#i could go SO much deeper
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago
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Master manipulator vs Master manipulator
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withthewindinherfootsteps · 1 month ago
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part One
For Xiantober Day One: Genius… albeit stretching the prompt so it refers to MXTX and MDZS itself, but at the end of the day it’s still about WWX – so no harm done!
(Part Two | Part Three | Full version on AO3)
The narrative is a very active player in MDZS’ story. How it presents information, what it chooses to show and omit, often reflects important facets of its themes and characters – Nie Huaisang, for instance, is so good at hiding behind his mask that not even the narrative can hold him accountable; the present day’s storyline as a murder mystery and the slow reveal of information about the past both prompt the reader to think critically about the truth of events, when the importance of thinking critically is an important theme; and the dangers not thinking critically (and instead basing conclusions on rumours without much evidence) are shown by tricking unquestioning readers into the very same trap the cultivation world falls into, as the information given by the title, summary and in-universe rumours – which contradicts how we see actually Wei Wuxian act – turns out to be false.
But nowhere do I love this trait more than in its treatment of Wei Wuxian – and, more specifically, in its way of emphasising his agency. We’re not just told how much his active choices define his character, and we’re not just shown this in-universe through his personality, worldview and the events he causes. I’d argue that this aspect goes a step further, and shapes the structure of the out-of-universe narrative as well.
There are two main ways this happens: one, in how the aspects of Wei Wuxian’s life that are shown and hidden directly tell us what’s important about his character (which is good writing but isn’t necessarily tied to this shaping of the narrative), which is what we’ll explore today; and two, how what’s shown and hidden reflects what Wei Wuxian himself prefers to dwell on, resulting in the narrative respecting his own thoughts and feelings on matters (which very much is tied to it). We’ll explore this at a later date.
But as for now – let’s explore my favourite aspect of MDZS.
(Here, narrative agency will be considered the ability of a character to meaningfully influence their events and the story they’re in.)
Tragedy, Circumstance, Choice
If we simply look at Wei Wuxian’s backstory in a vacuum, it seems almost typically tragic. His  parents died in circumstances beyond his control, he was left alone as a child with nobody to care for him, he was forced to grow up fending for himself on the streets, he was faced with abuse when he finally was taken in… as with all typical woobies, everything simply happened to him, and none of it was good. It’s just another example of the lack of agency being used for sympathy points, right?
…Except there’s one problem with that idea. We don’t actually see any of this.
It would’ve been easy to start the flashbacks during these times. We’re telling the story of Wei Wuxian in (largely) chronological order, and these are likely important experiences for him! But instead of starting in his street days, or evenat the moment Jiang Fengmian took him in*, we start at the lectures in the Cloud Recesses. That’s not even something mentioned in, and therefore something that’s able to disprove, the rumours at the start of the novel. So why is this the case? 
Well, there are multiple reasons – the main one being that MDZS is also Lan Wangji’s (and Wangxian’s) story, and having the flashbacks open with their first meeting is very satisfying. But I want to focus on something else.
This period doesn’t have to be shown, because what happens to Wei Wuxian, especially out of his control, isn’t what’s important about his character.
We’re not even at Lotus Pier here, where Wei Wuxian certainly has more agency than he would’ve had as a young child, but where the harm caused by Madame Yu is still completely out of his control. Here, he has agency! Though there are consequences, he is free to act, and what happens to him is a result of those actions and not of circumstance. Yes, he gets punished more than others who also take those same actions (due to classism); yes, it’s not his choice to be picked on by Lan Qiren in class (yet look how he responds, twisting the situation to his advantage and ending up tricking Lan Qiren into letting him leave, which is what he wanted to do. He is not at all helpless here!); yes, these choices have been influenced by his learned mindset from Madame Yu that punishment is arbitrary and will happen anyway, so you may as well do what you want regardless. But there is cause-and-effect here. It’s not circumstantial tragedy.
Therefore, instead of our first impression of past!Wei Wuxian being that of an unfortunate woobie, it’s of someone who has the freedom, ability and will to choose and act (and that’s after these initial tragic events have taken place). This is compounded by the fact that before we see any of his backstory, we get a similar impression of him in the present day.
If the purpose of his tragic past was to earn him sympathy points, to make us pity him due to how much he was influenced by events out of his control, this would’ve been a terrible way of going about it… and it’s this that betrays the true reason for its existence. Because now, the flashbacks instead show us how little these tragedies define who he is! From the very start, Wei Wuxian isn’t someone defined by circumstances out of his control, but rather by who he is as a person and by what choices he makes in the present day (which is both a mindset in-universe, and a nice little out-of-universe detail that lines up! Because out-of-universe, this means he’s not defined by sympathy points from a backstory, but rather by his great character writing… aka, by who he is as a person and what choices he makes). And this refusal to be defined by tragedy is a conscious choice on his part, too – but we’ll explore that more later. 
The important thing is that this idea of Wei Wuxian isn’t because of what exists in his past, it’s because of what parts of his past are shown to us (as well as what he chooses to do, with agency, in the present). 
Now, if this relationship between what’s displayed and what’s omitted was just a one-time thing, I might’ve considered it a cool detail or a nice way to establish a character, but not something the narrative is actively focusing on. But it’s a pattern that continues throughout the flashbacks. What, arguably, are the two other most important times in Wei Wuxian’s life where he doesn’t have enough agency to meaningfully influence his circumstances? His three months in the Burial Mounds (before escaping – he managed to assume some control of the circumstances but not enough to substantially reduce his suffering in his time there), and his loss and death during the First Siege. And we’re not shown either of them! We skip to when Wei Wuxian has emerged from the Burial Mounds and is torturing the Wens, or we skip to the present day – both times he has agency once more, because, again, what he’s like without it doesn’t matter enough to be shown. 
Furthermore, I’d argue this does actually contrast the other tragic events we see in Wei Wuxian’s later life. Things do go horribly wrong, but it’s either due to choices he knows the consequences of (see: rescuing the Wen Remnants in the first place), or instances where he still has some ability to act in the situation and influence it within the limitations. If he’d had no ability to influence circumstances at Qiongqi path, he would have died in the ambush; if he’d been unable to do that at Nightless City, he would’ve died then, too (of course Lan Wangji helped him escape as well). The attention drawn to him losing control of his actions in both instances is very interesting, but intentional or not, it’s still his actions influencing the plot. And that influence happens to be detrimental. The very ability to act and influence, at a base level,  is not taken away (though, of course, that doesn’t make these events any less tragic).
So, so far, the narrative seems to be telling us that the ability to act and choose is key to Wei Wuxian’s character. And it’s doing it through omitting his moments without agency in favour of instead showing us his moments with it. 
Let’s see if this is echoed in the text itself before we go further – because even with this pattern, nothing would end up mattering if Wei Wuxian’s agency wasn’t actually that important to the story itself. But thankfully it is, and that first impression we get of Wei Wuxian in the Cloud Recesses turns out to very much be accurate! Though there are defining circumstances out of his control that occur, such as the massacre of Lotus Pier, the majority of the important events of his life are due to his own choices. He didn’t happen to be forced to cease traditional cultivation and solely use guidao, didn’t happen to lose his Golden Core in a fight with Wen Zhuliu or due to some force in the Burial Mounds, it was his own choice to give it and his spiritual powers away. He didn’t tragically happen to get targeted by the cultivation world, it was a result of him acting on his morals and protecting the Wen remnants (a choice which he was fully aware of the implications of). He isn’t a protagonist to whom things simply occur, and that activeness and agency is my favourite thing about him. 
That’s not to say that the times Wei Wuxian doesn’t have agency, or feels like he doesn’t have any, don’t exist at all, either – but they are rare enough to have attention directly drawn to them in his internal narration:
Or else what could he do? He could do nothing. He was powerless. Lotus Pier had been destroyed, both Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu were gone, and Jiang Cheng had disappeared as well. He was the only one left, alone, with not even a sword in his hands. He didn’t know anything, he couldn’t do anything! For the first time, he discovered how little his power was. In front of something as large as the QishanWen Sect, it was the same as a mantis trying to stop a chariot. - Chapter 59, EXR translation
(And even in this circumstance, note that he still does force himself to act – to carry on searching for Jiang Cheng, to place his faith in Wen Ning – and does accomplish his goal (albeit with the help of others)! So even in dire situations, he isn’t simply passive. This is actually also the case with his time in the Burial Mounds, almost certainly the First Siege, and even his days on the streets as well (Chapter 20: he did actively fight with dogs to get food despite their danger and his growing fear of them, rather than just waiting and hoping to somehow receive some more). He can’t influence or immediately influence his circumstances, but that doesn’t stop him from trying.)
Overall, although they do influence him, Wei Wuxian is very much who he is in spite of his circumstances, not because of them. We’re shown the importance of his agency both in-universe by the major impacts his choices have on himself and the plot, as well as by narrative presentation – important periods where he lacks the ability to meaningfully influence anything are often mentioned but not directly shown, which suggests that such moments and circumstances aren’t as important to understanding Wei Wuxian’s character as moments where he does have this agency are. And I’d argue this works very well. Depending on the version of the story you consume, you may end up having different interpretations as to how much circumstances were at play nearer the end of his life – but nobody comes out of MDZS thinking about Wei Wuxian, the poor bearer of yet another generically tragic backstory.
(Part Two | Part Three | Full version on AO3)
*We are shown this moment in more detail in Chapter 23… but even then, it’s through the framing of Wei Wuxian remembering Jiang Yanli’s narration, not through a flashback proper or even him remembering the experience itself!
#there are three parts to this#part two dwelling on how wwx not dwelling on tragedy is a conscious choice#part three about how that choice and wwx’s preferences are ALSO behind what’s shown and what’s not#i originally wanted to post them all at once but life was very busy and they haven’t been finished yet#and i wanted to release SOMETHING on this day (it is after midnight but i haven’t slept yet and in a lot of timezones it’s not yet)#judging by the current length of it it’s probably better to be posting individual parts anyway…#so here we go#a complete version will br put on ao3 when done#also because i’m not sure where to put it in the meta – i’m aware external circumstances did impact this too#eg mxtx not wanting to write power-up/transformation sequences influencing her not to write wwx’s time in the burial mounds#i’m also aware a lot of this could be writing efficiency and not the deeper meanings i’ll (mostly later) assign to it#ultimately there’s not enough evidence either way to say if this was intentional or not#(i don’t doubt mxtx is an amazing writer but *i* feel i’m overanalysing while writing this which i do tend to do)#but even if it wasn’t it’s still a part of the story#and it still remains one of the things i love it the most#so i WILL explore it (taking the approach of death of the author here – i do believe context is important but i just love this throughline-#-so much)#xiantober#xiantober day 1#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#wwx#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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mephoj · 3 months ago
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nickel and balloon would be so much more interesting if people explored the way nickel became everything awful that balloon used to be but so much worse ironically all in the name of "protecting" everyone from that history repeating. and not softboy tsundere yaoi or whatever is going on in those tags rn
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starry-bi-sky · 10 months ago
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ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.
RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.
(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)
(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")
Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.
and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,
and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!
i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.
Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.
And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.
And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.
there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.
and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.
Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.
and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.
Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.
Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.
Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.
Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#cfau#childhood friends au#danny and jason are such best friends i love them so much#BUT YEAH ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT CFAU I'LL SCREAM#AND THEN TRY AND ANSWER THEM TO MY BEST ABILITY#like i could go on RANTS almost SPECIFICALLY about rath (dan) and then about jason and danny#and their friendship like i've thought about this au with a combined soulmate au and immediately hated the idea because no!#no! i can't call them soulmates. i can't it doesnt fit. their bond goes DEEPER than that. its *better* than that#this wasn't written in the stars it was forged in the back alley streets of gotham with all the broken glass under their feet#and the smell of nicotine weaving itself into the fabrics of their shirts. their souls aren't intertwined because the universe said so#they're two balls of yarn tangled together because they batted it at each other and decided to play cats cradle. and then never bothered#to untangle the string from one another. you'll never know where one ends and the other begins#i actually have a cfau miscellaneous facts post in my drafts that i need to finish too and i might do that today because of this ask <33#the fastest way to starry's heart is through her ask box#asking me questions about my aus is the fastest way to make me make more content about them ajshld#see: clone^2 (i've been coasting off the fanart i got from them for the last two days) and now this#i need to stop more before i start waxing more poetic about jason and danny's bond with one another.#also also jason is equally as feral about danny as danny is about him (see: him plotting joker's demise since he was 14) its just not#showing as much since a lot of this is from danny's pov. like dw this isn't one-sided obsession its mutual.#see: jason seeing danny's scars and immediately wanting to find out who caused it and getting murderously angry about it#its not a starry post unless its long#idk maybe im just obsessed with the idea that relationships are chosen and forged with time and that the bonds we have arent because they#were predetermined but because we made them to be. Like how clone^2 said 'i choose to be brothers' and how danny and jason said#'i choose you. i will always choose you. you're my other half. the one who watches my back. i choose you.'
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chirpsythismorning · 7 months ago
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S5 opener REAL
#byler#will byers#stranger things#every season besides s4-5 opens with non main characters#for el we got a flashback of the lab followed by her perspective in the scene directly after#and I think for Will we will see something similar#with us getting the flashback of him in castle byers in the UD#followed by him in the present in the scene after#but what exactly would warrant that memory being brought up in association with Will in the present?#mayhaps his connection to the mindflayer and the UD run deeper than we realize…#it’s likely not something he could just rid himself of in s2 and now he’s all good#he literally still feels a connection to everything he is feeling#that means he is still technically at risk of being the spy in some capacity#the massacre at Hawkins lab also was a guiding force for El discovering the ‘truth’ in s4#so it’s likely for Will this instance will operate in a way that re-contextualizes the events in the past up to now#like that time Will suggested they go to the hospital in s3 only for the flayed to be waiting for them#or how flayed Billy knew they were at the cabin…#all while Will was looking cryptic as hell in that scene watching over el#or the fact that he picked Billy in the first place the season after he focused on Will…#you know.. williams#I think the easiest way to introduce the castle Byers flashback is a dream honestly#specifically a dream within a dream#seeing that recent leak and Will looking like either he has a black or hasn’t slept in days#is giving very much ‘I am afraid to sleep bc I’m scared of what will happen’#I think dude is not exactly possessed in the sense that we already saw in s2 with like the particicles#but he’s still vulnerable#the door is still ajar…#no but fr this idea of opening a door in your mind was so blatant in st2 AND s3b of teen wolf#I think a big part of it will be guilting Will over the fact that Will has helped him before without Will telling the others#hence his weird vibe in s3… like he’s already successfully fucked with Will post s2 potentially with us being none the wiser aka here we go
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justarandomhelluvablog · 9 months ago
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sorry sorry last time I'm talking about huskerdust tonight but does it fuck anyone else up knowing that Husk and Angel basically lived at the same time but were on opposite sides of the country. But also Husk went traveling. Like these two could have met while they were alive and wouldn't even know it. They didn't even know the other existed until they met at the hotel
Like I have. so many thoughts about this.
#hazbin hotel#Husk#Angel Dust#gods imagine how different things would have turned out for both of them if they'd met while alive#well I say that but they were deeper in their vices then than they are now so...... maybe they'd have made each other worse#or maybe they could have saved each other who knows#also just thinking about the idea of Husk and Angel meeting at a bar in New York back when they were alive#like not even knowing it was each other but having met and spent a night drinking in a bar together talking#maybe Angel was going around flirting for free drinks and Husk was waiting to board a ship to who knows where#and they're both neck deep in their own vices but Husk tries to give Angel some advice anyway (we dk if Husk's morals developed in Hell#when he lost his status or are remnants of his human life but I like to imagine he was a decent man who made a string of bad choices#we also don't know what kind of Overlord he was. for all we know the worst thing he did was bet souls so we dunno if he was cruel/immoral)#but Angel not heeding his advice bc who's gonna listen to an alcoholic amirite but he was fun to talk to and bought him drinks so#and them parting ways without even so much as learning the other's name. and all this happening just days before Angel dies#Husk doesn't even think about him again cuz he was just some dude at a bar and barely remembering bc it was ~20 years before he died#but Angel vividly remembering it bc it was one of the last memorable days leading up to his death#anyway thanks for listening to me ramble orz
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ruporas · 1 year ago
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hello hello! I hope you don't mind me dropping by but I just want to say I love your art so much, the way you draw vashwood is just so sweet and tender but can I just ramble about the way you draw Vash especially? More specifically, the way you draw his expressions when he's looking at Wolfwood???
I just LOVE the way you draw Vash's expression because the way you make him look at Wolfwood is so soft 😭😭😭. There's just something about it that's so tender, like whenever I look at Vash's expressions in your art I just think "that is genuinely someone who loves another person with all their heart" and it just mends and breaks my heart at once, you capture Vash's love for Wolfwood in ways I can't explain 👏
It's unbridled love mixed with the fear of hurting Wolfwood in their relationship. It's wanting to spill so much affection but holding back in fear of messing up. He looks at Wolfwood like he's longing for him so earnestly be it pre-relationship or even when they're already dating it's just so??? 💕💕💘💞💖💖💞💕
There's just something so tender and heart wrenching at the way Vash looks at Wolfwood in your art, it gets me really emotional and I hope you have a lovely day/night for real <33!!!
ouuuuu thank you so so much for your kind words and for taking the time to tell me this T_T !!! i'm glad my expressions for vash's longing gazes at wolfwood is well done enough to have this sort of response to it…
he's the kind of person that has to hold back in both words and touch when it comes to love, when it comes to wolfwood, but i think it's a difficult emotion to restrain, especially when wolfwood is kind enough to let it be.
ultimately, what they're allowed to have is the inevitable shared spaces during their travels, it's the other's physical presence, being next to wolfwood, being able to take him in through the way he simply exists. smelling smoke, seeing smoke, seeing the cigarette between his fingers, seeing the crosses littered across his person, the rosary snug around his neck, his scruff at his chin, messy bangs, messy hair, tired eyes, the canine that peeks when he speaks, and a voice carrying heavy words, but honest, and kind, and one vash could never get tired of hearing, like how he'd never be tired of just looking at wolfwood.
it's of gratitude, it's of sorrow, it's of grief, it's of love, praise, adoration, it's desperate and it's full of yearning. at first, it's a gaze he feels he has to be satisfied with until he's learned that he's allowed for more and at that point, when wolfwood has given him so much, how could he look at him in any other way?
in any case, i def like to make it known and parade around vash's deeeeeep deep deep feelings of love towards wolfwood, so i'm very happy to know i can express that clearly through his expression alone. i Also just love wolfwood so maybe the projection goes from the heart of the artist to the heart of the art.
i ended up collecting a few caps of his expressions just out of curiosity for myself :3 i have much to improve still, i'll keep on drawing vash's loving self until i can get the ultimate loving expression down!!
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smilecult · 6 months ago
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random thought I had about npmd
I’ve had this thought that no one else had talked about. So, we all know how max died. But I realized that when he fell he was in the same spot Pete had been when he jumped out to scare max. So I was thinking, and came up with a great fic idea! What if Pete fell instead of max? Would he come back? If so I think he’d come back in a similar way to max, except I think he would try to kill Grace since it was her plan. If anyone writes a fic about this pls tell me!!
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luxeberries · 2 years ago
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now on ao3
One day, in mid August of ‘85, Dustin shows up at Steve’s front door, completely unannounced. It’s the middle of the night and Steve has half the mind to reprimand Dustin about curfew and biking alone in the dark. But when his vision finally focuses on Dustin’s expression, Steve sees panic in his eyes; fear. At first, his heart plummets and he thinks not again, not so soon. But then Dustin says-
“I killed that guy. Didn’t I?”
And every other thought in Steve’s mind crumbles like ash. 
“The Russian,” Dustin clarifies in Steve’s silence. “The doctor.” 
Steve remembers. 
Bald, round glasses. 
Stale coffee breath. 
Pliers pulling his nail. 
He can’t speak, throat closing up. 
Dustin keeps talking, rambling like Robin does when she’s panicked. “They used those cattle prods to stun demogorgons, Steve. Do you have any idea how many volts that thing held? He- He fell, like-”
“Dustin,” Steve says - rasps it out because his throat is dry but he needs to stop Dustin’s spiral. 
Rendered silent, Dustin looks up at Steve with wide, glistening eyes. He’s expecting an answer, but Steve doesn’t have one. He can’t think beyond the sight of Dustin standing before him in a matching pajama set and untied shoes, like he didn’t have the time or mind to fasten them up because he was in too much of a rush to come here. To seek out Steve, in the middle of the night. Steve, who should be able to help because that’s his job; he’s the protector, the older brother Dustin can come to for comfort. 
Except that Steve was woken with a start just five minutes ago when Dustin started pounding on his front door and he thought it was the Russians coming back for him, his mind still half lost to the nightmare he was having; all blood and bone saws and Robin’s screams. Part of him is itching to call her, like maybe she somehow died back there and Steve has been imagining her this whole time and he just needs to hear her mom answer the phone and say, ‘Yeah, she’s right here, honey’. 
But he remembers Dustin charging in, remembers watching him strike the doctor right in the chest and how he fell to the ground, limp, and didn’t get back up. Knows that everyone is safe, no matter what his brain tries to tell him. Robin and Erica are sleeping in their beds, and Dustin is standing on his front door step, bike discarded on the ground next to the Bimmer. 
Steve takes a deep breath and says, “Get in here.” 
He ushers Dustin in with a hand on the back of his neck, locking the door behind them, and heads to the living room. Dustin just keeps looking at him, like Steve has all the answers. Like Steve can make it all better. Can say the voltage wouldn’t have killed him, as if the possibility that he’s still out there wouldn’t send himself into a panic attack. 
“Steve,” Dustin says, and it sounds like a plea; the way his voice lisps, wet and small. 
He’s only thirteen.
“I killed a person,” Dustin says. 
And Steve gets it, sort of. It doesn’t matter that the person Dustin killed was evil and cruel, just like it didn’t matter that Billy Hargrove was about to kill Lucas when Steve stepped in between them. He still didn’t want to hurt someone. Each punch felt like too much, like if he punched any harder, he’d do some serious damage. And Billy would have deserved it - as horrible as it feels to think that after his sacrifice - but Steve didn’t want to be the one to do it. That’s not who he is. He’s a protector, not a fighter. Not a killer. That breaks something in a person, as is made clear by the crack in Dustin’s voice. It took something from him. The little bit of innocence Dustin had left. 
“Yeah,” Steve says, quiet and almost apologetic. “You did.” 
Dustin’s face falls, as if he really did want Steve to say otherwise. But avoiding the truth won’t help anything. 
“But- But you saved me, okay?” he says, like he’s asking if that truth is enough.
Dustin’s eyes flash with something Steve can’t identify. 
“Me and Robin,” Steve continues. “You saved us. If you hadn’t done what you did- What you had to do…”
His nightmares have answered that hypothetical too well. 
He shakes it off, puts his hand on Dustin’s shoulder instead.
“You saved us. You did good, Dustin. Okay? That’s what’s important here.” 
Dustin's face crumples and before Steve can blink, he’s got an armful of the kid. He’s still bruised, ribs only just recovering from the break, and it hurts. But he wraps Dustin up in his arms and lets him cry into his shoulder, wetting the thin fabric through. 
"Hey, it's okay," Steve soothes, voice low. "You're okay. I've got you, buddy."
He’s not coddling him or trying to get him to stop crying- he just talks so Dustin knows he’s there. Tells him how grateful he is for Dustin taking care of him and Robin when they were messed up, for being so brave when he busted into that room. He talks until Dustin is quiet against him, left with his arms wrapped around Steve’s waist and his face pressed into Steve’s shoulder. He doesn’t move for a while, but Steve doesn’t mind - just rubs his back and rests his cheek against his curls. 
“Your mom know you’re here?” he asks softly. 
Dustin shakes his head. 
“You wanna stay here tonight?” 
Dustin nods. 
Steve checks his watch over Dustin’s shoulder. It’s almost midnight. He sighs. 
“Remind me to send her flowers or something as an apology for waking her up right now,” Steve says, light-hearted, trying to make Dustin laugh.
But Dustin just sniffles, guilty. “Sorry.”
“Hey, no. It’s fine. Take your shoes off and head on upstairs, yeah? I’ll call your mom and tell her you’re with me.” 
Dustin pulls back, wipes his wet nose with his sleeve and Steve tries not to cringe. 
“Thanks, Steve.”
It’s not entirely selfless, calling Dustin’s mom. If he calls Mrs Henderson, he can call Robin right after without Dustin knowing. He has a feeling she’ll be awake at this time too anyway. He thinks he might call the Sinclairs as well, wants to make sure Erica is okay. 
And as long as Dustin stays the night, Steve knows that at least he’s safe, spread out right beside him, taking up the whole bed. Can make sure Dustin sleeps through the night, can be there if he has a nightmare that his mom wouldn’t be able to calm him down from. 
Steve ruffles Dustin’s hair, smiling at how he pushes into it like a cat. “It’s no problem.”
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bookishjules · 5 months ago
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Hi hi!!!! I saw your sizzy HCs and I would love it if you did TMI gang HCs for the future when they have kids and all💗 How do they all interact with their kids/each other’s kids? That ask about Jace’s kids made me laugh I feel like his kids would have a jar for him to put money in whenever he’s too cocky, kinda like New Girl with Schmidt
simon and izzy are the go-to babysitter couple of the bunch for sure, given that they aren't running an institute or, you know, the entire clave. they're also the most likely to have a movie or game night, which the kids absolutely love
because the cousins span over a decade in ages, there seems to always be a baby to hold, and clary is always the first one to reach for them (followed by alec)
jace is stricter as a father than might be expected. not in a harsh way, but in a protective way. in a 'i want you to learn how best protect yourself and your family' way. he's definitely a teacher, in a very physical way, and loves spending time in the training room with his kids and niblings (not that this makes him any more mature or less ridiculous at his core hehe)
creativity and expression are very well supported by all members of the tmi gang, and their children develop a good amount of confidence when it comes to being themselves and not necessarily folding into shadowhunter (or warlock) norms
magnus loves taking the kids on adventures and showing them things they might never have gotten to see if they didn't have a very powerful warlock for an uncle, but he is also very protective, moreso than some of the other parents. he's seen too many people die to knowingly bear witness to human/shadowhunter recklessness in these kids he cares so much for
alec is the first one to suggest they let rafe go out on patrol, not without alec ofc. that first patrol is a fun one. jace is there too. he's muchhh less strict with his niblings than he is with his own kids, and he tends to treat them much more like how he treats kit. hence the fun hehe rafe has a blast, and the whole time alec's anxiety is through the roof.
all the cousins are scared of izzy's cooking. even if she's gotten better as the years have gone on, their parents have ingrained in them too much fear for the food she makes not to be wary when she holds out a wooden spoon with a questionable substance on it. usually the kids ask for pizza. or a delivery of chinese food (like parents like kids hehe)
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daily-sloop-john-b · 7 months ago
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They really should've let us meet Duke Ravenguard before he got captured.
Right now, it's Just Some Guy, and he's gone before you could've gotten into the burning building.
But what if—but what if you meet the Duke, and he has no idea who you are, but you can tell him you're a Baldurian and suddenly he's like 'I must help you, because my city's people are not unaffected.' And you get the chance to point out it's, at most, four of you in the woods. But the Duke says that four is enough. That even one would be enough. He appologises that he needs the time to gather his supplies and people, but come to Walkeen's Rest tomorrow and you will head out to return to the Gate and the best healers within it at the first light of dawn
...and then you show up and the goddamn town is on fire.
Wyll would get an alternate scene where he's heartened to see his father after so long, attempts to explain, and yet his father scorns him for the monster he's become (if you've met Karlach) or tethered himself to (if Karlach isn't there or already turned over to Mizora). Wyll attempts to explain, but his father cuts him off, says he'll never forgive him. Then the Duke catches himself. Apologises that his responsibilities and duties as a Duke must come between them. And that, in lieu of forgiveness, he could at least listen to Wyll. But that he is too angry right now, and any explanation would fall on deafened ears. Please, the Duke pleads with us. Come back tomorrow, if you could stomach a father who could not give his forgiveness, but would at least give you supplies for the road instead. And of course Wyll gives you puppy dog eyes so you agree.
That night, Wyll tells you a little of what brought him to Mizora's feet, and his hopes that, even if his father couldn't forgive him, the two of them may tomorrow reach an understanding, at least. Wyll tells you how long he's said nothing to his father, from his fears of what he would think, trying to protect the Duke from Wyll's own follies. But that he sees now that Wyll wasn't trying to protect his father or the Gate, but himself. Wyll cannot tell his father everything—because at this point Wyll doesn't even know—but you can help bolster his resolve to tell his father what he can.
...then you wake and the village is on fire.
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w1tchybusiness · 7 months ago
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i could write a 100 page essay about what a fucking masterpiece warframe is. i will write many words in the tags. please readem if you want my 'tism.
#ive been playing on and off since 2019 but its only recently when i dumped destiny 2 (probably for good) and picked it up#to fill the grind-shaped hole in my heart#that i have uncovered just how FUCKING INCREDIBLE warframe is#everything about it makes me incredibly autistic#from its masterful utilization of an incredibly styled and individual soundtrack full of absolute bangers#to its seemingly unique understanding of how and why an MMO is special to and because of its players#and its truly special story- a uniquely human take on the “post-ruin scifi” tale#it knows exactly how and when to yank on your heart to make you weep like a baby#and it knows exactly when you're going to get angry and want vengeance#and it knows when to let you let loose and unleash hell#SPOILERS FOR THE NEW WAR AHEAD#IF YOU THINK YOU COULD PLAY THE GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO#SPOILER WARNING#i think the narmer corruption of fortuna was genuinely one of the most gutpunchingly horrible moments ive ever experienced in a video game#i started playing when fortuna was already in the game but the story of fortuna and vox solaris was really what made warframe stand out 2 m#i would drop into the orb vallis as gauss and dash around doing bounties and fishing and mining because i really loved everything about#fortuna and wanted to spend as much time there as possible#for me vox solaris was my proudest achievement (in warframe.) to say “i helped that! i did that!” was an incredibly good feeling#the story really spoke to me on a deeper level#and vox solaris has always been my favorite faction as a result#so to do absolutely everything that i could#to lift together with my tenno brothers and sisters and yet STILL fail?#and to have it rubbed in my face by the corruption of the greatest shining pillar of hope in the warframe universe?#felt like i got kicked in the stomach#i felt sad and angry. but most of all i was DRIVEN.#which is GOOD. because RARELY does a video game present you the “you lost” scenario and have it feel not only satisfyingly painful#but MOTIVATING.#my only complaint with the new war is that i didnt get to hack ballas to pieces by myself#i had real flashbacks to running around helping people as gauss while approaching the final boss with erra#and to step onto the ballas arena as gauss prime. i nearly came from the narrative significance
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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 days ago
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sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them
i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.
under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)
ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.
embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great
back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.
my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)
durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL
'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full
as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL
BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).
tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on
Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive
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and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...
once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)
i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)
that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here
before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..
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i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....
#snap chats#usually this onea them posts i ramble bout in the tags but i have photos and this is Long long so .. i use the main body for once ...#sorry i gave a biography but i never talk to people and i also love typing. im one of those party can-of-worms i fear#i feel like i could talk about this forever because x-men itself has never been super prominent in my childhood#it was just kinda there in the background BUT comics themselves have always been with me. theyre a keystone to me i think#but yeah. x-men definitely sticks a lot harder than avengers does now OOPS this is not me taking shots i am just SAYING#i have a lot of old marvel doodles tbh .. i found an old deadpool one i remember drawing with my bro during a car ride#kinda funny how much my bro and i bond i dont think of it much but I Guess thats another reason why comics are special to me#we dont bond much- i dont bond with my fam in general tbh we're kinda. Isolated in a way LOL so its cool we're tight at least#if you wanna go deeper bout Comics And My Family my dad really liked comics growing up- more dc tho maybe#apparently he used to draw hulk a lot but if he did those drawings are loooong gone.. at least i know who to blame for me drawing#he loves superman tho. i remember id get embarrassed watching superhero cartoons and superman was on screen when he was around#for some reason i thought id get in trouble if he caught me watching superman but when he did once he was real happy so. tf wrong with me#he loves to say hes superman a lot and id be like Dad... Stop... LMAO but in the cheesiest way possible he do be my hero so. accurate ig#but yeah thats my origin story for why i like comics again thank you for reading if you actually read all that#and sorry it got all sappy Unfortunately i be like that sometimes. i am very emotionally constipated and i over explain a lot#ok i fr gonna end it here im gonna keep going by accident if i thinka any longer and i have stuff i still have to do
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secret-citrus · 13 days ago
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Twenty Years (1790 words) by TheGeekySquirrel Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Trolls (DreamWorks Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Branch & Floyd (Trolls), Branch & Bruce & Clay & Floyd & John Dory (Trolls), Floyd & John Dory (Trolls) Characters: Floyd (Trolls), Grandma Rosiepuff (Trolls), Branch (Trolls), John Dory (Trolls) Additional Tags: Movie: Trolls Band Together (2023), Floyd Needs a Hug (Trolls), Childhood Trauma, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Floyd Goes Gray, Angst, Angst and Feels, Hurt No Comfort, Kismet Mentioned, Backstory Summary: We know what happened to most of the brothers after they walked away. But where did Floyd go? Why didn't he come back? Do we know that he didn't go back? Maybe there's a past yet to be unfurled, a story left to be told.
Hey y'all, I'm gonna start posting this Floyd fic I've been working on for a while. No set schedule at the moment, but I do have the next few chapters ready to go. They should be posted once a week until I run out of material. Okay, thank you, please enjoy!
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shaolin-spin-doctor · 3 months ago
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not sure if this is a hot take but. imo. Fire God Liu Kang kinda sucks and it's the worst direction NRS could've taken his character in tbh
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quantumshade · 1 year ago
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can you elaborate on gender with the twelfth doctor... im spinning she/her pronouns for twelve around in my head so much it gives me life. even if you dont feel like/dont have any further elaboration i want to thank you for introducing me to that concept
because she's a girl...? i don't understand the question she's just a girl
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