#i cannot wait to see how this all entwines with the world as a whole

[melithril]

[Adar] Warrior Of My Heart

♫ - I Adore You - Miley Cyrus

TW: mentions of abuse (not aimed at reader).

A/N: This was a request on AO3, it's quite angsty but comfort too, hopefully you all enjoy it! <3

Today, you had not stopped. From the moment you had woken up, it had been quite the busy day. Errands to run, people to see, you were certain that you had not sat down for several hours. Your feet were begging for rest, and you were counting down the minutes until you could sit at the dinner table with Adar. 

Your lover was what got you through most days. The days when you felt terrible, or the days where the world seemed to turn too fast, you knew that at the end of it all he would be waiting for you. You knew that there was always the night, when you could curl up together and forget the days gone by. 

As you walked, your brain ran to thoughts of Adar. Of how much you cared for him, how you could not wait to be with him again. You had not been lovers for too long, but your whole heart was his in every way.

After what felt like an eternity, you reached you front door and pushed it open, a sigh of relief escaping your lips as you did so. Closing the wooden door as quietly as possible, your eyes scanned the room for Adar. You were being a little more silent than normal, in case he was dealing with any important business or simply resting. He never did enough of the latter, as much as you encouraged him. To your surprise, you found him settled on the chair in front of the fire, glass in hand and eyes focused on the flames before him.

"Adar?" you called out, though he did not move. You knew he could hear you, the distance was not so far that your voice would be drowned out. Narrowing your eyes, you took off your cloak and set it on the hook, making your way over to the uruk with concern.

"My love, is everything okay?"

As your hand took his free one, Adar glanced at you, a sad smile on his face. He had zoned out, and that was why you had gotten no response. Sighing, you pressed a kiss to the side of his head and sat beside him. This happened quite often, he would get too far into his own head and could not find the way out. 

"My light, why do you stay?" Adar questioned, eyes still glued to the crackling fire. You placed a hand on his thigh, still keeping your other hand firmly entwined into his own. 

You knew what this was about. Adar had so many fears when it came to your relationship. He didn't think he was good enough for you, he thought there was so much out there you could be doing. Adar never felt worthy of your presence, your time. He was appreciative that you stayed, that much was true, never would he take you for granted. But, it still bothered him that he never felt good enough to be loved.

You inquired anyway, hoping that questioning him would make him talk, and after that perhaps Adar could hopefully begin healing again.

"What is this about, Adar?"

A small sigh came from the man, as his eyes now looked down to his lap and away from the fire. The pause was long and lasted a while, but you did not push. You gave him all of the time and space he needed to start to get his thoughts out.

"I am no good for you, starlight. I am beyond that which you deserve; I fear I cannot and will not be able to give you what you seek from me." Adar's voice was shaky, a rather rare moment of complete vulnerability. "My past, Morgoth.. everything he has done to me, I grow more aware each day of the fact I am too far past love."

Adar had briefly told you of Morgoth's abuse of him and others, and you never pressed to know more. You knew he was abused badly, that he and everybody else was thought of less than dirt on a shoe.It hurt you to think anyone could have treated Adar so badly.

"It would seem I am far more broken than I first thought. He ruined me, mind and body," Adar continued, taking a sip of whatever was in his glass. "You should not be here, my star. You should  be elsewhere with someone else. A man a thousand times better for you than me lies beyond those walls and I would encourage you to seek him out. I cannot be who you want me to be, I am not strong enough for that. You deserve the world and I am too gone for that, now."

Simply put, your heart broke. You had yet to tell Adar you loved him, fearing it may have been too early to say such a thing, but in this moment, you knew for certain that what you felt was so real. A stray tear fell from his eye and you reached up to wipe it away. His free hand stopped you, letting it cascade down his scarred face. 

"No, you are too pure to touch something so dirty."

That word hurt. Dirty. You felt your heart shatter at that; you knew why he may feel as such, but you were focused on clearing those ideals from his mind. That was the last straw for you, and you broke your hand free of his light grasp and pulled his face towards you. Locking his lips into a chaste kiss, you felt his body relax, whether intentional or not.

"Adar," you began, pulling away but remaining close to him. "You have no idea how I feel for you. I care not of your past, it does not define you as a person. What does define you is how strong you have been to overcome these things. Morgoth was wrong for what he did to you, but now this is a new life. In defiance of everything, you are here. For me, that is enough."

His eyes met yours, sparkling with the strength of a thousand stars. You knew he needed you right now, and he needed reassurance. It was so few and far between that Adar was so open, and you took your chance to tell him exactly how you felt.

"My love, you are everything I could want. Do not doubt that, even for a second. I understand why, and I know you did not mean what you said. You know you are good enough for me, and I know you are the man I love to fall asleep with. There are no arms but yours I wish to be held by, no lips I would rather kiss. Adar, with all I have in me, I love you."

His expression turned into one of shock. You could see his brain turning, and you had wondered if he had ever been told at all that he was loved. 

"You love me?" his voice innocent, and you nodded in response. "I cannot see why, nor do I understand. I am not someone you should love."

"Perhaps not to others. What may be broken to one, is treasure to another. I care for you so deeply, Adar. What defines my love for you is who you choose to be in the face of all that has happened and all that stands before you. You truly are beautiful."

Your hand came to rest on his upper arm, rubbing gentle motions to comfort him. Adar all but fell into your arms, pressing his head against your chest. Your heartbeat always calmed him, and you softly hummed, running your fingers through his hair.

"Now, you listen to me," you spoke low into his ear, not disturbing him from his position. "I cannot change your past, nor can I predict the future and what it may bring. But, what I can do is keep every bad thought in your mind at bay. I promise you I will do all I can within my power to show you how loved and cared for that you are. To show you that you are a person worthy of love. To me, you are my world. I swear by the powers at be that I will protect you with all I have in my soul."

Adar's arms tightened around your midsection as he lay, tears falling fast. All you wanted was to take his pain away, to help distract him from his head. He didn't respond, and you didn't expect him to. You didn't want him to.

Adar's mind had cleared somewhat, the dark thoughts kept at bay by the shining light that was you. Confusion set in him as to why you would stay still, but he was so thankful to you for doing so. Adar made a vow to himself with everything in him to love you exactly as you deserved. To give you as much as he could. 

In your own mind, you had promised yourself the same thing. Whatever may come, you would be there with him, at the end of it all.

"Warrior of my heart," Adar rasped, eyes closing as he lay on your chest. Sleep overtook him as your last words whispered out to him.

"To the end of time, my love." 

Thank you for reading! Feedback is always appreciated and my requests are open! x

[whyanne4]

Daylight

Part: 1/?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Follow the love story of a global pop icon and a monegasque F1 driver

Face claim: Taylor Swift (Singing) + others

Masterlist

2018

celebritynews

Liked by 128 037 people

celebritynews:

The 21 year old pop icon has been spotted getting cozy with the new hot-shot Formula One rookie Charles Leclerc, driver for Sauber F1 Team. The pair was spotted at a night club in Monaco after Sundays Grand Prix.

L/N recently broke up with ex-boyfriend Neymar Jr. after rumors of the footballer cheating on her had been circling the internet. Do you think this new F1 driver could be Mr. Right or just a rebound?

view comments:

Ferrarigirlie: Con😭grat😭ula😭tions😭

y/nicon: I know I never had a chance with her but still…😔

Icemanfan: How in the world did bro manage to pull her?

- cuteasabutton: Ikr!!?? Like we all know that he has an angelic face but I did not think the whole awkward, slightly stupid flirting would work on THE y/n l/n

y/nschild: Awww I actually really ship this. Look at the way she is holding his face as she kisses him🥹 plus he seems like a nice guy, not like that N*ymar

yourusername

liked by blakelively, charles_leclerc and 8 582 194 others

yourusername:

Cats out of the bag I guess. Everyone meet my Lover, Charles.

Charles, stealing my heart was effortless for you. The moment I met you was was like seeing a rainbow at the end of a storm. Your presence has painted my life with the most vibrant and beautiful colors and I can't wait to explore them all. Thank you for making my life happier each day, my heart is forever entwined with yours.

Love y/n🤍

view comments:

charles_leclerc: je t'aime mon amour❤️

Ferrarigirlie: Stop I cannot handle this today!!😭😭

y/nchildrenunite: So this is our new dad? If he makes you this happy I approve mother🫶

futurewagfr: brb I'm just gonna take a bath with my toaster💀

- y/nsfavorite: just gonna go take a nap on the highway💀

leclercxxz: I want love like this one day😖

rorytheracingcar: me and who when?

Charles_leclerc:

Liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2 126 932 others

charles_leclerc:

y/n, mon amour, amore mio, my love. I can speak 3 languages but there is still not a combination of words that can express just how much I love you.

You are my sun that I want to wake up to every morning and the moon that I want to fall asleep to every night. You are the waves that calms me down when life gets hard and the gravity that keeps me grounded. Without you I would forever float in a black void, looking for solid ground, looking for you, mon amour.

Je t'aime, Ti amo, I love you❤️

view comments:

y/nstanzz: OMG STOOOOPPPP!!! THIS IS TOO CUTE! MOTHER WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS GEM??😭😭😭

pierregasly: Man you're down BAD

- charles_leclerc: Shut up, Pierre.

Icamanfan: wow he's in love LOVE

rbvettelsupremacy: where can I find myself one of these?🥹

papayanando: I'm actually crying rn.😭😭

y/nsfavorite: okay I approve of this relationship. This man is gonna treat her right.

[why4anne]

Daylight

Part: 1/?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Follow the love story of a global pop icon and a monegasque F1 driver

Face claim: Taylor Swift (Singing) + others

Masterlist

2018

celebritynews

Liked by 128 037 people

celebritynews:

The 21 year old pop icon has been spotted getting cozy with the new hot-shot Formula One rookie Charles Leclerc, driver for Sauber F1 Team. The pair was spotted at a night club in Monaco after Sundays Grand Prix.

L/N recently broke up with ex-boyfriend Neymar Jr. after rumors of the footballer cheating on her had been circling the internet. Do you think this new F1 driver could be Mr. Right or just a rebound?

view comments:

Ferrarigirlie: Con😭grat😭ula😭tions😭

y/nicon: I know I never had a chance with her but still…😔

Icemanfan: How in the world did bro manage to pull her?

- cuteasabutton: Ikr!!?? Like we all know that he has an angelic face but I did not think the whole awkward, slightly stupid flirting would work on THE y/n l/n

y/nschild: Awww I actually really ship this. Look at the way she is holding his face as she kisses him🥹 plus he seems like a nice guy, not like that N*ymar

yourusername

liked by blakelively, charles_leclerc and 8 582 194 others

yourusername:

Cats out of the bag I guess. Everyone meet my Lover, Charles.

Charles, stealing my heart was effortless for you. The moment I met you was was like seeing a rainbow at the end of a storm. Your presence has painted my life with the most vibrant and beautiful colors and I can't wait to explore them all. Thank you for making my life happier each day, my heart is forever entwined with yours.

Love y/n🤍

view comments:

charles_leclerc: je t'aime mon amour❤️

Ferrarigirlie: Stop I cannot handle this today!!😭😭

y/nchildrenunite: So this is our new dad? If he makes you this happy I approve mother🫶

futurewagfr: brb I'm just gonna take a bath with my toaster💀

- y/nsfavorite: just gonna go take a nap on the highway💀

leclercxxz: I want love like this one day😖

rorytheracingcar: me and who when?

charles_leclerc

Liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2 126 932 others

charles_leclerc:

y/n, mon amour, amore mio, my love. I can speak 3 languages but there is still not a combination of words that can express just how much I love you.

You are my sun that I want to wake up to every morning and the moon that I want to fall asleep to every night. You are the waves that calms me down when life gets hard and the gravity that keeps me grounded. Without you I would forever float in a black void, looking for solid ground, looking for you, mon amour.

Je t'aime, Ti amo, I love you❤️

view comments:

y/nstanzz: OMG STOOOOPPPP!!! THIS IS TOO CUTE! MOTHER WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS GEM??😭😭😭

pierregasly: Man you're down BAD

- charles_leclerc: Shut up, Pierre.

Icamanfan: wow he's in love LOVE

rbvettelsupremacy: where can I find myself one of these?🥹

papayanando: I'm actually crying rn.😭😭

y/nsfavorite: okay I approve of this relationship. This man is gonna treat her right.

[sinarastyx]

Sneak peek of a chapter

Her delicate fingers were already wrapped around a quill, signing her soul away in black ink. For the briefest of moments, he wondered how Renata's fingers would feel entwined with his. Were her hands soft from years of luxury, or perhaps roughened by the grip of a sword? Lamberto froze mid-step, the thoughts of Renata taunting him, pulling him into a reverie he couldn't afford to fall into.  This was his enemy, not anything else!

"Son?" Davide asked calmly, with a hint of worry.

Lamberto snapped from his brain fog, he realized that she just signed the contract to join them.

"What did you do? I told you to wait, I would have-" Lamberto was cut off by his father.

"You would have what, Lamberto? I hope you have not gone behind my back, son." There was a warning in Davide's voice.

"Nothing, nothing at all. I am just so glad that she is here forever..." Lamberto replied through gritted teeth. The most he can do is sit down next to Renata, and attempt to ignore her smug face.

"Good, I am glad you see it my way. As for you Renata, I already have a mission in mind for you." Davide shared a look between the two, and Lamberto didn't like that one bit.

"You will be training Lamberto in the art of cloak and dagger. You will make him into an assassin like you." The words hung in the air, it felt like a curse was just spoken.

Lamberto fell from his seat, tumbling backward. "WHAT??" he bellowed from the ground, scrambling to his feet and rushing to his father's desk. "You cannot be serious, Father!"

Renata went to cover her face with a hand.

"What a cruel punishment you are putting me through. And here I was starting to like you, Davide." She drops her hand down."What do you need me to do?"

Davide placed his hands softly on the table, "Clearly though my son has skill and aptitude, yet he is not fit to do what I need him to do."

"No," Lamberto spoke up, "don't tell me you want me to --"

"Train under her. Yes. And there will be no disagreement upon this affair as I will make it my final decision." He snarled, "And if you dare speak up against me, child, I swear upon your mother that you will be locked in the cellar until you reach my age."

"Father - It cannot be with her, I will not train with this demon! Are you certain there is no one else?" Lamberto could feel his whole world shatter over his father's words.

"No." Davide sounded quite serious and firm, maybe Renata could still talk him out of this silly idea.

"You want me to train him? Hmm, how hard and how far do you want me to push him?" The worst part about this is she is mildly interested in this plan.

Davide was generally surprised at her reaction.

"Father - you cannot be serious. Do you not see the look in her eyes?" Lamberto pleaded, his voice filled with urgency.

"What look?" Davide looked confused as he searched Renata's face.

"They are filled with malice." Lamberto climbed onto Davide's desk, knocking over papers and other items. He would beg his father if he must!

Davide shook his head and shoved Lamberto off of his desk, "If you are to rule our mercenary guild and strike fear to those that cross you, then you must do more than just learn how to read..." He snarled.

"But!" Lamberto whined out as he popped back up over the desk.

( please check out the rest of the writing on Wattpad! Username: SinaraStyx, story name Ad Velume )

[deadeyes-o0]

Kahlil Gibran on Crime & Punishment

It is when your spirit goes wandering upon the wind,

That you, alone and unguarded, commit a wrong unto others and therefore unto yourself.

And for that wrong committed must you knock and wait a while unheeded at the gate of the blessed.

Like the ocean is your god-self;

It remains for ever undefiled.

And like the ether it lifts but the winged. Even like the sun is your god-self;

It knows not the ways of the mole nor seeks it the holes of the serpent.

But your god-self dwells not alone in your being.

Much in you is still man, and much in you is not yet man,

But a shapeless pigmy that walks asleep in the mist searching for its own awakening.

And of the man in you would I now speak.

For it is he and not your god-self nor the pigmy in the mist, that knows crime and the punishment of crime.

Oftentimes have I heard you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world.

But I say that even as the holy and the righteous cannot rise beyond the highest which is in each one of you,

So the wicked and the weak cannot fall lower than the lowest which is in you also.

And as a single leaf turns not yellow but with the silent knowledge of the whole tree,

So the wrong-doer cannot do wrong without the hidden will of you all.

Like a procession you walk together towards your god-self.

You are the way and the wayfarers.

And when one of you falls down he falls for those behind him, a caution against the stumbling stone.

Ay, and he falls for those ahead of him, who though faster and surer of foot, yet removed not the stumbling stone.

And this also, though the word lie heavy upon your hearts:

The murdered is not unaccountable for his own murder,

And the robbed is not blameless in being robbed.

The righteous is not innocent of the deeds of the wicked,

And the white-handed is not clean in the doings of the felon.

Yea, the guilty is oftentimes the victim of the injured,

And still more often the condemned is the burden bearer for the guiltless and unblamed.

You cannot separate the just from the unjust and the good from the wicked;

For they stand together before the face of the sun even as the black thread and the white are woven together.

And when the black thread breaks, the weaver shall look into the whole cloth, and he shall examine the loom also.

If any of you would bring to judgment the unfaithful wife,

Let him also weigh the heart of her husband in scales, and measure his soul with measurements.

And let him who would lash the offender look unto the spirit of the offended.

And if any of you would punish in the name of righteousness and lay the ax unto the evil tree, let him see to its roots;

And verily he will find the roots of the good and the bad, the fruitful and the fruitless, all entwined together in the silent heart of the earth.

And you judges who would be just,

What judgment pronounce you upon him who though honest in the flesh yet is a thief in spirit?

What penalty lay you upon him who slays in the flesh yet is himself slain in the spirit?

And how prosecute you him who in action is a deceiver and an oppressor,

Yet who also is aggrieved and outraged?

And how shall you punish those whose remorse is already greater than their misdeeds?

Is not remorse the justice which is administered by that very law which you would fain serve?

Yet you cannot lay remorse upon the innocent nor lift it from the heart of the guilty.

Unbidden shall it call in the night, that men may wake and gaze upon themselves.

And you who would understand justice, how shall you unless you look upon all deeds in the fullness of light?

Only then shall you know that the erect and the fallen are but one man standing in twilight between the night of his pigmy-self and the day of his god-self,

And that the corner-stone of the temple is not higher than the lowest stone in its foundation.

From 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran

Read more here:

[non-neutoniangender]

More CR, more scarves. I watched 4-sided dive between episodes and hot damn I have thoughts about that too.

The essek lore!?!?!?! Aaaaaaaaaa

Also always love watching the cast interact outside of sessions, and 4-sided dive is really well conceived for their dynamic.

Sam..... sam... your add spots are like notoriously bad, cringey? literally everyone saw the second shoe coming lol. God why does sam always subvert exelpectations like that. Anyway, thoughts:

Lol that was the wrong episode I clicked on. That was the spot from next episode.

This is certainly a battle

Poor Imogen doesn't know how guns work

That was an intense encounter lol

But damn Birdie!! She's got some firepower

This is such a cute little hideout!

.....more rocks

The whole time thing is..... really interesting

Ira...... is............ hmmmmmmm very Fey, chaotic, does kinda whatever

Also Morrigan? Hmmmmmmm

What a cool telescope!!!!

Matt is so good at describing things damn

A whole ass ley line god damn

This is a wild mechanism

Lol not everyone failing those damn perception checks on the damn moon

But wow. This moon is.... something else.

Not sure it was birdies silhouette..... was it Otohan!!??!???

"The old fate-sticher herself" WHOMST!?!?!? damn fearne. But also imso intrigued!! I love fate its such a cool concept

"The old Hag" hmmmmmm what an interesting turn of phrase.....

Older elven man, white hair, blue and grey robes, cane....... fucking Ludinus D'eleth ????? God damn he can't keep himself out of trouble

Double date with Ira lmao!!!!

Whoof that's a powerful crown

Damn love at first sight bro

But also what a sweet story!!! I love hearing stories of people meeting their significant others

No way!!!!! Fearnes grandmother stretched time to have Fearne longer!?!?! Holy shit (damn thanks Ira)

Mori is HOW tall!?!? 13 or 14 feet!?!? Who the fuck is she? She's gotta be some kind of powerful fey being and I cannot wait to figure out who.

A collector..... a hag, no one knows how old she is.... one of many titles.... huh

Wow there are a lot more layers to this Fearne growing up situation that previously thought. Also I wonder if fearne was the payment for the lense that she brought to her parents that would've been....... something.

Marisha is on a chair... shits getting real

But a cage around a moon that's new ish.... showing up where it shouldn't, giving people nightmares........

God the storytelling in dice rolls is.... impeccable as always.

A CITY!?!?!?!? holy shit oh my god not two campaigns were cities are a problem, God I hope this one isn't alive.

WOW that was quite the session holy shit. If this campaign didn't have me hooked before, it definitely does now. Holy shit I'm so curious how this ties into the rest of the story of the world.

[ignitification]

Dissecting What-thefuck-Ever is Happening in Jujutsu Kaisen

Am I crazy? Am I going mad? Is this manga making me delusional? All of this are valid hypothesis. However, onto the content, because I'm confused and trying to give shape to whatever my mind is thinking.

The last couple of chapters really put my English comprehension skills to test: not because I don't get it, but all the different details and the shades which Gege uses to describe and entwine things is so subtle that sometimes I am afraid that the translation does not give it justice. And kudos anyways to those who put this into words, because this is one big mess on 'insert weird jujutsu thing'.

This New Arc (The Culling) is probably one of the most difficult, in terms of events and storyline, arcs in the story. Fair enough, Shibuya was pretty complicated, as events were happening at the same time - but in the end, Shibuya lasted about five hours and that was it. The Culling has origins which go back in centuries, and only that makes it interesting, dangerous and maddening to think about.

One thing which I want to mention before anything else, because I know that I will forget otherwise, is the sentence which Tengen repeats twice in Chapter 145.

Per his saying, he cannot read the Human Heart, once in reference to Yuki, and the other in reference to Kenjaku. The weird thing is that this makes it clear that despite everything and the implications, Kenjaku - is still human at the end. He is physical, material and therefore he is not invincible. I am not sure if this was the intent behind this words (to let them know how Kenjaku is as human as them, and therefore it it possible to stop him) - but I still it has some sort of relevance. Also, this makes me question, whether Kenjaku's technique is limited to the brain and its knowledge, and what generally his technique is.

Tengen tells the Six Adventurers that Kenjaku is at least as old as Sukuna, and the two have been involved somehow. His objective is so force human evolution. And in order to do, he wants to boost up Japanese individuals (likely because of the amount of immense cursed energy present) - and to merge Tengen, who is now more cursed spirit than human, with humankind.

This is because the next stage of sorcery (and humanity, intrinsically), for Kenjaku, lies in optimising cursed energy. But in order to do so, the potential which human retain needs to be exploited fully. Therefore, people have to be aware that there is still potential to be discovered (next stage of human evolution).

The objective of the Culling Game therefore splits into two currents: cull the potential vessels to fuse with Tengen and spread cursed energy like wildfire (with the end goal being a new golden era, Heian Era) by applying the natural law of the survival of the fittest (searching for the one who could completely fuse with Tengen) and making Japan the cull of all cursed energy - which would potentially attract other cursed energy, from other countries (even if as we know it is extremely lower compared to Japan) and as Yuki potentially already guessed in Chapter 136 to make Japan a monopoly on cursed energy.

Another things which gets mentioned, but at the same time I am not entirely sure has anything to do with the things I am thinking of (and specifically Sukuna's fingers and the remains of the clan ancestors - if this is even a thing), however boundaries and restrictions (f.e. Heavenly Restriction that both Toji and Maki have) are a very big thing in Jujutsu Society and Sorcery. A blatant example is the pact that Sukuna made with Yuuji (and that neither can break). However, according to Tengen the bond of fate between The Six Eyes, Tengen and the Star Plasma Vessel has been broken thanks to Toji Fushiguro, who killed Riko Amanai 12 years ago. (Also, the choice of words that Toji escaped cursed energy is very interesting, and worthy of further looking into). This allowed for Kenjaku to carry out his plan to weaken and further let Tengen evolve into an almost cursed spirit, which he could manipulate through Getou's technique (which explains why he seized his body) to finally let the ritual of breaking into the body and finally merging begin (the culling game). To allow this however, Kenjaku had to make different restrictions, one of which is not not be the Game Master of the Culling. But in this case, two questions come up: who is the Game Master and what are the other restrictions? Can this be used as an advantage by Yuuta, Yuuji, Megumi and Maki to beat Kenjaku, free Gojo and stop the Evolution?

And this also prompts the question of, if Kenjaku would merge with Tengen in Getou's body, what would the consequence be? Also, does this merging occur after the end of the Culling? What if Kenjaku finds another body to take advantage of and this way, the vows he made when it Getou's body are not worth anymore? Would that play in his favour? Could it even be possible?

However, in order to do so, and since Tengen's barrier optimises cursed energy, and at the same time protects itself, Kenjaku is striving to eliminate Tengen's barrier. In the end, if the cursed energy is dispersed, yes it would mean chaos, but as well it would mean endless possibilities to evolve. Furthermore, if Is stretch this into unknown territory, what the picture could be is: since for Kenjaku the only ones able to successfully merge with Tengen and have a use out of it are Japanese people (for reasons stated before), and from the things we know of Kenjaku (old as they come, acquainted with Sukuna and Uraume, mad scientist who tampered with the Womb Paintings - creating Choso among the others, and most likely having tampered with the Itadoris') it would create the picture of a mad scientist in full gear striving for innovation, evolution, creating by destruction.

It gets cleared with the content on these next two panels:

Kenjaku wants a chaotic world, one that even he cannot control, in which Cursed Energy is a limitless source and has no possibility to be put down. The question that comes naturally with it is definitely why, because I am afraid that merely 'evolution' is a downplay of the real intentions of someone who experimented so much and has survived different centuries, under different names - all of which (known for now) are of 'evil' jujutsu sorcerers (both Kamo Noritoshi and Getou Suguru), who did not conform with the will of jujutsu society.

Does Kenjaku want the whole to end, to go berserk - because if there are no barriers and one individual goes mad, everyone does? The creation of 'Trascendent Being' which are more than jujutsu sorcerers? To see what's over the threshold of jujutsu sorcery? To have the world as the scene for a new Shibuya but with the possibility to influence and kill more people? Territorial expansion extendable over a certain barrier?

Anyway, I am not sure what the point is, just that Gege's plot is absolutely amazing and I can't wait to know more.

[atsukashii]

Hi is it ok if I request y/n x kuroo & she/her & ☀️ & pink please?

smooth like butter, like a criminal undercover gon' pop like trouble breaking into your heart like that

✘ hey google: how do you tell if a guy is flirting with you?

✘ GENRE: fluff

✘ WARNINGS: aged up characters, bookshop au

✘ WORD COUNT: 1.9k

“I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.”

Closing your work locker, you raise an eyebrow at the familiar six foot, raven haired guy, who smirks down at you as if he just won first prize. In cringe worthy pick up lines? Yeah he can take that medal.

“Are you calling me a snack?” You ask, adjusting the strap of your bag.

“Will you go out with me if I say yes?” Kuroo asks again, wagging his eyebrows at you teasingly, and you immediately know he’s messing with you.

“Not a chance.” Offering him a scathing glare, you spin on your heels and slip out the front door of the shop. When you’d first gotten the job at the small bookshop near your house, you'd have been ecstatic. Although you’d been less ecstatic about your new colleague who you’d never met before in your life, but had been slipping you cheesy and corny pick up lines every day for months.

You didn’t even know that there were that many ways to flirt with someone, but alas, Kuroo proved you wrong every shift. At first, you’d been a flustered bumbling mess trying to come up with a response, but as you caught on to how his hazel eyes glinted with untamed mischief, you’d decided that Kuroo wasn’t your favourite person.

That wasn’t to say that you by any means hated the guy, there was no way you could when he was literally one of the nicest people you’d ever come across in your life. He held doors open for you, and would volunteer to carry the new boxes of stock out back because they were heavy - although you had an inkling that was partly to show off. In the end, Kuroo is sweet, kind, and hilarious. But he thinks that hitting on you every day, and asking you out as a joke is also hilarious.

And it’s hilariously pissing you off.

Because somewhere down along the way, between the angel references and calling you a ‘cute-cumber’ you’d found yourself smiling at the lines. You found yourself anticipating getting to work shifts with him, just to see him and for the chance to witness the familiar rogue smile and the pure giddiness that emits from his very being.

But to him, it was a joke. And that left more than a bad taste in your mouth.

Adjusting your bag once more, you try to slide the store door closed behind you to keep the aircon inside - a stark contrast to the summer heat bearing down on you. Before it can close completely, a hand rolls the glass door to a stop and you find yourself once again looking up into hazel eyes.

“Not finished?” You snipe back, having reached your quota of fake flirting for the day. Kuroo doesn’t flinch at your tone, or maybe he just chooses not to notice judging by the smile that graces his face. Maybe, just maybe you could eventually get over him. It’s not going to go anywhere, if it was going to, he wouldn’t have waited literal months to make a move. So maybe, you can let him go.

“Oh I have plenty more for you princess, but I just thought you might want this first.” In his hand is a copy of the book you’d been reading behind the counter of your shifts. Blinking twice, you realise it’s got similar dog eared pages and a crinkled spine from continuous use - that's your book. Instinctively you peer into your bag on your shoulder, and alas, it's empty. With an empty mind, you take the item from Kuroo’s outstretched hand, and offer him a quick thanks as you try to swallow the emotion in your throat.

“You’re most welcome. Walk home safe, I'll see you tomorrow princess.” Kuroo responds with a rogue wink that has you flushing from head to toe. His knowing grin proves that was the response he was looking for, so you quickly shove the book in your back and practically run from your work - swearing that you can feel his gaze on you the whole way home.

Yeah, there’s no chance you’re going to get over him.

This is cemented on your next night shift. You stand behind the counter, your eyes glancing up from the book you’re reading to the group of teenage girls giggling amongst the young adult isle. Really, it should be an actual law for people to be as quiet in bookstores as they are in libraries.

The door opens once more, and you begin to groan internally at the thought of even more rowdy teenagers coming in, but instead Kuroo slinks through the door in all his six foot two glory. Dressed in his work shirt, some black jeans and his usual sneakers, he looks good and the bastard knows it from the raised eyebrows he shoots you when he catches you looking. You don’t reply, but instead turn back to your book, ignoring him and the gaggling teenagers who suddenly shut up as he walks past them to go to the back room. You can’t blame them as their eyes stay glued to his every movement. Kuroo walks like he was meant to carry the world on his shoulders, but instead spins it like a basketball on one finger. As if the most difficult things for him are effortless. Like a god amongst men. Okay, let's not go that far. If he ever heard that, his ego would asphyxiate everyone from here to the south pole.

“Do you like my shirt?” Kuroo’s question has you turning around before you can stop yourself, but you’re all levels of confused as he holds the hem of his shirt in pinched fingers away from his body. His shirt? It’s his work shirt…

“Uh it’s your work shirt…” You manage to mumble out, brows still furrowed, completely baffled.

“Yeah but its made of a different material.” He points out, moving closer to you, only looking up from his shirt and to you when he’s standing only a few feet away. “Boyfriend material.” His grin is actually blinding, so you’re not sure if you’re squinting from that, or from the way you scrunch up your nose in distaste at his line.

“I hate you.” You grumble, turning away and looking down at your book once more, letting your hair fall over your cheeks to hide the flush splashed brightly across them.

“Hate me? Why must you hurt me so princess?” Kuroo jokes, and you find yourself getting more and more disappointed as he grows quiet and begins to start on his own work for the shift. It’s not until you both notice the gaggling girls practically drooling on the floor at him that you decide you need to take your break.

Closing your book loud enough to startle the group of girls and the guy flicking aimlessly through a volleyball magazine at your side. “I’m going for my ten.” You offer in explanation as you try to move out back. You don’t get to even make it past the counter before there's a warm hand wrapping around your own. Kuroo’s hand completely engulfs yours in the best ways and you can’t help but gape at it as it pulls your walk to a stop.

“Are you alright?” He asks, drawing your eyes reluctantly from your entwined hands to his face, and once you spot genuine concern there, you hesitate with your response. How do you say that no, you’re not okay because would you be if the person that you liked jokingly asked you out on a daily basis for months on repeat? But never meant it?

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Kuroo doesn’t let go just yet, but instead scratches the back of his neck with his other hand nervously.

“You know, if I'm honestly bothering you, please tell me. I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable y/n,” He offers, shame and hurt flashing brightly in his eyes - and it shocks you stupid for a few seconds. It takes you an added moment that he’s talking about his teasing. Wait, he thinks he’s bothering me? Is he?

“Kuroo, if it was bothering me I would have told you alright?” You say softly, your gaze drifting back to your hand. “I mean sure sometimes it can be a bit much but that's mainly because I'm an idiot.” Not expecting those words, Kuroo’s nerves bleed into a confused frown that has you wanting to reach up and thumb away the line between his pinched brows.

“An idiot? Princess, if what I'm saying is bothering you-”

“It’s not what you’re saying that’s bothering me, it’s the joking.” The second the words leave your mouth, you wish you could reach out, grab them, and shove them back down your throat, because the way Kuroo drops your hand as if it burnt him hurts more than you thought it would.

“Joking?” His tone is utterly perplexed, and this time, you’re the one looking back at him with confusion. A loud laugh barks from his chest and you immediately feel embarrassed for absolutely nothing. Kuroo is laughing so hard and obnoxiously that tears actually crest the corner of his eyes, and at this rate you’re ready to just walk out the door if it means you don’t have to deal with this embarrassment for another second.

“You mean to tell me, that all this time you thought I was joking?” Kuroo gets out between laughs, and you feel your stomach drop at his words. What does he mean did you think he was joking? Was he not?

Your silence is answer enough because he runs a hand through his thick dark hair and leans back on the counter behind him.

“Jesus Christ Y/n!”

“You would laugh at me after you said them!” You defend, pointing an accusing finger in his way. How could you not think he was joking when he’d laugh at you, his whole being the very embodiment of mischief when he would say his lines.

“Because your face would go red and you’d tell me I was an idiot under your breath, because it was cute!” Kuroo rebuts right back, trying once more not to laugh, and you can’t help but groan. You cannot believe that this entire time, he was actually trying to ask you out on a date. Well, you can’t fault his perseverance and tenacity.

“Kuroo,” you grumble, bridging your fingers and pressing them to your forehead in thought, just trying to calm your raging heart at the fact that this is happening.

“Y/n,” he grins right back, and you can feel him closing in on your position before you can even see him. But once you open your eyes again, letting your hands fall from your face, Kuroo’s stunning features are right up close and more beautiful than you’d thought.

“Does this mean that you’ll go out with me when I ask this time?” You really do try for your pride's sake to not flush at his words, but heat still crawls up your neck and Kuroo’s growing smile tells you that your mental attempt to stop it isn’t working.

“Yes, I will.” You say, letting the smile tug at the corners of your mouth.

“Good, I'll remember that for my new line tomorrow.”

✘ A/N: more fluffy kurro for ya day, y'all i am l i v i n g for this man rn

©️ 2021 all rights reserved to atsukashii, do not change, edit, translate, or repost any works on any platform.

[chainofclovers]

Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] ASMR Transcripts (Victor)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for ASMRs which have not been released in English servers! 🍒

> reliance - 依赖

> warm embrace - 温暖怀抱

> seep into the heart - 沁入心扉

> entwined breaths - 交错呼吸

> pillows and stars - 枕星

> evening affection - 暮夜缱绻

reliance - 依赖

You aren’t sleeping yet?

Didn’t you say you were tired beyond compare?

But what?

If you’re tired, sleep early.

[ footsteps ]

I’ve closed the curtains. Go to sleep.

…what are you muttering about this time.

Hm?

Removing your make-up?

You know that you can’t sleep without removing your make-up, yet you aren’t getting up quickly.

You can’t get up?

….do you think you’re a three-year-old child?

[ Victor carries MC to the bathroom ]

I’m not carrying you? What’s the difference? The result is the same, so the method isn’t important.

…stop fidgeting. If you move again, I’ll put you down.

Your hand… hold on tight.

Mm, this is better.

Okay, get off.

Why aren’t you moving?

Why are you looking at me?

…you want me to help you?

…you’re insatiable.

Tell me, how am I supposed to help you?

Eye and lip makeup remover…

[ sound of bottles ]

On the right side? Oh, found it.

After that? Cotton pad… how much do I pour?

Why are you closing your eyes? You need to close your eyes to apply it?

…of course I know that.

You still have the energy to laugh? Looks like you’re not that tired. Do it yourself then.

All right, close your eyes.

Do I just leave it here and not move?

Thirty seconds? Okay…

You want to me say something? Okay. What do you want to hear?

Dummy… you took too long to think. Thirty seconds is already over.

–

I’m going to start wiping.

Is the strength okay?

Didn’t you say you’d get wrinkles if you wipe too hard?

“Who did you hear that from?” Who else could it be but you?

I wasn’t eavesdropping. You were muttering too loudly as usual.

…Spending your whole day on such meaningless things.

You’ll get them one day anyway.

What’s wrong?

Does it still hurt?

Don’t rub it. Come a little closer…

I’ll wipe it a little.

Does it feel better? …Why did you suddenly widen your eyes?

I call you a dummy, and you really start becoming clumsy.

–

Mm? You’re blaming me?

I’m just telling you the truth.

Everyone will grow old and get wrinkles.

But there’s no need to worry. I’ll grow old together with you.

What’s next…? Makeup remover…

Eh, remember not to open your eyes.

If it gets into your eyes, or if you feel pain, let me know immediately.

Is this all?

Why are you so nervous? Relax.

Sit still…

I’m not a dummy. Even if I don’t know how to use it, I know how to read the instructions.

Does it feel comfortable?

I’m going to wash it off now.

Come a little closer…

Okay, it’d be done soon.

You can sleep soon.

It’d be done in 20 seconds. Mm… if 20 seconds is too long, then 10 seconds.

It’s done.

Go back to sleep.

You don’t want to walk back on your own?

[ Victor lifts her up ]

Next time you want me to carry you, just tell me directly.

We’ve reached. Go to sleep.

You really do what you say, sleeping in a second.

[ Victor kisses MC ]

Rest well. Goodnight.

warm embrace - 温暖怀抱

What’s wrong?

You’re crying?

What happened?

You’re unwilling to tell me? That’s fine.

Remember to tidy up the tissues once you’re done.

The rubbish that you threw, throw it away yourself. Do you have an issue with that?

What’s wrong? No longer crying? Are you done?

If you want to cry, go on.

I will sit here and wait for you to finish crying. I won’t disturb you.

Sure you’re not longer crying?

No longer crying? Then go wash your face.

How long have you been crying alone? What made you cry until like this?

Give me the towel.

What exactly happened? Tell me.

Why are you crying again? You’re not allowed to cry. Your eyes are so swollen, and you’re still crying. Don’t they hurt?

All right, it’s late. Go to sleep. I’ll be with you.

Do your eyes still hurt?

Okay, I’ll massage them.

What shall we eat for breakfast tomorrow?

A few days ago, didn’t you keep bugging me about making you a lemon tart? Do you still want it?

I knew that you’d perk up once I mention food. Crying and then smiling - are you a three-year-old child?

Turn around. Let me look at your eyes. How did you cry yourself into a civet cat?

If your eyes can’t open, go to sleep. I’m turning off the lights.

Why are you hugging me so tightly?

You felt wronged?

I’m not making fun of you. Don’t you love to cry? It’s not like it’s the first time.

Tsk, you bit me? Looks like you haven’t cried enough.

All right, stop playing around. Keep your small sharp teeth away. Be quiet and listen to me.

When you feel wronged, it’s normal to cry. But you can’t just know how to cry. When it comes to trivial problems, and the initial emotions have passed, you need to let it go. Don’t keep turning it over and over in your head. Only when you’ve calmed down can you find a solution to the problem.

Not making a sound – You don’t like hearing these things?

All right, I won’t talk about these principles.

Looking at how silly you are, of course you’d be knocked down by a small problem.

What’s wrong? Not acknowledging that you’re foolish?

I know what you’re crying about. But you must know that there are a lot of circumstances in the world that are out of our control. The causes and reasons behind every circumstance is complicated.

In a world where it’s impossible to know everything, it’s normal that we experience things we cannot understand and find difficult to accept. Even so, we have to accept it.

There are many ways to accept it. Crying is also one of them. However, only for one night.

The dummy I know will not be defeated by this small problem.

Don’t rub your eyes. When you wake up, your eyes wouldn’t be painful anymore.

[ Victor kisses MC ]

Sleep. Everything will be okay.

seep into the heart - 沁入心扉

Why did you only turn the night light on?

What?

[ sound of footsteps ]

Have you been waiting on the carpet until now?

You specially waited for me.

All right, I’ll sit nearer.

It’s only fun if I open the present in the dark?

Can’t you have a change of pattern?

Hm? I can only open half of it first?

Tell me. You gave me a gift, so why do I have guess first?

You’re insatiable.

Fine.

It seems heavy.

Is it a pillow?

I’m wrong?

Hm. Let me feel it a little more.

Why does it feel cooling?

I haven’t guessed it yet.

Give me a hint.

I can open another quarter? You’re really…

So what’s this saying?

Come closer.

Help me press it.

[ sound of the gift being opened ]

This is… a cooling pillow? Or a cushion?

I’m still wrong?

It’s too dark. I can’t see.

When do you plan to disclose the answer?

[ rustling and footsteps ]

I already guessed it and you still said I was wrong.

I think you’re getting bolder.

Why did you think of giving me a cooling cushion?

Because the weather is hot?

Mm. I have been sitting in front of the computer for long durations recently.

I need it.

It’s good to be tired.

I will be sure to take rest.

Unlike some dummy, who, in order to give me a present, has already yawned twice

And you still say you’re not tired?

Changing the topic again.

Mm. It is very comfortable. I like it a lot.

However, why were you being mischievous just now?

I’ll give you half a minute to explain.

[ awkward silence ]

What? You can’t craft a reason?

You’re really…

[ rustling sounds. MC starts massaging him? ]

This tactic doesn’t work.

What are you thinking about?

I moved over so you can experience the cushion with me.

[ footsteps ]

Mm.

How is it? Comfortable?

Come up a little.

Come up a little more.

You’re really…

How about now?

[ Victor’s delectable breathing sounds ]

I also find it very comfortable.

You can touch it.

[ TOUCHING SOUNDS ]

Doesn’t your back feel much cooler?

What did you say?

Water bed?

It’d indeed be more comfortable.

The shopping mall nearby has it.

No need to trouble yourself.

If you like it, I’ll buy one for you.

What’s wrong? You’re getting tired?

Then sleep.

Hm? Why are you holding onto my clothes?

You don’t want to sleep?

Then, do you want to have supper?

I brought some small bites back.

You don’t want to eat?

You don’t want to eat or have supper.

Tell me. What exactly are you thinking?

Dummy.

[ Victor kisses MC ]

Were you thinking about this?

Mm.

[ Victor kisses MC ]

Dummy.

Close your eyes.

entwined breaths - 交错呼吸

You can fall asleep while reading a book…

[ Victor flips through the book ]

Hm?

You’re always mumbling in your sleep.

[ Victor flips through the book ]

[ MC wakes up. Rustling of sheets ]

You’re awake?

“Basic Massage Techniques.”

Why are you looking at such a book?

You want to give me a massage?

You’re really putting what you learnt into practice.

Tell me. What do I have to do?

Lie here? Okay.

[ Victor moaning ]

The technique isn’t bad.

But… did I not feed you enough at night?

Use more strength.

Continue.

I won’t interrupt your performance.

[ Victor moaning ]

Over here.

[ Victor moaning ]

It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt.

I’ve been on planes recently, so it’s a little stiff here.

[ Victor moaning ]

All right, that’s enough.

Your hands aren’t tired?

You’ve clearly got enough sleep.

You’re very energetic.

The sofa is so narrow.

You don’t feel uncomfortable?

Come here.

Sit on my lap.

It’s more comfortable than the sofa.

You can continue.

[ Victor moaning ]

Hm? What’s wrong? You’re feeling shy now?

Fine, I won’t stare at you.

What are your hands touching?

My face needs a massage too?

Such strange logic.

When it comes to these things, you’ve really done your research.

[ Victor moaning ]

That’s a good analogy.

If 10 is the full mark, it’d be a 8.5.

You’re unsatisfied with this evaluation?

[ Victor kisses MC ]

Are you satisfied now?

[ Victor moaning ]

No need…

I don’t need a massage there.

[ Victor moaning ]

You’re still not being honest.

[ Victor moaning ]

You’re getting bolder.

What’s wrong? You want to lean against me?

What’s wrong? You’ve sprained your wrist?

You’re really a dummy.

Be good and sit here.

I’ll bring an ice pack over.

Why are you pulling me?

If it isn’t serious, I’ll just press it for you.

Give me your hand.

Wasn’t someone very happy when pinching my face just now?

Now you know what pain is.

How’s this?

Does it hurt?

All right. I’ll be more gentle.

How does it feel now? Does it still hurt?

If it doesn’t hurt, relax a little more.

How about now?

I’ll have to exert some pressure now.

If it hurts, let me know.

Don’t be too nervous.

I know how far to go and when to stop.

Relax.

I wouldn’t do anything to you.

What did you just say?

What do you mean by “9 marks”?

Only higher than you by 0.5?

I think you’re becoming more and more insatiable

Hm?

You know what pain is now?

You said you wanted to help me relax, and yet caused trouble for me again.

You don’t plan to compensate me with something?

I remember what I promised you. I wouldn’t go back on my word.

These are two different things.

Your memory is very good when it comes to these things.

Put the blanket over yourself properly. Wait for a while.

What’s wrong? Have you thought of how you’re going to compensate me?

Let’s hear it.

You’re too soft.

Lean closer.

[ Rustling sounds ]

Even closer. [laughs]

pillows and stars - 枕星

[ Sounds of waves on the shore. MC splashes her feet in the water ]

Do you want to look at the stars or stand around looking silly?

Aren’t you tired from lifting your head?

Come over and lie down.

Are you going to say that before today, you never would have thought Victor would be accompanying you to lie on the beach and watch the stars?

I said it before.

There’s nothing you can’t think about, and there’s nothing I can’t guess.

You’re here to look at the stars. Not to look at me.

Your eyes should be lifted upwards.

[ Victor laughs ]

Are the stars here what you expected?

Me?

I saw the stars frequently when I was small.

On a roof in Èze.

It felt the same as right now.

Not requiring much thought, nor needing to care about how much time has gone by. It’s just that I became too busy later on. Moreover, I can also see the stars from LFG’s roof. Or rather, I need to face even more important things than looking at the stars. [ Victor sighs ] There was indeed a time. When I forgot to lift my head up to have a look. [ Victor sighs ]

Translated by @cheri-translates on Tumblr ( ́・ᴗ・ ` ) When LFG was first established, there were some problems with the way the management was

run.

Every day, there would be a continuous stream of issues.

None of them could be held off to the next day.

I had no choice but to busy myself till late.

And the employees who were waiting for my official replies would also have to wait till late.

It took a long time before LFG could slowly get on the right path.

Saying all this is meant to tell you that I’ve taken the crooked path before.

So you don’t have to feel dejected every time you make a mistake.

Moreover, many things don’t have a right or wrong in the first place.

It’s just that every person has a different way of thinking.

I remember telling you that if you ever feel too fatigued, you can quieten your heart and think - which area did the problem surface from?

After finding it, think of a solution, and arrange a work tempo that belongs to you. Don’t keep getting led by the tempo outside.

Don’t be so quick to retort.

Think first. Give it some thought before doing it.

Even if the final conclusion is that there isn’t space for improvement, at least it’s a conclusion that has gone through contemplation.

When you face the troublesome problem again, you’ll have a more calm attitude. True, this isn’t an ingenious method. It’s just experience.

But you wouldn’t lose out from giving it a try.

At least LFG has been operating quite well till now.

It shows that this method has its merits.

[ Victor takes a deep breath ]

And after that...

You wanted to watch the sunset, then the sea, then the cherry blossoms, then the snow mountain.

You want to do whatever you think of. There isn’t a single moment of tranquilly. For example, right now.

[ Victor takes a deep breath ]

But I agree with your view.

Finding time to relax and take a break is a very important thing.

You’re right.

There’s a need to look upwards sometimes.

[ Victor takes a deep breath ]

I also think the starry sky is beautiful.

Looking at the stars like this makes me feel as though the surrounding clamour doesn’t have anything to do with us.

No matter how important work is, or how tedious life is, they can’t be compared to living this moment seriously.

Mm. Even your silly smile right now - I’ll remember it too.

[ Victor takes a deep breath ]

Are you cold?

Come closer.

[ Rustling sounds as MC shifts closer ]

I asked you to come closer.

I’ll block the wind for you.

I didn’t let you lean your whole body on me. [ Victor grunts ]

Why are you burying your face in my arms?

Are you still looking at the stars?

If you aren’t, I can bring you back.

If there’s something you want to do, say it directly.

I can’t understand the hemming and hawing used specially by dummies. But it’s not that I can’t make a guess.

[ Victor laughs, kisses MC, breathes heavily, and kisses her again ]

What’s so difficult about guessing the thoughts of a dummy?

Turn your face over.

Do you really want to bury your face in the sand and become a turtle?

Close your eyes.

Be obedient.

Close your eyes.

[ Victor takes deep breaths ]

When we left home, didn’t you want me to give you a night you’ll never forget for the rest of your life?

Whatever I promise you, I will always fulfil it. Tonight - I’ll remember it.

[ Victor takes deep breaths ]

You aren’t allowed to forget either.

evening affection - 暮夜缱绻

[ washing sounds + hair dryer blowing ]

Your face is so red.

Are you too warm after the bath?

If you lean over, just lean over.

Where are you putting your hand?

Why is it so fragrant?

Just how many types of body lotions did you apply?

Guess the smell?

Is this a little game before bed?

You were dillydallying in the bathroom for such a long time just to fiddle with this?

Since you don’t feel like sleeping yet,

I’ll satisfy you.

You said it yourself.

If I guess correctly, I’ll naturally claim a prize.

[ ruffling sounds ]

Tell me.

Where do you want me to start?

Okay.

Turn your head over a little.

Ticklish?

I’m not even touching you.

What’s so ticklish?

[ ruffling sounds + sniffing ]

The smell on your neck -

It’s lemon.

I haven’t moved.

Why are you hiding?

Aren’t you tired like this?

If you aren’t comfortable, come over a little.

Lean on me.

[ sniffing ]

There’s a scent of tangerine on your wrist.

Looks like I’ve guessed correctly.

Where’s the next location?

[ sniffing ]

What posture are you going for?

Sit still.

Don’t move.

If the location is wrong, I’m not taking responsibility.

[ sniffing ]

The scent on your waist -

It’s rose.

I can tell that you’re taking the trouble to increase the difficulty level.

But the scent of the rose’s fragrance is very obvious.

It can be identified in a short while.

[ sniffing ]

What?

You feel unaccomplished?

Even lower.

[ sniffing ]

It’s lavender.

[ sniffing ]

The ankles -

It’s grapefruit.

The game is over.

However,

Don’t you think this game was far too easy for me?

You haven’t thought about it yet?

Since the beginning of last week, you’ve been placing different types of body lotion in the bathroom.

Of course I noticed them at a glance.

Dummy.

What are you doing now?

Applying body lotion for me?

I can cooperate with you.

Just treat it as

Me gaining slight interest in this little game before bed.

What’s wrong?

This position isn’t convenient?

Which position do you want me to change to?

Anything is fine,

As long as you find it comfortable.

[ MC applies lotion ]

You’ve got it all over your hands.

Is that much really necessary?

It’s too fragrant.

As expected, it’s a scent only a dummy would like.

Continue.

Are you sure this is the way to apply body lotion?

Doesn’t your hand feel sore like this?

All right.

It’s time for this little game to end.

My favorite scent?

Aren’t you clearest about that?

Hm? Your face is red.

What are you thinking about?

I’m referring to when I hug you.

[kiss] Close your eyes.

Right now,

I should claim my prize.

[saphirered]

Hi I was wondering if you would write an Essek x reader (gender neutral) where they are having a relaxing day out and the reader teaches Essek to make flower crowns, and it just allot of fluff and wholesome stuff.

Here you go! Enjoy. I really needed this type of wholesomeness. Thank you for the request. 😘

Seated among the plants and flowers at the base of the tree inside the Xhorhaus, you’re focussing on your surroundings, eyes closed. A meditation-like state keeps you grounded and aware of all around you regardless of lack of visual. Every breath you take makes you feel much lighter, floating in your own consciousness. It’s a comfortable and familiar feeling.

It could have been minutes, or hours. You’re not entirely sure but at least you know if someone needs you or you’ll be going somewhere, your friends will come get you. For now you were blessed with a moment of peace, away from the troubles of the world outside, shielded by the colourful flowers, fresh smell of herbs and the soft glow of the fairy lights.

But your peace and quiet was interrupted. Usually you’re very much aware of footsteps approaching, but when the individual doesn’t walk, taking care to avoid the greens, you’re left a oblivious to the presence. The clearing of a throat makes you nearly jump out of your skin.

“My apologies. I don’t mean to interrupt you…” You see the sheepish expression of the white haired wizard floating at a comfortable distance, turn apologetic.

“Essek!” You breathe trying to calm your pounding heart, hand to your chest.

“I am so sorry. I did not mean to scare you. I should have announced my presence.” The mixture of embarrassment and regret remain present in both his behaviour and voice as you get up and give him a once over.

“It’s quite alright. I didn’t expect any visitors.” You smile assuring him no harm was done as you get to your feet brushing off your trousers. Essek is a hard to read individual but even the most oblivious of people could tell something is off. Strange. You tilt your head pressing your lips together.

“Is everything alright? You seem a bit out of it if I’m honest.” Essek’s eyes fall to the floor in front of him trying to find the correct words to answer your question; unusual for someone usually so quick with words. You take a few steps closer to him and take his hand in yours giving it a squeeze letting him know you’re there as you wait for his reply.

“I… I am unsure how to phrase this correctly nor in an appropriate way.” He speaks caught in his own mind still. His eyes are searching still focussed on the ground and your entwined hands. You place your free hand on his shoulder, the gesture pulling him out of his head and instead focus on you.

“Try me.”

“I-. This day- These last few… weeks, have been absolute chaos. With everything going on I have not had a moment of peace in a long time.” Essek’s shoulders drop and his feet touch the ground with a soft tap muted by the mossy floor. You pity him. So young and so much pressure, people depending on him. No one should have to deal with all of that alone.

“I’ve always found diving into my work head first ignoring the world contained the chaos and turned it into order instead, something I could control but now I cannot even read a single sentence, transcribe a single equation or confront a single person without feeling like my mind is about to explode.” A weight lifts by the mere vocalising of the words, tension dropping from Essek’s physique as it does from his mind.

“I didn’t know who else to turn to. For some reason, you always have an air of calmness, around you. Whenever we are in the same space, you radiate peace. It’s strange to admit but I think even only spending but moments in your presence now has done more than any and everything I have tried to achieve even a semblance of rest.” You’re not used to Essek being so open and upfront with anyone but you’re glad for it. Knowing you can confide in someone and trust them is one thing. Actually doing so, something else entirely.

“Thank you for your time and once more my sincere apologies for scaring you. I will leave you to your business once more.” Essek is about to pull his hand from yours taking a step back but you don’t let go and step with.

“When’s the last time you’ve taken a break, Shadowhand?” You’re sure you already know the answer or have enough of an idea to estimate but you ask nonetheless. Essek thinks for a moment and frowns.

“I can’t recall.”

“There’s your problem then. You’re stressed, overworked and in desperate need of a break. Come on. I have an idea.” You lightly tug at his hand pulling him along to the base of the tree and sit him down. You take one of the garden scissors and begin cutting some flowers, branches and other things and collect them in a wicker basket as Essek watches you move from planter to planter and pots making sure to leave enough behind and take only what the plants themselves allow you to take.

It might seem a little strange to some, as you’re standing there, a nonverbal conversation with plant life. Some might think you’re crazy but you only acknowledge life in all forms and while you surely could wave your hand and restore what you took, there’s beauty in the natural order of things as your Firbolg friend might agree.

Essek watches you go in awe, studying your every action with an admiration. Before, as he admitted, there had been the radiating calmness from you that could affect those around you but watching you interact, for the lack of a better word, with the greenery, gave that a whole new meaning. Serenity. You are serenity itself.

You take the wicker basket, now filled with flowers of every colour, branches of green and brown of varying lengths, set it down at the base of the tree taking a seat next to Essek.

“What’s this for?” Essek picks up a yellow flower spinning it between his fingers.

“This,” You refer to the basket and the flower held between his fingers. “is how I clear my mind when the pressure of the world becomes too much to handle.” You take a couple of the branches, check the lengths and start twisting and weaving them together adding flowers into the coil as you go.

“This is how you keep the chaos at bay?” Essek questions watching your fingers work braiding together the delicate material.

“People often assume peace is the absence of chaos but it’s not. Nor is order. If you build a dam the pressure of the water will continue building as long as the water flows. You can’t stop it. You can’t prevent it. You can however shape it in such ways you gain more from it than it from you. It can be found in the simplest of things.” You weave in some deep red roses, your pride as the Xhorassian environment is not kind enough for them to survive.

“Whenever the world comes crashing down and I wish the ground would swallow me whole I find a place to sit down and let myself be consumed by my surroundings. Sometimes I just sit doing nothing at all. Other times I draw, or sing or write, and when I’m lucky enough to find just the right place, I’ll make as many of these as it takes me to return to my peace.” You come to the end twisting the final branches to complete the final circle shape, inspecting your work and adjusting as necessary until you deem it truly completed.

“Whenever I use the chaos to create, little by little serenity comes along and I try to bring that feeling along, passing it on to those around me, because gods know, they can use it.” The both of you smile and with a last adjustment of a flower you place the flower crown on Essek’s head.

Confusion, happiness, delight, peace. All emotions running through Essek’s brain throughout this conversation enhanced the moment you place the ornament of braided and woven flowers onto his head, as light as a feather. Who knew something so small and… insignificant could mean so much, do so much?

“Why don’t you try it for yourself? See if this works for you? Or perhaps if not, it might give you inspiration to find something that will.” Essek nods taking the red crown off his head and inspecting it closer. While he certainly has an eye for intricate patterns and structures the construction of such a thing as a simple flower crown goes far beyond him and instead just leaves him completely oblivious and confused.

Seeing Essek trying to figure out the collective of braided flowers and branches might have been one of the funniest things you’ve seen from the man. The intricacies of Dunamis and the most difficult of equations or studies prove next to no problem for the wizard, but a flower crown manages to break him? How could that not be funny. You laugh even though you tried to fight it and Essek sends you a playful glare.

“Since you seem to find this so funny perhaps I should teach you the many complexities of advanced Dunamis? As a thank you of course.” You can see the hints of a smile.

“However much I’d love that, for the sake of both of our peace and sanities, I’d hold off on that for now. We’ll start with something much simpler. Like a daisy chain.” You begin pulling out a pile of white flowers and putting them next to the basket.

“This is how you start…” You begin explaining how to loop the stem of the flower around the one that came before it, the closer together, the denser the chain will become.

While Essek struggles at first, your explanation and guiding hands and pointers as he works result in a decent looking daisy chain. You slowly work your way up to more difficult flowers and eventually the branches, spending the next several hours going through the motions, Essek’s troubles long since forgotten. This may have been the first time but won’t be the last time both of you find your serenity and comfort in colourful soft petals.

[kunikiiida-kuuun]

A Promise in the Moonlight (Kunikida x Reader)

In a world that went pitch dark, I hear a voice.

Kunikida was seeing them again.

Those detectives and their bereaved families.

Rokuzo.

Sasaki.

Those little children.

That little girl who died before his eyes. Her tiny hands pulling the string, eyes full of a single, undeniable emotion; fear.

They asked him repeatedly, why didn't he save them? Why?

In the dream, he shot them down with his own hands. And then he screamed until his voice was hoarse.

He woke with a jostle; his body was sweating all over, his own breath coming out in heavy pants and blankets strewn apart. It was just a dream. Or was it? No, it was the reality. He had failed to save them. They had died, right in front of him. He had been responsible for their all their deaths. His ideal, everything- It was his own fault.

His body felt heavy and paralyzed as if he was being tied down. No, no-

His attention was drawn to a soft knock on his door.

You stood hesitantly outside the door to Kunikida's room, drawing your shrug close to you. You had heard someone scream. No, you were sure it was him.

A whole minute passes, and there is no sound or movement from his room. You wait for a few seconds more, and then sigh. Perhaps it had been your imagination, or maybe you were dreaming.  

Before you can go back to your room, the door slides open, and Kunikida's tired form is revealed in front of you. He was sweating, and his hair was in disarray. But there was an unmistakable pain in his eye. With a slight jolt, you realize he had been dreaming.

"Kunikida... I heard someone scream..." You start with uncertainty, as you didn't want to do anything that would upset him more. "Is everything oka-"

Kunikida draws you into a tight hug. His form is shaking slightly, shoulders quivering, so you pull him closer, understanding his pain.

The frightful rain that doesn’t seem to stop, stops.

You fill a glass of water and hand it to Kunikida, who sits at the dining table, lost in his thoughts. He thanks you curtly and takes a sip.

A whirlwind of thoughts swirl around in his head and every thought seems to threaten his ideals, the foundation of his life. They threaten to knock him down, and he is afraid and maybe, in the depths of his hearts, he deserves it. He deserves to be struck down because he let those innocent people suffer. How could he repent for those valuable lives?

He draws back as he feels you touch his shoulder, and he is immediately pained because he doesn't want to hurt you. He couldn't get you involved in this; you who remained untouched by any pain or misery. He was painfully aware of those worried glances you were sending his way. He doesn't want you to look at him like that. More than anything in the world, he couldn't bear to see you sad or worried because of him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you ask Kunikida softly.

He stiffens up a bit and doesn't reply. He was afraid that if he tried to speak, he would break. He doesn't want to scare you. He was a member of the Armed Detective Agency. He couldn't let himself be vulnerable like this. He had to be strong; for you, for everyone.

Besides, he couldn't let you carry his burdens. It was his alone to face.

After a few moments of silence, you speak up, "You know what you look like to me, Kunikida?"

This seems to pull him out of his thoughts, and he wonders why you were asking this out of the blue.

"A flower."

A myriad of strange expressions passes over Kunikida's face at once and you can't help but laugh. He looks at you incredulously, at how you could possibly associate a brusque, not to mention ideal man like him to a flower out of all things in the world.

"Kunikida, have you ever looked after a plant?" You smile at him innocently. Without waiting for an answer, you continue, "You need to water it sufficiently...provide it lots of sunlight...and you need to give a lot of love and patience..."

You drift off for a few moments and he looks unsure of where you were taking this conversation.

"Just like how you don't rip out it's leaves when a flower doesn't bloom according to your expectations, you can't keep punishing yourself for your failures.” He stares at you, absorbing the depth of what you said.

"It's okay to grieve. After all, tears are only water, and flowers cannot grow without water.” You give him a small smile, “But there must be sunlight too. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and feelings of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us." You steady your voice, pulling him out of the darkness of his thoughts before it absorbs him completely.

You take his hand in yours and grasp it firmly, "Until then, please let me be there for you."

I was hiding and trembling with fear, crying all alone.

But when I woke up, the sunlight that was welcoming me was,

Kunikida remains speechless, eyes clouded by the shine of his glasses. Slowly, he takes his glasses off and brings both your hands close to his face. Closing his eyes, with a soft smile on his face, he utters only two words, conveying the only thought reverberating the immense warmth in his heart.

"Thank you."

You.

You’re my sunshine.

-x

As Kunikida settles into his bed, you finally let go of his hand. You throw him a smile and adjust your shrug around your body, "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, thanks." He replies, taking a deep breath.

Just as you turn to leave, Kunikida grabs your hand, "Y/N, will you stay with me?" he requests.

You purse your lips in surprise at this. To begin with, it was one of Kunikida's ideals as specified in his notebook, that unless married, even if they are in an established relationship, man and woman cannot stay in the same room. That was the reason you stayed in the same apartment but slept in different rooms.

You are silent for way too long and Kunikida quickly changes his mind, "No, sorry just forget-"

"Okay."

He is silent as you settle down beside him. You feel your heart pound too loudly in your heart as you look into his green-grey eyes and he stares into yours. Dim moonlight streams into the room and the night is tranquil. His messy blonde locks almost appear brown and you resist the urge to immediately weave your fingers through it. 

There is a tense silence as neither of you move, while you wait for your heart to calm down.

Strangely, you found yourself feeling a little nervous, and you felt clueless about this feeling. He was your boyfriend, you remind yourself and besides, he was the man you trusted the most. As a result of your heightened nerves, you blurt out weirdly, "I-I hope I don't snore tonight."

You want to punch yourself for saying such a stupid thing. Why were you such an expert at ruining good moments? Relief washes over you as Kunikida lets out a low chuckle.

"That's fine by me, so don't worry about it at all." He entwines your hands with his. With his other hand, he tenderly tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. You feel a blush creeping up your neck at his gentleness. Kunikida may be strict and focused at work, but his affection and tender attitude towards you behind closed doors never failed to surprise you. 

But tonight it was a little different. When he asked you to stay with him, it feels like he has broken away from his standard protocol; temporarily abandoned his outer shell and let you in. And it truly made you happy, because he was finally putting himself first and allowed you to be there for him.

You squeeze his hand back in reassurance. "Tonight, I will protect Kunikida!" you say with such sudden sureness, you surprise yourself.

"Since, Kunikida is always protecting me, tonight it's my turn. I'll protect you from those bad dreams. I'll make sure they don't come back to bother you." you say in an almost comical manner. You expect him to laugh it off or ridicule you for saying such a thing. After all, the mighty Kunikida requiring protection of a powerless non-ability user as you?

But he does no such thing.

Instead he closes his eyes and brings your entwined hands to his lips and kisses your knuckles, a peaceful smile gracing his face. "I'm sure you will."

Your heart skips a beat and you find tears gathering at the corner of your eyes. At that moment, you forget everything, and your head is clouded by a single thought; a wish for only his happiness.

You wrap your arms around him, finally closing the little distance between the two of you and bury your head in his chest.

Please, make all this man's pain disappear. Let him find happiness again. You wish in your mind to any existing divine power out there.  

He strokes your head softly, running his fingers along your hair, and it is the most soothing feeling in the world, steadily lulling you to sleep. You decide that this is now your favorite place in the world; wrapped in Kunikida's arms, safe and secure. You don't know how much time has passed when you manage to get out the words.

"Promise me, Kunikida. Promise me that you will forgive yourself."

You don't know how long it took for him to reply. You are barely aware of anything, aside from the warmth from being close to him. But after what feels like an eternity, he whispers back, "I promise."

[sunseteyes]

THE SLEEPING BEAST’S BEAUTY; I. HASHIBIRA

theme/s: sleeping beauty & beauty and the beast inspired. it started with a legend of the sleeping beast, but ended with a new-found bond.

word count: 1,049 words

roze’s note: this is actually one of the very firsts that i had entitled easily and assigned to with. for me, inosuke is so much befitting batb.

“do you think the sleeping beast of the forest is true?”

your hand held onto your little brother’s tightly, squeezing it in adoration.

“maybe.” you say, shrugging with a gentle smile.

“we never know.” you sang, pulling him to your side. you glanced up at the wisteria petals that adorned the scenery above and surrounding you, almost like replacing the sky.

“they say that the beast is ugly, but i say it’s not! there's no such thing as ugly in this world."

you glance down at your brother, admiring his words and the kind look that had been plastered on his face ever since he was born.

crouching down, you held onto both of his hands and stared into his purple eyes.

"that's right, rui. that's why we should always appreciate what nature gives us, hm?" you ruffled his hair and he blushes and smiles, squeezing his eyes tight.

"yes, onee-chan!"

the scent of the forest breeze reaches your nose, making you inhale its freshness and natural way of relieving your mind and eventually, your whole body.

"is it going to rain today, nee-chan?"

you glance up at the sky, peeking from the colors of the wisterias. it was dark, surely. it had been days since the weather was off and you were starting to realize that maybe it was not such a good idea to bring yourselves out of the house.

"i think we should go back, rui." you say, instantly pulling your brother back to the path where you have been.

yet after all the running, the rain started to pour faster and harder than you've expected.

"we should stay here until the rain stops, don't you think-"

"nee-chan?"

you turn to look at your brother but he wasn't looking at you.

rather, he was facing somewhere from behind him.

a growl catches your ears and your arms immediately latched onto your brother's waist, pulling him with you as you backed away from the darkness up ahead.

"who's there?" you questioned, panicking from the inside.

but you have to be tough. you cannot let your brother see that you’re afraid—even if you truly were.

“i should be the one asking you.” the tiny snicker by the end gave a tension by your jaw, embracing your brother further as you narrowed your eyes to try and see what was in the dark.

but you have no idea if it was a human or not.

“who... who are you?”

“me?” the voice perks a bit, a tinge of interest by just simply asking.

“don’t you know who i am?” a shadow suddenly emerges and the question in your mind from earlier was answered once you have gazed upon the figure.

“i am the king of this forest! you humans should fear me." you saw its grin, yet instead of trembling, your reactions were interrupted by your own brother's.

"you're the sleeping beast?!" he perks in your hold, as if trying to get away to go to the beast.

"that's right! i'm the beast!" its face came into view from the faint light but as you saw it—

"huh? you're... you're the beast?" the tone in your brother's voice changed and he sooner developed giggles. and to be honest, you too would have done the same if only you hadn't kept your guard down.

"but... why do you look... why do you look like a human?" your brother inquired with a lightheaded voice.

"what did you say?"

"shhh, rui!" you say, trying to shush your brother before he can further insult the so-called "beast of the forest".

"what did you just-"

"wait, wait, wait!" you raised a hand up in order to stop the beast from getting near you and rui. and you were glad that it did stop.

because you can't really take him seriously with a face like that!

"are you... are you really the beast of the forest?" you ask with a much calmer tone than how your brother voiced out. it seemed to have not displeased the other for he wasn't agitated with your question.

more like... he was finding it interesting.

"that's right! i am insuke hashibira, the king of this forest!" the way he said it was like when rui showed you his first ever drawing, or when he gave you the flowers he picked up himself.

"you shall be my new minions! oh wait, where are my other minions?" inosuke mutters to himself. for some reason, you couldn't simply see him as the "beast" he claims to be.

it was the same for your brother.

"how come you're the beast? shouldn't you be asleep?" rui speaks up again, "and i heard that the sleeping beast will only wake up when it's been kissed by his true love!"

"what? true lab? what is that?"

"rui, rui, that's just a legend." you whisper to your brother before smiling awkwardly at the "beast". "don't mind what my brother says. and oh, look! the rain stopped!"

you pulled your brother with you as you stepped out of the cave you had sheltered in and stood up straight, slightly feeling numb with how you carried rui on your leg earlier.

"wait, wait, where are you going?" inosuke's tone didn't make you feel threated but somehow, you felt a thug that gave you an idea that maybe shouldn't have gave a thought about.

"hashibira-san, are you all alone here?" you look over at the boy, seemingly the same age as you.

he gave this look that supplied the answer to your question and you offered your free hand, the other grasping rui's immediately.

"do you want to eat a meal with us? i'm sure you're hungry."

you were a hair-line close to expecting he would deny.

but for some reason, as you were about to turn away, a warmth encloses your hand, making you turn and cast a glance at the owner of the hand, his eyes shining with a beaty and determination that you could liken to your brother, like a fire not backing down from water.

"what are you doing? you're my minion, you have to stay with me!"

you chuckled, the one that you had been holding out. grinning at him in adoration, you raised your entwined hands, squeezing both his and rui's.

"okay, then, inosuke-sama."

[tentoriwrites]

Cider and Honey

Rating: General Audiences          Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV

Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light

Characters: Haurchefant Greystone, Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)

Language: English           Words:1748          Song:  "Broken Heart of Gold (acoustic)" One Ok Rock

Summary: Haurchefant comforts the Warrior of Light in their hour of need in a sweet way. Non-gendered Warrior of Light.

Author’s note:  TIL the Japanese version of Haurchefant is completely different than the English version. So I'm going to make two versions of the same scenario. This version, the sweet version, features English Haurchefant.

The last few dying embers of a once roaring fire now simmered in the fireplace. They gave off very little warmth and even less light. Morning would not come for some time and even when it did, it would not offer comfort. No, the sun would only serve to cast harsh light on the reality of the situation the hero of Eorzea now found themselves in. Even the moon seemed unwilling to cast its glow upon the suffering hero.

There they sat on one of the softest and plushest couches they ever felt. Only in Sultana’s bedchamber had the furniture felt so luxurious. And so, it had only served to remind them of their failure. To her and to everyone else. That is what led them to sitting in the middle of a couch, in their bedclothes with their knees to their chest, face buried in their knees. A desperate bid to stave off the metaphorical darkness that threatened to consume them.

Everyone liked to think the Warrior of Light was made of stronger stuff than mortal men. But the truth of the matter was they were made strong because of their friends and comrades. Tempered like steel by their desire to protect the ones they held precious. Bereft of the thing that gave them strength, the weight of the world pushed them closer and closer to the watery surface of despair. They knew. They knew if their head should ever go under, it would be the end of everything. So, they persisted in treading those waters, as best they could, alone in the darkness.

Light steps on the polished marble floors spoke to someone or something stirring elsewhere in the manor. A quiet gasp pulled the Warrior of Light’s face up slightly, but they saw no one through their vision blurred with barely constrained tears. So, they dug their fingers into the flesh of their leg to take their mind off the tears that threatened to spill free and buried their face in their knees again.

A dull thud on the table beside them pulled the hero from their stupor once more. A tray with a steaming cup of beverage and a vial of white-ish liquid caught their attention. They slowly and absently looked around but felt a warm weight on their back before they found a person. They followed the person with their eyes as the shadow moved from the back of the couch to the fireplace. They threw a pair of logs on the embers and blew gently for several long moments until a small fire kindled once more. The warrior didn’t need to see a face to know who their nursemaid was.

“Haurchefant…” The name was barely more than a hoarse whisper, giving away everything they had hoped to hide.

The Elezen jumped as if startled and quickly spun around. He looked one part relieved, one part deeply apologetic.

“Pray excuse the intrusion, I did not mean to wake you. It would not do for the reputation of the Fortemps name if the Warrior of Light caught cold while under our stewardship.” Haurchefant whispered as he gave a slight bow.

“I wasn’t asleep.” The hero unfolded slightly and wrapped themselves in the blanket.

“Then pray excuse my presumptuousness but I suspected that might be the case.” He reached out and picked up the vial on the tray. He gently pressed it into the warrior’s hand. “A weak sleeping potion.” He gestured to the mug on the tray. “Mulled cider. Mulled wine is a more traditional Ishgardian drink, but I have found it does not do as well washing down medicine.” His characteristic enthusiastic smile graced his face.

“Thank you. You have done too much for me already.” Their voice was nothing short of despondent.

“And yet…” Haurchefant sat down at the end of the couch looking rather melancholy. “I feel as if you ask not enough of me.”

“How could I possibly? If not for you, we would have nowhere to go…” The hero turned part way so they could look at Haurchefant better.

Though the Warrior of Light was quick to say so, Haurchefant was just as quick to shake his head in protest.

“I have done nothing more than any self-respecting knight would have.” Haurchefant took on a far-off look as he stared at the fire. “Though some of Ishgard’s citizens would argue otherwise I have a very firm belief of what it means to be a knight. To protect those who cannot protect themselves. To fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. To save those who cannot save themselves. There is no greater honor for a knight.” His eyes came into focus again as they leveled on the warrior. “In truth… I will forever be in your debt.”

“How? For Francel? I would have saved him anyways. He was suffering because of a great injustice!”

Haurchefant pressed a finger to the hero’s lips in part to remind them it was late and to be quiet, but also to make them stop talking altogether. “Though I may have been sequestered at an outpost in the middle of nowhere, I am neither blind nor ignorant.” His finger hovered over long before slowly sliding down to take one of the hero’s hand in his. His gaze followed that finger, lingering where it lingered until it settled on their entwined fingers.

“As you so ungentlely learned from Ser Aymeric in your first meeting, many of my brothers and sisters see the Dravanians as the only threat to Ishgard. All others are relegated to other nations or a distant future they imagine will never come. But… I…” His gaze drifted up to meet the hero’s again. “I understand your defeat of the primals was vital to the salvation of all of us.”

His free hand came up to take the warrior’s chin. “You have saved my life more times than I even know. Pray, let me save yours this night. Not as a knight, but as Haurchefant. As the man who treasures you more deeply than even you know.”

Wide eyes and flushed cheeks greeted Haurchefant’s words. The warrior tried to look away but their eyes could find nothing else to look at but him.

“Whatever it is you need, whatever would have me do to ease the burdens on your shoulders, speak it and I shall do everything in my power to make it so.”

“I…” They took a deep breath and closed their eyes moment so as to compose themselves. To find any words at all to offer under the intensity of his earnest gaze. “Stay with me for tonight, please.” They slowly opened their eyes.

Haurchefant had nothing but a warm smile on his face. “I have one condition. You must rest. If you think yourself incapable on your own then do take the medicine I brought.” He freed his hand from your grasp and pulled the warrior’s hand up, still holding the elixir.

“All right.”

The acquiescence seemed to fill Haurchefant with a great measure of relief. After watching the warrior down the whole bottle and place it back on the tray he took a corner of the large blanket to wrap around himself. Then he wrapped the warrior up in the rest of the blanket.

“Come rest your head on my legs.” He patted his thigh gently.

If they had not been so sleep addled by the potion, the Warrior of Light would have been a bit embarrassed. Their current state found them taking his offer readily. They curled up on themselves and made themselves comfortable by laying across his whole lap. Their face nuzzled into his stomach and they breathed deep of the scent of the fresh linen material of his bedclothes and his skin. As if out of instinct they grasped one of his hands and hugged it for dear life. This earned them a quiet chuckle from the Elezen. He carded the fingers of his free hand through their hair slowly.

“Though I would much rather see you smile, if you must cry then pray let me always be there to wipe your tears away. Would promise me that?”

“I… I will only ever cry… with you… Haur…che…fant…”

“I just don’t understand where they both could have gone without anyone noticing!” Emmanellain’s boisterous voice seemed to echo off the walls. “Was the Warrior of Light not pledged to help us with our duties?”

“You are hardly one to speak of completing one’s duties…” Artoirel retorted quickly.

The brothers and Honoroit rounded the corner and found one of the parlor doors opened. “It would seem our honored guest is waiting for us.” Honoroit suggested as the made to enter the foyer.

Instead of seeing a dressed and ready Warrior of Light and Haurchefant waiting for them, they found the pair on the couch in a similar position they fell asleep in. Though now the warrior was hugging Haurchefant’s waist, his hand was still resting in their hair.

Artoirel quickly grabbed Emmanellain and Honoroit by the shoulders and yanked them out of the doorway.

“Haurchefant! That sly dog…” Emmanellain sounded put off by the sight he just beheld.

“If you were not possessed of such profound ignorance, you would have clearly realized from the way Haurchefant spoke they shared a unique relationship!” Artoirel hissed between his teeth as he shoved the younger men down the hall.

“By Halone, what is going on?” Count Edmont looked bewildered as the trio haphazardly fumbled down the hall.

“I suggest you do not take any visitors in the parlor this morning, Father.” Artoirel offered no other explanation.

“Haurchefant! I thought you said that was a weak sleeping elixir! Wake up! We overslept! I’m supposed to go with one of your brothers today!”

The sound of clamoring from the parlor preluded a pair of thunderous steps changing in tone to match the various flooring types. Suddenly, the Warrior of Light came scampering out of the parlor followed by Haurchefant. The warrior stepped on the edge of the blanket and proceeded to slide into the wall face first. They then fell backwards on to Haurchefant sending them both to the floor in tangle of limbs and blanket.

Count Edmont pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “I trust you would like naught to be said of this?”

“Yes, please.” The Warrior of Light answered rather sheepishly.

“Then we shan’t speak of it again. Do ready yourselves for the day quickly.”

[bokutosvoid]

the moon and all its stars | a.k

Pairing - stableboy!Akaashi x royalty!reader (gender neutral)

(A/N; I really like how this turned out and I want to do more parts to this. @dekushandscars ur welcome)

Genre; fantasy! AU and fluff

word count; 1.2k

The stars twinkled overhead that night, wrapped in this tranquil air swept up through the instruments of the royal band playing in the ballroom behind you that stayed buzzing with voices and the elegant clinking of champagne glasses even after the departure of you. although you didn't mind, as this calm night was a company you would welcome greatly over the room filled with people you weren’t quite familiar with. For now, the moonflower vines and midnight air were granting you more fascination than suitors who offered a dance.

The attire you wore, adorned with gold lace and dainty flowers glistened under the moonlight that trickled from above, placing gentle kisses along your collarbones and soft lips as your mind wandered to the stolen kiss you had shared a few nights ago. Hidden under the old willow tree, the encounter you had shared with him in tender darkness, now stays a treasured memory of the gentle brush of his lips on your own. His delicate hands holding yours as he looked at you with such adoration, a look you only read about in stories of true love and flourishing passion.

Now, you hoped to find the same feeling he had given you among the stars; the feeling that you couldn't exactly explain quite right. He made you feel like the sky. He made you feel like all the universes and galaxies and gladiators in constellations. He made you feel like dawn; the soft break of morning's first light that offers this overwhelming sense of normalcy in a world where all eyes are on you. He gifted you morning twilight wrapped with silver string and blue ribbons. He made you feel like dusk; like swirls of beautiful shades of carmine, apricot and cream. God, he made you feel like the sky.

You knew he wasn't far, but somewhere you didn't know and that was why you searched the pale moonlight for him. Amongst the garden below, filled with roses and forget-me-notts that were coloured grey due to the absence of the sun, you let out a deep breath as the angelic symphony flooded through the doors.

“They are serving cake inside,” a males voice broke the trance you were in. You turned swiftly from the sudden familiar voice. You only looked at him, a small, faint smile coming across your face “Akaashi” you breathed out as you took him in. He looked just as beautiful as he did that night.

You turned back to look over the balcony, shaking your head. “you shouldn’t be here, you could get in trouble” you spoke, trying to make your voice firm. He was a stable boy, and you were royalty. No matter what either of you wanted, there would always be a social gap locking you apart.

“But I had to see you again...ever since that night I...couldn't stop thinking about you. I waited to see you at dinner, but you hadn’t arrived” he stepped closer, standing behind you as you looked at the stars, although the stars were beautiful, your mind couldn't be disfixed from his voice, the voice you wish the heavens to hear once more. “Tell me you haven’t thought about the next time we would meet” his voice was small, whispering as if to show he only wanted you to hear his voice.

A slight, sharp gasp escapes you at his forwardness. After a few silent moments, you speak up. “I...cannot deny that i have”

Akaashi lets out a heavy sigh of relief. “I am very pleased to hear that,” he chuckles, looking down to his feet in order to hide a dust of blush across his cheeks. You couldn’t bear to not face him any longer. You turn as his gaze remains on his shoes. Cheeks aflush as his eyes meet yours once more. He smiled, adoration and love carved into his teeth. He admired every curve of your beautiful face carefully as if you were an angel, a being so humanly euphoric, like an ethereal anomaly that he was brought back to by the heavens.

“You waited at dinner for me?” you asks, a smirk glazing your lips. Akaashi ‘s cheeks burned a darker shade of scarlet now, scratching the back of his neck and clearing his throat softly before speaking once more. “Well...yes, I did.” he nodded. Without another word, you stepped forward, stood on your tip-toes and moved closer to press a gentle kiss on his warm cheek, placing your hands on his broad chest. You pulled away after a short moment.

“Thank you, Akaashi...although I must return, the maids will come find me sooner or later” you gave a departing smile, walking past him. Only a few short steps towards the completely lit-up interior of the castle, you felt a hand catch your own. “Wait!” Akaashi blurted, rushed and eager. “Before you go…” he pulled you closer. “May i kiss you again? So for the time we are apart, I will have this memory of you” he asked, cupping your cheeks in his hands while he stared lovingly into your eyes.

You nodded, unable to effectively process your thoughts enough to form an answer that wasn't a jumbled mess. But you wanted him to kiss you, down to your very core, you wanted him to. His smile widened, pulling your face towards his slowly. Before your lips merely brushed, you could feel these sparks of electricity run through your fingertips and up your spine, zinging over your whole body through this simple gesture. Akaashi’s lips were soft, warm in contrast to the crisp night air that hung loosely above your heads. You wished this moment to last forever, to stay here with him on this cold balcony, blanketed within the comfort of the vines that had grown astray over time, tangling you together with him so as to keep your souls delicately entwined because the stars above know.

After your lips were apart once more, there was this longing that remained, one that you were curtain would stay, lined with silver along your lips until the time you would lie in darkness later this evening, and all was quiet through the castle. “When shall i expect to see you again?” you asked, happiness heavy on your tongue. Loud voices from within the ballroom, causing Akaashi to look over his shoulder briefly, then back to you a few seconds later. “Well that I do not know, for now...i can only hope that the stars will bring us together once more...be it under moonlight or in a mere dream, my only wish is to be there with you.”

A warmth creeped itself onto your cheeks, a squish to your heart followed close behind. You could hear the conversations from inside become noisier, fear of being caught brought you your last glance of him. “Don't make me wait too long,” you laughed softly. Akaashi shook his head through a smile, stepping away to bow. He brought your hand towards his lips and placed a gentle kiss upon it.  

“Until we see each other again, m’lady” he gave a final heartwarming smile before walking down the balcony, until all that was left of him was a dark shadow. You turned back to face the sky, the feeling of him on your lips still as vibrant in your mind as it was the second he kissed you.

You smiled, thanking the moon and all its stars for the stable boy you had met under the old willow tree who was named Akaashi Keiji.

[politicalmamaduck]

old gods still walk in these thickets

Written for midwinterspring! Their prompts were: "an intricate ritual", "old gods still walk in these thickets" (based on this Dappermouth art piece) and/or "incunabula" (the beginning of something).

Read it on AO3 here.

Alina walked, and walked. How far she walked, she could not say. Nothing around her changed; the sky was grey, and mist and fog trailed her steps. She saw and heard no one or nothing besides herself. 

Still, she continued to walk, her long black cloak brushing against the ground. She would not allow herself to become nervous. 

She had come so far, farther than she ever would have dared not so long ago. Or perhaps it was so long ago. Time seemed to move differently for her, now. 

She rubbed her palm as she walked, as if the scar he now bore were her own. The wounds they bore each other were now nothing more than that--scars they both shared, between body, mind, and soul. 

Old gods still walk in these thickets, he told her. Alina possessed no conception of those who were worshipped before the Saints. They too were before Aleksander’s time, but there were still echoes of them resonating from the Making at the Heart of the World. 

Their world was still broken and needed to be healed. It would be an intricate ritual, ancient and incomprehensible, but it was a price Alina was willing to pay. 

No more innocents would die for their Grisha blood.

She felt Morozova’s stag glowing within her, as if encouraging her onward, guiding her true north, even though she walked south, deep into the Sikurzoi. 

Finally, the scenery changed, and the mountains loomed ahead. She continued to climb higher still, despite the temperature falling. She was grateful for her heavy cloak and its fur collar. Despite walking for what must have been hours past Dva Stolba, past Keramzin, Alina felt neither tired nor hungry. She was sustained by something else, a primeval power living inside her. 

She would not allow herself to wish that Aleksander walked beside her. She could not betray her own heart by thinking the sentiment. This, she would do alone. She would not sacrifice him or his love, though she knew he would see it as a betrayal when she left him alone in Os Alta. 

Better to betray him once again than to betray her own heart. 

She would not think about the way his body entwined with hers the night prior, the way the sheets tangled around their legs in the night, the warmth of him curled around her. 

She pressed a gentle kiss to his head this morning, then pulled the blankets up, memorizing the way his chest rose and fell with his breathing. He looked so peaceful asleep, at ease. She would not break the spell of the moment by saying goodbye. 

The Darkling kept the best horses in Ravka, but even they would not have been enough to catch her by the time he learned what she had done. 

Alina approached the firebird, that most ancient and majestic of beings. The firebird reared before her, spreading her wings for flight, and nearly knocked Alina off her feet. Despite the grey mist in the mountains, her wings reflected gold in their red feathers, a striking contrast to the dull earth tones surrounding them.

Unlike the first time they met, this time the firebird knew Alina was not there to claim her as an amplifier, and soon quieted.  Alina knelt before her majesty, bowed her head, displaying the reverence she should have as a younger woman. 

“I need your help,” she said, knowing somehow that the firebird would understand her. 

…

The thickets burned so easily. The blaze of the sacred flames was hotter than anything Alina had ever experienced, but she did not dare remove her cloak. It protected her skin, still so vulnerable despite her power. 

Ancient magic, she thought. Not merzost. Not the Small Science. 

She circled the fire and recited words in a language no longer spoken, uncertain if she were pronouncing them correctly, but feeling them sit right on her tongue. 

She would not allow herself to be distracted by thinking of her tongue in Aleksander’s mouth, his tongue inside her the night before.

The firebird flapped her wings and blew the flames even hotter. Alina knelt and waited. 

Eventually, the firebird approached her and brushed a wing over her back. Alina removed a feather from her hair, the firebird’s gift for the ritual. Removing a piece of thorn wood from her pocket, she pressed into her palm, smeared her blood on the thorn and the feather. She cast them into the flames, wondering if it would become her own funeral pyre. 

She waited. 

Eventually, a shape emerged from the mist in the mountains and stepped through the flames. Alina knew better than to meet its eyes without permission. 

“You have come a long way, Alina Starkov,” the old god said. The voice was ancient, powerful, terrible, somehow sounding like all people and none at all. She supposed such human concerns as gender did not matter to a being behind the Making at the Heart of the World. 

“I come to bargain,” she said. “If you will listen.” She kept her eyes trained on the ground. Next to her, the firebird shrieked. 

“What could you possibly have to offer me, Alina Starkov?” 

Alina knew the being would ask the question. She spoke with practiced words. 

“I have much to offer,” she replied. “I have to offer myself, a living Saint, a holy sacrifice at your altar.” She gestured to the fire. “You may claim my life or use my body for your own, should you wish to walk among mortals once again. I have to offer worship, a remembrance of who and what you once were, altars throughout Ravka, eternal flames dedicated to your memory. I have to offer treasure, riches, the fruit of the earth and the product of human ingenuity. I have to offer my immortal soul,” she added, the most precious thing she had to offer according to the church. Though the words hurt her, she continued. “You may claim my Grisha power or the immortality it grants me, should you find those useful.” She swallowed. Before she could continue, the being--god--spoke once more. 

“Do you think you are the first to offer me such things?”

“No,” she replied. “If I was, there would not have been a way to find you, a way for me to conduct this ritual.” 

She still did not look fully up, but she could see that the being leaned the shape of its head back and laughed. 

“Why do you care to bargain, Alina Starkov? Why not live your immortal life with all that power flowing through your veins? Why disturb the Making at the Heart of the World?”

“Because I can’t save them all,” she replied, her voice breaking, her eyes filling with tears. “I cannot live for eternity knowing I could have done more to protect my people.”

Too many Grisha, dead at the Fjerdan border. Too many Ravkan children, dead in their beds.

Aleksander tried for centuries, and still failed. The Fold was healed, Ravka became whole once more, but still, their people suffered. If the Fold were born of his anger and pain, using merzost, and her love allowed it to be healed, perhaps whatever Alina did here would be born of love and sacrifice, instead.

She had to try.

The old god laughed once more. 

“Incunabula,” they said. “Let this be the beginning of something, Alina Starkov. Do you believe that you were born into this world to suffer and die, as the Apparat teaches?”

“No,” she replied. “If I did, would I be here?”

“Indeed,” the being said. “As I thought. Pain will still be a part of life, and the world may be cruel, but the Making at the Heart of the World was never intended to be so.”

Alina nodded, still not looking up. 

“I will take a shape more comfortable for you,” the god said. 

Before her eyes, the shadowy outline of a human body against the flames became a great boar, like Morozova’s stag. It pawed the ground, and she looked up into its depthless eyes, white and unblinking against the blackest of night fur. 

Next to her, the firebird cawed and flapped her wings once more. 

“I cannot control the free will of humans. None of us can. Your pain, devastation, endless war result from these.”

“I know,” Alina replied. “But is there nothing you can do to help? Can you not sway the heart of the Fjerdan king or the Shu queen?” 

“You are stubborn, Alina Starkov,” the old god said. “Did you consider that perhaps I would be unable to help, rather than unwilling to bargain?”

She had not allowed herself to consider that possibility. She swallowed and tried a different tactic. 

“If you cannot help me save my people from needless death and destruction, what can you do? What did you do when you were worshipped?”

The old god paused: considering, remembering. The flames crackled behind it. Its boar form pawed the ground once more. 

“Perhaps there is something I can do for you, Alina Starkov. I will do this. I will grant you a boon.”

“You will?” she dared ask. Still wary, before the old god could answer or change its mind, she continued “And what form shall your boon take?”

Still in its boar form, it snorted, which Alina took for a laugh. “Wise and wary beyond your years as well as stubborn, I see. Very well, Alina Starkov. While I cannot change humanity’s hearts, or protect them unto a natural death, I can do this. I can grant you the strength and bravery of my boar form, that you may face your eternity knowing that you can and will survive it and all its losses. You will have this strength for all the days ahead, the courage to continue fighting, the bravery to look death in its face and know that you are not alone, that you will mark your losses on your heart but survive them.”

Alina nodded, and stood. She steeled her spine, ready to face whatever laid ahead for her. The boar’s strength would bear her alongside her own inner strength. “I thank you,” she replied. “I am grateful for your boon. I release you back into the Making at the Heart of the World, Boar God.” She was uncertain what else to call it. 

“Use my strength well, Alina Starkov,” it said. “May we meet again, at the Making at the Heart of the World.” The boar shape dissipated into shadows and stars and spun back into the fire, trailing smoke and shadow. 

The firebird flew into the flames, soaking them up as if an ordinary bird in a bath outside a wealthy merchant’s home. 

“Thank you,” she said to the firebird, who squawked her agreement. 

Alina turned and began her descent down the mountain. 

…

Alina was unsurprised to find that she did not, in fact, have to obtain horses in Dva Stolba to ride all the way back to Os Alta. She was uncertain if days or hours had passed while she bargained with the old god, but regardless, her husband had followed her. 

She found him in the market, her body stiff from the heat, kneeling, walking. 

“Alina,” he said, the desperation and relief evident in his voice and the way he swept her into his arms despite the fact that there were others around to witness. 

“I thought--” he started, and she shook her head. 

“It didn’t work,” she said. “We have to try something else.”

He nodded, put his arm around her back, and led her to the finest room the inns in the valley had to offer. 

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” he said, after kissing her as if his life depended upon it. 

“I had to try,” she answered, his fingers tracing her lips. 

“We will find a way,” he replied, his eyes darkening. “Together.” Even if Alina wanted to discuss it further, she could not, for he claimed her mouth with his own and her thoughts were claimed by the feeling of his body against hers, the sensations he was creating as he kissed her, caressed her, undressed her.

She was cold without her clothing, still adjusting from facing a sacred blaze for so long, but her husband made her warm once more. She became the blaze, her wet center radiating heat outwards. He worked his way down from her lips, kissing every inch of her, letting his fingers trail his lips, causing breathy sighs and moans to escape her lips. 

She found herself guided backwards to the bed, their clothes scattered all over the floor, her fingers in his hair. 

Once she was settled amongst the pillows, he murmured, “I love you, Alina,” before his hands gripped her hips and his tongue delved inside her, leaving her unable to properly respond save a heady moan. 

She supposed he took it as response enough as he drank his fill of her, leaving her breathless and tingling all over until he added a finger and she cried out, desperate for more, desperate for release, desperate for him. 

He continued to caress her with his tongue until she was trembling with pleasure and his beard was soaked. Only then did he scoop her into his arms, holding her to him as if he would never let her go, and then entered her. 

She was filled with him, simultaneously sated with pleasure and dying for more. 

“I love you, Aleksander,” she managed to breathe, moving her hips in sync with his. She traced a finger down his cheek and smiled, meeting his dark eyes and falling in love with him all over again as he smiled too. 

They kissed and caressed and held each other all night. In the darkness, before the haze of early morning light, Alina listened to her husband’s breathing, his heartbeat, and thought that perhaps the old god’s blessing had been for them both.