#i cant articulate it well enough
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darthkote · 3 months ago
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i love all the batch for various reasons but crosshair is the one i can't think about for very long. not only did he view the rest of the batch's decision to leave the Empire as a personal betrayal, but he lost so much time with them. yk that bit where he and omega are meditating on pabu and she says smth along the lines of, "you missed a lot." yeah. shit had me sobbing for a good thirty minutes. cos he comes back and not only does he get to see the squad being brothers to omega, but.. he never gets to see tech with her. he notices that tech is missing in everything he does. sleeping, eating, spitting out one of his sly little comments and not having a pair of eyes to instantly dart to for validation. none of it is the same, and he never had the chance to make amends for his terrible decision. he never talks about it - doesn't even like to think about it. at times it can be unbearable because there's nowhere to run - just the memory of his brother's face and voice looping in his mind. nothing can make it go away.
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basilpaste · 10 months ago
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i have a personal hc i never really share where mira is some manner of chronically ill. it fuels how she feels incapable of her task, how she doesnt feel like euphrasie made the right choice by blessing her. shes not strong enough, shes not good enough, how could someone like her save the world?
being chronically ill is being forced to be stagnant. and even if she loves who she is without changing, she still feels unworthy.
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cloudbends · 1 month ago
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OH I AM INCONSOLABLE. DEVASTATED.
#vi rambling#skip and loafer#i honestly cant even properly articulate myself right now im just. i feel for him so terribly.#the depiction of his relationship with his mom well. it got to me. badly. terribly.#standing in front of that door as a child i literally couldnt think of anything but denji and the csm door.#and how he literally had all of this thrust on him and the fact that it was taken away from him by the very source of all this stress#without her knowledge. which just excabrated it And i just. no wonder he doesnt have any sense of self esteem or self perception#of course he feels like hes acting constantly without recognizing his inherent kindness.#hes literally been taught nothing he does is good enough unless hes acting. of course hed shield behind that.#he literally kept being criticized and berated for things beyond his control. i just.#I'm so scared for next chapter? i think we'll actually see what happened with that producer and i dont think im resdy in the slightest#just that terrible discreoancy between his thoughts but the fact he cant help but feel terribly for his mom. hes such a good kid but so#terribly conditioned into overcompensating IT HIT ME TOO FUCKING HARD.#well... stellar panels and expressions. literally heartbreaking.#love how kanechika clocked his yearning immediately and started making fun in the most kanechika way possible#the whole frankenstein allegory i literally cant even unpack in tags its just. really so masterfully done.#basically. terribly unwell . chapter of all time i fear#i think what really broke me is seeing him actually break down. fully.#he keeps himself on such a tight leash all the time and repressed his thoughts and feelings constantly#that seeing all the bottled up anguish and burdens and baggage and trauma flood out made me. very unwell.#i hope as the little prompt at the end said... unraveling the past can only take us forward... haha
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chickencowcow · 8 months ago
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I need to be. Lobotomized
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revindicatedbyhistory · 2 years ago
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the thing is that yes while identities don´t have some innate meaning to them if these identities exist it´s for a reason, to say something
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luxpenumbra · 1 year ago
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get to know you gameeee tag 9 ppl + answer qs
thank u @hawkeyequeerce this has been incubating in my notes app so she is quite long
last song listened to: at the time I started writing this: sincerity is scary by the 1975 (I'd been listening to albums all the way thru today, so I started w I like when you sleep and I was half thru brief inquiry)
right now: run to the water by +live+ off of the distance to here
currently reading: i'm wrapping up a reread of the lodestar of ys by amy rae durreson, it's a pretty short read and one of my recent finds! I'm super in love with how she describes the world and builds atmosphere. she makes me want to tear pieces off of a loaf of bread and be able to eat cheese and be somewhere & sometime where I can hear birds + feel a spring thaw, and somehow she manages to do this during a wartime story and I would not have it any other way.
I'm thinking about jumping back into murderbot diaries after this and/or tamora pierce's beka cooper trilogy. it's reread season here babyyy
currently watching: actively? nothing. attention span? never heard of her. 
passively (ie i'll get back to them soon?eventually): x-files, teen wolf, pjo show, httyd race to the edge (doing it for my siblings in penance for every time I swear in front of them because if I don't want to hear babies say fuck I have to watch my language in return which is fair), dr who, winx club. I wanna watch doctor slump bc it has park shin hye AND park hyung sik and they were academic rivals (oh my god they were academic rivals) but I haven't gotten to it yet
currently obsessed with: hibike euphonium (getting a new season!! kyoani it's been 7 years and i'm still ur bitch), these babes [see stentor below thx journeytothemicrocosmos], old enamelled jewelry, the part in this tornado loves you where neko case says "my love / i'm an owl on the sill in the evening / but morning finds you / still warm and breathing"
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tagging not quite 9 ppl @squimbz @the-dot @gaylord-nelson @emilyofmindelan some of whom I know but that's ok! + anyone else who wants to
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imaginethathaikyuu · 2 years ago
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I fully support the ace Tsukki agenda as an asexual myself. I also support the ace Kenma agenda as well. and as the anon who sent the msby boys, I knew it would be problematic, but I wanted to know!
lets goooo i am so glad u agree. i feel like asexual kenma is a rlly popular headcanon but i want to see MORE!!!!! they are all ace imo (except when im writing smut) (but any other time they are sex repulsed)
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imaginealpha · 6 months ago
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i ought to start posting more tbh. i miss posting the randomest shit i could with no explanation. maybe tumblr is the place i finally do it
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annakarenina · 8 months ago
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i still keep thinking about that line from the adjustment bureau that went like she’s enough for u. if u have her u wont need to fill the void inside u with applause and winning. like?????? that’s some true loverboy shit
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cloudbends · 2 months ago
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Apparently there aren't many things I hate more than the average gacha fan. Or in other words can we put the word yapper on the highest shelf possible.
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lesflaya · 2 years ago
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The better drawing feels when I’m drawing lately the worse the outcome
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teaboot · 2 months ago
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Growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence?
My earliest memory of what I would call self-awareness occurred spontaneously in the middle of my fourth birthday party, where I suddenly became alert to my existence as a separate entity surrounded by other conscious beings.
This presented to me as not dissimilar to simply being brushed along the flow of a river- experiencing life as a serious of flashbang moments and instants and sensations, like meditating to music until the individual notes break into sounds that follow no rhythm and are only noise- no past or future, only now- and then suddenly finding yourself holding a paddle in the belly of a boat with no idea what to do next.
I remember running to the body that felt safest, who I did not recognize as anything else, and asking it who all the strangers around us were. The person that I learned was my mother told me they were my aunties and uncles, and I was being silly because I KNEW them, and why was I so shy all of a sudden?
Learning to articulate myself after that instant, I remember, was immensely frustrating. Learning your first language, as I remember it, is wuite a bit like how Ive been told recovering from brain damage feels like.
YOU know what you mean. YOU know what you're saying. But there are holes where you reach for something you know MUST be there and find nothing, and must find a way to communicate using only what you have at hand. Except there are always faces looking at you, talking down to you, asking you to do tricks for them to prove you really are a real human person.
I loved art, and I'm very good at it, but GETTING good at it was the worst. I'm told I started with scribbles at six months or so, before I could walk, and at three and four I remember being immensely frustrated that I could see in my head exactly what I wanted to produce, and I didn't know how to PRODUCE it.
And simple shit, like drawing shapes and circles, developing fine motor skills. You FULLY UNDERSTAND THE ASSIGNMENT, but your hands are soft and wobbly and don't cooperate. Getting your mouth and body to obey your directions is hellish, especially when all the appliances and furniture and installations around you are built for someone easily triple your size.
Chairs are hard to sit in when you're small and cant touch the ground. Your legs dangle and you cant scoot closer to the table, and the backrest is so far back you cant use it for support, and the table comes up past your chest so your chin is amost in your plate and your dumb clumsy hands cant hold a big spoon or fork in a way that feels natural or elegant so you end up smearing shit EVERYWHERE and getting yapped at for having your elbows on the counter.
Reading people was interesting. Most people are condescending and plastic when you're small, and you can tell when they're being saccharine and fake, but you're told the polite thing is to believe what they say and be polite back. I used to try using big sentences on purpose just to het them to leave me alone. "What a pretty girl! Can you say Hello?" was the most common ask I can recall. Id answer with the floweriest thing I could think of, usually, "I'm very well, thank you for asking, how are you?", because people only ask you interesting questions after you do well enough on their tests to prove you're people.
Being small was very tiring, and very frustrating, and becoming aware of myself in my own head probably made everything a lot worse overall.
No regrets, though. From what I can recall, life is far more enjoyable when you're aware of it occurring. Time can't slow down until you know it's there, I think
Being a baby full of instincts felt like living as a live grenade. Being a child was far harder, but more Full. More Human. A LOT more like adulthood than infancy, and I was very determined to remember that.
If any of that makes sense
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aster-go-brrr · 2 years ago
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SHINJI IS A PERFECT NAME FOR THE WANDERER IN SO MANY WAYS I CANT QUITE ARTICULATE
THERES FUNNY EVANGELION HAHA, YEAH. AND THEN THERES THE OBVIOUS CONNECTION TO "BELIEF" THAT THE CHARACTER'S NAME IN EVANGELION IS SUPPOSED TO REFERENCE
BUT THERE'S ALSO THE FACT THAT "SHIN" CAN BE WRITTEN THIS WAY IN KANJI: "新" MEANING NEW. THIS IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND RIGHT NOW
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transfemme-shelterdog · 2 months ago
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I genuinely thought my wife would remain the only trans woman i have ever met who dont think trans men are being insufferable brats when we attempt to talk about how we're treated for being the "dirty icky yucky oppressor" gender by other queer people and seen as a wannabe half-breed by cis people. im really, indescribably happy i've met another one. I cant thank you enough for talking about trans men and our struggles and not treating us all like some horrible insane collective of crybabies. thank you so much. thank you so so so fucking much. i know you get dozens of these but i am typing this through tears in my eyes. Thank you.
I want to add: I'm black. I cant articulate it well, but watching (mostly) white women parade around how much they're entitled to hate hate hate queer men and how we could never ever ever be socially ostracized/oppressed for our identities makes me scared when i know about who Emmett Till was. That mentality still exists within cis white women and it makes me TERRIFIED to interact with them. White women do have a sort of social power over black men and it is fucking terrifying to be exposed to IRL. Seeing white trans women latch onto that exact same power and ferociously defend their right to do so puts a level of fear and hurt in me that i also cant describe very well. I hope that makes sense, because i have experienced this dynamic with white women personally.
Hey man, glad you reached out to me, and thank you for sharing your experiences with me. As a trans white woman, I'm inclined to agree that it's mainly white women/transfems who are pulling this shit. It's really concerning seeing not only my fellow queer women, but also white people completely ignoring the oppression that trans men (especially POC) face globally. Like, in the US there's the upcoming administration that's gonna ban birth control, the loss of abortion rights already, and the bathroom/sports bills that affect all trans people, not to mention corrective rape in the Southern states. Then in other countries there's FGM and more corrective rape.
We should be working together, not pushing each other down to see who has it "worse", because we all face oppression in different ways.
I can only hope that we come together at some point, else we are truly fucked.
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eustasskidagenda · 1 year ago
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omg hi hi! i adore your writing so much :3! if its alright with you, could i get headcanons for how crocodile, law, kid, and ace would be with an autistic s/o who loves to infodump, but is nervous to do so. theres always this odd bit of shame that accompanies infodumping for me because i get so excited i cant properly articulate myself *lays down* its just a mess of stimming, stuttering, and laughing at my own jokes. i feel embarrassed after, even if its totally an illogical response. im unsure if you write for autistic y/n so feel free to ignore this if you dont. thank you so much <33
☆Crocodile, Law, Kid & Ace with an autistic s/o who loves to info dump 
Hello, dear anon! I'm not used to write autistic y/n, because I don't know enough about this and I wouldn't like to be harmful. However, the situation you're describing is something close to ADHD, which I know well. So I've made some additional researches to be sure and come up with something, I hope you will like it. Thank you for your request, it was a sweet one ♡
CW : g/n reader, slight curses for Kid, fluff 
WC : Around 1,500 words
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Crocodile 
Crocodile doesn't talk much, he's always serious and quiet. It's just that he's often thinking about his business and plans. But he's a good observer and would immediately notice if you want to say something but are too nervous to do it. He knows you perfectly, so he would recognize the way you're fidgeting.
He's a man with good manners, so his first reflex would be to lock the door and make sure no one can enter and destabilize you. When it's done, he will point his chair towards you.
"Sit. I'm listening, y/n." 
Actually, he likes hearing you speak during hours. He knows it's a way to express your love and feelings. He's flattered that you want to share your world with him. Go ahead and speak, he will listen. Even if he's just nodding or commenting short sentences in response, he has a good memory and will remember everything you said to him. 
If you're talking too fast and start to get really flustered, he will let you know that you're speaking too fast, like 'y/n, what did you just say?' 
Your hyper-focus and info-dumping are appreciated by Crocodile because he enjoys learning new things and you're a source of knowledge. Maybe he's impassive and struggles to express his feelings, but sometimes you will hear him talk about what he learned with you, so clearly he listened to every single word. 
"Don't be ashamed, it was interesting. Can we talk more about this specific point?" 
If you say something that he is really curious about, he has no shame asking for more. It's a way for him to express his genuine care for you. For him, it's a way to prove to you that even though he's always quiet, he cares.
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Law
Law is similar to Crocodile in his lack of emotional expression and limited speech. He is always busy, struggling with his parasitic thoughts and taking care of his patients. Finding some private time with you is a challenge for him. 
If you run into Law with excitement about your passion or new hyper-focus, he may feel embarrassed because it's not the perfect time for him. Autism is something he knows about, and he is an intelligent and educated man. And, he wants to make you feel safe and comfortable. 
"I'll be yours in a moment, y/n-ya."
He has a complete understanding of you and is an excellent observer. The way you're already blushing, fidgeting, and swallowing nervously. He can even hear your heart racing. So first thing first, he will tell you to take a deep breath. After all, he’s a doctor. 
"What do you wanna talk about?" 
As Crocodile, he's a great listener. When you're full of passion and excitement, he thinks you're cute. He likes the sound of your voice. He loves when you want to find him and talk about your passion, because you're offering him a break from his work. If you weren't there, he would be stuck either in work or in his own head. When he's with you, he can forget about his dream of avenging. You're his safe place, truly. 
He doesn't speak a lot. But he is listening.M and asks questions from time to time.
"Yn-ya, there's been no urge. Take your time." And if you're stuttering a lot, he would just say nothing because it's pointless to make a remark, as long as he can understand what you're saying, he will never say something about your elocution. 
"That's interesting, where did you learn that much?" 
Law is a curious and intelligent man, so he likes to learn more about almost everything. If it can help him with his plans or maybe his patients, it might even be beneficial for him.
During your bedtime together, he would ask you to talk about your passions. The way you talk and laugh is like his own lullaby. When you speak, he can find inner peace because it shuts down all the voices in his head. He might fall asleep sometimes when he feels tired. It's just that you're providing him with some relief. When he wakes up, he would be deeply sorry. "So, yesterday, you stopped at this precise point… what were you trying to say after?"
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Kid 
Kid is so goddamn loud. And really passionate. He's focused on his goal of becoming the next PK and has loved mechanics and robotics since childhood. He would be aggressively sweet, like frowning when he notices how stressed and nervous you act towards him. "Hey, Y/N, why are you so fucking nervous? Just speak" 
He thinks you're cute with your cheeks all red. On the flip side, he's a bit confused. Why are you nervous? Is it his fault? He knows he's loud, hard to love and rough, but he cares about people he likes. Have you seen how he acts with Killer and his crew? He loves his people. 
And, as a punk, Kid is marginalized. He knows a lot about being different, and if you feel ashamed about it, he can understand. "Come on y/n, let's find a private place" 
Grab your wrist in an aggressive yet sweet way and lead you to his workshop or bedroom. He sits you on the bed with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Now we're alone." 
So, you start talking nervously. It doesn't matter if the topic is interesting to him or not, he will listen. Because as I said, Kid is a passionate. Everything can be made interesting by passionate people. So, yeah, talk about birds, cakes, plushies, or anything stuck in your head. He will like it. And he enjoys the sound of your voice. He’s even flattered to be your special someone, the one you’re looking for when you need to talk. It fuels his ego and pride.
He will deal with your stuttering as he deals with Killer's laugh. He'll shut up and smash all the people making fun of you if there's something you hate about yourself. You're his s/o, no one can laugh at you and continue to live without facing his rage.
"Goddamn, slow down" yes, not the best with kindness, but at least he's paying attention. 
He wouldn't help but think you're really cute, with your eyes shining as you finally manage to relax and express how passionate you are. He understands your excitement because when he talks about robots, music, punk or weapons, he's exactly the same. 
Kid is not the most culturally advanced, it depends on the topic. He enjoys learning new things thanks to you or Killer, it's important for him to be credible, and he hates looking inferior in front of others. 
"See, there was no reason to be that nervous" When you finished speaking.
Just poke your cheek, grin and leave a mark of lipstick on your front-head before returning to his activities and yelling proudly to everyone he knows everything about the subject you just info-dump about.
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Ace
The sweetest. Ace's personality is both compassionate and protective. He grew up with Luffy, so passionate and talkative people are something he knows a lot about. As he's proud of his brother, he's proud of you and can listen to everything you say for hours. 
"Y/N, is there something wrong?" 
Yeah, he would immediately notice that you're starting to get nervous. His first reflex is to find a more private place, if that's not already the case. He wants to do everything to make you feel safe and loved. If it's winter or just cold, he would even use his DF to warm the room. As soon as you're all comfortable, he'll run his fingers through your hair. "You know I will always listen." 
Ace doesn't speak a lot about what's on his mind. He's way too stubborn and always struggles with guilt due to the blood running through his veins. So he enjoys having someone like you. Your voice is soothing him, and he loves how passionate and honest you are always. 
For him, it's even amazing and unreal to have someone talk to him. You're treating him like a normal human and not a failure, because he feels like it often: unloved, unwanted and unworthy.
"Sweetie, you don't have to rush, we have the time, I'll always listen" if you start to speak too fast.
Would entwine his fingers with yours when you're stuttering and laugh heartily at your jokes. You remind him of his dear little brother. He feels lucky to have you by his side. 
"I could listen for hours." And he's totally honest.
If someone makes fun of you, he's truly mad. You are as significant to him as his brother or Whitebeard. And if someone makes fun of his loved-one, Ace is merciless and really impulsive.
"Please, say more about this specific point!", "Oh, really, that's so funny?" He wants to make you talk even more. Until you're finally relaxed and able to speak without stuttering, blushing, or anything else. He doesn't mind it, even if it lasts for hours. Once you're done, he has his usual sweet smile on his face. "That was so interesting, why are you so embarrassed?" 
So you explain to him that you feel embarrassed about your info dump because you're afraid to annoy people or talk too fast etc." It's alright, you won't bother me." 
You're his sunshine. He feels loved with you. He feels more than just the son of someone; he's just Ace, and that's the most beautiful thing in the world for him.
Such a sweet boy. ♡
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sturniolo04 · 5 months ago
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The Confession 1 C.S.
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Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader
A/N: I tried something different :)
*Really long you have been warned.
I dont even know how I ended up in this position. One minute my best friend Madi thinks she likes both Matt and Chris and the next she is 100% Matt. Me and Madi are super close I mean we practically grew up together and when we met the triplets in Boston everything changed, our circle grew just a little bit bigger. Lately, I haven't been the best friend to Madi just because I have been neglecting to confess to her about my secret crush on Chris and I am not the type to run over her if she knows she likes Chris because who am I to tell her she can't like him especially since I haven't told her that I did.
its about 1:50 in the morning and by this time Madi had walked all the way to a park and found a bench to sit and bawl her eyes out she couldnt figure out why she was feeling this bad whether it was that she couldnt articulate how she hurt Matt and Chris or if it is was because she cant choose between chris and matt she knows them both equally for a long time. sighing looking down at her phone finally deciding to call the one person she knew is always there. Holding in my tears as the dial tone rings hoping she wasnt asleep yet.
"Hello Madi"
jess speaks into the phone
"Jess"
she states through choked tears
"Madi what's going on love what happened" 
"i messed up really bad and i dont know what to do"
she exclaims letting her tears fall
"Madi"
"I like chris and matt and ive might have messed up our friendship"
"no madi you didnt okay i promise you didnt they are still your friends and they love you"
you quickly reply feeling that heavy feeling in your chest again as she still thinks she like chris.
"i dont know"
she replies through a fit of tears
"its okay promise try to get some sleep and you will feel so much better tomorrow i promise"
you reply reassuring her.
"okay goodnight"
she sniffles out
"goodnight i will see you when you get back home "
she hung up from jess and sighed out once more calming her nerves proceeding to walk back to the house. as she made her way into the driveway sitting back on the concrete driveway where the night officially started 
"MADI"
you exclaim softly seeing her sitting on the driveway
"hi"
she replies quietly as she turns around to look at you
"i was so worried are you okay"
you ask again.
"im sorry"
you sigh squatting down and hugging her then sitting down next to her
"i fucked things up didnt i"
she huffs out
"what no well i mean chris and matt are not speaking to each other currently but i mean whats new"
you sigh out since madi basically confessed to both of them on the same night and them both finding out in this driveway tonight.
" but it was my fault im the reason they are mad at each other"
"no no youre not okay they are just being them okay they will grow up"
you reassure her
"but i mean i told you had feelings for chris too"
you state smirking trying to shake the heavy feeling in her stomach at that sentence.
"jesss"
"you know i love you"
you say side hugging her
'well im going to bed you think youre going to be okay"
"yeah thanks j" 
"okay"
you say standing up and walking back into the house as madi rests her head on her arms positioned on top of her knees as someone comes and sits next to her quietly
"hi matt"
she speaks softly out noticing his presence
"hey"
"im sorry"
"why you were just being honest" 
he sighs out
"i do really like you" 
she confesses again
"no madi you and chris are perfect and honestly it makes he was at least able to communicate how he feels about you without being oblivious about it im not the one you need madi you are way out of my league and im okay with that honestly"
he sighs out rambling
"what the actual fuck matt stop youre  out of my league why do you just automatically assume your not good enough" 
she exclaims frustrated standing up and wrapping the blanket you had brought her getting upset
"madi no youre not out of league okay just stay"
he says pulling her hand down a little as she sighs and sits back down as matt pulls me into him connecting our lips guiding her on his lap in the process. He tangled his fingers through her messy hair as he continue to make out with her. Her hands wrapped around his neck tightly as he stood up carrying her back into the house. shepulled away quickly he closed the door behind them and set her back on her feet.
"Matt if-if"
she trails of whispering
"wait"
he stops her as he pulls his and her shoes off leaving them downstairs as he swiftly picks her up again by her thighs taking her upstairs to her room quietly being sure not wake up anyone especially Chris. Matt leans back in after setting her on her bad standing in between her legs attempting to connect their lips again but madi halted him in the process.
"matt..seriously come on"
she giggles out as he sighs out stares at her as she bites her lip slowly.
"yes madi you were saying"
he chuckles out
"matt if- if we do this"
she trails off motions towards them
"no one can know yet"
"okay"
he kind of chuckles at the concept
"im serious matt"
she exhales out looking at him as his face softens at her response
"at least until i figure out how to tell" 
"chris"
"yeah because"
"i know i know"
he sighs out moving himself from in between her to next to her laying on her bed. 
"jess' mom might be coming to boston"
"what that so cool"
"yeah she called her when i walked off tonight"
"oh" 
"yeah"
"well im going to go"
he states standing up
"where"
she states worried
"dont worry just in the other room with chris maybe so you can get some sleep"
he chuckles out giving madi a forehead kiss as he walks out of her room.
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Madi wakes up the next morning mentally face palming herself considering well she basically made out with Matt after literally confessing to both brothers she has feelings for them. she rolled out of bed hoping everything will return to normal. she shower and put on this And head downstairs to be met with the face of the one and only
"good morning"
"whats up how are you feeling"
"better just like jess said"
"jess"
"i talked to her last night after everything"
"oh okay hey madi listen forget everything i said last night i was just being stupid it was nothing"
he states quickly realizing he also confessed that he liked you.
"chris i dont think it was nothing you dont have to lie about it"
"no im being for real"
"christopher"
"what im serious"
"okay then sound cool"
she states heading back upstairs
"where are you going"
"to wake up matt and everyone else"
Chris couldnt understand why he said that he literally let her get away again. His thoughts were soon interrupted the sound of jess's doorbell ringing. He went over and opened the door to reveal
"oh hi there i was- where is jess"
jess mom trails off
"she's upstairs um"
he trailed off kind of awkwardly since he had no idea that this jess's mom as what sounded like jess's laugh approaching the bottom of the stair case. I turned to see jess walking down with Nick and Madi being carried down the stairs by matt. the lady at the door cleared her throat as they all snapped out of their trance looking in that direction
"Mom"
she exclaims running over and hugging her
"mom"
Chris questions
"yeah.. mom this is chris, matt, nick and then you remember madi"
she trails off as chris waves his hand
"Hi you all"
she says with a raised eyebrow smiling
"jess; mom"
she exlcaims hugging her after jess
"hey madi"
"when did you get here" 
madi asks her
"last night when jess called"
Madi looks over at jess standing next to her as she shrugs her shoulders a little not wanting to talk about last night at all due to the fact she still felt the pit in her stomach of guilt of even allowing herself the like chris and not trust madi enough to even tell her that you liked him.
"so mom do you want to come on in then"
she states as madi and her both step aside to let her in
"how long are you going to be here for"
"just the weekend"
"maybe we can all go somewhere and just hang out for a little bit maybe grab dinner does that sound good guys"
she asks everyone
"im fine with that"
nick agrees nodding his head
"mom"
you question her
"sure plus i want to see all there is about Boston since this is my first time up here"
"well the triplets can definitely help point out those key spots since they've grown up here"
"literally"
chris chuckles out admiring jess' laugh slightly
"cool so do want me to ride with you"
"umm.. im going to ride with jess and her mom is that okay"
"uh yeah of course" 
madi and you grab your shoes and they all head out the door.
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"soo"
she trails off looking the mirror at the two girls in the backseat of the car
"what's going on with you and Matt Madi"
"uhh"
" yeah i was going to ask about that i mean i knew you guys made up because i saw him come outside after i left you after you came back home"
"umm i dont know what you guys are talking about"
"are you sure because i remember clearly you being carried down the stairs by him this morning"
"in a skirt too at that madii"
you exclaim dragging out the 'i' in your best friend's name
"oh come on what is that suppose to mean just because we made up doesn't mean we are dating"
"so your telling me he hasnt tried to make a move on you after everything that happened yesterday evening"
she asks as madi kind of stares off into space getting flashbacks to last night of literally her and matt making out in her driveway
"oh my god he totally did didnt he"
"what no jess no" 
"madi"
jess's mom exclaims trying to get an answer out of her
"OKAY maybe we might have made out in the driveway at like 2 in the morning"
"MADISON"
you exclaim at your best friend with your jaw dropped
"what i mean its wasnt like terrible"
she shyly replies.
"that you made out with your bestfriend the best friend you liked for literally ever or that he was actually good at making out"
"OH MY GOODNESS"
madi exclaims embarrassed
" just asking"
"OH MY GOD NO"
"it was definitely the second option"
you giggle out
"shut up Jess"
she exclaims pushing some of her hair behind her ear opening her phone
"just make sure you do and know what your heart wants madi" 
"of course always"
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