#i cant keep looking at these every time without crashing out bye

[isatoru]

@rottiens

ISAGI YOICHI: OFF THE FIELD VS ON THE FIELD

[queenoftheworldisdead]

Homecoming

Chapter 3

Summery: Slow burn. You are forced to move back to your home town due to the pandemic. When your high school tormentors return to remind you why you never wanted to come back. This gets darker as it goes. I’m not a good writer folks sorry.

Warning: assault, Kissing,  flash back warning: under age drink, mentions of sexual assault. tried to be very vague and not graphic.

Dark Steve x Black Reader, Dark Bucky x Black Reader Cop AU

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

The drive back home was mostly silent and you were thankful for it. The off duty officer blew through lights and stops signs with ease. Laughing at you whenever you gasped at the yellow light as he mashed the gas to beat the red. With Steve behind the wheel time seemed to drag, with Bucky you were more concerned with making it home in one piece. When you saw your uncle's house finally approach in the distance you started to breathe easier.

Bucky slowed to a crawl, parking in-front while you unbuckled and turn to face the door for a quick escape.

*Click

The locks on the door snapped down the instant you touched the handle.

"Hold up."

Your back stayed facing him as you waited for whatever was to come.

"I'm not going to touch you" his words did not calm you. "You know I haven't seen him this happy in a long time."

It felt like every hair stood up one by one along your arms. This tone was too calm, if you didn't know him maybe you would've thought nothing of it.

"Why did you run?"

You swallowed thickly as you try and think of ways as to not raise his ire.

"He was so crushed when you left"

Of course. He didn't care what they did to you or how you felt. As if he hadn't been there, been apart of it all. As if what he put you through was OK.

"Does it matter anymore?" You felt so drained and you wondered if he could see the defeat in your eyes when you turned to look at him.

And really did it matter? You already felt trapped. With no money there was no hope.

His eyes were wet, but nothing fell from them, it looked like he was holding back a hurt that laid just below the surface. When his hand lifted to cradle your face you stiffened, but didn't pull away. Bucky's callus hand gently felt along your cheek then settled on the back of your neck.

The scenery blurred when he brought your head crashing down on to the dashboard. Throbbing and ringing marinated with this new pain that radiated through your head.

"We had to pickup the pieces of his heart when you skipped town. You broke him Roast. Took him along time to deal with how you left." he growled as he ground your face into the dashboard.

"Bucky! Bucky! Please I'm sorry!" The taste of copper filled your mouth as you screamed. Your lip was busted open and the bridge of your nose felt bruised, you worried it was broken the way it hurt. Every effort to push of the dash was met with heavy resistance by Bucky.

"I'd hate to see him get hurt again Roast." He paused before raising you.

"I'm home... I.. I-I won't run again. Please" You trembled and shook in his grasp while tears streamed down your cheek.

Before you could focus he crashed into yours. The sting from the impact had you hissing on his mouth. With the opening his tongue invaded, swirling around the blood from your lip. Your hands froze in the air, stopping yourself from trying to push him away.

Bucky's other hand began roaming the front of your sweater. You felt your body grow hotter as he touched you. Squeezing and palming your breast through your clothes, if someone were to pass by they would've thought you two were nothing more than an over eager couple.

When he bit your lip you hissed at the pain as more blood trickled down your chin. He trailed bloody kisses down to your neck, his lips sending teasing jolts of electricity throughout your body. You felt his lips start to suck hard on the nape of your neck, the suction from which drew out a soft moan as he moved down further.

"Bucky please...He won't like this" your words stopping him from marking you with a love bite.

Steve loved Bucky like a brother, but he was not fond of his pal playing with his toys without him. Maybe it was due to the fact that Bucky had a tendency to play a little too rough from your experience. Pulling back you notice your blood smeared against his lips. Keeping his hold on you he assess the damage that he's done.

"Shit..." Tilting your head around as he examines you. "Put some ice on"

When he released you shook your head in reply. Unlocking the doors Bucky finally allowed you to leave.

When you walked up to the front door you thought of how to hide your very bruised face. Taking out your key you open the door and then rush to put your hand on your forehead. Looking down you greet your uncle then high tail it to your room.

You here him call out, but you ignore him. Once inside you crumbled against the closed wooden door.

Past: Month before the incident

"Hey" Peggy calls out to you as she catches up in the hall.

"Hey stranger" you jab at your bestie. You were surprised to not see her hanging off Steve's arm.

"I know I've been super flaky lately."

"Might start calling you Kellogg...." You paused for comic relief. "Because of the cereal...like Kellogg Frosted Flakes.. they’re Great!"

"Bad joke" she deadpanned "...anyways. You, me, Steve, James movies tonight!" She was almost giddy at the idea.

"For one I don't even know James. I'm assuming its that guy that's always around Steve? And isn't he dating Wanda, that cheerleader?"

"They broke up like a while a go.... So he is single and super nice. Second it was Steve's idea, so how could he hate you if that was the case? Huh?"

"Why cant 'we' hang out together? Steve is so annoying. He is always fucking with me. I swear he hates me."

You didn't have a problem with Steve, but he seemed to have a problem with you. Anytime you made plans to hang with Peggy she came up with an excuse the last minute. At first you thought that he wanted you out of the picture so that he could have Peggy all to himself, so you bowed out. But it felt like the more space you gave the more annoying he got. So being around Steve willingly didn't seem appetizing.

🍿

You don't know how she convinced you to do this. No wait of course you do. You missed Peggy so much, but you half expected her to cancel and flake on you like she normally did.

When you two arrived the guys were waiting outside the building. As you both walk up the side walk to greet them Peggy formally introduces you.

His square jaw rivaled Steve's, when he smiled your heart fluttered a bit. You had to admit he was a handsome guy.

"Hi, I'm James, but everyone calls me Bucky. Nice to meet you." He introduced as you shyly smile back at him.

After the slightly awkward introductions everyone coupled up and headed into the theater. Finding seats the small group linking up boy, girl, boy, girl. You wanted to sit next to Peggy, but Steve pushed her down to the next seat over.

Through the upcoming trailers you noticed the odd kernel fly in your direction. That's when you knew Steve was up to his usual pranks. His massive arm taking up your arm rest, reaching in your eye-line to pass snacks between him and his buddy, ignoring you.

While Bucky was the perfect gentlemen, offering snacks, letting you take his arm rest. When you started to shiver from the cold he pulled you in, wrapping an arm around and stroking you. Even though you had a crush on someone else he was a welcome distraction.

🍿🍿

At the end of the movie Steve drove everyone home. You sat in the back with James while Peggy sat up front. James's arm outstretched on the back of the seat  as he chatted with you. If you didn't know any better, which you didn't, you would swear he was flirting with you.

You felt a weird sensation throughout the car ride. Looking up you saw Steve lock eyes with you on more than one occasion through the rear view. Shaking it off each time you try to focus on James, but he made it hard to concentrate. Dropping you home first you tell James to call you then wave bye to everyone as you walk up to your house.

🍿🍿🍿

The next day at school James sported a black eye and a bruised cheek. You tried to ask him what happened when you saw him in the hall, but he walked past ignoring you.

In class you asked Peggy if something happened when you left, but she too had no clue. Just explaining it away as some rough housing that must've happened after she got dropped home.

You noticed him a few more times throughout the day, but you stop completely when you saw him wrapped around Wanda. The beautiful cheerleader coddled his face examining the wounds. You weren't looking to start anything with James, but he made you want think otherwise. it was so odd that he would even go out with you if he was still with her and then completely ignore you. You also had the misfortune to see Steve watch you realize that fact. The smile on his face let you know this was all some sick prank he must've cooked up. Turning down the wrong hallway you rush away fuming and holding in tears of embarrassment.

Present

Early the next day you sat in front of the Pawnshop until the 'Open' sign turned on . Thinking now that maybe you should've taken the bus here instead of your Uncle's truck. But then the other half of you didn't want to be spotted at the outside waiting a the bus stop. As the light came on you hurried out of the truck and over to the shop door. When you entered Moscow's Pawn the bell chimed alerting the redhead to your presence.

The shop was filled with pawned goods like bikes, lawn mowers and a glass case full of guns behind the register. You were the first one in the shop, but you weren't sure for how long.

Before you left home you went into the garage and stole your uncles old tool box. The weight of the box wasn't heavier than the guilt you held from your thievery.

"Hello, I'm Nat! Welcome how can I help you today?" She greeted you as you approached.

"Um.. what can I get for these?" you lift the box, plopping it down on the counter.

"Are these yours or stolen?"

"They're mine. I mean they are my Uncles. But he gave me permission." You stuttered a bit at the accusation.

She cocked a brow at you, but didn't press. Taking the box from you and examining the contents, lifting each up one by one. Letting out a big sigh before she spoke. When she started looking too hard at your face you looked down at the floor. The bruises Bucky left you with were covered a bit with concealer and your mask so you were confident enough to push through with your plan. "I can give you a hundred for it all." She said while closing the box.

"I'll take it" you could tell she was low-balling you, but you didn't care. Those tools were worth more than that, but you didn't have time to haggle. This would be more than enough for a bus ticket out. Your uncle would be pissed for sure, but you would pay him back when you got back on your feet.

"OK well I need your ID to process it."

You started to panic and you could tell she knew something was off.

"Look its policy. I know you said it's your uncle's, but just encase its not... my ass is covered if he files a police report for stolen goods." The word 'police' had you more nervous than before.

"OK, OK." You dug in your purse and got out your ID. The redhead took it from you and entered in your information. You worried for a bit, but you knew your uncle would be the last person to call the cops for missing tools.

When she handed it back she also passed you the money. You bid her adieu and headed toward the door.

When your hand hit the handle your heart stopped. Through the bard glass door you saw a patrol car pass the shop. Holding your breath you watched it as it disappeared down the street.

Past: Week before the incident

"He is such a prude or super religious. You know we haven't even done it yet." Peggy said frustrated as she sat across from you at the small coffee shop. Steve was at an away game and without a car she found time to finally hang out with you.

"That's surprising seeing as how much you two go at it whenever I see you" you remarked while drinking your iced tea. Anytime you were stuck with the love birds they were nauseatingly affectionate.

"I know right. Gawd he gets me so riled up and then nothing. So frustrating... Any who I want to have a party at my house this weekend for my birthday."

You cocked a suspicious brow at her. Peggy had never been into school dances let alone parties, before Steve she was a book worm that enjoyed small simple quite nights in.

"Isn't your birthday next month?"

"Yes, but my folks are going out of town soooo..." She looked at you so innocently. Your heart always fluttered a bit when she did that.

"I want to, but ever since that movie thing Bucky acts weird whenever I try and speak to him while Steve has just gotten worse." It was true it was one thing to annoy you at school, but he was bringing your Uncle into the mix. Police were called to the house on several occasions. Telling your uncle there was a report of women's screams coming from the house, it took half an hour to convince them otherwise without incident. Then the prank calls started. The calls were at the same time every night and wouldn't stop until you turned off the phones. Not to mention you were getting tired of having to clean the shattered eggs and toilet paper that decorated the lawn.

"I spoke to Steve when you told me about what's been happening and he promised me that it wasn't him. He is such a sweetheart once you get to know him...Come on please...for me?" Peggy pleaded. You wanted to believe her, but your gut knew better.

"Since its your birthday I will make this one exception" She squealed at your answer. "But if he start anything I'm gone."

🎂

The house was already a disaster. You weren't sure who, how or when kegs were brought in, but red cups could be seen within every corner of the room. Everyone was very drunk and rowdy except for you.

You kept stuck around Peg as she clung to Steve. "Oh oh oh theres James" Peggy shouted over the music. She caught the handsome boys attention, screaming his name repeatedly from across the room, he made his way over and you felt instantly awkward.

Not knowing were to look as he approached you turn away only to find Peggy locking lips with Steve again.

"Sickening isn't it" James voice brushed your ear. Giving him your full attention you were surprised he was even talking to you.

"You have no idea. The only time I see her now a days is when she is attached to him." You joke, you hear him chuckle and you wonder if maybe he had a twin. This guy's vibe was way different than the Bucky that walked the halls of your school.

"Can I get you a drink? Believe me it makes the sight of it a lot easier" James did have a point, you were only young once. It was getting boring just watching the show.

Breaking from Peggy Steve interrupts "Where's Wanda?"

Welp that confirmed he was indeed the same guy that ignores your existence at school. Looking up at the sly dog you wait for him to confirm. Bucky shouted something to Steve over the music, but you couldn't tell what.

"You know what? A drink sounds like a good idea." You break from the small group and find a keg yourself.

The silver barrel was a strange contraption to you. With the red cup in your hand you try and figure out how to use it. Steve snatched your cup and placed it on your head like a party hat. " Really Steve!"

"Here let me" James takes the cup from your head and pours beer into the cup. Handing it back to you, you take it and take a big gulp. That was a mistake as the taste was horrid, coughing uncontrollable as they laugh at you.

🎂🎂

The buzz hit almost instantly. You were dancing to your own beat despite the music. Peggy even grabbed your hands and danced with you. She looked so beautiful tonight, your heart wanted to explode in your chest when she hugged you tightly, whispering and giggling in your ear. It took a bit of self control not to kiss her in the moment.  

Who knew alcohol could be so much fun.

The room started to swirl at some point.

Hands held on to you, steadying you against them as the room spun on.

"Bucky take care of her for me" a voice broke through your cloud. The music of the party had died down, things weren't as loud as before and you wondered what the time was. When you tried to look it was as if everything was underwater, blurry and fuzzy, moving giving you motion sickness.

You couldn't hear his reply, but you were sure Steve walked off with Peggy so they could have some fun. With an arm around your waist you were led away too. Bucky whispered something in your ear, but it felt off, his voice didn't sound right.

When you blinked you were on your back. The fabric of a comforter rubbed against your palms.

Blinking again you felt something heavy on you, but it was a struggle to focus still. The lights were on in the room, but you couldn't register the features of the person on top of you. Your head was so clouded, your limps too heavy to lift as you try and create a distance between you too.

"Buoockkky.."You felt as if your mouth was filled with cement, your words were a jumble as you try and talk. A figure lowered down and kissed you. Turning your head to the side was the only movement you could manage. The unwanted kissing didn't stop, moving your head back their tongue deepened within your mouth as you try to cry out in protest.

Blinking this time you weren't sure how long it took to get your eyes open. The air was much colder than you remembered sending a shiver throughout your body. Something licked on your chest and you yelp pathetically at the sensation.

"Mmm" you moaned as it sucked and kissed so tenderly at parts of you. It felt so good, your body just wanted to give into it all. Looking down you were sure you were seeing things as Bucky's hair looked just as wrong as his voice. "No..." You managed to get out, but when you repeated it it didn't sound the same.

The next blink welcomed you to an unfamiliar pain between your thighs. It shot up through your core and you wanted desperately to escape it. You tried to lift your legs and arms but it felt like you forgot how to move them.

"Thats.. it .." His voice panted through your subconscious. You felt like you were a rag doll when someone moved your legs around, spreading them open as you blacked out again.

"Oww.." You hissed out waking up to shooting pains. "Hurt.." Words still failing to be put together. Every syllable taking more and more energy from you.

"Shh.. shhh" the voice hushed you as the pain permeated through you.

There was something stretching you so much so that you whimpered at the fullness.

You heard a familiar voice pant your name, praising you, but it was so floaty you weren't sure if it were real. Your eyes fell shut again before you could register it all.

The world around you felt so warm and fuzzy. You tried opening your eyes again, but they were just too heavy. It didn't matter now as the gentle rocking of the room lulled you to sleep.    

🎂🎂🎂

The light coming from the window seemed to amplify the pounding in your head. You weren't sure when you got in bed with Peggy, but you were sure that if this was what it felt like to drink you would never do it again. The last thing you remember was dancing with her then everything went black.

When you moved your legs there was a shooting pain and soreness between your thighs and it felt as if you peed yourself. Patting the mattress you felt the reminisce of wetness, lifting your hand to your face you saw blood. Your period must've started in the middle of the night. Peggy would never let you live down bleeding on her bed that was for sure.

Present

When you leave this time you were going to stay gone, no matter what. Finding an apartment that didn't care about what name you put on the lease or sleep in a shelter if you had to. Just like before you would get a job that paid under the table maybe another waitress job somewhere along the way. It might take a while to get over the paranoia of him finding you and dragging you back. But eventually you could move on. Move to a better neighborhood find a better job and live free again.

The drive back from the Pawn shop had you a bit on edge by now you were sure that your uncle would be up and wondering about his truck. You had half a mind to go to the bus station now and just mail him his truck keys, but you didn't want to burn that bridge.

At every light, corner or stop sign you had an eye out for their patrol car as well. Pulling into your Uncle's driveway you park. It took a moment before you could move.  You didn’t want to find out if your uncle found his truck and tools gone just yet.

*Buzz Buzz

Grabbing your bag from the passenger seat you dig out your cell. Your fingers itched as you began unlocking your phone. Praying in your head that Steve had not been in the cop car you saw at the pawn shop. Praying that he wasn't going to punish you.

MSG Steve: Morning! MSG Steve:(...typing)

Chapter 4>>>>

[friendlyneighborhoodspider-man]

cheatercheaterbestfriendeater-- Peter Parker x Reader

a/n: this is the first time I’ve written for peter parker. mainly because I listened to this song last night and can’t get it out of my head. so. angst. that’s it, that’s the story. oh, and also a fair amount of smut (18+).

Yeah, you sure broke my heart last week,

When you said you had slept with her.

I know you called, I got them all.

La, da, da, da, da, da.

It started with a text  from Ned Leeds. 

-Hey, next time you and Peter go at it in our apartment can you keep it down? I couldn’t sleep last night and my CompSci midterm was today.

-I was home all night??

-oh… nvm then

-wait ned what do you mean ‘going at it?’

-nevermind gtg bye

-NED

Then, your roommate MJ showed up at your apartment 20 minutes later. ���Sorry I forgot to text you last night, I crashed at Neds place because it was closer to that party.” All it took was one glance to tell that she was hiding something from you. The two of you had no secrets. Until now.

“What is that on your neck?” You pointed out the bruise lying there just below her ear. “Did you meet someone last night at the party?” She flushed and looked away from you.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“I-- I have class.” You said shakily and got as far from the building. Completely sick to your stomach, you stopped at Delmars on the way to your lecture and picked up a sprite and some crackers.

“Hon, you don’t look like you feel too well.” Mr. Delmar said as he handed you your stuff. “Maybe you should stay home today.”

“Yeah, maybe.” You agreed and headed back in the direction you came. MJ was in the shower when you got home, but had conveniently left her phone sitting on the table. You picked it up and put in her passcode to see her recent texts.

Parker: mj we need to talk about last night

             i cant keep doing this

            we have to tell y/n, i can’t do this behind her back.

 You turned and retched into the sink behind you. You were wiping off your face when MJ came out in a towel. “You okay?” She asked you.

“Screw you.” You stared coldly at her before running to your room and slamming the door behind you.

She knocked on your door asking you to open up until she eventually gave up and left. 

An hour later, you got your first text from Peter, followed by the torrent of messages that followed

-can we talk?

-baby please answer me

-mj called me, what happened with you guys?

-hello?

-baby i’m so sorry

8 missed calls from my heart

-i need you to talk to me

-it was just a mistake

-please please please answer your phone

-i love you

Boy, you better love what you got,

Before you go and give it away.

Your phone buzzed for the millionth time on the table, just across from you. You stared bitterly at it, hoping it would go away, that the calls would stop coming, while praying for the exact opposite at the same time. Every ounce of you wanted to throw it at the wall, while the buzzing stopped and started immediately again. If they stopped, you could finally get some peace and quiet and maybe you would have a chance to forget that anything had happened just long enough to go to sleep.

The tap on your bedroom window knocked you out of your daze. You looked over and saw the unmasked boy perched on the windowsill outside of your room, and immediately shut the blinds and the curtains. The tap came again, and you could hear him saying “Please, y/n, please just give me a chance. I can fix this.”

“Go away, Peter.” You shouted through a hoarse voice. You felt your eyes starting to burn with tears again and you furiously wiped them away. “Just go.”

But, don't say that I don't know you.

'Cause, oh, I know, all about your type.

You're the type of guy, that texts all day, and talks all night.

When you left your apartment the next day, eyes red rimmed  and puffy, he was standing there. “Please, Y/N, I’m so, so sorry.” He had been crying too, you could tell, but you ignored him and kept walking. He held onto the strap of your backpack trying to hold you back and you turned to face him.

“Peter, I can’t look at you right now. Just go.”

“It was just once, please, listen to me--”

“That’s not what those texts said.” You hadn’t gone through them, you’d only seen the ones on the lock screen, but the look on his face confirmed what you needed to know. As your eyes began to tear up again, you wiped them away and sighed. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Y/N--”

“I have class.” You yanked the strap of your bag from his hand, and he let you. 

 And, oh, I know, that you are feeling sad

I don't feel bad.

'Cause, even after three text messages, four missed calls,

You still slept with my best friend.

 Two weeks later you met Brad Davis at a bar in downtown NYC. He had chatted you up in your psych class, and offered to meet up for a drink to catch up sometime. You had debated whether or not you should go for hours before throwing on a cute outfit and heading to meet him.

Now, here you were three drinks later. “I heard about what Parker did.” He finally said  while he stirred his glass. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” You sighed. 

“For what it’s worth though,” he looked up and met your eyes. “A girl like you deserves the stars and moon, and Peter Parker is an even bigger idiot than I thought if he doesn’t see that.” He stared at you for a moment, before continuing. “I’m not here to take advantage of you, because I know you’re still healing from everything. But as a friend, I’m here for whatever you need. And one day, if you’re ready and willing, maybe more.”

“Brad, I--”

“Another round for me and the lady.” He told the bartender, and you warmed up a little inside. “After this, I’m taking you home.” Brad told you. “We have a test in psych tomorrow and I won’t be the reason we fail.”

Yeah, you sure got a lot of nerve,

To say that this was all my fault.

I know you called, I got them all.

La, da, da, da, da, da.

You finally checked your voicemail a week later. It was full of messages from Peter, and a few from MJ-- who you had yet to see in weeks.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s MJ.  I know you’re mad at me, but I hope we can still be friends. I-- we didn’t do this to hurt you, it just happened. I get that you need space, and I want to give it to you, so just call me or text me when you are ready.”

“My love, I’m so…. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Please answer me, I know we can get through this.”

“Locked windows… I know you’re upset, but we can’t talk this out if you won’t let me explain. I love you. Please call me back.”

“Baby I love you, please don’t do this.”

They went on and on, asking for forgiveness and to talk, until the last two.

“I love you, but you’re being a bitch. Honestly, Y/N, I thought you were more mature than this. I can’t talk to you if you won’t let me.”

“This is your fault. We didn’t have to break up if you would have just listened to me and let me explain myself. You’re no saint either. I guess this means that we’re over.”

You took a deep breath before deleting all of them. They didn’t matter anymore. It hurt, cutting off two of your best friends since high school, but this was for the best. 

Boy, you better love what ya got,

Before you go, and give it away.

But, don't say that I don't know you.

'Cause, oh, I know, all about your type.

You're the type of guy, that texts all day, and talks all night.

And, oh, I know, that you are feeling sad

I don't feel bad.

'Cause, even after three text messages, four missed calls,

You still slept with my best friend.

Ned had already reached out to you and apologized for everything, and told you he still wanted to be friends if it was possible. You had told him of course, because he didn’t do anything wrong. He genuinely hadn’t known about this until you did, and you couldn’t blame him for their actions. The two of you met up for coffee one morning to catch up.

“I miss you, Y/N.” Ned told you after giving you a big hug. “Things are… weird without you being around all the time.”

“Eventually it will become your new normal.” You told him with a shrug. “I’m not going back, I can’t.”

“I get it.” He said while you sipped your drink. “I still feel bad though. It isn’t fair to you.”

“Peter and MJ can fuck off for all I care,” you lied. “I don’t care to see them galavanting around together.”

“Wait… you don’t know?” He asked you, and you raised a brow. “Peter and MJ aren’t together anymore. They tried for like a week but broke things off pretty fast. Turns out they can’t stand each other in large doses.”

“Huh.” Was all you said.

“Anyways, I built a new model the other day…”

So, I sing, rain, rain, go away, come again another day.

When I say, it's okay, to give a little hell to pay.

And, every single time you make your way into my sheets

The hours move to minutes,

The days turn, into weeks.

Peter was waiting outside your door when you got home from class one Friday afternoon. “Y/N,” he breathed.

“Peter.” You sighed. “What do you want?” 

His eyes took you in up and down in your favorite dress. “Just-- this.” He pressed a hungry kiss to your lips, and you felt your resolve melting away under his touch. He held you tightly to him as he backed you up flush to the door. You broke away while he kissed down your neck.

“Inside… neighbors…” You got out and he quickly opened your door before picking you up and carrying you inside, lips never breaking from your body.

“I’ve missed you…” He pressed a kiss against your neck while he tugged your dress up your hips and sat you on the edge of your bed.

“Peter!” You gasped as he knelt in front of the bed, holding your thighs apart and placing his head against your inner thigh. He looked up at you. 

“Tell me.” He said.

“Yes.” You answered quickly. As much as you hated to admit it, heat was pooling in your lower belly and you couldn’t say no even if it was what was better for you. You could feel his hot breath on your most sensitive places, and he darted his tongue out to tease you through your lace panties. Gently, he pulled your panties down past your ankles and threw them to the side before continuing his earlier motions minus the barrier. As his tongue circled your clit, you cried out.

“You’re so wet, and all for me.” He licked a stripe up your pussy before sucking hard on your nub and pulling away. He started teasing you with his tongue while entering a finger inside of you and finding that special place. Quickly adding a second, he continued circling your clit with his tongue and bringing you close to the edge.

He stood up too soon and left you crying out for more. “Not so fast, princess.” He unbuckled his belt and pulled his boxers and pants down with one swift motion. You didn’t know when he had lost his shirt, but you stopped thinking about it when he entered you in one swift motion. “Fuck!” You cried out.

“Your pretty little pussy all full with my cock,” He grunted as he thrust inside of you quickly and roughly. “Have you missed this? Missed me?”

“Peter…” was all you could reply. He lifted one of your legs to rest against his shoulder as he continued pounding into you, and you moaned out as he hit you just right. “Oh my god Peter, don’t stop, please, don’t stop--” 

The ball that had quickly been forming inside of your belly unwound quickly as you saw stars. “Fuck,” Peter got out before stilling inside of you and finishing. He laid down on the bed beside you as you both caught your breath and basked in the afterglow.

“Is that all you came here for?” You asked, as you remembered why you had broken up in the first place.

“Of course not. Y/N, god, I’ve missed you.”

“I don’t want to get back together.” You stated as you got out of bed and quickly redressed. “I don’t even know why we just did this.”

“You miss me, I know you do.” He said, catching his boxers as you threw them at him. “We can fix this, and be better-- I’ll be better--”

“That’s just the thing, Peter.” You said quietly. “I miss you. But I don’t want to miss you. I want to do better for myself. This-- this isn’t good for me anymore.”

“Oh, so fucking Brad Davis is what’s good for you?” He replied sharply. “You can’t look at this-- what we just did-- and say we aren’t good for each other.”

“We aren’t good for each other, Peter.” You shouted at him. “So what, we fucked? Sex doesn’t make a relationship. I want someone I can trust with my life, with the life of my children, and build a home with. I can’t live my life with someone when I’m constantly worried that I won’t be enough!”

“You are enough, I swear--”

“For now.” You cut him off. “I’m enough for now, until the next girl. And the girl after that. Until you have to prioritize saving the world over being here with me. I-- I don’t want to live my life second to everything when it comes to you.”

“You were never second, Y/N.” He said sadly. “I have always loved you.”

“I think you should leave.” You said quietly, quietly enough to where he wouldn’t have heard you if it weren’t for his super senses.

“Fine.” He finished dressing. “I’m leaving, if that’s what you want. I won’t be back.”

 And, I know, you're so cool, but I must be a fool.

For taking you in, and letting you win control of my heart.

And every single time you make your way into my sheets,

The hours move to minutes,

The days turn into weeks.

Brad Davis picked you up from your apartment a week later in black jeans and a button down. “You look stunning.” He spoke in your ear while he hugged you close. As he pulled away, he handed you a single white rose. You felt your cheeks redden and let him inside to put the flower in a vase with water.

“You are quite handsome yourself.”

This was your first official date with Brad. You had been hanging out pretty much every weekend and a lot of weeknights studying together and watching movies. After you ended things with Peter you had told yourself it was time to move on before you made a mistake like what happened in your room again.

After dinner, the two of you walked around Central Park while you talked. You were walking by the garden when he slowed down, coming to a full stop directly underneath a tall oak tree. “I have a question.”

“Shoot.” You laughed nervously.

“Are you really over Parker?” He asked.

“I… I think so? He came over last week to talk and we ended things officially. Things had been pretty much over before then, but that was the first time I had said it.”

“Said what?”

“That I didn’t want him back. That I deserved better. That that was the end of the road for us, and that he wasn’t who I am supposed to be with.”

A flash of red and blue caught your eye through the branches of a tree overhead from where the streetlight was shining. You shook your head and looked back at Brad. “Thank you, for everything. You’ve been-- just, amazing these past few weeks.”

“I told you already, you deserve the world. I just hope I can be the one to give it to you.”

“Walk me home?” You looked up at him shyly, an unsaid question in your eyes.

“Of course, my lady.” He bent to kiss your hand and headed in the direction of your apartment.

Rain, rain, go away, come again another day.

When I say, it's okay, to give a little hell, to pay.

And, every single time you make your way into my sheets

The hours move to minutes,

The days turn, into weeks.

“Last box?” You asked Brad as he carried it through the doors of his apartment on the upper west side.

“Yeah,” he huffed as he set it down. “Takeout okay for dinner?”

“Absolutely babe.” You kissed his cheek. “You know my order.”

A few minutes later he left to go pick up your food from your favorite chinese place. You were sorting through your boxes when you heard a tap on the balcony. Looking up, you saw none other than your friendly neighborhood spiderman.

“Hey.” You said as you joined him in the crisp fall air. “What are you doing here?”

“Just checking in.” He said cooly, but you could hear the pain in his voice. 

“I’m doing fine, and so is Brad. Since you’re checking in.” You told him.

“Just-- out of all the people in this city, Brad Davis?”

“Yeah, what about it?” You cocked your hip and ran a hand through your hair. “I will always care about you Pete, but I’ve moved on. I’m happy. Can’t you be happy for me?”

“Yeah, sure.” He said without looking at you and jumped onto the balcony ledge. “Stay safe, Y/N.”

And I know, you're so cool, but I must be a fool.

For taking you in and letting you win control of my heart.

And, every single time you make your way into my sheets,

The hours move to minutes,

The days turn into weeks. 

Oh, I know, all about your type.

“I missed you.” Brad picked you up and set you on the kitchen counter when he got home. You set down the knife you had been using to cut up some carrots and smiled at him, running a hand through his hair. 

“I missed you too.” You kissed him quickly. “But I am in the middle of making dinner. I wanted to surprise you when you got home and now it’s ruined.”

He turned off the stove where you were boiling some water and kissed you. “I think..” he spoke against your skin as he trailed kisses down to your collar and played with the hem of your t-shirt, “that dinner can wait.”

He held your face in his hands as he kissed you fervently, pressing his body against yours. You could feel his hardness pressed against your thigh, and you scooted forwards to wrap your legs around his middle, grinding lightly against him. “I would have to agree.” You said as you nipped at his ear, and he picked you up so that you were still wrapped around him. 

He took you to the couch in the living room and tossed you down while your hands made quick work of his belt buckle. He lifted your t-shirt over your head and you kicked your shorts and underwear off while he finished undressing himself.

“Shit.” He said as you wrapped him in your hand and pumped him slowly, spreading his precum down the shaft. He handed you a condom and you slowly unrolled it down his length, pressing a light kiss to the tip when you were finished.

He climbed onto the couch and hovered over you while he slowly slid inside of you. You moaned while he slowly fucked you, holding your hips so tight they might leave bruises as he slid almost all the way out and thrust back in to the hilt. “Faster,” you cried out.

He complied, and you found yourself coming to the edge and crashing over. Brad didn’t let up, and continued thrusting into you. When it was over, your legs were shaking and he was sweating.

 “I love you.” He turned to you and pressed a quick kiss to your lips.

“I love you too.” You smiled at him. “But I think we might need to order in, because I’m not sure if I will be able to stand long enough to make dinner.”

“That’s my fault.” He said, but he couldn’t hide the smirk that flitted across his features. “I’ll go pick up some Delmars.”

“That is why I love you.” You grinned. “Make it quick.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” He laughed as he pulled on his pants and shirt. “I’ll be back soon.”

As the door shut behind you, you saw a peek of blue and red from the balcony across from yours, and the eyes behind the mask made eye contact with yours before swinging away into the horizon. You suddenly became very aware of your state and pulled on your shorts and shirt. Did he see you? You wondered. I must be imagining it.

You're the type of girl, that texts all day, and talks all night.

And, oh, I know, that you are feeling sad, I don't feel bad

'Cause, even after three text messages, four missed calls,

You still slept with my best friend.

8 missed messages and 6 missed calls from: parker

-i know you miss me

-don’t do this

-i promise you ive changed

-we can do better

-y/n, don’t give up on me

-we were meant to be

-you’re going to regret this

-i love you

You turned your phone off and looked yourself over in the mirror, silently cursing Ned for telling Peter about today. Everyone kept telling you that you were a vision in your dress. It was beautiful, and you barely recognized yourself in the mirror. The woman standing there was flawless, ethereal-- she looked like a bride.

This was it, for you. You could feel it. Brad was your soulmate. You had thought you had found one in Peter, even for a while after you broke up. But as time went on, you had realized that while you loved him, there was no way you could be happy with him. Brad was it for you. He was the one person you couldn’t live a lifetime without.

Someone knocked on the door to your bridal suite where you were waiting for your dad to get you to go down the aisle. You opened, and the man on the other side quickly slid in and locked the door behind him. “Just hear me out.”

“I’m getting married. I don’t need this today.” You shook your head at him. Peter ran a hand through his hair, looking crazed and out of control. 

“You weren’t picking up and-- I just miss you so much, and I know that this isn’t how all of this is supposed to happen.”

“Oh?” You said angrily. “Let me guess: you realized that you ruined the best thing to ever happen to you, and you expect me to feel bad. Well guess what? I don’t. No matter how many times you apologize, you can’t change the fact that you slept with my best friend. I can’t forget that. I won’t. I am happy now, so let me be happy. Just go.”

He blinked through tears before stalking out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him. And you knew it was over, for good. You turned back to the mirror and adjusted your veil. You would come second to no one, not now, and not ever again.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if 

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good,  the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

[jeonggukingdom]

splinters of love • day XIII [kth]

pairing  ⟶ kim taehyung x fem!Reader

summary  ⟶ a collection of drabbles (one for each day of April) based on prompts by an online prompts’ generator site. Specifically  ⟶  • day XIII ↳ in which you and Taehyung have split up but you bought Yeontan together and neither of you wants to part ways with it so you decide to alternate days to take care of him which turns up meaning you have to frequently see each other and well, maybe the feelings weren’t as dead as you both thought they were.

genre  ⟶ angst, fluff

rating  ⟶ G

word count ⟶ 1.625 words

warnings  ⟶ none really but it does tug a little on your heartstrings so, beware of that I guess lol

series masterlist  ⟶ here  (links on mobile may not work, if you’re looking for all the works in this series, you can click on the “!splintersoflove” tag and you’ll find them all there!)

Yeontan barks happily, wiggling his tail left and right at the sight of Taehyung and his box smile—the one you fell in love with.

You cant’ help but smile as he crouches down, open his arms and welcomes the small dog in a little embrace that owns him enough kisses on the nose to make him giggle.

The sight is precious, sweet and it warms your heart in ways you didn’t think possible anymore.

Ever since you decided to break up, you have been seeing each other once a week to drop Yeontan to each other’s care and though it wasn’t easy at first, it has now become something akin to a routine and surprisingly, it has stopped hurting as much as it did in the beginning.

This time it is different. Taehyung has been out of the country for three entire weeks due to work and that means that Yeontan has been with you all this time, missing his other owner like crazy.

Even though it still pains you to get separated from your dog, on this occasion you are happy that he gets to see Taehyung again. After all, Yeontan loves the both of you equally and this agreement you have going on between the two of you is not only out of selfishness for yourselves but also for his well-being.

You smile as Taehyung lifts his gaze on you, his eyes shining with true happiness as Yeontan keeps licking his face excitedly as if he hadn’t seen him in years. In a way, you suspect that to be true under a dog’s prespective.

“He missed you so much,” you say as Taehyung picks Yeontan up to stand on his feet and finally face you properly.

You notice immediately the tan on his already golden skin—hell, he seems to glow under the sunlight as if he were made out of true, pure gold.

His hair seems longer, curlier as it partially covers his onyx eyes. He looks stunning as always, if not even better.

Your heart loses a beat as you stare at him and immediately doubt twists your insides. 

“Ah, I missed him too, so damn much!” Taehyung says before kissing the top of his little head, smiling at him as if he could understand his every word.

You chuckle at the sweet sight and Taehyung’s eyes switch back on you and you do not fail to notice how the warmth in them remains the same—something you were rather used to—while at first, it would completely disappear when looking down at you.

You didn’t have a terrible break-up but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt the both of you. After five years together, living under the same roof, it was hard to admit that you didn’t love each other anymore, that your relationship could not keep going like that when you were both clearly unhappy in it.

He clears his throat, shaking you from your thoughts and the smile on his lips turns sheepish as he keeps looking at you, taking in every little detail of your face.

“Would you like to come in?”

The question surprises you. He has never offered before and, why would he, honestly?

All those months apart, you hadn’t set a single foot inside his new house just as much as he didn’t come in your once-shared apartment any longer.

Usually, you would have declined the invitation, turned on your heels and just kept going with your usual plans but, today it feels different.

Well, it has been feeling different for a while now, even though you haven’t been completely honest with yourself by admitting it.

Somewhere down the line, you started missing him.

So you nod your head yes before you can stop yourself and then, you follow him inside his apartment before you can register completely what you are doing.

His apartment is nice, simple but warm and it makes you smile because it is so like him. It’s not like the apartment you shared together that was a fine mixture of both of your characters and tastes.

This is purely Taehyung and it’s beautiful. The ambient is full of things you’re already familiar with, full of pictures—and surprisingly, some have even you in it amongst a group of friends you both share—and full of his scent.

It’s so familiar it makes your heart ache in your chest and so the uneasiness inside of you grows.

You barely notice Taehyung speaking, Yeontan barking and running around the house as he gets acquainted back to the apartment.

“Hey, are you ok?”

Taehyung is in your line of view now, so close you can actually smell his cologne and it is so overwhelming you almost stop breathing right then and there.

You would love to say yes, to keep going as if nothing happened but you can’t because now, seeing him after those weeks and having him this close after those many months apart, it is impossible to lie to yourself again.

You’re still in love with him.

You take in a sharp breath as Taehyung’s hand comes to rest on your shoulder, his entire face morphing into a worried expression that you cannot tolerate for a single second more. So you take a step back, away from his grasp, his cologne, his everything.

“This was a mistake,” you push out of your mouth in a broken whimper that has goosebumps gathering on your flesh.

You turn around, you don’t wait to see the stupor on his features, you don’t wait for him to retort something, hell, you don’t even say bye to Yeontan as you usually would.

You practically run out of his apartment and well, you almost do run as the fresh air of the evening hits your face but suddenly there is a hand around your wrist, tugging on it until you come to a halt and turn around to face him.

Taehyung is right there, his mouth agape, his eyes big as they stare at you, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in confusion.

“Did I say something wrong?” He asks, almost breathless and you shake your head no because of course, he didn’t, but you almost wish you could tell him that yes, he has said and done so many wrong things you can’t stand the sight of him a second longer. But that would be a lie, and a horrific one at that.

“No,” you reply, not trusting yourself to add more to it without opening up your heart to him.

This is wrong. You are not together anymore and for a reason and you can’t do this to him—or even to yourself, for that matter.

“Then talk to me,” he says and suddenly he is cupping your cheeks and you are staring inside his beautiful eyes and it’s too much, so damn much.

Tears gather in your eyes, they cloud your vision and strangle you from within and you can’t believe you are breaking like this in front of him, allowing him to see through all the cracks and peer inside at your naked soul, the very one he used to hold in the palm of his hands so easily and with so much care.

“I still love you,” the words leave your mouth in a whisper that breaks you apart. Yet, it’s also somewhat of a relief because the heavy stone that was sitting on your heart all this time, is suddenly gone.

What is it that they say? With truth comes liberation.

You hear Taehyung take in a sharp breath and your eyes close as you brace yourself for the inevitable moment he is going to let go of you as if you were the scorching sun, turn back on his heels and close the door to his apartment. As he should, after all.

You have no right to be saying this, not after all you’ve been through, but yet you have said it and it is the utter, bitter truth and you can’t take it back now, gulp it down and push it down your guts as you’ve been doing for weeks.

Your heart skips a beat.

And then another.

And then it is beating frantically against your ribcage, making you dizzy.

Your knees buckle but his hands are wrapped around your hips tightly enough to keep you standing, locked in place as he crashes his lips on top of yours. Your mouth opens with a soft sigh that he avidly gulps down as he pulls you into him.

You lose yourself inside the kiss, you wrap your arms around his neck, pull him into you, fingers lost in the curly locks of his hair and… you feel whole again.

Tears stream down your cheeks as he keeps kissing you like this, in the middle of the street.

It feels like a homecoming.

And then you are both laughing, caressing each other’s faces, shaking your heads, stealing kisses from each other as you used to do when you were still together.

You missed this. All of this, all of him. So damn much. And you hadn’t even realized it.

Yeontan’s bark is what wakes you both from your stupor, bringing you back to reality.

Your hands find each other naturally as you walk into Taehyung’s apartment one more but this time with genuine smiles and weightless hearts.

“Hey buddy,” Taehyung says as he crouches down in front of your dog to scratch his favourite spot behind his ear, “Looks like mom and daddy are back together.”

You smile at that, interlace your fingers with his and as Yeontan excitedly barks at the both of you, you chuckle and join the both of them on the floor.

A new beginning.

Copyright © 2020 by jeonggukingdom. All rights reserved. Do not repost, do not steal, do not translate without consent.

[rainingspellforlove]

shouldn’t have

hi im back with another fic >< but it’s eunhae’s uwu. read this while listening to raining spell for love to experience more angst ;;-;; enjoy my first eunhae’s  fic and my first angst fic! 

listen to raining spell for love : 

https://open.spotify.com/track/7j4r8X575ZnyWk0jkukNp7?si=irOj7OmgRFynzGCaL754dg

It's been so wrong. Hyukjae always feels it so wrong. But he did loving him. He's already falling deep. But now it cant be anymore. This is impossible. He shouldn’t have loved him from the start. He knew he's always been wrong for having this feeling. He knew  it will  break himself someday. He knew he will be in this state of the worst heartbreak ever. But how can he (un)love this angel? He had already fallen. Fallen for him too deep.The fact he's been in love for his one and only best friend is already hurting. The one who's been always with him from his early days until now.   But now, he's shattered. 

Hyukjae and donghae still been friends till now. 20 years old friendship. They had been known each other since their middle school days. it’s been so long. They went through a lot till today. They overcome all of their problems together and they depend on each other a lot. Everyone will say they have their unique friendship. They always been so close and too many things that only of them understand. They’re just too close. They had many similarities in their own way. People said that it’s too much similarities for them to have and their chemistry is so unbelievably amazing. It’s like they are naturally meant for each other. Just like a pair of shoes. 

It’s so natural and a common thing to say they always crash at each other’s houses. That was before eunhyuk moved back to the dorm. back then donghae always comes to eunhyuk’s apartment almost everyday. and vice versa. but it mostly donghae who asked to come or donghae just comes to eunhyuk’s without notice. They always been like this. Donghae who likes skinships a lot while eunhyuk just lets donghae do whatever to him. Maybe some people will think that their moments are just fanservice but thats just how they are. they’re just being the way they are. 

They always rely on each other a lot actually. They almost didnt keep a secret between each other. they knew each other too well more than any other members. They even knew each other’s individual schedule or events. like who who will eunhyuk meet after this, or what will donghae do tomorrow, those kind of stuffs. every lil things they did, they always knew for each other. they are just unbelievably close. 

But who knows, one of them is really falling. It’s too much for him to receive these affections alone. He always keeps it cool but deep inside he might explode. It's already long enough for hyukjae to love him since then. The way he keeps hiding his feelings for himself. Not telling anyone about it. Imagine hiding this stupid feeling alone for the closest person  in this fucking world. He did suffering for himself. He always keeps it for himself. He didnt want to ruin this freaking long friendship just because of this dumb feeling. Donghae loves skinships so much. Like soooo much. He always touchs hyukjae unconsciously. At first, hyukjae always gets used to it when donghae did sudden hugs or held his hand. He already gets used to it. it’s been 20 years ofcourse he must get used to it. Donghae is indeed a clingy person so he always clings into hyukjae unconsciously like a habit. That’s a problem actually. Hyukjae actually didnt mind it at all when donghae being such a clingy ass but sometimes he cant handle that. 

Actually there’s one time he cant handle it. That time when they did a comeback for D&E, they did a blueroom live. Then they talked about their nicknames for each other. When they talked abt donghae’s nickname “haeknojam” then donghae starts to kiss hyukjae’s hand suddenly while laughing like an idiot  and he did it twice! in a fucking live broadcast. Hyukjae always keeps his cool and just lets donghae did it. he just said “Aniyoo” for times responding to donghae. That time actually, his heart almost explode. He thought why he did these in a live broadcast. and why did he kiss hyukjae’s hand?  hyukjae still cant figure it why he did it. that time after filming, donghae just acts like nothing happened. but hyukjae deep inside was flustered as hell but of course he acts like usual. Being playful and stuffs. Donghae just being himself too, being random and stuffs. Donghae always like this. It’s just hyukjae who’s been dazed and confused all the time. That time hyukjae tried so hard to calm his self down by jumping and dancing all the time. When donghae comes to ask,

“Hyukjae-ya, why are you practicing at this time, our schedule just ended right?”

“O-Oh i just wanna get myself sweaty,, i feel like my body stiffen, so yeah i keep practicing”

“Yeokshi uri d&e leader. dont push yourself too hard. promise me you will rest after this, okay?” he handed hyukjae a towel and  circling it into his neck while then keep wiping his sweat in hyukjae’s cheeks with that towel

“u-uhm of course. thanks”

“youre welcome always, my E oppa~~ chat me when you arrive at the dorm okay? lets go home” replied him while smiling 

“okay i will...”  

then donghae went to the car and went home. hyukjae feels his knees are gone then he sat on the floor.

“why he keeps confusing me...... sigh”

day after day of their promotions went well. At the end of the promotions, donghae was not like his usual self. It’s not he completely different person but he’s less clingy. and he often checks his phone and sometimes smiling while looking at his phone. Hyukjae thought maybe donghae looked at some funny things on his insta but thats just weird because he’s being too often looking at the phone. then he often picks up his phone outside it’s like he hides something from hyukjae. It’s not usual for him to do that. He always picks up his calls in front of hyukjae but not right now. It’s been weeks he did that, but actually hyukjae didnt care at all. Maybe he had something that is really his privacy. so he didnt think about it too much. But, day by day passed and it’s been 1 month already. He still being like that. When hyukjae came to his apartment, actually donghae asked him to come but donghae keeps being on the phone.  It’s not the real hyukjae if  he hadnt been curious. He was curious as hell. At first he keeps resisting himself not to be curious but maybe he cant after all. When hyukjae prepared the food he bought for donghae, donghae suddenly put his phone and went to shower. Hyukjae hesitated at first but he didnt care so he went quick to the table and looked at donghae’s phone. He enters the passwords (actually he knew it because donghae already told him when they went to a drive together, donghae cant open the phone because he focused on driving so he asked hyukjae to reply his mother’s message) and checked his kakao and insta. then he found one person other than him and his family in his pinned chats in his kakao. Then he opened the messages. 

Hyukjae never been so speechless before, it’s the first time. It turned out that person is donghae’s lover. He looked at those sweet messages and actually this saturday is their 3 months. they talked about how they can meet at saturday. it’s not just how his heart breaks in pieces. the fact he didnt tell him about it at all. and it’s been 3 months. how... hyukjae thought maybe if donghae told him, he can be prepared at anytime... 

“i thought we keep no secrets... but this is actually my fault too. i did have secret. so i deserved this.”

“but it hurts like hell what the fuck....” then hyukjae put donghae’s phone back to its place.  and tears keep falling without hyukjae realized himself. then he took his bag and left the food prepared for donghae. He left the house and cried on the way to the dorm. Hyukjae left a message to donghae via kakao.

Donghae who came out the bathroom after showering, becomes flustered. 

“Hyukjae ya, how’s the food is it good?”

no answer,,

“Hyukjae, where-” 

then he got notif from hyukjae 

“sorry i left first, i have something to do. I already prepared the tteokbokki. Have a good meal”

Donghae was so confused but he ate the tteokbokki anyway. he still didnt feel something strange..

few days after that, super junior have a schedule together for an interview. It’s so obvious that hyukjae tried so hard to avoid donghae at all cost. He distants himself from donghae and avoid donghae’s affections. He tries to keep it cool and still jokes around to the members. but he only avoids donghae. when donghae tries to talk to hyukjae after the interview ends, hyukjae keeps telling him he must go home. then donghae holds hyukjae’s hand

“Lee hyukjae, whats wrong with you? you’re obviously avoiding me? did i do something wrong?”

“N-no at all. you’re just touching me too much.”

“but i always did these to you,and you’re okay with that”

“yes but right now it’s not. okay good bye i must go right now. let go”

“just tell me why... please...”

“you didnt need to know”

then hyukjae pulls his hand harder and finally donghae let him go. donghae becomes frustrated himself. 

Leeteuk who saw this on the back feels there’s something wrong with these two... 

Hyukjae becomes so distant from donghae day by day, but no one notices it. it’s just donghae who feels something wrong but hyukjae will never tell him why. the members didnt feel it weird either because the atmosphere while being together as full members still feel lively. It didnt sound wrong at all. but only leeteuk who feels something weird. leeteuk who sees them quietly when in a dressing room, donghae didnt talk to hyukjae at all. hyukjae too, he didnt intend to talk to donghae at all. hyukjae always talks to kyuhyun or yesung in their leisure time. and donghae who hangs out with siwon all the time. it feels natural. but it feels weird too. then leeteuk asks donghae to come outside...

“Hey whats wrong?” leeteuk asks

“Me? im fine? why hyung asks that?”

“hyukjae. seems like you both not in a good terms recently”

“oh that. i dont know either” 

“ask him then what you did wrong”

“i have. but he said i didnt need to know?! he’s weird as fuck. how can i know what i did wrong while he’s being childish like that”

“hmmm, maybe you hide something and he did feeling betrayed or stuff? it may happen. those things always happen right for us”

“ah... maybe i know.....” 

then donghae rushed to hyukjae. 

“we need to talk”

“there’s nothing to talk about”

“hyukjae please.” 

“let me go”

“lee hyukjae... please”

“fine. i’ll give you 5 minutes”

“you saw my phone right?”

“thats- yeah i didnt mean to but yes i saw that you actually had a lover”

“thats why you’re mad?”

“yes? ofcourse? i feel betrayed you didnt tell me at all. i thought we’re close enough to tell about those kinda stuffs” (actually there’s not the only reason donghaeya.....)

“im about to tell you that night actually.. sorry for not telling you, im afraid that youre uncomfortable with this... pls forgive me okay”

“i-im okay for those kinda stuffs. im happy for u bro actually. but it’s just i feel sad you didnt tell me..”

“ so you forgive me?”

“hm maybe?” hyukjae still feels uncomfortable with this, its like he didnt want to see this fucking handsome angelic face in front of him anymore

then donghae becomes so happy and hugs him rightaway. hyukjae quickly tries to let go of him. 

“alright alright, let me go. lets just go home okay” donghae smiled happily after he heard he already been forgiven. but hyukjae still pretending. he pretends that it’s all okay for donghae for having a lover. but he’s not okay at all.

hyukjae forgives him but he cant face him actually and pretends to be fine all the time. everytime he meets donghae, he just feels uncomfortable. it didnt feel the same. hyukjae cant see him the same as before. hyukjae still keeps his cool and lets donghae did his skinships to him freely but deeply inside he is hurting. one day, he went to the building’s rooftop to get some fresh air in the middle of their schedule. Leeteuk suddenly comes to him.

“hyukjae ya....”

“oh whats wrong hyung?”

leeteuk doesnt say a word but immediately hugs him and pats his hair.

“i know it’s been hard”

hyukjae is flustered why he did this...

“hard? what do you mean hyung? hahaha”

“you loved him, am i right?”

“him?”

“eish stop pretending to be fine. i knew you two fights few days ago then you told him it was because he didnt tell you about his lover, it’s not the only reason right?”

“so you knew......”

“jtub told me that donghae already had a lover, donghae didnt tell me at first haha then he admitted it himself after then.”

“oh right.”

“what will you do then after this?”

“i dont know.. i cant keep pretending all the time. it hurts me to see his face it’s like i wanna punch him”

“even you loved him you want to punch him? lol”

“yes i hate that idiot smile of his until i want to-”

“kiss him so bad?”

“HYUNG”

“okay okay hahaha im kidding”

“but... sometimes i think of that too but ofcourse i wont do it” 

“he kissed your hand in a live broadcast why wont you?”

“no way i would kiss him first. its just me who had this feeling. he never feel the same, he just likes to play with me. its confusing”

then hyukjae silents for a bit

“hyung.. is it okay for me to go for a while? i kinda want to distract myself for  a while”

“its okay hyukjaeya. i respect all of your decisions as long as youre happy with it”

“ehm, it hurts so much seeing him these days. he keeps calling with his lover while there is me there in his house. thats fucking hurts. i cant do this anymore hyung. it’s like i wanna punch him for real. i hate having this feeling from the start.. i-i- *sobs*” hyukjae cried in leeteuk’s embraces. he cried so hard that time. 

“shussh shussh it’s okay hyukjae.. it’s a natural thing for us to fall in love. it’s not our fault to fall in love in the first place.”

“heuk- heuk- but i hate feeling this way. i hate myself” hyukjae still sobbing

after crying for so long, leeteuk’s shirt becomes so wet then leeteuk just laughs

“how can you hide those red eyes hahaha”

“right..... i dont know......”

“here i bring sunglasses lol just go home after this okay, so the members wont be suspicious haha”

“thank you so much hyung.... youre the best” 

“nah its always been my job to babysit all of you. so where would you go?”

“Japan. Maybe next week”

“okay, take care hyukjae. i will call you then”

then one day, hyukjae comes to his usual bar to hang out with donghae. but he comes alone. he feels like he wants to drink until he passed out for the last time before he goes to japan. then there’s jtub (donghae’s friend who is a composer too) who hangs out alone too. 

“Oh hyukjae, you come. Alone? where’s donghae?”

“nah i just feel like drinking alone”

“why?”

“i dont know i just want it”

then hyukjae really drinks a lot like A LOT. jtub tries to stop him but hyukjae insists he must drink more

“stop it or you will pass out here”

“i ddont fckin caree.. it issss m-my pplaaan annywway tto ssleep hhere until tomorrowww”

hyukjae lost it. he really lost it. he’s blabbering random sentences just now

“why.. wwhy sshould i llove that iddiot, i wanna kick hhis fckin handsome fface riight nnow,,,,, bastaard hhow you come to pplay wwith myy ffeelingg llike this,, itt hurtts sso mmuch i hhate yyou” then he sobs

“argghhhhhhh my head’‘ss sppinning” 

jtub didnt know who he was talking about but right now he needs to call someone to bring this idiot to come home

“hyukjae you need to come home.. i’ll call donghae”

“NOO DDONT CCALL THHAT BASTTARD” he tried to take jtub’s phone but it failed because he cant control himself because of the alcohol

“ah... so he’s heartbroken....... eish i didnt know that hyukjae is falling for his best friend.. eish let them finish this problem themselves i should back out”

“nno ddont him ppleasse, or i will kick hhis fucckin facce when hhe comess llater” then he sobs and passed out in the long table near the barista

few minutes later, donghae comes in a rush. 

“donghae ya here!” jtub calls

“oh my, what did you feed him huh?!?”

“wow slow man, he’s drinking and paying those bottles himself you know, i tried to stop him but he insisted to drink it until morning.”

“why’s he like this... he never been like this before...”

“you didnt know? why’s he like this? really?”

“uhm no, why? do you know?”

“try to figure it yourself then, its your problems anyway.”

“so he’s like this , because of me?!”

“spoiler : yes”

“oh man, why... okay then i’ll be going first” 

donghae tries to wake up hyukjae but still didnt get a respon. 

“Hyukjae-ya lets go home”

“ehmmm i want to sleep here”

“but it closes soon. you must go home. let me take you home eung?”

then hyukjae wakes up and see donghae  who’s ready to pick him up

“oh it’s lee donghae!” 

“yep it’s me. lets go home okay?”

“the way i wanna kick your face but i didnt have the strength right now, i’ll just kick you tomorrow”

“pardon? what?” donghae flustered and shocked

“right? it’s on you bro lol” jtub said

“okay okay lets just go home” donghae took hyukjae in his shoulders and caught him by the waist. then they both go to hyukjae’s dorm with donghae’s car

hyukjae falls asleep in the car. and keeps talkin in his sleep a bit

“lee donghae you bastard”

donghae is surprised and turns his head to passenger’s seat. 

“The fuck?!” 

then hyukjae sleeps again

“why’s he like this and why me?”

they finally arrived at hyukjae’s dorm and kyuhyun didnt come home so it’s just the two of them there. donghae hardly brings hyukjae to his room in his druk state. 

“im glad that you’re this tiny,  i can bring you home easily”

then donghae puts hyukjae to the bed and takes off his jacket, socks, and shoes. he wipes hyukjae’s forehead too with wet towel too.. hyukjae wakes up suddenly.

“stop being so kind to me” he stops donghae’s hand from wiping his forehead

“huh? why? im your closest friend it’s my job to take care of you idiot”

“i can take care of myself well. just go” hyukjae turns his head to the left side and puts the blanket covering his whole body. 

“why do you like this?”

“its not ur business”

“hyukjae ya... tell me whats wrong”

“Us. we cant be like this”

“why? you’re my closest friend-”

“We’re not supposed to be like this donghae ya. we must not”

hyukjae wakes up and turns into donghae. 

“We.... cant be like this donghaeya... we cant be....” hyukjae starts to cry

“hyukjae... why cant we... “

“why are you crying.. dont cry...“ donghae said again while carressing hyukjae’s tears with his thumb

“ *sobs* we- cant- be- like this... we just cant.....” hyukjae is still sobbing while talking

“tell me why, what should i do to stop you from crying please dont cry it hurts seeing you cry like this” donghae said softly 

“you.” 

“me? why?”

hyukjae still crying and doesnt want to answer.. 

“hyukjae tell me... please.. i dont wanna see you cry...”

hyukjae then holds donghae’s hand in his cheeks...

he looked at donghae’s eyes with those falling tears.. 

“you deserved to hate me forever.” 

hyukjae leaned in to donghae’s face and pressed a soft kiss into his lips. 

hyukjae pulls out and donghae is flustered and confused...

“h-hyukjae w-why-”

“leave me right now”

“b-but you have to tell-”

“leave or our friendship ends. leave please”

“hyukjae-ya.... “

“PLEASE LEAVE. *sobs* please...”

then donghae gets up from the bed and leaves hyukjae alone...

that’s it. that’s the end. hyukjae’s first love comes to an end. that angel is finally gone.... 

hyukjae cries in his bed so hard... the worst feeling ever. he hates himself more than anyone else. but he must end it. he must end this stupid feeling. the overflowing feelings he had for his best friend for years. he will stop loving him no matter what. 

“Thankyou for making me feel loved although actually it’s just me who feel that way... im happy... thankyou...” then he’s still crying for so long in the middle of the night

meanwhile donghae is feeling so flustered and mad. he didnt know why he’s mad. the fact his best friend cried because of him.. hyukjae’s eyes that told him everything. hyukjae’s puppy eyes that only shines everytime suddenly covered by the rain. the hard rain that falls because of him. he never knew. he never realized.. he didnt want to believe it. but it’s just feel so real. his tears falls in his cheek when hyukjae kissed him... he never feels the saddest kiss ever... it hurts so much. he didnt knoe either why it hurts so much. it feels like hyukjae will leave him for real... he cant imagine how his life would be without hyukjae.. it will never be the same.. 

donghae still feels confused.... he didnt know what to do after this... or tomorrow, or days after this.... he just didnt know what to do... 

the next day, hyukjae is already in the airport waiting for boarding to Tokyo. his eyes are completely red becuase of crying that night before.  He decides to go there to heal and repair himself. he just needs time alone for a while. he didnt know when he will be back to work as super junior. he’s already takin care of all of these with the company, and the company said yes. it’s up to him when will he decide to come back.... 

“hyukjae-ya, already at the airport?”

“eung hyung, there’s still 15 minutes before boarding”

“okay then, take care hyukjae... and one thing what if he asked me where you go?”

“hm, dont tell him hyung, just say that i want to spend my time alone.”

“fine i’ll do that. eish that insensitive bastard haha i’ll kick his face for you someday”

“nah hyung just let him be it’s my fault anyway for loving him in the first place. it’s never been his fault”

“aigu my precious dongsaeng already grown up”

“eish hyung your precious dongsaeng here is 34 years old”

“youre still a big baby to me anyway..”

“thankyou hyung. i’ll call you often when im in tokyo”

“yes sir!” 

“oh its time for boarding, im off hyung, bye bye!!”

“okay take care hyukjae ya, have a proper meals okay?”

“of courseee goodbye hyung”

hyukjae finally ends his phone call with leeteuk and walks in to the plane. finally he made up his mind and try to heal himself first.. he’s afraid that this feeling disrupt his works with him. so he must repair himself more to become a better person.. 

meanwhile donghae who didnt know anything at all,,

he worked out like crazy... he’s already working out since morning. and it’s already evening. he worked out and worked out.. he did everything in the gym. he’s like a mad person right now. he didnt pick up the calls from everyone.. even his lover too.. 

the instructors there feels worried because it’s not usual for donghae to act like this. then the instructors try to call jtub, donghae’s friend who’s been at the same gym with him. 

actually jtub is very busy right now so he cant go there to save that idiot friend from overworking his body. then jtub called leeteuk because leeteuk already said to him if donghae acts weird, he’s free to call him. 

leeteuk comes to donghae’s usual gym rightaway after finishing his schedule. 

“eomma ya. it’s already 7pm. and he’s been working out since 7 am?!?”asks him to the one of the instructors

“yes sir. he’s been like this since morning. we’re too scared to disturb him because he seems not in his right mind”

leeteuk walks in slowly to donghae. 

“donghae ya”

donghae still wont listen he still in his threadmill

“lee donghae please come down.”

“come on donghae you never been like this, you never disobeyed my orders. come on donghae please stop this. you makes yourself sick”

donghae finally stops the threadmill and come down. 

he falls rightaway in the floor. 

“donghae-ya are you okay? hey? donghaeya?”

“hyung... it’s my fault...” after that, donghae lost his consciousness

Donghae wakes up in his house with leeteuk who waits for him.

“Oh are you okay? do you hurt yourself?”

“no-no im okay hyung..” 

“eish why did you work out like that? you know it can kill you. what if i didnt come? who will take care of you? oh my god this kid. how old are you huh? youre fuckin 34 please grow up” leeteuk keeps nagging while wipes donghae’s forehead 

“sorry hyung...” 

“promise me you wont do this again oh god”

donghae just nods... then he suddenly remembers something

“i need to meet hyukjae.. i need-”

“stop he wont meet you”

“even he doesnt want to, i keep going to meet him”

“what would you say then? ask him for an apologize for something you didnt realize?”

“hyung... so you knew..”

“of course. just stop it. you wont ever meet him right now. you just cant”

“no hyung i must-”

“he’s leaving. he’s not in south korea.”

“what..... are you serious?”

“yes”

“where did he go? i can go right now”

“no you cant, just let him alone donghae ya. okay? please listen to me, he’s hurting. you never knew how he feels. because you never feels it. what do you want to say to him? anything that you would say, it wont heal him. because it’s on you. you’re the source of his broken state. he will overcome this someday. just wait okay?”

“but.... it hurts so much.. i dont know it just hurts so much seeing him cry.. seeing him so weak like that night. i really want to embrace him but he keep pushing me off, he keeps crying and crying.... his trembling voice when he tried to talk to me hurts me so much... he’s never showing this side of him for these time being.. i just didnt know what to do... it hurts so much seeing him in that state, i want to see him so fuckin much... i just- ” then he cant say anymore.. he’s loss at speech... he’s crying... 

“hyung... why im late to realize this.... why..... he’s already left what should i do.... im fuckin stupid... im so fucking dumb......” 

donghae cries in leeteuk’s shoulder.. leeteuk cant say anything... he just pats donghae’s back softly.. “just wait for him okay.... he’ll be okay..”

donghae still cant figure out why he’s also breaking.... he just feels that his heart is shattered knowing these situations at once.. 

confused, flustered, and mad. he’s mad at himself... 

“how can i never realize  in these time being?” 

part 1 end 

[bnhavibes]

Can I have some touch starved boys? Shinso, Todoroki, Kirishima, and Aizawa with a girlfriend who is also very touch starved?

GOD BLESS YOUR THIRST MY DEAR

Shinsou, Hitoshi

god bless this baby bOI

he wouldn’t be so obvious about his needs around you

especially in public

but the second you rub against his body??? whew!🤧

you could literally be sitting on his lap as you watch your friends act stupid at a bonfire, and rub against his lap as you wiggle back into his chest for warmth.

the unintentional grinding surprises him, so he sinks his teeth into the crook of your neck to avoid moaning. (noting the heat of your skin on his tongue)

holding onto you by your waist tightly

he wants to hold you close, but not in front of your friends

god, he’d probably make some excuse to leave

“yeah i forgot to feed my cat”

????? he doesnt even have a cat

the car ride is intense silence, and the walk up his stairs makes you tremble in excitement

once in his room, you’re immediately showered with kisses

so much touching, grabbing and nipping

he’s like a puppy

“I’ve missed you so much.” skskskksiwiwywy

he probably doesn’t even need to have intercourse with you

just the taste of your skin, and the feel of your teeth around his flesh, that would suffice

but you cant help yourself as you jump into his arms

wrapping your legs around his hips tightly and pulling him in as close as possible

his panting makes it hard to focus on the task at hand, but GOD does he sound so cute when he’s breathless

He’d use his quirk a bit to speed things up

Ripping his own clothes off as you do yours at his command

Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair.

Especially when you’re making out with him

You’ll literally feel his nails dig into your hips when you do it, his hands pressing your down onto his lap with desperation

Will aggressively finger you while attacking your clit with his tongue as you bounce on his face until your tears brim your eyelids and your cheeks are bright red with overstimulation

And when hes done with that??????

Immediately flips you onto the bed, pinning your arms above your head as he enters you.

He’s shaky as he adjusts to you, his arousal starting to ease into primal instinct

He wants to feel every inch of your body

Scrapes against your walls so strategically you’d think he’s made a mold out of your sex, and knows every single crevice like the back of his hand.

Likes to grip you every chance that he gets.

Nuzzles his face into your skin any and every opportunity he can.

Doesn’t notice how much you’re doing the same.

“Did you want me to look like I lost a fight with my vaccuum, kitten?” he says when he notices the marks you left on his neck and shoulders.

“It’s better than losing a fight to my fist.”

“Hmmph. I wouldn’t suggest looking in the mirror then.”

You gasp as your eyes snap to the nearest mirror.

Your whole lower half was riddled in bite marks and red bruises(especially the bottom of your ass cheeks where his knuckles were pounding into your core).

“Don’t look at me like that. You asked for it.”

Todoroki, Shouto

ummmm, hello he’s a fucking TEASE

once he k n o w s that you’re feeling horny??? game over.

“Let’s stay in and watch our own movie, Shouto, we don’t have to go with the rest of the class!”

“But we already told them we would be going, don’t you wanna be class president this year?”

“Yes, but, I— uhhhm.. I really wanna stay in tonight!”

He’d give you a side glace before putting his jacket on with a sly smile.

“You’re gonna make us late.” He’d say as he crawls over your soft body before planting soft kisses around your jawline

“I, I don’t care— I need you.” You blush as he rubs circles on your hip with his thumbs.

“I know.” He whispers on your skin, giving it a soft kiss before doing the same to your lips.

So, so, so much passion in his touch.

He can’t get enough of his name escaping your lips as he rolls his hips into yours.

Expect many soft grunts, sighs of relief, hums of approval and sweet nothings in your ear

“You’re so beautiful.”

Caresses your body as he defiles you, appreciating every curve and dip in the sculpture that is your temple

Eye contact— HEAVY eye contact. He will uncome above you as you stare into his mismatched eyes.

He’s holding himself up on his elbows around your head, your small frame complimenting his broad body.

“I love you, Shouto.” sends him over the edge, his final thursts digging into you as deep as he can.

“I love you more, baby.” He whispers after he catches his breath.

Kirishima, Ejirou

UMMMMM WHO SAID YOU COULD LOOK SO CUTE IN YOUR EXERCISE UNIFORM???

?????!!!!!!!!?????? manly boi gets so FLUSTERED when he see’s you after a class workout

Gets defensive if Monoma calls him out

“IM NOT STARING!!! I’m just— making sure my — baby wasn’t pushed too far!”

Blushes R E A L hard when he catches himself calling you his baby.

Wolf whistles and cooes from both of your classes ensue as you drag him off to the dorms, an awkward blush prominent on your face.

“B-Baby! I shouldn’t have said that— I, uh, geez this isn’t gonna be so manly but uh, I guess you could say I was staring at you. I... Yeah! I was staring at your awesome bod, and I—“

Your lips crash onto his before you push him into the elevator.

???? Poor baby shark is shook.

But he can’t just keep his hands to himself while you kiss him.

He feels his heart pound against his chest as you slide your tongue into his mouth.

When you reach his floor, you part from his lips, a string of saliva the only thing keeping you connected.

“I was thinking about you all day, too.” You confess in a sultry voice.

Can people heart eyes in real life??? cause that’s exactly how he’d look at you as you led him to his own room.

he lost count of the amount of times where you just stopped in your tracks to pull him into a deep kiss in the hallway.

it was enough times for him to snap, picking you up by your ass and charging into the boys locker room, not even caring to close the door as you ground your heat onto his crotch.

he’d lay you on the nearest surface, even if it’s barely enough for you to sit on.

skips the foreplay for once, pulling your clothes off frantically before you leap back into his arms

he steps into the nearest shower (being sweaty is so not manly) turning it on to the hottest you can take

he’s so fucking ready for you, you can feel his heartbeat against your own as he presses your back onto the cold tile

“Baby, I— I want you so bad. I know it seems lewd of me, but... Heh, well you know more about being lewd than me, huh? Just the look on your face right now...”

Your lips would crash again, teeth clashing as you both went in for a passionate and totally fucking kinky makeout session

He’d shove himself into your without warning, maneuvering your legs until your hips were spread in the perfect position between his own, thursting into you fully as your head tossed back against the wall

“You feel.... soo amazing, my goddess— you, ohhh. You’re all mine, right? This is all m-my love you’ve got.”

You’re in heaven as he grinds your bodies together, your nails catching the skin in his shoulders.

His grunts make you want to scream his name to show how hard he’s working (,:

Hes such a good boy🥺🥺 so you gotta tell him!!!

“Ohhhh!~ Yyyeees! It’s all yours, Ki—Kiri!~” You moan for him, resulting in deeper thrusts and ohhhh the most invigorating sounds from his throat

“Tell me.. who’s.. your M A N?”

“Fuck, it’s YOU, Red Daddy Riot! Oh, you’re so manly, plowing into me so good!! You’re always gonna be my man, ohhh! The!! Only... MAN— OH EJIROU, im gonna cU-UHHHNNNBHH”

He’s hardened inside you, your insides bruising at his rough edges but quaking as your orgasm hits you.

He can feel your insides fluctuating spasms around him, and he releases into you briefly before pulling out and resting his head on your shoulder.

smol pecks grace your collarbone as he watches his seed drip out of you and spill onto the floor

hehehehehehhehehe i hope you liked this!

you literally chose some of the bEST bois🥺🥺😭😭🥺😭😭

but

i couldnt do aizawa yet cuz.... ive got something like this planned for him 🤧🤧🤧🥴🥴🥴 just like a bit different because reader is actually a college student of his

ANYWAYSSSSS um ya ily bye

[the--blackdahlia]

The Kidnapping of the Drummer

Title: The Kidnapping of the Drummer

Summary: Duff comes to Nikki for some help.

Warnings: Language, crack-ness

AN: Pairings are Tommy x Nikki and Duff x Steven.

It had been a few months since Vince had lost Tommy in a poker game, and Nikki never let him live it down. Every time Vince would argue with the bassist, Nikki would shoot back that with at least he didn't lose the drummer in a game, and it instantly shut the frontman up, instead making him huff and march off.

After that, Axl arranged to kidnap Tommy again just for the principal of the matter. It almost worked the first time, except Nikki came out to the pool of the hotel where Duff had been tasked to kidnap the drummer from.

One look at Nikki made Duff hold up his hands, say fuck it, and leave.

"What do you mean you just left him?" Axl growled when he found out.

"Bassist code man," Duff countered. "I ain't pissing off another bassist. Never know when I'll need some strings."

"Good idea babe," Steven smiled at the other blonde, and Axl rolled his eyes. 

"Shut up Steven." Axl snapped. Duff looked at the drummer and saw his shoulders slump. "Vince fucking needs to pay. We're going to get Tommy fucking Lee or so help me."

That led to the next few months of Axl trying to plan how to kidnap Tommy. And each time failed as miserably as the time before. Someone always foiled it,  and Axl stopped asking Duff to fetch. Duff noticed he never involved Steven in his plans though.

"You okay?" Duff asked, wrapping his arms around him and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Yeah I'm great," Steven replied. And he was smiling, but Duff could hear a hint of sadness in his voice. Steven had been struggling here recently, smiling less, wanting to sleep more, and not even really feeling like playing the drums. 

"You sure?" Duff asked, not really believing him. He knew Steven thought he was putting on a good face, but sometimes it would disappear, especially when Axl would yell at him, insult him, and Duff was about two seconds away from punching a certain redhead in his dick.

"Of course," Steven smiled and kissed his cheek before heading to the shower. Duff frowned. Steven had been struggling on and off with his mental health. Some days it was okay and he was smiley and happy, some days it was all he could do to get out of bed.

And it was later that Duff was starting to see why. Axl was pissy, because none of his plans had worked, so every little thing seemed to be setting him off.

"Fucking hell Steven!" Axl screamed. "Can't you do anything right?"

"But…" Steven started, but Axl stopped him.

"I don't want to hear any if your fucking excuses. You're literally this close to being out of this fucking band!"

"Axl, calm down," Slash tried to intervene, but Axl was already riled up.

"He cant even get a beat right! He's a fucking drummer! We get Lee, we're keeping him and sending Steven to them!" Duff looked over at Steven, who was looking down at his drums.

"Okay, that's enough. Back the fuck off," Duff growled. Axl rolled his eyes and went to talk to Slash and Izzy about some guitar riffs. Duff headed over to Steven. "Babe…"

"I gotta go," Steven quickly left the rehearsal area. Duff stood there, watching him leave.

"Where the fuck is he going?" Axl asked. Duff turned to glare at the singer. "Fine. Whatever. I have better things to do anyway." He grabbed Slash and they left. Duff wanted to go after Steven, but first, he had a stop to make.

****

"Hello?" Vince answered. Duff looked at the phone for a second.

"Vince? I thought I called Tommy and Nikki…"

"Yeah, I'm crashing here for a bit. Trouble in paradise and all that shit."

"Oh. Uh sorry man," Duff paused for a minute. "Well, can I talk to Nikki?"

"Him and Tommy went to Tower or something. I don't know." Vince sighed.

"Okay thanks." Duff hung up without even saying bye. He grabbed the keys to his car and headed out towards the strip. He figured that if the terror twins were shopping anywhere, it would be at the Tower on sunset. That's where everyone seemed to be going. 

And sure enough, as Duff made his way into the store, he saw two heads of dark hair towering over the bins of records.

"Yo, Sixx man," Duff made his way over to the two.

"Are you really trying to kidnap him now?" Nikki asked with a sigh. "He's so happy looking for vinyl."

"No. I come in peace," Duff explained. "In fact, I actually need a favor." Tommy looked up from the bin he was looking at and shared a glance with Nikki. "Can we talk? Please?"

****

"Okay, what's going on?" Nikki asked. The three of them went to the Rainbow for beers and burgers. Duff took a drink to calm himself before he started to call Axl every name in the book.

"I want you to kidnap Steven," Duff explained.

"What?" Tommy laughed.

"You guys are the kidnapping group. Not us," Nikki added.

"Axl keeps screaming at Steven all the time. And I'm afraid if he keeps it up…" Duff trailed off. Tommy and Nikki knew all about Steven's mental health issues. Tommy had went to pull a prank on the other drummer once. Walking into Steven and Duff's room, Tommy immediately changed his mind when he saw the normally happy blonde curled up in the middle of the bed, tears streaming down his face.

"So, you just want us to kidnap him and that's it?" Nikki asked.

"I'm coming with," Duff told him. "Steven and I need a couple nights together without Axl dictating when we can and cannot just be together. And maybe we could do a cool supergroup thing or something."

"I'm game, but we should probably talk to Vinnie and Micm," Tommy looked at Nikki.

"Vince is staying at our place. I'll call Mick and we'll all discuss it. Wanna come with?" Nikki asked.

"I really need to go check on Steven," Duff told them. "Call me when you guys come to a decision."

"We will," Tommy assured him.

"And trust me, I can be pretty persuasive." Nikki smirked at Duff. "I'm sure Vinnie will see it my way."

****

"You want to what?" Vince asked. Mick had a smirk on his face as Nikki and Tommy explained the plan.

"You had me at screwing with Axl," Mick nodded.

"So we're going to kidnap Steven, Duff's coming with him, and they would be willing to put out a song or two with us?" Vince asked. Nikki nodded. "Okay. Let's do it."

"I'm game," Mick nodded.

"You know I'm fucking stoked for this," Tommy laughed. Nikki smiled then went to call Duff to discuss the plan.

****

"I'll be late for practice," Duff told Steven with a kiss. "I have a few things I need to pick up. Just tell Axl to go fuck himself if he says anything."

"Oh, ok," Steven gave Duff a kiss back. "I'll see you in a bit?"

"Of course," he smiled as Steven got his keys and headed to practice. Once Steven was gone, Duff started to pack a couple of overnight bags for the two of them. He smiled to himself as he got everything ready.

He headed out of the house to where Nikki and Tommy were waiting in Nikki's car.

"Your chariot awaits fucker!" Tommy laughed. Duff flipped him off but had a smile on his face as he got in the backseat.

"Okay so Vince and Mick are waiting for us by the studio," Nikki explained. "Tommy and I are going in with them. You said Izzy knows, right?"

"Yeah. And if he told Slash, he won't say anything. They might be screwing but Slash wouldn't mind watching us piss Axl off."

"Then let's get this show on the mother fucking road!" Tommy laughed.

They pulled up in front of the studio. Vince and Mick were in Vince's car, arguing about something. Duff looked over at them then back at Nikki and Tommy.

"Vince probably turned Kiss on," Nikki explained. "It's a long story."

"What does he have against Kiss?" Duff asked.

"Its Mick. He hates things people like," Tommy laughed.

"Okay let's go get Steven," Nikki smiled at Tommy before giving him a kiss. The two got out of the car and motioned for the other two. "What were you two arguing about now?"

"Fucking Barbie played fucking Kiss," Mick grumbled. Nikki shook his head as they headed into the studio.

"Steven, where the fuck is Duff?" They heard Axl ask.

"He had to get something. I dont know…" the four looked at each other. The sadness was evident in his voice.

"Ok, let's go," Nikki commanded. He pushed open the doors to the room, causing Axl, Steven, Izzy, and Slash to look up. Izzy and Slash both started to smile. Axl started to laugh.

"You're  bringing him to me? That's awesome," he smiled.

"Eh, not quite." Nikki nodded. He watched as Slash and Izzy casually stepped in front of Axl, helping Tommy and Vince block him. Mick stood at the door. Nikki went to Steven. "Don't squirm." He grabbed the drummer and tossed him over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Axl called out.

"Nikki, what the fuck?" Steven asked.

"Just go with it dude," Nikki laughed. "Bye Izzy. Bye Slash."

"Bye fucker," Vince smirked at Axl before heading out with Tommy, Nikki, Mick, and Steven.

"Put me down," Steven tried wiggling.

"Chill out dude," Tommy laughed. He opened the back door of Nikki's car and Nikki deposited the drummer in the back.

"Hey babe," Duff laughed. Steven looked over at the bassist.

"What's going on?" Steven asked. "Why'd motley crue just kidnap me?"

"I asked them to," he waved at Mick and Vince as they walked away.

"Why?" Steven looked at Duff as Tommy and Nikki got back in the car.

"I'm sick and fucking tired of how Axl is treating you," Duff explained, cupping Steven's cheek. "I can't lose you. So if that means hanging out with the terror twins for a few days, so be it." He saw the tears in Steven's eyes  but the smile on his face. "I love you."

"I love you too." Duff leaned in and kissed Steven. Tommy and Nikki smiled at each other before Nikki drove them back to their house.

****

Axl was pacing in front of Izzy and Slash. The two guitarists were getting a little sea sick watching him.

"Why Steven?" Axl asked.

"What?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"He has nothing to do with this. Why take him? Like if anyone, they should've taken Slash...no offense."

"Uh huh. Sure," Slash grumbled.

"And where the fuck is Duff?" Axl asked.

"Maybe they grabbed him too?" Izzy suggested. "You know, go big or go home?"

"It makes no fucking sense!" Axl sighed.

"They'll escape on their own at some point," Slash shrugged. Him and Izzy looked at each other and smiled.

"Wait, do you two know something?" Axl asked.

"Nope," Izzy and Slash shook their heads.

"I don't believe you…" Axl shook his head. "But I'm too tired to figure it out."

****

"Why are we doing this again?" Steven asked as he stood with his head over the sink as Tommy rinsed his hair.

"Because it'll be funny," Tommy told him. "And this will come out the next time you shampoo."

"I gotta say, I'm pretty hot with black hair," Duff admired himself in a mirror.

"Is it going to make me permanently like this?" Steven dried his hair with the towel Nikki handed him.

"Nah. Might darken slightly for a bit, but that's it." Nikki told him. "But we're not guns, so we can only have one blonde bitch in our band."

"Someone will be very upset if we take his barbie title away from him," Tommy chimed in. Steven and Duff started laughing. Tommy and Nikki shared a look, happy to see Steven actually smiling and laughing.

"So I have a song that will sound really cool with dueling drums and bass," Nikki explained. "And I have a camera and want to take a new band picture."

"I can't believe we're members of motley crue," Duff laughed, wrapping an arm around Steven's waist. "Axl is going to die when he hears about that."

"Well, since we got the hair done, I think we can do our song tomorrow to piss Axl off," Nikki smiled at them. 

"Come on," Duff grabbed Steven's hand. "Because you're pretty fucking hot with dark hair." Steven laughed and followed Duff towards the guest room they would be staying in.

"Those two," Tommy shook his head. Nikki came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him.

"You know, you're hotter, right?" He kissed on Tommy's neck.

“Oh, you think so?” Tommy asked with a soft moan. Nikki nodded against him and smirked.

“Let’s go to our room,” Nikki told him. “We have some things we need to do.”

****

It was about three days later when Steven was washing the black out of his hair that Axl came knocking. Vince and Mick looked up from the game they were watching. Nikki patted Tommy’s leg, having the drummer stand up from where he was sitting on Nikki’s lap. Duff and Steven were still back in the guest room and bathroom. Nikki answered the door, seeing the redhead standing there with Slash and Izzy behind him.

“I give,” He sighed.

“Excuse me?” Nikki asked, trying to hide the smirk on his face.

“I give up. Let them go,” Axl sighed.

“We’re not keeping them here,” Nikki told him. “They want to be here.”

“Can I talk to them?” Axl asked. Nikki looked over at Tommy and nodded. The drummer went to get the two others. Soon, Tommy was coming back with Duff and Steven.

“Axl,” Duff crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you doing here?”

“Rescue,” Axl nodded. “Brought help.”

“We don’t want rescued,” Duff snapped. “In fact, I think we’re going to stay being apart of the Crue.”

“What? Why?” Axl asked.

“Well, for starters, you’ve been such a dick to Steven,” Duff pointed out.

“Isn’t he a dick all the time?” Vince piped up from the living room.

“Not helping!” Nikki called to the frontman.

“I’m sorry,” Axl sighed.

“I don’t believe you,” Duff shook his head. “I put his mental health and happiness over the band. You screw with him, you lose a bassist and probably a drummer, because I’m not letting him stay alone in the band with you.”

“I’m sorry I was such a dick to you Steven,” Axl looked at the drummer. “Will you guys please come back?” Steven looked over at Duff with a smile on his face.

“I never thought in a million years I’d live long enough to hear Axl Rose apologize,” Steven teased. “Yeah, we’ll come back.” Duff smiled and kissed Steven’s cheek.

“Hey Rose,” Vince walked up to Axl and slapped a picture against his chest. “Be on the lookout for our new single.” Axl pulled the photo back from his chest and his mouth hung open. Tommy and Steven were enveloped in a massive drumset, Steven with hair as dark as Tommy’s. And then, the two bassists, both with matching, feathered black hair, looked like they were annoying the ever loving shit out of Mick and Vince.

“What the fuck?” Axl asked.

“Yeah, that’s Motley Crue,” Nikki shrugged. “Got any guitarists that would want to join, we welcome them with open arms.” He looked over at Slash and Izzy. “In fact, I don’t even think we’d have to dye their hair.”

“No. No way. Let’s go,” Axl motioned for the band. Slash, Izzy, and Steven started to follow. Duff hung back and looked over at Nikki.

“Thanks again man,” Duff told him. “It’s great to see Steven happy.”

“Anytime,” Nikki smiled. Vince nodded.

“All you gotta do is say you want to screw with Axl, and we’re game,” He laughed. Duff smiled and followed the rest of his band out the door.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme @marvelismylifffe @mrslogansixxpixx

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva @deacyduck @scarecrowmax @major-tom-is-a-junky @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies @ilovetomkeiferslips @kaitieskidmore1 @useyourillusion @xpoisonousrosesx @slash-me-up

[thoschei-rights]

Even more Who Fic ideas I can’t write bc I’m lazy

Okay maybe not lazy- I don’t think I’m lazy? I just really struggle keeping attention, and after a paragraph I’m bored? I struggle to stick with thing?? Idk? I dunno how to explain- but yeah take my ideas and run with them if you like them?? Heck if you write them, hit me up, and I’ll literally link them in this post <3

Okay so some of these exist already but they’re all mostly text fics? But can we please have more Eleven/Dhawan!Master fics?? I think the fandom has mostly just accepted their original meeting was while he was Eleven because he’s the only New Who Doctor not to have a Master Post-Ten? (Look I bolded post-ten so yall don’t think I’m ignoring Nine and The War Doc??) Can we not have the Master lowkey flirting with Eleven and Eleven being flustered af bc Eleven was a baby :’) Idk? I just- I have no excuses haha

This is an idea Ive had for a while, because I like River and y’know? Space Wives?? Please? :’) But anyway, my biggest love would be Thirteen in the Library episodes? Thirteen lowkey infiltrating the exploration squad or whatever the fudge they were called, she could pass as a normal person albeit a bit eccentric? Because River definitely doesn’t know that face if the Husbands of River Song is anything to go by? Thirteen promising herself she’s not there to get involved or change anything, she’s just there to see River one more time- but then Oop- she get’s involved gg :’) Its up to you how much she changes, if anything gets overwritten? Go crazy yo-

This prompt contains Broadchurch S2 spoilers btw Okay this one is a crossover? Sorry. Normally I’m not a crossover person, I just don’t like them most of the time unless they’re really well written? I read an amazing D:BH x Marvel crossover once?? ANYWAY. I’m going off on one... Broadchurch x Who fics aren’t rare.. but ones including Thirteen are hella rare and it makes me so sad?? But anyway, I finished season 2 the other day and lol at they end, Paul is all like lol bye Joe off to Sheffield you go... and I’m just there fucking screaming? Imagine right? Joe is just chilling in Sheffield being the shitstain that he is? And he sees Thirteen? and he’s like? fuck? what? help? Extra points if she’s being super gay with Yaz or she’s lowkey with the Master :’) but either way Joe is pissing himself bc he’s like holy fuck i’m being haunted or karma or- idk :’) extra extra points if Thirteen spots this random human staring and thinks he’s being homophobic or racist or smth and she lowkey gives him a glare and hESHJBF,DJKBFHDHJKFSDG I’m fine. fuck. i’m honestly fine. Joe deserves jail thanks he made my baby cry :ccc

nOW I have that out of the way- iMAgine lets kill hitler but when River gives him her regenerative shizzle, it heals him yes, but he also regenerates into Twelve? bc by this point the ponds have witnessed Mels > River regeneration so they’re aware of the concept? but now? their young energetic puppy of a doctor is a grumpy scot? and they’re whiplash af? but they aren’t the type to get judgemental? bc he’s still the doctor? I think if the ponds ever had to deal with a regen, they’re definitely in the group that would be accepting and wouldn’t taken ten years to get over it (LOOKING AT YOU CLARA YOU MEANIE???) Rory having a mid-life crisis bc now he has TWO anger scot peoples 

Clara breaking Thirteen out of prison bc we’ve all seen the Jack versions but hi Clara can’t get back to Gallifrey to be put back in her timestream if iTS ALL DESTROYED SO IS SHE IMMORTAL??/ Anyway yeah Clara is like lmao psyche I’m gonna go save the dork from prison bc ur not telling me she doesn’t keep tabs on him? pft. Thirteen is like woah holy shit Clara? and Clara is like woah holy shit yoU REMEMBER ME AND YOU’RE GORGEOUS AND WOAH SHIT NOW IM GAY?? :’) and then Jack bursts in and he’s like oh i was late which one of you are the doctor- :’) 

Asylum of the Daleks except Eleven literally takes Dalek Oswin with him? and news spreads among the universe? the doctor and a dalek> traveling? together? it causes the biggest shOOKETH in the history of shOOKETHs? imagine landing places and peoples reactions to a fuCKING DaleK OH SHIT WE GON DIE but then woah?? a literal sassy female-sounding dalek? hi bye wtf? Yes. We stan Dalek Oswin.

Thasmin bc I need to make sure yall know deSPITE THE USERNAME I DO ACTUALLY DIE FOR THASMIN TOO YKNOW??? anyway, the house-tardis (housis) likes Yaz, bc everyone likes Yaz, have you met her? she’s precious? we love? anyway the housis takes Yaz to the Doctor bc Yaz is lowkey begging bc she needs to save her- she doesn’t know what happens but- she hopes and- anyway the housis takes her to prison and yeet Yaz is a badass and breaks her out? Thirteen is like woAH im gay af when Yaz deadass throws a guard over her shoulder or smth and she’s like I DONT APPROVE OF TH E VIOLEN C E but she’s also gay crisis af :’) we just have lots of prison break alternatives in this church

Can i throw in another broadchurch crossover? I like these... The Master escapes the Kasaavin realm and ends up in Broadchurch? He’s bare confused why everyone looks like the doctor or his/her/their human pets :’) he lowkey does double takes every two seconds. without a tardis he’s forced to live as a human for a bit, while trying to contact the doctor, bc as much as he doesnt wanna admit it, he needs her to give him a lift to his tardis lmao- anyway she eventually turns up and idk , everything falls to shit bc the general public are so confused bc now there’s two beths :’)

the fam end up in petes world after a shitshow in the votex :’) maybe someone crashes into them (lol probably the master being a bish) and yep. thirteen is like o shit nope i cant do this- but the fam wanna explore, so she can’t refuse. and ofc, cliche af but oFC THEY RUN INTO ROSE? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WE NEED BLONDE BABIES TOGETHER THANKS? maybe thirteen is trying to pretend to be normal and human and its a disaster and the fam are confused but play along, maybe they’re dragged into an alien issue and its all running and shit? maybe meta doc is dead? maybe thirteen wants to tell rose who she is so bad but? she cant? things are so different now? she’s changed so much> she’s scared? jkhflkjhg precious- but yeah take it as you wANT YO

the fam meeting missy. you can set missy pre-dhawan, post-dhawan, I’m not bothered? personally I really like post-dhawan but it’s fine. the fam are like oo whose this aND IT DOESNT CONNECT THEY’RE THE MASTER BC MISSY IS A NORMAL NAME SO THEY DONT THINK- but then it comes to light and they’re like HYJKFGUIGFDSLUHGSUHL maybe they’re angry and confrontational, maybe they’re defensive and shook?? i dunno but missy and fam are the dream squad thanks-

same as last time, this has lots of typos and gramatical errors, shit punctuation and half the time i forgot to capatalize... BUT i lowkey have a big ass bandage around a finger on my left hand and its hard to type- (i was a numpty and cut a bit off my finger at work) SO YEAH I HAVE AN EXCUSE- ?? haha jokes im just a mess... but yeah I’ll fix this post up evenbtually... 

[huphilpuffs]

flares

chapter: 25/? summary: Dan’s body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he’s long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn’t the way to make himself happy. word count: 3065 rating: mature warnings: chronic illness, chronic pain, medicine a/n: a huge thanks goes to @obsessivelymoody for beta reading this for me!

Ao3 link || read from beginning

Dan wakes up on Thursday to a heaviness in his chest.

He groans before he even opens his eyes. His face is squished against a pillow, his ribs pressed too harshly against the mattress. Stabs of pain burst between them, make his muscles spasm and send his breath escaping in a stutter. He has to count, one, two, three, four to keep it from happening a second time.

It eases some when he rolls onto his back.

And he tries to comfort himself further by counting out how long it’s been since he’s been able to sleep on his stomach. Too long, probably.

He’s been getting better, though. Even staring at the bedroom ceiling through his tears, Dan knows that. Knows the he’s helped Phil with dinner the last few nights, and managed to handle the curtains being open for a few hours yesterday.

His hand smoothes across his sternum, and he pokes at the painful spots in his sides until the sharpness dulls.

It’s enough to let Dan sit up, then stand on shaky knees. He tosses Phil’s pillow back to where it belongs and tucks the duvet into place to prove the voice in his head, wondering why he’s suddenly worse again, that he’s fine.

And to ignore the second voice, telling him it’s anxiety that causes your pain, over and over again.

His appointment is in a day.

Dan’s hardly slept for three.

He tries to swallow back a sigh. Whatever rush of adrenaline had dragged him out of bed has faded, left fatigue settling heavy in his bones again. He could drag himself to the lounge, curl up in his blankets and continue his new daily routine of watching people on YouTube for hours.

But his body aches and his eyes burn, and he crawls back into bed instead.

The voice in his head grows louder.

Dan grabs Phil’s pillow, clutches it ot his chest and presses his face against the fabric, breathing deeply.

It smells like Phil.

He holds it until he falls back asleep.

---

The afternoon drags.

It’s past two when Dan wakes up again. The flat is still empty, the bed unmade again. He crawls out without bothering to fix it, makes himself a sandwich, and settles back on the sofa, where he can rest his head against the cushions and ignore the tightness around his heart.

Every time he turns on his phone, it’s too a notification reminding him he has an appointment tomorrow that has his muscles seizing, making it ache to breathe.

And to a reminder he half regrets setting, since he’s ignored it for days.

Call mum.

There’s only a few hours to follow through with it now.

He glances back at the clock that tells him it’s just ticking past three. Twenty-five hours left, says the voice in his head. It sounds like the last GP he saw, who looked him in the eyes and told him to try acting like he had more energy, who told him it would help.

You should try it, his mum had said afterwards. You never know unless you do.

Dan’s thumb swipes across the screen. He finds her contact, sucks in a breath, and hits the call button.

He doesn’t breathe again until she picks up on the third ring.

“Hi, Dan,” she says.

He hasn’t heard her voice since he decided to stay here. It feels like a lifetime ago, suddenly.

“Hi, mum.”

There’s silence for a long moment. He can hear her breathing over the line, low and steady, and wonders if she can hear the shakiness in his.

“How are you?” she asks

“I’m okay,” he says. “I, uh, have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“Oh?”

He swallows, nodding even though she can’t see him. “Just with my new GP, but I’m hoping he might be able to help me,” he says. “With, well, you know.”

“I hope he can.”

She sounds sad. It’s been a long time since Dan’s heard that.

“Me too,” he says. And then, because he can’t handle the silence: “But, uh, I was hoping you could maybe help me figure out my medical history, to prepare? I don’t remember all of it from when I first got sick.”

Back when she was responsible for it, he doesn’t say. Back when anyone could keep track of all of it.

“I’ll text it to you, okay?” she says. “I know your memory isn’t always the best, and your wrists tend to ache from writing.”

“Really?” He slams his mouth shut, the click of his teeth probably audible over the phone. “I mean, thanks.”

She chuckles, quiet, distant, like he can hear the miles between them. “I’m not always heartless, you know,” she says.

Dan’s breath comes out in a rush. Guilt bursts in its place, painful, bringing tears to his eyes. And he wants to tell her he never thought she was, but he can’t. She knows he can’t. He doesn’t even know what he thinks about her now, crying, hands shaking as he clutches his phone too tightly.

“Can I ask you something?” she says. “Without you getting mad?”

“Yeah.”

“How are you doing?” she says. “I know you don’t think your problems are with your mental health, and I’m not implying they are–” the not this time goes unspoken “–but I know you’ve had bad experiences with doctors and you’re my son.”

His breath catches. A tear rolls down his cheek, and he wipes it away with his hand.

This is his first appointment without her, he realizes. The first one in six years that she’s not driving him to, waiting outside or sitting next to him for the length of it. The first time she won’t smooth his hand over his knee in the waiting room, telling him it’ll be okay, that doctors can be trusted, even though they’d been proving otherwise for so long.

“I’m okay,” he says. “Phil’s coming with me.”

“That’s good,” she says, like she means it. “I am glad you have him, you know.”

He almost reminds her what she thought of him living with Phil last time they spoke, but his heart aches and his eyes are stinging and he doesn’t want to fight, not this time.

“Me too,” he says. “He’s the best, mum.”

She sounds like she’s smiling when she says: “I’d love to meet him, one day.”

Dan swallows. He can hardly picture it, bringing Phil back to a house filled with terrible memories and people he still doesn’t trust entirely. And yet there’s a tug in his chest, a bittersweet image forming in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t say anything.

Neither does she, for a while.

“I should get going,” is what she ends up saying. “As long as you’re okay? I’ll text you your medical information in a little bit.”

“Okay,” he says. “I’m okay. Thank you.”

She hums. “And Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“You should call your grandma. She misses her sofa buddy.”

He chuckles. It aches. Suddenly, he’s exhausted again. “Okay. I will,” he promises. “And mum?”

“Yeah?”

“No news is good news, okay? If I don’t call you after the appointment, I mean.”

“Okay,” she says. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

The line goes dead.

His head falls back against the cushion and his phone drops onto the sofa. Tears are rolling down his cheeks, and he’s not entirely sure he knows why.

Or maybe he just can’t untangle all the many, many reasons.

---

Phil’s quiet when he gets home.

He takes the smoothie Dan didn’t touch and sets it on the coffee table before dropping onto the empty cushion. His arm is draped across the back of the cushion, his hip just inches from Dan’s, as he turns his gaze to the open laptop, lit up with another Smosh video.

Dan’s been watching them mindlessly since his tears dried on his cheeks.

“This is a good one,” says Phil.

It’s an older one, the production value a little cheaper and humour a tad outdated. Probably more similar to what Phil had watched back at uni, Dan thinks. He tries to imagine it, a younger version of Phil, one with longer hair and a slightly narrower frame, sitting in a uni room like the one Dan moved out of before coming here.

He hardly can. Maybe because his mind is still muddled, hanging onto words he said during the phone call, onto all the things he should have said but didn’t.

“It is,” he says, just as the video ends.

He doesn’t start a new one.

Phil’s fingers sweep across his shoulder. In Dan’s peripheral, he can see Phil turn to look at him, but he doesn’t look back.

“Are you okay?” asks Phil.

Dan swallows. There’s a lump in his throat, a pressure behind his eyes so harsh it aches.

“Didn’t sleep very well,” he says.

Phil squeezes his shoulder. “I know.”

That makes the corner of his mouth quirk up. Of course Phil knows. He was there, arms wrapped around Dan as he fidgeted, tossed, and turned. His hands had combed through Dan’s hair, and his quiet questions about if Dan was okay were mumbled against his shoulder, his reassurance felt in his touch.

Phil usually falls asleep pretty quickly, Dan’s learned. Last night, he didn’t.

The hand at his shoulder tightens. Dan finally turns to face Phil.

“Is that all that’s bothering you?”

His eyes are soft, almost sad, as his hand rubs gentle circles against Dan’s skin. He knows. He must know something’s up. Dan has to remind himself that Phil’s seen him after countless sleepless nights, curled up in soft blankets on the sofa and dozing when his mind gets too tired to keep racing.

Today isn’t like that.

Dan reaches out to rest a hand on Phil’s knee, needing to feel grounded, as the first tear rolls down his cheek. Phil draws him closer, so Dan’s head is by his shoulder, his tears dripping down onto the fabric of Phil’s shirt.

There’s no pressure, none but the weight of Phil’s hand on his shoulder, when Dan says:

“I called my mum.”

Phil goes tense. “Oh,” he say. “How did that go?”

Dan swallows. “I don’t know.”

He really doesn’t. His chest feels too full with contradictions, the weight of past accusations crashing up against her understanding tone and he doesn’t know what to think anymore. He’s never been sure how to exist around her, not since pain first settled in his bones and she told him it was growing pains, it would pass, it would get better.

And it never did.

“I haven’t talked to her since I told her I was staying in Manchester,” he says, maybe as an afterthought, maybe because it’s felt heavy on his shoulders since he answered the phone.

“Was she nicer this time?”

He nods. Another tear falls. “She’s texting me my medical history,” says Dan. “She offered, because she– she knew I had trouble writing and remembering.”

Phil hums. His breath has gone even again. His mouth is close to the top of Dan’s head. He sounds hesitant when he speaks. “It sounds like she cares.”

Dan feels that, sharp and painful in his gut. Another tear rolls down his cheek, and his breath catches, and Phil holds him tighter like he’s scared Dan will fall apart.

Maybe he will.

It’s been so long,

He’s been so that sure she doesn’t actually care.

Now, he doesn’t know what to think.

---

His mum texts him.

Dan almost cries. His teeth dig into his lip and his ribs ache and he stares, wide-eyed, at the list of diagnoses and unexplained symptoms he’s had over the years. There’s the migraines they never treated at the beginning, the lightheadedness it took them four years to explain, the instructions to do more exercise that dot the whole six years that he’s been ill.

The first time he went to therapy, and the antidepressants they put him on, and the second time he went to therapy.

And every time he told his doctor he was still sick after that.

Phil’s hand lands on his wrist, gently pushing the phone from Dan’s line of sight. His voice is barely a whisper when he says: “Are you okay?”

Dan swallows. His throat aches.

Laid out like this, it doesn’t look that bad, a distant voice in his head that’s haunted him for too long tries to remind him that maybe he’s just making it all up. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. But Dan can remember the A&E doctor who turned him away because it was growing pains. Can remember the so many times his blood pressure was low before anyone bothered to point it out.

The time his doctor looked at him and said–

“Can we do something?” says Dan. “I want to– I need a distraction.”

Phil nods. In Dan’s peripheral, his phone screen goes black. The knot in his chest loosens, just a bit.

“Wanna play video games?” says Phil.

He shakes his head. “Wanna go out. It’s been too long.”

Phil’s brows furrow, like he’s about to point out that there’s a reason it’s been so long, about to warn Dan that he doesn’t want to make himself sick before such an important day.

Except part of Dan does. He’s done it before, forced himself to be in pain because maybe that way the doctors would actually see that he wasn’t lying. Not that it’s ever worked.

“Please?” he says.

Phil squeezes his wrist. “Okay.” His thumb drifts across Dan’s, careful and comforting. “Where do you want to go?”

---

Dan squeezes into his skinny jeans, even though the fabric burns his legs. He pulls a shirt over his head for what feels like the first time in forever. Though his knees are shaky, he bends down to tie his own laces, as Phil watches from where he’s leaning against the door.

“Are you sure about this?”

He reaches out, without a word, to help Dan stand again.

“I’m sure,” says Dan. “And don’t worry, you won’t need to take me to A&E this time.”

The corner of Phil’s mouth quirks up, and Dan knows he’s forcing it. He can feel his worry in the too-tight clench of Phil’s hand around his, the way his gaze trips over Dan legs when he wobbles as he stands.

He squeezes Phil’s fingers, forcing a smile of his own, as he opens the door.

It’s warm outside. The sky’s going purple as the sun sinks below the city. Dan realizes, staring up at it, that he hasn’t left the flat since he trip to A&E, hasn’t enjoyed being outside in far too long.

If his joints would let him, he’d suggest they walk around a bit. Instead, he stares up at the clouds and reminds himself to spend more evenings, when the sun won’t burn his eyes, on their little balcony, just to feel the wind against his cheeks again.

Phil tugs on his hand when the cab pulls up in front of them. They pile in, side by side in the back seat. Dan doesn’t put on his seatbelt. He can’t be bothered to deal with the harsh rub of fabric against his ribs.

His chest is still tight, the quiet buzz of anxiety at the back of his mind growing louder. He can still feel his phone, heavy in his pocket, can still imagine the text he hasn’t yet responded to. He can remember their last movie night, laughing and gasping and falling asleep with Phil’s hands trying to massage the pain away.

They hadn’t even gone out last time.

Dan stares out the window and hopes he can keep his promise that it’ll be okay this time.

They slip out of the car at the cinema. Phil pays the driver. Dan leans against the wall as he waits, wondering if the lines inside are long. It’s been so long since he’s been to the cinema, he can hardly imagine it anymore. The screens usually hurt his eyes and the audio gives him a headache and he doesn’t care today.

“You okay?”

Phil’s smiling at him, standing by the door. He holds it open for Dan, and buys their tickets for a random comedy neither of them particularly wanted to see. He lets Dan go find a seat as he buys them popcorn, soda, and a chocolate bar to share. He hands it over, in the darkness of the theatre, with a smile.

Between them, their knees bump together as the film starts.

---

They’re holding hands when it ends.

Dan’s eyes are starting to burn and his chest aches from laughing, but the voices in his head have dulled just enough that he can breathe a little easier. He doesn’t think about the appointment he needs to show up to tomorrow, or the doctor he hasn’t met yet who might dash his hopes all over again.

He stares at their joined hands as the cinema empties, smiling.

“You ready to go home?” says Phil.

Dan shrugs. He probably should give his spine a break by sinking into the sofa again, close his eyes against the bright lights of the city before a headache wells in his temples. But he doesn’t want to sit in the dark and wait until tomorrow, letting his fears return.

“Can we get pizza?”

“You up to walk?”

He nods. Phil helps him to his feet and leads him out of the cinema. He knows Manchester better than Dan does, and tells a story about coming to watch movies with Ian when he was younger as they find the nearest pizza place. Dan listens, maybe more attentively than he needs to, to keep his mind from going hazy as the city moves around him.

There’s still a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Dan wonders if him of a few years ago would have believed that he’d end up here.

The restaurant they end up in is small and quiet, and they slide into a booth in the corner of the room. Dan sinks back against the cushion, realizing that Phil’s smiling, too.

His chest feels warm. His fingers twist in the tablecloth, because part of him misses holding Phil’s hand.

“Thanks for tonight,” says Dan. “I had fun.”

Under the table, Phil knocks their feet together.

“I did too,” he says.

[purplebenjy]

1997-Part Four

“Ma?”

“Yeah Benj?”

Benjy shifts his weight from one foot to the other as he watches his mom cut up vegetables for dinner. She looks beautiful in the light coming in the kitchen window, and when she smiles at her son, Benjy almost feels bad for not telling her all of the truth.

Almost.

“I’m gonna crash at Ollie’s tonight, is that okay?”

“Sure, Benj. Are his mom and dad okay with it?”

He shifts his weight again, his hands going into the pockets of his best jeans.

“Yeah they are. But uh, he’s got a dad and his dad has a boyfriend.”

Benjy has to stop himself from wincing as he waits for Suki’s response in the silence. She glances at him as she shoves all the vegetables into the pot.

“Oh. Well that’s fine as long as they’re both okay with you being there?”

He tries not to smile too big at her.

“Yeah. They are.”

“You need a ride?”

“Nah Ollie’s on his way.”

“Come give me a hug, Benj.”

He does, hugging her from the side. They’re the same height.

“I miss when it was just us, mama.” He says in Gujarati, referring to the year or so that Mack had moved out and before Curt, but meaning just his family.

His mom presses a kiss to the side of his head before answering him in Gujarati.

“I know, my Benj. I know.” She smiles sadly at him and tucks some of his loose hair behind his ear.

“Are you happy?” Benjy asks as Curt walks in the back door from work. Suki just keeps smiling at him, still kind of sad.

“I’m proud of you, Benjy. I love you a lot, baby boy.”

He squeezes her hand.

“Love you too, Mama.” He says in English, grabbing his duffel bag and his skateboard from where he left them in the doorway.

“Bye, Curt.”

He glances over his shoulder at his mom.

“I wish you were happy, Mama.” He says in Gujarati. “See you tomorrow.”

As he walks away he hears Curt speak.

“What’d he say? I hate it when you two do that.”

~

He’s so nervous when Ollie picks him up that he’s incapable of shutting up.

“...so my last oldest brother is about to get engaged or at least I ~think~ he is cause he is cause he was talking to one of my sisters about rings and if I have to sit through another fucking wedding I swear-“

“Benj.” Ollie’s voice has a smile in it as he pulls into his driveway.

“We don’t have to do this.”

Benjy groans and leans over the center console to kiss him as he parks.

“Oh but I want to. I just need to uh, relax. Do you have any wine?”

~

Benjy is flat on his back and Ollie is kissing down the side of his neck. They’ve been in this position tons of times before, but this time, they’re in the guest room of Ollie’s dad’s house and the only background noise is “Fade Into You.” Ollie tastes like the half bottle of white wine they’ve split and his hair glows in the light of the candles he’s lit.

“Ollie?”

“Yeah, baby?”

Benjy can’t help but smile stupidly at the term of endearment and the breathlessness in his voice.

“I uh...I want you to um...”

He trails off as Ollie starts kissing down his chest, undoing the buttons on his flannel along the way. He kisses Benjy’s skin as he revealing it.

“What do you want Benj?”

Benjy’s hand comes to rest on the side of Ollie’s face, cupping his cheek. He stares into his eyes and the bottom of his stomach drops out, arousal pooling where it had been. Any remaining traces of doubt float away when Ollie smiles at him.

“You. I want-I want to feel you.”

“Jesus.”

Ollie kisses him fiercely, moaning softly into the kiss.

“Benj are you sure? That’s-I thought since I’ve done it before you’d want uh, top...”

Benjy reaches up to kiss him again. “I trust you. I want-god, Ollie I want to feel you. Please?”

Benjy is shirtless now, and he paws at the fabric of Ollie’s shirt until he pulls it over his head. Skin on skin, Benjy sighs at the contact, his hips rising up to meet Ollie’s as he lets out the softest sound of need. They quickly remove their pants, and when Ollie’s hand ghosts up over Benjy’s erection, Benjy lets himself groan as loud as he wants to.

“You’re so pretty.” Ollie says against his lips, which only makes Benjy groan again.

“You like not having to be quiet, Benj?”

Benjy laughs, breathless, reaching up for another kiss “Shut up.”

“I cant. You’re too fucking cute.”

Benjy reaches up and sucks a hickey on Ollie’s neck. His hands wander down his back and push his boxers down, grabbing his ass and grinning when Ollie lets out a noise of his own. Their kisses get more intense, and Benjy laughs when he hears the sound of fabric ripping as Ollie grabs at his boxers.

“You-you want me?”

“So bad, Benjy. So bad. Hold on.” Ollie gets off of the bed and grabs lube and a condom.

“I’m gonna go slow. I wanna have you ready for me. I wanna have you so ready for me.”

Benjy groans, sitting up on his elbows to watch as Ollie squirts lube on his fingers.

“Spread your legs for me, pretty boy?”

Benjy whines. “You really think I’m pretty?”

Ollie presses a kiss to the bottom of Benjy’s thigh. “The prettiest.”

Without warning, one of Ollie’s fingers starts tracing around his asshole, and Benjy’s breath catches in his throat.

“Oh my god.”

“You like that?”

Benjy lets out a squeak, unable to speak at the moment , the anticipation and arousal clogging his throat. Carefully, Ollie’s pointer finger enters him, and Benjy doesn’t hold back the small scream that escapes him at the pleasure and pain of the sting.

“Holy fucking shit-!”

Ollie laughs breathlessly. “Oh my god, Benj.”

Benjy’s breathing is hard as he adjusts to the feeling of Ollie. It’s incredible, feeling him, having him inside of him, the closeness to someone else that Benjy couldn’t have even imagined with another person. Benjy isn’t sure how it could get better than this.

Then Ollie starts moving and it’s all Benjy can do to grip the bedsheets and stay on Earth.

“More-“ Benjy croaks, realizing that if one of Ollie’s fingers feels this good, having his cock inside of him would be insane.

Ollie laughs again, gently pressing another finger inside of him and picking up the pace. Benjy whines, moving slightly so he can watch as much as possible, his breathing getting even harder when his eyes shift to Ollie’s.

“So good-“ Benjy croaks, falling flat on his back as Ollie keeps stretching him out. Another scream escapes him as Ollie starts scissoring his fingers inside of him, and Benjy can’t take it anymore.

“Ollie, Ollie-please, please fuck me. Please baby, please-“

Ollie’s hand that isn’t inside of him holds onto his hip and he smiles at Benjy. He pulls his fingers out of him and uses both hands to pull Benjy to the edge of the bed, spreading his legs further. Ollie stands and puts the condom on, giving himself a few quick strokes that makes Benjy groan. Ollie’s finger teases around his hole as they lock eyes.

“You ready for me?”

“P-please.”

Slowly, carefully, Ollie pushes into him. Benjy inhales sharply as he does, his eyes closing as every color he knows flashes behind his closed eyes.

“Holy shit, Benj.”

“Ollie-“

He starts to move slowly, and the sting of the stretch burns but the pleasure is there too, and the more Ollie moves, the better it feels.

“Okay?” Ollie pants, bending forward to kiss him. All Benjy can do is nod and kiss him back.

“I’m gonna go faster-you feel so good, baby. So, so, good.”

“You too.” He manages around a whine. Ollie’s left hand grips his and his right curves around Benjy’s knee as he holds his legs apart. As Ollie picks up the pace, Benjy starts moving too, pushing himself onto Ollie and moaning when he starts hitting a spot deep inside of him. Everything inside of Benjy starts to shake, and then Ollie slams into the spot and everything bursts.

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god-“

He comes in hot bursts all over his own stomach and chest, sudden and forceful, almost taking him by surprise. Benjy’s vision whites out, on the highest high he’s ever known. When Benjy finally comes down, Ollie is next to him on the massive bed, and he uses the last little bit of his strength to hold onto him.

~

They lay there for who knows how long, Ollie’s hands playing lazily in his hair. Benjy takes in a deep breath and brings his hand up to trace the side of Ollie’s face.

“You’re wonderful, you know that?” Ollie kisses his palm before responding. “So are you.”

Benjy shakes his head.

“Nuh-uh. Not like this. Not like you.”

Ollie just smiles at him sleepily, slinging his arm across Benjy’s chest. He looks so happy, but now that the post orgasm haze has cleared, all Benjy can think of is how sad he’d looked at the beach yesterday.

And how even though Benjy made him look that happy now, he was always going to be making him look sad too.

“You’re so wonderful.” He says again, which makes Ollie open his eyes and look at him. Benjy wonders if he can hear the difference in his voice. “And I’m not being fair to you.”

“What do you mean?”

The way Ollie’s eyes dance lets Benjy know he already knows. But Benjy needs to say it.

“You deserve someone wonderful. Someone’s who...I’m not out, Ollie. I cant’t-I can’t really be your boyfriend if I’m not, can I?”

His sadness is back now. And it’s Benjy’s fault again but it’s somehow even worse than yesterday, because this time he’s done it on purpose.

“I don’t care about that, Benjy.”

Benjy takes Ollie’s hand and kisses his knuckles.

“But I do. I do a lot. I don’t-“ Benjy hates himself for the way his voice breaks.

“I can’t be everything you need.”

Ollie doesn’t say anything in response, he just wraps both of his arms around Benjy and holds him tight, his chin digging into Benjy’s shoulder. Benjy almost wants to cry, but instead he takes a deep breath, loving the feeling of his back pressed against Ollie’s chest.

“So you’re breaking up with me?”

Benjy shakes his head.

“No. But I’m telling you that you can break up with me. When you need to. When you...when you find someone.”

Ollie sighs against him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“I don’t know if I can ever find someone who can replace you.”

~

But he does.

It’s two weeks after school starts back up. The summer finished like it started, but back to school felt like an invisible timer that neither of them were talking about. They sleep together whenever they can, and knowing that each time it happens could be their last makes each kiss all the more special.

Benjy knows it’s all over when Ollie’s car is in front of his house when he gets back from school. It’s quick and expected but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make the corner of Benjy’s heart tear off.

“What’s his name?” Benjy says before he can stop himself, rubbing the back of his hand against his eyes to wipe a few stray tears.

“Benj...”

“No I know, I know. I wanted this for you. I’m-“

Ollie cuts him off to give him a deep, emotional kiss.

“I want you to be happy, Ollie. That’s all I want.”

Ollie puts his hand on his cheek.

“Ryan.”

Benjy sniffs once, nodding and pulling away from Ollie’s touch. “He better make you happy or I’ll kick his ass.”

Ollie laughs wetly. It’s Benjy’s turn to kiss Ollie, and, knowing for sure it’ll be their last one, he makes it count.

“Thank you. For this summer. For pulling a knife. For kissing me. For...” He trails off and smiles at him. “Yeah. Bye Ollie.”

He gets out of the car and takes a deep breath.

“Benjy.”

He turns around, rubbing his eye and still smiling.

“Yeah?”

“You’re gonna be enough for someone. When you’re ready to be.”

His smile grows and a little bit of the sadness in his chest lessens. His first boyfriend waves goodbye as he pulls away from the curb.

Benjy realizes for the first time just then, when his heart is breaking, that Ollie had held a big piece of it.

~

He mopes around for a few weeks, sullen and quiet. He paints and repaints scenes of famous couples breaking up, getting some relief watching Marilyn Monroe dump JFK, Romeo tell Juliet to fuck off and Kurt tell off Courtney.

He starts to feel a little better, and that’s when Curt decides to pounce.

“Where’s your little video game friend been?” He asks over dinner, when his mom is going back into the kitchen to get more potatoes. Benjy takes a big breath in, closing his eyes and counting to ten.

“I asked you a question, Benjy.”

“Why do you care, Curt?”

Suki comes in with her eyebrows in her bangs. She looks at her son as she sets the bowl on the table.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Curt says, stabbing a piece of broccoli “I just wanted to know why the kid Benjy’s all fruity for doesn’t come around anymore.”

And that’s what fucking does it.

“Why the FUCK do you care, huh?! You hoping I’m fruity so you can get in on it or something you old fuck?”

“Benjy!” Suki’s hand bangs on the table in anger, but Benjy ignores her, standing, his hands balling into fists as he stares down his step dad. Curt laughs.

“No, you little prick, I’m hoping you’re a queer so I can kick your miserable ass out of this house and so me and your mother can get on with our lives.”

Benjy throws his hands up in the air, sarcasm thick in his voice as he shouts back.

“Then you’ve got your fucking wish, sweetheart! I like boys!”

The silence that follows his shouting lets what he’s just said settle in his chest and fill with anxiety. He tears his eyes away from Curt’s ugly face and turns to his mom.

“I’m sorry mama.” He says in Gujarati. Suki just stares back at him, her face blank. “I wanted to tell you.”

“Will you fucking stop doing that!?” Curt shouts, but both of them ignore him. Suki stands and comes next to Benjy, her hands folded in front of her. Benjy sniffs, tears coming to his eyes. He’s not sure what’s going to happen. Being okay with Ollie essentially having two dads was one thing, but her own son? When Curt feels this strongly? Benjy can’t live here anymore. Not with him there. Not now.

“It’s him or me, Mama.” He says softly in Gujarati, his voice shaking with emotion.

“Get out.” Suki says softly, looking at Benjy. Curt laughs triumphantly and Benjy feels his insides shatter. That is until his mother smiles at him, beautifully, and takes his hand.

“Curt. Get out of my house.”

He stares at them, looking like an uncooked salmon.

“Excuse me?!”

“I’m done. I’m done letting you bully me and my children. This marriage was a mistake. Get the hell out.”

Benjy expects him to argue, to put up a fight, but Curt just slowly pushes his chair away from the table.

“You’re making a mistake.”

Suki laughs.

“I’ll see you in court.”

The front door slams and Benjy hears a car start as his mom pulls him in for a big hug. Both of them are crying now, and Benjy just keeps apologizing quietly against his Mom’s chest.

“Benjy.”

She holds him in front of him, speaking in Gujarati quickly and freely.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs, swiping at his eyes.

“I was afraid. I don’t know. I just figured it out this summer. With Ollie.”

That makes his voice break and he hates it.

“Ollie’s your boyfriend?”

“He was.”

His mom clicks her tongue.

“Oh Benjy baby, baby, baby. I’m so sorry. For all of it. I’m sorry you thought you couldn’t tell me. I’m sorry about Curt.”

“I’m sorry about Curt. I shouldn’t have yelled.”

She laughs softly and kisses the side of his head.

“You didn’t say anything that wasn’t the truth.”

Benjy laughs wetly, and hugs his mom back. He puts his chin on her shoulder and sighs.

“Mama.”

“Hmm?”

“Despite everything, I’m glad it’s just us again.”

She smiles, pulling away from him and holding his biceps. Benjy feels like she’s really seeing him for the first time.

“Me too, Benj. It makes me really happy.”

Benjy gives her a tired smile in return to hers.

“Me too, mama. Me too.”

[swearronchanel]

8.08

how did the series fly by this quickly? anyways, let’s see how it ends

Aww poor Val

Now Shelagh and May, I can’t with all the sadness already

Vanessa Redgrave isn’t helping either ugh

But I’ve missed the nuns being nuns and singing I’m glad they squeezed some in

It’s so hard to be stuck in the middle like that, sorry Valerie

Now a teenage girl with cancer wow they REALLY wanna make me cry tonight

Shelagh always keeping herself busy lol omg like that to do list is serious

How many kids does this lady have damn

did he say Schroeder like the Baroness in sound of music? my subtitles skipped that and my hearing is shit apparently 

Val didn’t even put makeup on, you know she can’t even

“I’ve rather missed the cinched in waist” there’s my Trix

Also love her plaid pants

Cutting the photograph right in half ugh this is terrible

Lucille is so sweet

Ugh I feel that I hate hospitals so much

ANGELA SPOKE!! I’m shook

MAY SPOKE WHATTTTT!?

this is sad but I’m too shook that both of these silent little girls just spoke it’s a Christmas in March miracle

this is so rough bc we know Val’s gran really didn’t mean to cause harm. It’s all the system’s fault man for making women’s lives so difficult

What’s wrong with Reggie?😭

Phyllis!! Ugh I’ve missed her. The lack of her has been unappreciated

Also I still love Ms Higgins LMAO I want Phyllis and her to go out somewhere

Omg I’m in tears I can’t like this is heartbreaking, my grandma is my number 1 I can’t imagine being in Val’s situation

Someone tell me what’s wrong with Reggie and who must I fight to solve the issue !!!

Aww and now May’s gone 😭 

LMFAOOO SHELAGH AND FRED

the swat of the hand is a mood 😂

RIP to the disco ball, symbolizing my energy crashing and burning

LUCILLE DEFENDING VALERIE YESS

but i would’ve thrown hands like 1) do not talk to me like that & B) mind your business bc it’s between my gran and me

“Gentle sir” I still believe Sister MJ has a platonic crush on Cyril and I love it

LMAOO oops they’re all in their slips omg too funny

Remember when the girls had funnier lines like Trixie asking Jenny Lee if she was naked and indecent when knocking on her door? 😹

Aww now Vi everyone is succumbing to tears can we stop PLS

Why is this conversation so pure? Cyril is a gem

Poppet😭 Sister Hilda sounding like Mrs Potts

“I’ll teach you” ok I really like Sister Hilda

Pub money omg

“How nice..” LMAO Sgt Woolfe really has trouble with the curve 😭 is he naive or just too persistent

But Phyllis is smart af to set them up so she’s free from him😂

“You fixed that tap” LMAO I love Reggie

GIRLFRIEND! 😭 “no, beautiful” PUREEE

YAy Phyllis is coming home *starts singing in the key of one last time from Hamilton, Phyllis Crane is coming homeeeee*

“If only the laws were different” preach Val. We know the real villain. 

“No one can go through life without experiencing any pain at all” ain’t that the damn ugly truth 😞

Lucille giving her a gown ugh my heart

Reggie writing a letter to his lady again my heart

Ugh now the dad has a sob story this is all too much

Now Sister MJ will say something that’ll hit the feels as well

“None of that defeatist talk” remember when the Dowager Countess Violet Crawley said “don’t be a defeatist my dear, it’s very middle class” LMAO I miss Downton but let’s continue

Another baby girl

Ugh more feels why is this finale so damn sad

Sgt Woolfe sent Ms Higgins flowers, get ittt girl

Omg this is too much sadness I can’t

The tears in sister Mj’s eyes 😭

Dr Turner and Fred having a little moment is honestly sweet. They’re such dads

“I am the elder” OK SISTER MJ WE HEAR U SIS !! Sister J can take a seat! you know if she were around this series..

poor Fred was so worried

Not gonna lie I lowkey didn’t see this coming. I thought May was really leaving. But you know love gotta conquer all or this isn’t a ctm finale Lmaoo 😂

And now the Turner’s officially collect kids ((it’s a It Takes Two (1995) reference  LMAOO pls don’t come for me ill stop))

May is adorable & I love her

MS CRANE IS BACK IN ACTION YES HELLO OUR SOVEREIGN LONG MAY SHE REIGN IN NONATUS HOUSE SHALL WE POP OUR ROLODEX’S IN HONOR

“Where would I be if not along side you?” GOSH SISTER J MORE TEARS FOR ME

SISTER MJ PULLED UP TOO, UGH I CANT MY HEART

I can’t take the wigs serious like why do they wear them LMAO

England really can’t let go of a lot of dated traditions can they? like the 18th century looking wigs and well, monarchs 😂😂

“They never said that to Cinderella” it just gets more sad by the minute

EXCUSE ME SIR DONT SNAP AT BEATRIX FRANKLIN LIKE THAT

Cath came omg

Can there be one smidge of happiness pls ? I need some hope here

She’s changing her plead to guilty omgg

6 years oh shit

“Until you girls with all your training and all your learning sort something out with the men who make the law..” PREACH GRAN

ABORTION BEING ILLEGAL ONLY STOPS SAFE ABORTIONS FROM HAPPENING!!! yelling at brick walls at this point

I’m so glad Val and her Gran are made peace😭

the nurses serving princess looks😍😍

FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS WALTZ I CAN NOTTTT

PATRICK, MAY, AND ANGELA

IM IN TEARS GOOD FREAKING BYE

ScHRODER DRESSED IN CINDERELLA BLUE SOMEONE HELP

Phyllis holding a random girl and Sister J holding Angela 😭😭

“Gathered together we find our light, and each spark shifts and multiplies scattering its radiance on our ordinary lives. Like everything precious, more valuable when shared. Like every common miracle, made of the stuff of stars.”

Omg Violet brought Jane I cant

“Let the line shine...See the hope, see the promise.. Tell your truth. Tell your story. Tell your love.” WOW feels

THIS WASNT ENOUGH HAPPINESS LIKE I KNOW THATS LIFE BUT STILL I NEED MORE POSITIVITY TO GET ME TO CHRISTMAS

can’t believe I watched the entire series in real time, from London like wow life is crazy

But my time is halfway done already, catch me watching the Christmas special back on my couch in the states. ok bye see ya maybe in december

[sunriseskog]

Steel PT3- Auston Matthews

Warnings: Angst, Cursing

Word Count: 1703

Part 1 Part 2 Requests are OPEN

It had officially been a year since you left. Auston kept a countdown on the lock screen of his phone. Anytime he would start smiling or joking around like he used to he would look at his phone and immediately return to the shell that Mitch had come to know. He knew it was Auston’s fucked up way of punishing himself for messing up so bad, and Mitch was the first to admit that he had messed up bad. But Mitch also knew that nobody deserved this, nobody should feel like they have to rip happiness away from themselves every minute of every day. But Auston did and at this point, Mitch didn’t think he was ever going to get his best friend back.

It didn’t take anyone long to notice the effect that your absence had on Auston, especially on the ice. He was playing, and he was playing well, but of course he was— he was Auston fucking Matthews. The thing was, he wasn’t playing safely. Hearing Auston say that he had nothing left to live for was one of the scariest moments of Mitch’s life, second only to actually seeing Auston play like he had nothing left to live for. Auston had missed more than a few games from either injury or suspension and the games that he did play resulted in him in the penalty box at least once. Honestly, people were starting to get worried, yes, of course, he was scoring and racking up assists like no player any team had seen before, but he was quickly approaching the point where he became more of a liability than an asset for the team.

It was around Bye Week that Mitch decided that something had to give. Auston had to all his head out of your ass and put it back on his shoulders, and Mitch was going to make sure it happened if he had to do it his damn self. So upon hearing that Auston planned on staying in Toronto and working out for the entirety of what little break they had, Mitch promptly added an additional ticket and an extra room to his and Steph’s reservations in Hawaii.

“You’re going and I truly, honestly, and really do not give a single flying fuck whether you want to or not,” Mitch said firmly before Auston could begin protesting, flaming the door behind himself for emphasis.

“You deserve this and you know it. Besides, I already talked to your boss and she gave you the time off so you’re pretty much stuck going with me,” your roommate insisted, turning you around and pushing you towards your closet so you could begin packing. You paused in the doorway and thought to yourself for a few seconds, upon realizing that there really was no way out of this, you shrugged and began enthusiastically picking out outfits for the trip; if there wasn’t anything you could do to stop it then you might as well have a good ass time. Your life had become completely, totally, and entirely consumed with work since the moment you arrived in Pittsburg and it had done wonders for your career. The only issue with that was that you had never really sat down and processed what had happened, in the moment it was easier to just shut everything off to deal with later, but then outside of the moment that was a hell of a lot easier as well, so you just… kept everything turned off. There was no sense in starting to feel shit again, especially with how well things were going with your job. Anytime you got a second the breathe or you felt any remnants of emotion sneak up on you, you just took on another project to keep yourself distracted. You were pretty sure you could do the same on this vacation, you’d just have to hide it from your roommate and fill any extra spare time with some resort-affiliated eye candy.

You were leaving the next morning, and while you appreciated the lack of time to mull and obsess over the work you were going to miss, you weren’t excited about only having a few hours to pack before heading to bed. You threw in a majority the casual clothes that you owned, given the move and your obsession with work, it wasn’t like there were very many. You made sure to throw in a variety of swimsuits and coverups, knowing you, you’d probably be spending a majority of your time tanning and laying out in the sand.

“Claire, i love you with all of my heart but why the literal fuck did you have to make our flight inside of the ass crack of dawn. I don’t even feel alive right now.” You groaned, leaning your head on your roommate's shoulder as the two of you made your way towards the boarding gate.

“Because this way, we get there right at dinner time, eat some fish and drink as many cocktails as our bodies can tolerate by the beach, watch the sunset, and then go back to our rooms and pass the fuck out for 12 hours,” she said with a cheer, wrapping her arm around your shoulder.

“…ya okay, that's fair,” you admitted with a shrug. “but I want the aisle.” You smirked, quickly running ahead of her to have your boarding pass scanned.

“goddamn it,” you heard her mutter, out of breath as she came up behind you at the airplane doors. “you know I cant run that fast! I buy you a whole ass vacation and this is the treatment I get?” She exclaimed, jokingly slapping you on the arm.

“Hey, I didn’t make you buy me this vacation, that was all you, b” you quipped back, placing your bag in the overhead compartment. You stood to the side with a smirk as you watched Claire reluctantly climb into the window seat. She had splurged for first class, so it wasn’t like the seats were bad, it had just been a running joke with the two of you since a work flight to Indianapolis almost ruined your entire friendship. After settling in and becoming accustomed to the altitude, you grabbed your laptop and began editing the proposal you boss had sent you that morning. Knowing Claire was already preparing some snarky comment.

“We’re not technically on vacation yet, and even when we are there really isn’t anything you can do to stop me,” you smirked, without taking your eyes off of the computer screen. She huffed under her breath but kept any comments to herself so you hummed gratefully and plugged in your headphones so you could begin working.

A few hours later, you had finished the entire assignment and managed to nap for a couple hours by the time the flight attendant came over the intercom to announce that you were beginning your descent.

“We’ve got like… less than a half hour layover and then we’re just jumping on a flight that stopped here to refuel, but there aren’t very many people boarding from here so we gotta hurry, dude,” Mitch emphasized, pushing both Auston and his suitcase so that the three of them didn’t lose all hope of making their flight.

“Planes can do that?” Auston questioned, shaking Mitch’s hands off of his shoulders and picking up speed slightly.

“well I’d fucking hope so, or we’re pretty screwed, aren’t we?” Steph sassed, pushing through the boys to walk in front of hem as she placed her sunglasses on the top of her head to try and find their boarding gate. Auston whistled at her attitude, giving Mitch a wink out of the corner of his eye. It was moments like this that Mitch had come to cherish more than was manly to admit. These glimpses of who his best friend used to be what allowed him to hold onto hope that he was still in there somewhere. Mitch’s sense of relief retreated quickly as he watched Auston look down at his phone. Mitch knew what was coming next, Auston’s shoulders would drop and his breath would shudder and his eyes would blink a couple times to keep himself from crying and then he’d retreat back within himself. Anyone who was around Auston enough to notice was familiar enough with his routine, but it didn’t change the fact that it broke their hearts nonetheless.

“no fucking way,” Claire sat up in her seat quickly. Jostled from the daydream she was forming while staring outside of the window. “(Y/N)… don’t hate me and don’t freak out,” she spoke slowly as if she were talking to a child.

“What?” You questioned with an eye roll, taking your headphone out to turn towards her.

“Umm… aren’t those Toronto Maple Leafs suitcases?” She hesitantly questioned, pointing out the window and turning her body so you could see as well.

“…no fucking way,” you breathed, feeling your heart drop in your chest.

“Okay, listen, it's probably nothing,” she rushed out quickly, attempting at some form of damage control. “the likelihood that its actually Au-“

“Dont,” you interrupted through clenched teeth. “Don’t… don’t say his name. Please.” You whispered, eyes still focused on where the suitcases were moving slowly up towards the plane.

“We’re technically in economy plus, but to answer your question, no we are not in first class, Auston,” Mitch repeated, getting frustrated with his best friend. “You go in front of us, we wanna sit together.” He pushed Auston in front of himself and Steph, wrapping his arms around her and leaning down to press a kiss on the top of her head. Preoccupied with themselves, the couple failed to notice that Auston had stopped dead in his tracks upon entering the plane. Crashing into the back of his best friend, Mitch almost missed the shocked gasp he had let out.

“(Y/N)…?” Auston choked out. Your head snapped up and you let out the breath you had unconsciously been holding since Claire had pointed out the unmistakable suitcases less than 20 minutes ago. ‘Shit,’ you thought, unable to tear your eyes away from him. ‘shit. fuck. what the fuck. what the literal fucking fuck.’

Notes: part 4 will be up by friday! As always, let me know what you guys think or if you have any requests :)

[sunnysidewrites]

Best Friends to Lovers!Seokmin

HAHAHA THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS!!!!!! I PULLED THIS SHIZ ON YALL!!!1!11!! this is part 2 of seokmin’s bday present. and yes i know im over a month late leAVE ME ALONE!! THIS IS THE FIRST BULLETPOINT AU OF 2018!!! AND YES ITS AT THE END OF MARCH!!! FORGIVE ME CHILDREN!!!! i had SOOOO much fun writing this but maybe a bit too much bc i think i went overboard,,, but i cant help it that he needs so much love!!!

this is THE. LONGEST. BULLETPOINT. AU. I’VE. EVER. WRITTEN. it has definitely surpassed assassin!cheol pt 2 by a long shot and im a little concerned honestly bc i go OFF whenever i talk about my biases, especially the underrated ones. (wonwoo, you’ll get your turn one day wait for me bby)

happy bday to my sunshine pt 2. i love you so much that words will never be able to express it, even as a writer who writes as a hobby and has to Put Things Into Words. you’ve been such an amazing influence not only on the members, but also on carats and other diverse fans. i’ve always believed the saying that the brightest smiles hold the most pain, and i may not know all of your struggles, but i know how much you have to hide behind this idol front. we love you unconditionally, so please keep shining for us. also allow yourself to be sad and other negative emotions, but there must be darkness in order for the light to be appreciated, right? thank you for being the ball of sunshine we so deeply love. 💕💕💕

warnings: might give you diabetes on how soft and sweet i was feelin!!! as a double bias, it is hard to give everyone equal love so this is the 1 time i could fully dive into it!! also seokmin is a flirty and jealous drink sipper

Part 1: Be There In Spirt

Seokmin was your go-to for anything and everything

Whether it was to find a movie buddy or seeking advice, he was always there

You first met him at some social event your friend dragged you to

“So you can talk to more people!” Your friend would respond when you asked why

You really didn’t care much, if at all, for parties unless someone you’re acquaintanced with was also there

Your friend was too occupied with other people, so you just grabbed some food and juice and settled yourself in the kitchen

Someone entered the door and you could hear the volume of his muffled voice even from the other side of the door before he entered

You were just chilling at the countertop with your back to him and munching on your tortilla chips with salsa that you didn’t care who entered

He noticed that you were the only one there and you were eating and occasionally sighing mood tho

As he was opening his soda, he asked you pointedly, “is the food good, at least?”

You were startled and slightly jumped at the sudden sound of someone’s voice

You turned around to be greeted with the goofiest yet brightest smile

Is it possible to see that bright of a smile or one at all when someone’s drinking? Bc he definitely made it work

You just finished swallowing your food and merely brushed your hands and shrugged, “it’s pretty bland like this party,” which earned a heart laugh from the boy

“You got dragged here, too?” You nodded and cracked a smile. “What, was the whole antisocial ‘take refuge in food’ act a dead giveaway?”

He smiled and lightly chuckled, “that, and how you were muttering about getting dragged here as you munched on your chips,” he gestured to your now empty plate

“Hey, correction — I said that I was brought here against my will”

“Like that’s such a big difference,” he says with a smile on his lips as he finishes up his soda

“And it’s not every day that I meet a cool, tortilla-chip-eating person at a social, but maybe I would let myself get dragged out more often”

You kinda stared back at him and slowly blinked bc like

Was that a hint of flirtation in his tone or were you just that self-centered?

Maybe best of both worlds

You raised an eyebrow at him, “you want to see a loner at the snack table?”

“It’s easier to approach you or anyone like this, isn’t it?” He flashes another one of his infamous pearly grins and reaches in your bowl to steal a chip and pops it in his mouth

You jokingly say, “Oh, you think we’re friends now?”

He laughs throatily and puts his hands up in defense

“I think we’re past the stage of bonding over stale chips and salsa at this point”

And you’re cut off shortly when his rowdy group of friends interrupts the friendly banter y’all had rip :(((

Those darn cockblockers

“I’ll see you around, Tostitos,” he throws in a wink and gives you a short wave as he backs away from the door and leaves you as quickly as he entered

You shake your head and look at the sad, crinkled bag of chips and salsa

“Did he just nickname me after a brand of this stale party food??????”

What an iconic first impression tbh bless

Ever since then he would have this weird nickname system of naming you after foods you would eat to make fun of you or just joke around

“Cheer up, cheese puff!” ok this actually sounds kinda cute and now I’m soft :’(((

“Be there or be square, you pretzel”

You: “that didn’t even make any sense”

“Don’t be salty” ba dum tss

“Can you help me out, (peanut) butter cup?”

“Whatever you say, nerd...s”

“Okay you’re not getting any of my other candy then, seok”

He’s the only one out of your friend group — actually just everyone in general — to yell directly into your ear as a greeting

He calls it “cute”………………….. ok seok

But it’s ok bc he gives out the best hugs

Or maybe it’s just the best to you heheh ;)))

Invented!! Bear!! Hugs!!

The best ones that crush your lungs and you can barely wheeze out a breath

Your ideal hang out session with him involves screaming at the top of your lungs while playing Mario Kart and having a whole junk food feast sprawled out on the coffee table

“bRO YOU MADE ME SWERVE”

“GET OUT YOU’RE IN MY WAY”

Bonus: the chips and candy are also sometimes used to pelt at each other

It’s honestly more of a damn jungle when y’all are together it’s amazing LMAO

The type to crash at your place unannounced whenever he wants

You would open the door and he would just stroll in and look through your fridge like he’s lived there all his life

“WHY are you going through my fridge??? You need to go home, I have things to do today”

“Eh, we can just work alongside together—you’re running low on juice”

“Imma juice you boi if you don’t leAVE”

Your friend group most likely carries a pair of earplugs whenever you’re together

But underneath their rolling of eyes, they lowkey highkey ship the hell outta y’all

They even sometimes drop gigantic hints for you to get together but,,, things don’t exactly go their way

“Hey, Seokmin, my parents are having a barbecue this weekend. Maybe bring a plus one? Like uhhhhhh Y/N?” Real subtle

And he’d be like “what, Y/N??? Why would we need a plus one??? Aren’t we all going together anyways?”

The same thing happens on your end too smh

“My cousin is having a birthday party, you wanna come with? You can bring a date or whatever, probably Seokmin or something”

“Seok??? He would probably burn the place down HAHA but ya I guess I can bring him *shrug*”

And every time, both of you would ask: “but why (that other person)??? I can bring (insert another random member)”

GET A CLUE BABES!!! OH MY LORD

And they would just shake their head like sigh look at these naive kids

Mingyu: so are we just gonna let them be dumb like this orrrr????

Cheol: yeah let’s just leave them alone — nO THEY DON'T SEE HOW PERFECT THEY ARE TOGETHER WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING I’m with u on that one cheols

So this is the O Great Seungcheol’s plan: make each other jealous without knowing y’all would get jealous

A foolproof plan, amiright folks????

And what other cliche perfect way to do that than a WEDDING

it just so happens that Seokmin’s aunt is conveniently getting married and he’s inviting the whole crew

And the guys are like mwHAHAHA THIS IS PERFECT

Everyone’s talking about who’s bringing who as a date and things like that and you’re just chilling and scrolling on your phone

And everyone’s making eyes at each other without you knowing bc they’re like ok y’all time to initiate I Still Get Jealous Plan

“how about you, Y/N? who are you taking?”

And Seokmin subconsciously wants to know too bc he’s tuning in with the rest of them LOL

And you don’t even bother looking up at your screen bc that’s how indifferent you are to this whole thing

“I don’t really care, I guess anyone who doesn’t have a date or something”

Seokmin is about to open his mouth and ask you since that’s your usual thing

BUT SHOCKER!! SOMEONE BEATS HIM TO IT!!

“How about going with me? I don’t have anyone”

And you expected Seokmin to say those words, but you look up and see Jeonghan smile at you

THE LOOK OF B E TR A YA L ON SEOKS FACE DID THE TEMPERATURE JUST DROP BC IT IS C O L D IN HERE

Admittedly, you feel a little odd going with someone who’s your best friend and go-to for everything but hannie is your friend, so you don’t mind too much

So you’re like “o-oh sure that works”

And you steal a glance at seok but he has an unreadable expression and is smiling like usual

And for some reason you feel your chest drop just the slightest bit bc you thought he would at least fight for you a little bit and say something like

“heY HEY Y/N IS MY GO-TO FOR THESE THINGS”

But he doesn’t at all,,, and his lips looked a little strained when he smiled

and jeonghan is looking all slyly at seok bc he knows just a minute ago he could feel the back of his head being burned off by Seokmin’s glare

The convo picks up from where it previously left off and things are back to normal but the atmosphere is a little heavy

The day of the wedding comes and you’re about to finish dressing up

You’re waiting for half of them to pick you and meeting the other half at the venue

And ofc, in this half includes seok and jeonghan yikes

You hear your doorbell ring, and you’re like oh they’re here!! You say bye to your parents and put on your coat and shoes

When you open the door, you find yourself in front of Jeonghan and he’s like holy crAP

He’s awestruck and is looking at you like :OOOOO

“Jeonghan! Uhhh,,,, do I look weird???”

And he snaps out of it and is violently shaking his head like nO NO N O ofc not you look amazing

And you’re like heck yea I do I spent time looking this good :)))) (you don’t actually say this but it’s a thought)

and you get a funny feeling in your stomach and you realize you’re anticipating what Seokmin would think

If you got a good response from your “date,” surely your best friend would say smth good too??? Right??? That’s how this works???

Little did you know Seokmin (and everyone else) witnessed what happened and they’re like oMG Y/N LOOKS GOOD

Seokmin couldn't help but feel it should be him in Jeonghan’s shoes but he couldn’t refute the fact that you did indeed look like a million bucks

As you get in the car you lock eyes with him and you’re like hey Seokmin!!!

But you’re instantly b l o w n away by how CRISP HE LOOKS

His brown hair that’s usually sitting down and hides his forehead is now slicked back but in a way that still stands up and exposes more of his forehead and outlines his masculine face shape

His sharp suit perfectly fits on his toned body and you’re fully convinced you’re looking at an angel

YALL KNOW WHAT LOOK IM TALKING ABOUT. YOU KNOW.

You have to actually hold back a squeak bc you’re shook af

And he’s dying bc of how cute you are and wow are his palms sweaty???

You end up sitting in the middle of him and jeonghan and you’re just sitting happily and waiting to see what kinda food is at the wedding lmAO

but the real meal here is you eh??? Eh??? ;))))

Seokmin seems a little nervous and tense sitting next to you looking that good like he’s actually a little intimidated

You’re waiting for him to speak up and he’s clearing his throat and stammering a little bit

“Y-you look really nice, Y/N”

And you’re like ahahahhahhdgdhhhcjdbdhhd

“Thanks, seok, you clean up really nicely too”

And both of you can’t look each other in the eyes bc you’re gonna actually combust if you do

And everyone in the car is looking at each other like hehehhehehehh it’s workinggggg

When y’all finally arrive at the venue, you get out of the van with the help of Jeonghan’s hand

Seokmin: conceal don’t feel :))) channel your inner Elsa man :))))

And jeonghan is glancing back at Seokmin every so often to test him

And Seokmin is starting to catch on like ,,,, why is hannie always looking at me

He tests him even more when he casually holds your shoulder and drapes his arm around you

And Seokmin is like !!! ELSA WHERE ARE U

Jeonghan is being a little too touchy in seok’s eyes and Seok is silently fuming over the drinks

Soonyoung is like dude I can feel your dark energy all over my soup what’s up with you???

Seok is about to explode at this point and anything can set him off

“isn’t Jeonghan being just a little too touchy-feely with Y/N? That looks like borderline harassment. They’re not even dating!”

And soonyoung is silently laughing bc he’s like oh you fool lmao

“You sound a little too overprotective over your best friend. Well — if that’s really the reason why you are”

“Of course I’m just worried — dID YOU SEE THAT ARE THEY FEEDING EACH OTHER”

Soonyoung: u need help bro

“Steal a dance with her later” soonyoung says and seok is like uh what Im not gonna make a fool out of myself

All soonyoung does is shrug and winks and he goes back to eating

Soon enough the dancing portion begins and jeonghan takes you out to the dance floor

And it’s nice bc you’re just having pure fun and dancing goofy moves, not to mention Jeonghan is great company

But you’re a little disappointed you and seok weren’t able to talk and have fun the way y’all usually do

Jeonghan has sensed this the whole day and he says “I’ll be out of your hair soon enough”

You’re taken aback by his statement and you’re like “what no you were really fun to be around tonight!!”

And he laughs and ruffles your hair like “no need to cover it up. I knew this would provoke him” and you both look across the room where seokmin is standing alone, sipping on his drink as he pretends he wasn’t just looking at you dancing for the past ten minutes

The upbeat song transitions to a slower song and jeonghan pats you on the shoulder

“Here’s lover boy’s cue ;)))” and he bends down to your ear and whispers

“But I could stay here longer and mess around with him a little longer”

You push him away laughing and say “let’s not torture the poor guy any more than you already have”

Both of you are laughing and SURPRISE SEOKMIN APPEARS

and he claps his hand on hannie’s shoulder and says “May I?”

And jeonghan nods and looks between the both of you and is all ;)) have fun kiddos and winks at you right before he leaves

And now there were only 2

You didn’t realize you would be so nervous until your heartbeat nearly spiked up when he came into contact with you

DHHDHDJDJ SORRY IM FREAKING OUT WRITING THIS WOWIEURJ SCREAMS

It’s good I’m good we’re good this is good

His cheeks are tinted pink as he attempts but fails to make eye contact with you once again

He gently takes your hands and places them around his neck and then places his own around your waist

It’s only at this moment that you’re able to make proper eye contact for possibly the first time that entire day

You’re slowly moving to match the slow tempo and you can feel your face getting hotter in the heat of the moment

It stays intimate and silent for a few moments before the both of you try to break the silence

“Umm,,” “So,,,”

Androgen you laugh at how awkward you’re both getting

“This is probably the first time we’re not screaming for the whole area to hear”

He chuckles and nods slowly

“I think my breath is just taken away” he says so softly that the music could have drowned his voice out if it weren’t for the close proximity of you and him

and you’re like ??? By what??? Are you feeling ok??

“By you”

And you’re like bLUUUSSSSHHHing big time

“A-ah, stop it, I only tried to look a little more presentable today,,,,”

Jeonghan somewhere in the distance: that’s not what you told me this morning!!

“You always look beautiful no matter what”

And now you’re at a complete loss of words bc well how do you respond to your best friend who’s shooting compliments one after the other so easily????

You’re desperately trying not to melt into a puddle in his arms but it’s a little hard

“You’re charming as always, Lee” and he’s like ;)) ofc ofc

“You’re a good-looking fellow yourself, not just me. Have you seen the girls who were drooling over you today??”

He blankly blinks at you and shakes his head

“Well, I didn’t notice actually. All of my eyes were on you tonight,,,,,”

FUCUEHEYDH IM SCREWMJRN IM SC REA MIN F

You’re a full fledged tomato by now and you’re trying to bury your face in his chest so that you could save face from this horrid embarrassment

“Okay, tone it down, Seok,,,, I cant handle all of this complimenting for a night”

He laughs and pulls you closer to his chest, his grip on your waist a little more secure

“I don’t know where this is all coming from either, but now that it is, I might as well say it all”

“What was that drink earlier???”

“I swear I’m 100% sober rn ask soonyoung!! Anyways, I didn’t think much of anything when I first met you honestly, but looking back at it, I think there was already some bit of attraction since then”

“You liked me when I was eating chips and salsa??? Really???” You look up at him incredulously

“It may not be the most flattering moment, but it was cute how you were hunched over your bowl LOL”

You: lemme just DIE

“If Jeonghan weren’t your date today, I’m not sure if I would have ever realized this. Maybe at some point, but at a much later time. I think it would have consumed me anyways”

He notices you’ve gone quiet and he’s like oh lord what if I messed up omgofkfkkf

“So,,,, yeah,,, i get it if you don’t feel the same way,,, I don’t wanna make things weird if you’re uncomfortable knowing this,,, but it was made crystal clear tonight that I really like you more than a best friend. I think I always have”

And you’re breaking out into giggles bc you realize how dumb you’ve both been

And he’s like !!!???!!!! why are you laughing omg I’ve done it you think I’ve gone mad

“tbh Seokmin I was disappointed that you weren’t my date since you usually would fight the members if they asked me”

“I kinda thought maybe I’ve been forcing you to do it too much with me?? and the other guys and you can do whatever you want”

“Seokmin, we’re best friends i would have picked you in a heartbeat”

And he’s like skdjjdjh is it suddenly hot in here it’s just you ;)))

“But as for the feelings…… it is weird”

He’s like oh :((,,, yeah I knew it would be kinda weird—

“—that we’ve liked each other all this time and it took us this long to realize it through some dumb wedding date thing”

And his face immediately lights up and you’re about to clutch your heart by how pure he is :’))))

He almost blinds you with his smile and he pulls you in so that your slow dancing position turns into a hug and he’s giggling into your hair and is spinning you around

*INHALES DEEPLY* MY GOD SOMEONE PROTECT THIS PURE BUN IM GONNA CRY I LOVE HIM SM

You can't help but giggle with him since his laugh is so infectious and you’re both a bubbly giggling mess my lord I think I just got diabetes

Poor baby was deathly scared you were gonna reject him but he’s so relieved you didn’t!!! :’))))!!!!!!

He slowly pulls apart from the hug and you’re both looking at each other hesitantly, bashfully

and In The Moment all you’re thinking about is how warm and how right it feels to be in his arms

You’re both still in your hugging position, his arms wrapped around your upper back/shoulders and your arms around his torso

You’re a little out of breath because of all the laughing and spinning, and both his and your eyes flicker to the other’s lips

You’re not sure who leaned in first but the next thing you know, your faces are only centimeters apart, his hand on your cheek

And then you feel something warm and soft on your lips

Holy hELL, am I really kissing Seokmin???!!! You’re silently freaking out and it’s just like

Your brain: ⁉️⁉️‼️‼️⚠️⚠️⚠️

You can feel his smile against your lips as he lightly tugs you closer to him and engulfs you in his embrace

But your mind gets fuzzier with every passing second so you let yourself enjoy the moment

Until you hear distant cheering in the back

“yyyYYYEESSS WE DID IT BOYS FREAKING FI NA L L Y”

You and Seokmin pull away and look back like wtf is happening

Sure enough, the other 12 guys are whooping and cheering and you would have thought it was your own wedding

,,,,refer to husband!seokmin

Seokmin’s just like “wait y’all planned this???”

Jeonghan: ya it was so fun teasing you this past week lmao you’re welcome tho :))))

Seokmin: I’m gonna eat your share of ice cream for the next month :))))

And everyone’s just like “y’all literally took years to realize this you should thank us uhhh”

Seokmin’s about to open his mouth to spout out some more objections but you tiptoe to peck him on the lips to make him shut up

“eeeEW UGHH nvm I already regret doing this”

“Seungcheol I will eat your share of ice cream too”

On the ride back home, you’re both comfortably leaning on each other, your head on his chest and his on top of yours

You’re so worn out that you sleep the whole way back home

Bonus: the guys in the car are giggling softly and take secret pics

Extra bonus: they taunt you both and use it as blackmail but in reality they’re jealous and want you to use it as your phone wallpaper

Extra extra bonus: he gives you a goodnight kiss at the front of your door and the guys scream in disgust and hurry him to return home :’)))))

ICONIC COUPLE OF THE FREAKIFN CENTURY OH NY GODHD!!!!! I LOV!!!!! MY PURE CINNAMON ROLLS!!!!!

[always-bleh]

Rant

Gonna rant a bit where the people in my life can’t see what I write. So me and my friend had always had a wierd awkward on and off relationship. We try and we’re seeing each other and I want to be serious where everyone knows and she doesn’t. It goes on and I’m in love with it I’ve loved this woman for years so this is something I always want. Well she’s always talking to another guy at the same time while doing things with me. She never does the number one thing I want when this happens. Talk to me. No I always have to find things out in the worst possible ways catching the act. I told her this always happens can we try actually talking to me instead of lying? She says no. So the last time this happened I tried to honestly get along and be okay and be her best friend still. Well the guy at the time decided no... I don’t like him(me). We still tried to be our best friend selves. That didn’t go well. I was blown off constantly before she had started seeing this guy me and her had talked about moving out together and dating of course. Well I didn’t work out but she took our plan threw away what we had talked about having a family and future. Turned around didn’t bother to tell me she was moving in with him instead and gave him everything I had ever wanted. I still tried to be friends but at some point enough is enough. The guy clearly didn’t want me around it was hurting her and hurting me too. So I asked for me and her to meet privately. That didn’t happen no no of course not. We had to rub salt in the wounds and she brought him. I said screw it I brought my best friend Bro with me. For one purpose to help keep my temper in check and not to start swinging. He said he didn’t like me how I talk with her and how I was trying to be with her from messages he had read. These messages were months upon months old. He said she had talked to me and she looks and says yeah I told you. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She told me NOTHING! She left me to figure it all out on my own in the worst ways imaginable. My Bro knew all this and just looked at me I was able to keep it calm and cool thankfully. I told her okay you said your part. I had given her a necklace I wanted back. Native American enchanted with blessings necklace and the debt she owed me for helping her out when her husband left her with an apartment she cant afford and car payments. I see no problem with me wanting those back and the deal was made and we split. I’d contact only concerning the debt and I got the necklace back the next day. Well... Mr. right in everyway she could see... left her... We hadn’t spoken in almost a year. She reached out to me 3am at night. He hadn’t left her quite yet but the process was beginning. So my best friend who I did very much still love and was still my best friend came to me. Crying at 3am about the guy she left me for and wanting someone to listen to her. As a best friend of course I would be there... but at the same time it is a cruel punishment I gave her advice and eventually started laughing. She dropped me off back home and left smiling and feeling better. Me... I had finally started being happy and it all came crashing back down all the pain everything. I broke into so many pieces again. I left wanting my friend to be nothing but happy and for my own good so I could be happy. Me and my bro were going to move out into an apartment. I was broken I just wanted the money she owed me and started contacting her more frequently. I wanted nothing more to connect us together no reasons to contact. I just needed that debt paid and gone so I could move on. We got in a fight of course money always leads to fights. Me and my bro moved out we were in our apartment. I wanted to put our fight on pause and asked her to come out and see the apartment. She wouldn’t even come to the door to come out with me. My best friend who could come crying at anytime to me wouldn’t do the same and come out for me to talk and just have fun as friends. Month or so went by I hated it. I made a letter and dropped it off at her parents. Funny part her mom let me in and we started talking she knew we were rocky and she knew it was breaking me. As I’m getting ready to leave she says she should be home soon... I thought she was living with her boyfriend Mr. Right still. And she walked through the door and saw me. We went outside and talked calmly. I gave her the letter and my bye pretty much I didn’t care about our debt anymore. I wanted to be happy which I was... I had moved out with my bro and his fiance. This was my first place and I was getting my life together talking to other women again just... happy. She started texting me again. I swore I would always be there for her anytime. I still hold true to that but I wasn’t going to fall back and start wanting her agai and if she wanted to be back in my life she was going to be the one making that effort not me. She did and we were back to best friends while her and the boyfriend worked through things. He didn’t know I was back in her life... least i don’t think he did. I remember she was going through something and said hope she was having a good day. I get a text back saying. “Thanks I will let her know.” I just let it slide. I saw it as bait into a fight and I left it. But I know for damn sure he read everything about how me and her wre talking. Not flirting but seeing how much we missed each other. Looking back that probably played a huge part in the break up. Life went on no problem popped up surprisingly. She hit me up one day wanted something big to do. I remember her wanting to go somewhere in Nevada I suggested that. And we went early morning. Went around did our thing had a blast. Even gave her the blessed necklace back since we went on a ghost tour. We’re very spiritual and believe in that kind of stuff and the necklace serves as a form of protection. On the way back home... she tells me it’s her one year anniversary with her boyfriend... She was excited to do something with him but I guess he told her he was sick and she gave up on doing something with him. She told me I wasn’t a second choice or anything like that she just wanted her best friend and something to do to forget. We had been drinking before we came home and sobered up. Something about the ghost tour left her feeling something horrible. I had native american stuff at home to bless and protect us. I offered her to stay the night. Which she did and we shared a bed. Of course my feelings had come back from the hiatus. And I asked... do you want to have sex? She said yeah we could have sex. So many thoughts in my mind running... A dream scenario guy who was left can have sex with the woman he loves and hurt the guy she had left him for. Hell could even hurt the woman who had left him too. I turned it down. There is always a right and wrong way to get what you want. I actually do feel bad about this still and asking her that. But she didn’t have to say yes... she could have left... like I believe a loyal girlfriend who’s in love would... Shortly after this those two broke up. She hated living at home and I had offered my apartment. She was already constantly coming and staying the night for days and sometimes a whole week at a time. She moved in and we shared my room... of course something started! We were happy and the cycle began again. I got unhappy she was talking to a guy told me just a friend. I warned her something would happen. My bro and his fiance got married and moved me and her moved back with my mom. Seperate rooms and we had stopped our thing. Which brings us to the now. That guy I warned her she would start something with... that warning was eight months ago. She had thought long and hard about moving in with me and my mom. Before she moved in she asked if she could have guys who she was doing things with over I told her no I wouldn’t be okay. At that time eight months ago she agreed to the deal not to. Apparently that deal meant nothing. In fact she asked me again. I’ve met the new guy don’t care about him and naturally hate him. One because I knew this was coming. Two I had warned her about this guy months ago and was essencially called paranoid and crazy I don’t feel so fucking crazy considering guess what he’s a thing now with her. Three she went behind my back and asked my mom instead and it was a secret apparently he was already coming over while I’m gone without my knowledge. Which leads us to the now... I am not fucking happy... every single deal ever made broken... time and time and time again all for the fucking same gawd damn mother fucking reason! Because of a guy. The difference now I get the home edition of misery. She tells me I’ll just tell you when he comes and you don’t have to be here. My own fucking home has become my fucking hell hole I don’t even want to live here anymore. I can’t even come home now at times because he’s over. I can’t come to my own fucking home. This is going to be fun I’m at odds with literally my mom for keeping the secret and her. I told her to go take the guy to go be cleansed. Native American thing the necklace I gave her yes it is good juju whatever you want to call it. But if the giver is disrespected in anyway like that it turns for the very worse and causes harm instead. I can’t talk to our best friends because guess what they’re her friends too. Can’t talk to my family she’s around them. Can’t talk to her she doesn’t want to hear anything from me. So I rant here. Where no one I know can hear me but I can still have the satisfaction that I have spoken and everything is off my chest. Well she’s leaving tonight after this fight that just happened today to go on a vacation back to Nevada. Going to be gone five days... lets see what happens. I’ll add this for anyone reading this vacation was planned long before this fight today so it’s not like she left for vacation because of our fight. Thank you for existing tumblr so that I can fucking rant in peace without anyone getting butt hurt. Not her, my family, her family or our friends! 

[backseatofimpala-blog]

The Grimmest of Hunters

Why Cant We Be Friends

Warnings: canon level violence, Dean has a potty mouth, awkward partial nude scene.

     The full moon was high in the sky and illuminated the woods brilliantly. The national state park looked beautiful in the pale light, crickets chirped, frogs sang. A scream cut the serenity of the forest, followed by bloodthirsty howls.

     The young woman panic mingled her sobs and screams together. The fear of what was directly behind her driving her forward. She fell over something in her path and fell at someone's feet. She looked up at a young woman wearing jean shorts, tank top and a flannel around her waist. The most fighting part was the two axes in her hands. The woman screamed up at the ominous figure.

          "I think your oxygen would be best used to continue running rather than screaming like a fool." the figure stated. The terrified young woman stared. "Well run along then." The things chasing the woman arrived and howled. "Whooo, giving me chills." she mocked.

          "Grimm." They snarled.

          "Any chance any of you want to surrender?" she questioned.

          "I suppose we'll taste the flesh of a Grimm tonight boys!" the leader of the pack shouted.

          "Alright, bitches!... Let's get down to business." the wolf-like people attacked. The young woman easily dodged, parried, and attacked. “really? is this the best you mongrels have got?” she panted with a chuckled looking around at her fallen assailants. “So disappointing.” she sighed to herself whipping her axes off on the clothing of one of the dead werewolves. her phone sang out ‘Hooked on a Feeling’. “Hi Dean.” she panted.

          “Hey Cali!” he greeted, “You sound out of breath... did i catch you in a compromising situation?” Dean questioned suggestively.

          “if you were a cop maybe.” she laughed, “I just finished a hunt.” she explained.

          “Oh, did i miss anything good?” Dean asked. Cali gave a ‘meh’ to convey her dissatisfaction with the case. “So... Cassie called.”

          “Tell that bitch to shove it, Dean!” Cali snarled. Dean chuckled nervously on the other line. “She dumped you and doesn’t deserve you, and defiantly doesn’t deserve a booty call either.”

          “She called about a case.” Dean explained. Cali remained silent, “Would you mind meeting up in Missouri?” he asked sheepishly.

         “Of course not Dean... I’ll get there as soon as I can, a friend called for back up, i should be there day after tomorrow.” Cali explained starting her car.

         “Fuck, Your car sounds like shit.” Dean exclaimed. Cali laughed loudly and sarcastically, “Kay, bye.” Dean laughed hanging up.

     As a Grim, Cali didn’t need very much sleep. She could go a couple days without sleep, and then crashed hard the third day. She had just had plenty of sleep, so she wrapped up a few meaning-ill scratches and left to help her friend to get to Missouri faster.

     Dawn crept over the horizon as Cali found the meeting place for her hunter friend. She approached buckling her belt on, her friends shoulders were tense and his head was down, blood stained his face and clothes.

         “Tom? What happened?” she questioned with worry.

         “I’m sorry...” he shook. Cali heard something running up behind her. She dropped down as she heard a blade slice through the air. the moment her hands hit the gravel she pivoted herself to take her attackers feet out. A scythe landed next to her, and the man was a creature she hadn’t seen before. She grabbed it’s face and drove her elbow into the joint of its jaw, a sickening crack could be heard. Cali then lunged for the scythe and stood holding the blade to her attacker as he turned into his human form.

          “My brothers shall avenge me,” he stated through gritted teeth, his heavy European accent still evident. Cali harrumphed and sliced his head off with the scythe. she looked at Tom who stared at her in shock. Running feet sounded all around them.

"How many more are there!" she exclaimed, and Tom shook, and then his head rolled away from his body. Cali landed on her hands and connected a mule kicked to the attacker behind her. A total of five men surrounded her all of them the same creature as the first. She turned and ran back to her car making it just in time to drive away before the men got to her. "What on earth!" Cali panted shakily. She could now feel warm blood oozing down her side, apparently, they had got her after all. She sighed and looked for the closest motel room to stitch herself up.

She showered in cold water to clean the wound of debries and once she was out she drenched the wound in rubbing alcohol. She bit her shirt to keep from screaming and slapped her palms on the sink to divert the pain someplace else.

"That looks gastly!" a crisp European accent sounded. Cali clutched her shirt to her bare chest, iternally thanking God she had put underwear on and begging for help.

"Who are you!" she demanded looking around the room for the closest weapon. Her gun lay on the sink next to her, but that would require letting go of her shirt.

"My name is prince Eric, I represent one of the seven royal families." he stsrted.

"How 'bout you leave

"Prince or not I'll shoot you in your face if you don't leave right now!" Cali snapped.

"No need for hostility ms. Wright." Eric chuckled standing.

"How do you know my name?" she asked.

"How about I get my medic in here to look after your injury, while we talk buissness." Eric smirked.

"How 'bout no." Cali snapped as the supposed medic walked in, his face changed into a dog-like creature, "I've been really nice up until now! Get out before I start rolling heads!" she proclaimed, she could feel the blood starting to ooze down her side again.

"Calm down, and let the man sew you up!" Eric demanded. Cali glanced at the creature beside her and it snarled. Cali held her shirt tightly to her bare form, her senses were on high alert and every nerve felt like it was on fire as Eric's eyes raked over her body. "So beautiful." he hummed caressing her cheek, Cali pulled away from his hand, "too bad the reapers had to go and scare you," he replied turning away.

"Reaper?" Cali's voice shook from the pain of needle and thread being pulled through her flesh.

"Grimm Reapers... A specific type of Wessen that is dedicated to killing Grimm," he explained. " its a good thing you're working for me now, I can keep them away from you..."

"Absolutly." Cali smiled weakly.

"See to that she's put on the jet and taken immediately to Austria," Eric ordered the medic. "I'm off to see my brother." eric stated walking ouy.

"Lets go, Grimm," the medic growled. Cali nodded and stood shakily.

"Let me get dressed real quick," she muttered stumbling over to her bag. She slipped on a built-in bra undershirt and a pair of shorts, finding her throwing knives. In one fluid moment, she turned and threw the knife into the 'wessen's' windpipe. It gurgled as it pulled at the knife and died.

"Ow." Cali whined pulling on a flannel and belted her machete onto her hips and went outside to be greeted with several more Wessen.

"Look, guys, I don't want to fight." Cali sighed tightly gripping her machete. They charged her. The only way Cali could justify the beating she took was that she was already injured.

Sam and Jess stood back as Dean and Cassie undressed each other visuall, again. Jess giggled lightly, then the coulple leaned together.

"Why don't they just get it in and get it over with already!" Jess whispered to Sam, who chuckled and shrugged.

"Sorry I'm late... I looked into your case its deffinatly a ghost of some kind... And I don't think I'll be much help." Cali's voice sounded. Everyones heads turned to her and they gaped, Dean however rushed to her.

"Cali? What the hell happened!" Dean held her shoulder to steady, and study, her. She smiled tieredly.

"Reapers, and princes, and dog-people... Oh my." she chuckled dryly starting to nod off. Dean sighed as she fell asleep. He lifted her easily and turned to Cassie.

"Ive got to take care of her." Dean explained. Cassie frowned. “I’ll come by later tonight.” Dean explained.

"Do you even realize you’re in love with her...” Cassie asked. Dean looked at her in shock then to Sam and Jess.

         “Since when!” Dean exclaimed.

          “Ever since I've known you... that one of he reasons i broke up with you.” Cassie shook her head and walked away.

          “She’s my best friend damn it!” Dean snapped then looked at his brother and Jess. “Go with Cassie, i’ll come pick you guys up once i get her settled.” Dean sighed, holding the small young woman closer as he took her to the Impala. Why Can’t they just be friends?

@strangeangel99 @strangeangel99