#i could have put effort into something for my first post but i am mentally unwell so this is what you get

[lincolnlogsnfrogs]

"get in loser, we're going to therapy"

[traumagenica]

.

[markscherz]

Can I ask how you feel about your Tumblr fame?

I get the impression you just made this account for normal casual funsies reasons, but it kinda blew up by happenstance. If that's right, I'm curious if now you feel like it's kind of a more serious thing, where you have an opportunity to sorta act as a science communicator with a reach you otherwise might not?

Or maybe something else? You gonna see if you can somehow leverage your Tumblr fame to get research funding? Deputize us to harass polluters and developers destroying habitats? Crowdsource name ideas for new species?

It's a bit bizarre, in that it has very little real-world-ness to it. I showed my mother the ongoing tumblr celebrity poll, and she was like 'how many people could possibly be interested in frogs?', to which I replied 'well as of today about 46,000 and counting'.

I have always had an unhealthy relationship with fame. I spent most of my teen and young adult life fawning after it, as is I suppose very often the case.

More after the cut…

I always really wanted to be famous, but I was never really interested in changing who I was or what I represented in that pursuit. That is to say, I wanted to be known for what I was already doing, or for things that were already interesting for me, rather than things that might have much higher chances of success but require more effort or be less in line with the things that I am interested in.

I had my first brush with virality in 2012, when a poem I wrote went a little viral (largely thanks to StumbleUpon). I remember the rush of seeing how much attention it was getting, and staying up late to keep refreshing the page as the visitor numbers went up and up and up.

But not long after that, I had some closer encounters with fame and people becoming famous. That was extremely eye-opening. I witnessed first hand how strongly that can affect someone's life, for good and for bad. That experience also made me realise, quite jarringly, that famous people are still just people; that celebrity is something extrinsic to them; that they also wipe their own butts (if they are able); and that in many cases, it is a substantial inconvenience if not downright pain in the ass for them. I think this is why we see so many of the big celebrities having mental health crises or trying to live as much of their lives out of the public eye as possible.

That experience pretty much stifled my desire to achieve fame, and really changed my relationship with it. I should add that I could say much more on this topic, but nothing so coherent or insightful as John and Hank Green, who have given me so much clarity on this topic over the years through their thoughtful commentary on youtube and their podcasts.

Anyway, in spite of the fact that fame itself doesn't really appeal to me anymore, I do still have a problem wherein I quickly became addicted to the microdosing of euphoria associated with every reblog and like and follow. So I put huge efforts into social media in order to try to gain traction in the space that I felt I could really compete in—Very Niche SciComm™—and build up a following.

Tumblr was the first platform where I felt that really succeed; I managed to fight my way to a few thousand followers with a thick queue of regular posts about herpetology and other science. At that time, there was a great community building up in the rudimentary private messaging system—I am still friends with several other tumblr bloggers from that era (none of whom I have ever met in person). From that early time (2013), I think my most successful post was probably this one about germination of 32,000 year old seeds—a post that, as of today, has 836 notes, but at the time felt huge and exhilarating.

As I went through gradschool, I got more and more active on twitter, and less and less active on tumblr (by the time I wound down, I had about 8,000 followers on tumblr). This was partly because of the pornbot takeover on tumblr, which meant I basically could not go on the platform in public or at work, but also because the audience and interactions are just fundamentally different. Twitter had a different kind of vibe and energy than tumblr, and there were real SciComm experts there, who were doing it just completely differently. More importantly, I became more focussed on doing outreach aimed at colleagues, rather than non-experts.

Then, in 2017, I hit headlines for the first time. The description of Geckolepis megalepis made it big on social and traditional media, and I had my first experience with real media attention. I had a flurry of late-night phone-calls with journalists in the US. This was a different animal altogether than the few viral posts I had had until that point. It was extremely stressful, but exhilarating. Then in 2018, our chameleon fluorescence story made similar headlines, and in 2019 the Mini frogs, and in 2021 with gecko fluorescence and the smallest chameleon.

Seeing my name on the BBC News website and in the New York Times and National Geographic—those things have been the most surreal moments of near-fame I have experienced so far. The number of followers on social media is quite difficult to conceptualise, but seeing your own name in a media outlet that you consume regularly, or have grown up with, is more palpable.

In any case, I continued to run with twitter as my main platform for years, because I found the interaction with colleagues and other academics highly stimulating. In 2021, I even posted a twitter thread about a different species of frog from Madagascar every day for the full year. All this work was ultimately greeted with mediocre success; I just crested over 10,000 followers a few months before the Musth takeover. But then the platform became basically unusable. And in the fallout, I came back to tumblr, where, just by chance, I happened to find a post about the Mini frogs and reply to it and it went properly viral and now here we are. In the space of a year, I went from having 8000 followers to having >46,000.

How do I feel about that? It's bonkers. I think it is great that so many people are interested in hearing the Good News about frogs and other creatures. But I also feel like I am not really on the same playing field as most of the others in that poll mentioned above, in that I do not have any of the celebrity that several others have. And I know for a fact that there are fanblogs with far, far larger followings than I have. But perhaps that is the great thing about tumblr; that the playing field is somehow levelled…

What's the point of this ramble? Well, first I guess it is to outline that I have given fame a lot of thought over the years, and I have a long-standing and complicated relationship with it, and take it quite seriously. Second, to illustrate that I have been working on as a science communicator or person in outreach for many years—it has kind of been my social media brand since I started gradschool in 2013. And third, to kind of outline how we got here, because I often feel like you have to know where an arrow has come from in order to figure out which direction it will continue to fly.

You asked if I would somehow try to leverage my tumblr fame to get research funding—I already do that. In fact, my social media activity had a signfiicant role in landing me my current job, and will continue to help me achieve tenure. Outreach is an important part of my job, and funders like it too.

I would love to have the community-building power and tenacity of the brothers Green; Nerdfighteria has achieved some incredible things over the years, and the power of that community is now being seen at an unprecedented scale in their battle for equitable access for tuberculosis diagnosis and treatment. But I do not have that in me; this platform is the wrong one for community activation, and my community is still too small for that. Moreover, it is not organised or structured, in the way that I think effective deputisation would require.

As for the crowdsourcing of name ideas, that is currently off the table. I like to try to name things on my own or with my colleauges; it is a very good part of the process. And I have yet to hear a suggestion for a Mini species epithet that I had not already come up with myself, so I am not convinced that this would really augment the experience.

So for now, I hope that the main way I use the platform, and the power that comes with a few thousand followers, will be to spread the Good News about frogs and other wonderful animals, and the other kinds of science happening around us (and occasional other off-topic content). I hope that you are encouraged to explore the world around you, and to do your own reading to find out more about the subjects that interest you. And also I will continue to try to make meme-worthy content, because it does nice, if addictive, things in my brain when I get the clicks.

Thanks for asking, anon, and sorry for the Wall of Text.

[icyg4l]

PAC: Your Upcoming Semester

hello beautiful people! alright so… i lied about not posting the other night. my bad!!! but i hope this makes up for it. i’ve been getting ready for school and i am so excited about this new transition. soon, i will make readings available for sale again. i also have an announcement to make regarding readings for sale soon as well! i hope you guys enjoy the reading! without further ado, please choose your pile!

top left-to-bottom right: (1-4)

pile one: mentally, you’re not prepared to be back in school. pile one, i’m not going to lie. it will take you a while to adjust to the new semester. this summer was definitely vacation time. you took the time off to just relax and do you, but it’s time to put in that work now. do you have your things together? are you registered? have you signed up for classes? if not, you need to do so! once you get the hang of this, i feel like the semester will fly by. i feel like some of you will get into arguments unfortunately. it could be over something small but don’t let it blow out of proportion. i heard “the future looks very promising”. you have to learn how to look on the bright side sometimes to avoid losing your mind. it’s best that you spend time learning a new language or skill. it’s also best that you get involved with the earth club if that’s something you’re interested. i thought of the everest college commercial lol (if you know, you know). don’t waste your time focusing on the small stuff. look at the bigger picture, pile one.

cards used: 7 of wands. 4 of swords. 10 of wands. 8 of swords. 3 of wands. the star. 8 of wands.

extra messages: petty arguments. solo. snooze button. cotton ball. coraline (2009). prove it. plea.

pile two: it feels like you are redeeming yourself, pile two. it feels like you failed your last semester or had the bare minimum grades to pass the last go around. but you don’t have to do anything to prove to anyone but yourself at the end of the day. there is a chance that you could be in front of the cameras during the semester. if you are interested in journalism, now is your chance to get involved. if you want to switch your major or join the broadcasting team, then go for it! you have to learn school-life balance. you have struggled with this in the past. know when you can handle something & know when to take your L, which brings me to another thing. this semester, you should know when to ask for help. if you need a tutor or extra help, you know where to find resources. use them! you cannot do everything by yourself. i see some type of celebration happening. if your birthday is in the first semester, happy early birthday! but this could also mean that you are celebrating a hard and long semester. take pride in your accomplishments because no one can take them away from you. maximize their importance! maximize your importance!

cards used: ten of swords. the hermit. 6 of discs. the emperor. 5 of swords. knight of swords. 4 of wands.

extra messages: vintage. playing cards. coolio. parlay. late night studying. destined to be. rewards. partial completion credit. i’ll take it. osmosis jones. snacking problem. cheez-its. love island voter. kiss me by sixpence.

pile three: this pile is for my people who desire to be in the healthcare industry. i think that this semester will fly by. you have always been on top of your game when it comes to school. you knew that you would do well before you even clicked on this reading. however, i think you will be putting more of an effort to get yourself out there. the dating scene will be improving for you to get in. someone will ask you out on a date. it feels like you’ve been waiting for this to happen. do not let this turn of events distract you from what really matters which is your educational endeavors. this is very specific, but if there is someone you date that is well-connected, utilize their connections to your benefit. make sure that you can get something out of all of your contacts. don’t just let people take up space in your life. this is definitely for my college babes, maybe high school seniors too. just be open to fun and don’t carry shame for wanting to have fun! you deserve to have a life too!

cards used: the tower, queen of wands, the high priestess, the empress, 9 of cups, prince of wands, the hermit, the emperor.

extra messages: veterinarian. crest toothpaste. toenail jam. worms. marine biologist. dental work. boogeyman. letting your hair down. toes in the sand.

pile four: you have a lot of stuff on the line, pile four. there will be so many things available to you that weren’t before & it would be a shame if you didn’t take advantage of that. however, you do not want to do anything that would take away from your drive, finances, goals or educational career as a whole. there are lots of temptations coming up for you this semester. some of you could just be entering undergrad, perhaps grad school too. you will have a lot more control of your life than you did before. but with great power comes great responsibilities. your energy is similar to pile three in the sense that fun is on the way. but you have the tendency to overdo it. if you’re sexually active, then you need to not engage in sex too much. if you drink, then do not engage in drinking too much. it will become a distraction, and then eventually a problem. distinguish who is supposed to be in your life and who isn’t. you have a bit of naïveté about you. lastly, if you are asked to do something that sounds like it would be risky to your academic career/your life in general, DO NOT DO IT! it is not worth the irreparable damage. bending your morals will not work in your favor.

cards used: 9 of cups, death, the magician, 10 of swords, the moon.

extra messages: call home. out of bounds. melodrama (2017). record scratch. debrief. gaining pounds. life hacks. selenite. prozac. potty mouth.

[ninjadeathblade]

Nachos (a Nimona fanfic)

Summary: Nimona tags along on Ballister's nacho date with Ambrosius (set post-movie)

Warnings: A couple swears and that's about it

Word count: 1,050

Fluff with a tiny bit of angst

Author notes: Thanks you to @skating-is-cool for scheming with me on my other post about this. I didn't put loads of effort into this if I'm honest but I let the boys finally have their nachos together.

"You promise to behave?" Ballister asked nervously, refusing to go inside until Nimona agreed. The shapeshifter had been begging to come along with him to his date with Ambrosius. Ballister had reluctantly agreed, knowing that if he'd told her no she would've snuck along anyway. Nimona shrugged, rocking back and forth on her heels.

"I dunno. Maybe." She shot him a grin full of fangs, almost falling over before catching her balance again and leaning forward onto her tiptoes.

"Nimona, please," Ballister sighed, exasperation clawing at the inside of his skull as he brought a hand to his face to rub across his eyes. "This is the first time since…everything that me and Ambrosius have actually been able to go on a date." Ballister struggled to articulate it to her. Mentally, he understood that Nimona was over a thousand years old and had probably seen many people be in love. But he also had latched onto her as some kind of younger sibling or daughter to him, which meant he had to explain everything. "Because we've left the army now, I don't have to hide who I am as much. You should understand that."

"Yeah, I suppose so," Nimona replied, flashing him another smile. "C'mon then, let's go see your boyfriend." Ballister made to grab her shoulder before she headed into the bar but she weaved away from him, slipping through the door into the bar. Ballister gritted his teeth before following Nimona, a certain air of anxiety around him. He knew that Ambrosius still loved him, that hadn't changed. But would it be awkward? The last time they were here Ambrosius was trying to convince him to kill Nimona. Ballister mulled over his thoughts as he followed Nimona through the bar, not paying much attention to his surroundings.

"Hey handsome." Ballister jerked out of his thoughts at Ambrosius' voice, looking down at his lover. Ambrosius smiled softly up at him, moving over in the booth seat to make room for him. Ballister shot him a shy smile in return, sitting down beside him while Nimona took the seat across from him.

"You're sure you don't mind she's here?" Ballister whispered, resting his head on Ambrosius' shoulder.

"She's family, it's not like she wouldn't be here," Ambrosius responded, pressing a light kiss to the top of Ballister's head. Ballister closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of safety. It hadn't been long since the queen had died but it felt like years of being on edge constantly.

"You know I can hear you two, right?" Nimona butted into the conversation and Ballister opened his eyes again, regarding her with a deadpan stare.

"You know you could let us be romantic together every now and then?" He retorted, earning a snort of laughter from Ambrosius. Nimona stuck her tongue out at him before turning her attention to something over his shoulder. She transformed into a mouse, scuttling across the table.

"Be back soon." Ballister sighed with relief, visibly sagging in his seat. As much as he loved Nimona, it did feel more than a little weird having her third-wheeling on his date. After all, she was like a daughter to him. And although he wanted to spend time with her, it felt strange to have her on his date with Ambrosius.

"May I get you anything sirs?" A waitress appeared almost out of thin air beside them.

"Nachos," the two of them said in unison.

"No olives. He's allergic," Ballister added, jerking a thumb at Ambrosius. The waitress nodded, walking away.

"You always have to specify, don't you?" Ambrosius teased, playfully poking Ballister in the side. Ballister laughed quietly, wrapping his prosthetic arm around Ambrosius' waist.

"I can't have you dying. Who would continue the Gloreth bloodline?" Ballister joked with a gentle squeeze to Ambrosius' hip. Ambrosius practically doubled over with laughter, banging his fist on the table a couple of times.

"Shit, Bal, you think I'd actually continue the bloodline?" Ambrosius questioned, eyes slightly teary from laughter as he looked up at Ballister. "The closest thing to a child that anyone is getting from me is Nimona. We are adopting her, right? I mean, I get she's technically older than us but she's still a child, you know?" Ballister placed a gentle kiss against Ambrosius' cheek.

"Yeah, if she's fine with it. I haven't asked her yet," Ballister told him, withdrawing his hand from its position around his lover, fidgeting with his hands under the table. The two of them fell into silence, something that had rarely happened in the time they'd known one another. The waitress returned, placing their bowls of nachos on the table and Ballister didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry." Ambrosius broke the silence. Ballister glanced towards him, noticing the tear tracks down his cheeks. He was honestly unsure if they were from laughter or not. "I'm so sorry I didn't trust you. Or Nimona." Ballister placed his hand over Ambrosius', the dark metal contrasting against his light skin. "I didn't even try to listen to you when you explained."

"It's not your fault," Ballister assured him.

"But it is. If I'd listened, if I'd tried to help then maybe it wouldn't have turned out this way." Ambrosius skimmed his thumb across the back of Ballister's hand. "If I could then I'd change it all." Ballister brushed the tears away from Ambrosius' eyes, turning in his seat to face him.

"But if that happened then we wouldn't have our family," Ballister pointed out, pulling Ambrosius into a hug. The two of them sat there in the booth for a while, feeling grateful that despite everything they still had one another.

"These nachos are delicious, I see why you both keep coming back here." Ballister pulled away from Ambrosius slightly, glaring at Nimona. She was lying slightly across the other side of the booth, a bowl of nachos in her hands as she ate some of them.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Ballister swore. "Can you not see we're having a moment?"

"Yes. And I'm having nachos," Nimona replied, biting into another one. Ambrosius pressed a kiss against Ballister's temple.

"Leave her be. It's fine," Ambrosius said. Ballister smiled softly, pulling the second bowl of nachos towards him and his love.

"Yeah. It couldn't be better."

[leo-interactive-fiction]

Happy (belated) fifth anniversary for Triaina Academy, Leo! I hope that you got to at least do a small celebration for five years of work sometime in June. In the spirit of Triaina being five, I wanted to ask you about the old demo, actually; is there a scene you left / are going to leave on the cutting room floor that you miss? Are there other plot points from it that you really liked? I'm curious about how you feel about it after so long. Regardless, I hope this finds you well!

Hey there! Damn, it really doesn't feel like it's been five years since I've began undertaking this project haha. The very first showing of Triaina Academy was in june, and was fairly sizable for its first posting, hovering around 70k-ish words leading up to the middle of the 2nd chapter and having introductions for everyone except S and F. During then, I had far more free time available to me, and worked on that version of the demo until it grew to around 250-300k words spanning nearly 5 chapters.

But I realized as I had progressed through writing that the quality of my early chapter writing wasn't consistent with the current standards I wanted to have now, and so much of that wordcount was scrapped, with only the skeletonized outline remaining of the old work. I returned to square one and rewrote the story in its entirety from the beginning, leading to the current state now, with the revised version hitting close to 220k words. In the back of my head I consider that, had I just continued writing without a revision, Triaina Academy would already be a finished product.

In many ways I regret that despite it being five years, it feels like there is nothing much for me to show for it. Even more so now that my work pushes me between mental stress and physical exhaustion, often giving me little time or motivation to pull up the writing on my computer. But I love what I've created. I love the joys it brings me as a creative, as well as hearing the joy it brings you all to read. So even if it seems like I fall away, I am still pressing on to continue, even if it's a tiny bit at a time, until it becomes something both I and readers can find joy in.

Now, speaking of the old demo, there's many scenes that have become nonexistent. I liked quite a few of them, and there are probably many overarching ideas that will return in different forms within the new context of the current demo. But there are also many that won't.

A few mentions of old scenes that probably won't be making a return, either because they've been replaced or they are no longer relevant:

During the very first date with raven, although the makeshift "home" returned, there was an additional scene where the MC discovers mutilated bodies in a closet space.

Before the festival scene seen in the demo now, the working equivalent of it in the old demo was an underground party held by students of the academy in an abandoned airport. The idea of this was cut out because within the story, I decided the world wasn't in a current state for airspace travel save for very specific exceptions. But during this scene, the party is interrupted by a body being discovered hanging from the overhead walkways of a hangar, paired with a bloody message.

There was a scene where you could order and allow V to shoot and kill a student. Originally I had thought to make this into a fail state where the MC and V were thrown in jail for a game over, but upon the revision this was taken out entirely, as I decided against abrupt, early endings.

Infamously, E was originally written as a step-sibling character in the old demo. I had thought on testing and developing the dynamic, since I didn't see very many games do it, and my game was pretty heavily inspired by various anime and manga related tropes and character styles. But eventually, I decided to shift them into a childhood friend/next door neighbor romance without adjusting their personality because I put a lot of effort into developing the entirety of their story arch, and I wanted them to appeal to a more general audience. Funnily enough, they are still labeled as their old role within the code, just because it has become too much work to change all of the variables haha

F's personal assistant, Fiore, didn't actually exist within the old demo. At least not in the same capacity. She was added because I realized F's personality didn't work well as an independent romantic driver, and they needed an additional external factor to push F into more romantic situations. Fiore RO DLC is an additional purchase of $9999.

In the old demo, MC's, and to a lesser extent everyone else's parents, played far less of an apparent role. I wanted to develop a story showing the previous generation compared to the current one, as in some ways there is a "passing of the torch" theme throughout the plot.

S and F were introduced far later in the old demo, to the point every other RO was given a full extra date scene before they joined the picture. One goal of my revision was being able to give these two an earlier introduction so they could all have their own date scene. In the old demo they were introduced in a scene where P and the MC had to switch rooms, allowing the MC to meet the last two members of Dorm Exul, as well as I think letting them read P's diary.

You used to be able to choose both M and P's gender independently, but with them becoming more structured as identical twins, M will always be the same gender you pick for P.

R used to be far more of a directly flirtatious character like M, but has since naturally shifted to the laid-back, bantering character they are now as I've continued writing them.

Similarly, V was written in a far more robotic tone with only short one-to-three-word responses, and although they are still fairly terse and unemotional, they've developed over time to have far more spoken dialogue and hints of emotional cracks.

There used to be a fail scene in M's romance if you refused to hit them the first time. Much like the other fail state, this was taken out and the decision between leaning into their masochistic tendencies or not became part of their path selection.

Many of the side characters within the story were not introduced, and so neither were their stories. Lewis and S's hostile relationship was not developed, Rex and Acer only had passing remarks, Treyla, Juno, Uno, and others who were nonexistent to the plot now hold some relevance to specific MC specializations, and instructors other than Rosaline and Hoft were given names and a larger part as progressors of MC specializations.

As far as the most favorite scene that I'll miss leaving on the cutting room for, hmm. It is most likely the school tournament arc that I had planned in the old demo. It was in the works and quite far in development at the time that I realized my writing had taken far steps away from the book's early development, both in quality and creative direction. The tournament was supposed to be a method to more actively showcase the combat capabilities of each character's powers, with several rounds and fight scenes already written. But within this new revised plot, I plan for the S.T.E.M. abilities to develop far slower and gradually with trackable leaps in power, not yet becoming combat capable at the time this tournament arc would've occurred. Still, the scene and idea I had in my head, and what I had already written, was quite fun! Although I probably won't be able to figure out a way for this exact scenario to happen now, eventually I would love to bring back the idea of a tournament, or arena type of setting, at some point in the story haha.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. I didn't think the response would get this long haha. Triaina Academy has recieved so much more positive reception and love than I could have ever imagined when I first began working on it. In all honesty, I had figured that maybe I would be writing for a handful or so to see and think it was neat, and I'd be plucking away at it from time to time with no real thought to its success in mind. But it has instead risen to a stage far larger than I thought it could perform on, almost dauntingly so as I fear for disappointing so many, both with its quality, and the fact I can't dedicate as much into its development as people hope and ask for. Even still, I hope you can forgive me for not being able to rise to expectations, especially in regard to the pace of development, or the length of silence revolving it. The one thing I can promise, is that I still love this creation of mine, and all of you who have seen and may continue to see it flourish, and I do not plan to end its development unless I die a very painful, early death.

Thank you very much!

[rollercoasterwords]

heyy, you said some time ago on an ask you hc Lily would give harry tons of mommy issues if alive, and I'm obsessed with this idea, please tell us more?

hi!!!! i did indeed say that….getting back to this a few days late but love this question 🌝🌝

to answer the first thing i have to explain is that in my mind lily is a bit of a cunt. she’s intelligent & ambitious—we know she was in slug club & made top marks despite not growing up in the wizarding world, which in my mind means she was likely competitive & had this sort of “i’m going to prove i’m better than these assholes” mentality & was also a perfectionist. she was used to being the favorite child/special one, bc we know her parents were excited abt her being a witch which is part of why petunia resented her; but then she had her sister & purebloods in the wizarding world putting her down, so i imagine that like…she’d have a strong sense of self worth and a need to prove herself, but also a bit of a martyr complex. at the same time, she had blinders on when it came to her own friend; we know she didn’t actually cut things off w severus despite him getting involved in nasty shit until he publicly called her a slur. this is actually one thing that i think is very similar about lily & james; though they both ostensibly had a very strong sense of justice, their blind spot was their close friends, which i imagine could make them both a bit hypocritical in that they’d say people who do x are bad but then forgive their friends who do x, etc.

ANYWAY. in a canon compliant setting if i am imagining lily & james relationship. well i’ll be honest i don’t think it was the perfect true love story etc that we’re sold in the books like. they were kids. i think that once they did get together it was v passionate & intense, made moreso by the fact that they were both fighting in a war & had the pressure of knowing they could die any day, etc.; if they hadn’t been fighting in a war, i think they would have broken up shortly after leaving school as they both followed different life paths & matured more as people & realized their first serious teenage relationship likely wasn’t going to be forever. BUT in a canon-adjacent/compliant universe war is on, their relationship is tumultuous but the dire circumstances make them cling to each other even tighter, & in my beautiful mind palace what happens is lily gets pregnant accidentally & they have a shotgun wedding. i’ve written an accidental pregnancy storyline w them in a few of my fics now so i can imagine it playing out in a couple ways, but no matter what in my mind lily was NOT planning to have a baby and has very mixed feelings about it—maybe she doesn’t realize she’s pregnant until it’s too late to do anything about it, maybe she considers aborting but decides against it, maybe she tries to abort but for some reason it doesn’t work or falls through…whatever happens, she ends up having the baby. now she’s a mother yayyyy except she’s a mum in like the most stressful circumstances ever & probably not having a joyous experience w her newborn. maybe some post-partum depression etc.

anyway. imagining canon breaking here and her becoming a mum…feel like this could go a few ways, and the exact mommy issues she’d give her kid would depend on which way it went. let’s say james dies on halloween but lily & harry both make it out; i definitely think part of her would sort of resent harry bc suddenly she’s 20 and she has to spend the rest of her life being a mum and she doesn’t get to enjoy her youth and have a normal life, and also she’s expected to raise the chosen one and also he’s kinda the reason her husband got killed. i think there’d be this sort of distance between them & i imagine her at times making an effort to be the loving mum she’s meant to be but ultimately it’s unsustainable, and harry grows up trying everything he can to make his mum really love him and develops a complex over feeling like there’s something fundamentally wrong with him bc that love & parental warmth just doesn’t come naturally to lily. & if this is a universe where voldemort’s still out to get harry then i imagine them moving around a lot, maybe living in hiding, her raising harry to one day take down voldemort…sorry but i do think she would turn him into the priest’s favorite sacrificial lamb. i think she would raise him to be a soldier/human sacrifice who is constantly feeling like he has to earn love, and neither of them would ever fully be able to give the other what they need or want, even though i do think lily would love harry…i just don’t think she’d always do a very good or consistent job of it!

[sungbeam]

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: thank you to @petrichor-han for tagging me in her lovely wrapped post!! i had so much fun putting this together, and my spreadsheet tracker can finally be used for something bahaha 💀 i'll be talking more about my experiences this year later in the post!

some no pressure tags: @gluion @winterchimez @winwintea @polarisjisung @thepixelelf @sorryimananti-romantic @diamonddaze01 @jinkoh @blizzardfluffykpop @sohnric @from-izzy

first fic of 2024: daybreak ☆ ju haknyeon

posted january 5th

i remember writing this in bed while being in an awful spot, mentally. in an effort to save myself from disaster, i wrote this very short fic to focus on describing something comforting.

last fic of 2024: what we make of it ☆ wen junhui

posted december 1st

i also wrote this one in bed (i've written a lot of these in bed...)!! and it was after much mental simpery over wen junhui and the pics from his new drama that i gave into the idea of general!jun (i've also been dying to write something historically adjacent).

longest fic: incantations ☆ ji changmin

i remember conjuring about four ideas for the dbn halloween event before ultimately settling on yet another demon au TT like there was a cultish monster hunter au, a fallen angel reincarnation au, and a zombie apocalypse au... i honestly didn't know if i would make it or not lol and i had @justalildumpling proofing while i wrote the ending haha i can't say if i'm completely satisfied with it, but i can say that i think my world building and plot building skills have def improved, and you can see it in that fic

most popular fic: leave the window open ☆ choi san

tbh i thought this fic was gonna be a flop at first bc it wasn't until maybe a day after i posted it that it started to get traction? i also had the idea for it haunting my brain for MONTHS and i was so glad to finally get it out into words haha suffice to say, i am still so surprised by how well it did, but pleasantly so!

personal pick: creature ☆ ji changmin

i could talk about this fic, this series, this CHARACTER for DAYS. at this point, nt!changmin is a completely different entity to the changmin you think you know LOL creature is my self-indulgent character study of a demonic being who loves a person so much that he doesn't know what to do with himself

pretty self-explanatory — i honestly have no idea how i wrote over 300k last year, but i'm still pretty happy with how much i was able to write this year! i took a lot more breaks, and more time to write, and this def doesn't encompass just how many words i've written that are still in drafting stages and not published :')

i bet at least one of these surprises you >< (it's changmin right? jkjk)

ji changmin: ~51,900

— find him in: casino royale, subtle poetry, creature, and incantations

txt choi line: ~21,600

— find them in: bird hunt

jeong yunho: ~12,600

— find him in: bedfellows and something to give each other

to my friends, mutuals, and readers, thank you so much for being by my side this year! it's been brutal out here, not gonna lie, and i wish i had been able to post and write more this year. alas, life happens. i also find that writing longer fics that are more fleshed out just satisfy my creative needs a lot better—meaning that i will likely not produce as many fics, quantity-wise, as i used to.

on that note, i hope to at least give you some idea of what you can look forward to in the new year! i have several ideas for my superhero collab, including (but not limited to): mutant angel!jeonghan, scarlet witch!minghao, and venom!changmin. i'm also actively plotting out ventures with our sebongs, particularly a dokyeom knight fic and a fake dating dino fic! as for my current ongoing wips, i am hoping to get more finished for terra nova (high sci-fi/fantasy ateez fic), birds of prey (mafia hongjoong), and other secret projects 😌

that's all from me, friends. happy holidays and see you in the new year 💖🥂✨

[bomikalover]

Did my yearly rewatch of Austin and Ally (all 4 seasons) and now I’m hyper fixated on it. So I decided to yap my head off on here so if you don’t care for anything A&A specific then just scroll and enjoy my other posts or edits of the stuff you do like 🫶🏾

Anywaysss, why I’m here.

AUSTIN AND ALLY’S PARENTS ARENT GOOD PARENTS!!

There i said it.

The only one I give slack is Ally’s mom as she mostly lives in Africa for work (I think?? I kinda black out the parents storyline since I’m here for any else but the parents) plus she wrote a book and when she was in Miami with Ally she spent all her time WITH HER DAUGHTER. She gave advice, presents, and even gave her an opportunity to sing at her event which was the event she overcame her greatest fear. She was polite and sweet to all the kids, put effort to talking to them, and getting to known them. We’ve seen her for maybe 2-3 episodes TOPS in the whole show but I never disliked her. Do I think she could have had a talk with her ex-husband and made him work at his own business?? Yes but they spilt for a reason and maybe she was just already mentally clocked out of anything dealing with him…cuz I know I am.

Her dad on the other hand I majorly dislike. He opened a business just to leave in the hands of his only daughter between ages 14-18 while she was already occupied with school and then her career as an artist. Plus she had friends and a young life that she wanted to live. Fortunately Ally was lucky her 3 friends stuck around all day in Sonic Boom helping out and hanging there instead of completely leaving Ally out since she was constantly busy with work.

He was also extremely cheap. Like being cheap with urself is fine but with ur daughter is a whole nother thing. Like when he gave her emergency funds for when she went to go on tour with Austin and she actually needed it as she was stranded in an unknown state. Just to find out that her dad only gave her $6 and an expired coupon. She once again was on her own and performed for her own well-being.

And he was also unsupportive of Ally sometimes. Like in the first episode when he said that she had one in a billion chance of making it into the music industry. (Austin’s dad said that as well, but we’ll get to him later) WHAT?! Is it so hard to be supportive of ur daughter. (He does support her in future episodes but for me it’s says a lot that the first impression we get of her father is that he’s unsupportive and only wants her to run the family store)

Speaking of no support and forcing their child to follow their footsteps…Mike and Mimi Moon.

They also came out the bat being unsupportive but seemed to care enough to not force Austin to work at the Mattress Kingdom. But they heavily offered the job every time something went slightly off course with Austin’s Career. (Him getting vocal nodes or when he chose loving Ally over his career that he’s been passionately working on for years)

Both of A&A’s parents were just letting their kids travel by themselves or go on tour by themselves. (It’s EXTREMELY common for parents to be MIA in kids tv but these rubbed me the wrong way) like we rarely saw Mr.Dawson at Ally’s performances Vice versa with Austin and his parents. It took Austin having to go the doctors or Ally moving away super far to accomplish her goals to get their attention.

I’m not surprised Auslly has such a strong unbreakable bond when they’re two only children with neglectful parents who are unsupportive of their dreams. They have no one to relate to and share the passion with beside each other. They both have best friends that have been in their lives YEARS before each other yet Auslly talk of each other as if that’s all they have is each other. (Side note: the way Auslly write their songs make me question how much stuff they truly went through together. Like “You can come to me” lyrics are so sweet and intimate but also so deep but it’s extremely evident that they are singing these lyrics to each other and only each other. Like they surpassed hurdles that Dez and Trish weren’t there to surpass with them. I wonder how much of Auslly we haven’t seen and will never see.)

Dez and Trish aren’t only children like Austin & Ally. Dez has a (older?) sister and Trish has a little brother. Both their families seemed extremely happy, loving, and outwardly supportive of them…I can’t say the same for Austin and Ally.

I could go on and on about this topic alone but I’ll spare your eyes from all the reading and stop yapping. But I’ll gladly talk about all my other thoughts about certain A&A things. Like the Auslly dynamic in a whole, why Austin’s passion for music is so strong, or even why Trish can’t keep a job.

But that’s a yapper-sation for another time.

[pub-lius]

Do you have a post on Maria Reynolds? I haven't been able to find much information about her, I read she became a nun or something after the scandal??

i know i do, i am struggling to find it because tumblr's search function has and always will be ass

RAHHH I CANT FIND ANY OF THEM fuck this im giving you a short history of her life because i love you with all my heart

DISCLAIMER: i fucking hate Ron Chernow, especially for his treatment of Maria Reynolds in his book, but him and wikipedia are all I have right now and my relationship with him is very toxic pls help. also this post will discuss heavy things like forced prostitution and ron chernow absolutely butchering this subject so just be aware of what is best for you

Early Life

Maria Reynolds was born as Mary Lewis on March 30, 1768 to Susannah Van Der Burgh and Richard Lewis, who was Susannah's second husband. She had eleven siblings, and they did not have very much money, and were likely a pretty average 18th century white family in America, with poor literacy rates, struggles with debt, and the women being taken advantage of. They lived in Dutchess County, New York.

Maria was literate, but not well educated. This is something she was strongly mocked for by both her husband, Hamilton, Chernow, and other men. Well, I guess Hamilton didn't really mock her, but he definitely looked down on her for it. Fucking asshole. She also seemed to have very strong mood swings from a young age, and this could have been something psychological, like a mood disorder, or it could have been physiological or hormonal, such a menstrual disorder that was never properly treated because women's issues were not taken seriously at the time, mental or physical. This is also something she was mocked for.

Maria was married off to James Reynolds, a Revolutionary War veteran, on July 28th, 1783 when she was 15 years old. James Reynolds often lobbied the government for money after the war, foreshadowing his debt problems and later exploitation of his underage wife for money.

Together, the couple would have one daughter, Susan, named after her grandmother, who was born on August 18, 1785. Maria showed herself to be a devoted mother who would do anything for her daughter, including putting herself in harms way to make sure she didn't face the same fate. Unfortunately, Susan would also later be in an unhealthy relationship, despite her mother's efforts.

Maria Lewis was always described as very emotional, innocent, smart, and pretty, despite those who attempted to degrade her.

Men before Hamilton

It was early in her marriage when she was looked down upon by men, beginning with the son of her first landlady in Philadelphia.

"Her mind at this time was far from being tranquil or consistent, for almost the same minute that she would declare her respect for her husband, cry and feel distressed, [the tears] would vanish and levity would succeed, with bitter execrations on her husband. This inconsistency and folly was ascribed to a troubled, but innocent and harmless mind... [Reynolds] had frequently enjoined and insisted that she should insinuate herself on certain high and influential characters- endeavor to make assignments with them and actually prostitute herself to gull money from them." -Richard Folwell, August 12, 1797

Her complicated feelings about her husband allowed men to reduce her to being deceptive, however it shows that she was torn between her bias towards her husband, who had been around her and influencing her throughout her formative, adolescent years, and the things he was asking her to do, including prostituting herself.

These escalated to more than requests for her to prostitute herself to rich men into demands and threats. Reynolds became physically abusive to his wife if she did not comply with his demands to sleep with and extort rich men. Eventually, this became a pattern, and she became known as a prostitute who slept separately from her husband so she could entertain her midnight visitors, when essentially she was being human trafficked by her husband at the age of 18.

There is evidence to suggest that she only slept with Hamilton when Reynolds threatened to physically abuse her daughter, Susan. I'm not going to go into too much detail about the affair because I believe it's over done, but I am going to discuss how Ron Chernow talks about this woman, and the consequences of victim blaming.

Ron Chernow Hates Women

Ron Chernow discusses the Reynolds Affair in chapter 19 of his novel Alexander Hamilton. Already, he places some of the blame on Elizabeth Hamilton with the sentence "It was a dangerous moment for Eliza to abandon Hamilton,", even though he likes to put her on a pedestal so people think he's a feminist (Chernow 363). You're not a feminist, Ron, you're a 75 year old incel, and I feel bad for your wife.

Chernow introduces Maria Reynolds by stating her age at the time of the affair (23), and for some reason, making up the fact that her name is pronounced "Mariah"??? He gives no citation for this, so I'm assuming he made it up to make her seem more slutty. Her name was Maria. Actually, her name was Mary, but if we had any link between her and the Christian figure for maternity and purity, well that wouldn't work with the portrayal of her as a disgusting, crazy, lying whore, right?

Chernow uses words like "doleful tale", "fanciful", "conspired", and "trickster" to describe Maria, but gives no proof of her malicious intent towards Hamilton. He portrays Hamilton as vain, however a savior to Maria, and she simply HAD to have been in love with him because of how good of a person he was. Ron Chernow manipulates Maria Reynolds' character to fit his personal belief that there are two kinds of women: good, pure, Christian homemakers, and uneducated sluts who deserve their mistreatment from men (Chernow 367).

Even though Ron Chernow finds it more comfortable to believe that Maria worked in cohorts with her piece of shit husband, and that they together decided to use Hamilton for his money, the truth is that she was a severely abused woman throughout her entire life, especially at the hands of James Reynolds. Her manipulation of Hamilton was not to gain something, but to prevent her and her daughter from being abused. Chernow glosses over this, dismissing it as something she made up to secure a divorce, but it was proven true in a court of law. Chernow's famous cognitive dissonance strikes again: the US government is very securely made with a magnificent justice system, yet uneducated, illiterate women can manipulate it to get... a piece of notarized paper! Yeah, don't let this senile old man write any more books. Thanks.

Aftermath

The backlash from The Reynolds Pamphlet, published 1797, would haunt Maria for the rest of her life. She remarried twice, once to Jacob Clingman, who is another piece of shit who should have his dick guillotined, and the other time to Dr. Matthew (idk his last name) who she was a housekeeper for. She allegedly wrote her own pamphlet, but never published it. Idk anything about that.

Maria would raise her two grandchildren after her daughter's untimely death. She also changed her name back to Mary, becoming Mary Matthew for the rest of her life. She was devoutly religious, joining the Methodist Church, but not a nun. She died loved on March 25, 1828. And if there isn't someone on earth who loves Mary Matthew, then I am dead.

Here's your Maria Reynolds post. I love her so much, and I will defend her until I have no voice left, my fingers can't write or type, my eyes can't move, and my legs can't walk. She deserves so much better than what she got and how she's been portrayed. Vive Mary Lewis.

[hyperesthesias]

Can you actually write something smutty for Viktor? Or just a guide on how to? I really want to write some Viktor smut, but I'm worried I won't do his disability justice as I'm able bodied and a dumbass

Of my twelve years on this webbed site, this has got to be the best ask I have ever received lmao

I would be happy to help, friend. I'll answer this in two parts.

Yes, I am planning on writing Viktor smut for Viktor x Anya. I had a lot happen in the year since I made the post you're referencing, but I've finally been able to get back into fandom stuff. I wanted to lay some backstory with them first though, as I am apparently a PWP kind of person lmao. It's coming soon! (No pun intended).

You've taken the first great step in recognizing that your experience and knowledge may not be congruent with potential portrayal, and therefore asking for advice. I don't mean to sound patronizing at all. I am an author and I have seen many professional authors that don't do this, so you're already ahead of the game! I wouldn't consider that dumbassery in any way, shape, or form.

I'll put the rest under a cut due to the nature of this post.

*Disclaimer to this is, of course, I don't speak for every disabled person, this list isn't extensive, and these are my opinions.

I, personally, operate under the assumption that Viktor has Post Polio Syndrome. Looking at photographs (x, x, x) it's pretty clear the animators used PPS as a framework for Viktor's movements and posture, as well as his mobility and assistive devices. People with PPS often develop need for braces, canes or crutches, and treatment for scoliosis -- all of which Viktor has. You are more than welcome to headcanon something different, as I don't believe the writers or animators have ever confirmed or denied PPS, but based on my own experience and research, I would bet money on it.

That being said -- regardless of PPS, or otherwise -- the first thing to consider when writing smut for any disabled character is fatigue. It may not be the obvious thing, as mobility devices often are the first thing to catch an observer's eye. But there is so much that goes on beneath mobility devices. Fatigue is a big one.

Consider the worst flu you've ever had -- all the time, every day, even in your sleep. It can be maddening, like you can't get any relief -- even if you take pain reliever or use other analgesics. Most people with a severe flu aren't exactly in the mood to be frisky, especially spontaneously. Many physically disabled people rely on preplanning. Having a date night where they can plan for extra pain reliever, or where they can schedule the rest of their day or week to conserve energy for a special night. The psychological energy that people need to conserve alone can take a lot of effort. Being disabled is also mentally exhausting, especially when you have a partner and their needs to consider. Giving a disabled person time to prepare for sex (or other tasks) is essential.

Related to that, is the fact the energy levels aren't always consistent. A disabled person and their lover could be going at it like rabbits for a while and then suddenly the disabled partner may need to stop because their "battery" (their physical energy levels) has run out. They may need a break for a few minutes, or they may just need to end the sexual encounter altogether.

The worst thing you (or your character) could do is take this personally. It has nothing to do with their partner, it's their body that is (frustratingly [on many levels]) not cooperating.

Something to toy with (no pun intended) when writing characters with energy level deficits is vibrators. Twice the work with half the effort. Don't be afraid to write smut with toys and vibrators -- it doesn't even have to be kinky. Toys and vibrators are normal and vanilla, all things considered. The only reason they haven't been normalized is because of patriarchal standards as to what sex is and is supposed to be.

The second thing to consider is physical limitations of positions and potential discomfort. I've seen several fanfic writers describe situations and positions that Viktor simply would never be able to do (e.g. lifting his partner onto a table or desk).

Viktor doesn't have a lot of strength. That's not to say he can't be rough or that all smut has to be vanilla. But realistically, it's absurd to think that he can lift someone else or manhandle them with any force, or thrust at the speed of light (💀). He also doesn't have any balance whatsoever post Act I. During Act I, he's able to hobble somewhat without his cane, as long as he has something to hold onto, as seen in episode three. But in Acts II and III, his balance issues combined with scoliosis would make any positions where he has to stand much more difficult.

Therefore, if you're wanting to write a scene somewhere outside of a bedroom (e.g. the lab, his office, etc.), he'd need something to balance himself. Seated sex is a great concept to play with -- very disability friendly and offers many options for all sorts of scenes. Desk/table sex is also realistic, as long as your character lifts themself onto the desk or table, and he's able to lean on it.

Scenes that take place in the bedroom also have their own limitations. He has zero use of his right leg, which means he'd need more time to get in and out of different positions. Missionary would take a toll on his back, I'd imagine, from being hunched over -- not that he couldn't do it at all, but that was more of a sidenote. Having your character straddle him, while his back was supported, is probably the most comfortable position I can imagine. Or spooning. Or maybe doggy, though I think his back and hips might get tired. But I'm just spit balling at this point. Utilizing objects from the setting is important -- pillows, having your character bent over the back of a couch, etc. This is where creativity comes in -- it's just important to keep in mind where his limitations are located on his body: his back and his leg/hip.

There are also adaptive devices for sex and disabilities.

One final thing I want to say is: don't overcorrect. This is common. It's one thing to keep a character's disability in mind, but it's another to make a disability the entire character. Just because Viktor is disabled doesn't mean he can't have the filthiest, most disgusting, raw, life changing, I-should-visit-a-confessional type of sex. However you headcanon him to be in bed is exactly how he can be. If you see him as a cruel Dom, he absolutely can slap the shit out of whoever has the pleasure of being beneath him, while he makes them beg for his mercy -- with his back and leg supported. If you see him as a bratty sub, he can be that, too -- while he lies there with a back pillow to relieve pressure off his spine. If he's the plainest, blander-than-vanilla type of lover, that's exactly what he is -- while he takes a few extra minutes to move from one position to the next. If he's any combination of those things, more power to you.

The point of writing a scene, is the point you're trying to make. Meaning: a lot of writers worry about conveying ideas and settings perfectly and with detail, while losing sight of the main point of their story. Rarely will you ever have to add paragraphs to a piece of writing in order to convey something, especially if it's not the main point. Often, it only takes one or two sentences. Keep the main point of the scene in mind. If you're writing a fic where Viktor and your character are secretly getting it on in the lab, then the point and the idea of that scene is the forbidden sex they are having. Not necessarily his limitations. You can easily acknowledge Viktor's disability by saying something like: 'Viktor sat on a chair at the far end of the lab, away from the door's line of sight. He leaned his back against the seat, allowing his spine to settle, before he coaxed his lover onto his lap. His lover straddled his legs, reaching to kiss his neck, while his hand trailed up their thighs...' You've successfully conveyed the limitations he has in two sentences, while maintaining the focus of your scene, and without reducing Viktor to a caricature of his disability. Less is more throughout your fic.

As a side note, which is completely my headcanon -- and something I've vaguely alluded to in my Viktor x Anya fics -- is that Viktor also has erectile dysfunction as a result of the PPS. Polio is a neurological virus, meaning is attacks the nerve cells, the main cause of the atrophy in PPS. It isn't common, but it's not uncommon for males with PPS to struggle with ED. As such, in my own personal stories, I have mentioned that Viktor takes medication to help with it. Sildenafil (the generic for Viagra) is a medication that specifically targets nerves.

That's my own person interpretation, though, and has no bearing on what we seen in Arcane lol.

To close this off for now, I want to reassure you that your efforts count and they matter. No one will write any depiction of disability 'perfectly'. Disability is unique to every person, and one person's spinal disability will look different to another's. Even people with the exact same diagnosis and prognosis will differ in how they experience it. You're not a dumbass. You're very intelligent to recognize the need for external resources. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the work you write, and keep asking questions.

If and when you decide to write your Viktor smut piece, I would love to read it. And likewise, if you'd like to read what I write I'd be happy to send it to you! If you're comfortable coming off anon, you can message me privately and we can talk more!

[gomzdrawfr]

want to join the fandom cause it seems fun seeing fanarts and you and others interacting but I don't know how...and with the whole ai thing im scared...

my advice: just do it

really! sometimes all you really need is a leap of faith, and that was exactly how I dropped into the cod fandom. When I joined the ghoap discord server I talked to one of the artist I really like and respected from my lurking time (hi @bressynonym) aaaand the rest is history

I didnt know how to draw properly, nor digitally, all I did was scribbling on OneNote (yeah!) and rambled about cod characters, it is daunting and it is scary to interact but after a while? you may just be able to find someone to brainrot together with

start small, like commenting, reblogging, talking, chatting- doesn't have to be towards artist/writers, it could be the art/fic enjoyers!

you need to put yourself out there if you want something

as to if you want to start in the fandom as a creator, here's some more tips (which are all based on my experience, I am no pro at doing this, hell Im still learning myself, and I am by no means speaking these on behalf on others!)

establish a goal: what are you making? fandom based? original creations?

as with starting new, everything may take a while for stuff to happen, you'll feel like you're speaking to the void at times (esp with original arts, but do know that your stuff do get perceive by others as time goes, I would advise to draw fandom stuff as a beginning to get that boost going if you want! or else it's going to be quite hard to get things rolling)

imo this is hardest part of any new creator, you'll have to bear with it and try not to give up (but I understand how incredibly demotivating it could get, there were times when I stopped posting about Raven entirely, but eventually I post it anyway cuz surely someone out there will like them, it just takes a lot of patiences and perseverance)

btw, engagement can also vary from time to time, you may be booming for a bit, then suddenly you dont, it is a cycle that will bound to happen

take rest regularly, and I mean a break from social media because numbers, discourse and everything can get to you, very quickly (I cannot emphasise this enough)

the numbers are not worth it over your mental health (comes with practice to really solidify this thought)

study the algorithm (pain): see what other creators are doing to get where they are, what tags are they using in their post? what features/niche do people like?(this is, if you really want to grab some form of engagement, bcuz reminder in the end you are creating art for yourself first!)

example: I think posts would get more reach if you tag it with the ship name first, followed by the characters' name (doesn't work all the time tho)

that's the thing about algorithm, it is ever-changing, and you'll have to learn to adapt with it when it does!

expanding on that, studying algorithm could be about ships (for example, ghostsoap is most popular in the fandom), or really good rendered art/flashed out fic that leaves your jaw on the floor, or ships that gets lesser attention in general which puts you, who make content about them, easier to be brought into the light (like Faralex)

bUT, it can also be personality!

(again, not saying this is meant for everyone and strictly from my own experience + what I observe) for me, I made up the lack of my art by establishing a personality: a wild panda who yaps about price and their oc and also kinda everywhere in the place (just like this post LOL), OR you're the person who named themselves after Soap's ash particle number OR you're the one who likes bottom Ghost- literally anything goes, you want to make an impression in different ways, some more funny/goofier than others but it works (be mindful and stay respectful tho, dont wanna be the asshole in the fandom now do ya?)

efforts ≠ engagement (not all the time, but most time) and this is a fact. Sometimes, you can't expect a piece you did for 10+ hours to get thousands views and likes, especially in a fandom space. You need to understand algorithm is that wonky. (very disheartening, but again, you make the art for you and the few others who genuinely likes them, and those people can go a long way) be mentally prepared for such events, and try not to beat yourself up too much for it

ultimately tho, do it, do it scared but do it anyways and again, draw the things that bring you joy, I hope these could be helpful in some ways!

[vamptarot]

Get To Know Your Reader

— ⭑.ᐟ this post will detail information about me and about my journey with tarot, and it is made with an effort to create a bond with my followers that relies on trust.

Hi sweet little darling, thank you for reading this post and being interested in me and my journey. While I do not enjoy talking about myself too much, I never enjoyed being cold towards people I interact with, could possibly friends with or form any sort of connection with.. so with that in mind, I wanted to make a post in which you get to know who is doing your readings for you, with the utmost friendly manner possible.

To start off, you probably must have read my pinned already in which you get to learn that my screen name is Rory, and that I am a 03 liner! What’s not there though, is that I am genderfluid and prefer he/him pronouns, but I really don’t care if you use different ones for me. At the end of the day, no one will die from it.

I love tarot, but I am interested in anything that is spiritual. The world is full of wonderful things, and I want to explore what’s real and what’s not. [Okay, Dipper Pines.]

I, for one, believe in God, Jesus, Mary and so on.. However I am not Christian. It’s not a community I am proud of, neither do I have enough hate in my heart to be called one. Although, I did use to be one, until I have seen parts of the community I will never be proud of. Though, that is a story for another time, as I don’t want to go on a vent about it on this post. I also admire the teachings of buddhism, although I am not one either. As Thich Nhat Hanh once said, ‘you don’t have to convert to buddhism in order to respect it’s teachings. just apply it to whatever you are right now.’, or you know, something like that. It’s what I try to keep myself to, so I can have a peaceful heart.

Aside from that I believe that the only limit to spirituality is the lock that you put on your mind. If you don’t believe in it, why would you experience it? You are the universe, if you don’t believe in it you sure as hell won’t see it.. So therefore, I do my best to be open minded and believe in as much things as possible. I will never miss out, unless I wish to 🙂‍↕️

Unfortunately that mentality has led me to quite a few encounters with spirits, pretty sure demons a few times, but at the end of the day I survived so it was fun.

I believe in all the Gods and Goddesses, manifestation (I am amazing at this btw), clair-gifts, reality jumping/shifting, astral projection, witchcraft and so on.. name it, I probably believe in it.

Although, I was cursed with a rational mind.. for the spiritual, I am too rational.. for the non believers I am too in the clouds. Is there a way to win? Well, as long as I am having fun and living well who cares. That’s sorta my motto.

Anyway, one thing you don’t know yet about me though is that I have the most common sun sign on planet earth, which is Virgo, with the second most common sign on earth having a strong influence on my chart.. which is Leo! So you already know I am meant to be a hard working star, that stays in the sky for millions of years, making people look at it with awe. 🙂‍↕️

Some people call that egoistic, I call it having confidence. My only enemy is my speech disability... BUT HE IS LOSING !!! 🗣️

Jokes aside, I have made this blog for important reasons. Important to me, at least. First and foremost, of course I want to have better finances, save up for important things and feel a bit more free. I want to achieve this through hard work. That is my most selfish reason for it, and it’s not something I feel bad about.. everybody has the right to live, and that includes me!

As for my other reasons, that all has to do with things I dislike about the community and which I want to change. Not everything about it, but make little steps towards a brighter future.

This is where I will vent, as the things I will mention are important to my journey towards creating this blog. I am a pretty passionate speaker, and as you can tell I talk a lot. So if that’s something you don’t enjoy.. well prepare mentally or click of the post beautiful, those probably won’t change about me. I don’t mean this from an ill place of my heart, but don’t you think you have the right to know?

Anyway, one of my main reasons for starting this blog is due to how judgmental some tarot readers are. I am of course, not speaking about those who have boundaries, I believe everybody should have them in a healthy manner.

I am speaking about those tarot readers that belittle you over your differences, that say that you can ask any question because they will answer each one but purposefully delete yours while answering everyone else then lie to your face about it, those who immediately rule you out as a bad person as soon as you speak your mind because they cannot handle anything about this community that’s outside their fantasy bubble, that give you inaccurate readings because they are judgmental of your lifestyle and their mentality effects the result of cards, those who don’t hear you out on your experience and rule it out as something else despite claiming they are open minded, the ones that are fake kind to you but judge the kind of reading you buy… as if you cannot tell that their energy is off.

I know hate is a strong word, but I hate the behaviour of those sort of people. Not the people themselves, I don’t know them, but the behaviour is so displeasing in my eyes. [Personally, I don’t feel sorry for saying this, if the shoe doesn’t fit you, don’t wear it.]

That is why I want to create a blog that is a safe space, a judgement free zone.

To be honest with you my dear, I am not the most open minded on this planet despite being a diverse person. I prefer to dress modestly, hook up culture was never for me and never will be for me, I don’t get the appeal of smoking, vape, drinks or drugs. Matter of fact, if you do drugs, even if it’s “just” weed I will assume that you are going through it. One thing I am never going to do is judge you though. As long as you are not irresponsible with it, it should be fine. Watch out for your health and for those around you.. That’s what I think the key is, having manners. Like sure, you will make mistakes along the way but it won’t stain your heart. Besides, who doesn’t make mistakes? I for sure have made mistakes before, as I am a human. What right do I have to judge you so harshly? None.

I am not God, I am just me.

That is why I never want to become someone that makes you feel unsafe and judged even if I have my own opinions. What’s the point of being a spiritual healer if you, yourself inflict pain on others? It might be small, but pain is pain and everyone carries it within their heart differently. What doesn’t matter to me, could move mountains for you.

That is the reason why I also didn’t start posting here until I have healed from my past hurts. Maybe not for you, but to me my current personality is very bubbly and much different from who I used to be. Which, although makes me a feel a bit unusual, I am glad about! I now have more strength to be kind and accepting of people.

I am aware this doesn’t really sound convincing, and some followers of mine could be anxious of how they are perceived.. Which is valid, but what if you are different from me? So what? There are many people who I love dearly despite them not sharing my beliefs or life style.

Matter of fact, let me tell you about a few examples where I have done readings for people that were majorly different from me.

The very first one is about a friend of mine.. she is someone with very interesting kinks. I will not be writing them out, because it makes my stomach turn and I don’t want you to read that. However, one day she asked me if the person she is in a situationship with is into the same.. gore related stuff as her. You know what? That honestly shocked me, I needed like half an hour to calm down and do her reading, which luckily ended up being ‘a no, but willing to try out other things’ sorta answer. A few months later she told me I ended up being right.. Proud of my intuition, and a few days later I could just accept that some people are into that. Do I get it? Nah, but as long as both parties consent, who cares. [I wanna state no one got hurt during this, they are just kinky mfs 🫡]

Or, let me tell you about another friend of mine who happens to be an online friend! She was going to a concert of an artist she likes and told me she will be giving the guy her number. To be honest with you, I wasn’t clear of her intentions I just knew it wasn’t malicious. Like any person, I reacted out of surprise, ‘okay, yeah, sure’.. because when would you have the time to do that during a concert? But being the kind of friend that I am still did a yes or no reading for her upon her request. To my surprise the lovers fell out with the star.. I was like, that cannot be right.. So I shuffled another three times. The same cards kept on falling out… Which actually made me mad, she thought I was lying! After that, we didn’t speak for a few days. Until the day of the concert! Where she told me she was successful! Now I accused her of lying, lmao. Then she sent me a picture of them hugging as proof, and you know what? I was actually excited for her, like go girl. I do not know if she got to sign an NDA that day or not, but I have enough common sense to finish the story here 🫡 [for my obsessive little princesses and princes that worry that was their celebrity crush.. it wasn’t, this about, is at that time, in his mid 30s white man. for those into that, not the jones brothers bby. my friend is also his age, so don’t worry about it. I do not intend ‘princess’ and ‘prince’ as mocking, they are nicknames I like! I also call my friends these]

I have also done readings about how xyz will die, messages from Gods, past life readings, why is __ acting weird, reading about cults.. lot of diverse things.

Either way, I have strayed away from the point a bit which I don’t want to further do…The point is, I never want to be the sort of person that makes you feel belittled. So even if your reading is not my style, as long as it doesn’t affect your or anybody’s health in a bad manner, I will happily do it. Even if you or other people think it’s weird!

After all I am a weirdo too, lol. I believe we all are in somebody’s eyes. What’s normal for me, can be weird for you and vise versa. That’s why I just decided to be unapologetically myself on this blog! And if you decide to do the same, I am proud of you.

My goal when making readings for people is to let them know they are safe, understood, respected and will get the best that they can get from me.

As in, I will always try to make my readings good and accurate. Since I talk a lot, I will make every reading long by default, and I will never do them when exhausted, stressed or overwhelmed in order to make sure that they actually do resonate. I have a lot of passion for this, so my ultimate goal is to be sincere and hardworking since tarot is something I take seriously.

Since there are people who use AI to do readings, I will work twice as hard to show that it will never be as good as when someone actually cares for the person the reading is for. I know they think nobody notices, but I do. And I will create a better environment for people in the community out of pure spite!

So, even if it will take a while to do that.. take a seat! I will be here, doing my best.

I do sincerely wish that you will find me a refreshing person, and a good reader! Well, I know I am good, I have been doing this since I am 8 years old, practicing it every week! But, if our bond can become stronger through readings that’s always good! I am happy to be reading for any of you.

If you still don’t like me after this.. that’s completely okay! You are not obligated to. Maybe in a few months, or years I won’t like the person I am today either! Maybe my humour will change, or I will find myself egoistic, or perhaps too bubbly and annoying. Who knows! For now, this is the person that I am, and if you don’t like it, that’s okay! I hope you will find a reader that you can connect and click with like it’s meant to be. I think everyone deserves that! 🫶🏻💓

If you have made it this far… are you not exhausted reading this much? Have a drink, and a snack if you want! Take a break if you have been scrolling on tumblr for long. Or don’t, it’s up to you what you do with your time 🫡

Thank you for reading, I sincerely appreciate you from the bottom of my heart with each passing day where the sun rises and falls.

[minweber]

The thing about Watchers of the Throne books is that I found them at best moderately interesting while reading through them, but have since thought about their contents much more often than such review would suggest.

It comes down, rather unsurprisingly, to the main characters. Valerian and Aleya are great! Each is interesting to read about solo and they have a great dynamic when put together... It’s a real shame then, how little of them as a duo we actually get. Makes me wish that the whole Tieron/Jek/High Lords/Terran perspective on the historic events thing - which actually is also great! - was its own separate book, while these two starred in a different, smaller scope story.

But the part that really makes me come back is how appealing I find both Valerian and Aleya as windows into mentality of their respective orders. The way they think, act and react gels really well with the way I want to see Custodes and Sisters portrayed - so much so, in fact, that it's almost a shame that both of them are presented as something of deviants within their factions.

Valerian's calm and pleasant, but somewhat detached manner is a great way to portray these nigh-immortal superhumans, I think! Competent and well-meaning, but so far removed from the humans they interact with, that they aren't capable of fully understanding some of their emotions and motivations.

One of my favorite bits of the first book is when Aleya takes her frustrations with custodians' inaction out on Valerian and accuses him of not caring about humans and their lives by mentioning her homeworld and going "Oh, I bet you've never even heard about it". Not wanting to antagonize her, Valerian doesn't object, but in his head begins to reflexively recount a whole ass wikipedia article on the place, to a level of detail that suggests that he probably knows more information about it and its history than Aleya herself. What a delicious moment! Both refuting and supporting her sentiment - clearly this sort of detached, "academic" knowledge does not infer the kind of caring she meant... but it does infer some kind of caring. Even with a magic brain of a custodian, taking time to study something, learn about it in detail, put in effort - it all implies care for the subject - possibly a huge amount of it, depending on the perspective.

And I really like that! For a setting so obsessed with trans- and post- humanism, warhammer - in my whiny opinion - doesn't seem to delve enough into the way its supposedly hyperevolved superhumans would think. More often that not the depiction of what is supposed to be this whole other mode of human existence is limited to a character being super smart while offscreen and having very hightened, operatic emotions while onscreen.

And on one hand - it is very understandable why it ends up this way. All stories we tell - be their subjects talking objects or space supersoldiers - are, at least in some way, about human condition. So distancing your characters from it may seem counterproductive to telling a good story. But on the other hand - surely there exists enough variance in this incredibly vague term to justify broader exploration and departures? I found Valerian's way of thinking and caring to be a refreshing and interesting character trait. But could it mean something more, be more relatable perhaps, to someone neurodivergent? Or just someone otherwise different from me?

What I am trying to say is that I believe that leaning into exploration of what various "modified" ways of human thinking and perception might look like, is not only worthwhile as a tool for creating better fantasy stories - but also a generally useful literally tool that can help one deepen their understanding of others.

Aleya's side of the story actually feeds into it as well, though, I believe, a bit differently. Where the entertaining thing about Valerian is often how unconscious he is of his differences from those he interacts with, Aleya overcompensates in the other direction. She seems to be very acutely aware of how her condition makes her different from regular humans, and constantly runs her perception of the world through that filter, noting that several times throughout the books how her opinions or reactions are different to those a regular human would have in the same situation.

There are the fairly objective consequences of her powers, like most humans being uncomfortable around her, or her perceiving daemons and all their activity drastically differently. But she also notes herself as being less emotional than humans (which further reading... puts in question) as well as often unable to understand their motivations (which is very much a thing that very regular humans do as well). And while entirely possible as consequences of whatever pariahs' condition in warhammer is supposed to be, it is also tempting to say that it may have much more to do with her self-perception and upbringing. And that, in turn, poses a question about the source of otherness in general - we've all felt alienated at one or another point in our lives, but how much such feeling are to be trusted? When do they come from within and when without? When do we fight them, and when do we embrace them?

Anyway, the books are fine. I am normal about them. They kill a few Minotaurs in there.

[anemoiashifts]

why everyone won’t shift.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

“do you think everyone will shift?”

no.

“but if they really want they’ll eventually—“

no.

before you pick up your pitchforks & form an angry mob in the comments, hear me out.

first & foremost. what is a want ? a want is something you desire. but not every want is desired. for example, ive been thinking of getting a cat once i move out of my parents house. i want the animal & have the funds for it. when i dig deeper in my desire, i see all the vet trips, the having to feed it & take care of it & i realized that i don’t actually want the cat at the moment. im not ready to make that drastic of a change in my life. on the surface, id like one but i don’t want to take on the responsibility for taking care of a pet at the moment.

i like the idea of getting a cat (shifting) — but when the actual time comes to get a cat (actually shift), i don’t actually want a new pet at the moment (to create that big of a change because i am comfortable with my situation & not mentally prepared / mature enough).

i made a post about comfort already. what previously spoke about can tie into this.

if you don’t actually want something & just like fantasizing about it, that’s okay. but fantasy & imagination needs to be backed by intention. you need intention & effort put into your shifting attempts. ive seen so so many people say “i tried to shift” & all they do is say “i said one affirmation & rolled over & went to sleep & hoped i would wake up in my dr.”

you could say a million affirmations & hope you will wake up in your dr & not shift. you know why ? hope. it’s not hoping you will shift — it’s that internal knowing. it’s letting go fully of the comfort & all you know of this life to go to another & a lot of people don’t want to do that even if they say they do. again, they like the idea of shifting, but aren’t stopping to consider that you’re actually living it.

this isn’t a bad thing. if you actually have come to the conclusion that you don’t want to shift & are in the community — that’s okay. if you’re just interested in the science or content for the subject & that’s why you’ve stumbled across this blog, i don’t have an issue with that.

when i say not everyone will shift, i mean that not everyone wants to shift in the first place despite what they may say. what they want is an escape. time & time again i see comments on tiktok say “i want to get out of this reality”. that statement has nothing to do with wanting to shift — it’s wanting to get out of the situation you are in. you do not have to shift to get out of your current situation. if you live with family or are younger, it’s different, i understand.

if you’re someone who thinks “when i shift, ill be happy.” no no no. happiness comes from within you. while the 3d can bring you momentarily happiness, that only lasts so long. if you don’t have internal happiness & self love those feelings won’t last. shifting — in my option — can sometimes be putting a bandaid on a bigger issue & that’s loneliness & a yearning for another life. you can solve both of those right here at anytime.

lastly, shifting takes effort despite what you may think. “but such and such shifted without trying”. cool, that’s them. but have you ? if you’re reading this im going so safely assume at least a handful of you are saying “no” internally. when you want something you have to work for it. weather that be manifestation or putting yourself first. if you wake up & think “i didn’t shift” or “i hate this world it’s sucks” guess what ?? you’re focusing on the negative. what you pay attention to & give your energy to expands because you’re shifting awareness to it. you make up your thoughts & control them, thus affecting the 3d.

im not saying you can’t shift with negative mindsets or anything. im saying confidence helps a ton. how are you going to believe other people can shift when you can’t even extend that belief to yourself ? you’re making it much, much harder for yourself. doing healing work, finding the root cause of why you want to shift (for love, sense or belonging, etc.) & finding that here first, may alleviate the desperation to shift. when you have a sense of knowing, there’s nothing to be desperate about because whatever happens, you know the outcome already.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

[civilotterneer]

The Search for Civ

Lye's Personal Log: 9/15/2024

Civ has been missing for almost a week now.

His disappearance was completely random. Checking his belongings and room, there was no signs of him saying where he would be going. His friends and coworkers said he had gone home with no word of him planning on anything. When I awoke on Tuesday, we was nowhere to be seen, though I had noted he had come home the night before.

The cops have made the missing persons report. The local diviners are unable to find a trace of him. Even my own magical efforts show him to have all but been home one moment, and then gone the next, with only a magical error that seems to think he's somewhere in the sky. No magical teleportation traces or dimensional portals to be found. By all accounts, it's as if he simply vanished.

I wonder if the procedure I did was the problem. A month ago, I had found magical traces of the monster we encountered in the ghost town known as Echo within his mind. A slow leaking magic, one that started to get stronger with time. Nevermind Civ's mental state deteriorating over the course of the month, but I feared if this continued that the creature from Echo could be using Civ to expand its territory, which I had to stop.

I had performed a magical removal procedure to remove this magical infection. Alas, this procedure removed his memories of his visits to Echo, which I thought was a happy side effect, but it successfully removed the magical infestation. It was contained and safe.

But Civ was magically vulnerable post-procedure, and it wouldn't take much for an entity to overpower him in his state, something I'm starting to worried may have happened. Even now, I worry that targeting him with strong divining magic may harm him.

However, I've run out of options.

At this point, the only way to reach Civ would be to use something magically connected to him. As a magic-less being, Civ would typically make this inordinately difficult.

But...

This magical infestation, it has parts of Civ in it. Memories, a connection, the strongest magical item connected to him. It might be the only object capable of this level of magic.

To make matters better (but also somewhat worse), Kerry put me in contact with her families...special resources. Dealing with them will be dangerous...but they might be the only way to save Civ.

I will begin preparations for this magical ritual, but it will take time, time I will use to exhaust all other search methods first. I am fearful of what may come in the future, but hopefully it will be worth it to get Civ back.

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