#i cant even traumatize him more to try and remember him

[creatorbiaze]

[oetscop]

i find it kinda interesting that people find the whole. thing the counselor says in petscop 22 like..good?? is that. does that make sense lmao

idk its probably just me but after really thinking about the whole "to catch her, you had to lie" thing in care NLM's description i just. dont trust it. especially since its worded very fantastically. it sounds like the sort of wording youd use to lie to a kid, and also kinda has??? the sorta. rainer word choice...? like uhhhh "its yucky outside" and telling belle hed be out of her hair "forever and ever." id brush that off as him just talking to kids like that, but hes very clearly using toneth's description as almost a diary. or just a place to vent. so idk

hes definitely aware that hes a terrible person and so is everyone else in the family. he isnt exempt from that just because hes trying to out marvin for being fucked up. hes honestly not even doing much in that regard since its clear that anna is Aware. plus he, y'know. kills himself in their fucking bathroom. he cares but he also doesnt give a fuck all at once and is very clearly trying to cause damage to marvin since any other method didnt work. he doesnt give a fuck about collateral.

and its kinda obvious that the counselor thing didnt actually happen. we are definitely reading rainers words. the same guy making this game thats contributing to the ongoing thematic objectification of care. hes not above lying.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Platonic Yandere Jason w/ Batsis darling

A/N: This is supposed to be post death and all that.. Like he's just trying to integrate back into his family and society but it's been hell. His batsis is the one thing that is actually helping him through it thus becoming over attached. He's obsessed with being normal again..for you. (Any Jason Todd)

Warnings: Rather soft yandere actually. but i guess obsession and possessive tendencies.

Requests: always open. please read pinned post which is the masterlist

Masterlist

Yandere Jason Todd who finds an immeasurable amount of comfort and stability in his Batsis. He doesn't particularly understands or even knows why he does but he does.

He still feels awkward and out of place with the rest of batfam. He feels anxious, judged and annoyed around them. It overwhelms him and stresses him to the point of mental breaks. But you ground him. You don't make sudden movements or loud sounds. You don't ask invasive questions or bring up past memories. You're gentle and mindful of him.

The others try bonding but they never fail to eventually overstep boundaries and cause more wounds. He's appreciative of you.

Yandere Jason who cannot help but get possessive over you. He hates when his other siblings command your attention over his. It boils him. I like to think he's constantly comparing himself to them. How normal and fun they are in contrast. He wants to be just like them and do fun things again...but he just cant...not yet. He especially despises Dick and just how pretty and perfect his older brother is. This often causes fights between the two. You and him have tons of inside jokes, secret handshakes and hangouts often. Jay wants that too.

Jason is fearful of going in public with you. He's been craving that local diner spot and love to treat you as a thank you but he doesn't want the stares. He's riddled with scars and looms over everything. He really don’t want his sis to be ridiculed and questioned on his behalf.

Jay tries his best to keep you locked in the house with him. He tries pulling you away from them as much as possible but he feels guilty. This is a miserable life and he doesn't want that was misery on you too, but he just cannot bear you being with them instead. Sometimes he'll offer to sneak out late at night and hang on rooftops with you, but he knows it's nothing compared to the arcades and parties you're missing out on.

He does try very hard to come out of his shell on your birthdays or times like Christmas ect.. He wants to be a good brother and give back how kind you've been towards him. Whatever will make you happy, he'll power through it.

Yandere Redhood who goes after the people that make you cry or feel unsafe. He knows what he promised Bruce but it's to keep is sibling safe. Bruce would understand if he went through even half of the traumatic experiences he did. You have to cut off potential threats at the roots. That's how you prevent lunatics like the joker and to keep souls like you pure.

Yandere Jason Todd who is adorably obsessed with your room. He hasn't done much decorating to his. It's boring and bland, he doesn't remember much of what he liked as a kid before everything happened. But yours is covered in personality. Books, figures, plushies and tons of posters...it's cute. He likes it a lot. Sometimes he just sits in there, even when you're not home because it makes him feel nostalgic? In a good way, it gives him a warm glimpse into what his life could've been as a teen/young adult. Plus it's filled with all the things you love which by default he loves it too. I like to think he steals trinkets from your room that you love the most when he's anxious.

Like you've come home before to him in the corner of his room with one of your big plushies in his arms during an episode. It smells like you it grounds him back into reality. Whatever he's seeing in his head isn't real, but you are. You signify safety.

Yandere Jason who mimics anything you do to learn how to act normal. He doesn't mean to but he spends so much time either with you or lurking near by. Your food options are a major thing is copies. He's often overwhelmed by the many choices in store so when he's hungry, he'll just pick up anything he's remembered you eating. Even if he didn’t like it much.

He doesn't realizes these habits are a bit strange. enviably, one of the other siblings poke fun at him for how his face scrunches up at the taste of your favorite snack. They laughed how he should just get things he likes instead of trying to copy you all the time. They weren't trying to be cruel, just playing like siblings do but it made his world crumble. Was that really strange? Jason didn't mean to make you feel weird. Did you feel weirded out by it, have you been telling the other siblings how bothered you were by his antics?

"Jason, its okay. It's seriously not a big deal, it's slightly odd but i don't mind." You tried reassuring him but it just confirmed his thoughts.

You did think it was weird. That he was weird. You laugh about him behind his back all the time, don’t you?

He knows he's a bit off the drum. He knows he's an embarrassment but a deluded part of him thought maybe the difference wasn't as big as he made it out to be. It was just paranoia. guess..not. He's shattered. His one safe space wasn't real. He wasn’t good enough like the others….yet.

Yandere Jason has to become like a normal brother for you. He needs to be like Dick and Tim. He needs you to think he's cool and fun to be around. He needs to be a good brother...one you're not weirded out by.

[qprpbj]

i wanna hear ur thoughts on the pony dying at the fountain au thing :)

THANK YOU FOR ASKINGGGG. this entire thing is delusional yap central and 95% johnny based so. im so sorry in advance btw.

well. first. so i think johnny wouldn't have had the instinct to run the way he did trying to protect pony and go to dally's — i cant really remember it tbh but i once saw an interpretation of johnny where he was like. his instincts and actions (stabbing paul without a second thought) were compared to that of almost a child (due to abusive parents and neglect etc etc) when put in the worst case scenario so he makes snap judgements without using his head, whereas pony thinks decisions through and mulls over shit maybe more than he should, which is why johnny just yanks him away and gets them to dally's place. i think johnny wouldn't have had that drive in him bc deep down he knowssss pony's gone, knows there's nobody that needs protecting, so he just. sits. at the fountain with pony in his lap. possibly for hours till the sun comes up, most likely in denial trying to convince himself pony isn't dead. doesn't know where to go or who to tell or what to do, esp bc this kid is already so heavily traumatized as is, he simply doesn't make the best decisions sometimes. just how it goes

then like. i assume someone finds them sitting there eventually, johnny can't even talk, whether it be the gang out looking bc they didn't show up last night or this morning or idk a stranger on a walk or literally idk. but. either way. the sheer difference in how pony's death were to be treated vs bob's?? there's no investigation done even though johnny says it was the socs, it wasn't a suicide, they got jumped and pony got killed. he lists them all by name, says exactly what happened, but there's never gonna be justice for pony bc nobody cares when it's a greaser who gets exploited or tortured or hurt or killed. (justice for tulsa scene where the cop shines a light on two-bit getting jumped and turns a blind eye....hmmm).

i thinkkk soda and darry would take johnny in. i won't harp on how torn up they'd obviously be — think soda's letter but about eight hundred times more nauseating ykwim. they just don't get along right without ponyboy. they lost their parents and they lost their kid brother and nearly johnny too — and nobody ever gets justice. so, it's darry who calls war & it's him who calls the rumble in pony's name. :)

johnny probably stays w them for a while but entirely collapses in on himself — literally rots from the inside out with guilt, bc he had a blade and he didn't use it. whether it be bc he chickened out or he was restrained too hard and wasn't strong enough or whatever the case, he takes on guilt heavyyyy for it. withdraws from the gang, from the curtises, saves up whatever little money he can and runs away to windrixville alone — bc hear me out. i think both him And pony def feel some type of way about bringing grief and sorrow and death wherever they go canonically in some type of way. esp him like..staying with pony's brothers now, probably sleeping in his old bedroom trying to keep pony's memory alive. idk idk. the guilt just goes CRAZYYY so. johnny runs away to an old church dally once suggested to him if he ever needed a place to go to run away — esp bc johnny literally canonically has considered running away before.

gang goes crazy over this obviously. search and search and it takes...who knows, days, weeks, to find him. he's got a bit of money stashed and he's not on the run from cops so he can go out to find food and whatever freely but he wants out, doesn't wanna be around the gang. dally shoots up in bed at like 3am realizing he knows exactly where tf johnny must be and collects them all in a car to drive out and find him. they get there and corner him like he's a lil scared animal shining flashlights in the dark and he pulls his blade on them all when they try to approach him up backed against the wall cause he dipped for a reason, damn it, and he doesn't want to be found. dally always runs away and finds success. the implications of johnny pulling a blade on the gang and on dally (out of fear) who gave him it in the first place?? esp when dally prefaced it by when you use this you have to do this with confidence, you have to really mean it, you can't back down when you pull a blade. idk the implications are There. that's literally where this whole thing came from LOL

that's. all i've got lol. thanks for tuning into this absolute monstrosity of a reply i'm so sorry LOL

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

you mentioned in the tags of that burnout post that its been 6 years and you still havent gotten to everything you wanted to in laoft, just out of curiosity are there any fics youve had in mind since the beginning/early on that youre still planning on writing but havent yet?

mostly prequels ive referenced but never gotten around to actually writing

the time as young teens/middle schoolers roman fell out of tree, hit his head and lost consciousness and logan had a week-long catastrophic meltdown about it (this is titled 'logan and the terrible horrible no good very bad week' in my documents)

a fic about very early LAMP dealing with/talking out romans habit of agreeing to or initiating things he doesnt actually want to do in order to protect himself from anything he perceives as them being mad at him

midquel during what you choose to put in the ground, were patton and logan discuss roman the day after meeting him and whether or not theyre going to try and be his friend

Virgil misunderstanding a human cultural thing because of movies/tv and assuming its like, Legally Required Of Him to ask permission of LMPs parents to marry them, so he goes to shelley first sweating bullets and shelleys like 'oh sweetheart' and we get a little bonding moment for them

more companions to Wit where i show all of the lamp combos moment of Realization when they fall in love

silly tea leaf reading fic that been languishing 3 sentences long for like 5 years

may and night!roman the first time she teaches him magic

logans flower shop opening

death threat jar.... TWO

gc goes camping

may and roman visiting abby's grave when he's a kid (9-10) and him feeling conflicted about it because he doesnt remember her/worrying he doesnt love her 'enough'

a more bittersweet companion to Requiem with Linda and Remus and their families

i really want to do more guidebook entries but i got a new computer and lost my copy of clipstudio and cant figure out how to get it back XD so i have to wait until i figure that out or buy a new copy

May + virgil hurt/comfort reminiscing about Greta and Trudi.

Dot and Larry romance fic featuring alternating cheerleader and heckler abby

analogical word association games (analogical because logan has a ginormous vocabulay and virgil is hundreds of years old, so the goal winds up being trying to say a word the other doesnt know or doesnt know enough words to play off of)

We've had badass protective LAM but i have one for Patton thats languishing as well

Virgil stumbling up on the Gage's hunting blind, which used to be Greta and Toby's house and is now derelict

fae specific idioms vs wickhills specific idioms

fire poker drama with roman and dot - he finds out about it and is uuuuuh. unhappy, to say the least

roman doing knot/weaving/braiding magic like his mom on his and linda's hair

a day in the life of dr. emile picani the only psychotherapist in a town full of magically traumatized people only he is qualified to treat (AKA So Much Pressure)

Dot and Larry with a very young Logan realizing that they have a child who physically can't lie and that it would therefore be extremely easy for them to violate his boundaries and privacy without even meaning to, and them talking about how to handle that

theres other stuff in the someday file, but these are the once ive had from or almost from the start

[adalwolfgang]

Teehee Could you do Jax x (PLATONIC) gn child reader who had shitty parents and was abused, they also flinch at the slightest movements and Jax starts to get worried??? 💕💕💕 (TADC)

🌒^🌘

🐰𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝘁𝘀𝗱/𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁/𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲🐰

-Jax would take notice of this the second you enter the digital circus. From hoo-ha's random outbursts to Caine popping up randomly, he could tell right off the bat how skittish you were when it came it loud noises and quick movements.

-Since no one can remember their life before being stuck in the circus, safe to assume you cant remember your abusive past but your brain still has that fight or flight response. Think of it like having to sneeze. For me at least, when I sneeze, I don't even think about it and I immediately sneeze into my arm or quickly grab a tissue before I sneeze. Same thing happens to you but for a more traumatic reason? Moving on-

-I think the second Jax would grow worried of this is when you do it around him and the other cast. He'd understand you doing it around Caine, Kinger, or even Bubble. But the others AND him? That's when he gets a little worried for you. So do the others but we aren't focusing on them, are we?

-The only reason I think Jax would even care about the fact of you flinching around him is because he sees himself. Since Gooseworx confirmed Jax to be 22 and he says, "We've been stuck here for years!" we can only assume he was a child just like you.

-He'd probably try and solve the issue by trying to show you you can't get too badly hurt in the digital circus like you could as a human. He'd probably also try and make some agreement with Caine to where the adventures aren't to dangerous or could harm you in any way.

-If for some reason Caine says no (He would never say no to helping a kid) Jax would stick by your side throughout the whole adventure, trying to make it as enjoyable as possible. From telling you jokes, to letting you help him prank the others. Anything to get you to laugh and smile.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

borderline illiterate gruvia think piece.

happy gruvia day i guess!

so like…… im a grown woman. so believe me when i say at this point i rly couldnt care to be genuinely bothered by antis. like i will literally just block them lmao. ok yes i did write a whole fic revolving around a comment by an anti KFHDKSJWJEDK but i rly wasnt mad i was just genuinely inspired by what they said.

ANYWAYS! nonsensical 294820381002 word rant incoming from the “unbothered” grown woman.

seeing people say how gray is out of character in 100 yq/has stockholm syndrome are literally missing the entireeeee point of his and juvia’s relationship and its crazy!!

*side note, i think for the sake of helping gray’s character and development, they sacrificed a lot of cool things about juvia and a lot of her individuality which i do not like. but thats a rant for another time. btw do notttt even come for me bc she is literally still by far my fav character lmao*

im probably gonna go on for too long about this but gray’s whole fucking character throughout the whole story from beginning to end is centered around the fact that hes cold and closed off and grumpy and “too cool” and listen im not saying this is fucking rocket science or any type of transcendent literature by any means but i HAVE to point out that hes a fucking ice wizard. like. duh. im sure his character/personality was meant to go along with abilities i mean look at literally EVERYONE else in fairy tail.

ANYWAYS the reason he is this way is because he’s so used to losing all of the people he loves and even worse, hes used to so many people sacrificing themselves for him.

and it traumatizes him!! so many people hes been close to have died and he ultimately always thinks its his fault! lord knows im rusty with ft knowledge but his parents died (cant remember if it was in any type of sacrificial way teehee), Ur sacrifices herself for gray, ultear sacrifices herself for gray, and his dad dies AGAIN (once again, not sure if this was in a sacrificial manner lmao. i kindaaa think it was? maybe? shrug.). but POINT IS! theres a common theme of loved ones dying and/or sacrificing themselves for him. there might even be more people lmao idfk.

so what happens when he meets a girl who has an overwhelming and unwavering and infinite love for him?! he is freaked the fuck out!!! for a couple reasons! 1. he is so used to losing the people that love him and 2. he doesn’t even think hes deserving of any love to this degree!

then what happens? he PUSHES HER AWAY! KEEPS HER AT A DISTANCE!!!! because THATS ALL HE KNOWS!!!!!!!!! yes he has his friends who love him but no one has ever loved him in the way and abundance that JUVIA DOES! so he has to react appropriately! lots of love = lots of keeping her at an arms length!

so when he thinks he loses juvia in their fight with invel, and she comes back, dont we think it would make sense that he finally realizes he should accept his feelings for her? i mean remember when he said he promised her an answer AFTER the war? once again, like gray, pushing things off. and then he almost LOSES HER without ever telling her how he feels! so gray realizes life is short! theres no use in trying to deny ur feelings! these are common themes in like 85% of my gruvia drabbles lmao.

im not even saying that it was love at first sight for him and that gray liked her from the jump. bc i dont think thats true. i think we can finally see outward romantic feelings for juvia right after the tartaros arc, when juvia visits gray at his parents’ grave. but before that, i think juvia was a friend (wellll i feel like after the tenrou island arc he liked her more than a friend, but he didnt really realize how much more) who he cared about, and truly didnt know what to make of her because like i said, hes never known a person to love him so much and actually not die LMAO.

but my point is, juvia is the perfect person to be gray’s romantic partner. she is a person so full of love and so happy to love and she doesnt care who knows it. she is unequivocally herself and she wears her heart on her sleeve to the upmost extent.

it literally only makes sense for his character to end up with her!

u could argue gray doesnt need to end up with anyone at all bc he has his friendsssss and likeeee. sureee. fine. but what fun is that? i personally want to see the scared-of-love grump to find his person. i think, again, thats kind of the point of gray’s character- learning u are worthy of love, accepting love, and learning to love openly.

im sorry but literally what better happy ending for him than to be with juvia?

so fast forward to 100 yq, where he is just sooooo out of character apparently. dont we think that may actually be…. character development?

the boy who probably couldn’t even fathom a romantic relationship is now finally accepting he’s in love. he’s done pushing it off, he’s done denying, he’s done depriving himself of feeling love. thats a step in the right direction! now what? in true gray fashion, he thinks hes still not good enough! and that’s where we are now. he’s not confident, he thinks he’s weak, and he thinks he cant protect her. why? he knows she loves him. he knows he’s objectively a strong wizard. so why does he feel inadequate? CIRCLE BACK!!! TO WHO GRAY IS AS A PERSON!!!! SINCE DAY ONE!!! constantly in fear of losing his loved ones! thinking he can’t protect them! SCARED TO LOVE!

like im sorry the proof is soooo in the pudding and i totally understand if gruvia isn’t ur cup of tea but to say things arent making sense is silly to me! they actually make perfect sense!

and yknow what. im gonna go from a romantic standpoint to a realist standpoint. years ago, mashima said he likes gray and juvias dynamic and didnt have anything serious in mind for them anytime soon. so he kept that going for literally the entire series. well. he ended fairy tail alluding to the fact that gray and juvia were kinda together at that point. or he at least ended it with the pretty obvious conclusion that gray does in fact have feelings for juvia. so then when ft 100 yq starts what was he supposed to do? act like all of their development in the last arc never happened? that would be kinda hard to do!

whatever i just hope at least like 3 of these sentences were coherent lmao u guys get my point

[boneappleteethsplural]

serious post again, CW: brief mentions of suicide and death threats

i saw a post that stated "bullying alone can not cause USDD/OSDD" i dont remember the exact words but that was the jist of it.

kids are fucking brutal. story time! when we were in grade 10 (freshman year, i believe) we got our head slammed in a locker door. we got a concussion from that. we have permanent double vision, we had one surgery, and we have another lined up because it will not go away. we had to do a full year of eye therapy and exercises in an attempt to fix it that did not work. that same kid has been verbally tormenting us since before kindergarten. that kid has gotten multiple of our classmats to berate us and bring us down. that kid has genuinely caused us to consider suicide. he turned everyone against us, spread rumours, the works. we had NO friends from school. we never had anyone over for birthdays except cousins who were obligated to come. we never got invited to anyone elses birthday, because no one liked us. we were the 'weird kid' (undiagnosed autism, undiagnosed adhd, undiagnosed other disorders that fuck with our mind and make dayto day life more impossible than it is) no one ever wanted to be our friend we were isolated and neglected and! bullied! HARSHLY! PHYSICALLY HARMED by classmates. we are 20 years of age bodily, we have a few issues (that i will not name) that makes our mental age be the equivalent of 15-16. we will always be a few years behind our physical age. our mom says that once we turn 24, 25 that itll be easier to pretend we're the right age mentally. all of this shit got us bullied to the point where this other kid deemed it acceptable to screw up our fucking vision by smalling our head in a locker door when we bent down to pick up a binder and make our parents shell out fifty thousand+ dollars to try and fix it. you wanna know what they did to make sure we didnt get bullied again? took us out of the same classes and moved our locker. he didnt get suspended or expelled or even punished. the bullying stopped after we dropped out due to suicidal thoughts and self harming tendencies. we have not gone back, and we legally cant go back as we're legal adults now.

when our aunts went to school, they received threats such as "im going to bring my dads b*tch*r kn*fe to school and ch*p your head off". do you know how fucking upsetting that is to a child? do you know how terrified our aunts were when they got told things like that DAILY? they could not go to the teachers, because the teachers would step in, talk to the bully, and then the bully would call them tattletales and bully them harder.

we got hit with a motercycle by our brother and then got blamed for it. it wasnt our fault. we were on a bicycle, driving on the right side of the road, pretty much in the ditch. and he hit us and lied about it to our parents so he wasnt in trouble and they believed him and yelled at us and took our bike away. even lying like that can be horribly horriby damaging to a small child.

when youre a small child and dont have a big concept of 'things could be worse!' and stuff like that, bullying is a massive deal and it can, and has, driven people to suicide, kids recieve literal death threats and then dont tell people because they will get bullied harder. other kids will lie about big things and then you get blamed for something very serious that is not your fault. kids get physically harmed, and the teachers do nothing about it and the child learns early on that they are on their own. traumatizing, right? people also seem to forget that parents are the bullies sometimes. parents who bully their kids also count as bullying. bullying is bullying no matter who it is.

obviously our trauma and OSDD wasnt caused solely by bullying. we have a rough home life, our parents are actively preventing us from getting a job and moving out, but thats a story for another time or maybe even never. i dont mind sharing those three stories as they happened a long long time ago, we have come to terms with it and accepted that they happened. we cant do anything about it anymore.

dont share your trauma online unless you know for a fact you wont be bothered if someone attempts to harass you or use it against you, this was to prove a point and let people know how fucking awful and traumatizing bullying can be from anyone.

DISASSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDERS CAN BE CAUSED BY BULLYING.

-Lumi/Etho

[fcknstar]

,, the innocence is gone "

pairings : gf!ethanlandry x fem!reader ( vesper )

summary : what happens when history tends to repeat himself?

content warnings : violence, betrayal, obsession.

**lowercase intended**

" ghostface would be attractive if he didnt kill.. " you voiced out, in your own world when the whole group turned to face you in shock. 

" uhm.. i think thats a bit far fetch dont you think? " mindy cringed. 

how can the thought of someone with a mask pull your heartstrings, or even turn you on.

" i mean, in my opinion he could be pretty hot. " you shrugged. 

the group wasnt new on your interests in slashers, criminals. you figured that it was always the attractive ones who killed. they just found it weird considering you, mindy, the carpenter sisters and chad nearly got killed by one. 

" coping mechanisms. " quinn laughed the tension off, with the rest awkwardly nodding. 

★ 

ever since ethan joined the group, you have been nothing but attached. how did a good looking guy - a snack - be so lonely. you thought he had someone in his mind, the one you knew you couldnt occupy. but he did. you. but he soon swallowed the feeling down to focus on his mission. he knew he had to kill you, so why did your existence crumble him. making him question about his true intentions. 

" i had econ! " he defended himself as mindy analyzed ethan. 

you saw ethan leaving the apartment so you did trust him. 

" mindy, he did leave the apartment, remember? " you whispered, eyes closed as you listened to the rustling sounds around you. 

" see? " 

" vesper, you are next in my list- " 

" what? just because i defended him doesnt make me the killer. and you know for a fact i would never considering the fucking shit weve been through! " you couldnt believe your ears, your own best friend not trusting you. 

" mindy, i think you are over- analysing everything right now. " sam sighed. she trusted you, even if she knew she couldn't trust anyone. but youve been there for her and tara since day one. 

" fine, but ethan is still on the top of my list. " ethan bringing his hands up in defeat. giving him a lopsided smile, he returned a sad smile back.

everyone were starting to turn their backs on their own people, those that had to relive such traumatic moments. 

★ 

" hello? " 

" hey, ves! i was wondering if you could head down to the library? i need your help. " your friends voice begging for a yes to come out from you. instead a -

" no, im sorry. im with ethan right now, catching up on some shit i dont understand. ill try to come down as soon as possible though! " ethans eyes darting to your face. he loved the way you said his name. how sweet and soft youd say it, as if he was a fragile doll you had to take care off. 

" oh man, alright sure! just text me - update me yea! bye! " a sigh was heard from the other side. 

" bye love~ " you giggled. you were often flirtatious with your closest friends. ethan - not knowing the gender of the caller, narrowed his eyes. 

" so sorry about that- " 

" who was that? " ethan couldnt help but ask. he just had to know. if you couldnt be his, you shouldn't be anyones. 

" lana, she needed help with something. i dont know. " ethan nodded. 

★ 

ethan has yet to leave your side since the van. he needed to be with you as long as he could before he killed you, as him or as ghostface. so when gale brought you and the others down to the shrine, you realized ethans hand around your wrist. 

looking up at him, him smiled. 

" cant let you leave my sight knowing youd go crazy over this stuff. might lose you on the way. " you chuckled. 

looking over the items, you couldn't help but wonder how did someone collect items that was about six years ago - or even more. walking up on stage, you grazed every piece of black robe that could be filled with blood. this was a new feeling and you liked it. 

" remember how you said that ghostface was attractive, i get how someone might like him. " ethan blurted out. 

" haha very funny eth. " rolling your eyes, knowing that he's just trying to annoy you. 

" i mean look at amber freeman. she was hot. quite literally. "

you stopped at amber freemans robe, such events replaying. 

" welcome to act three. " you stumbled backwards watching as she aimed the gun at you.

" its sad that that pretty face will be gone to waste. " amber made a pouty face. you liked amber, maybe more than just a friend. of course you found her attractive, even with her reveal. but you couldnt.

it felt as if someone took your heart out, squeezed it and pushed it back in. you had to digest so many information and your dumb brain couldnt handle it. you didnt want it to happen again, knowing you couldnt take another heart break.

" ves? " ethan placed an arm on your shoulder. 

" sorry? " 

" you alright? " you nodded, afraid that your voice might crack. 

you coped up with everything by searching on slashers, even learning their tactics. it was interesting to say the least. you soon became obsessed with one you didnt even acknowledge. you should have known.

★

sam and tara pulled you behind them as ghostface removed his mask, revealing ethan. 

his gloomy face was replaced with a menacing smile. you tuned everything out, realizing that everything this happening again. fuck, you thought. ethan was a shy dorky guy, and now standing in front of you is a killer that you liked. oddly enough, you didn't feel betrayed or even hurt. he looked hot, with his hair sticking to his forehead and his breathing heavy. thoughts of blood on his face couldnt help but flood your mind. you just didnt want to die. not yet. 

you didn't even realize when ethans rounding the corner, near the glass display you and sam were standing at. 

you being the closest one, he pulled you, placing the knife against your neck. 

" fuck, eth- " your voice died down in your throat when you felt him press the knife further into your neck. 

" no- " sam and tara wanted to run towards you when quinn stopped them. 

" no, no you little fuckers, you aren't going anywhere. " before walking towards them, ethan walked with you, following quinns steps. your back against his front, you felt his heart thumping hard. probably due to adrenaline. you were going to die. tonight. in the hands of ethan. 

quinn lunged forwards before tara smacked quinn with a brick, knocking her out. 

that was when bailey aimed the gun towards the sisters. 

" you brought a brick to a gun fight.. quite sad isnt it. that you have to die this way. "

" sam- " out of instinct, you jolted forward, forgetting the knife against your neck. you had cut your neck slightly, as you pushed yourself further behind against ethan. 

" you sweet dumb thing. too stupid to not realize that you may cut yourself. " ethan pouted before pulling you away from the others. 

sam and tara saw ethan pushing you forward with the knife against your back. shit, they thought. 

before you could even ask him where he was bringing you, he stabbed you in the arm. 

" ive always wanted to stick something in you, ves! " he smiled victoriously.

" fuck you, eth! " you breathed.

" is that an offer? " shaking his head, he continued, "since i like you, ill spare you. " 

he has made up his mind.

a.n : have been vv obsessed lately, requests coming soon <3

[5mis4tunes]

Chuuya Nakahara CAN dream. heres my PROOF. // stormbringer spoilers!!

[tl;dr - THINK ABT IT WITH CONTEXT!! PLEASE]

everyone who argues that its 'canon he cannot dream' uses the same point. the first line of stormbringer is "Chuuya Nakahara didn't dream." [page 14] which is an understandable misconception, but you're not thinking about the context. first of all, the phrasing is important. its not that he cannot dream, its that he didnt. he isnt incapable. i think this sentence is more-so to bring up his nightmares, he didnt dream, BUT, he had nightmares. what is actually happening in this scene is clarified in the third and fourth paragraphs.

"Swirling within his chest were the remnants of some intense emotion, although he couldn't remember what emotion, exactly. He'd been like this every day as of late. Chuuya gave up trying to remember and left his bedroom to take a shower."

the inference you can make here is that something in his sleep caused him to feel like this, but the second he woke up he was unable to recall exactly what it was. the only plausible explanation for this is that he had a nightmare. "For him, waking up was like a bubble emerging from within mud."

also, the specific "as of late" sentence is also proof that this only has to do with his nightmares. he cannot remember his nightmares. they are traumatic flashbacks, so his mind blocks them out when he wakes up. this is especially important to support why he doesn't remember his past, as he proceeds to shower and "He thought about who he was while the hot water poured down his body."

my next point is how embarrassed chuuya got when the albatross said, "Were so used to you randomly being in a bad mood once every month or so, but I gotta ask: Did something happen? A bad dream, maybe?" [page 21]

which is followed with "A bad dream. The instant he heard those words, Chuuya turned around, furious. "Nothing happened!" His rage violently shook the glasses in the pool hall."

i feel like he wouldve reacted differently if he was simply incapable of dreaming. its like he got embarrassed because he just realized what he had forgotten. what a silly defensive guy.

and my final point is that it just wouldn't make sense? at the end of stormbringer it suggests he is a human, so why would he be unable to dream? its something that doesnt make sense with any of his lore. my nightmare explanation makes a lot more sense for his character.

[this point is better proven that even if you don't remember ur dreams, as a human being you dream every single night regardless.]

SOO THIS is my essay that proves chuuya nakahara is capable of dreaming. the idea that he cant is really just a misconception from the line being taken out of context.

[galaxygorl-does-stuff]

FUCKKKK ASRIELS AT COLLEGE AND THE INTERNETS DOWN SO KRIS HAS NO WAY TO CONTACT HIM

HE WOULD TOTALLY REALIZE SMTHS WRONG WITH KRIS BUT KRIS CANT TELL HIM FUCKING HELL AODYBEBC

but like imagine being Kris rn:

you find a cool fantasy world!!! woah!!! but sike!! ur possessed and cant actually do whatever u want :p oh well

you get new friends that dont actually know you and that you've never really talked to. but circumstances have made you spend most of your time with them and they have no clue you've been acting different. the people who would realize this are:

asriel. your brother. he's off to college, and you can't video call him because the internet's down. the one person who could help the most is unavailable.

noelle. a friend you've had since childhood. but you haven't been able to talk to her much, between school, the dark world, and her visits to the hospital. but she might not notice, since she's been distracted with the disappearence of dess. she's been going through a lot lately.

oh! and depending on the ending, she's traumatized! sure, she noticed something was controlling you, but it still looked like you. the voice was different, but she's still wary around you. you were both traumatized from that experience but you can't express it. the closest apology you can give is a look, but she doesn't understand you.

your only moments of freedom are at the end of the day, when you can tear out your soul for a short amount of time. but you're slow without it. can you even live without your soul? will the only escape from possession still not be enough?

no matter how much you try to stop yourself, you say whatever the soul makes you say. you do whatever the soul makes you do. you try, but it still comes out strained. you try, but it isn't enough. if you could stop yourself, maybe things would be different.

also the soul is set on talking to everybody. youre an introvert. at least you aren't technically doing the socializing. but they'll remember, and might talk to you when the possession ends. IF the possession ends. more people who only know this false version of you.

I had more to write but I forgot it :p anyway I love deltarune and I need to know more about Kris or I'll go feral :3 this post changed a few times but who cares

[ufoend]

∆ please help us

we can not afford any of our basic needs

i usually try to keep this as light as possible, but i have put this off for long enough that i have to post this. me and my partner desperately need help. we are just two gay people trying to make it alone here with absolutely no support system. *remaking because the first post died

who we are: im j (or jet), im 24 year old trans guy whose had this account since 2014. i married my partner in 2018, we even met on tumblr when we were younger, we've been together for years. my partner is disabled (diagnosed with autism and seizure disorder and others)

what we need: basic needs, help with vet care, dental emergency assistance and general support. our cat had an emergency surgery two years ago that means he needs to be on a prescription diet (hills urinary food) for his entire life. the vet suddenly said we need to bring him in again to get his prescription renewed and we cant order any more food for him until then, which he will not survive without, and he is not allowed to eat any alternative food without risking his life. we have less than half of a 8 lb bag of it which will not last him through the next month. with the vet, food, and ubers to get to the vet and to the only place they sell the food = 200

to try to summarize our situation, we were kicked out by family and made officially homeless for the first time last year. this is right after we moved across states (wa to az) to support my partners family upon their request, only to be subjected to abuse and kicked out directly due to homophobia in an unfamiliar state after a few months. this left both of us and all of our animals entirely homeless. we luckily have an apartment now but our situation isnt stable. we lost all of our belongings at this time, everything we had built, and have not been able to replace them as we have very fixed income. my partner is especially affected by this situation, as it was traumatizing, and they have just had to power through trauma after trauma because of poverty, more than i can say.

i also have severe and painful dental problems that are not covered by medicaid in az and i have no way to afford. this includes wisdom teeth, root canals, and many cavities that will turn into that crazy expensive treatment if i don't fix it. some may remember my post about this (+this) showing the work i need. i cant keep ignoring it, because they are worried about two of the cavities becoming root canals, and i want to prevent another infection, but thats at least 250 each i also lost a cap and need to replace it to save the tooth, but that's at least 600.

we are still not going to be able to afford rent in future months because our EBT was delayed last month and i had to spend money we don't have, and without student loan forgiveness, my partner will not have loans anymore so we are in serious jeopardy even affording rent, let alone bills. our pets (2 cats 1 small dog) also desperately need vaccinations, which is dangerous to keep going this overdue without with their health problems. our dog has also been limping for the past week and he needs to be seen when that is ever possible, at least 65 plus ubers.

any donations would go first to the vet appointment and cat food, then the other needs in order of priority. will keep updating this, i know its a lot and i really don't expect anything as i know it's well over 1000 for it all, i am begging for help with any of this.

we are both students, we are trying to work towards stability, while being stuck here. i do everything i can to bring in money to support us on my own. we make 200 less than rent is monthly. i am in school to become a caseworker so i am aware of a lot of resources in my area, and have applied for everything, but we can not do this alone which is why i have to ask for help. i am so sorry for having to do this but i appreciate any support that i do have because of this website. you guys literally save my life. helping out other poor people and getting helped out on here has been the most compassion ive ever been a part of. dollars, even pennies, worth of donations has kept my cat safe, has affected me in real ways. it actually matters to us, no matter the amount.

thank you anyone who reblogs, donates anything at all, or reaches out

*

p*ypal email (best): ptcustomcomp@yahoo.com

v*nmo: @tobler707

c*shapp: $tobler707

[commanderquinn]

a list of canon ways in which lillian hart is The Fucking Worst that cora coe deserves financial and emotional compensation for:

-the basis for the big divorce counseling mission is that cora's worried for her mother's safety. that means, before going on a deep cover operation with smugglers known to kill rangers, marines, or anyone else caught trying to interfere with their business, lillian didnt leave her daughter a heads up much less a lead. once the fuck again, this woman decided that her career was more important than her daughter's mental and emotional health. once the fuck again, this woman decided she could just disappear from cora's life and then come back out of the blue without consequence

-when you go to lillian's office to look for her at cora's request, the guy working the desk knows SAM well enough to know his name and give him shit like they've got a personal history, but he??? isnt sure about????? cora's name???? word for word, he looks at her and says "it's cora, right?" you're telling me that this woman doesn't talk about her kid enough for her fellow INVESTIAGATIVE rangers to be sure about her name??? are you SHITTING ME??????? get the fuck out of here. you cant push "ranger family values" and the close ties they have in one breath then claim she likes to keep a professional distance at work in the other. you wanna have the conversation about what fresh hell it is being a working mother in a position of power, lets go, ill have that conversation all day long. but lillian hart is not a fucking example of a working mother and im gonna be pretty fucking insulted for working mothers everywhere if i catch wind of ppl trying to pull that kind of defense card. the woman's an awful parent and should be held the fuck accountable for it. you wanna know how i know????

she doesn't say cora's name enough for the ranger watching the door to be confident in it, but he remembers alllll the stories of the captain her ex is cozying up to. and lillian is the one to confirm during the quest that she has been getting the stories from cora, so there's some clear "oh she already likes the stranger more than me." i know im reading into it because its fiction and none of these people are real, but ive also, y'know been in cora's shoes, so i can tell you from real life experience that shit does exist. idk if that was the writers INTENT, but it sure does a great job at reflecting a very sad reality

-sam points out its dumb that lillian wants to speed the ship, with her daughter on it, directly at the sydicate. idk abt y'all, but my ship was pretty dinky at that point bc i was focused on outposts, and we got ambushed by like 6 ship waves once we landed for that fight. again, i get it. game mechanics get a higher priority than realism. but this whole "we have to finish this because theres a chance you were spotted trying to rescue me" shit is so. nauseating. theres no demand to drop off cora somewhere safe, theres no "lets call in the cavalry." its this fucking egomaniac looking you dead in the eye and being like "i know i just traumatized the shit out of my kid but i need you to drive us into an ambush while she's still on board. hope you're a good shot because sam and i cant kill them ourselves." and so what that we did that????? YOURE TELLING ME IT WAS JUST THOSE SHIPS???? the rest of the organization is just going to LET IT GO???? like no fucking wonder sam sees himself as the better option even through all his fucking doubt. at least he knows when to turn the fuck around because shit is above his paygrade

-she has custody rights. she is a decorated and respected ranger. sam being a smuggler wasnt public knowledge, but point out one person in akila who wouldnt believe her in a heartbeat over it. everyone in town gives him nothing but shit, and they all side with his dad who was definitely no picnic to live with. im guessing big emotional detachment there, lotta interrogation and persecution rather than teaching and understanding. HELL, sam would probably own up to his past if lillian outed him for it, he's that type of idiot. at literally any point she could put in the effort to get legal council involved. if she's SOOOO by the law, whats the hold up there???? i agree the kid shouldnt be on my ship while im in the middle of a space fight. ive talked with sam about it, and im not even the kids parent (as of the personal quest). what the fuck are you doing about it lillian????????? oh thats right. we cant get lillian on the phone. whomp whomp.

-she made cora cry. hyper independent, "big girls dont cry" cora coe. multiple times. worse, she made cora cry because she made cora feel like she wasn't as important as lillian's career. i dont give a fuck what criminals are doing. i do not give a fuck. i give a fuck that that little pixel child got her heart broken and there isnt a dialogue for me to call out her mother for being a huge fucking cunt to her own daughter but theres a thousand and one options for me to tell sam he's parenting wrong. he is, and i have no problem using them when they're appropriate, but where the fuck are they for lillian??? why am i not allowed to tear this woman a new asshole at any point, but there's like 20+ extra dialogue options added to every single npc you have a persuade option with???? todd my head hurts and its your fault

-"im sure sam's told you all about me. go on. ask whatever you want." yet there is no option to ask what the fuck her problem is. so, clearly, i cannot, in fact, ask whatever i want.

-"but the looks i got from my fellow rangers reading alexander dumas... we do strange things for kids." yeah hart??? thats your standard????? THATS your idea of going out of your way for your kid??? literally how did sam fall for this woman oh my god i cant even listen to her speak without wanting to use the power of bitchhood i inherited from a long line of angry irish women to ridicule her to tears. maybe then she'll fucking understand how small she makes her fucking kid feel every time she turns a moment of bonding into a little "woe is me and my comfort zone oh how unfortunate i am to have a brilliant daughter that wants to connect with me through her greatest passion"

-she openly admits that she dumped the cargo sam was smuggling not because she felt any connection or sympathy or just didnt want to destroy someones chance at life in a capitalist society, but because he was a good pilot and she didnt want that talent to "go to waste" so she could recruit him. thats not really a thing against cora i just really fucking hate that and the picture it paints of her priorities as a human being

-"if we're going to be really honest here... back when we were a team... cora would follow you everywhere, like a little adoring dog. i... just fell out of it. long before we separated."

i literally. do not have words for how fucking disgusted i am by that line of dialogue. oh my fucking god. oh my fucking god. i. i TRULY would not even know where to start. the dog comparison makes me violently angry and if you'd given me a punch interrupt at that moment, i would have broken my keyboard punching the accept option

-go replay or watch a recording of that divorce counseling mission one more time. while you're doing it, imagine the roles reversed. imagine youre romancing a character thats a mother bringing cora into space, and the ranger standing in your cockpit asking to finish the mission is her father who took off to live at work once it was clear his little girl liked mommy better. imagine THAT while you listen to the (imo) out of fucking pocket dialogue where sam constantly praises lillian for being "a good ranger/woman." then you come back and tell me how comfortable you are with the concept of lillian hart as a character.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I think my biggest issue with Rhysand (so far) is that the narrative pretends hes such a pragmatist, a guy who makes the smartest decisions in the worst of circumstances when his decisions UTM are so bad from a tactical perspective they border on comedy

Like, hey man, why dont you just leave Feyre alone with her warm meals so she can recover and try to solve that riddle thats gonna immediately save all of your lives, why do you keeps dragging her outside so you can feed her weird wine which makes her unable to think. Sure, 3 months of solitary confinement that she can actually remember is gonna mess her up for life but you would think that would be a fair enough trade in exchange for everyones freedom in the mind of someone as mOrAlLy GrAy as my man Rhysand. (Not that the shit he actually did to Feyre wouldnt have messed her up, it just didnt because if she was actually traumatized by his actions, she wouldntve been fawning over him and we cant have that now can we) Amarantha is clearly not checking up on her so he can do whatever he wants with Feyre including yknow, HELP HER especially after they made that bargain and he got what he wanted from her. Like, he couldve totally healed her if he wanted and he wouldnt have even gotten in trouble for it because Amarantha wouldve just been like "oh damn, Lucien did that" and taken that as an excuse to torture him some more (and Tamlin by extension)

And its not like Im expecting the guy whos been getting traumatized for 49 consecutive years to make a rational decision, but because Rhysand is meant to be the bestest most perfectest MaLe in all 21 dimensions or however many there are in the maasverse, hes not allowed to actually be affected by the horrible shit that happened to him because that would make him a "weak male" in sjm's eyes, so all of his decisions are treated as perfectly rational and its incredibly infuriating

[mins-fins]

HAUNTED (L.DH)

SUMMARY . . . it's difficult to.. grasp it, in a way, yeah, donghyuck is psychically there, but he doesn't remember anything, like his mind has been wiped clean. in the end, he's just a walking blank slate.

PAIRING . . . lee donghyuck x male!reader

GENRE . . . angst, somewhat fluffy

WARNINGS . . . passing mentions of car accidents, post-traumatic amnesia

WORD COUNT . . . 0.9k

NOTES . . . im going to admit, not my best work, i made this SUPER PRETTY HEADER and the writing cant even compare its so……… *sighs* mediocre 🙁, anyway i love haechan sorry if this doesn't live up to expectations

"do you know who i am?"

it's the same response as always, donghyuck's eyebrows knit together and he pauses whatever he's doing for a moment, staring at y/n like he's a complete stranger that he's never met anymore. y/n has to admit, it really feels like his heart is being ripped out of his body every time he asks this question and he gets this response.

"your.." donghyuck pauses once again, his mind going blank. y/n knows this is the result of the accident, that his condition will probably get better with time, but does it remove the pain of him not knowing him? no. "y/n, my boyfriend, my partner".

y/n blinks, staring at the male right in front of him. he tries his best not to cry. he doesn't sound sure of himself, he sounds like he's trying to convince himself that that was the right answer. donghyuck continues staring, his eyes holding nothing, just emptiness that y/n can identify.

he clears his throat, shaking his head. it's too early in the morning to get emotional like this. "yeah that's.. right, sorry, i—"

"i hope i didn't say anything wrong" donghyuck says, biting his inner cheek. "your not upset, are you?" he asks, his voice lowering to an astonishing way honestly, it makes y/n want to cry even more.

"no no, you didn't i'm just.. i thought about something sad that's all" he doesn't look convinced, which y/n finds ironic considering his current condition.

"oh i'm sorry".

it's difficult, living with someone who once remembered every single little thing about you, now not even remembering your facial features, or your favorite color, or your hobbies, or what your coffee order is. y/n didn't expect for him to live when it came to the accident, it would've hurt having to go to a funeral for someone he loves so dearly; but it also hurts knowing that because of the trauma from accident, everything is just.. a blur now.

it hurts, having to clarify who he is every few minutes because he doesn't remember, and it hurts even more because it's like living with a blank piece of paper. yeah maybe he's psychically there in a sense, but he's just.. there, he doesn't remember anything much, and when he does talk first, which is unlikely, all he talks about is stuff that's barely important.

when y/n does bring up stuff they did in the past, or shows him the pictures they used to take on their polaroid cameras together, all donghyuck can do is just stare, because he so badly wants to remember it, he wants for his memory to desperately come back and for everything to go back to how it was before he decided to get into that car on that saturday morning.

but it just can't.

life just isn't fair, and no matter how much y/n tries to act like it'll all be okay, it won't. it won't ever be okay, he can try to ignore it, he can try to act like he's doing well, dealing with it well, but.. he isn't, everyone can see through his stupid facade.

"you look very pretty in these pictures" donghyuck randomly comments, looking through the polaroids spread around the table. pictures the two of them had taken together with.. his camera. he gives y/n a small smile, focusing back on the pictures.

"yeah, you took them" he replied simply, and donghyuck blinks, he doesn't remember that, of course he doesn't, y/n can envision the words that are about to leave his mouth.

"i don't—"

"remember.. i know" y/n cuts, donghyuck looks sad for a moment, casting his eyes away from his partner. "hey it's okay" he runs a hand up and down his back. "i'm not upset, it isn't your fault".

donghyuck blinks, he wonders what it'd be like if he just.. did remember, he'd save y/n so much pain and despair if he could just remember. does the universe hate him so much that he's causing pain to the one person who loves him the most? why can't he just remember everything? he wishes y/n could be happy, because even with the smiles he showcases to donghyuck, he's not really happy.

it bothers him, like an itch, but no matter how much he tries, his mind can't conjure up anything, whenever he thinks he's about to get it, it's like his mind resets, and every memory he's ever had has ceased to exist.

it keeps him up at night, and he doesn't even know why, because usually he just.. sleeps, he usually never tosses and turns, he usually never zones out staring at the ceiling, he usually sleeps just like that.

but he can't help but think he's at fault..

he can't control other people's actions, he can't, but it just makes him feel so disappointed knowing that the reason y/n doesn't have peace.

donghyuck rolls over, staring at y/n's sleeping face, he looks peaceful, and it makes a smile come to his face. his mind always goes a little hazy when he thinks of y/n, and he knows that it makes y/n's mood go down.

he doesn't know why, but he reaches over and lightly brushes y/n's hair out of his face. he blinks, just staring at him. he stays asleep, only lightly shifting. in his unconsciousnesses, he reaches over and grabs donghyuck's hand, holding it.

donghyuck is a little taken aback, he looks down, staring at the sight. y/n's hand is warm, it feels nice.

he lightly smiles again.

he doesn't really remember much, but y/n's still by his side.

for now, he'll just live in the moment.

[qoldenskies]

Thank you for the pain it was delicious, 10/10 will order again

I have so many feelings about it HHHH I feel like I accidentally dug myself into a situation (or you did it on purpose you mad lad) that made everything hit harder.

When I first started reading Caged Lungs, like the first third or even quarter I was convinced it was a bad dream. Or like a bad trip from the mushrooms on the pizza. That oh, everyone's gonna just wake up and it'll be fine, there's gonna be reassurances and comfort. But then... It's kind of like a dawning horror situation when I realized more and more that hey, this is real. It's taking chunks out of their lives, they're still doing day to day things but it's getting worse. I didn't even catch it during the fight with Hypno, I just shrugged and went huh, that's weird.

But as it mentions the time crawling and they keep getting worse and Donnies mental health plummeting...

I hit the end and panicked because hey? Wtf? (/pos)

But seeing everything slowly go back to "normal" in Clipped Wings adds to this. Because it's the realization of no, this is real... Or is it? This all happened... Right? Everything should be the way it is but now they're STILL gaslighting him but accidentally this time.

Their denial can only work for so long until it damages both parties. And I feel like it's already there.

This fic has a choke hold on me and I squeal every time I see a new update, unreliable narrator is one of my favorite tropes and you do it SO WELL

:D :D :D YEAASSSS very glad i pulled off the kind of dreamlike quality to caged lungs that i was going for!!! (in some scenes more than others i really tried to accentuate it, like the second-to-last scene with the post-shredder flashback. i mostly used it to draw the most painful contrast i could between how its all ended up vs how it USED to be. very fun to compare the earliest scenes to the final ones though, especially when it comes to donnie's behavior, because it is so painful and jarring) nothing is ever truly MADE UP in donnie's narration, but his grip on reality slips further and further, and with it a lot of the details are twisted (he misinterprets april a lot especially, and also dissociates quite a bit and has memory issues. there's an entire BEATDOWN that you only see the tail-end of because he doesn't remember it, which is probably a good thing considering its one of the most traumatic events from when they were under the curse, probably third behind the murder attempt and the closet. i mean he doesn't remember NOW but..... they do.)

and i hesitate to call their behavior now gaslighting, since gaslighting is an intentional act of abuse intended to make the victim feel like they cant trust themselves and their own memory, etc etc. them covering up the evidence is PLAYING INTO what they did, but they're not denying it (they're doing the opposite, in fact, with how much they're ruminating on it and trying to fix their mistakes, although covering up the evidence is them trying to run away from it to abate their guilt lmao). less lying more omitting the truth, but its still hurting just as much because donnie has conditioned himself to think his memory is unreliable and he "makes things up" because of his "victim complex". even though he's dissociative and is currently struggling with memory issues because of that, he instinctively panics when he gets confused on the details, and they have also conditioned him to be afraid to ASK now, because they would get mad at him for doing it.... its a whole mess. donnie doesn't even know how to communicate his needs anymore, and they dont know they need to ask.

thank you for the ask!!! microwaving this in my brain mmm yumm