#i cannot get over this and i don't think i ever will

[anonymous-harpy]

I can n think of is the bisexual disaster that is Zeveran from Dragon age origins, My most precious broken husband Fenris from da2 and then my beloved Dorian from inquisition

No comment on Vailguard because I'm not paying what the fuck ever for "Squeaky clean nobody is a terrible person, the fucking lich is a joke after doing something HORRIBLE TO GET THERE that we also don't have any serious feelings about." Also please do watch a comparison to Dorain coming out vs the NB individual who's name I'm blanking because it was... Not the greatest (ESPECIALLY WITH THE LORE OF THE QUNARI CULTURE and no I cannot be bothered to look up if this Qunari character was deeply ingrained with the culture or not and if they were I strongly doubt on some visceral level that it would be a great deal. I legit didn't realize Kerm from Bull's Chargers was by all accounts trans because calling him a guy was natural, nobody said shit about it (to my knowledge I haven't gotten very far in Inquisition it's overwhelming) and there wasn't a need to point it out. He existed and while more supplementary to Bull's character I suppose, Kerm had a name and I think was Bull's second in command? I'm cool with that. I actually woulda loved to have Kerm in the party, I like his screen presence and was a bit disappointed that he couldn't join us.)

Why yes I did just ramble and rant about Dragon Age and complain about the latest game being to clean to be interesting... I would much rather deal with the Queer characters in the first two games in particular and also Inquisition over whatever tragedy is going on in Veilguard.

Because we’ve already made a poll where voters can choose if their Blorbos are canonically queer or if they’re queer in headcanons, this one only asks about canon events

This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds

[lemonmaid]

A snip i need to get out of my head before bed. (Warnings pregnant reader, not proofed read, I'm so fucking tired)

Poly 141 x pregnant reader.

When you told the boys that you were pregnant, many many emotions but not one was negative towards you.

Johnny was excited, immediately thinking of names and happy that they almost have enough people for a football team (john thinks rugby would be a better sport but who is asking).

Simon who is immediately nervous due to his own family issues, he knows therapy can help with this but he'll be damn if he is ever like his father.

Kyle who is immediately thinking why it is important to know who the father is, even if he isn't the bio dad he is still gonna buy the proper hair products just in case.

John who is already crying, he is a big papa bear now and he couldn't be more happy.

Over the course of your pregnancy, the boys are literally waiting hand and foot for you.

Simon refuses to let you do anything on your own. You want to help with the nursery? No sit down and rest. You need to bend down and grab something you dropped? Nah call him even if he is at work.

John is up your ass about you doing exercises and taking your prenatal vitamins. He wakes you up at eight in the morning to do a light work out for your core muscle then makes you wind down for bed by 9 pm.

Johnny is always ready to make a snack run, even if John is against it, hell he even got back up emergency snacks in the car. Even though you all share an Alaskan king bed, reach over and shove him awake so he can do a quick errand.

Kyle is always with you when you are shopping, 100% he will agree with you on any clothing for the baby, you want the cutest expensive baby towel that is good for eczema? No problem. You think we should do cloth diapers? You're absolutely right, save nature.

When you have to get a body pillow/pregnancy pillow to support your stomach the boys are upset that they can't cuddle you without the pillow being in the way (or the little shit kicks them and it hurts you).

The boys love, LOVE it when you wear tight shirts, I mean look at that adorable bump and Jesus christ your breast have gotten so big.

Speaking of breast, Johnny is always looking at you like a kicked dog when you don't let him "help" you pump.

Please tell them when something hurts. Because these boys take everything too serious. When you started having braksion hicks, they were so paranoid. It got to a point where when you were in labor you didn't tell them untill they were 5 minutes apart. Which freaked them out, rushing you to the hospital.

The boys are 100% supportive of your birth plan, they really are.

But as soon as the contractions hit and they see your pained expression, they are immediately second guessing.

John is bluntly telling you to take the epidural.

Simon is rubbing your back telling you that there is no reward for having a natural birth.

But, you progress, practicing your breathing exercises, you've been training for this moment. You decided to bounce and roll on the yoga ball that was offered in the room, it help with the pressure.

Johnny is the one who has been trying to sneak you food, happy wife (or partner) happy life. But Kyle is nagging him how you cannot have food when you are close to labor (you're only 2 cm and it's been four hours).

Simon is encouraging you to sleep and rest, when you obviously can't Johnny is helping you recheck the diaper bag for the tenth time that night.

Kyle who is walking with you up and down the hall, purposely walking down the hall with the window where you can see the other newborns.

John who is now having panic attack, 'oh god I'm going to be a father'.

When it's finally time to start pushing, one of the nurses tries pushing out the others, thinking that John is the father. It wasn't untill your midwife told them to leave them be and that they can stay.

Simon and John who are holding your hands as you pushed, Johnny is playing with your hair to help distract you from the pain and Kyle is wiping your forehead.

When everyone hears the sharp cry that echoes in the room, the gasp is heard, when the newborn is placed on your chest, they can't help but shed a tear.

Simon and Johnny are telling you that you did an amazing job. Kyle is kissing your head, comforting your cries, John is watching the nurses every move with the newborn.

They all couldn't be more happier.

[neverenoughmarauders]

Lily's meaningless sacrifice

One thing that irks me is when people suggest that in canon, Lily had any idea that Harry would survive (this is merely a canon post, nothing to do with fanfiction). It irks me, partly because it's just incorrect and that's the sort of person I am. More importantly, however, it irks me because Lily not stepping aside when she had nothing to gain from dying is fundamental to the story.

Let's start with JKR own words from an interview in 2005:

MA: Did she know anything about the possible effect of standing in front of Harry? JKR: No - because as I've tried to make clear in the series, it never happened before. No one ever survived before. And no one, therefore, knew that could happen.

Lily knew nothing about the possible effect of standing in front of Harry. Lily was faced with this choice:

Scenario 1: Steps aside, and Harry is killed.

Scenario 2: Be killed, and Harry is killed.

Scenario 1 is (on the surface) objectively better (unless you're a DE and thus want less muggle-borns around). To Voldemort, it's a simple choice: In both scenarios Harry will die, in one, Lily will survive. In fact, this is what makes a lot of people defend Severus' choice to only ask Voldemort to spare Lily. Severus could not save Harry (and apparently it's totally cool not trying to save others if they bullied you).

Lily could not save Harry.

Lily's choice, as far as she is aware, is not whether to save Harry or not, but whether to save herself. And yet, Lily cannot stand aside. As JKR points out earlier in the interview, what Lily did is not that surprising to us readers ("I don't think any mother would stand aside from their child"). Why? Love. Because, as Dumbledore reminds us on multiple occasions: there are worse things than death - most notably in DH:

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love."

Love, and life with and without love is an undercurrent in the story. Lily's sacrifice is meaningless when made, and yet it's the biggest and most understandable expression of love anyone can show someone else. Lily cannot, and does not want to, live in a world where she has witnessed her son being murdered - especially when her husband has been murdered too. A world without Harry and James is no world for Lily Potter.

It is also - bear with me - not that different from what it was like to be in the Order at that time:

[Y]ou weren’t in the Order then, you don’t understand, last time we were outnumbered twenty to one by the Death Eaters and they were picking us off one by one...

“He — he was taking over everywhere!” gasped Pettigrew. “Wh — what was there to be gained by refusing him?”

The Order operated against the odds and were being picked off one by one. As Peter asks - what was there to be gained by refusing him? What was there to be gained from standing (metaphorically or not) in front of Voldemort's victims? I've said this before and I'll say it again, Sirius' answer is powerful:

“What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?” said Black, with a terribly fury in his face. “Only innocent lives, Peter!” “You don’t understand!” whined Pettigrew. “He would have killed me, Sirius!” “THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!” roared Black.

Only innocent lives. They weren't fighting this war because they were winning. In fact they were very much losing. But they were fighting because it was right thing to do. Many Order members chose to die, rather than to step aside and let Voldemort take over. Only in their case it didn't make a difference - or at least, it didn't feel like it at the time. Members were murdered, and Voldemort was just getting stronger and stronger.

What was there to be gained by refusing Voldemort?

I firmly believe this is a theme that is repeated throughout the book: not just love and choice, but the obligation to choose what is right, no matter the odds (the irony that this was written by JKR will never be lost on me), and how love is a powerful motivator to do just that. Doing the right thing might seem hopeless in the moment - wasteful even - but that doesn't mean it's not worth doing, or that in the end, it won't add up.

Imagine what Harry felt like at the end of PS/SS when he risked his life to stop Voldemort, only to realise that Voldemort would keep trying to come back:

“Well, Voldemort’s going to try other ways of coming back, isn’t he? I mean, he hasn’t gone, has he?” “No, Harry, he has not. (...) Nevertheless, Harry, while you may only have delayed his return to power, it will merely take someone else who is prepared to fight what seems a losing battle next time — and if he is delayed again, and again, why, he may never return to power.”

Harry Potter isn't about doing the right thing because it will bring you rewards, but because it is the right thing.

“Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.”

This speech doesn't sit well with a few people because it sounds like you're asked to remember what happened to someone who did do the right thing (spoiler: he died). But that's not the point, of course. Cedric wasn't killed for doing the right thing or making a hard choice - Dumbledore asks the students to remember Cedric because the enemy is willing to kill innocent people indiscriminately. Standing aside will not be good enough against people like Voldemort. There is, as Dumbledore put it, a need to keep fighting what seems a losing battle. Why? Only innocent lives.

Both James and Lily die that evening because they are unwilling to let Voldemort near their innocent son as long as there is breath in their bodies. James had no choice (this irks me because he did, he could have run away - he could have not fought Voldemort in the Order to being with. They all had a choice, but not the point). Lily had a choice. And she chose, like many had before her, to fight what seemed like a losing battle. She died, not knowing that she had saved her son. Her sacrifice was meaningless - like so many before her - and yet her sacrifice changed the world.

In the end, by choosing to do what was right, she was granted the wish she most desired: Her son lived.

[jingerpi]

[do not use this as justification for sexist bigotry, this is a personal thought relating to the investigation of ideas and not a statement meant to be derisive towards feminist theories.]

disclaimer out of the way, I've been thinking about transmisogyny a lot lately and it's really interesting to consider the nuances of. I think a lot of the objections to transfeminist theory simply come from sexism, but there is one point of potential critique that I think warrants further inquiry. to get at this we have to first clarify something else though.

the distinction of tme/tma might sound like an issue to a lot of transmisogynists, but most of their objections die away as soon as you clarify it's not "never ever experiences transmisogyny" and is perhaps more accurately "trans misogyny exemptable" as this gets at the reality of trans women facing transmisogyny regardless of what we do, there is no way out, we are the intended targets. other people face transmisogyny as a sort of warning, a clarifying statement that "if you are transfeminine we will Other you" and they're able to exempt themselves from this in most situations by clarifying "I am not a trans woman" regardless of the particular form that takes.

not everyone is able to exempt themselves from all gender related bigotry though. you cannot, for example, make this distinction (of not being transfem) to escape intersexism, which is why many intersex repeatedly experience gender based oppression and cannot opt out of it. this is oppression is fundamentally not an result of transmisogyny, it is a result of intersexism.

with that clarification out of the way, I think there is an understandable critique regards the simplification that

"men have power over women" <- correct, easily verifiable, almost everybody agrees. "Black men have power of Black women" <- still correct and non controversial (at least in feminist spaces). then you go to "trans men have power over trans women" and everybody freaks out, yeah? like people start to object to this understanding suddenly, even though we've only changed 1 thing, which we've changed before and nobody found issue with it in those other areas. many of these objections come transmisogyny, but I don't think it actually tells the whole story to write all of this off as transmisogyny.

I think why we run into an issue with this understanding (again, critique, not refutation) is that trans people's gender is often, perhaps even usually in flux. the statement "men have power over women" is trivially true, and is a statement on gender and misogyny. this comparison can be brought to trans men and trans women, but it's not without nuance, as the most basic information we can get from this is applied to gender, something which is often actively shifting for trans people.

the reason is don't see this as some kind of disproof of transmisogyny or something should be clear though, for two reasons (aside from the obvious statement towards trends rather than specific instances)

1. transmisogyny is fundamentally not the same thing as misogyny at large, and

2. though trans-gender is often shifting, we can use the prior distinction of exemptable and intended targets to largely do away with this problem.

despite the framework of misogyny not applying 1-1 onto trans people (many who identify as trans men have 'correctly' experienced misogyny), we can still see how it is useful to look at the intersection of misogyny and transphobia. While yes, trans men often experience both of these things, it is often not simultaneously like it is for trans women. As trans women transition our closeness to womanhood tends to increase so as our experiences of transphobia increase, so too do our experiences of misogyny- where as the opposite goes for trans men. it's not that one can't be sexist and transphobic to a trans man, they're not transmisogyny exempt in some metaphysical sense, but rather that for trans women our transness and our womanhood have a positive correlation, our transness and our womanhood are inseparable, we cannot denounce one by leaning on the other.

on the contrary, while trans men will still face transphobia and sexism which denies the validity of their transness and treats them with misogyny, as they transition their relationship begins to more closely match that of men, because of course they are men, this leads to them being able to escape transmisogyny not by being part of some magically 100% transmisogyny excluded class, but because they have the ability to meaningfully denounce trans feminity, to put down womanhood and to become "one of the guys", it's conditional, yes, but often the conditions are not to "pass" in the traditional sense but rather to express views aligning with the patriarchy and derision of feminity, i.e, misogyny.

I think we can see this in the popular responses to tme/tma discourse within the trans community: many trans men correctly recognize what is happening and stand in solidarity, transmisogyny is a genuine problem and it makes sense to talk about the intersection between misogyny and transphobia, trans men even experience both at times, so it is a good idea to stand against. Then, some men begin to talk about their experiences with denial of who they are and the misogyny that can come with that. This too is rather sensible, though it doesn't somehow counteract or disprove transmisogyny generally, it can be studied and acknowledge much in the same way we understand cis men are tested with transmisogyny to enforce what others call "toxic masculinity", despite them not being transfeminine. Then we have a third and wildly popular group, who appropriate the struggles of the second group, where co-option occurs by men who buy into or express sexist ideas for the sake of more fully exempting themselves from transmisogyny. Along with this, instead of recognizing the basis for transmisogyny as intersecting gender based oppression, because doing so would show their fleeting relationship to it, they redefine it as being intersection of two metaphysical identities generally, and thus "transandrophobia" is born, posed as being on an equal to transmisogyny, after all, they're both born from intersecting identities are they not?

of course, we know Androphobia is not something which actually exists, nor is Misandry - these arent axis' of oppression, and they largely know this too, but their goal is to obfuscate the ways in which marginalized men still benefit from their manhood. it takes what I think can be a rather genuine expression that trans men experience both transphobia and misogyny, and instead of grappling with the ways they can societally put down others to gain exemption from transmisogyny, the way their relationship to it is transient, they instead cling to it and invent new terms or fall on old bigoted talking points to justify doing so. "transandrophobia" yes, but also "sex based oppression" and "male/female socialization" these terms and rhetoric are regularly used against transfeminists by these trans men who have exempted themselves from transmisogyny, who have sided with patriarchy over their trans sisters, instead allying with the general terf movement at large and often implicitly misgendering themselves in the process.

and just to be clear, not exempting yourself doesn't mean you will experience the brunt of transmisogyny or to the same degree trans women do - you may be called slurs by bigots, may be harassed in given instances, or sometimes worse, but the systemic forces of transmisogyny go far deeper than negative interactions with individuals, and these transmisogynistic forces are again, aimed specifically at trans women. While I want to recognize the ways in which transmisogyny permeates all of society, do not see this and mistake it for support for the idea that everyone experiences it equally and their relationship is only changed by putting down transfemininity, it is and always has been about targeting transfemininity, the reason I clarify exemptable is due to society's constant enforcing of transmisogynistic ideas on everyone, even if the worst persecution is specifically and intentionally reserved for trans women

Lastly I want to say that these ideas are still developing and my understanding of them will likely change with time and discussion. I dont think these ideas are particularly new, they seem to underpin a lot of discussion on these topics, but this is my attempt to bring them from an implicit unspoken agreement into a more firmly expressed position. Doing so is necessarily going to expose flaws and I see that as a good thing, as doing so is required to elevate understanding of these theories to a higher level. Some of these flaws will be with my expression and understanding, and I will work to correct those, but some will likely be with the ideass themselves and it will take time for them to develop. Please read in good faith, thank you.

[freetheshit-outofyou]

This won't be a popular opinion, but it will be a truthful one from 3 generations of ranchers and farmers: We, the United States Farmers and Ranchers, could not sustain the type of crop and cattle yield to feed 340 Americans. Would could not feed the estimated extra 46.2 million people that are here on vacation, here illegally, here as students and or part of the work force. The United States could not sustain itself in perfect times, it would be disastrous if there were crop failures, livestock failures, uncooperative weather patterns, fuel shortages, worker shortages, strikes, any number of events that would stop things going from the ranches and farms to your table. I want you to think about that. If the Unites States only relied on itself for just food and one part of that system stops it would cause famine like we have not seen since the 1930's. At that point every Rancher and Farmer would be taking care of their own, eating the livestock and crops they grew, not you. Furthermore, Even if the United States could somehow convert all land not currently used into lands for crops and livestock, where does the water come from? Where is that infrastructure to get large amounts of water into the central deserts of Nevada or turning the Alkali rich soils on Utah and Arizona into fertile crop lands? Are we clear cutting the forests of Washington, Oregon and California to make new farm lands? This is not realistic by any stretch of the imagination. I wish it were but we are just to many mouths and not enough ways to feed them domestically. We are not the only Nation with this issue. I have been all over the world and as much as we all hate to admit it we all rely on the world to feed each other. Below are some images and sources to help solidify why this is almost an impossibility. I am more isolationist than most, and I can see this can't work.

Source

Source

I have not even added crop and livestock rotation on lands to allow them to recover. Or the fact that some crops and livestock CANNOT just grow or live where ever we would like them too. The only way I could ever see this as a real possibility was if we went into a "Wartime" mode where all recourses were poured into this effort. Even then, as I already said, one snag in the process and it all falls apart. I don't care if it's low livestock birthrates one season, lowered than expected crop yields for consumption AND for seed for the following season. Not enough rain, Winters to long, Fall comes to early, blights, bugs, a million variables. Let's not forget that when the entire Nations is dependent on the Mom and Pop farmers and ranchers to live, mom and pop become slaves to the system so the Eloi can eat.

[altraviolet]

Oh! I just remembered something about your story I’ve been meaning to ask. I noticed maybe.. 3 times that some bots beginning to explain something to soundwave, and then instead say something like “Ah, you don’t care anyways.” Soundwave always responds in his mind “You don’t know how I feel.” I could be wrong but I don’t think that was ever fully addressed in your story. Like, soundwave just lets it slide. Why exactly? Also even after some people get to know him somewhat they still assume that?

ahhh the "you don't know what i care about" line. one of my favorite recurring threads throughout the fic :D

it's not so much "soundwave just lets it slide," it's that Soundwave Cares About Rodimus, and the three times that line is used, he cannot/will not expose this secret of his to the person he's talking to.

First time:

[Rodimus] “Can I come in?” Soundwave stepped aside. Rodimus slouched on his bed. He looked up at Soundwave. He glanced at the poster of them on Enceladia. His spoiler went down. “You don't care about anything, right?” ?? you don't know what i care about “Well?” “Incorrect. Several... things are important to me.”

Here Soundwave is talking with Rodimus, so he's obviously not going to say anything. It's far too early in the fic for that. The phrase combined with "several things are important to me" is a signal to the reader that Soundwave cares about Rodimus.

Second time:

“That's what I felt during the gray years,” said Drift. He reset his vocalizer. “That's why Rodimus couldn't fix it. He tried so hard to make me happy again. He was so happy when we- I mean, he and I-” Drift's eyes flashed. “Never mind. You wouldn't care.” you don't know what i care about, thought Soundwave as Drift hurried away. His processor chewed on Drift's words, repeating them over and over. “That's why Rodimus couldn't fix it. That's why Rodimus couldn't fix it.”

Here Soundwave is talking to Drift, and he's extremely not going to tell Drift what he cares about.

Side note: these paragraphs tie up the gray years from Soundwave's point of view. The reason Rodimus couldn't fix Drift's hurt is because Drift didn't love him the way he loved Ratchet. The only thing that would've made Drift feel better is Ratchet.

Third time:

Swerve held up the data pad and whistled. “Wow, there's a lot of really specific requests on here. Things I haven't served since...” His gaze moved to a model replica of the Lost Light behind the bar, surrounded by a few dusty, empty bottles. “Since... never mind. You won't care.” you don't know what i care about

Here Soundwave is talking to 0001 Swerve back in the 0001 dimension. He wouldn't waste his time correcting Swerve's assertion. Swerve assumes Soundwave wouldn't care about the Lost Light. He does, but he can't say why without having to answer a ton of questions. Also, shortly after he spots 0001 Rodimus. There's no reason to engage in conversation with this Swerve, whom he will never see again.

Another side note: Soundwave stating openly to himself that he cares about something, in defiance of assured statements by other characters, shows how he's changed since the very beginning.

So this isn't an unaddressed, loose thread. It's a deliberate demonstration of Soundwave's character change and a realistic portrayal of how he would react in those situations: he often defaults to silence.

[letmerideitchris]

𐬺𝐕𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐𐬺

summary: Chris matt and nick get a new videographer, she is funny, smart and pretty, basically everything Chris could ever want in a girl. Chris finds it impossible to not fall for her…

Warnings: angst, yelling, cursing, mentions of killing (in a joking way)

Wc: 1009

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

“Chris would you like to tell us what the fuck we just walked in on?” matt says sternly

Y/n had previously left the house out of embarrassment to what nick and matt had walked into.

“does anyone know where some bleach is? My eyes need some” nick says looking around

“guys you're being dramatic, I'm sorry i couldn’t resist, she’s everything i have ever wanted” chris says as he looks down at the floor

“that is the least of our problems right now, shes meant to be coming over tomorrow to film a vlog for us, that is going to be so awkward thanks to you dick face” nick says hitting chris’ shoulder

“yeah chris, you need to sort it out and apologize because you are runing it for us”

“but I'm not sorry and i am quite looking forward to seeing her tomorrow even though it will be awkward…” Chris says slightly smiling at the thought of her

“im not sure if shes looking forward to seeing you, she just ran away” matt says looking at the open front door y/n previously left through.

“chris you make me want to kill you, is it hard being this dumb?”

“guys can you show some sort of sympathy? Like imagine the girl of your dreams is actually interested in you and then your brothers walk in on you fucking and she runs out of embarrassment?” chris says

“No i actually cannot imagine that i am gay if you forgot dumb shit” nick says in a duh tone

“you guys are ridiculous” chris mumbles annoyed as he makes his way downstairs to his bedroom.

The next morning chris is laying in bed half asleep, wishing she was beside him. But hes quickly taken out of his trance when he hears the doorbell, the sound he was dreading yesterday but wishing upon now.

“i’ll get it!” matt yells from upstairs

But when he turns to the door chris is already unlocking it

Nick is sitting on the couch with an unamused face, when matt looks over at him “look at this desperate dickhead”

“hes never gonna learn, fuck sake” nick eyerolls

When chris opens the door, y/n is taken aback by his face. y/n looks down at the floor and says quietly “oh… hi chris”

chris’ smile quickly fades as he hears her tone and realizes his excitement isn't mutual.

“hi y/n, come upstairs, can I get you a water or?-”

“uh no i should be good..thanks..”

Chris takes a seat on the couch wondering why y/n is acting so weird towards him. What did he do wrong? Did he say something bad?

The boys all give y/n a hug greeting her, besides chris.

“matt would you mind getting me some water? I’m really thirsty?” y/n says looking at matt

Chris looks over at her with a confused look across his face

“yeah of course, nick can you come with me, i think these two need to talk it out..” matt lowers his tone at the end so only nick can hear his last comment

Chris and y/n are both sitting on opposite sides of the couch looking at each other waiting for one to speak up.

“y/n, whats wrong?” chris speaks up

“have a think chris, have a think.”

Chris is using all of his brain and is trying to peice together what could be wrong. And then something clicks in his mind and realizes what has happened. He looks up with a concerned look on his face

“is this about yesterday, y/n? If it is im really sor-”

y/n cuts him off “chris do you not realize what we did and how this will affect our relationship and my job”

Chris is shocked by what she said “wait so your saying you regret what we did? I-I really thought we had something, something that would last, something you would care about” he says as he raises his voice and stands up angrily from the couch.

“no i don't regret it, that's not what I'm saying. I just think we should've been more careful or waited a bit longer” y/n says avoiding eye contact

“so you do regret it huh?” he starts to walk off then she grabs him by the arm

“no, chris just calm down i am not done-”

“well i sure am, get out of my house please”

y/n opens her purse quxckly, chris is standing there waiting for something that could save this relationship but instead it is something that will change their lives forever.

y/n slides a positive pregnancy test along the coffee table.

“as i was saying, we should've been more careful, should've waited longer, not saying i regret it.” she says shaking with tears forming on her waterline

She closes her purse, gets up, looks into the kitchen to see matt and nick both staring in such a state of shock. Tears start rolling down her face as she looks back at chris’ guilty and worried face. She wipes her tears and continues to leave.

The door slams

“i could choke you to death right now chris, not much is stopping me” nick says furiously as he follows y/n out of the house

Chris is still standing there in disbelief staring at that positive test.

“chris, ill get you some water, all you can do right now is sit down and try and relax yourself. Don't text anyone and don't listen to what nick is saying even though he is right, i know you would be really stressed right now and nothing he has to say will help.” matt says patting chris on the back gently

chris sits down on the couch shaking with tears falling down his face onto his pants, he can't seem to look away from the test. Regret and guilt clouds his mind and all he is thinking about is y/n.

“m-matt” chris stutters, matt turns back around to face chris, you can tell even matt is stressed out

“i, i am going to be a d - dad”

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @riggysworld @chrissturnsss @sophand4n4

@chrispycremedonut

[lemotmo]

please break this down for me who has autism and cannot for the life of me read nuanced facial expressions because I don't get the excitement? Nothing significant happened? Why is everyone taking this as literal confirmation? I hate my brain sometimes because I don't get it 😞

I'll try my best Nonny.

The entire Buddie scene was gold. The way Buck just walked in as if he is used to doing this, even though this isn't his own home? The way Eddie obviously doesn't seem to mind that Buck does this?

All of this is a big tell that these two are closer than close. That this is something that regularly occurs. Even Maddie didn't just walk into her brother's loft last week when she brought Jee over.

The kitchen scene was also amazing. Eddie complimenting Buck on his baking, Buck giving him that little pleased smile, while rummaging through Eddie's cupboards as if it's his own home. And again, Eddie lets him. He doesn't seem to care. Every single frame of this scene shows us just how comfortable Buck is in the Diaz house. He belongs there. And Eddie loves it.

Then Buck sees Eddie turn over the tablet. He's immediately curious why Eddie does this. Instead of letting it go, he actually picks up the tablet and looks, while Eddie doesn't even protest.

This is something I would never ever think of doing when I'm around my friends. When my friend's tablet or phone is lying around, I won't just take it to see what they were doing on it earlier. That's just so impolite and a breach of trust. The only person I would allow to do something like this or the only person I wouldn't feel uncomfortable doing this to would be my significant other.

So again, this is a very telling scene.

Buck's face falls when Eddie reveals he's looking at houses in El Paso to be closer to Chris. But he quickly recovers and tells Eddie he's helping him out. Once again, Buck is stepping right into Eddie's mess to help him.

As he sits down, Eddie looks at him fondly, obviously appreciating Buck wanting to help out like that. Then we focus on Buck's face and he goes through an entire face journey:

First he is still smiling a little, but as soon as Eddie turns around, his smile drops away. You can clearly see him process the news that Eddie is leaving. You can see on his face that it's hitting him that he'll lose Eddie (and Chris) forever if he goes back to El Paso. He is blinking quickly which is a sign of distress. He then looks down at the tablet that's still on the website with the houses and for a brief second you can see the despair on his face. He is going through all the stages of 'OH FUCK NO! I DON'T WANT HIM TO LEAVE ME!'.

Now, I don't think he quite understands why he is feeling so strongly about this, but as 8b will progress, he'll most definitely do some more introspection and it will hit him like an anvil then, that he is in love with Eddie.

Hope this helped Nonny. ❤️

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Watching the episode again and I just cannot get over how well done it all is! One of the things I focused on this time was the way they managed to show us the state of TK and Carlos' relationship. We haven't really checked in with them one on one since episode 5, and I think there's so much here that can give us insight into what has been going on since then:

We see that the box is still in use! Since we're told in this episode that Gabriel died a year and a half ago, that means that about 6 months have passed and Carlos is still using the box! This shows clearly that he's been making serious efforts to be more present. I noticed some people hypothesizing that the fact that his phone was outside of the box was meant to show he was struggling to be fully present, and that's definitely a valid interpretation and maybe it is what they were going for...but to me, it seemed like the phone was outside of the box just because it was being charged. Carlos still left the phone next to the box when he went to bed and I think that indicates some major effort!

However, the presence of the box a whole 6 months later also indicates to me that they ARE still struggling. Things aren't 100% fixed. If they were, I don't think the box would really be necessary anymore.

Carlos wakes up on his day off and the first thing he does is reach for his husband. When he realizes TK isn't there, Carlos goes to find him, expresses his desire to spend the morning of their shared day off sleeping in together, and then kisses his cheek and sits on the couch next to him. TK is not remotely surprised by these behaviors. To me, this shows that there is not constant tension between them. They are loving and affectionate with each other. They look forward to spending time together and make efforts to do so.

When Carlos announces that he wanted them to sleep in on their shared day off, he makes it seem like such a thing is a rarity. Add to that the fact that he worked so late the night before that TK wasn't sure when he got home, and it's clear that they aren't getting to spend nearly as much time together as they'd like. While it doesn't seem like this is some dire situation, it certainly may be contributing to remaining issues that they are having.

The way Carlos talks about their counseling makes it sound like they are still going, which I think is a really good thing because it again shows major effort being made in their relationship!

All these things perfectly set the scene for the conflict in this episode, showing clearly that these two love each other, they're putting real work into their relationship, but they're still struggling. Under those circumstances, when you add in a major crisis and upheaval like the Jonah situation, it's inevitable that things aren't going to go smoothly. However, their love and soulmatism is still shining through, and we know they're going to make it and come out the other side stronger than ever!

[faiell]

yapping about fics and commenting

sorry to yap but work is boring today and tumblr isn't blocked on my work computer LOL

ok it's abt that post where the writer friend stopped writing because they weren't getting the comments/kudos they wanted.

i'm like. an overeager fandom person. like i cannot get into a fandom without wanting to meet new people and make friends. i love yapping about whatever silly gay idiots i'm hyperfixating over. i'm all about community, and sharing the joy of fandom, and all that fun positive stuff.

i don't post my art for stats but like. that means nothing coming from me tbh. i get stats. i can't accurately predict what would happen if i stopped getting notes on my art, but i would probably keep drawing and keep posting, just maybe less confidently, and less often. i recognize that stats make it much easier and while it’s not my primary motivation, it definitely motivates me to keep posting.

and yet. for years, i never commented on fic. i think i left kudos? and i saw posts like this all the time about how writers were so sad they didn't get comments. and i would feel super guilty about it all the time. but i still wouldn't do it! it sounds stupid, but i would feel pressured. if i liked a fic a lot, it felt even more difficult to comment, because i thought i would have to somehow give back to the author everything that fic gave to me. i wanted to craft the perfect comment that could perfectly encapsulate everything a fic made me feel. and that was way too much pressure so i would just not say anything.

when i got into drarry, i started reading a shit ton of fic. and i still wouldn't comment. i left maybe... 2 or 3 comments, maybe, i think. i can't remember. but i had a lot to say and i WANTED the writers to hear that i had read it and liked it. i just... didn't comment! u know what i did instead? i just fucking straight up DM'd writers on discord and started gushing to them that i liked their fic. somehow i was confident enough to do that, but writing a comment still felt like too much pressure. ?? i don't understand it either, but in my head it felt like a writing assignment, but when I was in DMs it felt more like a conversation and so there wasn't any pressure to make it "good"? idk!! it's very weird.

then i wrote and posted my first complete fic. just a oneshot, nothing special, and i was like. UNREASONABLY nervous about posting it. like. i am a confident person, okay? i was going to make a burner AO3 account and post it under a different name so nobody would know it was me, and then never mention it to anyone except MAYBE super close friends. i got talked out of doing that (thanks i feel a bit silly about considering that now). and then i received my first comment on it, which was basically a two-liner where someone said they liked it and thanked me for writing it.

and i was like. ??...?????? ???????? ...??!!! because i felt like... uncontainable glee? i was freakishly happy. the amount of serotonin those two sentences gave me was definitely unnatural.

is that healthy? idk. will it continue? idk. LOL. i hope so? but idk, some people said it wears off if you write/post for a while. but whatever, the fact that one little comment like that could make my entire day blew my mind. tbh i thought writers were just exaggerating when they said stuff like that.

ever since then i started leaving comments! that shit's easy! like what was i overthinking for? i'm such a fucking tryhard! all i gotta say is that i liked it, and even the bare minimum can bring lots of joy to someone.

so basically what im trying to say is that negative reinforcement doesn't do shit!! it just makes people feel bad about themselves. that post is nasty for guilt-tripping readers like that, and i bet you it's going to have the opposite effect (or no effect tbh).

YAPPING FINISHED. for now.

[clowningaroundmars]

i still just... *clenches fist* CANNOT GET OVER how good of friends mike and chuck are like it makes me weep sometimes just remembering it you guys 😭

they're always there to support each other, and always have each other's backs... but most importantly-- they got each other even when they're slipping

chuck was the 1st character ever to question mike's leadership and battle plans in the very 2nd ep. wellll unless you don't count dutch's disapproval of mike's plan in ep 1, but that was more pushback than an actual fullblown argument

mike was acting rashly, not thinking out his plan to use the core's power to defeat kane's hounds, and chuck rightfully bickered with him abt it for like 2 precious minutes while their base was being surrounded

and he succeeded! mike did take the power core, but he didn't end up detonating it in the end even tho he wanted to! bc chuck's words affected him, saving motorcity-- and possibly the entirety of michigan as well

and on the flip side, chuck's insecurities get the best of him most times. this was especially devastating to mike in "fearless", and it all culminated in this big final fight they had where chuck almost killed mike

but they ended up reconciling, bc mike KNEW what was eating away at chuck and confronted him abt it. his words to chuck were "being brave isn't abt not being scared, it's abt waking up everyday and doing what you do anyways despite it"

which is very true! chuck was sick and tired of being the butt of the jokes, the scaredy-cat, the coward. but mike cut thru all that bullshit and in one fell swoop, chuck was removing his booster and he was comfortable facing the kane grunts to deactivate the KMG before it killed all of the cablers.

mike recognized chuck's insecurity and got thru to him with the cold hard truth-- chuck was already brave, even if he was screaming thru the majority of their missions lol

one day i hope to be in a friendship like chuck and mike's, but until then i'm just sitting here admiring them like a goober :')

[tinybeetiny]

Bought by Ateez

Please understand this is satire and a joke. Please don't take this seriously, and don't come in my messages telling me how cringey this is BECAUSE I KNOW…. I was feeling sentimental and was reminiscing about my 2012-2015 years…. If you think this is cringey… that’s the whole point. I literally cringed the entire time writing this, but that’s the fun of it. Anyway!!

Cw: CRINGE, HUMAN TRAFFICKING BECAUSE THATS EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS AND WHY DID WE ROMANTICIZE IT AS 13 YEAR OLDS… I cannot lie though…. I was so obsessed with those kidnapped by one direction fics on Wattpad… maybe that’s why I’m so into yandere…

Taglist (I'm so sorry): @e3ellie @yoonshiiu If you would like to be a part of the taglist please fill out this form

Masterlist | Ateez Masterlist

(Y/n) woke up to the sound her alarm going off. She sat up in her very small twin bed that was in her shoe closet sized room. She stretches her tiny arms as she yawns. “(Y/N) GET DOWN HERE NOW YOU USELESS EXCUSE OF A DAUGHER” she heard mother call for her. She hopped out of bed to throw her long brown hair into a perfect messy bun, threw on the only pair of pants she had which were her light wash ripped skinny jeans and pulled her cream colored sweater on. When she got down the stairs she saw eight men she’s never seen before. Each man stared at her taken aback by her beauty. ‘How could a mother want to sell a daughter so beautiful?’ They all collectively thought “(y/n) you poor excuse for a child. I’m selling you to Ateez because I need more money for drugs.” Her mother spits as she grabs the poor girls arm and throws her to the gentlemen in front of them “B-but why?” The girl felt tears in her eyes “I just told you. I want more money for drugs and I never wanted you anyways. I was just waiting for the day I could get rid of you” The men felt their blood boiling at the words of her mother was spewing out. “Okay that’s enough. We gave you the money already. We’ll be going now” the shortest the eight says sternly to her mother before grabbing her hand gently “Why don’t we go pack your clothes and stuff” he says more gently “I uh I don’t have anything else” she says looking down ashamed. The men sigh feeling bad for what she’s had to go through “OH! Let’s go shopping!” “Oh! Wooyoung had a good idea for once” “Jongho be nice” she watches the grown men bicker amongst themselves. The one holding her hand speaks up “Let’s go and get you some new clothes jagi” she can’t help blush at the nickname.

(Y/n) didn’t know how to feel. A big part of her was very happy she didn’t have to live with that vile woman anymore but now she’ll have to live with eight strange men each one looking like they just stepped out of a GQ magazine. She noticed the glares she got as she walked around the mall with them and she couldn’t help but feel insecure “Are you okay?” She looked over to see the kindest eyes she’d ever seen “Um this just all feels so w-weird” she stutters out “I totally understand! But things can only get from here, right? I’m Seonghwa but you can call me Hwa” "OH MY GOSH GUYS! We never introduced ourselves. I'm Wooyoung, the sexy one" He says sending her a wink "I'm Mingi" "Jongho" "Yunho" "I'm San" "Hi I'm Yeosang" "And I'm Hongjoong" The short one says with a smile. She looked around already forgetting who was who, except Hongjoong "There's so many of you" "It's okay sweetheart, you'll learn very quickly" The group continued to walk through the mall and (y/n) thought that maybe this won't be so bad

[skill7spark04]

To preface, I'm not trying to change your opinion or anything, but really this seems like an interesting potential for discussion on my take of how TLQ is represented:

I don't like the idea of TLQ realizing anything about gender norms, really. they are an existential god being, and I'm pretty sure that puts them above gender and physical sex in nature, placing them at a nonbinary standpoint. the choice to depict them as male is merely because TLQ sees it's other half as a princess, I believe, and for the sake of the story, that's what they become.

when they deny their godhood, they give up that rejection of the material to choose a path that neither thought possible. leaving together, as them. not as the gods they were, but the people they became.

arbitrarily saying "TLQ realising they are female" while an interesting story, undermines the premise that you, as TLQ, are not a self perceptive person. TLQ cannot see himself, in the game. ever. always shrouded in darkness, and the mirror of that self reflection illudes them.

it also undermines the point of the Narrator. in that they tell you what is and what isn't. whether you choose to listen or not is out of the question; you can only respond to what the narrator says. the point Is that they set the scene.

it also misses the parallel where the lines between hero and monster are blurred, in that TLQ is something similar to a Kenku of some kind, and clearly not human. you can be considered a monster. but you're told you're the hero. that you'll save the world. but the act you must commit is the common act of a monster in fiction. murder. of a helpless princess, no less. you are put into a literal grey area, and you define that grey area by shaping the shades with your choices. or to paint it over with the only color you'll see in game... blood. (monochromes can be argued as colors, but for the sake of impact...)

TLQ as a god: a they, because they go beyond such concepts. (this even may be stretching it, but TLQ originated as a concept, not a being, so I can say for certain that concepts are not bound by sex or gender.)

The Shifting Mound: a they, because they are many. (despite being clearly feminine, a group of people is referred to by They/Them to address.)

TLQ as a person: a Man, to fulfill their self perception of the story, one that the narrator states he has no control over, and is in fact, just reading out what happens so that TLQ can see and interact. the Narrator merely acts as eyes to the internal window of TLQ. TLQ sees himself as a hero, which is why that particular voice is ALWAYS present from the beginning. because the voices come about based on how TLQ perceives himself, actively or passively. this is why you get voice of the cold when you hesitate but still go through with slaying the princess. the cold would not hesitate, but in self reflection your actions as TLQ are percieve as cold.

to summarize as best as I can:

TLQ has no reason to question who they are. they were once a sexless genderless (maidenless) concept. when given form, the world they chose to make put them in the shoes of the hero. the Narrator puts you in the shoes of a monster framed as a hero. your beloved is a princess to you, signifying her importance in your existence, and also her helplessness by having her be chained in a basement.

to say they perceive themselves as male is perhaps something derived exclusively from the fact that their lover is a princess, and in the stereotypical "hero saves princess" stories, as TLQ perceives their world, obviously, have male knights saving princesses, plus the male voices.

I would like to think, just by the Voice of the Hero being a default, you are cleared as Male.

and as a god, you are nothing but a genderless concept.

but overall, it's a creative idea, especially if you think about it from the lens of having Multi-sex voices in their head, both male and female, due to their previous status as a concept.

I do not want to piss in your cheerios, as I find the concept you presented amusing. but I felt the absolutely nerdly-geeky desire to start a philosophical debate on sex and gods.

not just does the game not have to be about romantic love in particular, TLQ also doesn't have to be a man. Let me explain.

When you first start the game, you are greeted first with the voice of the Narrator, who is a man. Then afterwards we meet the hero, who is voiced by the same VA / has the same voice /gender presentation as the Narrator. Then you meet the princess, who is your only other external being in the story until the end.

Given that this is TLQ waking up, they probably conceptualise "voices" as men and "external beings" as women, simply due to the fact that the Narrator presents masculine and he sets that standard just by being the first character TLQ meets.

I wish there was a story about TLQ realising she and the voices have a different genders. Maybe TLQ thinking of herself as fem only to realise her body is male later down the line. Or maybe a funny bit about the voices all having their own masculine bodies they are comfortable in and TLQ, who is obviously a woman, being all like "Why are you acting like this I'm totally the same as you guys" with the others just slowly shaking their heads going "Idk pal..."

Non binary interpretations are also really cool! I love them, though I do have to say transfem headcanons (or just fem protags in general) are my favourites.

[obiwan-kenobabe]

I'm home from Metallica and I am SOBBING my eyes out. Dream concert, a show I waited my whole life to see... Wowza

[corpsentry]

pick your battles

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am