#i complained about my parents to my sister and joked don’t you want to move back

[a-walking-fandom-reference]

damn the way one conversation can bring the whole mood down

[seasirengirl]

LEO VALDEZ DATING HCS

pairing: leo valdez x reader (godly parent not specified)

a/n: sorry for the super duper slow updates, my life has been a mess🫶🏼

ೀ friends to lovers is a trope owned by leo valdez and no one can change my mind

ೀ he’s such a shameless flirt

ೀ nicknames in spanish.

ೀ i repeat

ೀ nicknames in spanish.

ೀ he’s such a fun person to be around

ೀ always cracking jokes and all that

ೀ but

ೀ hold up

ೀ he doesn’t crack jokes at times when you don’t feel like hearing them, even though he’s known for doing that to others, you’re his exception

ೀ you two went everywhere together

ೀ quest? together

ೀ spending nights at bunker 9? not without you

ೀ he felt guilty for making you stay there though

ೀ but then you started ranting about how much you loved staying there

ೀ and he just couldn’t say no to you

ೀ or your pretty face

ೀ but we all know that you didn’t really think bunker 9 was the most comfortable place to sleep in

ೀ you just wanted to stay with your repair boy

ೀ after being two idiots who were very much in love but would never admit it

ೀ your friends got sick of it

ೀ y’know what that meaaannssss

ೀ at first percy and annabeth started talking about it

ೀ apparently piper and jason also had discussed it before (mostly piper)

ೀ frank and hazel are just there yknow

ೀ chilling

ೀ with no clue about what’s going on

ೀ anyway

ೀ doing very couple-ish things all together

ೀ there were eight of you.

ೀ obviously meaning that

ೀ you and leo had to be dragged into all of that

ೀ which neither of you complained about

ೀ but you wouldn’t say it

ೀ going on carnival dates <3

ೀ well they weren’t technically dates for you and leo

ೀ but they felt like dates

ೀ the other six ditched you every second

ೀ and you two still managed to be clueless

ೀ smh

ೀ honestly thank the gods for piper

ೀ when you AND leo both found out about your feelings at the same time

ೀ you were both ranting to her

ೀ cause she’s the daughter of aphrodite

ೀ ykyk

ೀ and also a great friend

ೀ but she needed a break atp

ೀ hearing both of you yap about each other not knowing that the other feels the same

ೀ until one day she had ENOUGH

ೀ bro was tired fr

ೀ so she decided to make both of you a bit jelly

ೀ not a bit tbh, a lot

ೀ yk, telling leo that the new guy from cabin 7 was talking about asking you out

ೀ or telling you that one of her sisters were going to make a move on leo at the bonfire tonight

ೀ leo couldn’t let some guy try to make a move on his girl

ೀ and you couldn’t either

ೀ so

ೀ both of you decided to confess at the same time

ೀ leo walked up to you just as you were about to find him

ೀ “can we go somewhere private?”

ೀ such a simple sentence left you speechless, only managing a nod

ೀ “i don’t want you to go out with him” leo blurted out

ೀ “with who?” you asked, did you have a date you forgot about?

ೀ “andrew, the new guy from 7?”

ೀ “i’m not going on a date with him, oh wait- piper...”

ೀ silence. total silence.

ೀ “i have something to-“

ೀ “i have to tell y-“

ೀ you couldn’t help but laugh at that, “go ahead.”

ೀ“i would say ‘ladies first’, but i have to say this, ever since i stepped a foot in camp, i’ve had a crush on you, so will you do the honors of being my girl?”

ೀ “i’d love to.”

ೀ “so would it be okay if i-“

ೀ “shut up, valdez”

ೀ and he did shut up, because his tongue was too busy being down your throat

ೀ ok what.

ೀ anyway

ೀ after that night, your friends wished they never set you two up

ೀ they were just jealous that you two were a better couple than them

ೀ or that’s what you thought

ೀ leo was actually the best boyfriend you could ask for

ೀ he would make you the coolest gifts ever

ೀ any kind of jewellery a girl could dream of

ೀ he made it

ೀ flowers that never die, all yours

ೀ honestly you can’t recall a night that you haven’t slept without leo in winter

ೀ slept.

ೀ he kept you so warm when it was cold out

ೀ cause he’s your fireboy

ೀ he’s so touchy and always has to have his arm around you somehow

ೀ but he wouldn’t be much of a pda guy

ೀ especially it it makes you uncomfortable.

[tenderleavesbob]

“I was raised by a tree,” Mask said. The others scoffed and told Mask to stop joking, but Link knew it had to be true. Mask was like Proxi. Mask didn’t lie. Not knowingly. Not deliberately.

“I don’t have parents,” Mask said, and Link knew that was true, too. Mask didn’t seem to understand what parents were.

“I’m okay on my own,” Mask said, and Link knew that was bullshit. The only time Mask could lie to Link was when he lied to himself.

Before the war, before the attack by Volga, before Link realized how many fantastic stories his grandma told him were actually true, Link had few expectations in life. He joined the military because they offered food and a safe place to sleep. He discovered that he liked it and decided it was something he could not only do but make a life out of doing. He never expected to gain any real rank or be recognized. Even as the other soldiers talked about their dreams about a wedding and a spouse and children with their eyes and eyes, Link couldn’t imagine anything like that for himself. His path seemed clear enough. Live by the sword, die by the sword, fight well enough for a good grave.

The moment Link saw Mask and Tune, his plans changed.

“I don’t need tucked in,” Mask complained as Link smoothed the blanket over him.

Not a lie. Mask didn’t need it. It didn’t change the fact that he liked it and wanted it. It didn’t change how he relaxed under the blanket and settled under Link’s hands.

“Maybe I need it,” Link retorted. Not a lie. “I like knowing you’re in one piece at the end of the day.”

While Mask stuck his tongue out at him, Link turned to Tune on his cot. Tune wasn’t like Mask. He could lie and merrily did, often with dramatic flair. Link tried to keep him away from Ravio as much as he could, with limited success. Tune didn’t have parents, either, and admitted that he couldn’t really remember them. He did have a loving grandmother, though, and a little sister he adored. He didn’t fuss when Link smoothed the blankets over him. He even tilted toward Link with a hopeful smile, and Link laughed when he kissed his forehead.

“What I need,” Tune declared with a bright grin, “is a bedtime story. We haven’t had one of those in a while.”

“You had one last night!” Link ruffled Tune’s hair and walked back to his small desk. Mask was on the way with a pout he didn’t have mere moments before. 

Mask didn’t need kisses, he claimed, and it was technically true. It didn’t stop Link from pausing long enough to kiss his forehead. He watched the tension drain from Mask’s small shoulders before continuing to his desk.

“Last night was a while ago,” Tune argued. “Hours ago, even! C’mon. A small story?”

Mask had also made it clear, multiple times, that he didn’t need stories. Link thought that was another instance where he lied to himself and to Link. Everyone needed stories, after all. Even as the stories of past heroes threatened to break Link, the stories with happy endings kept him moving forward day after day.

“Well, what story would you like?” Link asked. He shuffled through some letters on his desk, lit by a small lamp. Darkness had fallen hours ago. “About a Zora princess?”

“No!” Mask snapped, so quickly that both Link and Tune stared at him.

Link coughed and went back to his papers. His hands paused on a rough draft of a letter. The final draft was better. Sincere and apologetic without his own selfish grief pouring through. Link quietly crumpled it. “All right then. Hmmm. What about an ancient knight? One who flew in the skies?”

Something he once believed no more than a fantastic story, woven beautifully by his grandmother and painted by odd dreams. Now...

Mask mused on it, and Link and Tune waited for him to decide. Tune was happy with anything. Link thought he just liked oral stories. The cadence of them, the feeling of the words uniting everyone. 

There was a letter from Linkle. Link brushed his fingers over it. He received it yesterday but hadn’t had a chance to respond yet. She laughed at him and teased him. Whoever would have believed that Link would be the first one from their group to have children? her letter read.

Certainly not Link. That hole had always been inside of him, but Link thought it was small, mostly filled in by duty and his fellow soldiers. After Cia? After the Triforce appeared on his hand? After the sudden rise in rank and the terror of the weight on his shoulders and after old friends began drifting away, looking at him like they had never seen him before? That hole had seemed endless, threatening to swallow him.

Yet Tune and Mask had patched it so easily.

“All right,” Mask decided at last. “That’ll do.”

Tune didn’t need Link. Link knew that. Link took him into his care and protected him as much as he could from the horrors of war and ensured that he always had a safe harbor in this storm, but despite being young, Tune was steady. Tune was able to take what he needed and offered his own care in return. When this war was over, home waited for Tune with warm, loving arms.

“That’ll do,” Tune repeated with relish. Mask eyed him suspiciously, but Link noted he didn’t move from the warm cocoon of his blankets. He rarely did after Link tucked him in.

Link prayed to all of the Goddesses he knew that Mask had someone waiting for him in his era. Mask swore he didn’t need anyone, but Link recognized the shadows in Mask’s eyes. He knew what that awful, gnawing darkness felt like.

He hoped that being with Link alleviated some of that darkness for Mask like being with Mask did for Link.

“That’ll do,” LInk parroted with a grin. He turned away from Linkle’s letter. It could wait until after storytime. “Maybe years ago, before there was a Hyrule…”

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

I need help, my life is now a living hell. (TW suicide attempt mention)

I know this is gonna annoy a lot of you for bitching and whining again but as of late my life has been really hard. I had to sell my soul and my life to a demon against my will. There is a toxic parasite I want to cut ties with but can’t. I am talking about a toxic family member who has no respect for boundaries and loves to judge and be rude to everyone around her.

I just really need some help rn guys because at this rate it really feels like I can either endure and sacrifice my sanity for as long as she lives or I could only ever end it via suicide. I have tried to do it twice while she was down and my mother has to hide away medication so I don’t overdose and sharp things such as knives and scissors when her new favourite person ever, her karen on steroids sister is here.

To paint a picture there is a story about when I was a baby with my cousin and toxic aunt. My toxic aunt would use grandma ( her mother) as a slave whenever she came to visit her grandson. “Now that you’re here I want you to do EVERYTHING for him while I go and bitch and whine about coffee and ask to see managers (I’m not joking. She literally does that. Saw it multiple times when she stays with us.). Whilst my Mom would offer to do fun activities with her and us, like go to the beach, etc. Because of this she enjoyed our company more than my toxic aunt who threw a tantrum over it. “You love my sister’s daughters more than my son!”. She got so pissed that she moved out of our place during a vacation. Mother offered to have my cousin and grandma to play in the pool with me and my sister whilst she helped my toxic aunt pack. She EXPLODED over that! Why? Idk. She then stormed into the house screaming and it woke baby me up and I was sobbing. Dad got mad and told her to get out and we had nothing to do with her until grandma died.

She hasn’t changed at all. Very toxic, always complaining and saying horrible things behind our backs. I had multiple extreme meltdowns when she came. She stayed for four whole months last year. One summer, one spring, one for every season. She has this rule too where only she is allowed to talk, all she does to complain and she gets weirdly excited when someone else is struggling…she loves to happily talk about others misfortunes and then she finds no joy in going to the beach and going out for lunch. Instead she complains constantly and it ruins the whole day. Mother told me she says the most horrible things about me behind my back too…which gets her upset but she puts up with it because she is going through a divorce. We put up with her rude behaviour out of pity. I understand how hard getting divorced is but it shouldn’t excuse…whatever the fuck she is doing to us. Mother and I got into extreme arguments because of her as well and we rarely fight. My toxic aunt turns my parents against me. I’m freaking out because she is going to come down again.

Last time she claimed to be more respectful of our boundaries. “We don’t have to do something every day, I’m ok to hang out by myself every now and then.” Then she guilt trips us by saying “I don’t know why I bother coming down here if I’m going to be alone.” Over me wanting to spend ONE fucking weekend alone with my mom out of an ENTIRE month of her hovering around us and never shutting up. She also loves to interrupt. I would be in the middle of saying something and she cuts in as if I’m worth nothing! Then I can’t even say anything because she never shuts up ever! Then when I am blessed with a moment of talking (usually because mother says Izzy has something to say) I get nervous about saying something she will judge me for!

She belittles every trigger of mine too. Once I used to like this cafe and she has this huge obsession with their muffins. I don’t go there anymore though because some mean teenage girls work there now and they have been openly rude to me two times when I visited. So rude I ended up crying once. I didn’t want to go back (keep in mind I have been bullied a lot as well, I have a huge fear of mean girls) My aunt gave me this huge lecture about it and tried to force me to go in just so she can get her muffins. I felt completely shattered as she gave me a hard time over it. In the end mother figured out her angle and just dropped her off there whilst I waited in the car…for her to do that though about my own experiences and my triggers and not wanting to return to a cafe with rude service…it was just so insensitive.

She used to say rude things to me because of me displaying typical autistic traits like my weird eating habits and my special obsessions. Mother made her stop saying things to my face but she told me she just says judgemental things behind my back now and she gives me this god awful judgemental stare when we go out to eat…She also shows no respect for mental illnesses such as anxiety, saying it’s not real. She also once made fun of someone who committed suicide…which shows how she isn’t really a good person. She picks at Mom and gives her a hard time and openly judges her and says rude things to her and mother always bottles it and takes it out on me in the end because the one who HAD been rude to her is going through a divorce.

I never want to have to endure her abusive behaviour again but I’m completely powerless. I feel so hopeless. Idk what to do..

[tails89]

Been up all night (and the night before)

911 - 3.5k

His parents leave. There’s disappointment, sure. Buck had really thought that things were changing. He’d really thought that maybe, finally, his parents wanted to be around. There’s also relief, because he finally has his apartment to himself again. Finally it’s quiet. Finally he can sleep.

Finally posting my whumptober insomnia fic 😊

Read on ao3 or below

After the lightning strike, Buck can’t sleep.

While he’s still at the hospital, he blames it on the noise— the constant rhythmic beep of the heart monitor and the distant echo of alarms. The painkillers he’s on makes him groggy and nauseated, and he’s too uncomfortable to do more than doze in snatches between the next round of tests of vitals.

Buck lets his parents bundle him into their car, too tired to argue that he doesn’t need them to stay with him. It’s not worth the energy anyway. They’ll probably get sick of him soon enough. They always do.

Shuffling into the apartment, Buck lets Maddie nudge him towards the single armchair in the middle of the room.

“God, this apartment. Such a bachelor pad,” his mom laughs. “You don’t even have a couch. We’ll have to go shopping.”

The words are spoken like a joke but Buck can read between the lines. Notgoodenoughnotgoodenoughnotgoodenough. He nods along anyway, sagging against Maddie when she perches on the arm of the chair.

“Are you hungry?” his mom asks, poking her nose into his kitchen cupboards. “I’ll make you something.” 

“Not really.” 

“Mom, leave him alone.” Maddie runs her fingers through his hair just like she did when he was a kid. “Buck, why don’t you go upstairs and lie down for a while.”

Buck reaches for his sister's hand and gives it a grateful squeeze before slowly easing himself back out of the chair.

“You guys don’t have to say,” he says, his words falling on deaf ears. “I’m probably just going to sleep.”

“Nonsense,” his mom tuts at him, her hands on her waist. “We want to be here, Evan. Oh, I know. I’ll cook you something to eat when you wake up.”

“Uh—” Buck falters, unused to the attention. “Okay.” He glances at Maddie, eyes wide, begging for help.

“There’s a grocery store down the street,” Maddie says, picking up the hint and herding their parents towards the front door. “I’ll stay with Buck while you go get some things for lunch.” 

“That’s a wonderful idea, Maddie,” their mom collects her handbag from the counter. “Oh, Philip, we could look at furniture while we’re out.”

The door swings shut and Buck sags against the side of the armchair. 

‘Thank you.”

Maddie grins. “That will buy you at least an hour.”

Buck slowly shuffles over to the foot of their stairs. God, were they always that high?

“It’s not too late to come back to my place,” Maddie tells him gently. “Or Bobby’s, I know he offered. I bet Eddie offered too.”

They did, and Buck turned them all down. 

“I just want to sleep in my own bed, Maddie.”

“Okay.” She raises her hands in surrender. “But at least let me help you upstairs.”

It’s slow going, and Buck’s almost regretting his decision by the time he makes it to his bed. He’s out of breath, legs shaking from a trip he normally does without thinking, and he refuses to think about how he’s going to get back down again.

But that’s a problem for future Buck.

He doesn’t bother changing (he’s already wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt that may or may not actually belong to Eddie. He’s not sure how it got into his things but he’s not complaining) Buck just toes off his sneakers and sinks into bed.

After spending so much time in the hospital, his own bed feels heavenly. He can almost ignore all the other aches and pains that have followed him home.

Buck closes his eyes and lets himself drift. 

He can hear Maddie moving around downstairs. Outside, a siren echoes in the distance. 

A dog barks.

A car backfires.

Buck’s eyes shoot open. 

He’s not sure how long he lies there. At some point he hears his parents return, his mom’s voice echoing through the open plan apartment. There’s a scrape of furniture being dragged and more voices. 

Giving up on sleep, Buck reaches for his phone. The movement aggravates his aching ribs, the burning sensation helping chase away some of the grogginess. His hands shake— a lingering side effect of the strike— as he unlocks his phone to scroll through the recent notifications.

His phone chips as a new message comes through.

Eddie: Hope you’re settling in ok. Let me know if you need anything.

Buck hits the call icon before he can give himself the chance to overthink it.

“Hey.” Eddie’s voice is low and slightly tinny over the connection. “How’d everything go this morning?”

“It was fine,” Buck says, dragging a hand down his face. “I think Mom’s already redecorating the apartment.”

“She’s what?”

“She doesn’t like my furniture.” Buck drops his voice to a whisper to prevent being overheard.

“She doesn’t have to like it,” Eddie says. “It’s not her furniture.”

Eddie’s made no secret of the fact that he doesn’t like Buck’s parents. Buck doesn’t blame him. Eddie’s only seen the bed. They really seem to be trying though, doesn’t Buck owe it to them to give them a chance?

He can already imagine Eddie’s response to that.

Shifting, Buck tries to get comfortable. His meds are wearing off, and the ache in his ribs is beginning to thrum in time with his heart beat. It’s weird to think that for a long six minutes, his heart didn’t beat at all… so he doesn’t think about it.

“You still there?” Eddie asks, breaking the silence.

“Yeah.”

“How are you doing?” There’s a beat, then, “be honest.”

Buck sighs. “I’m tired.”

“Still not sleeping well?”

“Everything’s just— it’s a lot.” His dreams feel too real, but he doesn’t say that part out loud.

“The offer still stands,” Eddie says. “I can be there in twenty minutes.”

Buck smiles. Eddie lives a good half hour away.

“You think staying with you and Chris will be quieter?”

“Probably not.” Buck can hear the amusement in his voice. “But we promise not to rearrange your furniture. So…?”

Yes, he thinks.

“I can’t,” he says. 

Eddie’s quiet long enough that Buck has to check he hasn’t disconnected the calls.

“Okay,” Eddie says, finally. “But if you change your mind, call me.”

He ends the call and Buck can’t help but feel like he’s lost something.

-

His parents leave.

It doesn’t come as a surprise when they tell him two days after he’s out of the hospital that it’s time to go home. The surprise is that they lasted this long.

There’s disappointment, sure. Buck had really thought that things were changing. He’d really thought that maybe, finally, his parents wanted to be around. 

There’s also relief, because he finally has his apartment to himself again.

Finally it’s quiet.

Finally he can sleep.

Except that he doesn’t. Or, when he does, it’s in snatches, dreaming of those he couldn’t save. 

He spends his first night alone sleeping on the new couch. He’d tried to climb the stairs on his own and been so out of breath that he’d had to sit down halfway up. His legs had been shaking so bad he wasn’t sure he’d get himself down again. 

He doesn’t try the stairs again, resigning himself to spending at least a few days on the uncomfortable couch his mom had insisted on buying.

(He hasn’t been this grateful to have a downstairs toilet since he obliterated his leg.)

On top of that, people keep coming over.

It starts with Bobby. 

“Jeez, you’re supposed to look better when you get out of the hospital, kid,” Bobby remarks when Buck opens the door. “Not worse.”

“What are you doing here?” It comes out much harsher than intended but Buck doesn’t have the energy to correct himself. There’s a headache that’s been building behind his eyes since the early hours of the morning, and he’s so tired he can barely think straight let alone hold a conversation.

“I heard you were on your own.” Bobby steps past Buck to set his bags down in the kitchen. He turns to look Buck over. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? You only got out of the hospital a few days ago.”

“Yeah, well Maddie had to go back to work,” Buck shrugs, easing down onto a stool by the counter. Everything aches today, and he can’t remember if he took his meds this morning or if that hazy memory is from yesterday. All the days seem to blur into one.

“I thought your parents were staying with you.”

“They left.” Buck props his head on his hands, watching Bobby pull different ingredients from his bag. 

“What about appointments?” Bobby asks, frowning. “Don’t you have a bunch of follow-ups this week? You’re not cleared to drive.”

He’s not cleared for a lot of things. 

Can’t drive. Can’t exercise. Can’t sleep. God, he wants to sleep. 

“Uh—” Buck tears his eyes away from the little gathering of condiments to glance at Bobby. “Sorry, I missed—”

“When was the last time you slept?”

Buck frowns. 

“This morning?” He thinks it was this morning. “I had a nap.” And he’d woken gasping for breath, the ghost of his brother standing over him (“Spare parts and they were defective”).

“When was the last time you got proper, actual sleep, Buck?”

Buck scrubs a hand through his hair. The headache that had just been annoying before flares, bringing with it a wave of nausea that Buck swallows.

“What do you want me to tell you, Bobby?”

“The truth.” Bobby sets down his knife. “Asking for help is not a weakness. You don’t have to do this on your own.”

Buck’s eyes burn. “I’m fine.”

Bobby watches him for a long time as the silence stretches between them, and Buck shifts, fidgeting under the heavy weight of Bobby’s gaze (“Bobby Nash is dead”).

“This’ll probably take a while,” Bobby says, finally, and he nods towards the food he’s prepping. “Why don’t you take another nap while I make us some lunch.”

And like a coward, Buck takes the out. 

-

Buck goes through his days on autopilot. 

Maddie visits around her shifts. Hen and Chimney drop in. Buck spends more than one night picking at Bobby’s cooking. 

They fuss over him and he hates it. 

He turns down their offers of assistance and gets himself to his follow-up appointments where the cardiologist, pulmonologist and neurologist who all go on about how lucky he is to be alive and how well he’s continuing to improve. 

He’s breezing through the tests and no one suspects a thing—

“Before you go, I just wanted to ask, have you thought about talking to someone?”

“Uh—” Buck falters, the pathway between his mouth and his brain just completely shutting down. “I don’t— it’s not—” 

“What you went through was traumatic,” the cardiologist continues, “for anyone. And a lot of my patients find it really helpful in processing what happened.”

“I— I see stuff like this all the time,” Buck stammers. “I don’t—”

His doctor shrugs. “Seeing it is one thing, experiencing it is another thing entirely.”

“I’m fine.” Maybe if he says it enough times it’ll stick. I’mfineI’mfineI’mfine.

He escapes back out into the waiting room and pulls out his phone to call an UBER back to his apartment.

-

“Hey, wake up. We’re here.”

Buck digs his palms into his eyes until his vision goes white and the image behind his eyelids fades. Blinking to clear the spots, he stares out the window.

“This isn’t my place.”

“Well this is the address you gave me.”

Buck pulls his phone out of his pocket to check, and yeah, this is the address he’d booked the UBER for, but he doesn’t remember typing it.

“C’mon man, I can’t sit here all day.”

“Right, uh— sorry.” Buck climbs out of the car and makes the short walk up the driveway only to hesitate by the front door. 

This is stupid.

He should just call another UBER and go back to his apartment.

He should—

“Buck?” The door swings open. “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh—” he fidgets with the strings of his hoodie. “I didn’t mean to,” he starts. “I just— I didn’t—” Buck blows out a long breath. “Is your offer still open?”

“Always.” Eddie smiles, stepping aside so Buck can enter. “I’m just making lunch but you can hang out with Chris while I finish up.”

Wordlessly, Buck follows Eddie through to the living room on legs that suddenly feel shaky. 

“Hey Buck.” Chris glances up from the game he’s playing on the TV.

“Hey.” The word comes out in a choked breath because they’re here. They’re right here.

And logically, Buck knows they were never gone but every time he closes his eyes he hears the echoes of another life.

(“You’d be angry too if you lost your kid”.)

(“Can you help me find my dad?”)

“You wanna play?” Chris holds up the spare controller.

“Why don’t you put a movie on?” Eddie suggests, and Chris grumbles that he just started the campaign.

“s��fine.” Buck waves them both off, easing down into his usual spot on the couch and sighing as he sinks into the cushions. 

He lets his eyes fall closed, feeling the couch shift as Chris resumes his game and the soft footfalls of Eddie returning to the kitchen. The soft sounds wrap around him, comforting and familiar,  and it’s reassuring to know that Buck could call his name and Eddie would be there.

“Buck, come on. You can’t sleep here.”

There’s a hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake and Buck groans. God, he’d been so close.

“I know.” The hand on his shoulder skates down his arm, fingers curling around his wrist. “But your ribs will thank me later.”

The hand on his wrists tug, but Buck doesn’t want to move, he doesn’t want to wake from this new dream— he never dreams about Eddie anymore, he’s always gone. 

“I’m right here.” 

He’s on his feet and there’s a hand on the small of his back, guiding.  

“Sit.”

He’ll do anything to keep Eddie from disappearing again (“I’m not going anywhere”) so he sits, and his shoes are tugged off his feet. 

The sheets smell like Eddie.

“Good night Buck.”

Finally, Buck sleeps.

He doesn’t dream.

-

At one point Buck thinks he hears Eddie.

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s sick, he doesn’t have a fever.”

A hand sweeps across his forehead, and into his hair before retreating.

“Yeah, I don’t think he’s been sleeping.”

Buck doesn’t catch the response, already sinking back into the depths of sleep.

“Thanks Maddie. I’ll let you know.”

-

Buck has no idea where he is. 

He blinks up at the unfamiliar ceiling, mentally trying to retrace his steps but the last week is a blur of people and places— some real and some imagined.

He stretched, biting back a low groan. When was the last time he took his meds? 

Buck feels like he’s been hit by a bus, still groggy with sleep and aching from lying in the same position for so long. It would be so easy to just go back to sleep, but his bladder is demanding his attention so he eases up to look around the room.

Eddie’s room.

Oh.

The bathroom is his first stop on his slow shuffle out of the room. He’s finishing up, washing his hands in the sink when he catches his reflection in the mirror. 

He stands there for a long time, scrubbing at his face like he can rinse away the dark smudges beneath his eyes.

God, no wonder everyone keeps asking if he’s okay. 

With a long sigh, Buck lets his hands drop. It’s not like Eddie hasn’t already seen him at his worst— though this feels like a new low point.

He follows the sounds echoing down the hall to find Eddie in the kitchen, packing Chris’ lunch.

“I thought I heard you moving around,” Eddie says, looking up. “You sleep well?”

Nodding, Buck leans against the counter. “What time is it?”

“Uh, seven.” Eddie glances over at the clock on the wall. “You missed dinner, but I saved you some in the fridge.”

“I slept all afternoon?” 

“And some,” Eddie tells him. “You’ve been here since yesterday.”

“I slept a whole day?”

“You looked like you needed it.” Eddie sets down the sandwich he’s making to face Buck. “You still look like you need it.”

Buck lowers himself gingerly onto one of the bar stools. He can’t remember the last time he slept through the night, let alone an entire day.

“Maddie drops off some of your things. Meds, a change of clothes.”

“She did?”

“Yeah, hang on.”

Eddie leaves the kitchen, returning a moment later with a bottle that rattles as he sets it down on the counter.

“I’ll heat some leftovers so you’re not taking them on an empty stomach.”

Buck opens his mouth to say he’s not really hungry, but then his stomach rumbles and for the first time in days, he actually kind of is. 

Eddie sets the plate on the counter with a glass of water. He doesn’t hover, which Buck appreciates. He finishes packing Chris’ lunch and moves on to cleaning up the kitchen while Buck slowly eats.

It’s not until he’s finished and his plate is in the dishwasher that Eddie turns to Buck and asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Buck swallows and looks away. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

From the corner of his eye he watches Eddie nod and lean back against the sink, folding his arms across his chest.

“Last year,” Eddie starts slowly, like he’s choosing his words carefully, “when things got bad, I kept telling everyone - and myself - that I was fine. The worse things got, the more I pushed those feelings down until they had nowhere else to go.”

Buck can’t help himself. He glances up, looking right into Eddie’s watching gaze.

“And well, you saw how spectacularly that blew up.”

And Buck had been there for the fall out, spending days camped out on the couch in case Eddie or Chris needed him. He still gets chills remembering Chris’ panicked phone call, and the fear of not knowing what he might find on the other side of Eddie’s bedroom door.

And maybe, of all people, Eddie understands.

“You haven’t been okay for months,” Eddie continues. “Talk to me.”

Buck chews on his lip, his stomach churning. 

“Do you remember anything?” he asks, hiding his shaking hands in his lap. “From when you were shot?”

“Not really,” Eddie shrugs. “I remember going to work, going out to see that kid—“

“I remember all of it,” Buck cuts in. “I remember your blood on my face. I remember crawling under the truck and not knowing if you were alive. I remember you bleeding out and you were asking me if I was okay.” He laughs, still unable to believe it. “I remember thinking I was going to lose you.”

He wipes his face, surprised by the wetness on his hands. 

“You didn’t.”

“I didn’t,” Buck agrees. “But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about the what ifs. It doesn’t stop me from running the worst case scenarios over and over in my head.”

“Buck—”

“And I keep having this dream,” Buck tells him, the words spilling from him in a torrent that can’t be stopped. “Daniels alive, and Bobby’s dead and Maddie’s there but she’s still with Doug. And you—”

“Where am I?”

“You’re not in it.” Buck wipes his face again. “You just— you’re not there and you lost Chris and I— I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t save anyone.”

“Buck—“

“And I know it’s not real. I’m not that full of myself to think you’d have lost Chris if I hadn’t introduced you to Carla.” 

“Buck.” Eddie moves around the counter to stand directly in front of him, his hand on Buck’s shoulder, pulling him back from the brink. “I’m sorry.”

“I feel like I lose you every time I close my eyes.”

Eddie sighs, so close Buck can feel it in his hair. It sends a shiver down his spine. 

“I don’t remember being shot,” Eddie says. “But I’ll never forget the night you died.”

Buck’s next breath catches in his throat.

“And you did save us,” Eddie insists, crowding in closer. “You saved Chris in the tsunami. You saved me from myself and you were there when I needed you.” His voice drops low. “You were always there, and I didn’t even see it until I lost you for three minutes and seventeen seconds.”

“I came back.” Buck lets out a shuddering breath. “But I don’t know what to do next.”

“You keep living,” Eddie tells him softly. “But first, you take another nap.” Lips twitching, he reaches a hand to smooth away the dark smudges beneath Buck’s eyes. It feels nice and Buck finds himself leaning into the touch. “And then tomorrow we can figure out the rest.”

[anerdquemoraaolado]

More ranting about Avatar The Way of Water. SPOILERS AHEAD.

By my third time watching, I thought about that maybe the decision of doing so many things similar to the first one is to present the story for new audiences, especially people who didn’t watch the first movie. Don’t know if that was good, for me as a hardcore fan, it feels repetitive.

One of the good things, the learning montage is different from the first movie, I loved that one, with Jake’s narration and the energy of that and the passage of time, but in Way of Water, matching the movie’s feeling and message, things takes more time and calm to happen, you feel the struggle, wonder and evolution of the Sully kids and Jake, that’s a parallel I liked it, Jake learning to hide again, they missed the oportunity of a joke like “I’ve done this before”.

Speaking of learning montage, I have two theories of why they didn’t show Neytiri’s process in all of it, because she was there against her will at first, having trouble to adapt, and not wanting to abandon or forget her Omatcaya culture. The second one is that is implied that she did the same training but not that hard, like by the end, she just learns how to breathe underwater but still prefers the Omaticaya banshee ride, and not the Tsurak,

I loved the kids saving their parents by the end, after the parents saved them, it’s like the endless cicle of connection beetween the family. Noticed the parallel with Jake not breathing in the first movie.

I felt like the movie’s first cut was too big, lots of things were cut, like that scene before Tonowari warning Jake of the people protecting them, he and Neytiri are laughing about something, I need that full dialogue. Anyway, like for me, why is Quaritch persuing Jake and his family so hard, besides vengeance, is the RDA’s orders to kill the man who knows their operation from inside. 

Some people complained about Jake using guns, for me the explantion to that is he knows bows and arrows are not that efficient now, and he wants to use all the resources he has to defend the people.

Last thing at least, I cried in some unexpected moments. like scenes people wouldn’t cry but I connected to that personally.

The Sulllys leaving the Omaticaya tribe (missing scene of Mo���at and Neytiri saying their goodbyes). As a person who had to move from a place to other and left everything I knew behind, that hurt man. All their journey to reach the Metkayna place, really touched me.

I cried when the boys told Jake Aonung and Rotxo were making fun of Kiri, Jake’s expression was sad before asking Lo’ak to apologize. It’s like he’s thinking “those kids are outcasts because of me and there’s nothing I can really do about it, it’s a lifetime struggle to prove themselves as real Na’vi,”

Before I finish, the character that I really related to was Neteyam. I’m the older child too, so the feeling of responsability was accompany me and I always felt my little sister more troublemaker and carefree than me. I could realte even to Neteyam’s sense of humor, teasing and all that. Even joked to my dad that he could tell beetween the kids who was me and who was my sister lol.

Well, those are some of my thoughts, I hope I can watch it on the theaters at least one more time.

[signalwatch]

Dog Watch: Lassie (1994)

Watched:  07/13/2023

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  Second

Director:  Daniel Petrie

Like all good Gen-X'ers, I grew up in the aftershocks of the baby boomers, and Lassie - the very clever collie - was certainly a character and concept we knew of, if not through direct experience, then by osmosis.  I guess there was a book, originally (1940).  Our canine hero starred in wildly popular movies beginning in the 1940's (it's where Roddy McDowall got his start as a lad) and television - running for a cool 20 years, from 1954-1974.  Plus several more movies and TV shows over the years people who are not huge Lassie fans probably are unaware of.

I know!  That's a lot of Lassies.  

The artificial monoculture created via mass media and limited outlets did, at least, give us a chance to have some familiar talking points, and you never knew where they'd coalesce.  Personally, I didn't watch Lassie in reruns.  Or the movies.*  For most of us, Lassie was one or two jokes about kids falling down wells and dogs alerting us to calamity.  Maybe we whistled the theme song at our dogs.  

This 1994 film is more or less an original story, but if you know anything at all about Lassie from the TV show, etc... this movie carries on quite a bit of the world's bravest, smartest, wisest dog *and* best friend to a boy who needs one.  This dog seems like it's ready to pick locks and drive cars.  Three cheers for Lassie.

Our story:  

A family is moving from Baltimore (I suppose they heard Omar's coming) and to the - get this - home of the now deceased mom, a farmhouse in rural Virginia (it was shot in West Virginia, more on that in a bit). Dad has made the very, very wise choice to remarry in the form of Helen Slater, who is game for this move that - upon introspection - seems kinda weird and sad. The daughter/ sister is relentlessly cheerful in the way of movie characters who need to exist for color but who will not be impacting the plot.  

The son is, of course, roughly 12 or 13 and 90's-furious about being taken from the big city, complaining relentlessly while listening to Alice in Chains while skateboarding.  He's that "cool" 90's kid you'd seen in commercials and catalogs from which visions of Poochie sprang.  And allowed to mouth off to his parents in a way that would have gotten most kids in that era shot out of a canon.

Curiously, the 1950's Lassie show is diegetic to this show - something the younger sister watches - and lends its name to the Lassie of the film.  

Ok, so, Lassie in this movie is the beloved pet and working dog of a faceless sheep rancher who dies tragically at the start of the film and the family gawks as authorities haul off the body.  They then make off with the dog.  It is... weird.  But that's how they set up that this family has to do zero training with their thoroughbred dog no one noticed lurking around the accident scene (I guess fuck that guy's family, giving them something else to worry about).  But it also seems like *someone* would have come around saying "my uncle died and we can't find his dog".  

Here's the thing - this movie is *gorgeous*.  That's my primary memory of the movie from 30 years ago.  I couldn't really remember anything but "family moves to farm, there is a dog" and then sweeping scenery with rolling hills and beautiful trees and meadows.  The DP is Kenneth MacMillan, who was a veteran of the film industry, and recently shot Henry V.  By 1994, film stock itself was able to do an amazing job of capturing detail and color, and there's not much in the way of processed shots.  They're just letting the background do the heavy lifting.  I don't want to oversell it, but it's money well-spent in a movie that was probably imagined to be filmed on one of two ranches we've all seen a 1000 times before outside of LA.

Director Daniel Petrie was no slouch, either.  He wasn't a prestige director, but he did work on high-end TV movies and some feature films.

I sold Jamie on the film, describing it as "the gentlest movie you'll ever see". But, because that was because I didn't really remember the movie. The film includes genuine attempts at telling an actual all-ages story about a family living in the shadow of death that winds up pulling together and a boy who works through his grief. I won't say it's *because* of the dog - but Lassie certainly helps move the story along. Also, we borrow heavily from Shane and ranchers wanting their grazing land at any cost. Admittedly, this makes way less sense in 1990's Virginia than in remote spots in the 19th Century west. But there's also stuff like... wolf attacks.

It's also a reminder that pre-2000 family movies were pretty open about dysfunctional or complicated families, taking trauma at face value and the fact that bad shit happens is part of life, but not something to drown in.  It's something to overcome.  Maybe with your dog.  While fighting off wolves.

One thing Jamie pointed out was that these kids aren't... special.  They aren't the best at anything or a star or popular.  They're allowed to be "everyman" kids in a way that used to be SOP for kids stuff.  They have friction with their folks and their greatest concern is *not* disappointing the parents and their expectations of them (which I feel is the go-to these days).  Their parents are there and a focus, but they act as much as antagonist as ally.  Also:  Teens smoke.  Mom's die and kids grieve them with no therapy.  Dads move on and make huge life decisions for the family with minimal consulting of kids.  Kids are dumb about guns.   

That's not a call out of "we were right then, it's wrong now".  I just find it an interesting pivot.

I'm not going to sell this as anything but a movie that is better than you probably expect and better than it had to be.  The kid actors are not bad - this is the first film appearance of Michelle Williams!  The adults include Richard Farnsworth as the dead-Mom's dad and Frederic Forrest as the rancher next door.  I'm less familiar with John Tenney who played the dad.  But, of course, Helen Slater is lovely.

The dog itself is very well trained, and almost always nails what it's asked to do except maybe the one key thing dog trainers rarely figure out:  how to make the dog look like it cares at all about the actor who is supposed to be their best friend.  

Like, look, I live with dogs.  I know what it means to have a dog deeply focused on you, and the dog looking off camera stone-faced awaiting their next command ain't it.  Of course, I watched ten minutes of the recent Call of the Wild on cable, and a CGI dog acting like a cartoon ain't it, either.  But, man, if dogs acted crazy the way they do when they want to tell you they love you?  That would sell it.  Here, it makes the final scene a little...  underwhelming.

There remains a constant trickle of Lassie material, including a cartoon and live action movie out of Germany, I believe.  I guess American kids don't give a shit about dogs these days.  But - as you may have picked up on - I'm fascinated with how stuff that was popular for decades will quietly get consigned to the pop-culture dust bin.  From cowboy stuff to heroic dogs to Dick Tracy.

A quick Google search will tell you that the breeding of Lassies and who owns the idea and whatnot of Lassie and the pedigree is almost as messy as Rin-Tin-Tin, with a lot of dead URLs.  I can't quite figure out who owns the bloodline, but it looks like it's now an offshoot of the Rough Collie and registered with AKC?  But much like Rin-Tin-Tin, it's very confusing and I figure there's maybe a few hundred to a few thousand who know what the full story is at this point, and that ain't me.

I once saw a Lassie at the mall I worked at in Austin (Highland Mall, circa 1997) and had planned to stand in line to meet Lassie myself til I figured out it was at least an hour wait with moms and their young daughters.  I chose to not look like a psycho to the moms in line and just head on out.  And I regret it.  A nice, signed 8x10 from Lassie would have been nice.

All in all, I'd rather meet Helen Slater.  And now I'd ask her to sign my Lassie disc.

Also, did not have this on my "Lassie Research Bingo Card".

Apparently, according to what I read:  a strong maybe?

*I did watch a Rin-Tin-Tin show, briefly, on The Family Channel, but not the original movies or TV show

https://ift.tt/47OQBa8

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/bnuDdw1

[chi1d0fcain]

As someone who have literally witnessed this, your feelings are beyond valid. I love u so much. Preacher’s daughter and everything you have ever made mean so much to me and they are literal masterpieces. Honestly, i mostly like the jokes in hopes of them reaching a bigger audience simply because i love u and i h8 how rare it is to find ethel stans in real life who know the lore and obsesses over it as much as me. And sometimes one reel could be the spark that starts all that. Giving u more streams and hopefully more money to fund more projects and hopefully physicals because i NEED IT. Is that selfish? Probably. Does it come with negatives? Absolutely. Is it worth it? As a barb first and foremost I think it totally is. Nicki is such a perfect example. Because she decides how seriously to take us. And treats the fans as literal children when they go crazy yet we always feel like we can joke with her and always appreciate her genius work all together. I feel like it’s something that all public figures have to deal with once famous enough and cannot be avoided.

I can never understand how you personally feel about this from your pov, and all the comments u receive but i find its very important and healthy for u to just simply filter these unserious people out whenever youre not in the mood and like. Log off. Or move to a different platform like nicki with queen radio which was literally the point of these radio shows that have now become as simple as ig lives. Not everybody has the energy to keep up with those esp if theyre boring in the beginning or maybe just stick more to tumbler or alt accounts whenever u want to discuss your art and those who care WILL be there to give u every ounce of support. But honestly these jokes are just another way of showing support and love. To these people and meme pages this is charity and their way of helping u gain more global attention and success which we all believe you deserve because of the greatness of your art. Whether u agree or disagree. I really appreciate the new album title and hope it shoos away the unserious children. But it is what it is. While we who care about u most will take these rants very seriously, those same people you complained about wont even read it. So yeah. Try these things. When u see something blown out of context yell at us in a simple story. When u wanna get serious, simple address the fans seriously just like a parent does. This way u ensure control over the fandom and maintain mutual respect and support! Those of us who love u wont go no matter how much u cuss us out. So let your emotions out. And we will always try to make fame a more pleasant experience. But as we all know its a curse. That also comes with benefits. Not saying this just as a barb, but everybody envies the relationship we have with nicki. She was literally in the middle of the street with fans surrounding her and she was doing a better job than crowd control + cops. And i know you are as great and as capable of such things despite how difficult it may seem. Keep reminding yourself that you have all the power over us. You can punish us with delays reward us with surprises etc. this is literally what nicki does. Like actual. Kids. And when u do that, us real fans feel entitled to play the big sister role, and we start individually making sure the childish people who don’t appreciate your art stay in their place. I hope u get my point. I love u so much. I wish i could elaborate more but i fear i already wrote too much and i really want u to read it so i dont want it to be overwhelming even tho its very messy and all over the place and i suck at explaining myself i really hope you see where im cominh from as i can literally go on about this for hours. Really wish i could help more. U got this tho! Love u to the moon and back.

Sincerely, a fellow child of cain.

P.s. even after all this i WILL add that i STILL would d13 to get my hands on your entire discography even unreleased pressed on vinyl. Not because im not taking u seriously, but because this is sooo important to me and we feel like the more we ask the more demand the higher the chance of getting what we want! Again, if this bothers you, you MUST go the parent route. Address the subject. Say that youre working on it. Or not interested in it right now. Show us that you hear every single one of us and simply respond accordingly instead of bottling it up and let it get to u. I promise if u address the issue once twice and thrice u will feel it go away. I know that it can be overwhelming as im neurodivergent myself, but its the most effective way to tackle this and to make this a better experience for u. After all you are the head of the snake and u have all the power. Do not. Forget it. Most of us real fans would bend to your will so fast. U simply need to own it and believe that you deserve it. Which you absolutely do. Speaking from nothing but experience as a barb for more than 10 years, and someone who had a fanpage was friends with big fan pages and knew the owners personally and a recovering chronically online member of many fandoms. Trying to drastically limit my online time but id do anything to even attempt make u happier and try to be of help

Hello very much :)

I thought about making a video on this topic but I decided to just write it out in a post instead. Either way, I'd like to speak a bit more specifically about a drunk rant I made on a separate account the other day that was not as well put together as I'd like to stand as my viewpoints on the subject.

tl:dr, I just feel as though there's a lack of sincerity in the world these days. I speak from personal experience as an artist putting things out into the world, yes, but also as a human being interacting with other human beings on the regular, and I have had my sentiments echoed by many other friends of mine over the past year or so, both artists and non-artists alike. Most of this will be framed through the consumption of art, because that's my own personal passion in this life of mine, but also the way we interface with each other and process the world around us. Now, don't get me wrong, I love to laugh. I love a good joke, and I love lightheartedness as much as the next person. But I saw someone this morning put it very succinctly in response to my rant, something along the lines of "don't let the joke about it overtake the source material." It feels as though it's a common occurrence these days to take a pinch of something with a lot more weight to it, often a humorous bit, and then run with it. Everyone then gathers around the pinch to ooh and ahh and consume it as a whole. Context is immediately lost, the legacy of that body of work becomes its own caricature, and anyone discovering that body of work via said caricature may forgo a piece of art they would otherwise love because "there's nothing there". And don't think this is me griping at those making jokes at the expense of my art. I make jokes about my own art. But when the joke dies, yet continues to grow, and spread, and finds its way back to me both on the internet and off for months (or, God forbid, years) to come, I can't help but say to myself; what the fuck is happening. Artists have fled the public and all their outlets for personality and expression outside the medium because they feel ridiculed. It's not even just their art. Katya comes to mind, speaking on how she went on youtube live a few years back in literal tears talking about police brutality and the injustices marginalized communities were facing at the hands of the government. Meanwhile, the entire comment section "yass" and "mother"ed her in barrages, not paying attention to anything she had to say. I get asked about when I'm dropping Preacher's Daughter vinyl en masse in response to my Palestine fundraiser links. It's everywhere and it's inescapable. No one can be serious for even two seconds.

This may all sound obnoxious; so be it. I tie strings from this central problem to many other complaints I have heard repeated ad nauseam the past few years. For example; the death of subculture. Goth, punk, whatever, you name it. People who built an underground counterculture movement with a rich history based on a love of art, community, and otherwise misunderstood worldviews and experiences deemed foul or inappropriate. Now we see bits taken from it, the terms and the looks, without any of the meat, spread thin across society as a whole. Words mean nothing anymore. One can rest on history and say they were a part of it when in fact, they did nothing. No appreciation or understanding to be had for the love and passion that built it. No serious interaction with the culture's very real confines and boundaries, just mindless co-opting. This has just as much to do with late stage capitalism as it does with excessive humor in lieu of sincerity, but it's certainly both. Again, this may sound like a silly complaint, but I don't care. The collective ennui we're all experiencing has a very real reason, whether we're ready to acknowledge or not.

In a twisted thread, it's even tied to our lack of care to change the world around us. People cheer on the idea of communism, but who among us is ready to give up the convenience of society as it stands? Amazon prime, doordash, fresh fruit out of season as I saw someone mention in a similar post last week; the marvels of modern technology. Do we really think these things can last in a society that isn't actively destroying the planet? We talk about the idea of something all day long but have very little to do with the actuality of what we're talking about. And don't think I consider myself exempt from this problem. I couldn't even try to claim to be. It seems nearly silly to be complaining, then, about the way people consume the art around them these days as we creep towards what feels like the end of days. But as long as I still draw breath, I must complain.

I miss genuine passion. As an autistic individual, when I'm alone, sometimes I cannot contain myself with how things make me feel. The music I listen to, the video games I play, the books I read. I almost feel the need to run through the house and scream in everyone's face how I'm feeling. It feels good to love intensely. Now, I won't pretend like autistic people haven't been bullied for this since the dawn of time, but there is surely a noticeable lack of passion in everything these days. Everyone can feel it, everyone is talking about it. Everything now is "cringe", or "doing too much", or "not that serious". Actually, it is that serious. Insecurity in one's own deeper feelings may not be a new thing, but a culture that seems to promote this eschewing of them does seem to be a new evil. The tone of the internet has completely shifted. I spent most of my time here when I first discovered it a little over a decade ago on Zelda forums and other chat-based websites, talking about how much I loved whatever fandom I was in at the time and having genuine and memorable interactions with like-minded individuals who felt the same way I do. Now, you have two options; if you hate media, you rip it to shreds, and if you love it, you word-salad it to death and parrot a joke about it that someone else said. I'm not saying people don't still talk seriously in a heartfelt way about the things they love, but it does not seem to be the initial reaction anymore. Do I have a solution to this problem? Of course not. I'm a 26 year old girl posting on a tumblr blog. If I had a solution, this is not where I would be dropping it. But conversation is God to man, and I believe in the ability to change things from the inside out. We make the rules, and we can change them.

Before I go, I'd like to just clarify that I am very grateful for my career, grateful to anyone who has ever given me and my art the time of day, grateful to anyone who has ever come up to me and connected with me over my work, and grateful for a life where someone making too many jokes is the worst part of my day. I do not think I am better nor smarter than anyone on or off the internet. I am simply a girl with big feelings and I enjoy talking about them with other people with big feelings, and it makes me sad when something avoidable or unnecessary gets in the way of that.

All in all, I love to love, and I love all of you, I love my life, I love this record, and mi amore vo- i mean.... oh, whatever.

(Feel free to sound off in the comments and please be nice to each other)

[spookyrobbins]

you know what would be very interesting to see, in a world where mark didn't die and calzona decided to have another baby, how possessive mark would become of sofia. if he'd try to turn sofia against her mothers. how would calzona deal with that whole mess

okay so this is one of my favorite aus to mess around with bc lbr mark would not take it well.

like for ease, let’s say this is a no plane crash au. so s8 calzona who are very comfortable and domestic and everything and fairly untraumatized. and mark who’s still very much around and everything but things just never work with lexie and he has julia but most of his life is very much reliant on calzona (and sofia living across the hall)

now sofia turns 1 around the end of s8 and i personally think neither of calzona but especially arizona would want sofia to be an only child. and callie especially wouldn’t want there to be a huge gap between the kids bc she had that with her sister and they weren’t close. and given that they’d go an ivf route (based on s9), that can take time so i think end of s8 into s9 would be when they’d start talking about it and planning etc.

mark would take it so badly. even just the idea of calzona having a second baby would probably set him off. bc that’s going to change things. if they have another kid, they’ll be even more of a family without him. he’ll be left behind. mark would start complaining early, like as soon as he found out they were thinking about it which would probably be quickly bc callie tells him basically everything. it’d start with sort of sharp edged jokes about how they’re replacing him and sofia and why do they need another kid when they’ve already got such a perfect one.

and it’d just descend from there. mark trying to be involved again and how they’re all a family and he’s sofias dad. in a strange way, i think this would actually push callie to have some boundaries bc it’d be so glaring that he’s out of line. especially if (and it’s the most likely option at this stage) arizonas the one who’s pregnant. bc i honestly don’t think arizona would be as tolerant towards mark if she was pregnant. doubly so if mark tried to be involved at all.

the other important part to consider is the living situation. part of the reason s8 calzona and mark are able to coparent so well is that they live across the hall from each other and they can pass sofia back and forth easily and they can split everything pretty easily. but calzona are in a two bed, that’s not going to work with a baby. sort of two options - either they get a bigger apartment in their building or they get a house. sure the apartment is super close to the hospital, but neither of them really need to be rushing to the hospital to beat other people to surgeries like when callie and cristina moved in. and meredith lives in a nice residential neighborhood that’s only ten minutes away (plus good or bad, somehow everything in seattle is 15-20 minutes away). and arizona in particular i think would want a home for their family after she moved around so much.

once again, mark would not take this well. like he’d accuse of them of trying to take sofia away and pushing him out. because calzona moving out of the apartment building would probably make a more formalized, maintained schedule for sofia necessary and it could very well happen where calzona maybe have sofia more days a week bc it’s simply easier since there’s two of them.

now let’s fast forward a bit, sofia’s three, there’s a newborn, calzona are a perfectly happy family in a house with a yard. and mark’s a single dad in an apartment who’s probably never going to be with lexie.

regardless of calzona having another kid, i think mark would always try to “outdo” them and be the “fun dad” and let calzona be the more strict, structured parents. and while it might be cute when sofias a baby, it’ll become significantly less cute as sofia grows up. mark would spoil her and undercut calzona quite a bit and anytime calzona say no to something he’d say yes. and i think the odds are, it’d result in sofia being pretty spoiled and obnoxious in always running to mark whenever there are things she wants.

i also think mark would do the sort of underhanded comments about calzona, mainly aruzona, all the time. so sofia would always have that in her ear and marks more fun and he lets her do everything and he doesn’t have an annoying little sibling in his apartment. like there could totally be a situation where sofia says she wants to live with mark full time even as early as like idk age 10?

i think there is a possibility that calzona having a second kid could be the end of mark and callie and their weirdness. marks just too possessive and insecure about the idea of his family. and i think that also would be the point where arizona would put her foot down

[ele-sme]

“In my delulu era” expect i been in this era since the moment i was born, growing up without friends. At some point in my early years of life, (and im not talking about 7 or 8 im talking about 2 or 3) i must have thinked “people likes good children who are always nice and being cute” so here I'm a 15-year-old girl who has been a people pleasure all her life. I forgive anyone since i can remember, my first best friend? was embarrassed of me and would tell our other classmates i was her friend always leaving me alone during break. My sisters? both dicks, we are so not meant for each other all 3 of us have another personality all 3 of us hating the others one. My parents? My dad a old man who decided he wanted another couple of children at 40+ who is not a bad idea but since the relationships with the other two aren't great maybe you should have thinked twice last week he beated up my younger sister, MY BABY SISTER and i just watch without saying anything, i don't even know if i want to stay with him anymore, which is crazy because he is my daddy my hero and i can't do anything if not hate me for thinking this, my mom a woman who had children late in life, living her youth and I'm like great good for you mom but then i learn she lefted her boyfriend of ten years because his dad died and he was distant for six months, okay but what else? Or yes! at march i had a fever 40 Celsius i reapt 40 FUCKING CELSIUS and she kepted complain about her pains, MOM YOU ARE 53 IS OBLIUS YOU BACK HURT. My best friend, i know this man for now 4 years and Wanna know what he talled me when i telled what my father did? “Until 40 years ago people everyone were doing it then it become strange” i can't even stand enter our chat. my other friend, i know her only for 9 months but she gotta be the most self centerd girl i ever knew, she never asked about me but when i talled her she started she gotten mad at me for not coming when i had the fever at march, she did not come to my birthday party because the guy who she has a crush had a game, fun fuct?she never talked to him and she had this crush for 2 years, whiteout taliking, she likes him only because of his appearance for all she can know he can be the most sexist man alive but still she preferred to go to his game. My grandmother, i don't know i fuck about my grandmother, she love me and my sister but she never calls we need to call her, i didn't call her and im didn't hear from her in a month, don't get me wrong i love her but jeez grandma you can call sometimes i don't need to always do it. All my fucking EVER classmates from the kindergarten to high school fuck you all, i tried be your friends elementary but i was a strange kid for your standards so alone, all day until i gotten home which i was alone again. To my kindergarten friends i loved you guys but why no one asked me ever to go to your home? Why when Lucrezia maded jokes on me you guys were laughing? I'm fat, i know it im always has been hope not always gotta be but at this point i don't care. to my middle school classmates i never been in more of a toxic place but at least you were my friends, if you aren't understanding i maded friendship with THE BOYZ, yup really stupid of me. to my high school classmates, school is ending and i never tried so hard to make friends but none of you even tried and im honestly tired i just would like someone to ask to go with me Friday night to do something instead of being home all day, and to my new classmates fuck you girls, i been nice since day one to you, i complimented  your clothes and your hair, were the first to welcome you in the class and now you all joking on me behind my back well you girls know what?fuck you, hope you parents change you of schools and you go through what you making me. I'm tired to be the people pleases, the one who is nice, the boring person in the room, im fun i swear i simple can't act with people who i don't know well close i want you guys to make a move for me not i doing all the moves to win this fucking game, i want to give my first fucking kiss, i want i guy who i can kiss in all the way i want to and i don't want to wait until im 18 to do so thanks to a site or a app, i want to get drunk i want to go clubbing all night even if i don't like it. i want many and i mean many friends, i want a high school sweetheart i don't want what I'm having now, i don't deserve this I DESERVE BETTER.

sorry guys for this post i just needed to let go of something, it actually helped me so yay

[hannah-bannana444]

let me let everything out into the open, I never cheated on you. I promise you that, I promise the world that. I know how it appears, you break up with me and then all a sudden you see pictures of someone else, yeah I get how it looks. I wish I had to chance to explain it in person to you, it was a rouse to make you jealous to make you feel like shit about hurting me. I had known you were planning on breaking up with me for awhile maybe i was overthinking for weeks and it was wrong but I have the screenshots I sent to my mom and Erin about it, and no I didn’t cheat on you and use the excuse that you were going to break up with me. That’s nothing I ever did, at this point I would admit if I cheated on you, I know there’s never ever going to be a time we are back together and I know I’ll never see or speak to you again and I truly don’t care how I look to the public so I would admit if I cheated on you. I didn’t. I was more in love with you, Sean then I have been in my entire life and I know I’ll never feel that way again. When you broke up with me I lost something in me that day, I don’t know how to explain it but I wanted to mask my pain and die. I was afraid of loving you again. There’s some previous things that hurt me beyond words and I froze and wanted to ice you out of my mind so I did everything I could to protect my heart, by hurting yours. I regret it all, I can’t even imagine what you are thinking by now. Probably not much of me, I remember how there was a nice in the car we were going left onto 19 from gulf to bay and I was complaining of back pain and my boobs hurting and I knew it was my period coming but you said jokingly “maybe you’re pregnant.” Then you proceeded to say “it would be a fall down the stairs if you were.” I obviously knew that was a joke, I didn’t once take it as a threat but it hurt me bad because in the beginning of the relationship you said if an accident happened we’d keep it, and having a child is something I want eventually. It’s something I wanted with you. Not because I have the feminine urge to become pregnant but because I think we would’ve made amazing parents together, I wanted a family with you. We looked for apartments once and never did it again, no matter how desperately I needed to move out. I offered to pay the initial down payment with the accident payout but I don’t think moving in with me is something you wanted. I’m crying while writing this, I remember the week before the breakup I was so excited to see you and we had to go check on your sister because she had your moms car and I saw gabby on your recent’s for 2 days in a row, it hurt so bad because you promised you’d let me know if she contacted you. I remember the massage said “That’s so cool!” But I don’t know who sent it, but it fucking hurt. There was a time you were meeting up with Ryan and you guys went to pks, I live 5 minutes from there and going to arcades was our thing and you didn’t invite me, I sat in my room that night on FaceTime with Erin waiting for you to get home and call me, that was one of the last times you fell asleep on the phone with me. You’d always hangup the phone when you fall asleep talking to me. I’d wake up and I’d usually text you good morning first even though I knew you were already awake, you were the only person I loved after my abusive relationship so it was hard detecting what was normal and what seemed out of place. One of the most hard times on me was when you were at Shaka and quit outback, the night in the car when you asked if it was okay you calling Sean and you said you’d try and do anything to make me happy and you’d only work some days and not headwait and work something out where you have a set day off every week to spend with me, we were dropping off an instacart order when this conversation was taking place, we got to the Publix parking lot and that’s when I asked you if having a relationship was too much for you to handle right now and you shook your head yes, that’s when I uncontrollably started shaking and crying. I felt since that moment that you didn’t want to be

[chippedaxe]

stepbro george smut 🤤 if u could do hard dom george with fem reader?

˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚

Title: 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝓅𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝑔𝑒𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒

Warnings: NSFW! (Minors DNI), coarse language, sub reader, hard dom, stepcest, degrading, teasing, masturbation, slapping, voyeurism, (unedited)

Pronouns: she/her AFAB

Synopsis: You and George are left alone at home which causes you to become bored and restless, you then bother George with your boredom.

Word count: 1.6k

Note: I'll try to write this the best I can, I don't rlly know how to write hard dom george but I'll try! Thank you for the request <3

* Let me know if there are any warnings or any other things to change !!

Welcome 🧝🏽‍♀️ anon btw!

*My emojis updates since I took that photo so now the emoji looks different

˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚˙༓࿇༓˙˚

Your eyes shifted to stare at your stepbrother George, you then quickly glanced away when he looked over at you. You heard him scoff a bit before he walked away, the heat rose to your cheeks and made you blush. You were sitting on the couch watching the TV and zoning out but stopped when you heard your parents at the door "We're leaving to stay at your aunts for the weekend! George is in charge of the house!" you had barely caught on to what they were saying as they had just suddenly left.

"George?" you called out to him just as your parents had left "yeah, what?" he came down the stairs "Why're our parents leaving?" you asked "didn't you listen to them? They're staying over with our aunt" George rolled his eyes at you "No yeah- I got that, but why?" you turned around on the couch so you two were now face to face "They left because you were annoying them too much" George snickered "Hey! That's mean- Why're they really leaving??" you got up from the couch.

George shrugged and started walking off "Don't be an asshole!" you crossed your arms and pouted "An asshole? Me? Never! I'm one of the kindest guys you'll ever meet, and I know you won't meet many but that's not the point" he teased you "HEY! What's that supposed to mean?" you followed him up the stairs "What? I'm just saying the truth!" George slipped into his bedroom and tried to get away from you, you groaned as he shut the door on you and went into your own room.

'George is an idiot, he keeps teasing me' you thought to yourself as you laid down on the bed, you tossed around in your sheets as you were becoming restless and bored. "I'm so BORED" you groaned out in boredom, your hands pulling at your face in agony "ughhhhh" you made random noises to try and satisfy your boredom "Hey- do you mind not being annoying?" George opened your door "I'm so bored though!" you exclaimed "Yeah well go and do something then, stop bothering me about it!" George went to slam your door but you stopped him "Why don't you hang out with me or something??" you suggested.

"Because you're just my dumb little sister" George walked off "C'mon! We can play a game or something!" you were desperately trying to satisfy your boredom "Why don't you just go on your phone like a normal person?" George left you alone once again. You slumped down onto the floor and held your head in your hands "Why's he always gotta be so difficult?" you huffed in annoyance, you take your phone out and decide to bother George over the internet.

You called him a bunch of times until he picked up "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT??" he screamed into the phone "I'm bored! Why don't you just hang out with meeeee?" you asked "because then you'll just complain the whole time!" George hung up but you repeatedly kept calling him "I'm literally so close to blocking you!" George sighed "We could play one of your video games??" you smiled as you thought he might finally agree to do something with you "I am not gonna let you touch my shit, just go touch yourself or something, I don't fucking know" he hung up again.

You blushed at his suggestion 'Touch myself? I can't believe he suggested that! He's a gross pervert!' you thought to yourself but your hand was ironically already subtly making its way down between your legs. His suggestion couldn't hurt and it was an easy way to pass sometime and cure your boredom, you had to be quiet though, George's room was literally right next to yours and you'd be embarrassed to hell if he heard you.

You pulled down your pants so they were hanging around your thighs and then you proceeded to rub yourself down there, you moaned quietly but then had to quickly shut yourself up. You leaned over on the bed and positioned yourself so your face was buried in the blankets and your fingers were rubbing at your sore clit, you were huffing and puffing into the sheets.

Your fingers slipped inside and you let out a small gasp, you moved your other hand to cover your mouth. Your eyes closed as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to releasing, your orgasm already approaching hastily, you didn't know that anyone was there watching you until you heard a clear coughing noise "Having fun?" you blushed all over. You slowly moved your hands and looked up at George "h-hey.." you gulped nervously, you stupid girl- why didn't you lock the door?!

"That looked fun, why'd you stop?" He crossed his arms over and looked down at you "B- Because you're watching me.." you whispered "If you didn't want my attention then you should've been more quiet. Fucking yourself right next to my bedroom? Naughty girl" George smirked "I- I-.." You tried to speak up but he didn't let you "Keep going" He ordered you. You meekly listened and started to touch yourself again "There's no use in hiding your voice, our parents are gone and I'm already here" George told you.

You let out a choked moan, you glanced away from George as his eyes were on you "Didn't know my sister was such a whore.. Getting off because I told you to, aren't you?" George teased, you nodded shyly "I knew it. Are you thinking about me while you do it?" He leaned in closer to breath hot hair onto your ear. You shiver from his warm breath "m- maybe.." you answer him "maybe isn't good enough, doll" George crawls on top of you and pins you to the bed.

You pull your hand away from your crotch and you try to back up a bit "Are you tryna run away? Just let me know now if you want me to leave" George gave you a way to back out but you rejected it "Fine with me, c'mere.." He leaned in and kissed your lips. You kissed him back gently, you were still half stunned that your stepbrother was here doing this to you. You pulled away quickly "G-George! You're my stepbrother!" you exclaimed "Yeah, you just realize that now?" George laughed and pulled you back in again.

"Come on, don't use me like this, you don't even like me!" you pushed him away "Who says I don't like you? I might tease you and you might annoy me but that's just regular sibling things, right?" George had a point "Is that all you think of me? Your sister?" he shakes his head "During the day I do, but at night-" He didn't finish his sentence as he captured your lips in another kiss.

You closed your eyes and kissed him back, your hands running through his hair as you two kiss. George pulled away for a bit of air and then started to roughly kiss at your neck "fuck.." you gasped "D- don't leave any marks!" you warned him "And if I do? Just put some makeup on" George bit down on your neck "ah!" you moaned from his little actions.

"Did you stretch yourself earlier?" George started to unbuckle his belt, you nodded and opened your legs to show your aching hole "You're such a slutty sister.." George bit his lip as he zipped down his pants and positioned himself at your entrance, he slowly slid in and you let out a loud groan "ahhhhh fuckkkkk.." you threw your head back.

He grunted as he started to thrust inside of you, his cock felt huge inside of you, the tip of his dick was hitting every part inside of you and it felt amazing! You held onto his arms and dug your nails into his shoulders "S-shit!" you swallowed down another moan "Damn, you gonna cum already?" George teased you. He started to buck his hips even faster, his free hand was bruising your hip while the other one was clamped around your neck and holding your head up to look at him.

"Cum for me, cum for your fucking stepbrother" he slapped you across the face which left a tingle on your skin. You came just after he had slapped you, your pussy clenched around him and he groaned loudly "oh fuck-" he didn't mean to but he ended up cumming inside of you after you had an orgasm. You laid down on the bed and tried to catch your breath, George sighed and left the room to grab a washcloth.

He started to clean your insides, his hand sliding inside of you just to clean the cum out "Ow!" you winced "Sorry Y/n.." he whispered "What're you being so nice to me now for?" you asked "I'm your brother, I can still be nice and an annoying dickhead" he smiled up at you. "What'd you slap me for by the way? Now my cheek hurts.." you whined "to knock some sense into you" George joked around "asshole."

[midnightstar-90]

2-in-1

Masterlist | Taglist | Request

Dave Lizewski x Reader | Todd Haynes x Sister!Reader

Summary: You’re Todd’s popular little sister, and you like one of his not-so-popular friends. What happens when a couple of words leaves the two on non-speaking terms?

Warnings: Language! (“Is anyone gonna deal with the fact that Cap just said “language”?”) Get it? A superhero joke for a story based on a superhero.

A/N: It’s the Evan Peters version of Todd. I just love Evan, so that's how I imagined it. If you want to picture Augustus, you can. There are no rules here. Make it your own.

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Todd and Marty were both standing around Dave as he grabbed his books for his next class. When he finished grabbing his Chemistry textbook, he slammed his locker door shut. They start walking to class, but not without a little chit-chat.

“So, you guys down for Atomic Comics this weekend?” Dave asked his two best friends. Ever since the boys met each other, they’ve always loved comics. They would be able to tell you the exact comic from one line if you asked.

“Yeah, I’m down,” Marty said with a shrug of his shoulders. Dave nodded at his response before both of them turned their head to Todd.

“My sister is grounded, so I have to make sure my sister doesn't invite anyone over this weekend. My parents are going out of town. If I went she would have to go,” Todd contemplated his options. You don’t like superheroes as much as Todd, so you’d probably complain. And if they go to Todd’s house, he’d be spending his time making sure you aren’t doing things you’re not supposed to.

“We-“ Dave couldn’t even finish his sentence before a herd of people crowded around the hallway. “What’s going on over there?” Marty asked in confusion. Todd and Dave looked towards the mob. Every day, since Y/N started school, kids would crowd around her like she was a celebrity. She could get things done at the speed of light. She once threw a party at the last minute, and it ended up in a magazine.

They stood, watching as the mob of people started to disperse. They moved a little closer to see Katie and her friend, but also Y/N. Y/N looked to be handing out a flyer. Todd quickly walked over and took the flyer from his sister’s hand.

“Y/N, you’re grounded. You know you can’t do anything when you're grounded,” Todd yelled at his little sister. Y/N rolled her eyes before they landed on Dave. She stared at Dave with admiration in her eyes.

She continued to look at Dave as she spoke, “Mom and Dad said no one in the house, but they said nothing about going out. Here, take a flyer. If you want to hang with the cool kids, you’ll go.”

She tried to walk off before Todd grabbed her arm, snatching all the flyers from her hands. “Call it off, Y/N. What happens when pictures end up online? If mom and dad see them, we’re both going down. So, how about you go to Atomic Comics with me and the boys, and I won’t tell mom about her favorite dress that mysteriously ripped,” Todd said with a smirk.

Y/N looked at her brother furiously. “Fine, but only if you let me sit by Dave,” she whispered to her brother, so her brother’s best friend doesn’t hear. Todd knew about his sister’s crush on Dave. He also knew that Dave has a crush on Katie, so he allowed it.

He nodded his head, making Y/N smile. She started walking to class, but as she passed Dave she gave him a wink. Dave looked at his best friend’s sister with a nervous chuckle and watched as she walked away.

“I guess I’m going to Atomic Comics with you guys,” Todd told his friends as he side hugged his friends around the shoulders. They all understood that his going would also include Y/N, so they nodded their heads and started walking.

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Y/N and Todd walked into Atomic Comics. Y/N was not happy. She could be throwing the party of the century, but she was now hanging out with nerds and her crush. They sat down at the table with Todd’s friends. Todd sat with Marty and Y/N, as promised, sat next to Dave. Y/N was welcomed to a Y/F/F/M (your favorite flavor milkshake) milkshake.

“I ordered you guys a milkshake. Uh, I didn’t know what flavor you like, Y/N, so I got you Y/F/F/M,” Dave said nervously. Y/N blushed, turning her head, so the others wouldn’t see her. He knew my favorite milkshake flavor. Eeeep!

Y/N took the gesture as a sign that Dave liked her. She silently put her hand on Dave’s thigh. Dave’s body tensed up at the feeling of the girl's hand on his thigh. No one had ever touched him there before. He looked at the girl to see her on her phone playing candy crush. He slowly moved her hand off of his leg, only for it to once again place itself back on his leg, only higher. This went on for a couple of minutes before Dave had enough.

“Y/N, can I talk to you real quick?” he said through his teeth. He wasn’t upset. No, he was uncomfortable. They got up and walked towards the comic section.

“What was that?” Dave asked the girl he considered his sister.

“What? My hand on your thigh?” He nodded at her question. “I thought you liked me. Wait, do you not like me?” Dave didn’t speak for a couple of seconds. Y/N’s eyes started to tear up, knowing she just embarrassed herself.

Dave didn’t know how to handle the situation. How do you tell your friend’s kid sister that you don’t like her the same way she does? The next thing Dave said really set Y/N off. “Everyone knows I like Katie,” Dave said nervously.

Y/N was furious. “Are you for real? That Bitch?! You know she thinks you’re gay? That’s why you guys have been hanging out together so much. Not because she likes you, but because she thinks your gay! I didn’t tell her that you lied, but now...” Y/N yelled, not finishing her sentence out of anger. She grabbed the attention of her brother and Marty.

Dave must have forgotten who he was talking to because he just kept saying the wrong stuff. “I know. Please don’t tell her. I’m trying to find a way to tell her that I’m not,” Dave begged.

“You’re a loser and a dick. You probably have a loser dick also,” Y/N said. She didn’t mean it, but she was angry. She walked over to the table and grabbed her milkshake. She walked back over to Dave. She looked him in the eye as she poured her milkshake all over his head. Some of it slid off his head and down his face and body. With that, she ran out of the Comic shop in tears.

A cold and sticky Dave walked back over to his friends after watching Y/N run out. “You really hurt her feelings. You know, she told me while we were having a spa day that she rejected all the boys that asked her at school because she would rather be with either you or Kickass. You were the more predictable choice, but I also knew you didn’t like her like that. This is my fault. I should have been the big brother and told her the truth,” Todd looked down.

“Wait, you have spa days with your sister?” Marty laughed.

“That’s all you got from that? You know what? My sister is crying her eyes out on the streets, which makes her vulnerable to bad guys, so I’m gonna catch up with her,” he said, getting up and leaving the comic shop. Dave felt sorry, but there is only one thing he can do.

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Later that day, Todd tried to cheer Y/N up with a spa day. It helped a little but she was still heartbroken. He sat next to her on her bed and rubbed her back.

“Hey, you know that not everyone is going to like you back. You're gonna have crushes who reject you, just like today. But I want you to know that Dave does love you, just not the way you want him to,” Todd told his sister before leaving the room.

Y/N cried a little more before a knock was heard at her window. She walked over and moved her curtain to see Kickass at her window. She quickly opened it.

“Kickass? What are you doing here?” Y/N asked, confused.

“Well, your friend Dave messaged me saying that you needed some cheering up. He wanted me to tell you that he’s sorry. He didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Dave told Y/N.

“If Dave’s so sorry, why can’t he tell me himself. He totally hurt my feelings, and no offense, Kickass, but this meeting means nothing to me without Dave,” Y/N told the masked superhero.

Dave opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it. He thought about what he was gonna do next for at least two minutes. He walked towards the girl sitting on her bed.

“I think this will cheer you up,” Dave said, checking to make sure no one could see or hear anything. He reached for his mask, and slowly started to lift it up. Y/N looked up at the superhero, and she saw her brother’s best friend.

Her eyes widened in shock. “Dave, you’re Kick-“ Y/N got out before her mouth was covered. Dave had covered her mouth with his gloved hands to keep her from yelling his secret out to the world.

“I would really like it if your brother and the rest of the world didn’t know about this. But, I really am sorry. You mean a lot to me, and seeing you sad really hurt me. You're like a little sister to me. I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be, but I really do love you,” Dave told Y/N confidently.

Y/N nodded her head, still releasing the tears from her eyes. Dave took off his glove and started to wipe her tears away. When Dave finished, he pulled Y/N into a side hug and laid a kiss on top of her head.

They stayed like that for about a minute before Y/N spoke, “Dave, I know you don’t wanna be with me, but would you like to stay and hang out?”

Y/N looked at the boy with hopeful eyes. The ones that make you feel bad if you say no. The ones a lost dog gives you when you find it shaking, cold, and wet from the rain. Dave tried not to look, but it was impossible not to give in. He agreed to Y/N’s proposal. The girl's face lit up like Christmas.

She grabbed her headphones and started to make her way towards her brother’s room. One time, she went to borrow something from Todd but was met with the sight of her brother jerking off to porn.

Y/N opened the door to Todd’s room, to see Todd jamming out to music on his laptop. Y/N snuck in, quietly. She made sure not to bring attention to herself as she grabbed clothes from his drawer. She successfully completed her mission and made her way back to her room.

Meanwhile, in Y/N’s room, Dave walked around looking at Y/N’s things. He looked towards her desk to see a photo. He walked towards it to see a photo from 4 years ago held in a grey frame. It was a photo of Y/N, Todd, and Dave at Y/N’s 10th birthday party. Y/N had cake all over her face.

Dave remembered that day. Y/N and Todd’s dad bought two cakes. He was always one to pull pranks. They put the candles on the decoy cake, and they sang ‘Happy Birthday’. When the time was right, Todd and Dave snuck behind Y/N, picked up the cake, and pushed it into her face. Everyone laughed, even Y/N.

Y/N quietly walked back into the room with her brother’s clothes. She saw Dave looking at her 10th birthday picture. He seemed to be lost in thought, so when she cleared her throat to let him know she was there, he jumped like a cat next to a horn.

He stuttered trying to explain what was going on, but Y/N just threw the clothes at him and left the room. She sat outside the door as he got dressed. She heard a couple of clattering sounds but knew it was Dave being clumsy.

When he opened the door, she almost fell back. She picked herself off the floor and made her way into her room. She picked up her laptop, and relaxed on the bed, watching random movies on Netflix. And that’s how they fell asleep.

Around 4 am Dave woke up to see a snoring Y/N laying on his chest. Careful not to wake her up, he lifted her up and moved from his spot. He made sure he had all of the items he came in with and left, but not without a quick glance at Y/N. He smiled at the girl, and quietly closed her window.

I don't deserve her. She deserves better.

[messers-moony]

Tomorrow | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Wife!Reader

Summary: James is nervous to marry Lily so he asks his best friend how he managed to marry his wife.

A/N: I know that this is vote number one instead of number two (which won) however, I decided to scrap what I had for number two because it wasn’t good. This is better and I’ll continue to rewrite number two until it’s to my standards. I hope you understand.

His hands were sweaty. He was nervously pulling his hair which received multiple slaps from his best friend for ruining his hair. James stepped foot in the full-length mirror readjusting his bow tie while Sirius stood behind him, chuckling at his nervous best friend.

James sighed, “How’d you do it, Pads?”

“Mm?”

“How did you marry Y/n?”

Sirius chuckled, “Have you turned daft?”

James tilted his head in confusion, “You were my best man! You were there the entire time.” Sirius replied playfully.

“No, no, I mean, how did you really do it? Like step on the altar and marry her?”

“I just did?” Sirius answered, and James gave him a look, “Bullshit.”

“Okay, fine! Fine!” Sirius relented, “I was practically shitting myself. Y/n means a lot to me, ya’ know?”

James was silent, letting his best friend rant about his wife, “Y/n means everything to me. She’s been with me through thick and thin. There’s nothing more I wanted than to marry her even if it was in the midst of this war.”

“You’ve been chasing Lily for years, mate. I can promise you that she wouldn’t have said yes if she didn’t really want to.” Sirius assured.

“You’re sure?” James inquired insecurely, “I’m one hundred percent sure.”

A knock resonated on the door with a soft voice on the other side, “It’s just me!”

The female voice on the other side of the door walked in, styled h/c hair and makeup placed upon her face. She was greeted with Sirius, and a hug pulled tightly into his chest. She saw James looking at them nervously, and she let go of Sirius to hug James tightly.

“You’re going to be okay? I promise.” She stated, pulling apart to look at his hazel eyes, “Lily loves you. Godric, she loves you more than anything!”

“Thanks, Y/n.” James smiled softly, and Y/n pulled her lips to his ear to whisper, “Lily’s liked you since second year.”

James and Y/n laughed as they pulled apart, “But that stays between us!”

“Oi!” Sirius interjected playfully, “Taking my wife, are you?”

“Never.” James replied smiling, all nerves having left, “Thank you both for being here. Seriously it means a lot to me.”

They smiled, “Anytime.”

Someone cracked open the door and spoke, “We need the maid of honor and the best man so we can start.”

“Suppose that’ll be us?” Sirius questioned teasingly, “I think so.” Y/n smiled.

Y/n kissed James’ cheek, “You’ll do fine, and we’ll see you soon.”

“Of course, Mrs.Black.”

Sirius wrapped his arm around Y/n as they walked out to the aisle and altar. Sirius took his spot on the right and Y/n on the left. Smiling at each other from the side, remembering what it was like only a few months ago when they got married. When Lily was in the maid of honor spot and James was in the best man spot. Now roles were reversed.

James stepped out, gaining a reassuring smile from them both. Lily following not too far after with her father. James and Lily looked like lovesick puppies. It was adorable. Vows were exchanged, and tears were shed, especially from James and Lily. On the alter, someone took pictures of the four of them together. Sirius told an absurd joke making them all laugh. A picture was taken at the exact moment.

It was nice. Y/n and Sirius sat at a table together. His arm was around her shoulders as they watched their best friends dance together and laugh together. Sirius took the clips out of his wife’s hair and scratched her scalp, causing her to move into his hand. Multiple hours of clips in Y/n’s hair gave her headache, and Sirius was relieving it.

“Feel nice, love?”

“Yes, these bloody clips. Make sure you save them. I’m going to throw them at Lily later.” Y/n stated, and Sirius chuckled, “Mhm, okay.”

Hours later, James and Lily began to act like fools. Y/n picked up one of the clips from the table, aiming precisely with some help from Sirius - a former Quidditch Beater - and threw it at her. At first, she didn’t notice, but after the third one, she did. The smile on her face was unmistakable.

Lily picked up the three clips and turned toward her maid of honor with her hair down completely. Another one was thrown at her, and Lily laughed loudly. Then one was thrown at Y/n and Sirius. Fortunately, Lily threw it and missed Y/n completely, instead hitting Sirius right in the face. James, Lily, and Y/n were laughing like the only people in the building.

“Oi!” Sirius yelled, “Control your wife, Prongs!”

Y/n stood up, reaching a hand out for Sirius, “C’mon Siri. Let’s go join them.”

Sirius smirked and took her hand, joining their best friend dancing together, jumping around like fifth-year Gryffindors in the common room. They looked like complete idiots, but that didn’t matter. Lily and Y/n holding hands, twirling each other around, laughing together. James and Sirius began to throw the clips at each other. Remus and Peter were on the side watching the idiots.

Lily and Y/n traded. Y/n danced with James, and Lily danced with Sirius. The girls could remember back in sixth year complaining about their boyfriends in the girl's dorms but always remembering that they love their idiots. When the night was over, just the four of them at Godrics Hollow, they just laughed the night away.

“So, Mrs.Potter, how’s it feel?” Y/n teased, “Surprisingly, it feels great.” Lily replied.

“How about you, Mrs.Black?”

“Being married to Sirius is a dream.” Y/n joked, “No, no, but in all seriousness, he’s delightful, sweeter than I imagined.”

Lily’s eyebrows quirked, “What’s he like?”

“Perfect?” Y/n replied, “Does laundry, cooks, cleans, makes my coffee every morning before order stuff?”

“Mother of Merlin! I never would’ve expected-“ Lily exclaimed, “I know! It’s crazy!” Y/n interrupted.

“We got lucky, didn’t we?”

“Indeed we did, sister.”

They clinked their glasses of firewhiskey together. Both girls finally married, finally together. Lily and Y/n hit the motherload with their husbands. Both were gentlemen and chivalry experts. Both girls fell asleep together on the couch, leaving both boys to bring them to bed. Sirius and Y/n in the guest bedroom. James and Lily in their bedroom.

The following morning the four of them woke up. Lily and Y/n were making breakfast while the two men tried to help despite having no knowledge of cooking. Two hours later, breakfast was made and being eaten at the dinner table. Clinks of forks and sounds of chewing were the only sounds coming from the table.

Until Sirius spoke up, “So, how was yesterday, newlyweds?”

“Perfect.” James answered, Sirius then turned to Lily, “Despite everything going on, I think we really needed it.”

Y/n nodded, “Completely agree. It was nice to let loose for a couple of hours.”

The conversation then went quiet, “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” Said James solemnly.

“Yesterday was great, but what we don’t know is the future, and I know that right now it’s a dark time. It’s probably one of the lowest points I’ve been in my life. My parents being terribly sick, the Dark Lord on the rise supposedly. Everything seems to be going in a downhill spiral.”

“But for the first time in months, yesterday I felt like a first-year at Hogwarts performing my first prank. I felt like that second-year who blew up Y/n’s cauldron for fun. The third-year who decided it’d be a brilliant idea to dye Sirius’ hair pink.” James stated as everyone laughed, “Let’s just say I didn’t have hair for a week.” He murmured.

“Fourth year when I stole Remus’ book, and he nearly killed me. Fifth-year, when I turned into an animagus for Moony. Sixth year when Lily finally decided to give me a chance. Seventh year when we blew up fireworks in the Great Hall for the graduating class of 1978.”

“Not knowing what tomorrow brings leaves us anxious and nervous. But there’s one thing I’m sure of.” James informed, “That if anything ever happens to me, just know, that every second we’ve spent together, every memory we have together, I hold them close to my heart. They all mean something to me. Even if it’s as simple as sitting in the common room together.”

“James-“

“I’m not finished.” He interrupted, “This is a scary time, but I’ve always been certain of one thing, that thing is you guys. You guys have always been constants in my life. Always been there for me through thick and thin. Sirius being my brother, Lily being my wife, and Y/n being the little sister I never got and my shoulder to cry on.”

Y/n chuckled, “Hey!”

“I still love you.” James replied teasingly through his tears, and she smiled, “I know, Prongs.”

“I’ll eventually have to repeat the same speech to Moony and Wormtail, but for right now, I haven’t felt happier. I wanted to say all of this at the wedding, but Lily didn’t want to dampen anyone’s mood, which I understand. Yesterday was a breath of fresh air for what’s to come.”

“But tomorrow, we will all go back to our Order missions and meetings. One thing I can be sure of is that I can always trust you guys, through and through. If for some reason something happens to me, just know I love you guys.”

“We love you too, James.” Lily replied.

Sirius sniffled and smiled through his teary eyes, “Nothing will happen to you guys. Not with me here. You guys have given me too much to let you guys go without a fight.”

“And that’s why we love you, Padfoot.” James stated, smiling at him.

“Everything will be okay. We’ll get through this.” Y/n said with hopeful optimism that would always brighten her friend's days.

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Nine)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Smut, Domestic Violence, Angst

Words: 3,064

Please comment and interact...it's what keeps this blog going

***************************

Almost a week had passed since you stayed with Cillian at his unit in Galway and, despite the fact that he was away, things had further developed between you as emotions grew with every day.

He was different to any man you had ever been involved with and, whilst your involvement with each other stemmed from purely sexual lust and hunger, you had evolved from this to something different entirely within a matter of days.

Of course, you knew each other for years and, whilst you had a crush on Cillian for as long as you could remember, you never thought that it would be like this and, for Cillian, this feeling had never been mutual.

Whilst he always considered you to be attractive and very intelligent and kind, he never felt any emotional connection or sexual attraction towards you, at least not until that weekend when you visited Denise, which was also the first time he saw you again after six months had passed.

On that night during which you slept with each other, he let his sexual hunger take over his reasonable thinking mind after he saw you, in his kitchen, making pancakes and you had since, quite openly, talked about it. He saw sleeping with you as a mistake but, ever since that night, he couldn’t get you out of his head.

For you, things weren’t just sexual anymore and you began to feel strongly for Cillian which worried you especially since he was open about the fact that he didn’t know where things were heading with you. The fact that you are his daughter’s friend and much younger than him clearly bothered him and he sometimes admitted to you that he felt strange about building such a strong connection with you. A relationship was not what he wanted but he liked you, a lot.

As such, during the past week, Cillian called you every day after he finished filming and you were talking to him more frequently than you were talking to Denise.

During his breaks, he would also text you and check in on you as you were in the middle of exams. He always remembered when you had a test and asked you how it went and, when you told him that you didn’t feel confident with your results, he reassured you that you probably did well and, even if you didn’t, it wouldn’t matter. According to him, a pass is a pass and you needed to lower your expectations of yourself just a little.

To your surprise, he also remembered appointments you had scheduled and things that bothered you which meant that, unlike other men you had been with, he was actually listening and was interested in what you had to say.

Some nights, you had spent hours on the phone or Skype, joking about things you had encountered that day or talking about books, literature and music, which is something you both enjoyed.

Politics and social issues were other matters you could discuss endlessly and, even when you were of different opinions, you would be able to argue in the most satisfying way. Cillian always treated you as an equal and even opened up to you about his divorce from Denise’s mother recently.

Another thing you learned from Cillian was that Denise was brining along her friend Amalie to Manchester to stay at his apartment and, when you gave him a warning about her and her intentions, he reminded you that he only had eyes for you. In fact, he always showered you with compliments and all of his compliments were genuine and came natural to him, helping you immensely with your self-consciousness.

Unfortunately, whilst you enjoyed how engaging Cillian was with you every day, like a teenager in love, with the constant text messages and calls, your father soon got suspicious and confronted you about.

****

“Dad, I am almost 22, you don’t need to be spying on me” you said somewhat frustrated as he asked you who you were talking to every day.

“You live under my roof and you answer me young lady” he said harshly and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes just as your mother stepped in, trying to calm him down. Your father was much older, approaching sixty and fairly old school in the way he expected you and your sister to behave.

“A friend…I am talking to a friend” you explained and your father asked again, telling you not to lie to him because he would know.

“And this friend of yours, you can’t meet him…you just text and talk? You can’t bring him to our house and introduce him?” your father asked along with a million other questions.

“No, I can’t. he lives in Dublin and I, most certainly, wouldn’t bring him into this…” you said somewhat irritated by the interrogation.

“Dublin, huh? So, you met him when you visited Denise?” he asked and you nodded.

“It’s not her brother, is it? Because I really don’t want you to get involved with him. I don’t like this family and their views” your father said harshly, causing you to chuckle.

“Their views?” you asked somewhat surprised and your father nodded.

“Yes, their views on what’s right and wrong. If I recall correctly, this girl you call your friend was going out with someone of the same gender for a while. God didn’t tell us to do this but her parents obviously didn’t have an issue with it which, apparently is called new age parenting. Everything is pro choice and lets their children decide what is best for them even if they lack experience” your father went on to say and you couldn’t help but shake your head at his absurd commentary but, he continued and you soon learned what had happened between your parents and Denise’s parents many years ago, before which your mother had called Denise’s mother her friend as well.

According to your father, Cillian had voiced his opinion to your father when it was found out that your sister was pregnant following a short affair with a man she had met through university.

Cillian’s ex wife had told your sister that she had options, causing your father to get rather angry with her, which is when Cillian stepped in, supporting what Denise’s mother had said.

She had offered your sister help but your father considered this to be a betrayal and, whilst your mother maintained contact with Denise’s mother for a while, your father refused to get involved with Denise’s family thereafter.

Cillian’s often all so public views angered him and he made this very clear. He didn’t want you to be involved with his children and you couldn’t help but laugh about the irony of it all when you found out about this incident.

“Jesus Dad, that was years ago and not everyone has to have the same views as you” you said before confirming that you weren’t seeing Denise’s brother.

“No, they don’t, but I am just looking out for you and, instead of acting the way you do, throwing yourself at guys with new age ideas, I would much prefer if you met a nice young catholic man” your father explained, causing your mother to fume in anger with him.

“Throwing myself at guys? Listen, I am not sure what slut you think I am but it’s nice to know that you think so little of me” you said before storming upstairs and into your room.

Having to deal with this crap bothered you and you knew that, when this semester came to an end, you could be moving out now that you saved enough money for a bond and rent.

*****

As the evening went on, you spent all of your time in your room, reading a book until, finally, at around 9 o’clock you saw a notification on Skype.

‘Hey Beautiful’ Cillian said as you picked up and popped in your headphones.

Cillian apologised for calling through so late and informed you that he was finally able to speak to Laura, the woman he was seeing before you.

He knew that you wanted to know about it and he had no problem telling you what you needed to hear while telling you that you had absolutely nothing to worry about.

It was Laura’s first day back on set after a week-long break and Cillian told you that she wasn’t exactly impressed when he stood her down.

‘She probably likes you…I can understand that’ you said calmly but Cillian told you that he was pretty clear with her about what this was between them.

‘Well, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her’ he went on and you were quite happy to change the topic by this point and told him that you were aching for him.

‘Well, I am not sure that I can help you with that’ Cillian chuckled.

‘We could have Skype sex I suppose’ you giggled.

‘Skype Sex?’ Cillian laughed before telling you that he didn’t think that this would be a good idea since you were at home with your parents and you had previously complained about the thin walls of the house.

‘Oh Jesus Cillian, my father already thinks I am a slut, so I personally don’t care if anyone hears me getting myself off. I’ve got my earphones in and am the only one who can hear you and my door is locked’ you chuckled.

‘Your father thinks that you are a slut? Do you want to talk about that?’ Cillian asked concerned but you shook your head.

‘I rather not. You met him and know what he is like’ you explained.

‘I do. He takes God very seriously’ Cillian said before continuing on. ‘But, if you have problems at home you need to tell me please. You can stay at my apartment. I can get my house keeper to meet you there with the key’ he offered.

‘You said you were going to stay out of stuff between me and my parents just as I would stay out of matters between you and Denise’ you then said, reminding him on the conversation about your respective roles which you had three days ago.

‘Yes I did, but I can’t if I have to worry about you’ Cillian said firmly.

‘There is no need to worry Cillian. I promise’ you reassured him. ‘Well, actually, I need you to worry about my sexual needs right now’ you then went on to say with sly grin.

‘Through Skype?’ Cillian asked again somewhat concerned.

‘Yes’ you said with a cheeky smile as you settled more into your bed with your laptop.

‘Alright then, show me what you are wearing” Cillian said as he cut straight to the point.

‘Can you see?’ you asked as you adjusted the cam and showed Cillian your dark blue lingerie.

‘Very nice…but…I think you would look even better if you were naked, don’t you think?’ Cillian said somewhat nervously and you nodded in agreement.

‘Well, I suppose I should strip for you and you should strip for me’ you giggled as you seductively took off your bra slowly, showing Cillian your perky breasts through the camera.

You heard him inhale sharply as he watched you and took his t-shirt off at the same time, leaving him in nothing but his CK briefs.

Without words you then scooted back on the bed and removed your undies, allowing him to watch before you sat down on the bed, spread eagle and naked, giving him a good view of your mound.

‘Jesus Y/N, you are so fucking beautiful and sexy…touch yourself for me, nice and slow’ Cillian breathed out and you let his soothing voice wash over you, knowing what he was trying to do and happily helping him succeed.

‘Like this?’ you moaned as you began to run circles over your clit with your fingers.

‘Yes, just like that babe’ Cillian groaned as he shuffled down his briefs and you were finally getting a good look of his hard cock.

‘Oh god, I want to stroke your cock so badly’ you moaned as you seductively opened your pussy lips with your fingers, opening yourself up before reaching for the black vibrator you kept in your bedside table.

‘Well, someone's particularly horny tonight’ Cillian chuckled as he watched you play with your pussy, and you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You mumbled a small "mhm," and he laughed.

‘Good, that's exactly how I like you, so naughty and needy’ Cillian said as he slowly began to stroke his hard member.

You barely registered his words enough to answer with another "mhm," but your subconscious managed it. Your weak answer elicited another delicious chuckle from the other end of the line.

"Why don't you show me how this little toy of yours works?” Cillian then asked as he watched you eagerly.

“I was just waiting for you to ask” you giggled as you began to run your fingers along your stomach and back up to your chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps their wake before reaching for the vibrator and turning it on.

“Put into your sweet pussy babe, let me see it” Cillian groaned and you moan in response, barely processing his words but still understanding enough to answer and do what he asked.

"I bet your pussy is already dripping” he said as you slid the vibrator into you slowly. He was right, you could feel your wetness pooling.

“I am so fucking wet and I wish it would be your cock inside me” you moaned as you began to stroke the toy in and out of you.

Cillian was groaning on the other side, his eyes full of lust and desire for you and you let out a quiet moan as you watched him with the same desire and hunger while you were pleasuring yourself.

“Good girl, keep going…” Cillian tells you and you moan again hearing it.

“Tell me how much you are aching for my cock” he then said you moaned again.

“I want your cock so badly, fuck…I want your cum inside me, dripping out of my wet little pussy” you moaned, eliciting a groan from Cillian as he began to stroke his cock harder and faster.

“Such a naughty needy girl, aren’t you? I can’t wait to be inside you again and make you cum over and over again” Cillian said with a laboured breath and you are barely listening at this point.

“I want you to cum for me and show me this dripping pussy when you do…I fucking love hearing your moans, so fucking sexy…common babe….let go” Cillian said, knowing that you were close and your orgasm rolled over you as soon as the word 'cum' left his lips, and although your sensitive clit was screaming at your hand to stop, you couldn't.

‘Oh god fuck, yes…’ you moaned as you came hard and fast.

“That’s it babe, don’t stop” he instructed as your moans continuously spilled from your mouth, and you were not even sure what you were saying or if you were forming words at all. The only thing in your head is a deliciously heavy fog and Cillian’s voice guiding you to do what he wanted.

“Don’t stop, keep fucking your sweet little pussy babe” Cillian ordered as he knew you weren’t done and, just as he did, you let out a high-pitched moan, bordering on a scream, as an even stronger orgasm washed over your body.

‘Cum for me babe…I want to see all this cum’ you moaned in return, focusing on the delicious image in front of you as Cillian was stroking his cock and, just when you finally come back down you heard Cillian groan loudly.

“Fuck” he groaned as he stroked his cock hard and fast you watched rope after rope of cum spurt onto his stomach.

‘Oh god, what a waste, I want to lick your cum off your skin so badly” you breathed out as Cillian came down from his high slowly and used a tissue to clean himself up.

‘Stop saying those things or you have to stay on the line for another twenty minutes at least’ Cillian chuckled as he could feel his manhood stir again.

‘Well, I think you shouldn’t cum again until you come to visit me in Galway the weekend after next…I want you to save it all for me’ you said, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow as he pulled his briefs back up.

‘Fat chance babe’ he chuckled, knowing that going without an orgasm for nine days would be rather difficult for him.

Eventually, after a lot of begging, he agreed to try but he wouldn’t be able to make you any promises to this effect.

***

The following day, you went to work and then university thereafter but, when you eventually returned home, your father was in a worse mood than ever before.

‘Can you explain this to me?’ he asked angrily as soon as you walked through the door and you couldn’t help but gulp when he pointed to a white box which he had placed on the living room table.

‘You went through my personal belongings’ you huffed out as the box contained some lingerie and intimate items, including toys, that you were hiding in the bottom of your dresser.

‘Again Y/N, this is my house, my rules and I don’t want my daughter to own filth like this’ he said, after having heard small pieces of your conversation with Cillian on Skype the evening before.

It was obvious to you that your father was appalled and you were outraged that he had been snooping through your room and, as you would later learn, had even tried to access your computer.

‘I can’t fucking believe you dad. These are my personal belongings and you have no right to go through them’ you huffed out and, just as you did, you could feel a sharp strike across your face.

‘Get this shit out of my house and talk to me with some respect’ he said harshly, leaving you speechless and in tears as he walked away, leaving your cheek burning red.

   Tag List:

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@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​

[storiesforallfandoms]

talent that runs in the family ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2128

request?: yes!

“Being rooks sister and substitute him while he recovers and slowly start to fall in love with colson”

description: she steps in to replace her brother when he is seriously injured and ends up gaining feelings for his friend

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Thanks so much for doing this (Y/N),” Rook said over the phone. “I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said. “But does Colson know that I’m...y’know...not a seasoned vet?”

“You’ll do fine.”

I refrained from reminding him that he didn’t actually answer my question.

After Rook’s accident left him out of commission for some time, he came to me to ask if I’d fill in for him. I jumped at the opportunity. Rook had taught me how to drum when I was young and, much like my big brother, it became a passion of mine. How could I turn down working with one of the biggest artists of the year, even if it were just for a short while?

Well, my nerves were definitely telling me I should’ve said no as I walked into soundcheck that day.

“Whatever,” I said. “I’ll call you after the soundcheck.”

“Hey, don’t be nervous. You’re gonna do great.”

I said my goodbyes and hung up. I tried not to focus on how big the venue we were playing in was as I made my way to the otherwise empty stage. I thought I was the first person to arrive until I heard someone calling my name.

“(Y/N), up here!”

I looked up to see the guys sat in a booth in the balcony. Colson was all but leaning over the railing, waving for me to join them. I had no idea how to get up there on my own, but luckily a security guard showed me the way.

The guys were eating pizza and drinking from plastic cups as if they were the ones attending the concert and not performing in it.

“Pre-show ritual,” Colson told me. “Especially when we have someone new joining the band. Sit! Have a slice!”

“Shouldn’t we be practicing?” I asked, but still sat with them. I didn’t want to completely mess up my first day.

“We have hours to practice,” one of the other guys I remembered as Slim said. “And we don’t really need to. We do this every night. A soundcheck is basically just to make sure everything is working tech wise.”

I just nodded, not wanting to point out that I hadn’t been doing this every night. I hoped that I’d have some time to figure out the songs before the shows.

Colson nudged me, bringing my attention to him. “Don’t stress. You’ll do great.”

I smiled at him, wishing I’d believe him.

After our small feast of pizza and beer in plastic glasses, we finally got to our soundcheck. I was so nervous that I kept messing up during the first song. My hands were shaking and I kept hitting the wrong drum by accident. My face was burning with embarrassment as I buried it in my hands and groaned.

Colson walked up to me, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I can get this, I know I can.”

“I know you can, too,” he said. “Just take a breath, relax. We’ll try again when you’re ready. And remember, it’s just drumming. Rook says you’re great at it.”

I smiled at him and nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pictured myself back in my bedroom from my childhood, playing my drums super loud until my parents had to call out for me to keep it down.

When we started practicing again, it went off without a hitch. We did most of the setlist all the way through and did quick takes on the last few songs before our time was up.

I was proud of myself as the soundcheck came to an end. I was still nervous about performing during the actual show, but I felt confident enough in myself not to make too many noticeable mistakes when we actually had an audience that night.

I was walking to my car when I heard someone calling for me. I turned to see Colson running to catch up with me. Or rather he was taking long strides to catch up with me considering he was so tall.

“I told you you would do great!” he said, putting an arm around my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. “It’s like drumming runs in your blood or something.”

I chuckled. “That’s what mom and dad always said too, but neither one of them can keep a beat to save their lives and no one else in our immediate family plays either.”

“You and Rook are the start of a long line of drummers then I guess.”

I shrugged in response. We both stood awkwardly for a moment. I wasn’t sure what else to say. His arm was still around my shoulder and I didn’t want to pull away and make it seem like I didn’t enjoy the contact because I definitely was not complaining about it.

I guess Colson also realized that he was still touching me, though, because he pulled his arm away and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do you need a run to the hotel or anything?” he asked. “We have the tour bus.”

I shook my head. “I’m good, thanks. I have my car, and besides I haven’t even checked into the hotel yet so I should probably go do that.”

“Oh, yeah you definitely should. Get some rest before the show, too. It’s a lot more physically demanding when it’s an actual show, even if you’re just sitting at a drum set the entire time. I’ll see you tonight then I guess.” He turned to walk away, but paused and turned back to add, “What were you planning on wearing tonight?”

I looked at him, confused. “Uh...this I guess.”

I was wearing a hoodie and a pair baggy jeans and my most comfortable pair of sneakers.

Colson raised an eyebrow at my outfit before looking back up at me. “I mean, it’s definitely comfy, but I would recommend something a little less...well, just less. It’s going to be hot as fuck on that stage, especially with all the lights on you and shit.”

I nodded, taking note of this as I got into my car and internally panicked a little because I didn’t know if I even had anything to wear.

~~~~~~

A few hours later, after checking into my hotel room and promptly wrecking it by throwing my clothes everywhere, I was heading back down to the lobby to meet up with the guys. We were going to the show together, which would’ve been my first tour bus ride. I couldn’t lie, I was super stoked for it.

I was the last one to the lobby. All the guys were stood around, loudly talking to one another. You’d think they were just a normal group of guys and not a group about to play a sold out show in a massive arena.

Colson spotted me first. I smiled at waved at him. His eyes widened and his jaw basically dropped, which prompted all the guys to turn. Their reactions immediately matched his as they looked me up and down.

“Rook would kill you guys if he could see you right now,” I teased.

“Damn (Y/N),” Colson dared to say first. “You look...you look hot as fuck.”

I had decided on a loose muscle shirt with a bralette underneath since the shirt showed a little more than what I was used to, a pair of ripped skinny jeans, and kept on the comfortable sneakers I had been wearing earlier that day.

I giggled. “Thanks, but again, Rook would kill you for saying that. Also, it’s not anything super attractive.”

“You got a nice body,” Baze pointed out. “Anything showing it off even a little is hot.”

I could feel my face burning as I waved their comments away. “Okay, enough with this. We have a show to get to.”

We boarded the tour bus and started towards the arena. The guys were distracted amongst one another again, completely forgetting about me and my “hot outfit”. Besides Colson, who had come to sit next to me on the couch while the rest of the guys were already drinking whatever was in the mini fridge.

“Do you guys always get drunk before your shows?” I asked.

“Not always. Usually we get high,” Colson responded.

“Now that I can get behind. I’ll probably be less afraid if I’m high.”

Colson held out the joint in his hand to me. I took it and took a quick puff, the smoke immediately burning my throat and lungs as I tried to inhale it. Colson laughed as I started to cough.

“I still say you have nothing to worry about,” he told me. “You’re gonna do great tonight. You can’t even really see or hear the audience with all the lights and the inner ear pieces.”

“That’s even worse cause then I’ll just imagine how big the audience is.”

He put a hand on my leg, something I assume was just instinct for him to do to comfort someone, but the minute he made the contact I felt a jolt of electricity run through me. Colson quickly pulled his hand away and I wondered if he had felt that too.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking,” he said.

“You can if you want,” I assured him. “I wasn’t mad about it or anything.”

Colson looked at me and I realized how blue his eyes were. Rook had always made jokes about how Colson could seduce any woman with just his eyes because they were such baby blues, but I didn’t really believe him until the moment I was looking in them myself. Now I was lost, completely forgetting everyone around me as I felt myself moving closer towards him.

The bus jerked to a stop, causing Colson and I to nearly be thrown from our seats. The guys started off the bus first, running towards the entrance to the arena as I could hear the waiting fans screaming outside.

Colson stood and offered a hand to me. “It’s showtime.”

~~~~~~

After the first song went perfectly, I stopped feeling nervous. Colson was right, I couldn’t see the audience in front of me, but I could faintly hear their screams of excitement over my inner ear piece. It was weird to have it in and not only hear all of us playing, but also the crew talking backstage. It was almost distracting, but it became easy to tune them out.

During one of Colson’s talking points in the show, I reached for my water bottle to take a sip. Colson was hyping the audience up, which made me smile a little.

“Before we continue the show,” he said into his mic, “you guys may have noticed that we do not have our regular drummer tonight.”

I immediately knew what he was about to do and I wanted to hurtle my drumstick at him before he went there.

“As you’ve probably heard, Rook was in a bit of an accident and is off recovering for the time being,” he continued. “So, we decided to get some family to fill in for him for the time being. Everyone, I want to hear y’all make some noise for Rook’s little sister, (Y/N)!”

The crowd cheered loudly. Colson turned to me and waved for me to stand. I glared at him, which I hoped he could see, before standing and awkwardly smiling and waving at the audience.

“All the cool drum shit you guys have been hearing all night has been (Y/N),” Colson said as he started to approach me. “She’s a bad ass fucking drummer, and she’s a pretty fucking cool chick, too.”

I was confused where he was going with this as he came to stand next to me, slinging an arm around my shoulder the way he had earlier that day after soundcheck.

“Which is why, (Y/N), I gotta ask: will you go on a date with me sometime?”

Slight embarrassment was swelling somewhere inside of me at being asked out in such a public way, but that embarrassment was overshadowed by the fuzzy feeling of excitement inside of me. I looked up at Colson, my eyes wide and a smile on my lips.

 He lowered the mic so he could privately add, “I’m being serious. I wanna take you out on a real date. Just the two of us.”

My words were stuck in my throat, but I was able to nod in response. The smile on Colson’s face stretched so wide that I could’ve been convinced he was the one lighting the show.

“Okay,” he said, then lifted the mic to say to his audience, “Let’s get back to the show guys!”