#i cant resist its in my veins

[grapecaseschoices]

This is Isyl, Amryl's sibling!

Originally my plan for Isyl was that Isyl [I haven't decided on pronouns lmao. Leave me alone. Isn't telling me what Isyl is. Isyl exists. Isyl is Durge jkjk ..... Isyl's pronouns are Cleric [of Lathander]!] was that Isyl was either raised by an off-shoot of lawful good/neutral Duerges that learned about Lathander [family members maybe?] or kidnapped by one, so basically kinda cult? BUT THEN I got the idea of Isyl was stolen by the Society of Brilliance.

But then I got this great idea of testing Isyl out as a durge, and now here we are. OG Isyl was very very sweet, despite loss of memories [or maybe because of] -- but duerge's have too many good asshole responses so this might change. IDK we shall see. I haven't played Isyl as much after I decided to shuffle my polyam plans from Isyl to Amryl.

[drchucktingle]

One of my fav podcasts is doing an episode on you and I'm shaking my head because they're not real buckaroos and they don't understand that you write because love is real and everyone should have joy in their lives. They're just making jokes and I'm like "at least buckaroos embrace what makes us happy"

yes this is interesting thing that happens with my trot A LOT. i usually will repost a podcast or interview if someone does a nice talk on chuck, but there is STILL a large portion of folks who seem to have the irony poison pumping through their veins and cant come to terms with the fact that my work is sincere

you can pretty dang quickly tell if someone is laughing AT you or laughing WITH you. i have trotted onto interviews where i IMMEDIATELY know i am getting laughed at and honestly that is okay. i cant really blame them because i know the way the culture of irony swirls around us and swallows everything up, especially online. i also know that as i trot forward and break down walls of 'low brow' and 'high brow' art there will be resistance, ALL the good trots forward will face resistance.

HOWEVER it also has to be said that a lot of this is just plain old SUBCONSCIOUS BIAS (or maybe conscious bias sometimes) against queer people and neurodivergent people. if my work was straight and i followed the neurotypical template for art i would not be treated like this. honestly the most fascinating thing to me is that these otherwise kind, well-meaning or even politically left people are just publicly tearing apart someone for, if you really wanna get down too it, being bi and autistic. i think they would be HORRIFIED is someone pointed that out, and for some reason they cant see it

i think a lot of this has to do with people thinking i am not 'real'. it is much easier to treat a 'character' this way.

but it is fine. its the trot ive got, and if you think about it, even though these folks are resistant to take me seriously and with actual respect for my work, it is actually THEIR loss. a podcast episode where you make fun of my book titles for an hour is SO MUCH LESS INTERESTING than a podcast where you pull apart what im actually doing and the intention behind my work. any time a buckaroo dives into THAT part of it, their analysis resonates across this timeline. so really its the folks makin fun that are missing out

[mxilkyways]

Sweet Affairs

summary: after a hunt gone awry, dean is pissed that the reader had put her life on the line - however, through concealed feelings and misguided judgement the reader refuses to see why dean is so worked up. An argument ensues between the pair that reveal hidden emotions and lead to them indulging in what they both had been craving for so long.

warnings: very heavy smut (⚠️), all the shenanigans

pairing: dean winchester x f!reader

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” his voice was taunt, gritted through clenched teeth as the door to the cheap motel slammed shut behind him.

Your jaw ticked, vein popping from under your skin as you swallowed down the obscenities you were tempted to spew at him. The tense silence on the car ride back had paid no help in trying to douse the frustration and insults whirling through your mind, rather having provided you the opportunity to stare daggers into the side of his head.

Your quietness seemed to push Dean even further, a disgruntled huff passing his lips as his fingers curled around your forearm; whirling you towards him. You whined in protest, attempting to tug yourself from his grip however his hold just tightened.

“Dont. Dont you dare try to pull away.” his tone left no room for argument and so you reluctantly stopped resisting. “Do you even understand what you did today?”

Your eyes narrowed, mirroring his, as you swallowed harshly. You could feel the anger in his hold, his fingertips dug in so hard there’s no doubt bruises would be left behind, yet it only served to fuel your own rage.

“Im not a baby, Dean. Of course i know what I did — i had a choice to make and I did what I thought was right.” venom leaked from your tongue, speaking to him in a manner that portrayed him as a petulant child.

A growl emitted low within his chest, his restraint clear on the verge of snapping. You watched as his head pivoted to the side, tongue darting out to wet his lips. It was barely a few seconds of peace before a scoff was drawn from his throat followed by the chastising echo of a laugh.

“Bullshit. You’re exactly what a fucking baby is — you got no goddamn brains throwing yourself into danger like that. You nearly got yourself killed, what about that screamed right to you?” he was provoking you, trying to get you to admit you were wrong but you were too stubborn for your own good.

Your eyes scanned over his face as you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, biting so hard a metallic tang bled against your mouth. You noticed his gaze drop before he subconsciously moved, running his thumb along the outline of your bottom lip; pulling it from between your teeth.

You jerked your head backwards, away from his touch. “You’re acting like you wouldn’t do the same —“

“Its different” his words cut through yours. You glared at him again yet he seemed to pay no attention, his focus solely drawn to the blood that stained the cracks of your lips “you’re different”

This caused you to reel back, your arm yanking from his grip. Your chest heaved as disbelief coursed through your veins; eyes drawn almost into slits. Dean cursed as his fist clenched, dropping down to his side.

“Are you kidding me? How am I different, Dean? I had every right to do what I did and so what if I put my life at risk — the goddamn vampires are dead, thats all that should matter” your voice was raising with every word that left, your emotions coming to a boil.

You were about ready to turn and leave when Dean closed the distance between the two of you, his chest pressed so closely against yours you could feel the beat of his heart as it hammered against his ribcage. His fingers moulded to your chin, twisting so you had no choice but to look at him. His hold was so tight your cheeks squished inwards, your lips pouting involuntarily.

“You dont get it do you?” his tone was so grating you were left stunned, chests fitting together as you both struggled to cool down “I cant lose you — and when you do stupid shit like this, it scares me.”

Silence seemed to filter through the air as you registered his words, brain churning to try and decipher exactly what he was implying. His gaze jumped around your face, from your eyes to your lips, to your cheeks as his fingers flexed.

His hold loosened, hand sliding to the back of your neck as he now cradled you. His thumb swiped idly across your flesh, soothing down the impressions his nails had left behind. His lips drew into a thin line, an indication he was battling whatever was running through his mind, before his eyes snapped back to yours; a newfound sense of determination clear.

“I care about you, okay?” he paused, letting the words hang in the air “more than id ever bothered to admit to myself — to admit to you. You’re different because i dont know how the hell I would ever be able to live with myself if something happened to you.”

“Dean, I —” the words got caught in your throat, a tight coil forming within your stomach. Your tone was no longer harsh rather it was weak, like all the air had been sucked from your lungs.

“Just listen… please” his eyes were half glossed over, his eyebrows drawn together in a desperate act of pleading. He didn’t wait for you to respond before he spoke again.

“Ive tried so hard to push down my feelings but you make it so goddamn difficult when every time you walk into the room, I feel like being sick because I’ve never seen someone so beautiful. I thought… I thought you’d cursed me, bewitched me cause’ there was no way I was finally falling in love with you, but then I realized that maybe — maybe you’re just that perfect.” his eyes closed momentarily, a sharp inhale whistling in the space between us. “I hate you for it, sometimes - having made me fall in love with you because when you do the things you did today, I panic. I would do anything to protect you but at times like this I feel so useless, helpless that I cant just take you away from every bad thing in this universe… m’ sorry for getting angry but can you blame me? I dont want to lose the only pure thing I was given the honor of loving in this godawful life”

Your lips were parted as you took in every word that left his tongue. You stood, frozen, your hands itching to reach out, touch him, show him how much his words meant to you. There seemed to be a buzzing in the air that vibrated against your skin, causing goosebumps to awake on your skin.

“You’re not joking are you?” the sentence sounded dumb the moment it entered into the space however your brain was running overdrive and it was impossible to control what slipped out.

Deans head fell back, a dry laugh tugging at his throat before he drew back, gazing at you with such disbelief. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“No” you shook your head, your own smile gracing your face before you leaned forward; connecting your lips to his.

The kiss was soft at first, your lips only slightly pressed against his as you tested the waters yet, almost clinically Dean deepened the contact. His hands moved across the flushed flesh of your neck, trailing over the blades of your shoulders, down the hollows of your back before coming to rest on the plush fat of your hips.

His fingers tightened possessively, drawing you impossibly closer as a groan jutted against your mouth. Your own hands splayed against his chest, creasing the fabric of his shirt.

You pulled back momentarily, a string of saliva connecting the two of you before it popped, glazing your bottom lip and chin. Deans gaze darkened as he eyed the scene, barely giving you time to register what was happening before his lips were attached to the skin of your chin. He kisses up the length of your face till he reached your lips again, letting his tongue run over your bottom lip; seeking entrance.

You hummed against him, parting your lips as his tongue directly began to map out the entirety of your mouth. Your hands threaded into the hair at the nape his neck, causing a sudden moan to escape Dean. The corner of your mouth tugged up before his teeth were biting down on your swollen lips, your own moan following suit.

One of your hands delve down between the two of you, landing on the prominent bulge tenting his jeans. He hissed, his hips rutting forward; chasing the way you palmed him through the, what he now considered, inconvenient fabric of his pants.

Your movements never ceased, working in tandem with the way his lips fought against yours. Suddenly his fingers caught your wrist, pulling back your hand as he whined against your mouth.

“Ah — fuck… you gotta’ stop that, sweetheart, or i ain’t gonna last” his breath was hot against you “plus if my cock’s gotta be milked, its gonna be inside you”

Your body shuddered as his words reached your ears, your thighs clenching instinctively to try to release the pressure that was building up. Dean didn’t fail to notice your action, a cocky smirk gracing his features as he patted the underside of your thigh.

The fat of your ass jiggled as you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist as your arms linked behind his shoulders. His hands grasped at the flesh of your thighs, holding you against him as his erection subsequently rubbed against your core from outside your shorts.

His lips met yours again in another feverish kiss as he began to lead you both over to the edge of the bed. With a soft thud your back hit the sheets, the mattress creaking under the newfound weight. His body caged atop yours, his forearms resting either side of your head as his hips slotted between your legs.

He rolled his hips forward, the rough material of your shorts snagging against your underwear; eliciting a moan from your lips. “shit, dean — need you so bad”

Your words caused him to hum against you yet something seemed to snap inside him as he picked up his pace. His fingers grasped the edge of your shirt, tugging it over your head before moving to the buttons of your shorts; those being torn from your body like it was a reflex.

Once he had you stripped down, he pulled back to admire you — sprawled out on the bed, hair tossed about, chest heaving. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, his adams apple bobbing as he swallowed, like he was a man starved.

“Fucking hell” he muttered under his breath before diving to the column of your neck. His lips worked overtime, sucking harshly at your already reddening skin before his tongue would soothe over his art; licking a stripe up the column of your throat.

Your head fell backwards against the pillows, allowing him more access to assault your flesh. You were already a moaning mess and he hadn’t even touched you.

His fingers skimmed up the sides of your stomach, lifting your back off the bed as he fished the bra from your chest. His lips memorized their way down your neck, leaving marks along your collarbone before he paused just above your breasts. His eyes filtered up to yours through his lashes, silently asking you for permission.

“Please — please” you begged autonomously. At your signal, he wasted no time. His hands cupped around your breasts, kneading them as his mouth sucked and devoured your hardened peaks simultaneously. His teeth grazed along your skin, your back arching off the mattress as your legs tightened around his waist.

“So beautiful” he whispered as he continued to abuse your breasts. With a harsh pop, he pulled away from your chest, pushing up to capture your lips with his. “Cant wait to taste that pretty pussy of yours, baby”

You mewled against his lips, your underwear no doubt soaked through to the point of it being transparent.

“You gonna let me taste you, sweetheart? Please, let me taste you”

You clearly came undone right then. Your nails dug into the sheets beside you as you breathlessly pleaded for him to touch you. He gave a satisfactory hum before his fingers breached the edge of your panties, toying with the lace against your plush hip.

“Pretty little thing” he purred as he moved to spread your legs, settling himself on his knees at the end of the bed.

He trailed a line of wet kisses to the inside of your thighs, his hands placed with such a forceful grip to keep your legs pried open for him. You watched him with bated breath, your lip sucked between your teeth again.

His nose skimmed along your skin as he made his way up torturously slow. His nose nudged against your clothed core as his mouth came to a pause at the edge of your underwear. His tongue darted out, leaving a sloppy trail of saliva over the lace as it soaked through to your searing flesh underneath.

His teeth grabbed the top of your panties, sliding them down your legs until you were bare in front of him. An animalistic growl tore from his chest as his eyes locked into your core; glistening in a sweetness he was dying to savour.

He tightened his hold on your thighs before roughly yanking you towards him, causing you to yelp in surprise. He huffed out a laugh, the air blowing out on your bare cunt. You shuddered, your legs closing instinctively - wrong move.

Deans fingers flexed as he forced open your thighs again, his eyes staring up at you with a fiery desire. “Do that again. I fucking dare you” he scolded, the vein in his neck popping in frustration.

You could only whine out a pathetic ‘sorry’ which seemed good enough for Dean as seconds later his tongue was pressed between your folds.

“Goddamn, baby — you gonna get me pussy drunk with how sweet you taste” an incessant spew of moans fall past your lips as he drinks you in, slurping at your cunt like its the best thing he’s ever eaten.

He hooks your leg over his shoulder, giving him better access to delve his tongue deeper, ravaging every part of you he can reach. Your heel digs into the crease of his back, a pitiful attempt at grounding yourself before you spill against his mouth.

Dean hums against you, the vibrations nearly snapping the coil that has built within your stomach. He feels your legs shake, one hand coming up to rub encouraging circles.

He pulls his mouth away; his nose, lips and chin glistening with your slick and the sight almost sends you over the edge. Instantaneously his fingers replace his absence, toying with your cunt as his thumb moves to tease at your clit.

A slew of curses are thrown into the air as you messily grab at his hand on your thigh, intertwining your fingers with his. His efforts are relentless, pumping in and out of you as you drip down his digits and create a pool on the sheets underneath.

It’s once he curls his fingers inside you that the rubber-band finally snaps and your whole body spasms around him. His fingers work you through it, swirling around your folds as he coats his hand in your release.

“God — you’re too fucking good to me, feeding me when I’ve been so hungry for you” he brings his fingers up to his mouth, sucking them clean as he groans in fulfillment. He licks his lips, swiping your wetness from off his chin as if he was savoring every last drop of you.

You watch him with half-lidded eyes, your lips parted as small puffs of air tear from your lungs. The sight of him licking himself clean of you has your core throbbing again, a new wave of slick coating your walls.

You push yourself onto your elbows, your hand reaching out to grasp his jaw as you bring him up to your mouth; tongues clashing together in a battle of dominance. His hips rut into the mattress, his erection boarding painful from the lack of attention.

His fingers thread into your hair, wrapping around sweat-slicked strands as he continues to wreck your lips.

“You taste that, my pretty girl? Taste how fucking good you are” he groans into your mouth, making sure to run his tongue over every inch of your gums “Need more… need to stuff your pussy full of my cock — need to fill you up”

A whine pours from your throat yet not a second is wasted as your digits tug at the hem of his shirt. In one fluid movement, the fabric is stripped from his body; his muscle’s flexing as he settles back down between you.

Your cunt tightens around air as your gaze rakes over his body, every crease and hollow is reflected under the dim lighting of the room. Involuntarily your hips rock forward, brushing against his stomach.

“Ah — shit” he curses, his eyes dropping to your trail of slick that now coats his abs. His patience is worn thin, the need to feel your gummy walls clench around him becomes too much.

Theres a brief clinking of metal and the ruffling of jeans as he relives his body of clothing. His cock springs up, slapping against his stomach as his swollen tip glistens in pre-cum.

Like a greedy child, your thumb moves to swipe over his slit before sucking it clean off your finger. A pleased hum vibrated against your throat, his cum coating your tongue like a film.

Deans cock twitched against his abdomen, pulsating red and angry as it sought to be buried deep within your heat.

His hand wraps around his length, a shuddered intake jerking his chest. He shifts his hips, bending your knees and drawing you in closer. He slaps his shaft against your cunt before sliding it through your folds, coating his member in a layer of your wetness.

You hiss, your nails digging crescent moons into your palms. His eyes float up to meet yours as he positions himself at your entrance.

“You sure you’re okay with this?” his tone is soft, genuine.

“Ive never wanted anything more than you” your words serve as reassurance; a pathetic moan escaping Deans throat as he finally sinks into you.

His pace is slow, allowing you time to adjust as your pussy sucks him in. As his balls slap against your heat, he pauses above you — the stretch of him inside you both tender yet addicting.

His fingers skim your cheek, his face lowering to pepper kisses against your skin; your temple, your nose, your eyelids before meeting your lips.

“Doin’ such a good job f��me sweetheart, taking me so well” he praises as his hips slowly rock back and forth, setting a steady rhythm.

Your walls tighten around him, a string of incoherent mumbles spewing into the humid air of your bodies. The life outside is quiet, a stark contrast to the pornographic sloshing of his cock as it squelches in your juices.

Deans eyes fall to where he rocks in and out of you, his cock disappearing between your folds before emerging lathered in your wetness.

“Thats it baby, keeping suckin’ me in — fuck, you feel so good” his pace is becoming dreadfully slow, your body craves to feel every inch of him as he utterly destroys you

“Need you to go faster, Dean” you mewl, fingers curling around his bicep as if you could pull him to go harder.

Immediately his hips snapped forward, sheathing himself fully inside you before pumping in and out at a brutal rate. The fat of your ass rippled relentlessly, your breasts bouncing in sync as he continued to batter your cunt.

Your head lolled back, back subconsciously arching off the bed to take him deeper, feel every vein as it brushes your cervix. His hands shoot to your waist, holding down your body to angle himself just right as he reaches that spongy flesh.

You cry out, everything seemingly becoming too much as his tip kisses and teases that knot forming in your belly.

Dean only growls as your walls flutter around him, arms flexing as he tries to fight back his own simmering release.

“Could stay buried within’ your sweet little pussy all day” his hips stutter briefly “S’ like you were made for me — you’re the only thing i did right”

His name leaves your lips in a breathless chant; a warning. You can feel the knot tightening in your stomach — his length antagonizing you, testing how long you would be able to last.

You try to claw at the mattress, attempting to break away as the sensation overwhelms you but he holds you close. His body comes to encase yours, forearms resting beside your head as his lips dip to the shell of your ear.

“You’re so fucking perfect, too innocent for this world” his teeth nip at your earlobe, hot breath tickling the skin of your neck.

His words were ironic given your current state; cheeks glossed with tears of pleasure, lips swole and bitten, his cock pumping in and out of your tight hole as the only sounds filling the room were that of your lewd moans and his balls spanking against the flesh of your ass.

“Ive got you, pretty girl” at his signal the heat in your belly boiled over, body spasming under him as your ears rang and vision turned bleary.

Through your haze you barely made out the approval of his words, his voice strained and low; “Look at you, creamin’ around my cock”

He worked you through your high, pace keeping steady before he suddenly pulled out; thick ropes of cum painting your puffy cunt. Your walls clenched at the empty feeling, already missing having him make you feel so full.

His fingers glided through your folds, pinching your clit and eliciting a sensitive whine from you. He lathered up a mixture of both his and your release before stuffing his fingers inside you, making sure nothing went to waste.

His fingers pulled out with a squelch before he brought them up your lips, nudging at your mouth. You enclosed around his digits, tongue swirling over the tops of his fingers as you drank down the last of both your releases.

He placed a gentle kiss atop your temple before capturing your mouth with his.

“You did so well, love — you okay?” his eyebrows knitted together as he examined your worn out state. You could barely muster a nod in response, your legs still shaking and chest still heaving from the aftermath.

Dean patted the outside of your thigh before he was off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. He returned only moments later, a damp towel in hand as he clambered back over to you.

He delicately spread your legs, pressing the towel along the inside of your thighs and over your core as he worked to clean the sticky mess of your body. Your teeth ground together as he drew along your tender flesh.

“Sorry, pretty lady, but i gotta get you cleaned up” he murmured, tossing the soiled towel to the side as he finished.

He helped lift your hips from off the sheets, gliding your bare form underneath the warmth as he slid in next to you. His arm wound its away around your waist, drawing you in as your head perched against his chest; the steading beat of his heart pounding into your ear.

He left a kiss to the top of your hairline, his lips resting on your slightly sweaty and flushed skin. Your fingers skimmed along his chest, tracing along the lines of the tattoo inked into his body.

A comfortable silence blanketed the two of you before your quiet voice broke the air: “I know i didn’t say it before but I love you too, Dean —”

“You dont gotta say anything, sweetheart… havin’ you here’s enough for me” he cut you off, hold tightening around your waist.

“But i want to” your chin perched upon his shoulder, eyes peering up at him through thick lashes. “I dont want you to think you’re alone in this, Dean because i feel the exact same way… I always have, I was just scared of ruining whatever we had”

He scoffed, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

“Baby, if i ever rejected you, id damn sure have lost my mind”

a/n: idk what i just wrote

© dividers by cafekitsune

[heyjwi]

game over | pjs

no synopsis just sub nerdy gamer jwi

(i’m going insane bro. i came out of my coma after these pics dropped so enjoy <3) _________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

it’s a known fact that if jisung was asked ‘games or you’ he’d pick games. he was addicted to sitting at home in front of a screen, wearing his nerdy little glasses and shouting curse words to his friends through his mic.

today , jisung looked way too fine to be left alone. his hair slightly damp from the shower he took a little while ago, and those thick rimmed glasses that suit his face so well. you quietly manoeuvred your way over to his desk and stared down at him blankly.

‘what do you want baby?’ , he whispered, averting his eyes to you then back to his pc. you didn’t speak a word, slowly moving to sit on the floor. jisung smiled awkwardly, oblivious to what would come next.

your hand made its way to rest on his thigh, but jisung just kept talking to his friends through his headset. it was annoying how he could just ignore your presence.

he looked down at you for a split second when he felt your hands rubbing his clothed cock. moving excruciatingly slow. with a soft moan, jisung leaned back into your touch, his cock hardening even more under your hands. his eyes never leave the screen as he focuses on the game.

you chuckled at how eager he was to keep playing, but one thing you do know is that he can never resist you. jisung stopped playing for a second to pull down his sweats, looking down at you before going back to the game.

jisung groaned softly, pushing the mic away from his plush lips as you began to stroke him. he can feel the sensations coursing through his veins, his hips moving rhythmically with your hand, seeking more pleasure.

his moans grow louder now as he reached to mute his mic, which he unknowingly misses since his first instinct was gripping the side of the chair instead. ‘baby go faster fuck.’ jisung breathes out between gasps for air. ‘nd don’t stop... please’, he begs, thrusting his hips forward into your hand when your fingers grip his cock tighter.

you increased the pace of your hands, feeling him shaking in his chair. jisungs hands find yours, guiding them up and down his length as he loses himself in the pleasure you're giving him. jisungs eyes are closed now, sweat trickling down his face from the intensity of the moment.

his headset had already fallen off when you start to hear his friends, the muffled yells and hushes made you chuckle a little.

‘you don’t wanna play anymore ji?’, you whispered, inching closer to him as spurs of cum started leaking out of him.

‘i cant even f-focus..’, he moaned out breathlessly. you moved to lick his leaking cock, looking up at his eyes, his specs now wonky and eyes filled with tears. jisung lets out a strangled cry as you take him into your mouth. his hips jerk upwards, trying to get more of himself to fit inside your warm mouth.

jisungs fingers sink into your hair, holding you close as he feels the head of his cock brushing against the back of your throat. his hips buck wildly, fucking your mouth in a desperate search for release. he whines and whimpers, feeling your tongue attacking his sensitive cock, but he just doesn’t want you to stop.

jisungs moans become louder, more desperate as you take him deeper. he feels himself getting closer and closer to the edge, his cock throbbing in your mouth, ‘gonna cum..’ he warns between gasps for air.

you gagged on his cock feeling his hand pushing on the back of your head. as his loud whimpers echo through the room, jisung releases his seed into your mouth. his cock throbs as he pumps hot, salty cum into your throat. he holds onto your hair tightly for support, his entire body shuddering with pleasure.

you pull away, wiping the remains of his cum off of your lips. jisung was slouched in his chair, specs hanging off of his face and his cheeks flushed in a bright pink.

the room fell silent, only sounds of jisungs breathing filling the air, until..

‘bro jisung defo just got the best head of his life’

followed with a few laughs heard through his headset…

© heyjwi

[billsbabydoll]

“𝒷ℯ 𝒶 𝑔ℴℴ𝒹 𝑔𝒾𝓇𝓁 𝒽𝓂?”

contains:LIGHT ANGST+PURE SMUT<3

summary:after a huge fight with tom, things have been so tense between us hes been sleeping on the couch ever since, completely avoiding me.growing annoyed and frustrated at my stubbornness tom caves in, finding a way to make me forgive him.

WARNINGS:dom!tom, sub!reader, arguing, p in v (from the side i guess :p), pet-names, hair pulling, fingering, SLIGHT breeding kink.

notes:tysmmm for the followers i appreciate and love everyone single one you!

“your a fucking stupid whore!” tom yells towarding above me, pointing his finger angrily at me.

“oh yeah whatever tom fuck you, motherfucker!” i snap back getting closer up into his face, my anger coursing through my veins.

this was a couple days ago when tom came home bitching about whatever stupid thing he was going on about, he then started fussing at me which caused me to get annoyed and ultimately started a huge argument between us.

by now ive already forgotten what caused this whole argument in the first place, since the fight weve both been dead ignoring each other, both too petty to admit our wrongings.hes being petty to the point wheres hes even sleeping on the couch just to a prove a point, but i know hell crack any day now.

*TOMS POV*

its been almost a week since this whole mess, and im going crazy, completely crazy.in the past when we would fight wed make up in 2-3 days but i guess shes waiting for me to apologize first, and honestly i cant keep living like this anymore.i need to make her forgive me even if it means fucking the shit out of her just the way she likes it.

currently she was sleeping peacefully (not for long) in our bed, the tv playing quietly in the background.i slowly open the door making my inside the room, softly closing the door behind me.

*BACK TO ORIGINAL POV*

i stir awake feeling the bed dip behind me as tom slipped into the covers moving closer, his arms finding their way around my waist.

“what are y-you doing here?”i tiredly asked my voice slightly cracking.

“oh..cmon babyy.”he whispered softly in my ear his voice rather seductive almost pulling me into a trace like state.

“you can’t stay mad at me forever you know. forgive me, i know you wanna..”he adds his voice so addicting and mesmerizing he knew i couldnt resist him when he would talk like that.he removes his left hand away from my hip now intertwining it into my hair, tightly grabbing a fist-full of it.

“just s-shut up, go away.”i responded playing hard to get but in reality the least i wanted him to do was to go away, i wanted for him to put out the burning desire starting in my core.

he chuckles lowly seeing right through my fake facade he moves his right hand away from my hip.now inserting and reaching his hand into my pajama shorts, his fingers effortlessly finding their way in between my slick wet folds.

“see your all ready f’me baby, not so mad now huh?”he teased, i could practically hear the damn smug smirk on his face.he begins to glide the tips of his fingers up and down my folds causing me to croak a whimper.

“mmh-fuck..” i mumble trying to suppress the moans his toying of my cunt were causing me.

he continues rubbing and sliding his gently fingers around my sex before inserting his middle and ring finger inside my cunt, moving them inside me in a “come here” gesture.

“you like that?tell me how good it feels hm..” he coos, enjoying the sounds of me crumbling and falling into his submission.

“mmugh!f-feels so fucking good!”i whimper my mouth hanging open, my eyes rolling back as i feel his fingers building a harsh and brutal speed, his other hand tugging and pulling on my hair harder and harder.

he suddenly stops, causing me to whine out of frustration.he removes his hand out of shorts bringing them up to my lips, “open your mouth.”he says.

i obliged without hesitation taking his fingers into my mouth, cringing at the taste of myself on his fingers.

next he lets go of my hair, using his now free left hand to pull his plaid pajama pants and boxers down just enough for his dripping with pre-cum-cock to spring out then also helping me pull my shorts and panties down.

“be a good girl hm?”he groans ready to just to cum right on the stop its been so long without feeling my pussy around his cock, he needed it badly.he aligns himself near my entrance, teasing his tip along my pussy before slowly sliding himself inside.

we both moaned at the sensation god how i missed this feeling.

he continued filling me up inch by inch soon bottoming out, giving me a moment to adjust to his thick length.he then began to thrust inside at a steady pace moans both escaping from our lips.

“mmh-god your so mmf-fucking tight!”he gasped feeling my walls clenching and gripping around his cock, this adds fuel to his fire causing him to build up his pace to a more harsher and aggressive one.

“missed mm-this fucking pussy so goddamn mmugh-much!” he mumbles in between his moans and loud groans.

“j-just like thatmmh!”

“oh your such a g-good little gmh-girl!”

“mmh!you feel so good baby uugh!”

“gonna cum all i-inside you mmhm!”

we continued encouraging each-other throughout, the sound of skin slapping soon filled the room along with our moans, the neighbors were sure to have heard by now.but we didn’t care, our pleasure and the heat of the moment just too much for us to give a single fuck.

suddenly toms moans and thrusts became more urgent and aggressive i could tell and feel his orgasm was coming in any second now same as mine.

“cmon b-baby cum all inside my-mmh pussy!”i encouraged, wanting to feel all of his seed paint my walls completely white.

“oh you w-want me to mmugh-cum all inside you?!”he groaned his breathing becoming more intense and ragged.

“o-oh baby cum with me!”i urgently demanded feeling my orgasm just right at the edge, with a primal and loud grunt toms seed quickly began spraying my insides.he continued breeding his seed inside me as i began to reach orgasm as well, my juices suddenly spilling down my thighs.

we both rode out our delicious highs before soon coming back to reality after a few final thrusts, tom slides out with a sound of a pop out of me seeing the sight of our mixed liquids spilling out of my cunt.

“you still mad at me?” he chuckled breathlessly.

“no not anymore baby.”i reply turning around swiftly to face him, his eyes now meeting mine.

“good, next time we fight i just have to fuck it outta’ you right?”

“oh shut up!”

“oh you know you love me liebe (love).”he said with a soft grin, his eyes glimmering with that post-nut glow (you know what im talking about).

“you know i do babe.”i answered leaning in closer placing a soft kiss on his lips the first one in what seemed like forever.

THE END

[gh0stly-mp3]

sing along! -> bllk hcs pt.1

bllk characters headcanons

synopsis: assigning a song to some of the bllk characters / recommending you a song that reminds me of some of the bllk characters

tags: blue lock headcanons, bllk songs, music hcs

warnings: mature language (in some songs), loud music

characters: first selection introduced + rin

a/n: hi! i hope you guys like this type of post, its something that i've been thinking nonstop and wanted to share (part 2 might be up tomorrow)!

masterlist.

Y. Isagi -> Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart

"There's some kind of burning inside me It's kept me from falling apart And I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart But it's kept me from falling apart"

Meguru Bachira -> Love, Me Normally

"I was nothing before, so I couldn't have asked to be born I'll be nothing again, so what am I between now and then? Is there nothing to fear? 'Cause shit's getting weird"

*actually, for bachira, all will wood songs count

Hyoma Chigiri -> No Wind Resistance!

"I'll bet ya I can run faster with no wind resistance I'll fly under no conditions Teach myself complete submission While I grant myself complete permission"

Rensuke Kunigami -> I'm Still Standing

"Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life, without you on my mind I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah"

Gin Gagamaru -> Dead Weight

"Got everything I need (haha, yeah) Clothes on my back The wind on my teeth What I control is in me"

Shoei Barou -> Make Way For The King

"Say I walk like a king (walk) Talk like a king (talk) You can ask around now say the same thing They chasing the fame They don't want the name But they ain't got what's running through these veins Make way for the king"

Seishiro Nagi -> Notion

"I'm sure there won't always be sunshine But there's this momentary beam of light You don't have to wait those salty decades To get through the gate, it's all in front of your face"

Reo Mikage -> I Cant Handle Change

"I can't help but repeat myself I know it's not your fault Still lately, I begin to shake For no reason at all"

Ikki Niko -> Blow My Brains Out

"Sometimes I wish I could lend you my ears Lend you my thoughts and lend you my tears Sometimes I wish I could take a new form Switch out some parts and become like the norm"

Rin Itoshi -> No Suprises

"A heart that's full up like a landfill A job that slowly kills you Bruises that won't heal You look so tired, unhappy"

[tagapagsalaysay]

the heaviest 1k resist spoilers, cw: sexual violence mentioned

im still trying to wrap my mind about iris and the keeper. Because even with the nuance it still swings back and forth between sexual abuse and toxic relationship. But also you have the excuse of how aliens simply cant operate on the level of humanity no matter how hard they tried. Its also in the vein of that alien trope where humans interacting with aliens inevitably end up in a misunderstanding that turns into violence etc.

I want to consider the possibility that communions are very very vulnerable to misinterpretation and/or becoming an unreliable narrator type as depicted, and how Youngest might have interpreted her first sex ed talk and when she saw Iris communing with the keepers as like oh theyre fucking.

Is communion a one to one comparison to sex is kind of the funniest sentence to conjure but its still so tricky because of all the definitions. Even in the name its like. It is intimate and sharing memories but the clones don't necessarily view it as sex.

This shit is so hard to wrap my head around considering the inception aspect of the narrative but you get the gist. And its also funny that the game riffs off itself for cultivating this level of discussion. But also i just wanna sort shit out. That one review/advice article was right about making a journal for this game because you need to remember SO MUCH to keep track of imagery and parallels

[ruinmegently]

— CREATURE

/* Ramattra and Genji have a moment. */

"We are brothers in our oppression, if not in our ideologies."

"Yet you still call him brother."

The creature cants his head, peering at Genji as if the cyborg is a worm struggling in the dirt — dragged up by a heavy rain.

That is what Genji has taken to calling this beast of war. Creature. Not because of Ramattra's machinery or metal parts or rogue coils, but for the tint of the soul simmering wildly beneath those wires. The omnic sits in a meditative pose, bound by tight hardlight restraints that light the dark room with a faint teal glow. Stuck to the cement floor. Yet Genji feels small when pinned by that rough gaze.

"Your point, cyborg."

He could, maybe, pace. Be loose and liquid. Cocky, like Cassidy who'd entered the cell with a cigar and a swagger. Or Dr. Ziegler, stiff and no-nonsense and somehow far more spooky than Genji remembered her. His peers had pressed for knowledge about Null Sector's future plans and found only resistance against metal.

But Genji isn't here to interrogate.

He sits cross-legged in front of the Ravager. Elbows anchored on knees, chin resting between his palms. So small in the shadow of an omnic forced to bend.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Genji asks after a long moment of silence. Ramattra only stares. "I could ... bring you a pillow?"

"I have no need for your supplications."

Genji raises a brow. Supplications — as if, even imprisoned, Ramattra believes he holds a power worthy enough to make his captors grovel. Or, no. Not power.

Conviction.

Speaking of which.

Genji digs into the deep pocket of his hoodie and pulls out a single metallic orb. It hums with yellow light running through its intricately carved veins. The omnic before him tenses, like a widening of eyes.

"He wanted you to have this."

"I have no—"

"No need for it, yes. I told him you would say something like that."

But still, Genji places the orb on the ground and rolls it forward. It crosses the space between them and bops Ramattra on the knee.

The creature can neither accept nor deny the gift, arms restrained. His head tilts down to stare at it instead.

"It is an orb of har—"

"I know what it is."

Where others might see silence in the eerily still way Ramattra holds himself, Genji has spent enough time living with the Shambali monks to recognize the language of despair.

"Why did he not bring it himself?"

"I think you know the answer to that, too."

Genji unfurls, rising with practiced grace. He turns to leave the cell.

"What," Ramattra calls after him, voice a hateful, smooth rumble. "No questions on what I plan to do to you, your friends, your kind?"

The cyborg doesn't pause until he reaches the door, fingers on its handle.

"You would never hurt him, would you?"

"Explain."

"Zenyatta. You stand on opposing sides, but you would never hurt him."

If Genji senses confusion from the predator he's turned his back on, he doesn't speak word of it.

"Of course not," Ramattra says. "He is my brother."

A laugh spills from Genji like a bark. Harsh. Cold. He shakes his head. Tugs on the handle.

"I'll get you a pillow," he says, pulling the door shut behind him.

[imagineswriting47]

You Can't Save Me

Prologue

A/N: This is for the Anon that asked Hi! Could you write something (can be 1-2 chapters if you like♡) with the reader being a demon and helping the Winchesters (they aren't happy about it) but (not at the same time) they fall for her, and she plays with them knowing that. The boys keep "the relationship" secret from each other (Dean doesn't know about SamxReader, and Sam doesn't know about DeanxReader). What Reader likes about Dean is his broken will. And about Sam, that can't resist temptation. She loves to tease the hunters.

All mistakes are mine and mine alone

Summary: The Reader is a Demon, and the boys and Cas are trying to save her. But she doesn't want to be saved.

Pairings: None

Screaming in pain as the holy water is thrown in my face. I wipe my face before lunging at Dean, wrapping my hands around his throat. Killing the Winchesters, we'll be the best thing that I will ever do. Dean manages to punch me in my face. I can feel the bone-crunching where his fist meets the bone. The blood immediately starts running from my nose. 

"Come on, little Winchester, is that all you got." I laugh as I wipe the blood from my face. "This is your doing, you know. I would blame you, but becoming a Demon is the best thing that ever happened to me." I tell him as we circle each other. 

"This isn't you, Y/N!" Dean says as Sam runs into the room. Fighting both of them isn't easy with me down on my knees; I expect them to kill me, but they put the Demon cuffs on me, and a bag is thrown over my head.

"Cas, get your ass down here!" Dean yells out before everything goes black. Everything is still dark when I hear voices in the room with me. It takes me a moment to make out what they are saying, and I can't help laughing when I do.

"Help me! You cant help me now, Sam! This is what I was always meant to be. I'm finally free for the first time; I am free and able to be me!" The bag over my head is pulled off, and the light in the room is blinding momentarily before the boys and Cas come into focus. I can feel the dried blood on my face pull as I smile at them. 

"This isn't you, Y/N," Cas says in his deep voice as the boys move around me. I know they plan something, but I am not reading for the burning pain as a needle is shoved into my skin. So I dont make a noise as the lava runs in my veins. Instead, I stare at Dean and Sam, defiant of what they are doing to me. They are trying to cure the demon out of me. Then let the battle begin. 

"It isn't working, Sam!" I hear Dean yell from somewhere in the Bunker. The cure isn't working as they planned. I don't want to be saved, and they will pay for what they have done. 

"You did this!" I finally yell as I pull the chains from the wall. Riping the shackles off my wrists. Alarms start blaring the moment the door is pulled off its hinges. "Let the games begin>" I whisper to myself as I walk down the hall. I don't expect to hear the sound of fighting and guns.

Sam and Dean are beaten bloody, and Cas is lying on the floor, not moving. I see red. I might be a Demon, but no one gets to kill them but me. Killing those that have broken into the Bunker is almost child's play, and before they know what hit them, the intruders are dead, and Dean and Sam are standing there staring at me. 

"Only I get to kill you," I tell the both of them with a smile.

A/N: Please leave a heart and a reblog! Let me know what you think!

[wumpyprincessdrea]

Taglist

@theres-whump-in-that-nebula

Hi everyone! This is another segment of my current project, The Light of the New Moon! If you would like to be added to a taglist for future posts on this topic, please either reblog or message me!

The Light of the New Moon

(Cw: violence, medical trauma, needles)

Pt 2

Nocturna strained against the chains and leather straps holding her in place. She feared what was to come, soon she would experience the searing fire coursing through her veins.   The anticipation of the barbarism caused her to tremble with trepidation.  A woman entered the room with a glass syringe containing a violaceous liquid. She set it down on a tray, acknowledged Nocturna with a nod and began jotting down notes in a journal.  

The woman then rummaged through a chest of drawers and gathered additional impliments, first aid supplies, a knife, and various other tools.    Nocturna was petrified knowing what was to come.  The woman then spoke,  "Now, I suggest you cooperate.  You've done this every week since you came of age.  You know precisely why we are doing it.  Have you forgotten that I am giving you a gift?!"

Nocturna steadied herself and then spoke.  "Yes... but....the aconite burns is all.   I can't handle it."

The woman chortled not seeming to care.   "Oh hunny, you and I both know that it can do much worse than that.  This is to prevent such a tragedy from occurring.   Can you tell me why, we are doing this for you?"

The woman paused, waiting for a response.

While the woman was making sense, Nocturna was starting to lose her mind, trembling over what was to come.

"Y-yes. My father chose me, because I am u-unique. He sees me as his personal weapon, a tool.  He is doing this to see how I can endure it, to determine if he can do it to the rest of us. This is a gift, because most cant survive wounds inflicted by a weapon tainted by this poison.  He hopes that through this hellish experimentation, we can find a way to form immunity to it and to decrease the excrutiating effects. Eventually while we may still experience the pain, it will not kill us.

Nocturna inhaled and exhaled sharply.  

The woman smiled, satisfied. 

"Then we understand each other. I know that this is an excrutiating process for you. I wish for all of our sakes I could do something to help with the agony.   However, I need to know how this procedure affects you. Analgesia will ruin my precious data.   The data is important so I can find ways to make this process easier for all of us.  Just remember, when we complete this,nothing will stand in your way. Think of the pain you experience today as a relief for another time.  I truly am sorry that I have to hurt you in order to find out more."

She approached Nocturna with the needle containing the purple liquid. It was clear that Nocturna did not want this. She continued trembling and whimpering, but was failing to maintain composure. 

The woman ignored Nocturna's protesting and began examining her neck, looking for the perfect place to administer the toxin. Nocturna inhaled and begain to hyperventilate, terrified.  She turned her head accepting her fate, tears begain to form in her eyes as she squeezed her eyes shut.   The woman began pressing on various parts of her neck to locate her vein.   She nodded to herself once satisfied. Holding the vein in place with a finger.

"Please, try to relax. I know it is going hurt, but if you resist, you know it will be much worse. Do whatever you need to do to stay comfortable.  I don't mind if you need to cry or scream."

At her words, Nocturna began to sob, her anxiety filling her, doing her best to comply.  Nocturna completely froze as the woman slowly inserted the needle. The woman drew the fluid back in the syringe and sighed, redirecting it to its proper place, despite Nocturna's protesting.

"Im so sorry.....it moved on me, there we go."  

Nocturna growled wanting to strike the woman but remembered that she couldnt.

She slowly injected the poison into Nocturna.    Nocturna became tense as the woman continued. 

"There.   Was it really that bad?"

Nocturna was in too much pain to speak, her body shaking while wracked with pain.    The aconite began coursing through her causing Nocturna to strain against the chains that bound her, crying out as her binds cut into her flesh. She opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out.   She looked over at the woman with pleading eyes.

"P-please..... I can't..... No more!" Nocturna whined as she pulled against the chains.  Her body quaked as the liquid seared through her body. Nocturna screamed uncontrollably as her body became incredibly tense with anguish.  It felt as if liquid fire was coursing through her. She was becoming frantic for relief.  

The woman acted as if Nocturna hadnt said anything and continued to watch as she scrawled on the pages of her notebook. 

"I see that you arent tolerating that very well.  Can you tell me where you are hurting? Please tell me so that I can help you and others."

Nocturna's body continued to resist against the restraints that held her. It was too much. She was left unable to speak.   She glared at the woman helplessly. Finally catching her breath.  Her breathing was labored, but at last she was able to force herself to tolerate it.  She had a defeated expression on her face, it had finally broken her.   "I hurt everywhere." She managed to choke out. 

The woman walked towards her.and stood before Nocturna, their eyes were at the same level.  

"It will. But look, you did it. You were able to harness the pain instead of allowing the inner monster to devour you. Now that you can breathe, please tell me, what did you experience? Please tell me how you felt from your head to your feet."

Nocturna winced, inhaling deeply and slowly began to speak.

"At first, I felt intense burning where I was stuck.   I could feel it spreading to my chest and my heart. The searing pain then spread throughout my entire body.   Like I was being internally slashed.  Then, I couldnt breathe. I thought I was going to die. "

Nocturna groaned as she steadied herself again.   The room was blurry.   She had trouble making out the woman in front of her. 

"I... I can't see!"  

She cried out as the loss of vision was enough to disoriente her enough to take away her focus.. Nocturna frantically looked around the room to no avail.   The woman spoke again.

"Nocturna", she crooned.

"Work with me here, can you breathe with me?" 

Nocturna grimaced with a nod, steadying herself despite being unable to see.   The woman sat in front of her.

"I know you are scared and in pain beyond one can imagine. But try to remember that it is temporary.   While there is no antidote, it will pass.  

Nocturna spoke through gritted teeth.

"I......KNOW...THAT!  But... when!?"

The woman sighed.

"I don't know, but last time we used a lower dose and it took 5 hours to regain clairity. Prior to that it took 4. Given that information, my guess is that it will take 6."

She pulled a lever and then walked around behind Nocturna.   She pulled down against the structure that supported her so that Nocturna lay flat. The woman then moved her chair and sat next to Nocturna's head.

"I can tell you this. While I cannot tell you how long it will last, I can tell you that you wont be alone.  I will stay here with you.   She took a glass of water and offered it to Nocturna.  

"Here.   Drink, it is only water."

Nocturna slowly drank the liquid and then closed her eyes, exhausted from her turmoil, her chest heaved with every breath. 

"Yes, that's right, try to rest. If you are resting, it may not be quite as painful."

Nocturna looked about the room in a state of delirium.  Everything was blurry, too blurry to form any shapes. She shivered softly.   "I'm.....c-cold....."  

The woman covered Nocturna with a warm blanket and softly massaged the sides of her head. 

"There.... you will warm up in time. I suggest you keep your eyes closed.   It may help with the disorientation.  Your sight will come back as this passes.  Why not try and sleep.  I promise I will not leave.  I'll be here when you wake up."

Nocturna closed her eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep, finally fully relaxing under the woman's touch.

[acaciapines]

number 25? :point right point left:

like last time, discussion below the cut!

25. Landslide – Fleetwood Mac

“does this make us a different person, now?”

luz pauses in her digging at hunter’s question, trowel held just above the ground. “why do you ask that?”

hunter shrugs. he’s a maned wolf today, like mari, who rests her chin on his shoulder and whuffs gentle support. “dunno. this is what brought us together, isn’t it? flapjack couldn’t resist hiding it.”

hunter’s tail wags. luz is pretty sure that one’s entirely flapjack.

“i think we’re supposed to be different.” luz turns to look at the last bit of palistrom wood, that gift the palistrom tree gave her, so long ago. it breathes, still, the rise and fall of golden veins embedded within. “maybe this is a good thing.”

“i’m going to miss you.”

luz snorts, punching hunter gentle, but she lingers her hand there, petting his head. mari turns cardinal, flutters up to perch on his muzzle, and hunter and flapjack watch them cross-eyed. “i’m not going anywhere, dummy.” she smooths down his fur. “but yeah. i’ll miss you, too.”

DISCUSSION

a fun fact about me is whenever i want to Feel Things i do just listen to landslide lol. anyways onto actually talking about what i wrote here.

somehow every single part of this piece is like. epilogue material there is SO. there is SO MUCH HAPPENING <3 i think this is when i actually felt like sketching out a possible ending for the entire series lol.

first off! hunter and flapjack are sharing a body, here...im still not 100% sure what im gonna do about that time in s3e1 where flapjack dies, like, literally it could be anything (hunter might die instead, flapjack still dies but they dont share a body, they do share a body, they do but cant talk. etc etc etc) but i do think them sharing a body n both being able to communicate is where im still leaning towards. i just. flapjack cant die forever thats my silly guy.

second! the palistrom wood is what hunter gets instead of flapjack (since he'll have flapjack from the start, daemon au n all). and it is the reason luz and hunter are all wrapped up as the same person for a long long while there. ive always had in my mind that this story ends with them planting the palistrom wood, and it can grow into the first of a new era of palistrom trees, heralding a new era of the isles w/out belos...no matter what, this IS the scene the story will end on, however we get there.

but its also sort of hunter and luz giving up on their identity as one very weird person. probably the healthier choice in the long run, but, yknow. it's a big choice to make. things will be different. it'll take time for them to be good.

but they're GOING to be good. they really, really are.

[onedayatatime-please]

Saturday, Jan. 18th, 2025. 9:19 PM

It's been a while.

I saw a man speak today, he was a part of the Black Panthers back in the 60's and was arrested during this time. He spoke beautifully on the importance of community and self care in the revolution. He spoke about how the greatest enemy of the resistance is not the institution, it is the demons within the self which force us into hatred and isolation.

The event he was speaking at was in honor of someone who was murdered by the police two years ago. I did not know this person, but my friend at the time did. I went to this event somewhat spontaneously so I did not know it was for this person until this man started speaking. I was very suddenly hit with this great ache at realizing how much time has passed since this persons death and everything that has happened between now and then. When they were murdered my friend showed up at my front door and I held her while she seized and cried and we went together to a vigil where I prayed with the persons parents and loved ones. At the time, because I did not know the person, I did not find it in myself to grieve them beyond the grief of the community - and I stood there not necessarily for them, but for my friends who were deep in grief.

The brother of my partner at the time passed away soon after that, and in a similar vein, I did not grieve him. I had never met him. But I carried the grief of my partner with me to try and ease some of the weight on them. It did not strike me until tonight how much being witness to that grief has affected me.

Now I think about how many times I have been witness to extreme grief, and shouldered it as a part of the community, but never have been able to actually hold it and touch it.

When I was eleven, and children across America were being gunned down in schools, and my classmates and I walked into the street and participated in a die-in. This was just weeks after a shooter had attempted to enter our school after killing two people in the street.

When i was thirteen and my friend came running to me sobbing because their friend I did not know committed suicide.

Watching the father of my childhood best friend die of cancer.

The grief these people experienced changed them, and we grew apart. I don't have anyone from when I was young. Im not sure why, I don't think it is only the grief. They changed, but so did I.

I changed so much I often look back on my writing and can't recognize the words. its like its in a different language.

i dont know what to make of the grief I have felt in my life. I dont know what to make of how much grief other people have felt. I dont know how it has affected me I just know that it has.

I know that I mourn the people who are no longer in my life, but I dont think I want to have them in my life. Not really. I think I mourn the time of my life that we spent together.

I am afraid of being left behind.

My ex partner was at this talk, we have no seen each other in several months and it was strange. I have been meaning to reach out but I have been too afraid. I have been afraid to discover that he has moved on completely and that our relationship did not mean as much to him as it did to me. Of course I know this is not the truth, he told me so. And I know the reason that we have not spoken in some time is because his life is a mess, and mine is busy. And I am at my best when I am hiding from things.

The longer I allow myself to forget our relationship the more I truly forget it. But i dont want to forget it. Sometimes I feel like him as a person and the past three years of my life have been erased. I cant let that happen.

I do not want to be with him anymore, but I wont let myself lose another person. I know how much I would regret it, i already am regretting it.

He is doing well, I am proud of him. He organized this talk and its the kind of thing he used to dream about doing. He would tell me all about his plans for organization and it took him two years but he did it. I walked in that room and it was like walking into the thing we had envisioned together.

He was holding hands with someone else, and that hurt. I cant locate why it hurt or where, but it did. I think it hurts in my stomach. I dont think its jealousy, that doesnt feel right. I think that a part of me hurts when I see him flourish socially, because it is something i have never been able to do. I know that when we stopped dating, he gained several partners almost immediately, meanwhile in all of these months I have only been interested in one other person, and it took me months to ask her out, and she rejected me. I crave the kind of emotional intimacy that comes with a partnership very deeply, i feel like I was made to have a person.

I cant explain it, but i really feel built to hold someone, to cook for someone, I think I was born to marry. Maybe not literally, but emotionally. To have that one person who I am devoted to as a lover and a caretaker. I crave it constantly. He never wanted that. He wants casual and quick and firey, and he fills those needs so easily. I think if it is jealousy, that is what I am jealous of. He knows how to get what he wants. I dont mean that in a negative way.

He is able to see the strings connecting everyone and dance on them light tightropes.

I cannot.

When I see people in a crowd it is just dark murky water, and Im either swimming with my eyes closed or treading water on the surface, trying to catch my breath.

I just want somebody. I dont know who they are or how to find them but I want them badly.

I tried to make him into that somebody, and it was like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

I want to be better than I am. i think im getting there.

i dont know where i started with this or where it has gone but I dont want to write anymore.

im not dead yet, i will do my best to keep it that way

[ariswolfram]

Unraveling the Mind

Life had been a blur for months now. Or had it been years?

I don't know.

Everything feels meaningless. Its all just repetitive. Its all the same.

Im not strong enough to handle those big jobs where you work on buildings or go into the army. I cant handle customer service otherwise ill get yelled at. I cant handle anything. I cant handle anything.

Im spiraling, i can feel my spirit untangling, i feel like im losing track of myself.

My head is full of shadows, and I've lost my way home...

Lost... lost...

Lost... lost lost lost lost lost...

... where am i?

... i don't remember this street, does that say republic?

I don't live near republic, i live near latigo... how did i end up this far from home, it wasnt meant to be this long of a walk...

Theres a building up ahead anyways, looks like church... wonderful, i walked here as a natural reaction to being sad...........

I make my way inside, tears numbly falling down my cheeks without any resistance. I don't even try to hide it.

I sit on a bench near the back rows and press my head into my arms.

The priest is talking about some stuff and things, though i am not in the right headspace to pay attention... why did i even come here to begin with?

... oh right, i lost my way home.

... lost my way to a home i cant even pay the taxes for.

Lovely.

Its all coming back again.

For a moment there, i thought my stress was gone but no, its not.

Fucking hell, im a mess. No one likes a mess.

I sit up and lean my head back far enough to see everything upside down, looking at the seats behind me.

I notice a set of beautiful green gems, and stare at them. Its almost captivating, their color. Their glisten.

They look like emeralds, polished into perfect spheres with thin strips of black in them to make it look like some draconic eyes.

They blink.

... they are eyes.

The man clears his throat, i flip around and look at him properly. This man is fucking tall holy shit-

Must be 10 or 11 feet at best. A fucking mountain-

I remain quiet and keep staring, not exactly knowing what to do. He has pretty scales though, i will say that. A shimmering black, with some parts having streaks and lines of silver. Some of these lines join up at the joints and claws, making it look like veins of some sort.

"Uh.... hello?"

His voice sends shivers down my spine, it was... expectedly deep. I look back up at his eyes before i accidentally look any further down his form, "Im sorry... i didn't realize you were there..."

"... you were uh... staring at me for... a while-..."

"I was-? I hadn't realized..." i smile weakly. Its hard to hide my emotions at the moment-

He looks at me. A mix of pity and... something else shown on his face, i cant quite pinpoint the other emotion, "Poor thing.... why were you crying, if i may ask?"

"Oh uh... its just........ stress." Dont trauma dump to a stranger. No one wants to hear that.

"I see... okay..."

He speaks again after a moments pause, though im not exactly paying attention to it. Ive got more important things in front of me...

He repeats himself. I should probably listen...

...

"Sir?"

"Sorry what?"

"I was asking your name-"

"Oh- right- uh- im uh- Heilbov-" I shake myself awake and look away from the eternal prison that is that beast of a man's eyes.

"... im Namill..."

The beast is called Namill. Thats not leaving my mind anytime soon, wonderful! I LOVE THIS AHHAAHA HELP ME DEAR GOD WHY-

"Nice to- meet you-" NO, "... Uh..." I just met this guy, please don't say anything stupid... i dont want to say something and scare him off, he seems like a good friend.

"Is... something the matter...?" He looks suspicious. Quick, say something to calm the situation!

"Uhm... would you mind if i sit next to you?" WHAT THE FUCK, THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO SAY!

"Oh... yea i... dont mind..." He shuffles to the side and pats the cushion next to him, "Here..."

... I wasn't expecting that to actually fucking work, holy shit-

Though this man has no interest in me at all. It's obvious he is just feeling sorry for me.

Either way, he is nice...

I realize i was staring in stunned silence again, so i get up and sit next to him.

He is so fucking huge... what does he eat to maintain all of that? A whole ass cow? Maybe other dragons— no that's cannibalism. He isn't a cannibal... im saying that so confidently as if i know him personally. Hah, fun.

I cant pay attention to a single word anyone is saying either, nothing is coming across.

I try my best, but its just not sticking.

I look up at Namill, he keeps speaking to me, i just nod and say “yea”, which seems to please him as he keeps talking. His voice is nice

Is the room hot? Why is the room hot?

This man wont stop talking either oh my god, what is he even saying??

"—and so Optimus Prime is naturally a pacifist. That doesn't make sense given the fact he is the leader of some warriors and stuff, but he actively tries to avoid fighting when its not necessary. Though this doesn't mean he is afraid of fighting, no no no—"

When did we get on the topic of optimus prime? And why is the room so hot oh my god! Im practically burning up...

But man am i tired as well... and he is still talking.

Honestly though, that is the only thing keeping me from losing my shit right now. Thats not odd to say right? His voice is grounding me i guess?

...

Yea... its fine...

...

...

...

...

I sit up. I dozed for a second there.

Im not about to fall asleep next to this hulk of a man. No way.

I close my eyes and lean to the side, feeling a pillow

... I think i may take a moment and rest on it though, that wont hurt anyone... i wonder who donated them... whoever did is nice...

... despite my best efforts, i fall asleep.

***

I had been talking about the transformers for a while here, i almost forgot where we were up until the moment something pressed against my arm.

I pause for a moment and look... it is Heilbov, passed out. Resting against my arm...

... what-

Am i just stuck here now? Is this like those cat rules, where when a cat has laid down on your lap you are stuck in that position forever until they move?

... i don't have forever. And im pretty sure its not cat rules either. This man is light as fuck, and im pretty sure he will remain asleep even if i leave.

But wait, thats a problem. I cant leave him here... i mean, no one will steal from him in the presence of god, but people may do other things... i dont even know where he lives anyways. What am i supposed to do, bring him home?

... home is a mess. I only got my bed...

... i have the couch as well, i can set that up for him. Just for a night, yes... i just don't want to leave an unconscious male man person man out in the wild where conscious people can just snatch him.

I carefully pick him up, then stand. As expected, he remains asleep.

I begin to make my way back home. It was getting dark anyways.

The way he was looking at me earlier said everything as well. Poor dude is exhausted... i bet he didnt even understand a thing i said. I shouldn't be speaking that much to anyone i just met anyways, its rude. He probably thought it was annoying.

I'll apologize when he wakes up...

This feels like kidnapping... am i kidnapping him??

... no, kidnapping insinuates the imprisonment of someone. Im not trapping him in my home, im just letting him rest there.

But what if he thinks its weird? I dont want to make him uncomfortable...

... says the person literally cradling him in his arms. What the fuck?

I walk up my steps and open the door. All of the piles of magazines, action figures, and other things line the place. Some of the things are very slightly out of order, hence the massive mess (Namill's home is perfectly clean and tidy. He thinks its a mess due to the fact its slightly unorganized).

I lay Heilbov down on the couch, and find a large blanket to rest over him.

I put a pillow behind his head, and turn off the lights.

... what the fuck am i doing?

I swear this is some cliché love story shit...

... is Millenium fucking with me? Amarei? This is her fault. How dare you.

I swore i hear a giggle just now... a very quiet one at that... she heard me...

... i make my way to my bed and crawl in... hopefully i wake up before he does. Don't want to make him uncomfortable....

... he already will be... fuck.

[im-a-moldy-bread]

HAPPY EXISTENCE DAY

♡ angst ♡ not proof read ♡ slight gore for sensitive readers ( like a grain of sand ) ♡ not really accurate to lore ♡ ooc

Artist on twitter: Elico79068549

"Scara, today is my birthday!"

"Ah you mean that day where humans celebrate their first day of worthless and mundane existence despite their creation being of no effort of their own?"

"Yes, but it's also to celebrate the fact that you're able to live to this age happy and healthy, for the people around you to be joyful about your presence in their life!"

"How utterly useless, as all humans traditions"

"Eh I guess I should just jump off a cliff right now then since you clearly aren't happy with my existence"

His eyes shot up, he didn't expect you to take it that badly. Panic start running in his veins.

"AHAHAHAHA I'm joking of course. Here, I saved a piece of the birthday cake for you! You're okay with vanilla flavour, right?"

"It doesn't matter to me what flavour it is."

Despite his hesitancy, he took the cake from your hand.

"It taste..decent enough."

"I know you would like it! Enjoy the cake! I'm going to go ham on the booze, cya!"

"HEY I NEVER SAID I LIKED IT, AND DONT DRINK TOO MUCH YOU- *Bam* idiot..."

the door shut on your departure

" *sigh * I will take care of her later"

Scaramouche returned to his paperwork as the next day arrives. That was how you spend your first birthday with him.

=================================

=================================

You guys were taking a stroll down the street. Well, it's more like you pushed him out the office to accompany you to your whimps.

"Y/N I STILL HAVE WORK TO DO!"

"Indeed, and one of them is seeing the streets with me. Hurry now, we're going to miss the fireworks!"

"What reasoning is that? Wha-"

You hold his hand and ran before letting him finishing his sentence (most likely another insult). Scaramouche give up on resisting. He doesn't know what get you so excited, but he is used to falling for your sudden nature by now. He stared at your back, at your hair that bounce up and down as you ran, at your jumpy happiness that he wants to keep all to himself, at you, all of you.

Suddenly you stopped in yout tracks.

"Scara look!!!!" You points upwards.

Fireworks of different colour set ablaze high up in the nightsky. Like a thousands different kind of fiery flowers.

The moonlight shine delicately on your face, as the reds, the blues, the greens pop up and went out.

He wanted to burn this sight into his memories, into his eternity.

You look back at him.

"Sorry, I wanted to spend my birthday with you this year but I could only force you out of your office. Otherwise you won't come at all!"

You pout, holding scaramouche hands more tightly than ever.

Maybe you're just as afraid of losing him as he is of you.

"Happy existence day, y/n."

He let out without a thought. His voice was soft. And you knew it was for your ears only.

"Its happy birthday stupid."

He deadpanned.

"Fine, I take it back."

"HEY NO BACKSIES! Plus I would pay you one million to say it again!"

"Then... I shall say it to you next year too."

"Ehh i cant wait that long! Ahh dear Barbatos please let time past faster."

"Pfttt impatient as always hahaha."

"I can't help it. NEXT YEAR, COME SOONER!!"

You shouted.

Your smile is brighter than the moon, he thought. Its funny how you get so excited about the simplest of things, he thought. I wish you stayed that way forever, he thought.

==================================================================

Scaramouche just return from his expedition.

He's holding a letter you wrote just yesterday, filled with honey laced words , bunch of I miss you, I love you and lastly a "I wanted to see you again ░▒▓██▓▒░". And at the end of the letter, your signature and the date.

Ah it's that day again. Perhaps that why you both were longing for each other so much eventhough you guys had only been three days apart.

He remembered humans have tradition of giving gifts on birthdays. He himself have readied your gift a few weeks ago. A of custom made pendant, made by the most renowned blacksmiths in teyvat, reminiscent of the fireworks and fake stars you both seen together last year.

He spare no time and hurried to your residence. With no second waste, he arrived at your door. He took a deep breath, mustered up every bit of emotion in his body and knock before opening the door.

"HAPPY EXISTENCE DAY, Y/N!"

However, his short lived excitement was responded with silence. Knowing y/n, they most likely is celebrating in their room with their friends. He didn't like the idea of not being the first to wish them on this special day, but he miss them too much to care. He expected your loud voice filled with joy, but as always, you surpass his expectations. Your corpse lay limp as you hang from the ceiling, skin white as the snezhnaya snow,

Scaramouche stood still, he froze in place as his eyes examine and take in every part of your corpse. Then, he hug you, hug you so tightly blood started oozing out of your cutted wounds and one might think your bone shattered.

He wanted to hold your hand one last time, but it was clenching something you refused to let go even after you died. A sticky note, messily written.

"I wanted to see you again before I go. Wish me happy birthday will ya?"

He hooked the pendant to your flesh.

"Happy existence day, y/n. May it corrodes with you."

He didn't cry. He didn't laugh. He was emotionless. This void appeared in his hollow husk once again.

Once more, I've been tainted by worldly filth

My 4th betrayal was a heart, a lover.

Surrounded by sorrow and grief, they seek to run away from the prison of their mind, robbing my torso central cog and leaving me behind to rot.

___________________________________________

E N D

___________________________________________

A fic to myself 30102022

[sheepcritters]

no because. the personal hc i have for s9!grian and his sculk infection makes scar hawkeyeing him constantly a lot sadder

as well as spreading on his skin, its entered his veins. if something pierces a vein and he dies it will spread in that area. so scar hits him in the eye, he dies, he wakes up, and the right side of his face is covered in it (hence why my s9 grian wears a bandage).

it will spread otherwise but deaths and injuries speed up the process by a lot

so it's like scar is killing him and corrupting him slowly and grian cant even tell him because the thing that's causing it is his urge to resist the king and scars in the kings court. deep down he knows scar would understand, hes just afraid and oh y god

[bakugousleftnipple]

Slow hands pt 2 | Bakugou x reader

Summary: continues where slow hands left off, soulmate au where your soulmate knows when you’re masturbating

Warnings: masturbation, bakugou cant help but nut at the speed of light, pussy owning reader

part 1 here

Word count: 900

The crease in between your eyebrows becomes more pronounced as Bakugou’s rough fingers run along a vein on the underside of his cock.

“Somethin’ a matter, sweetheart?”

Shaking your head, “Nuh, I-“ Your hiss cuts you off as Bakugou squeezes the base of his cock. With a cocky smirk on his face, he watches as you struggle to find grasp on the situation.

“C’mon. What’s another? This ain’t even close to your personal record in one night.”

He watches you avoiding his gaze through the screen and a gasp falls from his lips this time, feeling the ever so familiar sensation he’s been feeling all damn day.

“Well it definitely beats your record of zero,” a cocky grin tugs at your lips, making him roll his eyes.

“Keep it up princess.” Tossing his phone aside as he quickly gets dressed, he informs you, “I’ll be there in five. You better be ready.”

-

Before you can greet him, his lips are on yours as he kicks the door shut behind him. As your lips meet, a sensation bubbles up in both of you. Although you have had your share of kisses, none of them could compare with one with your soulmate. Pure adoration and lust mix, drawing you in.

Grabbing your ass, Bakugou pulls you up and you hook your legs around his waist, gasping as he drags you against the bulge in his pants.

“Shitty woman, look what you’ve done.” He growls as he parts from your lips. “Gonna stuff your greedy cunt til you can’t walk.”

“Promise?”

He bites your shoulder, hard, causing you to squeak in surprise. “Don’t fuckin’ talk back.”

You can feel the bite of his fingers digging into your flesh as he struts to your bedroom, tossing you on the mattress with ease. Huffing out an indignant breath, you glare up at your soulmate. Bakugou smirks down at you.

“You can’t pretend you aren’t ready after hours of playin with your pussy.” Arching an eyebrow, he straddles your hips.

“Can’t help it,” the whine falls from your lips. “Need you, Bakugou.” Laughing at you, he slips your panties off, “Yeah, sure seems like it.” Lifting the soaking material to his nose, he frees his cock from his pants with a hiss.

“Gonna be a good girl and take my cock?” He finds no resistance when he pushes the tip to your entrance, grunting as you pant.

“Please fuck me, need it, need you so bad,” You’d be embarrassed if he didn’t already know how often you touch yourself. Your nails find his forearms, gripping tightly as he slowly eases himself in.

While its true that both of you are virgins, it was laughable how intensely the both of you were affected by each other. Chalking it up to the soulmate bond, you become drunk at the sight of Bakugou left completely vulnerable to your eyes only.

“You look so pretty, so fucked out already.” Your cooing makes him glare at you, but you don’t miss the stutter in his hips.  “Aw, you like when I call you pretty, hmm?

“Shut the hell up,” Bakugou’s protest was weak as he panted into your ear, frame shaking.

“S’okay, I can tell you’re close.” Heaving chest, you reach out and kiss him, and embarrassingly enough for Katsuki, that’s what sends him over the edge, causing him to cry as you both are overcome with pleasure.

-

Bakugou feels his face turning red, he slouches over and tries to conceal his growing erection. A small whimper falls from his lips without consent, and Kirishima barks out a loud laugh from across the table of the fast-food joint they were at.

“Man, I thought you had your soulmate on a strict “hands off policy”; I guess she couldn’t-“

“Shut the hell up!” Bakugou hisses, trying to sound intimidating but his friend laughed harder.

“Maybe follow your own advice, yeah? Here,” Kirishima shoves some of his food into Bakugou’s mouth. “Stop moaning and eat.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes, barely registering the flavor in his mouth as he feels his erection grow painful. It was much different than before, but he wasn’t stupid, he knew this could only be one thing.

As he shuffles toward the exit, he shudders, feeling the intensity multiply, and bites his lip so hard it bleeds.

-

“Really? Ya think you’re so clever, that you found a goddamn loophole?” Towering over you, Bakugou glares as he snaps your shiny new vibrator in half.

Gasping, you swat a hand at him. “What the fuck! You can’t just break other people’s shit!”

Bakugou looks thoroughly unimpressed as he tosses the broken pieces of toy on the nightstand. “You seem to forget one important thing, sweetheart,” his hand finds your hot cunt, “I own this pussy.”

That makes you laugh, until you look at his face. “You’re serious? You don’t own-” He hand away then, which makes you frown. “Wait, no.”

He turns around and starts toward the door, shrugging. “Have it your way – you can try to make yourself cum, but even if you do, there’s no way your greedy cunt will be satisfied.”

“Don’t just break my vibrator and then leave me high and dry!”

Bakugou knew he would only encourage you if he fucked his fist, subsequently making you cum. No, you’re gonna learn your lesson one way or another, damn it.