#i cant believe i spent 5 hours making this shit
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Aaaaahgdh im overwhelmed
#spent 8 days w my bf and im upset#not bc of him#just. he wakes up at 12 and I followed him on that and now im upset im a morning person and have so much to do#he doesnt pay bills he doesnt do grown up shit and I do i have to clean and he is so loud#im just overwhelmed by the 5 hours of travel we just did and not following my routine#and the noises it hurts my ears so much when we watch tv and its loud#and its like I gotta do tgings his way not bc he wants me to but bc my whole life I was made to believe i shouldn't do things my way#and after a week I cant keep applying what I learned in therapy so old habits come back#like I said i wasnt gonna let him make me sleep in again and he said sorry sorry sorry and I'm like tf you apologizing for I agreed to sle#and then he said its bc I got mad so I said i didnt just like my mom used to deny bad feelings#so when I said actually I did get mad I apologize but it isnt a reason for u to apologize over and over#he said I sounded like his mom.#im trying to be emotionally mature.#goddamit#also im sexually frustrated hungry and overwhelmed by lack of routine and alone time and noise#so.#.#vent#vent in the tags#relationship#BUT HE ALSO TAKES CARE OF ME SO WELL#like he understands my triggers is super careful and gives me so much love. his family is also awesome and he does do things when I ask#but it seems our daily needs are very contradictory and it overwhelms me thats all#also his mom is so sweet.
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If you are ever thinking of an autistic person and say to yourself "I never really have to make any/many accomodations for them."
Yeah.
That is because WE are the ones making the accomodations for YOU.
You always hear about how we need all this support and patience but no one ever talks about the sacrafices ASD people make for he NTs in our lives that they never even see or know about.
Oh, you think I am "well spoken?" Thats cuz i spent a ridiculous amount of time rehearsing my lines and facial expressions to make sure they meet your liking.
I don't seem to have any sensory issues? My guy, i have nerve damage from raw dogging the pain. You ever watch a lactose intolerant person eat dairy? They aint gonna shit their pants in front of you. You dont have to follow them into he bathroom to believe them.
Oh you mean you dont remember me ever having a meltdown? I locked myself on the bathroom to have my "temper tantrums" in private since i was 5 years old.
You think I dont stim? Let me roll up my sleeves and show you the gashes and scars from clawing myself under my shirt. The inside of my mouth looks like a crime scene. I can taste the blood. You cant. I would much rather be "squirming" or wearing very strong perfume but i know that bothers people so i find another way.
You think i am "smart?" Yeah i might be, but that is because i am constantly using my problem solving skills to quietly and covertly solve problems i am not "supposed" to have. Problems that would never even occur to you. Problems you would never even know about because i am fucking terrified of what people would say if they knew it takes me 3 hours to get dressed and shower sometimes.
I have given myself perminant nerve damage just because i was afraid to make other people even a little uncomfy.
You understand body language because it comes naturally to you.
I understand body language because it comes naturally to you.
We are not the same.
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i think the thing i hated the most about the public abuse campaign against amber heard in 2022 is that even well-intentioned but ignorant people to the entirety of the details in the case were saying things like "amber is an imperfect victim but she is still a victim" because they knew she would fight back and would try and negotiate with her abuser sometimes instead of just leaving like society thinks you should do.
and this is building off the previous post about the two types of child abuse because it allows applies to how we treat domestic violence as a society as well. amber heard was a perfect victim, her abuse story was textbook open and shut.
she grew up in an household witnessing DV between her parents. she is a bisexual woman. she was a young starting actress when she met johnny depp, at half his age. at this time, depp ALREADY had a history of public drunkness and violence because he was well into his 40s, maybe 50s at the time.
he was amazing to her in the first months of dating, maybe even a year. then he hit her for the first time after she makes a joke at his expense and she was shocked.
she knew abuse was wrong. she knew the behavior was unacceptable. but this wasnt her boyfriend. this wasnt the man she knew. she had never seen him act this way before, there were no signs up until now. he was so loving. he was drunk and probably high anyways. maybe it was a one time thing. he was so sorry afterwards. she gave him another chance because it had been months of living together (or at the very least spending weeks holed up with one another only!!!!!! red flag af) in perfect harmony at this point.
he goes back to normal. things are better than before. he pulls out all the stops. hes caring towards her friends and family. she feels like he cares about her safety still at this point. obviously he didnt want to hurt her. obviously he just lost control.
it happened again. and again. and again. each time the cycle gets faster. each time, the abuse more violent.
it leads to sexual assault. she's married him at this point. this is on their honeymoon i believe. she feels embarrassed. she spent 5 years putting up with him. she feels the most violated ever. she doesn't know what to do. she's ashamed. she tries to make it work again.
it leads to the worst attack on her life. she was worried she was going to die. over a dog shitting on their bed when she was out of town. her friend called the police to de escalate the situation because he wasnt listening to anyone's explanations and accusing everyone of conspiring against him. it sounded lethal over the phone. they were worried for her safety.
the police come but everyone has already calmed down at that point. she is ashamed of what has happened so publically at this point. she knows she cant stay. she knows he doesnt care about her safety finally. she leaves. she files for divorce and alleges abuse as the reason why.
she has YEARS of testimony. he paid doctors to drug her. he wrote awful texts about wanting to rape her corpse. he called her a lesbian camp counselor and made her apologise for being bisexual and having women friends. there are videos of him being violent and slamming doors around her drunk and incoherent rambling. you can tell she doesnt want him to see the camera but she needs the proof. she knows nobody will believe her without proof.
she has dozens many hundreds of photos of the abuse. she has MEDICAL TESTIMONY FROM HER THERAPISTS AND HIS THERAPIST HE FORCED HER TO ATTEND WITH HIM.
he convinces her to drop the abuse allegations and sign AN NDA after a hours long conversation his lawyer would leak to the public in a future lawsuit as part of a smear campaign against her.
she waits until he speaks publically about the abuse allegations in an interview before she writes an article about protecting women legally who are abuse victims and states she was "a figure representing domestic violence publically" or something to that affect.
he files a defamation lawsuit against her and the newpapers calling him a wife beater as a result. he loses in a country where liberaci won his defamation lawsuit for the press calling him gay publically.
he files another defamation lawsuit against her, a tactic that is well documented as an abuser DARVO tactic online with advocacy groups everywhere. he files it in a country with terrible media laws and in a state with even worse laws protecting DV victims.
he gets a famous alt right misinformation company to spend thousands of dollars running a social media smear campaign with bots.
he wins the defamation lawsuit because people genuinely believe a grown woman alleging abuse shat in this man's bed as an elaborate plot to abuse him and steal his money and fame or something??????????????
this is like clear cut perfect victimhood. if amber heard isnt a perfect victim, who the fuck is??????
not that i agree with perfect versus imperfect victimhood because its such a gross concept imho to ascribe to but like she is definitely a perfect victim.
and it all stems from the fact that society doesnt understand how someone can choose to stay with an abusive partner for years before leaving that relationship. society doesn't understand how someone can grow up witnessing abuse as a sign of love and that changing their perspecting on what real love should look like.
idk like i genuinely think about amber heard all the fucking time and all the abuse victims that summer destroyed emotionally and mentally witnessing yall behave like that. and yall just moved on. yall moved on. you ruined that woman's life and all she wanted to do was be honest about her truth and be believed. yall stole that from her and you told every abuse victim watching that you are not a safe person to be around and then yall just... moved on.
well im still at the restaurant, this is the corner im haunting for the rest of my life. i cannot accept it, it breaks my heart when i think about it.
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things i will never confess:
i hate princeton and kate (esp when theyre together)
lucy x kate is the enemies to lovers ever
i think nicky being straight actually makes sense (but i hate it and refuse to believe) and i think i would be a bit predictable and pandering if they made rod and nicky date in canon
the concept of ricky is so fucking hilarious. his entry is one of the most hilarious moments of the musicals (esp john tartaglia's reaction in the obc)
the bad idea bears are secretly my favourite characters
i spent 5 hours learning the rod harmony in fantasies come true
why does noone appreciate jennifer barnhart in the obc??? she literaly had to puppeteer EVERY PUPPET during that show. she was a bear and ms T, puppeted lucy, rod, princeton and kate at different points and right handed nicky and trekkie. she played EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER. she had to lipsync tartaglia and d'abruzzo at MULTIPLE PLACES and did it flawlessly!!!
on that topic what the fuck type of magic did d'abruzzo hsrness when she did any of the kate and lucy scenes??? like WHAT??
the dialouge in fantaises come true is gen so ass. its a crime they didnt keep "no more cruising by for chicks. we can suck eat others dicks" the exception is "you look like david hasslehoff" that shit is actually so fire and johntartag rod's reaction is my Roman empire
special is the best solo
all the full casts songs are really good i genuienly cant decide which ones the best
why are they abusing the clarinet player
#avenue q#musicals#hot take#jkjj its not that srs#this is lowkey me yapping bc where else would i voice this#kylepxr yap#rod avenue q#princeton avenue q#kate monster#i cant be fucked actually
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pro-tip from someone who has had stretches pf insomnia like this since high school: (bc your posts makes it sound like a new development and like youre scared, so i want to help. sorry this unsolicited)
but literally?? fake it
fake sleeping. youre going to lie down, close your eyes, shift when youre uncomfortable, but keep your eyes closed and stay laying down. try to keep your mind as blank as possible, thats really hard for me specifically, so i legit will listen to videos or podcasts or music or ocean-waves as i fake-sleep (bonus, i found something that works for me 60, 70% of the time are those ASMR roleplay videos where it'll be like "your boyfriend/girlfriend talks to you while you sleep" or "you get confessed to while youre asleep" or literally anything where i have to "roleplay" being asleep?? weirdly? flips a switch and ill be KOed before the video ends. what the fuck. but thats niche as hell, idk if itll work for you, but it is an "experiment! you never know" encouragement)
and youre going to want to fake-sleep as best as you can, even if youre actually awake the whole 8+ hours, because it legit tricks your brain into thinking youre asleep enough that it gives you those chemicals you need from sleeping that help regenerate your energy and whatnot. like scientists found this works really well, insomniacs who did this instead of their phone or tasks or reading, even if they rarely fell asleep while fake-sleeping, not only recorded feeling a lot better than the control group who was not given this order to sleep like this, but also had more balanced chemical stuff. i like to akin ir to a cell-phone charge. youre not going to get the 100% you would from actually sleeping, but going from a 20% to a 65% is still p huge and very helpful. before i was told this tip, i literally would meditate to recoup; and shockingly meditation releases those same chemicals so like. i was already doing it. just. sitting up instead of laying down lol
also, please do talk to a doctor about getting a sleep study done or something if you have the insurance to afford it. but this is a tip you can do in the meantime in addition to other experimentations thatll help you out. youll still feel exhausted (esp if you cant quiet your brain. my AuDHD mind shuts the fuck when other people speak, so the audio-roleplay and podcast and video-essay people have been god-sends), you won't be that 100% refresh as i already said, but it also wont be AS compounded of an exhaustion which is so helpful when your metaphorical battery is just going down and down and down— to have SOMETHING charge it even a bit or just stall it. i dont want you to think this is a "youll feel back to normal!" cure-all; it truly is the epitome of a "well, thatll help it not get WORSE at any rate, and maybe a bit better" type of rhetoric
for now, i would recommend doing a fake-nap, pick x-amount of hours that feels most comfortable to you (my pick is usually 3 or 4, but my lil sister found she prefers 2 hour long fake-naps and my other lil sister just goes "fuck it, no fake-nap, only fake-sleep; im doing 8+ hours" lmao), see if it at least takes the edge off
i have said a lot of "temper your expectations" type of stuff but i will also say this: at one point, this tip literally saved my life. because i spent 2.5 months running on a total of 4 to 6 hours of legit-sleep per week or per week-and-a-half throughout. and that kinda shit, i belatedly found out, should mean i should be dead. but i was fake-sleeping at least 5 hours a night. and my family's doctor went "uhhhhh thank god i showed your mom that study i guess, omfg". so like. i swear it helps. just. ALSO temper your expectations on how much it helps lol
if this is unsolicited and feels unwarranted, i apologize. im not good at reading tone in text, and just wanted to help. i hope this does help you out, you got this, i believe in you!!
Hey no worries, I appreciate you taking the time to type all this out. Recently (like, within the past one to two years or so) I’ve been more prone to bouts of restlessness and the fake sleeping is actually something I practice and it does help me most of the time. I think right now it’s more of a stress induced sort of thing more than anything that’s led to me having more trouble. Might just be one of those things I gotta wait out to be honest. When I do have a moment where I can’t sleep right it doesn’t last more than a few days normally so I don’t imagine this being different I hope. Maybe seeing a doctor would help but I’ll be honest there’s a probably a few things I should be seeing a doctor about and I just don’t have the money for that lol. But still like I said I appreciate you taking the time to try and help me out and offer some advice that’s very kind of you 🫶
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the holidays are always really fucking weird, i dont like many of them but specifically December is just- ew
Anyway ill just thro my mini pitty party real quick:
These song explains how I feel about christmas time *perfectly*
Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas by mother mother (christmas playlist)
From heres basically a trauma dump about being in the hospital, but i typically talk about this in a tone more like "oh yea! i nearly died lmao"
When i was like, just turning 6 I had 💫pneumonia💫 & needed to go to the 💫hospital💫. So I spent like, 12/11-31/15 in the hospital. along the way i had these treats happen (not really in order, 💜=story from family member, ❤=i actually remember this)
💜being diagnosed by my sisters 16 yo boyfriend by looking at my gums, whereas medical staff took 4 days
❤Some mcdonalds, cool auntys banana bread, jello & making popin cookin sets w/ my older sister
💜a 5 day medically induced coma
lung surgery therefor cool fuckin scars on my back (WHICH I CANT FUCKING SHOW ANYONE CAUSE I WAS CURSED W/ TITS AND 2/3 ARE UNDER MY BRA)
💜waking up from said coma periodically only to say "im scared" w/ my mom trying to comfort me but i had ear shit going on
💜Finnaly actually woke up, yelled "IM DEAD", which is reportadly the scariest shit my dad has ever heard, my mom asks if i hurt, i say yes, she like "ur not dead honey" again i was 6 & in & out of a coma 😂 (idk why but I've always found that story funny)
💜my parents being thretened w/ truancy by my dumbass school
❤Christmas, I had *2* mini christmas trees in my hospital room 💅 1 was cool but my cool uncle & aunty got me a pink 1 which I still have to this day as a lamp
💜only trusting 1 of my doctors cause he looked like my grandfather who'd been deceased for 2years at that point
❤💜going on walks around the kids floor in a wheelchair & stealing a little gingerbread beanie baby ornament but they didnt care so they just let me keep it & i still have it somehwere.
💜my mom met a lady who had a son who was a few months old & they didnt expect to live past a couple weeks but he *did* (more on that later)
💜had food in the cafeteria and i proceeded to rub the pizza i got *into my hair*. My response? "Its just cheese" my family and I quote that to this day lmao.
💜being reverted to a toddler for a good minute (someone asked my age i said i was 3, i was not) & needing to relearn walking, talking, the little bit of reading i knew & getting into a shower w/out being scared of being pulled down the drain
❤said dude who asked my age worked at the hospital cafeteria & we visited him after most of my appointments. miss u uncle (that was what he went by), wish u well. Dont know where he since covid cause the part of the building cafeteria was in was torn down.
❤and after all that later and i got releaced on new years eve :>
results:
From there forward i had a 20-30minute nebulizer to do every 4 hours (which my parents had to wake up at like 2am for a half hour for), 2 twice daily inhailers, 2 nasil sprays, "the tire" (tastes like shit and makes me feel anxious) (that isnt even all of it my mom counted 8 meds at one point) and i slowly dropped them year by year till they had me down to just rescue inhailer as needed & if my lungs r really shit for a min i go on the tire. (Tire=prednisolone but what 6 year old is remembering that name lol)
specialist appointments every week, then 2 weeks, then every month, 3 months, 6 months, now im at checkup every year and check in as needed
"Look whos inside again" by bo burnham is my life in a nutshell
To this day the smell of a consentrated area of hand sanatizer just has me stop in my tracks lol.
seeing a picture of tiny me on my parents facebook feed yearly of me unconscious in a hospital bed w/ tubes in mah face
couple of close friend i met post hospital (keep in mind i was like 7) didn't believe me so i ran around the playground cursing them the fuck out (never did get in trouble for that 😂) ((I still talk to 1 of them shes cool))
Idk where to put this but about that kid I was talking about before, I found out last year around this time he had just died- of 💫pneumonia💫. yea that fucked me up for a good minute, he was around 6 too which didn't help, I never even met the kid and I still had a weird form of survivors guilt.
Anyway have a merry fucking christmas i really dont get this holiday lol, treat yourself kindly, feel free to be the grinch you are and explain in detail why u hate the holidays u arent alone lol
#tw hospital#cw hospital#health#hospital#medicine#tw medication#tw medical#asthma#Asthmatic#Im a grinch#the grinch#fuck christmas#xmas#christmas#holidays#merry fucking christmas#good afternoon#vent#personal vent#tw vent#trauma dump#vent post
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The last thing I said to him was,
Why do I give a fuck if you block me?
You fucking hate me, bro.
_
I blocked him.
And he's been blowing up my shit ever since.
_
This all happened around 11am.
I haven't attempted to speak to him since.
Yet
The last text he sent (blocked folder) was 8pm.
Yeahhh...
_
This is after he spent all night (last night) verbally abusing me for 5 hours.
Dumping me.
Undumping me.
Me waking up crying today, realizing how traumatized I was by the night before.
Expressing this to him in a civilized way.
Idk if you can even see this and I think even less that you care. But I woke up crying this morning about that fight last night. There was definitely a level of disrespect and cruelty that was unnecessary. I didn't cheat on you or steal from you or something. I literally was trying to have a conversation about you treating me better and your response was to spend hours talking to me like a dog. I knew it wasn't right in the moment but idk let myself get sucked in somehow. But now I keep playing certain parts over and over in my mind. Or rather my mind just keeps playing it over and over, whether I like it or not. But we shouldn't still be in a situation where you're so verbally abusive to me that I'm traumatized by it the next day. And I'm sorry but I can not get past the irony all of this is because I asked you to treat me better. And the result couldn't have been more opposite. Even IF I said you were "wrong" (which I never said), you can't just verbally attack people and scream at them for hours and call them every name in the book because they're upset with you. I DID NOT do that to you last night. Not at any point. And you ripped me to shreds. I definitely didn't and haven't EVER done anything to deserve that. You acted like I'm someone or something who I'm not. All because you're angry that I want you to treat me NOT like that? Smh. Sigh. Waking up first thing in the morning and crying at 9am because someone spent all night yelling at me and calling me a stupid cunt and telling me how horrible I am for hours isn't ok. No, I'm not perfect. Nobody is. But I'm pretty goddamn good to you. Regardless of the reprehensible shit you've done to me more times than either of us can count. And I did not deserve that at all. Idk why you'd even want to talk to ANYONE who you believe all those things about. I'm not worth my weight in dirt according to you. Sigh. I'm not trying to fight again. I just realize I'm really not ok today. And last night fucked w me a lot worse than I realized. You haven't spoken to me that way in years. If ever. And it never should've escalated to that, especially not over something so honestly innocuous. If I'm not allowed to tell you I'm not happy without you making sure I'm miserable and tearing me down as a result of speaking up, that's extremely unhealthy and irrational. You cant talk to people and handle problems that way. That's just not ok. Especially not people you're supposed to love. Sigh. I never even said you were wrong ffs. And you ripped me to fucking pieces. You just have no respect for me. And that's not a fair position for me to be in. Plus, it's just hurtful you don't. I have respect for you and try to respect you. Even after everything. Everyone has a limit. But you don't. Not with me. Which again is kindof the whole problem. I just wanted to do something nice with you. And for us to actually have a good time. But you really fucking hate me. No matter what. No matter what. Sigh.
Him immediately flipping out on me again.
Yadda yadda.
I block him.
Then he starts with the threats, death wishes, etc.
(I tried to find a way to record the psychotic voicemails - from like 4 different phone numbers - but I couldn't figure it out)
_
You know what started the fight?
This is the real kicker of it all.
I tried to have a conversation with him about him treating me better.
Needless to say, THAT most definitely did NOT happen.
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Playing GI Natlan ACt 3, gonna put my thoughts down below. I write as I play so I dont forget things, but they're all in sequence.
animations are still incredibly stiff and robotic. Good to see that hasnt improved at all.
still a lot of chatter and filler and empty moments but its not that bad so far.
Granny Ive never met this Ororon kid, but I guess thats just her personality.
you know what's a forgotten thing? Elemental Sight.
What this? Am I getting my hopes up that anything different will happen this Archon Quest? Or will we completely antagonise the Fatui without hearing them out again?
"I will explain my goals and motivations to you. I dont believe you should blindly be helping the Pyro Archon" THANK YOU. We've been blindly helping people for so long while completely not listening to what the other side wants. The side that, you know, says they want to bring down Celestia, the place that has the Unknown God, the reason we are stuck in here? Similarly, isnt that also the Abyss Order's goal? The one our sibling seems to be leading? WHY ARE WE NOT EVEN TRYING TO LISTEN TO THEM?!
Well we told Paimon, there goes my hope of hearing the Traveler speaking...
We cant have a fucking conversation with the Fatui. No no, we gotta talk to the Archons! Why did I get my hopes up...
oh yeah pick what you want - the story to get interesting and progress and possibly have some uniqueness from the rest of the nations, or see granny get drunk. IM NOT DOING HER FUCKING CHARACTER QUEST.
I dont mind if we get to know characters in the main story, but why are we comforting granny and watching her ramble while drunk and all this when THERE ARE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO. Oh and of course the classic "we dont know what the fatui want but instead of listening to them fully we go and spill to the archon!". I dont like this writing. Its been so similar for 4 years.
Thank god we learned some priority from the first act of Natlan.
holy fucking shit how did that stealth sequence make it into the script? Did we really need to see it step by step with all the waiting for the opertunity to move undetected? THAT DID NOT NEED TO BE FOUR MINUTES. ITS COMPLETELY SCRIPTED. I DIDNT MOVE AT ALL. ITS FOUR MINUTES OF "gotta sneak here, gotta wait here, gotta sneak now, gotta wait now" WHY WAS THIS FOUR MINUTES LONG?!?! It could have been 1 minute at most and still captured their teamwork! Oh and of course they cant animate her running up the trees so they just did it in first person before instant transmissioning into the premade animations. This shouldnt have taken up as much time as it did. In isolation, fine, whatever, but boy does Hoyo like taking their sweet time just panning and having silence and dragging things out.
.................................................................................................................................................................... That was just all setup.
The quest could have ended an hour sooner if granny didnt interupt our meeting with the Captain.
Is there more? did act 4 come with this?
OKAY ACT 4 DID SHIP WITH THIS.
Phew thank fucking god. I put my controller down as soon as "act 3 finished" popped up. That act spent so much time accomplishing nothing. That should have been a granny and chiha character quest, like back in Inazuma where you have to do character quests before continuing the archon quest.
That was the content of Natlan Act 3. Its 95% character quests that has to happen in this timeframe, and 5% actual plot progression.
Those character quests could have been in 5.0 and left us off with going to Mauvika to tell her about the Captain's plan.
Okay but, Act 3 was character quest filler, im gonna make another one of these for Act 4, and I am going to scream if the plot isnt moving forward after this.
... I should probably clarify that I didnt find act 3 inherently bad, its just character quests for the majority of it and I dont think it fits as an Archon Quest.
Also I enjoy the Captain's character a lot. Fucking finally the Fatui is potrayed as something other than scheming evil schemes and a threat to everyone and not to be trusted for a single word.
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Rest in peace, dear Aunt Helene
If i had to describe today in only one word, the word would be brutal.
this past week ive been a mess... i had a doctor appt scheduled on my day off, i was sitting in the waiting room crying mainly about my aunt, then when i went in to see the physician i told myself i was going to hold the tears in. they did an ekg on me, i was relieved that i was allowed to just lay there instead of converse, because it gave me an excuse to close my eyes and tell myself to not to cry. when the md came in and asked me about me being upset because staff members had witnessed me crying in the waiting room, at first i told her it was nothing, i was ok. but she pressed on, and the tears came spilling out. it was embarrassing, i felt pathetic for being emotionally weak.
that night, i tried sleeping but i lay awake in bed for most of the night, stressing about my aunt. and i ended up getting only 1 hr of sleep before i had to wake up for work. the next night i couldnt sleep for a long time again.
i flew home saturday, spent most of saturday and sunday in the hospital with my aunt.
today, i held onto her hand and caressed it, standing by her side during her final moments. it was heart-wrenching to monitor her HR, SpO2, and RR when we removed life support, i.e., extubated. at first she was super tachycardic and super tachypneic... for the next three hours she continued to breathe on her own. her vitals were all over the place. body fighting to survive. watched her become super bradycardic, SpO2 drop and drop and drop, eventually she took her last breath, asystole, HR 0, RR 0.
i believe she was able to peacefully and comfortably go. yes, the body is under stress so the vitals and numbers look alarming af. but i think she wasn't in pain or discomfort. and this is what she wouldve wanted rather than prolonging her life in a way that she didn't want. i described her final hours purely just to say that death in general is so brutal, which is to say that life is so damn precious.
i'm going to miss her. it's so sad that she had the infections. so many memories. she worked so hard throughout her life, was a strong mother, experienced difficult times. i cant believe i wont be able to see her smile again. it hurts. how irreversible death is. but this shit happened and the only way to move forward and heal is for me to become a better person bc of this. Life is short and I'm going to hold my loved ones closer and try to treat them better. This gave me a different perspective where a lot of my previous complaints are so trivial now, and why am i complaining when im alive and not fighting to stay alive. i also just care so little now about things that i used to waste my time on, like social media and clickbait articles.
I also lost my Uncle Eddie and Aunt Helene's husband recently. I hadnt seen either of them since before covid. I wanted to write about those two different events too but i just never got a chance to due to time constraints.
thank you to my friends who moved around times to hang out with me yesterday and today due to me having to be in the hospital. thank you to all the health care workers working on their weekend. to the compassionate angels that are nurses. thank you to people (including my PCP) who listened to me and supported me.
leaving on a trip today and will not have wifi or phone service for this week. part of me is anxious about the fact that my emails will pile up impossibly high and i wont be able to respond to people who email me. but what this experience with Aunt Helene has taught me is that there are certain things that truly matter, and getting anxious about work is just a waste of this precious life ive been gifted.
ive also been nodding off repeatedly throughout writing this so this post very well might not make sense. i have to be up in about 5 hrs and am extremely exhausted from barely sleeping this past week. but i really had to write in here before i went to sleep.
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//their tale//
Written for Day 2 of Ray's appreciation week! GAAHHHH can't believe I'm late. School sucks like jnkdbfkerkglanw Is this still acceptable tho? Lol tagging @ikerev-appreciation anyways
➵ Theme: Campfire
➵ Genre: I honestly don't even know anymore
➵ Word count: 2017
➵ Notes: spoilers for Ray's route! Also, I changed a few things to paint just what I had in mind ;)
☆☆☆☆☆
Year 2000
Under the bright full moon that illuminated all of Cradle, bright flames flickered and wood crackled and burned amidst a certain forest-- a forest that showcased a tall, ancient tower, now in ruins. The chilly night breeze made the nearby flaglets dance and curl in the wind. Flaglets-- flaglets painted in both red and black. Several thousand of them were planted all over Cradle's native soil, telling them of their motherland's history. A gruesome, bloody history, indeed... yet just as beautiful and mesmerizing. And a part of their history included a tale. A tale of how a country, once divided into two, the idea of unity long forgotten, had joined because of a single lady. A lady that fell under the most powerful spell of all.
Love.
An old couple was having a campfire at the heart of the forest. Their son and his wife, along with their three kids, had come with them to listen to the said tale.
"Alright, children, gather 'round," the grandfather huddled the kids closer. A radiant light shone in his eyes, perfectly mirroring the kids'. "Shall I begin retelling the greatest tale of Cradle?"
The three children squealed in delight. They've heard snippets of it; from their teachers and classmates. And now, they would finally hear the entirety of it.
"Yes please, grandpa!" The eldest of the three, a girl about ten, chirped.
Their grandmother just chuckled under her breath, watching the four by the sidelines while handing out s'mores to the younger couple sitting on a log nearby, a knowing smile on their lips.
Oh, they were in for a ride.
The grandfather cleared his throat and started, "Long, long ago, before our modern use of magic and the grand life everyone currently has, Cradle had been split into two: Red and Black. They--"
"Huh? Why were we divided?" The youngest child interrupted with wide, curious eyes.
The eldest whacked him lightly. "Shh! Grandpa'll get to that."
The grandfather merely shook his head at their antics. "Now, now, children. Be patient. I'll tell everything you need to know."
All three obeyed, quietly munching on chips and marshmallows. When all was quiet once more, and the fire's crackle was all that can be heard, the old man continued.
"Alright... because of the division, Cradle had been filled with political dispute and rivalry. It was a place filled with constant tension, a war threatening to break out any second. The two opposing sides were armies: the Red Army, with the Hearts and Diamonds Quarter... and the Black Army, with Spades and Clubs. The Red Army used magic in combat and formed ranks by lineage. The Black Army used pure manpower alone and ranks were based by strength. Their dispute lasted for over 500 years, passing from generation to generation. The idea of unity of had been long forgotten, the prospect of mixing red and black in a single banner to represent Cradle considered absurd.
"But then, two women - both in different times - arrived at Cradle. Well, they fell, actually. Coming from a world parallel to ours; The Land of Reason, connected to our world by a rabbit hole that only appears during the full moon, they fell, down and down and down that rabbit hole... Until they dropped from Cradle's starry sky, and ended up in our bloody land."
He made hand movements, the campfire's light creating shadows in the rocky soil, and voice dramatic and solemn. The children looked in awe. Bright, youthful minds painting images of how it must've felt, falling from high up above, and what did the rabbit hole look like...
"There was a difference, though. The first woman who fell - Alice - did not really make a difference. That is, aside from being able to deflect and cancel magic, instead of use it. This is because The Land of Reason is governed by laws of science, unlike ours that's mystical. Now Alice I didn't stay long here in Cradle. Well, after all, it was a wartorn place that just didn't follow the usual rules of physics she's used to. As soon the next month's full moon rose high in the sky, and the rabbit hole connecting our two worlds reappeared, Alice I jumped right into it. Erasing her existence in Cradle and never heard of from again."
Silence filled them, the children's delicacies long forgotten as they slowly process the details. The fire was roaring by now and the stars up above looked imposing. As if it, too, was listening, and affirming that all the grandfather was saying really happened. By the sidelines, the parents wondered-- Had Alice the First fallen in love like the Second, would she have stayed?
Would both stories have ended differently?
Slowly, a smile formed on the old man's aging face. Then he continued, "But Alice II was different... she'd fallen under a spell even she cannot rebuke. The most powerful magic of all."
"... An impenetrable spell? What's that supposed to mean?" The middle-born child couldn't resist asking, speaking in a low voice, as if afraid to break the solemnity of the air that enveloped them. And also because his sister might whack him for being noisy.
"You see, when she fell down, someone had been there to catch her: that time's King of Spades. His name-- Blackwell, if memory serves me right. Now after Alice's very long and confusing first night here, Blackwell offered her a deal. The Black Army would protect Alice for the entirety of her stay here; which was for a month, the amount of time before the link between our worlds reappear. And in return, during her stay with them, she'd have to use her ability to deflect magic when they need it.
"She'd agreed. And so began to blossom their love, which is probably what your sister's been dying to hear about the most," the grandfather smirked, breaking free of his serious monologue for a while to tease his blushing granddaughter who obviously can't wait to learn about the juicier details.
"So... What made their story different from any other is because we can all relate to it, but at the same time not. Blackwell, like other men, had given his woman a pendant. Blackwell, like many others, showed a side of him that's only been witnessed by his special someone. Sounds pretty plain, no?
"But not all can be as selfless as him. Blackwell had been fully aware that Alice was afraid of our world. And so he'd done everything to keep her from fear and danger. No, even when there were disputes between the two armies, despite their initial agreement, he never requested for dear Alice's presence. He never dragged her into the war, not wanting to hurt her. And he never bothered to tell her he loved her right from the start."
A gasp fell from the lips of the three.
"Oh, little did he know, Alice loved him, too."
Another gasp, probably comical to the adults' ears if they didn't know just how darkly the story ended.
"But neither of them ended up making a move.
Came a third gasp. All three cried out, "Why?"
"Because Blackwell was working hard!" Their grandfather explained with a bitter laugh. "He was doing everything that he can to protect Alice, to return her to her world safe and sound, to return her to her normal days governed by laws of physics, where she didn't have to be afraid of the uncertainties of Cradle's way of life. To restore that contented smile on her lips as she goes back to her work and lives as simply as a mouse. He knew she was scared of this world, and didn't have it in him to ask her to stay in such an alien world."
"... What of Alice?" One of them spoke up.
"She was aware of it, alright. And she understood it-- that the man she loves is a man who values the freedom of going about your usual days. That's why he's so strongly against the Reds who use magic. Because he knew that magic, due to its tremendous power, also brought danger in turn; and that danger had ruined countless lives. He wanted to make Cradle a place where no one has to get hurt because of carelessly excessive use of magic, where no one had to be robbed of the freedom to live peacefully.
"And also a place where people with innate magical capabilities don't have to be afraid. He wants to build a Cradle where those who are born magically gifted don't have to be condemned by fear of hurting someone. Do you know why? ... Because he's one of them. Blackwell has a gift of using magic. And he'd hurt, and he'd ruined - ended, actually - lives. Which is why he's so against using magic. Because he doesn't want someone to die again because of it."
The grandfather was now talking fast like he was being rushed, and he had to remind himself to pause to allow the children to drink it all in. It was obvious they hadn't expected that; their jaws were slack, eyes wide, gears inside those heads rapidly turning as they realize many things at once.
Blackwell can use magic... very strong magic. And he'd killed in accident because of the danger that came with that strength. Because of that, he doesn't want to use magic anymore, and that caused his ideals to war with the Reds who do exactly the opposite.
And he knows just how important a normal day is, a day where there's no war about to break out. That fueled him with the drive to return Alice to her world where she's safe.
While in turn, Alice understood all of that. And respected that. Which is why she forced herself to want to go home... so that all his effort of protecting her won't be in vain.
"Oh, they never ended up. Alice returned to the Land of Reason after she'd helped defeat the bad guys; the Magic Tower's disciples, and most especially-- Amon Jabberwock," the grandmother spoke up, nonchalantly finishing the story in a flash, pointing at the eerie, broken tower just a hundred or so meters away. "Meaning, Alice helped the Red and Black Armies join to overthrow the Magic Tower, which is why our flag now contains both red and black. She's worked hard to restore unity in both armies. But after that, even though she loved the King of Spades, she returned to her own world... Not that your grandfather would bother with those historical details. He just cares about the drama," she grumpily added under her breath. Her husband just rolled his eyes with a guilty smile.
"Hmph. So much for happy endings," the second child huffed, munching down his marshmallow that had long gone cold-- much like his heart, cold and empty, torn by the saddest story he'd heard yet.
"Nooooo, I won't accept this! Grandpa, tell me you're lying!" The eldest shook her grandfather's shoulders vigorously in denial.
The youngest just furrowed his brows in confusion. "But don't they love each other? Why didn't Alice II stay?"
Their mother, who'd now come closer to pry her daughter off their now-dizzy grandfather, chuckled. "Why, Liam, love isn't as simple as that."
"Why not...?"
"Because it's love," she gently explained. "And because it's love, it requires a lot of other things."
"Like what?"
"The right timing, for instance. Ray Blackwell and Alice II just met at the wrong time, under the wrong circumstances."
"But aren't they adults already?"
The mother just laughed and ruffled her son's hair. "Lemme rephrase that. It's not timing. It's fate. Maybe they're just not meant to be for one another..."
But then something made her change her mind, looking up above at the cloudless, midnight sky. She just saw a shooting star cross the earth. The full moon looked bigger than usual to her, its light seemingly brighter. Something about those made her heart do a little skip. She smiled.
"Well, not in this lifetime, at least."
☆☆☆☆☆
I literally dont know what the genre is yakcutebnlqpakbef xD tbh this was supposed to be smut ( ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ) basically the black army having a bonfire/campfire and ray and alice sneaking away to do the nasty buuuut writing "campfire" like this sounded better to me than that haha. And what do you mean I'm trying to make Ray's route sound much better? But had failed because I cant write for shit and was only half-awake while making this and didn't bother to proofread because IM ALREADY LATE AF
#ikerev#ikemen revolution#ikemen kakumei#rayxappreciationweek2019#day 2#i cant believe i spent 5 hours making this shit#and once again#it ended up angsty(ish?)#jasbfyvbnxuw#ill try writing somethinglighter for day 3 lol#keyword: TRY#lmaooooo#ps: AHHHHHHH IM LATE THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE
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Adventures in Success (part 7)
Adventures in Success (part 7)
Pairing : Ben Barnes x Reader
Warnings : None, this chapter’s FLUFFY AF.
Summary: Ben’s agent is retiring and the firm wants you to represent him. It’s going to be hard for you not to mix work with feelings.
Words: 3,000
Type: Slow Burn, Fluff
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8
gif by bnbrns
My masterlist
3 months later
Ben’s been back in LA for a few days when he receives a text from you. Ever since your text exchange while you were drunk, the two of you resumed on your usual banter, leaving the unfamiliar politeness behind, much to his relief. It feels like the emotional wall you’ve put up between you and him progressively came crawling down with every text exchange. You are scheduled to meet for dinner tonight, and he can’t wait to see you.
He’s surprised you haven’t contacted him as he received the best news he’s ever gotten in his entire career. He’s been nominated for the Volpi Cup, the award for best actor in the Venice Film Festival, for the Bong Joon Ho movie. When he got the news from the film crew, he almost cried tears of joy. He was incredibly proud, but most importantly, he knew you’d have to drop his contract, as you had agreed. He wondered how you felt about his nomination, and why you hadn’t contacted him right away. Had you found someone else? If so, was it serious? His heart jumped in his chest when he saw your name illuminating his screen. He opened your message eagerly.
You: Hi Ben, I know we were supposed to meet today for dinner, but I got the flu and i’ve been stuck home for the last two days. I’m still feverish and I can’t make it out I’m so sorry… :(
So, that was why you hadn’t contacted him. Selfishly, he preferred to know that you were stuck home with the flu than in the arms of another guy. He writes back to you:
Ben: I can come over and bring some soup, herbal tea and flu medicine :)
You: absolutely not Ben, I’d never forgive myself if you got the flu because of me.
He raises his eyebrows as he reads your message. He won’t let you get away with this.
Ben: I’m immune to the flu :) plus I have some verrry important news and I NEED to see you.
You: I cant let you see me this way :( I haven’t showered in two days and I look like shit.
Ben: I don’t care. I’m coming.
You: Fine, you’re the f***** worst.
Ben: see you in an hour :)
Ben can’t stop smiling as he gets in his car to go to the grocery store, he’s so gleeful he could break into a song and start dancing in the street.
* * * * * * * * *
He knocks on your door, familiar with your place as he’s already been here a few times, for movie nights mostly. He’s even slept on your convertible couch after some nights where the two of you drank too much. You open slightly the door and he catches a glimpse of your face.
“Ugh, I can’t believe you came” you sigh as you turn over and leave the door open. He laughs loudly.
“That’s no way to greet me after a six months separation” he protests.
He smiles widely when he notices that you’re wearing a blanket around your shoulders, sweat pants and fuzzy socks. You’re walking awkwardly around your living room, looking exhausted. Your hair his wet so you’ve definitely taken a shower before he arrived. You look pale, your nose is red, you have dark circles under your eyes. You definitely look sick, but still cute, he thinks to himself. He sets the grocery bag on the table while you sit on your couch, staring at nothing.
“So, I took some chicken soup” he announces “some herbal tea, honey for your throat, your favorite ice cream and some ibuprofen”. He looks back at you, you’re wiping your nose with a tissue. You look so precious, he wants to hold you close and kiss you. He resists the urge and sets the items on your living room table, before making a trip to your kitchen to set the ice cream in the freezer.
“Thank you, Ben, that’s so kind of you” you reply weakly when he enters the living room. “I think my temperature’s rising again, I don’t feel too good” you add in a weak voice. He comes to sit next to you on the couch and presses a hand to your forehead. It’s clammy and hot, you’re burning up.
“Yep, feels like you’re having a fever” he states “I’ll get you some ibuprofen” he says, getting back up and heading to your kitchen to get a glass of water. He comes back a few seconds later and you’re lying on your side, your legs pressed to your chest, softly whining.
“It’s okay, I’m here” he says in a smooth voice. He crouches next to you and hands you the pill and the glass of water. You stare at him with glassy eyes.
“I can’t believe you came” you say, repeating the first words you’ve uttered to him when he got here.
“I told you, I have some important news to tell you” he says, smiling.
“But you’re seeing me like this” you whine, gesturing towards yourself. “I look like a monster” you say, closing your eyes.
“That’s not true, you look sick” he protests “You still look pretty and cute, don’t worry”, he adds with a grin. You hide your face in a cushion, not replying.
“Come on, take the pill” he says patiently. You open your eyes again and slowly sit.
“Thank you” you whisper, your hands trembling a bit.
“Do you want to eat something?” he asks, concerned.
You nod to say no “I’m not hungry” you say, wincing.
“When’s the last time you ate?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
You look away, thinking, scrunching your nose a bit. God you’re cute, he thinks, having to resist the urge to kiss you again.
“I don’t really remember” you reply “The fever’s making the last few days blurry” you add, scrubbing your eyes.
“I’m gonna get you some soup” he says, and he goes to the kitchen to get you a spoon. He puts the kettle on to make you some tea as well, because he wouldn’t be a true British person of he didn’t.
“It’s still warm” he says, coming back in the living room. You nod as you patiently wait for him to bring you the soup, and sigh when he gives you the warm bowl.
“So, what’s the big news?” you ask.
“It can wait.” Ben answers, rubbing your arm to warm you up, seeing you shivering.
“But you came for that” you protest, drinking your soup.
“I came to see you” he replies, smiling softly.
You nod your head, closing your eyes “This is so good” you say.
“I’m glad you like it” he replies, getting comfortable on the couch. “Do you want to watch something?” he asks, gesturing towards your TV. “A comforting movie, perhaps?”
You look at him, smiling softly “Yeah, I could watch something” you say “I’ve spent the last two days in bed” you add.
“What do you want to watch?” he asks, looking intently at you. Even when you’re sick, you still have the same effect on him. His chest feels a bit tight and he desperately wants to touch you. You think for a few seconds before smiling slowly, your eyes looking heavy. You look so tired and weak, it breaks his heart “Princess Bride” you reply, looking content.
He laughs “Princess Bride it is!” he replies as he turns the TV on. He goes back to the kitchen to fetch you your tea, adding a generous amount of honey to soothe your throat. He comes back in the room and you’re standing next to the sofa.
“Could you unfold the couch?” you ask weakly, looking up at him. “I want to fall asleep in front of the film” you add.
He has the resist the urge to cup your face with both of his hands and kiss you. “Of course” he replies, happy to feel useful to you. He expertly unfolds the sofa, and you climb on it right away, still wrapped in your blanket. He lies down next to you and launches the movie. He feels genuinely content in this moment, thinking that there’s no place where he’d rather be, because he’s with you. He thinks to himself that he simply needs your company to feel whole and happy, and he realizes, for the hundredth time, how serious his feelings are for you. He glances at you and sees that you’re shivering.
“Are you alright?” he asks, concerned.
“I’m so cold” you reply, hugging yourself.
“I’ll get another blanket” he replies, and you reach for his arm before he gets up.
“Can you hold me?” you ask, looking at him. His heart explodes with joy in his chest and he tries to control his facial expression.
“Of course” he replies softly with an even voice, and he’s impressed with himself. He slides closer to you on the sofa and opens his arms, and you snuggle against him, sighing, seeming satisfied.
“You smell so good” you say after a few seconds.
He laughs. Why do you need to be in an altered state to say these things to him? Drunk or feverish? What stops you from saying how you feel? Why do you have to control yourself this much? he thinks bitterly.
“Thank you” he replies, his heart beating fast in his chest.
“Why do you have to be so perfect?” you ask, your eyes closed. You seem like you’re slowly falling asleep.
“What do you mean?” he asks, still half laughing.
“You’re smart, kind, funny, unbearably handsome.” you reply, yawning, before snuggling your face against his chest.
“You’re not so bad yourself” he replies softly, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.
“I’m not good enough for you” you reply, and your eyes are closed, your expression relaxed.
“What? That’s nonsense” he replies, frowning and aghast.
“Hmmmm...” you reply, your head falling a bit, and he understands that you’ve fallen asleep now. He looks back at the TV, distracted. Is that why you won’t date him? Using the excuse of being his agent? Because you’re insecure? He frowns as he ponders on this, still holding you against him. Your breathing is even and your face relaxed, and he feels happy and privileged to see you this way, unguarded and natural. He falls asleep before the movie ends, sill suffering from jet lag.
* * * * * * * * * *
You open your eyes, waking from the fever dream you were just having. You feel sweaty and cold, coming down from your fever. You look around you and find Ben lying next to you, asleep. You stare at his beautiful face for a few seconds, lit by the glowing screen of the TV. You usually can’t stare at him as much as you want to, so you indulge fully. You look at his eyes, his long lashes, the beauty spot you love so much. His nose, his mouth, his beard. His cheekbones, the soft curve of his lips. You heart aches in your chest, you find him so beautiful it almost makes you want to weep.
You close your eyes and sigh deeply, and decide to get up and take a shower to clean the sweat off yourself. You get up slowly, in order not to wake him up, and head to your bedroom. You set out a clean set of pajamas (the good fancy ones, because Ben’s here after all, and you’ll definitely look better in them than in your old sweat pants) and hop in the shower, happy to feel the warmth of the water on your skin. You close your eyes and try to focus to analyze the situation. It’s hard because you’re still feverish, and you feel groggy.
He’s here, you think to yourself, in awe. He came, only to take care of you. You shake your head as you realize how much he must care about you to have come all the way here. He could be anywhere, with anyone, and yet he decided to come to you. You nod your head as you take in the realization and try to calm your nerves. Once you’re done cleaning yourself, you step out of the shower, fold yourself into a towel and go brush your teeth, wanting to feel clean and fresh. You stare at your own reflection, unimpressed. What does he see in you? You simply don’t understand. He could have any woman, any beautiful actress in the industry, any gorgeous model, why does he waste his time with you? You shake your head, unable to comprehend what he sees in you. You step into your bedroom, put on a clean set of underwear before putting on your Pjs.
You tip toe in the living room again and turn off the TV screen. Ben shuffles in his sleep, sighing, and you lie down next to him. You could go back to your bed, but you can’t resist being so close to him. You’ve missed him so much these last few months, and your feelings for him are so strong. You reach for his hand and grab it softly, wanting to have a physical contact with him. He wakes up at the contact and your heart drops in your chest. He opens lazily his eyes, and they seem completely black in the dark.
“Hey” he whispers, smiling softly. “Feeling better?”
“A bit” you sigh back, your chest feeling horribly tight. You could kiss him, right here, right now. Nothing can stop you, except yourself.
“C’me here” he says, and he opens his arms. You don’t hesitate for a second, turning your back on him and snuggling close to him. He spoons you, holding you close, his arms around you. You close your eyes, thinking you’ve never been this happy before, and quickly fall asleep.
* * * * * * * * * *
You wake up to the smell of pancakes and sigh happily. You stretch on the couch and slowly open your eyes, trying to assess how you feel. You’re still a bit sore and your throat hurts, but you don’t feel feverish anymore. You look around you and Ben’s woken up, probably in the kitchen judging by the sounds coming from it. You quickly get up, panicked, and run to your bathroom. You assess the mess as you stare at yourself in the mirror, and decide to brush your teeth first. You brush your hair, put fresh water on your face and breathe evenly to calm yourself. You’re not thrilled by the way you look, but at least you look a little more human. You tip toe to the kitchen and you hear Ben singing, bringing a bright smile to your face.
You enter and he’s cooking pancakes, and you think to yourself that the man has no mercy for you. First, coming to take care of you while you’re sick, secondly, making you pancakes in the morning. How is he even real? You ask yourself. He spots you and stops singing:
“Morning sunshine, how are you feeling?” he asks, grinning.
“A little better, thank you”, you reply as you take a sit on the counter.
“Ahhh, finally some good news”, he says, grinning. How does he look so good? You ask yourself. The man’s slept in his clothes, hasn’t taken a shower yet and he looks like the most beautiful person in the world. You grind your teeth, annoyed by him.
“Did you sleep well?” you ask, blushing.
“Never better” he winks, and you blush even more.
“So, what about these big news you wanted to tell me?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. He slides a plate with pancakes and a cup of tea towards you, and you grab it eagerly.
“Well, I guess you haven’t heard since you were stuck in here with a fever” he starts, and he looks intently at you. “I’ve been nominated for best actor at the Venice Film Festival” he announces.
You choke on your tea and slide off the counter “Oh my God, Ben!!” you yell, and you jump at his neck to hug him, screaming with joy. He laughs as he catches you, and the two of you stand here for a while, hugging. Your breathing slows a bit and you step back “Congratulations” you say, looking up at his face, and the expression on his face makes you weak in the knees. There is tenderness, and a hunger, a want that makes you quiver.
“Thank you” he replies “I’d never had gotten there without you” he says as he puts a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You blush and turn over to grab your tea, before facing him again.
“I have something to ask you” he says, “a favor”.
“Anything, Ben” you say, smiling.
“By my guest at the film festival” he asks. “Come with me, please.”
You stop smiling and you feel sudden dread.
“Ben, I could neve-”
“I don’t want anyone else but you” he cuts you off “by my side, on this day. Please” he begs, and you get lost in his charcoal eyes, unable to resist him.
“Fine”, you sigh, and he grins widely.
“Thank you” he replies “I’ll send you the details” he winks, quoting back to you one of your favorite expressions. You blush again, feeling self conscious.
“I have to go” he says, “I’ll talk to you soon?” he adds, seeming hopeful.
“All right” you reply, still feeling weak in the knees. He steps closer to you, and he gently cups your face with both hands, before placing a light kiss on your forehead. He releases you and grabs his jacket. ��Have a nice day” he says, winking, before leaving the kitchen.
You stare into the void as you hear your front door slamming, unable to process what just happened.
Part 8
Tag List
@theshadowkingsqueen
@awesome-eccia
@lincerad
@aleksanderwh0r3
@really-dont-forget-it
@thetallassgirl
@beautiful-thinking
@marimorena06
@ramadiiiisme
@pansysgirlfriend
@rosilyjj
@acciorudolphx
@hagarsays
@ladyblablabla
@ravenclawlover94
@deviantsendbyreallife
@kaybeeboop
@karamelcoveredolicity
@adriennebarnes
@tanyaherondale
@thecatempire
@supernaturalcat7
intothesacredforest
thelightinmyshadows
#ben barnes#ben barnes x reader#ben barnes x you#ben barnes imagine#ben barnes fanfiction#fanfiction#billy russo x reader#adventures in success#my fics#fanfic
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Ch. 3
18+ MINORS DNI
Pairing: Shigaraki x Dabi (just this part), Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader (very brief and vague reference to Dabi x Hawks)
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: smut and feels, it's literally just smut, blow jobs, friends(?) with benefits, blow jobs, anal fingering, light degradation (both for shigs and reader), could maybe be interpreted as slight dubcon, dirty talk, slutty dabi, dabi is an asshole, so is tomura, reader has gender neutral pronouns, I'm keeping it fem cause Shigs hates women and calls them that
Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6
Summary: In which the boys share in some good ole roommate bonding activities and Tomura has a blow job induced epiphany.
AO3 Mirror
Taglist: @dillybuggg (shoot me an ask if you want to be tagged and make sure to check my rules!)
Dabi’s mouth was wet and so fucking warm as he swallowed around Tomura’s dick.
“Oh fuck…” he groaned as Dabi hummed around his length and did that thing where he flicked the ball of his tongue ring over Tomura’s slit.
Bright blue eyes stared up through deceptively long lashes, smirking at the way Tomura drooled as he got his soul sucked out the tip of dick. The mattress underneath him creaked despite the negligible weight of both their bodies. Dabi settled on his stomach between Tomura’s pale thighs leaving fingerprint bruises in soft flesh.
They did this sometimes, though he wasn’t quite sure when exactly it started. Dabi had been his randomly assigned roommate freshman year and he grew so used to living with him that the two of them had just silently, yet mutually agreed not to fuck something up that wasn’t broken. They both berated each other for their strange and somewhat disgusting habits—Dabi would say that Tomura was a gross shut-in creep who needed a fucking shower and Tomura called Dabi out on his slutty pastimes and obsession with piercing the hell out of every available inch of skin.
And sometimes they sucked each other off.
It was overall not a terrible arrangement—Dabi got his fill of dick and Tomura could no longer be made fun of for being completely inexperienced. Plus, as much as he was loathe to admit, Dabi was really fucking good at oral. Like, demonically good. He’d been going down on Tomura for so long now too that he’d learned all the things that had him spilling onto that pierced tongue in minutes.
Tomura jerked from his thoughts when two, lube slicked fingers prodding at his ass.
“Dabi, what the fuck are you—” he protested, wiggling his scrawny hips up the bed and inadvertently letting his cock slip out of the inviting heat between his roommate’s lips.
He couldn’t see much other than the shaking mop of black hair and pale hands with chipped black nail polish digging into his legs, yanking him back.
“Shut up freak,” Dabi slurred, words slick with spit and Tomura’s precum. Dabi said it tasted like battery acid, but it never stopped him from guzzling it like he did with cheap whiskey and cigarettes on the weekends. “I know you like it.”
He did like it, but Tomura wasn’t about to contribute to the fucking evil grin Dabi was giving him as he circled the tight ring of muscle, slipping in a finger to the first knuckle.
Tomura’s head flopped back on the pillows as he bit back a low moan, “Fuck off.”
“If you say so,” Dabi shoved his finger in roughly, squeezing a second in behind it and letting Tomura bask in the burn of being stretched too quickly before ripping his hands away.
“No!” Tomura wailed pretty fucking shamelessly and grabbed the retreating wrist, placing Dabi’s tatted hand back on his dick that throbbed and leaked painfully.
“Dude, what’s gotten the fuck into you?” his roommate asked, smirking still, but pumping Tomura's cock loosely nonetheless. “Our walls are thin as hell, you know I can hear you jerkin' it in here every night, and now you’re practically begging for me to suck you off. Usually I gotta come to you.”
He was infuriatingly right again.
Tomura had indeed asked for him to do this, which was definitely out of character for him. Most of the time when they ended up in this position, it was because Dabi spent hours hounding him about it or just fucking dropped to his knees and whipped Tomura’s cock out in the middle of a movie night or snuck into his room while Tomura was gaming and swallowed him whole just to laugh at the way his online friends reacted to the noises.
He’s just been so pent up lately, and you insisting on fucking touching his arm or sitting on the floor between his feet at League meetings was really not helping it.
“I don’t know,” Tomura lied, both to Dabi and himself in the hopes that the head of black hair would just go back to bobbing on his dick like he so desperately needed it to.
“Bro, I have fucked with enough people to know when they’re wishing I was someone else,” Dabi scoffed and ran a blessedly hot tongue from base to tip and suckled softly at the blush pink head before pulling back with a wet pop. “So who is it?”
“I’m not fucking thinking about anyone,” Tomura hissed, fisting Dabi’s spiky, black locks and thrusting into his mouth till he felt the contractions of Dabi gagging around his length. “Usually you're jumping at the chance to get dick in your mouth, so why does it matter?”
Dabi pulled back, wiping the silvery string of spit leaking past his lips away and scowling as his fingers ghosted over Tomura’s balls and sank back into his pliant ass.
“Seriously creep, I’m five seconds away from ghosting and you can fuck your hand like the sad little bitch you are. So tell me their name or I’m walking right now.”
Tomura huffed as he felt Dabi’s long, rough fingers pulled from him again and the heat of his mouth growing farther away.
“Ugh fine, it’s that bitch I’ve been working on the English thing with.”
Dabi made a face like his brain was buffering.
“Seriously?” he asked, mouth gaping in a way that had Tomura even more furious his dick wasn’t buried in it.
“Yes!” he shouted and grabbed Dabi’s cheeks in both hands, sinking past his waiting lips and practically purring when he felt them close around the base as his long tongue massaged the shaft. “Oh god yes…”
Dabi rolled his eyes, managing to look smug even with a cock stretching his lips taught against the piercings. He used to try and tease Tomura about how small his dick was, but it was hard to believe him. Especially with how he choked sometimes when Tomura got rough with him despite his boasts of lacking a gag reflex. Not to mention how he looked now, jaw probably aching with the stretch and loving every second of it.
Tomura lazily bucked his hips up and whined high when the fingers in his ass curled and thrust against that fucking spot he hadn’t known was there until Dabi found it for him.
The pleased sound he made tapered off into a growl though, when his roommate with questionable benefits pulled off again to run his slutty fucking mouth.
“Tell me about it,” he mumbled, kitten licking at Tomura’s cock and running the ball of his piercing through the slit again. Tomura gulped when he pulled it back into his mouth to swallow the bead of precum he’d collected. “I’ve seen your fucking paramour around before, pretty serious about school though. And kinda out of your league too, not gonna lie. So, what would you do if your cute little partner was here instead?”
Tomura bristled at the insult but couldn’t keep his pissed off look when Dabi went back to sucking his cock like a pro and curling those fucking fingers against his prostate. When he did speak, he blushed hard at the way his voice cracked and sounded like he was crying.
“I don’t fucking—holy shit—know,” he gasped and Dabi hummed both to egg him on and to get a whole new wave of precum gushing out of Tomura’s dick.
“C’mon man,” Dabi groaned, and Tomura distinctly heard the sound of a pants zipper and felt Dabi’s hips canting against the sheets.
That fucking masochistic whore. He would get off to Tomura dirty talking about someone else while he sucked his dick.
He considered stopping the whole thing right there, but then Dabi was sinking a third finger into his ass and thrusting hard while he hallowed his cheeks around Tomura’s cock and sucked—
“Tits!” Tomura cried and covered his burning, red cheeks with his hands. “I want to put my fucking face in them and taste them in my mouth. Sometimes I can see the outline of their nipples when we’re working and the air conditioning comes on and I want to suck on them so fucking bad I can’t think about anything else the whole night.”
Once he got started, Tomura found the words just spilled from him like a dam had burst. Dabi, the depraved bastard, groaned loud and ground his pierced dick harder against the mattress as he continued to deepthroat Tomura’s cock and fuck his ass at that perfect angle.
“Sometimes when they drag me to their stupid club I lose the rounds cause I—oh god, oh fuck—just imagine them in my lap, sitting on my cock and fucking writhing and squeezing me while we face off. Such a fucking—Dabi more!—stereotypical try-hard, bitch but I want to be inside them so fucking bad,” he felt actual tears stinging the raw corners of his eyes when Dabi sped up on his dick.
Tomura scrapped his nails against Dabi’s scalp, holding on for dear life as his breathing became even more ragged than usual. His friend’s cruelty streak reared its ugly head as Dabi sensed the tensing of Tomura’s balls and the clench of his tight ass and slowed down a fraction, keeping him teetering on the edge of an explosively pleasurable release.
“Fucking asshole,” he growled, but didn’t dare try to fuck Dabi’s face lest he make good on his threat to leave Tomura high and dry. “I just—shit, ah, don’t stop—they talk to me sometimes and I just wanna suck their tongue into my mouth so they shut up and I need to hear them fucking falling apart or using that stupid, stuck up teacher voice on me and fucking my ass—Dabi Fuck—is that what you wanted to hear?”
Dabi, because he got off on being a little shit, gave him one last delicious swallow before pulling back and fisting Tomura’s sopping wet cock. The fingers had stopped thrusting and were now pressed hard against his prostate, sending shocks through his body and making him twitch violently as his blood rushed with endorphins. He never stopped grinding his own dick against Tomura’s cotton sheets the whole time.
“You got it bad huh, don’t ya creep,” he mused, letting a fat glob of spit fall from his lips and keep his palm slick. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk about fucking anything, much less another actual person.”
“No I fucking don’t, “ Tomura writhed against the pillows, giving in to the undeniable urge to simultaneously fuck up into Dabi’s hand and ride his fingers.
“Who knew you were such a desperate whore, falling for the first person to show you a modicum of attention,” Dabi jeered and squeezed the tip of his dick hard, listening to Tomura let out a choked sob. “I’m actually kinda proud of you, bro. My little incel baby’s growing up.”
Dabi cooed at Tomura, sinking sharp teeth deep into the meat of his thigh and sucking a bruise into the flesh.
“You’re the one—nghh—getting off on it,” Tomura clapped back but didn’t bother denying it again.
There was a sense of dread growing in his gut alongside the mounting pleasure of his orgasm that Dabi was currently holding hostage. Dabi may have had a dickish personality just as massive as the actual dick that was currently painting his comforter in stains, but he knew Tomura.
And he did, admittedly have much more experience with these types of things.
“Fuck yeah I am,” Dabi grunted. “Last time I let you return the favor you bit my fucking cock. I gotta get off somehow.”
“Don’t say rude shit to me and I won’t bite you.”
“Watch it, Tomura,” Dabi huffed and nipped at his thigh again. “You should be thanking me for my services.”
“Not if you’re gonna keep running your mouth instead of sucking me off,” he tried to sound intimidating but he was well and truly wrecked and couldn’t find the energy to give his words an edge.
“You should ask them out,” Dabi continued, ignoring the failed attempts at banter. “Bring ‘em over or some shit. Maybe then if I lock down that blonde piece of ass I’ve been talking to, we’ll both have much more interesting things to go down on.”
“Your whore ass is the one always jumping me, don’t act like it’s a fucking chore,” Tomura groaned as Dabi started licking at his cock again, pressing sloppy, half kisses on the tip as he jerked it in his fist.
“Not my fault I get bored sometimes,” he replied and closed his eyes as Tomura clenched particularly hard around Dabi’s relentless fingers. “But seriously, you should go for it. I’d kill to find out if you’re just as bad at eating pussy as you are sucking dick.”
“Fuck y—” Tomura started to say when Dabi reared up till they were chest to chest and their foreheads knocked together.
“I fucking will if you don’t shut up, creep, and I think it’d be so much better if you handed your fucking virginity to that pretty little partner bitch instead,” he said and stunned Tomura into silence when he licked into his mouth.
Dabi had kissed him before, but Tomura could count the number of occasions on one hand and almost all had been when his punk ass roommate was drunk as hell and in his feels about some tortured past. But Dabi’s eyes were bright and lucid now, blinking down at Tomura as he dragged their tongues together, flooding his mouth with the faint taste of cigarettes and jizz.
Their cocks brushed together too, the stimulation making Tomura whine into Dabi’s lips, who dropped a merciful hand down, taking them both in his fist and began pumping.
He didn’t stop as he pulled back, grinning down at Tomura like a fucking maniac—all shitty tattoos and silver piercings. The little barbels that stuck through Dabi’s nipples brushed against his own and made him moan at the cool metal and hot skin on his sensitive chest. Tomura was fucking sensitive everywhere, as Dabi had helped him discover, probably from a lifetime of being touched more by cheap sweatshirts than human hands.
“Now,” Dabi grunted as he thrust loosely against Tomura’s cock and his own fist before pulling away to settle back between his legs. “Shut up and cum down my throat—gotta give your virgin ass a refresher on mind shattering orgasms, so you know if that bitch is any good or not.”
Tomura’s tongue was halfway around a witty comeback when Dabi swallowed him to the hilt once again and started working his ass even harder. He really fucked hoped the neighbors were not home to hear him get his shit rocked at 2pm on a fucking Tuesday, cause Dabi might have been flunking out of his classes but he’d get a goddamn A plus for sucking dick.
The hand on his thigh, spreading him open, migrated to his hip so that Tomura could snap his legs shut hard around Dabi’s ring littered ears as he guided Tomura to grind down on his hand. The pressure in his gut built up exponentially higher now that Dabi wasn’t trying to hold him on the edge of climax. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time for him to acquiesce to Dabi’s request, as he tightened up in a full body clench before gripping Dabi’s hair and spilling rope after rope of hot, sticky release straight onto his roommate’s tongue.
Dabi, the fucking slut, made a show of swallowing every drop that spilled from Tomura’s abused cock, milking his prostate the whole time and only letting Tomura slip from his mouth when he was soft and finally spent.
The fingers in his ass remained though, still for the most part and slowly dipping in and out every so often. Tomura whimpered and clenched but was somewhat thankful for the remaining feeling of fullness.
“So, did you really mean all that?” Dabi asked with his signature smirk. “You really want your group project partner to cockwarm you and fuck your tight little ass?”
“Fuck off,” Tomura scowled and smacked Dabi hard across the face with an errant pillow.
Dabi yanked it from his grasp and tossed his ammunition onto the floor. “Hey, it’s not actually too bad in here,” he wiggled his fingers for emphasis which elicited an embarrassingly high gasp from Tomura, “give ‘em my number if you need a reference for asshole tightness.”
“Get the fuck out of my ass and my room,” Tomura kicked at Dabi’s back as it shook with laughter that lacked it’s usual jeering bite.
“What? Saving the cuddles for your new S/O?” he shot back, nuzzling his cum and spit covered face into Tomura’s neck.
With their chests pressed together, Tomura could feel the cooling, sticky remnants of Dabi’s own release coating his stomach. He squirmed against the sensation and pushed at the offending chest until his friend flopped down onto the scant space left between the mattress and the wall.
“Ew,” Tomura ran a finger through the mess Dabi had left smeared on him. “I’m taking a fucking shower.”
“God, finally!” Dabi exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and producing a cigarette from god knows where. He let the paper rest between his lips unlit. “I should have thought about getting you fucked out on the reg earlier, creep, if it’ll stop you smelling like ass.”
Tomura launched the discarded pillow which hit it’s mark with a dull thump.
“You better be fucking gone when I get back,” he hissed and stumbled naked, on shaking legs into the hall and to their shared bathroom.
Dabi’s cackling followed him until the door shut and the lock clicked behind him.
Tomura turned the water on quickly, letting steam cloud the mirror before he jumped under the spray. The only products on the shelves were Dabi’s for the most part with the exception of a store brand bar of soap and some 3 in one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.
Tomura knew he should clean himself more often, but his skin was so fucking raw all the time it hurt to do, so he mostly avoided it unless the smell got really unbearable—or Dabi was painting him in jizz whenever the opportunity presented itself.
He tried to get in and out as quickly as possible so he didn’t have the opportunity to think too hard about the admission his fuck buddy roommate had pulled from him mid blow job. Because if he did—in his post nut, clingy state—he’d most certainly imagine you were with him, tits pressed against his back and your soft, insistent tongue dipping past his lips, tasting like fruit gum and expensive cafe drinks instead of nicotine and cum.
And he really couldn’t handle that. Cause Dabi was right, he had something fucking bad for you and the thought of another rejection loomed large.
When he did towel himself off and shuffle, still naked back into his bedroom Dabi was nowhere to be seen. Tomura’s phone however, was left sitting right next to the jizz stain on his sheets. He frowned at the open balcony door where Dabi was no doubt smoking and snatched the device before tumbling onto the pillows.
He powered it on and scrolled through his notifs before one caught his eyes. You and Dabi were really the only people that ever texted him, but the contact name above this one had changed.
bitch (endearing)
— hey, starting an impromptu round of Smash soon if you’re interested <3
The stupid text heart made his chest throb and he stared at Dabi’s new nickname for you, not even noticing the fucking grin that tugged at his cheeks.
He bit his lip to stop the twitching when it pulled too hard at the chapped skin and scrambled for his clothes before shooting a quick confirmation text back. Tomura opted for his only pair of black jeans this time instead of sweats and the least stained sweatshirt he owned.
Dabi peaked around the corner when he heard the clink of Tomura’s keys. The bastard was smoking in just a pair of underwear that left half his ass on display for all the whole fucking street. He smirked, quirking his eyebrows and bringing his hands up to slip his index finger through the circle he made on the other hand in a silent, vulgar gesture.
“Screw off,” Tomura shouted over his shoulder and made for the door.
“Wrap it before you tap it, bro!” Dabi called after him, cut off by the subsequent slamming.
Tomura took the stairs two at a time, pulling out his phone and tucking the hood over his damp hair, this time to hide the growing smile playing at his lips.
#tomura shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura x reader#tomura shigaraki x you#tomura x reader#shigaraki x reader#tomura shigaraki x dabi#shigaraki x dabi#shigadabi#bee.writes
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was thinking for toms most recent ig story it sounds like hes working out early everyday, what if u did a blurb where the reader does it with his and its like best friend --> something else ? sounded like a you type of story, id love if you gave it a go ❤️💕
oohkay so sorry this lit just came through this evening and I suddenly got v stupidly into it (if u put in a req before that I promise I am working on it I just got way to invested cos this is stupidly cute) xxxx
summary: what starts off as tom taking you under his wing and some sunrise workouts together might just develop into something more
“It shouldn’t be legal…. to be doing anything… this fucking early!” Spoken, well yelled, in between the fake strokes of the exercise bike and your pants. All you got in response was the two men laughing at you, no sign of sympathy at all, as your gritted your teeth - fighting against every body instinct to stop the movements. Your heart was pumping like the clappers; breathing shallow and rushed and your arms… your arms felt like they were about to fall off. Combine that with the lack of sleep from waking up before the sun did at 5 am - meant you felt like your were in literal hell.
Why ever you’d agreed to do these workouts with Tom and Duffy escaped you. Being the new and rising actress, with a new supporting role in the next Spiderman, meant you’d spent a lot of time with Tom over the past few weeks. Not to inflate his ego either, but Tom had been a real life hero to you. See, you were the complete opposite of his experienced and seasoned professionalism - this was your first acting gig. And what a gig it was, the second biggest part in a Marvel movie. You never really believed you’d get the part and even when you did, were pretty sure it was some elaborate joke, where Ant and Dec were going to jump out from some corner and go ‘ha its a prank!’ or something.
Yet somehow it was all still happening, you had been flown halfway across the world to spend three months alone on a film set. Well obviously not alone, but you knew no one - you were a complete outsider. That, really, was the reason you’d agreed to do these sessions with Tom. He’d offered half heartedly while between takes as you were moaning about how out of breath you got in that scene. At that point, you’d only known each other for a matter of weeks, he really hadn’t expected you to commit to 5 am each and every morning. What he wasn’t aware of though, was how ocmplerly stranded and lonely you felt here, hence why you jumped at his offer.
And yes you loved to moan and complain when you were there, however you were also so incredibly thankful he ever offered. Duffy, Tom’s PT, was a right laugh too and he took great joy in torturing you - and was also entertained by the new and inventive ways you’d insult him after he ordered you about.
“Come on Y/n, 200m more and then we are done, even your little arms can survive that.”
“Really … not the encouragement… I was looking for.” Still panting, face bright red and blotchy as you pressed your legs straight again.
“Tom? You wanna help Y/n out?”
“Nah you know… kind of enjoying seeing her in pain.” The British voice laughed from somewhere behind you, making you roll your eyes.
“Why the hell… are you not… torturing him?” He sounded way to comfortable and relaxed to be working hard.
“He’s got a stunt heavy day today so wanted to go easy this morning.”
Now that was a bloody joke. You were BOTH filming the SAME scene today, doing the SAME stunts.
“Did I forget to mention Y/n is on set too?” The joy in Tom’s voice made you want to do horrible things to him. Even though you felt like you wanted to collapse on the floor, you’d happily do a set or two on a punch bag right now - if that punch bag was Tom’s face.
Before you could hurl some fresh abuse at your costar, Duffy called time on the rowing machine, turning the display off and passing your water bottle over as you slouched on the slidey seat.
“Done good Y/n/n, I am actually super impressed with your progress” The stocky man patted you on the back genuinely, bringing a bit of smile to your otherwise grimacing face. He went over the chat to Tom about some boy shit that you couldn’t care less about, allowing you a couple minutes to get your breath back. As soon as you did and tried to dismount the machine of death, your ruined legs seemed to have other plans, shakily buckling so you ended up starfished on the floor, groaning at the dull ache that came with the sudden movement.
And what show of concern did Duffy show you? A belly laugh that echoed round Toms indoor gym making you groan again, throwing your forearm over your eyes. It was in fact the curly haired brunette, who came and knelt by your side, wordlessly balling up the towel and placing it under your head as you shot your eyes open in shock.
“You okay? Sorry… I might’ve taken our friendly competition a bit too far.”
“I just… just might have to gain the power of flight this afternoon cos my legs aren’t gonna bloody work.” Tom chuckled and shook his head at your dry humour.
“Oh I’m sure we can talk to Jon and get that arranged… not like Marvel don’t spend years crafting the script and storyline for a newbie actor to change it all.”
“Might I remind you… they wouldn’t have to if your weren’t such a dickhead!” You exclaimed, sitting up and staring at him with an exasperated look than only made him burst out laughing again.
“I’m sorry I’m sorry… I just cant take you seriously when you look like such a tomato!” His voice went an octave higher as he laughed at himself, the situation getting even worse for you when you heard Duffy join in too.
The boy was bloody lucky you couldn’t lift your arms right now, otherwise they’s almost certainly be attempting to ruin his pretty boy face.
/////////////////////////////
After a long day of shooting you and Tom were in one of the set buggies, being taken back to your trailers to change for the evening. There was a peaceful silence until Tom ruined it yet again.
“ Got any fancy plans for this evening then?”
“Well you know me, back to my lonely little old place and frozen pizza - so living the movie star life.”
“It’s a Friday! You not going out with your team or anything?” He sounded so bemused at your quiet plans, and mention of a ‘team’ had you cocking your head to the side.
“‘My team?’ Tom until I get my movie star pay check I can barely afford my pizzas, never mind a whole persons wage.” You were still only three weeks into filming and although you spent an hour every other morning sweating your ass off with Tom - apart from that you’d tried not to impose yourself on him too much. You didnt want to look clingy and naturally Tom always had a mountain of people vying for his attention - you would go to the back of a long line. So honestly, you were still a bit of a mystery to him, right now you’d both only scratched the surface on each other.
“Really? I know this is your first big job but I thought you’d have someone here?”
“Nah… I mean I’ve kinda clung to the Marty on the camera crew but he’s going to see family tonight sooo.”
“Come back to mine. I’ve swapped Harry for his twin Sam, which is a bit of an upgrade cos Sam’s a chef. He just arrived last night. I bet he can one up any pizza you were planning on.”
“Honestly I don’t want to impose, sorry I didnt mean for this to be a pity party or-“ The buggy slowed to a stop and Tom instantly vaulted out of it, standing right infront of you and blocking you exist off the back sofa. Both of you were still in costume, Tom in latex and you in your corset-esque two piece, but then both wrapped in matching long line black jackets supplied by set.
“No come on I’m serious… Sam’s dying to meet you and it’d be good to spend more time together. You know, cos of chemistry and all.” The last bit was a switch from his cool and smooth, normally easy going tone - into something a bit more… anxious? Just like that, before your brain even knew what it was doing, you agreed, smiling broadly and nodding.
So barely an hour later, you were knocking on the doors to Tom’s mansion-ish rented Atlanta home which was much much more grand than what the studio had arranged for you. Even though you were here most mornings, this time it felt different. Yeh it was stupid, but you can’t help the way you feel and you were stressed. For no real reason… just, just because.
Thankfully, it wasn’t awkward at all and you especially instantly hit it off with his younger brother Sam. Everything just felt easy and simple which meant so much more considering you’d felt so isolated an alone halfway across the world for your home comforts. Being British too, simply chatting to the two young men about your hometown and growing up was just so familiar, it really helped you feel less homesick. Naturally too, you’d fallen into a casual and friendly ribbing of Tom with Sam, making the three of you spend to majority of the evening cracking up (or in Tom’s case pouting at the abuse). It was a nice change from the two on one attack you got from Tom and Duffy that morning. You’d all cooked dinner together… well no, you and Tom had stood idly watching Sam cook an amazing chicken curry dish - which he promised to give you the recipe too. Honestly Sam felt like your long lost best friend, especially when it came to your shared ability to berate Tom for anything and everything.
About an hour ago Tom had stuck on the film, effectively shutting up you and Sam - thankfully for him since Sam was just about to get to some rather embarrassing stories of Tom as a kid. You and Tom were on the longer grey sofa; with Sam sat the other side of the coffee table in an impressively soft armchair - looking as though it was swallowing the lanky boy. The calm, the silence and the comfort was only going to go one way for you though. After your workout this morning, plus all the running and jumping during the shoot, after what had already been a pretty intense week, it was hardly surprising that you didn’t even notice yourself drifting off the sleep.
Who did notice though? Perhaps your brown haired costar who’d been stealing glances across to you ever since the movie had been put on? Because as much as he hated to admit it to himself, this didnt seem to be panning out as a normal job. A normal job is something you put your all into, for a couple weeks, and then leave with good memories and a good pay check. Yes, he had only known your for a matter of weeks or so but it already seemed to be unfathomable to cut ties with you. How would he go without your kind mannered abuse everyday? You were just refreshing, new and mysterious. And Tom was more than intrigued, his interest was peaked.
And it was stupid to feel like that…. Of course it was. You can’t fancy a colleague because things get complicated and awkward. Tom knew that.
Then why was he now delicately draping a blanket over your frame and smiling smally when you hummed in your sleep, in what seemed to be a show of appreciation for the layer of warmth?
Because you were his excited puppy of a costar who is giving everything she has for the job? Because he is worried and wants to look after you? Because he cares?
No matter why, in that moment you were contented and as was Tom. Oh and Sam?
Sam saw the tell tale signs in his brother. He saw the way Tom had been touching your arm or the small of your back just a little more than what would be considered normal while he’d been cooking. He’d seen the way Tom had been laughing purely because you had. His eldest brother never did anything rash, it was always a painfully slow process for everyone involved. But Sam thought this just might be the start of something. The start of a slow burn.
#tom holland#tom holland fluff#tom holland x reader#tomholland#Tom Holland angst#tom holland x y/n#tom holland x actress!reader#tom holland x you#sam holland
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DON'T YOU SEE
JJ x Plus size reader
No fuxking clue how many words this is but here you go, my first fic in ages! I hope y'all enjoy.
Fluffy soft JJ is the whole plot really.
You laid on the HMS Pogue, an oversized shirt covering your body as everyone else swam around the boat. Your hands were pressed into the soft flesh of your abdomen, you felt the bit where your stomach stuck out where your bikini pressed too much into your chub. Your friends looked to be having an amazing time, and you wishes so much to join them, but there was a deepest fear of rejection and mockery for your body. The rest of the pogues had already seen you in a swim suit before but today felt different, when you woke up and looked in the mirror, it felt wrong, you felt bigger, misshapen, unattractive, simply, you felt wrong. JJ watched you from the water, his eyes scanning your still figure, admiring how your shirt feel across your breasts, tucking into your back roll, slipping down off your belly and ending at your thick thighs. God, your thighs, part of him wanted to bite the soft flesh of your inner thighs as you wrapped your legs around this head. He shook his head, trying to get the thought out of his head because he could feel himself growing hard.
"Y/n, you joining us?" JJ called, trying to distract from his smutty thoughts.
"Nah, not today, sorry JJ," you replied, rolling your head to the side to look at him as you spoke.
"Aw, come on, the waters great and it's so hot out you have to swim," Kie shouted as she splashed at John B and Pope who wrote annoying her.
"Y/n, if you dont come in I'm pulling you in," JJ spoke, swimming closer to the boat, "I'm serious"
You looked down at him, seeing the threat behind his eyes, you stood up, it was slightly painfull seeing as your sweaty thighs had stuck to the fiberglass of the boat. You sucked in a deep breath, tugging the shirt over your head, leaving you in just your high waisted bikini. JJs eyes widened, he let out a low whistle, mumbling 'damn'. Had it been most other days you wouldnt have caught the adoration in his voice but you would have taken his explitive as a compliment, but you weren't like you were most other days. Taking his words as mockery, tears pricked your eyes, you dove over him, entering the water just behind him and diving deeper and swimming underneath his legs and under the boat, gasping for breath when you came up on the other side. You laid in your back, ears under water as you caught your breath, what you couldn't hear was the group freaking out, especially JJ.
"Y/n should have come up by now" he spoke, spinning himself around in the water.
"Yeah, they should have," John B agreed looking down into the murky depths past his feet but seeing nothing.
"Y/N!" JJ called before diving down, looking to see if you had hit a rock or something but unable to find any sign of you.
You lifted your head out of the water, hearing your friends call out for you, and it clicked, something you hadn't realized in your fog of self loathing that you had dove into the water and then disappeared. They must be freaking out, you thought as you gripped the edge of the boat, kicking you legs as you hoisted yourself in, grabbing your shirt immediately to cover your body.
"Hey guys," you hollered, catching there attention as they all searched for you.
"Y/N, what the actual fuck, we thought you drowned" Pope yelled
"You scared the shit out of me," John B chimed in
"If you ever do some shit like that again you're dead to me, I was so worried" Kie added finally
JJ, as opposed to everyone else didnt say anything, just climbed into the boat and enveloped you in a hug. You flinched at the contact, not wanting anyone to feel how big you were.
"I thought you died," he whispered in your ear, and something in his voice broke when he spoke.
"Well I'm alive," you spoke, coldly, remembering what he said. He pulled back from the embrace, trying to look you in the eye, sensing that something was off.
"Yo, you good" he asked gently, still trying to catch your eye.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just remembered that my mom needed me home for something" it was a total lie, the only thing that your mom needed you to do was to stay the fuck out of her way.
"Oh, okay, guys we got to get Y/n home, they have something to do," JJ shouted to the rest of the group, even though he didnt really believe it.
The group was quick to return to shore, all piling into the twinkie to get you home. John B., Pope, and Kie all spent the way to your house chatting, but you stayed quiet, your hands fiddling in your lap, JJ was quiet too, watching you with concern and curiosity in his eyes, what was up with you? You never would have done the disappearing act earlier on any other day, you knew it would cause too much concern, he was also worried about your silence, you were often such a talkative and fun person.
"Sorry for cutting the fun short guys," you broke your silence as you stepped out of the van.
"Nah, it's fine, you didnt, cause ya know, the fun never ends," John B. smiled at you
"Plus, there is always time tonight, we could meet back up at the Chateau," Pope chimed in.
"Yeah, maybe," you smiled softly, thinking about how you didnt want to see anyone else today, just lay in bed. As you climbed the steps to your house someone caught your wrist making you turn around, your eyes meeting JJs. As soon as you saw him, you felt your heart melt a little, how gently his hand was on yours, but then you remembered what he said earlier. You pulled your wrist from his grasp, looking him dead in the eye.
"Yes, JJ?" You asked, a slight bitterness in your tone, causing him to step back.
"I-I just wanted to say goodbye," he said, scratching the back of his neck anxiously.
"Oh, bye" you said, opening the door and closing it quickly behind you, your back hitting the wood.
JJ stood there for a second, staring at the paint peeling off the door, feeling wounded at your coldness.
"Hey JJ, you comin?" Kie yelled at him from the Twinkie, snapping him out of it.
"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, jogging back down the steps.
You stayed in your room for hours, your phone buzzing on the night stand as you hid under the covers. The sun had set on the water, the sky still shining a faded orange and purple. You hadn't moved since you got home, just laid in bed and let your mind stop, the existence of your body disappearing beneath the covers.
Your cheeks were damp with tears, wiping them away as they feel was too much work. There was a light knock on your window, making you shoot up straight in bed, looking at the window pain, behind sat a very concerned looking JJ.
You got out of bed, lifting up the window and stepping aside so JJ could climb in, this was something he had done before, crash at your house if he was tired of John B. but didnt want to go home.
"Hey Y/n," he spoke softly, a rarity for JJ
"JJ, what are you doing here?" you hissed, still not wanting to be around anyone
"Well, you weren't answering your phone and you were acting really weird earlier so I, I got worried"
"Yeah, like you care" you snapped, still over reacting at his words earlier
"What the fuck is your deal," he bit back "I'm trying to be nice, to be a good friend, and maybe make you realize that I fucking like you but you keep shooting me down,"
"What?" you muttered
"Nevermind, I shouldn't be here," he said, making a move for the window.
"No, you cant like me," that caught his attention, he turned around, your face was confused, your brain clearly trying to put things together, "how could you like me when I look like this, I mean, you even mocked me this morning,"
"Wait, what? Mocking you? When, what? And why the fuck cant I like you, is there some rule somewhere written in fucking stone,"
"Yeah, you made a mocking cat call when I took off my shirt to swim,"
"You thought I was mocking you?" His brow furrowed "I wasnt mocking you, that was genuine, I was trying to get you to realize that I have a thing for you!"
"JJ why?"
"Why? Why what? Why do I like you? Are you serious? Have you seen yourself!"
"Yes, yes I fucking have and that's exactly why you cant like me," you yelled, a tear escaping your eye.
"What are you even saying, Y/n?"
"This" you gestured to your body "This is why you cant like me, I'm fat JJ, I jiggle and my thighs rub, I have back rolls, I-" JJ cut you off, grabbing your face in his hands, thumbing your cheeks softly as he pressed his lips to yours hastily. You melted into him, giving yourself to the kiss, as if something in you surrendered to his affection.
You both pulled away, gasping for breath, forehead leaning on each other.
"Y/n, I like you, and that's always been something I've had a hard time saying, but I do, I like how you stomach sticks out, and how thick your thighs are, sometimes I imagine myself between them," you pulled back, looking him dead in the eye and biting your lip. "Moving on, I like how your boobs aren't a handful, they are like 5 handfuls, and how soft your back rolls are, I like you, I like your body, so get that through your dumb head," he joked, tapping your skull causing you to giggle. He pushed you down onto the bed, him landing softly on top of you. "Now that's out of the way, will you please just be mine, Y/n?"
"Yeah, JJ, I'll be yours, happily," his face broke into a smile as he ran his hands up and down your sides, leaning down and mashing his lips with yours.
#jj maybank#jj x reader#obx#obx netflix#obx fic#jj fluff#jj x plussizereader#plus size reader insert#john b#outer banks#jjxreader#jj maybank fluff
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OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA
first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION
here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.
MAGNUS' CHAPTER
LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO
AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY
SCREAM
oh
alec shaved his beard because it made him look older
RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??
magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg
“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”
“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.
Im not even surprised at this point
“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.
“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.
Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”
“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.
IM WHEEZING
DAVID BAKES
“David made it,” Max said shyly. "
Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”
Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.
And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.
ALEC STOP TEASING HIM
THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED
“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”
“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.
ALEC
“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”
“Compensated how?” Alec asked.
“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”
when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv
iykyk
but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself
“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”
The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.
“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.
Alec blinked at that.
the secret...
I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD
is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?
what if i cried
i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont
“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”
“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”
RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS
THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES
how tf do you think we have survived huh??
medicine that's how
vaccines, anti biotics and what not
stop being close-minded and fucking do it
ok i know the risk is great
BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE
it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.
And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.
how things change...
what
say what
the causes are what
ok let's not jump to conclusions
im fucking crying wtf
alec doesnt deserve this shit
all he's done is make the world a better place
hes worked so hard on this
RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF
what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am
He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.
Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.
please alec
no please
THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES
Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.
AND I'LL GO WITH HIM
KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY
AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET
blue and gold
STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN
The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.
HUH
HUHU
HUH
omg
GIGI GETTING A SIBLING
“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”
thats my boi
GASP
]THE NECKLACE
rafael is growing into the consul voice
they grow up so fast
nope nope he's still the little 5 year old
voice cracking what do you mean he's 20
im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?
Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.
He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.
well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)
“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.
"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.
me with all my online friends
probably more miles
Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.
me
But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.
NOT NOW
LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION
HUSH
“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.
“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”
AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV
i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are
time to google
OK PRETTY
Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.
dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY
“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.
Max-
Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.
HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ
it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING
“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”
“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”
“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”
yes.
Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.
Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.
Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.
muffled sob
“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.
Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.
“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”
why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me
ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU
“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”
IM SCREAMING
Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.
i need that top
DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC
AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET
The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.
OH MY GOD THE CHAOS
Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”
“No,” they all replied in chorus.
LET GIGI MELT IT
SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU
“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”
“Why?” Rafael asked.
“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.
“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”
“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.
YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED
AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS
he actually gave to camille first-
Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?
why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????
oh shit
well well well
david bby stfu
i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes
“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”
“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.
MAX NO-
OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM
oh no
pls dont fight
oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet
all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent
dont mind me just
NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID
GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS
don't do this to me at 3 am
OK THE DILF PART
thank you for adding light into my life again
(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-
ANYWAY
wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this
ok i got bored of the rain)
that made me laugh through my tears
“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”
“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.
“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”
“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”
LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU
“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”
David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.
“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.
“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”
“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.
“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.
THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD
“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”
add me to it
ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE
“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”
“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”
“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”
“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”
“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.
“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.
David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.
“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.
Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”
She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.
“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”
“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”
He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.
“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.
WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe
TELL ME
AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT
google translator time
oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila
Magnus you're such a good father
seriously
“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”
YES
SAY IT LOUDER
THEY ARE UNDER THE BED
AHHH MAX AND DAVID
DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH
Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-
Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.
of course, he did smh I love him so much
“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”
David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”
“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”
the beloved relatives yes
“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”
JACE
OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING
damn it
oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking
just lemme have this moment
my boy's lungs will be intact
HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK
“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.
Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”
SCREAMING
In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.
what
wait
THE PROPHETIC DREAMS
nope nope nope
Nah I don't know what you're talking about
haha
damn, I think I really hurt my back...
OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????
"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH
alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)
OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...
I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!
OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.
I hope your knee and back feels better soon!
also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.
I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.
Take care!
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I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre
Chapter 1
Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart
WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC
PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!
King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK
This baby so cute 🥺
I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while
Congrats on Baki for that mantis
Chapter 2
Who tf is this kid?
Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki
Look at my boyyy
HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET
Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT
Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"
Chapter 3
AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO
But i like Baki memeing a round a lil
Chapter 4
🥺🥺 that's so sweet...
HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳
Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao
I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self
Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright
Chapter 5
Yuri? 🥺 /j
THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!
Chapter 6
I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33
Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king
Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?
We all salivating
Chapter 7
Love to see there are even more swears there now
I can put my face next to my foot too tho
FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍
Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca
WHAT?!
I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him
Chapter 8
"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY
This fight is going to be good
Chapter 9
Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao
Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?
Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)
Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰
Chapter 10
OH FUCK IT'S TRUE
Chapter 11
This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break
Baki just can't win against nature eh
This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda
Chapter 12
I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers
This fight is slow but cool but slow
To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎
Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so
Chapter 13
I MISS IGARI FUCKKK
This is so dumb i luv it
That mantis be swearing lmao
Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro
Chapter 14
TOBA...
Holy fuck do mantis fly?
Secret Chapter?
Is this how Yujiro got born?
Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you
WHAT.
I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK
I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing
AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD
Chapter 15
GAIA...
Why is he like this?
Is "he" with us right now?
...gotta admit that IS true...
I love Strydum sksgwhwg
Yujiro really went XD
I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong
Chapter 16
GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!
ANIME KENNEDY?!
I can't believe Bush is dead
AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...
8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn
I'm sorry, what?
LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭
I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH
This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser
Chapter 17
BIG NUMBER
That one mf like 😐
Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌
Love to see Oliva back
Chapter 18
This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore
I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still
Toba used to just chew that off
Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?
I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.
Chapter 19
Yanagi baby i miss you...
IRON MICHAEL?!
Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴
Eh got my hopes too high
CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS
I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE
I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo
Chapter 20
HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD
I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭
Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so
Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day
He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too
Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj
Chapter 21
Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...
Chapter 22
GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"
I'm falling in love with this boludo myself
That's talented and brutal
OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT
Chapter 23
Hm that's, cringe
YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO
OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS
Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao
King shit Baki boy
Chapter 24
Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair
I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least
Chapter 25
I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally
I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments
OH SHIT
😳 :Y
He's sooo nice 😍
Chapter 26
Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️
HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3
I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn
What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍
GET HIS ASS BAKI
Chapter 27
Why is this guy sweating sm?
LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS
I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl
Chapter 28
I feel like Ian will die
Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book
Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down
I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do
Chapter 29
Their faces remind me of Doyle
OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME
ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔
I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage
Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair
Chapter 30
The mouth vs Yujiro when?
Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️
Chapter 31
Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing
These three must be great at sex (sorry)
KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"
Chapter 32
Hehe hello Junnn~
KSHAKDHKWGS
La luna
Chapter 33
LOS TRES...
Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)
I'm so glad i know Spanish
The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian
OSHSKWGSKSG
Chapter 34
Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did
With his own blood, that's so cool...
Hoho...!
I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well
Chapter 35
This book is fucking boring NGL
"now that you got no more urine left in you"
AH.
GAHDYR LMAO
Chapter 36
HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN
HHH he kinda cute...
Oww :(
JDJSJFRGAJ
God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before
AND he took a piss.
LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS
Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔
ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW
Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j
Chapter 37
I luv Oliva lol
AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED
I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is
Chapter 38
LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG
He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/
Oliva is a king
OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-
Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young
Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos
Baki is just dead
Chapter 39
I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time
POOR GUY AJSGSWJW
I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so
Chapter 40
I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl
I feel happy for him tho 🥺
Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐
Chapter 41
These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet
YO INSANE
Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰
Chapter 42
Damn she lorge
He loves fighting naked eh
Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true
Chapter 43
Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold
El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,
Something something fingering joke
Sikorski could fold a coin too
I bet the bandana will break
Chapter 44
I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?
Oh that super fun to know!
Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!
Chapter 45
NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM
This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters
Chapter 46
They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point
LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???
Baki wants his protagonism back
I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐
Chapter 47
Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭
His damn bandana...
#luly talks#i hit character limit already waaa :(#but I'm too into this to stop reading lol#btg#this saga is a bit boring but el che is funny :)#baki liveblog
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