#i cant believe how much effort i put into this

[inkois]

uh idk man i just really like Akito

WARNING: EVENT SPOILERS FOR THE SOUNDS OF A SUMMER FESTIVAL, FIND A WAY OUT, STRAY BAD DOG.

Elementary school Akito(SF!Akito), Pre-BAD DOGS Akito(PBDS!Akito), BAD DOGS Akito(BDS!Akito), and to some extent, early VBS Akito was such an anxious, insecure mess.

Well, current day Akito is still a mess, but less of one.

SF!Akito started the perfectionism issues that we see in him today. He played one soccer game, one that meant a great deal to him, and lost the game, despite how hard he worked. Now, that might not seem like a huge deal on the surface, but that game meant a huge deal to SF!Akito. He’d put in so much time and effort in order to win the game, only to get completely destroyed by the opposing team. The feeling of disappointment must have been immense for him, the ace of the team, the one that everyone’s supposed to rely on. And he failed them. He couldn’t pull out a win. This is where his perfectionism issues started(1).

When SF!Akito decided to dive headfirst into music, he had no support systems from anyone. His parents, from what we can tell, are absent from his life during middle school, not even showing up once in the event(The Sounds of a Summer Festival). Despite Ena pushing him into music, she had her own issues(cough cough her dad and entrance exams to art school) to deal with and it’s not her fault in the slightest(4). SF!Akito also cut off contact with Shota, his middle school soccer friend and only remeets him later on when he invites current day Akito to the summer festival event(2).

So without any support, he took on this new world he’d discovered, alone.

This is how we ended up with PBDS!Akito. An absolute mess of perfectionism and anxiety issues. He was without a support system who could only do his best to try and fit into a street culture he knows almost nothing about. He went in blindly, singing loudly and caring far too much about how he sounded. He needed to be good at what he was passionate about, so he stuck around for hours, practicing till his voice became hoarse and longer work(4).

PBDS!Akito was desperate to prove to himself that he was able to stick with something he was passionate about. This desperation in trying to prove himself would have him lashing out at anyone that questioned him(4). To the older musicians on the street, he came off as arrogant and disrespecting RAD WEEKEND(4). Ultimately, his refusal to back down(even though he knew he wasn’t prepared or experienced enough), his desperation to prove himself, and the older musicians’ pushing him around led to PBDS!Akito being humiliated at CRAWL GREEN(4).

After getting humiliated, he hated himself for not being good enough for the venue, even if he knew that he wasn’t experienced enough to perform there(5). He became so frustrated that all his efforts amounted to nothing, just like SF!Akito’s efforts did when he played soccer.

When Ken started a conversation with PBDS!Akito, he had been mentally preparing himself to be told to quit singing and quit trying.

“Junior High Akito: (If he tells me to quit singing like the others…Then, I…)”(5)

But Ken subverted his expectations and told him that hitting setbacks is okay, feeling frustration is okay, and being afraid of not being good enough is okay, and that he can break through that wall if they fight against their self doubt and continue on the best they can(5).

This was PBDS!Akito’s first time experiencing someone who supported him and the sole reason he continued singing. If Ken had said anything that discouraged PBDS!Akito, we would have ended up with a Niigo!Akito. Jokes aside, Akito would have probably given up his dream of surpassing RAD WEEKEND and ended up in that same directionless state he was in when he quit soccer. Because of the support of a single person, Akito fought past his insecurities and continues to sing.

PBDS!Akito continues to sing and meets Touya. His partner and his other major support system. We don’t have much information about their original partnership’s dynamics, growth, and progress, but I’ll work with what I can glean from their partnership with the statements from one of the NPC’s, Mita Koutaro, during the events of STRAY BAD DOG.

When they team up to form BAD DOGS, BDS!Akito is in awe of his partner’s musical abilities. Touya has a deep understanding of music theory, has perfect pitch, and a steady sense of pulse, which are all things that someone can’t gain in a short amount of time. Despite having a supporter in Touya and being close friends with him, BDS!Akito can’t help but compare his own abilities(and feel inferior!) to his partner’s. This, combined with people in the crowd claiming that BDS!Akito is piggybacking off his partner and not putting in work,(6) leads to BDS!Akito working even harder to make up for his lack of knowledge(5).

“Kotaro: He kept at it, even when you weren’t there. Day and night, regardless if he could physically sing.”(6)

“Kotaro: I couldn’t get much out of him, but I think he was trying to keep up with you…”(6)

Later on, BDS!Akito seemingly calmed down after seeing that Touya won’t leave him. This is implied by Koutaro’s statement of “I don’t know how to put it, but it’s like he’s his old self again, you know?”(6) and “You know?, when you guys just became the BAD DOGS? I mean seriously…”

Despite having a better support system(KEN and Touya supporting him!), early in their partnership, BDS!Akito was still insecure, anxious, and worried about his partner leaving him because of his lack of skill. So he worked himself to the point of exhaustion in order to prove to himself(and possibly to other musicians on the street) that he deserved a spot at Touya's side.

When Akito eventually meets VBS, he’s still reluctant to open up and accept their help, but his insecurities doesn’t truly show up until the events of STRAY BAD DOG, when we meet another NPC, Tono Arata, who points out that Akito is the weakest of the group. He winds up overworking himself in order to try and prove that he’s not the weak link and deserves a spot at VBS’s side. 

“I have to keep getting better, so please, I need some time alone…”(5)

At the end of the event, the rest of VBS shows up to help him in his battle against Arata. At this point Akito realizes that he now has people that will support him, no matter what. But the dynamic of him playing catchup and working so much harder to feel worthy to stand by his teammates’ side still remains(this includes his newest JP server focus event, even if that event is him growing past his insecurities). However, current day Akito has grown into someone who is far more grounded, more willing to accept help from others, and less worried about constantly proving himself.

 (and no I will not be talking about BURN MY SOUL in this essay, it’s too long as is, but lemme know if you want one bc i deff be very happy to ramble about my greatest kinnie)

SOURCES

- The Sounds of a Summer Festival Ch 1

- The Sounds of a Summer Festival Ch 2

- The Sounds of a Summer Festival Ch 4

- Find a Way Out Ch 5

- STRAY BAD DOG Ch 5

- STRAY BAD DOG Ch 6

[koishua]

shining solo ep 8. my reaction rn 😐😐 took it a bit hard lmao

[fairsweetlonging]

adding these tags from @duohensheng <3

i love how it's not just binghe too, but all the people around him, and how we as the readers slowly learn that everything shen yuan does as shen qingqiu is actually not the norm, but very much out of place in the world of PIDW.

we see everything from shen yuan's eyes, and to him, his kind actions make sense, so we think they make sense too, but they don't. liu qingge was stunned at being saved by shen qingqiu, not just because he thought shen qingqiu hated him, but because it was an entirely selfless thing to do and SQQ wanted nothing in return but a chance at friendship. liu qingge returns that tenfold later with undying loyalty because an action like that is one of a kind

the same goes for zhuzhi-lang, who was, thus far, abhorred by everyone who saw him; SQQ stopped gongyi xiao from killing him simply because he saw a creature defending its habitat, not harming anyone, and even said they were the ones at fault for disturbing and agitating it, while also (tho unawarely) helping zhuzhi-lang get the sun-moon dew mushroom he wanted.

you see it with ning yingying and the other disciples; shen qingqiu notes that when he returns to qing jing peak after traveling, ning yingying seems to have missed him more than she did luo binghe, that she wasn't a grieving wreck, but stronger than ever and delighted to see him. ming fang was the one to step forward when SQQ "died" to tell luo binghe that SQQ always believed in him and was heart broken for years; ming fang was even willing to die to avenge SQQ's death, only stopping when ning yingying told him that shizun would never want that for them, which, again, is very uncommon for a world that puts so much honor on "dying for the cause".

and with luo binghe specifically it's important to remember that binghe doesn't fall in love with his shizun the moment he's nice(r) to him, he's actually confused, acknowledging that he thought his teacher didn't care about him at all until shen qingqiu said he believed binghe would win the match (which, in binghe's limited pov, was an huge risk that put SQQ's and the sect's honor on the line) and then got poisoned to protect him. like, shen qingqiu threw himself in front of his disciple and got injected with an incurable poison that causes a slow, painful death, to protect binghe.

if it was just about kindness then binghe would have fallen in love with ning yingying, but he didn't, it's about how much shen qingqiu was willing to risk for him to protect him, how much shen qingqiu believed in him even if binghe didn't believe in himself (as it says in book 1: "no one had ever believed in him like this"). the other peak masters wouldn't have done that, they wouldn't have been cruel, but they wouldn't have let binghe sleep in their house either, or protect him so fiercely, or spoil him so much.

in short, SQQ inspires others to give back the kindness he gives them; "a drop of kindness must be repaid by a flood" as zhuzhi-lang puts it.

One thing i feel like people misunderstand in Luo Binghe's character is the belief that he would have fallen for any other peak lord that became his Shizun and was not absolutely horrible to him like Og!Shen Qingqiu was when that's just not likely. The reason why Luo Binghe fell for post-transmitgation Shen Qingqiu is not because he suddenly became a teacher who didn't abuse him and treated him like any other discipline, it's because Shen Qingqiu consistently went out of his way to be kind to Luo Binghe in a way no one else in the world would have, like, what Shen Yuan did may seem basic to some people, but in the PIDW world? Bro was being the epitome of unrealistic kidness and he did ALL that only for Binghe because remember, that's his little sheep. Luo Binghe wouldn't have fallen for any other peak lord who became his Shizun because they wouldn't have treated him with the same amount of kindness (and preferential treatment) Shen Qingqiu gave him because that genuinely did not exist in the PIDW world until Shen Yuan transmitgated

[autism-corner]

wife

[pulquedeguayaba]

Im so dumb, didnt realise it was for censoring the tt 🤡

Amazing fanart tho 10/10 she never disappoints 🔥

[borderlineclown]

i so badly want to check her accounts bc i want to see how miserable she is but i know that isn't the reality

she moved on less than two months after the break up. less than two weeks after she was STILL begging me to get back together. all i would probably find is her content in her new relationship

[ribbonzregretz]

love me and my husband so much, best song ever for when youre mourning someone you loved who was godawful to you

[cheriladycl01]

Kinktober 31/10/2024 The Grid - Halloween Party

Plot: Halloween Party Couple Costumes

MAX VERSTAPPEN:

You both went to the party as the characters from Kill Bill, it was one of Max's favorite films and you were excited to dress up as the Bride. Originally you were going to go for the full latex outfit but because Max had a few parties in the same night you'd both be travelling between you had to do a bit of makeshift work.

"You look hot" he says looking over you as you unzip the bright yellow top you had on, just to show off a little more cleavage for him.

"Yeah?" you ask pulling the katana up and holding it in positions being goofy as he took some pictures of you.

"And i think dying your hair blonde ... good shout" he grins running his hands through your freshly dyed blonde locks just so you could pull of this Halloween costume without a wig.

LANDO NORRIS:

You wanted to be funny and go as Gru and Vector ... but no McLaren thought it was too 'silly' and wasn't a 'good image' for Lando as a now championship contender.

So you guys decided as you were only going to a small Quadrant Haloween party that you guys would go lowkey and just try and use as much stuff as you could from home.

Naturally you were both at home when he had the idea of both going as the game characters from Subway Surfers, out of all the games both you and Lando played you didn't expect to go as mobile game characters, something from Valorant or even Tarkov but no here you were with a red beanie, hitched up red underwear under low rise jeans and an empty aerosol can.

"Cant believe you convinced me into this" you shake your head, knowing all the girls there would be going as either really hot people or would be very funny like you'd intended ... but at least you were with Lando and you guys both couldn't escape the costume police you knew would be at the party.

"You love me babe now come on lets go jump some trains"

OSCAR PIASTRI:

When Oscar had met you when he first came to England you made of point of forcing him to binge your comfort show, Peaky Blinders with you which led to this years Halloween costume for the both of you.

While Oscar was the gentleman and got his outfit as show accurate as possible you took the hot slant on it despite having a shirt, waistcoat and jacket covering up the majority of your upper body leaving your legs to do all the hot girl work.

"We look good" Oscar smiled looking at you guys in the long full length mirror in your apartment as you guys were about to leave.

"You're right we do" you smile reaching up to kiss his cheek forgetting the bright red lipstick that was covering your lips.

"AH AH. Let them dry first" he says putting his finger on one showing the stain.

When you got to Logan's party you were met with such a different vibe. You and Oscar had decided to stay in America for Halloween which was a good choice as they were crazy for any kind of holiday celebration.

"Will anyone here know who we are?" you ask wondering if you're costume was too niche.

"Lets hope they don't, quick and easy conversations so we don't look rude and unimpressed" he kisses the side of you head, knowing how introverted you both are/

CARLOS SAINZ:

Of course you had to go as young Morticia and Gomez Addams. It was something you knew for a fact Carlos would look incredible in and you had the perfect features to pull of Morticia.

You guys were attending a Halloween Party that actually had a lot of the drivers at, it was in a club that had invited you all as a brand deal with F1 and you guys all didn't really have an excuse not to go.

You guys got an uber, which is a strange experience when you have a boyfriend who drives for a living.

So many of the other wags were there and a costume competition had been held which you and Carlos had ended up winning, you think Lando most defiantly forged the votes but you couldn't deny that you and Carlos looked like you both put the most amount off effort in.

CHARLES LECLERC:

Charles didn't ever really understand the hype for spooky season, enjoying other more family oriented holidays more such as Christmas or even birthdays.

But when you said that your sister was hosting a small party (that of course ended up being not so small at all) that she was dying for you to make an appearance at you had to go despite the late notice.

So there you guys were two days before ironing patches to blue and red tops you'd brought from the most accessible shops in Monaco and because you were bringing Charles and you wanted to match but with the lack of time options were thin.

So of course doing a really bad attempt at Sally and Lightening McQueen was the option Charles decided on and everyone at the party found you guys so funny especially once they realised who Charles was as a famous racing driver.

To say despite the 5 minute crafts outfit you guys put together you were everyone's choice of conversation both at the party and after.

YUKI TSUNODA:

Chef Linguine, absolutely not Chef Tsunoda and you as his Remi. It meant you got to dress up as a sexy mouse while Yuki could live his dreams of being a chef, dressing up in the whole outfit that you were surprised to see he just had in his closest already.

"You look like a cute mouse" he smiles looking over the white corset and sort grey skirt you'd opted for.

"Do i make a good Remi?" you ask sweetly and he nods.

"I still don't get why you didn't go as Collette" he sighs, thinking it would be odd for him to kiss you tonight when this was your outfit.

"Because canonically Collette is a better chef than Linguine because actually Linguine cannot cook without the rats help ... so I'm still not sure why i went as the rat. Maybe i should have gone as Chef Skinner" you groan now overthinking the whole costume.

FRANCO COLAPINTO:

Franco's nickname for you was 'princesa' so of course you going as one of the Disney Princesses made sense however when he said you guys should do Flynn Ryder and Rapunzel you almost lost your shit.

You were going to suggest the little mermaid as you'd love to see him in Prince Eric's soft pirate outfit but the Flynn outfit was just as exciting and you of course looked great in purple and could use your naturally blonde hair.

"Are you ready my Princesa?" he asks from the bottom of the stairs. You were expecting to turn round the corner with a soft graceful smile to see HIM awestruck at your costume.

Unfortunately god had other plans and it was you who was gobsmacked at your incredibly sexy boyfriend.

"Fuckkkkk Francoooo. Lets skip the party" you say running down the stairs to grip onto his arm.

FERNANDO ALONSO:

As an older couple on the grid who still loved a party and having fun you and Fernando decided old school was the best way forward. And for Fernando seeing you in sexy leather pants and a tight black top he was all but happy to keep pulling you away for sneaky kisses once you'd got to the club.

Nando was normally very ... sexually driven but this outfit of yours had turned him into some kind of beast and you were not complaining.

Especially when you guys got home that night.

ESTEBAN OCON:

Being the Marvel nerd that he was he'd asked if he could do Deadpool and you do Wolverine, which you did want to at first but when you couldn't find the right hairstyle and decided the outfit just didn't look good this year it fell through to be picked up another year.

Which is where his next idea came in, you'd both decided to go as Spiderman's he'd worn some grey joggers with him as the suit was pretty tight on him and he didn't want anything to come out in the media however you took the Spiderman look the whole way and for the whole night Estaban had to stay close to you warding off all the other guys who were watching you with what he explained to you as 'fuck me' eyes.

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[harleys1nhawaii]

USING YOU

pairing: dabi / todoroki touya x f!reader

warnings: smut, p in v, 18+ content, degration, humiliation, dabi being an asshole as usual, mocking, petnames etc. not proofread so yeah

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL BABYGIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE FIRE OF MY LOINS MY ONE AND ONLY SOURCE OF LIGHT IN THIS HELLISH LIFE I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING💙💙💗🎀 lol jokes aside i cant seem to finish none of the fucking drafts i have so tryna save my ass my posting smut. pray for me so i can be productive every once in a while<3

dabi watches you ride him with his hands lazily tucked under his head, his lips curled into a infuriating cocksure grin. he finds it utterly amusing that you — in your cute little head believe that you can get off without his help.

he can feel the way your nails dig in his burnt flesh deeper than necessary, and the way your cunt squeezes in desperation. if he waits just a little more, he’s sure that those tears — you struggle so hard to fight back — will eventually start pouring down.

“damn, look at you going.”

your glare could cut steel, but it only makes him chuckle. he’s been at this for a while, mocking encouraging you too cheekily for your liking. its no. he tilts his head, watching you with those icy blue eyes, half-lidded and lazy, as if this is nothing more than a casual afternoon for him.

"atta girl," he drawls, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "almost looks like you know what you're doing up there."

his mocking encouragement makes your blood boil. you dig your nails into his chest hard enough to leave crescent-shaped marks, but the bastard doesn't even flinch. if anything, his cock twitches inside you, and the smug look on his face somehow grows even more insufferable.

"you think this is funny?" you bite out, your voice sharp but trembling, betraying how close you are to breaking.

"oh, sweetheart, i think it's hilarious," he drawls, his tone teasing. "you’re working so hard, too. almost makes me feel bad."

almost.

dabi could be so much crueler. brutal, even. you both know for a damn fact that all it would take to break you further are those scarred, calloused hands — gripping your waist, pressing you down, and holding you still.

you know a man like him — a nasty dog with a sick, sick mind who lives the life for the thrill of it would not hesitate to amplify your torment. it ain’t something he didn’t do before, not in the slightest. and that ridiculous arrogance you were putting on, like you could keep up the facade, only made him more eager to tear it down.

“mhh—ah, fuck!” but then again, you sure were a sight to see. sweat glistening on your delicate, plushy skin. tits bouncing with every jump. your face scrunched into the purest mix of determination and desperation. brows furrowed, eyes squinting with need, lips parting to draw in sharp, ragged breaths.

you’re utterly adorable. and dabi’s stained heart harbors just enough innocence to show mercy. plus the way your tight, spasming walls clutch at his aching cock feels just right to stop it.

"need a hand there, doll?" his smirk deepens, his sharp teeth flashing like a predator toying with its prey.

“nah, you've got this, right? you’re a big girl. don’t let me stop you."

your thighs burn, muscles trembling with the effort, and you can feel the humiliating prick of tears at the corners of your eyes. his cock fits perfectly, the stretch overwhelming but delicious, and yet no matter how much you grind down on him, you're still not there.

but dabi? oh, dabi is patient. he’s the kind of man who takes pleasure in your defiance, only because it makes breaking you so much sweeter. he can see the cracks forming-how your breaths come quicker, how your movements grow more erratic, and how your nails dig into his scarred chest out of sheer frustration.

his tip kisses your cervix with each jump, his girth hitting all the right places, but it's not enough — not without his hands on you, guiding you, wrecking you like only he can.

it’s maddening. his nonchalance, the arrogance that radiates off him like it's his rightful crown. he lays there, sprawled out like he's the king of the damn world, watching you struggle for something only he can give.

and he has every right to be this way. you’ve dug your own grave by bitching that you didn’t need his help to cum, and now you were supposed to lie in it.

you lift yourself until only his tip remains inside before dropping back down, over and over. the motion repeats to the point where your cervix aches, and your walls grow numb from the strain. the slick mess coating both your thighs shines bright like a slap on your face. hours of jumping on his dick — yet still, no one of you has came.

"you done yet?" his tone is syrupy sweet, dripping with sarcasm. "or should i grab a book to pass the time?"

another roll of your hips, hard enough to probably break his dick, and he groans — not loud, but enough to let you know you're affecting him despite his infuriating composure. you think that maybe after this, he’ll decide to shut the fuck up.

though his grin shifts, becoming something darker, more predatory. his tongue darts out to wet his lips, and you know—you just know—he's about to make it worse.

“careful," he murmurs, his voice dropping an octave. "don’t start something you can't finish."

something in his gaze tells you to give up this torture already, and the effort you put into hiding the shiver that runs down your spine fuels his ego more than any words ever could.

“you think you can keep this up?” he raises his brows. the condescending gleam in his azure eyes is enough to shatter whatever remaining confidence is left in you to pretend.

“wanna cum so badly, but all you’re doing is making a mess of yourself on my dick, babe. don’t get mad at me just because you can't finish the job."

you bite back a frustrated whimper, refusing to give him the satisfaction of an answer.

“c’mon, doll.” he says just about a whisper. blue orbs shining with authority, far too eager to be considered sane. "what’s it gonna take? you gonna beg me? cry a little, maybe?"

"fuck you," you spit, your voice trembling as you no longer can keep your composure. the tears he predicted begin to well up in your eyes.

"oh, you are, babe." he thrusts up suddenly, and the unexpected movement rips a gasp from your lips. his hands finally leave their lazy position, gripping your hips tight enough to bruise as he slams into you once, twice, stealing your breath. "but you're just not doing it right."

your nails dig into his chest, your pride screaming at you to push him away, but your body betrays you, grinding down harder as his hips meet yours again. the bastard chuckles darkly.

"bet you wish you never started this, huh?" he teases, his voice dripping with malice. "can’t even finish, can't keep up. just a fucking mess."

your head tilts back, a moan slipping from your lips as the tension in your core coils tighter, closer to snapping with every thrust. you try to speak, to retort, but the words get caught in your throat as he fucks into you relentlessly, too deep, too fast, and it's all too much, too overwhelming, too fucking good.

the tears fall freely now, hot against your cheeks, and you bite down on your lip to stifle the sob that threatens to spill from your throat. you can’t fight them anymore—not when he’s balls deep inside your aching cunt, not when the coil in your abdomen boils with need.

“go on babe, beg me.” he chuckles maniacally as he thrusts into you so hard, you’d think it teared past your cervix if you weren’t burning with the need to cum. "i know you want to. i’ll even let you soak me if you ask real nice."

you glare down at him, teeth clenched, but the way his thumb brushes over your bottom lip makes you falter. his grin widens as he sees the defiance in your eyes waver, your body trembling with need.

"say it," he whispers, his voice low and taunting. "and maybe i’ll show you some mercy."

you hate him. you hate him — but the way his fingers dig into your waist and the heat in his gaze make it impossible to resist.

and you know, you just know that he can keep you on his dick for another 2 hours, make you sob and stain the whole bed until you beg him for that very mercy he’s offering you now.

"…please," you choke out, your voice barely above a whisper. it’s so pathetic that your eyes shut close at the sound of it.

for a moment he doesn't say a word, but the dark gleam in his eyes speaks volumes, and that sick, twisted satisfaction blooms on his face.

"good girl," he murmurs, the words dripping with mockery, but there's a faint edge of something else there too — something you don’t wanna inspect. "i knew you'd crack."

he doesn't give you a second to breathe. his hands grip your hips, guiding you to take the pace he wants, setting a brutal rhythm that leaves you no choice but to follow. the way he looks at you, like you're nothing more than a toy for him to play with is sick, and definitely isn’t something that should make your aching pussy clench around him.

“gonna pull some shit like that on me again?” he groans lowly. and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was plotting on your death by the dangerous look he’s giving you.

you shake your head, tears blurring your vision. you know that he thrives on the fright he gives you when his grip on you tightens. the way his cock twitches inside as he watches you sob brokenly.

"see? that’s all you had to do," he coos, his grip forcing you to keep pace with his punishing rhythm. "next time, maybe you'll remember who's in charge, yeah?"

he keeps slamming you down onto him, drawing strangled moans and broken cries from your throat. hips snapping up to meet yours with a punishing rhythm that has your vision blurring. his eyes drink in the sight of you losing every bit of control you had, his smirk softening into something wickedly affectionate.

"come on, baby," he urges, his voice rough and commanding. "give it to me. let me feel you."

and just like that, you shatter—your body convulsing around him, trembling and gasping his name like a prayer with juices gushing all over his dick. he groans at the feeling of you clenching around him, his own release following shortly after as he buries himself as deep as he can go, his grip on you tightening.

when you collapse against his chest, panting and spent, he tilts your chin up with a burnt finger, forcing your wet and lidded eyes meet his gaze.

"next time, don't try to play games you can't win," he murmurs, his voice low and smug, before leaning up to capture your lips in a bruising kiss, sealing his victory.

[veren-cos]

Hello! If your requests are still open I would like to ask for your headcanons on a specific scenario.

The farmer came back from the mines in a really bad shape. They had to go to the hospital to get multiple surgeries and now how to stay in bed for a while.

How would the stardew bachelors react to their spouse getting hurt so badly and how would they help them with chores and recovery?

My requests are always open!! They just take me a while to get through depending on motivation, inspiration, and just time to write lol. Basically, as long as I don't respond to an ask saying I cant/won't write it, it will get written. Now onto the fic!!

(No trigger warnings. Reader is hurt, yes, but there are no in detail descriptions)

Sam

• He passes put when he sees you.

• He lived relatively close to the clinic so I imagine he got there pretty fast after he heard what had happened.

• So he saw you pretty beat up.

• Once you were finally awake, he pulled you into a big hug. Which proceeded to make everything hurt worse as you were still bruised and healing.

• You let out a yelp and then Sam jumped off of you and nearly started crying from how much he was apologizing.

• He ended up having to be taken out of the room by Maru while Harvey talked to you.

• Sam helped you get home, but you better believe you aren't doing *anything* on your farm until you're fully healed.

• Sam was prepared to full on quit his job to take over your farm until you were healed.

• You had to convince him not to do that, so he just ended up taking less hours (which you still didn't like, but you appreciated his effort and sentiment)

• Once you were finally healed enough for him to hug you and give you cuddles, that man was not letting go of your for *days*.

Sebastian

• Sebastian would not know what to do.

• He never thought that he would have someone this important to him, and now you look damn near dead.

• He emotionally shut down for a long time after seeing you.

• But once Maru talked some sense into him outside of the clinic room, he was just so worried.

• He knew he wouldn't be able to fully take care of your farm, but he did basically live in with you.

• He works from home, so he just moved his work to *your* home.

• He cooked for you a lot. It started out with a lot of instant noodles, but he eventually broke out of that and made you other food.

• He wouldn't smother you, but he wanted you to know he would be there if you needed anything.

• He took great care of your animals, and made sure the weeds on your farm were taken care of.

• Unfortunately, he wasn't able to keep up with your crops. So you ended up loosing a season.

• But Sebastian being there with you made it so much better than rotting by yourself.

Alex

• Oh Alex would be pissed.

• He doesn't go on the mines. He could handle it, but he knows that it's dangerous and doesn't want to mess with it.

• But if he saw you all fucked up from the mines?

• Oh he would be pissed.

• Maru and Harvey would have to hold him back from going in the mines to beat up whatever hurt you.

• But when you woke up, Alex completely forgot about going down there, and rushed straight to your side.

• He was with you like a lost puppy.

• Alex only works in the summer, so even in the summer, Alex could completely take care of your farm.

• Like Sebastian, Alex basically moves in with you while you heal.

• Random, but the thing he found he liked the most about his time while you were healing was helping you shower. He thought it was a very domestic and cute moment. (Alex loves the little domestic moments and I will die on that hill. Same with Sam-)

• He would smother you compared to the other Bachelors, but he just doesn't want to see you get worse.

Harvey

• He sees it the worst.

• Like with the other Bachelor's, you're still in bad condition. But Harvey sees the raw injuries. And he has to be the one to operate.

• He nearly breaks down but after maru talking some sense into him, he pulls himself together.

• But after operating, he just falls apart.

• Breaks down crying, not leaving your side until you wake up.

• He is so worried. Yes, he is confident in his work.

• But if you don't wake up. You. Harvey would never forgive himself.

• So when you finally do wake up, he is all over you.

• Like. For weeks. He won't let you do *any* farm work. He tries to pull double time as doctor and farmer to fill in for you.

• So he crashes a burns.

• Eventually he ends up enlisting the help of the town to watch you and do some farm work until you're back on your feet.

Shane

• He froze when he saw you laying clinics bed.

• Like just stood there. It took so long to register that you were *that* hurt.

• When Harvey told him you'd be on bed rest for at least 2 weeks, he blanked out.

• The most important part was getting you home and better. Shane could deal with the farm, but there was no way in hell you were getting up once.

• He nearly fell back into a depressive episode because of all of the stress, but now he had you. He was learning to rely on Marney more.

• So Shane took care of the animals. He tried to keep up with the farm itself, but it was too much.

• He still had his job at Joja, so there was only so much he could do.

• He moved a mini cooler onto a nightstand by your bed, so you never had to get up for food or drinks.

• He watched movies with you a lot, and once you felt good enough, gave you a lot of cuddles.

• He tried to put on a brave face, but he was worried for you. He didn't think he was going enough, but Shane didn't know what else he *could* do.

• All in all, he tried his best. Nothing would go wrong with him taking care of you, but there would be a lot of work for you once you completely recovered.

Elliott

• He was utterly heartbroken

• It felt like a piece of him got bruised and broken along with you.

• Elliott isn't very strong, so while he can help with the animals, the farm is staying still.

• He reads poetry to you every night. It becomes a nice habbit even after you are healed.

• He is there for you emotionally. Get that hurt is very traumatic, and he just wants to be there for you.

• He makes sure to take care of you until you can take care of yourself again.

• But even after, he still would want to take care of you <3

Hope Y'all liked it, have a nice day!!

Masterlist

[mattsobvimyfav]

roommates (matthew sturniolo)

pt 26 -

a/n - im so sorry for whats about to happen.

Back at school, everything had that familiar mix of chaos and routine. After settling in, Charlie, Chris, Matt, and I decided to hang out in Charlie’s dorm to unwind after the first week back. Charlie’s room was small but cozy, with twinkly fairy lights draped across the walls and throw pillows scattered over the bed and futon.

Chris was sprawled on the futon, scrolling through his phone. “Your dorm is better than mine,” he said, squinting at the lights. “I can’t believe you actually put effort into it”

Charlie rolled her eyes from where she sat cross-legged on the bed. “That’s because I’m a teenage girl and you’re a straight man. We are not the same.”

Matt sat on the floor with his back propped against the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him. I was next to him, leaning against the bed frame. “You’re both insane,” he said, tossing a small pillow in Chris’s direction. “A dorm is a dorm. Who cares?”

“You say that because you’re boring,” Chris shot back, dodging the pillow and smirking.

“Boring?” Matt raised an eyebrow, leaning forward like he was about to argue.

“Boys, stop,” I cut in, laughing. “We get it. Interior design is a heated topic. I cant imagine how it would be if you guys ever got a house together.”

Chris glances over at Matt momentarily, quick enough that I almost missed it. But then Charlie laughed and nudged me with her foot, distracting me. “Right? Now, does anyone want snacks? I have popcorn and some chocolate.”

“I’ll take chocolate,” I said quickly, and Chris immediately followed with, “Me too, but only if it’s milk chocolate.”

“You’re such a kid,” Charlie teased, getting up to grab the stash from her desk. She tossed a chocolate bar at Chris, who almost missed it.

As everyone started snacking, the conversation turned to plans for the semester. Chris was trying to convince Charlie to come to one of their hockey practices, and she kept pretending to weigh the pros and cons.

“Just come,” Chris said, leaning forward. “We’ll even let you and Y/N sit on the bench.”

“Do I look like a coach to you?” Charlie quipped.

“More like a really bad mascot,” Matt muttered, smirking as Charlie threw a pillow at him.

The room filled with laughter, and it hit me how much I’d missed this—us all being together, no stress, no big plans, just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. 

Matt and I were curled up in bed, mindlessly watching some show we’d both seen a million times before. His arm was draped around me, his fingers lazily tracing patterns on my shoulder. It was quiet, comfortable—the kind of moment I lived for.

Then, suddenly, the door burst open. Charlie stood there, tears streaming down her face, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

“Charlie?” I bolted upright, sliding out from under Matt’s arm. “What’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer immediately, her eyes wild and red. “Did you know?” she screamed, her voice cracking.

I blinked, panic rising in my chest. “Did I know what?”

Before she could answer, Chris came rushing in behind her, his face a mix of frustration and guilt. “Charlie, stop. Let’s go. We can talk about this later,” he said, reaching out to grab her hand.

“No!” she yelled, jerking away from him. “She deserves to know! Did you know, Y/N?”

“Charlie, what the fuck are you talking about?” My voice was sharp, but I couldn’t help it. My mind was racing, trying to piece together what could possibly have her so upset.

“Get the fuck out,” Matt barked from the bed, sitting up straight now. His jaw was tight, and his eyes were blazing as he glared at Chris and Charlie.

“Matt, stop!” I snapped, turning back to Charlie. “Charlie, tell me what the fuck is going on!”

For a moment, the room was frozen in chaos. Charlie’s sobs filled the silence as Chris stood there, his hand half-reaching for her, while Matt looked ready to jump out of bed and physically remove them both.

“Y/N,” Charlie choked out, her voice barely above a whisper. “I—”

“Charlie, don’t,” Chris interrupted, his tone desperate now.

“I deserve to know!” I yelled again, my voice breaking this time. “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on right now!”

Charlie’s sobs filled the room as I stared at her, trying to make sense of her words. She wiped her face with shaky hands, her breath catching. Then, with a voice full of anger and heartbreak, she screamed:

“They’re moving to LA next week! They’ve been planning this since they hit a million. When they went to LA, that was to buy their house! Not meet with their stupid fucking manager! They lied to us!”

My heart stopped. The words hung in the air like a slap to the face. I froze, not even noticing that my breathing had quickened.

“CHARLIE!” Chris’s voice erupted, louder and angrier than I’d ever heard before. His face was red, his hands clenched into fists. “Stop it! Just fucking stop!”

But I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Matt. He wasn’t saying anything—just staring at me. His face was unreadable, a mask of guilt and frustration.

I turned to Chris, who looked just as guilty, his shoulders slumping as he avoided my gaze. Then, back to Matt.

Matt opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but no words came out. He just stared at me, his jaw clenching as he swallowed hard.

I didn’t yell. I didn’t cry. I just sat there, silent, the weight of Charlie’s words pressing down on my chest. The room felt suffocating, and the two people I trusted most had nothing to say.

I didn’t say a word. My chest felt tight, and my hands shook as I stood up. Without even looking back, I grabbed Charlie’s arm and my keys off the desk. She followed me, still sobbing, and together we bolted for the door.

“Y/N!” Matt’s voice rang out, desperate and panicked as I heard him jump off the bed and chase after us.

I didn’t stop. I didn’t even look over my shoulder. I couldn’t.

“Y/N, wait!” Matt yelled again, his footsteps growing closer.

But then, another voice cut through the chaos.

“Matt, stop!” Chris shouted, grabbing his brother by the arm just as we hit the end of the hall.

“What the hell are you doing, Chris? Let me go!” Matt barked, his voice frantic.

“No. You need to give her a second,” Chris said firmly, his tone unusually calm. “Just give her some space.”

I didn’t turn back to see if Matt listened. I couldn’t. All I could hear was Charlie’s sniffles as we ran out of the building into the freezing night air, my mind spinning so fast I thought I might collapse.

I drove in silence, gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white. Charlie sat beside me, her sobs the only sound in the car. The headlights cut through the darkness as I drove aimlessly for twenty minutes until we reached an empty parking lot. The coldness of the night seeped through the car windows as I put the car in park and stared ahead, the weight of the situation suffocating.

Finally, I broke the silence. “What did Chris say to you?” My voice was barely above a whisper, trembling with restrained emotion.

Charlie sniffled, wiping her face with her sleeve as she tried to calm herself enough to speak. Her voice cracked as she started. “He—he was ending it with me,” she choked out, her tone filled with anger and hurt. “He said they’re leaving next Thursday… to pursue their YouTube career full-time. They already bought a house when they went to LA.”

My heart sank as she continued, her words spilling out in a wave of pain.

“They’ve been planning this for weeks, Y/N. Weeks. And they didn’t say a goddamn thing. Chris told me they’re starting to pack on Monday and that they’re withdrawing from school before they leave. He… he just stood there and told me like it was nothing, like we were nothing!” Her voice broke, and she buried her face in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

I sat there in silence, the weight of her words pressing down on me like a crushing force. My mind raced, but I couldn’t find the words to respond. What was I supposed to say?

My phone buzzed incessantly on the console, Matt and Chris’ name lighting up the screen over and over again. I reached over and silenced it, my chest tightening with every missed call.

Charlie glanced at me through her tear-streaked face. “Did you know? Did you know about any of this?”

I shook my head slowly, my voice barely audible. “No… I didn’t know.”

The tears I had been holding back finally spilled over, and I wiped at my face furiously. The silence between us grew heavier, broken only by our quiet sobs as we sat in the car, two broken hearts lost in the cold, empty night.

After what felt like an eternity of sitting in that dark parking lot, the silence between me and Charlie was deafening, only broken by the occasional sniffle. My phone buzzed again, Matt’s name lighting up the screen like it had been doing nonstop for the past hour. I stared at it, my finger hovering over the screen, hesitating.

Finally, I let out a shaky breath and answered.

“Y/N,” Matt’s voice came through immediately, tense and urgent. “Come back. We need to talk.”

I swallowed hard, my voice quiet but steady. “Okay.” Without waiting for anything else, I ended the call.

I turned to Charlie, her face still red and tear-streaked, but her expression now tinged with exhaustion. “We should go back,” I said softly.

She nodded wordlessly, wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. I started the car, the engine humming to life as we pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to the school. The drive was quiet again, both of us too drained to speak.

The weight of what waited for us hung heavy in the air.

When we pulled back into the school parking lot, I turned off the car and looked over at Charlie. Her face was pale, her jaw clenched.

“Before we go in,” I said, my voice low but firm, “grab a bag. Pack it. We’re going to my house for the next week… until they’re gone.”

Charlie blinked at me, her lips trembling before she gave a small nod. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

We walked inside together, but when we reached the hallway, we split off—Charlie heading to her dorm and me walking straight to mine and Matt’s room. My stomach twisted with every step, dread building in my chest.

When I walked into the room, Matt’s head shot up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked wrecked—like he hadn’t slept in days.

“Y/N,” he said, standing up immediately, his voice desperate. “Please, let me explain.”

I didn’t say a word, walking straight to the closet and grabbing my duffel bag. I tossed it onto the bed and started pulling my clothes out of the drawers, my movements quick and precise.

“Y/N, stop!” he exclaimed, stepping toward me. “Can you just give me five minutes? Please?”

I ignored him, grabbing my toiletries from the bathroom and shoving them into the bag.

“Y/N, don’t do this,” he pleaded, his voice breaking. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how. I was trying to figure out the right time—”

I whipped around to face him, my chest heaving. “The right time? You were going to leave in a week, Matt. A week. When were you planning to tell me? The night before you got on the plane? Or were you just going to ghost me when you got to LA?”

He flinched like I’d slapped him. “I wasn’t going to ghost you. I swear. I—I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well, you failed,” I snapped, my voice trembling with anger. “You didn’t want to hurt me, but you let me sit here for weeks, clueless, while you planned your whole future without me.”

“I wasn’t planning it without you!” he shouted, his own frustration boiling over. “I was trying to figure out how to make it work—how to make us work.”

“Bullshit, Matt!” I yelled back, dropping the bag onto the floor. “If you wanted to make it work, you would’ve talked to me. You would’ve let me in on what was happening. But instead, you made the decision for me.”

He ran his hands through his hair, pacing the room like a caged animal. “I thought I was doing the right thing, okay? I thought—I thought maybe it would be easier for you if we just ended it.”

“Easier for me?” I repeated, my voice filled with disbelief. “You think this is easy for me? Watching the person I thought I knew plan a whole new life without me? You didn’t even give me a choice, Matt. You decided I wasn’t worth it.”

“That’s not true!” he shouted, stopping in his tracks to look at me. “You are worth it. You’re worth everything. That’s why I didn’t want to drag you into this. I didn’t want to hold you back.”

“Hold me back?” I said, my voice cracking. “You’re not holding me back. You’re leaving me behind.”

Silence hung between us, thick and suffocating. I picked up my bag, slinging it over my shoulder.

“I hope LA is everything you want it to be, Matt,” I said quietly, my voice filled with pain. “But don’t pretend this was for me. This was your choice, and now I’m making mine.”

“Y/N, please,” he said, his voice desperate as he stepped in front of the door, blocking my exit. “Don’t go. Don’t leave like this.”

I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. “You already left, Matt. I’m just catching up.”

He reached out like he wanted to touch me, but I took a step back, glaring at him through my tears. “Move,” I said firmly.

For a moment, he looked like he might argue, but then his shoulders slumped, and he stepped aside.

As I walked out of the room, I heard him whisper, “I’m sorry.”

I didn’t look back.

I stormed down the hall, my bag still slung over my shoulder, my blood boiling. I didn’t bother knocking when I got to Chris’s door—I just shoved it open. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, scrolling through his phone, but when he saw me, his eyes widened.

“Y/N?” he started, standing up.

I didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. “How could you?” I shouted, slamming the door behind me. “How could you do this to Charlie? To me?”

Chris blinked, caught off guard. “Y/N, I—”

“No,” I cut him off, my voice trembling with anger. “You don’t get to explain. Do you even understand what you’ve done? You lied to me. You broke her heart. And for what? To chase some dream in LA? Was it worth it, Chris? Was it worth hurting everyone who actually gave a fuck about you?”

“Y/N, calm down,” he said, holding up his hands like he was trying to defuse a bomb.

“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down,” I snapped, stepping closer to him. “You knew what this would do to her. To us. And you still did it. You didn’t even have the decency to tell me yourself. You let Charlie find out and blow up her entire world because you’re too much of a coward to be honest.”

Chris’s jaw tightened, and he looked away. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” he muttered.

“Spare me the excuses,” I spat. “You didn’t want to hurt us? Well, guess what? You did. You and Matt both. You’ve been lying to our faces for God knows how long. Pretending everything was fine when you knew you were leaving. And then you just decide to break her heart and expect what? That we’d all just be okay with it?”

“Y/N, it’s not that simple,” he said, his voice rising. “We didn’t want to hurt you guys, but this is our chance. Do you get that? This is everything we’ve worked for.”

“And what about Charlie?” I demanded. “What about me? Do we not matter? Were we just placeholders for when something better came along?”

Chris’s face twisted with guilt. “It’s not like that,” he said quietly.

“Then what is it like, Chris?” I shouted. “Explain it to me, because all I see are two selfish assholes who didn’t care enough about the people who loved them to be honest.”

He looked at me, his eyes filled with frustration and pain. “I care, Y/N. We care. But we can’t stay here forever. This is bigger than us. Bigger than you or Charlie.”

I shook my head, laughing bitterly. “You don’t get it, do you? It’s not about you leaving. It’s about how you did it. The lies. The secrets. The way you’ve treated the people who have been there for you every step of the way. You burned every bridge on your way out, Chris. And for what?”

Chris didn’t have an answer. He just stood there, his shoulders slumped, looking like he didn’t know what to say.

I turned toward the door, my chest heaving with emotion. “I hope LA is worth it,” I said coldly. “Because you’ve destroyed everything else.”

As I walked out, I heard him call my name, but I didn’t stop. I didn’t look back. I was done.

Charlie and I sat silently in the car for most of the two-hour drive home. The weight of everything that had just happened hung heavy between us, but neither of us had the energy to unpack it yet. Every now and then, I’d glance over at her. She was staring out the window, tears still streaming silently down her face. I wanted to say something—anything—but I knew she just needed space right now.

When we finally pulled into my driveway, I felt a small wave of relief. At least we wouldn’t have to deal with anyone else for a while. My dad was on a business trip, so the house was completely empty. No questions, no interruptions, just us.

We carried our bags upstairs to my room without a word. Once inside, I dropped my stuff near the closet and turned to Charlie. She sat down on the edge of my bed, her hands gripping the edge of the mattress like it was the only thing holding her together.

“Do you want water or anything?” I asked softly, breaking the silence.

She shook her head. “No, I’m fine.” Her voice was hoarse, barely audible.

I nodded and sat down beside her. For a few minutes, we just sat there in silence, the only sound was the faint hum of the heater.

Then, I reached for my phone, my hands trembling slightly as I opened Nick’s contact. My thumb hovered over the keyboard for a moment before I typed out two words.

“Fuck you.”

I stared at the message for a second before pressing send. There was no hesitation, no regret. I didn’t care if he responded or not. I just needed to let it out.

I showed the text to Charlie, and she let out a bitter laugh. “Good,” she muttered.

“Block them,” I said firmly, locking eyes with her.

She didn’t argue. She pulled out her phone, and together, we scrolled through our contacts, blocking Matt, Chris, and Nick. It felt final, like shutting a door we’d never open again.

When we were done, I tossed my phone onto the nightstand and leaned back against the headboard. “They don’t deserve us,” I said, my voice hard.

Charlie nodded, tears welling in her eyes again. “No, they don’t.”

We both knew it would take time to heal, but for now, all we had was each other—and that was enough.

The week passed in a blur of emptiness. Charlie and I leaned on each other, both trying to ignore the ache in our chests. But as the days ticked by, the reality of what had happened settled in. Now, it was time to go back to school, and the thought of returning to that room without Matt made me feel like I couldn’t breathe.

The drive was quiet, the car filled only with the sound of the playlist Charlie had put on. When we pulled into the school parking lot, I forced myself to grab my bag, plastering on a brave face for Charlie’s sake.

“Text me if you need anything,” she said, hugging me tightly before heading toward her own dorm.

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “You too.”

As I walked into my dorm room, the silence was deafening. Everything felt wrong. His side of the room was stripped bare—no posters, no clothes, nothing. It was like he had never been there. My chest tightened as I stepped further inside, scanning the space. That’s when I saw it.

A folded piece of paper lay on Matt’s bed, my name written on the front in his handwriting. My hands shook as I reached for it, and for a moment, I couldn’t bring myself to open it. But I had to know.

I unfolded the note, and his words stared back at me, hitting me like a tidal wave:

Y/N,

I don’t even know where to start. How do I put everything I feel into words when none of this feels real?

Leaving you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. You are my home, my comfort, my safe place. But I’m not good for you—not the way I wish I could be. You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart, their whole life, and I can’t do that while I’m chasing this dream.

I know you’re angry. I know you’re hurt. And I hate myself for being the one who caused it. But please believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you. I thought maybe I could figure out a way for us to make it work, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how selfish that would be. You deserve someone who is all in, not someone who’s split between you and everything else.

I hope you know how much you mean to me. You’re not just the girl I love—you’re my best friend, my anchor. I don’t know how I’m going to do this without you, but I know you’ll be okay. You’re strong, stronger than I’ve ever been, and you’ll keep moving forward even when it feels impossible.

Please don’t think I didn’t love you enough. I loved you too much to stay and hold you back.

You're my best friend, I’ll love you forever.

-Matt

Tears blurred my vision, and I clutched the letter to my chest as I sank onto my bed. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again.

I wanted to scream, to rip the note apart, to yell at him for leaving me like this. But at the same time, I understood. It didn’t make it hurt any less, but I understood.

“You're my best friend, I’ll love you forever.”

The words echoed in my head, over and over, as I curled up on my bed, clutching the letter like it was the only piece of him I had left. And in reality, it was.

Tag -

@namelesssav @christmastreecake @mattsturnii @sturnrc @larnieboox88 @izzylovesmatt @tbfaptbfae @2muchofaslvt @sturnioloshottiekay @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @realuvrrr @sophia-77n @christophersstar @mattscore @whoisthisdiva1

editor- @ch0llies

[charliemwrites]

Making this a separate post because the idea has evolved a bit:

(Was talking about this in the discord if it looks familiar)

I’m thinking less of a 1 to 1 Greek god au. I’m thinking it’s more of a theme to their dynamic and in parts of their story.

Johnny is a reincarnation of some ancient, nameless (or many-named) god, associated with dark forces. He’s not evil incarnate. But he is something of a representation of “darker” human nature. Anger, bloodlust, impatience, selfishness.

Persephone!reader, by comparison, is sort of a personification of gentler human nature. Patience, mercy, altruism, gentleness. She is less “awakened” so to speak because her mother has been a major limiting factor in her life. Like, helicopter parent to the extreme.

Persephone!reader goes to her aunt Laswell as a sort of compromise. See the world, the real world, in a controlled sort of way with her aunt watching carefully over her shoulder.

Problem is, no one is expecting the dreams to start as soon as she gets to base. Dreams of a man that scares her as much as tempts her, and encouraging the worst and most selfish of her impulses. She doesn’t tell anyone - why would she? They’re just dreams.

Captain MacTavish scares intimidates her, even though she insists that he doesn’t, looking him in the eye with her chin tilted up defiantly. When he’s on base he finds all sorts of ways to cross her path, sometimes teasing her into an indignant fluster, other times telling her off for “distracting recruits”. Always, always has an eye on her, even if it’s not his own.

Once things come to a head (I haven’t figured out how yet) Persephone!reader insists it isn’t fair. And just because they’ve been something in the past doesn’t mean they have to now.

Johnny, of course, is utterly amused. She’s barely got any idea what’s going on, but sure, she’s going to deny forces beyond life and death.

They strike a deal. When he’s away (for months at a time… a season’s length, even) she can run and hide and do whatever she wants to “escape” him. If he cant find her within a week of coming back, then he’ll leave her be and she’s “free”.

(She scoffs that he’s going to cheat, using her aunt and all of her connections but he just scoffs. As if Laswell would help him over her own niece. And as if he needs the help.)

He always finds her within a day of coming back from a mission. No matter where she is or what her name is. No matter how well she covers her tracks (even with Laswell’s help). He comes to her with gifts.

At first it would be sweet if not for the smirk on his face and the realization that she’s “lost” again. He brings flowers of all kinds, and green plants in little pots. Then it’s a new sweater, a nice coat, a piece of jewelry.

And then… and then they get worse. A bullet is the first sign. It’s just a whole bullet, her name engraved in its side. Then it’s a casing, the bullet clearly having been shot. He tells her it went right between someone’s eyes. The “gifts” become patches from enemy jackets, pretty stones splattered with dried blood, a human tooth.

It’s awful. She hates it. She can’t ever make herself say it (or believe it). And when he’s gone, she physically can’t make herself throw them away. Shes tried and tried, and the last time she put a real effort into it, she ended up on the floor having a panic attack, sobbing and calling Johnny.

(He purrs at her through the phone, gunfire background noise while he soothes her back inside. His voice keeps her company while she makes a tea, readies a bath. Tuts at her to call him again when she’s tucking into bed. She refuses to acknowledge that she does.)

Similarly, she finds herself getting or making things for him. For his inevitable return. Cigars and his favorite whiskey. Making patches for his uniform. A leather bracelet with her initials on a silver charm. A ring with an inlay the color of her eyes. Doesn’t even realize what she’s doing until she’s home or the thing is done. She’ll hide them away for months with no plans of giving them to Johnny. He inevitable finds them within his first week home anyway.

(There’s the one time she bakes for him, humming as she measures and mixes ingredients. Lets him steal tastes from the bowl and lick flour off her cheek. Only realizes what she’s done in a domestic haze when he’s eaten the sweet treat and thanked her for it.)

And when he’s home…

The deal is that when he’s home, he gets to treat her like his. Climbs into her bed, grumbling about pillows being a poor substitute for him. Steps into her shower midway through, ducking his head so she can shampoo and condition his hair with her gentle hands. Dresses her in his clothes, in his dog tags. Always has a hand on her, even in her (their) home.

And he delights in yanking her into his lap - especially in public. When his team comes to visit (and they always do) he lounges with her on his thigh. He’s also kind of a dick. Like he’s courteous to servers (mainly female ones because chances are they won’t flirt with his girl) but pretty much any stranger talking to him or his Persephone is met with smarmy asshole behavior.

It’s to the point that she just fusses at him to let her talk to people. And he’s happy to do so, amused by the way she charms people. He only intervenes when someone is rude or a little too friendly with her. She’s had to break up bar fights before because god knows his men won’t try to stop their captain.

She is literally the only being in all of history that can tell him no and stop and he’ll listen regardless of the situation. She has to actively remind herself that it’s not healthy and she should not be a little flattered about it. And she’s not. (She is.)

[lesbiansforboromir]

Here's a more compact review of the War of the Rohirrim film for anyone interested! SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Positives;

The backgrounds were all very beautifully painted and the lighting really elevated the character design and smoothed over the janky animation. Where other aspects of the film fall off, often the background artistry and lighting over all of it still manages to convey a very dramatic and immersive moment to the viewer. It's probably the best part of the film.

The part where Helm's ice-ghost phase is teased was really cool and atmospheric and I got a little thrill of what I'd kind of always been wanting from this film.

Frealaf was pretty lovely (what little we got of him) and I appreciated that his darker skin tone was implicitely associated with his Gondorian heritage. I THINK I appreciate the idea that Frealaf's father was Gondorian, though I wish it had been better utilised.

I also really liked the moment where Helm is about to fight Freca and he gives his crown, signet ring and mantle over to Frealaf in this like... symbolic giving up of his Kingship in this moment where his actions are about to make him unworthy of it.

I appreciated Olwyn existing as an older female character in a purely action based roll.

Helm's voice actor and design were pretty cool, I came around to enjoying how much effort they put into making him extremely imposing.

Hama being a twink who was born to be a bard but forced to be a heroic second prince was a nice touch.

General Targg of Dunland might have been my favourite character, inspite of the fact that I am really curious to know where this organised military of Dunland is for him to reach the rank of 'General' in.

Negatives;

Gurl the racism. See here for more details.

The overall narrative seems to me direly lacking in like... basis. I am lead to believe Hera's journey is about her reclaiming her right to choose her own life for herself. But she is never actually pressured into any choice, nor does it appear that her father ever restricted her freedom in any way. So I don't really see where her choices were actually removed to such a degree. If her desire is to see her choices respected by the men in her life, well that never happens for either Helm nor Wulf, who force her to let them die or to kill them, respectively. It feels like in their rush to censor any negative aspects of Helm they kind of removed the reason Hera is frustrated in the first place, he cant be TOO much of a misogynist etc etc.

This is twisted up within 'gurl the racism' but Wulf's manner and presentation make me FEEL like he is a villain we are supposed to mildly feel for? We see him as a child, we see him struggle with what he's doing, we see his clear desperation and despair and hear him talk about loneliness and suffering... but at the end of the day in the way that it is presented Wulf is fundamentally foul and deluding himself and all his problems appear to be of his own making. In general it is extremely uncomfortable for the 'obsessive stalker' villain to also every now and then say 'I am devastated because of how my dunlending blood has been prejudiced against all my life by your family and the wider rohir society' like... by only him mentioning it but it never being actually acknowledged by anyone else it just comes across so shallow and unsettling.

This is a review from my book-biased perspective so understand it within that lense but still gurl... the lore. What the hell do you mean the eagles speak a language only a wizard can understand? No they can just speak! What do you mean there is A watcher in the water in some undisclosed lake in Rohan somewhere? There is one Watcher and it's name is very specific to the doomed Moria expedition! At least give this new squid fellow a rohir name. Speaking of!!

IS IT SO HARD TO NAME ROHIR CHARACTERS IN..... ROHIRRIC?? OLD ENGLISH IS RIGHT THERE... HERA HAS NO MEANING... THERE ARE SO MANY COOL HISTORICAL ANGLO SAXON PRINCESSES YOU COULD CHOOSE FROM...

Included in the 'gurl, the lore' segment but in need of it's own post so I will try to be brief; (Theoden voice) where was Gondor... when a herd of Mumakil were marched by Haradrim mercenaries across the Anduin, up through the Pelennor, across Calenadhon and over Rohan's southern border... did they sneak by... were they stealth Mumakil, did they have elven cloaks too.

But also Where Was Gondor just in general. Like to the detriment of the actual narrative, opening up plot holes that didn't even need to be there, the fact that Gondor is ALSO supposed to be at war right now is completely ignored and discarded.

THE BATTLE OF EDORAS... TF ARE YOU ALL DOING! Like I know it is kind of hypocritical of me to request sensible war tactics when we're adapting Tolkien, he did not give a good example, but like... where were the horse archers, why are you charging down an infantry-only army, why even be on a horse if you aren't going to use greater mobility to your advantage, this isn't a siege, this is YOUR territory this is an open field!! Come on! AND ANOTHER THING, did we really have to make the victory of the Dunlendings over Edoras so disconnected from their own effort? Like betrayal is fine, but this was also a well supplied and competant force, and that was a major part of their victory. These were matched combatants! Just kind of another way in which the dunlendings were robbed of any cohesive motive, narrative or skill.

To my admittedly untrained eye... the animation sucks? Like it's clunky and janky and you can see the frames transitioning between each other, the movements often feel awkward and a lot of the drawings are just bad! The Eagles are SO stiff, as are the horses which seems like a cardinal sin in the Horse Lord Film. And then I couple that with the multiple completely unnecessary spinning camera shots Hera gets which are annoying, superfluous and a bizarre thing to spend time on when the rest of the film needs so much more care and attention. In general the GULF of difference between how beautiful the backgrounds are vs how bland the character art is is kind of jarring.

Hera's design.... I hate it. Look I know it's anime but DID Hera have to have thigh high boots... did she really... Why is she so pale if she's supposedly riding sleeveless across the vast countryside everyday? Can a single supposedly feminist film about a 'wild' female protagonist let that woman be like... dirty, or not so agonisingly thin, or give her messy or god forbid short hair. At one point when she is grabbed by a troll and hung in the air they linger uncomfortably long on her ass which her costume design is specifically designed to allow for maximum viewing detail.

The designs of the Dunlendings, Haradrim and especially the Mumakil are all so grim. Like I liked Freca's design to a degree, it was more potent with symbolism and patterning and such, but the rest of it is just SO FUCKIN- well they're ugly! and therefore evil! Do you get it? The ugly grey animalistic people are evil! The Mumakil have literal red snake eyes just so you know they're 'evil animals'. I can't take it anymore, at one point the guy who Eomer throws a spear at in the trilogy just... turns up, like it's literally just him down to the facepaint. And speaking of...

SHUT UP ABOUT THE PJ TRILOGY, SHUT UP AB- besties this film's intro plays alongside the ring theme... THE RING MUSICAL THEME!!!!?? Lines from the films are reused so often and so WILDLY outside of their actual context and meaning that it makes me flinch.

There is a plump little fellow called Leif who is the royal Page I think and everytime someone called Freca fat in such a vitriolic way I was like wow... I mean Leif is right there guys!

Overall a 4/10 from me, it is a watcheable but shallow film that I suspect was more of a cynical attempt by Warner Bros to keep their death grip on the rights to the books, since I think they would have expired if they didn't do something with them soon.

[pachimation]

redrawing my very first chiscara comic/art i ever did for chscr day!!

old comic under the cut!!

lol a bunch of sappy semi serious stuff below bc i cant help but be a bit genuine about this ship today :’3

i cant possibly put into words how important this silly little ship and its community mean to me haha,,,, this comic was made in 2021 but i didnt really get serious about chscr until late 2022 after a bunch of pretty bad interpersonal stuff happened and i needed an outlet,, COINCIDENTALLY a certain someone was announced to be playable around then and i was already thought chscr was Pretty Neat™️ so i ended up diving headfirst into the ship. it also gave me a good excuse to work on more comics too!! i’d done a pretty big zhongven comic earlier that year in the summer, but in terms of lore there was only so much i could have worked with at the moment.

childe and scaramouche have that perfect combination of silliness and angst and violence that could be explored or expanded in so many ways and i love love love seeing other people’s interpretations of their dynamic and relationship. they’re so complex,,,,they’re narrative foils,,,they’re narrative parallels,,,they’re trans allegories,,,they’re flies in the spiderweb of the games lore,,,they’re my stupid little meow meows,,, they’re just two losers i want to see make out,,,

in a nutshell, they’re everything to me. well, i hope i get that kind of sentiment across in my own comics,,,,

and i cant get started on all the people ive met through chiscara or the way that having something i can call “my thing”, as in, the thing that i like and that i will spend a lot of time and effort (and money, but lets not talk about that) to surround myself with because it makes me smile. its stupid to say, but being a nerd about these two stupid guys who have never had a single canon onscreen interaction in some random game has made me a much happier and confident person that i could have ever imagined back in my freshman year of college,,, when i say i dont know who i’d be if i hadnt gotten into chiscara, i really do mean it lol

i’m actually surprised i’m making it to over a full year of regular-ishly making art, especially for the same game and ship! thats never happened before and my art has improved so much over this past year!! more than anything else, i’m happy! i get to be excited talking about these characters with my friends and i love to see art of them pop up on the tl. i make stickers of them and decorate my phonecase with them and have little figures of them in my room that i look at when im up late at night working on schoolwork. sometimes just the thought of finishing a comic or daydreaming about a scenario or seeing what my mutuals are up to are some of the few things getting me through a tough day.

,,,,so believe me when i say, to both childe and scara and to everyone else as obsessed with these pathic losers as i am, thank you! i’m having a lot of fun!!!

(also i just found out tumblrs copy/paste doesnt work on my ipad??? idk if this ends up legible i may or may not have deleted smth by accident and im not in a mood to proofread haha)

[thegoldencontracts]

Too Late!

You and Azul are texting each other one day when he accidentally sends you some more honest texts.

Note/Warnings: Azul/Reader, fluff with a smidgen of angst (specifically Azul insecurities, he gets comforted tho)

You loved Azul. A lot. You'd been dating him for quite a while now, after all. But you couldn't deny that it felt like he was a bit- formal with you, to say the least. Sometimes, it felt like he was playing the role of a perfect boyfriend in a Romance Novel's screen adaptation. How did he really feel? Was he happy to be somewhere, or was he just playing along so that the other students in his dorm could see how attractive and understanding he was while they seethed in envy at the fact that they were single and he wasn't?

Which was why when Azul slipped up one day when you were texting, you were very, very happy about it.

It was a boring evening, like always. You were texting Azul, complaining about your homework while lounging in your bed like always. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Zuzuuu <3: You know, if you'd like, I'd be happy to assist with your homework. It'll even be on the house, just for you.

Me: cant believe im dating a capitalist mf /lh

Me: really tho, tysmmm for helping <3 I don't deserve u bbg...

And then, something completely out of the ordinary happened.

Zuzuuu <3: how could you say that you're literally so perfect? I love you so much I keep doodling you bc you're so. Pretty. I simp so hard for you plz never say that again <3

At first, you wondered if Floyd wrote the text as a joke. It was pretty in character for him, after all. But that didn't make sense. This wasn't Floyd's way of texting, nor did it even attempt to imitate Azul's. When Floyd was in the mood to prank someone, he put in the effort to make it good.

Whatever. You took a screenshot of the message so you could treasure it forever. And lucky you, because right after you did, the message was deleted.

Zuzuuu <3: Please don't say such things about yourself, even for comedic purposes.

He was not being slick with that. You sent a text in response, giggling all the while.

Zuzuuu <3: Regardless, would you like to come over later today?

Me: Real slick hehe... Plz show me ur doodles of me they probably look so good bc you're good at art just like everything else somehow

After a while, Azul replied.

Zuzuuu <3: I don't know what you're referring to. Regardless, would you like to come over?

As much as you wanted to press, you decided not to. Too much pressing would just make Azul clam up more. You'd just have to get him in person, where it'd be harder for him to run away when you showed him the screenshot.

Me: Sureee! Heading over right now

And so, you set out for Octavinelle, evidence in hand. You were going to make him admit he sent that text.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time you got to Azul's room, you had everything planned out. He wasn't usually so candid with you, and he was clearly ashamed of it when he was. You were going to figure out why.

You knocked on the door, and Azul opened it, letting you in.

"Come in," he said, tone even more formal than usual, by some miracle.

"Thanks," you said, taking a seat.

"So, about that text-"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Azul said, quick to cut you off.

"So quick to interrupt, Azul!" You said with a mock-pout, before grinning as you pulled up the screenshot on your phone. "But I think you do."

First, Azul's mouth hung open in shock. Then, his whole face turned red, lip quivering as a high-pitched whine left his mouth. Then, he moved to snatch the phone from your hands.

You narrowly dodged, and you couldn't resist sticking out your tongue at him.

"Too slow!" You laughed as he tried to grab the phone from you again, only to fail even more without the element of surprise on his side, because for all of Azul's many strengths, speed wasn't one of them.

"Delete that at once!" He shrieked, voice cracking in the middle.

He kept trying to grab it for a while, before finally giving up.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled, pouting like a kid. Cute. "You win. Are you satisfied now?"

"Very," you said, "because I get to see you. Your actual thoughts. Not just the ultra-filtered version."

Azul scoffed at that, seemingly in disbelief, though you saw the way he stifled a smile.

"Don't flatter me," he said. "My 'true thoughts' are not something you'd want to see in the slightest. Merely a more pathetic, messy version of what I already tell you."

"And that's precisely why I want to hear it," she said. "You sound so perfect all the time that I wonder whether you're really being honest with me, you know. It's just so refreshing to see you be gushy and candid about things. And pretty cute."

"How odd," he said, before turning to you with a face more genuine. "Thank you. For what little it's worth, I'll try to be a tad more honest with you. I can't promise anything, though."

You smiled.

"That's all I ask."

And really, truly, that was enough.

Bonus:

"So, how'd you learn so much internet lingo? Never took you for that kinda guy."

"I'm in the board games club with Idia Shroud. What did you expect?"