#i could make a top 20 if i wanted
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very sad to report that i had my first training shift for a new restaurant and it was so nice and everyone who works there was so nice and it seemed like such a relaxed and normal atmosphere (which i am desperate for at the moment) but based on the size of the restaurant and what the other servers said they made on average, i think i’m gonna have to turn the job down because i just make too much money at my current job and i can’t afford a pay cut at the moment
#the girl training me got very excited about a 24 dollar tip which was not even 20%#like………. i made two $100 tips on saturday night i don’t think this is the place for me#that being said it’s hard to say bc i’m a very good server and i take very good care of people so they tip me very well usually#and that girl was honestly kind of a terrible server so it’s like. i probably could make good money anywhere it’s hard to say#but the lack of tables per section/big top tables is a problem#idk!!!! i want a change very badly but everything is expensive and i have some extra expenses at the moment#personal
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why can i literally not function at school like i swear i'm trying i just can't focus????
#luc posts#like i take notes but then i get bored and the doodle on the side of my page thst was meant to take 5 seconds took 10 minutes :(#and then im lost and bc im lost i get all fidgety and i keep doodling and then jts just a cycle#if i work for 20 minutes i feel like ive ran a marathon and i have to take a 40 minutes drawing/staring into the distance break#and im gonna fail maths but theres literally nothing i can do no matter what i do I can't focus for over 20 minutes at a time#and then its the end of class and i feel guilty bc oh i didnt do any work :( like i feel bad and i want to fix it but idk whats wrong so ho#can i fix it if i dont know whats wrong with meeeee#ugh#it literally makes me want to cry am i just lazy is that what it is am i literally useless why cant i work#like i was so ahead kf the average grades and i never learnt to study and now ugh i dont know how to function so i just dont#and it doesn't help that my friends are all geniuses#like they complain about their one mark away from full marks and im just like OH MY GOD if i could just focus then i coukd do so well#likr ok i guess i wont mention tjst i failed that test bc yall sre complaining about getting one mark off fukl makrs#likr fuckkkk okay i have so mucb potential why di i waste jt :(((((#i hate school so mucb#i genuinely consider dropping out sometimes like I CANT DO THIS hiw do these peiole di ut how hiw how someone tell me how to function#like these peiole getting top marks withiut eben truijgn and i tyr and i cant fishcis so i fail snd then ufh i want to die#bc its so embarassing i eas like top 10% of the class a few years ago and now i just cant function like how do these peiple do itso#someone explain ot me how oieolem focus and dony get distracted and ginish things kike ugh
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must be nice, being free for once
#character here is asuka from branch-wdk53#art#zoom in for some details :3 especially the lineart and with her face#i had to retroactively add the little chess pieces bc i drew her hands and was like. ok. what the fuck is she doing#so something here about being able to control others persnaps... with the red shoes' power and all#also liking her updated hair :3 specifically with this ego it makes me think of her like not maintaining it totally#or letting it grow out since she wouldnt care about how shes perceived - like a red shoes possessed agent wouldnt#this is more corroded-y than just her with the ego but yknow. the themes etc#i could see it happening to her considering how often she gets fucked over by the world#wanting to take agency and just do whatever she likes for a time#the perspective here was all just fuck it we ball i literally used 0 references for this. sometimes i just Do That i guess lol#also! the lineart colors come from some just like. making it all a little bluer type stuff#but i also inverted the whole color layer and put it on top and was like. oh thats awesome#since i just selected everything outside of the lineart for the base coloring layer#it also went into the lineart and made some cool stuff with the parts that were or werent colored behind the lines#i will always find a way to have 20 tags on every piece of art i make o7
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youtube
the love of my entire life
#valtteri filppula#no one cares but i'm still gonna rant about this because you don't understanddddd#he's objectively one of the most succesful finnish hockey players. no not just in my biased opinion he really is!!#no other finn has won the triple gold (the stanley cup + olympic gold + world championships gold)#in the latter two he was also the captain of the team 😭#1000+ games played in the NHL#he's also won the swiss league and the CHL#he could have retired. moved to florida and bathe in his money#but what does he do? comes back to play in his home team 19 years after he left#(if we don't count the few games he played here in the NHL lock-out season 2012-13 before he got injured)#in his home team that currently does not even play in the top division??#as one of the owners of the team?? practically for FREE?!#because he wants to give back to his team and help them back to the top division 😭#i mean. what kinda person does that?? 😭😭😭😭😭#i'm bawling at how he walked in the locker room for the first time and introduced himself to everyone (with his nickname!!)#as if all them didn't know exactly who he was. come on he's a living legend??#he said he wants to be treated like everyone else in the team. they're just some boys#and he's won pretty much everything you can win in this sport#look how stark the locker room is in comparison to what he got used to in the fucking NHL and the swiss league 😭#at 40 years of age he's gonna be sitting in the same bus with these youngsters through the darkest of finland's winter#again i cannot emphasize enough that he could have retired to e.g. florida where he used to play for many years#(and where i think his wife is from? but i'm not sure so don't quote me on that)#he's so humble so smart so polite so friendly and on top of that he is handsome as fuck 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i've never had the chance to meet him but this season i really hope i can. although i'll probably cry loads and make an idiot out of myself#i was bawling my eyes off just watching him skate on the ice in his first match this season. it all felt so surreal. he's home again 😭#i've loved him for a thousand years (or just 20. but it feels like thousand years)#i'll love him for a thousand more 💙
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honestly i'm really happy that arjuna gets to be in another non-fgo game, not to be rude but i really dislike how wadarco draws him and rei wataru just does it a lot better
#arjuna could be (and should be) on like. top 20 beloved fate series character lists but his inclusion in grand order doesn't do him justice#wada draws him fine for artbooks but extella art never really seems to grasp what makes him like himself#possibly due to pako's slender figures somber moments and thin lines being at odds with wada's expressive eyes and gesture-filled art#i'm not great at explaining it but pako draws movement very expressively when they do (santkarn fa bhim fes ce)#while usually their characters feel very calm deliberate and still. while wada feels like they want to express momentum and scenes more#is this making sense? anyways. yay arjuna i need a new ssd before the game drops
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so it turns out it was actually never that serious
#the exam literally went fine what the fuck just happened i feel like i just hallucinated that#like im not one of those people that go 'omg i did soooo badly :(' just to come out with top grades if i say it's going to shit#then it's becuase i genuinely wholeheartedly believe it#and my headspace before this exam was the worst it's been in MONTHS like i havent felt that bad for an exam since first year#and i sat down opened the paper and. remembered everything. like i literally just Knew the answers#im not saying ive passed bc am i fuck about to jinx it and i was still riding mainly blind bc i have NO idea where that knowledge came from#but at the very least there was a 35 marker that i KNOW i aced like i could picture the exact lecture slides it wanted me to discuss#and i had all of them memorised so at the very least ive got like. 30 marks. which is enough for me to pass the module#bc this exam is only weighted 75% and with my marks from the other 25% i only needed like 20 marks to pass this exam#which... makes it even more embarrassing that i failed it the first time but whatever!!!!#oh my god im so glad that's done im so happy IM FREE#just been in the kitchen dancing around to my little tunes and texting my friends <3#im meeting up with one of them when she gets off work at 5 and we're going for drinks#so ive got until then to nap and chill and then ill go to the shop and get us some food and wine#and she's gonna come here for a bit & then we'll go. like actually look at me. im having people over at MY HOUSE im going out to buy us WIN#im literally a functioning adult living independently who IS she a misty memory#alas i do only have £23 in my account so this is gonna be such a slay seeing how i make that stretch for a night out#i acc could budget for england when it comes to alcohol i think like the way i manage to have a good funky time with MINIMAL funds#is downright impressive. it's a skill idc what you say#hella goes to uni
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Sorry this is the same anon from before LOL i wanted to clarify something!! When i said incentivize tanking i meant it encourages players to show up to smaller tournaments that they don’t actually intend to put full effort into. Because like you said, the majority of 500s are right around slams/masters! So why would an Iga or Aryna want to go all out in those tournaments knowing that if they’re tired or hurt for the big ones they’re leaving points on the table. It’s just hard on the players all around
Sure, but I mean now we're just back to the scheduling issue which the one thing I think everyone can all agree on (season too long! why 6 mandatory 500s??). But still, I don't necessarily think there's clear incentive to tank 500s for the sake of satisfying the mandatory 6. I just don't think there's any motivation to tank tournaments that are going to count towards your point total anyway, and even if there is, then that's the player's loss (that is, if you're taking the effort to show up, you might as well play). From what we can see, it seems more common for players to just skip 500s entirely if they don't want to play, and accept mandatory zeros.
Of the current top 10 players, only Emma, Dasha, and Bia have actually played 6 or more 500s. I'm pretty sure more of them reached 6 through other means (e.g. Qinwen is allowed to count Ningbo because she did promotional events there, Jess and Elena both have multiple extended periods of inactivity due to injury which might add to their tally). But my point is, I don't think the WTA making it mandatory to play 6 500s even makes much of a difference, because clearly the players are willing to drop points and take mandatory zeros for the sake of scheduling. Which again, circles back to the rather annoying conclusion of "well...those are the rules I guess" when it comes to Iga losing #1.
But the truth is I really don't think any of these players want to tank. Even just going to a 500 event and losing in R1 expends a lot of time and energy. Plus, a lot of these players get first round byes, so they're usually having to stay until mid-week anyway. At that point, I think most of them would rather just skip, take the zero, and prepare for the next tournament. And even if they do go to 500s and tank...then I think that's kind of their problem? Because ultimately they're the one losing out on points. So it could be a strategy employed by some, but it really seems that most of these players prefer skipping to tanking.
#idk. like of course it's hard to evaluate what the general opinion is since i am not a professional athlete#but i also think there's just no strong incentive to tank 500s#i think there IS strong incentive to skip them! which is why you see tournaments like guadalajara and seoul had so many withdrawals#because the players want a break after grand slams so those are the tournaments sacrificed#i just think when you factor in tournament preparation and travel etc etc etc that tanking isn't actually worth it#especially considering the fact that as i mentioend before the 500 draws are getting weaker as more tournaments get added#so if you're showing up as a top seed and might not even play someone ranked in the top 20 until the final...#it just seems kind of like a missed oppourtunity if you tank#but also i do remember some people accused elena of tanking in adelaide so that she could have more time off for AO and look how that went#i think if a player is fatigued enough to consider tanking they would rather just withdraw entirely#but i also think it makes a difference depending on the player because it's easier to play 500s if you're losing earlier in big events#if you lost round 1 of uso then going to guadalajara is a lot easier than if you made the final#idk. i have more thoughts about this because i think it really connects to the entire calendar as well as the more specific scheduling bits#but i dont want to put all of that in the tags#sorry for talking so much
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guys I just survived a ladder that wanted to kill me. cheers
#context- I work odd jobs in film production a lot. I recently picked up a new part timer filming high school football games#this particular one was an hour and a half away so needless to say I was already mentally preparing for a LOT#and I got there and the spot where they wanted me was on the ROOF of the press box. which I knew beforehand#what I did NOT know beforehand was that the only way up or down was a ladder that pops down from said roof#which would’ve been okay but I was carrying three equipment bags like a pack mule#so I climb the ladder and even that was fine until the top step#I faceplant straight onto the roof because there is a barrier that’s like a foot long between the ladder step and the roof floor#so. rough start. but the view is great and once I’m up there it’s kinda fun#until. UNTIL. I wanted to go pee because again. hour and a half drive to get there.#said barrier made it so you have to climb down to get to the ladder step and railing and I pissed around playing chicken with that thing for#for an HOUR playing chicken because I could not fucking handle it#so I get through the first half okay but decide that I’m booking it to the bathroom the second halftime starts#and I forced my fat arse over the ledge and I figured out a grip on the trapdoor thing that helped keep me from falling#and I felt like I’d just made a person break cause like. I genuinely was not sure how the fuck I’d make it down for a bit#after that? might’ve been the high of Doing The Scary Thing but the rest of the time I had fun#I got a nice coach in the press box to help grab my bags as I handed them to him so I could climb down to leave#drove an hour in pitch darkness on country roads to my boss’s house to drop off the footage then 20 minutes home and now#and now I think I could sleep forever and ever but I fuckin did the thing
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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yall i went to a medieval fantasy fair festival thing for the first time of my life and definitely had some kind of sexual awakening at 28 years old
#holy shit at linen shirts i guess. does that count as a fetish?#also i want a fucking cape#and a big hammer#and one of those alchemist glasses?#thats actually top priority#i bought a bracelet and lost it within 30 mins and was too embarrassed to tell my friends#shit was in the woods it was amazing. i saw a woman in a bird witch outfit and she was like 64 i love her#next year im definitely going all days and getting a tent there#there were soooo many people i knew too lmfao i really have been hanging with these people for years without ever going myself#and people of all ages!!#THERE WAS AN HONEST TO GOD BLACKSMITH#also i could make mad bank in that place#they were selling shit i could easily make on my own like potion holders n shit for like 25-30 euros#the entire time i was like damn i have enough shit laying around to make like 20 of these
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what if I shaved my head again
#my haircuts are too expensive for 20 minutes. I need to find a barber#I could just get like a 0 to a 2 fade. I can't smooth it out myself but a barber could#and it would probably only be like $15 right?#also I struggle with haircuts. something about them makes me too aware of my physical body in a way I don't like#I am realizing this is probably why I would skip them for so long when I was younger (also because I was lazy)#and I am really disliking all my haircuts lately even when they look pretty decent#And I would just shave it myself but I don't want it to be all one length. I want the fade ya know#I actually want a longer fade on top and that's what I have been trying to do.... but the way my hair grows means#I can't get the cut I really want because my hair won't do that :(
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misc. daily life photos again .. for the every once in a while that I collect enough over a few months to actually make a photo set out of them lol
#Not sure how to caption every photo because you can unfortunately no longer caption photos so that text appears#under them when you view them. you can only add photo descriptions (which is more about literally describing#the image for people who can't see it or etc.). I wish they had the ability to have both captions and descriptions as both are useful for#different functions but it seems they took captions away entirely so. I guess I'll have to just number every picture and then talk about th#em in the tags or soemthing?? SO.. starting from top left to right --#image 1: blackberries BUT also if you look close.. there's a tiny little bug on them lol#image 2: little water droplets on the back of a leaf that looked cool.. love anything with tiny water orbs#image 3&4: a spiky fuzzy sort of caterpillar outside on a yardwork glove.. small friend#image 5: THIS is such a bad slogan!!! what a lie!!! I personally would LOVE to have a sandwich party! in fact I would rather attend a#sandwich party than a pizza party because it would be fun to sample a wide variety of sandwich platters with all different meats and chee#& breads & ingredients & etc. !! now I just wish I could go to a cool sandwich sampling party w a full buffet of various mini sandwiches :#image 6: a chicken sandwich I made myself at home. with swiss cheese >:3#image 7&8 : HHRGH it's a CAT and also bubble tea!!! AND is pastel teal! but alas.. it was like $20 and I didnt want to pay that but now#looking back on the photos slightly regret it lol. I think it's more because it's a brand name since the cat is some popular cat like hello#kitty or something. I didn't really notice that until later lol. I was just thinking 'OMG A CAT!'. I love all cats. brand or no brand lol#image 9: my single once a year trip to the drink place that has really nice garlic noodles. this time with beef? which was good too. And#the typical drink order of pina colada smoothie (i think it's coconut pineapple and strawberry?). plain matcha bubble tea (favorite and all#I ever get from anywhere). and a strawberry smoothie thing. I also usually get a coffee bubble tea but the place is like 50% of the time ou#of coffee for some reason so. hggh.. Which I know is like everyday food for some people but. I get food from places SO rarely that it's al#ays an event to take a picture about lol. Just cooking at home 99% of the time makes those trips for fancy food more special I guess#Id rather save the money/dont have much in the 1st place .& also am still a freak who hates using apps/dislikes shit like ubereats or etc.#I would literall NEVER get food delivered to my house under any circumstance unless I was dying alone inside on hospital bed rest with no#support system and no transportation and having food delivered to me was my last possible option. otherwise. if I want something so bad#I can just leave the house to physically pick it up myself without involving a middle man to the process and paying more. .. ANYWAY ghjgjh#image 10: BOY in BOX.. playing a new boardgame and he sits inside! rip to my big beautiful son. I miss him.#UpWords is a fun game though. It's similar to scrabble except you can stack the letters? interesting#Okay. that's all the pictures! Also for the record I do think it's a good thing to have image descriptions! I wasn't complaining in the sen#e that I wish they would get rid of them and bring captions back. more just I would like to have both preferrably. I liked being able to#caption things on the occasional post like this where the layout is better suited towards it.#photo diary
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most of the time im like "i love being a freak :) yaay identity :) wahoo" but jesus christ. teenage girls will always make me want to kill myself.
#see a couple of teens in low rise jeans and crop tops laughing at a tram stop ? kms.#stand next to some girls in their 20s talking abt how a guy wont stop snap chatting them ? kms.#GOD right now im sitting next to an insanely loud trio of stupidly rich#oops. rich pretty straightened-hair girls and they r making me want 2 dieeeee#“there r some girls in my group who literally dont talk. like how hard is it? just dont be boring!?”#“omg im literally so adhd at this point its getting a bit spectro (?)”#“like i was literally like crazy they should've put me in the psych ward fr”#I DONT WANT TO INSINUATE THAT POPULAR PRETTY NEUROTYPICAL GIRLS DONT HAVE PROBLEMS. I KNOW THEY DO.#i just wish they knew how f u ck i n g hard life can be#i wish i could shoot anyone who uses adhd or ocd as an adjective#FUCKING FAKE TAN. WHO THE FUCK WOULD EVER FAKE TAN.#jesus christ. i feel like the most tistic dyke in the world.#AND im wearing a singlet today so my armpit hairs are out#i am a recovering shaver#man i feel like im in grade eight#txt
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i guess if i had criticisms of or like. wishes. for the writing on shtola it would be that i would like to see more how her being blind actually affects her and for her to face something that really made her struggle with her convictions
#like. aang i guess is the only example off the top of my head agdhsjsj#the problem is that shtola convictions don’t really lend themselves to struggle bc her convictions are things like#‘i want to know the secret at the heart of the world. i want to know the truth.’#which is a lot harder to challenge than like ‘i refuse to kill anyone including the fire lord’ lmao#like someone who is always open to learning is going to be difficult to challenge that way#or maybe she could have something she really wants to do not work out#idk just like something that’s not easily solved?? a long term emotional arc like thancred gets in shb#idek what it would be though i need to think more#she does have some growth like she was never really a *leader* necessarily before shb and in 5.3 she tells you#to make sure she makes time for things that aren’t books lol#she does get a lot of screen time and i love her dearly obviously which is why i want a little more for her you know??#idk if any of this makes sense…let shtola struggle more basically but she doesn’t have to *change*#it’s 12:20 am idk if this makes sense i’ll probs delete it in the morning im just talking to myself shdjsjdc#i need a text post tag#brain just going back and forth between shtola and estinien and i didn’t see him today but i did see her!
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ok. the other problem i have is that i simply do not have the brain for combos
#arguably its not about using ur brain its about muscle memory i guess. but Whatever#if it needs more than like 3 moves my brain simply shuts down LMAO#another argument u could make (off the top of my head coming from someone that doesnt actually know fighting game mechanics well)#is that u dont need to have Set combos memorised#but if ur familiar with the moves and know how they lead into each other then thats actually more beneficial cos u can adapt on the fly#except again. that requires reaction. and frankly . i cant do that shfdghdfg#like effective players can put on the Pressure........................... and unfortunately that does appear to require. combo knowledge#basically im fucked ahfshgfdg thats ok i can enjoy this game offline#EXCEPT im locked in survival mode im on stage 20 and just want to die but the level they must be on is too easy to beat#with testament. i know i can just quit but.... i wanna see how far i can go ;_;
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My Top 10 K-Pop Songs of 2022
If you're curious about my top 10 non-k-pop songs of 2022 check them out here!!!
RUN2U By Stayc
Forever 1 By Girl's Generation
After Like By Ive
Heart Burn By Sunmi
Chiquita By Rocket Punch
Antifragile By Le Sserafim
Attention By NewJeans
Copycat By Apink Chobom
Eye To Eye By Limelight
Higher By Fifty Fifty
English Release Honorable Mention: Pom Pom By Rocking Doll
I'm tagging: @shyirefly @backtodaydreams @beomieotter @thatadorkablegirl @hinataek @prettywordsyouleft @aigoo-exo @arzehh @orbityyxy also anyone else who sees this im also tagging you! and of course none of you have to do this but it would be nice if you did!!!
#my post#the honorable mention i didnt know if i should just put it on the other list#since it is in english but its by a kpop group#but thinking about it being fully honest i dont think it could compete with the songs on that list imo#but i still really liked the song and wanted to mention it#i hesitate to put really new songs on this list like i thought about adding Limbo by Nature but didnt for that reason#but Higher by Fifty Fifty also came out around the same time#but i have high expectations for this group and i feel like its a song ill like for a long time#oh i didnt explain but thats why i hesitate to put new songs on here#like some songs have all year to go from faves to songs i dont listen too#so i like to remember ones that i loved through a good part of the year#but with songs that are new i have less time with it to see where it ends up#but again i have high hopes that i will like this song for a long time#and plus to be a new song im so obsessed with i feel compelled to put it on here is pretty good on its own#but it is still in the last spot#Eye to Eye is also pretty new but same as Higher im just really into the songs and think ill like it long term#the top song was so easy to pick tho#its been one of my favorites all year and it came out way at the start so pretty impressive but i wouldnt expect less from stayc#i just realized their isnt a single boy group lmao trust me its not on poupous#but i think got7 was the only boy group (and male soloist) i even considered for this list they just didnt make the cut#tho if im honest im struggling to think of any other boy groups ive really listened to this year (like new songs)#also not to be a fake fan but im sorry their is no loona song ill blame it on the current loona boycott#but in reality i think i just liked all these songs more then anything loona released this year#like for sure if i got to 20 songs of the year theyd make it but not with just ten
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