#i cant say i remember much about revelations

[embarasseddragon234]

Was anyone gonna tell me there's a new sequel to he-man revelations or was I just supposed to find that out by browsing the Orko tag myself?

[hanasnx]

so i imagine that toji and you have been on-again-off-again for a couple years now, like every time you break up, your dads all like 'yeah right, i give it a week.' but this time its for real, say its been like two months and to prove to your family that you're over him, you invite your new man to your dads bday party at your parents house.

you get there and are obviously pissed. of course your dad invited toji and didn't tell you, he didn't believe you were broken up. but what's worse is your new man ain't answering his phone, so you cant even lie to him and tell him the party is cancelled. so he shows up, and its awkward as hell, and he doesn't understand why until you finally introduced everyone except toji. i can see his cocky ass strolling up to the poor guy, smirking with his shady eyes, shaking his hand firmly and introducing himself as your ex boyfriend.

or would he just say hes a friend of your fathers? play along, and befriend the guy before you or maybe one of your nicer cousins pull the poor guy aside and fill him in? all the while, you're staring daggers at your father, while he's shrugging at you like he isn't at fault for this.

idk, i just love the potential for angst and tension here with this scenario. i fucking live for it bro. like your new man seeing a photo of you and toji on the wall, didn't you ask your dad to take that down last time you were here? or how toji's hand lingers on yours a little to long as he passes you your slice of birthday cake. or how friendly all of your family seems to be with him. he fits right in.

but the best part-later that night, after your new man's ego has been beaten down beyond repair, and him and most of your family has left, Toji lingers (because your father made it clear he's always welcome), and he ends up fucking you in the spare room that used to be your bedroom, or maybe in the back of his car parked out front, or in the kitchen while your parents are sleeping, all the while whispering and teasing you about how cute it was for you to think you could ever move on from him.

i could even see him texting your new man from your phone while he’s doing it, saying something cheeky or even breaking up with him for you. but you'd be too preoccupied to notice or care, obviously, reveling in how good it feels to be filled up by him again, because of course toji’s dick is bigger than what you’ve been getting. but not just his size, he knows all your sweet spots and remembers exactly how you like it, how could he forget? and by the time he’s done with you, he’s already convinced you to get back together.

his dick game is just that good you cannot convince me otherwise.

— source.

me rn bcos i got to feel like the reader and was biting the fuck outta my finger flirting with the screen

i absolutely love the on-and-off-again trope. your dad probably thought you two were gonna get married bcos of how attached-at-the-hip you were for a while. like angelina jolie and billy bob thornton. crazy in love, cant keep hands off each other, making long-term plans, toji probably asked for his fucking blessing at some point

and just like that, it ended. totally blindsided the whole family, constantly asking you about "wheres your man? huh? where's he at?" until you had to solemnly explain you weren't together anymore. all your little siblings and cousins, nieces and nephews, all are devastated because uncle toji isn't around anymore and they loved him so so much. that was the first time you and him broke up, and he was already so ingrained in the family that it shook through them all when suddenly he wasn't around anymore, everybody loved him. especially your dad who's tough and just, and never liked anybody, especially any of your boyfriends. he's expressed that toji was good enough to take care of his little girl, that he could trust you were in good hands when toji was around. you were safe, protected. (your new boyfriend cant compare in your father's eyes. he's a pansy compared to toji, which you always distressfully protest to because that's not a real criticism and your dad is just playing favorites.)

but then the family sees you two get back together, you and toji are back and better than ever. everybody's ecstatic to see him: your sisters and aunts dote on him, ask him to carry heavy things just to talk about how handsome he is when his muscles bulge like that; your uncles and brothers talk man-to-man with him, show him their cars and share their beers and ask him if he wants to watch the game. toji, quite the charmer, insists he's gonna spend time with his girl, and stays with you in the kitchen while you hang with your mom. oh, your mom loves toji. talks about what a spitting image he is of the husband shes always wanted you to have. she makes him lean down so far when she wants to give him a goodbye kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening, she lists out the stuff she wants done around the house and toji does them. even tho its supposed to be a party.

fast forward to your dad's bday, and nobody believes you that you and him are done "for good this time" because they've heard about almost every break-up and reunion. they're so convinced that you and him are meant to be, you're just being stubborn.

toji swaggering up to your poor new man to introduce himself so gruffly with his deep voice and callused hand shaking his, saying so shamelessly he's your ex boyfriend. that's crazy big dick energy. it implies so much, loaded asf, bcos you're sighing and hanging your head into your hand because toji just had to go and do something like that.

the photo!! the fucking photo on the wall!! your new bf sees it before you can hastily pull it down off its fucking nail bcos you totally did ask them to take that down! and its such a good picture too. you and toji tangled so close together. he's in leather jacket, cheek-to-cheek with you, arms around you while your leg is up around him. you look good together.

i think he'd play a bit of a hard-to-get thing with you, coyly asking you about your boyfriend, where'd you meet, etc. you know him too well to think he's being genuine, and he hits you that he thinks its "cute"

you have to leave because there's no way you're gonna talk about this shit with him, having an argument in the driveway between your cars because you cant keep your voice down when you're with him. you're berating him for showing his face here even if he was invited, and he's telling you its not his fault your father loves him so much. fighting like an old married couple when he tells you he wants you back and he doesn't give a fuck who that skeevy guy was that came earlier. he tells you that he knows you want a real man when you left him because of how pigheaded and brutish he is. pandering to your family so you'll never be rid of him is exactly the kind of manipulation you wanted to get away from, and he defends it as some sort of strategy of playing the long game for the finger he wants to put a ring on. and its like you've done this game before, you're tired. one thing you're not tired of, is how remarkably agreeable the two of you are while you're fucking. so you settle the argument with your bodies <3

[btsficsandsuch]

A First Kiss and a Lie

When asked, Yoongi lies about your first kiss which leads to an argument and a revelation as to why.

Kind of based on an episode of The Big Bang Theory.

“Y/N I love you and they will love you too.”, your boyfriend Yoongi said trying to calm your nerves. The two of you were standing outside the dorm heading to have dinner with the rest of the group. You were meeting them for the first time and you were pretty nervous. “I know I just really want them to like me.”, you said. He smiled and squeezed your hand before opening the door and leading you inside.

The boys instantly ran up and greeted you with hugs and asking a million questions. Jimin grabbed your hand and led you to the kitchen offering you a drink causing Yoongi to smile. He knew you’d fit right in. Dinner went smoothly and wasn’t as bad as you had thought. They continued to ask you questions trying to get to know you even though Hobi said they felt like pretty much knew you since Yoongi talked about you nonstop causing your boyfriend to groan and turn a light shade of red.

After dinner Yoongi invited you to stay and hang out. The two of you cuddled up on the couch while Jungkook and Jin played a video game and Namjoon was reading a book. Taehyung came and sat down next to the two of you with a smile on his face, “So Y/N how did you get this guy to turn into such a softy?”You chuckled at his question while Yoongi rolled his eyes. “I don’t know. I think he’s secretly always been a softy at heart.”, you said before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Taehyung laughed at how Yoongi pretended to be disgusted. Yoongi’s phone started ringing and he excused himself as it was an important call he had been waiting for. Taehyung slid over closer to you, “Soooo Y/N how are things with Yoongi? I heard he’s quite the romantic these days. Even planning your first kiss at that cabin he rented for you two on your birthday.” You thought back to that trip three weeks ago, it was really nice and sweet and you had a great time but it caught your attention that Taehyung had said your first kiss was there. Your first kiss was actually at a party a few months ago.

Before you could question him Yoongi returned and shooed Taehyung away so he could take his seat next to you back. “What are you two talking about?”, he asked. “I was asking Y/N about your romantic antics like renting that cabin for your first kiss.”, Taehyung said. “Yeah Yoongi. How come you told them that you were planning our first kiss at the cabin even though we had already kissed at that party?” He shook his head, “No Y/N our first kiss was at the cabin remember? While you were showering I built a fire and lit a bunch of candles and then when you came out I played that song I wrote for you and then at the end of it I leaned in and kissed you.” With anger starting to rise you shook your head, “No it was at that party in the back yard on that bench. How do you not remember our first kiss?”

Taehyung could sense the tension and excused himself feeling guilty for causing this argument. You were glaring at Yoongi. Suddenly not feeling like being social you turned to look at him, “Can we please go home? I’m not feeling well.” Yoongi didn’t say anything. He just nodded his head. The two of you apologized for ending the evening early and said your goodbyes before making your way to his car. The ride home was silent for the most part. As you thought about Yoongi not remembering your first kiss the sadness in you bubbled up to the service and a few tears slipped out. Yoongi looked over and saw you wiping at your eyes, “Please don’t cry Y/N.”

“How can you not remember our first kiss? I thought that moment was so special. It was the moment I started to fall in love with you. And you don’t even remember it.”, you said the tears coming in full force now. He sighed, “Y/N why do we have to argue about this? Why cant we just agree that our first kiss was that night at the cabin?” Thankfully he just pulled up into the parking lot of your shared apartment and you got out of the car slamming the door behind you and stormed inside not waiting for him.

Once inside he tried to grab your hand but you pushed him off of you, “I’m going to take a shower. Maybe you should sit here and decide how much else of our relationship you want to forget.”

You set the water as hot as you could handle hoping to wash away the anger. While in the shower you started to replay everything over and over in your head and you started to feel bad. You shouldn’t have gotten so upset with him. It’s not like he lied about having a first kiss or anything. And he did work really hard to make that kiss at the cabin memorable. After your shower was finished you felt better and more relaxed. You got dressed and made your way out of the bedroom to find Yoongi and apologize. Luckily you didn’t have to look too far. You found him sitting on the couch in the dark staring out of the window. You swear you heard him sniffle when you first walked in which broke your heart.

You made your way over to him slowly so you didn’t startle him and lowered yourself down on the couch. “I’m sorry I got so upset with you. I was just hurt that you didn’t remember our first kiss.”, you said while wrapping your arms around his waist. He put his arm around you and you both sat there in silence for while. “I do remember our first kiss. It was that night at the party. We were sitting on the bench next to the flower garden. You were wearing that pink dress. You looked so pretty. I had wanted to kiss you all night but I was so scared.”, he said with a smile thinking back to that night.

“If you remember all of that then why did you lie and tell everyone our fist kiss was that night at the cabin?”, you said turning to look at him. “I hated that our first kiss was that night at the party.”, he said biting his lip. You were about to argue again but he continued, “I had just gotten in that huge fight with my brother. I was angry and crying. I smelled like whiskey and was really drunk. I mean I almost missed your mouth because I couldn’t see straight.” You both chuckled at that memory.

Yoongi grabbed your hand and held it in his, “I wanted a redo on our first kiss. That’s why I planned that whole cabin trip and tried to make it special so that it could be memorable to us for all the right reasons. I wanted to have a nice story to tell people if they asked and not just say yeah it was a drunken kiss at a party neither of us wanted to be at. I always thought maybe you’d be embarrassed to tell people that was our first kiss as you deserve better than that.”, he said shyly looking over at you.

You thought for a few moments about what he had said your heart swelling with love for him. “Okay the cabin kiss will be our first kiss. It is a really nice story.”, you said before giving him a kiss. Yoongi flashed a big gummy smile before leaning his head on your shoulder, “Thank you Y/N. I really appreciate that.” “Yeah plus I’ll get to see you get all flustered every time I tell that story and people realize you’re not cold hearted but actually a big romantic goofball.”, you said laughing as Yoongi pushed you onto the couch tickling you as revenge.

[brazilian-whalien52]

10 BL Boys I Want Carnally

I was tagged by @kennyomegasweave ❤️

Honestly thou, what is attraction? What is wanting carnally? Almost no idea but a slight one

1. Porsche from Kinnporsche. Come on, it's impossible to not drool enough to fill a river to Apo

2. Zhao Yulan from guardian. Him and this smile made to fuck me over, plus the stupid lollipop. Shen, I know why you waited for centuries

3. Babe from pit babe. Okay, but this choice is not exactly babe but pavel? I had the biggest crush on 2moons and honestly that is my fav but I am too old for that pavel now! Although I loved those fucking tattoos

4. Kim from Kinnporsche. You know maybe here is my love for Jeff showing because damn he hits hard but also when I look for Kim pictures he is mostly adorable? I am just attract to his cynic baby girls rockstar vibe

5. Rain from love in the air. He is just so mesmerizing?

6. Xia Yao from advance bravely. But honestly both leads here are such a big cast... The rain scene was spectacular but I was so obsessed over baby girl Xia Yao that is not even funny. I had a picture I was obsessed that i cant find anymore

7. Gavreel from Gameboys. Just the way he says baby is my weak spot. My weakest spot is always a pretty smile (see apo above too and others). Nothing can destroy me as much as one and his smile is just...

8. Pat from Bad Buddy. Funny enough normally not me type but honestly pat is just so charming that he is impossible not to love. If he looks at me like that I feel weak on my knees (anyway why am i lying about type when he also has the prettiest smile)

9. My personal weatherman. Which one? Well you see i do not know how to explain this. Yoh is just so fluffy and just out of this world and I just want to trace Mizuki moles. Together they are just... Ah

10. Tharn from tharntype. I know controversial, he fucked up a lot but you don't have all the facts! Facts 👇

you guys cant believe how face blind i am and the revelation I had doing this. Fucking lord.

Anyway, I had to control myself to not add to many gifs? I want to add more by them become too much. It is all pavel fault!

Is there anybody that hasn't done this challenge yet? It seems like most people had done, if you weren't tag before please feel free to do it. I am tagging @theelast-straw @hyperfocusmadness @jackpoompkin @troubled-mind @telomeke @lookingforshangrila @chocomilkshakeblog @twig-tea because I do not seem to remember they doing it?

[paeries]

Sick of You II — h.s.

[when a boyfriend of two years breaks it off and offers a new arrangement, of course you’ll take it up. this is your prime chance to prove him wrong. and Harry can’t bear to watch it]

[part one is here, part three is here and i just wanted to say thank you thank you thank you for all the love you've shown. i really hope you enjoy it xxx]

wc; 10k

pairing; harry styles x reader

cw; friends to lovers au, angstt as always, (i cant tell how angsty it is because I was so busy on trying to get this out for you guys) also brief mention of unspecified drug use i forgot about that its so little

pov; y/n, but third person

Morning light came through the windows, only partly dimmed by the curtains. Harry winced as a ray of light began to wake him. He started to stretch, nearly jumping out of his skin when he heard a groan from beside him. His eyes fell upon her head of hair, tucked into his chest and he felt his chest burn. How could he have forgotten? She chose me. This time, it was me. He could feel a stupid grin spread across his lips, slowly slipping his body away from the couch to let her sleep a bit longer.

Somehow, he managed his big frame away without waking her, her hair slightly out of place and spread across the throw pillow. He was aware that he’s getting ahead of himself, but already there’s an unsteady bubble rising in his chest. He knows that if he lets himself revel in this too much, it’ll end up crushing him, most likely as a wave of reality of the fact that he wasn’t enough and he’s spent too many years trying to prove to himself that he was. That it was up to Y/N to decide. Yet, as he laid the blanket over top of her sleeping body, he couldn’t help but remember how it felt to watch her trail off behind Mark so easily.  He was so sure she’d go home with him, so much so that he even contemplated whether it was accidental or not. That she knew Mark was on the way, and used him to get under Mark’s skin. After all, she came after him. She asked for the kiss.  And what a great precursor to get back together that was. It was everything Harry had been trying to avoid. Any sane man that walked up on that kiss would’ve had enough sense knocked into them to know it was time to stop fucking around. If it was him? And he was in Mark’s shoes? He’d have gotten to his knees, and begged for forgiveness, that he didn’t realise how badly he loved her. Only, Mark doesn't love her. 

It was all he could think about after he left The Stumble last night while blinking back tears, the air threatening to freeze any that fell. He had no idea where he went after that, how long he stayed there, what he drank, or even how he got home. All he remembers is Y/N sitting on his couch with a glass of water for him. That memory, as insignificant as it appeared, was enough to warm his chest once more.

He went to his room to shower and change out of his clothes from the night before, thinking about bringing back a quick breakfast while she slept. One that was actually for her. He'd have to text her so she knew to wait for him if she woke up before he returned. He tried his best to keep quiet, planning his quick outing to try and be back before she woke, but when he kept hearing buzzing as he reached for his keys, he began to grow irritated. It was nearly nine am and her phone was lighting up every few seconds when he looked over. And Harry, of course, knew better. But he couldn't help himself and tiptoed over, catching only a contact name. Naturally, it was Mark with a constant stream of 20 texts and phone calls. Harry scowled, disgust spreading like rust in his mouth, and snatched the phone up to move it to the kitchen counter. He can’t place the feeling he gets, as the doubt creeps in,  but knows deep down in his gut that she only chose him this time. That this was just the tip of the iceberg, that he still had a long way to go, and that last night's performance was only proof of his time running out.

—

His thoughts swarmed hot around his head as he drove, and no matter how many times he reminded himself to find peace in the small victories, he couldn't get Mark's stupid looking face out of his head, or that stupid fucking phone buzzing again and again and again. And now, because the prick doesn't know when to quit, she'll wake up and won't see his text. Knowing she'll see those messages, whatever they say, and how they'll affect her entire day or mood for the rest of the day had his blood boiling.

When would he finally get her to himself so he wouldn't have to keep picking up the pieces Mark breaks as they fall?

Harry's knuckles tightened on the steering wheel, and he thought he'd have to pull over if he had to drive any longer; thankfully, the deli was only a traffic light away. He knew it shouldn’t piss him off so bad and that he shouldn't let it get to him the way it did.  But Mark wasn't going to go away. Not on his own at least, especially with the hold he knows he has on Y/N. It was manipulative, what kind of person torments someone they supposedly cared about at one point? And why couldn’t she realise he was tugging her along. It all made his heart hurt, his brain feeling like it’d explode with how frustrating the situation was. 

His phone rang just as he pulled into a parking spot, jolting him away from his thoughts as he scrambled to find it. Cade calling… “Cade?” He questioned, he didn’t know Cade even kept his number. He’s never called before. “Hey, Harry! Wasn’t sure if this was the right number.” He explained from the other side of the phone. “You got me, what’s up?” Harry asked, sighing as he relaxed in his seat because he had a funny feeling he knew where this conversation was going to end up. “Oh! Well,  M’just, er, checking in on you. Y’left the bar before saying goodbye, and all,” He started, and Harry could hear how uncomfortable Cade was from the sound of his voice. “And, y’know the girls were worried too.” Harry sighed a bit too loudly, “Everything’s fine.” He said, taking the time to grab his wallet to get ready to walk in for the order. “I know, but.. y’seemed really upset. And Y/N came out of the bathroom, shouted at us.. We just wanted to double check.” He explained again, earning a grumble from Harry. “Yeah, jus’ really don’t like Mark. Thought that was the case for all of us.” Harry really just wanted to stop talking about Mark, and whatever humiliating experience they saw. The thought sent a chill down his spine at the memory of rejection. “It is! We jus-” Cade started again and Harry had had enough already. “Look, there’s nothing to worry about, yeah? Let’s just forget it even happened. S’none of our business.” He said, getting annoyed that Cade kept prying. He’d be willing to bet Daphne was by him from his use of ‘we’, Jodie was far too up front to get Cade of all people to get answers. “Right, sorry. Well, s’Daph’s birthday comin’ up. We wanted to get together one last time before we have to plan nights out in advance.” Cade said, looking for a way to round out the already uncomfortable conversation. “Yeah, er, let’s get a text goin’ cos I’ve got to run in and get some breakfast, okay?” Harry said, opening his car door to get out. “Works f’me, see y’Harry.” And with that he hung up. Harry sighed again for what felt like the umpteenth time, straightening up before finally walking in to order their breakfast.

Just as Harry walked through his front door, Y/N had just come out of his room having been searching for something other than last night’s dress to wear at ten in the morning.

“Morning.” He muttered, trying not to let his bitterness from the car ride venture into whatever conversation he’ll find himself in with her. As he set the brown bags on the kitchen counter and hung up the keys, he noticed she had folded up the blanket he had laid on her.  A perfect houseguest indeed.

“Breakfast?” He asked, taking a look in her direction and managed to crack a smile. “Made y’self right at home, didn’t you?” He chuckled, pulling the parchment wrapped sandwiches out of the bags. Y/N blushed and made her way to the opposite side of the counter. “M’sorry, figured it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” She began to explain and Harry quickly shook his head, “No, no! Don’t apologise, I changed as soon as I woke up too.” He explained, passing her sandwich towards her plate. “What’s this?” She asked, grinning at him. “S’breakfast, what’s it look like?” He laughed, setting the coffees down. “I meant,” She paused, opening the parchment to reveal a sausage egg and cheese with a bright red tomato peering out the sides, “What is it.” She repeated with a giggle, picking up her coffee for a sip. “S’gorgeous, Harry, thank you.”

          “Uh, Cade called me.” He murmured and her head snapped up, “About last night?” She asked, slumping back into her seat. “Harry, m’really so, so, sorry. I wasn’t thinki-” “Y/N, please. It’s fine, really. Wasn’t your fault, besides Cade only called to ask if you were alright.” Harry lied, and it was a bad lie. She didn’t seem to notice but it had him sweating. “I was kind of rude to them when I left.” She sighed, shaking her head as she remembered how shameful she felt knowing they had seen everything.

They probably saw me as weak, that I couldn’t stand up for myself. Or, at least not when it came to Mark. They’d seen countless times that I had to tell someone off for acting a fool over a pool game, or someone getting too close to one of the girls. It wasn’t strange for them to see me shouting over music to make sure the other party knew I wasn’t taking anyone's crap. 

She was positive they hadn’t seen that Y/N since Mark’s been in her life. But she always thought Mark was endgame. That he was supposed to stumble into her friend group, and he was supposed to spill a whole tray of shots in her lap, and he was supposed to tell her he loved her too early. 

It made her head spin when she thought about how perfectly everything panned out in the beginning of the relationship compared to where they are now. 

“Marks been texting all morning,” She began, desperate to change the subject, “says he wanted to make sure I made it home alright.” When she first read the message, her chest ached. She had finally managed to crack into his ego. 

She scowled, thinking about how long it's been since he left her, and why it had to have been now, when she was finally getting more comfortable to pull through and act like she was worth a damn. “Think he wants to meet up, properly ‘apologise’. That’s what he says anyway.” She explained, taking another bite from her sandwich. 

Harry’s grip tightened on his cup, and he had to set it down in order to stop himself from bursting hot coffee all over the counter. “Y’gonna go?” He reluctantly asked, deathly afraid to hear the answer he knew she’d give. 

“I mean,” she sighed and sat back in her chair, “it’s the least he can do, and I’ve never heard an apology leave his lips before. Might be one of the extraordinary once-in-a-lifetime things, y’know?” She laughed, and shrugged, placing a stray tomato back into the sandwich before she took another bite. “Why? Think it's a bad idea?” She asked, tilting her head to the side as she looked at him, trying to gauge his unspoken reactions. 

“Well,” He coughed, taking a swig from his coffee before continuing, “S’not the complete worst idea in the history of ideas. Y’are right, that’s the least he can do.” Harry swallowed bitterly around the words, fighting off the urge to begin gnawing at his lips. “I just- m’not sure he’s doing it to be genuine, s’all.” He admitted, trying his best to avoid her stare. 

She stayed quiet, mulling over his answer in her head. “What would he be doing it for? I’ve never heard him apologise for any argument we ever had, I had to fold every time.” Harry snorts at that, and he wanted to make a comment about how some things never change but decided against it. She has to realise that for herself. “Y’could put a stop to it.” He suggested, shrugging but still proud for finding a different way to hint it at her. “How d’ya suggest I do that?” She giggled out and Harry shrugged again, swallowing back the frustration that she was oblivious to what he was trying to get at. 

“What if I promise to send an SOS if I need it?” She countered, smiling still at him as she wrapped up the rest of the sandwich to pull her phone out and request a driver to pick her up. Harry chuckled dryly, nodding around a gigantic bite he may or may not have taken on purpose to avoid telling her how he really felt about the whole situation. “Yeah,” He muttered after he swallowed, wrapping his up as well now that he lost his appetite. “Y’headed out?” He asked, pursing his lips as she collected her things. “Yeah, got to do some groceries today, errand stuff. Maybe shop a bit. You want to join?” She asked, in case he had to pick anything up for himself as well. Harry shook his head, leaning back, “Nah, ‘ve got a full day of relaxation ahead of me.  You have fun though.” He smiled, and leaned up to kiss her cheek before she grabbed her shoes to head out. He quickly turned in his chair to try and catch her before she walked out the front door. “Wait!” Y/N stopped in her tracks, turning to face him once more, “What?” Harry smiled, “Cade’s planning Daphne’s birthday here tonight. Now, I know y’got to help Jodie but if you guys are up for it, maybe she could practise here? Two birds, one stone, yeah?” He offered and she nodded in agreement, “Sounds great, I’ll ask Jodie. Bye, Harry.”

Finally sitting at the table, she looked through the late lunch options, not quite feeling up to dinner yet. Mark was running late, he said, so she’d just have to order something for him. Deciding she didn't want to know how she had found the time to drop all of her bags at the house and change quickly before coming here when he still hadn't arrived, she sighed, leaning back in her chair to pull out her phone. 

To: Jodie

he’s late again

lookin like a loser so far lol

Again, the waitress came over to ask if she was ready to at least take a drink order. Y/N gave a smile, sitting up again. “I was just going to order a glass of water, but now I’m thinkin’ I ought to pair it with a vodka cranberry on the rocks.” She joked and the waitress, whose name tag read ‘Aubree’ smiled and nodded before dipping off to make the drink. 

From: Jodie

I could possibly make a million off placing bets on whether Mark shows up or not

sorry, that was mean

order something expensive and leave him with the bill

She laughed at her phone, shaking her head fondly at her best friend’s humor. Jodie wasn’t wrong, she should know better by now. Mark had never, in the time they had dated, shown up on time. Only when they broke up did he start standing her up completely. 

The waitress made it back with her drink and she apologised again, “Just a few more minutes, m’so sorry.”, to which ‘Aubree’  nodded and headed off to the next table. And right as Y/N began another text to Jodie, she saw his familiar light brown head of hair at the right height ducking through the front door.

To: Jodie

hope you didn’t bet your life earnings away, he's here

ttyl love you xx

Y/N tucked her phone back into her bag and found Mark, talking to the hostess, well, flirting with the hostess as he asked if she knew where to find ‘his date’. She watched as the girl smiled, playing with her hair as pointed in her direction, a full dining room over. He nodded and made his way over, arms outstretched as if to offer a welcoming hug. She rolled her lips together, and stood halfway to accept a hug with one arm. 

“Y’didn’t order anything?” He asked, taking his seat opposite her and opened his menu. “Nope, just a drink. Thought I may as well catch a buzz while I wait.” She said, crossing one leg over the other with a hard glare delivered in his direction. He peered above the menu and chuckled, “C’mon, no need for a strop. Can’t help traffic, love.” He hummed, nudging his ankle against hers. “Right.” She hummed, leaning forwards for her drink to take a long drink. 

“Think m’goin in the late lunch direction.” She muttered, picking the menu up to take a look. “Turkey Club Wrap or something like that.” Mark nodded, looking through his options. “In that case, I’ll go for the arugula and sausage personal pizza.” And put his menu down. “They do draft here right?” He asked, flashing his once charming smile her way. “Yes, y’know they do, we’ve been here before.” She sighed, leaning forward towards him. “I thought you had something to tell me.” She mused, making sure to keep eye contact with him as she set her menu to the side for the waitress to collect. “Waited an awful long time to hear you rattle off about draft beer.” She quipped, straightening up in her seat, fully laying the ball in his court. Being uncomfortable wasn’t Mark’s strongpoint. Any time he found himself in a compromising situation, he used his sex appeal and charm as a deflection shield. It used to have a colossal effect on her, nowadays it’s once in a while that she gave in. Well, Jodie could disagree. 

He shifted in his spot, opening his mouth before straightening up when he locked eyes with our waitress that was headed their direction, managing to avoid the topic a bit longer when she came to finally take the orders.

By the time they had finished most of their food, she was growing irritated. He still hadn’t come close to talking about last night. And at this point, she was four glasses down, her limbs feeling heavier by the second. It’s not like she was having a shitty time, Mark had always been a great conversationalist. Her foggy brain just so happened to remember the original reason she was even here in the first place. And they hadn’t even scratched the surface, yet the ‘date’ was coming to an end. 

Just as she began to bring it up, Mark clasped his hands together when he saw the waitress coming by with the check. “Thank you very much, everything was fantastic.” He praised, pulling his wallet out immediately to hand some bills to her. She smiled, grabbing the plates, “Oh, good! I’ll be right back with your copy.” And off she went again. 

“Mark.” Y/N hummed, her words slurring a bit. “Y’got me drunk and y’didn't even apologise yet.” She grumbled, clearing off her side of the table for the bus boy. Mark smirked, leaning back in his seat. “Yeah, well, I thought that conversation could use a more private setting.” He drawled, grabbing his keys. “Maybe at mine?” He suggested, tilting his head to the side slightly as he watched her consider his offer. “Well, I,” She trailed off, weighing the options. Late lunch at two p.m. turned into dinner nearing seven p.m., and she was still supposed to meet with Jodie later to help her practise her speech for work the next week. “I’d have to tell Jod I’d be a bit late.” She admitted, and Mark grinned, “Perfect!” and set the tip down on the table. “She can keep the extra change too, let’s go.”

They stepped into his apartment and it looked the very same. The same fake plants, the same picture frames of stock black and white photos, some mixed with his family. Nothing had changed, apart from the few things she took when she left. Without the few things he allowed to be put in the living space, it was structured, boxy, stoic, there was no charm. Certainly not the kind of charm Mark exuded on the daily.  

She always felt his place felt so ingenuine to him. Nothing matched him here at all. 

“You know where everything is.” He said, opening his closet to set his jacket in and tossed his wallet and keys on the coffee table. Y/N watched as he headed into his kitchen to the liquor cabinet. “Top off?” He asked, grabbing a bottle of vodka and a rocks glass. “Mark, really, that’s okay,” She tried but he shook his head, “Won’t be hearing any of that. One won’t kill ya, will it.” And with that, he passed her the glass and poured it in, pouring himself a glass as well. She sighed, taking the glass and raised it to her lips to take a big swig, knowing she’ll need it. 

Mark extended a hand towards the living room and she grabbed the glass, going to take a seat on the couch.  “So,” He started, clearing his throat and sat beside her. “Know y’here to talk about last night. And, let me just say I understand that you’re upset,” He began, and she scoffed, interrupting him, “Bit more than upset, Mark.” She clarified, snatching her glass up for another gulp before getting up to get the rest of the bottle. She heard him sigh and wait till she sat back down to continue. “Angry.” He corrected, “A-And you have every right. I shouldn’t have gone to The Stumble. I was drunk and obviously not thinking clearly.” He wrung his fingers in his palms, a nervous tic she picked up on a long time ago. She knew he hated being in the wrong, much like Harry. Seeing how anxious he seemed softened some of the anger she had built up from the “late lunch”, my ass, earlier.

She sighed, listening to him ramble on and on, practically repeating himself the longer he went on. She finally finished her glass and set it down, this time pouring him a glass.  “Mark, it’s alright. Well, actually- It isn’t, don’t do it again,” She started, but in the uncomfortability of the situation a giggle managed its way out. The feeling of heat rising at her cheeks and the tips of her ears. “But, really, you only embarrassed me- in front, o-of everyone-“ She paused, bursting into a fit of laughter, “M’sorry, its really not that f-funny.” She laughed out, a hiccup following suit, causing Mark to laugh as well. “And Daphne!” She laughed out, “Poor Daph saw th’whole thing! She reeaalllyy likes Harry.” And Mark settled a bit after that, his laughter dieing down.

“Y’like Harry?” He asked, and Y/N calmed down as well, “What’d’ya mean? I said Daphne,” She hummed, grabbing her glass to take another sip, not really wanting to go down this road. 

“C’mon, Y/N, don’t make me repeat it.” He sighed, leaning back. She pursed her lips, running a hand through her hair as she thought about her answer. “He’s… Harry- He’s really sweet. A-And,” She paused, trying to find the right words to describe Harry, who, like Jodie, quickly became a significant part of her life. “He makes me laugh, like you wouldn’t believe.” She giggled out at the memory, a stupid smile remaining. 

Mark cleared his throat, rolling his shoulders back, “You looked really pretty last night, by the way.” He said, wringing his thumb again. She hummed and nodded, “Thank you. Was in my closet for some time.” He nodded as well, setting a hand at her knee, “Really, Y/N. Beautiful.” He murmured, sliding a hand to cup her cheek, shifting closer before leaning in to kiss her. Her eyes went wide as she felt his lips press against hers, and she pulled away hesitantly, taking the time to process the kiss. Mark had so very rarely gave out compliments and her drunk mind and body let the walls down, pulling him back into another kiss. 

She moaned softly, leaning back against the couch as he pressed closer and closer, his hand sliding in between her legs. Her hips rolled up at his touch and when he bit down at her lip, she squeaked, muttering an “Ow.” He pulled away, and began kissing down her neck, his fingers landing a little too far to the right to be her clit. “M’sorry, baby. Y’know how excited I get.” He mumbled against her skin, biting down at her neck. “Mark, seriously, quit bitin’” She huffed, relaxing back again when he laid a single kiss over it. “C’mon, s’go to the bedroom.” He mumbled, pulling her to a stand and led her to the back room.

She woke the next day in Mark's bed, bringing her hand up to her head, she groaned. Small bits of a headache creeping up on her. Mark grumbled, flipping over onto his stomach, “Morning, could y’not be so loud.” He mumbled against the pillows. “Mark, it's the afternoon.” Y/N huffed, swatting at his back. “Where's my phone?” She rasped out, pulling her ruffled shirt that was laid at the end of the bed to her chest as she stood. And exactly what time is it? I need to apologise to Jodie, and Harry, “Oh God, Harry-“ She breathed, scrambling to find the rest of her clothes and phone. Mark scoffed, lifting his head up, “S’not what you were saying last night.” Y/N sneered at him, “Shut up, that was the first time in a long time that you’ve made me cum, so, someone finally taught you something. Don’t get cocky.” She snapped, trying to get dressed as fast as possible. 

“Forgot how mean y’are after drinking.” 

She groaned, finding her phone finally in the living room. “I’m not mean, you’re just irritating.”

Texts, calls, voicemails, dms, you name it. From Harry the most, then Jodie, Cade called a few times and Daphne tried once. That would be one call, and the single dm. Y/N groaned, not even bothering to say goodbye as she hurried out to her car. She tried Harry first, no answer. Voicemail.

She tried Jodie next, who of course answered right away, “Oh my God!” She shrieked, and Y/N had to hold the phone away from her ear. “Are you crazy?! I thought you were dead!” She shouted, continuing on about how she was debating calling the cops on Mark in case he did anything in retaliation. “Jesus, Jod, I’m sorry. I ended up getting drunk, and er- He apologised.” Y/N admitted, clearing her throat and she began shouting again. “We all figured it out, Y/N! Either you two were fucking, or he murdered you.” She said, exasperatingly. “I’m really disappointed in you, so get over here so I can give you a piece of my mind and be thankful you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere.”

  “Wait! Wait! I’m not showered!” She explained, hoping to at least manage a shower before she went to her house. “You should’ve thought about that before you fucked Mark again.” And with that she hung up. Y/N sighed, changing her course of direction for Jodie’s apartment.

When she walked in, Jodie was standing in front of the door with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping her foot. “You, missy, are in for a mouthful.” And pointed to sit on the couch. “Lot of couch sitting this week.” Y/N grumbled, walking over anyway to hear what she had to say. “Jodie, I really didn’t mean for tha” She tried but Jodie threw her hands up to stop her, “I don’t want to hear it! You stood me up, y’lucky this wasn’t a last minute preparation like usual. Cade, Harry and Daphne got drunk and forgot they were planning her party, which isn’t that big of a deal…” She rambled, pacing in front of her as she went on. “And Daphne’s already pretty upset with you after that whole fiasco from the other night, I mean, honestly, Y/N. What are you doing?!” She exclaimed, looking to her friend for an answer. Y/N bit her lip, feeling it begin to quiver and her eyes well up, “I’m sorry! I wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking clearly, he..” She sighed, wiping at her eyes as Jodie sat down next to her, immediately calming down as she saw the tears falling. “I waited a long time for him to compliment me and mean it. It t-took me by surprise, and I was drunk, and he asked me about Harry, and I-I didn’t know what to say.” She whimpered, shaking her head as Jodie tugged at her arm to get her to lean against her. From the corner of Y/N’s eye, she could see Daphne rounding the corner to head into the kitchen, she was holding her head too. “Tylenol’s in the bathroom, Daph.” Jodie called from over her shoulder to which Daphne grumbled and filled a glass of water before retreating back down the hallway to the bathroom.

“You’ve got to stop answering him, Y/N. He’s using you, and you let him do it every time. I know you know he doesn’t care about you.” Jodie sighed, rubbing Y/N’s arm as she whimpered. “If I have to watch your phone when we’re together, or put you on a damn tracking app, I’ll do it. You’ve got no sense of self control when it comes to Mark.” Y/N swallowed thickly, playing with her fingers. “I just wanted to know why I’m only good enough for one night, I thought he‘d tell me what was so terrible about being with me.” She cried out, leaning forward to bury her hands in her knees when Daphne came back out. “Y’know that’s not true. Mark was never going to be the guy, sweetheart. And you keep trying to fit him into you and he just doesn’t fit. I can’t watch it anymore, Harry can’t watch it anymore-” Jodie started, eyes darting to Daphne, trying to warn her to back off when she saw her began to open her mouth. “No, fuck that, Jodie!” She huffed, turning to face Y/N.

“You know he loves you, right? And that you’re hurting him?” Daphne glared at her, and she furrowed her brows with a sniffle. “Daph..” She started, shaking her head. “Y’don’t understand,” And again she cut her off, “No! You don’t understand!” She shouted, “You’ve got the whole group in some stupid love circle. I really liked Harry, Harry really liked you, you really liked Mark. And for some reason you decided to put everybody through the same misery you feel watching  someone you care so strongly for get hurt or want for someone else!” Daphne spat, and Y/N could feel her face contort at what she was saying. Anger riling up deep from her gut. “Daph, I’m sorry you saw us outside. It wasn’t supposed to happen, a-and I feel terrible but, you have no right to assume any of what you just said.” A scoff leaves Daphne's lips, sending Jodie into mediation for the argument. “Hold on a mo’ girls,” She started but Y/N held a finger up, “How is it my fault that you'd rather want everyone to be alone!” She snarled, and when Daphne stood up, Y/N did as well. “Alright! That’s enough!” Jodie shouted, standing on top of her coffee table. “Both of you, sit down. We’re settling this.” She asked, glancing between the two of them, ready if the other pounced. 

Daphne scoffed, backing up and shook her head. “F’get it.” She muttered, “I didn’t care Harry wanted you, I care that you’re blowing it away. Y’know,” She started as she gathered her things up to leave. “When we found out where you were? Harry excused himself, said he was afraid he’d drank too much and might puke. I heard him crying, last night, in his room.” Daphne sauntered around, no doubt for effect as she spoke, double checking for her belongings before opening the front door, “I’d never heard cries like that before. So, yeah, I could want everyone to be alone like me. But I for sure don’t want to ever, cause heartbreak like that.” And she slammed the door behind her.

Y/N looked at Jodie in disbelief and she sighed, shrugging. “I was getting there, I didn’t wanna drop it on you like that.” Y/N swallowed thickly, looking at her phone as she thought about all the times he called her last night, possibly worried out of his mind. “Jod, w-what do I say to him?” She whimpered, bringing her hands up to her face. “I don’t know, lovie. I didn’t know until Daphne pulled me aside last night. She asked me to leave with her and let her sleep over here so she wouldn’t think about the sound. I-I just… you really fucked up this time. I’d start with calling him? See where he stands and ask to meet up, because you owe him an apology. Stood us both up last night, s’what he kept saying.” Jodie said, “I’ll talk to Daphne, she’s just upset.” 

Y/N nodded, biting into her lip. “Mind if I grab a shower?” She asked timidly, taking one glance at her irritated face. “I shouldn’t.” She hummed, cracking a smile and nudged her friend’s head forward jokingly, “But even I wouldn’t make you beg for forgiveness drenched in another mans stink.” She laughed, grabbing a towel for her and tossed it over. “Go on.”

--

Y/N stepped out of the shower and headed down the hall to her living room, sniffling still and Jodie immediately snapped her head up at her in concern. Y/N groaned, wrapping her hair in the towel, “Yes, I was crying. Yes, I’m okay now.” She grumbled, going to take her seat on the couch again. Jodie snickered, coming to join her with two cups of tea. “Y’make my job so much easier sometimes.” She teased, handing her the cup. “Sometimes.” She repeated before adding, “So? Did he apologise?” She asked, raising her eyebrows at her. Y/N laughed at the idea after taking a sip of the tea, shaking her head at her blonde friend. “I don’t really think so? He never said the words, just listed how he knew I felt. But, it was so uncomfortable to listen to, so I think I cut him off.” She admitted, shaking her head at the memory. “And then he fucked you?” Y/N’s jaw dropped at her assumption, “No! He asked about Harry, and… he said I looked beautiful the other night. And,” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes before continuing, “then, he fucked me.” She grumbled, lifting her cup again for another sip.

Jodie groaned, setting her cup down and turned her body to face Y/N. “Alright, enough is enough. We’re figuring this out.” I giggled, turning to face her as well. “What are we figuring out?” Jodie grinned at her, pulling out a game board from underneath her coffee table, finding a dry erase and marker from a charade game. “Pros and cons for both men.” She smiled, holding up the two. “You list them out, I’ll write em down.” Y/N groaned, burying her face into her hands again. “I don’t know, Jod, that feels wrong.” She admitted and Jodie scoffed, shaking her head. “Nonsense, we’re doing it. Go on, start.”

Y/N sighed, looking up to the ceiling as she tried to recall all their traits, figuring out where they’d stand in a column. “Con, Mark works a demanding yet incredibly boring job.” She said definitively, and Jodie smiles again, quickly scribbling it down. “See? Not so hard, is it?” Rolling her eyes, Y/N continued, “Pro, Harry’s extremely funny.” she giggled, listening to Jodie repeat extremely funny as she wrote it down. “Er,” Y/N paused, scratching the back of her head, “Pro, Mark travels, so there's like.. Dunno, that worldly experience?” She tried, earning a unconvinced look from Jodie but began writing it down anyway. “Harry’s been to other places in the world too.” She countered, shrugging condescendingly at Y/N. “Well, speaking another language doesn’t necessarily mean… whatever ‘worldly experience’ warrants.” Y/N argued, folding her arms across her chest. “Pro, Harry’s dependable.” She nodded, looking at Jodie in case she wanted to debunk that one too. “That's a fact.” She replied, giggling before raising the marker up. “I’ve got one!” Y/N furrowed her brows at her friend, more laughs spilling past her lips. “It isn’t your list, you can’t have one!” She shouted, shaking her head. “Yes I can, watch, Con, Marks boring.” Jodie grinned, scribbling away on the list. Y/N grumbled, crossing her arms over one another again. “Well, explain this to me. Because this is the one thing I can’t figure out.” She huffed, fixing her spot on the couch again. “Every time Mark gets near me, or even,” Y/N sighed, tugging a hand through her drying hair. “Hell, even over the phone, I feel like I can’t breathe, Jodie.” She started out, trying to be careful not to start crying again. “Like he sucks up all the air in the room, and my ears ring. I’m suddenly aware of everything I’m doing. How stupid or silly it looks, and if hes looking at me. My chest gets tight, I-I just. Explain that to me, because I’ve been having a hard time with it myself.” 

Jodie looked at her with wide eyes, quiet for a moment. “I had no idea it was like that, why didn’t you ever say anything?” She asked, before shaking her head, “S’a conversation for a different day.” Taking a deep breath, she leaned back and set the dry erase board down. “How do you feel around Harry?” She asked carefully, almost rearing back into her seat from the fear of her friends answer. Y/N tossed her head back, resting it against the back of the sofa, going quiet as well. Throwing her arms up suddenly, she groaned exasperatedly. “It’s the complete opposite! Everything slows down, and I don’t feel so rushed. Y’know how, during the holidays, you’re rushing around, trying to get everything packed, racing to get there on time? And then you get there, and you can finally relax. A-And you’re surrounded by your family, some family friends.” She said softly, pursing her lips. “It’s not as, s’gonna sound corny, but, it doesn’t- s’not as mind consuming, not as numbing.” She frowned, looking at her lap as she played with the rings on her fingers. “I wish it was different, Jodie. You’ve no idea how many times I wished it was different.” Jodie sighed, shaking her head as she scooted closer to her confused friend. “M’dear Y/N,” She hummed, scooting closer and wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “You’ve got love and dread, terribly confused, lovie.” She giggled out, and Y/Nlooked at her as if she had three heads. “I’m serious!” Jodie laughed out breathlessly, and Y/N shrugged her friends arm off her shoulders. “What are you talking about?” Y/N mumbled, shaking her head at the blonde as she started to grow a bit irritated. Was she not listening? 

Jodie glared at her playfully, throwing her hands up in defence. “Woah, woah! Take it easy! Listen to me.” She giggled, going on to explain that the feeling her friend gets when he’s around was her body’s way of saying to stay away from him. “You’ve never felt at ease with Mark. Always worried about what he thought of you. You go into panic mode, s’literally what you just described to me.” She hummed, proud to have cracked the code so easily. “Love isn’t supposed to make you hold your breath until you pass out, love is supposed to relax you. Put you at ease, make y’feel safe? S’this ringing any bells?” She trailed off, spinning her fingers around one another to mimic gears shifting. 

“You’re saying, I love Harry?” Y/N blinked, tilting her head to one side in thought. “And Mark…?” She mumbled, trying to put the pieces together. Jodie groaned, shaking her head vigorously, “Fuck Mark!” She shouted exasperatedly, tone dripping with frustration. “But-” Y/N started again and Jodie shook her head, closing her eyes. “Noo, no, buts. You’ve been blind this whole time and I’ve given you sight. Tha’s why we need these little chats.” She giggled, elbowing Y/N in the ribs. “S’why you’re the brains of this operation.” Y/N grumbled, shaking her head in disbelief. “And you’ve got both boys at your feet. Well, Harry more than Mark.” Jodie added, leaning back with another sip of her tea. “I tell you, women kill to be in your shoes.” She giggled, and Y/N huffed, pulling a throw pillow over her face before speaking into it, “What’s so great about little old me?” 

Jodie laughed, grabbing the pillow and smacking it across her friends head. “Go ask Harry, idiot!” Suddenly, Y/N gasped, sitting up immediately, “Oh my God, I still haven’t even called him back!” She shouted, jumping up to grab her things, giving a kiss to Jodie's head as she scrambled out a goodbye.

Last Night: 

Harry had pulled out all the stops, he was positive he created the perfect environment, for Jodie to rehearse, Daphne and Cade to plan out the party, and for Y/N to decompress from a shitty meeting with Mark. He had four pizzas delivered, went out to get three bottles of wine, Cade was supposed to bring the liquor. He had music playlists created and perfected to whatever mood they ended up in later in the evening. He was proud, his house was clean and looked comfortable, if he did say so himself. 

When Cade and Daphne came, he was beaming, ready for a great night. All of his friends together in their own separate worlds under one roof. It made him giddy, excited to watch the friendships of the room blossom in the way they do every night. He loved making memories with them, each person brought so much to the table that no matter what they had planned for the night, it was always a great time. Harry always thought about how lucky he was to have stumbled into a group like this one.

Cade poured out shots while Harry got the music going, “Alright, so, we starting the night before? Like, go into midnight? And then carry on the next night?” Daphne suggested, wriggling her eyebrows to hint to them. “Y’really think we can control ourselves to not get a hangover the next morning?” Cade asked, passing the shot glasses around. “We could,” She said, pointing between her and Harry, “You however, may need some babysitting.” She giggled out, infecting the other two boys with laughter as well. “Bottoms up! Let’s get brainstorming.” She grinned, and all three tipped their glasses up. The three exchanged ideas and places to go for at least a good hour before Harry fell into his chair, tugging at his hair. “Let’s take a break. Need a slice, y’want Daph? Cade? Pizza?” He asked on his way to the kitchen, grinning as Cade gave a thumbs up and Daphne replied with a simple, Please! 

Harry brought the boxes in, setting them on the dining table, plating them up before handing the plates to the other two. “So,” Cade started before wolfing into his slice. “Who here can explain this whole Mark thing to me?” He asked, looking warily to the others. Daphne groaned, shaking her head, “Cade, y’not missing much. I told you.” She laughed, trying to change the subject for Harry’s sake once she saw the grimace spread across his lips. “What do you want to know?” Harry replied, surprising even himself. The liquor beginning to do his talking for him. Cade glanced in Daphne’s direction, taking a sip from his mixed drink as she shrugged, “Go on, then.” She sighed, picking up her pizza and preparing to sit this one out.

Clearing his throat, Cade leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Well, what’s the big deal? Know m’late to the ordeal, and I thought I understood, but there’s gotta be something I’m missing. What’s so great about him?” He asked, and Harry snorted, nodding at the validity of his question. “S’a beautiful question, Cade. I haven’t figured that out yet. But, they dated just over two years, and Jodie had warned us that she thought he was going to dump her, but,” He sighed, shaking his head and Daphne chimed in, “Y/N always made it seem like they were around the corner of engagement. So, we thought nothin’ of it. Next thing we know, she’s locking herself in her home, crying at bars, ignoring calls..” She sighed, and Harry did his best not to feel sad about the memory. “Jodie even thought she was taking drugs from Mark’s friend. It got really bad, and then,” She trailed off, glancing to Harry who decided to pick up where she left off. “And then Mark asked if they could continue sleeping together, without the relationship.” He admitted, downing the rest of his drink. “It got a little better, at least.” Cade went wide-eyed, looking between Daph and Harry. “Wow, so, that’s why he’s still relevant?” The question had Harry scoffing, “Hardly say relevant. More like, hard to get rid of.” He grumbled, and Daphne chimed in, “Y/N’s having a hard time kicking him to the curb.” She sighed, and Cade furrowed his brows, “Can’t understand how, I always thought he was really boring. He never stayed long when we all went out together. I mean, he’s not really, er, her type?” Cade was confused, he understood a little bit better, but confused all the same. He wanted to ask where Harry came in all of this, and how did that get to her and Harry making out outside the bar, but perhaps that’s a question for Jodie. “S’because he’s not. He’s her mother’s. She introduced them at a dinner party for her fathers job. He’s got familial money.” Harry sighed, getting up to get another drink. “Let’s get back to the brain tank, got a birthday party to plan, haven’t we?” Harry said from the other room, hoping the questions about Mark and Y/N were over.

Jodie came about three hours in, looking frazzled as she searched the apartment before even saying hello. “I thought she’d be here at least!” She huffed, earning puzzled looks from the other friends when they lifted their heads from the ideas they were jotting down.  “Hi, guys.” She sighed, dumping her binder and papers on the couch. “She’s not with you?” Harry asked, looking to the door in case she came trailing behind her. “No,” Jodie admitted, pinching her brows together from the fear of where she would actually be. “She’s not.” She sighed, standing to get some pizza. “S’the wine off limits?” She asked, eyeing Harry who shook his head. “No, by all means!” He answered, licking over his lips as his thoughts raced. “D’you know where she is?” He asked again, and Jodie frowned, pouring herself a glass before pulling her phone out to read off the text she got. “She said, Mark invited her to his place to apologise in a more ‘private setting.’”

Harry felt his stomach lurch, checking his phone for the time but really, he wanted to see if she had sent a text. Anything. He refreshed the page, checking to see if maybe she was teasing Mark in the messages and Harry was supposed to join along. Private setting? She would’ve texted, she would’ve said something. “And y’haven’t heard anythin’ from her?” He asked one more time, hoping perhaps he was missing something.. Jodie sighed and shook her head, “No, I haven’t.” 

Conversation picked up again but Harry couldn’t pay much attention, too deeply surrounded by his own thoughts. Private setting? She wouldn’t have switched plans for him, right? Somehow, he knew the answer. And his heart ached because he knew he was right earlier, that she only chose him that one time. And that he’d forever come second place in comparison to Mark. His ears started ringing, and he felt the blood drain from his face, his mouth watering and his stomach flipping. “Think,” He gasped, holding his stomach, “Think m’gonna be sick.” He managed out, taking off down the hall into his room. Bursting through his bathroom door, he made it just in time to the toilet, emptying the contents of whatever was in his stomach. 

His forehead leaned against the rim of the toilet while taking staggering breaths, he could still hear the group in the living room continue with their night. Thank God. He thought, since he couldn’t imagine what they’d think. He pushed himself back to lean against the wall. The longer he thought about it, the more sick he felt. The more his heart throbbed against his ribcage, rattling his breathing. 

He pushed himself to a stand, wiped his mouth and shuffled back into the room, climbing into bed and curled up, tears threatening to spill. His breaths got more and more shallow, gasping almost before he finally buried his face into the pillow, letting out an anguished cry. He’d never felt like this before, like he’d disappear into the mattress if it was possible. The very thought of Y/N in Mark's bed again had his head pounding, screaming almost at his own stupidity. You knew this would be the case. You can’t be that upset.  His conscience mocked, and he groaned, pulling a pillow into his chest to squeeze. “Please,” He whispered after he calmed down, furiously wiping at his eyes, “Leave me alone.” He whimpered, lip quivering as he felt the tears rising back up through his ducts again, falling fast into the material of the pillowcase.

Hours passed, the music died down and Harry hoped they had left. He hadn’t meant to be rude, he just wasn’t in the mood to conversate any longer. His throat hurt, it burned in fact and his body ached to a point it was beginning to numb. He had been staring at the ceiling for what felt like ages, every now and then tears falling from the corner of his eye. He knew. But he didn’t really grasp how shitty it would actually feel. 

He wanted to be angrier, he was furious at her there was no doubt, but he wanted to be angry enough to cut off communications, throw her to the wind. But instead, he wallows and worries, concern and anger mixing through his veins like venom. He just wanted her to be happy. Even if he wasn’t the one to do it. All he really knew about it was that Mark would definitely never make her happy.

Memories flew through his brain of every time Mark let her down, countless times now that he really tried to put his mind to it. Every time he had fallen short, and every time Harry was there. Every time she cried in his arms, every time he’d litter her hairline with kisses and whisper in her ear that it’s not her fault. He hadn’t ever had her fully, but those select evenings made his breaking heart soar, and he realised a piece of her was better than nothing at all.

He could remember almost everything, each time she had called or sent a text. One of his favourite memories had to have been when she had an entire spread of Chinese food due to a cancelled date with Mark. 

~

Harry walked over to his phone after the third ring, towelling his hair dry after getting out of the shower. “‘Lo?” "Are you partial to Chinese?" He could hear her sweet voice ask, with a hint of sadness at the end of her question. "Like, the people?" He asked, raising a brow with a laugh as he walked to his dresser to pick some clothes for the evening. "No, you idiot!" He could hear silverware clattering around as she laughed. "The food! Mark was supposed to come over, but he backed out." She sighed before continuing, "So, I have a lot of Chinese food and no one to eat it with. There's no way I can eat all this on my own, I'd have leftovers for months." She explained, her words dripping with disappointment. "And you want me to come over and help?" He chuckled, setting the call to speakerphone so he could lay it down on the bed to change. “Only if you’re not busy, I know it’s last minute.” She said, chewing at her bottom lip as she began to regret asking. “M’not too busy, love.” He murmured, “Wait, what did he get?” He asked, lifting the phone up again. She laughed, shaking her head. “He didn’t get anything in particular, told me to get a little bit of all the basics. You’ve got your pick of the litter.” Harry frowned, almost letting a growl-esque noise out, instead letting it rumble in his chest. Hearing how boldly Mark could care less about her made him angry. Sure he understood that some women like the nonchalant approach, but Mark was taking it to a whole different level. Playing her like a fiddle. Y/N really couldn’t tell how little she meant to him. If he absolutely had to fuck her, he didn’t have to be agreeing to dates. Or, telling her about the other array of women he’d been with alongside her. Harry dreaded each day that she would finally figure it out, knowing it’d break her. It was something he wasn’t sure he could fully bring her out of, and Mark had better hope Harry didn't get his hands on him when that day came. He sighed and slipped on some shoes before he grabbed his keys. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Harry knocked on the door, letting her know he had arrived, and the door quickly swung open. Harry grinned at the sight of her, and he swore he could feel his heart skipping beats but when his gaze focused, he noticed her nose and eyes were red and he frowned, “Have you been crying?” He asked, hands immediately finding their way to her arms. He couldn’t help it, it was like watching a fawn stuck in a bush, desperate for help. She cleared her scratchy throat and shook her head, before pursing her lips again. “Well, earlier… before I called.” She admitted, shrugging to try and blow it off. “M’okay, Harry. Come on, s’getting cold.” She grinned, taking his hands from her arms and guided him inside. “Just white wine tonight,” Y/N explained, as she grabbed it off the counter. 

Harry took a good look around her apartment, something he’d come to enjoy. Each day it looked different, like she would stay up rearranging the little details that hung on the walls, or were tucked into inconspicuous corners of the rooms. But today, he felt her heartbreak. She had laid out tons of blankets, candles, fresh flowers, all for comfort. The Chinese takeout containers laid out in a neat spread on the coffee table. He could tell she planned for a simple night with Mark, a real date. “Y/N..” He mumbled, eyes wide at the sight of her living room. He never imagined in a million years he would witness something so sweet, and honest just completely going to waste. She sighed, turning the lamp on and the ceiling light off. “I know, s’a bit much. I’m sorry, I just, I didn’t have the heart to take it all down.” She explained, nudging his arm with her elbow and offered a weak smile. “C’mon, y’got a favourite movie or something?” She asked and Harry felt his heart sinking, knowing if he had been busy, she’d have sat here alone, surrounded by the reality that someone just didn’t care enough. He sat down, taking a plate and looked through the boxes. “Really did get all the basics.” He tried, flashing a half smile her way before piling his choices on the plate and picked up his glass of wine before finally settling down next to her. “You know it isn’t too much, right? It would’ve been perfect.” He mentioned, biting into a dumpling to avoid her gaze, but from his peripheral vision, nothing could hide the small smile she managed out. 

Once they got past the initial shock factor, (Y/N, embarrassed to have been stood up so epically, and Harry, blown away by the idiocy of this prick that she apparently loved) they were back to their normal giggly selves. The pair both on their fourth glass of wine, having broken into another bottle already. The movie played in the background, totally forgotten about as they talked and laughed. 

“Seriously! Daphne and Jodie were mad at me for a week straight!” She giggled out, as she retold one of, what she called, her best pranks ever. “I’d be pissed too!” Harry agreed, wiping his hands off on a napkin. “My God, think tha’s the hardest I’ve laughed in a minute.” He chuckled, leaning his head on the bottom cushion of the couch. The two hadn’t bothered to sit on the couch, deciding to make the most of her blankets on the floor, which added much needed padding. She giggled, raising a wonton to her mouth for another bite, but squealed as grease poured out, smearing across her lips and chin, eliciting another laugh from Harry. He immediately sat up, grabbing some napkins and leaned forward to wipe her chin off. Her giggles died down, and Harry could feel her stare, both noticing the immediate closeness. He cleared his throat, the intimacy of it bringing a blush to his cheeks, eyes flickering up to hers. She smiled, wiping what was left off her chin before wrapping her arms around his neck to bring him in for a kiss. Harry groaned softly, immediately melting into her, his arms sliding around her waist to bring her into his lap. The kiss was soft, slow and Harry could’ve been reaching, but he felt so much emotion from her, the way she kept herself as close as possible to him, her fingers threading through his hair at the neckline. It sent the hairs there standing up, a chill making it’s way down his body. There was no lust, nothing suggested she wanted more from him yet. He wondered if she could feel his heart hammering against her chest, his cheeks growing a darker shade of red. The wine, beginning to take its full effect. That was when Harry understood he was in love.

Harry adored that memory, he held it close to him the nights she would give Mark another chance. It helped him sleep, like a mother’s lullaby, slowing his heart rate enough to drift to sleep despite the pain he was feeling. Especially now, after crying his eyes out, the corners of them dry and irritated from the ones he tried to wipe away, the memory brought him happiness. And even if it was fraudulent, he didn’t care. Harry would never forget what he thought it could feel like when she loved him too.

[the chinese food memory is so :'( why did i have to hurt myself like that??? there will be a part three and i think that'll be the last one. don't be afraid to send a message if theres something you'd like to read about in the third part. (really i have like three ideas and that could equal anywhere from 1k words to 3k depending on what i do with it, so please, all ideas will be welcomed.)]

[part III. here]

[pumpkinsy0]

Babs! We need a fic where older Ponyboy (maybe 18, gonna turn 18, let's just make him 18 for now) is in his senior spring break and honestly had no plans. Curly finds him, tells him he's going back to Haiti to see family and invites him along.

Nothing dramatic, just two excited boyfriends going to one of their home countries, Ponyboy gets to hear new languages, see new sights (he loves laying on the white beaches with Curly, listening to the ocean. They usually say nothing during that time--they don't need to) eat new food and of course meet more Shepard family. They're just as wild as the ones he knows in America, but there's such a sense of love and belonging in that home. They instantly love Ponyboy (there's just something about this white boy that ain't threatening.) They already call him names Ponyboy tells himself are just casual endearing ones. (No they've already adopted him, he's their token white boy) Pony wants to compare Haiti to his home, and it's sort of like that, but in it's own unique way.

Also, he learns of Curly's government name. The second he heard it, he felt Curly stiffen as an auntie came over and kissed both his cheeks and spoke about hos tall he was getting. Ponyboy could pratically feel the rage rattling around in Curly's body.

......Curly has a french name. That's why he hates it so much.

Curly gets another tattoo and re pierces his ear, and Ponyboy get his first tattoo, a small thing on his ankle or on his back (someplace he can hide it from Darry till he's 18 and can run away legally). Ponyboy and Curly walking in the streets at dusk to witness the prettiest sunset Ponyboy has ever seen, sitting on the rooftop balcony smoking weed.

It's the greatest memories they'll ever share with each other.

Pony gets into Harvard with his essay he wrote about his time as a 14 year old and how he grew to love himself with the help of a tough as nails greaser who took him to Haiti.

.......forget a fanfic where's the production team to make this movie?

its been so long since someone called me babs, i actually jumped a lil /pos /lh

idk y im getting more asks involving haitian shepards,,but im REVELING in it, im ABSOLUTELY eating this up like im at the last supper

AND THIS FITS SO WELL W ONE OF MY IDEAS!!!! I REMEMBER ONCE I SAID MAYBE CURLYS REAL NAME IS PIERRE AND HE HATES IT BC ITS SO OBVIOUSLY FRENCH COMPARED TO TIM AND ANGELAS NAME, ITS JUST LIKE

tim, 𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮, angela its even funnier bc i hc angela and curly as twins so its like, they whipped out this french ass name for one kid and looked at the other and just went “yea we’ll call her angela”, but i saved curlys entire life n just say his real name is christopher, i cant have my fav be plagued by the french COMPLETELY

(i also said that he hates it tim and angela would probably go “YO PIERRE U WANNA COME OUT HERE🤔🤔🗣️🔥��� over and over)

and pony being adopted as the token white boy is SO real, ik they call him “blan” (if u dont know, “blan” is like, the haitian equivalent of gringo, best way i can explain it)

BUT IMAGINE ALL THE THINGS THEY CAN DO!!! they can get ready for kanaval,,,going to the waterfalls,,,,seeing curlys other family that also live in the more country side,,,they can teach pony dances,,,,they can even go into some caves!!!! they can get fresca,,,,get fruits from curlys cousins backyard,,,go on lil walks w curlys cousins to the store for, the possibilities, anon im gonna scream,,

they even have pics to never forget the memories!!! pony also has a scar bc of a lil mishap w a tap tap, but we dont talk about that❤️❤️

and as for curly getting his ears pierced and getting another tattoo ik he was getting looks and lectures from ppl but he did NOT care and honestly, go him

plus everyones speaking in kreyòl and barely knows a lick of english, curly was def the translator the whole time but thats ok, he thought pony looking confused was pretty cute n funny

i will never forget this, anon

HAITI MENTIONED RAHHH🇭🇹🇭🇹🇭🇹🌺🌺🌺🥥🥥🥥🥥

[teecupangel]

Im curious about what is cannon and fannon in the AC fandom. Ive read many different origins for the scar Desmond has, but most people go with Bill being the one to give it to him. Is this because its cannon from a little known source(similiar to the fact that Altaïr can swim, as seen in the 3ds games, but most people make him unable to swim despite the fact) or is it widely accepted fannon? What about Masyaf castle? Ive read some fics about it being an Abstergo facility with the Templars having opened the Library, while others write it is just been left to time. And ofc cant forget Eagle Vision. Is it a unique ability to Altaïr only? Did his father have it too? Did every novice have to master it before becoming an assassin?

There could be others, but these are the facts that im mostly curious about. Thank you for answering. ^^

So I’m gonna break this into sections so I don’t have to think about scene transition or whatever rambling equivalent that has.

Altaïr Can Swim

We all accept that he can’t swim because that’s funny. However, if we take into consideration how Altaïr can swim as seen in his ‘sequel’, this is pretty much the complete opposite of “Altaïr has never been hit” status that he has in the fandom. They both causes desyncing so if we believe in “Altaïr has never been hit” then it’s not that Altaïr can’t swim, it’s that “Altaïr never slipped or fell into the waters” which actually points more to Altaïr being a badass. But we decided that Altaïr not being able to swim is a much funnier idea and went to town with it XD

Bill Being The Reason Desmond Has His Scar

Okay, so ngl, I also liked to write that Bill is the reason Desmond has a scar, either directly or indirectly (I mostly go for indirectly with another kid being the reason why he has a scar but Bill was there ‘supervising’), mostly because I like the plot point that getting the scar is the thing that finally snaps Desmond and got him to leave the Farm ‘randomly’.

Anyway, the canon/fanon blur a lot in this one as there are enough people that believe Bill made the scar as seen by this post.

My thoughts on that is pretty much summarized in the tags I left in that one:

#wait it's official? #or did we as a fandom just collectively saw how bill treated desmond and went #ah yes he's why desmond has that scar #seriously i hc it and it makes sense narratively for bill to be the reason why desmond has a scar #whether from training or by accident #but i don't remember it being even implied in any games #especially in ac rev where it could have easily been added in

To add to that, I’m talking about AC Revelations specifically because of Desmond’s rant in an early scene where he finally shouts at Bill for being a bad father. That was the perfect time to just drop that bombshell of Bill being the reason why Desmond has his scar but we didn’t get that. That’s the main reason why I don’t think it’s canon that Bill is the reason why Desmond got his scar but there’s 3 more scenes in AC Revelations where he could have talked about it, all of them from Desmond’s memories scenes.

I also talked about how I couldn’t find any evidence of Bill being the reason that Desmond got his scar in this post.

But the summary is I tried looking for any information about it in the books, pamphlet, manuals and references I had (I say ‘had’ because I had to leave them back in my old home after I moved due to space constraints TTATT), only focusing on any mentions of Desmond and Bill

Assassin's Creed Limited Edition Art Book (p40-41)

Assassin's Creed The Complete Visual History (p290 -292) - p291 has the line "... Desmond's father, William, adds an element of family drama..." calling it family drama sounds like an understatement considering how Bill and Desmond act around each other

Assassin's Creed The Essential Guide (p14, 66, 161, 218-219, 236, 238, 240) - this book is so weird. P218 says that Bill and Gavin shared the mentor role after the Great Purge, p237 says that only Bill took the mentor role (but didn't call himself the mentor) after the Great Purge

Assassin's Creed Atlas (p159, 165)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (White Version) (p18, 158-183)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (White Version - JP ver) (p18, 158-183)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (Black Version - JP ver) (p17, 113-127) - The Black Version is an older version, only going as far as AC Revelations + The Fall comics, The White Version has up to 3 + Liberation

No mentions at all about Desmond's relationship with Bill in the following:

That short game manual that's inside the game disc for AC1-AC3 (JP ver)

Assassin's Creed Reference Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed Perfect Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed 2 Reference Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed Archive Book (JP)

In conclusion:

The most I got can be summarized from Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia, p182

"... driven, intelligent but emotionally distant father of Desmond Miles..." " ... technically minded man, fully devoted to the Assassins and their cause, whose passion for politics outweighs his responsibility to his family. While William's wife has always been able to deal with this emotional distance, young Desmond could not. Eventually he grew to feel that his father was more of a drill sergeant than a parent and fled the compound, despite his parents' repeated warnings to never leave."

If Bill did directly or indirectly cause Desmond's scar, I could not find it in the official books I have or even on Desmond's or Bill's AC Wiki page.

Unless someone can point out where it officially states that Bill caused Desmond's scar, I believe the whole "Bill is the reason for Desmond's scar" is AC fandom's own Mandela Effect. Most probably something that started as a headcanon (and for a very good reason) and is commonly used by fanfic writers (including me) which has evolved as a Word of Dante that we, as a collective, have mistaken as a Word of God.

Masyaf’s Current Situation

There’s no official note of the current situation of Masyaf in the modern days and I think Ubisoft would probably not do anything about it narrative-wise… I’d honestly be surprised if they did anything about it if they make an AC1 Remake. Now, it’s a bit nebulous if the Templars did manage to get the library but it should be noted that the last time we see Altaïr’s Apple, Ezio let it stay in the library and the ACR novel gave us:

“The bookshop was used as an outpost for the Assassins, and Ezio stored the Masyaf Keys in the chamber where he had found the first key, underneath the bookshop.”

If the Templars got into the bookshop then they’ll find all the keys and would have everything they needed to get into the library.

However…

The Apple would find itself in the hands of Queen Elizabeth I and Mahatma Gandhi before falling into Templar hands.

As far as I can see, Queen Elizabeth I isn’t a Templar so it’s highly possible that the British Empire did their usual ‘finders keepers’ thing and this wasn’t a nefarious Templar plan. So either Ezio got the Apple out of Masyaf and hid it somewhere else that would later be found by someone (maybe John Dee?) or Ezio… just left it in Masyaf?

I wanna give Ezio the benefit of the doubts and believe that he knew leaving it in Masyaf would be such a bad idea so the Apple was most probably transferred somewhere else.

Which means that Masyaf was completely abandoned by the end of Ezio’s era which Ezio would have believed be something that Altaïr wanted to happen.

I realized now I’m rambling further and further away from the actual topic for this section.

In conclusion: we have no idea if Masyaf is abandoned or occupied by the Templars in modern day. I will also add if it’s occupied by Templars, it might be a secret ‘base’ or it’s affiliated with a non-Abstergo Entertainment section of Abstergo because, as far as I can see, Abstergo Entertainment’s headquarters are based on existing Ubisoft headquarters (ex: Black Flag’s Abstergo Entertainment is in Montreal = Ubisoft Montreal)

Personally, I think that Abstergo would take over Masyaf castle either officially or unofficially as a way to show the Brotherhood how they hold one of the most important locations in their history. That’s the kind of power play the current Inner Sanctum would do.

(It would be funny in a ‘that’s fucked up’ kind of way if Masyaf is an Abstergo secret facility that does experimental work with captured Assassins as guinea pigs which they have done in the Philadelphia facility (Fall comics) and Madrid (AC Movie))

Eagle Vision

It was actually never explicitly stated who had Eagle Vision and who hadn’t but it’s noted that humans, in general, have the capability to unlock Eagle Vision although there are humans who has an easier time unlocking it.

AC1 noted that the Levantine Assassins knew about Altaïr’s Eagle Vision but there’s no evidence to suggest that they have it as well. Most of the time, they just tell Altaïr to use his vision without saying if they have it as well or not.

(it’s just personal preference to write that 12th century Assassins, both in Masyaf and Alamut, would have some form of Eagle Vision to show how much the Brotherhood had ‘fallen’ in the modern day. Canon actually points that only a small number of people can access Eagle Vision)

[princessmacedon]

{ happy anniversary!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together. Template courtesy of Neffi! 💕

Name: Red, more commonly nicknamed Reddo

Pronouns: they/them preferred, she/he OK!

Birthday (no year): December 28th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? moved to kentucky when I was young, and for sake of ease i use EST (TOAST)! i live near a timezone line, so i get to be flexible like that >vo)v HAHA

How long is your roleplay experience? with a few on and off breaks, roughly 15 years? i forgot about a period of my life where i 'moderated' (read: was the most active user on) a warrior cats RP site; my first foray into rp proper was in pokemon rp on tumblr, my first muse was lyra but i didnt have an internet name until i picked up and settled into writing (you'll never guess who)

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? kind of half answered this above oops, but with warrior cats i genuinely dont remember? i probably just googled warrior cats and wound up there HAHA. for pokemon...... honestly probably the same thing

How were you introduced to TOA? key had mentioned it to me in passing a few times, so i knew she was there, but it wasn't until my friend zyra mentioned it to me and suggested we write macedon siblings together again that i actually joined, hahaha

Do you have any pets? i do! i adopted a ?? year old dog from the shelter about six years ago, so now he's x+6 years old :] pretty sure he's some kind of border collie mix, but not certain! his name is tobin, but he'll answer as long as you say 'ob'. he's a sillyhead

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) it used to be winter because i love the snow! but as i get older and more harrowed by weather conditions, i appreciate how normal and not-trying-to-kill-me autum is HAHA

What is your IRL occupation? (finger guns) figuring it out

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? drawing was my first love! i like reading, especially comics, and writing; i like video games and immersing myself in stories, and have passing interests in things that i don't commit to trying out (like resin, charms, etc etc)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? FFXIV, mainly; genshin impact and hsr; various farming-ish sims (story of seasons + old harvest moon, stardew valley, rune factory, currently fields of mistria); to a lesser extent dragon age, ace attorney, various VNs / otome / rhythm games, pokemon until roughly scarlet/violet era and then my wallet couldnt keep up with it HSDFSGVSD

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: as a kid it waffled between fire / dark, but not sure i have a dead set favorite type anymore. favorite pokemon still lucario and appletun for sure though!

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! (Optional bonus challenge: if you filled this out last year, try not to repeat what you said back then!) - i love christmas and thinking about gift giving! when i was in school my christmas spreadsheet hit like, 50 names HAHA nooooo way do i have that energy anymore, though - i'm reasonably fond of baking and also reasonably terrible at it! something always goes wrong but usually (usually) stuff comes out pretty tasty in the end. except for that time i set my oven on fire

How did you get into Fire Emblem? my friends were talking about how much fun they were having with the new game at the time, awakening! it looked fun so i decided to try it out

What Fire Emblem games have you played? - Beaten: Genealogy, Blazing Blade (FE7 if youre like me and still cant remember which one is which), Shadow Dragon & New Mystery, Awakening, Fates (Conquest + Birthright), Three Houses (Blue Lions) - Started: Binding Blade (FE6), Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance (FE9), Fates (Revelation), Shadows of Valentia, Three Houses (Black Eagles & Golden Deer), Engage

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: Awakening -- still Awakening! possibly tied with 3H, though. i really enjoy games where i can peacefully level grind

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! vaguely ordered, it's: Wolf, Maria, Cordelia, Seliph, Katarina...? if you think you're seeing a trend you're probably right, hahaha ^^ writing a character is an expression of love for me, so inevitably my muses climb higher and higher on my list over time

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! the clearest one i can remember is wolf, because when i was playing fe11 i was passively using him because he was pretty, and then he got 7 crits in a row and i was like :pika:

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳i'm weak toward green haired women AHSJASFDSF but actual game crushes, hmm... not sure!

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: chrom -> still chrom! - Fates: takumi -> hmm... silas or flora? - Three Houses: dimitri -> still dimitri, except now he's duking it out with yuri - Engage: i have the ring in my pocket as we speak, suffering from the burden of choice... probably diamant though?

Favorite Fire Emblem class? whatever class my blorbos thrive in

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? in all likelihood i'm a villager with just absolutely baffling AI. not entirely stupid, but you cant in good conscience say it's smart either HAHA as a playable unit though, i might be a recruit-type? i could do well if you help me grow, otherwise i'm just this scruffy shitty thing tucked into your pocket. middling-high skill growth, paper defense, and you wish you knew what my speed growth was because i don't (probably fast as a mage but realistically NOT as anything physical)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran) my heart says blue lions, but if i'm just some guy (unaffiliated civilian) i won't be surprised

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? - Boons: Reason - Banes: Authority, Gauntlets - Budding Talent: Flying

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon) hmm... probably either Firene or Lythos! i'm too much of a weenie to be from brodia HAHA

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?) toah, like noah! to all my xiv gamers out there this definitely applies to job shorthands too. durg. dirk. whum blum sidge. rurpur and rogg...

Current TOA muses: Maria & Katarina

Past TOA muses? Cordelia my beloved

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Maria! unless something unprecedented happens, i don't see that changing. writing her, her want and determination to love and find wonder in the world, to spread and be joy -- it just puts me in a good place! it's really, genuinely helped me a lot, even if her extroversion is exhausting to my introvert ass sometimes HAHA

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) uhhh... i definitely tend toward characters who are in some regard defined by a form of love or strong emotion, romantic though it need not be -- people who have some sort of powerful, aching tenderness in their heart. i've not really done as much as i've wanted in terms of bringing that out of them, but it's definitely something that draws me in to a character in the first place!

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? ooh, there are lots of characters i like who have a brusque edge or manner, who might be harsh or cold... i wish i could do that! i'd like to try, i think. and also the funny, energetic, boisterous types -- i love to see them and be around them, but i definitely can't pull it off hahaha

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) it's been a while since i've gone all in on this kind of scene, but i love emotional scenes and heart-to-hearts -- the sort of thing where you're communicating your feelings with everything you have and trying to reach someone else! i usually rein myself in well shy of that though, hahaha. i worry a lot about getting too lost in the sauce and derailing a conversation/thread, or making it all about what my muse/what they want to communicate.

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? for katarina, i'd love for her to make some friends! she's her own worst enemy in this regard, separating herself from friends/friendships whether consciously or subconsciously. for maria... well, i'd love for her to have a real heart to heart with someone!

Favorite TOA-related memories? to this day i miss and adore annie's frederick! his dynamic with my cordelia at the time was so much fun to write and to talk about and we had such thoughts for how their relationship would evolve -- it's one of the most interesting and endearing relationships i've had the pleasure of writing! on a sillier note, i often think about leif hauling ass after kanoesa's lewyn HAHA

Present or past tense? it used to be past tense, but i think toa's successfully converted me to defaulting to present hahaha ^^;; consciously at least, i try to match whatever my partner does!

Normal size text, small text, no preference? it doesn't matter to me, but i do hate fighting tumblr to keep all of the small text small.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 the wolf app/blog i've been refining on and off for the better part of three years is no secret HAHA, but i've seriously contemplated writing a few other characters! radd and boucheron, to name a couple. i get super attached to my characters though, so it's a bit tricky

[micamicster]

Hey micaaa, i just finished IWTV thanks to your passionate blog work on the show and I remember seeing you answer an ask about your thoughts on the second season but i didnt read it to not spoil myself and now i cant find it 😭😭😭 would be grateful if you could help a gal out xxx

Hi babe! So either I never answered an ask like that or its been lost to the bowels of tumblr, but that's ok because this is an ask! and I can share my thoughts here! And my thoughts are... mixed but overall positive. I will expand under the cut.

When I watched the first episode of the new season, I called my sister immediately and said, don't worry, they've done it, it's just as good as it ever was. Now I'm not sure I would say it's just as good as it ever was, (I have things to criticism this season whereas last season I really had not a single bad thing to say about the show at all) but it's still at a level of acting, writing, set and music and costume design, and thematic depth that I think is hard to find anywhere else on television. Complement sandwich coming up!

The acting, music, sets, costumes: this show is the opulent gothic romance I've spent my whole life craving and modern media not giving to me. (Fire emerald fenel or whatever her name is immediately and hire this team for wuthering heights or i riot). As in season one, there is a level of cohesion, thoughtfulness, detail, and sheer skill that goes into every element of this show that makes it just a joy to watch. Jacob Anderson is a revelation, and he's got a team that is on his level.

I agree that the pacing is not as good this season. In season one, I felt that each episode was its own distinct chapter in the story with it's own distinct arc, and I have to admit that I'm biased toward that sort of clearly structured storytelling when it comes to television. (It's television! It's got episodes for a reason!) For example, I thought the San Francisco episode was one of the best of the season, and I think that's because it's (sort of) a bottle episode, and because it's about the complicated dynamics between just a few characters, so it has that tight focus that other episodes in the season were lacking. I get the inclusion of hallucistat because I, too, missed the explosion of chemistry that is jacob and sam playing off each other. However I felt that there were times he was overused or unnecessary, and in some of the later episodes it felt like the writers worried their audience would get bored. I thought that it took a while to get a direction on what the dubai portions of the show were doing (rather than them just being a tool to enable story digressions, like the lestat/armand backstory). For as significant as they are, we really learn nothing at all about the coven aside from santiago (ben daniels u were having SO much fun, weren't you?). And it makes their betrayal, their plotting, and their deaths less interesting when they're just background costume hangers. (And it's disappointing when I think of how well other minor characters are sketched out in equally small screen time other places in the show.) Similarly I think that the last episode confrontation was underwhelming--maybe we needed an episode for the dubai climax and for the backstory climax?

(Not really a criticism here, just givng my personal opinion that despite what the actors are saying I have a hard time believing 100% in the louis/lestat reunion. We've never seen anything so far in the show not narrated by someone else (or directly experienced by daniel) so I have a hard time seeing it as "the truth" (what does that even mean in a show like this?) but instead as a version of the truth filtered through Daniel's imaginings, for his story's conclusion. But that's just my interpretation!)

(Also not really a criticism of the show but the fan experience hasn't been as fun this season. Last season everyone I followed was a fun little bubble against the wider fandom, this season the mutchies are at each others throats lol I of course stand alone as always being correct (in the secret takes I text my sister), everyone else is correct sometimes and incorrect others, or even both correct at the same time although they wouldnt like to hear it)

Final compliment! Theme: This show remains one of the best, most nuanced, and most empathetic portrayals of abuse that I have ever seen on tv. It's the gothic! It knows what its about! And what it's about is the way that people can both love you and hurt you, or want to control you, or be cruel to you, or damage you by loving you in a harmful way. It shows how abuse can use the structures of race, gender, age, and family, to trap a person, manipulate them, and control them. It shows how society aids abusers and punishes victims through these same structures. It shows how trauma can fracture a person's understanding of themselves, and of their own memories and experiences. And it says, with relationships and emotions this complex, there are always going to be new perspectives on what happened--even between a person and themself there are different versions of the truth. There are no easy answers, there are no one-size-fits-all truths in this story. The complexity of the emotions victims of abuse, the love and rage and fear, the gratitude and resentment, they feel toward their abusers are all present without the writing using these emotions to judge or vilify the characters. It manages to be empathetic in its writing of perpetrators, without demanding "forgiveness" from the victims or excusing/minimizing the abuse. (I know some people have different opinions on how successful the show is on this topic, I fall into the camp of thinking this is what the show does best--allow multiple complicated feelings and perspectives to be true at the same time). I think constantly about one of the showrunners quotes where they said (im misquoting) that is the gift of immortality and maybe also its curse--you always have time to try again, to get it right this time. Which is in many ways the allure and the curse of family--people you can't shake. People you can't escape. Immortality and memory and trauma as time loops. This show is so fucking good.

[orviposition]

if you could, would you have wanted for 0!yjh to meet dkos even just for a short nice moment (besides the canon one at the very end)? even if he would forget about it all in the end? vahdhv jgdjk how would that even go in your head 🤣

though i know he didnt suffer the way 41!yjh did it'd be so funny to see his reaction since 41 had such a.. memorable one XD i love them dearly. i want them to lose their shit and be down bad for a man they never met lol 41 had not even had an inkling of kdj's existence before yet fainted at what. happiness?? lol. and imagining 0 who knows kdj and has been getting help from dkos seeing his face and talking to him makes me scream

oh. ohhh man yeah ive thought about it although very briefly cuz with the way the 0 storyline is structured leaves a lot of room for imagination but also makes it clear that kdj cannot descend. but let's just say it's not the case, how it would go. maybe they'd meet during constellation banquet. yjh would be invited as seoul's representative, although he has (maybe) no story to inherit and no regression restrains at the time.

in walks kdj. yjh notices. hes rather young and much inexperienced, not exactly hardened by regression depression and still has that light-in-his-eyes so to speak. for yjh I'd say the first meeting would be bordering cute-awkward angle. this is still the guy who was paying for their private midday tryst all the time btw (yes. even during 0th turn) surely there must've been a few dms outside the context of scenario revelations that the two of them shared

for kdj, on the other hand, he'd feel probably sad, maybe even silently cry a little. he misses his own yjh and his own companions too. while 49 was busy having existential dread, 51 was having the time of his life with 0 after all. he succeeded in making him happy regardless where that happiness lead him.

gonna be talking abt side story now

oh 41yjh is still so... the human personification of "the tip of the iceberg" we know nothing about that guy. kdj knows nothing about him. hsy has no idea who he is. kdjs narration about him is both at fault and not at fault at the same time. cuz the og 41st turn isnt even written in twsa to begin with. nor is the 40th turn written either. kdj saw the one short paragraph of 41yjh shutting off his heart during that turn and using his companions for his benefit and ran with it and you cant even blame him cuz thats the only thing tls123 wrote of that turn. hsy mentions at some point during the epilogue that she and yjh (1863rd turn) did talk about events of his past regressions so twsa is not all "hsy's imagination" and yjh also mentions to biyoo that he doesnt remember the 41st turn so what if it was 1863yjh the one who told hsy that exact paragraph?? thoughts like these keep me up at night

and contrary to kdj's narration and lhh's fears, 41 isnt actually a monstrous existence. he cares for people and helps them. he loves people and people love him in return just as much. he is confused this time around though I'll give him that much. there are strange people around him. people who know him and the scenarios. people who keep mentioning this guy named kim dokja so much even he gets curious about him. most importantly his "archenemy" of the previous round is *gasps* not evil anymore. he knows something is going on just is far away from finding out what exactly.

[musicoftheheart]

oh my gosh okay so I wanna ask about all ur wips honestly but that kind of defeats the purpose soooooooo

4,7,8,14

4 because it sounds really ominous, 7 because the title makes me think someone (probably james) freaks out every time someone else (probably regulus) speaks french and a third person (probably sirius) thinks hes having an allergic reaction, 8 because this sounds like a sequel to hold me tight (and never let me go)??? and I have been loving that fic so far and cant wait for you to finish it (but no pressure, take ur time of course), and 14 because thats funny as shit

also, I remember you saying a while ago you might write a snooker au? is that happening? (again no pressure, I just wondered if u forgot to list it since you mentioned having brain fog recently (which is a cool name for it btw and I will be using it in future))

hi!! thanks for asking! <33

so ive covered a couple of these in another ask, so ill only sum them up here (you still get rambled at though dw <3)

4. dont walk too close

so! as i said in another ask, this is a fic following sirius (and regulus, later) starting hogwarts as walburga’s obedient heir, only to end up in gryffindor and learning that life isnt quite the way he’d been taught. his revelations and his sorting end up causing tension at home in the yule holidays, and a series of events end up with regulus in gryffindor too. im sure we can all imagine how that one goes. i posted a snippet in the other ask here

7. french epi fic

HA okay i love your guess, but— well, actually, youre closer to the truth than you might’ve thought. sort of.

regulus has just escaped his parents’ clutches and moves across from france to the one place he hoped he might be welcome: sirius’ home in england. its set in yorkshire, because thats where i grew up before i had to move away, and i miss it :( regulus’ english is poor as it is, but meeting sirius’ ridiculously attractive housemate, james potter, muddles his brain enough where the few basic greetings he knew were gone

james has epilepsy (thats where the ‘epi’ in the title comes from), remus gets them all free donuts, and sirius refuses to flirt on behalf of either james or regulus with the other. its chaos, its fun, and im enjoying it so far despite only being a few thousand words in. here’s a snippet:

Regulus slowly set his eyes back on the house. “It’s so big.”

Seeming to finally catch up on Regulus’ surprise, Sirius explained, “Effie and Monty helped us get on our feet, but with what Alphard left…”

”Mon dieu,” he breathed. But this time, it wasn’t at the house. It was at the man stepping out of it.

Stood at the front door, one hand shielding his eyes from the sun that had emerged from behind the rain clouds, was the most beautiful man Regulus had ever laid his gaze upon. His dark brown hair was tussled in a mess of curls on his head, but almost like it was purposefully messy rather than just uncontrollable. Round golden glasses sat upon his bronze skin, framing his chocolatey eyes perfectly, and a wide grin pulled at his mouth and revealed a little dimple on his left cheek.

When Regulus was eventually able to tear his eyes from the man’s face, his breath caught again at the sight of the rest of him. He clearly worked out, if the muscles making his t-shit stretch were anything to go by, but he wasn’t tall — perhaps only a couple of inches larger than Regulus himself, and he reached only a measly 5’7. Something shining in the sun caught Regulus’ eye, and he saw a thin metal bracelet on one of the man’s wrists.

”Hey, James!” Sirius called, climbing out of the car and snapping Regulus out of his trance. He’d made it to the boot to pull Regulus’ suitcase out before Regulus had even managed to open the passenger door.

”Padfoot!” James called with just as much enthusiasm — that was, far too much considering they lived together and had presumably seen each other just a few hours ago before Sirius had left to pick Regulus up. “And mini Pads!” he added, spotting Regulus finally getting out of the car.

Regulus shot him a swift glare for that nickname. He may be cute, but looks could only get him so far.

8. the warmth of your arms rivals the sun (its burning out)

this is another ive covered in another ask but i love it so im still gonna talk about it. youre exactly right, by the way — it is a hmt sequel! i guess the naming conventions were similar enough ahaha. its very james-centric with background storylines, and focuses on much heavier themes than those in hmt. i wont go into what they are, but anyone who was around during chapter… four? five? i dont remember, but it was early on. i added some tags, then took them away once i decided id split it into two parts. if anyone remembers those tags, that’s what twoya will cover :))

14. sirius is actually helpful for once wtf

this is planned to be a shorter fic, but still multi chapter. its pretty much just sirius shipping jegulus and doing everything he can to get his two favourite people together :) not written yet, but ive got a fair bit planned so far

bonus: snooker au

okay so, i would love to say i’ve worked on this some more since then but… i haven’t :( i really want to, but i want to do it well, which i know will take a lot of time. but, the details i have so far:

its the snooker world championships. regulus black’s first, but james potter’s third. sirius black — former world champion — is the estranged brother of the newbie regulus black, and the mentor and best friend of james potter, who was second place two years ago, but couldnt compete last year due to an unrelated injury, though healed up now. james, of course, is head over heels for regulus. regulus, of course, pretends hes not pining madly for the boy who stole his brother. sirius, of course, pretends hes not offended or hurt that regulus wont even try to fix their relationship. he also just happens to be stealing glances at remus lupin, who came fourth last year and seemed rather close to regulus. theyre all hopeless, and determined to win.

thanks for your ask! <33

[davekat-sucks]

If there's one thing i don't like about this fandom it's how much they make the kids more meaner? Villainizing? Than they actually are. Don't get me wrong, they have done a lot of bad but like these characters are FRIENDS. They do genuinely care about eachother in the end they aren't cold hearted and revel in other's suffering, they aren't Caliborn or Vriska afterall. I think they read the comic wrong, the kids were willing to sacrifice their own lives for eachother, a prime example of this was Daves conversation with doomed Rose. I blame the spaceship meteor part of the story for ruining the characters. Like everyone acted so ooc? Why were Jade and Davesprite giving John such a hard time about his dad die dying? Both of them literally had to watch their guardians die in front of them, you'd think they'd be the most sympathetic here? Or how Dave and Karkat, characters who will go through lengths to protect their friends just fucking stand there as everyone else tears themselves or eachother apart? Karkat is an ass yes but this was the same guy who was crying his heart out when he saw Solluxs dead body when in game or how he told Aradia bot that he would've tried to get her back to life if it weren't for other circumstances. Why was everyone being so uncaring at this part? It didn't feel right. The alpha kids got it the WORST, from bad writing to fandom treatment. I remember back in the day seeing stuff where Dirk was just down right mean to Jane "hahaha sucks to be you Jake is mine fat bitch". There was even a little bit of this aggressiveness in House of Dirk, now i do find that story fun but the small part where he calls Jane "xenophobic", bothered me. Like he would NOT say that to her. Have you seen how he speaks to her? "If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all. Let me know. Just say the word." Same guy who built a robot to protect her life and pretty much wrote an entire book for her, i think Dirk cares about Jane guys. This fandom and comic is so mean to Jane, as funny as i thought it was that Caliborn called her a fat fucking pig and cow, she really just became a punching box at that point. They'll shit on her because she's a woman getting in the way of the gay men. The ONLY thing people get from her as a character is that she's fat, because Caliborn said so along with a bunch of other things. Jake, poor Jake, gets sexualized by everyone he knows and had to burn his Grandmothers body right in front of him. But according to fans HE'S the asshole here because he cant communicate properly. Gee i wonder why. Roxy gets put on a fucking pedestal by the comic and fans, super extra special treatment. Ignore how she sexually harasses Dirk or almost killed Jane, no she's incapable of doing wrong, isn't that right Calliope? Yes, Roxy should be the new leader AND kill the Condescension yes. Now i never finished reading the epilogues because why would i? I'm probably missing a lot if we're taking them into consideration but not taking it into consideration because my point still stands because thats how the fandom treated them even before those came out. And even when talking about the base comic i still see those attitudes.

These characters DO have their personal problems but when people talk about they insert angst where it doesn't exist for favor of projection and i hate how common its become.

If people claim it is just cynicism that comes with growing up, there's clearly a difference between being cynicism, nihilism, and being a straight up asshole. If people say it is Dave and Karkat's depression is the reason why they stand around doing nothing as Rose becomes alcoholic and Terezi gets abused by Gamzee, it's sure strange they got over their depression right as VRISKA comes in to solve everything and those two bastards act like nothing had happened. Everything by Act 6 and Post Retcon just made all the characters worse. They have become an empty shell of who they used to be. The bleak outlook has become a theme for current Homestuck. It's been like this for Epilogues and Homestuck^2 too. I don't know if James Roach and HICU can really save the franchise and get out of all the characters having this negative light. Andrew Hussie and WhatPumpkin has shoved this jaded feeling right in the audience's faces that it's become the norm to expect the worse. Readers expect characters being assholes and more depression, they will receive it because Hussie and WhatPumpkin made it so.

[scoonsalicious]

WE R SO CLOSE TO THE END!! POOKIE IM SO PROUD OF YOU!! DELIVERED AND FED US AS ALWAYS.🩷🩷

I. CANT. WAIT. FOR. THE. LIL. ANGST. REVELATION. TOTAL. BITCH. POCKET. AND. BUCKAROO. ON. HIS. KNEES.

Seriously Pocket and Bucky is SO CUTEEE!!🤍🤍🤍 BOTH OF THEM R SMITTEN FOR EACH OTHER😭

*giggling, kicking my feet, crying because in real life i am lonely*

GIVE US MORE FLUFFY SEXY POCKET X BUCKY TIME!!🫵🏻🫵🏻🫵🏻

Now let us discuss about cunthage. Pookie already hinted that she’s going after out beloved nerd and as i said before WE SHALL MANIFEST FOR TOTAL BITCH POCKET.

MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET MANIFESTING TOTAL BITCH POCKET

Jeremiah saying she’s gunna die bcs if she didn’t take Winter Soldier back to HYDRA, they’ll unalive her. Also I think what Pocket said is true about cuntsy ‘like/attracted’ to Buckdoodle (I mean… who wouldn’t?😂) Somehow along the way, she connected with him, caught feelings and shit and ‘fantasising’ a relationship with him cus she’s that much of a cunt. The reason why she didn’t take him to HYDRA (*cough* during the Russia mission — man even I hate remembering/simply writing the Russia mission) is bcs he’s Bucky Barnes at the time and NOT the Soldat. And oh, also she’s enjoying the *cough* fuck ‘activity’. Fucking John IS OBSESSED.

Anywho……

IM JUST GOING TO STOP CRITICAL THINKING ABT WHAT HAPPENED IN RUSSIA AND WAIT FOR MOTHER POOKIE TO DELIVER THE FOOD AND I SHALL EAT IT WITH SUCH FEROCITY.

I want to know why it happened. Why Bucky made that choice (bcs i feel like the reason are still a bit unclear — like why do it again🤨 what is the purpose). I want a full depth of it. If I were Pocket, I *want* to see what happened (even if it killed me — better bleach my eyes). Oh and ofc, im not just gunna roast Jeremy… im roasting Buckwheat too before i forgive him.

*real footage of Pocket transitioningto a total bitch Pocket after the revelation*

Btw i read someone said Steve’s role? He has a role?!Let’s kill him. HE NEEDS TO BEGONE. GET OUT OF OUR LIFE. Steve and Jeremiah would be a great couple. (sarcasm intended). WHY STEVE? WHY CANT U JUST DUCK OFF. DONT TELL ME STEVE IS THE ONE WHO MADE THAT ‘NEWS’ (him and pocket false relation). OR THE ONE WHO LET CUNTHAGE TO GO TO THE RUSSIA MISSION. DONT FUCK W ME STEVE IM WARNING YOU. BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Also, I JUST remembered that Nat said Steve didn’t want Bucky to replace Dark Chocolate. I tell ya, HE’S FISHY. HE MUST HAVE A HIDDEN PLAN. HE DIDNT WANT BUCKY TO MEET POCKET, NOT BCS HE CARES FOR POCKET (okay, maybe he cares a little — bcs duh he *cough* loves likes her) but still he has his own agenda). HES PLANNING TO ‘CHARM’ POCKET. NAH. BACK OFF!!

Oh and rewinding back to chapter 26, that’s love right there. Pocket reassuring Bucky even when she didn’t trust him anymore, and Bucky ‘rejecting’ — pulling himself away — bcs it’ll kill him if she didn’t reciprocate his feelings. BTW THE KISS?!😫😫😫 *squealing like a child*. The way Bucky became owigoowie (man idk if this is even a word) when he said ‘present tense’. (🥹 — this is literally his facial expression at the time)

Alrighty, as usual, mother pookie, i love you and i wanna kiss you just like how Bucky kiss the life out of Pocket🩷🩷🩷 I didn’t say this much but thank u for everything. Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for replying. I know I type a lot bcs I want to really express how im feeling, but it sometime is restricted/limited bcs im not a native english speaker😂 so my thoughts aren’t conveyed fully/correctly. (Also bcs i am just that dramatic and a yapper)

Please, take a great rest while you can. Hope you always in the pink. Again, I cant wait for the lil angsty, bitchy Pocket and revelation in chp 27. I am eagerly waiting for the showdown (*cough*, please, let there be a scene of Bucky punching Jonah and Stevuck). Thy meowsies love thou, mother pookie🫵🏻

PS// I KNOW I SAID I RUN OUT OF CAT SMOOCH GIFS BUT I CANT HELP MYSELF AND SEARCH FOR IT. THIS IS FROM GOOGLE😭

Since you gave me a photo of Elliot and Theo, I presented to you my unhinged (literally) cats, fat one is Hyde (Haida) and smaller one is Muezza (Moja).

OH! Out of topic…

RAGHHHH MALAYSIA MENTIONEDDDDD!!!🫵🏻🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾KKAW KKAW

>>>and if there is a typo im sorry😂

Pookie, if you thought I fed you yesterday, I will GOURGE YOU TODAY! Eight mother fucking parts! Fuck. All the revelations in this chapter (well, most of them, anyway, lol).

Bucky and Pocket are just unable to not be together. It goes against their very DNA.

I have eleven fluff/smut post-series oneshots planned for the two of them, so we shall have happy times once the story is done. I can't quit them. They are my OTP (sorry, Buffy & Spike :( ).

Total Bitch Pocket has been unleased for Chapter 27! The snark is strong, and she is not afraid to unleash it, even if it has some negative consequences for her. She is using her greatest weapon at her disposal-- her dirty mouth, lol.

Jacoby is TOTALLY OBSESSED with Bucky-- it doesn't even matter what Hydra wants with him now. She wants him, and that's her prime objective. You will now be able to see what happened in Russia (Pocket, too!) and what happened to get him into that position. Ugh, I want to write so much more to you, but I am so dehydrated from this fucking migraine that my entire body hurts, so I can't type a lot without pain. Just know I love you, I love reading your comments. Your kittens are adorable and I want to give the squeezies.

xoxo You're the best!

[gaeasun]

Best and Worst Personality traits for Dogma? (if you're doing the character asks?)

I am doing the asks! Hopefully. I have not good with my inbox lately.

I think Dogma's worst trait is that he has a hard time adapting to things, especially things he doesnt expect, like Krell. If something doesnt fit in his box of what he expects it's too nebulous for him to process until he finds a way to bring it into his box. If I'm remembering the Umbara dialogue right, after the friendly fire incident Dogma says something like "how could this have happened" not why, but how. A friendly fire experience is so totally out of the ballpark of what he was expecting he cant fully internalize it was Krells fault too.

I cant say if this is his best trait but I do like this a lot is that Dogma actually does care for his brothers a lot, and I think of all the positive traits of his this is shown most in Umbara, is how much he does care about his brothers. He helps them up after they fall, hes so devastated and confused by the friendly fire he drops his helmet, and I'm pretty sure in the military it is a big no no to mishandle equipment. When Krell revels his plotting Dogma says with the most rage and sadness hes showed in the entire arc "you made me kill my brothers!" And finally when he shots Krell, he says "I had to, he betrayed us." He really loves his brothers., and this is reinforced several times in the arc.

[robinyourcreator]

more fates yelling under the cut, move along.

i need to replay revelation bc for some reason i remember azura saying that her mother died by way of sharing The Lethal Infohazards with her but that.

that cant be right. thats so fucking stupid. she was like EIGHT, at MOST. why the FUCK would that be the case.

fates has SO many problems because it has no timeline for anything so it contradicts itself constantly. azura is old enough to remember parts of Valla pre destruction but young enough she's a small child for everything in Nohr but old enough to have received Every Exposition and SO many deus ex machina macguffins and--

ugh. sigh.

it's because azura's assigned exposition and lore giver AND also assigned "every terrible thing must have happened to her ever," thats why, so when she says "if you talk about this outside of magical nonsense world, you will die by dissolving into mist and it will hurt the whole time," she can add "yes I know this because my mother committed suicide this way in front of me as a small child."

which. wow. the takeaway from this is NOT supposed to be that her mother is terrible for doing that to her, but that she's a hero

when like. Azura clearly KNOWS how to travel to the nonsense world through the water. we follow her there in conquest! so clearly mommy TAUGHT her how to do that! they could have just had that conversation THERE!

there's no way to fix fates, it contradicts itself so much it would require constructing an almost completely different ship from the parts to make it something that had internal consistency.

but god. if i tried to do it the first change would be that Azura's mother died the same way *Azura* dies in the birthright and conquest routes, and the second would be that Mikoto would fucking TELL her niece she's not carrying the weight of the world alone

literally just. can ANY adult not fail this child at every turn. please.

[justrandomfandomstm]

I have been noticing somethigng for a while and I need people to tell me its something that they have noticed too.

So, Im disabled. Physically and mentally. And this has made me grow up exceptionally fast in the maturing sense. And now that im technically an adult I notice more and more how people are just... not

Like at work people come to ME for info about all things metaphorical, some serious topics like mental health, their own problems and things that usually are reserved for older people. And I don't mind it, I love giving people info and stuff, I love helping them discover themselves and help them in ways I wish someone would have helped me. But it's... strange.

The thing is I'm barely even an adult still, and still feel like a child in so many ways, but I still always seem to be on the outside with them. Since I've been forced to grow up, everyone is going through revelations at 26 I went through at 16.

And its VERY weird to be one of the most mature person there and still be so technically young. Everyone thought I was at least 20 something, not 18. And I don't feel 18. I have never felt my age. I use it as the control of how much dosage of medication I should take, not as my age. And it's not a new thing, I have NEVER felt my age in any way. And it's getting worse.

I graduated and went to college at 17, finished my first uni year at 18 and dropped out. Same year and I'm working to move far away, a place to settle down. I've worked more than some of my coworkers. I'm the little child prodigy that makes them feel useless but I'm NOT. I STILL FEEL LIKE A DISSAPOINTMENT. I FEEL LIKE A 30 Y/O DISSAPOINTMENT. I DONT KNOW WHY

People look at me like I'm crazy or an 'old soul'. I've been called that MY WHOLE LIFE. I don't understand what it means, I don't get stupid youthful foolishness, I dont GET it because I dont feel young or foolish. And its exhausting to feel this way, so out of the world around me, always feeling so out of depth or swimming with toddlers, no in between.

That's why I have struggled with age and time all my life. I can never guess someone's age, I dont remember a single thing about my childgood and I can't name the ages I was at those times. Hell, I still say I'm 17, sometimes 20, or even 16. I dont feel the passage of time, I dont know what age I was when I started school, I dont know the age I broke my bones, started feeling chronic pain, started to grow up, started forgetting all those years.

But I cant SAY ANY OF THIS

BECAUSE PEOPLE TAKE IT SEXUALLY

LIKE 'im mature for my age' is now used for pedophilia and harrasment. But I AM. I AM AND I HATE IT. I AM AND I AM BURDENED TO LIVE LIFE WITHOUT SOME TYPE OF SPIRIT, LOOKING AT THE WORLD AS SOMETHING TO SOLVE AND NOT LIVE. SEEING IT AS BROKEN AS IT IS.

Maybe its because the world is burning down, being part of gen z and growing up in a burning world. And some people my age DO act like I do, but they are usually autistic or disabled and I just... want to know? idk, this was more of a rant. Im just so tired. Ha,