#i could go.....on a lot more about him but i'm keeping it brief bc my laptops about to die
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OKAY HERE ARE SOME SAM THOUGHTS BEFORE I CLEAN MY ROOM (some platonic but mostly romantic)
loves getting his hair played with (romantically and platonically)
main love language is quality time
could have this giant on his knees if you compliment constantly (his looks or his personality) (mainly his personality) (he knows and is aware of how conventionally attractive he is but isn’t cocky about it) (like another winchester LOL)
runs warmer than the average human being so he’s your personal heater in the winter
but in the summer you make sure he stays far away from you bc man sweats A LOT in his sleep 😭😭
I HAVE MORE BUT I GOTTA CLEAN MY ROOM
ILL BE BACK LATER WITH DEAN AND MORE SAM 🤭🤭
djhJHFSKDJ SAMMMMM AAA okay okay bear with me while i go absolutely insane LMAO. like this is long LOL so i am gonna add a cw for anyone who stumbles upon our time of feeding each others delusions <3 i got carried away ahahahaha hehehehehe i'm normal about him tho!
wc: 1.6K. cw: kissing, a bit of swearing, brief mention of things trying to kill you bc that's the life lol, unedited
⟢ playing with his hair : do NOT get me started on sam's hair <3 it's always so pretty, and you have to make that known! sure, you do it out loud, but we'll get to the complimenting in a bit hehe. your favorite way of making it known (and definitely his) is by playing with it. constantly. and he can never get enough. sure, he gets embarrassed or picky about it around dean, like he does with just about anything romantic or sweet (mostly because dean won't ever let that sort of thing go un-teased). but he just loves so much to lay his head in your lap and let you thread your fingers through that pretty brown hair <33 it makes him feel so relaxed, and cared for in a way that doesn't feel overbearing or overly obvious.
and he loves it especially it because he knows that you do. he can feel you physically relax from under him when you sweetly run your hands through his hair, gently pulling apart any small knots and taking your time to take care of that gorgeous head of hair. he will also certainly melt and try to hide the pink tint to his cheeks when you reach for his hair unexpectedly, like when you lean in to fix a fly-away strand or full on card your hands through his hair when he's in the middle of research and didn't notice you approach.
also!! put your hands in his hair when he's kissing you!!! please!!! he's begging on his knees!!! god, he loves that so so much and he gets a secret ego boost because, once again, he can physically feel how much you love it too. he'll always kiss you harder when your hands move to tangle themselves in his hair.
gets embarrassed if you put little braids in his hair, especially as he grows older and it grows longer, but he can't resist how much it makes you smile, so he lets you get away with it if dean isn't around. and just imagine putting pretty clips in his hair LOL he pouts and asks you to take them out immediately, but not before kissing the smug grin off of your lips. will die and try his hardest to delete them if you ever get pictures of him like that, but you keep your blackmail well protected hehe.
as for platonically, that is facts! he thinks its very sweet if you're his best friend or sibling! it's not as big a thing as it would be in a romantic relationship, but he'll love to have his hair played with by anyone willing <33
⟢ love language; quality time : this is like almost sad and especially sweet at the same time because the poor boy has no time to spend much quality time with you. but again, this kind of makes this whole thing sweeter because that means each moment is just that much more precious. obviously, he'd love to be spending quality time with you by going on dates in the park, taking you to a nice restaurant that's not too stuffy, or something even as simple as taking you to the movies. but those things are hard to do, so to him, any time spent with you without the presence of something trying to kill you can be turned into that precious quality time.
for him, it's about sitting on the couch with your legs strewn over him or his head on your lap or yours on his shoulder (really any sort of thing keeping him connected to you) as you pour over lore books. it's about the seamless exchange when the two of you figure out how to kill your monster or save the world together. it's about posing as fbi to get answers and slipping his hand into yours when no one's looking or grabbing a decent breakfast together before the start of a busy day. all he cares about, the things he treasures, are you falling asleep on him in the back of the impala because he gave up shotgun to sit next to you, taking months, maybe longer to get through one season of a tv show together, and always taking even just a small moment out of a busy day to be together.
⟢ complimenting him : it's true that he needs less assurance about his looks because he certainly is aware that he is fine as fuck. but let's definitely establish that he adores to hear praise about his looks specifically from you because duh! he's in love with you and you're the only one he cares about!!
but yeah, when you compliment his personality, his sweet, loving, courageous hot sometimes completely idiotic and frustrating self?? oh he's done for. he's honestly far less used to that. when you're half asleep, and you murmur into his chest that you think he's so smart, kind, funny, loving, and brave and that you couldn't be more proud to be his? he's complete mush in your arms, he can't believe it.
"that's all you, baby," he'll refute, and you'll certainly grow bashful under his compliment, but you want him to accept it, at least a little bit. "i mean it, sammy, i really do." your voice is all soft and sleepy, and oh so earnest that he can't help the aching of his heart. "i know you do," he'll whisper, suddenly emotional and not wanting you to hear it. "i'm just glad you think so. i'll always do my best to be those things for you," and that's the kind of thing he only admits when the sole light in the room comes from a dim, clouded over moon and your head is tucked under his chin so you can't see his face. he means it, of course, but he's not used to such vulnerability and blatant adoration.
he'll clench his jaw when you tell him you know that, but that it's true that he's all those things and more for so many people, the few close ones, and all the ones he passes by and does his best to save. he doesn't fully believe you, he's got a lot of guilt built up in that sweet mind of his. and it's true he's not perfect, but you never said that. all you're trying to tell him is that you love who he is, so much, and he can never thank you enough for that.
bonus, he really really loves when you tell him you think he's funny. it's definitely an ego booster, plus he loves loves loves to know that he can always make you smile and laugh.
⟢ your personal heater : this is literally sooo true. he's so big with so much body mass that he'd have so much body heat to give off. but i so agree that on top of that, he'd also totally be on the warmer side. if you're naturally warm as well, then you two are an unstoppable force in the winter time (the both of you are lulled to sleep by the other's body heat in a matter of minutes). either way, he'll always envelope you in hugs when it gets cold because he knows it'll warm you up right away. he doesn't have to ask to know when you're cold, because you'll always press yourself to him, maybe grabbing his arm and pulling it around yourself before even saying a thing to him.
"you cold?" he'll ask sweetly, and after feeling your nod and hearing your muffled "mhmm," he's quick to wrap his other arm around you too and pull you closer.
for the folks with cold hands like me, he's always trying to warm them up with his own. whether you've slipped your hand in to his just to be near and they're particularly chilly, or he can see you trying to warm your hands up yourself, he's quick to take up both of your hands in his to warm them up. when he grabs up both of your hands, he'll pull them to his chest and hold them there until he's satisfied they're warm. he'll look into your eyes and talk about something completely unrelated, all casual as if he's not making you flustered. other times, he'll warm up one hand at a time, encasing it in both of his own, rubbing it and blowing warm air on it before gently slipping it into his warm, warm pockets and moving on to the other.
also, if he finds out your face is cold, he'll cup your cheeks with his large, furnace hands or full on just pull your face into his head or neck to warm you up that way.
but yeah😭😭 summer can be a lot less pleasant. if you manage to have cold hands even in the summer (i could never i wish), he'll try to steal the coolness from your hands and you'll be like oh my god please stop i'll die LOL.
and you're like nooo babe of course i want to sleep with you, you just have to stay as far away as possible and never touch me because it might burn me to death. if he's tired and touch-starved younger sam will pout at you and tell you he just wants to cuddle. later seasons sam just won't take no for an answer and will just pull you to him until he gets too hot himself lmao. he'll make sure there's a fan on you first and a glass of ice water on your bedside. basically he loves that he's warm in the winter because it brings you closer to him, then gets pissed about it in the summer because you don't want him too close unless there's sufficient a/c or some other form of ventilation to make it cooler lol.
#sam winchester x reader#sam x reader#sam winchester headcanon#sam winchester blurb#sam winchester drabble#sam winchester fanfiction#spn headcanon#sam winchester x gn!reader#supernatural headcanon#supernatural sam winchester#sam winchester fluff#sam winchester#spn sam winchester#supernatural#sam winchester x you#supernatural requests#supernatural fluff#supernatural fanfiction#sam winchester supernatural#supernatural x reader#spn fanfic#. >> asks !#. >> sammy ♥︎ !#. >> spn !#. >> mooties ౨ৎ !#. >> daisy ౨ৎ !
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✦ POLAROIDS: part II | perv!eddie x reader ✦
read part I HERE.
wc: 2.8k+
pairing: perv!eddie munson x (kinda perv)!reader
warnings: 18+ !!smut, smut smut!!, MINORS DNI!! or*l (male receiving), PERV!EDDIE, degrading!! panty-stealing perv!eddie. slight dubcon, dom!eddie, slight mean!dom!eddie, sub!reader, but kind of switch??, p in v, kind of a breeding kink, creampie, very very very brief choking kink if you squint, this is kind of dark so if this kind of stuff bothers u DO NOT READ!! i am not responsible for the media you decide to consume!!! JUST OVERALL FILTH MINORS DNI!!!
summary: you are determined to make eddie's fantasies about you come true.
authors note: i kinda hate the moodboard pics btw but they'll have to do... also idk if i like this a lot but i hope u guys enjoy it :(( and the ending is weird bc i didn't know how to write the ending im stupid okay, ily all thank u sm for the support on the first one hope yall enjoy it mwah xo, em💌
'w-what?' eddie stuttered, he was always confident with you but now he was taken aback, his heart was pounding out of his chest.
and the way you were still standing in front of him with just a towel wrapped around your body was dizzying him, you were getting closer to him and blood was rushing to his cock again, aching to be touched by you.
'oh c'mon, eds. you don't think i'm that gullible, do you?' you hummed, and eddie gulped.
you took a step towards him, he was standing by your bed, and you couldn't help but giggle at his dumbfounded expressions.
'what did you think about?' you asked, innocently.
'i- i don't... i didn't...' he was still a stammering mess, you enjoyed it, but you needed him right where you wanted him.
'oh, c'mon eds, you mean to tell me you weren't thinking about me when you were jerking off? you weren't spilling your load into my panties as you moaned my name?' eddie almost coughed at your nonchalant words, you were being so open that he was about to cum in his pants, he needed to do something, say something, because you were driving him crazy.
'y-yes.' he almost groaned answering you, and you hummed sweetly, pressing your body against his. he lost all control when he felt your boobs pressed against his chest.
'what were you thinking about me?' you asked, looking up at him, all doe-eyed, and eddie's pants tightened from excitement.
'you were- you were on your knees.' his breath almost got caught in his throat.
'like this?' you hummed, going down on your knees, eyes never leaving his as you giggled.
he nodded quick, so quick that his head was about to snap.
'just like that, baby.' he was regaining his confidence as you stood in front of him, your eyes so innocently haunting that all he could think about was how much he wanted to ruin you.
'and what else was i doing?' you asked, your hands were quick to rub him through his pants as he hissed, his tip was still sensitive from when he came minutes ago.
eddie knew you would be the death of him, he realized that the moment he met you, but now it clicked in his head, each time you bent down in front of him, each down you brushed against his already hardened cock, you were doing it on purpose, you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.
and this caused a smirk out of him, he was more demanding when he next spoke, 'your pretty little mouth was wide open for me, begging, pleading for my cock.'
his words caused you to rub your thighs together, you knew how perverted eddie was, and for some twisted reason, this turned you on, made you want to tease him, further and further, till he couldn't stand it anymore.
your hands reached for his pants, to unbuckle him, to feel him, but he slapped them away quickly. 'nuh-uh princess, just keep that pretty little mouth open for me.' he ordered as you nodded, the dynamic between the two of you had shifted so quickly that it gave you a whiplash.
you had thought he would be putty in your hands but he was in control now.
he held your face with one hand while the other one was working to unbuckle his pants, his bulge could be seen through his boxers as your mouth watered, you always assumed eddie was packing, because of how big he felt when you sat on his lap, but now you could finally see it.
when he sprung his cock out from his boxers, your eyes widened. his cock was thick and hard, and his pink aching tip was dripping with his pre-cum, you licked your lips at the sight.
'need to taste you.' you whined.
he fisted your hair with one hand, causing you to look up at him again, the kiss he placed on your lips was sloppy and messy, he was eager, so eager that you could almost feel his cock ache as you started stroking him while he was distracted.
'do you wanna know what i thought about when i fucked my cock into your panties?' he asked, smirking.
you nodded almost groaning while your hand slowly rubbed him. 'i imagined you, on your knees, taking my cock like the good lil' girl you are. begging for me to fill your throat with my warm cum.'
'you want me to ruin you, pretty girl?' he murmured. 'fill you with my hard cock as you plead underneath me, want me to turn you into my little cockslut?'
he slipped his pink tip into your awaiting mouth, slowly gliding himself further until he was buried all the way down your throat.
he lowly groaned as he did so, his head thrown back from the pleasure, finally being able to have you right where he wanted.
finally getting to fill all your holes like he desired.
'f-fuck.' he whined, 'takin' my cock so well, such a good girl.' he praised and you felt your heat get wetter by his words, you needed him, and you needed his cock.
the way your mouth was wrapped around his aching cock was enough to make him want to shoot his cum right down your throat, it didn't matter if he had just spilled his load all over your panties, you were all of his desired wrapped up into one and just by looking at you felt his balls aching, wanting to release.
you blinked up at him, teary-eyed as you tried to take all of his cock in your mouth, you looked fucked out and eddie was enjoying every second of it.
as you finally adjusted to his size, you started licking and sucking, hollowing your cheeks as his tip hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag a bit as eddie's grip on your hair tightened, letting out a moan.
's-shit sweetheart, you do that again and i might cum.' he muttered, 'and as much as i love seeing your mouth filled with my cock, i need to cum inside of you, fill you deep with my warm load.' he mocked as you looked up at him, your eyes glimmering as he said those words.
'look at you doll, so eager to have my cock inside of you, so eager to suck my cock, and you put those polaroids yourself...' he chuckled.
'if i knew you wanted me this fucking badly, i would've taken you a long time ago, sweetheart. would've made you mine, my own personal fucktoy.' he hummed at his own words, excitedly.
your head bobbed up and down as eddie threw his head back, groaning. 'that's it, baby. suck my cock like the good little whore you are.' he almost growled, the vibrations from the way you moaned while his cock was down your throat sent shivers down his spine.
he knew he wouldn't last long if you continued like this, he was barely holding himself from exploding down your throat.
'need you on the bed.' he demanded, you looked up confused. 'now.' he ordered again and you obeyed, getting up quickly as he whined at the empty feeling of your mouth leaving his cock.
'eds...' you murmured. his eyes were trained on you as you teasingly slid down the towel, so excruciatingly slow that eddie was about to roll his eyes, you finally dropped it with a small 'oops' and a giggle as you threw it at him.
eddie's eyes widened in shock, no matter how much in control he was, whatever you did always surprised him, he threw the towel aside as his eyes trained on your body, you felt exposed by the way eddie gazed at you, devouring you almost as he took every detail of your body, engraving it in his mind.
so that he could never, ever forget it. he almost fell on his knees when he got closer to you. 's-shit, pretty girl.' he groaned
'you're gonna be the fuckin' death of me.' he cursed. 'perfect, perfect fuckin' tits, sweetheart, so fuckin' perfect for suckin' and nibbling' his words were slurred now as his hands massaged your breasts, you whined at his touch.
you slowly took of your panties when he did so, holding it out for him when his attention shifted to you.
he grabbed them quickly but he was overstimulated by your body, he groaned again as his gaze shifted towards your pussy, 'can't wait to taste this sweet little cunt, fill it to the brim.' he gave your cunt a tight pinch making you whine.
he guided you toward the bed, plopping next to you as he started rubbing his thumb over your swollen clit, gentle at first before slapping it, a yelp of surprise escaped your lips as you whined.
's'fuckin' whiny for someone who was beggin' for this, hmm?' he hummed mockingly, he stuffed the jizz covered panties in your mouth, muffling your whining.
'taste it, baby, taste my fuckin' cum, i'm going to fill you so deep when we're done, you'll never get it out of you.' you moaned with his words, his still warm cum entered your tastebuds as he sickly watched, his cock ready to release at the sight.
his palm was heavy against your pussy as he slapped it, again and again, not stopping until he was sure you were dripping down your thighs.
you were shaking and you could feel your cunt throbbing, because of eddie.
who gave you pain and pleasure in an equal measure, you needed him and you needed him now.
'such a good girl for me, takin' it all so well.' he hummed as his fingers entered your folds without resistance, 'hmm, all ready for me.' you nod at him, approvingly.
'need you, eds. need you inside of me.' you murmur. he almost mocks you as he chuckles, 'my lil' cock slut, so eager to have me filling all of your holes, don't worry pretty girl, i'll fill all of them and i will make sure they are covered with my cum, always.' he presses a sloppy kiss to your neck.
then he strokes your bare pussy with the head of his cock, dragging it up and down your slit, the angry pink-tip of his cock is leaking with pre-cum while your juices mixes with his, he groans, 'gonna fuckin' ruin you, gonna make you my personal little cum dump.'
his words are filthy, so filthy that you know you are just as sick as him by the way they turn you on.
'ple- please, eds.' you're mumbling now, the way his tip teases your pussy lips is too much for you to handle, you are desperate.
your pleadings don't stop, eddie decides he finally had enough teasing as he slowly pushes the tip of his thick cock inside of you, he doesn't move much, teasing further as he withdraws himself until only the head of his girthy cock was inside of you.
you whine, your begging is getting louder now, and eddie gives you a smirk. 'such a tight fuckin' cunt.' he curses under his breath.
then, without any warning, eddie suddenly slams into you with a merciless thrust. his one hand fists your hair as the other caresses your breasts, as he bottoms out with each downward stroke.
he's so gentle but rough with you that it dizzies you, the way his cock is hitting all the right places causes loud moans out of your swollen lips, your eyes are rolled back as eddie is as loud as you imagined him to be, he is grunting, lowly groaning as he twists his face.
whenever you moan out his name, his pace gets faster, and his skin slaps roughly against yours, then his groans get more animalistic, it makes you want to repeat his name like a mantra.
'you still got that polaroid of yours?' he asks, his thrusts are sloppy now, you nod quickly, 'bedside drawer.' you manage to get out between your moans, and eddie reaches over, smirking as he grabs the polaroid.
'f-fuck, need to fuckin' engrave this memory in my mind, make sure i have it always with me. i always wanna see the way you look s'fucked out beneath me, pleading for my cock, lookin' all pretty as you moan out my name. need to show everyone that you're mine, my pretty girl, my lil' cock slut, my own personal fucktoy, my princess, all fuckin' mine.' his eyes darken when he emphasizes how you are his.
'f-fuck. yes please.' you lowly groan, your eyes are locked with his, 'i'm yours eds, i'm all yours.' you murmur, a smile plastered on your face.
'you agree with me so easily, pretty girl.' he almost chuckles, a grin on his face. 'when i say you'll be mine, i mean it.' his face is serious now.
'it means you're mine. your pretty lil' tits are mine.' he says as he traces his ringed fingers along your nipples, 'that pretty lil' mouth is mine.' his fingers travel up to your lips, and you open your mouth instinctively as you suck on them, the taste of metal and your juice engulfs your senses, you groan at the feeling.
eddie can't help but let out a guttural moan at your actions, he sheats his cock further as he curses, 'this tight lil' cunt, it will be mine, and only mine, princess.' his words are rough.
'd'you understand?' he asks, his voice is serious, you can't help but nod, you are ready to give him all of you, to ruin, to take, to have.
'tell me, tell me who you belong to.' he urges, and his cock is in and out of you so fast and rough as it sends a shiver down your spine, you can barely comprehend anything.
''m yours, eds, i'm all yours.' you let out between your desperate whines, he smiles proudly.
'good girl.' he murmurs, placing a kiss on your nipple, sucking and nibbling. 'my good fuckin' girl. don't fuckin' move.' he orders.
his hand picks up the polaroid camera, positioning it in his face as his other hand has a tight grip on your throat, your eyes are rolled back as eddie's thrust are still fast, he watches himself slip in and out of you with glory.
snap.
you barely notice the flash because of how fucked out you are, eddie smirks as the camera chews out the photo, and he shakes it as he waits for it to develop.
another smirk engulfs on his face as he admires the picture, it's so much better than the ones you took for him.
snap.
another picture, but this time his hand is squeezing your left boob, and he puts both of the pictures aside.
'my pretty girl.' he murmurs as he presses a kiss to your shoulder.
'eddie!' you yelp out, his cock hitting deeper and deeper, stretching you open fully, and you weren't sure if you could handle it anymore.
'need to cum, need to cum.' you moaned, pathetically. 'that's it pretty girl, cum for me.' he urged you to do so, he was close as well.
he reassures and encourages you to cum, he is kissing your neck, and playing with your nipples, you are whining, pleading, begging, it is so desperate, so beautiful to eddie, to have you like this in front of him.
and with the final confirmation from eddie you fall apart beneath him, breaking into a million pieces around his cock.
'gonna fuckin' ruin this cunt, make it mine, fill it with my warm load, just like you wanted, princess.' he has that sick grin again.
'gonna fill you so fuckin' deep that you'll never fuckin' get it out of you.' his words make your cunt ache.
'p-please, eds, want your cum.' you beg, almost. and with your final begging eddie comes inside of you with an animalistic groan, biting into the flesh of your neck.
despite having jerked off minutes ago, he is pumping an impressive amount of his load into you, you can feel his cock throbbing and his balls emptying inside of you.
he collapses on top of you the second he's finished, both of you trying to catch a breath.
once he does, he quickly gets up, making you whine.
'where are you going?' you ask innocently, as if the man in front of you didn't just fuck you into oblivion.
'we-' he corrects you, '-are going to the kitchen, i'm gonna bend you over the counter, and fuck you till all that pretty lil' head of yours will be filled with thoughts about my cock, ruining you, stretching you open.'
'we need more polaroids.' he grins.
❥ all the pretty ppl who wanted to be tagged mwah: @jordanwalkersworld @spenciesprincess @emmalee-01 @dumbslxtclub @tlclick73 @cherrrygirl @upside-down-angel @sebastiansstanswhore
#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#perv!eddie munson#perv!eddie munson x reader#perv!eddie munson imagine#perv!eddie munson smut#eddie munson oneshot
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$$60 billion (part 2) • l.s.m.
How did a legendary bounty promised for turning in the wasteland's most infamous outlaw transform into a sick, little inside betting joke amongst your traveling companions? Though you have no idea why they're doing it… you sure as hell don't want that very same gunslinger comrade worth sixty billion double dollars to know anything about it either — but oops — looks like he already does! Damn you and your temper, some unhelpful lip-loosening alcohol, and one no-good, sorry excuse of a preacher you sometimes think of as a friend.
Pairing: outlaw!lee seokmin x fem!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), trigun!au, action!au, apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic!au, space western!au, slight enemies to comrades to ??? !au, angst, fluff, they're dumbasses your honor 🙏 Warnings: swearing, blood, guns, injuries, medical tingz, destruction, mentions of knives, violence, unsettling space western things, slight body horror and hints at altered dna, weird religious cults, mentions of eating/food, alcohol, threats, bets among friends, tame-ish alien/monster/plant sex (????? listen it'll make sense - think of him like howl's bird form on steroids idk), mating, possessiveness!, marking, bruising, jealousy, smelling/scent kink???, wet messy sex uwu, wing kink (??? listen i was gonna explore it more but decided not to ok??), BITING (bc it's me), mechanical/robotic fingering???, gagging, bulge kink, oral sex (explicit male receiving and brief fem. receiving), seokmin's dick is like SLOPPY TOPPY LORGE w/ a mind of it's own, lowkey forgot how to write smut sorry </3 WC: 13.2k of 32.7k | Part 1 | Read on AO3 A/N: this is for the Now that's 90's - A Seventeen collab and loosely based off/inspired by the Trigun anime/manga! You do not need to know it as I manipulated a whole lot of elements for my own narrative but beware of various spoilers if you do go ahead and check out the series after reading!! I hope everyone enjoys the conclusion and please check out the other writers in this amazing collab ❤���PS, I know nothing abt chess lmaooooo but let me know your thoughts and feel free to ask any questions regarding this au's intricacies!! This part might get a little confusing because of a flashback!! (starts right after the italicized paragraph and ends with "...in this moment...")
The silence is palpable.
"Does it hurt more to get stabbed in the back or shot?"
Only the continual rustling sound answers your philosophical question. Not that you actually care because you weren't really expecting a reply.
So, you keep talking.
"I think it would be more painful to get stabbed… but it would take longer to heal from a gunshot wound."
There's a brief pause in the motions behind you. But the quiet resumes, though the practiced skill of a needle threading through your skin quickens. While the local anesthetics Tonim's doctor supplied is doing its job for the most part, you swear you can still feel the tug of flesh being sewn together.
Or maybe you're just thinking too hard.
"Look. I'm… I'm sorry."
If tension could personify itself right at this moment, it would do so with ease, given how heavy its presence currently sits in the room. A low voice finally speaks up, gravely and roughened after such a long period of silence and the hairs on your neck rise.
"Are you really?"
"… Yes."
A heavy sigh — one burdened with all the worries of the world — follows. You wince and then tremble, wishing you could turn around. It's easy to guess what he's thinking but god, do you wish you could see his face to confirm. The fear of the unknown paralyzes you.
"I seriously am."
"Doubtful. I know you only asked me that question to subtly say you'll be okay and heal just fine but it's not that simple."
The callousness in his tone and the sharp way he says your first name makes you want to shrink down, shrivel up, and quite frankly die on the spot. Gritting your teeth, you succumb to the apparent silent treatment until the snip of scissors signifies your surgeon has finished treating you.
You think twice about your options upon hearing the click-clack of medical supplies being put back into the first aid kit. Then you think, "fuck it!", and use your good arm to keep the fabric of a spare t-shirt pressed against your chest and shift so you can face the man who just rather aggressively threw a handful of unused alcohol prep pads back into their designated slot.
"I'm super duper, utterly, and truly apologetic, Seok."
The gunslinger heaves another grand exhale of irritation. He doesn't even so much as glance at you, frowning sourly down at the roll of gauze in his hands instead. The temptation to reach out and touch him — soothe him — is strong but you decide against that (for various reasons) and resort to huffily pouting instead. Amazingly it seems to work, because he notices right away and folds way too easily without much of your sway, finally facing you with a reluctant but serious expression.
"Then what did you learn?"
Your gaze lowers, eyelashes fluttering while you drown in your feelings of shame and wrack your brain. The urge to toy with the silver chain around your neck is strong though you resist the tick and hesitantly answer instead.
"Um, that I need to fortify my mental block better?"
"Try again."
"Uh…"
"How about the way you're not supposed to play the hero?"
The tin of the trauma kit rattles as Seokmin slams his left hand down on the bed, leaning menacingly toward you. Though narrowed, his eyes seem to glow. You can't help but whimper at the intense ire dancing in those irises paired with his sharp tone. Like the desert's suns, it simmers and radiates off of him with rays of heat that you can easily feel given how close he is.
"I'm, I'm sorry!"
"No, you're not," he states sharply though the rigidness in his body relaxes after your squeak of another apology. "You almost died!"
You'd defiantly cross your arms if you could. "Between the two of us, you were most at risk of dying."
"Was not! And we both know my chances of injury are much, much lower than yours."
"You can't lecture me and flex your stupid powers this time! It's different 'cause Jihooon was fuckin' with my mind."
The harsh bitterness is more so directed at yourself and the damned Crimsonnail than Seokmin. But as usual, you vent all your frustrated emotions out on him, especially whenever he brings up the fragility of your mortality. You both stare stubbornly into each other's eyes, thinking back to what happened and what could've happened.
Lina's protected. The Tonim residents were all immobilized. Seungcheol, Seungkwan, and Mingyu are in good spirits. You are safe.
A burst of air rushes into Seokmin's lungs, relief filling him as he idly scans your figure for injuries. Casually reloading his revolver just in case, he beams as you approach. The mirrored expression of victory on your face accompanied by a hand reaching out causes his whole body to shudder in pleasure. There's nothing he'd like more than to intertwine his fingers with yours.
Instead, he settles for returning your enthusiastic fist bump. Nudging his shoulder against yours, Seokmin chirps out, "Good job, partner!"
"Partner?"
"Yeah, partners."
You shake your head like you can't believe him, amusement tilting up the corners of your lips. He wants to tell you everything, all of it. But his ears catch the faint click of a contraption behind him and he looks over his shoulder just in time to see Jihoon's crossbow assemble.
Joshua looks mightily displeased but makes no effort to put a stop to the Crimsonnail's actions. Seokmin can only thank his lucky stars that Soonyoung remains in a catatonic state. Dealing with a ginormous worm so soon after being in its stomach a couple days ago was not appealing in the slightest.
The fingers of his prosthesis splay out, cybernetic arm lowered and extended outwards in front of you as you turn around as well. He knows you hate unwarranted protection but you'll have to forgive his instincts this time. Nevertheless, he trusts you. And as Jihoon opens fire, Seokmin leaps into action, expecting you to do the same — only to do a double-take when you don't move despite a flurry of nails breaching the air.
Your eyes remain unfocused. Glazed over and cloudy, posture tense but still. He sneaks observatory looks your way from afar while firing Geranium. Round after round, breaking nail after nail to prevent any harm befalling you. A maniacal laughter rings out and Seokmin freezes, putting two and two together.
Then he snarls.
Jihoon must've sicced his killing intent — a nasty ability to project and create illusions of destruction in someone and break their will — on you. Cursing, he starts making his way closer to you, inwardly reaching out to you and begging that you'll break free of the blonde-haired man's clutch on your psyche.
You're obviously more than capable. He knows this. But your movements are sluggish, slowly releasing Sirocco from your grasp. The empty pistol lands on the sand with a muffled thud and Seokmin's pretty sure his heart mimics it. A look of terror and horror spreads across your facial features, surely subject to something awful within the confines of your own mind.
And while you're experiencing visions of things you fear coming true, he's stuck in the vivid reality where they do.
You spin around with a wild look in your eyes — full of rage and anguish. He stumbles back as you teeter one foot at a time toward him and in the distraction, a nail pierces right below your shoulder blade.
Someone wails behind him.
You scream.
Seokmin rushes forward. But he's tackled suddenly to the ground and ends up flat on his back. Completely winded and left with his vision smarting, blinking in confusion at the blurry double halos that definitely shouldn't be around the duo of suns in the sky.
Then your face comes into focus. And god, forget the suns — in all your glory and in all your fierceness, you shine brighter than them all combined — hallucinations be damned.
It takes a bit of wrangling around, given how you try to wrestle and pin the man down. The clunky gun you're waving around goes off several times, harmlessly lodging bullet holes into the sand cushioning around Seokmin's head.
"Stop it, you're gonna hurt yourself!"
Moving and lashing out like a wild animal before it's fully sedated, his words don't come through the hellish haze Jihoon's trapped you in. You pull the trigger with no regard for the injury to your shooting arm.
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
He dutifully counts each round fired, multitasking between that and the effort it takes to contain your struggling movements. Once again, thanks to the overpowered strength of his prosthetic, the man's finally able to sit up with you secured in his arms to cease any further movement.
"Lovely, lovely mayfly," he murmurs. The stable cybernetic hand gently feels around the impaled shoulder while a trembling thumb rubs your abnormally chilled cheek. "C'mon and snap out of it, pretty."
Not a spot of recognition in your blank glare. His eyebrows furrow as cold metal presses in between them. Seungcheol is cursing, Mingyu and Seungkwan are shouting loudly. Jihoon gloats.
But none of that matters. Seokmin drowns all of it out by diving in the pooling depths of your empty irises. Searching, calling, begging. Biting his lip, he delivers a quick slap and pleads, "Come back to me, love."
And like a mist that rises after dawn, you return to him. Your stunned grip on the gun falters, the final bullet rattling in its chambers. The pained expression on your face slices open his own heart but its shredded form takes flight in utter relief.
You're back. You're going to be okay — he'll make sure of it. And even if you don't know it, you're his and he's yours.
"Y-you're dead," you choke out and all he can do is smile despite feeling like he's on the verge of crying. Elation, anger, guilt, hope, longing, worry, joy — all of it turns and tosses within him like a rustling flurry of winged creatures struggling to break free.
So, he smiles at you and grasps the barrel of the old pistol aimed at his forehead. "I know, mayfly."
Jihoon howls in fury. Joshua finally steps forward, striking a military pose with his hands behind his back. Composed as ever, his voice remains its deceptively sweet self compared to the harsh jerking movements he's subjected upon the gray-eyed man via telepathy.
"You've crossed the line, lost number thirteen."
"Don't call me that!"
It's no surprise that the pecking order in Dokyeom's henchmen sowed seeds of dissent. Though Joshua was simply a right-hand man, he remained the only unnumbered member, proving the lack of disposability DK saw in him versus the others.
"Know your place."
"Which has always been at the top! But because of you — !"
" — The top of those already at the bottom, perhaps. Respect your superiors and your orders, Crimsonnail. You were not to lay a hand upon Master Dokyeom's brother. Ever."
"I didn't!"
"Or a member of his little group." His indifferent gaze swept over Seokmin protectively cradling your body. "This voids our involvement and nullifies any further implementations of the game."
Joshua would thank his lucky stars that the humanoid typhoon is letting them leave scotch-free if he was a decent man. Unfortunately, he's not — already considering what punishment to enact upon Jihoon per his master's orders. The Crimsonnail feels a shiver down his spine, further enhanced by Joshua's frosty, disdainful look of disapproval as he telepathically drags Jihoon to the car.
Still, it's a good thing Seokmin's a pacifist by nature, that he's more preoccupied by your well being than anything else. Your brow begins to bead with sweat, the pain of your wound finally sinking in past the adrenaline rush wearing off. Black circles dance in your blurring vision, the gun falling from your grasp as you droop forward and rely on the unerring sureness of his support and the safety within in it.
Seokmin knows he needs to get you medical help right away, and it's the only thing he can focus on. There's no time for exchanging a blow with a blow nor the faintest idea of revenge.
Not yet. Not now. Maybe never if it means putting you in harm's way.
Was he really going to give up following the bloody trail to hold his brother accountable for the unspeakable crimes he's committed? Throw away the blank ticket Rem spoke about? All for one person?
The questions all swirl around in his head like a nebulous mass. And like a newborn star — one that's been long in the making — the answer is crystal clear and shining bright as you sit in front of him now looking devastatingly beautiful to him despite all that's happened. Most importantly, you're safe.
But all he can say in this moment aloud is, "I'm sorry."
For a multitude of reasons. So many of them. You seem to spot something in his eyes, frowning ever so slightly.
"You don't have to apologize for anything. I'm fine."
"I almost lost you."
"But you didn't."
"…I know. And I'm so fuckin' glad."
Seokmin runs his fingers in a distressed manner through dusty, matted strands of reddish-brown strands. Immediately drawing attention to the dirt, grime, and dried blood coating and dulling the cybernetic's buzzing glow.
"That's gonna be a pain in the ass to clean."
He appreciates the subject change, shooting you a lopsided grin. "Yeah, tell me 'bout it."
"Let me help."
You get up before he can protest. A tactical way to coerce him into worrying about helping you rather than arguing. The coy part of yourself is applauding the method, especially when the calloused flesh of his palm splays against the bare skin of your lower back in the name of support as you both walk to the bathroom.
That same part whispers naughty temptations to drop the t-shirt covering your chest, press up against him, and see his reaction. But your reasonable, reserved side is too held up on various other matters to give in.
Sadly, you find out you can't offer as much assistance as you would've liked. But Seokmin seems heartened by just seeing you up and about and close to him. Plus, you make use of your idleness while he washes in the sink by reaching for the few stocked amenities you can reach with your good shoulder above it when he asks for them. And you receive a heartfelt smile in return.
"I probably should've just showered."
You shrug. "You still could."
"Nah, it's fine, I can do it later. What about you, though? You're going to need help with those stitches."
"What a roundabout way to say you want to bathe together, Seok. You could've just asked."
Maybe you expected him to splutter nervously or protest fiercely at the tease. You certainly don't expect him to just shake his head — silver earring flashing in the vanity's dull lighting — and chuckle.
"I'm being serious, goof. Besides, it's not the first time I've seen you in the tub."
"What?" you squawk and his grin doesn't falter. In fact, it turns into a smirk.
"I'll go get Sherry. Lina's gonna want to see you too, she wouldn't stop crying about her pretty savior getting hurt."
You frown. Was he still going to dodge The Talk™? And did he think you were really just going to him out of your clutches that quickly?
"We still need to chat. You promised."
His eyes flash. "… And you don't like promises."
Yes, that was exactly why. He knew your history. Still, you refused to back down.
"No, I don't. But I like you… and, and most of all, I trust you. I just want the truth, Seok. Even if you think it'll hurt me, at least be honest. Trust me back. I promise it'll make it less painful if you tell me why you thought I wasn't serious. So, please…"
Don't let me down.
It's unspoken, but he can clearly hear it in your tone. A battle-worn sigh escapes so you try to lead him and finish with a question where he can give a more straightforward answer.
"… How long have you known? About the bet, I mean."
Despite wavering between semi-alertness and bordering the edge of losing consciousness, you're aware of Sheryl's presence as she bustles around with Seungkwan and Mingyu to clear out an empty room above the saloon temporarily used for patients. Seungcheol waits outside the door with you two, a cigarette loosely dangling from his lips.
When Sheryl leaves, she sneaks a peek at the way your face buries into Seokmin's neck, how the man carefully assesses the rest of your body for injuries. His touch is gentle, the cybernetic arm coated in blood as it holds the nail in you steady. He'd been adamant about being the one — the best one — to treat you. Smiling, she hands Seungcheol a couple of double dollars and the pastor raises an inquiring eyebrow.
"For that little game of yours," the woman whispers knowingly and gestures to the two who just exited the room and Seokmin hurriedly heads inside. "They told me all about it."
You lift your head to glare at Seungcheol and then your other comrades as you pass, wondering if this was some sick form of revenge for pulling one on him and if Sheryl was so keen to set you up with someone in the same way pompously done for her. But your shoulder feels like it's on fire so rather than reprimand your stupid, back-stabbing friends and slump back wearily against Seokmin.
He's a simple man who certainly can't hide a silly smile at the unconventional snuggling. Lifting his chin, he then tilts his head questioningly to the money in Seungcheol's hands. "You're still doing that bet?"
"Haf'ta win the lasses 'n hopeless romantics over 'n have 'em rootin' fer ya."
"Y-you know about the bet?"
Seokmin hushes you with a low murmur, words muffled by the press of his lips to the crown of your head. You can't make out what he says, but the timbre is soothing enough that your eyes close.
"Gotta make that sixty billion somehow if we're not turnin' ya ass in."
"Fair enough!" The wanted man laughs and closes the door with his foot.
His cheerful demeanor then dropped to focus on the proper procedures to treat your wound and that's when the silence settles in, soon followed by the weighing air of unresolved tension between you. And now, you're continuing the determined path to fully speed-run ahead and break it, though he shrugs nonchalantly at the question.
"Known for a while, to be honest."
"Seriously? I thought it was a secret!"
"C'mon, you know how bad Cheol is at keeping them."
"Yeah, right," you roll your eyes. "That man takes things to the grave — literally!"
"You're too hard on him." Seokmin leans toward you, bracing himself with an arm supported by the sink and brown eyes sparkling with humor. "Think about how much you've learned about him."
"Against my will, too much…"
"Which means I'm right."
"… I guess you do make a fair point."
"Of course. He's a completely open book once you peel back that damn protective hardcover of his."
Still, you sniff disdainfully and frown. "I swear, you're the only one who sees him like that."
"Like what?"
"Like…. unafraid, unconcerned, unbothered by all that he is, all that he's done, et cetera."
"Why not? He's done the same for me. Besides, I've said it before but he has those eyes, you know. Kind."
Ah, and that's what gets you to resign with a small grin. It's just like Seokmin to see only the good in people.
"And you're not all that different," he continues with a broad, knowing smile. Immediately you bristle and he clarifies, "from me." Some part of you momentarily wonders if you spoke your thoughts aloud or if he just simply knows them that well. "As loath as you are to admit it, you care for him. Most importantly, you trust him."
Though your face sours at the thought, you don't retort right away. Sure, Seungcheol is a trusted ally. And maybe the motivation to free Jeonghan from the control of the Eye of Joshua wasn't solely because it was simply the right thing to do. But also because it might brighten the dull spark and leave one less bloodstain on the hand of a man who bore the burdensome weight of all sins like a cross on his shoulders.
Then you wave away those thoughts for now. "So, is that why you thought I wasn't serious on how I feel about you. 'Cause of the bet?"
"No, because I never knew the full extent of it. But… if you're saying it had to do with your feelings, then I would have to say yes — though I find it hard to believe any bet's worth my bounty."
"Oh." Your cheeks heat at unwittingly giving it away.
Seokmin smirks when you avoid his gaze, and he moves in even closer. "No one has sixty billion double dollars just lying around, mayfly."
"You're just saying that so no one turns you over to July."
"Well, you won't do it, will you?"
"You don't know that," you fire back, intending to heighten your defenses that only weakly falter because you're still not looking at him.
"But I do."
"Yeah? Prove it!"
Ooh, a challenge.
And one more step closer.
"Because you care too much about the man you like to put him behind bars."
Your eyes dart back to meet his, ready to squint reproachfully only to widen at how the gunslinger's face is only a breadth away from yours. Breath hitching, you desperately want to whine out in irritation but it comes out in a low whimper. Seokmin's canines flash in the bathroom's dim lighting.
"That's not, that's not fair." The wall pressing into your bare back keeps you from retreating and the hand keeping the t-shirt covering your chest feels how your heartbeat speeds up. Your skin is on fire, only the cool temperature of your locket and its chain preventing you from utterly exploding after the plaintive admission of, "You already know everything. But…"
"But…?"
The unconscious action of biting into your lower lip only gets realized by the way it keenly draws Seokmin's eyes. Electric blue flashes against brown irises yet they darken to almost black with the sudden thrill of desire that rises to the surface. He's so close, you can feel his breath caress your face, and you swear you hear it deepen into a low grunt before he raises a brow for you to continue.
"But… b-but I don't know…a single… thing."
Seokmin has forever believed Rem's take regarding the ticket to the future always being blank. For him, it's always been an unknown path forward that he's let lead him wherever and to whatever destination.
He holds himself back, just enough to utter the (practically what should be unneeded) words of reassurance, "It could only ever be you — and it's always been only you — that I could be in love with so much, mayfly," and then he's eliminating the meager distance between the two of you. For the first time, he stamps that blank ticket with an assuredness of the future and outcome he's never had before — with a kiss.
Cradling the back of your head with his cybernetic prosthesis, the other cups your cheek and then trails down to your collarbones — but no further than appropriate. His mouth, though, disregards the very notion. A teasing tongue repeatedly runs across your bottom lip to smooth out the indents caused earlier by your teeth then naughtily pokes and prods its way between, eliciting a sweet gasp from you he absolutely devours.
Your whole body shudders with happiness, eagerly surrendering to the man's wild, possessive fervor as he passionately steals the breath out of your lungs and stakes his claim on you by leaving behind shiny kiss-bitten lips. Seokmin only draws away, panting, to admire his handiwork, light-headed and dizzy with delight.
"I love you," he reconfirms with his forehead resting against yours and nose tickling your own, "… partner."
Breathlessly, you joke back after placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Love you too, partner."
And that was that.
With your shoulder injury on the mend and the other members of your little ragtag group nursing their own bumps and bruises, you all decided to spend one more night in Tonim — much to Lina's delight. While she merrily bounced from one 'hero' to the next, you playfully reminded Wonwoo that he still owed you some free drinks. You were eager to take advantage of the fact and he was more than willing to accommodate.
The tavern that originally held a subdued, slightly hostile air to it when you first arrived was now filled with an unfettered joyous harmony. You're so easily swept up in the ambiance of such high spirits and jubilant townsfolk as mug ales filled to the brim get passed around and clinked together, you fail to notice Seokmin's sudden withdrawn nature.
Not until the next morning do you first realize something's off.
"You're sure about this?"
"Oh, no. Not you too, Seok."
You'd already flipped off and shoved away a complaining, terribly hungover Seungcheol and finally got rid of the watchful, fretting gazes of Seungkwan and Mingyu. The duo had been hovering around you with concern ever since you downed a full glass of alcohol last night. While you generally just let them be and were quite thankful not to wake up with a pounding headache, you certainly weren't above crushing all of Mingyu's pudding cups if he meekly asked one more time if you were okay or needed help.
Seokmin leans against the open door frame as you pack. The pulsating glow of lost technology flickers in your peripheral and keeps you aware of his quiet presence. Part of you had always wondered if the ever-running currents of lighting synced with the flow of blood through the rest of his body.
The gunslinger doesn't speak, and you wonder why. And though you'd like to flatter yourself and entertain the notion that he's watching you — while other times that may be true — you don't feel the weight of his eyes trained on your motions. It wasn't like there was much to stuff in your bag, the satchel's leather cracked, faded, and well-worn after all these years of use through the desert and everything you truly value remains strapped some way to your body. So once you're finished, you inquisitively peek over in his direction.
Brown eyes are trained on the clunky gun on the mattress — the same one you'd pressed against his head. It's also the exact same pistol Chan had spent his adolescence restoring and repairing. Left unnamed unlike the honorary grave Seokmin had helped you prep before leaving the ruins of Ivywood behind. Meanwhile, his gaze darts to linger in contemplation on the chain around your neck before his eyebrows furrow, emphasizing the drawn out features and dark circles beneath his eyes.
"You look tired, you doing okay?"
"Yeah, just haven't been… sleeping well."
Frowning, you step toward him. Although he doesn't back away, his entire posture stiffens. "Will you be able to make the journey?"
He snorts, gesturing to your shoulder you're trying not to move too much. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to be asking you?"
"I'll feel better at the border."
Seokmin nods understandingly. "The weather will align well."
Within the sandstorms that relentlessly swirl near the Melca Border Sea of Sand, hides the only SEEDS floating ship that survived the Great Fall and you have to get the timing just right to reach it. It's home to a large community of humans, and most importantly, it's what you would consider a true home to you and Seokmin. Already, your energy restores — excited at the prospect of getting to relax in a place you trust and people you truly enjoy being around.
"Jun can take a look at my shoulder."
"That's true, it would be good for him to do."
"And I'm sure Hao's going to want to check your arm, maybe fashion some fabric that's not only bulletproof but also nail-proof."
"He's gonna give us both a scolding."
"Wouldn't be the first time."
You share a look of fond chagrin. Even though Seokmin's well over a century older than Juhui and Minghao, they were direct Earth descendants aboard a ship full of lost technology and geniuses in their own right. Those facts alone gave them all the confidence and utter audacity to more often than not, act like fretting toma mothers over the two of you.
Nonetheless, you appreciated them with all that's remaining of your heart.
The trip to the Melca Border wasn't a straight shot from Tonim but it wasn't as far as you thought. A bittersweet farewell to Wonwoo, Lina, Sherry, and the rest of the townsfolk was to be expected. Though their sorrow weighed you down, the knowledge that you were parting from them with good memories and the expectations to visit again kept your steps light-footed.
Seokmin remains zoned out the entire time. You bulk it up to his normal reaction whenever something emotional was on the horizon. Returning to Melca held a grand spread of wonderful, warm memories with a scattering of dreadfully sad ones too. Though the floating ship's defenses have been bolstered to the max over the years, the terrible events weren't easy to forget.
But they were incidents in the past and it's thanks to the intellect of the two who greet you at the entrance of the ship that their defenses continue to improve. Luida proudly stands behind them, accompanied by Brad and his wife.
"Greetings, weary travelers."
"We're no strangers, Luida," Seokmin protests against her formality.
The elderly leader's playful grin smooths out the wrinkles lining her wise face. "Welcome home, children."
It's a simple phrase but one that fills you with inexplicable warmth. Hansol might be the son born of her own body, but no one is immune from her maternal instinct. She beckons for everyone to come inside where the main quarters lie and the growing crew population will certainly be enthusiastic upon hearing about your return.
Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Seungkwan trail after without fuss, also elated to be aboard the familiar floating ship. You smile with genuine delight and step forward to follow while Minghao takes one look over his wire-rimmed glasses to survey Seokmin's dusty figure and elegantly tilts his head knowingly in the hallway leading to the technology laboratory. Glittery, colorful beads woven through the long strands of his two-toned hair clink in time with the movement.
It's hard to hide the snicker that escapes as you watch Seokmin trudge after Minghao like a scolded puppy. Your glee at someone else's suffering doesn't last long when a gentle hand clasps your shoulder. Wincing at the pain, you meet Junhui's puzzled look before his eyes narrow.
"You're hurt," he says, disappointed but not surprised, and leads you away to the med bay. It's exactly what you expected, in fact, the main reason behind why you're here — and yet, you sulk and whine petulantly just because you can.
"Not my fault that the only way to get here is by timing everything right to jump into a sandstorm and then onto a flying platform."
After instructing you to lie down on the medical bed and cutting the fabric of your shirt without fanfare, Junhui clicks his tongue. "You only come to visit when you're hurt."
"Not true!"
He concentrates on disinfecting and resewing the torn stitches in the tender flesh around the parts of your wound that are still healing. His tone borders on slight resentment but the concern weighing in it smoothes it all over.
"And yet most of our time spent together is only when you visit so I can patch you up."
"It's not like that."
"I know… but I would've met you elsewhere."
"Boring."
"Can't you courteously pretend to care about yourself out of consideration for those who worry?"
"You'll go gray at such a very young age if you stress all the time, Jun."
He shakes away silver bangs that threaten to impede his vision, unamused. "And you'll end up buried under the sand next time."
"Sounds cozy."
"I swear —"
You wave his growing ire away. "Seok takes care of me just fine."
"Yes," Junhui's cat-like smile causes your metaphorical hackles to raise. "He does care deeply about you."
"I'll punt you into the fifth moon and give it a second crater with your body."
"Now, now… violence is never the answer."
"Violence is the only reason you have a job!"
If you weren't as close as you were, perhaps he'd be offended by your claim. Instead, he kicks you out (after ensuring you're indeed in relatively good health), leaving you to laugh victoriously. Then, you set off to the technology lab in good spirits, hoping to catch Seokmin and commiserate with him.
Instead, you find a lone Minghao sitting refinedly amongst all the tech with grace and poise. He was in his element. Fiddling with and poking at a well-worn, familiar cybernetic tech with a thin silver instrument, he simply raises an eyebrow to acknowledge your presence.
"Did you fit Seok with a new arm?"
"But of course," the man sighs wearily, "despite my best efforts, my darlings always return home to their father with quite a beating."
"… Then you'll hate what I'm about to tell you."
"No, I cannot fashion you a pierce-proof trench coat. However, I will acquire some stronger material… but there better not be a next time."
You purse your lips and pout. It often seemed like Minghao worried more about his inventions than the people using them, though you knew that to ultimately not be true.
"So, he already told you what happened."
"Oh, yes… he told me everything." Heterochromatic eyes suddenly meet yours, sharp with a spark of amusement. "See, I almost didn't want to give him the latest modification but…"
"But…" You repeat warily.
Junhui was always mischievous, though most of it only ended with harmless pranks. On the other hand, Minghao's sarcasm-filled humor rarely made an appearance, and when it did, it usually delighted in the sickest of satisfactions.
Yet, he simply shrugs, evasive as always. "I think you'll like its improvements."
There's something foreboding about that statement, but he ushers you away under the pretense that he needs to concentrate. And shortly, you find yourself stopped by curious passersby or familiar faces in the hallways to the main quarters. Since your last visit, a multitude of passengers have a lot to share and update you on. By the time you reach your own pod, you're socially exhausted.
Sleep came easy but finding Seokmin did not. The SEEDS ship was already big in the first place and additional construction enlarged it further. An itchy, achy feeling pooled inside your gut on the second evening you'd been unable to catch sight of him. Finally, you acknowledged the bitter truth — he was avoiding you.
You had to come to terms with how delusional it was to think that once everything was out in the open, the scattered puzzle pieces would magically fall together in their rightful places. It should be easy, right? It's what happened in those cheap novels Junhui dug out of an abandoned pod in Melca back in the day. He'd given them to you as a birthday joke — Minghao sighing and handing over your real present (the first bullet-proof trench coat) — but you'd actually read through all the cheesy, steamy piles of romantic drivel.
Seungkwan, ever the cynic, and Seungcheol — who's naturally a heathen — quickly destroyed the slim spark of hope of ever hoping to feel those flutters in your gut. Meanwhile, Mingyu was someone precious and wholesome with a romantic outlook on life underneath the great muscular physique he'd gained from carrying that heavy concussion gun around.
You often wondered why they never tormented him like they did to you. But despite his indomitable stature, the emotionally soft man's tears were the most powerful weapon in his arsenal. Even if he didn't quite realize it, his comrades certainly were aware.
And Seokmin… well, if you knew how Seokmin felt about romance, you wouldn't be stuck in the position of wondering why the fuck he was avoiding you.
Again.
"Where is he?"
"Good morning," Mingyu greets the following morning, cheerful as ever. "If you're still hunting Seokmin for sport, he said he's feelin' a little sick!"
"Sure."
"No, he really is." Seungkwan refutes your aggressive eye roll with a gentle shake of his head. "Loverboy hasn't come out of his room for days and when I almost knocked the door in earlier, he finally responded only to sound like a dying toma."
Your face contorts into a morbid combination of concern and irritation, shifting between the two expressions. "Probably 'cause he stayed out all last night!"
And with a dramatic huff, you glower at the pastor seated in the cramped corner of the floating ship's kitchen area. Seungcheol deemed it was cooler, darker, and the farthest spot in the enclosed space from any of your misplaced wrath. He smiles, the white stick between whiter teeth jollily flicking up and down at you, taunting.
He reveled in the knowledge of being safe since he'd been the only one able to provide any information on the humanoid typhoon's whereabouts. The pastor — who still enjoyed a late-night smoke to cure some of his insomnia — considered it his saving grace to catch sight of the fellow gunslinger slinking through the shadows in the halls. Apparently, Seokmin had been sneaking outside the past few nights and remained resolutely ever-elusive during the day.
"Should go see 'im. Yer all antsy and 'm bettin' he's missin' his… mayfly."
"Oh, go fuck yourself," you snarl and storm out, missing the man's bark of laughter before he continues contemplating the best way to siphon money during a confessional.
The unfaltering stomp of your combat boots is the background beat on your walk to Seokmin's pod. His halls aren't far from the kitchen area and yet each footfall feels like a step into the unknown, the lights above seeming to grow dimmer the closer you get.
Why was he acting like this?
Did he regret everything that happened between you?
Was something wrong?
Would he shut himself away from you?
Worry and anger swirl together, mirroring the vortex of sand you had to pass through to get here. Seokmin's never shut you completely out before but you're familiar with his reclusive acts when things get too much. Too close. Too emotional. And you're afraid to be the catalyst to another spiral.
So, you knock. Harsh, loud, and ultimately unforgiving if ignored.
"Seokmin, open up! I know you're alive!"
A mutter of "Barely," carries through the door before he clearly answers with a curt, "I'm not feeling well but I'll be fine."
"Open the door."
Silence.
"Please."
The silence continues — and your temper flares. "Don't make me go get my bag and grab my lock-picking set!"
You can hear sounds of cursing and some rustling around before the door slowly and reluctantly opens, Seokmin hiding in the shadow it casts.
"As you can see, I'm quite fi —"
Both a coughing jag and the firm push of your shoe interrupts his confident statement. "Sure hope you weren't about to say you're fine!"
A faint smoky scent permeates the pod. You cough and pause to let your vision adjust to the darkness. The first hint toward Seokmin's unusual behavior because he thrived in the sunlight, no matter how weak the sunrays that reached the floating ship were. Then second, you blink in wonderment at the black heaps littering the bed and floor.
Feathers. Everywhere.
Reminiscent of the time you'd broken Seungcheol's ridiculously expensive pillow against Mingyu's bulky bicep during a good-natured fight with Seungkwan's assistance. But instead of an explosion of brown and aqua toma plumage causing you all to sneeze, these were inky dark like the night sky and resembled piles of soot against the pod's stark white backdrop.
You whirl around to find Seokmin retreating to the corner of the room, hands slamming on top of the dresser for support. His back is to you with two thin wings jutting out from it. Feathers rustle as he pants, shoulders coinciding up and down with the motion of the wings.
"Seok, how did… how did this happen?"
It's not fear that causes your voice to tremble but worry. The appearance of his natural Plant form is no longer shocking. In fact, the more you see it, the more you find it eerily beautiful. Probably similar to those who believe them to be messengers of a higher power. But he's only ever transformed in dire situations — either due to stress or the rare exhaustion of his superhuman abilities against stronger foes.
He doesn't reply so you take a cautious step forward. An animalistic growl erupts from his throat, followed by a pained groan. You gasp as he shakes, protrusions rupturing from the lower parts of his shoulder blades. Two more wings burst out and unfurl below the trembling ones already quivering on his back.
So that's how they hide and reappear.
"Is it 'cause you're sick? Choi said you've been staying out all night. You could've caught a cold or something's in the air. Never know what's floating around here." You babble as you frantically search for signs in the mirror above the dresser for any hints to what's caused this.
Seokmin's bent over and you note what should be brunette roots of hair are now pitch-black too. Closer and closer you creep until you can make out each bead of perspiration trickling down his neck and how they coat every bare part of his body in a sheen of sweat.
Then his head snaps up. An eye — unshielded by the black fringe of his red-brown tipped bangs — narrows to glare into your widened ones. A tempest of electric blue rages within it. Like the hottest type of fire, it burns more than you could ever expect in a vortex of one prominent emotion.
Desire.
An involuntary shudder overtakes your whole body, and you unconsciously bite your lip. Seokmin slumps back down, granting respite from that ardent azure glow.
"Sick," he snarls and laughs, strained. "Sick in the head, that's for sure."
"How… how can I help? What can I do for you?"
"Get out."
"Seok —"
"I'm serious, mayfly. For your own good. Leave."
"My own good?"
"I'll, hah, I'll explain… explain it later."
Your arms cross. "Oh, really? Or will you avoid me again? Like you have been for the past several days?"
"I haven't —"
"Don't you dare feign indifference! I'm not stupid — we talk about our feelings and then you retreat. Just be honest with me… please."
You promised.
He sucks in a very deep inhale through clenched teeth, seeming to regret it instantly because his grip on the edge of the dresser is hard enough to crack the strong material. Glowering at your reflection again — not daring to acknowledge your very real and extremely close presence in the room — Seokmin bares his sharpened and widened incisors in a snarl.
"We will talk, mayfly, please believe me. Now's… hah… just not great timing with… with what's happening."
Irritation easily gives way back to worry. "At least tell me what I can do for you. Should I get Jun?"
"He can't do anything. Gotta just… work it out of my system."
"Work what?" You frown, knowing how rare it is for the medical specialist to be stumped.
"It's not for certain…" Four different wings flutter in agitation at various speeds. "Not a lot's known about Plant physiology," his mouth turns downward, "even I don't have a thorough understanding."
"Is it a disease?"
"Wish it was that simple."
"You're talking in riddles and running verbal circles, Seok."
"… Dokyeom and I are independent Plants. Likely the only ones, well, you know — still functioning. Alive. When Rem found us, research was obviously done."
You know the story very well and nod. "And had been conducted before."
"'Course thanks to Rem, it wasn't as invasive but there were, hah, occasional talks. Theories. And then, of course, before us twins, there was…"
"… Tesla."
A Plant with a lifespan of only two-hundred and thirty days.
Seokmin swallows. "Tesla. Yes. I recall bits and pieces. Hypothesized with Luida and company… Outside of Dokyeom following the unethical methods humans sometimes conduct for experimentation," he snorts at the irony, "it's thought that Plants… can copulate… with a mate… of their, hah, choosing."
"Really?" Your eyebrows raise, intrigued. "That's a brilliant discovery!" Then they furrow. "Wait, are you saying that this," you wave your hand to gesture at his current form, "is because… you're, er, ready to… mate?"
He holds his head. "… Yes."
"Oh, okay. So, you need like… relief? A mate? Should I…?"
Your questions hang uncertainly in the air, unfinished because you're really not sure what you're supposed to even offer. A sarcastic smirk graces Seokmin's lips, condescending in the sort of way that's aimed more at himself.
"What kind of man do you think I am, mayfly?"
"A very, uh, Planty one for sure."
"Better than leafy, I suppose."
"Though you are quite… feathery."
Finally, he turns toward you, a wry and defeated smile on his weary face. His wings stretch outward and curl back in, elegantly waving toward you as if drawn in your direction. You can't help but smile at the object hanging from a cord around his neck.
"You still keep that old thing around?"
He looks at the golden cartridge and chuckles. "It's special."
"Me holding a gun to your head was special?""Meeting you will always remain a treasured memory, no matter the manner of how it happened." Seokmin falls quiet, lost in thought before hesitantly asking, "Did I not mention Plants mate for life? Well, at the very least, I know I do."
"Oh." Your astonishment reveals itself in a breathless gasp. There's no escaping that all-consuming, fiery cerulean gaze. "So is this the first time you've been… ready to, uh, mate?"
"No, I'm used to the way these cycles come and go. But this for sure is the worst bout yet."
"… Why?"
You hold your breath. He takes a step forward. Then another.
He's so close, if you leaned the slightest bit forward you'd press up against each other. Somehow, with an overwhelming sense of shyness guessing the underlying thoughts and what his answer will be, your eyes roam his bare upper chest and torso.
If you could caress him you would. All the shiny black feathers adorning his wings and the occasional ones sprouting along his forearms pointing to his Plant abilities. Each scar along with every bit of metal or his body's naturally grown wood that replaces chunks of lost flesh. He's kept them as reminders of when he's failed humans, though you've seen them only as when they've failed him. He shivers, like he can feel it, as if he knows what you're thinking and you questioningly re-meet his burning stare as he shoots you a wane smile.
Sheepishly, he rubs where the cybernetic arm attaches to his shoulder. Many have turned away in disgust or mock pity at the disfigurements. Yet despite the true abomination he looks like right now, there's only ever been pure empathy and acceptance he doesn't deserve — all from you.
"Conscious consent and reciprocation."
Your lips turn upward, joy causing your soul to unwittingly sing. "Does that mean… I'm your mate?"
"No."
It's like Gunsmoke completely collapses, and you're left twirling without footing in space. Seokmin matches your fallen expression with one of his own.
"What? Wh-why?"
"Don't get me wrong, it's —"
"I swear if you say 'It's me, not you'…"
He rather adorably tilts his head. "How did you know?"
"It's a typical cliche," you roll your eyes, "just give it to me straight, Seokmin. Is it 'cause I'm human?"
"… It's not that simple, and this isn't something trivial. It's — hah — it's a huge commitment." The use of your given name indicates his seriousness. "A lifetime one. For me, it's only ever been you… and it will always be you for as long as I live, which could be your whole lifespan! And I don't, hah, I don't know — hell, it's taking everything I can not to tear a dead man apart, let alone what I'd do if you'd change your mind, want something — someone else."
"You're doing it again, projecting and underestimating my feelings for you."
"It could be the effect of my pheromones, mayfly. We don't know every —"
"That's right! We don't know! So we have to trust each other and see."
"It's —"
"Let's not subject ourselves to the hypothetical. And what do you mean by dead man?"
Seokmin's jaw tenses, fingernails digging into numb skin. His wings waver, like they're considering cocooning around him for protection. But their tips simply flutter as if soothed by an unseen force, preventing them from enclosing completely.
Teasingly, you lean toward him and squint. "What else aren't you telling me, Seok? You pick a side hustle up that involves the deceased like Choi?"
He snorts at the audacity and doesn't take the bait. Instead, unfamiliar but still achingly familiar irises dart to your neck, tracing the silver chain laying against your skin. A dull sort of sadness fizzles out those blue fires and you clasp the shape of the locket beneath your shirt in realization.
"He was a boy, Seok. A boy I grew up with for a short period, one that felt like a brother to me."
"… You said you loved him."
"When?"
"… To Cheol. After you first met him."
"That would've been so long ago? How do you even remember that?"
He sighs, heavily. "It's not easy to forget. Your voice was so warm, so gentle, so in love when you admitted it."
"Love can mean different things! And I assure you, my feelings for you differ greatly from how I felt about him. And… he's… he's long gone, Seok."
Guilt burns in his eyes. "I know. Which makes me all the worse."
"No, it doesn't." You shake your head, a resigned smile resting on your lips, and hold your arms out. "'Cause I understand and forgive you. And most importantly, I love you."
It's uncertain if those words break or restore him, but the hard rigidness in his body melts away, sagging in a semblance of relief. Then he rushes forward into your waiting embrace, wings helping to propel him forward until they wrap around and press you to him tight, tickling areas where his arms aren't squeezing around you.
"And I adore you, my lovely mayfly."
You groan. "When will you stop calling me that?"
"Never," he snickers and you feel the curve of his lips as he comfortably nuzzles into the crook of your neck. "For as long as you're mine."
"Yours?"
"Mine."
"Sucker."
A chaste kiss brushes the lower tip of your ear. So ticklish and unexpected, you pull back with a giggle and playfully swat his shoulder. And just as he's about to dive forward and prove your little comment correct in retaliation, you burst into full-on laughter that leaves Seokmin to settle his hands on your waist with confusion crinkling his brow.
"What?"
"So that's why you were always having a deathly staring match between my childhood memorabilia?"
"… Was not."
"You — the most sentimental loser ever — definitely were!"
He pouts momentarily, the cute jut out of his lower lip quickly transforming to a devious smirk. "You'd bet on it?"
"Totally." You place your arms around his neck, bringing your bodies closer again and matching the charge of electricity with a clever tilt of your lips. "I'd win, too."
"And what's on the table?"
"Sixty billion double dollars, of course."
"That so?"
"Mhm, and it seems like someone's bounty matches that worth."
Seokmin quirks a brow. "Seems like you want me on the table."
"Winner takes all?"
"Mayfly, I've always been yours."
"Sap," you laugh again.
A bright grin certainly declares your delight in victory, though your partner in crime uses the distraction as an advantage for his earlier loss and wastes no time. Diving in, a sharpened canine grazes your pulse point, automatically causing your head to tilt to offer easier access. Two left wings sweetly swoop down for support, feathered tips tenderly brushing your forehead.
The heat of his tongue placates the dragging scratch of his fangs. Though it sears you alive, heating your entire body from the tips of your toes, swirling in your core, and concentrating beneath Seokmin's lips on your skin.
When reaching that cold, familiar necklace you treasure so much and he can't help but loathe, it's seized between his teeth before he registers the action. Tugging it away from your neck like a dog, you wonder if he'll even shake it like one. His eyes follow the length of the chain, focusing on where the locket pops out above your chest.
You raise a questioning brow. "You gonna just play with my jewelry or take my clothes off?"
"Oh," Seokmin whispers, jaw dropping, and suddenly stands stiffly at attention.
You watch, entranced by the bob of his Adam's apple as he visibly gulps. Large, calloused hands — so practiced in undressing you for baths and patching up wounds — falter as they skim along your sides in a fleeting touch. Smiling encouragingly, you intertwine your fingers with those of his prosthetic while leading the other one beneath your shirt, the rough flesh of his palm blisteringly hot against your stomach.
"Is this okay? Can it help calm your Plant powers?"
"Yes… but that means… giving yourself to me… forever."
"Can't think of anything I'd enjoy more."
Confident, you trail kisses up his jaw to his cheek, stopping near his ear. Playfully tugging at the earring hoop as you pull away. Then you break away and bend over, shimmying off your shorts in one smooth motion. Stepping out of them, next goes your top. As each fabric hits the floor, Seokmin's eyes become more lidded, heavy with want. Smoldering. Desiring.
Four black wings fan out and stay as rigid as his stance. As if they're waiting with bated breath. And when you finally stand bare before him, he sheepishly drags his gaze to the floor with a flustered smile.
"I'm the one naked and you're embarrassed?" you tease and his posture relaxes.
"Because you're a vision to behold."
"Says the one who looks like an angel."
You back up until your knees hit the side of the bed. Like those morbid tales that depict curious listeners following a luring call to their demise, Seokmin's only a step behind you. He doesn't dare let his eyes stray further from your own, a goofy grin on his face.
"Consider this my fall from grace then, mayfly."
Gingerly, you sit on the edge of the mattress, waiting for his next move. He towers over you in this position. Formidable in appearance yet oh-so-gentle when picking up your left hand to kiss your knuckles and rub his thumb across its faded scar. Another smooch gets placed to your inner wrist and you hold your breath at the passion in those blazing cyan depths that refuse to look away. Then, a cautious touch to your shoulder urges you onto your back. Obediently, you lay down and a bunch of stray loose feathers fly up into the air upon impact.
"Beautiful," he murmurs.
The clothed knee resting between your legs helps his arm support the weight of his body hovering above you. A tentative hand slides down from your shoulder to your hip, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Caressing every scar, memorizing each color and swirl of ink decorating your skin, and erasing any insecurities or blemishes you see in yourself. Cold digits draw whimsical shapes and tickle your abdomen, stopping above your pelvic bone.
"May I?"
"Of course."
Seokmin rejoices in your consent by littering your collarbone with love bites. And his touches move lower, tender despite their mechanical nature. Warmth blossoms and flows under every surface of your skin Seokmin's traced, coiling and settling in a pulsating — almost painful — heat rupturing between your legs.
Only he can be the one to relieve this ache which he precisely aims to do. A simple, single brush across sensitive folds instantly has your breath hitching, shaking beneath him.
"Are you alright?"
"Mhm… yes."
He audibly gulps at your unexpected whimper of ecstasy, reluctantly tearing away from watching amorous bliss overtake your facial expression to the wet heat detected by his pointer finger's sensors. A feral growl rumbles in his chest at the debauched sight of desire beginning to dampen your thighs — the trace of what he's been smelling from you now overloading every single one of his senses as he coaxes more to flow from you. Seokmin's more than thankful for his enhanced vision and the glow of cybernetic technology baring your most intimate parts to him.
Guided by an instinctual impulse, he eases a finger inside. Your back automatically arches off the bed, eliciting a sweet gasp of delight. The cool touch of the digit seized tightly by the pulsating walls of your cunt slowly warms as it adjusts to the welcome intrusion. He soothingly brushes the knuckle of his middle finger across the soft outer flesh of your pussy to relax its grip. Eventually it lets up enough to let him explore further and deeper than your own have ever reached.
"I'm… I'm not sure how best to please you," Seokmin admits, drinking in your every reaction to his curious ministrations. "But there's this urge, this need, to make you feel good. Prep you properly for my… my entry."
By pure accident, he strokes a rough patch of nerves that makes your eyes roll back, hips lifting at the sensation of wanting more of whatever that feeling was, and your quiet noises melt into a loud, needy moan.
"More," you plead, "touch me more, Seok."
He eases his other finger inside without question, grunting at the squeeze that almost prevents him from moving to where you want him the most. But unlike the rest of his quivering body, the prosthesis remains steady, still, and patient. Waiting until it can bully itself and a third finger past your entrance's vice-like clench.
You start pulling on your breasts, trying to alleviate the tingling in them. Seokmin observes with a keen eye and a toothy, fanged grin. After a bit, he leans down to let his tongue trace the underside of one mound, leaving behind a saliva trail shining in the unconventional lighting as he tends to the next. Alternating with playful nips and naughty tugs to your nipples whenever your grip on them falters from the overwhelming pleasure.
So attentive and eager, soon you're writhing beneath him as you hit your peak. One hand grips your hip tightly, surely to leave a bruise with the way it cramps. His other doesn't let up, well-oiled mechanisms continuing to pump in and out of your trembling pussy until you whine from the overstimulation.
His wings fold protectively around both of you like a canopy as you share a tender kiss. Dazed and happy, you tenderly brush back black bangs and play with one of the feathers that's sprouted near the hairline above his ear. He shivers.
"Let me take care of you too."
"Are you sure? What about your shoulder?"
"That's the least of my concerns right now."
"I can still…"
"Later. First, I want to help you."
Suddenly, Seokmin's shy again, flushed cheeks darkening. "I… I think I'm a little different… down there so it's okay if you don't want to… or get scared."
"It's not like I've seen enough dicks to compare whether what you're packing is normal."
The both of you share a goofy laugh that eases the presumed awkwardness. He sits back to unbutton his pants but you stop him.
"May I?"
You might as well have knocked the air out of his lungs. He stares at you wide-eyed and then emphatically nods, finally clearing his throat to squeak out, "Sure."
Ignoring the aftershocks of your earlier orgasm, you sit up and kneel in front of him. Intent on a few minor distractions, your mouth and hands start at his shoulders to work their way down. Imagining you have the power to heal the damage dealt to his body and soul through tender touches.
You see a sad sense of beauty and justice in the patchwork of metal bolts and bark. And as you apply marks of love that bruise and blossom between them, he lets out a content warble. You're quick to undo the button of his pants, both of you gasping at the utterly wet mess seeping through the material when you tug the zipper down with your teeth.
He lifts his hips to help and once he's just as naked as you do you take him in. Anatomy was meagerly touched upon during your days at the convent, so truthfully all you're aware of at the sight of his heavy cock is the need to be filled with it.
And the closest thing to take him is your mouth, jaw already aching before you even open it. Almost reverently, your hands wrap around to stabilize it. Seokmin hisses pleasantly at the contact.
"You don't have to —"
He's cut off by a groan as you inquisitively suckle the tip. The copious amounts of slick smearing from it and down the base taste sweeter than Seungcheol's lollipops and you moan heartily, causing his thighs beneath your elbows to tense at the vibrations.
"Oh, mayfly."
A wing caresses your cheek that bulges as you take more and more of him, Seokmin's hands tearing at the sheets. The tip of another wing tantalizingly drags down your bare back. Your hands begin to explore, finding the puffy edges around the slit from which the thick cock emerges from. His hips jolt upwards at the contact to sensitive tissues, causing you to gag.
"Ah, 'm sorry!"
While he whispers repeated apologies, you're only compelled to take him further. Slowly you get used to the stretch, but no matter how much more you're able to squeeze down your throat there's still enough of his length for both of your hands to play with. It gets easier the more aggressive you get, his cock seeming to respond to your vigor in tandem. Soon you're lost to the haze of whether you're bobbing your head up and down or it's swirling languidly in your mouth on its own accord.
Seokmin's hips stutter but you feel the tremor first pulse against the inner walls of your throat. His cock throbs as you pull off of it, hollowing your cheeks and parting with deliberately powerful suction. A loud pop releases its tip and your hand supports its weighty girth falling forward. You dig the nails of your free hand into the muscle of his quaking thigh, ducking down to teethe at the puffy slit from where his cock must emerge.
Moving on to licking and dragging the point of your tongue along the sizable vein lining the underside causes Seokmin's low groans to turn into a high-pitched trill. Once you reach the swollen, leaking head and nibble on the hard glans, it spasms wildly and finally erupts. From the top slit seeps sweet syrupy fluid that readily overflows into your awaiting, open mouth.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he blabbers.
You'd reply that there's no need for gratitude, perhaps you'd thank him, but the viscous release keeps spilling out. Rivulets trickle well past your lips and coat your chest. Although still in a euphoric daze, his eyes flash with sharp satisfaction. Instantly possessive at the sight of your bare body decorated so erotically.
His wings snap open — filled with purpose — and your face is pressed down into the mattress. Surrounded in a smoky musk as the angelic monstrosity it belongs to and destined to be your mate hovers above.
Your voice comes out hoarse as you raise up onto your elbows and spitefully spit out a black feather. "Do those wings of yours prevent you from being topped or something?"
"I'll let you find out another time, partner," Seokmin huffs, laughter evident despite his apparent breathlessness. He steals a tender kiss, pleased grunting at how your lips — shiny and swollen — taste of him. "But for now…"
Like an anchor, the tech material warmed by your shared body heat and passion winds underneath your hips, keeping them raised. A calloused, ticklish touch roams traces your spine. He draws an occasional spiral here and there as he goes, mindful of your wound, until firmly pinning the nape of your neck to the side, creating the perfect arch of your back.
"I think you'll like this," Seokmin says as if he isn't liking the view below him.
But for you, straight ahead lies the dresser's mirror. It reflects the full manifestation of an independent Plant poised to devour a human in the most intimate sense. The fearsome size of his cock lies heavy on top of your ass, leaking droplets of arousal all over your backside.
"Will it fit?"
"Of course, you are mine to claim and take." His hips just forward and you both moan. "I think we're both wet enough to try."
"I trust you."
"Let me know if it hurts in any way and we'll stop right away, mayfly."
Many troupes of desert-traveling dancers have mesmerized you before. Yet even they can't compare to the graceful and smooth motion of Seokmin releasing your neck to align his tip with the entrance of your cunt and slowly bullying his way in.
Tears of pain mixing to unfathomable pleasure blur the vision of your mouth widening to let out whines and moans. "Seokkie…"
"Mhm, mayfly… my love… my mate."
Finally, the front of his thighs are flush against yours. Hips pressed tight against your ass. Fully sheathed inside your tight hole, neither of you have ever felt such intensity before. He surrenders his body weight on top of yours, hands braced outside of yours clenching loose feathers and silk sheets. The outer heaviness matches the intensity of what your pussy struggles to accommodate.
"Mine."
Seokmin's hips swirl at a slow pace. Rather than thrust, he massages the sensitive glands at the base of his cock with the soft flesh of your ass. His length seems to shrink and grow and writhe with a mind of its own, filling and teasing you nonstop. Leaving no surface of your inner walls untouched or untended to for too long.
"Yours."
You shudder in blissed-out delirium and Seokmin lights up — literally.
Fluorescent lines glow in distinct patterns across skin, brightening the more he starts to pant and build up your shared pleasure. Sharp canines prick into the skin of your unmarked shoulder as he wraps his prosthesis under your stomach to raise your hips, the new position driving you faster to that rapidly approaching edge. You cry out with a lurch, blurrily making out his glowing form that shudders above.
Though the view in the mirror gets hidden by black wings stroking your entire body. Teasing the underside of your tits and tenderly brushing away the stings of his teeth marks.
"I-I love you," Seokmin rasps.
"Love…" You manage to enunciate the words, mind emptying and drool wetting the bed as your second peak approaches. "Love you too."
Pain and pleasure draw forth an onslaught of your apparent arousal that lecherously mixes with the frothy mess dribbling from his cock. Claws appear on Seokmin's right hand, another addition to the bestial Plant features emerging in the throes of passion. He's not completely lost to the primal thrall though, able to resist from breaking skin.
Delicately scratching your waist without drawing blood, then using the finely pointed tips to pluck and tease effortlessly at your clit. You cry out, body shaking as waves of euphoria crash against the shoreline of imminent pleasure.
Seokmin helps ride out your peak with a couple of speedy thrusts. The feeling of his hips slamming into you has you seeing more stars than Gunsmoke's galaxy contains. And just as you're overcome with too much stimulation, he lets go with a particularly strong bite into the top of your shoulder.
His cock softens and its heavy weight like a blanket along with the continual pump of his warm, soothing release. The feeling of it leaving none of your inner walls untouched feels as sweet as it tasted on your tongue and helps ease the ache inside your cunt. Still joined together and slick with stickiness, he collapses onto his side and gently assists you with rolling over so you can face him.
"Hey, you."
"Hello there yourself, lovely mayfly."
Your nose wrinkles but gets smoothed out by feather tips playing with the ends of your hair. Seokmin smiles as you snuggle closer into his chest so two of his wings can cocoon around you as the heated fervor from prior activities cools.
"Did that help?"
"… Yes," he says though his tone wavers with hesitance.
You raise your chin and see the electric blue luster hasn't faded yet from his gaze. Sheepishly, the corner of his mouth raises and you shiver, feeling the swell of his cock stretch out your pussy. The bulge it creates brushes against Seokmin's abdomen and he twitches.
"Sorry, it's… I'm gonna be kinda insatiable now that I've had a taste…" He trails off, wings snapping behind him. Slowly, he pulls his hips away and you both hiss as his cock is dragged out.
"What are you —"
You're cut off by the animalistic glimmer in his gaze, catching the feral smirk that he attempts to hide by licking his palm. Quick as lightning, Seokmin fleetingly swipes the outer lips of your cunt and brings his fingers, tonguing at them. Body set aflame again, neither of your break eye contact as he moans headily.
"But not of this," he rasps.
Before you know it, you're staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on his ceiling with your mate between your legs. His wings trail along your calves, their flexible ends curling near your inner thighs, encouraging them to spread and stay open, pinning them in place.
"Oh, aren't you a beauty?"
He moans shamelessly at the sight of your messy, glistening pussy. You squirm at the ticklish sensation of his feathers and that smoldering, ravenous look. If only he knew what it was like to see him devour you with his mouth.
Delicious.
Just like the feeling of his tongue working its way inside and licking up the shared essence of your releases.
Your fingers weave between strands of hair as black as night, tugging lightly and accidentally snagging one of his ear feathers. He moans eagerly, and the vibration has you shuddering, already quickly nearing another mind-shattering orgasm. But you don't let him carry you there too fast, smooth brain muscles trying to form a question.
"How… long… how long do these cycles last?"
Seokmin presses a loving kiss to your twitching clit and blows, entranced by how you clench around nothing. Then he smirks, elongated teeth shining in the darkness like a predatory warning though you have nothing to fear.
"As much as you can handle but… we're really only just getting started, mayfly."
The motion light kicks on as Seungcheol shifts his boots in the direction of the unlit kitchen area. Junhui and Minghao's entrance awaken the rest of the lights and they frown at the makeshift bunker set up.
"What are you three doing in here?"
Seungkwan sleepily mumbles a curse word and next to him, Mingyu blearily rubs his eyes. A scattering of empty pudding cups and bottles lie around them as well as a disorganized array of poker cards.
"We're afraid to venture out of here."
Junhui shares a secretive look with his closest friend at Seungkwan's cryptic words. "Ah, so that's happened. Or happening."
"'Bout time y'all came 'round. Time for ya to pay up!"
"Pay up for what?"
"Compensation. 'M the one who got the closest to bein' right knowin' they'd fuck after confessin'."
"If anyone needs compensation, it's me for the mental damage of having to make one of my lovelies into an enhanced sex toy."
Seungcheol guffaws. "Ya didn't! Ya lil cheatin', schemin' scientist!"
Meanwhile, Mingyu looks mighty concerned. "Does that mean Seokmin has a dildo for an arm?!"
Minghao crosses his arms with a steely glare. "No."
"Oh good. I don't think I could look at him the same."
"I don't think any of us will ever look at him the same again."
Junhui eagerly rocks back and forth on his heels, hands stuffed in the deep pockets of his lab coat. "Do you think they discovered all the functions and benefits of it yet?"
"Should be our next bettin' round."
"No more bets. I don't care if it's half a double dollar to go in, I refuse to go through this again."
Mingyu elbows his raven-haired companion. "C'mon, your heart's warmed by this!"
"Warmed and consumed by the rage and fury of hellfire, yes."
Giggling, the tall man smiles widely and holds his hand out. "Alright, I win then!"
"Win what? Thought you didn't remember your bet."
Mingyu purses his lips. "Only because none of you took me seriously and joked with a bunch of gross innuendos when I said they'd find their home in one another!" He then sighs dreamily. "But if I'm right, we'll know by tomorrow morning."
"Who says it'll be tomorrow mornin'. Might take weeks. Months even, I reckon'."
"I'll kick you all out before it comes to that," Minghao threatens and runs a hand through the few strands of hair without a bead. He tosses a wad of money in front of Mingyu. "Never involve me in this again."
Despite all the grumbling, everyone has a sense of lightness in their hearts at the thought of their dear friends finally getting together. And the happiest of them all is Mingyu, who cheerily gathers his prized double dollars, dreaming of all the pudding he can buy.
A lone figure stands on the edge of the valley of the Melca Border. The Sea of Sand, aptly named, can change tide and turn vicious at any second. Their cloak billows in the sandy winds that whip around them, though even the steadfast hood can't hide the satisfied smile on their face.
"You did well," they commend and the name that falls from their lips is one some might consider lost to the sands of time.
"Saintess." Another figure materializes out of the sand gusts in response to the praise. "It is to be done as you said."
"Very well. Shall we go now?"
Whether it's the mysterious sands that swirl around and whisk them away or the lost technology cube that transports them, no one will ever know for no one ever saw them. Like ghosts, they disappear and find themselves outside the real ghost town — where it all began.
A toma croaks in the distance. Brave travelers dare cross the ruined wasteland and the saintess meditating atop one of the largest rocks hidden in the shadows opens her gray eyes tinted by lilac in the glow of the moons to observe. Despite all of her traveling, the white robes wrapped around her body remain in pristine condition.
She turns behind to look at the man standing over a scattering of stones, staring intently at one of them. With poise and purpose, she dusts off her clothes and strides over to him.
"Chan."
Brown eyes tear away from his own name carved into the headstone in front of him to look at the one who's said it aloud.
"Yes, Saintess?"
"Do you regret it?"
"No. Never."
"Good," she states, satisfied with his response. With a grand sweep of her hood to cover short, dark hair, she gestures to the east. "We will set up camp one more night before returning to the Saint in the morning before he speaks with our Master."
Chan mutely nods, following the saintess back into the desert where she confidently leads him to a cave that will shield them from the unpredictable nature of Gunsmoke's wastelands. He thinks of you, the girl he must keep safe and two brothers. One with wings as pure white despite his continual revelry with hate-filled darkness, the other bearing ones the complete opposite color of his twin — a wild card.
He reminisces over the Blessed and Holy Sisterhood of Little Ivywood, the convent and all the orphans that lived there. Pondering Sister Meryl's role, who stands before him now as the revered Saintess, leader for the Eye of Joshua and second only to the Bishop of the cult named after himself. She moves curious little statues back and forth across the surface of a large flat rock and the young man can't help but ask her a question in the unnerving silence.
"Do you think this will work?"
Meryl smiles elusively, as always. She picks up the smallest one with a deliberate flourish, placing it on a blackened space close to the last row of alternating squares carved into the stone's surface.
"Have you ever played chess before?"
"No, what is it?"
"An Earthern board game. It is quite complicated." Gesturing to the piece she just moved, she continues. "This is a pawn, the weakest of all chess pieces."
Chan bristles. "But strength comes in numbers, no? There are eight of each color, surely the right side can find a way to win."
Unfazed by his agitation, the saintess nods placatingly. "With the right strategy, even a pawn may become a queen — the most powerful. Unpredictable." She points to a white figurine with a cross on top of it. "Enough to checkmate a king."
Entranced, Chan watches as she rearranges and repositions various pieces across the faux chessboard. Soon, the pawn that took on the mantle of a Black Queen captures the White King. His eyes roam what's left on the battlefield at the end of the match, pointing to one that looks like a tower.
"What's that one?"
"A rook. It best supports an allied pawn towards promotion from behind the scenes." Her eyes sparkle mischievously. "It's most powerful during the end of the game, as you can see."
Chan gulps, holding his breath for a moment, and clears his throat. "Then I'm ready."
"Wonderful," Meryl nods, "we'll depart for Master Dokyeom's stronghold in the morning. I'm sure Joshua, our dear Saint, will be… pleased upon our return."
"To the glory of the Black King's rise."
"And to the glory of our so-called queen."
Keep him safe, Chan thinks to himself as he settles on the ground. And yourself. One day we'll reunite in the most joyous of occasions…
He pulls out a faded wanted poster with the infamous outlaw worth sixty billion double dollars, donning a wishful smile before closing his eyes and murmuring, "I'd even bet this impossible amount on it."
onlyseokmins: April 2024 ©
#ez.creates#svthub#svt.smut#dokyeom smut#dk smut#seokmin smut#lee seokmin smut#svt smut#seventeen smut#kpop smut#trigun au#svt au#seventeen au
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NSFW Alphabet | Gaon/Kwak Jiseok
Gaon/Kwak Jiseok | WC: 1.8k Genre: smut Summary: nsfw alphabet game thing Warnings: this is just. PURE filth. I'm sorry. (No im not). NOT proofread, just straight up rambles. BRIEF mentions of degrading... I think that's it.. lemme know if I missed something! A/N: X is excluded bc i will Not be writing about him in that kind of detail <3 Thank u anonie for requesting this one toooo <3 The rest will come soon, I promise! Also... funny how my tumblr is Mostly jiseok content when i'm joo/seumi biased... LOL i'm having a lot of fun tho so it's all good <3
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Sweet hyper boy finally relaxes. He’d absolutely collapse next to you and breathe heavily, little chuckles leaving his lips while he pushed his hair away from his face. He is SO the type to reach out for you and just pat whatever he touches first, as long as it’s you - be it your still-shaking thigh, your stomach, hell, even your face, just so he could give you praise while you both caught your breath.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I don’t know if I’d call it his favourite per se, but he loves using his lips for sure. Dragging them up and down your body slowly, teasingly, leaving small kisses and hickeys on your body - some where other people could see like your collarbone and others where only he could see, like your inner thighs… and don’t even get me started on the fact he would love seeing your wetness coating his lips after he ate you out…
On his partner… legs in general. Being able to grip your thighs whenever he wanted, rub his hands up and down your legs, knowing he could push them open whenever he wanted… yeah
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
In your mouth 99% of the time. The other 1% would be if he was feeling a little more needy and wanted to come on your face, but most of the time, he loves holding your head down on him, feeling himself twitch in your mouth before letting go with a shaky groan. He doesn’t have a preference on if you spit or swallow, at the end of the day he wants you to be comfortable, but the times you do swallow and clean up the remaining mess on his cock would always leave him shuddering with pleasure and admiration.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He LOVES keeping dirty polaroids with him. Maybe not in his wallet where anyone could see, but for sure with him at all times, either of the both of you together or just you… it’s a nice reminder for him of what’s waiting at home.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He’s experienced at a very basic level, for sure. He knows what he likes, but he isn’t an encyclopedia of how to make his partner come just yet… he’d need a little guidance, but the smallest bit of reassurance and help and he’d be a master at it after a few minutes.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Cowgirl and reverse cowgirl for sure. It’s not that he doesn’t want to put in the work, because he absolutely likes taking control, but he likes being able to grab you and watch you feel good; he loves watching you hold onto his shoulders or knees and ride him, swirling your hips and whining.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He’s serious but he’s fun. You couldn’t role play with him because he’d end up giggling and taking himself out of it, but he doesn’t see sex as something funny, if that makes sense. He always has both of your pleasure in mind, but that wouldn’t stop him from biting at you, spanking you playfully and making it a fun experience.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Say it with me, I keep it short and simple! He’ll shave it all off and keep it trimmed for a week before he just let’s it go again - an infinite cycle.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s intimate but he’s not serious, you know? He loves being with you and feeling you, but he’s not about to make it a grand romantic gesture every single time. That doesn’t mean he won’t ever make it romantic, but he likes to keep you on your toes. In more ways than one, if you catch my drift…
J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)
He’s part of the population that thinks that if you jack off with your left hand, it feels like someone else is doing it… and while there’s no telling if that’s totally true, the fact that he always jacks off thinking about your hand moving up and down his cock or how tight you feel around him when he fucks you gets him there every time, regardless of what hand he uses.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
On par with the polaroid thing - exhibitionism - BUT!! Not in the traditinoal sense. He would never take photos or videos on either of your phones (can’t trust technology, honestly), but that wouldn’t stop him from taking polaroids of you or using a video camera to film the two of you, getting a rush from putting on a show, even if its just for the two of you to see again at a later date together.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Home! But in “dangerous” places. What I mean is like, right next to the window where no one could see you unless they were really looking, but the idea that it could happen is such a rush for the both of you. Or even just with the windows open, that risk of being heard drives him wild.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Don’t confuse this with a marking kink, but knowing that you’re his and knowing that you trusted him enough to be at his mercy whenever he asked gets him so hard, it’s insane. He’d never push if you were clearly not in the mood, but if you were reciprocating, he’d immediately take control, reminding you that you belong to him.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
He’s someone who also gives vanilla… so no extreme kinks. Honestly, I can’t even see him exploring “tame” kinks… the farthest he’d go would be anal.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Since he loves coming in your mouth, he’s absolutely more of a receiver, but he’d never turn down the chance to lay between your legs and let you make a mess all over his face, his tongue skillfully flicking, his lips suctioning on you, vibrating with the hums of his moans.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
You know… rough and slow and/or fast and sensual, depending on the situation. He’d absolutely slowly pull almost all the way out before slamming his hips back into yours, making you shudder with desire and need, and there are other times where he’d pull you against his chest and slam into you, his lips messily kissing and sucking on your neck and jawline, small reminders of “mine, all mine” being whispered in your ear.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He’d be down for a quickie for sure, but he’d still make enough time for aftercare, for the both of you. Both because he enjoyed being cleaned up by you, but also praising you and reminding you that you did so good and made him feel so good. So… I think the quickest a quickie would be for him would be the time it takes for him to come from just you sucking him off, noting that he would absolutely return the favor the next time.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
See above, with the window thing. I think he’d never put the two of you in real danger of being caught, but the risk of being heard through a door or a wall is something he will absolutely risk in a heartbeat.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Unfortunately, he is a one and done guy, but it’s not for lack of trying. You just make him come so hard the first time that he’s spent! I do think he would be down for a bit of edging every now and then, where he’d let you take some of the control where you’d bring him right to the edge then take your mouth away from him with a little pop, watching him writhe and beg for you to be good and let him come in your mouth.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Now!!! I personally think he would have quite a bit of fun with butt plugs. Not in himself, but for his partner. Having a small collection of them, some with heart shaped gems on the ends, some just solid silver, maybe a stray tail here or there… he’d love to watch you wear one around the house for a while wearing a skirt with nothing underneath, asking you to pick up something he’d “conveniently” drop so he could peek at the plug in you.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He teases, but not in a typical way. It’s always subtle, be it teasing remarks about how good your body looks in what you’re wearing, how he could tell you were needy by the way you rutted against his thigh when you were in his lap… little bites on your neck to remind you he could fuck you senseless if he wanted to.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s not a screamer but he’s not quiet, at all. The best way to put it is that the two of you could absolutely be heard through a wall if someone was really listening, but not loud enough to make out distinct words.
W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)
UMM Let’s talk about degradation :) I think :) he would be into that. But like… not badly, you know? Something gives me the vibe that he would like calling you dumb - but NEVER stupid, dabbling in some other things like calling you a slut :) that’s all :)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He is so the kind of guy to get a boner at the smallest thing, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to drop to his knees and beg for you. If you’re not around or not feeling it, he can think it off, but on the rare occasions he can’t, well… that’s what those photos and videos are for!
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Within the hour for sure, but not immediately! He’d doze in and out for a bit, waking up to help you clean yourselves off, falling asleep after laying down in a too-comfy way, waking up again to get dressed and help you get dressed if you wanted to (he’d never protest naked cuddles, of course), and once it was truly all over and you were both cuddled up together, he’d be out. If there were things to do later in the day… good luck, because you’d have to be the one to wake him.
#xdh imagines#xdinary heroes fanfic#xdinary heroes imagines#xh fanfiction#puppyluvfics#xdinary heroes#xdinary heroes smut#gaon x reader#kwak jiseok#gaon smut#kwak jiseok x reader#kwak jiseok smut#xh smut
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Tanner in an interview getting asked about a rumor his gf is pregnant and him deflecting the question bc it's true but they aren't ready yet to tell
(Unedited) (Pregnant Reader)
“So there has been a very big rumor going around as of lately, I assume you have already heard about it going around?”
“I already know what your going to ask.” Tanner laughed as he sat up him his chair. They had been in this interview for almost a whole hour now. He was itching to just get up and leave.
“So, are the rumors true that you and your long-time girlfriend, Reader, might be expecting?” the reporter asked. They guys face was lit up as he asked the question.
Tanner gave a small shrug while saying “Well I believe a while ago both me and Reader actually gave a statement about kids.” the reporter seemed to sit on edge as he went on “We both would love to possibly have them one day. The both of us have discussed it quite a lot. Before and after we started our relationship.” his tone was filled with happiness. It was true that the couple talked about kids a lot in their time together. Both of them wanting to raise a family together.
The reporter raised a brow “So you confirm that you and Reader are pregnant now?” the reporter seemed on edge. The way he seemed to almost sit on the very edge of his seat was telling.
The recent surge of rumors that the young star couple where pregnant was flying around every social media platform. It took off the minute Reader was spotted at a baby store in LA. She was photographed by a passerby coming out of the shop with a large bag of unidentified items. The photos also captured her placing the the bag in her car before driving off. She was dressed in a very plain outfit of just a long baggy shirt and yoga pants.
Most fans were separating the possible pregnancy after the couple had taken a week-long vacation not long after the pictures were taken. Taking themselves out of the limelight for a brief moment and stepping away from the public.
Super fans were pulling up cancelation sheets of upcoming movies that Reader had supposedly been cast for but now her name was no longer on. New movie releases were scrubbing her name from feature boards. Already editing her name off of movies that were set to start filing in the following months.
It didn't hell the rumors that Reader had yet to make a public appearance after those pictures were leaked online.
“All I can really say is that we have talked about it before. The rumors are just that, rumors going around because my girlfriend went to a kid's store. I mean we have a lot of friends and family a lot of them have kids. She might have just been picking up a gift for one of them. You know how Reader loves giving gifts.” he laughed.
“So you can't say if it's true or not?” the reporter was starting to get more pissy with Tanner. His voice growing higher as he tried to dig more at the situation. Clearly trying to get a big scoop from this low-level interview.
Tanner was able to see right through his little game.
The interview was thankful cut short when Tanner's phone rang and the timer on their meeting went off seconds later. The guy who had been interviewing him looked totally defeated. With Tanner keeping tightlipped on the topic he didn't get much out of him. There would be no big scoop for his company.
Walking off he picked up the call, smiling he answered “Hey babe how are you doing? Better than earlier I hope?” a small hum was heard on the other side of the phone.
Reader rolled around on their bed for a moment before turning over. She shoved a pillow under her head as she went back to her phone. She sighed “I'm doing a little better…” she paused for a moment and looked down at herself. She knew she wasn't showing just yet, maybe if you looked hard enough you could see the smallest bump forming under the chubbiness of her belly. Running a hand over her belly she smiled “My stomach still feels all funky but that's to be expected I guess.” she giggled a little.
Tanner gabe a small smile as he walked.
“Did they pester you about those stupid pictures?”
“A little but it was nothing I couldn't handle so don't worry about it too much.”
Reader chewed in her lip a little, the trip to the baby store was a split second decision on her part.
“I know I shouldn't have gone out like that. I should have just ordered something online and had it delivered.”
“Babe no, you wanted to go out and do something special to tell me about-” he looked around for a second. Making sure there was no one around to overhear their conversation. “The baby and I wouldn't change that for anything. It was super sweet and such a surprise, I loved it.” a small laugh was heard on the other end making him grin.
“How about I bring you some ginger ale to try and help with the morning sickness?” Tanner said as he finally reached his car in the parking lot. As he unlocked it he heard a small sigh from Reader.
“I would love that actually oh and if you could pick up a big pretzel? The big soft ones?” he could practically hear the longing in her voice.
“I'll pick up two just in case, I'll see you in a little it. Love you.”
“I love you too Tanner, see you when you get back.”
#cobra kai#cobra kai blog#cobra kai ask blog#tanner buchanan x reader#tanner buchanan#tanner buchanan x chubby reader#pregnant reader#pregnant!reader#chubby reader#hot celebs#celebs#celebrities#celebrity x reader
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Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 8
from here on out this series is just going to be Lockwood and reader bonding and being annoyingly good together while coming up with steadily more ridiculous ways to piss off the bitchy cousin bc she's trying to get revenge
with that said lockwood does have a brief sad moment :(
Word count: 7.1k
Warnings: swearing, references to sex (both mild and slightly less mild), sleepy lockwood, he can't talk properly when sleepy, the whole morning thing is just what I want to happen in my own life tbh, Steph (the Bitch), lockwood remembers his childhood (might make you sad), brief mentions of murder?? hypothetical murder though (that will make sense I promise), a really intense snowball fight, (can you tell I'm an archaeology student from the way I describe building forts and mud huts?), lockwood gives all the teams in the snowball fight names and they are very basic but I love them
That night when Y/n and Anthony went to bed, they stood staring awkwardly at the bed for five minutes.
"Well that armchair can't be comfortable," Y/n said, glancing sceptically at it. She wasn't sure where Anthony had slept the night before after their argument, or even if he'd slept at all, but she didn't feel right about taking the whole bed for herself anymore now that their situation had changed.
She would do it if he insisted, of course, but there would be a very tiny part of her brain telling her to be the better person. It was unlikely that she'd listen to it.
"I got used to it, and I've slept in worse places. You take the bed again. The bath surely couldn't have been nice to sleep in."
"It was actually a lot more comfortable than you'd think." They kept on looking at the bed, both in their pyjamas (Y/n had stolen one of Anthony's t-shirts already, and when she'd first walked out of the bathroom in it he'd kissed her for a good few minutes in a way that left them both breathless). "Maybe... maybe we could share? I don't know if that's too soon or anything but honestly if we've been supposedly dating since April then I think we're way past that."
"If you're happy with it then I am, darling."
"Alright. I'm having this side though." A couple of minutes later the two of them were under the covers and settled in, and Y/n reached over to turn off her bedside lamp. The room was immediately shrouded in darkness, and suddenly it felt a lot colder than before, despite the fact she was buried under the duvet. "Ant?"
"Yeah?"
"... Can I move a bit closer to you? I'm cold." She didn't get a verbal response, instead receiving the sounds of the sheets crumpling and a body shifting, and a few seconds later Anthony's warmth was surrounding her as he took her into his arms and laid her on top of him. She tangled their legs together and wrapped an arm around his torso, and he brought both of his arms around her to secure her in place.
"Is that better?" he asked, and from where her head was resting on his chest she nodded.
"Much better. Thank you."
Her breathing evened out not long after, and she fell asleep to the slightly faster than usual beating of Anthony's heart.
~~~
When morning came (or rather when the sun finally rose over the horizon, since it was just after 8 AM), Y/n woke up and tried to turn over to stretch, but found that her movements were restricted by a weight on her side.
An investigation of what was happening lead to the discovery that Anthony was now lying on top of her instead of the other way around like they had been when they went to sleep, and that was why she couldn't turn over. She went to shift him off of her, but as she went to move him she caught a glimpse of his face and realised that he looked so peaceful asleep she might just let him stay that way. He barely got enough sleep as it was, so why cut it short when he was finally getting some rest? God knew he needed it with how hard he worked to keep the company going, although that had been much easier in the past year as they had gained more popularity among the people of England (their name had been spread far and wide by happy clients).
He wasn't entirely on top of her, more lying on his stomach next to her while he rested his head on her shoulder and spread his arm out over her middle, but the weight was enough that movement was restricted. A light knock sounded from the door, making Y/n look away from her new boyfriend's face to see who it was. For some reason fear gripped her as the handle turned, but when the door opened a few seconds later to reveal her father she let out a sigh of relief. She had been worried that Stephanie was starting her research into how she was going to get her revenge already, but Y/n's cousin was almost certainly still asleep at this hour.
"Just got some tea," he whispered after Y/n put her finger to her lips, pointing down at the still-sleeping Anthony. "Where should I put it? Just here? Alright, there you go. I think we're all just going to lie in bed for as long as we think we can get away with, so don't worry about coming downstairs yet if you don't want to."
"Thanks, Dad." He crept back out the room, wincing slightly when the door hinges protested as he pulled it shut, and then he was padding down the hallway back to his own room. Soft sounds from just below her head made Y/n look down at Anthony, who had apparently been woken by the door closing. He rubbed at his eyes, blinking furiously as he attempted to properly shake himself awake, and pushed himself up a little to sleepily smile down at her.
"Morning, darling," he murmured, dropping his head to press a small kiss to her lips. "D'ya sleep alright?"
"Mmhm. Did you?" Anthony only nodded in response, eyes drifting shut every few seconds as he tried to stay conscious long enough to hold a conversation with her.
"You can go back to sleep if you want, although Dad just brought tea in if you want it."
"Ooh, that would be brilliant. D'ya want me to pour it?" Y/n stifled a giggle at his slightly slurred speech, and starting to move into a sitting position.
"Don't worry, Ant. I've got it." She poured out the water, making sure to add the honey and sugar to his at the right times, then carefully handed over the mug. "Have you got a proper hold on it? Because if you spill tea in bed then I might have to kill you."
"I can't spill tea? But how else are you meant to know that George and Flo have definitely fuc-" he was cut off when Y/n hurriedly reached out to steady his mug, the liquid inside nearly sloshing over the edge as he had been leaning in in a conspiratorial manner, forgetting he was holding a large cup of steaming hot liquid in one hand.
"Anthony! Watch what you're doing!"
"Sorry," he said, faint blush coming on to his cheeks as she scolded him. "Was jus' trying to make a joke. Although what I said about Flo and George wasn't a joke." He made a point to look her in the eyes with as much seriousness he could muster, as though it were of the utmost importance that she knew all about her colleague's sex life.
"Alright, thank you for that," she responded, making sure her tone was gentle, and when he smiled dopily she felt her heart skip a beat or two.
How the hell is he so pretty?
"You're pretty too, darling." His smile had turned smug, and she realised with a start that she'd said her previous thought out loud. Her face started heating up, and Anthony did a good job of hiding his laughter were it not for the amusement dancing in his eyes as he sipped his tea.
"Shut up," she mumbled, wanting to jab him in the side but not trusting his capabilities of holding his tea steady this early in the morning.
~~~
"Good morning, lovebirds!" Will chirped when Y/n and Anthony walked into the kitchen, and he sent a smirk their way from where he stood at the hob frying eggs. "Sleep alright?" He seemed to be asking something else though from the way his eyebrows were moving.
"Is... he okay?" he whispered instead, leaning down slightly to reach Y/n's ear.
"I talked to him in the library yesterday. After... you know."
"Ah. Right." After they had argued and then made up and then made out. "Does that mean he's up to date then?"
"Yep."
So Will knew about all of that. This could be interesting.
"They must have slept fine," Ben started, pulling out the toast that had popped and putting in more slices. "Y/n looked like she'd only just woken up when I went in with tea, and Anthony was fast asleep."
Anthony felt a blush rise up his neck and cover his face at the realisation that Ben had seen him draped over his eldest daughter, but the fond smile that appeared on Y/n's face made it worthwhile. She was wearing one of his jumpers again (she had really leaned into the habits of being his girlfriend already, which meant that many of his t-shirts and jumpers were suspiciously not in the drawers he had originally put them in), and was cosying up to his side as he leaned back against the kitchen island.
Y/n looked like she was about to say something, but at the exact moment she opened her mouth another voice was already filling the room.
"Morning everybody! How are we all today? Isn't the snow just gorgeous?"
Emma grimaced slightly before she turned around, sharing a glance with Anthony before greeting her niece. "It is, Stephanie. I take it you slept alright?"
"Oh yes, thank you!" She was weirdly chipper for somebody who had been acting like a raving lunatic the night before, and Anthony couldn't help but feel unease creep up his spine at her wide grin.
What was she up to?
"Hello, you two! Are you looking forward to going out in the snow later? I shall have to drag you out, Y/n/n, since you hate going outside!" Anthony frowned. Y/n wasn't the biggest fan of the outdoors, but whenever they gained even the slightest amount of snow she was out of the house in a flash, laughing and spinning around the street while it fell. Anthony had always accompanied her, giving the excuse that he wanted to be nearby if she tripped and fell so he could laugh (to which Lucy, George, and Holly had looked at him dubiously).
But really it was because it had been so long since he had seen anyone so carefree.
He had loved the snow as a little kid, running around trying to catch the snowflakes on his tongue, building snowmen, making snow angels, having snowball fights with his family.
Then he had been on his own, and suddenly the snow was no longer a source of warmth for him. He had looked at the roads paved in white and felt as cold as the outside air, good memories being brought up and tainted the longer he stared at it.
He could see where he had set up a fort in defence against his father and sister's attack, crouching behind the wall with his mother while they laughed so hard their sides hurt.
He could see where the four of them had laid down in the thick snow, spreading out their arms and legs and sweeping them back and forth, back and forth. Jess had deliberately laid down close to him so they could hit each other playfully.
He could see where he and Jess had made their snowman (although they called it a snow ghost), carefully picking through the undergrowth to find the perfect stones that were just right for the features.
He could see all of that when he saw snow, and eventually he had stopped looking.
But then Y/n had come along, bright and burning, and when she had experienced her first snowfall at 35 Portland Row she had shrieked with joy. Within moments she had shrugged on her thick coat and boots, hat haphazardly shoved on her head and gloves neglected as she shot out the front door, and the other members of the agency were left behind to wonder what on earth was happening.
The other three were quick to follow, leaving Lockwood inside to watch from behind the glass barrier, and for the first time in years he looked outside and saw the snow.
He also saw Y/n fall on her ass incredibly dramatically, and immediately good memories were being created again.
It took him another year to actually go outside in the snow again, and by this point he was deeply entrenched in the hating game that he had with Y/n that he used his excuse of wanting to see her fall over.
He didn't admit to himself for a while that the real reason he was in the cold with her was to make sure that she didn't fall over too hard, or get knocked over by a car that hadn't realised anyone would be on the road (really, why couldn't she have gone in the back garden?), or even because being outside when she was this happy was making him forget that he couldn't feel various parts of his body due to the biting air.
So hearing Steph say that she was going to have to drag Y/n, the girl who loved snow, outside into the snow, didn't make sense to Anthony. He glanced at Y/n where she was stood at his side and realised that she had told her family she didn't enjoy the snow, because there was nothing on her face that said she was confused like he was.
He really hoped they could leave this place soon, because while Y/n's parents and siblings were wonderful, her aunt (who had been sat in the corner sneering at the couple) and her cousin were not. The constant remarks about Y/n's body, how she acted, how she ate, her job, her life, what she enjoyed doing and what she didn't, it can't have been healthy for her to grow up with those comments, and apparently Y/n had been lying to them about herself to get some of it to stop. Anthony suddenly felt even more awful for the things that he had said over the years, and he dropped his head to meet the top of Y/n's to press a kiss there. She looked up in surprise, a question on her face, and he only shook his head and laced their hands together.
He wasn't going to hurt her again, not now that he had a chance with her. And if anyone else hurt her? Well, he would just have to ask which one of them was picking up the shovel, and who was taking the body bag.
~~~
After breakfast everybody wrapped up as warmly as they could and headed out into the snow. It really was insane how much snow they had had, given it was England and they were unused to the sort of snow they saw described in other parts of the world. Anthony had grabbed Y/n's hand after Stephanie tried to get there first, and when she had tried again to be the one accompanying Y/n outside he pulled her out the front door where John and Sam had started clearing a path.
"Ant, slow down! You're gonna pull my arm out of its socket!"
"You'll be fine. I'll give you CPR."
"Ant, you can't give me CPR to fix my arm not being attached to my body anymore."
"Oh. Well I might as well do it anyway, just in case it does help." He was tugged backwards when Y/n came to a stop behind him, and turning around he realised they had travelled quite far from the house.
"Anthony."
"Yes, my darling?"
"Do you just want to give me CPR because it gives you an excuse to kiss me?" He tried not to blush too hard at how quickly she had figured out his ulterior motive, but recovered just as fast with a smug smile.
"I don't need an excuse, darling. I just need to know you consent." She pushed forward, hand still linked with his, and planted a kiss on his mouth.
"Unless I physically assault you, Anthony, then consider me always consenting to you kissing me."
"Perfect."
He kissed her again, trying not to smile too much since it stopped them from kissing more, and wrapped both arms around her waist. She was smiling too, her cold nose pressing into his, and she let out a joyful shriek when he suddenly bent slightly and picked her up off the ground, twirling her while not ever taking his lips off of hers. When he finally put her down again he sighed in content, resting his forehead against hers and just revelling in the knowledge that they had worked through it all, and he was happy.
Then a snowball hit them square in the face, and he was spluttering while Y/n looked for the source.
"That's enough kissing, love birds! You can do that later!"
"Will." Y/n's eyes narrowed and the smile on her face was downright wolfish, and Anthony desperately hoped that she considered him a team mate or he was going to get pulverised.
"Darling, can I just ask, is it the two of us against your brother?"
"It's the two of us against them all, Ant." He knew she meant all of her family, but he couldn't help but think that she meant that it was the two of them together against the world, too. "Oh! You've never had a snowball fight with us before, have you? Basically instead of a kill-or-be-killed scenario, we combine it with capture the flag. Nana Jean has a collection of items that she gives each team, and you have two hours to build a fort and any defences you want. Then when Nana Jean says go, you've gotta get all the items in your fort, and then get all the way to Nana Jean on the front porch. It's very important that you get all the items in the fort first, because otherwise you get accused of cheating and get disqualified. Ultimately, though, nobody can trust anybody, but everyone always tries to get Steph and Linda because nobody likes them."
"So... if we can't trust anyone...?" He left the rest of his question in the air, but luckily she knew what he meant.
"Don't worry, I'll pair with you. Normally I'm with Olivia, 'cause we're meant to be in pairs, but my brothers never care about that rule. Mum'll throw at anyone, and so will Dad, my grandparents are on the porch watching from their chairs, so they'll get some good photos I imagine, Olivia is far too busy trying to look good all the time, and we need to duck!" She grabbed the front of his coat and yanked him towards the ground just as a large chunk of snow sailed through the air where their heads had just been. "Right. We need to start making some sort of defence, which shouldn't be too difficult because of how much snow there is, and then we need to start making weapons, because Nana Jean has obviously just started the timer for two hours building. Sabotage is also allowed during this time." It was both terrifying and weirdly attractive how quickly she was getting into the spirit of an all-out snow war, and within seconds Anthony found himself being put to work building walls.
He had done a similar thing with his family.
London never really had that much snow on the ground at any one time because of all the people and cars that needed to move around, and since agents still had to go out at night the roads and pathways were mostly clear to prevent any unnecessary deaths or accidents. One year, though, there had been too much snow for people to shift enough of it in one day ready for the night, and weather officials had said that temperatures would be rising anyway and the snow would melt in a couple of days. Anthony's parents had woken him early (back when he slept without an issue) and pointed out his window at the snow, and he had been so excited he had gone and jumped on Jess' bed, not caring when she swatted at him with a pillow. The four of them had then spent the day building forts in the back garden and getting their defences ready, and he and his mother had tried planning their walls strategically for the best possible advantage.
"You can't just put it all on top like that, you need to build it a bit like an igloo, or a mud hut. And make sure you've got the proper dense snow, not this superficial flaky stuff. Add some sticks and rocks and things for a bit of integrity, and pack the snow around it. That's it!"
His parents had taken fort building seriously, no matter what the material they were using was. Pillow forts were always complex too, but when finished Anthony had a castle to be king of.
"What are you doing?" Y/n asked, pulling him out of his memories. He'd been crouched down behind a bench that was in their front garden, clumping bits of undergrowth together and starting to build up the walls.
"You need to add sticks and rocks and things for integrity," he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
"Oh. That makes sense I guess. Can you-" she stopped herself for a moment to hurl a hastily made snowball at someone, and Anthony made a mental note to get her to teach George how to throw when he heard a yelp from somewhere in the garden and a cheer from Y/n. "Sorry, needed to get John. Can you like, show me what you're doing? Then we can both do it and get these walls up faster. I really think it's unfair that Will, John and Sam always team up because they all play fucking rugby, so their walls are basically done already."
"True, but we fight ghosts, darling. We know better than anyone how to win a fight, because if we lose, we quite literally die. Here, take some of this," he said, placing some of the stones he had found in her outstretched hands. "Stack them up a little bit, like I've done, yeah, that's good. Then take a whole load of snow and pack it around. It makes it a lot stronger."
"Where did you even learn how to do this? You literally never join in when we have snowball fights back home." His hands slipped when he realised that she had called Portland Row home, but he quickly recovered.
"My mother."
"Oh. Ant, I'm-"
"Don't. Don't say you're sorry. It's... it's nice, actually. Remembering her. Sad, because she's gone, but nice." He could feel Y/n watching him and he cleared his throat. "I don't know if you were in London when we had that last big snowstorm, but there was about this much of it. My parents took me and Jess outside all day and we built forts in the back garden, and then had a snowball fight. It was me and Mum against Jess and Dad. We won, of course. Mum had a really good throwing arm and Jess was complaining about the cold." He smiled at the memory of his sister's squeals when he had snuck up behind her and stuck snow down the back of her coat, running away with a gleeful laugh. An idea struck him then, and he sat up a little. "I've just had a brilliant idea on how we can piss off Steph," he said, and Y/n mirrored the shark-like smile he had on his face.
~~~
Around an hour later, pretty much everybody's forts were complete.
Will, John and Sam had taken Tom into their team (to which Y/n had complained further, since it was meant to be a pairs team situation) and their fort was huge, with walls that took up an entire corner of the garden. Steph and Linda had a pathetic looking fort since neither of them wanted cold hands or to touch the snow, but it was good enough to provide a small amount of protection for now. Emma and Ben's fort was surprisingly decent, and they had added a little turret on one side just for fun.
Then there was Anthony and Y/n's.
"What is that meant to be?" Sam shouted at them, his tone mocking. Taunts were always called out at this stage, Y/n had told Anthony, since everybody had made their defences and weapons and now they were just waiting on Nana Jean to say when they could start. "It looks like a mud hut!" John yelled, clearly thinking that they would be an easy target.
"Good," Anthony muttered, smile decorating his face. "Mud huts are weirdly strong if you build them right."
"You are so random," Y/n said, but she was looking at him with stars in her eyes. "George I would have expected this kind of knowledge, but you? Never would have guessed you knew this much about mud huts."
"My parents studied them, Y/n/n. Of course I know this much about mud huts."
"So random," she whispered under her breath, looking back out at the playing field. Each of the four teams had taken a corner (Olivia had chosen to side with her parents after they threatened to take away her tv privileges if she didn't join in), and Anthony and Y/n were in the opposite corner to The Brothers Grim (he had named them that in his head). The Bitches (Steph and Linda) were on their right, and The In-Laws (Emma, Ben, and Olivia) were on their left. That meant that they, The Love Birds, were most likely going to get attacked last. Everybody was going to be aiming for The Brothers Grim or The Bitches, since they were the strongest team and the most horrible team respectively, and Anthony and Y/n had come up with a plan.
"Are the names really necessary though?"
"What do you mean?!" He did his best to look appalled. "Of course the names are necessary, darling! How else are we meant to quickly and effectively communicate which fort we're going for?!"
"You're ridiculous, Anthony Lockwood."
"We've covered this already, Y/n L/n. I'm very aware of how ridiculous I am."
"I mean, what kind of person pretends they're a whale when drinking orange juice?"
"Yeah, but that only works if you have the orange juice with the bits in it, because then you can filter it through your teeth and-" She had cut him off with a kiss again, and while he had been in the middle of a very important explanation, he didn't mind that this was how he was being cut off. "You really need to stop interrupting me like that, darling," he said after she pulled back, but he didn't mean it. She knew that he didn't mean it either, because she was smiling softly up at him in the brief silence that they had before the fight started.
"Go over the plan one more time?" she asked.
"Sure."
~~~
Nana Jean had taken her place on the front steps, wrapped up in about ten blankets as she sat on her chair next to Gramps.
Y/n was tense, a pit of nerves forming in her stomach as she crouched next to Anthony. Their plan was supposedly foolproof, but they only had her knowledge of previous snowball fights with her family to discern what the other teams would try and do, and they could always have new tactics. The one thing they could rely on, however, was everybody attacking Steph and Linda first.
Each team had been randomly allocated an item from Nana Jean's collection, and had placed it in their fort. Their job then was to protect it at all costs, and not let it reach any of the other forts. Once in a fort, provided the thief didn't have all four items, they could be taken back along with any other items in the fort.
The Brothers Grim seemed to have the advantage, what with their huge walls and numbers, but Anthony and Y/n had spent most of their lives fighting far more threatening opponents in far more dire situations, and so this would be a breeze. With her knowledge of how her family fought (extremely dirty) and Anthony's weird knack for planning intricate extractions of items, they were sure to win.
They would even end up with time to spare to get under Steph's skin.
"Ready?" Nana Jean called out, receiving multiple affirmations in reply. "Three!"
Anthony shifted beside her, and she got ready to move.
"Two!"
The pit of nerves was filled to the brim, spilling over and making her limbs shake.
"One!"
Anthony's face was set in determination, and his eyes were flicking over the playing field as he waited. She was sure that she was doing the same.
"GO!"
Immediately action brought the front garden to life, with people running everywhere and snowballs flying to and fro, mostly missing but occasionally finding their marks. Anthony had already shot off while Y/n stayed behind with their item: Nana Jean's scarf that was too old and tattered for her to actually be kept warm by it anymore. She knew that Will would try and sneak around the back, and John would be left at their fort since he had the best aim and strongest throw. Sam would be the decoy, and Tom was just running around hitting everyone. Steph and Linda were getting annihilated, crouching down and shrieking loudly when snowballs from all directions took the top of their fort walls off. They had used the soft flaky snow instead of the proper solid stuff, and as such their fort wasn't much protection. That's what Anthony had said, anyway, and she decided that he knew what he was talking about. Y/n spotted her mother attempting to creep up behind her, and she chucked a snowball right at her face. It missed, hitting her shoulder instead, but it was enough of a threat that her mother backed off for now.
Anthony had disappeared somehow, and while she searched for a while she couldn't spot his skinny beanpole frame anywhere. That was probably a good thing, she thought, because if she couldn't find him, then their first target definitely couldn't.
Olivia made for Y/n then, battle cry piercing the air, but before Y/n could even take aim her sister was taken down by someone else's snowball, quickly followed by a "YES! HA HA!" that told her it was Tom. She looked through the gap in the bench that Anthony had left while building their fort, and saw her youngest brother doing a victory lap of the field, getting hit by snowballs but carrying on anyway.
"Got it," Anthony said, making her jump and nearly hit him. "Woah! It's me!"
She did hit him then, hissing her response. "You scared the shit out of me!"
"Sorry, darling, sorry. Got it though!" He smiled triumphantly, looking very proud of himself as he lifted up the woollen hat that had been the item belonging to The Brothers Grim.
"Excellent!" She planted a kiss on his frozen lips and he grinned even more widely as he put the hat down. "Did they see you?"
"Nope. I told you earlier, I'm like a ghost myself." He had said something to that effect earlier on, but she hadn't really been paying much attention because she was too busy thinking how gorgeous he was when he got excited. He was like a puppy, and she could practically see his tail wagging while he looked at her with those brown eyes.
"Yeah, you certainly look like one right now," she snorted. "I'm pretty sure you're the same colour as the snow."
"Oi, my ghostly complexion is going to win us this thing, alright? Anyway, it's your turn to go out. Here." He handed her the large rock that they had found, and kissed her on the cheek. "Go get 'em," he winked, and then she was off, leaving him to guard their fort while she made for her parents.
Unfortunately they saw her coming immediately, but purely because Tom was still running around like a headless chicken and had screamed "Y/N'S COMING! Y/N'S COMING!"
"Dammit, Tom," she muttered, frown on her face. She had hidden the rock in her coat pocket since it was the right size (She and Anthony had made sure they would fit properly), but she still had to get the large gloves from their fort. The stone didn't matter now, because they had seen her, so all she needed to do was snatch their item and get back without being brought down. Luckily the gloves were tied together, which meant she only needed to grab one and she could be off again. Her parents were already tiring, she could tell, but years of being an agent and building up the stamina needed to run away from Visitors all night meant that Y/n was only just getting started. She dodged the snowballs that were thrown her way, and slid behind The In-Laws' walls, taking part of it with her. "I'll take those, thanks!" she said, picking up the gloves and immediately running off again, trying to ignore the snow she could feel melting down her spine. "Here," she huffed when she got back to her own fort, nearly knocking Anthony over.
"Oh, perfect! You alright to stay here while I get the last one? Or did you wanna pause for a moment? I don't think The Brothers Grim have noticed their item is missing yet, but your parents are definitely going to start making their move on us soon."
"Just gimme a moment to catch my breath, and I'll be good to go." She had collapsed into his side, clutching her stomach and trying to control her breathing, and he wrapped his arms around her briefly.
"As much as I would love to stay like this all day, darling, I do also need to throw snow at your family because they're coming this way."
"Oh, yeah. Go for it," she replied, sitting up again. Anthony picked up a snowball in each hand and chucked them over their walls, and although Y/n couldn't see who it was she did hear an "oof!" a few seconds later. "I've still got the rock from The In-Laws attempt in my pocket, so I can go and get The Bitches' item if you wanna keep throwing? You're better at it than me 'cause I can only use one arm. The other one is shit at throwing."
"You sure?" he asked, picking up another snowball. She nodded. "Alright. You know what you're doing, yeah?"
"Yep. I'll see you in five, Schmoopie."
"Why are you calling me Schmoopie? That's my name for you!" he called after her, playful frown on his face. Her only response was laughter, which she quickly stifled as she hid behind the thick oak tree closest to Steph and Linda's fort. Their item was a snowshoe, although where Nana Jean had even found one of those was a mystery. The rock she had in her pocket wasn't really big enough, but if she covered it in a bit of snow then it would be good enough to fool them. Anthony's intricate extraction plan for getting all the items had been to use decoys after sneaking up on each fort, and so far their first target, The Brothers Grim, hadn't even noticed. They were too busy fighting off Olivia, who had turned slightly feral over the course of the fight, and Tom, who had apparently decided that no team was better than the team he had created for himself, and was throwing snow at everyone including himself. Y/n crept forward slightly to assess how long she had before either her cousin or her aunt turned around, but then snow started hitting their nearly-destroyed fort again and she knew that Anthony was working on the distraction for her. Tom started attacking Steph and Linda again too, and while her Dad had joined Olivia in attempting to break down the walls of The Brothers Grim's fort, their attack was weakening.
She needed to move fast.
Y/n made her move then, bending down to grab some snow in one hand, and readying the rock in her other, and headed in the direction of Steph and Linda's backs. They were too busy trying to remake their walls, which meant they had left their snowshoe unguarded behind them. She dropped the rock in the snow, then picked up the snowshoe, and in the next five seconds had shoved the snow in her other hand down the back of Steph's jacket and sprinted away. Her cousin's screams followed her the short distance back to her fort, and Anthony didn't need to ask how it had gone when he heard them. "All four items, safe and sound. Now we've just got to get to Nana Jean without them getting taken off us."
That was the hardest part, since Nana Jean was sat on the front porch nearly completely opposite them. They would have to cross the entire playing field and pass The Brothers Grim fort to get to her.
"Alright. You take these. You can't put them in your pockets, which is annoying, but otherwise we'll be disqualified for cheating. You ready?" she asked Anthony after loading his arms with the items. He nodded, fiery determination in his eyes.
"I'm ready. Remember the weak spots in their walls, yeah?"
"Yep." She had memorised the points that Anthony had pointed out to her earlier, and thanked his parents for showing him how to build excellent forts.
"Okay. Three, two, one, go!" They stood up from behind their walls and started running, Anthony's long legs carrying him across the field while Y/n periodically stooped to grab more snow and compact it into a good enough shape that she could throw it far. He nearly made it, and then Will appeared out of nowhere to take him down. Anthony twirled out the way (always the fancy one), and Will missed catching him by a hair's breadth, but now there was more of a distance between Anthony and Nana Jean.
"THEY'RE GONNA WIN!!!" Tom shouted, and suddenly all of Y/n's family members were closing in on her and Anthony with snowballs in their hands.
"RUN!" she screamed, begging her legs to respond. They were slightly numb from the cold now.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?!"
Nana Jean had her arms outstretched from where she sat on the porch, and Y/n was momentarily blinded by the flash of her Gramps' camera just inside the window. She threw what snow she could at both people and forts, picking out the points where Anthony had said were weakest and aiming, and sure enough within moments part of The Brothers Grim's fort had collapsed, and the brothers themselves were crying out in anger.
Time passed slowly and in a blur, and before she knew it Anthony was up the steps and shoving the items into Nana Jean's arms and collapsing at her feet, then letting out a small cry of pain when Y/n landed on top of him. "Did we do it?" she asked, expression wild as she tried to catch her breath. Anthony didn't say anything, his face not revealing anything.
Then he cracked a smile, and it was like the sun had come out. "We did it!"
"You did it, love," Nana Jean said from above them, looking fondly down at her granddaughter where she was lying on the floor.
Y/n immediately pushed herself up (that made Anthony make another "oof" since she had braced her full weight on his chest) and turned around, pointing at all her gathered family members who were stood looking sorry for themselves (apart from Tom, he was still running around and throwing himself in the snow) and shouting "HA! WE WIN, SUCKERS!"
~~~
"Thanks," Y/n said, gladly accepting the mug of tea that Anthony handed her. He smiled down at her, one of those soft secret smiles that he kept for the people he loved, and sat next to her on their loveseat.
She wasn't sure when she'd started calling it their loveseat, but that was what it was, she supposed. Nobody else sat on it apart from them, and now they were cosying up like they always did. She had slung her legs over his and made sure not to spill her tea while he adjusted.
"That's nice and warm," he said, holding it under his face to heat up his frozen features. Y/n hummed her agreement, sipping on her own tea.
Everyone was snacking on random bits of food from the still-extensive collection (despite how much had been eaten at the party), and Anthony had brought over a bowl of bits for the two of them to share. Despite the slight chill that still sat in her bones, she was warm, and as she watched Anthony converse with her Gramps she realised that it was him making her warm.
Not his body heat, although he was surprisingly warm for somebody who had been running around in the snow all day, but rather the feelings he was stirring up in her. He made her feel warm just by interacting with her family, just by allowing her Gramps to tell him jokes that the rest of them had all heard a million times, just by even being here with her. He hadn't needed to come with her, and in fact he had argued against it and compromised, saying if she couldn't find anyone then he would do it and be unhappy, and yet he had done it anyway with a smile on his face. She'd genuinely believed that he wouldn't come with her, or would go back on his word because he thought it would be funny to watch her suffer.
But he was here, cuddled up on a loveseat with her in her family's house, talking to her Gramps about trains or something (she suspected it was more her Gramps was talking at Anthony), and he was hers.
Steph hadn't stopped watching them like a hawk since the snowball fight, but Y/n couldn't find it in her to care because she was with Anthony, and they had achieved a sliver of revenge themselves earlier. Her cousin was rightfully pissed about having a bunch of snow chucked down her back, but then again she had spent her whole life making Y/n miserable so really she deserved it.
He was her home, she realised. Not this house, not even Portland Row, despite the fact that she regularly called it that. No, neither of those places were her home.
Anthony Lockwood was.
part 9
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#lockwood and co#anthony lockwood#anthony lockwood x reader#lockwood & co#anthony lockwood x you#lockwood x reader#deck the halls (and not your partner)#enemies to lovers#fake dating#christmas
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MK1 - BI HAN X READER ~ REUNION ~
an: ok hi guys lowkey i havent written fanfiction in years so this is my brief return. so feral for bi-han bro got me writing again
anyways please enjoy this story that i cooked up at work instead of doing what i get paid to do 🔥i got really sloppy at the end because this fic ended up being MUCHH longer than what i intended and i lowkey lose the plot bc it was supposed to be much more different
also if you guys have requests send them in i might do them i might not so dont expect too much
ps+ i'm not chinese so if i mischaracterized something pls let me know!! i'm the wrong type of asian to be writing this lmfao
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you returned to the lin kuei outpost hoisted on the shoulders of the neighboring rocky mountains. it was a heavy winter yet, but a meager layer of snow had curtained everything all the same. your breath was heavy as you sighed and looked at the exterior of the stronghold, smoke spilling from your mouth. it had been years since you had been back here, practicing with the lin kuei as only a young woman. you were never an initiate, but your father was a powerful man who had been good friends with the former grandmaster of the lin kuei and wanted to assist them by having you help them out. after a couple of months of training and bonding with all the other lin kuei initiates (as well as the grandmaster's sons), you had left to pursue your responsibilities. you had been burdened with far too many tasks to just remain in one place -- it pained you but you knew you had to leave to do what was required of you. not one for goodbyes (and the fact that if you had to confront the brothers about your departure, you probably would've ended up staying...), you disappeared into the midst of the dark night.
after all with great power comes......
the gates to the stronghold opened and you entered inside. it was difficult being back. how would you approach the brothers? would they still be upset at you for leaving? surely not, considering they let you back in. but what if this is a trap, a ploy to set up a mediation to get you to explain where you were all these years? thousands of thoughts swirled inside your mind but it didn't matter now. you were inside the courtyard now, watching as initiates sparred and practiced with one another. you could begin to feel the influx of raw magical energy as you walked by, prompting you to take a deep breath in and walk with your head held higher. you opened the gates to the interior to see tomas and kuai liang speaking with some of the younger initiates. kuai had his hands crossed behind his back, his eyes stern as ever as he commanded some of the younger warriors to try out a new training exercise. tomas had a small smile on his face, his arms crossed in front of his chest. they didn't notice your arrival and so you quietly walked up to them, with hands behind your back and a shy smile across your face.
tomas was the first to notice you, and his face immediately burst into a smile. "(name)!" he yelled out, excited like a puppy being adopted by an owner for the first time ever. you were originally going to keep this visit somber, but you couldn't help to keep the smile off your face. suddenly a huge urge to hug him overcomes you, and you spread your arms around the nape of his neck, pulling him in. he pats your back, exclaiming:
"i didn't realize you were going to be here so soon!"
you pull away from him, giving him a big smile. "sorry it took me so long. had a lot of stuff to get to." that smile on your face does not betray your intentions. it's the truth--you really did have a lot to get to. procrastinating and putting off the visit for as long as you did, however, was honestly not your intention.
you see kuai glance at you gently, a fond look washing over him as you peak from over tomas' shoulders.
"c'mon, i know you want in on this too," you say playfully as you beckon kuai over. he smiles kindly as he takes you into his arms.
"it's good to see you again, (name). seems that time's been treating you right," he says with his hands on his hips, admiring your character as he gazes at you from up to down. you can't help but blush, and wave away his comment.
"you guys have grown up a lot too! what have they been feeding you guys?!" you playfully ask. the two of them playfully chuckle, as tomas responds with, "been drinking my 7 glasses of milk everyday!" you give him a confused look as kuai gives him a side-eye. "pretty sure it's meant to be water, tomas. but i'm glad you're so lactose-affluent," you say playfully with a grin.
kuai takes you softly by the arm and introduces you to the other members. "everyone, this is (name). she used to train with us and it's lucky for us she wasn't officially trained as an initiate or she'd be better than all of us." his compliments cause you to blush and roll your eyes, as you give a humble bow.
"where is bi-han?" you ask, reluctantly. kuai's gaze becomes sterner and yet more cautious. "he's with some students right now. though i uhh....am not sure how receptive he will be to your....visit." you smile. "don't worry for me, kuai. i can handle the boy i used to beat in our spars." "except he's not a boy now. he's grandmaster of the lin kuei." your eyes fall to the ground. of course he was. their father died just a few years ago and now bi-han had inherited one of arcticka's greatest creations. you look back up and tomas and kuai solemnly.
"sorry i could not attend your father's funeral. i only heard about it just recently and even if i knew about it earlier, i didn't know how you guys would feel about me popping up at his service unannounced."
"you're family, (name). you were then, you still are now. nothing's changed but the time passing," he says tenderly as he rests his hand on your shoulder. you give him a smile in return and nod your head.
"thanks for the sentiment, kuai. but....let's see if your big bro shares the same sentiment." kuai and tomas share an unsettling look as they take a deep breath in. "you're welcome to try and get through to him. don't blame me if he throws an ice pick at your head."
you roll your eyes playfully. "i'm sure i'll be fine, just tell me where he is."
tomas points to the other side of the stronghold, pointing to the large training room decorated with gold and red lanterns. come to think of it, most of the stronghold was painted with evidence of the Chinese New Year's festivities. you hadn't realized that the new year had encircled so quickly. as you made your way to bi-han, you felt your heart flutter. there was no telling how he would react. what if he actually DID throw an ice pick at your head? the nerves bubbled up in your gut as the cold air outside did nothing further to ease your unrest. as you walked to the large room where bi-han was at, your eyes briskly caught a glance at the remnants of more festivities at the stronghold. you smiled softly to yourself.
at least bi-han cared enough about his initiates to host what looked like some vendors/merchants and games at the stronghold for all of them. this gesture was sweet, almost like a father providing for the children he's adopted. just like his own father, though you didn't dare to say this out loud. this thought process however, had managed to calm you down until you got to the very wide doors to the training room. you took a deep breath in before you quietly opened the doors, peering in to a room with many masked initiates sitting on the floor inside gazing up at bi-han as he fervently explained something.
you moved to the back of the room, carefully moving past the other member to get a good look at bi-han, leaning your shoulder against the wall. a few minutes passed as he wrapped up his lesson, finally catching your eye. for a ninja he wasn't much aware of your presence. but he also hadn't felt your presence in years, and you were aware of that. when his eyes met yours, he didn't look surprised like a person gazing upon a long-dead wraith but rather he looked stunned as to how you even got here. there was anger hidden behind his eyes, but at the same time....
"(name)?" it had been years but you still felt the same way when he called out your name. his voice had gotten deeper and he had changed into a grown man. your eyes explored his stature -- he was taller, his muscles were defined, and a different aura now defined him. he was no longer the softer boy you knew him to be, now he was grandmaster of earth's last defence; of course he was going to be a changed man now.
you smiled cheekily, not knowing how to react. truthfully, you didn't know how you got this far.
"hi, bi-han. i hope i didn't distract you when you were busy teaching," you speak coyly, not wanting the other initiates to overhear your WHOLE conversation. he looks down at you, almost like he's debating what to say next. you take a deep gulp and you scrape away at the skin underneath your nails, causing them to bleed. after what seems like a milennia of consideration, he furrows his brows and briskly walks past you.
you nod your head with a soft smile. you understand why he feels this way but to be honest, you're not sure whether you would've preferred this treatment or having an ice pick gone straight to your dome. the other initiates look on carefully, trying not to invoke their grandmaster's anger. before they can do anything else, they follow their grandmaster out the room.
"don't take it to heart. if you were anyone else, he probably would've frozen you solid. i'm surprised he actually went the mature route."
you turn around to see whose voice those sentences belonged to. your eyes fell upon a man wearing a yellow uniform, similar to kuai's uniform but the colours inversed. his hair is tied up almost in a ponytail and restrained by a yellow bandana across his forehead. he's a good-looking man, but an unfamiliar face.
"i'm sorry, i don't recognize you," you say as you furrow your eyebrows piecing together who this man could be.
"cyrax. i haven't seen you before here either. though kuai said that there may be a guest visiting today." he gives you a small smile and stretches out his hand so you can shake it. you give him a warm yet stern handshake. you take his hand and give him a small shake.
"i was hoping for a warmer reception from him honestly. though it was my fault for thinking he might've reacted the same way i might've towards him."
"eh, he's been cranky for the last few days. still, that makes him not snapping on you all the more interesting. are you familiar to him? personally?"
"oh, ha, no," you wave him away embarrassingly, "i used to train here with the brothers. i'm acquainted with them pretty well. just haven't seen them in years, so...."
"ahh. well, good luck with trying to get sub-zero to warm up to you. you're attempting to do the impossible." he replies with a cheeky grin, before bowing to you and leaving the room. you take a deep breath in, unsure of how you were going to get the grandmaster to liven up a little and talk to you. as the day continued, you found yourself wandering the old halls of the stronghold you used to train in. it was night-time now, and you admired the dark glow on all the new year festival decorations. they shone bright as the gold off of them reflected the moon's light. a little upset at not being able to have the reunion you wanted, you walked out to the terrace surrounding the courtyard, looking down at the dimly lit enclosure. no one was out practicing right now, causing you tp scoff to yourself. when you practiced here you went well into the late night and yet none of these new initiates hold the same respect and regard for hardwork as you did. your mind flashes back to your sparring practices with bi-han. when you both were younger, he could hardly touch you you were so fast. your hits were hard and fast, mirroring bi-han's form but you were just that much quicker. he hated admitting it, but you were just a better fighter -- though your elemental magic couldn't hold a light to his cryomancy.
before your mind wandered off to the unknown, you heard footsteps behind you making their way down the corridor. you turned to see bi-han in a dark blue/black hanfu with a few books in his arms. your breath caught in your throat as you gazed upon him. if he saw you, he was doing a great job at pretending he never did. this didn't matter to you, as you quickly hid behind one of the pillars in the terrace. he had his head down, bad idea. as he came closer to you, you waited for the perfect moment to strike before finally revealing yourself. bi-han didn't react at all and if he did, it was out of pure annoyance.
"no. you're not leaving until we speak."
"are we finished?" he says stoically, before attempting to go around you. "that was enough of us speaking."
flabbergasted, you back up quickly and block his path again.
"bi-han." you say, defeated and exhausted. you didn't come all this way to get dejected and leave without getting proper closure. if you had to move on from him, you wanted to at least clear things up with him before getting on with your life.
"did you not leave the last time? i am simply doing to you what you have done to m-us." he replies matter-of-factly.
"i'm here now aren't i? c'mon now, i know you've been dying to talk to me. i wanted to talk to you all this time!" you say coyly, throwing a playful punch at his meaty arm.
he looks a little upset, or at least his eyes and frown betray him if he was going for a stoic look.
"why now? why after all these years. you might as well return to wherever you came from," he replies lowly and yet it shows that he's hurt. your heart warms a little at the fact that you could've had this much of an impact on him. you nod your head slowly and look into the enclosure beneath you.
"i'm sorry bi-han. you know i had to leave soon. it wasn't going to be forever, even if i wanted for it to be so. and i knew......" you look down, a long distance into the ground, "if i told any of you guys i was leaving i probably wouldn't have ended up leaving." the look on bi-han's face relaxes a bit, but you can still see him holding the stress on his face. there's not much more that you can say. he was right in being upset -- if anyone else abandoned you the way that you did to him or his brothers you'd be livid. the two of you spent months with one another and yet neither of you had confessed your feelings. the tension was palpable and everyone else noticed it too, it was just confusing as to why neither of you acted on your desires. for you, it was the fear of rejection. perhaps it was the same for him as well?
you lean on the terrace on your side, gazing at bi-han. just being near him after all these years was enough of a blessing but something in you wanted more, though you would never publicly admit to this. you stop yourself at first, but then reach for his arm, carefully, almost to not startle him like he's a wild animal at bay for now but at risk of leaving at the first sign of danger. he doesn't retreat, moving his gaze from your face to your arm. you gently get a hold of his forearm, grazing your thumbs against them. he's cold, but retracts the cold from his skin so that it's back to normal temperature. you hold your gaze at his arm, almost too shy to look at his face.
"i think you've missed me all this time."
bi-han scoffs. "not in the slightest."
"then why are you so close to me?"
it's like the act is intuition. he notices how close the two of you are now and apparently his closeness has gone unnoticed because only a mere half foot now separates the two of you. he lets out a small chuckle out of annoyance and shakes his head.
"you still remain as aggravating as ever."
you put your hand on your hip.
"i apologize for upsetting the mighty grandmaster of the lin kuei." you say, coming a little closer and almost closing the already-tiny gap between the two of you.
"that can be rectified." he says, almost flirtatiously. you're a bit taken aback by his frisky comment. you thought he might've actually been offended by your comment but it seems that his playful nature has become unfamiliar to you after all these years. you place your hand gently on his cheek, caressing his cheekbones and acne scars.
"i've missed you, you know," you finally express your true feelings.
bi-han's eyes soften a little.
"i should've been here-with you....i know that i didn't exactly give you much closure bu-," before you can continue on with your tedious apology he fills the space between the two of you and kisses you with a voracious hunger you've never seen before. his nose pushes against yours and you lean into the kiss, slightly moaning. he tries to slide his tongue against you and it's almost as though the two of you are young kids again, sparring. you defend your mouth, refusing to let his tongue inside but he grabs ahold of your other arm, surprising you. taking advantage of your shock, he slips his tongue inside triggering another gentle moan from you. the two of you wrestle with your tongues, exploring the smallest crevices of one another's mouths. years of tension and pressure are finally alleviated with this kiss. you lean in for more, like a child fiending for sugar, but he pulls away to gaze in your eyes.
you take a deep breath -- that workout took a lot of your wind away from you. however, your lips still draw near his, lowkey aching for more.
"i've wanted to do that for so long..." he says, pushing his forehead against yours. "are you planning on leaving again?"
you smile brightly. so the cold-hearted grandmaster did hold a soft spot for you.
"that depends. do you want me to stay?"
he removes his hands from your wrist and brings them up to your face, reciprocating your earlier caresses.
"as long as you don't leave again."
#mk1#mk1 2023#mk1 x reader#mortal kombat 1#bi han#sub zero#mk sub zero#bi han x reader#bi han x y/n#sub zero x reader#mk1 bi han#mk1 bihan
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I loved @twilightkitkat 's post SO MUCH I just had to add to it. It reminded me of a fic I'm working on rn.
I especially liked the part with Vanessa because I don’t think she just left him because of the reason Wade thinks. She didn’t just want him to be a superhero or whatever- in the flash back, she’s begging him to open up to her, to be present, to let her help him and I don’t thinks Wade could do it.
He felt like, incorrectly, that he couldn’t burden her with it. He has so much baggage and pain and issues, and he can’t corrupt her with that. He had cancer and instead of spending his last days with her, he left her. And when he survived he avoided her until she was literally kidnapped.
Everyone thinks Logan runs but really Wade does. He doesn’t want the people he loves to know he’s in pain. At his birthday party, he’s obviously miserable but everybody’s together! And smiling! So he’s going to be happy and pretend he’s just fine. But he’s not even very good at hiding it bc, like mentioned before, it’s a little bitter. His jokes don’t land or they come out passive aggressive and tense. But nobody calls him out for it except Logan. Logan who tells him in the meanest way that he’s a clown but that he’s sad, pathetic, and attention starved. He’s not buying the clown act.
And when Logan moves in, I love the idea that he starts noticing Wade when his mask falls or he gets too tired to pretend.
I’m writing a fic where Wade deals with chronic pain in less healthy ways and, of course, he tries to hide it. It's more brief and censored on tumblr bc I don't want to get my account terminated again, but it will be more detailed on ao3.
…
He dealt with it in other ways. The pain.
After all, a little bit of death couldn’t hurt, right?
Treating himself gently only sometimes worked. If he did everything right, if he did all the steps then maybe, maybe it would ease up. Sleep well, wake up at the right time, eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, draw a scalding bath, and take some hard hitting drugs.
Most days, Wade was much more impatient. Most days, Wade failed. It was too hard to take care of himself when waking up felt like dragging himself up from glacier water and pounding on the underside of the ice. Cooking was a nightmare he didn’t even want to consider tackling, and he was rarely patient enough to wait for the bath to fill or for sleep to take him as his body wracked with pain.
There were faster, easier, more instant ways of relieving the pain.
Any pain that didn’t stem from his own body was good.
With Vanessa, Wade had tried the healthy way. The three meals, ten hours of sleep, and taking his vitamins. The whole mile. There was this urge he constantly resisted that told him it would release the tension in his skull if he carved under his eye into his cheek where the migraine pulsed, like he was some sort of fucked up carpenter with voices in his head.
Vanessa didn’t understand it. If he was in pain, why would he want to be in more? She understood his masochistic tendencies in bed where they mixed pain and pleasure, but just pain? Just harm for the sake of being harmed? They got into a lot of fights about it.
He resisted the attempts. Hid them from her where he could. Sometimes he’d miscalculate, and she’d walk into the bathroom before he could heal and clean up his brain splattered on the bathroom tile. She hated it, and Wade hated that he was hurting her.
He reeled back any anger or snippy comments that stemmed from the sheer newness of having his body feel like it was dying all the time. It was so hard to interact when pain rippled through him like a feedback chamber. It made his fuse short and curt. His witty remarks turned snappish and bitchy. People asked stupid questions and made even stupider comments when he was having a Bad Pain Day, and everything felt a bit more raw and oozing. Wade didn’t have the energy to keep up the act and while his mind rarely stopped running, it shifted into something darker when pain was on his mind. His jokes fell flat, laced with a bitter ending. Sometimes, Wade didn’t even want to talk. He wanted to punch someone. Maybe even himself. And every time he snapped or said something he didn’t mean, he wanted to hurt himself even more.
Quickly, he grew exhausted putting on a brave face, and he had never been good at letting people help him. There was this awful clash of wanting to be comforted by the people he loved and hating that he needed comfort. It made him feel weak and pathetic, and Wade already hated so much about himself that he didn’t want anyone to see the twisted, fucked up parts of him. How ironic that he always had an audience anyway. He couldn’t hide it from you or whoever was watching him those days, but he could hide it from the people he loved. Shield them from it, almost.
On Bad Pain Days, Wade didn’t want anything to be different. He didn’t want to acknowledge the pain he dealt with, and seeing that pity on her face set his teeth on edge. It both hurt to be babied and, later, it hurt to be ignored when he stubbornly insisted he was fine.
Obviously, it didn’t work out.
It was better with Al.
Al tried to help. Once or twice. Her motherly instincts kicked in, maybe, Wade didn’t know. He shot himself once in front of her while they were watching the Bachelorette together, and she cursed him out and told him to stop and never do it again. Wade took his little attempts to the bathroom after that. He cleaned up after himself. He went out. Wade tended not to do the more dramatic methods that draw attention.
Wade had it down to a science. A decent chunk out of his frontal lobe sent Wade into a pleasant, almost subspace-like place. He would just… float and forget that his body hurt all that bad. It was good for Bad Brain DaysTM too when Wade’s thoughts were louder, faster than normal, and the voices stopped sounding like himself. When the fourth wall was a little too easy to see, and it got to him, being the doomed comic relief, when his head was trying to split his consciousness in two.
If his temporal lobe was nicked, then Wade would start hallucinating and hear a banger of a song while time, space, and movement sort of fucked up for a second. It felt like getting high, but he didn’t need an entire bag of cocaine and to hot box weed to get there.
If something happened to his parietal lobe, the pain wouldn’t know where to go. A bear could literally be eating his insides, but the pain signals couldn’t register if they had nowhere to go.
He did most of his questionable coping methods in the stereotypical bathroom spot. It was private, and Al got onto him for getting blood and bits all over the apartment. He once left his liver or his kidney in the kitchen sink, and Althea threatened to call the cops on him - her coke stash be damned. Now he’d drape himself in the empty tub, play music loudly, and expertly deal with the pain.
The system he had was fine. Regulated. It was working. It was fine. It wasn’t going to get any better.
Until Logan.
...
I haven't posted it on ao3 yet, but it will be apart of the series for my fic where Wade cries in the Honda instead of fighting.
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AITA for not defending an ex-friend when people called her a slut?
I (20 f) fell out with my best friend and roommate M (20 f) at the end of sophomore year of college. reason we fell out isn't the main subject of this post but I think it's relevant so I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.
For context I'm Black attending a VERY white school. Frenshman year I was the only black girl in my building and this was just post-covid so student groups were pretty dead. So first trimester most of my college friends were the girls from my floor including M (white) and S (20f, asian american). It was very isolating tbh, esp bc I experienced a lot of microaggressions, but the girls I befriended were pretty good at sharing my outrage and letting me confide in them.
The worst incident was when at a party, a guy (G, white) made some very racist comments towards me and in general (said the n-word a few times). I admit I escalated it by engaging w him and the whole thing got out of hand, a lot of people saw, and he got a reputation as a racist. Afterwards, he was always rude to me, blaming me for egging him on while drunk and just constantly making disrespectful comments about me and my 'attitude' where i could hear. no one ever said anything to his face but were supportive of me after the fact - S was always particularly supportive and said she could relate.
I was generally fine with avoiding G esp in sophomore year when we moved out. I lived with M and another friend (P) and it went pretty well. We were asked in like November if we would renew our lease, and though M and I wanted to the third friend didn't, so we began to think of replacements, and S was looking for a place.
Thing is, while S and I were still on good terms I felt like she was being a bit secretive w me. She'd often come over and talk privately w M and I got the gist she was seeing someone and didn't want me to know. I shook it off as us growing apart and the fact I'd gotten more involved in Black student groups and hadn't hung around with our dorm friends as much, but then in Jan, as we were planning to sign the new lease, I found out she was dating G. Tbh at this point we weren't even close friends that I felt a strong personal betrayal, but more so I was mad at them both for not telling me while making plans for us to live together. They knew I was uncomfortable around G and wouldn't want to live w his gf, esp without knowing. It felt like they were almost purposefully going behind my back.
I didn't do anything at the time, just slowly backed out of the lease renewal and made other arrangements. I stopped hanging out with S almost completely and was just cordial w her and took a big step back from M and our dorm friends.
The other relevant bit of context here is M had a boyfriend (T, 20 m) who was in our freshman dorm and very close to our year one friends (lived with them sophomore year and now junior year too). She broke up w him in Feb, which led to a lot of her friendships w our dorm friends (her only friends really) to deteriorate a bit, esp as she was no longer super comfy hanging around where he was. this especially became an issue in the spring trimester bc she got a new boyfriend over the break, a friend from her classes T hadn't liked.
So, M kept pressuring me to hang out w her and our dorm friends a lot more, which inevitably meant seeing S and now G, who they'd all decided they were cool being around when I distanced myself. I told her why i didn't want to and I didn't want to see G again but she promised he had 'changed' and wouldn't say anything to me. eventually I folded and went out w them all once and it honestly sucked. M completely abandoned me to be w her other friends, G didn't say anything but kept glaring at me the whole time, and I felt very out of place. afterwards I told M i was sorry, I know she felt awkward around her ex without me, but I wouldn't do that again.
She left it till like the end of the year then there was a big dinner she really wanted to go to that T would be at (her bf was not invited), w all our dorm friends. I kept saying I wouldn't go, but then she told me she checked w the hosts and confirmed (and promised) G wouldn't be coming. I said okay but asked we sit next to each other and made it clear how I felt around S etc, and she agreed and promised we would. Long story short G was there, I wound up next to S and across from him snickering at me the whole time, with her on the other end of the table. I texted M about it, she said it was 'fine' and I was imagining it and to try and enjoy the gathering.. yeah no. I dipped before desert, she chased me outside asking what was up and I explained why i was upset, she said i can't expect her to be there for me the whole night and she's allowed to 'have a good night without my drama,' i said racism wasn't drama and she literally dragged me along to deal with her drama, nevermind my comfort, and that she was an incredibly selfish friend for putting me in this position. I left, she wound up crying with everyone comforting her, everyone there (M included) went off at me for being an unsupportive friend/dredging up year old drama with G/overall making everything about race, I cut them all off and moved my stuff into my girlfriend's place a week after all this and didn't speak to anyone since.
which is pretty much all the backstory (longer than the main bit, sorry), that gets us to the actual AITA situation. Junior year starts, I'm at a welcome back party w some other friends and i'm vaguely aware my old dorm friends (including S and G) are also here, but it's a huge party and i'm w my very supportive friends who ik will back me if anything happens so i dont really care. eventually M arrives w her bf, gives me an awkward look but doesn't say anything to me.
Then at some point, I'm upstairs using the bathroom and I hear the girls from our dorm group speaking to M in the hallway. Apparently it came out over summer she'd hooked up w her new boyfriend before she ended things with T and they were all pissed at her (esp for her playing the victim w her ex). I tried to stay in the bathroom until the conversation ended but someone was pounding on the door and I wound up having to get out and waddle past them awkwardly to get back downstairs. When I got out one of the girls was calling M a slut and other names and while i tried to avoid it I accidentally made eye contact with M, who was super upset and crying. I kinda just shrugged and went downstairs.
Later that night i got a long ass message from her new bf about how he knows I'm upset with her but it wasn't fair for me to just leave her in that situation, and that it was petty and selfish of me (esp bc I'm usually the person calling out this shit). I spoke to my gf, and she said she understands why i did nothing but also that it's never okay for people to call someone a slut. I agree with that 100% and in any other case i might have tried to diffuse the situation (like if it was safe and I thought I could). I've told a couple friends who think I did nothing wrong and it wasn't fair to expect me to say smth when she never said/did anything to defend me and that she had it coming, but my mom told me I should've done the kind thing and not stoop to their level and it's made me feel really bad. I think I might be TA bc i could have stood up for her without anything bad happening to me beyond being in an uncomfortable convo, and also bc it kinda felt good seeing her friends turn on her? Like she threw me under the bus to be in their good books and defend them and they dropped her ass anyway, and if I acted from a vengeful place then thats asshole-y of me. but also no one in this story has apologised to me once and as my friend says its not fair to rely on black ppl to fix racist white ppls mess.
so, AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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Ranking and reviewing the musicals I saw in 2024!
Starting this in April so I don't have the freshest memory for the first two but the rest will all be done as soon as possible after I see them!
Six - Already seen this show twice but its still such a cool experience! Last time I went to see it was pretty close together so it was the same cast for both but this time it was obviously a different one gchkfkjgv- I think I preferred the cast I saw before though, this one wasn't bad at all they just had better chemistry. Also this time I genuinely didn't care for Heart Of Stone. I hate it on the soundtrack so I was expecting to hate it on stage but when I went to see it the first two times I ADORED it. I thought it just couldn't be done justice by the soundtrack but now I think its just one that is either incredible or boring, no in-between. Her little speech before the song almost made me cry though so it's not that she was a bad actor, I just think she's better at acting than acting through song. ANYWAY ENOUGH ABOUT HEART OF STONE a really interesting thing about going to see a show again a few years later is that you see what lines they've changed and added (and also what lines were complete lies like no I don't remember you from my GCSEs yall have not been mentioned once fthdrhutfxhtc/silly). Idk its just cool to me seeing how shows change over time. Also the actors weren't all negative compared to the ones I've seen before! This Katherine Howard was INCREDIBLE. I fucking ADORED All You Wanna Do, it's not my favourite song but it's DEFINETLY my favourite one on stage GOSH she smashed it out of the park. Absolutely loved every second.
Rating 7/10, would be higher but seeing a better version of this show put this version down for me. Still really fun though!!!!
Your Lie In April - I've spoken about this one before so I'll keep it brief, really good show, was very cool to see the first English performance of it and I geeked out hardddd during it. Was incredibly funny which was surprising given how sad of a manga YLIA is but it was very pleasant still. Watari was the best character they gave him all the best jokes and you could just tell his actor was having an absolute blast playing him he was LOVING it. But on the negative side, there was a lot of pacing issues in the second act and some lines were really awkward to the point people were laughing at lines that were meant to be sad. I don't think it's the actors fault, I think the book just could've had more work done on it, it mightve been TOO directly translated. Also the pacing issues could've been at least a little helped by getting rid of the 8 minute scene were Kousei practices playing his song like it was cool but did we really need that when you CUT THE FINAL DUET??? LIKE YOU COULDVE KEPT THAT AND JUST INCLUDED KAORI I COULDVE FORGIVEN THE PACING ISSUES IF YOU DIDNT CUT ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SCENES IN THE STORY- oh and there were a few too many songs like I love myself shows with 50 songs on the soundtrack (Hamilton and Next To Normal my beloveds) but the pacing issues could've been really helped by cutting one or two of them, as good as they were. The show could've really been helped by being just a little bit longer.
Rating 7.5/10 Still really enjoyable show and I really hope to see it again because I'm sure the quality will improve!! But as it is its not the greatest it can be even though the potential is there. The only reasons it's higher than six is because Watari was fucking hilarious, the scene where Emi and Takashi show up on bikes for NO fucking reason, the songs being bangers that I really want to listen to again cast recording when, and Young Kousei started break-dancing during the bows it was incredible.
Waitress - I wasn't going to include this one since it's not a physical performance but like. I'm gonna do it anyway bc there was only one showing of it at the cinema so like its basically just as cool right?/silly And anyway proshots are the only way I can see Broadway shows so this was only my second exposure to one and DAMN AM I JEALOUS OF U AMERICANS (my first was Hamilton's proshot btw which doesn't really show the full extent of Broadway since its one set throughout the whole show but that one is still amazing ofc)
The set design? Fucking IMMACULATE it was incredible GOD. Literally some of the coolest sets I've ever seen in my entire life (ngl probably THE coolest) and the fucking PIE FRIDGES ON EITHER SIDE OF THE STAGE??? LIKE????? HELLO????????? Making that many props must've taken forever what the fuck. Just the props and sets in general astounded me. I've done shows with props and sets before and I've seen them with props and sets before but never have I seen so many, not to mention how gorgeous they all looked. Genuinely wondering if some of the pies were real or if they were all props bc they were legit eating them like god those must be a pain to make for 8 shows a week-
I adore the characters and plot. I'd already seen the movie (which isn't a musical, was very disappointed when i discovered that lmao) so I had a vague knowledge of what I was going into but it still blew me away. I was genuinely sobbing throughout the entire show I'm not even joking 😭 I'd only heard a few of the songs since I had to sing them for my Musical Theatre grades but hearing them sung on stage gave me fucking goosebumps still, ESPECIALLY Sara Bareilles' songs. She's always been my favourite Jenna so it was amazing seeing her perform it. There's just something about seeing someone perform songs they wrote that destroys you so much more. However, some of the songs I wasn't really as invested in, the lyrics weren't sung very clearly and it made it difficult to follow along. I'm going to listen to them on the soundtrack at some point but I decided not to do so until I wrote this review as it's for this specific production and not the musical as a whole.
Without spoiling it, a part of the ending was the only thing I personally had an issue with, outside of the song issues I mentioned. I understand why it had to happen for the story and characters and I think it's cute but PLEASE. I WAS SO INVESTED IN THAT PART OF THE PLOT PLEASEEEEEE. It partially makes me question why that part of the plot really happened??? I don't know I guess it could just be me not being knowledgeable on that sort of thing and I can think of a few reasons why they went that route but its still weird to me, especially after this one scene that made me so certain it was going to go in this one direction.
9/10, incredible musical, definitely in my top 5 (for now), but some story and song issues made me push it down a bit.
Hamilton - ALEXANDER HAMILTON!!! I've been waiting to see this show for so long yall don't even KNOW. I've obviously seen the proshot like a shit ton but as yall know that isn't comparable to seeing it on stage. Ofc having already seen it so many times, the impact was lessened but I'm not gonna hold it against this show. When it came to Six the versions I'd seen were on very even playing fields but you can't compare a Broadway pro-shot with the original cast and the writer of the show himself to a UK tour that has only just switched to a new theatre (not that the UK tour was bad in any way shape or form, it was just obviously smaller scale which is completely fair).
First off, let me say, Peggy/Maria was INCREDIBLE. God her voice was fucking gorgeous, the fact that she's only in about 3 songs is criminal and her acting was so amazing. I would love to see her in a show again because I need to see more of her. Layfette/Jefferson was another highlight, god I adored him, he was incredible as Layfette but he turned it up to ELEVEN as Jefferson and I was immediatly hooked whenever he came back on stage, his movements and his acting and vocals were all so animated and it was so goddamn cool to see. The way he says "I tried :(" in *last song* will be stuck in my brain foreverrr.
I actually got a picture of the set before the show and just LOOK at how gorgeous this is
Like HELLO??? U cannot look at that set and tell me it isn't the coolest shit you've seen in your entire life. This is a good time to mention that I had STALL TICKETS TO THIS. I didn't know until we sat down bc going to this was my 16th birthday present from my Grandma (I love her so so much) and all she told me was that we were going to Hamilton nothing else WACHJXFHG- so yeah that was absolutely insane. I got a great view as well so YIPPEE!!! Definetly elevated my experience as I was far enough from the stage where I could see at least a good deal of it and close enough where I could see the expressions and it was SO COOL.
Also before I get onto problems I have to say that this show had possibly the FUNNIEST 9 year old Phillip performance I've seen it was fucking incredible, he like jumped up and WRAPPED HIS ENTIRE BODY AROUND HAMILTON AND I WAS JUST DYING WAVVGHJFGH- I thought the thing of a grown ass man playing a 9 year old was funny before but this production took it to a whole other level literally had my head in my hands laughing so goddamn hard it was amazing.
I think my biggest problem with the show was honestly Burr. Like I wasn't the biggest fan of Hamilton himself but he absolutely had his moments, especially when he was singing (and in Farmer's Refute he was so fucking funny in that song). And The World Was Wide Enough was incredible, honestly I think he really shined in Act 2, he was amazing in that, Act 1 was more of the issue. But Burr I didn't really like for most of the show. Not as a character because Burr is absolutely one of my favourites, most of my top 5 songs from this show either feature him or are only him (the only outlier being Say No To This) so it was relatively disappointing that his performance didn't click with me, especially since Burr is such an important character. I will say that The Room Where It Happened was SPECTACULAR but otherwise yeah I wasn't a fan. My favourite song in the show is Dear Theodosia and the fact that that was probably one of my least favourite moments in this specific production says a lot. He did have his moments like Hamilton's Act 1 performance did, but otherwise I was not a fan. Also I saw more of Burr in Laurens' actor than I did Burr's so like. Yeah. He's not a bad actor or singer I just don't think he's that great of a Burr.
Eliza is kind of a middle ground for me, because she had moments where she was absolutely incredible and then moments where I was just like hhhhhhh. Her actress had a gorgeous voice and it was very distinct, like whenever the ensemble sang you could pick her out easily, I love her voice so much. But early on in songs like Helpless her voice had a tendency to sound very nasally and pick me-ish (idk how else to describe it), especially on the "I Do's", like Helpless had me WORRIED. But she really does improve as the show goes on and she grew on me a ton. It's just early on where I wasn't that keen on her. Songs like Burn and *last song* are where her voice really shined, god those were absolutely incredible. Also I will say, she is a *very* new Eliza, the old Eliza's run ended just before I saw it (which I was pretty sad about ngl because I was so looking forward to seeing her) so I will give her the benefit of the doubt because for one of her first shows as Eliza she did a fucking amazing job despite certain bits at the start being not the best.
To end on a more positive note, I'm not much of a dancer (leg problems ayyyyyy) so I can't speak too much on the choreography but it was absolutely breath-taking, anyone who's seen Hamilton knows how incredible the choreography is no matter who's directed it but god I adored it. The movement really does make this show I swear. I wish I could've watched all of the ensemble do their thing the whole way through because the Hamilton ensemble is always an absolute highlight of the show and they all did an incredible job god I wish I could watch just that choreography again I'm in LOVE with it all.
Another 9/10, Burr's performance would've tanked it a bit more but everything else was so incredible that I really can't score it too low, if it weren't for Burr I probably would've liked it more than the proshot and for people who've seen the proshot you know that's a LOT to say. Brilliant show, would love to see it again. If the Burr changes I will be FIGHTING for a ticket because that's bound to be a life changing experience.
Bonnie And Clyde - Is a show I was going to see but the UK tour got cancelled due to poor ticket sales :( I'm really bummed about it bc I legit had front row seats to it. But we used the refund to get tickets to Chicago next April so yippee!!! Sad I can't yap about seeing it in person but I hope to watch the proshot at some point!!! I sadly haven't gotten around to it at the time of finishing this post but Jeremy Jordan is in it so I'll get around to it eventually.
Dear Evan Hansen - Okay writing this over a month late bc I wrote the Hamilton one in fucking June and I went to go see this in October so I straight up forgot I was doing this 😭😭 but yeah it's November now. The day of me seeing Book Of Mormon is closer than the day I went to go see DEH. Wild. So yeah bc of this, this section may not be as in depth as the rest due to it having been so long BUT!!! I will try my best!!!
First things first, I was SCARED for this show. Hamilton showed me what having an actor who didn't work for the role in one of the most important roles of the show could do, and given Evan is around ALL the time I was begging he would be good. And guess what? He was... AMAZING‼️‼️ Absolutely loved him, genuinely I would kill to see him in more performances because he was incredible. I doubt that would happen bc he's from a different part of the country from me but honestly he deserves to go on as many tours as he damn pleases. Honestly the entire cast was solid, there wasn't a single actor I didn't think fit their character, they were all really well cast. Zoe had a few weird moments here and there but it was literally opening night in a completely different venue, I cannot give two shits, go girl go u slayed.
Connor was definetly my favorite character, I was most excited about this because of him as the soundtrack doesn't really give you much Connor Content™️. As someone who's read the book though I genuinely wish there was more of him (I know the book is based off the musical but it's way better fight me). Connor is just as much of the main character as Evan is, and whilst I know that trying to squeeze in more character stuff with him would've been generally very difficult I kinda just wish he was lurking on stage at times, would've been a good metaphor for Connor's looming prescence over Evan that he self-imposed and now he's having to deal with the constant consequences of. We do get a few moments of Evan's version of Connor talking to him (or singing with him in the case of Sincerely Me, my second favorite song here as Connor's actor was brilliant, it was staged amazingly, and ofc its the only comedic song in the show so you're bound to get a lot of enjoyment out of it), but I wish his presence were more frequent, its a musical man get creative!!!!
The set was incredible, genuinely they knocked it out of the park, especially given it was a relatively small venue, at least compared to some of the ones I know it was performed at previously. They had moving kitchens and different bedroom sets and it was sickkkk!!!!!! Straight up loved the set design. And the songs were gorgeous, everyone had a beautiful voice which honestly should be expected given it was a tour but I already told yall about Hamilton, and tbf I have seen a few shows where the actors take an entire act to start sounding good 😭😭 (Veronica in the performance of Heathers I saw at this same theatre I am talking to you I hated her in the first act and then suddenly in act 2 she blew me away like GIRL WHERE WERE U HIDING THAT VOICE HUH????) So this was just genuinely a really cool thing to me, idk how they can sing so incredibly for 2 hours straight its mesmerising.
The best part about this show was being able to see my favourite song performed though because it was CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE. THE MOST IMPORTANT SONG IN THE SHOW (IN MY OPINION) WAS CUT FROM THE MOVIE. Good For You fucking SLAPS and I was estatic to be able to see it in its full context and glory. Evan is a sympathetic character but he's also a character that NEEDS to be held accountable for his horrible actions and the fact that the movie barely did that has always pissed me off so thank you performance of DEH in its best form you have avenged me.
8/10, I generally still had some issues with it, I dont think this show is the best it can be (I still kind of hate the ending) and I probably would've had more negative things to talk about if I wrote this review earlier, but still a great show! Evan's actor should be given as much work as humanly possible I will FIGHT FOR HIM.
Book Of Mormon- OKAY SO UM. ITS BEEN A MONTH AGAIN. ITS LITERALLY 2025 NOW. I was finally gonna write this review after my birthday bc I was hella busy before and then I got really sick. Oops! BUT!!! I CAN YAP NOW!!!
This is one of my favorite musicals, straight up no lie. I was listening to the HELL outta it after I went to go see it, I listened to Spooky Mormon Hell Dream like 67 times one day 😭 the soundtrack is just. Incredible. SMHD is definetly my favourite song, it's so cool on stage and literally everything about it makes me go crazy but some other highlights were Hello!, Turn It Off, and I Believe. I've had them all stuck in my head since I saw it.
I didn't have a single issue with any of the actors or honestly just anything about this show, which is shocking because I thought like there has to be at least one person who I won't be fond of because that's been the case all year, but genuinely they all did an absolutely amazing job and I adored every actor, I couldn't get enough. Obviously this show is a bit crude and there were moments when I was like oh. Oh no. But I can't blame that on the show, its by the South Park creators what can you expect? I still loved those parts, the best thing about going mostly solo (my mom decided she wanted to go last second but obviously couldn't sit with me) was that I didn't have to worry about how the people with me would react to it, I just got to have fun!
The sets were absolutely gorgeous in this show, I obviously couldn't get a pic of any of them because unlike Hamilton it's not just one but here's the boarder around the stage! It was so pretty!
Also yes I had an insanely good seat, row B baby! I have never been this close to the stage ever and i was so giddy. It's genuinely so cool being able to see all the little details on the props up close!
The costume design was also incredible, I've found out it's standardised across all the performances so it's not exactly a perk of this specific performance but I still want to yap about it! The demon costume for the General was so freaking awesome, honestly all the costumes for SMHD were cool as hell. Genuinely I encourage you to look up a video of this song being performed because whilst it won't be as cool as seeing it live (and from what I've seen the sets aren't as cool as the one I saw), the costumes are awesome and the song is just genuinely fun to see performed!
The two main characters were obviously the highlight of the show, their chemistry was crazy and every single moment they had together just had me smiling so wide, they're absolutely perfect. Kevin my beloved I could never hate him 🙏🙏🙏‼️‼️ Even if the rest of the show wasn't as good as it is, I'd still love it purely because of these two. They're so silly 😭😭💖💖🌸🌸🌸
Also I just want to mention that during Turn It Off, Kevin has a vest like all the rest of the elders and he looks so fucking confused it was amazing, as soon as the dance bit is over bro just rips it off and goes to sit with an equally confused Arnold who comforts him it's so funny 😭😭😭 literally acted perfectly I adored it
10/10. The plot of this show isn't much to ride home about, it's not like a life changing experience or anything, but it doesn't have to be! Its a musical! The Book of Mormon is just a genuinely fun, creative, hilarious show and I enjoyed every minute of it! I was genuinely desperate to see it again and I have never felt that way about a show before now. It completely smashes what it sets out to accommplish and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Not my favourite musical ever but honestly I think it knocked Waitress out of my top 5 lmao, sorry Waitress- I would put it at Number 3 or 4 probably!
And now!!! Ranking time!!!
6. Six
5. Your Lie In April
4. Dear Evan Hansen
3. Waitress
2. Hamilton
1. Book Of Mormon
This was genuinely really fun to do and I love going to see musicals so this genuinely might become a yearly thing! I'm seeing a decent number this year despite thinking I wasn't going to as shows keep popping up so ill probably have enough for another list like this! (spoiler alert I'm almost 100% convinced that Hadestown will be my number 1 but we'll see!!! Literally my only exposure to that show has been ads as I want to go in as blind as possible past what I already know Greek myth wise but I know it'll be spectacular)
If you've gotten to the end thank you for reading, I really appreciate it‼️‼️‼️💖💖💖🌸🌸🌸 I know it's a long ass post
#musicals#musical review#six#hamilton#dear evan hansen#waitress#your lie in april#musical theatre#book of mormon#the book of mormon#ranking#rai rambles
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Isa my darling! Happy Birthday, albeit a couple of days early.
Seeing you screech in Philza's streams because Apollo hit you with that dodgeball yet again makes me giggle a lot.
How about since headcanon's for qPhilza's past/pre island relationship with qFit. How they got to know each other, and how quickly they became friends?
Idr if I said this on Tumblr yet but deadass I asked Apollo on my pendulum if qPhil is his blorbo and he said yes. He's been as invested in shit as me and it's been hilarious. I literally have crows yelling at me irl to keep writing rn but I'm answering headcanons first.
The entire time I've been distracted between writing these, crows have been yelling at me about it. Which. Is how Apollo communicates with me when I'm not actively talking to him through readings LMFAO.
Also thank you for the birthday wish :D [desperately hoping nothing else horrible happens this weekend please god]
Anyway qPhil headcanons masterlist let's go
Disclaimer that I didn't know of Fit before QSMP (I've only been in mcyt for 4 years monkaS) so these are gonna be largely pulled out of my ass and a lil repetitive.
These two both have experiences in anarchy and war, they've definitely brushed shoulders a couple times bc of it
They admired each other's work ofc. Phil is a macro scale kinda guy, total annihilation and victory that makes a statement. Fit's more of a micro scale kinda guy, zeroing in on one person or group individually and making their lives hell until the end in the name of surviving a little longer
On that note, I think we all sleep a little bit on the fact that Fit is Also a survivalist like Phil, just in a very different set of high stakes conditions. These two are equally skilled in it and equally sharp strategists
On that note, anyone who knew them from the past would fear the idea of them coming together to create a plan of any kind, especially of the anarchist-fueled variety. If the Federation has done their research right, they should know full well how terrifying this duo could be in an effort to dismantle their authority
Btw by brushing shoulders I don't just mean brief passings by, I mean they've like. Camped out for a night together, temporarily truced for the sake of safety in numbers, etc. More than a few conversations have been had even if the time they've spent together totals to less than a week.
However, even when they weren't actively paired together, they'd still occasionally trade or gift each other surplus resources. It was a genuine kind act, even if it simultaneously served as a reason for each of them to not come after the other. I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
Like why do you think Fit was one of the first threats on Phil's mind in Purgatory. He Knew(tm). And he knew Fit has an affinity for picking off the weak first, like a lion after a herd of antelope. To him, Purgatory was the awakening of a monster who'd been dormant for a long time.
See, present day they're QPR as fuck, they'd never do this now without 10x the pressure Purgatory put on them, but back in the day they took close notes on each other's strengths and weaknesses. Just In Case, yknow? They could very much kill each other. Back in the day they would've if it came to it, no matter how good an ally they were.
Something about how these two used to be so cold and hard to the world. Be it to self-preserve or some other reason. Something about how now they've both softened and warmed after becoming parents. They never could've imagined the other would "weaken" like this, especially back then.
Phil 🤝🏻 Fit - Phil being a historian of the deities/builds of his Hardcore World, Fit being a historian of 2B2T
A lot of this boils down to mutual respect, common interests, and secret admiration tbh. And what's more homoerotic than that?
They're both crisis preppers. Not doomsday type shit, just. Being ready for shit to hit the fan. They both come from places where life is significantly more dangerous than it is in other realms.
The crazy thing is though? Despite the above, they can't imagine being from each other's realms. Phil would LOATHE 2B2T and Fit would hate the absoluteness of Hardcore. Isolation is absolute, death is absolute. There's no wiggle room or margin for error.
With how adaptive the two of them are due to their origins, they could probably acclimate to any conditions. They'd complain about having to, especially if it was inconvenient, but they could. They used to swap tips & tricks with each other on how to improve their adaptability too.
Fit would've 100% been down to join Phil on Doomsday in DSMP. He was thoroughly impressed when Phil told him the story.
#qsmp#qsmp philza#qsmp fitmc#qsmp fit#qsmp fitza#qsmp veterans#qphil headcanons#AMFMN things#<- bc these apply to the fic
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Rolling out the Red Carpet for the Cinema branch!!
Hello,hi, it's me that one person who makes the funny videos and thinks she can draw(she cannot) Inspiration hit me in the middle of my film studies course while watching Vertigo by Alfred Hitchcock and I thought "what if I made my own LCB branch where every sinner is based on a movie I've watched in my film class (and just general classic Hollywood cinema) and so I did it! The branch is currently VERY unfinished,as I add a new sinner each week for every film we watch in the class,so lemme introduce you to the guys that I've at least doodled so far(awful art incoming lol)
First up,we need a manager,or should I say,director(get it, because it's based on movies?) anyway here's Dorothy! If it wasn't obvious, she's based on the Wizard of Oz,She may or may not have come from the Outskirts and now she's running around with these sinners,and her little dog too! Oh and her red slippers(boots now,IG lol)? Those have a use, clicking her heels 3 times allows her to bring her sinners back to life!
Our guide is Glinda! Also based on Wizard of Oz,I have....not drawn her yet! But she is ultra hands off,she mainly communicates by sending Dorothy letters in bubbles,oh and did I mention she's a color fixer? ...yea I probably should have started with that
Now onto our actual sinners, don't ask me about major plot details about them,I haven't worked it out yet,
Sinner #1,This is Chaplin! Based on Modern Times by Charlie Chaplin,this guy is more of a fusion of the two main characters of the movie since uhm...neither of them have names and frankly their stories are both so intertwined that You could easily mix them together so here we are. They are the most comical of the sinners,I have described them as having a lot of cat like behaviors to a degree, and they are selectively mute(silent film lol) They have a white board they write on like it's Lethal Company and they have Heelys(mainly for the funny)
I haven't uhm.....finished sinner #2 yet because everytime I try to draw him my art style makes him look like the Pringles mascot lol but it's Kane! Kane is based on Charles Foster Kane from Citizen Kane by Orson Welles! Right now currently he's like "god I'm in a company of all women...AND CHAPLIN" He's rich like....richer than Hong Lu rich,he does seem to offhandedly mention something Rosebud and it seems almost like he's searching for it...wonder what that could be?(Btw go watch Citizen Kane, I'm not telling you what Rosebud is)
Finally out last Sinner at the moment: Sinner #3 Judy based on Judy from Vertigo! Yessir this is the reason for the branch, her source got my imagination spinning (she may or may not be mine and Amia's favorite atm of the branch) I would have made Scottie a sinner but......I hate his ass and need him exploded and not in the cute way(JUDYYYYYY YOU DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER GIRLLL) Judy is also 20x more fun as a character than Mr. "I'm gonna stare at women for 70% of my screentime" Honestly I could gush so much about her but I won't to keep this brief... essentially by the end of Vertigo Scottie convinces her to change everything about herself to turn her into his lost love/obsession Madeleine (ai know there's more too it but uhm....Go watch Vertigo, I'm not spoiling the movie)[PS, Ignore the doodle in the corner, that was from an idea that Amia's OC Tessie and Judy would get along well]
Tomorrow we'll actually have Sinner #4 who's gonna be based on someone from the movie Sunset Boulevard ( I don't pre watch these bc my attention span actually increases so much when I analyze movies for Limbus)
Anyway I'll keep updating you on the Cinema branch their tag is "LCB Cinema Branch" if you want everything in one place oh! And feel free to draw my lil guys if u want,just @ me or tag me or something. uhm don't ask about their weapons or colors or anything I haven't thought that far ahead yet lol
#slothpower#LCB cinema branch#limbus company oc#Amia's actually drawn Judy before but I wasn't gonna post that here I'll let them do it#If Limbus was more popular I'd so try and get extra credit for this like “look at me and how media literate I am”#I think I've made poor Amia watch more classic Hollywood cinema than they ever considered over this branch
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hi brownie! i just broke my heart over your treaper fics and those boys are in desperate need for a happy ending so i have some time travel fix it ideas-
reaper wakes up on the train with a clear mind and memories of being sang to sleep (to death) by a boy who he had only met in a cage of the capitol's making. it was a hazy blur, something that might have been a dream or nightmare, until he sees the boy again.
treech, reaper knows, and when their eyes meet upon seeing each other in that cramped truck transporting them to the zoo enclosure, he thinks that treech knows him, too.
treech had waken alongside lamina, who he'd missed, who he'd mourned, and thinks he's hallucinating. it wasn't reaper, but he grabbed it with desperate hands, no longer stained with blood as they had been moments before. it takes him a bit longer to work out that he's back to relive the horrors again, but the relief he'd felt seeing reaper, realizing he wouldn't be alone in this repetition, in what could be a second chance, is overwhelming.
so, after a bit of time to comfort each other, they get to talking aobut what to do. treech isn't leaving lamina behind, and reaper doesn't want to abandon dill either, so they're trying to work out something to get the four of them out- except it's not a very big enclosure so someone overhearing their escape plan quickly spirals into all of the tributes plotting to get the heck out. treech and reaper know what's to come, it's just a matter of working out a plan to escape & what point in time would give them the best chance of success.
maybe it's intervening early to keep brandy alive (and verbally tearing arachne a new one while they're at it). maybe it's getting closer to their mentors to get some actual support for their situation. maybe it's during the arena bombing and using that chance to book it out of there. maybe it's just collectively deciding that they're not going to kill each other in the arena bc if the capitol wants to prove they're monsters, then they're going to raise the mirror back at them. if it's that last one, then maybe they all just get a chance to be kids having a found family arc :)
(anyways, love all your fics and fix its! thanks for writing them <3)
Hiii!!
>:D
Oh My God I saw your comments and they made me so happy!! For one because someone actually read it and commented and for two because mission accomplished. I'm glad I broke your heart with the rarepair I created and am the only shipper of :p.
Honestly yeah this would be an amazing explanation for how any given fix-it starts. Two dumbasses in love don't wanna lose each other or their friends again and it spirals. Aside from the obvious coming to terms with all this, the happiness at seeing their lost ones alive again and the brief panic at having to relive this all over again, I bring you a new fix-it AU:
Star Crossed Lovers save the world, but several decades earlier and a whole lot more gay
Treech and Reaper have their reunion and decide it's obvious what they're here to do: Save all the tributes (and unbeknownst to them the whole of Panem). They bring their partners into this and a few other tributes overhear and join. While they briefly discuss escaping, it quickly becomes clear there are simply too many things that could go wrong and too many factors out of their control for it to be viable. Such a large group of kids simply doesn't have the luck for any plan to succeed, and while they'd usually try it anyway... They have a better idea. After all, they have a massive trump card in the knowledge of what this all is about. These games are supposed to be entertaining, and they're a way for the Capitol to convince itself that its better than the districts. Well what better way to shake that up than to play out a love story and make people sympathise with them?
So the two lay the ground works for their "growing romance" so it doesn't feel out of the blue while Lucy Gray steals hearts in the zoo. When Brandy is about to attack Arachne, Treech calls out to her and gives her half of the loaf of bread he just got from juggling, ignoring the Capitol visitors' eyes on him as he gives Arachne a look somewhere between disappointed and disturbed. Then he looks at the rest of his food and sighs slightly before giving it to the tributes that need it the most. That evening they bring the other tributes into it and explain the big events that will definitely happen despite their interference with the timeline. The interviews, the bombing, and the Plinth Prize motivation for the mentors. Oh also Sejanus being trustworthy. They decide to try and show their mentors that the districts are people too in hopes of planting a seed of doubt large enough to get them out of the games in the long run because they're smart enough to realize they don't have actual power here. Just the ability to try and influence those who do. Now, Treech was very uncharitable to Vipsania in the last timeline for very valid reason, but he's had a while to come to terms with it and those minutes (maybe even hours, he's not sure. It's a blur) after Reaper's death gave him some perspective in hindsight. She wasn't great, but a part of her did care. Besides, reliving that week before the games reminded him that it isn't her fault. She was indoctrinated and raised to believe what she did, so while he can hate her for how she treated him he can't exactly fault her. Besides, she did send that drone that saved him from rabbid Reaper's attack in the last few minutes of the actual games. This time, he'll just be a little nicer from the start and see if anything changes or not. Reaper also gives Clemensia a chance, though he still doesn't say much to her and dislikes her. All the other tributes do their best to not be too harsh, but they haven't been through this already so it's a lot more difficult for them.
This set of dominoes wildly impacts the rest of the timeline. For one, Treech giving his food to Brandy made him even more popular than he was originally in the rankings, and it happened far earlier than before too. This means there's a lot more attention on him than last time, which is great because that means his little romance arc with Reaper will be far more known-about. Vipsania is satisfied with this until the first interview between tributes and mentors. She's pleased he knows how to use an ax but when she tells him not to help the "competition" anymore since he's already got the attention he gets upset with her because they deserve kindness and he won't add to their misery. This throws Vipsania for a loop because it destroys everything she's ever thought about the districts. He refuses to answer the questionaire at first but then they properly get talking and oh no he's wormed his way into her heart while being clearly upset with her. Now what? How can she fix this? Clemensia has a similar experience, receiving very little from Reaper at first but inevitably reaching the conclusion that he's a kid who doesn't wanna hurt people and he's right to distrust her. They talk to the other mentors and this means all mentors start paying attention to their tributes, realizing they're just kids and starting to care for them. Naturally this ends up causing a conflict because they all wanna save their tribute but that means the others have to die and they can see that that would emotionally destroy their friends.
They talk to non-mentor students about it too and from there it just starts to spread. Vipsania and Clemensia are particularly worried about the Treaper arc happening, but the two lovebirds continue because they know through the grapevine (people talking outside the enclosure) that they're front page news. They succesfully help avoid casualties during the bombing, saving their mentors from death in the process and causing the two mentors to care even more deeply about them. So much so that they and the other mentors who were saved by their tributes (like Apollo and Diana) talk about it to the news. More front page news!! Gaul is ripping her hair out.
During the interviews, the two steal hearts with their cute love story and then break hearts when Treech starts crying at the mention of the games. just before the end of the interview, Lucky asks Treech how he plans on killing Reaper, since he'll have to if he wants to win, and Treech has been perfectly composed, cheerful and friendly and charming throughout the entire interview but... He still remembers waving away the warning signs just to spend more time with the boy he wasn't allowed to love. He remembers falling down the beams and running through the tunnels, hiding in the booth and tumbling down from the stands. Worse, he remembers Reaper's confused cries, the blade, the blood soaking through his pants and that all-consuming cold spreading through his body. And he knows he has to answer, he knows he has to keep up his charming stage persona and make people love him but for just a moment he can feel the rapidly cooling blood on his hands again, drenching them. No matter how hard he tries, Treech can't stop the tears from falling as he chokes on his words, trying in vain to form sentences before giving up and sobbing brokenly into his hands. Reaper tries to charge onto the stage to comfort him but the peacekeepers stop him. Once Treech is led off-stage and close enough Reaper wraps his boyfriend into a hug and comforts him as best he can. When it's his turn and Lucky asks the same question he asked Treech, Reaper doesn't cry. No, he remains completely calm as he bluntly states he won't.
"Oh? But a confrontation is very possible. What do you plan to do if it's just the two of you left standing?"
"Easy." Reaper said. "I'll kill myself."
Despite not being near a microphone, Treech screams out loud enough for everyone to be able to hear his heartwrenching "No!" from where he's seated with Lamina. Lucky decides to push Reaper and tells him he's being irrational, but the boy is unimpressed and coldly states he'd rather let the Capitol torture him to death than be the reason Treech's family gets him back in a coffin. Lucky tells the audience they'll have to wait and see how true that statement is and they move on to the next interview. When the games come, the tributes are all scared but determined. They've already decided they'll refuse to attack one another, but it's still a very scary situation for all of them. For the first time, they'll be plunged into entirely unknown territory. Until that point they had a general idea of what would happen, but they're gonna interfere with the games so much by not fighting that there's no way to know what will happen. Treech and Reaper make sure to warn everyone that if a big black box comes down from the sky they have to get off the ground or into the tunnels because there will be snakes in it and they won't be friendly. Reaper and Treech continue their little romance to the point of actually staying together by the time day five rolls around. The day they originally spent together, all alone in an empty arena until that fateful last fight. Reaper has to hold his boyfriend through his memories and fears of what's to come.
Meanwhile, all the other tributes also interact with each other hesitantly, trading food and water and stories or even just a small acknowledgement before moving on. At the end of day 5, just as the sun starts to set, the tank drops. Thanks to Treech and Reaper's warning the snakes can't reach any of the tributes, but they do have an effect. Not inside the arena, but outside. The utter lack of deaths has caused the Capitol to implode with debate over the games, and Gaul dropping the tank to "remind these rebel scum of their place" seals the deal. For 10 years they've allowed themselves to believe these kids were killing each other, but Gaul proved that the only thing killing the kids in there is the Capitol. The backlash towards the government becomes so massive and the pressure from the mentors and their allies so great that the Capitol is forced to end the games and get the kids out. When this is broadcast over the speakers in the arena during golden hour, the camera focuses on Reaper and Treech on top of the beams as they stare at each other lovingly before finally kissing.
#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#the hunger games#10th hunger games#hunger games#treech#treech tbosas#tbosas treech#treech thg#fix it au#reaper ash#tbosas reaper#reaper tbosas#vipsania sickle#clemensia dovecote#tbosas mentors#the tributes deserved better#fuck gaul#brandy tbosas#arachne crane#star crossed lovers#anon ask#anon <3#treaper
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my spoiler-free review of RHRH, a neutral-to-negative take
most important point: I had fun at the ghovie
there are not plot spoilers below, but if you want to go in totally totally blind, don't read below the cut!
important note: I don't care for the Chapters. I don't watch them, they're not my kind of humour. I was curious to see how Tobias would spin the ghovie - most people aren't aware of the Chapters or of the entirety of the backstory, and most people won't care about that stuff. my biggest question going in was how is Tobias going to make the die hard fans happy AND make this an accessible experience for the more casual fan?
spoiler alert: in my opinion, he didn't! the Guardian review is evidence of this, though its tone is typically pissy. RHRN is weighted towards the big-time ghestie.
there was a brief attempt at the beginning to explain the legacy of the Emeritus family, but it outright states that Nihil was "the first one," which ("my father's father's father-") isn't the case. oversimplication for the sake of runtime, sure, fine, but I have OCD and this stuff bugs me.
as a concert film, RHRN fails for me. eyeing the runtime and my knowledge of shows, I figured RHRN would start with 25ish minutes of silly Chapter skit stuff, then 2 hours of ritual. I assumed this order would be good for physical/streaming sales - if you put all the stuff nobody but the die-hards care about in the beginning, it's easily skippable. nope! the chapter/skit stuff is throughout the film, breaking the immersion of the concert experience.
I use Green Day's Bullet in a Bible as a measuring stick for this sort of thing: watching Bullet in a Bible does feel like seeing an enhanced experience of a Green Day show. watching Nirvana on MTV Unplugged feels like (I imagine - I was a toddler at the time) seeing Nirvana play live. hell, watching Riding in Vans with Boys feels like seeing blink-182 live. I want a concert film to give me a better angle of the show itself than I could ever possibly see live, plus some behind the scenes stuff. I don't feel like RHRN provides a good ritual experience. one thing I personally think about a lot in this fandom is the multimodality - we can't all afford to go to a ritual, especially as Ghost plays huger and huger arenas. if you were hoping RHRN would be like a recorded ritual, it is not. this feels like a big missed opportunity to me.
the sound mixing is not what I would expect from a film like this. I saw RHRN in a theater where I also saw Dune II and a few Star Wars. I literally had a headache leaving Dune bc it was too loud. but RHRN was too quiet. there is no sense of "wall of sound" in the recording, which fucking sucks; this is a mixing/editing issue. every time I turn on American Idiot or Bullet in a Bible, my ears get blown clean off. hell, every time I turn on Impera, my ears get blown off. this is possible! it just wasn't done here.
the film editing is erratic. shots were sort of stapled together - one moment it would be a Dewdrop solo and then two seconds later he was somewhere else on stage entirely, or ghouls had moved around behind him in a way that broke my flow. for a stage show as choreographed as Ghost's, this seems weird at best. I'm willing to concede that I have OCD and stuff like this might bother me way more than it bothers you... but I heard murmurings of similar opinions as we all left the theater.
the camera doesn’t linger on an individual Ghoul or Papa as long as it should. the distribution of Ghoul time on screen is also... odd? Dewdrop takes center stage, with Phantom/Aeon a close second. Mountain lovers got great food. there was.... okay? Cumulus content. I felt a distinct lack of Cirrus, Aurora and Swiss. we were denied any shimmies!!! as we were leaving I heard someone say "I starved." there was not enough swiggity swooty.
the erratic editing also means you really can't focus on your fave ghoul, because the close-ups keep moving around. Dewdrop hand lovers, you will eat. Rain only gets a big-deal closeup during "Con Clavi," which is to be expected but is also a bummer. we do get the classic Dew pissy pick throw, a middle finger, and a flash of YouSuck, but the ghoul on ghoul interaction isn't really present in the film. each ghoul felt isolated to me; the interaction is what I love at a Ghost show.
the crowd shots are gorgeous but are also inauthentic to my experience as a Ghost fan - lot of really conventionally pretty gender conforming white women in the audience. "it's hollywood, blah blah-" shut up. the experience of looking around my theater at all the beautiful true humanity was way more fun than the crowd I saw on screen. any Ghost show I've ever gone to has literally every possible segment of humanity in it. SHOW ME THE QUEERDOS TOBIAS. WE PAY YOUR MORTGAGE. there *is* one person in makeup and braces who I loved, and there's one long shot of a face literally just like :O during I think Cirice? which, mood.
credit where it's due: there is a truly cool effect where Häxan (1922) is showing interspersed/on top of the band playing "Year Zero." this ruled. it felt like it took editing hints from Bram Stoker's Dracula, the movie of all time for me. "Twenties" ruled. "If You Have Ghosts" was fucking haunting - that (opera?) singer was incredible. wished I saw her name!! cello ghoulettes 100/10. skeleton dancers 1000/10. they put their whole pussies into it. there are a ton of waving Plushias and Popias and they all look as off-brand as possible, which is great.
tl;dr. RHRN fails as a concert movie for me, but going to get my little popcorn bucket and sippy cup, and picking an outfit, and seeing all the ghesties in our finery at the theater was fun!!! the air in the theater felt like the air before a ritual. hearing people giggle at the jokes, even jokes that didn't land for me, was fun. hearing the reaction to the plot stuff was fun. if you are a casual Ghost enjoyer, I don't recommend seeing the movie - but if you hate the Chapters but like Ghost, I don't think the chapter parts will be too much/too prevalent for you to enjoy it. try to go when the theater is full, so you can get the best experience possible.
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Hitotsume-sama ramble (& a bit rant) I am NOT normal about this guy.. putting it in read more bc I don't want you guys be blasted with this one LOLL
I could ramble so long about the intricacies of Mah's hitotsume as well as in comparison how the other artists working with eve handled him.. how I often feel like they don't really portray it as well as Mah does (which makes sense considering Mah was the one who created hitotsume,,)
You could say Hitotsume is a paradox, from a glance he has the silhouette of a tall hatted man.. but on a closer look he only has one eye and certainly no human head or hands, he appears in the corner of your eyes as some sort of onlooker... already, he's terrifying in concept.
Yet don't let hito's looks deceive you of the abundant of whimsy-ness he has!!! he can dance and pose CUTELY, his refined outfit is not for naught! Truly possessing a gentleman disposition, little snippets of giving kindness towards others.. as well as doing mundane things with no problem...
The brief moment of comfort in the unfamiliarity is quickly pulled away again, as hito here is prone to putting his damn eye close to the screen. He too, seems to have a knack of pulling morbid tricks !? for instance he cracked a person's head, filling it with all sorts of books, while his fellow smaller zingai friends danced.. (such a surreal scene in itself, I really love Mah's work) these however does not seem to actually scar the poor lad.. as if everything was all but a nightmare
For this reason hitotsume reminds me a lot about ghosts at it's core.. (funny considering his name possibly came from the yokai hitotsume-kozo) they are mischievous but not overly malicious, it was all scary for sure! later it would kinda just felt silly? spine-chilling? to think back on, you'd go about with your day thinking of that strange encounter you will never learn or to see more of for the rest of you life. Never making sense of the intentions and felt right when you think it's just more of the instinct of the hat man (I write this in experience of my own ghost encounters) which also seems to be in line of the adam by eve movie's ending
Hitotsume is near unpredictable, the moment you'd think he'd be scary he's sitting kinda... fruity-ish.. and when you think the other way... he decided to chill in a hallway and accidentally(?) spooking a person. I think its good to note that hitotsume never seem to make himself look intimidating on purpose.. in fact he often seem to be enjoyed or amused... happily dancing along or bopping his head. The "intimidating" part really just comes to how people regard towards his "eerie" appearance, the overall mysterious demeanor, hard to read face (therefore emotions too) and especially unknown origins... but when you're a fan of one-eye characters it all becomes too endearing its sickening!!! Grown ass zingai
I have always been fond of strange humanoids, it's easy for them to become my favorite,, but God.. it's really really bad when people use them as an excuse to portray shit freak stuff that doesn't feel like it came from a nonsensical creature... and more of the artist's own intentions from a bad place. Not only that, it also feeds to the idea of strange look + behavior = bad (not talking in a moral sense)
there are sooo many ways you can portray/show that a being is weird, unpredictable, and invokes fear without needing to go into such an awfully uncomfortable territory while still make it intriguing.. this is often the case when hitotsume is drawn on the hands of some peculiar artists, even ones who worked with eve... in some aspects, it's more of how it was drawn than the idea itself...
I'm sooo late to talk about this one. ever since the eve movie came out, I have always felt uncomfortable about the bouto/mob mv (which. is why I make my own derivative story!! only really keeping the malewife hitotsume, whom adopted a kid that hates him and a cat that also hates him since it's so silly LOL.... everything else Fucking sucks though)
Using hitotsume and a citizen (that looks similar to him) to criticize society objectifying humans while also having a pretty SHITTY approach to it is... Oh.... that's gore of my comfort character dude.... the biggest tragedy that it was directed by someone I do not like for their works.... most heartbreaking thing ever
#my bbg hitotsume-sama stuck in a world filled with anime boys mc#its a tough world out here#rambling is in a mess sourryy.. writing in english is difficult#💭...#hitotsume sama
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How about an Au where kerrigan doesn't get kidnapped in new gettysburg by the Zerg but somehow gets a connection with the overmind and is human up until the end of Broodwar.
(thanks so much for playing along with my silliness)
ALRIGHT SO FIRST OFF-
There's two fucking directions we can go with this: what would Blizzard write, and what would I write. this is actually a dichotomy I find myself looking at sometimes, usually when it comes to the reasoning behind certain character choices. (for example: Blizzard's explanation for Izsha is probs something like "the campaign would be boring if Kerrigan had no one to talk to", but *my* explanation is a deranged rant about Kerrigan's lingering humanity)
SO let's go over both possibilities. fuck it. It's 11pm and I'm finally ready to explore the spicy idea you've presented to me.
Blizzard Version
Blizzard has a comic booky attitude when it comes to writing, I've noticed. Not always, but enough times to be notable. which is to say, I don't think they're gonna get bogged down with details like "what the fuck does she eat on an abandoned space platform" and will be more focused in making her look like a badass for surviving the full might of the Swarm.
first: how does she connect to the Overmind? such a feat of tapping into an alien hivemind is in and of itself a moment of badassery, and Blizzard will probably want this Overmind connection to be the very thing that saves her. which makes this tricky, bcs, as I pointed out, you'd think it'd telegraph her presence to the zerg.
you'd think.
but what if it didn't.
what if she had figured out a way to slip her mind in, used her telepathy to 'listen in' on the psionic communications of the Swarm, and then, could covertly send untraceable thoughts along the same frequency. and she initially uses this to misdirect the zerg, give false orders.
then she begins outright commanding them in this way.
then the cerebrates notice. and call out to her.
this would be the new Zerg campaign tutorial. instead of escorting the chrysalis, you're discovering and unraveling the hidden rogue element that seems capable of communicating with you directly. and bcs Blizzard did this in real life, I think they'd want to conceal Kerrigan's identity as this mysterious rogue element up until like mission 4, wherein she unveils her true identity to... Raynor. who's been dreaming about her. because just like in canon, she called out to him.
but before she leaves Char (don't ask how she got onto Char), the Overmind intercepts her with... an offer. idk lets say blizz planned the Amon shit from the beginning (It could go either way tbh like maybe they had this all planned out from the start maybe they didnt maybe something in between - whatever!), so okay the Overmind is looking for a free agent that can break the Zerg free of their master's control. this rogue element is a pain in the ass, but she's also an opportunity.
by this point, Kerrigan's learned a lot about the zerg. A lot of shit she's been keeping to herself (but you the player know she's learned this stuff - in the mission briefings, she's had extensive dialogues whenever she anonymously interjected herself into the communications. angry interjections. she'd been listening, and she's furious). But she knows they're not simply a mindless swarm. she knows the humans are ultimately just a step in a grand process. these aliens are actually hunting down the Protoss. they just need something to crack Aiur.
... and that's what the Overmind offers to her. The Zerg will leave these Terrans alone - no, they will aid her friend and wage war on the Dominion. So long as she helps them reach Aiur.
[Raynor voice] "alright Sarah, so we've gotta... Sarah? Sarah, where'd you go?"
and anyways the rest of the campaign has a human ghost making a deal with the devil more directly in order to fulfill her desperate need for revenge. in Brood War, she's commanding the zerg in basically the same way she does in the first half of HotS, but with the added bonus of every time people interact with her, she looks and sounds ever so slightly less human, as the zerg infection slowly seeps in...
...
... Aight, so what would I do?
My Version
let's make something clear: Kerrigan surviving New Gettysburg definitely does not mean she's out of the fucking woods. let us fucking remember she's "killed" because her evac is G O N E. She's on a fucking space platform being overrun by bugs attracted to the scent of her goddamn psionics she is so deeply and unequivocably screwed. if she manages to establish a psionic connection to the overmind? oh that's just worse: she's telegraphing her presence directly to the hive mind! She can't hide, she can't run, and she sure as fuck can't fight.
don't worry, I have a secret weapon: it's an absolutely deranged concept that I originally wrote for that fanfic I mention way too often on this blog. in fact I think I've mentioned this exact concept a few times.
you know, the one where I have decided that the Zerg can't infect a ghost nonconsensually?
"m'am what the fuck" hear me the fuck out: there was a short story. Now it's been a while since the wiki dive where I read the synopsis of that story, but if I recall correctly, the main character was a psionic human, who Kerrigan had tried to infect, and there was like some parallels drawing they did, and then like, it failed or some shit, like instead of being the super smart and fully psionic infected human like Kerrigan is, our tragic hero instead just became a zombie like every other infected terran. ... I think that's how it went? and the story didn't fully elaborate on why, but listen to me. listen.
y'all do realize the zerg hive mind operates on psionics right? that's why psionic disruptors fuck with them so hard. by the way, this is also why "de-zerged" Kerrigan is capable of commanding the zerg - it's not actually a unique biological feature, it's a specific psychic frequency that other species just haven't figured out how to access (and if they have, they're not recognized as sufficient authority to be making commands).
but like okay. it's psionics.
and in HotS, we see that zerg do in fact have a sort of individuality and are not in fact under constant direct mind control. it's just that the vast majority of zerg units have animal-level intellects and have the instinct to respect and defer to beings that communicate to them with sufficient psionic power... or maybe just the right psionic "passcode".
so... maybe that's why assimilating a psionic is so problematic. a psionic has better standing to resist assimilation. think of it like this: zerg react to projected power. to the zerg, and to any normal assimilated human, the commands of something like the overmind are speaking like. super fucking loud. like big booming voice.
but let's say you're a psionic. and you're pretty accustomed to that type of booming voice, because you can make it yourself. are you going to bow to this king when you're as strong as he is? I didn't think so.
so let's say this is true. the overmind cannot assimilate kerrigan until she agrees to it. at the same time, the overmind is like "alright but we sure as fuck shouldn't kill her bcs she's a really strong psionic (this is canon btw - kerrigan's an absurdly strong psionic. again, Blizzard is kinda comic booky sometimes), and I kinda want strong psionics, like when would i get this opportunity again? hrm... I'll just let her hang around this platform until she realizes joining us is a good idea."
so the overmind reaches out, tells her to surrender and join the zerg. Kerrigan, spooked out of her mind that something impossibly ancient is talking inside her head, says fuck no and shoots holes into a few more hydralisks. overmind's like. "okay. I can be patient. good luck."
and thus begins this intensely awkward prolonged period, where kerrigan tries her best to get off of here, while intimately aware of the fact that she's only alive because she's been *spared*. all the while, she's paying attention to the voice inside her head... and then she unlocks the 'frequency' of zerg communications.
then she figures out how to take advantage of it.
now we get into a scenario pretty similar to blizzard's version, wherein Kerrigan becomes this "rogue element" that the Overmind is tolerating, and who is still the key to them reaching Aiur, but this time her relationship to the Overmind is much more antagonistic. She's trying to take advantage of her connection to the zerg, not work with them. and the Overmind lets her "commandeer" even an entire brood (Zasz died and she said "oh cool can i have it"), because what Kerrigan doesn't realize is that the Overmind actually totally wants her to get used to commanding the Zerg.
after all, this is the destiny it laid out for her. She will become a fine queen, once she truly accepts her future...
by the point of Brood War, she's opened up to Raynor about her awkward relationship with the Zerg, and both of them are understandably worried. However, it seems like her power over them is useful, and nothing bad's happening... yet.
and then a diplomatic fiasco at Shakuras. that one protoss didn't trust her wisdom, and she lashed out.
her anger seems to grow as she brings the scattered zerg under her thrall. she realizes her body is changing... frankly, she's let the zerg infect her, bit by bit. she has nothing to fear from it, after all. The Overmind made it clear that, as a ghost, her will could not be subjugated, and now that the Overmind is dead, there's nothing for her will to be subjugated to, anyways... so why not use the zerg to improve her capabilities?
Raaynor has objections to this. and then he has objections when she betrays her former allies. he wonders when his friend turned into a monster... not realizing, of course,
nothing's changed in her at all.
she's just come to truly understand the unconditional loyalty of the Zerg. the respect they give her as their queen. the power they offer. the ability to exact vengeance on those who wronged her (and oh so many have wronged her).
Humanity's never really fit her, anyways.
#kerrigan#sarah kerrigan#starcraft#DERANGED THOUGHTS BELOW#this is horribly first draft and i bet if i made an actual fic about this i would be making several revisions but HERE#i liked this concept i liked it a lot thanks for giving it to me
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