#i cant do it for long stretches at a time

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw

[clodiuspulcher]

today im thinking about malaria in ancient rome.

about the fact that P. falciparum (the most dangerous kind of malaria) was likely endemic at least from the 2nd century BC onward that Galen said semitertian fevers (P. falciparum infections) were more common in Rome than anywhere else in the Roman Empire that the most severe manifestations of P. falciparum (quotidian fevers + cerebral malaria) were most common in babies and young children, an epidemiological observation that indicates the transmission rate of P. falciparum was extremely high in Rome that Quintus Serenus said there was no Latin word for semitertian fevers (they used a transliteration of the Greek, 'hemitritaeos') because "no one, i think, could have named it in our language and mothers would not have wanted to"

[halforcdad]

nightwatch 2 was a great episode! and it really built on all the good stuff that came from nightwatch 1: a look at the teams' personal lives, a killer fight scene, and good emotional storytelling. it's definitely meant to be a happier episode, though, and it does it well by showing positive progression for the characters (kai finally opening up to someone, chase helping ernie learn to stay still and being a friend) and in particular, lucy and of course kacy. as lucy sums up in the beginning of the episode, nightwatch 2 celebrates kacy's awesomeness as a couple (and as individuals) and how far they've come.

nightwatch 2 is filled with a lot of great parallels that help the episode come together as a fitting full circle moment:

lucy being called in during a date and being forced to go fetch whistler because she's the only one who knows whistler's routine vs. whistler already being there because she knows lucy's routine and taking care of lucy's a big part of whistler's routine now, and she immediately jumps to help lucy. whistler being asked to help in s1 on her off day because they needed her vs. whistler not being needed but staying on her off day anyway because she wants to be there to support the team and lucy

whistler outright asking about the cupcake and the anniversary message (in our fridge! bc they live together!), the open dialogue between them this episode compared to s1 nightwatch when they were walking on eggshells around each other because of confusing relationship status (are we friends or just exes) and things left unsaid (whistler's promotion and lucy's loved confession)

kate and lucy finishing each other's jokes, proudly showing off their chemistry in front of ernie, kate openly showing her worry and outrage in front of tennant when she could barely acknowledge lucy in front of their colleagues before (whistler even going as far as basically telling tennant she didn't agree with the decision to leave lucy alone with joe and keep hpd out of it).

their strong chemistry and banter is still there in 1x20, but it dies a quick death when the conversation, naturally, gets more personal and crashes into the gigantic wall erected between them after the breakup. throughout s2 (and especially in 2x19 and 2x20), it's allowed to flourish and develop, it's so apparent and obvious it ends up constantly on the receiving end of Ernie's teasing comments ('heart-eyes' and 'so now you're a comedy team')

lucy getting to show off how she's matured and grown since her time afloat, properly reading the situation with joe, talking him down, not panicking even with a gun trained on her and him getting violent with her, and handling the situation almost singlehandedly

kate showing her growth and experience as an agent, coming in with the timely rescue to save both lucy and joe (taking out the guy who hurt/tried to kill lucy ala lucy taking out andrea medina, whistler being able to prevent Lucy from looking like the bloody mess she was in 1x20)

1x20 parallel with the tables turning on lucy, she's the one getting scolded this time for going off on her own, whistler's the one getting upset at her for almost getting killed and fussing over lucy using the compress (an elbow to the face eliciting the same frustrated reaction as blood, head trauma, and a cracked rib makes me feel something). funny enough, both times their arguing is interrupted by their bosses arriving. while lucy talks up kate to curtis even tho she's mad at her, kate doesn't even attempt to hide her offense from tennant at lucy waltzing back into danger and leaving her ice pack. (also Whistler being so annoyed and concerned for lucy's safety she gets involved as backup on a case she and fbi have absolutely no role in Lol)

whistler hugging a crying lucy at the crime scene in front of their colleagues, whistler in nightwatch 1 having to stand there helplessly, watching lucy cry because lucy doesn't want her to talk or come closer, while whistler in nightwatch 2 is allowed to do exactly that to comfort lucy after her emotionally grueling day.

in 1x20, they end the episode separated with lucy walking away while 2x20 ends with lucy moving closer to kate at the crime scene and at the bar

kate spends the latter half of s1 chasing after lucy, trying to win her back. kate can't go after lucy at the end of 1x20 because of injury and lucy telling her not to say anymore, obviously asking for space and distance so kate's left there alone. after they finally talk in a roundabout interrogation (lol) in 1x21, they're friends again, and they're supposed to move on, kate finally stops chasing.

then we get to 2x20 and kate spends the episode trailing after lucy (she's still going): she heads to pearl to see lucy on nightwatch, goes after lucy after she walks out of the conference room to make sure she has backup, goes after lucy when she's in trouble on the boat, and walks up behind her after joe leaves. lucy handles a lot of the case on her own, but kate is always right around the corner in case she needs her.

lucy being on unsteady footing all of nightwatch 1 because she just came from a date and is now suddenly thrust into a case with her ex, had to see her looking hot at the beach, had to see the aftermath of said ex getting beaten up by a trained assassin knowing how close she was to dying, had to hear about a promotion her ex turned down to stay close to her and throwing everything she knew and assumed about their relationship for a loop, had to somehow pull herself together after finding out her ex did in fact care and was serious about them and still broke her heart anyway. lucy is hit with nonstop emotional blow after emotional blow and can't trust her feelings or her judgement. being around whistler just makes it worse so she puts some distance between them, moving back when she steps closer, leaving when she tries to talk.

lucy in nightwatch 2 is steady and sure the entire episode. she starts the case off in 1x20 rattled, but she starts off 2x20 happy and excited, she's in a good stable relationship that leaves no room for doubts, is able to trust her feelings and intuition about joe, is able to appeal emotionally to him and when she finally does let herself cry at the end, she can lean on whistler, wants nothing more than to be around whistler. whistler's a steady pillar for her in nw2 vs. the unsteady, emotional minefield she was in nw1

both cases in 1x20 and 2x20 leave lucy feeling terrible for different reasons. in the former, kate is the cause, the lingering pain from the breakup + seeing kate hurt + finding out about the promotion are a deadly mix for lucy. in the latter, kate isn't the problem, she's the support. she's there physically and emotionally for lucy, doesn't hesitate to tell her she was right and how proud she is of her while in 1x20 its more implied when she mentions medina's takedown, like kate is afraid she might say too much, push too far. the ending of 1x20 leaves both lucy and kate emotionally devastated, lucy finally letting all her emotions out and then steeling herself to go on a date to try to move on and forcing herself to have fun. at the end of 2x20, she goes on a date with whistler, nothing's forced (except whistler wanting them to diligently follow the script LMAO) lets herself be silly and do things like steal whistlers fries, breaking character, both of them laughing at themselves, being free and easy and comfortable

zero stakes because we're two strangers in a bar and youre only here visiting from dc so this'll be a fun hookup vs. zero stakes because this literally a zero stakes non-anniversary, we're just having fun on a date, reliving a moment neither of us knew would change our lives forever, in a comfortable, committed relationship we never thought we would have, sharing an intimacy we couldn't have before. zero stakes because ill never see you again vs. zero stakes because I love you and us and nothings going to change that

whistler being all touchy feely at the bar, leaning in super close and touching her hand, relaxed and comfortable vs. whistler in 1x10 still visibly trying to let her guard down even in an exclusive pop-up restaurant with almost no chance of seeing anyone from work, and still surprising lucy by reaching out across the table to hold her hand, being so hush-hush about their relationship that even something as simple as that in public was a big milestone for them. a whistler who's in love and not shy to show it vs. a whistler still trying to come to terms with everything and make the leap

whistler being hesitant about most of lucy's date ideas in s1 to now being super excited to recreate their first meeting, being on board with lucy's unconventional non-anniversary celebration, being able to let go and have fun with her unabashedly

lucy meeting whistler the first time at the bar she'd go to compartmentalize and be seen as a regular person outside of her job, whistler who was so remarkable she helped lucy forget for an entire weekend vs. lucy going back to that bar with whistler, winding down after a tough case and having someone shoulder that weight with her, someone who's ready to comfort her and stand with her (whether it's reassuring that lucy did the right thing or reassuring her that this date idea isn't silly and is actually super romantic), who also knows how to take her mind off it, whos helping her through it with love and compassion because she knows the job, understands the struggle she's going through, was there for her during the final confrontation and wants to be there for her now. lucy doesnt have to hide or swerve around her job, she can be open about it and share it with whistler, whistler who met lucy tara retail worker or lucy tara finance broker first, whistler who wanted things to be professional, but ended up falling for lucy anyway, whistler who's always seen and known lucy the person underneath it all. recreating their first meeting is a cute non-anniversary date idea, but it also helps separate them from the case and the day they've had, let's lucy be lucy from hawaii and whistler be kate from dc and lets them live in a happy moment from the past with all the perks of their present day relationship

I think Yasmine sums it up perfectly in the interview she gave about the episode: “That was fun to play in this scene especially because since it is a recreation, it’s the trying to be how we used to be and playing all of that out. But then clearly obviously we have a relationship now and just seeing the transformation from where I know Kate was to where Kate is and the fact that she even wants to do this is, I just think it’s so adorable and it’s so cute and Lucy loves that.”

how far they've come indeed

also kai trying to eat his spam musubi and lucy trying to eat her junk food and getting interrupted by a person (johnson and whistler) and then the case is the best parallel of all time

[aggghhhhh71279534]

im gonna say it BEING FAT FUCKING SUCKS!!! STOP PRETENDING IT DOESNT!!!! BEING FAT IS AWFUL!!!

[jwooyoung]

feeling like I'm losing my mind lately with how the pain/stiffness in my hands has been rapidly getting worse and worse to the point where most days I wake up and can barely bend my fingers when it literally started like. a MONTH ago ? maybe six weeks at this point but definitely not super long ?? like it almost feels like it's an injury and not what I think it might be (some kind of arthritis) cause it's been so sudden but it has also been happening to my ankles for a longer period of time so I'm like well :/// can't have hurt myself in ALL FOUR extremities without knowing :///

[vampiremourning]

dare i hope?

[2oul2ilver]

Do mobile emulators just. Glitch out or something if you don't access them regularly? I think I lost my Crystal file and that's the second time now where I wasn't playing emulated games for a bit and the app just. Seems to lose any and all sense of what games are on my phone, never mind the save data.

[bugbxyjunk]

words cant explain how much i don't want to go to school

[bunnihearted]

🏠🐇☁️🥛

[sodrippy]

umm i thought if i was just more active and mindful and not in a freezing house i wouldnt get fucked up traps and a pinched nerve and migraines. what gives.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

No hate at all ( I wish you the best) but it is so funny that your blog is called opens up 4 no one but you have all those ... journal entry things. You open up for everyone all the time (again it's very interesting), but the irony is just so funny.

My username comes from my favorite song when I was in like 8th grade (little house by the fray (one of the most emo cringe songs ever lol)). But yea the irony is not lost on me, it's bc I don't talk to anyone irl 🙃

[wabblebees]

i love being sick. ive been taking my cold meds by putting the little 20mL medicine cup in a line of shotglasses with cranberry juice in them. its like enrichment in my enclosure. bc otherwise i will think about how miserable i am being sick rn and probably die about it idk

[4giorno]

omggg i can sit up again 🎉

[digestionmachine]

snow mesa, colorado trail, july 2022

[arolesbianism]

The Joshua section of my oni playlist is looking great so far

[x-crowmancer-x]

The Body, The Brain, and Me!

Explained to a friend recently how I see myself in three parts: body, brain, myself (soul?)

The Body is also the flesh mech that The Brain and I pilot. They can pass on feelings to the brain but cannot speak words so theres a bit of a communication issue. Sometimes The Brain is being so loud that The Body ends up being ignored. They would definitely roll their eyes when Brain and I ask why we're miserable bc they tried to let us know we havent eaten all day. They can also contribute to Brain's panic mode, leading us to think a simple headache is a sign The Brain is dying, which worsens the panic.

The Brain is in charge of emotions and sometimes makes too many panic chemicals or has a phrase set on repeat for hours (crazy? I was crazy once... they put me in a-). The Brain often jumps to conclusions too quickly and we need to work out the steps to make it make more sense. One time we were convinced we were allergic to strawberries while eating strawberries. At night he likes when we talk about our day and sorta catalogue events. Sometimes The Brain does this thing where it'll feel like a live hive of bees has made its home in our thought process. Classic and very loud, the Brain Bees. We dont know if Brain Soup is better or worse.

Either one is preferable as long as it isnt a 'Leave Your Body Lemonade' bad time.

Me. Is.... ME! We dont really know what I am? Starstuff? Energy? A spirit? Who knows! I know the things I like, dislike, love and obsess over, what things I've experienced and can recall, the feelings I've had, the scrapes and bruises throughout life, the morals I choose to abide by. There may not be another ME in the entirety of the Universe, and we'll never know otherwise, but I really like being here. I think animals and plants and people are really neat to experience :) I'd like to think of myself as very fluid. As more of an experience than material being? When unsure of a label, a silly funny little space clown guy always works!

All together, we're a bit of a mess, but I want to reassure my co-pilots that it'll be okay and that life is still great and not bad all the time cuz... animals are really cool! They're so cool and we get to be around them!!! Like snakes!!!! They're so cute!!!!!

Dont take this as seprate entities, they're all me, just different departments of a mall??