#i cant control

[ot3]

i dont like the idea that kids these days are doing their fandom rps with ai chatbots. that's how you're supposed to make lifelong friends as a weird really online teen.

[littlegothfairy]

They are wrong and know that

We won't be the ones who change

although I end up arguing back 🤩

[cyancees]

i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing

[inkskinned]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.

[pisstorymuseum]

rare fiddauthor happiness moment

[hinamie]

sry i have chronic only draws megumi disorder the doctor said it's terminal :/

[ghosted-jazz]

Black Mercy

[stervrucht]

How I feel after finally finishing that long-ass chapter...

[starridge]

yeah

[bleekay]

doodles from today cause i had a thought: water tribe dragon-blood boy who despite every attempt could not hide his true nature, and fire nation dragon-blood boy who despite every attempt could never take full dragon form

sokka maims himself in an attempt to look more human, breaking off his own horns, cutting his ears, picking at his scales, but everyone sees what he really is. the dragons were responsible for so much death and destruction and he hates being their kind, and so he runs. meanwhile, being able to embrace the dragon in him is all zuko ever wanted, his royal bloodline expecting it of him, but he fails and he fails and is humiliated, tortured, and cast out for his weakness.

on the shores they meet.

or something! :)

[emptea-headed]

Hello everyone! I’ve made it to over 1000 followers recently, and my dom and I agreed to make one of these posts to celebrate!

This post will run until October 16th Noon EST

*Edges and/or ruins controlled by my dom will not count towards this post, and if he makes me cum I must start all over again.

Edit: Spamming is encouraged by the way ☺️ I love the idea of an unobtainable goal

Edit 2: Edges from this post will be completed in the shortest amount of time as possible, which will obviously fry my brain as much as possible because that’s the whole point ☺️

Every one note is an edge I have to do, but special goals include:

Every 5 likes is an edge with mint chapstick on my clit and/or nipples

Every 5 reblogs is an edge I have to do with a dildo in, but no touching my clit

Every 5 comments is an edge I have to do with sensory deprivation

Every 20 likes is a minute I have to wear nipple and/or clit clamps while edging

Every 40 likes is an edge I have to do without a sex toy or my hands, anything else is fair game

Every 50 comments is a ruin followed immediately by smacking my cunt until its tingly

Every 100 of all is an edge I can have only by smacking my cunt and clit

Every 500 of all is an edge with the tens unit

Edit: If this post can get to 1000 notes, I will hard edge as many times in a row as I can handle (whatever the end result may be) with my legs tied open so I have no choice but to feel it and submit to it more and more

Edit: if this can get to 1500 then I’ll do nothing but ruins for a whole week, minimum 5 a day

[karda]

the innate horror of google earth

[pandadrake]

Shots fired by the Spider-man sequels.

Was ruminating on how Miles and Miguel are technically both 'Spider-man 2' in their respective universes. Got me thinking about the other Spider-successors in the cast, and also what if they all got matching T-shirts or something.

[hemlock-dreams]

Wip of Spiderman's berserker mode-

When Spiderman is in a legitimate holy fuck life-or-death situation, (or when his spider senses go from 0-Thanos Just Popped in and is Gunning for me) his body automatically burns its entire store of venom in one big burst, giving him a massive boost in all his powers for 10-15 minutes.

This is the ultimate state of fight-or-flight. He can't control when or if it happens.

When he's in burn, Spiderman's only objective is to survive- either by putting down the threat or getting away from it as fast as possible.

During burn, everything is enhanced- his speed, his strength, his healing factor, etc. He feels little to no pain and fights with the single goal of coming out alive on the other side. He's not necessarily mindless, but he also doesn't hold anything back and will fight to kill if that's what he thinks will give him the best chance of survival.

In this state, he's powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with a fairly serious Thor. However, going through burn is EXTREMELY traumatic for the body, and coming out of it is just as dangerous as going in.

When it's over, Peter is pretty much catatonic/comatose for a few days while his body heals- and basically as powerless as a civilian while his body restores enough venom to put him back into a balanced state.

To date, it's only happened twice (and is the original reason he caught Kraven's attention.)

TLDR: Spiderman's venom works on himself as well, but in a more extreme fashion.

[dosthoeyevsky]

in light of recent news, one of my favourite tiktokers is here to slap some sense into every american with progressive leanings and a pulse.