#i cant stop drawing myself as a depressed cat | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

star-mum · 10 months ago

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CHAPTER 2 BABIES !!!!!

and so the waking up to good fanfiction streak continues (i literally just woke up, i apologize if this is more incoherent than usual)

OH YEAH ACTION CLIFFHANGER SHIT (i was so excited I forgot about thaaaaat)

"Performance cut short! Arrival of the Bloody Bandits!" again thesw fucking titles !!!! i can HEAR IT !!!!

"Lovely and vicious. She and Nami would get along" YEAH ???? please tell her that so she can stop being a little hater (and then we can kiss on the mouth, girl who are friends style)

"Show was getting borin’ anyways" uuuggghhhhh you want to kiss me so bad, boohoo google maps

"You held your microphone stand and thwacked a bandit in the stomach" YEEEAAAAHHHH !!!!!!!

"His blade arced upward and cut through bone and muscle as if were warm butter" VIOLENCE !! VIOLENCE !! VIOLENCE !!

"You didn’t flinch. Interesting" The results are in !! Zoro's type is a woman when she's covered in someone's blood (gotta hand it to him boss, at least he's got good taste)

"Sanji didn’t think twice. He ducked" IF A PRETTY WOMAN TELLS HIM TO DO SOMETHING HE ! IS ! DOING IT ! NO QUESTIONS ASKED ! YES MY QUEEN ANYTHING FOR YOU

"All friends start as strangers, dear.” MA'AM !!! THIS IS HOW PEOPLE GET KIDNAPPED !!! AND/OR MURDERED

"nine years ago" helloooo lore 👀

"The three bird islands were known for their impressive networks of caves" im sure this wont be a surprise tool that'll help us out later

"Usopp’s expression was painfully sympathetic" i love him i love him i love him i love him

"I promised myself that I wouldn’t fail again for any other child in this world" WAAAAAAHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay but I was kinda expecting Estella to just be mysterious and maybe even a bit shitty person and now I feel bad !!!! she's just a mother who tried !!!! SHE BUILT AN ORPHANAGE GODDAMMIT !!!

"A warm huff of steam fanned your face" HAH THE FULL COOKING WITH SANJI SCENE !! TAKE THAT DEPRESSION !!!

"My dear, you can draw on the walls too" YOU THINK MAKING ME CRY IS COOL ?????

"You were too busy thinking about Luffy’s declaration" KSKSKS sorry I didn't hear what you said but it's hard to focus when facing tHE FUCKING SUN !!!!!

"I’m making seafood paella" aaah yes, we have Both seen that video of Taz and Iñaki talking about hispanic foods

"He smiled and the light caught a flicker of silver beneath his tongue" 👀👀 i am unable to look away

"Because you chopped oregano" I'll be damned if I stop using oregano in all my shit

"it's for savages" well gET IN LOSER, WE'RE SAVAGING

"Oh good, you didn’t burn the rice this time" cant have shit in this house

"A chubby black cat strutted into the room" oh my fucking god please let the cat interact with Zoro (he gives off those "do not bring a pet into this house -> pet becomes his favorite" vibes) pLEASE GOD

"the shitty cook couldn’t tie his shoes if a beautiful woman was nearby" so you agree 😌 you think im beautiful 😌

"although you didn’t recall making a sound" yeah he does that

"The three golden earrings dangling" if I say what I want about this, I think I'll be institucionalized

"You are outside" "I got turned around" ... BY WHAT ??? THE WIND ????

"a red sun was doodled near your thumb" is this the first drawing we did ? 🥺

“It wasn’t personal” alright COOL GUY go fuck yourself

of songbirds, swords, and spice (2)

pairing: Opla!Zoro x Opla!Sanji x Fem! Reader (no use of Y/N or L/N)

tw: this chapter contains blood & violence (makin' the live action more realistic lets goooo)

🏴‍☠️ read on AO3 🏴‍☠️

(masterpost)

(<- previous chapter)

Sanji blinked. The beautiful voice was gone, but the enchanting woman stood before him, her shocked expression morphing into simmering anger. Lovely and vicious. She and Nami would get along. One of the bandits fired into the air and there’s a surge of rapid movement, as fierce as a hurricane, as guests scramble to their feet. Tables and chairs went upturned, drinks spilled on the floor, alongside shattered plates and silverware. They fled. There were glimmers of gold here and there between flashes of streetwear as the staff directed citizens to the back exit. Usopp sidestepped into the flow of fleeing bodies and nervously looked behind him.

“Honestly.” Sanji stood. “Does no one have respect for the arts anymore?”

“Show was getting borin’ anyways.” Zoro unsheathed his sword.

Nami gripped her staff and looked at the crew before she nodded and jumped over the table. A scimitar whistled through the air, its silver blade glinting, and Sanji flattened himself to the floor. A single sweep of his leg knocked the bandit off-balance before he could strike Nami. There was a second of respite – as there often was in battle – and he used it to check on Nami and the performer.

Crack! Nami’s staff landed against a pirate’s jaw. Where’s the performer...he swiveled toward the exit. You were near it, but you weren’t running away. Wait. She’s not running?!

The sheer, billowing fabric of your performance robes trailed your movements. You held your microphone stand and thwacked a bandit in the stomach. The bandit grunted, doubled over, but recovered quickly. He leveled his pistol at your head.

No!

He ran toward you, but Zoro slid into his field of vision. His blade arced upward and cut through bone and muscle as if were warm butter. The bandit’s arm dropped onto the floor. A heartbeat. The bandit screamed, fell, clutched his bloody appendage to his chest, and desperately tried to halt the gushing fountain of blood from his elbow. Splotches of wet crimson saturated the front of your robes in sticky, and shiny dark patches.

“I had him.” Sanji huffed, swiping his blonde hair out of his face.

“Sure,” Zoro said sarcastically.

He flicked his blade outward and the excess blood splattered onto the floor and on your robe’s navy and white skirt. You didn’t flinch. Interesting. How often does this establishment get overrun with pirates? He wondered.

“You should get out of here,” Sanji said to you, “we can handle this.”

“No.” You lifted the microphone stand and rested it over your shoulder. “Duck.”

Sanji didn’t think twice. He ducked. The rounded base of the stand smashed into a bandit’s face, sending her reeling backward and clutching a bloody nose. He bounced back to his feet and offered you his most charming, most grateful smile. Your pretty face was freckled with blood and glistened with sweat. He can’t afford to get distracted by your beauty, however. The Cupidon Doré – the golden cupid – was still under threat. He remained close, avoiding your wide swings of the microphone stand. He roundhouse kicked a bandit. They crashed into a table, breaking it in half. One of Usopp’s ammunition whizzed past his head and ricocheted off a golden cherub before it struck a bandit in the eye.

He followed Usopp’s attack by dropping into a one-handed handstand position and – “Oof!” the bandit cried as Sanji’s kick slammed into his ribs. He used the momentum, spun in the opposite direction, and the second blow hit the bandit’s lower back. The bandit sprawled onto the floor beside broken plates and glass, dazed and groaning.

“Gum Gum Punch!” Luffy shouted, sending the leader of the blood bandits' through the wall. The Sheetrock crumbled and fell in large dusty chunks and exhumed a cloud of dust and debris. Whew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood in the middle of the destroyed dining room, heart pounding, your clothes sticky with blood, and muscles throbbing from swinging the microphone stand. You and these strangers managed to thwart the bloody bandits. Estella’s gonna be pissed.

“Did you seriously have to break our wall?” you asked between gasps of air.

“Sorry,” Straw Hat replied bashfully, “who were those guys?”

“They announced their name,” you said, placing the microphone stand back on the stage. “The fearsome bloody bandits.” You glanced at the cloying pool of blood and abandoned dismembered arm. Yikes. However, you couldn’t muster any sympathy for the poor bastard. He was going to shoot you. If not for the green-haired swordsman, you weren’t sure you’d be here. Although—the blonde one was right behind him. Maybe your luck wasn’t so bad.

You said, “They wear red so their enemies cannot see if they’ve been injured.”

“That’s stupid,” the swordsman said.

“Yeah, they’re not the most creative.”

“I’ve never heard of them,” Straw hat interjected.

“Do they bother you a lot?”

You didn’t have time to answer the staff-wielding woman because Estella shouted your name. She wheeled into the room, crushing shards of glass, plates, and splinters of wood along her way.

“I’m okay, grandma. I’m okay,” you assured her, “the blood isn’t mine.”

Your gaze lifted from Estella’s worried, wrinkled face to the swordsman. He stood with his arms crossed, his clothes dappled in blood, though nowhere near as badly as yours. Should you thank him? No. That wouldn’t be right. It wasn’t only him who saved the golden cupid.

“Thank you,” Estella said before you could, “I am in your debt. You may call me Madam Estella and this is my granddaughter--” she introduced you and you awkwardly bowed your head. As politeness demanded, Estella asked for their names, so she could thank them properly. The one with the red vest and straw hat was the first to speak.

“I am Monkey. D Luffy,” he said, “captain of the Straw Hats and future King of the Pirates.”

The future king of the pirates? Despite the dubious tone of your thoughts, you caught yourself smiling at Luffy’s earnest and determined expression. He believes it. I can see it all over his face.

Estella said, “You’re better pirates than this group of brainless jellyfish.” She shot a disdainful glare at one of the unconscious bloody bandits.

The Straw Hat pirates introduced themselves as Nami, Usopp, Sanji, and Zoro. You wondered if Estella viewed them—and you – as fools for their bravery or if she was truly grateful because the golden cupid was saved. You hadn’t been thinking about bravery during the fight. At first, you fought because you needed to ensure Estella evacuated safely. Then, Zoro saved your life and you kept fighting out of instinct, not bravery.

“Allow us to thank you properly. I assume your dinners were cut short? Come and have dinner at our home, stay the night if you wish, and tomorrow I will compensate you for your service.” Estella reached out and took your hand between hers.

Nami repeated, “compensation?”

“What?” You pulled your hand away. “Grandma, are you serious?”

“You need a bath.”

“They’re strangers!”

Estella tutted, pushed her wheelchair toward the door, and said, “All friends start as strangers, dear.”

You pressed your fingertips on your temples. Clearly, Estella had forgotten all the rules from nine years ago. We aren’t supposed to have strangers in the house. You lamented her decision, but you couldn’t overrule it. It’s her house. If she wanted to have guests then you couldn’t stop her. You collected your blood-stained skirts between your hands and walked briskly to catch up.

The palm leaves rustled overhead beneath a sky without stars—the full and bright moon—had stolen the show and outshone them.

Luffy fell into pace next to you and tucked his hands into his shorts’ pockets. “You know, I saw the waiters stealing from the VIP section.”

“They must’ve needed the berry,” you replied.

“Nah, I don’t think it was that.”

“Are you telling me that you’re a pirate who doesn’t steal?”

“Well,” he drawled, “I wouldn’t say that.”

You shook your head. “If you have questions about the performance then you can ask Estella. She’s in charge. Not me.”

“Okay!” Luffy’s long strides had an easier time catching up to Estella than you did. “Madam Estella, I have a question.”

You doubted she’d tell him about her longest-running con. The performance on every full moon was a front, a ruse, for you to use your devil fruit ability and clear out the pockets of Nightingale’s richest tourists. In the early days, before you settled on Nightingale Island, you used your voice to help you and Estella out of a dozen—no, a hundred—different situations. You had beguiled ship captains for free passage, slipped from Marine arrest, and incited brawls among rival pirates. Thankfully, that part of your life was over. You lived a quiet, comfortable life now. You sighed.

“Are you alright?” Sanji asked.

“Huh?” You blinked, surprised by his genuine tone. Who are these people? They were unlike any other pirates you had met.

“Not everyone walks away from a fight like that without shaking.”

“It’s not the first time they’ve come around,” you explained. “The three bird islands; nightingale, sparrow, and heron, they visit them every six months.”

“There isn’t a marine base on this island.” He placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it. “So, what happens usually?”

“Estella pays them off.” You frowned at the back of Estella’s head, her long silver-white braid swaying behind her chair. “I guess she forgot to do it or...something.” Your frown deepened.

Estella always remembered her payments. The bloody bandits were punctual and came to the island at the end of the six-month mark without delay. Estella put their payment inside a marked tree hole near the port. Did someone steal it? Or did Estella want the bandits to arrive?

“I doubt they’ll return anytime soon,” Sanji said, exhaling smoke.

You’re more than inclined to agree with him. The bloody bandits wouldn’t return to Nightingale until they had regrouped their forces and stitched their wounds. You hoped they wouldn’t seek retribution and worried, not for the first time, how safe this island was. You and Estella used to spend no more than a year in one place. You weren’t sure why she chose to place roots here, but you had your assumptions.

As Sanji had said, Nightingale Island lacked a military presence which allowed for more freedom. But, more than that, the local community of the island was close-knit and supportive. The tourists came to the island to walk the beaches of black sand, witness the migration of massive sea turtles during mating season, and explore the multiple caverns and caves scattered throughout the island’s wilderness. The three bird islands were known for their impressive networks of caves and the East Blue had no shortage of daredevils seeking their claim to fame or bored rich people.

Your two-story home was built next to the orphanage. At the gate, Estella stopped in front of a statue of a kneeling woman surrounded by children and she – as she always did – kissed her fingertips and touched the statue’s face. A bronze plate on the statue’s base read: ‘Thus you shall go to the stars’.

“Celesta?” Nami said, “is she someone famous from here?”

“No.” Estella’s brown eyes were glassy in the raw, sharp moonlight and she gazed upon the countenance of the statue with longing. “She was my daughter.”

Usopp’s expression was painfully sympathetic. You were tempted to look away, but you forced yourself to meet his tender gaze. These pirates are so weird.

“Your mom?” he asked.

You said, “No.”

Celesta was like a big sister to you, but you didn’t miss her like Estella did.

“I built the orphanage for her,” Estella explained, “I may have failed her as a mother, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t fail again for any other child in this world.”

A heavy, melancholy silence fell over the group and it felt like wearing an oversized itchy sweater. You stepped ahead and said, “I’ll get cleaned up and start dinner. Maybe you can give them a tour, Grandma?”

The sorrow on Estella’s face dimmed. “What a lovely idea, dear.”

There that’s better. You hated to see Estella haunted by her regrets. She was a good person. What happened between her and Celesta wasn’t her fault, but you had had that conversation before and it led to dead-ends and tears every time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A warm huff of steam fanned your face. Your tongs, holding one of the lobster tails, dripped with hot water as you fished them out to let them cool.

Estella’s kitchen was a myriad of colors. The children liked to draw and Estella never told them ‘No, children, you can’t draw on the furniture’. The light wood counter was decorated with ugly chickens, girls holding hands, and flowers and snails. The support beams were scratched with measurements of height and hearts and turtles and clouds.

When the children first started, you hated it. You told Estella to tell them to stop and she had looked at you with so much sadness in her eyes that you stormed off. Later, she had said, ‘My dear, you can draw on the walls too.’ and you argued that you weren’t a baby anymore and Estella had stroked the side of your face and said ‘Don’t let him take your joy away, don’t give him that power.’

It had taken you a while to realize that you were angry at the young children because you were jealous. You never got to draw on the walls as a child and it wasn’t fair that they could. But, you grew up and stopped caring about the conglomeration of artwork that decorated Estella’s kitchen.

Someone knocked on the door frame and said, “Would you like some help?”

Sanji leaned onto the doorframe, hands in his pockets, a soft curl of his blonde hair falling artfully over his brow.

You dropped a spoonful of oil onto the cast iron pan. “You can cook?”

“Did you miss my introduction?” he asked, “I said I was the chef on the Going Merry.”

Huh. You had to have missed it. You were too busy thinking about Luffy’s declaration and his fierce determination reflected in his eyes.

Sanji was framed in the colors of summer and misty plumes of vapor shrouded your line of sight. You swallowed. Normally, cooking on performance night was unheard of. If the bloody bandits hadn’t attacked, then the kitchen at the golden cupid would’ve made dinner for you and Estella. Fuck it. You wouldn’t mind his help.

“I’m making seafood paella,” you said.

“What can I do?”

“The onions, tomatoes, and garlic need to be chopped.”

“Aha.” He smiled. “Easy enough.”

You picked up a wet, slimy shrimp and began to devein it with a small knife. You didn’t look at Sanji beside you, but you felt his eyes flickering to you, the weight of words unsaid lingering in the air between the scent of cooked rice and lobster. Chop, chop, chop – Sanji’s hand was steady and practiced, and his technique was precise. He’s doing a better job than I ever could.

“What herbs are you using?”

You gestured with your knife to Estella’s recipe pinned to the wall. It had been your saving grace for years because you were hopeless without her explicit directions.

“Saffron, paprika, cayenne, pepper flakes, salt,” you replied, “and I’ve got fresh parsley to serve it with.”

“Do you like to cook?”

You laughed and the rhythm of Sanji’s knife against the cutting board stuttered.

“Not really.” You picked up another shrimp. “I learned because Estella doesn’t want to hire anyone to cook for her.”

“Why not?”

Because she trusts four people in this entire world and I’m one of them.

“You’re a curious bunch of pirates,” you said instead of answering his question.

“Curious as in strange,” he said, tilting his head, “or curious as in nosy?” He smiled and the light caught a flicker of silver beneath his tongue, well-hidden, but noticed by you.

You clarified, “Nosy.”

“You and Estella are an interesting pair.” He added rice to the pan without your instruction and you were grateful you didn’t need to walk him through it. “She reminds me of someone – someone I used to work for.”

The fondness in his tone surprised and intrigued you. You met Sanji’s clear blue eyes. Wild blue, you thought, the color of the cloudless sky while at sea…so much blue that you could stare and go mad. The aromatic, earthy spices flooded your nostrils, the shrimp was cold between your fingers, and your heart did a funny, backward somersault.

“Your dynamic is familiar,” he said, adding tomatoes and green beans to the dish and increasing the heat. “And perhaps it’s made me a little homesick.”

Homesick for what? For who? You wondered.

“It’s a long story.”

He wiped the countertop and said, “We have time.”

Too bad, you thought, I’m not telling you anything. Your history with Estella wasn’t meant to be shared. It was safer that way. Yes, the straw hats were pirates who saved 'the golden cupid', but that didn’t mean you trusted them. Trust had to be earned and fought for.

“Who does Estella remind you of?”

“It’s a long story,” he said, stirring the rice.

Your heart repeated its funny, little somersault. You shook your head and took the parsley from the herbs hanging off the wooden rack. Your knife work was much, much clumsier than Sanji’s and you roughly chopped the parsley before setting it aside in a small bowl.

Sanji cleared his throat. “Didn’t you say you were using parsley for the garnish?”

“Yeah, why?” You asked while wiping the knife clean with a rag.

His eyes remained on the paella when he replied, “Because you chopped oregano.”

Your jaw was unhinged and a warm, prickly heat clawed its way up your neck. You dumped the bowl’s contents into the trash.

“The fresh herbs aren’t labeled!” you retorted, embarrassment sharpening your tone.

“Here”–he reached over your shoulder and plucked the aforementioned herb free– “It’s this one.”

His lanky arm brushed against your shoulder and you caught a whiff of vanilla with a spicy undertone, wholly unrelated to the seafood dish cooking nearby. I think I’m having a heart issue, you thought worriedly, maybe I’ll see a doctor tomorrow.

“Thanks.”

“Normally I wouldn’t say anything. It’s not my kitchen, after all, but…” He pushed his hair out of his face, smiling. “I couldn’t let a wonderful dish like this be ruined with oregano.”

Your eyes connected through the misty clouds of fragrant steam. Once again, you were baffled by these pirates—by this man in particular—who fought nearest to you and offered his help in a stranger’s kitchen. It doesn’t matter how interesting they are, you reminded yourself, they’ll leave tomorrow. No one stays on Nightingale Island. Pirates especially weren’t known for their desire to stay put.

“Is dinner ready yet? I’m starving,” Luffy asked, bounding into the kitchen. “Neat drawings. Are these yours?”

You broke eye contact with Sanji.

“No, they’re from some of the children next door.”

“I like this one,” he said, pointing at a child’s rendition of Gold Rodger. “Do you think they’ll draw me once I’m King of the Pirates?”

You smiled. “If you’re lucky.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When dinner was served, Estella said, “Oh good, you didn’t burn the rice this time.” You covered your face with your hands and groaned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner, Estella ushered everyone into her ‘trinket room’. Zoro didn’t know why the old bat didn’t show this room during her tour, but he wasn’t going to ask. The tour had been a waste of time and consisted of everyone else asking a dozen questions to which Estella answered with long-winded stories and unrelated anecdotes. He wished, more than once, that he was back on the ship taking a nap. The chilly room was as large as the dining room and filled with...junk. Old paintings of beaches lined the wall and glass display cases contained rocks and jars of dirt.

Nami’s face lit up at Estella’s collection of brass telescopes and Luffy smeared his face and palms against a glass box at the center of the room.

“Noticed those, have you, Luffy?” Estella asked.

Zoro peered around Luffy’s shoulder. It was a glass box with more boxes inside. There were four stands, although one was empty. A jade box, an onyx box, and a lapis lazuli box were stored within the glass. The boxes were etched with lines, like impressions, and Zoro scratched the back of his head. What’s the big deal?

He asked, “Do you have any swords?”

“No.” She shook her head. “They’re too expensive.”

He exhaled shortly through his nose. She wasn’t lying. He hadn't found a swordsmith yet, but his broken blades were a lost cause. He would need to buy brand new ones before they entered the grand line.

You draped a blanket over Estella’s lap and stood next to her. She’s protective. His eyes trailed across your shoulders to your arms. She’s strong, though. He wouldn't have guessed it on his first impression. You had stood on the destroyed remnants of wood and glassware, drenched in blood, and didn’t waver.

“Have you heard of the great pirate Pandora?” asked Estella.

“No,” Luffy replied eagerly, “who were they?”

“It’s said that Pandora hid her treasures inside these puzzle boxes.” Estella smiled. “It’s my dream to someday have all four.”

“You should find them. You’ve already got three,” Luffy said, pointing to the case.

“Grandma is a little too old to travel the East Blue hunting fairy tales,” you interjected.

“I don’t think so,” Luffy said, “if you have a dream then you should go for it. Your age doesn’t matter.”

Estella smiled again, but you didn’t object to Luffy’s bold optimism this time. This – at least – he understood. Some people heard Luffy speak but they didn’t listen to what he was saying. Even if I’m old and graying...I’m going to be the world’s greatest swordsman. Hopefully, he would hold the title until his death.

“Where did you get all this stuff?” Usopp asked.

A chubby black cat strutted into the room and Estella patted her lap.

“All over,” she said, “my granddaughter and I explored quite a bit of the East Blue before we settled here.”

That topic gathered everyone’s attention but his. You sat on your knees by Estella’s lap and scratched the cat behind the ears, offering gentle corrections to Estella’s story, but otherwise remained quiet.

Hmph, he thought, this is weird. When you had performed, Zoro forgot to breathe, to move, every nerve-ending was alive and buzzing at the saccharine sound of your voice. But whatever happened within the golden cupid had faded. Now, the only person on the crew who was affected by you was Sanji and that was because the shitty cook couldn’t tie his shoes if a beautiful woman was nearby. Idiot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You paced. Your bedroom was bathed in pale moonlight. There was no hope of sleeping tonight. The joyful songs of crickets and calm ocean waves fell on deaf ears. You couldn’t sleep with strangers in the house. Estella offered them the guest bedrooms which were upstairs with yours’. Every creak of the floorboards and every clanging interior pipe brought your hair on end. You scooped Mimi up and the overweight cat purred in your arms, but wouldn’t be held for long before she jumped free.

“I see how it is,” you grumbled, “you’re my best friend when I’m slicing tuna, but you won’t keep me company tonight?”

Mimi pawed at your closed door and looked over her shoulder, her big eyes flashed, reflective in the moonlight.

“Spoiled.” You opened your door. Mimi sauntered into the dark hallway, her tail curved into a question-mark shape and twitching. I’m not sleeping so I might as well take a walk. You tightened the sash on your robe and followed Mimi down the stairs. When you first moved to Nightingale Island, you walked at night because you were afraid that someone from your past was inside every shadow. You walked to ease your nerves and prove to yourself that no cutthroats or bounty hunters were hiding in barrels or waiting on the black beaches. The weathered floors welcome your bare feet in gentle familiarity. You skipped the second to last step on the stairwell—knowing it creaked like a gunshot—and you didn’t want to wake Estella who slept on the first floor. Mimi pranced by your legs, demanding your attention, and you gently nudged her away with your foot.

“Traitor, I’m not feeding you.”

Mimi, who you were convinced understood human language, made a soft ‘mrrow’ chirp before she abandoned you and darted toward Estella’s room. You better not wake her you little rat. You quietly opened the backdoor and silently closed it behind you. The brackish night breeze stirred your silken robes and teased your exposed ankles. You inhaled deeply and found a semblance of peace in the quiet freedom of being outside. The backyard wasn’t large, but the bordering underbrush led to narrow pathways created by the tiny, traversing feet of children straight to the ocean. I walked these paths first, you thought, pushing a branch aside before the children came to live next door.

The closer to the ocean you got, the lighter your steps became, and the tension in your shoulders relaxed. I should check the drop-off tree, you remembered your conversation with Sanji. There’s no way Estella forgot to pay them. You hadn’t wanted to ask her while the Straw Hats were visiting because you didn’t want them to start asking for payments, too. You had seen Estella’s accounting books. The golden cupid fared well, but there was a reason she continued her long-con with you. The berry stolen from wealthy tourists helped provide for ‘Celesta’s Home for Lost Children’.

A swordsman drenched in gossamer light and made ethereal stood beneath the arching palm trees. Your heart bounced into your throat. They’ve found me. They’ve finally found us. Your lip wobbled. The swordsman had to have heard you—although you didn’t recall making a sound—because he turned his head. The three golden earrings dangling from his earlobe caught a fraction of moonlight and glinted.

“Zoro?” You rubbed your palm against your terrified heartbeat.

“Hey,” he greeted you like it was normal to stand around in the middle of the night.

The cool sand threaded through your toes as you walked towards him.

“What are you doing?” Your voice was apprehensive and a foreboding sense of doom gripped your lungs. What if he isn’t part of the Straw Hats? He infiltrated them, and earned their trust, but his true goal was to come here and kill us. It didn’t matter how friendly they all appeared whilst at dinner. Maybe all of them are bad. They’re all hired killers. A memory of warm blood squirting onto your robes, the bandit’s fingers twitching on the floor, and Zoro’s intense, focused expression as his dark eyes met yours through the arcing spray of blood. Your heart skipped and you resisted the urge to run back home. If Zoro was dangerous, then you needed to kill him first and then secure the house.

He said, “’m looking for the kitchen.”

You looked around in case this was a strange stress-induced dream. Or maybe you had missed the creaky step and tripped over Mimi and you were unconscious on the floor.

“You are outside.”

“I got turned around,” he replied nonchalantly, resting his wrist on his sword hilt. “You?”

“I was taking a walk.” You adjusted the front of your robe to ensure it was closed. “I like walking.” Why did I tell him that? He didn’t need to know.

Zoro looked away to the rolling dark blue waves and glittering black sands. The tide was going out, pulling seashells and seaweed with it. Maybe Zoro was drunk. That would explain how he managed to wander out of the house. Great, he’s just a drunken swordsman. Nothing to be afraid of. As much as you wanted to leave Zoro here and let him find his way, you knew Estella wouldn’t be happy if she found out that you abandoned her guest. Drunk or not—you had to help him.

“Can I walk you back to the house?” you asked, “and I’ll even show you where the kitchen is.”

Zoro shrugged. “Sure.”

Your eye twitched. Deep breath, you said to yourself, he’s drunk and lacks social manners.

There was a strange phenomenon that always occurred whenever you took your nightly walks when the walk to the ocean was shorter than the walk home. However, tonight, that phenomenon didn’t happen. You were hyper-aware of Zoro’s nearly silent steps in the sand behind you. The palm trees whispered secrets overhead. The ocean’s lullaby grew quieter and quieter. Every few steps, you wanted to check over your shoulder and ensure he was upright and coherent and didn’t get lost again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tell Zoro to help himself to any food or drink within Estella’s pantry. ‘She won’t drink it all,’ you had said. You stopped before leaving him and gripped the doorframe—a red sun was doodled near your thumb. It was as bright as blood. You swallowed and turned partway to see him. If you were going to say it, then you might as well face him when you did. He leaned against the countertop with the beer bottle’s neck dangling between his long fingers. You couldn’t read his expression. Bored, maybe? He was nowhere near as animated as the rest of his crew. The kitchen light muddled his mossy hair, making it appear a sickly yellow-green.

“Zoro?”

“Hm?” His dark, pensive eyes jumped from a spot on the floor and locked with yours. Now or never, your other hand flexed into a relaxed fist, I would be dead and gone if not for him. You thought of Estella building a statue in your honor, kissing her fingers and pressing her wrinkled palm against your stone cheek.

“Thank you for saving my life.” The words rushed out of you, jumbled and earnest. You blinked back your tears, tilting your face from Zoro before he could notice the telltale glossiness of your eyes. Your heartbeat echoed a lonely thrum in your ears.

The silence stretched, elongating like the streaks of moonlight through shadows of palm leaves. Why hasn’t he said anything? He was drunk, probably, and maybe didn’t hear you. But you couldn’t say it again. It would be mortifying to say it twice.

Your forearm and elbow trembled as the edge of the doorframe bit into your tightly curled fingers.

“It wasn’t personal,” said Zoro, finally breaking his silence.

You nodded, curt and short, and left Zoro to his lukewarm beer and quiet contemplation—or perhaps it truly was boredom.

You skipped the second step on the stairwell because it creaked like a broken ship’s hull and you definitely didn’t want to wake Estella. You were afraid everything would spill out of you if you saw her: your confusion and curiosity about the Straw Hats, your present fears, the tense moments you had shared with Zoro, and the quiet ones shared with Sanji, and the light you saw in her eyes when she shared her trinket room and talked about Pandora.

Your heart was pounding by the time you reached your room and closed the door, leaning your knobby spine against it. You rubbed your tired eyes with your fists. How could one day feel like ten years?

“Mrreooow!” Mimi called from the other side of the door.

“Rat,” you said affectionately, opening it, and following her to your bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: this chapter was supposed to be so much shorter lmao. i hope u are all having a lovely time <3 thank u for reading

#NO PROOF READING THIS LIVE STAR REACTION WE DIE LIKE MEN

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sethdomain · 2 years ago

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//vent

sometime i just really hate being left alone with my own though.

it keep spiraling into suicidal thoughts.

its just, its so clear at least people around me has their shit together, while i don’t. day by day im slowly being bothered by it, im not normal nor do i act like other people.

i always envy people around me. although i know they have their own problem and i shouldn’t be jealous of them, but i can’t help but wish i was them. what it would be like to enjoy talking with other people and having very close supportive connection in everywhere you went.

i don’t enjoy anything in life anymore nor do i know what i’m going to do with it. every day, i would wake up and do things i hate everyday. Making art and drawing day by day feels more more dull. i would be in the most funnest place ever and i would still want to end my life. even if im surrounded with friend, i just can’t help but still fucking find a way to want to bash a rock in my head.

i just don’t know whats the point of living anymore if everyday is just like this and this. and even if i try to see more to it... i just cant. for my parents? no, i don’t know if i love them anymore, friends? i just cant bring to care, they probably just will shed one tear for me if i die and then they will move on(good for them) my cats? maybe. my other relatives sibling? i love them, but i havent interacted with them for years

ugh i can’t help but also look back at myself some years ago. how did i do it? the world seem to always bring joy for me although everyone that surround me treats me like a freakshow(i mean they still do), art was so enjoyable and i always put effort in every six packed werewolf i drew. God i was also so likeable now im nothing like that. im now a fucking loser who can’t fucking be chill for once in their life.

and for now, my autism is biting me in the ass and its fucking me in school, people keep treating me like a freakshow in school like i have a toddler iq. this is why i don’t want to put a sunshine persona in school, people would always fucking treat me like a child. how is this relevant? well it makes me hate myself more and want to kill my own reflection, fuck bro why you like that.

ugh i don’t even care about my dignity anymore, beside the voice in the back of my head always reassure that it wouldn’t even matter anyway, you’ll kill yourself soon enough anyway!

i just can’t wait till they put me on a mental hospital or something, i swear day by day im just gonna snap and no one seems to care enough to help me even if i keep showing obvious hint for depression and suicidal tendencies. yeah totally normal for me to be holed up in my room and avoiding contact for years! totally normal attempt to stab myself and many other things!

you know while you read this let me tell u a story that happened. see, i was like 11. me, i was crying like a bitch in some meatball restaurant(its not a fancy one its like on the street), of course my family was embaressed of me, so my parents try to drag me into the car, but i don’t want to like the little bitch iam.

my parent was pissed. so my mom threatened to leave me behind in there, i of couse cry louder which prompted my dad to just drag me to the car and he put me in the back of the car. after i was in the car they started driving, i was still crying in the back.

they were annoyed i was crying loud as fuck in the back. its been 15 minutes. my mom was so annoyed so she poured cold water all over me, which just make sob and cry louder, so she yells at me to stop so of course this time i try to be quiet, so i just sob little cry while i whimper in the back seat.

and then slowly i sleep and close my eye. i didn’t dream anything but i think i feel peaceful.

and then i woke up, we’re in a highway, my mom then asked if i was okay, and then i said i was fine.

mor4al of the story: Don’t be a childish little bitch over a meatball, people will be annoyed at you nor do they have the patience for you.

#tw suicide #ignorelist #sorry for now i can't determind wether i would do it or not #i just hope i would nnot do it

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huhnerkopf · 3 years ago

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I have a life full of love and i feel so very lucky! I have a Lu, and i am her snail and i love her and she loves me and thats all that matters to me is having a happy home with her and our pets while going on little adventures together. We cuddle a lot and kiss sometimes and have sex occasionally. And ive lived with her for a year, going on two. Things feel happy!

But damn it has sure gone by quickly. Maybe thats just me hitting 25 and feeling the fractions of my life just getting bigger and it freaks me out. My dad had a stroke last year age 55 and lost some of his vision, fine motor skills, and his perception of time. All of which sucks and is super sad because now he cant game his favorite genres anymore and he'll never be able to finish building his plane and fly it himself.

Im a fucking adult and trying to finish college before im 30. Accruing student debt and working a crap half time job at Walmart answering corporate customer service calls to pay the bills.

But i have a job. And i have a family that still loves me even though im queer. And a cat and a desire to learn and a happy home im proud of and cozy in. I love pinball! And being outside. I try to fill my free time with pinball and lounging outside. I am having a great time, and on god its because i stopped holding myself accountable for the world and started holding myself accountable for my own experiences. Ditching my social studies and moving to computer science was key for shifting my focus.

Now i still have scary depression and anxiety thoughts, and i still have ADHD, but i have the tools and mindset and support to overcome.

Wish i felt confidence in my creative outlets. I need to draw and paint more. And smoke less. Eat more fruits & veggies and less sugars & carbs. Do some deliberate exercising. But, thats really my only critique.

This post is for no reason other than a reflection of myself. Thanks for reading.

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 4 years ago

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Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)

So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.

I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.

I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)

🍰 for @shotosimp2

Romantic Matchup

Oikawa Tooru

How yall met

Ok im ngl

Y'all had know clue who each other were

Well that's a lie

Of course you knew who Oikawa was

But you just didn't care

Now Oikawa always saw you around school

You know...in the school uniform

But one day

He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory

And apart of him was like bitch wtf

And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗

So he approached you and complimented your outfit

And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading

Wait

You just said thanks???

No fan girling????

Not even a blush??????

Nothing????????????

OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street

But you went to school with him?

So you had to know who he was right?

Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction

The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you

And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know

Oikawa: >:o

Then Iwa had a brilliant idea

Get this

Maybe

Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him

Wild theory I know

So now Oikawa had a new goal

Befriending you

It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together

Soon enough you guys became close friends

And oikawa was happy with just being your friend

At least...he thought he was

But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months

And even though you had each others numbers

Everything without you just seemed so dull

Omg

Did he really have feelings for you?

The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you

Like LIKED liked you

So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you

And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too

So you said yes

What they love about you

He loves how normal you treat him

Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity

Expected it even

But the more time he spent around you

The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally

Ok screw what your friend says

He loves your humor!

Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit

If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages

85% of it would be dumb ass memes

And honestly

This boy makes jokes about his trauma too

“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”

“Sure”

“My existence”

“...”

“Ayyyyy”

He loves how easy it is to talk to you

Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before

And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE

So yeah

Trust between you two

ASTRONOMICAL

What you love about them

You love how supportive he is

If you say you wanna do something

He is right behind you cheering you on

You could tell him you want to commit arson

And he'd just be like

Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅

You can always count on this man to be in your corner

Speaking of

You can always count on oikawa period

Which is another thing that you love about him

If oikawa is anything

He is a man of his word

If he says hes gonna do something

You know he's gonna do it

He's just overall a really reliable person

You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better

Fr after you guys started dating your grades went

Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him

But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better

And if you do improve on something

He is HYPING you up

“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”

Favorite things to do together

Yall love to just go to the store and window shop

Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes

So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room

Taking pictures of your outfits

Then leaving

Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…

But who cares what they think

And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things

Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food

Cause why not

Random Hc

He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME

But like, can you blame him????

You're not even 5 feet tall!!!

“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”

Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”

“Touche”

He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE

Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗

He called you every day while you were studying abroad

He even sent you a oikawa plushie

You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it

When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport

Astrology

Virgo + Cancer

Compatibility 80%

Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.

The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.

If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.

In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.

If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.

If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.

Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.

If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.

This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.

This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.

Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.

Overall Aesthetic

Grunge Glamour ✨

Songs -

Tia tamera (Doja Cat)

Verbratem (mother mother

Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)

Hayloft (mother mother)

Stupid (ashnikko)

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #oikawa hcs #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa headcanons #oikawa tooru

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masou-shoujo · 4 years ago

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eveything is going wrong these days and i dont know what to do

(i just want to write about what im feeling & i think i will be on hiatus until i sort things out, idk)

life was never easy for me and my mom, i cant find a job (i have adhd & depression, i never got past an intervew) & my mom is sick because she have to work for us both (she works as a cleaning lady, i dont know the right word in english), my house isnt finished, we dont have a roof so when it rains theres water everywhere, and a lot of bugs (bugs on my bed, one day i opened the rice and there was 2 inside, bats, stray cats, spiders), my friend fred (dog), was saved because of tumblr, people helped me pay his surgery so he is fine now, but since my house isnt finished the ground is with cement and is giving him some alergies (not grave), he sleeps on a couch but sometimes dont.

they only thing i could do to help my mom was to do something here on my computer, i tried to start drawing but my pen broke, and i tried to do some stream but i dont have a good computer and my hd with games stopped working today, if i could make 200 usd a month it would be the minimum wage here and i could live fine. those things just keep pilling up and now i feel like i cant keep trying. im not brave enough to hurt myself but im not brave to keep living like this. i love to be here since i was a teen but things are really hard for me and i have nowhere to go. i only have my mom and dog and i dont wanna watch them living like this.

i go to a free college but i dont talk a lot w people there, i never met someone with the same likes as me, my boyfriend lives far away from me and i never met him, since i cant go there and i dont want him to come on this place, hes the only person i can talk freely but sometimes he doenst understand what i go trough because he has a big family near him and a job (i dont blame him for it of course).

i just wanna have a comfy house and work with something i can do, i dont spend money with myself and i sometimes cant even look in the mirror, i dont feel pretty, i dont have clothes of my size, everything is gifts or donated. i always sleeped with my mom, i just won a old bed on monday, it is my first bed ever. and i know people have it worse than me, but i still dont know what else i can do. i just want to stay still forever and do nothing. i love everyone here but i will go on hiatus because im feeling sad and i dont know. thank you all for liking my tweets about random things. it makes me feel really good to know people think they are funny like i do. thank you for staying with me.

#i dont wanna stay sad and do nothing but theres nothing for me.

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girlwiththegreenhat · 4 years ago

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thoughts on ur favorite drink? ur favorite art program? thoughts on keeping a sketchbook? on any pets you have?

HELL yeah thanks for the ask i hope u like tangents on tangents and run on sentences because just like my blog description says, I Do Not Shut Up!

favorite type of drink: crystal pepsi

every fucking year i email the Bepsi company and ask when this god damn drink is coming back. last year? literally spent almost all of 2019 moving house, and i got no crystal pepsi anywhere in that time. now it’s 2020. there’s a plague. and the world is burning. and there’s still no fucking crystal pepsi. the moral of the story here is, as soon as pepsi brings back The Good Shit, everything can be nice again. i am .3 seconds away from breaking into pepsi HQ in the midst of this Rioting Chaos just to steal the Crystal Pepsi recipe from their fat stupid noses and start making it myself. I will market it as... Creestöl Bepsi.

oh wait im supposed to talk about the drink, right, shit’s good yo. you know how all clear sodas taste vaguely the same? they all taste like Clear Drink? this is like Clear Drink in it’s purest form. it is the Clearest Drink. with the most Clearest Drink taste. and thanks to it’s (formerly) limited annual runs at the end of summer it literally tastes like nostalgia. I have left the house like twice in the last three months but if they brought back crystal pepsi i would march out of my house like its on fire (wearing a mask of course) and buy every fucking bottle i could find, life savings be damned

so anyway yeah crystal pepsi’s good i guess

favorite art program: begrudgingly, photoshop

adobe may be a greedy bitch baby company who doesnt actually let you buy their software outright but damn,,, photoshop Nice,,, hehehehe,,, i can do so Much with it it’s such a multitool of a program,,, i just upgraded to the 2020 version in february and there’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many more brushes than there were in the 2014 version, and most of them are actually really useful!! i’m living for this guy’s brushes, uh, kyle?? yeah, kyle t. webster. now THAT guy knows how to make some brushes. i’ve been using the same ones for like six years but he’s got this GORGEOUS lineart brush i’ve been using and dear god i love it too much to ever go back. I Will Never Go Back. AND I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT LIKE, BLEND BRUSHES?? there are ones that perfectly emulate real pencils thanks to how photoshop handles brushes, it even wears out and widens with use (you can choose how fast...) and you can TILT your STYLUS to USE THE BROADER SIDE OF THE “LEAD”??? LIKE?? A REAL PENCIL???? still blows my mind,, photoshop’s brush engine is fucking amazing,,

Thoughts on keeping a sketchbook?

sketchbooks are great and i envy people who have those really nice, blank-page sketchbooks with the little rounded corners on each page? and they always fill them with studies and life drawings,,, its so Aesthetic,,,

meanwhile im adamant for some damn reason to do most of my drawings on lined paper still. not the serious ones, but if im doodling, or just doing a sketch i intend to finish in photoshop? composition notebook. i have Dozens of Actual sketchbooks, but those are so nice... i don’t want to fill them with stupid meme drawings and things i wont finish and things i draw Badly and things that i Will finish but not There. i’m glad im not going to college cuz i always hear “oh you have to submit your sketchbooks” im like haha What cuz my sketchbooks,,,, are probably some of the most unprofessional, badly organized, unfinished messes out there,,, like i do studies but it’s all on lined notebook paper and half-destroyed composition notebooks because at the end of 8th grade everyone was throwing out their unused or slightly used school supplies and there was a WHOLE RECYCLING BIN FULL OF COMPOSITION NOTEBOOKS?? MOST OF WHICH ONLY HAD THE FIRST LIKE 15 PAGES FILLED OUT IF THAT???? SO I JUST KINDA. RAIDED IT?? i havent bought lined paper in 8 years and all the school supplies i looted out of the garbage that day carried me all the way through high school. i bought maybe one notebook in highschool, that was it. i think i literally trash picked a lifetime of lined paper,,,

,,, anyway i have a Nice Sketchbook (no lined paper!) ive been toting around since sophomore year of high school. it’s still got printouts taped to it from supernatural and doctor who and black rock shooter. this was seven years ago, i still use it when i want to use Nice Paper, and only now am i approaching the last pages. i also have a separate sketchbook i decided to start using for concept art and sketches for my webcomic i will never actually start working on! that one’s about as professional as i get, it’s full of robot designs and sketches of scenes. its fun.

i am not a real artist aslkdfkljdfskjldsfkjl

Thoughts on any pets you have?

i love me pets! they are not my pets they are my parents pets but i take care of them more so who cares. i love them. i love all three doggos even if Gigi is an old lazy fart that doesn’t care about anything that isn’t sleeping, food, going outside, or bellyrubs. she doesn’t even listen to you if you call her or tell her to do something. i dont know what her deal is. and gemma!! is a depressed muppet. she’s probably just getting old herself even though she’s only,,, seven. we got a third dog and she never got over it. she is still my favorite though, she’s adorable and i love her little under bite and her big goofy eyes that don’t have a single thought or braincell behind them. she floofy and snuggley and a big ol scardey cat who always comes into my room for hours when there’s a Loud Sound outside which is great because i cant sleep when something else is alive in my room and its not me but whatever i cant say no to her, especially now that we’re both on the same floor and i would probably take a bullet for this funky lil fuzzball.

speaking of the third dog that is kiwi i post more pictures of her than anyone else for some reason but she’s a cute lil goblin. i mean what is this thing. what is it!! im not even entirely convinced its a dog, i think its a weird lil alien that knows what a dog looks like and that’s it

what is this thing!! dont know!! she’s plotting though!! i have never seen Thoughts happening in a dogs head before but she Knowes Things. she learned how to slap the other dogs. 80% of the time if you point a phone at her she stops moving because she somehow understands the concept of a “Camera.” she’s a little chaos bagel. a chaos bagel with a critical case of The Zoomies and a burning hatred of feet

we also have a budgie named olive. he’s pretty, but quiet

#liz blogs #ask meme #ask #serialsharkgay #ty for the ask... i love to ramble..... and i have So Many Thoughts All Of The Time.......#dogs #my dogs #long post #one day im going to edit tiny flames into kiwi's eyes because its funny #just get a gif of fire and photoshop it in there

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cleeksfire · 5 years ago

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Personal shit under the cut. Gets pretty heavy.

I’m fairly open about this stuff in general but I just had to let it out. I’m still on my first cup of coffee so I get rambly :P

I have so many different pains I’m embarrassed to bring up new ones anymore. I feel like a burden bringing it up to others (which so many assure me that they’re fine with. and I do appreciate that. But it still feels like I shouldn't. I mean hell I almost left an apology for getting rambly last paragraph.)

Aside from the mental BS I have to fight: combating if I’m “good enough”/imposters syndrome. Trying to focus on the positives in life (there are so many, I really do love my life. I wouldn't change any of it honestly aside from the pains). Constant anxiety making me second guess everything. 3 classes making me feel eternally behind. It’s already a lot but

My physical state wants to play too.

My allergies are on high alert because not only am I allergic to cats (and yes I DO have one, my roommates have two. I WILL put my face in their bellies and you can not stop me. I didn’t know about it until after I got Finx and he is my child. It’s worth it) BUT I’m also allergic to grass pollen??? So summer kicks my ass by sneezing more than usual AND I need to wear long pants the entire time because I’ll break out pretty bad.

My kidneys are still shit. But I need coffee to just get myself through the day.

My shoulders and knees are garbage thanks to my old job. I used to have a personal trainer but he moved/school has made it so I cant continue practicing it

Probably have carpel tunnel in both wrists. (Combo of old job and drawing)

My jaw started to feel disconnected when I lay down? Thats a fun new one. I had to take a week off of weed to see if it was just me being high (which is making the anxiety and depression so much worse cause)

My ribs feel like they’re on fire. It’s very hard to sleep, sit, hell even wear shirts. Comes in waves where I feel like my ribs will burst through my chest. The doctor has 0 clue whats wrong, all tests and xrays look fine which is like...I SHOULD be in perfect health. Why does it feel like I’m dying?

It’s probably stress? I’d love to think most of this will go away after I graduate.

Some probably will but...

I’d like to go to bed without feeling pain.

I’d like to go through a day and feel...good. Fully. It’s been a long time since I have. Despite everything, I still go on my normal busy life. I try to balance school and social life. I never really have downtime to myself, and when I do I have a constant voice telling me what ELSE I should be doing or who I’m “blowing off” or missing out on. Trying to keep mental breakdowns from showing since I’m constantly around people but needing to focus on projects.

Of course, all this affects my relationship. So that's some more fun added stress. He’s super nice about it but...

I am so tired.

I really hope in a year, after I graduate, some of these things will go away.

I really fucking do.

#lifes hard yall #I swear I love my life but gd is it difficult

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sunfish999 · 6 years ago

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if y’all ever wanted to know anything about me... i tried

hm I’m bored (i say this as i should be doing geometry homework

1. read: probably the paladin prophecy, or the finisher (just books i’ve read like 500 times, idk about understanding but--) watch: the vampire diaries? (idk i watched the entire series in 7th grade wygonnad) or aquamarine movie? listen to: XYLO, LUME, more specifically Need Nothing by Verite

2. bro i have no idea who they are actually but I’ve seen like 2 fanfic writers who write exactly like me and seem to think exactly like me i love that. also a reg writer? uh probably mark frost? i aspire to write like f scott fitzgerald but it never gonna happen hun (cos i wanna major in physics not literature lmao)

3. holy fuck lets pick like 3 fandoms, aight? uh first lets go w my hero academia? tokoyami ofc? next... percy jackson bich-- nico LMAO no maybe bianca? hm HARRY POTTER -- ginny prolly although i dont want to date harry (oops) The maze runner? tommy actually ;; naruto? fucKINH ROCK LEE BABE uhhhsdfhh star wars is anakin and voltron is lance (or pidge actually) i should stop buuuut yeao ok

4. i think my name is fine but i aint gonna share it here (also kinda wish my nickname was charly though thats all im gonna say ALSO yes laurel is a faux name yes

5. human being because i do nothing. lol but yes i think that who i am as a person should be based off my actions, for it is how i act that shows other people who i am, not ‘who i am inside’ dont make fucking excuses for your actions people

6. yea i believe in 1 god and i was raised as a catholic christian but i am accepting of all religions and views

7. i mean kinda??? idk im very polish and so i eat lotta polish food (gr8 stuff right there) but im just american so yea

8. muscial artists, well bitch i only started actively listening to lots of music (aka spotify) like last year but i listened to ari grande when i was young ofc but i dont rlly feel connected to her. maybe like, adele? probably her yea

9. yes i am a visual artist (preferred medium is watercolor) i looooove singing although i suck so i just do it for fun, i played the french horn for 2 years (also suck so not really lol) um i also write for fun and im good at writing informative essays (my school is big in the english program lol) i was also in 3 plays but i dislike theatre so no. also i like clothes i am a fashion artist wow

10. tf? idk? i have like 3 mottos: “if you want something done right, do it yourself” “the answer to existence is not why we are here, but how we affected others during our time here” “jack at all trades, master at none, better than a master at one “ “you don’t have to speak to be present” “consider how hard it is to change yourself and realize what little chance you have in trying to change others” “do the scary thing first, and get scared afterwards” “the very fact that you're actively looking for ways to become kinder, and attempting to understand your flaws and change them for the better is fair proof that you as a person, are kind.” OK YEA MAYBE I HAVE A CREED SO WHAT

11. ideal day lol art, reading, and binge watching tv in bed while eating. otherwise spending the day meditating in a forest in spring where its warm but not too warm and just not speaking the entire day

12. both. i have 3 cats and 2 dogs. love all of them dearly though i’d consider myself a human puppy vs a human kitty (im not a furry calm tf down)

13. outdoors, if you mean nature. if you just mean social activity, then indoors

14. as i said before, i like singing even though i suck, in grade school i learned the ukelele, piano, and french horn. i remember none of that now

15. influential books my ass. LETS GO: 1. into the wild (krakauer) 2. Fahrenheit 451 (cant remember author name but its fucking iconic and a classic and it made me think) 3. just gonna go an put harry potter because that shit changed my life 4. the hobbit? idk, iconic 5. i wanna read more literature-y books soon but whatever, i feel like i should say the great gatsby but honestly with writing my essay and everything i just dont give a shit anymore

16. ok i feel like if my parents werent as strict when i was younger id have less depression and be less stressed but then i would also care less about my grades and being kind and i like that about myself sooooo

17. lol this is EXACTLY me guys because its fucking anonymous as hell because i know none of you (except for like 2 mutuals but ive never met them irl but they’re cool) i dont trust my friends. or family, for that matter

18. my patronus is a wolf thanks for asking; and my power animal: symbolizes instinct, intelligence, and an appetite for freedom. embody personal power and balance between self-control and animal instincts. a guide to inspire you to live more freely

19. im a gryffindor, i took the pottermore test twice and got it both times, also, i took it doing the opposite and got slytherin, so i aint them (but i love slytherin sooo)

20. fuck are you serious? honestly hogwarts would be awesome as hell but probably middle earth because it still got the magic but it gorgeous as hell

21. yea i’d probably say i love easily since i like barely talk to my crushes and yet i think i really really like them because GODDAMN

22. school. daydreaming. eating. phone. drawing.

23. i feel like once i move out for college i’d like em a heck of a lot more, so probably like at least once a month? when i’m older? like at least once every 2 months? i love my extended fam though

24. oh fuck my friend from school and i fucking liked chinchillas when we were little, we always text each other the same thing at the same time, i always know what shes thinking and what the basis for her actions is. shes the bff that doesnt always act like it all the time

25. fuck yes

26. pansexual and PROUD but still in the closet except for the whole internet and 3 friends

27. ok honestly i feel like i dress kinda like a basic girl just more minimalistic and modest but i kinda totally want the gays to recognize me and also i fucking want those patterned polos because hell to the yes. and also i want bangs but i do sports and i feel like id look ugly because everyone says they would (waiting til college, naturally) otherwise love my freckles and real dark eyes

28. honestly, probably like a 2-3. i don’t care SO much about what people think, but i’m fucking annoyed by really dumb things super easily. i’m just really good at hiding it so no one ever knows

29. why music wtf OK: 1. need nothing - verite, 2. lover like me - off bloom 3. strapped - FOOL

30. why the FUCK all my quotes are in my creed bitch lemme search :

“growing up is giving up”

thanks for listening to my TED ED talk aaaaand i hope you know me a bit better and i hope i didn’t accidentally give away too much info and someone will come kill me ok BYE

#questionaire #question aesthetic #askthetic #ask #tag urself #if you want

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findteenpenpals · 6 years ago

Text

please be my friend

Hello my name if Kira. I am a 16 year old female. i’m bi. I am very awkward at first I’m sorry but I’ll loosen up after a while. i’m from the USA

Intrests:

-music: lo-fi jazz/hiphop/R&B/indie, Kpop (BTS, Blackpink, Gfriend, Bigbang, IKon ect.), Oldies, EDM, Alternative, Latin, Rock..etc

-photography: I have always loved capturing moments whether its nature, people, or animals.(I am not a professional)

-Shows/Movies: my love for Harry Potter is endless, kdrama (i have several favs), The Originals, Grey’s Anatomy, Anime, Disney… okay since i can’t name them all all name genres instead: contemporary. comedy, animation, thriller, horror( to an extent), mystery, honesty a whole bunch of others too

-Reading/Writing: ive always had a big passion writing and reading. I always have a journal and a book with me. some of my favorite genres would have to be: contemporary, classics, fantasy horror, mystery, non-fiction, paranormal, psychological, young adult, thriller, suspense, horror, poetry…etc

-Art: i cant draw to save my life but i have a major appreciation for art and artist

-Animals: I love animals (animals pictures are always appreciated). i Have 2 dogs and i really want a cat but my parents are allergic :(

- and other things that i cant remember now that i’m trying to talk about myself umm my humor is kind of all over the place like sometimes its like depressed kind of humor then its memes…yeah.. i am also kinda sensitive but like not i don’t know ill stop

What i look for in a pen pal:

just be yourself. be kind. have some good memes (not necessary). its okay with texting, DONT be racist, homophobic or sexist honestly just dont be rude and be open minded. someone in for a long term friendship. i prefer someone my age or older. Guy or Girl doesn’t matter im open to anyone just…be my friend.

princessinhoney

#pen pal #pen pals #penpal #pen pals wanted #Internet friends #15 to 16 #17 to 18 #submission

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smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 6 years ago

Text

tumblr fweinds

a year ago, i was tagged by @suplosers on two questionnaires and it is only now, a year later that i was able to answer em. i’m so sorry it took me this long but yah i’m just glad to get thru dis milestone, answering the first tumblr get to know ya post i was @ at... yaayyy ^^

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I tag: tbd haha i still have to dig thru meh notifs to see which ones apparently took an interest in me so i’d like to take an interest in as well haha but oh @you-guys--are-losers, ur doing this whahaha hope it’s not too much of a bother, no presh watsoever ;3

the last

1. drink: ughh it's dis shitty stuff called hydrite w/c is basically salt water cus im sick rn and it's supposed to rehydrate ur shts or something hahaha

but dat was like a week ago... as of da moment i posted dis, it’s coffee from mini stop dat i drank at like 530 in da morn while i waited until i could enter the school cus i had to commute 3 hours w/ lil to none sleep

2. phone call: my father or one of my best friends

3. text message: the last one i texted was my sister and the last one i got a text from was dis org in school about the location for recruitment/auditions/interview

4. song you listened to: billy jean by michael jackson and i listened to it for meh tomdaya fic hahaha. But i also listened to halo by beyonce, untouchable and dress by taylor swift, and some other songs magmt mentions in her tomdaya fic hehe a week ago

rn, a metal cover of toxic by our last night

5. time you cried: haha i don't actually remember the context of it (i could find out tho haha cus i sent da pic to my best friend) but i took a pic of it while i did it which was on... july 16 hahaha. Oh but w8 oh sht i think i cried after that fudge w8 i don't remember the date (i think i can find this out too hahaha) but i wrote a sortof goodbye confessions letter to one of my dear friends and i wrote there that i externally cried (b4 i just said internally haha) so i'm not entirely sure i cried but i think im pretty sure i teared up hehe

6. dated someone twice: hahaha i haven't even had a legit love interest yet 😆😂 buuutt my best friend and i have "dated" as in spent entire days together w/ just the two of us, we even went to mcdonalds for valentine's day and got each other gifts hihihi aahhh gosh i miss her :'(

7. kissed someone and regretted it: haha im not even sure if dis happened and i have no plans on asking her about it but i remember when i was a kiddo, when my sis came home for some reason i kissed her on the lips hahaha dont remember if accidental or i just brain farted heck i aint even sure if it happened but das all i can answer cus well like i said, see #6 😆😂😆😂

8. been cheated on: hhmmm probs not, i have no idea if ive been cheated on in an unromantic way hahaha but in da romantic way, like i said, no love interest hahaha

Oh w8 does being someone's crush (i aint sure but it seemed like it) and crushing on dat dude but dat dude crushing on someone else too count as cheating? 😆😂😆😂

9. lost someone special: yes, all of my grandparents are dead. I've also lost pets, and i fear i may lose some of my friends due to the distance among us in this time of our lives

10. been depressed: i always wanna be careful over how to define depression. Like wat constitutes it... but yes, i think i have. Not sure, mind you, but yes, at the beginning of gr 7 i was really alone, i think i was bullied and i think i was depressed and going thru a really dark phase of my life back then. But then again, i have to say, i'm not sure.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: hahaha nope. I'm looking forward to getting drunk tho. Im currently underage so im not allowed to drink dat much yet but yeah i wanna know my limits hehehe i hope im da kinda gurl who can handle her liquor but i have drank and i have to say it made me all loopy and weird and just like woke or high or something hahaha so yeah man im excited to get trashed on my 18th bday hahaha (hopefully i get to do this tho huhuhu)

3 favourite colours

12. Pink

13. Blue

14. Gray

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yyeeesssss and i'm so glad i have hihi. I have made friends w/ a select group of my blockmates and they're awesome and weird, i hope to strengthen our bond in da future hehe. Ooohhh and i sure hope that you guys are losers is my friend cus she's been rlly great :')

16. fallen out of love: i guess the closest i've come to falling out of love in a romantic way is moving on from da heavy crushin on meh crush. But i dunno, i still think he's a unicorn n pretty special to me so i dunno hahaha.

But bro, i do think i have fallen out of love. With tv shows, with characters. Like i used to be so passionate about a few shows and characters but now all i have towards them is regret heck i cant even remember wat dey are but i know dat der was love lost. I know it.

17. laughed until you cried: hahaha yaasss i think so. It's either when i was with my best dearest friends or during the class of dis really cool and funny as heck joker teacher who makes us laugh in EVERY SINGLE CLASS hahaha ahhh das guy's so cool

18. found out someone was talking about you: oohh yah yah i think so. Either from my best friends or from a few of my old classmates i care about and had gotten close with. Da best friend ones was about something in my past/history (g7) and the classmates one i think was just dem talking about me and they told me about it ooohhh i think it was my crush hahahaha. They told me dat my crush actually admired me a lot hehe. There was one time my friend (the one who told me about dis) was putting make up on me for a school film, and my crush was da cam guy and he told my friend i looked pretty. Sooo im pretty lucky dat- oh sht w8 i dunno if it's dis year but oh w8 no, it was on my bday last year (dec 20) and da same friend said she was sorry cus apparently da bois make fun of me or something and she was sorry cus she laughed along too hahaha but i didnt mind cus i know im weird and i dont even know what dey say about me in da first place hahahaha. Ok das it im done, i think ive overshared now hahaha 😆😂😆😂

19. met someone who changed you: my best friends. Ive thought about it based on wat sup losers said about change for da better and i dont rlly think of change as something dat happens quick, i think it happens over time and u dont even notice it. So ok oh sht i think im wrong cus i met my best friends 4/6 years ago hahaha but for reals tho, i was in a dark place and if it werent for dem i think id still be lost lonely and sad. Uuhhmmm in regards to answering the question correctly, i guess my blockmates count since they inspire/challenge me to be better. OH SHT W8 i def think you guys are losers and dead end street and tomdaya receipts and tout de suite have changed me hehehe. Da first 2 in dat dey inspired me to write more hehe. Da 1st one inspired me to do this so i think this counts as change hehe. And da last 2 changed me in dat bcus i met dem, i became OBSESSED w/ tomdaya hahaha.

20. found out who your friends are: yes, i have actually. And it's all because i am now currently a college freshman as well as my friends.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: hahaha my fam i guess hahaha. But no one in a romantic context.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: hhmmm i guess id say about 200 since i know 4 sections of around 40 ppl and da rest is like fam and ppl ive met once/twice or have passed by haha

23. do you have any pets: yaaaassss 3 doggos: albie, juju, and biggie girl. Juju has a pupper named tchalla called dat cus he black hehehe and biggie has 2 biglets named mermer (meredith) and crissy (cristina) cus they're sisters 😍😊😊

My fam have also had a buncha dogs n puppers before but they were either given away or passed away. My bro also has dis cat named bob and i think he counts as a semi pet since my bro's home is a fam home.

24. do you want to change your name: uuhhh i wish i had an alliterative name like superheroes. Buutt im pretty happy w/ my name :')

25. what did you do for your last birthday: oohhhh i think i was at my section's christmas party it was pretty nice n emotional and i spent da rest of da day w/ 2 of meh best friends who bought me cake n food when my own fam didn't 😆😂😆😂

26. what time did you wake up: 4 am to shit cus im sick, but fell asleep again and officially got up around 730 or 8ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: haha tryna stay awake cus i had to drink meh meds and failed oh so much and i think i was asleep by midnight hahaha

28. name something you can’t wait for: tomdaya content, chatting/being w/ my best friends, watching da stuff i wanna watch, tumblring, reading sht i wanna read, vacation, writing fanfics, learning how to do a buncha stuff (write screenplays, make films n gifs, draw better), my bday when i hopefully get to do wat i want haha, avengers 4 and smffh, and captain marvel and antman and the wasp too i guess haha oh and the incredibles 2 and httyd 3 😍😍😍 oohhh and crazy rich asians

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: on monday which was when i was at home and not at my dad's n sis' n i's apartment in manila for school/work

31. what are you listening to right now: commercials on da tv as i answer this long ass questionnaire hahaha

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: hahaha i had to think about dis one but yah i have actually haha he was my gr 8 class mate n i like to think semi friend back den at least haha. Oh w8 but he doesn't go by tom tho, it's just thomas haha

33. something that is getting on your nerves: myself hahaha my shitty lazy ass procrastinating self hahaha 😅🙍

34. most visited website: fb specifically messenger, youtube, and tumblr

35. hair colour: hmmm black w/ a bit of brown i guess (ASIAN, YO! 😆😂😆😂)

36. long or short hair: neither, medium i guess haha. I like how long hair looks but it's such a bother n hassle haha. So i def would prefer short hair on a practical standpoint hahaha (im actually thinking of shaving the hair above my nape, yknow on da back of my head hehe)

37. do you have a crush on someone: well i dont have dat much of a crush on da crush i mentioned before, like i said haha. I have a crush on tomdaya, does dat count? 😆😂

38. what do you like about yourself: hahahaha nothing 😆😂😆😂🙍

Naahh uhhh i guess i like how much i love tv shows, i love meh fangirl self, and i like how diff n unique n weird i am, how i stand out, n dat i think my dreams are noble n worth tryin out. N i like how supportive n nice i am n im just chill on da outside haha. N sometimes i like meh face hehe. And i think dat im hilarious n weird n ppl should appreciate me more hahaha das y i crave for more validation dan consulting researchers hahaha (no one laughs at dat jokes and it's like im da only one who finds it funny and come on, man, i managed to make a research joke. Cant ya give a girl a break?)

n i guess sometimes it's good how much i care but sometimes i wish my feels could just chill for just like a minute pls

Thanks, man. I usually just focus on meh bad qualities so thanks for dis question, man :')

oh and i like dat i can swim hehe

39. piercings: i have holes on my ears for earrings but i don't really wear dem

40. blood type: a, i think?

41. nickname: sam, sab, and i rlly want to be called smells cus it's like a more me version of mels from melody hahaha

42. relationship status: single, yo. Oh w8 but i am married to my bed and fandoms so dey always come first. Plus i love my friends 😍😊

43. zodiac: sagittarius i think but i dont rlly know/care about zodiac sht. Tho it's nice if it does match up hehe

44. pronouns: uhhh i dont know wat to put here but i assume dis refers to wat i wish to be referred by ssoooo she, her, and a genderless pronoun in my language siya

45. favourite tv show: ughh i cant choose. Friends, grey's anatomy, phineas and ferb, avatar: the last airbender, black mirror, doctor who, and all of michael schur's stuff, and modern family, grimm, person of interest, pushing daisies, scrubs, happy endings, forever, how i met your mother, gravity falls, sherlock, and yknow wat? Yah, supernatural too and the httyd shows and suits :') oooohhh w8 and how to get away w/ murder and i guess big bang theory as well 😃 the end of the fucking world, legends of tomorrow, crazy ex-girlfriend, the good place, timeless but it’s kinda depressing so speaking of w/c game of thrones and west world and a series of unfortunate events and stranger things and scorpion and lost in space and for anime, let’s go with yakitate japan and boku no hero academia

46. tattoos: none, but i rlly want one and even have a list of tattoos i want (pretty minimalist), i just have to think of da perf place tho (both where to put it and where to get it) and find out if i can still donate meh bod if i have tattoos, but one of da ones i rlly want is smileys on meh fingers hehe

47. right or left handed: right, but my ma says im kinda ambidextrous n i kinda wish i could develop it hehe

48. surgery: haha nope, never. But in terms of an interest, i love grey's anatomy 😆😂

50. sport: ooohh my main sport is swimming cus my siblings are all swimmers so i am too. But i have played other sports for school like badminton, table tennis, volleyball, some water game i dont remember haha, and a combat sport in my country called arnis

51. vacation: christmas vacay and i cant wait huhu

52. pair of trainers: uhhh are trainers rubber shoes? I have a couple, i guess.

GENERAL

53. eating: my dad (who cooked our meal), sis, and i ate afritada (chicken dat's tomatoey basically) for dinner

54. drinking: just water, but ugh i have to drink da hydrite sht again 😑😒

55. I’m about to: finish dis questionnaire n fall asleep haha

56. waiting for: sleep n happiness

57. want: to sleep n write n tumblr n watch n read n for all my problems to disappear

58. get married: yeahhh... but i think it's highly unlikely, man. So i aint counting on it but i do want it to happen, it seems nice having someone to spend da rest of your life with :')

59. career: hahaha i'm still just a college student, just a newly minted freshman actually. But i like to consider myself a fulltime fangirl hahaha

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: well, i havent rlly made out with anyone yet so im gonna have to say hugs i guess w/c ofc i love haha but i wish someone bigger than me could cuddle me for once in my life 😢

61. lips or eyes: lips cus they just seem so soft and sensual hehe. Plus i dunno man, eyes are kinda gross with muta (da sht in da corner of ur eyes when you wake up, it's a filipino word) and sht. And ya have to wear glasses/contacts if dey weak so it's just such a hassle. Tho i do recognize their importance n stuff 😊

62. shorter or taller: ugh TALLER. im a pretty tall gal so for once id like to be da lil spoon for once, for someone to be able to carry me and ya know all dat jazz. But i wouldnt give up my height for anything, makes me feel confident and better than everyone else mwuehehehehehehe

63. older or younger: uuuhhh for now i think it's a bit weird to date someone younger dan me, but for me personally, wat age i'd like to be, YOUNGER ALL DA WAY. it was just way less stressful and innocent back den, id give anything to go back 🙍

64. nice arms or nice stomach: haha nice arms if it means i can swing around them and they can carry me whahaha. But i do like em abs, i wanna feel wat abs feel like just once in my life hahaha

65. hookup or relationship: ooohhh i guess i fancy myself having a relationship for now hehe. Havent even had one yet haha.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: i am a hesitant troublemaker whahahahaha. Like i have all these ideas of thangs to do n sometimes i do dem but sometimes da situation n context scares me into not doing it like a wuss hahaha

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: haha nope.

68. drank hard liquor: haha nope but am looking forward to it hehe

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: thankfully i havent needed any yet whew

70. turned someone down: uhhh i guess the closest i came to "turning someone down" was being awkward around my crush haha but to be fair i think he was awkward too hahaha. And in an unromantic sense, i turned down a blockmate who offered to be my partner in an assignment becus i already had a partner hahahaha 😅

71. sex on the first date: haha havent experienced it if das wat ur askin. Maybe imma be dat kinda person after ive had a couple of relationships but for now i'll settle for someone actually being interested in me hahaha

73. had your heart broken: yes, by tv shows, and by da crappiness of life in general 🙇

74. been arrested: hahahaha nope but dat would be CRAZY hahaha

75. cried when someone died: yes, whether in real life or in tv shows, i have cried bcus of death 😢

76. fallen for a friend: look, man, my best friend's probably the most important person in my life who i couldnt bear to lose. I love her more dan anything in da world so i dunno if our friendship is something more dan da "typical" best friends i just know dat i love her n dat i dont wanna lose her n dat our bond's nothing like any other relationship ive ever had

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: hahahaha not rlly 😅 im pretty unreliable tbh and i make tons of mistakes and ill never be enough ever and just in general hate myself and have 0 self esteem hahaha 😅😅😅😓

But there's a chance i could improve tho, a very very VERY small tiny chance... but i guess i'll take wat i can get :/

78. miracles: hhmmm not in da way most ppl think about miracles in dat, it's da impossible event. I like to think it's a miracle that i have the family dat i have, da friends dat i have, and da life dat i have cus honestly i think i'd be dead w/o em. It's a fucking miracle i have things im passionate about and things that i love and im surrounded by ppl who i love and who love me as well. So yeah, i guess i believe in those kinds of miracles :')

79. love at first sight: hahaha not rlly. Look, man, im a fat girl who doesnt rlly care dat much about looks so unless a person manages to fall for someone while dat someone was doing something dat was a huge indicator of their personality and thus it's not only da appearance dat da person "fell in love w/", den i rlly dont believe in love at first sight. It's just infatuation, bruh. Love at first sight is cheap and u dont rlly know any thing about dat person other than the fact that they're pretty (why they caught ur eye in da 1st place imo) and nothin, zilch. Unless, like i said, they were doing something important to dem n indicative of deir personality. But even then, it wouldnt be love. Like i said, it'd be infatuation cus imo love is deep and takes time and cant just HAPPEN just cus u looked at someone and thought he/she was pretty 😒. True love would mean knowing dat person to deir bone but wanting to know more about dem. So to conclude a ted talk from a bitter person w/ a non existent love life 😆😂😂😂, love at first sight doesnt exist, is cheap, and is discriminatory to "ugly" ppl.

80. santa claus: hahaha i know he probs doesnt exist and is u know basically just capitalism n marketing hahaha. But i dunno, man, i kinda wanna believe he exists just cus it's more fun n childlike n innocent 😍

81. kiss on the first date: hahaha yeah i guess so but i think i probs would have had to known dat person for a while before we decided to date. I havent had a first kiss yet sooo i aint just willin to give dat out to someone i just met/knew for like a day or something hahaha (i have no idea how dating works) 😆😂😆😂😆😂

82. angels: huh... i like to think guardian angels exist cus dat means there are like angels of pure light sent down from heaven to protect us from any harm w/c is just nice to think about, yknow? Hehe. But angels in da catholic sense... i dont think i do, bruh. Sorry :/ *shrugs*

OTHER:

84. eye colour: uuhhhh brown, i guess? Like i said, i dont rlly care much for eyes hahaha 😅 ooohh but da purple eyes thang ive seen on da internet sounds cool hahaha

85. favourite movie: aaaahhhhh there's just so many good movies thoo

But agghh fine. Ive come to notice dat my genre's pretty lighthearted w/c is nice actually hehe

Spider-Man: Homecoming, Rogue One, 10 Things I Hate About You, Moana, Coco, Mulan, Avengers: Infinity War, White Chicks cus it's just so goddamn funny and iconic 😆😂😆😂😍, i'm not- ok you know wat, da Pixar movies in general ok? I mean, how can ya not? Oh which reminds me, Tangled, and The Princess and The Frog, oohh The Avengers is also a pretty solid movie, ooohhh Love, Simon, godhs dat was just such a wholesome sweet n nice movie :'), oh and den i freaking love the Scream franchise, man. It's so good :'), oooohhh w8 maybe The Dark Knight cus heath ledger was just da fuking bomb in dat movie, oohh and About Time's da sweetest time travel movie :') w/c reminds me dat the Back to the Future franchise was just such a classic, man :') oh and yknow wat? Unbreakable's actually pretty fucking cool, man. I get shyamalan know haha. Oh and yknow wat? 100 Tula Para Kay Stella is da 1st filipino film i actually liked so it has a special place in meh heart :')

ooohhh and Black Panther, man, gods how can one not bring up Da King™? WAKANDA FOREVER :') 😄

Oh and hey yknow wat? I have a sweet spot for the Sorcerer's Apprentice. It's kinda a guilty pleasure of mine hehe 😅

Whiicchh reminds me... the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON FRANCHISE HAS GOT MY HART WHIPPED 😭😭😭

Oh and i also rlly like when harry met sally hihi :') and i guess the OG Star Wars trilogy's got a special place in my heart even if it is da way dat it is now 😢 :')

oh and i can't forget meh guardians :') Guardians of The Galaxy is such a solid film, bro. I loved it :') ooohhh and yknow wat? I actually rlly like Ready Player One, Baby Driver, and The Mummy (the brendan frasier one, who ya kiddin 😑)

oh and yknow wat? The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, and Music & Lyrics has got a special place in my heart, man. Gotta admit it :')

aawww and amelie, and begin again, and flipped and hercules, and room, and spotlight, and shape of water, and ladybird, and the princess bride, and the iron giant, and the lobster, and we're the millers, and what if and man up and shrek and kimi no na wa and a quiet place and inception and the lion king and to all the boys I’ve loved before and oooh tim burton movies are pretty cool, the animated ones, and I did spend a good amount of time obsessed w/ dis one so I guess cap civil war, and then big hero 6 and wreck it ralph, and the martian and inside out, and gone girl, and the lion king and forrest gump and spider-man 1 and 2, and les miserables and the devil wears prada and the book of life and the intern and the princess diaries and miss congeniality and aladdin and confessions of a shopaholic

And ok, ok, i think im done. Hahaha das it das my list of meh all time fav movies and i feel like rewatching all of em now hahaha 😍

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