#i could be reading into nothing here but dont worry. thats never stopped me before!

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

okay posting this now because i feel like the surprise song combo was so intentional and i hope we get to hear more about it on ttpd !! the getaway car/august/other side of the door mashup got my gears turning and now i can’t get them to stop.

the common thread between those three songs is the third party — i wanted leave him i needed a reason, you weren’t mine to lose, was she worth this? — and i know that basically ever since the breakup people have wondered if joe cheated, and this seemed like it could have confirmed it. while i definitely see the evidence for that, it hasn’t quite seemed like the right fit to me, and after this surprise song combo i finally figured out why. i don’t think that the third party she was singing about in melbourne was an actual person, but the idea of a person.

a huge theme on midnights is what led her to being who she is now. she is both the anti-hero and bejeweled, a mastermind and the unreliable narrator in dead reader… there are so many different versions of herself. clearly she was contemplating these different versions and the implications of being each of them.

a huge theme in gothic literature are characters that are not present in the setting, but the idea of them and what they would do is so strong that they end up influencing the story anyways. this happens in rebecca, the novel that inspired tolerate it, where the main character is haunted by living in the glorious shadow that rebecca cast, an impossible standard to live up to, despite the fact that rebecca died and actually, crucially, wasn’t as great as everyone made her out to be. but it doesn’t matter that she wasn’t that great or that she’s never actually there to be truly compared to because it’s the IDEA of rebecca that’s so powerful. it’s the GHOST that haunts the narrative.

and i wonder if that was part of what drove taylor and joe apart? not an actual ~other woman~ but the idea of who taylor could have been instead. all of the other versions of herself she contemplated on midnights. the third party she seemed to be singing about. even on other albums, before this, she’s contemplated what version of herself could be loved — “i’ve been the archer, i’ve been the prey, who could ever leave me darling but who could stay?” i wonder if there was an idea of taylor (a taylor that isn’t “too big to hang out”) that was so palpable, so real, that it ended up taking up the space of another person and haunting their narrative anyways? because, like the main character in rebecca, how could she live up to the idea of a perfect life?

basically: how can you say that you love someone you can’t tell has died? did you love the real me or the version of me in your head that perfectly fit into your world?

[hel1nn]

And suddenly everything changed ೀ⋆｡

Ch.4 honeymoon

𐔌 . ⋮ satoru gojo x fem zenin!reader .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ : Listen to kingston while reading ⭑.ᐟ

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ : fluffyy | 18+ smut mdni | eventual smut | arranged marriage | reader is 22 and gojo is 25 | reader had a lonely life untill satoru came | abuse (gojo did nothing here.) | trauma | sprinkles of angsts | jealousy | flashbakes | soft!satoru | soft!reader | loss of virginity | self harm | first time falling in love | reader has two sisters. | Reader belongs to zenin clan. | Idiots to lovers | reader doesn't find satoru annoying since she was alone her whole life. | Insecurities | 𖦹ׂ ₊˚⊹⋆

౨ৎ Summery : spending your whole life with feeling of being useless and a waste of space,even worse that your two sisters had cursed energy but you didn't, made you wanted to kill yourself so many times but it stopped when a marriage proposal was sented to gojo clan about marrying you or one of your two sisters. Your sisters were so powerful and beauty with brain so why did satoru gojo choosed you? Moodboard | series masterlist

A/N : English isn't my first language sorry if a made any mistakes:)

Things between you and satoru were awkward yet it was peaceful. He's being respectful towards your rules (not touching eachother without any reason, sleeping in separate rooms etc etc). Sometimes your left alone at house because of his work but satoru spends his time with you. Even one day both of you had a movie night too. It wasn't bad, infact it was very much fun more than you expected. Not to mention the small date on 31st December. Today you were just getting ready for bed as you hear a familiar knock on the door.

"come inn" you spoke as the door opens, revealing the white haired man standing there as steps in your room. You complete braiding your hair as you look at him, giving him a small smile. Seeing his expression you could tell he wanted to say something.

"do you want to..talk about anything?" You ask as you sit down on your bed, "sit here" you say as your hands pats beside you. Satoru was slightly avoiding making eye contact with you. He gives you a smile before sitting where you told him to..

"the higher ups told me too.."

"did they again do something stupid" you say,thats all you could think of them from the ridiculous things they did. From what satoru told you.

Hearing you say the *stupid* his hesitation becomes a little more... would you agree or not. He doesn't wants to upset you now c'mon.

"i mean no..they still haven't done anything for now but..they wants us to go to..okinawa.."

You blink few times..they want you and satoru visit okinawa. For what. For what..oh.

"you mean hone-"

"yes that's what i am trying to say. They want me to take you to honeymoon.." satoru says, looking away. His cheeks slightly pink. When he finally looks at you,the slightly freaked out expression..

"dont worry..i won't do anything to you if you agree. And if you don't it's completely finee-"

"i want to." You perk up,the biggest grin on your face. You had never visited a beach before. All your life locked in that jail. A smile breaks on satoru's face seeing you like this.

"the lets do whatever you want." He chuckles softly. As the blush slightly grows on your face. That night both of you yap the life out of eachothers ears, planning on what you two would do..you don't know why but even if you and satoru aren't so much close,when both of you spend your time together it feels like satoru is the closest person to you.

February 20.

Satoru almost looks like a child, you were surprised seeing people visit the beach in this weather too. Satoru bought you a party floral midi dress. With a cardigan too since you felt kinda cold. the smooth skin of your thigh distracted satoru few times. The cherry blossoms there looking fresh and pretty. You stare at satoru playing with a kid and the kid's parents laughing at satoru as their son splashes water on him. Satoru shakes the water away from his hair like cat. (Catoru.) A soft smile playing on you lips. Everything was going fine,your eyes closed as you rest on the beach chair. The laughter of few peoples around you and the fresh breeze feeling like soothing music to your ears.

"y/n.!" You here satoru chime beside you, your eyes shot open as you perk up in slight shock. You could tell there was something in his hand that he was hiding behind his back..

"you scared me for a second" you laugh softly, recovering from that. "And what is it?" Spoke just as satoru almost shoves a sea cucumber at you. You yelp in horror,staring at the squirming thing on the ground. Satoru pouts,his shoulders slumping in the fail of surprising you with that thing.

"W-what is that.." you trail off.. moving you gaze to satoru,uh. Did he just made a foolish scene of him Infront of you? He looks away slightly,his cheeks pink

"sorry i thought this little shi- thing would slip out of my hand.." satoru says as he laughs a bit, looking at you

You shake you head in slight amusement..oh my. This man is like a manchild but..you kinda liked (absolutely loved) it. You chuckled softly before adjusting yourself on the chair comfortably

"okay you didn't failed to surprise me..btw it scared the life out me for a second" you smile at him,you pink lips shining. Satorus gaze was focused on something else,on how beautiful you looked in that dress. He loved it. Yeah don't think he's a perv cause is there any problem to admire his wife?? He finally shakes his head, snapping out of his day dream

"y-yeah what were you saying" he mumbles and you sigh, sometimes you wonder what happens to this cute man. You were enjoying the small conversation with him just then a ball hits you face, the dirt landing on the skin of you face,you see the child satoru was playing with comes running to you

"sorry miss that was meant for the uncle beside you" the kid yells before taking his ball and running away again, leaving satoru pouty and you giggling like a highschool girl

"heyy i am not any old fart!"

You and satoru were entering the aquarium,the big and small fishes leaving you mesmerized. Not noticing satoru gently intertwining his fingerd with yours so you don't get lost here. Satoru carrying your cardigan. Not letting you since this trip is meant for you and you should enjoy it as much as you want. So you couldn't argue with him more. In the middle of exploring with satoru you suddenly bumped into someone. Just as you were going to apologise-

"oh hi.." that girl looked at satoru, totally an stranger

"oh..do i know you by any chance"

"uh- um no! But would you mind-"

"then byee" satoru started to walk, dragging you with him but then that girl again stopped both of you. All you could do was watch everything

"m-mister waitt is that your sister-"

Satoru's expression turned dumbfounded before replying. You slightly laughed, looking away in embarrassment.

"no she's my wife" the girl stops bringing out her mobile from her bag,who was planning on taking satoru's number,a pout forming on the her lips as she gives a small apology before leaving you two alone again. Satoru just lets out a sigh. You didn't really cared about anything that happened right now. Its normal for girls to hit on him because just look at him he's so handsome. Satoru and you continue your little date that both if you were too shy to admit it. Going here and there,satoru secretly clicks a photo if you staring at a big fish there. As aquarium was about to close both of you finally left, you intentionally didn't let go of his hand since..it felt warm. At the hotel room you were unknownly tucked into satoru's arms since the hotel room only had one bed,his long fingers gently caressing your scalp. Admiring your little face resting against his chest. He knows how you will shower him with apologies because you touched him after saying you would respect his personal space. But satoru liked it. a little smile playing on his lips

"your beautiful"

Taglist : @chilichopsticks @milolop @kuroosvow @bypanana @hoseokslefteyebrow @sorcerersseestars @ssetsuka @megumisthirdog @certainduckanchor @myahfig4 @officialholyagua and idk why i can't tag @deliciouslydeliciouspenguin and @saihar4s :(

[mikgreo]

Gojo punishing his puppies!

satoru gojo, you, and his bff 🩷

nsfw minors dni.

au! where everyone is happy no one dies and theyre happy forever

satoru will always be here for his cute bunny!! even if his cute bunny decides to not be so innocent and turn out a cock hungry whore for his bsf, but thats okay! he can always punish you both. ♡

pairings: best friend! gojo x bimbo! reader , geto x bimbo! reader , geto x gojo

characters are probably ooc for the sake of the fic!! sorry..but hot men!!

Warnings: 18+ ,use of pet names, porn with the tiniest of plot, manhandling, degradation, threesome, oral (fem receiving), p/v sex, anal (masc recieving) pussy slapping, spitting, choking, slightest praise if you squint, virginity loss, hickeys, missionary, backshots. bimbo reader, lmk if i missed anything.

NOT PROOF READ SORRY!!😔

You knocked loudly on Gojo’s apartment door. You tried to clean up your runny nose, you did, and you also tried to stop your eyes from tearing up, but you couldn’t, not after you woke up extra early to get all cute for your boyfriend ex. you were supposed to go to a cute date just you and him, but instead you stood there like an idiot as you watched your own boyfriend make out with a girl outside the cafe you were supposed to meet him at.

you decided to show up early to surprise him. Instead he ended up surprising you. You didn’t bother confronting him. instead, you blocked him on everything. you didn’t know what to do, so you called your best friend.

“toru?” your voice clearly trembling from your crying.

“You okay, y/n? What happened, you sound shaken up-”

“Toru! are you home? need you really bad right now..please.” you didn’t know why you were calling him, it isn’t that serious.

“Yeah. ‘m home. friend’s over though, you sure you still w’na come?” he said, sounding unbothered. it was probably something about your boyfriend

“mhm. be there in 5.” you hung up. you wondered, was his friend cute?

here you were, infront of gojo’s door.

“Hey pretty, come in.” he hugged you slightly before you walked in

you bent over to kick your shoes off at the entrance. you only came to cuddle and let him comfort you like no other.

“ m’ so sorry im coming out of nowhere.” you smiled as you looked up at gojo through your lashes.

he was always taller than you maybe by a couple feet. you always admired his beauty, how his hair was so soft and perfectly layered. his blue eyes, the way he looked at you, a way he never looked at anyone else. his pale skin, and his pink perfect li- what am i thinking. you stopped before you got too carried away.

“dont worry sweetheart, its nothing. come, let me introduce you to suguru.” he took your wrist gently and pull you into the living room.

suguru? you thought. a part of you wished he looked as good as gojo.

“Suguru, this is y/n. Y/n this is Geto. I think its funny how both of my best friends have never met eachother.” he let out a slight laugh. so cute you thought.

“hi geto kun.” you gave him a bright smile. slightly crossing one arm to your other to press your boobs together “its nice to meet you!!” you giggled. he was cute, just like gojo, maybe he could be your next boyfriend.

“no need to call me by my last name, feel free to call me suguru, its nice to meet you too.”

he smiled back at you. he didn’t say much but you didn’t mind. he had a soft voice, higher than gojo, but still a tiny bit deep. it made you feel fuzzy.

“go ‘head and sit with suguru, im getting you a jacket. you need to cover up.” he glanced down at your outfit.

you didnt think you were wearing anything bad. a white crop top, tied around your neck by strings, with a jean miniskirt, leg warmers and of course your white toes.

yes maybe you were showing your breasts to much.. and nipples, and stomach. and too much thighs and legs. but you thought it was fine, a part of you wanted to be seen like this.

“hi suguru kun!! watchu watching?” you skipped over to him, making your boobs jiggle on purpose. you caught him looking.

“i dunno, some action movie. you gonna come sit with me and watch the movie, pretty?” he said tilting his head slightly, smiling, while patting the empty space on his left.

you were surprised at his boldness, maybe it was because gojo wasn’t here you thought. you paid no mind and went along with it.

“mhm, dont mind if i do.” you sat next to him, your plush thighs touching him. he was about to place his hand on your thigh until..

“hey, y/n here. i got u some pants and a hoodie.” he was clearly ticked off, jealous maybe?

“I dont wanna!!” you whined, as you got up. feeling geto’s eyes on your butt.

“mm.. theyre to big anyway toru!! and its so hot.” you hugged him as a way to convince him into letting you keep what you had on.

“atleast put the hoodie on, bunny.”

“why should i, hm?” you gave him a sly smile.

“so you don’t seem like an attention seeking whore to my friend.” he flicked your forehead

“ughh, fine.” you were definitely taking this off later.

gojo stared at you looking annoyed, “weren’t you just crying?”

oh. right, you remembered the whole reason you even came here.

“oh yeah, i forgot. I cought shin kissing some other bitch in-front of the cafe he was supposed to be taking me to, its nothing though, you made me feel better.” you smiled at him before grabbing a beer from the fridge. you chugged it before adding on, “i blocked him on everything though.”

“I dont get why you didn’t do that from the start.” he said flicking your forehead. again.

“ouch!!” you pouted

a few hours went by, you had gotten to know geto a little more, and you were pretty drunk, they both scolded you the whole time but you didnt care, you wanted to forget about your ex.

it was around 10pm when gojo decided to say..

“oh yeah, suguru is staying the night, so if you wanted to stay you might as well.” he placed his hand on your head before getting up from the floor where you were all sitting on from the previous board game.

“ i was .. hiccup .. plan- planning on it anyway.” you glanced over at geto, who was clearly staring at you.

you smiled at him before crawling over to him.

“hey. you’re cute..” you tilted your head and smiled. just looking at him made you feel fuzzy..

“hey. you’re drunk. come on get off before satoru comes back.”

“relaxxx~ hes gone! it’ll.. hiccup … take a while.” you scooted closer to him. lips ghosting over his

“dontcha wanna kiss me?”

“cant, even if i wanted too, pretty. your toru’s girl.”

you pouted at this. you didn’t like his rejection.

you quickly got up and rushed to find gojo, who was in his room getting blankets and pillows.

“toruuu!!!” you barged in

“yes bunny? whats up.”

you went up to him and pushed him onto the bed, half lidded eyes tracing over his features. you cupped his cheek.

“did you tell suguru we’re dating?”

“no, i didn’t, princess. why?” he raised a brow attempting to get you off, cleary failing.

“mm.. he wont let me kiss him. he said he cant.. because im ‘toru’s girl’, mm.” your finger tracing over his lips, legs closing in tightly at his waist.

he doesn’t look to happy, you thought.

“y/n, get off.” he said trying to push you off.

“why are you mad? you jealouss?” you were still on him, not going anywhere. you giggled at this.

“no, stop acting like a slut and just act normal for once.” his voice was stern. and harsh. he never talked to you like this, he was really mad.

you unconsciously started to tear up, maybe it was your drunk self, or your horny self, but you knew how to manipulate gojo into giving you what you want. what is it that i want?

“toru, m’ sorryyy..i love you okay? only you..im sorry for this.” you braced yourself. god you hoped your drunk self wasnt going to ruin everything.

“for wha-” gojo quickly being cut off.

there you were. cupping your best friends cheeks and making out with him, inviting your own tongue into his mouth. you grabbed his hand and placed it onto your waist. pushing him deeper into the mattress, gojo now laying down completely.

you pulled away to catch your breath.

“y/n. what the fuck are you doing?” he was confused but part of him liked this. he could never admit it right now though.

“satoru… im tired of pretending i dont like you. i dont wanna ruin anything but, hiccup..i love you. more than best friends.” you kissed his cheek, the corners of his mouth, his forehead and neck.

“y/n, your just drunk talking, you dont mean it.”

“m’ not. i mean it.”

“you’re a fucking whore.” was the last thing he said before yelling at geto.

“yo suguru, come here!” he manhandled you to a position where he was on top now.

“ya called?” geto came in.

gojo leaned into your ear whispering, “since you wanna be a slut, make a show for suguru, okay?”

“toru, i want you. i need you please..hiccup.. pleaseee.” you had no idea what was making you say this but you guessed it was just the horniness making you talk.

“suguru, your gonna fuck her, okay?” gojo glanced over at geto.

“with pleasure.” geto took his shirt off in one go and untied the strings of his sweats.

“t-toru! wait…”

“hm?”

“i want you..and sugu, to eat me out.” you covered your face with your arms.

“is that so, princess?” gojo grabbed the back of your knees and pressed them against your shoulders.

“hold on tight for me, ‘kay bunny?” he flashed you a smile. “suguru, ya ready?”

“let’s see what our puppy tastes like gojo ♡” suguru said kneeling down next to gojo spreading kisses down your thighs and tummy, putting your panties to the side and bunching your skirt up to your stomach.

“h..hurry.. need it, now, pl-please!” you were getting impatient for their touch. you felt like you were about to explode.

almost immediately gojo lapped at your cunt on command rubbing his finger up and down your hole while occasionally sticking his tongue in while suguru sucked on your puffy clit.

“n-ngh! a..hah! sug..toru! more more more..!” you began to blabble already to fucked out from barely any action.

“taste so fuckin’ good, bunny.” satoru said sticking his digit inside your weeping and needy hole. “look how wet she is, suguru ♡” he said pulling out his finger pulling it up so geto could see.

“mm..she’s so pretty, all wet glistening in her juices.” geto grabbed gojo’s wrist and pulled his middle finger up to his mouth, sucking off all your juices.

gojo blushed at this.

“tou..touch me, touch me mor- hah! ngh yes.yesyesyes!!” your head rolling back into the mattress, and you swore, there was stars on the ceiling.

gojo stuck in 3 digits inside your leaking pink hole. “gotta get you niceee and ready, love. don’t want me and sugu-chan hurting your poor cunt do we now?”

he giggled seeing your flushed and confused expression. gojo moved out of the way leaving geto to eat you like a starved man. “h-hah!! wha.. you? sugu?? cant..take..both cant..at once! nghh, suguru!”

“im sure you can, be a good girl and let us stretch you out, hm?” gojo grabbing geto, who wouldve probably never let go of your pretty cunt, by the hair to get him off and fully undressed.

“but before that, im gonna get suguru to stretch you out okay?” he goes to your side caressing your cheek. “you’d like that wouldn’t you? you just love sugu-chan so much you want him to stretch you out nice and good, hm?”

“t-toru!! cant… i..im a ..” you hesitated. fuck it. “virgin! virgin, im a virgin toru toru… ngh!” you could barely talk with how geto’s fingers curved and scissored across your gummy walls.

he laughed. “pfftt, you act like a slut and you’ve never even gotten any action, you’re such a whore.” gojo wrapped his hand around your neck choking you softly.

“Suguru, you okay with fucking a virgin dumb?” gojo flashed him his fangs as he smiled, softly slapping your cheek.

“i’d be more than happy.” he pushed your legs further onto your shoulders aligning himself at your entrance.

he spit on your cunt and gave it a slap, earning a muffled moan from you as gojo bullied his tongue into your mouth.

“breathe, ‘kay? and relax, im ‘bout to go in.” he slapped the side of your thigh to make sure you heard him.

“mm-mhm!!” you mumbled, gojo finalizing the kiss by biting your bottom lip, kissing your forehead after. “get ready, baby. it wont hurt, if you just welcome him in ♡”

geto slowly pushed in your tight little hole.

“n-ngh! hah..big..big!!!” you looked down, realizing this was the first time you saw geto’s dick. it was thick, you would have to guess it was around 6 inches from what youve seen in those porn videos.

“suguru, don’t go easy on her, dont hold back. its her punishment for being such a whore.” gojo said finding his way into the crook of your neck giving you hickeys.

“sorry, princess.. hold your breathe for a sec yea?”

you were confused at suguru’s request, but you complied too drunk to understand. and suddenly-

plap!!!

“F-FUUUCK!!. ngh..ya….hah.. ow, sugu.. too much.. too-t- big!!” you struggled against the two boy’s hold on you.

suguru began to slip in out of you, occasionally stopping to bottom out all his length inside your cunt.

“so! soo good. more!! faster sugu please!~” crossing your eyes, your whole body moving up and down from his thrusts.

“can..feel you! in my tum..my!!..mm” you were cock drunk.

“toru..touch..touch me!!” you looked at him with heart filled eyes, you wanted him to touch you too.

“such a brat. at least say please, ya dog. so nasty and needy.” you slapped your cheek making you shamefully moan. “knew you’d like that, fuckin’ whore.” he slapped your pussy occasionally rubbing your clit.

“yes!! yes so good! toru, sugu! im..im..close closecloseclose..!!” you lolled your tongue out, eyes teary, pools of drool coming down your tongue.

“ya on..ngh..the pill, doll?” suguru said while getting sloppier with his thrusts.

“yeah, she is.” gojo speaking for you, being too fucked out to respond.

“can i c-come..inside, satoru?” geto said glancing over at gojo, him taking notice of geto’s sweaty trembling body knowing he was about to burst.

“go for it, didn’t know ya was a fuckin’ dirty slut just like y/n.” gojo walked over behind geto, biting on his ear lobe lovingly. teasingly.

“fu..fuckk….cant!! cant hold..” geto gave his last thrusts, shooting warm ropes in your cunt.

“hhaa!! so warmm.. ngh..!! good..”

“creamin’ all over suguru’s cock huh, princess? just like the fucking slut you are.”

gojo pushed geto down, making him shift his weight on your tiny body, bending him over making sure geto was still inside you.

“sat-toru? what the fuck.. hey..he-ngh!~ fuck..” geto protested, but getting interrupted by gojo spitting down his ass, wetting his hole.

“punishment for being cock-whores, sugu-chan and y/n ♡”. gojo sticked two fingers inside geto’s warm unopened hole.

“sugu…again..please! so ..horny.” you said cupping his cheeks, lips meeting. eventually sloppily making out as geto started to begin his slow thrust.

you felt his dick twitch as he moaned in your mouth possibly from gojo’s fingers.

“sato…ruu! slow down, cant..focus!! ngh.” geto too overstimulated to concentrate on your pleasure.

“lemme take over then, ‘kay?” he kissed geto down his spine, slowly pushing in the pink tip of his cock inside geto.

“f-fuck!! i..nghhh!!” geto trembled eyes never leaving yours. never breaking eye contact.

gojo wasnt even all the way in when he started to forcefully thrust into geto’s poor hole, making geto move harsher inside you.

“fuckk, so tight yeah baby?” gojo grabbed geto’s hips getting better grip as he slammed into him, projecting his strength to geto, thrusting into your poor overstimulated hole.

“slow..slow down!! suguu…cant take!! it..” you felt like you were going to break having twice the weight on your legs now. barely remembering how to breathe and talk.

“toru!! so ..good~ ahh.. wait!! slow..down!! y/n cant take it..” geto trying to get up forgetting he was leaning half his weight onto you, but immediately being shoved back down by gojo.

“mmm!! m sorry prin-cess!” he shoved his face into your neck moaning into it. you felt his drool slip down.

“..go—ood!! good….mytummy! cant..its com…ing!!”

“hah…look! the bitch can’t even fuckin’ talk no more, she’s so fucked out.” gojo laughed at you.

“toru, just..go sl-ah!!-lower, pl..please!!” geto cried out, as his body was holding on tightly to you.

“ouch..sugu!! too tight!!” you took notice on his grip on you, thinking he was about to break your bones.

you all were clearly about to explode, on the edge of cumming. you couldn’t take anymore.

“come on suguru! just cus im fucking you dont mean you can forget all about our girl.” he gave a harsh slap to geto’s ass making him remember to keep thrusting hard into your poor cunt.

“nyaa!! cummin…d-daddy, toru!!!” how cute. gojo thought hearing you say that, already trained to say his name while cumming despite him not even laying a finger on you.

“me ..too. ‘m cumming satoru!” geto put his hands on both sides of you getting up slightly to give you room.

“fuckk…on the count of three yea? ya slut’s gonna come for me, ‘kay?” gojo fastening his thrusts, also making geto unconsciously move his hips into your pussy.

“one…”

“two…”

“nghhh!!! toru, suguru!!!” you squirted all over geto’s dick and stomach.

“fu..ck. toruuu..y/n.” geto moaned softly as his body slowly gave up, shooting his last load into your cunt.

“atta’ girlll, squirt fa’ sugu-chan.. so proud of you suguru.” he planted kissed down geto’s spine and back, also cumming in geto’s little abused hole.

gojo pulled out, geto slowly following behind.

you curled into a ball, trying to regain your regular breathing rhythm, about to pass out.

“we’re not done yet, puppies. ♡” gojo said as he wiped the sweat off his forehead, white hair sticking to his forehead.

“we’re going all night.” he smirked.

i hope u guys liked it!! lmk if u want pt. 2 :33 this was my first time hehe im sorry if its bad🥲

[shradsmanifestt]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Hey love,

I get you, I really do but trust me when I say this.

THIS SHIT IS REAL AF. Manifestation is real af. It's as real as the fact that you are a human being. All you have to do is trust yourself that it is already done. If good results is what you want then that is exactly what you'll get. You need to choose to stop having doubts because it is already done. That is the simplest answer I can give you. Persist on what you want.

I am glad to tell you this but I just got test results for a major exam held in my uni today and I got into the 95th percentile just by saying to myself that my super power is aptitude tests and that I already scored great. In my friends group only 3 of us were eligible and I have 70+ more marks then them as well. If I can do it, you can do it. You need to stop doubting yourself. Atleast stop doubting manifestation. Cause at this point you're only gonna manifest your doubts.

I'll give you a scenario - If you're worried about getting bad grades, Trust me when I say this you're gonna manifest exactly that coz you will manifest exactly what you assume. You can choose to stop that right here, RN. Choose to accept that you got great marks. I mean don't even like aim for B's go for A's. I don't care even if you left the paper blank coz if you assume you're the topper, that is exactly what's gonna happen.

If you do get bad marks and I'm gonna be harsh here - You're the only reason why! You're gonna manifest exactly what you assume to be true even if it's good or bad. Your sc mind don't differentiate btw what's good for you or what's bad for you. It only knows what you feed it.

You got this, TRUST ME

Love, Shrads.

[query-quadrant]

how do i vome to terms with my ashen relationship being so short lived?

i (bronze) am vonsidering mediating between a rust blood and a teal blood who vontinously pivk shitty fights with each other.

i hate them both so muvh but. im worried. how am i supposed to avvept that once i make these stupid shits vlean up their avt, theyll most either get together pitvhwise or all three of us will break up?

i know that long lasting ash relationships do happen. but ive never seen this avomplished by anyone i know. i dont know if i want to even get into get into something with them if its just going to end badly for me… but thats the whole point of auspistivism. its selfless. maybe id be a bad auspistive after all.

but these two need someone or else theyre going to tear everyone else down with them eventually…

what do i do?

ok im gonna take a hard stance here listen to me i am grabbing your shoulders right now this is the most important shit youre ever gonna hear ok you need to absorb this put it into a text to speech thing and listen till your hear ducts start bleeding if you have to im so serious right now

i dont give a fuck if those two freaks of nature are about to kill each other for real or blow up entire fucking stem clusters if youre not sure you can handle this shit you look the other fucking way and leave the job for someone else who can handle it

auspiticism is hard especially at the start youre stepping into a fucked up relationship where everyones as bitchy as possible and most trolls want it to be short and literally think thats the point and also depending on the dude some assholes would also literally rather skin their bulge than admit that maybe the auspitices feelings matter and that theyre not just walking cheat codes to fix relationships

sometimes people get magical auspiticisms that last for sweeps but most of them arent gonna be that even the nicer ones are usually short or at least start fucked up before they get good and you gotta look out for you

anyway

good advice for if you read all that and do actually end up doing it:

1. make sure you have a good moirail before you get involved

2. have literally any backup plans for if slash when shit ends

3. make sure theyre actually into you too theyre not gonna listen to you if theyre not

4. take no shit

bad advice:

hmmmmm thinking emoji dot dot dot

what if whenever shit started getting a little too stabilized you started fucking shit up on purpose then theyd never have any reason to break up with you cause theyd always need an auspitice

this could never backfire ever in any way

you know give them shitty advice plant evidence one of them is cheating dress up as one of them in a really shitty disguise and start saying whatever insane bullshit you can think of to stoke the flames a little diy your own personal feud nothings stopping you

[ariel26c]

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Babe don’t stress yourself out. If you don’t like visualizing then don’t do it. Do what you wanna do not what others are doing. You don’t need to visualize perfectly anyway. I think most people don’t visualize in perfect detail. Make your own method if you enjoy doing methods.

Create your own rules for manifestation because as long as you persist that’s what matters. Feeling isn’t that important. I know some say feeling like it’s yours is necessary to manifest but it’s not. Don’t worry about not feeling the feelings and simply persist. Also stop trying and simply be. Choose to be a winner in life. Choose to be successful. Choose that you live life on easy mode.

Thinking as if you were the best version of yourself. You are so powerful that you could literally have anything. What others have done to you simply needs to be let go and focus on the now because now is when you’ll get to love your dreams. You’ll live a better life than all those losers who hurt you. Doubts hold no power over your manifestations. Accept them and move on. It’s done because you say so. Period. It’s okay to not believe.

Stop searching for posts if you’re not apply what you’re learning. It’s pointless to scroll and scroll and search if you’re not even trying. You can do this my love. No matter how you feel or how many doubts you have you are still God at the end of the day. What you want you can have if you simply allowed yourself to have it.

In other words:

1. Doubts don’t matter.

2. You don’t need to feel it real.

3. You don’t need to believe.

4. What you’ve gone through in your past doesn’t matter because there is now.

5. If other people can experience happiness and get what they want then so can you.

6. Don’t worry about doing things perfectly. Visualize but if it stresses you out don’t do it. Make it easy for yourself by doing what you wanna do.

7. Simply persisting is all it takes.

[quirkthieves]

Viv I need you to know that every time I see you on the dash or in my notifs or in my dms or literally ANYWHERE my day gets a million times brighter, I love reading your writing and your hcs regardless of which muse/chara you're talking about and honestly going back and forth with you about kemoji has made me love this series x10 times more than I initially did. I'm also SOOO very grateful to you for helping me find the new ch translations whenever they drop & it warms my heart to see your passion for Romanian culture and the way you've made Mioara into SUCH a compelling chara that she's practically tied to my Mihai. like you genuinely couldn't tear her out of my hands if you tried. ANYWAY ILYSM AND I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!! xoxoxo

CHRISSSSSSSSS you have no idea how much this means to me... ;^;/ .... i dont have the words for it and i dont have my emotes on this computer but rest assured im doing some WUAHGHGH shit

it's been so fun going back and forth with you on things too!!!! ive definitely come to like mihai so much more as a character and its been fun exploring dynamics that never could happen in the series and i love hearing your headcanons and im being 100% serious when i say i absolute love how unabashed you are with writing your muses. i feel like theres a struggle myself and a lot of other writers have when it comes to writing characters like mihai or mikito where we wanna sand off some of the rougher edges but there's so much more life and voice when someone (you) can keep them true to form because thats the appeal of characters like that in the first place!!!

AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MIOARA..... <3 i always get a little worried that when i write characters like her that i may slip into "weird weeby territory" but genuinely i love writing her and drawing him and reading deep dives and articles and journals and everything else that ive been led to on the journey!!! the decision to make him romanian actually came about as the result of an existing passion for learning about the culture because of an exhibit my job hosted of contemporary works from the cluj-napoca school and the information document i put together for it since i have another romanian friend that i knew would be really excited for it and i wanted to make her proud 💪💪💪 almost a year later and now im working on learning the language and trying my best to do right by such a rich and interesting history & culture

LOLLL okay that got corny sorry i didnt mean to get on a soap box there but it just makes me really happy to hear that if nothing else my effort is shining through <3 ok ily chris im gonna stop typing before i make myself look goofy on here

[dr34myluv]

TW vent

before you start reading i dont wanna hear pity if u even decide to read, i just need to blow off steam.

sometimes i feel like a butterfly, so fragile my wings can break, but instead of wings i have a heart and a brain, and i cant stop crying, i mean last year was way worse yk? life felt like it was ending i resorted to sh, im better now right? im clean, i have an amazing bf, i basically get everything i could ever ask for, so whats wrong?

i dont know what's exactly wrong with me, i feel fat, i hate the way i look, but that's how most teenage girls feel huh? its normal. just like its normal for a father to walk out, destroy his child's life with just a few words. bc that's normal and nothing is gonna change a man's mind.

"normal" im your normal girl, everyone is normal, right?

i grew up in a household where i wasn't considered normal, i was treated like i was sick, and wrong, by my father, if u dont agree with him then ur the wrong one not him, ur opinions don't matter to him. he still thinks that way, which is fine yk? being gay? pffft thats horrid, like "boyish" things (which really aren't i wanst even a tomboy growing up but wtv) guess what, THATS WRONG.

its not really like that has affected me much, just my parents arguing, and my mom commenting on my body.

my parents fought so much it was overwhelming, it was never ending, my dad would threaten to kill himself and storm out of the house, id be screaming and crying begging him not to do anything, i guess as a child that really does affect someone, he left so much like that it created worry, he was my hero, he IS my hero, as much as i hate to admit it, i love him more than i should.

due to my father, i think thats the reason im so attached to this boy (my bf) ik that sounds stupid but i have a reason for this.

lets call him N, and N was someone i met in school, he is the total opposite of me, has a tendency of being an asshole to people, so why might i like this guy? well he gave me the right amount of attention at the wrong time.

school was hard 2 years ago, id cry almost everyday, and ig i was an acquaintance with him, one day he noticed me crying, during break, i was alone, he came up to me, and hugged me, it wasn't expected but it was definitely needed, he didn't say anything, he didn't ask anything, he just hugged me, let me cry in his arms, i guess we slowly became friends after that. at the time i liked him a bit, didnt care that much atleast i thought.

i had no way of contact to him, it was just school, and during the summer i still liked him, it was a new year of school, and i didn't see him, i thought hey maybe he's around here somewhere doing who knows what, i asked some friends if they've seen him, they said no. and at one point i asked one of his friends, and he moved, she said, and i felt my heart sink down to my feet, i could feel like eyes water, i couldn't control it. and ik it's stupid, but he promised me he would never leave me without saying goodbye (in a friendly way)

i dont want to explain more. But to whomever decided to read, im sorry for not finishing it.

[sleepingwithinkink2-0]

Space Cadet

lost files # 56

Street lights/Emotions (extended version)

Got out of work

And

I m smiling

The humid night slams into my face .

I hate summer ..

Slowly it fades ..

Something happens

A switch goes off

No

To be honest I've been carrying this on my shoulders throughout the day

Quiet at work..

Lost in my head...

I had nothing to say

And

Yet i had so much bubbling beneath my tongue..

Every little thing setting me off

Like little fires,

i tried to put out before .

It scorched my lips..

I couldnt even remember my password to clock in to work today ..

A ticking bomb ..

Thats been ticking in the background for days ..

Driving "home"

and

i just want to yell..

I want something to break ....

so badly..

My mind is cloudy..

I think I might have drove through a red light..

And

It frustrates me

And

I yell..

I yell as loud as i fucking can

Breaking the summer night's serenity...

And

I start crying .

Annoyed ..

I hate this,

these feelings that wrap around my throat..

A mix of emotions

Together they feel dirty...

Gross

And

I want to tear at my skin

With my claws .

To ripe out the wires .

To defuse the circuit..

Bitting into the roots

With new teeth stain crimson .

I m anxious...

Reckless...

I'm worried about my friends ...

I m tired

I'm not a good person...

Trying to explain all the reasons why,

Seems tiredsome..

the words seem endless

And Abundance...

I could give you a hundred reasons why..

And they would seem inconsequential to the naked eye,

But to me they matter .

They matter..

Leaving bruises ..

I think of my parents...

All the days I havent been there...

Knowing time is running out.

It makes me sick to my stomach..

But somedays ,

Most days,

I dont know what to say when I'm there..

Talking about books with my mom

Something we have in common

Hidden behind the paper back books

There is a rift between me and her

Filled with white noise .

Talking to my dad about history

The news .

I do ask him deep questions that bother me that day..

But most days i dont know what to say...

Filling the silent room with petty conversations..

I just want to sit there

To in joy their company,

Watching them go through their daily routine like i m not there,

Without having them worry that something is wrong with me..

To love them

Without me being a concern..

But i can hear their thoughts ..

And

Its loud,

On the days I'm quiet.

But somedays i cant stop talking

Lately thats not the case..

It depends on what i picked up on the way..

Like a child..

Filling his pockets ,

With random garbage found on his/her adventures.

Emotions latching themselves on to me..

Like lost aninals .

I hate what I become

And

Yet i never felt so alive ...

Feeling everything

A double bladed knife..

I m sitting here on the side of the road... The radio off

And

I focus on my breathing

My chest rising and falling .

Watching the street lights further up changing

From green to red .

There's unknown emotions

Swirling with mine.

Alien .

Foreign

Absorbing everything ..

The awkwardness

The fear

The sadness .

The longing..

Happiness ..

From the people that surrounded me .

Is overwleming..

I like being alone..

With my books

When i m alone ..

I know the emotions that are stiring are mine alone .

And

I can control them

Let them stay...

But I do like spending time with people

I enjoy seeing my friends happy

Seeing strangers laughing..

Its beautiful

And

I cant help but smile.

I like when I hangout with a group of friends..

Sometimes doing my own thing..

Watching them

having little conversation between each other

I can't help but smile my dumb stupid smile..

Feeling blessed .

Like the other day i invited my friend to join me and read at the park..

I could feel how content he was ..

Laying beside me reading

Admiring the summer day,

Beneath the shade...

We didnt even have to talk,

To understand..

He broke the silence telling me " thank you, i dont get to do this much since the kids." Staring off

I can feel the longing dripping from the sentence as

It leaves his mouth..

And

I felt bad.

I replied with a laugh trying to shake it off...

"Don't worry, you have me , to drag you along on my adventures..."

-Danny Sheehan

07.21.23

12:07am

[superworldunkown]

Earn your Stripes

Yo, its been a (checks watch) minute, since I’ve posted so welcome to my, here’s a post and I disappear until the last leaf of summer drops from the trees. Hope everyone is safe and well.

Summary: We earn our scars in different ways, no matter the method, Bakugou finds yours both beautiful and worthy of recognition. Per usual Bakugou X BlackFem! Reader (because melanin) 

‘Fuuuucckk....’ You were really trying hard not to swear. You knew it was going to be a hard habit to kick, but when the burning pain shoots through your body when you’re simply trying to put your pajamas...c’mon! This shit sucks. In fact, screw it, you’re sleeping in your undergarments and a robe again. 

Letting your shorts drop to the floor and reaching for your robe you stood in the bathroom mirror, examining your broken, but present form. Your eyes were sunken in, your once glowing dark skin was both dried and lackluster, and at the base of your abdomen, there it was. 

The Scar. 

Stretching horizontally across your frame, still swollen and inflamed. The flesh around it where your body once was controlled and firm, now sagging in defeat.  You gingerly ran your fingers across the divot of skin, hissing where you you could feel that burning pain, and pondering the sensation on places where you could not. 

You wondered what it would look like once it healed; could feel down there again? Could you hide it? How long until you can put pants on without wanting to rip the clothing in half?!

“Hey...” 

You knew that gravely voice followed by a gentle knock. Quickly you wrapped your robe across your stomach only to yelp in pain as the fabric brushed too harshly against your skin. buttery soft feel your ass, this robe was a lie!

Suddenly the door swung open and Katsuki appeared right in front of you, one hand on your cheek and the other on your shoulder. His eyes, despite their own fatigue were lazar focused on you, scanning every inch of you in a matter of seconds - “What happened?” 

“Nothing.” You shushed him while turning your head to face the mirror, dragging your cheek along his fingertips as you turned, “...Wardrobe malfunction.” 

“So you’re...alright?” He asked, voice much calmer. 

You smirked, now staring at the elephant, or should you say, giant scar in the room, “Thats a loaded question...I look disgusting.”

“The fuck you dont!” Your partners voice shook you out of your self invited pity party. “Why the hell would you say that?”

Was he...serious? You turned to face him, pushing your robe back and letting the scar grace every watt of light in the bathroom, “This, look at this.” 

Katsuki’s red eyes stared at you as if he was drinking every bit of you in as if he was seriously looking for the ‘this’ as if it wasn’t silently screaming at him from your abdomen. Finally he put two and two together. For someone so observant he always did have a bit of trouble reading social cues. But, you loved him for it none the less. 

“You’re really worried about that?” His question had a bit of astonishment to it, “After what just happened?” 

Now you’re questioning everything. Your body turned inward a bit, “Well...yeah? It’s not like the badge of honor scars you get from hero work.” You gestured to the star like mark that graced his bare chest, he saved his best friend that day. “This is different.” 

Katsuki let out a frustrated exhale. His hands drew themselves back up to your body to latch on to your elbows, this time with a bit of firmness as to keep you from both physically and mentally wandering away from what he uttered next, “I know that stupid book you gave me to read said I can’t swear er whatever but you’re sounding fucking crazy right now.” He cut you off before you could even think of disagreeing with him, “You got that badass scar because you did something that I could never do. That scar doesn’t make you a hero, but it makes you a mom. So get your head out of your ass and be proud of yourself....and stop bending over and walkin’ up and down the damn stairs all the time. You need something you ask me, got it?” 

To save yourself from bursting in to tears you leaned into his strong frame, finding comfort against his chest, “Thank you. You’re...I don't know what I’d be without you.” 

“Heh.” He chuckled while equally basking in the glow of your touch and the smell of the curls that his chin rested upon, “Not nearly as interesting, that’s for sure.” For the sake of his kind words earlier, you let his egotistical rebuttal go for the time being. 

  You didn’t know how long the two of your stood in each other's embrace, but it was only a matter of time before the distant wails of your little one brought you both slowly back to the reality of parenthood.

“Go lie down, would ya.” your husband ordered softly, “I got the little gremlin.” 

“Kiara.” You smirked, “Our daughter’s name is Kiara.” 

AN: Sending much love to my C-Section Parents out there. You the real MVPs <3

[hotch-stufff]

can i get angst 47 with gibbs 👁👁

Bruises

gif is not mine

Paring: Gibbs x Reader

Warnings!: mentions of abuse, angst, crying, comforting, abusive relationship, cursing, mentions of injuries from abuse

Prompt: "You flinched"

-------------

I laid on the ground, not having enough energy to stand up. I couldn't move, and God did it hurt to breathe. Probably a bruised rib, would definitely have some bruises to add to the collection.

Hopefully nothing bad enough to send me to the hospital. The last time I did that, well it was just really bad, and Darren was pissed. So pissed that when we got home, he beat me all over again.

Now I know what you're thinking. What is a federal agent doing staying in an abusive relationship like this? Truth is, I had no idea. At first it was because I thought the beatings would eventually stop, but they didn't. And after realizing they would never stop, I tried to get out. But that only left to another hospital trip and threats. The threats were the only reason that I stayed.

Darren threatened a lot of things. He threatened to beat me so bad I couldn't move. To kill me. But the worst was that he threatened to hurt my team. He knew the whole team, he knew them really well. He worked at NCIS for God's sake, just not on Gibbs team. And that was enough for me to stick around.

Of course, it should be known that it wasn't always like this. Darren was a good guy in the beginning. He brought me flowers and took me out to nice restaurants. He made time for me, and I did the same for him. But then, he didn't get the open spot on Gibbs team. I did. And it all went downhill from there.

The bruises were getting extremely hard to hide. Turtlenecks and long pants were becoming my everyday wardrobe. Which wasnt the easiest thing to work in, but foundation was expensive, and Darren spent most of our money on alcohol or cigarettes. Whatever his weekly fix was. It was ... exhausting. The front I had put up in front of everyone was tearing me down, and people were starting to notice.

Tony and Ziva, who sat closest to me would send me a concerned glance each time I winced when moving. I blamed it on muscle pain, from working out so much.

Abby would see the amount of makeup I was wearing and would ask if I was okay. Of course she just thought I was insecure. She would always tell me that I was bueatiful and that I didn't need makeup. It warmed my heart each and every time she said it.

Palmer was concerned because he had caught one of my bruises. It was on my wrist and my sleeve had rolled up slightly. He had asked about it and I had told him the first lie that popped in my head. That I had fallen. He had taken me straight to Ducky to make sure that it was actually okay. Which is how Ducky got involved.

And then there was Gibbs. Gibbs didn't ask questions, he didn't push for answers, he didn't send me concerned glances. But I was certain he knew something. He didn't know what was actually going on, because he would beat the shit out of Darren if he knew. But he just seemed like he knew something. I knew that if I was going to go to anyone about my "issue", it would be him. Gibbs had been there for me since I had joined the team. And we both had spent plenty of late nights in the office talking. Me, avoiding going home to Darren and him not wanting to go back to his empty house.

Everyone had said that Gibbs was this hard man that never opened up and remained silent most of the time. But boy once he got talking, he never shut up. We talked about eveything. And sometimes nothing, just enjoying each others presence. And if I'm honest, I may have been developing feelings for the guy. But I could never do that, because Darren would probably kill him. And that scared me more than anything.

But life seemed okay. Atleast I was the only one getting hurt.

Of course until it all came crashing down. And it had just been a normal day.

* * *

I sat at my desk, working on and endless stack of paperwork that came with each case. We had just wrapped one up, a good ending thankfully. The team was in high spirits, talking about going out to a bar tonight. But I knew Darren wouldn't have it. I had turned down the offer, instead opting to sit and do paperwork until I had to go home.

Everyone had left for the night, leaving me alone in the bullpen. My hand was a scribbling away, when I had felt the gentle tap of a hand against my shoulder. I should have been more careful, but I had thought it was Darren. So I flinched away from him and crossed my arms in front of my face.

"Y/n?" Gibbs. It was Gibbs. That was it. Just Gibbs. I instantly pulled my arms down and straightened up.

"H-hey Gibbs. What um, what can I do for you." He just stared at me, giving me the usual Gibbs glare.

"You flinched." I grimaced. Of course I did. I didn't want him to find out like this, but I guess this is how its gonna go.

"Um- I, I. Well you see Gibbs-" he cut me off.

"Is someone hittin ya?" He paused thinking, before remembering my oh so lovely boyfriend. "That son of a bitch."

"Wait Gibbs. Its not what you think." But the damage was done. He was going through everything in his mind. My clothes, the grimaces everytime I jerked around, the excuses, the late nights avoiding going home. It all made sense to him now.

"Take off your shirt." My eyes grew wide.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." There was no avoiding this, he wasn't letting me off easily. I took a deep breath before grabbing the bottom of my turtleneck and bringing it over my head. His breath hitched when he saw the bruises that littered my skin.

"My god y/n." He shook his head, running the rough pads of his fingers up and down my arms. "Gonna kill him." And he stood back up, turning quickly before stomping towards the elevator. I slipped my shirt back on and ran after him, but he was already gone. I hurried down to the parking garage and jumped in my car speeding off.

He was gonna kill him. Although who would kill who, I didn't know.

I broke just about every speeding law on the way to my house. When I got there, the door was kicked open and yelling was coming from inside the house.

"Gibbs!" I shouted, running as fast as I could. I walked in the door and gasped. There was glass littering the floor, and picture frames scattered across the ground. I walked further in the house and found them in my kitchen. Gibbs on top of Darren, repeatedly punching him in the face.

"Gibbs! Stop!" I ran to him, pulling him off of Darren. "Stop, he isn't worth it." I pulled Gibbs up by his arm and dragged him away. But he wasn't finished.

"Ya ever go near her again, you're gonna wish you were dead. We'll come back for her stuff, you better not be here when we do." I wanted to cry, to scream, to shout. But I held it in, grabbing Gibbs more forcefully and dragging him back outside.

Once outside, we hopped in his car, and he began driving back to his house. Saying I was grateful was an understatement. Grateful that it was finally over. That maybe I could sleep at night now without worrying about waking up to another beating.

The ride was driven in silence, and soon we were at his house. He got out of the car and walked inside, leaving me out here by myslef. I walked in after him.

I found him in the the kitchen pouring a glass of Bourbon. I came up behind him hugging him.

"Thank you." He froze for a minute before turning in my grasp and brining me into a tight hug. And thats what started the tears. We stood there as I cried into his chest for what felt like forever. Until he finally pulled away and cupped my face.

"Ya didn't deserve any of that. Don't know what happened, or when it started. But ya didn't deserve any of it. You are beautiful and loved and noone should ever have to be treated the way you were." He paused and I began rambling out whatever words came to my mind.

"It was you. I stayed because he threatened you. He said he would hurt you and the team and I couldn't let him." He leaned his forehead against mine. The tears pouring steadily down my face, sobs racking by body.

"Shh, shh. Sweetheart its okay." He leaned in slightly, our lips brushing slightly. And then he leaned in the rest of the way, kissing me into he most gentle way he could. So much different than the bruising kisses that Darren would give me. He broke away after a second.

"Dont know if your ready for it, but I love ya." He said softly. "We can do this, if you want. At your own pace. I just want to show you whats its like to be loved the right way." I nodded.

"I might need some time. But I love you too... Jethro." He smiled.

"Take all the time you need. But m'not leaving your side." I giggled softly as he brought me into another hug. And I stood there whispering thank yous and I love yous until we headed off to bed. I hadn't felt this safe in a long time, and I never wanted to let this feeling go.

-------------

Hope you guys enjoyed this one. I'm really enjoying writing for Gibbs. Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! Im so sorry if I don't get to your request! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[kass-storycorner]

Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

[sexydreamgirl]

hi!! im that anon that asked abt turning back time and worrying abt time whatever. i totally forgot i asked that lol! that persisting actually went horribly because i was giving fear power and i was just so scared i spiraled for like 3 days. but yesterday i said no FUCK that. im gonna reclaim my power. idk if this is a success story or an ask but im gonna put it here anyway.

i put up sticky notes on the side of my computer to remind myself to NEVER look back, and that morning i decided that i had perfect self concept and that i WOULD be aware of it before the end of the day. i was so scared! lol but i kept persisting. i didnt give fear power, i pushed it by and said NO WAY! NOTHING can get in the way of me and inevitably becoming aware of my perfect self concept.

as the day went on i had less anxiety and everything and around 4 i did some tarot reading, it was all very very great outlook, but it definitely predicted something. two cards basically said that my ambitions were running the risk of being undermined by my timidity and lack of self confidence, and the other card said that i will likely find myself with a problem but i will overcome it and triumph, i have the courage to do so. it scared me a little but i kinda brushed it off.

flash forward an hour, im washin dishes and im like damn i feel pretty fuckin good abt my self concept actually! i sat down and rhe feeling faded but i went back to my room and suddenly i looked at the clock and i laughed so hard that i started crying. july 24th?? fr? lmao?? like...thats just not true. i couldnt stop, i was so happy i just knew that the world was in my pocket. i just knew that theres no way its july 24th, its insane to even think about anything but my desires being the truth. i genuinely truly felt inevitable peace in my desires, i didnt even desire them in the 3d anymore. that morning i felt like id never get out of that cycle of lack and anxiety so bad i wanted to throw up and couldn't sleep but there i was. it truly was the best feeling i could ever ask for.

but it faded. and i know it was an accidental reversal. i had a twinge of fear that i could jinx it, reverse it. before then i dont think i ever thought of the concept of knowing a manifestation couldnt be reversed, especially not as a part of a good sc, it just never crossed my mind because it seemed obvious. it was a fear i couldnt push back and ignore. i didnt realize then that dwelling on the old story and doubting and all that has no power, it doesnt matter if you do that. i couldnt tell if it was birds before land or a reversal at first but i decided it was a reversal, it makes more sense and it feels more uplifting that i truly did do it. i doubted so much and i was so scared but in the end i really did become aware of it. even though it faded i stuck true to the reading, i wouldnt let it bring me down, this is just proof of how powerful i am. i didnt fail, its just a speck of dirt in the palm of god. im still scared ofc haha, but today ill be doing the same thing but ensuring it'll be forever. that i'll never reverse it, that's impossible.

i'm scared but i'm going to do my best to not let a thing stop me. i did it! everything will only get easier from here. if you have any input though id love to hear it

"i didn't fail, it's just a speck of dirt in the palm of God"

This right here. You may have doubts, you may feel fear but you still choose to have courage and continue regardless of what you're feeling. This is persisting.

[venusguks]

— saccharine boy

pairing : reader x jeon jungkook

summary : the new transfer student is a bit strange…

genre : yandere jk, future smut, angst, dark, obsessive/possessive jk

warnings : this includes DARK themes with heavy topics. i dont support this unhealthy relationship dynamic irl. a huge TW for suicide, suicidal thoughts, tendencies, coaxing, themes. this is pure fiction so please know that if you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, this may be really really horrible to read :(( yn and jk both say shitty things

part 1 of ??

☽

i loved you before i even knew you

in days fleeting moments, the sun dipped into the ocean, casting a surge of honey waves to engulf the city whole.

it’s vast, golden essence poured through the mid-open windows and into the empty school hallways.

moments before, the laughter of the baseball team dissipated, and those who confessed to the whim of spring filtered emotions had left with tear stained cheeks.

it's empty enough that you can hear your own slip ons click against the floor.

click, click, click.

you walk up the stairs, stopping right in front of the rooftop door.

the rusted knob is cool under your skin, and bracing yourself for the wind, you twist it open.

the wind whisks past you ferociously, as if urging you to turn back. you should've heeded the warning then (how foolish of you not to), but instead, you open your eyes to the tangerine streaks of the sky.

that’s when you see him.

— ❝ hey, do you regret it? ❞

his silhouette wavered beyond the metal railings of the rooftop.

you don’t know why—what had possibly gone through your mind when you spoke. it wasn't your business—you could honestly care less for people like him,

because people like him were the same as you.

despite that, you couldn't stop yourself from screaming, "you're such an attention freak, you know that?! do you really want to be seen that much?"

his head slightly lifted.

would he listen to you? would he care?

because if it were you past that railing right now, you wouldn't stop for anyone.

but doesn’t he see?

if he jumps, right now, right in front of you,

doesn’t he know how much that would break you?

please, the wind swallows your desperation. i’m already broken enough, so please don't make it any worse.

when i muster up the courage like you someday, i need to die without the thought of you jumping in my head.

— ❝ oh, i see… you're scared of me.❞

"there are so many other ways to kill yourself. drowning, the rope—you can jump off literally any other god damned building for all i care—but don't you dare make it this building! don't you dare jump off in front of me."

you saw it, as the wind danced past him, just how lifeless his eyes were

it was as if the sun himself feared him—preferring to quickly drown into the blue abyss rather than be in his mere presence.

"i know this place is terrible—but the janitor is so kind. he's a single father of three children and if you jump, he'd have to break his back scrubbing your blood for hours. he'd come home and put on a happy face despite worrying if his children will turn out like you. so please, for the janitor's sake, deal with haunting this school a different way. your death would affect more people than you’d know, so please.”

he doesn’t move, so hesitantly, as if it would change anything, you quietly add, "ah, he gave me food one time too.”

the boy’s back quivered, and your own trembling heart ached for him—but what you thought was sniffing turned into a loud, hearty laugh

you stood there, dumbfounded as you watched him.

"you're..." he tries to say through his giggles. when he catches his breath, he finally turns to you with the biggest smile.

"you're really stupid."

— ❝ but would it help if i said i've always loved you? ❞

frozen, you can only stand there gaping at him.

"i was just watching the sunset, but your reaction was so funny. you don't know how hard it was not to laugh."

what…?

you blink once, twice—then turning your heel, you begin to walk away.

"h-hey! wait!" he called from beyond the railings. "i'm sorry, okay? i was having too much fun—i didn't mean to scare you. please forgive me."

"scare me?" you scoffed. "kill yourself for all i care. it doesn't have anything to do with me."

— ❝ since that day... ❞

you just blurted it out of spite. you knew it was cruel, you didn’t mean it. you were just so angry. how dare he make a fool out of you? make a joke out of this? in your eyes, he was far more cruel.

“fine then.”

you turn back with a vile glare, but your heart stops as he takes a step back.

the boy hums in viscous amusement when he sees the horror in your eyes. in front of the blazing red of the sun, wearing his wide smile, he resembled a demon.

"forgive me, or i'll let go."

"d-don’t be stupid," you scowl, but you could barely feel yourself breathe.

then, just like that, one of his finger tips leave the metal bar—then another, and another.

you don’t know when you started running or how you even got there, but as soon as you hooked your fingers around his collar, you gave everything to pull him back.

"are you crazy?!" you scream, hot tears trickling down your eyes.

his annoying fit of laughter only angered you more.

— ❝ i loved you before i even knew you. ❞

"like i said, forgive me—and i won't try it again," he chimed in a playful tone.

you couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

it scared you, his carelessness.

he scared you.

“okay, okay! i forgive you!” you yell exasperatedly. “god, you—you think this is funny? what the fuck is wrong with you?! you could’ve—just because i—y-you could’ve…r-right in front of me…and i-i…”

"hey, hey..." he chuckles softly, interlocking his fingers with yours through the metal fence.

you refused to look at him, but you could still feel the tingling warmth of his skin. you were close, the bars only stopping at your torso. when you look back at it, you remembered the seeping reality of his beauty.

his voice, his touch, him...

everything he did made you feel so out of control, so vulnerable.

who was he? why did you have to meet him?

"i knew you'd catch me, its fine."

"that's not the point here you suicidal bitch! i mean—what were you thinking? are you out of your mind? i swear to god—if you jumped and i became a suspect of murder, i'd dig up your own grave and kill you again!”

the boy’s eyes widened, shock dancing with his own bemusement. they were the same lifeless brown, but golden specks glimmered in where he looked at you.

finally, he smiles, “you’re horrible.”

you give a viscious glare, but before you can retort something, he continues, his hand trailing up your arm.

"but at the same time, horrible people don’t try to save a horrible person from dying. no, you can’t be horrible,” a cold shiver runs through your body when his fingers brush against your collarbone. “you’re just a sweet girl, aren’t you? an angel who saved me…”

he pulls you closer by your neck, his lips barely touching the shell of your ears. your breath hitches, and your knees suddenly feel weak.

“i’d love to ruin you.”

nothing comes out of your mouth.

all you can hear is your heart thumping against your chest. all you can feel is the unbearable heat blooming on your cheeks, and all you can see is him.

finally, his words settle in.

“get the fuck off me you creep!”

— ❝ you're never leaving me, my love. i won't let you. ❞

ː

a/n : i’m so so so sorry if this triggered some people. this may be poorly written as well as i’ve written this YEARS ago. as you might tell, i was suicidal then and i often incorporated that in writing—its a way to get it off my chest sort of. to have relatable characters is something thats always made me comfortable. honestly rereading it again nothing makes sense LOL but i thought i’d continue it just for fun. i hope whoever has come across this is having a lovely and healing day, stay safe starlights <3

[fwkei]

Remember...?

Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)

Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy 

TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work

WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻‍♀️)

Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao

------------------------------------

You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.

What now?  

You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing 

You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own. 

You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more. 

“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes 

“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head 

“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up 

“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down 

You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.  

This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat. 

Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid. 

Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything. 

As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face. 

“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you 

“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails 

“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head 

“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair 

“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness 

“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously 

“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling 

“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema 

“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked 

“Oh good!” they both said 

“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi 

“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited 

“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema 

“A brothel..” you said under your breath 

Your mind was in a serious state of concentration. 

It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor. 

You thought to yourself 

You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement. 

“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands 

“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk 

“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name 

“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin 

“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand 

“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly 

“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head 

“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel 

You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being. 

The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.   

“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour 

“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling 

“I’m sure..!” you smiled 

“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set 

“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again 

“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling 

“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex. 

After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.  

You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest. 

You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile 

“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed 

“Hi!” you said frantically 

“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema 

“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes 

“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready 

As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’ 

You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side. 

“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you

“Yes.” you said smiling 

“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand 

“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down

“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said 

“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands

“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing 

“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling 

“Right!” you said getting up 

“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling 

“Okay.” you said doing as he said 

He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you. 

“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous

“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers 

“Yeah that's right.” you said 

“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes 

“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face

“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said 

“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving   

You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve 

That went pretty well.

You thought 

You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open. 

“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head 

Is this Ken? 

You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you

You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are. 

“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit 

“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks 

“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables 

“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles 

“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant 

“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly. 

“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you 

“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing 

“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly 

“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him. 

“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit 

“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite

“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food 

“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup

“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table 

“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake

He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something. 

“Are you okay?” you asked 

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought 

“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit 

Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something. 

Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already. 

But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him. 

“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted 

“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt 

“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi

Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave. 

Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?

He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away

Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.

“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you. 

Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work. 

As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember? 

It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before. 

Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.

You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.

“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling 

“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.

“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed 

“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.

“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen 

“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.

“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up  

You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head. 

What now..?

You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.

“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying 

“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi 

Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity. 

How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that. 

“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back

“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face 

“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out 

You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..

Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.

You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.

You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.

“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper 

“Yes.” you said still looking down

“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out 

“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock 

“Come in.” he said 

“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’ 

“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop 

Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot. 

“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you

You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile

“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave 

You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you 

You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry. 

“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said 

“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated 

“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch 

“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes 

“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist 

“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you

“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him 

You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence 

“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face

A lighter?

“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop

“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled 

“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene 

“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone 

The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face 

“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man 

“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight 

“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh 

You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.

“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle 

“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry 

“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried

“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.

“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two 

“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men 

“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face 

“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both 

You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then. 

“Here.” you said smiling at the cops 

“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you

“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks 

You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same 

“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes

“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot 

“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store 

After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.  

“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter 

“..Thanks” he said 

“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling 

“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket

“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him 

“Yeah..” he said smiling 

“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink 

“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said 

“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff 

“Why’d you do it?” he asked 

“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him 

“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face 

“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden

“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously 

“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered 

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand 

“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing 

“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”

“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “

After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.

“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.

“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up 

“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction 

He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back 

“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled. 

“Likewise.” 

And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down. 

“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”

“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop 

“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement 

“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars 

You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face. 

“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile 

“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face 

“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows 

“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor

“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him 

“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said 

“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked 

“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him 

Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..

“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen 

“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part 

“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes 

“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face

After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock. 

“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear 

“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly  

You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?

He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.

[beann-e]

Haikyu! Characters With A Shy Manager

Inarizaki Boys With A Shy Manager

tw” joke about ‘offing’ ones self & also overbearing parents

Read Part One Here

osamu

-osamu is someone who’s laidback and doesn’t show his anger much except for when his brother pisses him off and right now Atsumu was nearing the edge of his brothers patience

“ I don’t care what you do as long as your happy “

“ if thats what you want to do then who are we to stop you “

your eyes traveled as you watched osamus mouth quirk up in a small smile before turning into a frown at his brothers face

His body ignoring him and looking to you awaiting your answer his eyes speaking as if your words could change his decision

“ uh I— I don’- “

“ who cares what yer think “ atsumus voice came out in a yell as he turned to his brother

“ are you stupid why would you leave all of this — why would you throw all of this away “ he moved to point to everything in the gym and the balls that sat idle after a match theyd just played and won

“ this can provide for a family — life after high school ‘samu and you want to “

his face came up in confusion “ and you want to leave it all for a restaurant how — why— why would that make sense to you — it’s stupid “

you felt your body go slack as your face dropped into a pout at atsumu’s claims . Throughout all the times you’d seen them argue this had to be the biggest one you’d ever seen take place in front of the team.

You felt horrible your mouth wanted to open to try to protect osamu seeing as he was the only one who put effort into trying to speak with you.

Ever since you joined the team no one could really understand why you were so quiet except for osamu who would sit next to you during breaks and lunches that he’d share his food with you after you finished the bento box he’d made you

your heart tore as you watched him look to the ground ‘ just say something ‘samu please if this is what you want then tell him — it’s your life ‘

“ have you ever stopped and thought about how this may just be what you want ‘tsumu “

atsumus yells stopped as he heard his brothers voice and head pop up to target him

“ maybe this isn’t something I feel my talents are best used for “

he stood with his eyebrows furrowed in determination “ I like food — it makes me happy just like volley’ makes you so — I don’t care if it’s hard and not as easy as volleyball is for me right now —I want to do what my minds telling me to do “

he huffed “ and that’s to cook and open my own restaurant“

he moved to walk over to his brother to get closer with both his words and body “ and don’t you ever yell at them like that again you probably made them piss their pants “

he calmed himself down as he looked his brother in the eyes “ if your nice now “ he huffed out putting his arms into a hold across his chest “ maybe I might just give you a free meal when I open my restaurant “

Everyone’s body turned in shock and fear when they looked behind them to see your body shaking mouth being ripped open with a calming laugh as you clutched at you stomach

Everything seemed to slow in the gym as osamu watched your body ripple with the loud laugh that came out. Wondering how you’d held it inside for so long seeing as this was the first time anyone heard you laugh

“ y-y/n why — why are you laughing “

“ how can you laugh at a time like this we’re fighting“ Atsumus voice had calmed down in a state of panic at your new behavior

“ because osuma said you not gonna get any food“ you smiled “ and I know right now you don’t care but I bet when you get older and you see his amazing restaurant with a long line in front your gonna wish you’d sucked it up in this moment so you can take that free plate “

osamus mouth itched as his wide eyes squeezed shut at your bright smile his mouth opening before he could stop himself “ if you believe in me so much please believe I could keep you fed if you date me “

your body froze as everyone now turned in fear from you to osamu

“ Will I get rice for lunch everyday “ you giggled

“ i’ll make you anything you want out of rice if that’s what you like — i’ll even make you a wedding ring out of rice “

you laughed as you shook your head in a yes form “ as long as the foods included and you never give up on your dreams — no matter who believes in them “

your voice was soft “ then yes i’ll date you osamu “

you watched as he smiled widely sticking his tounge out at his brother “ oh now it’s really fuck what you think ‘tsumu— cause your the one who told me food wouldn’t be enough to get them to date me— I should’ve just made them the cake like I wanted and asked ‘em out “

The team all stood in shock as Arans mouth opened and closed before he spoke again “ u-uh how did that even make sense— what just happened “

sunas body relaxed against the wall as he spoke soft and quiet “ osumas quit volley’ to be a chef, y/n believes in him so their dating, and “ he pointed to atsumu

“ and once again Atsumu looks stupid “

Atsumu

-he’s not one who would necessarily get along with someone shy nor do I see him being able to. The way he acts may go two ways it may make the person comfortable or it may just irritate them and make them even more anxious

-I don’t think he’s one to see the signs , he would probably take your uncomfortable laughter as him making you laugh and tell the whole team he finally broke you and got you to laugh

“ atsumu “

The setter called as he threw up a new set for his brother in the two on two practice match. His hand hitting the ball hard in a spike as he won his team the final point

Your body dropping as you immediately knew what was coming “ y/n-san did you see that “

“ y-yes atsumu-senpai “

“ it was cool wasnt it “ he said as he moved towards you

“ y-yes “

he smirked as he slid his hands in his pocket looking down on you as he came to a stop in front of your body “ well when your just a great player like me things like that come easy so you don’t have to worry if I hurt myself or not “

he looked away from you and to the floor but eyes darting up to look at you again quickly “ because I didn’t so yeah — don’t think I did “

you smiled softly trying to think of a way out of this “ I-I didn’t think so “

“ yeah see you know someone like me would never get injured —I have to be a great role model to my sweet little first year“

he patted your head as he sat down next to you feet out in front of him “ don’t go turning into one of my annoying fan girls ok y/n “

“ I won’t “

“ ah you don’t mean that “ he bumped you softly “ you love me—so your loves gonna blind you you’ll see “

“ oh “

“ see you do — and I love you too “

“ dude they dont even like talking to you “

“ oh shut yer trap yes they do their in love with me we’re destined to be together “

“ yeah in death — that’s what your gonna do ‘tsumu yer gonna make them off theirselves by hearing yer loud mouth every single time you win a match “

“ y/n you love me right “

your body flamed as you let out an uncomfortable laugh moving over on the bench “ they look —their laughing because it’s true “

his body stopped “ wait “

you felt as the wheels were turning in his head —a bit slow but they were turning

his voice coming out in mumbles “ if their laughing— and i’m talking— and now their laughing after I spoke —-l”

he yelled “ I MADE Y/N-SAN LAUGH “

he screamed in happiness smile huge “ I made them laugh guys “

he jolted up jumping when he stood before racing over to the group that all turned to look at him “ their laughing guys I — I did it their laughing their laug—“

your eyes darted to the floor as atsumu fell head first into the floor his voice coming out in a whine as he shook coming up to grab his nose in pain before reaching down to rub his ankle that he felt was thumping like crazy

“ y-you lied you did hurt yourself “

he moved to run his hand across the back of his neck “ well when you say hurt what do you me—“

your laugh came out in short giggles as you tried to hide it not wanting to give him the satisfaction of making you laugh your head turning to the side as you gave up and laughed into the air

Your giggles sounding like a song atsumu always wanted to play through his headphones when he would walk to school

His body thinking before his mind as he stood up and ran again towards the team “ Guys their — I did it again and you all saw — i’m amazing “

he fell forward again but this time just lying there as he mumbled into the ground

“ their totally in love with me — I made ‘em laugh not once but twice in a row —I got a real shot now“

Aran

-I don’t know much about him because I haven’t finished haikyu! I just know what i’ve gathered from short clips or from what i’ve seen already in the seasons & read in manga but he’s very open minded

-whenever he’s around you he’s always quick to snap and stop someone from telling you that you aren’t allowed to do something because it’s “ not logical “

Your body moved slowly to the gyms exit as you felt a hand come down over your shoulder

“ walk ‘ya home ? “

you looked up face stoic in a slight yes at Arans question

since you’d joined the team as manager you had yet to connect with the other boys only really speaking to Aran and helping him out when he needed it

He came to like being around you because you were a change of pace from his usual one dealing with the twins antics. So it wasn’t that hard to hear him asking to walk you home for the past few nights when practice ran too long

he sighed as he looked down at you “ you never really speak but I feel like your face talks for you “

you looked to the ground as he laughed “ get it because your always stoic —and your face shows noth—ok“

he looked away not hearing your laugh or seeing a smile deciding to cough the atmosphere away “ ok yeah get it “

it wasn’t that you didn’t want to laugh you just couldnt your parents dug into you anytime you went home. Theyd have your head if you didn’t focus only on your studies so, it was hard for you to talk or even be around other people when it wasn’t for class it made you anxious and you weren’t sure how to interact

People took this as you being shy and you weren’t going to explain that you wanted to talk but just didn’t know how

He let his hand fall from your shoulder as the walk soon came to a close him leaving you to walk up to the stairs to your home

“ you may go “ you said softly as he shook his head with a big smile on his face

“ nope not until I know your in your house safely “

you nodded your head as you took a deep breath the door opening before your hand could meet the lock your fathers voice knocking you on your butt

“ who is this — who is he y/n “

“ I-I “

“ I heard more than your voice out here and came to the door “

“ were you waiting up for me “

“ yes you didn’t come home after school today “

“ oh I— there was a math meet i’m sorry “ your father looked away in disgust as you lied

“ your lying to me I called your school and they said you quit mathletes to be a manager of some volleyball club “

you gulped “ I um “

“ why would you do something stupid like that it can’t help you in the future — with your studies “

“ because I um — I like “

you shut yourself up just nodding your head as your father beat into you “ so dumb I thought I raised you correctly it doesn’t matter what you want to do or what’s fun you do what makes you smart and whats logical you do not hold feeli—“

“ I think their happy “ Aran smiled at the scene in front of him “ I think they enjoy being our manager very much “

“ and who told you to spea-“

“ my heart — it guides a person to make decisions ones like I just made — and ones that you made — you want the best for your daughter right “

you fathers actions faltered as Aran continued to press into him “ If you want the best than you have to realize y/n Is tired and she’s not used to friendly interaction — she’s very out of place and uncomfortable around people because she’s only used to school work“

he shook his head in concern “ is this what you want for your child — for your kid to only know how to talk about school and not have a moment where their not spending it thinking about math equations and growing overworked “

“ well I— “

“ on our volleyball team we work ourselves hard yes— but we’ve also become great friends through this hard work we’re happy doing what we do because our hearts led us to do it not our parents “

he looked to you and back to your father as he stood looking up from the bottom of the stairs “ so I ask that you let your child stay on the volleyball team since their heart brought them there to sign up for the job one tuesday afternoon at 3:30 in our gym during our second winning match of the season “

your dad nodded his head in shock as he whispered out an ok

Aran smiling and leaving after waving to you with a short see you tomorrow

Your dad holding the house door open for you as he walked over whispering out to you “ you better marry that boy “ he smiled as he moved through the house

“ he remembered every detail about when he first met you “