#i cannot even express how i feel

[unriding]

me n moze say good morning to the world !!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

art by @rabbbitseason of course <3

[mortysmith]

while we're on the subject of "morty-prime teamup" what if there was another two crows situation

[instantpansies]

STRANGE NOISES FROM THE HOLE IN THE WALL HEADCANONS/INTERPRETATIONS UHHH OBVIOUS SPOILERS. CLARISSA CENTRIC CAUSE. HOLY SHIT

clarissa is to locomotion as clara is to the nutcracker. she's the kid who dreamed him into existence hundreds of years ago. i know he says he's older than the devil - i think that's still plausible, he's existed since thought but wasn't attached to the Silver Line or brought into physical existence until clarissa, lonely or in danger or just bored, imagined a world where she could escape from her everyday life and live as a grown-up(? maybe? since benjamin/timothy/billy seemed to age up as soon as he went through the portal?), with freedom and whimsy and eventually a relationship with the friendly driver.

why do i say this? because otherwise im really fucking confused lmao, that first scene where clarissa and loco are introduced is strange in the context of the end of the play. they seem to have known each other for a good while before they get on the train. they act like a young couple who's stumbled upon the silver line as an escape from danger and now they're excited for their new life in a new, safe world. except that loco also says he's been driving the train for years.

(looking back, that very much feels like a scenario from a child's imagination - or perhaps a dream - where of course he's been doing this for years, that's his job, but of course they're glad they've found the train together, this is a new experience for her so it's just an extension of her perspective)

but clara is, she says, a child when she gets on the train. idk how old "little girl" is, but if we run with this headcanon and also assume that the timeline is both linear and literal, she's imagining herself in some form of a sexual relationship with loco at a pretty young age.

i posit that this can be reconciled in several ways (some more disturbing or inappropriate than others), but one thing that could be considered is that the first scene where loco and clarissa are introduced is symbolic of their relationship over the course of the train's history. depending on how old clarissa was when she first dreamt the world into existence, she might not have even been very aware of loco, and spent her time just enjoying the escapism or whatever. after a few years or however long, she starts to get older and decides to learn how she's actually done this, maybe spends a long time trying to understand exactly what's going on. maybe her research leads her to a relationship with loco, i don't know. they do get on the train together, maybe, when they're both young (or, well, relatively speaking) and new to the world, and loco eventually has been driving the train for years and years and clarissa makes it a bit more tolerable with some companionship after a long lonely time. but those things don't happen simultaneously, because i think those things don't really work simultaneously. that scene is a sort of speedrun/amalgamation of how the two of them have interacted over the years. and yeah i guess that means they fucked at one point in there

(im going to be transparent, some of that is a bit of cope/rationalization. i think loco and the conductor are very exes/begrudging coworkers vibes, but i do like clarissa and loco together as well - unsettlingly powerful girl x eldritch being with a soft spot is a very good trope. and im trying to make it work out okay? give me a break lol. you don't have to agree with me on this, but once i see a luke and tom couple with a fun and compelling dynamic i will not let them go even if the ethics get a bit hard to explain later on. sorry, anyways moving on)

additionally, and i probably should have said this earlier, a reason i think this whole nutcracker theory holds up is because clarissa holds a sort of unique power in the world. she's been on the silver line for hundreds of real-years, who knows how many train-years, and still remembers her name and something of her old life. loco isn't hostile to her, even confirming her memory of her name and reminding her of her birthdate. with everyone else (ex. benjamin), he actively discourages them from remembering their lives. despite seemingly being one of the oldest passengers, she doesn't transform for hundreds of years. she obviously has some significance.

you know how that ties in? if this is clarissa's world, if her mind is what created the whole thing, then i think it makes sense to assume it's tied to her. as she begins to question her surroundings, then panic as she realizes she can't leave, her emotional and/or mental state becomes less stable, less utopic, less perfect. the dream begins to turn into a nightmare. and it becomes. well. an ouroboros. the snake eats its own tail and the train goes in circles and the escapist fantasy clarissa once loved becomes a prison of her own design. trapped in the very thing that was supposed to save her.

maybe that's why anthony and benjamin can get out when they do - as clarissa's world decays, as she finally begins to become part of the nightmare, as she melds with the train, the world has to shift a bit. it's reaching the point of no return - once clarissa has been fully sucked in, the train will never stop again. falling into an infinite nothing. but in that moment, there's one final chance for the conductor to stall locomotion, one final leap that could at last pull benjamin and anthony and everyone who's been sucked in by clarissa's black hole of a nightmare out of the portal and back into the real world.

and now, clarissa has lost three hundred years of a life that should never have lasted so long. gained perhaps thousands of years of memories of joy and connection and despair and panic and forever forever forever. and she is once again trapped in a vessel of her own making - her body is that of the child she has not been for lifetimes. her world is dead and gone - not just the world she created, but the world she escaped from as well. what of locomotion, that brief flash of connection? does he even exist anymore? who is she, now? who was she? where can she possibly go from here?

shoutout delirium_undead on discord for going along with the nutcracker theory and helping me flesh this out. your ideas are so galaxy brained and i am forever in your debt

[jade-of-mourning]

sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.

and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.

he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.

just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)

[thedrotter]

One of my favorite things about how Re:Kinder is written and how it tackles its themes is the way that Yuuichi and Shunsuke can be seen as parallels to each other. Shunsuke could have easily ended up like Yuuichi, feeling trapped in his pain and eventually breaking down. And the knowledge of that makes Shunsuke choosing to be kind to him in order to be kinder to himself really meaningful. That could have easily been him, so despite how he did not owe that kindness to the kid who killed his mother, the kindness just goes to show the strength of his resolve to be kinder even to the person he could have ended up as.

Albeit in a different way I think Killer End also showcases it in a way as well, with Shunsuke murdering Yuuichi for all the pain he endured because of him. It showcases how he too, if broken over, could end up committing such acts...

This also works viceversa. Yuuichi, in a better world, might have managed to fool his pain and anger successfully and keep moving on. But his unfortunate circumstances only led him to fall deeper into that despair. You can see him attempt to lighten up painful situations through acting absurdly, but ultimately being unable to fool himself once he falls victim to the helpless belief that this pain was entirely his own fault.

[spearxwind]

Dragonfang cannot speak in words, she just injects feelings and emotions directly into Adam's spine to communicate (This also means he's the only one who can "hear" her)

I thought of a way to represent that in comics is to have her speak with emojis :]

[grntaire]

10 days post-breast reduction and i’m like wow i feel so affirmed in my gender. wish i knew what it was

[runawaymun]

Have you ever just stared at an idea and couldn't write it? You want to buy it's so you tailored that no one will read it, in fact your scared that people who ship the rare pair might be disappointed with it.

If so how do you deal with it because I am struggling. I lost a lot of my creative drive because I feel like no one wants to hear my stories. Has that ever happened to you?

Sorry to come in and like have a big sad in you inbox but I love your work and I always wonder if other people with such amazing work feel this way too.

Ah, nonnie, you sent this in a little while ago and I was laid flat, so I'm so sorry that it has taken me this long to reply!

But yes, this has happened to me! I think it's very natural. The only way you can get past it is by saying fuck it tbh. Write what you want to write; write what makes you happy!

I thought Stars was going to be way too hyperspecific to me. I hadn't really seen anything like it, and platonic OC & Canon Character fics as a whole rarely see any popularity, but I wrote it with my whole chest and surprisingly it resonated with a lot of people. That happened with Brimbrond (there were like, I think three people who shipped it at the time I started writing Partake), and now with my Zhongli x Baizhu fics, Genshin is such a large fandom and it is such a rarepair. Zhongli is attached to one of the most popular fics in the fandom and Baizhu is simply rarely ever written about. But I love them. And I feel that way about Dehya and Baizhu, too, and plan on writing stuff for them and making art.

Truly the only way to get past this is to write what you love. You don't even have to post it. Write what you want to read. It helps if you can find even one other person who ships the ship and likes your work, and the two of you can scream about it together. I know it really sucks when it feels like no one's reading your work. I've had flop fics myself, and it happens especially with art since people just don't reblog as much as they used to. It can be really discouraging. But you have to do it for you.

If it's really bothering you, then maybe take a step back and just don't post anything. You don't have to post it at all. Write it without posting. Let it be Bad, even. Put your whole chest into it, write whatever tropes you want, skip around. If you're bored then don't write it. If you aren't having fun, don't write it. Skip all the uninteresting parts and just write the shippy nonsense you want to read.

I guess what I keep wanting to say and keep repeating ad nauseam is that you really, really cannot be writing for others. Again, believe me, I know it's disheartening when something flops and you feel like no one wants to read your work, but that's where you have to decide that you're going to write for you.

And if you're burnt out and absolutely nothing is fun, then take a step back and just read. Like, fanfic sure, but I mean a physical book. It'll exfoliate your brain. Read for fun. If you aren't enjoying the book then don't be afraid to DNF it. Play a good story-based video game if that's your thing. Watch a show or a movie and really pay attention to it. When I'm lacking inspiration and everything Feels Bad sometimes I just need to get some input. As it was described to me years ago: your writing brain is like a well. You have to pour good stuff into it. Nothing is written in a vacuum, and if you're struggling to make anything come out it may be because your well is empty, and you just need to top it up a bit.

Anyway, yeah. Enjoy some good fiction. Kill the critic inside your head. Write for you. I am pretty much terrified 100% of the time when I am writing and posting that it won't be good, it'll flop, no one will like it, etc. etc. But you absolutely cannot let that paralyze you into not creating. Don't let the critic in your head win. Tell yourself it doesn't have to be good. Repeat that over and over. It's okay if it's bad. It's okay if it's bad. No one even has to see it.

Plus, when it comes to rough drafts --- accept that it is going to be bad. You are just shoveling sand into a box to build castles with later.

If you want to post, please try to remember that it is a gift to the community. It is a privilege that we get to read other people's work. For FREE. For FUN. And make friends doing it! You do not owe anyone anything. At risk of sounding like a broken record: please, please, please write for you and no one else. If you choose to share it that is up to you, and the rest of us say fucking thank you. The inner critic never goes away. That fear never goes away. I'm so serious. But it's fake. It's so fake. It doesn't matter. Imagine it in a silly, stupid little voice (mine sounds like a whiny kylo ren or sometimes like Donald Trump, and then it's easy to dispel). Tell it to shut up. If it's like 'this is awful' then say 'that's okay. I'm having fun', and if it's like 'no one will read it,' then say 'that's okay, i'm writing it for me,' and then write what you want to write, because you like it and want to read it. Fuck it you ball.

[eyrieofsynapses]

good evening, all. it is May the 25th. our lilacs are blooming, just as the ones at the Watch House did. and I am thinking about remembrance of the fallen, and GNU, and the love in commemoration.

y'know, I read Night Watch… oh, maybe a year ago and some months ago. and the lilac symbolism, the remembrance of the Watch, has always struck me with the depth of the emotion of it, the tangibility of it in the flowers. but I wasn't aware that today was the day until I saw commemorative posts, all that gorgeous artwork and more, on my dash.

I was also not aware, until now, that fans commemorated the day not only because of the book reference, but in support of Terry Pratchett and of those with Alzheimer's. which knocked me over a bit because of course, of course the group that would use GNU to honor him would do that. and… I've been thinking about GNU a lot, lately, and this caught me again.

I read Going Postal a bit ago, and reread it recently. both times, the parts about GNU made me tear up. this idea of the names, the memories, the lives of the clacks workers who dedicated themselves to ensuring that people heard each other's voices—all those names spoken again and again and again by that which they poured their souls into, winging along in the air as they could not, an eternal reminder that they were loved—how could that not touch a person's heart?

when I found out that fans online used it to memorialize him, I damn well cried. hell, I still tear up just thinking about it. do you know, there's a code for an HTTP header "X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett" written by Reddit users to put in webpages, where it goes unseen by the average user? and in 2015, when Netcraft took a survey, there were eighty-four thousand websites using it? it's eight years later—how many thousands upon thousands of websites have this now, do you think? how many little cables of light has his name flown along, now? how many times?

that alone is absurdly and unimaginably lovely in its own right, but… there's something else to it. there's something about remembering with the lilac sprigs every year, just as Vimes and those who were there remembered their dead. something about how, when we take up our lilac sprigs, we carry a little piece of the characters in our hearts, too. I kept trying to put my finger on why that makes me tear up the way it does. the conclusion I came to is this:

what greater way to honor a writer is there, but to honor them the way they did the characters they poured their heart and soul into? what better way to say we know you and you are not forgotten and your work and words and gifts to the world are held in our hearts forever than to remember them by their own words, their own vision? how else could we say you embodied all the good you believed in and wished to see in the world, but to memorialize them after the little pieces of their soul they wrapped in ink and put upon the page?

it is a knowing of the writer, to remember them in their way. it is not a worn-out faceless platitude, but a reminder that their work has been read and will continue to be, that the characters and world they loved enough to bring to life last just as their name does. such remembrance is warm and loving and delights in their memory even as it grieves.

and now Pratchett's name has been written in his tradition, over and over and over, across the vast plane of the Internet, where it will—with any luck—continue to fly for generations to come.

there is no way to truly express the beauty of that… but perhaps we can catch a glimpse of it in the lilacs, both ours and the Watch's.

[unriding]

a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

[ravingrackoon]

The only photo I managed to get before my night hit the gas pedal. (Which Subtronics also performed his and Tape B's John Summit remix liiiiveee oghhhhmyyyygaaqwwwd.

Night 2 went. It full sent. Those 2 tabs, also full sent (me on a tRIip). Philadelphia you have given me such a special and rare experience, Subtronics b2b Zeds Dead was my perfect last set for 2024. Ending it where it began for me: A Zeds Dead set while I'm peaking with nothing but love and gratitude for myself and the music and the man sharing this life with me. I can't believe this is my life.

ALSO this new Aaron Brooks jersey is about to become my new go to rave fit. Francis tried to bleed on it, but I handled it, and got a new pair of rave shorts out of it too. (Carmic year circle poping up again? Not Francis in December when she was supposed to be GONE by February...)

Lastly, I made it back to my hotel room safely and in enough time to pack AND SHOWER before I make the lengthy journey home. Hijinx24 is over.

[polycrews]

ddcds. for u (hopefully ur day will b a bit better!)

had to take a second to respond to this because dear GOD this made me lose coherent thoughts. ahem

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[captainderyn]

[Fictober24] Day 2: "It's been a long time."

Prompt: "It's been a long time."

Fandom: LOTRO

Pairings: Wulfwryn/Raenor

Warnings: None

Summary: A young Faewryn spins tales of the Dunedain, playing pretend in a grand adventure. Along the way she learns of old friends of Raenor and Wulfwryn.

Translations:

Telellë: little elf Ada: dad henig: my child emil: mother

----

Tales of the Dunedain were fraught with danger, adventure, and feats that defied what seemed possible. The stories swirled vividly in Faewryn’s mind, spun by the skillful voice of Aragorn to a rapt Eldarion and her the afternoon prior. Both her ada and mother had told her bedtime stories of rangers as well, and she knew the songs her ada sang of them by heart. 

This afternoon she was not Faewryn, the Gondorian half-elf, but one of the Dunedain, proud and tall, forging through distant lands, searching for a foul creature that threatened all of Man. The stone around her did not make up the walls of her family home in Minas Tirith; it was a forgotten hideout in the deep woods. Within her hideout she peeked through the windows—watching for the signal that marked a sighting of her mark. 

There! A bird call. That was the signal, she had to move now! 

Faewryn scrambled down from her perch by the window, scanning the room for her supplies. She snatched her wooden sword in its cloth sheath from the doorway of her bedroom as well as the dark brown throw blanket from the foot of her bed. Slinging the blanket around her shoulders, she tied it in a fumbling knot, only for it to come undone and fall around her feet as soon as she moved. 

That wouldn’t do, it wouldn’t do at all. She had to make haste! The Enemy could escape at any time. 

The bird call sounded again, more urgent this time, and Faewryn gasped. She hurried into her parents room, tugging along the small stool from the corner of her own bedroom. 

Using the stool, she stepped onto it and reached for an ornate wooden box sitting on the dresser. Her mother had taken it down several times for her to sort through the broaches and cloak pins, and if there was something she needed urgently now it was a pin. 

Her mother had always cautioned her not to prick her fingers on the sharp edges, but she’d never cautioned Faewryn about using one at all…

A shining cloak pin caught her attention and she picked it up, balancing it in her palms. It was a black broach emblazoned with a six-pointed white star. It reminded Faewryn of her mother’s daily uniform—the colors matched and the star echoed the ones that surrounded the White Tree on all the banners around the city. 

She let the box drop closed and hopped off her step stool, running back to her discarded cloak. Once more the bird all sounded and she fumbled with the pin. 

“I’m coming!” she called, finally getting the clasp to snap. With that she ran for the door, shoving it open with a grunt. Just to slam into a veritable wall of heavy fabric. 

The Enemy was here!

With a great battle shout, Faewryn freed herself of the Enemy’s clutches, shaking the cloth sheath off of her sword after wild waving it about and taking up her stance for battle. 

“Come no further, Enemy!” she cried, brandishing her sword. 

Her mother rocked back on her heels before an amused glint flashed through her eyes. 

“Telellë, you have caught me unarmed!” Wulfwryn exclaimed. 

Faewryn grinned, gesturing broadly with her sword. “Surrender, you can’t win!” 

Wulfwryn gave a beaten sigh, lifting her shoulders up and down dramatically with the motion. “So it would seem…” She said before smiling. “But you’ve underestimated me, warrior!” 

Before Faewryn had the chance to react she was scooped off her feet and hoisted over Wulfwryn’s shoulder. She squirmed but couldn’t free herself and her sword clattered out of her hands. 

“Ada!” She howled, tossing herself around. “Ada, I’ve been captured!” 

Wulfwryn grunted, letting Faewryn down. 

”You’re getting big, henig, I won’t be able to capture you much longer.” she said. 

Faewryn scampered over to her ada, who appeared around the corner. Raenor ran his fingers through her hair as she melted into a hug. She glowered at up at him from beneath furrowed brows. 

“Your warning call didn’t say the enemy was right there.” 

Raenor tossed his free hand up in an oh dear gesture. “Ach! I was never made for scouting. You fight bravely though, henig.” 

Wulfwryn eased herself into a crouch, waving Faewryn over, “What’s the broach you’ve chosen today? Let me see.” 

Faewryn protested when Wulfwryn went to unclip it, tugging her ‘cloak’ more tightly around herself, so she leaned closer to inspect it instead. Her lips pressed together in a wistful smile as she ran her fingers over the six pointed star. 

“Ah, have I ever told you of the story behind this one?” she asked. 

Faewryn shook her head but pointed to the embroidery on Wulfwryn’s overcoat, “No, but I thought it looked like yours, emil.” 

Wulfwryn pushed herself out to her feet, holding out her hand to Faewryn. “Would you like to hear the story?” She asked. 

Grabbing her hand, Faewryn held out her other hand for her father. Raenor fell into step alongside her, holding her hand even as they had to bend and stretch to go single file though the door. 

“Of course I want to hear it!” Faewryn exclaimed, clambering onto her mother’s lap as Wulfwryn pulled out one of the chairs at the table. 

Wulfwryn wrapped her arms around Faewryn, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Raenor settled in on their other side, leaning his forearms onto the tabletop. 

“That star is that of the Dunedain.” Wulfwryn started, tapping her finger against the cloak clasp. “This one in particular came from a group known as the Grey Company.” 

Faewryn looked down at the broach, mouthing the name to etch it into her memory, “Did you travel with them, emil?” 

“Ay, both your ada and I traveled alongside them for quite a time, through Dunland and times before. It’s been…I’m not sure I can put a count on how many years ago that was.” 

“It’s been a long time.” Raenor agreed. “It is a great honor to receive one such star, and I’m ashamed to admit my own was lost to a place dark and foul during our travels.” 

Faewryn ran her fingers over the indentations of the engravings, eyes wide. 

“Does that mean you’re Rangers?” she asked in awe. 

Wulfwryn laughed, “No, alas, we were simply honored with a token of their kind.” 

A sorrowful look crossed her face and Faewryn shimmied closer, wrapping her arms around her mother’s shoulders. Wulfwryn held her close, deep in thought for a long moment. 

“They were very, very good people.” she finally said. “Would you like to hear some more stories?”  

[coldshrugs]

you're the only roof i'm standing under

blessed with a @ryuichifoxe commission of snuggly io and estinien 🥰

[sp-growingpains]

Heyy 👋👋 its me again teehee

Im absolutely exhausted from these assignments and reading about Jean lore always cheers me up 🫶 (but no pressure to answer)

1. We've seen a lot about Jean's relationship with Kyle and Stan, but what about Kenny, Butters, and Eric? What are their interactions like?

2. Is she more extroverted or introverted? What are people's first impressions of her?

3. What are her feelings towards school and how well does she do? Does she hate it? Is she a straight A student?

4. What clique is Jean in? I think you've mentioned she has a soft spot for the goth kids, so is she a part of their group? And if not them, then who?

5. Weird one, but if someone were to break into Jean's house (considering how crazy South Park can get sometimes this isnt that farfetched), what's the first thing she's grabbing? If she fight or flight?

When I tell you that you actually made me tear up from asking this alone. The thought that my little blorbo makes you happy fills me with so much joy. I hope you understand that I plan on giving that love back! 🫶

OH IT'S RAMBLIN' TIME

Her Relationship With Others!

Starting with the most difficult going to the easiest to think about

Cartman: Real talk, I've spent hours thinking about her relationship with Eric. And like most people's ocs with him, it's complicated. On a normal day, she's a perfect victim for his schemes. Jean is a himbo down to her core. That means she's very gullible, to the point where it takes her a long time to learn not to keep falling for it.

If the Cartman Schemes are harmless and just fall back on her, it's fine. Most of the time, she'll laugh it off and think it's just Cartman's way of playing.

When it bleeds over to the others, that's when she gets frustrated with him. She truly believes that people are good at their core and that belief extends to him. So it frustrates her when she sees him fall into those ignorant habits or that extreme behavior.

Now, when it comes to his attitude towards Kyle, she takes a bit of a back seat. I have thoughts about her stepping in if it ever got physical or if either one took it too far. Because we've seen that Kyle's attitude towards Cartman is antagonistic at times. That's not to say he's as bad as Cartman (because NO ONE is as bad as Cartman), but Kyle does come off as very "Holier than thou art"! Jean's doesn't know a lot, but she knows when something is a losing battle.

Outside of that, she thinks most of the things he says is just some attempt at crude, edgy, 4chan humor. Because no one could really think those things. Right?

The only time Jean gets legitimately beyond angry with him was that whole thing with Kyle and Nichole. At the end of the day, she wants all of her friends to be happy. Nichole brought Kyle legitimate happiness, and he ruined that.

Butters: Oh sweet Butters. Baby boy Butters. Most of the fandom has reduced Leo to a sweet sunshine boy who could do no wrong.

Personally, as me, I know he's not like that. He's a sweetheart, sure, but he's also a little stinker. He falls into the same stupid habits of being tricked like Jean would. "Fool me once shame on you," kind of thing. Says some pretty dumb shit and does dumb shit just like the rest of them.

However, that mentality the Fandom pushes onto Butters is almost how Jean sees him. It's unfortunate, but Butters could get away with so much because of it. To her, Butters will always be that little brother that she has to protect. When he starts coming around more, she makes a silent vow to keep him safe.

But honestly, because of that view, she probably will never be super close to him. Almost to the point where she doesn't take him very seriously. And I can see that frustrating Butters later on in life. It would take him either blowing up on her or someone pointing it out that Jean treats him kinda like a joke. Of course, she'll feel horrible about it because that's never her intention.

But she goes out of her way to make sure he's included in things like late night diner runs. Out of hand parties. Goofy arcade outings. Birthday parties!

Kenny: The final dude on the main four, but certainly not forgotten. He's another one I've spent a very long time thinking about.

When I think about their relationship, I truly believe Kenny is the only one who really sees how self-destructive Jean is to herself. I've talked about how Stan and Jean understand each other in a way you can only get with someone who's like you, but that in itself isn't healthy. It becomes an echo chamber.

Kenny is the person who really pulls Jean out of her shit. He calls her out when she's on her fourth energy drink. When she's sweating vodka or when she stays up too late. What makes him so perfect for this is that Kenny is so casual about it. He does it in a way that doesn't make her feel bad about being fussed over.

Besides his laid-back attitude, there's an agreement between the two of them. Kenny and Jean look out for each other. I have always preached Kenny McCormick is a man who would give the world everything. He's so very kind, he loves so very much and Jean loves that about him. Loves that so much that she will give him the world back.

When they're old enough to understand, she offers her home to him and his sister. Making sure they have a warm meal and a place away from it all. What's the point of that big old empty house if you've got no one to share it with. Even then, when Jean's trying to give him something, he's taking care of her. Giving her that purpose she so desperately craves.

Jean's incredibly jealous of Kenny, and that drives her to be better. To do more. I guess in a roundabout way, Kenny is a friendly rival that keeps her going.

I also headcanon that Kenny is the one that did her industrial bar! They DIY their piercings together like idiots.

Extroverted and Burnt Out!

My buddies and I have talked a lot about how much of yourself you put in your oc. I try very hard to make all of my ocs their own person, but I don't hide the small amount I put of myself in my ocs. For Jean, I gave her my horrible habit of doing too much!

Jean is an extrovert! She loves going out, meeting new people, and constantly being on the go. It stems from that fear of being alone, being trapped with your thoughts, and needing to be needed so badly. She puts too much of herself out there until she crashes and burns. That typically comes from doing something reckless.

On the outside, Jean puts up a friendly front. She's goofy, loud, warm, and the personification of a golden retriever! The way she dresses and how big of a woman she is might give her a bit of a scary vibe, but she's honestly a big teddy bear. The last thing she wants is to scare people, so she tries to keep a smile on her face!

Smooth-Brain Hours!

Jean absolutely hates school. She hates having to sit still for hours in a desk that's too uncomfortable, listening to some teacher who probably doesn't give a shit about the thing they're teaching about. High-school Jean is a menace. She doesn't go out of her way to disrupt class because she won't even show up if she can help it. Especially if it's science and math. She doesn't get it and it frustrates her.

I've made jokes about her being stupid and a himbo, and jokes aside, she's just not book smart. If it's something that interests her, she's all over it! If we're comparing her to the other students, she's about Clyde's level of intelligence. The only difference is that she tries very hard to listen to the people who are smart.

It's only through the grace of her friends and those who care about her that she even passed to begin with. This kind of leads into her 'blind loyalty'. If Kyle, Tolkien, Nichole, or Wendy tell her something, she believes them almost to the point where she won't question it!

The things that keep her coming back are those people and the after-school activities. Playing basketball and getting to jam out in the music room! Going to watch football games and support her friends! Never a dull day in South Park, and she loves the chaos that comes with it.

The Squad

It's really hard to clock Jean into one clique. My first thoughts are those group of gym bros that will hype you up! Then I remembered all of my friends who are a part of the metal/punk community are like that.

So that's her little community outside of her normal squad. Her jacket has different patches on them that remind her of her friends and her favorite bands. She's got a Dio patch across her right chest pocket, that one is closest to her heart! Her favorite thing to do is to get into the pits and mosh! Loud music drumming in her ears and flowing through her veins. Surrounded by other people who just get it.

Punk is about community and standing up again injustice. Jean's got a problem with authority, especially when it comes to stupid adults. She's grown up surrounded by her friends' horrible parents, teachers who don't give a shit, and stupid hicks. She's gonna be a part of a group that's a little...defiant?

I can see the goths, at least tolerating her. Mostly because their insults slide off her smooth brain. That and she enjoys listening to their poetry when she skips class for a smoke break!

Them's Fighting Words

I talk a lot about how Jean is this big teddy bear. This gentle giant with a heart of dumb. But the reason she's like this is because she tries very hard to be like this. In actuality, under all of that sunshine, she loves a good fight. The rush, the adrenaline behind it all, down to the pretty purple bruises that come with it. It all feels so very deserved.

And that's not right. It's not normal to think like that.

So if a fight presents itself. Someone breaks into her house, hearing about how some stupid woman lives alone in this fancy house, and that makes for easy pickings; she's gonna take it eagerly. Any excuse to let go of that pent-up rage she keeps bottled up.

The fun answer as to what she's grabbing would be her guitar, but she'd rather bleed out on the floor than break her darling instrument. So she grabs her bass instead. Besides, everyone knows the bass swings harder. Makes a nicer sound when it comes into contact with someone's head too.

If she wins the fight and she knows the fight is done, she'll take responsibility for the damage she's caused. If something is broken, she goes out of her way to make sure the person can get to the hospital. For as much as she loves fighting, and the pain feels deserved for her, she's a bleeding heart. In the back of her head, whoever broke into her house had to do it out of desperation. Had to have a reason for why they needed to do this. Maybe she can help them. Put them on the right path! Sometimes, that path starts with a few fists being thrown!

Hey, thanks for being patient with me, and I hope this was a fun read! I truly appreciate and adore this community and the friends I've made through it! I want to continue to get better with my art and word smithing so I can make the content you all deserve! You really made me think about some things I wouldn't have considered! Your brain is beautiful and I love it!