#i cant remember most of their names so im not gonna try to make a joke here
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iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 6 months ago
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earlier i was joking abt names my mother could have named us that fit w the naming scheme that were better than what we got stuck with and i said one as a joke but tbh it kinda fucks hard and i kinda fw it....
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darlingdaisyfarm · 4 months ago
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Spicy chatting with Stan and Ford? Consider this ask my vote for that ❤️💙
(Love your writing, I've lurked for a while and finally remembered to follow)
sexting Stan and Ford headcanons
2 part of this
also thank you so much <3 im so glad to know you enjoy my writing !
tagging : @nekovmancer
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Stan Pines
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✧ he tries. god, does he try. but his texts are a combination of filthy and absolutely unhinged, it’s straight to “doll im sittin' here thinkin’ 'bout how good you’d look bent over my desk.”
✧ typically sends a blurry pic of his bare chest, captioned, “betcha wanna get your hands on this masterpiece, huh?" and you’re just staring at the picture like. . . gosh, Stan, who took this? did he set a fucking timer? he looks hot though 
✧ so yeah Stanley sends you photos, usually unprompted and always blurry because he’s just an old man, dear, what did you except?? his clothes half-open, pants unzipped just enough to give you a peek of what’s underneath and next message is: “betcha wanna see the whole thing, huh? be a good girl and ask nice.”
✧ texts you in the middle of the day: “gonna bend you over the kitchen counter tonight babe. make you cum on my fingers before I even think about putting my cock in you. whaddaya think?”
✧ he loves it when you’re bold, you send him something like: “what if I sit on your face instead?” and he’s instantly typing back: “doll, don’t threaten me with a good time. ya know I’d keep ya there till your legs give out.”
✧ Stan worships your photos. you send him a quick pic of you in bed and he replies immediately: “FUCK look at you. LOOK at THAT body. im gonna make you regret sending me that when im back. you better be ready for this cock, doll, ‘cause im not holding back.”
✧ a huge tease tbh, he wants you to beg. “tell me what you want, sweetheart. you want me to spread those legs and eat you out until you’re shaking? or maybe you want this thick cock filling you up?“
✧ “you’re touching yourself right now, aren’t ya? cant stop thinkin bout me pounding into you, huh? go ahead, baby. lemme know how bad you want it.”
✧ he’s got no shame about jerking off while texting you, you say one dirty thing, and he’s already: “jesus fucking christ, you’re killin me here, doll. im so fuckin hard right now. If you were here, I’d have you on your knees, taking care of me like the good girl you are.”
✧ Stan’s aftercare starts in the texts. so after he’s talked you through your orgasm, his messages turn soft. “that’s my girl, bet you look real pretty all flushed and satisfied. get some rest, doll you’re gonna need it when I get home.”
✧ Stan LOVES it when you play hard to get. “cmon, baby, don’t leave me hangin’. I swear, I’ll make it worth your while when I get my hands on you again.” but when you finally cave and give him a little, just a little, taste of what you want, his reply is “yeah that’s better, let me see that pussy of yours. you know I can make you feel good. let me prove it.”
✧ as you have already understood, this man is shameless, and he knows he’s good at getting under your skin.
“been thinkin’ about that pretty little cunt of yours, doll. what’s it gonna take to get my face buried there tonight?
✧ if you send him something back, it’s over. he’s going to double down with something that makes your toes curl. “you don’t know how badly I wanna fuck that smart mouth of yours until you forget your own name.” 
✧ the man is a sucker for dirty talk. he loves it when you tease him back, but he’s the most eloquent in his replies
✧ “If I was there right now, you wouldn’t be able to get a single word out. id have you moanin’ so loud they’d hear you down the street. you like the sound of that?”
✧ “you know I could really go for you in that tiny skirt of yours right now. make you bend over and fuck you while you’re still wearin’ it.” damn
✧ he’s a man of action. his texts are short and right to the point. “im gonna make you scream my name tonight, sweetheart. better be ready.”
✧ sends you something filthy right out of the blue. "you’re really makin' it hard for me to concentrate on work, baby. every time I close my eyes, all I can think about is the way you looked last night, riding me till you couldn’t walk.”
✧ if you send him a picture, especially if you’re in lingerie or something that shows just the right amount of skin, he goes wild. “WOAH, sweetheart. you’re gonna make me LOSE IT. I wanna tear that off you and fuck you right here RIGHTJ NOW.” the author's spelling has been preserved.
✧ a lot messages like: “tell me, doll, what color are those panties you got on right now?“
✧ but the minute you call him on his antics in person, he’s all cocky smirks and “ya can’t blame me for wantin’ to spoil my favorite girl, can ya?”
bonus 
Stan: hey doll, you up?
You: it’s 1 AM Stan
Stan: exactly
Stan: perfect time to talk about what you’d look like on top of me 
You: …smooth 
Stan: c’mon don’t act all shy
Stan: you were thinkin’ it too. bet you’re wearin’ somethin’ cute right now, huh?
Stan: or nothin’. nothin’s good too! 👍👍👍
You: why are you always texting me at the most unholy hours?
Stan: unholy?? c’mon sweetheart i’m just here tryna spread a little late night joy
Stan: i was thinkin’ about you though
Stan: well. you. and about how that sweet little mouth of yours looked last night
You: oh my godd
Stan: what?! it’s the truth
Stan: bet you’d look even better right now
You: you’re horrible
Stan: and you’re fuckin’ gorgeous
Stan: now be a good girl and tell me what you’re wearin
You: literally in my pajamas Stan
Stan: cute
Stan: betcha look sweet all wrapped up in blankets… though you’d look sweeter wrapped around me instead
You: fuck
You: Stan! 
Stan: what? i’m just bein’ honest. you want me to lie? fine! i’m thinkin’ about taxes. there. happy?
You: oh, shut up old man 
Stan: nah i’d rather talk about how soft your thighs are. how they’d feel so good squeezin’ around my head. c’mon, sweetheart, gimme somethin’. don’t make me do all the heavy liftin’ here
You: only if you promise to return the favor
you smirk, biting your lip, already excited because god you love playing hard to get with this man. so you let the moment linger just long enough to make him squirm before snapping a photo, of course you were lying bout pajamas and Stan damn knew, he felt 
you send the picture: lacy panties of your favourite colour barely covering anything, paired with an oversized sleep shirt that’s slipping off your shoulder
Stan: holy fuckin shit
Stan: you’re gonna make an old man’s heart give out
You: what, you don’t like it? :(
Stan: don’t like it? baby i’m gonna FRAME this picture and hang it on my wall
Stan: better yet i’m gonna print it out and carry it around so i can show off what’s mine
You: wtf that’s absurd
Stan: no what’s absurd is how hard i am right now. fuck, baby, you’re gorgeous. every inch of ya
You: your turn, old man
You: prove it 
you don’t expect him to actually follow through, but then your phone buzzes
Stan: look at what you’re gonna get, babe. and it’s all yours
a photo. exactly what you imagined: poorly lit, shot from a slightly awkward angle, but still breathtaking and so damn hot. his cock is thick and heavy in his hand, flushed and glistening at the tip, veins are prominent, pulsing down the shaft, and his fingers, broad, calloused, strong, wrap around it like he’s ready to ruin you as he strokes himself 
your mouth goes dry, you blink at the screen, your lip caught between your teeth. hell, you’ve seen him before, touched him, tasted him, but this photo is something else entirely. your fingers twitch like they want to reach through the phone because you’d crawl through the damn screen if you could
your fingers hover over the keys, trying to think of something clever to say, but the words won’t come. thighs clenching instinctively as you just stare at the screen.
You: okay, not bad, old man
Stan: NOT BAD?!
Stan: sweetheart, you’re lyin’ through your teeth. i know you’re sittin’ there soakin’ through those little lace panties of yours
You: please, you think one dick pic is enough to faze me 
Stan: oh, is that right? big talk comin’ from someone who’s gonna be beggin’ for it by the end of this
You: you wish old man
Stan: nah I know. let me paint you a picture, sweetie
Stan: you, spread out under me, that pretty little pussy so wet i can hear it every time i slide in. your legs wrapped so tight around me like you’re scared i’m gonna pull away. and me, fillin’ you up so deep you can feel me in your fuckin’ throat
and there your smugness falters
You: oh god
You: Stan
Stan: what’s the matter? 
Stan: cat got your tongue? betcha you’re soaked right now, huh? sittin’ there with that pretty little pussy all wet, wishin’ i was there to fill ya up
Stan: admit it, baby. your fingers aren’t even enough. you’re mine. every inch of you belongs to me and i’m gonna remind you of that the second i get my hands on ya
You: you’re not winning this old man
Stan: heh sweetheart, i already HAVE
your fingers fumble on the keyboard as you type, cheeks burning
You: please come
Stan: there you go, now that’s my girl 
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Ford Pines
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✧ he starts out so awkward it’s painful. you’ll send him something suggestive, and he’ll reply with: “Oh. Well. That’s… intriguing.” Intriguing, Ford? seriously?
✧ as we all know, Ford overthinks everything! it takes him forever to hit send because he’s convinced he’ll say something wrong and he’s so fucking nervous
✧ but as soon as he feels comfortable, he’s sending you long, well thought out messages full of science-y talk about how he wants to make you feel, because of course he’s analyzing you in a way. “I’ve been reading up on the physiological responses of the body during… how should I put this?… intimate interactions. Your body would likely respond most positively to the—” and then he gets really filthy without realizing it
✧ but Ford, dear sweet Ford, doesn’t always realize just how much of an effect his words have on you. if he’ll start spouting off his deep thoughts, you’ll send him, “Ford, I swear to god, if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to need to change my sheets.
✧ absolutely loves when you tease him, but he also knows how to turn it back on you. “Good girl, now tell me exactly what you’d like me to do to you, in vivid detail. I’m taking notes.”
✧ "I’d have you on your knees, darling. Holding you by the hair while I take you deep, slow. You’d love every second of it, wouldn’t you?"
✧ Ford LOVES playing the “I’m going to ruin you slowly” card. It gets under your skin every time. “You won’t be able to think about anything else when I’m done with you. I’ll have you begging for more.”
✧ you’ll send him a flirty text and two minutes later, he’s sent back an entire paragraph detailing how he’d peel your clothes off and worship you from head to toe
✧ as I said, he’s so damn descriptive, I mean bro literally wrote 3 journals, it’s easy for him. “I’d kiss my way down your stomach, slow enough to make you squirm. My fingers would trace your thighs, spreading you open so I could take my time tasting you, savoring every—” you’re already screaming into your pillow
✧ surprisingly filthy when he gets really needy and horny. long messages about exactly what he wants to do to you or what he wants you to do to him
✧ Ford is a huge fan of getting into your mind before he even thinks about touching you. he wants to know what makes you tick, what gets you wet, what turns you on mentally first
✧ he tries to stay composed, but the second you tease him, his composure shatters. you send him a pic, maybe just a peek of your thighs and he’s breathless: “What are you doing to me, darling? Do you have any idea how hard I am right now? I can’t stop imagining those legs wrapped around me while I’m making love to you, God help me.”
✧ “i would love to feel the warmth of your skin beneath my fingers as I slowly undress you. I’ll start by trailing kisses down your neck, your chest, until I reach the sweet spot between your thighs. Would you let me do that, darling?”
✧ embarrassingly vocal about how much he needs you. you’ll get texts like:
“I can’t concentrate on anything. I keep thinking about how tight and wet you felt around me last night. We need to make love again.” and then, seconds later:
“Please tell me you’re touching yourself right now. I need to know you’re thinking about me while you do it.”
✧ “God, I’d give anything to have my cock inside you right now.”
✧ If you send him a spicy picture, he just about short-circuits. “You’re exquisite. I need to see more.”
✧ “You don’t even realize the effect you have on me, do you? I’d ruin you in the most wonderful ways, darling.” you’re a puddle in seconds.  
✧ Ford loves when you’re explicit with him. if you’ll text him something like: “I want your cock so deep I forget my own name,” you’ll get: “Careful what you wish for, darling. I’ll have you screaming it by the time I’m done with you.”
✧ If you ever send him something too really dirty, all your fantasies and wishes, expect him to stare at your text, blink for a second, then type back: “That’s... unexpected. But I’m very intrigued. You must have an incredible imagination.” 
✧ sometimes Ford gets real quiet after a particularly hot conversation, nervous even. “I shouldn’t have sent that… I’m sorry if I…”
“Ford, don’t you dare apologize. I love it.”
bonus
Ford: Are you still awake, darling?
You: what do you think?
Ford: Well, considering you’re answering me, I’d say yes. I must say, you’ve been a distraction all day, sweetheart. I just keep replaying the way your skin felt under my hands the last time we touched… the sounds you made when I kissed you, your thighs.
You: sounds like you’re the distracted one, Doctor Pines
Ford: You’re the most beautiful distraction imaginable. Entirely your fault.
you smirk at the screen as an idea strikes
You: how’s this for distracting?
you send the picture: legs spread wide, your pussy glistening under soft light with two fingers pressing yourself open just enough to expose everything. you know Ford’s obsessive attention to detail, the way he adores every curve and line of you. oh god he’ll lose his mind over this
but. . . 
Ford doesn’t reply immediately. one minute. two now. the anticipation builds and your stomach twists.
You: …
You: Ford?
You: oh my god, say something!
You: was it too much? too forward?
five agonising minutes later, your phone lights up.
Ford: Darling… You are beautiful. Utterly perfect. Forgive my silence, I needed a moment to… compose myself.
You: five minutes of silence isn’t exactly reassuring, Ford
Ford: I assure you, I was not silent in my head.
You: damn
You: thought I broke you there
Ford: You nearly did. It’s taking all my willpower to stay coherent.
You: old man ur making me blush
Ford: I’m sorry! I wouldn’t dream of embarrassing you, my dear. I’d rather make you tremble with pleasure.
You: you really like it that much?
Ford: I’m obsessed, love. Now, listen carefully. Take those fingers, sweetheart. Slowly. I want you to trace circles around your little clit, soft and teasing. No rushing.
and of course you obey
You: im so sensitive rn Ford
Ford: Good, honey. Yeah, nice and slow.
You: like this?
Ford: Exactly like that. Does it feel good, darling? Tell me.
You: so good im already so wet for you 
Ford: Good. Now, slide one of those fingers inside. Don’t go too deep yet. Just enough to feel it.
You: fuck, Ford 
You: feels amazin
Ford: That’s my girl. Now, add another. Stretch yourself out for me, darling. I want you to imagine it’s my fingers instead. Feel how I’d curl my fingers to touch you just right, all your sweet spots. Don’t stop until I tell you to.
You: :((
Ford: Sweetheart? What’s wrong?
You: it’s not the same
You: you’ve got six fingers, i can’t make it feel like you
Ford: Ah, my darling… that’s terribly unfair of me, isn’t it? You’re right. No one else can touch you the way I can. But I promise, when I’m there, I’ll make it up to you tenfold. For now, let’s keep going. I want you to use your fingers, sweetheart. Make yourself feel good for me, pleasure yourself. Please. Slide them deep and tell me how it feels.
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orilimbs · 5 months ago
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There's no time to explain who am I, so im gonna show you my own take on Horrortale Yellow.
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This au's name doesn't need to be explained, the underground sets in an uncanny ambient after a neutral route in general, but based on Undertale Yellow's timeline, the underground sets in this ambient after a neutral route made by Integrity.
Each area like The Dark Ruins and Snowfall (Lower Snowdin) are based on the horsemen of the apocalypse in order: Death (Ruins), Pestilence (Snowdin), Famine (Dunes/The Wild East), War (Steamworks and UG Apartments), and finally, the last area called "Clover's judgement" can be heaven or hell depending of the route (genocide, neutral or pacifist (NOT FLAWED), where your fate will be sealed if you choose to fight Zenith Martlet, Kitsune Ceroba or Flowey.
Monsters CAN bleed in this au if they arent at a very low HP but still damaged, if they lost all their HP they turn into dust normally along with the blood.
I dont have enough energy to explain every character's deep lore on this au, so im gonna say their general characteristics:
Clover is 10-years old, they escaped from home and fell from a mountain on accident, without having any bandages or any gun, they have to dodge every attack to not to die. They fell in a flower bed that had spines on it, making them lose a part of their vision and getting hurt, leaving them with a very low HP permanently at the beginning.
Dalv is a REAL vampire this time, he will try to attack Clover no matter if theyre friends or not, but Dalv knows is better for Clover to leave his house for their own good if they want to survive. Dalv is selectively mute and has vampire urges that need to be satisfied. He lost a horn in a fight that he doesnt remember.
Martlet lives in Snowfall where there is a fungus infection that was born after the dust mixed with very cold snow on trees that made a fungus live on fruits and honey panels. Martlet is infected and a bit hungry, but she would never attack a poor child. She's vulnerable to cold and diseases, she's is in the late-third phase of infection where fungus take place on her physical body and cant fly.
Ceroba lives in the dunes where everyone fights and eat themselves to survive, concluding on cannibalism and blood, everyone is hungry and will attack anyone who steps on the area. Ceroba has a scar on her left eye like Clover and has insomnia to protect Kanako and Chujin, who are alive but need to be feed. She has SEVERE problems with Orion (Starlo's brother).
Axis was created after Integrity's neutral route where The Integrity Incident never happened, Axis serves as a doctor and emergency robot, when he was closed in the Steamworks, the Steamworks and UG Apartments summerged on war due to being trapped by their own creators. Axis is mute due to his "radio" being damaged, he is a pacifist and tries to help Clover until Clover and Ceroba wrongly attack him.
I will drop more information later, but these are the most important ones. The others who I didnt included (Decibat, El Bailador, Starlo, Orion, along with others) are secondary or important to a specific character's development. Here are the old designs, some of them stay the same and others changed a little bit or generally.
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qprpbj · 6 months ago
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i wanna hear ur thoughts on the pony dying at the fountain au thing :)
THANK YOU FOR ASKINGGGG. this entire thing is delusional yap central and 95% johnny based so. im so sorry in advance btw.
well. first. so i think johnny wouldn't have had the instinct to run the way he did trying to protect pony and go to dally's — i cant really remember it tbh but i once saw an interpretation of johnny where he was like. his instincts and actions (stabbing paul without a second thought) were compared to that of almost a child (due to abusive parents and neglect etc etc) when put in the worst case scenario so he makes snap judgements without using his head, whereas pony thinks decisions through and mulls over shit maybe more than he should, which is why johnny just yanks him away and gets them to dally's place. i think johnny wouldn't have had that drive in him bc deep down he knowssss pony's gone, knows there's nobody that needs protecting, so he just. sits. at the fountain with pony in his lap. possibly for hours till the sun comes up, most likely in denial trying to convince himself pony isn't dead. doesn't know where to go or who to tell or what to do, esp bc this kid is already so heavily traumatized as is, he simply doesn't make the best decisions sometimes. just how it goes
then like. i assume someone finds them sitting there eventually, johnny can't even talk, whether it be the gang out looking bc they didn't show up last night or this morning or idk a stranger on a walk or literally idk. but. either way. the sheer difference in how pony's death were to be treated vs bob's?? there's no investigation done even though johnny says it was the socs, it wasn't a suicide, they got jumped and pony got killed. he lists them all by name, says exactly what happened, but there's never gonna be justice for pony bc nobody cares when it's a greaser who gets exploited or tortured or hurt or killed. (justice for tulsa scene where the cop shines a light on two-bit getting jumped and turns a blind eye....hmmm).
i thinkkk soda and darry would take johnny in. i won't harp on how torn up they'd obviously be — think soda's letter but about eight hundred times more nauseating ykwim. they just don't get along right without ponyboy. they lost their parents and they lost their kid brother and nearly johnny too — and nobody ever gets justice. so, it's darry who calls war & it's him who calls the rumble in pony's name. :)
johnny probably stays w them for a while but entirely collapses in on himself — literally rots from the inside out with guilt, bc he had a blade and he didn't use it. whether it be bc he chickened out or he was restrained too hard and wasn't strong enough or whatever the case, he takes on guilt heavyyyy for it. withdraws from the gang, from the curtises, saves up whatever little money he can and runs away to windrixville alone — bc hear me out. i think both him And pony def feel some type of way about bringing grief and sorrow and death wherever they go canonically in some type of way. esp him like..staying with pony's brothers now, probably sleeping in his old bedroom trying to keep pony's memory alive. idk idk. the guilt just goes CRAZYYY so. johnny runs away to an old church dally once suggested to him if he ever needed a place to go to run away — esp bc johnny literally canonically has considered running away before.
gang goes crazy over this obviously. search and search and it takes...who knows, days, weeks, to find him. he's got a bit of money stashed and he's not on the run from cops so he can go out to find food and whatever freely but he wants out, doesn't wanna be around the gang. dally shoots up in bed at like 3am realizing he knows exactly where tf johnny must be and collects them all in a car to drive out and find him. they get there and corner him like he's a lil scared animal shining flashlights in the dark and he pulls his blade on them all when they try to approach him up backed against the wall cause he dipped for a reason, damn it, and he doesn't want to be found. dally always runs away and finds success. the implications of johnny pulling a blade on the gang and on dally (out of fear) who gave him it in the first place?? esp when dally prefaced it by when you use this you have to do this with confidence, you have to really mean it, you can't back down when you pull a blade. idk the implications are There. that's literally where this whole thing came from LOL
that's. all i've got lol. thanks for tuning into this absolute monstrosity of a reply i'm so sorry LOL
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nanis4thewin · 1 year ago
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quackity being a dad headcanons because there has been too many baby tiktoks that give me baby fever
i think if you were both hispanic or both speak spanish fluently, he would want his kid to speak it too as their first langauge. If not and you dont speak spanish or arent hispanic and speak a different langauge , he would teach them english because its a common ground between the both of you, but he’d teach his kid spanish later when they are more like 5 or 6, teaching them common things to say.
loves your kid to death. like so so so so much. If he’s working or doing school (im not sure if he finished yet), he would carrying the kid in his lap. Or he loves hearing his baby giggle when he does something funny. and seeing the babys smile melts his heart
when the baby cries, it would break his heart. I think like if the baby cries over the night, he really tries his best to take care of it- but he gets so wind up in his work- so you usually take care of that. but he feels guilty when he sees you so tired but then he sees your smile when you finally make the baby fall back asleep. and his worries go away
i dont think he would mind changing the baby 😭 he thinks its gross but its not like he’s never gonna do it. he knows its normal so he gets it done and then goes on with his day.
if the kid got an attitude with him, he would be the type to leave them with a warning. like taking away their toys or a spanking. and if the baby stops having an attitdude, then nothing happens. but if they do it again, then something will happen. I dont think he woukd have too much of a problem with punishng your kid???i mean he knows when is too much but he also knows when a child needs discipline.
although everyone wants to be the most perfect loving parent, we all habe our flaws. I think quackity tries to be ther all the time for the kid but gets so winded up in work that he often doesnt habe enough time for the baby. But he tries to make sure he’s there for good and bad times. he hates the fact he cant be there the whole way but he also wants the best life for his child,so he works as hard to make sure his kid gets everything they need and want. I also think he puts some presure on his kids. like for grades and school. I remember him talking about how he tried and how he would try to get the best grades so i think by habit he woukd put the same pressure on his kids. but if you talked to him about, he would cool it down a bit.
takes pictures of EVERYTHING. your kids first time going to mexico? picture. your kids first time going to school? picture. your kids first time going to the beach? PICTURE. he tries to take as much oictures because its just little reminders of the progress of his child he is so proud of.
his first impression of the baby, he felt like crying. he heard the baby cry, his heart was racing out of joy and nervous. but when he saw the baby kaying down after it calmed down. he realized that was HIS. he was gonna raise this baby, and he couldn’t feel prouder.
defiedntly a nickname dad. like calling the baby ‘my precious’ ‘my little guy/girl’ ‘bubs’ ‘mija/mijo’ or a nickname of their name
an extra headcanons: he loves your baby fat and stretch marks !!! he thinks they look so sexy and beautiful and he’s head over heels when he sees you wear fitted shirts and your baby fat is more shown and he just stares in awh 🥺 !! he thinks its beautiful because thats where his children came from. AND ALSO HE PLAYS ‘never grow up’ BY TAYLOR SWIFT FOR YOUR BABY ❤️❤️❤️
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schizotypalpd-culture-is · 24 days ago
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major cw for venting abt rumination, unreality and paranoia...
questioning stpd + bpd culture is freaking out alot and never being able to keep an account for long and getting immediately suspicious as well as hella inferior to ("they're gonna find out something about me idk what but i know")/anxious of anyone who is too enthusiastic about you (and conversely trying to talk to people who are not as available at all), not being able to use youtube much anymore because u think all the videos could be talking about you even tho its just a tactic to address the viewer to watch but u feel so fucking called out by every little thing, getting angry at the screen and always typing mean shit in the search bar in case somethings watching (but still being addicted to the internet), feeling intrusive at every family function for no reason, feeling like an idiot trying to speak more than one or two words on most days bc it gets jumbled or u literally cannot remember even names or what u did 2 days ago, having the weirdest blend of disgruntled/confused/concerned stare with little response at all whenever u try to describe ur problems and mind, having breakdowns when u try to make friends irl, and really needing help but too scared of being invalidated/mistreated/laughed at and also its a big process i dont fully understand or have much help with and being watched/monitored by family is my nightmare. then ruminating for hours feeling guilty bc the other part of u knows its not all about u, negative grinch!! but u cant escape the feeling or the possibility. then u get scared somethings watching ur brain judging and u spend more hours arguing with yourself or the entity and freaking out which the stress and sleep deprivation turns into hallucinating ghosts (then u think... OMG she cursed me! im haunted! its this house! my vibes are so bad ghosts want me out of here.) and having nobody to tell abt it. so u write about it in a document cuz u literally cant verbalise delusions hoping whatever medical professional will see it wont disregard it because you are somewhat self aware/introspective (to the point that you're just obsessing over your own thoughts not really anything like ooh enlightenment. oh and then u ruminate that maybe youre not sick enough... then get angry at imaginary people who would dare think that... wait im an asshole! people can think what they want! whats my problem! im so mean! que rumination about that), post online then get paranoid about it again and tbh u dont know why u post it but it has to go somewhere, to someone. itll probably drive everyone away but i don't know where else to go. maybe ill be honest and show my true face. but do people even do that? am i something to be hidden? im so tired and cant even cope with people walking outside my window and i look creepy when i figure out what theyre doing by standing at the window then i panic thinking they think im a creep going to do bad things.
.
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gutziez · 2 months ago
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so. this is something I've wanted to say for months
im not really who i am for fucks sake half the time I don't know who I am its become way too blurred and I'm gonna share my past here and everything I've done so I have many points but one has been clawing at my from the inside like its trying to rip my throat to pieces from the inside of my esophagus Cassie and Ruby aren't dead they were never even real Cassie and Ruby are a projection of who I wish I knew who I wish I had for a friend but I got bored of them and killed them off in my mind and socially I'm very sorry faye but Cassie wasn't real she was a character she was someone I wanted to relate to I have no one but the people online even then I left Ares and Tame because I thought they'd judge me over fucking fictional characters and I was bored I wanted something to happen so I killed them I faked Ruby overdosing I faked Cassie stabbing herself its fake they aren't real they cant be dead because they never existed I'm sorry Faye I didn't want to make YOU hurt but you were just so close to me and its a sick form of entertainment at this point. Im too into the idea of human emotion and action and I hurt you with it. now for the other piece of this I'm sorry to literally everyone I've come into contact with I'm a lot of drama because I seek drama I just want some fucking emotion in my life and I create lies and more lies but those lies start to feel true I don't even know which parts of my life are real did he actually rape me did I actually get groomed for sex trafficking did he actually tell me I'd never be his son I don't know what's going on I'm losing memory and sense of self I cant do this shit ive gone through blog and blog and blog delete the old account and go to a new one I've gone by so many names Ace Star Azalea Ollie Oliver Aspen I don't even know if I can count them all I'm thinking about changing it again for fucks sake but I cant because he'll judge me and refuse to call me by my chosen name because of how fluid I feel about myself is I don't even know if Nyx or Evelyn exist anymore I cant and no please just please don't forgive me call me a piece of shit degrade me for what I've done for all of the people I've hurt by clicking the fucking delete button by lying by being a piece of living trash please Faye just call me the worse thing you can think of and move on from me I don't see a point in my life anymore and if you forgive me I'll end up hurting you more just let yourself leave. I would say I love you but I'm a fucking monster I'm horrible why would I fake someones existence and then make them die just to feel something I'm not okay not to mention the amount of other people I've put through stuff just for the sake of attention and drama
im a stupid fucking attention whore
im sorry Aster too I think I ended up faking my death or I just left silently I think I went by Ace or Ollie I don't remember it was like a year ago maybe less I'm sorry for that I wish you the best don't forgive me please I shouldn't be forgiven
i love everyone but I'm also a piece of shit Ill leave my account up for a little while so everyone can get their "kill yourself"s out I will be listening to the messages tell me to relapse and die
@f4y3w00d5 @amethyst-aster @lils-ki @tameable50
i don't remember the others ive hurt the most but you could at least show others so they can point and laugh
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cult-of-the-eye · 1 year ago
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Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider
FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST
Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death
New spooky music???
My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks
Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER
Omg the greying hair is canon??
Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you
Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy
Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma
You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.
Getting such neurodivergent vibes
Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes
My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys
He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start
"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary
Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it
I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old
The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense
Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol
It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered
My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that
I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard
The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol
He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you
On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name
I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it
AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH
HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.
yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner
GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND
ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC
THE ADMIRAL
Awwww he's so cute with georgie
GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST
THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE
Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??
God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her
It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster
WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!
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kumezyzo · 2 years ago
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cooking stream with bf!sapnap. non streamer reader because why not. and i tried to make applicable to most readers but theres not much i can do given that its a cooking stream, so im sorry if it doesnt fit some people.
side note, do people like it more when the name isnt mentioned or is "y/n" fine? cause i feel weird writing y/n but also find it hard to not have a name in the sentence at all...
anyway, enjoy!.... or dont :)
pt.1 pt.2 m.list
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bf!sapnap who starts the steam like normal with his resting face until he turned to look at you and subconsciously started grinning. he then proceeded to introduce you very enthusiastically.
"yea, were cooking with yn today guys!"
bf!sapnap that explains how you to were just gonna make a normal dinner together.
"yea so we're just gonna make baked salmon and veggies cause we dont wanna do too much," he looked at you as you nodded in agreement.
"and rice."
"and rice!"
bf!sapnap that lets you answer questions people direct towards you.
are you planning on moving in with sapnap now?
"uh... hah... no, not at this moment in time"
does patches like y/n?
"i think she likes me. or shes just overall really chill 😅"
does y/n like patches
"of course. shes like the queen. i have to or she'll like... kill me in my sleep."
bf!sapnap that absent-mindedly pats your ass as he walks behind you every once in a while. chat only caught onto it when you have you back turned to the camera and they saw him do it 😭. people clipped it and the way you pursed your lips every time and looked into the camera for a second.
bf!sapnap who tries not to watch you so cautiously as you chop vegetables but cant help but look over every few seconds.
bf!sapnap who doesnt catch how much chat loves and freaks out when you only call him 'nick'.
"hey nick, why are there barely any spices in here..."
"nick, be careful please?" *as he swings around the knife stabbing the air as if hes in an anime*
or when bf!sapnap sneaks in a kiss whenever he can and youre not expecting it.
ie. when your pause to attempt to read the chat
"how in hell do you guys read the chat when it goes by so-"
his lips left yours as soon as they met and he turns around nonchalantly to check on the preheat status of the oven. he really just did it to hide the huge grin on his face
bf!sapnap who flicks water at you after he washed his hands. you stare at him with playfully challenging eyes that tell him he just started a war.
bf!sapnap who calls a truce after you managed to drench the front his hoodie in water.
bf!sapnap who hugs you from behind (after changing his hoodie) and sways as you two wait for the food to bake in the oven. he quietly whispers 'i love you' into your ear as you try to supress a smile.
bf!sapnap who absolutely refused to let you pull the tray out of the oven.
bf!sapnap who gave you the bigger piece of salmon while you were grabbing drinks.
bf!sapnap who answered all the questions directed for you when you had a mouthful of food.
bf!sapnap who glared at the camera when he saw an influx of comments that called him 'simpnap'
bf!sapnap who couldnt help but groan at the trending hashtag on twitter.... (you guessed it...#simpnap) dream and george def teased him for it afterwards
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remember to send in asks and requests! and tell me your opinions on the y/n shit. thanks for reading this section too -Nony
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enchantedsword · 20 days ago
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starting to get another idea for a mama sunny au but instead of something happening and wukong ending up with amnesia, just ends up in the half human form with his powers and immortalities sealed, but while he doesnt have amnesia to a full extent, he cant remember how it happened or how he ended up off the mountain with a "human" kid. theyre both still found by pigsy and tang and wukong does have to fake the amnesia a bit because whos gonna believe hes the monkey king when the only power he has the ability to use is shields.
wukong comes up with the story that he can remember his name(shihou which is what he mostly goes by in this au) and that he was running from something but he cant remember what that something/someone is, but does start to "remember" things as time goes by(dudes making it up as he goes but doing so very well). and that the kid might be his sibling but hes not entirely sure,the hospital they are taken too does determine that mk is related to wukong but inconclusive on if mk is his sibling or his child(even wukong is confused by how it can be that inconclusive).
wukong is still sick in this au, kinda made worse by the fact that hes used to his powers dealing with it all so he doesnt really know his limits, but also made better that he doesnt have to learn the hard way that he cant eat certain things and how to handle migraines(i think he has them even unsealed), he also has all his scars from before he was sealed. sometimes just causally saying how he got a scar and worrying everyone but how calm he is about it. someone asks about the scar on his head and he just nonchalantly replies with a "i didnt listen so i got punished".
i do think after a while he does tell pigsy and tang who he is, weather they believe him or not is up in the air, but they do believe he isnt completely normal. i dont think he would tell mk or mei who he is at least not until mk finds the staff. meeting sandy i dont have a solid plan yet, i was thinking a mix of shihou meeting sandy somehow and becomes friends and not meting the rest of the group untill canon events. not sure if in this one i want wukong and mk to stay with pigsy and tang the whole time(again due to wukongs poor health) or just until wukong gets settled and can get thier own place(still close to pigsy and tangs place though)
wukong has been trying unsuccessfully to find ways to unseal his powers and to figure out who or what did this to them, he kinda suspects mk is not human but he also wants to let him live normally and knows he wouldnt be able to do anything about it anyway so he keeps it too himself. wukong besides telling tang and pigsy who he is keeps on the downlow for the most part, he doesnt want heaven or any of his other enemies to find out what happened to him, since he cant even protect himself right now let alone be able to protect mk.
i do have a few things im unsure about. like if i want wukong and mk to use the surname sun or qi, or have sun shihou and qi xiaotian, or have them both qi so no one can link shihou to being wukong. the other thing is if i want mk to call wukong mom or shihou, a mix of both like he does with pigsy/dadsy or maybe use the name sunny as like his verion of calling him mom.
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months ago
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I want to start this off saying you dont have to reply if you dont want to i just felt like i really needed to talk to someone about it and i dont want to burden my friends with it.
Basically me and my mom have been getting in arguments because she has and idea of who i should be in her head and every time i make a mistake or accidentally remond her im not that person she gets upset. I dont know how to be quiet when she starts talking super condescendingly to me and this ends in an argument cause "i shouldnt be talking back". I dont know what to do any more. I tried for so long to be exactly who she wanted me to be and i literally couldnt be that person. But i tried for so long and it was killing me. It put me in a horrible place mentally until i finally gave up on being who she wants me to be and decided to just be me sort of. I dont really know whats me and whats left over from trying to be someone else for so long but im trying and im exhausted. I live with my mom and its not possible for another couple years for me to move out so i just have to deal with it. Most of the time i feel guilty for just existing because i cant be that person. I promise im gonna keep trying but im so exhausted because i get yelled at for struggling with every day tasks that are so easy for everyone else but they take so much effort from me. I feel like i need to tell my mom that i cant keep this up, that it almost killed me once and honestly its probably still left me with depression, but every time i work up the courage to say anything the words get stuck in my throat so i just dont. The biggest issue behind this is my emotions are either way to big or nonexistent and i just feel like i shouldnt exist because she had an idea of me and no matter how hard i try i cant even come close to being that person.
Anyways sorry for the rant, didnt mean for it to be so long. Obviously you dont have to respond if you dont want to, just knowong someone will read it and someone will know that im struggling for once is enough. Thank you so much <3
Hi!
Honestly, I think a lot of kids struggle with this. And I don't say that to negate your feelings, I say that to mean, you're very much not alone.
I think we need to remember that our parents' expectations of us aren't always realistic or feasible, and even though a lot of times it's based on love and good intentions, you can still be successful in other ways without meeting their intentions.
Also, our parents are just people. We don't need their approval to be good people or to be successful.
I think the best way to deal with this is to look at their expectations with a neutral perspective. Ask yourself, is this something that you absolutely HAVE to do in life to be a good person/be successful? If not, don't trip over yourself to meet that expectation unless you want to.
For example, if they want you to become a doctor, you don't have to do that to be successful unless you want to. You could also be a mechanic, and electrician, a teacher, etc. But if the expectation is to be respectful, then YES that's a fair expectation. There's a difference.
I hope this helps <3 naming you expectations anon
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candieduranium · 5 months ago
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last night i had a dream that i was a swiftie and went to a taylor swift concert and afterwards taylor was at the spa and i saw her but for some reason the spa was a cavern full of water so i swam down it and i saw taylor with her eyes closed lying in this bathtub-looking thing but for some reason when youre in them you dont drown but anyway i saw bubbles come out of her mouth and i thought she was drowning so i swam back out of the cave as fast as i could to try to get help and i came back to my old house?? and i was panicking and i went back to the underwater spa thing where taylor was and she was AWAKE and she started to talk to me and she was like "haha you probably thought i was dead right" and i was like "yeah haha i thought you were DROWNING" and then she was just chatting with me? it was casual conversation but i dont even remember what it was about but the entire time since we're underwater i have to like press my face against this tiny air pocket in the ceiling because i can drown but she cant?? and she keeps yapping and after a little while im like "i love chatting with you and all but it's difficult to hear you when im like going back and forth between trying to grab breaths and holding them underwater to hear you" and she shoots me the most judgmental look and shes like yeah fine whatever and so we swim out of the underwater spa and go to her house?? now keep in mind im not actually a swiftie irl so i genuinely have no clue what her house actually looks like but it was pretty swaggy and it had a lot of windows. but anyway we keep chatting at her house for a while. i think maybe we watched a movie together?? idk but i was sitting on a beanbag. and later we go downstairs to like her living room area and we eat piroulines (the super awesome cylindrical chocolate wafer things) on her bed and watch youtube videos on her phone except this time the section leader from battery at me school band is there?? along with one of the trumpeters??? but yeah we keep watching youtube videos on taylor's phone but i like blacked out during the whole thing and i woke up and the battery section leader was like "ohhh [trumpeter's name] got chocolate eeeeverywhere lmaoo" and then those two just left??? and then it was just me and taylor again and for some reason we're still chatting? and then i say to her stuff like "haha forgive me for not knowing but do you have a boyfriend?" and shes like "yeahhh lol" and then we made like party garlands out of cardboard?? they looked terrible. and then taylor started scrolling on tiktok and i saw one of her own tiktoks and it had over 2 million likes and i said "lol whenever i post a tiktok they only get like 3 likes." I DONT EVEN HAVE TIKTOK IRL. but then i think i left taylor's house and i was like "what nobody's gonna believe me when i tell them what just happened so i guess the only way anyone will know what just happened here will be if taylor swift herself makes a video about what just happened." and then for some reason i looked like youtube influencer jenna phipps???? and then i was playing roblox with taylor swift's boyfriend???? and then i have like tiny tidbits and memories from the rest of the dream but they are honestly even more of a jumbled mess so i'll spare you those. farewell.
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delcakoo · 2 years ago
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i’m sure most ppl expected this so i’m not gonna make a big deal out of it but!! yes i am going on hiatus for an unspecified amount of time.
it’s honestly quite simple, i’ve just been losing interest in most aspects of kpop aside from the music, which makes writing for it a lot harder than before. i also dealt with a lot of burn out for months and still forced myself to write which only made it worse. lastly, i’m an executive of two clubs at my school this year on top of all my classes, so finding time to write would be even worse than it was before :’) !
YEAh that’s kinda it! for now my works will stay up, moots can dm me for my disc/spotify!! even if we’ve barely spoken pspsps i wanna stalk ur music cmere 🤲 a special shout out to my emoji anons too, you’re all amazing people ilysm, especially those that have been stuck with me for so long <3 (u know who u are!!)
i’ll try and check in here every so often to chat, esp if a new comeback for enha/txt happens!! love u guys and stay safe <3 you may send an ask if u have any questions!
extra stuff i wanna say to moots below! (it’s all word vomits i’m sorry)
RAVEN. MY WIFEY. my BELOVED blr wont let me tag u but you already know i adore u sm playing roblox with u is so fun even if that one banana game was kinda ass!! 💖 thank u for being so so sweet when putting up with me all the time and raising our fav corgi daughter with sm love <3 i hope u get more confidence in ur writing because your fics are always so creative and well written, and in yourself too bc a certain mf thats name starts with J and ends with N is MISSING OUT. 🙄🙄 ok im still gna be annoying u all the time so. bye ig….. smooches
@seongclb katto u deserve an award for putting up with me in dms ilysm 😞 watching the promised neverland together brought me so much joy and i still have a ss of you calling gilda a tractor ok i love u!!!! i would read your fics all day any day u are so talented and ur photography skills are amazing, i hope we get to keep in touch WE SHOULD FIND ANOTHER SHOW TO WATCH TGTHER !!!!! i need to fix your lack of anime knowledge ‼️ PLS KEEP WRITING AS WELL ENHABLR NEEDS U!!!!
@soov reirei my gf i aspire to be as confident and funny as you, you’re literal sunshine and always make my day better even with just one interaction <3 thank u for being so welcoming my first days in walmart enha and raising sushiwon with me!! as well as entertaining me by dying in genshin every 3 seconds <3 (WE NEED TO PLAY AGAIN) oh and KEEP WRITING BB. i will rise from THE DEAD WHEN IT COMES OUT OK U CAN DO THIS ML!!
@haknom kangaroo karaoke keys we may have had only a few convos but they were all so fun like PLAYING BRAWL STARS WAS HILARIOUS we ate the house down in duo showdown idc. and beta reading ur fics was such a treat esp while watching u plan new smaus every other day 🫶 also your music taste is MUWAH gimme some more recs pspsps !!! KEEP WRITING OKKK?!
@kynrki kimmy kimmy kim one of my first ever moots <3 your writing is always such a joy to read and your energy is amazing, thank you for giving me a chance when i was too shy to ask anyone else to be moots LMAO 🫶 plsplss keep writing you’re so gifted and deserve the whole world LOVEE UU
@bitehee cavvy my big sibling :((( i love u sm kshsdknd its been a while but i really hope everything has been well since you moved and you’re still being as cool as ever <3 im gonna replay a pokemon game in ur honor perhaps mystery dungeon 👁️ ? anyway i look up to u and think u are so cool, one of my fav hee stans ever ever!!! remember u have my disc if u ever wanna chat 🫂 !!!
@sunoksunny sunny <3 my other gf. i remember our first vc u had this goofy pfp i cant remember what it was but like u are so easy to talk to and funny?! and PRETTY??? your fits are always stunning and your singing is beautiful ugh the whole package fr… and. we need. to play. genshin!!! I REDOWNLOADED IT FOR U OK WE WILL DISCUSS THIS SOON!! ILY
@slytherinshua ZANNY. u are so easy to talk to we match each others energy so perfectly?!? I HOPE U AND TUALHA CONTINUE BEING THE COOLEST EVER and ur writing is top tier so pls keep going‼️ thank u for being so sweet to me as another one of my very first moots i appreciate u sm <3333
@flwrshee riri !!! we haven’t even been moots for long but i had to add u in here because u need to know that ILYSM. you’re like an adorable energetic little sister that always makes me smile T-T thank you for taking time out of your day to reblog my fics with so much sweet feedback and i wish u the absolute best always!! if u ever need anything pls dm me on disc i would love to chat with u more, and make sure to keep writing bc u have SO much talent!!!!
@wonieleles sia SIA i genuinely miss talking to u sm i NEED to come back to walmart enha :(( we don’t talk much besides our little interactions in the server but each time you make me smile. you’re so so smart and admirable, i hope you keep up the hard work bc i know you’ll go so far and HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE!! you’re so beautiful okay ily 😞🫶
@sultrybaby kel 😭😭😭💖💖 you’ve literally been a day one THANK YOU for always checking in on me even during your ridiculous NONSTOP EXAMS. 💀 another one of my big siblings on here fr you are such a real one and i care for u sm!!! i hope everything has been well for u?! pls feel free to message me for anything okay <3 I LOVE U SM thank u for sticking with me all this time 🫂🫂
i have so many moots so i can’t write smthn for everyone but i love u all okay <3 AGAIN if u wanna keep in touch thru spotify or discord dm me muwah
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fallenclan · 1 year ago
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vskldjf im glad you like Spottedember's design bcus she is so pretty and i need to sit down and draw her but im just so distracted to sit down and focus on doing that
but look at her she's my Main Character
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literally fighting against saying "she has red hair, trauma, AND pronouns!" so hard rn and failing im failing
literally everything bad happens to her so much she's so miserable and sad now i love it <3
her moms killed her kittypet bio-mom and raised her to be Prim and Proper (haha get it bcus her mom's name is Primfoot? ...no? okay ill see myself out-) and she grew up when the clan was at war with literally every other clan (every single apprentice in her generation got scarred, some multiple times), and right after the wars stopped, a mass extinction event occured (cant remember what rn) and it killed her mom Rootshade who was deputy (Which is a WHOLE nother story involving cheating and affairs and WHY would you appoint the girl who cheated on ur husband deputy but anyway-), and the leader decided to make HER deputy?? for some reason?? she was just a baby??? (well okay she was 30 moons but still she's baby to me)
anyway she, Squirrelnut, and Hopestem became mates and I love to think that Squirrel and Hope always kept Spotted grounded and from freaking out cause she was so stressed from the pressure from her mom Prim and the responsibilities of being deputy in a clan that just really really likes being assholes and killing kittens. and i think they helped her be less like her mom/the rest of the clan to and try to choose kindness over violence. Hopestem actually got the message that she was a part of a prophecy!!! so i was like "these 3 are gonna make the clan good again"
and Spottedember became Spottedstar and you know the story---mass extinction event after mass extenction event decimated the clan until it was only Spottedstar, Squirrelnut, Skipnight (Hopestem's sister), and their kids. and it's really sad because all those apprentices Spottedstar has listed? most of those are all her kids, and specifically the kids born in "solo litters." Birchheather specifically kept getting injury after injury and didn't graduated until 15 moons, only to immediately die... during training sessions with them there would be messages where it said she didn't train them/did something else aside from training.
she's so traumatized and numb now, i love when horrible things happen
(its also really curious to me that her traits go from "childish" to "oblivious"... why? what's she being oblivious to? ...how evil her clan was? how abusive her parents were? things to think about)
(man i need to stop ranting and focus on my actual projects)
(hey also i think it's funny that both Swiftpaw her little brother and Swiftpaw her son died, especially because she totally named her son Swiftpaw after her brother. Swiftpaw's never live)
okay i should be drawing Mudsplash rn but. i just had to stop and do a quick doodle of Spottedstar hope thats okay teehee
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of course you have red hair, trauma, two partners, an epic scar from the rat king, a rainbow collar, evil parents, and pronouns
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imaginespazzi · 7 months ago
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PARRRRTTTT SEVEN REACCTTTIONNS
- nivi u angel bby thank you so much for the update!!! i always look forward to monday updates (west coast girly u did it with hours to spare) BUT REMEMBER don’t over work yourself over getting us updates!!! ily!!!
- my goal for the chapter is to stay far away from cliffs because i seem to always threaten them!
- stop paige’s little mini panic then relief when azzi and stephie are still there 😭😭 sweet girl went through it:(
- “and maybe this is how i become whole again.” oh hey it’s me, remember before i started reading i said i would stay clear of the cliffs? yeah well, fuck that! find me a cliff because i died dead. screaming, crying, throwing up. NIVI u are my evil genius but please please just protect her heart PLEASE.
- okay paige just left the bed if she leaves the house without speaking to azzi and stephie u might finally get some tears out of my eyes! i rlly don’t think she would but…
- stop poor drew 😢drew being annoyed with paige switching teams?!? im nervous for drew and azzi reunion.
- going to be honest i don’t really interact with azzis brothers stuff anywhere so i don’t know anything abt Tallulah but she seems so sweet in your fic ❤️‍🔥
- stop the fudds missing paige and talking about her😭😭 im on the floor next to the cliff bleeding out
- stop tim and paige mean so much to me
- stop paige legit tripping over her feet at the sight of stephie upset MY HEART
- STEPHIE ASKING PAIGE TO PROMISE SHE WILL NEVER LEAVE 😭😭 im scared
- I PROMISE ILL TRY TO STAY. fuck i’m scared
- god. your writing is a masterpiece. this whole situation is damaging my soul. i don’t hold it again azzi, im fully convinced she has her reasoning that were VAILD but oh my god i feel so bad for paige (this is not me saying that azzi didn’t go through shit too) but my poor bby is terrified i feel so bad ☹️
- stop stephie really is a mini azzi 🥹🥹
- love.
- kill
- me
- now
- let’s go back to me at the bottom of the cliff bleeding out, my pulse is barley there now.
- STWAAAPPPP paige spoils stephie it’s so cute
- YOUR DAUGHTER 🥹🥹🥹🥹
- i can’t tell if that helped or made my pulse worse
- hey so my baby fever is still here and killing me.
- “ONLY FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER.” my pulse just gave out, flatlined, not breathing, dead 🤗 thank you so much.
- YES PAIGE YOU ARE SAFE WITH AZZI.
- JANNNNNAAA MY GIRRLL
- Aunty Chérie you say? hmm i can just smell paige’s jealousy
- “you’re supposed to be holding me and i’m supposed to be holding you; it was meant to be us.” hey so i somehow just died even more😁
- okay here is the thing, i feel for olivia i do. the situation most have been hurtful to her however, CUNT CUNT CUNT DONT U DARE EVEN THINK A NEGATIVE THOUGHT AGAINST THE AMAZING, PERFECT, GORGEOUS, SMART, TALENTED, LOVELY, AZZI FUDD. her and her passive aggressive comments can leave.
- OHHHHH AZZI FUDD, YOU ATE HER UP SHE MAY BE 5th BEST BUT MY GOD AREBU NUMBER ONE BY MILLLLLLLES.
- “if it was azzi” paige babe let’s fast forward to that divorce.
- also paige going on tik tok spirals abt azzi while her wife is in the same room is just WILD and kinda sad almost makes me feel bad for mrs. cunt (my sympathy for her evaporated the second when opened her mouth around azzi 🤬🤬)
- the whole last section. omg. i know i already died then came back to life but i am not FLINGING myself back off the cliff 😁
- GODDDD NIVI u talented, talented women i cant believe how you always are able to amaze me with your writing.
- i’m gonna be honest it’s 2am for me i started reading at 10 and i just finished. i kept having to take breaks because i was screaming, no tears though!
- chapter was 100,000/10
- QUESTIONS FOR NEXT CHAPTER:
- OKAY so ms french girl whose name i can’t remember at the moment is no longer playing with the valkyries… are we gonna get like flashbacks of azzi and her in future chapters?
- this may be dumb but if the olympics were 2028 next ones were, 2032 and its 2033 right? so did the other olympics pass? are we gonna learn more about that? did azzi and paige win gold? IM SO CURIOUS!!!!
- okay that’s all i got i think…sorry for yapping so much!
oh also i kept dying but it’s def gonna keep happening tbh
-🤩🤩
HI MY LOVEEEEEE <3
- You're literally the most precious soul ever and lowkey I really needed to hear that cause I do mayhaps stress just a little bit about updating so thank you :)
- I like that you said you were going to stay away from cliffs and then managed to get through exactly one bullet without jumping off a cliff...
- I lowkey don't know a lot about Tallulah either because I only really have second-hand knowledge of the lives so I'm just lowkey molding her into what works for the plot I guess? But I'm sure she's lovely irl too!
- Circumstance truly is a bitch because I think they're both pretty scared of things beyond their control being an obstacle again
- Baby you really went through it for a couple of paragraphs there huh?
- Listen if I have to suffer through baby fever, you're all suffering with me like I keep having to remind myself that a college dorm is not appropriate for a baby bassinet
- MRS CUNT made me cackle out loud
- Omg not 4 hours babes lmao but I'm glad I still haven't brought you to tears!
- Hmmm I lowkey don't think there will be flashbacks of Clémence like that because her and Azzi's past isn't quite as integral as their present (opposite of Olivia in a sense I guess)
- The next Olympics were in fact 2032...I wonder what happened? I wonder if we'll find out?
Never apologize for yapping, it makes me so happy to hear everyone's thoughts!
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toxooz · 1 year ago
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The canvases aren’t even safe 😭 they used the Boroque era as reference for their search engines. Like I’m losing my shit constantly over ai art so bad. Like this is totally gonna be a rant so forgive me but it’s driving up the WALLS. Ai art being readily available is killing the incentive for people to be creative. I cannot tell you how many times I think I’ve found a really cool fellow artist on tiktok and then see #midjourney. I take psychic damage every time that happens to me. And I’m starting to see it infiltrating business too where they generate ai images instead of hire photographers. I also saw someone selling tshirts with ai art on it at my local farmers market. MOTHERFUCKER THE FARMERS MARKET??? HAVE YOU NO SHAME????
NAW PREACH IT cause its become a nagging issue for me for a while that i simply try to not think about and dwell on but dear FUCKING god is it everywhere and it's painfully obvious too! just about every ad takes me 3 seconds to find damning evidence that its ai and im 99% ready to just delete facebook bc #1 i dont give a fuck abt anyone on there anymore and #2 Literally every other post is the most deplorable ai shit ive ever seen that everyone is carelessly oblivious to i mean total abominations that don't make any sense as an image but ppl share bc its the most bottom of the barrel ''relatable'' shit and that's just the sad reality of it is most people don't even give a shit what they're looking at as long as it looks pretty to their eyes for 3 seconds they don't give a damn
and that's just on basic everyday world shit like u said there's so many mfs i think are decent artists where i legitimately cant tell its ai until i read their fuckshit bio or somethin, like that midjourney i didnt even know it was an ai program i would've just thought it was the name of a video game or some shit! like I feel like I'm kinda turning my back on the whole art community involuntarily bc i just dont trust any image i see most of the time and its fukkin sad i ESPECIALLY feel for the real artists prior to this shitshow who have art styles that now look so much like ai that they basically hijacked to feed the machine like I couldn't imagine spending thousands of dollars on an art college and hours of practice just for your art style to be The Blueprint for empty soulless photos cranked out at inhuman rates by any stupid fucking lazy ass clown like Fuck Man it all sucks so much and the worst part is I just feel like it's one of those things where it will not stop until Something caves and i honestly dont know which one it will be but i just know its only going to get worse idk i try to remember that i can pick up a paintbrush or even whatever the hell i want and make something beautiful while 98% of these ai sacks of shit are just limited to stealing other peoples art on the internet and they couldn't even paint a damn flower if their lives depended on it and if i was stuck on a deserted island I'd probably still find ways to make art with whatever tools and resources i have cause that's an artist baybay but as far as The Internet and its grasp it has on the world and trying to make it as a digital artist and trying to make money from your homemade artwork is very grim man and dont even get me started on art and artists in just about every job field rn my heart goes out to them
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