#i cant fucking wait to move out
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every second i spend in this house is a second spent on fantasizing about homicide
#mine.txt#i cant fucking wait to move out#from the outside my parents are good parents#and if you only spent a small amount of time around them youd still think theyre good parents#but if you spent as long a time around them as i have then youd know theyre control freaks who view children as property#even when theyre fully grown adults#i hate them#honestly if my country werent horrible and part time jobs were actually something that i could feasibly get without travelling a whole hour#i wouldve applied for one ages ago
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a surprise reboot of the show!
que the puppets fleeing while a heavy working crew fuckin snatches everyone up in nets to clean the place us
"should we muzzle sally?"
"she fuckin bit me!"
"doesnt answer the question"
"wally stole my wallet!"
"hes legally allowed to, travis."
yk what i'd really wanna see is how they wrangle the massive dog & the equally tall four-armed caterpillar. Wally would get netted and Barnaby would appear behind the person, about to ruin their entire career
#'hes legally allowed to travis' PLEASSSSEEEEEE#this ask is going to entertain me for a While#just picturing the puppets scurrying around and under things while all the big ol humans struggle to catch them#rambles from the bog#and then of course their intense fear when they Are caught <3#forcefully separated from each other and Home <3#who knows maybe barnaby and howdy have to be knocked out somehow#thats gotta suck!!!#for the puppets for obvious reasons but imagine having to be one of the employees Doing this and Listening to their distress & confusion#WAIT LMFAO wally would just eat the nets#blink blink blink there's a puppet-sized hole to escape through#ohhhh sad thought!#when barnaby is taken down wally breaks free and crawls into That net#but since he's too small to move barnaby himself he just stays in that net voluntarily#absolutely Devouring this concept....#the chaos and confusion the Fear the loss of control#wait. fuck was this a lights out ask? was it...? i dont know! i cant tell! either way i love it#though if it Is... and there Was a reboot... theyd probably just remake the puppets for a new studio#all the ogs are too 'outdated' and damaged to be used for a show. their colors are faded they're just... too old#inch resting concept indeed....
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*smacks touchstarved fandom with a stick*
LEANDER DIDNT REACH FOR YOUR THROAT TO BE AN ASSHOLE! HIS WHOLE GOAL IN THE BEGINNING IS TO. GAIN. YOUR. TRUST.
WHAT PART OF REACHING FOR YOUR THROAT GAINS YOUR TRUST???
IT MAKES YOU DOUBT HIS POWER, HENCE WHY HE PLAYED IT OFF BY SAYING "LMAO JK JK" YOU FOOLS FELL FOR IT AND ATE IT UP BELIEVING HE WAS JUST BEIN A LIL JESTER. A LITTLE BITCH. A LITTLE ASSHOLE.
THATS WHAT HE WANTED YOU TO THINK BC FOR A MOMENT THE CURSE DID AFFECT HIM A BIT.
"BUT EGGY, HE DOESNT DO IT IF YOU WILLINGLY TOUCH HIM?!!?! HE WAS JUST SO OFFENDED YOU DIDNT TRUST HIM!!" DO YOU KNOW HOW CURSES CAN WORK? CATCH MC OFF GUARD AND THEIR CURSE FLARES UP TO BE STRONGER. THE CURSE'S STRENGTH PROBABLY DEPENDS ON HOW FREAKED OUT MC IS.
MC IS CALMER AND TRUSTING AND EXPECTANT WHEN THEY WILLINGLY TOUCH LEANDER. SO THE CURSE DOESNT FLARE UP.
THE CALMER MC IS THE LESS THE CURSE FLARES UP AND THE EASIER IT IS TO COUNTER WITH LEANDERS OWN MAGIC.
LEANDER GAINING YOUR TRUST COMES BEFORE ANY SORT OF RETALIATION. HE MAY BE A MAN CHILD OF A DOG, BUT HE IS DEDICATED. HE WILL CALMLY CHASE YOU UNTIL YOU'RE TOO TIRED TO KEEP RUNNING. YOU THINK HE GOT ALL THAT POWER BY BEING AN ASS TO PEOPLE WHO DONT IMMEDIATELY TRUST HIM?! HE WILL PLAY THE LONG GAME IF HE HAS TO. HE GIVES YOU THE WHOLE FACADE OF "you can come and go as you please, but i can be home for you :)"
HE HAS DUPED YOU ALL AND I WILL GIGGLE AT ALL OF YOU WHEN THE FULL GAME COMES OUT.
#smh smh#you all are ALREADY falling into his trap#he wants you to think that was just an asshole move for not trusting him#thats how he works. he covers any imperfections up and presents himself as a charming powerful man#and you guys have already fallen for it#i cant wait for the full game to come out and see everyone get repeated tricked by him bc i knew immediately when reading that scene#bro was sweating under all that leather#why ELSE WOULD HE PLAY IT OFF LIKE THAT#HE WANTS YOUR TRUST#his choices in that moment were 'admit that the curse almost fucked him up' OR 'play it off like you were just being silly goofy'#SO HE CHOSE PLAY IT OFF SILLY GOOFY#leander#touchstarved leander#touchstarved game#leander touchstarved#leander ts#leander theory
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no matter what taemin is taemin and don’t you FORGET IT
#I LOVED IT SOOOOOO MUCHHHH i cant even explain it#never mind that the grungy start and the filthy fawking guitar combined w INCOMINGGGGGGG pavlov conditions me into my eyes rolling back in#pleasure. it’s also the way it’s so gorgeously experimental and new and yet still SO taemin#it’s literally my FAVORITE thing about him like no one else is doing this and it’s soooo so exciting to me#also i’ve only had a little bit of time to myself so i planned to listen to like 3 songs and ended up listening to sexy in the air thrice#(i just can’t get ENOUGH we are SO fucking BACK) but how much do you wanna bet the rest of the album is mostly easily digestible#easy to listen songs that will automatically be crowd pleasers#like at the end of sexy in the air mv it’s like horizon starts and i was thinking like this is SO smart#do sita (undeniably taeministic and absolutely excellent and will no doubt be revered in a few years just like move/want and any other#song that wasn’t universally liked at release) and follow it up with a double title of a massively likeable song? SO good i hope that’s#what he does but i reaaaaaally really am so delighted i have another weird dark sexy grungy (!!!!!) absolute MONSTER of a song to listen#the SHIT out of auhhhh i love him BAD#i have SO many more thoughts on the DANCEEEEEEE too and the song itself but they’ll wait until im back home
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one dream in life: not living with my parents
#god i cant fucking wait to be independent from them#they aren't horrible but i just want my own place where i can be a silly goober#honestly once i move out i have no other dreams or aspirations my only goal is just to get away from my family because they're boring
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I've seen people be like downpour ruined how people see five pebbles and im gonna be honest if you were here for any number of years pre-downpour the fandom was always god-awful with the nuance in his character. thats not a downpour thing thats a fandom thing
#niche comparison but if any of you know angela from lobotomy corporation/library of ruina#in the years prior to LOR angela was probably one of the most demonized characters ive ever seen in my goddamn LIFE#NO ONE was going to bat for this girl as anything other than a absolute villain and bitch#i was and im sure some others were too but the vast vast majority fucking hated her#because she spends most of the game being mean to you and then betrays you at the end#and you had to read between the lines to get to “wait a minute whats happening to her is kinda immensely fucked up”#and this is someone betraying you at the end of a very /very/ hard game to 100% and beat proper#then LOR came out and fully explored the depths of her trauma and anger at the situation she was put into#how desperate she was too take something for herself and how little she cared about how the effected others because she was not given that#and suddenly it clicked for everyone!#suddenly she wasnt a heartless bitch anymore! but of course now you had the#'literal infant' crowd because it also explored some ideas of parental trauma/lack of experience with the world#but god it was way more refreshing to see people actually move on from 'theyre an evil bitch' even if it came with 'so shes like a kid?'#and i feel that way about pebbles tbh#i dont get super super into the iterator lore so i cant speak much for the quality across downpour#and its higher focus on them and their stuff#im sure it carries plenty of issues as many things will#but god people sucking at reading the room on the iterators is not new lmao#actually five pebbles and angela are shockingly similar....#huh?
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I cannot rely on one person for me to be happy my happiness isn't allowed to be only triggered by one person I can be happy at every little thing it doesn't matter about this one person
#im in too far fucking deep again#and when he leaves again its gonna hurt just as much. but more.#finch posts#he makes me happy beyond belief and i goddamn love having a friend who knows me inside out and has done for so long#but. your love is my drug by kesha comes to mind. its fucking intoxicating talking to him#and last time he left (we were 12 and his parents moved their family) it made me kinda depressed and i was so fucking needy to talk to him#and now we're three and a half months into rekindling the friendship and i feel the same like i get really sad already >#>if i just dont talk to him for a couple of days without like a trip or friends or smthn else to entertain me#songs are starting to remind me of him#fuck fuck fuck#1am in the morning makes me too honrst#i think im still a bit (a lot) in love with them#ohmygod i dont even think it i know it#i should go to sleep earlier#it would stop me having so many thoughts#i havent seen him in multiple years but i can still imagine kissing him#oh fucking hell fuck my actual whole fucking life#and his closest friend where he lives now well they were starting to be a bit of a thing and surely its not fucking normal>#>to daydream about kissing a girl who ive literally never seen a photo of#holy fucking hell i am such a hopeless poly bisexual#WHY DONT WE REWRITE THE STARSSSS#oh this is circling round to my suspicions i might be kinda like demi romantic??#i should buy myself flowers . wait. no. i grow flowers 🫠#well i could still buy myself flowers . and i should#i need to go to the beach#cant wait to get a proper drivers license#if youve made it this far down my crisis hi youve gotten to the stage where u can tell what songs im listening to!
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#it is fuckinggg killing me that my roommate hasnt moved out by the end of may like she said she would.#she literally made a huge unnecessary issue of it only to. not do it#like what was the fucking point of stressing me out about “breaking the lease” -which she didnt! she later said she would pay it out instea#setting up a meeting with the landlord to state that this was her plan! for real! that she would be moved out by may! and not fucking going#how much longer do i have to endure her bullshit. like jfc way to get my hopes up and destroy them. as per fucking usual#is it so much to fucking ask for her to do the things she says shes going to do. or for me to live my stupid little life w/o her complainin#i cant fucking TAKE IT#AUGHG#she just filled her massive 80% section of the fridge with food so i can assume shes not leaving for a. while.#i cant wait for my lease to be up. so i can be free. i never want to see her again lol
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#i cant fucking take it anymore#every week its the same thing#i apply to like 18 jobs and wait. i write 18 different cover letters and wait#and its been like this for two fucking years#and i cant fucking stand it i hate this#i have no purpose no prospects no joy#i feel fucking useless!!!!!#and i never have energy and i feel like im trapped and i want nothing more than to escape#but im not sure i could survive anything other than this wasting away#i told myself id move out in 2023. then this year#i even said if i havent moved out by my 25th birthday id kill myself#bc ive basically failed. game over. thats it.#and the closer that gets the less it looks like i’ll have moved out#i just feel so hopeless#shut up chili
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i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.
#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY????????????#can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before#is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people#i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this#was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something#“best way to learn is to observe the men around you” OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT????#bruh i can barely make eye contact w people...#my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever.#i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries#“men dont smile at people.” well they should.#ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet#“dont move with your hands” YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART#i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself#i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit.#at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are#my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing#im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that#shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them#i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like#in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves.#its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like.#regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like???#you can do what you want???? why do we care????#and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism#i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people.#i cant wrap my head around it at all#not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing#(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way)#unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason
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#chattin#nothing bad or spicy i just feel like peep peeping rn#📢🐀!#but there is talk of panic attacks and Bad Stims up ahead (not related to me dw) ->#i was thinking of autistic peppino bc i am planning out the vigilante comic in my head#and like the quick premise is that vigilante comes into the pizzeria and shoots a blank into the ceiling to get everyone to shut up#and quiet down so he can go ask for (demand really) to see peppino bc this fuckerhas a bounty FOR A REASON and hes here to find out why#bc u know; cowboy yeehaw shenanigans#only its like 5am and no one is there jdkdndjdndk he just saw the lights one and went BANGBANG#anyway peppino is in the back cowering bc someone came into his fucking shop and started shooting UNPROMPTED#and hes so fucking scared and unwilling to move and when he sees someone actually come through the back door he starts having a legitimate-#-panic attack and he starts doing the stimmy hands thing over his ducked head#and vigilante is like whoa whoa WHOA WHOA HOL UP WHATS HAPPENIN#like i dont think peppino has ‘happy stims’ he has ‘extremely self soothing’ stims#that include flapping but only if hes so unbelievably stressed that he cant think#or he has more violent ones like pulling at his hair and biting his hands#that on top of like a genuine panic attack where he cant breathe and he thinks his heart is stopping is 😵💫#vigilante is like christ almighty what the fucks got you so damned spooked?? like he doesnt even think of the blank he shot#he assumed someone came in before him or something#and hes like oh shit wait thats mE I DID THAT I SCARED HIM#i am still planning it out but yes. autistic peppino is on my mind 😊#in a more positive light hes very earnest; and good at his job bc cooking in an interest of his#and his responses in social situations are bizarre enough sometimes to wrap back around to endearing#also its an excuse to draw peppino looking very confused but happy and gustavo somewhere in the shot going-#‘the bad bitch i pulled in by being autistic’#swag#ALSO THE TAG IS BACK so i guess i can doodle again heehee
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this is like the third time ive said this,,, and im ognna be honest,, but i'm starting to think yet again that we aren't so back
the fact he just sits on this character makes me want to cry (/hj). being a fan of media that the creator doesnt see the vision and just. sits on a character without doing anything with them. is so painful
its even worse than a corporate greed thing. its just some person telling a story. no budget cuts or cancelling. its just,,, lack of inspiration. And lack of positive reinforcement I guess ??? Lack of creativity ?? that sounds negative,,,
Every time he talks about it on stream I want to explode. It's tiring for him and a hassle to think about.
I genuinely feel like the only Link Winters fan at this point and I know that is SO incorrect LMFAO but goddamn dude I have yet to find someone who was a frequent Link POV watcher and actively engaged with the fanbase around him AND CONTINUES TO.
(uh if anyone feels like that describes themselves,,,,, dm me,,,,)
might be biased but i genuinely cannot understand how someone can be uninspired by his character or feel as if theres no arcs or plot points available for him. If he was uninspiring THEN I WOULDNT HAVE A BLOG DEDICATED TO HIM. im killing you with hammers there are wild animals outside your house
#i hate it here#:(#nopixel enjoyers.... :((( ily but i cant keep up with the times if my blorbo doesnt log on :'''''(((((#link winters brainworms#bou snorts#yknow what maybe i DO hope he finds this blog to see how much shit i talk about him#'but theres so many new ppl and things and nobody rememb-' MAKE NEW STORIES FUCKING DUMBASS. THATS HOW LIFE WORKS#YOU MOVE ON. YOU MEET NEW PEOPLE. YOU MAKE NEW STORIES. 'but that's hard-' SHUT THE FUCK UP#GET UP. MAKE NEW FRIENDS. DO IT. NO ONES GOING TO WAIT AROUND FOR YOU.#ITS HARD BUT ITS HOW LIFE WORKS FUCKASS.#i get being antisocial but thats the whole point of wonderful cringe ass gta roleplay. make a character. play a character. meet new people.#im so tired#as you can see this comes from experience.#i learned this shit and im still learning#THIS SHIT COMES FOR FREE WITH YOUR 'HAVING TO LIVE LIFE AND LEARN AT THE SAME TIME'#GET OUT THERE ALREADY FUCKASS.
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i am so tired of being honked at by fucking undergrads who think i should be able to make my turn when i literally cannot. girl if i go right now i will block a lane of traffic Shut The Fuck Up
#i know you’re mad you have to wait a minute at this turn but it’s rush hour and there’s nothing i can do.#learn some fucking patience or get off the road.#or dudes in their giant fuckoff trucks who get mad because i *cant see over the trucks in front of me to turn* because my car sits low!!#i thought Ohio drivers were bad but nothing compares to undergrads in louisiana#you know how many times some fuckin kid has almost pulled out into me since I moved here??#i don’t know if ive ever used my horn before moving here#jesus christ#here’s my petition to raise the driving age to 21.#this has been. a vent post#sef speaks
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Me: I should probably clean my room, unpack, find my laptop and finish the work tasks that were due yesterday
Also me: I think I'm going to hot glue flowers, vines, and ribbons to a basket instead :)
#no my room is so bad it even hurts my chronically messy soul#i moved back in with my parents in May and im terrible at unpacking#so everything is just strewn about because i just pulled shit out of boxes when i needed them and never put them anywhere productive#and i just got back from my summer camp job. i still need to digitize my inventory and write my closing report#it was supposed to be done before i left camp but i convinced them to let me do it by monday#today is tuesday#part of the reason i havent done it is because my laptop is lost in this mess#last thing im procrastinating is ren faire prep#truly its not much prep just adding vines and flowers to a basket and needing to try on my whole outfit#and practice my makeup and hair#makeup will be light bcuz i dont know how to do makeup#so im just doing some lipstick and glittery highlight#and i need to figure out what to do with my hair. i have a tiara that i might see about fastening into the braids#or i may braid ribbons into my hair. gotta test to see whoch one i like better#i am so fucking excited for ren faire bcuz im going with my gf and some of her friends#im so excited to meet her friends and spend time with her outside of the summer camp we worked at together#AND im going to do her hair and she asked me to braid ribbons into her hair so im so excited#i just need to practice some braids to figure out how i want to do her hair and practice braiding in ribbons#i fucking love doing hair and i cant wait to do hers. ive done single strand braods for her before BUT#she has long beautiful hair and ive been wanting to try more braids on her and i think i have an idea of what i want to do#but instead of doing anything productive. i am sitting in bed. doing nothing#(spoiler alert its because every time i leave camp i get treated to a terrible depressive episode)#(its because i lose the routine and sunshine and exercise and social aspect of camp probably)#(now worsened by the terrible state of my room and the passing of one of my rats while i was at camp that i just learned about)#anyway im doing fine. gonna go do something now ig
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GODS FUCKING DAMNIT WHY DID MY PARENTS DECIDE THAT A HOUSE LESS THAN 100 FEET AWAY FROM A HIGHWAY WAS A GOOD FUCKING IDEA
#I HAVE A FUCKING MIGRANE AND THE SEMITRUCKS AND MOTORCYCLES AND ASSHOLE BLARING BASE MUSIC SOUND LIKE THEYRE INCHES AWAY FROM MY EARS#IF THE NEIGHBORS START FAILING TO FIX THEIR DAMN BOAT OR BLARING MUSIC AGAIN I WILL TELL MY DAD TO GO SCREAM AT THEM#NORMALLY IM NICE BUT RIGHT NOW MY BRAIN IS TRYING TO KILL ME I DONT HAVE ENERGY FOR THIS BULLSHIT#but for now the neighbors are behaving it’s just the fucking highway I can’t move#FUCK a train better not go by tonight#we also live less than 100 feet from a major railway :)#I don’t know why my parents thought this house was the one to buy but I CANT FUCKING CHANGE THAT NOW CAN I#can’t wait to move out I swear to fuck#this is why I shouldn’t have chronic pain I become murderous when I’m hurting#silently screaming shaking with murderous intent at every little thing that bothers me#reaching for the nearest sharp object#but guess who has chronic pain from scoliosis and collapsed foot arches and neck problems that cause headaches and migraines?#THIS motherfucker right here; THATS who!#maybe I should stop ranting in the tags now and eat my chicken sandwich before the meds wear off#ooohh I should as my mom if it’s a good idea to take my loopy drugs#idk if they’re okay to mix with Tylenol or not#OH MY FUCKING GODS A TRAIN JUSF WENT BY#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL SOMEONE#PROBABLY THE REALATOR WHO SAID THAT THESE TRACKS ARENT OPERATIONAL#anyway as I was saying I dunno if hydroxdezine (probably misspelled that) is okay to mix with Tylenol#but it’s great for when I don’t want to be conscious and rn that’s how I feel#imma stop now#randum thots
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being in your 20s sucks i dont want to work through this trauma i want to wear the hatchet over my head forever now pass the damn joint
#not true ill come out of it#but like fuck i cant wait for the next decade youre supposed to enjoy your thirties right#i know it will be over eventually but it isnt now#and when youve always lived through chaos and multiple traumas you know that cycle of anger why did you specifically have to start life with#all of these hurdles and then its like well i should just not care and move on but it more than that you dont know any other way to live#i just want to live a life where im not looking for the vantage point in every room#or always aware that anyone at any time can turn on you for any reason
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