#i completely bounced off it at episode 7 and i was like... this will probably be the dumbest thing i've even watched but i don't know

[raziraphale]

it's hard to joke about samurai flamenco (my beloved) bc while I'm not a person who cares about spoilers, I realize I'm in the minority here and a lot of people think the best way to experience the show is to go in completely blind. but like... guys... I cannot stress this enough [spoiler spoiler spoiler oh my god spoiler] but that boy went to the moon and met god, the literal universe itself. he was even gay. if you even care.

[chrismcleaneatspants]

General season 2 opinions. MASSIVE TDI 2023 season 2 spoilers ahead (as well as a huge wall of text.) You've been warned.

Ok, so here's everything I like about the season (I can count them on my fingers)

-There were some funny jokes

-MKulia was entertaining and it's now in my top 5 favorite ships, but it's not perfect, as I'll explain later

-Hockey dudes were a joy to watch I suppose

-Bowie stole the show as usual

-There are a lot of neat challenges (The canoe, slide, and dog challenges was a particular stand outs to me)

-MK herself was really funny

-MacArthur's cameo was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one, and she bounces off of Chris really well

-Duncney is still broken up lol

Honestly that's about it in terms of positives, cuz I have a million other negatives for this supposed sequel to (imo) the best written season of the show.

-The Relationships were the single worst aspect about this season full stop. Ripaxel and Praleb are probably the worst couples the show has ever subjected me to. For Ripaxel, they basically removed anything interesting Ripper had going on and Axel wasn't allowed to live up to any kind of hype she created because one lame ass poem turned her into Ripper's girlfriend for the remaining duration of her run, only for the both of them to be tossed aside in episode 7 in perhaps the worst double elimination in the entire show.

-Praleb started off ok. I thought it was gonna be a one-sided crush plot initially before Episode 6. They had a couple cute moments before episode 8, of which their screentime became suffocating because afterwards is was this painful back and forth where Caleb tried explaining himself and Priya would be mad at him, then ally with him, then be mad at him again like it was so tiresome. By the time they got together in the finale again, I was wishing they had just followed up on Pramien instead. Caleb by himself was funny in the first half of season 2 and Priya was great in season 1, but the two of them together were insufferable

-Speaking of Priya, she went from one of the best characters in season 1 to one of the worst in season 2. Why did she have to make it all the way to episode fucking 12 after winning season 1?? Just for some generic heterosexual romance? They also made her so dumb with shit like knowing Julia is manipulating her but then getting a surprise Pikachu face when Julia manipulated her??? You spent your entire life preparing for this show, how the fuck did you not see this coming???

-Segwayying into Julia, she's the worst antagonist full stop. I've never seen such an absolute downgrade of a character. She was a goat in season 1 who was aware of her situation and acted accordingly because the stakes were real. Here? Reality basically warps around her just to keep her in the game. She does things characters would never fall for in season 1 and they just go with it?? They insist on keeping her in the finale and do basically nothing interesting with her. She's not even as funny as Island Heather at the end of the day.

-I mentioned MKulia earlier, so I'll just get to it here: I like it in concept. Two evil sapphics causing chaos together is really fun. My main issue is that it was very sudden. They both were not fans of each other at the end of season 1 and now I'm supposed to just believe they became friends off screen? I mean, I guess, but it's kinda cheap. I would have really liked it if it was straight up enemies to lovers ngl. Also the fact MK had very little agency outside of being Julia's lackey doesn't help either. I want to point to the fake contract thing, for instance. Why did Julia do that? That sounds like an MK thing to do.

-Time to dive into other characters: Damien is an absolute fucking tragedy. At the end of season 1, Damien had one ambition: win next season. They kinda did that, sure, but they regressed Damien into being a complete coward to do so, not to mention he didn't even go all the way either. Damien didn't get a W until episode 6 and tbh that was his only W. By the end of his tenure, I was left confused on what the point of his run was. (I'll come back to this later.)

-What was the point of Nichelle? Like seriously, what did she contribute to the season at all? They didn't do the ironic underdog story with her, and considering she was getting all egotistical and aggressive, i thought she was gonna be the antagonist for sure...until Julia got rid of her in episode 5 in a way that really shouldn't make sense cuz like Nichelle is an actual celebrity that stars in blockbuster movies, I'm pretty sure she could sniff a fake contract a mile away, right?

-Hockey dudes were great, but I felt like they were very dumbed down at times? Like they were just generic dumb dudes that just meandered around a lot of the time (Wayne in particular just straight up floated away from a challenge at one point)

-Bowie was alright too. His line delivery is great as usual, but let's not kid ourselves: In a well written season, he'd be going straight for Julia the next time his team lost. Bowraj was nice to see even if the season didn't really do a whole lot with it

-Am I the only one who thinks this season is a tad bit misogynistic? Like this is the shortest them phase the show as ever had (to the point where i'd argue teams don't really matter) and 4 of the 5 team phase boots were girls. Millie and Emma in particular were really bad. Like, you could make Millie a team phase boot without like shitting on her that hard. And Emma got like fuck all closure outside of breaking up with Chase off screen like wow, way to utilize such a high potential character, Fresh. And this is saying nothing about how the girls that did make it to the merge had plots basically dominated by romance and like nothing else. And then there's MKulia which is apparently intended to be a friendship but like is written like a romantic one at times. It gives me all-stars gwourtney vibes and (as a fan of gwourtney myself) not in a good way. At least MK and Julia were somewhat in character I guess, but they had their edges really sanded off and honestly as a friendship (situationship?) it's a complete downgrade from Millie and Priya in so many ways

-And another thing: who's the protagonist this season? Outside of Praleb, who am I supposed to care for? Who am I supposed to root for? By the halfway mark, the show doesn't really make any convincing arguments to root for like anyone there outside of maybe Damien? And he went gone in episode 10, so like, hockey dudes? No one has an interesting enough narrative for me to care.

-The immunity idol stinks as usual. Like, why did Damien do THE SAME FUCKING THING HEATHER DID IN ALL-STARS?? That actually pissed me off so much holy shit. The immunity idol as it stands in the show is basically a shitty plot device made to keep characters in as there's no real strategy revolved around it.

-Oh and another minor thing: Owen's cameo sucks, and that's entirely due to him not being physically aged up at all and just being a vehicle for the same dumb jokes they always make with him. so stupid

-Anyways, I spend an entire season with two shitass straight relationships taking up screentime, a whole multiude of potential plotlines from last season (pramien) and this season (scary girl's revenge, millie being the new ripper, damien's comeback, julia having internal conflict over her friendship (feelings?) for MK) being set up and just nothing being done with them, and characters in general just being nerfed or borderline out of character (Ripper) and what am I rewarded with?

-Soar Losers. The most boring nothing finale in the entire show. The choices for finalists suck, Wayne, while being the least bad option for a winner (and i do still like him a lot), is still a mid ass winner in the grand scheme of the entire show. And more praleb drama? fuck off I hate them so much. The challenge did not feel finale worthy at all, and honestly it was the worst challenge in the whole season. On top of being a bunch of nothing, the show decides to bring back the worst trope it ever had: losing hair as karma. I almost ragequit the episode on the spot that shit makes me so irrationally mad. I think it's even worse here because Julia still had hair after the fact, which makes it seem like they were aware it's not a popular TD trope but wanted to half commit to it anyways for the sake of tradition or something. Terrible finale to an already decently sized letdown of a season, but it has some ok MKulia moments I guess. The finale was just emblematic of the entire season, where things just happen and you're just expected to go along with everything. (Also side note how come Chase wasn't the one to jump off of the cart for pizza immediately?)

TL;DR reboot season 2 imo was a step down in every conceivable way from season 1 apart of i guess comedy and it's left a very sour taste in my mouth. I'm probably missing a few points that I'll add onto later but man it feels nice putting my opinion out there.

[inquisitorjeeves]

Thoughts on Arcane Season 2 Act 3

That last act started off pretty great, but to me slowly devolved into a rushed, kinda awful mess. Acts 1 and 2 were pretty good, and even Episode 7 was very solid, but holy hell that last episode was underwhelming.

Things I enjoyed:

Singed getting away with everything and even succeeding at his goal is honestly impressive. He’s a top 3 character for me, I have to respect his villainy paying off.

Ekko is one of the coolest characters in Arcane. The time travel device was cool as fuck and it sucks that it was destroyed by the end. Maybe he can remake it, if so, I hope he does.

The fact that the timeline where Vi dies and Jayce is either exiled or is also dead ends up feeling better than the main timeline is hilarious to me. Mylo and Claggor alive, Vander and Silco bury the hatchet, Benzo alive, Powder and Ekko are apparently a thing(?), Piltover and Zaun seem to have improved relations, everyone feels pretty stable and happy for the most part. Even that dipshit Marcus probably got to lead a better life. That’s funny in a sad way.

Sevika lived! I was expecting her to die, so I’ll take the win.

Despite the ending itself, I have to say the animation all the way to the end was top notch. Props the all the animators.

Isha was one of the best parts of season 2, seriously I’m so sad she died. Her sacrifice was one of the high points (well, low points, but you get the idea) of the entire season.

Ashes and Blood is my favorite new song from the season, and I’m glad they released a version of Enemy with the instrumentals of the opening added in.

Things that bothered me/I didn’t like:

Viktor being the mage that saved Jayce is a level of stupid up there with ‘Eren is the reason Eren gets titan powers’ for me. If the only reason you get powers is because of something you weren’t involved in that happened before you got those powers, then how did you get them the first time!!! It feels so unnecessary and convoluted. I feel like Viktor changing his mind at the end doesn’t even need that to be a thing, just seeing the end result of his ‘glorious evolution’ would probably be enough.

I can't believe that Ambessa was added to League of Legends only to completely fumble her goals in the show and die. Had a badass theme song and everything. Fucking loser.

Where did Jayce and Viktor even go??? Are they gone, trapped in a crystal, sent to the shadow realm???? What even happens if they can come back????? Can they come back???????

After everything that happened between Piltover and Zaun, even just in these two seasons, the resolution of the conflict felt underwhelming. That was a driving force behind most of the series, but in the last act feels like a footnote.

Other thoughts:

Maddie being a traitor was unexpected, at least to me. That isn’t a critique, and her death was one of my favorite death scenes ever. Says one liner, immediately killed by her own bullet. Peak comedy.

I’ve already seen people saying that Jinx could be alive. I hope it’s true since she’s far and away my favorite character in the entire show. Her spiral into suicidal depression and bounce back felt like it suffered the most from the rushed ending. If that was her on the airship, I’m glad that she left all the pain behind and gets to sail away into parts unknown.

Overall, I’m not interested in another League of Legends show, regardless of who it focuses on, because I’d rather not see an excellent first season then have to watch it stumble and break its face at the end. That is not appealing to me at all. Not even if Jinx, assuming she survived, is involved.

Also them saying ‘it was always planned to be 2 seasons’ only for the ending to feel like it does leads me to believe that anybody who says ‘it was planned like this/X was planned from the start’ is most likely talking out of their ass.

My opinions may shift with time, and who knows how I’ll feel even six months from now, but this is how I currently feel about everything.

[snow-noodle]

Hi. It's the anon who made the ask about a lot of your Ninjago oc's element information here's some questions I have for your oc. Hopefully you don't mind me asking

1. When did Winter first appear?

2. When did she join the ninja?

3. Is Wu her teacher?

4. When did she unlock her True Potential?

5. Is she dating anybody?

6. What is her sexuality and gender?

7. What is her relationships like with the other ninja?

8. What is her relationships with her family?

9. Was she thought to be dead like Zane, Cole, Kai, and Jay, in Hunted?

10. If not how did she deal with their "deaths?"

Thank you for answering all of my questions!

I honestly don't mind at all you are more than welcome to ask more if you get more questions. Her name is Winter Quartz and I've had her since I was a teen I'm now just redesigning and reworking her. She use to be Floral but I had originally wanted her to be Crystal in which I made her now.

1. Winter first appears a bit after S1 Ep6: The Snake King. She was on a self discovery journey from when Wu started training the first 4 ninja.

2. She joins almost as soon as she returned yet took her time to learn and understand the team before fully joining. She needed to adjust to the suddenly loud setting she was thrown into on her return.

3. Wu is the one to teach her Spinjutzu and to be a ninja while her father is the one to teach her how to use her element. She technically has two teachers.

4. First I'll go into what held her back from her potential: She believes that she needs to be perfect not realizing to be perfect she needs to accept that she is imperfect which is completely natural as nothing is truly "perfect".

Winter unlocks her potential via her sudden realization that no one is perfect during the episode All of Nothing and is the last to unlock her potential.

5. Dating wise she would probably be dating but who she would be dating I don't know. She has retried the perfect match console when it was released tho didn't trust the output.

6. Demisexual, Panromantic and Female

7. She likes the other ninja and is closer to some over the others.

Lloyd- She is very close to him usually there to support and understand him being his rock at times. She likes being around him and feels bad that he was forced to grow up faster than anyone should. She had gifted him a crystal explaining its spiritual meaning in hopes it helps him. Cole- They had originally bonded over the fact that she is talented in cooking and baking. He is her Taste tester for any new recipes she's trying but he's not helpful in opinions. Once she learned of the Royal Blacksmiths, She loves teasing him and tries to get him to sing and or dance. Kai- He can be way too much for her at times and it the main one making her have to take a step back from the chaos. She not a fan of his hotheaded and impulsive nature but does respect him. She does enjoy seeing how much he cares about his sister and understands he is a good person just sometimes he's a bit much. Jay- Her and him tend to bounce off each other with energy and jokes yet she feels that sometimes he gets annoying to a point. This could be because of their similar personalities but to be honest its a sibling dynamic between the two for the most part from teasing to fighting. Zane- He is one of the few she feels comfortable around and the go to for peace if she doesn't want to be alone. She likes to talk to him to try and understand him better even if so emotions and voice tones are difficult for him. She does try to help him learn and understand but know there's a chance he just doesn't understand, Nya- She respects Nya with her stance of how she's viewed by others. There is some envy mostly because Winter had always wanted a sibling. She enjoys the girls talk they get to do when it was just them as the girls on the team. Its a whole girls empowering girls dynamic. Pixel- She's ok with Pixel. She not close nor does she dislike her. She like that Zane has Pixel and was excited in learning that her hunch that the new Samurai X was her. there's not too much to their relationship Arin- She's still warming up to him especially after everything in the merge. She enjoys his pies and empathizes with him in his lost. Sora- She can see that Sora has potential and that her doubt is holding her out. She helps Lloyd in Sora's training specifically seeing a part of her younger self in Sora Wyldfyre- She's not too fond of Wyldfyre especially when she's so much like Kai. She's trying her best to get along with her but its gonna take more time for her to do so.

8. Winter is very close to her father as he was the one to have raised and taken care of her her whole life he's the reason for why she knows anything about her mother who had died during birth. She was named in honor of her mother.

9. Yeah. This might change

10. She was thought to be dead but if i change this she would be depressed they where her friends and family and causes her to struggle regaining her control of her elemental power because she can't focus.

I am more than happy to answer anymore questions about Winter.

[sorchathered]

Outer Range spoilers under the cut, you’ve been warned bbs

Ok, I just finished the season, didn’t have a chance to binge after getting back from Japan and hitting the ground running but I managed to avoid spoilers thankfully.

1. Episode one almost felt like a completely different show, I knew from the beginning that a new showrunner meant a direction change but it didn’t seem to have that odd obscure factor to it last season had. Rhett content is mostly what I am here for and thankfully while fleeting he made sure to stand out with his endearing panic over all the cats in the hotel and all the ridiculous faces he pulled. Billy being alive and getting some musical content was exactly what I hoped for, Noah Reid is a scene stealer and I adore him.

2. Helloooo young Royal, I honestly didn’t think I’d find you appealing but something about your arms nearly busting the sleeves of that pearl button up got me going. Perry is almost human in these scenes with his father, I have been a huge member of the fuck Perry Abbott fan club so if I’m giving him a compliment just know it’s shocking me too. Rhett finding out about Amy tore my heart up, he may be done with his family but he loves his niece with all of his heart. Maria once again gives me the ick, she consistently proves time and time again that she doesn’t know anything about Rhett but she enjoys the attention he gives her. I think she is just using him to get out of Wabang and it could really have been anyone who gave her the time of day to sweep her away from that town, Rhett just happened to be mooning over her enough that she finally took notice.

3. While I am still on the fence about this new showrunner and the direction, RHETT’S NAKED ASS 🥵

Lew still wins the battle of the top gun boys in the best ass around battle, I’m sorry but you could bounce quarters off that thing it is perfection.

Luke Tillerson is a weirdo fuck boy, dude you are a pos as a brother and now you think your purpose is to follow autumn around like a puppy. I’d say grow up but I think that you don’t have the ability.

4. Idk that we needed an entire episode about Joy, but I did enjoy this one. It gave us more insight into how the past can change the present through the hole and while it didn’t make much sense in the rules of time travel I did like seeing how it changed things in Royal’s life and joy’s little one finding the picture with her mom in it from the 1880’s.

5. That choking scene finally makes more sense in the context of Cecilia’s dream. Lily Taylor has been crushing it this season, her character development has been phenomenal. I feel like the interpretation of the dream was something I would need to watch a few times to really understand, but I felt so much for her in that moment. Amy and Autumn having a psychic connection during Autumn’s trip with the mineral was crazy, I’m glad she got her memories back but she just continues to puzzle me more and more.

6. This episode was WILD. So much packed into an hour. I agree with everyone else that this Rhett/Dr Nia subplot was fucking weird, I get it though get your bag baby. He didn’t get nearly enough time for us to understand why he wanted to do it or what drove him to do something that felt so out of character for him. Rip Billy, you were far too camp and fabulous for this world and you deserved so much more, Luke and Autumn’s creepy sexual tension strikes again and I haaaattteee it. Royal did the right thing for once sending Perry back, he needs to get his shit together and somehow young Royal seems to be the only level headed person right now (insanity!).

Joy has got some serious PTSD, I am so glad her wife is understanding but she needs to speak to someone, it’s going to boil over soon enough.

7. I meant to discuss everything with Rebecca but now is as good a time as any. When Autumn says that she only took Amy out of spite it really tied it all together. She never loved Perry, she probably never loved Amy, she seems extremely selfish and childish and I feel for Amy because she doesn’t have anyone right now. She thinks she can trust the people she knows from back home and that backfires horribly in her face. When Autumn shows Rebecca the vision and I realized the whole thing is about Amy being a sacrifice for the hole I felt a pit in my stomach. This poor child has been through hell, and now she doesn’t have any choice but to be thrust into becoming the person Autumn is engineering her to be. Perry saving Trevor came at such a weird cost, I audibly gasped when I realized what was about to happen. I can’t imagine how weird that must be, carrying your own corpse home to lay it to rest and realizing that you have a chance to change everything. But again the rules of time travel don’t seem to apply here, because I don’t think Wayne would have thrown himself in the hole if Trevor was still alive in his present, and it would have changed every single circumstance that brought them to this point.

Regardless the season was ok, plot was hard to follow (more than usual) and in some scenes it felt like I was watching a totally different show. I think I like that we can continue to write our fics about Rhett and that the show didn’t alter our perception of him as much, but I also think he should have had more time. His character development was almost non existent, like @delopsia and I were talking about the other day, they should have rustled up a few of us Rhett writers and we could have really crushed this season. I’ll continue to live in delulu fanfic land because as much as I was excited for this season it just wasn’t what I hoped for.

[daisydoctor13]

Thank you @pers-books for tagging me in this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

23

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

181,794

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Holby city mostly, and then a few of other Jemma Regrave characters - I've written a Frankie fic, and a couple of Doctor Who ones with Kate Stewart

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Wrong Side of Fifty Something Old, Something New What lasts forever can't be rushed Hey, Soul Sister Fragments of Eternity

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I did, but haven't in so long but I'm about to reply to them all now. I always thought if someone was taking the time to comment on my fic I should say thank you, but I've felt bad about not writing so haven't gone on to AO3 to comment in like 2 years. But I still get email notifications whenever someone comments and I read the comment and they make me smile

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I genuinely don't think I am capable of writing angsty endings hahaha. I've definitely written angsty fics but they've always ended with some sort of happy note or at least hopeful? I think there's a couple of very short fics in the Fragments of Eternity work that are a bit angtsy but no plot just each of the characters thoughts that aren't the happiest

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Right I'm very much discovering I don't have any memory of what I've written, I think of the ones I've finished the happiest at the end with like a proper conclusion is Wrong Side of Fifty

8. Do you get hate on fic?

I did once get a very long comment on fanfic.net about how completely unrealistic one of my fics was which at the time annoyed me because I'd put a lot of time into researching things but had to rely on a *BIT* of suspension of disbelief from the reader because i KNEW it wasn't completely right (and had said so in the notes, but I wanted to tell the story anyway). But otherwise no, but i think the berena fandom are just all so lovely and supportive and my fics don't particularly break containment and i don't think they're that controversial

9. Do you write smut?

Heavily hinted at smut. None of my fics are more than M rated, because it all starts to get a bit too...anatomical when I try to write more explicit stuff. I leave the smut writing to the experts and thoroughly enjoy reading it instead haha

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't really, but I've written a Berena AU set in another TV show (Hustle) where the characters are all from Holby but the setting and the plots are adapted from Hustle episodes (I still think about it a lot and have a few unposted chapters written and I REALLY want to finish it)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I'm aware of

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't, although I have bounced ideas off people so it feels like they've written parts haha

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Do I need to answer this one? Berena of course

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

All of them haha. I don't have any works that I haven't posted anything at all, but I have a few unfininshed ones on AO3. Something Old Something New i know exactly where it would go and what happens but I know I just absolutely will not write it. Another Roll of the Dice has a few unposted chapters, and I might one day actually finish it for my own satisfaction even if noone reads it

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'd like to think that I can get characters voices in the dialogue. Also making the medical parts accurate :P

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I can be too wordy, and I can't write good poetic metaphors or similes. I'd like to be able to write those sorts of sentences that just punch people in the feels

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have done it briefly and sort of explained in the prose rather than directly translating. I am not fluent enough to be confident writing in another language and got a little help from friends to make sure it sounded colloquial and was grammatically correct. I wouldn't do large amounts of dialogue though

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Berena, I'd been reading a lot before that though

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This is so hard! I think Hey Soul Sister because it's a bit cringey but makes me laugh a lot to read it and I just love Dom stirring things

[the-firebird69]

Several more things are happening here in Port Charlotte and punta Gorda

-they're putting the APB and warrants out on these guys and lots of them and they're going to go after them and they're going after them real soon and they are trying to get John remillard out of the apartment and it's a serious effort and they want him out he's a huge a****** that guy is a damn detriment they say. He was getting weaker and he is going to be off of New Zealand pretty soon and they will be able to concentrate on other areas and he's going to be decimated right now they're going after him in the eastern hemisphere and they're at about 35% military areas of there's a God and that's all the warlock you're looking to bring it to 50% but they're going to concentrate on trumpsters usually draws them in and they get another quarter of their population wiped out and that's what they're going to do it's going on today another news the guys going to court in New York City and calling you man him in and they're going to request final arguments be presented owner by the 10th and complete by then that's what they're saying and they're sick of the stupid thing and they're going to protest it and they're going to say so what I do it or are you just going to not have a final argument and it's really about the bounce of money it's not really but this is what they're going to go ahead and say that they didn't over inflated or under inflated and they put it where they thought it should be and that's what they're going to say then they have to prove that they did it on purpose and that is what it is and no they were told that it was overvalued whatever it is they're going to court and find out and then it's the number and tickets $370 million or something and that number is like the second number our son said the population of America in the grocery store when working for O'Connor and they're looking for those people back what's it saying is that Trump and his got the way of us getting kidnapped and they were doing that quite a bit but that's what they're trained to do. And it's supposed to be this big show that we're entrained and it's not and they're in trouble and they don't know it apparently they probably won't get it until later. But it's significant that the number will be out there and it has other meaning and we do know what it means it means that they want to try and duck under and they're going to have a hard time doing it because they keep pressuring people to do stuff

It's a very significant meaning to us that they're blaming him for that and we don't believe it and he's probably to blame for being incompetent we didn't do it on purpose and we are also holding them in contempt for what they're ordering him to do more or less and for what he's doing and we are going to fry him up for it pretty soon he'll be dead episode 5 and 6 are today at 7:00 and 8:00 and tomorrow Wednesday and Thursday is episode 9 and the weekend The watchmen movie rolls and the iceberg is past Florida but it just passed it and stop in Georgia's area and it's going north as it goes north it's warming up here a little but it's going to take another week or more for it to get up there and that's time we needed so it's going to come to pass this weekend is the watchman movie and Trump is going to be gone and that's one way out of the apartment lol

Thor Freya we do have companies that we are going to purchase and have controlling share over to announce and other partial purchases in a moment

Olympus

[thewritersaddictions]

2023: Eddie Munson- Episode 7 History

Pairing: Eddie Munson x OC!Lilly Miller

Pov: Eddie Munson ; Lillys

Warnings: 2023, Past being brought up, lots of tension, lying, Jason Carver is still a dick, running away from the relationship, crying, leaving someone behind, crumbling relationship, ruining relationship.

Summary- Eddies dark and deep history is thrust upon someone telling Lilly all about 86’ 

A/n- firefly-graphics for dividers

WC- 4.9k

Stranger Things Master List // The Adults Master List // 2023 Series Master List

A whole month spent working and going over classes for my GED. An early friday morning at the end of October and even though I hate the sound of my seven in the morning alarm I still ended up shifti ng and making my way off of the couch. I’ve tired hard in the past month to completely and utterly ignore what happened at Steve and Robins, but some things are hard to ignore. I make me way towards the back of the trailer the bathroom empty and ready for someone to turn on the lights. Taking the morning slow. 

Getting ready for work is probably the easiest thing I done since getting here. School was hard and working my mind at night while all day I thought of Lilly and the cars that needed to be finish before the end of the day. Lilly was all I could think about, and what Steve and Robin had said when they stopped by to annoy me with their stupid comments on my growing relationship with Lilly. The longer I stay with Lilly the more I realize just how much I know I’m falling for her. I turn on the kitchen light. 

The sun isn’t even up, and as much as i hated waking up for school at six thirty in the morning. This is something I don’t mind doing everyday. I like waking up and brewing two cups of coffee for Lilly and I, making breakfast for the both of us. I make breakfast almost every single morning, Lilly days don’t start until later in the morning. She sleeps as I make myself a cup of coffee and sip it while I make breakfast. This morning is no different, pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast bring down a cup for her to use. 

Doubles of everything litters my own plpates as hers gets wrapped in some allium foil and get’s put into the microwave, and she knows the drill. Her coffee sits in the pot waiting to be used until the morning sun is a little higher in the sky. I move my plate and cup towards the kitchen table taking the little bit of time I have left to work on some much needed english. I sip at my coffee and read through the problems shoving my face full of maple syrup pancakes. Eggs and bacon splatter and fall to the table. 

I start to hear shuffling, but I know that she’s not up yet to early still for sleeping beauty to be up and smelling fresh coffee, so I take the few moments I have left to do something special. The longer I think about Lilly the more I realize just how much I’ve started to care about her, and that’s honestly hard for me to understand or even form into words that would makes sense. I put my empty plate into the sink and gather a pen and a few index cards. Chewing on the cap. How to express myself. 

The words aren’t clear in my head, so I shuffle through my papers on the kitchen table and bounce my knee. I think about how much I enjoy spending time with her. I think about how beautiful she is, how whenever I see her my heart does summersaults in my chest. I chew at my lip and then something comes to mind. The reason why I enjoy her company, the reason why her beautiful makes me wanna run and hide is because I’m in love with her. I love her and it’s funny how you realize the simplest of things. 

I grab the pen and a pink index card. The first time I write the pen is shitty and the ink isn’t fully there on the card. I grubble and crumble the card before throwing it towards the trash can. I use a piece of scratch paper and make sure for the second time that the pen is in working order, this time it is. I use a different index card this time it’s a vibrant blue color. “It’s been forever that it feels I’ve known you. I felt that it’s now or never, so I say I love you.” 

My handwriting it sub par at best. Letters going from cursive to normal letters. The words are choppy in some places due to my own hand, or the pen I’m not sure I can tell. I stare at the blue index card, thinking for only a few seconds. I could be late just one day, the old man wouldn’t get to mad. I think about where I should put her note, and her laptop sits infront of me. I slip it into the middle between the screen and keyboard. I grab my cup and go for another cup of coffee. 

Before I go knock on Lilly’s door, I grab a coffee cup and fill it to the brim with sugar and coffee creamer and grab Lilly’s plate from the microwave. “Now or never.” I mutter the words to myself as I walk towards her closed door. I knock once and a second time, the third time Lilly is mumbling nonsense through the door. But one phrase is clear. “Come in.” I smile at her soft morning voice. “I brought coffee and mostly fresh breakfast for ya.” I stand in the doorway. I haven’t looked at anything other then the plate. 

“Eds, come in I said.” I hear the bed shift, and when I look up. The smile the makes my cheeks hurt grows quickly. Her room is so different then the rest of the trailer, it’s so different then how I remember it looking when I was mine so long ago. Star string lights are pinned from each window and all over the ceiling, posters litter the wall of her favorite bands, clothes are scattered across the floor and that feels normal. The walls are colofrul and popping off the walls, greens, blue, and pinks. It’s Lilly to a T. 

The smell of weed, and like vanilla perfume mixes in the air. It makes me feel like I’m floating on cloud nine. I look around towards her furniture. Candles sit on the edge of almost single one of them, and the wax dribbles down the sides and puddles are on the shag carpet. “Sorry for the mess Eds, come sit.” She says patting the empty side of her full size bed. ‘I can smell the bacon on your clothes.” I laugh as I sit down next to her. “Your room is so you sweetheart.” She blushes and takes the plate. 

I watch as she eats which would be creepy, but she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. Her hair is tied up in a messy, and loose bun, her eyes are wide but tired. As she eats she snuggles up to my side. The smell of food whafts back into my sense and the smell of coffee brings me back to being alert. I can feel the fast pace of my heart as she snuggles deeper into my side. I notice her phone, “Shit I’m really late now!” I move quickly kissing her forehead. “I’ll see you later sweetheart.” 

I manage to grab the keys to Lilly’s sedan and make my way towards work. The whole way towards the Auto body shop all I can think about is how pretty Lilly looked this morning, how she snuggled up close to me, how I finally grew a pair and walked into her room. The sudden realization that I had kissed her forehead ‘while not being drunk’ and ‘called her sweetheart’ hits me strong that I end up break checking the whole couple behind me. I had not meant to do it like we were together, like we were a couple. 

–

The coffee has cooled down and the plate that sits on my lap is now empty. I have to get up from bed sooner rather then later and get ready for work. Without Eddie in the house the entire vibe changes. The house goes from bright, and loud to dull, and quite. He brings something so nice and peaceful to the little abode that I have. It was always so very nice for him to make breakfast and wake me with food in bed. I wonder if Eddie knows just how much I love and enjoy his every day company. 

I gather my plate and cool down coffee and bring it out to the kitchen, placing my cup in the microwave and heating that up while I went back into my bedroom and got dressed for the day. My bladder screamed at me while I was halfway through picking an outfit, so I went to the bathroom and then I got distracted by the dirty counter so I clean that. Then I made my way back to my bedroom and got dressed for the day. Winter weather was outside not inside, so I grabbed jeans and a yellow flower top. 

The beeping of the microwave caused me to leave my bedroom with my socks in hand. Coffee hot and steaming in hand I moved my thoughts and body to the kitchen table. Eddies side was cleaned off and his paper were stacked in the right order. He was doing well, really well at his GED, and it was like he didn’t have to worry about grades nowadays. I look at the stove clock and it’s nearly eight in the morning, so I flip open my laptop. Distracted is my middle name, so the vibrant blue index card is just enough. 

Shitty handwriting that starts in cursive and somehow ends up in the normal letters shape. On one side it’s simply my name. “Lilly” The other side written words are different. “It’s been forever that it feels I’ve known you. I felt that it’s now or never, so I say I love you.” I hold the index card in my hand, and my mind floats back to this morning. Eddie bringing me breakfast in bed, me snuggling close to his warm body, and then how he kissed my forehead softly, and rushed out calling me sweetheart. My heart burns for him. 

I wonder even as my alarm on my phone rings out and reminds me to get to work. I wonder about weather or not Eddie remembers how much of a fool I had acted at his friends house. How I had settled in his lap, and how I had kissed him, how I had whispered dirty things into his ear. I wondered if he remember it like how I remembered it, or if he had just stuffed it deep down out of his thoughts for forever. I let the alarm ring off a few more time as I dreamed away. 

Finally the alarm brought me out of my dream, and naughty thoughts. I got up and turned it off, walking back to the the kitchen table and getting to work. My laptop screen had gone dark from not being intracted with. I logged into work, and got into the first meeting of the morning. But for the entire meeting all I could think was what Eddie was doing, what was he thinking about me. Was he think about me? I really hoped he was, because I was thinking about him. I got up during my lunch break and texted him. 

“I got your note” I typed out, but shook my head and deleted the words. “Thank you for breakfast in bed and the blue index card Eddie.” I texted him, not fearing so much about what Eddie would think. A few minutes the phone read that he had seen it and then three bubbles showed up, I got a text back. “I’m glad I could make your morning start off great, I hope you know that I wasn’t lying in that blue index card.” I smiled down at my phone, my stomach growled with hunger pains. “Do you want lunch?” 

A few emojis came next through the text chain. “LUNCH WOULD BE GREAT!” In all caps letters, I laughed even hard. I got up my lunch break was longer then I remember my high school allowing for a bunch growing teens. The kitchen was a mess by the time I packed both bags. A simple sandwich, a can of coke, along with a bag of chips. I heard the sound of a car against the gravel. Eddie in the drivers seat. I smiled and notched my head to the side. “Came to have lunch with my favorite girl.” I nodded. 

I retreat back into the trailer and wait until I hear the strom door open and close. I pull everything out of the paper bags, and set them up in our usual spots. “I’ve got like thirty minutes for lunch.” Eddie mumbles as he sits down at the kitchen table across from me. The sandwich, chips, and coke sit out on the table waititing. Eddie kicks off his boots shoving them by the door. Eddie sits and lunges for his food. Shoving at least a few bites into his mouth before opening the can of soda, and the plain chips. 

“I’m working on this beautiful ‘65 mustang. Blue and so bright. It just needs a new brake line, and some new headlights.” Eddie rambles on with food falling from his mouth. I munch along on my peanut butter sandwich. I listen to him ramble on for what seems like hours, but in reality it’s just until the sandwich is gone in his hand. “So, did you like your breakfast?” He asks, bitting hit lower lip. I smile as I set down the sandwich, “I enjoyed it very much Eds, but I liked your note a whole lot more.” He blushes. 

As quick as Eddie is pulling to the drive way and sitting down to eat lunch, Eddie is pulling on his work boots, and driving away all over again. He waves goodbye as I wave back at him. With it being already late afternoon I know that I have to get back to work sooner rather then later. I settled back into the uncomfortable seat in front of my laptop screen. I do about two or three more zoom meetings and a work load that’s far to big for just one person. But the knock at my door distracts me. 

Nobody normally knocks on my door unless I’ve order something from the great amazon, or if I have to sign for a parcel. But I was pretty sure that I didn’t have anything coming to the house, so I’m more then hesitant to open the door. Work is over now, so I’m not in the mood for a door to door sales man. I open the front door, the storm door locked and the only thing protecting me. An older gentleman stands on my porch. “Hello Sir?” I ask, Maybe the old man was lost in this large trailer park. 

“Heya Ma’am, you don’t know who I am, but I think you should know more about your roommate.” I can feel my face contort into utter and complete confusion. “What are you talking about sir? I think you might have the wrong house.” I mumble out. My grasps on the door handle only grows tighter. Was this old man watching Eddie and I, watching my home. Fear bubbles in my chest, the old man chuckles. “I know what I’m talking about, that mister Eddie Munson.” I start to feel more fear and panic seeping into my bones. He smiles creepily. 

Wouldn’t I love to learn more about Eddie… Sure, but not like this right? I look down at my watch, three thirty it reads, Eddie doesn’t get back for several more hours. I’m stuck here, or I can call the police but I have a feeling this old man doesn’t mean any danger. “I have a story, the truth to tell you. By the way the names Jason Carver. It’s nice to meet ya.” I’m even more hesitant. The screen door is the only space between us. The older women across the road come out, “Oh dearie you have visitors.” 

Mrs.Knoll has always been so sweet, so I nod through the storm door, “Oh Mr. carver what are you doing in this neightboorhood?” She yells out even if her voice is a gone with old age. “I’m here to talk with this young lady.” Mrs. Knoll nods, then starts to mumble to herself. “I used to give her the daily paper when we were both much younger. I’m still hesitant but to have my neightboor know who this older gentleman is was very comforting. I unlock the storm door, “Why don’t you come in from that cold Mr. Carver.” 

He stands in front of the door while I step back to back space for him. He’s all but hesitant to walk in. Taking in the space like he owns it. He’s a tall man, and looks like he might have played sports in his younger age. He’s still spry. “You can take off your shoes, would you like a glass of water?” I ask moving far from him and into the kitchen. “That would be lovely.” I bit at my lips and grab a glass filling it from the sink. When I come back he’s sitting in Eddies chair. 

I take the glass of water to the living room, he follows me with his eyes, and then finally gets up from Eddies spot at the kitchen table. He’s so much taller especially now that I’m sitting down on the lounge chair in the living room. He clears his throat and then takes a sip of the water. “So what do you wanna know about your roommate Mister Eddie Munson?” Mr. Carver asks, as if I was the one that walked up to his front door claiming to have information about someone important to him. “A few things will do.” 

He laughs, I try to hide the uncomfortable feeling that is growing in the pite of my stomach. “Just a few things.” Mr. Carver chuckles, “How about I tell you a little bit more then just a few things.” We stare at each other for a few moments, a few seconds. “You know you look a lot like my girlfriend from high school.” Mr. Carver mumbles, “Do I sir?” I ask, wondering why that’s something he’d bring up. “You do, but she was um… she passed away a long time ago now.” Mr. Carver, “Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.” 

The conversation lulles to only the breathing between the two of us. Then he asks me an odd question. “Do you really want to know the whole story?” More confusion coarse through my veins, “Yes.” I answer hesitantly. “Eddie Munson is a horrible man.” Well that’s a great fucking start I think to myself. “How… How dare you walk into my house and say that about someone.” Mr. Carver chuckles, and takes a short sip of the water. “You must think of me as a horribly rude person, but I promise you it’s not me you have to worry about.” 

My blood is boiling but then Carver starts talking. “Eddie and I went to high school here in town together. At that point in my life I was just trying to get along with everyone, but your sweet Eddie Munson made my life a living hell. He’d activly start fights with me, and cause so much more drama then was ever needed.” “Personally I find that hard to believe.” I hold my ground, anger passes through the older mans expressions. “He was at that point a leader of a cult of some sort had all the young freshman apart of it.” 

I stare at the older man in awe. “You’ve got to fucking kiding right?” I ask not caring about my language, Mr. Carver stares at me with his mouth wide open, like I had plunged a knife into his heart. I’m starting to get the feeling that Mr. Carver was a bully in his time at Hawkins high. “It was said that he was not only apart of a clut that he ran, but he was also a stantist.” He says it like i’m supposed to be scared or shocked. I cross my legs, “I don’t think so Carver.” 

He grumbles, “Okay, Musnon sold weed and drugs to kids at Hawkins High.” Carver says as if he had won a fight with the last punch straight to the face of his opponent. “Mr. Carver I think you don’t realize that I also smoke weed.” I whisper the last part, “I don’t give a shit what Eddie did before I met him, and anyways I met his wonderful uncle. And I highly doubt an old high school bully knew anything about him.” I said with a calm tone smiling. He sighs, “I wish I didn’t have to tell you this.” 

“What are you taling about now? Huh did he take your girlfriend from you cause she didn’t wanna deal with such a fucking dick.” I huff out, “Well I wouldn’t say I was a dick, and anyways Chrissy and I were a perfect match. The jock and his cheerleader.” I roll my eyes at Mr. Carver words. “But you aren’t wrong, Eddie did in fact take my girlfriend from me, took her after the championship game at our high school brought her back here to sell her drugs and then murdred her right here. She was handing from the ceiling.” 

My hands being to shake, looking for the lies in Mr. Carvers old face. “Wh…What are you talking about?” I manage to ramble out. I rest my hands on my jean covered knees. The sweat pouring out of my palms. “So he really hasn’t told you anything?” He asks with a low chuckle behind his words. “He brought my sweet girlfriend to this very trailer, broke her bones and strung her up like a piece of artwork for his uncle to find the next morning. Then after that he went on a killing spree. Killing kids and my good friend.” 

We sit there for a silent moment. “You mean to tell me that Eddie Munson who wouldn’t dare hurt a fly killed your girlfriend and two others” Mr. Carver nods, all of this was hard to believe. It was a crazy thought, but then I remember the damn gapping whole in my ceiling just a few months ago. That was crazy at the time. “This is the truth?” He nods, and then Mr. Carver got up, but not before taking the last sip of his water. “You just be careful around him miss. You don’t know what he’s capable of.” 

I have a hard time believe the first two things that Mr. Carver rambled off about. Eddie had been truthful about his drugs, and how much he really did enjoy smoking weed. You had to dumb to not know that most people were smoking in the eighties and ninties. Then you ahve the cult laeder bullshit that Mr. carver was talking about. Being a cult leader took a hell of a lot of people, but it sounded more like D&D. Eddie had talked about getting back into it recently. I had even done a paper on the whole thing. 

Written it pretty well cause I got an A on it in one of my college courses. The public at that point was fearing everything, war with Russia and the war on drugs had only been over for a few years. The public needed something to latch on to, so the fear of their childrens mental health it wasnt, rather the dangeroius games they were playing. Newsweekly took it has far as calling it “D and D; The Devil’s Game.” I didn’t care about that, rather that Eddie and Wayne never said a goddamn word about the murders that happend. 

– 

The drive back to the trailer park goes by quickly, not the second half of work had not after having lunch with my girl Lilly. She had texted earlier that day and asked about lunch then I remember that I had her car, so I drove the 15 minutes back to the trailer park just to have lunch with her. She was a smiling mess when she went to walk about the door and saw me. When I had to return back to the work I was horribly upset, but then yet another beautiful car came rolling into the garabe.

After a few hours another car came rolling up for a simple oil change was simple enough. The driver was an older women and she tried her hardest to flirt with me but I had no want or need to flirt with her especially when I had such a beaiutfil girl waiting for me at the trailer. All I had to do with get back to the trialer and finally tell her just how pretty and just how much she was always on my thoughts. Though the older women had tipped me well for the simple work I had done. 

So I drove home with excitement soaking through my bones, and not being able to hold myself together any longer to see Lilly and her beautiful smile. It’s late when I hit the gravel road that leads into the trailer park, The lights are all off in the trailer and worry hits me, Lilly had looked fine ealier that afternoon. I shut the car off grabbing the keys, and unlocking the storm door and house door. When I got into the trailer Lilly wasn’t in the living room, or in the kitchen cooking something. It was dead silent around me. 

The only thing I can barely hear is the sound of her music playing in her bedroom, I walk slow and light on my feet after disposing of my work boots. I knock on her bedroom door even though its ajar, nothing comes out. So I ask into the darkness. “Lilly, are you alright?” Still nothing, so I wonder if she’s asleep. Then I hear her groan, so I nudge the door open just enough to get a glismpe of her curled up in the middle of her bed. Sher must feel me staring at her. “I am fine Eddie.” 

She sounds anger, and short with me. But I’m not sure as happened in just the few hours from when I saw her last to now. My heart sinks, further and further the more silence radiates off of Lilly. I think a few things that she might need, but won’t dare to ask someone to get for her. “Can I get you something, sweetheart?” I ask into the cold air. She turns quickly flipping of the soft covers, “WHY?” She yells, “So you can kill me like you did Chrissy Fucking Cunningham?” I stand there shocked, and the fear bubbles. 

“Yeah I can do fucking research, it’s not that fucking hard. All you have to do is search up cult leader murder Hawkins Indiana.” My hands behing to shake the louder Lilly gets, she pushes me from her bedroom doorway all the way into the living room. The firs thing that comes from mouth is “How’d you learn about Chrissy?” I ask, sineraly ask her. She rolls her eyes dramatically, “I had a surprise fucking guest come in talking about all the horrible things you did and you were in high school.” I shrug, “Jason Carver!” She shouts at me. 

I shake my head, “Jason Fucking Carver, you’ve got to be kiding me right? He was my high school bully for christ sake.” “Yeah that’s what I thought, but then you take his girlfriend and BRING her here and murder her, and lets not get started on the two others that you murdered. What’s wrong with you?” My heart is skipping beats and not in the good way. Hands still shake, Lilly turns to turn on a light. She looks as if she’s been crying for hours, tired and worn out. “Why would you believe him?” I ask, yet another roll of her eyes, “Because you haven’t told me shit Eddie, nothing you won’t tell me why you fucking fell through my ceiling, or what happened before that! So why not believe not him.” Lilly shouts her eyes wide looking straight into my soul. My hands brush through my sweaty tangles, and I stare at her for a only a few moments, before I bit my lip and look towards the ceiling. “You… Of course you remember you just don’t wanna talk about it! Why?” She yells more, I grind my teeth as I try to push back the tears. 

“You need to leave.” After a moment of silence that’s all Lilly says to me. “I need a few days to think, or whatever,” Lilly mutters mostly to herself as she walks back to her room slamming the door. So now here I stand in the half-lite room my chest burning and my voice sore. I can Dustin first but no response, so I text Steve, ‘Code Red’ and then call him, he answers immediately. “Eddie?” “I need you to come pick me up from the trailer park. Lilly is…’ I stare at the door waiting, yearning that she comes back out, but nothing. ‘Eddie, what’s happened?” “I’ll explain when you come and pick me up I need to stay with you for a few days.” I end the call and grab the few things I have dropping Lilly's keys and slamming the front door and storm door, waiting for Steve to come and pick me up at nearly eleven at night. 

Completed on: 05/25/2023

Posted on: 06/03/2023

The Adults- @yourfavdummy @mothermirkwood

[osc-aus]

hello bonjour it is I: 📗 anon (from osc confessions) with a probably shitty au because I don't know what I'm doing ever and because I suck at writing but I desperately need to tell someone about it because it keeps bouncing around in my head

annnnhhhhhywy here

so this is a ppt2 au

I'm bad at setting a certain timeframe for aus but for now it happens before 12 after whatever episode journal gets mad at treasure chest I think it was 9???)

so basically for a reason I haven't figured out yet journal is slowly(like very very slowly) turning into one of the blue nightmares

it takes him a bit to realize that this is happening but he eventually realizes also for a reason I don't know yet (possibly like he realizes that his fingertips are a little blue or like that he's having weird thoughts or something??? now that I'm putting this into words for the first time this doesn't make sense at all :((( )

and so now he's more stressed out because on top of him trying to research mr hand he's desperately trying to make sure no one finds out so they don't like kill him or something

which is fine because he is mostly only in the lab 24/7 but also he has the problem of trying to keep this from post it notes (who is realizing something is off so that didn't really work anyway) because he's always around post it notes

also this is kind of painful I'm not entirely sure how it's gonna work completely other than like: it's painful and it fucks up your brain (basically losing control over like his thoughts and his actions)

anyways I shall be done with my cringefail au now maybe I'll talk about it more later probably because I have some scenes in it thought of

-📗 anon

unironically love this, corruption aus are SO COOL!!

[helliontherapscallion]

Recovery? (Adrenaline Junkie Part 5)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: PTSD, sleep paralysis, hallucinations, swearing, mentions of death/injury, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation (marked so you can skip if it’s a major trigger for you), self harm (also marked), phantom pain syndrome

Word count: 3,722

Disclaimer: I have not experienced PTSD, sleep paralysis, hallucinations, or phantom pain syndrome, so I’m sorry if they aren’t portrayed correctly 

When a wild bird can’t fly, it’s defenseless. It feels trapped even if it can still walk away. It feels alone even if it’s surrounded by other birds. If a bird loses the ability to fly, a piece of it is missing. A piece of itself. Something that it values as something unique to it and only it. It loses most mental stimulation and becomes numb until it can feel freedom again.

It’s been about two months since you respawned and you honestly felt so restless. You wanted to fly through the sky again, feeling the air move freely between your feathers. You wanted to weave in and out of the clouds. You wanted to feel something other than fear. When you’re not scared, you don't feel anything. You missed skydiving. You wanted, no, you craved the feeling of adrenaline flowing along every little nook and cranny in your cardiovascular system.

You found out that you get flashbacks whenever you see someone or something hulky and covered in a dark green color. You still haven’t told your family about this, you thought that it was something silly to be afraid of. You tried your hardest to avoid Philza the most; he always wore his favorite color with pride. You still haven’t apologized for screaming death threats at him when you were going through an episode.

You only had one other major hallucinogenic episode since the first one, but it wasn’t as bad as the first one.

You woke up in the middle of the night with the moonlight beaming through your window illuminating the silhouette of The Warden standing in the corner of your room. You willed yourself to open your mouth to scream for your brothers, but you couldn’t move. You could only watch it. 

The telltale glowing drool fell from the corners of its wide mouth, mixing with the blood dripping off from its long claws. Its chest rhythmically glowed as the things writhing in it managed to squeeze through the small gaps between the bony confines of its ribs. The white wisps flew around your room freely, bouncing off your walls with thuds and eventually settling to float in front of your face.

You watched with wide eyes as their permanently gaping mouths struggled to form words. Somehow, you could see desperation in their empty eye sockets. A flurry of whispers met your ears, but you couldn’t make out anything they were saying. It was too jumbled. 

You heard The Warden slowly drag its feet along your carpet over to your bed. The wisps started to thrash about and scream as it reached out and scooped them all up easily with a single swipe of a hand. It shoved them into its mouth and they reappeared behind the confines of its ribcage, the screaming getting louder and more distorted as they got swallowed. Multiple voices were shrieking with agony and anguish as The Warden turned its attention towards you. It bent over and hovered its face over yours as its drool and drops of blood started to drip onto your cheeks. You felt its rancid breath fan over you. It had hints of iron and rot.

Your mind was screaming at your body to move away, but you couldn’t. You didn’t have control anymore. Your breathing picked up as you felt your heart beat out of your chest. It just hovered over you doing nothing, like it was enjoying seeing your fearful eyes. Like it enjoyed the feeling of having complete power over you.

Your breath caught in your throat as it got closer to you, its mouth getting dangerously close to engulfing your entire head. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried with all your might to move any part of your body. After a while, your head slightly moved to the side. Gradually, you worked your way up to moving your head fully to the side. You felt all your muscles activate at once as you shot up from your bed with a strangled gasp. 

You frantically flattened your body against the wall, reaching a shaking hand between the wall and mattress to grab the iron dagger you hid there. Holding it defensively in front of you, you scanned the room. There was not a single thing out of place. Everything was just as you left it before you went to bed.

You covered your mouth as sobs threatened to burst from your chest like the wisps in The Warden’s. You brought your knees up to your chest and buried your head in them. You didn’t sleep for a few days after that.

Other than the major episodes, your imagination placed The Warden everywhere you looked. You saw The Warden whenever Philza walked past you. You saw glimpses of it whenever you looked into the woods at night. You saw it behind you in the mirror reaching for your other wing. Sometimes, you thought you could hear the screams of the wisps in the distance.

Your entire family was constantly hovering over you; you always had at least one of the boys with you at all times. They wouldn’t let you out of the house. 

Out of all of your family, Wilbur was probably the lesser of the evils. He didn’t judge you or question you, he just let you do your own thing. He would softly pluck the strings on his guitar and sing to you while you would lay on his bed. Those moments were one of the only moments where you would fully let your guard down and relax. 

Hangouts with Techno were also pleasant, but he hasn’t looked you in the eyes since he helped you during your first episode. That was the only downside to it though; he would give you some of his mythology books to read or read them to you. His voice always soothed you as a kid. Sometimes, he would give you a hug when he saw that it was a rough day for you.

Tommy’s hang outs were kept to a minimal, the family didn’t trust him much because they thought his rambunctious and extrovert personality would overwhelm you. You were alone with him only twice out of the last two months. Usually, you both would lay on his bed and just talk about his life with the jukebox running softly in the background playing the discs that you and Philza gifted him during his first birthday with the family. He tried to get you to open up to him, but you always deflected. He shouldn’t know how fucked up you were, you vowed to protect him when Philza first brought him home. You would always protect your little brother, even if it was from yourself.

Before the incident, you would’ve killed to get more alone time with your father. But now, you tried to avoid Philza at all costs. You couldn’t help but see The Warden whenever you saw his tall form, green clothes, and large wings. When you had to hang out with him however, you wouldn’t look at him. You two would usually go to chop down trees or cook dinner together. 

You felt incredibly guilty that you still haven’t apologized to him for everything you’ve put him through. Whenever you brought yourself to glance at him, he was always looking at you heartbroken. You knew that the outcomes of your first death gave the entire family some form of trauma, but you saw that it hit your dad harder than the others. You did threaten to kill him in graphic ways and you did hit him in your panicked stupor. You really needed to apologize for that. You probably should tell him about your silly little fear of green. You were going to wait until he was in his pajamas to apologize; they usually didn’t have much green.

You loved your family of course, but you were always the type of person to require some alone time to function, even before the incident. You felt incredibly drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. It took you a tremendous amount of effort to get out of bed in the mornings. You didn’t see any meaning in life anymore. Everything was gray and the only thing you actually felt was fear, so you didn’t see any point in getting up. The only reason you left your bed was because your brothers would coax you out. Everyday was monotonous. 

*************************SUICIDAL IDEATION/SELF HARM*****************************

Your mind was always coming up with intrusive thoughts about killing yourself. When you did the dishes, you always imagined yourself gliding blades vertically along your wrists and just letting the blood pool out and mix with the dishwater. When you cooked breakfast, you would imagine placing your hand inside the burning flame of the stove. When you were staring out of the window at night looking for The Warden, you would imagine yourself disappearing into the woods to look for a creeper to blow you up. When you passed the potion chest, you imagined chugging poison so you could feel something before you died. Whenever you used an ore during crafting, you always thought about going back to the cave so you could be put out of your misery again. It did a damn good job at killing you the first time. Who knows, maybe The Warden would be merciful this time. The most common thought was finding a tall cliff or mountain and jumping off to finally feel the wind between your feathers and the adrenaline running through you for the last time. You daydreamed about that last one a lot.

The little scrapes you got on the little tasks given to you by your family gave you a smidge of pain. A smidge of feeling other than numbness or suffocating fear. So, in a desparate attempt to feel something, you started to cut yourself You have a dagger hidden in your room that your family didn’t know about and you constantly wore a long sleeved cloak to hide your wing so you could easily hide the cuts. It would give you some light in the dark abyss that was your current mental state. 

Sometimes, you would make small cuts on your wrists and thighs when everything was too overwhelming, but the relief it gave you wouldn’t last throughout the day. You were scared to cut deeper. You didn’t want to deal with infection or smuggling healing potions underneath your family’s noses. You would probably get caught and they’d take away the very little freedom and control you had in your life.

**********************SUICIDAL IDEATION/SELF HARM OVER*************************

You grunted in discomfort as you chopped some wood with Philza behind your house. It was a bad day for the phantom pains in your absent wing, you felt shooting pain and itchiness along where it was supposed to be all day long. You heard him pause his actions and walk over to you. When he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, you squeezed your eyes shut as you remembered the way he grabbed you the day you respawned.

“Are you alright hun?”

Shrugging off his hand, you continued to chop lumber. “I’m fine Dad.”

“Are you sure? You looked like you were in pain.”

You sighed, “It’s… it’s just a bad day for the pain.”

“Where does it hurt? I can go grab you a potion.” 

He sounded like he always did when he talked to you, concerned. You wanted to be treated like a normal person again. You didn’t like it when your family walked on eggshells around you constantly, it made you feel like a stranger in your own home.

“My right wing hurts. And potions don’t help, I’ve tried that. There’s nothing you can do.”

He paused for a second. You imagined him furrowing his brows and tilting his head lightly to the side as he contemplated what you said. It was the first time you opened up to him about anything. “...Your wing still feels things?”

You grunted as you swung the axe down onto the log, “Yeah, it feels things sometimes. It’s mostly a shooting pain or an itching sensation where I don’t have a wing. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I’m learning to live with it.”

“How long has this been happening?”

Your mind flashed back to the conversation you two had a year ago. “Since I lost it.”

“Why don’t we turn in for the night? The sun is starting to set and we’ve got enough wood to last us a week.”

You silently nodded and bent over to pick up the logs you chopped. Grabbing as much as your arms could hold, you put the planks into the chest next to the back door. Turning around to grab more, you jumped back when your eyes met with Philza’s chest. His hand was outstretched towards you. You hugged your body as you looked away from him. 

“(Y/n), you’re not okay. Please just let me help you.”

“...I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine.”

“You haven’t spoken to anyone about your emotions, bottling it up isn’t good hun.”

“That’s because I don’t have anything to talk about.”

He sighed, “Why don’t we get your brothers to cook dinner so we can have a little chat. Meet me in your room.”

Wordlessly, you walked back into the house and straight up to your room. Sitting on the bed, you put your head in your hands as you waited for the inevitable vulnerability. After a couple of minutes, you heard a gentle knock on your door. It opened to reveal your dad smiling at you.

Glancing back at your hands, you slipped your hand under the sleeve of your cloak to pinch the skin so you could try to ignore him when he walked over to sit next to you. You turned your head away from him. 

You felt the mattress shift under his weight when he sat next to you. You felt his breath tickle the top of your head as he spoke to you, “please, talk to me.”

“I’ve already told you, there’s nothing to talk about Dad.”

“...You’ve been seeing The Warden whenever you look at me, haven’t you?” He sounded so broken. It must be hard to have your own child avoid you because you reminded them of their murderer. 

You were quiet for a few moments while you battled against the tears that threatened to leak from your eyes. Swallowing thickly, you shakily said, “I’m sorry Dad, I’m so sorry. I-I see it when I see you. I see it everywhere.”

“Hey,” he gently said, “it’s alright. Nothing’s your fault, you can’t control it. Is there anything… specific that reminds you of it?”

“...Yeah, I see it vividly when I see something tall and… and dark green. I can’t help but to see it when I see you.”

He felt his heart sink. He always wore green, no matter the day. He was basically torturing his child just by being around them. God, what kind of father was he if he didn’t realize that sooner? He felt like a failure. 

You spewed reassurances at him when you heard his breath hitch. “Dad, it’s not your fault, you didn’t know about it. It’s just a stupid fear and it’s my fault for not getting over it. I-I’ll do better. I can-”

“Stop. Nothing is your fault and it’s certainly not stupid. You’re traumatized, (y/n), you’re traumatized and it’s nobody’s fault except The Warden’s,” it sounded like he was trying to convince himself. “Would you feel more comfortable if I changed clothes?”

“You- you don’t have to. I don’t want you to change anything because of me.”

“(Y/n), I’m your father. I’ll do anything if it means you feel better, I want to help you get better. Changing what I wear isn’t a big deal. I’ll be right back.”

“You really don’t have to, Dad.”

“Nonsense, I’m going to go change. It’s really not a big deal.”

He stood up and speed walked out your door. You felt awful, he was changing because of you. Because you were scared of a fucking color. You needed to get a grip. You were weak. 

The door opened again to reveal Philza dressed in an old white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. His wardrobe was very limited when it came to colors other than green; it was strange seeing him in anything but green. You felt a little more at ease around him, but you still couldn’t look him in the eye. You still felt guilty.

Sitting next to you again, he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “It’s been a while since I’ve worn these, I uh forgot how comfy they are.”

You two sat in an awkward silence. It was obvious that he was lying to you about liking them. He was shifting his wings around uncomfortably and shifting on the mattress. With wings, it was hard to find fabric that didn’t irritate the base of the wing. The base of the wings were more sensitive than any other body part.

“You’re lying.”

“Lying? About what hun?”

“About being comfortable. They’re irritating your wings aren’t they? This is why you shouldn’t change anything about yourself for me, I just screw things up for everyone.”

“No you don’t-”

“Yes I do, Dad. Let’s be honest here, I’m a complete fuck up. I mess up everything I’m near. I messed up the family. Everything’s different because of me.”

He moved to kneel in front of you, placing both his hands firmly on your shoulders.

“Look at me, (y/n).”

When you didn’t make any move to look up from your tightly clasped hands, he gingerly moved your chin up and put his hand back on your shoulder. His face was stern and his blue eyes were blazing. Oh god, you really fucked up didn’t you? You knew you shouldn’t have told him anything.

“You are not a fuck up. Do you hear me? You. Are. Not. A. Fuck up.”

“But-”

“Ah,” he sharply chided, “I’m not done. You aren’t a fuck up. You couldn’t control what happened to you. You didn’t know that you’d die when you went into that cave. You didn’t know that you’d lose a limb. You didn’t mess up the family, you could never, ever, do that… (Y/n), change was bound to happen sooner or later. Everything changes, that’s just how life works. Even if we didn’t want change, it’s inevitable.”

He could tell from your bloodshot eyes and wobbling chin that you were about to cry, it was always your tell as a child. In that instance, he saw you as the kid that came running to him after you scraped your knee. An innocent kid that always saw the good in the world. He pulled you into his chest and gently wrapped his wings around you, humming the song he would sing to you when you had a nightmare as a child.

“It’s alright, hun, let it out.”

You finally broke, throwing your arms around him and sobbing into his chest. Your body shook with muffled sobs as you released all the pent up emotion you’ve been deprived of in the last two months. It felt nice to talk to your dad again, to be close to him again. For the first time in two months, you felt completely safe. Your dad will always protect you. 

“It’s been so hard Dad,” you blubbered out. “I don’t know what to do. I’m broken, Dad. I can’t be fixed. I feel so empty.”

“Hun, no. You can be fixed, it just takes time. We’re here for you. Me, Technoblade, Wilbur, and Tommy. We’re always going to be here for you no matter what. We’ll help you.”

You fell silent as your body convulsed with silent sobs. You two sat there for what seemed like hours before you finally ran out of tears. You pulled back from him and wiped at your snotty nose.

“I never apologized for what I said to you two months ago. I-I shouldn’t have said any of those things. It hurt you in ways that I’ll probably never understand, and… I’m sorry Dad.”

“(Y/n), you don’t have to apologize. You were scared and you were trying to protect your brothers. That was really brave of you to do, I’m proud of you.”

You threw yourself at him again in a tight, one-winged hug. He chuckled as he hugged you back.

“…Thank you Dad, for everything.”

“Anything for you,” he glanced at the clock you made on your wall. “It’s almost dinner time, let’s go see if your brothers burnt down the kitchen.”

You genuinely smiled at that, remembering the last time your brother cooked together. It was a couple of years ago when you and Philza were coming back from visiting a nearby village. Philza thought it was a spectacular idea to give your brothers the task of cooking dinner. That day, you two came home to a fire engulfing the entire stove and your brothers arguing about whose fault it was. Since then, they weren’t allowed to cook together.

“That’s a good idea, remember the last time they cooked together?”

He chuckled. “Don’t remind me, I nearly pulled out all my feathers cuz of the stress it gave me. I think it even gave me a few gray hairs.”

You snorted. “Well, they’re quiet. Too quiet. We need to go down there before they burn down the house.”

He kissed your hair before you stood up and started to walk to the kitchen. He followed suit, throwing an arm over your shoulders and pulling you into his side. Surprisingly, they didn’t burn down the kitchen. Instead, they actually cooked dinner well. Some of it was burnt, but to their credit, they hadn’t cooked together in a while.

At the dinner table, you felt like you were part of the family again. You laughed with your brothers when Philza scolded them for something they said. You felt like there was a giant weight lifted off from your shoulders. Of course, you were still traumatized and had other issues you had to work out, but now you knew you had your family to help you through it. You wouldn’t ask for anything different.

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[tsrookie]

Always In My Heart

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Alyssa Brooks)

A/N: On today’s episode of ‘I have no idea wtf I’m doing’, we have something that I cooked up because I had terrible WiFi and no other app but Google docs would open up.

Trope: Fluff, but a tiny bit of angst?

Rating: General

Word Count: 2.3K

Warning(s): Mentions of character death

Summary: Their son has a very important question to ask.

——————————

The delicious aroma of chicken and rice wafted through the Brooks-Ramsey household. The couple worked side by side in the kitchen as they had all those years ago, the only difference being that it was now a dinner for five and not just two.

Allison Dolores Brooks-Ramsey came into their lives nine years ago, and while it was earlier than they would have wanted, they didn’t regret a second of their lives ever since they first heard her voice.

The twins on the other hand, were planned, but nothing had prepared them for the chaos that Nathan and Natalie would bring. A new broken object every week, a dozen fights for the TV every day, and yet were nothing short of tiny tornadoes when they joined forces.

It couldn’t be more perfect.

“What time did Jackie and Emilia say that they would bring the girls back?”

“6:30, I think.”

“Ah. So we have time till 7:00.” They shared a knowing smile. Two aunts taking their nine and six year old nieces to the mall meant a complete raid of the toy store, and a new guitar.

“You need to stop letting everyone spoil the girls just because you have a soft spot for them, Ethan. Ally’s grown old enough to understand that she has her daddy wrapped around her finger, and we don’t need Nat coming to that realisation as well.”

“I don’t- I can’t believe you would accuse me of not loving all my children equally!”, he exclaimed in mock offense.

“Mhmm. So why did I have to come up with an explanation to tell Nathan why his dad wasn’t on board with ordering dessert when he asked for it, but relented once his sisters kept bugging him for another five minutes?”

He opened his mouth in protest, but decided against saying anything for his own good. “Well what can I say? They’ve inherited their mother’s persuasiveness. And I can’t really say no to you, can I?”

Alyssa’s lips curved upwards at that. The playful look in her husband’s eyes caused her to finally break into a grin. “At least you’re self-aware.” Stuffing the rice into the bird she added, “But I can’t exactly tell our son that his dad is too in-love with his mom that he sees her in his daughters and hence can’t say no to them. He’d gag in disgust.”

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head in the crook of her neck. “That he would. Alright I’ll try a little harder to resist their charms. Wouldn’t want my only son to end up hating me.” He said it without a hint of worry over it becoming true someday. Over the years, he’d learned to put aside his fears of not being a good father, and with the help of some therapy, and Alyssa’s unwavering love and support, he’d locked up his insecurities in a box and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean.

They took the stuffed chicken and put it in the oven, washed their hands and plopped down on the couch for some rare downtime.

“Crap.”

“Everything okay?”

“Fred’s mom got called in, so she’s dropping Nate off on her way to work.”

Ethan sighed. “There goes the hour I planned to spend with my wife, who I barely get to spend enough time with these days.”

“I swear, you were never this busy when you were chief. I have no idea why my workload’s ten times bigger.”

“I do.” Ethan smiled with pride. “One usually does have a lot of work when they’re at the front lines of the battle for making free healthcare accessible for every single person in the country. My brilliant wife, though she could choose to leave most of the work to her very competent team, opts to take it all upon herself. So that’s probably the cause behind all the extra workload she complains about.”

She smirked and perched herself onto his lap. “Well your very brilliant wife also knows that you called my team very competent just to avoid hurting my feelings, and that you and I both know that they’ll be running around like headless chickens without me taking care of things.”

“I know, love. But you can still make them do a little more instead of working yourself to the bone while still making sure that you have at least one meal with the kids every day.”

She sighed. “Yeah, to make sure that they don’t forget what I look like.” She leaned in closer. “Besides, are we really going to spend our last few minutes of peace talking about work?”

Just as she uttered the words, the door burst open, and Nathan kicked off his shoes and jumped onto the couch as Alyssa slid down from Ethan’s lap. She shot him a look that very clearly meant What did I just say?

Ethan gave her an apologetic look and ruffled his son’s hair. “Hey buddy. How was your day at Fred’s? I know you wanted to spend more time with him.”

“I did, and we were just about to open his new LEGO set when Mrs. Watson told us that she had to run up to her office for some emergency meeting.”, he pouted. “But it was a nice day. We watched Thor: Ragnarok and Luca, and we would’ve watched another movie if his dad didn’t tell us that two movies were enough for a day.”

Alyssa shot him a mildly stern look. “Well he was right. You’re too young to have movie marathons just yet. Two are more than enough, unless you want to have a headache.”

“But mom, I’m not too young! I’m a big boy! I can swing along the monkey bars at the park faster than Natalie, and soon I’ll swing across buildings just like Spider-Man!”

“Well Spider-Man got bitten by a yucky spider before he swung across buildings. Do you want to be bitten by a gross and poisonous spider?”

“Mommy, not all spiders are gross and poisonous. Dad told me that when I was four and got scared of them at the zoo.”

She rolled her eyes. Leave it to her husband to convince her kids that insects were anything short of creepy and disgusting. In reality, they were, but as someone who ran a mile away at the sight of a butterfly, she wasn’t going to accept that.

“That’s right, Nate. Some of them are certainly very poisonous and dangerous, but that doesn’t mean that you should be scared of them. If you maintain your distance and admire them from afar, there should be no problem at all.”, he said with a pointed look at Alyssa, who just huffed in annoyance.

Nathan giggled, his brown eyes lighting up with amusement. He loved watching his parents playfully bicker. It was way better than seeing them- ugh, kiss.

“We were pretending to be superheroes and Fred used his full name for his pretend name cause it sounded cool, and it is. Fredrick Anthony Watson sounds like something from that show you and mom watch with the guys in the stuffy suits.”

“When did you see us watching the show with the guys in the stuffy suits?”, asked Ethan with a slight hint of concern. Whatever he and Alyssa watched on their free nights was definitely not kid-friendly.

“I don’t remember. Maybe a few months ago.”

Their year old puppy, Ivy, woke up from her nap and bounced into the living room to jump onto her favourite person. Nathan squealed with joy as the fluffy hair of the dog tickled his nose.

Ethan and Alyssa smiled at each other. Getting another dog after Jenner was a decision that took a lot of convincing, but their kids were responsible enough and it was impossible to say no after two years of constant pestering.

“Fred told me that he was named after his great-grandfather William, and that he was this really cool guy who saved a bunch of guys from getting mugged in a dark, dark alley.” He turned to look at his parents as Ivy snuggled into his lap. “Who was I named after mom?”

The question caught her off guard, and she glanced at Ethan for backup.

When they knew that they were having a boy, they immediately knew what to name him. They hadn't, however, anticipated Nathan Daniel Brooks-Ramsey to ask such a question this soon.

Seeing his wife at a loss for words, Ethan spoke up. “C’mere Nate.” He pulled him closer and pressed a kiss atop his head. “We once had a friend named Daniel. He worked at the hospital as a nurse, and he was close to your mom and Aunt Sienna when they were interns.”

Having found her voice, Alyssa joined in. “He was an amazing friend. He was the only nurse in the hospital who helped me out when things got messy, and cheered up Aunt Sienna when no one else could. He’d join us for picnics and movie nights, and you could always count on him if you needed something at the hospital.” She took a deep breath, and Ethan nodded. “Things were going well, but then in my second year, something really bad happened.”

“Oh no.”

“There was this bad guy, who wanted his revenge on another bad guy, and he was ready to risk his own life, and the lives of everyone around him to do so.”

“That’s horrible! Who would want to do something like that?”

Ethan smiled wistfully. “A lot of people in this world actually do. You’re a good person, so you know that it’s wrong. But some people aren’t, and they don’t care about other people getting hurt because of their actions. That night at the hospital, Danny tried to tell the bad guy that it was wrong, and to think things through. But he didn’t listen, and did something that hurt both himself, Danny, Uncle Raf, another friend of ours, and your mom.”

His little eyebrows creased with worry, Nathan asked, “What happened then?”

“He… he died. Along with our other friend, Bobby. Do you remember what we once told you about an autopsy?” Nathan nodded his head. “Well Danny asked for his body to be autopsied, and thanks to him, we were able to find out what was wrong with mom and Uncle Raf.”

He fell silent for a moment, remembering the horrors of the day, and how eternally grateful he was to Danny for being the reason he didn’t lose everything. He couldn’t imagine a life without the love of his life and his children, and he wouldn’t have either if not for the sacrifices that were made.

He looked up at Alyssa, and she squeezed his hand in support. “We’ll tell you more when you’re older, but to make it short, you’re named after a hero too. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have you, your sisters, or mom here with me.”

Nathan wriggled out of his dad’s arms, and set Ivy down so he could hug his mom as tightly as he could.

“Well… if you can hear me Mr. Daniel, I just wanna thank you. Thanks for saving my mom. I love her so much and I’m so thankful that I got to meet her because of what you did. I wish I could’ve met you, you sound like a really cool person, and I’m sure you were. So yeah, thanks. A lot.”

Alyssa’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears, and she held her son as she expressed her silent thanks along with Ethan.

What they had was precious.

Fifteen years had passed since they first met, and yet each day they fell in love a little more like they did when they held hands for the first time in the dim light of the NICU watching over little Ethan, or when she finally got to see the real him the first time she visited his place; the first time in years he let someone know a little of the worries residing deep in his heart.

With all the odds against them, it was a miracle that they survived, even more so that they managed to raise three perfect children who had more love to share than they could ever comprehend.

And they’d never forget all the reasons that made it possible for them to survive.

Ding!

The timer on the oven went off, and they got to their feet to get the chicken.

“Was he a good cook dad?”

“I… don’t really know, Nate. Your mom knew him better than I did.”

“Well there was this one time where he helped Aunt Sienna bake an amazing cake, so I guess he knew his way around the kitchen.”, Alyssa recollected fondly. It was for Jackie’s birthday, one of the few nights where the competition was completely forgotten about.

Nathan’s face melted into a glowing smile. “I love cake. So I guess I really would’ve loved him.”

She mirrored his radiant expression. “You definitely would’ve.”

“Why don’t you go play with Ivy while mom and I get the food ready? You can help us with the dessert later.”

“We’re having dessert?!”

Ethan grinned at his son’s excitement. “You bet we are.”

“Yay!” They watched as Nathan ran off to go play fetch with Ivy in their enormous backyard.

Ethan pulled Alyssa in for a sweet, lingering kiss as soon as he was out of sight.

“You’ve been wanting to do that for a while now hmm?”

“Something like that.”, he murmured as they broke apart.

She could see the ever-increasing strands of silver in his brown hair, and the faint wrinkles along the sides of his forehead, but his clear blue eyes were just as loving and devoted as she remembered from over a decade ago.

“We have a pretty good life, don’t we?”

Ethan kissed her again. “No, we have the perfect life.”

——————————

A/N 2: Aaaand I’m going MIA again. Honestly though, to everyone who’s read so far, thank you so much for sticking around. Means the world💙

P.S: I finally chose Chyler Leigh as my face claim!

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[shihalyfie]

A meta and analysis on Takaishi Takeru

Of all of the Tokyo Chosen Children, Takeru is lucky enough to get significant attention for two full series from beginning to end, and his character also goes through some drastic changes in the process, especially through Adventure and 02. There’s so much going on with him that it makes it hard to give a short answer to the question “what is Takeru like?” because there’s so much you could say about him at so many different times.

Fortunately, that’s what we’re here to talk about today!

Takeru in Adventure

At first glance, Takeru seems to be the “tagalong kid” -- the obligatory “little kid character” you have whenever you have a party in a fantasy story. Generally, these “obligatory kid characters” are the kind constantly struggling to catch up with the older ones. Adventure being a series that loves to play with tropes and expectations, though, very quickly says no to that.

Seki: ...We also mixed up the children’s ages, for a bit of variety. Kakudou: The oldest one would be the most unreliable, and the smartest one would be one of the third youngest. Just a little to throw you off the usual, conventional track. Seki: The youngest one would feel too much like a burden to everyone else, and conversely would actually have himself together.

Takeru “doesn’t want to be a burden” -- meaning his feelings on this issue are actually rather much like Hikari’s. Unlike Hikari, though, Takeru reacts to this compulsion differently -- instead of simply repressing things and pretending the problem doesn’t exist, Takeru’s reaction to his own negative feelings is to “have himself together” and act as if he’s got everything under control.

Or, more accurately, pretend he has it together and has everything under control.

Takeru, for all intents and purposes, was not supposed to be on the camping trip the others were on, not having gone to everyone’s school -- he had to get special permission to go. Takeru’s family is very, very split harshly at this time, with his mother not even able to treat Yamato comfortably. Yamato deals with the familial estrangement badly -- alternating between approaching everyone awkwardly and exploding like an emotional fuse bomb -- but Takeru tries to take it as a sign  that he needs to be “responsible”. A lot of his actions in Adventure are him basically exuding this aura of “I can take care of myself!”, and in fact he works very hard to “assert” himself as if he were yet another peer. We even see him make the complaint directly in Adventure episode 43 -- while he is correct in calling out Yamato for coddling him and him only while recklessly disregarding the others, the fact he specifically complains about Yamato approaching him as someone holding them back if he’s not protected reveals a lot about his own mentality regarding the situation.

One of his first major scenes in episode 2 is him offering his own food for the pile of supplies everyone has, even though it’s just snacks. Which is, probably, a pretty accurate summary of Takeru’s character at this point: on the surface he’s responsible, well-behaved, and capable...but, in fact, he’s still about as immature as an average eight-year-old child would predictably be.

Yamato spends his Adventure character arc pretty openly angsting about his relationship to Takeru and how his family’s split has affected them, but throughout the entirety of Adventure (and, eventually, 02 as well), not only does Takeru rarely if ever touch on it, there are indications that Takeru deliberately tries to dodge the subject or not dwell on it too much. In Adventure episode 12, he actually outright lies to Patamon about his younger childhood memories, claiming he “probably doesn’t remember” anything about it despite the audience very clearly being shown that he very much did, and in episode 26 he comes very close to leaking his actual feelings about the group being separated being tied to what happened to his family, before quickly covering it up and trying to move on with the topic.

In other words, unlike Hikari, who knows exactly what she’s feeling but is compulsively unable to vocalize them, Takeru actively suppresses his negative feelings and tries not to dwell on them too much. Again, this comes from his desire to “not be a burden” on others -- he’s got this situation under control! Everything is fine!

And this has a very, very nasty payoff. While Yamato clearly deals with his emotional issues badly, tending to get very explosive about it, Takeru’s way of coping isn’t actually all that much better in the long run, because Yamato’s frustration and openness about his emotions at least lead him to being very straightforward about his feelings, incredibly self-aware and sometimes even self-conscious, and ultimately able to get at least some degree of catharsis from the situation. Takeru...not so much.

Takeru is a child, no matter how much he tries not to act like one, and it ultimately results in him reacting disastrously whenever something hits him too emotionally hard -- which results in Takeru suddenly becoming irrationally stubborn and even angry. We later see what it takes to actually break through Takeru’s facade of “totally having this together” in Adventure episode 22, which is also the first time he openly breaks down wailing in front of anyone besides Patamon -- and it’s, of course, when PicoDevimon convinces him that Yamato hates him. The interesting part is that this is so blatantly a lie that even Tokomon is able to quickly call bullshit on it, but Takeru, previously having worked so hard to maintain this facade of being responsible, falls for it completely with utter irrationality -- and it really does suggest that Takeru’s fear of losing yet another member of his family, and being a burden to Yamato, runs so deep that it causes that entire facade to shatter in one blow.

Which is where the problem lies: Takeru’s habit of suppression is so bad that once one of his triggers is hit, he completely loses all sense of rationality and blows up, and it becomes nearly impossible to reason with him because he locks down on becoming stubborn. It’s also dangerous because even he isn’t particularly self-aware of what he’s doing when he blows up like this; at least Hikari was very consciously aware of her suppression problem, but Takeru never really seems to have any awareness of the fact that his covering up of his feelings is directly related to some of his worst moments. We see it cause problems between him and Patamon again in Adventure episode 33, when Patamon asks a rather innocuous question about the brothers, and it hits Takeru’s trigger so badly that he snaps at him, resulting in the fight that kicks off the plot of the episode.

Adventure episode 52 is basically a major test for Takeru as to whether he really can hold himself together in a situation where everyone else older than him is gone, and “having himself together” is something he has to actually do instead of just have the surface facade of. He does, ultimately, pass, and this is why the Crest of Hope glows this episode -- but it’s also made clear that it wasn’t quite as easy for him as he would normally pretend it is. Of course, it also helps that Piemon is genuinely the scariest threat they’d faced during that time, but it also reveals that, yeah, ultimately, Takeru is an eight-year-old child who still has to struggle to put on a brave face so that Hikari doesn’t get impacted by his own fear.

For all it’s worth, although we get a ton of depth into his background and mentality, Takeru does not actually change that much as a character over the course of Adventure. This incident is probably what changes him the most in terms of him gaining a more solid core, and he also learns to accept the inevitability of fighting after his stubborn refusal to engage in it all the way back in Adventure episode 12 -- but for the most part he still does remain a bit naive about the world at large, and, more importantly, his issue with trying to cover up his problems with a confident smile never really gets addressed. At most, he’s willing to admit his grief over being separated from Patamon in Adventure episode 54, but even that is something Takeru tries to bounce back from quickly, much like with the first time he cried with Patamon in Adventure episode 12. But there’s nothing to indicate that his problem with emotional management isn’t going to continue being a problem from here on out if left unchecked.

That problem ends up taking another three more years to get addressed.

Takeru in 02

Takeru is one of the first people we meet in 02 (for reasons that end up revealed in the final episode), and right off the bat we learn that he’s a bit...evasive. He leaves a cryptic line to Daisuke about his goggles without coming even close to what we all know is the full extent of what’s on his mind (that the goggles specifically remind him of someone important to him), and later just...deflects Daisuke throwing accusations at him with a mild dismissal. In fact, even though Takeru pretty clearly understands very quickly what’s going on with Daisuke and how touchy he gets with the Hikari issue, he keeps dodging the question and constantly saying things that are evasive about it and therefore never truly helps his case until episode 17, when the circumstances between why Hikari and Takeru knew each other are finally properly clarified to Daisuke and he stops getting on their case about it on his own.

There were multiple points in time before this -- especially in episode 7, when Daisuke is practically at his worst in regards to approaching Takeru -- when Takeru could have easily said something to at least attempt to get Daisuke to stop bothering him, but Takeru never even asks him to cut it out! He simply continues to handle everything with a “yeah, okay, sure! :)” attitude, which of course confuses Daisuke (who’s rather allergic to people not being straightforward) rather thoroughly, and you wonder if he’s practically enjoying seeing Daisuke’s antics to the point he’s just enabling it further.

As a point of aside trivia, the official 02 website adds the fun detail that apparently he's popular with the girls at school but doesn't show much interest in them himself, and the Animedia audio commentary CD for Armor Evolution to the Unknown had his voice actor even express the opinion that he saw Takeru as someone who wasn’t really the type to think about romance at this age (adding in a separate interview for the 02 DVDs that he felt Takeru was respectful of girls primarily due to having been taught by his single mother to be such). The latter part of course isn’t something that comes from the writing, but given the website trivia I’m inclined to personally agree with it -- and, more importantly, the implication is that Takeru is at least aware of these kinds of things, but actively chooses to not think about it and deal with it when the time comes.

So in other words: That part about how Takeru actively suppresses things that are negative or inconvenient to think about, all for the sake of keeping a smile plastered on his face? Yup, still there.

In fact, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment from 02 episode 17 implies heavily that, even with their parents having developed a more cordial relationship after the events of Adventure, Takeru is now emotionally dealing with the aftermath of his parents’ divorce worse than Yamato is, since Yamato is at least able to speak about it casually and even joke about it openly, whereas Takeru keeps his mouth shut and the framing of the shot heavily implies he’s still extremely sensitive and unable to vocalize his feelings on it. Takeru never brings this up as something eating away at him for the entire series -- but BelialVamdemon uses it against him in episode 49, revealing that, yes, this is a problem that’s still tearing away at him, and yet he’s refusing to be open to anyone about it, even to Yamato himself. (Especially since, again, Yamato seems to be doing a great job trying to move forward; why kill his mood and thus be a “burden” to him?)

Even so, Takeru is very different in 02 partially because his circumstances are completely different. Adventure had him as the youngest in a group of older kids, so in terms of “being a responsible child”, that naturally meant being deferential and polite to everyone due to standards of propriety. 02 is where we learn a lot more about how Takeru interacts with peers his own age and people who are outright younger than him, when he has a bit more leeway to be more assertive.

On top of that, back in Adventure, Takeru was a young child who had a very small “range of periphery” -- as a young child still rather naive about the world, his emotional investment in things primarily pertained to loved ones and the people around him. But now that he’s a bit older, he’s gained a certain degree of strong feelings about “what’s the right thing to do”, and now has very strong opinions on it.

These things ultimately manifest in, unfortunately, Takeru losing his composure much more often than he did in Adventure, and for reasons that pertain to much wider things than just his brother. Still not having recovered from the trauma of losing Patamon back in Adventure episode 13, Takeru starts physically fighting Daisuke in 02 episode 11 because he perceives Daisuke as not doing enough to prevent Patamon from potentially becoming a slave to the Kaiser, and in 02 episode 13 he lashes out at Hikari in frustration about her refusal to do anything about her situation (which he of course ends up deeply regretting later in the episode).

Takeru’s infamous scene of suddenly switching modes on the Kaiser and punching him out in 02 episode 19 is basically the pinnacle of this -- because, yes, the Kaiser really did deserve it, but this really is not a good thing for Takeru either. This is Takeru getting the closest we ever see him to being a genuine sadist, and it’s basically everything to do with his emotional stuntedness coming out at once -- blowing up in anger out of nowhere with a passive-aggressive demeanor, succumbing to the weight of his trauma in the worst way possible, and mixing the ^^ front he puts on with his tendency to blow up angrily at anything that cuts him a little too emotionally close.

And for the first time, we see someone actually acknowledge how bad this is. Iori, one of the most consciously perceptive of the group, witnesses, for himself, the sheer jarringness of Takeru seeming to only really have two modes between “all smiles” and “unreasonably angry”. Sure, Takeru had shown a penchant for getting active as soon as there was something he needed to protect, but the moment it got personal, Takeru suddenly blew up in front of his eyes and almost turned into a completely different person. (Perhaps he’s not that different from Yamato after all...)

This is a very important moment because it sets up the base for what ultimately becomes the Jogress arc between Iori and Takeru. Daisuke ended up reaching out to Ken because Ken was someone who needed someone to accept him and teach him to move forward instead of drowning in the past; Miyako ended up reaching out to Hikari because Hikari knew herself to have a suppression problem but had difficulty doing anything about it, so the extremely in-your-face and aggressive Miyako could go in deep. But with Takeru, since his personality is genuinely volatile, and because Takeru goes out of his way to hide the fact he’s having emotional problems, personalities like Daisuke and Miyako wouldn’t help much because they’re too straightforward for someone like this who’s a bit unpredictable -- whereas Iori, who’s assertive but also methodical and thinks through everything consciously, is eventually much better able to reach out to him.

Once the relevant arc kicks in, in 02 episode 34, Iori continues to observe Takeru, and quietly notes the many “contradictions” in Takeru’s behavior -- since, after all, Takeru starts to sometimes violate what you’d think would be common sense whenever he gets too emotionally compromised. The fact that ostensibly one of the outwardly “nicest” kids in this group suddenly blows up in certain circumstances and basically goes “absolutely nope, needs to be killed!” in the midst of a few moral debates over killing sentient Digimon disturbs him deeply, and really, it’s not even about the killing part (after all, it’s later established in 02 episode 43 and after that Takeru and Hikari have a certain degree of acceptance of the inevitability that the others don’t) as much as Takeru’s being pretty gung-ho about it. Not “I don’t like it, but we have to” like he said earlier, but NOPE, GOTTA DO IT.

Iori refers directly to the duality of Takeru that he doesn’t quite understand multiple times in this episode (including in regards to the incident back in 02 episode 19), and it continues to torment him until the end, when Takeru only gives a very cryptic “clarification” that he doesn’t necessarily hate the darkness per se.

Iori, too intimidated to ask Takeru about it directly, goes to ask Yamato in 02 episode 35, and Yamato finally clarifies the background that we as the audience knew but Iori didn't: the story behind Takeru's trauma regarding the loss of Angemon back in Adventure episode 13. Yamato also makes a conjecture about why Takeru has been acting so ambivalent towards Ken -- you'd think he'd still be under Takeru's scorn after the events of 02 episode 19, but in fact Takeru's judgment of him in episode 25 was simply that he was certain something had changed, yet he couldn't tell what he was thinking (really rich coming from someone who refuses to tell anyone else what he's thinking himself!). Yamato guesses that Takeru is inclined to be a bit more forgiving of Ken due to understanding the feeling of losing a partner -- and the ultimate conclusion here is, basically, that Takeru's behavior is contradictory because he's acting based on what's personal to him, not necessarily via principles that make sense. After all, back in Adventure, it was clearly demonstrated that Takeru isn’t exactly rational when things hit too close to home.

The other important thing that happens this episode is that Takeru learns that Iori is actively trying to reach out to him, when Yamato drops him a line informing him that Iori asked. Despite complaining that Iori could have just asked him directly, after Takeru witnesses the face-off between Iori and BlackWarGreymon and a demonstration that Iori is clearly trying his best to make sense out of this entire mess, Takeru actively reaches out to Iori and says something to comfort him -- “a life is beautiful simply by existing.” It’s still cryptic as hell, but it’s not something he would have said in the midst of his anger in prior episodes.

It would be one thing if it were simply that by itself, but the following episodes further push the idea that Takeru really is starting to change after witnessing all of this. 02 episode 36 has him explicitly acknowledge what Iori’s been doing this whole time in trying to understand him for the sake of their Jogress, and, finally, during their meal later that episode, he says, very openly and honestly, that he thinks they’ll be able to do it now. After two instances of Jogress, these kids are very aware of what that entails -- so this is basically Takeru consciously acknowledging to Iori “yes, I understand that you’re trying to reach out to me, and I accept it and want to understand you.” Because Takeru is such a convoluted sort of person, this “understanding” ended up being something that didn’t span a single magical moment as much as it took several episodes and a diplomatic, conscious affirmation on both ends -- but it’s a fitting way to go for someone who had always indicated some pretty poor conscious awareness of where his feelings were taking him.

This is especially because, in 02 episode 37, his statements to comfort Ken are in pretty significant opposition to the sort of anger he’d displayed in earlier episodes, and are now a more pragmatic view of the issue in light of Iori’s efforts and everything he’d just witnessed with BlackWarGreymon -- and to drive the point home, the episode has, at the very end of it, Takeru making his first true explicit show of goodwill towards Ken after having been a bit touchy with him for so many episodes.

Iori himself, being the youngest of the 02 group, still has a lot to learn, and so Takeru, who had previously been one of the youngest in the Adventure group himself, now has his role inverted to effectively be a guiding mentor to Iori as he finds his own way. Basically, Takeru becomes responsible for the welfare of this young child, and so his way of treating Iori is markedly different from the more detached and playful way he would treat others from here on out. This is especially because, earlier, Yamato had informed him that Iori had taken a very roundabout way to help understand him better, and so Takeru probably understands that he scared the hell out of Iori earlier and needs to do better. While the Takeru of 02 episodes 38-50 still has a way of being playful, and while he still isn’t completely straightforward about his intentions, he is definitely much better about being open with the others, especially Iori, instead of doubling down on his “everything-is-fine” mode.

And perhaps this is what the other meaning of “hope” thus became in this situation -- learning to be forward-facing even in the midst of truly knowing and understanding everything that’s wrong with the situation.

Post-02

Although Takeru’s Spring 2003 track is addressed to no one in particular, meaning that it’s the most likely reason he’s so willing to be open about it, Takeru outright admits he’s having problems with his emotions -- especially those pertaining to Angemon’s death. We do, however, learn that Takeru’s started writing the early, early drafts of what’ll eventually end up becoming the novels he writes as a future career.

This being only a year after the events of 02, Takeru’s position is interesting. His decision to start writing is that he wants to have a record of everything before it’s forgotten -- because these things are very personal to him -- but he’s not emotionally ready for the huge task of finalizing everything in words, to the point he still hasn’t told his mother he’s started writing yet. After all, this is a book we eventually find out takes upwards of twenty years, and so this is the presumable reason why -- being able to get this down in a rational way that’s not emotionally compromising is going to be an upwards battle for him.

Even come Kizuna, there’s still a long way for him to go, because an actual line (in a very fast-paced movie) is dedicated to establishing that he’s still uncomfortable with his novel progress to the point he won’t even let Yamato see it. His official character profile and background details are revealing, too -- although he’s currently taking language classes in university and is even part of a children’s literature club, he still hasn’t actually decided on what to do with his future, meaning that he hasn’t determined that he’s going to be a full-time novelist with these yet. That means that even though he’s clearly still clacking away at his novel (multiple indications in the movie are given as such), his memoirs are still at the level of being so deeply personal, and not something he feels comfortable telling well, just yet.

I’ve pointed out before that despite not appearing directly with them in the movie, Takeru and Hikari have more in common with the others in the 02 group than they do with their Adventure seniors, and this is fully codified in the drama CD when Takeru is content to basically just “do whatever” with the rest of his friends instead of having any particular concerns about his future. And as someone who has a tendency to kind of just let his emotions take him wherever they’re going, this isn’t too surprising. Although he approximates as the closest to level-headed during most of the group’s antics during the CD, he’s still completely guilty of enabling them full-force, after all...

So, with the 02 epilogue, we get the massive meta reveal that the entire series was Takeru’s novels the whole time. This was planned to be the ending for Adventure before recording for the first episode had even started, but was postponed to the end of 02 when the second series was greenlit -- and if you’d followed the Japanese version, there are a ton of meta hints scattered around from day one:

The narrator of the series is Hirata Hiroaki, who played Takeru and Yamato’s father, and is revealed in this episode to voice him as an adult as well;

Episode 12 of Adventure is named “Adventure! Patamon and Me” and is the only episode title in Adventure or 02 to use a first-person pronoun -- and it’s of course a Takeru-centric episode, with the episode title using Takeru’s boku;

02′s first episode kicks off narrated by young Takeru opening the story, with Takeru himself suspiciously omitted from the opening vignettes;

02 episode 18 suddenly has the narration cut in when discussing Takeru’s trauma from Adventure episode 13, with the younger Takeru even filling in part of it himself;

02 episode 49′s “next episode” preview for 50 suddenly also starts using “we”, which also includes Takeru’s boku;

Finally, Takeru starts narrating right after Oikawa’s death, which fades into what’s revealed to be his adult voice.

In the context of Adventure, Takeru was “the youngest child”, so the idea makes sense that “the littlest one” would be the one to grow up and reflect on all of the adventures they had as kids -- and once 02 was added, it practically made sense that Takeru would be the one to recap both adventures, being the one person who was there to completely witness both (it also explains why Takeru and Hikari’s character arcs remain somewhat unresolved by the end of Adventure compared to others, since by this time it was apparent their story would be continued in the second series). So on a meta level, Takeru is, in a certain way, one of the most important characters in both groups.

On a level relevant to his personal character arc, on the other hand, the point here is that Takeru finally managed to put together his book and story in a way that he was comfortable telling the entire world about, to the point of choosing to make his entire career into it. That’s something that requires a lot of coming to terms with what happened, how he feels about it, how others feel about it, and everything about the whole ordeal in general, without compromise or (too much) bias.

And in the end, that’s really a lot!

[vizowrites]

“We” vs “Me”| or “Why BlitzStrike Works So Well For Me But Stolitz [as of episode 6].....Doesn’t”

Alright my Loves, so I said that I was going to talk in further detail about my feelings regarding Stolas and the multi-layered portrayal of his relationship with Blitz in the new episode, and today’s the day where that happens!!  First of all, though, before I really get into my feelings about things, I want to just make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I’m not trying to sway anyone from one side to the other, or trying to shame anyone for shipping two fictional characters.  I’m fully in the boat that you are completely entitled to ship whoever you want, but I also think it’s wise to at least be able to recognize the faults and flaws in a pairing--and especially to be able to recognize them in the context of an IRL relationship.  In this analysis in particular, I’m specifically focusing on these two relationships within the realm of the Helluva Boss universe [......Hell] and within the specific context of their characters as they’ve been portrayed in the show thus far.  And, my biggest disclaimer of all: I’m doing this for no other reason than I felt like putting my jumbled thoughts together into a cohesive post so that they don’t have to stay bouncing and buzzing around in my head.  Please keep that in mind that this is just pure personal opinion and interpretation before anyone comes at me with torches and pitchforks.  <3 <3 

SO WITH THAT LONG ASS DISCLAIMER OUT OF THE WAY 

Let’s finally get to the good stuff.  And the not so good stuff.  :D

So I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone who follows me here that I’m a huge BlitzStrike fan.  What I think fewer people know is that when I first entered the fandom a few months ago, I actually was on board the Stolitz train like so many others that I’ve met here in the fandom.  Naturally Stolitz was the first major pairing I was introduced to, and I did find both the characters of Blitz and Stolas incredibly interesting and compelling in their own rights AND saw the potential in how they could really come to grow into one hell of a relationshp over time.  I was honestly really excited to see it happen, too.  

And then I watched Episode 5 [still my favorite episode, btw] for the first time and had this sudden question hit me like a truck that even now is still relentlessly burning in the back of my mind because I still haven’t found a legitimate answer for it: Why in the FUCK wasn’t Blitz falling head-over-heels in attraction to Striker throughout this fucking episode??

And I don’t mean that in a “They’re so hot and I ship them now why didn’t they get together?? DX DX” kind of way--I mean that in the genuinely perplexed “I don’t understand based on what has been presented to me thus far about Blitz as a character and the storyline overall why he’s reacting so nonchalantly to this whole thing”.  To Note: This is me wondering this from the context of what’s in the show itself, not from any extra fan materials like the Instas or Twitter or just straight up knowing that the most likely answer is that there are people on the creative team that ship Stolitz really hard and realistically wouldn’t have probably written Blitz as being attracted to Striker because that would just be--to quote Jack Sparrow--blowing holes in their own ship.  No, this is me disregarding ALL of that and trying to rationalize this with myself from the perspective of a fan whose entire knowledge of the show and its characters comes exclusively from what’s in the episodes themselves.  .....And that’s where I just can’t find my answer, except for the Stolitz positive “He’s not attracted to Striker because he’s in love with Stolas” answer.  Which really doesn’t even feel like a satisfying answer, because the entire vibe I’ve gotten from Stolitz in the show has just felt.....strangely.....off.  Like, the framework is there and the elements are there, but I’d felt as though they had so far to go still that it would be entire SEASONS before they got there.    

And THEN the new episode [Episode 6] came out and I’d heard a handful of fans going crazy because the show was finally addressing Stolitz in full, and I thought to myself, “Well, maybe if the show really is going to go with saying that the reason Blitz wasn’t interested in Striker is because he’s in love with Stolas.....sure.  I’m curious to see how they finally establish it in an episode, especially since there’s only two more episodes left in the entire first season.”  And then I watched the episode.  And then it hit me why Stolitz just does not do a damn thing for me but BlitzStrike does despite the fact that we’ve had 4/6 episodes [5/7 if you count the Pilot] of Stolitz but only 1/6 [1/7] of potential--not even canonical--BlitzStrike:

When Striker talks about Blitz, or interacts with Blitz, he always talks about them as a “we”.  As a team.  A partnership.  OR he just straight up puts the entire focus on Blitz and his accomplishments and keeps himself out of it entirely.

When Stolas talks about Blitz, he always talks about them within the context of “me”--of himself--of what Blitz does or should do for him.  Even here in episode 6, in the most “selfless” instance we’ve seen yet, where he does ask about Blitz’s safety first BEFORE going right back into how Blitz’s actions affect him and what Blitz should be doing in response for him.  Stolas’s focus is always automatically set to himself--and even when it comes to the people he supposedly loves the most.  

To explain what I mean here, let me give some examples directly from the show itself, starting with the Stolas side of things: 

Episode 1

Blitz, in the middle of trying to hide so much that he actually clamps both of his hands over his mouth just to muffle the sound of his own breathing, knowing damn well that this psychotic bitch who already shot him once won’t hesitate to do it again if she finds him.....gets a call from Stolas.  Stolas, who we clearly see from his leisurely hang out time in his bubble bath, is literally watching this happen and is fully aware that calling Blitz right then was potentially putting him in danger. But what does he say when he gets Blitz on the phone?  He offers--not help--but Blitz the use of his book in exchange for monthly sex.  Stolas literally uses Blitz’s peril as leverage here--consciously or not, though given the fact that he knows the situation at hand, I’d find it very hard to argue that he didn’t do this on purpose--just to get him to agree to be his bootycall until further notice.  

Stolas not only doesn’t lift a finger to help Blitz once in all of this--even at the moment where he and Millie are about to be shot in the face--but instead continues to stay on the phone talking about all of the things he wants for their upcoming future rendezvous.  He already got exactly what he wanted out of this and he still just continues to go for more for himself.

Episode 2

.....There are honestly so many fucked up things that happen here as far as Stolas and his relationship with Blitz goes but honestly the thing I want to draw the MOST attention to is actually Stolas’s storyline with his daughter, Octavia.  I know it’s a little left field, but bear with me--this is actually something I want to use as comparison for Stolas’s relationship to Blitz as we go along:

When Stolas first decides that he’s going to take his daughter to Loo Loo Land, he does so while completey setting aside the fact that she doesn’t want to go.  He just offers her assurances that it’s going to be so much fun because he remembers that she loved it so much when she was a little girl--effectively putting his memory above her wishes even as she’s sitting right there and telling him that she doesn’t enjoy the idea of going now.  

Stolas doesn’t actually notice just how uncomfortable he’s making Octavia throuhought their entire trip by spending his time sexually harassing paying more attention to Blitz than he is trying to cheer her up.  This tells me that Stolas--though I do believe he genuinely wanted to do something to make her happy--still wasn’t able to completely overcome his own self-centered tendencies at first even when it’s for her.  And this is the person that Stolas loves more than anyone or anything else in the entire world. It still wasn’t enough.

It’s only when Octavia runs off and completely breaks down that Stolas finally gets the much needed slap-to-the-face of reality to understand just what he’s putting his daughter through--and, for the first time in the entire show, he actually puts someone else’s needs and well being above himself.  It’s the one solid honest display of love that we see from Stolas in the entire show--and it’s how we as the audience come to learn that that’s how Stolas shows that he loves someone: When he puts their needs above his own with no strings attached or expectations of something in return.  A true selfless act just because he loves them.  **Keep in mind the parallel of Stolas carrying Octavia out of Loo Loo Land at the end, and how it compares to Stolas carrying Blitz out of D.H.O.R.K.S headquarters.

Episode 5

The. Fucking. Cigarette.  I had no idea that something so small and quick would be able to infuriate me as much as it did, but the fact that Blitz used the post sex cigarette to free Stolas from his wrist bondage but then Stolas turned around and put the cigarette out on Blitz’s horn which is literally a part of Blitz’s body just.....honestly it sums up exactly what I’m trying to get across in this entire huge ass post: Stolas only ever thinks of himself first and anything pertaining to anyone else just doesn’t cross his mind at all unless you blatantly put it there in front of his face.  And the fact that he’s still at this point with Blitz all the way here in Episode 5 is not.....promising for their relationship.

The fact that Stolas literally cannot stop himself from calling Blitz “Blitzy” or talking to him in such a condescending way no matter how frustrated Blitz gets and how many times he asks him to stop.  I just--how is that supposed to be interpreted as someone talking to a person that they love?  There’s no respect or dignity given to Blitz at all on Stolas’s part, and the fact that it seems to be presented as a “Oh teehee it’s just their cute couple thing” is just.....I really, really don’t like that.  It also doesn’t match with the Stolas in the very next episode which I quite frankly think is because the creators have been listening to the feedback from fans and were like “We need to SHOW THEM that Stolas actually does speak to Blitz respectfully!!” but that’s just my personal opinion there and, also, it still didn’t happen.  

Episode 6 

Keeping in mind that THIS is finally the episode where we see Stolas actually save Blitz from danger and demonstrate even the slightest inclination towards his well-being.....I think that honestly makes the next few things here even more fucked up

First and foremost: “WE”.  The second after Stolas asks if Blitz is alright and gets the assurance that he is, he roughly grabs his cheek and points out that “If you get in trouble, I get in trouble!  WE don’t want that”.  The fact that this is the first time that Stolas ever talks about Blitz in the context of “we”--when really what he’s really saying is that him [Stolas] getting in trouble is going to be a bad thing for all of them--is just.....so, so disappointing.  At least with this I could hope that perhaps the idea here is that Stolas is genuinely afraid that if he gets in trouble, he won’t be able to protect Blitz from the undoubtedly much worse trouble that he would be in as an imp, but still.  The fact that Stolas immediately reverts back to his self-centered perspective so quickly after supposedly being so worried about Blitz’s wellbeing, really makes it seem as though it’s just his own ass that he’s trying to protect.  And that.....isn’t  exactly what I’d been expecting from “the episode that confirms Stolitz is canon” feedback I’d been hearing.

"Am I going to get ANY thank you for the rescue Bltizy?”  This for me was kind of what actually lead to me having this whole epiphany over Stolas’s selfish perspective in the first place.  I realized that even here--even when he’s just been the most “romantic” towards Blitz that he’s ever been in any previous episodes up until now [and yes this shift in his character was incredibly jarring for me because of that]--Stolas still goes right back to thinking about what he’s going to get out of this now that he knows Blitz is safe.  Let’s take this back to that thing I was saying about Episode 2 and comparing how Stolas rescued Octavia and how he rescues Blitz.  Obviously they’re going to be different because it’s Stolas’s daughter vs his hook up BUT just think about where the focus is for Stolas in both of these scenes.  With Octavia, Stolas is entirely focused on making things up to her--taking her to do something she wants to do--even if it’s something that he himself doesn’t fully understand or isn’t fully into.  That doesn’t matter though, because the entire point is that he’s doing something just for her.  It doesn’t have to be about him.  But now go back to the scene where Stolas is carrying Blitz out of the room.  What does he do?  Ask what Blitz is going to do for him.  That just takes the idea that this scene was a confirmation of their love and throws it right out the window.  Stolas--as we’ve been shown before--would never ask for something in return from someone that he actually loves.  

Now let’s take a look at the one and only episode we have of Striker and Blitz interacting together, with an honorary shout out at hallucination!Striker’s appearance in Episode 6: 

Episode 5: 

Striker knows Blitz’s name.....and he uses it.  He’s literally the ONLY other character that we’ve seen so far refer to Blitz as “Blitz” instead of “Blitzo” or “Blitzy” by someone who wasn’t a member of I.M.P..  Aka someone who wasn’t a member of Blitz’s family.  He shows Blitz respect at that basest level, and only builds on that from there going forward.

Striker first recognizes Blitz for being “the bold imp that started his own killin’ biz”.  Not his hotness, not his skills in the Harvest Moon games because at that point he hasn’t seen them yet.....but for his accomplishment in starting up his own successful business down in Hell.  He treats it as an accomplishment.  With the kind of respect that comes with acknowledging another person for their accomplishments.  Right there, within two seconds of meeting him, Striker demonstrates more respect for Blitz than Stolas has yet to do in the entire show.

The Harvest Moon Festival Games.  Now this is something I find fascinating to think about from Striker’s perspective in particular.  We as the audience are shown pretty early on that Striker has a strong desire to be the one who comes out on top.  He likes the idea of being superior and he openly relishes in the praise and attention he gets for being better than everybody else.  ....Except Blitz.  When they tie in the games, Striker doesn’t seem bothered with sharing the spotlight with him at all.  If anything, he--again--respects just how skilled Blitz is in rightfully earning his place beside him on the stage.  That, to me, is HUGE.  I’m not going to go so far as to say that Striker necessarily sees them as equals because I think that might be going a bit too far for his ego but he does still fully acknowledge that Blitz is in the same general class as him: that is to say, better than most.  Worthy of the same kind of acknowledgement and praise that Striker gets.  I literally can’t get over just how big of a thing that is for what we’ve been shown of Striker’s character, and I think it’s unfortunately something that’s incredibly easy to miss or gloss over. :(

And now--for what I personally think is the most significant thing of all--we have: “We”.  How many times does Striker suggest during that final scene between them that he really wants Blitz to join forces with him as equals?  He never demands that Blitz join up with him, he doesn’t threaten him into joining up with him--Striker barely even hurts Blitz at all during their fight scene compared to how he tried to straight up murder Moxxie--and, most of all, Striker continues to acknowledge that Blitz deserves better than his current arrangement with Stolas.  And he’s right.  But instead of putting it as “I’M right and this is why you should do this”, he always puts his focus on Blitz himself, or the two of them together as a partnership:  “You are so above sucking on a a digusting rich pompous Goetia” | “We could be the most dangerous beings in Hell, Blitz” | “You could partner up with me and klll the unkillable--starting with the one that treats you like a plaything”.  It’s just--I honestly can’t believe it’s taken me this long to put together why Striker appeals so much more to me as a romantic interest for Blitz, but really breaking it down episode by episode and comparing the differences in wording between Striker and Stolas’s dialogue when it comes to Blitz is just.....holy shit. 

Honorary ShoutOut of Episode 6: 

The fact that the only thing hallucination Striker has to say to him is “But you don’t want to do things alone Blitzo!” is really, really interesting to me in the fact that he’s.....not......wrong??  Like, To be fair, Striker, RoboFizz, and Verosika all spill their harsh truths, but the thing is.....Striker’s is markedly different in that his wording really isn’t harsh or aggressive at all the way the other two are.  He’s just kinda stating a fact in an overexaggerated way because tripping balls hallucination sequence.  It’s very interesting to me that that’s the worst that Blitz can imagine him to say--as well as the fact that halluci!Striker calls him “Blitzo”, which is really weird considering that Striker’s never called him “Blitzo” once in the entire show.  Makes me kinda wonder where that came from tbh. 

Alright so, in conclusion of this very long and rambly styie post: I want to take things back to where I started by reiterating that this is not me trying to convince anyone that BlitzStrike is “right” and Stolitz is “wrong”, or that you should stop shipping what you’re shipping in the fandom.  This was just me honestly getting way more excited than I should’ve been over having my “Eureka!” moment for realizing why this new episode didn’t put me back on the Stolitz train like it did for so many other people--and why, in fact, it actually made me think even more favorably of the idea of Blitz and Striker being together.  

Thanks for sticking around with me for this very long read, I hope you found it interesting, and I really really hope that it didn’t piss anyone off or rub too many people the wrong way.  Like I said at the beginning, ship who you want to ship!!  That’s part of the fun of being in a fandom.  I’m just hoping that this might help make it easier to understand at least one perspective on why Stolitz is seen as being so problematic as a ship [as of where they are right now].  

Here’s to seeing where things go from here!! 

[galactic-magick]

Something New: Jimmy Woo x Reader

Summary: You become pretty fond of the cute FBI agent that comes to your coffee shop every morning.

Words: 900+

Warnings: none, maybe spoilers for episode 6 and 7 if you squint (it’s only mentioned in subtext)

Author’s Notes: I don’t think I’ve ever written an actual coffee shop AU before lol, but I had to write this idea with Jimmy, he’s one of my faves hehe

Taglist: @banner-swift​

-

-

-

You can’t help but wonder who this mysterious man is, always coming in at the same time every morning, ordering the same three coffees, and wearing an FBI jacket.

Even when you’re not working at the counter, you’re usually hanging out somewhere in the coffee shop, doing whatever you need to on your laptop in the calming environment. Since he’s come here every day for the past couple weeks, he knows you by name and always waves to you as he heads out wherever you are. It almost feels like you have an unspoken friendship, despite not exchanging any words besides “hellos” and “how are yous.”

You always look forward to seeing his handsome face, even though you know you’ll probably never know him any deeper. He seems like a nice guy, and you suppose the three coffees he always orders are for friends or family.

“Jimmy! Hey!” you greet him as he walks up to the register. “The usual, I assume?”

“Yes, thank you,” he nods. “Actually, could I add another one to that?”

“Yeah, sure! What would you like?”

“Could you make me your favorite drink?”

“My favorite?” you question.

“Yeah, I’m feeling like I want to try something new,” he smiles. “It can be anything, be as creative as you want,”

“Alright!” you laugh, finishing punching in the numbers and sliding his credit card.

You turn around and get to it, the first three drinks you already know by heart. Then you start on your personal favorite, taking advantage of all the secret ingredients available to you. You’ve never asked exactly which of the three coffees is his, so you’re not sure what his personal taste in coffee is like, so you hope it’s not too disappointing.

Before you put it in the tray, you hesitate. You don’t want to overthink it, but did he ask for your personal favorite for a reason? Did he like you, maybe?

No, no, you can’t get caught up in daydream land again. He was probably just curious, wanted to be friendly.

But writing your number on the cup wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Before you can convince yourself out of it, you scribble it down. You double check that all the lids are secure and then hand him his order.

“Have a great day!” you say.

“You too!” he waves, going on his way.

 -

 The next morning, he doesn’t show up at his normal time.

Or any time, for that matter.

Was it you? Did you scare him away?

Did something come up? Should you be worried?

You try to ignore all the questions bouncing around your head while you work. You need to be focused, and other customers are still counting on you.

You’re halfway through making an iced mocha when your co-worker comes up to you, “Hey, where was that cute FBI guy today?”

You shrug, finishing pouring the drink and labeling it, “Not sure,”

“I heard there’s been some weird government agency stuff over near Eastview, maybe he’s involved with that,”

“I don’t know,” you shake your head, continuing to make drinks. “I barely know him,”

“Oh come on, I saw you write your number on his cup yesterday,”

“Shut up,”

“Hey, no need to get defensive, I was just wondering if you knew anything,” they laugh. “You better claim him quick though, or I might shoot my shot,”

They walk away and you roll your eyes.

Maybe he really is just on a top-secret dangerous case, or maybe he had to move somewhere else last minute. It’s not like you know anything about all these agencies, especially the ones involved with superheroes. He’s probably fine.

 -

 You have another shift later at night, the time of day where the shop is mostly full of college students on the verge of mental breakdowns. It’s pretty slow, as most people buy what they want and then sit down for a while until the shop closes.

You spend the free time cleaning up a bit early, so there’s less to do when you have to help close. You sweep the floors and wipe down all the counters, and start putting away the extra syrups and sauces.

“Y/N!”

You whip your head towards the familiar voice, coming from none other than Jimmy. He runs to the counter, completely out of breath.

“I wanted to get here before you closed,” he exhales. “Sorry I wasn’t here this morning, something happened at work, but I really wanted to see you, and I didn’t want you to think I was mad at you or anything,”

“Oh! Yeah, that’s okay,” you laugh nervously, realizing all the customers and your co-workers are watching you. “Um, do you still want your usual coffees?”

“No, no, my hearts beating too fast already, and I’d only need one now…” he trails off.

“Alright, that’s cool,” you sigh.

“Do you want to go somewhere?” he blurts. “Like, with me?”

“Really?”

“I would’ve called you before, but I…lost the cup,”

You laugh, “That’s fine. Although my shift still has 15 minutes-“

Your co-worker mouths a “we’ll cover for you,” and you nod in appreciation.

“Okay, yeah, let’s go,” you take off your apron and grab your things, following him outside.

You start just walking down the block with him, attempting to process what just happened.

“It was delicious, by the way,” Jimmy says.

“Hmm?”

“The drink you made me. I can see why it’s your favorite,”

“Thanks,” you chuckle.

“Sorry I’m not very good at this,” he ruffles his hair. “I did get across that I like you, right?”

“Barely, but yeah,” you laugh. “Hopefully I did too?”

“I think so,” he nods. “Is it too late for some dinner?”

You shrug, “I didn’t have time to grab some before my shift, so nah,”

“Great,” he smiles, holding out his hand. “Shall we?”

You take it with a grin, hoping tonight is the start of something new.

[kittydemon9000]

Alright so I know Literally Nobody asked for this but the idea of leaguers having differnt armor types, speeds, and strengths is so fascinating to me so here’s an entire post about my headcanons about it, staring the Main 7 since they’re the ones we see most and have the most evidence for. 

Also, please keep in mind that this is completely made based on memory alone and it’s been a bit since I last saw the show. If I missed something or remembered something wrong feel free to correct me or add your own thoughts.

Also also, I made a chart (the chart is based on the strongest for the leaguer, not out of all of them, ex: Top Joy’s strongest is different from GZ’s strongest)

First off, the leader of Silver Castle himself, Magnum Ace, a Baseball Leaguer. Right off the bat(hah puns) I immediately knew his arms would be the strongest points. He seems to have been created with him being a pitcher in mind and his 44 Sonic has clearly been shown to posses a lot of power which he would need the strength to handle. There’s also how he was shown to be a decent hitter in Gold Arm’s flashback, sending every ball into the outfield. As for his weakest points, they were also pretty easy. The joints are a bit of a constant with all of the leaguers I showed, but the fins are because they seem to be rather thin and probably can’t hold up very well under pressure. There’s also the shoulder joints, which I wasn’t able to put on the diagram, since as shown during the end of the series, if Magnum repeatedly pitches his 44 Sonic without rest the stress on his shoulders start to cause them to break down, to the point where he was forced to sit out for the next few days for repairs. Speed wise Magnum is nothing special and in my eyes pretty average amongst the team.

Next up, we have Mach Windy, a Soccer Leaguer. Similar to Magnum, I knew almost immediately his strongest point would be his legs since, y’know, soccer. Everything(physical) we see coming from Windy is almost always centered around his leg strength and speed. This is outright said when Silver Castle is resting after some baseball training and Magnum tells Windy(I shit you not) “We believe in your leg.” There’s also his Mach Spin which depends entirely on his ability to kick to ball at an extremely high speed. There’s also a scene when trying to help Gold Foot during the Forced Retirement Arc where his kicks a ball of solid rock without any issues. The scene also brings me to why his head is a strong point. Heading is also something Windy has been shown to be able to do, and referencing the Forced Retirement Arc again where he head butts the aforementioned ball of rock. For speed, as mentioned before, when it comes to running Windy seems to be the fastest amongst Silver Castle. The weakness I feel is pretty self explanatory since soccer doesn’t really require use of your arms unless you’re a goalie. There’s also how in the Jet Setter episode Bull sees Windy loose an arm wrestle almost immediatly with Ryuuken, but that might just be since Ryuuken is ridiculously powerful. As for durability, he seems to be not very strong, instead having lighter armor for more speed.

Speaking of Ryuuken, let’s talk about the Karate Leaguer. As you can see, his strongest part is his armor, aka almost all of him. As a karate leaguer, Ryuuken was probably created with the intent of being able to take a lot of hits. There’s also the running joke of a member of another team attacking him with all their power and him not budging and saying something along the lines of “I feel nothing.” Strength wise, we get a taste of his crazy power is during his first spotlight episode where he was practicing kicking with Windy, to which he accidentally broke the stone wall surrounding the field. He then unlocks more of his power when rescuing Ruri from the factory, but we don’t see his real power until the Forced Retirment arc. There we got to see when going to rescue Magnum, Windy, and the Gold Bros how he opened a literal chasm into the ground with a single punch, though I can’t remember if it was rock, metal, or both, but that’s still pretty impressive, and that was before he unlocked his Heart Kit in the Death Football Arc which only increased his power. And then during the OVA when the Fighter Brothers try to fight Windy’s new team and they use their pitch, a pitch that nobody had been able to hit before, Ryuuken straight up punches it with seemingly no backlash and getting a home run all because they made him mad.….maybe it’s a good thing Ryuuken is so innocent and calm. Speed wise, Ryuuken seems to be on the slower side of the team, however I do think Ryuuken(alongside Juurouta) would have the best reflexes. This one is completely headcanon and I don’t have much proof, it just makes sense to me.

Next up, we have Bull Armor, a Football Leaguer. His armor and helmet are easily his strongest parts, for mostly obvious reasons. Multiple times throughout the series he is seen tanking blows that would normally knock another leaguer to the ground, most notably when he’s Silver Castle’s goalkeeper in soccer and catcher in baseball. However, his durability seems to be different from Ryuuken’s since he is still moved by the attacks but can bounce back from more. His durability seems to be pretty tied to his strength too since he is one of the only leaguers who has been shown to catch Magnum’s 44 Sonic. There’s also how when he was first introduced he stopped and lifted a truck much larger than himself with relative ease in order to stop it from hitting a young boy. His speed however is admittedly a bit harder to figure out. He seems to be much larger and heavier, however as shown when he lost control in his past he still has the ability to charge down opponents at a speed in which they can’t properly evade, though it’s up for debate whether they were trying to properly evade or trying to reason with him.

Juurouta, a Kendo Leaguer, is next. His durability is more basic compared to the others, mostly focusing around his Armor Armor(no that was not a typo). Said Armor Armor also seems to be protecting the joints which may or may not be intentional, but I’m going with it. His fins share the same logic with Magnum, as do his joints with everyone else. His strength mostly seems to be localized in his arms, which makes sense since he is a kendo leaguer. His strength was first shown in comparison to the others when he was the first person to hit Gold Arm’s Genocide Screw with a hit(discounting Bull since he technically kicked it). There’s also how in the Arctic he was able to cut down the  blizzard machine, however that spent all his energy. Speed wise I think he’s in a similar i boat to Ryuuken: slow overall, but incredible reflexes.

Now, Top Joy, a Basketball Leaguer, was a fun one to do for no reason more than I like the character. Strength wise, nothing very impressive, he show much. Durability though….it’s not the best. The only points that seemed to be able to hold up were his arms(sort of) and feet, and they’re less based on actual proof and more on logical thinking but I digress. Hand and arms because he’ll need to be able to catch balls thrown his way, but they’re still relatively weak compared to other members of Silver Castle. I highlighted his feet because they would probably be needed to make they don’t break once Top Joy lands after jumping high. If they were weak the repeated slamming into the ground would cause them to break and then Top Joy(and any other basketball leaguer) would be relatively stuck. But where I think Top Joy shines is his speed and maneuverability. As he has demonstrated many times throughout baseball and soccer games alike, his spring legs can be used in a variety of situations, from avoiding attacking players to catching balls that would normally be too far out of reach. And there’s also the possibility of using the force from the spring to propel himself faster when running, thought it’s unclear if he does this already. However, they are not without weakness. As shown in the episode with Gebara, they are easily damaged when seemingly a single coil is damaged and prevents him from walking without assistance from his teammates. There’s also his recording equipment and speakers which, while functional, seem like they would also be damaged rather easily since as someone who has worked with recording/video equipment, I am all too aware of how fragile it can be. Also another note, Top Joy also seems to have an incredibly high pain tolerance. When the members of Section X give him a warning shock with the shock circuit, he pleads with them and says how he “doesn’t like punishment,” implying this has happened before. There’s also his questionable relationship with his past team and much later in the Death Football Arc when he flat out says “I’m used to pain,” which in concerning to say the least.

And finally, last but most certainly not least, we have GZ, a Hockey Leaguer. Similar to Ryuuken, GZ has been shown to be incredibly powerful and being able to take a lot. There are three times where his power is shown. First is barely a day after he joins their team when he defends his teammates from attacks that would normally knock them off their feet(sans Ryuuken). The second time is when he’s babysitting the kids and survives an avalanche that took out another group of hockey(?) leaguers with barely a scratch. And then in the OVA where he’s able to deflect almost all of Garret’s dive bomb attacks without took much trouble. This is undoubtedly a combination of some hockey leaguers being incredibly defensive(like Thunderbolt) and his reformatting which led him to be a mercenary. We don’t seem too much from GZ in terms of strength, so I’m going to say he’s just a little weaker than Magnum. Speed though, that one was a bit hard to figure out. Main because of his boosters. His boosters give him an enormous speed boost, fast enough to get ahead of Garret who was literally flying and dive bombing, and on the ice without as much friction it only increases his speed. However, the few times we see him running, he seems to be slower than the other Silver Castle members, likely because of his weight and how he was meant for ice, not land. 

TL:DR, From most to least

Durability: GZ, Ryuuken, Bull Armor, Juurouta, Magnum, Windy, Top Joy

Strength: Ryuuken, Bull Armor, Juurouta, Magnum, GZ, Top Joy, Windy

Speed: GZ(with boosters/on ice), Windy, Top Joy, Magnum, Bull Armor, Ryuuken, Juurouta, GZ(running), but Juurouta and Ryuuken have the best reflexes

[pyroclastic727]

So You Want To Watch Star

but don’t know what episodes to watch!

That's completely understandable! Star is the type of show where the first season and a half feel like an entirely different show from the godsend that is the second half! So here's your guide on how to get to the good part.

On the fence? This show features an incredibly queer narrative told through straight people, along with showing the complexities of racism, classism, capitalism, privilege, and love, and how those tie together. It's heaven for people who love to analyze and learn from cartoons, as well as simps for healthy adorable romance. As a She Ra and Owl House fan...it's worth the watch.

My Rating Scale!

1 - You’ll probably feel better if you skip this.

2 - It’s okay. Won’t kill you to watch it, won’t kill you to skip this.

3 - You might get some seratonin. No promises tho.

4 - The Good Shit. Highly recommended.

5 - This is going to blow your fucking mind. 

6 - asdjfkshdks

S1E1 - Star Comes To Earth/Party With A Pony - 3. It’s bad but unfortunately you gotta watch the pilot.

S1E2 - Matchmaker / School Spirit - 1

S1E3 - Monster Arm / The Other Exchange Student - 2. 

S1E4 - Cheer Up Star / Quest Buy - 2

S1E5 - Diaz Family Vacation / Brittney’s Party - 1

S1E6 - Mewberty / Pixtopia - 2. Mewberty has an important plot point.

S1E7 - Lobster Claws / Sleep Spells - 1, 2. 

S1E8 - Blood Moon Ball / Fortune Cookies - 3, 2. BMB is plot-essential.

S1E9 - Freeze Day / Royal Pain - 2, 1

S1E10 - St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses - 3. Plot.

S1E11 - Mewnipendence Day / Banangic - 1, 2. Banangic’s ending is kinda cool if you like details.

S1E12 - Interdimensional Field Trip / Marco Grows a Beard - 2.

S1E13 - Storm the Castle - 3. Plot-essential.

S2E1 - My New Wand / Ludo in the Wild - 3. 

S2E2 - Mr Candle Cares / Red Belt - 2, 1. Fan service in the first one.

S2E3 - Star On Wheels / Fetch - 3. 

S2E4 - Star vs. Echo Creek / Wand To Wand - 3, 4. Introduces a main plot point.

S2E5 - Starstruck / Camping Trip - 2, 1.

S2E6 - Starsitting / On The Job - 1, 3. 

S2E7 - Goblin Dogs / By The Book - 1, 2

S2E8 - Game of Flags / Girls’ Day Out - 2, 1. Watch Game of Flags for the plot point.

S2E9 - Sleepover / Gift of the Card - 4, 3.

S2E10 - Friendenemies / Is Mystery - 4. 

S2E11 - Hungry Larry / Spider with a Top Hat - 1.

S2E12 - Into the Wand / Pizza Thing - 4, 1. Plot point.

S2E13 - Page Turner / Naysaya - 4.

S2E14 - Bon Bon the Birthday Clown - 5. This episode is the turning point in the whole series.

S2E15 - Raid The Cave / Trickstar - 4, 1.

S2E16 - Baby / Running With Scissors - 4, 3.

S2E17 - Mathmagic / The Bounce Lounge - 2, 1. 

S2E18 - Crystal Clear / The Hard Way - 3, 4.

S2E19 - Heinous / All Bets Are Off - 3, 1.

S2E20 - Collateral Damage / Just Friends - 1, 5.

S2E21 - Face The Music - 5.

S2E22 - Starcrushed - 5.

S3E1 - Return to Mewni/Moon The Undaunted - 4. Start of a movie.

S3E2 - Book Be Gone/Marco And The King - 4, 2 but you gotta watch it.

S3E3 - Puddle Defender/King Ludo - 5.

S3E4 - Toffee - 5. End of the movie.

S3E5 - Scent of a Hoodie/Rest In Pudding - 5.

S3E6 - Club Snubbed/Stranger Danger - 5. Rip shippers

S3E7 - Demoncism/Sophomore Slump - 5.

S3E8 - Lint Catcher/Trial By Squire - 5. Plot point.

S3E9 - Princess Turdina/Starfari - 5. Introduces plot.

S3E10 - Sweet Dreams/Lava Lake Beach - 5.

S3E11 - Death Peck/Ponymoniun - 1. I skipped.

S3E12 - Night Life/Deep Dive - 6.

S3E13 - Monster Bash - 5.

S3E14 - Stump Day/Holiday Spellcial - 4, 1.

S3E15 - The Bogbeast of Boggaba/Total Eclipsa the Moon - 2, 5.

S3E16 - Butterfly Trap/Ludo, Where Art Thou? - 5.

S3E17 - Is Another Mystery/Marco Jr. - 5, 3. Marco Jr. is disturbing.

S3E18 - Skooled/Booth Buddies - 5.

S3E19 - Bam Ui Pati/Tough Love - 1, 5.

S3E20 - Divide - 5.

S3E21 - Conquer - 5.

S4E1 - Butterfly Follies - 4.

S4E2 - Escape from the Pie Folk - 4.

S4E3 - Moon Remembers/Swim Suit - 5.

S4E4 - Ransomgram/Lake House Fever - 4, 5.

S4E5 - Yada Yada Berries/Down By The River - 5, 1. Watch the last 5 minutes of Down by the River.

S4E6 - The Pony Head Show/Surviving the Spiderbites - 4.

S4E7 - Out Of Business/Kelly's World - 4, 1. Only watch Kelly's World if you don't feel like crying at the sight of Kellco.

S4E8 - Curse of the Blood Moon - 5. Bring tissues xo

S4E9 - Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell/Ghost of Butterfly Castle - 5.

S4E10 - Cornball/Meteora's Lesson - 3, 5.

S4E11 - The Knight Shift/Queennapped! - 5, 1.

S4E12 - Junkin' Janna/A Spell With No Name - 5, 1.

S4E13 - A Boy and his DC-700XE/The Monster and the Queen - 5.

S4E14 - Cornoration - 5. No that's not a typo.

S4E15 - Doop Doop/Britta's Tacos - 5, 4.

S4E16 - Beach Day/Gone Baby Gone - 5. Starco shippers come get your food

S4E17 - Sad Teen Hotline/Jannanigans - 5. I would recommend watching this and the subsequent episodes all at once.

S4E18 - Mama Star/Ready Aim Fire - 6, 5.

S4E19 - The Right Way/Here To Help - 6, 7. Yes I broke my own scale deal with it.

S4E20 - Pizza Party/The Tavern At The End Of The Multiverse - 6.

S4E21 - Cleaved - 6.