#i cannot truly express how thankful i am for all of you

[starlostseungmin]

please forgive me to the person i’ve become when you read this feedback.

these are the visual representation of me while reading the whole story 🤧

I DARE YOU.

Felix x reader. (s)

Synopsis: The shy you meet the charming stranger, Felix, through a dare that leads you both into a whirlwind of a night filled with new, unexpected things. (17,6k words)

Author's note: It’s a late bday fic for Felix. I had soooooo much fun writing the smut in this one and I rarely said that so I hope you had fun too reading it x

Not this—being in a loud, dark club with Rex and her friends, a group of people you barely know, and the alcohol in your glass isn't any less foreign, a poor substitute for your usual chamomile tea.

A typical Friday night for you usually means snuggling on the sofa with your favorite blanket, a book in hand, and a cup of tea.

The music is thumping, the strobing lights flickering incessantly, and the sheer chaos of it all overwhelms your senses. It's overstimulating, like stepping into a world where you don't quite belong.

But here you are, trying to push past your comfort zone for one night, specifically for your best friend, Rex. You make the exception because it's her birthday.

You've known Rex since high school, and to this second, you're still not entirely sure how you two became best friends.

Rex is everything you aren’t—fierce, vibrant, and unapologetically confident—while you are introverted, shy, and awkward. Yet somehow, in that contrast, you found something that clicked. Maybe it's the way she effortlessly pulls you out of your shell or the way she always has your back without needing to say much.

For almost eight years now, this unlikely bond has stood the test of time, bridging the gap between your quiet, dull world and her wild, colorful one.

However, at times, the stark contrast between you and Rex pushes you to the edge. She thrives on excitement, constantly seeking new experiences, while you cling to routine. You like the comfort of predictability—having the same breakfast every day, enjoying the calm of your familiar surroundings. Rex, on the other hand, is always nudging you, sometimes even shoving you, to break free from that comfort zone. She wants you to explore, to live a little, and while you appreciate her intentions, it can feel overwhelming. She never seems to understand that trying new, exciting things isn’t natural for you the way it is for her.

Just like tonight. Rex has convinced everyone to play Never Have I Ever, and it quickly becomes apparent how out of place you are.

Every statement, every confession, is about wild, reckless things—everything you’ve never done. With each round, your glass remains untouched while everyone else takes shots, laughing as they reveal their mischievous pasts.

By the time the group is tipsy and lightheaded from confessing their wild and naughty escapades, you are still as sober as ever, quietly sitting there, feeling even more like a fish out of water.

Rex eventually notices your lack of participation. She puts down her glass and says, “Alright, this is getting boring. Let’s change the game!”

You notice her eyes flicking to you, and you feel your heart sink. “But I’m having fun,” you assure her, forcing an awkward laugh.

Your words are not entirely false. It isn’t like you aren’t having fun—it just isn’t your kind of fun.

Rex smirks, knowing you too well. She can see through your calm façade. “Sure you are. Alright, Never Have I Ever cheated on a test?"

Everyone else laughs, raising their glasses to take a shot, but your glass stays put.

“Guys, you shouldn’t cheat on...” your words trail off as you notice the looks they give you.

“See?” Rex says, turning back to you. “It’s not fun if you’re not participating.”

You scoff, but you can't really argue. It's true. The game isn’t exactly designed for someone like you.

“I’m still having fun,” you insist with a faint smile, but even you can hear how fake that sounds.

Rex lets out a sigh and scoots closer to you. “It’s my birthday, and I want my best friend to have fun on my birthday.”

One of her friends groans, putting her glass down with an exaggerated eye roll. “Whatever, I’m hitting the dance floor.” She slides out of the booth, and the rest follow, leaving you and Rex alone.

Maybe Rex’s birthday has become a bit boring because of you, but you told her before that you would’ve preferred a small gathering at your apartment, maybe just the two of you.

“I’m sorry I’m ruining your birthday,” you mumble, feeling guilty for being a party pooper and aware that it's unfair to her.

However, Rex’s attention has already drifted elsewhere—on someone, to be exact. She turns her head back at you with her eyes twinkling with mischief.

“He’s been checking you out,” she whispers against the loud music.

You snort and shake your head in disbelief, glancing in the direction she subtly nods toward, checking if she's telling the truth.

Across the room, a guy with bleached blond hair and tattooed hands sits casually, dressed in a leather jacket. His fair skin and delicate features are striking, but you can’t help but laugh to yourself. There is no way he is checking you out—not when Rex, your stunning, lively best friend, is sitting right next to you.

Before you can argue, Rex turns your head toward him. Your eyes lock with his instantly, and your heart skips a beat. You tell yourself it's just the loud, thumping music making your chest pound like that. He smiles faintly at you, and you quickly look away, feeling heat rise in your cheeks.

“Okay, new game!” Rex suddenly announces, clapping her hands.

You blink in shock. “Wait, what?”

“Don’t worry, it’s just between you and me,” Rex says with a mischievous grin, taking a second to sip her drink.

You raise an eyebrow, wary of what she has in mind. “Okay...?” you respond nervously.

“Truth or dare,” Rex finally reveals, her eyes gleaming with trouble. “But here’s the twist—there’s no truth.”

“Rex, I don’t—” you begin, but she cuts you off by covering your mouth with her hand.

“It’s my birthday,” she says, her voice low yet commanding. “You’re obliged to do whatever I ask.”

You sigh, nodding reluctantly. Rex removes her hand and holds yours instead, her fingers cool and reassuring despite her devious smile.

“My dear best friend,” she says, that mischievous grin lingering on her red-painted lips, “I dare you to kiss that guy.”

Your eyes follow her finger, and it's pointing at the bleached blond guy with the tattooed hands across the room.

“What? No way!” You blurt out, eyes widening in shock.

“Come on! It’s just a kiss. You can do it," Rex says casually, showing how different the two of you view this dare. She then squeezes your hand and adds, "Besides, he’s been staring at you all night.”

Your heart pounds, not from the music but from the sheer terror of Rex’s dare. Kiss a stranger? In a club? You aren’t Rex—confident and fearless. You’re the girl who barely participated in Never Have I Ever because the wildest thing you’ve ever done is stay up late to study for finals.

“But I… I don’t know him,” you stammer, your palms getting sweaty on your lap.

“That’s the point of the game!" Rex says lightly. "And it’s not like he hasn’t noticed you. He smiled, didn’t he?”

The idea terrifies you, but there is also a small part of you—buried deep under all the shyness and caution—that is curious. What if you step out of your comfort zone for once? What if you do something wild, something you’d never do on your own?

As if she hears your thoughts, Rex leans closer and softly says, “You’ve spent your whole life playing it safe. It’s just one kiss. What’s the worst that could happen?”

You glance back toward the guy. He’s still sitting there, calm and collected, his long bleached-blonde hair falling effortlessly around his face. He hasn’t looked away since your brief, flustered glance earlier. Instead, he seems… unfazed, but there’s something curious in his eyes, like he’s still watching, waiting.

“I can’t,” you mutter again, shaking your head, feeling that familiar wave of discomfort rise in your chest.

Rex leans in closer, holding your hand gently. “Look, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to have fun for once, not think about everything so much. You trust me, right?”

Of course you trust her. Rex has been by your side for eight years, through thick and thin. As wild as she is, she always has your back, no matter what.

The logical part of your brain screams at you to refuse, to stay in your lane. But there’s another voice, quieter but growing louder with each passing second, telling you to just do it, to be bold, even if just for one night.

You inhale deeply, your hand still in hers, and with a shaky voice, you say, “Fine. But if I make a fool of myself, I'll kill you and leave your body in a ditch.”

Rex bursts out laughing, not finding your words threatening at all. “Deal! Now go get him, tiger!” she says, giving you a playful slap on the butt.

“I can’t believe I’m about to do this,” you mutter under your breath, standing up on legs already turning to jelly.

You look over your shoulder and find Rex grinning, clearly delighted. As encouragement, she gives you a nudge in the guy's direction.

As you walk toward him, each step feels surreal, heavier than the last. It doesn’t take long before the guy notices you, and to your surprise, his faint smile grows.

When you finally stop in front of him, you don’t know what to say. Your throat tightens, and for a moment, you regret even considering the dare. But despite everything, you hear your own voice ask, “Do you mind if I kiss you?”

There's no turning back now, and it’s not like he's the type to say no, not with the way he's looking at you—intrigued. And despite the panic in your chest, there’s something thrilling about the way he watches you.

He looks at you with a mix of surprise and amusement, then his smile turns soft. “How could I say no to that?” he says, his voice surprisingly low and deep.

Not giving yourself time to overthink, you close the gap between you and him, leaning in as he does the same until your lips and his meet in the middle.

The kiss isn’t wild or reckless like you imagined it would be. It’s gentle, slow, and—much to your surprise—perfectly in tune with the moment. It feels like the first time you’ve ever kissed anyone, full of nerves, fluttering excitement, and the kind of tenderness you hadn’t expected from a stranger.

When you pull back, your hand flies to your lips, barely believing you’ve just done that. Your heart is still racing, but this time, it isn’t just from fear. You feel the thrill and rush of stepping out of your comfort zone, and you think... maybe you can push yourself a little more, just a little bit.

Absentmindedly, you open your mouth and ask, “Do you want to get out of here?”

-

It's a typical Friday night for Felix—hanging at the club with his friends, having a few drinks, casually watching the scene. The same kind of night he's had countless times. His eyes wander across the room, drifting from one group of people to another, and then… he sees you.

You're completely out of place, dressed in something someone would wear to church on Sunday, your glasses slightly sliding down your nose, sitting with your hands clasped tightly in your lap. The glass you're holding? He's pretty sure it's just an accessory for your idle hand. Then he observes the people you're with—they're clearly here to let loose and have fun, his usual type—the kind of girls who are bold and uninhibited. But you? You're different, and that’s what intrigues him.

Felix isn’t being judgmental. He knows everyone needs to blow off some steam once in a while, but there's something about seeing you in this environment that captivates him. You don’t belong here, not really, and yet here you are. The juxtaposition of your quiet presence amidst the chaos of the club fascinates him. He finds himself watching you without meaning to, drawn to how out of place you are.

Then, your eyes meet. You look right at him from across the room, and he doesn't look away. He holds your gaze, wondering if you’ll hold it too, but you drop your eyes almost immediately.

The shyness in that simple act is oddly cute because most girls he meets in places like this are bold, forward. They don't shy away from eye contact, but you? There is something sweet in your hesitance.

The second time you glance over, Felix notices a change. You're a little braver, and this time, you don’t just look—you stand up. Your steps are hesitant but purposeful as you cross the room, and before he can think too much about it, you're right in front of him.

“Do you mind if I kissed you?” you ask, your voice soft, small yet determined.

Felix raises an eyebrow, surprised but amused. He can’t help but smile at the way you asked for permission. Most girls don’t ask—they just do. But your politeness, your shyness, the way you're so out of place in this club yet standing in front of him, asking so sweetly—it's irresistible.

He looks at you, his smile widening. “How could I say no to that?”

A kiss has always just been a kiss for Felix—a simple way to satisfy some biological need, with no deeper meaning behind it. But this? This kiss doesn’t feel like that.

The kiss takes him back to something he hasn’t felt in years—the thrill of a first kiss. The kind that's innocent, pure, and full of nervous excitement. He can’t remember the last time he had a kiss that made him feel like this—something chaste but electrifying all at once.

As you pull away, Felix almost groans in protest. He wants more, needs more of that flutter, that spark. His lips tingle, and he can tell yours do too, as your hand flies up to your mouth as if you can’t believe what just happened.

"Do you want to get out of here?" you ask, your voice shy, but with a daring edge that Felix hadn’t expected.

Your charm is something else—shy and demure one moment, then bold and forward the next, endlessly fascinating him. There's just something about you that makes this feel less like a random encounter and more like something worth exploring.

Consider his curiosity piqued, eager to see where this unlikely encounter will take him next. He meets your gaze, a playful smile tugging at his lips, then he says, "Lead the way!"

You turn, feeling the heat of his presence close behind you as you make your way through the packed club. The noise slowly recedes, replaced by a focused, almost intimate atmosphere between you.

As you reach the exit, Felix places a hand on the small of your back, guiding you through the crowd. Once outside, the cool night air hits you, a refreshing contrast to the club’s stuffy heat.

Felix glances at you, his smile still in place, and asks, “So, what’s the plan?”

-

To be honest, you have no idea why you asked him out. You acted spontaneously, which is unlike you, but you know what you want. You crave the thrill and the excitement, and ultimately, more of that explosive kiss. 

Without thinking, you reach for Felix’s arm, pulling him toward the dimly lit alley next to the club. The urgency between you both is palpable, the energy from that brief kiss still simmering just beneath the surface. 

As soon as you're out of sight from the street, Felix pins you against a stack of old crates filled with empty beer bottles. His hands find your waist and pull you close. Your lips collide again, this time more passionate, more intense. Your heart is beating out of your chest as your fingers tangle in his long hair. 

In the intensity of the moment, you lean back slightly, misjudging the proximity of the crate. Your head strikes the edge with a sharp thud, and the sudden pain makes you wince. 

You gasp and accidentally break the kiss for a second, but you decide to laugh it off—you don’t want to ruin the moment. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice tinted with concern. 

“I’m fine," you say, half-laughing. 

Felix smiles, though concern fills his eyes as he leans in close. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay, I’m—” you begin to blabber, wanting to resume the heated moment by leaning in for another kiss, but you immediately stop when you notice the shift in his expression. 

His hand reaches up to the side of your head, and that’s when you feel it too—the warm, sticky sensation spreading through your hair. Then, he shows you his fingers, coated with your blood. 

“I don’t think you're okay,” he mutters, his voice suddenly serious. “You’re bleeding.” 

You can feel the adrenaline and embarrassment mingling as the pain begins to set in. 

Felix gently touches your shoulder, trying to comfort you as he guides you away from the alley. “We need to get this checked out. We need to go to the hospital.” 

Oh, no! This was supposed to be your night of finally breaking out of your shell, not a night where you make a fool of yourself in front of a hot guy. 

“It’s not a big deal. I don’t need to go to the hospital,” you insist, trying to brush off the situation. 

He shakes his head firmly, but his hand remains gentle on the small of your back. “We’re getting this checked out. You can’t just ignore it.” 

Without taking any of your excuses, Felix hails a taxi until one stops and pulls to the side of the road. He helps you get in, and on the ride to the nearest hospital, he checks on you every once in a while, asking if you're okay. His tatted hands and rough exterior are such a contrast to his gentle, attentive demeanor. 

That only makes you hate how the night has taken a turn. The two of you could have done more than just kiss by now if it weren’t for you bumping your head on a stupid crate. 

“Come back if you feel dizzy, nauseous, or if there’s a ringing in your ears,” the doctor says as she takes off her latex gloves, leaving the nurse to finish the rest. 

Despite the night’s earlier excitement, you feel a tinge of embarrassment about the whole incident. You're thinking of faking a concussion just to stay the night in the emergency room, but you're aware that would only make him worry more about you. 

Guess there's no other option but to push your way through this humiliation. 

As you step out of the emergency room, you see him standing against the wall, looking impossibly cool in his rough leather jacket. With his striking features, he could’ve been doing a photo shoot for a magazine. 

“Hi,” you nervously greet him. 

The adrenaline has drained from your body, leaving you feeling deflated. It's like the girl who kissed a stranger in a dark alley has vanished, replaced by your usual shy, awkward self—plus, you now have a bandage on your forehead. 

The magic of the night has faded, and you wouldn't blame Felix if he decided to leave now that he’s met the real you. He glances up from his phone, a soft smile stretching across his lips. 

“Hey. You okay?” he asks, putting his phone back into the pocket of his leather jacket. 

“Three stitches, no concussion,” you say, trying to sound casual. 

“Oh, that’s a relief,” Felix sighs, visibly relaxing. 

“You know, you don’t have to wait for me. I can deal with this myself,” you say, feeling a little guilty. He’s already done enough by helping you get to the hospital. 

“I can’t do that,” Felix says, his voice steady. 

“Why not?” you ask, genuinely curious. 

“I can’t just leave when you’re hurt,” he answers simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

That's such an unexpected answer from an unexpected man. He barely knows you, yet here he is, waiting outside an emergency room just to make sure you're okay. That thought warms you—but then it hits you: you don’t even know his name. 

“Unless I’m actually concussed… do I know your name?” you ask with a shy laugh. “Or did we skip introductions?” 

Felix chuckles, holding out his hand to you. “Felix,” he says, his deep voice sending a pleasant shiver through you. 

You take his hand, offering your name in return. “Nice to meet you, Felix.” 

It's about to get awkward from here, you can feel it. The momentum of the night has stalled, and now you aren’t sure what to say or do. You like him, but it feels like the window to continue this spontaneous night has closed. Maybe it’s better to retreat. 

“I’d better head home,” you mutter in defeat, but deep down, you hope the end of the night won’t feel as anticlimactic as it seems. 

To your surprise, Felix straightens up from the wall and turns toward the exit. With a warm and genuine smile, he offers, “Let me take you home.”

-

As Felix stands outside the emergency room, leaning against the wall, he notices you stepping out, looking more like yourself again—shy, awkward, but also kind of endearing. He can see the hint of embarrassment in your eyes, like you're expecting him to vanish now that things aren't as wild as they were earlier. But you have no idea he isn’t that kind of guy, not when it comes to this. 

You walk over, your voice soft and uncertain as you greet him, “Hi.” 

“Hey. You’re okay?” he puts on a smile, relieved that you're okay. 

“Three stitches, no concussion,” you answer, trying to play it down. 

“That’s a relief,” he sighs. 

Honestly, if anything worse had happened to you, he would’ve felt responsible, and he can’t live with that. Sure, his appearance might have given off the wrong vibe, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. You need help, so he helps you. 

“You know, you don’t even have to wait for me. I can just deal with it myself," you awkwardly clasp your hands in front of you and keep avoiding his eyes as you speak. 

“I can’t do that,” he says; there’s no way he leaves you alone after everything. 

“Why not?” you ask, genuinely confused. 

Felix doesn’t really have an answer to that, so he slowly shrugs and says, “I can’t just leave when you’re hurt.” 

You give him this look, like you're trying to figure him out. He guesses you don't expect him to care, but he does, and that is that. 

A moment passes in silence, and you shift awkwardly in front of him. “Unless I’m actually concussed... do I know your name, or did we skip the introduction?” 

It only hits him now that you both indeed haven't introduced each other. He chuckles and holds out his hand. “Felix.” 

You take it, and your hand feels warm and delicate in his. “Nice to meet you, Felix.” 

You seem like you're about to wrap up the night, but he can see it in the way you're fidgeting, like you're ready to go but also unsure about how to end things. 

“I’d better head home,” you mutter, your voice almost apologetic. 

But Felix isn’t ready to end the night, and he can tell you don’t want to, either—you just don’t have the nerve to ask. And honestly, he doesn’t want the moment to slip away, so he decides to give you an out. 

“Let me take you home,” he offers, and when your eyes meet his, he can see the relief flicker across your face. 

When the taxi pulls up outside your apartment building, he watches you try to act cool, but he can tell you’re hesitating. You don’t want the night to end any more than he does, but you aren’t going to say it. 

Felix has been with enough people to know when someone is too shy to speak up, and you are definitely in that space. He leans in slightly and asks, “Do you mind if I come in for a bit? I’m afraid I need to use your bathroom.” 

Your face lights up with a smile you can’t hide, and he has to hold back a grin of his own. 

“I don’t mind at all," you say, trying so hard to conceal the excitement in your voice. 

The two of you head inside. You lead the way to your apartment, climbing the stairs, giving him a view of your back as the hem of your dress sways while you walk until you reach the fourth floor.

Thank God for that! If you climbed another flight of stairs, he would have followed his intrusive thoughts and dropped to his knees to peek under your skirt to see what kind of underwear you’re wearing. 

Felix bets it's white, cotton, probably with cute floral prints. He shakes the thought away when you abruptly stop walking as you arrive at the front door of your apartment. 

Once you unlock the door, you open it and step aside to let Felix in. He flashes you a smile as he steps in the small yet cozy apartment. He glances around and sees the pictures on the wall, mostly of you and a tall girl with curly brown hair. He remembers her as one of the girls you’ve been with at the club. 

“The bathroom is that way,” you tell him, and Felix makes his way down the hall. 

Once inside, he wastes a bit of time washing his hands, fixing his hair, checking the hair products, all the while giving you a moment to settle. 

When he comes out, you’re in the kitchen, your hair now tied back into a low bun, exposing your neck and the soft tendrils of hair on the nape of your neck. You look… different, but still really cute. 

“Would you like a drink?” you ask, sauntering your way to the fridge. 

“Anything cold would be nice,” he answers. 

You take two cans of soda out of the fridge, bringing them with you to the living room and sitting on the small sofa. 

“Sit down, please,” you say, permitting him to sit in the space next to you since there’s no other place to sit. 

“This is a nice apartment,” he comments, his eyes glancing around while his hand works the tab on his soda can. 

“Thanks,” you mutter with a smile, holding the can of soda in both hands. It has been opened, but you're not drinking it. 

"I can safely assume you live with a roommate?" he asks, then takes a gulp of his soda, which instantly refreshes him. 

"Yes," you answer. "Rex, she’s one of the girls... back in the club," you awkwardly explain, confirming that he's right—she's the same girl from the club. 

"Is it short for Tyrannosaurus—" he pauses for dramatic effect, "—Rex?" 

You let out a chuckle and push your glasses up your nose. "Her real name is Rebecca, but she insisted on being called Rex because it's..." 

"Sounds cooler?" he easily guesses. 

"Yeah," you nod in confirmation, "and it's her birthday today, so..." 

"That's why you were at the club?" he asks, slowly getting his curiosity answered. 

"I think it's obvious that I wasn't there because of my own volition," you openly admit. 

Felix can see it now—the way you seemed out of place back at the club. It isn’t your scene, and it makes sense now that you explained it is Rex’s thing. He hesitates, feeling a question burning in his mind, one that he needs an answer to, regardless of what it might reveal. 

"And the kiss?"

-

Oh, no! Not this again. 

Please don't say that Felix is actually interested in Rex and that he was checking her out instead of you. This wouldn't be your first time, but what a pity! What a pity it would be if that turned out to be true. 

Until Felix asked about the kiss and whether it was Rex’s idea or not. 

Your throat tightens, but you know you have to be honest. “Rex dared me to do it,” you admit, your words tumbling out faster than you wanted. 

He nods, but you can see a flash of disappointment in his eyes—brief but noticeable. Before he can respond, you rush to explain the rest of the truth. 

“But the one we shared in the alley? That was me. I wanted that,” you add. 

Felix gives you the chance to explain more, so you continue, determined to make him understand. You put your can of soda on the table and inhale before speaking. 

“Earlier, during this game Rex and her friends played, they were talking about all these wild things they’d done, and I just sat there... realizing how much I’ve missed out on.” You pause to let out a sigh as the weight of your confession settles between you. “I’ve spent so much time focused on studying, hitting all my academic goals, that I never gave myself the chance to live. And I don’t want to wake up one day full of regret for not taking chances.” 

You look up from your lap at him—not necessarily meeting his eyes, or else you'll be a nervous wreck. “So tonight, I decided to push myself for once. The kiss might’ve started as a dare, but when I pulled you into that alley… that was real. For the first time in my life, I felt so alive.” 

Felix remains quiet for a moment, his eyes searching yours, taking in every word. You can feel his hesitation, though—a cautious distance. His concern isn’t just about your head injury; it's something more. 

“You don’t have to do all that just because your friends have done it,” he says, his voice gentle but firm. “You do it when you’re ready.” 

His words hit home, and you feel a wave of realization. The thrill and the pressure you’ve felt earlier are starting to clash with a deeper understanding of what you really want. 

You may be naïve and know little about this intimate stuff, but you're also the one who knows you best, and you know what you want—you want this. 

“I’m doing this for me. I want it. I'm ready," you unequivocally say, full of conviction. 

Felix’s expression softens, but doubts linger in his eyes. “I think you know what kind of guy I am. I don’t do relationships. I… casually date. I’m not a good guy.” 

You can’t help but smile at that, shaking your head in disagreement at his last statement. “You insisted on taking me to the hospital, waited until I got treated, and then made sure I got home safely. If that’s not a good guy, I don’t know what is,” you lay out all the facts on why he isn't what he says he is. 

He sighs, clearly conflicted, running his hand through his long, bleached hair. “I’m just not sure if you really want to do this… with me.” 

“I want to do this with you," you say without the slightest doubt. 

There's a reason why he's here when he had his chances to walk out of this situation. He could have ditched you back there in the club, in the dark alley, or at the hospital. He could have gotten into that taxi and gone home, but instead, he chose to come in here. 

Felix is quiet again, his eyes locked on yours as he considers what you said. Then, after what feels like an eternity, he lets out a sigh, letting the last bit of hesitation slip away from him. 

"We should go to your bedroom," he says, his voice low but confident. 

The excitement flares up in your chest, your heart racing as you rise from the sofa. This is it. The feeling you’ve been chasing all night—the sense of truly living, of stepping out of your comfort zone. You lead him to your bedroom, each step heavy with anticipation. 

When you open the door to your bedroom, you pause for a moment, suddenly feeling vulnerable. It’s strange—no one ever warns you how personal it feels to show someone your bedroom. It’s not just a room; it’s a reflection of you, of your habits, your life. You close the door behind you, your breath catching as Felix steps in and takes a quick look around. 

He glances over the shelves, where countless books are crammed into every available space. A small smile tugs at his lips, a look of slight amusement crossing his face as he takes it all in. It’s like he doesn’t expect this—your quiet, introverted world clashing with the chaotic energy of the night. 

But then his eyes land back on you, and your pulse quickens. You’re alone now, really alone, in the privacy of your bedroom, and the reality of it all settles over you. You can feel the weight of the moment, not knowing how to begin but wanting to. You step closer to him, hoping he’ll take the lead. 

Felix sits down on the edge of your bed, his eyes still on you. He pats the space beside him, an invitation, and you sit down next to him, nerves tingling under your skin. 

"You have a very interesting room," he says with a playful smile, but there’s no mockery in his tone—only genuine surprise. 

You shyly chuckle, your hands fidgeting in your lap. "Yeah, I’m… very aware." 

He turns to you, his gaze softening. He’s studying you, taking you in, and when he looks into your eyes, you feel like he’s seeing something deeper. Then, as if realizing something, his brow furrows slightly. 

“Can I take them off?" he asks, nodding toward your glasses. "Will you still be able to see without them?” 

“I’m nearsighted, so yeah,” you confirm, your hand halfway to your face to take them off, but Felix gets ahead, gently removing them for you. Then he places them carefully on your bedside table. 

The world around you becomes a soft blur, but Felix… Felix is in perfect focus. He’s all you can see. His delicate features stand out, his warm brown eyes locking onto yours, his freckles like tiny constellations dusting his cheeks and nose. It’s like he’s become the center of your universe, and nothing else matters in that moment. 

You get a little overwhelmed as you take him in—his beauty so striking, so close, making your heart beat out of your chest. You wonder if he can hear it too. 

"Can I take your hair down?" Felix asks, his voice soft but deliberate. 

Unable to provide a verbal answer, you nod. His hand is quick to reach behind your head, releasing your hair from the tie, and you feel an unexpected wave of relaxation wash over you, like the tension you’d been carrying all night had been held there, in your hair. 

Felix’s fingers move through the strands gently, combing through them, letting the ends slip through his fingers. The tattoos on his hand catch your attention, and as his sleeve rides up, you notice even more ink snaking up his arm. 

"How many tattoos do you have?" you ask, unable to hide your curiosity. 

"I stopped counting a long time ago," Felix chuckles, a lightness in his voice that makes you smile. 

He notices your lingering gaze on his tattoos, and without hesitation, he starts unbuttoning the cuff of his shirt. He lets the fabric fall back, giving you a clearer view of the designs that cover his skin. The sight of his muscles beneath the inked patterns, the veins trailing down his arm, captivates you. 

"Is it okay if I touch you?" you ask, your voice quiet, unsure if it’s too bold. 

"You can touch me," he says with an encouraging smile, "anywhere." 

The last word unexpectedly provokes you; it was just a word until Felix gives it a new meaning now, and it's been echoing in the back of your mind in his deep, low voice. Anywhere. 

With a tentative hand, you reach out, slowly rolling his sleeve up higher. The tattoos become more detailed—the lines and shading intricate—but what holds your attention is the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. The combination of the ink and the physicality of him makes you feel a strange sense of intimacy. Afraid that you're overstepping, you let the sleeve fall back and flash him a smile of gratitude.

“You know this will be easier if you sit closer,” Felix says, his tone suggestive but gentle. 

You shift closer, trying to keep your breath steady. The space between you shrinks, but the heat from his body seems to rise, making your heart race. 

"Closer," Felix murmurs, his eyes twinkling with amusement. 

You move another inch. 

"More," he says, his voice a bit firmer this time. 

You scoot a little more until finally, there’s no space left between you. Your body is pressed against his, and the warmth from him feels overwhelming, your skin tingling from the proximity. 

"I think you should put your hand around my neck," Felix suggests, his voice a low rumble. 

"Are you sure?" you ask, still worried about overstepping. 

"Of course," he reassures you, guiding your hand up to his shoulder. 

From there, you let it drift to the back of his neck, feeling the strong line of muscle beneath your palm. 

The two of you are incredibly close; you can feel his breath brushing against your cheek. As if the proximity isn't enough, his hand cups your jaw, his thumb softly rubbing your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. 

It doesn't take a genius to know what comes next; you can feel it coming as the tension intensifies with each passing second. 

"I'm not a good kisser," you blurt out, your insecurities successfully breaking through the haze of the moment. 

"You did just fine earlier," he says, watching as his thumb swipes across your lower lip. 

You try to argue, but before you can say another word, Felix presses a soft kiss to your cheek, leaving a searing warmth behind. 

"Stop thinking and just..." he trails off, kissing just beneath your eye, sending a shock of sensation through you, "… do it." 

Before you can process his words, his lips find yours. The kiss is electric and powerful, wiping away every doubt and insecurity. The world narrows down to the feeling of his mouth on yours, the sound of your breath mingling in the quiet of your bedroom. 

Felix pulls away just enough for you to catch your breath, his hand moving to brush your hair to the side. He does it carefully to avoid accidentally touching the bandaged wound on your forehead. 

"Now," he says, voice deep with desire, "we’re going to put in a little tongue." 

Dazed and a little disoriented from the kiss, you nod, your brain unable to compute a word. 

He kisses you again, this time slower, more deliberate, teasing you with his tongue as it slides across your lips. It’s sensual and intimate, and when you let him in, the kiss deepens, and you try your best to move in sync with him. 

When Felix pulls away, he’s grinning, looking impressed. "See? You’re a natural." 

Flustered, you look down, but he isn’t having it. He wants your eyes, your full attention on him, so he puts his hand under your chin, gently angling your face back toward his. 

Not giving you a moment to think, he plants a kiss on your lips again—gently, but there’s intensity to it, a sense of hunger that needs to be satisfied. 

At the same time, his other hand travels down to your back, tracing down your spine before he withdraws it back to your front, reaching for the button of your dress. 

You've been handling it well so far, but when he touches you there, it triggers the alarm bells in your head. You try to convince yourself that it's okay; you trust Felix, and he's not going to harm you, but your body abruptly freezes, and you stiffen against him. 

Felix notices immediately and takes his hands off of you, concern painted on his small face. 

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks softly, not wanting to alarm you further. 

First, it was Rex’s birthday party, and not long after that, you did it again by bumping your head during a makeout session in the dark alley, and now this. You sigh and look down at your lap, wondering why you keep sabotaging your life like this. 

"I’m sorry, I just... I–I wasn’t ready for that," you meekly say, looking down at your lap, feeling embarrassed. 

"That’s okay," he says with a soothing voice. "I’d rather you tell me when you’re uncomfortable." 

Anyone else might have been annoyed or disappointed, but Felix—he’s patient, gentle, and very understanding. You feel a rush of gratitude for him. 

"Okay," you murmur, nodding. 

"Or you can just slap me next time," he jokes, trying to lighten the mood. 

Slapping his face would feel like vandalizing the Mona Lisa, so you shake your head in strong disagreement while softly laughing, "No. I wouldn’t do that." 

Thanks to you freaking out without reason, you have to start all over again, and you can only hope that Felix has some patience left for you. 

You watch as he glances toward your bedside table, eyeing the small stack of books. "Are these the ones you’re reading?" 

"Yeah," you reply, your smile returning. 

"You’re telling me you’re reading five books at once?" he asks. His tattooed fingers trail along the spines as he reads the titles under his breath. 

"Three are for school," you say, chuckling, "but the other two are for fun." 

"Oh, so you do know how to have fun," he teases you with a charming smile that makes his eyes lively. 

You know he's trying to lighten the mood, and you feel thankful that he indeed still has some patience left in him. 

Felix picks up the smallest one from the top of the stack and flips through the pages. "Poetry," he remarks. 

"Yeah," you nod, feeling a bit shy. 

He looks at you with something new in his eyes. "Would you read me one?" 

"A poem?" you stammer. 

"No, the index page," he teases you yet again. 

You laugh, feeling a bit silly for asking, and then take the book from him. You open it, easily finding the page you marked as your favorite poem. 

"Okay... I’ll try," you say as you clear your throat.

Your fingers nervously brush the edges of the page, eyes glancing at the words, but you’re aware of Felix’s gaze on you. His presence is overwhelming—his closeness, the subtle intensity in his expression. 

Despite everything, you begin reading, your voice low and a little shaky. 

"Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which I cannot touch because they are too near." 

Felix leans in closer, his breath warm against your cheek. His hand moves to the back of your neck, brushing the loose strands of your hair away. 

You pause, feeling the pressure of his nearness, but he nudges you gently. 

"Keep reading," he whispers against your skin, the warmth of his voice sending a shiver down your spine. 

You swallow, forcing yourself to focus. Your voice is a little shaky as you continue. 

"Your slightest look easily will unclose me though I have closed myself as fingers; you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens—" 

Felix’s lips press softly against the corner of your mouth just as your voice falters. You draw in a breath, trying to steady yourself, but his kiss lingers, feather-light and teasing. 

You glance at him, the lines of the poem slipping from your mind. 

"Go on," he murmurs, his mouth now brushing your jawline. His hand slips to your waist, holding you in place as if keeping you tethered to the moment. 

"I... I—" you stammer, your focus crumbling under his touch, his lips trailing a path down to your neck. You grip the book tighter, trying to maintain the thread of the poem, your voice coming out as a breathy whisper: "you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose—" 

Felix presses another kiss just below your ear, making your breath hitch. He’s being gentle but deliberate, his lips grazing your skin with an intention that makes it almost impossible to concentrate. 

Your heart bursts, the words on the page becoming blurry. "Felix..." you murmur, caught between the poem and the sensation of his kisses. 

"Don’t stop," he whispers again, this time against the curve of your neck, sending a rush of warmth through you. "I want to hear the rest." 

Your voice quivers as you try to continue, the lines of the poem mixing with the feeling of his lips. 

"Or if your wish be to close me, I and my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending—" 

His kisses grow slower, more languid, as if savoring every inch of your skin. Each one draws you further away from the poem, your pulse quickening under his touch. He pulls back just slightly, and his eyes meet yours, his gaze heavy with desire, but still, he urges you on. 

"Finish it," he says softly, his thumb tracing your lower lip as he holds your gaze. 

You exhale shakily, barely able to focus anymore, but you try.

"Nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility..." 

Before you can finish the last line, Felix’s lips capture yours, cutting off the rest of the poem. His kiss is deeper this time, not asking for permission but claiming the moment as his own. The book slips from your hand, forgotten, as you lean into him, your breath mingling with his. 

The poetry becomes a distant memory as his kisses consume you, every touch drawing you further into him. And for the first time, you don’t feel the need to pull back or hesitate. You melt into the moment, into him, as the poem fades into the background, replaced by the quiet intensity of Felix’s lips on yours. 

The poem may be incomplete, but the moment is whole. 

-

Felix watches as you fumble with the edges of the poetry book, your nervousness plain in the way your fingers tremble. He can sense how hard you’re trying to focus, trying to find your voice in the moment.

There’s a certain charm in how unsure you are, the way your eyes keep darting up to him, like you’re looking for some kind of permission. But he knows you don’t need it. You want this—he can feel it in the air between you.

When you finally start to read, your voice is soft, hesitant.

“Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence...”

Felix can barely concentrate on the words. It’s your voice—that shaky, uncertain quality—that pulls him in, and you’re so close. He leans in, pressing the warmth of his lips against your cheek, testing, teasing. He feels the way you stiffen, your breath catching. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but the urge to touch you, to close that gap, is too strong.

"Keep reading," he murmurs, his lips brushing your skin, barely above a whisper. He feels your pulse quicken beneath his touch.

You take a deep breath and continue, your voice even softer now, trying to hold it together.

"Your slightest look easily will unclose me though I have closed myself as fingers..."

As your voice trails off again, Felix can't resist. His lips graze the corner of your mouth, light and fleeting. He watches your eyes flutter, sees the way you're barely hanging onto the thread of the poem, and it makes him smile inwardly. He pulls back just enough to see the heat in your cheeks, the uncertainty fighting with desire in your eyes.

"Go on," he urges, this time pressing his lips to the soft skin just beneath your jawline. His hand slips to your waist, fingers curling lightly around you, holding you steady, grounding you as he teases.

"I–I..." Your voice falters completely as his lips trail lower, brushing the sensitive spot near your neck.

He loves the way you stammer, the way your breath comes in shallow gasps.

"You open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens—"

Felix hears your voice waver again, and he chuckles softly against your neck. He knows exactly what he’s doing. The poem doesn’t stand a chance against his kisses, but he likes this game, this slow unraveling of your composure.

"Felix..." you murmur, barely able to hold onto the words.

He pulls back just enough to speak, his breath warm against your ear. "Don’t stop." His voice is low, coaxing, as he brushes another kiss just below your ear. "I want to hear the rest."

You try—he can see you trying—but the way you tremble beneath his touch makes it almost impossible for you to concentrate. He watches you struggle, a mix of amusement and desire in his gaze as you fight to continue.

"...Or if your wish be to close me, I and my life will shut very beautifully..."

Felix’s lips move slowly across your skin, savoring every inch. He can feel the tension in you, the way you’re holding onto control by a thread. But then, something shifts. He presses one last kiss to your neck, soft and lingering, and watches as your resolve crumbles. The book slips from your hands, your breath hitching in your chest.

“Finish it,” Felix whispers, his thumb grazing your lower lip. He can see the words have all but left you, but he waits, eyes fixed on your trembling lips.

"...The power of your intense fragility..."

Before you can finish the line, Felix presses his lips to yours. The words are lost as he kisses you, claiming the moment. There’s no hesitation in the way your body responds, melting into him as if you’ve been waiting for this all night. The book falls from your hands, forgotten, as his hands move to pull you closer.

He feels the way you surrender to the kiss, how every bit of uncertainty you held before dissolves. His kiss deepens, slow but deliberate, until he pulls back just enough to look at you, lips still close, your breaths mingling.

Felix takes a quick check to see if you're comfortable enough to continue, his thumb brushing across your cheek as he leans his forehead against yours. He can feel the way you’re still caught in the moment, still wanting more.

His hand slides down to your shoulder, tracing the curve of your spine. He brushes your hair to the side, kissing you again—slower this time, deeper. The way you respond, your lips meeting his with growing confidence, only pulls him in more.

Felix takes your hand and gently places it on his chest. He feels the way your hand stays immobile for a moment, but then it starts to move, roaming curiously over his body. Your touch is tentative but warm, and soon enough, your fingers tug at the opening of his shirt, revealing a peek of inked skin underneath. Felix notices the way your curiosity lights up your face. “Do you want to see the rest of my tattoos?”

You hesitate, biting your lip as you think about it, unsure if you should say yes. To avoid letting him hear how eager you are, you nod instead.

“But you have to help me with the buttons,” he says, glancing down at his shirt.

It’s a subtle invitation, but the way he says it makes you feel like you’re in control. You start undoing the buttons, one by one, your fingers working carefully, as if each button is a gateway to something unknown. When you finish, you stop, leaving the fabric still draped across his chest. There’s a moment of hesitation, as if parting the shirt will reveal something too intimate, something more than just skin.

Felix senses your nerves, so he does the rest; he shrugs the shirt off his shoulders, revealing the ink that covers his chest and arms. Normally, he’s confident about his body, but under your gaze, he feels a flicker of vulnerability. You’re studying him, and he can feel the weight of it, like you’re looking past the surface.

“It’s all over you,” you mutter in awe.

One, in particular, seems to draw your attention—the dragon on his ribcage. Felix notices the way your hand lingers there, eyes fixed on the intricate design. He smiles softly, taking your hand and pressing it gently against the dragon.

“Here... feel it,” he says, guiding your touch.

Your fingers trace the lines of the tattoo, feather-light and full of wonder. Every slight graze of your fingertips sends a rush through him, and the way you’re touching him so delicately is like you’re trying to memorize the feel of each tattoo.

“Do you like it?” he asks, his voice soft but laced with curiosity.

“I had no idea I liked tattoos until now,” you innocently answer.

There's something so honest in your words, and Felix can’t help but smile, feeling the tension between you shift into something deeper, more intimate. He watches you as your fingers continue to explore, and for the first time in a long while, he feels a kind of peace in this closeness, like it’s more than just physical. There’s something in the way you touch him, like you’re seeing him for the first time—not just his body, but all the stories inked into his skin.

Then you take your hand back and fidget in your seat. You open your mouth, but no words come out. After a while, you ask, “Should I undress?”

“Only if you want to,” he says, not wanting to pressure you and also trying to make it clear that this is on your terms.

With a shy nod, you start moving, fingers flying to the buttons of your dress, fumbling a little in your nervousness. Felix notices and, sensing your discomfort, turns his head away, giving you the privacy you need. He helps by dimming the lights on your bedside lamp, knowing that a girl like you prefers the softer glow to ease the tension. Now, the room is bathed in a quiet, warm light, making everything feel more intimate, more comfortable.

“Do you need help?” he offers after a moment, his back still to you.

“I’m done anyway,” you respond, your voice softer now.

Felix hears the faint sound of your dress hitting the floor, and he inhales, preparing himself for what he's going to see. He turns his head slowly, careful not to look directly at you until he’s sure you’re comfortable. His eyes first meet yours, searching for any sign that you’re nervous, that you want him to stop, but you hold his gaze, and that’s all the permission he needs. His eyes travel down, finally taking in the sight of you.

The first thing that catches his attention is the unexpected—the matching silk and lace set you’re wearing, soft and delicate against your skin. It’s a contrast to the image he had in mind, and it takes his breath away. The colors, the fabric—it all highlights your natural beauty in a way that almost overwhelms him.

Beautiful. That’s the only word that comes to mind, but even that feels like it doesn’t do you justice. You’re beyond that. You’re captivating in a way that makes him hesitant to even touch you, as if the act itself would somehow break the spell between you.

“I want to touch you,” he admits, his voice trembling with restraint, overwhelmed by how much he desires you but not wanting to rush.

“Okay,” you say, so simply, so openly.

-

The intimacy of the moment is overwhelming. Felix is sitting there, shirtless, and the way he’s looking at you makes your skin tingle. The silence stretches between you, heavy with unspoken questions.

After a while, you finally manage to speak. “Should I undress?”

Felix’s gaze is soft, his voice gentle when he responds, “Only if you want to.”

His words reassure you, but still, your hands tremble as you reach for the buttons on your dress. You fumble with them, nervous fingers struggling to move faster. Felix, sensing your discomfort, turns away, giving you a moment to compose yourself. It’s a small gesture, but it makes you feel better, like he understands without needing to be told.

You manage to undo the last button, letting the dress slip down your shoulders and fall to the floor with a soft thud. You glance at Felix, and he still isn’t looking. He’s turned the light down, creating a softer, warmer atmosphere that eases some of the tension in your chest. It’s as if he knows that you’d rather not be fully exposed in the harsh glow of bright light.

“Do you need help?” he asks, his voice careful, like he’s afraid of pushing you too far.

“I’m done anyway,” you reply, your voice shaky but steady enough.

Felix exhales, turning back to face you slowly, almost cautiously. He looks into your eyes first, making sure you’re okay before letting his gaze travel down. When his eyes finally take in the sight of you, you see something shift in him. His expression softens, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest, almost painfully so.

You weren’t sure what he’d expect to see, but the look on his face—like he’s in awe—makes you feel beautiful in a way you’ve never felt before. You're wearing your favorite matching set, silk and lace, in a color that contrasts perfectly with your skin. You chose it thinking you might need something that makes you feel confident, but now, under Felix’s gaze, you wonder if it was the right choice. But then you see the way he looks at you, like you’re something precious, and all your doubts melt away.

“I want to touch you,” Felix says softly, his voice trembling, almost as if he’s afraid to break the moment.

“Okay,” you answer, trying to sound calm even though your heart feels like it’s about to explode.

Felix doesn’t rush. His movements are slow, deliberate. He brushes your hair aside, his fingertips barely grazing your skin, but it’s enough to send a shiver down your spine. His knuckles trace down your chest, stopping at the center, right between your breasts. His hand rests flat there, and you feel the warmth of his palm seeping into your skin, the beat of your heart thudding loudly under his touch.

“You're so beautiful,” he softly murmurs as he looks into your eyes.

You can feel heat spreading across your face. You want to say something, but the words get stuck in your throat. Instead, you just look down, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, by how gentle and caring he’s being.

Felix leans in, and when he kisses you, it’s not rushed. His lips are soft, and the kiss is gentle, as though he’s trying to coax you out of your shell. You kiss him back, a little more confidently this time, the warmth of his body pressing against yours making everything feel more natural.

The more time you spend with Felix, the more certain you feel that you’re in the right place, with the right person. His presence is calming, his touch patient and careful. Every kiss, every gentle brush of his hand against your skin reminds you that he’s giving you all the time in the world. He doesn’t rush, doesn’t push you beyond what you’re ready for, and that thought alone is enough to make your heart swell.

Felix holds back so much—it’s evident in the way he slows his movements, adjusting to your hesitance, waiting for you to catch up, to feel comfortable. You notice how he looks at you, always checking, always making sure you’re okay with what’s happening. He’s so understanding that you can feel your insecurities start to melt away, one by one, like the weight of them no longer matters in this space you’ve created together.

As the kissing becomes more intense, your breathing picks up, and the room feels warmer. You feel his strong yet gentle hand resting on your shoulder, his fingers playing with the strap of your bra, and you know what comes next.

This time, you decide to take the initiative and ask, “Do you want me to take these off?”

“If you allow me to,” he answers with a soft smile.

You’ve always known your body isn't the kind men fantasize about, or at least, that’s what you tell yourself. “They’re not—They’re not my best features,” you meekly admit.

Felix’s eyes don’t waver, and his smile turns into a playful smirk, one that both teases and comforts at the same time. “How can I know for sure when I haven’t seen them?”

You feel a smile tugging at your lips; he has a fair point, and you can’t argue with him when he looks at you like that—like he sees you, not just the parts you want to hide.

You nod, giving him permission, and lean forward slightly to make it easier for him to reach behind you. His fingers find the clasp of your bra almost immediately, without hassle.

The sound of it unclasping makes your breath hitch, anticipation swirling in the air between you, and then he pulls back just enough to let the bra fall away, his fingers gently sliding the straps down your shoulders. His movements are slow, with excitement simmering underneath, as if he’s unwrapping a precious gift.

And then, you’re bare in front of him, vulnerable in a way that sends a nervous thrill through you.

Felix doesn’t rush to fill the silence. He doesn’t gawk or make you feel exposed. Instead, he looks at you with a soft, quiet admiration that makes your heart flutter.

“They're perfect,” he says, and the sincerity in his praise makes your insecurities seem small, insignificant.

-

Felix's breath catches in his throat at the sight of you, bare in front of him. The soft curves of your chest stir something deep inside him, and for a moment, he has to hold back from letting his hands act purely on impulse. He swallows hard, trying to keep his cool, even though the urge to touch you is overwhelming.

“They’re perfect,” he says softly, his voice rougher than he intended. He means it. It’s not about size or shape—he just likes seeing you, just like this.

If he's being honest, you’re not what Felix thought he always wanted. But now, with you in front of him, he finds himself thinking that you’re more than enough—perfect, in fact.

He lets himself lose a bit of that self-control, his hand reaching out, grazing your skin before cupping your breast, his gentle yet curious fingers exploring the softness of your chest. They fit perfectly in his tattooed hands, and he feels heat rising in him.

“See? They’re perfect,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin as if to prove the point.

You remain quiet as he touches you, but your eyes go wide, lips parting slightly, and then, unexpectedly, you run your palms over your own breasts, fingers grazing your nipples with a restless, almost nervous motion.

The sight of you touching yourself, so innocently but also with that hidden desire, nearly drives him over the edge. He has to clench his jaw to stop himself from groaning aloud.

"Why are you looking at them like that?" you curiously ask in a shy voice.

“Like what?” he asks, his voice deep and low, almost a growl as he leans in closer, needing to hear you say it.

“Like you want t-to…” You hesitate, stumbling over your words.

“Lick them? Suck them?” he finishes the sentence for you, the words falling from his lips with an intensity that makes you look down at your lap, cheeks heated.

You nod, too shy to say it aloud.

Felix exhales slowly, his restraint hanging by a thread. “Come here!” his voice is rough, almost commanding as he gestures for you to sit on his lap.

Biting your lip, you crawl onto him and sit right on his lap.. You freeze for a moment, probably feeling his hard flesh prodding under you.

"You can ignore that," he tells you, at least for now, but he knows both of you can’t ignore that for long.

Somehow, that thought worries him, and he expected you to sit stiff as a board on his lap, but you immediately settle in close, and when he puts his arm around you, you let out a ragged sigh, instantly melting into him.

Fuck, you're so close, especially that part of you, hanging so close to his mouth. He gulps air and reminds himself to take things slowly. This is about you, not him.

You put your hand under his arm and grasp at his back, your hard nipples grazing his chest in the process, and Felix can’t resist cupping your breasts and rubbing his fingers over them.

Soon, your body softens around him, but his hands grow rough as he touches you, molding you to him as he claims your mouth. The kiss is a savage thing of teeth and tongues, but there’s no hint of protest from you. Instead, you match his roughness for roughness, kissing him back until you run out of breath.

As you come up for air, he covers your nipple with his mouth and sucks hard. He pulls you close so he can do the same with the other one; this time, he has your nipple rolling on his tongue. Oh, he can do it all night, just playing with your soft mounds.

Your fingers make their way through his hair, tugging at it as you arch your back with unconscious demand. It's apparent that you love this, losing your mind over his touches.

Felix lets go of your breast, then drags his lips upward, climbing the column of your throat until they find yours, kissing your mouth with such intensity that it causes you to sharply inhale air.

As he's kissing you, his hands refuse to remain idle. He cups your breasts, stroking the buds until they ache and pinches them, sending a burst of sensation straight to your core. With caution, he takes it to the next level, shifting his focus to another sensitive part of you. He's smoothing a hand over your stomach, and he can feel your muscles clench. Cautiously, he slides a hand up your inner thigh.

“I want to touch you here,” he says while gently palming your sex with a bold grasp, and the heat of his touch spreads through the fabric of your panties, searing hot.

Your hand immediately flies to grip his wrist, intending to pull him away, but your hand stays there; if anything, you pull it back and let it rest on his inked forearm.

“Is that permission?” he whispers into your ear.

He sees the conflict in your eyes. He guesses the reason you hesitate is that this is new to you, and you don't know how to handle this side of yourself. After a while, your body wins over your hesitant mind as your hips arch against his hand, asking him to continue, asking him for more.

He pushes your underwear to the side, and as he kisses your neck, his fingers trace your bundle of nerves, circling it, then applying the gentlest of pressure to test whether you like it or not.

A low moan slips out of you, and he can feel you tugging at his hair, hard.

"Do you want me to keep my hand there?" he asks as he looks into your dazed eyes.

You innocently nod.

"All right. I'll do that," he says with a hasty kiss on your lips. He continues by tracing your slick entrance with his fingertips, touching you there lightly, trailing around and around in dizzying circles.

"Does that feel good?" he asks, barely audible.

Still unable to give him a verbal answer, you nod again.

He aims his parted mouth toward your neck and purposely scrapes his teeth against your skin before he licks and kisses you there, causing goosebumps to spread over your skin.

"Will you let me get inside?" he asks for permission as his fingers tease your entrance.

It's obvious that you want it from the way you're arching your hips against his hand, but he doesn't want to risk losing you to the nerves again; he needs to hear you say it this time.

"Yes," you breathlessly say with a small nod.

With your consent given, his fingers search through your folds, coating them with your essence, and he lingers around your entrance for a little while before pushing one finger into you.

He feels your sharp intake of air as your head rests so close to his, your teeth faintly biting your lower lip to muffle the noises you make.

Felix gives you time to adjust before adding another digit. Two fingers are inside you now, pumping them, and he curls them, finding that spot that makes you...

"Oh!" you gasp, your hand grasping at the end of his hair like it gives you a lifeline. Your legs tremble, causing you to lose your balance, and you almost topple back, but Felix is quick to grip your waist to keep you steady.

The whole thing is so cute. Felix rubs his lips to hide a grin as you steady yourself on his lap and fold your hands in your lap. He knows that if he continues, you’d likely fall to the floor. You're the kind of girl who gets weak when you get hot, and don’t get him wrong; he loves that. If anything, it makes every bit of effort it has taken to get past your guard worth it.

"It's better if we lay down," he suggests as he removes the strand of hair caught between your lips.

"Okay," you say, your voice small and filled with obedience.

Once you get off his lap, Felix takes the lead again. He stretches out near the center of the bed, propping himself up on an elbow, and pats the space next to him. No moment of hesitation this time, you crawl across the bed and lay down next to him.

Felix leans over you and kisses you, starting right back at the beginning with innocent brushes of both of your lips and teasing licks before taking your mouth once again. He wouldn't say you're that great of a kisser, but it's entertaining feeling you learn. You may lack in skill, but you make up for it with your eagerness.

He puts your hand on his bare chest, letting you roam free from there; he needs you to feel him too, how his body heats all over from his desire for you. You drag your hand down his chest, fingers trailing the hard ridges of his abs, and then you keep heading down south, meeting the waistband of his jeans.

Felix is unprepared when your hand suddenly goes to his crotch and strokes over the fly of his pants. Pleasure courses through him, and his cock jumps in excitement, a hoarse groan slipping out of his parted mouth.

He remains calm even though you've just awakened a part of him that he wants to keep tamed, for now. He notices the curious hand and then the curious eyes.

"Want to touch it?" he offers, his eyes half shut, heavy with lust.

"Can I?" you ask back instead of answering.

It's about time to set it free anyway; his jeans have been tightening around the crotch for quite some time. He unzips the fly open, then tugs at the waistband of his jeans and pulls it low enough to let his swollen member out of its confines.

Your hand lingers on his abdomen, hesitating to put your hand on the thing you're curious about.

He takes your hand, puts it on his cock, and then makes you close your fingers around it. The sight of your soft, delicate hand wrapped around his cock makes his heart thrumming inside his chest.

"This is my cock," he says, trying to keep his voice calm.

He guides you to stroke your hand on it, pumping it up and down his length, showing you the pace he prefers: slow but steady. "I want you to tell me when you want it."

You swallow air and look down to see that he's no longer guiding you; you're stroking his cock on your own, and he must say, you're doing so good at it.

He returns the favor by reaching down between your legs, touching you there again. His fingers meet your wetness, hot and slippery, tantalizing him.

After a moment, he decides to hover above you, letting go of your lips to start making a trail of kisses down your front. Your chest is heaving as he gets closer to your core, but he does the unexpected by detaching his mouth.

"Do you mind if I take this off?" he asks, fingers tugging at the elastic band of your underwear.

You lick your swollen lips and lowly mutter, "No."

He flashes you a soft smile before doing what he asked. His palm scrapes up the outside of your leg as he pulls your underwear down. You help by lifting your hips to make it easier for him to take it off.

Felix stands at the end of the bed with your underwear in his hand. He lets you watch as he takes a long sniff of it; you smell so heavenly that he wants this smell all over him. But first, he has to make it fair. He takes his jeans off along with his underwear, exposing his naked body in all its glory for you—just for you.

In return, he gets to see all of you, your body wrapped in miles and miles of soft skin. His eyes feast on every part of you, but you cross your thighs together, blocking him from seeing the thing that tantalized him all night.

He runs his tattooed hands down your legs, offering you his warmth and comfort as a way to assure you that he wants nothing but to make you feel good. When he deems you're relaxed enough, he parts your legs open, and his eyes widen as if he sees something that goes beyond what his brain can comprehend.

"You're so wet for me," he says, swallowing air as the sight suddenly makes his throat dry.

Felix satisfies his need by taking a closer look at it, his eyes darkened and fixated on the thing that endlessly tantalizes him. He licks his lips in reaction to the overwhelming urge to taste you.

He uses his thumb to circle your clit, which engorges with every motion. "It wants my mouth so badly," he tells you, his eyes dark and heavy with lust.

Felix presses his cheek to your inner thigh and, ever so softly, places a long kiss on the skin. It's close to where he wants to be but not enough. His need grows desperate.

"Put us both out of our misery and let me taste you."

-

Felix is perfect. He stands there like carved stone, but his skin is smooth and hot to the touch, firm but giving, alive. His muscles hunch and shift as he moves, and the dragon tattoo winks at you as he steps out of his pants; the motion alone is so sexy. 

This is Felix in all of his naked glory. He is perfection, even that part of him—gosh, especially that part of him. His erection demands your full attention, hard and veiny, in flawless proportion to the rest of his beautiful body. You have never given a man oral sex before, but your mouth waters at the sight of it. You want it. 

You can’t remember how to breathe as he puts his tattooed hands on you, rubbing them up and down the outside of your legs, making you tingle down there. You see how he quietly inhales air before parting your legs open and lets all the air out of his mouth as he shifts his eyes to see what's between your legs. 

It's the most private part of you, and you expect him to see it in disgust, but the way he looks at it... you see nothing but pure admiration. He puts his focus there, needing more time to process what he's seeing. 

"You're so wet for me," he says, barely audible as he holds his breath. 

He bends down close to your wet flesh, making your nervousness spike to heart-pounding levels, and his eyes never stray away from what he wants. Then his thumb meets the peak of your sex, gently rubbing it, and you quietly moan under your breath. 

"It wants my mouth so badly," he says, receiving your body's signals too well. 

The little kisses he places on your inner thighs feel soft, but you can see that it's not quite what he wants; he's so close to it, yet he handles his self-control really well. 

He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them, they immediately find yours. Then he murmurs, "Put us both out of misery and let me taste you." 

It hits you now that he truly wants this, you. He likes what he sees, and his craving for your most private parts is real. It's dirty but highly erotic and exciting. You want to give it to him; you do, but you doubt that the reality will meet his expectations. 

“Will you be disappointed if I don’t like it and I don’t respond like other women?” you ask, feeling a little anxious, thinking that you’re about to ruin the moment. Again. 

“If you don’t like it, then we’ll move on,” he simply says, spreading your legs wider and then landing a gentle, closed-mouth kiss on your clit, catching you off guard. 

Your body stiffens for a second, not expecting that sensuous jolt, and then you relax in the next second. 

"Hate that?" he asks with wistful, downturned eyes. 

"I..." You still can't decide if you like it or not; you need more— 

Felix lands another kiss, followed by a slow tasting of his tongue on it. He hums his approval and covers your sex with his mouth, sucking with slight pressure as his tongue laps over your clit, repeatedly. 

Your mind shuts down; your body slowly goes limp as heat blooms inside you, and your face buries in the blanket as the pleasure intensifies. This feeling is new to you; your body is in a state of shock from the immense sensations, and you feel like you're about to cry when he abruptly stops. 

"You don't like it?" he asks after getting no answer from you. "Let me try it another way..." 

Felix pushes two fingers into you, and your eyes roll to the back as he begins a steady pace, combining it with his tongue flickering over your cunt, and somehow, you can’t stop your hips from rising to meet his thrusts. 

Oh God! You're riding his hand and smothering his face with your wet cunt. You tell yourself to stop, but you can't; you find your hands tangled in his long, bleached-blond hair instead. You're tightening around him, so wet now you can hear the slippery sounds every time he pumps his fingers into you. 

"I'll stop," Felix says as he licks his glistening wet lips, then rubs his tongue over you fast and hard, making you clench helplessly around his fingers. 

"Felix..." you breathlessly call his name. You can't believe how needy you sound—almost pathetic even. 

"One last taste..." Felix says before planting his mouth on you again. He sucks with perfect pressure, his tongue cleverly dragging out the pleasure to keep your release out of reach. He presses a parting kiss to your sex and lifts his head, stopping for real this time. 

"Yeah, you look ready now," he says it so low it's almost like a whisper. 

Truthfully, you've been ready for a while now, and you love the idea of demanding his... cock and him providing it; you just can’t get those words past your lips. 

Apparently, the look on your face tells it all. As he props a hand next to your waist, he looks at you and asks, "Do you want it?" 

You stifle a nod, and you're aware that's not enough to convey how much you want it. 

His hand reaches for the strand of hair covering your face and asks again, "Do you want it now?" 

Want, want, want. You eagerly respond in your head, but you force yourself to remain calm and say, "Yes." 

Felix nods and lands a kiss along your jaw, then drags his lips close to your ear. With a hoarse voice, he whispers, "I'll give it to you." 

His warm, soft yet firm body blankets yours as his lips bombard you with kisses, each kiss peeling away your senses along with your worries and insecurities; you eventually stop thinking altogether. 

"Excuse me for a second," he says with a kiss on your lips, getting off the bed to look for something on the bedroom floor. 

As Felix picks up his jeans from the floor, you watch the muscles on his back bunch and shift as he moves, admiring the twin indentations at the base of his spine. The view is nothing compared to when he turns around, showcasing his ethereal visuals and a godly figure of chiseled abs, not forgetting his cock in a size that demands your attention. 

He gets onto the bed, kneeling and using his teeth to tear through the foil packet to extract the condom. 

"Want to help me with it?" he offers, his eyes sparkling in the dimly lit room. 

You swallow air and say, "Yes." 

Your hands aren't steady, so you and he end up doing it together, and once you’re both done with it, he pulls you close. You shiver at the feel of your skin coming into contact; your nipples graze his chest, and his length burns against your lower belly. You suddenly feel very self-conscious. 

Felix runs his hands up and down your back as he angles his head, trying to catch your gaze but keeps failing. 

“Why won’t you look at me?” 

You look at the hollow in his collarbone and hunch your shoulders forward. "I feel—I feel naked." 

“We’re both naked," he states the obvious with a light smile. 

You don’t know how to explain that you’re not only feeling naked on the outside but also from the inside, and that if he looks into your eyes, he’d see all of you. No one wants to see that. This is supposed to be fun and educational, not soul-baring.

Felix flashes you a smile as he tilts your head by your chin, and you catch a glimpse of tender eyes before you close yours, knowing that he's about to kiss you. 

Soon, his warm lips brush over yours, tasting of him, you, and sex. His hands caress you, gently kneading the flesh of your waist before grabbing you by the thighs and hooking them around him. 

Slowly, he lowers you onto the bed and then covers your body with his. He places sweet little kisses on your jaw, your neck, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, and eventually, your lips. 

“If you don’t like it, if something hurts... I want you to talk to me, okay?" 

As always, you give him a nod before saying the words, "Okay." 

"Okay," he repeats, then sweetly kisses your lips. "Now, can you turn over for me?" 

You obey him, turning over on the bed and lying on your stomach, taking in the sight of the rumpled pillows and wooden headboard. 

"Lift your waist for me, please?" he politely demands, and you do what he asks, lifting your waist off the bed as he slips a pillow underneath. 

It takes you a moment to understand what he's doing. In this position, he chooses not to let him see you, and at the same time, it makes you less self-conscious. 

"Is this better?" he asks as he places a hot kiss on the skin behind your ear. 

"Yes," you say, feeling comfortable already, but you don't think about how you can't see him and what he's going to do to you. 

A low sigh escapes your lips as his rough hand glides down your back and massages the flesh in voluptuous motions. His firm chest brushes against your shoulder blades as he props an arm on the bed next to you. 

You take a deep inhale as his hand reaches between your thighs, his fingers searching through your folds and sinking deep, pumping fresh essence out of you until it drips around them. As if that isn't enough, he teases your clitoris with gentle touches. 

"Felix..." you desperately call his name. 

"You're ready, mmh?" he asks, planting a soft kiss on the nape of your neck. 

Soon, his hard length prods at your entrance and pushes its way inside, painstakingly slow, as if he wants you to feel every inch of that delicious cock stretching you out. 

All this time, you thought sex was repulsive, uncomfortable and painful—something you kept avoiding because your past experiences validated those thoughts—until now. With Felix, you feel nothing but intensifying pleasure even after he is fully sheathed inside you. 

"Oh, you feel too good," he whispers into your ear with a low growl. 

His words make you feel all sorts of things, and you should say something about him too—how good he feels inside you, how he fills you perfectly. You try to speak like he’s asked you to, but all that comes out are gasps and sighs of pleasure. Instead, you try to communicate with your body, spreading your thighs wider for him and trying to match him thrust for thrust. 

His tattooed hand propped against the mattress captures yours, and he interlaces both of your fingers together. 

“Now, it's perfect," he whispers. 

For a timeless moment, you're hovering on the brink until orgasm crashes over you. He knows, but he relentlessly drives into you. You try to meet his thrusts, but you can’t quite match his strength and intensity. 

With your eyes closed, you dare to look over your shoulder, and he immediately captures your mouth, stroking his tongue deep into you. Before the last orgasm has finished, you feel another building. You're clenching hard, the tiny muscles fluttering around his cock. 

With a hoarse groan, Felix surges into you one last time, hard and shallow, sending you both to your highs. He rubs his lips against your jaw and neck, then lowers your shaking body to the bed. He holds you, wrapping his tattooed arms around you and drawing you even closer, holding you like his. 

With your eyes still shut, your fingers trail his forearm, feeling the defined muscle and the smooth skin—a combination that is utterly distracting. His scent, his warmth, and his solidness surround you, slowly lulling you into a dreamless sleep. 

Now, it's perfect, you say in your head.

-

Felix breathes in deeply, letting the warm, comforting scent of your space envelop him as he burrows into the sheets, a happy sigh escaping his lips.

Slowly, he pushes himself up from the bed, and your room looks slightly different basked in the morning sunlight. Like this, he can see the colors of the books on the shelf, the hats and scarves hanging on the bedroom door, and the succulents you keep on your windowsill. Under a different light, your room looks a lot more alive.

It's also illuminating the memories of last night—your shared laughter, the sweet sounds of pleasure that echoed around him, the rustles of the sheets as your naked bodies tangled under the duvet. A rush of warmth fills him at the recollection, but as he looks around, reality settles in: he is in your room, in your apartment, and he shouldn’t overstay his welcome.

Collecting his clothes from the floor, he dresses methodically, and once in a while, he can't help but glance back at the bed where you shared such an intimate night.

Once he's decent, he steps out of the bedroom, finding you right away in the kitchen. Your hair is in a messy bun, glasses perched slightly askew on your nose, and you're dressed in a simple white t-shirt and pajama pants. You are focused on reading something on your phone while quietly eating from a bowl.

“Morning,” he greets, his voice deeper in the morning air, startling you slightly.

“Morning,” you reply, a soft smile lighting up your face.

As he continues buttoning his shirt, he slides onto a vacant stool at the small dining table.

“Orange juice?” you offer, “or do you prefer coffee?”

“Not a coffee person,” he honestly replies, and you immediately pour him a glass of orange juice, your movements easy and familiar.

You turn around to put the carton of juice back into the fridge and come back with a plate of breakfast for him, serving it in front of him.

“I don’t know what you like for breakfast, but this is what I usually cook for my roommate,” you say, sliding a plate of scrambled eggs and toast toward him.

“Wow! Thank you,” he says in utter gratitude.

Felix can’t recall the last time he enjoyed a nice breakfast with the person he had a one-night stand with; usually, he’d be gone before his partner even woke.

He glances toward the door of your roommate’s bedroom, wondering if she's inside.

“The birthday girl isn’t home yet?” he asks as he lifts his fork.

“She’s probably staying over at one of her friends,” you reply, your tone casual, suggesting you are used to this arrangement.

Felix finds it convenient this way. He enjoys the intimacy of just the two of you in the calm of the morning. The presence of another person would only ruin that.

“Is that what you usually have for breakfast?” he asks, peeking into your bowl, which contains slices of fruit, granola, and yogurt.

“Yes,” you answer with a small smile.

“Ah, that explains…” he absentmindedly says, not realizing the implications of his words until you catch his gaze.

“Explain what?” you ask, your curiosity piqued.

“Uh... that explains why you’re so smart,” he lies with a casual smile, hoping to brush off any suspicion.

The truth is, your diet explains why you smell and taste so good; the thought makes him bite back a smile, recalling the events of last night.

"Oh..." your reaction is a mix of surprise and gratitude, but he's still unsure if you understand the meaning behind his words. If you do, just know that it's a compliment.

After breakfast, Felix uses your bathroom for a quick wash-up and retrieves his jacket from the sofa. He adjusts his shirt before putting it on, realizing the time has come to leave, even though he wants to stay longer.

With heavy steps, he approaches you as you stand by the door, sensing the moment is drawing to a close.

Your eyes are on him, but your hands are clasped behind your back, your eyes shimmering with a different kind of light than when he first met you. They seem more alive now, filled with warmth.

“I want to thank you for last night,” you say, a smile creeping onto your face as the memory flashes through your head as it does for him.

“No need to thank me,” he replies. He refuses to accept your thanks when you're not the only one gaining something from last night.

“We had fun last night,” he remarks, not fully realizing he is speaking for both of you.

“I mean, I don’t know about you, but I had fun last night,” he corrects himself with an awkward laugh, pressing a hand to the pulse point on his neck out of nervousness.

“I had— I had fun last night,” you shyly remark, looking away for a second to compose yourself before looking back at him, a shy smile still lingering.

“That's good to know,” he replies, catching your shyness as it creeps into his demeanor.

A moment passes in silence as you look at each other. He has so many things to say, but no words are spoken. He can see that you're struggling to fathom your thoughts into words too.

“Felix,” you call in a different tone from the way you called him last night, yet it makes his heart flutter the same.

“Yes?” he answers, his heart beating in anticipation.

You open your mouth, but no words come out, then close it again, thinking hard about whether to say it or not.

“You can talk to me,” he assures you, his hand flying to your elbow and gently holding it.

Taking a deep breath, you finally close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his in a quick, unexpected kiss.

The surprise electrifies him, but the briefness leaves him wanting more. He quickly decides it's best to ask for forgiveness later rather than permission. He cups your jaw and leans in for a proper kiss; eventually, his lips meet yours in a kiss that means so much more than that: it's a tender connection that feels just right.

As much as he likes it, he knows he has to let go eventually. He slowly pulls away, only to see a smile blooming on your face, and his lips reflexively follow suit, smiling back at you.

“I hope that’s okay,” he murmurs, but he knows he's not sorry at all for what he did.

You nod, your smile shy yet genuine. "That’s—”

Suddenly, the door swings open, and Rex stumbles in, making a ruckus with her arrival as the keys jangle in her hand and her shoes drop onto the floor, oblivious to the intimate moment unfolding between you two.

“Oh?” she gasps, stopping in her tracks when she finally notices the two of you. Her eyes glance between you and Felix.

“Oh!!!” she exclaims again when she recognizes Felix as the guy you kissed for a dare last night.

Realizing she's interrupted something private, she hurriedly clutches her purse close to her chest and dashes into her bedroom, shouting, “I’m not here!”

The moment is shattered nonetheless, and Felix knows he can't stay here for as long as he wants, not when your roommate is now present.

“I'd better go,” he says, even though he hasn’t planned anything beyond that.

“Okay,” you say in a way that makes you sound defeated.

“Okay,” Felix repeats, hoping you would say something to extend the moment just a bit longer.

But good things often come to an end. Felix shoves his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and takes a good look at you one last time, imprinting it in the back of his mind.

“It was nice to meet you,” he earnestly says with one hand on the doorknob.

“Me too,” you reply, your smile soft and genuine, lingering in his thoughts even as he steps out of your life.

At least, for now.

-

Here you are again, surrounded by the pulsing energy of the club with Rex and her friends. You’re still the same shy, nerdy girl, yet somehow, you handle the scene better now. It's a familiar chaos, except that tonight, it's harder to ignore Felix’s absence.

Noticing that you're not having fun like everyone else, Rex leans in closer to talk against the loud music playing in the club.

“Are you disappointed that he’s not here?” she asks, her alcohol-tinted breath brushing your ear.

“Why should I be disappointed?” You scoff, trying to mask the truth. But deep down, you are counting every second since you walked in without seeing him.

“You think I didn't know that you’ve been secretly watching the door?" Rex chuckles, almost spitting her drink. "Or the way you get a little excited whenever you spot a blonde guy?"

Guilty as charged. You are caught, but admitting it feels like opening a wound. You tried not to dwell on it, convincing yourself it was just a one-night stand and these feelings... they'll eventually fade, right?

“Don’t worry,” Rex says as she gently squeezes your knee. “He’s probably still on the way.”

“He didn’t even ask for my number, Rex,” you confess, finally voicing the disappointment that has been gnawing at you ever since that day.

“Then fuck him!” she exclaims, fierce as always. “There are plenty of cute guys, and I'm sure we can find one tonight.”

"No, thank you," you flatly reject the offer.

"Why not?" Rex asks, her eyes studying you.

You scoff again, but inside, the truth lingers: you're still hung up on him.

“Because you’ve already drunk too much," you choose to lie instead, taking her drink from her hand.

Suddenly, someone enters the booth, and you recognize him instantly, even with his bleached hair slicked back. Your heart leaps at the sight of Felix. He looks just as perfect as you remember, but doubt creeps in. Does he remember that night as vividly as you do?

He stands across the table, drink in hand, smiling at you, but you manage a polite smile back, not wanting to set yourself up for another disappointment.

“How about a round of ‘Never Have I Ever’?” he suggests out of the blue, his deep voice drawing everyone’s attention.

"Yes, let's do that!" Rex enthusiastically responds while raising her drink higher in front of her.

Felix trails the rim of his glass with his tattooed finger as he thinks of something, and a while later, his eyes fiercely stare at you with a sly smile dancing on his face.

“Never have I ever... made out with a guy in a dark alley, bumped my head on a crate, gotten three stitches, and still proceeded to give him a night he can’t forget?”

A rush of warmth washes over you, either from his eyes that don’t stray away from yours even for a second or the fact that he still remembers everything. You smile nonetheless, feeling the flutter in your chest returning.

Everyone goes silent, glancing around, unsure who might have done that, except for Rex, who squeals next to you like a giddy child.

“I have,” you confidently say, out loud with a proud smile.

You take the drink from Rex’s hand and drink it in one go, wincing at the bitter aftertaste but recovering quickly.

You daringly stare back into his eyes as you take the next turn. “Never have I ever regretted not asking someone for their number?”

“I have,” he replies without missing a beat and downs his shot in one gulp.

Felix places the empty glass on the table, walks over to you, and holds his hand out to you. “Now, I dare you to come with me.”

It isn't a dare when it's exactly what you want; it's a wish come true. You take his inked hand, feeling the warmth radiate from his skin, and let him lead you away from the table and into the night.

In the dark alley where it all started, Felix pulls you close until your bodies collide, wrapping his arms around you. Impatiently, he kisses you hard and deep, full of longing.

The kiss is intoxicating, even better than you remember, and as he steers you away from the crates lining the alley to avoid any mishaps, you softly laugh.

Felix leans his back against the brick wall and holds you close, his face lingering only inches away from yours, breath mingling in the cool night air.

“Let’s avoid visiting the hospital tonight,” he playfully says.

In that dark alley, with the world falling away around you, you realize you don’t want this to ever end. You lean in, capturing his lips once more, and you melt into the kiss, bracing yourself for what you're about to ask and the answer you'll get.

“So, what now?” you ask, your fingers caressing his cheek, tracing the contours of his face.

“We can start by finishing the poem,” he says, a playful glint filling his eyes, reminding you of the lines you have barely gotten through that night.

You grin as the weight of the time you spent worrying about not seeing him again lifts off your shoulders. “Okay, but I think I need a new beginning for this one.”

This time, you know what you want, and what you want is more nights like this, more moments, and more of whatever this is between you and him, and that’s the only dare you're doing tonight: to find out what that is.

-

“(i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens; only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.”

-

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[dollishmehrayan]

# “ME AND MY HUSBAND WE’RE STICKING TOGETHER.” ── .✦ ( this just a brainrot drabble of bruce wayne && mrs. wayne because I’m obsessed with this mini series ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ )

a/n: i love infecting this type of brain-rot into you guys omg like genuinely it’s a slight problem i have to stop for a while because it GETS to a point😭😭, anywayss here i guess 🧍🏻‍♀️tags: (bruce wayne x fem!reader/batmom)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

The lights of Gotham’s grandest ballroom sparkled like stars fallen to earth, casting an ethereal glow over the sea of designer gowns, sharp suits, and dazzling jewelry. The annual Wayne Foundation Gala was in full swing, a spectacle of wealth and power that captured the city’s fascination every year. Reporters lined the velvet ropes outside, cameras flashing as Gotham’s elite ascended the marble steps of the historic venue.

But tonight, all eyes were on you and Bruce Wayne.

When the two of you arrived, the murmur of the crowd outside turned into a roar. The whispers started almost immediately, a ripple of surprise and intrigue as the media scrambled to capture every angle of your entrance.

You walked beside Bruce, your hand resting lightly on his arm. Your gown a masterpiece in midnight blue satin clung to your frame with an elegance that seemed almost otherworldly, the fabric shimmering faintly under the streetlights. The diamond earrings you wore caught the light with every step, but it was the confidence in your stride and the warmth in your expression that truly captivated the crowd.

Bruce, ever the enigma, looked every bit the part of Gotham’s most eligible billionaire and bachelor. His tailored black suit was immaculate, and his usually reserved demeanor seemed to soften when he looked at you. It was a subtle thing the way his gaze lingered on you as you ascended the stairs, the faint smile tugging at his lips—but the cameras caught it all.

The tabloids were going to have a field day.

Inside the ballroom, the air was heavy with the scent of fresh roses and expensive champagne. Crystal chandeliers hung high above, their light refracting in a kaleidoscope of colors across the polished floors. Bruce guided you through the throng of guests, his hand firm at the small of your back, as if silently promising to shield you from the inevitable onslaught of questions.

And they came, as they always did.

The whispers were relentless as you mingled, weaving through the crowd like threads in a tapestry. Who was she? Where had she come from? How long had she and Bruce been together? Speculation about your background and your relationship with Gotham’s most elusive bachelor flooded the room.

“She’s stunning,” someone murmured behind a raised champagne flute.

“But where did she come from? She’s not one of the usual socialites,” another voice responded, tinged with curiosity.

Bruce ignored the comments with his usual stoic grace, but you couldn’t help catching fragments of the conversations as you moved through the room. You were used to the scrutiny, though. Being with Bruce meant living under a microscope, and while the attention could be suffocating, you’d learned to wear it like armor.

“Smile,” Bruce whispered into your ear as the two of you paused near a towering floral arrangement. His voice was low and teasing, but there was a hint of concern in his eyes. “You’re doing great, make sure to keep your eyes focused on the camera’s slightly.

You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, offering him a wry smile. “I wasn’t aware I was being graded.”

He laughed softly, his fingers brushing against yours in a fleeting gesture of reassurance. “You’re acing it.”, “really? Am i bruce??”

── .✦

Despite the intensity of the evening, Bruce never strayed far from your side. His presence was a constant, grounding you amid the whirlwind of flashing cameras and probing questions. Every time a journalist approached, Bruce would deftly redirect the conversation, shielding you from anything too invasive.

But the media frenzy outside was relentless. The headlines were already being written:

"Bruce Wayne’s Mystery Date Stuns at the Wayne Gala"

"Who is Gotham’s New It Girl?"

"A Love Story in the Making? Inside Bruce Wayne��s Relationship with (your name) Wayne"

As the night wore on, you found yourself on the balcony, stealing a moment of quiet away from the crowd. The cold air bit at your skin, but the solitude was worth it. Bruce joined you moments later, his jacket draped over his arm. Without a word, he slipped it around your shoulders, the warmth of the fabric a welcome relief from the chill, you weren’t gonna lie you got why every celebrity seemed to ‘hate’ paparazzi && fame.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice soft in the quiet.

You nodded, your gaze fixed on the city skyline. “Just needed a breather. It’s… a lot.”

He leaned against the railing beside you, his expression thoughtful. “They’ll talk. They always do. But none of it matters.”

You turned to face him, your lips curving into a small smile. “I know. It’s just… overwhelming sometimes, not used to this kind of attention..”

Bruce reached out, his fingers brushing against yours before wrapping them in his warm grip. “You don’t have to face it alone,” he said, his voice firm but tender. “Not tonight. Not ever.”

For a moment, the rest of the world faded away. It was just the two of you, standing under the Gotham sky, the distant hum of the gala forgotten. And as Bruce pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, you realized that no headline, no rumor, no amount of scrutiny could ever overshadow the quiet, steadfast connection you shared.

Inside, the gala continued, the music and laughter spilling out into the night. But out on the balcony, you and Bruce found something far more valuable peace, however fleeting, in each other’s company.

[everestgale]

Whatever you're trying to do right now, you don't have to do it alone.

------

Happy New Year's Eve, Slay the Princess community!

A long, long message and credits to the designs are under the cut.

[Please excuse any awkward sentences, weird repetitions, and grammatical mistakes, I've been awake for 20 hours or so]

I cannot describe how much joy I feel right now, finally getting this drawing done. I feel nothing but joy when I think about Slay the Princess, and I feel nothing but pure adoration when I think about and spend time in this community. This game and this community truly brought a lot of happiness to me and made this otherwise unremarkable, maybe even depressing, year that much brighter. I wish I had more and better words to describe what I'm feeling right now! Genuinely, I don't have words to describe how much gratitude I feel right now.

And so for my final piece of 2024, I wanted to make a thank you drawing to this community and hopefully express the fraction of love and gratitude I feel right now. And I decided to make that drawing a group photo of 30 different Heroes! It ended up being 29 Heroes and one Opportunist, but I promise there is a reason for that-

If I had more time and energy, I would've included even more people, there are so many skilled artists, writers, and wonderful people in general who ended up excluded, especially due to this drawing being a voice-centered piece. But I'm glad I at least get to highlight some of the wonderful creators and artists in this community! Please check them out and support their work! They are all amazing <3

If you wanted to know who is the author behind each design, I made an annotated version! Sorry if the text is too small, I tried my best to write it as large as I could T-T

------

Now onto the message to the people in the drawing:

First! I sincerely apologize if I missed some details with your Hero design, or if I used an outdated version of it. I wanted to keep this a surprise, and for some of these, I had to dive into the depths of Tumblr to find (hopefully) relevant references. And yes, if you've received a DM from me about your Hero in the past few weeks or so, this project was the reason why! And if you've received an anonymous ask about your Hero, there is a quite good chance it was from me, too <3

And second! I have a message for each and every one of you:

@acethekenku: Your designs are so well-made and awesome! Especially adore your Broken and Contrarian, there's something about them that just immediately catches my eye! Your Contrarian's fashion and DIY skills are also immaculate :]

@artificial-radiance: Your art is absolutely wonderful, whether it's Slay the Princess, Destiny 2, or sonas! I wish I had a better word to describe your art, but the best I got is "delicious" /lh

@beartitled: I adore your StP comics! I adore your drawings of male!Princesses! I adore your non-StP work! Everything you make is so charming, and it's always a joy to see your work <3

@bubblybloob: One of my favorite fanart memes, to this day, is your old "I do not control the speed at which princesses die" meme. I still go re-read it sometimes when I'm not feeling great, it always puts a smile on my face (yes, this is my kind of humor). Though, your new voice designs are SO creative and unique! Love the fluffy Para and the prophetic cage Skeptic especially, but they are all so good <3

@coldranger: Your lads! So simple and yet so well-designed and expressive! That roadrunner Hunted you shared yesterday is so adorable, I can't with him! It is always wonderful to see more of your drawings. Also thanks for gushing with me over mod Owl's designs <3

@cookiealchemieart: I recently mentioned that you are one of my first Tumblr follows, and it's for a good reason! You made a lot of wonderful illustrations, and your three fan princesses are some of my favorites of all the ones I've seen before! And your voice designs, gosh, I am hugging your Contrarian-

@dampfur: Your art is unbelievably charming! And when I saw your Burned Bridges post with redesigns for Cold and Smittten, I absolutely fell in love with them. I will use this space to gush about just how simple and yet adorable and recognizable they are!

@glitchh1337: Always love seeing what you are up to on Discord! Whether it's design concepts for voices or little pixel art animations, they are all wonderful :]

@justcherryqwq: Your animations!!! Cherry, your animations are pure gold. The way you draw voices as little guys flying around the scene/the Long Quiet is just too perfect. I am also grabbing and petting your Paranoid, gently, of course!

@occatorcreator: You have one of the most unique voice designs/representations I've ever seen! Especially in that one post where you drew voices taking over Long Quiet's body, the way you drew the "possession" is just... so unique, so cool! I wish I had better words!

@orcatnip: I cannot describe how much delight your sketches bring me whenever they show up on my dash! And the way you wrote about voices appearing as fractures in Long Quiet's soul! Oh! Genuinely obsessed!!!

@pareidolla: Your voice designs are very pretty and very adorable! As you can see, I immediately had to try drawing your current iteration of Hero because he is SO PRETTY! I couldn't help myself. Sorry if I was too hasty in my decision to include an in-progress design, but I wanted you to be included here-

@remaking-machine: Rema!!! Your voices!!! They are so precious and charming! Love your Cheated, love your Hero, love your Skeptic! You were one of the first people I found & followed on Tumblr, and it's been such a joy to see what you're up to <3 [Also, I still would like a tray of Hero cookies-]

@salty-an-disco: Your writing, at least from what I've seen of it, is awesome! I genuinely wish I had the attention span to read your Heathens AU because whenever I see you talk about it, or draw anything for it, I love it a lot! Hopefully one day I will, but for now, I am here to admire your art :]

@sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now: Hey, who let this bird-fox into this gathering of Heroes-

Jokes aside, I am absolutely obsessed with your voice designs, and I really, really wanted to include you in this drawing, despite the fact that you are still working on your Hero design. Thank you for letting me include your Opportunist in this drawing, I cannot WAIT to see your Hero design <3

@tai-janai: Your drawings are so delightful, and I love the way you draw your voices! Your voice shipping sketches are also so adorable, and your HeA-inspired ParaHero sketch sometimes decides to show up in my head and not pay any rent (I love it a lot)!

@voiceofthebroken: Remember how I mentioned that your Cheated post inspired one of my upcoming projects? Yes, it was this one. You are responsible for this /lh

Don't want to repeat myself too much from the ask I sent yesterday, but I will once again say that I love your voice designs, and I will once again compliment your Cheated and Hunted. They are precious! <3

@wysteriaisapenguin: Your art is so charming and so recognizable! Your most recent HeA drawing is absolutely stealing my heart in a way that I cannot describe!!! I also really like your Hero design, he was an absolute joy to draw <3

------

Oh look, there's more, too!

@sonjalikestodraw: Sonja! Oh Sonja, everything you make is just SO PERFECT, your pieces are always so stellar and carefully crafted, and your voice designs are so thoughtful and so iconic, I love it every time you make a post with a little write-up of your design notes! It's always such a joy to read!!

0th: To say that your designs and your writing inspired my own would be saying nothing at all, they were some of the first I've seen! They will always have a special place in my heart as "the designs" that greatly contributed to my own final designs! And your Swap AU still is one of my favorites in the whole fandom, love all the unique designs you made for it!! Noble my beloved <3

@itsonlypolite: The way your voices ingrained themselves in my brain, I cannot describe it! Your designs are truly some of the most unique, most recognizable designs in the fandom. You deserve every single positive comment and compliment on your art and designs!!! I also love how you reply to people's asks with little drawings of your own. It's so charming and welcoming <3 It's also always pure joy talking to you!

@cammie-yammie: I am very glad that I got over my anxiety and started talking more and hanging out in your thread! I love your art, always so charming, so distinctly you, just such joy to look at, and I'm glad I got to engage with it more, and with you as a person!!! Damn, these sentences are confusing lol Long story short, love your art, love talking to you, and it's just pure joy either way <3

@lavb-b: I am not kidding when I say that your Businessman animation rewired something in my brain, whenever I watch it, I cannot stop myself from laughing, even though at this point I've seen it like 20+ times already. Besides that, your art in general is just such high-quality work, and I love talking to you on the Discord server! Welcoming you with open arms to EG's Yap Central Station /lh

@phantasmatoucan (mod Owl): OWL HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS- You have no idea how obsessed I am with your art, you have SUCH a distinct, awesome style, and the way you designed your voices brings me so, so much joy. And not only are you a skilled artist with amazing voice designs, but you are also just such a positive person, too!!! How is this possible!!! What's your secret!!!

@hello-universe-lovers: Your reblog comments always make me happy, and I absolutely love chatting with you!!! The little interaction you wrote between our Cheateds brought me so much joy as I was finishing this project <3 And even besides that, your art is so charming, and also apparently you are a wizard who draws everything with your finger- I cannot understand such witchcraft /lh

@neverpathia: You are the reason I QPR-ship ParaHero! You got these birds in my brain, and I can't get them out, how dare you (/lh). Jokes aside, I really like your writing, especially the way you write voices, and your art is also very pretty, I love it a lot! It's also such a joy to have you hang out in my art thread, thanks for doing that :]

@disarraydoodlez: Jam! And Kiri! Your art is so iconic, Kiri's desire for perfection never goes unnoticed, and Jam's chaotic silly ideas are always such a highlight (I'm still waiting for you to finish that one Den idea. The one we kept laughing about for like 30 minutes. That one). Thanks for inviting me to the PotC one-shot, I had a lot of fun playing it, and I'm glad we still hang out and chat sometime! Love everything you make, regardless of the fandom, and I can't wait to see what you both will make next <3

@s3viien (they mostly exist on BSky, check them out there!): Sev! My partner in crime! One of my biggest cheerleaders, you have no idea how much how dearly I appreciate it. I love sharing all my random ideas with you, and I love hearing about all of yours! Your art, your videos, and your music are all PEAK, and I'm always happy to see what you've been up to! To our friendship for as long as it lasts <3

@inkedout: And last but certainly and absolutely not least, Ink, my friend, you are one of the big reasons why I feel as comfortable writing all of this right now as I am right now. I cannot put into words just how much I appreciate you as a friend!! it is always such a joy to talk to you, whether it's about StP, or ATR, or a different fandom, or just life in general! I love seeing all your art, your OCs, and anything else you might have <3

Also voice shipping. There are certain ships, you probably know which ones, that are now stuck in my head because of you. I blame you /lh

-----

I believe that should be all I have to say! Happy New Year's Eve again, and I will see you all in 2025!

[grimm-writings]

pathetic

…ft! dan heng, topaz, argenti, seele x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, pining, reader is oblivious as HELL!!!, seele’s slightly suggestive

…wc! 210 ; 319 ; 258 ; 305 = 1092

…notes! pathetic crushing… i cannot and will not ever stop vouching for pathetic pining in this house !!!!!!!

Dan Heng is painfully aware of how he looks right now.  If it wasn’t March giving him the biggest shit-eating grin, it was Himeko trying hard to look polite as she hides her giggles, or even Mr Yang pretending he isn’t paying attention.

You.  You really haven’t the slightest clue what you’re doing to him.

Every time you visit him in the Express’s archives, Dan Heng would light up.  He wouldn’t do that for any such person usually.  His excuse is that you bring him snacks.  You would never complain, saying that you’d take this Dan Heng over the one with a poker face and sarcastic bites, even if he is just as cute.

How can you say that so casually?

One particular visit, he couldn’t take your sweet words any longer.  His hand envelops yours before you could turn away from him.  The way you look back at Dan Heng makes his heart swell in ways he couldn’t comprehend.

He couldn’t get the words out.

His grip loosens and he lets you go, albeit with confusion on your face.

The door closes with a quiet goodbye, and Dan Heng throws his head back in frustration, staring at the decorated ceiling above him.

How can he go on like this...?

Topaz is not the kind of person to sit idly by waiting for something to happen.  She knows what she wants, and what she wants takes the shape of you.

You’re just so adorable!  Really, the way you act so clueless whenever you flirt with her is just so endearing!  How could she not melt?

…Well, it used to be easy.  Flirting, complimenting you, relishing in how you react; she even asked you out to dinner, and took you to the nicest place possible!  …But you’re still so shocked every time.  You still didn’t pick up on any of her advances.

For once, Topaz is at a complete loss.  What is she to do?  Grab you by the shoulders and shake you around telling you that she’s completely enamoured with everything about you, and though that includes your cluelessness, she can’t take much of it anymore?

She could nearly keel over.  Complete overkill.  She needs to be smart about this; clear, but also suave and mature.  Yeah, she can do this!

That’s how you find Numby making their way up to you, and there they drop a card in front of your feet.  They curiously look up at you as you read, although you could sense another pair of eyes watching you closely.

‘You’re cute!  Go out with me!  Love, Topaz!’

Topaz could nearly explode from joy watching your face heat up.  Finally.  Finally!  You get it now, don’t you?!

Her heart steps as you throw the card away and lean down and pet Numby.  “Oh, Numby.  Someone must have put you up to this for a prank, huh?  You should find your way back to Topaz!”

Said companion of the Warp Trotter has already fallen to her knees with her face in her hands.  You’re more work than she bargained for… but she’ll be struck down by an Aeon before she gives up on you!  Just watch her!

Argenti doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Truly, he’s making all the right moves.  He’s following examples from stories and myths, step by step.  It’s not his fault that they always end up going wrong somehow.  Maybe it’s just harsh luck…

He’s on one knee, taking your hand in his own.  Like you are royalty, he kisses the back of it, and looks up at you.

“Thank you for saving me!”  You beam, and Argenti’s brain freezes.

That’s how it all goes wrong, every single time.

He’s hopeless, how the knight of beauty stands up, turns around, and immediately feels his knees buckle and he’s down on the ground again.  Maybe he’ll stay like this for a few minutes when he finishes crying.

He feels you kneel at his side, and prod against his armour.  “Argenti…?” your sweet, sweet voice calls out to him quietly.

“Worry not.  I am simply fighting the dirt in your honour.  Keeping the worms off of you.”

You pause.  He wouldn’t dislike being buried here like this.  Then he hears your confused laughter.  “Alright then!  Thank you very much, sir knight!”

You pet his hair and stand up again, making your way back to a safe zone.

Yes, Argenti thinks, I will stay here and fend off the insects for you, my dear.  And that is the only reason why I can’t move…

He certainly refuses to believe it’s your patience and kindness.  How silly would it be for a knight of beauty to become so immobilised by it!  How silly indeed…

Seele encourages you to stand up again.  A simple sparring doesn’t do too much harm every now and again.  She isn’t Luka; she won’t beg you for a match, but practice is good, and practice is better if it’s with a friend.

Haha.  Keep telling yourself that, Seele. 

Is it obvious yet she really wants you to just defeat her already?  She knows you have it in you.  Yeah, you’re more on the air-headed side, but you’re a reliable teammate!  Maybe it’s the fact you refuse to actually hurt her…

You apologise again when you’re back on your feet.  She doesn’t want any apologies, dang you!  Can’t you see she’s just desperate to get you to at least brush your knuckles against hers as her scythe comes in conflict with your blade?!

…So that does it.  In her mental ramblings, you manage to get her on the ground beneath you.  Your thighs cage her under you as you push her down.  Aeons, your smile is so wide.

“I got you!” you exclaim.

Seele can’t help the small laugh that escapes her.  She hopes that her face is only red to you because of your fighting.  You’re so close to her face.  You could just kiss her right now…

“Yep, you really did!” is what comes out, shakier than she would have liked.  How did you get her so weak?  You’re not even making a big deal over straddling her like this…

You shimmy off her eventually, offering your hand out.  “Time for lunch?”

Seele doesn’t move for a few seconds, before letting you pick her up.  If not a kiss, she can at least get some quality time.  The way you smile at her is enough for her.

…How you pushed her down will definitely haunt her dreams for the next week or so, though.

[wildflowerteas]

IM GOING TO

Hellstie wtf is tsp

gripping the table nails digging in the wood blood everywhere. im so glad u asked :)

the second perspective is a bsd fic for both skk and sskk (both with about equal screentime for anyone with favourites) and it’s an insanely well-written murder mystery by @wildflowerteas. like genuinely @tallysescape has an actual physical conspiracy wall and @rotisseries has made a map of all the relevant locations. it updates every sunday and finally I’ve caught up so we all go insane about it on a gc bc like I said ITS SO INSANELY WELL WRITTEN AND THE TWISTS ARE INSANE THE PACING IS INSANE THE CHARACTERISATION IS INSANE I GENUINELY CANNOT FAULT THIS FIC WHICH IS CRAZY TO SAY OF ANY FIC BUT IN THE BSD FANDOM IS DOWNRIGHT REVOLUTIONARY

[donttxtathebeach]

Y/n Nolan & Drew Starkey | Actors on Actors

masterlist

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word count: 9.3K

warning: talks of childhood hod, growing up in hollywood

Don't forget to reblogg and let me know what you guys think.

behind the scenes:

Y/n and Drew sit down for variety's actors on actors for a candid conversation to reflect on their careers, their personal journeys through Hollywood

Y/n Nolan & Drew Starkey | Actors on Actors

50M views 1 month ago Actors on Actors | Variety - The PodcastY/n Nolan  (‘Anora’) and Drew Starkey (‘Queer’) sit down for a candid conversation to reflect on their careers, their personal journeys through Hollywood, and the roles that have defined them. The discussion touches on y/n’s breakthrough at a young age and the vast array of work she has accomplished, including playing some of the most iconic characters in contemporary horror films. At the same time, Drew opens up about his experience working with legendary actor Daniel Craig, along with his struggle to avoid being pigeonholed into a particular role.

Intro

“Blimey hell, Drew, did you ask him about James Bond?” Y/n says, her voice rich with a classic English lilt, so natural and effortless that it feels like the words are floating out with ease. Her eyes, framed by her signature striking features, twinkle with mischief. “Knowing Daniel, I’m sure he loved it.”

Drew looks slightly amused, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “He just kind of started talking about it,” he says, as though it was a conversation that naturally rolled into place—nothing forced, just genuine moments spilling out.

“That sounds like Daniel,” Y/n replies knowingly, her tone dripping with a fondness that only comes from knowing someone for years. Her voice softens as she adds, “He’s very much like that. A bit of a showman, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. Some were fake,” Drew quips with a grin, half-joking, half-posing it as an inside joke.

“Just say they’re real,” she teases, a playful glint in her eyes. Her smile is wide and charming, her tone teasing but warm.

“They’re all real,” Drew responds with a smile that broadens into a full, cheeky grin. “Everything. Everything’s real.”

Jazzy, upbeat music plays briefly as they both settle into the conversation, the camera cutting back to them with soft light casting a flattering glow on their faces.

Drew leans in slightly, his tone sincere as he admires Y/n. “Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person. I must say, I am such a big fan of your work. I mean, you’re only 25, have 5 Oscars, 9 Emmys, and you just won a Golden Globe—that’s incredible.”

Her laughter rings out, clear and melodic, as she blushes at the lavish compliment. She tucks a strand of her platinum blonde hair behind her ear, clearly caught off guard by the sheer number of accolades he listed. “Wow, all this flattery—thank you so much. Truly, it means so much,” she says, the sincerity of her words tempered by a humble laugh. Her eyes shine with appreciation but also with a touch of disbelief that all these accolades are being attributed to her.

“Drew Starkey,” she continues, her tone shifting slightly to more familiar ground, “it is a pleasure to see you again.” Y/n extends her hand toward him, her touch elegant and graceful. There’s no pretense, just an open gesture of respect and camaraderie.

“Likewise, Miss Nolan,” Drew replies with equal warmth. His voice, smooth and composed, betrays a deep level of respect for the woman in front of him. He meets her eyes with a hint of admiration, which speaks volumes about the genuine rapport they share.

“This is funny to me,” she starts, her expression turning playful again. “I was talking to Daniel the other day, we ran into eachother at some coffee shop, about how we’re doing this interview, and he’s like, ‘Drew cannot talk to women to save his life, especially pretty ones like yourself.’ But you seem fine,” she says, teasing Drew with a smirk, clearly enjoying the moment of light-hearted banter.

Drew bursts out laughing, the sound filling the air around them. “Well, it is good to see you. We met, what, a couple of weeks ago?” He flashes a grin, clearly enjoying the opportunity to revisit their brief encounter.

“Yes, we did—quite briefly though,” y/n answers, her voice dipping slightly as she recalls their first interaction. “We stopped mid-conversation because you were like, ‘Let’s save it, but it was in a respectful way since i also had to go.’”

“Yeah,” Drew agrees, nodding thoughtfully. “’Cause we knew we were talking here. Well, at least I… knew,” he says, laughing again, a little sheepishly as he recalls how the timing of their first conversation worked out.

“In all honesty,” y/n adds with a laugh, “you told me, and I just looked at you funny because I had not been aware of that at all yet.” She tilts her head, her eyes wide with playful disbelief. Her laughter is contagious, and the moment feels entirely spontaneous and genuine, like two friends catching up after a long time apart.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could tell that was your first time hearing about it, so I paused our conversation,” Drew says, shaking his head slightly, as if amused by how little he was able to prepare her for the interview. His voice has a smooth cadence, almost as if he’s recalling a funny memory.

“How are you doing?” Drew asks, his voice softer now, shifting from the playful banter to a more grounded, sincere tone. He leans in slightly, interested in how she has  been feeling lately, his warm gaze making it clear that the question is about more than just small talk.

she smiles warmly, her posture softening as she responds. “I’m doing quite well, love. I had a lovely iced latte this morning,” she starts, almost savoring the memory of a peaceful morning moment. She gestures as if bringing Drew into the picture, sharing the simple pleasure of the experience.

“What did you get, honey?” Drew asks, the nickname rolling off his lips effortlessly. It’s both sweet and casual, the kind of endearing phrase one uses for close friends.

she lets out a soft laugh, her eyes sparkling as she recalls her morning ritual. “Well, I got coffee with my dearest friend, Elle Fanning, and we went to our favorite coffee shop in LA, i will tell you the name later because i would like to keep it priavate. I love a good iced latte, but I got a Maple Sea Salt Latte. It had Vermont maple syrup simmered with sea salt, and it was just lovely,” she says, her words painting a vivid picture. Her voice is warm and relaxed, and as she describes the drink, it feels as though she’s sharing a secret joy—something small yet meaningful that anchored her day.

Drew, listening intently, can’t help but admire her ability to convey even the smallest moments with such grace. “That sounds amazing,” he responds, a note of awe in his voice. He’s caught up in the moment, picturing the maple syrup and sea salt melding together, and the sense of peace Abbie must’ve felt.

“How about you? How has everything been going for you?” y/n asks, her voice turning softer now, laced with genuine curiosity. She leans in a little closer, her eyes searching his face, not just as a co-worker but as someone who truly cares.

“It’s good. It’s good,” Drew replies, his tone calm but content. “I’m here in LA, which is nice. Have a little break for a little while.” He leans back in his chair, allowing the conversation to breathe, a small smile forming on his lips as he speaks about the rare respite. He looks at her as if he’s grateful for the moment of stillness amidst his busy schedule.

Y/n nods understandingly, her eyes glinting with empathy. “I can imagine,” she says. “A break must feel like a gift in this crazy world.”

The warmth between them is palpable, an ease that only comes from two people who understand the delicate balance of life in the industry—the highs, the lows, and everything in between. The conversation feels like a dance, full of humor, sincerity, and the kind of bond that only two actors who’ve lived through similar experiences can share.

As they continue, the camera zooms out slightly, capturing the intimate yet casual nature of their conversation, the kind of dialogue that could easily stretch on for hours, full of laughter, reflection, and shared understanding.

“You’re from North Carolina, correct?” y/n asks, her eyes narrowing slightly as she recalls a conversation they had before.

“yes I’m from North Carolina, yeah,” Drew answers casually, his tone easy and open, as though he’s prepared to dive deeper into his past.

“What’s that like? Tell me, because I’m actually going to be shooting a film out there quite soon that’s supposed to be set in North Carolina,” she says, her curiosity piqued. The excitement in her voice is genuine—she’s always had an affinity for learning about the places people call home.

“Yes. I’m not from the coast,” Drew begins, the words rolling out slowly as he paints the picture of his roots. “I’m from up in the mountains, kind of… Appalachia—like Southern Appalachia, in the Blue Ridge Mountains,” he continues, a hint of pride creeping into his voice. He pauses for a second, taking in the magnitude of where he’s from.

Just then, a phone starts to ring loudly in the background. Both her and Drew burst out laughing, the sound infectious. The video cuts briefly to black, then cuts back in, a moment of light-heartedness shared between them.

“So, North Carolina,” Y/n picks up again, smiling at the minor distraction, her voice still warm with interest. “Yeah, Southern Appalachia, like up in the mountains. Asheville, North Carolina area. It’s beautiful up there. Very different, though,” Drew finishes, nodding thoughtfully.

She  leans forward slightly, her interest clearly piqued. “Tell me a little bit more about Asheville because, in terms of the arts and our world, what does that mean for you growing up?” she asks, her tone sincere. She’s eager to hear how his environment influenced his journey into acting.

Drew smiles, the memories flooding back as he continues. “Strangely, it’s kind of a strange… you know, it’s, I grew up in a very rural area. There’s not a lot around. Kind of these little communities up in the mountains are very… the arts are everywhere,” he begins, the words coming slowly as he reflects on how his hometown shaped him.

“I grew up going to—there was theater, and…” He trails off for a moment, searching for the right words, but y/n quickly picks up on the thread.

“Oh,” she interjects, her face lighting up with recognition.

“Live music, and yeah, it’s strange, you know,” Drew continues, his eyes lighting up as he recalls his childhood. “And then, of course, you’re kind of smack dab in the middle of a national forest. Like, there’s nothing going on. But yeah, I was constantly surrounded by art and artists growing up. Without, like, any… any… you know, there was no kind of accessibility to doing it professionally. It wasn’t like that. It was just—it was kind of around us,” he finishes, his voice trailing off as he reflects on the seemingly paradoxical nature of his upbringing.

y/n  nods in understanding, her expression thoughtful. “I get that,” she says, empathizing with Drew’s description of growing up in an environment full of artistic influence but without the means to pursue it professionally.

“But you grew up in… are you from London?” Drew asks curios, picking up hints of an accenet, shifting gears a bit, intrigued by her background.

“No, I’m actually from Nantucket,” she replies, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “It’s actually quite an interesting story. So, my dad was from London, but his family  moved to chicago but still went back and forth from there to london. He  then moved to San Diego met my mom, and then they moved to Nantucket and had me,” she explains, the story rolling off her tongue effortlessly. She seems content, even amused, by the twist of fate that brought her into the world.

Drew, intrigued, leans in slightly, his expression warm. “Wow, that’s a lot of moving around,” he says, the tone of his voice more reflective.

“Yeah,” she continues, her smile softening. “When I was five, things happened,so its just been him and i since then i guess , but i have an accent because i picked it up from my dad’s family , I guess. It’s sort of faded over time,” she adds, a small chuckle escaping her lips. There’s no bitterness in her voice—just an acknowledgment of the path her life took.

“Tell me more about yourself, beautiful,” Drew says, his voice sincere, but also filled with curiosity. His admiration for her is palpable, but there’s a warmth that speaks of genuine interest.

Y/n  lets out a soft laugh, her cheeks flushing slightly at the compliment. “I’m what you call a ‘nepo baby,’ I presume,” she begins, her voice light but honest. “Means I’ve been acting since I was around four or five. My dad is a director, but, um, well, when my mom left, he sort of took a step back and raised me all by himself—taking me to everything I was shooting or my dance classes. But we were still living in Nantucket,” she shares, her eyes glimmering with a quiet vulnerability as she recounts her childhood.

“You were a dancer?” Drew asks, his voice filled with genuine interest.

“Yes, oh my gosh, I loved ballet,” she responds, her face lighting up at the thought of it. “If I wasn’t an actress, I would want to be a ballerina. I take classes occasionally for fun when I’m on breaks, but haven’t lately,” she adds wistfully, as if she misses the discipline and art form of ballet.

Drew grins, clearly delighted by her enthusiasm. “I love that. It’s always so cool to see someone so passionate about something.”

“How was school for you while doing all of this?” Drew asks, his curiosity continuing as he leans forward, intrigued by how she balanced everything as a child.

“I actually… my nan, my dad’s mum, she taught me—or I was taught on set ,” y/n answers, her expression softening at the thought of her grandmother. “Sort of well homeschooled in my elementary age. Then when we moved to California I started going to the same high school as Elle , but it was not easy  because everyone was constantly harassing me, and it just was trying to get something from me, but Elle never did. i di dnot end up going to college, clearly” she explains, her voice tinged with the fatigue of that early experience.

Drew nods sympathetically. “That must’ve been tough,” he says quietly, understanding the pressure that comes with growing up in the public eye.

“What about you? Did you finish school or even college?” she asks Drew, her voice curious, switching the focus back onto him.

“I did, I did. I finished college,” Drew answers, the tone of his voice indicating that this part of his life was a bit more straightforward. “I spent probably, I mean, three out of the four years trying to leave as much as I could,” he adds with a rueful chuckle, the humor in his voice undeniable.

“You know, I mean, what—you know, I think everybody has stuff that they look back on. They’re like, ‘Oh, my God,’” Drew continues, his voice light but reflective. “But yes, I mean, school—it offered me, I don’t know, ways on how to operate, and test yourself within a bubble, and then kind of go out into the world. To me, it was pretty invaluable, but my younger sister Brooke would say she learned a lot and liked it,” he finishes, his smile widening slightly as he thinks about his sister’s perspective on their shared experience.

Y/n  listens intently, her expression softening with understanding. “I get that,” she says. “You find value in everything, even the things you think you wouldn’t.”

“Tell me about Anora. How was that? How was that transition since you’ve been deemed the queen of horror movies?” Drew asks, his voice laced with genuine curiosity as he leans forward, eager to learn more about her latest project.

She  smiles, the excitement in her eyes matching Drew’s. “Well, I’m so lucky to be in a film like this,” she begins, her tone soft and grateful. “And I’m so lucky to have had such guidance from someone like my dad, and the Fanning sisters. They’ve been my biggest supporters, having become best friends with Elle on set when I was little, because she was working with my dad. We became inseparable. I was four, she was five,” y/n continues, a slight nostalgia coloring her voice as she reflects on her childhood friendship with Elle Fanning.

“But to be in the place that I am right now… it does feel… it feels surreal. I don’t know, some of it doesn’t quite feel real at times,” she admits, her smile bittersweet as she reflects on the magnitude of her career.

Drew nods, understanding the surreal nature of being in the spotlight for so long. “Filming Anora, oh my gosh,” she adds, her voice tinged with excitement. “I mean, it was completely different for me. You would think by now, in the 20 years I’ve been doing this, I would’ve been in a film like this before, but my genres never aligned with this film—mostly horror or mystery. So being in a drama/rom-com, whatever you want to classify it as, is quite new to me,” she laughs, the sound light and full of joy.

Drew chuckles along with her. “I mean, you worked for Quentin Tarantino and Sean Baker. So, did they pursue you? Did you see the script? Did you audition? How was that jump after working on Maxine?” he asks, genuinely fascinated by how these big-name directors came to cast her.

Y/n’s expression shifts, her thoughts going back to how she got involved with Anora. “So for Anora, Sean had gone and seen Pearl,” she begins, her tone steady, almost like she’s recounting a well-known story.

Drew looks intrigued. “And he went and saw it?” he asks, seeking clarification.

“Yes, he was invited to the premiere. And I think he was already sort of thinking about the plot for Anora,” she  responds, her smile growing a little as she recalls the moment. “And he cast me in it just from the film. So, it was the easiest casting process I’ve ever had to go through. I’ve never had to not audition for something before, which to me was absurd, but I was also working on Maxxine already, so I made him aware that I would have to be jumping around from set to set,” she explains, a hint of pride in her voice. “But he was pretty adamant on wanting me to play Ani.”

Drew’s interest piques further, and he asks, “So I’m curious to know, what was your preparation like physically for that?”

Y/n  considers his question carefully before answering. “Honestly, going into it because I was also filming Maxxine, I could use some of the things I had already learned from shooting Maxxine and incorporate it into Anora,” she begins. “And there were pole tricks that I wanted to learn, so I started developing my skills with that. It was an exciting process because I was getting to know a new character, but since i have a dance background already it helped shape her in a way. With Maxxine, it was following the storyline of Pearl, and I had already been immersed in her from playing her in X and Pearl, so it was so fun for me to get to understand and dive into a new character,” she says, her enthusiasm growing as she describes her deep commitment to her craft.

She  pauses for a moment, reflecting more on her preparation. “Really trying to get to immerse myself in who she is, understand her morals,” she continues. “I asked myself lots of questions about her. I wanted to really go into depth and more detail than I ever have before. So, like, I would know everything about her—like what cigarettes she smokes, what her school life was like, what her relationship with her parents is.”

Drew watches her intently, clearly impressed by the depth of her process. “Wow, that’s so in-depth,” he says.

Y/m  smiles and continues, “So when I got to Sean’s set, because he’s such an organic filmmaker, I wanted someone to ask me a question about my character and me always be able to answer it. And so I feel like I got to a place where I got there, and then obviously, I had to learn as much Russian as possible and the dialect.”

She lets out a small laugh. “So I just did little things at a time. And I think it sort of, over the course of five months, built up to this fully formed character.”

Drew laughs softly. “I bet your dad was relieved that you finally got a break since you’re the queen of horror,” he teases, enjoying the lightheartedness of the moment.

She  laughs along, nodding. “Oh gosh, when I told him about X, he was like, ‘Oh wow, that’s a big leap,’ especially since my childhood and high school years, I was in like, more family-friendly, teeny-bopper things. Then when I hit 18, everyone was like, ‘She looks made for horror movies,’ and I just sort of rolled with it.”

She pauses, her smile growing warmer as she reflects on her father’s support. “But he has always been my biggest supporter. He always gives me pointers, and I don’t know, he just never really had an issue with any role that I have done thus far,” she says, her voice soft and sincere. “I mean, he was like, ‘You’re a grown adult, you know your limits, I’m just going to be here every step of the way cheering you on.’ Even when he was filming and just directing, he was supporting me in some way, so that always meant so much to me,” she tells Drew, her voice full of gratitude.

Drew nods appreciatively, touched by the deep bond she shares with her father. “That’s amazing,” he says. “Having that kind of support makes all the difference in the world.”

Y/m  smiles, her eyes softening with affection as she recalls the unwavering encouragement she’s always received from her dad. “Yeah, it really does,” she agrees, her voice full of warmth.

What about you? This was such a big leap for you. How was filming something so different?” She asks Drew, her voice filled with excitement, eager to hear about his experience. Her curiosity radiates as she leans in, ready to listen.

Drew nods thoughtfully before answering, “You know, Luca and I talked a lot, and then I didn’t meet Daniel until we were in New York, probably a month before we shot. I met him at the table read, and so it was kind of the meeting, and then we just jumped into reading it out loud.” He pauses, reflecting on the atmosphere. “Luca does a good job of fully painting a picture for you. We also shot it in Rome at Cinecittà,” Drew adds, the excitement in his eyes evident as he recalls the legendary filming location.

She  smiles, clearly impressed. “It’s absolutely darling there,” she says, her enthusiasm matching his as she imagines the stunning backdrop. “Walking through the different stages that the movie is set in. So you kind of walk in, you’re in, you know, these incredible clothes,” Drew continues, his tone animated as he describes the experience. “But we were only there for a bit.”

, intrigued she , leans forward. “Where was the rest of it?” she asks, eager to know more. “Were you actually in the jungle?”

Drew laughs, nodding. “Like a week in Sicily on the coast. They built the set. They brought all these—Luca was like, ‘I want these plants.’ And they brought in, like, I don’t know how many thousands of pounds of whatever, of dirt. And they built a jungle.”

She raises her eyebrows, clearly fascinated. “Well, so they’re real plants?” she asks, wanting the full details.

Drew thinks for a moment before responding, “I think some were real; I think some were fake.” He looks at her with a grin. “Just say they’re real,” she teases, her smile wide as she playfully suggests an easy fix.

“They’re all real. Everything, everything’s real,” Drew says, laughing, caught up in the lighthearted moment.

Y/n  laughs too, enjoying their banter. “But yeah. So that Cinecittà Studios is like—it’s famous. Yeah,” Drew says, proud to have been part of such a historic location.

“This is so intriguing,” she  says, her eyes shining with interest. “It’s always so interesting to hear someone else’s experiences with films and everything.”

Drew nods, his expression reflective. “God, it’s wild. I think walking into that, like, the setting of it was like I knew I was walking into this kind of elevated type of feel in terms of tone. And it’s also not a direct period piece. It’s this kind of Mexico City and South America within the imagination of William S. Burroughs, you know, kind of. There’s something very absurd about it. It’s incredibly surreal and absurd,” he finishes, his voice filled with the intensity of the film’s atmosphere.

, intrigued, she presses further. “How did you understand that, from what, from the way Luca spoke about it? Or from just…” Her curiosity is evident, her expression leaning forward, wanting to grasp every bit of the creative process he’s revealing.

Drew smiles as he thinks about it. “Yeah, I think, I think so. Yeah. In conversations with Luca. I mean, he was very specific about how he wanted the world to feel,” he says, pausing for a moment. Abbie listens intently, clearly drawn to his words.

“He also gave me some visual references, some photography. There are these paintings by Francis Bacon that we looked at. Kinda two lovers. And yeah, so there were all these kinds of visual references, so that was helpful,” Drew continues, watching Abbie as she gets lost in the imagery he’s painting. She seems almost hypnotized by his description, imagining the world he was immersed in.

Y/n  nods slowly, appreciating the thoughtfulness of Drew’s preparation. “But yeah, then Daniel, I think kind of a similar situation,” Drew adds, his voice becoming more reflective. “Daniel and I, there wasn’t a lot of conversation about how we wanted it to feel or, you know, the dirty word—the chemistry between the two of us. It was just kind of exercising it and going for it. So there wasn’t a ton of rehearsal. It was a lot of talking, you know, we did like chatting two weeks prior. Just table reads. ‘Will you be around?’ ‘Yes.’ I think so, yeah,” Drew says, a shrug in his tone as he describes the informal nature of their preparation.

She looks at him, her eyes full of understanding. “Do you like rehearsing?” she asks, shifting the conversation to their own processes.

“I do, especially having worked with so many different people in that way; it allows me to become a lot more comfortable with them in that sense,” she says, her voice soft and thoughtful as she reflects on the role rehearsal plays in her own work.

Drew nods, considering her words. “What about you?” she asks the 31-year-old actor, curious about his own preferences.

“For some things, I don’t,” Drew admits. “I think I get scared of it.” He pauses, trying to put his feelings into words. “Oh, you don't? Tell me about that. How do you navigate it?” She  asks, leaning forward again, her genuine curiosity evident.

Drew looks down for a moment, his voice a little quieter. “I get—I get shy,” he confesses, the vulnerability of the moment hanging between them. She  watches him, her expression one of empathy.

“Yeah?” she asks gently.

“I get shy of saying, ‘Oh, I’ll just do it on the…’ I’ll just, yeah. And then I wouldn’t ever be like, ‘I’m saving it for the take,’ but I’m like, there’s a part of me that’s like, I can’t fully let go until I’m on doing a thing and—there’s something like when you hear ‘action’ or the cameras roll that you’re like, ‘Okay.’” Drew finishes, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he acknowledges the thrill that comes with the real take.

Y//n  laughs softly, understanding exactly what he means. “That is completely understandable. You can kind of hide behind it a little more,” she says with a knowing smile. “As a performer in general, like for me, I mean…” she starts, her voice taking on a more serious tone. She shifts slightly in her seat, crossing her legs, clearly about to share something more personal. “When I was filming X, Pearl, and Maxxine, Pearl was basically an adult film star. So learning how to be comfortable with that—especially having finished the black coat’s daughter —it was weird,” she says, her voice trailing off as she reflects on the challenges she’s faced in her own work.

Drew listens intently, his expression softening as he connects with her openness. “Yeah, that’s got to be a lot,” he responds thoughtfully.

She nods, grateful for the understanding. “It was, but you learn to adapt and grow through the process,” she says, a hint of strength in her voice as she embraces the complexity of her roles. In Anora, you have such a presence always about you,” Drew begins, his voice filled with admiration. “And I think there’s a stillness, confidence, and danger about, like, the way you present yourself on screen always. So I look at you on screen, like, damn, this girl is the most amazing actress I’ve ever…” Drew’s words are warm and genuine, but before he can finish, she laughs, cutting him off.

“Please, all these compliments. You’re making me nervous. Stop looking at me like that,” she says, playfully brushing her hair back and trying to hide the flattery she feels from his compliment. Her voice is light and teasing, but there’s an unmistakable sincerity behind it.

Drew laughs softly, clearly enjoying the playful exchange. “Do you get nervous on set? Do you get nervous working?” he asks, his curiosity genuine as he turns the conversation to something more personal.

She  thinks for a moment, her expression thoughtful. “When I first got cast for X, I was nervous. I mean, I had never really filmed anything that warranted me being a fucking adult film star,” she begins, her voice calm but laced with the vulnerability of recalling a significant moment in her career. “And I was 22, having just finished my first horror film’s back to back , and pearl ,then infinity pool . So having to navigate that aspect, along with how it would intertwine with horror, made me nervous. Because at the end of the day, everyone was going to see me and my body, then oversexualize it, which I had been dealing with since I was 15.”

She  pauses for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “But it has gotten a lot worse over the years, so that is why I was nervous at first,” she adds, the weight of her experiences evident in her voice.

She looks at Drew, smiling a bit as she continues. “But I don’t so much anymore. I think once you understand, and once you feel safe with a crew, and you get, you’re in a rhythm, it all feels like everyone’s on the same path to get the same thing. And so the fear for me goes. If it’s a good environment, the fear goes for me. Because I feel like comfortable and I’m, you know, I can make a fool of myself. If you understand what I’m saying?”

Drew listens intently, appreciating her openness. “What about you, love? Do you?” she asks him, genuinely curious, a warm smile on her face.

“Yeah. Yeah, I definitely do,” Drew responds after a pause. He laughs lightly, the honesty in his voice cutting through the conversation. “That’s why they call it baked Alaska, I imagine. You know, I mean, my, like, heart was racing on the first day.”

Y/n nods, empathizing with him. “Right,” she says, her voice soft but encouraging as she listens to him continue.

Drew leans back slightly, his tone becoming more reflective. “And I usually, I’m usually good about it. I like having a lot of pressure and I like working within that type of environment,” he admits, the intensity in his eyes showing how much he thrives under challenge.

“How so?” She  asks, intrigued.

Drew seems to think about it for a moment, trying to explain a feeling that’s hard to put into words. “It’s like, I don’t know. I think it’s kind of like when you have some expectations, or, or there’s something, you know, there’s—it’s a feeling of like, there’s nothing to lose. Who cares? I love kind of working within a pressure cooker in a way. But, this one, like first day I was like, I bet—like first take, like my heart is like pounding through my chest. Like, I’m not gonna be able to do this.” He laughs a bit at his own admission, looking over at Abbie with a bit of disbelief at how much pressure he’d felt.

“Well, you’ve got Daniel and Luca, these two formidable forces,” she says to him, offering a bit of reassurance with a knowing smile.

Drew chuckles, nodding, but still feeling the weight of the situation. “And so, like, come in and, and, and be like, they’re gonna—they’re gonna know, man. Like, first day they’re gonna, like, find me out. This is not the right—what do we do? We made a mistake,” Drew says sincerely, the anxiety still clear in his voice despite his lighthearted attempt at self-deprecation.

Y/n , however, doesn’t miss a beat, her affection for Drew and his talents apparent. “First of all, Drew, you are so talented,” she says warmly. “I mean, for starters, I should have said this before, but welcome to A24 films—that in itself is groundbreaking,” she adds with a genuine, almost reverent tone. She pauses, her voice filled with admiration. “One thing I love is how attentive they are, and they just, when they see talent, they see it. And you’re so relatable. I mean, look at how far you’ve come. I completely understand. I mean, my first A24 film I was with a Skarsgård, and I was what 17 turning 18 I was terrified. But like, to be able to be cast alongside Daniel Craig as a main lead, holy hell, love, that’s so amazing.”

Drew laughs, clearly touched by her kind words, but still slightly in awe of the situation himself. “Did you ask him about James Bond?” she asks, a playful glint in her eye as she reminisces about the experience.

“He just kind of started talking about it,” Drew laughs, a bit sheepish but also amused by how casually Daniel Craig had approached the iconic role.

“That sounds like him,” y/n says, laughing along with him. “That’s so typical of Daniel,” she adds with a smile, as if recalling a thousand stories about the actor’s laid-back personality.

Drew nods, shaking his head a bit in disbelief. “Yeah, it was great. He’s just so chill about it all,” he says, both in awe and admiration.

“So, pretty girl, any new projects for you?” Drew asks with a playful smile, his tone light but full of curiosity as he watches her.

She chuckles, clearly enjoying the attention. “The way you keep calling me pet names, people are going to think we’re together,” she teases, her voice playful and full of warmth.

Drew grins mischievously. “Just trying to be sweet,” he replies, shrugging in mock innocence.

Y/n  glances to the side at her team, a mischievous glint in her eye. “But I was told I am allowed to share this, since it will most likely come out before this does, i can't remember who is playing the lead though” she says, nodding toward her team, missing drew's knowing smirk. “My team is also staring at me smiling right now,” she adds with a smile, causing both her and Drew to burst into laughter.

The mood shifts slightly as Abbie asks, “Have you watched anything or read anything by Nicholas Sparks?”

Drew’s eyes light up. “Yes, I have! The Notebook is a classic,” he responds with a fond smile, clearly a fan of Sparks’ work, while acting oblivious to the fact that he is playing the lead.

Y/n nods enthusiastically. “Well, he has this book, Two by Two, which is my favorite book ever,” she says, her eyes lighting up as she shares her passion. “It follows this father and his 5 or 6-year-old daughter as he navigates life, newly divorced from his wife who had spent their daughter’s whole life being a stay-at-home mom. But then she decides she wants to find a job, making him a stay-at-home dad while he’s running his own business. He finds out she cheats on him with her boss, and basically, he has to raise their daughter mostly on his own. The story is beautiful, and I have the honor of getting to play the girl he falls back in love with—Emily, who is a painter with her own gallery. She also happens to be his high school sweetheart. She’s also newly divorced, but they reconnect because his daughter, London, and her son, Bohdi, become best friends.”

Drew listens intently, utterly captivated by her description. “That sounds incredible,” he says, his voice full of admiration. “I can see why you’re so excited about it.”

Her face softens with genuine enthusiasm. “I don’t think I’ve been this excited for a project. I mean, I’ve been excited before, but this one is so different than what I’m used to since it’s more of an emotional and romantic movie,” she says, her tone growing reflective.

She pauses for a moment before adding, “I mean, I’ve been deemed the queen of horror since I was 18, so I feel like it’s going to be so refreshing to have a break from only doing horror movies.” She laughs lightly at the thought.

Drew chuckles and nods. “I mean, you wouldn’t have 16 different awards if you weren’t good at what you do,” he says with a sincere smile, causing y/n to blush modestly.

“Thank you,” she responds, her voice barely above a whisper, clearly touched by the compliment.

After a brief pause, Drew asks, “You said it resonates with you a lot. May I ask how so, seeing as though you haven’t been married or have kids… or have you?” His tone is gentle, as he clearly recognizes the vulnerability of the question.

Y/n  hesitates for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I unfortunately am quite single,” she says, a soft chuckle escaping her lips. “But, umm… sorry, I feel like I’m going to cry,” she admits, her voice faltering slightly. “But you know, transparency is great, and that’s something I strive for.”

Drew’s expression softens in sympathy. “Hey, no, it’s okay. Take your time,” he says with genuine care. “I’m just curious, you don’t have to answer it.”

She  nods, wiping her hands nervously on her lap before speaking again. “No, it’s okay,” she reassures him. “I feel like people know bits and pieces, but…” she begins, shifting her posture as if bracing herself. “As I said earlier, it’s been me and my dad since I was five years old. Well, that’s because my mom cheated on him right when I turned five. So a lot of what Russ and London lived, I did too.”

She pauses briefly, collecting her emotions. “After that, my dad took a big step back from the industry and began to focus on raising me and guiding me through my career at that age. Taking me to all my shoots and my dance classes,” she adds softly.

Drew’s smile softens with understanding as he imagines young y/n . his expression tender, clearly picturing her as a little ballerina.

“ when I wasn’t acting, I was doing ballet,” she  responds, a slight smile tugging at her lips as she reminisces. “I mean, I still take classes occasionally for fun when I’m not shooting any movies or shows. If I wasn’t doing this, I would have totally gone to Juilliard,” she says with a bittersweet laugh.

“Wait, you wanted to go to Juilliard?” Drew asks, his surprise evident.

“Yeah,” she replies with a nod. “But then I realized I loved acting a lot more. But like, it was truly an honor to meet with Nicholas, and he personally asked how I would feel about being in the adaptation for this book. And I sobbed because it means so much to me,” she says, her voice wavering with emotion. “I still don’t know who’s playing Russ, but I am so excited to be able to revisit the book. That’s why I said I’m filming in North Carolina soon.”

Drew looks at her with admiration. “Y/n, that’s truly beautiful,” he says, his voice filled with warmth. “It’s amazing that you get to be in an adaptation of something you love so much. It just means you’ll put your all into it.”

She  smiles through the emotion, a tear welling up at the corner of her eye. Drew, noticing the tear, rises from his seat, moving in front of her. Gently, he places his hands on her knees, wiping away the tear with his thumb.

“Your mom doesn’t know how much she missed being able to love and know such a beautiful human being,” Drew whispers softly, his words full of compassion. “You’re so talented, and even though you grew up in this industry because of your dad, you’ve proven you have a right to be here. And about who is casted as russ, i found out last week that i was cast as lead alongside you, so we will for sure be seeing a lot of one another ”

The camera captures this tender moment, the rawness of the emotion hanging in the air. Her  eyes well with more tears, but she mouths a quiet “oh my gosh that's amazing, and thank you” to him. Drew smiles warmly, stands up, and walks back to his seat, leaving a sense of peace and admiration between them. The atmosphere is quieter now, a sense of intimacy settling in. Drew, ever curious and willing to delve deeper, leans in slightly. “Not to keep it on an emotional level, but like… what’s your biggest fear?” His voice is steady, but the question feels weighty, more than just idle conversation.

Y/n , still drying her eyes, lets out a soft chuckle, trying to mask the rawness of the moment with humor. “Oh gosh, Drew. Take me out to dinner at least if you’re going to ask me these questions,” she laughs, wiping away the last traces of her tears. The attempt at levity lingers in the air, but it’s clear the underlying tension is palpable.

Drew’s smile is kind, but there’s an undeniable sincerity in his response. “Seeing how this is going, I plan to afterwards,” he says, his tone warm but not overly flirtatious. He’s just being sincere, which makes Abbie pause for a moment, her eyes meeting his with a blend of curiosity and hesitation.

She stares at him, her wide eyes blinking several times as if grappling with how much of herself she is willing to reveal in this vulnerable moment. It’s a rare pause, almost as if she’s debating whether to give the “safe” response or speak from a place of true honesty. Finally, after a long moment, she speaks, her voice still gentle but marked with an emotional undertone.

“Do you want a generic answer or a sincere one?” she asks, her head tilting slightly, her eyes narrowing with the effort of weighing her options. It’s clear she’s giving him permission to choose how deep this will go.

Drew, understanding the gravity of the question, leans back in his seat a little and responds in a voice full of care, “Sweet girl, make it a real one; but again you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” His words are an invitation for authenticity, not just an attempt to dig deeper. His respect for her boundaries is evident, but the warmth in his tone makes it clear that whatever she decides to share, he’s there for it.

Y/n  hesitates for a moment, as though she needs to ground herself, but then, she nods. “No, it’s okay,” she says with newfound resolve. “Again, want to be the most authentic and real for people.” There’s a slight quiver in her voice, betraying how much this question stirs inside her. Her lips part as if she’s about to say something difficult, something not just for the camera but for herself, too.

She takes a deep breath, clearly preparing to dive into a painful memory. “I mean, when he found out that my mom cheated on him… that was the saddest I’ve ever seen him,” she begins, her voice soft but heavy with the weight of the past. She looks down briefly, perhaps to gather strength before continuing. “To me, I didn’t understand it at first. How could someone hurt a man who showed them nothing but love and support, dropping huge projects to be by her side, he truley was the epitome of a man in love? It’s mind-blowing to me. I mean, I’m his daughter. I grew up seeing how hard he worked for me, how he sacrificed everything for me. And then to have that… betrayal, to see him devastated like that—it broke me. But he just kept going. He kept showing up for me. Even though I couldn’t fully understand it, he kept being my dad. And that’s what I admire about him the most—his ability to continue, despite everything.”

There’s a pause as she  gathers herself, blinking away tears, though she’s holding it together. She takes another steadying breath, looking up at Drew with eyes that now glisten with unspoken emotion. The silence between them is thick, heavy with empathy, and Drew listens without interrupting, letting the words sink in.

After a moment, she  continues, her voice still slightly shaky. “I also just hate it when people call me a ‘nepo baby,’ but they’re right, you know?” she admits, her tone raw. “At my core, that’s really what I am. And it’s scary, because every day, I’ve had to prove myself. I feel like I’m always fighting against that label, trying to show that I’m not just here because of who my dad is, but because I deserve to be here.”

Her voice trembles slightly as she presses on, her gaze unwavering. “And sometimes, it feels like no matter how hard I try, it’s always going to be about him. And that’s terrifying. I want to build my own path, not just walk in his shadow,even though i am so proud to get the honor of calling him dad. But that’s the burden, isn’t it? You’re expected to be something great, and when you don’t feel like you measure up, it’s hard not to worry you’ll disappoint them.”

The vulnerability in y/n’s voice is palpable, but she doesn’t falter, holding herself together as she speaks her truth. Drew nods slightly, his expression filled with understanding, the kind of silent support that encourages her to continue.

Her words hang in the air, and Drew quietly responds, “I get that. That pressure is no joke, and it never really goes away. You’re not alone in feeling that.” His voice is filled with warmth and empathy, and there’s a deep resonance in what he says, as if he knows exactly what that pressure feels like. Drew gives her a reassuring smile, but it’s the kind of smile that’s heavy with shared experience, a subtle acknowledgment of how difficult the road she walks truly is.

She  takes a breath, wiping the final traces of tears from her face, and then shifts the conversation back to him, her tone gentle but inquisitive. “What about you, love? What’s your biggest fear?” she asks, her voice quiet but full of curiosity.

Drew pauses, rubbing the back of his neck—a familiar gesture that signals a shift in tone. His expression softens as he reflects on the question, and there’s a moment of tension as he searches for the right words. He leans forward, as if ready to share something personal, but still weighing how much of himself he wants to expose.

“You know, it’s funny,” Drew starts, his voice taking on a thoughtful cadence. “Because on the surface, everything’s great. People see the success, the roles, the recognition. But, if I’m being honest, my biggest fear is being typecast. Getting stuck in one role, one type of character. Like, they see me as rafe cameron, the coked out killer, you know?” He smirks as he says this, but the edge to his voice reveals how deep the fear runs.

“Rafe Cameron was a turning point for me,” Drew admits, his tone becoming more animated. “I got attention, sure—but with it came a box. And I’m scared I’m gonna be stuck in that box forever.”

She  listens intently, her gaze steady and knowing. She can relate—she’s seen it in her own career, how quickly an actor can be defined by one character or one image. Drew’s voice picks up, the words flowing faster now, the urgency clear in his expression.

“It’s like I’m constantly fighting against this image of being the rebellious, troubled guy,” he continues, frustration creeping into his voice. “I’m grateful for Outer Banks—I love playing Rafe, but I want to show people more than that. I want to do things that challenge me, roles that let me push my limits. But I’m afraid Hollywood will just see me as that one thing, and I’ll never get the chance to grow.”

Drew’s vulnerability is laid bare in this moment, his fear of being confined to a single role evident in every word. “It feels like there’s this pressure to break away from that and show that I can do more. But sometimes I think… I could end up being one of those actors who only gets cast for their ‘type.’ And that’s just—ugh. It’s a slow death for me, artistically. I want to do more than just ‘play a part.’ I want to create something that people remember me for, something that’s not just one-dimensional.”

He pauses, rubbing his temples, letting the weight of his thoughts settle. “And on top of that, there’s the whole ‘persona’ thing. Being in the public eye, being known for a certain thing—it’s all part of the game, but I worry that it’ll overshadow my work. Like, what if the person people see isn’t really who I am? And if I keep chasing roles that push me outside of what people expect, I might lose sight of what really matters. Who I really am, outside of the character, outside of the fame.”

Drew shrugs slightly, the unease still lingering in his words, but there’s an honesty in his self-reflection. “It’s not just about missing out on opportunities—it’s about losing myself in the process. I don’t want to become something that I’m not. I want my work to not define me as an individual , not the image the industry creates.”

She  leans in, a soft but understanding look on her face. “I get that,” she says quietly, her voice full of empathy. “That fear of being seen only for what they want to see. It’s a lot. But you’re not alone in feeling that, Drew. I think… we both understand that pressure in different ways.”

Drew looks at her, the vulnerability still visible in his eyes. But now, there’s also a quiet reassurance in the space between them. For a brief moment, they sit together, both actors—both people—unmasked in their shared understanding of the pressure to fit into the mold created for them by others. There is no judgment here, just the unspoken knowledge that they’re not alone in the complex, often isolating experience of being seen in ways they never intended.

The atmosphere has shifted. The heavy emotions from their earlier conversation are still lingering in the air, but now there’s an undercurrent of lightheartedness, an invitation to relax. Drew stands up, stretching slightly as he looks at her. He smiles, his expression softening with sincerity, but there’s a certain playfulness that has returned to his demeanor.

“Well, beautiful, this was definitely, may I say, the highlight of my year,” he says, his voice warm and genuine. There’s a slight twinkle in his eyes, and though the comment might seem like a simple compliment, it carries the weight of an unspoken connection between the two of them. “And I wasn’t joking about taking you out to dinner,” he adds, the promise of a follow-up hanging in the air. It’s not just an offer—there’s intention behind his words, and she can sense it.

Y/n  looks up at him, the slight blush on her cheeks betraying the genuine sincerity of his words. She lets out a small laugh, more because of how unguarded he’s been throughout their conversation than anything else. “I’ll hold you to that, Starkey,” she says, her voice teasing but also tender. There’s a newfound warmth in her tone, the kind that comes from having shared something personal with someone who isn’t just listening, but truly understanding. The bond between them, though still in its early stages, is unmistakable.

With a smile, Drew takes a step forward, the distance between them closing as they meet in the middle. There’s a natural ease to their movements, and without a word, they each open their arms to embrace one another. The hug is brief but meaningful—a moment where both seem to realize that what has just transpired between them is something more than just an interview or a casual conversation. It’s the beginning of something new, something that neither of them fully understands yet, but both are undeniably intrigued by.

As they pull away, Drew chuckles, clearly feeling lighter than before. “Not going to lie, my mom would adore you,” he says, his voice filled with affection, but also with a certain vulnerability that shows he’s being real with her. The mention of his family is telling—a subtle way of indicating that he’s not just seeing her as a professional acquaintance, but as someone who might be important enough to bring into his personal life.

She raises an eyebrow, her lips curving into a playful smile as she eyes him with mock suspicion. “Already thinking about taking me home to meet your parents?” she asks, her tone light but filled with curiosity. The question isn’t just one of jest; it’s also an acknowledgment of the connection they’ve built. She’s not only acknowledging the intimacy of the moment but subtly suggesting that she’s open to seeing where this could go.

Drew grins, his eyes lighting up as he gives her a quick, knowing look. “Maybe,” he replies, though his voice carries the hint of possibility. His answer isn’t a definitive yes, but it’s clear that the idea of her meeting his family is not out of the question. There’s something more here, something that feels both promising and delicate, like the early stages of a relationship that could grow into something more substantial.

As they walk toward the exit together, their steps in sync, there’s a sense of ease between them that wasn’t there before—an ease that only comes after sharing something deeply personal. They move with the kind of familiarity that suggests a budding friendship, the kind where even the smallest gestures or words hold meaning. The conversation has shifted, but the connection remains.

The video starts to fade out, the final frame capturing them walking side by side, their laughter trailing behind them as they exit the scene. The last words spoken—those lighthearted, yet telling comments about dinner and family—linger in the air, like a promise of something that could develop further.

The scene closes on the image of the two of them, a quiet promise hanging between them: the possibility of dinner, of getting to know each other better, and of exploring where this newfound bond could take them. They both thought, for a fleeting moment, that maybe this was just the start of something beautiful. It wasn’t just about the conversation they’d shared, but about what might come after—what was unfolding in the quiet spaces between their words and actions.

|previous| next|

ABBIE'S CORNER

this has been my favorite written chapter by far. i watched both videios a few times and used elements from both but also added my own things ( y/n's backstory, and them both being casted in the movie adapataion of one of my favorite Nicholas Sparks book) Don't forget to reblogg and let me know what you guys think.

[all-gummed-up-inside]

can we get sum lloyd smut up in here pretty please *insert super cute begging face* like maybe him getting clingy after missinf u for long time. Like he's gone away saving the world for the 100th time and when he comes back he misses readrr soo much he just cannot expresses himself with his words so he expresses himself with sex (and endd up overstimmin himself AND READER)

Gn reader pretty pls and thank you for your tim i understnd how messyily i am explanen this 😭

(let's gloss over how I haven't posted in actual months) (this can be read as pre! or post!dragons rising Lloyd but was written with pre! in mind)

1.5K words

my goodness! he'd be so needy after being away from you for too goddamn long. I'd always start so soft and cuddly, Lloyd wanting to be so so so close to you and bask in your presence for as long as he can before he's called away again.

It truly doesn't take long before he starts getting more antsy, more wiggly, subtly grinding his crotch against yours in seek of just a little more friction than normal. Unnoticeable at first really, seems more like he's just adjusting himself to be more comfy.

Soft muffled whines and whimpers soon fall from his lips the longer he keeps it up. glossy green eyes soon searching for yours, soft pleads leaving the blonde as he begs in hushed whispers if he could just 'please stick it in! he'll be such a good boy! he promises!'

and be a good boy he will! shallow desperate thrusts that leave Lloyd absolutely drunk off the feeling of you wrapped around him! It has him cumming buckets with how pent-up he's been after not seeing you for so so long! Lloyd can't help himself but dump load after load into you, so much so that it has him crying and shaking from overstimming himself so much! he can't help it! you just feel so good and are so nice to him all the time! Lloyd doesn't even wanna pull out once it's all done and over with, wanting to stay inside you for as long as possible until you finally decide that the both of you should really clean up.

[arielleslipgloss]

It Girl Habits!!

(none of these photos are mine)

“You cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours.” - Anne Hathaway

Stay busy!! Do you see those it girls like Serena Van Der Woodsen scrolling on their phone all day? No, you rarely do. It girls are always busy doing something. So, therefore do some self care, study, workout, read, journal, go shopping, go on solo dates, hang out with friends, paint, have a dance party, etc. Do fun activities and take care of yourself. Another example of a busy it girl is, Elle Woods. Elle Woods wasn’t becoming one with the couch everyday. She had goals to achieve. She had people that doubted her to prove wrong. So get up! Start planning out your day or week. Start making goals!!

Have goals! You wanna know why you’re bored all the time? Well, it’s because you have no goals. You practically don’t have a life because all you do is sleep, eat, scroll, and repeat. You’re wasting time doing nothing. You could’ve had a clean room by now. Maybe you could have finished that book. Whatever it is, you could have had it. You could’ve been 1% better than yesterday. You don’t though because you have no goals. That time you’re wasting, can be used toward your goals. It can be used toward your dream life. Maybe, you do have goals? Yet you don’t even take action. What are you waiting for? For someone to do the work for you? No, get up and start taking action.

Be mindful of what you consume online!! Just like how who you surround yourself with affects you. What you consume online affects how and who you are. For example, listening to sad music makes you feel sad. Music is meant to tell a story that you feel deeply. You may not even relate to the song, but you feel as if you do. So, you become sad and continue to listen to sad music. When listening to uplifting music you gain confidence. You still feel like you relate to the song. Just with a more positive effect. As for what you watch and read. Don’t read/watch stuff that will put you down. Watch/read content that will help you.

Complimenting yourself every time you pass the mirror!! Some may say it’s cringy, but DO IT. Would you rather be cringy or be the best version of yourself? Exactly, so either say it out loud or in your head. Say it even if you might not believe it. Say it because you deserve it! Try to be creative with your compliments. Not all compliments have to be about your looks. It could be your personality, your thoughtfulness, how creative you are, etc. Also loosen up, be your own hype girl. When you see the mirror you could say, “Omg I look like the main character.” “Oh wait, I am!” Lastly, don’t forget to have fun with hyping yourself up.

Mediating or journaling when stressed!! When stressed we start to feel a lot of tension. So, that’s why meditating is so important to do when stressed. All you have to do is sit down and focus on breathing. Plus, It calms down your nerves, relaxes the mind, body, and soul. Not just that, but plenty of other benefits. Which includes, helps focus, betters mood, helps you sleep, slows down aging, etc. As for journaling, it’s practically free therapy! That is, at least in my eyes. All you need is a notebook, a pen or pencil, and yourself. Journal what’s making you stressed or anxious. Let all your emotions out, write freely. Your words don’t have to make sense. Nor do you need to have perfect writing. In fact, when you journal it may be all over the place. However or whatever you write, just let it out.

Expressing your gratitude!! Life is so beautiful and has so much meaning. So, either write down what you’re grateful for or thank God. You are so blessed to be here today. That is only just one thing to be grateful for. There are so many things to be grateful for, air, family, friends, your mind, being born as you, water, books, food, shoes, clothes, and so much more!! Express your gratitude everyday. It could be the most random thing like, a poster. As long as you’re truly grateful, then express it.

7. Having a low screen time!! Cliché, I know but it’s true. Your devices are consuming you. Think about what you use your device(s) for. Good examples are, for work, for motivation, tips, workout videos, inspiration, knowledge, and maybe even faith reasons. Now here are bad examples, procrastinating, sinning, hating on others, scrolling, because you’re bored, to watching videos of people that make you insecure, and lastly to cope with something. Which to clarify, trying to cope by using your phone, I understand somewhat. On the other hand, it could make what you’re coping with worse. I say that because there are so many studies on why our phone is bad for us. Seriously, so many and we are completely unaware of the damage it does. So for that reason, try to use your phone only for the good. I know you’re probably going to make an excuse. Which we all do and that’s ok, but please try.

8. Encouraging yourself to do better!! You should always be working hard to be 1% better everyday. So on the days you don’t feel like doing anything, encourage yourself. Show up for yourself, you will be so happy after. Lastly, trust yourself to get whatever done!!

9. Having a healthy sleep schedule!! For me, I try to aim for 8-11 hours of sleep. For others, it may be 7-10 hours of sleep. Whatever makes you feel the most well-rested should work. Just try to be consistent and mindful of the time. I also recommend to be off your phone for at least 30-60 minutes before going to bed. It will improve how you sleep a lot. That also being said, try not to be on your phone when you wake up either. It’ll help improve your health by a lot. Especially, the health of your brain and eyes. As I had mentioned, try to be consistent. Set a certain time to go to bed and turn off your phone. Then, get your lovely beauty sleep gorgeous!!

10. CLEANING!! The last habit is, cleaning. Now, I don’t just meaning cleaning your room or house. I mean even your body and mind. For starters, a clean room equals a clean mind. Therefore, stop procrastinating and start cleaning. Turn on some fun music and maybe even romanticize cleaning. Just make it fun and DEEP clean. I know someone reading this has been procrastinating on cleaning. You know who you are, so clean everything. Then, for cleaning the mind a little extra meditate. I feel like I already went over a bit about meditation. So lastly, for the body, take your showers consistently. Also, please wear deodorant. I see way too many people nowadays not wearing deodorant. Seriously, wear your deodorant.

“Always walk around like you have on an invisible tiara on.” - Paris Hilton

Remember, always apply lip gloss and stay pretty! Love you, dolls 💋

Info I used: https://reallifecounseling.us/blog/benefits-of-meditation

My Pinterest: @arielleslipgloss

[megamindsecretlair]

Follower Celebration, pt 2!

Whew! I ... am completely blown away. I mean, truly. I've had several posts about my journey and how I almost quit writing because I couldn't find a single person to give me feedback. But I was just in the wrong circles. And I won't rehash that.

I just want to say thank you. Words cannot express my gratitude. I am overwhelmed (in a good way!) that you all love my writing!

So to say thank you for getting me here, YOU get to decide what the celebration is 🥳 it will be a fic but you guys decide everything! I am but a humble servant 😌

The first Follower Celebration was a blast of fun with Toxic Tyrone "Wrong For It", so it'll be interesting to see what emerges on top. I know I still owe you a One Year Anniversary Fic with Toxic Stunna, I haven't forgotten. But I'd like to get this outta the way so I can plan for both.

And to be clear: it's not about the number. It's not about the likes. It's about my deep love for all of you. I could have 1 follower behind this blog for all you know. Please don't measure your skills as a writer or blogger against how many likes and comments you get. Yes, they're a blast of fun! But writing is for YOU.

Without further ado...

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Riddle Rosehearts - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Riddle: Look at this massive collection of masterpieces… This museum truly is spectacular.

Riddle: Now then, I should be coming up on the exhibit displaying the Queen of Hearts soon… Aha!

Riddle: It's a painting depicting the scene where the Queen appears before her card soldiers… She looks so majestic.

???: Both her expression and the way her lithe fingers grasps her dress is utterly refined. Moreover, that red and black dress looks spectacular on her!

Rook: This work of art expresses just how charming the dignified Queen of Hearts was.

Riddle: Charming… you say? I shouldn't expect any less of an observation coming from you, Rook-senpai. I have to admit that I'd never thought of it that way.

Riddle: It's said that she would always make sure to wear this dress and her golden crown even during the most important of trials.

Rook: It must have been her regal formal attire, then. Heh, now I can't help but be curious what she wore in her own time.

Rook: I'm also curious as to what casual wear you partake in, as well, Roi des Roses.

Riddle: Eh, me? I wouldn't think it's anything that would catch the interest of the Pomefiore Vice Housewarden...

Riddle: As a rule, I don't tend to wear anything more lax than smart casual. My parents always said that I should never forego a tie, after all.

Rook: An elegant assortment that suits you well!

Riddle: Thank you. I am quite fond of the style, so it pleases me to hear you say that.

Riddle: However, there are times that my usual attire doesn't fit the situation…

Rook: Oh, is that so?

Riddle: Yes. Once, I and three others traveled to Foothill Town in order to purchase new equipment for my club activities from a store there.

Riddle: When I arrived at the appointed meeting place, everyone looked perplexed, asking if I planned on truly wearing what I had on to town.

Riddle: Since this was an errand for our club, and we would be carrying heavy objects, I had opted to wear my PE uniform.

Rook: Oh là là! True, it may be easier to move around in that uniform… But it may have been a tad impractical to wear out to town.

Riddle: Yes… I should have worn my normal clothes. Unfortunately, I didn't own a single casual outfit to wear while doing manual labor.

Riddle: So, I decided to ask Ace and Cater for help, since they're much more cognizant of fashion trends.

Riddle: Perhaps they could help me figure out what sort of attire I could wear when going shopping with my clubmates.

Rook: Those two do seem to have an eye for fashion, I agree. How did they react?

Riddle: They agreed that my normal attire was much too formal, and would look out-of-place while alongside my clubmates.

Riddle: However, it's uncertain when I may be required to join others for an errand again.

Riddle: It would be bad form to cause my compatriots to feel uncomfortable. So, I came to the conclusion that something must be done to rectify this situation.

Riddle: When I voiced that to those two, they gave me a few pointers that would allow for my current wardrobe to look slightly more casual.

Riddle: For example, I could wear my usual shirts with no tie, and with the top button open.

Rook: That makes sense, it would loosen up the stiff formal wear and make it seem more casual.

Riddle: Yes, I suppose… Although, it seems I just cannot get comfortable without my collar closed all the way, even if it to try for a more casual look.

Rook: Hm, so you're saying that change wasn't to your taste, then?

Riddle: Exactly that. I mentioned that to Ace and Cater, and after much discussion…

Riddle: Instead of changing how I wore my clothes, we decided to adjust the material and sizes of the clothes to help dress down more casually.

Rook: I see! Even a jacket can look more casual if it's made of linen or polyester.

Riddle: That's right. It was a thought that never would have occurred to me. …Heh! My card soldiers are quite excellent thinkers, aren't they?

Riddle: After that, I traveled to Foothill Town with those two and they helped me select a few new outfits…

Riddle: Next time I am to go into town with my schoolmates, I intend on wearing the clothes I bought then.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Rook: This is a painting depicting a tale of the Son of the God of Thunder, I see. It's quite awe-inspiring with how both he and the pegasus beside him strike such gallant poses.

Riddle: Indeed. It is said that whenever he went into battle, this pegasus fought right alongside him.

Riddle: Whenever I come across one of his historical anecdotes, I cannot help but bring to mind a good partner of mine, as well.

Rook: That partner of yours wouldn't happen to have a beautiful coat of hair, now, would it?

Rook: I heard that you achieved high marks at the most recent equestrian tournament.

Riddle: You heard correctly. I believe Vorpal and I have a deep, mutual trust between ourselves. However, it was quite difficult for us to reach this point, I must say.

Rook: Oh, really?

Riddle: Yes. A little while after I joined the club, the horse I was assigned to ride was Vorpal.

Riddle: However, Vorpal was extremely prideful and would be very particular of which humans could ride him.

Riddle: No one else was ever allowed to ride atop his back in the three years since the previous club captain graduated.

Riddle: For some time after I joined the club, he wouldn't allow me to even place a saddle on his back, let alone ride him.

Riddle: Not only was he a prideful horse, but he was also temperamental. I was often vexed that I couldn't tame him well…

Riddle: But nowadays whenever I visit the stables, he'll come up and nudge me as if he had been waiting for my arrival.

Rook: I suppose that means all those days you zealously spent getting to know him finally melted his icy heart.

Rook: Beauté! What a beautiful relationship.

Riddle: I-I feel as though calling it beautiful may be a slight exaggeration… But I will say I was very pleased when he finally accepted me as his rider.

Riddle: I only learned of it later, but I heard that I was given responsibility over Vorpal intentionally as some sort of hazing.

Riddle: It seems they hoped that I would complain about how difficult it was to tame him and quit the club.

Rook: That sort of harassment shouldn't be tolerated. I'm curious as to why that sort of situation occurred.

Riddle: From what I was told, it all came about because I would chide them whenever they would slack off on training or while cleaning the stables…

Riddle: I simply spoke frankly, there should not have been any ill-will between us.

Rook: Essentially, you overcame the challenges presented to you, and claimed victory over your opponents alongside your partner.

Rook: Fufu, how wonderfully dramatic. Almost as if you were the fated protagonist of a story, going the distance to seize his destiny!

Riddle: A-Another exaggeration…

Riddle: Although, I am very proud of the fact that Vorpal and I were able to become good partners.

Riddle: No form of hazing would ever prove to be an obstacle for me. This story simply proves that.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Riddle: This painting… It depicts the moment the Sorcerer of the Sands acquired that scarab.

Riddle: See the dark blue night sky and the bright golden light… This artwork is highly praised for the beautiful color play.

Rook: This scarab was a key that would lead the way to a magical cave when its two halves were made whole. Do I recall that legend correctly?

Riddle: That's right. It's said that the Sorcerer of the Sands granted a lavish reward to the person who brought one half of the scarab to him.

Rook: That must have meant it was something of great importance to him.

Rook: Once he had obtained such an important key, I'm sure he would have had to take great measures so as to not lose it.

Riddle: True, it is vital to keep keys safe.

Rook: Oh? Riddle-kun, do you have some treasure of your own you've kept hidden?

Riddle: I wouldn't consider it a treasure… But I do have something that I wouldn't wish for others to lay their eyes on.

Rook: Oh, my! Have I touched on a private matter? If so, I apologize profusely.

Riddle: It's nothing to fret over. I'm simply speaking of my Housewarden journal. It contains minutes from the Housewarden meetings and documentation of my duties as Housewarden, among other things…

Riddle: I also have recorded down certain information about my dorm's students, so I would not like it leaked to anyone outside of myself.

Rook: Fufu, I can see just how seriously you're fulfilling your duties as Housewarden, Riddle-kun.

Riddle: If I can keep records of even the most trivial note, I find that it allows me to understand and manage every situation that occurs within my dorm.

Riddle: Only, recently there are more things to write about. It's as if the number of incidents that require more description are increasing.

Rook: Well, that's fascinating. If it isn't asking too much, could I perhaps ask what sort of situations those are?

Riddle: That have been such incidents such as when an argument broke out between Ace and Deuce that I had to involve myself in…

Riddle: Or the time the two from Ramshackle caused a ruckus at one of our Unbirthday Parties…

Riddle: As the number of incidents that need to be recorded increase, the more effort it takes.

Riddle: My days have changed considerably from when I first assumed the duties of a Housewarden, almost unimaginably so…

Riddle: Now that I've had to report on more incidents per day, the number of notebooks I go through have also increased.

Rook: It's as though you're more keeping a diary than just keeping records! Wouldn't you say that the whole reason you've found more to write about is because…

Rook: Your daily life has become even more magnificent and satisfying compared to before?

Riddle: A diary…? I wonder if that's truly so.

Rook: Oui! I myself cannot stop the flowing composition of poems that spill from my hand whenever I am feeling inspired.

Rook: Oh, my, it seems I've kept you for far too long. I should take my leave. I'll talk to you later, Riddle-kun.

Riddle: Of course, Rook-senpai. Well then, I should head towards the next exhibit as well… Hm?

Riddle: This is a painting that shows the tea party scene from the stories of the Avidly Curious Girl.

Riddle: Not only did she invite herself to the tea party, she also drank some potions without permission. Her rude behavior is what leaves a lasting impression.

Riddle: It is said she was searching for a path home… But I'm sure at the rate she was going, she would not be able to find a path to redemption.

Riddle: Regardless of where she came from or where she wanted to go.

Requested by @farfalla049, @sakurakudo, and @a-s-k--g-a-b-i.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 157 }

headfirst for halos.

yandere!jinwoo sung x fem.reader

warnings + disclaimers: obsessive behavior; dark content; i do not condone this behavior in real life, but in fiction, anything goes.

notes: reading solo leveling and seeing how hard jinwoo goes to protect his family and those that he loves-

it’s not impossible for him to have some yandere tendencies. i’ll try to write this to the best of my abilities, even though this really isn’t my strong suit ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ this will be written for the anon that wishes to see me write for yandere!jinwoo... so i hope this meets your expectations...

{ well, let’s go back to the middle of the day that starts it all | i can’t begin to let you know just what i’m feeling. }

there she is, the girl that stole my heart the moment i first laid eyes on her.

my breathing comes out as uneven gasps, and i was actively struggling to breathe at the mere sight of her. along with my labored breaths, my heart could be felt pumping quickly, racing as my palms began to sweat the more i looked at her-

an almost crazed expression paints my features, eyes never straying too far away from that lovely woman. from my viewpoint, i could see that she was simply enjoying her day with a book in hand, taking casual sips of her coffee while running her hands through her hair.

and oh, how i long to sit across from her! to simply bask in her radiance while listening to the gentle sweetness of her voice...

but not yet.

i cannot approach such a perfect goddess just yet.

i still have not reached my full potential.

so, i'll simply stand right here, hidden within the shadows with my hood pulled over my face. from this point onwards, i will never allow my goddess to leave my sights-

"wait for me, my love."

{ ... }

the day sung jinwoo had confessed his feelings for you was the day you had labeled as being the best in your life.

after your meeting with the association's chairman, jinwoo had waited for you all while donning an expensive, black suit. in his hands was a bouquet of red roses, signifying his true intentions as he gifted you the precious blooms with a single statement.

"i am deeply in love with you, please, tell me that you'll be mine."

you thought nothing of the sheer desperation heard in his voice, finding yourself becoming captivated by the mere sight of him. and truly, could anyone really blame you for being so starstruck at the sight of him?

here was this perfect specimen of a man, with features that could rival any idol, and a body that was sculpted to perfection thanks to the many battles he had faced. neat locks of ebony hair falls perfectly across his face, with his full lips tilted up in an unassuming smile (let's not forget that adorable blush, too!)

within seconds, you held the bouquet of roses close to your chest while accepting his confession.

and just a few moments later was when you found yourself immediately brought into jinwoo's embrace. a gasp escapes from your lips as it felt as though he were crushing you to his chest-

like he wanted to somehow meld your body together with his-

your slight cry of pain was what ultimately makes jinwoo let go of you, eyes glowing a startling purple hue while looking down at your arms to see the roses he had purchased for you ruined as the thorns managed to pierce through the skin of your arms.

you swore you could never forget the look of utter devastation seen within his eyes, his apologies being repeated over and over again before taking the broken bouquet and smashing it to the ground with his feet.

"no no no, this was supposed to be the perfect day! the roses were meant to convey my deep and passionate love for you, but it ended up hurting you- i need to get rid of it, need to get rid of anything that harms you-"

by the end of his panicked rants, you were the one that had to calm him down, promising that you could heal yourself and that such a minor injury was no problem at all. you could see the look of pure relief reflected in his gaze as he squeezes your body to his chest once more, embracing you while standing over a broken bouquet of roses.

despite how strange it was, you were truly staring at him through rose-colored lenses, thinking nothing of it.

now that you were together with him for roughly 6 months now, you began to notice tiny details pertaining to jinwoo and his behavior when it came to you.

for starters, you had only been dating for a month when he practically demanded that you move in with him, successfully convincing you to terminate your lease with your current apartment while seducing you with promises of financial stability and a large penthouse to share with him.

"sarang, i know that you're a capable healer, but your earnings are no match for mine! please, let me take care of you."

despite not even dating for a year, you moved in with him anyways, allowing jinwoo to further spoil you.

along with his constant presence, you realized one other detail-

now, jinwoo owned a journal of some sort, seeming to write in that thick notebook on a near daily basis.

during the times you had seen him before you began dating, jinwoo had never once kept a diary. he appeared calm, cool, and collected, with his status as korea's latest s-rank hunter putting him to nearly famous heights. due to his growing fame, you figured he had no time to do such a mundane task.

yet now, without fail, he would never cease writing so furiously within the journal, only slamming the pages shut and stopping when you would walk into the room. you had a sneaking suspicion he was writing about you, but each time you asked about it, he would simply harden his gaze and give you a scowl.

"with all due respect, this has nothing to do with you. am i not allowed the privacy to write down my own thoughts?"

his biting words nearly makes the tears stream down your face, your apologies coming out into broken syllables. upon realizing that he has hurt your feelings, jinwoo would push himself away from the table, leaving behind his journal before comforting you by taking you in his arms.

"i'm sorry, i'm so so so sorry, your monarch didn't mean to make you cry. forgive me, my love?"

being comforted by his warmth and blinded by the sheer love you still had for him, you merely nodded your head in response, accepting his kiss as the gesture erased all of your thoughts pertaining to his journal.

and that was how your days typically went with your boyfriend.

he would take you out on dates and spoil you with gifts-

each time you were scheduled to attend a raid, he would take over and finish each dungeon solely on his own without even giving you and your team a chance-

and when nightfall came (when jinwoo believed you had fallen asleep), he would continue to write (with a strange fervor) within the pages of his journal until the early hours of the morning.

it wasn't until now that you decided to do something about your growing curiosity.

jinwoo was currently away on what you could only deem as a 'business trip.' the american branch of the hunter's association had reached out to him, and he would be gone for roughly a week-

leaving you alone within the confines of the penthouse.

your eyes were staring blankly at the television screen, not really paying attention to the show that was currently being aired. instead, your heart was pounding with anxiety, trailing your eyes towards the bedroom.

within your shared master bedroom, you were aware of the desk jinwoo kept against the wall, being filled with various paperwork and checkbooks that kept track of his earnings as a hunter-

and settled inside the desk was a locked compartment that you were certain his journal was kept hidden. you always saw the key to the drawer somewhere close to his body as an extra precaution to make sure that you would never be able to read its contents while he was away.

but truly, you were nothing if you didn't have some tenacity.

clasped within your hands were two needles that were going to serve as your tools for picking the lock within jinwoo's desk (and you could only hope that whatever shadow soldier he had placed within your shadow wouldn't alert him.)

you knew of the risks that came with unlocking the drawer-

however, you could not stop yourself.

with a determined expression, you swiftly head towards your room, turning on the lights before marching towards jinwoo's desk. kneeling before it, you place the two, slender needles within the keyhole all while gently maneuvering it-

you bring the needles closer together within the keyhole-

then proceed to turn it around just a little bit more-

only to let out a surprised gasp upon hearing something click.

the two needles remain rooted in place when you managed to open the drawer, seeing jinwoo's diary settled within the deep confines of its space. as your hands lean down to grab it, the sudden memory of his ice cold gaze and voice dripping with fury stops you-

with all due respect, this has nothing to do with you.

your breathing comes out as labored, with your heart felt twisting just the tiniest bit in anxiety-

but sadly, your curiosity had won, taking over as you extracted the diary from the safety of the drawer before opening the cover to its first page-

making you regret it instantly.

for what lay before you was pure and utter darkness-

may 6, 16:41 she's mine. she's finally mine! the woman i have longed for- the woman who has saved me when i was a mere e-rank hunter accepted my flower and my love. now she is mine to hold. mine to love. mine to cherish for all eternity. my heart feel so happy, so free. today is truly the best day of my life. SHE'S FINALLY MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE....

june 7, 12:42 i asked my soulmate to move in with me today, yet felt ANNOYED at the slight hesitance in her gaze. she has no right to refuse me! here i am, spoiling her with everything she could possibly want and need, yet she still wants to live in a space AWAY FROM ME? unacceptable. i refuse to tolerate her defiance. if she loves me, she'll cut off her lease and be with me. only i can give her what she wants- ONLY I CAN GIVE HER WHAT SHE NEEDS. despite my anger that was felt mounting, i manage to calm down and speak to her with my normal tone, making sure that it was honey sweet while coaxing her, promising her that i will take care of her and provide her everything that she needs. and oh, i truly am so lucky! she agreed to move in with me by the end of the day. life cannot get any better than this.

june 9, 0250 i couldn't help myself- the moment she lay in my bed, i made love to her. i perfectly slotted myself between the softness of her thighs while basking in her warmth. i can feel myself getting harder at the memory. fuck, i need her. despite taking her for several hours, i can't get enough of her. i'll finish up this entry and place my hands between her slick sweetness- don't worry, i'll make sure she's awake and needy for me so that i can look back at this entry and smile at the memory. I WILL FOREVER MARK HER AS MINE I WILL FOREVER MARK HER AS MINE I WILL FOREVER MARK HER AS MINE I WILL FOREVER MARK HER AS MINE I WILL FOREVER MARK HER AS MINE I WILL FOREVER MARK HER AS MINE

august 18, 20:00 that damn hunter keeps bothering her again, shamelessly flirting with her while constantly begging her to heal him. i bet he wants her. i bet he has thoughts of fucking her. why else does he keep leading her hands toward his shoulder like that? and why are his eyes shining with lust for her like that? i'm going to have to teach him a lesson- after all, my love doesn't know any better, so there's no way i could ever punish her. it's my duty to protect her. to save her from all men that wish to use her- ah, he's here. i'll end my entry for now.

after reading those few entries, your head began to spin, recalling each of those days with perfect clarity. after those entries, jinwoo seemed to lose all coherent thoughts, spending the next hundred of pages detailing your every activity-

from how you slept-

to what you wore-

even going down to such minuscule details like what you had for your meals and what you were constantly doing marked by the hours-

and now, you had context for the sudden disappearance of the hunter you had healed all those months ago-

nausea was felt coursing through your veins as you shoved the journal away from you, running into the bathroom as you threw up the contents of your breakfast and lunch into the porcelain toilet. even when your stomach was emptied of its contents, you kept on dry heaving, trying to get rid of the sourness felt deep inside of you.

time passes seemingly in a sluggish manner, with you flushing the toilet before crawling out of the bathroom. when you tried to stand back to your full height, a wave of dizziness hits you-

but one thought still remains-

i need to get out of here!

those words were what ultimately pushes you forward, with your uneven breaths filling at the air as your feet pounded against the floors, about to reach the front door when a sudden shift was felt in the air.

"i knew that it was best for me to save my shadow exchange for moments like this."

a silent scream escapes from your parted lips when jinwoo suddenly appears before you. he simply holds your arms tightly within his hands, not even using his full strength when he manages to fully apprehend you.

tears stream down your face as you actively fought against him, but to no avail...

all you managed to do was further tire yourself out, slumping back down to the floors as jinwoo coos at you, using his full weight against you while bearing you down against the cold, hardwood floors.

"it's okay... it's okay... i'm not mad at you for reading my most private thoughts. in fact, i WANTED you to read them someday! that way, you will know the full extent of my pure love and devotion to you!"

your tears were trailing down your face in cascades now, the sobs wracking through your body with such visceral and potent fear that violent tremors began taking over your form from beneath him. yet still, jinwoo keep staring down at you with those glowing, violet gaze, never once looking away from you.

"you're mine..." he says your name in a bit of a drunken haze, "it doesn't matter how you feel about me now, because i'm never letting you go!"

crazed laughter echoes throughout the area, with jinwoo drowning out your sobs and cries for help by kissing your lips deeply-

in mere seconds, the rose-colored lens had finally shattered the moment you tasted something coppery and bitter from within his lips...

a.n. - while re-reading solo leveling, the panel used as the preview of my story genuinely scared me, which was what further solidified mine and everyone else's belief in the yandere potential he had 😭

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[knavesflames]

halloooooo !! I’m not sure if requests are open but if they’re not it’s okay if you don’t write this. I wanted to ask if you could write an Arlecchino x reader (fluff, can be fic or headcanons or anythint) where reader is insecure about her face ? Like they don’t think they’re pretty enough bc of their friends and stuff. Thank you !! Take your time and have a nice day <3

I needed something like this rn so I’m almost glad it took so long for me to get to (though I am sorry, i have been so busy) a lil hard to be positive right now but i tried my best!!

Word count: 707

Contents: fluff, insecure reader

UTC!

Your friends are beautiful, handsome. They truly are. Your girlfriend, Arlecchino, is stunning too. It seems everyone around you has the perfect face, looks utterly amazing. You find yourself admiring them whenever you’re around them. Yet, you, yourself, are not any of those things. Not in your own mind. You can’t even look at yourself in the mirror, at least, not recently. You find your eyes burning with hot tears the second you catch a glimpse, and you find yourself growing bitter at the sight of anyone who doesn’t look like you. At least before it got so bad you could joke about how you wanted to be them, and now jealousy has given way to hatred, even if they’ve done nothing wrong.

It isn’t like Arlecchino hasn’t noticed, either. The way your makeup mirror has been flipped around so you don’t have to see yourself, or the way you purposely avoid looking towards any reflective surface, even during intimate activities. And if we’re honest, Arlecchino loves to make you look at yourself while you’re coming undone because of her, except her recent advances have been met with a firm ‘no’.

She can’t figure out why you suddenly began acting like this. Any mention of either your frame or your face turns you angry and silent, with your fists clenching. You aren’t angry really though, you’re just sad. Sad you won’t ever look like the people you wish you could look like. Devastated at the thought that Arlecchino will one day see sense and leave you for one of them. The thought of that hurts you so much you begin distancing yourself from her, too. Arlecchino, at first, is confused. She, for the life of her, cannot understand any of this. Yet, the day comes where you can’t even bring yourself to look at her while she speaks to you, and she can’t seem to keep herself quiet anymore.

“Look at me,” she snaps. She tries not to lose her temper with you, not when she knows there’s a clear reason why you’re acting the way you’re acting, but you’re not saying anything, you won’t even look at her.

You feel your own jaw setting, all of your negative feelings bubbling up for no reason. Unfortunately this time, she seems to be the target. “Or what, you’ll leave me for someone prettier?”

Arlecchino doesn’t flinch, but her expression, the one that’s usually so graceful and emotionless, crumples into a frown of pure disbelief and confusion. Her voice this time comes out as a quiet hiss. “What? You doubt my affection for you after all this time? Is that what this is about?”

When you go to argue back, and your voice breaks into a cry, she softens as much as someone like Arlecchino can soften. “I see,” she murmurs, sitting down next to you. Her hand softly lands on your knee, squeezing it gently. “This again, is it? I have told you countless times—“

“It doesn’t help. I still feel this way.” Your attempt at a venomous response does nothing but highlight how you’re feeling, the exact opposite effect you wanted. Still, you sniffle, your hands curled in on themselves as you talk. “No words will help that I want to rip off my own skin because it feels like I am the ugliest creature to ever walk the earth, or that I feel like I have been created for the universe to be amused at my torment.”

“Yet to me, you are a creature full of beauty and grace. You are wonderful, your face is, too. Do you not think I would have left if I wanted to?” Your response to her words is silence. Unfortunately for your brain, she has a point. She could leave in a heartbeat, you couldn’t stop her if you pleaded. She stays, though. Doesn’t that say enough?

“If I didn’t know better, I would say you are a descendant of a goddess. So, how dare you speak about yourself in that way? I did not fall for your friends, or some girl on the street. I demand nothing but the best for myself, and that is exactly what I have. Next time you feel this way, you come to me.”

[viennakarma]

i was thinking of the ending where the reader moves on!! i was interested in what luna would think happened bc i thought she would see that lewis is still clearly in love with her mom but her mom obviously moved onto to fernando.

but i am biased to the ending where reader forgives lewis (bc lewis is my main man <3 hehe) so i really appreciate that perspective!! i do feel like even tho reader has forgiven and moved on by the time luna’s a teen, lewis would low key still carry that guilt. he seems emotionally driven for sure (to me) and he was dreading the day luna found out bc she eventually would, in the age of social media

i would love your thoughts on lewis’ perspective as well (either when it happened or when luna asks him about it) bc as someone who went thru something similar (we were never dating but it still hurt lmao) i still cannot wrap my head around the betrayal even tho it was years ago at this point. so seeing lewis still be in love w reader and truly regret his actions heals a part of me even tho this is fiction hahahahaha.

love your writing btw ❤️❤️❤️

ohhhh thank you so much! I also went through something similar (i guess that's why say something feels so raw to read and all over the place with emotions)

so you wanted to know how lewis would carry that guilt after losing the woman of his life? (evil laugh) it sparked me to write a bit, so here it goes: (keep in mind the post wreck my plans headcanons)

((also, written in the format you = reader))

Growing up, Luna had slowly become aware of her father's feelings for her mom. She knew the story, they had fallen out of love, divorced when you were pregnant with Luna. But as she became a pre-teen, and a teen, she started to really pay attention to the way Lewis looked at you. During her school games, Luna was a midfielder in football, she'd notice how Lewis' gaze would linger on you, the longing almost unbearable for a couple of seconds before he was able to scold his expression and look away. When Fernando arrived, wrangling Luna's younger siblings, Lewis would go back to his normal, polite self. When he'd drop Luna off at your house, Luna would notice the way Lewis stared from his car, looking at you and Fernando playing with the children in the backyard, using water balloons under the heat of the summer, how you'd embrace Luna and immediately let her join in the game. Luna started to grow aware of this, and by the age 15, she'd be completely sure that her dad still had feelings for you, and she would know that you had no feelings for him. Because the way Lewis looked at you was the way you looked at Fernando.

Luna decided to dig up, one night. She had a limited and monitored access to the internet ever since she was little, and with the years, she just wasn’t big on internet and social media, rather spending time with her siblings, her friends and family or her many hobbies. But with google, it didn’t take long for her to find a specific video. It was at a press conference, back when her dad was a racing driver, someone asked him what his thoughts were on his ex-wife, Luna’s mom, dating Fernando, a fellow racing driver.

Luna stared at her dad in the video, the dim in his eyes when he said his marriage had ended for unrelated reasons and that he was the only one to blame, since his loyalty as a husband had faltered and he was the one to fail the vows he had made to you. Luna closed her laptop with a slam. She wasn’t dumb. She was fifteen and loved English classes. She knew what he meant with loyalty faltering.

She got upset, she had never thought cheating was the reason for the divorce, not when you and Lewis had told her that they fell out of love. She grew moody for a couple of days, short tempered and rude, you and Fernando had thought it was only teenager moodiness, so you let Luna be. When she confronted you, two days later, she spilled the truth of what she had found out, Fernando, sensing the moment, took Vicenzo and Benny to his family’s place for the weekend, knowing you and Luna had a big conversation coming.

You explained to Luna what had happened, why you were the one to divorce Lewis. But you were kind, always reminding her that her dad had always been a good father, always taking care of Luna and how you and Lewis loved her no matter what. After that talk, Luna got calmer, but she asked you to not go to her father the following week as they had agreed on. Lewis was distraught when you called him to inform that Luna wasn’t going to his house that week and she didn’t wanna go camping as planned anymore. When you told him over the phone that Luna had found out… you could hear him crying.

After giving Luna a week to give her space, Lewis went to your house to find her. They decided to finally go on that camping trip under the condition that he’d answer all of Luna’s questions about what had happened.

She was silent for most of the trip. Once they arrived at the cabin, they sat in the backyard, Lewis lit up a bonfire and Luna and him sat around it, burning marshmallows in the fire.

“Do you regret it?” Luna asked, breaking the silence. Lewis exhaled for a second.

“Every waking moment,” His voice faltered.

“Why, then?” She muttered, looking straight into the fire.

“I don’t know. Back then I had been upset, having had a couple of bad seasons in Formula 1, feeling useless, feeling like I wasn’t able to do the one thing I knew how. I had a couple of drinks, and someone from my past showed up… And I made a mistake that cost me my happiness, my future and the love of my life. Looking back now, all of those were silly reasons for doing what I did. They weighed nothing compared to your mom and our marriage…” His voice was wet with tears and Luna didn’t have the heart to look at his face yet, “Your mom, she even tried to fix things for a few weeks after I confessed. But I could see… I could see the love she had for me dying more and more every single time. When we signed the divorce, she was already pregnant with you. We decided to become friends to co-parent for you.”

After some silence, Luna looked at Lewis, the tears in his face.

“Will you forgive me?”

“Of course,” She reached out, wiping his cheeks of tears. He closed his eyes, a weight leaving his shoulders at the acceptance and she hugged him. Lewis couldn’t help but see you in Luna, in her caring embrace and her forgiveness.

After a few quiet moments, Luna pulled back.

“How… How was life when you two were married? You know, before all this?” Luna asked, “Mom never talks about it.”

“Why do you wanna know, baby? It’ll only hurt you…”

“Because I have no idea how it was.”

So he told Luna about random things of those few years you were married. He told her how you’d draw and leave charcoal stains everywhere, and how upset he’d be, Luna would tell him you rarely ever use charcoal nowadays, but every few weeks Fernando buys you new colors of paint and asks you to paint him something. Luna told Lewis how all of Fernando’s offices are full of colorful paints you made him.

Everything Lewis told her, Luna would counter with how things were nowadays. And each time it hurt his heart a little. Fernando didn’t make you travel around the world anymore, Fernando helped you take care of the garden, supporting you most recent hobbies, Fernando who gifted you with a little rescue kitten, a scruffy little thing you had always wanted but didn’t get because the kids were too small back in the day.

Lewis started to see how he had failed you many times even when you were married, even before the cheating. How he had been unsupportive of your hobbies, of your career, of your wishes.

He knew he’d spend the rest of his life wishing he could come back to that one fateful night and never get in a hotel room with that woman. He’d know what to do now. He’d know how to go home straight to you, how to cherish you, how to support you.

But it was too late, and you had found someone who did all that without the need to make a mistake to value you for who you are.

note: damn, this really ran away from my hands too phew

[sweetkpopmusings]

stray kids as love letter confessions <3

a/n: i said that a quote about love was hyunjin-coded and got the urge to write out how stray kids would confess their love. this is short and sweet, but let me know if you want something more! pics not mine <3

content: fluff, romance | wc: 0.6k | warnings: none really! | pairing: stray kids x gn!reader | requests: open

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

chan♡‧₊˚

for the longest time, i felt like i needed to stay busy. i was always running toward something, chasing after the next achievement, creating goal after goal, searching for fulfillment. when i met you, it was like i took a deep breath for the first time. you are my sense of peace. you are my place of rest, my solace, my comfort. i can never say thank you enough. please let me be the one to help you breathe easy. i love you.

minho♡‧₊˚

there are so many different ways to say it, and the simplest version is that i care about you. anything i can do to ensure you are cared for is something i’ll do with great pride. i’ll always peel fruit for you, lend you my coat on the coldest days, offer you a safe place from the rest of the world, and be there whenever and wherever you need me. i’m sorry i can’t think of anything original to say on the matter, but i’ll keep trying. i’ll always care for you, my dear, because i love you.

changbin♡‧₊˚

when i look at you, i realize that all that i have was lacking something important before. my life is rich, and i am so grateful, but everything became more meaningful after you became a part of my life. you are critical to everything i have because it is worth so much more now that i can share it with the person that matters the most to me. you have all of me. i love you more than anything and everything. 

hyunjin♡‧₊˚

you captivate me. even if i attempted to create something new every day for the rest of my life, i don’t think i could find the words or images powerful enough to portray the way you have enchanted me. you changed how i see the world, how i experience life, for the better. i’ll never stop trying to explain the magnitude of what you make me feel because i love you, endlessly. 

jisung♡‧₊˚

knowing you, i finally understand what soulmates are. only something as magical as fate can explain our connection. whether we’re tied by a red thread or written in the stars, i truly believe we are meant to be. it is an unbelievable honor to have you in my life, and it is even more of a gift to be a part of yours. you inspire me. you ground me. i promise that i’ll choose you again and again and again. thank you for finding me. i love you.

felix♡‧₊˚

you are the brightest star in my eyes. when people call me “sunshine,” i think of you, because i have become warmer after basking in your light. thank you for shining in your own way. thank you for teaching me true happiness. i promise to be the best i can be, if only to see your radiant smile shine even brighter. you make everything around you glow. i love you, my star. 

seungmin♡‧₊˚

you are better than a dream come true. knowing you surpasses anything i could have imagined, and yet you are real, right here with me. what a surprise, what a delight it is to be with you! every love song must have been written about you, for i cannot think of anyone more deserving of such beautiful, tender love. you have my heart. i love you.

jeongin♡‧₊˚

i can’t say i’m good at expressing all of this, so i’ll state the obvious: i love you. my life is sweeter with you in it. the good times are more enjoyable, and the difficult times are easier to withstand, all because you are with me. as long as you let me, i will be by your side. i promise to always be there because you make me feel as though i'll never be alone again. thank you for everything. i love you. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[partycatty]

older!johnny cage > overheard

you're caught in the act of swooning over your boss

notes: i'm not even fuckin playing i just woke up from my nap in a cold sweat with this idea haunting my mind so here i am. i truly honestly genuinely cannot stop thinking about dilf johnny and his thick fucking arms and how much i want him to [REDACTED]

[ masterlist ]

• during your break from training, you managed to squeeze in a meal break with one of your closest friends. it was just the two of you, laughing and for once breaking the stoicism implanted into your demeanors from training ruthlessly.

• "jesus, commander cage really kicked our asses today," your friend whined, rolling her shoulder. "i get we're fighting against demons and elementals, but did we really need to run twenty miles?"

• "it wasn't all bad," you shrug, poking at your food. "we've done worse, i feel."

• "oh hush, you had the time of your life," your friend groaned, lightly pushing into your shoulder with a smirk. "you and johnny cage got to run beside each other in formation." your friend was sure to say his name in an announcer voice, wiggling her fingers as she pretended to read a large sign.

• you huff, planting a fist on the table as you try to conceal your embarrassment with faux anger. "oh my god shut up..."

• your mind wanders to earlier in the day. johnny decided to wear only a tank top instead of a long sleeve with a vest, giving you a delicious view of his arms as they pumped during the run. while you two didn't talk, he shared panting encouragements by your side, telling you you were doing so good and how much further you had left. it made running feel almost impossible as each word and grunt knocked the wind from you.

• "jesus, look at you," your friend laughs at your dreamy expression as you replay the memory. "you're down bad, girl, anyone and their mother could tell."

• "is it that obvious?" you murmur, burying your face with your hands. "i'm doomed."

• "nah, you might have a shot," she insists, pulling your hands from your face. "he might be into younger women, most celebrities are."

• "but he's not just a celebrity, he's our superior," you whine, rolling your head back. "i just watch his movies and pretend i'm the love interest."

• "oh, it's bad bad," she laughs, looking past you for a moment. her smile falters.

• "can you blame me? ugh," you rake a hand through your hair. "he's all muscle, he could just pick me up and snap me like a twig! normally i'd settle for height alone but holy fuck he's built like a brick fucking wall!"

• your friend falls silent.

• "and don't even get me started on his age," you point an accusatory finger. "he is 50 something and so fucking fine i can't even bring myself to focus on literally anything ever. i watched some of his old movies, and he literally aged like the finest fucking wine any vineyard has ever even dreamed of making! thank god his daughter is the commander because if he stood around and told me what to do i'd behave so much like a dog it would embarrass me. he is the god damn devil in disguise and i sure a shit don't have a single chance of him even looking in my direction with any more than a smile because at the end of the day i'm just a sad little recruit crushing on a guy who probably has a massive di—"

• "i'm fifty-nine," you hear a low, horrifyingly familiar voice in your ear. you can't even bring yourself to turn around, smile dropping and eyes widening. the only thing you can bring yourself to do is stare across the table at your friend, who's as equally still. maybe if you were still enough, he wouldn't see you. like a dinosaur.

• "lieutenant," you breathe out after a long silence, drunk on the smell of his cologne. "we were just... t-talking about you."

• "oh yeah?" his voice is rumbly, a teasing inflection making you want to burst out in tears. you had a faint suspicion he was behind you the entire time, something he confirmed before you could muster the strength to speak. "sounded more like it was just you."

• "well," you wonder if you can outrun him, stammering as you try to talk yourself out of this. "you know..."

• you finally get the courage to spin in your chair, turning around to face him. he's towering over your sitting form, a shit-eating smirk on his lips.

• "i'm sorry, sir, i'll... i'll do extra push-ups, i'll go overtime on training, scrub the toilets, anything to—"

• he holds a hand up, waving it away as he shakes his head slowly.

• "don't stress it," he stands up straight, crossing his arms. oh my god his arms. "but, uh... just a word, in my office, when you have the chance." you almost miss the wink he sends at you, but you caught it just as he spun on his heel and walked out, a cocky sway to his hips.

• you spin back around, slack jawed at your friend, who's red from holding in her scream of excitement.

• "he's totally gonna bang you on his desk," she finally spits out, covering her mouth immediately after. you just lower your head, hitting it against the table in defeat.

• who knows what he's gonna do to you in his office?

[drdemonprince]

Hi Dr. Price,

I’m a huge fan of your work and I’ve found it immensely helpful in figuring out who I am.

In recent years I’ve discovered I am both AuDHD and Bi. My partner is also Bi and very supportive. However we have been together for over a decade and I’m struggling a lot lately with the fact that I’ve never actually been with anyone else. I’ve been spending a lot of time in queer spaces online and finding myself wishing I could at least experience some of what they do.

I love her more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. She’s not interested in opening things up in any way, which I completely respect and to be fair I’m not even sure that’s truly something I would want either.

I guess I’m just asking if you have any advice on these overwhelming feelings of missing out on aspects of life I never knew I even missed? Other than using porn to get it out of my mind as I’m worried that’s affecting our relationship sexually, which is another issue. Should I find a dating sim game or something to push all of these thoughts on to? It’s kind of messed up but I feel like if I was allowed to flirt online and not actually act on it that might satisfy me? I don’t know.

If nothing else thank you so much for your work and giving me a space to get this off my chest. ❤️

Because I am of the mind that most longings for queer expression/recognition/community cannot and should not be met with media consumption, I'm not going to tell you that there is any kind of game that can simulate queer erotic contact in a way that will be remotely satisfying for you.

You and your partner's desires for your relationship and its boundaries are important and matter, but alongside that, I would also encourage you to listen to that urge that tells you that you'd love to flirt online with a sexy queer stranger as a way to let a little of the steam off.

The wants you are feeling are real, and when disregarded or left unattended they can spiral out in all kinds of unpleasant ways, from just regular garden variety frustration, to resentment, to conducting years long emotional affairs with agoraphobic instagram thot boys you met online (not that I know anything about that).

You want to be recognized by another queer person as a sexually desirable, available person, you want to feel the rush of a developing romance, you want the future to be filled with possibility and excitement, you want to know that your life is not over and that there's still more to learn about yourself and more experiences to enjoy -- these are all good things. These are important things, and I promise you that it is very unlikely that you won't get to experience more desire, attraction, sexual contact, romance, and heartbreak in the years to come.

Most relationships end. Those that last more than a couple of years undergo dramatic shifts over the course of their tenure. And so, it is very likely that you and your partner will either eventually split, or your various desires and capacities will become incompatible in certain ways, and you will contemplate some kind of change to the relationship dynamic (or someone will fail to communicate this and cheat. hopefully not that one. But if it does happen, well. It's very common and not the end of the world or even necessarily the end of the bond).

How does it feel to confront this information? That in all likelihood, this relationship will either end, open up in some way, change dramatically in its dynamic, or be marked by one or both parties stepping out in some way, however small, be it an online flirtation or a kiss at a party or a sexual affair? I think your feelings in response to that information is important too. And that regardless of what you and your partner decide for the time being, it is an important series of potentialities to reflect on and emotionally prepare oneself for. Also worth asking: are these potential futures ones that you can speak to your partner about? One of them will likely be headed for you in time, not through any fault of your own or due to lack of love, but simply because people change and relationships develop, just like a person develops. Whether or not these are subjects that can be broached is itself valuable information, too.

Now personally, I am very biased, but I think there is very little harm in having some virtual sex with a consenting stranger, roleplaying sexy interactions online, even getting on a dating or cruising app and posting a few anonymized photos and seeing what kind of attention you get and enjoying the rush. I think that kind of thing is all within the realm of the harmless and forgivable, but hey, my sister just ended an engagement over her fiance doing that kind of thing, so not everyone agrees with me clearly.

But I think it is worth at least contemplating the full, long continuum of infidelity that exists, from having a whole secret other marriage and family and keeping a partner in the dark about it on one end, say, and making bedroom eyes with a cute person at the bar and fantasizing about what if what if what if, on the other. If your partner did anything along that whole continuum, you might be hurt, and likewise they might be if you do.

You say you love your partner more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. But you can't really promise yourself that. Every partner hurts one another in some way or another, sometimes even intentionally, over the course of a long relationship. But hurting one another in a relationship is, also, not the end of the world. We all make mistakes, say things we regret, lose control of our faculties at times, or are simply forced to reconcile that what we need conflicts with what another person does. And sometimes we put our needs first, even though it's uncomfortable.

I don't regret the times I cheated. I regret the lack of communication and cowardice that brought me to that half-formed, unarticulated decision. But I don't regret ever having chosen to listen to needs that had been powerfully screaming inside of me, typically for years before I attended to them.

I think you and your partner should continue having very frank conversations about these topics, and do your best to regulate your own anxieties and feelings of relationship threat when the other party brings up an activity or an idea that makes the other feel scared. The choice isn't to remain monogamous or to become fully polyamorous with no hierarchy. There are a lot of activities you can both decide are either okay or not okay, and conditions under which you will engage in them.

Even what counts as "monogamy" is subject to fierce debate, that's part of why so many jealous straight people destroy one another so easily. Is texting someone you think is cute in a flirtatious but ultimately just friendly way cheating? Is dancing with someone else cheating? What kind of dancing is okay and is not? Is cuddling on the couch? Working on erotica together? Kissing? Is watching porn with someone else cheating? Is masturbating to a video they sent you?

You might have a very visceral response to these questions, but those are just like, your opinions. They are not set in stone and you can easily find another monogamous person who is just as adamant about completely opposing rules and definitions of what monogamy means to them. And so, it's worth talking with your partner and really being honest with yourself about what it is you want to do, what is decidedly off the table, and what the hell it even is that you two are talking about when you discuss your relationship and its limits.

If it were me, and if I could wave a wand and make you and your partner feel okay about and agree to a set of relationship limits, I think you should consider flirting with actual queer people online. But I can't control other people's behavior or emotions, as much as I have tried. But you can at least contemplate (and then discuss) alternate ways of getting the kind of attention that you desire.

There are lots of things you can do to scratch your itch that are not having sex or dating someone else: LARPing (there is larping that has a sexual or romantic component!). Tabletop games. Acting or improv that incorporates romantic or sexual elements. Going to a sex party and just WATCHING people do stuff. Going to a gay bar and just hanging out and socializing. Going to a cruising bar and watching people fuck. Going to a dungeon for a class or a demo. Going on gay speed dating but secretly agreeing that you're not actually going to take anybody home, you're just gonna see how it feels. Wearing a slutty outfit to pride and waving and winking at people. Exchanging heartfelt letters with a queer friend who you have chemistry with but who respects your relationship.

These are just some ideas, but the possibilities are limitless. One day, you and your partner might agree that you are open to having sex with other people, or flirting, but not to them having other lasting relationships. maybe you'll have threesomes together or one partner will watch the other fuck casual hook-ups. Or maybe you'll just break up. Who knows what the future holds! No matter what it is, you can figure it out with both love and commitment to your partner, but also the courage to name what you are feeling and to honor your desires. None of those things have to be incompatible, and monogamy doesn't have to be incompatible with getting a little thrill here and there either.

Good luck!