#i could do 120 pages of this

[lavenite]

thinkimg about caroline again shes so silly im gonna [REDACTED]

[cosmicatta]

One Piece Novel: Law — a short analysis

So, after a long time trying to get my hands on the Law light novel, I was finally able to read it recently! And, because I'm an obnoxiously intense person who can't just be normal about things, I found myself taking notes about everything I judged interesting.

And I thought I could share! So here's a mostly improvised essay about the Law novel, how it portrays Law and what it reveals about him as a character.

Some notes before I start:

The edition I've read of this novel is the official Spanish translation by Planeta. When quoting and mentioning numbered pages, I'm referencing that edition.

I originally posted this on Twitter as a thread! If it sounds familiar, that might be why.

For those who haven't read the novel and might want to: be mindful of some trigger warnings, including gruesome medical descriptions, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse, and violence in general (I won't be touching on these subjects here though).

These are just my personal impressions, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should interpret the novel or Law's character. I'm just doing this for fun!

The story takes place right after Cora dies, following young Law's journey as he makes it to Swallow Island and desperately tries to survive. There, he will meet Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, as well as Wolf, a novel-exclusive character that welcomes Law and the boys into his home as a family.

Overall, it's a very short read, agile and straightforward. The style is very juvenile, but that was to be expected, and I'd say it does a pretty good job at capturing the feeling of watching a One Piece episode. The novel does kinda feel like a mini arc.

I'm unsure if light novels can be considered 100% canon in general, but since the contents don't contradict anything from what we've already seen in the manga/anime, I'm going to assume we can at least take the events described in this one as canon.

But I'll leave the plot aside a little bit to focus more on Law's psyche, analyzing everything in the novel as material that helps us further understand him.

The entire book (save from a few specific passages) is written from Law's point of view and in first person, so it offers a more in-depth look at his way of thinking, motivations and ideals.

What I find most interesting in this sense is that the whole story is very centered around Law's kindness. Though he does admit several times that he had wanted to see the world burn when he was under Doflamingo's care (as we already know from the source material), the novel makes it very obvious that Law's true nature is compassionate. His inner voice even explicitly states that he enjoys helping and making others happy. (Quotes roughly translated from Spanish):

P. 27: "And I felt very comfortable collaborating with the task of helping others."

P. 92: "Knowing that I was going to free a person from their pain [...] gave me a joy I had never experienced before."

P. 136: "Just imagining the surprised faces of the Old Man, Bepo and the others brought a smile to my face" [when planning on getting fresh fish for dinner as a surprise].

And, despite living under Wolf's motto of "give to take," Law never expects anything in return for any of his good actions. In fact, he gets furious at Wolf himself when, after saving his life, the old man insists on giving Law anything he demands as compensation.

P. 120: "I didn't save you because I wanted a reward!" [...] They [Bepo, Shachi and Penguin] burst into tears of happiness when they realized that you had survived. That's more than enough for me! [...]" I won't let you belittle their tears!"

But even then, Law keeps arguing that he only saved Wolf "on a whim," much like he would say years later when asked why he chose to save Luffy's life. This is a common theme throughout the whole book (which is also pretty obvious in the manga)—Law doesn't recognize his own kindness.

It's not modesty or shyness, his inner monologue makes it very clear that he doesn't see himself as good-natured, and is often confused at his own motivations.

In their first meeting, when Bepo asks him why he is so nice to him, Law doesn't know what to answer; and after that, when Law finds himself wondering why he's trying so hard to save Shachi and Penguin despite their past history, he blames it all on "doctor's pride."

P. 48: "I wasn't even a good person."

Still, regardless of what Law might think of himself, living in Swallow Island seems to be making him progressively gentler. He was wary and hostile towards Wolf at first, but eventually lets himself trust people again, trying to honor Cora's memory and what he taught Law.

In Swallow Island he builds his new found family little by little, though never letting go of Cora and what he meant to Law.

P. 39: "Cora and I were family, that's what I felt at heart, I had no doubts. We had loved each other without saying it out loud [...] Would I feel the same for the Old Man and Bepo eventually?"

Slowly, he starts finding comfort and joy in community. He lets himself be carefree around his new friends, treating them with open affection, laughing and being surprisingly enthusiastic (although he quickly starts taking his role as a leader very seriously, and sometimes avoids showing weakness around them so as not to worry them.)

Law even gets to become an active part of life in Pleasure Town, where he and the other boys are cherished after 3 years living and working there. He's comfortable with his role in the community and appreciates the people in town. His sense of duty towards them shines especially when the pirates arrive to attack the town.

Again, this contrasts with how Law sees himself even in the manga/anime, where he insists that he acts mostly out of selfishness and only seeking his own benefit (or, in the best of cases "on a whim.")

But the truth is that Law's decisions are almost always related to other people's desires.

In this sense, the concept of guilt is also key to understand Law's motivations and his relationship with the world as a whole. This is especially obvious when it comes to Cora—Law even briefly wishes that they had never met, so that Cora would still be alive (p. 128-129.)

In a way, guilt is what moves Law forward, and what slowly starts transforming into a thirst for revenge, into rage and hatred towards Doflamingo and possibly towards himself too. It's a kind of tragic guilt born out of love.

His love for Cora still haunts him, his last wish for Law is the big enigma that he tries to solve during his 3 years in Swallow Island: be free. What is freedom to Law? How can he fulfill Cora's request? This is the question that gives meaning to the novel.

We know that Law wouldn't feel free until finally taking down Doflamingo and avenging Cora's death many years later, but he hasn't reached that point of determination in the novel yet. Maybe that's what gives the narration that hopeful and optimistic tone, with a young Law that's still finding himself, experiencing wonder in loving again, and learning what it means for him to be true to his values. It's the start of an adventure, and its core theme is love.

The ending illustrates this very well; I especially like the moment where Law names the crew as they're setting sail:

P. 243: "Cora's love that he showed me, Wolf's affection, the trust I had in my companions. One word embodied it all: Heart."

It is love that gives Law a reason to keep going. And I'm so glad that the novel doesn't shy away from this fact and isn't afraid of sounding "sappy" or "corny," because I do believe emotion is a very important part of Law's character.

The epilogue closes with a very interesting quote in the last page:

"You hear that, Cora? This is my... This is our pirate crew."

It is unclear if by "our" he is referring to himself and Cora, as if dedicating this new beginning to him, or if he means him and his crew. I'd personally like to think he means it both ways. But in any case, it's interesting that he openly shares the honor of "owning" his crew with someone else. He is the captain, but not the owner. It's another little way in which his generosity is evidenced.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and it left me wanting more. Obviously, it's not a literature masterpiece, but it gives a lot of interesting material for character analysis, which is super fun.

Finally, here’s a few fun facts for those who can’t/don’t want to read the novel but enjoy the little trivia:

The Polar Tang was built and designed by Wolf.

Law’s first tattoo was "DEATH," and he got it at a local tattoo shop in Pleasure Town at around 15 years old.

Shachi and Penguin are childhood friends and likely met through their parents.

Shachi had always wanted to be a hair stylist.

Law is bad at cooking.

Both Shachi and Penguin are good at cooking, especially Penguin, who worked as a waiter in Pleasure Town.

The Hearts’ jolly roger was collectively designed by Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin days before leaving Swallow Island.

Law decided the name of their crew upon setting sail for the first time.

And I think that's all! ♥ I hope my rambling was enjoyable at least!

Edit: I've now posted an analysis of the Ace novels too!

[pokemonshelterstories]

Oooh! Can we hear more about the 120 year old Dragonite? What was it like to work with?

sure! he's a really interesting pokemon. i love working with pokemon that live for a really long time, such as our resident torkoal at the shelter, abuelita.

dragonite is one of the strongest pokemon i've ever met. working with him has always fallen to the head of the clan he belongs to, or whoever is next in line to be head. the dragon trainer in our league, hassel, is his current trainer. hassel lives in artazon with his husband, and he allowed me to work with dragonite so i could train for my dragon-type handling certification.

let me tell you, it wasn't easy! there are very few pokemon i haven't been able to convince to listen to me with a few quick loops from my styler and some treats, but dragonite really made me work for it and put everything i know about training pokemon to the test. it's really incredible to see how much those years of experience do for the way a pokemon holds itself; dragonite definitely knows more about battling than i ever will, and he made it very clear that he wasn't going to listen to me if i gave him a command he thought was stupid. it took a few sessions for us to build up a rapport where he'd let me do anything more than give him "suggestions," and even now he still doesn't always listen to me if i work with him. working with him has made me a much better trainer in terms of showing confidence while giving commands! and it was a good reminder that, even though i'm skilled at working with pokemon, i need to always listen to the signals they're giving me and think things through from their perspective.

my goal is to eventually be on good enough terms with him that he'll let me fly on his back, but that's definitely a long-term assignment. because of how fast dragonite can fly, i don't want to do any flight training with him until i feel like we're completely on the same page.

[pinkhairswagtourney]

please consider helping me with replacing + protecting my insulin !!!

i’ve made a few posts in the last couple of days about my current situation , but i thought i would consolidate it all into one post ;;

hi there ! my name is shroom and i have type two diabetes . i have to take insulin every day to survive – i take my levemir when i wake up and before i go to sleep , and i take my humalog before every meal . 

my younger brother is a nightmare to live with . he abuses me mentally and physically , and nothing is ever done about it . he shoved me down the stairs just a few months ago , leaving me with a permanent knee injury . the other day , he was upset about something completely unrelated to me , and decided to take the rest of my insulin pens out of the fridge and smash them with a hammer .

when i told my father about what happened , he told me that i shouldn’t have kept them in the fridge . for those of you who don’t know , you have to keep your unopened insulin pens refrigerated . once you start using the pen , you can keep it at room temperature . my fathers knows this – i’ve told him several times and his father also had diabetes , it’s just an excuse for him to not have to do anything about my brother’s behavior .

i’m now left with only my two current pens , and my supply is rapidly dropping . at this rate , i have less than a week’s worth , so i’m going to have to start cutting meals and stretching my insulin . to prevent anything like this from ever happening again , i’ve decided to invest in a mini fridge and a new doorknob with a lock for my bedroom .

for a month’s supply of insulin , i have to pay $70 – $35 for three pens of both humalog and levemir . the mini fridge is $28 with $9 in taxes and shipping fees . the cheapest doorknob i could find online that’ll work with my door is $13 . all together , that’s about ~$120 . 

i’ve already had a few very charitable people help me out and i've reopened commissions to help fund this !! if anyone could spare a few dollars , it would mean the world to me !! even reblogging this and spreading the word is highly appreciated

p-pal - ovmasai c-sh-app - $soppdronning commission's page

thank you so much for reading !!!

[backfromtwitterforw]

Pomme's diary found in the place she was with Richas (30 first pages)

Day 117

We walked for so long, longer than a day.

Chayanne thinks we'll be safe if we're far enough. I doubt that, because no matter what threatened us manage to find my secured bunker 200 000 blocks away, and even succeded to get into my room to put its letter. Honestly, I think we'll never be really safe anywhere.

Chayanne was panicking so much that we didn't even have time to prepare stuff before leaving. I tried to talk him out ot it, but they were all already gone and I couldn't leave them alone.

At least, I had the reflex to take one of my scythe. And fortunately so.

During our journey, I had to fight a lot of monsters. It's a miracle we all survived without armor or anything else.

We weren't far from death on multiple occasions.

I'll protect them no matter what.

That's a promise.

Day 118

We could build a little improvised camp. We're exhausted from the walk we had, we don"t have alot but it's better than nothing. The most important for now is to survive.

Dapper made a small makeshift field and planted seeds and potatoeshe had collected along the way, while we prepared tools and cut wood.

Tallulah played the flute to try to confort us and give us courage. She even leanred one of my favorite songs on the flute to try to make me smile again.

We make progress, slowly but surely.

Day 119

I think each one of us has tools now. We continued to gather ressources, especially trying to find enough food for everyone, because Dapper's field is not enough. But we didn't have great success, we have to be comptent with the bare minimum. We'll try to build a small shelter tomorrow.

It's hard to do anything because we are all exhausted from the trip. We found materiel to make sleeping bags, so they will finally be able to rest in better conditions.

I'll try to stand guard and watch over them during the night.

Day 120

We were able to start the construction of a small makeshift shelter. It doesn't look great but at least we have something to be protected now.

Truth be told, I haven't slept in a few days, I cannot allow myself to sleep.

We could be attacked at any time, by monsters or by the thing that threatened us. I'm scared it may trace our steps.

On multiple occasions, Chayanne asked me on multiple occasions to share the watch during the night, but I refused systematically.

I'd rather let him rest, and watch over Tallulah during the day. He's the one she trusts the most, he needs to be there to for her, and to protect her.

But I feel the tiredness winning over me.

I fight against exhaution as hard as I can, but I can see my reaction time and my moves becoming slower.

Day 121

The shelter is almost done, I'm so proud of them. They never let themselves be overwhelmed by fear and they do their maximum for everyone to be safe. We watch over one antother and that warms my heart to see it.

On the other side, food is continuously missing.

It soon gonna become a huge problem if we don't find a solution, we won't be able to hold much longer with the ressources we actually have...

I believe it's been a week I haven't slept, I'm trying to stay awake with always being busy. As soon as I am not, I feel my eyes closing by themselves.

It's especially difficult during the night. I spend them looking at the campfire crackling and making sure it doesn't extinguish by itself. We found material to make a lighter, so I play with it to pass the time: I found out the burning feeling is particularly effective to wake me up.

I miss my parents. I miss them excruciatingly.

It's so hard that they're not here with us. I regret all the time that we couldn't leave any note, any letter. They must be terribly worried for us, i feel terribly guilty...

I hope they won't resent us...

Day 122

Dapper amost died.

Dapper.

Almost.

Died.

We were talking about the pending lack of food, and he suggested we could explore the surroundings to find something to eat. I know exploring is something he adores, and he knows better than anyone the different kinds of existing ressources, so I also thought it was a good idea.

I suggested to come with him, but i assured me I didn't have to worry about him, that it wouldn't take him long to come back, and that it would be better for me to stay with the others to watch over them. So, I accepted. I trusted him.

But he went to fight against a skeleton. Or at least, what looked like a normal skeleton, but it wasn't one; this one had an armor and was able to shoot arrows at an abnormal speed, in addition to having knockback.

He thought it was a normal skeleton and attacked. But the skeleton was stronger and knocked him off.

I ran.

I ran so fast, every second mattered.

He cannot die, not like this, not now.

If he dies, I'll never forgive myself.

I managed to find him, and I could finish the skeleton off.

I ran to him to save him, just in time.

With tears in my eyes, I asked if he was ok and why he wanted to attack that monster way to strong for us even though we have no armor and barely any defense.

He just answered that he wanted bones to make bonemill, to speed up the growth of the seeds in the field. And also because he wanted to make a bone mask for Chayanne, since he didn't have his fetish skull.

He was so nonchalant in explaining it all, as if he didn't care about being do close to death.

[outlanderskin]

Tobias Menzies

I was reading on a card how much would fit in ten years and I saw that in 10 Years

fit 120 Months

521,714 Weeks

3652 Days

87648 Hours

5258880 Minutes

315532800 Seconds.

And even in all this, it doesn't fit what it meant for me to wait for him.

Within these 10 years, there are memories of being persecuted since the beginning when I said that he was my favorite.

All the times, I had to explain the difference between actors and characters for people who hated him because of Frank and BJR.

All the times I've had to say that I really like Sam, but that at the top of my list will always be Tobias, and this isn't a sin.

All the times I said there was no dispute between them.

All the times I was hurt when I saw people from my side of the fandom excluding him from photos or wishing he wouldn't go to some events because it would "take the focus" away from the main actors couple (yes, this stupid thing happened).

I've been in this fandom since the beginning, and anyone who knows me knows that for me, it's always been about him. I'm not someone who started using Tobias to justify hatred or to disguise an unhealthy love for Sam. It was natural from the first day I looked at him. And a thousand times, I've expressed my pride about how private, talented, different, down-to-earth he is.

I've been going to Cons of Outlander since 2015, but he rarely does Cons, I had already met the loves of my fandom friends' lives, but never mine. Until Saturday, April 13, 2024.

When I took the first photo (with him and Sam) and saw him for the first time, everything around me disappeared completely. There he was, finally. I was practically led by my friend, I gathered all the courage to say where I came from, then he blinked, and all my senses and rationality, and 🎶🎶🎶 all that was me, was gone🎶. I don't remember how I left the room, but my friends remember... I needed to be strong, I thought. There would still be three photos with him alone (one of them a gift from much-loved friends), a photo with him and Sophie, and an autograph. I would have to maintain my sanity until then.

For the first time, I understood the fact that Sam Heughan's fans left photo shoots shaking.

During the photo shoot, I spoke quietly, and so did he, and for me, it was like a dance because I said he decided the poses and I followed. I left the session and I want to thank from the bottom of my heart the girl on the team who asked me how I was and I could only say "he's my favorite" and she hugged me.

There was a rush at the autograph, but I gave him a book about theatre from my country, and I believe it was a gift he didn't expect. He thanked me with his hand on his chest, like the gentleman he is and at that moment I wanted to be royalty because I was going to give him all the honors of a noble English knight that I could find in the Buckingham Palace . Do I like British Monarchy? I like Tobias Menzies.

Ah....how I wish I could sit down with him and say he has a fan page that I manage, say that I admire him for being truly discreet in every way. Ask about his process of acting , speak about Stanislavski, Brecht, Ibsen, talk about my experiences in the classroom with The Theater of the Oppressed and say how good is for me to see someone like him acting. But conventions are collective experiences, and there would be no time.

In ten years, a lot can happen... all this time waiting for him. And I would do it all again. Someone like him was worth waiting for.

[queenlua]

ok, this Kevin Woo guy is the most fantastic chad i've heard of in a while:

The journalist who exposed Lambda School wasn't a journalist by trade. Vincent Woo was a successful entrepreneur best known for CoderPad, a collaborative coding website used extensively in programming job interviews. After he sold CoderPad for millions of dollars, he focused on the public interest, such as housing activism.

Woo's work on CoderPad gave him expert insight into the programming job market, and in 2019, Austen's outrageous hiring numbers set off red flags. Whenever pressed for more details on his outrageous claims, Austen said a full report was coming soon, but six months would pass without any updates.

Woo obtained an investment memo Lambda School sent out to Y Combinator titled, "Human Capital: The Last Unoptimized Asset Class." In it, they disclose, “We’re at roughly 50% placement for cohorts that are 6 months graduated,” contradicting the very front page of their website.

Where did the 86% on their homepage come from? In 2018, Lambda School submitted a single report about 72 graduates to CIRR. CIRR is an organization formed by the boot camp industry following the boot camp crackdown of the 2010s, to cleanup their image. Bootcamps are supposed to submit their hiring stats every six months, in one standard format, to prevent underhanded boot camps from fudging the numbers. In two years, Lambda School had produced nothing beyond that single, small report.

Woo reached out to Sabrina Baez, Lambda School's former Director of Career Readiness. Baez oversaw job placement in those early days, and Austen had reprimanded her for low hiring rates. She told Woo that probably only 50% to 60% of graduates found jobs.

Finally, Woo obtained private communications with investors revealing the quiet deals with hedge funds. This flew in the face of their marketing's, "We don’t get paid until you do," and Austen's now-deleted tweet, “We never, ever get paid upfront for ISAs.”

With all the damning evidence, the story was ready. Most reporters would now email their subjects for comment, but Woo elevated the story to performance art. He asked Austen for a recorded interview, without revealing its nature. Austen, lulled into a false sense of security by tech press puff pieces, agreed. What followed was the most riveting hour of tech journalism I've ever heard.

Austen: "Our goal right now, is that if a student is endorsed, call it graduation, that we place 80% within 120 days."

Woo: "Why did you tell investors 50?"

Austen: "What… I don't know… what communication you're referring to."

The interview went downhill from there, as Austen scrambled to invent excuses.

#rekt

bonus: check out this dude's hilariously understated linkedin:

(also, the whole article's worth a read. i'd been following the Lambda School saga for a while but there's a bunch of new fuckery here that even i didn't know about. smh)

[georgescitadel]

George R.R. Martin on the process of creating A Game Of Thrones

You hold in your hands the second volume of A Song of Ice and Fire… but not the second volume as originally intended. Although I wrote the opening of A Game of Thrones back in the summer of 1991, as related in my introduction to the Meisha Merlin edition of that volume, it was not until October of 1993 that I drew up a proposal for my agents to take to publishers. There is no mention of any book titled A Clash of Kings in that proposal. In 1993, I was under the impression that I was writing a trilogy.

Trilogies had been the dominant form in epic fantasy ever since J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings had been broken apart by publishers and released in three volumes. And the story that I wanted to tell divided quite naturally into three parts; much more so, in fact, than The Lord of the Rings, which is actually one fairly seamless narrative, and not a trilogy at all. I planned to title the books A Game of Thrones, A Dance with Dragons, and The Winds of Winter. I knew right from the start that they would all be large books. Huge books, even. But there were to be only three of them, and…and none were to be called A Clash of Kings. Sometimes the author is the last to know.

As I write this, I am halfway through the writing of A Feast for Crows, the fourth volume of my ‘trilogy.’ There is no mention of that title in my 1993 proposal either. These days, when pressed, I confidently assert that A Song of Ice and Fire will ultimately run to six books… but behind my back I know my lady Parris is smiling knowingly and holding up seven fingers. She may be right. Though I may dream of six books, plan for six books, work toward six books, the only thing that truly matters is the story. And the story needs to be as long as the story needs to be.

In Hollywood, the suits will tell you how long that is. A television show has to fit within its allotted time slot, of course, and you cannot beg, borrow, or steal an extra minute, no matter how much the story needs it. Running times are somewhat more flexible for films, though not as much as one might think. For the most part, the studios still want movies to run about two hours, so they look for screenplays of 120 pages or less, and demand cuts in any scripts that come in longer. My own screenplays and teleplays were almost always too long and too expensive in first draft, so in my later drafts, along with addressing the inevitable notes from studio, network, and producers, I was constantly trimming. In the end, I would deliver a shooting script that was the right length and under budget, but it was never a happy process… and I often went away feeling that the earlier drafts were the better ones.

The size of A Song of Ice and Fire was in no small part a reaction to ten years of trimming. I wanted to do something epic in scale, something at once grand and sprawling and complex and subtle, with a cast of thousands, huge battles, mighty castles, gorgeous costume, lavish feast, great rivers, towering mountains, vast fields… all the things I could not do in television. In short. I wanted to make a world. And for that you need a bit of room.

In my original proposal, I estimated that each volume of the trilogy might run as long as 800 pages in manuscript. The novels that I had written during the 70's and 80's, before Hollywood, had generally come in at 400 or 500 pages or thereabouts, so an 800 pages book seemed very lengthy indeed. The three books of the trilogy would be structured around the long, slow seasons of Westeros. A Game of Thrones would be summer’s book, A Dance with Dragons would take us through autumn, and The Winds of Winter… well, the title says it all. Even in the Seven Kingdoms, where a season can last for years, 800 pages ought to give me enough room to reach the end of summer and conclude the part of my tale, I reasoned.

‘Twas a lovely plan of battle… but no plan of battle ever survives contact with the enemy, it has been said. Writers know the truth of that as well as any general, though our wars are fought on blank white sheets of paper and empty computer screens. For the map is not the territory, the blueprint is not the house, the recipe is not the dinner… and the outline is never ever the book.

- George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings Limited Edition Introduction (2002)

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Hi! I recently started playing dnd 5e and realized that all of ur complaints about it are absolutely true, do u have recommendations for some other ttrpg games that arent TOO complicated for beginners

If you want something that's on the same vein as D&D but a lot more beginner-friendly I can't recommend The Black Hack enough. It's like a super-streamlined version of D&D, which simplifies most mechanics while still maintaining compatibility with most D&D materials (mostly old-school D&D but I'm sure you could also convert most modern D&D stuff to it without much effort). The entirety of The Black Hack 1e fits in 20 pages (The Black Hack 2e clocks in at 120-ish pages but most of those are tables and random generators).

In terms of mechanics, it uses the same six-stat array as D&D, but does away entirely with ability bonuses and skills, instead turning all checks into d20 roll-under rolls vs a relevant ability score (e.g if you're trying to do something that involves Strength and your strength score is 13, you roll a d20, you succeed if you roll 13 or less, and fail if you roll more than 13). This extends to combat, you use a Strength or Dexterity roll to attack (depending on if it's a Melee or Ranged attack) and a Dexterity roll to dodge enemy attacks.

It also simplifies keeping track of consumable and stackable items such as arrows with the concept of usage dice (basically, you assign a die to the stack of items, every time you use them you roll that die, on a 1-2 you reduce it to the next smallest die size, and once it's at d4, a roll of 1-2 means you run out)

It also uses my favorite simplified initiative system: when combat starts, the whole party rolls a dexterity roll. Everyone who succeeds gets to act before the enemy group, everyone who fails acts after the enemies.

It has no races and only uses the four "original" D&D classes (Fighter, Thief, Magic user, Cleric), but if you miss those things, fanmade supplements like The Class Hack and The Race Hack add in some of the races and classes from AD&D and modern D&D)

Another game that might be a good fit is Knave. A lot of what I've said about The Black Hack with regards to compatibility with D&D material applies to it too, although it's mechanically different from TBH. It instead does away with ability scores and uses only ability bonuses, and it's more like a classless system where characters are defined by their equipment rather than their class features.

[blueybre]

Jacky93Sims' 4t2 Functional VR Headset - Bugfixes and New Features

So I have been playing with the 4t2 Functional VR Headset by @jacky93sims for a while now. While it is an amazing thing to have it at all, I immediately noticed some weird things going on in my game whenever I tried to use it. Initially I just wanted to get rid of these weird things, but this sparked a big makeover of the entire mod's functions, as I felt this object could do so much more with a bit of BHAV magic.

Most importantly, Sims can now use the VR headset autonomously, gain Science enthusiasm (because waaaay too few objects benefit that hobby) and Fitness through it, you are no longer prompted to take a screenshot whenever a Sim puts the headset on or off, and the headset will no longer kill Sims if you leave them unattended.

Note that the download link only includes the main object containing all the code! Please go to the original download page to grab the headset accessory and the child, teen and adult meshes, too.

DOWNLOAD

The complete changelog is under the cut, if you are interested in the other ways I have changed this object up.

NEW FEATURE: All interactions are now autonomous! All Sims can play or work out if they seek Fun, but Playful Sims are more likely to play with it, and Active Sims are more likely to work out on it.

NEW FEATURE: Sims now gain Science hobby enthusiasm when playing or working out, at a default of 120% the normal speed. (Requires FreeTime, but you can use this updated version without FT, too.)

NEW FEATURE: Sims now gain Fitness when working out. By default the rate is about 50% faster than working out on stereos, to justify the hefty price tag.

CHANGE: Slightly more Fun gain while playing (40/hour -> 50/hour). In turn, higher Energy (-5/hour -> -20/hour) and Comfort loss (none -> -20/hour).

CHANGE: Slightly more Energy (-10/hour -> -20/hour), Comfort (-10/hour -> -25/hour) and Hygiene (none -> -25/hour) loss. Removed the weird fixed -2 Comfort loss when putting the headset on. Active Sims now only gain 50% more Body skill when working out with the VR headset; other Sims still retain the base 150% skill rate gain. I feel like VR would close the skill gap a bit, so...

CHANGE: Made all the gain and loss tunable for those that know their way around SimPE and can change BCON resource 0x1000 (for playing) and 0x1002 (for working out).

CHANGE: Looped the "jumping jack" and "jog" workout animations three times, and slowed them down. Looped the "knee-bend", "stretch side" and "stretch toes" animations twice. It all looked quite odd being at normal speed.

CHANGE: Added a dialogue when a Body Skill point is gained.

CHANGE: Clarified that the object requires University through the catalogue, because it uses a SimVac animation. I also adjusted the catalogue values for Fun (N/A -> 10) and Environment (6 -> 8).

CHANGE: Added a German translation.

CHANGE: Removed some unnecessary resources.

CRITICAL BUGFIX: Sims will now stop using the headset if their fun is maxed or their motives are failing (same thresholds as with any other "Fun" object), so they don't play or work out until they drop dead. This is a similar issue to an unmodded Exercise Bike from FT.

BUGFIX: You are no longer prompted to take a picture when a Sim puts on or takes off the headset. Maybe @jacky93sims did this to create a bit of immersion, but I did not like it.

BUGFIX: Motive changes are now cleared after taking the headset off. Previously, Sims would keep gaining Fun and losing Energy and/or Comfort even after stopping to use the headset.

BUGFIX: If a Sim doesn't have enough room to play or work out after already having strapped the headset on, the "in use" flag and overlays will now properly reset.

[vii0so]

[BSD 120] Theory/Analysis

These are my first thoughts on parts of chapter 120. It includes my personal interpretations and theories of certain things.

Warning: Spoilers ahead

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

1. Akutagawa & "True strength"

In my previous theory, I believed Rashoumon was in control of Aku's body (hence the old speech and clothing choice).

In BSD, abilities are the soul. "True strength" and "within yourself" could point to Rashoumon.

It could be that Akutagawa has inherited the purpose of his ability (Rashoumon). Therefore unlocking its full potential and or memories. Hence the drastic change that Atsushi sees.

The "purpose" stuff was another thing I briefly mentioned in my previous theory. In short: Purpose = job (e.g. the bookmark)

"This blade serves the heavens"

This blade = "I" (Akutagawa/Rashoumon)

The heavens = probably "the book"

"This soul follows the path of righteousness"

This soul = Rashoumon

This would mean: Rashoumon is righteous.

"The path of the knight"

Knight = Protector/Defender

This could mean Rashoumon is the book's protector.

So his purpose could be the book's "Knight", just like Atsushi is the book's "Bookmark".

If we want to say it in book terms, it'd be the book's cover.

─────────────✧

"Idea. Will. All are empty."

This is directed at Akutagawa. Saying that he has no individual thoughts or will, he is just an empty shell.

I believe this can be seen as saying "You're a puppet."

This could mean that the current Akutagawa is like this because his role as the "knight" is needed (A god-level threat to the book has appeared and needs to be dealt with).

Meaning, it could very well be his soul's (Rashoumon's) purpose (the knight) has taken control. Making him a puppet with the only thing moving him being his purpose.

─────────────✧

███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

2. The higher dimension

First off: If we think of the real world where we are, then the BSD universe would be a "lower dimension" to us.

In BSD, the book can change/shape their world and therefore is part of the "higher dimension"

Basically, anything that doesn't follow the law of abilities and/or our everyday normal earth standards, can be considered as a higher dimensional being/thing.

As Fyodor explained: Stabbing a page will "kill" the character drawn on it. No matter how OP they are, they will never be able to perceive our dimension (reality) and therefore will not be able to stop it.

To make it easier: An author can write a story where the mc faces an enemy and dies. The author controlled the story/fate of the mc. The mc would never be able to stop that from happening.

...Actually this example would be closer to what the book does...they are a similar plane of existence but not the same. Fyodor's example is better for Ame-no-Gozen though.

─────────────✧

Let's think of it the other way around to better explain:

In short: if you were to write/draw a character, that character would never directly be able to harm you or interact with you. That's because we're in a higher dimensional plane of existence.

Stories may just be fiction to us but to the characters they are real, just like life for us is real.

When a character becomes aware that there is a higher dimension/they are in a story, they still can't physically/directly interact with our world. The most they can do, is "break the 4th wall" and indirectly interact with the audience (e.g. talking to/looking at the camera/us).

─────────────✧

Random:

The book is a higher plane of existence than anything in the BSD universe. Hence why anything written in it becomes the truth.

Ame-no-Gozen is a lower dimension than the book.

Therefore, if someone wrote Ame-no-Gozen out of existence in the book, it would be considered true and he'd be gone.

─────────────✧

█████▒▒▒▒▒

3. Fyodor's Plane

This entire "plane to board" thing has had me worried since the previous chapter.

I know they want us to think of this:

But it still feels odd. He gets on that, becomes undetectable. Is that what he's really planning to do though?

He says it's not his concern (whether they live or die) but it seems like a definite lie. In one way or another, it matters.

He seems to be in a hurry. It doesn't seem fake, in actuality it seems like he's trying to hide how urgently he needs to leave.

He completely dropped the whole "Dazai wasn't it so I'll just take Atsushi" and switched to "I don't care whether any of you die".

Honestly, he probably decided to drop the "other half" stuff when he realised Atsushi didn't have the same thoughts as the tiger.

And the "idc what happens to you lol" is more like "I need to leave quickly so let's stop here" which shows urgency.

Which means, Fyodor has somewhere to be...and fast.

Okay, this next theory is a long shot even for me, but what if he needs to get to Sigma before he wakes up?

Don't ask me why, I'm not sure. But it sure is something to think about. It's time-sensitive and we're aware that Sigma hasn't woken up yet. It seems to fall into place with the urgency.

─────────────✧

███████▒▒▒

4. Fukuzawa's Survival

This seems like a challenge to battle but Fukuzawa knew there was no way of fighting Ame-no-Gozen. So who is he challenging?

Fyodor.

Yep, Fukuzawa will fight Fyodor...

All the people (including me) that believed Fukuzawa will die at some point in the story, might be right after this battle.

Why does he say it like that?

And why does he look like he hesitated?

I checked the Japanese and it's: 特には (toku-ni-ha)

Which means:

Note: The "ha" (pronounced "wa") is a particle.

Fyodor, what do you mean?! Is it that you care about his survival "in particular" or "not particularly"? (...I should just leave this to those who are fluent in Japanese. I'm overcomplicating stuff again.)

Anyway, I feel like there's more to this than what we're seeing (Or maybe I just forgot something...)

─────────────✧

5. Where's Rampo?

...no, seriously, where is he during all this?

He's probably doing stuff in the background to help fix this situation but we haven't even seen a glimpse of him since Fyodor came back.

Maybe we'll see him during the Fyodor vs Fukuzawa fight.

─────────────✧

██████████ Completed!

TLDR:

Akutagawa is basically Rashoumon right now.

Akutagawa is the book's "cover" (protector/knight)

Higher & lower dimension = Pretty much the same difference between us and any character in BSD.

Fyodor may need to get to Sigma before he wakes up. Hence the urgency to leave the fight.

Fukuzawa might die fighting Fyodor.

[transhuman-priestess]

How I Scan Negatives

I've been doing film photography for 3 whole weeks so of course I am now an expert and you should toooooootally listen to me for my expert opinion on this matter.

But in seriousness, this post isn't meant to be a how-to guide, but if you can glean some useful information from it, that's really neat and I'm glad.

Part 1: The Scanner

There are a couple different ways to scan negatives. The simplest is known as camera scanning, and that just means you use some kind of backlight and take a close-up picture of a negative with a digital camera of some kind.

I've done a couple of scans like this but since it ideally relies on a macro lens, something which costs about $300 at a bare minimum, and more if you want one that's actually, yknow, good. Also, camera scanning inherently limits you to one picture at a time.

So my scanner is a flatbed Epson "Perfection" V600. I purchased this scanner because it is the least expensive flatbed scanner you can find that also does transparencies. It can scan 12 35mm negatives or two 6x9cm 120 negatives at a time. The Perfection V850 can do a full 36 exposure roll of 35mm but costs 4.33x as much.

So this thing is fine.

The first step is to cut my negatives up. This isn't as horrifying as it sounds. I have binder pages that hold 6 6-exposure strips, so a full roll of 35mm (which i will from here on out refer to with the slightly antiquated but slightly faster to type "135") takes up a single page.

Next, I mount them in the handy negative mounting frame that Epson provides, and put it in the scanner.

Now we can move on to the actual scanning.

Part 2: Scanning Software

This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most irritating part of the whole ordeal. There's lots of decent scanning software out there, but there's fewer options for really good scanning software. Most of the "automatic" stuff sucks at being automatic so I end up doing most of it manually.

The scanner comes with the inventively named "Epson Scan," which is a very competent program if you want to scan and don't care about dust and scratches on your film. That is because I have yet to figure out what combination of options actually gets it to properly remove dust and scratches. This is mandatory, because I do not have $10,000 to spend on an industrial-grade negative pressure ventilation system for my bathroom/processing lab. Dust is avoidable, but ultimately inescapable.

The ins and outs of dust and scratch removal are interesting but not interesting enough for me to do a deep dive on them. The very short version is that the scanner scans every frame twice, once with visible light and once with infrared, and overlays the information from these to get rid of dust and scratches.

So instead of using the admittedly competent pack-in software, I opted to purchase SilverFast 9 SE. I paid $49 USD for this because I could not find a cracked version of the full-featured "HDR Suite" version and, frankly, i haven't missed the additional features.

SilverFast has a wizard option (Do they still call it that?) that walks you through the various steps of scanning. I haven't used it since my first roll.

The first step is to do a "pre-scan", which just scans the whole thing at a low resolution so you can pick the frames out of the lineup.

This is my screen at this point. The first step is to draw around the individual frames. This takes about 5-10 minutes depending on how anal i'm being about framing and overscan.

Now that i've let the computer pick the frames to save time for demonstration purposes manually picked my frames its time to boost the scan resolution from a postage-stamp 300 pixels per inch to an actually-usable 3200. You'll also note that i'm scanning these as "positives" rather than negatives. The "negative" scan option adds something called "Negafix" that i cannot turn off and that tries to color-correct for the negative stock's film base color. It is monumentally bad at this unless your stock is pre-loaded in its database which, as far as I can tell, hasn't been updated since 2005. We'll deal with that later though.

Now that we have the basic setting defined we go over to the "frame" menu seen above and copy these settings to all frames. I could set them manually, but copying settings over is the one thing this software is good at doing automatically. This may have something to do with the fact that it is essentially copy-and-paste, which you may recognize as a basic feature of every computer since 1987.

Occasionally, and unpredictably, the scanning software will turn on "Unsharp Masking." The wikipedia page on this option will explain it. I will not, because my contempt for the option rivals my contempt for the Republican Party, The Catholic Church, and Portland's insistence on driving 5 below the limit on the highway. I turn it off and if I could i would find whoever invented this option and eat their dog.

Once that is turned off we get to turn on the most beautiful option that SilverFast 9 SE has to offer, iSRD. iSRD is the previously-mentioned scratch-and-dust removal.

I have found that, in this one instance, the automatic settings are completely acceptable to me. They eliminate most of the really problematic dust in high-detail areas. The hairs and dust that gets left behind is usually easy to deal with via clone stamp later.

Now that the boring stuff is out of the way we get to the tedious, yet, to me at least, fun part. Histogram adjustment!

What you're seeing here is a histogram, its a graphical representation of the brightness of an image. Our goal with this is to maximize the dynamic range of the image. All that blank space to the right of the "mountains" (and some of the "lowlands" on the left) need to be eliminated so that the file can use as much of the bandwidth they have for actual useful image file stuff. This is pretty simple. We just slide those little arrows until they bound the mountains better.

Once we do this we can check the output histogram and see how it's mapped all the image data to the full bandwidth.

This has to be done individually per-frame, since each frame is slightly different.

Now that's done we can actually scan. I use the "Batch Scan" function, which scans everything one-after-the-other. I'm not going to show the dialog windows because 1.) its boring and 2.) I don't want to reconfigure the save path the way I did for the above images. It's a privacy thing.

After we've scanned everything its time to move on to...

Part 3: Color Grading

This is the part you've never heard about before. It's the most involved, and the most important, and it's worth getting into why.

Computers are amazing at storing information, at sorting information, at rearranging and processing information, but they are fundementally incapable of the most important part of dealing with information, assigning meaning.

I'm sure a lot of folks are going to be very very angry at me for saying that, but I actually don't care, and what's more, I'm confident the computer scientists I know will agree with me.

Film is better at storing images than computers. Period, this is a physical fact. The amount of dynamic range and resolution contained in film exceeds the ability of computers to contain it completely. So scanning is always going to be about compromises. You're trying to maximize the amount of useful information you can see by eliminating as much of the un-useful information as you can. But the computer doesn't actually know what is and isn't useful, so we have to tell it.

In order to do this, we use image editing software. I know a lot of photographers who swear by Photoshop, but fuck Adobe, and I know a lot of photographers who love GIMP, but GIMP's user interface is so convoluted as to be detrimental to my purposes. So I use Paint.NET, which is Windows-only, a fact which is sure to get me hate mail from several users including one of my best friends. (Sorry, Murder*.)

Here we have an unaltered** negative. There's a bit of overscan you can see on the left side of the image, and obviously its currently in portrait orientation. Before we go any further, I'm going to fix both of these things.

I like to crop my negatives in a 3:2 ratio. This is the natural aspect ratio of 135 film, and i like that similitude. Paint.NET lets me set a fixed aspect ratio for selections, which is nice

Now that the overscan has been cropped out and the picture is rotated properly, we can invert the image to a positive, and here is where it will become apparent to you exactly why color grading is important, and why there's no such thing as an "pure scan".

Wow! That's very...blue? Well, yes, it is. Color negative film mostly has an orange base. This helps compensate for shortcomings in the dyes used, and those shortcomings are why we have to color grade. The next step I take is to open the "levels" controls, where you'll see our old friend, the histogram!

This histogram looks different, but it's the same basic concept, with the difference that this program lets me adjust red, green, and blue individually. You'll also note that the individual RGB histograms broadly look similar, just out of sync. This is because of the orange base. They won't always look that similar, and in this case it's largely because the sky was overcast that day and there's a large amount of gray in the entire image.

We're going to adjust the input histogram first. Here, our goal is to map the maximum amount of dynamic range possible to the final image. Color balance is not yet important. So we slide the little arrows up and down from the top and bottom so that as much of them fill the output histogram as possible without clipping.

What is clipping? Clipping is when the black or white levels "blow out". Some clipping is acceptable in some images. A bright, sunny day will invariably have some clipping, and if you go out of your way to avoid it the image will look weird and flat. But in a picture like this where everything is muted and gray, we want to avoid it.

Clipping, by the way, looks like this, and is why i don't let the computer automatically adjust the level balance. Some people like this look with the deep black shadows, I do not.

But, onto doing it the Proper*** way

You can see the image is looking a lot better, but it still has a notably off color cast to the image. Its kind of green. Now we can move on to adjusting the output histogram. There's two ways to deal with this. We can adjust the input red, but this will result in highlight clipping. I actually don't mind highlight clipping as much, and in this case we have several red lights in the image both on the BMW and the crossing gate, so we're going to adjust that input histogram.

Truthfully, I should have thought of this before picking this image to do a demonstration on, but at this point its too late to turn back, and like I keep saying, this isn't a "how-to" guide.

So we still have a bit of a color cast, but its (mostly) in the midtones. Now it's time to bring out our secret weapon: gray balance, also known as neutral point or gray point.

That middle slider can be adjusted for red, green, and blue independently, and that's exactly what we're going to do.

This looks, for the most part, very good. I'll probably go back and tweak the gray points in the red and green a bit more, and i often go through these steps 2-3 times, repeating with finer adjustments before finally confirming the changes.

Truthfully, I don't remember if the BMW was pure white or eggshell white, so i'm going to err on the side of "eggshell" because the rest of the image looks weirder if i adjust for that white to be "pure".

And now, Voila! A fully color-graded image.

Does it look exactly like it did IRL? No, not quite, but again, scanning is all about compromise. I'm sure someone with more experience could do a better job than me, but the point here isn't to show you how to make things perfect, it's to show how I, Ivy Michaels do this.

If you made it through this far, congratulations! I love you! I hope you found this interesting. Thanks for reading <3

*Murder is e's actual name.

** i have censored the license plate of the 25-year-old BMW in my shot out of privacy concerns. It is not my car, and i do not know the owner. The negative has not been cropped, rotated, inverted, or graded in any way. Only the license plate has been removed by select-and-stretch. *** Despite my repeated slides into "we/us" language, this is not a how-to and is not intended to be a statement of objective correctness. It is "correct" in the sense of "correct to my personal workflow"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA? I tried to ruin a small business's reputation.

[20F] I went to a clothing store in which they sew the clothes themselves. There is a number of designs and colors you could choose from and if your size isn't available or you wanted to add your own spin on it, they can make one on request but it's basically 40% more expensive. And you're supposed to pay percentage of the price as a down payment in case they make the dress and you fail to pick it up.

Such businesses are common in my country and it was my first time going to this particular place. I'm plus size and tend to have the clothes tailored to my specific size because my size is rare.

Anyway, there was a very killer design that I loved for an outfit that was basically a skirt and a lab coat sorta look. I tried the available size but it was too tight on me so I asked them make one with my measurements and while I was at it, I chose the blue color which is my favorite. 💙 I clearly said blue and nodded when they grabbed the blue fabric. The outfit costs what would be about 120$ and I foolishly chose to pay around 80$ because I didn't have change on me and down payments are cash only, they don't accept credit cards. And by the way, that's a LOT of money in our currency but I thought nothing of it as I was never let down before by these businesses and I needed the outfit to be more comfortable at work.

Not sure what happened but when I came to pick it up, the outfit was gray. 👎 I said that wasn't what I ordered and the cashier gaslighted me into believing I chose gray and for a split second I started believing I somehow chose gray because the blue fabric was kinda pale, then I noticed the pale blue fabric right behind the gray one and pointed at it telling them it was my order and I stood my ground and insisted my order was blue. We kept arguing back and fourth and I told her to make another one. She refused because "the business will lose if they do that." I said that's not my problem and I want the blue outfit, they can put this one for sale to mitigate the loss. She refused because they will have to sell it for a cheaper price plus I was too fat and nobody will probably look for this specific size and once again said it wasn't my problem. She said it was criminal of me to deny "a perfectly great outfit" just based on its color and I told her blue was my favorite color and I refuse to leave without them agreeing to make a new order order, I certainly would have just left if I haven't paid that down payment.

Then she decided to pin the blame of her mistake (she was the one who took my order) on the expat tailor and tried to make him responsible for paying for the difference. I was unsure of what to do and I didn't want the poor overworked guy to pick the slack for someone else but at the same time I wanted the blue outfit. Seeing that I was firm she basically said she would give me a discount. I refused multiple times while she insisted.

Honestly I'm a socially anxious weak pushover that only very recently started learning and practicing to stand on my own that I was surprised I had stayed firm during this whole ordeal, but I was reaching a limit and the employee was clearly stronger than me. She wore me out and basically got me to accept the discount against my will. The discount was only about 15$ and I left very unsatisfied and upset. I complained go my sister who was with me when I made the order and she told me I was absolutely scammed and she wished she was there when I picked it up to stand up for me. I felt upset and taken advantage of, I was too disgusted by the outfit and I ended up only wearing it twice. I have no problem with gray by itself but this whole experience absolutely ruined it for me and I relapsed into feeling absolutely weak and useless like I used to be my whole life.

Apologies if I had done any AH move so far but if there was, I think I was justified but here's the AITA part of the story: in my frustration I opened their Google page to write a bad review but was shocked the page didn't even exist so I turned to their Anstagram page and I wrote several bad reviews and complains ON EVERY SINGLE POST THEY MADE. I wanted people to be aware of the problem. I also told everyone I knew. I say "tried" in the title because my attempt didn't even impact them, they didn't bother contacting me after I spammed their page with probably 40 negative comments and the business is still going strong.

AITA?

[fanfics4all]

Fainting

Request: Yes / No Thank you @badthingshappenbingo​ for my card! 

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Fangs Fogarty x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 3747

Warnings: Bulimia, Self-harm, Starvation

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

Prompt(s):

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Fangs and I have lived together for about a month now, and in that month I’ve managed to hide the fact that I fucking hate my body. No one knew and I was too worried about being judged to tell anyone. I knew deep down that Fangs would never judge me, I mean we’ve been dating for three years now, but the voices always win in the end. So that’s why I spend a lot of time in the bathroom whenever Fangs goes out without me. 

“I’ll be back in a bit, babe!” Fangs called. He was going out with Pea for a job with the Serpents. 

“Okay! Be careful!” I called back. Ironic I’m telling him to be careful when I sit at home and throw everything up. 

“I will, love you!” He said. 

“Love you too!” I said and heard the door close behind him. I waited a bit to make sure Fangs wouldn’t walk back in because he forgot something. The last time that happened I pretended to shower so he wouldn’t hear me. Once I was sure he wouldn’t come back I got off our bed and walked into the bathroom. I pulled out the scale and took a deep breath before I stepped on it. I closed my eyes and tried my best not to shake. I took another calming breath and slowly peeled my eyes open to look at the horrid number. 130 pounds… I sighed, at least I lost two pounds since yesterday. I didn’t really eat anything yesterday. Or the day before. Or the day before that. In fact, I couldn’t really remember the last time I ate a proper meal in which I didn’t throw up a few hours later while Fangs was asleep. It was probably a year ago? Someone at school made a comment about me that I brushed off in the moment, but it was like a silent switch flipped in my brain. After that, I went home and stared at the mirror, noticing all the imperfections about myself. That was the day I decided to lose weight. When normal methods weren’t working, I turned to the extreme. It was the only thing that gave me results… It didn’t help that I started comparing myself to people Fangs talked to. The girls were way prettier than I am. The boys were skinnier than me. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Fangs chose me out of everyone. I couldn’t think of any reasons that Fangs stayed with me all this time, or even why he asked me to move in with him after my trailer burnt down. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy with Fangs, but something in my head just isn’t on the same page as my heart. 

I sighed and looked down at the number once again. 130 pounds. It was below the average weight of my age group, but 120 or even 110 would be way better. I stepped off the scale and looked at myself in the mirror. 

Look at your thighs, they’re so fat. Don’t forget that huge stomach of yours. Did you see that girl he was talking to at the bar last week? Now she was perfectly skinny. The perfect body. 

I sighed and ran my fingers over my body. Fat. That was all I could feel. I was fucking fat. No matter how little I eat, or how much I worked out. I will always be fat. Fat and fucking ugly. I would never be perfect like those people Fangs talk to. I took off my clothes and looked in the mirror again. I stared at my stomach. Even though the scale says I got smaller, to me it looks like my stomach has grown another twenty pounds. My stomach growled as I lightly touched it. I hated the hunger pains, but the feeling of emptiness was too addictive. I love feeling like I finally was in control of my body. I moved my hands down to my thighs and felt the small scars that were slightly raised. When I first started that’s how I would punish myself when the workouts didn’t work, or if I gained another pound or two. That didn’t last long since Toni found out and told Fangs. I wasn’t too attached to the cutting, so that was easy to stop. The sharp pain as the razor glided through my skin, pulling beads of crimson up through the cut, wasn’t as good as the starving. It didn’t make me feel better like not eating. I shook my head and glanced over at the toilet. I’ve become very acquainted with it. My head was shoved inside it at least twice a day. Sure my stomach was empty, but I knew I could still get some stuff out of me. I kneeled down and gently lifted the lid. I stared down into the toilet and took a few breaths. Throwing up on an empty stomach always hurt, but it was worth it to lose those few pounds. I opened my mouth and took my pointer finger into my mouth. I slowly pushed it to the back of my throat and gagged once I found the spot. I was good at not pulling my finger out when I gagged now, so I just kept pushing on it. My stomach was screaming in pain as it tightened with each gag. It took a few minutes, but eventually, I felt the burning creep up my throat. I pulled my finger out and leaned over the toilet. I watched as the bile flew into the water and already felt a little lighter. It wasn’t much, but every little bit helps. I took a few breaths to recover and quickly pushed my finger back inside my mouth. Once again it took a bit, but I eventually threw up more bile. It still wasn’t enough though. I kept going and going until my head started to spin. I felt really dizzy and weak, but it was working. I felt lighter. I kept going until black dots invaded my vision. I fell back on my ass and held my head. 

“J-Jus-st a b-bi-it mo-ore…” I slurred to myself. I tried to get back up so I could finish, but I just fell to the floor more and my vision turned completely black… 

*Fangs POV* 

I walked back into the trailer with a smile as I carried some Pop’s for me and Y/N. I placed the bags and drinks on the coffee table and noticed Y/N wasn’t there. Must be in our room with her laptop or something. 

“Babe, I’m back! I brought Pop’s.” I called but got no answer. 

“Baby?” I called again, thinking she couldn’t hear me. Still nothing. 

“Y/N, you asleep or something?” I said as I walked towards our bedroom. She wasn’t there. I furrowed my brows and wondered if maybe she went out with Toni or something. I pulled out my phone and called her. I heard her phone ring and followed it to the bathroom. I quickly hung up and walked over to the bathroom. The shower wasn’t running so she should have heard me. 

“Y/N? Baby? You in there?” I asked as I gently knocked. No answer. My heart started pounding faster and I quickly opened the door. I stopped in shock as I stared inside the bathroom. Y/N was lying on the floor, looking unnaturally skinny and there was vomit in the toilet. I quickly rushed over to her and checked her pulse. The small thump from her neck made me sigh in relief. I carefully pushed my hands under her and lifted her up. I gasped when I felt how light she was. How did I not notice how much weight she lost? How did I not notice how her bones were starting to be visible through her skin. I shuddered and felt tears pushing themselves to the surface. How the hell could I be such a shitty boyfriend and not realize the love of my life was putting herself in so much danger. I carefully made my way to our room and gently laid her down. I grabbed one of my shirts and carefully put it on her, she was drowning in it. I tucked her in so she wouldn’t get cold and checked that she was breathing again. I sighed and left to deal with the bathroom. Once I was done cleaning I grabbed her some water and placed it on the nightstand. I pulled up a chair and sat next to her. I stoked her hair and tried my hardest to think of what could have made her do this, or even when she started. I blamed myself for not seeing anything different. I believed every smile Y/N always put on. Every laugh she made. How the hell did I not see anything!? I tried to calm myself down, but I was so angry with myself. Maybe even a very small part of me was mad at her for not coming to me, but I pushed that away. I shouldn’t be mad at her, she needs me more than ever. I grabbed my phone and decided to call Toni and see if she knew anything about this. 

“Hey Fangs, what’s up?” She answered after the second ring. 

“Did you notice anything off about Y/N lately?” I asked, getting right to the point. 

“Uh, no? Why? What’s up?” She asked, worry clear in her voice. 

“I came home and she was passed out in the bathroom with vomit in the toilet. She’s really fucking skinny Toni…” I said, feeling a tear involuntarily fall down my cheek. 

“What? How skinny?” She asked. 

“Like I can see her ribs starting to poke out.” I answered and she gasped. 

“W-What? H-How?” She asked and I sighed. 

“I don’t know, T. I didn’t notice anything different…” I said quietly. 

“How? Have you guys not… ya know?” She asked and my eyes widened. 

“We’ve both been busy, but every time she’s just wanted to ya know, please me…” I said and felt my stomach turn slightly. She’s been hiding this for so long… 

“Shit Fangs, are you at the hospital? Want me and Pea to come by?” She asked and I shook my head. 

“I just have my bike and I-I don’t know what the hell they’ll do to her. I’m scared to take her there. What if they say she’s dying, or they lock her up, or I don’t know…” I sighed. 

“Fangs if she’s really bad you’ve gotta take her to the hospital, they’ll help her.” She said, gently. 

“Toni I can’t, what if she never forgives me for that? Clearly, she’s been hiding this for a while I don’t want her to hate me…” I said, fully crying by now. 

“Listen, Fangs, you wanna help her, right?” She asked with a sigh. 

“Yes…” I whispered. 

“Then you gotta take her. I’ll call Pea and we can use his truck, okay?” She asked and I shook my head again. 

“Can’t I just wait till she wakes up? They’re gonna keep her there for who knows how long.” I said and she sighed. 

“I don’t think you should wait. What if this isn’t the first time she’s passed out?” She asked and my eyes widened. I didn’t think about that. 

“J-Just let me wait till she wakes up first. Let me talk to her.” I begged and she sighed. 

“Fine, but you call me after, you got it?” She asked. 

“I promise.” I said and she sighed again. 

“I’m still calling Pea and letting him know what’s going on.” She said and I sighed. 

“Fine, just keep him from barging in, I don’t wanna scare her.” I said and she agreed. We said our goodbyes and hung up. 

I sat there in silence as I just stared at Y/N. I couldn’t stop thinking about how awful I am for not noticing anything. She hid it really well, which hurt. I had stopped crying but didn’t bother wiping my face. I just held her hand and stared at her. That’s when she started shifting. She slowly opened her Y/E/C and looked around for a moment before they landed on my dark brown ones. Neither of us moved or made a sound, just stared at the other. 

“I’m sorry…” She mumbled after a moment. She looked down and a tear rolled down her cheek. 

“Never. I mean never, do that again.” I choked out as my tears returned. Y/N looked up silently and reached up with her other hand to wipe away my tears. 

“You shouldn’t cry over me, I’m not worth it…” She whispered as she continued to caress my cheek. I felt the anger return and pulled back from her. 

“No Y/N! Don’t you ever think that! You’re more than worth it, you’re my perfect girl. I don’t understand why you even thought you needed to lose weight in the first place, but you’ve always been perfect! You’re beautiful, funny, caring, and amazing! I love you, I always have. I can’t stand seeing you do this to yourself when you don’t need to. I saw what was in the toilet, when was the last time you ate?” I asked and she had more tears falling down her gorgeous face. 

“I-I don’t know. Yesterday at lunch? I don’t know. I-I…” She started crying harder. I pulled her in for a gentle hug and stroked her hair. 

“How long have you been doing this babe?” I whispered. 

“A-A ye-year…” She answered between sobs. My heart broke and I sighed. I held her for a bit longer and gently pulled her back once she calmed down a bit. 

“Baby, you need to eat and actually keep it down. You need to get better, Y/N. Please.” I said and she shook her head. 

“I-I can’t! Looking at all those people that you talk to, they’re so much prettier than me! They’re skinnier, hotter, cooler, everything! Those people at school made me realize that I’m never going to be like them. I’m never going to be good enough for you…” She said, sobbing into her hands. My eyes widened as I stared at her. Who the fuck said that to her? She’s always been perfect, my everything… I gently pulled her hands away and tried to catch her eyes, but she avoided me. 

“Y/N, look at me, please?” I asked quietly. She looked up and she looked so broken. 

“Y/N Y/L/N, I love you more than anything. I always have and I always will. No one in this damn world could ever compare to you, baby. You’ve always been my number one and I have never even thought of another person. Guy or girl. You don’t need to change yourself just because some jealous bitch said something to you. I will always love you no matter what.” I said and she sobbed. 

“Do you mean it?” She asked in a broken whisper. 

“Every word baby. I promise you that I love you with every piece of my heart. I just want you to get better right now. You passed out Y/N, do you know how scared I was?” I asked quietly. 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” She cried and I pulled her into my chest. 

“Shhh, it’s okay baby. You don’t have to be sorry okay? We’re gonna get you some help and get you better, okay?” I asked and she nodded. 

“Now, I gotta call Toni and tell her you woke up before she and Pea come breaking down the door.” I said and her eyes widened. 

“Y-You told Toni and Pea?” She asked with more tears falling. 

“I called to see if Toni noticed anything with you, I was so worried Y/N.” I said, caressing her cheek and wiping the tears. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. 

“Toni wanted me to take you to the hospital and I know I should have, but I just didn’t want to lose you.” I admitted and she looked up at me. 

“I’m so sorry, Fangs…” She said and I shook my head. 

“You don’t need to be sorry, baby.” I said and kissed her forehead. 

“Now let me call Toni and maybe I can convince her to not take you to the hospital, but you have to eat a bit of the Pop’s I brought home, deal?” I asked and she nodded while taking a shaky breath. 

“I’m not gonna make you eat all of it, but you need to eat at least a little okay? We’ll work on this slowly.” I said and she nodded. 

“O-Okay…” She whispered. I smiled and kissed her head once more before I went to get the food. When I walked back in she was fiddling with her hands. She looked up and I saw her sniff the air subtly. Her stomach growled and I smiled slightly. I walked over and placed the food on her lap, but left the milkshake in the other room. It would be way too heavy for her right now, even if she did love them. 

“I got your favorite, but I think we’re gonna skip the milkshake today and just stick with water, alright?” I asked and she nodded. Her shaky hands took out the burger and fries and gently laid them on the blanket. 

“Alright, I’m gonna sit right here and call Toni and you’re gonna start eating, okay?” I asked and she nodded. I pulled out my phone and called Toni as I watched Y/N slowly start to eat the cold fries. I watched as she put the first one in her mouth and she moaned slightly. I smiled as she continued eating them. 

“Fangs! Is she awake?” Toni answered. 

“Yeah, she’s awake.” I answered and I heard her sigh. 

“Perfect, I’m with Pea and Juggie right now and we have the truck so we’ll be over in a few and we can take her to the hospital.” She said as I heard movement from her side. 

“I don’t think we’re gonna need to take her to the hospital.” I said as I watched her pick up the burger. She took a bite and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. I chuckled and smiled at her. 

“Fangs she passed out, she needs to go to the fucking hospital.” Toni said, slightly annoyed. 

“I think we can deal with this ourselves, T.” I said and she groaned. 

“Seriously? You agreed to take her to the hospital when she woke up.” She said and I sighed. 

“Just come over and see, I promise we got this.” I said and she sighed. 

“Fine, we’re already on our way.” She said and hung up. I hung up and saw Y/N was halfway done with the burger. 

“Slow down babe.” I said with a small chuckle. She blushed and looked over at me. 

“Sorry…” She mumbled and I smiled at her. 

“Don’t be, I know you’re hungry, but like I said we gotta take it slow.” I said and she nodded. 

A few minutes later, our front door was opening. We heard three sets of footsteps coming towards us and Y/N looked scared. I grabbed her hand and gently gave her a reassuring squeeze. The door opened and in walked Toni, Pea, and Jughead. They all looked at Y/N with wide eyes and Toni rushed over to her other side. She pulled her in for a hug, which Y/N returned. 

“Are you crazy? Starving yourself or throwing shit up, whichever. How long has this been going on, huh?” Toni asked and Y/N looked down in shame. 

“Toni, relax. We already talked about it and look she’s already eating.” I said and grabbed Y/N’s hand again. 

“I’m sorry…” Y/N said quietly again. 

“Babe I already told you, you don’t need to be sorry.” I said. 

“No Fangs is right, sorry Y/N/N, I’m just worried.” Toni said, taking a seat on the bed next to her. 

“We all are.” Jones said. She looked up at Pea and Jughead and they each smiled at her. 

“Yeah, so who ass do I need to beat for starting this shit?” Pea asked and Toni rolled her eyes. Y/N laughed and I smiled at her. 

“If I’m honest I don’t even remember who said something…” She said and blushed slightly. 

“I just know it was about a year ago and that’s when I started looking at myself differently. I just hate how I look and constantly compare myself to everyone else and…” She trailed off. 

“Wait, that’s when you started cutting, were you doing this too?” Toni asked and Y/N shook her head. 

“No, I started after you guys helped with that…” She said with a guilty tone. 

“Oh Y/N…” Toni said and pulled her in for another hug. 

“I’m so-” 

“Nope, don’t you dare apologize.” Toni said, cutting her off. 

“Yeah, we’re sorry for not noticing anything.” Jones said and Y/N shook her head. 

“I hid it, there was no way you guys could have known. I mean I was wearing clothes that were a bit too big for me so you guys wouldn’t see my weight change.” She said and we all looked at each other. That explains a bit. 

“We’ll that’s fucking over, let’s go get you some more food.” Pea said and she shook her head. 

“I’m kind of full.” She said and I placed the rest of the food on the nightstand. 

“That’s okay, like I said, slow.” I said and she nodded with a small smile. 

“Fangs is right, we gotta take this slow, but we’re all here for you and we’re gonna help every step of the way.” Toni said with a smile. Pea and Jones also nodded and Y/N teared up. 

“You guys are the best and I’m really so-” 

“Stop apologizing Y/N/N, or I’m gonna kick your ass.” Pea said and she laughed a real genuine happy laugh. We all smiled at her and I gently squeezed her hand. This might be a hard and long road ahead, but we would all support her every step. I think she finally realized that she’s amazing and if not we would all be here to remind her.

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[justkidneying]

Breaking Necks

Snappin necks is a really cool thing to do in an action movie, so I'm gonna break down how strong you need to be to do it.

"Breaking a neck" aka cervical dislocation, happens when the vertebra are rotated far enough that the vertebral canal is disrupted and the spinal cord is fucked. To do this, you gotta overpower some ligaments (which keep bones together), muscles, and tendons (holds muscles to bones). To keep it simple, we're gonna say the guy is on his knees in front of you, and has brain damage or something, so he's not really fighting back. You're gonna put one hand on his chin, and the other on the back of his neck. This will allow you to create torque, which will lead to cervical torsion, which will lead to cervical dislocation, and you know where we're going with this.

Okay, so what is torque? Torque is a specific type of force in which the force is applied to the end of an object, causing that object to rotate. An example of this is when someone uses a wrench. When force is applied to the end of the wrench, it causes the end around a nut to rotate. Most people can understand the concept that as your hands move further from the end of a wrench that is around a bolt, the easier it is to turn. This is because the force applied is multiplied by the length of the lever arm. The lever arm is the distance between the point of rotation and the force being applied. In this case, the lever arm is the distance between the chin and the spine. In most people, this distance is 15 cm.

How much force can the vertebra withstand? The minimum torque the vertebra can be subject to before dislocation is 14-17 Nm (Newton meters are the units of torque, because it is a force [Newton] applied from a distance [meters]). We can plug 17 Nm into our torque equation with the lever arm length, and we get ~120 N. Your bicep needs to produce 120 N of force when you curl a 26 lb weight. That's not very much, is it?

So back to the muscles. The main muscle that will resist your motion is the sternocleidomastoid muscle. This originates from the sternum and collar bone, and inserts onto the skull below the ear. Now, this muscle is not really that strong (who does neck exercises??). Working with any other neck muscles to resist the rotation, this probably puts opposite torque in at around 1.35 Nm. Plug everything back in (with our added torques), and we still only get the force (128 N) needed to curl a 29lb dumbbell. Huh, so your neck muscles really don't help you, do they?

"What about the mandible??" you say...well it's pretty strong actually. It requires about 125 lbs of force to dislocated it when acting in the direction we are, so the neck will dislocate first.

Even if you don't totally destroy the spinal cord, there's some really important crap in the cervical region (like the vertebral arteries and spinal nerves) that will totally kill you if they get messed up. There's the vertebral arteries, for one. You can break those and die of internal bleeding even if your spinal cord is fine.

Another note about where this will happen: you have seven cervical vertebra (C1-C7). C1 and C2 are pretty weird and close nit, so they're probably not going to give first. The greatest amount of flexion is between C4,C5,&C6. Also, because C7 is pretty sturdy in its attachment to the thoracic vertebra, C6 can also dislocate off of it easier. So I bet this dislocation will happen in the lower half of the neck.

Bottom line: if you can curl a 30lb dumbbell, you can probably generate the necessary force to break a grown man's neck.

Anyways, I could go on and on about this (I have a thirty-five page literature review I wrote over this topic), but I think my point has been made. Just one final thing: you probably can't do this irl, bc you need the perfect circumstances and the right technique. Oh well, stuff like this is probably best left to Chuck Norris and Arnold.

[ozmoz]

Okay, so... they are really going to get Marta pregnant then? I suppose it's not a shocker if it does happen... yet somehow it feels disappointing. She seems to give up Fina too easily. She seems too desperate to fill the void, not allowing herself the clarity that comes after having fully digested her breakup. It seems very unlike her character actually, but that's how I understood Marta's persona, not a people pleaser, more of a "do things right" no matter what. Yet she was always scared to disappoint.... Maybe I got it wrong. In any case, Marta is a complex character but something is not sitting right with me with her sudden change of heart and "let's try to make a baby now". Too rushed, too desperate.

Andres and Marta need to have a real chat, telling each other their secret so that finally they can be on the same page and support each other.

No Fina today... I miss her.

I don't know what to think about where they are going with the Mafin storyline. Considering we are at episode 73 or so and they don't get back together until closer to episode 120, a lot could happen in between, including more focus on the other storylines, and assuming no pause in broadcasting, we are now expecting almost no MAFIN goodness until end of July/early August. That is a long time to wait. Will it be worth it? I'm starting to have some doubts there...