#i cannot handle this scene so there are several drawings from it

[thecrenellations]

“I am now a weak scholar and can never again beat you in a fight. What are you smiling about?

“You’re the one who has the advantage. Even if you hit me, I wouldn’t dare hit you back."

“You’re the Crown Prince now. If I hit you, that would be a death wish.”

Advanced Bittersweet Evasion, A Masterclass by Mei Changsu. (aka Nirvana in Fire, ep. 52)

[knickynoo]

Well, I was sufficiently enabled for the idea, so here it is: ✨Alex P. Keaton's Top Neurodivergent Moments✨

The funny thing is that the amount of time I put into scrolling through my encyclopedic mental inventory of Family Ties scenes, compiling these moments in a list, making gifs, and finding past gifsets/analysis to link back to makes creating this post one of my most neurodivergent moments. Good for me.

These will be organized by season (easier for me than trying to rank on a scale) and are in no way ALL of the moments. I'd need like...15 posts for that. Also, tumblr only allows 30 images/gifs per post, so I'm going to include links to past posts when possible.

ENJOY!

• Alex gets his first-ever failing grade and immediately decides to quit school

Exactly what it says. Alex strolls into college all bright-eyed and confident and ends up a broken shell of a guy just a week or so later. The prototypical Gifted Kid from the moment he learned to speak, Alex cannot handle anything less than perfection. Getting the first F of his life shatters his entire self-image, and he wants to drop out of college entirely.

• Alex's friend Doug announces he's getting married, and Alex spirals into despair. As one does.

The entirety of the "Best Man" episode is one big Alex displaying neurodivergent behaviors moment, honestly. There are a whole lot of Alex-centered plots that are set into motion because A Change happens, and he just cannot deal with it, and this is one of the best examples. Alex is so distraught at the suddenly altered dynamic that he wanders the house like a lost soul—sad and confused and needy. He walks in on Steven's shower just to give him a hug, offers to go shopping with Mal and play dolls with Jen, and also draws up a seven-year contract for his other friends to sign to ensure they stick to their regularly scheduled card games, lest they also run off to get married and destroy his life.

• Alex P. Keaton: child development expert

When faced with the news of another sibling on the way, Alex has some very nurturing advice at the ready for when the baby is crying.

• The Keatons all laugh at a funny story. Alex is not amused.

This is one of my favorite Alex scenes of the series. Uncle Rob shares a memory of the time Steven was young and got in trouble because he started rebelling against the system and refused to write his name in the designated spot on his school test papers. The family shares a hearty laugh. Alex, king of black-and-white thinking and lover of rules, is deeply upset.

I love him so much. He genuinely cannot see how they're enjoying such a story. The Name Spot is for names. And his father dared to write in the Not For Names Spot?? Jail for Steven.

He's so ridiculously autistic.

• Alex's favorite childhood toy

It was a cardboard box. I can't quite put into words why this sets off my ND radar, but it does. Maybe it's the being attached to unusual items thing that's common with autism? The intense fixations that make other people go ????

The Alex and Ba-ba plotline provides some wonderful Alex Lore.

• Mr. Mustache

Yeah, those intense fixations? In the "Fool for Love" episode, Alex grows a mustache and legitimately cannot speak about anything else for the several days that follow. He's asked to present a speech at Mallory's homecoming dance and centers his entire speech around his mustache. He's unable to have a conversation that doesn't involve mustaches. It's incredible.

• Everything in "Matchmaker"

Alex is so sweet in this one. After Mallory comes home crying after a bad date, Alex promises to help her find a great guy. Unfortunately, putting someone who struggles socially and with processing emotions in charge of your love life isn't exactly a great fit. Alex uses the power of science to craft a formula to find Mallory's perfect match (he isn't), then tags along on their date and helps foster a very natural environment (it isn't) for the relationship to flourish (it doesn't).

The episode ends with a great scene between Alex and Mallory that shows just how well Mal understands the inner-workings of her big brother's head.

• Divorce is tough. Alex has some advice.

The Keaton kids are shocked to learn that their Uncle Rob is divorcing their Aunt Maureen. As Jen and Mallory reel from the information, Alex helps to reframe things.

He then pulls out the Special Interest Card and compares the divorce of their aunt and uncle to a "failed merger, not unlike the breakup of the phone company—although obviously less emotional. Nothing more than a natural fluctuation in the marketplace of love and marriage."

And the thing is, he IS impacted by the news. He just hasn't the slightest clue how to actually process it. So, a simple failed merger it is!

• You had one job

Mallory needs some croissants for a fancy get-together she's having with her poetry class. Alex helpfully offers to go pick them up.

Now, I debated about this one because there's part of me that's like, "Hmm, did Alex purposely do this to annoy Mallory?" Is this just a jerk move? But you know what? It stays on the list because the whole "I personally don't like this thing and struggle to see how anyone else could. Therefore, I will get the thing I like" is (for me) a relatable aspect of being ND.

• Every single second of "A, My Name is Alex"

For real, though. This episode is a deep dive into how Alex became the person he is, and it is FILLED with "flashbacks" of an intensely neurodivergent child whose issues were made worse by the people around him. (Mostly teachers and peers. Steven and Elyse did their best with him, but I do also have some critiques of the way they parented him). Anyway, he represses his emotions to the point of a meltdown

And then there's this

Full coin gifset here. Also, I made posts on the full episode, which can be found here and here.

• "Alex has a weird body"

That's Mallory's explanation to Andy as to why Alex can't help her when she needs someone to model one of her latest clothing creations. She says Alex's head is too big for his body, and those words, unfortunately, find their way back to him. In a mini plot reminiscent of the mustache one, Alex proceeds to obsess over the comment.

And I mean, I think being told your head is too big for your body would make anyone insecure, but it's the way Alex handles it. He's unable to have regular conversations for a while because he can't stop fixating on the size of his noggin'.

Both of the "Read it and Weep" episodes fit in this list, to be honest

• An accurate statement by Lauren

I've got to include this because it really does neatly condense a lot of who Alex is

So true, bestie.

And then, to wrap this whole thing up, there's all of this

And this is just what I can fit in this here post without going over the limit lol. Obsessed with the way MJF played Alex.

Thanks for reading ✌️

This is me with Alex, btw

[angryshortstacks]

Okay the Yellowjackets brain rot has set in enough for me to have detailed analysis.

So there is this blink and you miss it detail in Taivan’s relationship that I think explains their dynamic so well. The writers set up several situations where Taissa and Van are playing some kind of game: the game where they draw on each others backs, paper football, and then finding the trees at the end of episode 4 (it’s actually more of a bet then a game but bare with me). The first two games are suggested by Taissa and Tai, “always wins.” This is enforced again when their playing paper football because Van keep cursing when she loses and Tai says, “your getting better.”

Tai plays specifically because she likes to win, even says so herself. Van keeps playing likely because she’s bored, because she loves Taissa and their both athlete’s so it’s safe to assume their both somewhat competitive. But this comfortable dynamic shifts with their little bet at the end of season 2 episode 4. Van suggests they go out to see if the symbol is on the tree in that area. Van for once is not going to comfortably accept defeats shes sure she’s right, and Taissa is upset by the idea that Van could be right at all.

Taissa has an inherent need to be in control. We see this continually in her youth and in her adulthood. When she leaves for the plane her parents offer to drive her but she already has a ride. They also tell her to “try to have fun” leading me to believe she holds herself to higher expectations then anyone else. She plans out her life from the school she’s gonna have to the career she’ll achieve from her youth and refuses to change it even when circumstances are making that plan miserable for her. This is why Tai is in such deep denial about her sleepwalking because it is something she cannot control. So she holds onto every bit of control she has, even winning stupid games and petty ideological victories.

Vans life is the opposite of this. The scene in the pilot where she slaps her mother awake tells us that there are people and forces in Vans life that are always out of her control. She’s just used to taking care of situations and roadblocks as they arise. It doesn’t matter to her if she looses every single game to Tai, as long as she keeps trying and maybe she can snag a win. And for Van using taissa’s sleepwalking to find Javi was a win.

I think this paradigm is setting up the downfall of their relationship. their little games set up this idea that taissa needs to win to be in control, and Van is not always going to give her that win, and I don’t think that’s something taissa is equipped to handle.

[blade-liger-4ever]

Just saw this last night, and HOO-BOY, I LOVED IT!

So, I won't really get into the plot, at least for now, because I just gotta get the cast talked about first.

The casting of Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief is perfect! Pierce Brosnen nailed Chiron, and I get the feeling he would have stolen more scenes if he'd had more screentime (the moment he said "Are you kidding? This is the best part", he became one of my favorite background characters.) The kid doing Percy made me really like the character; I never read the books until recently, and even then I skipped straight to the second arc where the Romans are involved, but even with this current book where Percy is a POV character, I did and do not care for him as much as Movie Percy. Kid was great, ten outta ten acting.

Annabeth struck me as far more interesting in the movie than the books. Heck, even before I read from her viewpoint she didn't interest me at all; in the movie, she's rather arrogant and snobbish, but it works in the character's favor and makes her far more compelling. The actress did great, and props to her for endearing Annabeth to me: that was a feat.

Grover was THE BEST of the trio, I will not take criticism. He protected Percy, took everything in stride, and figured out what they were dealing with on the fly easily - all without being Mr. Perfect and still being humorous (e.g. when they leave Medusa's severed and sunglasses-laden head in the hotel sink, Grover responds, "Guys, really? I cannot pee with her staring at me." Top notch comedy, I need more films with this actor.)

Sean Bean was good as Zeus. I don't have much to say about his part, honestly; he wasn't there much, but 1 he made Zeus tolerable, and 2 he had the most presence out of all the actors, with Kevin McKidd being a close, and I mean close, runner up.

Speaking of, Kevin McKidd, AKA Fenn Rau from Star Wars Rebels (and the big draw of this film for me), was. Absolutely. AWESOME.

And he only really had ten minutes in the film!

Seriously though, he played Poseidon so well. You could tell he was thousands of years old, still in his prime, and resisting every instinct to run over, hug Percy, and never let him go when they were within a hundred feet of each other. Even when all you could get from him in the movie was his voice, the care and urgency for his son's safety carried through beautifully.

The other actors - Hades, Persephone, the mortal actors in the background - they were all equally great. They made the characters likable, despicable, or somewhere in between. Bravo, people!

And then there's the second draw of this film for me: Jake Abel as Luke, son of Hermes, and the true lightning thief.

If there was ever anything that showed how much wasted potential the writers of Supernatural had when consistently throwing Jake Abel out the window after having him appear like six times in the show, this film was it.

He made Luke funny, likable, and mischievous, garnering the love of the audience, and then broke the hearts of those who liked him when he turned around and revealed he was an angry, hurt young man who wanted to overthrow the Olympians and take over in their stead in order to "right" their wrongs of being neglectful jerks (the only one who wasn't actually completely neglectful on purpose was Poseidon. My guy was trying his hardest to stay in touch with Percy and did everything he could to help him out.)

Jake Abel, I'm sincerely sorry you never got the next four films that should have come after Sea of Monsters, and even more sorry that you got so dissed in Supernatural. Consider this post of mine a letter of apology.

Okay, plot discussion time - well, at least the gushing of how it was handled.

So, setting up the whole war between the Olympians actually doesn't strike me as horribly handled. Yes yes, there's more "concrete" reasons for it in the book, but for the public who have never heard of these books, it's not all that farfetched. I mean, public opinion of Hades is always bad (I'm sorry Hades, you really don't deserve that rep), Poseidon doesn't particularly care for drama, and his mood tends to switch on a dime, and Zeus? Please, we all know how much of a jerk-butt he is. Be honest: Is it really all that hard to believe Zeus declaring war if his master bolt isn't returned in two weeks? And as for him jumping to the conclusion of Poseidon's son stealing it - just look at the opening scene of the film. The way Poseidon got physical that fast, and moments before was practically spitting venom at Zeus for banning him from seeing his son, it's no wonder Zeus thought Poseidon would've done something to make Percy steal it from him.

Now before you come at me, let me put it this way.

Think of yourself in Zeus' mindset. You're a capricious jerk, who won't take the blame, don't care for your offspring at all, and are constantly at odds with your brothers over power/territory struggles. Using your kid is gonna be as natural as breathing to you, so why wouldn't you assume your brothers would do the same? Hmm?

Now, the family and school drama was done excellently as well, especially that moment where one of the kids at the school grabs another and slams him against a locker while Percy and Grover make tracks. Gabe was perfectly detestable, and it was immensely satisfying to see Grover wallop his butt. The race to Camp Half-Blood was done well, although the Chevelle didn't deserve that fate (I will, however, accept the obvious fact that it only got dinged up and lost the hood. A modern day car would have exploded on impact with the ground and sent shrapnel everywhere.)

The scenes with the camp were good, especially how it was quickly yet subtly established that everyone there had lived there for some years and were already pros at combat and other physical activities. Hades' entrance was great, the progression across the country was well-paced, and Luke's help throughout was done neatly and in a manner where the audience only got a glimmer of resentment from him before the bolt was found in the shield.

Speaking of, the scene in the Underworld is severely underappreciated. The effects were grand, the acting well-done, and the positioning of the Underworld in Hollywood is genius on many levels.

The fight scene in Manhatten was good, though I confess Luke's aerial combat was a bit spotty at the beginning. Otherwise it was great, and the first show of Percy's powers was magnificent. No joke, that CGI and other effects are gonna hold up for another thousand years.

Olympus was beautiful, quite honestly, and I love 1 the sheer difference in scale they showed between the humans and the Olympians, and 2 how Poseidon "sheds" water to shrink and appear more normal. More effects that are spectacular and underrated.

The last scene - the return to camp and training - not much to say, other than that it felt really organic, natural, and beautiful. All in all, a great film that's unfairly hated on.

Okay, now for some personal gushing on my part.

So, I'm sure you guessed by now that I was here for Kevin McKidd, mostly because I knew him first in Star Wars Rebels. This is my first time watching him onscreen, but it was amazing and captivating on his part. Not only did he make me believe that he was the Greek god of the seas, but he made me feel Poseidon's pain of not being with Percy and his desire to connect with him, and he certainly made me believe that Poseidon would do anything in his power to help Percy, no matter what loophole abuse he had to commit lest raising Zeus' ire.

As for the dynamic itself, I'm so so happy.

I love how Poseidon risked so much to physically be at the museum while Percy was across the street from him, just to make sure that he could both warn Percy completely and see him in case something went wrong. And although it's a sore spot for the fans, I love how Chiron shows Percy his own little home at Camp Half-Blood, and outright states that Poseidon built it for him. Just Percy, no one else; that's like a father making a specific room for his son, and the fact that they allowed Poseidon to be shown to love Percy more than anything through little things like that is enough to make me burst in happiness.

I loved how Poseidon guided Percy to the water to heal him and give him a second wind in Capture the Flag, and that he woke up Percy and refused to let him be lulled back into the Lotus Eaters' trap until he was sure Percy was back to his senses and able to get out on his own. And when Percy's in the hall of Olympus, Poseidon is practically begging Zeus, his younger brother, to let him speak with Percy, because he knows a chance like this won't arise again for a while. And the sheer relief in his face when Zeus allows it, man, I could've died at that.

The talk between father and son, it was beautiful. It makes sense that Percy has some remaining resentment toward Poseidon for leaving, for not kicking out his stepfather, and the fact that Poseidon doesn't even hold it against him is wonderful. The moment he explains why he couldn't see Percy, and the second Percy realizes the law forbidding the Olympians from seeing their children had been passed because Poseidon loved him so much he was abandoning his duties is golden. And Poseidon telling him that he was always watching Percy and helping him as best he could, and how he promised to always be there for Percy, even in his thoughts and dreams - beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

And the icing on the cake? You remember that I mentioned a training round at camp at the end? It's between Percy and Annabeth, and they're on a hill, but guess what can be seen below the hill?

The lake.

Where Poseidon can watch his son training, and has an easier time of making contact with him.

This movie is a masterpiece, and if you're not a fan of the books and have never seen it before, please, go give Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief a watch! You won't regret it!

[thecatsaesthetics]

Feysand stans are one step away from being the worst. Why be so threatened with Rhysta?

If we saw the potential of the ship, why would we stoop lower with Feysand?

You Feysand girlies like to rant how we “hate” Feyre for shipping Rhys with Nesta when we’re complaining that if these characters are paired off differently, it would justify SJM’s writing considering how Feysand aren’t supposed to be original endgame in the series. It would even solve certain plot holes.

If you can’t handle that maybe all of you are just threatened that Rhysta is getting more popular now and you worry for Feyre losing relevancy because her character cannot stand on its own and is always attached with Rhysand. Sorry that your ship sinking. Advise for Feysand stans, don’t be an ass just because you don’t like or feel threatened over a ship.

Point by Point I will deconstruct this. First, nobody is "threatened" by R*ysta, we MOCK it. If you like crack ships whatever, but the seriousness of it? Rhys and Nesta would never happen. They aren't remotely interested in one another and they are incredibly different characters.

The reason why people say you hate Feyre is simply by how you make her behave in your fics (this goes for T*msand too) as the wife who's cluelessly getting cheated on or having Nesta flat out steal Feyre's character arc (becoming High Lady, mating bonds etc). Feyre does stand on her own, people love Feyre because she's an actual strong FMC.

Feysand was always end game, SJM has confirmed this several times. Even the newsletter people point to (where she says rewrote ACOMAF) says this:

The romantic arcs of ACOMAF were the same in the original draft and in the final version. That means Feysand was always intended, and you can see this in ACOTAR where she has Feyre draw stars on her draw, seeing a pool of starlight in The Spring Court, and the scene where Rhys felt the mating bond click into place.

Even in her live the other night SJM was saying she knew the romantic plot points of ACOTAR. You can dislike it, but it's a fact. Feysand was the intended endgame and F*ylin was the bait and switch.

Also Feyre and Rhys are overwhelmingly popular among the fanbase. Don't confuse people shouting loudly on tumblr to true popularity. Most people who read and enjoy the books like Feysand. Most people don't keep reading a book series where they hate the main characters.

Feysands aren't bitter over anything, because at the end of the day it's the canon ship. SJM talks them up all the time because she loves them and has written them a happy ending. Feysand and Pro Feyre accounts are MOCKING antis simply because you are wasting your time and energy. Nobody is forcing you to read ACOTAR or interact with the fandom.

If you don't like Feysand, Rhysand or Feyre these books are not for you. SJM is never going to go down "evil Rhys" path or make it so Feysand isn't canon. Feysand is always going to be canon and likely they will end up High King and Queen at the end of the series.

I suggest touching grass and finding a book series you enjoy.

[radfemmovierecs]

Blow the Man Down Review

Welcome to my first review! It only seems fitting that the first review should be of the film that inspired this whole blog in the first place, and that is a film called Blow the Man Down.

I watched this film for the first time in 2021. It was shown to me by a friend who watched it for a set design job she was working (because the set dressing in the film is incredible) and it immediately became one of my favorites. I’ve since shown it to every female friend I have who likes movies, and they’ve all loved it just as much as I have. So, for your assurance, every radfem I’ve ever shown this film to also recommends it. I hope that convinces you to watch it even before you read my review. Now onto said review.

I’ll start with the technical, as this film is one of the most well-made films I’ve watched in the past few years. The camera work is particularly interesting. You have to pay attention when you watch this movie, because every shot is setting something up, if you miss one you’ll miss something that another shot will tie back to later, and that’s hugely important when unraveling this web of mystery. Each of the shots also has a way of showcasing the emotions of the characters in any given scene, and makes the audience feel those same emotions alongside the characters, pulling you into the world and making you feel as though you’re apart of it. Very rarely do films make me forget to look at my phone for the entire duration, but this one did. It’s only an hour and a half but it managed to pack a lot into those 90 minutes, without the pacing dragging or feeling rushed for even a single scene. Another technical aspect of this film that was very well done, was the editing. My film degree was in post production, so when watching films I tend to pay particular attention to the post production aspects. I’ll mention the coloring later as well, and how much life the color brought to the world of this film, but the editing deserves its own mention. Each cut was deliberate, matching the energy of the shots and helping to draw the audience into the scene. One example that showcases the editing very well, and another thing I want to call out from this film is the way it exhibits, or doens’t exhibit violence. I personally cannot handle watching graphically violent movies, and this movie has more than one murder, including one that is incredibly graphic. However, the film does not actually show most of that violence (although warning, it does show a little bit). There will be a shot that will imply what is about to happen, but will cut right before anything actually graphic. The one shot in particular I’m thinking of, it cuts to a shot of the ocean that very clearly implies exactly what happened, but with waves instead of forcing you to watch it. Often in films that deal with violence that are made by men, the film will force you to sit through every gory, graphic, disgusting moment, and will often relish it as well. In many films that do that, the shock value and graphic nature of the film overshadow the plot, if the film even has one. Continuing with the technical aspects, I have to mention the coloring and the music. The coloring and the music in this movie are perfect, and completely reflect the environment (like, that’s exactly what color I’d expect a fishing down in Maine to be, and that’s exactly the music I’d expect to hear if I was walking around said fishing town in Maine that has several underlying secrets), but they also evoke so many emotions all on their own. If you were to look at stills of this movie, or only listen to the score without having seen it, it would evoke the same emotions that watching the film with all its elements put together does. In my opinion, that’s a mark of quality filmmaking. 

This film also tackles a few issues that are routinely addressed in radical feminism, primarily sex work and sexual assault. A major plot point of the film is the existence of the Oceanview Motel, which appears to be a motel on the outside but is actually a brothel, which is an open secret to the residents of the town. Originally meant for the men who pass through on ships as Easter Cove is a port town, it is revealed throughout the film that many of the men who live in the town permanently also frequent the motel, including a high up police officer. While this film does not necessarily have an exclusively radical feminist message or opinion on sex work, several characters do express disgust at the existence of the motel, or at the revelation that those they are close to were involved with it. The film also expresses sympathy to the women who work at the motel on more than one occasion, and does not shy away from the darker side of brothels and sex work, and what happens to those who become entangled in it. Which I appreciated, since typically films that show prostitution either make it out to be something that isn’t a bad thing at all, or the bad things happen to those that are not main characters, making it easy for the audience to brush it off or pretend it didn’t happen at all, which is unfortunately very realistic, and this film was a nice break from that sort of storyline. (In its own way, because the flip side is that we have to watch the bad things happen to characters we’ve grown attached to, and we can’t ignore it or forget about it).

One thing I like to do when watching a film, is count how many women are in the credits, whether their name appears on its own or shared with someone else. In this film, seven out of the twenty names in the credits were women. In spite of this, this film is the epitome of a film you can tell was made by women. It was co-written  and co-directed by the same two women, and there were only two main male characters in the cast. Even in scenes with several characters, the majority of the people on screen or with speaking lines were women. The main villain was also a woman, and she had complex motivations and an actual personality. 

When I think about this film, I think of one of those cork boards with red string that detectives use in solving mysteries, because the plot is exactly like that. The plot is really three or four subplots that are all interconnected and create one larger story, and setting the plot up like that not only makes the film interesting to watch, but it really serves the character development well. The well written plot and well developed characters, combined with the excellent technical aspects of this film, work together to create one of the most interesting and compelling films I’ve watched in the past few years. I rewatch this film often, and rewatchability is one of the more important metrics of a film for me. In conclusion, I recommend it. 

Currently, this film is available to stream on Amazon Prime.

If you made it all the way down here, thanks for reading my first review! There will be more to come 😊

[richardsondavis]

Square Enix Censors English Language 'Final Fantasy XVI' Script, Softens Dialogue Regarding Iron Kingdom's Treatment Of Female Captives

In a move ostensibly made to avoid offending the more easily-outrage-prone among Western audiences, Square Enix has reportedly censored a bit of dialogue from Final Fantasy XVI’s English-language script in order to downplay the brutal reality of the Iron Kingdom’s religious practices. One of several nations that make up the game’s world of Valisthea, the Iron Kingdom is defined by their following of the Crystalline Orthodox, a religion which rejects the idea of a singular ‘God’ – whose identity in-game is later revealed to be that of Ultima – in favor of worshiping the energy-supplying aether crystals that adorn the world’s geography. Per their faith, the Iron Kingdom also condemns the very existence of the Dominants, as they believe the ability for a human to both wield an Eikon and do so without expending the requisite amount of aether to be a perversion of their core beliefs. As such, in an effort to cleanse their borders of what they believe are unholy abominations, the nation has taken to executing any and all children who are born with the potential to become a Dominant – a practice which has drawn the Iron Kingdom the ire of its geopolitical peers. However, despite their disdain for the Dominants, the Iron Kingdom is not above exploiting them for political and military purposes, as seen in their capture and forceful exploitation of the Shiva Eikon’s latest host, Jill Warrick. Eventually escaping from captivity with the help of the game’s protagonist Clive Rosfield, Jill spends her subsequent journey across Valisthea discovering what it means for her to be free and coming to terms with the fact that she cannot move forward in life while the Iron Kingdom’s unconscionable leader, the Crystalline Orthodox High Priest Imreann, still draws a breath. And despite the already bleak nature of the entire game, it is near the end of Jill’s revenge arc that Square Enix apparently decided American players could not handle hearing the truth of the High Priest’s atrocious deeds. In the original Japanese version of the scene, as explained above by noted translator and Aitai Japan founder Audrey Lamsam, “The scene in FF16 where Jill confronts Imreann at the Iron Kingdom is incredibly graphic in Japanese. The English says that Imreann put the kids in chains, but the Japanese version says the children were all female and violated [sexually] before they were ‘sacrificed.” “It’s really messed up,” she then opined, sharing a clip of the scene in the original Japanese. “I was actually shocked when I got listened to Jill’s line during my second playthrough with Japanese audio because the English version softened the violence a bit. It makes much more sense why Jill is so incredibly angry at Imreann- the meaning is much deeper, and Imreann is even more despicable.” As an aside, it should be noted that though Lamsam was responsible for bringing this edit to widespread attention, she was not but not the first to discover it, as she later acknowledged that at least one user, @Christo76683141, had beaten her to the punch. Specifically, in Japanese, Jill decries Imreann’s years of abuse and torture – in particular his daily sacrificing of exclusively female magic-users under the auspices of pleasing the crystals – by declaring,  “I have obeyed you all these years, I fought for you. All to protect these girls you kidnapped, just like me, so they don’t fall to the same fate. Yet what did YOU do? You violated them and killed these girls before my very eyes.” But in English, Jill makes no mention of the prisoners being all-female nor their disgusting violation at the hands of the High Priest, instead exclaiming, “For years, I followed your orders. Fought your wars. All to protect the children you took, just as you took me. And what did you do in return? You put them in chains, and you slit their throats!” [Time Stamp: 01:26] As of writing, Square Enix has not offered any public comment on their censorious decision.

Source is Bounding Into Comics. This is considered censorship by these folks. I mean, they did also consider the Skullgirls drama as censorious and rightly so but this one just caught my attention because of one sentence in the article.

>As of writing, Square Enix has not offered any public comment on their censorious decision.

Censorious, they say? A bit toned down but censorious? I doubt.

I am also a bit amiss by how they phrase their works. It's just a bit extreme to my tastes and they don't really make their case half the time, as I have read. I'll try to look for some but I shan't be happy with it.

[vassia-sparta]

Daemon Targaryen x OC Soulmate AU - Part 2

So, I received a request after I posted my last fic, and this one was created. In this, the bond between Daemon and his wife is explored a little bit more.

Trigger warnings: mentions of violence, child abuse

Part one here

Daemon was never known for his calm demeanor, that much was true. Most of those at court knew not to rile him up, lest they wake the dragon. Much like his Red Wyrm, once angered, Daemon could not be tamed or reasoned with. Yet there was always someone who tried his very best to drive him to his very limits, maybe even over them.

There was no love lost between Daemon and Otto Hightower, the King’s Hand. From the very first moment those two met, you could feel the hostility, the anger gathering in the room like a poisonous smoke. Otto always did everything he could to bring up the volatile and rogue nature of the Targaryen Prince, advising the King to remove him from court, for the good of the realm. Daemon, on the other hand, never lost the chance to tease and taunt his adversary, either through his weak spots, or simply ignoring everything the other man said and doing as he thought best. And in the middle of it all the King and the rest of the small council, trying to keep things from going out of hand.

Today was just one such day, only the scene was unfolding in front of the entire court. The two men were arguing about another bout of harsh punishments Daemon had delivered throughout the city. From what the rumors spoke of, he had maimed or killed at least 30 people, delivering each punishment himself, personally.

“Your Grace, this unchecked behavior of the prince cannot go any further. Reports show that him and his gold-cloaked thugs made a festival of the slaughter, teasing those about to be punished with sneers and jests. There were even some who claimed that one of the soldiers dismembered a man down at the docks, while the prince watched and drank wine with his friends.”

Everyone in the room stood aghast of such a revelation, and you tried your very best not to stumble when the wave of absolute fury hit you like a wall.

Lord Otto ignored the whispers coming from the crowd gathered to hear today’s proceedings, and turned towards the King sitting on the Iron Throne.

“Are we really supposed to let a wild animal like him roam free through the city, doing what he wants to the innocent people of King’s Landing without getting punished for it? Already there are several merchants and tradesmen complaining about the damages done to their shops during the raid. If we let this go on, we will have a riot in our hands.”

Several courtiers agreed with the Hand, while you kept your eyes on your husband. He looked absolutely murderous, his hand twitching on the handle of his Valyrian sword. You knew that, if this went on any further, Daemon would draw his sword, and things would go downhill from then on.

You stood near the front of the crowd, your mind reeling, trying to find a way to ease the tension. It seemed impossible, Daemon was one word away from turning his enemy into pieces before the entire court, and the smug expression on lord Otto’s face didn’t help with the matter.

Then you remembered something you had read in that book from Old Valyria about the magic of the soulmate bond. It was observed among soulmates that, when one of them were in some sort of distress, the other could have a calming effect on them if they could focus on it. You had read about a young dragonlord who had managed to calm down his wife during her labor. The child was descending feet first, causing so much pain to its mother that she had seized the healer’s knife and tried to cut through her belly to get the baby out. The young lord had managed to stop her and held her in her arms, whispering soothing words to her as the midwife tried her best to turn the baby around and deliver it safely. He had been successful, and both the mother and her child had made it through the ordeal.

You knew that you couldn’t just go and hug your husband in order to do the same, but you could at least try to use the bond to somehow ease his anger. You took a few deep breaths, letting everything else around you fade and focus on your connection. The fiery waves of anger still came through, one stronger than the other. You closed your eyes, bringing to mind one of the most treasured memories you shared with your husband.

A few months into your marriage, Daemon had taken you for your first flight on his dragon. Caraxes had taken quite a liking to you, and the two of you had flown on his back all over Blackwater Bay, before landing on a small island within sight of Dragonstone. Daemon told you that he used to come here as a kid after his parents died, to escape the tediousness of court life and the many women who wanted him for their husband.

“It’s my resting place, the one place I can be myself, without anyone judging me or glaring at me,” your husband had whispered as you both lay on the grass staring at the clouds passing over you. It really was a small paradise, with a small patch of trees to the south, some rocky hills with caves under them, and a small beach with white sand and small seashells spread all over it. You really could see yourself living here for the rest of your life, just you, Daemon and all the children you would have. No courtiers, no fights with devious men who sought to hurt your husband, only peace, clear skies and the endless sea surrounding your home.

You felt the anger slowly fading away, a sense of calmness and peace replacing it. It was as if a gentle sea wave washed over you, putting out the fire, leaving you cool and refreshed. You opened your eyes and looked at your husband. He looked calm, but also surprised. He glanced at you, and you gave him an encouraging smile. His eyes shined with joy, a small smile gracing his face.

Then he turned to his adversary, but there was no anger this time. Instead, the sense of calm was reinforced somehow, stabilizing it.

“I think you are missing a few key pieces of information my lord Hand, allow me to enlighten you,” Daemon simply stated, his voice steady.

Otto Hightower looked at him with distrust, but said nothing.

“The raid I conducted last night was not like the one I led some years ago. That time I had punished all the criminals I could find, yes, but last night has specific targets.”

“And what targets were those?” the lord Hand questioned.

“Ever since I returned from the Stepstones, I have been trying to restore the Watch back to the standards I set when I was in charge. Though most of the men are honorable, dedicated to their duty, there are some among them who have been corrupted by bribes, paid to look the other way so criminals can continue conducting their business without interruption. One such criminal is a man named Timeon Black, so nicknamed for his rotten heart. He was one of the last men I arrested last night, and the only one I left for the King to decide his fate.”

“And what has that man done to deserve punishment?” the King asked his brother.

“He is the leader of a pack of thugs who have been trying to rule over most of Flea Bottom, one way or another. Some are paid by the traders to make sure their shops are not damaged, others kidnap people to enslave, including girls to be sold to the Street of Silk, as well as orphans from the motherhouses, to be trained and used as fighters in fighting pits, either against animals or each other.”

“Gods be good,” the King gasped, as did several of those amongst the crowd.

“After I made sure the goldcloaks in league with that monster were detained and locked up in the Black Cells, me and ser Harwin took 100 of our best men and hunted down each and every one of Black’s men, delivering to each of them the punishment they deserved for their crimes. Yes, if you don’t know what those men did, the punishments I delivered sound harsh. What do you think now that you know the entire story?”

Lord Otto stood speechless, his lips pressed together tightly.

“As for the man we dismembered, he was the gatekeeper of the fighting pits, in charge of keeping the children fighters locked in their cages, like wild animals. When we burst into the building, he had been beating a 10 year-old girl with a walking stick for losing him a lot of money. When he saw us he just smiled, kicking her back in her cage before he tried to attack my men. I ask you, what would you have done, give him a slap on the wrist?”

The Hand had absolutely nothing to say. You could feel the glee enveloping your mate, bright and sparkling.

“You have performed your duties with excellence,” the King glanced at his brother, his gaze full of pride. “I do recognize that such acts of violence may sound cruel, but against such heinous criminals, it was exactly what should have been done. Continue to perform your duties as you see fit, and I will see to it personally that the men that assisted you to this raid are given rewards for their actions. My lord Hand,” he turned to the other man, “perhaps you should make sure you have all the information before you start making accusations. Your relentless campaign to sully my opinion of my brother is becoming tiresome.”

Daemon bowed to his brother, then turned to leave, not even glancing at Otto Hightower. The Hand bowed to the King as well, then disappeared through a back door, ignoring the whispers of everyone around him.

Your husband approached you, his eyes shining. You could feel the happiness filling him, and that in turn made you happy.

“May we take a walk in the gardens my lady?” he enquired, offering his arm.

“Of course my dear husband,” you nodded, taking his arm and letting him walk you out of the throne room.

He led you to a secluded spot in the gardens, away from prying eyes and ears.

“What did you do to me?” he asked when you both sat on a stone bench near a rose bush.

“I tried to calm you down,” you shrugged, smiling softly at him.

“But how?”

“You were about to attack that bitter excuse of a man, and I was not going to let him take advantage of your temper. You might be a monster to him, but to me you are my hero, my dragon knight. I simply used our bond to ease your anger and help you think more clearly.”

Your mate took your face in his hands and kissed you softly, filling you with warmth and joy.

“What have I done to deserve you?” he whispered, his violet eyes staring into your very soul.

“You are an honorable man with a good heart my love, and don’t you forget it. Now, let us put the events of this day behind us. How about we go take Caraxes for a flight, maybe visit Driftmark?”

“That sounds lovely,” Daemon smiled.

-----

Hope you enjoyed it!

Taglist: @alexandra-001, @the-mechanical-angel

[whimsicalwhespir]

Hey there :]

SO! I noticed a huge lack of mikey angst in this fandom which is unacceptable. Therefore, I must make it myself! Introducing...

ROTTMNT MYSTIC GHOST AU (Mikey Edition)

The angst will be strong with this one guys (don't worry tho, it has a happy ending because I physically cannot handle bittersweet or heartbreaking finales). Anywho, ONWARD WITH THE AU!! (In bullet points!)

(Everything in the world is the same up until the end of the movie. Instead of Mikey being with Donnie and Raph for all three to share the burden of opening the portal to save Leo, he ends up alone in the rubble of NY. He has communication with them, he's just apart location-wise.)

With Leonardo still in the other dimension, Mikey has the same burst of determination as he does in the movie with the only difference being that he's alone.

With the dust settling around him, Mikey realizes what's happened to his older brother. He also quickly hears how distraught his other family members are, with Raph and Donnie soon giving up on reaching Leonardo, already in the mind that they'll never get him back.

But Mikey? With his knowledge of what he becomes in the future, he refuses to let Leo die.

With all his strength, Mikey opens a portal successfully and uses his weapon to grab onto Leo as soon as he's spotted, pulling him to safety before the Krang even have a chance chance to react.

Overhearing the victory from their communicators, the family momentarily celebrates the return of their blue brother before everything goes downhill.

Without Raph and Donnie to help Mikey open the portal, he quickly deteriorates like his future self and collapses in Leo's arms, sunshine colored cracks leaking through his skin and shell at an alarming rate. Leo desperately tries to save his little brother but nothing seems to work, with the two being too severely injured to run for help.

Their family over their devices have to listen as a Mikey's weak voice utters his last words to Leo, before fading to dust as the breeze carries what's left of his body away.

An eye for an eye. One life for another.

While the three remaining turtle brothers sob and cry out to the sky in horror, mourning the sudden loss of their baby brother...

Michelangelo wakes up.

LEMME KNOW IF YOU WANNA HEAR MORE CAUSE I HAVE A DOC I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS ALL DOWN ON!! I'LL ALSO PROBABLY BE DRAWING SCENES FROM THE AU SO WOO! Comment, reblog, etc, just let me know one way or another if you're curious as to what happens next! <3

[wistfulwatcher]

If you’re comfortable doing so could you elaborate on what you didn’t like in the series?

well, if you're gonna twist my arm! negative tl*vm takes under the cut. spoilers through ep 6.

ok the big picture issue for me is that there have been massive and entirely unnecessary changes to the plot, and characterization issues I just cannot ignore any longer. I tried. I really tried to let it go and watch with an open mind, but my god, what are they doing???

I'm still too upset to make this a coherent essay so have a bulleted list in no real order instead:

WHY IS RIPLEY WORKING WITH UMBRASYL. LIKE. LITERALLY W H Y. having her send umbrasyl after the party/kamaljiori is incredibly unnecessary. part of ripley's cleverness was using the scry device to get information without tipping her hand. and since she has cabal's ruin (or did, literally any changes are fair game now I guess), vm will have to go after her to get it back. it's not like there was storyline that needed to be cleaned up or condensed for time, so literally WHY change that.

the kamaljiori puzzle!! if i had a nickle for every time an adaptation wrote out a sphinx puzzle i cared A Lot about from a beloved story I'd have two nickles (vm and harry potter) I was SO FUCKING STOKED for that puzzle, and the challenge they replaced it with was not great. I did genuinely enjoy the song, but god. I get that they were trying to make scanlan getting mythcarver about him earning it but that's just not how it worked with half the vestiges. pike didn't earn the plate of the dawnmartyr on her own or with particular focus on her, and the same for keyleth and the spire of conflux. it's also especially stupid that they took away the elemental puzzle considering this was ONE EPISODE after keyleth ~earned her fire elemental state (which - eh, I'm back and forth on how I feel about how they're doing her aramente, but at this point it's a minor issue). A NAME IS SUPPOSED TO BE EARNED.

the GRATUITOUS UMBRASYL/KAMALJIORI FIGHT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. WHY. YOU HAVE SO MUCH STORY TO GET THROUGH WHY ARE YOU EATING EPISODE TIME WITH A FIGHT WE DON'T NEED. this also goes for the not-beholder fight, but we'll get to that. I literally tuned out for several minutes because I was so frustrated by it.

I didn't love that grog was ignoring pike and stabbed her, as opposed to the true accident during the puzzle. in part because I genuinely loved, "it's ok, grog" and wanted to hear ashley deliver that finally but mostly because grog DOESN'T IGNORE PIKE. EVER. she is his compass and he consults her always! all things considered, this is also a minor issue at this point since it wasn't terrible, but I didn't love it.

why the fuck did they split the party!!!! what does that achieve?!!!! why is keyleth so bad at magic?!! this is back to that waffling on how I feel about the aramente point. her aramente is a little about magic/skill development, sure, but it has ALWAYS been much more about her growing as a person. why the fuck are we giving her all these issues when her actual problems are about emotional connection?? the stuttering with magic thing is just frustrating, especially because we already have pike doing that (which DOES make sense, and I've liked that change/felt it fit really well). ANYWAY we're going to have to do two split storylines now which is ONLY going to serve to draw things out longer. so once again, we are making changes that don't condense or simplify things that could be! like. hey. maybe stop adding shit in so that we can get an actual emotional exchange between the couples or comedic scene that isn't about scanlan??

SCANLAN. I dislike how they're handling him. again, minor issue at this point, but part of why him leaving after raishan was SUCH a gut punch was because no one - players or audience - saw it coming. I really liked that. I get that they have the ability to clue the audience now in a way that they didn't during the campaign (I think a lot about how this might have been ruined had they had talks from the beginning of c1, glad we didn't know tbh) but I actually prefer it blindsiding the audience

the comedy is just. it's missing. the number one thing I come back to about campaign 1 is that it was the funniest. it was fun and heartwarming and A GOOD TIME between the Big Danger. I expected it to get whittled because this is a dense arc, but I didn't expect it to get truly obliterated. where is my broom target practice? where is vax getting locked in a closet because he's day drunk? where is the shopkeeper getting sold the knick knacks of kaa?? the entire party trying to ~appease galdric and then grog just telling him to heel???? one of these. I just wanted one.

ZAHRA. Z A H R A. I tried to be ok with the changes. I really, really did. but the zahra I love is unrecognizable from the tiefling we have in tlovm. for her to send the not-beholder at the party to ~test them? like. small mercies in that she apparently wasn't trying to kill them or keep the vestige for herself but that is literally the lowest bar I could possibly set. the zahra I know urged kash to help the party MULTIPLE times because it was the right thing to do. the zahra I know can't stand people being hurt or trapped. WHERE WAS SHE. honestly I just...all I could think of during ep 4 was how BAD I felt for mary elizabeth. I can't believe this is a character she wanted zahra to be.

KASH. I care less about him than zahra because zahra is a legit fave, but I really liked kash?? I really liked the zero charisma dead-pan cleric who was afraid to use his big powers. he was also gone! why on EARTH did you give all of zahra's altruism to kash? why make him ~charming? he flirted with keyleth of course, but part of why it was so GOOD was that he wasn't slick about it! he is a mean flirt! it just worked because keyleth is also A Mess! these were two VERY inexperienced people stumbling into a flirtation, which was what was charming.

ok. it's time to talk about vax. a character I love. like, genuinely love. maybe one of my favorite male characters ever. I hateeeee what they are doing with him. the not-beholder fight was U N N E C E S S A R Y. I don't like the visions of purvan. I don't like that he is ~chosen. I don't like that he's been seeing the raven queen before the resurrection. I was able to let it go before, but now that I see the direction they're taking him I H A T E it. vax wasn't chosen. vax didn't have some special connection to her before the resurrection. vax's ties to her are ALL ABOUT VEX (at least to begin with). he drags his feet every step he takes towards the raven queen. his becoming her champion is a constant struggle that doesn't get resolved until nearly the end of the series. it's such a slow burn, and it comes from both sides! they spend ~50 episodes making it work, but it is a choice. an active choice! vax chooses to put the armor on, after vex urges him to. I suppose they were trying to do that with vax's ~memory of vex, but it was the complete opposite of that entire conversation. tlovm!vex told him that it was out of his control. c1!vex told him the values of the raven queen, and points out that they're aligned with the twins' values! she helps vax see why he could choose to embrace her, NOT THAT HE HAS NO CHOICE.

new block because I have too many feelings apparently!

also, vax telling keyleth they don't have time to go to pyrrah?? who is this man. where is vax 'number 1 keyleth fan supporter of everything she does' ildan? also just the sheer lack of care about people who are suffering?? not the vax I know. this lack of support also made korrin identifying vax as keyleth's love interest just hysterical - based on how they interacted in front of korrin, how ON EARTH would he know. give me my gooey 'we're almost dating but not quite yet!!!' couple

AND GIVE ME MY FUCKING PERC'AHLIA SLOW BURN. other than the blush with the coat, and the "darling, take off the mask" last season, do non-c1 viewers have any clue about their dynamic and interest? even the vax punch gave no hint to perc'ahlia; he could have been talking about anyone in the party because it was so short and all about vax. (had you not had the not-beholder fight, conversations sure could have been longer than 5 seconds!!!)

and now it's time to talk about vex. I miss her. because the woman in tlovm is not the character I love. I actually have so many complaints at this point I don't know where to start. this vex is just...so two dimensional. vex is my favorite because of just how complex and well-developed she was. where are her soft moments? where are her playful moments? vex is SO NOT 'hot girl who shoots arrows and never loses her cool'. also if you're going to give her the broom without any mention of her greed ("I'm well aware that my greed is what got me killed" and then PROCEEDS TO STEAL like. *breathes out* fine.), at the very least can you let her talk about flying? can we get that tiniest of peeks into her psyche?

WHY ERASE RAVEN'S SLUMBER. I was looking forward to galdric, and that would have taken a FRACTION of that not-beholder fight.

ok that's it for now, I think. I reserve the right to add to this because I am very much that comic of "i'm letting it go. ok one more thing" that I can't find right now. but I'm letting it go. for real. I will just modulate my expectations moving forward, try to separate tlovm from the campaign, and rewatch campaign 1 for all the good stuff ❤️

[demilypyro]

I feel like ranting about Genshiken Nidaime and its handling of an un-selfaware transgender character, because I'm on my second reread, and I have things to say, so I will.

Genshiken Nidaime's portrayal of Kenjirou Hato honestly comes very close to my own experience with my gender, as it took me years and years of just thinking I was a weird effeminate guy and just "pretending" to be a girl on the internet for me to come to terms with who I am. Stories like this are very vulnerable to people who refute any possibility of a character being trans because the character does not believe themselves to be, but that kind of experience is exactly what makes it so relatable to people who have been through that. I'll be referring to Hato with gender neutral pronouns since their gender identity is technically up to interpretation.

Genshiken is not a very popular manga among trans people, most likely because most of its cast are pretty ignorant of actual gender theory, most of them being stereotypical anime fans. A lot of words and ideas are thrown around that may be seen as offensive depending on your sensibilities, so it doesn't exactly always work as affirming media. Still, I think it's interesting to have a story dealing with gender with characters who are so realistically biased, and how they can become better through interacting with a genderqueer person. It's clear that none of the characters involved are actually bad or bigoted people, they really are just ignorant, including Hato, and they become more accepting and understanding of Hato as the story progresses.

For the uninformed, Kenjirou Hato is a character introduced in Genshiken Nidaime as a crossdresser. Their explanation is that their interest in yaoi is more typical coming from female otaku, aka fujoshi, so to fit into their college’s local otaku club and be able to talk about yaoi freely, they present as feminine while there. Hato's presentation is near flawless, even going so far as to train their voice to a perfect feminine sound. 

It should be noted that Hato, in their female persona, is considered one of the most attractive women in the club, far exceeding most of their female otaku friends. The amount of effort they put in their presentation is shown to make several of their female friends insecure about their own feminity, making the amount of effort Hato puts in feel almost over the top. Still, their assigned gender is accidentally discovered on their very first day there. Curiously, even when this cat is out of the bag, they seem almost entirely unwilling to show up to the club while dressed as a man, resorting to attend classes as a man, leave campus, change, come back, and attend the club as a woman.

Hato is clearly beset by a lot of biases and preconceptions about gender and sexuality that limit their ability to come to understand themselves. They, at least for the duration of Nidaime, consider themselves to be a heterosexual man, and thus are afraid of any attraction they feel towards men, as they have not accepted the possibility that they might be into men. Hato for a long time believes that this attraction they're feeling is all the result of getting carried away when they dress feminine. It's not helped by Hato being an avid yaoi fan, which leads them to relate homosexuality mostly to the realm of fantasy, another obvious bias. When they actually fall in love with a man, their upperclassman Madarame, they panic, immediately stop presenting as feminine, and swear off their yaoi interest, as if any of that actually has anything to do with their own sexuality. Of course, that doesn't work.

One particular aspect I found really relatable were Hato's delusions. In various scenes where they're alone and dressed as a man, a sort of manifestation of their femininity appears, taking the form of a naked ghost of their feminine persona, and appears to nudge their actions as if with intrusive thoughts. There's a lot of ways to interpret this, but I personally believe Hato's biases and double life led them to distance their male and female identities so far that they cannot consider their femininity to be part of them when they present as masculine, and instead experiences those impulses as if they were coming from outside themselves. I’ve personally experienced something similar while deep in denial. This is supported by them being willing to use their male persona as material for their homoerotic art, which, if you're fervently in denial that you're into men while drawing homoerotic art of yourself, that's a lot of mental gymnastics you're doing, there, buddy. In any case, Hato’s biases and repression run so deep that in an effort to make sense of things, they cause them hallucinations.

Where things start to fall apart (or come together?) for Hato is again when they fall in love with Madarame. This is a bit after where the anime ends, so everything from here on is just from the manga. After a lot of denial, and a scene where it turns out Hato has been drawing art of their *feminine* persona getting intimate with Madarame, there is finally a scene where Hato seems to accept that their feminine impulses and interest in men were always part of themselves, and from that point they relatively stop denying themselves, and actively become a contender for Madarame's affections. Their decision to stop presenting feminine is reversed entirely, and the intrusive-thought ghost no longer appears, as those ideas were always coming from Hato's own repressed mind.

That’s where it ends as far as Genshiken is concerned, but the elephant in the room here is Spotted Flower, the sort-of-sequel to Genshiken Nidaime which is of dubious canonicity. Many characters appear whose appearance and personal history line up near-perfectly with the cast of Nidaime, though nothing is ever explicitly confirmed, and some of the names don't seem to match. In Spotted Flower, the character who is easily linked to Hato is a bisexual transgender woman, even sporting breast implants, who has become a professional mangaka (still focusing on yaoi). Her transgender status does not appear to be known to anyone but old friends, so it would appear that she is living as a woman full-time.

If you consider Spotted Flower to be canon, this almost 100% confirms that Hato was a trans girl all along, and that Nidaime was the story of them working through the biases that prevented them from realizing this. Again, as someone who went through something similar, I found it all to be intimately relatable, on a deeper level than most stories out there that deal with these topics.

[thefools-journey]

So. Some of you may be wondering why we haven’t written a whole ton about the secondaries or what have you. Here’s the reason: we were waiting for them to end before we really dug into the problems we were noticing. We felt that it was only fair to wait for the routes to finish so that we had an understanding of the writers’ vision. Who knew, we thought, maybe they would see the problems themselves and course correct, maybe they are building to something we can’t quite see yet and these issues will have actual payoff, maybe-

In light of Muriel and Lucio’s endings, and the general mess that has dominated Portia’s route for a year plus now, we are breaking our silence. We are actually going to talk about this shit show.

The fandom at large has talked about a bunch of issues with the secondaries but for me, the cardinal sin, the thing that really all the issues lead back to, is this: the writers lost sight of the tarot themes which so strongly defined and held together the primary routes. Let me explain.

The primary routes each center around three thematic cores:

The Love Interest’s Major Arcana and its Reversed/Upright meanings

The MC’s Fool’s Journey, both how it can go right and how it can go wrong

A question about the MC’s identity and their relationship to said identity

Asra’s route asks: Who was the MC? How does the MC navigate a past they cannot and will not remember? What do they owe a past they cannot remember? How do they handle the revelations of what Asra, Nadia, Julian, etc did? How do you right the past? Can you?

Nadia’s route asks: Who is the MC? The MC has no past. Are they the Fool only? Are they actually the same person they were? How can they tell? Who are they, really? Are they an imposter? No one can answer these questions for them.

Julian’s route asks: Who will the MC become? How does the MC see their future? Is there anything worth fighting for for that future? What will become of them and their loved ones? 

Now, if you notice, these themes are expertly woven throughout the primaries. Asra’s past dominates his route, Nadia is also missing memories and trying to construct her identity both with her family and with Vesuvia, and Julian’s fear of the future drives his flailing for control. Asra has to learn to take a broader view of his actions to get his Upright Ending, Nadia has to learn to trust herself and those around her for hers, and Julian has to learn how to let go for his. These lessons are the issues their cards stand for. The primaries are so dang elegant and delicate in their handlings of theme it is honestly awe-inspiring.

Thematically, the secondary routes have completely lost their hearts. First of all, the MC does not have strong, core questions which need to be answered. They just don’t. I suppose the writers did not want to retread old territory (which is weird considering how tightly bound the primaries are; it really tricks you into thinking you’re living the same events but from different angles depending on your route) but they did not replace the old with anything new. Muriel’s route is, on the surface, about discovering and owning his past, the good and the bad. Why not tie MC’s self-discovery to that story? Or they could have taken the angle that Muriel’s route is about convincing him to be present and active in the world while MC builds an identity for themself outside of Asra, the shop, and the memories they cannot retrieve. Why not tie the investigation themes running through Portia’s early route back to MC and their past? Portia has the unique angle of being as in the dark as MC about all of this, why not discover the past together? And for goodness’ sake, Lucio has no future when his route begins, why not tie that to his need for growth, responsibility, and MC’s own future between the Fool, the Devil, or something mortal and in between?

Secondly, the routes lost their tarot backbone. We have a primer on how to get specific endings for each LI and it still holds, but the writers did not follow through on the thematic coherence of each secondary. The Hermit is looking for something, be it perspective, insight, a solution to a problem, whatever. The key here is that the Hermit must find or learn what they are searching for, this thing must change their understanding of the world, and finally, they must bring this lesson back to the world from which they retreated. Can someone please enlighten me as what exactly Muriel learns then teaches the world around him? Nothing Muriel learns from Morga, MC, or even the Hermit ties back into anything. The Devil warns that you are out of control and exerting a lot of manipulative, destructive behavior on the world around you. It asks you to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. So can someone tell me why Lucio’s route actively avoids any interaction or reflection on two of Lucio’s biggest victims: Muriel and Julian? Why does the route only try to make amends with the “easier” of his victims in the cast? The Star is first and foremost the card of clarity, the light at the end of the tunnel. Perseverance, if you will. Yet Portia’s route has been the muddiest of the trio; the writers drop the investigation aspect of her route in favor just handing her and MC information they could have easily found and muddying the waters with Tasya (she blows up the palace but it’s all okay bc she has a secret daughter Julian never thought to bring up or mention) and the complete removal of the Devil as antagonist. 

So that leaves just the Fool’s Journey trying to hold this stool up with only one leg. And well...it doesn’t go well. At best, the secondary route books pay the barest surface level homage to the themes of the individual cards. At worst, they ignore the cards completely. Muriel's Moon book has nothing to do with illusions or delusions or lies or even an Alice in the Looking Glass upside down world. Portia's back half is a complete and utter mess, starting with her Temperance book being so badly mangled that Muriel's aftermath book does it better. Lucio's route too bungles the Tower and the Star. There just isn't enough here to carry the routes alone.

Add to the core loss the loss of intertextuality. The primary routes are very good, even great but they too do have their moments and mistakes. What helps strengthen them when the cores stumble is how the trio is woven together. Things you learn in Asra's route can inform the way you play Nadia's, for example. Julian's route informs what is going on in Asra's route and slots some missing puzzle pieces together. Nadia's route tells you of the power struggles she is facing and informs the other two routes' handling of Julian and his trial. On and on, the three routes support each other because they are built out of the same basic plot beats, just tackled in very different ways. Now, the writers are allowed to try and write whatever they want. They apparently wanted to be more experimental and less tied down to an overarching plot with the three secondaries. Okay, fine, they are allowed to do that. The problem is that they sacrificed one of the key strengths of the primary trio and didn't replace said strength with anything else. They also, on some level, harmed the very premise of the game, which is that only the player's choices and route selected change the overall plot. Instead of feeling like legitimate possibilities or offshoots of the same timeline/plot, the secondaries feel almost like Arcana AUs. The secondaries throw out all relations to the primaries and each other as quickly as possible and for what? 

It is probably the height of arrogance to suggest fixes for works whose behind the scenes I do not know. At the same time, some small, obvious changes could have salvaged Muriel and maybe Lucio's endings (rip Portia). Instead of having the Hermit appear as a disappointing cameo, why not have him say something cryptic to Muriel, then have MC start trying to seal the Devil. Then let Muriel use his forget me mark to cloak MC and hide them from the Devil's attacks. Protecting MC by hiding them from Lucio, keeping him focused on Muriel, seems to me a simple third solution between Muriel's desire to run and his desire to never fight again. It lets him stand up to Lucio and let him have it while holding onto who Muriel has become. The Reversed End would have MC try to draw Lucio's attention at some point, disrupting the sealing, and eventually leading to Muriel killing the Devil. With Lucio's Upright End, I just have to ask: why doesn't MC fully claim the power of the Fool instead of the Devil? We don't need the other Arcana involved in this fight; we have three routes that demonstrate that. Just have MC pull Scout into the conflict, then have Lucio tell MC he believes in them, then add his power to the mix. You got yourself a full Fool who leaves Scout guarding the realm until they and Lucio's mortal bodies fail and they return to the realm to be together forever. Boom, you're done, you can even add some ambiguous lines so that players can decide how happy their MC is with this arrangement, send me the check.

Here is the bottom line. Our group is full of aroace, and several combinations therein, individuals. We are the last group who should have gotten into a dating sim of all things. But the Arcana did something with the primaries that was special; they wrote a compelling plot with dazzling lore, complex characters, and strong themes wrapped up in a dating sim bow. The writers know better and we know they know better. I do not know what happened with the secondaries, especially around books 10-11, which is where minor issues slowly start spiraling into major ones, but it is clear that Nix Hydra needed some more planning before they released these routes. Hopefully they will learn.

TL;DR: Nix Hydra fired their tarot consultants about eighteen months ago and it has wrecked their secondary routes until they were just embarrassments. They never intended for the secondary routes to even exist and once they had to make them, they scrambled and threw out everything that made the primaries work.

- Mod Telos

[queenshelby]

The Secret – Part Four/Final Part

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Fem Reader

Words: 2050

Warnings: Smut

Tag List (Cillian Murphy):

@lilymurphy03  @deefigs @theflamecrystal   @desperate-and-broken  @weepingstudentfishhorse   @livinginfantaxy  @rosey1981  @atomicsoulcollecto  @peakyboyslover  @nerdy4itall  @elenavampire21  @hanster1998  @mariapaiva13  @fairypitou  @harry-is-my-sunflower  @zozeebo  @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa  @littlewierdalien  @sad-huffle-nerd  @theflamecrystal   @peakymalfoyscullymulder  @themissthang  @0ghostwriter0  @stylescanbeatmyback  @1-800-peakyblinders​ @datewithgianni  @momoneymolife  @ntmynouis

Cannot Tag (please check your settings):

@l0tsofpennies @margoo0 @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee  @daydreamingnymph  @fookingshelby  

-----------

Over the next two weeks, Cillian and you continued to keep your relationship a secret on set. You both believed that no one knew that you were seeing each other. But this was far from the truth. By that time, both Emma and Anthony knew about you. Yet they never spoke about it.

Anthony could understand why you and Cillian weren’t forthcoming about your relationship. You only just started working on set during this season of Peaky Blinders and Cillian was one of the producers. There would clearly be some controversy and gossip if people found out especially since there also was a rather large age gap between you.

Nonetheless, you hated to keep your relationship a secret especially when you saw other women on set showing some interest in Cillian.

There was one woman in particular who bothered you and this was Cillian’s new assistant Amanda.

She showed an obvious interest in Cillian and, being Cillian, he was oblivious about it which was somewhat adorable. He never noticed when women were crushing on him, yet he was the one who tried very hard to set everyone else up on dates.

After some filming during early hours of the morning, Amanda had yet another breakdown. It seemed that she couldn’t handle Cillian’s erratic schedule and, whilst you knew that Cillian was somewhat frustrated about it, he remained calm and even gentle, telling her not to worry too much about getting things wrong.

He was a patient and kind man and you loved exactly that about him, but when it came to Amanda, his kind and patient nature irritated you and you were just about to have your first argument.

In his trailer, you couldn’t help but confront him about his interactions with Amanda.

‘You do realise she is doing these things on purpose to get your attention, right?’ you sighed as Cillian read through his schedule for the remainder of the day. By that time, you both had already been up for five hours and you were tired after you had spent all night together with Cillian.

‘Are you jealous?’ Cillian chuckled with a grin on his face, not taking you seriously at all.

‘No, why would I be jealous?’ you asked annoyed just before Cillian took both of your hands into his and pulled you closer towards him.

‘Exactly. You have no reason to’ Cillian said before pressing his lips onto yours. ‘I am in love with you, no one else’ he added as your lips drifted apart.

‘I am just over this…us hiding our relationship from everyone. Despite, she is clearly taking it a bit far don’t you think?’ you pouted, waiting for Cillian to kiss you again.

‘She is very attentive, that’s for sure’ Cillian chuckled, ignoring your comment and your pout, but deep down inside, he was sick of it too. He didn’t like Amanda’s behaviour and he hated having to hide his feeling for you. He wanted to spend every night with you without guilt or having to worry about getting caught, especially after a long day of filming.

‘You aren’t taking me seriously Cilly’ you pouted again and, just after you did, Cillian pressed his lips back onto yours.

Just as you were sharing another passionate kiss, you heard a knock on the trailer door.

‘Cillian, it’s Amanda. Would you like to grab some lunch?’ she asked, causing you to roll your eyes once again with his lips still on yours.

Cillian pulled away and laughed quietly for a moment before he shouted out ‘Sorry Amanda, I can’t. Y/N and I are rehearsing the next scene’ Cillian said loudly but yet politely.

‘We are?’ you asked, causing Cillian to laugh and nod at the same time.

Amanda left shortly thereafter and, just as she did, you placed your thumb over Cillian’s lips suggestively.

‘Alright, so, let’s rehearse’ you whispered and pulled him even closer towards you. In response, with one swift movement, he sat you up on the trailer’s kitchen bench.

‘You do realise this next scene is between Tommy and Lizzie though, right?’ you smiled.

‘I don’t think Amanda realises’ Cillian chuckled before running both of his hands over your legs.

‘Well, you can think about me later during your takes with Natasha’ you giggled as you ran your hand over his crotch and began unbuckling his belt as he positioned himself in between your legs.

‘What are you doing?’ Cillian asked as you finally reached the zipper of his suit pants. You wouldn’t admit it, but you liked it when he was dressed as Thomas Shelby, in the whole and entire outfit.

‘Claiming what is mine Mr Shelby’ you whispered with a slight giggle, causing Cillian to chuckle.

‘The crew is outside’ Cillian said, trying to push your hand away from his already erect cock.

‘Then we'll have to be quiet, won't we’ you responded before freeing his member slowly.

Cillian lost his composure at that point. As usual, when you showed Cillian your desire for him, he was completely under your control, ready to give you whatever you wanted.

He let out a deep sigh as you began stroking his cock for a moment before jumping down from the counter bench again and bending forward to take him in your mouth.

In response to your wet lips touching his hard cock, Cillian took in another sharp breath. It was hard for him to resist you, almost impossible.

You swirled your tongue over the top half of his hard member before taking him all in right against the back of your throat, testing your gag reflex each time.

‘Fuck’ Cillian moaned as he gave into the sensation and you began to bob your head up and down his long shaft.

You continued that for five minutes and by the you were gushing with wetness and couldn't wait any longer, you needed him inside you.

You broke away from his swollen cock and stood up before turning around leaning forward over the counter, facing the door of trailer.

Without words, Cillian positioned himself behind you and lifted up your skirt gently before pushing down your panties in a haste.

He couldn't stop you from getting what you wanted and he was certainly willing to give it to you now that he was all worked up.

Within seconds, he lined himself up with your wet entrance and pushed forward.

‘Mmm, god damn’ you whispered in blissful joy as he instantly hit your sweet spot. He always felt so good when he entered you, stretching and filling you the way he did.

‘Shhhhhh’ Cillian whispered as he began to move in and out of you slowly.

You adjusted yourself around Cillian’s cock and grounded into him, pushing back against him. You wanted him to take you hard, claim you. He grunted his approval as you started bouncing backwards and, as he pushed forwards with several heavy thrusts, you felt like he was hitting you in the throat with each thrust into your centre.

Cillian held your hips, urging you to bounce harder each time and you almost felt him pushing you into the counter with each thrust.

You knew this had to end quickly and, unlike other times where you would try and draw out your high for as long as possible, you let go as he slammed into you over and over again.

All hell broke loose in your body when Cillian reached between your legs to rub his fingers over your clit at the same time he thrusted into you. Stars shot through your vision and you thought you might pass out from the pleasure. You felt Cillian spasm inside you and a flood of his wet cum started leaking from your core.

Your orgasms washed over you in sync and so were you uncontrolled moans as, all of a sudden, the door to Cillian’s trailer opened.

‘Fuck’ Cillian shouted all of a sudden as he pulled out of you and quickly pulled up his pants.

Luckily, anything other than your upper bodies was covered by the counter front of the kitchenette. Nonetheless, it was obvious to anyone what you were doing as Cillian was leaning over you and his face rested on your neck before the door opened suddenly.

You wanted to sink to the ground with embarrassment right then and there as you saw Finn’s face, flushed and full of questions.

‘Amanda organised some sandwiches for you, saying you were busy rehearsing’ Finn said after he cleared his throat with a slight chuckle.

‘It’s not what it looks like’ you said with an equally flushed face.

‘Sure’ Finn said somewhat angrily as he placed the sandwiches onto the kitchen counter and walked out.

‘This…is bad’ Cillian said to you as Finn left and you nodded with agreement. You knew it was bad and unprofessional.

You pulled up your panties quickly and asked Cillian what he wanted to do now that Finn knew.

‘I will talk to him’ Cillian said just before he followed Finn, not knowing exactly what he would tell him just yet.

It took Cillian several minutes to catch up with Finn who, by that point, was furious about what he saw. Cillian knew that Finn was interested in you and Finn had asked Cillian for help several times, wanting to convince you to go on a date with him, to give him a chance.

‘Can we talk?’ Cillian asked as he finally found Finn down at the docks, preparing for his next scene.

‘So, you can find out who else I might be interested in and take your chances?’ Finn asked angrily as he put down his script.

‘Listen, I know it looks bad but I couldn’t tell anyone about it. I am sure you realise why’ Cillian said, causing Finn to nod.

‘Out of all women here you had to get involved with the one woman I am interested in’ Finn said, still annoyed about Cillian’s actions.

‘It was Y/N who pursued me and didn’t exactly plan for this to happen, falling for a woman half my age. It just happened’ Cillian said as he sat down next to Finn.

‘How long?’ Finn asked curiously.

‘Eight weeks. We’ve been keeping it quiet’ Cillian explained, causing Finn to nod.

‘Right. I feel like an idiot now’ Finn responded.

‘I think it should be me who feels like the idiot’ Cillian responded just as Anthony arrived, getting the area ready for the next scene.

‘Anything wrong?’ Anthony asked, causing Cillian to look at Finn with questions running through his mind.

Finn shook his head before telling Cillian politely that he needed to get ready for his next scene with Paul.

Cillian nodded and thanked Finn for his time before making his way back to you.

‘What did he say?’ you asked, desperately wanting to know where this would leave you and Cillian after the recent encounter.

‘Not much really, but I think we need to make our relationship public’ Cillian sighed.

‘Is he going to tell anyone?’ you asked worried.

‘That he caught us having sex in my trailer? Probably not’ Cillian laughed. ‘But, I think that we should still come clean’ Cillian suggested and you nodded in agreement and it was that same evening, over dinner, that you announced your relationship to the crew and the cast.

To your surprise, it wasn’t a surprise at all to some of your friends and cast members that you were a couple. In fact, Anthony had hatched a bet with one of the other crew members who didn’t believe the rumours.

He won $50 pounds and your best friend was glad to know that she would get the apartment you shared to herself for the next few months until filming wrapped up since, no doubt, you preferred spending your nights with Cillian from now on.

[haleigh-sloth]

So we know Hori said everyone kinda ends up in the same place so any predictions on how everyone will head to the big battlefield. Endeavor and Hawks follow AFO but what of Toga and Ochako. (Why do I feel like we won't see much of them, like it will be wrapped up in a flash back or something cause it's been sooooo long) and Dabi and Shoto. I don't see how this will end this year there's so much to cover still and several holidays. Have a beautiful day 😊🌻🌸

Hmmmm I have a lot of thoughts on how it could potentially go down

Well currently AFO is heading toward Shigaraki and I have no reason to think he won’t get there, so that’s putting him in the same area as Midoriya, Bakugo, and Aizawa.

Aizawa leads to Kurogiri. So assuming Spinner breaks him out (which I’m sure he will) I think Kurogiri will head to where Shigaraki is, which puts him and Aizawa together (yay). That could also bring Spinner to that area. Depending on how this fight with Shouji affects him (I mean it’s supposed to so), I assume Spin will show up wanting to try to help Shigaraki somehow and fight against the AFO current, Kurogiri thinking the same.

I don’t think Toga will be dealt with via flashback, at least I hope. I’m pretty confident in however Hori decides to handle it though. It’s one of the things that he said he’s itching to draw, a specific scene from it he’s excited for. Which means it’ll be good. The only option I can think of is one of the warp quirks. Probably Kurogiri due to the distance. So idk I guess that’s how Toga, Ochacko, Tsu, and Gang Orca make it back. It’s kinda the only way that makes sense, unless Gang Orca gives them a ride back to mainland by swimming and carrying them. And while that sounds crazy to say out loud—given recent developments I absolutely cannot write it off 😂😂🐋 (Gang Orca I can see wanting to help Toga, as crazy as that sounds—I have my reasons).

Touya and Shouto—I expect after their stuff with Endeavor is handled they will want to make it back to the shelter. Because at this point it’s a ticking time bomb waiting for those spies to start their chaos. And given the visual focus the Todorokis got immediately before the spies were shown in that last chapter—I’m convinced Touya, Shouto, and Endeavor will want to go there to save their family (along with everyone else’s who are there).

Going into more prediction without a specific reason for thinking this territory:

But I don’t see sky high UA lasting til the end. Idk how but I expect it to come down somehow, putting it close to the shelter so that everyone is in the same vicinity. I think it’s a safe assumption, but unlike the association between the Todorokis and the UA spies leading me to think Touya and company will go to the shelter—I don’t have anything specifically making me think Sky High UA will come down. I just have a feeling it will. Idk.

Breaking Kurogiri out of the hospital also means breaking Compress out (I think they’re in the same place??). Well, if not that way, we know Compress will be back so it doesn’t matter how. Lady N I’m pretty sure is in that hospital so that sets her free too (to help the heroes fight).

I feel like this is all really specific but tbh it’s just general ideas. I think everybody will end up in the same area at some point and I’m just rationalizing how it could happen I guess lol.

Have a good day too!!

[eowynn-bagels]

What I read in September

September was a crazy-ass month. Lizzy kicked the bucket, Don't Worry Darling crashed and burned, and most important, I read a ton of movies.

1. All The Light We Cannot See

All The Light We Cannot see might just be my book of the year. As I already talked about this in a previous post, I'll make this quick. All The Light We Cannot See has been described, and rightfully so, as a modern classic. Its unique presentation of its story and masterful management of story threads that sew together Werner and Marie-Laure through their childhood years and the present have cemented it into its position as one of the best books of the 2010s.

Final Verdict: 9.5/10 - Absolute perfection

2. Never Let Me Go

The second book I read in September was Never Let Me Go, by Kazuo Ishiguro. This is my third Ishiguro book, and I have to say - he is a brilliant author. The way he slowly draws you into the mystery of Hailsham, and how it's drip-fed to the reader what Hailsham's true purpose was for, despite the parallel storyline running in the modern day, it never gives away what they're doing, just that Kathy is a 'carer'.

I also went into the book blind, having no idea what it was about. I didn't read a synopsis, I didn't skim it, I just sat down and finished it in one sitting. Never Let Me Go is a masterclass in exposition and the flow of information to the audience. It treats the reader as if they too exist within the world of Never Let Me Go and it works incredibly well. The way it handles its themes, story and characters could not have come from anyone other than Kazuo Ishiguro.

Final Verdict: 8.5/10 - Read it blind!

3. Grand Hotel Europa

TW: Sexual assault

Then, I read Grand Hotel Europa, and it is a letdown. I bought it because it shares a similar title and seemed to share a similar story to one of my favorite Wes Anderson movies - The Grand Budapest Hotel. What I got instead was one pretty good metaphor about Europe, a useless, filler storyline that takes up 2/3rds of the book's material, and a really weird sex scene in which the author has with a 18 year old girl.

What you need to know about Grand Hotel Europa is that it is written as a true story, the author - Ilja Leonard Pfeijffer (one hell of a name) - presents the story as something that actually happened to him (down to the author's name and background). Sure, it's unique, but what makes it concerning is the aforementioned weird sex scene. The girl, Memphis, grew up in an abusive household where she was sexually assaulted. She was then adopted by rich parents and eventually ends up in the Grand Hotel Europa, the main setting and namesake of the book.

After they have sex, and Pfeijffer describes it in awkwardly high detail, she tells him to 'use her real name'. Even if this is fiction, it reads like some bizarre author self-insert fanfic, written as an excuse to jerk off, and somehow made it past rewriting, editing, publishing and translation. Outside of the Murakami-esque sex scenes, it isn't all that compelling. Like I said, the storyline about Clio and the lost Caravaggio painting is intensely boring. The only positive thing about this book is the book's namesake, the Grand Hotel Europa, which works pretty well as a metaphor for Europe in an ever-evolving world, and singlehandedly keeps this from being a 1/10.

Final Verdict: 4/10 - Murakami-esque, but without the good prose

4. Outline

Outline is the first novel in Rachel Cusk's Outline trilogy. I don't really have any strong feelings about it. Despite rave reviews, I don't feel like it says that much or wants to say that much, for that matter. Outline is an interesting, short-ish story about a woman who comes to Greece to teach a writing class, and in doing so meets several other people, who through conversation, are revealed. In the process, we also learn about the main character.

It is elegant and contains some great prose, but offers not much food for thought or discussion, not anything to write home about. Perhaps I need to read the next two books in the trilogy to understand it.

Final Verdict: 6.5/10 - Boring but not in the 'classical literature' way.

5. The Iliad

I also read The Iliad and it is a slog, but in an interesting way. The Iliad tells the story of the siege of Troy, one of the penultimate events during the Trojan War. It is also one of the oldest pieces of literature in the world that's still widely read, clocking in at around 2700 to 2800 years old. It moves like a giant, slow but immense in its proportions. Every chapter intensifies the stakes and every character is given their own motivations.

It's hard to talk about The Iliad without also talking about the censorship of Achilles and Patroclus' relationship. In my edition of the book, published in the 50s, they are referred to as 'companions', and to drive the point home, both take on trophy women. The translators are so insistent that both are straight that there are even addendums in parts where it's made explicitly clear that Achilles and Patroclus are fruity that say, in a nutshell: 'No homo, they're just the best of friends. Guy pals.' However, in modern depictions, most notably Madeline Miller's The Song of Achilles, where Achilles and Patroclus' relationship is the main focus of the book, the story works remarkably better. Achilles turning to rage and accepting his fate after Patroclus dies works so much better when you know that they loved each other. It becomes even more of a tragedy than it already is.

The Iliad is an epic that has come to define classical literature, and will continue to stand as the quintessential epic. With themes of fate, love, time and hubris, it stands as one of humanity's greatest achievements.

Final Verdict: 9/10 - Achilles and his ''''Friend''''

[disgruntledspacedad]

Aftershocks (2/5)

The Better Love Series 

pairing: Javier Peña x Fem!Reader (Ears). Part of the Better Love ‘verse. 

summary: That bomb fucked you up a little more than you thought. h/c, fluff.

words: 2.5k 

warnings: 18+ - canon typical violence, lots of medical stuff in this one.

a/n: unbeta’d. I had a surprise day off, so enjoy the second installment of Aftershocks much sooner than I had anticipated. More notes to follow!

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five 

MASTERLIST

You’re escorted beyond the heavy double doors of the emergency department in a hurry. It probably has a lot to do with Javi busting into the waiting area with you in his arms, flashing his DEA badge and barking out orders in irate Spanish. 

Honestly, you wish he wouldn’t make such a scene. Sitting still in the car had allowed you to catch your breath a little. You feel like shit, sure, but you’re pretty sure you aren’t actively dying.

Try telling him that, though.

The triage room is little more than a curtain masking a dimly lit corner. You’re answering what questions you can in halting Spanish, but Javi can see that you’re overwhelmed. 

“Ella habla ingles.” His tone earns him a dirty look, but the nurse nods, placing an oxygen probe on your finger and frowning up at the monitor. Both of you follow her gaze, noticing that the number reads 87. 

“The doctor will see you soon,” she says carefully. Her English is heavily accented, and suddenly, you’re grateful beyond words that you have Javi here to translate. “Here. You’ll wear this.” She winds the oxygen tubing beneath your chin and around your ears. The oxygen is dry, burning your nose and making your face twitch in annoyance, but you can’t deny that you feel better with it on.

The nurse leaves you then, pulling the curtain closed behind her. Javi continues to stare at the monitor with his arms folded across his chest as the number on the screen climbs to 89, then to 92, the soft tone of the blips rising in pitch with each subtle improvement.

He’s thinking again, you can tell. 

“Javi?” You reach for his hand, tugging at his fingers. Instinctively, you know that leaving him alone to stew right now cannot be a good thing.

He glances down at you, all dark, glittering eyes and terse expression, and worry clinches in your gut. “You okay?”

Javi snorts. “Really, Ears.” You can just see him fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “That’s a hell of a question, coming from you.”

You decide to shoot for levity. “I’m great, thanks for asking.”

That earns you a pathetic, lopsided lip twitch. You count it as a win anyway.

The doctor never shows. Javi grumbles and broods. A little while later, somebody comes with a wheelchair to whisk you away for an x-ray, and no matter how much blustering and badge-flashing and protesting he does, Javi is told firmly to stay put. 

He’s pacing agitatedly in the hallway when return. Apparently, it had felt like an eternity for him. 

In reality, you’d been gone less than twenty minutes.

It seems that your x-ray has earned you some attention, because things start happening a little faster now. People are in and out, one nurse bustling in to wordlessly draw an entire fistful of little color coded tubes of your blood, another working on IV access in your opposite arm. You take it all stoically, caught between watching in fascination as the nurse tapes the catheter in place with practiced efficiency and wondering why all of this can’t just happen in one stick. 

A little while later, the same nurse returns with a bag of fluid. “Seca,” she informs you as she stretches to hang it on the hook in the wall. 

“She says you’re dehydrated,” Javi translates. His face is a stone wall, the subtle clench of his jaw the only hint of the emotion that churns beneath. You can just imagine him kicking himself for not making you eat or drink. 

You bite back a shiver. The saline is cold in your arm.

They move you to a real room not long after that. It’s only marginally bigger than your corner in the emergency department, crammed with two rickey, uncomfortable beds separated by another dingy curtain. Thankfully, you don’t have a roommate for the moment.

You let Javi handle the paperwork as you change out of his sweats and into the itchy, open-backed gown that you’ve been provided with. Even with the oxygen, moving around still requires that you pause to catch your breath, and you’re grateful for the opportunity to sit when you’re done, even if the hospital bed you’re on is squeaky and uncomfortable.

Once the documents are signed and the nurses are gone, silence settles thickly between you. Javi is standing with his fingers fisted into his hips, glaring daggers at the clock on the wall. He hasn’t spoken in a long time.

Again, you feel that burning need to pull him out of his head. “Not really set up for visitors, is it?” you ask wryly. It’s a stupid, pointless thing to say, but you’re just trying to fill the void.

Javi glances around the room, raising his brows at what he observes. There’s no chair and no free space, nowhere for him to sit. Sighing deeply, he yanks back the curtain that divides the room and eases carefully onto the bed opposite of you, leaning forward with his arms folded on his knees.

You grit your teeth. Really, you wouldn’t have minded him settling down on your bed, but the more time you spend with Javi, the more you’re starting to realize that he withdraws when he’s feeling wrong-footed. As annoying as it is, the distance he’s putting between you is just par for the course, and it’s just not worth addressing right now.

“How are you feeling?” he asks softly, pinning you with a sharp, assessing stare.

“Better,” you answer automatically, forcing some cheerfulness into your tone. Honestly, you’re far more worried about him than you are about you. 

Javi raises a skeptical brow, clearly doubting you.

“No, really!” 

Your protest makes him shake his head in dark amusement. “What am I gonna do with you, Ears?” he wonders aloud.

You’re ready to supply several very detailed answers to that question, all of them interrupted as your doctor finally breezes into the room. 

“About fucking time,” Javi mutters under his breath as he rises to his feet.

“Hola, hola. I’m Dr. Perez.” Dr. Perez says, actually managing to sound a tiny bit apologetic. “Forgive the delay, por favor. I know it must seem that emergencies are the most non-emergent situation in the hospital, but, I promise you, we are working hard behind the scenes.”

 You decide immediately that you like Dr. Perez. He’s not a big man, compact and clean cut, with just the faintest dusting of silver at his temples and a warm, genuine smile. 

Javi must be thinking along similar lines, because he comes to stand just at the edge of your shoulder, looming dark and foreboding at your side as Dr. Perez approaches your bedside. 

Oh, now you’ll stick close, you think fondly, trying to find a little amusement in Javi’s behavior. Everything about this situation is entirely new, totally incongruous with the cool, suave Javier Peña that you thought you’d known, and a malicious, possessive part of your brain is just eating up the implications.

“I understand you were involved in the bombing in downtown Bogotá, correct?” Dr. Perez’s grip is firm and cool as he shakes your hand. 

“Yes, that’s correct.” You’re acutely aware of Javi standing stiffly beside you, watching your every move.

“Most unfortunate,” Perez shakes his head in a show of sympathy, and you manage to believe him. “And the breathing problems, they began later, no?”

“Yes,” you answer, surprised that he would guess with such accuracy. “I was okay afterward. Maybe a little bit sore. But not hurt.”

“Ella ha estado tosiendo sangre,” Javi interjects quickly. You’re not sure what he’s saying, but Dr. Perez’s eyes flicker in his direction, a swift, meaningful look passing between them. 

“Veo.” Dr. Perez says smoothly. He frowns down at you. “And how for were you from the blast zone?”

You think back, willing yourself to relive the memory of the morning in clinical detail. “I was crossing the street,” you say slowly.  “Headed home.” You do some quick mental math in your head, analyzing the width of Circular against the image of Emilio, waving. You’d been close enough to shout a greeting. “Forty feet. Maybe a little less.”

Beside you, Javi sucks in a sharp breath. 

Perez purses his lips. “Sí, eso lo haría.” He crosses the room, flicking a switch to illuminate a bright white panel built into the wall that you hadn’t noticed before. He shuffles through your chart, pulling out a dark film and pinning it to the light. 

It’s your chest x-ray. You can clearly see the curve of your ribs, stark white against the darker background of your lungs. In the middle of the film lies the dusky outline of what you assume is your heart. To the lower left, a patch of hazy, white blur mars the image. 

“This is the problem.” Perez points to the blur. “Pulmones magullados. Your lungs are bruised, see? This is common in blast zone survivors. The change in air pressure when the bomb ignites causes an injury to the lung tissue. You are bleeding just a little bit internally.”

You can damn near feel Javi gritting his teeth at that.

“But I felt fine,” you protest weakly, looking assentingly at the blob on the x-ray. It’s a pretty good size.

“Sí, you were fine.” Perez is nodding along with you, like he’d expected the argument. “That’s normal with this type of injury. You felt good immediately afterward because the bruise was new, the bleeding slight. But the bruise has gotten bigger, and you have gotten worse.” He indicates the oxygen that you are wearing with a grim nod. “You are a very lucky, mi amiga, to have walked away from that. Muy afortunada. Had you been closer…” Perez trails off, shaking his head somberly. “It does not bear thinking.”

He claps his hands, startling you away from the grisly images stirring in your mind. “There is good news, though!” Perez gestures toward the x-ray as a whole, circling over it with his index finger. “I see no rib fractures, nothing collapsed. Your breathing might get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. We will keep you under close watch until then.”

“Keep me?”

“Sí, you will be here.” Perez pins you with a no-nonsense stare, as if to curtail any protests before they come. “There’s another matter. You have a small concussion as well. To this area, here.” He taps the back of his own head with his hand. “From falling down, yes?”

You nod. The area he’s pointing to is right where your head hurts most, where you’d fallen backward after the blast. “Yes. It did knock me off my feet.” Apparently a with a little more force than you’d initially assumed.

Perez hums. “We will monitor that as well. You do not take blood thinners?”

“No, sir. No medications.”

“Bueno.” Dr. Perez seems genuinely pleased by this. “You’ve made my job very easy.” He gathers the film and shuffles it back into your chart, flopping it shut with a flourish. “Rest for you, Orejas. Time and sleep will do the best healing.”

“Orejas?” you can’t help but ask. It’s the name that Emilio had used for you, but you’re shocked that Perez knows it. 

Perez smiles. “I listen to my nurses. That is what they call you.”

“How much time?” Javi interrupts before you can respond. You’d nearly forgotten about him, as quiet as he’s been. 

Perez turns to address him for the first time. “It depends largely on her body. The concussion is small, and won’t require anything in the way of treatment. Her lungs, though…” Perez frowns down at the closed chart with a furrowed brow. “The contusion is still developing. A few days, a week, perhaps? I can say more tomorrow.” He turns back to you, sighing in sympathy. “I’m afraid you’re in for a stay, mi amiga.”

Well, fuck.

With that, Perez disappears just as quickly as he’d arrived, soft, quick footsteps echoing down the hallway, and silence falls once again over the room.

Javi doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. He’s standing very still, arms folded tightly across his chest with his thumbs digging into his armpits. The expression on his face is downright chilling. 

Your blood turns to ice.

“What the fuck, Ears?” he says very slowly, enunciating each syllable with deadly precision.

You glance up, suddenly hesitant to speak. The little movement must be enough to spur him on, though, because Javi fucking explodes. 

“Forty fucking feet!” he bites out, clawing angrily at his hair. He paces the tiny room, whirling as he runs out of space and pointing an accusing finger at you. “You told me you were across the street, Ears, not crossing it. There’s a big fucking difference.”

You blink at him, recalling the conversation you’d had in the embassy parking lot. 

Shit, he’s right.

“Why the hell did you lie to me?” There’s a subtle warble in his tone, a flicker of devastation in his eyes that’s quickly masked. 

Discomfort that has nothing to do with your injured lungs twinges in your chest. “I don’t know,” you answer miserably. You hadn’t thought of it as lying. At the time, you’d been overwhelmed by the situation and thoroughly confused by Javi’s erratic behavior, just desperate to get home and sleep off the worst morning of your life. “I didn’t want to upset you, I guess.” 

Javi laughs sarcastically. “Well, you’ve done a fucking fantastic job of that, haven’t you?” He throws his hands in the air, like he’s had it up to here with your shit. “Coughing up blood all over my kitchen floor. Christ, I should have known.”

Okay, now he’s being a little dramatic - the only blood you’d coughed up had been into your fingers, after all, but the protest is lost on you as you look him in the face. Javi’s eyes are deeply shadowed, his expression pained, his hair standing wildly from where he’s run his fingers through it. 

He looks thoroughly exhausted.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, dropping your gaze to the floor.

Javi huffs and looks away, clearly not ready to accept any apologies from you.

You don’t blame him. Throughout this entire screwed up relationship, you’ve done an absolutely piss poor job of putting yourself in Javi’s shoes, and it’s coming back to bite you in the ass.

You deserve his irritation, and more.

Javi’s pager beeps, the shrill sound of it slicing through the tension. He snatches it roughly off of his belt, frowning down at the display with squinted eyes.

You glance up at the clock on the wall. It’s pretty late, but given the day Javi’s had, it’s not outrageous to assume that somebody would need to be in touch with him at this hour.

 “I’ve got to take this,” Javi says tonelessly, hardly glancing up at you. If there’s any regret there, it’s buried very deeply. “I’ll see you later, Ears.”

He’s gone before you can get a word in edgewise.

♠

confessions/notes:

I speak one language poorly, and I’ve never extensively written a character who is not a primary English speaker (I’m not counting Javi here). Any critiques or corrections to my Spanish are very welcomed!

Up next: a look at things from Javi’s POV.

Spanish translations: 

She speaks English. 

Dry

She’s been coughing up blood.

I see. 

Yeah, that’ll do it.

ears

tags:@jedi-mando, @perropascal, @aerolanya, @pikemoreno, @bitchin-beskar, @mostly-megan, @huliabitch, @starsandmando, @starlight-starwrites​, @thirstworldproblemss, @knittingqueen13, @yespolkadotkitty​

Javier Peña tags: @magpie-to-the-morning, @tiffdawg, @danniburgh, @1800-fight-me​

To my taglist peeps, I’m sorry for tagging you guys three times in 24 hours. Again, chaotic jay cannot plan anything, like ever.