camera directly in the lens, face deadpan. You let out a giggle before playing along

“Hmm, maybe we should just have a day out as HUSBAND AND WIFE.”

Chat blew up as you both stared at the camera, stone-faced. Wilbur stood up, still emotionless, and ended the stream.

He turned to you with a smile

“That was easier than expected.”

“Honey the stream was 3 minutes long.”

He disregarded your comment.

“Well now that that’s out of the way, shall we ignore Twitter for the next day??”

You rolled your eyes at your fantastic husband

“I couldn’t have had a better idea myself.”

#wilbur x reader #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur fluff #wilbur fanfiction #wilbur fanfic #wilbur soot fanfiction #wilbur soot fanfic #wilbur x you #wilbur soot x you #wilbur x yn #wilbur soot x yn

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bookofmirth · 4 years ago

Note

I’m seeing a lot of people dismiss Elucien by claiming Elain doesn’t want him and “shrinks” away from him. I wanted to get your take on this. Cause how I see it is Elain desperately wants to feel in control again which is why she is pushing Lucien away. She has suffered tremendous trauma from being kidnapped by Hybern, turned into a fae against her will, being told she has a mate, her fiancé leaving her, having powers thrust on her she doesn’t understand, being kidnapped again, losing her father, and now having to pretend everything is fine because she sees how her sisters were struggling with their own trauma.

All these things happening to her and she hasn’t dealt with any of them, and that includes the mating bond. She hasn’t rejected it or accepted it. She just ignores it’s existence including Lucien himself. Given she has had over a year and still won’t even discuss the bond makes me think that is her way of taking control back. That she’s telling the Cauldren or the Mother or Fate to fuck off by deciding the bond doesn’t exist.

So seeing some other people claim that she doesn’t want Lucien I have to question that if that was definitively the case why doesn’t she outright reject the bond? Why drag out this feeling of limbo by ignoring Lucien or “shrinking” away from him? I see it as her taking control of her life back. She’s deciding she won’t deal with this thing that was pushed onto her by some divine entity. Same way she has pretended until ACOSF that her powers were gone.

And regarding the other unnamed ship for Elain I think that’s also a control thing. I think she genuinely cares about him. He saved her life many times and made her feel safe in this new crazy world she was pushed into. I just think that connection she has to him is the same as any traumatized person would have to someone who rescued them/experienced that same pain. I think maybe Elain is pushing for more in that connection because she feels this is a choice she made and not Fate. This relationship would be her taking control back. Which is why I could see them sharing intimacy that essentially will leave her feeling unfulfilled, especially considering his POV is more about what he thinks Fate owes him. Basically they would both be using each other.

Sorry I seriously could go on for another few paragraphs talking about how even in ACOTAR Elain was portrayed as the easy going one and that may be further evidence of her not dealing with her feelings… there I go again. This is a lot [insert I just have a lot of feelings gif].

This is really long, and I love you for your thoughts, and I am not one bit sorry that this took me like 45 minutes to write.

This argument is honestly the one that drives me crazy the most because we literally do not know what Elain wants. People keep saying “she’s not interested” or “they never talk” or “there’s no interaction” etc. Are they supposed to discuss the mating bond and their deepest feelings and thoughts about one another at Starfall, or winter solstice, or some other family function in front of literally everyone they know???

I’m sorry, but did we get an Elain book that I missed? A Lucien book? No, we’ve gotten Feyre’s story, and Nesta and Cassian and a bit of Rhys. Not once have we gotten a POV in which we could see Elain and/or Lucien discussing how they feel about one another without someone else present and/or interfering, without that information being filtered through someone else’s perception of how they feel.

And tbh? I think that’s telling. To me, that means it’s being saved for a future book.

Regarding the way that Elain supposedly shrinks from Lucien - again, if she really didn’t want to be around him, Feyre and Rhys would make that happen.

In acowar, their interactions were quite different because she had just been Made, her powers were still unknown, she was still mourning Graysen and her father. Elain had a lot going on. I always like to compare it to feysand, and what Feyre’s reaction would have been if she knew about Rhys being her mate as soon as she met him in acotar. There’s no way in hell should would have just instantly thrown Tamlin over for him. Why would we expect Elain to be able to make that shift in her affections so easily?

In acosf, page 311, there is “tightness” in her face when she makes an excuse for not being around, and this is Cassian’s POV.

Page 602, again Cassian’s POV: “Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that new-found boldness to be seen.”

Any conjecture about why she reacted that way is 100% pure speculation.

She could be feeling what Lucien feels because of the bond, and from what Cassian says it’s not a pleasant feeling.

She could be unsure of what Lucien expects of her.

She could be repulsed by him.

She could have such strong feelings that she shrinks because she has a difficult time hiding them (and she’s usually really good at hiding them).

She could feel such an intense pull towards him that she physically withdraws.

We literally do not know!!!

To me, it mirrors Wings and Embers when Nesta and Cassian were attracted to one another and he licked her neck, then she kicked him in the balls. I mean we literally have examples of this with the other mated couples where they are drawn together but still turn away from one another. However, we also got to see feysand and nessian one-on-one, from their own POV. We haven’t had that with elucien yet so any argument that says the above (she’s not interested, they never interact, etc.) has no basis in what we know.

What we do know is that she hasn’t rejected the bond. Whatever those reasons are, Elain could have rejected the bond a thousand times over by now, but she hasn’t. I actually don’t think she runs from her problems, at least not all the time. I know that people keep arguing that, but I’m not convinced. I’ll make a separate post about that.

Hell, Lucien could have rejected the bond a thousand times over by now!!!! Elain isn’t the only one who can do that, right?! And why would he choose to let it remain, when this pull is having such an effect on him? When Rhys said that it can make people go crazy if it’s not consummated? Like? Lucien has agency in this too, and of the two of them Lucien has a much larger stake in not letting this continue.

There is a year of potential interactions between them that we have zero evidence of and so claiming that they haven’t happened is like one of the priestesses saying that the sky doesn’t exist because they never see it.

My final point is that I think that we haven’t gotten this information because it’s endgame, because it will get its own book and become fully developed when it’s not filtered through other characters’ perspectives.

Okay my actual actual final point is that idgaf how Az plays into all of this because she can want to kiss him in that one scene, and everything I said would still be true. I think you’re right that they can find comfort in one another because he rescued her (and he also rescued Gwyn) and because he was trying to put her at ease in acomaf (because it was his job), and Az intentionally made himself seem unthreatening. Elain doesn’t feel the same pressure or expectation from Az as there is from Lucien, so yeah, she feels more comfortable around him. She can smile blandly and he can say “no Elain can’t do that” and it doesn’t challenge anything about their lives.

-fin-

#acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #a court of silver flames #a court of silver flames spoilers #ask #elucien #anon

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multiversal-pudding · 3 months ago

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Ah but you see, Now I must push it back into Crack with the following observation, which is that to be frank if we as E-512 Are possessing an actual person and the narrator is the repressed consciousness of the prisoner playing host to us, then that means that tbh the prisoner is also kind of an insane freak and unlike us they Don't have a reason for it, bc like.

Ok, I would get it if the narration only started descending into "The Walls are Painted With Blood" weird chaotic poetry out of despair after like death 80 or something, but like you'd figure if they were helplessly watching their body be thrown into danger they'd be more freaked at the start, but I specifically remember getting one of the goofy jokey/ooc easter egg narration bits like on run 2 or something when an Angler was coming and like. My guy it's Your Body, shouldn't you be more concerned/shouldn't You be the one who's scared here?! Or even if it's like jumping from body to body- that just means there's multiple prisoners in these facilities that respond to mind-shattering horrors with dark poetry instead of WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! or some other reasonable reaction-

Also. Like. I mean apparently Angels are a thing in this universe + we have PAinter the sentient computer whatever the heck is up with him which ngl maybe it's just the bodyhorror liker in me/ me having come here via Murderdrones but like. I kinda half wonder/want there to be a twist like "Painter used to be a person/has meat in him somehow " so like I don't see why Lucy *can't* be possessed with the soul of a child?? Like, Yeah, I guess that tracks- (sorry I don't have more interesting speculation on Lucy, it/she's really cool, I just. Don't have much to add on the topic than "Lucy :)")

Finally, if we're getting into stuff about bringing up other games and stuff- this does mean that we run into a thing that I think about a lot with Meta stuff, which is the part about how while we may know deep, secret information/have future knowledge/know things that shouldn't be able to be known, we as the audience also have a limited perspective to things that would be obvious to someone that had lived in this world that we as players/outsiders don't have a reason to know. Like- seriously, what a weird combo of information we as the player/E-512 probably have! Like, we know deep cuts like Mr. Urbanshade's cat's name/the stillbirth of one of his children, who Sebastian Solace was and what happened to him, the top secret documents we've found and the horrors within the Blacksite, and yet there's probably obvious stuff too that we the player have not been informed of, like. Apparently Studs are an in-universe unit of measurement as used in the documents, so you just know there's probably gonna be some obvious thing like "Wait, what do you mean you don't know what a Brixmart is? And what the hell is a Wall-mart??"

Hell, for all we know, the Sebastian pre-transformation model we got was 100% accurate to how he looked without any medium-based interpretation and to him, part of the horrifying transformation was the fact that he grew shrimp legs at the ends of his arms that we interpret as being normal bc they ended up looking like our idea of hands (in which case we also run into the idea that while we look "normal" to ourselves, we might be Eldritch Abominations/horrifying gaunt inhuman creatures if you take the meta elements 100% seriously, which is neat-)

URBANSHADE

HADAL DIVISION

The Expendables

{ no image provived }

(this item is not available in the game)

E-512 - Codename: The Expendables are a group whose anomalous properties were discovered after it was already too late

These anomalies signed-up as Expendables and are presumably central to P-512, resetting after failure or success in the operation

After protocals revealed aberrations in staff memory and Urbanshade's infrastructure, search for what P-512 left untouched gained us recovered impossible footage from the Hadal Blacksite

When more footage is found from the Blacksite, staff are to immediately transfer it or a copy to secure locations or be demoted

Z-13 appears to be unaffected by P-512 alongside E-512, as footage revealed them to retain knowledge and development in skills from past loops, and blatantly discuss what they refer to as "runs"

The E-512 are seemingly familiar with Z-13 as somebody other than Sebastian Solace. They also refer to them as ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇, ▇▇▇▇▇▇, and most concerningly of all, "The only reason we're playing this game"

#Also the idea of it being an *unstable time loop*. The idea that the layout of the Blacksite changes every time...#Oooh there's some fun potential there I think... Some real “surreal background element” fun to be had...

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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8 Anti LO Asks

1. It doesn’t really make sense for a long term comic such as LO to have such a drastic change in the artstyle, and even more you can’t really call it an improvement when all the interesting parts of the art style are now gone and all that it is now it’s just some basic same-face and body art style with barely any backgrounds. RS is incredibly talented for illustrative artwork and it’s really a shame she’s not doing that anymore and instead has left it to her team, with leaving them very messy sketches. The artstyle in the beginning had life and glamour and now it’s just very dull and boring. That’s not an improvement

2. I genuinely can’t think of any man in LO that’s even half way decent. Poseidon maybe? Hephaestus? Those are the only two I can manage, meanwhile the rest are either Rachel purposely ruining them because of her own biases (Zeus, Apollo, Thanatos to an extent) or are “good” men who are just creeps who disrespect all the women around them and are super creepy and obsessed over a literal teenager who acts like a child (Hades, Ares, Hermee, Eros, etc). The women aren’t much better either.

3. About Perse making Hades childish: (this is no way defending him, just some speculation, and tbh I doubt that RS has thought this through haha) I wonder if he becomes a horny teenager around her because she’s a goddess of fertility? Would that have any affect on him? Doesn’t excuse his creepy ass behavior, but could explain it a bit, I guess?

4. Okay so I'll be honest I dont really see any reason to 'simp' over Any of the LO characters?

Also, not to start sh*t, but - I think part of the reason why some of the LO fandom does not like Zeus (and perhaps gives Hera more leeway - at least in terms of cheating) is because:

Mythologically Zeus is a known cheater / rapist (Io for example, or Semele)

They see Hera cheating a Zeus as okay (its not) because he's been known to cheat on her in the past / fans see Hera cheating on Zeus with Hades as 'justified revenge' for what he's (Zeus) put her through

I'll be honest I dont really see Zeus (or Hades for that matter) as good rulers because

Despite other deities (like Eros) doing 'acts of wrath' - they get away with it because they often have someone to back them up (like Aphrodite offering to sleep with Zeus to get her son out of trouble) - but the one time Persephone does something wrong (an act of wrath) - Zeus wants to give her the Prometheus treatment - mainly so he can feel like an in control king whos subjects respect him

The reason this sound so odd is because of RS writing choices. Zeus is a grade A d*ck who is willing to destroy a 'young girls promising career' because she made 1 mistake that one time. But at the same time the act of wrath is framed oddly because Demeter doesn't want her daughter to get in trouble so she covers it up (its like the equivalent of hiding a murder from the cops).

Zeus wanting to Prometheus Kore seems overly harsh because she is a Child. (Well a teenager) - so it adds to the "Zeus is a d*ck" card, because she doesnt have the life experience to "get away with" stuff like the other deities because she is young AND sheltered.

Like again, the whole concept of Human Laws applying to Gods is so confusing:

Would Zeus have been this harsh if Demeter had simply come forward in the first place about Persephone's murder rampage? Why did she blackmail / get other deities involved to cover it up? Is Zeus THAT much of a d*ck in Demeters eyes that she knows he would harshly punish a child for something "she didnt mean to do" (killed mortals based on a feeling?)

Why is there a motherf*cking trial in the first place? Do All the other deities get the right to a fair trial or is this a special case? (Like can any deity just offer to sleep with Zeus and he'll let them off the hook?). If the other deities had commited the same crime would the trial / punishment be the same or does Zeus just have a rage boner because he was lied to? If thats the case then why are the other deities taking Persephones side during the trial? (Ares I can maybe understand cause hes the God of War and stuff but everyone else is taking Perse's side because their either her personal friend or family member (Hecate, Hermes, Demeter, Hades etc).

Why are there certain laws like "Zeus cant get to Persephone because she has clemency in the underworld" but other deities - including Leto, Demeter and others (like Perse's nymph family) can just stroll into Hades house? Why is Hermes still on house arrest? Why are Hades + Persephone throwing a house party when shes on trial for scythe crimes??!!!

Why are the gods bound by such petty squabbles?

The way RS set up the governing "laws" in universe just doesnt make a whole lotta sense. Also, sorry this got ramblely.

5. Tbh i don’t think that Hades acting differently when he’s with Persephone is a bad thing, as a concept. But there are many issues with this such as the fact that Persephone is barely legal and Hades act like an actual child around her. Obviously when you’re with someone they are going to act different than they do when they are at work. The problem is that Hades essentially goes from the “cold-scary king” to a 17 year old hormonal boy when he’s with Persephone. And him making out with her in a middle of a store or them golfing with diamonds or him making out with Persephone again in front of his workplace is not exactly acceptable behaviour from a king. If Hades acts all lovey-dovey with Persephone when their at their home together it’s different, but when they’re at a public place they can’t really do that. I would say that he has to keep a status about him but from what we’ve seen all the citizens of the underworld hate him and don’t respect him at all, from yelling at him to actually fighting with him, so idk how much status there is actually attached to him

6. I swear, the majority of the “cute” HxP moments in LO just seem like a single father dealing with his hyperactive 8 year old over the supposed future intimidating rulers who Rachel is obsessed about talking and drawing their sex life. Is it really that hard to depict Persephone even acting like a smart teenager at the very least, as opposed to an airhead grade schooler? It doesn’t scream cute to me, it seems more like a father/daughter relationship. It’s just weird.

7. i mean, i have a LO oc who's persephone's brother (fertility god) between demeter and zeus. dude got thrown into tartyrus to cover up the affair and now serves cronus. he was the god of summer, and my reasoning was demeter's seasons/harvest + summer thunderstorms. wrote a whole minific i will never post about him and persephone realizing everyone around them are assholes and healing together. so the mistress-of-zeus oc isnt that weird.

8. I’m not a Zeus stan by any means, but I do find him one of the most interesting characters, and one that RS has, in her attempts to make him be the worst ever to make Hades look better, actually way more interesting and compelling than the majority of the cast. He doesn’t lie or whine to the audience he’s some good person like Hades when he’s not, he owns that he’s a dick and doesn’t bullshit the audience into thinking he’s someone he’s not. RS tries to show us he’s a “bad” king, yet we see no proof it beyond what, he wants to uphold the law P broke and doesnt kiss Hades’ butt? That’s not a bad king, it’s a good one that he doesn’t let family ties or lust cloud his judgement, unlike Hades or Hera, for example. I don’t condone his cheating either, but it’s not fair to hate him for it, but love it that Hades cheated on Minthe so he could get into a teenager’s skirt and praise Hera for sleeping with her brother in law while punishing Zeus’ mistresses because she’s being a fake “loyal” wife. Just because he’s a deeply flawed, even a bad person doesn’t make him a bad character. Hades and Hera and even Persephone are awful people who do worse than Zeus, yet they’re loved and praised for it, all while being written with the depth of a puddle.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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bellezzamortale · 3 years ago

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haven't been keeping tabs on the whole tennis drama scene for a while, what tennis players can we still support re: not being anti vax idiots except for Rafa

tbh i haven't been very diligent in keeping track of everyone's stance on vaccines either (and if i have i've probably forgotten again, bc my memory is terrible these days), but have mostly good news for you, because while some players dragged their feet and/or said they didn't like the idea of vaccine mandates, according to the ATP, 97 out of the top 100 are vaccinated. one of the 3 guys who aren't would obviously be novak as we now know, one is tennys sandgren, no clue who no.3 is and it would feel a bit gossipy to speculate.

i think a bunch of them were huffy about it and took their time (note the part of the first article that says only 48% of the ATP top 100 were fully vaccinated in october) and to an extent i get why it would be an inconvenience to a pro athlete who competes almost every week to potentially miss a couple of valuable days of practice to side effects, and a hassle to organise if you're never in the same country for long. but ultimately they all came to the conclusion that missing a whole grand slam (and possibly more tournaments in the future) is even more of a hassle, lol.

a few high profile players whose names are thrown around by novak fans as other vaccine "skeptics" on the tour are dominic (who's vaxed now but waited a long time holding out hope for one particular vaccine that didn't get approved in time), daniil (also vaxed but made comments about wanting to keep his vax status private bc he wants to keep everything medical private to not give opponents any advantages), and stef (who's... yeah there's no caveat here he's just being a bit of a moron, but has also since gotten vaccinated for convenience).

they're not enthusiastically pro-vax or pro-mandates, granted, but at the end of the day they all held their nose, did the right thing, got jabbed and are now competing.

the real hardliners are mostly at home sitting out the tournament voluntarily. both sandgren and pierre hugues-herbert were very clear about not even trying to go bc they knew they didn't have a case for a valid medical exemption. john isner is at the AO so we know he has to be vaccinated but, well, you know. he's john isner

and personally i think i can live with the rest. i don't need them to be enthusiastic about getting vaccinated, as long as they do it and don't actively spread misinformation. it's nice if a player uses their platform to urge people to get vaxed, yes, but ultimately we shouldn't take some full time fuzzy-yellow-ball-hitter's medical advice either way, you should take that of real medical authorities. (and wouldn't it be nice if our governments could form a coherent strategy to end this pandemic rather than us having to worry about tennis players helping to advance a public health campaign. 🙃)

#i feel like i should also note for everyone who isn't as active in and around tennis twitter that tennys sandgren is... uh.#a real piece of work in general #used to be a regular in the replies of white supremacist holocaust denier nick fuentes until he had his run to the AO18 QF #and the heightened media scrutiny that came with it and made him ''clean up'' his social media act to some degree #he now follows neo-reactionary ''luminaries'' like 0 HP lovecraft so his political leanings may be more vague and pseudo-intellectual #but definitely not any less horrific #so yeah i'm a bit more concerned with a guy like that getting interviews over his anti-vax stance than someone like stef #who was stupid and misinformed and by virtue of having the platform that he has passed that misinformation along to lots of people #but who we know isn't a knowingly malicious person and who actually acknowledged the blowback he got for it and reminded people #that he's not fit to give medical advice #am i letting players like stef off the hook? maybe but what can i say at this point i've lowered my expectations considerably #these are just some dudes with no qualifications whatsoever that we keep asking for their opinions on extremely complex stuff #how did we THINK this was gonna go 😭#anyway here's wonderwall #asks #anonymous

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spelviin · 4 years ago

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basically i have a lot of Thoughts™ about the whole “other people getting to play as glenn at this point in the story” thing and i need to inflict them on other ppl sry

ok so like. basically i’m kinda of two minds about the whole thing. like, on the one hand, i totally get “glenn fatigue” setting in, we’re like six months or something into his arc and tbh we don’t have an awful lot of clear-cut development or growth to show for it (some, absolutely, but not a whole lot). so a part of me is totally feeling the “just get on with it!” impulse, and in that regard i am glad we finally got him to break.

on the other hand though, in the actual moment on my first listen-through of the ep, my honest impression was that i felt a little bit disappointed. not because it was jimmy getting to act out the moment, but because the reaction to the call from morgan itself felt just a teensy bit out of character to me?

because like, we’ve seen this scene before. we’ve seen glenn take a call from morgan for the first time, back at castle ravenloft, and it did not go then the way it did in this ep. glenn was shaken, yes, absolutely, but it was a very quiet, heavy, restrained devastation. and it might have evolved from there and turned into something bigger, but he never had a chance to process the sudden reopening of that deep emotional wound in the moment because the o-dad reveal happened literally immediately afterward.

that being said though, at least in my opinion, freddie did not let that moment or its implications on glenn slide, and was playing the emotional aftermath of that call for several episodes afterwards. and yeah, sure, that post might have been me reaching, but i do think that that shit indicates that freddie does have a plan for this character.

and it’s weird to say, but i don’t know how much of the rest of the podcast jimmy has listened to, whether or not he heard the ep with the phone call to morgan, and whether or not that factored in to the way he played that moment when glenn was in his hands. to me tbh i felt like it probably didn’t, but that’s just me.

now, to be fair, the absolute last thing i want to do here is sell jimmy short. he did a fantastic job playing as glenn in this episode, his acting in that moment was perfectly devastating (”don’t get in the car” fucking BROKE me fr) and in his defence in terms of characterization, the glenn in this episode is in a very different emotional state than the glenn who answered the phone at castle ravenloft. he has been though hell, he has had his soul thrown from his body, he’s been put on trial, he’s been held in solitary confinement and been periodically tortured for nearly a decade, he’s had his entire life usurped by a fucking cop of all people, he has had his son, the only family he has left, the person he loves in this world more than anything, look him in the eye and tell him that he hates him. like, it is very very reasonable to assume that glenn is in a much more fragile state, and that being confronted with morgan’s voice now absolutely would push him over the edge and make him finally break. like that is an extremely reasonable and valid read on the character. i just don’t know if it feels 100% right to me.

i don’t know how that scene would have gone if freddie had been playing it, but i do lowkey suspect it would have been a bit different. not better or worse, not even necessarily more or less satisfying, just different.

BUT that does lead to the silver lining in all this. the thing we have going for us in terms of glenn’s characterization moving forward is that the players all know who they - and more importantly in this case, each other - will be playing in the next episode. which means that if there is anything freddie wants or doesnt want in terms of glenn’s characterization, he can discuss it all with will in between recordings. and yeah “spirit of improv” blah blah blah, the point is that if he does have a secret master plan of the nuances of glenn’s emotional state and how to deal with the current situation, he has a method of making that known to the guy who’s been handed the reins.

and honestly i think this might actually be a bit of a win-win, because (and this is just my own baseless impression of a complete stranger who i do not and will never actually know, so take it with a massive grain of salt) i kind of lowkey get the impression that freddie might not be entirely comfortable with performing really intense emotional scenes? and lord knows that is absolutely will’s wheelhouse, like, dude has made me cry so many times over the course of this podcast, he is a goddamn powerhouse when it comes to emotional performances. so like, there is an opportunity here, if it is in fact what the players actually want (which, again, this is complete speculation), for everyone involved to kind of have their cake and eat it too. we as the audience get the emotional payoff for glenn, freddie doesn’t have to fake-cry on the podcast if he doesn’t feel comfortable doing so, but he still gets the opportunity for input as to his vision for how this would all play out.

anyways, i’m likely wrong about all of this. i used to think i had an idea of where this arc was gonna go, but everything’s been so buckwild (in the best possible way for the most part) that i’ve accepted the only thing i’m usually right about is doodler shit and am now just settled in and enjoying the ride lmao.

#og #dndads #long post sry i have a lotta thoughts n feelings

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smolawkwardkidlat · 4 years ago

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some thoughts about: Elias and his revenge

another post about Elias from Jose Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere. mostly about what the fuck happened to him in Chapters 54 and 55, and what I think that says about the character development he underwent before the story began and the development we missed out on when Rizal nerfed him.

I’m using the English translation as reference, with occasional recourse to the bits of the Spanish Gutenberg copy I can understand. like in the last one, the bold isn’t quite for emphasis, it’s just to make some phrases jump out because large blocks of text and my attention span are not friends.

Elias is a supporting character in Noli, a solitary wanderer on a revenge mission with a strange tenacity when it comes to life debts, despite the fact that he doesn’t actually like his life a lot—which is fair, because it sucks.

despite appearances, he is actually on a revenge mission. he isn’t just wandering aimlessly; he doesn’t mention a goal to Ibarra in Chapter 50, but his rage in Chapter 54 and his passing remark to Salome in Kabanata X reveal that his true purpose in Laguna is to find out what happened to Pedro Eibarramendia and/or his descendants.

what his plans were for when he did find out aren’t exactly clear—in Chapter 54 he goes into shock and furiously demands that Ibarra “give an account” for his family’s misfortunes before almost attacking him with knives from Ibarra’s own collection. most of that can be explained by the fact that he was already very agitated when he got there that evening, and Ibarra’s stubborn refusal to get himself to safety probably made him even more anxious. however, before he can really do more than give Ibarra dagger-eyes and possibly a bruise, he loses his nerve and gets the hell out of there. “What was I going to do?” he mutters, and runs.

you could look at it as an expression of horror at his own actions. it’s true that he doesn’t seem very remorseful about his hand in the death of Lucas’s brother, and I get the feeling he wouldn’t have been very nice to Lucas if they’d been able to really talk after the graveyard, but neither of them are Ibarra. he has designated Ibarra as someone he has a duty to help—and in any case, he must know on some level that Ibarra isn’t responsible for what Don Pedro did. Ibarra might have other scores to settle with other people, but between him and Elias personally there’s no real beef, and Elias knows (and more importantly, cares about) that.

that’s part of it, certainly. I’m just going to add another bit—that the question is also (sort of) an expression of derision. what was I going to do, kill him? with his servants all in the house, having seen me go in? what was I going to do, stab him? with his hands free and in a room full of his defenses? what was I going to do after that? everything he says and does—and how he says and does it (jerkily and then all in a rush)—suggests that he doesn’t really know what he’s doing; he either didn’t plan for this specific situation (and to be fair, it’s pretty unusual to discover who your target is while you’re in his house helping him protect himself) or he didn’t actually plan for this at all.

and that, combined with what we know of his backstory and his personality, implies some things to me! this is where we cross into speculation, so take this all with a grain of salt.

look, while Elias is the guy who jumped into a lake to kill a crocodile without even a fucking knife and went to break Ibarra out of prison with a boat, hay, and some sacks, he’s had months at least, possibly years, to think about what he’s going to do when he finds what he’s looking for. not being prepared for every eventuality seems pretty standard Elias tbh, but to be so thrown off that he clearly telegraphs his intent to commit a crime and then runs away without doing it? what did you think would happen, Elias???

nothing.

like, he doesn’t think nothing will happen, he just hasn’t really thought about it. he’ll track down the Eibarramendia family, and then what? he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it. he either doesn’t have the energy or doesn’t have the capability to figure out what happens next.

for my money, the revenge mission is his way of coping with the upheaval of his life and then the deaths of his father and sister.

(it’s not a particularly good way of coping—it channeled and fed into his inflexible sense of duty to the point that he hardly gave anything else priority, and he seems to have put off actually processing things in the meantime, neither of which are good. and because he’s still somewhat stuck there, he’s also stuck in his self-pity and self-centeredness. he’s evolved a bit since then, but you can tell that he’s still mostly used to being his own world.)

Elias was jerked out of his lifestyle and mindset and subsequently had to deal with anger, resentment, and grief he didn’t know what to do with. at first I suspect he took it out on things with less restraint than we see in Noli, earning him his fugitive status and reputation.

however, over time, and due to several factors both in and out of his control, he developed in a quieter, gentler direction. he put the unwanted emotions into his grudge, where it was easier to handle for the time being, and clung to it despite the beliefs he later formed because if he didn’t the turmoil became unbearable. Chapter 55, I think, is evidence; if those gunshots hadn’t startled him, maybe a 50/50 chance he would’ve survived the night.

honestly, just for that reason I wish he hadn’t died. I understand why he couldn’t really be given page time between Ibarra’s arrest and prison break, but it would’ve been interesting to see what he did after one of his primary motivations went bust.

#nmt #noli me tangere #nmt analysis #some thoughts about #elias #nmt elias #smol analysis things #long post #medyo mahaba ata eto #but it could've been a lot longer lol #i just focused on the revenge thing #have another elias one while i struggle with ibarra and basilio #lol #this will probably factor into AnK!elias's character #because i loooove the parallelism #sue me lmao #thank you @artisticmaniacwithapen for the motivation to finish this one up

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c-chickens · 4 years ago

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Let's Predict: Who Will Take Itadori's Side?

(Spoilers for chapter 137 ahead!!!)

The Shibuya Arc is finally wrapping up and we are transitioning into a new arc that is looking to be just as stressful as the previous arc. Yuta has now been tasked with executing Itadori and he seems keen on going through with it (though there is speculation that he's just saying that to save face). We have no idea of the whereabouts or status of most of the characters, so it's currently unclear how much time has passed or how much everybody else knows abt the situation in Shibuya. And depending on how Gege intends on playing this out, it could be a while until we see the status of our main characters. … Waiting games suck ass. So I say why not make myself look like an idiot and make predictions on who will side with Itadori that are likely wrong in order to pass the time :D ?

This will be split into three groups: "Yea", which will be for Itadori, "Nay”, which will be against Itadori, and “Undecided”. I'll then list the characters along with my reasoning.

YEA:

Megumi Fushiguro

Do I rlly have to explain this one? I mean, if you’ve been paying attention it is very clear that Fushiguro cares deeply for Itadori. His whole shtick is “If you die, I’ll kill you”, so next to siding with Itadori it’s plausible that he could also end up fighting Yuta (or whoever tf threatens Itadori) in order to protect him. I think that while Fushiguro’s feelings on what Itadori did would be complicated, it wouldn’t suddenly make him want to abandon Itadori. Their bond goes much much deeper than that.

Nobara Kugisaki (assuming she’s alive)

Next to Fushiguro, Nobara knows Itadori the most and therefore knows that Itadori isn’t just some murderer who would let this happen voluntarily. She trusts him and cares for him, I don’t think she would just up and leave him at this stage.

Masamichi Yaga

Yaga doesn’t seem the type to just immediately give up, he seems like a stubborn dude. And so with his ass being thrown under the bus by the higher ups, I think he’ll double-down on keeping Itadori alive rather than go against him now that Gojo’s gone.

Panda

Kind of a reach here, but I just think that Panda has made a clear distinction between Itadori and Sukuna, and doesn’t view what Sukuna did as Itadori’s fault.

Aoi Todo

They’re brothers, what more has to be said? Even after Itadori exposed himself and his actions to Todo during the fight with Mahito, Todo raised him up and stayed by his side. Ain’t no way he’s gonna up and abandon him now. (Same goes for Choso, but it’s unclear what’s going to be done with him)

Yuki Tsukumo

I can’t really explain it, just a gut feeling. Based off what we’ve seen of her so far, I just don’t think she would want Itadori dead.

NAY:

Atsuya Kusakabe

Mans made it 100% clear to Panda in an earlier chapter that he had no intention of siding with Itadori and stated that he wants him to executed.

Yoshinobu Gakuganji

Gakuganji literally wanted Itadori dead during the Goodwill Event Arc. And while Yaga and Gojo were able to quell that temporarily during the baseball game, I think the events of the Shibuya Incident give him the perfect reason to advocate for Itadori’s death again.

Mai Zenin

I honestly don’t think she likes Itadori in the first place. Plus before the Goodwill Event she was all like “Aww aren’t you glad Itadori is dead?” to Nobara and Fushiguro and I don’t remember her ever going against that or having a reflection about it like Kamo did so there’s that.

Momo Nishimiya

I think that Momo looks up to Mai a lot and tends to follow in her footsteps. So if Mai’s against Itadori, Momo probably would be too.

Mei Mei

Mei Mei’s whole thing is finding “service potential” in others which is just the future benefits that an asset/person are expected to bring. So with that paired with how things have been hinted to be going economy-wise and assuming that she doesn’t see any benefit to keeping Itadori around, she’ll probably go against him.

Naobito Zenin (assuming he’s alive)

I’m not completely 100% on this one, a lot of it is just the vibe he gives off. Plus I feel that since he wanted Gojo to fall and was glad that he got sealed he’s also fine with Itadori being killed too. He’s one of the higher ups that Gojo was actively fighting against, same goes for Gakuganji.

UNDECIDED:

Noritoshi Kamo

He’s already had his lil mini arc of going from wanting Itadori dead to accepting him as a human being who’s seperate from Sukuna. However, I don’t think he’d be so quick to immediately side with Itadori. He’d probably be a lot more conflicted.

Maki Zenin (assuming she’s alive)

This one was so hard to place!! But I put her here because I believe there’s going to be a tug o war between who to align with, Yuta or Itadori. So, assuming that she’s alive, I think this will be a hard choice for her.

Shoko Ieiri

I just don’t think she gives a fuck tbh,,, whatever happens, happens, that’s the vibe she gives off.

Toge Inumaki

I don’t think we know enough abt him for me to make that call. But it will be interesting to see if we do get a bit of his perspective on things, seeing as though Yuta’s reasoning for wanting to kill Itadori is for Inumaki’s sake.

Utahime Iori

I don’t know enough about her to make a definite call, so she’ll stay in undecided.

Kasumi Miwa

I don’t think she has any strong opinions on Itadori. Like she didn’t want to kill him during the Goodwill Event, but I don’t think that means she doesn’t perceive him as a threat, especially after what happened. So I think she’ll try to stay on the sidelines for this.

Takuma Ino

Don’t know enough again, plus I feel that he’ll be more focused on Nanami’s death than anything else :(

Closing Thoughts:

Even though I’m pretty confident in a lot of my guesses in this list, I could honestly see it going in the other direction too! And with Gege’s constant subversion of expectations I expect my predictions to fall flat like a pancake lmao. But I think that’s part of the joy I get from Jujutsu Kaisen: I love seeing my theories and predictions torn to shreds because Gege always comes up with something even more exciting than whatever I had in mind. So! With that being said, I’m greatly looking forward to what happens next.

#jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #long post #ayo if fushi fought yuta that would be so sick and also depressing #i stg can i just get a chapter that shows how everyones doing i can't take this wait #i need yuta to have a proper reunion with the 2nd years asap

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ryouverua · 3 years ago

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What was the vibe that changed most since Gou, what do you dislike most?

Oh man…

I'm gonna speak somewhat vaguely but still, obvious Sotsu spoilers below.

So there’s a certain subtlety that was still present in Gou (which of course are from the visual novels) that seems to have been entirely lost in Sotsu. I think nearly all of my problems (aside from the staggering amount of content rehashing, especially in the recent episodes) come from that issue.

I was actually telling a friend recently that there were certain dramatic flourishes added to the anime that I was overlooking because I figured it was just a part of working with the medium: ie, the snapping of fingers to signal a loop change, the constant repetition of ‘itchy, itchy…’ which was never a thing in any previous iteration. And there is of course a certain character I was very happy to defend last season - which I still don't regret, with what I knew at the time - because that feeling of nuance was still there.

Sotsu has just... entirely thrown that all out the window. I mean, I guess I should have realized that when we had the most basic, by-the-book version Tsun-Teppei, with the one manipulating him looking straight-up 'kick the dog' evil throughout. L5 Ooishi just flipped and turned into Evil Ooishi at points when the story needed him to - like, could we not have any inner narration at any point to make some of his decisions land better? Mion pretty much went yandere-played-straight with none of the insight Meakashi-hen offered Shion, and so on, so forth. Rena really lucked out, tbh - if we hadn't had Tsumihoroboshi-hen as a guide to what makes her tick for the anime to use as a guide, I think these cracks would've shown up sooner.

And look, I'm sure I'm not going to be the first person to bring up how it's become the Satorika show - and tbh, I don't think I'd even mind so much if all of the other issues weren't around. But c'mon, why would they have a whole episode dedicated to Witch!Satoko taking out Regular!Satoko in order to give Regular!Satoko justification to be redeemable (and lay all of the blame for the terrible actions at the feet of the Witch), only to then try and make a redemption arc for the Witch? And what in the world was that across-fragment fight? I saw some people trying to use Umineko as a justification, and it makes me wonder if they remember all the meticulous world-building that made those magic fights possible. Is this more of them trying to bridge the two? Because if so, they're disregarding all the internal logic and magic systems of both series pretty shamelessly...

Anyway, I've gotten a bit off track and there are probably whole chunks of this that warrant their own deep dive, so I'll leave it at that for now. Suffice it to say, I have no idea how they're going to wrap things up in a single episode and I feel like one of those desperate BBC Sherlock fans clamoring for the secret episode when I start thinking too hard about there actually being more coming, or an unannounced new season in the works, so I'm going to just not speculate about that until we get official word from the studio.

#I'm gonna avoid tagging only because I hate it when people drop posts like this into tags I like #and I really do hope the people still enjoying it currently the best

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mangobone · 4 years ago

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I just watched ep 13 and I’m stunned! Finally, the fog is clearing away and the information shown in the earlier slower episodes is paying off! This time is the Seo’s case thats finally coming to light along with some other things.

This is going to be a long post so go get some water and a snack if you’re willing to read and share your thoughts!

Also, If you haven’t watch the ep, please wait until you do before you read this. You’ve come this far, it’d be worth it:

-I don’t want to rewatch any of the earlier episodes until this season is done, so the Park Gwan-Su case with Hanjo, Choi Bit and Woo Tae-Ha is a little muddle for me so I’d give it a pass, just to say that I loved the acknowledgement to the late Chang-Joon and his incredible efforts, that still ripple through various people. He truly was incredibly smart in that aspect; however it didn’t stop him from turning into the mastermind of 2 serious crimes so I’d love to know how Si-Mok feels about him, 3 years after the whole ordeal.

-The Seo Dong Jae case OH! MY! GOD! (I’m turning into Janice from Friends, sorry) I wasn’t expecting that, but I do remember seeing the young man in the beach and thinking there was something off with him when he was being question by the police and he looked like a deer in theheadlights when he saw Si-Mok; however with the onslaught of information from the rest of the cases and the fact that he was a sort of “victim” from the couple that burndt the restriction line, I completely removed him from my possible culprits mental list. I was shocked today tbh. And I suppose Chief Kim has something to do either with him or the fake witness, that much is clear, but I won’t speculate too much there.

-The scene with Kim...JESUS. Hwang nerves of steel Si-Mok! He truly gave absolutely NOTHING away as he kept apologizing while looking at Kim straight in the eye and wasn’t that INTENSE?!!; I was repressing a scream throughout the whole scene. Btw whats with the forgotten garage control? I wonder if that’ll be significant.

- I really hope Kang Won-Chul won’t get too damaged when the shit hits the fan, with the whole Hanjo business and the war between the Lee’s. I’m also interested to know who was Park Gwang-Su’s younger brother.

My guess is that Si-Mok will have to make a decision between helping Kang Won Chul and following his strict moral code in the end. It’ll hurt whatever the decision, as can see that the appreciation between those two is sincere.

-I hate Oh Ju-Seon. So. Fucking. Much.

-The Eun Soo reference? Jeeeeez that was painful (great scene between CSW and Bae Doona btw) I think self-reproach, guilt and regret are Si-Mok’s kriptonites, as we can see since the Tongyong “incident”, and the fact that the “surviving” student is the abductor will only worsen the feeling for sure as he didn’t suspect him from the beginning. (I have a theory about this but it’ll be way below.

-NOW the scene between Yeo-Jin and Choi Bit? (Aside from the horrendous product placement) Well, Choi is holding back nothing eh? But I like that she doesn’t really tease her, she just asks honest questions (though a bit out of place, IMO) says what she feels she needs to, in order to “protect” both Han and her own interests. On the other hand Yeo-Jin GIRL YOU DIDNT DENY THE STATEMENT! Though I think we all knew she had something of a crush on Si-Mok from the first season, she indeed looks a bit more invested now. And I could guess that one of the reasons why she wanted to be in charge of the Seo Dong Jae is because of Si-Mok’s need to catch whoever hurt another one of his fellow prosecutors.

-Boy! Finally a scene where they find that son of a bitch! The moment when Yeo Jin presents her ID and the musical punk looks around to see if he’ll be able to knock her out and kidnap her JESUS OMG I WAS SCREAMING AGAIN and dismayed that our prosecutor hadnt gone with her! but thank heavens Hwang Si-Mok’s elegant shoe made its appearance, along with the rest of him and I was able to breathe!

-BTW I’m not too sure that Si-Mok will be able to catch him without Han’s help (We know that’s not his forte) by the looks of the teaser but he sure will be yelling at him, and for that I’m more than glad! He needs some catharsis and we all need the information.

Also, I love aggressive Hwang Si-Mok 🙃 (Sorry for the shitty captures, but I didn’t want to invest much time in them)

-From the teaser: WHY THE HECK ARE THEY LOOKING UP? Is there something horrible up there? AND WHERE THE HELL IS SI-MOK?!?

-And also...whoever decided to add a scene from episode 14 (to be confirmed) way back in the teaser for other episodes?!? That’s not cool and I’m sick of being cheated.

-NOW! onto why Si-Mok didn’t suspect the Tongyong “survivor”? Two theories that could be seen as one but here we go:

-Unknown emotions getting in the way:

In the first season the media was trying to destroy his credibility and Yoon Se-Won told Chang-Joon that Si-Mok had undergone brain surgery when he was younger and it was possible that he could be temporarily suppressing his emotions; so what if In these past years and everything that happened with his colleagues and with meeting someone like Han Yeo-Jin, changed him subtly but enough that he could actually empathize, if only for a bit, with Kim Hu-Jeong? And that all of these questions and doubts on his professional capacity are because he’s too worried about his college but he doesn’t know it, just like Prosecutor Kim suggested it, when he suggested that he’d tell Chief Woo that he wasn’t ready to take Seo’s case.

-Mental turmoil

Or what if he’s actually a little bit...depressed? Contemplative? Unsatisfied?

When we start the season, for the first time we see him more as a lonely man rather than an outsider. He’s actually got a farewell party thrown for him that he clearly doesn’t look forward to, he’s watching couples and families stroll by, he admits openly to Kang Won-Chul that he “may never fully understand the things that he should know by a certain age”, he doesn’t let his mother know that he’s back in Seoul and the promised visit is clearly not his idea, and the talk with Yeo-Jin about Eun Soo and the simplicity between living and dying got me wondering about his state of mind. He’s got questions he won’t ask to the only authoritative figure he still respects somewhat (Kang) and he’s more defiant to Woo Tae Ha. So he’s more self-isolated with the only exception being Yeo Jin, to whom he asks questions about her obvious attitude change.

These things, along with Han Yeo-Jin’s change in attitude really got me wondering about both our protagonist but we don’t really get enough time with her to venture theories on what is going on and why she keeps quiet when Si-Mok questions her about her life choices, just that she’s miserable on her desk job with her bureocratic collegues.

Also, I could be mistaken BUT anyone noticed how this is the first time Han Yeo Jin mentions someone from her family in the series? (grandmother).

I’d go on and on writing on the possibility of a Hwang/Han relationship but I feel that those two ending together is just too unlikely, as much we as audience would love it. They truly are made for each other, like a perfect yin-yang, and this season only confirms that she’s the only person who manages to make him eat in peace and make him smile.

Well I’m sorry for offending your eyes with this sea of text but I had to get it all out before tomorrow’s episode!! Going to sleep and hopefully I’ll open my eyes to the new ep!

#secret forest 2 #stranger 2 #stranger 2 tvn #Hwang Si-Mok #Han Yeo-Jin #Bae Doona #Cho Seung Woo #long ass post #I'm sorry but I needed to get it out #I'm really sorry for any typo

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