#i could have walked to san antonio and got them by now

[youcanthandelthetruth]

Baby shoes, never worn

(I bought them for my kid and USPS has been busily shipping them back and forth across the whole of Texas for two weeks)

[patito-oward]

Always Been You

masterlist

Prompt: And the other is about how Pato falls in love with the reader, just how he says "oh yeah she's THE ONE"

since this prompt was pretty vague I took a lot of liberties with it, but I still hope you like it :)

Summary: After being dumped by his long term girlfriend, Pato realizes everything he’s ever wanted in a relationship has been right in front of him

WC: 4.1k

It happened very suddenly. Here’s the thing, Pato didn’t mean for it to happen at all. On the list of things he had planned for the year, this was definitely not on it. A 500 win? Definitely. A championship? Yep. Extending his contract with Mclaren? Right again. But starting the off season by being dumped by his long term girlfriend and realizing he’s in love with his best friend was not anywhere in his mind.

It all started at the last race of the season, Pato was leading the championship, and granted he got a podium on this race he would finally have his championship victory. To celebrate and support, almost everyone he knew came to Nashville. Pato rented out a block of rooms at a hotel, and one of the many people who showed up for him was his childhood best friend, YN.

So maybe it all started in 2008, when YN and Pato were in second grade and met on the playground at recess. YN was sitting on the swings reading a book when Pato approached her, he was new to San Antonio and didn’t have any friends, and wanted to know if they could be friends. From then on the two were inseparable. Pato was a daredevil at heart, and would often hurt himself, and YN would take the delicate time of walking him to the school nurse and kissing his injuries better. Pato always made YN laugh, and made sure she was never sad, no matter what happened in YN’s life, Pato was there everyday to make her smile.

As they got older their relationship changed, it lost a little bit of their childish innocence, but they grew so much closer. YN was at Pato’s first win in karting, and she was more excited than he was. When YN’s childhood dog died, Pato was at her house at 6:00 AM and spent the whole day with her, trying to cheer her up. They’d even started their own holiday traditions, every year on Christmas Eve, the two of them spent the day making cookies together and exchanged presents. YN had practically become family, she didn’t have the best home life, and the entire O’Ward family was so loving that she ended up spending more time with them than her actual family.

The two dated for a few months in eighth grade, and were each other’s first kiss, but when Pato began racing for F4 and was in France every weekend the two agreed it was best they just stayed friends. Since then that is all they had been, things in YN’s home got significantly worse as they went through high school and despite whatever Pato may have felt, he knew she needed his friendship and wasn’t willing to risk their relationship.

With Pato coming up through Indycar and YN being a full time student and having a job, it was easy to assume the two would drift after high school, that was never the case. They still saw each other everytime Pato was in Texas and Pato made sure YN made a couple of races every year. She remained his biggest supporter as he went from her hometown best friend to the most popular driver in Indycar.

Fast forward to now, things were going pretty perfect for Pato. He finally won the 500, he’s about to win the championship, and he’s got a great girlfriend, Maria. He figures he’ll marry her, he does love her, she’s supportive and nice and insanely hot. They’ve been dating for over a year and things have been going really well. The only time they’ve ever really fought is over YN, when she found out there was a “history” between them, and in hindsight Pato realizes maybe he should’ve told her sooner, but he never really thought about it. Yeah they’d dated for a few months a lifetime ago, but she’s always just been his YN, he doesn’t even think of her like that anymore. YN was one of the most sure things in his life, and sure for awhile he always thought what if?, but that was in the past.

All that being said, he didn’t think twice about inviting her to Nashville to watch him possibly win the championship. YN wasn’t able to make it to the 500, or any other race this year, and he wished she was there. She knew more than anyone how much this had meant to him, coming up after losses she was always the person he went to, and he wanted her to see him now that it had all been worth it. YN was reluctant to come, but after a lot of begging from Pato she agreed.

Thursday night he made sure everyone he invited out came to dinner with him at a steakhouse. There were 20 people at the restaurant, but Pato ended up with Maria sitting next to him and YN sitting across next to Elba. Maybe Pato should’ve realized it, the tension in her shoulders and how Maria’s smile tightened as he laughed at YN’s jokes, but he didn’t. So Maria sat there all night, and she really tried to be understanding, but she felt as if she was third-wheeling her own relationship. She had to listen to a million inside jokes she didn’t understand, and watch as his family fawned over YN.

It was at that dinner she realized that she’d spent a year dating a taken man. Pato was too good of a man, she knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, but it became undeniable. As she watched him, she realized everything she felt for him, he felt for the woman across the table. At first she felt possessive, the need to prove that he was her partner, and that no matter what he’d chosen her over YN, but as time passed she felt less possessive and realized that there was no way to continue the relationship. It wasn’t fair to her, she deserved a man who loved her and only her, and Pato deserved to be with the person he loves.

After the dinner, they headed back to the hotel where Pato, who was utterly clueless of her realization, continued to be the perfect man, only making it so much harder for Maria to leave. She didn’t know how long she should let it go on for, if she broke things off now would she be getting in his head and ruining the weekend for him? Would continuing a relationship she’s already checking out of be just as cruel? Could she stand the rest of the weekend watching her boyfriend making heart eyes at another woman?

After sleeping on it, or rather not sleeping very much at all, she’d come to the conclusion that a clean break was best for everyone. They ordered breakfast to the room and as they sat at the small dinette she knew she had to bring it up.

Pato was halfway done with his breakfast, but she hadn’t eaten much at all, mostly just pushing her food around with her fork. “Pato, I think we need to talk.”

It’s rare that she’s this serious, and Pato knows that can’t be good, his silverware clatters as he sets it down and looks up at her. “Uh oh, what’s wrong?”

She hesitates for a moment, not knowing the best way to start the conversation. “It’s YN.”

Pato’s shocked, he doesn’t know what he expected but it wasn’t that, “What about YN?”

She figures there’s no reason to beat around the bush, “You’re in love with her.”

Pato’s a lot of things, surprised for sure, but also shockingly defensive and angry. “What? Babe, that’s ridiculous. I know you were upset about us in middle school, but I swear there’s nothing going on! I would never even think about cheating on you!”

She rested her hand on top of his, “I know you would never cheat on me, and I know you said there’s nothing and I believe you, but I saw the way you looked at her, and how she fit into your life, and it makes so much sense because you love her.”

Pato doesn’t really know what to say to that, “I love you.”

“But you are in love with her. Listen I love you, Pato, and you’re such a good man, but it’s not fair to either of us to continue this relationship. Not when your heart clearly isn’t in it.” Maria struggles over her words, voice cracking and eyes watering, but a soft smile is on her face as she says them.

“Are you saying what I think you are? You’re just giving up?”

“Pato, I’m letting you free, tell her how you feel, you deserve that kind of love.”

And maybe what she’s saying finally resonates with him because the best thing he says is, “I never meant to hurt you.”

She lets out a broken laugh at that, a single tear rolling down her face, “Oh, Pato, you never could, we aren’t meant for each other, but we still had a lot of fun, right?” He nods at her.

After that she’s on a plane and back to her home before he knows it. Pato’s sad, he feels a little empty, someone who had been such a big part in his life just walked out leaving the biggest mess in her wake. He thought about her words, but shook them off. He loved YN, of course he did, but it wasn’t like that, she was like a sister to him.

Although it’s not his sister he messages asking if she wants to come over. YN is at his hotel room within a minute of him sending the “you busy?” text. YN asks where Maria is, but all he has to say is “gone.” and YN knows to drop it.

YN knows him better than anyone, knows that he has an irrational fear of being destined to fail at every relationship. She knows he has never actually broken up with a girl, only ever been broken up with, and she knows he spent over two years single because he was afraid of being hurt. But she also knows that there’s no way anyone could spend more than an hour with him and not be in love with him, God knows she is.

It’s the way he knows her, inside and out, but it’s also the way he makes everyone around him laugh, and spends hours interacting with his fans to make them all happy, and how caring he is with animals and babies. YN is only human, how is she supposed to feel when her insanely attractive best friend is doting over her niece?

YN puts it all aside because she’s his best friend first, she’d made that promise to herself a long time ago and she’s always kept it. She sits with him and watches Friends reruns with him, he’ll talk when he wants to, but until then she’ll be by his side.

They don’t end up talking, the one good channel the hotel room has switches from Friends to Modern Family, and then Pato has to go practice. A quick google search helps her find the best tacos in Nashville, so while he’s gone she runs out to get them dinner. They had dinner plans with his parents and Elba, but YN texted Elba long ago to let her know that plans were changing. He’s a superstar, so of course he doesn’t let his life affect him and it still the fastest person in the first practice, YN thinks that’s a good sign.

When he returns he seems to be a little better, talking to YN about track conditions over their dinner. YN has had enough of waiting for Pato to bring it up, and she can tell he’s feeling better, so she has to work up the courage to ask him what happened.

“Are you going to tell me what happened with Maria or am I supposed to guess?”

His smile drops, turning into one that’s much smaller and forced. “She just left.”

“No explanation? She just woke up and was gone?”

“Oh, she had an explanation but it was bullshit. She probably just got tired of me, it's no big deal.”

YN furrows her brows at that. “Pato stop it, you’re so great anyone would be so lucky to be with you. Maybe there was some merit behind what she said.”

“Well she said I was in love with you, but I told her so many times we’re just friends and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

YN’s stomach sinks at that, it’s not like she expected him to confess his love, but he didn’t need to friendzone her that hard. “Oh.” Is all she can think to say.

“I mean you’re great, but you’re like a sister to me!”

YN forces out a laugh, “Right.” She also can’t help but feel like maybe it’s her fault this all happened, was her pining really that obvious? “Well then, she’s stupid for leaving because she’s not going to find anyone better.”

Pato’s smile is genuine for the first time since the conversation started, “Thank you, you’re the best friend I could’ve asked for.”

“Right, and don’t forget that when you’re trying to figure out what to do with all your championship earnings.”

He lets out a real laugh at that, a stark contrast to how mopey he’d been the rest of the day. “One, greedy, and two, I’m not buying you anything else. I'm tired of you getting mad when I spend money on you.”

“Pato, a graduation gift is fifty bucks, not a two thousand dollar tennis bracelet.”

He leans back in his seat and shrugs, smirking as he says, “Yet I’ve never seen you not wearing the bracelet.”

YN’s eyes go to her wrist where, sure enough, the bracelet was, just like everyday for the past three years. When Pato gave her the bracelet she refused to take it, saying it was too much and he needed to return it. After arguing for ten minutes she thought he’d finally agreed to take the bracelet back, but found it later sitting on her dresser. “What can I say? You have good taste.”

The rest of the night mirrored the morning, but had a much different tone, the two of them sat sprawled out on the couch quoting the episodes of Friends that were on, having seen them so many times they were known by heart.

When YN went to her own hotel room Pato realized how empty the place felt again, something he hadn’t noticed all day. He chose not to think too hard about how effortlessly YN took up space in his life.

The next morning, Pato had already scheduled to have everyone meet in the lobby so he could take them to the track for the day. YN had clearly told everyone about Maria because despite some odd looks no one asked about her and he was grateful for that. He didn’t think twice when everyone began to split into different cars and he pulled YN along with him, or when they arrived at the track and Pato sent most people up into a suite, but brought YN and his immediate family to the pits. Maybe that’s how it’s always been, and how it’s supposed to be.

Pato gets swept up in work for the rest of the day and YN gets to spend some real time with her second family. As soon as they’re alone, Elba doesn’t hesitate to start interrogating her.

“What happened with Maria?”

“Apparently she told Pato he’s in love with me and just left.” YN shrugs as she says it, still a little puzzled by the whole thing.

“Huh.”

“What? No ‘huh’ I know what that means just tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I just thought Maria knew by now and didn’t care, maybe she’s not as smart as I gave her credit for.”

“What do you mean? Knew what?”

“Come on, YN, Pato’s been in love with you since you were nine, I wouldn’t want to be dating him.”

YN is struggling to process what she’s hearing, and automatically turns to deflection. “He is not.”

“Oh my god.” Elba starts giggling maniacally.

YN has no clue what could be funny, “What!?”

“You’re in love with him too!”

“I am not!” Despite her refusal, YN can feel and Elba can see the heat rising up her neck.

“You totally are! All this time I thought you had to know it’s so obvious, I mean, he follows you around like a puppy, but you had no idea!”

“Ok, keep your voice down.” YN puts her hand over Elba’s mouth really not wanting anyone else to hear their conversation. “Even if I did like him, and I’m not saying I do, he does not feel the same. I mean you should’ve heard how hard he friendzoned me yesterday.”

Elba looks sympathetic then, “Babe, I think my brother has spent so long denying himself what he wants he doesn’t even know what that is anymore. I love him dearly, but relationships are not his strong suit.”

“Then I guess we’re at a stalemate because I am certainly not going to be the one to ruin our friendship.”

Elba’s exasperated, “Oh my god, you two are exhausting!”

By the time Elba finished her intervention, qualifying finished resulting in Pato getting the pole. Mclaren has been dominant the last few weekends, and this weekend is no different with all three cars in the fast six. Pato is in the driver’s lot, getting ready to head back to the hotel, everyone else had dispersed from the track, and Felix has tracked down Pato and is calling after him.

“Hey, Felix! What’s up?”

“Bro, you’re about to win this fucking thing.” There’s nothing but excitement from Felix for his best friend.

“I know, I just hope tomorrow is a clean race and we can bring this thing home.”

“You’ve got this, I know it. Hey, where’s Maria been all day?” Felix says it like he’s just realizing she’s not around.

“Who knows. Yesterday morning she woke up determined that I’m secretly in love with YN and got on the next plane out.”

“So you guys are done?”

“Yeah about as done as you can be.”

“And YN?”

“YN is my best friend.”

“No, I'm your best friend.”

“Sorry, Fro, even you lose to YN.”

“I don’t want to win what YN is winning.”

Pato rolls his eyes and stomps his foot, huffing, “And what exactly is YN winning?”

Felix puts his hands up in self-defense, “Listen, all I’m saying is if you looked at me like you do YN, I think Emille would feel threatened.”

“Very funny.” Pato kicks the ground, staring at his shoe, he thinks about his relationship with Felix versus his with YN, sure it’s different, but him and YN have so much history. “Look, I don’t know what I feel for YN, but I don’t care either because she’s too important as a friend for me to lose her.”

“Mate you’ve been practically dating for years, I don’t think making it official will ruin anything.”

With that last piece of advice Felix takes off, leaving Pato alone with his thoughts. The whole drive back to the hotel and the rest of the night he spent thinking about YN. If everyone closest to him is saying one thing, how could they all be wrong? He thinks about everything they’ve been through together.

His first win in karting when she was the first person he ran to when he got out of the car; how she comes to every family reunion and often traveled to Mexico to spend time with his family; their senior prom when she was sad about not having a date, but she was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen that night; except for Christmas mornings when she’s in her pajamas and he gets to watch her eyes light up as they answer presents together. Maybe it’s been in front of him all along. What’s been missing from all of his other relationships has been right there.

It’s a lot to take in, but it doesn’t really matter because, like he told Felix, he wouldn’t risk their friendship if she doesn’t feel the same. He can handle a trail of failed relationships, but he could never handle losing YN. He went to bed that night knowing he had to just focus on the race and on bringing home the championship.

The next morning he’s awoken by a knock on the door. “Patricio! Open up, room service!”

He knows who’s behind the door before he opens it, there’s only one person who cares enough to bring him breakfast. When he lets YN in he sees the bag full of takeout food from a nearby diner. “Breakfast of champions, for the champion.”

Of course she’s already decided he’s a champion before the race. No one has ever believed in him as much as her. “Calm down, I don't want you to jinx me.”

“Au contraire my friend, a jinx would mean you’re winning by luck, and you are winning by sheer talent.”

It always amazes him how smart she is in the morning, he knows no more than 5 words for a solid hour after waking up, and she’s always speaking a million words a minute. “7AM is too early to be speaking another language.”

“Aw, pobrecito, ¿estás cansado?” She knew very minimal spanish, but had picked some up from time spent with his family, and used it pretty exclusively to tease him.

“You’re so not funny my brain hurts.” He is slouched over the table with his head resting on his arms.

She begins to unpack the food in front of him, “Alright, come on, time to wake up you’ve got a big day.”

The smell of eggs and bacon is what gets him to lift his head and start eating. He tries not to focus on the fact that she got him exactly what he eats every race day because that’s a can of worms he doesn’t want to touch. Regardless he eats the meal, and is sad when she pulls out her pancakes and begins to eat with him. She offers him a bite which he takes, but they both know he won’t eat any more than that because he doesn’t like big meals before a race.

After they finish, YN starts picking up their trash and Pato thanks her, “You take such good care of me, can’t believe you brought me breakfast I’m not worthy.” She’s glad for her back being turned to him because she can feel how much she’s blushing.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur, leave it to YN to be the eye in his hurricane, bringing calm before the storm. The race was close, a shitty pit stop meant Pato had to make some big passes to make up position, but Pato ended up pulling away with the final race win of the season and the championship.

YN and Elba leave the suite a few laps early so they can be on pit lane when he gets the win. After his victory lap and celebratory donuts he pulls into pit lane. Immediately his crew is flooding around him as he struggles to get out. Once he does there’s a giant group hug around Pato. Rossi and Fro also both make their way to his pits to congratulate him.

When Felix pulls Pato into a hug he whispers into his ear, “Why haven’t you gone to your girl yet, she’s waiting for you.”

Felix’s words had weight to them, all these people were surrounding him, but none of them had been on this journey with him as long as her. She waited for him for the last 15 years while he chased a career and different women, and now he’s at the peak of his career, having everything he ever wanted, and she’s not the one by his side. It hits him like a ton of bricks how bad he wants her to be the one celebrating this win with him, and every win for the rest of his life. Walking over to YN he pulls her into a hug, hoping that everything he’s feeling can be conveyed through the touch.

YN is in his ear, “I’m so proud of you, I always knew you could do it.”

He can’t find the right words, so all he says is, “I’m so glad you’re here.” he’ll explain later.

Holding her in front of thousands of people, Pato isn’t scared of losing their friendship anymore. He’s not sure of a lot, but he knows they’ll be ok, and that he’s loved her since before he knew what love was.

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (5)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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PART 4 — THE VIDEO // MASTERLIST

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 5) — FROM SAN ANTONIO TO DALLAS

liked by bestfriend, sisterinlaw, cuteguy and 63,157 others 

yourinstagram sightseeing tonight 😍 getting to know these cities only gets better and better guys 

view all 9,105 comments

harryfan7 was this before or after dinner with harry? 😏

↳ harryfan3 stoppp. my heart cant take it ↳ harryfan11 no bc the idea of them walking together and stopping to take pictures it’s just so 🤏

lookitsnyoh 🦭 pillowpersonpp 🦥 anthonypham 🧸

↳ harryfan not the teddy bear!!! 

harryfan117 MISS SARAH JONES IS HERE user8 whats with all the emojis guys!! let me innnnn  user1 YOU’RE BACK 🥰 bestfriend its not the city its all you baby bc you light up the world like nobody else

↳ harryfan that was just… ↳ harryfan5 HEJAHDH NO YOU DIDNR ↳ yourinstagram ….  ↳ yourinstagram i dont even know how to react  ↳ bestfriend wish i could say im sorry or embarrassed but im actually not 

cuteguy Looks amazing!

Sep 10, 2021 •

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liked by user1, user4 and 517 others

cuteguy congrats darling ＠yourinstagram 

view all 75 comments 

harryfan60 see?? she isn’t dating Harry

↳ harryfan58 I fucking knew it  ↳ harryfan62 hope this pr nonsense stops 

user14 little sus but alright ig  randomguy cool bro  user44 dude there’s no way she hasn’t cheated on you lol user3 you guys are so fucking disrespectful can you pls leave this man alone???

↳ user26 I mean he’s the one who decided to go public so… 🤷‍♀️ ↳ user3 his ig being public doesn’t automatically mean you’re supposed to be rude tho. 

user36 Am I the only one who finds this picture adorable?

↳ user38 me too!! i was looking for a nice comment about it lol thanks! ↳ user36 I mean they definitely look like a couple and idk it’s a cute pic :( ❤️ liked by author 

Sep 10, 2021 •

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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, cuteguy and 63,879 others 

yourinstagram update time: went out for a run and my lungs got on fire. view was great though. zero complaints. also the show last night was INCREDIBLE. 

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bestfriend shut up you actually went for a run?? 

↳ harrystyles I wouldn’t call that going for a “run”.  ↳ bestfriend okay that actually makes more sense now ↳ yourinstagram excuse me????? 

harryfan OMFG harry interacting with yourbff??? 

↳ harryfan5 I KNOW! where are you ＠bestfriend are you still alive???  ↳ bestfriend no  ↳ bestfriend but im pretending to be cool about it so 🤫 ↳ harryfan OMFHAJDHPAHDJ ILY

cuteguy 😍 user7 yessss! two days in a row!!!! thank you!!! user1 looks so prettyyyyyy! hope you’re doing okay <33

↳ yourinstagram i am!! thank you love <333 

yourbrother Won’t believe you’ve moved your ass to be healthy until I see it.  

↳ yourinstagram the fact that you dont believe me wont change the fact that it happened :D

harryfan15 harry is such a stalker. interacting with her posts when he doesn’t even follow her lol harryfan25 Anne started following her!!!  user10 Not to rush you, but are we getting more videos anytime soon? I was so used to getting one every week… :( user25 So… She’s officially dating that cuteguy, isn’t she? 

↳ user17 What? Who said that?  ↳ user25 TMZ updated that article of her and Harry having dinner with this picture of them ↳ user17 Oh… Where can I see this picture? ↳ user25 She’s tagged on it. ＠cuteguy posted it  ↳ user13 i wouldn’t believe (or read) TMZ guys ↳ harryfan68 funny how you won’t believe TMZ when it’s about this guy but you’ll believe them when it’s about harry ↳ user13 lmao I’m not in that fandom so I couldn’t care less about her dating harry or not. 

harryfan13 SO WE ARE ALL GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT HARRY AND YN WENT OUT FOR A RUN TOGETHER?????

↳ harryfan60 Yes bc no one actually believes they did. Next. ↳ harryfan68 hahaha you ate this one 

Sep 10, 2021 •

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liked by harryfan, harryfan2, harryfan3 and 4,375 others 

harryupdates A fan met Harry in San Antonio today! 

According to the fan, Harry said he was on a tight schedule so couldn’t stay for a chat, but agreed to take a quick picture and thanked her for going to the show. 

view all 675 comments

fanwhometharry “Thank you so much I hope you enjoyed it”, those were his words exactly :’)

↳ harryfan27 OMG IT WAS YOU?? YOU’RE SO LUCKY ↳ fanwhometharry I know!! Thank you!!! ↳ harryfan24 was he alone??  ↳ fanwhometharry No, he was walking with his personal trainer and Yn ↳ harryfan52 his personal trainer also has a name btw and it’s Brad  ↳ fanwhometharry Sorry, I don’t keep up with his personal trainer 🤷 I only know Yn bc I watch her youtube videos ↳ harryfan9 don’t apologize they’re always finding something to complain about lol happy for you!!

harryfan72 How convenient… He always agrees to take pictures when Yn is around 🙄 

↳ harryfan68 right??? almost as if he WANTS people to spread the word… 

harryfan13 I KNEW I WAS RIGHT AND THEY WERE TOGETHER

Sep 10, 2021 •

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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, cuteguy and 61,574 others 

yourinstagram DALLAS! you are sooooo so pretty <3 we arrived yesterday and im already in love. it was a sunny afternoon so i went out for a walk, and as i was on my way to buy some flowers to myself (bc i wanted some so i got some) i had one of those surreal moments thinking about how lucky i am to be where i am right now. im always waiting for this feeling to eventually go away so i can come back to my “old life” and my “old self”, but now im kinda considering that as time goes by and i get to know more and more places, it will actually only grow bigger and bigger, right? :’) 

(in that case, feel free to unfollow me now bc the annoyance will only grow bigger and bigger as well — consider yourself warned.)

view all 14,102 comments

sisterinlaw The summer vibes are gorgeous! harryfan42 WAS HARRY WITH YOU????  user1 another post??? feels like going back to the old times im so happy!!! harryfan64 this girl won’t even post her face and she got like 4k new followers in one day 

↳ harrystyles82 It’s the Harry Styles effect  ↳ harryfan64 glad im not the only one who sees it 🤡

harryfan YN? DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST SAY I WANTED SOME SO I GOT SOME??? 

↳ harryfan5 i saw that too i was like… okay 😂 ↳ harryfan9 hahaha I hope she actually did get some tbh  ↳ harryfan13 ME TOO!! ↳ bestfriend yes. she 100% did ↳ harryfan9 😲 ↳ harryfan lmaoshuahsjbjh  ↳ harryfan17 wait ＠bestfriend she 100% say “i wanted some so i got some” or she 100% got some?  ↳ harryfan23 oh god i cant believe this is a real conversation you guys are having HAHAHA

user17 please keep feeding us with your random cute posts!! <3 i love them!! bestfriend fgs ＠yourinstagram have some manners  bestfriend i thought you didnt like exposing yourself like this  bestfriend also… your mom is on instagram so…  bestfriend PLEASE 

↳ yourinstagram omfg shut upppp ahusdhjahj ↳ yourinstagram stop encouraging the nonsense behavior??? ↳ yourinstagram you KNOW i meant the flowers ↳ yourinstagram i wanted some FLOWERS so i got some FLOWERS ↳ bestfriend yeah i know 💐 ↳ bestfriend sorry its just too funny sometimes 💋

loveynrry did anyone else notice yn hasn’t liked THAT picture yet? 👀

↳ user4 which one? ↳ loveynrry the one @/cuteguy posted ↳ user4 ohhhhhh 👀 ↳ user4 also did you notice yourbff doesn’t follow him ↳ user9 shit ＠user4 i hadn’t noticed that  ↳ loveynrry i did, yeah… thats why im sus about him ↳ user4 I mean, I trust yourbff judgement soooooo…… 

Sep 11, 2021  •

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PART 6: PHILLY AND DC

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[guess-my-next-obsession]

Elementary, Finale:

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

rating: E (18+ only—i choose not to list warnings for this one as not to spoil anything but you know how we get down over here on GMNO, happy endings only. read at your own discretion.) unedited/not proofread (for now)

wc: 7k

series masterlist | joel masterlist

June, 2004

“Don’t you dare,” Joel ordered as he surprised you from the doorway of your bedroom—your former bedroom.

You stood in front of a stack of cardboard boxes labeled “linens”, your hands resting on two sides as though you were caught mid-lift. He walked over to you with a smirk, shaking his head before lifting the box for you.

“You’re already carrying enough,” he said, eyes falling to your swollen belly, six-months into your first pregnancy.

“I think I’m more than capable of carrying a box of sheets,” you countered with a matching smirk, reaching for the box that sat below the one he just stole from you.

“Uh-uh,” Tommy came rushing in, sweeping the box from your grasp. “You got my nephew to worry about.”

“How do you know I’m having a boy?” you asked, following your fiancé and soon-to-be brother in law out of your old home to watch them load the moving truck.

“I can just feel it,” he replied, earning a smile from his older brother.

“I’m still hopin’ for another girl,” Joel admitted as he walked down the rickety metal ramp to meet you as you stood in the walkway, his hands sliding over your belly to rest on your waist. He placed a sweet kiss on your lips before letting you go. “You should go sit in the sunroom with Sarah and Jessie. Make sure they’re keepin’ room for Jesus and all that.”

“Oh, let them be. Not like we have to worry about teen pregnancy—“

“Alright, alright.” Joel covered his ears, wincing at the thought. “Still, I don’t want you workin’ too hard.”

“Joel, I promise, I’m not working hard at all. You and Tommy won’t give me the chance.”

“That’s how it should be,” he countered, walking inside the house with you following behind.

“Guys, guess what?” Sarah and her newly defined girlfriend, Jessie burst into the half-packed kitchen as you stood slowly making your way through your pantry, organizing a keep pile and a donate pile. Joel lifted a brow at her as he started on taking the metal barstools that stood at your kitchen island apart so that they could take up less room in the truck. “Britney Spears is coming to San Antonio next month.”

“Praise to the heavens,” Joel mumbled under his breath, earning a chuckle from you as you rolled you eyes at his lackluster reaction.

“That’s fun!” you replied, looking at the two fifteen year-olds. “How much are tickets?”

“Like thirty bucks,” Jessie sighed, frowning. “My mom’s gonna make me work at the restaurant to earn it.”

“Well, she’s got the right idea,” Joel stood, having disassembled the first stool. “Sarah, why don’t you come work with me and Tommy this week and I’ll buy your ticket.”

“Really?” she asked with a hopeful smile before remembering her fathers line of work. “Wait—at the site? I won’t know what to do.”

“I’m sure we can find somethin’ for you to do.”

“Yeah, I mean…Britney’s worth it,” Sarah sighed and shrugged before walking back into the sunroom with Jessie in tow.

“Hey, did I tell you we got a new hire?” Joel spoke to you as he started on the second stool.

“Oh, that’s good. I thought you were having trouble finding someone?”

“We were, but she got the seal of approval from Tommy. Guess she’s a real jack-of-all-trades type’a builder. S’just what we needed.” You smiled at him proudly, his construction company having taken off this last year and a half. They were almost too busy, too booked, leaving Joel and Tommy to stay behind and work the amount of four people instead of two just so that their projects remained on time. “Hopefully might start gettin’ two days off a week instead of one.”

“That would be nice,” you hummed, walking over to him to slide your hand over his sweaty but irresistible back as he crouched down to unscrew some bolts from the legs of the stool. “I’ve been like a lonely little housewife these last few months. Holed up waiting for my man to come back from the coal mines.”

“Oh, is that right?” He looked up at you with a smirk. It had been a few weeks since the two of you had last been together, long days at the site and, for you, at school forcing you apart. Aside from a few steamy but quick makeouts, you were left longing for your soon-to-be husband. “I been neglectin’ you, huh?”

You nodded, your smile spreading wider as you played along, your voice dramatic and theatrical as you tried on an old-timey southern belle persona. “All I got is this baby I’m brewing to remember you by.”

Joel stood up and dropped his tools on the kitchen counter before letting his hands find your waist, tugging you as close to him as your belly would allow. He leaned in, pressing a featherlight kiss to your cheek that caused your entire body to light with chills as his kisses traveled down your neck.

“Why don’t I take you into the bedroom and give you that attention you’ve been needin’ so bad,” he rasped against your skin, dizzying your mind as you clung to him, breathless and wanting.

“House full of people,” Tommy’s voice sounded, reminding the two of you why you’d gone so long without each other in the first place. “Thought this would be done by now. Been, what, three years?”

“Don’t mind him, his longest relationship has been with the goddamn Longhorns,” Joel mumbled, keeping you hugged to his body. “Don’t know a thing about real love.”

“Yeah, yeah, save me the lecture, old man.” Tommy batted his brother’s teasing away and continued on packing and moving in the living room.

“Have I really been neglectin’ you, baby? All jokes aside,” Joel asked in a whisper pressed to your ear. You squeezed him closer and laid your head on his chest, Joel’s chin resting on top of it as he held you.

“No, I mean…I do miss you, and it has been a while since we last were together, but you’re not neglecting me. You still come home and hold me and talk to me and makeout with me,” you spoke softly, your voice a soothing hum against his chest. “We’re tired people, and especially now with the baby…I didn’t expect you to be clawing my clothes off when I look like a whale—“

“Excuse me?” he snapped, pulling your head from his chest so he could sternly look into your eyes. “None’a that. You’re beautiful…carryin’ our baby. Drives me fuckin’ wild seein’ you like this. M’sorry I haven’t been energized enough to show it, but I promise you, baby…you’re drivin’ me crazy walkin’ around like this.”

His hands slipped to squeeze the globes of your ass that had grown along with your belly and hips and, well, everything else.

“Tommy’s gonna see,” you scolded in a whisper as Joel’s fingers pinched the fabric of your dress until it started to lift, allowing his hands to rest against your skin and the cotton of your panties. Weaker and breathier, you exhaled, “Or the girls.”

“I promise no one’s gonna see,” he rasped, pressing his against your neck.

“Dad, come out here quick! There’s—oh my god! There’s a scorpion!” Sarah’s high-pitched squeal had Joel rushing out into the sunroom, his teasing long forgotten as he searched the room frantically. Sarah pointed in the corner and Joel spotted it, black and bigger than any scorpion he’d seen before.

“How the hell’d you get in here?” he muttered to the insect as he guided the girls inside the house before coming inside as well to grab a cup and the dust pan.

You stood in the frame of the sliding glass door, watching him as he carefully approached the scorpion as though he was Steve Irwin approaching a crocodile.

“They don’t jump, do they?” you asked, wincing as Joel started to make contact, guiding it towards the cup. The girls were behind you as though you were a shield, both of them letting out a squeal when the scorpion tried to strike Joel’s wrist, just barely missing. “Joel, just leave it! This can just be his house now, it’s not worth it.”

“Oh, hush,” Joel barked, keeping focused on the task before him. With either skill or luck, Joel managed to sweep the ground-hog sized scorpion into the glass cup and placed the dust pan over the mouth to keep him inside. “See, I got it.”

“Dad, don’t!” Sarah got gravely serious, sternly ordering her father to remain where he was with a point of her finger. Joel grinned and continued over, making both of the girls squeal and run off through the house.

“It’s so gross,” you cringed, leaning over to look at it through the glass with extreme caution and hesitancy.

“I don’t know,” Joel lifted it to his eye level to study it. “I think he’s kinda cool lookin’. Maybe we can keep ‘em as a pet.”

“Yeah, ri-IGHT—Joel!” you shrieked in terror as he pushed the glass towards you with a bark, making you jump backwards. Joel cackled as he watched you stand with your hand over your heart, your stern eyes watching him unamused. “That wasn’t funny.”

“I thought it was,” he chuckled. You watched him walk out to the backyard and set his new friend free, your heart still thumping in your chest. “Gotta get your heart rate up every now and then.”

“I don’t think you do.” Joel laughed and walked to hold you but was stopped by your hand pushing against his chest. “No, you don’t get to touch me. I almost pissed myself!”

Joel laughed again, proud of his prank. “God, it was good.”

“I’m glad you’re satisfied. I can promise you that’s the only satisfaction you’re gonna get for a while, pal.” Joel poured immediately, following you as you walked through the house out to the front yard where Tommy, Sarah, and Jessie laid out in the grass, staring up at the sky. “Everybody, we’re shunning Joel.”

“What?” he chuckled, looking at you with amusement and affection, so rarely seeing you worked up like this.

“Sure thing,” Tommy replied, mellow and relaxed as he looked at the clouds, a beer in his hand.

“Sounds good,” Jessie agreed before pointing at the sky. “That’s a dragon.”

“Yeah it is,” Sarah agreed. “And why are we shunning dad?”

“He threw the scorpion at me.” You knew you were exaggerating, your smirk growing as you watched Joel scoff at the claim, a look of amazement on the entire time.

“I did no such thing,” he defended. “I jumped it at her—“

“Oh, that’s right. He jumped it at me,” you repeated, still smirking at him. “A pregnant woman.”

“Oh, the pregnancy card again,” Joel playfully sighed, earning a gasp from you.

“Pregnancy card? How dare you?” you laughed. “I rest my case, Sarah.”

“Alright, yeah. Dad’s shunned.” Joel rolled his eyes at you before walking over, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he sang, widening your already smitten grin. “I promise not to throw any more scorpions at ya. You forgive me now?”

“Mmhm,” you hummed, melting into him.

“I ain’t shunned?” he murmured, kissing your shoulder innocently.

“No, but the threat’s always there. As you just saw, I have the votes.” Joel chuckled against your skin.

“Trust me, I know my place.”

A Week Later

It was a Friday, you’d been stuck at the house all alone, Sarah off with her dad at the site to earn her Britney Spears ticket money. After doing a few hours of nesting, marrying your things to Joel’s around the house, you perked up at the sight of Joel’s name on the caller ID of your cell.

“Hi,” you sang with a smile.

“Hey baby,” he greeted. “Was wonderin’ if you could pick me and Sarah up in about a half hour?”

“Ooo, I get you home early tonight?” Your smile turned into a grin.

“Yeah, but Sean’s havin’ a barbecue at his place. Invited the whole crew so I guess we should show up.”

“Well, I’m in.”

“See you in a little?”

“Sounds good, baby.”

You smiled as you flipped your cell shut, but the task of dressing yourself quickly wiped your grin away.

You felt like a whale in everything these days, and despite Joel’s eagerness for you each and every day, you felt like a stranger to yourself. Even in the dresses you’d been living in, you felt every change in the way your body used to fill them out. You quickly shooed the insecurity from your mind and dressed yourself for comfort before heading out to go pick the Miller’s up.

Rolling into the construction site, you spotted Joel and Sarah standing in the dirt parking lot out in front of the project, a woman in front of them talking. You furrowed your brows as you got closer, seeing that whoever this woman was, she was pretty—the kind of pretty that makes you wonder why the hell she’s here in a construction lot instead of on billboards and magazine covers.

Your chest felt tight with insecurity as you pulled up to them, hoping with all your might that Joel didn’t try to introduce you to Construction-Barbie.

“Alright, Meg. See ya at the party.” Joel waved to her as he opened the backseat for Sarah, a friendly—too friendly—smile on his face when he hopped in the passenger seat. “Hey baby,” Joel leaned forward for a kiss but you were still too jealous to oblige, giving him your cheek instead. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” you lied, nodding as you pulled out of the lot, the rest of the drive silent besides the pop on the radio and Sarah's soft hums.

After giving the two of them time to change into nicer clothes, all three of you piled into the car again with Joel in the driver's seat. Sarah talked about her day at work, how cool it was to work with Meg, and how surprising it was that the newcomer managed to make her dad laugh. You tried not to picture the scene.

Joel stopped at a grocery store, running in quickly to grab some beer and a few bags of chips to bring to the party while you and Sarah remained in the car.

“Meg sounds great,” you spoke, unable to keep your jealousy to yourself.

“She’s alright,” Sarah replied, seemingly noticing your insecurity. “A little chatty.”

“Your dad didn’t seem to mind,” you mumbled, mostly to yourself.

“She was a little flirty,” Sarah replied. “But dad didn’t seem to notice.”

You tried to shake the jealousy, knowing that it was silly and hormone-driven. Joel loved you. But that didn’t mean that he still couldn’t find someone else attractive at the same time.

At the party, you kept mostly to yourself. You were introverted on a good day, but with this heavy insecurity weighing you down, you found yourself retreating inward while everyone else mingled and carried on.

You were inside the house of Joel’s lead plumber, his wife buzzing around the house as she tried to corral her five children under five. You sat in the living room, watching and praying yours didn’t come out like that—loud and disobedient and restless.

“So, how far along are you?” she asked, breathless as she gave up and sat down on the loveseat across from you.

“Six months,” you replied with a small but friendly smile. “Got any advice for me?”

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Besides not havin’ ‘em in the first place? I don’t know—sleep whenever you can. They’ll suck the life outta you if you let ‘em.”

“A little bleak, honey,” Sean, her husband, walked in through the patio door, Joel following behind him.

“It’s the truth,” she argued, giving him a passive aggressive sigh. “It ain’t easy. ‘Specially if there’s only one parent home to do it.”

“Alright,” he chuckled, trying to ease the tension.

You stood, ready to venture beyond the tension anf chaos of the house, even if it meant having to enter the crowded backyard.

“You comin’ out?” Joel asked, holding his hand out for you to take. You accepted it and let him walk you outside. “That was brutal in there.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. Joel’s eyes scanned you as you stood beside him, staring ahead.

“You sure you’re alright? Been awfully quiet,” he noted.

“Yeah, just…feeling a little off today,” you lied.

Spotting a familiar head of strawberry blonde curls snorting with laughter as she stood with Tommy and Sarah by the grill. They both looked comfortable around her, making your stomach curl with a new type of jealousy. She wanted your entire family.

“Joel!” she called once she caught you staring. “Come over here and join us, darlin’!”

You resented the petname. Turning to Joel, you watched as his cheeks flushed, his eyes flickering to yours.

“C’mon,” he looked to you fully, attempting to slide his hand across your back but you stopped him, swatting his arm away. “Baby,” he began, but you were already too worked up to be consoled. “She calls everybody that.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” you muttered.

“Baby, you ain’t really jealous, are you?” He chuckled. Wrong move. With a furrow in your brow, you reached your hands into his pockets and tugged out the keys to the car.

“I’m going home. Call me when you wanna be picked up from your date.”

Joel called after you only once, not wanting to make a scene by raising his voice or following you out.

Back at home, you stewed. What started as hormonal territorialism quickly snowballed into justified rage. She’d clearly met your eyes, seeing you standing there beside him, and ignored you. Then, she proceeded to flirt with him right in front of you. Joel did nothing about it except for defend her, which was what you were currently most angry about.

As you aggressively turned the pages of the book you were reading to distract yourself, you were surprised to see headlights through the window. Closing your book, you got up and peeled through the blinds to see Joel and Sarah stepping out of a taxi, your cheeks heating as guilt set in. You didn’t mean for Sarah to get involved in your fight with Joel.

Hurrying upstairs, you heard the front door open, the two of them speaking downstairs but it was too faint to make any sense. As you stood in the bathroom, hurting your clothes off so that you could jump in the shower, you felt more than heard Joel’s heavy footsteps up the staircase. Soon, after you stepped into the shower, Joel found his way into the bathroom, announcing himself in the doorway.

“We’re home.” His voice was gentle, but carried a sadness to it that made you feel less angry and more guilty.

“Okay,” you managed.

“Can I come in?” he asked, the question lingering in the air for a bit before you answered.

“Yeah,” you decided.

In the matter of a few seconds, Joel was stripped and stepping in behind you, his eyes locked on yours.

“I’m sorry,” he started, stepping closer to you and the stream of water. “I told her that pet-name stuff wasn’t cool with me, but I guess she ain’t as good at listenin’ as she is talkin’.”

“She’s pretty,” you replied, desperate to keep hold of this jealousy.

“Tommy thinks so,” Joel added.

“And you?” He shook his head and rested his hands on the swell of your stomach.

“I’m too busy thinkin’ about you,” he replied. “Thinkin’ ‘bout our family.”

“I know you love me, Joel. It’s not about that,” you sighed, moving to turn around but he stopped you before you could even flinch, forcing you to look at him when you continued. “I want you to think I’m…pretty like that. To want me.”

“You don’t think I want you?” He chuckled, shaking his head in utter disbelief. “For someone who ‘doesn’t want you’, I sure seem to paw at you every minute of every day.”

“I guess you’re right,” you chuckled, finally seeing the light beyond all the dark gray that this storm of jealousy and insecurity you were caught in. “Just seeing you with someone so pretty, who does what you do—“

“First off, she’s alright. She ain’t half as good as Tommy promised me was. M’pretty sure they’re fuckin’ and that’s why he recommended her.” You laughed. “Secondly, I need you to know that it doesn’t matter who I’m standin’ next to. I’m only ever thinkin’ about the next time I get to see you.”

“You’re good at this,” you smiled, reaching to hold his face in your hands. “Defusing the bomb that is a pregnant woman’s mind.”

“You know…I think that’s the first time I ever saw you jealous,” he hummed, leaning in to press a soft, teasing kiss on your lips.

“It happens a lot, I’m just usually good at hiding it,” you whispered back, stealing a few kisses for yourself. “Think you should prepare yourself for more of this crazy. Might be this way until the baby comes.”

“I like the crazy,” he smiled.

Five years later — December 25th, 2009

“Iris, watch out—“ Your five year old daughter ran full speed through the kitchen and living room, your two year old son, Miles, clumsily chasing her with his brand new stuffed dinosaur. It was hard to be mad at either of them, their giggles filling the room along with the crunch of the wrapping paper littering the carpet beneath their feet.

“Alright,” Joel scooped both of his children up and threw them over his shoulder, earning squeals and laughter as he walked them over to the couch you were sitting on. He plopped kids onto your lap but only Miles stayed. Joel sighed and sat down beside you as Iris got up again, a mischievous grin on her face as she stood before the three of you, all eyes on her. “Well,” Joel started, lifting his hands before dropping them back onto his lap. “We paid for a show. Are you gonna sing for us, Hannah Montana?”

“Daddy, where’s the phone?” Iris asked, making a fist and then tapping it to help illustrate what she wanted.

“The microphone? Somewhere in all this mess,” you replied, gesturing to the mountain of wrapping paper on the floor. “Gotta go fishing for it, baby.”

Iris quickly got to work, making an arguably bigger mess as she searched for her brand new toy, a microphone that was supposed to be its own speaker as well, but truthfully wasn’t much louder than Iris’s voice.

“Hey, hey!” Sarah walked in the front door with a smile, two large bags in her hands stuffed full of wrapped presents. When she took in the mess, she frowned. “Ah, did you guys already do gifts?”

“Iris already had them open before we even got downstairs,” Joel replied as he walked to the door to take the bags from his now twenty year-old’s hands before giving her a tight hug. “Martin come along?”

Martin was Sarah’s boyfriend of two years, the pair meeting in her biology class freshman year of college.

“Yeah, he’s getting the bags,” Sarah replied before coming over to hug you tight.

“How are you? How’s school?” You missed having Sarah at the house but were more than proud of her for getting into the pre-med program at Stanford.

“School is school, but it’s been way easier now that we aren’t living in the dorms anymore.”

“Sissy!” Iris rushed up to her sister and waved her new Hannah Montana microphone in her face. “Sing with me.”

“Oh…yay,” Sarah forced a smile but looked to you for help.

“How about we open the gifts sissy brought instead?” you proposed and your daughter instantly agreed.

“How was the drive?” Joel spoke to Martin as he helped him carry the bags upstairs to Sarah’s old bedroom.

“Not too bad. Sarah snored the entire way.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. Think she gets it from me.”

When Joel and Martin returned from the second floor, they immediately found their spots beside their partners, each of them making the same pained groan as they sat down.

“God,” you chuckled, looking to Sarah who was already looking at you. “They’re the same person.”

“Gross. Hate that.”

“You gonna pass out the gifts or what?” Joel asked, unamused by the comparison.

As Sarah and Martin sorted out the gifts, handing a few to Iris, a few to Miles, two to you and one to Joel. Joel shook his head at the box handed to him, but Sarah’s round eyes got her her way every single time.

“Told you no gifts for me,” Joel grumbled as he ripped the wrapping. “Don’t want you spendin’ your money—“

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” she smiled, sitting down beside her boyfriend. “I think you’ll like this one. It’s a gift for everybody, but I think you’re going to have the most fun with it.”

You watched him rather than opening your own gifts, the small black box in his hand opening to reveal a key. Joel looked up with boyish eyes, shocked and excited and near tears all at the same time.

“What is it?” you asked, plucking the key from his hand.

“This ain’t—how—what?” Joel spoke through his shock.

“What’s it a key to?” you asked again, chuckling at the tears welling up in your husband’s eyes.

“My parents used to own this beat up old ranch in San Antonio, but had to sell it off when Sarah was a kid. I always wanted to buy it back and fix it up, but I just…never got around to it,” Joel finally replied to your questioning, turning to you with wet eyes and a big smile before looking at his daughter and her boyfriend. “How did—“

“My dad’s a realtor and knew the guy who was selling it, so Sarah and I put our money together to buy it back,” Martin detailed.

“In your name, so don’t get too excited. Mortgage isn’t gonna be that bad because we got it at twenty thousand and we put down a decent down payment,” Sarah added. “So, just a few hundred a month.”

“Baby girl,” Joel shook his head and looked down at the key. “How much do I owe y’all—“

“Dad, you took care of me my whole life. You deserve this. Besides, I just signed with a publisher for my book, so—“

“What?” you practically squealed, Miles covering his ears as he sat in your lap. “Congrats, baby girl!”

“Thank you, thank you,” she smiled and bowed, bringing your eyes to the shining rock on her ring finger. Joel seemingly noticed it too because his clapping suddenly ceased.

“What’s that?” he asked, his eyes shifting to Martin’s nervous stare.

“Shit—we were gonna announce it at dinner so Uncle Tommy could be here too, but…” She looked to her boyfriend. “We’re engaged.”

“Oh my god,” you gasped, your hands lifting to your mouth to hide the joy in your smile. “I’m so happy. Oh my god!”

“That’s bad, mommy,” Iris scolded. You nodded but pointed at Sarah’s ring.

“I known, but sissy’s getting married, baby!”

“Dad?” Sarah spoke to her father who sat frozen in shock. You turned to him as well, studying him carefully for any signs of anger or disappointment, but instead found only pride and joy. “Please don’t be mad. Martin wanted to ask first but I told him that’s too old school—“

“Baby, I’m not mad,” he assured softly, shaking his head as his eyes welled with fresh tears. “I’m just so happy.”

“Oh, dad,” Sarah cooed, her own eyes shedding tears as she walked over to hug her father close as he stood up. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, baby girl. So much.” Joel squeezed her once more before letting her go and turning to her fiancé. “And you too by proxy.”

After a long afternoon spent beside Joel at the computer studying the state of the ranch from the pictures Martin pulled up from the realtor, it was decided that Joel would take weekends off of work—not that he usually worked them anymore, the business having taken off so much that it forced him into a more managerial role—and drive down to the ranch to work on it, the kids and you invited of course but he understood if you didn’t want to, after all, “It ain’t gonna be pretty for a while, baby”. You agreed to let him check it out in person first before coming along because it seemed a little too dangerous for the kids with the property’s long, unmowed yard and old, untouched cabin.

Dinnertime came and so did Tommy and his girlfriend of one year—who also happened to be your good friend and a successful attorney—Maria, the two of them walking into a cleaner home than the one Sarah and Martin were greeted with. She had a six year old son, Kevin, who loved to play with your babies every time he came over.

“No fuckin’ way,” Tommy held up Sarah’s left hand to stare at the ring. “You were just a snot-nosed kid a second ago.”

“Yep,” she giggled.

“Well,” Tommy dropped her hand and looked to Martin, giving him a handshake. “You know who you’re gonna answer to if you hurt her.”

“Alright,” Joel interjected as he returned to the kitchen table that the adults were sat at while the kids played in the living room, The Grinch on in the background to busy them even more. He set a bottle of beer down in front of each of you, but Marin was quick to slide her bottle away from her. “No? And I bought the good shit just to impress y’all.”

“It’s just…” She looked to Tommy for help, the younger Miller smirking as he turned to the table.

“We’re havin’ a baby,” he announced and the table roared with applause and cheers. Joel’s smile was the widest, the two brothers locking eyes. Joel lifted his beer up to toast to life and the rest of you gladly clinked your bottles together in agreement. To life, indeed.

March, 2010

“So,” Joel started, a proud but nervous grin on his face as you climbed out of the passenger seat of the car to get a good look at the ranch. “What d’ya think?”

The long, unmowed grass was now trimmed neatly, making the land look so much bigger. Joel had fixed the gate, but you noticed that when he pulled in; he made sure to have a sign placed at the entrance reading “Miller Ranch” to properly fulfill his lifelong dream. The old, rickety cabin was now renovated and converted into a private den in case Sarah and Martin ever wanted to come stay for a while. Beside it stood a brand new ranch house, modest in size compared to the surrounding ranches, but it was big enough to hold three bedrooms, two baths, a kitchen, and a living room. But the part you loved most was the wrap-around porch he built by hand, painted a soft, pale yellow to contrast to the white of the home.

“I think,” you started, a smile growing on your face. “I wanna live here now.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled and approached you at the passenger side door, pressing you against it. “Why don’t we go inside? Maybe…test it out.”

“Mm, might as well take advantage of Tommy and Maria watching the kids,” you replied, your lips ghosting over his.

Joel tugged you along by the hand up the gravel driveway, allowing you the time to admire the little details like the swing he built onto the big oak tree between the den and the house, or the sneak peek you caught of rose bushes in the backyard. With each detail, you fell more and more in love with the property, and what was once a joke now turned into a serious longing—you wanted to move here. Bad.

“Ready?” Joel asked as he opened the screen door and rested his hand on the doorknob of the main, wooden door painted that same, soft yellow. You nodded at him and he opened the house, letting you walk in first, he flipped on the lights behind you as he entered. You gasped at the living room, how spacious but cozy it felt with a fireplace built in, not that the San Antonio weather ever really called for it.

Turning to the other side, you saw the dining room that connected into the kitchen via a square archway. You started that way, admiring the hand-made dining table before walking into the kitchen of your dreams. You let out a moan at the size of it, the brand new appliances that were a surprise but don’t worry, they’re on a lease.

Back in the hall, you carried on, admiring the framed pictures he’d hung of your joined family over the years, the smiling image of Sarah’s mother and Mary and Paul and everyone you’d lost bringing tears to your eyes.

“This is gonna be Miles’ room,” Joel opened the door to a room set up for a kid rather than a toddler aside from the bed with safety rails on it. You smiled at the thought of your son growing up here.

“And this?” you reached for the door across the hall and opened it to find a bathroom, modest but new.

“Kids bath,” he replied. Guiding you to the room beside Miles’, Joel opened it and displayed a soft pink painted bedroom that Iris was going to absolutely adore. “For baby girl.”

“Which means this has to be our room, right?” you asked, reaching for the door across from your daughter's room. “Little close, no?”

“Mm-mm,” he shook his head and entered the room, shutting the door behind him. He made a lot of noise, or at least that’s what you assumed from his heavy feet jumping on the hardwood floors, but you couldn’t hear much of anything. When he emerged, he was breathless and smiling. “Hear anything?”

“Felt you jumping around, but no,” you grinned. “You soundproofed it?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Took me a while to get it right but…we can make all the noise we want now.”

“Well,” you began, sliding your hands up his chest as you batted your eyes at him. “Why don’t we give it a proper go?”

“Yeah,” he hummed, leaning down to kiss you teasingly, forcing you to seek more of his mouth in yours. “Come on,” he rasped, tugging you into the bedroom. “There’s one more surprise on the tour before I can get you naked. Go take a look in the bathroom.”

You did as you were told, leaving him by the bed to walk into the en-suite. You gasped at the clawfoot tub perched by a large bay window, looking out at the garden of flowers he’d planted.

“Joel…you—“ You shook your head, eyes now raining tears as you stood in the middle of the bathroom. Joel laughed and came over to hold you as you buried your face in his chest. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, baby,” he chuckled, amused by your reaction. “You like it, I take it?”

“Like it?” you lifted your head and shocked him with the amount of tears soaking your eyes. “I’m about to get down on my knees.”

“You can get down on your knees after I get my fill, how about that?” he husked against your cheek as he kissed your tears. “Go lay down on the bed, baby. Everything off.”

You didn’t waste any time in obeying, practically skipping out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Your shoes and jeans came off first, then your top, and finally your undergarments before you climbed onto the mattress to test it out. Joel walked in but remained patient at the foot of the bed as you laid in the center of the mattress, beckoning him closer with the curl of your finger. Joel grinned and peeled his t-shirt off before slowly, painfully slowly, undoing his belt and jeans.

“Roll over,” he commanded. “Wanna see somethin’.”

“I wonder, what ever could that be?” you joked, rolling onto your stomach and instinctively arching your ass into the air. Joel’s knees dipped the mattress as he crawled onto the bed behind you, his hands gripping the globes of your ass as he let out a groan.

“So pretty like this,” he hummed before surprising you with a broad lick up the seam of your cunt. “My country girl.”

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be, just don’t stop.” Joel laughed at your plea but obliged, licking you again. He kept at it, his tongue greedily and filthily lapping up every inch of you it could find before tensing and burying into your cunt while his fingers rubbed circles over your clit.

“Mm,” he hummed as he pulled away for a moment to speak. “There’s a gift for you in the nightstand. Why don’t you have a look?”

You chuckled hesitantly and crawled over the mattress to reach into the nightstand on your side of the bed, finding a long black box inside. You pulled it out and turned over to sit, facing Joel as he sat on his ankles at the foot of the bed. “Open it.”

“Is this—“ You silenced yourself by opening the box, your eyes taking in the sight of one of those wands you’d been desperately dropping hints about wanting to try out. “Oh, baby. You’ve got competition now.”

“Oh, do I?” he smirked, crawling to lay over you, forcing your head to rest back against the pillows. “That’s alright. Gettin’ too old to do all that work anyways. Might as well take all the help I can get.”

“You know you’ll always have one thing no one else has,” you purred, reaching to stroke his cock as it rested on your belly. “They couldn’t replicate this if they tried.”

“Mm,” he smiled against you. “You’re just flatterin’ me now.”

“Uh-uh,” you shook your head. “It’s perfect. The way you fill me up, the way it feels inside. I’ll never get enough.”

“Fuck, baby,” he whined against your jaw as he nibbled there. “Turn it on, wanna get you ready to take me. So damn hard for you, can’t even think.”

You flipped on the vibrator, gasping at the power behind it while Joel simply groaned.

“Go on,” he urged. “Press it to your clit, baby.”

“Fuck,” you hissed as you lowered it to your bundle of nerves, the whir of the vibrations making your thighs tense and jerk, but Joel’s hips stopped them from closing.

“Does it feel good?” he asked against your pulse as he kissed the skin there.

“Yes,” you panted. “But I want you.”

“Not ‘til you cum,” he replied, trailing his fingers down your belly, past the vibrator, and into your soaked entrance. You let out an animalistic moan, something primal and so unlike yourself. “God, baby,” he moaned against you as he curled his fingers up towards that dizzying spot inside. “You don’t make those noises for me. Maybe I do got competition.”

“Joel,” you whined, unsure of what to say or how to describe how good it felt to have him inside you along with this gift of an invention. “Please. Please.”

“Cum on my fingers,” he ordered, low and dark and right into your ear. “Then I’ll give you what you want.”

As if your body had simply been awaiting the order, you came immediately, squeezing him as you writhed beneath his weight, the vibrator turned off and tossed across the bed. Joel slid into you while you were still clenching around nothing, your breath getting knocked out of your lungs at the force of his thrusts inside. You felt like you transcended into some sinful sort of heaven, one where only you and Joel resided.

“God, baby,” he whined, his arms slid beneath the arch of your back to hug you tight as he pounded into you. “So fuckin’ wet. God, I need to cum. Been too long.”

“Those fuckin’ kids,” you managed a joke, earning a laugh before he found his rhythm again.

“Baby, fuck,” he warned, his voice as wrecked as yours as you screamed his name into the empty home, your nails scratching down his back as you begged him to let you cum again, as if he ever denied you. “Go on,” he urged, sitting up on his knees to watch his cock disappear into you only to come out covered in your shine. “Fuck, come on. Cum for me. Right fuckin’ now, baby.”

“Oh!” you screamed, again unlike yourself, and clawed at his arms for purchase as your orgasm hit so hard it might have been painful if it hadn’t felt so fucking good. “Joel, please, please, please. Cum inside me.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, his face scrunched up as he watched himself let go into your pussy, his eyes glued to where you were connected while pulsed inside of you with a deep growl. When he pulled out, he quickly lowered himself to the mattress and nestled between your thighs, fucking his spend back into you with his finger while his tongue swiped round and round over your clit until you were begging him to stop. “Too much?”

“For now,” you grinned. “How much longer do we have until we have to get back on the road?”

“I’d say a couple hours,” he replied, sated but a hint of mischief in his voice. “We could always try out that new bath.”

“God, I love you.” You pulled him up and kissed deeply. “So glad you showed up to that parent teacher conference.”

“Thank you for givin’ Sarah and I a family again,” he whispered. “I love you so much, baby. I—gonna get me all choked up. I love you.”

“I love you.”

•

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[blurglesmurfklaine]

OKAY SINCE LITERALLY ONE (☝️) PERSON WHO IS NOT ALEX ASKED! Here are some more Texas!Buddie Thoughts:

When Eddie first joins the 126 (years before Buck arrives in SA) Paul looks at him, turns to TK and says, “Egg.” TK looks confused for a second, then gets it and asks, “Really? Your team or mine?” and Paul really isn’t sure, but DOES know there is a certain Queer Air about Eddie Diaz

I have decided that this is all happening post season seven

I have also decided Buck’s daughter’s name is Alicia, pronounced the Spanish way (Ah-Lee-See-Ah) because her mother is an old flame from Peru

Sometime between seasons 7 and 8, a social worker calls Buck and informs him that he has a biological six year old daughter and he has to choose between accepting his responsibility as her legal guardian or waiving all parental rights. He says “Of course. Yes, I’ll do that” and the social worker says, “Yes to which one?” bc they need a clear confirmation either way but Buck doesn’t realize because it’s not even a question, he has a DAUGHTER of course he’ll take her

Buck absolutely falls in love with this little girl from the get go. He’s wrapped around her pretty little finger like a blue ribbon babeyyyy!! He would move heaven and earth for this child! Go to hell and back!

He, however, isn’t the only one. Because after she’s living with him for about six weeks, Buck gets served with papers. Alicia’s grandparents are suing for custody.

Buck can’t bring himself to risk losing this fight. So he moves to San Antonio (where his old flame and her parents migrated to from Peru right before Alicia was born) so Alicia can see her grandparents as often as they want and Buck can still be her legal guardian

When Buck starts at the 126 (yes it’s still the 126 even though it’s set in San Antonio now) it’s sort of the inverse of Under Pressure—the whole house is all “Yeah yeah, Eddie ‘Pretty Boy’ Diaz, we all know you’ve got the calendar in the bag” and because he’s Eddie he’s like “Aw don’t say that, Mateo, at this point it could be anyone’s game!” All humble and shit but then TK spots Buck The New Guy and says “Idk I think Cali over here might give you a run for your money” and Eddie is just like. 🙃 McFuckingScuse Me?

Of course Eddie forgets any and all jealousy/insecurity the SECOND he finds out Buck has a kid

The first time Alicia meets Eddie she is incredibly shy about it, until Eddie hears Buck call Alicia some cute shit like “mi amorcito” (internally Eddie fucking MELTS )and is like “Oh you speak Spanish?” And Alicia’s eyes go bright and she immediately opens up and starts talking Eddie’s ear off in Spanish and loves him on the spot

This is post season seven so Buck knows he’s bi and knows there’s ✨something✨ between him and Eddie, but based on everything he’s learned from the rest of the 126, no one really knows much about his dating life or preferences. A few failed flings with girls, but that’s all he really knows.

The first time Chris and Alicia meet, Alicia assumes Chris knows Spanish because his dad does. She tries talking to him and he’s like ????? She then calls him a No Sabo kid and pledges to teach him better

Alicia loves Bluey. Chris complains when she comes over and puts it on, says he’s too old for little kids shows, but doesn’t make any effort to change it.

There comes a point in Buck and Eddie’s relationship that it’s clear they… well—their kids play together. Buck packs their lunches (since his captain at the 118 turned him into a pretty damned good chef). Eddie walks them to the bus and gives both of them hugs and kisses. Buck and Alicia spend more nights at the Diaz residence on the pull out couch than in their actual apartment. It’s all disgustingly domestic.

It’s not like Buck and Eddie are dating. But they’re also Not Not Dating.

Of course, neither of them are the ones to realize it. Marjan is. She says something along the lines of, “Well, yeah, now that Buck and Diaz are together.” And both of them proceed to freak out like “WOAH WOAH WOAH NOW THAT WE ARE WHAT NOW”

And Marjan is SO confused because, “What? Are you two seriously going to try and pull one over on us? You’re attached at the hip. Even your kids act like siblings.” And then she watches their faces change and realizes, “oh my gosh, you really have no idea do you?”

The rest of the 126 make a BEELINE for the exit when their shift is up, leaving Buck and Eddie alone to discuss.

So they go out, maybe get dinner, go two-stepping because it’s Texas and it’s A Thing. BuckFigure out What They Are. Maybe not all of the questions are answered by the end of it, but they definitely had a great time with one another! Eddie is an absolute gentleman and walks Buck back to his place.

Where Tommy is waiting for him in the front lobby. Because i can do whatever I want ❤️

[ourpreciousthings]

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭

Rating: 18+

Summary: Your neighbour hood best friend invited you to stay at the Millers, what could be so bad about staying with someone you have known since high school? How could a late-night swim change everything?

Word count: 27,807

CW: Dom!Joel, Sub!Reader, Basically Porn, Chocking, daddy!k!ink (if you squint), Pet Names, Praise!k!nk, Degration!kInk, Metions Of Physical@buse, Sir!k!nk, Unprotected P in V (wrap it before you tap it kids), Breeding!k!nk (if you squint), Porn With Mild Plot... Let me know if I forgot anything, thank you all and I love you!

A/N: Some parts feel rushed but I hope you enjoy it overall! P.S. I decided to just make this a oneshot instead of a small shitty seires and I got some people saying that they couldn't find some of them and I think that's for the best for this one.

Pairing: DBF/BSFD!Joel Miller X f!reader (No outbreak) (Joel is 40 and Reader is 21)

“I told you I can go to my aunt's place for the break,” “and I told you my dad insisted, he wouldn’t want you to spend summer break alone,” she cocked her perfectly shaped brow. “Sarah, I have known your dad for the longest time, and I know he wouldn’t. I just don’t want to be a bother,” I huff as the cruel heat of Dallas fills my lungs. “You? A bother? Never, he adores you, maybe a bit too much but I mean he enjoys the company, just make an old man happy,” she tucked a blonde lock behind her ear. “Okay, I mean I guess it’s better than staying with Aunt Marry in San Antonio,” “you got that right,” she scoffed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

Spending summer with a hot Joel Miller, not how I choose to spend my time relaxing. How can I even relax when he is strutting around the house in those tight shirts that stick to his muscular body as a light layer of sweat coats his skin? I down the last of my beer as Sarah stood from the pool. 

“Hey, guess who is coming over?” She asked in a whisper, “well if you’re whispering, I guess your dad won’t like them,” I look up from my tilted shades.

“Just guess,” “who?” “The whole gang,” she hummed to herself. “There is no way everyone is in town by coincidence, you set this up,” I said in more of a statement than a question shifting in my seat. “You would have said no if I told you Mitchy was coming,” I hate when she put aside my feelings to please others, just for her own pleasure at times... “Yeah, no shit Sarah-” 

“Hey girls, there are some boys looking for you” his deep voice drew my eyes from an irritated Sarah. 

“They aren’t my guest now are they?” “It’s okay, I got it,” she hopped up, rushing past Joel “so I take it you didn’t really want to be here huh?” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “No, I mean yes I did, I do. I just didn’t think she would invite people who don’t treat us like people to spend the break with,” I scoff, staring at the pool...

“I can tell them to leave if you want,” he said sitting in the empty chair next to me “god no, she would kill us both for doing that,” “I really am glad you came to stay with us even if Sarah just wants to hang out with other people,” he said with a soft smile that warms my body, shaking it off as I quickly stand.

"You okay?” “Yeah, just need another beer,” I groaned, walking through the sliding doors. I want to say that I wish I had stayed at the dorms, but a small part of me knows I can’t stay away from him.

“Hey, long time no see,” his voice interrupted my thoughts. “Hey Mitchel, yeah, it’s been a long time,” “so I just wanted to say-” “Save it, please I just want to relax and enjoy the Sun,” I held the neck of the beer bottle with a death grip. 

“Hey, I was just trying to be nice,” he held his hands up in defence.

“Why are you even here, Mitch?” I scoff, tilting my head. “Sarah invited me, and last time I remembered this is her house, not yours, but Sarah is the one who sent me over here, so if you want to be mad, be mad at her,” he scoffed, turning on his heels.

The thought of Sarah doing this to you again hurt, but not as much as the reminder that you have no place here.

“So you and Mitchel, huh?” His eyes piercing through me as if he knew what set me off. “What?” “I saw you and Wright's boy talkin’ so I thought you know, y’all were a thing,” was it the beer or could you see a small glint of jealousy in his eyes? No, it couldn’t be, he is too good for you.

“No, Sarah might have said that, but we are not a thing,” I plopped myself down on to my now warm tanning chair. “Oh,” is all he said before standing and walking away. 

-

The sun had set hours ago, but the heat hasn’t let up. The water of the pool shining through my window catches my eye, the thought of swimming sounds so perfect right now. I slowly open the door to keep the quiet night at bay, I leave my door ajar as I see a small light from Joel’s tv shining from under his door.

It was easy to sneak past the doors and through the quiet house to the sliding doors that led to the pool that had been calling my name. I quickly discard my small shorts and crop v-neck, slowly stepping into the water, letting out a soft groan at the cooling water around my heated skin.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

A swift movement caught my attention as I sank deeper into the water, I scanned my window slowly, moving over to the window next to it.

Joel’s window. And boy was that a sight to see, he was jerking off. He was pounding into his hand as his head was thrown back and mouth agape...

Without thinking, my hand snaked down my body to the waistband of my panties. The sight was so beautiful. I wonder what he sounded like, what he tasted like, how he would feel on my tongue...

Fuck, I wonder what he looks like coming undone. As if he could hear my thoughts, he turned more to the window, shooting his load in three long ropes. His head hanging low as he clenched his fist on his beautiful body.

I lowly moan, dragging my finger over my sensitive bud, drawing fast circles. My release begging to crash through my body.

"Fuck..” I gasp, resting my head on the side of the pool “fuck me,” I shudder, eyes rolling to the back of my head as the thought of his strong hands running over my body, owning my body, making me cum in so many ways that I have never even thought of “shit,” I cried out, orgasm taking over.

I ride out my high slowly, opening my eyes, seeing a small shadow where Joel had stood now closer to the window...

Shit. Shit. Shit.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

Rushing out of the pool, collecting my clothes, and quickly drying myself off. Scurrying up the stairs as quietly as I can to avoid talking to Joel, who I watched jerk off, who I came undone to at the thought of his hands on me...

I close the door just in time, hearing his door across the hall open slightly, mumbling something as he shut it once again... I. Am. Screwed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The bright sun shining through the window, beaming onto my face makes me groan, rolling over onto my stomach. “Shit.” The clock on the nightstand reminded me that I have to face the man of my dreams and now nightmares...

I drag myself down the stairs, groaning at the smell of sweetness coming from the kitchen. “Hey, dad left for work already so I thought I would make us some breakfast before meeting up with the guys” “the guy’s?” “Yeah... Zoe, Carter, and Mitchel,” she said so calmly, flipping the pancake. 

“No, I am not going. My plan is to unwind and have some peace and quiet. I will not find that spending my precious time with my ex and the one he cheated on me with!” I slam my fist on the kitchen table. 

“look, I am sorry-” “No you’re not, just go have fun. I’ll be fine by myself,” I huff, taking a beer from the fridge “I always am,” I muttered in search of the bottle opener.

-

Three beers in I decided to let my feeling get in the way... Having felt bad for drinking almost all of Joel’s cold beverages, I have found myself in a quiet bar and it isn’t even 4 PM...

“Look darlin’, you can keep drinking or go home but you can’t stay here,” he said with a thicker southern accent “I thought I was your favorite customer Sean,” “you are, because you know your limit and I think you are trying to get passed that right now but I can’t have you drinking and driving sweetness,” he laughed throwing a towel on his shoulder. “Lucky for you I’m walking,” I give a half-hearted smile.

“Fine drink up, we close in 40 minutes after that I will drop you off at home,” “hmm not home, the Millers,” “the Millers? You’re stayin’ at the Millers?” “Yeah, Sarah wanted me to stay,” “you’re still friends with that kid?” “Just because I am a year older than her doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with her,” “that’s not what I mean-” “I know what you mean and we are not gonna talk about it,” I bark at him “yes ma’am,” he scoffed backing away.

-

“Okay, pack it up we are out of here,” he said handing me a bottle of water “thank you Sean,” “no need to thank me darlin’, I am here for you and you know that,” he said locking the door. “So does your dad know you’re stayin’ there?” “Sean,” I gave a warning glare “hey I’m just askin’,” “no, he doesn’t and he doesn’t know what happened either so just don’t Sean,” “wow, that’s a lot to keep darlin’,” “yeah you get used to it I guess,” “hey I have known you for your whole life, things like this never happened to you and now you are suddenly so calm and collected. Damn collage really does change you, the 18-year-old you would have raised hell, and I would have loved every second of it,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around me.

The ride is silent, but it feels right. “I hate drinking,” I stare out the window, leaning my head back. “Why?” “It allows my brain to think about things I choose to keep hidden in the back of my mind,” like the fact that I have a hot man across the hall from me and he also caught me watching him come undone. The thought of last night made me cringe.

“Okay, let’s take your mind off of that, how is Dallas? How’s school?” “School is great, umm nothing much there. Dallas I love it, it’s fun and crazy.” 

“Any boyfriend?” “no, no boyfriend,” I scoff, “really?” He made quick glances my way. I searched his face, expecting any sign of mockery, there is none... 

“Yes really, those kids aren’t for me,” “kids? You’re a kid honey,” he laughed “yeah don’t remind me,” “why do you say that?” “I feel much older than I am, like I hang out with all these kids and all they want to do is party and know who is fucking who? And I just-” 

“Want to be alone with some quiet time?” “Yes! And they can even wrap their heads around that,” “look, just don’t worry about it you will have your whole life to be alone with your thoughts,” “no, peace and quiet, my thoughts are not quiet,” I shake my head laughing.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The car ride is something I needed. To talk to someone who isn’t so self absorbed, so clingy, so Sarah...

“Thank you Sean, I mean it,” “you never have to thank me dear, I enjoyed talkin’ to you,” he said unfastening his seat belt “what are you doing?” “What does it look like I’m doin’? I am goin’ to walk you to the door silly,” he laughed, hopping out the truck.

“Hey, I am here if you ever need me, hell if you ever want to stop by Austin, you know where to find me,” he said before kissing my cheek... Shit, heart don’t do that- and before my brain can process what is going on my body swiftly attaches itself to his.

Catching his lips with mine. “No, we can’t you have been drinkin’,” “I am sober enough Sean,” I gasp feeling his hardening length on my thigh “fuck what are you doin’ to me?” He groaned pushing me through the door. 

“Kissing you,” I say breathlessly, moving to pin his arms above his head, “fuck,” he hissed as I dragged my lips down his neck to his exposed collarbone.

“What the fuck is going on here?” The sound of his heavy boots bounced off the walls, making my heart race. Pushing off of Sean, I fixed my shirt.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t see your truck out there,” “I sent Sarah to go look for you, now again, what is going on here?” He asked with a stern tone, his cocked eyebrow says he wasn’t asking me to tell him.

He was demanding me to tell him why I am in his house with a man I’m pretty sure he has warned me about…

“Hey Joel,” “Sean, I think it’s best if you leave,” “he is my guest Joel, don’t be rude-” 

“Are you drunk?” He spat, taking a step closer.

“That is not the point here and I’m not that drunk, I am fine.” “You knew she was drinking and yet you still came here with her?” 

“Well-” 

“He was giving me a ride home because your daughter took off with her little friends, so I went walking to the bar and he gave me a ride Joel this is all on me not him,” I said making him huff.

“Come on Sean, I’ll walk you out,” I put my hand on his wrist pulling him towards me. Closing the door with a sigh. 

“Sorry about that-” “Look I know we had something going on back then and I would love to act on it but I have known that man for most of my life and judging by the look that he just gave me tells me that I shouldn’t even be speaking to you right now,” he scratched his beard. “I really am sorry.” “Me too, but if you ever need a friend, you know where to find me,” he placed a kiss on my cheek...

Opening the front door with a groan, I kick off my shoes, taking them to the kitchen with me to grab another beer “I don’t think so little miss.” “Oh so are you the beer police now?” “Yeah if it’s my beer you are stealin’,” he chuckled, rolling my eyes at his attempt to make a joke right now. “Hey, I was just playin’,” he softly said, handing me a beer.

“I hate you,” I said with gritted teeth throwing the bottle in the sink, the sound of glass shattering echoing throughout the silent house. “What-” “Fuck you, Joel,” I say as calmly as I can trying to keep my childish outburst at bay. 

“But-” He cut himself off, stepping closer.

“Just stop,” I held up my hand taking a step back “I don’t want to talk to you, or see you, or your ass of a daughter. I just need to be alone,” I rush off to the stairs hoping he won’t follow because I know if he tries to stop me I won’t hesitate to rush into his big strong arms... The words I never thought I would say come flying back to my mind as I slide down my closed door ‘I hate you’...

   Joel

“Shit,” I groaned as I fished for my phone that was ringing in my right pocket. “Hello?” “Hey, Dad are you on your way home?” “Yeah, I just left the site about 15 minutes ago why do you girls need me to pick somethin’ up for y’all?” “That’s the thing Dad, she’s not here...” “Not there what do you mean? You were with her all day, weren’t you?” “No, I have a life you know?” She scoffed.

Of course, she left her, once again turning her back to her best and only good friend to do what? Who the hell knows... 

“Okay well, I will be home in a bit, so just stay there Sarah,” hanging up the phone tossing it into the passenger seat. Where the fuck did she go?

Rushing through the door, I see Sarah just sitting there on her phone, such a great friend. “Any sign of her?” “No, she’s not even answering her phone,” she rolled her eyes “okay her are my keys, take the truck and look at any of the places that you think she would be in,” I ordered not giving her time to protest.

Checking my phone to see if Sarah got a hold of her, I hear the door crash open; I rush in to see if it was her... It was her touching a boy, touching all over him. I am filling with anger? Is it jealousy? Am I Jealous of her searching his body? The way she leaves soft kisses down his jaw and neck- oh how soft her plump lips look- that should be me with her lips all over me. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” “What are you doing here? I didn’t see your truck out there,” “yeah, I sent Sarah to go look for you, now again, what is going on here?” I demanded an answer from this. “Sean, I think it’s best if you leave,” I shifted my gaze to him, cocking a brow. “He is my guest Joel, don’t be rude,” she said with a small slur. “Are you drunk?” I can feel my palm twitch.

“That is not the point here and I’m not that drunk, I am fine,” “you knew she was drinking and yet you still came here with her?” I clenched my jaw rage falling through me. “Well-” “He was giving me a ride home because your daughter took off with her little friends, so I went walking to the bar and he gave me a ride Joel this is all on me not him,” I huffed at her words, yeah right.

She walked him out. I bet he’s touching her right now... I hear her groan as she passed through the living room, “I don’t think so little miss,” I said blocking the fridge. “Oh, so are you the beer police now?” “Yeah if it’s my beer you are stealin’,” she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, I was just playin’,” I softly said handing her a beer. “I hate you,” she said with gritted teeth throwing the bottle in the sink, “what-” “fuck you, Joel,” she said in a calm tone that sent chills down my spine. “But-” I can’t even think of words as I took a step closer. "Just stop,” she held up her hand taking a step away from me “I don’t want to talk to you, or see you, or your ass of a daughter. I just need to be alone,” she said before running off...

‘I hate you’ it rang through my ears as my heart shattered at her words... What just happened? How did I fuck this up? I am supposed to be here for her and yet I am just fucking everything up.

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The front door closed softly, bringing me back from my deep thoughts. “I can’t find her anywhere, did she show up?” “Why doesn’t she want to see you? Why is she mad at you?” “So she is here? What did she tell you now?” She crossed her arms. “Nothing actually, she just said that she didn’t want to talk or see me and you, I know what I did to piss her off, so what did you do?” I matched her crossed arms. 

“Nothing Dad, she is just dramatic that’s all,” she said pushing past me. “Why is there glass in the sink?” “Because she was mad, you know she only gets like that when she is really hurt,” I tilted my head. “No, she gets like that when she is drunk, like I said she’s dramatic,” she huffed. “I don’t see her being dramatic, I see her hurt and her best friend wasn’t even with her today, why is that?” 

“She told me to go, so I went. I wasn’t gonna stay here and baby her.” “Wow Sarah, I didn’t raise you like that, she is your friend and you take care of her no matter what!” “Okay Dad, yeah I am just supposed to babysit her yeah,” she scoffed. 

“She does it for you all the time!” “Oh yeah like when Dad?” “When y’all would come over and she had a date or something with her other friends and family she would cancel so she could be your wingman, designated driver when you were sick!” I yell in a whisper.

“So?” “So? So you be there for her,” “fine I’ll go talk to her-” “no you won’t, she needs space, so give it to her,” “whatever dude,” she huffed turning on her heels “young lady! Dude?” “Sorry jeez, I’m sorry dad,” “I am done talkin’ to you, go to your room,” “planin’ on it,” she gave a fake smile.

Reader

The yelling has stopped. Sun has set. My heart still aching... I wish I had stayed at the dorms. I need a drink... I slip through the hall and down the stairs in a slow pace not paying attention to anything on the way to the kitchen “can’t sleep either?” His low voice startling me “shit, I didn’t see you there,” I gasped walking to the fridge. 

“I am sorry for earlier, and I’m sorry about Sarah,” he sat with his hands clasped around the neck of the bottle, head hanging low. “Yeah, you get used to it,” I say looking for that damn bottle opener.

“Did she tell you anything?” “Nope, just a lot of bullshit. She called me dude, that is not the girl I raised,” he sadly said before downing the rest of his beer. “Well, I guess I will be out of your hair then, I know you didn’t want to see let alone speak to me-” “I am sorry for acting that way, I only get like that when I’m drunk,” the lie rolls off of my tongue so easily it doesn’t even hurt anymore. 

“I have known you since 10th grade and I have seen you like that many times, and this is the first time I have seen you like this drunk... You are calmer drunk.” A small chuckle hummed from his chest. “thanks-” “Please let me in, let me help,” he said in broken words. “You can’t,” I sighed hopping onto the counter.

“I have tried to be strong, and happy. I can talk my way out of so many situations, but there are some things I can’t always get myself out of.” “Like what?” He took my beer opening it for me. “Thank you, Joel can I ask you something?” “Yeah, anything,” “Ugh I hate this,” I groaned hanging my head.

“Why do guys suck?” “I’m sorry?” His shocked expression brought a sad smile to my face “I can’t talk about this with anyone else, but you are here, and you always listen to me. You always make the right decision.” “Okay, continue.” “Why are guys so, stupid?” “Stupid how? Like IQ-wise? Vocabulary wise? In-” “Mitchel cheated on me,” I interrupted Joel as his face dropped from a sad smile to a mixture of disbelief and anger. 

“What?” “He slept with one of our friends, and I ended it. I am strong and I let things go, I pay no mind to things anymore... But I’m not strong, I’m not fine, I am tired. I am tired of everything,” I choke out the last part letting a tear fall.

He stood in front of me catching the tears that I let go. It has been too long since I have allowed myself to show others how fragile I really am... With Joel I never felt like I had to put up a front, he always cared. He’d listen all night if he had to, I would talk his ear off as I kept watch over Sarah after she did a little too much coke when she was 18.

I would return the favor when his dates were shitty, and he just needed someone to talk to late at night... No one would ever know that sometimes we would call each other when I was away at school and it was late at night and we just needed to talk.

“Why did you stop callin’?” He lifted my chin so that I would actually look at him “why didn’t you call and tell me?” “I was scared,” I laughed at the small sniffle I made “of what?” “Of losing my best friend,” “Oh honey Sarah would-” “not her, you, I was scared of losing you Joel,” “and why would you be scared of losing me?” His voice so soft and caring, it makes my heart swell.

“Because you are the only one I can actually be myself with, and I know I haven’t been treating you that way lately but I mean so much shit is going through my mind lately I can’t think with you here” the words spill out of my mouth before I can catch them. I slowly shut my eyes waiting for his disgusted response...

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“And what am I doing that has your pretty little mind so distracted?” The way he says ‘pretty’ has me pressing my thighs together. Come on, get. A. Grip. “Come on, you can tell me,” his tall frame towering over me, fuck it. It’s either this or tell him everything...

“What has you so worked up?” He said with innocence but his eyes gave him away, pupils were blown wide. “You, and those damn tight shirts,” I scan his body seeing my favorite tight white shirt with his grey sweat pants “I think we should talk about the other night sweetheart,” shit. “Don’t you think?” He tilted his head scanning my face. “What about it?” I say low enough for him to hear.

“You weren’t being very nice, watching me get off” I have to bite my lip to hold back a whimper at the image of him pounding into his fist and head hanging back. “No,” “what was that?” He teased at my low response “I said no, it wasn’t very nice. But when have you ever known me to be a good girl Mr. Miller?” I spread my legs inviting him in.

A low groan escaped his throat “fuck” he hissed as I pulled him in by his waistband. “You have always been a good girl for me, don’t you think so?” He gripped my jaw forcing me to make eye contact, his grip tightening waiting for an answer. “Yes,” I moan out at the feeling of his hard cock pressed against my thigh. 

“Then you won’t have any trouble being a good girl for me tonight will you?” His hand traveled to my throat applying some pressure “fuck, I won’t,” I grind myself on his thick thigh. “Good, now let’s take care of you, pretty girl,” he pulled me closer giving my lips a teasing peck before leaning in for a needy, sloppy kiss that takes my breath away.

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5 Years Ago

"Hey, Dad you home?" I called out as tossing my keys onto the entry table. "Hey honey, we are in the kitchen!" He yelled out. "We?" I asked walking through the living room. "Hey sweetheart, how was school?" "The same old same old," I laughed at the same question he has been asking me for 10 years since we moved to Austin.

"Hey, before you do your homework can you come and taste the food?" "Yeah, just let me set down my bag," I yell from the hallway leading to my room. "Okay honey," he sang from the kitchen.

"Okay Dad, I am here to be your taste tester-" "Ah! Y/n this is Joel. He is my coworker and his daughter is with some friends so I invited him for dinner so the old man won't be alone," he laughed patting his shoulder.

"Hi Joel," I held out my hand as my dad grabbed some beers. "Hi y/n," he shook my hand at a slow pace. He is hot, why do all the hot guys have to be older than me? Wait, he has a daughter? Great, hopefully, I don't have to be forced to like her...

"Okay, now food, taste it please!" He laughed "Hector, your cooking is always good, I love the lunches you bring to work!" "Actually those are y/n's lunches, she always cooks my lunch." "Really?" "Yeah, I mean he raised me I can at least make him food for work," I laughed going to the spice cabinet.

4 Years Ago

"So, he didn't show huh?" "Nope, you know him so well," I scoffed. "Hey I called it, he wasn't any good for you," his tone was so soft, it made my heart swoon. "Yeah, you called it," I sigh curled up on Joel's comfy couch, waiting for my dad to pick me up. "Thank you for -

cooking dinner, and lunch for tomorrow, Sarah is really going to love it," he hummed.

"When am I going to meet this daughter of yours hmm?" "Soon, I think you will really like her." "If you say so Miller," "I told you it's just Joel, I have known you for a while now you can call me Joel," he huffed.

I loved calling him Miller, it always got under his skin because that's what my dad calls him... I love to get under his skin. I love- no not love, like... I like him.

3 Years Ago

"Tell me all about it!" I yelled plopping on his couch. "About what?" "The date, how was she?" "You would hate her!" "Why? Is she better than me?" I joked. "No, not even close to you," he laughed. "Okay so then what gives?" "She was all about her, her, her, and oh yeah, her! She didn't even remember my name till it was time to pay and she wanted to take me home," "ew," "ew is right," he shrugged off his coat.

We were watching a movie when his front door opened. "Dad?" "Sarah, I thought you were staying the night?" "I was going to, but they wanted to watch anything that wasn't scary so that blows," that is his daughter? Damn, I wonder what her mother looked like... No one could ever compete with those looks... "Who is she? I know you like em young but damn dad," "Sarah!" I laughed at his reaction.

"Hi, I'm y/n," "Sarah, so you and my dad huh?" "No, just friends," I laughed. "She is even prettier than you said Dad," she stated sitting in the empty single chair. "You said I'm pretty? Not too bad yourself, Joel," I said tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"You called me Joel," he gasped in fake awe. "Would you prefer me to call you Miller again? Because I will if you want me to," "Joel is just fine," "Get a room you two," "I should go, my dad is waiting for me at home." "Okay let me walk you out," he said following me to the door.

2 Years Ago

"Congratulations!" Joel yelled pulling me into a tight hug. "Thank you," I give a genuinely happy smile to him and his beautiful big brown eyes. "Don't forget to come and visit on the weekends, I mean for you to get away from all of that," "I will don't worry, plus I'm pretty sure Sarah is going to drag me along with her," I smiled toward Sarah who is talking to some of our friends by our Uhaul... I am going to miss Austin but thankfully Dallas isn't far from here.

"Remember, you can call me whenever! I am available at any time of the day," he held on tightly to me. "So you just going to steal my daughter?" My dad asked Joel. "No Hector," he grumbled "he just doesn't have any friends his own age, so he hangs around your daughter who acts like she is 90 with a bad back," Sarah laughed at her own joke and frankly she isn't wrong...

I have been hanging out with Joel since the day I met him. Whether it was because my dad was out of town, or because he wanted a home-cooked meal because Sarah wasn't going to be home, or just simply because we enjoyed each other's company. If he needed someone to talk to about girls, I was the one and it went the same way for me... But it hurt seeing him always so down because all the 'girls' he thought he would like just wanted to use him for sex.

1 Year Ago

"Hey, my dad called to see if you were okay," "he did?" "Why is Mr. Miller calling for you?" Mitchel asked cocking his brow. "Because she didn't answer him or her dad," she shook her head with a mocking expression. "They will be fine without me bothering their lives, just tell him I am fine," I huffed hopping off of my bed.

I haven't been in contact with Joel or my dad since we got back from Austin, 2 months ago... That is very much not like me, but with school, Sarah, and Mitchel... I can never be alone. I miss talking to him, hearing how his day went, who annoyed him... I miss our late-night calls when we would talk all night about nothing, we would call just to talk, to hear each other's voice...

Present Time

I have known this man since I was 16; we told each other almost everything as our friendship grew closer. So I have no idea how I even ended up in this situation...

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Joel, kneeling between my legs kissing his way up my calves. Fuck I never thought having such a powerful man on his knees would be so tempting. "Joel," I whisper running my fingers through his beautiful curls making him look up at me, and damn those eyes. "Yes?" "Please," I don't even know what I am begging for, it just feels right giving up everything to him. He slowly stands to place a kiss on my lips "Let's undress you first hm?" I could only nod at his words.

"Let's start here, on this little shirt that you just love to tease me with," "I- I don't mean to," yes you do. You love to tease this man, he likes to act like he doesn't notice her but you notice when he suddenly leaves the room coming back 20 minutes later in a fresh pair of clothes.

He dropped it with a hiss staring at your bare chest, breast on full display. His gaze is heating your body, maybe a little too much, moving your arm to cover your now-hardening nipples he stops your movements. "Don't cover up, I am just admiring your beautiful body," I have no idea what made me so confident... "You're drooling Joel, and you haven't even seen my pussy," a groan forced itself out from deep in Joel's chest.

"Baby, I don't have to see that pretty cunt of yours to make me drool for you," he rasped cupping my breasts "fuck," I grinned playfully as he attached my breast, sucking and nibbling down my chest. "Fuck, please do that again," I whined arching my back. "What don't your little boys pay enough attention to your beautiful breasts," he kissed the underside of my breast. "Not like that, I knew they wouldn't satisfy me so I always just rushed it with them," I groaned hanging my head back.

"Now that is sad, how could they not appreciate these?" He hissed, cupping my breasts in his large hands, "just like all the other boys, they couldn't give me what I wanted," I sighed. "Ah yes, 'the boys' they could never satisfy a woman like yourself," he hummed stroking my sides. 

"Mm never, it takes a real man to handle all of me and my needs." "Well, I could give you what you need," his voice hoarse as his hand snaked up to my neck. "Oh, you think so Mr. Miller?" "Oh, I know so pretty girl," he whispered into my ear.

"You are so beautiful," he groaned as he slowly trailed down my stomach, hooking his fingers around the waistband of my pajama shorts. "Is this okay, sweetheart?" "More than okay, Joel," I said as he pulled down my shorts and panties in a swift movement.

He backed away, just staring at my nakedness. His gaze makes me self-conscious, so I cover myself. "Don't do that please, I am trying to look at what I missed out on, your body is just breathtaking I could look at you like this every day," he lowered himself to my cunt. He licked a long strip through my folds, sending a shiver up my spine "fuck," I let out a low moan, arching my back.

"Joel, don't stop please," I grind my cunt on his tongue "I wouldn't dream of it my pretty girl," he rasped adding two fingers into me. "Oh my god," I shutter almost cumming on his fingers as he wrapped his beautiful lips around my clit. "You taste so sweet baby," he mumbled bringing his soaked fingers to my lips. I lap my tongue around his hard fingers, sucking them clean "fuck that's it, pretty girl, just like that," his lust-filled voice brings me closer.

"Fuck Joel," I held his wrist as he fastened his pace, his free hand traveling to my throat applying pressure. "Please make me cum Joel," I beg, shutting my eyes. "Oh, baby you don't have to beg me, but I can't say no to those pretty moans," he cooed.

"Come on, I can feel you clenchin' me so tightly," he groaned "cum for me, I want to taste you beautiful," I open my eyes to see his brown eye staring into my soul. "Fuck," I came with a small scream, covering my mouth with my hand. "Yes, just like that. So pretty cummin' on my fingers," he hummed leaving a trail of kisses on my thighs.

"There you go," he said in awe as I slowly rode out my high. "Now where are your manners sugar?" He asked gripping my jaw. "Thank you, Mr. Miller," I said with innocent eyes. "You are going to be the death of me," he hissed grinding his clothed cock into my thigh.

"I can see you thinking, tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours," "I want to taste you, Joel," I bite my lip at the thought of having him all to myself. "Baby you don't have to do that,-" "I want to, I have been wanting to have your cock in my mouth ever since I walked in on you and that blonde bitch," I huffed as I raked my fingers through his hair "oh my baby that was 2 years ago," he said with a fake pout stroking my cheek with his thumb. "Please, Mr. Miller?" "Anything for you beautiful," he let out a breath as he helped me hop off of the counter.

"You are so handsome Joel," I groan playing with the hem of his shirt. "It's always these damn tight shirts, I can never look away," I whisper in his ear "I can tell," he laughed leaning in for a kiss. "Take this off, please."

"Well, since you asked nicely," my thighs pressed together as he shed the layer of clothing. Eyes raking over his upper torso "fuck, I love your body," I bite back a moan as I drag my nails along his burning skin.

I sank between his big thighs looking into his eyes, kissing a trail down his stomach "fuck you are stunning like that," he hissed. "Like what? Naked or between your thighs," I played with his waistband "god both," he huffed out a sigh. "Yes, I am god, the one and only," I smirked looking for approval. He gave me a small nod allowing me to pull down his sweats.

His big cock sprung out hitting his stomach, I smirked at the fact that he wasn't wearing any boxers. I practically drooled at the size of him, "fuck Joel," I gasped, wide-eyed. I mean I saw him from afar so I knew he was big, but damn.

"Look how pretty you are just waiting to have my cock, that pretty mouth just watering at the thought of you choking on me, so deep in your throat," he purred as I wrapped my fist around his thick shaft "mm fuck me," he groaned low and sexy his eyes full of hunger.

"I love the way you moan for me," my tongue lapping at his slit collecting his salty pre cum, watching his eyes roll to the back of his head taking his thick cock into my mouth with slow bobs.

His fingers laced into my hair tugging it, taking control of my movements "fuck just like that baby girl," his words made me still as he bucked his hip deep down my throat. He fucked my mouth hitting the back of my throat with every thrust making my eyes water.

Pulling me off of his cock with a small 'pop' "fuck if you could just see how beautiful you look with my cock in your mouth," he pulled me to him. "Call me that again," I grasped his jaw looking deep into his eyes. "What?" "Baby girl," I said lowly for only us to be heard. "Why? Does my baby girl like that?" I cut him off attaching my mouth to his hungrily. 

"Please fuck me," "we will get there, just give me a minute," he said capturing my lips with his, walking us to the kitchen table. "Please Joel, I'm on the pill." "Darlin'-" "Please I want to feel all of you," I stroked his cock. "Anything for you, sugar," he let out a breath as he sank into me.

"Holy shit," I gripped his shoulder "fuck, I stretched you out, and yet you are still so tight," he exhaled. "Just for you Joel," I laced my fingers in his short locks. "Please Move, Joel," "god I love the way you moan my name," he grunted sliding out of me only to slam back into me.

"Mmm mine," "he growled inching deeper. "Yours," I purred feeling his cock twitch. "Say it again" he moaned wrapping his hand around my throat "I'm yours," I cried out. "Joel, if you don't slow down I will cum too fast," I let out a whine as he didn't slow his pace. His fingers toyed with my clit till I came with a high-pitched moan, covering my mouth with his hand.

"Shh baby girl, we have to be quiet," he whispered in my ear making my eyes roll back. Coming down from my high he wrapped his hand around my throat. "Now what do we say after making you feel good?" "Thank you, Mr. Miller," "fuck," he groaned. "Thank you, sir," I whimper without thinking.

His movements came to a halt. "Say it again." "Thank you for making me cum sir, thank you, Mr. Miller," I cry out bitting onto his shoulder, reaching my third orgasm for the night. "Just like that honey, let me take care of you," he moaned as his thrust got sloppier.

"Cum in me please Joel, I want you to fill me up," my cheeks heat at my choice of words "Such a slut for me, wanting my cum so deep in you huh?" "Yes, I'm your slut," the words felt to right falling from my tongue... His slut. He came with a loud grunt, riding out his high. He sank to his knees, watching his cum drip out of me. He didn't hesitate to clean our mixed juices from my cunt.

"Wait right here," he said before walking out of the kitchen. He came back with some towels and clothes "I brought you one of my shirts because I think it would be better to sleep in," he said kneeling in front of me with a damp towel. He collected our clothes before caring me up the stairs to his room.

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We just lay in his bed for a while, in comfortable silence. "Why did you say you hate me earlier?" There it is, I sigh. "Because you were you," "I was me?" "Yes, I actually like Sean, and we had something after Josh left, and um I don't know seeing him again felt like it could have been something. So I said I hated you because you kicked out a guy that I could have been with. He was actually there for me, unlike every guy I have been with."

"And I wasn't any good?" "You were never available." "How was I never available? You were with me almost every day," he poked at my side. "You have Sarah," I giggle at his childishness. "So? I knew you first, I have known you for so many years before her so you can shove that excuse," he gave a hearty laugh.

It should feel weird talking like this with him... But it's him, it's Joel. We could talk about anything and it would never be weird. "So do you see a future with him?" "Sean? No." "Why not?" "He's great and all but I don't think it would have worked out either way, "why do you say that?" "I think I am a little too insecure for him," I tsk. "How are you 'too insecure for him?" He laughed "I don't know, I just am." "But not for me?" "For you, I am an open book," that is a lie, but he doesn't have to know that...

We have been talking for hours and he is finally in my arms ready to fall into a deep sleep and so am I... I have missed- needed this and I like- love him... Shit; I love Joel Miller.

Joel

I slowly open my eyes to my bright room, the sun shining through. The way she felt with me, it just felt so right to hold her in my arms last night. I see my watch on the nightstand, shit it's 9 in the morning... I turn over to see her and- she's gone. My heart breaks as my hand touches the now cold and empty spot she had laid the night before...

Sulking down the stairs I see Sarah sitting on the couch. "Hey, where is y/n?" "Wow, you never call her by her name, what did she do?" "Nothing have you seen her?" "Nope, she left early this morning," she huffed. She left? Saying nothing? She left me?

Reader

The moonlight danced around in his room. My heart swelled at the scene that had taken place, his large arms trapping me between them. I saw his watch on his nightstand, 5:30 in the morning... I need a shower, and I could make him some breakfast, I smile to myself.

I walk to my room with a towel wrapped around my body when I hear a door open. "What did you tell him?" She barked. "What?" "What did you tell my dad? He is pissed with me because you told him something," "I didn't tell him anything, so you're fine just go back to your room," I spat turning towards my door. "I don't believe you!" "You are so full of yourself!" "Oh, am I now?" "Sarah, what do you want? I need to get dressed," I said opening my door.

"Why so you can go meet with your alcoholic boyfriend?" "No, so I can go make some breakfast-" "For who?" "Me, your dad, maybe even you if you stop with this childishness!" "Why are you making my dad breakfast?" "Because I always do, you know he can't cook," "he can, and we have been here for 3 weeks and I haven't seen you cook for him once," she crossed her arms.

"Because I just wanted some space, okay? And now I just want to make it up to him with food, so I can say 'I'm sorry.' Is that what you wanted to hear?" I scoffed "I knew I should have never invited you, but he wanted you here, not me! So you can go die in a ditch somewhere because when we get back I am switching dorms!" She yelled down the hall...

My heart broke, not because she once again proved that she doesn't see me as a friend but because I want to be here, but I can't... I don't know why I keep telling myself that I have someplace here just because I spent almost every day here since I met him. I will never have a place here... Not with him, not in this house that kind of raised me...

-

A small bag is packed, the morning sun just rising... "Hey, thank you for picking me up," "is everything okay?" "Yeah, I just needed some space from that house," I sigh turning my head in his direction. "Her or him?" "Both." "You know you can talk to me, I am all ears," "I know Sean, but just kinda wanna go to sleep." "Okay, well I will drop you off at the house and you can get some rest," "that sounds nice," I say more to myself than him...

"Hey, we are here," he said lightly shaking me awake "I'm up," I moved my hand to his. "You say that but your eyes are still closed," he laughed. "I will be back in just a few hours to check up on you, um I have some records if you want to play some music while you sleep." "Ah, you remembered?" "How can I forget? You would constantly steal all of my CDs, so I have some of your favorites in there, you know where your spare key is, do what you have to do," he said softly.

"Thank you, really-" "Stop with the sad 'thank you’s, I have always told you, I would be here for you so I am gonna keep that word... I am not going to let some silly guy get in the way of that," he laughed "yeah okay," I gave a small laugh. "Go and get some sleep dear," he said unbuckling my seatbelt. "Okay, I will see you in a bit," "Yes you will, and I will stop by your favorite Chinese place on the way back." "That would be nice," I said hopping out of his truck, grabbing my small bag.

It's almost sad to say that I missed this place too, if I wasn't at Joel's house I was here... Tossing my key onto the small coffee table I scan the small living room, just as I remembered it. I kick off my shoes making my way to his bedroom, the bedroom I have spent many nights in... I am utterly fucked up.

-

I haven't moved from the small ball I have curled myself into. Slowly opening my eyes, I see the clock on his desk in front of the bed it's 3:19PM. I snuggle my head into my arm before hearing the door unlock from the hall.

"You awake?" He called out slowly pushing open the door to his room. "Yeah, I just woke up," I said finally stretching my body, "you still sleep the same when you're upset," "I do?" "Yes, that silly little ball you make yourself so you feel protected till someone comes and cuddles with you," he laughed removing his shoes and denim jacket. "You know me so well," "I do, and that's why I brought myself and Chinese," he held a brown bag.

We ate in bed and just lay there, talking and listening to music... "So you gonna tell me what happened?" He asked playing with my hair "Sarah said that I can go die in a ditch because basically, she doesn't believe the fact that I cook for Joel," "Okay, I some context for that please," "I slept with Joel, and I wanted to make him some breakfast as an apology for yelling at him and throwing some shit," "oh you still do that too?" He joked.

"Anyway, I wanted to make him some food, but I wanted to shower first so I did, then she stopped me in the hall yelling at me because she thinks I told Joel about what happened," I scoffed. "Just tell him, you have to stop covering for her," "I can't," "and why is that?" "Because I will lose him if I do."

"Why do you say that?" "He will choose her over me, and I don't want to make him, so I just suffer in silence." "That is bullshit! You need to tell him," "I won't." "This is why your thoughts are killing you, you need to get this shit off of your chest," he said slowly pulling me in close. "Everyone will hate me," I said into his chest.

"Are you the one who-" "Sean, stop," I gave a warning glare. "Look I love you and you know that, do you love him?" "I- I don't know," I hesitated. "Do you love him?" "Yes, I do." "Does he love you?" "No, I don't think so, I mean I don't know." "You don't think so?" "What?" "I'm just sayin', who can't love you?" "A lot of people, I am annoying," "No you're not, he was a dick. He made you stop talking to everyone in town, you stopped calling your dad, Joel, me... People needed you and you just stopped talking to them."

"No one needed me," I laughed. "I did," he said looking into my eyes. "I missed my friend," "god why do I do that?" "What?" "I always make friends with older people when all I can do is act like a kid," I cover my face with my hand at the stupid question. "You have a right to feel like that when I get hurt like you did I act out I mean you have seen me at my worst."

"Yes, and it was a pain," "I remember puking everywhere," "and I had to chase you with a bucket because you refused to puke in the toilet," I let out a sad laugh. "Yeah, I was a complicated drunk," he laughed "I love your laugh, I missed it," I said giving him a soft and sad hug. "I miss yours too, I miss the little look you would give me when you were up to somethin', tryin' to hide it from me," "me too..."

"He really fucked you up huh?" "Yeah, it took me a while to find this part of myself, that's when I stopped calling... I didn't see the world or anything the same way anymore," "I get it," "I mean I just wanted to stop the whole world, to stop my thoughts but with the two of them I couldn't think because they were always there. I couldn't call you or Joel because they were right there, and I needed someone," I let out a sob.

"Hey, well you're here now. I've got you now," he pulled me onto him. "You know he is going to kill me if he finds out that you are here right?" He asked looking down to see my tear-stained face "he will be fine." "No, he won't and you know that," "I wish I had stayed at the dorms."

"Oh, you don't mean that." "Actually, I think I do, I mean if I had stayed I wouldn't have any time to ruin anything..." "You haven't ruined anything, the truth is just slowly coming out, you are not doing anything wrong," he placed a soft kiss on my head.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

There was a soft knock on the door... "Hey it's probably my neighbor telling me she's leaving for the night, can you get it and get the key from her? I am only gonna be a few more minutes," he called out from the shower. "Okay," I said dragging myself off of the bed.

A knock came again as I reached for the doorknob. Opening it with a smile "Hey Sean I know I was rude the other-" "J- Joel? What are you doing here?" My smile dropped... "What are you doing here?" Anger falling on his face mixed with sadness... "Why are you at Sean's place?" "I needed somewhere to stay, I needed space," I said moving closer to the door.

"Hey honey, what's goin' on out there? Did she leave you the key- shit," he whispered fixing the towel around his waist. "Why is she here with you?" "She needed a place to stay till she gets a plane back to Dallas," he pulled me back to him a bit seeing Joel come closer.

"You're leaving? And you didn't care to tell me?" "Tell him, dear." "No, just go back to the room Sean, I will be there in a minute," I said pushing him back. "Okay, just let me know if you need anything," "I will, now please go," I plea before he gave Joel a quick glance walking backward...

"You needed space? So you came to him?" "I had no one else to call." "You could have talked to me," "I can't talk to you about this!" "About what? Is it the Sarah thing?" "No, it's not." "Then what is it?" "Joel, just go home... I will be by to pick up the rest of my things in a few days," I hold back tears...

"Why are you doing this?" "I don't want to be a bother here." "And who said you were a bother?" "No one, I just- I don't want to talk about this anymore..." "So that's it? You don't want to talk so you just leave?" "I want to talk, but I can't," I let out a small cry.

"Why? Talk to me, right now, I can handle whatever it is!" "Go home, Joel! I don't want to see you anymore!" I choke out. "Is everything okay out here?" Sean asked coming closer to the door. "Why didn't you tell me she was here? I asked you at the bar if you had seen her, I came here to apologize and then I see this? You with her?"

"We are not sleeping together, I am her friend so I was here for her." "She has other friends." "No, she doesn't-" "Sean! Stop, both of you just stop... Go home, Joel, I will be by soon to get my things and to leave my keys, so you don't have to wait on me," I said walking away from the door.

"Go home Joel, she needs space, and I think this is something she needs to work out by herself," I heard Sean say before the door closed...

"Okay, I don't care what you want, we are going to talk about this because you bottling up your feelings? It's a no for me." He said walking into his room. "Sean, I love you but we are not talking. I need to book a plane, go get my things, and try to avoid everything in my life," I curled myself into a small ball. "Hey, none of that, come here," he gestured towards him.

"Let me drive you, it's only a few hours with traffic," his soft tone pulls me into him. "I am not letting you drive me to school." "Okay then let your dad-" "No, he won't drive me, you won't drive me, I don't want anyone driving me! I will take a short plane ride," I spat. "Hey, I was just suggesting," "I know, I'm sorry," I said sitting up from his embrace.

"School doesn't start for a few more weeks, why don't you stay here for a couple of days?" "Thank you, Sean, but-" "If you tell me you don't want to be a bother I will spank you," he said with a smirk, holding my hand. "Ooh, kinky," I laughed hopping off of the bed. "Sometimes I wish we could go back," he said with a sad smile...

"Why? Why do you want that?" "Because you weren't taken, you were happier than ever! And I had you to myself and I could touch you whenever I wanted to," he said walking towards me. "And who said I was taken?" I give him a small smirk. "Don't do that to him." "Don't do what to him?" "Don't betray him like that, he is a good man," "I am not betraying him," I scoff turning from him.

"We had sex, good sex... That doesn't mean I was asking for a relationship," "I wasn't saying that-" "Well it sure sounded like it-" "Hey, don't twist my words, I am trying to look out for you," he followed me down the hall, "you're trying to look out for me? Sean I don't need anyone to look out for me," I stopped in my tracks turning to him.

"Yeah because it has been going so well for you lately," "Wow, thanks... Um yeah okay, I am just gonna go for a bit," I said pushing past him. "What are you doing?" "Getting my shoes, I am going out so don't wait up for me-"

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean it like that come on," "Sean I don't care how you meant it, I just need to go out, you're fine." "We were together for quite some time so I know when you say 'you're fine,' it means you secretly want me dead," "Sean, look I just need time to myself."

"Fine, then I'll leave, I know you need a drink. I have beer, whisky, and whatever you want... I just don't want you drinking out there today," he stopped me again. "You know what? How about we just put on some music and go to sleep?" I sigh in defeat, not that I even put up a strong fight...

"I am fine with that, I'll take the couch-" "Sean you make it seem like we can't sleep in the same bed." "It's just that-" "I have slept with you as a friend, a girlfriend, and an ex... I think we can do this," I huff dragging him to his room... Let's get this night over with.

Joel

He just closed the door in my face... I came here to see him, to apologize to him. This is the thanks I get? Her with him? The rage fills me as I storm to my truck. Speeding home was easy. I slam open the front door.

"Dad, what is wrong with you?" "What is he doing here?" "Who? Mitchy?" "Yes, that boy," "I was here to see my girlfriend, sir." "Don't 'sir' me, I know you two broke up!" "Well I don't know if she told you but we are getting back together," he said with a stupid smirk that I just want to slap right off of his face.

"No, you won't! You won't go anywhere near her! Now get the fuck out of my house!" I yell, seeing red... "What the hell is wrong with you?" Sarah yelled as that boy stormed out the front door. "Why is he here?" "Because I invited him, he is a friend of mine whether you like it or not!" "You need to tell me what happened between you and y/n! Right now!"

"What about her?" "Why is she pissed at you?" "What?" "Why. Is. She. Pissed. At. You!" I yell with gritted teeth "I don't know! You know her, she's crazy like that!" "I have known her since she was 16, I know her all right! This isn't her!" "Well, she has been like this for the past year or so, I guess you don't know her as well as I do!" "You don't know shit about her!"

"Dad, don't you think It's weird that you were her friend when she was a kid?" "No, because you were the same way, now I demand an answer from you right now! What is it that you both aren't telling me!" "She is fucking crazy dad, don't listen to anything she says!" She yelled, walking to the staircase.

"Sarah! Don't you dare walk away from me," I lowered my voice to calm myself... "No, fuck her dad! She is the bad friend here! Not me!" She yelled, storming up the stairs. "Fucking shit!" I yelled, throwing a bottle that was sitting on the counter. "fuck," I said to myself, sliding down the wall. What the hell am I going to do? What the fuck is going on here?

Reader

There was a knock on the door... I slowly open my eyes seeing the moonlight dance around Sean's room. The clock on his dresser said it was 3 in the morning. Who is knocking at 3 in the morning? "You okay?" He asked holding me close still half asleep not aware of the faint knocking coming from the living room. "Yeah, I am just going to get some water, I'll be right back," I said crawling out from under the covers. "Okay," is all he said before turning over.

The knocking continues as I reach the door "shit, fucking answer," he said before knocking again. I know that voice... "What are you doing here?" I yell in a whisper as I swung open the door. "What are you doing here? I had to hear from so many others that you were back in town." "Yeah well, I didn't think I had to tell you," "I am your father, I have a right to know!" He raised his voice.

"Keep it down, people are sleeping right now, I was sleeping. Why are you here at 3 in the morning?" "Because I needed to know why you didn't come and see me when you got in town," "because you don't need to know everything in my life," "I have the right to know!" "Don't you think I had the right to know! You just kept it to yourself all this time, and when I find out you tell me 'it's fine' and to 'get over it.' I am done with you, I have told you that many times... You are no longer my father."

"How dare you talk to me like that!" "Shut up!" Is all I get out before his hand connected with my cheek. "Fucking leave! You are not welcomed here, you never were!" I yell, holding my face, letting tears of anger fall.

"What is all the yelling about?" Sean rushed to the door. "Hector? What are you doing here?" "I am here to talk to my daughter so you can just go-" "Well, this is my place, so no I won't 'just go' but thanks for the suggestion," he pulled me closer to him. "What happened?" He held me searching my tear-stained face. "He slapped me," I said through gritted teeth.

"You did what? Hector? Why would you do that?" "Because she is being disrespectful!" "Keep it down, I have neighbors. Come in and we can talk about it-" "No, he won't be coming in!" "What's wrong Dear?" "I don't want to talk about it," "Y/n, you have to tell me," "he is the one that allowed it, everything... He knew, and he decided that I wouldn't care so he kept it from me for months!" "What?" "That's why I didn't want him to know I was in town, that's why- I- Just get rid of him please," I said walking back into the house.

He gripped my arm. "Let go of me!" "No, you will listen to me, Joel said that you were here-" "Joel? Joel told you that I was here?" "Yes, since he is a better friend than you Sean," "I am a damn good friend, you Hector, on the other hand... I can't say the same for you," he said snatching my arm from his tight grip.

"Hector, you need to leave," "Sean, come on, that is my daughter-" "She is an adult, and she can make her own decisions... She doesn't want to be with you, now leave before I call the cops," he said pulling us further into the house. "You can't do this!" "I can actually, and I will. Just go home, and forget I ever existed... Like you always did," "I never did that!" He huffed clenching his fists.

"Yes, you did! I practically grew up by myself alongside Joel because you were never home! And you can't say you ever sent money unless it was for your benefit. The money you gave Joel for watching me and the house he gave to me because you never sent me money for school, clothes, food, or the bills!" "I paid for all of that while I was away!"

"No, you didn't Joel helped me get a job because I had to pay most of the bills," I threw my arms up in frustration. "How dare you say that! I was there for every important moment of your life!" "No, you weren't! You were never there for me! I grew up without you!" I spat walking away from this conversation...

Sean came walking into the room with his head hung low making me sit up "he's gone, you can lay back down," he sighed sitting on the edge of the bed. "Thank you, I didn't mean for it to turn into a yelling match." "Well, I mean it's Hector and you are well, you. So I mean it was bound to happen," he gave a laugh. "Thanks," I threw a pillow at him. "Come on, let's get you a bath," he held his hand out. "Okay," I said letting him lead the way.

I undress as he adjusts the water for me. "Thank you again," I said getting into the tub. "Yeah, I mean you deserve some 'me time' so I thought it would be nice to have a nice soak," he cleared his throat. "I'm going to get you some clothes and a towel." "Okay," is all I said before relaxing in the warm water.

Sean is seated on the floor next to the tub. "So, he knew everything huh?" "Yeah..." "So you lied to me?" "Yup," I said sinking into the bubbles. "Hey, stop with the self-pity, I get it, I do. But you gotta do something about it." "Why? I can just go back to school and forget that anything ever happened," I said with a sad laugh. "No, you are going to overthink everything you 'did' and have a mental breakdown." "That is very true." "So how do you feel about Joel telling him?"

"Well, he didn't know we weren't on speaking terms." "Yeah, but he does know you were never close to your dad, so kind of a dick move," "I mean, kinda yeah." "Please let me drive you," "to campus?" "Yeah, I don't want you to be alone going back," he said with his pretty puppy eyes.

"Okay, but today we are going to spend the day in bed, then tomorrow I'm gonna go get my things while Joel's at work," I leaned my head on the side of the tub enjoying the water. "Cold, I like it," he laughed. "Oh, shut up before I splash you!" I blow suds at him. "Okay, you get dried off. I am going to make us some food and we can watch some tv," he said, handing me a towel.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

We spent all of yesterday laying on the couch watching movies, talking, and sleeping... And I am a man of my word... I have to go get my things from Joel's house. It is 9 in the morning... "Sean?" I call out from the kitchen, "Yeah?" "Hey, I'm about to head out." "Okay, I'll drop you off-" "You really don't have to," "but I want to, plus it's on the way to the bar," he said, buttoning his shirt as he rushed into the kitchen.

"The bar?" "Yeah, Kyle was supposed to open for me but he called and bailed so I have to do it," he huffed, pouring his coffee. "That sucks." "You bet your ass it does," he groaned. "Okay, well, let's head out so you can get there in time." "Alright, let's go," he grumbled, grabbing his denim jacket.

The car ride is quiet, I don't really expect him to say anything... And I appreciate his silent concern. "Just call me when you're done so I can pick you up," "I will, thank you," I hopped out of his truck. "Well, I should get to the bar, be safe," "I am just getting my things Sean, I'm not leaving just yet," I laughed.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

The house is quiet; it feels colder than I remember. Leaving my main key and spear key on the kitchen table, I see a note on the fridge 'Hey Dad, since you can't stop acting like a child I will stay at Mitchel's for the weekend.' The date on the corner of the pad shows she had written it the day after Joel showed up... What the hell is going on over here?

Walking up the stairs, I hear shuffling from the living room. "I thought I locked you?" His voice bounced off the walls. Shit... I pick up my pace, trying to climb the stairs quickly but not trying to bring attention to my presence...

Trying my best to open the door as quietly as I possibly can was a success. Now closing it is the challenge... Once I closed the door, I began packing my suitcase. Shoving clothes from the drawers into my suitcase. Collecting some of my other belongings, sorting through the things I want to take with me... Joel's shirt... I came across his shirt as I rummaged through my stuff. I should take it to his room once I no longer hear his footsteps I can sneak it into his room. Not the best idea, but hey what do I have to lose?

After 5 minutes of waiting, the house was quiet again. I open the door to peek out; the coast is clear. I turn to get my suitcases, and as I turn back there he was... Out of thin air...

"What are you doing here?" He asked, wide-eyed. "What are you doing here? You are supposed to be at work," "I needed some stuff from my garage, then I needed something from my room, now what are you doing here?" "I told you I was coming to get my things, I was going to wait till you left but I was going to take your shirt to your room..." I trailed off, seeing his brows furrow.

"So you are leaving then huh?" "Yeah, I saw that Sarah hasn't been here, what happened there?" "Whatever happened between you is your business. But she blames it all on you, and I was asking why she does and she just ignored me..." "I'm sorry, but um, for what it's worth... I'm probably at fault. I mean, I let it happen, I was just so forgiving," I bit the inside of my cheek to keep my tears at bay...

"Hey, no, don't do that to yourself," he said, moving closer. "Joel, please, don't. I um, I am only here to get my things and leave-" "Why not stay? I get something happened, but why does that have to change everything with us?" "Us? There is no us Joel-" "Wow, so all that meant nothing to you?"

"Joel, I loved it. I like being with you. I feel safe with you, you know that. You have always told me that I belong here and that it didn't matter what others think... But, I don't belong here, not with you, not in this house..." I let a tear fall. "Sweetheart, no one has ever said that, have they?" He asked, closing the space between us. "No-" "Who?"

"No one, Joel. It's fine, I um... I have to go-" "You are not going anywhere till you tell me who said those things to you," he said through gritted teeth, pinning my arms above my head, and pushing me to the wall. "Joel, you'll miss work," I said with a gasp. "They will be fine without me, you need me more." "No, I don't-" "Well, your tears tell me otherwise." "Joel," I whine, letting another tear fall. "Come on pretty girl, use your words for me,"

"Fuck, you look so pretty cryin'. Who hurt you?" He caressed my tear-stained cheek. "You, me, everyone," I cry out. "I hurt you?" His tone was sad, letting my arms fall. "What did I do?" "No- I mean, I need to think straight and I can't do that around you," I push him from me.

"Baby, talk to me... Just like we used to," "I can't," "why not?" "Because so many things have changed, I can't just open up to you." "Yes you can, what is wrong?" "Nothing, Joel-" "Lies, baby girl, tell me what is wrong," he said, taking my hand in his. "Joel, nothing else needs to be said, what she told you is everything you need to know. No one would believe me if I said otherwise…"

"I would, I will always take your side. There's not a day that I won't," "Joel, you have to say that-" "Why do I have to?" "Because you are you, you can't help the need to make people feel better." "Is that what people are putting in your head? That I'm taking pity on you?" "Joel it's-" "It's what? It's not my problem? It's not a big deal?"

"Yes, it's not that big of a deal," "why? I mean, if this happened to you years ago you would have killed him, but you got with someone who is just like his father and he fucked with your head... Now here you are tellin' lie to my face!" He inched closer.

"Joel-" "Tell me, why do you believe everybody but yourself?" "Because maybe they are right..." "About what?" "Me, not belonging." "Me taking pity on you?" "maybe-" "No, there is no 'maybe' it's a yes or no," he sneered.

"Yes, Joel. Sometimes I think you are taking pity on me," I whispered, feeling his breath on my lips. "Well, why don't we change that? Huh?" He placed a soft kiss on my cheek. "I want to show you that you are more than anything than what people say about you," he said, dragging me to his room.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

"Joel, you don't have to do this-" "Baby, all I want is you," he knelt in front of me. The sight of him on his knees for me will always amaze me. "Look at those pretty eyes, do you want me to stop?" His gaze never left my face as he left soft strokes on my calves. Yes, say yes... "No please," I say low enough for us. "Such good manners, let's get this off of you, pretty girl. I want to see all of you," he played with the hem of my shirt.

"Joel, can you do it?" "Do what, baby?" He smirked, his taunting gaze making me squirm. "Undress me please?" "How can I say no when you ask so nicely? Let's see," he cooed, standing before peeling the thin fabric from my burning skin. He smiled, placing kisses all over my face, making me giggle.

"There we go, so pretty for me," he groaned, seeing my laced bralette "Joel, please... I need you," I gasp at his feather-light touches. "Not just yet baby, I'm takin' my time with you," he said lifting my bralette. "So beautiful, and all mine," he groaned to himself before wrapping his lips around my sensitive nipple.

"Fuck Joel, just like that please," I moan, lacing my fingers in his brown locks, tugging at his hair. Moaning at my actions, he pulls his beautiful mouth from my chest. "Take off your pants for me beautiful," I have never felt so submissive to anyone before Joel, his gaze alone could bring me to my knees without him asking me to...

Pulling down my pants, leaving me in only a matching pair of panties. "So precious," he cooed, playing with the waistband of the dark red lace. "I want you to sit on my bed and play with your pretty little pussy for me, just like you did the other night in my pool. I want you to show me how you get yourself off without me here to make you feel better," his free hand gripping my jaw.

"Yes sir," I whimper at his grip. "Good girl, now show me how good of a girl you can be." Letting go of my jaw, I walk at a clumsy pace to the edge of his bed. I strip from my now ruined panties, kicking them to the side. Sitting on his soft bed, spreading my legs, giving Joel a small show.

I tease myself for his pleasure, slowly running my fingers up my inner thigh so close to where I want to be. I lick at my fingers collecting saliva. I hear his breath hitch as I place my fingers on my clit. "Fuck," hold back a whimper trapping my bottom lip between my teeth "don't you look pretty playing with that needy cunt?" He groaned at the sight stepping closer. "Thank you," I say breathlessly.

"No need to thank me, baby, you're the one doing all the work," his praise edged me on, I gasp at the small stretch of my middle finger "shit," I flinch at his quick movement to his knees. "You know, watching you cum in my pool was just beautiful but this right here... Watching you get yourself off on my bed? So sprawled out just for me? It's just beyond perfect," he groaned placing butterfly kisses along my inner thigh.

"You have me on my knees for you, the sight of you has me begging to be so deep inside of you," his voice hoarse replacing my fingers with his in a swift moment. "Oh my god, Joel," I yelp at the stretch. "Your moans are music to my ears, baby," his fingers are deliciously bigger than mine, the feeling of them has me drooling. "Look at you, you're drooling and you haven't even had my cock yet," he gave a fake pout pulling out his fingers.

I was about to protest at his actions but seeing him suck his fingers clean like his life depended on it has me clenching nothing... "So ready for my cock aren't you?" I nod unable to form words under his gaze. "Words baby girl," he tapped on my clit "fuck, yes please I want your cock Joel," I whine as he sank his tongue into my begging cunt as his beautifully curved nose rubbed my clit at a perfect pace.

"Fuck me!" I cried out desperately trying to cover my mouth. "Move your hand baby, I want to hear you cumming on my tongue," he rasped disappearing between my thighs once again. Flattening his tongue licking through my folds has me shaking from the amount of pleasure he is giving me.

"Mr. Miller, I'm gonna cum! Please, oh please make me cum," I whine grinding myself on his face, tugging on his hair earning a sexy groan pulling me over the edge. My hips bucked as I came on his tongue, "shit, Joel," I whine trying to ride out my high but he didn't slow his pace. "Joel, please, please slow down," I gasped as he just held down my hips. He enters his fingers alongside his tongue.

"Shit, I- fuck me," I yell out a cry, his eyes fluttering open to watch me take whatever he was giving me. "Joel, fuck," I cry as a second orgasm rips through me. "Oh my god," I yell cumming on his fingers. "Yes, that's right I am your god, my pretty baby," he said lifting his head.

"You did so good for me," he rasped gripping my jaw. "Thank you, Mr. Miller," I whimper as he smashed his lips onto mine. "Such good manners, tell me what you want baby?" "I want you to fuck me please," I squirm under his gaze. "Well, baby since you have been so good for me, I can't say no to you," he cooed. "Thank you," I blush at his words.

"Okay, knees baby girl," he said stepping away from me. I sink to the floor only to see that he is fully clothed. I hold out my hand for him to help me back up. "What's wrong darlin'?" "Nothing, we just need to get this off first," I said playing with the hem of his work shirt. "Yes ma'am," "thank you for cooperating Mr. Miller," I said eye fucking him. This man is beyond fine, he is a work of art... He isn't too muscly. He doesn't have super-defined abs which is perfect to grab onto. His soft skin feels so right against mine...

"Baby, are you just going to keep staring at me?" "I wish I could, you are perfect Joel." "Glad you think so baby, but I prefer my old body," he laughed. "No," "no?" "No, yes your body was so hot but this body right here... Is just so sexy," I groan at the thought of every part of him. "Damn every time I was down about my body I should have just came to you," he scoffed.

"Yes, you should have. I would have worshiped your body like no other," I hummed leaving small kisses along his jaw. "Fuck," he moaned as I made my down to his chest. "You know I have never had someone to love my chest as much as you do," he gasped as I gave a teasing lick to his nipple... "Is that right?" I laid butterfly kisses along his pecs.

"Yes, you show love to every part of my body love." "Just wait and see how much I love your thighs," I grip his sides. "This I love, I can hold on to this, or these when I ride you," I gestured to his tummy and pecs. "You're killin' me here baby girl," he groaned as I pulled him into my embrace. "That's the plan baby," I gave a quick kiss before sinking to my knees. "I can watch you like this all day," he stroked my hair.

"Belt please?" "Yes ma'am" he smiled discarding his belt. I took my time undoing his jeans. "You look so pretty, my baby." "Thank you, but complementing me won't make me work faster," I hummed. Pulling down his jeans along with his boxer briefs, his cock sprung out with a hiss from Joel. "Shit, you're big," I say without thinking...

"Thank you, baby," the smirk on his face grew. He stepped out of the puddle of his clothes and kicked them to the side. "Now it's your turn to sit on the bed, Mr. Miller." "Everything good comes from sitting with you," he laughed turning me with him. "Just rest on your elbows for me, please?" I asked stroking his strong thighs.

"Oh, anything for you baby," he placed a soft kiss on my lips before leaning back. He let out a small sigh when I placed my hand on his stomach. Dragging my nails down to his thighs, his beautiful thighs... "Baby you look like you're about to eat me," he sank his teeth into his bottom lip. "Oh I am, you have no idea how long I wanted to kiss these babies... I already rid them, now it's time for me to show your thighs what they need," I hum hovering my lips over the soft skin of his thighs.

"And what is it that they need?" He questioned with a raised brow. "This," I left kisses along his inner thigh, never taking my eyes off him. I leave a train of forming hickeys up each thigh making my way to his cock. "Baby, you are the only person to ever leave marks on my thighs," he gasped as I sank my teeth into his thigh. "If you don't like it, I can stop-" "No, I mean I don't mind it," he rasped shutting his eyes. "Joel?" "Hmm?" "Tell me, what were you thinking about when I was watching you the other night?" I asked leaving a trail of kisses to his cock.

"What I was thinking of?" "Yeah, I want to know," I say in a low tone taking his hard cock in my hand. "Okay- shit- okay I was thinking of your first night here when Sarah dragged you out to go clubbin' and you wore that pretty little red dress, and you were pissed as hell because you didn't get to have fun..." He hissed bucking his hips into my hand.

"And you slept with some guy and you didn't get to cum before he did. You were just sitting there in the little dress with your legs in my lap as I massaged your calves... all I remember was that I wanted to pin you down and fuck you right there. To make you cum on my cock. And I heard you after you went to your room... I heard you moaning, I heard you cumming. And all I wanted was to be there with you, wanting to be the one you were moaning for." he groaned as my hand gently squeezed his cock.

"I was thinking of you, all I wanted was you... I was pissed because she took me with her, and I didn't get to spend time with you like we used to. I was horny and wanted you..." I wrapped my lips around his cock earning a low moan. "Of fuck," his eyes fluttered shut. "Baby, all you had to do was ask." "Yeah but what's the fun in that?" I giggle.

"If you want me to fuck you, you have to stop takin' me so deep in your throat," he groaned as I pulled off holding a tight grip on the base of his cock. "That was close pretty one," "I know, but who said I couldn't make you cum twice?" I laughed. "Oh I know you can, but I don't need my soul to leave my body."

"Okay, now the real fun," I said crawling onto him. "You know, I haven't had someone let me use them like that." "Ever?" "Well, there was one, but he was more submissive than you, but no one who went along with it..." "Assholes, that's what they are, every person should let you treat them right," "I agree, but right now is about making you feel good," my voice huskier than ever as I sank down onto him.

"Oh, my god," he exhaled as I sank further down. "Yes, I am your god, I am your fucked up god," I said with a gasp as he bottomed out. The way he is stretching me is so fucking perfect. "Just give me a minute Joel, fuck this angle has you deeper than last time," I moan hanging my head, gripping at his shoulders.

"It's okay, take your time to adjust, I'm not goin' anywhere baby," "fuck me, you're too big!" "You can take it, baby, I know you can. Just like my good girl," he slowly slid the tiniest bit out only to slam back in. "Joel! Fuck," I cry out in pleasure. "What was I doing when you were thinking of me that night?" He asked fucking up into me.

"I was thinking about what one of Sarah's friends said about you needing to pound into something so you can let loose a bit with us- shit- I was thinking of you storming into my room and fucking me silly. Letting you have your way with me- Fuck me do that again!" I moaned as he pressed deep into me over and over.

"Joel, please- fucking shit make me cum please," I cry out snaking my hand around his throat. "Please, please- oh god, please!" I beg as he pounded from underneath me. "I was supposed to do all the work," I finally get out in one breath. "Next time I promise baby, but I am just so deep I can't help it. You are just so tight darlin'" he grunted as I clenched around him.

"I can feel how close you are baby, you feel so good around me," "Joel, can I cum? Please?" I beg as tears prick my eyes as the pleasure takes over my mind. "Oh my pretty baby, look at you. Cum, cum for me," he coaxed. "Joel, oh my-" My third orgasm took over. My legs shook as I pick up our pace. My mind goes blank. My back Arching. My eye's shutting... My hand choking Joel... "Fuck baby just like that, you can take it, fuck yourself onto me. Use me to get yourself off," he grunted.

"Joel cum in me, I want you to cum in me," "shit," he threw his head back, arching his back... His orgasm was so powerful, I could feel the way his legs were shaking under me. "Fucking shit," he gasped for air painting my insides with his hot load, opening my eyes I see my hand around his neck... "Oh, shit sorry Joel," I gasped slowly sliding off of him. "Don't apologize for that baby, I just came the hardest I have ever cum because of that," he said trying his best to catch his breath.

"come here," he said pulling me up his body. What are you doing?" I giggled "I'm not done with you just yet Darlin'," he smirked hovering me above his face. "Sit," he demanded pulling on my thighs. "But-" "No 'but's' sit. Now." "Yes sir," I obey as he attached his mouth to my leaking cunt. "Joel, you don't have to do this. I can clean myself- shit," I moan as he sucked our mixed juices. "One more please baby," "Joel, I- I can't," "I know you can sugar," fuck it, can another orgasm really hurt? Yes, it can...

"Joel please, it's too much," I cry. "Well, she tells me otherwise, she's clenching around my finger like her life depends on it," he chuckled. "Fuck!" I yell grinding down on his face, squeezing my thighs around his head when my fourth orgasm crashed through me like no other. "Joel!" I cry out when he doesn't stop. "Joel please-" "Just cleaning up baby, that's all," he hummed to himself. "Good, because I don't think I could take another one," I gave a breathless laugh.

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We lay in bed for a few minutes trying to calm our breath. I climb out the bed to find my phone. "Where are you going?" "I have to get my phone," I said picking up my clothes. "Why some other guy you have to go to?" "Yeah, I have to call Sean," I said making him laugh. "What's so funny Joel?" I say with a blank face. "Wait seriously?" He barked rolling out of bed to find his boxers.

"Yeah, why?" I asked slipping on my panties and shirt. "You're going back to Sean's?" "Yeah, I'm taking my things over there- where is this coming from?" "I just thought- I mean you're still leaving after this?" He pointed to the bed we were just fucking in. "You just thought what?" "I don't know, that you would stay?" "Joel, regardless of what happens here, I'll still have to leave you at some point."

"Yeah, but do you have to go back to Sean's?" "What is it with you and him? Hmm?" "He's not good enough for you," "and what makes you the judge of that? Who said I was sleeping with him?" "No one,-" "Exactly, no one... So just stay out of it," I said as my phone rang. "Hey, yeah I'm ready. Okay- okay bye." I ended the call slipping into my pants.

"Wow, just like that huh?" He yelled yanking on his jeans. "What?" "I mean what was this?" "What do you mean Joel?" "This? The sex?" "Hey, you started that, not me," I sighed walking out his room. "Hey, you don't get to walk away from me!" "What are you going to do huh?" "I- I don't know yet," he huffed standing in the hallway. "Okay so if you don't mind Sean is waiting for me outside," I pushed passed him as I pulled my suitcases alongside me down the stairs.

I swing open the front door to see Sean standing at his truck. "Here let me help you with that-" "Thanks but I got it Joel," I pull away from him walking out the door. "Here honey, I got this. You get in and put your seat belt on," he said taking my suitcases... "Thank you, Sean," I said eyeing Joel...

We pull away from the house, and he is still standing there. Just watching us drive away...

"Look, I know you don't want to. But you are gonna have to talk to me," "I know Sean, but not right now... Not today..." "Okay, well I'm here," "I know," "Okay, how about dinner and a movie and a fort in the living room?" "How about a bath then all of them?" "Sounds perfect." "Yes it does," I let out a sigh leaning my head back...

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

I turn over to an empty spot, groaning as the morning light peeked through the window. Shit, what time is it? "Sean!" I yell, tossing the pillows. "Okay, I am only in the kitchen. Why are you yelling?" "Have you seen my phone?" "No, sweetness... Where did you last see it?" Shit... That is just perfect. "At Joel's, when I last used it..."

"Why don’t you stay here and I’ll go get it for you-" "Nah, it’s okay I can just buy a new one-" I trail off with a gasp. "What?" "I- um, I left something at Joel’s other than my phone..." "What? A bag or somethin’?" "No, more like an um- um my bra," I sighed... "You slept with him again?" "Yeah… But I was in a rush-" "Wow, I mean just wow!" He laughed.

"What are you laughing at Sean?" "You, I mean you go over there to get your things then you end up fucking him and now you are back to being cold towards him, that is just beautiful!" "Okay, it’s not funny, Sean," I yell as I swat at his shoulder. "To me, it is-" "Oh fuck off!" "Come on, I’ll take you to pick it up." "No, I’ll get it tomorrow… I have seen enough Joel," I huff sitting on the bed.

"You literally saw him yesterday-" "My point exactly, so we can just wait for tomorrow," "Whatever you want honey," "Thank you..." "Hey, I'm going to be at the bar pretty much all day and night so I want you to stop by for a bit," he said pulling on his shirt.

"I will-" "You're not just saying that?" He asked, placing his hand in mine. "No, I'll stop by and we can get some food on the way home," "That sounds good to me," he said, leaving a soft kiss on my head. "I'll see you later sweetheart," he gave me a sad look, walking from my hands. "You got it," I waved him bye before tossing myself back onto the mattress.

After a power nap, I slouch to the living room to put on some Bowie; I hear a faint knock at the door. I glance at the clock on the wall, 2:45 PM it's probably his neighbor leaving the key.. Opening the door with a small smile. "Hey Sean's not hear right now but- no shit." "Darlin'?" "JJ? What are you doing here?" "I came by to leave Sean my keys, what are you doing here?" She asked, wide-eyed.

"I'm staying here for a bit... Wait, you're his neighbor?" "Yeah, how long have you been in town?" "About four weeks," "damn, how's life been?" "It has been crazy lately." "Sorry to hear that," she shook her head. "It's fine, what have you been up to?" "Nothing much, I'm heading out right now." "That's nice," I gave a smile. "Look, you should come out with me!" "No, I wouldn't want to be a burden-" "No please, I would love your company, just like old times," she laughed.

"I mean, it couldn't hurt to go out for a bit-" "That's my girl, go get ready. I'll wait for you," she said, stepping into Sean's house. Just like old times, right? What can go wrong? A lot...

Her car is blasting music like I remember. "Who is all going to be there?" I asked, turning down the radio. "Well, random people, Kat, Rick, and Max," JJ sang with a smirk. "Oh, no JJ-" "What?" "I can't go, I should have asked beforehand," I rake my fingers through my hair. "Well, if I told you who was going, you wouldn't have come," she said, focused on the road. "JJ I can't," "Why not?"

"Because those are Sarah's friends, not mine-" "Am I Sarah's friend?" "No-" "Well then, why should it matter?" "It's just that we aren't getting along at the moment-" "Nothing new there, I mean she is an ass." "What do you mean by that?" "Well I mean she has always treated others like she was better than them so none of us really hang out with her, so trust me you are safe tonight." "Okay. fuck it... Let's go have fun," I sighed, trying my best to shake my nerves.

"Hey, look at me," she said, putting the gear in park. "You are going to have fun, you are going to talk to people, and most important of all... You are going to kiss some people!" "Okay, I am not kissing anyone," I laugh, unbuckling my seatbelt.

-

"Hey, Darlin'!" They yell as I enter the small bar... "Hey, guys," I said as I greeted them with hugs. "Omg, how have you been Darlin'?" "I have been just fine Kat." "That's good!" "How have you been?" "I have been fantastic! Rick proposed!" "Oh my god! What? When did this happen?" "Last week!" "Congratulations!" I yelled as I hugged her. "Congrats, dude," I said as I hugged Rick. "Thanks, sweetheart. I mean, I had to settle down, I couldn't let this one get away," Rick laughed as he hugged Kat.

"Hey!" "Oh, hey Max," "how have you been Darlin'? Does anyone even call you Darlin' anymore?" "Oh no, they don't, but I have been good," I laugh at the nickname. "That's good... So what do people call you nowadays?" "Um... They call me y/n, no one really calls me any nicknames..." "Not even Sean? Joel? The boyfriend?" He gave an unsure smile...

"Well, Joel and Sean are the only ones who call me nicknames but there is no boyfriend," I said, looking away from him. "What? What happened to Mitch?" "He cheated, and I got bored with him..." "Sorry to hear that Darlin'- y/n." "Thanks," I said as I took a beer from his grasp. "That was mine," "and now it's mine," I laughed, taking a swig.

"So how is Sean doing?" Kat blurted, dragging Ricky alongside her, "I thought you were with Mitch?" Ricky said with a puzzled look. "Who told you that?" "JJ, why?" "I'm not seeing anyone... I haven't been for a while now." I scoffed. "Oh, um- what happened?" "I mean Sean, and I broke up before I left for college. I got with Mitch after a few months, then he cheated on me..."

"Man Darlin' I'm sorry to hear that." "It's okay, but don't listen to everything you hear from JJ-" "What about me?" She interrupted with a smile. "Why did you tell them that I was still seeing someone?" I yelled, storming out of the bar.

"What the hell did you say to them?" JJ quietly yelled. "I told them that I'm not seeing someone," "Why would you do that?" "Because I'm not!" "Well Darlin', that's none of their business-" "Stop with that stupid name! No one calls me Darlin'!" I yell, shaking my head in disbelief...

"You know what? I am done, I came here to escape life for a while, but if I have to deal with this, I'm out," I scoffed. "Okay, Darlin', I am sorry, can you stay and party with us? I wanted you to have fun, I shouldn't have said anything to anyone," JJ said as she handed me a blunt. "Okay, yeah, I don't see why not," I said as I took the blunt from her hand. "That's my girl!" JJ yelled as I took a puff.

The music is loud. People are dancing like there is no tomorrow. "See, wasn't that easy?" "Yeah, I guess," I mumbled, stepping through the doors. "That a good girl, you want more tequila?" "Sure," I stumbled next to Max.

Max

"Hey, I don't think you should drink anymore, you have drank so much in so little time," "Let her be Max, now come Darlin'," JJ said, pulling her to a table. "JJ, you can't do this to her, she got away from us for a reason," "Look, Max, she wanted to do this, if you say anything else to her and I will deny it because you don't have proof," JJ shoved me with a finger. "Fine, fuck you JJ, you are acting just like Sarah... I am not going under for you, you are on your own," I said, grabbing my jacket.

Reader

It's dark. It's so cold. Where am I?... "You okay?" "Max?" "Yeah, well I mean if you would open your eyes you could see me," "I can't open my eyes." "Why not?" "It's too bright." "In Sean's house? Where it's literally 4 in the morning?" 4 In the morning? "Where is Sean?" "Store, he's gettin' you some things."

"Okay... How much did I drink?" "What do you remember?" "Nothin' much..." "There's your answer..." "That bad?" "I know I haven't seen you since we graduated but I thought you were smarter than this," "Max-" "No, you hang around with dicks, between her and Sarah... I mean damn," he sighed as the front door opened. "Hey, they didn't have- what the hell were you thinkin'!" Sean yelled as he tossed the bag on the couch next to me.

"Sean-" "No, look, this is why I wanted you to stay with me. So you won't get this drunk... So you won't get this high... I mean, what the hell? You know I didn't remember her? How she treated you? That makes me feel like shit," "Sean, it's fine. I just needed a night to myself-" "You say that as Max had to drag you to my bar because you showed up at his house, crying and so drunk you didn't even know who you were talking to!" He scoffed, walking away. "Take a shower and I'll make you some food," he yelled from the kitchen.

My head is pounding, and that knocking isn't helping... I glance at the clock on Sean's dresser. 4:27 PM... I groan, rolling out of bed. "Sean, who is knocking?" I asked, rubbing my temples, "I'll check, hold on," he grumbled, rolling off the couch. "Sean, get the door or I will shoot it..." "Okay jeez." "Hey, Joel, yeah she's in the kitchen just be a little quiet," "or don't because if that's your whispering voice then you have already killed me," I said sliding against the wall.

 "I'm gonna go back to bed so you guys can talk-" "You can take the bed, Sean, I'll go lay down later-" "No, you can have it, I don't mind it," he said throwing himself on the couch.

"What's goin' through that hungover brain of yours?" Joel asked, sliding down next to me. "Everything but also nothing," I sighed as I leaned my head back against the wall. "Let's get you back to bed hmm?" He asked as he helped me up "Joel, you don't even have to be here- wait why are you here?"

"Because you had a rough night," he said caressing my cheek "Joel, I am a big girl I can take care of myself," I said walking into Sean’s room. "Oh, I never said you couldn't, I know you are more than capable," he chuckled. "Come back to the house and stay with me, just until you leave," he said with his big puppy eyes.

"Joel-" "Please?" "Joel, why are you in here?" I sighed, turning to him "I'm not gonna lie but I just want to be with you for a bit and I really want to kiss you," he said in a single breath, leaning in. "Why don't you?" I whispered. "Because I don't know if you want me to," he whispered against my lips "Joel, there's not a day that I don't want you to kiss me," I gave a sad laugh.

"Then come here," he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. I slowly walk to him and stood in between his legs. "Please, kiss me," he softly begged. "You begging is a sight to see..." "Only for you," he said, pulling me down. "I'm not kissing you on this bed, Joel," I said, stepping back. "Fine, then kiss me on my bed. Come home with me."

"Joel-" "Just for a few days, and if you want to come back... I'll bring you back." "If I say yes, will you stop being a baby?" I laughed. "For you? Never, but please come home with me... Where you belong," he held my hand to his lips. "Okay, I'll go," I whispered low enough for us to hear.

"Sean?" I yelled from the bathroom. "Yes?" He rounded the corner. "Okay, I need my bags please-" "You're leavin' already? I thought you two were goin' good-" "No, I'm going back..." "Hell yes! I get to have my bed all to myself again," he cheered. "Oh shut up Sean, can you go get my bags please?" "Yes ma'am," he laughed, walking away.

"So, are you ready?" Joel asked, knocking at the bathroom door. "Hey, yeah, can you send Sean please?" "Yeah, I'll get him for you," he said, backing away from the door.

A knock startles me. "It's me, open up," Sean's voice echoed through the small bathroom. "What's wrong?" He softly asked closing the door. "I am going to stay with him..." "Okay?" "What do I do?" "You go with him?" "No smartass, like what am I supposed to do? I mean we are like best of friends... I slept with him..." "Yeah, but you're a big girl. You got this," "Sean, that's helpful."

"It's not supposed to be helpful, I'm your friend, not your boyfriend," he laughed. "What do you mean you were just like this when you were my boyfriend," I scoffed. "Just go with him, talk, laugh, and cry, just like you always do. You don't have to tell him anythin', but please open up to someone other than me... You need it," he said before leaving a swift kiss on my forehead.

Joel

He has been in the bathroom with her for quite some time now. I'm not jealous. Just protective, that's all. "Okay, I'm ready now." She spoke in a soft tone. "Okay, well, let's hit the road," I said, taking her bags.

The whole ride back to my house was full of music, she never liked to talk when she was driving with me. She just liked to listen to music and enjoy the drive. "We are here, sweetheart," I whispered as if she was a fragile flower. "You know you didn't have to agree," I said, slouching on the couch. "What do you mean?" "It's just that you look like you regret even coming back to the house, and you could have said that you didn't want to come. I would have left it alone," "Joel, I didn't mean to make it seem like that," she whispered, sitting next to me.

Reader

He sat there with his head hung low... "It's just that you don't seem to want to be here," "I do, I want to be here with you, It's just going to take some time." "Okay, I can respect that," he said with a sad smile... "Just tell me when you want to stop all of this and I'll take you back to Sean's-" "Hey, why would I want to stop all of this? I love this," I smirked at his fake pout. "You know me so well." "You bet your ass I do," I laughed, leaning on his shoulder.

"How about we make some dinner and watch a movie?" "I think that sounds perfect," I sighed, nestling into his soft touches. "What do you want to eat?" "I think some Alfredo pasta will satisfy me more than anything," my stomach growled at the thought. "Well, I must do anything to satisfy you," he laughed, holding me closer. "Yes you must, I am just that precious," I beamed.

"Okay, you get the pasta ready and I'll do the sauce," I said handing him the box of pasta. "I haven't had you cook for me in a very long time," he sighed in relief. "And I haven't had you cook with me in a very long time," I bumped his hip with mine. "Well, it's thanks to you, I can kinda cook, I mean it's nowhere near as good as yours but it'll do if I don't want to starve," he laughed.

"This smells so good Joel," "I agree, but it's only because you made it." "Oh stop it, you helped," I swatted at his shoulder. "Doing what? The pasta?" "Hey, you helped with some of the spices-" "Only because I remembered which ones you liked," he hummed to himself. "Well, isn't that sweet of you?"

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"Not as sweet as you," he whispered, his breath on my neck. "Joel," "what baby?" "What are you doing?" "Nothing, I'm just taking you in," he said leaving small kisses along my neck. "Oh, really?" "Yes, you have been out of my touch for too long," he rasped swaying my hips with his. "Joel, we'll burn the food," I gasped feeling his bulge pressed firmly against my ass. "Then turn down the heat," he said reaching over to mess with the knobs. "You're an ass, Mr. Miller," I turned to steal a kiss from him.

I hummed into the kiss, dragging my teeth lightly along his bottom lip. "You are killing me," he pulled away. "Good," I smirked "fuck baby you look so sexy," he said peeling my small shirt off of my heated body and throwing it somewhere on the floor. "Oh, look at all my work," he says as he traces over all the hickeys on my chest, down to my breast.

"I want to hear those sexy moans of yours," he said slipping his hand into my pants. "Fuck!" I practically screamed. "Is this what my pretty baby needed?" he asked teasingly. "Fuck please," I begged as he pulled down my pants along with my panties. "Now, now, you have to be patient baby girl," his voice hoarse as he slid a thick finger down my slits causing my hips to buck into his touch. "Fuck, I barely touched you and you are so wet for me." He said in almost awe "Just for you, Joel," I moaned as he knelt between my thighs.

"Joel, please," I moaned as he made perfect circles on my clit with his soft tongue. "Just like that baby, use my face to get yourself off," he growled inserting two of his thick fingers into my aching cunt. "Fucking shit," I screamed as my thighs shook around his head. My knees almost gave out as I tried to hold myself up. "Yes, baby girl... Cum on my tongue, cum for me," he coaxed "Joel, please make me cum, please," I cried out.

"Oh, there is nothin' I want more, my pretty baby," he cooed as if he wasn't finger fucking me right now. "I can feel how close you are baby, you can let go," "fuck me," I cried breathlessly as a tear of pure euphoria fell down my face. "There you go, give me what I want baby," he rasped as I clenched around his fingers bringing me closer to my release.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant as he curled his finger at an inhuman pace. I came but this time it was different... It was wetter... Shit, what did I do? "I'm so sorry, it won't stop," I cried as it just kept flowing out of me. With a gasp I'm squirting on Joel's face, soaking his mouth and beard...

"Shit baby girl, don't apologize... That was fucking perfect," "I've never done that before," I say trying to catch my breath. "Never?" "I don’t think I have… but this was... Fuck you're soaked," I said collecting my juices from his chin. "You did so good for me," he stood placing a soft and passionate kiss on my lips, "what are you doing?" "My turn," I say acting innocently as I suck and bite from his chest to his tummy.

I pull down his jeans and boxers. I tried to take him as deep as I could without gagging. "Shit baby girl, right there- " He moaned while pulling on my hair making me whimper fuck he looks hot. "Fuck you look so sexy no wonder why everyone wants you," I said with a possessive growl before taking him deeper than last time. "But you are the only one that can have me," he said with lustful eyes, "fuck baby girl just like that, you look so sexy like this," he growled shoving his big cock down my throat.

"Come here," he said in a single breath, "what's wrong?" "As much as I want to cum in that pretty little mouth of yours I really want to cum in you again." "Well don't let me stop you then," I giggled allowing him to pull me with him. "Okay baby girl, are you ready?" His voice is hoarse as he pulled my body against his. "For you? I'm always ready," I smirked as he slid into me with ease because of my wetness "shit!" I slightly yell before I bit down onto his shoulder causing him to smirk.

"Joel, please," I whine rubbing circles on my clit. "What do you want baby?" "I want you to fuck me harder, please!" I cried out as I instinctively clenched around him. "Fuck if you keep clenching me like that I won't last baby," he grunted as his pace got sloppier. "What if I don't want you to last? Hmm?" "Such a slut for my cock huh?" He rasped wrapping a hand around my neck "fuck just like that Joel," I moan chasing my orgasm.

"Oh, my god y/n, you're so fucking tight. I've never fucked a pussy this tight," he slowed his pace to only slam back into me. "Never? Not even the pretty little thing you brought home that one summer?" I hissed resting my head on the cool counter. "Not even her baby, she wasn't you. She wasn't what I wanted," he whispered tangling his fingers in my hair, making a makeshift ponytail with his fist. "And what was that?" "I wanted your sweet little cunt. I wanted to be the one that fucked you. You don't understand how much it pissed me off when you told me you finally fucked that kid," a moan was ripped from his chest as he slammed into me.

"I had to get myself off after that, I tried so hard not to think of you that night... I had a nice boyfriend and all I could think of was fucking you," a moan escaped as I came around his cock. "Just like that, good girl cum on my cock, just like that fuck," he groaned thrusting deep in me. He's so deep when he cums. "Shit!" He grunted as he painted my insides with his hot load... "Fuck baby, you were such a good girl for me," he said trying to catch his breath. "Thank you, Mr. Miller" I gasped as he pulled out with a hiss.

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"Okay, you go take a shower and I'll finish the food," I said with sleepy eyes picking up our clothes. "Okay, I'll be quick so you can take one too," he laughed leaving a swift kiss on my forehead. After a few minutes, I hear the water turn off from upstairs. "Baby! You can come up and take your shower," Joel called out from the stairs, "thank you," I said putting the now-cooked pasta in the sauce.

After that relaxing shower, I headed down the stairs in only Joel's shirt and a small pair of pajama bottoms. "How was your shower?" "It was good, better than Sean's shower," I laughed letting down my hair from the loose bun I held it in. "So I'll get this plated and you pick the movie?" He asked reaching for the plates. "Yeah that would be nice, having you serve me," I hummed to myself and he just laughed at my comment.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

We are cuddled on the couch with my knees bent over his legs as he massaged my calves, watching Coraline, talking like we always do when I hear the turning of the knob. "Dad, you'll never guess what I just heard!" She yelled through the house. "Sarah? What are you doing here?" "I live here duh, what is she doing here?" "She's staying here duh," he said giving her the same flat tone. "Well now this is awkward," she said with a fake pout.

"What is Sarah? That you're acting like you weren't yelling at me the other day or the fact that you are acting like a child and decided to stay at your friends for more than the weekend?" "Neither of those things, well I didn't want to tell you like this but apparently y/n and Sean are back together,, I didn't even know they were together in the first place," she scoffed with a smirk looking my way. Who the fuck told her that? "What do you mean Sarah? I'm not with Sean," I shot up, fixing my posture.

"Well people say otherwise," she barked rolling her eyes. "Who told you that?" "I'm no snitch, but I mean weren't you living with him?" "Yeah, but that doesn't we were sleeping together, you know that," "I don't know, you have been acting so differently lately! I don't even know who you are anymore!" She yelled moving closer to us. "Girls calm down, let's just talk about this, y/n? Is this true? Were you sleeping with him?" Joel asked with sad eyes.

"No, I would never, I mean yeah I love him but we have no future together, you know that..." "See, she still loves him, Dad," "Sarah shut up! Why do you even care?" "Because you're cheating on Mitchy!" "I'm not even with him! Not after that!" "You don't even know what you're talking about!" She yelled in my face. "Okay, one of you tell me what the fuck is going on! Right now!" He yelled pushing us apart. "Don't you dare say shit," she barked with gritted teeth...

"Okay, someone needs to say something! I am tired of this bullshit," Joel yelled as Sarah just gave me a 'say anything and I will end you' look. "There is nothing to say, Joel, I mean it really is nothing-" "See, I told you she was being dramatic!" "You told him what?" "Well, I mean, you are overreacting over nothing!" She huffed, flipping her hair.

"You know what? I treated you like a friend, I didn't have to. Your dad wanted you to make friends, so I did him a favor..." "Yeah right-" "He was my friend way before you even stepped into my life," I barked. "So you were my friend till you fucked everything up," she gave a shove to my shoulder.

"Fine, if you see it that way, then you have no problem with me telling your dad what I did?" "Don't you fucking dare!" She yelled, running at me, instinctively I punched her in the face, making her fall on her ass. "You fucking bitch!" She cursed, holding her nose.

"Joel, do you remember how I told you that Mitchel cheated on me with one of our friends?" "Yeah?" "Well, he did, with Zoe... And Sarah. It had been going on since the second month we were together and when we came to visit and we stayed with my dad, I caught them... And my dad told me to get over it because he had known for months and decided that what they were doing was okay..." I let out a sob.

He just stood there. His face was blank, not a word has left his mouth... "And this is why I said that it didn't matter, you don't have to believe me," I spoke with a sad tone. "Why would he believe you? You are such a liar?" "Sarah, I want you out of this fucking house right now," he barked, raking his fingers through his hair.

"What-" "You heard me, how could you do that to your best friend? She was there for you when you needed her and yet you do this? I mean, what the fuck happened to you?" He question as she stood to her feet, letting the blood drip onto the floor. "Nothing happened to me, what happened to you? I thought you were going to have my side no matter what?" "I do, I did, till you betray someone like this... I didn't raise you to be like that, Sarah-"

"That's right, you didn't raise me, you were always with her!" "I was with her because I was way too nice and let you go out wherever just so you wouldn't throw a tantrum! You wanted to leave so I let you, you seemed happy so I let myself think I was doing a great job... Now look at you, all like your mother." He spat, walking away from us.

"This is all your fault!" She yelled, running at me again. I see red, nothing but red... My ears are ringing as I pounce on her, punching her face. I can't hold back the tears and screams that fall from me. Joel finally gets a grip on me as he pulls me off of her.

"Baby, stop. I know it hurts, but you can't do this!" He yelled as I tried to get free of his arms. "Baby? You're sleeping with her?" Her voice roared as she stood, stomping towards me. "Stop it, both of you! I have had enough of this," he pushed Sarah back as he put me behind him. "You're fucking her? You're fucking my friend-" "She was never your friend! I knew her first, she was in my life first and it is none of your goddamn business who I'm fucking!" He yelled, startling me.

"How could you do this to me? I thought you cared about me y/n!" "I did, at one point I just realized that you were only using me! I stopped talking to everyone here because you and your boyfriend kept putting shit in my head and I just let it happen," I scoffed, pushing Joel from in front of me. "Yeah right, tell yourself whatever you want-" "Fuck you, Sarah, I'm done with this shit. You can just shove it up you ass man," I said walking to the kitchen. "Bitch don't you dare walk away from me!" She yelled after me. "Sarah, that's enough! Leave her alone," Joel called out following us.

"Sarah, please just give it a rest, I wasn't allowed to get mad when I found out that he slept with you so you have no right to get mad about me sleeping with your dad," I sighed turning to her just to get punched in the shoulder... I just stand there with a blank face in disbelief. "You punch like a bitch," I laughed before my fist met her face once again.

"This is what you want Dad? This bitch who hits me?" "Don't call her that, and you started this. Stop acting like a child," he barked pulling her back from me. "Joel, do you want me to leave Because I can go-" "Yes-" "No, you're not going anywhere, the one who is leaving is you, Sarah, I'm not gonna say it again," "Dad-" "No, you have brought shame to this family, I can't believe you did this to someone who gave you all their attention," he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just go Sarah," "dad-" "Sarah, please just leave. I don't want you here right now!" "Fine, you can have this bitch," "Sarah," he gave a warning glare. "You two deserve each other, this is so fucked up!" She yelled storming out the front door.

"That was so unnecessary," I laughed, "you're laughin' right now?" He asked with a raised brow. "Sorry, I just thought that wasn't going to come out," I sound crazed. "What?" "I wasn't going to tell you, I was going to keep it to myself probably till the day I died," I laughed as tears fell. "That's what Sean wanted you to tell me?" "Yeah," "You told him and not me?" His tone was angry, "Joel, it was a great idea at the time." "You could have called me..." "No I couldn't have," "Yes-"

"No, they were in the dorms at all times, they invaded my personal space then my mind... I couldn't even think for myself at times, I had to make sure it was okay with them... I couldn't call you because Mitchel found it weird and would tell Sarah that I was talking to you so she would ask about every little detail we talked about and made me tell her," "how could she make you?" He scoffed.

"She would make Mitchel hit me, or... Or she would do it herself, I had to hide so many bruises when we would come over, I had to hide so much from you when we came over," I sighed sliding down to the floor. "Why? Why would you do that?" "Because I thought I was going to lose you," I choked on my words as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "Why would you think that?" "Because she's your daughter, family comes first-" "No, you come first... She never treated you right, I love my daughter but that's not the little girl I raised so technically she's not my daughter-" "Joel, don't say that..."

"No I mean it-" "No you don't, this is why I didn't want to say anything... Either you would hate me, or you would hate her," I let a tear fall. "Oh my sweet baby, I could never hate you," he rushed to his knees to sit between mine.

Silence with Joel always seems to ease anything that happens. "How about we go to bed?" His soft tone broke me free from thought. "I'm not sleepy yet-" "Your body says otherwise," he pointed to my tired eyes. "Joel, it's fine. I'm good-" "Nope, you're in our house, you're not gonna be tired unless I make you tired," he said with a smirk picking me up bridal style. Our house... I giggled at the thought.

He softly laid me on his bed as if I were a delicate flower. "Joel, I could sleep in my own bed," I sat on my elbows watching him crawl into bed. "No, from now on you'll be sleeping in my- our bed," he hummed. "Joel,-" "Don't say anything right now, let's just be like this just for a little bit," he has always said 'our house' but this time it feels like it has a different meaning like he really means it this time. "I can see you thinking, what's on your mind?" His hands made soft strokes through my hair. "Nothing, just that... I love this," I gave a quick kiss before turning over, "I love this too," his words almost sounding sad...

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I see his watch on the nightstand, 3:45 AM... Of course, he's not in bed. walking down the stairs I hear a slight sniffle. "Joel?" I softly called out as I made my way through the kitchen to the living room. "Hey, what are you doing up?" He asked wiping a tear. "Are you crying?" "No, of course not," he adjusted on the couch "Joel, come on," I sat beside him.

"Tell me what's wrong," I held his hand, "it's just- what happens when you leave me?" "Leave you?" "Yeah, you'll go back to school and you're not gonna want me anymore," he more to himself than me. "Why do you say that?" "You love this, not me... You love the small world we're in, not us," he rolled his eyes. "You really think that?" "I mean how else am I supposed to see it?"

"Really Miller?" I scoffed poking his shoulder. "You got me fucked up if you think of me like that, I love what we have... Because it's us, I love us, I love you," I laughed, leaving a puzzled look on his face. "You love me?" "Yes, I have been in love with you since I was 17," "You really love me?" "Joel Miller, I know we don't say 'I love you' unless we really mean it, so do you think I mean it?"

"Yes, I mean-" "Joel, shut up," I laughed pulling him in for a soft kiss, his breath hitched as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Joel Miller, you are a sucker and I love making you a sucker," I smiled at his puppy eyes. "Now, you're gonna come back to bed because if you don't I'll force you to watch movies all morning," I giggled pulling him off the couch. "Yes ma'am," he rushed up to tickle me "Joel, if you don't stop tickling me!" I yelled running up the stairs. "You'll do what? Huh?" "I'll bite you because I know my tickles don't faze you," I cried with laughter as we reached the bed. "You know I'll like it," he laughed tossing us on the messy bed.

Joel

I finally have her, she's mine. I have this woman all to myself. It's wrong but it feels so right, I never thought I would have her all to myself. "So, how long will she be mad at us?" She asked as I cradled her face in my hands. "She will never get over it," I said in a hushed voice, "I love you," she whispered, "I love you, and I don't care who knows," I placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Joel, I love you, I love you enough to let you go-" "To let me go? Are you breaking up with me?" "No-" "I knew you would, I don't know why I keep tellin' myself that anyone could love this old fool," I huffed hopping off the bed. "Hey! Don't you dare talk about yourself like that! Ever, this isn't about me or you-Well it's about you a little bit... I just don't want you to sacrifice your relationship with your daughter for me," she yelled standing on her knees, the bed making her a bit taller than me. "I won't be, she made her decision and I made mine, I lost you once and I ain't gonna lose you again-" "You won't, I'll still come by but I- We just can't be us," "no, that's not good enough for me, and neither is it for you, you deserve to be happy, and if that's with me then I am gonna make it happen," I sighed, leaning my forehead against hers.

"Hey, look at me, I am happy... With you, I am happy with you. I will never change my mind, I will never get tired of you, and I certainly won't stop loving you," I placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I just want you to be happy, I don't want to be the reason you're not, you may feel like you can love me forever right now... But what happens when the guilt comes back? When you regret being with me and miss your daughter?" "I will always miss her, but I miss the old her... I will never regret being with you, I love- I have always loved you... No one in this world could ever change that," I gave a weak laugh as a tear rolled down her sad face.

"I will love you till I die, I don't think I could stop loving you... Even if I tried." "Joel?" "Yeah?" "What happens when I leave?" "We will make it work, I'll visit you, and you'll come visit me. We will make it work. And, we go back to our late-night calls because I miss hearing your voice at the end of a hard day," "me too," she sniffled. "When do you go back?" "I leave in a 7 days, then I'll have a week left to prepare for the new semester..." "Okay, till then we will not leave this bed no matter what," I smiled rolling us over onto our sides.

"I would love to see that but you mister, have work in the morning." "Don't remind me, I was hopin' to forget so I can stay here with you all day," "I don't think so Joel, I know you love me but you love working more," she smiled, poking my dimple. "Get some sleep hun," I sighed, placing a kiss on her temple. "yes Sir," she giggled tucking her cold hands under my shirt, "why you little-" "What?" She laughed, her beautiful laugh. "Get some sleep baby, you need it," "Thank you, I love you," she mumbled sleepishly, "I love you more, more then you can ever know... You understand-" I trailed off listening to her small light snores. I am the luckiest man in this world, to have this woman to myself... To be the one to hold her, to be the one she comes home to at the end of the day... I am so in love with her it almost hurts.

I walk into our room to see her peacefully tangled in our sheets. Her light snores, those plumped lips slightly parted, she is so beautiful. "Baby," I lightly shook her arm, "yeah?" She mumbled. "I'm heading to work, I love you and I will see you later. Don't forget to eat somethin'," I whispered, rubbing her arm. "Okay, be safe," she sniffled "you feelin' alright darlin'?" "Yeah, I just want us to sleep for a little longer," she hummed holding my hand. "I wish, but we can't," I smiled scooting next to her.

 The sound of my phone stirs her in her peaceful state. "Goddamn it Tommy, what do you want?" "I just needed to know when you're goin' get here?" "Well actually, Y/n isn't feeling well, I am going to stay here with her," the lie leaves my lips when she covers my chest with her body. "Are you sure?" "Yes Tommy, can you stop by the shop and tell Daniel for me?" "Whatever." Tommy scoffed before hangin' up.

"Looks like you got your way," I softly laughed placing my phone on my nightstand. "Good," she muttered, adjusting her head on my chest. I softly sweep the sleep-ruined hair out of her face. "Babygirl, your head feels hot, are you feeling okay?" "Yeah," she groaned as I raked my fingers through her sweaty hair. "I think you might be running a fever, let me go and get the thermometer," I said with furrowed brows, walking to the shelf. "Here, put this under your tongue," my voice soft as I climb up next to her. "I don't want to," she grunted, shaking her heavy head away. "Baby, you have to, I have to see how high your temperature is," I raked my fingers through her hair again. "You're sweating so much, you might need a bath," "I don't want to." "Well, you have to," I grabbed her chin, causing her to furrow her brows in question. "Put this under your tongue," I softly spoke as she opened her mouth. "There you go, now I will go get you a bath started," I said leaving him once again. "Jesus honey, 100.9 F," I sighed, checking the thermometer. "Mmm," she grunted, shifting her position. "Come on, you need a bath, you're sweating." "Do I have to get up?" "Yes, it will make you feel better," "I just want to lay here," she mumbled. "You need to get up baby," "I know," her voice weak as she finally opened her eyes. "Can you get up on your own?" "Yeah, I just feel a little dizzy," she shook her head, rubbing her eyes. "Come on, let's get you in the bath, I think it will help," I said helping her stand up. "Here you go, have a seat- be careful," I sighed helping her sit on the toilet. "Come on, let's get you undressed," "Like what you see?" She gave a weak smile. "Really?" "Sorry," she let out a breathy laugh as she stood up to take off her pants. "You got it?" "Yeah, I got it," she mumbled, hooking his thumbs under his waistline. "Okay, I'm gonna get your clothes ready if you need anything," I softly spoke, watching her get undressed. "Okay, I will let you know," she nodded, settling in the water. I stood there, hesitant to leave her in such a state.

"Joel?" I heard from inside the bathroom "yeah? Are you okay?" "Yeah, I am, but could you get my back? I have tried but my arms are a little weak right now," she rolled her eyes handing me the wash cloth. "Yeah, of course" I grabbed the wash cloth as I sat on the edge of the tub. "Thank you Joel," "you don't have to thank me," I smiled slowly dragging the wash cloth across her back. "I mean it, really, thank you, you didn't have to do this," she gave me a weak smile.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked when she sat on the foot of our bed in nothing but a fluffy towel. "Yeah," she nodded, "do you want me to make you something to eat?" I questioned, placing her clothes on the bed next to her. "No, I am good, but thank you," she laughed, messing with her messy, wet hair. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure," she said, with a soft smile.

I stared at her perfect and soft skin. The scent of her favorite freshly sprayed perfume... "Are you okay?" "Yeah, just taking you in hun." "Why?" She cocked her brow with a knowing smile. "Because I love you, I was worried for a minute." "You have taken care of me many times like this, we'll be just fine," "I know, but it's different now I can't explain it, but it just is," I sighed, shaking my head.

Reader

3 days left... I have 3 days left with the man of my dreams. The past 4 days were spent tangled up in sheets and long days waiting for him to come home to me. "Baby, I'm home!" His voice echoed throughout the house as he entered the living room. "I'm in the kitchen, I'm making' your favorite!" I said with a smile, hearing his heavy boots crossing the house. "You treat me so good baby girl," "and you treat me even better," I gasp when I turn and see the flowers in his hand. "What's the special occasion?" I questioned before placin' a swift kiss on his lips. "Nothin' much, the owner of the house we're buildin' wanted to thank us, and Tommy had mentioned you earlier that day and she remembered so she gave me some flowers for you," he smiled. "And they just so happen to be my favorite flowers?" "She may have had a very large garden," he gave a shy smile.

"You are somethin' else Mr. Miller, but thank you they are beautiful," I smiled, bending down to get a vase from the cupboard. "And you are even more beautiful then them flowers, why don't you take a break and let me take care of the food and put those flowers in some water?" He hummed, "no baby, you just got home, rest and put your feet up- Plus the food is almost done," "now I know you are lyin', just let me help-" "Joel Miller, you have worked a 12 hour shift, if you don't let me take care of you-" "You'll do what?" "I don't know, I'll tie you down or somethin'" I laughed. "I just want to help," "okay, how about you set the table and then you can go ahead and pick out a movie we can watch after?" I shrug, "I swear it's like you don't want me in here," he gave a faux pout, "you can come back, I just want you to pick the movie because I will take forever to pick one," I laughed "mhmm," he rolled his eyes playfully.

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The soft knock at the door woke me from the light sleep I was in. I look to Joel who is fast asleep, grabbing his phone from his lap- 4:30 in the morning. 3 missed calls from Sarah- Okay... The knock draws my attention from the phone. "Can I help you- What are you doing here at this time of night?" "Technically it's in the the morning-" "Sarah, answer me," "I just wanted to come by and say sorry-" "Why now?" "Because I thought it was the right thing to do-" "I mean why at this time? You know your dad goes to work early in the morning, why didn't you come by after he got off? Or call him after work?" "Why are you sounding like you're my mom-" "Why the fuck would you even say that? I am not trying to sound like your mom, I am talkin' to you like a person so I'm sorry if you can't handle someone talkin' to you right. If you want to talk to your dad you can come back after he gets off of work," I rolled my eyes stepping back. "But you're going to tell him about what I said right?" "No Sarah, I am not," "why not?" "Because I am not your fuckin' messenger! You are a big girl you deal with it, or is it all just an act to make you look cooler for your boyfriend?" I scoffed.

"You have no right to say that-" "I honestly don't care about what you have to say, I just want to go back to sleep and for you to stop talkin' all this crazy shit because I am gettin' really tired of it-" "Both of you get in this damn house, now!" he yelled pullin' me with him. "Dad, I just wanted to say how sorry-" "I don't care how sorry you are or were, I don't care. What I do want to know is why are you here?" "Because I missed you, and I wanted to talk to you-" "Sarah for once in your life be honest with me," he sighed plopin' himself on the empty loveseat next to me.

"See this is what she does to people dad, she turns them against me-" "Do I have to keep remindin' you? I met her first. I knew her first. I know how she is, I was there for her and she was there for me- And it was not in a romantic way... We were actually friends, and it may be hard for you to hear this but... I know her better than you could ever know. She- Her- I know her, I have been there for her, you have made her second guess everything with me! I love her and I hate to say it but I will choose her over anyone at this point-"

"Joel-" "No, she needs to hear this so she can get it through her thick ass skull, you fucked up. You tried to ruin something you knew you couldn't. I love you I really do... But the way you have been actin' over these past few years- It really has me questionin' how I raised you, so you can leave now because I am done with this. I don't have the patience to forgive you right now." He sighed standing from the loveseat...

"But dad-" "No Sarah I am done, I have been done for years!" "Then why didn't you put a stop to it years ago?" "Because of her! You were her friend, after you started actin' like your mom she was my friend then you became her friend... After you stared behaving like you are now- You were just a friend of my best friend-" "Dad-" "No, you don't get to call me dad if you are going to be actin' like that because I am so damn tired of you actin' like a child so if yo don't mind get the hell out of our house if you ain't gonna act right," he huffed pushing past her.

"Y/N, tell him something!" "Like what Sarah? What a shitty friend you have been? Or the fact that you basically sabotaged everything good that happened to me?" "No, like that I am his daughter or something like that!" She yelled as he tiredly drug his feet up the stairs. "I'm sorry Sarah, I can't say anything that will change his mind, he has to come to that decision on his own... So just give him time and stop doing stupid shit, now please leave so I can go talk to him," I sighed pointing to the door, "fine whatever, you are always the-" "Stop talkin' if you want to get on anyones good side, I fuckin' mean it," I glared at her, without anymore words or even a look she walked out the door like she was told.

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The last day... This is my last day with him. "Baby?" He yelled from the living room, "yes?" "Can you come and help me?" "Sure?" I laughed at the concern in his voice. "What do you need my help with?" "Nothin' hard or anythin' it's just in the kitchen," "okay, but if you are plannin' on cookin' remember I made reservations-" "Surprise!" He yelled steppin' out of the view of the table. "Joel what is this?" I gasped,

"it's a goin' away gift, you have been treating me so good as you usually do and I felt like I haven't been puttin' in my work unless you count orgasms but I just felt like you needed more from me," "oh baby, I didn't need any of this but thank you so much for this! I love it," I place a deep and passionate kiss on his lips. "Thank you, for the cake, the flowers, the candles, the lightin', and thank you for bein' you Joel... I mean it, I couldn't of asked for a better man than you," I smiled as he took my hand in his. "All right stop being all romantic and go get ready for dinner," he laughed pushin' me away, "yes sir, whatever you say," I playfully shoved him.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

"Home at last," he smiled puttin' the truck in park "thank you for tonight Joel, I had so much fun," "good, I'm glad you did," "I can't wait for the first break back," "I really do wish you didn't take the first month seriously so you can come and visit," "you see, I want to believe that you don't mean that I know you mean that with every bone in your body," I laughed opening the door to the truck.

The feelin' of walkin' into our home is a feelin' I could live off of for the rest of my life. "Thank you for tonight, I know I said that already but I just can't thank you enough," I gave a lazy smile as I linked my arms around his neck "Baby you never have to thank me, I love doin' anythin' for you- You know there is one thing you could do for me," "which is?" "You can kiss me now, I have been waitin' for you to give me one and you have been ignorin' me here," "I literally gave you one before we got off the truck," "yeah but now we are in our house, so I want one now," he looked at me with those faux puppy dog eyes. "You are such a pain in the ass you know that Miller," "I sure do, and you ain't gettin' rid of me either," I rolled my eyes before placin' a sweet kiss on his lips before pullin' away.

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"You know you are very tempting?" "I know," I smirked as he gripped my chin with a bit of force. "This black dress you are wearing shows off your beautiful curves, I mean the way your breasts just fit so perfectly in that black laced bra you are wearing is just mmm," he softly groaned at the thought. "You drive me insane, I could just bend you over this counter and fuck you senselessly," he rasped, he dropped my chin moving to my hair, making a fist in my messy waves "oh you would like that wouldn't you?" I hummed turning my gaze.

"Oh you know I would love that, having your perfect body in my hands falling apart as I pound into you," he gripped my chin forcing me to look into his eyes. "you are such a brat," "oh and what are you doing to do about it? Spank me?" I playfully scoffed. "I just might baby, bend you over my knee and paint your ass a pretty shade of red," I whimper at the thought of having his hands on me in any way he wants. "Mmm such a pretty mouth," he gripped my jaw with his large hand "thank you," I smirked. "Look at those pleading eyes, what do you want? Say it," He growled, "please fuck me Sir," my voice drippin' with lust. His gaze turned dark as he attached his lips to my body. Sucking and biting "fuck Joel you'll leave hickeys" I moaned, clawing at his broad shoulders.

"That's the point, you. Are. Mine." He groaned through every bite "fuck you taste so good baby" all I could do was moan. So lost in pleasure I failed to realize that his thick fingers have been playin' with my clit "fuck I'm gonna cum fuck-" I was cut off by my own moan "then cum for me, my beautiful girl." With is words of encouragement my back arches against his chest. "Fuck.. yes just like that" I scream as my orgasm took over, as I catch my breath Joel licks his fingers clean "mmm you taste good baby girl" he pulls his fingers out of is mouth and brings them towards mine. "Suck" he commands as a smirk danced on his face, I obey, wrappin' my lips around his thick fingers "good girl" he praised.

"Fuck baby you look so sexy in this dress" he groaned, tracing my curves teasingly over the thin fabric. "oh look at of all my work" he teases while tracing over the recovering hickeys on my chest, toying with the neck of my dress slightly pullin' down, then down to my breast. "No bra? Naughty girl," he tsked. "Strip, leave your panties on for me like a good girl," "yes Sir," I whisper, lost in his piercing gaze. The strings to my dress beggin' to come undone faster then I can move. Untying the cute bow I secured them in, slowly draggin' the dress down, against my body.

"So pretty, all for me?" "Yes Sir, I'm all yours," my voice above a whisper. "Why so quiet now? Hm? You were usin' that pretty mouth so well not that long ago, what happened?" "I-" the words caught in my throat, the look of pure lust written on his face is hypnotizin'. "Come on baby girl use your words for Daddy, be a real good girl for me princess," his voice hoarse.

"Please," "please what baby doll? Want me to touch you? Make you feel good?" "Yes Sir," "what's the magic word?" "Please?" "Such a good girl, always uses her manners. Always so good, I can't wait to ruin you," his smirk never fading as he inched closer to my almost naked body.

His hand made it's way up to my breast, "so pretty, so fuckin' pretty," he groaned pinchin' and rollin' a nipple between his fingers. The whimper that broke free from my throat when the pain of his finger tips crashin' down on my nipple, leavin' a string of pain and pleasure behind in it's wake was pure pornographic. Quick to cover my mouth to stop the moan from fallin' out.

"No baby let me hear how good I make you feel, I want to hear those sexy moans of yours" he whispered against my lips, slipping his hand into my panties. "Please, please, please Sir," I chant like a prayer, "so wet for me already?" He teasingly asked, smiled knowingly. "Only for you, Daddy- shit" I moan as he circled my clit in a perfect motion making me see stars.

"I'm going to cum" I moan quietly "cum for me" he commands, "cum for me, now," his husky voice sending shivers down my spine. "Be my pretty slut, cum on my fingers," "I don't wanna cum yet-" "Don't care, cum," his pace brutal as he sank two thick finger into me. "Good girl, taking my fingers so good," his words corrupt my brain as I release on his fingers. Strugglin' to catch my breath, he wraps his lips around his fingers. "I didn't think dinner could beat how good you taste, open wide for me," he smiles, slidin' his fingers into my mouth.

With a smirk I push him till the backs of his knees hit couch, pushin' him down, straddlin' his thick thighs. "what are you doin' princess?" He questioned raising a brow "nothin' Daddy," I say innocently rocking my hips "fuck baby girl just like that you look so sexy like this," "Joel, you make me feel so good, you haven't even fucked me yet and I'm already a mess for you," I moaned grinding myself on his bulge. "You sound so sexy moaning my name" his breath hitched as I lick a long strip on his neck, sucking softly when I found his sweet spot.

"Fuck baby" he moaned, trappin' hid bottom lip between his teeth, I suck my way down to his exposed collarbones, "off please," "anything you want baby girl," his face lit up with pleasure. "Fuck you are so sexy no wonder why everyone wants you" I groan, holding his gaze. "But you are the only one that can have me" he said with lustful eyes.

I run my hand along his body as I sink between his thick thighs, "look at how hard you are for me, I haven't even takin' you out yet and yet you are still so big," my voice dippin' with lust as I unzip his jeans. "Look at you Joel, god I fuckin' love you," I whisper, tuggin' his boxers along with his rough jeans down. "You okay baby?" He questioned when I stoped to take him in. "Yeah, it's just that you are mine, I have you all to myself," my tone hushed as I run my fingers on the inner sides of his thighs, tracing the nearly healed bruises I marked him with days ago.

"I have always belonged to you, there was never a doubt," he whispered leavin' small strokes on my hair. Watching the way his cock twitched under my gaze, "baby, you just gonna look at me all night?" "I just might Mr. Miller," I smirked, takin' his cock in my hands. I love how responsive he is to my touch. The moan that leaves his chest with a deep rumble sends pure warmth of pride to my chest.

"I love you," I whispered before takin' into my mouth. "I love you, god I love you. Fuck you you treat me so good baby," he groaned lollin' his head. "Joel, look at me," "what?" "Look at me, I want you to watch me while I fuck you with my mouth," I grinned, watching his eyes roll to the back of his head.

"You are so fuckin' good baby girl, god I love your mouth," his hips creatin' their our pace, "just like that, just like that princess- Fuck takin' me so well," his moans bounce off the wall as he fisted my hair, takin' over. His thrust harsh as he chases the warmth of my mouth, "you know, I'm gonna be thinkin' of this night for weeks right? Fistin' my cock till I cum just thinkin' of your pretty fuckin' mouth on me like this. Thinkin' of that tight cunt wrapped around me, takin' me so well- Fuck just like that, look at me- Keep your eyes on me," he rasped, the pace he set is brutal- Fuck I love it.

He pulled me off of his cock with a pop and a thick string of saliva connecting us. "Climb up, my pretty baby," he smiled, pullin' my up by my hair. He placed a soft and passionate kiss on my lips as he pulled my panties to the side.

"Please," I whimpered through the kiss, "please what? You want me to fuck you?" "Yes, please Sir," I cried for him, "such a good girl," he moaned, pulling on my hair forcing out a pleasureful whimper, fuck he's so sexy. Archin' my back, forcin' my breasts into his face "I have missed these," he hummed burring his face in my breasts slowly sliding his cock into me.

"You are so perfect, made just for me. Takin' me so well baby, you are doing so good," he whispered into my shoulder as I just take him and moan. "Shit baby girl, right there," he shuttered into the nape of my neck "god this feels so perfect, you are mine." He whispered into my ear.

"I'm all yours, you can be the only one who can destroy me," I gasp when he shifted into a deeper position. "No one else can fuck you, or even touch you... All mine." "Oh fuck, Joel just like that please, I'm so close," I begged as he started thrusting up into me.

My orgasm over took me as he set a brutal pace, chasin' his own high. I clenched tightly around him as the pleasure began to feel painfully good. "Fuck Joel," I cry, my eyes makin' their way to the back of my head. "Cum in me, I want you so deep in me Joel," I moaned, my legs shaking from the pleasure I'm endurin', "all mine," he groaned.

"Shit baby girl you will make me cum-fuck!" He moaned with a shaky voice and with one last thrust he shot his hot and thick cum into me."Yes just like that baby, doin' so good for me- Fuck yes- Oh my god Darlin'," he moaned with a shaky breath.

"Please Joel, show me how good I make you feel," I rasp pullin' him impossibly closer. "You are so perfect, my princess, my everything- Shit I'm so close baby," his voice hoarse as his movements faltered.

With one last powerful thrust he shot thick ropes of his hot cum deep in me. I felt his thighs shaking beneath me, "you okay Joel?" I questioned as his moans went silent. "I'm doin' just fine Darlin', how about we take a nice long bath hm?" "I would love that very much, carry me?" "'Course baby, I want to keep some of me inside of you as long as I can, I don't need you drippin' me everywhere now do I?" "You were doin' so good Joel, then you have to say shit like that," I playfully shove his shoulder. After our long bath we both decided that is was best to stay in bed all night

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He's watching a silly movie that was on tv, a movie that I stoped paying attention to a long time ago, he laughed as he raked his long fingers through his hair. I can't even take my eyes off of him, "what?" He asked with his smile that melts my heart.

"How did I get so lucky to be here, with you?" "No, it's the other way around," he playfully scoffed leanin' in for a kiss, "you look so perfect in this lighting" he smiled, playin' with my hair. "See that is where you are wrong," I smiled, grabbing my old Polaroid I rolled onto his lap. "I love you in this lightin'," I giggled, takin' a picture.

"See you look even better in this lightin',' I planted a swift kiss on his lips climbin' off his lap, "come lay down with me," I whispered pulling him close to my chest. "This feels nice," he sighed wrappin' his arms around my waist as he lays between my legs "this does," I matched his low tone, playin' with his hair. Sleep over took us and we stayed in our own little world for a bit longer that night.

⊹・・──────・・୨୧・・──────・・ ⊹

1 Month Later

"So where are you going for the extended weekend?" "To my boyfriends, what about you?" I asked while packin' my book bag. "To my mom's- You are going to see your man and you are taking your books?" "What? We have an exam next week," I laughed, "yeah on Thursday, okay so is he coming to pick you up or?" "No, I was hopin' to surprise him at home because he should be gettin' back from lunch by now," I say checkin' my watch.

A soft knock echoed through our quiet dorm, "can you get that? I know Nancy was bringing' everyone 'see you soon' cookies," "yeah, I got it," she said hoppin' off her bed. "Tell her I want 2!" I softly yell as she opened the door, "okay but it's not Nancy- It's for you," "what do you mean?" I questioned as she pushed open the door. "Joel! You made it!" I yelled hoppin' in his arms, "'course I made it, I told you I would be here and here I am," he laughed spinnin' me around.

"How? You're supposed to be at work right now," "I got off early- Well technically I requested it weeks ago but still," "but I wanted to surprise you!" I gave a fax pout and a playful push. "And I wanted to do the same... So I win," "oh shut up Miller," I laughed, placin' a kiss on his lips.

"Careful she has books and she just might hit you with them," she chuckled "the sad thing is that she already has-" "Oh shut up, Eva this is Joel, Joel this is Eva my roommate," "it's nice to meet the man she has been talking about," "yeah iand it's nice to meet the girl she will not shut up about- I mean it's like she loves you more than me," he laughed.

"Well I think she loves those books more than us- We might be out numbered," they laughed. "Both of you shut up, I want to go home y'all are mean," I giggled, "okay let's get you home, hm?" "Bye Eva, see you Sunday," "yeah you two have fun- Not to much fun," she eyed me "yeah, yeah, bye," I shushed trappin' her in a tight hug.

Hoppin' in his truck as he put my bags in the back, "stop," "what?" "Stop stearin'," "I'm not," "I can feel you lookin' at me Darlin'," "I am allowed to look," "then so am I," he chuckled and he shut his door. "So how's Sarah?" "She's good, she uh- She got into a good rehab place," "it got that bad?" "Yeah, nut she's workin' on herself so there's that," "that's good Joel," "yeah, now let's get you home," "yes Sir," I smiled, placin' my hand in his.

And they lived happily every after

The End

(I know this isn't the best but it'll be fine ig lol)

[nemmennem]

sacrificial lamb [teen male reader x Hazbin Hotel Part Prologue]

1965

U.S.A

Texas

"Good morning miss, would you like to talk about God?"

Closed doors were your answer...

My name is Charlie, im 16 years old, i live in San Antonio, im 5'7, i have two younger sibling's, i have short blond curly hair and blue eyes, my favorite color is white... I belive in god, Catholic denomination to be precise. Im doing everything to get closer to him, avoiding sin, doing virtues, I also help convert others, although it is a bit intrusive.

I was walking home from spreading faith in god when i met them

Satanist... they multiplied like rabbits, There were more and more of them from week to week, It saddened me how many souls wandered away from God in this way

"hey lamb, you haven't gone too far from your flock"

"no"

I just walked by them in direction of my house

----------------------------------[Time skip]--------------------------------

the dinner your mother made was delicious

Now I had to threw the trash out... what could go wrong

I left house and walked to bin...

Then everything just went black...

May God take care of me

----------------------------------[Time skip]--------------------------------

I woke up in strange place, red and gray was dominant colors, on sky was big pentagram, scream's and explosions could be hear all time

I got up and looked around, my appearance had changed, my hair had a sheep's wool texture, my skin was a shade of gray, I had hooves instead of normal feet and my ears were sheep's

I was in some valley, i walked to the street...

Bloody hell... IM IN HELL!

There were demons and other devils walking the streets, that would explain the noises. Next to me there was a display of televisions, each of them was playing an advertisement. I don't want to be rude, but the quality of the recording was not the best and there was definitely room for improvement, the quality of the services that were advertised didn't seem to be the best either, but the type of services, that was already interesting, redemption from hell, I don't even know why I went to it, but the possibility of improvement and going to heaven… sounds appealing

I feel I will go visit this hotel

------------------------------[Time Skip]---------------------------------

Good grief how did i not die? Can you even die in hell?

I knocked on the door of the hazbin hotel

The door was opened by a cheerful woman, she had blonde hair, her pupils were red and her irises were yellow, she seemed nice

"Welcome to Hazbin hotel"

[goodgrammaritan]

I started this draft literally 4 years ago. It's not done, but it's got some good memories and photos.

Gratitude Journal

Here it is, a long post about my glorious pets. There are four so strap in.

Freya

She was our first dog. We adopted her shortly after we got married, over Memorial Day weekend in 2013. At the time we lived in a condo with an HOA, and the size limit for dogs was 15 pounds (we thought it was 20). The rescue told us Freya was unlikely to get bigger than 20 pounds, so we put in our application and then drove the four hours to San Antonio to go pick her up (adoption photo below).

It was a rainy day. We met the fosterer at a playground and signed the papers there. Freya was ours. We spent the drive back feeding her chicken treats and living with her subsequent farts. She was fearful, shy, and wouldn't poop for love or money at any of the rest stops (photo of her size at the time we adopted her).

We took her to our local vet and discovered that despite the rescuers' weight estimate, she was already 30 pounds. Because of this we snuck her out through the iron fence at the back of the condo property. There was one opening between the bars that was slightly wider than the others, and we used this for all walks and waste.

After a month, we got a letter from the HOA stating we were in violation of the rules, and we either had to get rid of the dog or plead our case to the leaders of the HOA. Obviously we weren't going to get rid of her, so, armed with a letter from my psychiatrist touting the benefits of pet ownership for those with depression, and my husband in uniform, we went to the meeting.

It was nerve-racking. They asked us why we didn't get a smaller dog, and we told them we were told the dog wouldn't get above 20 pounds, so we weren't knowingly breaking the rules. They said if emotional support animal were so great, how about I got a smaller one instead of this one?

In the end, nothing was verbally decided, and we continued to be as discreet as possible with our oversized dog until November 2015 when we thankfully moved to a house with no weight limits.

Freya is a calm dog. She (mostly) obeys commands, hates storms, and gets startled by her own squeaky farts. She's not really a cuddler in that she'll never initiate it, but she loves a good belly rub. And there was one night I was down in the depths and feeling the urge for self-harm, and this non-cuddly dog let me lie down on her bed and spoon with her, and with her help I restrained myself.

She's 8 now, but still very active. Her youthful vigor seemed to have been restored with the addition of her dog brother Soko (more on him later). And she's 60 pounds.

2024 addition:

When Freya was 9, she had 3 valves in her liver fail and a mass form. She spent 5 nights at the emergency vet, on a million meds, an IV in each leg. She was scheduled for surgery, but the morning of, the doctors called us and said that the course of meds had shrunk the mass and she could come home. We had said goodbye the previous night, just in case, but it was a literal miracle. We made a spreadsheet for the times and amounts of the ten medications they sent us home with, some needing to be taken on an empty stomach, some food, some not within an hour of another med... But she recovered. And remained active. And we got three more years with her.

Freya was 11 years and 9 months old when we had to put her down.

She was having trouble standing and walking and we thought it was joint pain, but then she had a seizure on the Fourth of July (just SO Freya, having an emergency when everything is closed), so we took her to the vet the next day. Had to carry her into the exam room, and they wheeled her back out to the car on a cart. It was neurological, they said, and either a tumor, stroke, or epilepsy. They gave us some meds and told us if it wasn't serious, we should see improvement within a day.

She didn't improve. We could tell she was struggling. She hadn't pooped in 3 days because she couldn't get outside. (How unnecessarily considerate of her not to mess on the rug, again, SO Freya.) So we took her in yesterday and they put her to sleep. The vets were very kind.

Old pic:

Pics from last week:

Pic from yesterday:

2024: The rest of this I wrote four years ago. No energy to expand.

Ikki

The summer of 2015 the parking lots of our condo complex were seemingly overrun with feral cats. I would spend some evenings sitting on the curb outside with an open can of tuna, feeding those who were brave enough to approach. I informally named them, all with character names from Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra. The bold one was Beifong, a shyer one Jinora, etc.

One night after sneaking in through the back fence after a walk with Freya, we heard a persistent, relentless meowing. Noah and I couldn’t determine the source, but Freya located a tiny kitten under one of the cars. We hurried to get tuna and we fed the little thing.

Every day after work I fed the kitten. We got cheap cat food to replace the tuna. She usually hid under a car across the drive from our condo. I’d go upstairs, get the food, come back down and cross back over to her.

Shortly before Labor Day weekend, our plans for buying a house fell through. We were deeply disappointed—we’d been planning to move over the long weekend, but now we were staying in the condo, not moving to a bigger place, and were altogether pretty bummed. Feeding this kitten was the only bright point.

On the Friday before the holiday weekend I got off work early. When I arrived home I saw that the kitten was in her usual spot, so I raced upstairs to get her food. When I opened the front door, I saw that she had crossed the drive and mounted the stairs to our front porch for the first time.

Using a toy that Freya had never cared about, I lured the kitten into our house. It took hardly any time at all. We fed her, and we were surprised at how little fear she showed towards us. Noah said, “Well, I guess we have a cat now,” and we got better food and a litter box and all of the accoutrements needed for a new cat. Had we been moving like we planned, this would not have happened.

It rained torrentially that weekend, and we were extra glad we’d rescued the kitten. She likely would have drowned during the storms.

The next weekend, after a week of getting solid meals into this cat, she still weighed only 3.2 pounds. The vet put her at about 9 weeks old. Aside from being underfed and having a mild case of fleas, our kitten was healthy. We named her Ikki because, like the character, she was tiny and loud.

In her kittenhood Ikki loved Freya. She would curl up with Freya, nap with her, and groom her. Freya in turn was fine with the new addition to the household.

Ikki is still tiny (barely 10 pounds) and loud. She whines when we walk near her, when the other animals approach her, and when she comes in the pet door. She’s extremely talkative.

She’s also a hunter. She’s brought down a few birds and snakes, one frog, and notably, she once brought a bat into the house (we rescued it from her and it flew off just fine).

She loves being pet and seeks us out for snuggles. She enjoys having her fur brushed. She likes to be held like an infant, her purrs immediate and audible.

Bumi

He

Soko

He

(sometime in 2020 and 7/7/24)

[probably-impossible]

Signs & Wonders

Tuco made a hasty sign of the cross. “Blondie, y- you…” he stammered. “You have…”

“What?” Blondie could feel Tuco’s panic spreading to him. His stomach twisted with apprehension. “What do I have?”

Tuco hesitated for a moment, biting his lip. Then he spread his arms. “Wings!” he said. “Great big white feathery wings!”

Day 3 entry for @dollarstrilogyevent

The man known as Blondie was not religious. But he was only a man. Deep down, he was just as scared of dying as anybody else.

In the desert, with the skin peeling off his face and thirst burning his throat, in his desperation, he made a deal with God.

I'll do anything, be whatever you want me to be, just don't let me die here…

No one making those kinds of promises expected to be bound to them. He certainly hadn't. After all, he was the furthest thing you could find from a saint. Worse than evil, he was apathy walking; he was a greedy drifter with nothing in his life worth saving. Of all the prayers from better men that God wouldn't grant, it seemed unfair for his to be answered.

But then he'd started seeing miracles. A Confederate army wagon had appeared out of nowhere, just in time to save him. Tuco, the inveterate sinner, had taken him to a Catholic mission, where holy men had washed his face and tended his wounds. And he'd recovered, against all odds. Despite his unbelief, God had taken him up on his offer.

Now it appeared that He was holding Blondie to his end of the bargain. Because that was the only possible explanation for any of this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He and Tuco had just left the mission in San Antonio when he started to feel an itching between his shoulder blades. No matter how much he scratched at it, the feeling wouldn't go away.

Tuco shot him a glance. “You got a rash or something?”

Blondie scowled silently back at him. Tuco rolled his eyes. “Then stop fidgeting so much. This wagon ride is bumpy enough as it is.”

Blondie shoved his hands into his pockets and tried to ignore the feeling. It worked for a little bit. He figured he must have gotten sunburned back there and just hadn't noticed until now.

But after a while, the itching graduated to a sharp pain, sharp enough that even he couldn't ignore it anymore. Pain, and a sense of pressure. It felt like something pushing against his skin from beneath.

After a while he realized he was sweating and clenching his fists in his pockets. He doubled over, and his vision started to go fuzzy.

He could hear Tuco saying something, then the wagon slowly came to a stop. He tried to step down from the bench, but stumbled and landed face-down in the dirt. On his hands and knees, he arched his back and clenched his jaw.

The pressure in his back built and built, and his body twitched and jerked as whatever was growing inside him strained to get out. Finally, he felt a searing explosion of pain that turned his vision white.

Something burst through his skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He must have gone unconscious for a few minutes. He didn't remember how he'd ended up on the ground, exactly. There was a dull ache that ran from his shoulder blades down to the small of his back.

He took a moment to catch his breath. Above him, he could hear Tuco yammering in frightened Spanish. He felt a weight on top of him, like a thick blanket. Had Tuco covered him with something?

Slowly, he pushed himself back up to his hands and knees, then stood. He swayed, feeling oddly off-balance. The weight on his back was still there. And he was experiencing strange sensations. Something dragging in the dust behind him… something ruffling in the breeze. His own body felt wrong, somehow. Different.

Behind him, Tuco stood pressed up against the wagon, looking at him with wide eyes. “La hostia!”

“Hey, that's blasphemy,” Blondie said, then blinked. He didn't know why he cared all of a sudden.

Tuco made a hasty sign of the cross. “Blondie, y- you…” he stammered. “You have…”

“What?” Blondie could feel Tuco’s panic spreading to him. His stomach twisted with apprehension. “What do I have?”

Tuco hesitated for a moment, biting his lip. Then he spread his arms. “Wings!” he said. “Great big white feathery wings!”

Blondie froze. “Quit fooling around.”

“I'm not fooling! I never fool! Look!” Tuco pointed at him. “They're huge!”

Blondie didn't move. He didn't want to. “You've gone crazy,” he said. “The heat got to you and you finally snapped.”

Tuco let out a frustrated groan. “You're the one who's crazy! All you gotta do is turn your head!”

“Don't feel like it.”

“You stubborn son of a—!”

Tuco lunged suddenly towards him, reaching past his shoulder. Blondie ducked away from his grasp, but still felt fingers close around his… his… He jerked as something pulled at his still-sore shoulder blades. “Tch—! Let go, you—!”

“No!” Tuco gave another sharp tug. “Not until you look!”

Blondie gritted his teeth. He looked.

Over his shoulder, he could see, sure enough, a huge wing, like a bird's. It was covered in pure white feathers that seemed almost iridescent in the sunlight. It had to be at least eight feet long, and it was firmly attached to his back.

Tuco had his grubby fingers buried in the feathers at the other end of it. By itself his grip didn't hurt, but it felt deeply strange; a touch in a place his mind was still telling him should not exist.

True to his word, though, Tuco let go when he saw Blondie turn his head. “I told you,” he said. “Wings.”

Blondie swallowed. He looked down the length of the wing and watched the feathers flutter slightly in the breeze. He looked over his other shoulder; there was a wing there, too. They were both very, very real. He tried extending them, and they unfolded clumsily, their tips dragging along the ground. He reached out and touched one. It was surprisingly soft.

“Wings,” he echoed numbly. He had wings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later, he sat on the seat of the wagon with his shoulders hunched, doing his best to keep the wings folded up over his back while Tuco drove. But it wasn't easy. Every time the wagon went over a bump in the road, the wings would be jostled from their position and start unfurling. They were huge and unwieldy and awkward, and they had ruined his sense of space. He'd had a very difficult time climbing back onto the seat of the wagon at all, with the wings flailing around and bumping against the canvas. At least they hadn't spooked the horses.

The wagon jolted as it hit a rock, and Blondie’s left wing flew free and smacked Tuco in the face.

“Ay pendejo, watch it!” Tuco snapped, batting it away. “How am I supposed to see where we're going with your feathers in my eyes?!”

Blondie didn't respond. He didn't feel like talking. Instead he wanted to burn through his cigarillos and not think about anything.

Tuco scowled at him. “Hey, are you even listening to me?” He huffed. “Just because you grew a big pair of chicken wings doesn't mean you have to sit there moping all day. I need you to keep a lookout. We're getting close to the fighting, there might be soldiers around.”

Blondie frowned at him. “You act like you're used to them already.”

Tuco shrugged. “There are two types of people in the world, my friend: people who can accept whatever this life throws at them, no matter how strange it is, and people who can't. You've got to be the first type of person if you want to survive like I do.”

“Yeah, well, easy enough for you to say,” Blondie muttered. “They ain't your wings.”

Tuco threw up his hands. “What do you want me to say?! That I think you're a freak? Fine, you're a freak! Your unnatural appearance frightens and confuses me. Is that what you were waiting for? Now you can either stop sulking and make yourself useful, or you can jump off this wagon and fly to the cemetery.”

Blondie glowered at the scenery. He still felt he should be allowed to sulk for a while. He furled the wings as tightly over his back as he could.

“Wait a minute,” Tuco mumbled. He stroked his mustache with his free hand. “Now that's an idea. Yeah… that's a good idea.”

Blondie gave him a sideways glance, narrowing his eyes. He liked Tuco even less than usual when he got ideas.

Tuco just grinned at him. “You really could fly up and look around.”

“Fly.”

“Yes, fly, what are you, deaf?” Tuco pointed towards the clear sky above them. “You'd probably be able to see for miles from up there. And then we could avoid the war altogether! Just think about it: those wings could save me—I mean, us—a whole pile of trouble.”

Blondie had to spend a minute processing this. His gut instincts rebelled against the suggestion; he didn't want to be Tuco’s scouting pigeon. But it made sense. It was a good idea. “I don’t even know if I can fly with these.”

“What? What else would they be for, huh, estúpido?” Tuco stopped the wagon and started trying to push Blondie from the seat. “Come on! There's no way to know if you don't try!”

Blondie gave him a glare but hopped down of his own accord. He stumbled; his center of gravity still felt off. But after some wobbling he managed to right himself. He took a few steps away from the wagon and glanced around. He and Tuco and the horses were the only living things out here.

Tuco was watching him expectantly, with a nasty little smile on his nasty little face. Blondie didn't want that gaze on him while he did this. He started to walk around to the other side of the wagon. When he got there, though, he saw Tuco lying on his stomach in the back, supporting his head in his hands and kicking his legs. He grinned. “Don't let me distract you.”

Blondie narrowed his eyes and took a few steps backwards. There was nothing around but empty flatland, stretching off into the distance. He extended his wings and tried flapping them a few times. Their size made them slow and he had to push hard against the air, but he felt his heels lift a bit before the dust cloud his wings had kicked up swallowed him. He coughed, fanning red dirt away from his face and backing up a few more steps.

He glanced at his wings, then up at the horizon. For some reason, he was apprehensive about this. …Should be able to, it's what they're for… He clenched and unclenched his fingers. Only thing to do was to try.

He spread his wings and took a running leap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Bah ha ha ha ha ha!” Tuco doubled over and practically rolled out of the wagon. “Oh man, I think my sides are gonna burst! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!”

Blondie lay face-down in the dirt, wings akimbo. He had decided not to move from where he'd face-planted on his fourth attempt. So far his new appendages had done nothing but betray him.

He heard Tuco’s footsteps drawing towards him, still laughing. “You looked like a blind pigeon! Ha ha ha ha ha ha… You looked like a chicken having a seizure!”

“Hrrnngh.”

Tuco crouched down and poked at his feathers. “Hey, you didn't break any bones, did you? If you're dying again you'll tell me the name on the grave, won't you?”

“M'fine.” Blondie tensed when Tuco touched his wing. He was pretty sure his feathers were disheveled, and he felt like a cat being pet the wrong way. He shook Tuco off and pulled himself up to a sitting position.

“Ha ha ha… I guess pigs still can't fly.” Tuco plopped down into the dirt next to him. “I'm serious, you know, your feathers look messed up. Here, let me just—”

“Don't touch me.”

“You quit being so pissy! You think you're gonna be able to fix this shit by yourself? You got extendable arms too, huh?!”

Blondie scowled, but he didn't pull away when Tuco’s hands found his wings again.

“Whiny bird-bastard, can't even accept a favor from the goodness of Tuco’s heart,” Tuco grumbled. His fingers dug into the soft, downy feathers near Blondie’s shoulders and gently combed them back into place.

The touch sent a shiver through Blondie's entire body. His breath caught for a moment. That felt… really good. So good, in fact, that it was almost…

Tuco stroked his wings again and he had to bite his tongue to keep from making an embarrassing noise. Apparently that area was … sensitive. “‘S enough,” he mumbled. “Do the— the bigger ones instead.”

“Huh? Why?”

“...”

“Oh, alright.” Tuco shifted position and started working his way towards the tip of his left wing. Blondie sighed. By contrast, this just felt pleasant. Tuco's hands were warm on his wings as they swept the dust from him and smoothed his errant feathers back into place. He wouldn't admit it, but it was nice.

“Hey, Blondie,” Tuco said after a while. He let his hands drop. “The whole flying thing… eh, you'll get it eventually. Probably. But I, ah, shouldn't have laughed at you. Even though you did look like a dead parrot rolling down a hill.”

Blondie whipped his head around, almost smacking Tuco with his wing. “Was that an apology?”

“Don't get used to it,” Tuco sneered. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just thought to myself, you know, that Blondie, he’s had it pretty rough lately, what with sprouting big chicken wings and almost dying and everything. That can't be easy to deal with, even for a bastard like him. Maybe I should ease up on him a little bit. Maybe we could even let the whole trying-to-kill-each-other thing be bygones, eh? Call it even. After all, we're partners again.”

Blondie gave him a long look. Somehow, he could tell that Tuco was being uncharacteristically sincere. He didn't quite know how he knew.

He'd never been big on intuition, but this felt like some kind of sixth sense. If he focused on it hard enough, he could almost convince himself that there was a faint glow around him, telling him that this was good, this was a start, and he should trust it. If he’d been a religious man he might have called it a still, small voice.

Tuco had an almost sheepish look. “You know, Blondie,” he said, fiddling with the scapular around his neck. “This is gonna sound silly, but those wings don't really make you look like a chicken. Really, you look almost like … well. An angel.”

Ordinarily, Blondie would have never let Tuco forget he'd said a thing like that. But for some reason, today, he let it go.

He stood up and stretched his wings. He was starting to feel like maybe he could get used to them.

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

I am up for work and still reeling from the concert experience. I'm now watching the tapes other people have made of the Future Past tour. And some of them were very well shot.

The shirt I got was a shirt they did just for Fort Worth and San Antonio, which features Eddie as a gunslinger and has a wanted poster in the back, and the amount of the reward is $666!!

Everywhere we live people commented on our matching Revolutionary War uniforms. So that was definitely a good choice even if hubby took total credit for my idea. It was good to put them to good use because I bought them for Halloween a while back. Maybe 5 years ago. Hubby wanted one too so I got us both a shirt. But I only wore mine twice during Halloween while teaching American history. The rest of the time it just set the closet and he literally never wore his. The coolest thing was when we were walking back to our car in the absolute melee of downtown San Antonio with our lunch. We had planned on a sit-down meal but because there was no parking spaces thanks to the road construction everywhere we parked illegally and then had to rush in and get everything to go. And as we were walking back to the car people were honking at us and that was pretty cool.

People who don't take part and stuff like rock concerts are wrestling events just cannot fathom how cool the camaraderie is to run into like-minded people and share stories. We talked to so many great fans this tour. We saw people who had seen them 20 plus times. We saw people bringing their kids.

We talked to one guy who was at the Fort Worth show and then drove all night to make it to the San Antonio one.

There were so many heavy metal jackets and vests covered with patches. There were people that were far older than us and even a few older women even though it was mostly men. It was just so cool to see.

And my God for a man who is pushing 67 years old Bruce Dickinson was a Madman on that stage and he can still hit those high notes like nobody's business.

So great!!

I just wish I could wear my tour shirt to work. LOL

[beerecordings]

I kinda wanna see more Graceling AU or Bastard Cat AU 👀

oh my gosh someone cares about the graceling au!! I have snippets written of Anti's backstory but never bothered to post them.. and the main story of course is JJ finding Marvin being held prisoner in the keep near to their own. let me see what I can do my dude!

also here, have a snippet from the bastard cats au I never posted!! fair warning it's a little sad, but it is also full of kitties.

Bastard Cats AU: my fluffiest au. Chase has five cats named Anti, Marvin, Jackie, JJ, and Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein, Ph.D, MD. (One - Chase is having a bad night when he finds a very sick kitten in the gutter.)

Hakim's hands rest on his hip, his lip sticking out slightly and his eyebrows furrowed like two brown cat tails turned away from each other. He pauses as though to speak, but only ends up readjusting and shoving his hands cautiously in his pockets instead. He's looking around the apartment like it was flooded and then shot up and then taken over by the raccoons from the backyard, lounging on the couch with cheese whiz and ham sandwiches.

“Dude,” sighs Chase, feeling the air from his mouth make the end of his overgrown fringe flutter. “Just... it's fine, okay?”

Hakim blinks and, apparently reminded of where he is (or at least who's watching him), he fixes a slightly patronizing veneer of loving warmth back over his face.

“Right,” he says cheerfully. “All good! But uh... some of these are foster cats, right, C?”

“Yes,” answers Chase, a little more sharply than he intended. He crashes onto the couch, rubbing at his face, and instantly Jackie, Marvin, and two of the foster kittens are all stepping into his lap or clawing their way up his pant leg. Jackie sits down on Marvin and Marvin yowls in pure rage.

“Drama queen,” Chase scolds him, nevertheless scratching at his head. “You're fine.”

Hakim steps over and rubs his knuckles against Jackie's head. “Hey, pal. He's getting old now, isn't he?”

“No, Jack got him for me as a kitten,” replies Chase distantly. “He's just fat.”

Jackie sniffs at Hakim's fingers and licks his thumb.

“And the foster kittens?”

Chase points around the room. “There's mama, Texas.”

“Texas?”

“And the kittens are Houston, Austin, San Antonio, and Dallas.”

Hakim snorts. “Okay, fine. And the little grey one?”

Chase chews on his tongue for a second, trying to pick his words carefully.

“It's smaller than the other ones,” Hakim insists, and those hands come back out to rest on his hips again. Suddenly Chase feels like his foster mom has walked into the house to scold him for getting in a fight or leaving his skateboard in the rain.

“That,” says Chase carefully. “Is Jameson.”

Jameson waddles towards him on his kitten paws, letting out those faint, mangled mewls he does that make the other cats look at him like he just announced he was actually a corgi. Chase grins despite himself, letting his hand down for Jameson to smell. His kitten bites his finger gently and Chase can feel his tiny teeth coming in.

“Chase,” says Hakim.

“Look, man,” snaps Chase. “They're just cats, okay? I have the room for them, I have the money – ”

“Fuck, dude, ever since Jack got hit you have a new one every time I stop by!”

“Well, I didn't try to adopt him, okay? He came to me!”

“Came to you.”

“I found him dying and saved him! He's not right, Hakim. Do you know how hard it is to find good homes for disabled cats? He could be put down!”

“I'm so done. I'm so – ”

Hakim cuts himself off, throwing his hands in the air and turning away. Chase scowls after him, not sure why his eyes are suddenly burning. He picks Jameson up and kisses the side of him, stroking his whole body with one hand.

“Next thing you'll be telling me you're keeping all five of these foster cats too.”

“I have all the cats I need and I know that. I'm not fucking crazy.”

“I didn't say you were! I just – C, does it make sense that I'm worried about you?”

“It's not your job to worry about me,” Chase snarls back.

“Well, whose is it?” shouts Hakim. “Huh? I've talked to the others, okay, you never even text anybody, you haven't seen the kids, you shut yourself away in here with the cats and visit Jack three times a fucking week – ”

“Don't you think I would have seen the kids if I could?” Chase demands, and his voice snaps in half like shards of a peppermint between his teeth.

The cats are watching all this like a really good rendition of Hamlet. Jackie's eyes are huge. In the hallway, both Anti and Henrik slink out of the bedroom, looking at him as if to ask: “What's going on that's so worth waking us up for?”

Hakim sits down heavily beside Chase, pushing San Antonio gently out of the way.

“Everybody cares about you, dude,” he says. “Everybody wants to help, everybody wants – ”

“Fuck's sake, can we please for the love of God not have another speech like this?” Chase bites.

Hakim goes quiet again. Chase wishes he felt bad about it, but he doesn't. He's cold even with all the cats curled up close at night. He's cold now with a blanket wrapped around him.

“I brought you some food,” says Hakim roughly.

Chase looks up to see his friend returning to the doorway and picking up a paper bag, coming back to him to show off tupperware full of leftovers and snacks in ziploc bags. “Sarah cooked a ham for Thanksgiving and said since you're American too, I should bring you some. There's some pie and, like, this sweet potato shit with brown sugar. I invited you over, but you never texted me back.”

“Sorry,” whispers Chase, staring down at the bag.

A warm, heavy arm wraps around his shoulders and pulls him closer to Hakim's chest.

“What's wrong, C?” he asks, squeezing Chase against him.

“I don't know, man,” Chase answers, and he wishes his voice didn't shake. “I don't know. I wish Jack would...”

He trails off. They both know.

“Jack couldn't fix all this though, mate. You know that.”

“I know that. But he would make things better.”

“Yeah. He would.” Hakim squeezes him once more and releases. “In the meantime, the rest of us will do our best, okay?”

Chase smiles weakly at him.

He's just everybody's burden to carry.

Except the cats. To the cats, he's food and shelter and warmth and scratches and safety. He loves when there are storms rattling the windows and they all come mewling and calling for him and he can say: “You don't have to worry, goofs, cause I brought you inside, and now you don't ever have to worry about the rain or the cold again.”

“Come over on Saturday for game night,” says Hakim. “Guys will all be there.”

“I'll try.”

“I'm going to come pick you up, how about that? Six. We'll have dinner.”

“Sure... sure, yeah.”

Hakim gets up from the couch. “I'll leave you alone, alright? Well... not alone.”

Chase grins for real at that, chuckling. Marvin rumbles against his thigh. “Never alone, man.”

“Course not. How many is it now, then?”

Chase swallows. “Um... Jameson is number five.”

Hakim's attempt at non-judgement breaks again, just for a moment.

“Fuck, Chase.”

“Yeah... well. Yeah.”

“But yeah, they got everything they need, I guess. Cute, too.”

“Cute as fuck.”

“Okay. Hey, uh. I love you, man.”

Chase grins at his discomfort, watching him shuffle towards the door.

“Pro homo, dude.”

Hakim snorts. “Yeah, dumbass. Pro homo.”

“I love you too, Hakim.”

“Kay. Yeah, you too. Bye. If you need me...”

“I know where you are.”

“Yeah.”

He's gone, disappearing out the door with an uncertain smile.

Chase slumps back on the couch, closing his eyes.

Someone baps at his nose, clicking curiously.

Chase smiles at Jackie, sinking his fingers into his hot red fur.

“Yeah, you're right, big man,” says Chase, scooping him up and disengaging everybody else scattered across his lap. “We got things to do, huh? Medicine, entertaining the kittens, looking for forever homes, making sure Anti hasn't torn the laundry into shreds again... we got lots to do. And we got everything right here, don't we? Yeah. We don't ever gotta worry about the rain or the cold again.”

.

Anti sits on the floor of the kitchen, purring loudly, his eyes squinted in the sort of way that can only be described as smug whether you're a cat or a human.

“Anti! Where is he?”

He can hear Jameson's little broken mewls coming from somewhere, he just doesn't know where.

“I've seen you trying to pick him up by the scruff and shove him through the window. If you touched him, Anti, I will stick you in the laundry room so fast!”

Anti flops against the floor with great self-satisfaction, rumbling.

The cats have gotten into a lot of places and Chase knows the usual hiding spots (and the getting-stuck spots), but he's checked everywhere he can think of and he still doesn't see the kitten. Maybe it's louder over here? He pauses in the silence and listens.

There's a faint rustling noise from the cabinets of the island counter. But he checked inside the cupboards and behind the roll-out trash can.

Wait a second.

Chase yanks out the trash can and looks inside, shoving aside an empty bag of Doritos and a carton of spoiled milk.

“Meh,” rasps Jameson.

“Anti!”

The sound of Chase shouting and Anti's nails scraping against the kitchen as he sprints away at top speed almost blocks out the noise of Chase's phone buzzing on the counter. He's washing nacho cheese and garbage off a bewildered Jameson when he realizes it's going off.

In the midst of the chaos, he answers it without thinking.

“Hi,” she says.

He almost drops the phone. “Ah, yeah, hi,” he answers. Yep, completely intentional, answering this. Totally ready to talk. Jameson sneezes against his other hand. Yuck. But cute too.

“I was just... checking in.”

“Yeah, well, the ball's in your court, Stace, isn't it? So not a lot of point to checking in unless you got something new to say.”

She sighs through her nose. He hates that noise. It always meant trouble, even when they were together.

“Have you been drug testing?”

He scowls, shoving the phone between his head and his shoulder as he places Jameson under the warm water flowing from the tap.

“No.”

She's quiet for a second. “Going to therapy?”

“No,” he replies, nastier.

“Okay, well, that's checking in,” she says bitterly.

“You can check my drug tests anytime on the website,” he returns.

“Wondered if you'd try to lie to me.”

He hangs the phone up bitterly and, in doing so, accidentally drops it on the floor. A hissing, irritated breath escapes from between his teeth.

About two seconds later, Anti is sprinting into the room to steal it, his teeth gripping the plastic phone cover, and he leaps away again, yowling with delight as he disappears into his closet in the back of the house and adds his new toy to the pile of stolen things.

“Yeah, keep it!” yells Chase. “Little punk.”

Marvin wafts up to his legs in an angelic counterimage of his brother, letting his fluffy tail stroke against Chase's thighs, blinking huge blue eyes up at him.

“I don't have food, Marv,” grumbles Chase, showing him the kitten. “It's just Jameson.”

Marvin scrunches up his nose in disgust and wafts away again.

Chase rubs at his head. “I'm a fucking waste of a human being, aren't I?”

Nobody's there to answer him aloud. But Jameson shifts forward in his palm and begins gently licking at his wrist with a tiny, rasping tongue.

.

“He's just... not quite right, you know?”

Dr. Henrik – the human one – examines Jameson's milk-fat belly and batting paws, turning him about in his hands. “Looks like you're taking good care of him.”

“Yeah, course. He's a sweetie. Like Jackie when I first adopted him, just wants to be with me all the time. But look, that – ”

Jameson opens his mouth as if to mewl, but all he really does is rasp and click his teeth at the vet.

“And he doesn't walk quite right.”

Dr. Henrik sets Jameson down. The kitten toddles towards Chase, dragging his back legs a little.

“Well, his x-rays are normal. When he gets a little older, we can do some genetic testing and that sort of thing, if you'd like. He might have some muscle problems or something. But maybe he's just... a little unusual.”

Chase regards Jameson unhappily, petting his tiny back.

“He won't get very big,” adds the vet.

“No?”

“No. I think he's a small breed. Maybe even a munchkin. Maybe that is why he walks like this.”

Chase chuckles. “Really?”

“Yeah. Cute.”

“The others will pick on him...”

“Psh. He is strong enough to survive a chilly night in the gutter, he is strong enough to put up with the rest of the little brats.”

Chase laughs, picking his kitten up and placing him in his lap. “Yeah. My tough guy.”

Dr. Henrik smiles at him, brown eyes warm. It's that same warmth that made Chase trust in him when he first met him with that sick, injured white cat who became his Henrik. It's never faded.

“Chase,” he says, taking off his reading glasses and sitting down. “There are adopters who might want him, you know. You could send him with the foster kittens you have now. Someone would love him.”

Chase looks up in surprise, already shaking his head before Dr. Henrik is done talking. “This is my cat, doc! My Jameson! And look how attached he is.”

Jameson is kneading holes in Chase's sleeve, purring sleepily against his stomach.

“It's just.” Henrik pauses, thinks, restarts. “It's just that I don't want you to feel as though you must keep him simply because you are the only one who can care for him. There are others who would care for him just as well as you do.”

“I was the only one who could save him,” Chase challenges. “And what if he turns out to be a special needs cat, you know? Who's going to love him then?”

“Chase, people take care of all kinds of cats. You are not the only one with a soft spot for a kitten who's a little out of the ordinary. You get very attached, Chase. And that's wonderful, and very sweet! But... don't take on too much.”

“We're fine,” murmurs Chase, scratching Jamie's ears. “I won't get anymore. I just want him. And there's only really four, because Anti is Jack's. So when he wakes up, he'll want him back, and there will only be four.”

Dr. Henrik just looks at him, pushing his glasses up on his nose. He turns back to his clipboard a moment later.

Something burns in the back of Chase's throat.

“How long has your friend been asleep for?” asks the vet, not looking at him.

Chase swallows and clenches his hands together, then lets them go again. He closes his eyes.

“Chase?”

“When he wakes up, he'll want Anti back,” he says. “So... it's just four cats.”

Dr. Henrik nods at him. JJ meanders into his hoodie pocket and Chase puts his hands around his little hot-water-bottle body, and keeps him safe right there, right there, right there.

“Take care of yourself, Chase,” says Dr. Henrik.

“Yeah,” croaks Chase. “Yeah, I'm trying.”

“Sometimes it's easier to take care of someone else than yourself,” Henrik tells him.

Chase nods tersely and leaves the room, picking up JJ's carrier. “Thanks for everything. We're fine. I'll come back for a follow up.”

At home, he slides to the ground, almost overwhelmed for a moment, but he isn't alone. All his cats – and Jack's – run up to him, asking for something or another, rubbing up against his body. Chase grabs Anti, ignoring an indignant yowl, and pulls him to his stomach, leaning over him to kiss his grimy head. Anti grumbles and bites at his fingers.

“Yeah, there's my trouble-maker,” Chase mumbles, petting his back. “But you don't have to worry, little man, because once Jack wakes up...”

Once Jack wakes up. Once Jack wakes up. Chase's phone is buzzing. He doesn't answer it. Anti licks the places on his fingers where blood is welling up.

[lun2523]

Regarding Uvalde, My Thoughts.

Hello, no one here knows me, or at least none of you should. Its been over a year since one of the most traumatic events of my life happened. It was a Tuesday and school was set to let out that Thursday, the seniors from the local high school were doing mini parades around every school in the district. Earlier that day they had walked around our school, when it happened I was in Spanish class, our actual teacher was out with the Spanish club in San Antonio for a club field trip. It was a normal day, there had been a walkout in protest of something that is now so unremarkable that I no longer remember.

I didn't have the district issued I-Pad that was handed out to everyone in the district with me that day, my friend was the first sign that something was wrong. She received a phone call from her father, who got the news from his brother, her uncle, I didn't hear what he said to her, but from the look on her face it wasn't good.

There was a district wide email sent out to everyone calling for a district wide lockout, it differs from a lockdown in that its business as usual but you confirm that the door(s) are locked. That day we had a substitute teacher, she wasn't able to lock the door. The news slowly trickled in, I bounced from one person to another asking for any information they had, any news.

One person was in a group chat that received a video of the man entering the backdoor of Robb shot from someone inside their car.

Someone said he shot his grandmother in the face.

Another said he crashed his truck into a ditch and that Robb was his intended destination.

Someone said there was a shooter at the high school and that it was a coordinated attack.

All we knew that day was that something horrible and life changing was happening, and there was nothing we could do besides sit and wait.

Have any of you have a memory so traumatic that you feel certain parts of it are burned into your brain? Its like that with exiting the school, we were the first class escorted out of Morales Junior High, i was the third out of the building. Some man from the Sheriffs office pointed a gun at us, demanded we put our hands on top of our head and be lead single file out of the school. I was so scared, but I hadnt shed any tears yet, I think it was the shock.

There were parents lined up on the other side of the street craning their heads and yelling, there was a police barricade preventing them from getting into the school. I had to borrow a phone from a sheriff to call my dad since I couldn't see him anywhere. It was borderline chaos but all I cared about was getting to my dad, when I found him, he hugged me. His dog, Whiskey, cuddled into my lap while cried in his work truck, he took me home.

You know, a lot of things went through my mind following Robb, but the most prominent one was this- 'Your thoughts and prayers do nothing' I hate people who dare to use this tragedy to garner something for themselves and only themselves, i grieve for the children who cowered in those classrooms while that madman killed their friends and family.

My friend has a sister who was supposed to be in one of those classrooms that day, it was horrible watching her cry out, relieved, that her sister wasn't dead

I despise the people who try to use this event for selfish reasons.

I lost a part of me that day, I think most people in Uvalde did that day, most don't understand the feeling and thoughts that come from that event and I feel disgust for people that wish an event like this happens to them or anyone they know.

Its not a joke and I'm sick of keeping quiet about it.

For Uvalde

For Victims

For America

[dylanbrooks]

The Wandering Chapel

Content Warning for mentions of transphobia, sexism, and death

Walking has been helping me during my transition and the routine is helping me to feel stable again. Between the rushed move, attending college, and starting my new job as a hostess, I feel like I haven't had a moment to stop and catch my breath properly; Yet I’m scared that as soon as I stop to rest something bad will happen, so I just keep going.

While I still have yet to make friends, I at least have Leroy, my chocolate labrador that I technically stole from my parents when I fled the house. It was midnight when I was finally prepared to go. I had packed up as much as I could into 4 big boxes and loaded them into the car. As I slipped my coming out letter under my parents' door Leroy quietly crept up to me and licked the tears from my face. Leroy was a stray that wandered onto our plot two years prior, and we kept him ever since. I got into arguments with my parents all the time about microchipping him and taking him to the vet regularly and they refused to do so, saying it’s a scam. At that moment I realized they were never going to take care of him, so I grabbed his bowls and a gallon bag of dog food and took him with me. He’s been happier with me since and especially enjoys all the walking we do.

Ever since we moved to San Antonio I’ve been trying to find nice places for us to walk and so far my favorite has been the railroad tracks near the  apartment. On my off days, Leroy and I will walk as far down as we can, taking pictures along the way, and collecting interesting things I find. The bright wildflowers and gentle rustling of the critters in the shrubs and song birds in the trees make it so peaceful to be.

 After work, I quickly changed into my running shorts, hiking boots, sports bra, and loose band tee. I leashed up Leroy, tied my hair back into a ponytail and started for the road. We had an hour left of sunlight and we had to get our walk in fast. Almost out of the complex I saw a couple of ladies and their dogs walk into the little dog park, one of them shot me a glance. Walking past I heard them unsuccessfully whispering.

 “Isn’t that the new girl on your floor? Jules, right?” she said, leaning toward her friend. 

“Yeah that's him. He’s pretending to be a woman you know,” She said bitterly. 

 “What? How do you know? She looks like a woman to me?”

“I thought so too till I saw one of those rainbow flags in their living room while dropping off a package of his I accidentally got,” she said crossing her arms 

I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. “Just can’t catch a break huh? Damn though, how obsessed do you have to be to recognise the trans pride flag? My brows began to furrow as I began anxiously imagining if the whole complex knew I was a trans woman. What if they’re all transphobic and they get me evicted, what if there’s some fetishist creep that starts stalking me, what if a man tries to kill me…” I stop walking for a brief moment to recollect my thoughts and take a deep breath. “All I want to do right now is enjoy my walk with my dog and damn it that's what I’m going to do.” I thought resolutely, and walked down the railroad tracks.

The buzz of cicadas and shadows of the tree line grew the further we walked down the rail and for the first time I noticed something new. A chapel, just barely visible from the woods. We kept walking toward it till about 50 feet away so I could take a picture of the whole building. Leroy laid down beside me panting away as I studied the strange scene and then he let out a big yawn. I wanted to go see its insides but with the sun falling quickly I decided it best to come back another time. 

 After letting Leroy rest and drink water we walked back home as the sun dipped below the trees, the sky shifting from pink and orange to a lavender twilight. I kept looking back at the church, wondering how long it’d been there and how I hadn’t noticed it before. I began planning on going back tomorrow to investigate it. I’d never done any urban exploration before but I was curious enough to try it just this once. 

After feeding Leroy, I leased him and set out for the railroad and the old church. The surrounding woods were alive with birds and insects, I smiled listening to them and hopped on the rails, balancing on them like a tightrope walker. It reminded me of playing in the woods of east Texas when I was a kid, jumping over dried up creeks, climbing up trees, and throwing pinecones as far or as high up as I could. I feel like myself here. 

Stepping up to the old doors I hesitate to open them, my stomach twisting and turning with anticipation. I take a breath and pull open the door. 

To my surprise it was beautiful inside. Stepping in for a closer look around, I studied the abstract stained glass windows, the wooden beams running across the ceiling, the beautiful dark brown altar table, and the green carpeting covering the whole floor. Strangely there were no books, sculptures, murals, or anything to give evidence of what religion was practiced here and even weirder it looked nothing like this from the outside. From the outside, the windows are smashed in, the white paint chipped and peeling away, and the roof has a crater in it that seems to house a bird's nest. 

 “How could it be that beyond these splintered doors is a church untouched by time?” I thought.

A large bell began to chime, startling me. Stumbling back, I ran out the doors with Leroy in tow. If someone is here, I don't want to be caught. My blood went cold when I realized we’re in the middle of a grassy field. 

Looking around frantically for a road, trail, or any sign of people but there was nothing for miles. It was only us and the chapel. I ran a little way down the slope, tripping and tumbling to my knees, covering my head and ears, breathing hard as the bell continued to ring, Leroy followed barking at me, mistaking panic for play. When the bell fell silent I peaked up to watch for a moment, waiting for something or anything else to happen. But it was still. 

“This has to be a dream, buildings don’t just just teleport!” I said to myself while hiding from it in the grass. Digging my nails into the soil, the dry earth crumbling in my palms. “No, no, I’m awake, I’m awake and I’m lost” I thought as I looked around the open plains around me, wind blowing through the grass, Leroy running around wildly. Dusting off my hands I pull out my phone to see where we are, but as quickly as my hope came it was swiftly crushed by a “No Service” marker and no connection to use digital maps. I stared blankly into the grass around me as the hot wind blew harder, whipping around me. 

I built up the courage to go back after wrangling in Leroy. I had to find out how it brought us here and how to go back home. I walked in with haste and began looking around as if the answer would be painted on the wall, I just had to find it. I scanned the space again while taking off Leroy’s leash, to let him roam free while I searched. On each side of the altar stage were rooms. I checked the left room first. 

It was an office. In the center was a dark wooden desk with a leather chair behind it and two more in front of it. I opened the drawers and found nothing. On the wall across from the desk was a 3D topographical map of Oklahoma with a single red pin. “Why the hell is this here?” I thought as I tried taking it off the wall. I decided to leave it be after peaking behind it and seeing nothing of use or interest. 

Behind the other door was a staircase. Leroy decided he wanted to see this room so he followed me in and stepped up the first few steps and looked over to make sure I was following. The steps were steep and built in a weird blocky spiral. At the top was a narrow hallway with small, round, stained glass windows on either side, presumably going over the main seating area. I made Leroy sit and stay put as I walked down to the last door.

Stepping through the door, I looked up and saw the huge, brass bell. I stared at it for a moment, pondering how it rings on its own, then it answered. The bell swung on its own and began ringing throughout the small room. Quickly covering my ears and running back down the hall, I could see Leroy barking as he stood up but I couldn’t hear him. We rushed down the stairs and I hid in the pews like a child.

When it finished I slowly sat up, Leroy whining and pawing at me, wagging his tail, like this is some kind of game. Letting out a sigh I asked him, 

“How are you so calm about this?” He continued to wag his tail and pant.

Opening the door cautiously, I surveyed our new environment. Huge trees erected from the murky water surrounding the church, sunlight glistened in the hanging lichen, the sound of distant birds and splashing of water echoing all around. Shutting the door, I check my phone again for any signal, still nothing. 

I slumped down In one of the pews, my head hanging loosely to the side. “What if we’re dead?” tears welled up in my eyes at the thought, “What if a train hit us and this is our afterlife, or someone caught us trespassing and killed us, or–” Feeling something wet I looked down to catch Leroy licking my hand. Wiping tears away with one hand and petting him with the other, I took several deep breaths and tried to think of something else. “If this is the after life at least I have Leroy with me and we get to see some pretty places together.” Sitting on the floor again I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tight, his tail thumping happily on the floor.

After regaining my composure I decided to distract myself by playing tag with Leroy. We ran up and down the aisle and back and forth across the room. He went wild barking when I started hiding from him, in the pews, behind the altar, and in the office. When he caught me I kneeled down to pet and squish his face. Exhausted he laid down and rolled to his side, panting furiously. I rubbed and patted his belly exclaiming, 

“Oh my goodness! My baby boy is so tired! Yes, Yes he is, he went crazy!” I laughed.

Settling on the floor next to him, I lean back on the desk behind me, slowly looking around the room. Then I noticed it. The map had changed.

I jumped to my feet and stared in disbelief at a new 3D topographic map, this time of Louisiana and the red pin placed in a river near a large lake. Quickly I pulled out my phone to take a picture when I saw that the time was fifteen minutes to ten, I then decided to wait and record how it changed maps.

I sat behind the desk, phone ready to record, counting down the minutes which seemed to go by agonizingly slow. I began to swipe through my progress pictures from last night's design project, thinking of ways to adjust the composition and made notes of it in my phone. I then swiped into my photos on the tracks yesterday and when I got to my pictures of the chapel, it was missing, leaving only pictures of the woods that had surrounded it. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing so I closed the app, reopened it, found the pictures again, and saw the chapel was still missing from them. Dropping my phone as the bell rang and startled me, I scrambled to pick it up and video record the map.

The map swallowed the red pin, flattened itself, and erased the state name. It then took on the shape of a different state, charted its elevations and valley’s, rivers, lakes, and shoreline, the red pin erecting like a tiny flag, and at the top of the map appeared “Maine”. I stopped recording and sat back in the leather chair. I slowly lower and shake my head, I’m utterly perplexed. 

I heard Leroy begin barking and whining in the auditorium, stepping out from the office I see him sitting next to the doors looking back and forth between me and it. He needs to use the bathroom. 

After leashing him, I take a quick glance outside to make sure it’s safe and proceed to walk out with him. Excited by the new sights and smells, Leroy tugged me along with him as he sniffed and marked every tree and rock. 

“Leroy you silly boy, don’t you know you can’t claim the whole world?” I teased. 

Sitting on the steps of the chapel, my arms folded over my knees, Leroy naps peacefully next to me, I take a deep breath of cool air and let out a long breath. It feels like I’ve been holding my breath forever. A gust of wind rolls gently through the pine trees, In the distance I hear a woodpecker, and a stream flowing.  “If we make it back home somehow, I think I’ll plan a trip to Maine. It’s beautiful here” I thought to myself, smiling tiredly. I checked the time, twenty minutes till eleven. Getting up to stretch, I turned towards the chapel. As strange as it is, It's beautiful, and I can’t help the need to capture it. 

Every hour, when the bell rings, we change location and I try to get a picture of the chapel. We’ve seen the Arizona desert, the rolling hills of North Carolina, the rainforest in Washington state, the Colorado mountains, Georgia’s savanna, the Alaskan forest, the Florida everglades, the plains of Missouri, and are currently on a tiny island in the great lakes of Michigan. 

Scrolling through my new pictures, petting Leroy as he snores away in my lap, I let out a big yawn. It was around this time yesterday that we found this place, I began to wonder, “If this place moves hourly, how come it was still there by the train tracks this morning?” I let out another yawn and decided not to question it anymore. It’s not like it’d start making sense now.

I was half asleep leaning back against the pew exhausted and hungry. After I woke up a few times due to almost falling over, I decided to just lay flat on the floor, Leroy adjusts himself to lay his head on my chest now. 

“You’re a good boy Leroy, I wish I could’ve gotten us back home” I said, resting my hand on him, petting him with my fingertips. The floor under me began to feel soft and warm, my body relaxing all tension, as I fell into a deep empty sleep.

  In the distance I heard a bell ring and slowly opened my eyes. I sat up quickly and looked around my room in disbelief, startling Leroy. I grabbed my phone and checked the time and my photos. There were nine photos of different landscapes, the chapel missing from them all. I let out a wiry laugh. “I get it”.

[may-bonne]

Sorry I'm basically blowing up your inbox today 👉👈

I know a few of the Mrod blogs on here were femslashy. Especially when she was dating Cara. If it wasn't about them, it was about Rain and Alice or Luz and Miss San Antonio. The het stuff definitely dominated though and it was definitely Vin's fault. Part of me is now morbidly curious about that poetry

Ahhh I have a rant locked and loaded for the majority of Mrod's movies. That outfit was terrible! I HATE when writers think motherhood has to completely soften and suck the personality out of character. It's always a blouse or a cardigan I swear to god. It's not a big surprise that female characters in a series about zooming cars around get the short end of the stick but that doesn't make it any less annoying. Elena having Dom's baby instead of Letty is one of the less stupid decisions imo. I'll have to skim back through F9 again to get my thoughts all back in order brb with that full rant. Fuck Hobbs and Shaw why can't we have a true Letty and Mia focused flick!!

Yeeessshh no worries. I was born the year Girlfight came out ✌️ Talk about Frank's cock all you want

That clothing line would be a problem for my wallet I'm not sure it could handle. The interviews were generally a little painful but I must have watched most of them anyway

The nice thing about the Resident Evil series is that most of the fandom now is femslash because Alice has homoerotic tension with at least one character in every movie. There's a part in the third film where she blatantly checks out Claire Redfield's ass when she walks away and she runs across a room to pet Rain's hair to comfort her in the first one. Quality cinema

don't you dare apologize!! i'm hanging on the telephone. i never realized how much tumblr asks could resemble my preferred method of communication (long rambling emails) and i've had a hard time getting people irl to do that instead of just texting me :/

the mrod poems were written by "bryan s. coe" (who i just googled and discovered is perhaps a digital marketing strategist in detroit these days). the two i still have links to are titled "poem to a hottie on a zip line" and "euphemistic poem to a woman with sub-machine gun" and are about nikki from breed and chris from s.w.a.t. respectively. i feel this stanza from the second one needs to be shared:

while everyone takes cover and protects their body i spy around the corner and see a special weapons hottie those sure are some special "weapons," wouldn't you say kind of appropriate that s.w.a.t. ends with a t and an a!

and it goes on in that vein. extensively. i mean, come on, dude. the meter is all off!! you need to cut "and see" from the second line and "that" from the fourth. also that is a very liberal definition of "euphemistic"

i like the idea of just generally defining time in mrod movies. *guy living in a dystopian future where that's all that remains of our civilization voice* "yeah my great great grandmother was born the year girlfight came out"

personally i thought i got blue crush but that's 2002 :/

i agree that they were right not to knock letty up. the only tragic part is i think she's probably too old to play pregnant now and i would have liked to see that just as fuel for some letty/mia fantasies :(( i can't even imagine what they would have dressed her in. considering you would think mia's 75% sundress wardrobe would be pretty transferable to maternity clothes and they still put her in that ruffled yellow abomination

i kind of wish it hadn't even been dom's kid though. like wouldn't that have been more in keeping with the family-goes-beyond-blood thing? dom could have still done all that crazy crap to rescue elena and her baby. i also hate elena dying. i really did not like fate of the furious in general and it didn't have mia so what was the point anyway. i kind of recognize that objectively f9 might have been the nadir of the franchise but it gave us letty and mia's tokyo dinner date so i'll always love it

also mia going in for the hug just grinning like hey! letty! it's great to see you! and then it cuts to letty, like, closing her eyes and huffing the scent of her hair. baby this is why in my head you've been hung up on her for decades

they need to do a mia & letty spinoff and i feel like there's no way it's actually going to happen. vin's too much of an egotist he would shove himself in there to present himself as the king of feminism or something and then the movie would just be his big dumb head like always. i'm holding out hope they'll kill him in the last movie for pathos but it's probably in his contract that they aren't allowed to

last note on f9 is that i love how after all that backpatting for finally having the gals share a scene it STILL doesn't pass the bechdel test because they exclusively talk about han, brian, jacob, dom, and little brian in that order. i do like when mia says "you'll always be my sister." i hope letty got off to that furiously and guiltily in the shower and then cried

don't even get me started on how the franchise butchers mia. my whole ao3 presence is basically a 750,000-word manifesto on how badly i think they screwed her over. i'm not even asking for that much but just let her be a fucking doctor you'd think with eleven million bucks she could afford to go to med school

[naturecoaster]

The NatureCoaster.com Story for our Ten-Year Anniversary

I was stuck in a chair. I could get up, but I wasn’t supposed to. I was instructed to sit and heal from the extensive wounds I had suffered on August 26, 2013, exactly one week past my 51st birthday. Now, we are celebrating ten years of NatureCoaster on April 6 and I hope you will join us. Event details are at the end of the story. Meanwhile, this is the condensed version of how NatureCoaster.com came to be. I had been in an induced coma in the UF Shands ICU and Burn Units for months and was “sprung” just before Thanksgiving, at which time I was sent to an excellent rehab hospital in Brooksville. At least I was on home turf while I relearned how to walk, pick things up and move them where I wanted, and how to use the bathroom without help. Still, I didn’t want to sit in a chair too long. I wanted to do something. While talking with a very good friend she suggested, “You should take the magazine online. Everybody loved it!” It is now early 2014 and I got a spiffy laptop computer, beginning my future… creating NatureCoaster.com. It began with learning WordPress and using the free template of the year, Magazine, and free web hosting to recreate the very popular, but not profitable “Travelhost of the Nature Coast” that I had published from 2004-2010 when the Gulf Coast oil spill put the final nails in the coffin of that business. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve8NjnBAGH0 NatureCoaster.com is Born I got a call from a former colleague, asking me to be part of a Familiarization (FAM) Tour of Citrus, Hernando, and Pasco counties with Robin Draper, creator of Authentic Florida. We visited parks, ate in some of the best local restaurants, and took a wonderful boat tour together with the Tourism agencies for each County. One night, we stayed at one of the cabins on Chinsegut Hill together, just Robin and me. “You need an email list! That’s how you grow,” she told me. She also gave me her phone number and a LOT of encouragement. Robin became my mentor and without her, NatureCoaster wouldn’t have made it to the end of our first year. In April 2014, I interviewed Howard Bellamy for our first feature story. He was a true gentleman and shared stories with me of growing up in a different time on Florida’s Nature Coast. I still remember him telling me about Frances (he and his brother, David, called their mom by her first name while she helped them negotiate the music business of the 1970s and beyond) and how she and their dad tamed the land in Darby and grew their cattle business. David and Howard Bellamy at their family ranch in the 1970s. Image courtesy of The Bellamy Brothers. He also told me about going fishing in Port Richey, jumping in the Weeki Wachee River, the origins of the San Antonio Rattlesnake Festival, and more. We sent out our first newsletter. Were there 50 readers? About this time, I realized that if this was going to be my career, I would need to have income, so I began a local business directory. This required paid hosting and an investment in software. I began searching for the domain name. The one I wanted, NatureCoasting, wasn’t available. I liked the action verb idea, but compromise had to be made, so NatureCoaster it is. I charged $36.50 to be in the directory because I figured it had to be worth at least 10 cents a day to a local business. Several of the customers from the printed magazine invested in this, giving me enough hope to keep going. Some wanted to pay more, so I made a “top-of-the-directory” position for $100/year. Friends and Partners make NatureCoaster.com Grow Our newest NatureCoasters at Art in the Park. Image by Diane Bedard. Over the years, so many people came alongside us to bring us to where we are today: More than 245,000 unique visitors to the site in 2023 and growing! I got freelance jobs from former customers and new customers. I was able to work on a video series with Shannon Burns and Steve Sofcheck called “Gems of the Nature Coast,” writing and editing half-hour segments. These Gems aired on the Citrus County Key TV station only and could be seen on YouTube. I worked in trade for a commercial being made for NatureCoaster.com and a media schedule on the station. The commercial we created won second place at the Florida Outdoor Writer’s Association Excellence in Craft awards that year. Greatest Hits 106 management, Steve and Stephanie Schurdell met with me and agreed to sponsor our calendar of events with radio spots. Their support was instrumental in getting the word out that a digital magazine was available for organizations throughout the Nature Coast to add their events to, connecting the region. Captain "Shell" Marinaro, Marla Chancey, Robin Draper, and Diane Bedard enjoying the Gulf of Mexico on their way back to Gill Dawg's Marina. When COVID came, the events came to a standstill, and the radio stations and I agreed to stop the sponsorship until there were events to promote again. When the time came to revisit, NatureCoaster.com was so strong that I never reached back out to them. Mentors and Friends Contribute to NatureCoaster.com Robin encouraged me to join the Florida Outdoor Writers Association. She encouraged me to enter their Excellence in Craft Awards and I actually won a couple of awards in 2017. Again in 2019, 2020, 2021 and 2022. I met Sally White at my first conference, and we became fast friends, both serving on the Board of Directors. Meanwhile, Robin retired and found Melanie Lentz-Janney to take on the next chapter of Authentic Florida. Melanie Lentz-Janney, publisher of AuthenticFlorida.com, and Diane Bedard, publisher of NatureCoaster.com proudly display their 2018 Sunshine Blog Awards at FLBlogCon. Robin also brought me to Florida BlogCon, where I met hundreds of bloggers from around Florida, as well as major advertisers who recognized blogging and social media as viable promotional channels. One of my connections from that organization places all our community news on the site as well as helps with blessing and editing events that are added to the NatureCoaster Calendar: Meagan Goepferich. A writer, Jacqueline Bodnar, got my name from FLBlog Con and reached out to me about being a part of her book, Blogging for Bucks. NatureCoaster.com is Chapter Five! Sally White has won many writing awards and has become a regular contributor to NatureCoaster.com. I love her writing, and as NatureCoaster has grown, I had to take on more management responsibilities. Sally publishes Florida for Families and she and her husband, Chef Randal White, are part owners in Remington Steakhouse at the World Equestrian Center in Ocala, Florida. One of those responsibilities was best outsourced… website management. Delegation Makes NatureCoaster.com Better In the first few years, every time I had an idea of ways to grow NatureCoaster’s content or usability, I ended up working on a WordPress project that came with a lot of challenges, so I would be frustrated, cussing, and pounding away. One day my husband suggested I contact Stefen Phelps, now co-founder of Kelp Creative Agency. At that time, Stefen was coding websites for a well-known web agency in Tampa and he took me on as a freelance project on his own time. Whew! Then Stefen wanted to meet. “This is my friend, Luke Kenney, a graphic designer. We want to start our own agency in Brooksville and we want to have you as our first customer,” Stefen said as we sipped coffees in downtown Brooksville. They named the agency KELP and NatureCoaster.com was their first customer. They took our homemade logo and made it professional, providing us with a level of professionalism rarely seen. They understood and believed in our mission to connect our readers with the “Best of Florida’s Nature Coast” and they have been true partners in making us who we are today. Come to the NatureCoaster.com Ten-Year Celebration and Help a Great Cause In February of this year, I realized that April marked the tenth anniversary of NatureCoaster. It seemed appropriate to have a celebration. On April 6, 2024, please join us for our party. Every business, nonprofit, tourism agency, events planner, or reader that has been a part of this journey is an integral part of our success. Please join us for the NatureCoaster.com Ten-Year Celebration to benefit the Florida Wildlife Corridor Foundation on Saturday, April 6 from 2-9 pm at the Masaryk Winery and Upicktopia farm, 19125 Phillips Road, Masaryktown, FL 34604. The phone number is 352-308-0110. About the Event - This is an outdoor event under a large pavilion with a stage. There are outdoor games and a silent auction to benefit the Florida Wildlife Corridor Foundation. We are asking for a $10 donation to the Corridor Foundation, and if you want to be part of the paint party, please donate $25 or more. There will be outdoor games, u-pick, food and drink, t-shirts for sale, and a silent auction to benefit the Florida Wildlife Corridor Foundation. Also, raffle tickets will be available for $5 to win a Freedom Boat Club Pontoon Boat Cruise for 6. Schedule of Activities - 2 - 4 pm Painting Party by Traveling Art Parties - 4:15 – 6:15 pm Blues Concert by Sarasota Slim Band and Dancing - 6:15-7:15 pm Dinner Break and Silent Auction - 7:30 – 8:30 pm Florida Wildlife Corridor short film, O2O, and Panel Discussion - 8:30 pm Silent Auction Closes and Raffle Ticket pulled for Freedom Boat Club Pontoon Boat Cruise for 6 VIP Tickets are Available Please consider a VIP Ticket, which includes all activities, your dinner of pulled pork or chicken sandwich, potato salad, baked beans and dessert, water and iced tea, a raffle ticket for the Freedom Boat Club pontoon cruise for up to six, an event t-shirt, and a donation to the Florida Wildlife Corridor Foundation. Your donation is $75. Click Here for your VIP Tix "Farmer Dan" bottles wine he and his wife create from fruit grown on the 53-acre farm. Guests are welcome to taste any of the many varieties. Image by Diane Bedard. About the Masaryk Winery The venue is a 53-acre U-pick farm with strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries, as well as vegetables and flowers in season. On site is a cozy air-conditioned winery that offers several wines created from fruit grown on the farm. They offer free tastings (two types of wine for free – full tastings are available for a nominal fee), wine for sale by the glass or the bottle, beer on tap, a variety of packaged sodas and drinks for sale, and an on-site restaurant and catering business with fantastic food and desserts. Read the full article

[blacklodgemusictx]

Salim Nourallah: Record Release Mini Tour - Night One

Standing in front of the Lonesome Rose honky tonk in San Antonio, I am keenly reminded of what it was *not* when I last stood here. When last here it was January. It was not 95 degrees.

I’m starting to sweat. I gravitate to available outdoor seating: a row of what appears to be old movie theater chairs… stuffing coming out through loose cushion stitches appears to be *squint* hair…?

Jason Garner is there. I’ve never actually spoken to him, but with his bare, tattooed arms and cheerful blue mohawk, he’s recognizable to say the least. He’s crouched over taking pictures of a cactus by the stairs. The cactus is smiling.

“We’ve never actually met. We’re LizNDoug (run it together. All one word. Can’t have one without the other… like peanut butter and jelly)… Salim’s friends.”

Sure! He’s seen us at shows. The same way we’ve seen him. He disappears inside to see if a Salim could be located. No, he’s gone off to eat.

I continue wilting. It’s 15 minutes to the announced door time, but there is no one around. Absolutely no one. The key to walking in where you may or may not belong is confidence. Just walk in. So we did.

The difference between the bright sunshine and the low light dazzles my eyes. A benevolent shadow form coalesces and hugs me. My eyes adjust. Olivia Willson-Piper. There she is being happy to see me again - still getting use to that: kind people being happy to see me for no other reason than my basic existence. She’s there with Marty having a bite to eat.

Marty is a vegetarian. He informs us while delicately unwrapping his… wrap (?) that he also doesn’t like peppers. He tweezes them out while we chat.

Olivia and I end up under a light source comparing tattoos. I start naming off the menagerie of animals that dot my arms. And let slip that my favorite chicken - an artistically rendered Lavender Orpington on my left forearm- is called Olivia. She seems delighted.

John Dufhilo appears. I haven’t really ever spoken to him before, but just like Jason Garner, he is immediately recognizable. We are Salim facilitated Facebook friends and not too long ago, I added my voice to those on said social media platform rejoicing as he recovered from a massive heart attack. He surprises and delights me with a hug. It is wonderful seeing him well and hearty.

Joe Reyes is there. We know him a little better than some of these satellites we have met in Salim’s orbit. He has the best smile. Seems genuinely delighted to just be in a room with air. The addition of friends and the opportunity to play music? Even better.

At some point Salim appears. It’s hard to talk amidst the bustle of a bar waking up for its nightly duties. Something upsetting happened to him the day before. I hug him. I got nightmare family news (related to the nightmare of my family… namely it’s toppled, usurped, disgraced patriarch. Daddy issues? I’ll have a lifetime subscription) this very day and have spent a good portion of my afternoon crying.

He’s going to play, “Let Go” from his new album, he tells me. I like it… this is an excellent idea. The *only* thing that would give me peace right now is that very [impossible] action.

Time passes. Positions shift. Marty dons glasses and moves to a different table. He looks like a stern bookkeeper going over accounts. In reality, he’s making a setlist.

More time passes. I don’t mind the wait. To get my fix in the vicinity of musicians, I used to queue up first thing in the morning and spend all day without food or water to be first in, front row for The Flaming Lips. My only reward for that might be a faraway wave from Steven or a chat with Kliph.

Sitting inside the dark and cool, talking to these fascinating people - my friends - this is heaven.

Early on, Doug is recruited to run merch. I’m not surprised. The merch table has become our station. Doug is in his element. Me? I’ll helpfully point at the records. Tell people after the set where the songs they thought were catchy originated. Tell them ‘A Nuclear Winter’ yes, that’s the newest one. But I stand here next to him proudly. Whatever you need. Whatever helps.

Salim and the Treefort Five are first to play tonight (he tells me later their new name is ‘Salim and the Philistines.’)

I am deeply deeply biased at this point… but they sound incredible to me. Seeing Salim backed by a full band… he comes alive in a completely new way as a performer. I’ve been lucky enough to behold this two other times - Sons of Hermann Hall in Dallas in 2019. Then this year (2023) opening for the Old 97s. I love my friend as an energetic front man.

This time is different and monumental. This time Marty. Marty Willson-Piper formerly of Australian band The Church (this man is the whole reason we were brought in to warm regard of Salim Nourallah - he and Doug share a mutual love of The Church.)

Marty and Olivia came over in 2018 to be enfolded in to the Nourallah musical family. Recording, producing has happened even with a global pandemic to work around.

This is work coming to fruition. Nuclear Winter finally birthed. Marty is finally on stage by Salim’s side. I know this is monumental for him and I love it. I love witnessing this. I love being here. Love that he wants me here. Love that these amazing people jam packed in to this tiny room are our friends now too.

The amassed gents rip through a mix of Salim standards and a heavy dose of things from the new album.

The set end nears. I’ve snapped my pictures. Taken my videos. All in the name of seeing; witnessing; presence.

Olivia is on stage. I know ‘Friends for Life’ is coming. That’s one she started playing on during the shows 6 mos ago. This one makes me sad. I have a dear dear friend who allowed me to turn him on to Salim (there is no greater compliment than to let me show you the music I love… then love it to). This is his favorite. My friend is in Greenland. I haven’t seen him in months.

Friends for life… if I had to sum up my time with Salim it would be with those three words. If you are lucky enough to ever be on the receiving end of Salim’s regard, you have a friend for life. Just shut up and enjoy the ride.

But then it’s time. Time to ‘Let Go’ - another song made more achingly beautiful with the deft application of Olivia’s bow.

I cry. Bitterly. Let go, he tells me, surrender to the things I can’t control. Best advice possible… I’m so far away from that right now, all I can do is feel sorry for myself.

The set is over. Back to husband in the merch nook (we’ve seen many incarnations. This one is nice. Padded booths made into their own cozy corner.)

I feel wrung out. Physically. Emotionally. An older gentleman asks me if I’m ok. Brings me water. Oh good. I look as bad as I feel.

The Deathray Davies are next. I know John Dufilho fronts this configuration, but I’ve never seen them. I also don’t know how many people are in the band. Musicians appear - to tired eyes - to swarm the stage like clowns from a tiny car.

They tear in to their first song and I like them immediately. Their energy is palpable and consuming. Nick Earl appears to be old school Seattle grunge: rakes his hands across an artfully battered Jazzmaster, long hair hanging in his face.

That energy is catching. I spy my first dancer of the evening. This woman gives no fucks and it is a scene to behold. Her shuck and jive is part Ministry of Silly Walks part scraping-gum-off-her-shoe. She gyrates with an oily self aware sensuality. At one point, her untethered breasts seem in danger of escaping. Not so fast. She doesn’t miss a beat: stuffs the offending mammary back down through the armhole of her sundress. Not today, titty.

She. Is. Magnificent.

Salim is with us at this point. I start relaying what I have seen to Doug. Salim wants in to the conversation. I smile thinking about how I will pay tribute to her, “Just getting inspired.”

It’s at this point, the night takes it’s massive, sudden toll. I’ve got a stabbing pain in the back of my head. Great. When I fantasize about death, it’s quick. I don’t want to stroke out. Here I come, it’s The Big One.

… or I’m hungry and tired and dehydrated.

Salim says it’s ok, you don’t have to stay. Marty and Olivia are already gone. The place has cleared out in a hurry. Even those disciplines of rock have to get home at a reasonable hour on a weekday. There’s work in the morning.

I hate to miss Buttercup, but I don’t think Joe will blame me for feeling poorly.

So we sneak off to the healing powers of Whataburger.

I will live to rock another day.