#i cant even play any of the games unless i get some sort of copy of a game for the wii or nintendo ds

[guitarhero-3]

becoming a cod fan (hyperfixation) there are multiple different timelines that i have to figure out. i am confused and i feel lost in the maze but its okay. i think.

[whumpshaped]

hey does anyone wanna see a new demon i made yesterday.

picrew

hes rosier. heres some rosier lore copied from the server

for context, in the angel demon au i have with mill (@whumpsday), bellamy is prince of hell (the devil's son) but hes still unmistakably bellamy. so as soon as he can he kills the devil, takes over, and reforms hell entirely by killing off the powerful sadists, forcing everyone else into submission, bribing those who just want power and are willing to help with the reform, and puts laws in place to protect lesser demons and fallen angels. he comes up with the idea of angel sanctuaries where the fallen can be protected. and he needs guards for those sanctuaries. thats where rosier comes in, because hes powerful yet not very interested in torture and has never hurt angels before (a clean record is required)

rosier.. "and by his sweet and sugared words, he tempteth men to fall in love." his eye got messed up by some magic damage. he uh. couldnt fix it bc it was by the devil and its just..... sort of messed up forever

rosier is sort of inspired by big cats. but not in a shax way. shax is like a housecat. rosier is a jaguar/tiger/lion/just anything big and dangerous ok

but hes also just very tired of killing and torture. the devil halfway blinding him was like the last straw and he just left. went away to the most desolate fucking place he could find and just stayed there

then he heard bellamy killed the devil, which he had zero interest in bc surely the heir must be as insufferable as the father. then he slowly hears abt the reforms and he slithers back. just to take a look at least. and .. well its all very different

he sees a poster abt open positions at the angel sanctuary. his record is clean of any angel abuse. he did torture human souls for a good while which he found no particular enjoyment in. then he just turned to feeding on lesser demons, sometimes killing them to see if it sparks anything. but more and more hes thinking maybe hes just not into that. but he has all this power.... and theres all these defenceless angels here. and if that means an audition w the new devil? well. hes in

he has this very calmly confident air abt him. but hes very polite, very compliant

rosier is kind of on the same level as asta. he could likely take zyr in a fair and a dirty fight both actually

i wouldnt say hes necessarily a good character. hes indifferent a lot of times. and he also doesnt step in bc its not worth it. he goes to earth and sleeps w ppl and clearly takes advantage of them. he kills. he used to torture. he didnt stop out of moral qualms rly he stopped bc it wasnt smth he liked doing.

but then he does get into the moral side of it when he starts working for bellamy. and as he gets to know bellamy better he gets into it even more

he feeds primarily on lust, sexual pleasure and fear.

and now i must admit i made him specifically to seduce bellamy. i have created a new blorbo doll to shove towards mill's blorbo and i am saying "now kith"

AND NOW SOME FLIRTY.

rosier also very much finds bellamy attractive but doesnt even think about doing anything abt it until he sees bellamy swooning. and then hes like. aha. fair game then. and begins making the subtlest comments

he also immensely enjoys seeing bellamy flustered. he thinks its the cutest thing. he loooves that bellamy tries to hide it but cant

but also rosier has a good sense of descerning when hes allowed to flirt, and hes otherwise very much focused on his job and knows his place. he wont ever embarrass bellamy or challenge his authority. not unless its just the two of them and tasks for the day have been dealt with and he can play around :)

i cant get the image of this overused trope out of my head. the "hey boss u look tired" [gives gentle massage]

"relax, your majesty. everythings going well. you can stop and breathe for a minute."

(context: bellamy is a vegetarian in the au, VERY strange for a demon because demons usually eat meat. and raw meat at that)

also also the first time when rosier asks him out and it starts out as if hes abt to make some request regarding his position/job but then its like "your majesty if i may be so bold- i noticed you havent had a proper break in a while and as your loyal servant i cannot approve of such behaviour. ive prepared some food and i'd be honoured if you graced me with your presence :)" and its all absolutely free of meat. no meat whatsoever. rosier isnt even eating meat. and its fucken gourmet stuff and not the sort of food the devil made for him thats like..... well this was the first thing i saw on the human market that didnt have meat in it here u go. its actually well thought out and yummy and amazing and rosier is very proud of it bc he made it himself but he absolutely wont reveal that fact until he sees that bellamy loves it

(in response to bellamy gushing about his angels. bellamy has a BUNCH of angels who are bonded to him, and he affectionately refers to them as "his flock")

rosier loves to listen to him when he gets like that. he loooves how passionate bellamy is about making an impact. and it gets him into the whole angel thing sooo much. he ends up sort of collecting his own flock, not by bonds but just on an emotional basis. he tells bellamy he has no idea how it happened but the angels seem to love him a lot lol he gives bellamy all the credit for it tbh. "it wouldve been unthinkable before, you know. ive met angels before the sanctuary system, and their first reaction was not to be concerned about my eye. everythings so.. different now. its nice."

ok thats all thank u stan rosier

[ramu-ego]

mind sharing your other fandom favs then? you have me sort of curious if ego is tots ur type LMFAOA .. omg aftwr u-20 win ego was such a proud dad the face he made was honestly sort of emotional ..!!

NEVVER APOLOGIZE 4 WRITING ANOTHER FIC IDEA HEL i think with my pussy half the time and i read ANYTHINGGG as long as it’s dom!reader (can you tell i’m desperate ORR WHATT?) ngl your “pussy dragging on the keyboard” comment made my ass giggle for a full minute LMFOAO i’ll be using that as well thanks!

personally 4 me i never was really into nikko ASSS MUCHH.. but i can see the hype .. cant stop thinking how sweaty and greasy his forehead must be after those thick ass bangs though.!.!?!

WOAH our timezones r so different HELLPP.. by the time you said it was 6:40 am, it was at least night for me, polar opposites in a way sorta! godd you’re a chronic coffee drinker?? i’m more of a tea person myself but coffee does power through most things with ur day anyways, don’t overdose on it or something!! (unless u alrdy do LOL)

i’ve been doing great as ever, taking my time to relax before i’ve got to get back to that tiring education life again.. 🥲 your blogs has been a good way to pass the time though so a win win for me!! for the blue lock anime last week, episode 10 was surprisingly good considering i was scared shitless of animation budgeting and if they would butcher it, sometimes the cgi makes me giggle but hell i’m such a blue lock supporter that i just move on from all of the questionable moments with the animation!

i’m a sub watcher for all animes (which, i haven’t touched a lot of animes .. if you’re an avid anime watcher, any recs?)

for me, u-20 match was an INSANE ride for me, def my fav and i always reread it in a way, i think everything leading up to it like the 3v3 or 4v4 matches were great too, but u-20 match was hype like no other !! whiichhh brings me to my next point, i need to see more of hiori as his design was just too cute for me to pass up, just the hair and the eyes were so ?!? eye catching imo..

oh jeez and there was this one panel with this blue lock player with the most nicest hair but he just. NEVER APPEARED LMFAOO? i haven’t seen him ever since — don’t even think we got a name

ah jeez i’m SOOOO SORRY if my messages get a bit too long, I HATE JUST RESPONDING INSTEAD OF. CONTINUING A CONVERSATION (if this makes sense?) .. so i tend to ramble ^^’ don’t feel pressured to mirror the length though!! i’d be heading off to bed as i send this message in, so this is sort of my goodnight :P - 💌

OH GOD THE OTHERS-

-this will be a dead give a way to some of my very very old followers who've accidentally re found me after I achieved my last blog and took a long hiatus. I have very specific...qualities...to a lot of them that overlap...

in order from top left to right; Kurono Yuichiro (Fire Force absolute love of my life and a near 1:1 character match to Ego honestly), Hanma Shuji (TokyoRev), Sir Nighteye (MHA), Asagiri Gen (Dr Stone), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ginoza Nobuchika (Psycho Pass) ...three out of the six are played by the same English VA so you could say I have a type 😂

To be fair my other categories for favs are literally all copy and print similar too. My "These are my babies I'm breastfeeding them and enabling them" favs are near identical copies in every anime I watch 😂 then the third less talked about group...the dreaded libra group 😒

SOMETIMES YOU JUST WRITE WITH YOUR PUSSY AND NOT YOUR BRAIN AND THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THIS STUPID NIKO FIC THAT'S GOING WELL OVER SIX PAGES FOR NO STUPID REASON BESIDES THE PUSSY DESERVES IT UGH

ok but to gush a moment before forgetting the Ego during the U-20 match...that panel!!! Oh god that panel!!! Of him telling Isagi that what happened to him and his career didn't matter, that he was fine to be blacklisted from the sport he loved bc he assured all 22 of them had a career in soccer after this game, win or loose, OH GOD THAT PART. I will literally fist fight anyone at this point who wants to shit talk Ego and say he "doesn't care" bc that man was ready to throw away his livelihood for them to succeed on a world stage in the sport they love. Man's got protective dilf energy and I'm giving him a child this uterus is open for business rn

Niko is....Ok I'm blaming it on his VA actually (sorry I watch dubbed I just literally can't focus on subbed) and his English VA is a well known one but did a creepy high pitched voice with it and I mean I'm willingly fucking Ego like I'm advertising I'll kiss that weird man's ankles but Niko- Niko is just too fucking weird for me. But apparently the pussy wants to challenge that bc fuck me with a six plus page story over god damn nipples! Niko is still....too ugly for me RIP

My time zone is fucked at the butt end of everything so I am WAY use to being the last one up and last one to go to bed in every fandom I've ever been in 🤣 Learned that as a teen when literally no one was ever awake when I was RIP. But yes I'm a chronic coffee drinker I've always have been the bean it calls to me I must have it (given I don't drink enough to like NEED it or get a headache I just enjoy the taste but love tea too) Drank it thru my pregnancy and drank it breastfeeding no one's pulling the beautiful bean from my mouth. Love me a good tea though I won't deny good green, black and other teas hit different. Just no herbal shit stuff makes me wretch istg

Glad to hear I started this blog in good timing then! Ain't nothing like relaxing with some good pegging when you're trying to forget that book bullshit 💅 And honestly even though I picked up the manga right after like episode two (needed Ego I wasn't waiting lololol) I've been very happy with the animation cuz like the manga is illegally beautiful. Holy shit is the manga just so well done and the drawings are top tier throughout the entire thing (coming from tokyorev and jujutsu god I miss manga artists that don't just scribble on things like a coke addict) Questionable animation or not they keep slut drawing Ego's hands so damn fine and that man's watch I'll forgive any animation doozie long as my weird looking stick man looks fine as hell

I don't watch sub (I just can't take in the actual show and read plus I got a mad voice kink so....dubbed it is for me) But I've watch a fair share of anime. Don't really watch it for like...the sake of just watching anime (prefer western cartoons a little more) but I've watched some really good ones though. First on the list, Fire Force. I've single handedly convinced like two dozen people to watch this. It's my favorite of all time and will be tattooing the weird looking man in the collage on my body at some point bc of how much I love that series. Mob Psycho 100 is amazing as always for so many reasons and it has a bit of everything for everyone. The Case Study of Vanitas was better than it was aloud to be and I hate vampires. Dr. Stone fucking nerdy funny and entertaining. Psycho Pass is a good like murder mystery book. Sonny Boy and Space Dandy done by the same studio and will make you question your existence. Kekkaishi is old but still one of my favorites ever. And Blue Exoricst I wrote a 60+ chapter fan fic on it for a reason and its still going strong and written by a woman! Don't know about any of their sub versions but their stories and characters are so good they're worth it.

That entire block from the five round selection to the U-20 game was just- Fucking illegally good for a sports anime?? A sports anime for crying out loud?? Even the way they introduce so many new characters is so smooth and not even clunky and you genuinely take an interest in everyone even if you only see them for one game?? Hiori is cute...a little more feral than I expected when we first saw him being cute with Isagi and Nanase. But Hiori, Otoya, Karasu and Kurona haven't like wowed me yet. I'm invested but I'm still going real fucking soft on Yukimiya right now like. God. The eye thing. LET ME BABY YOU AND HAVE THAT SAD MAN. God he's gonna be so fucking pretty when he's animated I'm screaming already

Was that the panel of the dude with Gagamaru and Raichi? The one that's shown on the blue lock screen but we never have an actual manga cap of him?

PLS DON'T APOLOGIZE I TALK TOO MUCH I WAS A HAIRDRESSER FOR FIVE YEARS I TALK WAY TOO MUCH PLS NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR TALKING TO MUCH AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL I'M SORRY I'M THE ONE RAMBLE. PLS HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY SINCE WE'RE OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE SUNNY TIME. RAMBLE ALL YOU WANT I ADORE IT <3

[caught-in-the-filter]

Smutty CS notion: sweet duckling Princess Emma stumbles on Dark Hook and is too intrigued for her own good...there are some things she just won’t tell Queen Snow 😉

Chasing a Shadow (Chasing a High) - Chapter 1

A/N:Thank you so much for the prompt @karlyfr13s! There is never enough Dark Hook Duckling. 😏 I hope you like it! 😘❤️ Huge thank you to @veryverynotgoodwrites for beta-ing and being awesome. ❤️ And thank you to everyone on the CSMM Discord for all your support! ❤️

Rated: E; Words (Ch1): 3856; AO3 tumblr.: Ch1, Ch2

——

Emma knew how to handle herself. As the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, who’d since become the ruling queen and king, she’d been well-trained in several ways by which to defend herself and protect the citizens of their kingdom. She could use a bow and arrow, was very skilled with a sword, and knew how to travel amongst others undetected. Whenever she’d asked to venture into the town, her parents were usually agreeable to it.

They didn’t know, however, about the dark figure in whom she’d taken an interest on her last few visits. Curiosity bubbled inside her while she watched him from afar as he swiftly moved through the crowd, the hood of his cloak concealing his face as he rounded a corner and vanished from her sight.

It became a little game she played with herself—finding him, trying to catch a glimpse of the man beneath the shadows, almost copying his swagger as she followed him. She wanted to know where he disappeared to every day as the sun set.

Her desire for answers made her bolder than she’d ever been, determination fueling her next moves.

Emma tracked the mysterious figure to a seedy street a few towns over, sparsely lined with lamps which mostly remained unlit as the day gave way to nightfall, and she found herself squinting in the darkness as she lost sight of the man again.

“A bit far from home, aren’t we, lass?”

Emma jumped at the sound of the sultry voice and turned to face its source. Her eyes widened as she got a good look at the cloaked man for the first time. Dark wisps of hair covered his forehead, and matching scruff decorated his chin, with equally dark kohl setting off his deep blue eyes and making them look that much more wild. An intriguing scar had long since healed on his cheek, and despite it, she couldn’t explain the sudden ache she felt as she scanned his features. He was rather attractive, she had to admit, save for the threat of the sharp metal hook whose tip he held at her throat as he backed her to a wall, the sudden contact of cold stone taking her by surprise. (In all honesty, though, that intrigued her too, the moonlight dancing across its surface as it sent a chill of some sort coursing through her.)

“What is it, love?” he sneered. “Are you here to make a deal or to try to kill me?” He glanced down at her scabbard and loosened it with his hand, shoving it to the ground with a clatter. “Either way, you’re in so far over your head.”

“Please,” Emma croaked, her throat suddenly dry, though from what she wasn’t quite sure. It wasn’t exactly fear, she knew that much. “Neither. I just—”

“Ahh,” he gave her a devilish grin, “or perhaps you’re after something else entirely.” His hand snuck beneath her bodice and seared her skin as he slid it up her side. “Does the thought of the big, bad Dark One turn you on?” He leaned the curve of his hook against the wall over her shoulder and hovered his face just above where it had been, inhaling sharply along her neck and humming against the shell of her ear, making her legs tremble beneath her as they suddenly grew weak. “Ohh, you don’t know what you’ve just gotten yourself into, then,” he growled, “Princess.”

The Dark One?!

“W-wait—” she pleaded because she knew she should. Panted, really. He already had her breathless as his mouth explored what little skin was left exposed by her modest outfit, while his hand found her laces and worked to reveal more of it to him. “I didn’t know….” She’d heard stories of the Dark One that had made her blood run cold, and she knew the danger he presented.

But the man in front of her didn’t quite fit the description that had been passed along in fairy tales, and all she felt now was heat, pooling low in her belly and blossoming on her cheeks and curling her toes.

“You know who I am?” she questioned, not that her identity was exactly a secret, but she thought she’d done well to evade his observation, though she guessed her current circumstances proved otherwise.

“Aye. Why do you think I led you all this way?” he asked, rucking up her skirts as his fingers brushed the back of her knee, encouraging her to lock her leg behind him as he lifted it and caressed her thigh. “I couldn’t very well take you in the middle of your own town for everyone you know to witness.” His eyebrow raised as he added cheekily, “Unless, of course, you’d like that too.”

“I wouldn’t,” she replied quickly, unamused by his soft chuckle.

“But you’d like me to take you here?” he teased, not waiting for an answer. She gasped into his mouth as he slanted it against hers, his tongue inviting itself between her lips and she found it not unwelcome as it drew forth a moan from deep within her in tandem with his thigh as he nudged her legs further apart and nestled it between them. Without a second thought, she rocked her hips, seeking a friction she didn’t know she needed until each pass both soothed and spurred the throbbing she felt in her core.

“Tell me what you desire, Princess,” he coaxed, breath hot over her lips. “I know you’ve been following me for some time. Tell me what you’ve come to crave, and I shall make it happen.”

“And what would I owe in return?” Emma knew any interaction with the Dark One would have unintended consequences.

“For you, love, I’d make an exception. Consider it my patronage to the crown,” he said with a flourishing bow while keeping his thigh pressed between hers. The timbre of his voice dropped much lower as he pressed his forehead to hers and purred, “With or without magic, you’ll come with no price, I assure you.”

Emma knew it was a bad idea, tried to convince herself to push him away, but her hands and hormones betrayed her mind as she pulled him closer, one hand anchored in his hair while the other splayed against his back and travelled lower to grip his ass with a confident playfulness neither of them had expected. She felt the hard bulge rubbing her thigh through his trousers as she continued to ride his leg and cursed without realizing what she was saying.

“My, what a crude vocabulary for a princess,” the Dark One commented, slowly sliding his hand toward the apex of her thighs. “Beneath the yards of intricate fabric, you’re still just a needy little wench, aren’t you?” He sent a jolt along her spine as his fingers passed through her folds and eased between them, working her more gently than his reputation would’ve led her to expect. “You put on airs of piety, in your castle with your guard and your formal address, but your slickness reveals the truth of your primal desire.” He pressed them deeper inside her, adding another and curling them towards himself, and she arched into his touch with a whimper and another string of curses when he continued to repeat the motion. “That’s it, darling. Fuck yourself with my hand. Show me just how desperate you are for me.”

Emma furrowed her brow at his words, unsure of when he’d stilled his hand and let her take over the pace. Her rhythm faltered, and she canted her hips in protest as he removed his hand from her core, only to watch in stunned amazement as he licked her arousal from his fingers one by one, his talented tongue determined to catch every drop.

“Your taste is exquisite, Princess,” he said. “It’s no wonder you stay locked away at most times. If they only knew what they were missing, you’d never be without a caller begging for even the smallest sample of your irresistible sweetness.”

Emma stuttered over unintelligible syllables, biting back words she hadn’t expected to want to say, a vulgar question nagging to be spoken that she wouldn’t dare to voice.

“Yes, love?” The Dark One pressed his chest flush against her, staring into her eyes, his mouth a hair’s breadth away from hers.

“I, umm—” Emma hesitated. The Dark One simply smiled, waiting.

“You’re a bit of an open book, Princess,” he said. “I can read your thoughts, but to get what you want, I need you to say it.”

Not one to back down from a challenge, Emma worked up the courage to ask, “Would—would you like to taste it directly?”

He raised his eyebrow and hummed his assent, his voice a low rumble in his chest as he prodded, “Is that what you would like, love?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then tell me.”

“I want your mouth on me, Dark One,” she pleaded. “I want to feel your tongue inside me.”

“Mmmm, with pleasure,” he growled as he sank to his knees in front of her and ducked beneath her skirts.

The sinful cry that left her lips echoed down the empty street as he made contact with her wet and aching flesh, and Emma was sure someone would hear it and the equally loud moans that followed. Her legs wanted to cave beneath her, instinctively pulling together and pressing tightly around his cheeks as he devoured her, the brush of his scruff burning her skin in the best way. He chuckled without pausing his ministrations and held her thighs apart with the palm of his hand warming one and the flat of his hook cooling the other. She squirmed at the conflicting temperatures, or more likely at the way he licked and sucked in the space between them.

“Still with me, Princess?” he mumbled into her core, muffled by the layers of fabric cinched at her waist that shrouded him. Bracing herself with her arms against the wall, her fingertips dug into the gaps between the stones as he scraped his teeth against her clit and nipped at her sensitive flesh, his tongue plunging inside her as he drank in her arousal.

“Mmhmm,” she sighed unconvincingly, rolling her hips as she chased her high. A building tension overwhelmed her as the Dark One nosed at the swollen bundle of nerves while his tongue relentlessly found a spot that his fingers had only teased. “Oh gods,” she panted, her knuckles turning white as she heavily relied on the wall to keep her upright, losing the support of his hand and hook as they met his mouth in the middle to bring her to the edge.

“You flatter me,” he muttered, the joke lost on her as her head spun dizzily and fell back against the stone, her eyes fluttering closed while her hips bucked into his encouraging grunts as she came hard on his tongue.

The Dark One did well to catch as much of it as he could, opening his mouth beneath her as he thrust his fingers inside her with purpose and let her release pour into it, licking along her folds and sucking on her clit until she at last relaxed into the wall behind her. He lifted her skirts and stood before her once more, looking absolutely wrecked and feral, his chin glistening with her wetness below swollen lips, his hair mussed from static and sweat, his pupils blown wide with a greater hunger they’d yet to sate.

“I so wanted to make you wait for it,” he growled, chest heaving, “to make you wait for your release until I had you on my cock, but you were just too tempting, my dear. I had to taste all of you.”

Emma’s hands reached up to attempt to tame the haphazard locks atop his head but only served to add to the chaos as she clenched fistfuls of it instead when his lips collided with her own. She melted at the heady taste of herself on him and welcomed his full perusal of her mouth. The Dark One moaned eagerly as his tongue teased hers as it had her core, and Emma boldly took his bottom lip between her teeth as she pulled back for just a moment before she rose on her toes to meet him again.

“That’s it, Princess,” he said as they breathed together. “Take what you want.” He nosed along her jaw, nipping at the path until he bit her earlobe. His hook caught on her neckline and he tugged it down, down until he freed her breasts. The cool night air rushed across her newly exposed skin, teasing her nipples until he harshly palmed one breast and thumbed at the stiffening peak as he asked, “What do you want?”

“I want—” she could barely breathe, let alone think enough to speak. But then, she really didn’t need to think at all, only feel, to feel something more and then keep feeling it until she crashed all over again. “I want your cock, Dark One. Give me your cock.”

“Good girl,” he purred into her ear as he unlaced his trousers and lifted her skirts in the crook of his hook. His hand departed from her breast only long enough to align himself with her entrance and press inside with one steady roll of his hips as his teeth sank into her shoulder.

Emma cried out at the pleasurable pain of his bite and the stretch of his cock, clutching at his back for any sort of hold, finding purchase in the material of his cloak.

The Dark One’s fingers returned to their task of kneading her flesh as his tongue worked to soothe the purpling spot onto which his mouth had latched, and he began to move inside her with deep thrusts that left her almost empty before filling her completely each time.

“Gods, you’re so fucking tight, Princess,” he praised. “Tight and wet and fucking perfect. All for me.”

The small, encouraging sounds she made with every slide echoed the muted slap of his balls against her wet skin, the Dark One’s hungry moans finding their own sort of syncopated rhythm as he kissed along her collarbone and licked at the hollow of her throat before meeting her mouth again.

“Oh, how I’d love to taste every inch of you,” the Dark One groaned against her lips, “to watch your body quiver as I run my tongue all over your skin.” He dipped his head to trail his breath down her chest and suck at her nipple before releasing it with a soft pop. “But alas, we’ve not the time nor is it the place, and there’s a much more pressing matter for us both.”

Emma felt that tension building inside herself again as he devoured her mouth once more, massaged her breasts relentlessly, and slammed into her aching core. His words affected her more than she thought they could, and she writhed against the wall as she moved with him in an effort to bring them both to completion. She could tell he felt it too as the cords in his neck tensed and the force of his hips increased.

“Where do you want it, love?” he asked, his voice little more than a whisper this time as the words caught in his throat.

“Ins—inside me,” she choked between whimpers. “I want to feel it inside me, Dark One. Please come inside me.”

“Fuck, Princess, you are a naughty minx.” His thrusts grew rougher, more frantic as he began to lose the last of his resolve. “As you wish, my darling.”

While she thought he was already as impossibly deep as he could go, the Dark One adjusted his angle so that his legs would give him a stronger foundation as he pistoned his hips with abandon. The change sent her reeling, and she struggled to hold on as the corners of her vision blurred from his merciless snaps.

“Are you with me, Princess?” He breathed.

“Mmhmm,” Emma answered as before, though she knew it wasn’t quite true. Her mind travelled to the edge of another blissful plane, and her body was kept from physically falling only by his pinning hers to the wall.

“No, I mean, are you with me, love?” the Dark One clarified. “I’m so fucking close, sweetheart. Are you with me?”

“Y-yes.”

“Good.” His hand slid its way up to her throat, taking a loose but firm hold. This time Emma did feel just a touch of fear, wondering how far the darkness would go to get him where he wanted to be, but it soon turned to further desire as the Dark One only tightened his grip enough to make her gasp as she relaxed in a mildly lightheaded haze. “Come for me, Princess. Come right on my cock as I fill you with my seed, you naughty thing.”

It did something to her, the way he continually mixed formalities with such vulgarity in equally sultry tones and with an eloquence that made her wonder for a brief moment why there would be any other way to speak when his speech alone could make her feel so good.

Emma’s legs began to quake beneath her when he passed the curve of his hook over her clit in deliberate circles and reminded her that she didn’t have to rely on just his voice to find her release, for which she was most grateful.

The Dark One stifled their moans of pleasure with a passionate kiss, plunging his tongue as deep as his cock as his hips stuttered and stilled and he spilled himself inside her. Their chests heaved as they rested their foreheads together and panted over each other’s lips, attempting to catch their breaths and waiting for their limbs to feel solidified again before daring to move.

“That was wonderful, darling. And I’ll be expecting some… other reciprocation with this pretty little mouth of yours next time,” the Dark One smirked. With a snap of his fingers, he righted himself, leaving her already missing the feel of his cock as his trousers laced themselves.

“Next time? I thought you said I’d come at no price,” she teased, wrapping her fingers around his hook and running them back and forth along the curve.

“That I did. And I didn’t lie, you’ve nothing to repay me.” He took the time to manually fix her bodice, every brush of his fingers lighting little fires across her skin, his effort with the ties as hot as the rest of their prior interactions. “But you withheld the truth from me of just how good of a fuck you are, Princess. You can’t honestly say this was a one-time thing.”

Emma hummed and placed her other hand on his chest as she challenged, “And what if I do?”

“Then I’d hope you’d kindly get on your knees for me right now, and I would assure you that whatever ungodly hour you arrive home will have been worth it.”

Emma’s gaze flicked from his eyes to his mouth and back as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

“As tempting as that sounds,” she said with a smile, genuinely interested in finding out how he tastes and curious to see just how weak she could make the all-powerful Dark One in the process. But she knew she shouldn’t have gone this far to begin with, and fearing the consequences of further pursuit of whatever this was with him, she responded, “I need to get back before my extended absence is noticed, unless you want to deal with the army of guards my parents would send after you if they somehow found out you’ve ‘ruined’ me.”

“‘Ruined’ you?” His eyebrow raised as he scoffed, “Oh love, your innocence was clearly gone long before tonight. We both know you knew what you were after when you followed me here, and you certainly knew what you were doing when you got it.” His voice became darker, almost threatening when he added, “And I can handle the guards.”

“We might know that, but they sure as hell don’t, and I intend to keep it that way.” Emma sighed. “And I know you can handle them, that’s what I’m afraid of. It’s not for your sake but for theirs.” That earned a sarcastically begrudging eye roll from him.

Emma ducked and slipped away from him, picking up her scabbard as she did, and he spun on his heel as he watched her slowly step backward, beyond his reach.

“Goodbye, Dark One,” she said.

“I’m not unwilling to fight for what I want. Don’t think I’m letting you go this easily.”

“I would despair if you did.” Emma took another backward step before turning and taking off in the direction of her castle.

“Goodbye, Princess,” the Dark One called after her, or thought he called, his voice softer than he’d realized or intended as he watched her leave and got lost in the thought of his release still inside her.

It was all Emma could think about too, knowing it was driving him just as mad and grinning to herself at the fact that she could get to him. She could feel the way it dripped down her thighs as she moved. She could feel the way it dried sticky on her skin as she allowed it to remain there longer than she probably should have.

And she could feel it later as she further explored herself when she finally reunited with her bed and imagined what else he might do to her if given the chance, and what she could do to him, the scent of his pleasure mixing with that of her own arousal as they blended on her desperate fingers, which would have to suffice until she could find him again. She bit back moans and struggled to refrain from calling out his infamous moniker as her head fell back with the fresh memory of his mouth on her neck and the promise that she would feel it everywhere else.

Oh yes. Yes.

Yes, she would absolutely have to see him again, somewhere that would allow them a bit more freedom, the potential danger of granting that to him only adding to the thrill of it all.

Recalling his request, she brought her wet fingers to her lips and tested herself to see what she could handle, learning how much could fit and how deeply and for how long before she’d need a break. Just the hint of him on them encouraged her to try more, deeper, longer, as her other hand matched the pace inside her core and her thumb flicked at her clit.

She’d find an excuse for why she’d need to clean her own sheets tomorrow.

As Emma at last relaxed into the mattress, she drifted into dreams of what might be in store for the two of them. There are some things she would never tell her parents, and fucking the Dark One again and again would just have to be one of them.

——

Tag list ❤️: @donteattheappleshook @elizabeethan @hollyethecurious @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @jonesfandomfanatic @jrob64 @klynn-stormz @kmomof4 @qualitycoffeethings @stahlop @teamhook @the-darkdragonfly @thejollyroger-writer @tiganasummertree @xsajx @wefoundloveunderthelight @zaharadessert

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[longsightmyth]

So no review per se but here are a hella lot of status updates under the cut:

March 16, 2016 –  3.0% "I'm not sure how I feel about this season divide country thing but we'll see"

March 18, 2016 –  24.0% "See, I thought they were meeting in a town or city, which would be hard enough to find someone in, but the instructions were apparently 'meet me in a country'"

March 18, 2016 –  25.0% "Yes it DOES explain the oath. You don't need to explain that to us, we get it."

March 22, 2016 –  28.0% "Idk if the book wanted me to think that the government is terrible and everything with the question about whether the maids always obey the king's orders (which... Yes? That is actually their job?) but when a pretty low-ranking guest's lady's maid talks like Rose is talking like she is, it isn't successful."

March 22, 2016 –  29.0% "Not that outspoken servants cannot still be oppressed servants, but the general attitude does not point in that direction (also, still am not fond of New Meira)"

March 25, 2016 –  29.0% "Bets on Meira being a swapped out baby queen."

March 25, 2016 –  31.0% "MORE instalove? Isn't one a book enough?"

March 25, 2016 –  33.0% "Oh no a king is thinking of politics and the wellbeing of his kingdom. What calumny. What horror. (I can understand MEIRA being upset, I can, she had no warning whatsoever, but the book is trying to make me think Noam is evil, and so far I have evidence only of the opposite.)"

March 25, 2016 –  34.0% "A king just doesn't want to throw his kingdom into a war and you automatically assume he had something to do with the death of his wife. Because that totally makes sense...?"

March 25, 2016 –  34.0% "Okay maybe Meira isn't the Secret Queen. Which begs the question of WHY she's important enough to hand off in a political alliance marriage. I mean, king's foster sister is a perfectly respectable and important relation usually, but since literally nobody knows anything about her parentage or if she'd be a reasonably competent queen it makes no sense that Noam wants her to marry his son so badly."

March 30, 2016 –  34.0% "Okay book I just finished The Winner's Kiss so you had better up your game, this bullshit threatening of kings with nothing to back it up isn't going to fly."

March 30, 2016 –  35.0% "Also you appear to have used a name I gave one of my ocs in my lotr fanfic. Obviously only to hurt me."

March 30, 2016 –  38.0% "Seriously wtf is with the complete personality swap I cannot get over it"

March 30, 2016 –  39.0% "Book, you tried hard to tell me that women who like pretty things are just as cool as women who like sharp pointy stabby things, but every time Meira talks about ladies or pretty things she is SUPER scornful and I don't see anything to contradict her. You realize noble ladies find power even when they aren't given it overtly right?"

March 31, 2016 –  44.0% "There's nothing INCREDIBLY wrong with this section - at least nothing I can pin down - but all of this seems really overdramatic, and the love interests don't have enough character for me to say whether or not the supremely stupid display of toxic masculinity was in character or not. Also that fight was particularly silly."

March 31, 2016 –  45.0% "Hang on, still confused about magic access. The only places to get magic are the season kingdoms, but the rhythm kingdoms have magic conduits too? Do they have to pay a fee to go recharge them or something, or have I missed some key point of magic use?"

March 31, 2016 –  46.0% "Wait, how did Winter have food if it was always winter? Did everyone live off evergreens? What about the animals? Was there a thriving greenhouse agricultural system? These are things I want answered."

March 31, 2016 –  46.0% "In the words of Meira herself: Sweet snow! Is she going to learn that protocol isn't useless and being in a position of power might actually help?!"

March 31, 2016 –  46.0% "What, Cordell can't spring for a tutor for their queen-to-be, she has to go to a classroom?"

March 31, 2016 –  47.0% "Wait wait wait you can MINE magic? Why the fuck hang everyone been doing it?!"

March 31, 2016 –  47.0% "Like, I get that it's apparently super deep down, but guys. Magic. Everybody wants more of it, and even if it's hard to get to you have the means to do it. And I haven't seen that this is a Balrog situation either."

March 31, 2016 –  50.0% "Honestly I think the dialogue wouldn't bother me so much if there weren't so many dramatic whispers and things. 'Said' is not a bad word, no matter how many creative writing teachers try to tell you otherwise."

April 1, 2016 –  51.0% "Are. Are there no guards on a king's study? The king's chambers? Even I he isn't there important shit is, as evidenced by what Meira just found! WHAT IS WITH GUARDS IN YA LITERATURE?!"

April 1, 2016 –  51.0% "Do all YA guards go to the same crappy guard school or something?!"

April 1, 2016 –  52.0% "Oh for heaven's sake. A king's foster sister without titles of her own would be a powerful political asset in that the King would (theoretically) care for her, or at least care for his reputation as a person who takes care of those close to him, so you forge an alliance based on that. She wouldn't give anyone any rights over her foster sibling's country, because she's a foster sibling with no title."

April 1, 2016 –  52.0% "There is no way that having Theron marry her would give anyone any sort of authority."

April 1, 2016 –  52.0% "Aside from that, Noam playing all sides of the board is pretty clever and sometimes what rulers have to do to keep their people safe from an apparently magical apparently tyrannical dickface."

April 1, 2016 –  53.0% "For a bunch of people convinced that Noam acts in whatever way is politically expedient for the wellbeing of his country (and also that doing so makes him evil) these people seem awfully surprised that Noam is acting in whatever way is politically expedient for the wellbeing of his country."

April 1, 2016 –  53.0% ""Spring is here. In Cordell." (Meaning spring the country). Well gosh. Would've been great if somebody had FORGED AN ALLIANCE WITH THEM. (Though actually, Noam, you made copies of your top secret correspondence? Really?)"

April 1, 2016 –  54.0% "Sure, six folks against an army, why not. If the soldiers are trained as shoddily as all the guards it makes total sense."

April 1, 2016 –  54.0% ""Let's go jeopardize our entire planned alliance by getting the principle members killed! Sound good? Cool." WHAT IS WITH THESE PEOPLE."

April 1, 2016 –  55.0% "Oh look our evil king puts all his magic into agriculture, otherwise known as HELPING HIS PEOPLE EAT. What true tyranny! (Seriously though how did Winterians get food if their queen put all her magic into mining I need to know. Did they adapt to eat rocks or something? Eating is srs bsns, book)"

April 1, 2016 –  56.0% ""Noam truly believes he was doing us a favor?" I mean. He kind of was. It's not everybody who looks at a group of eight refugees and goes 'sure, let my son marry the king's untitled foster sister and I'll help you reclaim your kingdom'."

April 1, 2016 –  56.0% ""You brought them here! When you started writing that letter..." Y'all do realize that there was a public announcement and ball for the engagement of the heir to the throne and a Winterian, right. Like, Mather was announced as the King of Winter. Does. Does nobody but me remember this? Did you think nobody heard about it?"

April 1, 2016 –  57.0% "Did you just send the heirless King of your exiled country into battle. Did you. Yes you did, because everyone in this book except Noam is completely incompetent when it comes to strategy, and even he has his moments."

April 1, 2016 –  58.0% "How are those cannons moving so quickly?"

April 1, 2016 –  58.0% "HELMETS ARE NOT JUST FOR DISGUISE THEY SERVE A VITAL PROTECTIVE FUNCTION IN THAT THEY PROTECT YOUR HEAD OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU JUST TAKE THE HELMET OFF JUST BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE JESUS CHRIST WHY WOULDN'T HE TELL YOU TO PUT IT BACK ON I HATE EVERYTHING YOU ARE IN THE MIDST OF MEDIEVAL ISH MAGIC BATTLE JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE CANONS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CANT PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST THE ARROWS OH MY GOD"

April 1, 2016 –  64.0% "That part (with Meira actually appearing to care about the enslaved Winterians when she sees them, and not just us being told she cares) was actually pretty good."

April 1, 2016 –  72.0% "Credit where credit is due - this just improved by leaps and bounds, not least by Meira starting to wonder if she has in fact been something of a brat."

April 1, 2016 –  74.0% "EXPONENTIALLY better"

April 1, 2016 –  76.0% "Okay book, you're getting better and all, and this isn't exclusive to you, but where did this idea that not screaming meant strength come from? Like, not screaming while in pain can be a statement or a way to not bother other people in dire situations, but not screaming when you're being whipped doesn't automatically mean strength okay."

April 1, 2016 –  76.0% "Okay book she has to get water eventually or she's going to literally die unless Winterian body processes are different from other humans. Which, I guess, would explain how they didn't need to grow food in a land of eternal ice and snow. But if she's human like the rest of us she's going to die if she constantly does heavy lifting and carrying without any water except breakfast and dinner. She's going to die QUICKLY."

April 1, 2016 –  78.0% "I admit that I am not an expert on metal, but I'm almost positive that an old belt buckle is not even serviceable knife material without a forge and some tempering."

April 1, 2016 –  80.0% "Dammit Meira."

April 1, 2016 –  80.0% "I'd like to refer you to my status at 29 percent and note for the record that I'm only refraining from gloating because it was so obvious."

April 1, 2016 –  87.0% ""The only thing that saved us was our magically exhaustible magical conduit that has to recharge, so my father didn't retaliate against the giant magical army that nearly killed us all. Obviously this means he's terrible." Book, do you ducking hear yourself."

April 1, 2016 –  88.0% "Book. Are you putting in a rape attempt in front of her love interest. Is this a thing I am reading in the year of our lord 2016."

April 1, 2016 –  88.0% "Book. Are you putting in a rape attempt in front of her love interest. Is this a thing I am reading in the year of our lord 2016."

April 1, 2016 –  88.0% ""There are no other weapons near me, no chairs I am break or vases I can throw" you know what, book, I am tired of theoretically weapon-and-fighting-competent chicks being like 'whoa is me there are no weapons' this is when your feet and fists and teeth and head come into play, you have been literally trained to murder people come on now. (Don't get me started on fixations on fancy weaponry)"

April 1, 2016 –  93.0% "'Exotic grace' when referring to the only people of color so far? Come on, book, get your shit together."

April 1, 2016 –  96.0% ""We'll need to barter rations from Cordell." Have you always done that or is this only because of the defeat of Angra? TELL ME."

April 1, 2016 –  97.0% "Really Noam you AND your heir rode into an unknown situation in a different country? I expected better of you, sir."

April 1, 2016 –  98.0% "Is Meira going to be forever follows by the ghost of her mom in a literal sense? Why have we seen no other ghosts? (Also, please stop with the gasping)" 

[zerohour1974]

The Grumpy Git Returns 2

Why is the Tech world so fundamentally broken?

Hello readers I’m back after a major hiatus.  What on earth is going on in the world of technology.  It’s all going to hell.

You might think what the hell am I on about.  It seems things in the industry are completely broken and for all the complaints out there no one seems to do anything about it.

Here are just a few examples...

1) Apple releases Mac Pro with a basic price tag of £5000

What on earth, I would understand such a price point if this was an amazing all singing all dancing machine, but its not.  The basic system is an i5 system.  Seriously then everything else can be upgraded by Apple or exclusive dealers or it invalidates your warranty and the machine locks you out using the T2 security chip.

Now Apple have been on shaky ground regarding tech for a number of years which problems such as lowering sales of iPhones because by the time they release them they have already been superseded by the competition.

Apple used to be seen as the innovative company of the world, the kings of aesthetic and cool.  Now even the hipsters of the world are thinking Apple products are too expensive and not really giving much to the world.

It doesn’t help that every MacOS version is now more like iOS and they are locking you further and further into the Apple Garden.  What i mean by that is blocking anything that is not in the Apple Play Store, not supporting hardware (Nvidia graphics cards, Wi-Fi etc.) and now preventing upgrades.  Which is alienating their customers...

No one is going to buy the Mac Pro one because the price is ludicrous.  Two everyone is speculating Apple is going to change to using ARM processors so the whole system is probably about to change.   People got bitten with PPC, only for Apple to switch to Intel and abandon PPC.  So they will not get away with it twice.

Apple admit too being a $1 trillion company but how long will it last considering you are further and further alienating your own customers.    Now don’t get me wrong there will always be a hardcore group of loyal Apple consumers, but you have to wonder is it enough to keep Apple where it stands.

Personally given their listed losses it looks like the bubble is starting to burst.  But equally getting back to the point who seriously believed a £5000 desktop would be seen and thought wow that’s a good idea.  The mind boggles.

A lot of people are now building Hackintosh machines because one its cheaper to do so and two for less money you probably get more power than the Mac Pro.  Crazy.

2) Software companies putting out totally broken games as full releases at full price.

This one is pretty obvious I can site many examples her but of course probably the biggest known was of course Bethesda’s Fallout 76.  Now I’m not going to reiterate its story there has been plenty of coverage about it on YouTube.

Now before anyone starts yes I accept there is Early Access programs on Steam and the likes but they at least admit up front that the item you are purchasing is not the final game and may be subject to change.

However we are seeing more and more companies putting out games that require huge day one updates of several gigabytes.  DLC breaking game elements in major ways and live services either not working or not being able to cope with the loads.

Now I admit I am not a programmer and maybe someone who is in the game will be able to shed a better light, but it seems these major corporations such as EA, Ubisoft, Activision Blizzard and more are making millions off the backs of programmers who are expected to deliver higher and higher standard stuff in less and less time.

These guys are being forced into working extraneous “crunch” hours being put under immense stress and not really seeing much in the way of benefits.  They seem to take a lot of abuse if the programmer refuses.

2019 showed many cases of ex-employees reporting abuse.  Now I know some could be put down to sour grapes but there is a lot to be said about there is no smoke without fire.

It seems many programmers are complaining about their immense pressure to perform.  As I said I’m not a programmer so I can’t really say I know.  They seem to have no representation in their corner to help them such a union and because a lot of them are freelance many corporations see them as disposable.

This to me is ludicrous.  Without these programmers most of these corporations would not have a product to sell and equally wouldn’t exist.  So why treat them like dirt, you are cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Also for all things like Fallout 76 proved for all they released a half arsed game and took controversy.  Not once has someone said that this practice is unacceptable.

If you bought a Television and when you turned it on it showed BBC1 and BBC2 only and the rest was coming later in a software patch update.  You would complain vehemently and take back the television for your money back.

So why can software companies get away with releasing a half finished product.... Which moves us on to...

3) New Linux phones been released unfinished

Linux phones are the latest and “greatest” thing since sliced bread if you believed the hype.  Security conscious phones that don’t report everything about you, kill switches to disable base bands so you can’t be monitored at all times and of course its Linux based so the operating system is free.

All sounds good and hence why Purism Librem 5 and the Pine phone both have had a major interest shown in them.

Given all the concerns raised recently regarding Google and how it uses its data and problems such as the many data leaks of various sites.  Privacy regarding your data is being raised.

Ironically Microsoft who have admitted they are having Windows 10 report back data are not in these investigations.  But hey ho.

However its not the fact its Linux that’s a problem for me.  I like Linux but what i don’t get is this new concept of the phone is taking longer than we thought and people are worried.  SO what we will do is supply you your phone but most of the software doesn’t work but in the next few months we will implement various features to get it working.

They even give them titles such as the Pine Phone Braveheart Edition or the Librem 5 Spring.  Basically a broken p[hone which you have paid money for hoping that eventually it may work.

Once again these phones are hardly cutting edge so even if they do get it working.  Half of the tech is at least a generation back.

Now I understand creating a phone and its OS from scratch is hard work     and such processed take time.  However giving you a shell of a phone and leaving you to wait for the rest is a bit much.

This is similar to the TV but in this case because Linux is open source.  Your TV now only has two channels and they want you to write the next bit of the code to sort the programs out.  They say it’s a learning experience.

I’m waiting for someone to build a house and then if you want any windows, heating or electric you have to have to either build it yourself or wait for an upgrade.  Madness.

4) Live services...

When I started in computing my first machine was a ZX Spectrum 48K it wasn’t amazing but it was a computer.  You bought games, you could program it and it was yours to do with as you pleased.

Modern day systems both in the computing world and console world you are signed into agreements that no matter what the machine is.  The code involved is the property of X company and although you physically own the machine you can not amend it, alter it,  complain about it or they can withdraw your rights to said systems and lock you out.

What? I own a machine but if I do anything beyond your limitations you will sue me.  How did this become a thing.

It was bad enough with Intellectual Copyright bullshit but this is getting ludicrous.

They have since took it one step further in games now several of them will not allow you to play them unless permanently connected to their servers or pay an ongoing subscription fee.

Which equally they can close at a moments notice because they decide they don’t like it and you have no recompense.  How many games have we heard have been just abandoned by their publishers.

Especially in the MMORPG genre.  Games are no longer purchased like tapes with physical medium as now most are download codes in physical cases.  If you actually get a physical DVD you are lucky.

However it doesn’t mean squat if you buy the game and the servers no longer exist.  Several games have managed to allow people to have their own private servers but many of them don’t exist.

How is this allowed to exist.  How are the computer industry allowed to sell products which have no guarantee.  Also why is no one questioning this...

If Valve decide enough was enough, they were sick of being blamed for the controversial games been stuck on its site by asset flippers etc., and decided to close down the service.

Sure they would have to give people notice but beyond that they have no obligation to make sure you have access to the games you bought.  This to me seems a dodgy game.

And with more services such as the Epic Games Store, UPlay, Origin,  and Google Stadia this is only going to get worse.

We need some form of legislation to prevent this from happening.  We are losing more and more data everyday on the internet due to leaks, server closures and companies just going out of business.  Very little of this software and data is being archived so is lost.

This is a problem.  Now I understand people saying it’s my game. But equally you have been paid for said game and now they are saying we cant use it or access it.

Something is fundamentally wrong here.

I could go on with further points such as large corporations closing Software Studios making games and complaining they sold 7 million copies and didn’t sell 10 million copies. Major tech companies refusing to pay taxes but want tax breaks from major governments but that can be the topic for another day.

As I said the tech world is fundamentally broken and needs a shake up.  Why are we paying the price for their inability to sort out their problems.

Until next time ...

[tumblunni]

While Nintendo IS overzealous against the Rom Sites, lets not pretend that the Rom Sites are 100% guilt free heroes: some of them DID host Roms of the stuff Nintendo still actively distribute like 3DS games. There is a massive difference between hosting games that are rare/unlikely to resold/too pricey to buy and hosting games that are common/easy to buy. The problem is that Nintendo is attacking BOTH with the same zeal. Plus Nintendo needs to understand that not all people just want free games.

I dunno why you’re messaging this to me instead of the OP of that post, tho? Especially since I literally never said any of that? Like umm I completely agree with the fact that pirating games you could easily buy is bullshit, I never said it wasnt. Nobody arguing for emuparadise said this, as far as I know. It’s 100% “that was goddamn overzealous, you’re attacking both with the same zeal”.

Tho I have downloaded roms of modern games before, but only when its a game I already own and I just wanted a form of it that I could record for lets plays, cos capture cards are super expensive and there’s no shops as far as I know that do it for a european 3DS. Also sometimes have downloaded roms cos i wanna make rom hacks or just open them up and look at how they work to learn new things about my favourite series! Like there’s stuff like Boundary Break and The Cutting Room Floor who find unused content and interesting details that would otherwise have gone unseen. And TCRF paid loads to snag a rare pokemon beta rom cartridge off ebay and had hundreds of people working non stop to unpack it IMMEDIATELY and even translate all the japanese! This was content that would have never been seen by ANYONE if not for emulation communities!

Also like.. sometimes people do bootleg games without necessarily having evil motives. Like sometimes when i was really poor I made stupid decisions and downloaded bootleg roms of games that i couldnt afford. When I grew up and understood more about how wrong it was, I stopped! My dad was a really nasty bastard and he always used to rent games from blockbuster and then rip the roms or burn the discs to use on a chipped playstation, then just return them immediately and get a full game for £3. That was how we got ALL our games as kids, I was raised in that sort of stupid environment and those are definately the kind of rom-users that I don’t support.

But like still.. sometimes.. downloading like one rom when you’re legit broke is maybe not so evil. Whenever I did that during my one year in and out of homelessness, i always used to treat it like an “unofficial demo” and like.. impose limits on myself so i wouldnt allow myself to play the whole game and steal the whole experience. It was just ‘i cant afford it right now, i will try the first level and see if i want to buy it. And then I will buy it.’My rule is “if you ever pirated a thing, you have to buy it when you get the chance”. I spent the next few years just buying physical copies of all of those games/films, even the ones I didnt like! I used rom versions of RPGmaker for years and then as soon as i had a better financial situation I bought the newest most expensive version and three more copies for all of my friends! And like in the case of games that are out of print now but werent out of print when I pirated them, I’ll buy a bunch of other stuff that the company made in order to support them.

SO YEAH, Bunni’s Personal Rules of Roms!

* If you already own a legit copy of the game, you are allowed to download a rom of it. You already paid for it, after all.* If the game is impossible to buy anymore and roms are the only way to play it, there is nothing wrong with that rom.* Fan translations are in the same category, If it can’t be bought in your country then you really have no other choice if you want to play it. And from experience, whenever these games finally get dubbed years later they get a huge amount of sales from everyone who played the fan translation! Like i still cannot believe they finally released Princess Maker in english like 15 years after the original DOS version?? The official translation was really grammatically bad but i was still so happy to be able to support the official company!* Rom hacking is fun and cool and do lots of it, yes. Its a fan work and it comes from people’s love of the game! But still please only do it if you own a legit copy of the original game!* If you’re too broke to get a game and you’re being tempted to use a rom, treat it like a “demo”. You can play it now but you have to buy it when you do have the money! If you really love this game you’ll want to support the creator, yo! No matter how long it takes! It took me like five years to be able to finally buy rpgmaker and god damn it was satisfying to finally get that off my conscience, lol* Tho if the game’s creator is some sort of absolute fucknozzle that you dont want to support with your money, then its potentially arguable that it’s okay to use a rom. But trying to get a preowned copy or watching a lets play is still better! Also like don’t do this unless its a REALLY justifiable cause. Like not just “i dont like this guy” but “there is actual proof he has made holocaust denying tweets/used his fame to advocate for gay conversion therapy/taken nude photos of his coworkers/embezzled money to make the game/etc”.* Roms of demos or preview discs or other content that was already free = literally no reason why nintendo should take that down. It’s just an archive of important moments in the game’s history!* Roms of illegal bootlegs also make no sense to be taken down in this blanket ban. Like yo the console creators literally do not own those or make any money off of them, and its GOOD that people arent giving money to the bootleggers! (And, again, its the kind of videogame history that would be easily lost without rom dumps.)

Also lol srsly why cant nintendo just say ‘take down all the roms of games that are currently available for purchase, you can keep all the archived old ones’. Like that would solve the problem without pissing off the fanbase! or seriously yo just add more of those unavailable games to the virtual console...

[sour-gummi-kiwi]

hey here are some Shitty post-game troll kingdom ideas

I had a cool convo with @sparkliee so im gonna unlock the secrets of the universe via copy paste

There are only 4 (four) colours of blood, Cerulean, teal, jade, (all jade bloods are rainbow drinkers now, but whether or not they Activate is their own choice) and Candy Red. The population is about equal between them all, 35% red, 21% for the others. The difference is because hybrids exist, and as ppl got older and Libidos came into creation, prospitians, dersites, and humans all have red blood, changing the balance a bit. If a Teal blood and a prospitian were to make a baby, it would have red blood to support the prospitian features. It would be far more unbalanced if the species had been resurrected more than 20 years ago, but the balance will tip largely eventually. There are only four blood colors b/c the trolls that had them lived, and everyone else died to hard to get the genetic material back. (it  has to be jizz, unfortunately) and no one  wants to EVEN THINK abt gamzee here, lets b real.

The hemospectrum hierarchy can't even exist with so few blood colours, especially since the population amounts per colour are so even. Should things shift enough, or purple bloods return so there's more colours, the hemospectrum won't come back because it's Shitty, and the Kungeys would kick ur ass into the nth dimension if u tried to bring it back.

Before terezi hoofed it to find vriska, she oversaw the justice system in the trollian kingdom, and helped improve others elsewhere!!!! She was on earth for 5 years and set up all the laws, and how to deal with people that break them.

No Murder. Its illegal, just like it is in the rest of the world. No matter what, you cannot assist in a suicide bc thats murder!!!! if someone does you dirty, and not in a kissmesis way, u tell the Cops in your CH or area!!! (they can be found where the info gatherers are)

No Stealing. things still belong to people u stupid head, just barter with them for it!!!! Refusing to give service for something also counts as theft!!! if its not up for sale, or its in their h o m e, fUCK OFF!!!!!!! the punishment for this ranges, depending on previous arrests and the importance of said item. IF YOU STEAL A  P E R S O N YOU CAN BE HELD TO THE SAME STANDARD AS A MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!

Attempting to Bring Harm to another person is illegal, Unless That Person Is Your Kissmesis. You cant just assault someone if you’re in a bad mood!!!! Get ur kissmesis and a bucket, Dave’s sake. 

Attempting to Spread Ideals that Contradict That of The New State is Illegal. this might sound like "don't criticize the government or u go to jail" but its just dont bring back shit like the hemospectrum, anything like that. No nazis in our country.

Those are the big 4, basically anything else falls into one of those. (rape is #3 but even if its ur kissmesis its illegal.)

The jury Was, at first, the best lawyers terezi could find, but as time went on, actual Trolls took those places. Its 7 people, a prosecutor and defence lawyer, and the judge.  Since there's so little crime (b/c ppl are happy and don't feel the need to do Bad Stuff) Terezi herself is the Judge (while she was gone it was Rose), and shit gets INTENSE!!!! Its innocent until proven guilty on paper, but terezi is far more "guilty until proven innocent"-minded, so these trials can get S P I C Y. there was a small spike in crime for the first, like year or so, while terezi was gone looking for vriska. Once she was back, things changed back to normal. There has only been about 375 cases in the whole 20 years, most disputes over if something was "paid off" properly. Those are solved pretty easy. There has only been a couple dozen reports of #3, two of #1, and none of #4. There has only been about 375 cases in the whole 20 years, most disputes over if something was "paid off" properly. Those are solved pretty easy. There has only been a couple dozen reports of #3, two of #1, and none of #4.

Its been abt 20 years since the kiddos arrived on earth, and the trolls took their new kingdom to like, northern africa and the whole kingdom is no bigger than iran

It's just barter instead of money, and since money doesn't "exist," ppl just sort of, do stuff like build roads and stuff at the request of the Kringles, and they give them stuff in return. When dealing with other cultures that use currency, trolls kind of do that "if u give me a free coffee i'll clean your kitchen for u" thing. Other countries are p respectful abt the whole thing. 

Jobs are abundant, as trolls can do Lots of stuff humans can't (psiconics, animal communication, mind control) but they also do regular stuff in their society, like cook, clean, and do service jobs.

There are Communal Hives along with the regular 1 troll hive. Communal hives are like, first nations log houses (idk if u know what that is but its VERY accurate to what im going for here) but REALLY big buildings. There can be anywhere from 60 to 250 trolls living in a single communal hive. Once a troll turns, like 10, they can make the choice of going to a CH (communal hive) or staying on their own. This decision can be changed at any time, but all the stuff u have to do to get in a CH (like proof of identity, ur passport, the stuff u got) is more complicated the older you get. People still got lussi, but there are far more rules on what types of creatures can even be lussi (Vriska's for example, just wouldn't happen), and one would also get to take your lusus with you when you enter it. It’s the school and living space of most trolls.

Politics don't really exist for trolls?? Whoever is incharge of your CH tells "info collectors" what the deal with stuff is, then its overseen and sent off to the royals (kanaya+karkat) so they can do stuff. Ppl that live on their own have info collectors assigned to an area, and if u live there u tell them the deal. 

Cities in Troll Town (i dont got a name yet r ip) are basically just out door malls? like they got hotels ("u sleep here but u gotta fix it after, capiche?? and do ur own dishes, for Dave's sake") and stuff, but they're mostly hUGE barter places, where u trade stuff for other stuff. Things like libraries are in CH's but u can find more expansive ones in cities, there are universities, places u go when u want to learn more, and they're just university but Good, and most cities have a couple CH's in the area (like half a mile away or so) so ppl can actually. Go there. 

Trollian cities like Captor, Medigo, Ampora (yes i named them after the dead kiddos b/c they need to be remembered somehow) are H U G E attractions to other races. 

Ampora is a coastal town, big in fishing, and you can take tours of the waters there in submarines and stuff, theres lots of resorts.

Captor is mostly technology based, with Universities creating Cool New stuff all the time. Imagine troll tokyo.

Medigo is right in the desert, and has the biggest population of non-trolls in the trollian kingdom, humans mostly, b/c theres lots of stuff about history there, and the most expansive shows telling the tales of the gods (basically a play of all of homestuck) are there.

Knowledge of the gods and their stories are treated as history lessons all over the globe, and knowing what to do should you be chosen to play the game is knowledge as universal as knowing what friendship is. U gotta know this stuff, just in case. 

[birdfriender]

What's so bad about D&D 3.5?

I’ve had this ask sitting in my inbox for ages bc I want to give a proper answer and that might take a little while. 

Fucken long post under the cut

So the first an most obvious criticism is the balance issue, a lot of words have been said by a lot of people on this but basically there are some classes that are so weak as to be useless unless carefully optimized by someone who knows what they are doing (eg monk) and other classes that are so overpowered as to trivially break the game unless carefully reigned in by someone who knows what they are doing (eg druid). 

To expand on both those points: monk has a core issue with the design of the class, firstly it is strongly dependent on multiple different attributes. The monk cant wear armour. this is theoretically offset by them adding their wisdom bonus to AC however in order to keep up with other melee combatants this means the monk needs to have high stats in both dex and wis. Additionally, the monk needs strength in order to deal damage as their unarmed attack bonuses do not scale well enough to make up for their lack of magic weapons. Additionally, as a melee combatant with d8 hit dice the monk really cant afford to dump constitution or risk being extremely vulnerable to a couple of lucky attacks. Finally the monk has the second lowest skill points per level of any class, meaning that in order to have any out of combat utility they need to have a little bit of int. This leaves only charisma as a viable dump stat (this is the dump stat for almost every class in the game by the way, another flaw of D&D). As if all this wasn’t enough, the monk doesn’t even have full BAB scaling for gd knows what reason? Additionally the monk has several abilities that benefit them for moving or encourage them to move around, suggesting that the monk should be a fast and mobile fighter, however their key damage dealing ability, flurry of blows, requires a full action and therefore cant be used in the same turn as movement. Flurry of blows ALSO imposes an attack penalty which couples with the monks low BAB means the monk struggles to ever hit enemies, let alone deal meaningful damage.

On the other end of the spectrum, the druid only really ever needs Wisdom. Freeing them up to put their second highest stat in constitution or intelligence for general utility. The druid gets an animal companion which being entirely honestly is usually a more useful combat unit than a monk, and takes its own entire turn every combat in addition the druids fairly powerful array of spells. At level 6 though the druid gets the option to take the Natural Spell feat which, taken on its own with no optimization or further thought put into it, completely breaks the game, letting the druid shapeshift into animals with extremely strong physical stat lines while keeping the druids mental stats AND spellcasting. A casual player with no effort and without meaning to can pick this feat because it sounds cool and suddenly have a character that is basically as powerful as the rest of the party combined.

These sorts of issues pervade all of D&D 3.5 and all its sourcebooks. These examples are just from the core rules but it gets honestly worse the more content you add. Balance isn’t the only issue though, there is a general lack of cohesion with the design across different sourcebooks and different designers. There are often multiple different implementations of the same concept or idea but done in subtly different ways. For instance the alternate class feature system is used very inconsistently and infrequently. There are many sourcebooks that implement “new” classes that could very obviously just have been sets of alternate class features for existing classes, I have a bad memory for the specifics of these but classes such as the Ninja and Swashbuckler jump to mind. Another example of this issue is in bonus typing. There is supposedly a system in 3.5 where every bonus has a type such as enhancement and that multiple bonuses of the same type dont stack, however this is once again applied inconsistently and there are many places in sourcebooks with “untyped” bonuses where neither the designer nor editor cared to correctly implement the rules. These may have eventually been fixed in errata but as far as I know they were not.

 Related to the issue of incoherent design vision there are frequently mechanics or ideas where there is no indication as to how the designer intended these things to be used. The most obvious example of this is Beholder Mage which is a prestige class that is clearly ludicrously overpowered as it was supposedly designed for DMs to use for enemies, however nowhere does anything indicate that this is the intention. On its own this may not seem like a huge issue but when there are lots of these cases scattered across different books and articles it adds a huge overhead on the GM to make sure everything is being used as intended (i.e. that they dont let players play Beholder Mage even when nothing mechanically prevents them from doing so).

One thing that is more of a personal gripe is the issue of “simulationist” games in general. D&D aims to simulate a world by tying everything down with mechanics. Every NPC is built on the same stats and skill system as the player characters when there is absolutely no need for this to be the case. The effect of this is that the DM has to put in a lot of work maintaining the simulation; generating entire stat blocks for every monster and NPC, maintaining all their status effects and spells/day etc. and while many people would argue that DMs dont have to do this and can just handwave it all, that is not what the rulebook tells you to do! When you spend money on the rulebook for a roleplaying game you are placing your faith in the designers of that game to have made a good game with a coherent ruleset that is fun to play, as soon as you start ignoring chunks of the rules to make the game fun or playable THEN THATS A BAD GAME! If the solution to having fun with a game is to just handwave and ignore the actual rules then those are bad rules! its a bad game!

Finally the reason I hate D&D so much and why i cant just ignore it and let people have their “fun” (i remain unconvinced) is the way the design attitudes and sensibilities behind D&D dragged down roleplaying games for so long. I dont think it’s unfair to call D&D the World of Warcraft of tabletop games. For decades, every new RPG copied the fundamental ideas behind D&D, that enemies and players all work on the same system, that the GM should just be expected to do all the work and spend all the hours sorting everything out and that the GM should be the ultimate arbitrator of everything and therefore responsible for everything. Even games that I think are broadly pretty good still suffer from this core conceit, Savage Worlds, Dark Heresy, World of Darkness, etc all would likely be better if they hadn’t approached their design from a D&D dominated perspective.

Honestly I probably forgot some stuff? But thats in broad terms why I think D&D and especially 3.5 are so bad. 

[allofbeercom]

Can Adele fix the broken music industry?

Unless you fell into a post-holiday food coma, you know that Adeles album25just sold more copies in its first week than any album, ever. The average human being had been conditioned to believe this was not possible in 2015.

Remember that narrative?Napster destroyed the music business, the iPod stopped the bleeding, digital and streaming services are still nascent, and a Google search can find anything for free, so the good old days of multi-platinum records are pretty much gone.

On the heels of her first single “Hello,” Adele waved goodbye to that doomsday line of thinking, crushing decades-old sales records by such a distance that, if she were an Olympic athlete, wed immediately assume she healed her damaged vocal chords with PEDs. Putting aside certain idiosyncrasies of Adeles album buyers (it turns out old people still buy CDs!), getting more than 3.8 million people to doanythingin the same week is a triumphant feat.

The ripple effect of Adeles astonishing sales figure is already visible. This past week, Rihanna and her management made a last-minute decision to postpone the release of her new album,Anti, at the apex of the heaviest consumer spending moment of the year. It turns out the shadow of Adele is the one umbrella Ri-Ri wont stand under.

And who can blame her? Between Adeles album sales and Taylor Swifts cultural and touring dominance (FYI: She played to a stadium full of 76,000 people in Sydney last weekend), its tough to stand out at the moment, even for Rihanna, one of Forbes top 10 grossing female artists. Despite working in a music industry with a dearth of women in meaningful executive positions, the strength and power of female artists has never been more profound. And unlike Hollywoodwhere thanks to the North Korean email hack of Sony and a courageous Jennifer Lawrence, we now understand the starkness of the gender pay gapfemale musical artists get paid on par with their male counterparts. In music, the entire ecosystem earns a sizable percentage of whatever the artist makes; record labels make a percentage of album sales, promoters make a percentage of ticket sales, merchandisers make a percentage of T-shirts sold, and so forth. Which means we are at a unique moment in history where A-list women hold much of the real power in the music business.

The strength and power of female artists has never been more profound.

So what will they do with it? And how does their massive success shine a giant spotlight, for better and worse, on everything thats happening with the music business and the streaming business and the concert business and artist representation right now?

Adele and Taylor started this upheaval by each flexing a particular muscle that belongs to them and them only. Taylor used her pen as the sword, bringing the mighty Apple to the bargaining table to pay artists for streams during the free trial for Apple Music. Adele turned herback on streaming services to break an album sales record that had stood since Justin Timberlake was fronting a boy band with Britney Spears on his arm. But beyond the PR success and ego boost thats generated from seven-figure first-week sales numbers, these efforts did little to make a lasting impact on the business of music.

Like the rest of the news cycle, we celebrate heroic outliers, write think pieces, marvel at the numbers, and move on within the confines of the same old structure. As President Business from The Lego Movie would have us believe, everything is awesome. Only it isnt. While artists have done much to break through decades of exploitation and capture more of the value they create, the fan experience in most facets of music consumptionlive and recordedremains unconscionably broken.

Nowhere is the dysfunctional tension between Los Angeles/New York-based content creation and Silicon Valley-based technology more on display than in digital music services. In the Valley, we scoff at companies that ship their org chart in a product. (Note: Microsofts Steve Sinofsky who coined this phrase for mass appeal, and for some time it was Microsoft who was guilty of this en masse.) You can tell when groups within or outside a company arent working well together based on the way the products features play wellor dont play wellin production. This is displayed everywhere in digital music from convoluted hardware options and endless interconnected devices in the home to cutting-edge software that never seems quite ready for primetime. In particular, Apple Music still feels like a house built on the foundation of an old home that the owners never wanted to fully tear down for tax purposes. The compromises and technical debt are palpable.

The fan experience in most facets of music consumptionlive and recordedremains unconscionably broken.

But those issues pale in comparison to the evolving royalty structure in musicbasically, the agreements for how much artists, labels and songwriters get paid when you buy or stream a song. Without hit music from the Taylors and Adeles, those subscription music streaming services are essentially useless. Even if they have the best user experience for fans, without music that matters, their core proposition (the music you want for a flat monthly fee) becomes completely hollow. Disappointed fans know theyre being misled, especially when YouTube and BitTorrent offer even the mildly unscrupulous a holiday table cornucopia of free access to all the music on earth.

We know the economics of music streaming are still being sorted out, but we also know this happened with video content a few years agoand, eventually, major players like Netflix, YouTube and Hulu figured out how to window content, present it exclusively,and generate their own product. If music follows that model, then the biggest artists will sell their exclusivity to distributors like Spotify, Apple, YouTube/Google, and others. Our best asset to help that happen? Just keep complaining about this stuff.

What we are seeing and (not) hearing now as fans is the very public sausage making of a new recorded music revenue model, the loudly creaking rusty hull of an antiquated ship turning a bit too quickly in a swift current. For most of us downstream, it creates a suboptimal listening experience and never-ending frustration.

And its only worse with live music, where artists now make 70 to 90 percent of their income, despite a gallingly offensive fan experience.For one thing, the industry continues to lie to fansblatantlyabout the price of tickets until the very moment of purchase.An upper deck ticket for the Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas tour in Los Angeles on Sept. 17, 2016, is currently available on Ticketmaster for $49.95. After a $15.30 service charge, the actual price of that ticket is31 percent higherthan advertised. At StubHub, where between buyer and seller fees the ticket is routinely marked up 25 percent, the company tried to show pricing all-in. But after competitors didnt follow suit, StubHub reverted back to the draconian way of tricking fans into moving down the purchase funnel by baiting them with a lower price point, before dropping fees on buyers at checkout. Most artists are consciously (or navely) complicit in this dirty game. Many touring deals for large artists stipulate that artists are paid more than 100 percent of gross ticket sales. How can this be? Its because the promoter and venue make their money off of parking, beer, sponsorship, and importantly, service fees.

This wont change until fans start pressuring the artists to facilitate that change. Artists are intensely sensitive about their brands. With social media giving loud voices to all, artists are hyper-concerned with criticism for high ticket prices even though they have historically enabled a service fee system that exploits their fans. Its why so many good tickets often make it into the hands of brokers from venues, promoters, and artists directly. Ever wonder why you see so many VIP packages for sale? Theyre designed to charge market price for a ticket with a few low-cost add-ons attached. So why cant artists own their income desires and get paid what they are worth, or alternatively restrict transferability of tickets to ensure that fans get in at an artificially low price? Service fees are an extension of the ticket price, so why arent they presented as such up front in the buying process?

Apple Music still feels like a house built on the foundation of an old home that the owners never wanted to fully tear down for tax purposes.

All of the carnival barking about ticket prices comes against the backdrop of a swelling period of time between the onsale of a concert and the actual show date. For the concert example above, a fan buying four mid-level tickets would be putting down more than $400 of his hard earned money10 monthsbefore the show. That same week the tour plays a Wednesday night in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Who the heck knows what theyre doing on a Wednesday night 10 months from now in Albuquerque? The answers fall into three categories:

I dont.

Im one of the few passionate fans who will move my schedule around this show and give you my money ten months in advance.

Im a ticket broker, and Im buying bunches of tickets now to arbitrage and capitalize on all the people in #1 above.

This practice of ridiculously early sales has been expanded by the industry to bank money early, test demand, and reduce risk. Do they care that the best tickets go mostly to brokers, that fans pay more money than they otherwise would, and that the most passionate fans lose out on 10 months of interest on their money? Of course not. Were moving backwards.

The big question: Is all of this a calculated plan by the music industry to keep things as unfavorable for fans as possible, or can we chalk it up to sheer incompetence?

The recent Paris tragedy reminded us that the music industrys obligation to provide a better experience for fans are growing ever more urgent. The attacks on fans at a concert hall and a sports stadium were the manifestation of a longstanding fear we had at Ticketmaster about live eventscrowds are so much more vulnerable than we want to believe. We already learned this in air transportation after 9/11; 14 years later, we collect loads of data and restrict transferability of tickets between passengers boarding a 200-seat airplane. But with 80,000-seat stadiums, we continue to do almost nothing. With the use of cash, paper tickets, ticket reselling, and an average of almost three tickets-sold-per-order, upwards of 90 percent of individuals entering an arena or stadium can be unknown to event organizers.

The entire paradigm of music distribution is staring down the barrel of an evolutionary leap.

There are common sense solutions that would make live events safer for fans. By reimagining a ticket as a digital access credential replete with identity, payment, and location metadata, we could do the forensic work before and after events to identify bad actors. This need not restrict ticket transferability or resale; it simply means maintaining a centralized system of record where tickets can be sold and the data associated with buyers and sellers infinitely logged. Existing and emerging technologies, including blockchain, are candidates for handling this challenge. They can also prepare us for the dawn of virtual reality in live events, ensuring this technology becomes incremental and not cannibalistic to the artists live performance. To do so fully requires sunsetting the idea of a ticket as a piece of paper; identity and access can be tied to a phone, a card, or a fingerprint.

Guess what? This is precisely the course of technology across most consumer products today. Like other products, these advancements have the happy consequence of actually improving the consumer experience. This data can serve to personalize the live experience for each fan before, during, and after the event. It could allow artists to over-deliver on an experience for which they are charging astronomical sums, up to a year in advance. As usual, we fell way behind the curve in the music business. So maybe this is about incompetence over anything else.

Indeed, the entire paradigm of music distribution is staring down the barrel of an evolutionary leap. Twitter, like its many mobile social messaging peers from Snapchat to WeChat to Line to Instagram to Facebook, is really a direct-to-consumer distribution channel that could fundamentally transform the relationship between artists and fans. Katy Perry has 78M Twitter followers, Taylor Swift has 67M, Rihanna has 53M, and Adele, essentially without even trying, has 24M. Roughly half of the 100 most-followed accounts on Twitter are artists, and the technology is now in place for artists to commercialize their follower relationships by selling songs, tickets, and T-shirts directly on these platforms. Twitter led this effort; others followed suit. Its the fastest way to remodel the entire music industry. Any artist who pined for more control over the distribution of their art, as well as the artist-fan covenant, have the powers at their disposal to take command.

Which brings us back to what we learned this week, and this yearthat the biggest artists (including these stellar women who showed their might) have real leverage and real power right now. If they wanted, they could change a sedentary, broken industry. Conventional wisdom is that Adele is an outlier, capable of holding out for her own good but not much more. What if Adele, Taylor, and other elite artists united to force progress for all? Athletes in major sports leagues banded together. Actors held their own. So did screenwriters, directors, producers, and show runners. Music seems to be the only branch of entertainment where the collective voice of creators is mute.

The underlying driver of this silence is artist fragmentation. It is the key environmental factor upon which the 20th century music business was constructed: allow rare stars to extract their pound, but keep the bulk of the talent uncoordinated. Beyond the occasional telethon, its rare to find examples of artists working collaboratively for a cause at scale. Why is that? The leading culprit is that artists have traditionally outsourced a lot of their business decisions to their managers. Now that the time travelled from anonymity to stardom has shrunk to mere months, and artist-as-entrepreneur is a near requirement for success, the role of the artist manager has taken on increasing importance.

Sadly, management remains as fragmented and cutthroat as the days when Colonel Tom Parker was shepherding Elvis. In many cases, the speed to stardom brings along in its slipstream a relatively unsophisticated crew of hangers-on surrounding the artist. Cousins, classmates, boyfriends and the like, with little to no experience become entrusted with decisions that can impact decades of an artists revenue streams. Because most managers are paid on a percentage of the artists revenue streams, near-term money is usually prioritized ahead of long-term career value for an artist. Partnership and collaboration gets lost in fears and insecurities about acts being stolen away by other managers. Even the more sophisticated and professional managers suffer from the epidemic of the shark tank. Irving Azoff (Front Line Management) and Coran Capshaw (Red Light Management) are the two managers who have assembled artist management companies with meaningful scale. Ive apprenticed for them both, and they are excellent at what they do. But competition for the artists they manage (or would like to) remains high, and for their own business self-survival they are perpetually on alert. They do not operate in an ecosystem that fosters cooperation.

Music seems to be the only branch of entertainment where the collective voice of creators is mute.

Even the law works against artist representatives working together. California passed a law in 1978 called the Talent Agency Act that effectively says a person cannot be a manager and also book an artists tour. In practice, artists must carry both a manager and an agent, fragmenting the power of decision-making (and also the artists income). Entire cottage industries have been built on this church-state separation. Alliances are routinely built and broken between agencies and managers, further fueling the lustful competition and mistrust between artist representatives. One can surmise this is generally the scene that inspired the late Hunter S. Thompson quote: The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. Theres also a negative side.

Yet the opportunity for artists in the music business today is wonderfully beyond what even Thompson could have imagined (or hallucinated). And so it rests, finally, on the shoulders of artistsand the biggest ones, at thatto wrest control of this shallow trench of an industry away from those who have kept it in a state of morass, and give it depth. All that stands in the way of advancing the industry forward is overcoming the fragmentation within the artist community today.

And thats why Adeles eye-popping success last week is so confounding. Why, exactly, did she show her strength? The cynic will tell you it was for the money. But just as she could care less about what you think of her weight (somehow I dont expect the press to repeatedly address Chris Martins post-breakup body fat when the Coldplay album drops this week), she seems unmoved by the chance to make a few extra pounds. Which leads to the conclusion that like the rest of us, she falls somewhere on the scale between competitive and vain: She withheld her music from streaming services explicitly in search of setting a mark that none of her peers or predecessors ever did.

Having vanquished them now, will she flex her muscle for more than just the charts? She seemingly has willing partners in this effortin Taylor Swift and many of her now powerful female counterparts, as well as popular artists like Jay Z who have made recent business strides around artist empowerment. In so many ways, Adeles sales figures are less about her, and more a reflection of the continually crescendoing role of music in peoples lives.

In spite of all its dysfunction and fan neglect, our follower graphs on social networks hint that our accelerating interconnectivity is still threaded together most tightly by music. By following suit and binding together in this moment, Adele and the artist community can move the business and experience of music forward for all of us. As the Beatles knew: Come together, right now. Records are made to be broken. Adele and her peers have the chance to be indelible.

Nathan Hubbard is a former touring and recording artist, former CEO of Ticketmaster, and current head of commerce at Twitter. A version of this story was originally published on Medium and has been reprinted with permission.

Screengrab via AdeleVEVO/YouTube

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/can-adele-fix-the-broken-music-industry/

[isaacathom]

ooh ooh!!! an idea. if Rhia and Elliot are tied together through their use of the sinnoh starters (and with either the Professor or the Champion or a different Elite Member having the 3rd one), other trios should ALSO be tied!

for instance, the tourists! the three of them should have a starter set. but which region? alola, kalos, or hoenn? idk. maybe it should be the Researchers set, which means the alola starters. that’d make sense, since They’d be the character most capable of wiggling strings and getting that to happen. admittedly T coooouuulld probably convince her native professor (that is, fucking.... oh god. Sycamore, thats it, jesus christ) to hand some over, considering Sycamore is clearly Loaded when it comes to starters. he gives you like, three????? three???? he gives a least two but im positive he gives you another. that or it was Shauna? idk. you get a lot of pokemon handed to you in xy. but, given that T is a strong trainer, it stands to reason she COULD do that. could. would she? idk. and then theres no real way that V could get a set for his friends. loves them dearly, but he has very little connection to breeders and the professors, etc, so he can’t really make that happen. if anything, he’d have this really random collection of pokemon eggs that he’d give to his friends (and especially to R) that he might get from people who are really grateful for his help. thatd be it. starters specifically? probably not. V has Popplio. Not sure which of R and T has Rowlet or Litten. lemme check. well.... hmm. T’s personality means it makes sense for her to have Litten? id be ok with that. means R has Rowlet, and i think thats the more..... interesting pokemon anyway. good for fun tidbits, yknow, like ‘did you know this is the only starter pokemon that starts with a dual typing???? and changes its secondary type in its final evo??? isnt that cool??????’ they’d think it was very cool and they would love their hoodie archer child.

though if the tourists are a three set..... who is YOUR third member. you and your rival are two of them, with your rival definitely being the type advantage sort (so not shauna or Hau or Bianca). but then who is that, for you? eeelliot??? seems weird to give him two starters, even if both starters make sense for him to have. plus the issue is that if you picked the grass starter, he’d have two water starters??? empoleon and the one that relies on you. so id rather separate that. who can serve as a third? the professor could, which removes her from the Rhia/Elliot set (meaning the Infernape goes to either the Champion or an elite 4 member). which is fine, i suppose, but im not sure when youd actually FIGHT the professor to make that set have any meaning. it COULD be the other player character, the one who didnt pick? but where would THEY slot in????

ACTUALLY. ooh this would be kinda neat too. Maaaaayybe. the other player character is a gym leader??????? or an elite??? having multiple change-y elites seems like overkill (even if the character doesnt actually change, just their gender and sprite. they’d have a neutral name, like Alex, to minimise effort). but i think that’d be kinda cool! issue with that is that having them have the third starter would mess with typing, and i dont want two elite 4s with mixed teams (as Rhia/Elliot have mixed teams). and a gym leader with a mixed team??? eh. unless they would sorta like, uh, Striaton City gym (spelt it right for once). where like, its the first gym, and they change types. but then why would they pick the type youre STRONG against??? unless it was more in depth than that. like ‘oh, you picked fire? well, here’s my grass type. neat, yea? oh, you knocked it. well, heres my grass/water pokemon! haha!’ or something? eh. not sure i dig that. mostly because striaton gym was kinda lame. i mean, they only used it once, for fucks sake. uh.... hmm... it doesnt really work that great if they have the weaker one..... or... maaybbee.... uh....... Small Fry??? the original idea for SF is that they were a weak trainer, a naive soul, who was manipulated by Dante into taking the fall for him, by putting him at the head of the Team. and while parts of that aren’t true anymore.... it could be interesting??? to play up that angle. even if that would substantially lessen the potential impact of your Rival being in the Team if you fuck w/ him. hmmm................ god, idk. maybe not??? maybe they should be for some other optional content? like how the other player in bw1/2 is for battle subway only? seems kinda boring and would wholly depend on which side activity is present. given this is Victoria (or Urica lol), pokeathlon would make more sense. yknow, the hardest fucking optional game to implement. lol, fuck. fUUUCK. i dont know where the other player character goes. unless they also accompany you, either in an Ethan/Lyra way or in a Brendan/May way??? i.... dooont see why not? would require their character having a distinct rival arc. like, the routes for the Actual Rival is to either fight by your side, live his own way, or actively antagonise you. to be a good guy, to be neutral, or to be a villain, essentially. but you cant just copy the same thing for the other player character. that’d just be poor form. gotta be unique. but similar. they dont join the evil team though...... THOUUUUUGGGH.... now i say that, having the other player join the evil team is some actually kick ass shit nd i love it. echoes that idea of players actually wanting to be in those teams. thatd be actually fucking radical. so should the rivals trajectory be changed??? AAAAAAAAA fuck. hhhhhhhhhhh. what would their routes BE, then. uhh.......... fuuuuck. maybe, instead of joining the Team, they join the Org??? which, while the same entity, have vastly different repurcussions. after all, the Org is ‘good’, and a lot of people are in it to do good, as opposed to the Team which are bad boys all day. with the alterations being that if you treat them WELL they join the org, rather than the other way around??? which could actually be kinda neat. like, you treat them nicely, so they decide to be like, helpful in general, and join the group making this possible. whereas if you treat them like shit... they just sorta..... exist. you stunt their growth. you hold them back from their potential. whereas if youre neutral, theyre generally proactive but not really doing much. they dont really NEED to, but, yknow.

thoughhhh. idk. maybe they should join regardless? and your actions influence which group they join? there are three, after all - security, safety, and healing. or whatever. police, fire fighters, ambulance. which doesnt aaaactually change much? mostly just like, ooutfits? or some lines. their general presence would still be similar, surely?

ok honestly this has gone on long enough im gonna take this issue to another post

[trpg-dingusmaster]

two druids and a bard almost ruin dm’s fanfiction, dm responds by being a weenie

I went to play dnd at the shop a while ago, again my friend who usually plays the unicorn in my game came with- this time there was room a the table so she joined the game. there were a lot of people missing but also one new guy? or at east one guy I’ve never seen before. he and I helped her build a character. he did most of the work since they were both playing druids anyway.

the dm this time was the guy who plays the one handed girl in edwardian/victorian england (90lbs FineCoal) campaign, and the tabaxi in the official event campaign. 

This guys campaign was, I was told, a High Seas themed 5e. I had made a character for this when I was first told about it i dunno a month or two ago? 1/2 orc bard, Bassun (like a bassoon) Drun. 

it turns out this campaign is coming to an end though so it doesnt matter. I had kept missing weeks this game was going on because of work and it seems like a WHOLE LOT of stuff went on between when I made my character and yesterday. heres a few few things, and getting even this ,uch was like pulling teeth to be honest. a lot of these details lead me to believe this is some kind of kingdom hearts fanfiction? but it was never explicitly escribed as such.

-characters all have keyblades? some more than one. each having a special ability of some kind though it doesnt seen to always correspond with the theme of the keyblade? like- mine is basically just a magical electric-keyboard-guitar? thing? but is special ability is to turn into a really big gun??? unless I misunderstood?? I thought it was weird though so I never used it.

-there are Nobodies- both monsterous and humaniod I think? But the humanoid ones might be called Shamans? (but the could be a different faction?)  which cannot be hurt by any magic or attacks not done with the keyblades. and several spells that probably we shouldnt have needed to make any rolls for we had  to roll to see if they effected them or something? I think someone said it was because they can become incorporeal nearly at will? and/or because they can shift into a pocket plain as a means of travel through the material plain?

-non magic using classes get 2 first level spells or 1 second level spell with dm approval they can cast through the keyblade only, these spells are attached to it permanently and cant be changed. these spells can be used 1/long rest. spells are taken from a class list that either fits the keyblade theme or some arbitrary choice by the dm im not sure

-magic user classes can cast either all of their spells through the keyblade or the same unchangeable 2 first level or 1 second level I’m not sure. but at the very least I  know I can cast shatter with it? 

-there are things called orbs? which are collected from defeated nobodies (I think?) and theycan be used to do stuff like- get new keyblades or to do something that sounded like buying spell slots but not quite? I’m not sure.

-there are god like entities in physical form that are just?? around?? but also somethat are not in physical form?? some of them have avatars that are around doing stuff?? both god like beings and their avatars are kill able? 

Theres something called the cursed lands which seems to be some kind of separate plain seeping into and corrupting the material plain? it seems to have some natural mind effecting abilities? and is where the main antagonists are hiding out? I get the feeling its based off of some end game locations in some kh game or another.

I’m thinking maybe if I was more familiar with kingdom hearts maybe I’d have some idea about whats going on? I’ve only played 1, 2, and chain of memories so....  I dunno if any of the weird stuff here is from the other KH content or what. I suspect the ‘Sea’ is actually SPACE/multiverse and the ‘islands’ are actually distinct worlds/universes.

Also, its not really very 5e? the way the game goes is very like how the 90lbs FineCoal is played but combat sort of resembles 5e where the other doesnt.

the game was very chaotic and confusing but this time it was basically no fun, like at all. my self, my friend, and the new guy were unfamiliar with the setting and its rules and no one felt the need to explain. nearly everything we tried to do ended up being not allowed either by setting rules or just because it was too far removed from the dms expectations and thus would ruin his narrative, I assume based on what things did work.

Which brings me to how the dm was being a weenie. Instead of just explaining to us you cant use this or do that and you don’t have such and such ability because game rules, even if it wasn’t true we wouldn’t have known or just honestly saying: I cant let you do that because it ruins the story I’m trying to tell, that would have been one thing, but what he chose to do was punish characters/players for doing stuff didn’t want us to do whether or not we knew what we were trying to do was allowed, with no explanation. this ranged from giving damage or curses to characters or destroying character equipment, and even going so far as to allow players to roll for actions or saves with crazy high difficulty but disregarding the roll entirely even if it was a natural 20 ift he result didn’t work with what he wanted to happen. this was a literal exchange between a player and the dm:

-can I roll to stop that?

-you can try hehehe

-natural 20!

-...I dont care... you still fail. (no, he wasnt kidding)

here are some things that were not allowed or deemed really annoying for... reasons? (even if what we were doing should have been allowed based on what we understood of the rules we were told, like- magic cast through the keyblade effects Nobodies... except when the dm doesnt want it to because it ruins the plot)

casting identify, casting locate object, casting warding wind, casting pass without a trace, casting wind wall, casting glyph of warding, casting lesser restoration, casting remove curse, leaving an npc behind for in character plot reasons also they were a distracting attempt at slapstick comedy (this npcs weapon of choice was a frying pan) which no one wanted to bring into the end game, having in character conversation while the rest of the party participated in the plot that only they understood, wanting to start changing character alignment for the better because plot, asking how big a space was, asking how far away things were, inspiring the party (my bards equipment was broken for this). asking for explicit approval before trying to take an action. 

one guy, whos been playing this campaign since it was started got so fed up with the dm being a weenie he nearly left. It seems this kind of behavior- punishing with out explanation or obvious reason, was common throughout and it really fits with what I’ve come to learn about this guy and how he plays these games. I can only hope he learns and grows out of it.

if youre going to run a railroading style campaign or adventure, thats fine and a perfectly valid way to run a game, but please be clear with the players- ALL of them that’s whats going on and such are your expectations for the game, also if there are weird homebrew rules you REALLY need to make sure ALL of your players have some grasp on what they are.

if my friend and I, I assume also the new guy, had known more about the setting and the dms expectations we would have chosen and built our characters, or at least played them, differently. Maybe we could have been a constructive part of the group instead of three annoying piles of dead weight everyone was frustrated with by the end of the session.

or I dunno, maybe don’t have three new people jump into the tail end of an unnecessarily complicated homebrew campaign with no real context.

we could have done something else, I could have run a little one shot  at another table or helped people make characters for the murder hobo game. if I’m there the next time this game is going I might do that, because i really didn’t enjoy this. The whole thing hardly even felt like a game? It felt more like we were just being lead through the dms fanfiction. He intends to start another campaign once this is done, to stay in the rotation, I’m not sure if I’m gonna do that one either.

 I might at least give it a try once, mostly to confirm my suspicion that even though he owns a copy of the PHB and possibly the DMG I’m not sure he actually read them. I mean, look, I understand being a dm is hard especially if youre still new and learning, I’m still learning too, but that’s no excuse to be a weenie to your players. You know? You have to communicate and yeah sometimes you gotta compromise sometimes you gotta improvise, thats like, a pretty big part of games like this isnt it?