#so i like to remember ones that i loved through a good part of the year
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Heyy queenn 😚😚 I was wondering if you can do katsuki bakugo that talked so much shi abt how he was gonna beat our coochies up but then ends up moaning just as much or louder then us😭. Much love😚💕
shit talker katsuki, vocal too. ;> and imagine katsuki with a slight southern accent. spit
“you wouldnt last three seconds with me, sweetheart. “ hes bold, very bold. his pride made his ego swell, knowing his attraction to you and everything inside, “ youd be begging for me to slow down.”
“you sound so confident,” you chuckle, scrolling on your phone to hear his rambling. sure, youve seen his print.. and it aint no joke. his junk was a good size.. not long, but thick as hell. the perfect combo, the breeder cock. “you never get put in your place, huh?”
“my place? nah,” he chortles, a hand reaching down and shaking his cock through his jeans.. he looked good in the blue jeans. thick thighs just threatened to bust them.. shit. “ not you, or anyone in that fact— has ever fucked me in a place.”
“we’ll def’ see, katsuki.” you mumble, chewing on your lip and side eyeing him. he was inchin’ closer and closer, knowing he was into you, heavily. “you act so high and mighty.”
“and you act like i wont fuck you dumb, baby.”
easier said than done,
once he was finally able to slip himself inside you— he was goo. your slick was more of lube than anything, you know, the kind that make you reeallyy slick.. enough for his cock to always slip out when you rode his dick. you were draining him, his face flushed, blush on his cheeks and ears, he needed to be reminded how tight a woman can be. “what’s the matter, kats? look like youve seen a ghost..” you smirk down, watching him crumble beneath your fingers.
and one thing about it, he was so much louder than you. his ‘oh fucks’ to his ‘awe, shits’ louder than when you moaned his name. his eyes focus hard on his cock disappearing inside of you, fist clenched and unclenched. “b— baaabbyy..” he whined, his eyes crossing when you grind your cervix against his cock.
hes wanted this for so long.. needed you then and there when he saw you sway your hips with sero and mina to whatever spanish song sero listened to. he didnt remember the name, only knowing when he finally danced with you, it looked possessive.. like he had already claimed you.
“baby, please,” he whimpered, squeezing your tits until he looked back up to you. “i beggin’ you..”
“mm? beggin’ fer what?”
“let me come inside.. please.” he scoffed afterwards, his face turning embarrassed and he whimpered as you slowed down for a moment. “no, no no.. please dont stop—“
“gotta make memories, you know?” you giggle sly, pulling your phone out to press record. you aim to have both of you in the photo, having the device witness your.. tango. “you said what, katsuki? you begging to nut in me?”
he growls, but feels your fingers squeeze his balls. “fuck— yes..” he whimpers in defeat, sulking against the couch and having his throat whine when you speed up. “please let me come in you.. fuck youre my bottom— h’ohhhh fuuuuck!” you fondle his balls, parting his lips next and letting a glob of spit into his mouth.
#dvorahasks#katsuki smut#katsuki x reader#katsukibakugou#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x black!reader#bakugou smut#bakugo katuski#kastuki bakugou#bakugou#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#dvorahisouthermindheeh
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I hate being politically knowledgeable so I'll give some real quick off the cuff reasons why you shouldn't doom scroll but should be a little hopeful and stay engaged, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take a break over long periods, I'm basically just laying out some potentials for why you should be joyful towards 2026.
* 2/3rds of government would be needed to enact a large chunk of Project 2025 not counting outright SCOTUS intervention. This matters as for the SCOTUS to even exist as an institution Trump can never be more powerful than they are, putting their interests square opposite of Trump's want to be a dictator. Similarly the business wall street interests that propelled Trump to this point will be facing the harsh realities of an unstable economy long before anything even happens. As Trump becomes more unglued he will lash out more and more which will put Wallstreet, that only wanted him for the immediate sell off we're seeing now, pressed between a dictator wannabe's wishes and a US that is even more isolated from it's allies and trade partners while the citizenry themselves are forced to buckle down due to the very little high tariffs that will double the price of everyday goods forcing companies to either drastically drop prices and sell at a loss or keep prices high like they are now and push it off on the consumer who will buy infinitely less as a result. The most scary part of the Republican agenda is a deck of cards that falls over predicated entirely on Republicans ability to maintain the balance between worshipping corporations and keeping the peons angry and content enough to not strike out.
* 2026 is an inevitable Dem flip for 2 reasons. 1, people will actually live with Trump again and will remember exactly why so many people found him unpalatable in the first place. You can also be sure that any RNC mandate to ban say "Porn", that being anything queer or woman health centric, IVF, Abortion and the rolling back of social safety nets will inevitably cause innocent people to die and shell shock the exact same people who voted for him this time around. After all it's incredibly hard to be Latino, MAGA and happy when your own elected officials hate your guts and very real people you know are being deported in one of the most expensive and brutal moves in American history, rivaling Asian internment camps. 2, none of this is predicted on Trump doing anything more than what he already has promised to do and it is not reliant on Republicans being actual, considerate human beings. Even looking at the vote currently lots of voters chose the couch over voting for Harris with Trump propelling his margins in large part due to Fox News, Rogan, Musk, etc. Dems for their part can just play the fact he is killing any indictments against him, can play the populous card as blue dog conservative l institualist Dems is more dead than ever before and actually focus on the issues that get Dems out to vote, and any and every gaff is just going to be free fuel for Dems. Even more, legacy media has effectively scorned more and more Americans who are now engaging alternative media sources like Brian Tyler Cohen alongside other podsters. I include him specifically due to his high quality but you have the Pod Save America guys, you have The Bulwark, all the way to the obvious loony bin manosphere with the first three being examples of HOW Dems can appeal and win future races while the last one is a highlight of a soon to be burned content mill, most notably because, again, it's going to be real hard to hate women that much when women you know and love have to suffer for no reason. You can also guarantee that the worse parts of Trump's base can and will be reinvigorated to be horrible people which is, again, part of why he lost in 2020 to begin with.
* I mentioned Wallstreet, courts and businesses earlier but it is no secret that the incompetency in each of these places is seeping through to a pretty forceful change towards unions, but even past that they have hit the point where they are the dog who caught the speeding car. Taking the business interests first, consumers have become more and more direct with their connection with businesses not being predicated on convenience nor price but on morality. When Target and Bud Light caved to altright extremists who believe the very idea that different people shouldn't be allowed to exist that opened up a Pandora's box that has seen Target and Bud Light continue to lose business, not because Republicans were their core base, but because the common person believes that queer people are acceptable while treating them as second class is not acceptable. Tesla and Musk are on the up in the stock market but the reality is that Tesla itself has been seeing less and less sales vs 100% tariff Chinese EV's due to Musk's extremism. The immediate bump they're seeing now is great for the current rot economy where infinite growth is the only acceptable outcome for investors, but there is absolutely a potential for these companies to scorn so many people that they become persona non grata and can't continue to operate. We've seen the same thing with anti DEI measures and book bans leading to less teachers and schools, abortion bans leading to less workers period, you combo that with the guaranteed hyper inflation the tarriffs will cause and the financial strife we're looking at an economic down turn that a golden parachute can't save you from, mostly because the people themselves will want a lot more than they were demanding prior. For Courts, the overturning of the Chevron decision, combo'd with the historically low effort supreme court means that more and more laws are becoming impossible to enforce, requiring constant SCOTUS intervention, but if that keeps up like we are already seeing it do so the courts will become paralyzed and cause unrest that we have not seen before, again, as the stalling tactics they used to save Trump will now be the reason for people to be subjected to unjust laws waiting on appeal. The SCOTUS, for their part, is guaranteed to be Republican majority who can and will overstep yet again like they did with Roe, but they can't cede power fully to Republicans/Trump because if they do they will cease to have any power, because dictators don't need a court because they are the court. This tightrope means that any dissent is very likely going to cause these current supporters of the RNC being forced to buck the current support they give. This will be made even worse for them when inevitably Trump pardons January 6th insurrectionists, his cronies and himself, reigniting the heated eyes on the courts without the safety net of Dem institutionalists who will likely lose all power following the collapse of the Harris and Biden campaign. Reminder that it was a nigh gift to Republicans that Biden appointed Merrick Garland, a feckless, cowardly institutionalist himself that was so scared of Republican name calling he refused to actually try and charge Republicans WE KNOW we're involved with the insurrection in order to seem nonpartisan, the miscalculation is that there will BE no more feckless conservative Dem institutionalists as the main two are no longer in the running for leadership with Obama and Clinton having now burned every perceivable bridge to guide the party. I won't say this will lead to a Bernie progressive party, but it will absolutely be more populist and you're going to see way less outreach to Republicans and far more to actual voters who actually matter. Republicans win on low turnout, this was a low turnout election, and NOTHING increases turnout like rage, and honestly? American Dems have a lot more to be angry about that Republicans at this point given the complete and total failure of every single institution meant to act as a check on the President and Political officials.
* The only bill Republicans could pass among themselves was a tax cut for the rich from 2016 to 2018, with a lot of their "Accomplishments" being pen and paper executive orders which are just as easily made as they are broken. Their current R House Congress is one of the least productive in history. Do you truly believe they can actually pull off any dangerous bills or constitutional amendments without absolutely fucking themselves over, especially now that McConnell is out of the picture in Senate and any competent Republican in the House like Cheey, the only person who was capable of getting Republicans the SCOTUS and the only person capable of pretending the party has any morals? The answer is they can't. I have no doubts they'll pass some horrible shit, but will they have to kill the filibuster? Will they have a house majority? If they have a house majority by how much and will they play nice long enough among themselves to pass the bills? After all Gaetz and other MAGA Republicans are not popular among their cowardly peers and their cowardly peers have bucked them before. If you ask me I don't think they can. The most dangerous things they can do involve federal agencies and state governments, but if they do those dangerous things it'll piss people off and we'll go right back to the original point that a pissed off population will be extra bad for Republicans due to the fact that institutionalist Dems are now completely out of favor.
Long worded way to say that you can be hopeful for the midterms. I know this country seems like a horrible place filled with horrible people, cause it is, but that doesn't mean horrible people out number people who care about trans people, queer people, women, POC, etc. The issue is getting those people to vote and not just sit on the couch and it also lies in actively talking the insane Republicans back into reality, a thing they desperately don't want to do thanks to Fox News and Republican media sources. I'm hopeful for 2026, I'm just extremely angry that very real, very innocent people who didn't have to die, who weren't going to die, will, because too many people would rather they die than a Black Asian woman be President. Like I can't even begin to state my disgust that we're back at 2016 again, but like with 2018, 2026 will not go well for Republicans who, even in this election were doing worse among the exact same demographics they had in 2016. A rural vote may be worth 100 votes where I live, but make no mistake that they can and will feel the squeeze that they brought upon themselves, and hopefully they'll learn this time. And if they don't, well, I hold the same common courtesy I do for Nazis; I won't even piss on them if they are fire, cause you can't keep hurting innocent people and expect infinite kindness in return.
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Welp, shit sucks. But we gotta get to work. Lets make the best of a shit situation.
Assuming that voting still matters in two years, we all gotta show up to the midterms. If we can flip congress then, we can reduce republican influence in the second half of the term. Even more than that though, we need to both persuade would be republicans to switch sides and persuade "I wont vote" people to get off their asses. We got two years, start strategizing.
First and foremost be watching the current government like a hawk. Talk about EVERYTHING they do and save all legislation decisions they make on a spreadsheet. Predict what will result, good or bad, and check in later. Make sure that EVERY bad thing they do is brought to attention so that people know exactly what our problem with them is. Make sure that if someone asks why you hate them you have an answer locked and loaded with references to back it up. All their faults need to be on full display.
Second, be pragmatic. Check your own biases. Learn to fact check. Make sure you know your shit on topic you care about.
Queers? Make sure you know your history and the reasons why different parts of the community ask for different things. Why is transition access important? Why are marriage rights important? What role do kink and sexual liberty play in the fight for queer rights? Learn about it. Talk about it.
Feminists? Read up on feminist history. How women's rights have progressed and why they were fought for.
Participate LOUDLY in every history month and visibility day. Make it very very clear why these issues are important.
And most importantly, remember that the goal is to grow support for progressive causes and erode the foundations of far-right fear rhetoric. You do not and cannot achieve that by name calling, insulting, mocking, relying on emotional appeals, demanding perfection over progress, or any number of other behaviors common in progressive spaces. We need to get our shit together. We need to be pragmatic. We need to learn to keep our cool and be realistic. We need to act mature and know what the fuck we're talking about. Not... whatever the hell has been going on up until now.
Shits gonna suck, but if we can support each other to the other through it lets make sure we come out the other end in one piece and with our shit together
Good luck
I love y'all <3
#vent#vote blue#election 2024#us politics#harris 2024#kamala harris#vote democrat#democratic party#liberal#feminist#queer#lgbtq community#pro choice
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KINKTOBER DAY 29 — DUBCON. dabi x f!hero!reader ノ nsfw + dark content warning ノ return to masterlist & view tag list
what happens when your curiosity takes you to the league of villains’ hideout? luckily enough, there’s only one of them there to greet you— and the world seems kind enough to let you off with a sweet deal. fuck him just once to guarantee his silence, or so you thought.
contains ノ tw dark content: dubcon- very heavy dubcon to be safe, mentions of murder, brief mention of being his pet, fear play, reader has a support quirk that is not fit for fighting alone, forced orgasm, temperature play- kind of, hints of manipulation ノ corruption
The day you held your hero ID in your hands for the very first time also happened to be your first instance of being told to stay far away from the League of Villains.
You only vaguely remember the reasoning being that they were too dangerous for a support like yourself (especially one with zero experience under their belt) along with another thing that went in one ear and straight out the other.
A part of you has always wondered why the heroes you worked under had gone through so much trouble to ensure you stay back. Keep you hidden from the spotlight, perhaps- because how could you improve if you were always being protected? It was frustrating to see everyone besides yourself on the news.
Ironically, it’s the same reason why you’ve never been faced with the realization of how weak you really are until your head is being pressed into a table, arms easily held tight behind your back- and an infamous villain right behind you. A real one.
Not a simulation today- not one monitor in sight.
“Shigaraki would have loved to meet you,” his voice sends a shiver down your spine, and you feel danger- a concept someone like you is entirely unfamiliar with. “He’s always had a thing for types like you.”
He pushes back inside- this time slowly, as if trying to brand the moment deep into your mind, and you only manage to weakly whimper when his hands tighten around your wrists, the heat emitting from his body acting as a cruel reminder that he has the power to kill- and you don’t.
“N-no,” the desperation in your voice is painfully obvious, “not him, okay? That wasn’t part of the deal..!” You can feel your heart pounding against your chest at the thought of meeting this man’s leader, breathing short and labored as different images flash across your mind as to what being ‘his type’ would imply.
You feel him throb inside you, and a whimper slips out.
“Ah, of course,” his hands land on your hips before he holds you still, letting himself push deeper inside you until you’re stuffed to brim- full of him. “I just wonder about what would happen to that fragile body of yours.”
“Just think about it…”
You think your body definitely shouldn’t be reacting like this. Underneath the trembling and shivering- your cunt flutters around him. Eagerly and hungrily, as if it’s been waiting for someone like him for years.
“Or… actually, how about this, hero?” He grunts- rougher now, pace picking up enough to make you gasp and lock up underneath him. “Forget the deal. Pay me a visit every week, and the League will never hear about you. How about it?”
“B-but—” You halt as soon as you feel his palms heat up against your skin.
“We both know that muscle-head would have a field day with you.” You feel a cold bead of sweat roll down your temples, clammy hands struggling to keep your grip on the table. Your whole body feels numb- disobedient, but he feels good.
Too good for you to register exactly why your core suddenly feels so tight at the suggestion. “And if I remember, Compress likes types like you too. That guy’s got a mean streak,” Dabi leans to press his chest against yours- cold staples making you gasp, and he whispers against your neck, “he’d break you, you know.”
Your eyes widen- knees locking up, and your heartbeat rises to pound in your ears. “P-please— please slow down—”
He ignores you, only giving you a laugh in response. “What a pitiful state you’d be in. Think about it. I’ve been pretty nice, haven’t I?”
“W-wait!” You’re desperate now, reaching back to push at his hips and rising onto your toes to escape him. “I feel— feel weird—”
Something inside him seems to snap at this. You’re yelping as soon as your head is back on the table the next second- big hand roughly pushing you down and you sob. “What a hero you are,” he’s laughing loudly now, “cumming and crying on some League dick. Where are those pathetic bodyguards of yours now?”
You open your mouth to protest, but he moves to clamp his palm over it- roughly pulling you back in one swift motion until you’re flush against his chest. “Those ones drooling over you? How about I just kill them so you don’t have anywhere left to go? I’ll take you in as my pet,” you feel him smile against your neck- sick and twisted, and your cunt only clenches in response. “Be a good little hero and cum if you agree.”
Your eyes shoot open the same time he slams against a deep part inside you, body betraying every single shred of morality you have left when you cum, hard. It takes you by force, leaving no chance for it to go unnoticed by him when you’re clenching, shaking, and dripping underneath him like this. He has the heart to let go of you, let your weak body collapse onto the table beneath you as your chest heaves up and down for air, tears brimming your eyes and he only throbs inside you once more, hungry for more.
“Then it’s a deal.” His hands run up your sides, content with the way you shiver and lean into his touch. “A good choice, hero.”
dividers by @adornedwithlight
#mha x reader#dabi smut#bnha dabi#dabi x reader#mha smut#dabi x you#dabi my hero academia#dabi#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia smut#dabi todoroki#mha fanfiction#mha imagines#mha drabbles#touya todoroki#touya x reader#mha touya#touya smut#eviewriting#tw: dubcon#tw: dark content
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So I'm technically non-binary or demi masculine but I really just want to talk to whoever asked this and said no and just literally ask them: do you think that trans men just appear in a vacuum? Do you think that we don't have lives before we come out? Do you think we aren't treated like women sometimes even after we come out? Do you think we weren't raised to be good girls and expected to grow up to be women? Do you really think that all of us had supportive families that let us actually be ourselves and not pretend to be women for longer than we were comfortable?
Like I came out as non-binary at 16 but was femme presenting and didn't come out as transmasculine until I was 23 or 24 and already had a child. I definitely know what the female experience is I just do not want to live it and I don't enjoy it and I never really felt as though it was right for me. There's a difference between not connecting with something and just being completely ignorant to it.
Like I can talk about how I kind of knew that I wasn't a girl from the time I was 7 or 8 years old but that doesn't change the fact that I didn't have the verbiage or the cultural understanding until I was in my twenties to realize that I was even "actually transgender" and not just non-binary and essentially close to agender. It's impossible without writing an entire novel to explain to people that transgender men and transmasculine people unfortunately were forced to know what it's like to live as their assigned gender at birth because at certain points in our lives we weren't given a fucking choice.
Shit like this reminds me of whenever I run into people who I went to high school with and they go "oh you used to be such a quiet good girl what the fuck happened?" I realized that I didn't have to be a quiet good girl to be a valid human being and that I was happier being myself but that doesn't mean that I don't still remember what it was like to be a teenage girl or to be a young woman in America.
I was forced to know what that experience is like against my will and bitch I will never fucking forget it.
That's part of why I love and respect women so much to this day because I know that they go through shit especially women of color and transgender women and other queer women, because I was raised by black and native women and was raised with the expectation of being a good mixed girl. I'm not and that's okay but I still fucking sympathize because being a woman is hard and women are impressive for the shit that they fucking go through.
Just because I'm not one anymore doesn't mean I don't get it.
i think im going to lose my fucking mind actually.
this little make believe game that yall are playing where ur all pretending that we have always been passing as cis men is honestly just really sickening to read. as if trans men have never been sexually harassed or abused because society perceives us as women. im genuinely of the opinion that u all just do not believe trans men face misogyny and thats so unbelievably fucked up and just not based in reality. its actually disgusting and vile.
#transandrophobia#transandromisia#discourse#please excuse my typos I use voice typing due to disabilities
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Welts and Caresses
Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Reader
Sharing is Caring - Chapter 2/3
Summary: pain is just as delicious as pleasure when it comes to them
Tags: impact play (thighs and chest), bondage, fingering (R & Rio receiving), Sir Rio, Mistress Agatha, birch rod, biting, marking, oral fixation, light degradation, hand around neck
masterlist | AO3
Authors note: my asks are open if you want to talk about this au or would like to make a request :)
Rio’s legs hook around yours and forces them wide open. Agatha greedily takes you in. You preen, even with the looming punishment. She always loves to see evidence of what she does to you. Her grip tightens on the birch rod and you try to lessen your punishment one last time.
“Rio, please,” you whimper. “I didn’t mean to.”
Her hand wraps around your chin and forces your head back.
“That’s not my name.”
“Sir,” you quickly correct yourself but it’s too late.
“Agatha,” Rio commands. The birch rod flies through the air before you can blink. A pained gasp leaves your lips at the stinging it brings.
Agatha strikes a mirroring spot on your other thigh. She strikes again just above it and your hips jerk away and then forward. Rio chuckles lowly in your ear.
“You’re not meant to be enjoying this, pet,” she says.
“I’m not,” you deny weakly.
“Oh, is that so?”
Agatha’s next strike lands centimetres from your cunt and you moan. The pain immediately turns to pleasure.
“You’ve always been such a terrible liar,” Agatha says and twirls the rod in her hand. She flicks it and you flinch, bringing a smirk to her face. Rio starts to gently bite your neck to prepare you for when she sinks her teeth in.
Agatha strikes you in the same spot and you cry out, tears gathering. Rio bites down and you moan, hands moving to grip her thighs tightly. You start to rock gently in Rio’s hold and Agatha tsks.
“Always so needy,” she says.You whine and try to open your legs wider, begging for some relief. She hits you again instead. “Rio, be a dear and hold her still.”
That’s not a good sign. Rio’s the one meant to be in charge. They share a look that’s more than familiar to you. It means they’re talking to each other telepathically. Which is never good for you.
“Gladly.” She forces your hands behind your back and holds them with one hand while the other forces your chin up again. “Head back, darling, you really don’t want Agatha to miss and ruin that pretty face of yours.”
Miss?
You can’t see the hit coming and pain flares along the side of your breast. You cry out in surprise and try to get out of Rio’s hold. A silly thing to attempt when it comes to her.
“This is meant to be a punishment,” Rio reminds you. “If your cunt is so greedy touching anywhere near it brings pleasure then we’ll just have to hurt you somewhere else, won’t we?”
“Yes, sir,” you say with tears thick in your voice. The heat heading straight for your core. It’s strange for Agatha to be so quiet but her heavy breathing tells you she’s barely hanging on to her control. Having you like this again is effecting her more than you thought.
The next three strikes burn but you don’t cry out again until Agatha hits your nipple. She does it again. Your core throbs, your clit pulses.
“Please,” you whine.
“Please what?”
Agatha hits you again and you can’t remember.
“Please what, pet?”
“Don’t tell us you want to stop.”
Rio’s hand releases your chin to slither down to your cunt. She laughs when she finds you dripping.
“Definitely not stop,” she says.
Agatha returns to your thighs and you arch.
“Please what, pet?” she demands.
“Please fuck me,” you beg.
Agatha strikes your thigh again and a tear slips down your cheek as you strain against Rio’s hold. Rio moans low in your ear. This is her favourite part.
Agatha strikes you one more time, just to hear your pained whine of “mistress” before dropping the birch rod and stepping forward. Rio stops her.
“You’ve had your turn, Agatha,” she says. She releases your wrists and curls a hand around your waist. Her nails skim down your stomach to tease your clit. You moan quietly and arch into her touch. You’re always so sensitive after impact play and Rio has no problem taking advantage.
You watch through hooded eyes as Agatha clenches her jaw. Her hand twitches and you know that if she had her magic you would be flying out of Rio’s hold.
Rio holds eye contact with Agatha as she continues to lightly circle your clit. Even with how riled and sensitive you are it’s not enough pressure, which is something you just suffered through with Agatha. That and the thought of coming again without anything inside of you has you quickly devolving into mindless begging.
“Please, please, please, please.”
Your begging never sways Rio, you get what she’s already decided you deserve, but you know she loves how pretty you are when you’re so desperate.
She slips three fingers into you without warning and you cry out. Agatha watches the way you arch into Rio’s fingers and how you moan pathetically when she curls them.
“Is this what you were doing, Agatha? Were you fucking my pet like this?”
Agatha’s face darkens at the possessive claim. One of them claiming you in such a way always lead to an amazingly intense scene but you can’t predict how it will end now that Rio has a magical claim to you that Agatha doesn’t.
“Somebody had to.”
“Oh?”
“She was so tight I almost couldn’t fit.”
“Maybe you just didn’t get her excited enough.”
“Her dripping down my hand indicates otherwise.”
Rio moans quietly at the image. Her fingers are relentless and you struggle to stay present as you float higher and higher.
“Were you really that desperate, pet?” she asks, her voice gravel. “Was my stuffing you full this morning not enough for that greedy cunt of yours?”
You know she wants a response but you’re so close that all you can manage is a high-pitched whine.
“Such a needy whore,” she says before sinking her sharp teeth into your delicate skin. Fresh, tingling pain joins the stinging of your chest and thighs which all roll into a deep heat that pulses in time with your clit.
You don’t have the words to ask for permission but Rio’s other hand finds your clit and it’s enough. Your eyes roll back as euphoria floods you. You happily drown in the feeling of what these women have done to you.
You float slowly back down into your body. Pleasurable tingles still travelling through you as you become reacquainted with your surroundings. Rio is gripping you tight to ground you and her tongue laves over her fresh marks on your neck. You’re completely limp in her arms.
Soft fingertips trace the marks on your thighs and your eyes flutter open. It shouldn’t be so shocking to see Agatha kneeling above you but it is. She’s so close.
Those soft fingers tips press down which pulls a needy sound from the back of your throat. Rio’s own grip tightens around you at the noise, her wet nails digging into your weak flesh.
Agatha’s eyes never leave your face as her fingers trail to the next mark and press down again. The heat beginning to stir again has you asking,
“Pl-“
Rio is quick to silence you, pressing her slick fingers into your mouth. You eagerly open your mouth wider despite your intention to talk. Your own tangy flavour fills your mouth and you moan. She doesn’t press down like Agatha did earlier, you’re already docile enough, but it’s a quick and easy way to keep you pliant when denying you something you want so badly. It’s still a struggle not to whine when you lose eye contact with Agatha, although a small part of you is glad you’re not the recipient of the dark look she gives Rio.
“Is this how you had come in your mouth, pet?” Rio asks, completely unrepentant. “Too dumb to realise the rule you were breaking?” Rio’s gaze never leave Agatha’s. “Or did she force her fingers down your needy throat?”
You don’t bother to try to answer. She already knows. You’ve never been able to deny Agatha.
Agatha grips Rio’s wrist and pulls her fingers out of your mouth. You whine at the loss. Which is quickly forgotten as Agatha leans in. Anticipation has your toes curling. It doesn’t matter that she was kissing you three fucks ago, it feels just as exciting as the first time you realised you’d finally get to feel her again. Just as her lips brush yours, Rio grabs her chin. Agatha growls at her but Rio doesn’t let go.
“Only I’m allowed to taste her cunt,” Rio reminds her.
“No,” you whine and reach for Agatha. Tree roots wrap around your wrists and force them down against your sides.
“Come now, sweetheart. We can’t celebrate the good old days with such a thing in the way,” Agatha says, her voice low and soothing. Her hand traces along Rio’s thigh. You can feel the tiniest stutter in Rio’s breath. It always amazes you how much of an effect Agatha has on a person.
“That won’t work on me a second time, Agatha,” Rio says, pulling her closer by her chin. Their cheeks brush yours.
One second they’re about to kiss and the next Agatha is going for Rio’s throat. Agatha’s hand flashes past the corner of your eye and Rio snarls in response, a bright spot of red showing she’s dug her nails into Agatha’s skin. Agatha jerks her face out of Rio’s grip, causing a bigger cut.
Rio disappears from your back and Agatha goes around you. The roots keeping your hands trapped to your side anchor themselves into the dirt. Turning your head only shows movement in your peripheral. Struggling is useless so you lay down instead. Tilting your head back you can watch their dance upside down.
Your eyes widen as Agatha pins Rio, a hand wrapped firmly around her neck.
“Don’t be such a brat,” Agatha admonishes, inches from Rio’s face. Rio chokes herself by pressing up against Agatha’s hand to brush their lips together. A wheeze escapes her as Agatha’s hold tightens. “If you’re needy then just say so. Don’t deny me what’s mine.”
Rio snarls up at her. Her knife appears in her hand but Agatha knocks it out of her grip before you realise it’s there.
“She’s mine,” Rio growls up at her.
“And you’re mine,” Agatha growls right back. She kisses Rio fast enough that their teeth clack but it’s only a moment before she has control.
Rio moans. You can’t take your eyes off of her. It’s always beautiful to watch one of them melt under the other.
Agatha’s hand forces its way into Rio’s tight pants and you recognise the start of a quick, dominating fuck between them. Something they desperately need if the tension between them the last few days says anything.
Agatha breaks the kiss to run her lips over Rio’s neck. She nibbles at a sensitive spot as she slides her fingers inside of Rio. Rio’s hips press back with just as much force and bares her neck to Agatha. Agatha bites down and what little resistance Rio has left leaves her.
You whine and tug at your restraints, trying desperately to get to them. Being able to play when one of them gets like this is heaven. Agatha’s looks at you without lifting her lips from Rio’s skin.
“Keep her occupied won’t you Rio dear?”
“No!” you gasp.
“No?” Agatha asks in that dangerous voice of hers, slowly lifting her head to meet your gaze.
“No-,” you wince at saying it again, “I mean you- I want to feel you. Not magic.”
“I don’t remember asking what you want, pet,” she says.
You whine pleadingly. Rio makes an impatient sound and the roots around your wrists untangle. You immediately crawl to them. Something wraps around your ankle and tugs. You yelp as your arms give out under you. Your welts burn as you the ground. The thing around your ankle grows and winds up around your leg, a twin joining it on your other. Sprouts emerge near your hands and your forearms get the same treatment. You’re prone in a second.
You look up pleadingly at your owners but you’re only met with delight. Agatha drinks in the new position while Rio watches with a smirk. You try to beg again but something nudges your clit and the words turn into a gasp. It’s soft. A texture you’re familiar with but can’t quite name.
Agatha returns to marking Rio’s neck. You can’t tear your eyes away from the way her hand moves in Rio’s pants. The almost of it is tantalising as you picture the exact position her hands are in, the way her wrist twists and her fingers curl. It leaves you panting.
The soft thing nudging your clit begins to press more firmly against it and your thighs twitch. Rio arches into Agatha and it begins to vibrate. You gasp and try to chase the feeling but you can’t. It drifts away from your clit before brushing up against it again, nowhere near the firm pressure of before, and begins to circle your clit. You moan.
Agatha has to release Rio’s hands to get her shirt open. Rio is more than happy to bury them in Agatha’s hair, moaning wantonly when Agatha finally gets her lips around her nipple. You watch as they meld into one another. The vibration against your clit nothing more than a tease. It’s only when Agatha has thoroughly marked Rio’s chest and you can sense that Rio is close that you beg.
“More. Please, mistress.”
Agatha doesn’t bother to look up.
“You said you didn’t want to feel magic,” Agatha reminds you, twisting your words. “If you’re going to be so picky you’ll have to wait your turn.”
You don’t say anything else to avoid whatever plant-related gag Rio would think is funniest. Watching the way her face scrunches up in pleasure may be enough to get you over the edge anyway.
Her claws are tight in Agatha’s hair and against her back. Instead of throwing her head back and arching into Agatha, she bends around her. Her head leans against Agatha’s shoulder. It would look like she was cradling her if it weren’t for the movement of Agatha’s fingers.
Rio makes that small noise she always does just before she comes and you watch in awe as she comes undone. She’s still trembling when Agatha pulls out and puts her own fingers in her mouth. The low moan Agatha makes has you and Rio shivering. She slowly pulls them out, holding eye contact with Rio the whole time, before holding them out to you.
“Do you want a taste, pet?”
“Yes, please,” you say and strain toward her. The light buzz on your clit is nothing compared to the taste of your owner. The roots holding you down disintegrate and you scramble to kneel next to Agatha, mouth open. Her fingers slip inside and a hint of Rio fills you. You moan and run your tongue around her fingers.
She only allows you a few moments of bliss before pulling out again. The sting is soothed by her pulling you in for a deep kiss. Her tongue slipping into your mouth the second you give her an inch. Her grip tightening tells you she likes what she finds.
Your lips make a wet noise when she pulls back. You chase her automatically but her tight hold stops you.
“How’s that for not tasting cunt?” Agatha says.
Rio huffs an amused sound. She looks quite happy to just lie there, staring up at her victorious witch. You watch as Agatha allows herself to bask in the feeling of your adoring gazes. It must’ve been a long time since she’s had something like this. That wasn’t hidden behind half-truths and a pile of lies.
Of course she doesn’t allow it for too long given…everything that’s happened in the past. You try to sneak in another kiss but she does little more than brush your lips together before getting up. Rio is quick to follow her and the only thing stopping you from bratting out is the stinging on your thighs. The teasing has made your ache return full force but neither of them acknowledge it.
“Time to go, pet,” Rio says casually. Her magic quickly putting her clothing to rights.
You pout up at her. Agatha hasn’t eaten you out yet. You thought that’s where the whole struggle was leading to. Rio flicks your forehead to get you to stop. It works. Your face reflexively scrunches. Then you’re distracted by the pleasant feel of her magic trickling over you. Clothes reappear, straighten and lose stains. Your hair is neatly put back into place.
“I don’t see why you went through the trouble,” Agatha says. “The fucked out look really suits her.”
You preen. She may be using a sarcastic tone but you know how much she loves your ruined look.
You say on your knees until Rio motions you up. You immediately snuggle into her side, nosing at the new marks on her neck for attention. She clicks her tongue and you give up any hope of another round. That doesn’t mean you move away.
“You can join us, Agatha,” Rio says with a rare seriousness to her voice.
Agatha scoffs and turns around like there wasn’t a hint of longing on her face a moment ago. You curl tighter into Rio and her arm wraps around your waist.
“Don’t worry, pet,” Rio says. “We’ll convince her.”
#birdsong sings#birdsong writes#agatha all along spoilers#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agathario#rio vidal#agatha harkness x rio dival x reader#agatha harkness x rio vidal#agatha x rio#agatha x rio x reader#rio vidal x reader#rio x reader#agatha x you#rio x you#x reader#agatha fanfiction#agatha Harkness fanficiton#Rio fanfiction#Rio Vidal fanfiction#smut#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness x rio vidal x reader#rio vidal x agatha harkness#sharing is caring series#agatha x rio x you#rio v.#agatha h.#agathario x reader#agathario x you
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Detective Work on the Other Side
We getting into my own HCs now, enjoy the lore!
Sleep King Master post (it should actually work this time)
---
It felt weird sitting in the Specter Speeder as Phantom with his parents. It wasn’t that long ago that he’d finally told his parents himself, but just like Jazz had said they’d loved and accepted him as is. Danny was still getting used to it.
Danny pointed out the windshield, “That island there should be good.” It was little more than an oversized boulder with some grass on it, but it was big enough for the speeder and was pretty close to Johnny and Kitty’s lair, so it would do. Once they landed, the three Fentons disembarked so Danny could let the lovers out of Soup Time.
“Ugh, finally!” Johnny griped once they were set free.
Danny crossed his arms, “How do you keep getting into Amity? We put extra protections on the portal, no one should be able to get through.”
“Your dinky portal isn’t the only one in the whole world,” Kitty said with an eye roll.
“You just gotta know where to look,” Johnny added with a wink.
“Well stop it! I don’t want to have to repeat a grade!”
“Then stop chasing us. Jeez, no one’s forcing you.”
“Danny, sweetie,” Mom interrupted, “ask them about the summoning.”
“Summoning?” Kitty asked, perking up.
“It’s really concerning,” Dad said while scratching his head.
“Yeah, I was asleep so I don’t really remember it but I got summoned last night.”
“How’d you sleep through a summoning?” Kitty asked incredulously with a sneer.
Johnny just nodded, “Damn, wish I could sleep through a summoning.”
“I don’t know!” Danny threw his hands up in the air. “The really weird part is they were trying to summon Pariah!”
That got Johnny and Kitty to stop laughing. “Oh shit, really?”
“Johnny! Don’t cuss around the baby!” Kitty smacked his arm lightly.
“You owe the swear jar,” Dad boomed eagerly.
Johnny just rolled his eyes.
“That’s what we were told,” Mom cut in. “There was a cult that was trying to summon the Ghost King and somehow got Danny.”
“Wait, were they trying to summon Pariah by name or the Ghost King title?” Kitty asked eagerly.
“Ghost King,” Mom said decisively.
“Oh no,” Danny said. His grades may be in the toilet, but even he could put two and two together. “No, there’s no way I’m the Ghost King!”
“Maybe,” Kitty said while looking Danny up and down.
“Not like it means anything,” Johnny said airily.
Danny thought the matter over, “How does it not mean anything?”
“Well Pariah just declared himself the Ghost King one day, others only listened because he forced them to. And it’s not like we need a king, we’ve had the council ever since.”
“Ugh, stupid eye balls,” Danny griped. “But yeah, if he just decided to make himself king I guess it doesn’t really mean anything.”
Mom sighed deeply, “You mean like Alexander the Great? Or Ghengis Khan? Or William the Conquerer? Or anyone else from history who declared himself in charge and then killed anyone who didn’t listen?”
Danny drooped, “Okay, so maybe it does matter. But how would that even work? Why am I the Ghost King now?”
“Dunno,” Johnny said with a shrug. “It’s not like you even have the crown or ring.”
“No, Pariah still has the ring and last I saw the crown Vlad had it.”
“Good old Vladdie,” Dad boomed eagerly, “holding onto a powerful artifact like that to keep it safe!”
“So shouldn’t Vlad be the new Ghost King?” Danny asked with a shudder.
“Well the summoning circle thinks you earned the title somehow, so I guess it’s you now.” Johnny snickered as he got on his bike, Kitty quickly hopping on behind him. “Anyway, see ya ‘round, your majesty.” Johnny sneered the last part, then the pair both laughed like Johnny had just told the best joke ever as he zoomed off.
“Well I’m proud of you!” Dad slapped Danny’s back so hard he face planted. “Fighting that nasty Ghost King was really brave of you, and look at you now! Our boy, the Ghost King!” Dad wiped away a tear of deep paternal pride.
Danny had already floated himself up off the ground and dusted himself off, completely unharmed. “Thanks Dad, that means a lot.” And it really did! He was used to his parents being proud of him, not for his grades obviously, but just… in general. Or something. To have his dad say he’s proud of things Danny did as Phantom just… hit different.
“Is there anyone we can ask about this? The council that ruffian mentioned?” Mom looked thoughtful.
“Ugh no, the council hates my guts for some reason.”
“Well… if they’ve been in charge since Pariah was put in the sarcophagus and you’re the king now, maybe they feel threatened?” Dad asked, rubbing his chin.
“That’s probably it, sweetiepie. They’re just threatened by you.” Mom gently pat his arm.
“That’s so weird! I don’t even want to be king, I’d probably be a terrible one anyway.”
Dad gasped, “Danno! That’s just not true! Sure, you’re a bit young to be king now, but in a few years I bet you’d be a great king!”
“Pass.” Danny did not want to add a crown to his disaster of a life. Especially if it meant he’d have to be a bully to make others listen to him anyway, it’s not like anyone listened to Pariah.
“So honey, anyone else we can ask about the Ghost King? Or summoning circles? I’m really worried about you randomly getting summoned by creepy cults.” And boy, did Mom have a point about that! Yikes!
“Uh… maybe Frostbite?” The yeti did keep calling him “Great One” and that had to mean something, right? And if not he could hopefully point them in the right direction.
“Wonderful!” Mom chirped as she started herding Danny back into the Speeder. “And along the way you can answer a few small questions about your fight with Pariah.”
“I’m sorry about taking the Ecto-skeleton without asking,” Danny blurted out, face turning green as it grew colder.
“It’s alright, baby boy,” Mom pinched his cheek, “we understand why you did it and why you felt you had to at the time. But never do it again, okay?”
“Yeah,” Danny said miserably as they got back into the speeder. Once Danny had pointed them in the direction of the Far Frozen, he sat criss cross applesauce in the air. “So uh… questions?”
“Oh yeah! What questions did you have, fudgecakes?”
“Well…” Mom started but hesitated before continuing slowly. “This sounds like it might be a right of conquest situation.”
Danny had no idea what that meant. Well he knew what the words individually meant, and he had a pretty good idea what the phrase meant generally, but he had no idea what the rules or details were.
“Was this an official challenge?” Mom asked when Danny only stared blankly at her.
“Uh… maybe?” Danny tried thinking back to the fight, “What would make it an official challenge?”
“Did the Ghost King say he accepted your challenge? Or challenge you?”
“He uh…” Danny tried to remember the times he’d bantered with Pariah. “He said he accepted my terms,” Danny said with a squeak near the end.
Mom just nodded, “Right, so it sounds like a challenge. And did you take his crown at any point in the fight?”
Danny tried to remember the end of the fight, and well… “Yeah, I knocked it off him right before shoving him back into the sarcophagus. But Vlad had the key that actually locked it, and then he had the crown the last time I saw it.”
“Danny, sweetie, Vlad didn’t challenge the Ghost King to single combat, and he didn’t take the crown as part of that challenge.”
“Oh,” was all Danny could say as the realization of what he’d unwittingly done sank in. “Well… shit.”
#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc comics#justice league#fanfic#nenna writes#sleepy king#he's not sleepy right now LOL#insert the rant from princess diaries here#just in case i wasn't enough of a freak let's add a crown!
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Hi how are you, please can you do something with Pau Cubarsi and just something super sweet and fluffy x
Blush and Bliss~Pau Cubarsi
*Pictures are from Pinterest*
i enjoyed writing this so much. enjoy <3
request from here
master list -> part 2
players/drivers I write for
It’s a Friday night, and y/n finally convinced Pau to do a self-care evening with her. He was hesitant at first, but with after a little pleading and a playful pout, he caved, laughing as he said, “Alright, princesa, whatever you want.”
She set up everything in the bathroom, laying out face masks, lip masks, and even some under-eye patches. Pau looks at it all with wide eyes, a bit overwhelmed. “Are we really putting all of this on my face?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes, and you’ll love it!” she insisted holding up a fluffy headband. “Now sit down, handsome. This is going to be so relaxing.”
He chuckles, sitting on the edge of the tub. “If you say so. But only because my princesa wants to pamper me.” He lets her put the headband on, holding back a laugh as she adjust it to keep his hair out of his face.
"you look so cute" she pinched his cheeks, making him roll his eyes playfully, opposite to the blush that found its way on his cheeks
She started by applying a hydrating face mask to his skin, and Pau sits still for about ten seconds before leaning in, trying to steal a kiss. “Ah-ah,” she denys, pushing him back gently. “We can’t mess up the mask, Pau! Give it a few minutes.”
He pouts, feigning offense. “You’re so cruel,” he teases. “How am I supposed to sit here with you looking so cute and not kiss you?”
y/n laughs slightly, rolling her eyes. “You’ll survive. Let me just finish applying the mask.” Once it’s on, she grabs two pink lip masks, handing one to him. “Okay, now this one goes on your lips.”
Pau examines the lip mask with curiosity. “It’s… pink,” he says, chuckling. “Are you sure this is going to make me look good?”
“Of course!” she grins, peeling the backing off and helping him place it on his lips. “You’re going to be the most radiant man in Barcelona.”
He tries to speak but remembers the mask and just gives her an exaggerated thumbs-up, making her giggle. Then she puts on her own lip mask, sitting down beside him.
y/n sits there, scrolling through her phone, showing him funny memes and videos, and he’s trying to laugh without moving the mask. But after a few minutes, he scoots closer, eyes twinkling with mischief. She narrows her eyes at him. “Pau… don’t even think about it.” she mumbled under the mask
He feigns innocence, his eyes wide. “Think about what, cariño?” he said, his mask slipping a bit.
She gives him a playful glare. “You know what. No sneaking kisses. We need these to stay put.”
He pouts again, mumbling through the mask, “You’re so mean.” Then he adds in a dramatic tone, “I’m suffering, and you don’t even care. I just want one little kiss.”
“Patience,” she giggles. “Good things come to those who wait.” She pats his cheek, and he sighs, pretending to be heartbroken.
Eventually, the time is up, and y/n gently peels off the lip and face masks. Pau watches her carefully, his green eyes watching intensely every detail of her face as she gently helped him remove the masks.
He eagerly waited for her to finish so he can finally close the distance between them. y/n leaned in to inspect his face, admiring how soft his skin looks.
“There,” she say with a satisfied smile, running a finger along his jaw. “You look radiant, Pau. How do you feel?”
He grins, reaching up to touch his cheeks. “Like I’m glowing. Guess my princesa knows what she’s doing.”
She's about to respond when he suddenly grabs the back of her neck and pulls her close pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. y/n laughs against him, feeling the warmth of his hands and the giddy happiness bubbling up in her chest. He pulls back with a mischievous grin. “Finally!” he says. “You have no idea how hard that was.”
She giggles, resting her forehead against his. “You survived. And now you’re all soft and pampered.”
He raises an eyebrow, clearly impressed with the results. “I hate to admit it, but you might be onto something with this self-care thing.”
“See?” she said in a teasing tone. “Next time, you won’t even need convincing.”
“Next time?” he laughs, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his lap. “Only if it means I get more time like this with you.” He brushes his nose against hers, his voice dropping to a soft whisper. “And maybe a few more of those kisses.”
She smiles, brushing a thumb over his bottom lip. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Pau. Otherwise, I’d make you wait even longer.”
“Oh, so I’m cute now?” he teases, his eyes gleaming with mischief, although his cheeks had turned into the darkest shade of red. “You didn’t seem to think I was cute when you were pushing me away earlier.”
y/n laughs at his words playfully rolling her eyes. “Yes, yes, you’re adorable. But let’s go finish our self-care night with some popcorn and a movie. I promise no more masks, just you, me, and maybe a blanket fort.”
He lights up at the idea, taking her hand and tugging you toward the living room. “That,” he says, squeezing her hand, “sounds perfect. As long as I get to hold my princesa the whole time.”
The two of them end the night snuggled up in a cozy blanket fort, laughing, sharing popcorn, and stealing plenty of kisses—face masks no longer in the way.
#football#football x reader#football blurb#football imagine#football one shot#footballer imagine#barcelona#fc barça#fc barcelona#fc barca#pau caubarsi imagine#pau cubarsi blurb#pau cubarsi one shot#pau cubarsi x reader#pau cubarsi x y/n#pau cubarsi imagine#pau cubarsi x you#pau cubarsi fic#pau cubarsi fanfic#pau cubarsi fluff#pau cubarsi oneshot#pau cubarsi
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Midnight pumpkins and mirrors
Intro: A countdown to midnight, when the dark mirror can finally send you back to your own home. Tick tock, Cinderella!
Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, angst-ish, reader is yuu, open ending, gory descriptions just a bit
A/N: This one's a little longer than the others, but hey, a finale's gotta be grand, right? Happy birthday to my baby darling sweetheart babygirl love of my life Jade!!! and floyd too ig idk. The extras will all be posted at 6, I just have to link them up so if you want a working navigation system, maybe wait til 6:15 or something. Taglist will start after this event.
Masterlist
Jade's Birthday Countdown
Extras: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
[2:00 pm. 10 hours to 12.]
“Y/N! There you are, I’ve been looking for you.”
Now that’s a voice you don’t hear everyday. You take a deep breath in preparation for his bullshit and swivel on your heels. Crowley seems happy as he waves his cane and the thick tome in his other hand, decorated with jewels and black velvet. “I have excellent news!” he exclaims, and you ready yourself for yet another task to fulfill in his name, “I’ve found a way to send you home!”
…That was not what you expected him to say.
There’s happiness, of course. You miss your parents, your family. You almost miss normalcy. There’s a little bit of relief, as if your soul itself is sighing that finally, you could go home. But more evident than all of those feelings is your heart falling to your stomach—so heavily weighing you down with such little words. Because as much as you miss your family, you have family here too, right? You belong here as much as you belonged in your old world.
But it’s not like you can choose to stay.
This isn’t the place you’re supposed to be, even if it feels right.
You’re weak, and you’re magicless, and you stir up so much trouble and danger on a daily basis unlike you’ve ever known. But earth is all you’ve ever known. Crowley waves the book again, right in front of your face, as if to pull you back down to reality. “I’ll set the coordinates in the Dark Mirror. At exactly 12 am tonight, the portal will open, but until then,” his smile widens, “my benevolent and kind self will allow you to say goodbye to your friends. Just remember to be there at 12, okay? It’s very difficult—almost impossible—to open a second portal, so don’t miss this chance.”
Right. Don’t miss it.
You’ll say goodbye. And maybe, leave your boyfriend and Grim for last.
[2:30 pm. 9 hours 30 minutes to 12]
Heartslabyul always smells like roses and baked goods. You hate to interrupt the gathering, but you wave to your friends with a small smile on your face. Even if you’re devastated, you need to seem happy. Because it’s right to smile. Because it’s right to be excited to go home.
“I’m leaving.”
Ace and Deuce seem confused, questioning you about it, Cater’s eyes are wide with surprise as he drops his fork back onto his plate with a loud clatter. Trey is quiet. But Riddle looks like he immediately understood what you meant, an expression of hurt on his face.
“Where are you going?” Deuce asks.
“Home.”
The silence is deafeningly loud.
“I came to say goodbye. Thank you for taking care of me.”
You can’t even find it in yourself to look at them as you walk away. Riddle, Cater, and Trey were like your older siblings, while Ace and Deuce were the first people to befriend you in this strange place. At this point, they’re already a part of you.
It feels like your flesh has been ripped out, your organs trailing behind you as you walk out of Heartslabyul.
[3:00 pm. 9 hours to 12]
The sun is beating down on your back at Savanaclaw, and you push through despite the tears running down your cheeks and the sweat dripping down your back. In any case, you’re soaked. Ruggie sees you first, and he drags you over worriedly to Leona.
“Oy, herbivore, who did this to you?” Leona sounds so harsh even when he’s gently wiping your tears away with a handkerchief.
Ruggie is folding laundry, watching you, and Jack is patting your back as you sob.
“No one,” you hiccup.
“Then why’re you crying so much?”
“I’m sad,” you mumble, and Leona rolls his eyes. Still, the lion beastman takes you into his arms and hugs you tight.
“That’s a stupid reason to be crying.”
“Leona,” it hurts, but it has to be done, “I’m leaving. Forever.”
Your trek to Scarabia is accompanied by an echo of growls and the vivid illusions of animal ears pressed flat in an instinctive sadness.
[3:30 pm. 8 hours 30 minutes to 12]
There’s a distinct lack of music and confetti and frills when you step foot into the decorated dorm lounge of the Sorcerer of the Sands. It seems like the whole place and all its occupants are entranced in gorgeous dreams, with a lot of students napping on the carpets like cats. Jamil and Kalim are sitting at the corner of the room with a small tray of snacks, the former stitching a piece of cloth and the latter staring hard at a textbook. The sunny red-eyed housewarden positively beams when he notices your presence, and Jamil has to tug on his arm to remind him not to wake up the sleeping Scarabia students.
“Y/N! Want a cracker?”
You deny Kalim’s enthusiastic offer and sit down.
The happiness seems to drain right out of him when he notices your eyes swollen with tears. “Kalim, Jamil,” you take a deep breath. The day’s already tired you out enough, but it hasn’t numbed you to the point that you could so easily do the thing you set out to do. “I’m here to say goodbye.”
There’s a look of quiet shock and disappointment, but Kalim’s sadness is loud.
You can still hear it as you leave the desert.
[4:00 pm. 8 hours to 12]
Rook already knows. Of course he does. You can tell.
He’s looking at you with a scarily blank expression, as if he’s trying his best not to let his emotions leak out of him from the very moment you stepped into the grandeur of Pomefiore. Epel is standing beside Vil who was sitting elegantly atop his throne. The atmosphere is one of an execution.
But it’s unknown who holds the ax.
“Rook said you had something to tell me?”
“Something to say to all three of you,” you correct him, “I’m here to say goodbye. Crowley found a way for me to go home.”
As expected, like most of your other friends, Vil and Epel stay silent at your declaration.
“Wait,” the beautiful housewarden signals, “let me pack you a few things to go.”
Epel chimes in with teary eyes that he forces back, “I’ll grab you some apple juice that you can take home with you.”
[5:00 pm. 7 hours to 12]
You walk into Ignihyde with your arms stuffed full of self care products and apple snacks and juice. The halls are empty as usual, so you make your way to Idia’s room and kick at it gently to make noise, sniffling. It’s opened by Ortho.
“Y/N L/N! What a nice surprise,” Ortho pulls you in, and you see Idia passed out on his bed, almost suffocating underneath a pile of blankets, “I can wake him up for you if it’s urgent.”
“Um, I can wake him up myself.”
You sit down on the mattress.
“Idia,” you poke at his face, “wake up. I’m here to say goodbye.”
“Mmh…where are you…going…?”
“Home. Forever.”
His golden yellow eyes flutter open, expression blank as he looks at you sleepily. “Forever?”
“Forever.”
[6:00 pm. 6 hours to 12]
By the time you get to the castle of Diasomnia, you’re already lugging a high-tech suitcase around. In it are the things that Vil and Epel forced on you, while Idia passed his favorite anime figure into your hands and told you to take care of it well. Ortho gave you the suitcase so you didn’t have to walk around with an armful of stuff.
To be honest, you dreaded this goodbye almost as much as you hated it when you had to give your farewell to Heartslabyul. If only because Malleus had also become one of the most important friends you’ve had in this place. And he has no other friends besides you. It’s less that you’re fearful of his reaction and more worried about this strange fae companion of yours. With you leaving, who would come on long walks with him through abandoned ruins in search of gargoyles? Who would patiently attempt to teach him the ways of modern technology?
It can no longer be you.
In any case, only Lilia takes it well.
You feel like shit when Malleus is looking at you with teary eyes, like a puppy abandoned by its owner. Sebek doesn’t make it any better when he’s yelling at you for making his liege upset. Silver is looking at the floor, but you can see the tension on his shoulders and the harsh grip he’s keeping on his mug. Lilia smiles at you so joyfully and it’s the only one you’d seen all day.
“We all say goodbye someday,” he takes you in an embrace, “yours is just a bit earlier, hm? Go home. Your parents must miss you a lot.”
You nod.
Green lightning crackles in the distance as you walk back to the mirror.
[6:30 pm. 5 hours 30 minutes to 12]
Ramshackle is quiet. Even the ghosts seem to have realized the severity of your situation—shying away from you and the tears that haven't stopped falling since several hours ago. You leave the suitcase at the door and head towards your room.
Grim’s taking a nap.
“Grim,” you whisper as you wake him up, cradling him in your arms, “I have something to tell you.”
“Hench human?”
“I’m leaving.”
You leave for the last dorm with your suitcase and scratches littering your arms, your shoulder soaked with the direbeast’s tears.
He promised to meet you again in the Hall of Mirrors before 12.
[7:00 pm. 5 hours to 12]
Saying goodbye to Floyd and Azul was okay. It wasn’t any harder than saying goodbye to any of your other friends. Still, they share a look with each other that you take as a warning to yourself.
You sit down at one of the tables.
Floyd promises to drag Jade over.
Azul picks up an apron and a notepad to help run orders.
“I was given a sudden break,” your boyfriend sits beside you with a grin after a few minutes, “and I was wondering what you told Azul that made him so willing to cover for me.”
You take his hand.
And take a breath.
And still, you don’t have enough courage. Not yet. You give him a smile past tears that blurred your vision, and he worriedly wipes them away. “What’s wrong?” he asks softly.
“I’ll tell you,” you press a kiss to the back of his hand, “but will you spend a few hours with me? Let’s just…cuddle, maybe.”
Jade agrees and pulls you to his room.
[8:00 pm. 4 hours to 12]
It feels so warm within his embrace. Draped in his blankets, wrapped in his arms—it feels right.
[9:00 pm. 3 hours to 12]
“And there’s a special flower that’ll bloom on that day. Will you come with me to see it?”
“...Maybe not.”
“Then I will take many pictures for you. And perhaps bring one back as a specimen.”
[10:00 pm. 2 hours to 12]
“My parents have mentioned wanting to meet you. Could you spare me some time for the next holiday?”
“They want to meet me?”
“They do.”
“What did you tell them about me?”
[11:00 pm. 1 hour to 12]
“I have to go.”
The smile fades from Jade’s expression. He holds on tight to your wrist, speaking lightly, “Where are you going? How long will you be gone?”
He’s so unreasonably perceptive.
“Why are you unable to make plans with me? Do you wish to end our relationship?”
You don’t want to.
“Y/N. What are you hiding from me?”
But you must.
“Jade,” you break out into sobs, “I’m going home. I’m never coming back. I’m so sorry, I just, I wanted to spend more time with you. Just a little more time.”
There’s anger in his eyes, disappointment and shock and irritation. He’s so scarily still. Until he lets your wrist go and turns away. “Then leave,” he says quietly, “I bid you farewell.”
[11:10]
The lounge is already closed.
[11:20]
The roads are deserted.
[11:30]
The Hall of Mirrors, however, is crowded. You see all of your friends waiting for you, some smiling, some sobbing.
[11:40]
You hug Grim to your chest. You can’t cry anymore. All your tears are dried up.
[11:50]
“Not even a second thought? I tell you to leave and you do?”
You freeze when Jade enters the hall. He’s still in his dorm uniform, unchanged from when you’d whisked him away from work hours ago. You can say that he’s mad, but more than that, he looks so hurt. Not a single person says anything as he walks towards you.
[10 seconds]
“Were you lying when you said you loved me?”
“No, Jade, I love you—”
“Just not enough to stay?”
[9]
“I have family waiting for me. My parents are waiting for me!”
“And so you betray my trust. You leave me behind.”
[8]
“I can’t stay.”
[7]
“Or you don’t want to.”
[6]
“Jade, I don’t want to leave you.”
[5]
For the first time since the day you met him, Jade Leech seems to be crying. He doesn’t acknowledge the tears as they fall.
“Then don’t leave.”
[4]
“Please…just stay…”
[3]
“I’ll give you everything.”
[2]
“Stay with me. With us. I beg you.”
[1]
Hey. Check out the sequel. K bye.
#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#gender neutral reader#twst x reader#x reader#jade leech x reader#jade leech#jade x reader
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Femjay you say 👀 how about the classic "you're alive?!" confrontation with a sprinkle of pining
sprinkle of pining you say-oh dear! i've dumped the whole bag in! along with a jar of erotic violence! whoopsies...
female!jason todd x afab!reader. violence, angy jay, reader being held down, crying, reunion. remember that girl best friend you had highkey lesbian tension with? yeah.
****
It's her eyes you recognize first, oddly enough, through her cracked helmet. You shouldn't recognize her at all, with how everything about her has changed. Even the way she looks at you is different. You've never seen Jay Todd so ferocious.
"You weren't supposed to be here!" she screams.
It's true, you weren't. You stumbled across your dead best friend by accident, found her hissing and vicious with a shattered helmet and a smoking gun. Four dead men surround her.
"Get out."
All you can do is stare. She's alive. She's back. She's yours.
"Jay..."
Okay, you lied. This wasn't an accident. This was fate that you played a hand in. This was what was bound to happen after Jay got too close, let herself get seen. You've had an itch for months, eyes on your back. You're a civilian now, sure, but you loved a bat once.
She pries off her helmet and your breath hitches. God, she's beautiful.
"What is wrong with you? You could've fuckin' gotten shot."
Your legs start moving. Your arms part. You expect the feel of a soft cape between your fingers, black curls to tickle your chin due to a height difference you never let her forget.
Jay drops her gun, grabs your wrists, and knocks the wind out of you in a graceful takedown. You can't even be mad.
"You're alive," you choke out.
When she was Robin, you had a slim chance of physically overtaking her. Now, double in size and muscle, Jay keeps you pushed to the ground with no chance of getting free. Her hands hold you by your wrists, body hovering close so you can't move much.
Her eyes are wild. A mix of blue and green. More green than you remember. Her irises have swallowed her pupils and her curls are knotted and frizzy. You feel inexplicably hunted.
"How dare you?" she spits. "How fuckin' dare you come here?"
"Jay," you say softly, unable to keep your eyes fixed on one part of her. You're afraid to blink and make her disappear.
"I could've shot you," she says. "You could be dead right now."
"You're a good shot."
You mean it as a compliment. Jay only seems to get angrier.
"I have to be. I'm the only one keeping myself alive," she says. You make a weak noise in your throat.
"I should've looked for you," you say.
She scoffs. "Don't say stupid shit. You're smarter than that."
"I should've," you insist. "I should've found you. I felt you."
"Yeah? Feel how I could tear you apart? It comes so easy now, you have no idea. 'M fuckin' soaked with blood."
You stay silent. Jay's eyes flash. She leans in, breath hot on your ear.
"Are you scared?" she asks like she knows the answer.
But she doesn't.
Your legs part further so she can kneel comfortably. You shake your head.
Jay snarls. "You should be. I've killed people. I'll keep killing."
"It's okay," you say. "You're angry. It's okay to be angry. I don't blame you. No one does."
"Stop talking like that!" she yells, tears in her eyes. "Stop talking like we're friends. We aren't friends. You don't know me!"
"But I do," you say, limp beneath her, like a lamb caught in a wolf's bite. "Jay, I do."
"No, you don't," she snaps. Her voice is mocking, brittle. "You know your fancy publishing job in a big shiny office, away from this shithole, and-and fuckin' Paul from Marketing who brings you banana pancakes from the diner."
Your breath comes out in a careful exhale. "You've been keeping tabs on me. How long have you been back?"
Jay's mouth quivers as she bares her teeth. "I took you to that diner. It was mine first."
"It never stopped being yours," you say quietly.
"You—" Jay growls in frustration. Her hands squeeze your wrists. "This isn't how it's s'posed to go. Hate me, hate me. I'm a monster."
"You're not."
"You're fuckin' deluded," she says, eyes glassy with tears. "Fuckin'—sleep so heavy, like I can't slip in and smother you. No one would know. Make tea in your-your robe, don't even pull the curtains shut. I can see you. Anyone can."
"I missed you, Jay," you say, a heart-shaped lump in your throat.
"And so what?" she asks, tears falling down her cheeks. "So fuckin' what if you missed me? You kept living."
You try to pull your hand free, and to your surprise, you do. Jay lets you slip out of her grip. You use your free hand to hold her scarred cheek, wipe her tears with your thumb.
Jay is perfectly still for several moments. Then she wraps two big hands around your ribs, pulls your shoulders forward like nothing, and rests her cheek on your chest. She shakes into your skin, kneeling between your legs.
You hug her head, smell her new-old smell, and let her curls tickle your chin once again.
#Jason Todd x reader#female Jason Todd x reader#red Hood x reader#female red Hood x reader#rule 63#batman fanfiction#dc fanfiction#blurb#inbox
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A quick breakdown on how Blitz has made IMP's + Stolas' lives better.
Millie:
To start, Blitz shatters the stereotypes and such Millie grew up surrounded by and believing, more specifically, the stereotypes of that Wrathians are only good for muscle and that all she could be is a simple farm girl or an underpaid goon. Blitz shatters these by quickly calling out those stereotypes as 'bullshit', and proceeds to list off Millie's good qualities, which are much more then just muscle. And well, we definitely see the qualities Blitz said Millie had in her all the time. "You're tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I've ever met in any ring."
Plus, the line where Millie said that Blitz made her feel like she could be anything as well, because she believed that Blitz could be anything. Blitz made Millie believe that she could be more than a simple farm girl, more than an underpaid goon.
"He gave me so much…A career, a husband, a future. And now…He's my best friend."
Moxxie:
The classic scene where Blitz just talks a mile a minute, never gets old. But seriously, the first thing of note is just how Blitz is instantly able to point out a good quality in Moxxie, that being, the fact that Moxxie is really good with guns. Just look at Moxxie while Blitz is talking about things like his daughter and his plan on how to get out of the prison. Blitz is able to very quickly uplift Moxxie by just being his mile a minute self, and that is a quality I love in Blitz.
Plus, alongside breaking Moxxie out of prison, he also got him a life away from Crimson, his abusive father. Away from the mob life he was forced into, even as a young child.
Plus, I feel like we can also apply Millie's line of "He gave me so much…A career, a husband, a future. And now…He's my best friend." to Moxxie. A career, a wife, a future outside of Crimson and the mob family. I imagine the best friend part holds true as well.
Loona:
You all remember why Blitz adopted Loona, right? It's because Blitz saw so much of himself in Loona. Blitz felt the need to prevent Loona from going through similar things that he did, to break the cycle of abuse, to give Loona a caring and loving father that Blitz never had. All of this being a month before she grew out of the adoption system.
And Blitz's love and care for Loona is quite obvious, which Loona herself admits to in s2 e2.
"That doesn't mean they don't care." and "He may not always get it right, but he's trying."
This is the most obvious example of Blitz loving and caring for Loona, that Loona recognizes that Blitz loves and cares for her greatly, despite Blitz being flawed and imperfect (cause let's be real, no one is perfect or not flawed at all).
Stolas:
As well as giving Stolas some of the best days he's ever had in his life, Blitz also gave Stolas the ability to stand up to Stella, the person who abused Stolas for all of those years. To allow Stolas to have his own autonomy, to be his own person, instead of feeling like he has to follow along with whatever Stella and/or the Goetia family wants him to do. He also gave Stolas the courage to get the divorce, which in turn, massively helps to take away the power Stella had over Stolas for all of those years.
#helluva boss#blitzø#blitzo#stolas#stolitz#helluva boss stolas#moxxie helluva boss#helluva boss millie#loona helluva boss
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Mythal, Solas, and Lavellan
So there’s lots of discussion about Mythal and Solas, and we need to talk about it.
I too, at first, was mad that Lavellan wasn’t enough for Solas.
And then I started thinking about it.
Not only was Mythal his mother, his creator, she coaxed him into being. Into changing his spirit and his purpose.
Regret Number 1.
He let her use his knowledge and wisdom to do a terrible thing, to kill (tranquil) the titans, changing a whole race of people at a molecular magical level.
Regret Number 2.
When that choice created the worst power known to Thedas (the blight) he was responsible again. And Mythal asked him to step up and fight against it, and he did. And a lot of people died.
Regret 3.
Mythal DIED. (IMO The gods blighted her because she stood against them for wanting to use the blight but that’s not important here). And Solas blames himself.
From Solas’ perspective, he is her puppy. Her Emerald Knight. Her General. Her Protector. Her Wisdom. Her servant, her SLAVE. He is BOUND TO HER. And he caused her downfall.
And you’re all like, GEAS! GEAS!
But wait.
From HIS perspective.
Rook says something somewhere along the lines of like, by abstainsing from being the good guy (oh wait maybe it was Varric in the fade…)
By choosing to be the villain instead of the hero is he absolving himself of the guilt (regret) that comes from having to have made those choices.
From Solas’ perspective, he is her slave.
LOOK AT HIS BODY LANGUAGE.
He is a worm in the dirt in front of her. He is a scolded child, a puppy with his tail between his legs.
But in the eyes of Mythal, he was always her friend. The one person who had always stood by her. She did not literally entrap him, or bind him. It was all in Solas’ own head.
He refused to take accountability for his actions, only able to survive through the crushing weight of his own guilt by blaming it on servitude to Mythal.
That’s why Rook escaped the prison. Because she faced her own choices, choices with terrible consequences, and accepted them. Took responsibility for them, and promised to do better.
Remember, after the Temple of Mythal…
Solas…
You gave yourself into the service of an ancient elvhen god!
What does that mean exactly?
You are Mythal’s creature now, everything you do whether you know it or not will be for her. *** You have given up a part of yourself.
***THIS WAS NEVER TRUE. IT WAS NOT TRUE FOR FLEMYTHAL & MORRIGAN, NOR WAS IT TRUE FOR ABELAS, NOR WAS IT TRUE FOR SOLAS. HE JUST WANTED TO BELIVE THAT IT WAS.
…I suppose it is better you have the power than Corypheus. Which leads to the next logical question… What will you do with the power of the Well once Corypheus is dead?
The war proved that we can’t go back to the way things were. I’ll try to help this world move forward. **Lavellan is talking about the mage/templar conflict, but Solas is putting her in his own shoes. Solas reached for power he could not control and fucked the whole world up.
You would risk everything you have with the hope that the future is better? What if it isn’t? What if you wake up to find that the future you shaped is worse than what was? **
**This is literally him asking her what she would do in his shoes. He woke up and the world was in chaos OF HIS MAKING. To prevent an evil HE CAUSED from spreading, he orchestrated the downfall of the people he loved and swore to protect.
I’ll take a breath, see where things went wrong, and then try again.
Just like that?
*He is in shock that she can be so cavalier about the guilt that has rocked him for (4?) millennia.
If we don’t keep trying, we’ll never get it right.
*And this is the only thing that calms him down.
You’re right. Thank You.
For what?
You have not been what I expected, Inquisitor, you have… impressed me.
You have offered hope that is one keeps trying, even if the consequences are grave… that someday, things will be better.
Then, of course, he takes this to mean that he needs to try to put The Evanuris in a different prison and take down the veil which isn’t at all what we meant sweetie but that’s okay get up and try again.
This is a classic case of a person in power not understanding the terrible, horrible consequences of unfettered power imbalances. Because Solas was always Friend to Mythal (Im not going into Freudian sex shit with you weirdos right now).
Solas was Mythals FRIEND.
Mythal was Solas’ EVERYTHING.
co·de·pend·en·cy
/ˌkōdəˈpend(ə)nsē/
noun
excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner,
His Mother, General, Creator, Protector, Queen, Goddess.
And he loved her so fiercely with every fiber of his new, physical being.
And he hated it.
And when Lavellan fell for him, and he for her, he was afraid.
Because he would never force a spirit against her purpose, and in his eyes the only way to love is the sick and twisted way he loved Mythal.
But again, from Mythal’s perspective, it wasn’t twisted. Solas was just Solas. And once again the powerful care not for the thoughts and opinions of those beneath them.
And that sin is on Mythal.
And that’s why she comes out and talks to Solas. Both aspects of her. To release him from the bonds that never existed. Be free, friend. You always were, but if you need me to say it I will because I love you.
“I pulled you from the fade and sent you into war. I used your wisdom as a weapon… and it broke you.”
Cole: Is there a way to save more spirits, Solas?
Solas: Not until the Veil is healed. The rifts draw spirits through, and the shock makes demons of them.
Cole: Pushing through makes you be yourself. You can hold onto the you. Being pulled through means you don't have enough you. You become what batters you, bruises your being.
Be free.
“The things that I have done…”
“Are not for you to bear alone, my friend. The many wrongs we did, we did together.”
And he COWERS before her. Shaking and shuddering. FNALLY being absolved of the guilt he’s carried since his inception.
“I release you from my service.”
And he SOBBS. At the RELIEF.
And Lavellan kneels before him (wrong, IMO because they should be equals but its fine)
And he can go back to his original purpose.
Not Pride.
Not Knowledge.
Not even Wisdom.
But Protection.
“My life force now sustains the veil. With every breath I take, I will protect the innocent from my past failures.”
The Shepherds Wolf. Protecting his flock from those who would do them harm.
And Lavellan promises it won’t be terrible, as long as they’re together.
And maybe Solas can try this different kind of love. A love built on respect, and trust, instead of fear, and obedience.
And he can be his purpose, Protection, and also be a man. And love his vhenan.
Because he is free.
#Fuck my life its 3am im going to bed#Veilguard Spoilers#Dragon Age#Solas#Lavellan#Mythal#Solavellan#Guilt#Regret#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#da4#datv#datv spoilers#Solavellan Hell is Over#The Dread Wolf#Fen'Harel
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Now what?
Whenever I see Trump my brain thinks of my mom and I feel angry about how she died. I have PTSD and I'm actually in the process of seeking out a therapist to address it.
And until I can get some help, I guess I'm just going to feel that anger for a while. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to see or think of him again.
This is pretty bad. And it is really scary. And I hate that one man is capable of causing so much fear and anxiety among the people I care about.
I guess there is one thought I am trying to hold onto.
I recently talked about chronic illness and the "new normal." As illness progresses you sometimes have to accept a new normal and learn to adjust and adapt to it. And every time I was faced with a new normal I was convinced I could not adjust or adapt. But every time I figured it out and found a way to keep going.
I think we will adapt because we have to. We will fight because we have to. But we will need each other to get through this.
Look to your allies. Your friends and your trusted family. Keep those relationships healthy. Do the work to maintain them. Prioritize building and sustaining a personal support system over everything else. Do your part when they need help. Keep in regular contact. Keep the emotional labor as reciprocal and balanced as possible. And don't be afraid to tell them when you feel overburdened. Keep communication healthy so you both feel comfortable expressing hard truths. Open up to them so they feel trusted and make sure they feel comfortable doing the same with you. Try not to lean on one single person too much as they might get overwhelmed.
But also remember to enjoy your friendships. They are not there just to be your therapist. (An *actual* therapist is a good idea if it is feasible.) It's important to laugh and waste time together. Shoot the shit and bond over mutual interests. Or introduce them to your interests and teach them why you love what you love. Ask them about their interests and even if you don't completely get it, be happy that something makes your friend happy.
If you feel like you don't have a support system or it is severely diminished like mine, you'll have to do the work to seek out new people. I'm in that process now after losing my parents. And trust me, I know it isn't easy. I am really struggling to connect to new people. It takes a lot of energy and I haven't had a lot of energy to spare. But I know it is what I will need to help me adapt to the new normal. So I'm going to put in the effort and figure it out. I encourage you to do the same.
You will not connect with every new person. That's okay. Remember this is a process and it takes time. And don't beat yourself up if building your support system is slow going. If nothing else, you are learning and growing and developing tools to help you on this journey.
This community has been so kind to me. You all are a part of my support system. And I feel very lucky to have you in my corner. I love you and I care for you. I'm going to try my best to advocate for what you need. Helping others is another way to keep moving forward. A righteous sense of purpose is a powerful tool in the face of a new normal.
Please take care of yourselves as best you can.
Find your people if you haven't already.
Or find *more* people if you don't have enough.
You are in my thoughts.
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Jump Then Fall CS55 Part 2
Pairings: Carlos Sainz x childhoodbff!reader
Summary: In which he realized that it has always been you.
Warnings: none, pure fluff
Part 1 Part 3
Carlos Sainz was just 7 when he met you for the first time, his new next-door neighbor. He remembered the way you’d stood there, small and uncertain, a hand clutching the hem of your dress as your parents introduced you. He’d given you a big, toothy grin, thinking you looked a little lost. From that day on, the two of you were inseparable, spending every moment you could together. Whether it was riding bikes, playing soccer in the park, or inventing silly games only the two of you understood, Carlos knew you’d always be by his side.
One golden afternoon, the two of you were at the playground, taking turns pushing each other on the swings. Carlos could see the joy on your face as you laughed, your head tilted back, eyes shining in the sunlight. Something about that moment made him pause, a weird, fluttery feeling stirring in his chest. He didn’t understand it, but he liked it.
“Bet I can swing higher than you!” he shouted, hopping onto the swing next to yours.
You laughed, challenging him back. “No way, Carlos! I’m going to win!”
The two of you raced to see who could go higher, each laughing louder and louder as you tried to outdo each other. Carlos didn’t care if he won or lost; he was just happy to see you smile like that.
But then, in the midst of all the fun, he noticed you staring at him with this faraway look. He waved a hand in front of your face, grinning. “Hey, are you even listening to me?”
Your cheeks turned pink as you stammered something, and he couldn’t help but laugh, wondering why you seemed so flustered. You weren’t usually like this; you were usually the one to tease him! But he liked this side of you, too, even if he didn’t understand why it made him feel… strange.
“Come on,” he said, reaching out his hand, “Let’s go get ice cream. Loser has to buy!” He grinned, watching you roll your eyes and accept his challenge. As you both ran off to the ice cream shop, Carlos felt that same warm feeling again, lingering, making him realize how much he loved moments like this. He didn’t know it yet, but these simple memories would be some of his most cherished, ones he’d look back on years from now, as the start of something he couldn’t quite name.
By the time high school rolled around, Carlos had grown accustomed to that fluttery feeling in his chest whenever he was around you. He told himself it was just because you were his best friend; after all, you’d been there with him through everything—good and bad. But there was something else, a longing he didn’t fully understand, a wish he kept tucked away in the back of his mind. He was afraid that if he acknowledged it, it would change everything between you.
He didn’t want to lose you. So he stayed quiet, kept his feelings hidden, and tried to be content with just being your friend. It wasn’t always easy, especially when he caught himself watching you from across the classroom or noticing the way you laughed at his jokes. Sometimes, he wondered if you might feel the same, but he was too scared to ask.
One afternoon, the two of you were walking home from school together, chatting about nothing in particular. Carlos noticed the way you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and his heart did that strange flutter again.
“Do you ever think about the future?” he asked suddenly, not even sure why he was asking.
You looked at him, surprised. “Sometimes. Why?”
Carlos shrugged, kicking a pebble on the sidewalk. “I don’t know… I guess I wonder if things will change. Like, if we’ll still be friends.”
“Of course we will!” you said, sounding so sure it made his heart ache. “We’ve been friends forever, right?”
He forced a smile, trying to shake off the feelings bubbling up inside him. “Yeah, you’re right. We’re like… inseparable.”
For the rest of the walk, he stayed quiet, lost in his thoughts. He knew he wanted to be more than just friends, but he couldn’t risk losing you. So he buried his feelings, hoping that somehow, being close to you would be enough.
Carlos didn’t think it would hurt this much, but the day he introduced his girlfriend to you, he felt an odd pang in his chest. He’d met Isabela a few months ago, and she was everything he thought he wanted—confident, funny, beautiful. But the moment he saw the look on your face as he introduced her, something inside him twisted painfully.
“This is Isabella,” he said, trying to ignore the way his voice sounded too bright, too forced. “She’s… well, she’s amazing, isn’t she?”
You smiled, but he could see it didn’t reach your eyes. “Yeah, she seems great,” you replied, but something about your tone didn’t match the words. For a split second, he wondered if you felt the same way he did. But he brushed the thought away; it was probably just wishful thinking.
The weeks that followed were strange. He saw less of you, but every time he was with Isabella, he found himself thinking about you—wondering what you were doing, if you missed him, or if you even cared that things felt different. There were nights he stayed up, wondering if he’d made a mistake, if he was hurting you. But he was too scared to ask.
One day, as the two of you were walking home from school, Carlos finally worked up the courage to say something.
“Hey… are you okay?” he asked, keeping his tone casual.
You smiled, but there was a sadness in your eyes he couldn’t ignore. “Of course, I’m just tired.”
He didn’t believe you, but he didn’t push. Maybe it was better this way, he told himself. Maybe it was better if he never knew how you really felt.
The breakup with Isabela hit him harder than he’d expected. One evening, he showed up at your door, feeling lost and alone. He didn’t even need to explain; the moment you saw his face, you pulled him into a hug, holding him tight.
“It’s okay,” you whispered, your voice gentle and soothing. “I’m here for you, Carlos. I’ll always be here.”
Carlos clung to you, feeling a mix of relief and regret. He’d been so focused on someone who didn’t truly understand him, while the one person who knew him better than anyone else had been right in front of him all along.
As you comforted him, he felt something shift between you. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew he was grateful for it. In that moment, he realized how lucky he was to have you by his side, even if he wasn’t ready to admit the feelings bubbling up in his heart.
After the breakup, Carlos found himself looking at you differently. He started noticing the way you laughed at his jokes, the way you knew exactly how to cheer him up, and the way you always seemed to understand him in a way no one else could. A thought began to creep into his mind, one he couldn’t shake—maybe, all this time, you’d been the one he was looking for.
But he was still afraid. Afraid of ruining what the two of you had, afraid of losing the friendship that meant everything to him. So he decided to keep his feelings hidden, admiring you from afar and hoping that one day, he’d have the courage to tell you.
Because deep down, he knew that love, the kind he felt for you, was worth waiting for.
#carlos sainz#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x you
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America, what have you done!
I am tonight sitting here (Australia) speechless from what has transpired these last 12 hours or so, what the hell happened?
Why on earth did he get voted back in?
What in the world went wrong?
8 years ago he was elected whether you choose to believe it or not, through nefarious means (Russia influence) at the time people fell for his charisma & charm, but soon realised just like women realise when they fall for the charm and the boyish behaviour, there’s a darker side they don’t reveal until it’s too late. Congratulations America, he revealed it pretty early on once he got his claws into the Resolution Table in the Oval Office.
We (the world) watched in horror as he separated families and deported illegals. He overspent on his billionaire friends and made middle and working class suffer. Had no health care plan, no infrastructure or employment plan. No commerce or education - nothing, zilch. He employed sycophants who bowed and grovelled to do his biding (half of them his own family - nepotism much?) he ran America like one of his bankrupt businesses and almost brought America to the ground. He was responsible for not taking responsibility when a pandemic hit the world and over 1 million died under his watch.
America impeached him twice, investigated him multiple times. Decided then they’d had enough and voted him out. You had four years of peace, of prosperity, of employment health care, higher wages and lowering costs. Your country opened up again and healthcare was restored, you started bouncing back, you’re coming has never been better. Meanwhile he ranted and raged the election was stolen, even though every court hearing and document was thrown out. America had turned a page in history for four years.
What the hell happened?
Joe Biden stood for another term but that wasn’t good enough, the America media had an axe to grind and so did it seemed those who were influential in the media circus and he stood aside for a women he picked as his vice. A woman with an incredible record in prosecution and protection of law. A woman who had fought against cartels and won. A woman of scruples and integrity. Who was willing to stand up to him and hold him accountable. A man who has current,y 34 felony convictions including falsifying business records and inflating assets to hide tax fraud. A man with 6 bankruptcies and multiple accusations of predator and rapist behaviour AND YOU HAVE VOTED HIM BACK IN?
Why?
Was it because you like someone with a need for vengeance? Someone who had made it very clear he intends to run America like Russia? A man who stole your nations top secrets and in some cases sold them off? A man for whatever bizzare reason is allowed to do whatever the hell he likes with no repercussions, because he’s Donald Trump?
This is not the America I remember as a child. This is not the president I saw growing up, who took care of his people, who cared for his country, supported their military and stood up to foreign enemies.
I sit here tonight devastated for all the brave and wonderful women and men, who voted to protect theirs and their daughters basic human, reproductive and civil rights. To the persons of all colours and religions, to the victims of domestic and sexual violence. To the wonderful trans community, to the gay marriages built on love. To all those who have fought both home and abroad in service. To the dreamers who see America as a shiny beacon of light & hope. To those who have crossed many roads in search of protection, in a country who had always welcomed you. I feel all of your sadness and anger at what has transpired.
None of this makes sense, none of this adds up.
Kamala Harris was a future light of hope and peace, of working with both sides for democracy to move America forward - now it seems she will be pulled back into the darkest part of her history. Back to when women had no right to vote, no opinion that was listened to, no voice protecting her own body.
She will be silenced once again.
Immigrants will no longer be welcome.
The church will control what happens in marriages and government decisions.
You will no longer be accepted as a trans or LGBTQ+
If you suffer a medical emergency during pregnancy, you will be forced to endure the consequences of either the child dying inside you, or be forced to give birth at “God’s will” Rape is just a word - a pregnancy from it will be unfortunate but a necessary as your right to choose will not matter anymore.
None of this adds up.
I will not accept that a man who got almost the exact same amount of votes as he did in 2020 can be declared the winner and Kamala only got 60 million, where did the other 20 million go? The votes came in too quickly the declaration called too soon. I’m by no means a conspiracy theorist but the math doesn’t add up?
Bomb threats - is America the Middle East? Interference through social media via Elon Musk and China. Giving away money to people who would vote for Trump. It stinks like rotten fish on a warm summers day here in Oz.
My final take.
If I devoted my entire like in government, in prosecution, in upholding the constitution - I would have questions, I would want answers as to how this happened with no increase in Trumps collective votes from 2020, he didn’t increase, he stayed the same.
President Joe Biden in his last few months of power, should launch an investigation because it’s not a case of well America decided to perform a lobotomy on itself and completely wiped the years between 2016-2020 from her memory and only remember the last 102 days, or something or someone played a hand in some very nefarious and illegal vote tampering.
Madam Vice President - do not concede.
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Out of Our Minds (Part Three)
Ledger! Joker x Harley Quinn-esque f!reader (18+)
CW: swearing, mentions of violence
Words: 4.1k
Chapter Summary: The third session with the Joker, and as you try and delve into the man he is, you can't help the connection you feel. Seems he might feel it too...
part 2
Notes: Hello everyone! Apologies for the wait, took a bit longer because of Halloween, was having too much fun to write. But here we are! This series is def picking up the pace now and soon we will dive into some real chaos lol. Please enjoy :) (I love inputting bits of Arkham dialogue in these because i can >:) )
_____________________________________________
On your way to work, it seems Gotham is in shambles.
There seems to be some type of announcement going on, by someone from the GPD. You could care less, honestly, especially since you need to get to work before you’re late, but what piques your interest is the crowds of people. There is an obvious rift amongst them. Some of them hold signs displaying the infamous bat symbol, crying out in favor for Batman, it seems, some holding children at their hip who cry for the man they’ve lost. The other half push back against the pro-Batman crowd, yelling things like ‘murderer’ and ‘fraud’. The tension is so thick you can taste it. These people might tear each other apart.
Oh, if only Joker were here to see this. He’d never shut up.
A woman bumps into you, clutching a sign with that bat symbol painted on it, with words beneath it reading ‘come back’. You sneer, and she retreats back to her other Batman groupies. How could anyone get so worked up over a man in a mask? Take the mask off and we’re all messed up inside. Batman had worn the mask of a hero, parading around as Gotham’s salvation, and yet he killed people just like his enemies had. Like Joker had. Except Joker didn’t pretend to be someone he wasn’t.
Mr. Dale may be right about keeping all this from Joker, but you can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt. He’s going to get out eventually and see all this mess. They can’t hide it from him forever. Even if he’s on house arrest for the rest of his damn life, he’s the Joker, and they won’t be able to stop him. They’re just scared. Scared that the Joker may have won.
You walk through the city, broken into chaos, all the way to Arkham.
———————————————
This time when you enter Joker’s little conference room, he lacks his usual straitjacket, and you’re both surprised and relieved that your bosses actually listened to you. His asylum garb has been replaced with the usual Arkham patient outfit, an orange baggy shirt with matching orange pants. Immediately, as ashamed as you are, your eyes go to his arms, which are surprisingly lean and toned, probably from numerous fights. You trace his arms down to his hands, each of which have a separate handcuff linked to a man made circle jutting from the table. You look at every crinkle, every callus, every line. Human hands. Dangerous hands.
“Uh, doll, my eyes are up here, ya know.”
Shit. You look up into his eyes as you take your seat, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m… sorry, I was just-“ You try to search for an excuse, but it’s clear from the teasing look Joker gives you that he’s not looking for one. You flush. “I’m surprised they let you out of the jacket.” I’m surprised your hands are so normal.
“Well, it certainly wasn’t from my good behavior,” he clucks, his tongue hitting the top of his mouth. “Did you ask them to get rid of it?”
You can’t tell if he’s angry or not. “I did.”
He breaks into his signature, manic grin. Not angry. Good. “I knew I liked you, doll.”
Joker doesn’t say ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate it’ but somehow, this is better. It’s probably as close as you’ll get to hearing those words from him and it ignites something in you. You feel proud of yourself. Proud that he’s proud of you. Before you can return his smile, you remember ‘hey, wait a fucking second, this is my patient The Joker we’re talking about here’. You settle for a small smile. Be professional. “Mr. J, I wanna start this session off by just saying I think we’re making some good progress-“
“Doctor y/n, you seem to have quite the fascination with my hands,” Joker interrupts, a giggle rising in his throat.
Dammit. Were you looking at his hands again? You didn’t even fucking notice. You’re not trying to. You’re probably just a little shocked. Again, it’s like pulling back the curtain, getting a glimpse at the man behind the act. And there he sits, with such human looking hands. “Excuse me, I’m just…” You search for the words. “I’m not used to seeing you without being all wrapped in a jacket.”
“Well, ah, they’re just hands. Did ya think I’d have talons?”
“Maybe. Or maybe, like, robotic hands. Rocket launchers for hands. Something cooler.” Are you teasing him? Your patient? You might be teasing him, just a little.
At your teasing, his smile shifts sideways into a smirk, eyes thinning. “Cooler? What’s cool is, ah, what these hands have done. They’ve been the cause of the end of so many lives.” He tries to lace his hands together, but the handcuffs keep his arms too far apart, so his fingers touch only slightly. “Now, ah, where were we?”
You stumble to find the words. So much for professionalism. “R-right, sorry. I think we’re making real progress here. Yesterday was a good session, and I’m hoping today will follow suit.” You bring out your clipboard. Click your pen open. “Now, why don’t we pick up where we left off? We were analyzing your crimes-“
“Spectacles.”
“Whatever you wanna call em’. Now those are only one part of the man you call the Joker-“
“That is, ah, my name, doll face.”
You hold your hand up. “Let me finish. We haven’t talked about you. About this person you present as the Joker. And yes,” you say roughly, before he can cut you off again, “I know you say that you and this character you present are one in the same, but nobody is exactly the person they put out. I mean, you did say we all hide behind a facade. So, let’s talk about Joker, the one we see on TV getting the best of Batman.” You scribble a little picture of him, smiling wide and in his signature purple suit. Jutting your chin, you gestured for him to look at it. “This will be the outside Joker…” You do another little doodle, one of Joker without his makeup and in the Arkham garb. “And this will be the you in here.”
The Joker looks down at your drawings and bites the inside of his cheek. “Not much of a difference, doll face, except that I look even crappier in here.”
You roll your eyes. “Are you proud of the person that Gotham has come to know?”
“Define proud.”
“Do you feel a sense of satisfaction over the person you allow Gotham to see? This crazy clown figure?”
Joker tilts his head back, thinking, and you can’t help but stare intensely at his neck, tracing down his throat to his Adam’s apple, which moves as he swallows. Geez, what is up with you and the staring today? Luckily, he doesn’t think for long, tilting his head back down to look at you. “I’m just fine with whatever I showed to Gotham. And I don’t regret-tah one bit of it.” Looking all smug, he smirks. “I’m not proud of who I am, I relish it. Bask in it. The Clown Prince of Crime, they call me! Nothin’ better than that, doll. Means I’ve made a difference.”
“You’ve certainly made an impact, Mr. J. For better or for worse.”
“And whaddya get out of all that, doll? That I’m some kind of egotistical maniac?”
“Let me do the analyzing, please, Mr. J.”
He grunts. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, and you can’t help but smile. “You say you’re proud, but clearly it’s not enough,” you tell him, scribbling notes underneath the doodle of him. “When you get out of here, you’d like to go back to all that, wouldn’t you? Go back to testing the B-Man?”
“Batsy and I just fit so well together, dolly. We’re meant to chase one another to the end of our days!”
If you can find him. “All the stuff you pulled then, did it really amount to anything if you want more?”
“Oh, doll, it’s not that I want more. I’m not just some kinda freak gettin’ a good fix when I cause havoc. My point just keeps needing to be made!” He winks at you. “Course, I know that if I get out of here I’ll have to behave.”
You seriously doubt Joker even knows the concept of behaving. “B-Man would just get you again, would he not?”
Joker cackles. He laughs at everything but you’re always confused when he laughs at something you don’t find remotely humorous. “That’s the fun part! He and I, we’re like a cat and mouse, like in those old cartoons. We’re just chasing each other in damn circles and, ah, the fun doesn’t-tah stop until one of us falls.” With a cruel smile, he flicks his fingers, as if toppling something over. “And I don’t intend to be the first to fall.”
“And after B-Man falls?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see, I suppose. Doesn’t sound very fun. Why, you got a soft spot for the Bat?”
“For Batsy?” Technically, you’re not supposed to be very vocal in your own opinions, especially when they do nothing to help, but wouldn’t it be good for Joker to know you’re with him on some things? Not that Joker has too much disdain in Batman, he clearly loves to mess with him, but obviously the two are on very different sides. You want to show Joker you stand with him. “Absolutely not. The Bat hasn’t done anything to benefit me. If anything I feel more… useless. This man in a mask gets to go around fighting criminals and gets praised and here I am busting my butt everyday and what do I get? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” You clap a hand over your mouth. Way to go overboard. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling.”
The Joker, of course, doesn’t care that you rambled on. He looks amused. No, not just amused, he looks pleased. His whole face contorts into an evil grin. “Well well well, doll face, nowwww we’re talking. Why didn’t you tell me you loathed the Batman so much?”
“Didn’t think it important.”
“Well, ah, I find it important. Looks like we wanna both go after the Batman, don’t we?”
“Go after him?” Now it’s your turn to laugh. “Obviously I’m not going to do that.”
He scooches forward. “But you’d like to. Come on, doll, given the chance, wouldn’t you wanna, ah, take the Bat down?”
For some reason, you actually think about it. If you really did have the chance, would you want to bring down the Bat? He was already down now, obviously, but if you had had the chance before then, would you have taken B-Man down? Before you can even dive into it, you snap yourself out of it. Why would you even care to do all that in the first place? Imagine you, beating up Batman? You’re not crazy. “I’m not so sure about that.”
Joker shrugs. “That isn’t a no.”
Things are going far from where you need them to be. “Let’s take this conversation back to you, Mr. J. How about we talk about the Joker in here? Nothing left for you to do except sit and think. You’re not out causing havoc, you’ve been stripped of your weapons and your makeup, what do you feel about yourself now?”
Already, you can tell the Joker isn’t too fond of the question. He squirms uncomfortably in his chair, muttering things under his breath that all sound nonsensical to you. For some reason, you kinda like it. It’s about time you get under his skin too. “I feel like I wanna hurt someone,” he answers, clenching his fists. “I just wanna get out there and get back to everything.”
“Okay… see, you’re angry at being in here, and you don’t know how to handle your emotions so you’re resorting to violence.” As much as that’s probably true, you’re almost sure that if you were stuck in Arkham, you’d wanna hurt a few people too but that won’t help.
“Violence solves a lot more problems than ya think.”
“Not mental ones. I think I’m seeing what’s going on here, Mr. J.”
Joker taps on the table, a random pattern of noise. “And that is?”
You point with your pen between the two Joker sketches. “Both these people have unresolved problems, problems coped with by violence. Plenty of people do this, but they don’t go around trying to make their points to the whole damn city. These huge acts of violence are outcries and you don’t even realize it. You have no one to turn to to sort your feelings out with and this is what the outcome is.” You look back up at him, and it’s clear he’s confused. “I told you at our last session, you need company. Someone you can relate to, empathize with, talk through these feelings with.”
He frowns. “And what about you, huh? You’re, ah, just as alone as me, not a soul to talk to, and yet you’re not blowing up hospitals.”
Will he ever quit trying to analyze you? “I have other means of coping, Mr. J. Whatever happened to you… it made you hurt. And this hurt, it turned you away from people, even though we need companionship. We seek attention and validation and yet I fear you’re seeking it in all the wrong ways.”
“Who says we need companionship?”
“Human nature. Our hearts. Your mental state,” you say harshly.
His tongue pushes out his scar as he licks the inside of his cheek. “Feistyyy. I like it when you’re all, ah, riled up.”
Joker was really pushing your buttons now, and it was worse that no matter how upset you got at him, he’d find some kind of enjoyment in it. You really couldn’t win some of the battles he put you up against. Yet, the purr in his voice made your cheeks heat. You could never tell when to be angered or enamored. “I really do think that whatever happened in your childhood resulted in your detachment from emotion, and a distrust in people, and this mix of the two… well, it hasn’t been the best for you.”
“So, whaddya suggest? I go mingle with some of the other Arkham patients? Spend some quality time together finger painting and singing Christmas carols?” His laugh comes out as a sharp exhale. “I don’t think friendship is gonna fix me, doll.”
“I wasn’t going to suggest any of that,” you assert. “I just think that isolating ourselves from not just people but also feelings, now that doesn’t get us anywhere good.”
“Clearly,” he giggles, lifting up his cuffed wrists. “But I’ve been doing just fine, doll, aside from this little incident of being locked up in here.”
It was like the Joker just considered Arkham some bump in the road before he could continue his anarchy. That wasn’t good. He couldn’t have his heart set on going back to taking down Batman, no matter how good his reason. Especially considering, well, Batman was nowhere to be seen. Gosh, you wish you could just tell him. Maybe he wouldn’t see it as motivation, maybe it would shut down all his ideas. There was just far too much risk with everything. Say something, say nothing. The Joker was a lot of uncertainties. “But you shouldn’t have to be locked up in here. You don’t have to be if you just try and listen to me. I really want you to get better.”
“I don’t need to get better,” he growls. “The way other people feel, it’s just a soft spot for others to exploit. I’m already winning because nobody has anything on me. Chaos stirs something inside me, isn’t that enough?”
“No, Mr. J, you need more than that,” you plead. Why is he so stubborn? “Just a little company can do wonders. Just some faith in someone.”
“So they can do what? Push me down on my knees like some kind of sinner, making me beg for forgiveness? Making me change my ways? You really are crazy if you believe that.”
Joker is impossible, really. You don’t know how else to get your message across, how to make him listen. So instead, you think back on your deal, take a deep breath, and give him a story.
“When I was ten years old, the kids at school all decided they hated me so much that they all pretended I didn’t exist. I’d try and approach people and… and they never even acknowledged me. It followed me all throughout the rest of my school years.” You mess with your coat, fidgeting with the buttons, not quite able to meet Joker’s gaze. “I know how it feels when people hurt you.”
You wait, wondering if the Joker will give you a story back. You’re surprised when he opens his mouth to speak. “Once, ah, when I was just starting out, one of the criminals I hired managed to sneak up on me, knocked me to the floor real good. Kept babblin’ on about how I was a freak, how I’d never amount to anything, the heel of his boot digging into my back.” He stops, taking a deep breath, and you wonder for a moment if he’s going to stop all together but he continues. “Course, with all his ramblin’, he failed to notice me grabbing a blade. I stabbed him right in the foot, and oh boy, did he scream. I gave him the nastiest beating of his life, I’m sure. Blood all over the floor. And right before I was done, I made sure to give him and I matching smiles. Die with a smile, no?” Joker holds his chin up. “I don’t need people. People don’t care.”
It’s only a single story yet you realize the Joker has so much behind him. So many incidents that seemed to have fueled the thunderous rage beneath his skin. This man, finding humor in the wickedness of the world, wanting to show that everyone is essentially just as rotten as he, has been torn apart over and over again. Society had crushed the both of you yet here you sat, a doctor, and there he sat before you, a madman. In your anger towards the world, you had sought to try and help it, and in his anger, he wanted to burn it all down. You still had hope left in people, he had let that all die away.
He said people didn’t care, but you cared. This was more than just a way towards a paycheck, you really did want to help him. That’s what you’d always wanted for every Arkham patient. Yet the others did not quite distrust people as much as Joker did. Joker didn’t have anyone for him. How was it that Batman, a murderer playing superhero, still had half the city on his side and yet everyone just wanted Joker to rot away in here? You think about yourself, and how much better you would feel if you did have someone, if you had been given love and support along your miserable journey. If you could give Joker the support you’d always wanted, well, maybe that would change something in him.
“We’re both pretty messed up, huh?” you finally say, deciding not to comment on anything specifically about Joker’s anecdote. No need to keep talking about something so horrific. Joker didn’t need that. He needed comfort.
Joker blows air from his nose, smiling softly. “We are, aren’t we? Just a buncha freaks.”
“Freaks still need to stick with other freaks.”
“And who have you got exactly, Miss l/n?”
You freeze. Nobody. Absolutely nobody. He knows it. Yet for a moment you feel… well, embarrassed. Your hand creeps to your warming face, your eyes feel suddenly watery. You don’t have your parents anymore. No old friends from school or college, not that there were many to begin with. No coworker friends, shitty bosses. All you have is yourself and you hate it.
Joker seems to notice that his comment didn’t go down well, and he holds up his hands like he’s gesturing for you to stop, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “Uh, doll, I didn’t mean to pry…”
“No, no, it’s fine…” You quickly wipe at your eyes with the back of your hand. “Just wasn’t expecting the question, I guess.”
“Right,” he mumbles. “It wasn’t, uh, meant to be an insult.”
You let your eyes flutter close for a second and take a nice, long breath in. When your eyes open again, you straighten yourself out, contemplating your next words. “I know how it feels to be alone, Mr. J. More than anything.” Your voice comes out as a whisper, your fingers drifting towards his own, which are splayed out on the table. He sits up very still, unmoving save for a twitch in his jaw, as he watches you place your hand on top of his. You’re not sure what you’re doing, but you need your point made. “I… I know how much you think you don’t need people, but people offer support and guidance, and if I could have some of that right now, for fucks sake, I would.” You sigh. “I don’t have a lot of friends.”
Joker’s tongue slowly traces along his chapped lips. You wish you knew what he was thinking. You hated how well he read you and you could hardly get anything on him. Finally, he speaks. “Well, you got one now.”
The Joker, a friend. It sounds like the stupidest thing in the entire world. This was someone who had hurt and killed and destroyed. Someone who was close to no one, the people around him with one purpose: to serve him. He had said how loyalty didn’t come for free, that it needed to be bought. If something so simple as loyalty was seen as a transaction to him, did he even comprehend the concept of companionship? He must have, at some point, whoever the man before the Joker was. But the person you were dealing with was not that man, you were dealing with Joker. Joker did not seem a man who connected with anyone yet he tells you how alike the two of you are, and you can’t help but believe it. Alone in the world, the two of you. Maybe he can’t yet bring himself to make a real connection with anyone but, goddammit, you wanted him to try.
Why not be alone together?
It would all be in hopes of helping him, you told yourself. Whatever relationship the two of you were forming. If he could have someone to talk to, not just in a professional sense, but someone who would really be there for him, you think that would help a lot.
That’s all this is. This is to help him.
You squeeze his hand. “I like the sound of that, Mr. J.”
—————
It started off as a joke, really.
Joker didn’t want to be analyzed. The first night he had been brought into Arkham, he had been poked and prodded, as doctors tried to decipher what kinda pills to stuff him full of. Joker had tried to fight them off, but they had injected him with something that made him sluggish. Just a few hours later was when they had sent in all the psychiatrists to try and fix him. Joker didn’t need to be fixed. He was an agent of chaos, a force to be reckoned with, something they just couldn’t comprehend. Then you’d come along, and you were so lonely, and Joker liked toying with things that were easy to break. Except you’re nothing like the others. There’s something about you, this way that you interact with him, the way you don’t see him as some freak. When you stare at him, you don’t look at him like he’s a monster. It’s strange.
Joker doesn’t do friends. The term itself means nothing to him. It’s a meaningless word. Most words are meaningless to him, empty sayings. Yet when you look at him with those eyes, like he’s your equal rather than beneath you, Joker does feel something. Some kind of connection. He’s never thought about killing you, which says something. It’s the only way he can describe this feeling towards you, something other than the pure disdain he usually feels towards others. There is something… warm about you. Joker didn’t like it. Yet he let it happen anyways.
Long after you’re gone, when he’s strapped onto the metal slab the Arkham guards call a bed, he thinks on some of your words. You thought a companion would help him. Someone he could rely on. Someone who would truly be loyal.
He smiles wickedly to himself. You might just be right.
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