#i could fill pages with how much it means to me on a personal level but it would still no be enough or sufficient to put into words

[ineffabeatlemindpalace]

This fandom is capable of being a safe space. The show represents a place where you do feel like you belong. You know that you can expect to be met with acceptance by everyone who has been working on its creation. Even if it appears like social media has become more progressive on these issues, for me, mid-twenties, any of these online spaces (Tumblr being the exception) have become distant and foreign to me. Our Flag Means Death has given me hope again. Not only on this matter, but how we treat each other in person, as well. It is a unique and privileged state to not have to overthink whether you share your pronouns, sexuality, or other details about yourself.

Here, queer and neurodivergent people come together to share the same love for something so genuine and wonderful. Even if there is more to a person than those attributes, I think this understanding is exactly what we need to keep focusing on. So often do we get judged based on labels, appearance, or behaving in any other way that differs from what society regards as normal.

The entire world will not think or act differently but what we have here is proof that in creating pieces of art and media such as this one, a difference can be – has already been – made. It can change people’s minds and attitudes towards those who are different from them. It can open their hearts to see beyond their own lives. Art very well has the power to show that we are all humans in the pursuit of peace, happiness and some kind of love, however we define that for ourselves.

[limabean42]

✎ Anxiety exploring art with an artist partner ✎

Anxiety won the poll on who I should write for next. I got a request though so I prioritized that but here you guys go!

-

• While Anxiety doesn’t think about art that often she can appreciate the dedication you have to it

• She first discovered you were an artist when she saw you painting at an easel near the window in headquarters

• You were painting a clown, like the one on goofball island

• “Why are you painting that?” she asked

• You shrugged and just said because you want to

• Anxiety was intrigued. She rarely ever had mental clarity to pursue a hobby. Always filled with worry about the future

• She just stood there next to you for a moment thinking of how you can actually have passions and interests outside of Riley

• I mean she knows the other emotions have a sense of self as well but you just seem more carefree about it

• “Would you like to try?” you asked her

• She thought for a moment, getting anxious about the what ifs. Like what if she gets too wrapped up in painting and misses a moment to help Riley?

• You noticed her overthinking and placed a hand on her shoulder making her flinch

• She finally said that she would like to paint with you

• You grabbed her an easel and canvas and she grabbed a paintbrush like it was a foreign object

• You took it from her and put it back in her hand the proper way

• Anxiety didn’t know what to paint so she asked you. You responded with whatever was calling her the most. It didn’t have to be something in person but anything she could think of

• After a few minutes she decided to paint you

• You were flattered and a bit shy but tried to play it off

• She studied you closely and painted a portrait of you painting a clown

• It was a beginner level painting as expected but very wholesome and cute

• Anxiety felt strangely calm while painting and proud of herself after completing her masterpiece

• Immediately she rushed to hang the canvas on the wall, declaring everyone should look at it and tell her what they thought

• You were proud of her and gave her a big hug from behind accompanied by a kiss on the cheek

• After that you both would paint together more often

• Art wasn’t her main focus but she did enjoy it

• Before she tried painting she saw it as a waste of time, for herself at least

• Since then she’s come to realize that she is her own person as well as a part of Riley

• She loves to watch you draw in your sketchbook and on your drawing tablet

• It’s fascinating to her how you can just visualize something in your mind and recreate it in real life

• “Can you teach me how to draw now?” she asked excitedly after seeing you on your tablet

• You call her over to the couch and teach her what to do and press to get her desired product

• Anxiety hyper focuses very easily on anything she’s intrigued by. Right now she’s fascinated by the way your hand moves, connecting lines to create a bigger picture

• The other emotions are glad she’s found something to occupy her time with other than sitting in her massage chair

• So much respect was gained for you once she realized how genuinely creative you have to be to be an artist

• As a gift you give her a sketchbook

• Most of her sketches are of you doing various things around headquarters. You joke with her saying it’s good practice for drawing hands

• She likes sitting with her massage chair on while she draws, even though the constant shaking makes the line work a little wonky

• When she’s stressed she draws what she’s feeling. These pictures are mostly considered abstract with various colors and chaotic swirls to represent her anxiety

• While she’s in her head you drop what you’re doing and start drawing with her so she doesn’t go through her paranoid thoughts alone

• Your sketchbook is filled with lots of things, including some cute drawings of her

• Even your drawings that aren’t of her have part of her in them. Like if your drawing is in the center of the page there will be a tiny sketch of Anxiety at the bottom with a speech bubble above her head saying something random

• It really shows how much space she takes up in your mind

• With most of her sketches being of you it’s safe to assume that you take up a big spot in her mind as well

• “I hope I can be as good of an artist as you one day so we can continue to improve together”

-

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed and I’ll be getting to requests tomorrow :)

[yandereend]

You are looking for asks? Alright!

What is your take on the guys of MHA? Who do you think would most likely be a yandere? Lets say that they have taken notice of person who likes to draw. When she has a spare moment she doesn't play on her phone but instead likes to draw in a sketch book that she carries with her everywhere. After a few encounters one sided encounters (she doesn't notice their presence) she accidentally leaves her sketch book on a park bench. How would yanderes respond to finding the sketch book? What if the sketch book contained the reader's contact information?

Yandere Dabi x artistic reader

Okay maybe I am a simp but i always pictured dabi as a yandere (also he gives: darling guess whose back from jail, vibes )

TW : yandere stuff, simp behavior, bad English since its not my native language

Let me know which mha character I should write about too💜

———————-

I just always saw Dabi as a yandere, I mean think about it. This guy is traumatized to no end, hes clearly obsessed with revenge and seems laser focused on his goals.

So when he spotted you by yourself in a cafe he was intrigued. Everyone in there was looking at their phones except for you two. To be honest he would look at it if he had one, but lets be honest my man is fucking broke. And you, since you were focused on the paper infront of you.

Your sketch book was filled with drawings of everything you could think of, it showed which shows you watch, what your favorite flowers are, even your personal style could be found in the characters outfits. And he was so fascinated by the way you stopped caring for your surroundings and stared at the page.

He couldn’t help but follow you home. He knew he was messed up but stalking was a new level for him. But he loved watching you so much, he always imagined how things would go if he was there too, sitting on the couch watching you draw while one hand was resting on your thigh.

And then his lucky day came. You forgot your sketchbook while some random thief came into the cafe you were sitting in. Poor baby, he thought, so scared of some thief even though he could show you real power.

But now here he was holding your beloved sketchbook in his scared hands, brushing over the stickers you put on it and finally getting a look inside.

Wtf was that ?!?! Why are you drawing those awful heroes?! They are just good for nothings who wouldn’t even care for your existence!!! They are not hot !! �� why is there a sketch of Shoto in it ?

Dont worry darling hes coming to get you. Who cares about your old life, he will give you all the utensils you need. He will show you what a real hero is. And he will be just that.

Your hero.

——————-

I hope you liked it darling 💜 please let me know your opinion and further ideas, this ask showed me how much i love writing for mha 💜

Let me know your opinions and what character should be next 💜

[yeehawpim]

HI UM i really admire you and your art and i was wondering --

so i really love the way you format your comics, its really straight-forward and lets the reader process every word with ease (which i think adds to the impact of the writing), and that one rue comic with the split colors for the parentheses... how do you do it without making it look so messy?? to bring up another example, the hide-and-seek comic- i love how subtle and genius the call back to hiding behind the door was, it blew my mind... i take a lot of inspiration from the way you format and lay out your comics but for some reason i cant wrap my head around how you do so much with so little (in reality this might just be the result of me wanting to add so many little details for others to find , while being conflicted on keeping it simple, and,,, AGH...) for context : im trying to make a comic about isolation, but i keep filling up the page because i want to add things - when really i know i should be keeping it simple... but other than removing unnecessary details, i want to know what else you do to make your comics so clean and simple yet it rips out the emotions from your heart and has you stare at it as it beats. like... i want that type of impact!! i want to affect others on such an intense level!! i want to induce emotions!!! but how?

(sorry this was long, HAHAHA i just want to drive my point home- again with the 'wanting to add a lot of stuff to prove a point' thing but i digress)

ok first of all that is a huge compliment and it means v much to me, thank you 😭🙏❤️❤️

tbh for me the answer of keeping things uncluttered is paying attention to spacing and eye direction. Spacing depends on timing, if you want an action to happen slowly for instance you can make the space between panels longer, or take more panels for someone to complete an action. There's tricks for directing your eye, if you ever read anyth about focal points (eg biggest contrast, triangular shapes pointing towards what's important), but really with comics I keep in mind you're reading left to right and top to bottom.

The ruehob comic is actually simpler than you think 😅 I already knew which text had to be on the left and right with august's text post. And after that the "lanes" were so narrow there weren't a lot of complicated things I could do, just make sure you still read left to right and saunter vaguely downwards.

when you talk about putting little details, that doesn't necessarily have to distract people. Like I honestly applaud you having the drive to do detailing. You just have to make sure your compositions allow for it. Like if you think about ghibli backgrounds, they're elaborate and beautiful af.

For smth about isolation, my first thought was that you can draw a person in a setting alone among a bunch of objects, for instance. If you keep the person small but surround them with a bunch of detailed objects, it could feel very lonely. Just make sure the person still stands out b/c they're what's important, so for example the background stuff is a less saturated colour, or the person is the least detailed thing on the page. I think that's the main thing, you just have to make sure the things important to what you're saying stand out. Clarity is rlly half the battle when I'm laying things out haha

In school our teacher called this "killing your babies" because it sucks when you work hard on a cool drawing and it just doesn't work out😂This also still happens to me, it's actually partly why I keep things simple so I can work fast and throw out less

Here is a timestamp from supereyepatchwolf's video about Chainsaw Man, which has some of the coolest fuckin layouts

He's got other stuff that talks about manga and how eye direction can work and what cool stuff has been done. Off the top of my head his vid about one piece and his vid about gantz have helped me understand how to cause Emotions. Also I think he has one about Junji Ito that specifically talks about how details can make you scared, if you're into that 😂

hope this helps!

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

If you're looking for some indie novels to get you into the Halloween mood, let me recommend the works of my friend Ren Montgomery. She's self-published over on Amazon, and I want to get the word out for her three books.

Horror

Haunt is a period piece set in the late 1970s. It tells the story of the Stewarts, a dysfunctional family who are looking for a fresh start in a brand new housing development, but the trauma they bring with them feeds into something sinister within the house itself. Pete is an abusive alcoholic, Mae is a lapsing fundamentalist at her wits' end, and their three young girls Kelly, Robin, and Lori are just trying to get through the new school year without slitting each others' throats.

Ren explores what it means to have faith when your views don't line up with what your Church dictates, and when those in power don't have your best interest at heart. Haunt is about the ties that bind a struggling family together, for better, or more often for worse, and the pain they face while trying to break the cycle of abuse. The presence which darkens the doorstep of the Stewarts' new haunt heightens their worst impulses and brings each and every one of them to their personal breaking point.

Haunt is both terrifying and gripping, and the 70s setting permeates every aspect of the plot; it doesn't feel like a modern story with a nostalgic 1970s coat of paint over it, it feels like something straight out of the dingy, smoke-filled, no-seatbelts-or-airbags era, an oft forgotten aspect of the decade that so many authors struggle to capture on page.

Contemporary fantasy

Monsters Are We is a story about burning bridges, both accidentally and on purpose. With some relationships, when the passion is gone, you can cut your losses and go your separate ways, but Penelope Draven doesn't have that option. Her old life with Leo the soul-sucking cheater needs to come to an end so her new life can begin.

She's danced this dance before, but this time around is going to be much more difficult for two very important reasons. First, she finally has something that makes her hesitate before throwing it all away, something she wants desperately to take with her when she goes; her teenage daughter, Clementine. Second, Leo knows what she is, what she's done, and what she's capable of, and he's not going to let either of them go so easily.

Ren explores the relationship between a mother and daughter from two very different generations, but who are more like one another than either realize. Monsters Are We is about figuring out who you are and choosing who you want to be. It's about being allowed to make irreparable mistakes so you can learn from them. The Draven girls find themselves on a road trip to hell and back which puts their lives and the lives of their closest friends into Leo's crosshairs. When they find themselves down on their luck, Penelope knows how to make her own, but it comes with a price.

Psychological thriller

Drawn to You is the story of the one that got away and one woman's twisted machinations to try and get it back. Ruby Deardon never got over her college crush, Sean Chaplin. They could have had something beautiful, Ruby tells herself, if only they had had anything at all. The timing was never right, the dominoes never fell the way she needed them to, so she lost her chance at her fairy tale happy ending.

Well, after nearly a decade of pining from a distance she decides to take matters into her own hands and insert herself back into Sean's life so they can finally have the life she's always wanted. He wants it too, she's sure of it, he just doesn't know it yet.

But just as she's about to zero in on Sean, she learns that Jeremy is zeroing in on her. She's was his one that got away, and while most women would be wary of his level of obsession, Ruby sees him as nothing but an obstacle standing between her and the future she's set her mind on. Jeremy is an unexpected dog in Ruby's game of cat and mouse, but cats have claws, and he has no idea what she's willing to do to make sure the mouse gets got.

[tariah23]

Still unfortunate that Fabricant 100 was axed. I’d just found it not too long ago (like two weeks ago or so) and ended up binging it because I found it decent enough to do so. It was never really all that boring to me either like, it kept me interested despite its problems and I still wanted to see more of it. But it’s over now. Well… I can say that there is no shame in having your manga axed after only 30+ chapters (shit happens) and it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed or have never had the chops to keep your manga running in a popular ass weekly magazine like JUMP, either.

I can point out quite a few positives from the manga at least. For one, the art for F100 remained very fairly consistent throughout it’s short run and it was aesthetically pleasing enough for me to linger on many pages that left me saying stuff like “Ohhhhh, sexyyyyy-“ and “so cool, I need more of this!!!” Like, the mangaka’s art style was very appealing to me right off the bat and I really loved the way that they drew faces and eyes especially. I’ve mentioned this before but I can definitely tell that they’re a fan of JJK because of their style. It’s always nice to see other mangaka be influenced by their fellow peers and friends. This is just my personal observation though but you can really see it in their style (just more polished vs JJK’s more rough look.) not to compare the two but yeah.

The story was pleasant enough for me to keep on pushing without feeling like it was a drag. It’s unfortunately axed to the shadow realms, never to see the light of day again, but I’d still recommend it if you’re just looking for something that is extremely easy to digest in a short period of time. There’s a decent amount of violence (typical for what you’d find in most shounen), some heart stings being pulled ever so slightly, again, great art, and a new fav character who you’ll say deserved so much better than what she’d gotten *cough* 100 *cough* 🚬.

On to my grievances with the story itself. Well… after finishing it (I just read the final chapter a couple of hours ago), I can… sadly understand why it had gotten axed.

For one, I feel as though the plot had been a little too fast paced for the kind of story that it was for it to work? The plot could be easily followed but the story didn’t linger on the world or the characters and their lives enough to fill in the blanks, causing readers to probably not care too much for what was even going on outside of admiring the art and looking at how cool 100 was. Tbh…… Would’ve helped with developing the characters a whole lot better if the mangaka had given themselves more time (it’s JUMP so who knows how much stress they had been most likely under while working on this series.) Fast paced stories CAN work! But I feel like you’d have to be an extremely disciplined, and probably seasoned writer, to pull off such a feat: i.e Fujimoto. Not comparing him to others (it’s unfair, sorry) but he’s pretty much on an entirely separate level when it comes to how he progresses his stories and how he chooses to transition them vs his peers. CSM is handled extremely well in that regard. Sometimes, you just need to slow done your plot, the world, and characters that exist within it in order to better understand where you’d like to take it next. ☠️ Because of this, majority of the characters did fall a bit flat because we got to meet them but we never had the chance to know them as characters outside the one or two chapters they might’ve appeared in just to add a bit of action and raise the stakes of the story. The thing is, the few characters that we did meet were actually pretty alright? They weren’t boring at all to me, they just lacked a lot of importance to the story and felt like place holder for the plot’s transition from point A to point B, to point C, onto D, etc like… they all felt like they were just there to advance a scene pretty much. It would’ve been great to learn more about some of them (the siblings and Luka especially. Felt completely wasted tbh.)

The MC, Ashibi Yao, wasn’t the worst shounen MC at all, either. I felt like he’d been limited as a character though. Like, his family were known to have unnaturally long lifespans for them to just be literal humans, and could all heal themselves from most injuries despite being a completely normal family. The reason for his family’s abilities were later explained in the last couple of chapters of the manga but I felt like there could’ve been more to this? Idk, I guess it wasn’t too bad when I really think about it. But I didn’t find him using his “spark,” (enhanced abilities that the body already holds deep inside or whatever. Since his body is not normal, his healing abilities had been greatly enhanced due to him receiving a spark,) all that interesting if I’m being completely honest. Like, him just jumping around and spilling his blood in any old flashy way like that…? Eh. Would I still like to see him doing this once it hits chapter 100? No way, man. His personality wasn’t too bad though. He had some kind of bite to him and didn’t fall to much into the “uwu, soft boy MC,” category like Tanjirou for example (very boring character archetype, especially if that is all that there is to them personally wise like give me something. Deku had fit this category as well for a short while but I remember enjoying his character regardless because of how quirky he was. I just wanted to root for him ^^. I still care about a couple of BNHA characters even tho I don’t care about the series anymore. Making a character too honest can be a turnoff. You have to give them some kind of personality to go along with their pure heart as well because then otherwise, they’d just end up as your run of the mill, shounen MC who doesn’t stick out at all.) Ashibi was honest and had a good heart but he was out for revenge. And never faltered and instead, put his trust into his will to keep going and 100’s power by his side. Idk, his journey had been short but I was happy for him in the end. He got to live and start his life over at the age of 18. He was a decent MC. The mangaka just needed to give him MORE of the things that he’d already possessed is all. And cooler powers!!!

Tbh, the Fabricants weren’t all that interesting at all… except for 100 (and that one Fabricant who had started to regret what he’d done at the end of his life… would’ve been nice to run into all sorts of different Fabricants who’d probably felt differently about their origin? Maybe they didn’t want to become the “ideal human,” (forgot to mention that this was the main conflict of the manga. All of the Fabricants (false human shaped individuals who’d all been created from the corpses of dead people who’d been bombed 🗿…) had been created by a Doctor who built those very bombs (he felt bad afterwards, blah blah blah, and wanted to make amends for his actions by bringing people with the purest hearts back or whatever. But none of his creations had ever proven successful. Upon bringing a Fabricant to life, he’d immediately reject them, causing each and every Fabricant to immediately feel insecure about their right to be alive if they’re weren’t perfect or what the doctor had wanted. They were all born with the mindset of wanting to become the ideal human being. Each Fabricants strength is based off of the order in which they’d been born. The largest number meaning the strongest. The MC just so happens to travel the world with the Strongest of them all. 100. Who had been the final Fabricant created by the Doctor. She’s kind of everything actually. I think her character was just too big for the story and that she would’ve thrived if the circumstances would have been different. She was pretty much the most interesting character out of the whole story and if the manga wouldn’t have gotten axed, if the story would’ve improved enough for it to continue, I could’ve easily seen her becoming a really popular character across social media. It’s too bad. 😔❤️.

I’m done talking tbh. Would like to say more but it’s over, man. I’d still be interested in reading more of what this mangaka has to offer whenever they do decided to work on something new and hopefully, their next work will become pretty successful. Their art is so nice, it would be a shame to see such a promising mangaka disappear after F100’s axing. I believe in them!

[olympusfarm]

You open the well-worn journal. the cardboard front-cover is severely faded. the yellowed pages protest as you open it up. the first page is blank but the second page is filled with cramped cursive handwriting.

Winter 20, Year Two

I really don't know what to put in here. I found this journal in my mailbox this morning, with no real explanation.

So I guess I'll start at the beginning.

I came to Stardew Valley almost two years ago now. I guess I would say my life back in Zuzu city was a comfortable one. After graduating college with a bachelors degree in botany, I got a job as a bartender at a club near my apartment. my apartment was small, but I liked it enough.

It always felt like something was missing, though. When my grandfather Uranos died and left the farm in my name, I decided it was worth a shot. I might as well use my bachelors degree for something.

Life here is good. I quickly became friends with Linus and Rasmodius. Linus has always been nice to me, and I know Rasmodius cares, even though he doesn't show it much. I don't often have time to visit them anymore, but I try to visit them when I have time.

The farm is doing well, and the community center is slowly getting restored. The fish tank and bulletin board have been giving me some trouble though. I've made it to the bottom of the mines and am trying to get to level 25 of skull caverns for Qi. My animals are doing well, I have two chickens named Helen and Hypnos, a duck named Hector, a cow named Helios, and a goat named Pan. I don't worry about money for the most part and I redecorated my cabin recently. I like how it looks.

Other than Rasmodius and Linus, I've been getting closer with some of the townspeople. Abigail is slowly becoming one of my best friends along with Alex, I've come to learn that George is not as mean as he makes himself out to be, Pam really cares about the town when she's not drunk, Emily is very caring and kind, Leah is super talented, Harvey is shy, but cares a lot about the well being of everyone, and Maru is probably the smartest person out of everyone in town.

Shane is the only one I have yet to figure out. Even though I give him tons of gifts and he seems to like them, he still acts so mean to me. He doesn't make any sense. I know there's a sweet side of him down there somewhere.

Regardless, I feel more at home here than I have ever felt.

I think I can really make a life for myself here.

-D.O.

You close the journal delicately and place it in the backpack you brought. You could read more, but it's getting dark and you should head back to Pierre's, where you've been staying for the time being. You'll read more later.

Next ->

[emachinescat]

A Year in (Book) Review: My 2024 Reading Journey 📚

#32 - A Murder Is Announced by Agatha Christie

Mystery / Miss Marple #5 / 240 pages / published in 1950 / Finished Mar. 11

One Sentence Review: Another mind-boggling mystery from Agatha Christie, this book takes murder to a whole new level by having the killer announce it ahead of time - filled with interesting suspects, subtle but brilliant clues, and some truly shocking twists, this Miss Marple mystery is well worth the read!

Favorite Quotes

"What I feel is my own business."

*

"People are really very alike, everywhere."

*

"People in the dark are quite different, aren't they?"

*

"Because people like living, don't they? ... Even if you're old and in pain and can just crawl out in the sun. Julian says those people love living even more than young strong people do. It's harder, he says, for them to die, the struggle's greater. I like living myself - not just being happy and enjoying myself and having a good time. I mean living - waking up and feeling, all over me, that I'm there..."

*

"And I like sleeping in a big cold room - it's so cosy to snuggle down with just the tip of your nose telling you what it's like up above."

*

"I've had a lot of physical pain - but if you have pain, you know how to enjoy the exquisite pleasure of the time when pain stops."

My rating: 4/5

A Few More Thoughts (Spoilers):

Despite some serious xenophobia in pretty much all of the English characters (unfortunately common for the time), this is yet another mind-blowing mystery. Once more, Christie completely stumped me, and the reveal was so dramatic and surprising.

This was my first Miss Marple book, and I was surprised at just how little she was actually in the book, even though we see later that she was always at work behind the scenes.

Though probably not an intentional lesson on the part of the author (though perhaps it could have been, at least somewhat), this book shows that one should not make assumptions about another person, particularly assumptions based on stereotypes, and not to discount of mistrust people on the basis that they are different.

[freeuselandonorris]

7, 24, 32 for the writer ask!

writing asks!!!

annoyingly i filled most of this out and then tumblr ate my answers SO take two!

What is your deepest joy about writing?

so this isn’t joy, per se, but i had a conversation with @lost-decade recently where i mentioned that i think a lot of my attraction to writing comes from the fact that i am, at heart, a horrible little control freak (positively unheard of in kink community etc etc) and thus it is very satisfying to me on a deep lizard brain level to put characters in situations and then make those situations conform to my wishes. my writing output always goes up dramatically when i am feeling overwhelmed or uncertain in life and i think this is a big part of it.

but also, i am a person who gets obsessed with things! i am all or nothing! i get obsessed with people (or rather their public personas, fourth wall and all that) and media and scenarios and kinks and tiny little details and big philosophical concepts. writing lets me poke at all those things. picture me like gollum holding a snow globe, shaking it up over and over again to watch how the flakes fall.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

i’ll talk about fic first as that’s what people on here know me for writing-wise. the answer here is: it depends! for my slutty little one-shots i tend to do very little research; stuff like crosstown traffic or a lot like life are largely unplanned or inspired by one real-life event that sparks an idea (although i guess you could say i researched the njoy plug in a lot like life in the sense that i own one lmao).

with longer fics, particularly RPF, i LOVE fitting my fic timelines into real-life events. this is particularly satisfying with motorsport RPF because the races give the year a very particular and easy-to-research structure. so for longer fics like there was always warmth between us i watched a ton of youtube videos and clips of max and daniel for both timeline inspiration and characterisation (although honestly i read that fic back the other day and my dialogue for them is so generic at times gjrskjfs), plus i wrote it relatively soon after the season itself.

with the toto/christian sequel to all the blood runs hot before it’s cold i’m working on, i wrote myself some notes of what themes i want to explore, plus a timeline of last season so that i could tie those themes into the arc of the season, like so:

i probably won’t use all those notes in the final piece, but it gives me a structure to work from.

for original writing, again it depends. for short stories and poetry i tend to free write for a bit beforehand until something appears from the ether that i can use as a starting point. for my novel-in-progress, when i wrote the first draft i basically did…maybe a page of planning? this was a bad idea. it was a mess. i resisted planning for ages but eventually i had to admit that for long-form pieces i cannot adequately structure my writing without one. so i went back and wrote a very elaborate plan using the six-arc story structure, which allows for much more freedom than a traditional ‘save the cat’ style beat sheet. highly recommend. i try not to do too much research beforehand (which is hard given i’m writing a novel about AI, something i have very little practical knowledge of!) because i just get bogged down and end up procrastinating.

jeez, that was an essay.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

oh lol there are SO MANY. i have a few of them tattooed on me. let me answer all three of those with the first example that comes to mind:

for poem, ‘turning and turning in the widening gyre / the falcon cannot hear the falconer’ from the second coming by wb yeats haunts me. the whole poem haunts me, actually, for reasons that should be obvious upon reading. but those lines utterly terrify me.

for novel, again there’s hundreds but the one that first came to mind was ‘you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style’ from lolita by vladimir nabokov. lolita is one of the books i’ve re-read the most because it is a complete masterpiece, and this line embodies that to me. it’s clever, it’s funny, it’s defensive, it slides in a fantastically important plot point in the shape of a joke. amazing.

from fic, this is maybe a random example but the first one i thought of was this line from darkest little paradise (F1, pierre/charles) by heroics: 'Charles clutches him for another moment, squeezes the back of Pierre’s neck, resists the urge to drop to his knees right here and let Pierre do whatever he wants with Charles’s soft body.' i don’t know what it is about it, something about ‘soft body’. it’s just a line that has really stuck with me as a beautiful example of a dynamic (both in the relationship sense and, a bit, in the kink sense) described with such restraint.

eta: fuck at risk of making this post even more unnecessarily long i just realised i would be utterly remiss not to mention ‘She wants to know where this moral fortitude was when he had her flat on her back in that dark little cottage. Wonders if he had to fuck her to find it. If she has to always be the one to pay for it.’ from @widespindriftgaze’s astonishing taskmaster RPF masterpiece broke both early and late (part 2 in a series), which i have never managed to read without crying.

thank you for asking! ❤️

from this writing asks post. i love shit like this (as you can see from how fuckin long this got); please feel free to ask more if you're reading this!

[tvmicroscope]

Hi! Thank you ever so much for sharing your metaphor analytics. I feel like I'm seeing YR in a completely few light after having read them.

I want to ask you (but feel no pressure to reply), if you have any thoughts on verbal foretelling based on sarcasm, fears or simply being hideous wrong. I don't even know what's it technically called. But what I mean is a lot of the stuff that August spew in at least the early episodes of S1 are foreshadowing stuff that will happen to him ("Don't use the school WiFi..., You could kill someone and...) and my personal favourite "Do we want the future king..). So my question is there are some pretty evident lines that foreshadowing events - have you seen some more subtle and systematic usage of this technique throughout S1 and S2?

Actually there is one particular line by Rosh in S1 that I think foreshadows something about Simon, that is "Where are you going?". I really love that line and the ensuing dialogue.

Hey, I really, really have to apologize for replying to your kind ask so very late. I have a huge backlog when it comes to messages and comments right now. Everyone is so lovely and kind, but I can barely keep up with it all. I have a feeling that I will have to take a bit of a tumblr break (and break from other social media platforms, as well) because I can’t do both: write my analysis posts on my blog AND keep interacting on other platforms. I'll have to choose one, and that's going to the writing itself.

Anyway, I know this is no excuse for being so embarrassingly late, but I hope you’ll forgive me for the delay because I do actually find it so very encouraging and motivating when people like you say nice things about my little blog project. It really helps me and keeps me focused, so thank you for letting me know you enjoy the close-reading analysis I’m doing on the show. I’m surprised and a bit exhilarated to find out how many people tell me they’re seeing the whole show in a new light. It’s all very, very much appreciated.

As for your question…

Yes, I totally agree with and I think you are absolutely right: Looking at throw-away lines is very important when analyzing a ‘text’ (be it a novel, play, TV show, film, etc.). When a writer sits down to write a screenplay, they obviously don’t just come up with funny lines (or sarcastic or angry lines, for that matter) to fill the page. Usually, they will try to make sure the line in question is connected to the deeper theme of their ‘text’. Everything in their ‘text’ has to fulfil a purpose, i.e. either drive the plot forward or be plugged in into the broader network of metaphorical subtext.

One of the things we have to keep in mind, though, is the fact that not every line in a ‘text’ is necessarily a metaphorical line. There are lines that are just plain text, so to speak.

In essence, you end up with two types of throw-away lines:

1) Lines on the literal level (the textual layer=plot) that have ONE meaning (even if, at that point in the story, that meaning is still obscure to us, i.e. if the line serves the purpose of foreshadowing future events).

2) Lines that operate on both the literal level (textual layer) AND a subtextual level (metaphorical layer underneath) and thus have TWO different (sometimes divergent) meanings; they can even have three different meanings, when the meta-level is involved.

Let me give you an example: August’s line in s1 during the initiation party that you mentioned in your ask about being able to ‘murder somebody here without it ever coming out’ (I’m paraphrasing). That line is most likely a case of type 1. from our list above, i.e. it operates on the literal level of the script even if we assume it foreshadows some future revelation that we don't yet know anything about. It’s not a line that’s plugged into a metaphor. It’s not metaphorical subtext; it’s text.

If August were to proceed to murder (or try to murder) someone later on. Or alternatively get killed himself. Or if we were find out that somebody else was murdered and it was covered it up, then that would give us a resolution, explain to us why the line was said in the first place and what surprising revelation exactly it was foreshadowing.

This line is however (most likely) not a metaphor. In a metaphor something else represents the concept you’re trying to allude to. Just to give you an example: When Wilhelm in episode two of season one tells Simon in the boat to ‘keep the strokes close to the surface of the water, so as not to expend too much energy’, this is clearly a metaphorical line (type 2. from our list above) because it clearly has two meanings: the literal one (rowing advice) and the metaphorical one (rather dumb and conservative relationship advice). And we instantly see that it’s a metaphor because one thing (rowing) represents another thing (feelings/relationships), one concept stands in for another one.

This is most likely not the case with the ‘murder someone’ line: Here one thing (murdering someone) literally means that same thing (murdering someone). It’s (most likely) not a metaphor; it’s not metaphorical subtext; it’s just text – even if the meaning of the text is currently obscure to us because the show isn’t yet finished.

Why am I telling you all of this (you’re probably bored just reading it because you know all of this already :D)…

Because what I’m mainly concentrating on in my metaphor posts on my substack blog is the metaphorical subtext, i.e. the metaphorical lines, the type 2. lines, so to speak. I sometimes use plain textual lines (type 1 lines) as evidence when I think they are somehow connected to a broader point I’m trying to make or reinforce an argument I’m making, but I don’t really discuss them in and of themselves.

Mainly because, with a line that still hasn’t revealed its meaning to us because it’s obscure at this point in the story, I just don’t really know what to do with it. We can speculate what it means (which is always interesting, of course), but ultimately we don’t know. It’s fun. But if it’s not connected to the metaphorical subtext, I will probably not write about it in and of itself.

Now, as for the Rosh’s line that you mentioned (and thank you again for reminding me, my brain is like a sieve sometimes), that one arguably straddles the boundary between text and subtext, between type 1 line and type 2 line: Rosh, Ayub and Simon are pretty much talking figuratively already at that point, i.e. when Rosh says, “Where are you going?” she isn't asking whether Simon is literally leaving the room, this is meant figuratively (‘where are you going in life?’). It clearly foreshadows Simon’s path that’ll lead him away from Bjärstad not just as a place, but away from the narrow confines of his working class upbringing. So far the line is not a metaphor yet (there isn’t one concept that stands in for another one like, say, ‘water’ for feelings, or a ‘suitcase’ for a burdensome role, or ‘music’ for love, or the ‘ear’ for the heart, etc.). But it’s definitely meant to be understood figuratively. So far it has had only a tragic meaning (Simon only ‘went viral’ in the context of a crime that was committed against his privacy), but when it comes to leaving Bjärstad and the confines of his working class upbringing behind, I could very well see this at some point mean something along the lines of: going to university or study music at a conservatory - something often frowned upon in a milieu with a working-class background (the age-old, “What do you need that highfalutin' stuff for? Learn a trade like everyone else in the family!”). I still have a tiny hope that, “Where are you going?” might mean the famous Verbier Music Festival. If Simon gets at least an invitation in the mail and that’s the third time Verbier is mentioned (in a much more positive light than before), I would be over the moon.

Ultimately, it’s again a line that can foreshadow a lot of things, but it’s (probably) not meant to be understood entirely metaphorically, which is also why I most likely won’t discuss it on the blog itself where I’ll try to stick strictly to the metaphors.Does that make any sense?

I feel I’ve written too much, but I hope that makes up at least a little bit for the long delay.

Thank you again for your kind words, and you’re always welcome to read more on the blog. Even if I take a tumblr break, I will keep posting a new article every week (usually on the weekend).

All the best!

[stay-with-eunhae]

Eunhae analyses - why is Eunhae real - part 5(Donghae’s personality analysis)

Thank you 溫莎虫 again for granting me permission to translate the post

For first-time readers, my words would be in italics, while the words from the original author would be normal. Also, some short forms he=happy ending, be=bad ending in Chinese. These are used as both nouns and adjectives. I also follow as I want to preserve the meaning of the original meaning of the author.

For non-Eunhae shippers, you can just leave this page. No one forces you to read. We have our freedom to believe what we think, you also have the freedom to believe what you think. We don't mind your business, so you also don't have to mind our business. Thank you.

I analysed the mbti of Hyukjae before, but not for Donghae. I always feel that compared with the contrasts and contradictions of Hyukjae, Donghae is much easier to be seen through.

However, as I started to analyse Donghae systematically, I realised there are still points worth noting. When disclosing the innate character through the familiar scenes, we can realise that the person that loves everyone equally, still loves Hyukjae the most.

Donghae's mbti is ENFJ, passionate and sincere, the educator that shines for everyone like the sun.

This kind of person puts emotions as the first priority. Is good at and relies on socialising. Idealistic. Has a strong sense of cooperation and teamwork. Is sensitive to the conditions of the people surrounding him. Would build a sense of responsibility for himself.

These are all very obvious personality traits. If you understand Donghae more, it is easy to discover these traits in him. This blog entry is not meant to introduce his personality, but just roughly conclude some most flagrant qualities.

Members always say, if not because of Donghae, super junior may not be able to exist till now.

With the competitive atmosphere at that time, anyone could be kicked out of super junior at any time. They were filled with worries. Even though they were companions for each other, they also had competitive relationships with each other. At a time when everyone was highly sensitive due to unforeseen futures, Donghae always put the team as the first priority. Compared with his personal career development, he cares more about team development.

ENFJ is always the one who has the strongest sense to cooperate in a team. He would always remind himself as a part of the team. He would use all he can to ensure to the team is getting together.

Even though Donghae always gives a feeling of a 'free spirit', he is actually a person who can notice the hints given from others' eyes. He is pretty observant and can notice the change in mood of the people around him.

Even though he said he is afraid of cameras and variety shows, his EQ is definitely decent, or even at a level that can master social situations well. He understands completely what kind of people he should date with. The prerequisite of this strength is that he is a very sincere person.

Talking about ENFJ, people like this kind of person are usually due to their sincerity. They are generally very likeable, as they know how to socialise well.

Being good at socialising does not mean being tactful and mature, as probably they are only willing to put effort into dating. Socialising is a vital part of ENFJ's life. They need friends and need to date people. They like the feeling that they can rely on others.

A quality of ENFJ that can be said as a strength or weakness is their altruism.

They are full of emotions, highly empathetic, can sense the emotions of others easily, and love everyone idealistically. They are willing to lower their own sense of existence to help the overall development.

They are the natural 'vice-leaders'. Their beliefs towards the team would make them get close to leadership inadvertently, but their escape towards responsibility and ruling would also lead them to refuse the highest leadership position. This also explains why Donghae is not the leader of the group, is not the eldest of the group, but has very decent power in his words.

Above these qualities can be observed easily, so I am not going to explain them in detail. More importantly, I would like to analyse how special ENFJs are towards the people they love.

ENFJs have a tendency to have hypergamy in their romantic relationships. Their attitude towards a person is usually decided at first sight.

When facing the person they like, this type usually has a crazy crush towards that person just like idolisation. Everything is attractive to them about their crushes. Would not withstand anyone speaking a single point badly for them. Only have their crushes in their eyes.

A point to note is that the first reaction of this kind of person when meeting their real love would be feeling diffident. Due to hypergamy and almost blindly crushing on someone, it is easy for them to worry about 'is it that he doesn't like me?'

As you all know, Donghae somehow just speaks without a filter. During the period Hyukjae refused to commercialise any ships, for the question 'who is the person getting along the least with Eunhyuk', he gave a famous quote 'I wish to be the answer to all his questions.'

From his avoiding eyesight and slightly guilty expression with his head lowered, I think he really suspected that Eunhyuk was not willing to ship with him was due to that Eunhyuk did not like him.

When ENFJs found someone they like, they would gradually treat this person as the centre of the world. Obsessed but also insecure.

In the eyes of ENFJs, even if the world becomes black and white, the people they love are still coloured.

For the people they love, they always encourage and appreciate them unconditionally. If you compare how Donghae treats Hyukjae versus other members, you would find out that he almost never speaks anything bad about Hyukjae. Even for variety show puns, he also cannot speak of anything bad about Hyukjae. It is because, under his special filter, the person he loves is always immaculate.

(except individualistic)

In public situations, the only weakness he spoke of Hyukjae seriously would be 'individualistic', yet interestingly, no one would speak of this friend as selfish.

So I tend to think what Donghae minds is the individualism of Hyukjae himself. When ENFJs love a person, they would give the person everything unconditionally. Compared with what ENFJs give to their partner, if their partner does something a bit egocentric, ENFJs would treat this as not prioritising themselves enough.

As aforementioned, ENFJs are typically generous and likeable. When others don't treat them well enough, they would also comfort themselves 'never mind. They also have their own thoughts.'

(Photo 1)

However, for someone they love, ENFJs would put themselves and their partners together, treating them as a single entity. At this stage, if their partner in any circumstances just thinks of themselves, they cannot tolerate such thoughts.

(Photo 2)

When ENFJs are with someone they love, they always speak of 'we'. He would put the person he loves into every of his plan and arrangement. Everything is only meaningful when 'we' are doing it together.

How they are being nostalgic, would usually be the kind naturally linking incidents and people together, just like it is a 'we' when mentioning Hawaii. If there is a part of their memories that is special, everything about it would carry a special meaning for them.

(Photo 3)

Although the story of Donghae telling Hyukjae all his secrets with Hyukjae being apathetic was told many times, the main characters of the story are always only these two. The problem is that Donghae would tell everyone his story passionately, but he would only be angry when Hyukjae was not giving him responses.

How ENFJs centre with 'devotion', meaning that they would treat everyone sincerely, but such sincerity would not ask for returns in equal value. For them, respecting and tolerating the privacy and freedom of others is also a type of devotion.

However, if talking about someone that ENFJs love, they would be required to give back the same level of sincerity. They would be required to devote everything they have, in order for ENFJs to ensure that their partner also cares as much about themselves.

(Photo 4)

Before in Weibo, I talked about how Donghae can be someone that is very controlling if he doesn't date properly. It is also the most problematic part of ENFJ. They would instil their own thoughts into others, having a strong desire to control the thoughts of others. From serious values to trivial daily life habits, would also use his own ways to control others.

However, in this type, the controlling behaviour can also be subdivided. Some people would like to instil their own thoughts in everyone, including colleagues, and always make others feel suffocated. Donghae is definitely another scenario, only instilling in the people he is close enough with.

Members usually describe him as someone who would easily accept the opinions of others. He would follow the opinions of the majority and would sacrifice for the sake of team development. However, for Hyukjae, he would fearlessly express his own opinions.

The way how they get along right now is the fruit of the long-term adjustment between the two. Donghae definitely did not dare to raise his own opinions towards Hyukjae directly from the start. Hyukjae also would not be able to tolerate how controlling Donghae is for him. It needs a long time for mutual understanding and adjustments.

(Photo 5)

Donghae intentionally went inside to get a chair to sit next to Hyukjae.

Though Donghae always sticks to other people, the extent to which he sticks to others varies. Towards other members, it is more like he loves to hang around them habitually. He habitually needs someone to be with him. However, for Hyukjae, it is more of a spiritual reliance.

(Photo 6)

When meeting something that he is not good at or cannot be completed well, Donghae would naturally find Hyukjae for help. Hence, Hyukjae becomes the spokesperson of Donghae.

Calling Hyukjae at any time to find him, finding Hyukjae even though just handling trivial incidents, these obviously childish and unreasonable requests are just ways for him to justify his importance.

Even ENFJs are passionate and generous in normal social situations, they lack the sense of security in romance. They have very rich emotions, to the extent for anyone not as emotional as themselves, would think they don't love ENFJs enough.

The way how they show their affection is that even if it is something very trivial, they want to create opportunities to be with someone they love. Even others think ENFJs are brave and free, but for someone they love, it is even harder to confess than going to his home 10 times without any reason to have a chance encounter.

(Photo 7)

That's why Donghae would go shopping at Hyukjae's home to take clothes, would get into his home without prior notice, and would create trouble for Hyukjae.

All these unreasonable acts are just ways for him to express his affection and how he misses him. Even though ENFJs don't have any difficulties socialising in most situations, can get people liked so easily. However, it is hard to find real love for someone like this. When real love appears, it would make them forget all their social skills, back to using sincerity and warmth to get close to someone he loves.

All in all, friendships are usually natural and poised, while romantic relationships are usually very meticulous. After so many tests and justifications, all are just worried that the other does not like them.

(Photo 8)

After all the analysis, it is obvious that Eunhae's personalities are so different from each other. One of them is warming, giving his all at once, the other is rational, giving more and more of himself gradually.

Although these differences would require them to have a lot of adjustments for each other, the way they can complement each other is even more precious.

Also, personality is just a part of the innate factors in a relationship. More importantly, maintaining a relationship would also need the effort of the two people. One can understand the rationality and meticulousness of the other, one can tolerate the idealism and emotions of the other. It is because they understand each other enough, so they know those 'unreasonable acts' and 'not suiting your taste' are also ways to express their affection.

If saying love of Hyukjae is a rationalist giving all his impulsiveness and romance to Donghae, the love of Donghae would be an idealist giving all his vulnerability, sensitiveness and seamy side to Hyukjae.

'Just be yourself. I would love you as long as it is you.'

Point to note: as an MBTI enthusiast who understands MBTI to a level that understands cognitive functions very well, I actually discussed with some of my friends for an accurate typing and all we agree he should be ENFP instead of ENFJ. That's why some of the traits above sound pretty ENFP also. If you happen to understand more about MBTI and all those cognitive functions, you can message me to discuss a bit, though I may not always check my messages.

Thank you for waiting for me for so long for another update. I was really busy with school works over the term time and can only update a bit during term breaks. Wish this can help!

And please support super junior's comeback on 15/12! Celebrate! Let's do our best to support them!!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I like going back to old pages on comedy message boards, as part of my general obsession with the idea that everything is better and makes more sense if understood in its full context. Also, I find it a combination of interesting, enlightening, and straight-up funny to read early reactions to comedy things that we’d now think of as classics. Look at something that now is a cool vintage thing where knowing about it means you understand this influential piece of comedy history, and see that when it first came out, it was dismissed as newfangled nonsense that doesn’t have any of the heart or talent behind earlier stuff and comedy isn’t what it used to be.

It's not just comedy, this applies to everything. The Beatles were dismissed by many Serious Music Critics, in their day, as shallow teen heartthrob pop music (as opposed to what they were, which were perpetrators and enablers of domestic violence). Bob Dylan was famously dismissed as a sellout in 1965 by some Mancunians who, when I listen to the kind of shit that’s come from a revolution that began by plugging in guitars, I sometimes think may have had a point. I am now just barely old enough to hear some music getting called cool “classic”, when I can remember that music being new and considered shitty pop music that will never be as good as classic rock.

I think I like those in particular for all the above reasons, but also because there is something comforting in seeing someone say something that made total sense given the information they had at the time, and turn out to be wildly wrong. Makes me think about all the things that seem obvious and definitely correct to me now, given all the information I have, and maybe someday, it’ll turn out to all be wrong. Most of the things I think are true now are pretty depressing, so it’s nice to think maybe no one’s ever really right about everything.

There are a lot of comments along these lines in old comedy forum archives, but my favourite by far of all the lines to have not aged well is the person who said in June 2005 that: “Comedians often seem to be of the ‘world owes me a living’ type - no matter how many times they fail, they'll never jack it in and work in an office. Yes, I’m looking at you, John Oliver.” Honestly, doesn’t that give you hope for the future? If you ever feel like you’re so bad at something there’s no point in carrying on and you should give it all up, remember that person who said that in June 2005. If you just keep working at it for another year or so, you too could have Ricky Gervais mention your name to Jon Stewart one time and get to leave everyone who didn’t like you behind.

Anyway, I came across something today that I’d not seen before, which is an article in The Daily Telegraph from August 2005. This is different from other stuff because it’s not just comments from random people in a place where anyone can post, it’s an actual publication. A shit publication, but still, people get paid to write for it. And in 2005, they wrote an article called “Politics kills off comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe”.

The judges have been lamenting the "soul-destroying" lack of humour at this year's award, the comic centrepiece of the Edinburgh Festival which, over its 25-year history, has previously uncovered talent such as Hugh Laurie, Eddie Izzard, Steve Coogan, Jimmy Carr, Frank Skinner, The League of Gentleman and Graham Norton.

When judges meet for the first time today to draw up a long-list for the £7,500 prize, they are expected to be "hard pressed" to find acts to fill all 30 spaces.

Yesterday, they described this year's shows as "silly", "flat" and "of the level of fifth-form humour", and complained that they concentrated too much on politics, particularly on Tony Blair, George W Bush and weapons of mass destruction.

John Pidgeon, the head of entertainment at BBC Radio and chairman of the judges, lamented the "remarkable overuse of the 'C' word".

In 2005, comedy had gotten too political, too sweary, had run out of steam, would never again be great like it was when it was bringing in giants of hard-hitting, seriously talented stand-up like Graham Norton; epitomes of comedy with a real heart and soul like Jimmy Carr; and noted guy who married a teenage student at the place where he was teaching, Frank Skinner. That list of white men is the greatest comedy ever got, and now all this new stuff is just kids trying to be cool with their c-words and their political material but it will never measure up.

I really enjoy this bit from later in the article:

The judges were at a loss to explain why 2005 was so short on talent. Graham Smith, Channel Five's commissioning editor for comedy, last judged the competition in 2003. "You could say there was a surfeit of rich comedy that year. The winner was Daniel Kitson and - just to illustrate how strong it was - Jimmy Carr came second. Any other year the runners-up would have been winners."

I like that paragraph because:

1) Apparently the decline of comedy took exactly two years; it was at the top of its game back in the glory days of 2003, and was dead by 2005.

2) Apparently the likes of Jimmy Carr only coming second is a sign of the incredibly deep talent pool in a comedy competition, that’s how strong the field was back then!

3) They’re talking about the Perrier Award, which Daniel Kitson won in 2002, over fellow nominee Jimmy Carr. In 2003, Demitri Martin won it. I should know, there’s a video on YouTube from 2003 of Adam Hills yelling about Demitri Martin beating him for the Perrier Award while they destroy a cow. Get your facts straight, people.

That aside, I was amazingly not at the 2005 Edinburgh Festival, so I guess I can’t really say whether it was any good. I’ve seen/heard a number of shows that were done there (Tim Minchin’s Darkside, bits of the Zaltzman and Oliver Show, two Daniel Kitson shows, I’ve seen some of what Flight of the Conchords did there that year, Phil Nichol’s Nearly Gay, I’ve seen Dara O’Briain’s 2006 DVD and I’m pretty sure that’s mainly taken from his 2005 Edinburgh show, I've seen shows by Demitri Martin and Flight of the Conchords that would have also been taken from 2005, 2005 had a Mark Watson 24-hour show), and have enjoyed all of them. But also, the ones I’ve seen/heard are the ones that were good enough for someone to still have heard about and bothered to seek out in 2022/2023, I’m sure there was a lot of shit going on in that year too.

So if anyone ever tries to tell you that comedy, or for that matter anything else, had “classic” years and they just don’t make the great stuff the way they used to anymore, remember that people were already complaining about comedy “getting too political these days” by 2005. I’m continually amazed by how often you can go back years, and find the complaints about “look at the problem with [anything] these days, it’s not great the way it used to be” stays exactly the same.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

I'm curious, do you enjoy reading fics with trauma recovery as much as you enjoy writing them?

And is there anything you enjoy writing but hate/dislike reading? And vice versa?

Hi anon!

I do enjoy reading fics with trauma recovery! It's mostly what I read when I'm looking for something longer, however, I don't like trauma recovery just because it's trauma recovery? It needs other stuff too. A lot of folks assumed I'd like the Steve/Bucky Marvel pairing because Bucky has PTSD, but I actually can't stand that pairing (though I like both characters) and don't care as much about those specific narratives of PTSD (interpersonal trauma recovery interests me more than military or natural disaster trauma recovery, for example).

I don't know if I enjoy reading fics with trauma recovery as much as I enjoy writing it. In fact I'd say that's not true anymore because I've read very few fics with trauma recovery since I started writing Falling Falling Stars and I kind of realised I could write exactly what I wanted. Ever since then, reading the fanfiction of other folks doing trauma recovery is a harder sell to me personally, though I still do look for hurt/comfort etc.

I do still reread old fics I love, and old novels with trauma recovery / hurt/comfort that I love. But I don't... reread that content as much as I write that content, so if we're talking about 'time spent reading trauma recovery' vs. 'time spent writing/editing trauma recovery' alone, then I would definitely like writing it more.

Most of the original novels I've recced here and on Goodreads, particularly in romance but not always, generally have trauma recovery as a centralised theme or major part of the story.

As for stuff I like writing but hate/dislike reading:

Horror and supernatural horror (can't watch it, don't love reading it, really enjoy writing it)

Stories that are too long (lol)

Probably other stuff I'm forgetting.

And for stuff I don't like writing but really like reading:

Like, too much to list! I don't like writing nonfiction novels but I read a ton of nonfiction novels, lol. I don't really like writing high literature but I still read it. I don't like writing plays for the stage but I'll read 'em.

I mean isn't this true of most writers? Most of what we haven't written and/or don't enjoy writing is often what we're still going to really love, because we can't do everything. Idk, I have no interest in writing The Great British Bake Off, but I really like watching it. I have no interest in writing police procedurals but I love watching them.

Specifically in terms of romance fic, I'm not sure. Probably areas where I'm extremely concerned about the level of work involved in making a slightly accurate fanfiction - like getting terminology, customs and costumes right in certain fandoms like say, Natsume's Book of Friends or Mo Dao Zu Shi, and the actual process of writing seems extremely intimidating but I like reading (or have liked reading) stories in those fandom/s where other people are willing to do that work. I've definitely been thinking about researching this a bit more with an intention to writing fic going forward though.

I can be a really lazy writer, but I'm also a writer who can really appreciate when another writer has done the hard yards in areas of fandom where I want to read, but writing fills me with :/ feelings. Like, I really respect when you can see an author's care and research, but it's not weighing down the page and I don't feel like I'm getting a lecture that feels like a Wiki page that's been condensed down. Some of my favourite fandoms for like weird random niche knowledge included Dragon Age: Inquisition, and that was a fandom where I ended up doing a ton of research myself (i.e. what did horses eat 200 years ago, how did you prepare and store their food).

In terms of genre, there's not a ton of difference honestly. I don't love writing or reading gen. I don't love writing or reading fluff in the absence of hurt/comfort. I don't love writing or reading hurt-no-comfort. Maybe the biggest one is that on the very rare occasion I'll read a heterosexual PWP that has a kink I'm really looking for, but I don't intend to ever write het again.

(Finally pressing post on this after forgetting I had it in my drafts for ages!)

[scarletskye]

Day #2 | A Day With incandescent!

09/28/2023 | 11:08 pm

(02/60) [“it’s all okay…” Poem Collective]

Hello, today I’ll be looking through and writing about my poem, Incandescent! The second poem in the “it’s all okay…” collection, it follows in the steps of Firecracker. Sorry for the late post, work was crazy so I was really distracted. However, I would like to make this a daily thing that I keep going, as I have a backlog of poems I have written! I’ll continue to write more poems as I go, with about 300 poems to go through! Most however are pretty unfinished, and this blog gives me a reason to finish them. Hope you enjoy todays poem, its better than the last in my opinion ^^

Connection to Topic: Fire

The first two poems of this very large collection are largely inspired by the flame; a temporary but powerful thing. That which warms our nights and cooks our food, but has the power to burn it all away. It is a powerful, raw instrument; fire. This iteration is more about my personal experience with love.

Inspiration/Memory’s: A Rainy and Heartfelt Day

This poem was inspired by the idea of metaphors describing infinite concepts and ideas, it came up a rainy day where all I really wanted to feel some level of warmth, and was also feeling very love stricken at the same time. But I also just still loved everyone and realized how large my love was. All of this combined with a flurry of inspiration meant that I wrote a total of 17 poems, with this one being the one to lead my ideas. Filled with metaphors, it is a poem that I’ve grown to really like.

Meaning: Simple But Impactful (to me)

Very simple at its core, it is likely my least inspired poem, but also one of my nicer poems. It describes my love not just for one person, but for everyone; unwavering, infinite, and absolute. This poem however did shift my understanding of myself, and later poems reflect how much more love I have harbored for a single person, when I’ve truly been in love with someone.

Parts of Interest:

“My love for you is incandescent,

Inconceivable.

If I could put into words

Just how much I loved you,

It would probably never suffice,

Even with all the time in the world.

I could whisper to every leaf in the woods,

Into every room of an endless castle.

Or perhaps write into every page of an eternal book,

Describe just how much I adore you.”

The poem starts off with two lines, describing love as both incandescent or never-ending, and also as inconceivable; it couldn’t be adequately described. It then goes on to describe metaphors that follow this same premise; infinite, and unimaginable.

“Every love song throughout the history of eternity…

Every drop of water from the heavens to earth…

Every star in the infinite sky…

Wouldn’t suffice, wouldn’t suffice…”

And then how I both could, and couldn’t describe my love into more metaphors. These metaphors are slightly more basic in their meaning but equals unfathomable.

“I want you to know I love you,

I want you to know I would do anything…

And I would be willing to fight every day,

Every single hour, for your wildest dream.

Incandescent; inconceivable…

My love for you is eternal, infinite…

And I would never tire of telling you,

What a difference you make to the world…

To me; to the world.”

Further descriptions that tie together the entire premise down; no time in the world, no quantity would ever suffice, ever be enough. And yet if it’s never enough, will there ever be a way to demonstrate it?

Dedication:

The poem is dedicated to a single person; my love for you is infinite, and I’ll never get tired of telling you in my own way that isn’t ever the explicit “I love you”. And yet it’s also for everyone else, because I too feel a raw but infinite love for everyone.

Final Words:

A more powerful poem about a never-ending love, a love that cannot burn out, it is a poem that more accurately describes how I feel about love for others as compared to Firecracker.

Personal Rating: 7/10

Next up is: Pillar !

~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~

Incandescent

My love for you is incandescent,

Inconceivable.

If I could put into words

Just how much I loved you,

It would probably never suffice,

Even with all the time in the world.

I could whisper to every leaf in the woods,

Into every room of an endless castle.

Or perhaps write into every page of an eternal book,

Describe just how much I adore you.

It would probably never suffice

Even with all the time in the world,

Because there’s no measure or control,

Nothing to compare to; I adore you.

I want you to be free and brave,

I want to see you smile and laugh.

I want to see you every day, all the time,

So I never forget the beauty you hold.

I want you to grow and age,

I want you to live forever and ever and…

I want to hear your every heartbeat, every secret,

So that I may treasure your very nature.

My love for you cannot be measured or controlled…

Incandescent; inconceivable.

If I could ever say it to your face…

If I could ever tell you how much I loved you,

If I could walk along the street with your hand,

Firmly placed and etched within my own…

My happiness could be described only as infinite.

And even at the twilight of time,

Even at the end of a summer night,

I would never tire of reminding you,

Of how much I love you.

Every love song throughout the history of eternity…

Every drop of water from the heavens to earth…

Every star in the infinite sky…

Wouldn’t suffice, wouldn’t suffice…

I want you to know I love you,

I want you to know I would do anything…

And I would be willing to fight every day,

Every single hour, for your wildest dream.

Incandescent; inconceivable…

My love for you is eternal, infinite…

And I would never tire of telling you,

What a difference you make to the world…

To me; to the world.

[weiwithwords]

The weirdness of stories

An essential weirdness permeates all good stories: the weirdness of purpose. Things in stories happen for reasons; they must, for stories to make sense. Authorial intent and meaning require a basic assumption of cause and effect to be intelligible. Strong narrative structure entails strong beginnings and strong endings; good characters need good motivations; resonant themes shine brightly by definition. Even those stories whose point is ambiguity and dissatisfaction nonetheless have a point.

In these ways, stories are not like life. Life is filled with the random, the meaningless, the unintelligible. Life's complexity resists the sort of throughlines present in even the simplest narratives; life's level of detail eludes any attempt to capture it. In a fraction of a second, we can have a thought that would take us hundreds of pages to try to describe, and even after all those reams, we'd still feel like we didn't quite explain it right. And (in another way in which life and stories are different) even after all that, we would still have no idea what will happen next. So much of life is happenstance, and therefore naturally opposed to formulation. As my friend Kathleen told me, "You can't accidentally write anything. You can't accidentally create."

I often tell people I stopped being Christian because I went to a Chinese Christian camp with a charismatic pastor who delivered all these powerful sermons about life, but I got so much more value out of the non-theologic parts of his sermon that I stopped believing in God. I saw how all the important parts -- loving my family, listening to my parents, taking pride in my heritage, having meaningful conversations, resisting temptation, being still -- were attached to a totally vestigial, evidence-free religious dogma I could easily jettison, and jettison I did. Or so the story goes.

The problem with this story is that it doesn't make any sense. The pastor (whom everyone loved, and who was a truly gifted speaker) structured his entire message around God, the importance of God, and how wonderful God was. Indeed, his whole point was that all that other stuff about loving your family or whatever was totally vestigial, and could be easily jettisoned if love of God wasn't also present. Why didn't I feel the weight of the essential core of his message as much as I felt the other parts? I have no explanation.

Furthermore, I know plenty of people -- people in my age group, with similar backgrounds, whom I still know today -- who were heavily impacted by that core message of God, who cite that guy's sermons as a key inspiration for their personal devotion to Jesus and to church, and who will tell my same story with the opposite outcome. Why did our paths diverge so radically?

I want to ascribe the divergence to something intelligible, but I can't. The truth is, there are probably thousands of minute factors -- genetic, environmental, stupid -- I'm not aware of. Maybe my personality meant I never had a chance of committing my life to Christianity from birth, or maybe I'm still a mere breath away from becoming a pastor myself. Maybe the peculiarities of the connections between my neurons caused me to interpret the pastor's mannerisms in a totally different way, or maybe I was too busy chewing an especially tough piece of fingernail to hear a crucial sentence that would've changed everything. There are whole reams of reasons why this massively impactful moment in my life could have broken the other way, and I regularly choose to ignore them. I exclude those details in service of telling a more logical narrative.

The same is true for other stories I tell: how I started liking rap music after listening to it on full blast in my teammate's car (many people, including friends of mine, got turned off of rap music precisely because its listeners blasted it on the street), how I never built a great relationship with my siblings because my dad was yelling at us all the time (there are tons of siblings for whom that sort of abuse is galvanizing rather than isolating), how I love writing because I love reading (some of my best friends are avid readers and readily admit to hating their own writing and avoiding the practice at all costs).

It's a lot easier to explain why something happened if you already know it happened. The stories we tell ourselves about our lives are not our lives; they are carefully manicured things, curated for purpose and plot through the darkly tinted lens of hindsight.

Stories are weird. They reside just beyond the uncanny valley of un-reality, contain just enough truth to deceive us into thinking they are all truth, when even the very best stories are but shadows of our indescribably rich and complex lives. But at the same time, stories are an essential component of the human experience. They are the only tool we can use to extract meaning from a sea of chaos. They are our only chance to share all the roiling complexity bubbling up within us, and in so doing, lighten our individual burdens. And so, even though they churn with all this subtle strangeness and false promise, stories are all we really have.

As I reflect back on last year, I can’t help but conceive of the year as a collection of stories. And I already know I'm going to assign a lot of meaning and purpose to those stories, and there are going to be logical cause-and-effect relationships and character motivations and (hopefully) bright throughlines in my reflections. I want to frame all those things appropriately. I don’t want to lose sight of the frailty and myopia of my own constrained perspective. And I'm hoping that after reading this, you’ll be able to frame all the stories you tell yourself with all the subtlety and caution they deserve.

“I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.” -Ecclesiastes 9:11

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Hi, I just saw your post about having an internal emotional hole and i think I can relate to that. ❤️ I was wondering if you had tried doing something charitable such as volunteering to help others? I found that helped a lot with feeling like my life had a purpose again after going through depression.

You already do amazing work with sharing poems and photos from your rare books, btw. ❤️ Maybe you could extend to doing something hands on, volunteer for a couple of days a month at a local community group/hospital etc, or there are things you can do from home such as sewing (I make things for sewing for charity Australia for example). Donating blood is another option.

I just found that anything I could do to help other people started adding to a kind of running tally of self-worth in my head... it really helped me get back on my feet, and out of my own head and circling thoughts, after a traumatic upbringing and I wanted to share it, I hope you don't mind.

I hope you're doing okay and thank you again for all the things you share! ❤️

(I wrote a whole reply and then tumblr deleted it so I’m sorry if this response doesn’t make sense. I’ll try hard to rewrite it though aha 💕)

Thank you for popping it! ☺️💕

I’m sorry that is something you also struggle with :( I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. I truly hope things get a bit easier for you or you find somethings that fill it or make it hurt less. 💕

I would really like to get to the point where I can volunteer. And I’ve tried to get into it with my rehabilitation worker but it never worked out. To put it bluntly I think I’m just too weak willed for it. My PTSD makes it really hard, which is so silly, but I just get these feelings and thoughts of being trapped and stuck in a place or situation with homophobic people where I can’t run away, or if I do run away BAM I’ll be proving them right and they’ll all say stuff about me. Which isn’t logical lol.

There was two places I tried doing volunteer work at. They were both second hand bookstores. There was one and I can normally go in there by myself fine (because I can just up and leave when I need to) but trying to volunteer there was different. I looked up their Instagram page to see who followed them and interacted with a lot / volunteered there, and a lot of them reminded me of the people I had faced homophobia from and I just started freaking out and feeling trapped and locked in. So it was a no go.

The other one I actually went to with my rehabilitation worker (and again I can go into it fine by myself for shopping purposes lol) but I also started feeling trapped and locked in and worried and fearful so we just ended up sitting in park. Tried again and this time was able to walk around the store but I freaked out when the suggestion of volunteer work came up.

It probably sounds strange but along side my stupid PTSD that honestly gets set off so easily at the smallest whiff of sexuality lol, I have a real fear of being locked into something. I genuinely feel like I’m never rarely allowed to say no or walk away from things, which means I want to be 100% sure before I commit. Which is fully unrealistic. But I feel walking away makes me a bad person so I’m not allowed to. It’s why I struggle with people so much as well. Because I’ve been stuck in situations in the past where I wanted to walk away but felt I would be abusive if I did. I eventually crack and do it but it takes way too long. So I get really nervous about getting close to people or committing to things. Simply on the basis that I’m worried I’ll be a “bad person” and not be comfortable lol.

There is another place I’ve looked at for volunteering, but the same issues arise around the fear of my sexuality (which I know probably sounds silly because no one has to know if I don’t tell them, but honestly PTSD isn’t rational ) and being locked in make it hard to take that step. It’s also like an hour and half away so I don’t think my energy levels could handle that.

It probably just sounds like I’m making a heap of excuses though. I mean maybe I am I don’t know lolol.

It REALLY want to get to the point where I can work or volunteer though. Having that structure and being able to contribute and feel a sense of sameness to those around me would be amazing. I guess it might just take a while lol.

I would also love to donate blood but my weight prevents me from being eligible.

That’s definitely part of the reason I put book reviews up here and upload those photos. I figured it’s something I can do it. And it seems to at least make a few people happy so it’s definitely worth it!! And I try t donate to charities when I can. But having something tangible to do one day would be really amazing.

I’m so glad volunteer work was something so helpful for you ☺️💕 and that’s amazing that you did that for Australia!! Thank you 💕💕

Thank you so much for reaching out with such kindness and wonderful advice. And thank you for sharing your story - though I’m so sorry it’s something you had to go through 💕💕 you have a beautiful heart and mind and I hope you have an equally beautiful day and do something nice for yourself

Thank you again for popping in ☺️💕💕💕