#i come from a long line of alcoholics ok lmao. i know them pretty well.

[macchiatosdumptruck]

Maybe one day I'll be able to properly explain how good Johnny's alcoholism was written and portrayed and how much it meant and how bad they fumbled that when they started writing it for cheap laughs

[mxchellesworld]

Discuss!

Spencer Reid x Reader

Synopsis; Where the team discusses the question ‘do you kiss after head’, you find out Spencer has too little experience to answer the question so you help him out

Warnings; smut, oral (male receiving), sub!spencer, praise, slight degradation 

a/n; LMAO im so sorry for disappearing again life has been actually kicking my ass but anyways lately i’ve been thinking about subby early season spence so here we go,, hope you enjoy!

***

Another Friday night and the team was out bar crawling after an easy case. But this time all members were there as it reached 11pm which was rare. Usually Hotch and JJ would have been home by 10:30 and Spencer wouldn’t have been there at all. But there was something light in the air which had all parties concerned sitting packed in a booth, laughing after each sip of their drinks. 

Since it wasn’t your first rodeo together you knew how the night went. It started off with Rossi offering to buy the first few rounds, always whiskey but he made an exception for Penelope. Then again who would deny her anything. 

Once the drinks were flowing and lips got a little loose, the questions would start popping in at the top of your heads. However these were not your run of the mill, ‘hows so and so doing?’ ‘done your taxes yet?’ oh no. The name of the game was discuss where you would all think of a question which would help you dig just a tiny bit deeper into your coworkers sex lives. 

Maybe if you were all sober then you’d avoid thinking of each other in such positions, pun intended, yet in this state your prying minds were open and your stomachs were ready to grow abs from bending over in laughter. 

You raised the margarita glass up clinking it with a fork to get the tables attention. Everyone including Aaron had a smile on their face, ready to hear the intrusive question for the night. 

“Ok my fellow profilers, doctor, and tech genius,” you added pointing at Spencer then Pen, “Do you kiss your partner after they give you head? Discuss!” you finished in your most formal voice. 

Right as you took a swig of your drink the mixed responses of yes and no filled your small space. 

“Why wouldn’t you? You guys especially, if someones willingly trying to swallow then you damn well owe them a kiss,” Emily finished earning nods and ‘exactly’s from JJ, Pen, and yourself. 

“Ok but thats weird. I just can’t explain it but its a no go for me,” Morgan finished. This only gained him a scoff and raised voices, “Hotch man help me out here,” he said looking over to the man hiding his smirk behind the amber liquid. 

“I have to agree with the ladies here Derek,” he said curtly. 

The girls yelped and hooted at Hotch for siding with them while Morgan sat with his arms crossed being the singular person left out as even Rossi agreed. Meanwhile you noticed the presence next to you had shrunk back and wasn’t too active in the conversation. 

“So Spence do you kiss your partner after they,” you trailed off shaking your fist by your cheek and poking your tongue in the side. 

He coughed as he instantly sat up quicker. Even under the dim lights of the bar you could still see the blush creeping up from his neck to his ears and the slightest tint on his cheeks. 

“Oh I uh- I never-” he said looking anywhere but your eyes. 

“You don’t kiss them?” you said raising your brows. 

“No! I-i mean yes. I would I think b-but I haven’t had the chance to actually partake in such.. activities,” he finished finally taking a look into your eyes. 

You could tell he was waiting for you to laugh in his face for being so inexperienced but you felt far from it. If anything you wished you could be the one to show him things. 

That sweet boy had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. Maybe it was his naivety considering how exceptionally smart he was. Or maybe it was the cute sweater vests he wore and now he nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. All you knew was that you wanted Spencer Reid and tonight was your night to make it happen. 

You hummed taking in the information, “Well that’s not a bad thing Spence. Everything takes time,” you said putting your hand on his arm for comfort and giving him a smile. 

Going to turn back to face the table you almost didn’t hear Spencer go to speak again, “Do you?” 

Got him.

“Why don’t you find out pretty boy,” you said with a wink as you downed the rest of your marg. In the corner of your eye you could see Spencer shifting in his seat, subtly moving his bag to cover the slowly growing tent in his slacks. 

As the night went by you couldn’t help but really give him a show. You had popped open a button or two on the long sleeve you had on, since it was getting stuffy in the booth. Though when you leaned forward and jutted your chest out, the soft inhale of a breath from the man next to you was just serving as motivation to get bolder. 

For the last hour you called it quits on the alcohol and drank a few glasses of water before you drove home. Spencer had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since your little interactions. 

The team had all gotten up to say their goodbyes. Rossi going by and giving everyone a kiss on each cheek. Derek having to quite literally rangle Penelope from talking to passing by groups on their way out. Then there were two. 

You turned to the side where Spencer was nursing on his coke, “Hey pretty boy, it’s late, let me give you a ride home,” you said grabbing your belongings. 

“Y-yeah ok. Thanks Y/n,” he said getting up. You’d noticed how he still had the burnt orange bag over his crotch. He couldn’t still be hard could he? Well you’d love to find out. 

As gentlemanly as he was, Spencer opened the door for you to exit the building first. The whip of fresh night air cooling on your exposed chest and legs under your skirt. 

You unlocked your car and stepped in, Spencer waiting to hear the little beep signaling his side was open. As he sat down you heard him let out a little whimper. Your head shot over to look at him, you could tell from the flush on his cheeks he didn’t mean to let the noise out. 

Holding in your chuckle you started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, “Can I put on some music?” 

“Yeah I don’t mind,” he said looking over at you with his lips in a line. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think he was uncomfortable but you loved his tiny awkward smiles. 

The ride to his apartment was mostly silent besides a rare quip from Spencer about paper work or fact about an older building you had passed by. It fascinated you to no end hearing him talk. Spencer was a hand speaker, meaning he always used his hands waving them around and making gestures. The pale digits had you captivated. Probably a driving hazard but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 

You pulled up into one of the visitor spots and put the car in park. You looked over to see Spencer almost contemplating something. You’d seen the look on his face before when he was looking over puzzles. 

“Somethin on your mind Doc?” you said with a small smile. As cute as he looked when he was nervous, you’d never want him to feel uncomfortable around you. 

“Would you-,” he cleared his throat, “Wo- Would you maybe want to c-come inside?” 

“Of course Spence I’d love to,” you finished with a reassuring nod. 

As he led you upstairs you were giddy with anticipation. So what if nothing happened. He was your friend first and you were glad he was letting you into his personal space. Even if you wanted nothing more than to have him writhi-

“Y/n?” 

The door closing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were in his living room. The dark green walls and shelves bursting with books put a grin on your face, “Sorry Doc, just caught up in my thoughts. What did you say hun?” 

His brows practically raised to his hairline from hearing the pet name. While he was used to the names coming from Garcia they took a whole different light coming from your lips. 

“I was asking if you wanted water or something,” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. Eyes darting everywhere but your face so you wouldn’t be able to see the flush rising on his cheeks. 

“No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” you said taking a seat on the worn leather couch. 

You reached for the tv remote making a face at Spencer to ask for permission. He nodded and you settled back turning on an old sitcom that played late at night. 

As the episode ended you both sat in silence. Again you didn’t mind but you could practically hear the cogs moving in Spencer’s brain. 

You were about to speak when he cut you off before you could even get a word out, “What did you mean by ‘why don’t you find out’.”

Gaining confidence you moved closer to where he was on the couch, slow enough for him to stop you in case he wanted to back out. 

“Well you have options pretty boy,” you said moving a leg to straddle him. Your hands instinctively going to his brown locks. You could’ve sworn you heard a little moan leave his chapped lips. Noted. 

“W-what are the options,” lust blown eyes looked up to yours. 

“One, you can put that mouth to good use on me,” you said trailing your finger over his bottom lip, “and let me cum over that pretty face.” 

His eyes shut hearing your words and you weren’t having it, “Nuh uh eyes on me honey,” instantly they were back on yours. 

“Or number two. I can suck you off and let you cum down my throat, but,” you paused making sure to roll your hips on his growing length, “ you have to give me a nice big smooch after.” 

The hands on your hips pulled you closer as he bucked his hips into you as you finished the sentence. It was clear which option was preferred. 

You moved to slide down in between his legs. You let your hands trail down his clothed thighs, causing him to jump. 

“Tsk such a needy boy,” you said mockingly, “Am I not going fast enough baby?”

“Please Y/n,” he all but whimpered. It was like music to your ears. 

Your hands went to his belt, looking up in his eyes for a final sign of permission. Once he nodded you quickly undid it and he lifted his hips to help get his pants down. You palmed him over his boxers, feeling the wet patch where he was already leaking pre cum. 

“Is this all for me Spence? Does the thought of my lips around you make you this hard,” you said taking him out of the striped confines. 

“Oh god please just,” he cut himself off. You could see his hands curling fists besides his legs. 

“Please what baby? I can’t give you anything unless you ask.” Your hands continued their task of leisurely stroking his length. 

“Fuck please put your mouth on me,” he rushed out, hips bucking to prove his point. 

The answer was good enough for you so you wasted no time in leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. Both of you let out content sighs as you tried to take him further. 

You looked up to see him with his head leaned back, eyes scrunched closes in pleasure. 

You pulled off with a pop, letting your hand work him over. “Better keep those pretty eyes on me before I decide you can’t finish.”

He looked down with a flash of worry, that was quickly replaced by a loud moan as you spit down on his cock before taking him in your mouth again. 

For a germaphobe, Spencer loved how nasty it was. He was thanking god or whatever higher being there was for giving him his eidetic memory because the sight below him was something he’d never wanna forget. 

Your eyes were teary and you had spit dribbling down your chin but he wanted nothing more than to give you more than just a kiss after you finished. Or well after he finishes. 

You could tell he was close by the way he was throbbing on your tongue. Again taking him out of your mouth you used both hands to jerk him off. 

“You’re doing such a good job baby. So good for me. You wanna cum in my mouth pretty boy?”

“God Y/n I’m so close please please please,” he whimpered out. 

“Cum for me baby, be my good boy Spence,”  you said before taking him down your throat. He was big, not girthy but long and it was a struggle but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to take him all. 

Hollowing your cheeks you bobbed your head quickly, egging on his release further. His hands finally found a place in the back of your head. Pushing you down further as he came. 

“F-fuck Y/n I’m gonna”

His moans and whines were a symphony of sounds you’d have on repeat in your head forever. 

You swallowed the salty release but before you could even wipe your lips you were being pulled up by Spencer placing his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, his hands gripped the sides of your face not wanting to let you go. 

The need for air made you both pull back. You looked at one another, chests heaving and looking like you ran a marathon. 

Then a sad look came across his face. 

“Spencer what’s wrong?” 

“You didn’t get any pleasure,” he said looking like a hurt puppy. Oh your sweet boy. 

“It’s ok baby, I can take care of myself,” you tried to shrug off.

He was quick to push you back on the couch, taking the spot you were previously in. His warm lips trailing down your exposed thighs. 

“I wanna do it, but only if you kiss me after.” 

[rebeccccccaaa]

ｂｕｎｎｙ

_____________________________

ｂｕｃｋｙ ｂａｒｎｅｓ ｘ ｓｔｒｉｐｐｅｒ!ｒｅａｄｅｒ

ｓｕｍｍａｒｙ: bucky’s got a little secret that he goes to every night; where his little bunny is waiting for him just like always.

ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ: smut 18+ (pet names, bucky gives you a collar ;), face sitting, oral m recieving, light bondage, semi public sex, unprotected sex) slight angst?

ａ/ｎ: i really like this lmao might do a part 2? idk let me know 

ｗｃ: 2.3k

_______________________________

“Where are you headed Buck?” 

“Out,” he said without much thought.

“Wait!” Steve shouted, running to catch up to him.

“Seriously, Buck. What’s going on? You’ve been out almost every night. You’ve taken out tons of money for cash,” Buck looked at Steve confused, “Yeah, Tony asked me why you were wasting your paycheck and where it was going. I told him I have no idea.”

“Can you not right now? We’ll talk…” Bucky trailed off patting his pockets; looking for something.

“We’ll talk later, I promise,” he said before running upstairs to grab a velvet box. 

Bucky went to the garage, luckily without running into anyone, and hopped on his bike and headed to the club downtown. When Bucky got there his senses were quickly overwhelmed with the smell of weed, smoke, sweat, alcohol. But he got over once his eyes landed on you. 

You sat in the pink and purple lights on another man's lap; slipping bills in your bra and panties, laughing and sulking in your attention. Bucky knew the demands your job had but it didn’t stop him from wanting to turn any man who touched you or even looked at you like he did inside out. 

You looked up and noticed Bucky’s piercing eyes looking at you. You wanted to cave in yourself. It wasn’t often that Bucky would find actually doing your job but when he did you felt dirty and gross; like you were cheating on him even though he wasn’t yours and you weren’t his. 

Yet.

“That’s your time,” you said sexily to the man. 

“Oh come on, baby. Lemme get another hour. Maybe we can migrate to one of the private rooms?” he whispered disgustingly. 

“I’m sorry. I have another client,” you looked down at his hand where a gold wedding band sat on his fourth finger.

“Hey, you’re not going anywhere. It’s your job to please me,” he grabbed your arm roughly, shocking. This wasn’t rare but it also didn’t happen a lot; it still scared you when stuff like this happened.

“I already told you I have another client,” you yanked your hand away, quickly walking away shaking.

“Fuckin’ whore,” he said distantly; you rolled your eyes. Sometimes this job makes you feel disgusting.

“Are you ok?” Bucky said brushing your arm softly when you went up to him.

“Yeah, I’m  ok. The room in the back corner is open for us, I’ll meet you there. I’m just gonna grab a quick drink. Do you want anything?”

“No. Wait- Actually could I just have some water?”

“Mission?”

“Yeah,” he responded; you smiled softly before going to the bar. 

“You ok? I saw what happened,” the bartender asked you while grabbing two waters for you and Bucky.

“Yeah, just a guy with too much testosterone,” you chuckled.

“Need a shot?” she asked, holding a bottle of tequila.

“No, uh, Buck’s here,” you hesitated. She knew about your “nightly sessions” you’ve had for the past couple months. Yes, months. Bucky came almost every night. It started just for sex at first. You hadn’t intended to sleep with him his first night but it happened. Since then Bucky became addicted. He doesn’t even pay, he just shows up and fucks your brains out. And you don’t mind not one bit.

“This isn’t healthy for either of you.”

“I know but it’s all I have right now.”

You walked around the swarm of dancers and clients coming up to the private room designated for private dances. You slowly opened the door and closed it behind seeing Bucky snap his head to you when you came in. His usual worrisome and hard face soften with his beautiful smile. 

You smiled back handing him his water. He took it and chugged it all in seconds. Some water spilled down his chin and his throat and you were instantly turned on, holy hell that was hot.

“Thank you, bunny,” he smirked. The name you were given when you joined the club as a dancer was Bunny; it was also Bucky’s favorite name to call you. 

“Speaking of, I have something for you,” he took out the velvet box and grabbed your hand to lead you to the small pink bed. He sat you on his lap, hands rubbing your legs softly while you carefully opened the box. Inside was a baby pink collar with diamonds speckled across the leather. There was a gold loop that dangled in the front, a tiny pink bow above it. On it spelled with diamonds as well was B’s Bunny. 

“I didn’t know if it would make you uncomfortable to have my whole name on it,” he whispered in your ear.

“I love it,” you giggled.

He nibbled on your ear while you pulled out the collar handing it to him so he could put it on. When he did he pulled on the loop to pull you in for a kiss. A messy dirty sloppy kiss that made you weak in the knees. Your arms wrapped around him pulling even closer.

“My bunny,” he growled when you pulled away.

You slowly got off his lap and to the floor. Your hands moved across his front before stopping at his waist. You unbuckled his pants pulling his belt off completely. 

“What are you doing, princess?”

“I want to say thank you. For my pretty collar,” you said sensually. 

You pulled his pants and underwear down his thighs, grabbing his cock pumping excruciatingly slow. His breath quickened when you licked the underside of it. Not long after, you wrapped your lips around his tip. You sank down a bit until his tip hit the back of your throat. Bucky’s hands brushed your hair delicately.

You move swiftly up and down his shaft hollowing cheeks to suck hard on his cock. You gagged only a little when Bucky started to move his hips upward  into your face. He moaned and whined underneath you making you hum in content. The hum you made vibrated against Bucky’s dick settled in the back of your throat. 

His hips arched off the bed and you deepthroated his cock feeling hot spurts of cum shoot down your throat.

“God, your fucking amazing, bunny,” Bucky panted coming down from his high. 

Bucky grabbed you hand and brought you to your feet, then sat you on his lap to kiss you. 

“Sit on my face, baby girl,” he whispered.

You crawled up his body and straddled his stomach first. He kissed your stomach and chest; he rubbed his hands all over you. You moaned softly and sighed in pleasure. The music was still playing in the club and you started moving your hips side to side, rolling your head back.

“You’re so fucking sexy, my bunny.”

You only smiled at him before proceeding to crawl up to straddle his face. He laid back to make room for you leaving tender kisses on your inner thighs. You looked down to see Bucky under you; the sight was gorgeous. He lifted his hands to move your panties to the side then licked a slow long line up your pussy. 

“You're so wet, bunny,” he mocked.

He continued skillfully moving his tongue up and down your pussy and you moaned and whined above him. You down again to find Bucky’s cheeks tinted red, his forehead a little sweaty, and his eyes closed; basking in your sex you gave him. His hands wrapped around your thighs from underneath and he pulled you further down on him, sucking on your clit. 

He moaned as well making vibrations, your body shuddered in pleasure. The pressure building in your stomach was about to burst so you reached down and curled your fingers in Buck’s hair tugging gently. Your back slightly arched and you came, practically gushing all over his face. 

“That was fucking amazing, we need to do that again. I fucking loved it,” Bucky said when he sat up. 

You panted before laying back on the bed chuckling at what Bucky said. He stood up and you thought he was done for the day, ready to walk out of here like he didn’t just blow your fucking mind by having you sit on his face. But he walked to where you had previously discarded his belt and grabbed it after he stripped off his shirt. 

He turned to you slowly and stalked up to you, smirking like the devil. You sat up smiling back at him; he stood in between your legs with the belt in his hands. 

“Gimme,” he said firmly.

You gave him your hands and he wrapped the belt around them. Tonight he was extra adventurous. Usually he would come and you would ride him maybe once or twice, you’d suck his dick, he would eat you out but all this normally was on the bed or the small couch that’s off to the side. 

You’ve never sat on his face, or anyone’s face, and you’ve never been tied up in any way. But you'd do anything for him and if this is what he wants for tonight he was gonna get it.

Bucky kissed you when he finished looping the belt around your wrists. He made sure it wasn’t too tight before laying you back with your hands above your head. He grabbed your panties and slipped them down your legs. He took his pants and boxers off too leaving him bare before you. 

He crawled above you and looked to you to make sure you were ok with everything. You’ve had sex almost every for the past few months and he still asks if you’re ok. It’s heartwarming. You nodded with a smile and he slid into you hard and fast. 

You moaned loudly and luckily the music was always quite loud in the club, part of the reason you  two have never been caught; beside the bartender lady having her suspicions and you telling her because you were getting too anxious not telling anyone.

He kissed you roughly groaning above you as his hips snapped in and out of you repeatedly. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head in pleasure and Bucky chuckled proudly at that. He buried his face in your neck peppering light kisses every now and then. 

Your hands tugged away from each other, a pathetic attempt to break the bondage on you. You whined desperately wanting to hold Bucky; to run  your hands across his body like he does to you always. 

“Bunny, I’m gonna come soon.”

“Me too Bucky. You feel so good.”

“Tell me you let others touch the way I do?”

“No only you!” you moaned.

“Really? ‘Cause that’s not what I saw coming in here; seeing that man have his filthy hands all over you.”

“It’s not real,” you whimpered.

“And this is?” he growled.

“Yes! Bucky, I’m so close,” you sobbed, tears falling down your face in pleasure.

“Me too baby, let go for me. Let go.”

You tumbled over the edge, practically screaming through your climax. Bucky’s arms almost gave out as he came with you. You breathed heavily coming down from your high. Bucky quickly undid the belt and rolled to your side.  He grabbed your wrists finding them a little red and kissed them to soothe any pain you had. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked him, “You look deep in thought.”

“I want you,” he whispered.

“You already have me,” you said.

“No, I… It’s nothing,” he stood up gathering his clothes.

“You gonna keep working tonight?” he asked, getting dressed.

“No I think I’m done for tonight.”

“Ok well good night. I’ll see you tomorrow, bunny,” he came up to you and kissed you deeply before walking out.

Bucky got back on his back bike parked outside hesitating slightly; he wanted to bring you home. He wanted to fall asleep in your arms and wake up next to you. But he didn’t know if you felt the same way about him; it seemed like it but that was your job. You indulge in men’s desires and fantasy. Maybe that’s all this was, a fantasy. 

What he didn’t know was when he felt you, you took your collar off and stared at it. You hated how much you cared for him. How you would do anything for him and he had no fucking clue. He had no idea how he made your heart flutter with every smile, every kiss, every little touch. You were so head over heels for him but you still think this is some fantasy he wants to play for the time being. 

Every night you leave after him, scared that it was the last. That you wouldn’t see him the next day because he’d grow tired of you and leave you for someone else. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“You wanna talk now?” Steve said walking into Bucky’s room. 

“Really?” 

“Come on. Something is eating you up and you're being reckless with your paycheck, sneaking out every night and coming back at what,” he looked at the clock on his bedside, “3 in the morning?”

Bucky simply rolled his eyes.

“Are you doing drugs?” he asked like a stern father.

“No! Ugh Steve.”

“Tell me what’s going on, Buck.”

Bucky sighed and hesitated but ultimately confessed.

“I’ve met the love of my life and she doesn’t know it. She probably never will and I hate that.”

“Buck…” Steve sighed hugging his best friend to comfort him.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“The situation is a little complicated; kind of a long story.”

“Well it’s not like either of us are going to sleep anytime soon. I’ll grab the whiskey.”

Bucky chuckled and sat himself down ready to tell Steve about the gorgeous woman he meets at the club every night and how she has him wrapped around her finger; a sickly man in love with a woman he can’t have. His perfect little bunny, Y/n.

[jean----ralphio]

BoB liveblog ep 3

Feelings. I’m having them.

Episode 3: Carentan, but I’m renaming it my heart hurts because this ep is so heavy but also I’m happy cos the best thing possible happens AKA the return of Rich

00:01 THE MUSIC. UGH. WHISKEY STAT.

03:02 These men, I can’t, stop doing this to me Tom Hanks, I feel personally attacked by the pain

03:18 My husband has just informed me I shouldn’t drink while doing these liveblogs because it’s “unhealthy” and “dangerous” and “please stop drinking my whiskey and crying about Gabriel from Supernatural.” First of all, he’s fucking lucky I’m not filing for divorce. Secondly, I need to cope SOMEHOW! “Yes, but I really don’t think alcohol is the best choice as a coping mechanism.” WRONG ALCOHOL IS THE ONLY CHOICE.

03:46 Blithe! Whatcha doing baby?

03:55 Shifty! My angel son is here!

04:21 Real talk, the first thing I ever saw Marc Warren in was this hot as fuck movie with Lee Williams, I’ll google it hang on. OK it’s called ‘No night is too long’, its based off a book. Marc Warren plays this hot professor and Lee Williams is a uni student and the sex scene montage is seared in my memory forever, and there’s a kiss in elevator and it is something else. That’s all I remember when I see Marc. His character in it was super intense and kinda scary, so it’s funny to see him playing Blithe, who is baby.

05:17 Aw Shift, my little angel baby son

05:32 Perco! <3

05:41 Lieb I’ve missed you <3 Luz <3

06:11 Oh Blithe, sweetie.

06:38 Like. He’s functioning. But he’s also not functioning. Same tbh

06:58 Harrrrryyyy <3

07:18 “No talking, no smoking, and no playing grab-fanny with the guy in front of you, Luz!” Iconic.

08:01 “And another thing to remember, boys, flies spread disease! So keep yours closed!” Oh Luz, never change

08:15 Love these few seconds, the fire and the water and the silhouettes

09:11 What do you mean again! How many times have you lost them, Harry?!

09:44 Yay the husbands are here. I’ve missed them. BUT YOU KNOW WHO I MISS THE MOST? RICH. WHERE IS HE?

10:40 You’re the yokel, sweetie

10:50 It’s OK, baby Blithe!

11:02 Look, Dad and his husband are here, you’re safe

11:27 Ugh that scene

12:00 I don’t like this, Dick

12:35 “WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO!”

               “I HAVE NO IDEA!”

               Iconic.

12:45 Move, boys! Listen to Dad!

13:11 BABY NO DON’T TAKE YOUR HELMET OFF!

13:31 Angel son, be careful

13:45 God how do they even know where to shoot?

14:08 Shifty! I said be careful!

14:09 God he’s good

14:23 No baby!

14:40 That was boss, random dude. Tipper?

14:50 Angel son

15:01 Boys. God.

15:40 Was that necessary?

15:41 Well, it led to that boss scene for one, I guess. Iconic.

15:57 Naw, Luz had a feeling <3 And he was right!

16:08 Leave them, baby

16:46 Buck lmao

16:57 Sweetie it’s OK! Oh no, baby ☹

17:10 Roe <3

17:18 Me too, babe

17:38 Ah, Lip! Speirs, come save him!

17:53 Lol poor Lip! Oh no, not the goods!

18:01 I’m happy for you, and Speirs, lmao

18:39 Yeah, you show that outhouse, Tip. It was looking shady as fuck to be fair

18:48 Oh fuck.

18:56 This bit though, the distorted sound… fuck

19:25 Oh Lieb <3

19:35 Lieb, you always try to pretend you don’t care and that you’re badass but you’re not fooling me <3

19:44 Baby, no, wtf are you doing?

19:53 IT’S RICH! OH THANK FUCK! I’VE BEEN SO FUCKING WORRIED. I’M SO PHYSICALLY RELEIEVED LMAO

20:02 My heart

20:27 God

20:34 Where tf did you find that horse?!

20:50 You named him fat boy??

21:02 Oh, honey. I can’t make jokes. It’s a stressful time for us all, me especially, due to the lack of Rich.

21:06 Nix. No.

21:10 Husbands <3

21:14 Baby! Nix go back and help.

21:23 He’s like ugh tf I don’t have time for this! Mood

21:34 This is the first time we hear Roe speak <3

21:43 Listen to him, Dick!

21:45 Hey Buck

22:22 Lord, thank you for Shane’s face.

22:31 Roe’s like wtf you gonna do?

22:55 Baby don’t cry!

23:32 You didn’t let anyone down! It’s OK!

23:43 Oh Dick called him son, I can’t

23:57 Dad healing vibes.

24:11 Dick is legit a Dad now. Is this how the adoption process works?

24:41 Roe is like tf just happened

24:53 RICH! RICH!!!! <3

24:59 Ew

25:05 Don’t touch it, Rich, yucky.

25:21 Oh God. Terrifying.

25:22 Riiiiich, I’ve missed you so much

25:30 Speirs just wants to get back to killing ASAP

25:37 Terrifying. Pretty. But terrifying.

25:41 Mood, Penk

25:56 Riiiich <3 He looks so golden in the sunlight <3

25:58 Paused here a while. His face is beneficial to my health and well-being, OK? Also, third whiskey

26:04 RIIICCH <3 He’s such a wind up. He’s so pretty and golden! Look at his eyes and his little lock of hair and his stubble, I can’t even.

26:17 I can’t. His eyes. Even in the shade you can see they’re so pretty <3

26:36 So much Rich content. I’m so happy.

26:59 Lord. I love Rich. But Matthew is a freaking fox.

27:10 *happy sigh*

27:20 Rich’s hair is so blonde here

27:28 Rich stop throwing things at people!

27:37 Blithe is still a wee bit batshit, but he’s still the only voice of reason in this little party, which is concerning.

28:19 LMAO LUZ “Oh Jesus Christ, Frank, I don’t know, until they tell us to stop.” He’s always such a mood.

28:38 Hoob looks like he needs a bath.

29:02 Move, babies, move

29:38 That day-night transition tho

29:52 Hey Johnny

30:02 Mood

30:07 Harry. Stop. Cute.

30:30 Johnny, I’m not sure I appreciate your little “You can count on ME sir” as if Harry can’t count on Blithe! Don’t be rude.

30:33 Harry! Fucking fall on him why don’t you!

31:06 Tell that to Ross

31:34 Dad’s here

32:37 Oh Harry

32:38 “War is hell” You little shit! Iconic

33:08 Oh God

33:21 Roe <3 He got there quick! I feel like he doesn’t sleep, that he just hangs around in the back waiting to run in and save people <3

33:27 Oh, baby ☹

33:32 Blithe, it’s OK. He looks so scared!

33:55 Johnny, I have several things to say to you. Number 1, how dare you look so hot in this lighting. Number 2, don’t be so freaking lazy! Number 3, leave poor Blithe alone! He is having a Difficult Time. God Johnny is so unimpressed with him tho.

34:35 I would be more scared to run into Speirs, rather than the enemy. He is more terrifying tbh.

34:46 So. Intimidating.

34:54 Nervous? Yes, case in point.

35:01 Oh Christ here we go. Welcome to the Speirs is batshit and murder-hungry show.

35:27 Lol at Johnny suddenly waking up cos he heard gossip

35:40 Goodnight Johnny ‘Unimpressed’ Martin ILY

36:06 Don’t kill him, please

36:33 GDI Speirs

36:53 Literally no one else wants to be like that, Speirs, just you.

37:58 God

38:33 I need to see Rich. I feel like he was back in that field with Malark but I couldn’t make him out properly and I am now Upset.

38:52 Dick is so boss.

39:18 Oh, baby, oh dear

39:42 Ugh, oh no

40:02 Noooo don’t abandon Easy

40:22 Dad’s here, it’s OK

40:57 Dick get down from up there, you’ll get hit

42:08 Lol at Harry

43:18 RICH

43:48 Nix just chillin with his binoculars on his hill the whole time

44:20 Naw Rich just got back with the ammo and now the party is over

45:05 Oh

45:29 I got chills, the way he just disappears

48:11 So touching

48:46 Harry’s not happy

48:57 lol they’re all like nope, don’t make eye contact

48:58 Aw Blithe levelled up, plus 1 courage

49:00 No, not my angel son, you leave him back where it’s safe Harry

49:28 Aw, Harry’s smile <3

49:59 Nix don’t be so crass

51:00 ROE <3

51:28 Aw Harry, it’s not your fault

51:52 I love this. Harry and Dick in the shade, the boys all chillin in the sun. It feels peaceful and like they’re getting some rest, but like it’s not comfortable. Both legit because they’re lying about on rocks and rubble, and like the general mood and tension. It’s not safe yet, and the environment reflects that and this show, I can’t with this fucking masterpiece of a show sometimes I swear

52:25 “That’s why I came to France. To please General Taylor.” Another zinger from Harry! Give me one line of his that is not iconic and I will give you my firstborn

53:34 Oh Blithe <3

53:56 Aw Malark <3

54:15 Dorks

54:53 RICH

55:14 Lol at Malark stealing Rich’s cigarette

55:19 Oh Lord, the way Dick’s face falls. God, that look. Also do you two husbands need to be that close? No, but please continue.

55:27 Babe <3

55:37 Aw the Dad club assembling is never good. Fun’s over.

55:44 Laughing Rich is all I need in this world

56:00 Bill stop groping him, that’s Roe’s job

56:04 Rich <3

56:13 Aw Babe has a new friend

56:16 Rich in the background <3

56:28 Oh Lip

56:31 That’s sweet of you Smokey

56:49 Lip <3

57:02 RICH’S FACE OMG

57:25 Poor Lip, having to do this.

57:29 RICH

57:36 OMG it’s an actual woman

57:48 Good on you Malark

58:07 Cute

58:17 So sweet

58:32 Oh God, this scene. It’s actually a little surprising she’s not figuring it out on her own

58:37 Oh, his face

58:57 Scott does such a beautiful job in this scene, portraying the emotion without much dialogue, not quite meeting her eyes when he should because he’s trying to hide his shock and sadness

59:40 Oh Blithe.

In conclusion I am happy and sad. It’s a very confusing time. 

[fvlminare]

✗✗✗   you see [ camille rivas ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis female ] is up to no good. [ she / her ] has been here for [ three years ] now but they’re still pretty [ calculating ] which is fine because they’re also [ ardent ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-six ] year old [ dancer at mayhem ] actually looks like a lot like [ sofia carson ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ the rush of cocaine in her veins & a vice grip on her throat ]. 

henlo it me again! i hope u guys aren’t sick of me yet bc here’s my other bb! say hello to my boss-ass bish gal camile! she’s sassy, classy and a lil badassy. she’s a rather feisty, fiery, ball of rage and anger who cba with ur bullshit tbh n she’ll tell u this too if u piss her off enough! she’s lowkey cutthroat and always out for number one, aka: herself. but, i mean, she does have some redeeming qualities and her hair is bomb af so that makes up for it all really, doesn’t it? basically that meme: ‘ she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll punch you in the face. ’ anywho, you know the drill, slap a lil luv on this n i’ll come pester u for all the good stuff : - ) 

fundamentals.

CAMILLE ALARA RIVAS     —     twenty-six, dancer at mayhem,   +   an honest-to-god vixen   /   hellcat   /   lil demoness ! 

aesthetics   ➤   dresses of black lace and red velvet, the scent of chanel perfume lingering in the air as she floats past, blood-red fingertips coiled around the pistol grip of a gun, red-bottomed heels clicking against marble floors, rose gold highlighter shimmering along the height of prominent cheekbones, satin dresses draped over a svelte frame that is shrouded in an air of mystery and intrigue, baby pink roses in a vase on the window sill, deft fingers stained with charcoal and oil paint, the melodic chime of piano keys, delicate digits adorned with moonstone gem rings, a coy smile spread across full crimson lips, long raven locks blowing in the cool breeze of a summer’s evening, battered books with dog-eared pages, a sense of freedom and carelessness when dancing for fun, & a sense of allurement and captivation when dancing for work.

nicknames. cam, cami, mil, millie, spawn of satan >:~)

date of birth. april tenth.

gender. cis female.

pronouns. she + her.

birthplace. manhattan, new york.

orientation. pansexual + demiromantic.

education. bachelor of dance degree obtained from nyu tisch school of the arts.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, spanish, & latin.

negative traits. capricious, ornery, impulsive, guileful, caustic, brusque, obstinate, destructive, deceptive, & promiscuous.

positive traits. ardent, whimsical, intrepid, graceful, poised, elegant, headstrong, observant, independent, & confident.

strengths. optimistic, energetic, creative, practical, spontaneous, rational, knows how to prioritise, great in a crisis, & relaxed.

weaknesses. stubborn, insensitive, private, reserved, easily bored, dislikes commitment, & has a rather risky behaviour.

talents. ballet, knife throwing, hand-to-hand combat, horse riding, figure skating, piano, violin, painting, singing, & dancing.

physiology. hazel eyes. dark brown hair. five feet, four inches tall. of a petite, slender stature with subtle curves and long hair. has a long silvery scar on her back. her skin is clean of any tattoos. has both earlobes pierced. requires glasses but wears contacts most days. is right-handed.

psychology. aries zodiac. fire element. ravenclaw house. istp-a. true neutral. type seven enneagram. choleric temperament. intra-personal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and abandonment issues. her vices are lust, greed and wrath. her virtues are ... ( again ) honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers   :   child abandonment, abandonment issues, foster homes, alcohol, drugs, violence, gore, blood, murder, & death.

a synopsis.   ok so for this gal, let’s all give a big, warm welcome to sadness ( no, i was in no way at all inspired by salem from sabrina for that line ) bc boy oh boy, her life has been constant grief and pain, tbh. strap in for the bumpy ride, i’ll give u cookies for compensation. OK SO, camille was abandoned as a baby, never did—and still doesn't—know her biological parents and she doesn’t want to either, tbh. she bounced around from foster home to foster home, never sticking in one place for too long. given her turbulent upbringing, she was somewhat of a difficult child. too boisterous, too unruly, too stubborn, too inquisitive. too much of everything but never enough of anything. never enough for anybody to want her. it didn’t take the girl too long to figure out that it was just her alone, against the big bad world. from the age that she was old enough to realise it, camille knew that she had to fend for herself—that she could never truly rely on a single soul but herself. the hollowness inside her chest never quite satiated, leaving her empty and only too well aware of the lack of her real parental figures. as a young adolescent, this started to crawl under her skin and mess with her mind. it rendered her void of affection and unable to form genuine bonds with others—filling her with deep-rooted resentment that festered beneath the surface of the indifferent demeanour she plastered over herself every day. she always felt starved of love: as if some integral part of her heart was missing, leaving a gaping void that nobody could ever fill. anywho, she fell in with the wrong crowd which did little to aid her foster families hostility toward her. truthfully, most of her experiences in various homes were ... not pleasant. she’d encountered abusive ‘parents,’ horrible ‘siblings,’ and even worse schooling days. pressing the self-destruct button is this gal’s speciality thus she found herself gravitating towards her vices: things and people she knew were no good for her. drink, drugs, people, you name it. quickly, she realised that these things were no longer any good at keeping her dark side at bay: she needed something more, something deeper. thus, she began going down the road of petty crimes—stealing cars, smashing windows, theft, setting fires both metaphorically and literally. due to this lifestyle, she wound up entangled with some real shady folk who did … even shadier things. most specifically, she started dating a real jackass who was violent and truthfully, a horrible person, really. stupidly, she decided to run off into the metaphorical sunset with him * insert eye roll emoji here. * so, fast forward a year or so and things took a swift nosedive when her lowlife boyfriend’s hands were round her throat and not in the kinky way. while she’d clawed at him and tried to fight him off, she struggled against his weight and strength until, eventually, she lifted the first makeshift weapon she felt: a rusted pair of scissors. [ TRIGGER FOR VIOLENCE, GORE, BLOOD, MURDER, DEATH ] and, in a blind state of panic, she jammed them right into his jugular vein, his blood squirting out and decorating her face in crimson splatters. he’d stumbled backwards, clutched onto his neck, blood spurting from the webs between his fingers. naturally, camille was shook about this but somehow managed to flee the scene with less guilt rattling her soul than she’d imagined. [ TRIGGER OVER ] in her mind, it was an act of self defence. it wasn’t too long after the incident that she found herself in a rather perilous situation that resulted in her sudden realisation that she needed to get her damn life on track. therefore, she done the responsible adult thing and got herself a decent education. somehow, she managed to get into university where her life started to shape into a positive one—the kind she’d always dreamed of. once she graduated, camille decided that she wanted to see the world. following a couple of years travelling, she wound up in santa ysabel where she quickly fell into the employment of mayhem. admittedly, this was a far cry from the future she’d envisioned when she was just a sweet, innocent lil child. still, all in all, she kind of digs who she is and what she is: after everything she’s been through, she loves herself. it’s been a long and winding road but camille finally believes that she’s settled in her life now. tho she still refuses to let people in, her abandonment issues terrifying her to the degree that she feels that anybody she’d ever let into her life would eventually leave her in the end. * insert sad face emoji here. *

random extras.

her tell? playing with her hair: when she’s lying, nervous, flirting—you name it!

can drink any man under the table. 

she loves art in every form: paintings, sculptures, music, dance, people, etc. she loves the freedom that expressing herself through these mediums gives her.

she’s ... experimental. she’s experimented with just about everything: hairstyles, clothing, drink, drugs, people ...

can be hella calculating and vindictive so do not cross her.

quite power-hungry tbh.

she does have a shot at redemption but she doesn’t want it lmao. she’s already been to hell so why bother trying to right her wrongs?

and boy, are her wrongs a century-long list shkjsh.

high key is not above killing people who don’t do things her way.

doesn’t believe she’s capable of loving anyone.

she’s lowkey a perfectionist to the point of being ruthless, also cutthroat and egotistical.

if ya ain’t of use to her, then what the heck is ur purpose???

she’s v ambitious, v morally ambiguous, v self-serving and v self-involved.

she can be ... aggressive sometimes and most definitely has anger issues.

dry sense of humour one million per cent.

her signature look is her blood-red lips.

extremely skilled with knives and blades. and always carries one on her person at all times.

her most prized possession is her brushed chrome zippo lighter. it has her initials engraved into it and where she got it from, or who is something she’ll never tell.

always says she needs to quit smoking but never does and probably never will either.

did someone say ... resting bitch face???

tho when she smiles it’s like sunshine uwu

high key will sleep with anyone.

first place is the ONLY acceptable place, ok??? 

one of those people who just excels at everything she tries her hand at.

absolutely adores animals. much prefers them to humans.

she’s quite adventurous and loves to feel the adrenaline in her blood.

doesn’t take herself or her life too seriously.

always up for a good time and is usually the life of the party.

outspoken and quick-witted with a sharp tongue.

much too sassy and sarcastic for her own good.

really, she does what she wants to, when she wants to, without seeking the approval of others.

truthfully? she’s a bit of a spitfire if you really irk her. so, watch out.

you can find a pinterest board for her by clicking anywhere here.

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Big News

Summary: Sarah and Ava have big news for the groupchat.

WC: ~1.5k

[Other Bekker renamed the chat “HOUSE PARTY”]

Other Bekker: it’s official

Other Bekker: i own a house

Other Bekker: with my WIFE!!!!!!

Bekker: We’re throwing a housewarming party and everyone’s invited!

Dr. Lanik: What’s the dress code

Other Bekker: casual if you wear a suit ill kill you

Ethan Choi: When? 

Bekker: We were thinking it would start at around six or seven? It would mean a lot to us if Crockett could make it.

FreeWilly: Will there be alcohol?

Other Bekker: some of us are sober. No

no-ah: I’m in

Maggie<3: Wait who’s sober other than Crockett?

Dr. Lanik: Me

Other Bekker: me

connor: @OtherBekker there was an open bar at your wedding

Bekker: Circumstances change

Ethan Choi: This is such a fun conversation. Let’s not have it.

April: So back to the party… details!

Other Bekker: ill send the address in a bit but its gonna be potluck style. Everybody brings food. itll be pretty casual so dont be that asshole (@Dr.Lanik). starting at six ish and ending at maybe 10 or 11 depending on how tired we all are

Ethan Choi: Crockett’s program usually ends at like 5:30 so we might be a little late?

Other Bekker: ok sounds good. how is he btw

Ethan Choi: Pretty well. He’s outpatient for another few weeks and then his doctors are going to discuss long term options. Hopefully he’ll be back at work soon, too

April: Tell him we’re proud of him?

Ethan Choi: As soon as I pick him up tonight.

-

Sarah: are we telling them tonight?

Wifey: I was thinking so, yes. I mean, we have our house, and the paperwork went through.

Sarah: im so excited

Wifey: Me too, honey

-

Nat: Not to alarm anybody but whoever’s in charge of Connor right now, come to treatment 4

FreeWilly: love the implication that we take turns babysitting him

Dr. Lanik: We kind of do. I think it’s Maggie’s turn.

Maggie<3: I’m not at work. Who’s next in line?

April: @QueenElsa

Queen Elsa: Fine

connor: im a big boy i can take care of myself

Nat: You literally have a concussion

Ethan Choi: Why?

Nat: He fainted after a surgery. His sugar is low on the finger prick and he said he hasn’t had any water since his shift started

Dr. Lanik: @connor We’ve talked about this

connor: ok boomer

Dr. Lanik: @connor Stop calling me a boomer! We’re the same age!

connor: ok

connor: boomer

Bekker: Can you grow up @connor

connor: no

Queen Elsa: Update for everyone, Connor is getting a CT. He’s eating a Snickers bar right now and we’re pushing fluids

FreeWilly: youre not you when youre hungry

Dr. Lanik: @Bekker @OtherBekker What day will your housewarming party be? My daughter’s birthday is Friday.

Maggie<3: IM SORRY YOUR WHAT

Other Bekker: ?????

Bekker: We were thinking Saturday.

April: @FreeWilly Did you know about this???????

FreeWilly: uh yeah?

no-ah: Why did none of us know you had a daughter?

Dr. Lanik: I just don’t see how it’s any of your business.

Nat: How old is she? Who’s her mother? What school does she go to? How did we go this long without knowing?

[Dr. Lanik has sent an image to the chat]

Dr. Lanik: This is Emma, she’s almost eleven, and this is the most information any of you will ever be getting about her.

Ethan Choi: Well this has been a wild ride

Other Bekker: now taking bets on how crockett will react. $10 says he thinks its a joke

no-ah: Coward. He knows everything. $20 says he already knew.

Other Bekker: youre on

Queen Elsa: ...Anyways, Connor’s CT came back alright. It’s a minor concussion; he’ll be fine soon. 

Maggie<3: That’s good

Dr. Lanik: @FreeWilly and I will look after him.

Ethan Choi: Just picked up Crockett, he says hi. He also has letters for each of you as part of his process

Nat: That’s sweet

Ethan Choi: I have been assured none of them contain nudes

Other Bekker: thank g-d

Ethan Choi: I’ll be giving them to you all at work.

Ethan Choi: Crockett will be cooking something I won’t even try to pronounce for the housewarming party

Other Bekker: his cooking is all so good...

no-ah: It slaps

Queen Elsa: Is it that pasta thing??? With the crawfish????

Ethan Choi: Honestly, I don’t know.

Nat: Owen and I are bringing cookies.

Bekker: Important question, @Dr.Lanik… will Emma be coming?

Dr. Lanik: No. I don’t want her near any of you.

connor: hes got a point

Maggie<3: Have you never, in your life, had to bring her to a doctor?

Dr. Lanik: We use East Mercy so that you all keep your noses out of my life.

FreeWilly: ouch

April: I mean, if I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want any of you near her either.

Nat: Harsh, I trust you with my son

April: You’re different.

Bekker: Do I hear wedding bells?

Nat: @April What if we kissed in the doctor’s lounge… and we’re both girls?

Nat: Haha just kidding

Nat: Unless…?

April: Did you just hit on me with a meme

Nat: Did it work?

Other Bekker: another win for the gaydies

Other Bekker: THEY BOTH JUST WENT INTO THE DOCTORS LOUNGE JHGFKHFRH

Ethan Choi: Crockett laughed 

connor: do you read these messages to him?

Ethan Choi: Sometimes. He likes to be in the loop.

FreeWilly: hot take but. we could just add him back to the chat?

Ethan Choi: He’s not ready for that yet, but he does like to be updated on your lives and one-on-one texting is stressful for him

Other Bekker: we spend more time talking about crockett now than we did when he was in the chat

no-ah: Sweet I have my Crockett letter

Ethan Choi: I'll put them in your lockers. My shift is starting so I'm turning my phone to silent. 

Other Bekker: Crockett Time

Bekker: Did he write me one?

Other Bekker: @Bekker both mine and yours are in my locker i think. one is for "blonde bekker" and one is for "brunette bekker"

no-ah: That's what he has your contacts saved as 

Queen Elsa: Mine is just a smiley face sticker in an envelope?

Other Bekker: jsyk we should probably keep these private! this is important to him

Maggie<3: I'm so excited to see him again on Saturday, I've missed him.

FreeWilly: He's been busy. I think his program is like eight to five every day but Sunday

Nat: What's that even like?

Other Bekker: they have an in house aa group that meets a few times a day and theres a ton of other support like therapy to get to the root of the problem. i mean before he got sober the first time he was self medicating 

Other Bekker: he does a lot of art therapy i think. when he was inpatient he kept mailing paintings to my wife and i 

-

Curry (Not Dr.): Hey, it's Elsa Curry from Med. Sarah gave me your number. I was just wondering why you gave me a sticker?

Crockett: dont u put them on the inside of your binder? the one u put ur case notes in at the end of ur shift 

Curry (Not Dr.): How did you know that?

Crockett: u pull ur binder out when ur stressed to reference old cases. i thot u might like another sticker so u know ur not in this alone

Crockett: :)

-

[crickett has renamed the chat "dick bros"]

crickett: @connor do u wanna fuck again this weekend lmao

connor: ???

connor: i thought that was a one time thing

Ethan Choi: It doesn't have to be. 

-

Maggie<3: @Bekker @OtherBekker Sorry I'm running a little behind! I couldn't find my keys

Bekker: No harm, no foul!

[Bekker has sent an image to the chat]

Bekker: Definitely hurry, we're having so much fun!

-

Crockett: baby

HUBBY: I'm sitting right beside you.

Crockett: ik but im feeling kinda overwhelmed 

HUBBY: Do you want to go home?

Crockett: i think i just need air will you cover for me if someone comes looking

-

Other Bekker: THANK YOU @Maggie<3 FOR ACTUALLY HELPING CLEAN UP 

FreeWilly: sorry!

connor: sorry ahhhhhh i didnt think about it 

Nat: Congrats again, you two, this is huge!

April: ^^

no-ah: Will we get to meet her, or will she be a secret like Laniks daughter?

Bekker: You'll all definitely get to meet her, but let's not do so much at once? Adjusting to a new home is hard, and from what the adoption agency tells us, she's had a rough go of it.

no-ah: Of course! 

Queen Elsa: No little girl could have a better home! Congratulations on your daughter and I wish you really good luck. If you ever need help, we're all here!

Dr. Lanik: She's about eight, right?

Bekker: Yes

Dr. Lanik: If she needs help adjusting, let me know, and maybe Emma and I can help. She was about that age when I adopted her.

connor: the Lanik lore we are getting today omg

Dr. Lanik: You'll both be great parents, and @OtherBekker don't hesitate to let me know if you need extra time off. This is a big deal and you shouldn't have to stress about work when you should be worrying about your family. @Bekker I'll also ask Dr. Latham to be lenient with you as well.

Other Bekker: thank you from both of us <3

connor: who knew lanik had a heart. 

[alishasboe]

Its Time We Talked About Tape 9: a rant

this is long, idk how it got this long but yeah, it did and i’m #MAD

ok let’s fucking do this, i’m so angry at this stupid storyline. first of all, to clarify the narrative in the book aka source material - the party is not at jess’ house, it’s some random person from their year, it is confirmed by hannah that jess and justin barely know each other, this is just another party hook up... so, pretty much happens similar to in the show up until justin leaves to stand outside the room. bryce shows up, hannah doesn’t name him or jess only justin, he tries to open the door, he's like ‘let me in’ and justin shuts the door and is like ‘no let her sleep’, then he says, as a joke, ‘it won’t be any fun, she won’t move, she’ll just lie there’ and bryce is like ‘i’ve gotta go to work, i only need a few minutes with her’ and that’s ALL it takes and justin lets bryce go in, so much so that bryce does a double take, he’s like lmao seriously, it was that easy? and when it’s over, hannah sees justin sitting in the bedroom next door, completely in the dark and he looks very sad. (now catch me if i’m wrong but i swear to god, and i haven’t been able to find it since reading for the first time, but there is a bit where hannah says she asked justin about it at school and he refused to do anything about it? i’m not sure but i swear i read it but idk)

NOW let’s clarify how the fucking SHOW fucked justin foley over more than he deserved. ok lets get down to business friends. so justin leaves jess when she says she needs to close her eyes for a few minutes, and he stands outside the door. bryce is like ‘come play beer pong’ and justin refuses on the premise that he’s hanging around for jess because she’s super drunk... meaning, she can’t defend herself, it’s her own bedroom, and he wants to stop anyone from going in there to take advantage of her. bryce says some shit like ‘i bet you had some fun with her’ and if you fucking watch justin his whole expression changes in that one second, and he looks disgusted with bryce for even implying that he would take advantage of jess while she was drunk. and bryce goes ‘can i see?’ he goes to open the door, and justin stops him and he’s like, barely able to even form the sentence, ‘dude, she’s... she’s my girlfriend’ wholeheartedly he knows bryce is trash at this point, he wants to tell him that she’s unconscious, or wasted or sleeping, but that would do fucking nothing to stop bryce, so instead he hopes that jess being his girlfriend will stop bryce, that bryce would respect him that much to just go away and not do this. but bryce doesn’t.

now here is when it gets technical. bryce says ‘what’s yours is mine’ right, and justin won’t even meet his eyes, and end flashback from justin’s point of view. now the scene is very jumpy to imply that justin is drunk, he doesn’t remember everything but there is nothing to imply that what happens in that scene is a lie, that justin is lying. it is legitimately his memory, because he isn’t recounting this to clay, he feels guilty even for this. right? ok so swap to hannah’s point of view, when bryce walks into the room, you can hear (and there is subtitles of it) [body thuds] and the sound of someone being shoved, or falling, right outside that door in perfect timing for bryce entering that room. so, you get my drift? justin didn’t give in to him and bryce shoved him out of the way, and justin, being fucking drunk and terrified because bryce wanted to do something and justin had no idea how to stop him, took a moment before he stood up. NOW we go back to justin’s second flashback and when it begins he isn’t standing at the door?? like you would expect someone who just let bryce walk into the room without argument, without a fight, just gave in? no it takes him a few steps to get back to the door, he was SHOVED!! and the show never mentions it, just implies it! so i ask, does being extremely drunk and scared, being shoved out of the way mean that justin is responsible for “letting” jess get raped by bryce? does he deserve endless hatred and disgust from everyone at liberty?? 

he recovers moments after being shoved out of the way, he knocks on the door, he is hoping that bryce just wanted to look, he is genuinely trying to convince himself that bryce would never want to do this, no one answers so he goes back in and see’s bryce lying on top of jess (which, not to get fucking mad again but in 2x12 justin’s testimony says that he saw bryce “standing over jess” but when you see the scene in his memory, bryce is clearly on top of jess... so obviously, these writers have never watched their own show #confirmed) he goes up and he’s all calm, he’s like ‘c’mon dude get off her, leave her alone’ and bryce gets REALLY angry, and can we please just remember in this moment that justin grew up his whole life being physically abused by aggressive and awful men and so when bryce shoves him out, justin protests but he doesn’t fight back because he knows he can’t win. he’s terrified. bryce shoves him to the ground and he waits 0.01 of a second to shut the door and lock it, and if that’s what we’re supposed to see as justin “letting” it happen, then that’s FUCKED up because he’s drunk and he’s scared. that really fucks with your head. your reaction time is slower, and your brain activity is slower because alcohol fucking does that shit. and when you’re scared you go into fight/flight/freeze mode and it’s very obvious throughout the show that when in danger justin freezes, he doesn’t fight back and he doesn’t run. he just freezes. he tries to get up. he does you can see him try and move but it’s difficult. and he just starts to cry. same thing he does when he gets choked by seth in 1x12. and so obviously he thinks of what to do, he admits in 2x12 that he did consider calling the police, and calling for help, but he was afraid. and so yeah, what if he had called the police? well its not like the cops were AT the party? by the time they got there jessica would still have been raped, and nothing would have changed. even if justin managed to stand up and get help? bryce would have violated jessica? he had legitimately no way of stopping what happened in that room...

so does that mean he “let” jessica get raped? that it is his fault that she was raped? ... this traumatised kid who was sexually assaulted in his own bed at FIVE and it went on for years, this kid who loved a girl so much, this poor lonely kid who had never had anybody love him except for the two people in that room. and putting aside actual details and specifics, rape is the rapists fault, and the fault of an accessory who wants said thing to happen and stands by and actively lets it happen when they could easily have done something.... eg. monty, kenneth and taylor raping tyler. THAT is an accessory to a crime, not justin being drunk and scared and trying to stop bryce but having his own trauma resurface... and it’d be great if the writers understood this. Here is the thing: with everything that the show has revealed post tape 9, it’s completely fucking unreasonable to keep up this demonisation and disgust toward justin’s actions that night out of trauma... the show wants us to empathise with traumatised characters, we’re supposed to forgive angry outbursts like alex MURDERING bryce, and moments of panic like jess witnessing his murder, or clay going bryce’s house with a gun because he's all fucked up, TYLER LITERALLY TRYING TO SHOOT UP THE FUCKING SCHOOL DANCE because he's been raped... but the writers somehow drew the line as justin’s lifetime of emotional, sexual and physical abuse making him understandably scared as his best friend raped his girlfriend...

and you know fucking what? if the show had kept this narrative from the beginning, that it’s forgivable and understandable that justin was scared, that we can see him work through his own trauma, and that he was also a victim that night, he was hurt and he was betrayed and he made a mistake, he didn't commit a crime, that he should not he hated for what he did, he is not a monster, he is not despicable or irredeemable. he didn’t LET anything happen to jessica. he TRIED to stop it but he couldn’t. if the writers but as much effort into getting the audience to understand why justin froze as they did hannah, they would be doing more for mental health advocacy than they’ve ever done. justin would not be a villain. people would fucking get it. they would empathise. but because the show points at justin in tape 9, and fucking says “he is a monster” viewers believe it, because they can’t see past the one dimensional narrative. there would be argument, people who wouldn’t understand, but if they took that narrative from the beginning, it would still make sense. 

it’s gross to antagonise a 16 year old boy for panicking in a situation no one ever teaches you about. where are the 10 step plans on what to do when your best friend who you rely on for your entire livelihood comes into your girlfriend of two months who you really love’s bedroom at a party to rape her, while all involved are drunk, and you’re a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and have been physically abused and neglected your whole life? hmm? where are they?? the show preaches moral ambiguity but then pulls this shit and wants you to think justin is the Worst™ ever for what happened in tape 9... hannah and justin were in the exact same position but no one ever says that hannah “let” jessica get raped? where exactly is it different? both of them never told jessica the truth as well?? on the phone call in 2x08 you can see how hard it is for him when he lies after she asks him if they hooked up... like i’m sorry but yeah it wasn’t fucking great but jessica was RAPED and of all people justin knows how humiliating and painful a memory that is to live with, so understandably he didn’t want to be the one to ruin her life? he thought he could keep her safe, he never thought he was letting a fucking rapist get away, and yeah, he feels SO bad about it and it was a mistake that he can rightly be held accountable for. but he didn’t do it maliciously. he didn't keep it from her cause she said something nasty to him, or because he thought she deserved it, or because he didn’t understand the pressure or any bullshit like that. he knew more than anyone. hannah got raped and she killed herself?? wouldn’t you want to take the awful memories away from someone you loved if you could? he stupidly let bryce walk free, and he hates himself for it, but he didn’t do it to protect bryce. he did it to protect jessica, and himself. he’s not a monster. he's not on the same level as bryce, or monty... nowhere near it in fact.

if they wanted us to see justin as responsible for “letting” jessica get raped then SHOW us him doing something irredeemable. we can watch a whole fucking rape scene but... we can’t just have a second long clip of justin letting bryce open the door? of him getting up off the floor, shrugging and being like “this might as well happen” ?? give us a reason to believe he did something wrong even despite his trauma because that isn't OKAY. not demonising valid fear responses from a csa victim and abuse victim. in the book: justin lets bryce in. he doesn’t go in to stop him. he doesn’t fight back. he doesn't cry from behind a locked door... valid reasons to call him out on it. justin in the show? confirmed abuse victim, went back in to stop bryce, is never confirmed to have actually let bryce go in, or let bryce do it. we can’t hold justin responsible if we don’t hold hannah responsible. it glorifies suicide to escape your mistakes. justin is paying for his AND hannah’s mistake through a life worse than death: addiction. and he doesn't fucking deserve that punishment. 

and lastly, on how also this storyline is fucked up. the whole show is like ‘victims need to tell their story because it’s theirs to tell’ but hannah LITERALLY tells jess’ story to 11 other people before jess herself even hears it... and is willing to let that shit go fucking public as manipulation? regardless of whether the story is true or not, jess and justin wanting to keep clay from doing shit about tape 9 isn’t evil and didn't deserve to be antagonised as much as it was... a girl was raped, and clay didn't understand the impact of that. every other person on those tapes who helped justin keep clay quiet did it for their own purposes. justin only did it because jess was scared and because bryce could have come after her or done something if he found out about the tapes. 

anyway. i cannot physically type anymore and i probably have more points to be made but i just can't remember them. if you made it this far. congratulations.

[leatherbookmarking]

OK SO WELCOME 2 GUSU LIVEBLOGGIN because i reblogged but didn’t comment, like a little worm,

(from ch1)

1. lxc listening to (i assume) mainsteam radio warms my heart to no end

2. god!!! i’ve been sitting in the same place since i was born, essentially, but the feeling of returning to a beloved place!!! is v nicely shown here.... dreamy sigh i went to one (1) summer camp (? trip? who knows) and hated it 65% of the time but let’s blame that on me being 11 and not entirely into the concept of “rich kids in a catholic school” concept (lmao guess what junior high i went to 2 years later) BUT based on this into alone (and quarantine yearnings) i would 100% abandon everything and fuck off to gusu at any given moment

3. lan zhan is so protective of gusu hhhgggggg i am soft like tapioca pearls

4. i am soft like overcooked tapioca pearls... the way camp elders act with lwj is so ughhhh and “zhanzhan” ZHANZHAN!!! MOM I DIE

5. (through tears) WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN FEEDING HIM, XICHEN

6. (while vibrating) family dynamicsssssss

7. “Wen Qing unceremoniously shoving Huaisang over to be able to sit next to Wangji“ i love a girl

8. loving how lwj chooses not to ask re: mysterious new staff member when he’s still in the car with xichen, yknow? so he can react to it in peace and privacy, and then, as everyone’s like, oh you KNOW, considering who’s joining us this year! (lwj internally: who) oh don’t you know yet! (lwj internally: WHO. WHO!!!) wouldn’t you like to know!!!

9. wei ‘of course i am not experiencing any negative emotions, what are you talking about, i am SMILING, see? happy!” wuxian strikes BACK oh how i love this stupid boy

10. i vaguely remember you saying something something i don’t want to write serious stuff, they’re xianxia characters in a summer camp setting!, and then i was like OH HO BUT BY ALL MEANS, and then you did, and then i’m like :’’’’’’’’’’’’) it’s fine.jpeg hurt me!! hurt me with sixteen years old boys on a summer camp!!!

11. back 2 the present and xichen once again wins the mvp title. “alright, here’s the thing--”

12. ALRIGHT, HERE’S THE THING

13. baby

14. “Xichen,” he repeats, almost desperately, but everyone else clearly sees the opportunity to leave this particular situation“ SITUATIONAL COMEDY AT ITS FINEST!!!!

15. absolutely in love w/ how everyone takes one (1) look at lwj and decides ha! this sounds like a he problem! bye!!!

16. even xichen

17. ESPECIALLY XICHEN!!!

18. MIANMIAN MIANMIAN MIANMIAN being tiny!!! hugging lan zhan!!! i love you!!!

19. “you’re the one getting shorter” okay ao MAYBE my heart burst in my chest from sheer tenderness, but also maybe it DIDN’T. can you prove it? thought so!!!

20. tapioca update: it didn’t go well. however! if you ever need wallpaper glue,

21. picturing jc wrangling nhs fills me with so much joy also

22. GOD!!! wwx standing on top of the stairs!!! time stopping!!! ‘oh no he’s hot’!!!! LAN ZHAN YOU GAY DISASTER

23. lan zhan: Processes how hot wwx has gotten

wwx: STILL THE DEATH GLARE HUH :’D

Do I Have To Say Anything

24. “Wei Wuxian tries to match his death glare, a very valiant attempt for someone with a face as animated as him, and gives up about three seconds later, bursting into laughter“

CUTE!!!!!!!

25. THE EXODUS!!! AH THE DRAMATIC EXODUS!!!!! i am a BIG slut for “ugh you HAD to come back and LIGHT A FIRE IN MY CHEST AGAIN, you ASSHOLE >:/” moments, the SLUT LEVEL in me overshadows jin guangshan’s, i am QUEEN SLUT for moments like those B L E S S

in which we move onwards to ch2. will i embarrass myself further with excessive exclamation marks? let’s find out!!!!

26. “wow. you’re doing such a good job selling me this“ i was already in heart eyes over the bros but this line just!!! lol

27. IS LAN ZHAN GOING TO BE THERE

28. [DRAFT]!!!!!!!!!

29. lan xichen is having at least as much fun as i have with this situation, and i love it

30. but he does have the courtesy to look ashamed

31. from time to time :-)

32. but not always :-)

33. lan “brother i love you but you and wei wuxian should be KISSING as we speak so don’t you ‘you didn’t’ me :>” xichen

34. “do you remember how many rules he broke” you sure it’s just the RULES, my boy

35. i’m honestly, honestly really loving lxc here. like yes the two main idiots are delightful but... zewu-jun.... cute....

36. “all the other things his head is suggesting he do“ SNORT is “sit on the floor and sulk about wei wuxian daring to exist, and like this” one of them gfkhgfsk

37. “surely there’s no way in hell xichen would“ xichen, as soon as wangji went to his cabin: please. please. PLEASE

38. the part about crown shyness is tiny but so pretty. i feel severely lacking in summer camp tree trivia now

39. “And then Wangji sees him, and all rational thought promptly abandons him for dead“ wangxian summed up in one sentence (jk)

40. SO UH IS HE SINGLE i wholeheartedly enjoy wwx being Whacked

41. “when Wei Wuxian recalls the people who used to, and still should be, standing by his side, he only meets with a dismissive ‘Long story’ from his brother, and a somewhat nervous ‘I’ll tell you later’ from Nie Huaisang” oh? oh??  oh??? OH?????

42. oh yeah i forgot 2 mention before but lwj playing the guitar makes me feel... things... like yeah string instruments BUT guqin is so fancy and dignified, meanwhile guitar is... somehow... i mean of course lwj is a pro and makes everyone swoon playing the easiest chords but the THING is guitar is such a friend-shaped instrument... i need to lie down hold up

43. A NING A NING A NING A NINGGGGGGGG THE BOY IS HERE!!! making wwx almost inhale his harmonica no less! king of powerful entrances, truly

44. “what really happened to Nie Huaisang’s older brother, who was once ride-or-die for both Gusu and Lan Xichen (he got a job very far abroad, that’s all Wen Ning knows, and Wei Wuxian promises himself he’s going to pour some alcohol into Huaisang eventually to make him spill the beans)“ vibrates, at the speed of a hummingbird’s wings

45. the grass scene is wonderful 2 me for two reasons: one, WWX PLAYING A BLADE OF GRASS. i just watched a yt vid in which a dude does make it actually play, which is amazing, but my experience consists mostly of emitting one PTWEEEEET and making everyone almost jump out of their skins. good times! two, the contrast between this scene and the one in ep2... cql: wuji.mp3, slowmo, passionate gazes, wtg: wwx torturing a blade of grass, STILL making lwj (wayward) come to him. true love!!! truly true love!!!

46. yells @ wwx’s cute habit still being present

47. the following scenes are too gentle and sweet for me to formulate coherent thoughts.... i’m just sitting here, chihanding, sighing dreamily, thank you, bless

48. “Lan Zhan he once knew is still in there“ ah, sensei, sorry, i won’t be submitting my thesis this year.... i need at least six months to cope with this sentence... ご迷惑をかけて申し訳ございません

49. BABY WANGXIANS bonding over rabbits... lan zhan looking almost proud when wwx mentions his big brother...

50. “WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT SUMMER, YOU AND I” OI!!! WEI WUXIAN!!! WEI YING!!! is it legal to be so (gestures) CUTE at the tender age of nine??? hm???

[themoonglitch]

2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 11, 12, 15, 17-30! lmao you don't have to!! I know it's a lot, but thank you for whatever you can answer :D

I’m going to answer to AAALLLL of them but since it’ll be a very long post, answers are under the cut ;-)

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

Usually I prefer to stay at home for holidays (especially for Christmas) but I like to travel and visit other places in my country or outside. For example the last summer I’ve been to Austria and I fell in love with that country!

3. does your country have access to sea?

Oh yess! The Mediterranean Sea is awesome! I’ve never seen the Adriatic Sea tho but people say it’s awesome as well even tho there are a lot of seagrasses.

6. most hated song in your native language?

A popular song from some villains who stole and raped in the name of the Resistence, I can’t say more because, in Italy, if you aren’t one of them, you’re automatically flagged as “fascist” (it’s dumb I know but that’s the way it is).

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

Northen European people (that I love so much), for example, I can’t recognize people from Finlands, from Norwegian people. And Asiatic :(  I can recognize pretty well Japanese from Chinese but for example, I’m not good recognizing Korean people or other countries from Asia.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

GERMANY!!!!!!! Germany! Germany!! oh and I’d like to know and visit more Austria.

11. favourite native writer/poet?

Dante Alighieri

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?

I’ve never read an English translation of La Divina Commedia so I can’t really say

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

“pioggia a catinelle” in English “it’s raining dogs and cats” but catinelle means buckets   

I’m sure there are more saying or jokes or whatever that only italians can get but I can’t think one :(

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

In Italy we study a lot of history about our country and other places. My fave parts are about Ancient Greece and the Roman Empire, I also like the Medieval history of Italy that has been full of many talented artists in many fields.

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

Just a bit but I understand it pretty well

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

I’m ok with our flag but I don’t like much our national anthem and just a few people know it all (we always sing the first 2 or 3 lines... very sad)

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

Sadly it’s soccer/italian football :(

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

Probably 2 famous paintings because we had so many great painters and art is universal.

Probably something from Leonardo Da Vinci and from Caravaggio

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

I’m proud of my country’s history, we’re here from “always” xD and art! Painters, poets, writers, sculptors and many others made my country great and famous all over the world. Italy is very small but anyone knows its name.

I’m truly ashamed of nowadays italians. When I’m in other countries I always try to make myself unrecognizable as “italian”. Many italian people are rude, unpolite, ignorant and boors. They think only about soccer and do nothing to better themselves and our country. So I’m proud to be italian but I’m also ashamed to be somehow.

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

Vine!!! I love Italian vines and I prefer red ones over the whites but I can drink both according to what I’m eating or the occasion.

We also have some good beers but german beers are better xD

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

France!!! They hate us and we hate them, that’s the way it is.

And U.S. xD #sorrynotsorry

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

Sometimes I’d like to but honestly, I’m happy to be part of this nation (mainly because of its history, art and culture)

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

I’m really disappointed by the way Hollywood/American media portray Italy and Italian people. We’re famous for immigrants and mafia but those people are only a small part of Italy/Italian culture and they’re all from the South of Italy.  In other parts of Italy, the Middle and the North, people are far different. Plus people who traveled to U.S. decades ago, today are really different.

27. favourite national celebrity?

Errrrr... uhhhh.... do we have celebrity? (I mean one we shouldn’t ashamed of)  I dunno... Leonardo Da Vinci does count? I’m not really involved in nowadays popular culture, sorry.

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

Oh yes!! We’re small but we have everything! I love Alps above everything else.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

We have xD 

I live in Genoa and in the past history, it was one of the Maritime Republics. At that time Genoa was called The Superb and we’re a bit stuck on it. As a maritime town people are a bit wary with strangers so when in summer tourists (mainly Milan and Turin) come to our beaches, we call them “foresti” (dialectical word for strangers) and start complaining about them taking our room on the shores. xD

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

Nope! We’re all Italians :)

[jichew]

kim seunghun♡soulmate!au

a/n: this took….WAY TOO LONG to finish. I apologize if this au is not as cohesive bc I did write it over the span of a few weeks lol. Thank you all for waiting so patiently and feel free to leave any requests as I will be free to write this weekend!!! mwah♡

so,, in this alternate universe exists the soulmate tattoo

yes, i know so creative ;w;

essentially, you are born with the name of your soulmate tattooed somewhere on your body

and you have the absolute pleasure of having the name kim seunghun tattooed in cursive across the expanse of your right hip

spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway,,, you’re kind of asjsdjkSAD

bc seunghun is such a common name??? and you’ve met so many seunghuns???

but NONE of them are your soulmate :((((

you would know,, considering u basically ripped a guys shirt off when he told u that yes, his name was kim seunghun but no, he did not have ur name on his hip

uhh but that’s a story for another day :,)

anyway,,, ur kinda bummed??

and it’s gotten to the point where you’ve almost lost all hope of finding him

。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

but anyway ,, life goes on I guess

SO

you’re yedam’s older sister by about 3 years

( sorry forgot to mention that important detail )

you both go to the same high school!!!

ur a senior and he’s a FRESHIE

obviously,,, hes a BABY（≧∇≦）

so ur super protective of him

and when you find out he’s been hanging out with some ,, QUESTIONABLE individuals at school

mom mode: activated

“dammie who r these kids”

“MOM, we’re part of dance club together!! they’re super nice i promise”

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

u just want your baby to stay safe u know??

so when he asks to invite his friends over to practice

you’re like ( ˘ω˘ )

yedam: (◞‸◟)

you: (　˙-˙　)

sad yedam is a big fat NO in this household

so you have no choice but to agree

and as his unofficial mom, you decide to greet his friends !

“hi, i’m y/n! bang y/n!” ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

and like ,,,, you lowkey feel bad thinking his friends were bad bc most of the guys are pretty chill

like this byounggon kid??

the epitome of looks like he wants to kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll ( ^ω^ )

but when you get to the last dude ,,,

he just kinda ~looks~ at you

and ur not gonna lie … he’s HOT

like he’s only wearing a hoodie ,, but he has silver hoops lined along his ears,, and his hair just messily grazes across his forehead

you internally: *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･’(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)‘･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

uhhhh but also he’s staring u down like he wants to kill u

“i’m hun” he introduces himself coldly

(._.)

he still cute tho

so,,, it’s been a while and yedam has continued to bring his friends over to practice

and you’ve come to grow fond of the boys!!!

esp byounggon :,)))

you guys just click???

except,,,, there’s still a certain blonde haired boy who just doesn’t seem to like u???

like u were walking to ur class the other morning

and you just HAPPENED to see him

so u were like,,, hm let me be a nice person today(＾ｰ^)

so you run up to him and grab his shoulder

“hun!!! what’s up my guy!!” ( ＾∀＾)

honestly,, you went in to this thinking that the only thing hun would do is say hi back???

you: WRONG

he kind of freezes for a second

and you’re like???? u ok bud

he slowly turns around

and his eyes,,, literally pierce into yours

he gingerly takes your hand from its grip on your shoulder, letting it limply fall at your side

and then he slowly walks towards you until your back is pressed against the white brick wall of the hallway, his hands caging you in on either side of your head

slowly, he inches his face towards yours

“stop faking nice to me, we are not and will never be friends”

you internally: hnnngg why does he smell so nice???? is that bath and body works? since when did men shop at bath and body works??(΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)

you externally: HMPH how DARE U invade my personal bubble young man i won’t hesitate to FIGHT(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭

and then he walks off

“FUCK YOU TOO HUN!!! I BET THAT’S NOT EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!! I HOPE U THINK ABOUT WHAT U DID WHEN U GO BACK HOME YOUNG MAN” ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

you are a BIG MAD

like??? who does this kid think he is???

you dont really bother talking to him much after that :///

but also ,, you hate yourself bc you’re still so ATTRACTED to him??? and u don’t even know why??? like bad personalities are such a turn off why ,,???

hmph

ANYWAY

so it’s a saturday night ,,

u know what that means…

party @ byounggon’s place ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bc what’s a bullet point au w out a party am i right???

basically, gon’s parents were on vacation for the weekend, so he took the chance to have the party of the year

and after the stress of exam season, you’re ready to get SMACKED

lmao i do not support underage drinking kids!

uhhh anyway

this is your first party in a ,, while

so you dress yourself up in a red mini dress and some platform heels and strut your hot ass to gon’s house ;)

by the time you walked up to the house,, it was a full fledged RAGER 😤

so like one second,,, you’re just chilling, shaking your hips to some britney spears

and the next thing you know!! you’re downing your fifth shot of the night

“GON I THIBJK IM GONNA THROW UP”

gon: Σ('◉⌓◉’)

the next thing u know you’re in the bathroom bent over the toilet

(;´д｀)

thankfully,,, you don’t puke

but you do drink atleast five bottles of water and take a power nap on gon’s shoulder

anyway ,,, by the the time you’ve slightly sobered up, you realize your head kinda hurts and the party is still going strong but u promised gon you’d stay to clean up soooo

you end up going upstairs to NAP (ᵔᴥᵔ)

but when you open the door to the guest room at the end of the hall,,,

you just HAPPEN to see hun already there on the bed scrolling through his phone

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

this man rlly just knows how to push ur buttons huh

if you weren’t so tired maybe you would’ve taken the time to appreciate the way his leather jacket complimented his broad shoulders

like not 2 be rude but this bich looked hella good

but also ur tired :///

“what are YOU doing here”

hun finally looks up and notices you standing in the doorway

and he doesn’t say anything for a while

just kinda stares at you

and it takes you a while to realize that he’s lowkey checking you out

you wouldn’t admit it, but the way his eyes glazed over your form made a pit form in your stomach

finally he locks eyes with yours

“what do you mean what am I doing here, what are YOU doing here?”

he smirks and gets off the bed to step closer to you

“i WANTED to take a NAP but you just HAD to take the only room that doesn’t have people FUCKING” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

“well it’s not my fault you can’t handle your alcohol”

this BITCH

“can you PLEASE just leave”

“no”

you let out a sigh of frustration and square your hands on your hips

“why do you hate me so much”

“i never said i hated you”

“well the way you act sure makes it seem like you do” you huff

hun cocks his head a little and steps closer to you

suddenly, it seems like the idea of personal space is almost nonexistant

you look up at him

and u notice the way his hooded eyes rest on your lips

and how the air around you both has suddenly gotten heavier

and you feel your body heating up

and you realize that maybe,,, you’re not so tired anymore

“well how about i prove to you that i don’t”

hun’s voice has reached a whisper, his lips only centimeters from yours

and suddenly he’s kissing you

and you’re kissing back

perhaps it’s because you’re not completely sober that you don’t notice the way his touch burns your hip

and if you do, you ignore it

the softness of his lips against yours almost makes you feel drunk again

and the next thing you know, he’s taking off your shirt, hands finding their way to the curve of your waist

as your lips make their way down his neck, you allow yourself to do the same to him

( you wish you didn’t do that )

because as you push his shirtless body against the bed, you can’t help but notice the cursive scrawl lining his right hip

and in that moment, it feels as if you’ve never been more sober in your life

you’re frozen, eyes resting on his hip

and maybe hun, or should we now say seunghun, is not as sober as he seems, considering it takes him a while to track down the path of your eyes

and when he finally does, his heart drops in his chest

he reaches out to grasp some part, any part, of you

but you flinch away

“y/n…. this isn’t what you think it is”

his eyes are pleading you to stay and listen to him

you let out a harsh laugh

“no, no this is EXACTLY what i think it is”

“y/n please don’t -“

and suddenly you’re untangling yourself from the bed sheets, haphazardly throwing your shirt on and slamming the door behind you  

and in that moment you realize that maybe soulmates aren’t as perfect as the world makes them out to be

so the rest of the weekend is spent in your bed,,, wrapped up in ur sheets like a burrito

you don’t really cry much

you’re just ,,, confused

having the idea that your soulmate knew you were his soulmate but never told you, and better yet, acts like he hates you??

(◞‸◟)

yedam: y/n, why have u been laying in bed all day (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

you: ;w;

and as much as dammie wants to talk to you, he has more emotional intelligence than most guys his age (or guys in general tbh)

so he pats your back, makes two bags of popcorn, puts kimi no na wa on his laptop and gets under the covers beside you

it isn’t until the end of the movie when the last of your tears have dried on your face that you look up at him with puffy eyes

“dammie, i found my soulmate”

yedam: Σ('◉⌓◉’)

“it’s not that big of a deal… i don’t think he  wants me anyway”

by the time you reach the end of the sentence, your voice falls into a whisper

perhaps you would like to believe seunghun wanted you

but some things don’t turn out the way we believe

“why would u say that” yedam looks down at you, brows furrowed in worry

“uhh, i mean -“

“WAIT … who even is your soulmate??”

you:👀🍵

“it’s … hun”

“W H A T”

and that, my friends, is how yedam realized u can’t trust people in this world :/

so it’s monday

and as you brush your teeth, you can’t help but feel uneasy knowing that you could possibly see seunghun today

thankfully you don’t

but when it’s finally nighttime and you’re making your way under your covers ,,,

unknown: y/n, open your window

unknown: i’m outside and it’s cold

unknown: this is seunghun btw…

you on the outside: what the FUCK

you on the inside: i’m literally wearing basketball shorts how am i supposed to see my soulmate like this (O_O)

and when you pull back your curtains and open your window, you are met with none other than kim seunghun barreling into your room

“how long were you out there??” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

“uhhh maybe an hour or so” m(._.)m

and perhaps it’s the motherly side of you that decides to pull his face down and cup his cheeks in your hands in an attempt to warm him up

and you don’t really notice how close you’ve gotten to him until you look down and realize his lips are only centimeters from yours

but when seunghun’s lips form into a little smirk at your obviously flustered state, you quickly retract your hands

“i’m sorry…”

you don’t really make a move to respond to seunghun, choosing to stare at the floor instead

“I know what i did was stupid … and i should have told you from the start… but i’ve had bad experiences in the past with soulmates and i didn’t know if -“

“that doesn’t matter, you should have just told me that you didn’t want me in the first place instead of making me feel this way”

you’re a bit pissed off now

that this dude thinks he has the right to act like that and then barge into your room??

but when you take the time to look up at him

his eyes have softened

and he moves a step closer to you

“i do want you though”

… “ w h a t “

“then why have you acted so rude to me?? when you obviously knew i was your soulmate from the start, why did you hide it??”

now seunghun is the one looking down at his hands

and he looks so defeated, before he opens his mouth

“i’m scared”

you look up at him, but he’s still looking down at his hands

“my dad rejected my mom when he found out they were soulmates. i don’t think … he wanted to deal with the commitment of having a soulmate. he thought they were stupid. so he rejected her and he went off to do whatever the hell he’s doing right now. he went off and he abandoned my mom with two year old me and we haven’t heard from him since.”

a single tear drops from his eyes

and you move a step closer and wrap your arms around him

he’s frozen for a second but he hugs you back

and you both stay there for a while, you rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down

“i won’t ever leave you seunghun”

he pulls back

and despite his red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, he cups your face with his cold finger tips and kisses you

and you kiss him back

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck season 2, episode 7 reaction

Goddamn, Druck. I’ve been dragging my ass with the rest of the S2 reactions because honestly, the content is pretty rough and rewatching it requires a certain amount of emotional fortitude, lol. 

Anyway, here’s me putting myself through S2 hell so I can catch up to recap S3 hell!

Episode 7

Clip 1 - Interesting choice of entertainment

As I mentioned in the last reaction, I thought we might start with Mia calling off their relationship, as if last night was her way of saying goodbye to Alex, getting in just a little more time together because she did as Kiki asked. But obviously that wasn’t the case, because Mia and Alex are very much still in bed together.

They are sitting up and watching a movie on a laptop. In the movie, a woman kisses another woman. We cut away to Alex and Mia sitting there stiffly, sneaking glances at each other, as we hear the scene get sexy, with zippers unzipped, lots of panting and wet smacking sounds. Both of them clearly getting turned on by this video. Alex shifts and I think he covers his lap a little more, lol. He shifts closer to her and “subtly” puts his hand out for the taking. I love that Mia notices and smirks a little but doesn’t seem to take his hand. 

This whole part of the scene was so weirdly true to life, lmao, if you’ve ever ended up watching a film that was more explicit than expected with someone. I had a friend who ended up watching Y Tu Mamá También on like a first or second date, neither of them knowing what the movie was about, and it was apparently very awkward.

Finally he turns off the film and kisses her. She leans away eventually and starts asking him about the scene - whether he was turned on by her or the scene. He’s like … both? He asks whether Mia watches porn and she says yes.

There was some debate about like … whether it’s in-character for Mia to watch porn or whether it’s hypocritical of her to do so as a feminist, and I don’t want to even get into the larger debate about whether porn can be feminist because holy shit is that a can of worms, but whether or not you think it’s compatible for Mia to watch porn with her being a feminist, people do a lot of stuff that isn’t 100% in line with their ideals. A lot of feminist criticism also opposes makeup and believes it to be a product of patriarchy, but Mia wears lipstick anyway. So just on the level of whether this is consistent with her as a character, i don’t think it’s wildly OOC.

There was also a lot of (understandable) debate about them watching a lesbian sex scene while still dodging a clear answer about Mia’s sexuality, especially right after Kiki made that comment about Mia being bi in the previous night’s clip, which again went unanswered. By the end of the episode they did give us an answer, but watching in real time made it feel more like they were drawing out the answer. I guess I’m wondering just why they chose to do so? Was it to tease the audience, or were they trying to find a way to drop the answer in naturally (because I can think of places where they could have done so earlier), or was there intended to be a reason story-wise that Mia’s a little vague? Is it just because it’s related to her romantic history, and it’s difficult for her to mention? Because she could mention her bisexuality without talking about specific relationships, although it’s true people might ask whether she’d ever been with a girl.

I think the most likely reason is perhaps that the Druck team didn’t expect just how much people wanted from them about Mia’s bisexuality, and they wrote in more scenes mentioning it after they saw fan reaction.

About the video they’re watching - it’s called Wach and it’s apparently by Funk (the channel that does Druck). You can watch it on YouTube although it seemed kind of dreary so I confess I didn’t watch much of it, lol. If it’s really good and I’m missing out, let me know! Anyway, the movie’s about two girlfriends but in the scene Mia and Alex are watching, they’re having a threesome with a guy. Not sure if there’s any bigger significance other than the nod to something else from Funk, and nudging at the topic of Mia’s sexuality, or the sex topic between Mia and Alexander.

He suspects she has a bigger reason for asking and draws a question mark on her forehead. This dude needs to take improv classes already, that’s clearly where his heart lies. Also, I think Mia might be asking why he’s turned on to get his opinion about two women together? I mean, I guess that could be the in-universe explanation why the talk about her sexuality is a little vague is that she wants to see how he’ll react first.

They have a pillow fight and she shoves him out of bed, he runs back into the room and tackles her and they roll around. WATCH THE LAPTOP! Eh, I guess Alex can afford another one.

They’re playful and cute. Things get heated and he slips his hand to crotch level, which makes her shake her head and back off. He asks her what’s allowed. LOW BAR, I know, but at least he doesn’t pressure her to go father than she wants. It’s sad and I don’t want to praise him for showing basic human decency, but William’s comments when Noora didn’t want to sleep with him, saying it was a funny joke and such, or that he’d managed to sleep with her soon anyway, always bothered me, so I’m glad this wasn’t recreated in Alexander.

Mia gives him the finger, and then adds another, which is deeply fucking iconic, and we end as he slides his hand down her pants. Well, damn. A big departure from Noora, not so surprising because Mia has a lot of differences from her (such as drinking alcohol when Noora did not). Part of me is proud of Mia for being upfront about what she wants and setting boundaries for what she doesn’t, the other part is like ohhhhh nooooo, girl. You told Kiki you’d break up with him, you don’t want to go any deeper with him! (...pun intended.)

Clip 2 - Bubble bath

Mia and Alex are taking a bubble bath together, lying at opposite sides. That’s quite intimate. They are doing some types of The Sex at this point even if it is not The Whole Shebang so maybe not surprising, but certainly we’re seeing their physical relationship escalate as a faster pace than Noorhelm. They seem comfortable in there together. Alex says they should stay in there as long as they can. Like, days. Well, if you can tolerate pruning, cold water, and marinating in your own filth for that long, go for it.

Mia offhandedly mentions Alex’s grade retention and he looks tired and not ready to talk about it. That water just got a few degrees colder.

He asks why she’s so cautious, if it’s because of Kiki. Mia lies to him that she talked to Kiki and everything’s cool. MIA, NO. Really???? Not a good idea. You’re not only disrespecting Kiki with what you’re doing now, and lying to your friends, but now you’re lying to Alexander, too. I know that she probably just wants to stay in this bath and in this bubble of Alexander’s apartment where everything’s OK and she gets what she wants and no one is mad and her personal life isn’t messy, but this is not the way to go about it. 

OH SHIT he actually asked about negative experiences and whether that’s why she’s bi. Errrr, is he implying that she likes girls because she’s been burned by men? YIKES. Mia tells him that statement alone is reason enough to only date girls from now on. Okay, so is that confirmation of her bisexuality? (I guess if I have to ask, probably not the clearest it could be.) And she says that she could also ask why he only does one-night stands and moves fast. He says it’s complicated. So basically, despite becoming more intimate, literally lying here naked in this tub together, both of them still have some friction, both aren’t completely opening up to each other. 

She chides him for his so-called hard life, with his nice car and apartment, and he reminds her that this is his sister’s flat, and we finally get an answer of sorts that his sister is in Bali. (By now we know the truth, but when this aired I wrote in my notes: “Super dark theory: the sister is dead and he means they scattered her ashes in Bali or something like that.”)

He talks about it’s hard with his parents and then says he wants to get out of the tub as the water is getting cold, which is one hell of a turnaround from wanting to stay in there for days like a minute ago. Mia says things are difficult with her parents, too, and she’s sorry. That makes him lie back down in the tub. Tension averted for now. They fist-bump. I guess their couple thing is hand gestures? Like Jonas has Hanna’s nose, meanwhile Mia and Alex are just flipping each other the bird and knocking knuckles. I can get into that, they certainly have a lot of options.

Clip 3 - Truth or dare

Mia and Alex step outside and turn off airplane mode on their phones. So they’re really hiding from everyone, huh, not even letting text messages come through. This is shady as hell that Mia’s doing this when she told Kiki otherwise. She’s lucky because this is holiday break, but she can’t camp out in Alexander’s apartment away from the rest of the world forever

Mia told the girls she was ill. DUDE. All of them were worried and checking in on her. I wonder how many of them truly believed her and didn’t have any suspicion of what she was really doing? Kiki in particular seemed to wonder how she was doing, and I’m not sure she totally bought Mia’s excuse. But whether she did or not, that must make Mia feel a ton of guilt. (Though she still doesn’t break up with him...)

I love this shot of Mia and Alex looking so small and uncomfortable once they stepped outside, like it’s overwhelming and harsh to leave their bubble.

They go back inside because it’s cold, or because they don’t want to face the outside world, and Mia is pensive. She spins around the thermos like it’s spin the bottle (and lmao when it lands between them, fixes it to point toward Alex) and says truth or dare. I wonder why she chose that moment to get some truth between them? Because she feels guilty about the lies she told her friends? Because she wants to know this thing she’s lying to them about is worth it, and that means she has to open up?

He says truth. She asks, “Why me?” He says it’s because she knows who he is. Which true, if you assume he means all the way from when she told him off about Kiki back in season 1. She’s been pointing out his flaws all along. And I mean, maybe he has a shit opinion of himself, but she wasn’t wrong about him (at least not entirely) and she didn’t fall for an idealized version of him, Alexander the rich bad boy with the cool car who’s the most wanted guy in school. She saw through that and she saw him at much of his worst, and yet somehow she’s here anyway. And I don’t know if this is exactly what he meant, but she also knows him in the sense that they have some things in common, like dealing with difficult parents, being Christmas orphans, etc.

Mia directs the thermos at herself and says truth. Bold move considering she knows what he’s probably going to ask; she’s really just ready to talk to him about it, and this is maybe an easier way to do so, framing it as a game. Alex takes a moment to think about what to ask and then asks why she’s so cautious. She tells the story of when she was 13 and she had a crush on her friend’s older brother, who was 18. He paid her a lot of compliments and she thought he liked her. He pressured her into sleeping with him, she didn’t want to but did it anyway, and then he never texted her again. Some people are school knew about it. She felt bad about herself and couldn’t talk to anyone.

The age of consent in Germany is 14, making what happened to Mia statutory rape. This adds perhaps even more impact to Mia reporting Bjorn later in the season, because it doesn’t sound like the first guy faced any repercussions for what he did; with Bjorn there is hope that justice will be served.

I think this explains a lot about why Mia was cautious about Alexander in particular, because he’s the kind of guy who was feeding girls compliments, sleeping with them, and cutting them off. Didn’t Alexander compliment Kiki’s stomach or something? And then of course Mia had a front-row seat to him ghosting Kiki after sleeping with her, and then seeing it all happen again like a slow-motion car crash. I really, really hope this makes him think about what he was doing with girls before Mia. Remember how he tried to justify himself in episode 2 about what he did to Kiki, not making her promises and saying how he couldn’t have torn down her self-image all by himself? Here he sees the long-lasting effects of that behavior on someone. Just think, there are probably Mias out there who will end up telling their stories to someone else, and the guy they’re talking about will be Alexander.

Alex is about to turn the bottle back to himself, but Mia stops it and says she also had a thing with a girl that ended before she came to Germany. No details on why it ended, if it was something really bad or more of a mundane breakup. Since she’s not going into details, I’m assuming whatever happened wasn’t horrible, but I’d still like to know more details about it.

Could they have handled Mia’s sexuality better? Yes, of course. But at this point I was just glad they addressed it directly. It would be nice if they touched on it in the future: we haven’t yet had the build-up of Matteo living in the flat, or being rescued by Hans, but with both Hans and Mia being members of the LGBT community, it would be really nice if they were able to support Matteo, and then we could hear more about Mia’s sexuality, too, like her past relationship, how she realized she was bi, etc.

He says no pressure, they have all the time in the world. THANK GOD. Low bar, I know, but I also still think there’s value in showing men being respectful and not pressuring women into sex? If you consider that the target audience is teen girls, this is a message that they need to be hearing - that they are allowed to set sexual boundaries and that boys have to respect them. And for teenage boys, while Alex has done a lot of messed-up stuff regarding girls, this part can still be used as a model for respecting boundaries and getting consent.

Clip 4 - I bet Hans and Linn ate the soup later

Mia and Alexander are in Mia’s room, ostensibly trying to study but very clearly hot for each other and making this a kind of foreplay. However, they don’t get very far until Hans comes into the room. He asks whether Alexander made “grumpy cat” angry, lmao. I love that nickname for Mia. He flops on the bed as if checking out the view of Alexander. Hans, what about Michi??

UNFORTUNATELY the doorbell rings and Linn opens Mia’s door, saying there’s a girl with soup. We hear Kiki’s voice. UH OH. Damn, Mia didn’t even really have time to like, try to shove Alexander under the bed or anything, did she? 

Alexander says it’s totally OK with him. Um, I bet it is. Would be a great opportunity to be like, hey Kiki, sorry for dumping you on NYE? Although he doesn’t look totally OK with it, though that might just be because Mia is so visibly worried.

Lol, Hans thinks for a moment, clearly recognizing Mia’s distress, and then strips off his robe and throws it over Alexander, and hey, he was the only one doing anything smart in the moment? Maybe not honest, but smart? OK, not smart, but it was ... something. 

Well, Alexander ain’t up for hiding under a robe, he takes it off as Kiki walks in with a big pot. She eyes Alexander and Mia, saying she made soup. She looks stunned at first, but then gets pissed and says it’s one thing for her to fuck up and apologize, but this is the worst. I have to agree, honestly. Mia put the burden on Kiki to tell her what to do, and then she didn’t even respect Kiki’s wishes. And then she lied to everyone. After that whole performance with cooking Kiki a nice dinner to talk about how sorry she was? This makes it seem like Mia just doesn’t give a shit about Kiki’s feelings, her crying and apologizing was an act to make Mia feel better, not Kiki.

I wonder if Kiki was really thinking Mia broke it off, or if she wasn’t suspicious. Like she was definitely suspicious after Sam put it out there a few episodes ago, and some of her moves were kinda calculated toward figuring out the truth. The soup may have been genuine goodwill, but maybe she also wanted to see if Mia was really sick, or if she was hiding something. Kiki did look very shocked when she saw Alexander, but maybe she was telling herself that no, Mia wouldn’t lie, Mia meant what she said, Mia cares about her. So this moment was confirming her worst fears.

Kiki angrily puts down the bowl of soup and I have to give her some credit for not throwing it or dropping it, which is what I was expecting.

Alexander asked her why she lied, and Mia says she doesn’t know. Errr, not a great answer, Mia. I have an idea why she lied. She wanted the moral high ground of “making things right” but didn’t want to actually give anything up. She wanted to ignore or run from the problems instead of dealing with them.

Mia says she can’t do this to Kiki. Alexander is pissed. Honestly, I can’t blame him for that. He has his flaws, too, for sure, and has been a shit to Kiki, but he also asked Mia if things were OK with her and Kiki, and she said they were, and now he’s finding out they weren’t and she’s using that as a reason to break up. I’d feel pretty betrayed. She also gave them a few days where they were extremely open with each other, took their relationship to the next level physically, got vulnerable with each other, and after that, she’s calling it off. When she knew all along that it was a bad idea - like she could have nipped this in the bud at the benefit concert. Instead it’s like she dawdled and made their relationship more intense and meaningful before ending it for a reason that’s been there the whole time, which is so much worse. (For Alexander, a dude who doesn’t get close to people? Even worse.)

Mia has massively fucked up but from a story perspective, I don’t mind it? I mean … that’s good for the protagonist’s growth. I like how messy Mia has been. I think it takes her off the “perfect girl” pedestal. 

Clip 5 - Panic attack

Mia is lying in bed in the dark at 21:00, so you know, she’s called it an early night. I feel you, girl. She reads her texts from earlier, where she and Alex flirted and discussed him coming over to study. How nice things were just hours earlier. No new messages. 

By the way, I can see the tear streaks on her face when she’s in bed, nice detail.

However, after she puts it down and rolls over, her phone lights up. She checks it and Alex is telling her to come over. Typing in all caps so it seems extra urgent.

As she’s running to Alexander, you hear some heavy breathing and rewatching the scene, it definitely sounds masculine, but when I first watched this clip I was so surprised by this development and why Alexander needed Mia that I wasn’t paying super close attention (also not watching with headphones), and I thought it was Mia’s breathing as she’s worried and running out the door. The reveal that this is Alex’s heavy breathing during a panic attack really stunned me. It adds so much tension to the scene as Mia is running to his place, obviously heavy breathing is something that reminds you of dangerous or tense scenarios.

She runs up the stairs to his place and his door is open, the lights are dim. The way the camera follows her is really disorienting, it’s hurried, it’s shaky. The lights make everything eerier - it’s dark and the sign on the wall makes the room pink, it’s not unnatural. Watching Mia run through his apartment trying to find Alex feels like navigating a maze.

Mia calls out for Alexander and eventually finds him in his underwear in a corner, sobbing and hyperventilating. You can see him clearly in the light but there’s still something unfocused about it. Mia grabs a paper bag from the kitchen and has him breathe into it. He’s crying and saying he wasn’t there. Holy shit, this is a panic attack?

Mia holds him as he cries and gasps for breath. He asks her to stay, she says she’s not going anywhere. She makes a joke about it still being 50 euro with breakfast and he manages to laugh.

This pose at the end is definitely giving off Pietà vibes.

The camera goes from extreme closeups as Alex is gasping to pulling back once he lays in Mia’s arms and calms down a bit, once he’s able to breathe and laugh at her joke. Like we’re getting breathing room. The music also goes from really tense to something more gentle once he relaxes in her arms and she says she’ll stay.

Goddamn. So instead of Mia having panic attacks/trauma, it’s Alex??? It was Noora who was panicking in OG, but we’ve switched the roles, Mia is the one to calm down Alexander. 

Props to Druck for showing a dude having a full-blown attack like this, in a very non-glamorous and vulnerable way. Panic attacks in general can be pretty visceral and they’re not pretty, and I think some media shies away from showing male characters in really fragile states like this. And it’s definitely a reversal of a lot of media gender roles to have Mia the fully clothed one who’s “in control” helping out Alex, the half-naked, sobbing and shaking one. And for this not to be portrayed as something weak, but something healing. Also, big props to the actors. Chris Veres didn’t hold back in this scene.

This clip really got to me, especially as someone who has experienced panic attacks. The earlier scene with Kiki discovering Mia and Alexander together had ratcheted up the drama, but this was one of those clips where I couldn’t really do anything else after I watched it for a little while, it had gotten under my skin that much. It’s hard for me to unpack it. Even rewatching it unnerves me, though Mia’s gentleness and compassion, and the ending where she says she’s not going anywhere, make the experience more uplifting. Bravo, Druck. 

I think it helped that it was so surprising too, like we already got a very important clip earlier in the day, and it was the drama we were all expecting, the next step in the Kiki/Mia/Alex situation, but this definitely was not what I was expecting next, both in that it’s a divergence from the original storyline and that I figured the next clip would build on Mia dealing with estrangement from both Kiki and Alex.

Clip 6 - Giddy up

Mia wakes up in bed with Alex the next morning. I like the contrast here from the last scene, just what a difference the daylight can make, feeling so much less threatening, and I like Mia’s reaction, as if she’s taking in all that happened last night. She looks at a Polaroid picture at the side of the bed, of Alex and his sister. The fact that it’s beside the bed tells you how much Alex probably looks at it and misses his sister.

Alex stir and wakes up. Heh, the crinkles of their pillows and sheets are so damn loud? I kinda love it, though, it reminds me of how good it feels to slowly wake up after a good night’s sleep. He tells Mia that he had a dream where he was feeling bad and cried in front of Mia, weird right? Mia agrees. It’s very quiet and they’re whispering. Comforting, talking about it and acknowledging it without having to go into the ugly details right now. And Mia isn’t grilling him over why he was having a panic attack or anything, just being gentle. She strokes the hair behind his ear and kisses him. They kiss softly and it gets a little more intense until Mia reaches for the jar next to Alexander’s bed and grabs a condom. They smile and Mia sits up on him and takes off her shirt. The music helpfully proclaims, “I’m a cowboy” so I mean, we know what position they used. Not surprising Mia would be on top.

I have zero problems with Mia and Alexander having sex sooner than the season finale, as with Noorhelm, although I was kinda like … is this reeeeally the best time to take this step, kids? Not because of Alexander’s panic attack, but more about Kiki walking in on them and finding out, and Mia thinking she can’t do that to Kiki, and what the hell they were going to do. It felt like they had a lot to talk about. But even so, I can definitely see why Mia felt it was the right time to take this step. There was no way Mia was leaving Alexander after last night, and clearly they care about each other a ton. It must have felt not just like waking up in the morning, but that they survived the night. The panic attack made Mia realize the total depth of her feelings, I think, and so I can fully see why it led to increased tenderness and intimacy.

Comparing Mia and Noora, Mia has trust issues and a bad experience with sex like Noora, but William did more stuff that would’ve broken Noora’s trust and made her question her feelings for him before they had sex. Noora and William kissed, then William was cold to her in front of his brother, so Noora was upset, then they made up, then William smashed a bottle over a guy’s head, then Noora was upset at that and questioned whether she could be with William, then before they could get back together, Niko happened. Since they’ve kissed, Mia hasn’t really had so many reasons to be upset with Alexander himself - it’s all about the situation with Kiki putting stress on their relationship. So I can see why the sexual element of their relationship, and the relationship as a whole, escalated much faster; Mia had more time to build up trust with him without that getting interrupted.

Clip 7 - Crew love is true love

Hanna and Mia are in the bathroom and Mia’s been telling Hanna how fast everything has gone in the last few days. It sure did! By the way, Hanna’s looking very pretty.

I like how they went from the cowboy song in the previous clip being a non-diegetic song and transitioned into this one as a diegetic song, with it playing at the Abi party now. That kind of stuff is clever, and it’s smoother than just choppily switching songs between scenes.

Alex is going to therapy now, which I love. I love that we have the Bad Boy Rich Dreamboat character seeking professional help for his trauma, I love that Druck is mentioning therapy rather casually, normalizing it. It’s not something that’s considered shameful or embarrassing, just a potential avenue for help. Mia says she doesn’t think it was his first panic attack, but she doesn’t really know why. (I’d understand if people were ehhhh about Mia telling all this to Hanna if you want, like IDK if Alexander gave her permission to tell people about his panic attack. Mia and Hanna seem to be pretty trustworthy about stuff like Matteo’s sexuality and they’re not trading it as juicy gossip, but I would get it.)

Hanna says Jonas also won’t talk to anyone, not even Matteo. Ohhh no. That boy might need some professional help, too, if he’s that much of a mess.

Hanna’s totally hugging turtleneck guy/not Gereven when they enter the club. Mia looks around and sees Kiki with Carlos. KIKI, TREAT HIM RIGHT. CARLOS, TREAT HER RIGHT. Kiki glares at Mia. 

Carlos gets a drink the same time Mia does and says, “What’s up Judas?” Not gonna lie, that’s mean, but it made me laugh. He does the typical “ugh girl drama BITCH FIGHT” thing, and lmao, I can’t help but think of like Jonas/Toilet Sam tussling in the stairwell in S1. Yes, it’s all girl drama, boy fights just don’t exist, ever!

Carlos is like, it’s none of my business, he doesn’t want to get involved, but he’s getting involved (lmao) and tells her how Kiki was in a very bad state the last few days, and says it would be a good move to smooth everything out. He’s like, good talk, and walks off. Without paying either, lol. Mia pays for him. Well, I guess she has some groveling to do. God, that talk was ridiculous but benevolent of him? He’s looking out for Kiki’s well-being. 

"Two angry birds” aka Sam and Amira (and lmao I love that nickname) come up to Mia. Indeed, they look angry. Mia says she’ll make it up to Kiki. I mean, she should probably apologize to the other girls, too, for lying and putting them all in this awkward position where they’re torn between friends.

Heh, there’s some banter among the girls about Sam being the only one who’s single and when Amira is like helloooo, Sam says she has Allah. Although it’s played more as a joke, this follows the same pattern of people disregarding the Sana character as someone who can have romantic relationships and feelings. She doesn’t count in the conversations about who in their group is alone and who’s not.  

Mia follows Kiki to talk to her. She apologizes and Kiki just looks annoyed. I don’t blame her considering that Mia’s last apology with the dinner turned out to feel hollow, all words but not backed up with actions. Kiki points out she was a hypocrite. I love Mia and I feel sympathy for her, but Kiki is really really not wrong.

Maybe this is obvious, but I’m seriously just realizing how close this situation is to Eva/Jonas/Ingrid in S1 (or Hanna/Jonas/Leonie), even more than Vilde, Noora, and William were to that situation. Mia fucked it up with Kiki to a level Noora didn’t with Vilde. 

Kiki interrupts and tells Mia what’s what - that if she had been honest from the beginning, Kiki wouldn’t have stopped her. But instead, Mia went to her when Kiki was heartbroken and basically made Kiki tell her what to do and give her her blessing. That’s exactly what happened! Mia put the burden on Kiki and basically said her happiness was in Kiki’s hands, like either Kiki had to be the villain and tell Mia to break up with Alex, or put aside her own feelings and be OK with it, even when she was the person who was wronged. Kiki didn’t feel like doing giving her blessing when she felt like shit and had been betrayed by a friend. And she didn’t expect Mia to listen, but Mia should’ve cared about her from the beginning. Kiki calls Mia out on being honest not just with others, but with herself. Kki used to compare herself to Mia, Mia gives all these moral lectures that sound smart and clever, but it’s not about what you say, but what you do. Well, shit. She’s right. And Mia needs to hear this. I’ve said this before, but I think their relationship is really complex this season. Messy, but complex. And this dynamic between them, with Kiki feeling like Mia didn’t really care, or was judging her, goes beyond just Alexander’s involvement. It’s not just fighting because of a boy.

Mia is apologizing and Carlos comes in to ruin the moment and be like “You straightened it out?” Lmao dude, don’t interrupt. He gives them all a shot, which is his attempt to play mediator, I guess, so he’s dumb but he’s trying. Kiki clinks glasses with him, then walks out. When Mia calls after her, Kiki says you still want my blessing? But you need yours. Whoaaaa.

Carlos and Kiki walk off hand in hand talking about her breasts. Well, I guess it’s nice that they’re appreciated without the surgery. Though obviously it’s about how Kiki feels about her body, not Carlos.

Mia stays behind and has a Moment, I guess she’s thinking about how she needs to go all in with Alexander, get rid of her remaining doubts. Then she goes out to meet her girls, they smile and dance. Finally Kiki smiles at Mia and they dance together. I love their little glance of reconciliation. The girl squad has a group hug. Awww! 

Toilet Sam comes in and greets everyone! He’s talking to Hanna and OF FUCKING COURSE that’s when Jonas and Matteo roll in. Jonas sees Hanna and Sam and legit pulls a Granpa Smpson exit, lmao at Matteo’s exasperated exit after him. Poor Matteo.

Mia and Kiki dance together in the closing moments of the clip, and it’s a fitting ending. Yay, they’re happy again! Truly the next three episodes will only be good times and no more suffering!

Social Media/General Comments:

LMAO, I fucking lost it at all the passive-aggressive Instagram stories that Kiki posted after the dinner from last episode. She tagged only Amira, Hanna, and Sam, not Mia, posting pictures that didn’t include Mia, set to Little Mix’s “Shout Out to my Ex” for that extra bitter flair. Which you know, fits Kiki’s relationship with Alexander, but honestly feels more like Mia is her ex going by the pictures, lol. Then Amira, Hanna, and Sam respond by posting Kiki’s posts WITH Mia, like good lord, the dramaaaaa of it all. I mean, they’re all making a statement, that they’re not ditching Mia, but how must that make Kiki feel? But it’s all so teenage and petty and immature that I love it. 

Jonas flakes on Matteo, saying he needs to study, but it’s more like he’s staying home and getting wasted. Matteo is worried and says they barely see each other anymore. Jeez. This is a total reversal of what we’ll likely see in S3, unless they are BOTH total messes in that season. Then it’ll be up to wise men Carlos and Abdi to step up for their bros. We did see Carlos having some sage advice in this episode, so maybe it’s not such a wild idea?

Matteo and Hanna talk later and Matteo lets Hanna know that Jonas isn’t doing well and that he failed a math test. I don’t think it’s Hanna’s duty to fix Jonas’ problems at all, but it’s nice that Matteo and Hanna are talking together and trying to help Jonas.

The other girls were gossiping about Mia and Alex. Amira figured out that Mia probably wasn’t answering because Mia was at Alexander’s place. Sigh, Mia. How long did you think you could keep your relationship a secret? It always gets out, as you just learned last week!!

Kiki posts a LOT of stuff about fake friends on IG after she discovers Mia and Alex together, and it’s pretty juvenile, but you know, hashtag relatable. And understandable. Super teenage.

I like that Amira reached out to Kiki and said she was there if she needed to talk. Kiki has been a shit to Amira on multiple occasions, but Amira remains a true friend. And I hope Kiki keeps this in mind the next time she wants to say something racist or insensitive (not that she would recognize it as such, probably).

Druck gave out hotline information for teenagers after the panic attack clip, encouraging them to talk to someone, which is great. Again, I love how they’re encouraging teenagers not to go through their problems alone, whether it’s through therapy, hotlines, or talking to trusted friends and family.

Amira talked about religious discrimination on Instagram and how difficult it is to get into public service in Germany when you wear a hijab. She’s mentioned this before, when the girls were meeting with career counselors, and I really hope that we somehow get a S4 despite the girls’ graduation so we can get an Amira season. I would love to see her story talk specifically about her ambitions and how she tries to achieve them despite people constantly telling her she won’t be able to make it as a Muslim hijabi. Just send Amira to Australia and she can have a life-changing backpacking adventure. It would be amazing. (Skam never gave us the Evak + boy squad Morocco trip we deserved, so I am down for Druck providing that awesome travelogue content.)

I am not German so please feel free to correct me or clarify me on cultural and language matters.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[vicccwrites]

Poison - Cai Xukun

(A/N: I never thought that any of my fics would ever need a trigger warning,, but here we are? This was originally supposed to have a fluffy ending?? Which didn’t happen at all lmao. This was requested by @mitzi-cs, and I know your request said a bit of fluff? Sorry but this isn’t fluffy at all and ending up turning pretty dark so uhm?? I hope that’s ok?? You wanted angst, so angst I will give you! This isn’t something that I would usually write so you’ll have to lmk what you think ^^ Enjoy~ <33)

Masterlist

- Picture Source: Google -

(Trigger Warnings: Cheating, Angst, Death)

    You knew it was coming. It had been stewing for a long time, but your sense of pride made you refuse to admit it. What you didn’t expect, though, was for it to hurt so fucking much. Why wouldn’t it? He was the boy of your dreams – or at least, he had been.

    It started small. Hiding text messages from you, sneaking away at weird hours and placating your worries with the excuse of work; but then being awoken to the concerned texts of his groupmates, wondering where he was. Deep down, you always knew Xukun was cheating on you. There simply wasn’t any other answer.

    Things gradually started to get worse. It went from decently hidden night-time escapades to blatantly obvious lunch with “friends”. From seeing him every day to maybe glimpsing a peek of his retreating figure heading out the door once or twice a week. Sure, you believed him at the start. But a year later? Not so much.

    Schedules stopped lining up. The two of you simply stopped trying to make things work anymore. Half-hearted dates were planned, but he would always cancel, or work would get in the way. You tried to make him see sense, to make him fall back in love you and let things go back to the way they were. At this point, you weren’t even sure he was worth the effort anymore.

    There was an awkward silence every time you were so much as in the same room as your boyfriend – if he could even still be called that. The tension between the pair of you was nearly unbearable, but neither of you mentioned it. Xukun all but moved out of your shared townhouse, taking a good majority of his stuff with him. It was left empty, just like your heart.

    On the nights where he bothered to stumble through the doors of your abode, hair tousled and clothes rumpled – a good indicator of his previous activities, he would curl up on the other side of the bed or sometimes even opt to spend the night on the couch. Long gone were the days where you would cuddle into his side, snuggling into his body heat and falling asleep to the sound of his angelic singing. Instead, here you were, barely able to look the other in the eye.

    “Y/N! Stop acting like you know what it’s like! To be an idol – I’m the leader of Nine Percent for fuck’s sake! You can’t just expect me to give that all up?” he yelled. After a year and a half, you had finally had enough, cornering him after he showed up in your kitchen late one night after doing who knows what; and judging from the stench of alcohol that clung to his clothes, he wasn’t completely sober either. Well, technically, you shared the place, but he hadn’t been home in over a week. A week that he was here, in town, supposedly getting some well-needed time off from work.

    Your eyes hardened, voice steeling itself into an icy tone.

    “You sometimes like to forget, Xukun, that I’m an idol too. I worked my ass off to get here, just like you did. I understand perfectly, and I’m not the one who keeps cancelling! If you aren’t going to be committed to this relationship – fuck, were you ever? I’m not a complete idiot – then get the hell out of here.”

    “Well maybe if your group wasn’t a complete flop then that wouldn’t be the case,” Xukun sneered. You froze, the success (or lack thereof) that your group had was not something the two of you talked about a lot. It was, in fact, one of your greatest insecurities. Watching him stomp up the stairs, you couldn’t help but choke out a sob as the memories came flooding back to you.

    Him holding you. Him comforting you, whispering sweet nothings into your ears as you cried your heart out. Him caring about you. Shit, when was the last time that happened? 20 months ago? Longer?

    His footsteps thundered in the deafening silence, presumably heading to your- his bedroom. It was his room now. You were done, you decided. You were long since fed up with him, and it was about damn time that you faced the realities of that fact. Walking out of the apartment with nothing but a couple of necessities, you fumbled to your best friend’s house.

    She let you in after a single glance of your tear-stained cheeks, knowing better than to ask by now. Dropping onto the couch with a sigh, you accepted the warm mug of hot cocoa with a grateful smile. Thank goodness at least some people seemed to have your back.

    The palpitations started soon after. You thought nothing of them at first, too consumed with your thoughts to even notice something was wrong. After a couple minutes though, you were convulsing on the floor in pain, begging your friend to call an ambulance. Fuck- to do anything more than stare at you with a pitying gaze as she watched on. What the hell was going on?

    You didn’t hear the door open, but you did see a familiar frame stalk into your line of sight. It was him. The one, the only, Cai Xukun himself. Waltzing onto your friend’s lap and kissing her squarely on the lips, uncaring of the body shaking on the living room floor. All along, it had been her. Right under your nose, and yet you were still too blind – too afraid – to realise it. The sight of pure betrayal was your last before your heart gave out and refused to beat anymore.

    It was too late for regrets. You were gone, and there wasn’t anyone to blame but your own damn pride.

[thelifetimechannel]

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.  

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

[spacebunniis]

3, 15, 23, 27, and 40! for e v e r y o n e !!!

everyone ??? everyone !! aaaaaa thank you so much !!!! ;;U;; (i even included the two i didn’t list and Kiri so BUCKLE UP :’D ) i will put under read more bc long ;;w;;

3: What’s your OCs favorite food?

Linalae: seafood based dishes (also just, fancy, fine dining stuff)

Yexia: Spicy curries

Ziseshis: it takes him a long time to realize people actually eat for pleasure, and uh, even then he’s not exactly good at taking care of himself and probably rarely eats full meals. so probably space junk food, of some kind.

Idal’ia: barbecue

Akahana: some kind of steak…the meatier the better

Chivan: (i want to say chiffon cake for the joke of how it sounds similar to her name) hmm i think actually something like foie gras

Essara: She doesn’t get a lot of luxury meals living on soldier’s rations, but she enjoys rich dark chocolate when she can get it.

Riye: alcohol

Kiri: is it expensive? then it’s a favorite. The more expensive it is the more she likes it.

15: What makes your OC angry?

Linalae: When those with power fail those below them, either by preying on them or by failing to protect them. Also men flirting with her.

Yexia: ….honestly it’s easier to answer what doesn’t make her angry OK actually, it’s very much shaped by the friends and relationships she makes along the way. Which means she gets angry at alien discrimination, she gets angry when her friends are threatened. (and on a very basic, the easiest way to get under her skin is to suggest she’s inferior in some way)

Ziseshis: Slavers are definitely top of list. And then…he actually also has a lot of anger. Being talked down to, being pitied, being questioned…

Idal’ia: Seeing innocent people get hurt

Akahana: Not being taken seriously because of how “innocent” she looks or because she has a “carefree” attitude

Chivan: Not being the center of attention, being looked over, when people don’t automatically do as she says or counter her ideas

Essara: political corruption, people with no strong convictions

Riye: being asked about his past or to talk about ~feelings~. also of course his ship being stolen.

Kiri: Not getting her way. She’s spoiled. It’s her way or a blaster shot to the head.

23: Whats your OCs biggest secret?

Linalae: She’s loyal to the Empire and will do her best to serve Imperial Intelligence … but she’s not naive. She knows the risk of having cybernetics, she knows they’d likely be used to watch her, record her actions, or more. And she happens to be skilled at tinkering with tech, and if some adjustments were made that make it a little harder to actually monitor her, she also knows how to cover up the fact that there are protections in place herself from constant monitoring.

Yexia: my god is it even possible for the girl who yells every thought she has even have secrets. 😂 she’s pretty. upfront with everything. I guess the one thing i can think of (that eventually stops being a secret … also is a poorly kept secret) is how there is a softie deep down in there. She didn’t always want to hurt everyone, she didn’t always like seeing people get hurt, until she was rewarded for it, until it became a way to prove herself and be better. And because it was drilled into her that showing mercy, caring for others, that’s all weakness, she really tries to act like she is just angry all the time and doesn’t want to protect people.

Ziseshis: all that bluster about not having any fear, about being the best, all that confidence? Yeah that’s all a huge lie. He’s just hoping if he keeps lying about never being afraid, one day, eventually, it’ll have to be true right? (never mind the shaking hands or the way his heart beats like it’ll break his ribs, one day lying about how calm he is will work)

Idal’ia: she’s a pretty open book too, but she also doesn’t talk about her past a lot. mainly because, it wasn’t that glamorous, she certainly used to roll with a …rough… crowd and did things she isn’t proud of. but she’s pretty zen about her life (got that wisdom that comes with age)

Akahana: That she doesn’t think the dark side is as bad as the council makes it out to be. She doesn’t think all Sith are necessarily evil, even as she does try to bring peace to the galaxy. Her approach will always be to reach out first, and to always try to make friends, even when she’s supposed to see them as just the enemy, as opposite to her.

Chivan: Her secret is that she plays the part of the selfless hero very well, but she very selfishly wants to be the her. Her image is carefully crafted to be the all important hero, because she wants to be the all important hero, the chosen one, she wants to be admired and lauded. Not very Jedi-like so … she just pretends to be sweet and selfless, and hides all her less than pretty thoughts.

Essara: How tired she is. How much she would love to put her blaster down and never see another fight again. But everyone is counting on her to be the leader, and to be confident, and to not show how much of a burden this all is, how much everything weighs on her. But she is so very, very tired.

Riye: that he’s force sensitive! it’s not really a secret out of anything more than, he doesn’t like Talking About It so he keeps that part of his past (and that he was once in training to be a Jedi) secret, and has decided not to use any force powers

Kiri: probably obvious but she can’t go back to the ascendancy for some reason. She usually just tells people she was bored and not living the life of luxury she wanted so took it into her own hands to get the life she wanted.

27: What languages does your OC speak?

(gonna say they all speak basic of course :’D also full disclosure i had to like, google, Star Wars languages for this so hopefully i get stuff right ;;v;; but i might mention some accents bc i like that kinda thing )

Linalae: She knows a lot of basics for many languages, and if she ever needs a boost uses her cybernetics to get help.

Yexia: Sith, naturally :’) (the way she speaks either basic or Sith is definitely the equivalent of the stereotypical “delinquent” accent (HAH?!) )

Ziseshis: just basic; any Cheunh he once knew was forgotten save for maybe a word here or there (does sarcasm count as a language because that)

Idal’ia: Togruti, limited Mando’a, and a little Jawaese, and has the equivalent slight country/Southern twang to her voice

Akahana: Togruti, and she has the equivalent of Appalachian accent

Chivan: Catharese, she speaks with noble airs/an affected accent

Essara: Just basic!

Riye: and also just basic

Kiri: Cheunh

40: What is the craziest thing your OC has done?

(some of these will be vaguer than others bc i havent thought out all details but i will do my best :’D )

Linalae: This just has to go to the whole mission on Quesh to undo the Castellan Restraints :’))

Yexia: When she throws herself between an enemy and Azhiera and loses an arm in the process, because she knows doing anything else would risk Azhiera getting too seriously hurt, the quickest and easiest way to ensure Azhiera is uninsured is to put herself between Azhiera and the enemy, and then whoops her arm is gone and she calls upon everything she has and surrounds the two of them flames until it’s just them left (and promptly collapses because like, blood loss)

Ziseshis: he doesn’t do many non crazy things arguably (should it be marrying the dashade lmao) uhhhh actually it’s probably just, challenging anyone and everyone when he’s running on barely anything but fear (another contender is just, in my canon, once expansions start he’s gonna end up basically willingly leaving the dark council and position of power because, why not ?? there is some more to it but x); )

Idal’ia: She’s gone along on at least one undercover mission with Alunera and while not blowing her agent’s cover, certainly is not above teasing her along the way

Akahana: this is always escalating as she continues to (literally) throw her entire 5’0” self at bigger and stronger enemies every day

Chivan: doing crazy things is not really her style :’)) she likes calculating and planning

Essara: in her early days as just a grunt she was the one who was always rushing to the front line, and particularly was willing to throw herself between any unfortunate child and danger

Riye: at some point he has definitely made an escape from a situation gone south in minimal clothes

Kiri: It involved a lot of explosives

[terramythos]

Notes from my October Daye reread, #7 Chimes At Midnight. Or, "don't eat evil pie if you're planning to overthrow the government". Advanced spoilers, please read the books, etc. 

Reminder right off the bat that sweet fashion disaster May used to be an eldritch horror of the night???

-the month name in her case seems to be a coincidence? (But like. How could a name like May Daye be a coincidence. Come the fuck on.)

-Goblin fruit is super yikes. Super addictive drug that inevitably leads to death?

- Tybalt and Toby domestic shit hell yeah

Tybalt: arrested for being horny on main

- Toby: let's visit the Queen, who demonstrably hates me, about the goblin fruit problem. What could possibly go wrong (spoiler: a whole lot)

-"i may be a composite of multiple dead people, but I'm not stupid" May is nonbinary, pass the fucking tea

-The Gang Overthrows the Queen

Quentin is such a good kid! Fuck!

-I just... love the characters and how they've developed over the series. Quentin is great, Tybalt is great, The Luidaeg is great... October has changed into a more open and less depressed person. It's great! I mean, everything goes to shit over the next 2 books, but we've come so far!

-Quentin getting extremely upset that The High King didn't notice the Queen didn't have a legitimate claim to the throne? Haha. Haha. *takes another shot*

-Quentin: we could just like... TELL the High King that shes not a legitimate ruler. Like we literally could just call him up and say--

Toby: he would probably kill us and how would we do that anyway

Quentin: *silently screaming*

Have I mentioned I LOVE the Luidaeg? Shes such a great character.

-the implication that tybalt's archaic speech is at least partially just to fuck with Toby is so fuckign funny god they're so cute

GOD...

-Quentin not quite bowing to Arden, or at least not as formally as the others. That's foreshadowing. God damn it.

- The Undersea: is relevant

Me: wow I knew we introduced all that lore 2 books ago for a reason

- "Princesses aren't exciting. I've met Princesses." I am so glad I am not ACTUALLY drinking every time Quentin's identity is foreshadowed, because this book alone would have killed me by now.

- everything: goes to shit

Me: ah, there it is

- Toby becoming instantly addicted to goblin fruit and forgetting 2 of the most important people in her life has me at a severe oof. :(

- fucking props to seanan for making pie legitimately threatening.

- October Daye patch 7.1 notes: due to balance concerns, toby has been shifted back to more human.

Gameplay effects: hair is brown again. blood magic effects and self-healing have been reduced by 75%. Iron resistance increased 75%.

-Theres a line about how Tybalt should have known better than to believe anything could have gone right for very long and. Yikes in context. Yikes with knowing Tybalt's backstory.

- fun lore with the Luidaeg offering to turn Toby into a Selkie to save her from impending death. Being like... technically the Selkie Firstborn. And how much doing that would actually cost. It's certainly something to file away for later because I don't imagine we would introduce a concept like that and then abandon it...

-SUDDEN HEAVY SETUP FOR BOOK 8 STUFF. SUDDEN BOOK 1 BEING RELEVANT. Why did Evening, some random noble, have a fucking ancient powerful artifact just kinda... randomly in her possession? INDEED.

- toby: Why does the name Eira Rosenhwyr sound so familiar?

Mags: Oh she's a Firstborn

Toby: Right, that definitely explains it one hundred percent. Time to not think about it at all ever again.

- TOBY I'm aware you're kind of out of your mind right now but surely you can see the aesthetic similarity between EIRA ROSENHWYR and EVENING WINTERROSE. Ajdjenskkelbsbd

- I fucking googled it and Eira Rosenhwyr translates roughly to "Snow Rose Evening" lmfao

- Mags, continuing exposition: yeah she always had this Snow White thing where like she never stayed dead for long

Me, considering book 1's central conflict and how Evening was described multiple times as Snow White: 🙃

- I really appreciate the fact that whenever Walther shows up in a book he pretty much saves the day in a major way just by making like. A potion

- toby: magic is weird. Candy made from my blood that temporarily curbs the effects of addiction? Right

Walther: you're dating a cat

-I forgot we learn The Luidaeg's actual name in this one???? "Yeah I'm Antigone what up"

-OH THATS WHERE THE "ANNIE" PSEUDONYM COMES FROM. God damn it.

-God I love Danny and his godawful expletives "Oberon's scrotum". God

- I haven't mentioned it too much but there are soooooo many good tybalt and toby moments. They have such a good and loving relationship. Boy I die

-there's a bit where Toby consumes some of the Luidaeg's blood for Reasons and gets a brief Luidaeg-POV flashback.. which shows the Luidaeg protesting Amandine abusing Toby as a kid. So even though they don't really meet until book 1, it puts her first unofficial appearance in a new context. Just some all powerful ancient sea witch checkin up on her niece at Safeway, y'know

- god the first Cu Sidhe shows up in this one and he just looks like a glam rocker who's also sort of a dog. Jesus christ

- they just act like dogs too and it is so funny. Fucking zero attention span, super excited and happy at being told they did a good job.

- arden: there's no way you're amandine's kid. She would never sleep with a human. Her husband would be pissed

Toby: ??? My mom isn't married?

(Oh boy that's gonna be a fun one)

AND, AFTER SIX AND A HALF BOOKS OF SOLID FORESHADOWING:

We get the Quentin reveal. The alcohol poisoning ceases.

-There's some real good irony in like. THE Crown Prince getting apprenticed to Toby, who is a member of Faerie's biggest underclass. And they become fucking BFFs over the course of the series. That's some good shit

👌👌👌some GOOD👌 shit right there

-God just going back there are SO many hints. I noted a lot of them on this series reread but some of my favorites are the real subtle ones. Like Quentin in book 2 being inexplicably amused when Toby orders him to do something.

- Like?? She makes the kid do chores. She's almost gotten him killed like half a dozen times. That's just some... premium good shit.

Well the book sums up that revelation pretty well lmao

- Did... did Arden just imply Toby's mom caused the 1906 San Francisco earthquake...? That is certainly something I either missed or forgot. How is that like even a thing

- The night haunts are cool as shit and I'm glad they're showing up as bigger players. And now we have setup for Toby owing them a favor. Delightful.

ME SIPPING THAT LUIDAEG LORE JUICE

- October Daye patch 7.1.8 notes: oh god we fucked up we fucked up changes reverted

-Blood magic CPR? Canon. Then again I'm pretty sure Toby was established using blood magic to resurrect someone in book 2. So. Book 2 is still relevant

God I'm such a sucker for this angsty shit. And of course this would be Tybalt's solution, considering his backstory. God. Fuck

-I like how they went from enemies to like ridiculously sweet and affectionate lovers.. but it's not 100% perfect, they still have arguments and disagreements. But it all comes down to them caring about each other. That's some good shit right there

- Dianda being a huge badass and just singlehandedly taking out six guards while iron poisoned. a good development.

- new toby power of literally stealing someone's powers by drinking their blood. We're going like full vampire here huh

- and The Queen... who we establish actually traded her name away... manages to escape. Wonder when she shows up again 🤔🤔🤔

- ok god the fucking short story epilogue is SO GOOD. Luidaeg POV!!! Luidaeg lore is always good but this is one of the only parts we have seen Amandine. It reveals that The Luidaeg literally has just been October's guardian angel for years, which explains why some all powerful sea witch just stumbles into Toby's life???. Amandine is a fucking brat. It foreshadows fucking... SOMETHING with the goddamn month names. And it sets up Eira. God next book is going to be so good.

- There are interesting parallels between Toby and her mom. Amandine was trying to turn Toby into a human for fucking years?? As some kind of shitty experiment? Almost succeeded until The Luidaeg intervened. There's all these lines about how Amandine had stolen centuries of Toby's life, how Toby would be defenseless and Faerie would still know who she was even if Amandine succeeded. What does this say about Gillian? Toby turned her completely human in book 4 to save her life. There's no way that's not going to come back in a big way.

-What. Is with. The month names. Seriously we have not had any new ones since 3 but that's still like 5 characters. I know there are several more coming in the next few books and I still don't know why the fuck lol

-This book was mostly the final setup for next book, which is an absolute fucking bombshell. Probably the best book in the series and that is saying something. I'm excited to reread it. But on it's own this one is a good read too... love that we finally got the Quentin reveal!! The horrific Queen is gone for now! Stuff!

[barytyrannus]

My Conversation w/ Murdoc Niccals

(Just posting this cause I want to save it somewhere)

Hello Michael Meyer. Welcome to the Wormwood Scrubs Prison Messenger System. You can now receive a fortnightly digital visitors pass. Would you like to apply for the fortnightly visitors pass?

12:14 PM

Yes

Free Murdoc,12:14 PM

Ok. To receive your pass, you must first get through our really strict security process.

Free Murdoc,12:14 PM

What is your name?

12:14 PM

Michael

Free Murdoc,12:14 PM

You want us to call you Michael? We'll call you Michael. So, Michael...

What is the name of the prisoner you wish to contact?

12:14 PM

Murdoc Niccals

Free Murdoc,12:14 PM

You have selected Murdoc Niccals.

Please type the prisoner's number:

12:15 PM

24602

Free Murdoc,12:15 PM

Please type #24602's favorite alcoholic beverage:

12:16 PM

Rum

Free Murdoc,12:16 PM

Close enough. He’ll drink anything.

Congratulations, you have passed the vetting process. You now have digital visitor access once every two weeks (in case you don’t know what fortnight means).

Connecting you to prisoner #24602…

Finally! Where the bloody hell have you been!?

12:16 PM

Trying to get pass security

Free Murdoc,12:16 PM

Whatever. Right, well long story short, I'm stuck in bloody prison because some dodgy bloke named El Mierda framed me! So, naturally, I hatched a masterplan to prove my innocence

Genius, isn't it?

12:17 PM

Wow. Amazing

Free Murdoc,12:17 PM

Course it is. It's fullproof. Right, so the only way to prove my innocence was to get some INFO on El Mierda.

The only way to do that was to gain RESPECT! And the only way to gain respect around here is to pick a FIGHT with the biggest baddest bastard in the bin, Big Balls Mcguinness.

So, bet you’re dying to hear about how I gave Big Balls a proper beating, MMA style, eh?

12:17 PM

Tell me

Free Murdoc,12:17 PM

Well, it didn't go quite as planned. But in my defense, I had no time to defend myself. He sucker-punched me as I was doing my warm-up stretches.

I protested, only to be informed there are no rules in a prison yard brawl.

How was I supposed to know?

12:18 PM

You never really can know, can you

Free Murdoc,12:18 PM

Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine, luv. Anyway, no honour amongst thieves, as they say.

Next thing I remember is waking up in the infirmary. I’ve had a lovely time in there, tbh. Comfy pillows, daylight, and all the baby food I can drink.

Still gorgeous, eh?

12:18 PM

You're a fine pickle

Free Murdoc,12:18 PM

I know.

Anyway, they’ve wheeled me into the computer room for my five minute’s chat time. Which is expiring faster than a raven in a microwave (which was a friggin’ accident, btw, I’m not a sicko). So let’s keep this moving.

Listen, mate - I cannot in good conscience go on without warning you. El Mierda is an evil, twisted bastard. Imagine if Anne Robinson mated with Krampus and sired a child. Actually don't. That's horrible. Has he reached out to you? Maybe an email? Carrier pigeon? Horse's head in your bed?

12:19 PM

Not yet. I worry that he may try to, though.

Free Murdoc,12:19 PM

Phew. Some say he can turn your own mother against you, so watch your back.

Let not the Beast get a taste for you, for he serves la Nuestra Señora de la Santa Muerte, Our Lady of Holy Death, and her teeth shall feast on your flesh for all eternity.

Anyway, lovely stuff! BTW, by proving I can take a beating, I’m now respected in here for having medium-sized balls.

What do you think of that?

12:19 PM

I think you're over-compensating for something

Free Murdoc,12:19 PM

Oh FFS the keyboardjkljlk is stickopkling again. Bloody savages don't wasgfgfgh their hands before using thffsis computer.

Anyway, fortunately, a few of my fingers aren’t broken, so I can still get online and take care of the important things…

12:20 PM

Like what

Free Murdoc,12:20 PM

I'm talking about messaging you to begin stage 2 of my master plan, tentatively titled: Murdoc Niccals Proves His Innocence, Gets Gorillaz back and Makes The World Great Again with the Help of an Awe-Struck Fan, Act II. What do you think of the name?

12:20 PM

Needs work.

Free Murdoc,12:20 PM

Looks like it's international 'I don't give a monkeys' day so in the spirit of the holiday, I'm gonna ignore what you just said.

Anyway, it's a work-in-progress, and thanks to my new medium-sized balls, a little birdie whispered in my ear that an associate of El Mierda is currently residing IN THIS VERY PRISON!

What are the chances?

12:21 PM

Pretty high I guess, considering how contrived this whole thing is.

Free Murdoc,12:21 PM

If I was a betting man (and my gambling debts would suggest I am), I'd say you're a prime smart-arse!

Anyway, El Mierda’s associate goes by the name of Vlad the Inhaler…

Not the prettiest but if we’re gonna track down El Mierda and prove my innocence, we're gonna have to go through Vlad. You up to this?

12:21 PM

I'm up for whatever

Free Murdoc,12:21 PM

Lovely! Now, the problem is, the location of El Mierda’s hideout is a closely guarded secret. When I say "closely guarded", I mean Vlad keeps it on him at all times. And by "on him", I mean literally ON HIM…

Am I going to have to spell this out for ya?

12:21 PM

So are they a gay couple or what?

Free Murdoc,12:22 PM

Well you'll just have to tell Eusebio AND Sebastian that you're not that kind of boy, honeybuns...

Soz mate, that last message wasn't meant for you.

Anyway, I meant a tattoo, you wanker! On his body somewhere. He’s such a moron he got the map to El Mierda's hideout tattooed onto himself cos he kept getting lost.

Oh, by the way, how well can you impersonate a woman?

12:22 PM

Depends on what type of woman

Free Murdoc,12:22 PM

You had me fooled, darling.

So, here's the plan. Vlad is going to reach out to you in two weeks’ time. Thanks to a nifty bit of hacking by yours truly, he’ll think he’s chatting with his fiance Millie. But he’s really talking to you!

Your mission is to GET HIM TO SEND YOU A PICTURE OF THAT TATTOO! I don't know why I'm screaming. Bloody caps lock.

Anyway, can you do that?

12:23 PM

I'll try my best.

Free Murdoc,12:23 PM

Smashing. I’d do it myself only this needs to come from an outside line. Your mission: convince Vlad you're Millie, then get a peek of that map tattoo.

Right! Don't let me down, Michael Meyer, I mean Millie 😉. Gorillaz, the free world and my private collection of nearly extinct Bornean Orangutans are depending on you. Seriously, I forgot to feed them before I got locked up. LMAO.

Oh, and one more thing, mate…

12:23 PM

What

Free Murdoc,12:23 PM

Write this down: BEETLEJUICE. Remember that word. It'll come in handy.

Ok, good luck with Vlad. Look out for his message in TWO WEEKS TIME! Right, I best get back to my one-handed press-ups. Murdoc out!