#i cant even listen to audiobooks its that bad

[camelspit]

hey. maybe you shouldn't write a book review if you haven't even finished the fucking book. btw.

[akaakeis]

hi sav !! 2, 15 and 21 for your ask game !! i wanna make sure you’re drinking enough water AND eating enough!! make sure to eat and take care of yourself <33333 i hope your day was great(and you can totally talk about it to me if you’d like!!)

aaa hi dear!! so happy to see u in my inbox <3 i think u double sent this ask so ill just reply to this one !!

2 - Show or talk about your most recent work of art? (Does not have to be a drawing or painting. Anything counts.)

ooo i would say my most recent work of art is this oikawa oneshot !! im definitely proud of it :) i was gonna talk about and show a recent drawing but since anything counts.. this is the most recent <3

15 - Have you drank a liquid recently? (If not, find something to drink!)

YES I HAVE!! i have a drink from the airport its a kiwi strawberry vitamin water thingy and ITS SO GOOD I LOVE IT SM??? DONT FORGET TO DRINK SOMETHING AS WELL SAE

21 - Something you are excited for?

aaa i don't have anything that im particularly excited for at the moment! OH im excited for this hoodie that i ordered to arrive tho!! it's a tour hoodie for niki- shes one of my fav music artists! <3

...also since u offered 😼 my day was really weird idk? let me give u a rundown!! so picture me staying up until like 4 am for my cousin's bday party screaming karaoke, dancing, having pillow fights, giving a speech... all that... i was so so so tired bro omg. when i gave my speech i cried so yeah and i also lost my voice during karaoke since we were singing bruno mars a lot 😭 BUT THAT WAS ALL YESTERDAY FOR ME ONTO TODAY!! when i wake up im exhausted im dazed and confused fr AND MY THROAT HURTS!!!

so i get out of bed and we have guests over (i was sleeping over at my cousins house btw) and theres this one woman w a daughter my age- she's super friendly and she really likes me idk 😭 she sees me and she keeps lightly pushing and tapping my shoulders and like... putting a hand on my knee? as she talks to me? one thing about me, im not the fondest of physical touch unless i initiate it so that was super duper uncomfortable blergh

BUT AFTER THAT I HEADED TO MY AUNTS HOUSE BC WE HELD THE PARTY LAST NIGJT THERE so we went over to clean up!! it was pretty smooth and i was listening to an audiobook as i cleaned bc i had to read some chapters for homework!! so that was kinda nice!! and then after cleaning up i had to go to the airport

AND AT THE AIRPORT IT WAS SO BAD SAE IT WAS SO BAD IM NOT JOKING so as u already know im 15, a MINOR!! so im flying w my mom and we go to the security checkpoints and the officers keep telling me to go ON MY OWN through a checkpoint (which i cant do, because i dont own an identification badge?? idk why they were trying to make me) so my mom had to go through arguing w an officer who was saying i could do it even though im a minor... but we got through fine after that!! THEN AFTER THAT WE WERE WAITING TO BOARD BUT THEY NEVER ANNOUNCED BOARDING?? anyway we were last call and this one flight attendant was pretty rude to us (presumably bc we were last) and was just generally giving us a hard time so that was annoying... BUT IM BACK HOME NOW!! yap session over

[explodingfurby]

me when i am cant fucning breath without coughing agjhhhhhh

[rosewoodconch]

RWCH Readathon 2024: Day 4

Underciver Princess - Chapter 9

THE GIRLIES GET TO BOND! FINALLY

Im on a train so his is literally my thoughts as i listen to the audiobook instead of reading a physical book

I really love the visual of Ani and Ellie painting each others nails... stay tuned for something about that tomorrow? ;)

Ellie tidied the room! I really adore that Ellies messiness isnt necessarily gone, but you can try that Ellie has really tried to sort it out

AND OH MY GOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN STANDING IN JUST BRIEFS

We were too casual about this

Also you can wear a bra or tank top to dye your hair trust me i do it every month

This is the gayest thing I've ever read and I've been on ao3 since i was 12

The velvet underground is excellent, and i think you should all go listen to them

Their lil apologies and the "Mr Truffles." Im dying i love them

NON BINARY / ANDROGENOUS ELLIE MY BELOVED

Baby gender funky

Ellie is legit the reason i figured out i maybe was gender funky so shoutout to ellie wolf the most gender ever

Even though ellie did get to choose Rosewood that easily, i like that she can still kind of relate to lottie in that it wasn't the easiest thing to get there, even though they have different circumstances

I like that ellie really genuinely is in awe of ellie and shes trying to say that

But honestly yeah some of the others probably wont apprciate it as much as them both because they almost couldnt go here

"Ill gladly beat them up for you" cut to Edmunds nose...

"I'm perfectly capable of beating up my own enemies" well... not yet, but you'll get there

Honestly yeah. Dying hair is a true bonding experience. I remember my gf dying my hair for the first time and its one of the... most non romantic non sexual but intimate things

Maybe Charles boyle from b99 had a point about the shampoo...

The kitchen sounds like heaven

"Like she'd found a little home with her" GUYS IM CRYING ON A TRAIN I CANT DO THIS

Right onto the "Bad Thing"

Thats the most scary way she could've phrased that

Poor lottie she just wanted to please

Adina devine once again could punch me and I'd thank her

I love Ellie so much, shes such a little actress

Prof devine is so chaotic good i adore her

I feel like theres not enough fan art of their pajamas!??!?!? Ellie likes star wars and we dont talk about that enough

I love their lil blossoming friendship, the way they cant stay mad or cross and just burst out laughing theyre so sweet

William tufty!!! What a man

I have such a perfect image of this room in my mind, but a glass table is no where in it that feels so wrong

I dont like the term loveseat

I think that this scene and the interaction between prof and devine proves that she knows ellies identity. We never get confirmation of it, but like... someone must have her actual legal documents right? For exams and stuff?

"The fates have placed you together" UGH I NEED A SOULMATE AU RIGHT NOW

All of devines speech at the end of this bit feels like its got so much power behind it, like shes casting a spell.

She understands these girls so intensely that I wonder if she had a similar experience when she was a student. Did she go to Rosewood?

"We can achieve amazing things when we uplift one another"

Reminds me so much of "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" from YOU GUESSED IT Barbie Princess Charm School

I promise I'll have a different comparison eventually

Theyre a little sanctuary 😭😭😭

Finally, the ominous little bit about the rumour, growing like weeds in the grounds of rosewood is so poetic and so full of suspense i love it so much

It really sets up quite how dangerous the rumour could and will be

It also comes back to the whole thing about Lottie being somehow tied to the roses and garden. And the rumour and things stirring as weeds, here to disrupt her perfect life at Rosewood

And we're so back. This is the chapter that lowkey gave me faith again. The way the settings are described and the character motivations are softly shown and they feel like real moving characters.

I really appreciate this humanising Devine too, while also making her seem otherworldly at the same time. It's like a heightened version of Binahs almost omniscience.

All in all, this chapter makes me really happy and i need fan art of all of it please @ Rosewood artists

[dylanobrienisbatman]

Hiyaaaaaa it's nearly time for spotify wrapped, do you have any predictions for your top 5 songs? (Thought it might be fun to guess now and compare to the playlist when it drops!) Ilysm 💙

Oh jeez lol

honestly i have no idea? ive listened to WAY more podcasts and audiobooks this year than i did music, so its really a total mystery to me this year! BUT i'll make some predictions

something by 5sos, probably from 5sos5. I'd like it to be Haze , but its probably Easy for You to Say (which is an absolute BANGER). And lbr, its probably more than one 5sos song but in the interest of some variety lets throw caution to the wind here and make some other predictions lol

Something from Sabrina Carpenter, probably Feather? She is THE pop girlie of the moment lbr

Something by Drama (GREAT act btw give them a listen) since i listened to them on my Chicago trip! Maybe 3AM or Tighten it up?

Something by Britney Spears maybe? her book put me in a true britney mood!

Airhead by Honey Revenge maybe? I really dig their album Retrovision and I listened to that a lot this year!

And as a bonus, if the song had come out sooner Houdini by Dua Lipa would definitely have made the top 5. obsessed with that song (can she even make a bad song? im betting not)

Also i cant for the life of me remember what album/artist was the soundtrack to my month in Berlin back in March BUT whoever they were will probably make this list. I usually settle on a single artist or sometimes even just one album and listen to that during a trip so that later on it can sort of be the soundtrack and bring back fun memories, so whatever I listened to in March in Berlin will probably make an appearance!

[fansandtheic]

Olivia D.'s Story

I cant begin to describe how much this story has impacted my life. I met the characters shortly after eldest was published. My friends were moving out of the country and couldnt bring most of their belongings, and when we were helping them pack i was given his copies of eragon and eldest to keep safe. I read them and reread them, and i was almost glad they decided not to move back to the US so i didnt have to give “my” copies back. 

Being a military brat can be very lonely. You have to remake friends every few years, and being homeschooled meant that the opportunities to make friends were few and far between. Because of how you wrote i felt like i knew the characters. I could sympathize with them; i felt like i grew up with them. Reading has always been an escape and comfort for me, and alagaësia was a place so detailed i could slip right into the story. 

I was in middle school when i started reading about the Adventures of eragon. I was in Highschool when my father passed away, and all of a sudden the story became even more personal. I could relate to eragoN’s grief and anger. I recieved Inheritance as Christmas eve gift the year it came out, and by the end of christmas day i had finished it. I hated thinking that the story was over; my friends were gone. I didn’t reread again, and when i heard about the short stories i didnt read them because i didnt want to mourn my friends again. 

Now its been over a decade since the inheritance cycle “ended”, and i am a mom now. I enjoy listening to audiobooks with my toddlers in the car, and when thinking through the books i loved i realized i was ready to go back to alagaësia. I had finished eldest when i heard via tik tok that we were getting murtagh. I was so excited. I ordered the audiobook and rhe physical copy the day it was released and ive been listening to it in bits and pieces to make it last.

I just finished it and i am so happy that murtagh and thorn are getting their closure and making their experiences known. I love seeing the parallels between the brothers and how their stories pan out. I hope they get the closure they need. 

I want my children growing up with the idea that you can overcome bad decisions. That bad people can look good, and good people sometimes do bad things. I want then to know that you can be forgiven, and real friends will call you on your decisions while still loving you. The lessons ive internalized while reading will stick with me forever, and i hope that Alagaësia will be just as special to them as it is to me. 

Thank you, Olivia D

[moss-reads]

Caraval by Stephanie Garber

Rating: 3.4⭐️

I originally started writing this review with 2 hours in the audiobook left, but decided to scrap it because it was much more generous then i'm going to be now

with all the praise ive heard for Once Upon a Broken Heart i'm so confused that this was written by the same author, and now i'm not sure if i'm as willing as i was to start that series, when i'm not even sure i'll even start Legendary or Finale

I listened to the audiobook, narrated by Rebecca Soler and i think her voices are quite good and its easy to forget she's just one person narrating all the characters, and i think thats why i continued with it till the end because the experience wasnt completely unenjoyable

I will say sometimes the performance was a bit dramatic, but i imagine that could be from the writing, which i think felt extremely basic and i think for this being the first in Stephanie Garbers at least well known books (considering i cant even find titles of what wikipedia says shes written before) that can happen and i try not to fault authors for that

the plot felt extremely muddled and confusing, and the pacing was extremely off in several paces but it didnt feel like anything mattered that much anyway, the twists and turns felt too high in quantity to really know what exactly was the truth, but not in a fun way like a book that keeps you guessing, it felt more like there was a full point you were supposed to get but it was so shoehorned in it was hard to grasp it fully

the romance wasnt bad,but it both didnt feel that necessary and felt too necessary, and it sort of took away from how we're suppossed to believe Scarlett loves her sister above all else, when her reunion with Julian had way more depth, and his character felt the most well written till the ending

donatella dragna is probably one of the most insufferable badly written characters ive ever read, and finding out she's supposed to be 15 makes some sense until you remember all the illusions to sex with her character and then you just get a bad taste in your mouth

i dont want to dunk completely on this book, because i did enjoy some of it especially around the middle point when they first arrive on the island, but as it got further on i just wanted it to be over, as i stated earlier i got to about 2 hours left and started to write this review because i wanted it to be over but i didnt even continue the book for several days because it just didnt draw me in enough

i might later continue the series out of curiosity, and because i would like to give Once Upon a Broken Heart a chance but i am so extremely disappointed since this has been on my tbr for a while, i even almost bought the physical copy a few months back but i am so glad i got three other books i thoroughly enjoyed instead because i had attempted originally to read the ebook from my library and could not get through it

tldr: i did not like caraval, i dont think it was the worst book ever written but i dont think it was very good either,and honestly i think the love interest was a better character then any of the rest of them, and only for about half the book

[xxxtwilightaxelxxx]

I'm gonna vent a little so ignore me,

I've got a blocked left ear and I've had it since Friday and it's so fucking annoying, and as a hypocondriac all I'm doing is worrying over it and thinking bad thoughts on it, I bought ear drops..Monday and they aren't really doing anything, neither is the hot water bottle I'm laying on. I read there's an..ingredient in congestion meds that are ideal for blocked ears and of course the two pharmacies up the road didn't have the one i was looking for, so I've had a lemsip drink and maybe if I try a coupe of those it'll help.

I'm just feel so fucking lost like I cant listen to my audiobook while going to and from work, watching something is hard, today was my day off and I'm just in such a bad mood I just am not in the mood to read anything.

And to top it off last night I hardly got any sleep because I was worried about everything so literally had to turn my heated blanket on to fall asleep...and what I really have been wanting is a hug so fucking badly. Someone to just hug me and comfort me but nope, my family aren't touchy people and either case they would just say I'm being stupid and over reacting it's a blocked ear, not something terrible. But this is what I'm like, and all I wanna do is fucking cry and want this fucking ear to pop so I can fucking relax and be happy again.

I'm reqlly in a funny mood of course this evening, I mean I fucking fell asleep I think for over an hour earlier which I wasn't surprised, and no notifications on tumblr. I'm watching that abbott school show because I keep seeing it and well its only 10 eps for a season and something to do you know, and something that isn't important that I need both ears unblocked for.

And then I'm also worrying about the fridge because I think it's too high now, things keep going off in fridge and stuff in freezer isn't freezing right and neither my mum or sister are really caring and it's fucking bonkers. I just want someone on my fucking side for fucking once.

[sanstropfremir]

peniel said on his get real podcast that they only had 2-3 days to actually rehearse for their kingdom stages........................... that's crazy

honestly i'm not that surprised by this, it makes sense given how late their rehearsals were (in the missing you rehearsal video they mention rehearsal being from 10pm to 2am ish) and also the fact that the episodes were airing weekly ish. plus on top of whatever undoubtedly packed individual schedules they have (changsub's musical, peniel does a fair amount of podcast stuff i think? and eunkwang and minhyuk were probably doing things on top of vocal training and workouts, plus actually arranging and recording the songs each week), it really doesn't boil down to a lot of time physically available for them to rehearse. oh and also mnet will have had them filming stuff for the story segments too. now that i think about it more i'm pretty sure mnet spread out those skill stages and the sports festival across so many episodes (4) because they likely got complaints from the companies and management about unrealistic filming + rehearsal expectations. watching ateez's fireworks promotions i was afraid they were gonna drop dead they looked so exhausted. by spreading out those stages so much, there was actually a big chunk (probably at least two weeks) where they had more time to prep for the last two stages. but it for sure speaks again to the professionalism of btob that they could consistently pull off the best stages on that little of rehearsal time. it's clear they had a pretty coordinated team working behind them, which goes a very long way when it comes to putting together something like this. i think people who don't see behind the scenes in the performance industry don't realize the extent of how many things are happening simultaneously. actors/performers are really only there a small fraction of the actual time it takes a thing to be made. one person only has 24 hours in a day, but fifty people have 1200 hours in a day.

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

And I have returned! I was fairly impressed at first. And then...well, that’s when the disappointment set in.

So, look. Yeah. We have to talk. Because I don’t think you’re getting this musical pain thing. Like at all. And that concerns me, it really does. I was going to let this drop, I really was (that’s probably a lie, it’s too much fun), but now I feel as though there’s been a challenge set forth. So I made another playlist, just for you. Soul-crushing stuff, really. And I’m not even expecting you to like them, but like...can you not feel all the ow and the ouch?? (you do know you can lay on a club floor and not actually rattle to death, don’t you?)

okay this took a while :'') pardon moi

i CANT BELIEVE youve rated "two birds" 3.2/10 its one of my fav songs in my exclusive Black Brothers playlist ;;;w;;;; speaking of which-- i finally finished your assignment, professor, and there were some REALLY questionable choices in it that made me go "hmmm is this even music or just a bad poetry audiobook with background jingle noise" BUT--

just Carry On alone justifies it, i have it on loops and then Quiet Hours ABSOLUTELY BROKE ME i mean--

Regulus as "Two years yesterday / You ran away" and Sirius as "Just do what you gotta / Just do what'll make you proud" and then both of them as "And I know I'm so far from perfect / Most days feel I'm worthless" and i just can keep quoting the entire thing :'''')

anyway here ya go:

i will give you some stuff to listen to in return on that songs ask thing you sent me soon

[magnusarchivememes]

why shouldnt you pass tma characters the AUX

jon: plays fucking classical music and talks over it the whole time about the history of the composer and makes references to a bunch of historical events you have never heard of

martin: look. i love martin. i adore him. but we all know mr “retro aesthetic” would play the fucking beatles.

tim: instead of having a spotify playlist like a normal person he has a shit ton of meme songs downloaded on his phone to play whenever he gets the aux. if you dont want to listen to moms spaghetti and crawling in my crawl the whole ride do not pass this man the aux.

sasha: plays weird synth indie, not necessarily bad sounding but disconcerting to know that this is the music taste of a woman who can access your social security number

melanie: her taste in music isnt so much “songs that sound good” as it is “songs that sound raw” and she always gets caught up in the emotion and sings along but never bothered learning the real lyrics. the result is her scream singing approximations of los campensinos.

georgie: playlist is a mix of “sad indie” and “heavy metal” and is incredibly jarring. its russian roulette for whoever is driving except instead of getting your head blown off you jump out of your skin as a german man plays an acoustic guitar directly into your speaker

basira: starts playing an audiobook that shes already like halfway through and spaces out listening to it so you cant even ask her about whats going on

daisy: tries to get you into some weird radio drama/podcast youve never heard of, looks over at you every five minutes for your reaction while you have to pretend that youve been paying attention 

elias: would either play white noise to “settle everyones nerves” or play some fucked up recounting of a serial killer or something that no one has the mental energy to hear about

peter lukas: fuck it. sea shanties.

[earlyspringtranscendence]

“my heart contracted”

[dausy]

Its a new month which means I’m going to talk about books again for a minute! This is the biggest list of books I have ever read in a month in my entire life...willingly..like on purpose..I also bought 2 art books that were on sale and I got through the Audible Original Heads Will Roll which I thought was hilarious and I needed it in my life.

mostly the books I read are what I can get for free via libby and my audible subscription and...through youtube....audiobooks are easier for me to get through because I can listen when I’m at the gym or walking the dog or paining. And as much as I like shiny new pages, I cant justify spending money on physical books when I can get them for free thru libby. I usually have an audiobook and a digital book going at the same time. I read the digital one on the treadmill and before I go to sleep at night. So audio goes a lot faster.

Anywho, Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson I started a couple months ago but couldnt finish it in the 12 some odd days libby gives me so I finished it at the beginning of this month. They’re just so long they take up all my energy. I’m finding I dont think Im a fan of complicated magics and probably won’t be able to do high fantasy. I get bored with all the explanation of how things work and why. Which was what my problem was with Legendborn. Technically neither of these books were super difficult to read its just that they require so much explanation from the characters on why things are the way they are that I frankly dont care. I just need to know somebody has boomboompow powers..I don’t want to read the explanation of why. I really thought I’d like fantasy so much more than I do which is just a shocking revelation to me. As much as I’d like to get through more Stormlight archives itll have to be months from now to recharge..which is why I usually go with a kids book for a while after.

malamander was free and kinda dark for a kids book and fun. NeverAfter had a cute premise but honestly sucked even if I wasn’t the target audience. Middlegrade doesn’t have to treat kids like they’re stupid to be a kids book. Dont judge me for Ickabog. I was more curious than I was afraid of the internet and again it was free. This book went from extremely goofy to super DARK to ridiculous and wasn’t worth it. 

Before I get to my favorite books I want to mention Queen of Geek. Which I figure’d Id read one day when I had a moment of nothing immediately available. I identify with online nerd culture and so I did identify with the book to an extent. Except this book is a complete written daydream of a nerd who marysue’d herself into a situation she really wishes would happen. Second hand embarrassment and I honestly think insulting to fandoms. Essentially a fan is recognized by a celebrity in the middle of a convention from their nerdy tumblr posts and the celebrity falls in love with them. Followed by a good ol “and then everybody claps” speech. No. I cant. 

Chain of Gold had nothing probably technically wrong with it (other than a tightlacing trope..are you friggen kidding me?) its just that I’m not familiar with this series and I was told it was a mistake to read this one first.

So favorite books. The Inheritance Games, Good Girl Bad Blood and Winterborne Home2. Loved them. Will read the next sequels that come out.

Shadow and Bone, read purely because the tv show is about to come out. I read Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom when those came out but wasn’t a huge enough fan to read the older books. Well I finally started it. I’ve got Seige and Storm too and I plan to start it when I  paint next..probably.

so yes. wewt

so this next month I’m not sure if I have anything particular to read other than S&S. I’ve got another middle grade book going right now. So we will see.

[mejomonster]

ok but i am LIVING for all of this dmbj content. its making me want to rewatch and cry all over again (and learn to read faster so i can read the books w/o relying on the terrible official eng translations). tlt1 is def romance trope galore, they 100% WENT for it lol. have you gotten to shahai/tomb of the sea yet?

YES

ok i WANT to hear your thoughts on TLT1 PLEASEEEE 

whatever those thoughts are i am Curious

ok me too about the books. I’m reading the english translations right now cause its all I have, so I’ll probs finish them even tho their english translation is mm questionable. Also, merebear translates did the books after in english, and I like their translations! (I have been um... slowly reading dmbj 1 in chinese but. i read so slow i gotta read/finish the english first for more context. i have read chapter 1 of dmbj 1 in chinese so much i have like half of it memorized. hit me up if you want the unofficial audiobooks i’ve found to try n listen along... also on mtlnovel dmbj is on there and you can turn on ‘raw text’ and read the chinese next to a mtl english, which i think makes reading it easier in chinese a bit - tho i think mtlnovel cuts some passages out :/ ) I am DESPERATE to get some time to catchup on the books and have a better idea of book them versus dramas them lol. And i hear the book mystery/supernatural plots get GOOD

(heck if you wanted... i would be a reading partner... if u wanted 2 also try to chug thru the chinese novels. but like i think i Have to read the iffy eng translations first because i Know i cant follow the plot as well without that prior context. also i need some time... i’m working thru 2 other novels rn. my reading level is still T-T bad enough that it takes me 20-40 minutes with a dictionary to get thru a chapter of dmbj in chinese)

i am still desperate to know precisely WHY tf they went with romance trope city for TLT1??? my theory is they were trying to speedrun the xiaoge/wu xie bond (and iron triangle in general), and the fastest way is romance tropes right lol? but also. idk it has no business being as gay as it turns out i am still left wondering why and if the books will eventually give me an Answer as to why pingxie just gets. more n more like this every time mmn.

i have not gotten to tomb of the sea yet. Should I watch it eventually? What am i headed into with minimal spoilers lol? Although my Favorite dmbj theme song/mv is from tomb of the sea

I’ve watched tlt1, to episode 32 of tlt2, to episode 16 of The Lost Tomb Reboot (YES i need to finish i just... i need some free time cause i want to binge it). And then like... mystic nine is on the list after that, and shahai...

u are ALWAYS free to come at me with hot takes or random things about dmbj i am always up for itttttt <3 <3 <3 !!!

.

(also yes i am gonna again drop the fanfic  寒舍 (supernatural au) 夏灬安兰 because i’ve read like 12 chapters of that which is more than i’ve actually read of any of the real novels oops, even tho this fanfic author writes Difficult and it takes me 40+ minutes to get thru a chapter, god they have captured my attention and stolen my heart >o> )

[demimoth]

yo like,,, have some pjo Will Solace headcannons

hes a little baby when it comes to bugs and animals,,, like he's like a two year old. like he has to bend down and say Hi to every single slug they walk past. he has to wave at magpies, its just the rules

he was born out of a teen pregnacy, Naomi got pregnant at like 16

- also, Naomis family were very conseritive and disowned her after she couldnt hide the pregnacy

he came to camp really young, like around 6, becuase he was being hunted by monsters while in texas.

he still visits his mum once a year

he cant play instraments for shit. well, naomi taught him some piano when he was young and he always tried out new instraments and things but he was never passionate about them enough to stick at them

he tried to live at home once (1) after the battle of new york, he only lasted three (3) months, between the monsters and someone spray painting F*ggot on his locker he decided it was best for him to stay at camp

he has a really poor education because he basically dropped out of school at 6. he's smart in terms of like street smarts but he cant even read.

Will cant read english like at all, he regisnises a few words like his name, his mums name, etc but again, he dropped out of school at 6 and has horrible dysexlia like one of the worst cases at camp.

he listenes to audiobooks though, and can read anicent greek okay.

he also has pretty bad adhd but thats really common in the Apollo & Hermes cabin.

he takes medication for his depression and adhd and he deals with it via therapy and stuff

he says it makes him a better doctor because he understands his patients with mental health problems more.

hes super fucking bossy, like mega bossy when it comes to peoples health espeically after they get hurt becuase they didnt listen to him

hes not overprotective, but he'll dote on patients if thats what they need, he's happy to give them space too

he get anxious when he doesn't have a spesfic job, like he knows he's a head medic and thats his job but if you just tell him he needs to help but dont tell him how?? hes going to be a nervous mess, becuase he wants to help but if he doesn't know what hes doing it throws him off.

he loved his older brothers and sisters he lost in the wars and tries to honour them

but sometimes he can get too into making them proud and let himself fall apart a little

he really wants nico to be proud of him (and he is)

will is really comfortable about his sexuality in camp but when he first came out he was a nervous mess, Lee & Michael really helped him though.

he loves pineapple pizza (nico calls him a freak whenever he has it at dinner, or sometimes breakfast)

if one of his siblings gets a cold goes into Annoying Big Brother Mode & teases them a little because colds are rare in the apollo cabin

lmao this is really long but i think im done for now, i love Will Solace so much tho

[oddishfeeling]

i have been living in the most disempowered state for the last few months because of the discomfort that comes with realizing ur old habits no longer suit the present or future u want for urself. its been really difficult to be as painfully honest as ive needed to be in order to inact any lasting change in my life n my habits.

ive even discussed this discrepancy with my friends and coworkers, lazy but ambitious, lazy but actually just secretly afraid of failing, lazy as a habit, lazy as an IDENTIFIER and personality trait— this article was a nice reminder that the language we have with ourselves can give the wrong things power but it can also give the right things power too.

it was also a good reminder of how important we make other people’s opinions of us and how we mistakenly let these opinions define us even tho they hold no real truth or value.

i have felt like ive been screaming in a glass box even tho i built the box n i have the key to the door to get into the box and actually the door isnt locked at all and theres no lock in the door either— the key is a distraction n there to mix me up— all i need to do is turn the handle and walk out

ive felt inhibited in expressing myself for so long that it feels like ive become a bit of a stranger to myself. i lost sight so easily of who i am and what i want n it could easily be that my habits dont align with my authentic self, theres also a high chance depression and anxiety are involved as well and a great deal of discomfort comes from not being able to tell the difference between which issues are what

what i do know is i need to change something if i want to see change and fear of failure of looking dumb n silly of being WRONG.. they are jus tiny bumps in the road to where im going. they are things i can learn to deal with in a healthy way n theyre things we all experience. i cant let concerns and fears as regular as these keep me from at least trying or keep me from knowing its ok for me to fail! how am i supposed to get anything done this way.

anyways ive read a lot of things. articles and books or whatever. ive listening to a lot of things too, audiobooks and podcasts. and ive probably watched more things than both of those two categories. youtube videos, ted talks, movies, tv shows. and ive been inspired in all three ways.

but like motivation, inspiration is not enough

this article inspired me and another one i read yesterday was so inspiring i was still thinking about it late last night

but i still didnt change anything. i didnt do anything differently last night. in fact if im being honest i was even less productive than i usually am n that’s not saying much

the unchecked boxes in my bulletjournal sometimes get together n laugh. they laugh at all my good intentions in all their empty boxedness.

i keep waiting for something to change me 😭 maybe because in the past, any changes were made from an external source. good or bad they happened to me. it’s almost like i dont think i have the true ability to inact any lasting positive change in my life, let alone multiple. maybe this is part of becoming older. realizing ur control and what attempts to take it away.

ive only ever envisioned a life for myself that was of my own making. 🗣i want to create my life🗣

slowly but surely i go

feb 20, 2019