#stop antagonising csa survivors and abused kids for mistakes they made out of TRAUMA??

[alishasboe]

Its Time We Talked About Tape 9: a rant

this is long, idk how it got this long but yeah, it did and i’m #MAD

ok let’s fucking do this, i’m so angry at this stupid storyline. first of all, to clarify the narrative in the book aka source material - the party is not at jess’ house, it’s some random person from their year, it is confirmed by hannah that jess and justin barely know each other, this is just another party hook up... so, pretty much happens similar to in the show up until justin leaves to stand outside the room. bryce shows up, hannah doesn’t name him or jess only justin, he tries to open the door, he's like ‘let me in’ and justin shuts the door and is like ‘no let her sleep’, then he says, as a joke, ‘it won’t be any fun, she won’t move, she’ll just lie there’ and bryce is like ‘i’ve gotta go to work, i only need a few minutes with her’ and that’s ALL it takes and justin lets bryce go in, so much so that bryce does a double take, he’s like lmao seriously, it was that easy? and when it’s over, hannah sees justin sitting in the bedroom next door, completely in the dark and he looks very sad. (now catch me if i’m wrong but i swear to god, and i haven’t been able to find it since reading for the first time, but there is a bit where hannah says she asked justin about it at school and he refused to do anything about it? i’m not sure but i swear i read it but idk)

NOW let’s clarify how the fucking SHOW fucked justin foley over more than he deserved. ok lets get down to business friends. so justin leaves jess when she says she needs to close her eyes for a few minutes, and he stands outside the door. bryce is like ‘come play beer pong’ and justin refuses on the premise that he’s hanging around for jess because she’s super drunk... meaning, she can’t defend herself, it’s her own bedroom, and he wants to stop anyone from going in there to take advantage of her. bryce says some shit like ‘i bet you had some fun with her’ and if you fucking watch justin his whole expression changes in that one second, and he looks disgusted with bryce for even implying that he would take advantage of jess while she was drunk. and bryce goes ‘can i see?’ he goes to open the door, and justin stops him and he’s like, barely able to even form the sentence, ‘dude, she’s... she’s my girlfriend’ wholeheartedly he knows bryce is trash at this point, he wants to tell him that she’s unconscious, or wasted or sleeping, but that would do fucking nothing to stop bryce, so instead he hopes that jess being his girlfriend will stop bryce, that bryce would respect him that much to just go away and not do this. but bryce doesn’t.

now here is when it gets technical. bryce says ‘what’s yours is mine’ right, and justin won’t even meet his eyes, and end flashback from justin’s point of view. now the scene is very jumpy to imply that justin is drunk, he doesn’t remember everything but there is nothing to imply that what happens in that scene is a lie, that justin is lying. it is legitimately his memory, because he isn’t recounting this to clay, he feels guilty even for this. right? ok so swap to hannah’s point of view, when bryce walks into the room, you can hear (and there is subtitles of it) [body thuds] and the sound of someone being shoved, or falling, right outside that door in perfect timing for bryce entering that room. so, you get my drift? justin didn’t give in to him and bryce shoved him out of the way, and justin, being fucking drunk and terrified because bryce wanted to do something and justin had no idea how to stop him, took a moment before he stood up. NOW we go back to justin’s second flashback and when it begins he isn’t standing at the door?? like you would expect someone who just let bryce walk into the room without argument, without a fight, just gave in? no it takes him a few steps to get back to the door, he was SHOVED!! and the show never mentions it, just implies it! so i ask, does being extremely drunk and scared, being shoved out of the way mean that justin is responsible for “letting” jess get raped by bryce? does he deserve endless hatred and disgust from everyone at liberty?? 

he recovers moments after being shoved out of the way, he knocks on the door, he is hoping that bryce just wanted to look, he is genuinely trying to convince himself that bryce would never want to do this, no one answers so he goes back in and see’s bryce lying on top of jess (which, not to get fucking mad again but in 2x12 justin’s testimony says that he saw bryce “standing over jess” but when you see the scene in his memory, bryce is clearly on top of jess... so obviously, these writers have never watched their own show #confirmed) he goes up and he’s all calm, he’s like ‘c’mon dude get off her, leave her alone’ and bryce gets REALLY angry, and can we please just remember in this moment that justin grew up his whole life being physically abused by aggressive and awful men and so when bryce shoves him out, justin protests but he doesn’t fight back because he knows he can’t win. he’s terrified. bryce shoves him to the ground and he waits 0.01 of a second to shut the door and lock it, and if that’s what we’re supposed to see as justin “letting” it happen, then that’s FUCKED up because he’s drunk and he’s scared. that really fucks with your head. your reaction time is slower, and your brain activity is slower because alcohol fucking does that shit. and when you’re scared you go into fight/flight/freeze mode and it’s very obvious throughout the show that when in danger justin freezes, he doesn’t fight back and he doesn’t run. he just freezes. he tries to get up. he does you can see him try and move but it’s difficult. and he just starts to cry. same thing he does when he gets choked by seth in 1x12. and so obviously he thinks of what to do, he admits in 2x12 that he did consider calling the police, and calling for help, but he was afraid. and so yeah, what if he had called the police? well its not like the cops were AT the party? by the time they got there jessica would still have been raped, and nothing would have changed. even if justin managed to stand up and get help? bryce would have violated jessica? he had legitimately no way of stopping what happened in that room...

so does that mean he “let” jessica get raped? that it is his fault that she was raped? ... this traumatised kid who was sexually assaulted in his own bed at FIVE and it went on for years, this kid who loved a girl so much, this poor lonely kid who had never had anybody love him except for the two people in that room. and putting aside actual details and specifics, rape is the rapists fault, and the fault of an accessory who wants said thing to happen and stands by and actively lets it happen when they could easily have done something.... eg. monty, kenneth and taylor raping tyler. THAT is an accessory to a crime, not justin being drunk and scared and trying to stop bryce but having his own trauma resurface... and it’d be great if the writers understood this. Here is the thing: with everything that the show has revealed post tape 9, it’s completely fucking unreasonable to keep up this demonisation and disgust toward justin’s actions that night out of trauma... the show wants us to empathise with traumatised characters, we’re supposed to forgive angry outbursts like alex MURDERING bryce, and moments of panic like jess witnessing his murder, or clay going bryce’s house with a gun because he's all fucked up, TYLER LITERALLY TRYING TO SHOOT UP THE FUCKING SCHOOL DANCE because he's been raped... but the writers somehow drew the line as justin’s lifetime of emotional, sexual and physical abuse making him understandably scared as his best friend raped his girlfriend...

and you know fucking what? if the show had kept this narrative from the beginning, that it’s forgivable and understandable that justin was scared, that we can see him work through his own trauma, and that he was also a victim that night, he was hurt and he was betrayed and he made a mistake, he didn't commit a crime, that he should not he hated for what he did, he is not a monster, he is not despicable or irredeemable. he didn’t LET anything happen to jessica. he TRIED to stop it but he couldn’t. if the writers but as much effort into getting the audience to understand why justin froze as they did hannah, they would be doing more for mental health advocacy than they’ve ever done. justin would not be a villain. people would fucking get it. they would empathise. but because the show points at justin in tape 9, and fucking says “he is a monster” viewers believe it, because they can’t see past the one dimensional narrative. there would be argument, people who wouldn’t understand, but if they took that narrative from the beginning, it would still make sense. 

it’s gross to antagonise a 16 year old boy for panicking in a situation no one ever teaches you about. where are the 10 step plans on what to do when your best friend who you rely on for your entire livelihood comes into your girlfriend of two months who you really love’s bedroom at a party to rape her, while all involved are drunk, and you’re a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and have been physically abused and neglected your whole life? hmm? where are they?? the show preaches moral ambiguity but then pulls this shit and wants you to think justin is the Worst™ ever for what happened in tape 9... hannah and justin were in the exact same position but no one ever says that hannah “let” jessica get raped? where exactly is it different? both of them never told jessica the truth as well?? on the phone call in 2x08 you can see how hard it is for him when he lies after she asks him if they hooked up... like i’m sorry but yeah it wasn’t fucking great but jessica was RAPED and of all people justin knows how humiliating and painful a memory that is to live with, so understandably he didn’t want to be the one to ruin her life? he thought he could keep her safe, he never thought he was letting a fucking rapist get away, and yeah, he feels SO bad about it and it was a mistake that he can rightly be held accountable for. but he didn’t do it maliciously. he didn't keep it from her cause she said something nasty to him, or because he thought she deserved it, or because he didn’t understand the pressure or any bullshit like that. he knew more than anyone. hannah got raped and she killed herself?? wouldn’t you want to take the awful memories away from someone you loved if you could? he stupidly let bryce walk free, and he hates himself for it, but he didn’t do it to protect bryce. he did it to protect jessica, and himself. he’s not a monster. he's not on the same level as bryce, or monty... nowhere near it in fact.

if they wanted us to see justin as responsible for “letting” jessica get raped then SHOW us him doing something irredeemable. we can watch a whole fucking rape scene but... we can’t just have a second long clip of justin letting bryce open the door? of him getting up off the floor, shrugging and being like “this might as well happen” ?? give us a reason to believe he did something wrong even despite his trauma because that isn't OKAY. not demonising valid fear responses from a csa victim and abuse victim. in the book: justin lets bryce in. he doesn’t go in to stop him. he doesn’t fight back. he doesn't cry from behind a locked door... valid reasons to call him out on it. justin in the show? confirmed abuse victim, went back in to stop bryce, is never confirmed to have actually let bryce go in, or let bryce do it. we can’t hold justin responsible if we don’t hold hannah responsible. it glorifies suicide to escape your mistakes. justin is paying for his AND hannah’s mistake through a life worse than death: addiction. and he doesn't fucking deserve that punishment. 

and lastly, on how also this storyline is fucked up. the whole show is like ‘victims need to tell their story because it’s theirs to tell’ but hannah LITERALLY tells jess’ story to 11 other people before jess herself even hears it... and is willing to let that shit go fucking public as manipulation? regardless of whether the story is true or not, jess and justin wanting to keep clay from doing shit about tape 9 isn’t evil and didn't deserve to be antagonised as much as it was... a girl was raped, and clay didn't understand the impact of that. every other person on those tapes who helped justin keep clay quiet did it for their own purposes. justin only did it because jess was scared and because bryce could have come after her or done something if he found out about the tapes. 

anyway. i cannot physically type anymore and i probably have more points to be made but i just can't remember them. if you made it this far. congratulations.