#to think id forget is absurd im not getting over this game im not so this may not be the last time these weeks were i might ramble

[thedrotter]

One of my favorite things about how Re:Kinder is written and how it tackles its themes is the way that Yuuichi and Shunsuke can be seen as parallels to each other. Shunsuke could have easily ended up like Yuuichi, feeling trapped in his pain and eventually breaking down. And the knowledge of that makes Shunsuke choosing to be kind to him in order to be kinder to himself really meaningful. That could have easily been him, so despite how he did not owe that kindness to the kid who killed his mother, the kindness just goes to show the strength of his resolve to be kinder even to the person he could have ended up as.

Albeit in a different way I think Killer End also showcases it in a way as well, with Shunsuke murdering Yuuichi for all the pain he endured because of him. It showcases how he too, if broken over, could end up committing such acts...

This also works viceversa. Yuuichi, in a better world, might have managed to fool his pain and anger successfully and keep moving on. But his unfortunate circumstances only led him to fall deeper into that despair. You can see him attempt to lighten up painful situations through acting absurdly, but ultimately being unable to fool himself once he falls victim to the helpless belief that this pain was entirely his own fault.

[littlelovelymemes]

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[grammaticalmustaches]

KETTLE KATCHERZ FEEL FREE TO READ

under a read more due to length oops

suddenly overcome with love for my players. its a constant emotion but im feeling it so big right now. 

theyre just so invested in the world! and their characters! and theyre so kind!?! truly i think dnd brings out the best in people.

i gave them some kenku that are having trouble integrating with a community because of the language barrier and now my players are out of game diving into esl education to make a communication book to help them get basic ideas across.

it is an ongoing joke that they adopt every npc i give them and its not much of a joke bc no lie i think there are just as many npcs who travel with the party as there are actual pcs. actually i just counted there are exactly as many party npcs as there are pcs. three of those npcs are kind of just one npc who at one point shared a consciousness but are now separate(-ish) beings and one of those npcs is just a small horde of dust bunnies that occasionally either makes or cleans up messes so you could argue the numbers dont actually line up but it is still an absurd number of npcs to have adopted. i have to plan reasons npcs cant or dont want to go on adventures as one of the first character points i make otherwise their party would be triple its size. i am constantly forgetting how many npcs they have with them at all times but they Dont forget and make points to include them in conversations and decision making.

i just think dnd brings out the best in people!!!

also i lowkey hate making maps but maps are important for understanding the world so iv been doing research and shit and trying to get better at it but! my players literally help with that? not just in making it fun and rewarding but like literally help with the task of it? 

as in we just came from a city that one of my players spent a few years at so he drew a map of the city and wrote me out a Huge world building document about the city and its culture and like, climate and neighborhoods and what was important to his character while living there and everything! and another player gave me a six page document that included maps about the territory their character grew up in like, almost at the very beginning of our campaign! i havn’t even had a chance to use any of that information yet because they come from a very far away place! they dont care they Had Fun making me this big old document! and now we’re visiting a player’s childhood home and They’ve offered to make the map for the area! that would be three whole maps all player made!!! 

theyre just so invested and make things so easy on me!!! it is so easy to dm a group that is constantly focused on Working With the world and moving their characters forward!

and its a super homebrewed campaign partially bc i honestly think thats not only more fun but how dnd is Meant to be played, with some creativity and making shit up on the spot, but also my players are so good!!! about shit being homebrew!!! when something comes up we dont know the rules for or which rules dont exist for we work together to decide what happens!!! if someone knows a rule i dont they let me know and i can ask them what they think happens given the rules that do apply and we make decisions together on how it works with a focus on what makes the most compelling story! 

its just so truly OUR game!!! my beloved comrades!!!

Also like, its been off and on and we’ve taken breaks but we’ve been playing since March 2019? and people have added and left and like i said we’ve had to take breaks but in the end this is not a campaign i can imagine not being in anymore. i cannot imagine this campaign ending just because, like, there’s just so many of them who are so invested!!! and Im so invested! to be honest this campaign is one of the most fun and rewarding things in my life and one of my favorite things about it is how confident i am that it is going to be a constant in my life for a long time. like im really able to just Revel in this campaign and sink hours of work into weird bullshit and plan out arcs and enemies and friends and plot hooks and aesthetic bullshit i dont expect our party to meet for Quite a while because i just! i have no fear that this is going to end!

One of my players got a symbol from our campaign tattooed onto their flesh body? art that i made for dungeons and dragons? it will be on their human body for the rest of their life? and another got a tattoo that (partially) represents what this campaign means to them? another has told me they would love to get a campaign related tattoo with me someday? there is a tattoo in game that binds (most of) the pcs to each other and there has been talk about us getting that tattoo together?

i cannot think about this for too long or i go insane. i made some shapes on canva and spent the whole time wishing i had ms paint because ms paint is my level of art and these are designs that are being added to bodies because we have collectively installed so much emotion and meaning into them. 

i am losin gmy mind.

and like, iv already sunk lowkey a kind of unreasonable amount of time (esp for someone who just went back to school and has homework!) into making my kenku soundboard and mixtape but its been such a passion project already and the whole time iv been working on it iv had Zero fear of the reception because i Know and Trust that my players will think my first attempt at using garageband is sick as hell even if its kind of not because they are just crazy supportive and love our world like i cant even really call it my world its truly Our world and! we all love and contribute to it!!!???!!!

I just love my party so much!!!

i just!!! truly think!!! dnd brings out the best in people!!!

at the end of every session we do a rose/bud/thorn (thing we liked/thing we’re looking forward to/thing that could be improved or issue wed like to bring up) to check in with how the session went!!! we discuss things we didnt like and how wed change them!!! 

they challenge me Constantly not just in pushing my capabilities as a growing dm but they also speak up and challenge my decisions when they disagree! 

i jsut cannot get over how truly we are Working Together in all aspects to make this campaign what it is. 

i have a tendency to move dnd at a crawling pace where every hour of every day is meticulously role played. and they told me they didnt like that and now we work together to make things move faster! and it doesnt always work and we still dont move that fast but weve brainstormed several options and tried a few new things to make it easier for me to go faster!

PROBLEM SOLVING INSIDE AND OUTSIDE OF GAME

dnd! brings out! the best in people!

and also also also theres like, Multiple players who really hate using technology and sometimes esp video chatting. and most sessions currently people’s thorns have been tech issues/being on video. but wer still all (mostly) show up every session! we still submit to the mortifying ordeal of being seen/heard on discord!

some of my players have an accented character voice and i love them So So So Much for this and it makes me feel confident and comfortable enough to try my best at (when i remember to) doing character voices for npcs but we are not critical role and we are certainly not voice actors so none of our voices are very good or consistent! and my players with accents get self conscious about this pretty often but like!!! they are TRYING!!! they are GIVING IT THEIR ALL!!!

what more could anyone possibly ask of them?

multiple players have come to me concerned and looking for advice/help because they dont think theyre very good at role play/staying in character. we’ve got people who so dedicated theyre stepping Way outside their comfort zone and then turning around and apologizing for how far a walk it was??? they are giving it Their All and their biggest concern is how to give MORE?

i had a moment last session where i realized that our current arc is literally exactly the kind of arc i Dreamed of dming when i was first starting out. like, not to toot my own horn but its legitimately open world and they have a mystery that they need to get to know a small community and find out what everyone knows and put all the pieces together to figure out what happened. i used to scroll through dm forums Endlessly looking for Any advice on how to plan a good mystery and i didnt think id ever be at the point where i could actually pull a mystery Or an open world arc off. but like, here i am. its going pretty great so far.

also this current arc is one of the First i ever thought up for this campaign. obviously it’s changed and evolved a lot since original concept but like. just a Bit emotional over, ya know. finally getting here and having it be even better than i imagined. how far we’ve all come, in and out of game. the fact that my players had so much fun talking to my prize npc kenku whom i have been developing for literal years now and adore beyond reason that they are learning about esl studies to help them integrate into the coven they are trying to join.

DND! BRINGS OUT! THE BEST IN PEOPLE!

COLLABORATIVE STORYTELLING. WORKING TOGETHER TO CRAFT MEANING. LOVING AND SUPPORTING EACH OTHERS CREATIVE DECISIONS. MAKING DICK JOKES.

THIS IS WHAT DND IS ALL ABOUT BABY. 

[suhnnyskiess]

so we had a power outage yesterday night and today's morning so i spent and absurd amount of time writting for this tiktok prompt that was saying how we’re all worried whether or not we could pull our anime crushes when we should be thinking whether or not our anime crushes could pull us

And like hhhhh *head in hands* here goes nothing. Bc i spent my whole morning writting. for my top 4 HQ boys, kenma was the fifth but i didn’t finish the idea.

Iwaizumi

Okay but Iwaizumi could probably mmm okay if I were a second year and i had a crush on him i would probably ignore him? Like not ignore per se but probably would not even think he could like me, not bc im unlovable or anything (i think im pretty awesome) but bc i mean, I'm not even in his radar. Like in HS i was that student who despised sports except volleyball bc it was fun!! So maybe we befriend by me coming to the volleyball team to ask the coach if i can borrow a ball to play with my friends and the coach at firs was like 😐 so i go ☺️ and give him my student ID so he can be sure i will comeback and not steal his ball and if something happens he knows my info and he agrees!! So i go play with my friends and when i comeback the coach is not there anymore it's just Oikawa and Iwaizumi so i greet them and ask them where should i put the ball and they are like _oh, its you_ so i go ☺️☺️ yes its me! Thank them and i ask them for ny ID and Iwa gives it back so "Thanks iwaizumi san!" And go back my merry way and it becomes a ritual everyother day i come ask for the ball and return it to Iwa and one Friday we are having an event of sorts so all third years we have the day off classes and instead we have activities to do as a group and I go back to ask the couch for the ball but it's only Iwa so i ask him if he wants to play! He agrees and its funny bc hes still taller than me and some friends but we have fun! We get closer after that and we start greeting each other in the hall and maybe i even start going to see the team practice more often and its weird bc I'm next to Oikawas fangirls and i don't understand the hype? But its better than be alone and i always leave before they notice me until one day i lose track of time and i stay till the end of practice and Iwa sees me with bunch of oikawa's fangirls and I oblivious greet him and I'm flustered bc oh no what if he thinks im creepy but when i go down and tell him how he was doing great he goes ?? I thought you were watching oikawa? Why would I watch him when there's you? And we both realize what i just said so i yeet myself out bc thats embarrassing ❣️ and the next time he sees me he askes me why i did that and i just laugh and change the subject, its fun being friends with him. So if he told me he liked me i would be too shocked?? So I wouldn't be too sure to accept his confession but i would probably agree to hang out just the two of us, bc i would be interested but knowing myself i would eithrr be too conscious to accept or to eager so idk

BUT if we are talking about time skip! iwa the thoughts are the same like, if i do end up working in journalism or anything similar and idk let's say i end up working in sport news or something i probs would say _hi!_ to him or something and be friendly bc you always have to be nice even more so to the people you interview lmao so idk we end up as friends but he never asks me out bc i don't even process he might like me, sorry iwa chan. Like i am very oblivious lol.

Atsumu

Oh boy do I have been thinking hhhhh like you see the thing is with atsumu im pretty sure we would be like strangers to enemies to lovers I'm so sure of it. Like if he were my upperclassmen i would silently hate him and if we were in the same year i would straight out dispise him and roll eyes and be like 😐😐 why are you so cocky??? Like yeah hes actually very handsome and talented but ??? Hes soooo cocky around his fans like who does he think he is??? Idk I've always hated men lol So its most likely I would have banter around him in class like idk its my turn to speak in class he audibly yawns or coughs to interrumpt me so i accidentally forget to tell him to bring his USB for next day presentation bc schedule changed or when labs suddenly changed and we aree having chem lab and i remind everyone but it slips my mind to remind him stuff like that and one day we get paired up for math bc i suck and he doesn't suck as much so we have to work together and im trying to keep this stern vibe but he's joking around with Suna in the other table and I'm just losing my mind bc i need to pass and i ask him to kindly help me before i lose my mind so he kinda shifts like _sorry i know grades are important to you_ andf i go 👁️👁️ bc _...thanks_ and he ends up actually working so maybe he isn't as bad after all and maybe just maybe we can be friends.

Omg i got carried away 😭😭😭😐

So yeah i think after befriending him and seeing how he's not that bad i kinda do fall for him, but i would try to keep my "friends vibe" and be like everything is okay until one day its sports day or whatever and the volleyball team is playing against another good school and this is our last match as third years in a school event and everyone knows the Miya twins are Amazing and they are excited but i talk to atsumu in the changing rooms and just wish him good luck and i run back to the stairs bc that went awkward so the game begins and everyone is cheering bc we are winning but the other school wins the second set and now the third keeps us on our toes but of course everyone is giving their all and when finally atsumu sets osamu the final pass we win and everyone is screaming in excitement and us third years who where on the public go running towards them and we are all celebrating and I immediately go hug atsumu bc !!! We won and he hugs me back bc !!! We won!!! But then i realize we are too close and i get nervous again so try to move but he doesn't let me and 👉🏽👈🏽 i look at him and he looks at me and maybr something happens i don't know

Short answer is yes, he could pull me.

nOw if we talk about time skip atsumu i don't think he's as cocky as when he was a teen, cuz like he's an adult of sorts. I sill don't know how could we meet tho, I have friends who play volleyball so maybe one day i ask if I can see them play and they are having a friendly match with some other people in the gym and I agree bc we are having food after the game so- Maybe we meet there, add him on socials and i realize he's a famous player 😐😐😐 and i talked to him casually but then i see a message request and its from him so we kinda statt talking. As I said, i don't know if I could realize if its mutual or not bc i never notice if someone i like likes me and if i notice its bc i know they don't like me, bc i only have noticed when strangers??? Not strangers perse but ppl who i don't like back like me lol. So if he ever asked me out on a date i wouldn't even know it was a date 😭😭 and when people start asking us if we are dating i would be like mmm🧐 no we just went to eat😋😋 so he would have to freaking spell it out for me if he likes me 😩

Kuroo

Kuroo would be too cocky to even pull me like with how i was in Highschool i would have most likely think he was playing around or too himbo for my liking bc yeah hes nice and all but? I remember having classmates that could fit the Kuroo criteria and some girls did crush on them but like? Maybe i would too but probably i would quickly be over it LMAO Like yeah i would probably get flustered if he flirted  but i would recover easily bc lmao he's just being friendly. Like hes too nice for me to nice something, lets say we both are studying in the library with other classmates and hes helping us with chem I would simply think hes being nice or a good freind even bc ??? hes nice yknow or if he helps me carry my bag or lunch when im walking the stairs I don’t know i think he would probably get desperate that i never see his actings towards me or wthv so one day he simply goes “I have to tell you something” and i think everyone but me knows so i just nod and walk with him outside the classroom and he well says what he feels and i honest to kid you not i would simply go :o really? BC HDOSFJDSIFJSS HES A NICE FRIEND so maybe idk, really depends but if i did like him i would propably get flustarted bc i would probably realize at that moment i do like him but if im not like thinking I would the awkward thing you do when someone likes you and you are just like Oh thanks idk what to say back lol c-ya So yeah idk i do think hes very handsome and smart and likeabale but i can’t see myself straight out accepting bc i tend to bee very dumb with feelings <3

Timeskip Kuroo however would maybe do pick my attention, he has a stable job, has friends, is athletic like he could easily pull me bUT would depend really on my mood bc that could also be too normal?? Idk man haven't dated anyone seriously to know what timeskip could be like. BUT LIKEEE YESSS IMAGINE another friend with a normal 9 to 5 job that hates capitalism as much as me and we both complain about having to live in this fucked up system and trying to subvert as much as we can HHHH AND HES AN EYE CANDY TOO??? yes i am objectivfying him.

Bokuto

Bokuto in HS would have me swooning over him in silence and not me ever telling him i liked him. Or i would jokingly say i like him but never to serious bc he's way too popular and i know the point of this is too see if they could pull me sbdkdld

So okay, hmmmm as i said i would probably be too shy to approach him if he was an upperclassmen, if we were the same year i would talk to him and even help with homework bc thats what i did with some jocks but i just think i wouldn't notice if he liked me 😭😭😭 Like if he ever asked me out i would think its a secret camera or something??? Like why would he??? But if he is serious about it I think I would say yes???

Timeskip bokuto is in a similar story as iwa, if i do end up working in journalism and i meet him by chance it would be cute?? To see him show interest in me but i don't know if I would accept or notice? Bc I'm working and i should be professional but if he asks me out after they won s game i would probably say yes bc how can i not say yes to him LOOK AT HIM HHHHH *screams*